The Princess of Love is Motivated by Spite.
The sound of ponies talking and milling about drifted past the closed stage curtain. Meanwhile stagehands rushed about readying the stage for the upcoming speech as the pink coated mare set to go on stage fidgeted in her black robe.
Princess Cadance, goddess of empathy and bonds, had donned one of her favourite robes for the event, a form fitting black robe adorned with white, purple, and grey roses. Nerves made her jittery, aware of how everything could go catastrophically wrong in the next several minutes.
The research had been done, the information repeated among her corner of society in an effort to help those still unsure of themselves. But rarely did it leave that circle, the assumptions made by broader Equestrian society denounced asexuality as a whole.
There was so much that needed to be done and she was but one mare.
She rested a hoof on her chest, took a deep breath, and moved her hoof outward as she exhaled.
It helped, somewhat.
“Still nervous?”
She turned around to see a friendly face smiling back at her.
“Shining!” she happily exclaimed and beamed as her special somepony trotted over. The couple brushed the tips of their noses together in a brief display of affection and the princess was relieved to see him here. “I thought you had work today?”
“It turns out there was a schedule mix-up,” he replied, evidently still dressed in his navy blue uniform. “And I got the rest of the day off.”
He rested a hoof on her shoulder, and she could sense his concern for her even though it was plain as day on his face. “I know you’ve been nervous about doing this presentation, but you’ll be fine Cady. And if anypony wants to be a jerk about it, then that’s their loss.”
“I know…” she admitted and sighed. “I’ve been working on this presentation for months! This is something important to me, to lots of people, not just ponies. This presentation will be the first time anyone has had the courage to put themselves out there and try to explain it to the public…”
She continued. “The information is there, Shiny, but so few want to know about it, or assume that everyone experiences the same things they do,” she paused and reached up to grab the hoof that still rested on her shoulder. “My words will have weight to them because I’m a princess, but I’m also at risk of facing the majority of the hate if people decide they don’t like what I have to say.”
“Hey…” Shining replied reassuringly and gently squeezed her hoof. “Even if there are a few bad apples, you’re not alone. I’ll always be here to support you, and to be honest,” he smirked. “I’m looking forward to learning a thing or two myself today.”
She giggled, her partner's optimism and open-mindedness a welcome balm to her nervousness. “You already know everything I’m going over today! You helped me practice.”
“Still, it doesn’t hurt to get a refresher.” He replied with a dorky grin.
“Your Highness?” One of the stagehands approached. “We’re ready for you now.”
Shining gave her one last nuzzle and made his way over to the audience. “Good luck!”
Cadance smiled to herself as her love for Shining Armor danced merrily through her thoughts.
Sometimes it’s the little things that make the biggest difference. She thought and checked that her butterfly-shaped ace pin was still securely fastened to her robe.
The muffled voice of the announcer rang through the room as the alicorn moved to stand at the spot onstage marked with a discreet white dot.
“Fillies and gentlecolts, Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns is proud to present a lecture on the asexuality spectrum by Princess Cadance!”
Cadance smiled warmly at the gathered crowd. Most were adults or teens on the verge of entering adulthood. And with a sea of curious and intrigued faces looking up at her, she steeled herself, internally prepared for the uphill battle to come.
“Hello everyone and welcome to my first lecture on asexuality and the asexual spectrum,” she began, she dropped her smile in favour of calm professionalism. “To start off, can anyone tell me what they think of when they hear the term asexual?”
Let’s knock those nasty misconceptions out of the way first.
She knew she couldn’t just spout off the information and expect her audience to take it at face value. Even as the ponies watching looked to be drawing blanks at her question, Cadance was more than aware of the stereotypes that people like her faced. She had to take the preconceived notions wider society had of asexuality and challenge them with the knowledge and understanding she had gained over the years.
One pony spoke up. “That they don’t like sex?”
And another. “They don’t feel love?”
