L’arbe du noir en la fôret

Lil’ Cheese laid on their bedroom floor, surrounded by the clutter of week-old beer cans, bags and cans of food, and an empty bottle of vodka lying right next to them.

They had just awoken to another sunny morning, birds chirping, squirrels chittering, and the breeze gently blowing against the window.

It was another terrible day.

As their alarm clock buzzed, Lil’ Cheese took their pillow and hid their head under it.

“Fikaj tranĉiloj (Fucking knives),” they muttered under their breath.

They eventually looked at their alarm clock to check the time. 8 o’clock sharp., It was officially one week since the twenty-four-year-old left his town house, not once leaving to see their friends, family, or boyfriend. One week in the same clothes, one week of only drinking the devil’s nectar, one week of eating very little, one week with no human contact. Stuck in their dimly lit room smelling of rotten garbage, breath reminiscent of a skunk’s anus, only to be masked by the ripe leaves of the earth, nicotine.

“Kie ği estas? (Where is it?)” they mumbled as they moved their hand across the floor looking for their pack of cigarettes.

When they found it a sliver of joy surged through their body but was quickly replaced by an overwhelming sense of disappointment when they saw there was only one left. Lil’ Cheese sighed as it had dawned on them that it was today was the day they had to leave their shelter and merge with the crowd. This scared them greatly, as people will be asking them where they have been, how are they doing, why do they look so skinny, pale, their puffy hair now straight, and the burn marks on their arms. Lil’ Cheese breathing became shallow and their body ached, the painful realization of being in public terrified them. How could they explain this emotional turmoil they faced? How could they explain the self-abuse they inflicted upon themself as punishment for not being able to protect their friend from being another statistic of a mad loon that got their kicks off from killing kids.

Years of therapy, family support, and friends’ reassurance of it not being their fault, once worked but now rearing its ugly head back again. Despite the serial killer being caught and murdered in prison, Lil’ Cheese never felt any closure. Times when the black mass engulfed Lil’ Cheese became increasingly more common. Months, weeks, and days became harder to navigate. The knives would stab at their brain at the most inopportune times, causing them to become reclusive. Lil’ Cheese never forgave themself for not saving their friend, and often wished that they were killed instead. Perhaps that’s why they remain at home, hoping that one day they would be weak enough to leave and wait for the man in black to liberate them from this world.

*BZZZT* *BZZZT* *BZZZT*

As Lil’ Cheese lit up their last cigarette, they were disturbed by the buzzing of their cellphone. This perplexed them, as a week of not being charged it still had enough juice, perhaps this wasn’t too surprising as they hadn’t used it.

They let the phone buzz away, until it stopped, a few minutes passed, and their phone beeped, someone had left a message. Lil sighed and reached for their phone, it was the third message from their parents, and thirteenth overall. They sighed once again and decided to listen to them, might as well since they had to make the trek to the outside world.

*First Message, time 14:34, 2nd of June, XXXX, caller, Bran* “Hej, Frato, kie vi estas? Gronw diras ke li kaj la alliaj estas pretaj surbendigi la venontan kanton. Revoku kiel eble plej baldaŭ. (Hey, bro, where are you? Gronw says that he and the others are ready to record the next song. Call back as soon as you can.)”

*Second Message, time 20:02, 2nd of June, XXXX, caller, Big Sugar* “Kuzo, ĉu vi estas en ordo? Bran kaj la alliaj vokis min por vidi ĉu vi estas kun mi, kiam mi diris al ili ke ne, ili sciigis min, kevi ne montris., Se vi fartas bone, bonvolu telefoni reen. Via kuzo, Big Sugar Apple. (Hey cuz, are you alright? Bran and the others called me to see if you were with me when I told them no, they let me know that you hadn’t showed. If you are fine, feel free to call back. Your cousin, Big Sugar Apple.)”

*Third message, time 20:06, 2nd of June, XXXX, caller, Arber “Igneous” Briar-Pie* “Ho, Lil, ĉu vi estas en ordo? Gronw jus vokis kaj demandis ĉu mi vidis vin, li diris al mi, ke Bran nomas Big Sugar, kaj li decides voki min kaj Alex. Ni zorgas pri vi, bonvolu telefoni reen. (Yo, Lil, are you ok? Gronw just called and asked if I had seen you, he told me Bran is calling Big Sugar, and that he decided to call me and Alex. We are worried about you, please call back.)”

