The Ghoulish Garlic Cum Caper

by AtomicClop

Rating: mature
Tags: Nurse Redheart, Sunburst, Porn, Sex, Bon-Bon, Gallus, Lyra, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 8923

A vampony bit Lyra! To save her from a fate worse than death, as many stallions as possible must eat garlic and cum inside her.

A vampony bit Lyra! To save her from a fate worse than death, as many stallions as possible must eat garlic and cum inside her.

First half of chapter one: All the stallions in Ponyville run a train on Bon-Bon and Lyra.
Second half of chapter one: Bon-Bon rails Gallus.

With thanks to many Discord people for brainstorming.
Now with fewer typos! Thanks, Samey90.

Published 2021-10-24 12:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2021-10-24 12:00:01 UTC

Chapter One: Murder on the Allium Express

"Bon-Bon!" Lyra shouted, waking me from a deep sleep. "Bon-Bon! Bon-Bon! Bon-Bon!"

My initial inclination was to roll over, pull a pillow over my head, and go back to sleep. But... something in Lyra's voice was off. I couldn't quite place what, but I could tell my wife was upset about something.

I sat up in bed, the sheets pooling around my waist, and rubbed my eyes. "What? Huh?" I said.

Lyra bounded into the room and slid to a stop. She placed her forehooves on my shoulders and her eyes, usually so bright with golden mischief, were wide and glazed with panic.

Blood soaked her neck.

"Holy shit!" I said. "You're bleeding. What happened? Get to the bathroom." I hopped out of bed and headbutted her in the ribs, herding her to the master bathroom, where my first aid kit was.

"I-I-I-I—" Lyra said. Her voice, usually so bright, was hollow with fear. "I was in the Everfree..."

"In the middle of the night? Are you crazy?" I turned on the sink and soaked a clean rag, wiping her wound. Gently dabbing the blood away, where it matted her fur, I exposed two sharp punctures. "Motherfucker," I said.

"Yep," she said. "I think it was..."

"I didn't know vamponies still existed," I said. "I thought S.M.I.L.E. exterminated them two generations ago."

Her eyes wide, face pale, she stared into my eyes. The trust in her eyes, the assumption that I, Agent Sweetie Drops, Bon-Bon to civilians, Bon-Bon even to her, even in private, so that we didn't slip up and expose my past, knew all about monsters and monster hunting.

"W-what do I do?" She asked, tears pooling in her eyes.

She started sobbing when I said, betraying the trust of the mare I love more than anything else in this world, "I don't know..."

Lyra and I sat in the Friendship Castle's library as Nurse Redheart took Lyra's temperature and blood pressure.

Starlight Glimmer and Sunburst stumbled into the library, wearing bathrobes and smelling like sex. Trixie trotted in the back door.

"I sent the scroll to Twilight in Canterlot," Trixie said.

Starlight moved to examine Lyra's wound and Sunburst pushed a ladder to one of the bookshelves, then climbed to retrieve a book from the top.

Redheart pulled the thermometer from under Lyra's tongue and removed the blood pressure cuff. "Both are a little low."

Lyra shook in terror. I hugged a foreleg around her as Starlight removed the bandages I had placed over the bite.

"Heck," Starlight said. "That's a vampony bite for sure."

Redheart nodded sourly.

"What do we do?" I asked.

"We call Mister Waddle," Sunburst said from the top of the ladder.

"What?" said Lyra, Trixie, Starlight, Redheart, and I.

Sunburst brandished a book. "Hunting the Vampony, by Professor Doctor Abraham van Waddle."

My eyes widened. "Wait—Mister Waddle is that Doctor Waddle? He was a legend in S.M.I.L.E.! They retired him to Ponyville, too? Honest to Luna, the stupidest part of the entire organization is the pony resources department. There are days I wonder if half this town are retired agents."

Starlight teleported away. Lyra sobbed against me and I hugged her, rubbing her withers. Redheart wandered to a bookshelf and browsed the titles, giving us a tiny bubble of privacy. Sunburst began flipping through Mister Waddle's book.

After several minutes, Sunburst said, "Oh dear."

"What?" Lyra asked, sitting up. "Something good?"

"Well," Sunburst said, "it's got a list of two treatments to prevent the bitten pony from becoming a vampony herself—"

Starlight returned with the flash of a teleport, Mister Waddle with her. He dropped a large burlap bag at his hooves. The old stallion looked around, saw the wound on Lyra's neck, and walked straight over to her. "Let me look at you, young lady."

Lyra nodded shakily and stood, bowing low so Mister Waddle could reach to see.

"Vampony bite," he said. "Sure as sunrise. When?"

Lyra glanced at the clock. "Less than... two hours ago?"

"Thank goodness," Mister Waddle said. "We have almost nine hours until dawn. That should be enough. Maybe. Probably. Hopefully."

"Enough for what?" Lyra asked.

"There are two ways, only two," he brandished his cane, "to prevent a bitten pony from becoming a vampony."

"Okay," I said. "Sunburst was just reading that from your book."

"My eh now what?"

Sunburst levitated the book over, dropping it on a table close to the old stallion.

"Ah! That is my book. Chapter thirteen, chapter thirteen..." Mister Waddle flipped pages, scanned down the lines of text with a hoof, then looked at Lyra. "There are two, and only two ways. And we have to pick one, pick right now. That'll be your choice, young lady. And whichever we choose... no slacking off. We've got to go full speed ahead, as hard as we can, because if it doesn't work, you become a vampony, and there's no cure for that. It's an eternity of a damned and pagan existence, a parody of the life and warmth that's in your veins right now."

Lyra nodded, hugging me tighter.

I glared at Sunburst because he... but Sunburst ignored me, staring at Mister Waddle's burlap sack, forgotten on the floor.

"If we were closer to dawn, it would be method number one," Mister Waddle continued. "But I don't recommend method one, since we have time—plenty of time—for method number two."

"What is method one?" I snapped.

