Callicantzaros

by Symphony

Rating: teen
Tags: Alternate Universe, Human, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Other, Adventure
Length: 10035

A human transported to Equestria, and he has forgotten what he was...

Some call me a myth, some call me a legend. I call myself an idiot.

So, what started off as a normal day at work turned into something well, interesting to say the least... I have no idea what that dude turned me into, but I have claws. Big claws, Oh, and there's the thing with a thirst for blood. No biggie, right?

Also, being nocturnal blows. Hard.

CGoTG fic with my own twist. This is a side project, which means that I'll update it whenever I feel like it. Accepted into the game by Io.

Published 2012-09-14 19:44:01 UTC
Last updated 2013-02-02 20:22:27 UTC

Not a Good Day

Right, I presume that I should start with how I got involved in this mess in the first place; to be honest, I don't really know what happened myself. If I'd take a guess, it all started with me on a normal day at work. I worked as a mechanic on my father's garage, doing just some basic repairs on a few vehicles.

We didn't work strictly on cars, mind you; we repaired lawn mowers, bikes, snowmobiles and basically everything on wheels. 'If you don't know how to repair it, try until you've figured it out.' That's one of the first things he taught me. I basically grew up in a garage, seeing as I was always in one with him since I was three years old, and now I'm seventeen. Time flies when you're having a blast, you know. However, what I thought to be another day at work ended up with throwing my life as I knew it upside-down. No, I won't reference the Fresh Prince of Bel-air. Quit it.

''Sir, if your car isn't starting and it’s been standing still for three years; it usually means that it won't work unless you, or me, drain the tank.'' I rubbed the bridge of my nose, only to curse as I remembered that my hands were still slightly oily from a recent oil change. I was talking on the phone with some stubborn old kook who thought that it would be a brilliant idea to use a car which had gone unused for years. ''Look Sir, does the fuel in the tank smell like cat piss?''

''What?!''

I flinched and moved the phone away from my ear on pure instinct, as I knew that some people often have a very colorful vocabulary when it comes to these kinds of things ''Does the fuel in the tank of your car smell like the urine of an unwashed feline?'' I awaited his answer, and lo and behold, I was right all along! I didn't have the time to celebrate my victory though. ''Alright then, bring it to the shop and I'll get it working in a jiffy. Just keep pumping the gas and it should start, but avoid straining the engine when the fuel is bad. Bye.'' I hung up and sighed heavily, not much rest here, no. My dad was out and repairing a Volkswagen Transporter that had broken down, so I was alone at the garage at the moment. I washed my hands then grabbed a cup of coffee while glancing at the clock. 2.30 pm...

I shrugged and sat down; I could afford taking a short break before the guy with the fuel-problem stopped by. A draft ran through the garage, signaling that someone had just entered it. But the weird thing was that I didn't hear the door opening. I set the cup down on the table and walked out to inspect, nothing was there. Weird... I looked outside just to see two crows sitting in a tree on the other side of the road. I shrugged once again and turned back to get my coffee before it would get cold. Cold coffee isn't good at all, in fact, it's just disgusting.

About five minutes later, another draft went through the building I cursed and stood up, but just as I left the room, I saw a strange man standing there. I had no idea who he was, but damn, he was tall... If I'd dare to guess, he was way about 2 meters tall, if not more. He was wearing a black trench coat with black pants, and to make everything cooler, he even had a black eyepatch! His eye which wasn't covered was icy blue, and I mean so blue that it was almost creepy in some strange way... In his left hand was a cane with a silver handle, and he had three rings on his right hand. He also had a great, white beard. I believe I have just met the world's first black metal pimp, ladies and gentlemen!

I rubbed the back of my neck awkwardly and looked away from him; he was obviously looking at me with interest. So, how am I supposed to tell him that I won't work for him in the shabby streets downtown? I remembered that I had scheduled an appointment, so with hope, I asked the question I really wanted the right answer of. ''So... You're the one with the fuel-problem, yeah?'' The guy just nodded, and I nodded firmly once back to him. ''It's outside, right?'' He nodded once again and chucked the keys to me. With me being a former hockey goalie, I snatched it mid-air without any issues and walked outside. But what I saw actually made me drool.

It was an original 1959 Mercedes Benz 300 SL! I've only seen one of these babies once before, but that was on a car museum. But here, on my father's garage of all places!? I honestly never thought that it would happen. I coughed awkwardly and climbed into the driver's seat. When I triggered the ignition, it sputtered and didn't really want to start, but after a while, it started but it was obvious that it wasn't working at 100%.

When I had driven it inside, I grabbed a few tools from the cart and walked into the pit below the car, so I could get a better view of the tank and where I could drain it. It didn't take long for me to find it and start draining it. All I could do at that moment was to wait. I didn't bother to remove the injection to empty the fuel there, as it would just get pumped out as soon as I started the car again. I forgot to mention that the pit beneath is actually quite warm, so I removed the hoodie I was wearing, revealing the pony shirt I was wearing beneath it.

Yeah, I'm a brony. So what? I like the show and let's leave it at that, alright? Good. TwilightSparkleisbestpony. The dude smiled when he saw the shirt I was wearing, oh goodie... Another brony, how wonderful. Don't get me wrong, I don't mind being with other bronies, but some of them can be a little annoying when they're cramping your personal space the entire time. That's why I avoid meet-ups and such. I like to keep my brony interactions to the internet, but I meet bronies in real life from time to time too. Bro-hooves all around and stuff like that. Jolly good times, y'know.

