The Unstoppable Moron

Chapters

Introduction
Reunion
Reacquaintances on both sides
A Jumpy Rifleman and His Alicorn Friend.
We've got hostiles
And now we run!
Road trip
Klugetown, code 10-44
I hate pirates
Don't Stand There
My day has already been ruined, this just makes it worse
On edge
Black op gone wrong
We meet again...
Blood on the marble
Epilogue
The level of nonsense I deal with on a daily basis is unparaled

Introduction

Meet William, a now 20 year old closet brony with a special affinity for firearms, and weapons in general. He once been "normal" so to speak, but 4 years ago, something incredible had happened which changed his life. He was brought to Equestria and given the ability to summon nearly any piece of military hardware he so desired out of thin air, shenanigans ensued. And eventually, he was able to make it back to earth, with a promise by the royal sisters that he would eventually be able to return. Today was this day.

William looked at the bright blue portal now illuminating his collage dorm room.

"Its about damn time!" He pulled open his dresser, put on his combat fatigues, manifested an m4 into existence. And jumped into the swirling blue vortex in front of him. Completely unaware of what lay ahead of him.

Meanwhile on the Equestrian border...

The Storm king and his armada slowly approached the border between Equestria and the open sea, and the Storm king was Experimenting with his new staff, so to speak. That is, if randomly blowing up trees could be considered "Experimenting."

"Boom!" The Storm king chuckled to himself in satisfaction.

"Uh, Sir? We're approaching the Equestrian border."

"Good!" He raised his staff to the sky.

"Nothing can stop u-" A bolt of lightning struck to staff, and it lit up purple.

"OWWWW!!! Wa, Oh no. What's the staff doing?" A bolt of purple energy shot out from it, and flew off into the distance.

"That...Probably won't hit anything important." He got back to randomly blowing up trees.

Well, in one sense he was right, It didn't hit anything important, however who he hit was quite significant. That particular stray bolt happened to be an experimental version of an interdimensional teleportation spell. And it just so happened to fly into a suburban neighborhood in the sierra bevada mountain range, and hit someone's cabin on the outside of town...

Meet Joseph, or more commonly referred to as, "Joey". He had been one of Williams few trusted friends through highschool, and was, unlike William, Normal. He had no major interest in weapons, and was by no means a brony, and had no knowledge that William was one. After highschool he had gotten a scholarship in forestry, and now lived comfortably in the suburbs of Burney, California. He hadn't seen William in almost 2 years now, It wasn't that they weren't friends anymore, it was just that, like with his other friends. William had always preferred to be alone. Joey sat down on his couch and and turned on the tv, he began to daydream. All of a sudden, he heard rumbling coming from outside.

"Huh, another earthquake?" He stood up. And all of a sudden the entire room was lit up in a flash of purple light.

"Uhhhh, Where's that coming from?" A jolt of pain went through his entire body, causing him to drop to the floor.

"AHAHAHHA!!!" All of a sudden, his entire vison went white. He could feel the pain crawling his way up his back, it felt like a thousand yellowjackets stinging him all at once.

"WHATS HAPPENING!?!?!" He could fell himself being pulled downwards.

"This has to be a dream!" A blinding flash of purple filled his vision, and he blacked out.

Meanwhile back in Equestria...

When William stepped out of the other side of the portal, he found himself surrounded by darkness. He took a big breath of air in.

"Oh boy, haven't done that in a while, my head feels like it about to fall off, but its good to be back!" He rubbed his eyes.

He flipped down his set of night vission goggles and looked around. He was surrounded by thick vegetation and fog. He looked up at the sky.

"Can't see the moon. That means one of 2 things, either I'm outside of Equestria, or I'm in the Everfree forest. Given the looks of things, I'd go with the later one." He raised his rifle to his shoulder, flipped on the laser. And scanned the treeline around him, he could hear distant roars tree branches being broken, dirt being shifted, bushes rustling.

"Well, they were right, this place sure does come to life at night." He took a step forward, and froze. He could hear growling in one of the bushes near him.

"Ohhhh ####, 3 minutes into my trip and somethings already trying to kill me!? paradise my rear-Wait, why did the growling stop?" He turned to find a massive form of.. something, illuminated by his google, charging at him.

"AHAHAHA" He barely had time to swing his rifle around to meet the... whatever it was.

Meanwhile.

Pain, That was all Joey felt. He felt as though he had been slow boiled over a low flame.

"What happened?" He he opened his eyes to see that he was falling, fast.

"AHHHHHAHAHAH!!!" He screamed, and braced for his inevitable death. instead, he hit something cold and hard.

"Owww, what happened?" He reopened his eyes, and looked around, to find himself in a tree.

"Well, I suppose its better than the ground." He realized that he couldn't feel his fingers, or his toes for that matter.

"Oh god, I hope I still have my fingers." He raised his arm up to check, but instep of an arm, he found a dark stub.

"What?" He went to rub his eyes, with his other hand, but just like before, found a dark stub.

"Where did my hands go!?" He realized something, his entire body felt strange. He looked more closely at his arms, and noticed that they were covered in white fur. And that those stubs weren't stubs at all, they were hooves.

"Ohhhh god, please let this be a dream!" He began to pant. He tried shifting to one side, and almost fell off the edges of the branch he was perched on. He hit his head on one of the smaller branches above him but instead of the wood striking his head, he felt it hit something hard and bony.

"Owwww, what was that!?" He raised one of his new appendages to his forehead, and felt around.

"Wait, is that a horn!? No, this cant be real!" He looked down at the rest of his body, but as he did he shifted over the edge, and began to fall again.

"AHHHHH!!" He hit the ground, Hard. He felt one of his already damaged rips from hit hitting the tree crack even farther.

"AHAAHA!!" He began to cry. Just then, he felt something grab his shoulder. He looked up to see 4 glowing red eyes staring him down.

"AHAHAH, MONSTER!!" He tried to crawl away.

"Can it pony!!! Before you get us both killed!" The voice was distorted and electronic.

"Wait, what did it just call me? Leave me alone!!!" It shoved him behind a rock and put one of its appendages over his mouth.

"SHHHH!" It crouched behind the same rock and looked off into the distance.

"Wa- what are you!?" He could hear growling in the distance and the breaking of tree branches.

"Ohhh, ####ing hell, It found me. Can you run?" It got up, and grabbed him by one of his forelegs.

"Wa- What's going on!?"Joey stumbled back away from the strange glowing eyes.

"To late!!!" The growling was practically on top of them at this point, the last thing Joey heard before blacking out was what sounded like... Gunshots?"

Reunion

"Owwwww!" William awoke to find himself in a white hospital room, with a heavily bandaged shoulder.

"Wh-where the hell am I!?I'm alive? Oh thank goodness. I swear when I find the abomination that did this to me-" William kept on ranting, completely disregarding the splitting pain shooting through his shoulder.

Meanwhile...

Joey awoke and looked around.

"Heh, It was just a dream after all, no monster, no horn, no hooves, and no gunfire." He breathed out a sigh of relief, and raised his arms to rub his eyes. Only once again find a pair of hooves surrounded by white fur, staring him in the face.

"GAHHHHH!!!" He pulled away the white bed sheets to find the body of what appeared to be a...horse?"

"So, I've been turned into some kind of white horse-unicorn thing. Just great!" He looked around the room, to see find he wasn't the only one there. On the far side of the room sat a similarly sized hospital bed, on it lay a figure dressed in all black, to the it's side was a table, on it sat a black helmet, with what appeared to be night vision goggles of sorts mounted to the top, to its side lay a rifle, what kind he couldn't tell from here, he watched as the figure sat up in its bed, looked around and began yelling about revenge on the thing that had injured his arm.

"And then, once I'm done tearing of your arms I'll-" William stopped, and looked over at the bed that sat on the opposite side of the room, on it lay... a white alicorn with a dark blue mane. He remembered the forest from the night before.

"You!!!You almost got me killed!!!" Joey's ears perked up and he continued watching.

"Wait, I recognize that voice... William?"

"Hold on, Joey, is that you!?"

"William, it's is you!!! Wait, what are you doing here? And why am I a horse!?" William continued staring at Joey.

"Uh, Joey... you have wings."

"What?" He looked off to his side, and sure enough, a pair of folded white wings sat on his sides. immediately, his attitude towards his new situation changed.

"Holy ####, I HAVE WINGS!!!!" He poked one of them with his new hooves.

"This is awesome!!" William facepalmed.

"Joey, what the hell are you doing here?"

"I could ask you the same question."

"I'm supposed to be here! How did you even get here?"

"Well, I was just minding my own business siting on my couch, when a giant purple light storm like something out of the scp foundation came straight out of nowhere and hit me, I blacked out, and when I woke up, I was falling, hit a tree, found out about...this." He raised his new hooves." And then fell some more, then you found me." Last thing I remember before blacking out again was gunfire, you I take it?"

"Yep."

"So, any idea where we are?" Just then the door swung open and seven... things came trotting in, they looked a bit like him. Joey blinked.

"Am I seeing things?"

"No Joey, I see them too, they're real." The head purple one spoke up.

"Hello William, welcome back."

"Hello Twilight, mind telling me how I ended up here?" Joey looked on at the unraveling conversation with confusion." Who where these things, what were they, and most importantly why did William know their names?"

"Uh, can you please fill me in?" All seven of them turned to face Joey.

"William, who is this?" Twilight asked.

"That, is one of my friends, Joey, Joey, this is Twilight, Rainbow dash, Rarity, Fluttershy, and Applejack and... That." He pointed over at Pinke and shivered. "Oh and that, is...uh, what was her name again? Ah yes... Nurse Redheart."

"Uhhh..."

"Yes, I know, weird names, just go along with it."

"How do you know their names?"

"Well, that's a story for later."Redheart trotted over to Joey and looked over him.

"Huh, his wounds from earlier are almost gone." She looked over at his side. Her eyes widened.

"Uh...He's not a unicorn." Twilight looked over at William.

"I thought you said their weren't any ponies in your home dimension, how do you 2 seem to know each other so well?"

"Well, Joey.. tell them."

"Well, Its a long story, but somehow, I got brought, here, where ever that is, and turned into... this." He gestured to his body.

"You're... an alicorn." Responded Twilight. Joey looked at her with confusion.

"Sorry, a what now?"

"An alicorn, a hybrid of earth pony, unicorn, and pegasus?" Joey shook his head.

"What do you mean by pony?"

"Well, that's what you are, isn't it?"

"Uh...you know what, nevermind, I've got wings!" William looked over at Joey and groaned.

"Wow, way to rub it in my face." William slid to the size of his bed, and managed to stand up.

"You should thank Futtershy for finding you 2 in the forest."

"Well, thank you." She smiled in return.

"Hey Joey, you need help getting up, or do you want to stay in be a bit longer?"

"Are you kidding!?" He pulled away the rest of the covers and jumped out of bed, landing on his hind legs. He stumbled and fell to the floor.

"Need help?"

"Yes please." William began walking over to his friend, he looked over at his shoulder and winced slightly.

"Can you guys help him? I've got a wounded shoulder to deal with. "

"Ok." Nurse Redheart and Applejack helped Joey get to all fours.

"This feels, surprisingly normal." He shifted from hoof to hoof, almost falling in the process.

"Careful now, lets see if we can get you to figure out how to walk." William sat back down on his bed.

"I'm just going to kick back and watch the chaos unfold." Joey rolled his eyes.

about 15 minutes later...

After multiple failed attempts, Joey had finally figured out how to walk on his new hooves. And was now pacing around the room with a giant grin on his face.

"Great, Now, flying!" Nurse Redheart spoke up.

"Well, I think you might want to practice a bit more before you try that."

"I'll teach you, If you can keep up that is!" Rainbow dash responded.

"I can't wait!"

"Joey, Get a hold of yourself, I'm hungry." He got back up and limped towards the door.

"Now hold on there, You can't just go out in this condition!" William looked down at Redheart.

"Fine, can you at least get something for the 2 of us to eat?"

"Sure." She turned and trotted back out. Leaving William and Joey alone with the six.

"So....Joey, Whatcya been up to?"

"Well..."

Reacquaintances on both sides

Several hours later...

"Wow, your life sounds horrible compared to mine!" Joey finished off the rest of the apples that Redheart had brought in for him.

"Well, I'm the one in collage and your the one marking trees in the woods for a living."

"Fair point."

"So, you ready to head out?"

"Hell yes!"

"Well, alright then." The of them got of their beds and walked out the door, flanked by the main six on either side.

"Uh, what about your stuff?" asked Joey, gesturing back to the helmet and rifle siting on the table next to William.

"Watch." They disappeared of the table in a flash of pale blue light, and reappeared in Williams hands.

"You know what, I'm not even going to question that."

"Oh, and I should have you know, you should prepare to be jump scared soon.

"Why?"

"HI THERE, MY NAME PINKIE PIE!!!" She jumped out from one of the nearby corridors. Fortunately, William was prepared. Joey on the other hand...

"GAHAHHHHH!!!" He stumbled back. "Uh William, what do I do?"

"Just go along with what she says, it'll be over sooner."

"What do you mean by that!?"

"I've got a party for you!"

"Oh god, uhhhh... maybe later?"

"Okie dokie!" She turned and ran down the hallway towards the exit.

"Something you should know about this place, take everything literally, I'm not even joking in the slightest, it's the only way you'll stay sane."

"Thanks, I'll be sure to remember that next time I get jump scared by a pink horse!"

"Oh and, fair tip of advice, don't call them horses, in fact, don't use that word around them, its derogatory in their culture. "

"What do you mean by-oh... that makes sense." They continued walking. Until they made it to the exit. William pushed the doors aside. And the 8 of them stepped outside. Joey was speechless. As if getting thrown into a different dimension, turned into a completely different species, and learning that magic was real wasn't enough, He gazed out on Ponyville.

