Reliving Every Word I Heard
Celestia let out a weary sigh as she lowered the sun. It had been a particularly taxing day, and even though she would have liked to just sit upon the balcony and relax in the soothing warm rays of the afternoon sun, she knew she had a schedule to follow and a nation to rule. So she lowered the sun without complaint, guiding the bright golden orb down the curve of the sky just as she always did, the sun painting a trail behind it in vibrant hues of red, orange, and blue.
Soon the entirety of the sun was hidden beneath the western horizon, Celestia having made sure that no stray streaks of sunlight peeked back into the sky. As the last of the daylight disappeared, stars took their place, the sparkling specks of light adorning the black canvas of the night.
Then came the part of the evening Celestia dreaded the most.
She turned towards the east and lit her horn once more, feeling for the astral body waiting its turn. She felt her magic brush over the cold sphere, and then Celestia dragged it upwards. Gritting her teeth, she struggled against the weight, the moon resisting her pull as if being weighed down. Sweat trickled down her forehead as she furrowed her brow. She involuntarily shivered as her magic continued to touch the icy light, and she had to will herself to maintain the connection as she finally felt the moon begin to move from its place.
The full moon revealed itself from under the horizon, the final addition to the night sky complete. The dark shadow of the Mare in the Moon haunted the sphere's surface, her empty gaze silently watching Equestria and its sleeping ponies.
Celestia looked up at the moon for a long time, unable to get the words she so longed to say past the lump that formed in her throat. It was a few minutes later that she finally managed to croak out the apology she had never been able to make in person. “I’m so sorry, Luna….”
The night remained silent, the lack of noise deafening Celestia and blocking out the peaceful chirps of crickets. All she could hear was the crushing silence, full of contempt and hatred, her sister told back to her.
Celestia sighed. “Sweet dreams, sister….”
Silence.
Celestia turned away, tears at the corners of her eyes as she slowly headed back to her chambers. She looked at the bed that awaited her, shuddering as memories of past nightmares came into her head.
…
“Did you really expect me to sit idly by while they all basked in your precious light? There can only be one princess in Equestria, and that princess will be ME!”
…
Twisted, joyous laughter rang through the throne room, the black alicorn standing tall and proud before Celestia.
…
Tears welled in Celestia’s eyes as she made her decision. “I’m so sorry, sister… but you left me no choice.”
…
The two alicorns’ horns lit up at the same time, Nightmare Moon striking with all her might just as a ray of rainbow magic stretched out from the Elements of Harmony. The beams collided, the shockwave spreading out from their impact. Bits of stray magic crackled and sputtered as the sisters pushed against each other, caught in a tug of war that would seal their fates.
Through her tears, Celestia saw Nightmare Moon’s pupils shrink as the beam from the Elements neared her. The light struck her, and at that very moment, Celestia saw her sister’s eyes turn back into Luna’s, into those twinkling, ocean-blue eyes that always looked into hers with mischief and love in their childhood.
This time, however, they contained no mischief. Tears blurred the clear cyan as sorrow and regret erased the last traces of jollity Luna carried. Celestia reached out a hoof to the pony that was and always will be her baby sister. She wanted to hold Luna tight, to tell her that she was sorry and everything would be alright.
A flash of rainbow colors exploded around her. Celestia cried out, reaching for her sister even as her body was pulled back. She never took her eyes off of her sister’s, trying to tell her everything but unable to say anything.
The colors became blindingly bright, covering everything away from Celestia’s eyes. The light left burning afterimages on her retina. As the magic dissipated, Celestia saw her hoof, still outstretched towards where her sister was.
Nothing remained.
…
Celestia wiped away a stray tear trickling down her cheek. She looked at the bed once more. The well-made sheets and the soft pillows were inviting her. She didn’t move.
Go on, her conscience whispered in her ear, get some sleep. You’ll need it for tomorrow.
Celestia took a deep breath and steadied herself as she put one hoof in front of another towards her bed. Soon enough, she slid in beneath the sheets. As she laid her head upon the soft pillows, the fatigue built up from her long day washed over her, and before she knew it, Celestia headed off into the dreamscape.
Celestia walked slowly down the long hallway towards the throne room. She had just finished her meeting with delegates from Yakyakistan, and to her satisfaction, it had gone to her preference. She had seen the representatives off on their way, maintaining her smile even as they smashed up the floor tiles on their departure.
The sun shone through the stained glass windows lining the walls, bathing the halls in a majestic display of colors. Shades of red, yellow, and blue swam around the castle's interior, bringing a smile to Celestia’s muzzle. It always made her happy to see her sun shining and filling the world with light.