But that guy's grin was sadistic. God damn, a man looking like that and smiling in that manner almost makes me want to scream for an adult to help me. I surpressed my urge to run and never look back as I climbed up from the pit. ''The tank's been drained, I just have to fill it up with some fuel and you're good to go.'' I shuddered as I walked into the back and picked up a can of petrol. It wasn't that much in it, but it would be sufficent.

''Good.'' The man finally spoke. His accent was like a mix of Scandinavian accents with a little German edge, sprinkled with a dash of Finnish. I raised an eyebrow, but ignored it as I filled the tank with what was left of the petrol. ''Tell me son,'' He started walking toward me, and I shifted my eyes to him and back to the car. ''Have you ever dreamed of going to the land of the ponies you adore?'' His eye narrowed.

The first thought to hit my brain was the endless amounts of bad fanfics stemmed just from that idea. 'Oh boohoo my life sucks, I'll kill myself and somehow get to Equestria, where I fulfill my own weird dreams of boinking one of the mane 6, whilst defeating some kind of ancient evil, preferably the Nightmare or Discord!'. I think I just recited the entire plot line of about half of them all, if not more. Way to be original and think outside the box, brony fandom... I looked up to see the guy still standing there with that freaky grin of his. It's starting to unnerve me quite a bit, actually.

''Well?'' He asked impatiently. I groaned and pinched the bridge of my nose. This was starting to become kind of aggravating... But maybe I should play along for a while, entertain the customer and all that jazz. I screwed back the cap to the tank and stood up and stretched my back. Better get this over with before it's too late.

''Well...'' I pondered while stroking my chin. ''If I ever managed to get there, I would likely be overcome with boredom pretty quickly. I need some action and excitement. I wouldn't want to be a pony, as that would be insanely cliché.'' The more I acted, the more I put some actual thought behind my reasoning. ''I'd rather go to the bordering lands of Equestria, like that map that's on Walmart illustrates. The Badlands would be pretty cool to visit, I'd rather go there first, actually.'' I shrugged and looked over to the man, who just nodded. He was obviously deep in thought with something.

''What would you want to be, if not a pony?'' He asked while cracking his knuckles. He can't be serious... Is he a mental patient who escaped from the ward? Yeah, I'm pretty sure I don't like where this is going... Wherever this is going...

''I... I'unno, something unusual. S-s-something that ha-haven't been used b-before, as I want to k-keep things fresh...'' I presume I didn't mention that when I become nervous, I stutter. I didn't really score any points when I asked a girl out with my stuttering problem. Needless to say, I was neglected and rightfully so.

''Let us do this then.'' He charged towards me, and I sidestepped away from him while screaming like a little gi- I mean, shouting obscenities like a manly man, of course! Heh... Heh... I grabbed a sledgehammer and prepared to swing it toward the psycho, but just before I could do it, he grabbed me by my neck in a choke-hold. He could strangle me without issues with just one hand, and that's actually pretty impressive. His hand was huge.

I was wheezing for air as he lifted me. Damn, that dude was strong... I felt his grip only tighten even more by every passing second. 'Kay, now I started panicking. I tried kicking him, but it was no use. He held me by an arm's length away from him, and he moved me to hang over the pit. I felt tears in the corners of my eyes.

I was going to get murdered by a black metal pimp who loves ponies. Not a proud moment, to be honest. I honestly thought that I would be killed by being careless, or just by some disease when I'm old. Way to exceed all expectations, me...

I couldn't breathe or move at all now. I allowed my arms to hang limply to my sides, but his grip was still tightening. I clenched my eyes shut, awaiting the end.

Snap!

All the feelings in my body vanished, and I couldn't feel anything. My vision faded as I crumpled to the floor down in the pit. Fuck my life...

The first thing to hit my senses was a distinctive smell of sulphur. I wrinkled my nose in disgust and rolled over. This wasn't a nice way of waking up after... After... Wait.

Sweet Mother of Morgan Freeman, that son of a bitch killed me! But wait, if he killed me, shouldn't I be dead right now? Unless I'm in hell... I cracked my eyes open, just to cringe because of the light. I groaned, but it sounded more like a deep growl of some sort... Well shit, I don't think this is a good sign. Or I could just have gotten one hell of a cold. I presume you can guess which one I hope it is...

''About time you woke up.'' That voice... I opened my eyes to see none other than the black metal pimp sitting on the other side of the cave... wall? So I'm in a cave? Oh well, I could get used to it once I get a hold of the situation unfolding.

''You...'' I growled, and it was an actual growl. Damn, this must be the coldest cold in the history of colds. Is there even such a thing? Oh right, I was doing something... ''What did you do to me?'' I attempted to stand up, but the closest thing I got to standing was a weird hunching posture. I was bracing myself with my arms; they were really skinny and looked like they wouldn't actually be able to support me. But the claws on the hands... Dayum. They looked like knives, and they were if I'd guess about 15, maybe 20 centimeters long each. I had three long claws, and one claw which looked like a thumb on both of my hands.

''I just brought you where you wanted to be, child.'' He shrugged and looked up to me with that same sadistic grin as before. ''It was what you wanted, wasn't it?'' By the tone he said that, I could tell right away that it was a rhetorical question and didn't bother to answer him. ''And to answer your question of what you are; look over there.'' He pointed toward a small puddle of water in the far side of the cave.

I walked over to it with this peculiar new style of walking, it took a while to get there but when I looked down at the reflection, my jaw dropped and revealed the rows teeth inside.

I looked like a big, fuzzy... Human-looking-thing with a hunchback. Damn I was ugly. Two teeth on my jaw stuck out slightly, revealing them even when my mouth was closed. My eyes were red, and I mean like, glowing red. I was a sight to behold, alright... ''What the hell am I?'' I squinted.

''You're a Callicantzaros.'' He said matter-of-factly.