He looked at me. "I know all about you, Agent Sweetie Drops. Show respect to those who served before you. I was slaying vamponies when your parents were still on the teat. Method one, we use silver ropes on each hoof and tie her down to cold-iron stakes in the town square, we cut off her head and cut out her heart, and we let the sun burn her to ash when Celestia raises it. A vampony in the sunlight will burn to nothing."

Lyra stiffened, turned, and sobbed into my shoulder. "Let's hear method two," she said.

Mister Waddle turned away from his book and walked to the burlap sack. He kicked it open and garlic bulbs, dozens of garlic bulbs, spilled out.

"Heck," Trixie said. "Lyra, Bon-Bon isn't going to want to kiss you for weeks after—what are you doing?"

Mister Waddle was crunching down on a whole, raw garlic bulb. He coughed and gasped, eyes watering, as he chewed.

"You'll give yourself an infarction, Mister Waddle," Redheart admonished.

The smell of garlic filled the library. "Stallions eat the garlic, Missus Lyra does not," said Mister Waddle.

"T-then what?" Lyra asked. "After the stallions eat the garlic?"

I figured it out. Sunburst, who had read Mister Waddle's book just before Starlight arrived with him, levitated himself a garlic bulb.

And I was still glaring at Sunburst, because he had a big, throbbing erection. His cock was still wet, a thin string of cum smeared on the tip, from what he and Starlight had been doing when we barged into the castle, demanding their help.

"Lunadamnit," I said.

"I, uh, what?" Lyra said.

"They're going to eat garlic and fuck you," I said.

"Oh." Lyra said. "Can't I just eat the garlic? That seems easier."

"Who do you suppose created vamponies in the first place?" Mister Waddle said.

"Ah," Lyra replied. "Discord?"

Mister Waddle nodded. "Discord."

"Nothing Discord is responsible for can be fixed the easy way," Trixie said grumpily.

"What do you mean?" Lyra asked.

"I had a threesome with him and Fluttershy once. I peed literal chocolate milk for two weeks."

"And shat cotton candy," Sunburst added.

We all looked at him.

"With Spike in Canterlot," Sunburst said, "I had to plunge the toilets."

"Cotton candy is water soluble," I pointed out.

"Next time, you can plunge them," Sunburst said, "and tell me how water soluble they are. I still have nightmares. Why did you let Discord buttfuck you?"

"How many penises do you suppose Discord has?" Trixie snarled. "Hint: take your guess and multiply by pi-squared."

"That's irrational," Sunburst countered.

"So, Missus Lyra," Mister Waddle interrupted, banging his cane on the tile floor. "We need to start. We have only... eight and a half hours until dawn. And I'm not sure there are enough stallions in Ponyville to break the spell."

Lyra spluttered, waving her forelegs. "There are hundreds of stallions in Ponyville!"

"So let's start. I'll go first. Trixie, Starlight, Redheart, you three go roust the town. All ponies on deck. Missus Bon-Bon—Agent Sweetie Drops—do you love your wife?"

"What kind of question is that?" I snarled. "You know I do!"

"Then," Mister Waddle said, "Warm up Mister Sunburst so that he can pop more quickly when I'm done with Missus Lyra. Those three should have the first of the next group of stallions here by the time Mister Sunburst is finished."

"I'm staying here," Redheart said.

"Those two, then," Mister Waddle said with a dismissive wave of his cane.

"Oh," Lyra said. She looked at me. "So, uh, Bon-Bon..."

"I'm here," I said. "I'm with you."

"You'll fluff the stallions?"

I nodded. "Sunburst," I said, just before he could crunch down on the garlic bulb, "hold off a second there."

"I really, really don't want to be a vampony," Lyra whispered.

I kissed her. She kissed me back.

"There's no such thing as an ex-monster hunter, right Bon-Bon?" she whispered.

I nodded.

"If I turn into a vampony, you'll drive the stake through my heart."

I nodded. "But it wouldn't be you anymore, by then. You'd be dead, and I would just be staking... a monster that's wearing your dead body like a Nightmare Night costume."

"I want you to stake the one that bit me."

"Tomorrow," I said. Oh, I was going to slaughter that monster for putting Lyra in this situation.

Sunburst walked up and put fresh bandages onto Lyra's neck, taping them down carefully. "You'll, um, ah, want to cover that."

I raised an eyebrow at him.

"We really do need to maximize Lyra's throughput before dawn," Sunburst explained. "And the book says the spell doesn't care, um, ah, if the ejaculations are vaginal?"

"I'm going to spend the next eight hours getting spitroasted?" Lyra gasped.

"Eight and a half hours," said Mister Waddle. "You won't be the first mare. Or stallion."

"Stallions too?" Trixie asked.

"Don't ask me how I researched this chapter," Mister Waddle said with a frown. "It was an unpleasant day in S.M.I.L.E."

Lyra kissed me again, stood, and raised her head high. She walked across the room to Mister Waddle. Starlight teleported away and Trixie hustled out the door. Redheart stared at Mister Waddle and stretched her shoulders.

Lyra lowered her forequarters to the library floor and presented her rump to Mister Waddle, flipping her tail right. She was left-side-on to me and I looked at her, my wife, my love, presenting herself to the elderly stallion.

She—she smiled me! That's one reason I love her so much. Even bitten by a vampony, even at risk of a fate literally worse than death, even about to get railed by the oldest and most... unappealing stallion in Ponyville, she still smiled at me.

"Thanks for being on the team, Bons," she said.

I wiped away a tear.

Mr Waddle's rather modest waddle was at its maximum level of wad and he used his cane to lever himself up onto her back.

Sunburst cleared his throat.

"Got any lube?" I asked.

"Not close to hoof," Sunburst said.

"Well, I'm as dry as a changeling's wings," I grumped. "Give me some oral first."

"I'm, uh, you know, Starlight and I..."

"And me and Lyra," I snapped. "This is gonna be a weird night for lots of ponies. Keep your horn dry." I didn't mind some hornplay from Lyra, but I didn't trust Sunburst.