As she entered the throne room, her gaze moved to the two thrones side by side: Luna’s on the left and Celestia’s on the right, with banners boasting their respective symbols behind them. Celestia’s thoughts shifted towards her nocturnal sister.
A sigh escaped her lips as the memories of last night surfaced.
…
“Luna? Could we talk for a moment?”
Luna turned to meet her sister’s eyes. Icy blue pierced into magenta. “What is it, sister?” Luna said flatly, but her tone carried a certain ire to it, like the edge of a well-sharpened blade.
The fact that Celestia did not miss.
“It’s about the aurora borealis event you had scheduled for your upcoming birthday.”
Luna’s face lit up. “Ah, yes! We have been very excited to show our ponies the majestic lights of the north! Imagine, sister, ponies looking up at the night sky as curtains of red, green, and purple decorate the heavens! I imagine our subjects would be in awe, busy staring up at the display—”
“I believe it will be best if we put it off for now.”
Luna’s smile evaporated. “Excuse me?”
Celestia looked at Luna. "We have delegates of the Yaks arriving on that day, Luna. You know how they are, and since they will be discussing territorial disputes between Yakyakistan and Equestria, we need to act diplomatically. I can not run the risk of ruining the delegates’ mood.”
Luna lowered her head, brows furrowed. “When was this decided?” Her voice rang out in the empty hall, her trembling tone audible.
“A week ago.”
Luna’s head snapped up, anger flashing in her eyes. “A week? A WEEK? Celestia, you know I have been planning this for months! You know how much I was excited about this! And you—”
“Luna, you know how hard it is to convince the Yaks. I couldn’t simply reschedule the meeting because of your event—”
“IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE FOR MY BIRTHDAY!” Luna panted, glaring daggers at Celestia. “You know I scheduled it to be on my birthday for a reason! You know how much I’ve been feeling neglected, Celestia. I told you many times! When I proposed the idea of the northern lights show to you, you said it was a good idea. And now you’re telling me to cancel the event?”
“This isn’t a matter that can be negotiated, Luna! The lives of our subjects are at stake! You know how dangerous it is along the Equestria-Yakyakistan border—”
“You didn’t even try to adjust the schedule! You just sat there, accepting their requests without a single objection—”
“You know the Yaks are nigh inconvincible—”
“—while not even bothering to tell me about the change! We’re only a day out from the event, and now you decide to tell me of this development?”
“I tried! I tried to convince the Yaks. But they insisted that they hold a meeting tomorrow!”
Luna glared at Celestia, not speaking for a few moments. Then she whispered, “And why didn’t you tell me earlier?”
“I was trying to break the news as gently as possible, Luna. I was—”
“So you decided to hold the news from me until the day before the scheduled event? Is that how you gently break the news?”
“I-I was afraid of hurting your feelings,” Celestia managed to finish her words.
Luna stayed silent, her chest rising and falling as she breathed in a raging fury. “You are a coward, Celestia.”
“Luna—”
“You. Are. A. Coward! A coward, who is afraid to stand up to the Yaks, who is afraid to break her oh-so-fragile younger sister’s heart that she didn’t tell her the news she needs to know, who is afraid of running the risk of a single diplomatic failure—”
“That failure will lose us the lives of our subjects!”
“The least you could have done is alert me of this development in advance! But no, you had to tell me when it’s too late to cancel everything!”
“I told you, I was trying to not break your heart!”
Luna stopped her rant, intently staring into her sister’s eyes. When she spoke again, her voice was calm, collected, even cold. “Well, congratulations. You broke my heart anyway. Just like you’ve done for the past hundred years.” Then she lit her horn.
“Luna, wait—”
With a flash of light, Luna vanished. Celestia could only stare at where her sister once stood.
…
Celestia’s eyes drifted to Luna’s throne as she approached the dais. Please, Luna… I wish I could apologize.
Suddenly, Luna’s voice rang out into the open chamber below. “Not. Another. Step.” Her hoofsteps rang like iron upon the marble floor as she emerged, revealing herself from behind the Lunar throne.
Celestia stopped dead in her tracks. Her eyes widened as they met Luna’s. A chill traveled down her spine as she saw what those icy blue eyes held. Once full of mischief, love, and awe, those clear irises now only held contempt, resentment, and hatred. They glared down at her with an acidic gaze. Her teeth were bared in a snarl, her pulled-back lips and furrowed brows marring her usually smooth features.
Celestia opened her mouth to respond, but Luna cut her off. “Did you really expect me to sit idly by while they all basked in your precious light?” she snarled, venom dripping from her words.
“Luna, I—”
“There can be only one princess in Equestria, and that princess,” Luna said, slamming down onto the dais, “will be me!”
The dais splintered as dark shadows twisted out from unseen corners, slithering upwards and smothering the multicolored lights from the windows, pane by pane.
