Author's Note
Just a random thing.
One and Only
Celestia carefully plods along the castle hallway, almost all of her attention laser-focused on just keeping the wobble from her gait as she moved towards her room. The guardsmare to Celestia's right kept in step, utterly silent as they steadily moved forward. This wing of the castle wasn't left entirely unscathed after- after Luna. The ceiling of the hallway had its fair share of holes, and most of the once ornate windows had been blown out. Only Celestia's room was left essentially untouched. The aftermath had left extensive damage far beyond just the castle- and though every single fiber in her body writhed at being here- she refused to take up space within a home that could instead be housing displaced ponies.
There'd be a new castle, eventually. Soon. A castle far, far away from this one. Until then she'd handle her duties outside, return and fall into a dreamless sleep, wake up, and cycle through it all again. Everypony had a weight to carry, now. She could handle sleeping within the den of her failures for a time. It's the least she deserves.
Celestia stumbles, her momentary dive into her own thoughts enough to let her body try and collapse itself upon the floor. Celestia's head bobs violently to the side as she tries to correct herself. She's sure her mane, -now so long and ever-flowing- made companionship with the guardsmare's face, but if it did, said mare made no effort to make it known.
The guard pushes herself against Celestia's side, helping Celestia pull herself out of her lean and back into a more oriented position. Celestia huffs a quiet breath, adding another to the pile of disappointments she's built for herself. She looks to her living cane to apologize only to see the mare is already staring back at her. She's near impeccably trained, able to keep her worry from overtaking the stoic mask upon her face.
"We are but a moment from your quarters, Highness. You'll be allowed your reprieve, soon."
Celestia works her jaw, looking back into the deep silver blue of the mare's eyes. Status... no, Stratus. Stratus, her name is. Celestia resolves herself to simply nod, and they fall back into their slow, but sure efforts to Celestia's room.
Stratus' professionalism is deeply appreciated. Celestia normally loathes showing her weariness so openly, but at the moment she's simply too tired to feel anything but the tiny pangs of shame that are quickly smothered back under.
It has been four days since Celestia slept last.
After she... sent Luna away, there was so much to do. Meetings to attend, citizenry to try and calm. It felt like every new day uncovered some new, awful problem. Violent animals that were emboldened by the extended night, the back and forth with her scouts in the search for a suitable area for the new castle. The first three days she had been able to afford herself the tiniest periods of sleep- but on the fourth, she felt so utterly hopeless in facing the things she'd have to start and continue tomorrow that she simply worked far into the night. When she finally pulled herself from her desk, it was time for her to bring forth the morning.
She kept to that cycle far longer than she should have. It took every single ounce of her energy to simply answer back to questions in a way that was coherent, let alone useful today. When her adviser informed her that the rest of her day was surprisingly free, she knew she couldn't waste this chance. An afternoon nap, to refresh her mind and body.
It takes a second for Celestia to realize she's now within her room. She looks behind her, taking in the door still being held open by Stratus. Celestia blinks. Blinks again as she slowly realizes she should probably say something.
"Thank you," She begins with the weakest of rasps. "Your assistance is most valued, my good mare."
Stratus dips her head, the closest to a bow she'll get as she still holds the door ajar with her hoof. "I'll be back in a few hours as was requested by your adviser, Highness. None shall bother you until then." With that Stratus steps back, door sliding shut as she turns to head back down the hallway.
Celestia keeps still for a moment, her mind taking its precious time in gathering that she's alone again, now. Slowly, she begins to gingerly shuck her golden shoes off of her hooves one by one, wincing at the flare of a headache that makes itself known as she levitates her crown to rest upon her bedside table.
Shifting the covers back, Celestia lowers herself into bed, heaving a sigh as her body sinks down into the mattress. She wiggles and rolls about until finally, she's content to just lay on her back, staring at the ceiling. She keeps her mind perfectly blank, because if her thoughts are allowed to roam they'll assuredly make her more miserable than she already is.
After a few long minutes, Celestia is asleep.
"...ness!"
Who?
"...et up!"
Celestia stirs, rolling from her right side and back onto her back. Her eyes remain closed.
The voice briefly goes silent, and Celestia nearly falls back asleep, only for the pressure of a hoof to fall upon her shoulder. She's gently jerked about as the hoof pressed against her in a continuous prod. Slowly, Celestia rises. Her joints creak and her headache returns with a vengeance, meshing terribly with the fog shrouding her mind. She pulls a hoof to her temple, eyes still unopened. "Is something...?"
Stratus pulls back from the bed, gesturing towards the balcony. "Your few hours are up, Highness. It's time to lower the sun and raise the moon."
Confusion washes over Celestia and she finally looks to Stratus. And raise the moon? The question leaves her mouth before the implications can fully hit her.
"Where is Luna?"
Stratus stiffens. The haze that had encased Celestia's mind instantaneously lifts.
Celestia tightens her jaw and forces herself from her bed, even with how heavy every single limb of hers now feels. She shambles past Stratus and steps out on the balcony. There is little poise in the way she all but drags her sun from the sky. Closing her eyes, she then reaches out for the moon. The pressure that bears down on her horn is unbearable as it collides with her headache.
With a grunt that quickly shifts into a brief dry-heave, the moon now hangs in the night sky. It takes every bit of self-control within Celestia to not look at it. She will never get accustomed to this.
Celestial duties done for a time, she turns around and sees Stratus is still standing, watching. Celestia stares back at her. The silence weighs in heavy around them both until finally:
"I'm... sorry, Your Highness."
The guardsmare can't even begin to comprehend the many ways that Celestia is, too.
Stratus turns, and after sending Celestia another look, disappears through the bedroom doors. Celestia slinks back to her bed, making no effort to move the covers as she throws herself atop them. She rolls onto her side and stares at the wall until morning.