I don't remember all the details about the end.
Yes I know it's silly to think about, but you would think that you would remember the last moments of your life with near perfect quality. Well, that might be the case if you died peacefully in a bed. But as much as I wish, that wasn't what life had planed for me.
I remember it was daytime. Maybe around noon... or was it 3pm? Anyways, sun was out. I was walking with my wife and son. His birthday was just a few days ago so we decided to go on a walk and treat the five year old to some ice cream. We were walking, laughing, just haping a good time. We were never ritch, hell, even with both of us working we still lived in my parents house. But we lived life as best we could, and our little light, our son was worth every moment of stress and self depreciation. We were happy, which is more than what many people could say in our situation. Besides, how many other nerdy, poor white boys with a lisp claim to have a beautiful wife and child? And it's not like I had the looks to back it up. Baby faced if I didn't have facial hair, boring dark brown eyes, alittle overweight, the only thing about me that was good looking was my hair, long, thick and wavy. Expecially when pulled back. Honestly, I was lucky. And not many people who start fatherhood at the age of 19 can say that.
Then there was that sound. The screech of tires. I turned and... was is a truck, or a van... I'm gonna decide it was truck-kun. The truck was out of control. I remember pushing my wife to the grass before looking down at my son. In that split second I did the math. If I pushed him he wouldn't clear the truck, and he would be pushed into the road besides, leading to more danger of stupid people. If I shoved him down he would still be hit, and with no protection, he could die. So, I reacted. I sprang around him and covered him with my body as the truck connected. I don't remember the pain, but I can tell you there were lots of it. What I do remember was being sent flying in a bloody mess, cradling my treasure with all my life. I remember looking down, seeing him shaken, afraid, calling out my name, but alive, and relatively unharmed. I smiled through the pain, kissed his forehead then... I woke up here.
Where is here you might ask. That is a wonderful question I don't have the answer for. I've never been super religious. I belive there is a higher power, but I always though that every religion has a small piece of the bigger picture. After all, if everyone claims to be correct, why not believe them all, and believe none at the same time. Which I think that line of thought is why my afterlife looked this way. A way not described in any religion, save for possibly purgatory from Christianic faith.
I was falling. I felt the wind whipping around me, the rush of wind howling in my ears, yet I felt no fear. I looked around and the sky below (above?) Me was an abyss, pitch black Nothingness, a starless sky. The sound of crashing waves drew my attention towards the direction I was falling, and a sea of black swirled, crashed and danced. The whole experience was surreal, calming and terrorfying in equal measure. Yet as I fell, I cam no closer to the waves. A state of endless falling, reaching for a goal yet unobtainable. Heh, yep, that sounded like my life alright. I sighed in content. I was never afraid of death. I was afraid of being forgotten. But, I know I won't be in the eyes of those who matter. So... why be afraid of something that comes for us all? Besides, there are worse afterlife. And who knows, maybe I'll be reincarnated. Hopefully without the lisp this time, maybe even be a bit of a looker.
Requests accepted: Speech impediment chance set to 0%. 1/10
Attractiveness for chosen species set to the upper 10% bracket. 2/10
Huh. That was strange. Reincarnation huh? Each time it listed one of my requests, the waves grew closer. So, this is how it works. Though it makes me wonder about the particularities about it. And why ten choices?
Answer: This is the afterlife chosen off your beliefs. Remaining in the sky, at peace for all eternity=Heaven. Drowning in the sea below, never to die, but never to know peace=Hell. Surrendering to non-existence=falling into the abyss, wherein your soul shall be disposed and recycled for later use. Reincarnation=You fall into the sea and instead of drowning are baptized and born anew.
Answer to query 2: Due to the nature of your death, you have been granted choices in you life to be. Self Sacrifice for another's life is believed to be the ultimate redemption. So, it stands to be that when one who has nothing to redeem for does so, they are rewarded.
Huh, now this is a afterlife I can get behind. One where choice is paramount over all else. So, I get to decide my next life? Shame I can't go back. If not for this relaxing, calming aura, I would be crying that I would never see my son again. But now is not the time to morn. Now is time to decide. Hmm... well flying has always been cool. Hell, I wrote a whole short story where the main character had wings, just so I could imagine a world unbound to the ground.
Request Accepted: Target species narrowed to one who may gain flight. 3/10
Let's see here... I've always had a hard time making decisions like this, always afraid to make one I'll regret. But well, I have nothing to lose. Im already dead after all. So with that morbid thought, I threw caution to the wind. I would want to be able to use the powers of shadows. People always give those powers a bad reputation, but ask any dark souls fan and they will agree, darkness is not inherently evil. Just those who use it for evil are common. Also I wish to keep my old memories. The thought of forgetting about my little light is one I don't wish to entertain.
Request Accepted: The powers of umbra and the abyss must be compatible with target race. 4/10
The powers of umbra and the abyss will come naturally. 5/10
The memories of the past life will be passed on to the new body. 6/10
Huh, so being able to even wield them and wielding them are two different things. That's interesting to know. So, four more requests unless I make another count as two... alright. I wish to be young. Not like toddler young, but young enough where it will make sense that I don't know much about that world, even believable that I can't read if I'm illiterate to their language.
Request Accepted: Target age sent to Species childhood. 7/10
Hmm... this is getting harder and harder to think of things... though the waves getting closer ans closer might have something to do with it. Alright then, how about this. I want a life of adventure. My old life, while I love it, was plan, boring. I worked a dead end job with no spice in my life minus my son. If I have the chance to live alittle, I want it.
Request Accepted: The subject wishes to live a life of adventure. 8/10 WARNING: This puts subjects danger level into category FIVE. Safety is not guaranteed, and the possibility of early demise has increased.
Not foreboding at all. Alright, I think I have an idea for the last two. First, I wish to be able to consistently maintain a lean, strong athletic build. Of course it can get better with training but I was it to be easy to maintain and keep.
Request Accepted: Subject's body will consistently be peak athletic build. Ajusting to fit with previous request for attractiveness.... ajustment made to bracket and to subject's gender. Previous bracket not compattable due to athletic desire. 9/10
Really? Being a athletic build is bad for males for whatever race this this has picked out? Or if not unattractive, not enough to be what most would peg for. That's strange but whatever. I'm not too bothered about gender change. I swing both ways, and this way I get to have the experience of both sides of the coin. I mean, being a woman with the understanding of men? Sounds like a dream come true. But now for the last part.
I wish to be remembered. Not just by those who know me, but for generations after. My biggest fear has always been being forgotten and alone. I want it so that years and generations down the line, when my name has been forgotten to time, who I was and what I did is not. To be immortalized in legend one day. That is my final request.
Request Accepted: Subject wishes to one day be immortalized in legend. Risk of premature death decreased, but risk to safety increased. Requests complete. Subject ready for reincarnation.
And with that, whatever force was keeping me from falling more ceased. I fell, plummeting head first into the waves. I screamed as I felt it eat away at who I am, what I am, before I suddenly stopped, the pain replaced with a soothing feeling of becoming something new as the black overtook me.
So... you know how I said the pain ceased? Well, that pain ended. When I woke up the first thing I remember is pain, screaming in the voice only a child could make. Someone was cutting my back, chanting something I couldn't make out over all the pain, something about shadows, their queen of darkness, and a vessel. I tried to thrash, fight them off, but even fight or flight instincts are nothing when you are a child and I still have no clue what I am. Then, I felt it, amidst the pain there was something reaching out, offering to help, to let me escape. I remember something coming out of my eyes when I accepted, and the screams of grown men and women, then blackness again.
The next time I could think for my self I was awoken by the sound of running water. Struggling to open up my heavy eyelids, I was just to almost throw up from the massive change to my built in FOV slider. But the sky before me quelled the unease. Never once in my whole life have I seen so many stars. It was like those pictures of seeing the milky way from a beach, but ten times that, and with so many colors. I slowly sat up, my arms feeling weird but I was so captivated I didn't care. When I finally pried my eyes away from the sky I looked around. For it being night time I could see surprisingly well, everything seemingly illuminated by some form or nother. Even the shadows weren't so bad. I was in some kind of field by a lake, which explained the sound of running water. Around me was this black goo, covering the grass. Looking at it made me shiver, but the more I looked at it, the more it sunk into the ground, as if it was never there. With my immediate surroundings taken care of, it was time to look myself over. Looking down at my hands I had nothing but curiosity.
They were small, slender but more than that covered in fur. Looking over myself I indeed had a dark gunsteel grey coat of fur, the color looking almost muted. Around my arms were these faint black swirls that reminded me of a artist's rendition of smoke, faded enough that you wouldn't even notice it unless taking a close look. Moving from my hands to the rest of my body I looked no different than a young girl if you don't count the fur, wearing a simple, if tattered, skirt and blouse, both plain and looking like something a well off pesant would wear back in midevil times, though I was lacking shoes which was a problem. I then felt something on me that did not feel familiar. Looking behind me I jumped. On my back were a pair of bat wings, said wings extending with my jump. My fear turned to curiosity as I flexed the new muscle, learning how it moved before sighing. "Not now, later." I told myself before looking down. A long, beautiful tail was attached to me, the dark, almost midnight blue working into black tips in beautiful color coordination, while still being alittle wild. Now that I notice it, the little bit of hair I could seen on my head was much the same way, both the style and color. Crawling over to the lake, I looked down into it and was even more surprised staring back at my reflection was a young girl who looked like a cross between a bat, a human, and a colorful horse. My face looked like a equines, complete with a snout. My slitted eyes were a sea green, looking similar in color to the moonlight greatsword from Dark Souls, complete with a faint glow and if you looked hard enough, faint specks of light moving within my eyes. Baring my teeth showed that most of my teeth were now flat, save for canines much like a bat's or a cat's. "What the hell have I become." I said, my voice sounding melodic despite the childish tones. "What the hell is with my eyes and more importantly... where am I?"
I stood up, thankful to have been reincarnated as a biped. Relearning how to walk was not on my to do list while lost. Taking greater stock of my surroundings, I noted that the field I was in was more of a meadow, forest surrounding me on all ends. The river ran gently, and I just hope it was fresh water or this was going to be a very short life. The black stuff has long since faded into the grass, leaving me, a young girl without even shoes alone. "Its okay, it's fine. Most civilization are found nearby some body of water, including small rivers like this one. If I follow it, I'm sure to find something eventually... gods above I never thought those survival classes would ever be useful." I said to myself. I've always had the habit of talking to myself. Helps me keep my random thoughts cohesive and keeps me focused. Anyways, back on topic. I walked over to the lake, making sure to grab a branch while I'm at it. Why you ask? A club. A weapon is better than no weapon unless you've been specially trained and I have not, so need something.
I'm unsure how long I've been walking. I know it's been atleast a day, but thats all. My feat are heavy under me, every step resulting in a wince from the sharp rocks, sticks, and who knows what else. I haven't even been able to sleep, the one cave I found having already been... erm... occupied and I wasn't about to fight a cosmic bear the size of the Empire state building for a place to rest. Plus, the sun was to bright it hurt, so I could just sleep in a tree or something. So I walked. Fish were a no go for food as well, since despite the canines, I have no idea I my race can even eat those, and food poisoning is not high on my list of priorities. I winced and fell over, groaning as I tried to stand back up, gripping my thigh in the process. My outfit was in even more taters now, having ripped off most to use for bandages for my feet, and my leg after a run in with those wooden wolves. At first I thought they would act like wolves in my old world, solitary unless you are near their territory or they are hunting... only for them to make a beeline for me as soon as they saw me, hunting me for sport. I can't remember why they left me alone, just that more of that black gunk appeared when I woke back up.
I started walking again, favoring my uninjured leg as the ruin of a castle came into view. "Finally..." I sighed in relief. If there is ruins, that means civilization does exist. Making my way across the rope bridge wasn't easy, but the promise of shelter was too much to pass up. I made my way inside and towards one of the towers. Elevation means less risk of those wolves finding me again, and might even let me see above the treeline.
Once inside I was greeted by a bedroom. Somehow it survived the elements and who knows how long of neglect, the curtains around the bedframe looking as if someone ripped out the night sky and placed it into silk. I sighed happily as I limped my way over to the window and looked out, seeing a seemingly endless horizon of trees to one side, and to the other, in the distance, a break in the trees, opening to planes and even a castle on the distant mountain, though I'm not gonna question how it doesn't fall off from this distance. With a nod, a destination now in mind, I limped over to the bed and laid down. It was rough, likely due to lack of maintenance, but at that moment it was a haven. Almost as soon as my head hit that old, mildew filled pillow, I was out like a light. Though I could have sworn I saw a woman standing over me, her coat black, and wearing armor, consern in her blue, slitted eyes as I drifted to sleep.
The first thing I noticed is I wasnt in the bed anymore. Infact I wasn't anywhere I recognized. Sitting up, I looked out and saw what I can only imagine to be the world I new live on, seas of green, brown, and blue. It was beautiful. Then I looked down and noticed what the ground looked like and put two and two together. A endless plane of grey, specled with craters of all shapes and sizes, and a endless expanse of stars all around me. I was on the moon. "Finally. I was beginning to think we many never speak again, that our bond had been severed." A voice said. I turned as felt my jaw drop. Standing behind me was a tall, gorgeous woman. Black fur covered her body as her piercing, blue slitted eyes looked down at me. Her wings were feathered and yet she had a long horn. Even in armor as she was she gave me the feeling of safety, closeness, and the power that radiated off her would have made most people quake in fear. Her expression was one of care, a softness to those hardened eyes and her full lips in a soft smile.
"Who are you?" I asked, standing up only for my head to be at her midriff, such was our size difference. But my words took her expression and changed it, her eyes growing sorrowful, and her smile into the softest of frowns.
"You do not remember me?" She asked, getting on her knees and becoming eye level with me. "May I have your name young one?"
For some reason, despite being a stranger to me, I felt compelled to tell her everything I knew. She is a good person. "I... don't know. I woke up a few days ago with no idea of who I am... or even what I am."
Her frown deepened as a growl escaped her thoat, causing me to instinctively flinch. "Those bastards... Oh my poor Shatter Star." Well now I know my name. She took a deep breath before smiling at me, soothing all the fear I had felt. "Your name is Shatter Star... and you are a Thestral, one of my subjects. More than that... you were a part of a ritual. Willingly mind you. The process required a loyal subject who had yet to be touched by destiny, who had yet to receive their cutie mark. They would have become a vessel for me, allowing me to escape my imprisonment early until such a time as my body could return, where I would leave. However, the Dawn Guard, My sister's elite and most devout soldiers caught wind of it and tried to interfere. So the buffoons, instead of ending the ritual and escaping, decided to rush it. And in the process opened up your soul to the void. In truth, any sould could have possessed and taken over your body. I bless whatever star you were born under that you are... mostly intact."
That formed a pit in my stomach. Soul in the void... possessed... oh dear gods no. Nonono I did not kill a kid. "Would... would there be anyway to check? To make sure that my soul is the only one there?" I asked the tall mare, causing her to nod.
"I can... but you need to understand that in my current form, sealed as though I am, I will be unable to remove what I find, and indeed, when I am able they will be too bonded, to entrenched in your soul go be removed." Nightmare told me.
"I understand... but I still want to know." With a nod of her head I felt a power through me, causing me to twist and squirm. It felt so wrong, like someone was pearing into your mind and moving things around, looking through things that shouldn't be there. And her deepening frown did little to lift my worries.
"It seems you do have a stow away from your time open to the rift, but I am unable to tell it and yourself apart." Nightmare spoke as the pit in my stomach worsened. So I didn't kill a child, I'm only running around in their body while they have no control or choice as to what goes on or what I do. That's so much better! Not.
"Is it possible to bridge us together? Not so they can take over but so that communication is a possible feat?"
She paused, giving me a odd look. "Rather verbose vocabulary, but if there is I do not know it. It is likely hidden in one of my sisters libraries if I were to guess. But enough of this talk of the void and souls. We have not much time, and much to do." Nightmare said before turning back to me and crouching to eye level. "Tell me young Shatter Star, what is the last thing you remember."
"I... I remember pain. Then these memories that aren't mine flooding in. Then when I woke up, I was in a clearing a few days from here, this black gunk everywhere. And every time I though I was going to die, I would wake up elsewhere, that black gunk everywhere again."
If her eyes weren't focused on me already, they sure were now. "Memories not your own would be the other riding with you.as for this black gunk you say, I will look into it. As for now, time is something I have much of. Get to civilization Shatter Star. Find ponies to take you in, and grow. When it is time to train you to serve me, I will visit your dreams again." She said before she faded away, leaving me alone to my thoughts.
So... This isn't some kind of new body the voice had made for me. This was a body the voice had taken advantage of. One that fit my wishes. A child is trapped inside of me as I control them, unable to move, to cry for help, to even talk to their body snatcher. Suddenly this second chance isn't such a good one. This is no dream come true.
This is a Nightmare.