''A what?'' I stuck out my tongue, just to see a long, snakelike thing loll out. I shuddered and withdrew it. That thing was gross.

''Callicantzaros. A vampire. I would suggest that you keep out of the sun's rays.'' Wait, vampire? He better damn well hope that I don't sparkle, or else...

''I hate you. So much.'' I deadpanned and turned away from him, just to see him standing right in front of me again. I jumped back. How the hell did he do that? ''What do you want from me?'' I growled. That asshole killed me, brought me to what could be what's equivalent of hell in a world of colorful ponies, turned me into a vampire and is now blocking me from going anywhere. Oh no, I'm not pissed at all... Really. Totally not angry.

''Oh, you're just my pawn in a little game.'' He said mysteriously. I figured out that I wouldn't get an answer from him, so I just huffed and looked away from him. ''Go to Equestria, you'll maybe find some answers there.'' He added with a roll of his hand. I really, really, really don't like this guy. I mean, seriously?! He wants me to do shit for him, when he killed me? Jesus H. Tap-dancing Christ on a cracker, what kind of prank was this?

Whatever... To Equestria to find answers, eh... Yay, ponies. Maybe they'll help me? I bet they're helpful and won't judge me for looking like a donkey's behind. Well, better get to it then.

''Sure, whatever...'' I groaned as I walked to the mouth of the cave. ''...Ass.''

A/N: Pre-read by Io and frieD195, edited by frieD195. Don't expect this to update very often, as this is a side-thing to my other projects. I wrote this for shits and giggles. Non-canon story to the universe so I can play out my thing.

Jazz...claws?

A/N: Pre-read by Io and frieD195, edited by the latter.

It was nightfall when I left the cave, as the sun had just set over the horizon and the moon was slowly creeping across the sky. I had noticed that even when it was so dark, my eyesight was still pretty good, probably even better. I was walking, well... Trying to walk as fast as I could with this new body. I was able to walk for a while, then I'd trip on my arms and faceplant. That had happen Two ti- Whoa SHI-..

*THUMP*

...Make that three times. I groaned and rubbed my sore nose with the palm of my hand. I cursed as I pushed myself back up with my arms. Yep, I hate this body... I started walking forward again to where he had told me to go. The land around me was actually pretty... Bad, at least I got to know why they called it the Badlands. The earth was scorched, blackened and rocky from place to place. I saw a few burned trees in the distance. I hadn't seen or heard from anything living so far, except for a pair of crows who were following me. This place wasn't exactly the friendliest place on the planet when there was practically no life around. It had almost like a Fallout-esque feel to it. And you know a really good thing about Fallout?

The music.

I started whistling. Well, I could still whistle, so that's a good thing, right? ''I got spurs, that jingle jangle jingle, as I go, ridin' merrily along~'' I suddenly felt like dancing a bit, but I realize how stupid that would look when a tall, furry thing starts dancing when walking to a land of colorful ponies. Heh, that sounds something someone on LSD or something would see and freak out. ''And they sing, Oh, ain't you glad you're single'' I whistled for a bit. ''And that song ain't so very far from wrong~''

Gotta love some jazz when you're walking through an abandoned wasteland. I walked at a brisk pace, seems like I finally got the walking bit down... I was still quite a bit away from any kind of civilization. Suddenly, I got the feeling like I was really thirsty. I mean, thirsty like your throat is burning because it's so dry. I also heard my stomach grumble. That's when it hit me; I'm a vampire and I probably need living hosts to make it... Well, isn't that just grand? I groaned, how the hell am I supposed to find any source of blood where I am right now? ''Well shit.'' I mused aloud. Hooray for dying before getting to the ponies... I heard something that sounded like a long, outdrawn howl in the distance.

A low, throaty growl came from what I presumed to be me. I didn't do it, so it must have been instincts. A snarl came after that and before I could react, it felt like I was pushed away from the controls of myself and was placed in the backseat. Point is, I started running forward in an impressive speed without me actually doing anything, but I still felt the strain in my muscles. So yeah, predatory instincts... It was actually pretty pleasant, but scary at the same time when I couldn't control myself. I thought about it for a minute. If I was in, let's say uh... Ponyville. Yeah, if I was in Ponyville and got thirsty, would the instincts kick in and make me kill a pony for their blood? I sure as hell don't hope so... Unless it's Blueblood. That dick had it coming sooner or later... Or maybe some other bitchy pony.

Seems like when I spaced out, my body had reached its destination and was now hiding behind a rock. I resumed control of myself and peeked around the rock. What I saw there was two diamond dogs standing next to a hole of some kind. I guessed that it was diamond dogs, as they looked kinda like the ones in the episode. I presumed that the hole lead down to their den, and those two were the guards. The taller dog smacked the other dog, making it yelp and stop howling. That dog must have one hell of a set of lungs. ''Stop howling!'' The bigger dog grunted. The smaller one complied without saying anything. The bigger one appeared to have some weird vials with stuff in them. I wonder what it was, though...

Meh, maybe I'll find out later. For now I had to find a way for me to get some of their blood... Jolly good times, finding two dirty mutts and thinking of a way to get their blood for nourishment. Yep, totally having a great time... I decided to try and surprise them. I tried sticking my claws into the stone I was hiding behind. They glided inside like as if the stone was made of butter. I smirked and used the claws to climb onto the rock. When I was standing on top of it, the dogs didn't even notice my presence. I took a deep breath and jumped toward them.

When I landed, I crouched down and looked slowly up at them. Oh man, you should have seen their faces... The smaller one looked like it had just laid a fat one just then and there. The big one just looked at me with its jaw hanging. I stood up and stretched to my full height slowly. I didn't even have to brace myself with my arms when I was standing still. I raised my arms and grinned. Without a warning, I started flailing my arms and screamed.

