Fallout: Equestria - Refuge

Fallout Equestria: Refuge
By AgentGei
Chapter 6: Anathema
"Being on a fence won't change anything. You have to pick a side, now!"

"Let's just get out of here, please…"

Dart looked at me with worry in his eyes, but he nodded in agreement. He wrapped his hoof around my shoulder and steered me away from the bunker, back to the barren wasteland. I didn’t bother to look around, I just followed his lead, feeling numb and drained. Dart didn’t say anything, he just stayed by my side, giving me the comfort of his company.

We walked for a while until we reached a safe distance from the bunker, where no one could find us. We stumbled upon an old wooden shack by the road that Dart thought would be a good spot to rest for a bit.

It was a shabby place, with only one room that had a bed, a kitchen and a couch. The place had been looted long ago, so there was nothing useful to scavenge. There was dust everywhere, covering the broken furniture, showing how long this place had been abandoned. I didn’t care about any of that, I just headed straight for the bed and collapsed on it. I was too tired to care about dirt.

I let myself sink into the mattress and tried to relax. I breathed deeply, trying to slow down my racing heart while digging my hooves onto the filthy mattress to stimulate my senses. Across the room, I saw Dart levitate a chair and wedge it under the doorknob to lock it. He then cleared some space on the table to put our stuff on it.

After he was done, he looked at me and asked softly, “What happened back there? Are you okay?”

I closed my eyes for a moment, trying to sort out my thoughts. It was hard to put into words the turmoil of emotions and the inner conflict that had taken over me, let alone share them with somepony else. Being in a quiet, secluded place helped me calm down a bit, but I still needed to find the right way to say it.

“I… I don’t know, Dart,” I said weakly. “All this stuff about the Loyalists, their plans and seeing old faces… It’s brought up so much crap and feelings that I don’t know how to handle.”

Dart came closer, his face full of sympathy. “I’m sorry, especially after everything you’ve been through so far.” I looked up at Dart’s citrine eyes, which reminded me so much of Dancer’s. It was a bitter-sweet feeling, but it also helped me calm down and stop trembling.

He broke the silence with his voice, tone curious. “And what did Silver want from you?”

I hesitated for a moment, wondering how much I should tell him. Dart had been with me through thick and thin, and I didn’t want to drag him into this dangerous game of Enclave politics. However, he was already involved since he went into the bunker with me and (somehow) survived. But more importantly, its a must to trust Dart in shit like this and of course, he deserved the truth.

Taking a deep breath, I started to explain. “He wants me to join their operation. They’re planning something big called ‘Operation: Euthanize’. It’s about taking back the surface— I mean, Wasteland, but…” My voice trailed off as I struggled to find the right words.

“But what?” Dart urged me on, his eyes fixed on mine.

“They want to wipe out the… non-Enclave kind, Dart,” I said quietly. “They say it’s the only way to cleanse the world.”

Dart’s expression hardened. “That’s… that’s insane, Dusk.” He then reached out to my hoof and said earnestly “Please tell me you’re not part of something like that.”

“What?”

“You know what I’m talking about,” His gaze narrowed suspiciously. “The way you talk with Zephyr, Silver… you still believe in the Enclave, don’t you?”

Okay, I don’t like where this is going.

“You can’t be serious,” My tone dropped dangerously low, flinching away from his touch. “That has nothing to do with their operation.”

“Yes, it does!” Dart shouted in my face, his anger boiling over. “You said it yourself that you still believed in the Enclave, after all these years! Why, Dusk? Give me one good reason!”

I felt my face contort, sensing my old self resurfacing. “I grew up with those ponies, Dart. I respected them. I honored them. Hell, I served with them!” I felt my hooves shake. “Not only that, but I grew up learning about the Enclave! I studied, I trained, fuck, I even argued that Thunderhead and Neighvarro shouldn’t be separate divisions back then! Swift still remembers that!”

I stared at Dart, hoping to see some sign of understanding in his face, but he looked unfazed. “You have no fucking clue what it’s like to live in this fucking Wasteland after losing everything." I continued, my voice cracking. “To have nothing to hold on to, nothing to fight for, nothing to make you feel alive.”

Dart met my gaze with a hard one of his own. “Don’t give me that brahmin shit, Dusk,” he said. "Everypony in this Wasteland has lost something, and it’s damn normal at this point.” He took a step closer to me, “I know you have a history with the Enclave, and I respect that. But you’re so blinded by your past that you can’t see the reality of what the Enclave has become, has done. It’s not the same Enclave you grew up with.”

I felt a surge of anger and pain, mixed with a strange longing. How could I explain to him the inner conflict that had been tearing me apart ever since the Enclave is officially gone? The loyalty and pride that still lingered in my heart, despite everything.

“You don’t understand,” I whispered. “I tried turning against the Enclave for Glory, for…” I shuddered, unable to finish what I was implying. “But now, seeing Swift and the Loyalists, hearing about their plans… a part of me still yearns for that sense of purpose. To… redeem myself.”

