“So, we’re really doing this?”

“Well, I think it’s a little late to turn back now.”

Twilight Sparkle looked out at the room she was about to address. Creatures from all corners of Equestria and beyond had gathered in her castle, making idle chitchat at different tables as they waited. It felt a little silly, knowing what she gathered them all here for.

“Alright, go get ‘em, girl,” Spike said, giving her a playful smack on her flank to push her forward.

With a blush already on her cheeks, Twilight stepped up onto the stage and cleared her throat to gather their attention. “Hello, everyone, glad to see you all made it!” she excitedly clapped her hooves together. “Thank you to all of you for agreeing to participate in this year’s No Clop November!”

“WOOOOOO!” With a loud and boisterous cheer, Pinkie Pie set off her party cannon, sending an unsubtle amount of white confetti raining down on the whole room.

“It’s been a while since our last competition, so I thought we could have a little fun bringing it back! I’m sure most of you also missed the little reward that followed on December first.” she added with a wink.

The room was filled with cheeky grins and chuckles, though a few pairs of eyes looked down at the floor in disappointment.

“Now, before the month actually starts, I think it’d be a good time to get familiar with the ones you will hopefully be sharing victory with. That’s why I brought you all together here, after all. Wouldn’t hurt to start planning ahead of time!”

Eager chatter lit up in the crowd as everyone started looking around and eyeing each other up. Shining Armor gave his wife Cadence a playfully possessive hug, Soarin’ gazed at the mares with hungry eyes, Ocellus’s wings buzzed with excitement.

“Now hold on a bit, princess.” A cat’s paw raised up high in the air, drawing the attention over to him. “I got the basic gist of it through the letter you sent me, but I’m afraid that the details have eluded me. The name of the game is pretty obvious, but I doubt it’s as simple as that.”

“Well, Capper, the whole goal of No Clop November is to, obviously, not clop during the entirety of November,” Twilight began to explain. “Edging is fine, but you’re not allowed to purposefully and consciously bring yourself to an orgasm at any point during the month.”

“Purposefully? You saying that ponies just shoot off by complete accident or something?”

“Well, wet dreams tend to happen when you get pent up for a week or two, but as long as you don’t consciously orgasm during the entire month, you get to join the other winners for some celebratory sex at midnight on December 1st.”

“Uh-huh...and what’s to stop us from, say, enjoying some self-indulgence in secret, then just saying that we didn’t?” Capper said with a sly smirk on his face. “...Hypothetically speaking, of course.”

Twilight responded with a smug grin of her own. “Oh don’t worry about that, we have ways to keep track of who is and isn’t still in. There won’t be any cheating.”

“Ooh, yeah, about that!” Silverstream piped up, frantically waving her hand in the air. “What exactly are we gonna do to handle how we know who’s still in for this year? Are we going back to the cum jar thing, or Miss Cheerilee’s chalkboard, or-”

“Do not worry yourselves over that!” A booming voice echoed through the room, turning heads in all directions. “Let that matter fall to...The Great and Powerful Trrrixie!” On her own cue, the magician burst through the door in a cloud of smoke, riding atop a cart covered with a blanket.

“Trixie had an idea on how to handle eliminations this year, and I have to admit, it’s a pretty good method,” Twilight nodded. “and hopefully a very motivating one, too.”

Trixie yanked off the sheet with an exaggerated flourish of her hooves, revealing thirty uniquely color-coded firework rockets.

“Ooh! What do they do?” Silverstream hovered over the cart, trying to find the one that was supposedly designated for her.

“And uh, how exactly is that going to keep score?” Gallus asked, poking the blue, golden-tipped one with his claw.

“Care to find out for yourself?” Trixie challenged, raising an eyebrow with a smug grin on her face.

“Well, there’s not much time left until November officially starts, so why don’t you all take the time to get to know each other a little better?” Twilight suggested. “Good luck, everyone!”

Once Twilight hopped off the stage, the room was filled with chatter.

Zecora approached a brown pegasus she had spotted from across the room. “Miss Daring Do, I’ve enjoyed all your books, but I didn’t think the real deal had such shocking good looks.”

“Ahah, shocking good looks, huh?” the pegasus blushed from the sudden, forward advances of the zebra. “Never met a zebra that introduced herself by flirting with me before. What can I do for you?”

“My name is Zecora, and it’s quite nice to see, someone else with an interest in the ancient like me,” she said with a formal bow. “There is a small favor that I’d like to ask, I believe only you could be up for the task.”