"Its..."

"Horrifying?"

"Amazing!"

"Joey, what the hell?"

"What, I like the town, is that to much?"

"Yes."

"So, what now?"

"Well, I've got go go off and plan something important, see you 2 later." Twilight gave a quick hoof wave, and flew off towards what appeared to be a giant crystalline castle jutting out the ground of the far side of town.

"Well, that wasn't here last time."

"We've made some improvements since you were here last time." Replied Rarity.

"So, you said you wanted to learn how to fly?" Asked Rainbow dash, nudging Joey's shoulder.

"Yes!"

"Follow me." The 2 of them trotted off towards the edge of town.

"Don't get to carried away!!!" William shouted out. He turned to face the remaining 3.

"So, if you guys don't mind, I think I'll just take a stroll around town and see how things have changed."

"Uhh, sure, just don't break anything." Said Applejack.

"Don't worry, I still remember last time." He walked off towards town square.

William looked around him, the once destroyed, bullet riddled buildings of his last visit were now repaired, he looked off into the distance towards the mountain, where, only 4 years ago he had rained lead down over the entire valley, the crater and corpse of the dragon king were gone now, replaced by a meadow.

"Well, I'm at least glad they were able to repair the damages of my last visit. 16 year old me went a little... over kill with everything." He burst out laughing at the thought of it.

"Oh, who am I kidding? there's no such thing as overkill!" He stopped laughing, and looked around, to see the town's population gazing at him, wide eyed. Murmuring to themselves.

"It's him..."

"Remember last time?"

"Why is he back?" William sighed to himself.

"They may have rebuilt their town, by they sure as hell haven't forgotten me." He ignored them, and continued leisurely strolling.

"I still haven't gotten over the bright colors everywhere, I'm going somewhere that's less of an eyesore. He turned and began walking out of town.

Meanwhile...

Joey was being taught how to fly, and he wasn't exactly good at it.

"How do I take off again?"

"You just, here, let me show you." Rainbow dash landed, and the took off again.

"Ahhh, I think I got it." He opened up his new wing, and puffed them once, flinging him into the sky. Unfortunately, while he may have figured out how to take off, actually staying in the air was a whole other matter, and he went crashing back down. Iuckily, it was only a 8 foot fall, that didn't mean that it didn't hurt though.

"Owwwww, I didn't think it would be this hard!" He complained, getting back to his hooves.

"Try again." He did, and this time, he managed to stay in the air. He looked down.

"Holy ####, I'm flying, I'm actually flying, on my own, I can wait to tell William!"

"How did you two become friends anyway?"

"Well, we met back in highschool, he we kinda the school weirdo if you know what I mean, he never liked socializing, he didn't have any friends, when he wasn't working on something, he was silently pacing back and forth in the same spot. It was honestly pretty freaky. He may seem weird at first, but once you get to know him... he's still just as weird."

"Huh." Rainbow dash didn't exactly know what to think of William, they hadn't really talked much the last time he visited. Plus, it had been 4 years, she barely remembered him.

"Anyway, can you teach me how to actually fly, not just hover?"

"Uh, sure, watch me."

Meanwhile...

William kept walking, paying no attention to were he was going, immersed in his own thoughts. And kicking a dead fragmentation grenade.

"Why did they chose now to bring me here?"

"Why is Joey here, and why is he an alicorn?"He didn't even realize where he was until he bumped into a tree.

"Huh, what happened?" He looked around. And found that he was far outside of town.

"Oh, god, must be at least a mile from Ponyville, well that's what happens when you give me a even pathway, and peace and quiet. Eh, best get back before they realize I'm gone... You know what? I'm 20, I'll walk wherever I damn please!" He continued walking, and soon found himself In a place he was all to familiar with. Fluttershy's cottage. He could hear growling coming from behind it, growling that sounded all to familiar...

"It's that thing from last night!" He manifested a Beowulf .50 caliber rifle into existence, and charged the, whatever it was.

A Jumpy Rifleman and His Alicorn Friend.

William sprinted back around Fluttershy''s cottage, rifle raised, at first he found the meadow behind her quaint little home empty, he turned to gaze at the near by treeline leading off into the forest. There he saw it. A massive manticore, about 10 feet tall, tail dripping with venom. Its hide was covered in bruises, and it appeared to be bleeding, likely the work of Williams m4 the night prior. It caught sight of William and snarled at him. He growled back.

"It's you, you're the one who put me and my friend in the hospital, you little ####!" The manticore clearly understood him, or at least what he was implying from the tone of his voice. It charged at him. But William knew better, he took aim right at the creatures head, and opened fire. The first shot went high, striking the creature on its tail, 3 rounds struck its maw, and the 2 final rounds hit smack dab in the canter of it skull, sending it crashing to the ground, dead. William kept his rife trained on the creature, walking up to it and poking it with the tip of the muzzle break so as to be absolutely sure it was dead. He chuckled to himself, pleased with his work.

"No so tough without the cover of darkness are ya now!?" He kicked its dead corpse. And turned back towards town.

"Fluttershy may have forgiven you, but I sure as hell didn't. Best not mention this to her." He began walking back.

William had just made it to the edge of town when he heard Joey's voice call out for him. He looked around, and couldn't find him.

"Up here!" William looked up to see Joey flying circles above him.

"I figured it out! This is awesome!" He did a loop in mid air.

"Good for you, now come down here, I'm hungry!" Joey flew down to William and landed several feet away from him.

"It's awesome up there, you know I've flown on airplanes before, but this is different, being able to fly under your own power, its..."

"Exhilarating?"

"Yes." William groaned.

"You know what, lets just go get something to eat, all that flying wore me out!" He turned and trotted of towards town. He watched as Rainbow dash followed him overhead

"But we just ate a few hours ag-" He looked off to see Joey already making his way into town.
"He's acting stranger than normal, but then again, I haven't seen him in 2 years, he's been turned into a completely different species, and he just learned how to fly. Eh, its probably that last thing." He hurried after them.

He followed close behind them, listening in on their conversation.

"Should I tell Joey these things are from a tv show for little girls? Nah, I'll let him have his fun. So long as he doesn't go too overboard." He followed them to what appeared to be the Equestrian version of a fast food dinner. William stepped out of the shadows and walked over to his friend.

"Oh hey William, where you been?"

"What do you mean? I've been right next to you the entire time."

"Oh, really?" Said Rainbow dash, flying down to William.

" 'Cause if I remember correctly, you weren't here before."

"That's because I didn't want you to see me."

"What?" They both raised their eyebrows.

"Nevermind, Food?" Rainbow dash landed, and the 3 of them walked inside. They found it empty.

"Where did everyypony go?" asked Rainbow dash. Studently, the window shutters went down and the lights went off.

"Ambush!" Shouted William. Joey couldn't see much, except for a few flashes of light in the darkness.

"SUPRISE!!!" The lights came back on. And Rainbow and Joey found themselves surrounded by crowd of ponies.

"Here's that party I promised you!" Pinkie jumped out of the crowd. Joey looked over at William, who had a pony in one arm, knife hovering over its neck, and an mp5 aimed at the crowd in the other. He realized he wasn't in any danger.

"Oh god, I'm sorry!" He dropped the pony and lowered his sub machine gun.

"I thought you were someone else!" The pony walked away from him without responding and joined the crowd.

"William, what was that?" The main six, and Joey collectively asked him at the same time.

"Sorry, It's just, I hate surprises, and parties, and I was on edge, not sure why."

"Ok, just, don't do it again, alright?" Asked Rainbow dash.

"Alright." William slipped his knife away into a sheath."

"Who wants cake!" William turned to see a freakishly large cake sitting in the center of the room.

"Maybe later, you got any burgers? "

"We sure do!" Said the pony behind the counter, who rushed back into the kitchen, and came out a few seconds later with a platter of food. The 3 of them sat down at one of the tables. William grabbed a glass of water.

"So, William, Joey's been telling me all about you life in highschool, I guess we aren't so different after all." She nudged his elbow. William spit out a mouthful of water and pulled his arm away in disgust.

"You told her!?"

"Well, yeah."

"Man, you have any Idea the lengths I go to to keep my life secret from the rest of society?"

"Sorry."

"Well, your apology doesn't exactly exactly help now, best just move on, try not to spill everything to the colorful horses next time, alright?"

"hehem."

"Oh, sorry guys, forgot." The waitress came trotting up with their food.

"Here you go, three hayburgers, and fries. Don't worry about paying, its on us. Besides, it's not everyday a new alicorn comes to town, or... you I suppose." She eyed William.

"Oh for the love of- that was 4 years ago!!!"

"And, do you have salt?"

"Uh, yes, I'll be right back." He looked over at Rainbow, and the rest of the six, who where devouring their burgers. Joey was poking at his skeptically.

"Uh, something looks weird about this thing."

"Try it!" Replied Rainbow.

"Well, ok." He raised the burger to his face with his hooves, and took a bite. The look on his face changed into an enormous grin and he began devouring it like the rest of them.

"MFFHFHFHHH, William, you've got to try this, its amazing!" He looked at his own burger, and took a bite, which he immediately spit out.

"GAHHH!!!!, THIS TASTES LIKE AN OLD BROOMSTICK!!!" Just then he realized why they were called "Hay burgers" To begin with.

"Uh, Joey, hate to ruin your fun, but that's hay you're eating. "

"What?" He stopped chewing for a moment, and looked down at his burger, sure enough, there was hay in it.

"You know what, I don't even care, this thing is delicious!" He kept eating.

"Note to self, ponification changes one's taste, how much, I don't know." He shoved his burger over to Joey.

"You can have the rest of this thing, hopefully the cake isn't so bad." Thankfully, it wasn't horrible, but the party, loud noises, and the general mood of the setting were starting to get to him. He took his cake, and slumped down on a bench outside in the dark.

"First day back, and I already hate it here, I miss combat. " As he finished his cake he began to think of ways to cheer himself up.

"Ahh I got it. They've got a party in there, I'll give them some fireworks!!!" He cackled, and manifested an m32 grenade launcher in existence, being sure to load it up with non lethal multi colored tracer rounds, and began firing into the sky. The partygoers came outside to watch.

"Wow, William, we're you learn how to how to do that!?" Asked Joey.

"Figured it out myself!" Replied William. He continued the show for about 5 minutes.

"Alright, I'm tired." He made his grenade launcher disappear, and turned to face the crowd.

"Alright, show over, you can go home now. To his surprise, they actually listened, and the 8 of them soon found themselves alone in the street.

"Wow, if this worlds got one thing going for it, it's short attention spans. "William looked over at them.

"Well, where can we stay for the night?"

"Uhhh, follow me." Replied Twilight. She led the 2 of them towards the enormous crystalline spire on the edge of town. As they got closer, William realized that it was a... castle?

"How the hell did you guys build that th-Oh, nevermind." She led the 2 of them inside, William was for the most part unimpressed he had the same type of architecture a thousand times before, Joey on the other hand was staring at it, jaw open.

"Its... Amazing."

"Well, best get used to it man." Twilight led them into a medium sized room on the second floor.

"One of the good things about having a massive castle, you never run out of guest rooms." The 2 of them made themselves at home as best they could.

"I'm right down the hallway if you need anything, alright?" Twilight left the room leaving William and Joey alone in the dark.

"Yes, I can't thank you enough for your hospitality Twilight." Replied Joey, slumping back into his bed.

"Wow, today was probably the best day of my life, maybe this whole pony thing isn't so bad after all, right William?" He looked over at his friend on the far side of the room to find him already asleep, clutching a scar hammer like a teddy bear.

"Well, good night." As he began to fall asleep he heard a distant scream echo out across the valley.

"That's, probably nothing. "

We've got hostiles

"Uhhh, what time is it?" Joey slumped out of bed and looked over at his nightstand.

"9:30? Hey, William, wake up!" He looked over at the bed on the far side of the room to find it empty. He looked out the open window to find William standing on the balcony, gazing out over the town below.

"Oh, good, you're up. Let's get some food."

"Alright." They left their room and walked downstairs, on the way they were greeted by Twilight.

"How'd your night go?" She asked them.

"Horrible." They both replied.

"Why?"

William went first." Well, that's an interesting question, in my dream, I was shot, stabbed, blown up, and ripped in half multiple times."

"Wouldn't that be considered a nightmare, and didn't Luna try to help?"

"She did, but as soon as one of the demons came at her with a chainsaw, she just left. Long story."

"Thats terrible!"

"Oh no, you misunderstand, I won. For me the difference between a dream and a nightmare is whether or not I'm armed." They both looked at him with mild concern. Joey spoke up.

"I don't know what happened, I fell asleep, and my wings were aching."

"Did you sleep on them?"

"Uh, I don't remember."

"Try to not lay on them for to long, I should know, I had the same problem when I got my wings."

"Thanks, we were just heading out for breakfast."

"Mind if I come with you?"

"Sure." Relied Joey, William growled in the background. The three of them headed off towards town.

About 30ish minutes later...

The 3 of them sat down in front of Pinkie's bakery with their food. William was watching as Joey devoured his donut with his hooves.

"Hey, Joey, you know, that horn isn't just for decoration, just look at Twilight." He gestured over to her, levitating her donut several feet off the ground.

"Try it."

"Ok...How?"

"That's a very good question, Twilight, Joey here wants to learn how to levitate things, teach him!!!"

"Well, alright, try and focus on the donut, imagine it floating."

"Ok..." Joey gave it a try, and sure enough, it worked, the donut lifted up off the ground.

"Hah! Yes!!!" Joey finished eating, and stood up.

"So, what now?"

