"Time travel?" Sunset Shimmer echoed the words spoken a moment ago by the beautiful, leather-clad redhead sitting in front of her. "THAT'S what I'm supposed to assume?"
"Well, sure. What else would it be?"
"I can think of a whole list of explanations. You could be my originally human counterpart. My demon form, somehow separated from me and disguised as a normal human. Magic cloning. Hey, you know what? If you're supposed to be ME, YOU tell me the rest of the list."
"You're doing fine." The intruder relaxed against the couch's backrest. "Maybe a counterpart from an alternate timeline? And you should always be careful to rule out changelings."
"There, you see?" Sunset said. "You could be LOTS of things other than future me."
"That's true." The redhead nodded. "I'm glad I'm so smart. But you know how to check for each of those, right?"
"Well, sure. My human self is in the Dragon World, where she flies and breathes fire and is way too cool to ever want to come back HERE. My demon form doesn't really turn back into human form very well...I think." Sunset walked towards the kitchen corner of her generously sized loft apartment. "Hey, while I'm in the kitchen, you want something to drink?"
"I'll have whatever you're having. Since I already know I like it."
A minute later, Sunset returned holding two glasses of water. "Here, have one."
After the intruder drank down a long swallow, Sunset said, "My demon self probably wouldn't drink holy water like that."
The couch occupier said, "That really hits the spot. And of course, I knew you'd do that."
"But are you a magic clone?"
"Magic clones are kind of dumb, so they always make lots of stupid mistakes. If I'm a magic clone, you'll know pretty soon, one way or another."
"True." Sunset asked, "What was next on the list?"
"Alternate timelines and changelings."
"Good!" Sunset smiled. "If you were a magic clone, you wouldn't have been smart enough to get that right twice in a row."
"Check if I'm from an alternate timeline," the intruder said. "Ask me some questions."
"When was Haymerica discovered?"
"1492, by Christopher Coltlumbus. Unless you're looking for Eric the Roan, which was...around 1000, I guess? He discovered Caneighda, and MAYBE the state of Mane. And before him, the Native Haymericans."
"Let's try more recent events. How did the Haytriots versus Blue Stockings game turn out last week?"
"You don't know, because we don't care about that. We only care about sports if the Wondercolts are playing, or other friends of ours, I guess."
"Correct!" Sunset agreed. "But what about changelings?"
The intruder smiled knowingly. "I know about that one spot on your thigh, where...you know." She grinned devlishly. "Would a changeling know about that?"
"Um. I guess the only people who would know about that are ME...and Flash Sentry because of the one time he touched me there and I gave him a black eye." Sunset balled her hands into fists. "But what if a changeling seduced Flash Sentry, maybe even disguised as me? And maybe she injected him with her changeling venom, and interrogated him? Then she might have found out about the spot."
The intruder chuckled.
Sunset asked, "Will you excuse me?' I'd like to make a quick phone call."
The couch intruder shrugged. "I think I need to use the bathroom, anyway."
When her double was out of the room, Sunset Shimmer pulled her mobile out of her back pocket, and tapped at the screen. "Hello, Flash? I know this might sound weird, but...has anyone who looked like me seduced you lately? And have you told anyone about the reason I knocked you unconscious that one time?"
"Uh-huh," she said. "No one at all? This is very important. I have to make sure someone is really me, not someone else."
"What do you MEAN Equestria girls are all crazy? Fine, DO date girls from Crystal Prep instead. Date Principal Cinch for all I care. But promise me you'll do ONE THING first. Before you ask any of them out, ask Twilight Sparkle...the one who used to go to Crystal Prep.
"No, don't ask her out on on a date! Ask her which Crystal Prep girls are treacherous and evil, and in what ways, so you'll be warned."
Sunset Shimmer listened for a minute. "I see. Well, ask Twilight for advice anyway." After a moment, Sunset put the phone back in her pocket.
Sunset heard the toilet flush.
Soon, her double came out of the bathroom. "How was your phone call?"
Sunset admitted, "I GUESS you're not a changeling? Also, Flash told me he's finally figured out his type. He mostly likes girls who are evil. That one time he had a crush on Princess Twilight was because of a misunderstanding."
The couch intruder laughed. "And this news surprises you, slightly younger me? He dated YOU, didn't he? Back BEFORE you reformed?"
"No! I mean, I wasn't THAT evil! Not usually! I was just...a 'mean girl,' you know? Doing whatever it took to call myself a queen bee who ruled the school?"
"I have news for my slightly younger self, honey. People who see themselves that way generally ARE evil."
"But...the magic took control of me! It wasn't my fault!"
"Sure. Keep telling yourself that. I know you'll figure out the truth eventually."
Sunset's double stepped closer, and put her arms around Sunset. "Changeling was the last item on the list. Or were there any others?"
Sunset looked nervous. "I don't think so. Or...maybe we should double-check! What are the answers for next week's history test?"
The double chuckled throatily. "Sunset, Sunset. You're reformed, remember? Good girls don't cheat on history tests." The double licked Sunset's neck. "You ARE reformed, right? We're not doing anything really wrong. EVERY girl...'explores her own body' at one time or another. We're just BETTER at it, that's all."