*Fourth message, time 8:30, 3rd of June, XXXX, caller, Ulnar “Funny” Bone* “Cheesie, ĉu vi estas tie? Bonvolu preni, ĉi tiu via koramiko, Funny, ni zorgas pri vi, bonvolu preni (Cheesie, are you there? Please pick up, this is your boyfriend, Funny. We are worried about you, please pick up.)

*Fifth message, time 12:30, 3rd of June, XXXX, caller, Mom* “Kara, ĉu vi estas en ordo? Viaj amikoj kaj koramiko vokis CHEESE kaj mi, kaj ni volas scii ĉu ĉio estas en ordo. Se vi havas problemojn, vi ĉiam povas diri al ni, via patro kaj mi amas vin. (Honey, are you ok? Your friends and boyfriend called Cheese and I, and we want to know if everything is fine. If you have any issues, you can always tell us. Your father and I love you.)”

*Sixth message, time 14:20, 3rd of June, XXXX, caller, Aunt Marble* “Lil, ĉu vi estas en ordo? Pinkie diris al mi kiel neniu aŭdis de vi ekde lundo. Ni zorgas pri vi, vi scias, ke vi povas diri al mi ion ajn, se io ĝenas vin, ni estas familio, kaj mi amas vin. (Lil, are you ok? Pinkie told me how no one has heard from you since Monday. We are worried about you, you know you can tell me anything if there is something bothering you, we are family, and I love you.)”

*Seventh message, time, 1:30, 4th of June, XXXX, caller, Gronw* “Hej viro, ĉi tiu merdo ne estas amuza, bonvolu preni, vi maltrankviligas nin. Bonvolu diri al mi, ke tio estas nur malhela ŝerco! Bonvolu esti en ordo! (Hey man, this shit isn't funny, please pick up, you have us worried sick. Please tell me this is just some dark joke! Please be alright!)”

*Eighth message, time, 14:55, 4th of June, XXXX, caller, Dad* “Hej amiko, jam pasis kelkaj tagoj, via patrino kaj mi maltrankviliĝas pri vi. Ni sopiras vin Lil, via panjo, Lime, Marble, Maud, ĉiuj el ni, ni volas revidi vin. (Hey buddy, it's been a couple days now, your mother and I are worried about you. We miss you Lil, your mom, Lime, Marble, Maud, all of us, we want to see you again.)”

*Ninth message, 7:55, 5th of June, XXXX, caller, Limestone* “Hej, Lil-monstro, estas via onklino, LIME, kie vi estas viro? Ni estas maltrankvilaj malsanaj pri vi. Ni iris al via domo, kaj laŭ tio, kion diris via mastro, vi ne forlasis vian domon de kelkaj tagoj. Ni scias, ke vi ne mortis de kiam li vizitis vin du tagojn antaŭe, do bonvolu, kiam vi estos preta, voki iun el ni reen. (Hey, Lil monster, it’s your aunt, LIME, where are ya man? We are worried sick about you. We went to your house, and from what your landlord said, you haven't left your house in a few days. We know that you aren't dead since he visited you two days back, so please, when you are ready, call anyone one of us back.)”

*Tenth Message, 17:32, 6th of June, XXXX, caller, Bran* “Aŭskultu, Lil, se vi volas... vi povas foriri, ni ne devigas vin resti. Revoku kiam vi povas. (Listen, Lil, if you want... you can leave, we aren't forcing you to stay. Call back when you can.)”

*Eleventh Message, 8:02, 7th of June, XXXX, caller, Beryl Briar-Pie* “Saluton, Lil, pasis proksimume tri... teknike ankoraŭ du monatoj- sed tio estas krom la afero, mi vere maltrankviliĝas pri vi. Igneous plenigis min pri la detaloj, Panjo, teknike via onklino, estis vere maltrankvila, pli ol kutime, ŝi provas kaŝi ĝin, sed ni povas diri ke ŝi estas maltrankvila. (Hello, Lil, it’s been about three... technically still two months, but that is beside the point, I am getting really worried about you. Igneous filled me in on the details, Mom, technically your aunt, has been down, more than usual, she tries to hide it, but we can tell she is worried.)”