"We've actually got a fair going on in Canterlot, if you guys want to come that is."

"Sure." Replied Joey, William on the other hand, was tapping his foot, thinking it over.

"Hmmm, I hate public events, but on the other hand, I have a gut felling that I should be there.

They walked off towards the edge of town, where they were greeted by the remaining 5 of the six.

"Alright, how we getting to Canterlot? Oh, nevermind. Balloon." The 8 of them boarded it and it lifted off, headed off towards mount Canterhorn.

"Interesting question, how did it get the name Canterlot in the first place?" Asked Joey. Resulting a collective "I duno." From the 6.

About 2 hours later...

The 8 of them landed in Canterlot, and the six went their separate ways, leaving William and Joey alone on the landing platform.

The journeys from Ponyville to Canterlot is an overnight trip by train, how the hell did we get here in 2 hours?" Joey looked at him with confusion.

"How do you know that?"

"Classified." Joey just nodded, he knew better than to question William on something he labeled "Classified" That would usual...badly to say the least.

"So, what do we do now?" asked Joey.

"You're an alicorn, and a friend of Twilight, who might I also mention is royalty, poke around the fair, have fun, just don't get in trouble. I'm going to go make ponies lives miserable."

"Ummmm... Ok." They headed their separate ways.

William turned and walked right out the city gates, completely ignore the guards calls to stop, he walked to the crest of Canterhorn mountain, sat down on a bench, and fell asleep.

Joey, seeing that William was gone, spread his wings and flew off into the sky, gazing down on the city below him.

"Wow, this'll never get old." Eventually, he got tired and flew back down, deciding to explore the actual fair rather than flying above it. William woke back up from his quick nap, and headed back down into the city, completely ignoring the guards call for him to stop. He found himself standing before a squad of them, blocking his path.

"Listen, I heard you loud and clear, I'll have you know that I'm a guest of the princesses, so leave me be."

"We'll need you to show us some Identification before we let you through."

"Oh for the love of- Please move over and let me though, seriously, you do not want to make me angry."

"Was that a threat sir?" They moved in on him.

" I warned you!" He raised a cattle prod in one hand, and a Glock 18 in the other, and charged at the approaching guards.

"Stop!" He turned to see Rainbow dash and Joey galloping towards him.

"No one needs to get hurt, he's our guest, that doesn't change, no matter how weird he gets." Shouted out Rainbow dash.

"Uh, sorry ma'am." The guards returned to their original positions around the gate.

"William, calm yourself, they were just doing their jobs."

"I know, I have no respect whatsoever for foreign law enforcement, don know why, I just always have. You of all people should know that." Joey gave no response, the 4 of them walked back into the city without saying another word to each other. In the city square, they found the others, who looked o be in the middle of...singing? Just then, Twilight came flying in the square. Rainbow joined her friends, William and Joey just stood there, Hands clasped over his ears in anger. He looked over at Joey, to find him singing along with the rest of them.

"Oh god, MAKE IT STOP!!!" He both shouted out. William's pleas fell on def ears.

"Fine! William raised is Glock to the sky the six stopped singing, they knew full well what was about to happen, and the rest of them followed suit.

"Please, never, ever do that again!" He turned to Joey. Face twitching from anger.

"You, listen here..." He was interrupted when he heard an explosion. He dropped to the ground out of instinct. He looked up to a massive...cake fall out of the sky and land on Twilight.

"This keeps getting weirder and weirder..." He looked up to see Pinkie, standing on what appeared to be a giant cannon that looked like It was straight form a cartoon.

"Oi, retard, yeah you, up there! I don't care what you have to say for yourself, but I do. You BELONG IN A MENTAL AS-" William was cut off when Joey poked him and gestured up at the sky. William looked up to see a massive formation of dark clouds slowly approaching Canterlot, and something was emerging from it. It looked like the bow of a ship.

"Wow, really? Hey Joey, I bet you 5 bucks they're hostile." He holstered his Glock, and swapped over to an rpg 7. Training it on the emerging airship.

And now we run!

The six looked over at William in confusion.

"Why would you kick him 5 times?" Asked Applejack.

"No, in my universe, "Buck" is slang for a type of currency we use. You know what? It's not the time to be asking questions like this, focus on the giant airship!" He gestured his rpg in its direction. It stopped before them, and began to land.

"Those are definitely not the clowns I ordered." Said Pinkie.

"Well, who knows, they still might be somewhat entertaining." William shot back.

A platform dropped down from the ship, landing on a... Balloon dog?"

"Ryan!" Cried a unicorn in the background."

"SHUT UP! NO ON- I MEAN PONY CARE'S!"

"This feels very familiar, like I've seen this somewhere before... Eh, it probably just my sanity slipping again." He watched as a shadowy figure emerged from the ship.

"Wow, went with that type of into eh? " He watched as an anthropomorphic hedgehog stumbled his way down the platform, carrying a box. He set it down on the ground, and it unfolded into what could only be described as an "Excessively large megaphone."

"Ponies of Equestria! We come on behalf of the fearsome, the powerful-"

He was cut off when William walked up to him. He unholstered his Glock, and trained it right between the Hedgehog's eyes.

"Listen here you piece of quill covered ####, I don't have time for this, so just get straight to the ####ing point so I can have a legitimate reason to stab you to death with your own claws, ok?" The Hedgehog nodded, and William walked back to his place in the crowd, keeping his rpg trained on the airship.

"We come on behalf of the storm king." A banner unfurled off the side of the airship. Various gasps and murmurs arose from the crowd, while Joey and William continued watching it unfold, trying to hold back their laughter.

"If I still had hands, I'd be flipping you off right now!" Shouted Joey.

"I'll do it for you." Raising both of his middle fingers up at the hedgehog.

"And now, put your hooves together for Commander Tempest!" Joey couldn't take it anymore, he burst out laughing.
From within the ship emerged a second figure, a purple unicorn with a broken horn.

"Tempest is it? How may we help you?" The crowd turned back to look at Celestia, Luna, and Cadence.

"Isn't it obvious? She wants revenge for... Something, is that right Miss Tempest!?" The smug look of superiority on her face faded, replaced by anger.

"I'm so glad you asked, how about we start with your complete, and total surrender?" William nudged Joey.

"You can pay me later." Twilight moved forward from the crowd.

"Hi there, Princesses of friendship here..." William looked down at her with disappointment.

"More like princess of stereotypical horse####."

"... But I know we can talk things out."

"That's it, I'm putting a stop to this crap before it escalates any further." The desert camouflage drabs and light Kevlar vest and helmet were replaced by an assortment of black Kevlar and Nomex plates, alongside a faceplate with reflective eyepieces., which he slammed down over his face. He pushed the crowd back aside and walked up to the head of the crowd, standing next to the princesses.

"Hi, resident unstoppable moron here, how about you pack up you stupid banners, and whatever army you got inside that ship of yours, and leave? Before" His Glock and rpg were replaced by an m4 with an extended 60 round magazine.

"Now."

"I'm afraid I can't do that, here's the deal ladies, I need your magic, please, or we make it difficult. For everyone!"

"Wow, thanks for including ME in your statement."

"And why should we cower before you, there's only one of you, and hundreds of us, plus, we have him!" Luna pointed over at William.

"Way to put me in the spotlight... But I think that only applies to me , the rest of your subjects are about as useful as sheep. I'm not saying that I'm your subject, I mean, I'm the subject of this conversation but-I'm getting of track again, aren't I?"

"I was hopping you'd chose difficult. William looked behind her, a swarm of monsters began to emerge from inside the ship, and addition airships began to appear above the city, seemingly out of nowhere. Additional monsters began to drop from the ships, landing across the city. His classic look of disappointment began to morph into a twisted grin.

"AH ####, ITS WORLD WORLD WAR 2 ALL OVER AGAIN!!!" He fired his rpg into nearest ship, tearing a hole in its side, more of the strange creatures emerged from within. He raised his m4 and opened fire.

"If only I had my headphones with me, I could play me some nice battle music, well... there's always next time!" He swapped over to a Beowulf .50 caliber rifle and approached Tempest. "Imma end you right here and now!" He took aim right at her broken horn, but one of those strange creatures knocked him aside, sending him crashing into a nearby tent. He got to his feet, angry as a murder hornet, and emptied his entire magazine into the storm beast which had sent him flying, sending more blue blood splattering over the walls. He heard more screams, and turned to see a glass ball, filed with green powder, flying towards the princesses, he watched as it impacted Cadence, turning her to stone. He heard Celestia say something to Luna, something about the badlands, right before she was turned to stone. Luna just managed to avoid getting torn in half by one of the monsters, she took flight, only to taking a hit from one of the green orbs, sending her crashing to the ground.

"William!" He heard Joey scream out over the commotion, He looked over to see Him and the six, surrounded by more storm beasts. He switched over to an m249, mowing down the encroaching storm beasts. He watched as Tempest jumped into the sky at a height which shouldn't have been possible, and launched an orb at Twilight, He took aim at her head, and fired. At the same time, Derpy came running right into his line of sight, right as he pulled down on the trigger. A flash of Rainbow grabbed Twilight.

"No!" The orb collided with Derpy first, turning her to stone. Fortunately, the bullet simply bounced off her. He looked back at his friend, and the six.

"Joey, run!" They were already gone. He looked around to find the storm beasts approaching him on all sides, Tempest stood in the center of them, another green orb in hoof.

"So, "Unstoppable moron", what are you going to do now?" Tempest asked him.

"Hmmm, that's a very good question, let's see... My friend is nowhere to be seen... The princesses' have been turned to stone... I'm severely outmatched... And you're acting like you actually have control over this stuation... Why don't you throw that orb of yours's at me and call it quits?" She was taken back by this, being that she had expected more of a fight, but then again, there were dozens of dead storm beasts lying around on the ground, and her flagship way badly damaged. Without hesitation, she threw it at him. He manifested a riot shield in turn, and the orb struck it, leaving William completely unharmed.

"My turn." He dropped the riot shield, and a pair of flashbangs along with it.

"See you later you piece of-" The detonated, blinding Tempest and her forces long enough for William to slip away. He ran into an alleyway. Taking one last look back at Tempest.

"I'm going to get you for that. Nopony undermines me and gets away with it, not even the princesses'." He made his way out of the city passing by columns of the storm king's army, watching as they attacked the ponies which had remained behind, all the while, he stayed silent, that is, until he came to the edge of the city, where a pair of unicorn where being attacked, he recognized them from his last visit to Equestria.

"Greystone, I can't just let them get away with that." He manifested an m14 EBR with a silencer, and crept closer to them. Taking aim at the storm beasts, he carefully put them down, one by one. Greystone, and the blue unicorn stallion she was with, watched in horror as the2 monsters which where attacking them fell dead at their hooves, she looked into a nearby patch of bushes. Out of them came a lone bipedal figure, clad in armor and holding a long, strange looking black stick. She knew who it was almost as soon as she saw him.

''William, is that you? What are you doing here?" He put his finger over his helmet faceplate.

"Shhhh, consider it payback for what you did for me the first time I met you." she gave him a dim smile, and he disappeared back into the bushes.

"Now, were the hell did Joey run off to?"

Road trip

Joey and the six turned and fled down the street, past scenes of carnage, only to be cut off by more storm beasts on bridge at the edge of the city. Twilight ignited her horn and fired a bolt of magic at the one which had blocked their path, the monster deflected it off his gauntlet, destroying the marble bridge beneath their feet , and sending all 8 of them crashing into the river below. Only to go flying of the edge of a waterfall moments later. All the while, on the other side of the city, William slipped away, using the bush's and trees for cover, making his way back down the mountain. Searching for his friend.

about an hour later...

Joey and the six pulled themselves out of the river.

"Evreypony ok?" Asked Applejack, fishing her hat out of the river.

"Do I look ok to you!?" Asked Joey in a sarcastic tone.

"Uhhh..."

"Well for starters, none of you ever bothered teaching me how to swim with hooves!"

"We just got our cupcakes handed to us by the worst party crashers ever!" Cried Pinke.

"We gotta go back there and fight!" Shouted Rainbow dash.

"Hold on , William's still back there, I agree with Rainbow, we've got to go back for him."

"You saw the size of those goons." Said Spike.

"Joey, they probably already got him. You seriously want to go back?" Asked Applejack. They all looked over at Twilight.

"What do we do Twi?" She turned back to face them.

"The Queen..."

"The what?"

"Celestia asked Luna to find the queen of the hippo's, she can't, so I have to." Joey burst out laughing from disbelief.

"What the hell are hippo's going to do!?"

"She said its somewhere south, I know you're scared. Nopony else has to go. But I have to find this queen-"

"Ok. Bye." Joey turned and began trotting away.

"Well you're not getting all the glory." Rainbow flew over to Twilight. They came over to her side. Until Joey was the only one left. He looked back at them.

"What? I was joking, of course I'll come with you." They began walking south. Rainbow heard rustling coming from a nearby bush.

"Who's there!?"

"Calm down, it's me." William emerged from the bushes, clad in a guile suit and clutching an m4 rifle in his hands. The 8 of them looked at him, momentarily confused. Joey on the other hand, recognized the antics of his friend as soon as he had emerged from the bushes.

"William!" He ran over to him.

"I thought you were dead!"

"It'll take a lot more than some ####ing monsters to get rid of me. Y'all going somewhere?"

"We're going south, to find the queen of the hippos!" Pinkie shouted out.

"Hippos?"

"Yes."

"Hippos, did I hear that correctly?"

"Yes William, you did."

"Well...This world gets stranger every day. Eh, I can complain later. We go south!" He switched back over to his regular fatigues, and began walking down the dirt road. The rest of them just shrugged, and followed him. William motioned for Joey to walk beside him. Only to backhand him over the muzzle with a hard knuckle glove. He winced in pain.

