It’s not like I was perfect, because if I was, I wouldn't have been doing this.
I was sitting in front of Starry Skye, a white earth-pony with a telescope for a cutie mark who had gone through the effort to hire me as an assassin eleven days prior. "So what did you call me here for, Skye? You're taking time away from what you hired me to do. I was intending to kill him tonight, but obviously this- whatever it is- is far more important."
“...forget him. Soarin is useless. I don't need him dead any more. I mean, you took your sweet time, didn't you?” Her deep, slow, deliberate breaths hinted at her impatience. Her deadline was two weeks and I still had three days left.
“...I don't like going to sleep with a guilty mind. I like to make sure I don't kill an innocent pony, understood?” I said, yawning to show how little I really cared.
Starry Skye shook her head. “You and your quirks. You may be the number one assassin in the Equestrian underground, but to me, you're slow. Nopony's innocent, no matter what you say. Don't bother wasting time 'confirming' some universal truth.”
“Don't rush perfection, milady. I'd rather sleep well at night, with no royal guards coming to knock at my door and no doubts to cloud my mind.” I got up from the chair in her living room, which was simply decorated and cozy in nature. “By the by, I'm keeping the twenty-thousand bit deposit. You canceled the assassination, so it's not my problem. I'll be leaving now.” I took several steps towards the door before she started to speak.
“I wasn't saying I didn't need your services. I still need you to kill somepony. Somepony... different,” she said, a bit nervous.
“... I don't deal with that kind of customer. Your whimsical nature... Indecisiveness about whom to target... Killing is permanent. There is no undo button, Skye. You'd do best to remember that. If you change your mind that easily about who you want dead, you'd better hope you're pretty good with a blade, because you're on your own...” I continued my walk towards the door.
“I'll triple the original price,” she said, obviously out of desperation. I was silent for a moment, searching for the right words to say.
“...by no means am I a good pony, Skye. To me, lives are worth one hundred and fifty thousand bits. No more. I'd take my own life if I knew I could spend the bits. But when it comes to doing something irreversible, you'd better be damn sure about what you want before asking for a pony to die. Think about that, Skye.” I opened the door. “We won't be seeing each other again.”
And with that, I shut the door, vanishing into the night.
~♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦~
I walked down the street, my small sword concealed within the red hooded cloak I wore. That weapon had plunged into the back of more beings than I could count, and each time, it became easier and easier to steel my heart to the guilt that pained me from ending another pony's life. However, each time I did it, I became more and more desperate to follow the guidelines I had set for myself the first assassination I had ever attempted.
Three simple rules. One, I choose my client. Two, I don't kill royalty. Three, I always make sure I know the truth. To make sure to know that the pony's 'innocence' is a simple façade. Always discover their true nature, witness the action, and dig up the information.
I've killed innocent ponies zero times. I can guarantee only that.
My victims were from a wide range of backgrounds: One was an engineer who had cut corners to save money on the design of a high-speed chariot. Later on, his product ended the lives of at least nineteen other ponies. Another was a teenage mare, whose bullying to impress her friends drove an insecure pony to suicide. Another was a store clerk, who knowingly sold a dangerous product just to keep her shop from closing, as it was in debt. The defect, while not deadly, injured one of her customers, who to this day has severe burn marks on his face.
The latest was a griffon. He was the target of a pony whose sister had gotten in a fight with said griffon. Later I saw him take a homeless pony's bits, grabbing them when the pony dropped them in front of the griffon. He could have left the bits for its owner, but no. He took the last hope for the starving pony, who ended up in the hospital after being found in an alley, passed out from starvation. Last I checked the hospital still was unsure of his condition.
...I witnessed these events. And I hated myself. I really did.
I could have changed all those events. I could have saved those innocent pony's lives before proceeding to end the lives of the perpetrator.
But I knew what would happen. I would change from the good pony to the bad pony. I would have to acknowledge the fact that I was simply taking revenge for acts that were unrelated to the true reason of why I was committing murder.
And... and... those victims would have survived. It wouldn't be a “life for a life” anymore. I would be looked down upon by everypony I had saved. I would be hated by those who had let me convince myself it was okay to kill.
But the victims I killed weren't the only ones affected by my murders. I knew this. The family members, the friends. They were always shocked when a small simple apology card arrived at their doorstep. It was pink and covered in roses. It always had a single line on it.
“I'm sorry for your loss.” It was always unsigned, and the envelope always had the words, “Concerning...” and then the victim’s name.
It had become an infamous sign. The one of the most notorious mercenaries in all of Equestria had killed a friend. A family member. A pony who had somehow gained the attention of the most dangerous and elusive killer in Equestria.
But the victim... that pony wasn't innocent. That much was all that mattered to me. All that let me sleep at night.
I was killing for justice, after all.
The streets were crowded, but I somehow managed to go unnoticed in my simple outfit consisting of a red cape. I didn't even bother to cover my face. I hadn't committed any murders in the past few days, so to conceal my identity would only draw attention to me.
I mean, the members of the royal guard were still clueless as to who was repeatedly escaping through even the smallest gap in security. Nopony was safe from being a target of the murderer who had ended so many lives. It mattered not that Shining Armor and the Royal Guard worked almost nonstop to find who was behind the invisible force that seemed to strike ponies from nowhere. They simply referred to me by the codename: The Nopony.
My murders were always the same. Always a single, deadly strike with a sharp object to a weak lethal spot- usually the back of the target- which resulted in an instant, painless death. My murders were always headline news, and my name was often mentioned in the Equestrian underground. I left very little evidence, and when I did it was never of any use, and my crimes were meticulously planned out before execution.
And I was headed to the home of the single pony in existence who knew who I really was.
As I entered the home of that mare, I heard music emanating from the living room. She was at it again, composing yet another masterpiece for Canterlot’s privileged ears to one day hear. She would never change, that Octavia.
I welcomed myself into the home instead of knocking on the front door. She continued to play even as I went into the room. Smiling, she continued her masterful cello playing until the end of the song's finale, and though one wouldn’t realize it, she was self taught.
After the song concluded, she picked up her instrument and moved it to the corner of the room. How she managed to do that so gracefully with such a large instrument was always beyond me.
“...so how'd everything turn out?” She smiled sincerely, wondering how my last assassination had gone. I shook my head, my mane visibly drooping from disappointment.
“It was a no-go,” I stated plainly. Octavia knew better than to pry for the reason why it was cancelled. She simply walked over the counter that separated the living room from the kitchen. Changing the subject, she looked down at the counter and asked, “Anything you want?” She faced away from me and began busying herself with mixing some juice that had been on the counter. I reminisced about the time she had vodka and the sorts. Recently, however, she replaced all of that with ingredients for punch. The punch always was fantastic, but it lacked one thing. That odd ability it had to help a pony temporarily forget about their life was always so addicting. Yes, it was the alcohol. Still, while it was only a fleeting moment in heaven, and I almost always regretted the night of drinking when I woke up retching with a throbbing pain in my skull.
Yet I always found that fleeting moment of relief worth the price.
Of course, now that Octavia wasn't willing to supply me with those drinks, I simply shrugged and stayed silent in response to her question. Octavia let the glasses clink together as she replaced a bottle of cherry-flavoring.
“If you're going to ask for alcohol, I told you, I'm done with the stuff. I may never have been a heavy drinker, but you always went overboard. If I can quit, you can too. If you still crave it, you're going to have to get it yourself.” She continued mixing before pouring the concoction into two glasses filled with crushed ice. “I took the liberty of making you this drink; it's one of my favorite mixes.” She handed me the glass filled with the red ice-drink along with a straw. She sat down next to me on the couch and began sipping out of the cup with a straw of her own. For the next few minutes, silence permeated the room, both of us lost in our own thoughts.
“... You know, you don't need to keep doing this,” Octavia sat at the edge of the couch, her body mostly-facing away from me. I looked back to her and smiled.
“Killing? Yeah... I know...” I said as she turned to face me. “I guess it's just that...” I looked down, trying to find the words to describe how I felt. “Well, I suppose I really don’t know...” I said, leaning back in the couch and letting my hooves rest across the top of the seat, “The truth is that,” I lowered my head, my mane drooping as I paused and sighed to myself, even though I still wore a somber smile, “This job gives me a sense of purpose. Without it, I would have died long ago.”
Octavia turned to me, blinking in surprise, and looked at me for a long time. Finally her face softened. “The way your life is now... maybe dying wouldn't have been such a bad thing...” She grabbed my body gently and held it closely to her chest.
“Maybe you're right,” I said, my voice trailing off.
We both knew it. I was depressed. I didn’t want to kill.
But I didn’t want to stop, either.
~♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦~
It was early years of our time in elementary school when we struck up a friendship with each other, we were assigned adjacent desks in the classroom. By the end of those years, we were inseparable. While we harbored no romantic feelings for each other, we were the two closest ponies you could ever imagine. The best of friends. Save for Vinyl Scratch, of course, though I never argued with Octavia the way she did.
However, one day, a message was delivered to Octavia's home. I had been staying there with her, as my parents had left on a business trip to Manehattan a few days prior. The message was a single, small card, pink and adorned in a rose pattern.
On the envelope itself- as a mailpony had delivered it from an unmarked address- were a few simple words.
“Concerning your parents,” I distinctly remember reading on the envelope.
I was confused by the small combination of words that were on the otherwise-blank inside, “I'm sorry for your loss.”
I was twelve, and the phrasing was cryptic for a young colt like me. I kept silent about it to the others, as the message held little meaning at that moment. I understood I had lost something and it had to do with my parents, but I was naïve. I was young. I didn't piece together what was right in front of me.
Later that day, news reached Ponyville about a train derailment on the way to Manehattan. Only two ponies died in the wreckage among the numerous injured. The paper gave two names. That was when I truly I realized what that letter was telling me.
I was an orphan.
Later on, Octavia's parents decided to adopt me, and I was welcomed as the fourth family member of the unit. While they had searched for my extended family, they couldn’t find anypony. Over the next five years, Octavia's mother and father helped fill the hole left by my parent's deaths. Their kind deeds and actions each day helped make me a both brilliant student and a pony who cherished their own imagination. They helped foster all of my passions, and cheered me on and treated me as their own child.
Octavia, while my new stepsister, still remained my closest friend. Together, we were always happy.
It had taken years to do, but finally I could once again sleep soundly at night. Five years, and I was finally at peace with the truth. I may have lost my old parents, but my new ones loved and cared for me too, and they would always be there for me.
But what I believed to be the truth failed me.
Always be there for me? I could only wish.
A week after Octavia's seventeenth birthday- a month before mine- I came home with Octavia from a party.
On the floor, in a pool of blood, lay the two ponies that had kept me safe. The ponies hat had shielded me from the world's evils, that had given me the blessing of a second-chance at experiencing joy.
They had, for reasons I still do not know to this day, been killed.
Octavia, that night, cried even more than I did.
And once again, I had nowhere to go. This time, however, I wouldn't be as lucky as to have adults who would be able to rescue me and my stepsister.
We were teenagers... We were on our own...