I screamed.

The dogs screamed.

We all screamed in unison.

...And the small one shat itself again.

I lunged forward blindly toward the small dog and slashed my claws over it. I didn't have any experience using them like weapons. I closed my eyes and followed through with the slash, I presume I hit my mark as I heard a pained yelp and a splattering sound. I turned my head away from where the sound had come from before I opened my eyes again. I looked down at my left hand to see that the claws were dripping with what I had come there for. I lolled out my snake-tongue and licked the claws clean. It didn't taste good, nor did it taste bad. It was... Neutral. I felt some strength return to me as I turned to the other dog with a sadistic smirk.

The dog started backing away from me slowly, before it made a mad dash to the hole. I guess it didn't expect me to react just as quickly, or maybe even quicker than what it did... However, I managed to tackle it and pin it down. I liked the black vest it was wearing and the neat little vials, so I made a note not to bloody it down that bad. And yeah, I won't go into detail about what happened. It was messy though, believe me.

I winced as I pulled the vest away from the remains of the dog. It was relatively clean, just a few spots here and there. No problem. I tinkered with the vials containing the weird liquids, then glanced over to the smaller dog. A grin embraced my features. Idea! I removed two of the bigger vials of the vest and drained the contents onto the ground. I made sure not to mix them, so I dumped them at two different spots. Both of them sizzled and smoked when they hit the ground, but I ignored it and scurried over to the smaller dog. I continued to drain some of the blood into the two vials and place them back on the vest.

I grabbed the spear from the smaller dog, just in case I wouldn't be able to use my claws. Before I left them though, I couldn't resist but to do the one thing that's important in any game; looting your kill. All I got was something that looked like some kind of harness for the spear from the smaller dog and a sapphire. I got a diamond and three rubies from the bigger dog as I searched through the pockets on the vest. The gems were a decent size and in a pretty good condition as well. They must be careful with the gems they haul...

The vest was just a little too small for me, but I wasn't really bothered by it as the hunch on my back ripped through as soon as I put it on me. I decided to stomp on the throttle and get away from the den as fast as I could. Seems when after the instincts kicked in, I was able to walk and run much easier than before. I could get a decent bit away from the den until I heard a pissed off roar from where the direction I had come from. I laughed to myself as I tore away into the night again. Good thing that I continued in the direction the black metal pimp had directed me. I could still hear the calls from two crows following me.

I had been running and walking in intervals for a couple of hours now, never wavering too much in a direction other than the one he showed me. I had also been able to think through some stuff, like what I should do when I run out of blood in the vials I have. The answer was pretty easy; I would just have to hunt for some animal or other creature. Also, when I eventually get to Equestria, I will stack up on vials and try to find some kind of big game to drain. Pretty solid plan, eh? Just wait until I set it on motion...

I turned my head to the horizon to see the moon dipping behind it. My eyes widened. Vampire + Sun = Kentucky Fried Vamp, or sparkly vamp. If it's the latter, I will personally find the bastard who sent me here and strangle him. I looked around in panic for any kind of shelter, and to my own great relief, I saw what looked like the mouth of a cave. I stepped on it and I was able to dart through the mouth just as the first rays of the sun came over the distant horizon. I panted and settled to the wall a bit inside the cave, so I was sure that the sun's rays wouldn't be able to reach me at all. I sighed and placed the harness with the spear next to me and closed my eyes. What a da-er... Night.

When I opened my eyes again, I saw none other than my 'best friend' in Equestria, the one and only black metal pimp, ladies and gents! He just looked at me with a small smile. It wasn't actually sadistic or creepy... What's going on? Is a stallion with a snapback cap going to run inside the cave and get in my face, screaming that I just got punk'd?

''You survived your first night of many.'' The smile was still there. Okay, who set this up and how can I drain every single drop of their blood? ''Good.'' He leaned back to the cave wall with his hands behind his head. ''You have proven that you have what it takes to make it in this game. If you keep it up, of course...'' He grinned. There it is! The sadistic grin is back! Can't say I missed it but uh... I can recognize him better when he has it...

''Yeah, I'm gonna focus on surviving this, then I'll see if I will be able to join that little game you won't shut up about...'' I growled. He just regarded me with a raised eyebrow. I snorted and turned away from him. It's gonna take a while for him to get on a level on which I will somewhat accept him. ''Why are you here anyway? Don't you have someone else to take to this world and ridicule?'' I spat with narrowed eyes. He looked away from me and rolled his eyes.

''So far I only have one pawn, and that pawn is you, Callicantzaros. I came here because, believe it or not, I have some advice for you.'' I frowned. I dunno if his advice is something to trust... But I'll be ears for this one. I leaned back to my side of the cave and sighed.

''Go ahead, shoot.'' I added with a roll of my right hand.

He took a breath before he continued. ''I saw through my informants that you ate for the first time today. You will only have to feed once every week. Less than half of the quantity you consumed today is necessary for you to survive. One of those vials will keep you going for a week, so you have two weeks-worth of blood there. You will regain your strength after feeding, of course, but it will decrease gradually night by night. If you overexert yourself, your energy will drain much faster, causing you to need more blood to stay alive.'' He rubbed the back of his neck before he scratched his beard. ''Might want to consider conserving some of the energy you have.'' I nodded and looked out through the mouth of the cave. The light didn't burn me, so I assumed that it was direct light I couldn't handle.

And about his advice... It was actually pretty sound advice. ''Thanks.'' I smiled, he just gave me a stern nod. Wait... Did he say something about informants? I leaned forward and flashed him a toothy grin. ''Now, what did you say about some informants..?'' He continued to scratch his beard nonchalantly before he looked at me with a bored expression.