"That, was for leaving me behind." Joey looked up at him.

"Sorry."

"Well, I forgive you, but not them." He pointed back at the six, and Spike, who was following them close behind.

"Keep an eye on them. They're a troublesome bunch. " He let himself fall behind, back to the six.

"Sure they are, mister unstoppable moron." He said under his breath. They snickered.

"I don't need pony ears to hear what you guys are talking about back there!" They looked at him with confusion.

"You know what? Nevermind, I took that as a complement by the way!" He continued walking ahead of the group. Still angry.

"I got something that'll cheer you up, how about a game of I spy?"

"I spy with my little eye, something grumpy and brown." William raised his gloved hand up, and slowly extended his middle finger.

"I don't think he wants to play, pinkie." Said Joey.

"Ohhh..."

Meanwhile back in Canterlot...

By this point, the storm king and his army had already taken the city, the population was not captive, the royal gaur blown to smithereens, and the princesses, turned to stone. Tempest looked out over the city.

"All this power... Wasted on parties..." She turned and walked back inside the throne room. Walking right past Celestia.

"...When there are far greater uses?" A pair of storm beast came running up, holding a jar filled with a blue glowing essence. It was ringing.

"Well, answer it!" The Storm beasts tipped the jars contents out into a large metal pot, it began crackle with lightning, forming a blue flame, the Storm beasts backed away. From it emerged the form of the storm king.

"Where am I supposed to be looking? I never understood how this spell works, Tempest!"

"Down here, your Excellency."

"Were?"

"Down here." The form of the Storm king looked down.

"Ah, there you are. Here' the deal, I'm in the middle of a big rebrand here. The Storm king is tracking, as intensely intimidating, but I need to back it up, you know what I need to back it up with? A storm! That would be great! You promised me magic that could control the element and right now, I'm holding what? A branch, a twig, a bleh...Although, now that I think about it, I probably shouldn't have wasted all its power on blowing up trees for fun, but whatever!"

"That would be the staff of secundis, your majesty. That will channel the magic of the 4 rulers of this land, you'll soon have the power of a hundred armies'."

"Yes, and you got the for pegacornicussss...Whatever you call them!"

"Give me 3 days, I'll have everything ready for your arrival."

"Remember Tempest, only I have the power to make you whole again. Make this twig work...Again, and I'll give you your reward. Fail me, and your horn won't be the only thing that's broken."

Oh, one more thing, during our initial invasion, only one put up a fight, he wasn't a pony, and referred to himself as "The unstoppable moron" we didn't catch any other name, he got away. But I'm sure he won't be a problem."

"Grea-" The message melted away, replaced by cauldron of glowing blue liquid.

"Sorry, bad spell service. You want me to call him back?"

"Do you have the princess?"

"Well funny story actually, she uh... She got away. But I got one word for you, sponge cake!" Grubber stuffed a slice of cake in his mouth, only to be fried by a bolt of magic from Tempest's broken horn.

"I need all 4 for the spell to work!"

"I know, I know."

"That princess is not going to stop me from getting my horn back! Prepare my ship!"

"What about the Unstoppable moron, what if we come across him again?"

"Then we'll find a way to deal with him when the time comes. Now go!"

Author's Note

Nick Joyce- This Is My Town - YouTube

Klugetown, code 10-44

The 9 of them continued their way south, and all the while, William's irritation continued to grow, this far out in the wilderness, there were no settlements, they walked alone thought the rocky desert, which eventually turned to sand dunes.Only adding to their pain. William complianed the entire time.

"Hey, listen here Twilight, couldn't we have taken a less strenuess rout, like...I don't know, ALONG THE COAST LINE!?"She didn't want to hear it, and just kept on treading her way though the sand, alongside her friends.

"Hey William, if it makes you feel any better, I'm just as angry as you are."

"Can it Joey." He sighed, and walked back to Twilight, leaving William walking behind them.

"What's going on with him?" He wondered to himself. They continued trudging foward.

roughly 6 hours later...

Civilization was still nowhere in sight, which was very, very bad, considering that the 9 of them had run out of water long ago, even William.

"There's... There's sand in everything." Pinkie croaked out. She looked as though she had begun to suffer a complete mental breakdown.

"S-Saving Equestria, Hahhahahha." She trailed off into laughter, it's not like the other 7 of them were faring much better. They were all suffering the effects of dehydration.

"We're lost Twilight, and it's your fault!" William stumbled to the top of the dune, covered in desert camo fatigues, a pair of sunglasses and a cowl over his face. M4 still in hand, he pulled out a compass and looked down at it, shaking his head in anger.

"Hey, look, maybe this guy knows were to go!" She picked up a dried skull, waving it around, a strange beetle crawled out from its eye socket, and onto her face.

"Why do you always see skulls' in the desert? I mean, where did the rest of the creature go?" Joey asked, dragging himself along, just in as much pain as the rest of them.

"What's that friend, we're lost?ahahahahahha." She threw the skull away, and joined the rest of them.

"We could be going in circles." Said spike, collapsing on the ground.

"Not likely, my compass shows we're still going south." He grumbled out, sure he wasn't effected by the heat as much as the rest of them, but he was still aching, and sweating buckets.

"Endless sand, nothin for miles, but sand, and this rock, and this cactus, and this road." William chuckled.

"Reminds me a bit of Arizona-wait, did you say road?" William hurried to the head of the group, gazing out over the edge of the dune, sure enough, below, he could see the coastline, and a town.

"City! Finally!" Williams spirits brightened slightly, and his speed increased to a jog.

As they entered the city, William's mood began to darken once more, something about this place didn't feel quite right, he raised his rifle.

"Hey, there, you, with the horn, you sellin?" Asked a vendor. William looked over at them, then over at Joey, who was looking back at William with an expression that said "Help!" William continued walking, unshaken. They continued walking deeper into the city. They stopped an an intersection, there stood a strange looking turtle, spike's protruding from it's shell, lifting barrels onto a cart, he appeared to be struggling.

"Here, let me help you!" Twilight levitated the barrels onto the cart for the creature.

"Hey, no messin' with the merchandise!" He shook his claw in anger, and they continued on. William approached him.

"Hurt me, or my compatriots, and I will tear off that shell of yours's and beat you to death with it, understand?" he paused for a moment, and nodded, William continued on. He walked over to Joey.

"These monsters are acting like I won't air out this entire city, if you no what I mean?" Joey smiled a bit, he understood EXACTLY what William meant by that.

"We gotta stick together, be careful who you talk to, and try to blend in-"

"To hell with blending in! I mean, look at Pinkie!" Sure enough, she was already in the middle of the street, yelling at the top of her lungs for directions. Worse, when she didn't get a response she started harassing the cities residents.

"Pinkie, you can't just wander off like that, you don't need to announce that-"

"Relax! I've totally got this!" The townsfolk began to surround the 8 of them.

"Oh boy, that's my call!" William swapped over to a set of riot gear, swapping his m4 out for an AA 12 automatic shotgun. He put himself just behind the six.

"No listen, I'm willing to apologize for one of these pastel colored abominations transgressions, but enough is enough. Now, leave, scatter!" He waved his weapon at the crowd. All 8 of them turned back to give William an angry look.

"How much for the giant gecko?" One of them asked.

"Who you calling a gecko!?"

"Spike's not for sale."

"I want that fancy purple hair! I'll gave you 2 storm bucks for it!" William face palmed.

"Looks like I got a 10-44 on my hands."

"2 storm bucks!? I'll have you know it's worth more than that!" Rarity turned her shoulder to the crowd. The crowd's began to draw closer.

"ALL OF YOU, BACK!!!" William fired his AA 12 into the air, causing the entire crowd to drop to the ground, cowering in fear.

"Works every time." A figure emerged from the shadows on the far side of the street.

"Why hello there!" It was an anthropomorphic cat. William turned his weapon, training it on the felines head.

"Take one step closer, I end you!"

"Back it up a bit!, What did I do?"

"You exist."

"Cappers my name, charming my game."

"Shut. I've dealt with your kind before, just cut to the chase."

"William, furries don't count." Joey shouted back at him.

"So, to the hippos then?" The six, and spike followed him. Joey, and William followed behind.

"He tries anything, I won't hesitate to put a round though the back of his skull."

"I don't know if we should trust him." Twilight said to her friends.

"Well, of course you can!"

"You start singing I slit your vocal cords." William called out to him. Capper nervously shrugged and led them down th street to his house. All the while, William kept his shotgun shouldered, expecting an ambush at any moment. As they entered the courtyard of his manor, William looked around, watching for snipers. They entered, walked down a long hallway, and up a ladder.

"Welcome my little ponies, to my little manor."

"Roll credits." William grumbled to himself. The other 8 of them looked around at the room that lay before them.

"Apologies for the state of my littter box, I wasn't expecting visitors."

"Alright, we're here, now, please tell me-tell us what we want to know."

"And what was that?"

"The Queen of the hippos!" Pinkie squealed out. Twilight looked over at Capper's bookshelf.

"Huh."

Meanwhile, a company of storm beasts ravaged through the city below headed by Tempest, searching for them.

"Hey, guys, I found it!" Twilight levitated a map over to the 9 of them, setting it on a table.

"We've been looking for the wrong queen! We don't need the queen of the hippos, we need the queen of the hippogriffs!"

"The what?" Joey asked.

"Part eagle, part horse."

"This world is never going to stop getting weirder, is it?" William nodded. Twilight scowled at him.

"Or in this case, pony."

"Ah, the queen of the hippogriffs, problem is, no one know were they are."

"Says here, they're on top of mount Aris." Twilight replied, slamming her hoof on the table.

"You mean the mountain right outside the window?" Pinkie pointed out. Sure enough, in the distance, through the clouds, they could see a distant spire of grey rock.

"Heh Heh, objects in windows may be less mountainess appear."Twilight folded up the map.

"Let's go everypony."They began to leave. Capper rushed in front of the door.

"You can't make it by yourself! You need...an airship." William waved his shotgun at Capper.

"Out of the way furball!"

"I'm sure we can make it on our own." Twilight opened the door to leave.

"Here's Vercoat! Those ponies better shot rainbow lasers out of their eyes if their going ot settle you dept, I brought the big cage. Let's load 'em up!"

"You-you were going to sell us!?"

"I knew it!"

"Alright, here's the deal, we're leaving, and you can't stop us-" William was cut of when he heard chuckling coming from one of the other doors.

"Heh heh, silly little ponies, trusting strangers, big mistake." Tempest trotted in through the door. Without hesitation, William tossed a fragmentation grenade though the doorway.

"Run!" Twilight flew out the open window. Followed by the other 7 of them, William went lest, crashing through the window intot he street below.

"Get the-" Tempest was cut off when the grenade went off, blowing one of the storm beasts to smithereens, and incapacitating the other. Tempest herself was knocked to the ground, unconscious.

William hit the ground with a loud thump, he got to his feet and took off toward the rest of them, who were already on their way to the airship dock. The 8 of them got their before him, just as the last one was taking off.

"Hurry!" Rainbow Dash grabbed a stray tether with her mouth, tossing it to her friend, who proceeded to attempt to tightwalk their way onto the airship, failing miserably, luckily, Rainbow ant Twilight caught their friends before they fell into the abyss below. Joey flew straight for the airship, crashing onto it's deck. Just then, William came rushing out of the city, and onto the dock, he looked at the airship in anger.

"William!" Joey called out.

"Hang on, I got an idea!" William did something he swore to himself he'd never try, he manifested a wingsuit, getting a running stop, he jumped off the dock, spreading his arms open.

"Hey, it worked! I'm flying!" Unfortunately, he soon began to lose altitude.

"Oh ####,uh...One of you help me!" Joey and Twilight jumped off the deck. Grabbing William, and flying him back to the airship safely.

"You're welcome." They both said to him. He let out a low growl.

"As much as it pains me to say this, thank you."

"Why?" Joey asked him." William didn't answer back, switching back to his normal combat fatigues. Looking back at Klugetown one last time. He gave it the finger, and turned back to discern his new situation.

Author's Note

For those of you who are'nt familar with police field codes, 10-44 means riot.

I hate pirates

William poked his head out from behind a crate, and scanned the deck. From his current vantage point he could see that it was entirely by anthropomorphic birds, all bearing the insignia of the storm king, he switched over to a silenced mp5.

"Alright, you 8 stay here, I'll hit 'em with a flash bang and then tag them while they're stunned." He whispered to them.

'Why would you want to play tag with-" Rainbow was cut off whet the group heard rumbling above them. They looked up to see one of the crew members, staring them down.

"Hey guy's, come check this-" William wrapped his arm firmly around the bird's neck and put a Bowie knife up against it's neck. The all of the remaining crew members came rushing to see what had happened.

"One more step foward and I slit your friends throat, ok?" They looked at William for a moment. Finally, one stepped foward.

"IS THAT ####ING UNDERSTOOD!?" They noded.

"My name is Captain Claeno, mind telling me what your doing on my ship?"WIlliam scoffed.

"Here's what's going to happen, I'm going to release your friend here, on the condition that you and your crew get us to Mount Airs, in one piece!"

"Captain?" One of the crew asked nerviously.

"The book says...no prisoners." They looked back at William, who still had his knife hovering over thier crewmate's neck.

"Oh ####, I've read my fair share of Tom Clancy novels, and this never ends well, I'm warning you all, don't try anything."

"What now?" One of them asked.

"Ummm..." A whistle rang out.

"Alright, that's lunch!" The one who had identified herself as 'Captain Celaeno' shouted out.

"Don't think you'll be getting away with that!"

"No seriously, I'm hungry." The one he was holding captive said to him.

