Elements of Harm

by totallynotabrony

Rating: teen
Tags: Spike, Comedy, Random, Princess Celestia, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Nightmare Moon, Princess Luna
Length: 3280

The Elements of Harmony are guns

Nightmare Moon won the first battle, but luckily the Elements of Harmony turned into guns.

Published 2012-09-21 15:14:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-09-21 15:14:01 UTC

Ponyville

Author note: Kurt Vonnegut once said, “Start as close to the end as possible.” In the spirit of that, this is just action without all the icky emotion and training that led up to it.

Elements of Harm

Two mares walked down the dusty street. The noonday sun reminded them of their mission. Nightmare Moon hadn't quite been able to keep her promise of everlasting night. After all, the crops had to grow sometime.

An orange earth pony sneered at the sickly plants. "Once we get Princess Celestia back in power, we'll have all the sunshine we want."

Her companion, a purple unicorn, said, "One thing at a time, Applejack. Right now, we're focused on the task at hand."

"Sorry, Twilight. This is almost gettin' boring, y'know?" The orange pony adjusted the duster she wore. Twilight was garbed in something similiar.

A few ponies watched them stroll into town. It had been a long time since either of the mares had visited Ponyville. The place had changed a lot. A couple of the watchers wore violet and charcoal uniforms. Shadowbolts, thought Twilight, angrily.

"Just get to the town hall and we can take down that puppet mayor Nightmare Moon installed," advised the unicorn.

"Puppy mayor," suggested Applejack. "It's a diamond dog."

Twilight gave her a quick smile at the attempt at humor. "Just stick to the plan."

"Ah think Ah know how it's supposed to go," said Applejack.

A dozen or so Shadowbolts filed out of an alley up ahead, blocking the street. The two mares stopped. Applejack sighed. "That ain't how it's supposed to go."

"Well, I guess we'll just have to do it a different way," commented Twilight. Both mares pulled back their coats. The orange pony slid a Winchester 1887 lever-action shotgun from a scabbord on her back. The barrel was cut short, but the stock was still full length to make the weapon easier to handle. Hooves weren't that great at controling recoil.

With magic, Twilight drew her pistols. She had a holster on each leg, and two on a belt around her hips. The guns were all Colt Single Action Army revolvers, identical except for their serial numbers. The unarmed Shadowbolts scattered.

Guns were fairly new to Equestria. The first few had appeared mysteriously in place of the Elements of Harmony after the failed battle with Nightmare Moon. Others had been steadily showing up since then.

"Aww shucks," said Applejack as the departing Shadowbolts fled. She and Twilight began to walk again. There was a sudden shot, and a pony in the Shadowbolt uniform fell off a rooftop, a pistol clutched in his hooves.

Twilight tapped her ear, where the magical communicater had been placed. "Nice one, Rarity."

On a hilltop overlooking Ponyville, a white unicorn lay with a scoped rifle. She pulled back the bolt on her Springfield Model 1903, a shiny brass .30-06 casing flying out of the chamber. "No trouble, darling."

Beside Rarity, a pink pony with a frizzy mane quivered with excitement. "Don't you have a cannon to run, Pinkie?" asked the unicorn, annoyed.

"Nope! They haven't asked for artillery support yet," Pinkie told her. The hyper mare adjusted a strap that crossed over her back and under one of her front legs. Rarity sighed, wondering where Pinkie had come across the ill-fitting thing she called a "shoulder holster." The sniper went back to looking through her optics, searching for targets.

Back in the center of Ponyville, Twilight touched her ear again. "Rainbow, come in."

From somewhere overhead, a multicolored pegasus replied, "Yeah?"

"Keep your eyes peeled," advised the unicorn. "Never know when we might need close air support."

"I'd never leave my friends hanging," said Rainbow. "Don't worry, I've got your steel rain right here."

Twilight nodded to Applejack and the two of them kept moving. The half-dozen six-shooters floating around Twilight pointed themselves this way and that. Applejack kept her scattergun ready. Then, just like a shooting gallery, Shadowbolts began popping up.

The first few enemy ponies fell to Twilight and Applejack’s combined attack. Return fire forced the two mares to take cover. The purple unicorn ducked around the corner of a stone building. Her earth pony compatriot, however, was caught behind an old produce cart mired in the center to the street.

“Ah could use some help!” shouted Applejack in annoyance, looking skyward.

A multicolored streak separated from the glare of the sun and dove into the town. Rainbow Dash fired on the crowd of Shadowbolts, driving them out of the street. The Vz. 61 Skorpion clutched in the pegasus’ hooves was only a .32 caliber, but it spat the small bullets at an incredible rate.