''Huginn and Muninn, of course.'' As he said that, two crows flew through the mouth of the cave and landed on either side of his shoulders. My jaw dropped. Everything was so clear now... The eyepatch... The beard...

''You... You're Odin.'' He smiled and nodded as I stuttered those words.

''It took you a while to get it. I must leave you now, enjoy your day... By the way, this cave wasn't uninhabited.'' As soon as he said that, he disappeared in a wisp of black smoke. I coughed from it and froze. Wait... Not uninhabited..?

I heard a low growl coming from deeper inside the cave, and what I saw made me feel my heart just in the back of my throat. It had red scales and a yellow stomach. Big red and yellow wings and piercing black and yellow eyes. But when I saw its fangs, I felt my manliness being vacuumed straight out of me. There, standing in the cave was a dragon who, was about two, maybe three heads taller than me. It roared and I screamed.

Oh fuck me.

Who Let The Dogs Out? No Seriously...

A/N: Pre-read and edited by BeauZoe. Pre-read for the game by Io. Fun fact, this was finished several days ago but I had some problems with editors, which is obviously solved now.

The dragon stomped toward me and slowly spread its wings. I squeaked and glanced over my shoulder to see that I was about to step out into the sunlight. I had only three options to consider at that very moment.

One: I could allow myself to back out of the cave, where I would suffer the horribly painful death of me being fried.

Two: I could attempt to fight back against the dragon that was rapidly approaching me. Knowing me, that would mean that I would suffer the horribly painful death of me being slaughtered mercilessly.

Three: I could try and talk my way out of this. Assuming that this dragon spoke as well as the other dragons that had been on the show did, that might mean that I would be able to make a deal with the huge reptile and hopefully avoid the horribly painful death.

...Yeah, I'm gonna go with option three on this one, as I really don't feel like dying anytime soon. The dragon continued to advance on me, but I took a deep breath and stepped forward, steeling myself for what was about to happen. I took another deep breath then spoke up. “Excuse me, but... But I-I really c-can't go out r-right n-now...” Oh God dammit, stuttering...

“And why is that, freak?” It spoke up in a strong, feminine voice. It must be a dragon-lady or a dragon-guy with busted nuts. I'm gonna go out on a limb and presume it's the first one. “Why should I allow a monster like you to roam my cave?” She didn't ask, she demanded an answer from me. I bet she's a strong red dragonness who don't need no drake. I had to stop myself from laughing at the incredibly lame joke and collected myself.

“I kindly ask you to not refer to me as a freak or a monster, my good lady. I'm a... A...”

'Callicantzaros.'

“Oh yeah, that was it...” I cleared my throat. “I'm not a freak or a monster; I'm a callicantzaros, thank you very much.” I owe you one, strange voice in my head for reminding me of that.

'Fine.'

“And the reason why I can't leave the cave is because I'm nocturnal. The sun's rays would kill me slowly, causing me to burst into flames and die horribly. And I really don't feel like becoming a nice little pile of ashes today. Or... Any other day for that matter...” The dragon regarded me with a raised eyebrow and visibly relaxed, until it noticed the vials on the vest and narrowed its eyes again.

“What's in the vials you have there?!” She demanded. Ah, so she's demanding and probably wants to know everything... No wonder why she's on her own in this cave. She'd probably kick me out head-first if she got to know that blood was in the vials... I had to come up with something, fast...

...

'…'

...

Gee... That worked out just dandy... Quick, brain! Do your magic! “Um... It's uh... Uh... Tomato... juice?” Oh, and you wonder why I don't listen to you, you stupid glob of... whatever brains are made of. I grinned sheepishly, but accidentally flashed my fangs in the process. Stupid teeth... Stupid body... Stupid everything... I took a deep breath and pokerfaced. My eyes darted from side to side as a small, nervous smile grew on my face. Uh... No wonder why I never win at poker...

“You're not a very good liar.” She stated and her wings settled to her sides again. “I can tell that you have blood in those vials from the smell and with fangs like those I can see that you must be a predator. So, a predator who is carrying blood... I presume that you are a vampire?” She finished with a smirk.

Well fuck you too, dragon-lady...

“Fine...” I sighed and slumped my shoulders. “I can't lie for shit, okay?” I pouted. Wait... How can I still pout? Oh well, that existential crisis will have to wait for later.

“I figured.” She laughed, but tensed immediately as I took a step further into the cave. “Stay where you are...” She snarled. I lifted my clawed hands and froze.

“Alright, you win... I am a vampire...” She growled and narrowed her eyes. “Woah! Simmer down, Sally! I was about to tell you that I don't have to drink blood every day to survive! I think it was once every week or so, so that's why I have these vials with me... Listen, I'm not gonna hurt you or anything, I just need a safe place to spend the day so I can continue on my way tonight. I won't bother you and I will stay just out of the sun's reach... I promise.”

She stared at me in silence for a couple of seconds, but it felt like several antagonizing minutes for me. She finally sighed and lay down, never looking away from me. “Fine... But I will stay here, and you will not walk past me. Are we clear?” She puffed a small cloud of smoke through her nostrils. I nodded at an impressive speed and made myself comfortable against the cave wall.

I yawned and closed my eyes, and it didn't take long until I fell asleep.

I don't know for how many hours I was sleeping, but when I woke up I looked out to see that the sun was setting. I stretched my back popping it like a gunshot. God that felt awesome. I gathered my things and turned to say my goodbyes to the dragon, but only snores greeted my hearing. I didn't even have to look her way to know that she was asleep due to the sounds coming from her.