"Fine, I'm going to let go now, you try anything, anything at all, and I will air out this whole deck, got that?" His captive guppled, and nodded in affirmation, William let go of him, sliding his knife back into a sheath on his belt, he trained his submachine gun on the leader's head.

"Now, eat." They sat down around a table, and began to eat... well, they were eating something, to William it looked like mud."

"What, are you so sick of flying that you've resorted to eating mud!?" He snorted out.

"Storm king only allows one break per day, and this is all we've got to eat, then it's back to hauling merchandise."

"Wait, so you're all delivery guy's?" Spike asked.

"And gals, these uniform's aren't exactly doing us any favor's."

"That doesn't mean you aren't dangerous, can you get us to mount Aris or not?"

"Sorry, we do what the storm king orders, or we suffer his wrath." William began laughing.

"What wrath?! You mean his horrible villainous bantering? Oh please, y'all don't know the true meaning, of 'evil." They looked at him with blank stare's.

"Still trying to go out in a blaze of glory, eh?" William's laughing stopped.

"It's nothing personal."

"You guy's weren't always delivery birds, what about before the storm king?" Rainbow asked them.

"Yeah, we used to be much more adventurous." Celeano pulled back the storm king's banner hanging above the table, revealing a skull and crossbones.

"Oh wow, it's even worse, you're all stereotypical pirates." The rest of them, except for Joey, gasped in amazement.

"We prefer the term,' Swash buckling treasure hunters."

"How about terrorists?" William asked. Rainbow Dash got out of her seat.

"Well, you birds have a choice to make, you can let some cloven hooved Storm king tell you how to live your lives, or you can be awesome again!" She got up on the table.

"No singing!" William jumped out of his spot, and pulled Rainbow back into her seat.

"After a week of hiking across Equestia, I think I've put up with enough of your singing, that goes for all of you!" He looked off into the distance.

"Oh look, the Storm king's forces found us!" He turned to the nearest bird.

"Make for Mount Aris!" He shouted out.

"Well, do what he said!" Celeano repeated to her crew, they did as they we told.

"Prepare to be boarded!"

"Hold on!" A Stinger guided anti aircraft missile appeared in William's hands.

"No one stand behind me!" He shouldered the launcher, and took aim at the fast approaching. By the time he had an adequate target lock, the vessel had already hooked onto the ship. and began to reel them in.

"####, Joey, hide!" William ducked behind a barrel, and took aim with his mp5, looking though it's EOTech sight. He watched as Tempest Shadow and her lackey, stepped off the platform, flanked by 2 storm beasts.

"Where is the pony princess?" She asked.

"Princess... hmm... nope, all we're hauling is storm king merchandise." Celeano replied, in an attempt to play dumb.

"You do realize that if you were harboring fugitive's, the storm king would be quite... explosive about it?" Celeano eyed William, who was hiding only a few yards away, weapon trained on one of the storm beast's heads.

"We have to get of this ship before they tell them we're here. "Twilight said to her nervous friends.

"Hey, don't worry as long as William's up there, it's a fair fight." Joey reassured them. Twilights gaze shifted to something in the corner. An idea began to form in her head.

"I've got this."

"Three..." Tempest began to count down, William knew exactly what she was intending, he pulled the trigger, sending a 3 round burst of 9mm hollow point rounds into the first storm beast's head, it dropped to the floor, dead. William stepped out of his hidding spot, and before it could react, he ended the second one just as quickly.

"Hello there, I don't suppose you'd let us go in peace?" He asked.

"Huh?" William noticed that Tempest was instead focused on the trap door leading to the ships interior, there was a scream, and they swung open. Revealing empty sky below. William walked to the edge, and peered over. Far below, he could see the vague shape of a hot air balloon, floating away.

"Oi, you idiots know I can't fly! Come back!"

"Hey, could you all hold it for a moment, we left William behind!" Joey jumped out, extending his wings, he flew back up to the airship.

"None of you move! You try anything, and I end you right here!" William shouted at Tempest.

"William, I'm back!" He turned to see Joey, hovering just off the deck."

"Oh goodie, and pray tell, how are you going to get me down there, I don't suppose you've perfected that levation of yours?"

"Another alicorn!" Tempest looked up in disbelief.

"Well, my train of thought didn't exactly get that far, aright, I was a little to focused on saving your sorry flank!" He called back down to William." I don't suppose you'd be willing to use that wingsuit again?"

"Gah! Alright!" He looked back to see Tempest rushing towards him, he kicked her aside again, and fired another burst of 9mm in her direction, 2 of the rounds caught Grubber in the stomach, he fell to the floor, screaming in pain.

"I'll be back Tempest!" He swapped to the wingsuit for what would hopefully be the last time in his life, and, with a running start, jumped off the deck, extending his arm's, he looked over to find his friend flying beside him.

"What did I tell you? It's not that bad!' Joey called out.

"Easy for you to say, you've got actual wing's!!! Now, get me to that balloon!" As William approached it, Joey grabbed him, helping him the rest of the way, even so, it wasn't so much a landing so much a painful crash. Almost knocking Rainbow off balance.

"See, what did I tell you, flying's not so bad!"

"Easy for you to say Joey." William grumbled to himself. Swapping over to his normal fatiges. He looked back to see the a series of bright explosions splash out over the airship.

"Eh, I didn't much like 'em either." Joey said to him.

Don't Stand There

The hot air balloon chrashed onto the rockey shore line of Mount Aris, the 9 of them stepped out of the wreckage. Looking up at the mountian towering before them. William groaned.

"Since I clearly can't trust any of you, I'll take point." He Manifested an M4A1 into his hands, bringing it to his shoulder, and began advancing towards the mountain.

"Hey William, don't you think you shouldn't you know... stroll into the capital of our potential allies gun's blazing?" Joey asked him.

"I never said anything about going weapons hot, this, is just a precaution." Joey looked at him, worried, and back tracked to the six. He stood at the first set of steps leading up to the summit.

"Well, I'm glad they were smart enough to add in some stairs." William remarked. He kept moving foward, Joey, spike, and the six kept pace with him.

For once, he wasn't in a perpetual state of anger, unlike the six, he loved the cold, and fog. Heck, the weather reminded him of Humbolt county in northern California. This was soon ruined by the prospect of having to scale flight upon flight of stone steps, and Rarity's complianing.

"That's it, I simply cannot go on!" She cried out, far below him.

"SHUT UP!!!" He yelled back down the mountain side, so loudly that it sent bird's flying from their perches.

"We're almost there!" Rainbow called down.

"How the hell did you get ahead of- oh... that's right, magic!" William looked ahead of him, climbing the final flight. He stared briefly at the giant stone archway that arced across the entrance of mountain's summit.

"Well, we're here."

"Hippogriff's, here we come!" Applejack shouted.

William walked into the city, Rainbow Dash flying about 20 feet off the ground to his side. Looking around, the somewhat grandiose appearance of the cities entryway way replaced by foggy, moss covered ruins.

"Are we sure this is the right place?" Rarity asked.

"Yep." He checked his compass briefly." This is the right place."

"Is anypony there?" Applejack called out.

"Welp, this place looks deserted.. But than again, they could all just be hiding." William pressed his head up against one of the nearby walls.

"Nope, it's definitely deserted." He added.

"This doesn't make sense... Celestia...the map. They have to be here!"

"Well, to bad! I don't give a #### if Celestia was wrong or not, I'm not leaving this place without a souvenir, and a well earned rest. Some of these deserted building's look pretty comfy. " William chuckled. Twilight glared back at him.

"Something bad happened here, something turned this place into a ghost town." Fluttershy began to tremble when Spike said that. William looked closely at the stone statue Spike was standing beside. He brushed away some of the moss.

"Hmmm... these look like scorch mark's." William's explanation did nothing too calm Fluttershy's nerves. He was abut ready to start yelling at her for cowardice, when something strange, yet not entirely unexpected happened. William began to hear what sounded like... singing?"

"Ya'll hear that?" He asked the group.

"It's coming from in there." Twilight gestured to a cave opening in the cliffside, the entryway was partially collapsed.

"You first." Joey insisted.

"Why? do you ponies know something I don't?"

"No, we just don't want to get blasted by whatever's inside." Joey told him, in a vain attempt to reassure him. William looked back, skeptically, and stepped into the cave entryway, switching into his riot gear, he pulled out an MP7, folding back the stock, he switched on it's under barrel flashlight, and began walking into the cave.

As William and the other's made their way though the narrow passage, the singing began to grow louder, William came to a small overhang, below him, was a massive fountain, with an equally missive lotus flower in it's center, behind it was a massive mosaic, engraved with symbol's, at first, they weren't entirely clear to William but as he stepped closer he realized that they were the 'cutie marks' of various ponies. He shivered a bit, there were still a few Equestrian terms which made him feel... uncomfortable to say the least. They stepped down into the chamber. To his surprise, Pinkie came bouncing down ahead of him. She caught one of her hooves on a step, sending pieces crumbling away.

"Ah, what was that!?" A voice called out from inside the flower, a glowing form jumped from it into the water.

"Oh, wait up!" Pinkie called back, she jumped from the stairs, straight into the massive fountain, a solid 30 feet. William face palmed, so much for stealth.

"Pinkie!" The group shouted, they galloped down the steps, and jumped into the fountain in an attempt to find their friend, to William's anger, he found Joey rushing forward as well, he just barely missed his mane. He stepped into the fountain alongside the other 7 of them.

"She's gone." Pinkie came up from under the surface.

"Wow, what a shame, by the way, Is it just me, or do I feel a strong sense of Deja vu about this place, hmm... I've got it! And- oh... I wouldn't stand there if I were you. They began to hear clanking from underneath the water.

"What now?" Twilight asked. The center of the fountain split open, pulling the massive flower down with it, it began to form a whirlpool sucking them down alongside the water.

"William, help!" He began to run forwards, but by the time he was at the base of the fountain, they were already gone, alongside most of the water. He stopped for a moment to collect himself, as far as he knew, they were either dead or dying down there. Groaning in irritation, he scratched his forehead with a Kevlar glove.

"Well, ####, I suppose it's up to me to go and get 'em. Ah, I swear, sometimes the perks of living in Equestria just aren't worth it." He manifested up a length of repelling cable at his feet, and hooked it to a nearby statue, making sure to give it a firm, firm tug upon doing so, he'd heard his fair share of nightmare inducing stories about climbers who's ropes failed on them. He did not intend to be one of those people. He fastened it tightly to his carabiner, and after slipping on a pair of waterproof climbing boots. waded out into the fountain, he peered over the edge, where his 'companions' had disappeared. He drew a glowstick, cracked it. and dropped it into the abyss below. After about half a second, it landed with a loud splash.

"Great, water, a gun enthusiasts worst enemy, aside from politicians, luckily for me, I love swimming!" Swapping over to a set of naval diving gear, he looked down, manifested an spp-1 sidearm into his hand, racked the slide, and, only after switching on his headlamp, and running through a few basic check to make sure everything was working. And began repelling down the side of the shaft, after about only 20 feet. He reached the water. Sure he had gone diving in open ocean, and occasionally in mountain lakes before, but dark cave's under ancient castle where a whole noth-" He shook his head.

"If Capt. Price from call of duty can do it, so can I!" He plunged into the dark water.

My day has already been ruined, this just makes it worse

As soon as William hit the water, he felt an unfamiliar sense of dread wash over him, this wasn't a particular type of warfare he was entertained by. He looked around himself, finding his surrounding's dark, he waved a gloved hand in front of his face finding it to just barely be illuminated by his headlamp, he spun around 360 degrees, looking around out of paranoia to ensure nothing was watching him.

"Alright, now that you're down here, how do you find them?" He asked himself. Staring down into the blackness below him.

"Ah, got it!" He manifested a heartbeat sensor into existence, a device capable of Identifying living beings by they're heart beat's alone. Switching it on, he found, much to his disappointment, that there were no signatures within a good 200 yards of him in every direction.

"Great, just great!" He shouted, his voice muffled by his mask. Just then, he spotted something out in the darkness, emitting a faint glow. It seemed to be getting closer. He checked the air gauge on his gear. It read: 1 hour, 28 minutes.

"I've got plenty of time to look for them, as long as they aren't...well..." William shook his head again. He looked down at the heart beat sensor one more time. 4 blips of light appeared on it, clearly not those of his friends, whatever they were, they were circling him. Like sharks, or killer whales. Already on edge, William raised his spp-1 and flipped the safety off. He had chosen this particular pistol on account of it's ability to function underwater for extended period's of time. He moved from side to side, in and attempt to stay with whatever that glowing thing was that was stalking him out in the darkness.

"Stay back, I'm warning you!" He screeched out. The being finally showed it's face. It appeared to be part fish, part... pony? No, that didn't make sense, hypogriff maybe? Yes, that had to be it. In addition, it also seemed to be wearing golden armor, alongside a spear, William swam back.

"What are you doing here!?" It demanded.

"Oh, you can talk? That makes it so much easier, my name's William, I'm looking for my...er.. friends, there's 8 of them,7 ponies, one mini dragon?" The being cocked his head in confusion.

"What?" William asked.

"Hmmm... captain?" It asked, a second one swam up to him.

"Hello there, I'm sorry, surface dweller's aren't allowed here, leave now, and you will not be harmed."

"I saw my friends fall down hear, and I ain't leaving until I find them, dead or alive, me, not them."

"I see.. guards!" William looked down at the scanner, the other 3 blips on the screen, not counting the 2 already in his sight, were closing on him.

"Back off!" He fried a round just off the the side of the one who had identified himself as 'captain' causing him to swore off to the side, but not duck in fear.

"Damn water, it's a hell of a lot easier when you've got the sound of the bullet firing to scare them." Even so, it had worked. They were now holding they're positions around him.

