Fallout Equestria: Wasteland Guardian

Purple, Rocky, Paladin Sapphire, Critical, Starry, and Honey Cake were in a swamp.

Rocky Road quickly pointed out that it stinks badly and like normal blamed Paladin Sapphire for it.

"Rocky. Knock it off," said Purple. "It's Hydrogen Sulfide. It comes from sulfur springs, swamps, and salt marshes. Not from ponies."

Everyone else replied, "What? What's that?"

Purple replied, "Hydrogen Sulfide. It's a hydride gas and is poisonous, corrosive, and flammable but has a foul odor of rotten eggs. It's not from Paladin Sapphire."

They heard some feral noises from ferals that were white with black stripes or black with white stripes. They weren't Pony feral ghouls but Zebra feral ghouls still in their military uniforms not in their stealth cloaks.

"What are we going to do, Lavender?" asked Paladin Sapphire.

Critical replied, "Who's Lavender?"

Purple replied, "That's my first name. My real name is Lavender Purple Painting Silver Canvas Serenity Artist Astrology. I don't care if you call me Lavender Astrology, Purple Artist, or Serenity. But I shortened it to what I liked. I prefer Purple though but I don't care. Just don't call me Base 2.0 if you like your heart beating."

They shot the ferals which weren't a lot of them. Then they went on their way and found a two-story building with a thatching roof.

"Creepy," said Purple. "But better than walking in a swamp."

Honey Cake replied, "Come on Laffy Taffy. Better than standing out here."

Purple replied, "Oh you're just asking for it, Honey Cake."

***

Inside of the building.

They searched the building for a radio but didn't find one.

"Hey look a body," said Critical.

Purple came over and looked up.

"Looks like an old Equestrian Special Ops soldier," said Purple. "Probably a mare or a stallion if not a trans or non-binary."

Critical replied, "Purple? Why did you shorten your name?"

Purple replied, "Say 'Lavender Purple Painting Silver Canvas Serenity Artist' then say 'Lavender' or 'Purple' and see which one is shorter. Honestly, I don't care. But don't call me by my long name and do not call me after my brother's name."

Honey Cake and Lavender/Purple walked off to a hut called 'Comm hut' and stayed on the dock to it thinking there were alligators or something in it.

"Hey Purple?" said Honey Cake, "Out of curiosity. Why did you shorten your name?"

Purple replied, "Because I felt like it. Also, there was a soldier during the war, a purple unicorn named Purple Masonary, and another soldier, a pegasus named Hazel Artist. My parents named me after both. And I shortened my name to those two. They struck with speed and courage and hit the Zebra's where it hurt. But I don't care if you call me Lavender or Purple. Just don't call me 'Laffy Taffy' again."

Purple opened the communication hut doors for Honey Cake and she sat on a chair and needed time to hotwire a radio. More Zebra Feral Ghouls came and Purple shot them in the head.

"Anytime Honey Cake," said Purple. "I'm not planning on being Feral food."

Honey Cake tried to call Combat Command Attack, she kept at it and finally got through. But Honey Cake didn't know their exact location beside a swamp.

They couldn't exactly find out what swamp or anything like that and with a limited amount of soldiers and Vertibucks. They would have to search the swamps across the Undiscovered/Unknown West and they don't know how long.

More ferals came and kept coming until Purple felt like he was about to get overrun until he closed the door and barricaded it but he aimed for the head.

"GO AWAY!" yelled Purple, "FUCK OFF ALREADY!"

It felt like more and more kept coming and over in the main building Rocky, Paladin Sapphire, Critical, and Starry had the same but they were more or less back to back and shot the ferals. But if they felt like they were going to be overrun all of them would gallop away.

***

In Stable 190.

Technician Fourth Grade Rainy Night was on a radio thing and heard Colonel Honey Cake's call for help.

"Alright let's get to it," said Rainy Night. She placed both of her wings in front of her, placed them on each other, and cracked them.

Rainy Night rolled the chair over to another machine and did her best to radio triangulate where the signal was coming from. The machine gave her a huge area of A and being 1400 miles away, B to C is 500 miles away, and C to A is 1500 miles away.

It'll take hours! Rainy Night thought, That's a huge area! I'll try to triangulate it down to a smaller area.

She went back to work on the machine.

"Uh. Excuse me, Rainy Night," said a mare's voice. "Don't you think you need some rest? You haven't slept in ninety-six hours. You haven't eaten in two days and haven't drank anything in fourteen hours."

Rainy Night replied, "I'm fine Mrs. Harp. You know what, I'll take some water."

Harp replied, "Alright. I'll go get you some water or Sparkle Cola. Sure you don't want something to eat?"