And so, each day, I looked for work. Whether it was cleaning or some disgusting odd-job, I began to do whatever I could to get the money to survive. For a whole year, I did this to support both Octavia's life and mine. I had refused to let Octavia do anything, she had always been talented with music, and I was never going to let her give up her dreams and aspirations for the world.
We struggled, it was true. Her occasional musical outings were few and far between, and my money could barely feed one of us. Often, I lied to her, saying I had eaten before I had gotten home while simultaneously foregoing meals so she would be able to focus on her music. She was my stepsister, and if one of us could succeed in life, it would be her.
However, it had been a week since my last odd-job, every cent I had made had been spent on the expenses the houses had. Every cent spent on Octavia's food. Every cent spent on her musical utensils.
She didn't know it, but I had been starving from the inside, but I would sooner die than see her go hungry for even a moment. She was happily oblivious to the fact that we truly could not afford her lifestyle, her numerous instruments, her countless sheets of paper, her preference for an inkwell and feather pen over a more conventional method of writing. Any money left over from those went directly to keeping ownership of the one thing Octavia’s parents had left us- their home.
But whenever Octavia gripped her instrument and began playing her songs, I stopped caring about how much my stomach ached from hunger. The food may have fed my body, but Octavia's music... that fed my soul. The songs she created were beautiful, masterpieces of angelic magnificence. However, the world around her refused to stop and listen, they refused to accept that an orphaned teenager could compose works that rivaled, no, far surpassed the works of any of the most renowned musicians in Equestria. Still, I believed it was only a matter of time before fate would smile upon her.
About four months before she was discovered by the musical world, I had run out of options. I had no more money, and the odd jobs I had been performing were no longer available.
But a curse disguised as a blessing found its way to me that day.
Somepony, a pony whose face has now faded into the sands of time, approached me on the street. He shook, trembling as if he were lifting some unseen, immense weight. He constantly moved his back and fourth in an ungraceful jerking motion, looking at each alleyway leading out to the street.
When he spotted me, he’d said a single sentence, “How badly do you need money, kid?”
And so, with no other options, I was forced to do the vilest thing a pony could do. It took two weeks, but I did what the stranger asked for the sum of seventy-thousand bits. I was desperate, and seventy-thousand was anything but a small amount of money.
It wasn't as difficult as I had thought it would be. The target had been a pony who had connections to many gangs. My client had been somepony that had a vendetta against the target. He wanted that pony dead. And as I witnessed that target order the deaths of two ponies who were injured... as I watched those two ponies bleed on the ground...
I gave up on the world. On everything.
Ponies couldn't see the world clearly. It was obvious. Every pony was in their own world, and greed is what drove many to the top. Those who were successful? They got there on the bodies of a thousand others.
Nopony is innocent. That's a fact of life.
I ended his life the next day, in an alleyway, when none of his lackeys were around. I leaped from a balcony above, and plunged a small, makeshift knife into his back that I held in my mouth.
Of course, I was smart. I knew a few things.
The guards found not one ounce of evidence pointing to the culprit of the murderer. That same night, I left a small letter to the gang whose leader had died, one resembling that which I had received when I had discovered my parent's loss so many years before.
I’m sorry for your loss.
I left that night a different pony. I was a killer.
But I saw the world clearly.
I understood there was no such thing as a happy ending.
~♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦~
It has been two days since I had decided to take my next job. My client had requested somepony unusual. The pony who hired me was a stallion with a thin, muscular build, who seemed around two years younger than I.
He requested I end the life of a “Rainbow Dash”.
The stallion, most likely due to some athletic reason, seemed to hold something against this mare. I decided not to pry into the ‘why’, but he seemed absolutely determined to end this pegasus's life. It didn't matter. What did matter was the reasoning that I would give myself to convince me to end her life. It would make itself apparent soon enough.
The hardest part, at least for me, was simply going to be flying to Ponyville. I would rather avoid public transport, after all. The less hints for those guards the better. I had plenty of files on this pony I could read to keep me busy on the way there; Rainbow Dash wasn't exactly low-profile.
Most of it seemed to glorify the pony. Sure, she was upstaged by the Mysterious Mare-Do-Well, but it was old news to somepony like me that her friends were the ones who had orchestrated that. Still, she was the living representation of the Element of Loyalty, was on good terms with the Wonderbolts, and seemed to be fairly innocent.
But being innocent? That was simply not possible.
At that moment, all I had thought was that I had overlooked something in those files.
I must have.
These files, they had to have something. She couldn't truly be innocent. It was simply impossible.
~♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦~
I was finally here. At that moment, I was glad it had been scheduled to be raining; ponies tend to stay inside when it's raining. That means less potential witnesses would see me. That means less ponies who would know – or care – that I was here in this town.
I decided to stay outside that night to see what the town was like. I already knew where the rainbow-pegasus lived, so I decided to walk by to see if there would be any obstacles when I decided to assassinate her.
“Oh!” I heard from behind me. It was excited, as if a child had stumbled across a small pile of candy.
“Who are you?” I mumbled to her silently.
I found this pink pony staring at me in the oddest fashion. The smile she wore extended past her actual face and into the air around her. Those eyes sparkled with the excitement of a filly who’d just been given the newest toy. “Hiya! I'm Pinkie Pie! I haven't seen you around here before!” She hopped around me, leaping everywhere, splashing some mud on my cloak as she jumped around. Her high pitched voice and bouncy demeanor already began to give me a headache. It was too much energy for me to handle. I merely spread my wings and flew up above the clouds, ignoring her and shaking the mud off my cloak as I took off.
“Hey! You haven't even told me your name!” I heard her yelling at me, and when I looked down, she was looking up at the raindrops, trying to talk with me.
Not that I cared what she had to say. I was here for a simple assassination. All I had to do was scout out the pony I needed dead, figure out how I to clear my conscience in the long-run, and continue on with life.
~♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦~
I landed on a cloud after what felt about an hour of flying around town and seeing where things were. I sighed, shaking myself of the excess rain and looked inside my cloak, checking to see if my files were still dry, and indeed, they were. I exhaled as exhaustion finally crept into the nether reaches of my mind, and with nowhere else to go, and no appointments I had to keep, I closed my eyes, drifting off into a dream.
Or, at least, that was what I had planned to do.As soon as I thought the pink pony would have given up on me, she appeared from below the clouds in the most absurd-looking contraption I had ever laid eyes on. While it had bicycle pedals, it was jerry-rigged up to what looked like a ceiling fan, and each of the blades helped to keep it aloft. Where she had obtained the contraption is still a mystery to me. She yelled at me, “Heeeeeeeeeeey!” In response, I exhaled loudly in annoyance.
I shook my head, and slowly took off in the opposite direction, but the pony followed me, being almost unintelligible because of the speed at which she spoke.
And though my outer appearance showed no sign of emotion, inside I was glowing, a smile forming inside of me. Eventually, however, the inside of me began to leak out, onto on my face, and before I knew it, I had a small smirk plastered where an annoyed frown had previously occupied.
“Well, Pinkie Pie. I see you're getting tired on that little contraption of yours.” I paused for a few moments, contemplating whether or not to actually speak with the mare. She had made a good impression on me, true, but the fewer ponies knew about me, the better. “... I guess, since you've put up such an effort to talk with me we could talk...” I trailed off, mentally reprimanding myself for saying what I had. However, it was too late, and the pink pony was already cheering in her own fanatical way, even if it was only for annoying me into submission. I rubbed my face with my hoof and slowly began to descend below the cloud.
~♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦~
Three days. It had been three days since I arrived, though only the last two were spent spying on the rainbow-maned pegasus. That pink pony, as amusing as she initially was, wouldn't leave me alone after she landed on top of me with her flying-machine. My right wing was broken from the impact, but I left the hospital in the middle of that first night and since then, I had avoided as much contact as possible.
My empty stomach
After the initial night in the hospital, Pinkie Pie had gone to retrieve her friends. If I had remembered correctly from the files, she was friends with Rainbow Dash, somepony I shouldn’t spend too much time with. If I spoke with her, ponies might suspect I was the killer. So, I opened the second-story window, climbed out, and disappeared from sight. However, the continuing downpour outside didn't help when it came to my bandages, and so not only was my wing broken, but all of the bandages and support was also gone. I grabbed the hidden papers from inside of my cloak and let the rain wash the ink away. I needed to make that information disappear anyways; I had already memorized everything I needed to know.
Still, being grounded is not exactly something I had prepared for when planning Rainbow Dash’s death, and with her home the way it was, located in the clouds, ending her life had now become even more of a challenge than before.
And I didn't want witnesses; to assassinate her in public would be risky, after all, even if I had done it before. When I did those, they were special occasions. I had other ponies prepared to distract the crowd as I struck down the target pony. Here, there would be a higher chance of somepony spotting me.
If somepony spotted me, I would have to kill them or be caught.
I refused to end the other ponies’ lives. They weren't part of the job.
Secretly, however, I was tempted to do the murder in broad daylight. To make it a show. To announce to the world I was who I was. It's scary, knowing you can end a life, just like that, with nopony sure how to stop you. I know that better than most.
That temptation to be caught was always there. Just so I would not have to kill another pony. Just so I could spend the rest of my life with a simple existence, even if it meant exchanging my freedom. Without those thoughts and guilts constantly haunting me, life might be worth smiling about.
~♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦~
Twilight Sparkle. That was her name. She reminded me of Octavia a bit. Obsessed with those books as much, if not more than my stepsister obsessed over music.
And for some disturbing reason, her name seemed so familiar. I couldn’t understand it.
Anyways, that unicorn walked into the library, which was built inside of a living tree, and as she approached the door, it was opened by a baby dragon. I heard he has the ability to contact Princess Celestia. Not too surprising, really. My notes said that Twilight was the Princess's student. And if they were right, which I was sure they were, then she was going to have at least some basic understanding of many difficult, obscure spells. Something I should be wary of.
I was following Twilight because she had spent time with Rainbow Dash that evening. They spent a normal day at the park, but it was nothing special. A tortoise... or turtle (I was never very well-versed when it came to reptiles) hooked to a flying contraption similar to the one Pinkie Pie had crashed into me was flying around. Both Rainbow Dash and Twilight ignored it as they read different books together.
I second-guessed my own memory as I watched this scene. I didn’t recall Rainbow Dash being a reader.
Still, I continued surveying whatever I could about the pegasus. She, while silly and unusual, and definitely a bit cocky, she was perfectly... normal. She never seemed to act out in any way, never saying an evil word or making any form of cruel action.
She never lied, she never acted out, and the worst thing I had heard her say was the single term of “egghead.” Something, of course, that was almost meaningless to any pony, especially since she was referring to herself.
As I watched her, for the fourth day, she seemed at ease, smiling and being a stereotypical tomboy. She often bragged; humbleness was definitely not her strong suit, but she was a kind pony.
For me, however, that meant she was untouchable.
She, like her friends, seemed to be so... innocent and carefree. Applejack worked her apple farm. Fluttershy cared for animals. Rarity worked tirelessly on dresses. Twilight Sparkle tended to the library. Pinkie Pie was the only one I hadn't observed. It was more because I feared her recognizing me than anything else. The information on her was also scant, even with all of the people she associated with.