Dart's expression softened slightly. “I’m not judging you for how you feel, but you need to face reality. The Enclave’s vision is twisted by hate and fanaticism. They’re willing to sacrifice innocent lives for their delusion of ‘cleansing’ the world. Is that what you really want?”

“Easy for you to say,” I snapped, “You’re just a damn surfacer.”

He flinched, as if I had slapped him. “Well, this damn surfacer you’re talking to,” he said, his voice low and tense, “also grew up in the Enclave for most of his life, and even had his pegasus family members serve them loyally.” He sighed and shook his head slightly. “She wouldn’t have abandoned us and missed Mom’s last moments if she wasn’t so loyal to the fucking Enclave.”

I’d had enough. I spread my wings and flew at him, grabbing his neck with my right foreleg. The dining table with our supplies toppled over as I pushed him against the wall behind him. He let out a choked gasp and his citrine eyes widened in shock.

“Don’t you dare bring Dancer into this!” I screamed in his face. My heart was pounding, and the air was thick with tension as I pinned him to the wall. I couldn’t hold back any longer; it was like a dam had burst inside me. “If you hadn’t left her alone in Thunderhead for your selfish reasons to live on this fucking surface, she would still be alive!”

… what am I talking about?

“You can’t say shit about abandonment if you yourself left her!” I felt a pressure in my chest that threatened to crush me; my grip on him tightened.

But then, I saw something in his eyes that pierced through my anger; a flash of hurt and guilt; and I let go of him, letting him fall to the ground.

I backed away, my wings and foreleg shaking. What had I done? Dart had been willing to open up, to leave Sanctuary for me, to understand me, to watch my back… and now I had let my anger get the best of me.

Dart coughed and slowly got up, his expression still reflecting the pain of my outburst, "I…" He mouthed out weakly while rubbing his throat. "... get it. I'm sorry…"

I glanced away from him, feeling my mind start to clear up from the argument. I started to understand why Dart assumed that I was gonna be a part of the operation, as he listened and took note of my body language around the Loyalists. Not wanting to go on with this conversation any further, I spoke. “Swift also believes that…” I took a deep breath. “That operation is the only way to fulfill the Enclave’s vision. He wants me to join them, to convince my family to join too.”

Dart lowered his head in disbelief, still sitting on the ground. “You can’t do that…” The stallion’s eyes pleaded with me. “Please. Please tell me you won’t fucking betray your family and everything they’ve built in New Thunderhead.”

As I looked at Dart, his words cut through the lingering anger and frustration. He wasn’t just concerned about my loyalty to the Enclave but also about the potential consequences for my family, knowing that Father was well against this, but for others like Moonshadow…

I then felt a heavy weight in my chest as I considered the implications of Swift’s request. It was true that my family had been instrumental in the foundation of New Thunderhead, and they had worked tirelessly to create a safe and prosperous community for pegasi in the Wasteland. Turning my back on that legacy to join the Loyalists would be a betrayal of everything they stood for.

Think about them for once, Dusk.

Taking a deep breath, I approached Dart slowly. “I don’t want to betray my family or everything they’ve built,” I said softly. Dart slowly stood up on his hooves, his figure slightly towering over me.

His expression softened. “What about me? And what about Crumpets and the rest of the Wasteland?”

That… I hadn’t considered before. If that was the case, it was most likely that I would have to turn my back against my old friends for the sake of ponies who I cared about a lot… wait, I also cared for the Loyalists.

Fuck, it was getting way more complicated, and it was unfair for me to think that way especially when their plans were literally to kill everypony who was against the Loyalists, trying their best to damn survive.

Relax, Dusk. Just relax…

Trying to understand what Dart meant, I just answered bluntly. “Of course I give a shit about you and Crumpets, why would you assume that I don’t?”

Dart’s eyes went somber. “Because knowing you… you’re not gonna let this loyalty stuff about the Enclave slide.”

Of course.

“Listen, Dart…” I raised my hoof to press my temple. “As much as you want to, I don’t know, fucking criticize me for this, do you want to know more about the operation or not?”

Well, that shut him up.

The stallion cursed under his breath. “That damn bastard… no, these damn bastards. I knew those fuckers had something up their sleeves…” He ruffled his mane with his hooves, trying to keep his cool. “Is that all he told you about their plans, Dusk?”

I frowned, thinking hard. Then I shrugged. “That’s all there is. I don’t think thats all the details Swift gave me, since I didn’t explicitly say I'll join them.” I looked down at my worn hooves. “But even then, it’s pretty clear what that Operation is about.”

Now that Dart knew about Operation Euthanize, and he is obviously horrified. “Oh Goddess above…” He glanced at the door, and his eyes widened as if he realized something. “They’re back… they’re actually back.” He looked back at me, his face troubled. “Do you know what this means, Dusk?”

