Fluttertype

“And that's when she said 'No! You have chicken mouth!'” Pinkie Pie cackled, then proceeded to slap the tabletop multiple times, rattling an array of empty plates and half-consumed bottles of beer and wine. “Hah hah hah hah!” She hugged herself, teetering backwards in her chair until she nearly fell to the floor completely. Both Applejack and Flash Sentry had to reach their arms in to steady her, and Pinkie tipped back safely towards the table, wheezing. “Ohhhhhhhhhhh I guess that's something of an inside joke.”

“Yeah...” Starlight Glimmer nodded. “Maybe I had to have been here.” The special guest of the night took another sip of human-world alcohol, desperately hoping that the fabled 'buzz' would kick in, but all she felt was woozy. She steadied herself by gazing amicably at the circle of friends gathered at the late night restaurant outing before her. Off in the distance, waiters and servers were cleaning off various tables, beginning the long process of stacking chairs upside down, clearing registers of the day's profit, and preparing the establishment for a full close. “Y'know, some of our chickens come with dragon tails.” Starlight smirked, as if the following anecdote could somehow be on par with Pinkie's randomness. “And when they stare at you directly, you become hard as granite.”

“Cockatrices.” Sunset Shimmer pointed with a knowing smirk. She sat besides Flash Sentry with her arms folded, pulling the pose off with far more simian grace than Starlight could ever hope to achieve at that rate. “Equestria's one and only way of getting stoned.”

“What, are there no drugs in ponyland?” Rainbow Dash spoke into her beer with an eyebrow raised.

“Well—there's cider.” Starlight bit her lip with mixed embarrassment and frustration. “Which—I must admit—typically does a better job than what we're having right now.”

“What?? You're knockin' our brew, foo???” Pinkie barked.

“Simmer down, sally,” drawled Applejack. “She just means they make a fine kickin' drink over there beyond the mirror.” The tall and muscular woman brushed her blonde bangs back with a proud smirk. Her trademark hat rested neatly (and politely) on the corner rest of her chair. “Lemme guess—it's the finest apple distillation...?”

“That's all I care to sample whenever I'm in Ponyville~” Starlight said in a sing-songy tone.

“Heh heh! Darn tootin'!” Applejack leaned back with well-toned arms crossed behind her head. “No wonder this here stuff ain't doin' it for her!”

“No doubt her body mass is a major factor,” Twilight Sparkle said.

Starlight nearly spat out her last sip. “B'excuse me...?!” she gawked at Twilight with a dangerous smirk.

“Erhmmm...” Twilight shrunk slightly, leaning towards the taller figure seated beside her. “...all I mean is—you get bigger in size once you pass through the mirror, right?”

“Hahahah... Twi's just spittin' facts, Glim-Glam.” Timber Spruce wrapped a loving arm around Twilight's shoulder and winked at the group's guest. “After all—ponies in Equestria are about the size of regular house cats.” A beat. His goofy smile lingered as he blinked. “...aren't they?”

“That is a baseless and unfounded rumor,” Starlight said. She picked her bottle up and raised it to her lips. Her next words echoed feebly into the upper hollow of the container, providing a metallic tone: “But you're both on point.”

The other nine humans around the table laughed merrily. All but one. In a very warm and melodic tone, Fluttershy's voice cooed its wispy way through the cacophony of chuckles:

“Awwwwwww...! That means you're absolutely small and fuzzy and cuddable all of the time~!”

Starlight's eyes instantly lifted. As did her pulse. She opened her mouth to respond—

“Yes yes—ponies are certainly quite adorable, darling,” Rarity rolled her tongue, along with her eyes. A true blue vampire. “Which only makes sense that their spirits aren't so easily crippled by alcoholic beverages, Equestrian or Terran.” What followed was a mischievous smirk as the fashionista leaned suggestively forward in her seat while elegantly swirling a glass of wine with a well-manicured hand. “However—what about the more velvety vices?” she purred.

“Buh?” Pinkie blinked crookedly.

“She's talkin' about sex,” Applejack belched, visibly deflating Rarity's cougarish veneer.

“Buhhhhhhhh...” Pinkie nodded, only to sport a cheekish smile. “Rockinghorse time!”

“Oh gosh...” Twilight Sparkle facepalmed, if only to hide a furious blush spreading beneath her thick-rimmed spectacles. “One way or another, it always comes to this conversation.”

