Nut

by Spazz Kid

Rating: teen
Tags: Human, Twilight Sparkle, Anon, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Sex, Spike, Profanity, Random
Length: 1090

Anon finds an old button in his room labeled "Nut". Things surely do happen!

Anon finds an old button in his room labeled "Nut".

Things surely do happen!

Sex tag for dumb smexual jokes

Featured (somehow) on November 5th 2021, so that's cool

Now with a reading by StraightToThePointStudio!

Published 2021-11-04 21:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2021-11-04 21:00:01 UTC

Button

Anon was digging through the old boxes in his room, as you do.
He was searching for this book he borrowed from Twilight a while ago. He's not exactly sure why he borrowed the book, because he's comically illiterate, but he has it none the less.

Also, like the single brain-cell troglodyte he is, he always puts everything in these generic ass looking cardboard boxes, which are all in the corner. Why he's so fucking weird, we'll probably never know.

Anywho, yeah, he's found quite a collection of things - A half of a pencil, a tattered stuff animal, a pink, heart shaped crystal, an old hockey mask with a crack on the upper left side, a weird mask connected to a backpack with large canisters on it, but no book.

The search through these boxes was even more fruitless than the time Discord got drunk, and headed on over to Sweet Apple Acres to try and bang Applejack. Or was it Big Mac? Anon can't really remember.

Anon was about to give up his search, when he accidentally knocked over a box, and out tumbled a few items - a bottle labeled "Niro's feel good water", a weird spiky headband thing, and ... a button. Anon immediately went for the button, and he held it up to his face.

"N U T"

A loud voice came out of the cheap plastic, which said the word that was printed on the blue button.
Anon, being the absolute fucking idiot he is, decided this was more important that whatever the hell he was searching for beforehand. He was gonna have fun with this...

(\***/)

"Look Tropina, I just don't think a relationship between us would work."
Twilight was sitting on her throne thing, with Spike sitting next to her, snoozing like the lazy fucker he is. Tropina Orangeblossom, local orange enthusiast, and random friend of Twilight Sparkle, was proposing the idea of being in a romantic relationship with the Princess, to which we know answer to. Let's see where this conversation goes!

"But.. why??" Tropina asked, visibly heartbroken, tears threatening to fall down her face.

"Well, first, contrary to popular belief, I'm not gay... most of the time." Twilight started, trying her best to act maturely. "And second, I just don't feel that way about you Tropina."

Tropina looked down and sniffed.

"Hey, don't be sad we can still be friends!" Twilight smiled warmly, and put her hoof on Tropina's shoulder. "We can still hang ou-"

"N U T"

A voice, strange but powerful, echoed through the halls.

"... What was that?" Tropina asked, all hints of sadness gone, replaced with confusion.

"I don't know..." Twilight said, looking around for the source of the voice.

Spike was awake now, and was looking around, grumbling stupidly, "Where's the cannon??"

"Cannon?" Twilight looked down at Spike, slightly glaring at him. "Spike, now is not the time for a reference!"

"N U T"

It was the voice again, but this time, it felt magnified. Twilight suddenly gained a look of frustrated understanding.

"Faustdammit, Anon.." She muttered, rubbing her head with her hoof. She looked down at Spike again. "Spike, go tell Anon to shut the hell up."

"N U T"

"ANON!! SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Twilight screamed back at it.

"N U T"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" Twilight screeched.

Anon suddenly slipped into the room, a small button and a megaphone in his hands.

"Anon!" Twilight snarled, her mane messy. "What the fuck are you doing???"

Tropina and Spike looked at her in complete shock.

"Vibin'" Anon replied simply.

"What does 'vibin' entail??" Twilight glared at him. Anon was still unfazed.

"Oh you know, annoying you.." Anon grinned.

"Well, you're doing a pretty good job." Spike said, snickering.

"Spike. Shut." Twilight said simply in a deadly whisper.

They all sat in silence for what seemed like a long time.

"You know Twilight, I've always wanted to-"

"N U T"

" - all over you." Anon chuckled stupidly. They all looked at him, Twilight and Tropina appalled, Spike confused.

"Why would want to throw nuts at Twilight?" Spike asked, scratching his chin. "Or maybe you're saying you want to eat nuts with Twilight.. why don't you just ask her, dude? I'm sure she'll be fine with it!"

Anon's grin was massive. He walked over to Twilight, who was stuttering incoherently, face extremely red, and leaned over, holding the button in front of him. "Twilight, may I - "

"N U T"

"- with you?"

Twilight looked manic, her eye twitching crazily, and her face still very red.

Tropina looked at the button that Anon was holding with an inquisitive look. "Hey, can I see that?"

Anon looked at her. "Uh, yeah, sure." He handed it over.

Tropina took the button, and propped it in her left hoof, held her right hoof over it....

And began to rapidly press the button.

"NUTNUTNUTNUTNUTNUTNUTNUTNUTNUTNUTNUTNUTNUTNUTNUT" A fast, ungodly chant rang from the piece of cheap plastic.

"Uh, orange character I've never seen before, I don't think you should do tha-" Anon said, trying to stop her, until suddenly.

SNAP!

Tropina had crushed the small button between her hooves. Anon looked destroyed.

"NNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!" He screamed in anguish, falling to his knees. "MY BABY! THE ONLY ONE I EVER LOVED!!" He sobbed uncontrollably.

Twilight looked absolutely exasperated, but squinted at Tropina, and slightly shook her head in what seemed to be disapproval. She then hesitantly patted Anon on the shoulder, an extremely tired look on her face.

Spike was still confused. "What does that mean, 'nut'?"

"I'll tell you when you're older." Twilight said.

(\***/)

Anon was back in his room, cradling the remains of his button as he walked over to a small, crudely made cardboard coffin. He tried his best to not lose control of the tears threatening to fall from his eyes. He gently laid the pieces of plastic and simple wiring with the coffin, and closed it.

He picked it up, and carried it over to his closet. He opened the door to it, and set it on the shelf near the top of it.

"Goodbye... Lil' Nut." Anon said, tears now falling freely. He closed his closet, and walked over to a wall, where a picture was stuck to it with a knife. It was a picture of Tropina, the pony that had mercilessly murdered his beloved. He glared at it with his bloodshot eyes. "One day. One day.."

Author's Note

Tropina Orangeblossom is my greatest Oc, and nothing you say can convince me otherwise!