I shook my head dumbly, not sure what he meant. Dart seemed to understand and continued. “Everything that everypony has worked for in the Hoof, Commonwealth, trying to rebuild this shit after the fiasco in this damn wasteland… all of it would be gone because of the selfish crusade that the Loyalists are blindly following with their outdated beliefs!” He rubbed his face in frustration. “Everypony in Sanctuary… no, no, no… they’ll be gone…”

As my mind slowly started to function properly again, I began to understand Dart’s distress. The place he had called home for over a decade was threatened by the ponies he had despised the most and ran away from. And they wouldn’t just bite him, they would load their plasma and laser weapons then melt his life away—

My thoughts were interrupted by Dart’s hoof shaking my shoulder. “Uh, sorry… zoning out.” I blinked rapidly and stammered, hoping I didn’t look like an idiot in front of Dart. He still looked incredulous and said, “I asked, aren’t you going to tell everything to the Applejack Rangers about this whole ordeal? I mean, if I remember correctly, the Steel Rangers hated the Enclave a lot.”

I couldn’t disagree with that. We had been taught that there was a faction of surfacers who hunted for pre-war technology back in my training years. Goddesses, I felt incredibly stupid to constantly think and remember the damn Enclave after suppressing it for years. Fuck, why was I having trouble telling all this to Crumpets? Is it because of loyalty? Maybe? I wasn’t sure.

I fumbled with my Pip-Buck, scrolling through the static-filled broadcasts with a sense of urgency. For some reason, I noticed there wasn’t any broadcast from the Loyalists among the other encrypted ones. I looked up at Dart, who was sitting on a stool and waiting for me to do something. I took a deep breath before recording a message to the right broadcast.

“Hey Crumpets, I know I just updated you last night but I have some important information to share. There’s a new threat in the Commonwealth that involves…” I hesitated, wondering if the Loyalists had cracked the encryption somehow. I decided to be vague, just in case. “… endangering a lot of ponies’ lives. We need to talk as soon as I get to the Stable face to face, it’s urgent.”

After sending that message and turning off the broadcaster, I noticed Dart had a puzzled look on his face. “Why not just tell them about the Loyalists in that message?”

“Don’t you remember?” I asked, lowering my voice to a whisper. I glanced around nervously, as if expecting a Loyalist to burst in any second. “The Loyalists could have access to the encrypted broadcasts. I don’t want to risk getting…" I took a deep breath, couldn't believe that I'm going to say this, "... hunted down.”

“Crap, you’re right.” Dart turned serious. “Whether they know or not… we going to hide here for now, since you're like, on our side?”

“Whose side?” I repeated, feeling a pang of guilt. “I don’t know, Dart. I don’t know if I want to take sides at all.”

He looked away from me, nodding slightly. “I get it. You don’t want to get involved in this mess. But you know what? The Lightbringer and Security would definitely be on our side. They would stand up for what’s right.”

“But I’m not them, Dart.” I snapped, feeling annoyed. “I’m not some hero or some savior. I’m not going to pretend that I have this duty to help everypony whenever I can.”

He gave me a hard look. “Don’t you care at all? Don’t you see how wrong this is? The Loyalists want to wipe out an entire population of ponies in the Commonwealth! Hell, they could take over entire Equestria if they want to repeat the mistakes of our ancestors!” He choked up, tears threatening to spill over. “How can you be so indifferent after everything we’ve seen?”

I bit my lip, feeling torn. Part of me wanted to stop them, to stop my former comrades from doing something terrible. Part of me wanted to help the Commonwealth, to help the ponies who had welcomed me and trusted me. But another part of me wanted to stay out of it, to avoid getting involved in something that could get me killed or worse. To just live my life in peace.

We fell silent, neither of us knowing what else to say. Should I stay stuck on the fence? Anxiety wrapped around me like a suffocating blanket, silencing me, until Dart spoke up again. “What do you think…” He paused a bit, “… you know, if Dancer’s around?”

Fuck.

“I…” I started, trying to think without having to fight for my life internally. “I honestly don't know what she would say about this. But,” I sighed, “I can say that she’ll be in the Commonwealth’s favor.”

He looked shocked, his mouth hanging open slightly. “What? How can you say that?”

I looked away from him, feeling a surge of anger and sadness. “You don’t know her like I do, Dart. You don’t know what she went through, what she believed in.” I answered bitterly, remembering her words and her actions.

“What did she go through?” He asked softly, his voice full of curiosity and concern.

I shook my head, not wanting to talk about it. Not wanting to relive it.

“It doesn’t matter.” I said curtly, cutting him off.

He nodded slowly, sensing my reluctance.

“Okay.” He spoke quietly.

We didn’t speak for a while after that.

We sat in silence, both of us lost in our thoughts. Then Dart looked at me again, his eyes curious.

“Hey, Dusk. Do you have any idea what kind of weapon the Loyalists are after? Could it be a balefire bomb?”

I shrugged, feeling clueless. “Why do you ask?”

He sighed, his expression grim. “Well, it’s the first thing that pops into my head when I think of something that can wipe out a bunch of ponies. Or worse.” He added, shuddering.