“Well, if it did, nobody would be in the mood to have it any longer,” Timber said with a wink.

“Pfft. You mean you wouldn't.” Twilight playfully swatted his shoulder. “Mr. One Way Ticket to Slumberland!”

“Augh!” Timber pantomimed a bullet to the chest. “Stream sniped~~!”

“Heehee—!”

“Oh pleeeeease...” Rarity swirled both her eyes and wine, centering once again upon the table with a sultry smirk. “We're all adults here!”

“True that.” Applejack stifled a yawn, then smirked sideways at the much smaller woman seated beside her. “Rainbow Dash excluded, of course.”

Rainbow nearly choked on her beer, spurting: “H-hey!”

Half the table giggled at her expense.

“I'm as legal as it gets! Four and a half years and counting!” Rainbow held up fingers for emphasis—having to count and adjust them midway through the exclamation. She teetered slightly in her seat and slurred further: “Same as you stupid dipshits!”

“Then how come yer always the only one in the group to get carded?” Applejack's teeth glinted behind her smirk.

“Not my fault that they're profiling!”

“Or that you're so adorably tiny,” Rarity added.

“I'm not small...!” Rainbow next sipped with poise and elegance, nose tilted up. “I'm just built for compact parking!”

“More like 'compact boinking,'” Pinkie added with a giggle-snort.

“Oh, isn't that the truth,” Sunset Shimmer suddenly interjected. “It's no secret that Rainbow's a pegasus on the other side of the mirror—both Rainbow Dashes.” The redhead shrugged her jacketed shoulders for emphasis, smiling. “And pegasi absolutely love to fuck nonstop.”

“Pfffft!” Flash Sentry nearly suffered a seizure beside her. “G-goddammit, Sunset—!” His voice was stuck between a laugh and a wheeze.

“I mean it!” Sunset grinned crookedly, glancing at all the others. “Canterlot citizens call them 'sky jackrabbits' for a reason!”

“She's not wrong...” Starlight said, squirming left and right in her chair with an amused smirk. “It's a damn good thing most of those clouds are moisture absorbent.”

“Ugh...” Twilight facepalmed again. “I can't believe I'm hearing this...”

Starlight chuckled. “Is it really that surprising?”

Sunset looked over. “You know that smell of rain shortly after Cloudsdale swoops over town to collect moisture?”

“Like wet feathers and sourdough bread,” Starlight nodded back with a knowing glint in her eyes. “Back home, my dad taught me to drink bottled water for a week after the megastratopolis moved out.”

“So you also know that old mare's tale about getting your stomach pregnant!”

“Yes!” Starlight glimmered. “Kindergarteners used to pretend that our livers would sprout wings and fly for the horizon!”

“Okay...” Rainbow Dash pointed a finger. “Your culture is fucking weird.”

“To each their own.” Rarity brushed her bangs back and smiled glamorously at their guest. “I don't know about the rest of you, but I feel... secure in knowing that cute and colorful quadrupeds get it on—as t'were—as much as we humans do.”

“Ain't that a tad bit uncouth of you to admit, Rares?” Applejack asked.

“Most indubitably.” Rarity sipped her wine.

“Uhm...” Fluttershy leaned back, her beautiful face hiding a bit behind her lengthy pink locks. “When I first heard that Starlight was going to pay us another visit, I didn't think we'd be talking about this...” She brushed at her bangs, only for the fuchsia threads to slide straight back. Massive hair on a massive woman. In just a few short years, the human avatar of kindness had grown splendidly tall, so that a stunned Starlight had to lift her twitching eyes up a bit to take in the full scale of her beauty and—

“Things change,” Sunset Shimmer said. “And so do priorities.” She leaned her hand on her chin. “Equestrian magic's been pretty tame this side of the mirror lately. We've spent these years working more on our careers than our superheroism...”

“And our music,” Rainbow added with a touch of bitterness.

Sunset weathered a brief sigh but smiled on. “It's refreshing to touch base after so long... especially since now we can afford to do so without the proverbial safety gloves.”

“Gloves?” Starlight blinked.

Rarity held one hand up and wiggled her painted nails.

“Oh. Right.” Starlight wiggled her hand back. She paused—gazing at her fingers—then focused through the rising fog on a nugget of courage. “Say... speaking on the subject of sky jackrabbits doin' it...”