She pointedly raised a brow at that one.
“It’s because of trauma or a hormone imbalance right?” another pony asked.
Cadance smiled. The kind of grin that spoke volumes about how wrong they were. Not that she wished any ill will towards them, but their ignorance was something that irked the pink pony to no end.
“No actually!” she replied merrily. “Asexuality is when a person feels little to no sexual attraction!” She kept up the peppy, cheerful explanation as the onlookers just looked perplexed at how that could possibly be real. “Sexual attraction is defined as attraction on the basis of sexual desire or the quality of arousing such interest. People on the asexual spectrum do not feel this or only in rare instances or under certain conditions.”
Several ponies scoffed at her statement, others rolled their eyes, and some simply turned around and left. Annoyed by the actions of those few, she locked eyes with the pony who spoke up first. “Asexuals can have sex without attraction for a multitude of reasons! To have children, please their partner, or because it feels good. Not every asexual dislikes or is repulsed by sex as there are asexuals that are indifferent to sex or even like it.”
“But, how can you have sex without attraction?” the pony asked.
“The same way everyone else has it of course.” Cadance replied. “Attraction itself does not equal action or arousal. Having sex is an action, something someone does and is free to do so long as everyone involved is of legal age and consents. And arousal is just the body reacting to external stimuli or hormones.”
As people digested that bit of info, she nodded. “Yes, asexuals do indeed have a functioning libido, some higher or lower, same as everyone else. We also take care of that same libido using the exact same means as everyone else,” she rolled her eyes at the shocked expressions of some members of the audience. “We’re not children or immature. We can, and do, look at porn, read erotica, have sex, and masturbate.”
She observed the crowd, they were listening at least, and with no aggressive outcries coming forth, the princess deemed it safe to continue. “And on that note, I'd like to return your attention back to the definition of sexcual attraction, notice how there was no mention of romantic love in the description?”
The pony who spoke up about love scoffed. “But everypony knows that sex is ultimate expression of love. It’s the most intimate thing you can do with a pony.”
There were agreements and nods from several others and Cadance could feel the ice-cold spite and offense raging through her veins at the comment. She knew she shouldn’t get so worked up about it, but the notion was everywhere in multiple societies, and not just centered in Equestria. She adored romance, but the constant need to have a relationship revolve around sex was so off-putting and insulting to her.
Love was more than just sex.
She cleared her throat.
“See, there’s this thing called romantic attraction, defined as attraction that makes people desire romantic contact or interaction with another person or persons,” she said, spite laced with forced cheer. “It has absolutely nothing to do with sexual attraction… and while for most people they will experience both romantic and sexual at around the same time, for those on the asexual or aromantic spectrums, the two are distinct from one another. Some feel neither.”
“I am a panromantic asexual,” Cadance explained. “That means that I feel romantic attraction regardless of another’s gender, and I feel no sexual attraction whatsoever.”
“I-it’s different?” a colt asked and she nodded at him.
“There are several different forms of attraction,” Cadance elaborated. Spite melted away for the moment as she took enjoyment from being able to educate. “There is sexual and romantic as I’ve just talked about. But there is also platonic attraction, which is the desire to be friends with someone, aesthetic attraction, where a person is pretty, handsome or cute but with no romantic or sexual connotations, and sensual attraction which is the desire to touch, kiss or cuddle with no sexual implications.”
She found it rather humorous that the ones with the most complex and informed understanding of the different types of attraction were the ones that were in the minority. It was most likely because those who didn’t feel one type or another had to figure out what it actually was before realizing that they differed from their allosexual or alloromantic peers.
It was such a nuanced thing that most people simply didn't pay attention to it because they assumed everyone felt the same things.
Sex, so often seen as the penultimate expression of love. Love and romantic relationships are also viewed as one of life’s greatest achievements and goals. Those were the ideals she was hoping to challenge, or at least get the ball rolling in helping to break down such assumptions. She hoped that by spreading awareness, others would have the courage to share their own experiences.