“Something only I could do, huh? Sounds to me like you’re asking for something dangerous then...” Daring smirked, tilting her pith helmet down to partially obscure her eyes.

“To make sure that you’re not on the fence, I promise you won’t be without recompense.”

Gallus looked around the room, muttering to himself. “Let’s see...twelve, thirteen, fourteen…”

Sandbar noticed Gallus pointing his talon at the various mares that surrounded them. “Whatcha doing, Gallus? Eyeing up someone you’re interested in?”

Gallus absentmindedly nodded along. “Something like that, yeah…”

Sandbar tried tracking Gallus’s line of sight to figure out who he had his eyes on. “You making goo-goo eyes at Professor Applejack again?” he joked, elbowing him in the ribs.

“W-What do you mean ‘again’?” Gallus sputtered out, his cheeks blushing in feverish denial.

“Heh, well good luck to y-hhuuuuwah!” Sandbar was suddenly lifted off the floor, his lungs in danger of being crushed by a hug from behind, courtesy of Yona.

“This year gonna be great! Yona will win, just like last times!”

“Y-Yeah...I’m...sure you will...Yona! Gghhk!” Sandbar grunted, his voice clearly strained as his hooves helplessly kicked in the air.

“Sandbar better win with Yona too!” Yona turned Sandbar around so that he was facing her before giving him another air-squeezing hug. “Yona wants to have lots of fun with Sandbar in December!”

“Can’t...wait…!”

“Yeah, good luck to you too, buddy,” Gallus snarked back.

Sunburst and Starlight walked around the cart of fireworks Trixie rode in on, trying to find the ones that were designated for themselves. “So, these were all Trixie’s idea, huh?”

“Looks like. I’m pretty sure Twilight helped her a little bit with magically linking them to the competition, but I think Trix did most of the work.” Starlight said, peering over his shoulder.

“You didn’t help her out at all?”

“Well it was like, the middle of September when we were hanging out. I brought up the fact that November was coming up soon. Then she gasped, started screaming ‘IDEA IDEA IDEA IDEA IDEA’ and ran off,” Starlight chuckled. “Guess she wanted to keep it a secret.”

“You guys curious about the fireworks too?”

The two unicorns turned around to meet a third one. “Oh, hey Sunset! How’ve you been?” Starlight asked.

“Eh, same old stuff. I’m getting used to switching between two legs and four legs though. Takes less time to adjust whenever I go through the portal, so that’s nice.”

Sunburst let out an impressed, low whistle. “I can’t imagine getting used to that…”

Sunset wrapped her hoof around Sunburst’s shoulder. “Oh, I should totally take you through sometime! There’s a lot of weird artifacts and stuff that I know you’d geek out over! Hell, it might even take your mind off being so pent up!”

“Ahaaah...m-maybe next time.” Sunburst laughed nervously. The idea of a new world was enticing, but needing to learn how to walk again? Not so much.

The unicorns looked at the cart of fireworks, their heads tilted slightly askew in curiosity.

“What do you think Twilight meant by them being motivating?” Sunburst pondered out loud.

“I can think of a few ideas…” Starlight said with a wince.

Sunset nodded. “And I’m hoping I’m not the one that sets the example for everyone else...”

Princess Celestia and Princess Luna remained at their table, coy smiles on their faces as they watched all the others around them chatting and planning. “So, any ideas for this year, Luna?”

“Nothing aside from the usual, sister. Why? Did you think of something?”

Celestia glanced over to her old student laughing with her friends. “You could say that…”

The sound of heavy hoofsteps interrupted her train of thought. The sisters turned to see a stallion just as large as them approaching.

“Uh...hi there, princesses. It’s nice to meet y’all here,” the stallion said, doing an awkward bow.

“You must be Troubleshoes,” Celestia smiled, waving her hoof. “It’s quite nice to meet you, too.”

Troubleshoes awkwardly looked around at nothing in particular, afraid to look either princess in the eyes. “I didn’t really expect to see all sorts of royalty participating in this kind of thing, it’s mighty humbling just to be surrounded by all of them, kinda makes me feel like I don’t belong here...”

“There’s no need to be worried, Troubleshoes. We’re all here for the same reason as you: to have a good time with a friendly competition.”

“Indeed,” Luna chimed in. “Our status means very little in this competition, especially during the celebration at the end.”