The room was enveloped in a shadowy void. An earsplitting thunder echoed through the hall, small jagged shards of rock falling from the dais as a rift began to climb upwards from between the thrones. It crept towards the stained glass above the seats and pulverized it.
A deadly hail of kaleidoscopic glass crashed down on both princesses. Celestia swiftly raised her wings to shield her eyes. Luna did not.
The glaring rays of sunlight poured in, momentarily blinding Celestia. Luna took no notice of this and slammed her wings down to propel herself into the air. Her mouth agape with horror, Celestia saw the moon rising along with its princess and obscuring the sun, the lesser sphere smothering the greater and blocking out all light.
Shadowy tendrils of magic surrounded Luna, a turmoil of twisting darkness engulfing her as the eclipse blazed crimson. Celestia could barely see Luna’s silhouette within the roiling mass, and could only stare, transfixed, as it shifted and warped, turning to black, and then finally a deep shade of indigo. There was a blinding flash, and from within, rang the hollow laughter of a pitch-black alicorn with a sparkling midnight blue mane and tail.
Nightmare Moon stood proud and tall, the sound emanating from her mouth a twisted parody of Luna’s joyous laugh. She let out a blast of raw power towards the ceiling, fragments crashing onto the floor and blocking her from Celestia’s view.
Celestia regained her composure and soared into the air above the dust cloud, only for Nightmare Moon to fire another beam of magic at her. Celestia leapt out of the way, the beam piercing another hole in the roof. She settled back onto the floor as more fragments fell to the ground. “Luna! What are you doing?”
“Showing you what you have ignored this whole time, sister.” Nightmare Moon replied, magic crackling at her horn.
“Enough of this! Luna, you must lower the moon! It is your duty!” Celestia shouted, her voice cracking as her heart lodged itself into her throat.
“Luna?” Nightmare Moon scoffed, looking down at Celestia with disdain. “There is no Luna. I am… Nightmare Moon. And now… I have one duty only: to destroy you!” Nightmare Moon screamed as she shot another beam crackling with lethal energy.
Celestia leapt up into the air, beating her wings frantically to get out through the gaping hole in the ceiling.
Nightmare Moon shot after her. “And where do you think you’re going?”
Celestia didn’t stop. Her heart pounded in her chest. Tears scattered from her eyes as reality caught up to her. Decades of negligence and apathy were now coming back to her, seeking the price of her actions. Celestia knew all too well what the cost was.
A filly once full of love and empathy, Luna was now a monster, filled with anger and hatred.
Her sister was gone. Only murderous intent remained.
Nightmare Moon flew towards Celestia at full speed. A deadly bolt shot past her. Celestia dove.
The ground neared. Nightmare Moon fired another iridescent blast of arcane energy. Celestia pulled up, dodging under the exploding archway.
Under the eclipse, they fought. The two alicorns weaved between towers bathed in eerie darkness, the blotted sun gleaming the last of its rays upon them.
Celestia panted as she pushed her body to its limits, sweat and tears cascading down her face. She wanted nothing more than for this nightmare to end, to wake up and see her sister’s smiling face as they greeted each other in the morning. But she knew that there was no waking up from this.
Pain. Celestia felt as if someone had bucked her in the chest. A spell hit her in the chest and knocked her out of the sky. The icy beam was searingly cold, her nerves on fire as she spiraled out of control and fell back down through the throne room’s shattered roof.
Celestia slammed into the cold stone floor, the impact knocking the wind out of her. Stunned and dazed, she could do no more than to lie on her back, looking up into the pitch-black sky, where countless stars twinkled.
They’re so pretty… like the stars in Luna’s mane… Celestia’s thoughts began to wander, the numerous dots blurring into white smudges as tears once again filled her eyes. What was wrong with me? Why couldn’t I see their, no, her beauty earlier? I’m so sorry, Luna…
Celestia heard the thrashing of wings, then the ominous clop of silver horseshoes on stone. She turned her head to see a pair of slender ebony legs. “Luna…”
A savage kick to Celestia’s muzzle. Celestia heard the sickening snap of her bones and let out a cry of agony as she clutched her nose.
Sparking blue magic suddenly strangled Celestia’s throat, lifting the princess into the air before the slitted blue pupils of the Nightmare. “Have I not told you,” Nightmare Moon snarled, putting her snout against Celestia’s, “that Luna is no more? Are you not only blind, but deaf as well?” She pinned Celestia against the wall. The alicorn gasped as her wind was knocked out of her, the impact shattering the tiles.
Celestia clawed at the magic, black spots appearing in her vision as her breathing was cut short. Nightmare Moon walked over to the powerless alicorn, sheer hatred pouring forth from her iridescent eyes.
