The Twilight of a Lost World

I felt my body falling into an infinite abyss, and as darkness swallowed my entire essence, the void tried to state its claim over my mind and my memory. I didn't know what was happening, as everything felt like a dream. A formless and strange dream where the only thing I could do was to try and resist, in an effort to preserve my own sense of self.

Even so, it feels that I failed as I couldn't remember who I was or even what my name was, just flashes and scenes from, what I assumed, was my life.

In those flashes, I saw myself bedridden ever since birth with an unknown illness that was eating me from the inside; the desperation of my parents trying to save me, even though it would make them miserable, and I could even speak to them and say to them to give up, that I couldn't bear to see them suffering like that.

What were their names again? I can't help it, it seems that, just like my name, I can't remember their names too.

It's sad, really. I wish I could be there for them. I wish I could help people as they did to me. Now I understand why I felt as if I was falling, why I can't move, and why everything is this utterly terrifying darkness.

I am dead... or dying.

It seems I will not become a doctor anymore... As if I ever had a chance... hahaha...

And as I was finishing my line of thought, that's when I heard a distinguish sound, something that sounded exactly like the bell sounds from the churches my mother took me to as a child to pray for my cure... and then a metallic voice, not much dissimilar to a computer-generated voice, spoke from the blackness.

"Outsider, your path has ended, but for you another life was granted.

For your past life, your desires and fears, you received the gift "Divine connection" ".

It was very strange because I instantly knew what this "Divine connection" was because, as the voice spoke, many flashes of memories flooded my mind.

I remember that, when I was eleven, a doctor told me that it was useless to keep fighting, that my destiny was sealed, and that I would not pass from the age of fifteen... that I should stop with the medication, and that all I would accomplish was to die slower. Worst yet, the other doctors that my family took me to reflect the idea of the first.

There was no one I could look after to give me hope, and I fell into despair.

But my family couldn't just let me die. They encouraged me to fight back, to never give up, and that, even if we are dammed, we should fight till our last breath no matter what.

Because of this I sought refuge in religion, I didn't really enter any cult, churches or whatever, but I was always there for those who wanted to help the unfortunate, no matter the religion or beliefs they had. I was there, but I wanted to do more, even with the crumbling body I had – I always love to help people.

But even so, I wanted to ask God, or any higher being, why everything was the way it was. Not that I would change anything. I had marvelous parents that were always there for me, and I resisted the illness much more time than expected... for God's sake, last night I was thirty-three, after all.

And this seemed to be what this gift was related to. When I reached this conclusion, a dreadful feeling took over the entirety of my being.

What was it? No idea. All I could feel was fear as the surrounding abyss started to crack, letting small rays of blinding light enter. And before I could realize what was happening, I cried.

"HOPE, IT'S A GIRL!" A woman wearing a nurse's clothing yelled, hurting my ears and, combining with the blinding lights that were hurting my eyes, made me cry even louder."AND LOOK, SHE LOOKS JUST LIKE YOU!"

The nurse then put me in the arms of another woman, it was incredible how this simple act calmed me. I didn't know what was happening, but I had a suspicion that the strange voice I heard while in the void wasn't lying. For God's sake, I could barely move my body, but this was more than I could do for YEARS!

I can't deny it, it was really strange being held by the woman I suspect was my mother, but I was hungry and, without thinking much, I started feeding myself while my mother hummed a lullaby, cuddling me tight.

It was strange, I was a baby girl, but... Was I a girl before? Or I was a guy? No matter what happened, I couldn't figure out who I was, only shards of information and nothing more.

Well, that doesn't matter anymore, and, to tell the truth, I really don't care about it.

Anyway, one thing I knew for sure was that my new mother was... different from what I expected. I am pretty sure that people don't normally have light purple skin, but her hair was a beautiful shade of gold. I have no problem with this, it just sounds awesome!

But that asks the question, "what color am I?" I need to know!

Maybe I am red, the color of fire and courage or maybe my skin is blue like the ocean and calmness... I know! Maybe I am yellow, the color of the sun and kindness!

"Kind Heart, you're a terrible liar, you know..." my mother spoke, worry seeping from her voice, "She is..."

While I was gorging myself with milk, I felt my new mother's words drill in my mind. Something was wrong, really wrong... maybe my illness came to this new life with me? Or maybe I had some problem with my new body that I couldn't see? Please, woman, talk!

"No, this is not a problem. She is healthy, I can guarantee it."

"But she has no color... her skin and even its small patch of hair..."

Now I understand. I was colorless in a world where everyone had strange and colorful skins... well, it is a boomer, but isn't that big of a deal, right?
Of course, I wanted to be beautiful, with the color of the sky and the sun, but, well... beggars can't choose, right?
I was given another chance at life with what looked like a healthy body, and this, for me, was fantastic.
Even so, I really wanted to be red... Anyway...