The colt, likely in his last year of schooling, spoke up again. “So… there’s nothing wrong with not being attracted to anypony?”
She could see it in his eyes, the confusion, the hope, the battle of dealing with whatever he had gone through to think that there may have been something wrong with him.
Her heart went out to him. She walked closer to the edge of the stage to address him directly.
“Did someone tell you that there is something wrong with you?” Cadance asked and upon receiving a hesitant nod, she offered him the most reassuring smile she could. “A lack of attraction, any attraction, doesn’t make us any less of a person. There is nothing wrong with you, there is nothing broken, and you aren’t inequine or an unfeeling monster. What you experience, or don’t, is just how you are.”
The colt smiled, looking at her in wide-eyed awe, and mumbled out a “Thank you” before stepping back to stand by his parents.
She turned her gaze back to the general audience. “Those on the asexual spectrum still care deeply about things, be it our friends, family, hobbies, or work. A lack of attraction does not mean a lack of emotion, empathy, or passion!” She swept a steely gaze over the crowd. “It is simply how we are. Asexuals, or anyone for that matter, does not need to have sex to figure out their sexuality. We don’t need to be fixed or forced into having sex because people think we’ll change our mind or just need to find the right person!”
“We can have loving, fulfilling relationships without sex! We can have children, fall in love, or spend our days pursuing a hobby and looking after beloved pets…” Cadance said. “Asexuals are people, be they pony, dragon, griffin, or any other being that walks this world. And we have a right to be treated with the same respect and decency as anyone else, regardless of our sexuality.”
She sighed. “Now that we’re all clear on the common misconceptions and the definition of attraction, I can now introduce you to the various terms under the asexual spectrum,” she smirked. “Because ladies and gentlemen, asexuality itself is but one label under the asexual spectrum, or ace umbrella as it’s also known.”
She stood proudly upon the stage, she had made headway, and she was determined to see this through.
“It is a spectrum, and I’m here to tell you all about it,” she said and began to pace back and forth across the stage, the sound of bare hooves on the wooden stage adding a sense of importance to her talk. “Now, I’ll be going over the most well documented and common identities on the spectrum. There’s Asexuality of course, the complete lack of attraction. Gray Asexuality, those who feel attraction but rarely or infrequently, and Demisexuality, the absence of attraction until an emotional bond is formed.”
“Until a bond is formed?” someone asked. “Isn’t everyone like that?”
She had to stop herself from sighing. “No, note the absence of attraction. Demisexuals are functionally asexual until an emotional bond is formed with another person,” she stated, it was tiring, seeing this exact misconception rear its head whenever the topic of demisexuality was brought up. “This bond can be platonic, romantic, a work relationship, and the length of time for attraction to occur can be anywhere from weeks, to months or even years.”
“Let me put it this way,” she added. “If everyone were demisexual, then all those romance novels, or product advertisements with hot, attractive people in them wouldn’t be nearly as widespread as a marketing tactic. Demisexuals are attracted to personality, emotional connection, appearance is secondary or even not a priority for them.”
“Isn’t that just a healthy relationship?” someone asked from near the back and Cadance was completely unprepared for that leap in logic.
“What? Sexual attraction does not equal action,” she stressed. “And a relationship is a joint venture between two people and does not define a person’s sexuality.”
She took a breath, she’d already acted on her emotions more than once today, acting calm and professional would only get her so far. She had a goal in mind, and what better way to be heard than to show she was just a person, same as them. But she didn’t want to turn this into a shouting match or have it escalate beyond a heated debate.
“...Despite what some people believe, sex isn’t everything in a relationship and many on the asexual spectrum are in committed relationships,” she said. “But that doesn’t define their sexuality nor exclude them from identifying as such… But I’ll go into more detail about that at a later date…”
Cadance slouched in her seat. The quaint café she often frequented was a small business tucked away in a corner of Canterlot, out of sight from the busy main street, but close enough to housing that it still had frequent customers.