I rubbed my chin with my hoof, trying to remember what Swift had said. “Swift mentioned something about Dad canceling a project that had something to do with it. And that reminded me of something…” I trailed off, feeling a jolt of recognition. Dart and I exchanged a look of understanding.

“Sky Striker… damn it, Dusk, maybe you should talk to your dad about this.” Dart suggested, glancing at his Pip-Buck. “New Thunderhead isn’t that far from Stable 99… but it’s up to you.”

I bit my lip, feeling conflicted. On one hoof, I wanted to talk to my family, to see if they knew anything about this mess. On the other hoof, I wanted to get to the Stable as soon as possible, to warn Crumpets and the others. “Well, our main goal is still the Stable, but maybe we can make a detour to New Thunderhead for Dad and Moonshadow.” I mumbled, feeling torn. I thought about Swift and the other Loyalists, how they were willing to use a weapon against the surfacers. I felt a headache coming on. “Can we just wait until tomorrow morning to decide?”

Dart nodded sympathetically, noticing me rubbing my temples. “Sure thing.” He looked at the table, where our supplies were neatly stacked. “But if we stay here until tomorrow, we might run out of stuff.”

“Then we’ll have to scavenge.” I said, taking off my energy rifle and saddle and placing them next to the bed. I checked my Pip-Buck’s map, looking for potential scavenging spots. A blob of pixels that looked like a town caught my eye. “There’s a town nearby, northeast of here. On our way to the city.”

Dart hummed in agreement, also checking his Pip-Buck. “Looks like a ruined town… but it might have something useful.”

We agreed to rest for the day, taking turns sleeping on the bed since we didn’t feel comfortable sharing it. The shack wasn’t exactly cozy, but it was safe and sheltered. Even though it was still morning, we were both exhausted.

I looked at the time on my Pip-Buck, 13:36, and opened a can of cram with Dart’s butterfly knife while he lay on the bed. The knife was surprisingly sharp, slicing through the rusty metal lid with ease. Huh, Dart must have taken good care of it as the blade is designed for unicorns. I used my wings gripping the handle to pry open the lid, revealing the greenish-orange mush inside. Dart started a conversation, his voice casual.

“So… what are your Enclave friends like?”

I paused, thinking about how to answer him, then relaxed my wing grip on the knife. “They’re loyal and respectable ponies, you know. The usual.”

Dart narrowed his eyes slightly. “Loyal? You mean loyal to the Enclave or to something else?”

I looked away from him. “Obviously loyal to the Enclave and their cause.” I said, focusing on opening the can. I thought he would drop it there, but he spoke again, his voice softer this time.

“Is there no other way?”

“Way?” I asked, confused.

He hesitated for a moment before explaining. “I mean… do you think there’s any chance of talking to them? Of convincing them not to do this?”

I snorted, bending back the lid and exposing the cram completely. “No.” I looked at him, my face serious. “They’re not like Thunderhead ponies, Dart. They’re not the… diplomatic kind.” I said bitterly.

He looked sad and nodded slowly before turning over to face the wall.

We didn’t talk much after that.

And holy crap did radiated food taste like shit.

Plummeting toward the Wasteland while my temples throbbed was never a pleasant experience.

Luckily enough, there weren’t many Enclave forces below unlike above where my orange jumpsuit made me an easy target. If only I had the time to take off the damn thing, then I wouldn’t get hunted down in every space I flew through.

No, forget that. I just had to focus on reaching that hospital (or… college?) where Father and Dancer were supposed to be.

Then, a sharp pain stabbed my skull. Crap, just as I started to see the surface amid the blur at the edges of my vision like my body was begging me to fall to my death.

Despite the pain in my head, I continued my descent. Peaceful silence surrounded me, but I couldn’t shake off the feeling that Enclave forces were on my tail.

Finally, with a sense of relief, I touched down on the roof clumsily. I hit the roof with a thud, rolling over to break my fall. Pain shot through my body, but I ignored it. I had no time to waste.

I stumbled to regain my balance and quickly scanned the area.

Clear. Good.

Wasting no time, I made my way to the roof’s access door and descended the stairs, remembering the floor Glory told me where Father and Dancer were located racing through my mind. Each step felt like a struggle, but the urgency of my mission pushed me.

As I reached the floor, I cautiously peered around the corner, looking for any sign of Father and Dancer. The distant humming sounds still lingered in the back of my mind, and even distant ponies talking and muttering under their breaths as they caught their eyes on me.

Then, I spotted a familiar dark silhouette sitting by a bench beside the closed door.

The power-armored silhouette looked up at me and tensed up.

“Dancer!” I gasped.

She jumped up from the bench and pushed a button on by the neck, retracting her helmet. A yellow-coated mare with a brilliant orange mane popped out, her citrine eyes wide.