I raised my tail. As I watched Mister Waddle scoot forward and spear his nearly-limp noodle into Lyra, a sour frown washed over my face. Lyra smiled at me and gave a hoofs-up. "One!"

Sunburst licked my clit and a shock ran up my spine. I wasn't exactly excited, but that was definitely the first step on the road to getting there.

And, while we're at it, I should point out neither Lyra nor I were strangers to stallions—both of us had gotten plenty of cock before we met each other—and I had considered myself straight until that one S.M.I.L.E. mission I don't talk about—and even after Lyra and I were together, there was that time with the hard cider at the party and... never mind.

The point is, I can take a cock as skillfully as anypony, even if I'm married to a mare.

I lowered my forequarters, leaving my ass high, and Sunburst began to explore my pussy with his tongue. I closed my eyes, pretending his tongue was Lyra's, and the warmth and soft wetness of his mouth began to merge with the burgeoning heat and wetness of my own excitement, tiny muscle spasms in my crotch, flanks, belly, ass, teats. Sunburst was pretty good at that, I admitted to myself, and except when his ugly-ass goatee brushed against me, I could close my eyes and thrust gently backwards in time with his licking and just enjoy it...

"Okay," I said. "I'm wet enough. Eat your garlic, get yourself warmed up, but don't cum in me."

Sunburst gave a last lick, from my clit and deep up between my lips, bushing against my opening, a small brush of magic against my anus, and I clenched my eyes shut and shivered and made a tiny squeak in the back of my throat, back legs trembling, as the roughness of his tongue drove a nice, big shock of pleasure up my pussy and made my whole belly clench.

His weight pressed down on my hips as he mounted me. A firm, warm shape pressed against my opening and I smelled sharp garlic as he crunched loudly on a bulb of the stuff. He coughed, gasped, and yelped like a kicked puppy as he pressed deep into me.

"Whoo!" I gasped. He was big! He filled me up, stretching everything wide. My forelegs trembled now, too, against the crystal floor of the library. Starlight's a pretty good-looking mare, and I told myself I could feel her juices on Sunburst's cock, even though I knew that was a tall tale; it helped me warm up, my pilot light getting just a little higher at the thought, even if I knew it wasn't true.

Sunburst pressed forward, hilting into my now-soaked twat, and I clenched down on him. The goal was to get him primed and ready to pop so he could service Lyra quickly, so, by Luna, I was going to do exactly that.

Sunburst grunted, his cock throbbing inside me as I closed my eyes tighter and fell into rhythm with him, pushing my hips back and clenching on him as he thrusted forward. He massaged my cutie marks with his forehooves, and that was actually a rather pleasant sensation, a simple platonic touch overlaid on the eroticism of his big cock railing my insides.

I heard voices and opened my eyes, looking at the door as several others came into the library. Trixie shouted. "Line up behind or in front of Bon-Bon and start eating garlic! As soon as Lyra's free, move from Bon-Bon to her!" Trixie stomped a hoof, her steel horseshoe ringing loudly on the crystal. "Chop chop! Clip clop! Fast quick! As many stallions as possible before dawn!" Trixie hustled out.

Zephyr Breeze, Gallus, Chancellor Neighsay, and the train conductor—All Aboard, that was his name—and Sandbar. Damnit, Sandbar was my fourth cousin!

Luna, this was going to be a long night. They all (except Zephyr) had erections or at least the beginnings of them, their cocks flopped out of their sheaths.

A "HRNRK!" sound got my attention and I turned to see Mister Waddle's face go hard and his eyes roll back in his head. He fell backwards off Lyra, landing flat on his back, his waddle pointing up at the ceiling and glazed with Lyra's juices.

"I knew it!" Redheart said. She had been standing in the corner, her rump pressed against the wall, but came at a run.

Redheart kneeled to Mister Waddle's side and began artificial respiration and chest compressions. With each chest compression, his cock throbbed bigger than it had previously.

Lyra said "Eh" and shrugged before straddling his hips and lowering her wet snatch down onto his cock. With each of Redheart's chest compressions, his cock engorged and Lyra thrusted downward, then lifted her hips up between Redheart's compressions.

"Yeah yeah yeah yeah much better much bigger..." Lyra gasped, her tail raising, her ass pointed at me.

I just stared at her puckered asshole and sopping-wet pussy as she rode Mister Waddle in time with Redheart's CPR. Watching Lyra's trim body pistoning up and down, her muscular hips taut with exertion, sweat wetting her mane and her pussy and ass throbbing, watching my wife, my love, in the full throes of an eroctic display, I felt my insides clench in preparation for an absolutely massive—

Sunburst stopped rutting and said, "Oh Lyra's asshole is the same color as her coat I'm warmed up!" and hopped off me.

I moaned and lowered my belly to the floor, my pussy clenching uncontrollably on nothing. I'd been about to cum! Sunburst's cock was huge, and even distracted and embarrassed, he'd been using it well. Frustration pulsed up and down my spine and I thrashed my tail, my pussy and asshole clenching on nothing as my imminent orgasm faded into crackling frustration.

Sunburst shuffled across the room to Lyra and kneeled down, over Mister Waddle's limp tail, and popped the tip of his cock into Lyra's ass. Her asshole clenched down on the ridge of his glans. Mister Waddle gasped, spasmed, and tried to sit up. Redheart stopped CPR. Just as Lyra slammed down on his cock one last time, Mister Waddle and Sunburst both came simultaneously, the smell of cum and garlic filling the room.

"Whoo!" Lyra said, resting, straddled on Mister Waddle's hips, her forehooves on her knees. "Two at once!"

"Let me just die now," Mister Waddle said. "And I'll be happy for eternity."

"Up," Redheart commanded. Lyra stood, popping off Mister Waddle's and Sunburst's cocks. Thin streams of cum dripped from her holes and Redheart slung Mister Waddle over her back, rushing him out of the room. We didn't see either of them again that night, so Redheart must have carried him to the hospital.