“Luna…” Celestia choked out, tears pouring down her cheeks. “I’m so sorry, Luna….”
Nightmare Moon stopped in her tracks, her muzzle inches away from Celestia’s. “You’re sorry? You’re sorry? Don’t you dare lie to me, Celestia. I’m no longer the filly you used to look after. You’ve had so many chances to fix things, and yet you messed up every single one of them! If you were truly sorry, you would have been a better sister!
“How many times did I ask you to help ponies appreciate my nights? How many times did I ask you to add an astronomy course to that wretched school of yours? How many times did you actually accept my request, Celestia? You always put yourself and your nation as your top priority, while I, your only kin, was shoved aside. You even denied me of my birthday event! How could you ever—” Nightmare Moon paused before swallowing hard.
“I waited. I waited for over a century, Celestia! And has anything changed? Have you done any of the things I asked? You didn’t put any effort whatsoever into stopping things from coming this far, and now you’re sorry?” Nightmare Moon screamed in Celestia’s face, rage finally pouring over the edge as she punctuated every sentence with a blow to her sister’s skull.
She panted, glaring into Celestia’s eyes with murderous fury. “Was it so hard to help your sister? To put effort into helping me get out of that rut? I questioned myself for so long; ‘Why don’t my subjects love me? What am I doing wrong? Am I worse than my sister?’ If you helped me then, I wouldn’t have had to put the blame on myself for so long! Isn’t that what families do, Celestia? Supporting each other?”
Celestia didn’t say anything as tears streamed down her mangled face, sobbing silently as she lowered her head, unable to make eye contact with her sister.
“You were the only one I had left, Celestia. Even if all my subjects turned away from me and my nights, you shouldn’t have! And yet you did because I, your only sibling and family, wasn’t important enough for you!” Nightmare Moon panted furiously, and in her daze, Celestia thought she saw the glints at the corners of her eyes.
Nightmare Moon’s screams built to a crescendo. “And I don’t need a sister who deems everything to be of higher importance than her own kin!” She hurled Celestia across the room.
Celestia slammed into a large pillar. Her breath left her as she felt something snap within her back. She fell to the floor, motionless.
Nightmare Moon strolled over to the fallen alicorn, looming over her as her shadow engulfed Celestia’s trembling figure. “Any last words, Celestia?”
“I’m so sorry, Luna… I’m sorry for not being the sister you needed me to be…” Celestia hoarsely replied as tears silently poured down from her eyes.
Something shifted in Nightmare Moon’s eyes, and Celestia felt the smallest fluttering of hope in her chest as the fury etched into the younger sister’s face seemed to dissipate. But then Nightmare Moon scowled and applied pressure on Celestia’s chest. “Well, it’s too late for that now, isn’t it?” she said as she lit her horn once more.
“Luna, please—”
“Goodbye, Celestia.”
Nightmare Moon’s horn shone with an intense brightness, blocking out everything but the light from the spell. Celestia felt her demise rushing towards her, and in her final moments, she screamed her sister’s name for the last time—
…
“Luna!” Celestia shrieked as she sat up in her bed, the sheets tangling around her as she thrashed around in panic. Her breaths came in short gasps as she frantically looked around her surroundings, her heartbeat hammering in her ears.
Her breathing slowed as she saw the familiar sights within the dark: the ivory curtains around her bed, the gold and white sheets covering her body, and the pillows that she slept on every night. She reached out with her magic and opened the curtains, revealing the full moon. The surface was immaculate.
Celestia let out a sigh of relief as she dropped her head onto her pillows. Tears gathered in her eyes as a sob left her, and soon her body shook with every shuddering breath she took.
The doors of Celestia’s bedroom burst open, a midnight blue alicorn running into the room. “Tia! I heard you scream my name! Whatever is the matter?” Luna shouted as she rushed to Celestia’s side.
“Oh, Luna…!” Celestia sobbed as she pulled her younger sister into a hug, crying uncontrollably into her chest.
Luna didn’t say anything as she settled into Celestia’s bed and held her tight, softly patting her back with a hoof while gently stroking her billowing mane with the other. “Shh… it’s okay, Tia… ‘twas just a dream…” she whispered, gently comforting her sister.
Slowly but surely, Celestia’s sobs died down to gentle sniffles and shivers. She slowly raised her face from Luna’s chest and found Luna’s eyes gazing into hers.
“Do you feel better now, Tia?” Luna asked gently.
Celestia nodded, sniffling as she wiped the remaining tears from her face.
“Do you wish to talk about your dreams?”
Hesitantly, Celestia nodded for a second time. “I… I dreamt that… that I neglected you as the older sister… and… and because of that… you became jealous and fell to your darker emotions, and… and you turned into this monster and… and…” Celestia burst into sobs again, burying her face into Luna’s chest. Luna merely held her sister tight.