Rainbow Dash led a simple lifestyle, just like her friends.
I had learned very little these past few days, other than how to do a triple-wing flip-somersault while coming out of a supersonically fast dive.
And that was useless. I mean, my right wing was still broken after all.
So, since my stomach was growling, I nonchalantly wandered from my hiding spot and began walking towards Sweet Apple Acres, taking care to avoid as many ponies as I could on the way. I had been swiping apples for food the past few days.
I really, really was beginning to hate the taste of them.
I even considered starving to death. It's better than eating another one of those damned apples.
~♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦~
Fifth day. More nothing.
Still, this 'nothing' was different. I got a letter from my sister from a messenger attached to a book with no cover from a messenger. An underground delivery pony, so to speak.
Dear Brother,
You’ve taken a while to get this job done, I see. Maybe you’re getting soft.
That’d be nice, wouldn’t it? Not being so afraid all of the time, and always riddled with guilt. Maybe you’d even stop being so scary around everypony. I really miss the laughter we used to share as kids.
Still, I would usually wait to talk to you until after you were done with the mission, but I’ve been absolutely ecstatic this morning. I was invited to become the new conductor of the Canterlot Symphony Orchestra! Do you know what this means!? I’m head of the most distinguished, talented, and recognizable musical group in Equestrian history! I mean, this is my chance to show the world that I’m not just some dumb kid with impossible dreams and a random little bro who supports them. Now I can make the world listen! Celestia has invited us to perform in her castle in 4 months too! I’m still shaking in excitement. While I plan on setting up some more traditional pieces of music, I can’t decide which one of mine I should display! I want to play all of them!
I can’t believe it!
And it’s all thanks to you.
Anyways there’s something else I wanted to talk to you about. I’ve been writing this book. Can you look over it? It’s on the history of Equestria’s music, and how it’s affected the development of Equestrian society. I’ve been writing this on and off for a couple years now. I’ve only just gotten around to finishing it. It’s been a side-project, so I never really bothered to mention it to you. Still, you’re my brother, so I think you should be able to look over it first. Thanks.
Love you bro.
-Tavi
I smiled at her letter before placing it in the center of the book. After that, I placed the book inside of the pouch in my cloak, for safekeeping.
I’ve never had to watch a pony for this long before, you know. I was really beginning to feel more like a stalker than an assassin.
… Celestia damn it. This is boring as all hell. Why this mare? She couldn’t be...
Innocent...
Could she?
~♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦~
I ended up doing some research on the pony who hired me to kill Rainbow Dash. There was a huge race coming up for pegasi. The Tour de Equestria.
The colt who hired me was a favorite in this race, alongside- you probably guessed it- Rainbow Dash.
It’s obvious why he had hired me, though.
I’d leave no evidence. Even though that was the case, everypony knew it was me who committed the crime. My employer would be spared any suspicion, and all of the efforts towards capturing anypony would be directed towards me, not the pony who hired me.
So he’d win this race and get loads of cash from betting on himself. It wasn’t a big surprise. The odds would shift to his favor; his winnings would leave him immensely rich. He had, at that point, already placed some ridiculous amounts of bits towards it. Closer to the end of several tens of millions.
No wonder he had offered me so much for this assassination.
He just wanted Rainbow Dash out of the picture without any repercussions of suspicions directed towards him.
The killing wouldn’t be difficult after all. She was just an average pegasus, after all.
Well, not average: Innocent.
Maybe it would be a little difficult, convincing myself to kill her.
~♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦~
I had thrown up. The apples had finally gotten to me. Six days of nonstop apples after escaping that hospital?
I couldn’t imagine ever eating any more. It was for the better, anyways. Applejack, the farmer, seemed to have noticed a few of the more ripe apples missing here and there. How she was so attentive was, and is, still beyond me. She mumbled something about how she thought it was from some of Fluttershy’s pets sneaking into her farm, though, so I didn’t have to worry about anypony suspecting my presence. Still, I had become somewhat relieved that she had started to keep watch around the farm. It prevented me from stealing those apples.
By this point, I despised apples.
Of course, I was in Rainbow Dash’s home, so I would have the first non-apple meal in...
Pardon me; I just caught myself skipping ahead.
~♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦~
That morning was normal; I awoke in time to see her glide from her cloud home towards Ponyville. She had cloud duty that day. Of course, with her speed, clearing the skies was effortless and wasted only a few moments of her easygoing life. I had timed her, and it indeed took her average time of ten seconds flat to remove the clouds from the sky.
I was next to the town library when she finished clearing the sky. I was still trying to get over her speed.
With that speed, that race wouldn’t even be classified as a competition. Rainbow Dash’s agility and mastery of flight put mine to shame. It was obvious I would need to brush up on my skills when this wing finally decided to work again.
As I watched her soar through the skies, the door to the library opened, and Twilight Sparkle walked out carrying a saddlebag filled with books.
“Now, Spike, remember that the rest of those party favors will have to be put away. I know Pinkie said that there would be a party for that stranger she met a little over a week ago, but that pegasus disappeared from the hospital. We really can’t help that, you know.”
I heard a groan from behind her, “Aww, but Twiiiiliiiight, I really want to play with them some more.”
I laughed to myself as I slowly walked out of view of the entrance of the library, but it was too late. I had caught her eye.
“Umm, excuse me, sir. I was wondering...” Twilight walked over to me as my eyes opened wide. I was caught. A resident figured out I was here.
“Y-yes, ma’am?” I said, turning to face her, regaining my composure after being startled before she suspected anything, “Is something wrong?”
“No, nothing’s wrong. It’s just you seem to be new around here. I just thought I’d introduce myself and say, ‘Hi!’” She smiled sincerely before looking curiously at my cloak; from her angle she saw a small corner of the book Octavia had written in the inside pocket. “Hey is that a book? What one is it? Have I read it? Can I see it?”
Suddenly, Twilight seemed giddy over nothing, but I knew of her obsession over books and went to reach for it with my right wing...
And pain jolted through my body as I tried to move it. Twilight looked concerned as I cringed. “Are you okay?”
“Y-yeah. I’m fine, it’s just...”
I shook my head. “I... I’ll show you later, I suppose.” I wandered towards another section of town as Twilight stood there confused.
Before she put two and two together, before she realized I was the pony that had escaped from the hospital, I was long gone. I was swearing so much a one-eyed carpenter would have been jealous. My wing, to be quite frank, hurt.
I walked quickly through the village before stumbling upon a small path out of town. The wooden sign indicating where it headed was dilapidated, partially rotten, and so illegible from years of being worn that it was hopeless to even attempt to read what was written.
I walked down the path that seemed to lead towards a wooded area and I stepped behind a few of the trees before ripping off my cloak with my mouth. Looking at my injury, I saw a small section going off in a way no pegasus wing should, or could, normally bend. I winced as I struck the wing with my hoof, realigning the bones and hearing a small “crack” as I did so. After sitting for a bit and waiting for the pain to die down, I began to think about Twilight. Her name and appearance was awfully familiar to me. I couldn’t quite pinpoint when or where I had heard it before.
Eventually, I gave up and decided to wander until the pain in my side vanished. I began to walk down the path further into the forest. Soon, the trees became dilapidated, as though they had given up on life years before.
I was about to give up on my quest through this forest when suddenly, I caught myself swearing. This time it was not from the pain of the wing, but because I caught the head of a chicken out of the corner of my eye.
That chicken possessed the body of a snake. A single thought went through my head when I saw that. Stone.
I knew little about the flora and fauna of Everfree forest. Still, I realized that was where I was.
“Everfree Forest is a strange place. Nature’s laws seem to be ignored in this forest. The weather controls itself, the animals don’t need ponies to help them” I remembered my grade school teacher saying, “and one of the scarier beasts in it, cockatrices, turn unsuspecting travelers into stone.”
However, I remembered reading later on that those dangerous creatures never strayed far from the deeper parts of Everfree. They never crossed a certain line. Obviously “never” didn’t apply in this case, because this was an “ever” scenario, not a “never” scenario, and here was a cockatrice, standing between me and the exit to Everfree.
Behind me, I heard rustling. It didn’t take much to make me move.
If that cockatrice saw me- no, if I saw it, then I’d be in huge trouble. I dodged and weaved through the trees, determined to avoid the cockatrice's stare.
And while I did lose the cockatrice, I lost myself in this forest even more.
What wasn’t lost, however, was the manticore that struck me as soon as I stopped running. I went flying before landing on my broken wing. Steeling myself from the pain, I rolled and I got back up on my hooves. Hurt from the swipe of the claw, and unable to fly, I did what anypony would do. What I had done just a moment before.
I ran. I ran as fast as I could.
But, as anypony could tell you, a manticore has wings. Wings means that they can fly, and flying is, in fact, faster than running. As it flew above me, it grabbed me in a bear hug before taking a ninety-degree ascent up to the sky.
I couldn’t move. I was trapped by the manticore’s superior muscles. My teacher had always talked about how they would slam larger prey into the ground to kill them instantly.
I always said I wanted a way out of killing ponies. This was my way out. Death.
Still, I was a pony with an innate form of self-preservation. Instinct kicked in, I struggled, I kicked and fought, but it wasn’t enough.
Thinking, I stopped myself. Senseless struggling never helped my prey. When I struck a pony down, it never solved anything.
I took a deep breath and relaxed before doing the most idiotic thing I could.
I brought back my head, full force, into the bottom of the attacker’s jaw. It wasn’t enough that I knocked it out, but for a moment, the iron-grip of the beast loosened.
I grabbed the small sword that had been previously pinned to my side out of its sheath with my mouth at that very instant. At that moment, the shock of the beast violently renewing its brutally painful grasp almost made me gasp and drop my weapon. However, I managed to recover, and in the next moment, a small flash of light glimmered through the air as I swung my neck with the dexterity of a trained assassin to strike the manticore in the side of the head.
Blood streamed from the wound as the creature roared in pain, releasing me. Sheathing my sword, somehow so habitual that in this moment of time I still took precious moments to do so, I began to flail with my one good wing. I plummeted downward through the air uncontrollably until, moments later, I found myself in another grip.
It was firm like the manticore’s, but it was also soft and gentle.
I was in the front hooves of a familiar-looking pegasus. A cyan colored mare with the most eccentric, though somewhat good-looking mane. Behind her trailed a brilliant array of red, orange, yellow, green, blue, and purple.
It took more time to blink than it did to realize what had happened. In some bizarre series of events, my life had been saved by the same pony I had been sent to kill.
~♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦~
I awoke in Rainbow Dash’s home in the clouds. I had passed out in her arms, just moments after she’d caught me. The Wonderbolts posters pasted haphazardly onto the wall seemed to somehow match the room, which, while messy, wasn’t uninviting. Sitting up in the bed, which I could only assume was hers; I looked at the sheets, deep in thought about what to do.
Could I really kill her now? She had saved my life, after all.
I had always assassinated ponies before without hesitation, but I always had a reason to kill them. Or, something I had always told myself was a reason.
My savior entered the room, interrupting my thoughts, and sat down on the ground next to the bed.