A pity, we could have used her help fluffing. Stallions think she's hot. Heck, I think Redheart's hot.

"All right," I said. "Next!"

It was a long night.

Stallions trickled in as Trixie or Starlight rousted them, then ate garlic, got warmed up in me, came in Lyra, and then disappeared.

As Redheart carried Mister Waddle out and Sunburst staggered off, Sandbar and Neighsay approached me. The two glared at each other and I wagged my tail at Sandbar.

"Hey, um, so, like..." Sandbar said.

Neighsay and Sandbar glared at each other some more. Even several years after Cozy Glow, it seemed they still hated each other. Neighsay stood in front of me, Sandbar behind me.

"So," Sandbar said. "My marefriend has a beak. I've never had a blowjob... trade?"

"Very well," Neighsay said. "I shall engage in vaginal coitus."

All Aboard hopped up onto Lyra, crammed his dick into her, and shouted "Choo choo!" while making a train whistle pull gesture.

Neighsay's cock was tiny and I barely felt him inside me; he sure didn't get me any closer to the satisfaction Sunburst had left me without. I still clenched and shoved my hips back in time with his thrusts, trying to stimulate him, for Lyra's sake.

He crunched garlic as he rutted.

Sandbar and I looked at each other.

"It's not weird," I said. "Okay, cousin? It's a medical emergency."

He nodded and crunched on garlic, then hopped up, forehooves on my withers as I bent my head. His cock flopped against my nose. Damn, it was big! Bigger even than Sunburst's. I licked the underside and Sandbar shuddered, hooves scrabbling to stay balanced on my withers. His tail flopped and his balls hung low, huge and full-looking.

I sucked his cock into my mouth, letting my teeth scrape his glans and his body shuddered. He leaned down and whispered to me, "I'm sorry about the situation."

Thrusting back against Neighsay's rutting, I sucked Sandbar. His cock engorged in my mouth, absolutely huge. I breathed through my nose, jealous of his hippogriff marefriend, and hoping that Neighsay wasn't married because no wife deserved what I was feeling—not feeling—in my snatch. I hadn't been planning to go all-out with the blowjobs, but Sandbar's apology was worth something so I gave a little swallow, not quite deep-throating him, but definitely needing to suppress my gag reflex.

"Yipe!" Sandbar yelled, hit cock jumping in my mouth as his whole body jerked in surprise, his ballsack tightening up against his underside.

"All aboard!" yelled All Aboard and the smell of cum in the room redoubled.

Neighsay hopped off me and Sandbar pulled back, both of them shuffling over to Lyra to take their turns.

I coughed, my throat sore from the size of Sandbar's tip, and my pussy still throbbed, still frustrated, from the lack of good stimulation. Sunburst had warmed me up then finished in Lyra's ass; Neighsay had disappeared into my snatch like a rowboat in the ocean.

Zephyr Breeze approached my head and Gallus approached my rump.

"This is gonna be a long night," I muttered.

Zephyr Breeze didn't even have the beginning of an erection; he just started braiding my mane. I heard more hoofsteps coming in the door but didn't bother turning my head to see who the next batch of stallions were. Sharp claws pricked my flanks as Gallus levered himself up onto my back.

My ears went straight up, my eyes went wide, and my jaw dropped open when Gallus pushed himself into me. I had thought Sunburst was big, I had thought Sandbar was big, but Gallus was fucking enormous. He absolutely speared me, plowing my insides out of the way and stretching me wide. He was so huge his insertion stroke clobbered my G-spot and scraped the tip of my clit as his rock-hard shaft dragged across it.

"Yesssss..." I gasped. I would cum in no time with the enormous monstrosity crushing my G-spot and clit and tapping the bottom of my womb. Luna! Gallus was so huge I wished I had peed before the action started, he was pressing on my bladder and I had to squeeze hard to keep from making a puddle.

He squawked smugly as my body shook and my ears trembled. A mixture of fish-breath and garlic assaulted my nose as Gallus panted. Zephyr Breeze continued braiding my mane, still impotent and not even offering his cock to me.

Gallus pressed in a little deeper, his tip mashed hard against my cervix, and then he stroked out—

—and I yelped like a puppy after its tail got stepped on. "Ow holy Tartarus what the shit?"

As Gallus pulled all the way out, an intense, burning, scraping sensation filled me, dragging up my channel. His huge, wonderful, huge, throbbing, huge cock was covered in catlike spines!

He slammed back in. The pain of the spines that had raked my insides faded as the massive, piledriving size clobbered my G-spot and clit again.

Zephyr continued braiding my mane, ignoring all the sex, his sheath unmoving and cock limp. I glanced at Lyra; Filthy Rich stood in front of her, his hooves on her withers, crunching on garlic and coughing. "I haven't had sex since eleven months before my daughter was born," Filthy said.

"Your daughter's a teenager," Lyra replied, and touched her lips to his cock.

Filthy came instantly, Lyra's eyes widening and cheeks poofing out like a chipmunk smuggling six acorns as Filthy delivered his fifteen-year-held load.

As all that happened, Gallus brought me even closer to cumming myself as he refilled me with his giant slab of griffon.

Then he pulled out again, his dickbarbs once more raking my insides. "Gaaah! Gallus, that hurts."

"Don't shame my species' penile evolution."

"Gallus, buddy, I'm sorry," I said, "But this isn't working. Thanks for—" I almost said coming "—showing up, but if you hurt me or Lyra, this whole evening won't work right."

He huffed, squawked, dismounted me, and flew from the room in a snit.

Zephyr Breeze finished braiding my mane and trotted out of the castle, too, still as limp as cooked spaghetti.

"Next!" I yelled.

It was a long night.

Bulk Biceps loomed over me, so tall he didn't even need to mount me, put a surprisingly tiny dick into me, and then came instantly with a "YEEEEEAAAHH!" and the smallest ejaculation in the history of ponykind, his balls shrunken to the size of peas from the steroids.

