Special Edition Chapter - The School of Explosions
Written by iAmSiNnEr
“So this is the School of Explosions?” Luna peered down the hallway of the expansive building. “Seems quiet for a school that advocates explosions.”
“The walls are all soundproof and explosion-proof,” Twilight explained. “I’ll need to introduce you to the ponies helping to run this place, since I’m making you the new Headmare.”
“Of course,” Luna nodded. “Since you’re going to be the new ruler of Equestria and all…”
“Ugh,” Twilight grumbled. “Don’t get me started. First of all, Celestia guilt-tripped me into it. Next, she guilt-tripped me again to not blow anything up again. Or, at the very least, anycreature. Then she got Fluttershy to convince Discord to hide my stash of dynamite. I can procure more, but my stash was all self-made. Still don’t know what she did with it.”
“That sucks, yeah,” Luna winced sympathetically, looking at the labels on the doors. “If I can help with anything…”
“Nah,” Twilight shrugged. “Enjoy your retirement. I’ll link Silver Shores to this place if anything crops up for you to handle it personally. Even I don’t do much, my teachers do everything for me.”
“Who’s on the staff list?” Luna asked, interested.
“We’ve got Trixie,” Twilight listed. “Discord, Zecora, the Cutie Mark Crusaders-”
“Aren’t they a little too young for this?” Luna raised an eyebrow.
“Pft,” Twilight snickered. “They may or may not have proved themselves to me by blowing up Trixie’s cart with her own fireworks while trying to steal the fireworks. Let me tell you, the event after was spectacular. Talking about Trixie, here’s her classroom.” Twilight pushed the door open a little. “Look in, if you like.”
Trixie’s voice floated out of the classroom as Luna peered in. “So, class, did you get what Trixie said about fireworks?”
“Yes, miss,” A colt by the side said. “But I don’t understand what you meant about gunpowder and trajectory.”
“Ah,” Trixie grinned and pushed up the brim of her hat. “See, class, fireworks have a certain art to them. If you want the biggest explosion, you gotta apply science and magic. You would require a definite amount of gunpowder to produce enough sparks, and the angle to get the firework as high as it can go.”
“What’s the angle, Miss Trixie?” Luna called out, poking her head in. The class went still at the sight of the alicorn, all staring at her in surprise and awe. “Oh, don’t do that. I’m no longer a princess. Twilight here is your ruler now.” Twilight huffed silently at that.
“Well, Headmare Luna,” Trixie smirked at the gasps of the students. “Yes, she is becoming our headmare. The angle needed to carry the firework as far as you can depends on the weight and moment you are using. But Trixie suggests seventy-four degrees from the direction you’re aiming it at. Ninety degrees never work. Trixie can attest to her hundreds of field tests. Especially if the fireworks carry over sixteen grams of gunpowder.”
Luna raised her eyebrow, impressed. “You’ve certainly done your research, Miss Trixie. I would like to pay you a visit later to get one or two of your firework formulas. I’ve heard so many good things about the ones on sale, I can’t wait to see the ones you keep away.”
“Trixie doesn’t hide any of her formulas-” Trixie protested.
“Yes, you do, Trixie!” Twilight grinned. “What about S-924, eh?”
“Fine,” Trixie huffed. “Anyways, can Trixie get on with her class? We have sixteen minutes left for Trixie to explain the correct procedures to launch a firework.”
“Of course, Miss Trixie,” Luna inclined her head and began to close the door. “Carry on.”
“I like her, Twilight,” Luna said as they continued down the hallway. “Brash and proud, but definitely knows her stuff. I’d say she reminds me of my younger years.”
“Please,” Twilight snorted. “She talks about herself in the third person. She’s nothing like you. She’s also stuck-up, but we came to an understanding. We’re friends now, even if we keep attempting to blow each other up outside of school hours. Friends with benefits, if you understand that term.”
“Celestia used to talk of herself in the third person,” Luna informed Twilight, smirking. “She used to go, ‘The mighty Celestia conquered you, foul villain! What hath you to say?’. It was a hilarious few years when she went through that phase.”
“Did she really?” Twilight laughed, the sound carrying through the air. “Anyways, this is Zecora’s. Mind you, she speaks in rhymes most of the time. The only time when she doesn’t is when she’s drunk and really smashed. She still rhymes then, but with the first word. It’s quite endearing, honestly.”
“Rhymes?” Luna raised an eyebrow. “Am I right to assume she’s a Zebrican Shaman?”
“How’d you know that?” Twilight asked, surprised.
“I once visited the Zebrican homeland, many centuries before my fall,” Luna explained. “They were a pleasant bunch, very welcoming. Their shamans had a habit of talking in rhymes. Although, after my return from the moon, I paid them another visit in disguise. Their shamans had died off, and no one continued the trade. Until now, it seems. I shall have to ask her a few questions in her free time.”
“Want a look?” Twilight offered.