I couldn't fight off my curiosity of what she was hiding from me, so I took a few cautious steps toward her and peeked over her side to see a decently sized egg. No wonder why she was so protective... I shrugged and resumed my hunched posture as I ventured out of the cave and broke out into a sprint.

I sprinted for a good ten minutes until I heard a panicked roar from the direction I had come from. I whipped around and stood to my full height. I saw a big red thing which I presumed to be the dragon, along with a few smaller black spots around her. I snarled and set back toward the cave. I owed her a favor, and now was the best time to repay it.

It took me barely six minutes to run back to the cave, so I presume I used up some extra energy this time. I leaped up to the plateau above the cave, unnoticed. I scouted the area below me to know what I was up against.

There were a total of fourteen diamond dogs and all of them, except for one were holding the dragon down with several ropes tied to her wings, snout, neck and arms. Her tail was still inside the cave, so she couldn't smack away the dogs with it. The dog who wasn't holding any ropes was a big motherf-.. Well, you know the rest... He was easily my height when I was standing upright, and he had much more muscles than I. He also had two neat swords on his back and an evil grin on his face.

“You will make nice slave, she-dragon...” He leaned over her snout with a leer. “...and your egg will have a big price on market...” She started thrashing like never before and I even think I saw tears run down her face.

Oh fudge it... Here we go...

I roared and jumped down to where some of the dogs who were holding the rope to her snout were and slashed wildly with my claws. I was met with a few surprised yelps, whines and gurgling.

“Boo!” I grinned, intentionally bearing my fangs. The rest of the dogs holding the ropes released them in surprise at my appearance, momentarily forgetting the dragon they were restraining. The leader of the dogs barked at his subordinates to grab the ropes again , but they were too late. She broke free and swept her right arm in a wide arc, taking out almost half of the dogs with one single hit. I held out my arms, prepared to charge at any given moment.

I snarled as I leaped toward the leader. I brought my arms forward to ready an attack, but he pulled one of his swords, sidestepped and slashed my back. A pained yelp escaped me as I hit the ground hard, but I spun around to face him again almost immediately after landing. I readied my stance again and charged.

He swung the sword down again, but I countered by stopping the blade with the claws on my left hand. The alpha dog whipped forward his other sword and smashed the end of the hilt to my stomach. I tried to gasp as the air was slammed out from my lungs from his hit. I tried to recover from the blows, but he gave me a heavy roundhouse kick to my face and with that, I collapsed.

I groaned in agony as he stood by my side and leaned over me to gloat. I couldn't think clearly, so I did the first thing I could think of from my momentarily embarrassing position.

I leaned up slightly and clocked the bastard in the nuts… Claws first.

I have honestly never heard something scream so high-pitched in my entire life. He dropped the swords and tried his best to nurse the missing parts. That's one dog who won't be playing with balls anymore... I heard a chorus of pained sounds and looked to see the dogs who hadn't been killed yet wince and whine. The alpha dropped to his knees and puked. I decided to end his misery as soon as possible, so with a quick slash, he collapsed and didn't say anymore. Well, except for a few incoherent gurgling sounds.

I turned to the remaining dogs and grinned. “So... Who's next for neutering?” A cloud of dust kicked up and when it settled, all of the dogs who were there seconds ago were now nowhere to be seen. When I was sure that they were gone, I slumped my shoulders and whined. The wound on my back wasn't exactly comfortable. “Jesus Christ that hurts...”

I turned my head to the dragonness to see that she was staring at me with wide eyes and her mouth slightly open. “You... You saved me… and my egg...” She worked her mouth for a few seconds to try and come up with something else to say, but closed it soon after.

“Well... Now we're even...” I laid the palm of my right hand on my back where I had been cut and brought it forward. The liquid had the same feel and also the same smell as blood, but it was black... Almost like used oil. I shrugged it off as being one of the wonderful features this body I have... “Say... Do you know how to stop me from bleeding? I kinda need it... Bad...” I felt as weak as yesterday before I fed, so I reached for one of the vials, which through some kind of miracle, hadn't been shattered. I sloshed around the thick red liquid for a second, then popped the cap off it and downed the entire thing.

She nodded wordlessly and walked back into the cave, while ushering me to follow her inside. I heard a gasp before me and raced after her, claws at the ready. There wasn't a dog in there, but her egg...

It was hatching.

“When dragon eggs are about to hatch, they emit a powerful magic which can be sensed by anyone near them... That must be why the dogs were here... They wanted to kidnap my child and sell him to Equestria to the highest bidder... And they would have made me a slave... I-…” She looked straight into my eyes. “Thank you...”

“No problem... Just a question...” I scratched my neck with the palm of my left hand. “What's your name? It feels kinda weird not knowing your name after helping you like this...”

“...Ronya...” She said softly. “My name is Ronya.”

I nodded and turned my attention to the egg again. “How do you know if it's a boy or a girl?” I asked carefully. She pointed at the spots on the egg in a certain pattern.

“The pattern on the egg shows the gender of the dragon inside.” I nodded once again and turned my head to the entrance of the cave. The sun had set completely now, as all I could see on the horizon was a orange hue which was decreasing in size.

The egg shuddered and a sizeable crack appeared on the top of it. From the corner of my eye, I saw her tense up and hold her breath. Another crack followed, and the top of the egg came loose. And...

D'aaaaaw!

Baby dragons are adorable.

Release the Monster (Visions of The Future)

This chapter is a bit spoilery of what happens to my chesspiece a few years after coming to Equestria. Avoid reading it if you want to keep it spoiler-free!

I growled and ventured deeper inside the cave. They can't see me... They don't know I'm here! Heh... No one will find me here, I'm all alone. Yes, alone... I stopped momentarily, but growled once again and continued on my way.