“Oh boy...” Flash Sentry tensed up. “...should I be scared of where this is going?”

“Sssshhh...” Sunset Shimmer patted his shoulder with a coy wink. “Take it easy, honey. What have you left to be freaked out about while you're around us at this point?”

The young man blinked. “Heh...” He stroked his stubbled chin with a crooked smirk. “Well said.”

“What's on your mind, Starlight?” Rainbow Dash asked.

“Rarity put it best. We're all adults here—equine or otherwise.” Starlight Glimmer smiled at the group as a whole, her eyes bright and curious. “I've been meaning to ask you people something for a long... long time...”

“And what is that?” Rarity asked.

Starlight cocked her head to the side. “Just what is each of your types?”

The table was silent. The sound of rattling plates and stacked chairs echoed across the emptying restaurant in the distance.

“Our... types...?” Rainbow Dash repeated blankly.

“Y'know...” Starlight waved her hand floppily as if it was still a hoof. “...your—”

“Ohhhhhhhhhhh...!” Rainbow sat up at full height, which was still dwarfed by Applejack and others seated beside her. “Our types!”

“Right.” Starlight smirked. “Can't blame a scholarly unicorn for wanting to do some field research.”

“Uhhhhh...” Timber Spruce smiled nervously, reaching over with both hands to gently and lovingly squeeze Twilight Sparkle's shoulders. “This! This right here is my t-type!” He smiled sweatily, eyes locked tightly on the group's inquisitive guest. “This lovely lady and nobody else!”

As the rest of the table chuckled, Twilight icily turned to squint at her significant other. “...you're pretty darn quick to slide safely into first base, there, Mister.”

“What can I say?” Timber scratched the back of his head with a sheepish smile. “The moment I got there, it was far too nice and comfy to leave!”

“Hmmm.” Twilight smiled, rosy-cheeked. “Touche.” Adjusting her glasses, she turned to look at Starlight while pointing a single finger at Timber. “My type is adorkable outdoorsy goofs... obviously.”

“Mmmmm...” Timber shifted in his seat slightly. “...what about that one summer that you were really really really into Rosette Nebula?”

“... … ...she never made it to first base.”

“Hah!” Timber nudged Twilight's shoulder. “Touche back at ya.”

“Oh, Twilight, don't kid yourself, sweetie.” Rarity winked playfully. “You always did have a sweet spot for tall, prim, proper, authority figures.”

“Wait.” Timber blinked at the group. “What?”

“Heehee! Yeah!” Pinkie Pie bounced in her seat. “Remember back at CHS? Whenever Principal Celestia would make a booming announcement over the P.A. system??” She pointed towards Twilight's seat with a goofy smirk. “She always had to excuse herself for an emergency bathroom break!!! Ha ha!”

“Wait.” Timber blinked at Twilight. “What?”

“Mmmmmm...” Twilight blushed deeply into her next sip of beer.

“My turn~” Rarity rang forth.

Starlight did a double-take, ultimately pivoting to face the fashionista. “O-oh! Okay...!”

“A tall, muscular, handsome, strapping young beau,” Rarity said, fanning herself.

Starlight stroked a loose bang of hair, thoughtfully. “I see.”

“I've never totally understood that term,” Pinkie said, face scrunched. “Just what does 'strapping' mean?”

“It means they've no need to strap anything on themselves because mother nature did all that work already,” Rarity added, fanning herself even more. “And now...” She bit her bottom lip as elegantly as she could. “...it's their time to put in the work.”

Applejack sighed to the ceiling. “Land's sake...”

“Scoff all you want!” Rarity took a sip of wine and upturned her nose. “It might seem bland and normal—but give me a well-equipped stud any day of the week!”

“Just that?” Starlight stifled a giggle. “Well-equipped?”

“Well...” Rarity had to pause in fanning herself. “N-no. Not just that.” She tongued the inside of her mouth as she carved circles in the inner atmosphere of the restaurant above them. “There's most definitely more to a prospective male partner than stamina, muscle, and oodles of sexual energy.”

“Really...?” Rainbow Dash droned.

A pause.

“Fine!” Rarity downed the rest of her glass of wine, exhaled, and poured herself some more, all the while griping: “Just give me walking slabs of meat and I am quite satiated!”

“'Satiated,' eh?” Applejack smirked aside at Rainbow. “You notice she said 'slabs'—plural...?”