“It’s okay, Tia, it was just a dream…”
“But— but it felt so real! You releasing your anger upon me, watching you turn into Nightmare Moon, fleeing as that… that monster tried to kill me, even up to the moment she released that final spell to finish me off—”
“Shhh,” Luna whispered, putting a hoof to her sister’s lips. “It was only a nightmare, Tia. I did not see what monster I turned into, nor did I feel the pain you went through in that dream, but I can assure you that it wasn’t real, nor will it ever become real.” She gazed directly into Celestia’s eyes, her sapphire irises alight with feeling. “I’ll ensure you get a sufficient night’s sleep without any nightmares, Tia. Does that put your mind to ease?”
Celestia nodded. Luna lit her horn, and a warm blue aura wrapped around Celestia’s body as the lunar princess lulled her sister to sleep. As she did so, she gently hummed a tune, one Celestia knew so well.
“You are my Sunshine, my only Sunshine… you make me happy, when skies are grey… you never know dear, how much I love you… please don’t take my Sunshine away…” Luna draped a wing over Celestia’s withers, the feathery appendage serving as an extra blanket.
Celestia let out a soft giggle, then murmured, “Mother used to sing that song to us so often…”
Luna smiled and softly stroked Celestia’s nose. “Yes, and I have noticed that you fall asleep easily while digging deeper into Mother’s embrace.”
Celestia giggled again, shifting so she could feel more of her sister’s warmth. “Luna?” She murmured, stifling a yawn.
Luna paused her spell as she looked at Celestia. “Yes, Tia?”
“Promise me that you’ll be at my side when I wake up in the morning?”
Luna smiled at her sister. It was a soft, tender smile, one so familiar to Celestia. And yet somewhere in the back of Celestia’s mind, she felt something tugging at her heartstrings. “Of course, Tia. I’ll be here when you wake up, don’t worry.”
“Thanks Luna…” Celestia mumbled as her eyelids finally gave way.
Celestia’s eyes slowly opened as she felt lights shimmer across them. It wasn’t a sudden awakening like she had in the middle of the night; rather, it was a slow, calm journey back to the real world. Celestia sat up and looked around. She saw her familiar surroundings once again; the ivory curtains, the gold and white sheets, and the simple pillows depressed by hours of constant pressure.
“Luna?” Celestia groggily called out into the dusky darkness. “Luna?”
No answer.
Celestia’s heartbeat began to quicken, an uneasy feeling starting to mount inside her. It was then she noticed a glimmer of pale white light leaking through the cracks in her bedside curtains, illuminating the pillow her head had been on a few moments ago. Dread filled her insides; she knew that light, and she knew it meant only one thing. Celestia felt around with her magic, and once it came into contact with her curtains, carefully tugged them open.
The full moon hovered outside her window, hanging low over the western horizon. And upon it was the very symbol Celestia feared seeing the most.
Grey markings marred the clean white surface of the moon.
Celestia stared up at the moon, eyes wide as tears welled up in them again. Then she let out a strangled cry as she collapsed, her wings forlorn by her side. Strained sobs wracked her body as she flailed about, not caring whether the blankets got tangled up or torn as she threw her legs around and slammed her head against the pillows over and over.
When she finally ran out of energy, she lay quiet and still, curled up into a ball with a pillow clutched close to her chest. Her body shook with every cry as she wrapped her wings around herself, desperately seeking the condolence and warmth she had felt in her blissful dream. The warmth did not return, however, and all Celestia could do was to lie in bed, shivering and sobbing as she felt the cold emptiness envelop her in its deathly grasp.
And as the lone pony lay in her bed, draining herself with tears, burning lights began to emerge from the east, the dawn seeking guidance from the sole princess of Equestria.
Until The Day I Make It Right
Nightmare Moon’s horn shone with fury, blocking out everything but its ambient light. Celestia screamed her sister’s name for the last time—
“Luna!” Celestia shrieked as she jerked up in bed, the sheets tangling around her as she thrashed around in panic. Her breaths came in short gasps as she frantically looked around her surroundings, her heartbeat pounding in her ears.
She sighed heavily. It was the same dream again. She fell back onto her pillow, turned her head away from the door, and squeezed her eyes shut.
She knew what would happen next.
The doors of Celestia’s bedroom burst open, a midnight blue alicorn running into the room. “Tia! I heard you scream my name! Whatever is the matter?” Luna shouted as she rushed to Celestia’s side.
“Nothing.” Celestia sniffled. “Go back to your chamber, Luna.”
Hoofsteps neared Celestia’s bed. Celestia flattened her ears against her head, pressing her head onto her pillow.