They expect me to fight for them... They want me to get myself killed to save themselves and their companions... Especially that griffin, he wants me t-.. No! No more! They can't find me, no one can... All alone, no one here...

My right eye twitched as I settled toward the nearest cave wall, carefully eyeing my surroundings. No sun... Sunlight hurts, the sun is bad... Celestia moves the sun... Celestia is bad, Celestia wants to hurt me... I sighed. I lost track of long I've been in Equestria a long time ago, but I have a feeling it was a few years ago I came here.

But...

I sighed once again as I brushed one of my claws along one of the many scars scattered across my body. The most prominent scar was the big one on my right cheek. Most of my scars were injuries from battling everything from ponies, diamond dogs and zebras. I just... I just needed to survive. They won't understand me... No, they can't understand what it's like! All they've done is trying to order me around! No more! Still alone... No one is here... I'm still alone...

Always alone...

Blood is all I need, I don't need anything else! It's all I need to survive, heh heh... I kill to get what I need, I am a killer... A murderer... No! I have to, I have my reasons to do it! I don't want to die... I don't want to die... My right eye twitched.

”No one can be trusted, they all want me to fight and die, no one can be trusted...” I slumped against the cave wall and started rocking back and forth.

Everyone is against me...

Everyone is my enemy...

Anyone can be my prey...

Everyone must...

...Die...

Author's Note

The next chapter is finished, by the way. This was something I originally planned to release with the next chapter, but I decided to post it now to keep everyone from waiting. Next chapter is up as soon as it's edited!

Am I Cool Yet?

Ronya looked at me funny as I squeaked when the baby dragon started gurgling happily. What? I couldn't help it! It's just too damn cute! It hatched about two hours ago, but I was still acting like I had just seen it for the first time. Its colours were a couple of shades darker than Ronya's, but she explained that his scales will become brighter as he grows up.

I had decided to stay the rest of the night and the next day in the cave as well, as I didn't want to leave in the middle of the night. Because the sun could start rising when I'm far away from any kind of shelter.

Besides, my movements were restrained due to the makeshift bandages Ronya strapped onto my back, meaning that I wouldn't be able to run as fast as before.

”Hey...” Ronya whispered to me. I looked up to see that the baby had fallen asleep in her arms while sucking its tail. I squee'd. She rolled her eyes. ”I... I never asked you for your name, I think...” I shook my head and leaned back to the cave wall I was sitting next to.

...Wait

I never thought of a name... My old name would be weird to use here, but I couldn't choose a pony name. Wait a minute... Odin who brought me here was from the norse mythology, so maybe I'd use a nordic name? Ragnarok... Nah, too Gary Stu-ish... None of that here... Garmr? Yeah I like the sound of that, actually!

”Name's Garmr.” I closed my eyes and smirked. That was a nice name. Thank you, extra course in norse mythology...

”Listen Garmr... There's... a draconic tradition that the father of a drake names him... His father died a few weeks back, so he can't name him... I want to follow the tradition to some extents, so... Will you maybe... Name him?” My eyes shot open.

”You want me to what?” I whispered harshly.

”Please, Garmr...” She held the baby dragon closer to her. ”It's just a tradition I want to keep alive...” She looked at me with puppy-dog eyes. Huh, how about that... A dragon can do the puppy-dog look. Let's take all of this brain and put it somewhere else!

I sighed. ”Oh, fine...” I tapped a claw to my chin, only to realize what I was doing with the sharp appendage and stopped doing it. ”Uh, how about Sarkany?” I looked to Ronya, who looked down at the sleeping drake in her arms, then up to me with a small smile. ”It's the name of a legendary dragon from another country where I come from.”

”It's perfect...” She assured me and turned her attention back to Sarkany, who was kicking in his sleep. ”Thank you, Garmr.”

I nodded and settled down to rest again. ”Don't you think those diamond dogs will return here later and try again?”

”You killed their alpha male. They have to be unorganized and confused until a new alpha is chosen. But since you killed the alpha, you are currently the alpha of the pack, if you think like they do.” She started rocking Sarkany gently from side to side, causing him to yawn and roll over.

”But I'm a terrible leader! I can't organize at all, and I'm worthless at thinking out strategies!” I exclaimed, but snapped my mouth shut as Ronya glared at me for raising my voice. I sighed and facepalmed. ”Point is, I can't lead a bunch of dogs when I have to head for Equestria, and I can only travel at night...”

”I may not know why you have to go there, but tomorrow night I can fly you as far as I can. That way you can get there faster. If I can, I would also help you cross the sea dividing Equestria from the rest of the world.” She turned her head to the mouth of the cave. ”It's the least I can do after you saved me...”

”Thanks... I don't even know how long it is to Equestria from here...”

”It's about a two day's flight from here if I fly at my top speed the entire time. I won't do that, though as it would be an unneccesary strain and dangerous if we can only fly at night.” She concluded with a yawn.

”Alright.” I nodded and stood up. ”You can go ahead and rest, I'll stay on watch while you sleep.” Ronya yawned again and laid down, still holding Sarkany close to her side. It didn't take long for snores to come from her. I turned to the entrance of the cave, rolled my shoulders and took off to investigate the surrounding area.

I knew that the dogs must have come from a burrow close to the cave, as I doubt that they would walk around in plain view by their own free will. I high-fived myself as my suspicions were confirmed as I noticed a rough part of dirt with numerous paw-prints surrounding it. They must have filled it when they escaped... I sniffed the air around me to sense a strong trace coming from the east. I decided to ignore it though and decided to head back to the cave as I could see the horizon becoming brighter.