Rainy Night replied, "I'm fine."

Rainy Night's stomach grumbled and protested what she said to Harp.

"And your stomach disagrees," said Harp. "I'll fetch you something from the cafeteria."

Harp went on her way.

"I wonder who names their child 'Purple' after a color," said Rainy Night. "But hey no pony is perfect."

Albatross replied, "Harp and my son. His name isn't Purple Artist. It's actually Lavender Purple Painting Silver Canvas Serenity Artist. But we named him after two Equestrian soldiers during the Equestrian-Zebra war. One named Purple Masonary and another named Hazel Artist. He chose to be called 'Purple Artist.' Purple from Sergeant Major Purple 'Purp' Masonary and Staff Sergeant Hazel 'Haze' Artist. They struck fear into the Zebra's. Not adding SgtMjr Masonary was gay and Sgt Artist was bi-sexual. And SgtMjr Masonary donated his sperm and his husband knocked up an eighteen-year-old mare. Who was she? She was Overmare Sapphire Heart Love's eldest daughter. And SgtMjr Purple had a son who's Harp's and my son five-times grandpa."

Rainy Night replied, "Interesting. What's Base's real name?"

Albatross replied, "It's Arsen Base Nimrod Walnut Icey Flyer. Nimrod is a good middle name for him. I must've beaten him about eight dozen times when he mistreated or hit or abused a mare. I couldn't beat it into him to stop mistreating mares and to treat them as equals not as inferiors. Arsen does more harm than good. And well since your a mare. He'll do his damndest to jump in bed with you and just use you for his own gains and throw you aside when he's done using you and pretend you never exist. Me and Harp pretend he doesn't exist and say he isn't our son. He is a Nimrod. Want some help?"

Rainy Night replied, "He's a nuisance in the wasteland. A gigantic pain in the ass. His army only has stallions and has mares for 'special purposes.' What I mean by 'special purposes' is that he has them as midwives whatever that is, Healers, and Breeders. He probably 'sleeps' with twenty mares a day. Also sure."

Albatross sat down next to her and placed on a set of headphones and listened to the chatter. He lit up his unicorn horn and soon a number two pencil had an azure blue magical aurora and started to write anything that sounded important.

***

Back at the swamp.

Critical opened a box and found a captured Equestrian ,45 Auto Submachine gun with a thirty-round magazine and shot at the heads.

"TRICK OR TREAT MOTHERFUCKERS!" yelled Critical, "BOOM! FUCKING HEADSHOT!"

He's nuts! Rocky thought, I think he likes this way too much!

"He's taking this a little too far," Paladin Sapphire whispered. "I think Critical enjoys this."

They heard maniacal laughter and Rocky, Paladin Sapphire, and Starry looked at Critical who was laughing maniacally while shooting the .45 Auto Submachine gun and popping the Feral ghouls in the head.

***

Back at Stable 190.

Rainy Night saw the radio triangulation was smaller from A to B was now two hundred miles, B to C was now 100 miles and C to A was now two hundred and fifty miles.

"Sometimes I wonder what goes through my twin sister's head," said Rainy Night. "I wonder where she is. And what she's doing."

Albatross replied, "I'm sure she's fine. I bet she's safe and sound."

Rainy Night replied, "Yeah. But me and my sister never really got along. But I worry about her and with the Grand Pegasus Enclave more or less disbanded. And I don't know where Hailing Rain is. But I hope she's safe."

Albatross replied, "I'm sure she's fine. Probably out running somewhere. Not running from danger but with a squad of soldiers or something or found a place she calls home."

Rainy Night replied, "I hope she's with a GPE squad or in the remnants of the GPE. Hope the raiders don't get her. I hope she isn't an Alicorn. Albatross? Why do you want to be called that?"

Albatross replied, "My real name is. Condor Albatross Soaring. But I've always been the type to be called Albatross even though it's my middle name. Also, what's wrong with Alicorns?"

***

In the communication hut.

"HONEY CAKE!" yelled Purple, "I NEED YOUR HELP OR WE'RE GOING TO BE FERAL FOOD! GET OFF YOUR ASS AND HELP ME!"

Honey Cake replied, "Don't have to be rude to me."

Purple replied, "And our first conversation you yelled at Rocky, Crimson, Harmony, Sunrise, that unicorn I'm not going to mention, and me. But you don't hear me bitching about it!"

Honey Cake got off of her butt and used her illegally modified Novasurge rifle and fired it, helping Purple's fruitlessly bayoneting the Feral ghouls. He's out of ammo is why he is stabbing them with the bayonet.

"Come on Lavender," said Honey Cake, "You got this."