Sunset struggled out of her double's arms. "This is so sudden! I'm not used to having another me trying to...whatever it is you're trying to do! Can't you let me get used to you first?"
"Darling. Ever-so-slightly younger me. The safest time travel spells are only short term. That means...we don't have a whole lot of time. Of all the lovers you could hope for, I'm the one who knows you best of all. I know what you REALLY like. And you can tell me anything...because you already have."
"But...this is crazy."
The double stepped closer, and nuzzled Sunset's neck. "This isn't crazy at all. It's unorthodox, I'll admit--"
"Oh. OH. You really know how to kiss me there."
"Of course I do. Because I'm you."
"Wow. You were right. You DO know what I like."
***
Sunset woke up in the middle of the night, sprawled on the living room floor. Applejack and Rainbow Dash stood holding baseball bats. Along with Twilight Sparkle, Rarity, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, and a Flash Sentry with bits of green goo stuck to him, they all glared at a second Sunset Shimmer, who was tied up in ropes.
Sunset rubbed her neck. "What's going on? What are you all doing here? Why do I feel like someone bit my neck and injected--oh."
Flash blushed bright red. "I'm so sorry, Sunset. I thought she was you, and then she...well, I guess now you know too, she can be very seductive."
Sunset shouted, "But I checked for ALL the possibilities! This world's original Sunset Shimmer...who wouldn't be here anyway because being a dragon is cooler! My demon form, somehow separated from me! Magic clone! Alternate timeline me! And changelings! What else is there?"
The other Sunset chuckled throatily. The real Sunset thought, she did that yesterday evening too. That laugh should have made me at least a little suspicious. But it was so sexy, I didn't even think about it!
Other Sunset sneered. "You checked for each of those, like a good little student of Princess..." Other Sunset spat on the floor, making a little green puddle that smoked a little. "...Celestia, may ichor drown her. But did you think to check for someone who's ALL OF THOSE POSSIBILITIES AT THE SAME TIME?"
"Huh?" Sunset asked.
"I'm a changeling queen from another timeline, who changed myself into the disguised demon clone of the future version of the original human Sunset Shimmer!"
"But I called Flash Sentry to make sure he hadn't told you about...well..."
Flash said, "The place on your thigh that when someone touches it, makes you kick uncontrollably? The one that I first learned about when you gave me a black eye without meaning to?"
"Well...yes."
"I guess she learned about that spot from someone in another timeline. But in this timeline, she impersonated you for long enough to trick me and put me in a changeling cocoon and steal my phone. So if you thought you were talking to me, you must have been talking to a changeling who had my phone, who was pretending to be me."
Sunset remembered how, when she'd used her phone to ask Flash questions, her duplicate had gone out of the room. "Well...I guess that makes sense."
"And also," Flash said, "She is WAY better in bed than you."
"What? How can you SAY that? I know you and I slept in the same bed a couple times, but we never DID anything there! Nothing like...THAT!"
Flash sighed. "When she climbed into bed with me, we HELD HANDS. Do you know what that's like?"
"I...uh...I guess I don't. I've never held hands with a BOY before. In Equestria, all the boys had...hooves."
Flash nodded. "I am so glad I'm not in Equestria."
***
At Canterlot High School, the glare from the statue's base slowly dimmed. Sunset and her friends stood around, finally daring to relax a little now that the changeling was disposed of.
"So that's one evil changeling queen taken care of!" Twilight said. "I hope you don't mind, Sunset, that before you woke up I used your magic book to write to Princess Twilight and make sure she knew we needed to send her an evil changeling queen. Since Equestrians know how to deal with changelings better than we do."
"Sure. Whatever." Sunset yawned. "Just one question. How are you sure you sent the right me back?"
"Do you notice how none of us have black eyes?"
"Um. I guess that's true."
Pinkie explained, "Flash touched evil duplicate Sunset A LOT, just to make sure she wasn't you! Because if she WAS you, she would have kicked him when he touched the secret spot that your evil duplicate knows exists, but she doesn't know exactly where it is. But if he was only going to touch her just ONCE, in the ONE place, then when he touched her, she would have guessed to try to kick him the first time. See?"
"So," Sunset said. "What a sacrifice."
Flash flashed her a grin. "Anything to help rescue you from an evil changeling duplicate of an alternate universe robot queen, Sunny!"
"Robot?"
"Ah think we can tell you that part when we've all had some coffee, sugar."
Author's Note
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Edits made after 2021 October 28 (Eastern Daylight Savings Time, United States. Collected for judges' reference)
- October 29, 1:40 am (Make it harder to misunderstand who is speaking, because in Sunset's living room we are hearing only one side of a conversation.)
"Uh-huh~~.~~ ," she said. "No one at all? This is very important. I have to make sure someone is really me, not someone else."
* November 2, 11:12pm (typo fix)
Sunset asked, "Will you excuse me?' I'd like to make a quick phone call."