*Twelfth message, 19:10, 7th of June, XXXX, caller, Arber “Igneous” Briar-Pie* “Do mi scias, ke mia frato vokis pli frue, kaj mi estas elironta al mia deĵoro, sed antaŭ ol mi foriros, mi nur volas ke vi sciu. Vi estas pli ol nur kuzo por ni, vi estas nia gefrato, kaj ni tre amas vin, kaj ni zorgas pri vi. (So, I know my brother called earlier, and I am about to head out to my shift, but before I go, I just want you to know. You are more than just a cousin to us, you are our sibling, and we love you very much, and we care for you.)”

The last message was upon them, as the somber prose filled the air through choked sobs of a distraught mother.

*Thirteenth message, 8:03, 8th of June, XXXX, caller, Mom* “Mia fromaĝeto... M-m-mi sopiras vin... Via patro kaj mi amas vin, vi estas la energio, kiu tenas nin brulantaj, ekde la tago de kiam vi naskiĝis, via patro kaj mi havas la benon pasigi ĉiun tagon kun vi. ... Vi estas la kialo, kial mi ellitiĝis matene, vi estis unu el la multaj kialoj, kial avino Cloudy, kaj avo Igneous trapasis iliajn malsanojn! Vi atingis tiom multe, eĉ se via patro kaj mi ne ricevas la tutan bandon "Black Metal", aŭ kial vi ŝatas kanti pri muziko pri milito kaj nun malĝojo lastatempe, sed ni subtenas vin! Vi havas multe pli por atingi, mi scias tion ĉar vi diris al mi! Vi fierigas nin! Mi amas vin! Ni amas vin! Via koramiko amas vin! Via bando amas vin! Via familio amas vin! Bonvolu preni. bonvolu. (My little cheesie... I-I-I miss you... Your father and I love you; you are the energy that keeps us burning, ever since the day you were born, your father and I have had the blessing to spend everyday with you... You are the reason why I got up in the morning, you were one of the many reasons why Grandma Cloudy, and Grandpa Igneous powered through their ailments! You have achieved so much, even if your father and I don't get the whole "Black Metal" band, or why you like singing about music about war and now sadness recently, but we support you! You have so much more to achieve, I know that because you told me! You make us proud! I love you! We love you! Your boyfriend loves you! Your band loves you! Your family loves you! Please, pick up. please.)

*Beep, end of messages*

With that ended the series of messages, Lil gripped their phone tightly, salty falls streamed from their eyes. They slowly got up and looked at their cell phone. With a punch of a key, the surge of electricity traveled throughout the device connecting the young lad with the first person whose soul was the first one to ever connect when they were breathed the gift of life.

“Saluton? (Hello)” said a trembling voice.

“MaMa.” They said chokingly in a hushed tone.

“Mia fromaĝo!”

Author's Note

So my inspiration came from this song Apati - Morgondagen - YouTube This does not take place in the Blackened days fanfic, but an idea I've been toying around with. For those of you whom don't know I have A03 account where i don't write stuff related to MLP (A03 https://archiveofourown.org/users/Imaginative_man69) where I wrote an alternate history thing with a bunch of random characters. I have had two more ideas for series I want to work on, but a story related to this I want to write about bio doc about Lil' Cheese joining a black metal band. This of course would be different than the blackened days fic, and take place in an alternate history version of equestria. I'll let you know if I write it.

Notes

1. Lil' Cheese was born male, but identifies as non-binary.
   
2. In this planned fic I am thinking of, they will speak an offshoot of Welsh, but since I am not familiar with making up language is, I have them speaking Esperanto.
   
3. Lil' Cheese does commit self-mutilation, but more than just depressive inspiration.
   
4. He has a trauma of being a kidnap victim and seeing is friend being killed.
   
5. I write the fic for this, all will be explained.
   
6. I am currently high when writing this, and its been hard keeping up with this description.