I'd already been planning to take fifteen different birth control potions the next day, but I wasn't even remotely worried about the load Bulk left behind.

He ran out of the room, crashing right through a solid crystal wall.

Starlight's dad was apparently visiting town. After crunching some garlic he said, "I'm so glad my pumpky-wumpkin thought to invite me to this!" He thrust a reasonably sized cock into me while I sucked on Soarin's impressively long (if somewhat lacking in girth) member. Soarin' rubbed my ears with his wingtips as I sucked and that felt actually rather nice. Once Lyra was over... tonight... and we got our personal love life going again, I would give her an ear rub and see how she liked it.

"Dad, don't call me pumpky-wumpkin while you screw Bon-Bon," Starlight said with a facehoof before teleporting out to roust some more stallions.

Starlight's dad got me warmed back up and then switched to his turn with Lyra right as my mainspring got wound up enough I thought I could almost get some release. As he and Soarin' shuffled over to Lyra to finish, I wrapped my forelegs over my head and yelled in frustration at yet another almost-orgasm, left off right before I could cum.

Every damn time! The stallion winds me up and then stops, leaving me frustrated and the time gap before the next one killing my edge and making me start over.

"Lemme cut in line!" yelled Sweetie Belle's dad, rushing into the library, his straw hat pushed back on his head, crunching a garlic bulb. "The cutie mark crusaders are sleeping over at our house and while I'm here they don't have adult supervision!"

The stallions all made way and he quickly crammed into Lyra's ass and shot his load, yelling "Touchdown!" As he left, we all—being Ponyvillians—quieted and tilted our heads and perked our ears, listening for explosions or sirens.

I heard a distant clanging of the firehouse bell.

Thunderlane showed up, Flitter and Cloudchaser in tow. The twins dropped to their knees and sucked Thunderlane hard. I flicked my ears at that. I wasn't good enough?

"Hi, Thunderlane!" Lyra chirped as he approached, cock swinging puissant under his barrel. "Long time no see! My ass, for old time's sake?"

Thunderlane smiled.

An annoying stallion with good hair approached me and hopped up on my back and stuck a medium-sized but nicely hard cock in. "Who're you?" I grumped.

Singing, in an off-key, crooning voice, his breath rancid with garlic, "Feeeatherrr BaAaAaAaAangs... oh yeah."

"You sing again and I'll castrate and debark you."

With my words, and a single backwards thrust of my hips, he came. I felt the warm, wet load fill me and then drip out of me and over my clit.

"Whoops," he said. "Sorry, I cum to threats of violence."

"I don't like you," I said.

"Nopony does," he said sadly before leaving the library.

It was a long night.

Special Delivery, the Ponyville postmaster, strode into the library and announced, "I'm here to deliver cum!"

He was a pretty good fuck. He railed me quite well, getting me all wound up again. His cock wasn't particularly long, but it was girthy and thick and crushed my G-spot quite effectively, especially given how he's a tall stallion and had a down-angle into me. I clenched my eyes and started gasping around Fancy Pants's cock, trying to be sure not to bite him as my muscles began their clenching in anticipation of my first orgasm of the night around Special Delivery... and then pulled out right before I could finally cum, leaving me even more frustrated than before. He ran to Lyra and crammed into her pussy. She moaned and shouted—her pussy is naturally tighter than mine, so his huge girth would be expected to hit her harder—and squirted marecum all over his balls and he shot his load, whinnying and flapping his wings.

I sighed in frustration.

Maud railed me while I sucked Mudbriar. I hadn't expected Maud to have the third- or fourth largest cock in town, but it was a weird night all around.

Big Mac's cock tasted and smelled like fresh vaginal fluids, which was no surprise; he's married to Sugar Belle, one of the prettiest mares in town. However, the vaginal fluids had a distinct apple tang to them, not baked-goods taste. I decided don't ask/don't tell was the correct answer there.

Rainbow Dash strode in, leading two middle-aged ponies who had to be her parents. Rather than the stallion getting in line behind me, Dash's mom raised her own rump and Dash's dad started railing her right next to Lyra. Dash cheered, waving a Number One! Foam hand as they fucked.

When Dash's dad switched, mounting Lyra and poking into the massive puddle of cum dripping from her pussy, Dash's mom and Dash both started chanting "Cum! Cum! Cum! Cum!" and then, as soon as he did, wings flaring high and balls clenching tight to his underside, Dash waved the foam hand again and her mom waved a pennant flag.

"Hey!" Lyra snapped, pulling her mouth off Hoity-Toity's cock and turning to glare at Dash's dad, "you forgot to eat garlic first! Eat some garlic and cum around again!"

Hoity-Toity came on Lyra's forehead and in her eyes. She yelped and wiped her face.

Dash moved to talk to Starlight in the corner and Dash's parents moved to the opposite corner, where her mom licked the glaze of mixed sloppy seconds, thirds, and thirty-sevenths off Dash's dad's cock as he crunched a bulb of garlic.

What a weird family.

Caramel—whom I'd known since we were both in elementary school—next approached me.

"Bon-Bon," he said.

I flicked my tail in greeting, Fancy Pants's cock still in my mouth. I sucked, licked, and pulled my head back, letting my teeth lightly scrape along his shaft and against the ridge of his glans. Fleur de Lis watched judgingly from the doorway, seeming to evaluate my technique.

Fancy Pants then shuffled off to Lyra.

"Hey," Caramel said, leaning in to whisper in my ear, "Can I ask a favor?"

I looked at him and noticed he barely had the beginnings of an erection, quite limp. "Sure," I said. After the night I'd had, I couldn't imagine anything that would make it worse.

"Can I fuck your ass and pretend you're Fancy Pants? I'm kinda..." Caramel dipped his head, looking under my tail. "I'm kinda vagina-skeptical."

It was a loooong night.