A soft hoof caressed her back. Celestia flinched, pushing the touch away with her wing. “D-don’t…” she whimpered. “Please don’t…”
“Celestia, what’s wrong?”
That voice. That sweet, soft, damned voice. Yet Celestia knew it wasn’t her. It couldn’t be her. Her sister was on the Moon.
“Just, please go, Luna…” Celestia whispered, refusing to look at her. Every fiber in her body yearned to turn around, see her baby sister in the eyes, talk it all out, and cry her eyes out in her embrace. Yet she refused to do so. She couldn’t let hope betray her again.
A wing tenderly wrapped itself around Celestia’s waist. She tried to push it away, but…
“Please, Celestia, you can talk to me.” It was that voice again. That damned voice. Celestia knew it was fake. It had to be. How many times had she given in to her dream’s whisperings, only to wake up alone? How many times had she been betrayed by herself? She didn’t want to repeat that. Not this time.
“Celestia, please, talk to me.”
“I said leave me alone!” Celestia roared, shoving Luna away. The smaller alicorn fell to the floor, dumbfounded.
Celestia jerked up and bored into Luna’s eyes. “Why do you keep torturing me like this? I have had this dream for a thousand years! This same accursed dream, over and over, only to wake up and find that you’re gone! Countless times I would wake up with hopes of seeing you again, only to see that accursed mark on the Moon! I won’t be let down again!”
Silence filled the room, Celestia’s heavy breathing the only noise that could be heard. Then she lay back onto the pillows, turning away from her sister. She began to cry.
There was no response from her sister. Celestia felt her hopes soar, that she might have finally banished her tormentor.
Then a hoof gently caressed her mane. “I’m so sorry, Celestia.”
“Why?” Celestia whimpered. “Why do you do this to me? Did I not suffer enough? Was spending the last one thousand years in shame and guilt not enough torture? I can’t live with this nightmare forever, Luna… I can’t…”
Celestia’s body shook as her sobs hit her. She felt the soft sensation of a wing wrapping her, but she didn’t fight it. She didn’t want to fight it, yet she so badly wanted to.
Powerless.
“I’m so sorry, sister. I’m sorry I wasn’t there for all the torture you had to endure. I wish I could have been here by your side.”
“And yet you still aren’t,” Celestia choked out. “You’re just a figment of my nightmare.”
Luna sighed heavily. Her breath tickled the back of Celestia’s neck. And oh, how real it felt. Celestia hated this. She hated that her mind was constantly pulling tricks on her, that she kept having these nightmares every night.
“I do not know what I could do to alleviate you of this doubt and guilt, Celestia. Nor do I wish to force you to sleep, for it would be against my conscience to do so.” Luna stroked Celestia’s cheek, wiping the tears away.
“Please… just stop… just make it stop…”
Celestia couldn’t bear it. She wanted this nightmare to end, for the apparition next to her to disappear. Yet she wanted this to not end, for Luna to stay by her side through the night. She didn’t know what to do.
Luna was silent for a moment. “Very well, then,” she spoke, “I shall put you back to your slumber. Would that be helpful, sister?”
Celestia hesitated, then nodded. Her eyes refused to make contact.
Celestia heard the sound of Luna lighting her horn. The familiar warm blue light encased her, and Celestia felt the glory of sleep wash over her body. For once, Celestia did not feel at ease as her eyelids were pulled shut.
She felt despair.
…
Celestia’s eyelids slowly opened. Once again, she saw the familiar surroundings. The curtains around her bed, the pillows next to her, and the sheets covering her body. A ray of pale light shimmered upon her bed. Celestia sighed. Just another dream, wasn’t it?
Still, she turned around. The bed was empty, save for herself. Celestia squeezed her eyes shut. She should have known it would be a dream. It had been for the past thousand years. Yet the tears still found a way through her eyelids.
Deep in her sorrows, Celestia didn’t notice the shimmering sound of magic faintly leaking through the curtains. She didn’t notice the thin thread of moonlight move across the bedsheets, passing her head and torso before disappearing entirely. She didn’t notice hoofsteps approaching her bed and somepony opening the curtains.
A gentle touch caressed Celestia’s face from behind, dabbing at the streaks of teardrops falling down her cheeks. Celestia’s eyes snapped open, and she turned around.
Luna’s turquoise eyes shone brightly into Celestia’s, a genuine yet sad smile on her face. “Good evening, sister.”
Celestia only gaped at Luna. Her mind raced through all the possibilities. Was this another dream? Just another cruel joke her mind was pulling on her? Or was this her sister, whom she missed for a thousand years?
Luna did not say anything further, only continuing to gently stroke her sister’s face with a hoof.
