Unrepairable

by Caedro

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: A New Generation, Sunny Starscout, Hitch Trailblazer, Death, Sprout, Alternate Universe, Sad
Length: 1577

Sprout's mommy is gone, and it's all his fault.

All Sprout wanted to do was protect his loved ones. Instead, he accidentally took away the life of the pony he cared about most in the world. Forgiving himself will be impossible... but perhaps his foalhood friends can offer some comfort during his time of grief and solitude.

Sort of a "What if" story, about what would've happened if Sprout hadn't been able to divert Sprouticus Maximus in time (after Phyllis jumped in front of it).

Cover art by Aga_Wisnia

Published 2021-11-16 17:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2021-11-16 17:10:01 UTC

Some damage cannot be undone

Sunny Starscout gazed up at her lighthouse, the home she had known her entire life. After weeks of repair, it stood strong and tall; its foundation had been reinforced, its cracks sealed, and now its red-and-white stripes seemed to glitter in the sunlight.

Hitch Trailblazer, Sunny's closest friend since foalhood, stood at her side. "The construction ponies did a fantastic job, didn't they? They said if the lighthouse had taken one more hit, the whole thing could've come toppling down!"

His tone was light, the weather was bright and clear, and Sunny's home was as good as new. Yet none of that chased away the dark burden that weighed over her head--over everypony's heads. For nopony would ever be able to forget how Phyllis Cloverleaf had jumped in front of her son's war machine in an attempt to stop his path of destruction--and he hadn't been able to stop in time. The tragedy had been enough to not only break Sprout out of his rage, but also to reunite the three pony breeds after they witnessed what hatred and disharmony could do. Now, differences had been put aside and pegasi and unicorns got their magic back. But a life had been lost all the same.

Sunny took in a deep breath through her nostrils, before speaking in a fragile tone. "Hitch, I... I think it's time we check on Sprout."

One of his eyebrows raised slightly, but he held his tongue about any misgivings he might've had. "Are you sure?"

Sunny nodded slowly. "Yes. I know what he did, but... he didn't mean for it to happen. And it's been nearly a month since we last spoke with him. I think he's had enough time to himself."

"All right. I'll go with you."

The two of them made their way to Phyllis' home--now just Sprout's home--at an unhurried pace. Sunny had no idea what she would say, or what she could even do. All she knew was that she wanted Sprout to be okay. They had been friends once. And while it was true he shouldn't have sought war against the unicorns and pegasi, that wasn't entirely his fault either. That was the product of being raised in such a broken society, being fed lies and fear from the moment of his birth.

They arrived at the doorstep of their destination. Hitch exchanged a somber glance with Sunny before lifting his front hoof to ring the doorbell. They waited for a couple of minutes, but no response came. Hitch rang the doorbell once again.

"Sprout! Are you in there?" Sunny hollered. Still, there was no answer. She hesitantly stepped forward and nudged the front door, prompting it to open slightly. "It's not locked," she remarked under her breath.

In any other circumstance, Hitch would have scolded Sunny for even entertaining the thought of entering somepony's home without their permission. However, they couldn't very well turn back and leave their old friend to suffer in sadness alone. Hitch followed Sunny into the house, the two of them keeping their hoofsteps light. As they padded their way to Sprout's room, Sunny's ears pricked when they picked up the sound of vehement sobbing. She broke into a trot until she barged her way into Sprout's room, with Hitch following soon after.

Sprout was curled up on his bed, his mane a tousled mess, and his eyelids puffy and darkened while rivers of tears flowed down his cheeks. He seemed to stop crying for a mere second as he stared at the two ponies who had just intruded, before he buried his face in his pillow and the loud bouts of wailing continued.

"Hey, Sprout... We're here for you," Sunny told him in a tender murmur as she proceeded towards him. His shoulders were quaking with every sob that escaped, muffled by the pillow now enveloping his face.

"Leave me alone!" Sprout screamed into the pillow. "You're just here to punish me, and put me in jail! But I don't wanna leave mommy's house!"

"We're not here to punish you," Hitch insisted as he took steps closer to where Sprout lay, though he still lingered behind Sunny, unsure if he would reach any success in comforting the grieving stallion. "What happened was... punishment enough. We're just here to help you."