“Dusk?” she asked in disbelief. “What are you—”

I reached her and placed both of my hooves on her cheeks, cutting her off. “No time to explain,” I said, then winced as a faint sting of pain ached in my head. “The Ops are coming here to get Father. I don’t know what they’ll do to him, but I don’t want to find out if they’ll kill him or…” I hissed through my teeth. “I need you to help me get Father to the Star… what the hell does Morning call it… Star- Star…”

"Thar Houth?" Dancer mumbled, and I quickly moved my hooves down to her shoulders to loosen her jaw. She repeated, but with more concern this time as she saw me suffering. “The Star House?”

“Yes, that.” I glanced back at the hallway, and heard loud noises and commotion getting closer. I looked back at Dancer. “Listen, it’s been… a fucking while and now I’m a fugitive—”

“I heard,” she interrupted me softly, then pushed another button on her intercom. A voice blared out of the speaker. “All Enclave forces, be on high alert!" the voice boomed. "The fugitives from the Striker family, alongside Morning Glory, Moonshadow, and Dusk, are considered conspirators in a terrorist plot. If you spot any of these escapees, apprehend them immediately—" Dancer swiftly cut off the recording with another push of the button.

Shit.

She turned back to me, with an unreadable expression on her face. I tried to defend myself. “I know it’s hypocritical of me to join Glory and her friends,” I let out a shaky sigh. “But there’s so much going on that makes me… have to help them, to help Thunderhead.”

Then the voices down the hallway grew louder until Dancer’s intercom crackled again. "Lightning Dancer, we have arrived at the coordinates you sent to retrieve Councilstallion Sky Striker. Please stand by."

We exchanged anxious glances, then we both looked back at the hallway where bulky shadows were closing in. The medical ponies didn’t bother to protest or say anything unlike when I arrived earlier. They were scared as hell.

Dancer gave me a softened look and her scorpion tail opened the door behind her. “Your dad’s in there. Try to disconnect the wires and hide.” She said quickly before shoving me into the room and slamming the door shut.

I was shocked by what just happened. Was Dancer mad at me for betraying her?

No, Dusk. Remember why you’re here!

I shook my head and looked around the dark room. The cold air was filled with a sterile, metallic scent that only added to the unsettling atmosphere. A cylindrical stasis pod stood in the dimly lit room, bathed in a faint, eerie glow. My eyes fixated on the contraption that held Father.

Inside, an older stallion with a plum-colored coat lay motionless. His features, though weary, were still recognizable. I couldn’t help but notice the wear and tear etched into his face. Wires and tubes snaked across his body, connecting to various points. Some were attached to his forelegs, others to his chest, and a web of them seemed to merge at the base of his neck.

I didn’t waste any more time. I looked for any controls, a way to free him from the pod, and found a panel on the side. With shaky hooves, I went over to it and saw a bunch of buttons that I had no clue how to use. Glory never told me how to mess with this thing.

Then, a sharp pain shot through my head, making me stumble against the panel and bite my tongue to keep from screaming. I heard noises from outside the door.

Crap, did the Ops find Dancer?

The noises got louder, like they were yelling. Then, I heard the blasts of energy weapons. My heart sank, realizing there was a gunfight out there. I looked back at the panel, trying to guess which buttons to press without screwing everything up.

Suddenly, the door opened and a power-armored pegasus came in. The armor was smoking and scratched from the fight. The helmet retracted, revealing Dancer’s grim face. She closed the door quickly. I noticed her beam rifle was still hot.

She saw me standing by the panel and then looked at the stasis pod. “Shit,” she muttered and trotted over to me. “I’ll handle the disconnection.”

I swallowed up the knot feeling in my throat.

The next day, we left the shack behind, along with our trash. It was not like anypony else was going to use that place anyway.

The sun was blazing in the clear sky, and the air felt like a thick soup. As Dart had predicted, our supplies were running dangerously low. We wouldn’t last another day in the wasteland without finding more water and food. We had agreed to search the nearby pre-war town that we had spotted on the map yesterday.

I let Dart take the lead, while I watched our backs. He mostly used his pistol to kill off the stray small radscorpions and bloatsprites that exploded when you shot them in the right spot. He was showing off his gunslinger skills for a medical pony, I guess.

The town was closer than we had expected, but it was also more decayed. Only a few buildings were still standing, and they looked empty and abandoned. I checked my Pip-Buck and saw that the town was called Saddleton. The geiger counter was slightly above zero, but not enough to make me worry.

Dart tapped my shoulder and whispered, “We got company.” I followed him to a pile of rubble across the street, and asked him what he meant. “There are ponies around,” he said, looking at his device. “Four of them, and they’re moving.”

I raised an eyebrow. “Hostiles?”

He nodded sadly, then looked at his device. “There are five of them, just beyond our cover— Wait, they’re moving.”

I scanned the area and saw a tall, crumbling building that used to be an office building, I guessed. The rooftop was still intact, and it looked like a good vantage point.

“I’ll get to the rooftop and see what kind of ponies we’re dealing with,” I said.

Dart hummed in agreement. “Sounds good.” He gave me a worried look. “Please be careful.”

I nodded and flew up to the top of the building, staying hidden behind a wall. I followed the compass on my Pip-Buck for the approximate locations of the ponies, but I didn’t have the E.F.S. feature that Dart had. Damn.