"I will ask again, have you seen my friends?" The 2 creatures in front of him just shrugged.

"No, follow us." They began to swim away.

"Hey, where are you going?" He demanded. They didn't respond back. He just swam after them. Following them though a narrow underwater archway. Into an enormous cavern. William could hardly believe his eye's. Before him was an entire underwater city, straight out of a Disney movie. In the scattered reef bed's and houses below, he could see faces watching him. Ignoring them, he continued forward. The guards led him though wat appeared to be a large flower shaped formation made of pink coral, he could hear what sounded suspiciously like a teenager whining about their problems from inside, of no voice he recognized though. He continued up into it, entering a grandiose throne room, decorated with glowing coral. On the far side of the room was a throne. made of pink coral with a gold finish. Reclining on it was a being similar to the ones which had led him here. To it's direct side, was a slightly smaller one, who appeared to be pleading to the larger one for-

He spotted Joey and the other's. Alive, and wearing some strange fish bowl looking things over they're head's, like something out of a cartoon.

"Well, the more bull#### the merrier!" He shouted out, the group turned to William.

"William, you came for us!" Joey swam towards William as best he could, a smile on his face. William stopped him before he could make contact.

"Hang on just a moment. What's going on here?" He asked the one on the throne.

"Well, my daughter's begging for your right to stay here." She responded.

"Oh, really now?" He looked over at the six with skepticism.

"Please mama?" The yellow one asked." The storm king is trying to destroyed they're homes to."

"We need to find the hypogriffs, do you know what happened to them?" Twilight asked.

"Well of course I know, I'm the queen, I know everything." William looked at the guards, then at they're so called "queen" Then at the main six, then back at the guards. Without a second though, he drew his sidearm, and began swimming towards the throne.

"Oh, you know everything you say!?" He raised his pistol, sighting the queen right between the eyes.

"Uh, what's he doing?" She asked. Joey looked back at his angered friend.

"Oh no... Twilight, grab him!" William found himself being pulled by a purple and blue glow. He looked back at Joey, to find his horn lit, alongside Twilight. While irritated, he got the message hesitantly, William lowered his pistol.

"I hate royalty, snobby, condescending royalty most of all." He grumbled under his breath.

"Anywayyy... continue." Twilight told the 2 on the throne.

"Don't you dare..." The white one was cut off when the yellow one swam to the top of the chamber, and waved her flipped against the wall, causing it to light up. Revealing a series of hieroglyphics and mosaics carved into he rock.

"Once upon a time, like...a while ago-" William cut in.

"You were all once hypogriffs, the storm king showed up to steal your magic, so you all decided to go into hiding down here." The six looked at him in surprise.

"How did you know that?" The yellow one asked.

"It really wasn't that hard to figure out, you all bare more that a passing resemblance to what I imagined hypogriffs would look like."

"Well, you guessed right, all of it!"

"Well, I guess now that that's out of the way, proper introductions are in order? Can't keep referring to you as, White, and yellow."

"Yes, I am queen Novo." William thought to himself for a second.

"Hm, cool name, you?" He turned to the smaller one.

"Princess Skystar." William shrugged, unimpressed.

"Hold on now, let me get this straight, you took your entire city and fled?" Applejack asked.

"We didn't flee, we swam!"

"Same damn thing!" William called back.

"But how?' Twilight asked.

"Oh can we show them, can we, can we? These are the first guests we've had in a long time!" Skystar began to poke at her mother. William grumbled in annoyance.

"Well... I suppose I should make sure it still works." Queen Novo go off her throne and swam up to the strange, jelly fish like chandelier hanging from the ceiling, from it descended a purple orb.

"Careful now." She whispered, giving it a tap. A strange wave of energy emerged from it, engulfing the six, Spike, and Joey. William on the other hand, screamed in horror, and swam back, redrawing his pistol. He waved it at Novo, he watched as the wave of magic made contact with the group, the began to change, they're hooves were replaced by flippers, and they're wing's by... whatever those things were. To no surprise whatsoever, they seemed to except the change. Albeit, Joey was a tad bit confused at first. He soon accepted it like the other's. They all turned and stared at William.

"Comon William, it's not that bad, give it a try, you where the one who said you wanted wings after all." Joey said to him, reassuringly. William paused for a moment, he stared at his pistol. Ejecting the magazine, and then reinserting it out of a mixture of anxiety and habit. He did it a second time.

"William, you alright buddy?" Joey asked.

On edge

"Hey, buddy, you alright?" Joey repeated. William continued staring down at his pistol.

"Who ever told you I wanted wings?" William asked with a shaky tone in his voice.

"Uhhh, you did, just before you jumped off that airship earlier today."

"No, you said that, I never did." William's gaze shifted back up to that of his friend, and his bright, disturbing smile. He groaned in frustration.

"What are you so worried about?" Joey asked. William just sighed, he looked over at Novo.

"You, if I don't like it, can you change me back?" She though for a moment.

"Yes...if you want, that is." William nodded. Novo raised the strange purple orb up again. It began to glow, and once again, a wave of energy emerged from it, engulfing William, who was trembling uncontrollable, out of habit, he shut his eyes.

"Hey, you can open them now," Joey said to him. He did, he first thing that he notice was that he could now see his own nose...well, muzzle, it was tan brown, same color of his OC. He breathed a sigh of relief. Wait, did he just breath, under water?! He began to panic, he tried to move his foot, but instead found a giant fin at the end of where his foot had been, he screamed, and began to hyperventilate.

"Don't worry, you're ok." His friend reassured him.

"Ok!? Where did my feet go!?" He demanded. The feeling was, strange, and unwelcome, at least as a pony, he would have still had 4 appendages to wave around, this, was completely unwelcome and alien. For reference, imagine having someone permanently graft a sleeping bag onto the lower half of you body.

"Hey, look on the bright side, at least you have-"William held up a hoof-oh yes, no hands. He groaned in frustration.

"You, Novo change me back!" She looked at him, confused.

"You sure?"

"Yes! Now change me back, before I start losing my sanity!" She looked at Joey, who just shrugged, then looked at the seapony in William's place. She tapped the pearl again, and a few seconds later, William was back to normal, he raised his hands up to his face and sighed in relief.

"You have no idea how weird a feeling it is to lose control of half of your body!" Joey rolled his eyes.

"So, what now?"

"Well..." Skystar waved her flipper, and a globe of magic appeared around William's head.

"Better?" She asked him.

"Yes, I much prefer this to losing my legs."

"With that we can turn everypony back home into something powerful enough to face the storm king's army!" Twilight swam up to Novo.

"Or, it could end up in his greedy claws!" She shot back.

"But-"

"Honey, I'm sorry about your home, I truly am. But my responsibility is t protect my subject. The pearl is not going anywhere."She raised it up, and the pearl was grabbed by that strange chandelier in the ceiling.

"Hmm, must be alive, or magic, or both," William noted.

"But, we came all this way, you can't stay trapped down here forever, there's so much you're missing."

"And we are 100 percent ok with that." Novo replied. A jellyfish swam up to her and squeaked.

"Yes Jamal?"

"Oh, time for my seaweed wrap!" She swam out of the throne room, leaving the group alone with Skystar.

"William, did that Jellyfish just-"

"Yes it did Joey."

"So that's it, we left home for nothing?" Applejack asked Twilight.

"Well, not nothing, I got to have some fun." William mumbled to himself. They all turned to Skystar.

"Best idea, you can stay with us, forever!" She clapped her fins. The group stared at her with a look of "Dafaq did you just say?" William rubbed his temple, or at least, tried to, with the bubble of magic around his head.

"The fact aside that that would mean having to permanently change into one of...you," He gaged slightly. "I'm not staying down here, and I'll drag y'all out of this place kicking and screaming if need be. He looked over at the six.

"There are so many things we can do...we can make friendship bracelets out of shell...picture frames out of shells...waste baskets out of shells-" William screamed in mental anguish and redrew his sidearm.

"Gahhh! Cut the nonsense! No seriously, I will literally have a seizure if you continue.

"Ma'am you must realize that we can't stay." Rarity told Skystar.

"We've got to get back to our families." Applejack added.

"Oh no.. Of course, of course, of course you have your own friends back home, it's fine, it's fine, Shelly and Sheldon get jealous any way's, it's probably for the best. I'll get mom to turn you back so you can go home." William let out of a low growl of disapproval as Skystar swam away.

"I know we have to go, but you guy's saw how disappointed Princess Skystar was, couldn't we stay for just little bit longer?" Pinkie pressed.

"Pinkie, we just don't have time for-" Twilight cut applejack off.

"Oh no... Pinkie's right."

"Say what now?" Rainbow and William both asked at the same time.

"Well...we still need to come up with a plan to get back, a few minutes wouldn't make a huge difference. And if there's anypony who can cram a life time of fun into a blink of an eye, it's Pinkie pie! So go on ahead and give Skystar the best time ever!" Twilight winked back at William, he nodded in affirmation. He watched as she shooed her friends away. William gazed over at Joey, he snapped and pointed off in their direction.

"Go, now." He told Joey, who was more than eager to agree with him. Once they were gone, Twilight looked around the room for a moment, William followed her gaze.

"What is she looking for, the damn pearl's up there," She turned to face him, and swam up to him.

"Hey, William, I need you're the help, and you're the only one I can trust, can I?" William folded his arms. "I don't know, can you?" She continued on.

"I need you to help me get the pearl." She begged him.

"Hmmm..." His eye's scanned the chamber.

"Alrighty then! Let's get started." He gestured for her to follow, and swam up the the ceiling. Studying the chandelier for weak points.

"Look's pretty damn sturdy, I say we blow it with flash paper, you?"

"Uh, how about we just take it?" William chuckled.

"Well then, go on ahead...be my guest." He could hear singing in the distance. Joey's voice going along with it. He shook his head.

"Universe, how do I get stuck in these kind's of situations?"

"Oh right, my ego." The thought of it brought a dim smile to his face, soon fading as he realized what was happening.

Black op gone wrong

Almost immediately after leaving the throne room, the main six, along with Joey, and Spike, burst into song, dragging Novo and Skystar into it as well, they were so carried away with it, that they hadn't bothered to check and see what Twilight and William were up to, that was, until the tamper alarm went off.

"The pearl!" Novo and Skystar shouted, swimming back up to the throne room.

"Alright, I've lined the chandelier with flash paper, it's made of magnesium, meaning it will burn even underwater," William explained to Twilight, who simply nodded in return. William ran a few feet of speaker cable to the flash paper, and sparked the ignition. Briefly lighting up the room in a flash of light as the magnesium detonated. William looked away, Twilight on the other hand...

"Owww! My eyes!" She complained.

"Don't worry, just blink. It'll be over soon. Look, there's your pearl," He pointed at the chandelier which appeared to be shriveling back from the pain on the flash paper and-wait, whimpering? He decided to ignore it for the time being. William gestured for Twilight to approach it, the incendiary had burned a hole into the- whatever it was, exposing the glowing purple orb inside.

"Yes," She thought to herself as she swam closer, unfortunately, the chandelier seemed to regain it's composure, and lashed out at them, entangling twilight, and grabbing William by the pantleg of his drysuit. To make matters worse, it seemed as though it had set off some kind of alarm. He cursed under his breath.

"Gahhh, get off me!" William drew a K-bar, and began hacking at the vine, thankfully, it came away after about 2 swings, he yanked his foot clear. His gaze shifted up to Twilight, who was trying desperately to reach the pearl. He swam forward to help her, i the distance he could hear the all to familiar sound of something swimming towards him.

"Damnit!"He darted away, hiding behind one of the coral support columns.

Queen Novo and the others swam into the throne room, to find Twilight, tangled in a mess of glowing vines, reaching for the pearl. Novo growled, and swam up to Twilight, snatching away the pearl.

"No, please!" Twilight pleaded.

"All of this so you could sneak in and take the pearl?!" She demanded, yanking Skystar away from the six. She looked her right in the eye's.

"This is why we don't bring stranger's into our home!" She turned back to Twilight and the other's. William watched from cover, not 10 yards away.

"You don't deserve to be one of us." The pearl began to glow again.

"####," William thought to himself, watching as a flash of purple energy engulfed the other 8 of them.

The six, Joey, and Spike broke the surface of the ocean. Coughing and sputtering of air, they swam to shore. Dragging themselves out onto the black sand's below mount Airis.

"Where's *Cough* William?!"Joey asked franticly. He looked back at the ocean to see the dark for of William break the surface, M4 drawn, he waded to shore and stepped onto dry land as though nothing had happened, swapping out his drysuit and respirator for a set of navy blue camouflage fatigues and a black combat vest. He looked a around at his friend, then back at the six, and just shrugged.

"What were you thinking, I mean, stealing their pearl?!"Applejack asked.

"It was the only way to save Equestria!" She retorted, gazing back at William. He looked back, with a stone cold expression of irritation on his face.

"Except it wasn't! The queen was going to say yes! We did what you told us, and that's what made her realize we were ponies worth saving!"

"Yes, what she told you..." William thought to himself, cracking a malicious smirk as he did. Pinkie gasped.

"Unless, you didn't want us to show her the best time ever, you just wanted us to distract her!"

"I never would have done it but this isn't Equestria! We can't just dance around with con artists, make rainbooms in the sky and expect everything to work out! It's not enough, we are not enough!" She gave William a reassuring wink.

"No Twilight, we stuck together, WE were going to get the help we needed. The only thing that stopped us was you!" William chuckled.

"Well, I'm doing the best I can. I'm the one Tempest want's, I'm the last princess!" She trotted away.

"You're the only who doesn't trust her friends!"