Caramel probably had the biggest cock of any of the stallions (not counting Gallus, he being a cat-bird) that night, so obviously he was the one who wanted my ass. At least he brought his own bottle of lube and used plenty of it. He slid right in, slick and smooth, and I gasped as his massive girth split my ass wide. He didn't try to delve deep, but just let the ridge of his glans catch on the inside of my anus, rocking forward and backwards gently. It felt really good, the stimulation focused on my sensitive ring of muscle, his cock velvety soft over the rock-hard core. He bit my ears and called me Fancy Pants in a desperate whisper.

The actual Fancy Pants came deep down Lyra's throat and Fleur escorted him from the library, adjusting his ascot with her magic.

I decided that, in a few days, when everything was back to normal, I would suggest to Lyra that since Caramel was gay and Lyra and I were lesbians, it wouldn't be too weird if we invited him over sometime. Lyra enjoys a nice big strap-on up her ass, and she probably wouldn't mind Caramel calling her Fancy Pants...

But that was a topic for later.

It was a long night.

But morning was coming up soon. We finally had the queue down, so I was flat on my belly on the crystal floor while Lyra humped the last stallion in line. Lyra and I were both exhausted. We exchanged a tired smile as Burnt Oak made a final, deep thrust into her pussy and came, shouting "Raise my barn!"

He and Lyra both stood in a half-inch deep puddle of cum and the library stunk so horribly of garlic I feared they would need to flame-sterilize the whole room. Twilight wouldn't approve of a book burning, but it seemed like the only option for the stench.

Lyra flopped down on her left side in the pool of cum, closing her eyes and resting momentarily.

And, darnit, it seemed like my mere act of thinking of Twilight...

She appeared in a teleport, a sharp bang-flash. She was as tall as Luna by that time, well on her way to her eventual Celestian size. Three stallions stumbled away from her, dazzled by the teleport. Her brother, Shining Armor, I recognized. A second stallion was Twilight and Shining's father, Night Light. The third was a scrawny earth pony with a blond mane.

"We came as soon as we could!" Twilight exclaimed.

Starlight explained the situation.

"Yup, what I expected," Twilight replied. She turned to the scrawny one. "Star Tracker? My prostate."

"What, what?" I asked.

Twilight had a dick, I noticed. Glowing softly with lavender radiance, it was clearly a temporary magical appendage. It was, thank goodness, not cartoonishly huge, as the other magical marecocks I'd seen in the past had been, but instead just a normal size. The scrawny earth pony clambered up on her rump, his rear legs not even touching the ground, and crammed his dick into Twilight's ass. "Unh-unh-unh," he grunted, pumping rapidly. Twilight's magical marecock got harder with each of his thrusts and Twilight chewed on several garlic bulbs.

Shining Armor and Night Light approached me. I shook my head and stood up, presenting my rump to her dad. Shining Armor said, "Sorry," and hopped up on my withers. I pulled his cock in and started sucking as their dad mounted me. Both of them crunched garlic loudly.

Lyra heaved herself to her hooves once more and presented to Twilight, who stuck the magic marecock into Lyra while the small stallion—Star Tracker, she had said—continued unf unf unf into Twilight's butt.

Shining Armor and Twilight's dad were both medium-large sized, cock-wise. I sucked and nibbled at Shining's cock, trying to get him hard without making him cum. I assumed he didn't want to put his cock into Lyra's mouth until Twilight was finished—spitroasting somepony with your sister just seemed weird to me—so I took it slow and didn't wind him up too fast.

Twilight's dad, however, was really good. He leaned low, resting his cheek against my spine, and his thrusts were long, slow, and confident. He was certainly on the upper side of middle age, but his cock was as hard as any I'd felt that night. My eyes widened and I accidentally sucked in a breath as his balls slapped into my clit, but instead of a breath I sucked in Shining Armor's cock and he whinnied at my accidental deep-throating.

Shining started with short, soft thrusts, fucking my throat, and I was careful to breathe through my nose on his retreating motions. Night Light, meanwhile, settled into a new rhythm of slow out and hard in, crushing my G-spot and slapping his balls into my clit, nuzzling my ribs and nibbling my back, and I felt the buried, frustrated, orgasms I hadn't been able to achieve all night rising from the dead, my pussy clenching on him, my uterus beginning to thrum with his rhythm and my knees trembling. I sucked harder on Shining and started humping backwards in time with Night Light's thrusts.

My clit tingled and my labia trembled with engorging blood, my long-sought orgasm finally, finally building, and—

Twilight came into Lyra and accidentally teleported away. Star Tracker—still balanced on Twilight's rump when she disappeared—shouted and fell, landing with a splat on the puddle of leaked cum on the library floor.

Night Light pulled out and ran to Lyra. So did Shining.

I pounded a forehoof on the floor, screaming in frustration as my pussy clenched on empty space and the massive itch that was my almost-orgasm once again remained unscratched.

Night Light came in Lyra's pussy and Shining in her mouth. Star Tracker crunched a garlic bulb and took Night Light's place. I watched as he stuck his dick into Lyra's ass and quickly came, my own ass spasming in sympathy as I wished for anything to let me finally get off!

The first rays of the rising sun poked through the east window of the library.

Lyra coughed up a wad of Shining's cum and walked, slowly, deliberately, across the library, towards the sunbeam, cum dripping from her pussy and ass and leaving a trail across the library.

I sidled towards a wooden chair from which I could quickly break a leg and fashion a makeshift stake. It wouldn't be my wife, I reminded myself, as terror grabbed me, my heart racing and my body turning cold. If it—it, not her—screamed and drew back from the sun, it wasn't my wife anymore, and I would stake is so fast it wouldn't know what hit it—

She stepped into the sunlight and closed her eyes, enjoying the warmth.

"It worked," she said.

I sighed and, on shaky hooves, walked to her. "It worked," I agreed, throwing a foreleg over her shoulders. "I love you."

"I'm going to go take a shower," she said. "I'll see you at home. Love you, too, but... I could use a little privacy."

"I understand. We'll meet at Redheart's clinic, and get every prophylactic potion she's got."