I didn’t even look up at first. After a few moments, I mustered the strength to ask her, “... how come I’m not in the hospital?”
“Oh, I dunno. Probably because you’ll run away again,” She said in a slightly sarcastic tone.
I turned to face her, “You knew it was me?” It was an idiotic question, no doubt, but instinctive nonetheless.
“Kinda hard not to. Not many ponies that run around Ponyville with a broken wing, you know. Especially without bandages and supports. ” Rolling her eyes, she smiled before scratching the back of her head with her hoof. “You know, those were some pretty cool moves back there with the manticore.”
I exhaled and did a half-laugh, trying to hide the fact I was a professional killer, “In all honesty, I had no idea what I was doing.”
She looked to the bedside, where a cloud held my items. “So where’d ya get that oversized knife?” She smirked.
I looked at it, and felt a small tug on my right wing. I saw that the bandages were replaced, though it was obviously not wrapped by a professional. “Well, I got it...” My voice trailed off, trying to think up a fake tale as to the sword’s origin.
Rainbow Dash thought I had ended the sentence there. “You got it? I know that you have it, now tell me where you got it!” She said, rolling her eyes.
Giving up on fabricating a story, I sighed before rolling off of the bed. With a firm, though apathetic tone, I said, “Not saying,” while I got up from the bed and began walking towards the exit of the room.
She walked up to me and strode alongside as I walked out of the door. “Oh come on! You’re pretty cool, but I gotta know where ya got that! I mean, it’s awesome!”
I shook my head and smiled. If only she knew what a horrific past it had helped me live. “It is a lot of things, but I wouldn’t call it awesome. More like a pain in the flank.”
“Well, anyways, what’s your name? I’m Rainbow Dash!” For a moment she seemed to bow as she talked, artistically moving a hoof across her body, as if she were some important pony I would have to remember.
I ignored her as I tried to navigate through the multi-storied home in the sky before finally giving up when I circled past the kitchen for the third time.
“Come on! You might like to keep up that, ‘mysterious’ aura or something, but let me tell you, you’re boring!” she said. She glided above me as I looked out one of the windows in the kitchen. It was positioned comfortably next to the stool I had chosen to give up trying to find an exit on.
I paused for a few moments before mumbling, more to myself then her, “You know, you might be annoying, but you aren’t too bad.” I blinked and looked directly at the nuisance next to me, and with a serious, slightly formal tone, I said five words: “Thank you for saving me.”
~♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦~
Princess Luna’s sky had begun it’s brilliant display of shining stars.
I paced around the only room in the home I could navigate to by myself, the kitchen. It wasn’t intended, but I had made the mistake of attempting to search for an exit that night. While I was not looking for another midnight escape like when I ran from the hospital, searching for the elusive area of the home had helped to distract me, but after I’d wandered into the kitchen for the twelfth time, it grew old. So I paced in darkness, thoughts plaguing my once-again unoccupied mind.
I thought back and remembered Dash’s home from the outside, slapping myself as I remembered the many archways that seemed to be exits from this cloudy prison. There was more than just one escape, and I couldn’t find a single one.
“What is wrong with me? I have everything set up, here’s the perfect chance, and I can’t even imagine myself killing her...” I walked over to the end of a room where a rainbow-colored stream of water flowed. Dipping my hooves into the water, I splashed it onto my face and breathed heavily as I rubbed my face with my hooves.
The water dripped from my mane as I looked down and saw my exhausted expression in the multi-colored water. The splashes the drops made were quickly swept away by the stream. I closed my eyes and thought about how easily their existence was washed away.
Maybe my past could be too.
I went to sleep that night on the couch, determined to leave town the next day. This assassination wasn’t important. I could cancel it. In fact, that was just what I had planned to do.
Quit. Turn myself into the royal guard. What Octavia had said I should have done in the first place.
But plans, as an assassin quickly learns, rarely work. That’s because an assassin learns that while fate is a mysterious and enigmatic force, it will always be cruel and unforgiving.
And that night, I had a dream about the last time I had visited a bar. A memory stirred of an event that had happened the night before I took the Rainbow Dash job.
~♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦~
A hundred glass shards covered the floor. Some were still crystalline, shining in the dull light, but the vast majority was covered in blood- my blood.
I was bleeding from a wound in my forehead, two large brutes stood on either side of me. They towered over me, as though I had suddenly shrunk to only a third of my size. Gripping my front hooves from behind, the first stallion laughed as repeated strikes were aimed at my gut. My mane seemed to have lost all of it’s liveliness and my panting could be heard by all of the bar’s patrons, but concealed beneath all of that was a small smile.
A typical afternoon when I wasn’t working. That’s what this was.
I had finished a meeting with one of the larger informants in the Equestrian Underground. We discussed several matters going on with the security in Canterlot. I learned they were taking extra precautions, and that they drafted several more guards to the special section of the Canterlot Guard dedicated to hunting down The Nopony.
He had left an hour or so before me, but I was already in a drunken haze when he walked out.
I walked- or, in reality stumbled- out of the bar that night. The two aggressors were unconscious on the floor, and apparently the barman wouldn’t serve me any more drinks even though I shoved bits all over the counter in an overly-dramatic and extremely sloppy way.
So I did the only thing a pony who just had enough alcohol to kill an Ursa Minor could do. I walked into the nearby alley and showed the ground what my lunch was made of.
Apparently, I said some things to that informant I shouldn’t have that night.
Informants always share with other informants juicy tidbits of information, no matter how confidential they are.
~♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦~
I found the front door the next morning. Apparently it was just around the corner from the kitchen. Rainbow Dash helped me by carrying me down to Ponyville. I was draped, once again, in my savior’s arms.
It made me sick to my stomach, knowing how I had contemplated ending her life.
Was she truly that innocent though? I couldn’t believe it and yet here she was. She showed no sign of any evil, she had saved my life, and she had bandaged my wounds.
The goodbye was short. A simple, “See you later!” from both parties. She had invited me to stay for a few days. I lied when I accepted the offer. I said I wanted to go to town for a moment. Maybe get some things from the market and see if there was a book at Twilight’s library.
Twilight. That was it! A small remnant of my past began to surface. It was a name, a name tied to an event that had shaped my life. She had been there, I remembered her name. Pulling out a piece of paper, I began to frantically write a letter to her. As soon as I finished scrawling the almost-illegible writing, I tucked it into the back of the book Octavia had given me and rushed towards the library, before knocking over-excitedly on the front door.
Spike opened the door. “What do you want?”
I looked at him before scratching the back of my head, “Umm, well, you see. I have this book here that my sister wrote. She isn’t the best writer, so she was going to have me proofread it, but I might be busy for the next few days, and I heard the librarian here might be—”
“SPIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIKE!” I heard from the back of the library. Before I could react, Spike was scurrying off with a guilty expression on his face.
I shook my head and smirked before setting the book down and closing the door. I mentally double-checked to make sure I had written that note to Twilight Sparkle, which contained a few small words followed by an address to mail the book to when the revision was complete. I couldn’t stick around and wait for Twilight to finish yelling at Spike for whatever he had done. The train was leaving for Canterlot in two hours and I thought I would have to run there.
However, the library was deceivingly close to the train station, and I ended up lazily meandering through town, each pony around me minding their own business. I looked to the skies and saw pegasi clearing the skies of clouds. I thought of how much I would miss Ponyville, and everyone I had met.
Not much, in all honesty.
However, as I walked around the edge of the main marketplace in Ponyville, my thoughts were interrupted.
“He-ey! It’s you!” A voice called out from behind me. It was almost as if the faint remains of a laugh had somehow intertwined with those words.
“Why are you here? I thought you never left Canterlot,” Venom dripped from my voice.
“Well, I see you’re doing fine. I got interested when I heard some rumors you were gonna kill that ‘Rainbow Dash’ fella,” he said has he did a half-waltz over to me. The way he trotted seemed to cause his dark-grey mane to contrast even more with his light brown body. I always hated having him around, his cartoonish speech-bubble cutie mark always seemed to dampen a good mood.
I didn’t want to speak very long with this stallion. He was devious and cunning, and could probably outtalk every lawyer in Equestria if he put his mind to it. Furthermore, like a lawyer, he often brought with him trouble of the worst kind. Exhaling with a slight desperation and wanting to end the chat with the boy, I said, “Go to hell, Pierce. I don’t want ponies like you anywhere near me. Last time I had dealings with you, I almost died.”
Pierce laughed as he spoke, “Listen, that’s no way to treat an old friend, now is it? Anyways, I see ya got yourself an injured wing. Helping you out any? You know, with getting that Rainbow Dash fella dead-like?”
I ignored him as I walked by, pretending he didn’t exist. However, he held out a hoof to block me. “Ya know, I didn’t just come here to chat. I just thought it’d be fun. Still, I can’t have you leaving before I get my job done can I?”
“Why yes, I did know you didn’t come out here to ‘chat’. And yes, you can have me leaving before your ‘job’ gets done.” I pushed his hoof aside and began walking towards the train station.
He let out a huff which sounded like a laugh that had somehow been cut short. Then, with a brief pause he continued, “You wouldn’t be talking like that if you really knew why I was here.” His voice contrasted how he had been speaking before. Instead of the light hearted tone that had permeated his speech, it had a dark, almost menacing feeling about it.
I stayed silent, but his words did what they intended. I stopped walking. My face remained expressionless, as though I were a statue chiseled in marble.
As soon as I stopped, Pierce’s voice jumped back up to his normal, laid-back way of talking. “Anyways...” He held out the beginning of the word for a moment longer than necessary. “I heard this name in Canterlot. I think it was a few days ago. Odd, really. This Octavia chick is the new conductor of the Canterlot Symphony Orchestra. Pretty ironic if you ask me. At the same time, I found out you were saying some pretty funny things in a bar a little while ago. When was it... that night you got thrown out for beatin’ the living hell outta some stallions, was it? Said something about how Octavia was your sister. Pretty damn interesting if you ask me.”
I blinked and involuntarily opened my mouth
before I did, surprisingly. He sent me, the guy he usually goes to for info from the ‘U.G.’, to let ya know. Both of us have an interest. I have bets my client’s gonna win this race. He’s placed almost as much as I have on this win. Already read through the small print myself, even if a competitor dies, race is still gonna happen, and so are the bets placed on that mare, Rainbow Dash. They’ll just be losing bets.”
I took a deep breath, and as I exhaled, I tried to calm my mind.
Pierce once again reverted to his cold, dark, serious voice, “Put two and two together, kid. We’re getting impatient. The race is in nine days. Kill Rainbow Dash the day before then, or else the Canterlot Symphony Orchestra is going to need another conductor. Your deadline is a week from tomorrow.” He pulled something out of a pouch on his side I hadn’t noticed. It was a newspaper. He tossed it onto the ground by my feet. The headline was all I needed to cause a look of horror to cross my face.
“New Conductor of the Canterlot Symphony Orchestra Missing!”
“Better pick up the pace, kid.” He spun around and began to walk away. “One week should be plenty of time, right? And remember, I’m not paying you to have her drop out. I’m paying you to make her play dead.”