Purple replied, "I'm out. I don't have any fucking ammo! I need your help or we're going to be feral food!"

The ferals finally broke through and Purple lit up his horn, created a shield, and shoved the ferals back into the swamp.

"COME ON HONEY CAKE!" ordered Purple, "OR STAY BEHIND AND LET THE FERALS EAT YOU!"

The two galloped back to the main building.

***

Purple stayed on the main bottom level and found a captured Equestrian air-cooled.30-06 light machine gun which only had 125 rounds in it. Purple ran upstairs and joined them.

More and more ferals came and Rocky saw Purple and Paladin Sapphire back to back.

"Those two need to get a room," said Rocky.

Paladin Sapphire replied, "What did you say?"

Rocky replied, "YOU AND PURPLE NEED A ROOM!"

They kept mowing the ferals down.

Soon it got foggier and the fog got a little bit denser. But soon there were some sounds and the ground shook for a bit.

"What the fuck was that?" asked Starry.

Rocky replied, "Probably Paladin Sapphire's fat ass breaking something."

Critical replied, "Something worse."

Soon some dogs look charred or burnt with glowing red eyes.

"TARTARUS HOUNDS!" Critical screamed at the top of his lungs, "SHOOT THE FUCKERS!"

They shot at them but they were tough and took a good ten to twenty rounds from Purple's machine gun or seven to fourteen rounds from Critical's submachine gun. But it took three to four shots from Paladin Sapphire and Colonel Honey Cake's Novasurge rifles.

They killed them and they even got hurt by the Tartarus hounds.

Due to Purple being the only medical one he patched them up starting with Paladin Sapphire first due to she being the closest and Critical being the last due to he wanted to go last.

Soon some soldiers from Combat Command Attack Honey Cake arrived.

"We've found Colonel Cake," said a Major. "Getting them ready for exfil, Alright you two fuck faces you got the clock on you."

There were two Grand Pegasus Enclave soldiers who got harnesses ready for them. But took them outside and they released a balloon.

"This should be fun," said Purple, "If not scary."

Due to all of the harnesses being attached with a rope soon heard the sound of a Vertibuck flying.

"So how does this wor..." said Purple before being cut off, "Oh shit!"

They were all snatched off the ground with Purple being in first, Critical being second, Starry being third, Paladin Sapphire being fourth, and Rocky Road being last. Not adding Rocky Road got hit by several branches on the dead trees.

I guess that's Karma for her being rude to me, Paladin Sapphire thought, You know what. I really don't care. I know the wasteland won't sugarcoat things but that's Karma. What comes around goes around.

All of them looked up and saw Purple spread his front two legs and wings out feeling the breeze.

"Bon Voyage!" yelled the GPE Major.

"See you later!" yelled Colonel Honey Cake.

***

In Stable 190.

"So?" said Albatross, "Alicorns are created by somepony named 'The Goddess' and wanted to create the ultimate race of ponies? And the Goddess had ponies captured who didn't cry or complain a lot? And had some kind of truce or something like that with an Earth pony named 'Red Eye' but she was killed by a mare with a Balefire bomb?"

Rainy Night replied, "Yup pretty much. The Goddess was a mare named Trixie Lulamoon. The Unity simply wants all ponies to join them as Alicorn drones are perfectly adapted to the wasteland and therefore immune to practically all wasteland hazards. The choice to join has to be voluntary but those who have unwilling minds. Well, it's only dire circumstances. But the problem was or is that the Artificial Drones Alicorns are all females and all of our scouts haven't seen a male one or any artificial male alicorns. Only your son Lavender is the only male one. Ponies have seen. But that doesn't stop others from shooting at him for being an alicorn. Ponies out there in the wasteland it's usually a shoot first and loot later."

Albatross replied, "Interesting, Thanks for telling me what's happening or happened in the wasteland. Thank you Ms. Night. Thank you for the information."

Rainy Night replied, "Thank you for asking me about the Wasteland Mr. Albatross. It's actually nice talking to someone who isn't a complete dick. Your kind and most stallions I've talked to are complete dicks. Like your son Arsen who is a complete cocksucker."

Albatross replied, "Yup. Like I said I beat him like ninety-six times to not be that way. But Harpy and I tried. But we couldn't get it through his head. But we tried. And he was a huge nuisance and a major pain in the ass. I feel sorry for those mares in the wasteland and I feel sorry for those wastelanders in the wasteland. Wouldn't surprise me if he already spread his genetics to keep his side of the family alive."

Rainy Night replied, "Lavender did the same. But instead of what he wants he did it to help others."

Harp replied, "That's my Lavender I mean Purple. He always does good even if he doesn't get anything in return."