“Is that the reason you wanted to speak to us? Perhaps you wanted to see if one of us could handle a stallion as large as you?” Celestia fluttered her eyelashes as leaned forward on the table. “A rather forward approach, but not an unwelcome one, I have to say…”

“Aaah...er, that’s! I...uh...w-what I meant was…” The stallion’s face instantly started to burn red as he stuttered and stumbled on his words, trying to piece together an explanation.

Celestia quickly burst out into a giggling fit upon seeing how flustered she made him. “Relax, I’m only teasing! Still, I sincerely hope to see you make it to the end of the month.”

“U-Uh, yeah, you too!” Troubleshoes managed to spit out. “I-It was a pleasure meeting you two, but I’ll leave y’all to your conversation…” he chuckled nervously.

As Troubleshoes walked away, Luna turned to her sister and shook her head with a smirk on her face as she nudged her with her elbow. “You’re so cruel, Tia…”

When Troubleshoes managed to collect his thoughts, his face lit up with hope. “Heh, maybe my luck’s finally turning around!” The instant the sentence left his lips, his hooves got wrapped up in one of the tablecloths, sending him tumbling into one of the pegasi.

“...Shoulda saw that comin’,” he muttered to himself as he stood up, helping the other stallion to his hooves. “Sorry ‘bout that.”

“Aw, don’t worry about it,” Soarin’ said, dusting himself off. “I’ve been through crashes worse than that.”

As he stretched out his wings to check if they were still good to fly, a kirin rushed up to him. “Oh my gosh, are you alright?!”

“Yeah, I’m good, pretty sure nothing got broken at least,” he joked. “I don’t think we’ve ever met before, so...I’m Soarin’.” He extended his hoof out.

The kirin shook his hoof with what might have been a little too much eagerness. “I’m Autumn Blaze, so is this like, your first time doing one of these?”

“Nah, Princess Twilight invited me to do one a few years ago. It was fun, but life as a Wonderbolt can get kinda stressful, ya know?”

“Oh totally! You get so pent up that sometimes you feel like you’re gonna explode and it drives you absolutely crazy! And then you just wanna do it right there but you think about how you’re gonna miss out on the orgy at the end and you just baaaarely stop yourself but you can’t stop thinking about it anymore. I’ve SO been there before. Though this is only like, my second time participating in a No Clop November, so I don’t wanna say I’m like an expert at it or anything.”

Soarin’ let out a short nervous laugh, taken back by just how much this kirin could talk. “Seems like we’re both still pretty new to this, huh?”

“Yeah…” Autumn gasped with excitement. “But maybe we could stick together and help keep the other one from getting too horny! Cause like I’m preeeetty good at keeping my cool but sometimes I just go ‘Auuuugh I wanna be ridden like right now’, and I gotta think of something else to get my mind off it, but that sometimes that leads to me getting horny all over again and I just go crazy!“

“Uh...You sure that wouldn’t just tempt us more into just giving in early?”

“...Shoot, you’re probably right. Hm…hold on, lemmie think of another idea...”

The dragons and the changelings shared a table. The leaders, Ember and Thorax sat next to each other, with their students Smolder and Ocellus at their respective sides.

Smolder climbed up onto the table, pumping her fist into the air. “Aw yeah, I’m so ready for this!”

“Wow, you already have a plan for the month, Smolder?” Ember asked.

“Oh, I don’t need to plan for that,” Smolder scoffed, dismissing Ember with a wave of her claw. “I’m planning on what I’m doing for the orgy at the end!”

Ocellus raised a curious eyebrow. “You seem rather confident that you’re gonna make it...”

Smolder half-heartedly shrugged. “Why wouldn’t I be? This is gonna be soooo easy!”

“Heh, you’re not worried, are you, Ocellus?” Thorax grinned, looking down at her.

“Of course not. We changelings are gonna do this easy!” She gave a quick side-eye to Ember and Smolder. “Dragons, on the other hoof…”

“Hey!” Smolder stomped across the table to stare Ocellus down. “I know that I’ll be way better than you this year!“

“Oh yeah?” Ocellus pressed her hooves against the table to lift herself up, meeting the dragon at eye-level.

Thorax let out a somewhat nervous chuckle at the rising tension, shaking his head. “I don’t think there’s really a way to measure that-”

Ember put her claw up. “Hold on, Thorax, I wanna see where this goes...”

“Since we’re both so confident that we’re gonna make it, why don’t we do it during the orgy at the end?” Smolder crossed her arms.