I was panicking, and had a million thoughts rushing through my head. Not sure of what to do, I went to head towards Twilight Sparkle’s house. What for? I wasn’t sure. Maybe Octavia’s book would say something.
Before I could spin around, however, I was stopped by a certain rainbow-colored pony. “Hey!” She landed by me with a huge smile. “Are you done with your errands?”
I quickly grabbed the newspaper on the ground by my feet, hiding the headline and placing it within my cloak. Instinctively, I scanned the crowd around me for any signs of Pierce.
And he was there watching.
“I’m sorry. I- I can’t talk,” I stuttered, spinning around on my back hooves as I sprinted away from Rainbow Dash and around the corner of a building.
“Hey! Wait up!” I heard behind me, but before she could catch up, I ducked under a cart.
Gasping, I placed my head under my hooves and pretended I didn’t exist. I shook my head, trying to clear my head of the billion thoughts that were raging like an inferno.
~♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦~
“The Tour de Equestra is a four-thousand kilometer race. This year, however, it is different from most. This year the Wonderbolts- which recently gained an opening from Rapidfire’s retirement from the professional flying team- are offering the first pony to complete the race the chance of joining the team as their newest member. This year’s favorites for winning the race include Rainbow Dash and Wind Catcher.”
Wind Catcher. That was the stallion who had hired me.
There were some hastily scrawled notes, figures and numbers, to be more precise. Covering an image of the newest royal couple, Cadance and Shining Armor, the near-illegible handwriting caught my eye.
Apparently, that informant, Pierce, wrote down the figures for what he was betting during that race..
A few hundred million bits on a single pony.
Wind Catcher.
“Oh yeah! That newspaper from a few weeks back!” Rainbow Dash peered over my shoulder. “I got, like, four copies of those from my friends. Two of them were from Twilight.”
Red-faced, I scrambled to cover up the notes, losing balance and falling off of the chair at Rainbow Dash’s kitchen table as I did. I huddled it up into a ball as I quickly placed it into my cloak. I tried to communicate with her, but all that seemed to come out were foreign sounds that resembled stutters more than words.
“I get it.” She said, pausing for a moment, “You’re my fan, aren’t you?”
I went to deny what she said, but I stopped myself. It was uneven, and somewhat resembled exhaling quickly over and over again. I suddenly lost all strength to try to get up off of the floor. I clutched my stomach, I couldn’t even breathe at this point. My face was turning red from the lack of oxygen and I began to even feel pain. However, it felt good.
I was laughing.
Her hoof forcibly struck the ground as she tried to interject. “What are you laughing at!?”
But that only served to make me laugh even more.
How could I be laughing at a time like this?
~♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦~
Another restless night at her house; somehow I ended up not returning to Canterlot. I kept thinking about what I did earlier that day. Laughing? I hadn’t done that in years. Why had I laughed? Was I laughing at her? That she asked if I was her fan. No, that wasn’t it. Maybe it was because I was going to deny it, then caught myself. Sure, I hadn’t become a fan of her in the sense she had implied. By no means had I become a fan of her athletic skill.
I was a fan of her innocence. I wanted to be like her.
As these thoughts went through my head, my heart began to pulse, and I realized I was beginning to break out in a cold sweat. That laugh, it made me thinking about why I’d come to ponyville so much more painful. It truly hadn’t dawned on me about what I had to do until that moment when I was thinking about the laughter.
This pony I had begun to adore was the very pony whose life I now had to end. I had no control anymore. It was Rainbow Dash or my sister.
To think, the first time I would experience joy and freedom in years would only serve to tighten the shackles that chained me to my fate.
It was an involuntary reaction, but I began to lightly cry to myself. The shaking had become impossible to withhold as my sobs grew louder and louder. I always had this outer shell. A form of no emotion, and here it was, dissolving around me. I began to notice that all of these feelings were ones I hadn’t felt in what felt like an eternity. Laughter. Joy. Adoration.
And most importantly:
…
Love.
~♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦~
Sleep is odd. While you need it for clear thought, and of course to function in daily life, it seemed to never happen when a pony needed it most. A major test the next day? No sleep for you. Emotions flowing through your head? Too bad.
I opened my eyes to the morning sun, and, as I stood up from the couch, I tried to move the wings on my back. They did, with some difficulty, unfold slightly. It seemed as though the bandages were loosened. Twilight had explained the concept to Rainbow Dash, who then relayed it somewhat haphazardly to me. It had taken an hour of questioning to get the reason why, and the discussion had ended with, “Just let me loosen the bandages already!” until I finally discovered I needed to start moving my wings on occasion to help retain its mobility. If I didn’t there was a risk that the bones would mend over the joints, locking the wings into place and preventing me from ever using them again. Even though it pained me to attempt to move them, I still forced them to expand and contract. It felt as if I needed to push against a concrete wall to extend them, and finally gave up after only bringing them to halfway out.
I walked towards the kitchen, again by searching for the exit of the home. It had become almost obnoxious, finding such a simple place to be so confusing for someone like me.
“Hey!” Rainbow Dash seemed to be calling out from another room. However, the voice seemed to be directed towards somepony— or something else. I wandered around the home, trying to figure out where the voice came from.
Then, a tortoise flew through an open doorway, knocking me off balance. Moments later, Rainbow Dash flew through, completing what the tortoise had begun and knocking me onto the floor.
She held on, “C’mon Tank. You’re supposed to be slow. Just because you have a mechanical thing strapped to your back doesn’t mean you can just fly everywhere you please!”
And indeed, it was a thing. I recalled seeing the creature before, “You plan on winning some race when you can barely catch a tortoise? Good luck, Rainbow Crash.”
Her face became a crimson-red as I said that, “Well at least my wings were never crushed by Pinkie Pie!”
“Okay, okay! I won’t call you that anymore. Geez!” I shrugged and let the conversation end there, smiling contently to myself in the process.
~♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦~
Ponyville was far more interesting that I had given it credit for. The bustling town center gave it the appearance that it was much larger than it really was. Without worrying about hiding, I wandered around town, got a cupcake at Sugarcube Corner, and sat down at a bench near the Carousel Boutique, a place that seemed gaudier than what I wanted.
“Seven Days Left.”
I was alone on the bench, thinking about the perfect day that had been scheduled by the pegasi. To be interrupted by this disembodied voice scared me. It was reminding me of what I tried so hard to ignore. Reality.
I rubbed my mane with my hoof before heaving myself up from the bench. Spinning my head around, I began lumbering towards the Ponyville library, hoping that a book would clear my mind from all that had transpired for the past few days.
And to check up on something.
Mostly to check up on something.
So, with that, I wandered towards the library, opened the door, and invited myself in. It was a public library, so I figured I wouldn’t knock this time.
I’d been there for an hour, looking through the books without making small talk or anything of the like.
“You know, you’ve been here for an awfully long time.” However, even though I hadn’t made small talk, Twilight had been interrogating me almost nonstop.
I was silent.
“What is it you’re here for?” She came up to me and sat down.
I turned the page and ignored her..
“Hello? You in there?” She tapped on my head.
I tried making myself look engrossed in what was an overall-uninteresting book. If a pony had been truly gullible, they probably would have thought something along the lines of: “Wow, that paragraph must hold the key to every question in the universe. He’s so interested. I swear he must be learning how to recreate the very fabric of space and time to be so interested in something like this!”
Of course, not only would that pony be gullible, but very stupid. It was a picture book. There were no paragraphs.
And, of course, not only was Twilight Sparkle neither of these, she had looked through the book several times herself. She let out an annoyed sigh. “Well could you please at least tell me your name? You’ve been here for a few days now and you still haven’t told me that! You even gave me a huge BOOK to look over and proofread. Do you know how hard that is!?”
“No.” I said, as I flipped to another page. Then, after a brief pause, I continued, “To both of your questions.”
“UGH!” She screamed as she stormed upstairs.
Spike glared at me as he followed her. “You know, she was just trying to be nice, right?”
“Yeah,” I said indefferently before shutting the book with my hooves. I re-shelved it before looking at the floor.
Spike paused before he finished walking up the stairs. “Then why’d you do that?”
I looked at him. “Because she hasn’t even begun to read the book.” I got up and walked out of the library.
As I shut the door, I heard Spike mumble to himself, “How would he know that?” His voice trailed off as I shut the door.
I would know if she’d read the book. She would have read the letter in the back of it. If she’d read the letter, she would have acted differently towards me. Very differently.
~♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦~
Six days until the deadline.
I had been watching Rainbow Dash. Flips and tricks I had never even dared to attempt were almost second-nature for this pony. Her grace, speed, and power were unbelievable.
She had been training incessantly during my time in the town. I had discovered that she was doing an endurance flight when she had stumbled across me and the manticore fighting. That was when she saved me. She’d spent so much time perfecting the last details of her form for the race.
“Form? Shouldn’t you work more on your stamina?” I asked her.
“Stamina? Yeah, why do you think I did that endurance run. You kinda cut it a bit short though. Still, form has to be perfect. Some of the sections this year are supposed to be super-technical. The Wonderbolts personally looked over the course too! Like, you can’t even fly next to another pony. If you do, you’ll crash. It’s that skinny, and the twists are just ridiculous. I gotta make sure my form is perfect so I can still pass ponies in those tight spaces.”
“Pass ponies? Aren’t you going to be in the lead the entire time anyways?” I asked, smiling. I leaned backwards off of the tree branch I was sitting on, hooked my rear hooves along the branch, did a front flip in the air, and landed gracefully on the ground. “Well, I suppose you’d have to worry about it if I were in the race,” I stretched out my wing as I teased her, and arched backwards as if I were stretching. “Well, I guess you’re just lucky that I got in an accident is all.”
“Well,” she jokingly replied, “There’s no way you’re going to take the win from me this year! Not with that broken wing you aren’t!”
Then a knot formed in my throat.
I was already planning on taking the win from her. Taking her life.
“I- I’ll see ya later, I just remembered I have something to do in town.” I scurried off, causing Rainbow Dash to momentarily pause. As quickly as she did, however, she renewed her resolve to win the race and began another complicated array of aerial flips and twists.
~♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦~
It was now four days until the deadline. I was still trying to figure out how to bring myself to end the life of Rainbow Dash. I couldn’t bring up the courage.
Furthermore, she began spend more time with me. Whether it was because of her initiative or mine, it wasn’t truly clear. The first of those two days was dedicated to her introducing her friends to me, though I come up with some excuse to avoid meeting with Twilight Sparkle. Distracting her would only delay the time it took for her to read that book. To read my note.
As I pretended to find out— although I already knew— it was Rarity in charge of the flamboyant Carousel Boutique. When she met me, she took an odd interest in my cloak before screaming something about inspiration and going to work on another dress. Then, Applejack had offered me various apple-treats. When she shoved the pastries in my mouth against my will, I responded by showing them all what I had eaten for breakfast that day, much to everyone’s shock and disgust. Afterwards, Pinkie Pie saw me, gasped, and made not one coherent sentence before I ran away from the scene.
Oh, and Fluttershy slammed the door in my face. Something about me being scary, what with my sword and all.