Lyra laughed. "Okay, yeah. Redheart opens at nine o'clock."

I left the castle and walked a lap around the grounds.

The rising sun cast long shadows and warm light. As I circled around, I found Gallus sitting on a bench at a picnic table.

"Hey," I said, sitting on the bench opposite him.

"Hmmpf." He fluffed his feathers.

"I'm sorry," I said.

"Yeah, yeah."

"I stand by my decision," I said. "Your dickbarbs would have hurt Lyra."

"It's not my fault."

"I, on the other hoof," I said, "am now on my own time, and I've got about a bazillion almost-orgasms I need to get out. Wanna go?"

He squawked and looked at me.

"Look," I said. "I just fucked... five hundred stallions? And not one of them got me off."

"You're going to give me performance anxiety."

"I'm fucking somecreature in the next five minutes," I said. "You get first dibs, but I'm not asking twice."

He drummed his talons on the table for about ten seconds. "Okay, sounds good. But, uh my place isn't, uh, clean?" he said. "Your place in town, maybe?"

"Right here," I replied, walking around the picnic table to him and biting him firmly where his neck met his shoulder, the soft feathers tickling my lips.

He squawked. "In public? In front of the castle?"

"After the night I just had? I might never make love in private again."

He did have a point—several ponies, including Feather Bangs and Big Mac—were quietly watching us.

I didn't care. I brushed the fur of his left arm with a hoof. "We're both blue. Right here, right now, or I find somepony else."

He squawked. "Okay. Here, now, okay."

I pushed with my forehooves and his butt slid off the bench, down to the grass. I kept pushing, knocking him flat on his back, until I stood, looming over him.

"So, you're going to be on top?" he said.

"You talk too much." I paused and narrowed my eyes. Sitting down had been a mistake—I hadn't peed since before the whole garlic-garnished gala of general ghastly ghoulish gaiety began, and the acts of having sat, rested, and then stood up again left my bladder screaming in alarm.

Eh, I could hold it.

I leaned down, kissed him on the beak, and gave him a little bit of tongue. Balancing on three legs, I reached with a rear hoof and found his ballsack. Heavy, firm, covered in soft fuzz, it throbbed with his heartbeat and I rolled it against his underside as we kissed. His tongue played with mine. He still tasted like garlic but I didn't particularly care. I mean, my wife was likely to taste like garlic for weeks, so a little kiss wasn't anything.

Lowering my torso, I put my weight on him and felt his cock throbbing where it was caught between his belly and mine. Luna, it was big! I shifted my weight and pressed my vulva, still wet and sticky from all the stimulation from the hundreds of stallions and the two who had accidentally cum inside me, and rubbed my wetness against his balls.

They were huge, absolutely giant testicles. Heat radiated up from him into my pussy and my belly, warming my rump from clit to dock to cutie marks. I pressed down harder until I squeezed his balls hard against his body and he gave a little unf! noise and then I backed off the pressure a little. His dick barbs caught on my fur, tiny little pricking sensations, and I could hear the juices from my pussy squelching into the fur and thick skin of his ballsack as I rubbed my vulva against his scrotum.

"I'm ready any time," he said.

Sitting up, shifting all my weight onto the base of his cock, my labia wet and sloppy on his pulsing ballsack, planting my forehooves on his sternum, I looked down at him. "Are you an ass-bird or a belly-bird?"

His claws gently touched my belly. The pricking of the talons through my coat sent wonderful shivers up and down my spine. His cock throbbed hugely below me, slapping against his belly with every beat of his heart.

Then, slowly, letting the tips of the talons drag through my coat, his claws moved. The sensation left trails of heat in my fur as the sharpness scraped my skin. I closed my eyes and gasped, the chill that ran from the nose down to my asshole was so sudden, so sharp, that I nearly peed on him. The fur from my shoulder blades to the base of my tail all stood on end, like a dog with its hackles raised, as gooseflesh took over my body.

His hands traced over my belly, a single claw scraped into my belly button, then down toward my throbbing, desire-besotted vulva, and his hands parted, brushing across my inner thighs, over my stifles, and grabbed around my cutie marks. He squeezed.

"Ass," he said. "I think with ponies, I like ass."

I raised myself a few inches and got all turned around, until my tail flopped over his belly and breast and I could plant my forelegs between his thighs. I squeezed tight around his flanks with my thighs, kneeling on the grass.

He grabbed my tail, lifting it, and exposing my anus and pussy to his view. I lifted my hips up another few inches and he used his other hand to aim his cock until it pressed against my opening.

"Guto!" he whispered. "You look good."

"Thanks," I replied, wriggling my hips back and forth to capture his tip between my pussylips, "but this is a one-time thing. Lyra and I are married and back to monogamy after this. So unless I get bitten by a vampony..."

His cock—huge, nicely blunted at the tip, which surprised me given the catlike spines—pressed against me as his heart pounded. I closed my eyes tighter and breathed deeply.

Then, I lowered myself, letting the big, throbbing slab of griffon fill me. He stretched me out. The sensation of my frustrated and tight pussy getting snowplowed sent wracking ecstasy up my spine and down my tail. He was so huge the insertion plowed into my clit and smashed my G-spot.

I settled my weight down, sitting astride his hips, and shuddered as the sensations filled me.

I looked over my shoulder at them and gave the crowd my sauciest, most seductive smile before raising my tail more and clenching my backside, knowing it would make my anus wink at them.

Big Mac, Feather Bangs, and several others who were watching us cheered, stomping their applause. Blossomforth and Flitter landed and tucked wings, staring at us, apparently trying to understand the situation. Smolder crossed her arms and frowned.

They applauded louder, and several cocks were poking out of sheaths.

His cock was hot, just burning. Did griffons have higher body temperatures than ponies? Or did his just have that much blood to keep something so huge so erect? He grunted and his cock jumped inside me as he clenched muscles.