Twilight and Applejack covered their friend while she reloaded. After a quick triple brohoof, they set off again, heading for the town hall. The bodies of slain Shadowbolts littered the street, but there had to be more waiting. “Amateurs,” muttered Rainbow as she stepped over one of the fallen ponies.

“This one isn’t dead…” said a quiet voice. The three mares looked back to see a yellow pegasus crouching over a Shadowbolt. She put a Smith & Wesson Model 36 to the stallion’s forhead. “Let me help you.”

“Why are you wasting bullets on those guys?” complained Rainbow after Fluttershy had pulled the trigger.

"Yeah, that's what bayonets are for," agreed Applejack.

“I just don’t want them to suffer,” the quiet pony explained.

“We have to keep going,” said Twilight. “Don’t want to let Spike beat us to the town hall.”

“Girls, you may have a problem,” reported Rarity. “There’s a fortified building along your route that appears to be filled with Shadowbolts.”

“Pinkie, do you have the target?” asked Twilight over the communicator.

“Absolutely! What kind of artillerymare would I be if I didn’t?” The pink pony bounced over to where her improvised mortar had been set up. Party Cannon had been painted on the side. Now it read ”Party” Cannon. It was a nice touch of subtlety, Pinkie thought.

After a quick calculation of ballistic trajectories, Pinkie set the cannon off. The weapon fired an explosive shell that arced from the hilltop into town, falling perfectly on the fortified building. From the rubble that was left, only a few ponies emerged. Rarity picked off the survirors. She hated to leave Pinkie’s work imperfect.

Back on the street, two Shadowbolts appeared at long range. Applejack’s spreading buckshot dusted them both with only one pull of the trigger. The group of mares raced forward. Rainbow covered the rest with automatic fire when needed. The tactic worked well—too well.

“I’m out!” cried the pegasus. “Completely!”

“Here,” called Twilight, tossing two of her revolvers to the cyan pony. Rainbow smiled with thanks and dashed off, six-shooters firing from both her hooves.

The town hall looked reasonably unguarded. Twilight stepped carefully towards the door, alert for any traps. Applejack looked around. “Where in tarnation is Spike?”

The door of the building burst open and the Nightmare Moon-appointed mayor ran out. It was a diamond dog, one of those that had survived the assault Twilight and friends had mounted to rescue Rarity when she had been taken prisoner months before. Speaking of prisoners, the dog clutched a purple dragon tightly by the throat.

“Help!” gasped Spike. As the only fireproof one of the group, his job was demolition. An improvised Molotov cocktail was clutched in his claws.

“Put down your weapons!” shouted the dog. He thought for a moment. “How do ponies manage to pull triggers with hooves, anyway?”

“We-we’d better do what he says,” whispered Fluttershy.

On the hill, Rarity watched the scene grimly. Her concentration was broken by a cold metal gun barrel pressing into the back of her head.

“Look what we have here,” said a Shadowbolt. “Too obsessive on what’s in front of you to see the big picture.”

Pinkie put the barrel of her sidearm, a chrome-plated .44 Magnum AutoMag, to the back of the stallion’s head. “This doesn’t look like your lucky day, punk.”

“Pinkie, don’t—” shouted Rarity.

Pinkie pulled the trigger. Her eyes widened in surprise, and not from the sound of the shot. “Oops. Sorry about that, Rarity. I should have realized the splatter would get all over you.”

The unicorn glared at her. “Worst. Facial. Ever.”

Down in the street, Twilight locked eyes with the diamond dog. “I’m not putting my weapons down. You put the dragon down and surrender.”

“Never!” shouted the dog. “You fillies are just a gun-toting gang.”

“Excuse me?” said the purple unicorn, offended. “We didn’t put in so much training to be just another mob. All of us have our own special talents.”

Gesturing to her friends, Twilight said, “Applejack is the element of scattershot, flexible for a concentrated blast, or spread over an area. Rainbow is the element of high volume fire, providing both suppression and offensive capability. Fluttershy is the element of the mercy kill, quieting those in agony and making sure they stay down. Rarity is the element of precision shooting, able to place a bullet exactly where it is needed. Pinkie is the element of fire support, doing what our small weapons can’t.”

“And I’m the element of backup. I always carry an extra gun.” Twilight smirked. “Or five.”

The dog cut his eyes back and forth to each of the mares in front of him. “You’re crazy.”

“No, this is crazy.” Twilight fired at the Molotov cocktail. The bottle shattered, throwing flaming liquid all over Spike and the dog.