The other day I spent planning Rainbow Dash’s murder. It was half-hearted, and I closed my eyes as I cleared my head of the thought.
Both days, I found myself looking at clocks, begging somepony to catch me. To stop me from doing what I was doing.
Through all of the thoughts, I kept a smile in front of that cyan pegasus. I kept telling myself that something would happen. Things would change. I wouldn’t have to kill her.
Of course, there would be no saving grace, and I knew I would have to steel my heart to the pain soon enough. I knew happy endings were a fairy tale. I learned that the first murder I ever committed.
It was just... now that I was in Ponyville; I had stopped acting like the calculating, cold person I had become. I had begun acting like my old self. Back before murder was the only word in my life.
I thought about Twilight, and how she would react when she saw my letter.
~♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦~
My hooves were guided by Octavia as she helped me drag the bow across the strings of the instrument. It was a violin, and I was more frustrated than ever. I couldn’t figure out what my talent was.
I was the last pony in my class to get my cutie mark.
The second-to-last pony in our class had gotten his almost a year ago.
I was a troublemaker. I scored top of my class in tests, but my grades were still falling behind. The constant teasing had gotten to be more than I could handle. I was never musically inclined, and, as I was quickly learning in this session with my stepsister, playing in instrument would never get my cutie mark.
“Listen, sis. I know you’d love it if we could perform some crazy music with your... cello or whatever, but I just can’t do it.” I shook her hooves off of mine and set the instrument on the coffee table. “You’d probably have better luck getting your friend Vinyl Scratch to play it.”
She laughed and shook her head. “Well, I didn’t expect it, but it was worth a shot. And hey, you have no idea how many times I’ve tried to convince her to quit messing with those records and actually play an instrument.” She rubbed my head with her hoof and trotted off, smiling.
“Y-yeah!” I said, laughing. Looking at the clock, I stood up and began to walk out of the door. My adoptive parents both were gardening in the front yard. “Hey Mom, Dad, is it okay if I go out for a while?” It had become daily life for me to refer to them as ‘mom’ and ‘dad’. “I wanna go to Pony Joe’s place. That new place near-”
“Yeah, you’ve been talking about it for a week. Ever since the grand opening fliers were passed out, you haven’t shut up about it!” Mom said, calling out from the garden.
“Honestly, I can’t wait for you to leave for that shop. I mean, just so we’ll finally have some peace and quiet around here!” Dad continued. He ended the sentence with his calming, ever-present laugh.
“Okay! See you!” I galloped off for Pony Joe’s, preparing to taste what was advertised as the best donuts in Equestria.
The line took up two city-blocks. Pony Joe had made sure to make the event a surefire hit. He had promised a free donut to the first twenty customers, a free shake to the next hundred, and a discount for anypony else that came the day of the grand opening. However, the crowd seemed to be bigger than even Pony Joe had anticipated. The line was progressing slowly, not just because of the sheer amount of ponies, but because he was running out of donuts to serve, and had to alternate between serving existing donuts to the current customers and making more for the ones still in line.
So, I did what anypony would do. I got in line and waited.
And waited.
And waited.
“Wow, these donuts really are good!” I heard to the right of me. It was a small, purple unicorn with stripes through her hair. Her smile seemed to emanate from more than just her mouth. She levitated a textbook in front of her, and stood next to a larger, white, teenage stallion with a shield as his cutie mark.
“I see you’ve spotted Twilight Sparkle. Or, her donut anyways,” I heard from behind me, it was a female’s voice. She chuckled before she continued, “What are you going to get?”
I tapped my chin thoughtfully as I spoke, “Me? Uuh, I guess a jelly donut.” Then, as was typical for somepony my age, I set down my hoof, and with a more childish tone continued, “Hopefully I can get sprinkles on it too!” I spun around to face her before falling backwards out of surprise.
I had never seen an alicorn before.
The pink alicorn smiled as she helped pick me up. “Well, I sure want one too. They sound really delicious!”
“I’ve been here since you were. You mean to tell me we’ve stood in line this entire time and you didn’t notice?”
“Guess not!” I said, scratching my mane with my hoof and blushing. “I mean, not real often a pony like you would show up behind me! So are you some princess or something?”
All I heard from her was laughter. After she calmed down, she smiled, “Princess Mi Amore Cadenza. Cadence for short.” She had a small smile on her, and I laughed as I heard her name.
“Umm, doesn’t your full name mean, ‘My Love Cadence’?” I asked her, more to taunt her than anything else. Then, before she could react, I continued, “Surprised? My sis is obsessed with classical music and composing, so of course I’ve learned my fair share of the golden age of orchestras- the Renaissance. And that includes some of the language!” I puffed out my chest proudly.
“So what’s your name?” the Princess inquired with a calm smile, “I’m sure it can’t be any better than mine.” Her large, genuine smile remained despite my teasing.
I went to reply, but the gods of fate decided to laugh at me.
The line came to an end. Not the physical end of the line, where one would then happily order donuts. The temporal end of the line. It had begun to dissolve into a massive array of panicked ponies.
I had heard the scream of the building catching fire.
It was one heartbeat before the pillar of smoke began to arise.
It was four before I clearly saw the flames.
It was six before the flames became a raging inferno.
Inside, trapped between the exit and the door, but clearly visible through the darkening window was that unicorn. She had returned to a seat inside of Pony Joe’s. The white teenaged stallion was nowhere to be found. I looked among the crowd trying to find him. However, all I saw was a flood of ponies, each either turning and watching in awe or attempting to flee from the building. She must have wandered away from him and into the building without his knowing.
Twelve heartbeats.
Behind me, the Princess seemed stunned. She was only a teenager, and had no idea what to do. She just stood there with a dumbstruck look on her face. She obviously hadn’t seen ‘Twilight’ in the window.
Seventeen heartbeats.
The roof began to give, and the screams were renewed.
“There’s a filly in there!” I said, springing into action. In school, I had learned several things about large fires such as this. Most important was to never approach it.
Of course, I never was one to follow rules.
I navigated my small, nimble body through the crowd, breaking past a line of ponies that had formed an invisible wall between the crowd and the building. Behind me, I heard calls of ponies screaming different, incoherent sentences at me, attempting to prevent me from entering the literal hell that was in front of me.
Twenty-five heartbeats.
The window crashed as I leaped through it without a second thought. I had propelled off of a nearby chair into the air and used my wings to gain even more speed as I entered the building. Inside, I heard a small, mare filly scream two words.
“My book!”
I lost track of the number of times my heart struck my chest.
The unicorn was surrounded by a ring of flames, but she was oblivious to them. As she reached under a table for a book which seemed to have slid away from her, it suddenly burst into flames. She jumped backwards, and as she did, she hit the back of her head against the top of the table.
“Twilight!” I screamed. She looked over towards me, and as I leaped through the rubble, a section of the ceiling began to give way. With complete disregard to everything I had learned in school, I took off towards her.
The crack of a bone shattering was numbed by the pain that coursed through my body. My leg had been crushed by the debris.
But I had saved the mare.
I smiled as I looked up at her shocked and fearful face. Through my quickly-blurring vision, a faint white outline of a white unicorn appeared through the rubble.
She would be safe. I knew that much. With that calming thought, my vision finally gave, and I plunged into darkness.
I awoke in a hospital room, surrounded by my adoptive family. With a weak smile, I laughed. “I never did get my donut.” And with that I returned to sleep. I didn’t even realize that I had gotten my cutie mark, a streak of bright light, on my flank. I had been agile and swift, and because of it, I had saved her life.
Pony Joe reopened his shop, this time with less insanity involved, and I never heard from Twilight or Cadence. I wasn’t exactly sure why, but I’d simply thought it was because they couldn’t. I never mentioned my name to the Princess when I was talking with her.
It was ironic, really. How heroic the events that lead to me gaining my cutie mark. I had saved a life that day.
And the rest of my life was spent using that talent to end lives.
~♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦~
Two days left.
I awoke in the library. Twilight had sent Spike off to do something, and the head of the Royal Canterlot guard stood in front of me.
I was the Nopony, and I was caught.
It had been a normal day. I had gotten up, and once again restarted my internal struggle on what to do. Wandering around town, she hadspotted me.
I looked at her indifferently. Determination seemed to radiate from every corner from her body. I knew what that had meant. She had read the book. Or, more accurately, the note that was contained in the book.
She had been looking for me.
Her horn glowed, lifting a small flower cart next to me. The mystical purple glow engulfed it as though it held a life of its own. Then, with unnatural speed, the cart few towards my head.
I had spent my life running and evading from things. This situation was no more dangerous than any of the other times I had experienced as an assassin.
I began to move. It was my lips, not my legs that moved.
I smiled at her. Relief was the only thing I expressed as the wooden cart struck the side of my skull. Like a ragdoll, I was sent flying across the street with dozens of others watching.
From the shadows, a white stallion watched, preparing to unleash the trap for when I attempted to flee from Twilight. I had already spotted him, but it made no difference.
I hadn’t attempted to avoid Twilight’s attack. I didn’t want to. He wasn’t even needed.
That stallion was head of the Royal Canterlot guard. His cutie mark, to me, was as familiar as the day I had first spotted it. A shield.
“Shining Armor, correct?” I said, quickly regaining my senses. A thick, gooey substance, which I could only assume was my blood, was dripping down the side of my face from the strike that the cart had left.
“She said she wanted to apologize.” He replied with a stone face. It seemed indifferent to the world around it.
“I know she didn’t intend to hit me. I saw you hiding in the corner. You were expecting me to dodge it, so you could lead me into a trap, right?” I said, my voice and facial expression becoming that of the hardened criminal I had become over the years.
His eyes opened ever-so-slightly when her heard me. “So you knew?”
His guard had dropped that quickly and easily. Spinning around, I undid the ropes and tackled him. His mouth opened involuntarily; he didn’t expect me to escape. With the expressionless face I had chiseled into my muscle memory, I shook my head and scolded him, “Be more careful, will you?” Taking several steps backwards as to not take my eyes off of him, I sat in the corner of the room and looked down solemnly. “You know how your sister discovered who I am, right?”
“A list. It was of names and dates.” The stallion got up from the ground and brushed himself off.
“You know how she got it?”
“She told me. You handed it to her voluntarily. That’s the only reason why nopony else was sent as backup.”
“I doubt that. I may have given her information, but I’m sure you’re not that foolish. You must have sent at least one other pony. You seriously didn’t believe that your sister would be able to handle it on her own, did you?” I asked.
He shook his head. “She’s more than just my sister. She’s the representative of the Element of Magic, and has saved Equestria multiple times. She’s just as, if not more talented at magic than I am. If anything, I was the backup.”
“I see...” My mind trailed off to that scene so many years ago, of that fire at Pony Joe’s. “There is another reason you didn’t bring any form of assistance, isn’t there?”
He looked at me for a moment without saying anything.
“You know who I am, don’t you? I’m the Nopony.” Again, the familiar sound of silence filled the air. “It was you in that fire, wasn’t it? Who ended up dragging me and Twilight out of the building after I lost consciousness?” I had always suspected that as the truth.