I took out my binoculars and spotted one of them by the rooftop. He was wearing dirty raider armor, and he had a spear in his mouth with blood stains on it. He was twitching and muttering to himself. Definitely a raider. I looked around and saw more of them, all wearing similar outfits and carrying different weapons. The other one on the roof had a rifle, another on the ground had a shotgun, and the other two had machetes.

I saw the building where they were hiding, and it looked like a grocery store or something. The sign was missing some letters, but I could make out ‘mart’.

I flew back down to Dart and told him what I saw. “Raider ponies,” I said. “They have a base in some kind of grocery store.”

“A grocery store, huh…” Dart repeated thoughtfully. “Hmm, maybe we can deal with them… but what kind of weapons do they have?”

I told him what I had seen from the rooftop. “A mix of guns and blades, typical raider weapons.”

Dart thought for a moment. “We could try to sneak past them and scavenge their stuff,” he suggested, his eyes fixed on the raider’s base. “We have a shot if we’re stealthy and smart.”

I hesitated, feeling unsure about my sneaking skills, especially against raiders whom I usually take them out immediately. “I haven’t done this kind of thing in a while,” I admitted, a hint of nervousness in my voice. “But if it’s the best option, I guess we can give it a try.”

“Don’t worry, I’ve got your back,” he said, levitating his pistol and raising an eyebrow. “And I’m surprised you’re not into this plan.”

“It’s the damn raiders,” I said, annoyed. “Why waste time sneaking when we can just, you know,” I pulled out Pew-Pew to make my point, “Blast them away?”

Dart narrows his eyes at me, “We’re only here to scavenge, not to go on a killing spree, Dusk.”

I purse my lips, still confused. I holster the laser pistol back, “If things go south, we’ll have to defend ourselves.”

Dart was about to say something, but he closed his mouth and shoved his pistol back into his saddlebag. He sighed and looked at the rubble. “Alright.”

Without another word, Dart and I crouch low and begin our stealthy approach towards the grocery store where the raiders have made their base. The crumbling buildings provide some cover as we move quietly through the decaying town. I can’t shake the feeling that this is a bad idea, but my hoofsteps are as light as I can make them.

When we got close to the grocery store, Dart signaled me to stop and hide behind a rusty cart. He peeked around the corner and whispered to me. “I see two of them guarding the front door, but there’s a back door too. If we can get in without being noticed, we might have an advantage.”

I nodded, feeling my heart pounding in my chest. Dart led the way, moving cautiously towards the rear of the grocery store. I followed him, wondering if there was anything left inside. The windows were shattered and the shelves looked empty, as if the raiders had taken everything.

We reached the back entrance, and Dart gently pushed the door open. It revealed a dimly lit storage area, with a faint orange glow from a terminal. We slipped inside, careful not to make any noise.

The room was filled with rows of dusty, abandoned shelves, most of them picked clean by scavengers or time itself. Dart and I moved silently through the store, searching for anything that could be of use. As we went deeper, the familiar rotting stench of raider bases grew stronger.

We spotted a closed door labeled “Manager’s office”, but somepony had crossed it out with red paint or blood (I hoped it was paint) and written “Loot and shit” instead. Dart tried to twist the knob, but it was locked.

He levitated his bobby pin and screwdriver, ready to pick the lock. But before he could start, I heard a soft gasp from behind us. We turned around quickly, with my laser rifle drawn.

We both froze when we saw a little brown colt pointing a crappy hoofmade pistol at us. He was clearly a raider, with his shitty armor and filthy coat. His black eyes were wide with fear and his body was shaking nervously.

“Hey, hey… it’s okay…” Dart said in a friendly voice, but low enough that only we could hear him. He took a few slow steps towards the colt, trying to calm him down. “We’re not gonna hurt you.”

I kept my aim on the raider colt, while giving Dart a sideways glance. What the hell was he doing?

“Do you live here?” Dart asked the kid, keeping his voice gentle. He seemed to be trying to distract him, maybe to disarm him. “Listen, it’s not safe here and we can help you out.”

“N-No…” the colt stammered, backing away from Dart. “Please stay back… d-don’t come any closer…”

I watched as Dart and the colt moved within my view. I noticed that the colt was getting more tense as Dart got closer. His jaw tightened around his pistol, and I knew he was about to pull the trigger.

I wasn’t going to take any chances. I deactivated my rifle and shot out my wings instead. I zoomed towards the colt and pinned him to the ground.

I heard a muffled noise behind me, but I didn’t care. All I saw was the colt, still clutching his pistol, ready to shoot me. I wrapped both my forehooves around his neck and squeezed hard, using my wings for extra force. The colt let go of his pistol, but I didn’t let go of him. I squeezed harder, until I felt something popped underneath his coat and hear a sickening crack.

Then something magical wrapped around me and threw me off him. I got up, still in a daze, and saw Dart looking at me with horror in his eyes.

