"No, no! I said SLAY the dragon not - Oh, nevermind..."
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"No, no! I said SLAY the dragon not - Oh, nevermind..."
Shining Armor strode through the permanent blizzard that surrounded his home. He wore a set of enchanted goggles that didn’t fog up in the cold and a heavy cloak and scarf. Finally he came to the magical boarder that marked the Crystal Empire. The snow melted off of him and warmth flooded his bones.
He wasn’t home yet, that was in the center of the city. The Crystal Castle was quite distinctive. The tower of black crystal was a more recent addition to the structure…
Shining’s subjects greeted him warmly, he returned the cheerful comments. He passed a statue of a certain baby dragon he was quite fond of, who wasn’t quite a baby anymore. Shining smiled at the memories of his “little brother.” Finally he made it into the warmth of his home, tearing off his clothes. While ponies could wear clothes, most preferred a state of nudity.
He held out the cloak, goggles, and scarf and handed them to thin air. They were taken away. The castle staff were invisible, and spells instead of ponies. The other ruler of the Crystal Empire had managed to persuade Shining to allow this since it saved on housing and food. He’d also joked that it was either this, or he could hire them the best bits of eye-candy in Equestria. That had finally sold Shining.
Speaking of the other ruler, Shining smelled food. Good, mouthwatering home cooking that was even better than his mom’s though he’d die before he said that to her face.
Shining made his way to the kitchen. He laughed silently at what he saw. A tall dark grey stallion with a thick coat was busy dancing in the kitchen, wearing a ridiculously frilly pink apron.
As Sombra, the former Tyrant of this kingdom twirled, Shining caught a glimpse of his husband’s buns under the apron and the words “Kiss me for a cookie” across his chest. When they first met and had battled, Shining wouldn’t have believed you if you’d told him Sombra was a huge dork, and Sombra would still be offended to be called such, but he was. And he was Shining’s dork, which was the best part.
Shining detected an overwhelming amount of garlic in the air. “Sombra, we’re having guests over tonight, remember?”
Sombra turned and gave his husband a fang-filled cheeky grin. “I didn’t think you were planning on smooching Discord, but I won’t judge…”
Shining rolled his eyes. He then groaned. Sombra dissolved into shadow, flowed over, and managed to catch him. “Thanks.”
“Are you all right?!”
“Really, really long week. I’m honestly offended they asked my husband to not accompany me.”
“So am I, but griffons aren’t the most welcoming of creatures, even these days, and I’m … well, me,” Sombra said. “It was for the best.”
Sombra had lost his apron in his rush and Shining could feel Sombra’s sculpted chest pressing into his bare back. Oh, the things he would like to do … but … later.
Sombra pressed his muzzle close to Shining’s ear. “I could magic you into a better mindset…” he whispered lowly.
“I thought you swore off the mind control schtick,” Shining said in dangerous tones.
“Doesn’t mean I’ve forgotten how to do it,” Sombra purred with a smug grin.
A thought crossed Shining’s mind, a thought he hated, but that cropped up when he least wanted it to. “Did – Did you ‘magic’ me into loving you?”
Sombra gripped his wrist and gently turned Shining to look at him, not removing his fingers. A look of concern was on the Umbrum’s face. “I specialize in Dark Magic, Shining, love is anathema to that. Oh, I could have turned you into an obedient little plaything to do with whatever I wanted-” Shining shivered at that thought, though not out of fear. “But love?” Sombra continued. He brought his other hand up and tenderly stroked Shining’s cheek with a small smile. “If anything, you bewitched me, my love. I remember when I first saw you, a tiny little light wielding a sword against my darkness. I thought you were a fool. I’m so happy I was wrong.”
“Yeah, well, I certainly wouldn’t have imagined falling in love with you either. If you’d told me I’d be royalty someday, I’d have laughed in your face. I was happy to just be in the Guard, let alone make Captain.”
Sombra squeezed Shining’s bicep and chuckled. “Well, I won’t complain about what your years in the Guard did for your figure, my hunky marshmallow…”
Shining squeezed Sombra’s pec in return. “Oh, trust me, my King, I’ll let you know just how much I’ve missed you. After our guests leave.”
Sombra pouted. He then chuckled. “I’m not a King anymore, I’ve been demoted to a lowly Prince in my own Kingdom. It’s absolutely worth it.”
Shining grinned and kissed his husband’s snout. “My family is lower-middle class. In Canterlot. I’m not going to complain about my new position…”
“I know I won’t complain about your position tonight,” Sombra said with a wicked grin.
Shining lightly smacked him across the back of the head. “So!” he said, hoping to change topics. “Spaghetti?”
“My brothers-in-law love my spaghetti!” Sombra said proudly.
“Anything you cook is amazing. Seriously, where did you learn?”