The dragon rolled out of the way as his canine captor screamed in flaming pain. Fluttershy quietly walked over and put a bullet in his head.

“Are you okay, Spike?” asked Twilight.

“I’m on fire,” answered the little dragon, getting up. He brushed the flames off his unharmed scales. “Yeah, I’m good.”

Pinkie and Rarity came down off the hill as the noncombatant residents of Ponyville began to emerge from their homes. They stared at the grumpy unicorn who carried a rifle and the pink earth pony who was wheeling a cannon and carrying a large handgun in a shoulder holster. The two armed mares met with their friends in the center of town and huddled together for a pep talk.

“Okay, the battle of Ponyville is over,” said Twilight. She smiled. “We took back our home, but now we have to free the rest of Equestria.”

“Let’s do this!” shouted Rainbow. The rest cheered in agreement.

Twilight nodded and looked north, towards Canterlot. “We’re coming for you, Nightmare Moon.”

Target Practice

“Rainbow, could you set up another target at two thousand yards?” asked Rarity.

The multicolored pegasus sighed. “Ever since you got that new gun, I’ve been nothing but your rangemaster. I don’t know how you can even see that far.”

Rarity smiled. “Twenty-power scope, dear. These .50 BMG bullets have plenty of momentum to reach out and touch something.”

Rainbow rolled her eyes, but took off towards the end of the range with a target. She carried a FN P90 slung on her back. It was quite a bit more effective than her old submachine gun.

Upon entering the Ponyville town hall, the six mares and Spike had discovered a mountain of weapons piled up. It seemed a shame to leave them lying there, and they had quickly rearmed themselves.

“Is that all right?” Twilight asked. The unicorn was helping Spike fit fuel tanks to his back.

“I don’t know,” answered the dragon. “I’ve never used a flamethrower before.”

“Ah’m sure you’ll get the hang of it, sugarcube,” commented Applejack. The orange mare checked the AA-12 automatic shotgun she was carrying. Rainbow had jokingly referred to it as an AJ-12.

“Has anypony seen Fluttershy?” asked Twilight.

Pinkie arrived just then. “She said something about going to practice.”

“That’s not a bad idea.” The purple unicorn glanced down at her holsters, experimentally drawing her pistols. She’d replaced each of her revolvers with another kind of Colt .45 – the Model 1911A1.

Pinkie had traded her cannon for a more portable China Lake 40mm grenade launcher. Twilight noticed the earth pony carrying a new pistol in her ridiculous shoulder holster. “Pinkie, what is that?”

The pink pony drew the enormous handgun. “Deagle, dude! It’s a Magnum Research Desert Eagle chambered in .50 caliber Action Express!” She made silly faces at herself in reflection of the pistol’s shiny gold finish.

Twilight shook her head and focused on improving her shooting proficiency. The new hardware took some getting used to, but everypony was eager to learn. The faster they ousted Nightmare Moon, the better.

Canterlot

“You all know the plan,” whispered Twilight. The mares and one dragon gathered around her nodded. The unicorn smiled grimly. “Let’s get to it.”

“One thing,” said Rarity. “Could somepony help me get set up?”

“Did you have to pick such a big gun?” complained Rainbow. She begrudgingly assisted the unicorn to set up her weapon. The others dispersed, heading towards the castle in the center of the city.

After the battle of Ponyville, Nightmare Moon’s forces were on high alert. Shadowbolts, diamond dogs, and all matter of evil creatures stalked the streets of Canterlot. It was not going to be an easy fight.

After Rarity was settled, Rainbow rushed to catch up with the rest of the formation. A hail of tracer bullets erupted out of an apartment building and she did a barrel roll, returning fire. The pegasus didn’t have to worry so much about running out of ammunition, because the P90’s magazine held fifty.

Pinkie pumped the action of her grenade launcher and fired a round through an open window of the building. The entire floor blew out. There were other threats on other floors, however. Applejack shot the front door off its hinges with her shotgun. Twilight aimed her pistols inside and opened fire. She expended a couple of seven-round magazines before deciding that all hostiles had been taken down.

From her position, Rarity had been carefully putting down any threat that showed itself. She hadn’t been attacked directly yet, probably because of the lethality of her weapon. Eventually a couple of pegasus Shadowbolts made a charge at her. In an effort to be harder to hit, they swapped positions in midair as if in a living shell game. Rarity carefully timed their maneuvers until they were in a line and then fired. The single high-caliber bullet ripped through all three ponies without stopping.

In the streets, Spike hosed down an improvised bunker that had been set up. Fire poured through gaps in the bulwark, igniting several diamond dogs inside. Applejack and Twilight set up a choke point with interlocking fields of fire and took down their targets as they came pouring out to escape the flames.

