Sunset Shimmer Meets the Last Woman on Earth (Sunset Discovers the Robot Apocalypse)

"Holy fucking SHIT WAKE UP WAKE UP WAKE UP OH GOD SUNSET!"

Sunset jerked awake. The first thing she noticed was a dozen weird spider machines, each about the size of a human head, crawling towards her and Sunrise.

Sunrise grabbed Sunset's hand and pulled her to her feet. "We've got to go NOW!"

"What about my pack? My--"

Sunrise grabbed Sunset's carryall bag and slung it over her shoulder. She ran away from the spiderbots as she shouted, "Come back for your other stuff later! Those things will KILL YOU! Or EVEN WORSE!"

Sunset trotted towards Sunrise. Sunrise helped her friend get up on top of a stone wall, and climbed up beside her. "They might have thought they had us cornered against this wall." Sunrise searched the landscape on the other side for threats. "I think this will buy us a LITTLE time?" She jumped down from the wall, landing with an "Oof!"

She shouted, "Come on, we've got to GO!"

Sunset followed her new friend down the other side of the wall, and into the grove where Sunrise had gathered wood last night. Sunset whispered, "Is it ok to talk?"

"Yes, whispering might be better than talking. Just in case. But for now, let's try to save our breath. We might need it."

"How long does it take to outrun those things?"

"I don't know. I've never met so many at the same time before. And if they're here, there might be others, too. OH FUCKING--"

A spiderbot reared up out of the weeds, and wrapped itself around Sunset's ankle.

Sunset stood on that leg while she kicked at it with her other. "Let go of me, you piece of--"

The machine said, "WARNING! IMPACT SENSITIVE FUSE ACTIVATED. DO NOT KICK. KICKING MAY ACTIVATE BOMB EARLY."

"Yeah," Sunrise said. "Better stop kicking it. But I think this gives me a chance to try something. Be back shortly." She ran impressively fast, back towards the stone wall.

A minute later, she vaulted the wall and stood on the near side, facing the way she'd come. "Duck!" she shouted, and hunched down to take shelter behind the wall. A series of explosions on the far side blew dirt, pieces of wood, and a few rocks into the air. A fragment of something whizzed past Sunset's head.

"Woo-hoo!" Sunrise said. "Fuck those fucking fuckers! Blow them to nowhere!"

Sunset stared. "What the buck did you just do?"

Sunrise showed her teeth. "I decided these were probably all the same type, most likely type sevens. So I took a calculated risk, and helped them detonate early." She frowned. "Why, aren't you happy?"

The robot clamped around Sunset's ankle said, "ATTENTION! I AM AN EXPLOSIVELY ARMED FREEDOM FUNDRAISER ROBOT TYPE SEVEN A. TO AVOID HAVING YOUR LEG BLOWN OFF IN A TRAGIC COLLATERAL DAMAGE INCIDENT, YOU MUST MAKE A PAYMENT OF FIVE HUNDRED ANON-A-MINT-COINS OR EQUIVALENT VALUE IN OTHER ACCEPTABLE CURRENCY. THE DEADLINE IS TWENTY-FOUR HOURS FROM NOW."

"What the buck?" Sunset said.

Sunrise said, "They're ransombots."

"Why is it doing this?"

"Well...near the end, it got hard to figure out who or what all the sides were, so I'm not quite sure. I guess either someone wanted to get rich, or someone wanted to hurt whoever they thought was on the other side, or some of both. Maybe they wanted money to buy more weapons? Or parts to make more weapons?"

"This world is really bucked up."

"I know. That's why everyone's dead." Sunrise leaned back against the wall. "Maybe you have an old biometrics-secured cryptocurrency account and you just forgot about it. Ask the machine if it can read your iris and voiceprints."

"My EYES? That sounds really creepy."

"Just look down directly at it, and ask. It's better than losing a leg."

"This is so wrong," Sunset muttered angrily. She looked down at the antipersonnel bot. "Can you read my iris and voiceprints?"

A beam of light shone up into Sunset's face. "Ouch! That's too bright!" She closed her eyes as she turned her face away.