“That I did.” Rainbow high-fived Applejack, chuckling.

Applejack high-fived her back, chuckling too.

“Oh please...” Rarity sat sideways in her chair, wine glass raised and legs crossed indignantly. “...fantasize a little.”

“Not that much into monogamy, I take it...?” Starlight asked.

Upon hearing that, Rarity locked eyes with the guest. “Well, I have a career, Ms. Glimmer,” she said in a suddenly sober tone. “It burdens me to say this, but—I haven't the time to sacrifice for a long-term relationship... much less children or a committed marriage...”

“Y'know...” Sunset shrugged. “Whichever comes first.”

“Hah!” Rarity laughed, gazing thoughtfully into her wine. “But—every now and again—if a fine specimen of masculinity were to breeze my way, I would make it completely worth his while... so long as he made it worth my while.” She took a sip, swallowed, and licked her painted lips. “But only for an evening.”

“But what if they were really really 'strapping'?” Pinkie mused.

Rarity squinted. Rarity hummed. Rarity spat: “Fine. Two evenings. But no more~”

The table chuckled.

Starlight smiled, looking across the table. “How about you, Pinkie Pie?”

“Hmmm? Oh! Pffft...” The woman tossed her frizzly head of hair and rolled her eyes. “Pass.”

“Pass??” Rainbow squinted.

“Uhhhh... I can pass, right?” Pinkie gnawed on her lip. “If that's okay'n'stuff?”

“S-sure thing!” Starlight threw back a friendly smile. “Not like there're any rules to this question!”

“Cuz—the way I see it—my life is fullllll enough as it is with the creamy frosting of friendship and party planning and birthday parties and baking for the Cakes...!” Pinkie practically stood up in her chair, waving her arms about dramatically. “I'm just bouncin' around too much to settle down for... laying down... with someone?? I guess??? Sooooooo...” She slumped back in her chair and balanced an empty beer bottle atop her nose. “Why bother with getting full up with 'creamy frosting' of another sort—errrr—!” She lost her balance, and Applejack and Flash had to steady her again, meanwhile she caught the empty bottle in sweaty palms before it could drop to the floor. A tender gulp, and she smiled innocently at Starlight across the table. “Does that make any sense?”

Rarity answered for her. “It absolutely does, darling~” She brandished a warm, sisterly smile. “And there's nothing wrong with that.”

“Good! Cuz the next time I get called a 'Crazy Kit Kat Lady' by some wacky rando, I'm liable to choke a biscuit!” Pinkie Pie cackled.

“Well said, sister,” Sunset Shimmer purred.

Starlight looked at her. “Sunset?”

Sunset smiled back. “Starlight!” A blink. “...oh! Right. Uhm... haven't we talked about this before?”

“You have?” Flash Sentry squinted at her.

Sunset rolled her eyes, then sat up with confidence. “Depends on how ever which way the wind blows. In or out.”

“Meaning...?” Starlight squinted.

“Uhm... duhhhh?” Rainbow Dash smirked. “She plays for both teams.”

“Ohhhhhhhhhh...” Starlight nodded.

“I always suspected as much...” Timber Spruce pointed at Sunset across the table. “Does that have something to do with you being a pony that moved into the human world?”

Sunset squinted back. “It has something to do with the fact that I'm bi, ya melon fuck.”

“Oh.” Timber blushed down into the table, shrinking a bit. “I knew that.”

Twilight chuckled and patted Timber's shoulder. “I know for a fact that Sunset has—or had—a thing for mousey, soft-spoken, bookwormish types.”

“Oh really...?” Starlight's gaze flicked between Twilight and Sunset across the table. Then her gaze flicked harder. “Oh really!” she sat up.

“But...” Sunset was already rolling her eyes, blushing a bit. “...that's all in the past.”

“Praise God...” Timber simpered, hair noticeably ruffled. “Cuz I'd have no friggin' chance,” he said through a crooked smile.

“Hmmmm...” Twilight pecked him on the lips. “...says you, goofball~”

“Not gonna pretend...” Starlight held a guilty hand up. “I had no honest idea.”

“Neither did we,” Sunset said, gazing across the table. “For a short time, we tried it. Annnnd—”

“Crashed and burned,” Twilight was already chuckling. “Hard.”

Starlight gulped. “How hard?”