“...I’m listening.”

“Well the rules are gonna be simple, whoever makes the other cum more times is the winner.”

“And the prize?”

“Loser has to do anything the winner says for the rest of December!” Smolder grinned. “And I mean anything.”

“Deal, you’re on!” Ocellus stuck out her hoof, which Smolder shook with a fierce vigor.

Ember smirked as she rested her elbow on Thorax’s shoulder. “Oh this is gonna be fun…”

Cadence observed from a table in the corner of the room, watching all the others excitedly planning the month with each other. All the hugs and coy looks they were giving made her shiver. Her hooves trembled against the table, the tips of her wings twitched, shaking a few feathers loose.

Shining put a hoof on his wife’s, hugging her with the other. “Breathe, hon, you’ll be fine.”

Cadence closed her eyes and took a couple deep breaths in order to recollect herself. “Okay...I’m good. Thank you, dear.”

Cheerilee approached the couple at the table. “Oh hey! It’s great to see you two here! So, it looks like you’re the only married couple in this competition, huh?”

“Looks like, yeah…” Shining nodded.

“You know, I was always curious, is it awkward knowing that if one wins and the other one doesn’t, they’ll be having sex with a bunch of other ponies and such? Doesn’t it make you a little bit jealous?“

Shining shook his head. “Naw, we both know it’s part of the competition.”

“We’re totally fine with what happens during the month.” Cadence put her head on Shining’s shoulder. “So long as Shining is still mine at the end of the day.”

“Aw, that’s so sweet! Well, good luck to you both!”

“Oh, I’ll be fine. Cady on the other hoof…”

Cadence gave her husband a quick elbow to his ribs. “You’re one to talk, Mr. Chastity Shield!”

Shining playfully stuck his tongue out. “You’re just jealous that it works.”

Cadence leaned on the table, resting her chin on her hoof. “Mmhm, why don’t you tell Cheerilee about all the failed attempts?”

“Oh, I think one of my friends told me about the train incident…” Cheerilee took a seat next to Cadence, copying her smug pose. “I wonder if it was all true the way she described it.”

“H-Hey, it didn’t fail, it just had a...slight malfunction, that’s all!”

As Twilight and Spike joined their best friends at their own table, Rainbow Dash backflipped into the air. “Aw yeah, this is my year, I can feel it!”

“You say that every year, Dashie!” Pinkie giggled.

“S-So? I really mean it this time!” Dash grumbled, crossing her hooves.

“I wish that the timing were a little bit better for me, though. I’m taking on several commissions at once, and I’d love the stress relief,” Rarity lamented, before quickly straightening herself up. “Not that I intend on losing, of course.”

Applejack chuckled, putting her hind hooves up on the table. “Heh, Ah’m glad cider season’s comin’ to an end. Gonna be a smooth and stressless November for me.”

“Great, some of us here still have to work year-round no matter what, ya know.” Rainbow grumbled, forcibly pulling the brim of Applejack’s hat over her eyes.

Pinkie leaped into Fluttershy’s hooves, knowing that she’d instantly scramble to catch her. “Soooo, Fluttershy, who are you planning on getting laid with?”

Fluttershy’s cheeks instantly burned red with blush. “Oh gosh, I haven’t even thought of that yet!”

“Oh, excellent point, Pinkie Pie!” Rarity looked around the room. “So many options to choose from…”

Spike gave Rainbow a sarcastic, teasing grin. “So, Dash, what’s your winning strategy this year?”

“Dunno. I was planning on dropping by Quibble’s to hear him nitpick things I like until I was too angry to think properly, but he said gonna be busy trying to teach Wind Sprint more stuff about buckball.” she let out a dejected sigh. “So I guess I’m just winging it this year.”

“You sure that isn’t gonna be dangerous for you?” Applejack snorted.

Dash shrugged. “Eh, I’m sure I’ll do fine.”

Pinkie and Fluttershy exchanged knowing looks, trying to stifle their giggling.

“So, what made ya wanna start doing this again, Twi?” Applejack asked. “Ya miss the exciting challenge?”

“There’s a lot of good memories to be made, Applejack. It’s nice to see everyone enjoying each other’s company, making connections they might not have made before,” Twilight explained. “...That and the reward at the end is a lot of fun, too,” she sheepishly added.

“Well, now ya just gotta last long enough to see it,” Applejack laughed.

“Yeah...This is gonna be a long month…”

Author's Note

And here...we...go.