“I wasn’t exactly born royalty,” Sombra said gently. “I do know how to cook my own meals and dress myself.” He was staring at the floor. “I … am astonished that my people, who I committed atrocities upon, wanted me for a ruler again. I had a good defender in you, but … sometimes I worry I’ll slip back into what I was.” Sombra’s legs had dissolved into smoke as he spoke.
“Well, then my sister and her friends would probably hand you your ass on a plate,” Shining said. He gently tilted Sombra’s chin up, so the Dark King was looking at him. “Hey. Look at me. What you did in the past? Yeah. That was pretty messed up. When Celestia asked me to befriend you, I thought she was crazy. I hated you! I thought you were physically made of pure evil. You weren’t too thrilled at the thought of becoming friends with me either…” Sombra chuckled at the vast understatement. “But when I got to know you? Which you didn’t make easy for me, by the way,” Shining sighed. “Yeah. You’re an Umbrum, not a Pony. I honestly forget that sometimes. But Sombra? You are a good person now. Our subjects love you, and that is your own doing, because you atoned and then some. You’ve proven yourself as a ruler, and as a person. You’ve given so much back to the Empire and Equestria as a whole. You got me to fall in love with the real you, and as anybody who knows me will tell you, I’m very picky. I don’t worry about you turning back into ‘Old Sombra’ because neither of us would ever let that happen. I love you too much.”
The larger stallion had his arms wrapped around Shining’s back and was holding him like if he let go he might disappear. Shining could feel tears drip onto his shoulder. “Thank you,” Sombra whispered. “I know it’s sappy, but I want to spend as much of my life as I can with you.”
“Uh … how long is the rest of your life? I’m still not sure.”
Sombra chuckled. “Umbrum live longer than ponies, but I’m not exactly Eternal. Best guess, I might outlive you by a century if you die young. The only reason I’m even in the modern age is because time stopped passing for the whole Empire when I banished it, and then Discord brought me back after … that.”
Shining didn’t break the hug, but he realized something important. “Oh. If neither of us are immortal, I guess we should name some heirs at some point.”
Sombra grinned down at his husband. “Why name when we could make? I specialize in more than just Dark Magic, and we’re both in-laws with the embodiment of Chaos. I’m sure you would make a magnificent oven for any royal buns,” he said as he patted Shining’s stomach.
Shining’s jaw dropped. “Why do I have to be the one to get pregnant?!”
“Because your mood swings wouldn’t be as dangerous as mine,” Sombra said matter-of-factly.
Shining thought it over. “Touché,” he finally grumbled. “It’s still a weird thought.”
“Yes. Now come help me plate dinner up before our guests get here.”
Shining plated the pasta and sauce as Sombra readied the toppings. A vegetarian plate with meatless meatballs for Shining, and meat for the other three plates, as Sombra shaved some diamond chips on top of one before he sighed wearily and added hot sauce and whipped cream to the fourth. “That still feels wrong,” he grumbled.
“Discord is … Discord,” Shining said with a chuckle.
“Speak of the Ram, and He will appear!” a voice said ominously. Discord appeared in a flash of blue fire; Spike right next to him.
Shining rolled his eyes. “We all know you aren’t actually Grogar, Discord,” he deadpanned.
“Good thing too, he’s not as fun-loving as I!” the Spirit of Chaos, formerly the Spirit of Chaos and Disharmony, said cheerfully. “Hi Somby! ~” he cooed.
“Hello, Discord.”
“Don’t I get a hug?” Discord pouted.
“You both get hugs,” Sombra said, pulling his brothers-in-law into a bone crushing embrace.
Spike sniffed the air. “Spaghetti!” he cheered. “AWESOME!”
Discord sighed. “I followed your recipe exactly, and he still doesn’t like mine as much,” he huffed. “I mean, it’s not like I don’t add love!”
Sombra shrugged sheepishly. “Shall we dig in?”
The purple blur that streaked to the kitchen was all the answer Spike could give. “Ah! We have a perfectly good dining room!” Sombra snapped.
Spike sighed and held his plate out as it was carried to said dining room, followed by the other three, silverware, and crystal goblets. “Anything to drink?” Sombra asked, playing host well.
“Strawberry milk,” Discord replied. “What?!” he asked when he saw their expressions, “I can change it up sometimes!”
“Sparkling cider, please,” Spike requested politely.
“Hard cider,” Shining said.
Spike shot his BBBFF a concerned look. “Uh … you always taught me, ‘Never play Ogres and Oubliettes drunk, it’ll only end in character death.’”
“I’m not going to be dancing on the table after one cider!” Shining snapped. “I can hold my liquor!” The other three glanced at each other, knowing full well he really couldn’t.
“All right, one cider,” Sombra said.