“Well, we're still best friends, aren't we?” Twilight sing-songed.

“There's more to Twilight's type than has been said,” Sunset mused. “She wants an avatar of adorkablness who will stick around. Exclusively. And... well... my sails don't stick to one breeze.”

“Ahhhhh...” Starlight nodded. Inevitably, her eyes swept towards Flash.

Flash was already looking at her. “Go ahead.”

“And... uh...” Starlight motioned towards Sunset. “Are free-spirited polyamorous women your type?”

“Hmmmmmm...” Flash threw Sunset a half-glance, then wrapped an arm around her while smiling back at Starlight. “What's in a type?”

“Awwwwwwwwwwwww...” Starlight couldn't help but coo.

“Wait for it,” Applejack droned under her breath.

“Honestly, she just smells really good,” Flash droned. A coy wink. “Y'know, for a horse.”

“Guh!” Sunset shoved him hard.

Applejack chuckled as she and Rainbow Dash high-fived once again.

“What?” Flash shrugged, chuckling. “There's a reason I always sweep off the doormat to my place!”

Sunset crossed her arms, blushing a crimson shade to match her hair. “It's not like that.”

“I w-would hope not...!” Starlight sputtered.

“Sunset knows me like nobody else,” Flash said in a calm, meditative tone. He smiled gently, like admiring an autumn afternoon. “Whenever she's around, life feels... just right. I'm happy around her. Comfortable. Self-assured.” He caressed her hair with a loving look. “Why would I rob her of all of those feelings by insisting she stuck to just this moron...?”

Sunset sighed melodically, then gestured at the man beside her. “Now how can I argue with that?”

“How indeed,” Starlight mused.

Pinkie finished chewing on a breath mint. “Mrmmmfff—maybe it's because Flashie is extra 'strapping'...”

“Srkkkftt!!!” Rarity spat out some wine and furiously dabbed her chin.

“Mmmmmm... no comment...” Flash blushed.

“Comment...” Sunset raised her hand. “Won't confirm or deny—but doesn't hurt.”

“Except when it hurts good...!” Rainbow said. While Sunset and Flash cavorted with flabbergasted agony, she was already reaching over to slap Applejack's palm a third time. “Girl, we are on a roll tonight!”

“Hah hah hah! Eeeyup!” Applejack leaned casually back in her chair, chewing on a toothpick.

“What about you, AJ?” Starlight asked.

“What about what? Oh...” Applejack plucked the toothpick out and sat up. “Spotlight's on me, I reckon...”

“Uh huh...” Starlight Glimmer smirked. “Lemme guess. A hard-working honest green-thumb?”

“... … … are ya tryin' to fix me up with my pony self beyond the mirror?”

The table chuckled collectively.

“Heeheehee... I dunno, am I?” Starlight smiled.

“Mmmmmmm... hard to say...” Applejack scratched her golden crown. Her eyes wandered briefly in Pinkie's direction.

Starlight followed the path. “You... you can pass too if you like—”

“Ain't that I wanna pass, really... just... I ain't all that sure.” Applejack leaned back again, albeit this time with a contemplative sigh. She stared through the empty plates and bottles of the table and muttered: “Reckon—just like Rarity—I ain't even got the time to put much thought of it.”

“You have a monumental load of responsibilities, darling,” Rarity said. Her gaze took on a melancholic gloss. “It's a shame that you haven't an equal to share that weight with.”

“Pffft...” Rainbow Dash wheezed. “An equal to AJ?”

“Rainbow...” Twilight chided.

“There y'all go again... worryin' over me...” Applejack plucked her hat off the back of the chair and used it to fan herself as she gazed into some unnameable distance. “When I was a little'un, I used to think that—someday—I'd find myself a man to settle down with. We'd make our home on the same farm that my Ma and Pa settled in. We'd grow the same crops and harvest the same apples and carry on the same tradition as generations before. Only...” She gulped, shrugged, and exhaled: “I've done a mighty fine job handlin' all that on my own.” A beat, and she glanced warmly at those across the table. “With a lil' help from my friends, of course.”

“Of course~” Sunset said, smiling in equal measure.

“Reckon my life is just about as busy as Rarity's, although that's a mite bit up to debate. All that matters is... I've got my hands full, and findin' someone else to hold one of 'em with is just complicatin' thangs.”

“Exactly!” Pinkie Pie squeaked.