“Why?” he choked out. “Why the fuck did you do that?”

I was confused, disoriented, unable to comprehend what had just happened. It wasn’t until I looked down at the ground. The colt lay there still, with his neck bruised and dislocated in a unnatural angle.

A cold dread washed over me, and I backed away, staring at the corpse.

I killed a colt, a fucking child.

"Dusk, why did you—"

"He was going to shoot, for Celestia’s sake! He was about to kill you."

It was our last… talk, before he grabbed the lockpick and opened the door. He didn’t wait for me to follow him as he ran out of the grocery store, leaving me behind with the stuff he didn’t bother to scavenge. We had no idea where we were going, no plan, no proximate location, nothing. We just kept running until we reached the edge of town, hoping the raiders wouldn’t catch up with us.

I felt a sharp pain in my head, but I ignored it.

He led me into a small building that had a faded sign saying “Pharmacy” above the door. It looked like it had survived the war better than most of the other ruins around us.

The inside was a different story. The pharmacy was a mess of broken shelves and smashed glass. It had been looted long ago, but there were still some yellow medicine boxes with three pink butterfly logos on them. Dart was already picking the locks, hoping to find something useful like bandages, healing potions, or Rad-X.

The silence between us was suffocating.

I wanted to say something, anything, but I didn’t know what. How do you apologize for killing somepony? Even if they were a raider, even if they were a kid, even if they were trying to kill you.

But it felt wrong. It felt like I had crossed a line that I couldn’t go back from.

I decided to keep my mouth shut and mind my own business. I searched the back of the pharmacy, hoping to find something that Dart had missed. But as I walked past a door, I saw something glowing in the dark. My Pip-Buck started to click like crazy, warning me of radiation.

I activated my rifle and held the trigger in my mouth. As I got closer, I saw three ghouls in lab coats lying on the floor. They looked like they had been pharmacists centuries ago, but now they were nothing but rotting flesh and bones. They raised their heads when they saw me, and snarled.

“Shit!” I yelled as they lunged at me. I backed away and fired my energy rifle, sending a blue beam of light at one of them. The beam hit its target, turning the ghoul into dust. But the other two were too fast for me to aim at them. One of them bit my right shoulder, and the other grabbed my left foreleg. I screamed in pain and tried to push them off me. My Pip-Buck clicked faster and faster, warning me about Radiation Poisoning.

I expected Dart to come and help me, to shoot them with his pistol, but he didn’t. He didn’t make a sound.

I laughed bitterly in my mind.

I kicked the ghoul off my shoulder, feeling its slimy rotted-pony-goo on my recycled Enclave fatigues. I shuddered and kicked the other one with my hind legs, sending it flying into a empty shelf. It crashed and fell to the ground.

I quickly aimed Zap-Zap at the ghoul that was still moving and fired a strong beam at its head. It vaporized in a flash of light.

I was about to do the same to the other one, when I heard a gunshot. The ghoul’s head exploded, and its body went limp.

I peeked behind the toppled shelf and saw Dart pointing his smoking gun at me with his magic. He was looking at me with a bitter expression on his face.

I gasped for air, trying to ignore the throbbing in my shoulder and foreleg and the nausea from the radiation. “What do you want from me, Dart?” I spat, more pissed than remorseful. “A sorry?”

Dart’s eyes narrowed and his gun didn’t waver, as if he was ready to pull the trigger any second.

The words that came out of my mouth made me want to puke. “I’m not going to apologize for killing a pony who was trying to kill us.”

“He was just a kid, Dusk!” Dart screamed, his voice cracking with grief. “How can you be so heartless? How can you shoot foals like they’re nothing?”

“I don’t fucking know!” I shouted back, feeling my body shake. “But I know it’s wrong to kill a kid, except he was a fucking raider, Dart! I don’t care if he didn’t choose to be born as a raider or whatever bullshit excuse you have, but I do what it takes to keep us alive!”

I stumbled towards him, and he flinched. I didn’t care. I kept going. “You can call me a murderer or whatever the hell makes you feel better, but you can’t fucking deny that kid was about to blow your brains out as you tried to play nice…” I trailed off, feeling fainter and fainter.

The last thing I saw before everything went dark was Dart looking away and lowering his gun.

… that moment reminded me of Lucky, except I'm way more fucked than before.

"... This isn’t some kind of afterlife, ____. This is reality."

"But… I’m supposed to be in that ______ right now. So how come I can see what everyone’s doing…? Where the hell am I?"

"I don’t know exactly where this is, but this is where the souls that are supposed to be gone get stuck. We’re trapped in the _____."

"Wh…"

"Come on, _______. Don’t dump that on ____, she’s already been through enough."

“What the hell…” I muttered as I slowly opened my eyes. My body felt weightless as I felt the familiar bandages wrapped around my right shoulder and left foreleg. Looking down to my body, I saw my dark gray coat marred by unpleasant scars that snaked across my skin. Of course, stripped again for medical reasons.