My line of thoughts made me stop my feeding frenzy so I could look at my mother, only to find that she was looking at me too, and when our eyes met and I saw her beautiful golden gaze, I felt something warm inside.

"Can you see it, Hope, she has your eyes and is healthy. Now, please, you need to rest. You just gave birth."

"Thanks..."

The nurse took me from my mother's hand and with the utmost care took me to the nursery. It seems I will have a long road ahead of me, and it will be so FUN!

Well, time really passes when all you can do is eat, sleep, and poop; and my low ability to control my bodily fluids is really annoying. Yes, the diapers really help, but it is annoying nonetheless. Of course, this is not much different from the state I was in my previous life, but now, at least, I can feel my body growing. Anyway, six months had passed.

And with time, I started learning more and more about my own body, its capacity and limits. I could do much, but one thing that I could do was gathering information about this world I was born in from the conversations I heard in my surroundings. I couldn't do much, but I did learn a bit about my family.

First, it seems the naming conventions are different from the ones on earth, like, my mother's name is 'Wide Hope', this is not a normal name, I am certain of it. And when I thought it was a one thing deal, I managed to learn my father's name, 'Bright Road'... He literally had road on his name... I'm a little afraid of the name they put on me because all they have called me to this point is 'Bright', and the thought that the naming convention of this land requires two names makes me really anxious. I want an awesome name beyond Bright.

And by the Gods, if my name ends up being Bright Knob, I swear that I will hit someone with a door!

If I managed to grab one, of course... And if I get strong enough to do so... okay, maybe not a door, but something hard like a stick! A really HARD stick!

Another thing I found interesting was the extreme difference between my mother and father. They are like water and oil, dark and light.

My mother, Wide Hope, is a small woman, but I can be certain because I am the smallest thing in the world right now... anyway, she is so kind and wonderful that I am without words to describe her... she is always here, playing with me, holding me, talking to me and is kind and charismatic with everyone. She never leaves my side. Of course, she has the strange purple shade on her skin, but it seems it's normal around here... and her hair is beautiful!

I am so entranced by her golden hair that when she picks me up, I try to touch it in a futile attempt at taking some of her golden colors to me... I'm colorless, after all, but I heard someone speaking that my eyes are the same color as my mother's, so they are probably gold too, but I haven't seen it yet by myself.

My father, on the other hand, well... he is... special?
Ever since I was brought home, I have seen him only one time. He is a big, muscular guy, but, by the clothes he was wearing, he must work in some kind of office. His skin is dark gray and his hair is brown, nothing much flashy. To tell the truth, at first I believed I had a single mother till the guy showed up with his rocky like charisma.

I really don't know much about him, but if my mother is with him, he must be a nice guy... right?

Who would know that I would be considered a genius?
I'm a year old now, and I have developed a fantastic vocabulary, and this has no relation whatsoever with the fact that I have knowledge of my previous life. Unfortunately, I can't walk just yet, but I am developing fast.

So I used what I had and crawled everywhere in the house, to a point that my mother had to try to restrain me with small fences, or even locking the crib...

kukuku...

The poor woman doesn't realize that I am the great escape master!
At least as masterful as a one-year-old can be.
But I can't help it... before being reborn, I remember being trapped inside my own body for years, incapable of moving even my finger... but now, now I am free. Besides, I have the opportunity to explore the house, and it is gorgeous.

It is a one-store house with four bedrooms, two of with are empty, two bathrooms, one kitchen and... a communal place? Living room? I really can't remember the name of the place, but everything is gorgeous and carefully decorated by my mother. After all, I believe that if it were my dad, he would hang a picture of a grain of dirt in the kitchen and call it a day.

And about him... well, nothing changed much with him...

He is rarely at home, and when he is, he barely looks at me... at first I thought that he hated me, but I know that it is impossible, because I'm an adorable baby. He is just a strange guy.

But something really strange happened yesterday when I was practicing my vocabulary in one of the empty rooms when something really strange happened.

I was concentrating on my word because even if my mind knows them, the body doesn't follow it flawlessly. So with all my focus, I decided to ask a simple question to no one. Why did I do it? I don't know, it was a feeling or maybe intuition.

"AM... I ... ALIVE?"

Yes, it was an absolutely dumb question, but what happened next was, without a doubt, fantastical. First, I felt a warm sensation inside me as if an energy was building up and expanding from the core of my being to the tip of the fingers in an explosive movement. And then a metallic voice sounded inside my mind.

"YES."

My eyes widened, and my body felt heavy and stiff; my mind started to get foggy and as a strong fatigue took over me.

What was happening? That was the question ringing on my mind till I reached my own conclusion.

The "Divine Connection".