“She couldn’t remember who you were because she never met you after that fire. I saw you, laying there, both of you unconscious. It all came back to me when she was describing you to me... That cutie mark on your flank when I pulled you from the fire...” The captain of the royal guard seemed to be a stallion, struggling with both the chains that tied him to his duty and the demons of his past.
It was an obvious truth, but I chose to voice it nonetheless, “You aren’t sure whether you’re ready to arrest me, are you?”
He didn’t react.
“If you let me go, there will be another murder,” I stated plainly.
The white pony continued to look down in thought.
“But if you take me in, under the custody of the Royal Guard, I’m afraid a murder will happen nonetheless.”
He looked up with a slight expression of shock. With a slight stammer, he began to speak, “W-what do you mean?”
“I’m sorry, sir.” I got up from the corner and walked to the door, “I, I think I should talk about that with somepony else, first.”
“You can’t leave,” the unicorn stallion said, “Those doors are magically reinforced.”
He wasn’t lying, it had been magically reinforced, but the defenses crumbled as I opened the door. I had navigated through trickier spells before. I may not have been a unicorn, but I was an assassin, I had to know how to disperse barriers. The door shut, with every last hint of magic gone, behind me.
He didn’t follow me.
Twilight was outside. She looked at me, expecting her brother, not I, to exit.
~♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦~
I walked through different areas of Ponyville as I took the final, restless night to try to decide what I would do. I finally gave up and curled in a ball in the alleyway, as if I were a small, afraid child.
I loved Rainbow Dash. Could I really kill her in exchange for my sister’s life? Yet there was no other, alternative option. Pierce was a careful pony. He already had warned me, it was Dash’s death. Nothing less. This wasn’t some heroic story. I wasn’t some superhero with an immense amount of luck. I couldn’t save a life. I was helpless.
“I heard from my brother what happened inside... and... you know I can’t let you hurt anypony else.” That purple unicorn approached me from the entrance of the area behind Sugarcube Corner where I had finally stopped my senseless roaming.
I didn’t even care how she had found me. I didn’t move. I couldn’t. I was paralyzed by my mixed emotions of anger and fear. No words attempted to form in my mind as a response. I had ended up sitting on the ground with a forlorn expression on my face, eyes staring at the dirt and my mane drooping around me like one of Everfree’s many willow trees.
Unsure of how to continue in this situation, she changed the subject. “I finished that book. I learned a lot from it. It’s obviously a first draft, but it’s still entertaining.”
Changing the subject failed. For the next few moments, an awkward silence permeated the air until finally, my mouth willed itself to speak. “I’m sorry, Twilight.”
“So why... why are you still here? Why?!” Those words had started out almost inaudible, then, suddenly, it had risen to the point where it was a near-scream.
“I... I was interrupted on the way out of town.”
She blinked, flashing a look of surprise across her face. “What? How?”
“Someone I know met me in town before I could leave,” my voice trailed off as I remembered that incident with Pierce.
She set my note on the ground in front of me, something I hadn’t realized she was carrying. “Is everything on this note true?” she asked as she looked up at me, “Are you really the Nopony? And... were you really going to... to...”
I nodded, “Yes, I really was sent to... well, you know. I realized though... I... I can’t do it but... I...” I covered my face with my hooves. I began to shake, trying to keep my emotions from boiling over, “They have my sister, Twilight! They—” My voice cracked as I spoke, I tried in vain to keep it quiet and steady.
“I’m sorry. I can’t let you run loose like this. I mean, what would I be if I let you go?” The pain on her face was apparent. She seemed to be aching on the inside, being forced to look at the broken soul that shared the alleyway with her. “Rainbow Dash is my friend, you know. I can’t just let you go and kill her...”
“It’s like you think I want to!” I screamed at her, tears falling from my eyes. She was taken aback.
Yet she continued, “It isn’t like we can just go and kill her. There are other choices. Ones where we don’t have to see somepony die. We can contact the Royal Canterlot Guard. They can find her. They can—”
I cut her off. The fury was all I had left to cling on to. Every other emotion had given up on me. “Damn it Twilight! You think that all it takes is to call some officials and things will be all right? That some magical event will happen!? Canterlot is a huge city, and this isn’t some fairy tale where things will always work out! They’ve spent their lives outsmarting the Guard, you think they’d be outsmarted tonight of all nights!?” Before that very moment, I had been unaware that my voice had risen to a complete yell. It was only when my heavy breathing was the only sound audible in the night did I realize I had been screaming at the top of my lungs. That realization made the silence all the more intense. As if it hadn’t been before, my heart shattered as I saw the face of the mare across from me. Her eyes were wide open; her mouth in a sort of frown a filly would make if their favorite toy was smashed. It was as if my voice had projected every emotion I had been feeling onto her, and it suddenly struck her across the face. She was about as stunned as she was upset.
“I... I’m sorry Twilight.” I reached behind me and removed the cloak that had concealed my all those many nights. “Fear got the best of me...” I let my mane droop as I looked at the ground, exhausted from the yelling I had done. It was a tiredness that affected my emotions, along with my body. I undid my cloak and let it rest on the ground beside me.
Twilight stood there silently.
“You can keep the book. Sis... she won’t...” My voice wasn’t under my control as I tried to put into words the inevitable reality I was facing. Twilight wouldn’t let me leave. Her friend’s life depended on her actions here. She understood that. I understood that.
And I ended the letter with a sentence that confused her. “It seems you’ve grown into a fine mare since the first time I met you, Twilight Sparkle. I’m sure your parents and your brother must be proud.”
It had been enigmatic because her brother hadn’t told her who I was. She hadn’t already known. She hadn’t shared the letter with her brother, either. He hadn’t told her because it didn’t cross his mind to.
“I... I kept the letter a secret from my brother. I... I wanted to ask you myself. When... when did you first meet me!?” She took a step forward, as though asserting herself.
“You honestly don’t remember? The Pony Joe’s event, back when it first opened?” I said looking up.
“W-wait!” She blinked a second time, “Were you-” She had understood what I was trying to say.
“It’s how I got this cutie mark, Twilight. Sorry I couldn’t save your book.”
She stood there, eyes looking into space, mouth slightly ajar. She couldn’t process the information I had given her. The Nopony was the pony who had saved her all those years ago. Back when she was relatively new in Canterlot. When she was a filly. The Nopony saved her life.
Twilight’s countless books on ethics gave little insight on what to do.
She cared deeply from her friends, but this pony had saved her life. Was it right for him to lose his only chance to save his sister because of her actions? She was already indebted to this pony. Was it right for her to let him go? He was a killer; she shouldn’t let past favors influence her decisions. He was after her friend, Rainbow Dash, after all.
But she had a brother. She loved him with all of her heart. She could only imagine what the pony next to her was going through.
To be responsible for your sibling’s death, albeit indirectly...
She understood where I stood at that very moment. Even with her knowledge supplemented by the books written over the course of many lifetimes, was at a loss of what to do.
~♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦~
I awoke with a start as I felt a light punch against my shoulder. It was Rainbow Dash. She was already wearing a jersey and headband that, oddly, had gems embedded into it. “What are you doing here? I was up all night looking for you!” I looked around and realized I had passed out in the alley way.
Twilight was nowhere to be found.
“I went over to Twilight’s this morning to see if she’d found you. Dunno why, but Spike was outside. Said she’s magically closed the entire building up. I even heard a rumor this morning Twilight hit you with a flower cart!” Pausing, she saw the scabbed-up wound on my forehead. “What was she thinking!? When I get my hooves on her I’ll—” Her anger flared up when she noticed the wound on my forehead.
“There was a reason for what she did. Don’t worry too much about it.” I had begun to wake up from the daze I was in, slowly recollecting what had happened yesterday.
My eyes dilated.
I had to kill her today.
“Look, want to hang out today? I mean, I gotta go to Canterlot tomorrow to get ready for the opening ceremony. But today, I think I should rest up. I mean, I can’t be tired for the race after all, right?” She smiled, and as she did, an ache began to form in my heart. Still, I steeled myself because at the end of the day, she’d be dead. I suppose helping her enjoy her last day was all I could do. I got up, and walked away with her, leaving my red cloak on the ground.
We ran all over town, doing whatever she wanted to do at the time. We pulled a few pranks, finding my stealth an invaluable asset for doing things such as rigging all of the straw in Applejack’s farm to fall on top of her when she walked into her barn. Rainbow Dash showed me some of the cooler places around Ponyville, and I showed her a few things with my “oversized knife.”
I hadn’t had this much fun since...
My thoughts were interrupted. We had arrived Sugarcube Corner and I insisted on paying for the treats.
And she grabbed my hoof and sprinted out of the door. “Ohmygosh! I totally forgot!” I was barely out of the door, stumbling because of the shock when she spun around me and lifted me up in the air.
We landed at the entrance of her cloud house. I hadn’t even comprehended what was going on when I heard the pony in front of me yell, “Wait right here!” and disappear inside. Moments later, she reappeared with seven small tickets in her mouth. A single golden trim was immediately noticeable as she set them down on the cloud. “I have to hand these to my friends before tomorrow! They’re the tickets to the opening ceremony and the start of the race! I totally forgot to hand them out!”
I smiled and shook my head. “Okay then, Rainbow Dash.”
She lowered me to the ground below the house, and flew off thinking she would deliver the tickets to Applejack and Fluttershy, since they didn’t live in the middle of the town. She took three tickets, and left me with the other four. Before she took off, she said, “Just take care of Rarity, Pinkie Pie, Twilight, and Spike, will ya?” I was going to object to the last two, but Dash had already zoomed off to meet Applejack by the time I opened my mouth.
I delivered the tickets to Rarity and Pinkie Pie with little hassle, but when I went to the library and knocked, nopony answered.
“She’s not going to answer, and you aren’t gonna get in. I know, I’ve tried.” I heard Spike’s voice behind me Turning to face him, I nodded. Wanting to avoid a confrontation with Twilight, I began to walk towards him to hand him the two tickets.
I was about to tell him that one was for Twilight, when I was suddenly was interrupted by the door to the Library cracking open, and a restless unicorn peering out before asking, “Did... did you do it yet?” It seemed as if she was stating fact. As if she was too tired to add emotions to her speech.
“No... not yet,” I replied.
She replied with a nod before opening the door all the way. “Sorry, Spike. It was unfair for me to keep you outside all day. You can come in, if you’d like.”
Behind me, the childish dragon made a high-pitched squeal which I could only assume was out of joy, “Finally, I’m starving!”
Closing the door behind her, she walked up to me. Her mane and tail were were so messy they would cause Rarity to have physical reactions. The bags under her eyes were apparent, even with her purple complexion. She looked as if she hadn’t even eaten all day.
“I tried everything. Nopony in the Canterlot area knows where Octavia is...” Her mane drooped as she realized I had been right the night before. “There isn’t any way to save them both... is there?”
I placed a hoof on her back and handed her the tickets with my mouth. She looked over to Spike and handed him his ticket. She stiffly said, “This ticket is yours.” I didn’t know what overcame me, but suddenly I felt bad for her. She did what she could today. All in an attempt to prevent her friend’s death.