I sprinted back, only to wince at every step from the injuries suffered from fighting the alpha diamond dog. If I had issues with one of them, I didn't want to think of how I would fare against another alpha... I feel like I just got lucky and gave a low-blow. I guess I have to learn this body better so I can fight in a more established style instead of random slashing...

So, in my boredom, I decided to think about just that. From what I have experienced so far with this body is that I am fast, but I run out of steam quickly if I run for too long... I can also jump a fair bit up in the air, but that drains pretty much out of me. I also know that I can scare a few with this ugly face... I lifted my right hand to my mouth and felt the protruding fangs. With a sigh, I moved away my hand and continued walking back to the cave.

The claws, even when they were mostly in the way were also pretty useful. They could also be used to scare away others if they decided to come too close. So all in all, I have the speed and agility if I have to escape or chase something, and a pretty solid defense if I have to retreat. I just have to figure out a way to use it all to my advantage... I shrugged and increased my speed even further as I made a mad dash toward the mouth of the cave.

Once inside, I looked back to see the first rays of the sun creep over the distant horizon. I wonder what my family is doing... My dad would be the one finding my body in the pit... I... I feel like I abandoned them when I came here... Without thinking, I took a few steps forward out from the cave and stopped. I closed my eyes and stood to my full height.

Then all hell broke loose.

I roared in agony as the sunrays made contact with my body. It felt like every nerve in my body was on fire. All of the sensations vanished as a shade enclosed around me. I felt something leathery and cold wrap around me in a protective embrace. My eyes rolled back and I groaned, then fell unconscious.

I have no idea of how long I was out, but when I did wake up I was face-to-face with a pissed dragoness. ”What were you thinking?!” She shouted. I winced from the volume of her outburst. ”You almost got yourself killed out there!”

”I know...” I rolled around onto my stomach, then pushed myself up with my forearms. ”Sorry about that, I got lost in a thought and acted without thinking... Won't happen again.” I sighed.

”Now, what would you be thinking about that would be worth getting yourself killed for?” She said sarcastically. I had to fight back a sudden urge to lunge at her and make a dragon jigsaw puzzle. I snarled.

”My family back home... They think I'm dead when I came here. I didn't even choose to come here! I was thrown here by a god with too much time to spare!” I didn't even notice I was shouting at the end of the sentence, so now I was standing there in an awkward silence. Sarkany whined uncomfortably.

”A... god sent you here..?” Sonya raised an eyebrow. ”How, and which God was it?”

Ooooh crap. This is gonna be hard to explain... ”I guess I should start with the beginning...” I rubbed the back of my head. ”The god who sent me here is Odin, the ruler of Asgard. Now, he sounds like a swell guy, but he's actually a bit of a dick once you start talking to him...” I continued to tell her of how I was sent here. I had to stop and explain what a car was, though. Once I had told her my story, I looked up at her. ”And well, that's how I'm here now...”

She looked like she was about to burst out laughing at any given moment. She giggled. ”So, you're telling me you're from a completely different world altogether?” I nodded and she snortled. ”Likely story...” She shook her head.

”So, if I would have been born like this, don't you think it would be more than just one callicantzaros prancing around?” I stood up and stalked closer toward her. ”If I was born like this, don't you think I would be a bit more practiced in fighting?” I snarled. ”Tell me just one reason why I would lie to you about this? Have I lied to you ever since I met you?” A low growl rose from my throat.

Sarkany whimpered and turned away from me. Ronya glared at me, but looked away as he realized that I was right. ”You're right... I may not believe it entirely, but I should have been a bit more open-minded about it all...” She sighed. ”Sorry, but I just don't feel like it's true...” She looked away from me.

A sudden flicker next to her bought my attention, and Odin materialized next to her with his arms crossed and a grim scowl on his face. His one eye glared straight through my entire being and I shuddered. ”I wouldn't talk about that, if I was you... ” Odin hissed. ”I manipulated her mind into doubting everything you said about your world. You should keep that single truth away from her.”

I opened my mouth to reply, but he silenced me with a raised hand. ”You can answer me with your thoughts so you don't talk to thin air. She can't see or hear me. I snapped my mouth shut and nodded once.

”Why?”

”Because some things must be kept as a secret to ensure that you will be regarded as somewhat sane in some regard.” He smirked. 'Smartass' I rolled my eyes. ”I heard that.” He remarked casually. ”But in all honesty, it would be better if you keep some things about yourself hidden. Some things can be turned against you quite easily, such as your feelings of you abandoning your family.”

”Yeah, whatever... I get it, I'll have to lie about my past so it doesn't come back and bite me in the ass...”

”In layman's terms, yes.” He nodded. ”But remember one thing, callicantzaros...” His eyes narrowed, and I gulped. ”You don't sparkle in the sun.” He grinned, then vanished into thin air.

”Asshole...” I muttered quietly.

”What?” Ronya arched an eyebrow at me. ”Did you say something?”

”Uh... No, I didn't...” Pokerface'd. ”Listen, I have to try and get some sleep... I glanced out through the mouth of the cave to see that the sun had almost reached its peak in the sky. I trekked slowly further into the cave, then laid down and faced the cave wall. I tried to gather my scattered thoughts. Some of them were about how I would learn to fight better, when some of them were about my family. I sighed and closed my eyes. A sudden pressure to my right side forced my eyes open.

Sarkany had laid himself next to me and was curled up into a tiny adorable ball of scales. I smiled, then closed my eyes again. I had a pretty low chance at actually getting to Equestria, but all of those concerns could be focused on another da- err...night. Within a few minutes, I was asleep.

Author's Note

Unedited, because I'm a lazy bastard and I'm tired. I feel old and my life sucks (not really but still). WHEEE~