“I would love to, Twilight,” Luna beamed. “I’m going to be the Headmare, anyways. Might as well take a peek into what’s going on.”
Twilight pushed open the door a little, letting Luna take a peek. Inside, fumes filled the air, and liquids bubbled in clear glass beakers. Although, there were a few giant metal vats that lined the room, the more dangerous liquids in them. The students seemed to be concentrating on mixing their concoctions, and every so often a beaker exploded in their face, only for the shield spell on their protective glasses to repel the glass and liquid.
“Looks like they’re busy,” Luna murmured as she watched Zecora rush over to the student whose beaker had exploded. “Best not disturb them.”
“I agree,” Twilight said as the door closed. “Their class still has another seventy-four minutes. You can look for Zecora, then.”
“What do they even do in her class?” Luna wondered.
“Find the most explosive potions that can be created, and mix them together,” Twilight explained cheerfully. “I’ve enchanted the school’s lab coats and protective glasses to have shield spells on them, so the students should be safe. We’ve only had three melted tables so far, and around nine hundred exploded beakers. Or maybe more. Some of the students just repair them with their own magic.” Twilight blinked suddenly.
“What is it, Twilight?” Luna asked in concern.
“I’m late!” Twilight yelped as a teleportation spell built on her horn. “I gotta attend this meeting with Fleur De Lis to arrange my wardrobe with Rarity! Oh, I’m such a muddlehead-” At that, the lavender alicorn winked from existence.
“Oh, sure,” Luna shrugged. “Guess I’ll have to find another tour guide for the school.” A pop sound could be heard behind her, and she could now hear someone guzzling at some drink. “Oh, not you…”
“Oh, yes, very much me, dear Luna,” Discord’s voice filled the air. “After all, I helped build this place. Shall we go, mademoiselle?”
Luna sighed. “Fine. Remember that I’m your Headmare, please.”
“Oh,” Discord chuckled. “I wouldn’t dream of forgetting that…” With a snap of his fingers, the two were gone.
Author's Note
relocated from Twilight's Final Salvo
Hiring Discord Was a Bad Idea
The School of Explosions
By iAmSiNnEr
Hiring Discord Was a Bad Idea
September 21st, 1 AT(After Twilight)
“What’s the issue?” Luna stepped out of the portal, following Pinkie Pie.
“Somehow one of Zecora’s students managed to turn one of Discord’s contraptions into a recurring infinite explosion creating doohickey!” Pinkie chirped, bouncing along the corridor. “Discord’s nowhere to be found, and Twilight is holding off the EAA for this. So we had no choice but to interrupt your retirement, Headmare Luna!”
Luna let out a sigh. Two months ago, Twilight had been coronated the ruler of Equestria, which meant that she didn’t have the time to run the school she had built together with the Lord of Chaos anymore. Therefore, Twilight had nominated her, the previous ruler of Equestria, to become the newest Headmare. Luna knew Twilight’s reasons - Discord was too unpredictable, and Luna was the only one with actual authority and power to keep the chaos that was the school in check.
“What’s the situation now?” Luna asked. “Anypony hurt?”
“None!” Pinkie grinned. “But the problem is that since Twilight built the walls to be this powerful and strong, the doohickey trapped the class’s only way out of the room! We can’t break in, the windows melted from an earlier incident with lava, plus we have several of her magic wards buckling under the pressure. I have it from good authority from Trixie that if it continues to explode, the entire wing will collapse eventually.”
“So you needed me,” Luna surmised. “Somepony with powerful enough magic to stop this doohickey.”
“We’d ask for Discord,” Pinkie shrugged. “But according to his last postcard, he’s on vacation with Fluttershy in some other universe. Something about dino-what-you-call-them-saurs and parks? Dunno what that was about.”
Luna facehoofed. When Twilight befriended Discord, Luna had been hesitant of the draconequus. The Lord of Chaos had proven to be a steadfast friend, however, protecting Fluttershy from everything the world threw at her. Equestria, however, was another question. Discord normally disappeared whenever situations like these arose, clearly not wanting to expend any effort to solve the problem.
“Where are we on tracking him down?” Luna strode down the staircase, proceeding to the second level where the potion classroom was located.
“Angel pointed Rarity to the Sanctuary, the bear got us into the Everfree Forest, and Steven showed us an open portal under the lagoon,” Pinkie beamed as she bounced down the stairs. “We sent Trixie in, but she came out, like, ten seconds later, screaming at the top of her lungs. She even forgot to speak in the third person for a full ten minutes.”
They had arrived at the class, and Luna now saw the problem. Some weird contraption was blocking the doorway, exploding every few seconds and then reforming back using some sort of magic. Every three or four explosions, it shot out some green liquid, forcing the ponies and creatures inside to duck away. Already, from what Luna could see, the floor was steaming in several places, even as Twilight’s spells reinforced the marble.