And my sister’s death.
The mare in front of me took it, and looked at the ground for a moment, deep in thought.
“Thanks, Twilight,” I said, and began trotting away.
Outside, her body was frozen, but underneath her fur, it seemed a torrent of emotions were trying to break free. After a moment of my trotting, I felt a soft, magical glow around me. “I... I can’t let you go.”
I understood how she felt. Rainbow was one of her best friends.
“I... I can’t let you leave. She’s my friend. Even if you saved my life, it doesn’t give me the right to let you kill her!” She took a step forward.
“I understand. I never expected anything else from you. You’re a great friend, Twilight.” I tried to steel myself to the sadness as I left the poor mare unconscious on the ground, next to the two tickets, and with a pink card in her hooves. It held more words than it usually did.
I’m sorry for your loss.
...but I have my own friend. My sister. And I can’t let anyone kill her.
Sorry, Twilight.
~♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦~
Rainbow Dash caught up with me in town. We sat around the fountain where we met and talked about the Wonderbolts, flying, and whatever else came to our minds. As we talked, I’d noticed she still held a gold-trimmed ticket, but made nothing of it.
“I guess we’d better get home,” Dash said after we’d talked for a while. She’d noticed the sun beginning to set. Grabbing me by my hooves, she picked me up and took off towards her house.
What she hadn’t noticed was that I had put back on the cloak we’d left in the alleyway that morning, as it once again concealed the small sword I carried with me.
My mind kept screaming at me to stop, but I was doing everything I could to harden my soul for the next few moments.
She was amazing. She’d made me happy.
With her, I could laugh.
But I was a killer. I couldn’t just forget that life. I had tried so hard these past few weeks. To pretend I was in another world.
How I wish I could have succeeded.
“You know, I’ve had a lot of fun these past few days,” Rainbow Dash said, still looking ahead of her. The wind blowing across her mane made the scene feel almost serene. “So thanks.”
I looked up at her, shocked. It seemed so unusual for her to act this way. To thank somepony so calmly? She usually said it in a way that would be ‘cool’.
This wasn’t her normal, ‘cool’ obsessed self.
She shook her head and laughed it off, returning back to her normal personality. I stayed silent as we continued to fly to her home, now nearing faster and faster.
We landed after what seemed to be an aeon. At the doorstep, she spun around.
“This last ticket’s for you. I hope you have fun tomorrow.” She spoke with a smile on her face. She held the ticket out with her hoof, and as I went to reach it, I felt her brush up against my lips.
She’d given me the smallest kiss.
I blushed a deep red hue and stuttered as though I had suddenly forgotten how to speak.
I’d never had a mare fall for me. Then again, I’d never fallen for a mare myself. I was always occupied with my job. So here I was, one of the most dangerous ponies in Equestria, blushing, stuttering, and acting like a young colt.
Then I saw the sky. The sunset was blood-red. Time was almost up.
“I... I’m sorry Rainbow Dash.”
The look on her face was odd. A slight frown formed slowly on her face. Trying to change that look, she began to speak, “Well that’s funny. I dunno, why, but I suddenly feel kinda sad. Whatever, it’s probably nothing. So I guess we’d better get ready for bed. Tomorrow’s a big day.” She’d tried to turn it into a joke, but it seemed something really did bother her.
My heart could have stopped then. I didn’t want to kill her. I didn’t want to tell her how long I had planned to do this.
I clenched my eyes, now filled with tears, as I tried to talk. It wasn’t the voice of the pony anymore. It was cracking and squeaking as though I had been mute my entire life. “I... I’m sorry Rainbow Dash. I... I really... I don’t want to do this.”
She stopped walking as the silent sounds of my tears hit the cloudy surface. “What are you talking about?” She turned to face me with her mouth slightly open and her brows slightly scrunched in confusion. Suddenly, however, her eyes opened widely, caught off guard..
“Sorry, Dashie.” I unsheathed my sword and tackled her to the cloud’s surface. She hadn’t the chance to resist at all. I had her pinned.
I hadn’t planned it out with the careful, slow pace I had always done. Still, it was just like every other time I killed a pony. Her eyes were tearing up from the confusion and fear, “What are you doing? What’s going on?”
Teardrops were the only reply. Opening my eyes after trying once again to suppress the tears, I looked directly at her face. She stared back, unflinching.
I saw her feelings in those eyes.
The sword, clenched firmly between my teeth, slowly became loose, eventually falling harmlessly onto the cloud next to my target.
She wasn’t afraid of me. She was hurt by my betrayal.
“What am I doing?” I said, more exhaled than spoken.
I took several steps back, unpinning Rainbow Dash.
“I... I’m so sorry. I... I wasn’t thinking straight...”
Several more steps backwards.
I looked down at my hooves, reliving the deaths of every pony I had killed before. Why had I done that? What a horrible thing I had become! I was a killer that had spent his life a disillusioned fool. I pretended to myself that I was on the side of justice, and I had fooled nopony.
I took another step backwards, but my hind leg found only the air. As if it didn’t register, I continued to complete the step, and tumbled backwards off the edge of her home.
I didn’t cry out. I was too busy thinking about the mistakes I had made throughout my life. The deaths I had caused. The friends and families of the ones I had killed.
I realized how everypony had felt after I’d killed them. This wasn’t the justice I’d tried to convince myself it was. It couldn’t be.
Regret. It was all my mind could do to not shatter under the weights of my regrets.
And only one coherent thought formed throughout that descent that hadn’t had anything to do with it.
“I failed, Octavia.”
My cloak, though carefully fastened to me, let go of its grip around me. The wind claimed it for its own, but I did not care. My visions were too horrifying.
The waterfalls that fell from Rainbow Dash’s home emptied into a lake. They were rainbow-colored, and the water around where the waterfalls landed were colored in beautiful hues, but they soon dissolved into a deep blue. The surface looked as though a thousand gemstones covered it, but only a few rays pierced the surface, miking the depths slowly fade into blackness.
The splash finally interrupted the constant roar of the wind. Engulfed in a cocoon of water, the bandages that had covered my wings came loose. I was sinking, and consciousness slowly began to fade from me.
It was a feeling that was warm, comforting, and oddly euphoric. Death had finally begun to welcome me into its arms.
The tears that came from my eyes were swallowed by the water, but then I felt myself rising. It was a familiar feeling.
She’d saved me again.
Even when I was falling into the depths of the water, she came to pull me out of the depths of despair.
She pulled me onto shore, and as I coughed, regaining the air I so needed, she sat silently next to me on the beach.
“Why?” I looked at her.
She said it without emotion, “I’d never let a friend go like that.”
Too weak to do everything else, I smiled at her, weakly.
My eyes closed and I slowly slipped into a deep slumber.
I had made my decision.
Goodbye, Octavia.
I love you. I always will.
~♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦~
Nopony’s Innocent, but that doesn’t mean they deserve to die.
Maybe ponies deserve that second chance. Just like the one Shining Armor had given me. I’d gone about life in a way that had always been wrong. But that would all change today. “One hundred twenty-three million bits on Rainbow Dash.” My voice was confident. There was no hesitation.
One-hundred twenty-three million.
Every last bit of my life savings was thrown together to make that bet.
The man in charge of the betting stands at the start of the race involuntarily dropped his jaw. Looking at the pile of bits I had delivered, he asked for information on where to deliver winnings, if I were so fortunate.
So I did what many ponies spent their entire life doing.
I lied like a dog.
As far as he knew, I lived in a cloud castle above Ponyville. Rainbow waterfalls and everything.
I chose not to stick around after placing that bet. I couldn’t. It had taken everything I had to convince Celestia to let me do this one thing. It was only because of my sister’s loss, the fact I had willingly offered myself to the royal guards, and Shining Armor’s support she had let me leave for going to the race course. I had told her all I wanted to do was apologize to Rainbow Dash and Twilight Sparkle.
I peered over to where many of the contestants had gathered. I saw all of Dash’s friends lined up; giving her last-minute pep talks to prepare her for a race she was more than ready to win. Smiling, I went to walk away, to return to the castle, where I promised I would meet Shining Armor.
But before I could leave, I felt a tug on my tail. The one that hadn’t been covered by a cloak since the day before.
“I wanted to give this to you.” It was Twilight Sparkle. She had appeared, alongside the pony who had saved my life.
It was a pink note. One oddly recognizable. It was the one I had placed into her hands when I had escaped from her.
Without opening it, tears welled up in my eyes. I nodded in understanding, because I couldn’t talk. The realization Twilight had told Dash about everything wasn’t hard to come to. The sadness on her face spoke of it all.
The nod was followed by a kiss.
“Miss you, too.” I gave her a hug and turned around. “Win for me, okay?”
I slowly trotted towards Canterlot Castle, leaving my last hopes of freedom behind me. As I walked, I opened the note Twilight handed me.
My message was still there, but on the bottom were words created by a pony obviously unaccustomed to any form of writing.
“Thanks, for everything.
…
I love you. Even if you never bothered to tell me your name.
-Rainbow Dash”
I met with Shining Armor at the agreed spot. For some reason, I thought of my cloak, as it was swept away by the winds. I was easier to say goodbye to that idea of wearing a cloak than it should have been.
~♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦♦~
It wouldn’t take the day for news to circulate throughout Equestria that the Nopony was caught.
It wouldn’t take a week before news would reach me that Rainbow Dash had been sent nine-hundred million bits in mysterious winnings.
Celestia made arrangements for Dash to visit me, even though visits for ponies like me were technically prohibited. Even the princess had her merciful side. I thanked her, though she made nothing of it. “We all need something to look forward to.”
Pierce and Wind Seeker had been found three days after the race. They had lost everything with their bets. They’d been too confident. Pierce lost his power in the underground when his finances crumbled, and Wind Seeker was easy to pinpoint right afterwards. They... had done a terrible job with Octavia, and left behind a lot of evidence.
Actually, when they found Wind Seeker, he was hanging from a rope.
Celestia let me attend my sister’s funeral, though an escort of pegasi followed me throughout the entire process. It was over. The past days I had spent learning innocence were finally at an end. The feeling was so surreal. Everything had happened in such a short time. It was hard to believe I had lost my sister. It hurt. It really did, but I tried to remain strong, so as to keep her death away from Dash’s conscience.
The day was scheduled to be cloudy, and the slight sprinkle made it seem as if the entire world was mourning her death. I stood next to a talented purple unicorn and a Wonderbolt with a rainbow mane. I paid little attention to the funeral service; the memories of her were all that consumed my mind. In the end, I couldn’t help but smile as Octavia’s casket was lowered into the ground. I had thought of everything we had done together, how much time we had spent together, and how different we had become in the end. Then I looked at how I had changed in Ponyville. I had experienced joy and happiness. I had let my fears and sadness show. I had even begun to fall in love.
It still hurt to think about it, the fact I had been partly responsible my sister’s death. The only reason I could cope with it was because of the pegasus who stayed beside me whenever she could.
After all had been said and done, I knew this was the ending she would have wanted.
I had vowed to never hurt anypony, innocent or not, again.
Octavia would have been proud of me.