"Eep," I squeaked as that sensation pressed against my G-spot even more firmly and the tip of his cock tapped my cervix. Sweat rolled down my forehead, between my eyes, and beaded at the tip of my nose, and the sensation of griffoncock filling me also pressed against my bladder. I really, really wished I peed first, but the sensation of the fullness from his size, the fullness of needing to pee, and the tight squeeze I was forced to hold on my muscles to avoid wetting him all combined into a massive, erotic tenseness inside my belly.

I gritted my teeth in anticipation and stroked up.

His dickbarbs scraped down the velvety softness of my vagina, and red flares filled my vision as the sensation filled my whole body. It hurt, yeah, but as the barbs raked across my G-spot and my channel and the sensation faded as I rose to the top of the stroke, it also drove a huge shiver of pleasure up my spine and down to my hooves. All four legs shook and my tail vibrated and I just held position, at the top of my motion, his glans just barely caught between my labia.

Panting, sweat running down my face and wetting my spine, my whole belly spasming with the aftershocks of the painful-pleasureful scratching, I just held position.

He yanked up on my tail with one hand, just hard enough to hurt, and rubbed my asshole with the pad of his thumb.

The yank, a new and different shock of pain just as the scraping-raking of his dickbarbs faded, combined with the stimulation of my asshole after the hours of frustration—Caramel had been darn enticing, I'll give him that, and I wouldn't have minded him hitting me harder in the ass except for Lyra's emergency—all the sensations combined, my hours of buildup without release, everything just came together and I felt a snap in my womb and it spread across my body and...

And...

And I started cumming.

I slammed my hips down and took his huge, throbbing cock in an instant. His grip on my tail pulled even harder, a shot of agony up my spine as his huge tip plowed my pussy open, stretching me, the ridge of his glans and his medial rings crushing my G-spot again and his tip slammed into my cervix and his huge, giant, wonderful balls slammed into my clit. His cock clobbered my full bladder and I squeezed even harder so I didn't piss and that tightening of my muscles just made the orgasm ever more powerful!

My entire body spasmed as my pussy clenched and he shouted as I squeezed hard on him, his cock jumping inside me. I pistoned back up, fast, and the pain of his scraping dickbarbs was no longer pain, it just took my rising orgasm and added to it, the agony now pure pleasure, and at the top of my stroke I slammed down again, pistoning as fast as I could.

Eyes closed, I put most of my weight onto my forelegs, planted on the ground between his rear legs, and humped as hard as I ever had in my life, fast, desperately, pussy juice and the sloppy seconds from earlier stallions squelching loudly as my hips slapped down onto him splap-splap-splap-splap.

Behind me came a shout I recognized as Flitter's voice, followed by Feather Bangs singing off-key. Having kicked off an orgy just added a little more fire to my furnace. I loved the thought of my rutting Gallus making other ponies horny enough to fuck somepony they'd never met before, right out in public.

My pussy spasmed and my muscles clenched, from rear hooves, up my hips, across my belly and back, up my spine, and I just mewled like a lost kitten as the sensations battered me.

Gallus let go of my tail and stopped rubbing my asshole and clenched around my love handles, just above my hips, claws prickling my skin, the pain sharp and wonderful and erotic and he slammed my hips down hard, the strength in his scrawny arms surprising and he held me impaled on his cock. I tried to piston back up but he just held me in place. Suddenly he flared, his huge cock doubling in size, the spines all standing on end and locking me in place and his tip jumped where it rubbed my cervix and hot pressure, like a magma chamber filling beneath a volcano, exploded deep in my belly and I felt muscles straining as he filled me, a giant load of scalding cum, but his dickbarbs were engaged like the barbs in a harpoon and I couldn't move at all.

He just kept cumming, huge spurts, his balls throbbing against my engorged clit, and his cum couldn't leak out because his flared cock was completely plugging me. The pressure of the burgeoning load of cum just swelled my belly, ever so slightly, and pressed up on my womb. I gasped at the strange ache as he completely filled me.

We just held that position, still, both of us panting, and I looked over my shoulder and saw Feather Bangs railing Flitter up the ass. "Shut up stop singing just fuck quietly," Flitter was saying.

I shifted, sitting up straight, my weight on my rear knees and his hips. His body collapsed against the ground. Slowly, his cock softened, and I could feel the individual pricks as each barb disengaged individually from the soft velvet of my vaginal walls. I frowned momentarily at each one, since now, with my orgasm spent and my pent-up desire dissipated, I could feel every little sensation.

After a minute or two, his cock softened, no longer erect at all, and I stood. Looming over him, the biggest single wad of cum I'd ever seen in my life slid out of me and landed on his ballsack.

"Wow, next time, we'll just feed you garlic. That's worth ten stallions."

"Wow," he said. "Thanks. I was hoping my first time would be good."

I stared at him. "Wait, really?"

He nodded, an arm over his eyes to block the rising sun. He started snoring.

I ran to the nearest bushes, the sensation to pee overwhelming, and just barely made it in time.

Author's Note

Comments are appreciated!

Chapter Two: High Stakes

I kicked the vampony, my left-front hoof smashing into its throat, a satisfying crunch as I crushed its larynx. Its red eyes widened and it lunged at me, fangs snapping on empty air as I dodged.

We both landed, rolling on the slate tiles of its burial chamber, and we hit the obsidian plinth that held its coffin.

It gasped, a cry of terror and pain escaping its lips, as it looked at its chest.

"Got you, you motherfucker," I snarled. The sharp wooden stake protruded from its heart.

The creature collapsed, limp, and I dragged it by its tail from the underground tomb complex to the dusk light of the Everfree. As I dragged the body into a sunbeam, it burned to ash.

"All right, Lyra," I said. "Revenge, served cold."

My whole body flamed with aches and pains. I was out of shape, too many soft years in Ponyville without any monster hunting.

A particularly sharp pain seemed to emanate from my neck—

I touched it and saw blood on my hoof when I drew it back from the twin puncture wounds.

"Oh, Lunadammit, not again!"

THE END

Author's Note

Comments are appreciated!