She sat at her usual table in the back of the room completely drained from her presentation. For all her preparation, she just wasn’t able to maintain the air of serene calm a pony of her station was expected to hold. She wasn’t like Celestia, whose feathers were rarely ruffled during her daily interactions with the general populace.
She looked up at the sound of approaching hoof steps to see that Shining had returned from his mission to secure their order. Levitating two plates of carrot cake and two milkshakes he placed their food on the table and slid into the chair opposite her.
Picking up a fork in one wing, the mare smiled at her special somepony. “You didn’t have to do this you know… But I appreciate it.”
From across the table, Shining grinned back at her. “You did a good job out there Cady, you deserve a treat.”
She snorted as she speared a morsel of cake onto her fork. “I was not professional up on that stage Shiny… if Celestia was the one giving that speech I’m sure no one would have given her any trouble and she probably would have worded it better too.” she sighed and ate her cake.
Celestia was the example of what a princess should be like, how they should act, and the responsibility and weight their actions held. In contrast, Cadance was seen as approachable, but also as having less of an influence due to her relatively short time as The Princess of Love.
And even then her supposed duties didn’t entirely coincide with why she wanted to keep the mantle of princess in the first place. Love was complicated, nuanced, and much like one facet of herself, grossly simplified and misunderstood by society as a whole.
Love was more than just the love between romantic partners, it was broad and varied with many different forms. But for now, Cadance settled on trying to unravel one of the major faults she saw in society's view of love. Namely it’s ties to sex and sexual attraction.
“I don’t think Celestia would have done as good a job explaining it,” Shining retorted, pulling her out of her thoughts. “Sure, public speaking is her strong suit after ruling Equestria for a thousand years, but she wouldn’t understand in the same way you do.”
“ou’ think?” she mumbled with her mouth full.
“Of course!” he replied earnestly. “You care about this Cady, you’ve experienced or seen first hand how others are treated just because they’re different. I think it’s amazing how passionate you are about this.”
“Thanks…” she said softly. “But there’s still a long way to go.”
“Yeah…” he agreed. “But I think you were amazing.”
“And you, are biased.” she replied playfully.
“True,” he easily agreed. “You still put your all into that speech, even if it didn’t go exactly as planned, you got the information out there.”
“I just have to keep at it.’ she said with a small, hopeful smile.
“Exactly!” he said and looked thoughtful for a moment before smirking at her. “Cady~”
“Yeees?”
“Love you.”
“I love you too, you dork.” she replied.
Author's Note
Now, I couldn't cover everything, and there are some topics I did avoid due to how long this fic was getting, and that I wasn't sure I could give them the respect and care they were due.
I would have brought up the topics of trauma, corrective rape and coerced sex, but I wasn't comfortable discussing those topics, and I do apologize for glossing over them. Anyone that identifies as asexual or on the asexual spectrum due to trauma is just as valid and welcome as those who are asexual from the outset.
All that matters is whether a term fits how a person experiences attraction, or lack thereof, at the time.
Some handy dandy resources and information if you want to learn more.
The Asexuality Visibility and Education Network
The Demisexuality Subreddit (Which I'm in and browse daily, it has pinned thread at the top with a bunch of resources)
The Asexuality Subreddit (Also has a pinned thread with a load of resources)
A Timeline of Asexual History
As mentioned in the fic, the information is there, do your own research if you want to learn more.
I hope what I've written comes across as both educational and entertaining. It was a bit of challenge figuring out how to go about this, as I haven't written a speech since I was in high school, and haven't really done so in fanfiction before.
Edit (for those that don't read the comments): I know this is clunky, however I've just been a bit too preoccupied with other things to write something more compelling, but thank you for giving this a read and I hope the next time I return to this topic, it'll be more palatable.