“Is this…” Celestia began, but the words were stuck in her throat.
Luna caught on and finished the sentence for her. “Just another dream?” When Celestia nodded, Luna merely shook her head. “Nay, sister. This is all real, just as real as thou are.”
Celestia opened her mouth, then closed it. She opened it again, then closed it again. She couldn’t find the words to ask what she wished to ask. No, that wasn’t correct. She knew the words; she just couldn’t speak them aloud.
It felt like an eternity before Celestia could finally speak. “H-how… how can I—” Words failed to escape the confines of her throat.
Luna pulled Celestia into an embrace, holding her tight. “‘Tis alright, sister. ‘Tis alright…” she gently cooed, patting her sister’s back. “You wished to ask how you could trust me? You do not need to answer,” she quickly added. Celestia nodded.
Luna let out a quiet hum, thinking for a moment before realizing something. She let go of Celestia, getting out of bed and opening the curtains. Curious, Celestia slowly unfurled herself to watch what Luna was doing.
Luna pointed to the bedroom’s balcony doors. “Look, sister. I’ve put the Moon away for your Sun to take its place. It is your turn to take the sky.”
True enough, the sky was devoid of the Moon Celestia was so used to seeing after she woke up. Only the last traces of the stars shone in the slowly brightening sky.
As Luna silently gestured at her sister, Celestia closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Her horn lit up, and she felt her magic connect with the celestial she had been bonded to for millennia. Feeling the warmth of the sphere soothed her mind, and she gently guided the Sun upwards, raising it above the horizon and delivering another morning to her nation.
As she finished raising the Sun, Celestia turned to Luna, her lips trembling. “Luna, could you… could you come here, please?”
With a curious gaze, Luna made her way towards Celestia’s bed. Celestia pulled Luna into a tight hug as she neared, holding onto her as if her life depended on it. She cried, burying her face into Luna’s chest.
“I-I missed you so mu-huch!” she cried, unwilling to let her little sister go. Her sister, the one she would never give up for anything on Equus. The one she sent to the Moon for a thousand years, leaving her trapped up there with nothing but anger and hatred. “I’m-I’m so s-s…sor-ry…”
Luna quietly held her sister, letting Celestia hug her as much as possible. She gently patted Celestia on the back, softly cooing and stroking Celestia’s mane. She knew the pain. She knew that remorse. She knew how trivial the tears seeping into her coat were to the solitude, void, and emptiness her sister had felt every night for a thousand years.
A thousand years she desperately wished she could take back.
As the Sun ascended, Celestia’s sobs steadily died down, from tearful cries to sniffles, then finally to shivers and deep breaths.
Luna didn’t let Celestia go from her embrace. Nor did Celestia seem keen on leaving her sister’s hug as she nestled ever deeper into the warmth she missed so dearly.
They remained in silence. They didn’t need to talk. They knew what they had missed, and they were none too happy to simply keep company for each other.
“Do you feel better, Celestia?” Luna softly asked.
Celestia nodded. She nuzzled into Luna’s chest, rubbing her tears on her dark blue coat.
“You are spoiling my fur, Tia,” Luna teased.
Celestia didn’t respond, merely relishing in her sister’s presence. Luna simply let out a hum and readjusted herself.
A pause. “Tia?” Luna asked.
A muffled “Hmm?” came from Luna’s chest.
“How long… How long have you had these nightmares?”
Celestia didn’t respond. Her body shivered as she tried to answer, but the words got stuck in her throat again. She swallowed back tears as she managed to croak, “A… about a thousand years. Shortly after I… I sent you… away.”
“I’m so sorry, sister. I didn’t know you had been hurting for so long—”
“Because you weren’t here,” Celestia replied softly. “You weren’t here when I was suffering for what I did. I-I shouldn’t have sent you to the Moon, I should have—”
“Shhh. None of that, sister. You did what you had to do. By sending me to the Moon, you saved Equestria and ponykind. Also, I am partly to blame since I didn’t watch over your dreams after I returned…” Luna trailed off, a somber tone melting into her voice.
“W-why didn’t you?”
“I was too immersed in my own guilt, sister.”
The answer had Celestia pull away from Luna, looking into her little sister’s sorrowful eyes through her tear-soaked vision.
“I presume you have heard about the Tantabus incident?”
Celestia shook her head. Luna took a deep breath and sighed, giving her sister a sad smile. She opened her mouth, then closed it. She opened it again, only to close it again. Finally, she said, “It is not something I am proud of, to be frank.”
Celestia looked into Luna’s eyes, curious and surprised by her confession. A sea of sorrows met her gaze, those ocean-blue eyes showing regret and wisdom.
“When I ventured forth into the dream realm for the first time after my return two years ago, I came face-to-face with the nightmares that plagued you.”