Sprout lifted his head, his gaze harrowed by anger and despair. There was a large damp spot on the pillow where endless tears had spilled. "Help me? How? I just want mommy back! I wish it was all a nightmare... please, please, please let it be one long and horrible nightmare..."

The rage seemed to drain from his voice as he went on, succumbing only to sorrow.

Sunny sat on the edge of his bed and placed a gentle hoof on his back. She noticed he was a lot thinner than she remembered, and guessed he hadn't been feeding himself properly. "I'm sorry we can't change what happened, Sprout. And I'm sorry we didn't come to you earlier. But we're listening now, and I want you to know that it wasn't your fault--"

"IT WAS MY FAULT!" Sunny flinched from the intensity of his retort, his muscles going rigid as he tensed up. "I RAN OVER HER! I couldn't slow down! I killed my m-mommy..."

Hitch watched on with a saddened expression, tears pricking at his own eyes. He paced over until he was close enough to gently rub Sprout's head. "Let it all out, buddy... it's okay."

Sprout withdrew from Hitch's touch with a choking sob, before exploding into another ramble. "I was SCARED! I was so, so scared that pegasi would come and snatch my mommy away, or that unicorns would melt all my friends' brains! I thought I was SAVING everypony's lives! But everything I was taught turned out to be a lie, and now mommy is dead all because of me a-and... oh Sunny, Hitch, what am I supposed to do without her!?"

Sunny's and Hitch's hearts ached at the desperation in Sprout's voice. Apparently done with words for the moment, he returned to doing nothing more than weeping. He squeezed his eyes shut and buried himself in his blankets as if such a simple act could shield him from grim reality. Sunny was reminded of the time following the death of her own parent--she had cried every day for weeks, and then months, and nothing came close to easing the pain aside from the sluggish passing of year after year.

"Listen to me, Sprout. I can't claim to know exactly how you're feeling right now, but I do understand what it's like. When I lost my father--" Her voice hitched when her throat constricted with grief, and she swallowed before resuming. "It felt as if the whole world had shattered to pieces, and would never be the same again. And... I was kind of right."

Sprout didn't open his eyes or lift his head, but his ears pointed upwards as he listened.

Sunny continued. "It's been years and it still hurts. Whenever I think of him, and the fact that he's gone, I still feel like a million knives are stabbing my chest, and like there's a raging fire burning in my head. But it doesn't hurt as much as it used to. I promise, there will come a time when you're able to live a normal life again."

"B-but how?" Sprout demanded in a hoarse voice. He opened his eyes at last as he fixed Sunny with a questioning stare that glistened with thick tears. "How am I supposed to feel good ever again knowing that my mommy isn't in this world with me? She can no longer smile, no longer enjoy her favorite music, no longer go cloud-watching with me, or do or think or feel or say anything!!"

Hitch settled onto the bed with the other two ponies. "Think about what your mom would want," he suggested.

Sprout sniffled loudly and looked at him. "What do you mean?"

"Your mom loved you, right?"

Sprout nodded, and so Hitch went on. "She would want nothing more than for you to be happy. She would be devastated if she knew how much you were hurting over what had happened. So please... can you give us a smile, for her sake?"

With shaky breaths, Sprout managed to sit upright, and the corners of his mouth twitched, but then he planted his face into his front hooves as he broke into a fresh round of sobs.

"Ssh, it's okay..." Hitch murmured, pressing closer to Sprout. "Maybe not today, or tomorrow, but one day you'll be able to smile again."

Sunny threw her forelegs around Sprout and held him in an empathetic hug. "Just keep surviving. That's all you can do for now. Survive because your mom would've wanted you to. And further down the line... it'll all begin to hurt just a little bit less."

Hitch joined in on the hug, and they both embraced the stallion between them while he continued to weep and bawl. His whimpers pierced their ears and his tears dripped onto their fur, but they would stay by his side for as long as he needed. They all knew there was no way they could make him feel better, and that he would not be okay for a long, long time. But he wasn't alone.

And making sure he wasn't alone was all they could do.