"Well maybe I would have been better off without friends like you!" She yelled at Pinkie. William facepalmed.

"Wow, you just summed me up perfectly," he said out loud. He watched as Pinkie dropped to the ground and began to quiver.

"Pinkie, I-"

"I just can't talk to you right now." She said, sniffling, She trotted off, Rainbow, Rarity, Applejack, and Fluttershy followed. Twilight hung her head low, and trotted off in the opposite direction. Leaving William and Joey on the beach alone.

"I-I should go..." Joey stuttered, his ears drooping, he began off toward the other 5. He was topped when William grabbed him by the tail.

"Ah hell no, you're coming with me, horse brain!" He chuckled a bit. "Always wanted to use that insult."

"You helped Twilight try to steal that pearl, you let her take the blame," Joey said to him. William stood there, speechless.

"Listen, Joey. I did that for a very specific reason, my ego prevents it."

"Oh really, then why did you stop me?!" William was taken back momentarily. This was the first time since arriving in Equestria that his friend had yelled at him.

"Listen, clearly, my version of fun involves playing god with the lives of other, and it takes a lot of self control to make sure my toys don't break, so to speak." Joey looked at him in disbelief, but nodded.

"Well, let's go see if we can't get Twilight to get her sorry flank to get us back to Equestria!" Joey shouted triumphantly. William let out a low growl of anger. They headed off to Twilight.

"Hey, William, question."

"Yes?" William grunted.

"How is it that you can keep your cool in a situation like this?"

"My ego." He responded back.

"Eh, fair enough."

They found Twilight on the edge of an overhang, sobbing and shaking uncontrollably. William spotted Spike, likely trying to comfort her, and failing. William approached her.

"I can't, I ruined everything. There's no chance to save Equestria." Her heard her say between sobs.

"Oi what do we have here?! Get your fuzzy flank off the basalt! We go work to do!" He shouted. He felt something breath down the back of his neck.

"There's something behind me, ain't there?" He rolled one eye back to get a very, very good look at the storm beast behind him, William swallowed hard. And in a flash of light, a Beowolf appeared in his right hand, making it a bit harder for him to aim, seeing that he was left handed. He could here the panicked screams of Spike, who the monster held firmly in it's grasp.

"Go to hell." He said flatly, squeezing off a 2 round burst into the beings face, it stumbled back off the cliff, clutching it's face and shrieking in pain. He heard Twilight scream behind him. William whipped around to find her in a cage, being hoisted into the air.

"Joey, look after 'em while I'm away!" Without a second thought, he jumped for the cage. Not out of wanting to save Twilight, but rather, because he knew exactly who would be up there. Plus, he hadn't yet gotten his fix of violence for the day. And addiction that, with luck, would never fade.

We meet again...

William pulled himself up onto the cage, watching the terrified face of his friend below as he disappeared into the airship above. Swapping over to a set of riot gear, he pulled down a Lexan tinted glass visor, and drew a flashbang. The hatch below the cage snapped shut, and he found himself in a large circular room, with a metal grate floor. Seeing no need for the flashbang at the moment, he set it off to the side for later, swapping over to a suppressed P90 pdw, he scanned the room, finding it to be empty.

"What kind of stereotypical villain doesn't want to be right in front of their foe to start monologuing as soon as they've caught them?" He asked himself. Hopping down from the cage.

"Hey, uh, William, can you get me out?" Twilight asked. He scoffed in return.

"Not a chance. Try not to get killed when I'm away." He made for a staircase leading up to what appeared to be a metal door. William but his ear up against it in an attempt to find out what might be lurking on the other side.

"Damn, nothing, it's either soundproof, or there's no one on the other side." He reached for the hinge, but jumped back when it began to move first. He hid back behind the door as it opened. On the other side, was Tempest. Excited, he raised his P90 to his shoulder, and placed that smug look on her face right between the crosshairs of the weapons' EOTech 552 scope. He paused for a moment.

"I'm on an airship, that means a free ride back to Equestria, oh Tempest, look's you get to live a little bit longer." He stepped around the doorway, and simply strolled out into the hallway on the other side. The metal grate flooring changed to darkened hardwood. He looked both ways. There wasn't single storm beast present.

"Hmm, makes it that much simpler for me." Walking low to the ground, body shifted to the side so as to present the smallest, least distinct profile to oncoming hostiles, he began making his way down the corridor. He hadn't made it 5 yards down the hallway before he came across his first target. A pair of storm beast's, guarding the entrance to the airship's upper levels. Crouching behind a wooden crate, he took aim at them, and sent a five seven round though each of their skull's. And, as an added bonus, because of the way the muzzle and suppressor were integrated, the only major noise the weapon made was the bodies of the monsters hitting the ground, followed by the hot brass from the P90's action clattering on the floor. Satisfied with his work, William turned, and advanced up the staircase which they had been guarding. It lead up to what appeared to be a mess hall. of sorts. Loitering around an assortment of tables, was 6 more storm beasts. To many for him to engage in close quarters. Laying prone behind yet more crates, he looked around the room for a way to "Level" the playing field. He noticed that in this particular room, their was no natural lighting whatsoever, the lighting seemed to come entirely from a pair of what appeared to be blue lanterns on the far side of the room. Taking aim with his P90, he knocked them both to the ground, snuffing them out, and completely blinding the Storm beasts. He swapped out his heavy bullet proof visor for a set of NVG's (Night Vison Googles) and systematically took out each of the Storm beasts.

"Alright, I got one, where's the rest of them?!" William asked himself as he stepped over the corpses of the one's he had just killed.

"Hmmm... Wonder what Joey's doing right now? Eh, probably having the time of his life." He let out a low growl of anger at the thought of it. He left the room to find yet more storm beasts waiting for him. He ejected the now empty box magazine, and slammed a fresh one into his P90.

"This is the best I've felt all day!" He murrmured to himself as he took aim at the next group of approching Storm Beasts.

Joey found the rest of the six. Depressed, before Spke did.

"Hey! The Storm king got William and Twilight!"

"What?!" They colectively shouted.

"Tempest took her on heer ship!" Spike explained.

"We gotta get her back!"

"How? We'll never catch up!"

"And even if we did, there's no way to defeat those monsters, least, not without William..."

"Yeah, I can't beilve I actually miss him." Rainbow dash said.

"Comon guy's William wouldn'nt want you to talk about him in the third person. There's got to be a way to catch up to them!" Joey shouted out.

"Well good thing I happen to know of a goup of mighty hero's that could handle this!" Caper stepped out from behind a nearby outcroping."

"Well... look what the cat draged in. Himself!" Rarity yelled up at him.

"William made it very clear not to listen to you." Joey told him.

"Oh did he now? Well, from what I heard, he's gone, and you need all the help you can get! So, here you go, I belive you're quite familiar with them already!" Joey looked up to find Captain Celeano and her crew standing on the cliff face above them.

"Heard you could use a claw!" They called down. Joey looked back at the ocean to see the a glowing for emerge from it, Skystar landed on the beach.

"Hello! Me again! I'm going to so grounded, but I talked things over with shelly and sheldon, and they pointed out that you where just trying to help your friends, so I want to help to!" Joey facehoofed.

"I'm begining to realize that William was the only thing keeping me from going insane," He said to himself with an uncertain chuckle as the rest of the crowd around him began to debate on how to get Twilight back.

William Advanced down the last hallway on the final floor, having spent the last half hour carving a path of distruction across the airsip to reach the top deck. He kicked open the door at the end of the hallway, and stepped outside. He was greated by a much needed breath of fresh air. Equestrian airships don't exactly have the most plesant smelling interiors. He looked out, in the distance he could see Canterlot mountain, surounded by dark storm clouds, and more hostile airship's.

"Storm king, I'm gonna cut you down." He murmured to himself.

Blood on the marble

William waited on the overlook at the top of the ship, gazing down on the destruction the Storm king's forces had wrought. In all honesty, it didn't seem that bad, at least, from the air.

"Eh, I've seen worse, my vacation to Chernobyl was proof of that," He shivered slightly, that 'expedition' still gave him nightmares. He turned, and headed back down inot the bowels of the ship. Clad in black armor, and keeping his P90 tucked firmly into his shoulder, he advanced down the dimly lit hallways, occasionally stopping to put the odd storm beast or 2 out of their mortal misery, so to speak. When he made it back to the room in which Twilight was being held, he gently swung it open, only to find her, and the cage gone. Just then, he felt the whole ship rock for a moment, and then stop.

"Must've landed. Well... This is were I get off!" William shouted into the empty chamber, closing the door behind him, he walked back down the hallway, back up though the corridors, until he found a window on the starboard side of the airship which he could repel out of unseen. He hooked the ropes onto the ledge in a 2 fold not, in a way that would allow him to retrieve it after he was done with it, regardless of the fact that he could make military hardware disappear and reappear at will. This did make it a tad bit more convenient.

"Here we go!" He jumped out of the window , gripping the cable as he did, he swiftly made his way down the side of the ship, at last, he stepped down back onto the dock. Looking up at the spires of Canterlot.

"I haven't missed this place in the slightest," The rope disappeared in a flash of light, and in it's place. William threw on a set of dull grey riot gear.

"Should I go in loud, or quiet?" He asked himself as he crept along the dock towards the city. He poked his head around one of the support pillars at the end of the dock. From there, he could see the pavilion where he had first encountered the Storm king's forces, looking though a pair of binoculars, he could see the petrified form of Derpy hooves.

"Guess that answer's my question, loud it is!" He replaced his P90 with an M249.

"Oh, how I've missed you." He said to the weapon as he quietly advanced into the city." He kept to alleyway's as much as possible. That was, until he came to the main road though Canterlot, to find it filled with captive ponies, and Storm Beasts.

"Hmmm...they call it a city, I call it a target rich environment." He snickered to himself as he propped his squad automatic weapon up against a wall. And opened fire. Filling the street with lead, most of the ponies dove for cover as soon as the gunfire started out of instinct. Others stood still, either because they were unable to, or because they were to scared to do so. William was forced to aim around them. Within all of 30 seconds, he had racked up a kill count of 18 of the monsters. Satisfied with his work, and hearing more of them rushing to aid the ones in distress, he pulled out the empty box magazine, and slammed a fresh one into it. Noticing that they had no active way to fight back at range. He left his hiding spot in the alleyway, stepping out into the open. This gave him away obviously. But no matter, William could kill them faster than they could arrive. As he moved closer and closer to the castle, his kill count climbed higher and higher.

20 down...

30...

40...

50...

60...

It was all to easy, while these Storm beast's may be an intimidating and formidable foe at close range. Their general disregard for this very important thing called 'strategy' combined with their clumsy forms meant that at mid to long rage, they were nothing more than a nuisance to William and his M249. He heard a rumbling noise all around him, followed by a bright flash of light come from the direction of the castle, he noticed that all of the captive ponies around him began to momentarily shiver, then stop, and wince in pain.

"Oh, #### the Storm king must've done whatever he wanted to do to Twilight. Wait... does that mean-" Quickly, he tried manifesting a Glock into his other hand. And sighed in relief when it did.

"Thank goodness whatever spell he was casting up in yonder castle only applies to ponies." It wasn't just him that had paused for a moment to peek up at the castle, it was the remaining Storm beasts as well. He took this opportunity to charge his way past them, and into the castle, which to his surprise, was both unlocked, and unguarded.

"Good," He thought to himself, it would make it that much easier to kill him. Just then, yet another strange thing began to happen. The sun and moon began rapidly cycling though the air.

"The storm king must be fooling around with his newfound power, I'll bag him while he's distracted."

"Ah yes, I got a delivery for a mister, The Storm Kin-" Caper stopped talking and looked around, the Storm beast's guarding the city gates were gone. In the distance, the group could hear gunfire.

"That's William." Joey told the group, trotting up alongside the comically large cake which they had fabricated in an attempt to sneak captain Celeano and her crew inside the city walls.

"How do you know?" Questioned Applejack.

"Do you no anypony else in this place with firearms?" He asked.

"Fair point, let's go, hey, you guys can get out off there now!" Rainbow shouted into the cake. From there, they crept into the city, meeting no resistance whatsoever. And then they saw it. The dead bodies of storm beasts, staggered though the streets, corpses covered in bullet holes from the full metal jacket round's William had put though them. The six gaged slightly at the sight of it all, Joey managed to keep his composure.

"I didn't realize that friend of yours was that powerful, remind me again how it is that you were chased out of here in the first place?" Caper asked the group.

"William claim's they caught him off guard," Joey responded.

"How could you catch someone like that off guard?" Asked Celeano.

"Beat's me." Replied Rainbow.

William kicked in the doors of the throne room, and, with a flashbang, barged inside, expecting to find the storm king inside. Blinded and ready to have William put a burst of 5.56 though his skull. He instead found it empty, he could hear shouting coming from the balcony. He crept his way though the destroyed stained glass windows. There's he found Twilight and Tempest, to their direct front was what The storm king himself, roughly 8 and a half feet tall. And clutching a glowing staff. He appeared to be staring down at the city below, likely at the dozens of dead Storm beasts below.

"Uh, what happened?" He asked the 2 of them.

"Hello there, you the storm king?" William asked causally.

"Who are you?" He responded.

"Your majesty, he's that "Unstoppable moron" I told you about earlier." Tempest told him, the color seemed to drain from his face as he heard that.

"You, did that?!" He pointed down at the city below. William didn't responded, he lifted his weapon to shoulder, and set it's dim red sights right between the storm kings eyes.

"What are you going to do now, kill me?" He asked with a chuckle in his voice, he slammed the staff, and a bolt of lightning flew from it, almost catching William in the shoulder.

"I've been blasted with lightning in this world enough times to know when someone's 'bouta try to to it to me."