“You knew?” Celestia asked with wide eyes, bewildered by Luna’s words.
Luna nodded. “I did. And I did not do a single thing about it.”
“Why?”
“Because it was too painful to bear, sister.”
Luna took a deep breath once more, shuddering as the memories came to her mind. “The night I went into your dreams, I just stood there and watched as the nightmares ate away at your psyche. Watching myself turn into Nightmare Moon, chase after you with my sights on your neck, and ultimately kill you was…” Luna clenched her eyes shut, and a tear ran down her face. Celestia wiped it away with a tender hoof.
“S-sorry. ‘Tis… hard, having to recall such memories.”
“You don’t have to talk about it right now, Luna. We can discuss it another time.”
Luna shook her head. “Nay. I have already put it off long enough already. I will not delay this any further.”
She took in a deep breath, steadying herself before continuing. “T’was worse when I saw what came after the first nightmare was over. Your mind tried to create a small haven for you, trying to relieve you from the anguishes of your guilt. Knowing the pain you would have to endure once you awoke and unable to bear the beratings of my conscience, I fled. I turned a blind eye to your suffering, desperately trying to forget what I had seen. But the things I saw and done followed me to my dreams, and I began plaguing myself with nightmares.
“After all, didn’t I deserve it? I would have plunged Equestria into an eternal night had I not been stopped twice, and even after that, I deliberately ignored your cries for help. I believed that if I suffered the same predicaments that tortured you, it would alleviate the wrongs I was committing and lessen my guilt.” Luna smiled bitterly. “I was mistaken.
“So I created the Tantabus, a creature designed to feed on one’s fears in their dreams. I asked for it to do its worse every night. It fed on my nightmares and grew until it escaped.” Luna paused, looking at Celestia.
Celestia didn’t say anything; she merely stared back at her younger sister, a look of shock and sorrow on her face. Finally, she managed to ask, “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I didn’t want to put even more of a burden on your soul,” Luna replied, lowering her head in shame. “Of course, ‘twas a rash decision to do so. Conversing about it with you would have alleviated these sufferings of ours.”
Celestia gently wrapped a wing behind Luna’s head. “So what happened to the Tantabus?”
“First, it invaded the dreams of the Element Bearers, then the rest of Ponyville. Then it tried to escape into the waking world, essentially turning it into a living nightmare for everyone.”
Luna shuddered as the memories of that night resurfaced. “It was terrifying to realize that I was threatening everypony’s lives again. I truly thought that I was no better than I had been as Nightmare Moon. I despaired that I could not escape from what I had been, that all my good efforts and friendships were for naught.
“If it weren’t for Twilight Sparkle, I almost let my guilt feed the Tantabus and help it escape. Her words helped me realize that the fact I was feeling sorry for my actions proved that I was not Nightmare Moon, and that I will never become like her again.”
Luna paused. She gently gazed at Celestia, never breaking eye contact with her. “If there is anything I have learned from that incident, sister, it’s that staying in the past and regretting the choices you made does not help. Only when you learn from those mistakes and move forward can you improve yourself.”
Luna hugged Celestia tightly. “So please, Tia, I want you to let go of your guilt. We both know that we won’t repeat the mistakes we made a thousand years ago, when we were so young and naive.”
Celestia stayed silent for a long while, then slowly nodded. “Thank you, Luna. I-I’ll try to… to move on, like you said.”
Luna nodded. “Acknowledging your problems and having the willpower to try to fix them is halfway the journey. I’m glad you’re trying to become better, sister.”
“It won’t be easy, will it?”
Luna shook her head. “No. But I will be here for every step of the way.”
“Thank you, Luna.” Celestia snuggled deeper into Luna’s embrace. The lunar princess let out a soft chuckle, then pulled the covers over the two of them.
“By the way, sister, don’t you have day court?”
Without replying, Celestia pulled a piece of parchment and quill over. She scribbled a few words before magicking the scroll away. “The schedule for today’s morning has been cleared, so I think I can stay here for just a little longer.”
Luna giggled. “I see you haven’t changed since foalhood.”
Celestia giggled back. “Same goes to you, Luna. A thousand years and you’re still as foalish as you used to be.”
“Says the one who pushed all of her duties back!”
Their banter continued for a while, continuously getting laughter out of them. They settled down, and not long after, both were slipping away back to the dream realm, basking in the warm sunlight shining through the window.
Peace.
She knew she still had many turbulent nights ahead of her. But she also knew that she wouldn’t be alone. She wouldn’t have to shiver in her bed night after night, longing for warmth. Because that warmth lay next to her, wrapping her in all of its generosity.
For the first time in a thousand years, Celestia was not afraid to fall back asleep.