The drinks were poured, and each guy grabbed their respective drink before following the smell of food into the massive dinning room.
“Did you ever use this while you were ruling?” Spike asked Sombra.
“Oh, absolutely. I was well known for the wild parties I threw every fortnight. The Palace was simply packed with people while I ruled,” Sombra snarked. “The word ‘introvert’ didn’t exist a thousand years ago; it would have made my life a lot easier if I knew then what I know now.”
“I recall you did occasionally have a cute guy over for the night,” Discord said with a teasing grin.
“One. Once in a while, it wasn’t what you’re thinking, and it never lasted. I blame my personality.”
Shining’s eyes widened. He looked at Discord and Sombra. “Uh. Did you two ever-?”
“Oh, Heavens no!” Discord said quickly. “We still aren’t the other’s type, but back in the Bade Olde Dayes, we were a lot more likely to kill each other than make out. I don’t have a fling with anything that moves, I have some standards,” the Draconequus muttered.
Spike rolled his eyes at his husband protesting too much.
They each took their place at the table and dug in. Spike’s table manners were better than Shining had been expecting, given how ravenous he knew his little brother was for Sombra’s pasta.
Shining took a bite and had to bite back a moan. Sombra said he didn’t use magic to enhance the flavor, but he still had his doubts about that. He didn’t admit it, but his cider did give him a pleasant buzz that helped him unwind.
Once the four had had their fill, Discord prepared to snap his fingers.
“Uh … I just got back from a week of hellacious negotiations with the griffons,” Shining said. “I’m totally down to play, but I don’t think I have quite enough energy to actually be my character tonight. Can we just do pen and paper?”
Discord deflated slightly with the sound of air escaping a balloon. “Fiiinnee…”
Discord did snap his fingers, bringing out the group’s character sheets, Spike’s books and miniatures, a pile of dice, and an Iron Maiden Dice Jail.
As each guy looked at his character sheets their eyes widened. “Oh, wow, we need to update these!” Sombra said with a laugh. “We’re at least 5 levels ahead of this…”
“I didn’t realize we’d been playing Discord’s way this long,” Spike agreed. “Not that there’s anything wrong with that,” he assured his mate, “One of us just should have remembered to update the sheets.
“So!” Spike continued, his voice deepening as he switched to Dungeon Master mode, “The last time we all met, you were tasked with ridding the kingdom of Al’evar of the fearsome dragon Klazzar.”
“Great!” Discord said, “I’m an amazing dragon layer. SLAYER!” he quickly corrected.
Spike rolled his eyes but couldn’t deny the slip. “You made your way through an enchanted forest and fought off a flock of Kenku thugs. You found an enchanted sword that may be of use in your quest. What do you do now?”
“I roll Investigation to see if we’re still on track, using the map the king gave us,” Sombra replied as he scored a 25.
“Mmm. Wasn’t that thing about 50 years out of date?” Discord asked.
“77,” Shining replied with a grin, “In a magic forest that’s changed quite a bit. But it’s all we’ve got.” Ah, he’d missed this…
“Night you two!” Shining said with a giggle. He was currently snuggled up against Sombra’s chest, who was cradling him in his arms like he weighed next to nothing.
“‘Hold your liquor,’ huh?” Discord said with a smirk.
“Ssshadup,” Shining groaned. “I only did the one jig.”
“And it was precious,” Sombra said as he nuzzled into Shining’s mane. “It was a pleasure having you two over,” he said to his in-laws, “I hope we can meet up next month.”
“Count on it!” Spike said. Discord nodded as well and snapped the two of them home.
Sombra carried his beautiful marshmallow bridal style up the stairs to the bedroom, before plopping him down in their bed.
Sombra then joined his husband, his horn lighting up as he turned out the lights.
Shining’s arms gripped him. “Mmmf. OK, I’m drunk,” Shining mumbled, “but I believe I made you a promise when I got home I desperately want to keep…”
Sombra grinned. “I’m looking forward to it,” he purred as the two began to reconnect.
Author's Note
Hopefully a mention of possible mpreg isn't too fetishy. 😓 I just want these dorks to be dads maybe. I also don't think one hard cider requires the Narcotics tag, but if you think otherwise, let me know! Yeah, they boinked at the end, but nothing explict. To clear up some questions preemptively, Spike's relationship to Twilight and Shining in this 'verse is 'adopted little brother' not 'Twilight's adopted son.' He's also 24, it's been some time since he was a baby.
Sombra's nickname of "marshmallow" is from another Sombra/Shining fic, sadly I can't remember which one...
Also, I'm not creative enough to think of Pony alternates for D&D, any references thereof belong to Wizards of the Coast, who are also owned by Hasbro.
Any comments are appreciated, but anything homophobic will be put in the bin.