“Headmare,” Trixie greeted. “Trixie has used all of her most powerful spells already. Trixie even set off six of my patented Trixie’s Huge and Magnificent Powerful Explosion Worthy Fireworks™, and all they did was cause it to explode again before it reformed again. What even is that thing made of?!”
“Chaos magic,” Luna answered as she raked her gaze over the machine. “Have you ascertained what caused the thing to go berserk?"
"Zecora got a message to Trixie," The showmare took off her hat and stuck her hoof deep in it. Luna raised an eyebrow, causing Trixie to smile sheepishly. "Illegal space expansion spell, Trixie knows, but Twilight got me a slip allowing Trixie carte blanche for class D spells. Anyways, Zecora sent Trixie a message through the teacher's system and she says," Trixie pulled out a slip of paper. "Eighteen grams of lithium and a spark of magic."
Luna groaned inwardly. "Lithium is highly reactive to water. No wonder it can continuously explode. Discord's magic is only putting it back together."
"I have a suggestion!" Pinkie chirped. "Why not evacuate the students first? Twilight has wards to stop portals from opening in the class, but Princess, oops, sorry, Headmare Luna, you're an alicorn! You could try to force your way past Twilight's wards for now."
Luna nodded. "That could work. The students' safety must come first. Stand back!" Her horn lit up, blue and black magic swirling around in a vortex until it started visibly shaking and making crackling noises. "Almost...there!" Luna grunted, fighting against Twilight's wards. With a pop, the wards gave in, and past the machine, a portal opened in the classroom, eliciting a cheer from the students inside as they quickly used it to exit the classroom.
"That was a job well done," Zecora commented as she stepped through the portal last. "I hope Twilight is not getting her hair up in a bun?"
"Twilight will be fine," Discord suddenly was there, grinning. "She managed to threaten and coerce her way into making the EAA forget about this incident. Besides, my test for the new headmare went pretty well, don't you think?"
"Discord!" Luna exclaimed indignantly. "That was a test?!"
"Course," Discord smiled slyly. "Every new staff member requires a test from me in a situation so that I can see how well they respond to it. Don't worry, it was completely safe." He tapped a claw on the machine, making it deactivate. He popped open a hatch, making green liquid slosh out onto the ground. Luna peered at it.
"Is that...slime?"
"Yep!" Pinkie bounced over. "That's slime, all right!"
"It was just a simple illusion to make it look like it was melting the floor," Trixie surmised. "Trixie doesn't have the energy for this. Zecora, you up for a drink at the bar?"
"I am indeed, for liquor substances I need," Zecora answered. "Come, we shall make haste, before our Headmare turns him into paste." With that, the zebra and showmare hurried away, proceeding down the hallway and turning the corner.
"To be fair, the test was fine," Discord defended himself. "No one was hurt!"
Luna facehoofed. "But somecreature could have been," she forced out through gritted teeth.
"Anddd done!" Pinkie suddenly announced. "I've sent a report to Twilight about the situation. She knows that it's been solved and the whole test thingy."
"Wait," Discord paled. "You told Twilight?"
"Yep!"
"Oh," Discord's body turned a shade of gray. "Three...two...one…" There was a pop sound, and a lavender alicorn materialized. With a flick of her horn, Discord exploded into slime.
Author's Note
And there we go! The first chapter of a short story series. Stay tuned for more! Leave suggestions below as to what you would like to see in the next few chapters, timeline is from anywhen after Tirek explosion to after "Twilight's Final Salvo."
The School of Explosions
By iAmSiNnEr
…oops?
June 9th, 1004 AN(After Nightmare)
Zecora stared at the fizzling broken half of the beaker that a student just broke.
“I’m sorry Miss Zecora,” the student babbled. “I know this potion has never been brewed since the Discordant era, and I promise I won’t make the same mistake again - but this we have to at all haste contain-” the earth pony frowned.
“Why are you speaking in rhyme?” a griffon stared at him. “Whatever, we have little time-” the griffon blinked.
“Discord’s magic works in strange ways,” Zecora explained. “As complicated as a maze. The magic must have made all your sayings rhyme, and this is as hilarious as a mime.”
“...can we get Princess Twilight now?” The earth pony asked.
“She’s already traveling here,” Zecora nodded. “This was no mere mistake I fear.”
“Enjoying the effects?” Discord popped his head out of a portal. “I felt a wave of chaos magic flood through here-” he stared. “Oh come on, not a single physical transformation? Just rhyming? Boooring-” he groaned as he broke off mid-sentence. “Why did you tell her? This is turning out to be a weekly thing now.”
“Just tell her you didn’t cause it,” Zecora offered. “The benefit of doubt she might befit.”
“...unlikely,” Discord muttered. “Three…two…one…”
A lavender alicorn teleported into the room, before promptly yeeting a potion at Discord and casting a spell on the classroom at the same time. “ENJOY!” Twilight yelled, before teleporting away again.
“What was that potion?” Discord blinked in surprise. “I’m not sure of the exact notion- OH COME ON!”
The class broke out in laughter.