With that objective down, the two mares collected Pinkie and ran to catch up to Rainbow, who was engaged in an intense firefight with a couple of Shadowbolts. They were the ones who had found sturdy cover. Others were not so lucky, and the high velocity 5.7x28mm ammunition in Rainbow’s P90 had shredded their flimsy hiding places.

Despite the heavy fire from both sides, neither could gain an advantage. Rainbow was too fast and well-armed, and her opponents were too protected.

“Watch this!” said Pinkie. She aimed her grenade launcher over the heads of the dug-in Shadowbolts and fired. Pulling her Desert Eagle, the pink pony shot the grenade as it passed over the top of the protective cover. The explosion caught the enemy combatants from behind.

Pinkie blew the smoke off the barrel of her weapon and grinned. Rainbow, Twilight, Spike, and Applejack stared at her in astonishment. Their surprise was short-lived however, as an enormous crowd of Shadowbolts, diamond dogs, and various other generic bad guys poured into the street.

The range was far too close for explosives. Pinkie brandished her sidearm and formed a circle with her friends, their backs pressed together. With enemies closing from all sides the only thing that could save them was—

Rarity sighed. She’d hoped to avoid nasty fully automatic firing. The .50 BMG machine gun in front of her bucked on its tripod as the unicorn opened fire. The heavy bullets mowed through the crowd attacking her friends. And they’d called her crazy for putting a scope on a Browning M2.

In seconds, the street was littered with bodies and parts. The fifty-caliber rounds often dismembered, it seemed.

Twilight touched her ear. “Thanks Rarity! We’re about to enter the castle now, so keep watch out here.”

Pinkie used a grenade to blow open the castle doors. Nightmare Moon’s elite guards waited inside. Fighting tooth and hoof, bullet and flame, the battle commenced.

It was certainly a good thing Twilight had six guns, otherwise she wasn’t sure she could keep firing some while reloading the others. Beside her, Applejack slapped a new drum magazine into her AA-12 and resumed shooting. Pinkie sprayed grenades and bullets with equal aplomb. Overhead, Rainbow was ducking and diving, returning more fire than she had to avoid. Spike was assisting all the mares by keeping their attackers at bay with his trusty flamethrower.

They fought their way though the castle, heading for the royal chambers. Applejack shot the lock off an important looking door and kicked it open. Inside, a tall black evil pony stood, surrounded by crates of weapons.

“Nightmare Moon!” shouted Twilight. “We’ve come to take you down!”

The black mare laughed. “You think it will be easy?”

“Well, we did just kill every single one of your guards,” said Pinkie.

“That was just entertainment,” said Nightmare Moon. “Now it’s time for the real fun!” She pulled a M249 machine gun out of one of the crates. The evil mare paused, smirking. “Or how about doubling it?” A second M249 joined the first.

Everypony squared off across the room. Hammers were cocked and actions were racked. The tension built, all of them waiting to see who would move first.

Suddenly, the door slammed open as if hit by a train. Princess Celestia stepped in carrying a M134 Minigun. The weapon’s six barrels began to spin.

In a panic, Nightmare Moon raised her guns and opened fire. Celestia met her barrage with a wall of lead of her own. Both alicorns were powerful, but only one knew how to curve bullets and make them meet others in midair.

Twilight watched in wonder as Princess Celestia shot down all of Nightmare Moon’s bullets, the Minigun easily keeping up with the fire from both M249s at once. Suddenly, the machine guns jammed and blew apart, the result of Celestia’s bullets going the wrong way down their barrels.

The explosion knocked Nightmare Moon back, a veil of blackness stripping away to reveal a blue pony underneath. The newcomer stumbled and fell, more stunned than injured. Celestia lowered her weapon, knowing this pony was no threat.

“Princess, who is that?” asked Twilight. She and her friends turned to listen attentively to the royal pony’s answer.

“It’s my sister, Luna,” explained Celestia. “A thousand years of corruption had tainted her mind, but no longer. I am sorry to have to hurt her, but she should recover.”

Celestia was interrupted by a shriek of pain. Everypony looked to where Luna lay, a bayonet protruding from her chest. A yellow pegasus stood beside her.

“Fluttershy…what did you do?” shouted Twilight.

“Oh, well, I thought about what happened in Ponyville and I decided that a knife was a much better way to deal with the wounded. It’s so much less wasteful.” Fluttershy ducked her head modestly.

She jerked her face back up in surprise as everypony in the room pointed a gun at her.