I blinked more to ease my vision, seeing that I lay on a rough, makeshift bed that barely qualified as a damn bed. It was made out of… whatever that was. I shifted slightly, and a dull pain shot through my body, confirming that I was indeed alive.

In the dim light of the room, which bore a striking resemblance to an office, I noticed the worn-down walls and flickering neon green light emanating from an old terminal by my bedside. I saw a familiar sight of Dart, who had his back turned to me, hunched over the terminal, his hooves clacking on the keys as he typed something.

“Dart?” I called out, my voice soft and raspy from disuse. He didn’t respond, his concentration solely fixed on the terminal screen or maybe he just didn’t hear my weak ass voice.

As I turned my head to the side, I spotted an old, dirty trash bin near the corner of the room. Empty bottles of healing potions and RadAways were scattered inside. They looked recent, which meant Dart had been working tirelessly to keep me alive or drain the shit ton of radiation from fighting off the glowing ghouls earlier.

Wait, was it actually earlier? I immediately checked on my Pip-Buck for time, and sweet clouds it was almost night time? When will I ever stop passing out and see the time passing by so damn quick?

I decided to get up and see what Dart was doing, but as soon as I sat up, a fresh wave of pain hit me. I gritted my teeth and endured it.

Well, it was a damn relief at least that Dart didn’t leave me to die or something. But what was he so busy with? I watched him for a while, curious about what he was looking at on the terminal screen.

As I trotted closer to him from behind, I cleared my throat and spoke much louder, “Dart?”

He jumped in surprise and immediately turned around to me, “Oh Goddesses above,” he gasped, then relaxed as we caught eye contact, “Oh, it’s you Dusk.”

He turned away from me, his expression more pained than angry as I expected him to be after what happened back in the grocery store.

I was about to say something first, but Dart beat me to it. Still looking away from me, he said, “I still don’t forgive you for killing the colt.” He let out a long sigh. “I know it’s… logical for you to do that, to keep us alive, but I still can’t help but feel awful and angry about it.”

He then turned his head to me, his eyes glistening with tears. “Why— no, how?” he asked. “How were you able to kill a kid so easily, with no remorse?”

I swallowed, feeling extremely uncomfortable that I had to openly talk about how easy murder was for me, but I had to put this all to a close for the sake of making that stallion understand my psyche. “Of course I still feel shitty about it. It’s just…” I glanced away from Dart. “I’ve killed enough ponies to the point that it’s easy for me to kill basically anypony.”

As expected, Dart’s expression was horrified. “Goddess help us all…” He slowly rubbed his face with his hooves, as if trying to ease himself or prevent himself from losing his damn mind knowing that he was hanging out with a mare who didn’t give two shits about pony life.

“I’m sorry,” I whispered. “That’s just… how I am. I’m not some sort of good-hearted hero in the Wasteland.”

Dart let out a trembling exhale as he lowered his hooves. “No, no… don’t apologize. I was just… sensitive.” He gave me a softened look. “I also didn’t expect that’s your reason too… but, I still won’t forgive you.”

I pursed my lips. “I don’t ask you to forgive me for killing that kid, Dart.”

He closed his eyes and gave an absent nod. Dart turned back to the terminal, his hooves still hovering above the keys, except he wasn’t typing anything anymore. His gaze remained focused on the screen, and I could tell that the image of me killing the colt haunted him.

I limped closer to him. I was glad he hadn’t just abandoned me, but there was clearly a rift between us now.

As the seconds ticked by in silence, the air in the room became heavier, until it was almost unbearable. The only sounds were the soft hum of the terminal and our shallow breaths.

Finally, I couldn’t take the silence anymore. “Dart, what are you doing on that terminal?”

Dart didn’t answer immediately. He continued to stare at the screen as if it held all the answers to his questions. When he did respond, his voice was quiet. “Just… reading the entries from a Pharmacist who used to work here.”

I nodded absently, still feeling the pain of our strained relationship. Or maybe he was just exhausted as hell. Or maybe both. “Then… is there any useful info that we can use there?”

Dart hesitated, finally turning to face me. “No… I don’t think so, except for the safe code that I already opened. Good thing there were extra drugs that saved your life.”

“Got it.” I answered flatly.

“Then… we’ll move on to New Thunderhead, Dusk. But for now, we need to rest.” Dart gave a tired sigh, rubbing his eyes with a hoof. “We both could use some healing, both physically and mentally.”

I couldn’t argue with that. We had been through a lot, and my body was still weak from the damn radiation exposure. I turned back to the makeshift bed and laid down, closing my eyes.

Dart sat beside me, his hooves still trembling slightly. "Dusk, I know we have our differences, but I still care about you. Just… promise me you'll think twice before… you know."

I nodded, not sure if I could keep that promise, but willing to try. "Sure."

Radiation Awareness Alert! Don't let your Geiger counter sing you a deadly lullaby. Too much radiation means you're on a one-way ticket to Ghoulville! Keep those Rad-X and RadAway handy, and remember, glowing in the dark is not a fashion statement!