"Well, doge this then!" He slammed it into the marble flooring again, and a cyclone began to form above the castle, growing into A full sized tornado. He began to laugh. as lightning engulfed the castle.

"Now I truly am the Storm King!" William cringed slightly at this, he made a painful realization.

"I wasted an entire week of my damn life, for this piece of ####! another stereotypical Equestrian villain?!"

"Yes, Yes, you are every bit as powerful as I promised sire, now restore my horn, and I swear to use my magic to serve you." Tempest told the Storm king, who only laughed in return.

"HaHa, wo cares about your dinkiy little unicorn horn?" He pushed her aside.

"We had A deal!" She shouted at him.

"Get with the program! I used you, It's kina what I do!" He lowered his staff in her direction, and began to recklessly fire bolts of lightning in her direction. In return she fired a sporadic bolt of energy from her broken horn. The 2 bolts collided with one another, sending them flying in opposite directions. William watched as Twilight rushed over to pull Tempest back over the edge of the railing, he turned to the storm king, watching him struggle back to his feet. He raised the staff in his claws, aiming it at the 2 of them. Unfortunately for him William was quicker.

"Isn't that so sweet-" He stopped for a moment, and looked down at his chest.

"Ouch." Where his last words, right before William sent another 3 round burst though his head. He watched in satisfaction as his body clattered to the floor, dead at last.

"Another one bite the dust." William thought to himself with a chuckle. He looked up, just in time to find, Joey, the six, and Spike come barreling though the storm clouds, and right into him. They fell to the ground in a heap.

"Owww!! The hell's wrong with you?!" He yelled at them, they, with the exception of Joey, ignore him going for Twilight instead, who greeted warmly in return.

"Guy's, you all came back! I'm so sorry, I was wrong to-" They all embraced each other. William scowled at them in disgust. He looked over at Joey.

"William, you're ok!" He rushed to give William a hug, who side stepped.

"Not a chance in hell buddy," Joey just smiled back. The silence was cut when a bolt of lightning shattered the ceiling above them, when William had dropped the storm king, the wind had knocked the staff into he glass window, causing it to send stray bolts of magic flying in all direction's. Trapping Tempest under the debris.

"I've got to get control of that staff!" Twilight shouted. William looked up at the staff.

"Hmmm." He rushed past them, and began to scale the pile.

"What is he doing?" Applejack asked Joey. He didn't respond. Watching as William clambered up the pile in the winds, he snatched it from it's place in the rubble.

"Alrighty then, how do you work this staff?" He asked Twilight. Before she could respond, William smacked it against the wall, and the storm above them disappeared as quickly as it had appeared.

"Hm, I like this thing, eh, I like this more." He held up a Glock in the other hand. And climbed back down from the pile. His boots hit the ground, he raised the staff, and began to examine it. A grin began to form on his

"Hmmm, maybe if I, nah..." He stepped forward and tossed the staff to Twilight.

"You're welcome." He smeared. She turned around, and stuck it into the floor, right where the other 3 Princesses where situated. It let out a Flash of light, crumbling the stone away from the Princesses.
"Twilight!" Celestia gasped. William watched the whole scene unfold from the corner. Piece by piece, the castle was repaired. He looked back outside, and saw that the same was happening with the city, all the Storm king's work was coming undone.

"This was to easy..." He murmured to himself. William noticed that Joey was waving for him to join the others. Instead, he just sat down where he was. Looking down at his Glock, he ejected the magazine, catching it in his hand, and reinserting it, before sliding the pistol back into the holster on his side. William turned away from the group. Joey noticed him.

"Wait, uh, ma'am?"

"What is it?" She replied

"It wasn't all Twilight. William over there helped us as well, heck, we couldn't have done it without him." Celestia looked over at William.

"Well, thank you for your help." William only gave a thumbs up of approval in return.

"Trust me, coming from him, that's the best, you'll ever get." William heard this, and cracked a small smile. He watched as they concluded their celebration's, and began to leave.

"You commin'?" Joey asked him.

"Yes, I'll be there in a moment." He lied.

"Ok." Joey left. William's gaze shifted over to Tempest.

"YOU!" He stood up, walked over to her, and grabbed her by the mane.

"But I thought-"

"Whatever Twilight may have promised you, doesn't apply to you now, you messed with the wrong...well...Human? Now, that's not right. Yes, got it, QUIET KID." He set her down.

"You're letting me go?" William didn't respond at first, he thought long and hard about what to say. Finally, it came to him.

"You're one less loose end." He drew a .44 magnum revolver, and trained it right below her broken horn.

"William!" He heard Joey shout. He turned his head to find Joey, alone in the doorway, with an expression of confusion and terror on his face.

"William, don't do it, Celestia said she was free to go!" William looked at Tempest, then back at his friend.

"Alright." He smacked Tempest in the neck with the revolver, knocking her out cold.

"Not a word of this to anypony, or anyone, ever, understand?" Joey gulped, and nodded.

"Good." He stepped away from her body, and began strolling towards the door, the sun to his back. He passed by Joey, and motioned for him to follow. Joey trotted up along side him.

"Did I mention you're the only sentient creature here that doesn't drive me insane?" William grunted in response.

"This, is why I work alone." He murmured under his breath.

Epilogue

William and Joey made their way back to the Pavilion in the center of Canterlot, to both their surprises. It seemed as though it had been perfectly repaired. The whole way, William had been mumbling to himself, Joey couldn't pick up much. From what he could gather, it sounded like he was complaining about how every single villain in Equstria was the same. Other than that, he couldn't discern anything. By now, the sun had set. The 2 of them entered the pavilion, at it's center, William could see a massive stage. Surrounded by a crowd.

"The storm king ain't 2 hour's dead and they're already acting like it never happened." William grumbled to himself. He took a good look at the crowd.

"Nope." He said flatly, he turned, and walked away from Joey. William watched as he galloped off and joined the crowd. He groaned in disgust as they pointed out the main six for saving them.

"If only they knew..." HE thought to himself. He didn't harbor any negative feelings of resentment towards Twilight or her friends. William never liked being in the spotlight. It was the way they acted that got under his skin. The ponies in the crowd cheered, and then one of them began to sing, the other's joined in alongside. William sighed.

Joey took his place beside the main six watching the performance alongside them. His gaze shifted back to William, sitting on a bench, head hung low. He could tell that something was wrong.

"Hey Twilight, do you mind? I need to go talk to William." He asked.

"Sure, go on ahead." Joe sat up, and trotted off towards the bench where William resided.

"Hey, there!" William looked over, to find Joey sitting down next to him.

"What now, pony?" William asked, his voice growling slightly at the word pony.

"What's wrong, the Storm kings dead, everyponies celebrating, why don't you come on out there and join us?" He asked William.

"Leave me be." William said.

"Oh come on, there's got to be a reason you aren't out there."

"Don't you understand? Ever since you've arrived, you've been acting, differently you're just going along with everything. It's... disturbing." Joey looked at him in confusion.

"I don't understand, what do you mean by acting strangely, I'm fine." The tone in William's voice changed.

"Gahh, it's exactly that, it started with your willing acceptance of being changed into a completely alien species, from there, it only got worse, the way they just accepted you, like nothing, it's...well... it's infuriating to say the least. First they just, let you into they're society, next thing you know, they're going to be giving you a knew name!"

"William, I had not idea, why didn't you tell me sooner?"

"It's exactly for that reason, that magic...did something to your head!"

"William, I'm fine." Joey reassured him.

"Oh, one more thing, it wasn't all entirely that... it's well...how do I say this?" William began to tremble, Joey could see the beads of sweat forming on his face. He put a hoof on his shoulder.

"Well... don't tell any of them... but I kind of, sort of... want to be turned into a pony, a pegasus/kirin hybrid to be specific." Joey stumbled back. Of all the things William wanted, this struck him as among the strangest.

"But...why?" He asked." I thought you hated them."

"Well, that's very complicated... it all started a few years ago, I started having dreams about it... Mostly, I just want to fly under my own power..." Joey could hear the shakiness in his voice.

"Well... that, and..." William's voice cracked.

"Huh." Was all Joey could reply with. He was still confused, and what William had said barely made things clearer.

"Well, I mean... I you want to so badly, why don't you just ask the prince-" William stopped him.

"No, please don't." All Joey could do was nod.

"Well, if it's any consolation, back in Seaquestria, for the few seconds that you were transformed... well... there was a pair of wing's on your back." This seemed to lift William's spirits.

"Well, I'm glad I could enjoy it for all of 6 second's."

"You sure you don't want to ask-"

"No." The both of them chuckled.

"Heh, still hate this world." William cracked a dim smile. Looking up at the sky, he patted his holster, where his sidearm sat.

The level of nonsense I deal with on a daily basis is unparaled

The 9 of them continued their way south. William walked in silence, far ahead of the rest of them. Grumbling to himself. Finally he turned back to them.

"Where exactly are you dragging us Twilight? You said south, were exactly south?" She looked at him, confused.

"Well, I didn't exactly catch that part-"

"Oh really? You didn't catch it? Well then how are we supposed to know were to go?"

"She said to find the queen of the Hippo's." William put his hand on his forehand and groaned.

"And pray tell, where might that be!?" She didn't answer him back.

"Yep, that's what I thought." William scowled, looking off into the distance. For all he knew, this jurney that he had willingly gone along for could take days, or even weeks on foot. Which may not have been much for his equine compainions, but he was in no way ok with this. As the hours went on, he slowly began to grow more an more tired, he took a look at his watch.
It read 8:00 PM, he looked up to see that it was still bright outside, that the sun had still not set, it sat just at the edge of the horizon. Irritated and exausted, he sat down on a nearby stump.

"All of you, stop walking."

"Why? Its still daytime." Asked Joey.

"My watch says its 8:00 PM!"

"Oh."

"That, and I'm tired, we make camp here!"

"But we didn't bring any-" Rainbow dash was cut off when William snapped his fingers, and a camp stove, and 9 olive green tents appeared in front of them.

"You were saying? Now, make yourselves at home. Joey, Rainbow, go look for food, preferably something we can all eat." He gestured to himself. I'm tired, wake me when you're back, or if the storm kings forces find us." Joey rolled his eyes, but obliged. The 2 of them headed off into the wood, William reclined back on a cot, and began to fall asleep. He soon found himself reawaken by Joey, who had returned, thankfully with something edible he got off his cot, and crawled outside his tent to see what they had found. Blueberries.

"Well, that's good, but we're going to need something a tad bit more substantial. "He shrugged, and devoured his portion, returning to his tent as soon as he was finished. Collapsing on his cot, he was asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.

"Sure is strange one ain't he?" Asked Applejack

"Indeed he is." Replied Joey.

The next day William to pinkie yelling in his ear.

"GAHHHHH! Can a person get any quiet in this world?!" She, didn't respond, bouncing out of his tent. He got to his feet and stumbled out of his tent. Looking around to find the six, spike, and Joey waiting for him.

"Ya'll couldn't let me have a few more hours. No? Well, lets go." he snapped his fingers, and the tents disappeared. They continued walking towards...Where ever they were headed. He looked back up at the sky, the sun seemed to have magically moved back to the far side of sky, despite night never occurring, and the moon never rising.

"William, question." Joey trotted up to him. "What's wrong with the sun?"

"Well, that's a very good question..." He gave him a basic rundown of how the solar cycle of this world worked. Or at least, how he had been told it worked. After all, he still didn't fully trust the Equestrian government. Williams explanation hadn't been enough to satisfy him, so he trotted back to Twilight and her friends, hopping they would elaborate more. Unfortunately, their response was the same, he went back to his friend, and began ranting.

"You're ok with changing species, but their explanation for how the sun and moon work in their world isn't good enough for you?"

"Yes, and for the record, I am completely fine with being one of these ponies. Because of these." He extended his wings.

"Stop, now." William motioned for Joey to leave him be.

The next five days went on mostly without incident. The 9 of them crossed mountain ranges, forded rivers, passing signs of the storm kings conquest. And occasionally stopping in towns to rest. Usually being thrown out on account of either Joey's confusion, Williams demeanor, or a combination of the 2. At last, they had finally made it all the way to Equestria's border. Where the plains of southern Equestria met the harsh desert of the badlands.

"So, the forest wasn't enough universe, now you're making me trek through desert?" He swapped out his helmet for a nice desert brown combat hat. He checked his camel pack, 2.5 liters of water. He groaned.

"Tell me, are there by any chance any wells, or you know, water source's out there?" He found that he was alone, and the Joey, and the other 7 of them were already making there way into the desert.

"Eh, fine, when they're dying of dehydration I ain't helping them." He headed down towards them. He was not the only one displeased with Twilights decision.

10 minutes later...

Joey spoke up. "Twilight, why did you drag us out here?"

2 hours later...

"I'm sweating buckets, can we please find some shade?" Twilight looked back at him, then back at her friends. They soon found a rock outcropping, and sat down under it. They noticed that William was surprisingly unfazed by the desert.

"Hey William, I thought you'd be in much more pain than you are right now-"

"Alright, first of all Joey, it's not actually that hot, ok, its 102 degrees in the sun right now, maybe if you didn't have all that fur you'd be more com-"

"Oh really? Your bringing that up again? What's with you, every single time I bring this kind of stuff up, hooves, wings, whatever, you always shoo away from it, why?"

"Joey, just stop it. Here, have a cactus." He stepped out from under the overhang, grabbing a barrel cactus which he had spotted earlier. He cut off its top, and passed it to him.

"You're welcome." Joey stared at him for a moment, and than drank the water inside it.

"Were'd you learn that?" Asked Twilight.

"Man vs wild."

"What's that?"

"Nevermind, given the expression on your faces, I take it you want some as well?" They gave him a collective nod.