“Do I miss the feelin' of companionship? Or the feelin' of belongin' to somebody??” Applejack shrugged again. “Well, I certainly get enough of that from family and folk close to me.”

“Exactly!!” Pinkie Pie squeaked once more, nodding.

“Guess all that leaves me with is missin' out on havin' a nice roll in the hay...”

“Exact—oh...” Pinkie shrunk in her seat, twiddling a lock of frizzy pink hair. “I'llstopnow.”

Applejack calmly looked over at Starlight. “I... dun really know if I have a type.” She scratched her neck. “If I was to ever hook up with somebody, I'd want them to be honest—yes. But also sincere... loyal... dependable... … … strong and self-determined and... … … ethical-like? Does that make any sense?”

“Does it have to?” Fluttershy spoke up, grabbing Starlight's attention for the first time in minutes. She saw the tall and coquettish individual smiling in Applejack's direction. “I don't think it requires much thought, Applejack. What makes you feel complete in this life is whatever's right by you.”

“Sure, I guess...”

“Or we could just hook her up with her pony self,” Rainbow droned.

“Heheheh...” Applejack twirled her hat and plopped it up on her own head, winking with a confident smile. “Reckon I'll know my type whenever I run into them. Does that answer your question.”

Starlight nodded with a smile. “Works for me.”

“Although...” Applejack suddenly tongued the inside of her mouth, glancing up through the ceiling. “...does a portable showerhead faucet count as a 'type'?”

Both Sunset and Twilight snorted in time with one another. Timber and Flash shared blank, dumb expressions.

“Cuz—whew-wee!” Applejack tilted the brim of her hat back, sporting the barest hint of a blush through her otherwise concrete freckles. “We might as well be goin' steady at this point!” She chuckled, resting elbows oafishly on the table's edge. “Can a gal relate?”

“I swear...” Rarity rolled her eyes before taking a final sip of her wine. “...no sense of imagination.”

Fluttershy giggled warmly, smiling politely at the fashionista. “She gave her answer—as did you, Rarity—and we should respect that~”

“Yes, but mine was far more riveting...”

“And boring,” Rainbow muttered.

Meanwhile, Starlight's eyes were glittering. She leaned towards the edge of the table, her bright grin aimed at the fairest specimen in the room. “What about you, Fluttershy?”

A pair of turquoise eyes shrank under the shine of metaphorical headlights. “M-me...?”

The entire table drowned in silence, not that Starlight could presently be stabbed to notice—or care. A nameless enthusiasm spawned the words straight through her lips: “A graceful bachelorette such as you must have a type herself! Tell me! I'm dying to know!”

“D... d-dying...?” Fluttershy drifted away, as if stranded on a loose iceberg melting in the distance. For such a tall and buxom woman, she suddenly carried the feeble grace of a porcelain doll, shrinking more and more with each pulsating second that the question weighed on her. “I... uhm...”

Starlight Glimmer blinked, her smile fading under a thick veil of confusion. Sprinkled with slowly mounting concern.

“I... that is to say... ehm...” Fluttershy wrung her fingers together, shoulders hunched.

Rarity looked at Rainbow Dash, and Rainbow Dash looked back at Rarity. Starlight noticed this, observing the sober opaqueness of that shared gaze, like drawing a protective curtain straight across the table that Starlight had inadvertently breached. Or nearly had.

“I... uh...” Fluttershy wrung her fingers even tighter. There was a sudden sheen covering her brow, and Starlight noticed her tilting—teetering—once or twice towards the edge of her seat, as if contemplating a plunge... a plunge that she never took. For—sighing and deflating—the womany soul inevitably drifted back into herself, exhaling with curved shoulders defeatedly slumped. “I... don't really have a type.”

Silence.

Starlight's lips pursed. Her eyes narrowed. “You sure...?”

“Hey! If she says she doesn't have a type, then she doesn't have one!” Pinkie Pie crossed her arms with a huff. “Finito doughnutto!”

“That's... th-that's totally fine...!” Starlight sputtered, nevertheless throwing a worried—if not curious—look over in the tall woman's direction—

“Works for me!” Rainbow Dash chugged... chugged... chugged a lasting bottle of beer, exhaled, and sat up with her tiny athletic hands rubbing tightly together. “Cuz it's my turn! Ya ready, pony lady?! Here we go!” She opened her mouth wide: