RIP AND TEAR. UNTIL IT IS FINISHED!!
Twilight and company were chillin' in the Ponyville public park, talking about whatever you talk about when you have friends (I don't know, I've never had any), when a random pony ran past them, absolutely terrified.
"HELP, CREATURE ATTACKING PONYVILLE!!!" The pony screamed.
Applejack sighed, "Again?? This is the third time this week! It's only Tuesday!"
All of them stood up.
"I know Applejack, but we have to deal with this." Twilight said, leading her friends, plus Starlight Glimmer, who was also there, towards the end of the park. They all began to quickly notice that many loud, violent bangs were coming from the center of town. "What's that?? COME ON GIRLS!!" She took off sprinting, her friends following after her.
Meanwhile, a tall, weird green creature was firing giant metal rods at the citizens of Ponyville!! Not every blast hit someone, but then the universe would correct itself, and the targeted pony would fucking explode. Why, you say? Because Faust ain't ready to deal with the Slayer just yet, if ever.
Anyway, Twilight and her friends, plus Starlight, had finally made it, and were looking around at the death and destruction around them. Corpses of ponies were scattered everywhere, or at least what was left of them. Brains, Hearts, exactly 326 teeth, and a weird red and white ball, just sitting there. Twilight and Co. hid behind a burning building.
"Hey, guys?" Rapidash asked. "Do you hear that music?"
All of them looked at her.
"Music?" Rarity was the first to ask, before her ear flicked.
They all noticed it now, loud, intense electronic music, made to sound like heavy metal, blared in the distance.
And was getting louder.
Rarity piped up.
"Who would be playing such loud, awful musi-"
BOOM!
The wall next to them exploded, and the music seemed to be coming from right next to them.
It was the Slayer, and it had found them.
It stood there, and lifted it's weapon. The loud music paused as it held the cannon in front of it's chest, and it pumped it with a chink! Which prompted the music to blare once more, only this time it was louder.
Starlight, being the war hardened veteran that she definitely is, was the first to react, firing a massive beam of magic at the Slayer. It enveloped it, and the music swelled into a crescendo. For a whole-ass minute, Starlight fired all she had at it as her not-friends dipped, and moved out the way. Starlight's nose began to bleed, and her head began to hurt. The music calmed down immensely.
After a few more seconds, Starlight's magic had finally drained itself, and she nearly collapsed as she rubbed her head with her hoof. "I.. I think I got i-" Her head literally fucking exploded before she could finish her sentence. The music roared once more.
Twilight and her actual friends looked over at the creature, which should be dead, but was still standing, its armor smoking. It had its cannon aimed where Starlight's had once was. Twilight and the gang stared in horror, not really at the fact the Starlight just up and not alive'd, but at the fact that the thing was still fucking standing!
It stepped forward, and immediately, Retard Rainbow flew at it. "HEY! ASSHO-"
Her head also exploded with a loud BANG! and her body flew past the thing. It pumped its cannon.
Fluttershy proceeded to have an actual heart attack a Twi and the others decided to run. The Slayer guy walked forward, and loomed over the most likely dead, social anxious pegasus's body. It lifted its giant foot...
AND SLAMMED IT DOWN ON HER HEAD! The music roared as blood and brain matter splattered everywhere, and it twisted its foot, just for good measure, before continuing on its way to follow the others.
OH HEY! LOOK IT'S DISCORD!!
Yeah, he just popped in, seething with eternal rage, as he had just watched the subject of his countless fanfictions get brutally murdered by a gigantic beast in green armor. They stood across the road from one another, Discord had made himself bigger than the thing, and glared at him. The music became quiet.
"Doom Slayer.." Discord growled, his eyes glowing. He waited for the thing to respond. It didn't, and Discord continued. "I don't know why, or how you are here, but I assure you, you have just made you made your last mistake, and have murdered your final victim. Prepare to atone for your many, many crimes against the multiverse." He lifted his hand, and aimed it at Doom Guy, before shooting his closed fist forward.
Doom Man was unfazed, and simply stared as the gargantuan fist slammed into him. He moved back only a few centimetres. Discord retracted his arm, and stepped back. He knew the guy was strong, but not this strong!
Doom Boy stepped forward, and Discord expected him to shoot, and stood his ground. Instead, Doom Person threw down the massive cannon, and reached behind himself before pulling out....
THE BIG FUCKING GUN 9000!!!!
Discord stared at the thing, which was at least three times bigger than the previous weapon. A weird charging sound began to emit from it, and the vents on the thing began to glow a dangerous blue. Discord simply scoffed, not believing this simple piece of human weaponry could do so much as scratch him, the living embodiment of chaos.
Oh, the poor fool...
After a few seconds of the gun charging, Doom Sapient took aim at Discord, a ball of.. something sitting within it. Discord smirked. "Try it." He said simply.
With silent amusement, Doom Bro fired the BFG, the ball of stuff flying at Discord at a quick-ish pace,before making contact, and absorbing itself into Discord's skin. He waited for a few seconds. "HA! Is that a-"
BOOM!
Discord blew into vapor, seemingly leaving nothing behind. Doom Homie exhaled silently before storing his BFG, and picking up his Super Shotgun once more. He stroked it apologetically, soothing it after he had thrown it to the ground, and walked forward after the rest of the vile creatures he had yet to kill, his anthem blaring.
Author's Note
nigerundayo or smth idk I've never played DOOM