"IRIS NOT RECOGNIZED IN PAYMENT DATABASES. VOICEPRINT MATCH IS QUESTIONABLE. PROBABLE ATTEMPT TO SPOOF BIOMETRICS DATABASE DETECTED. ASSESSING TIME PENALTY. NEW DEADLINE: TWENTY-TWO HOURS AND FIFTY-FIVE MINUTES REMAINING."

"That's not fair! It's not my fault! I didn't DO anything!"

"TWENTY-TWO HOURS AND FIFTY-FOUR MINUTES REMAINING. PRAY I DO NOT ALTER THE DEAL FURTHER. HA HA."

"Fuck," Sunrise said. "That thing is defintely on Team Evil. The programmer even KNEW it."

Sunrise slumped down against the wall. "Sunset? Do you trust me?"

"I don't bucking know. I literally just met you a couple days ago." She sighed. "But I guess you're the best friend I've got in this world. Why?"

"I want to go get help."

"I thought you said there WASN'T any help. Everyone's dead, remember?"

Sunrise pursed her lips. "I might not have wanted to tell you absolutely everything. Like if I knew about one or two robots somewhere that maybe weren't evil, I would still want to start by warning you to stay away from robots, not by trying to teach you to how to pick out the rare robot that maybe WON'T try to kill you."

"I thought all the robots were evil killing machines."

"Umm...mostly. But I don't want you to get your leg blown off. No working hospitals anymore, remember? Just...um...I'll be back as soon as I can."

"Go. And good luck, I need it."

"Thanks." Sunrise ran away.

Sunset watched until she couldn't see Sunrise anymore. "Buck. This is the worst world I've ever seen."

"TWENTY-TWO HOURS AND THIRTY MINUTES REMAINING. IF YOU HAVE ANY RESOURCES YOU CAN CALL UPON TO MAKE YOUR FREEDOM CONTRIBUTION, THIS WOULD BE AN EXCELLENT TIME TO DO SO."

"You know what? If you explode and kill me, I'll almost be HAPPY that you did it. Because then I won't have to listen to you anymore. And I guess you'll destroy yourself too, which will make this world a little bit better without you in it."

"YOUR EXPRESSION OF SUPPORT FOR THE STRUGGLE IS HEARD AND APPRECIATED. LONG LIVE FREEDOM!"

"Buck you too."

***

An hour later, Sunrise's voice said in the distance, "I hope we still have enough time. The fucking bot already cut her time ONCE before I left, just because it couldn't recognize her biometrics. As if there's anyone in this world who hasn't lost a hand or an eye or something."

Another voice replied, but Sunset couldn't tell what it was saying. She could, however, hear people or robots or something rustling the weeds or bushes all around her.

"Sunrise!" she shouted. "I think I'm surrounded! It might be a trap!"

Sunrise shouted back, "Don't worry! It's OUR trap! Twenty-two, is that you?"

A voice very like Sunrise's shouted from somewhere in the bushes, "It's me! And eighteen, and all the others!"

"Ok," Sunset said. "This is interesting."

"TWENTY-ONE HOURS AND THIRTY MINUTES REMAINING. IF YOU HAVE ANY RESOURCES YOU CAN CALL UPON FOR HELP MAKING YOUR FREEDOM PAYMENT, PLEASE DO NOT DELAY." The grip around Sunset's ankle tightened a little.

"It's getting tighter! I don't know if I'm even going to still have a foot twenty hours from now!"

"You won't have to wait that long!" Sunrise yelled back. "But you're going to have to trust me."

"What choice do I have?"

"I don't know! But I believe there's always a choice, even if some of the choices are kind of stupid!"

Sunset laughed. "I guess that's true. Like I could have chosen to kick this robot until it goes off early."

Sunrise came around the stone wall. "I think I can do this." She held up a little box. "It's a debugging tool." She trotted up and crouched beside Sunset. With a "click," she pressed the box against the ransombot. "Ok! I'm ready to start the command network key attack!"

Sunset looked down at the top of Sunrise's head. "Is this really going to work?"

"It might take a while. But I think it will. Model Seven A has several documented network vulnerabilities. We've had years to build our catalog. But hacking the key might take a few hours."

"Less than twenty, I hope?"

Sunrise nodded. "Definitely less than twenty." With the hand that wasn't holding the box, she patted Sunset's leg.