An Exonaut & The tale of Two Journals

by Zalmax

Rating: everyone
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, Random, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Human, Comedy
Length: 2353

A human visits Equestria and two points of view describes what happens.

The first human to travel to Equestria. In this elog (Equestria Log), we get to read the human and Twilight describe the encounter (but with different points of view).

This is more of a introduction for how a human ends up in Equestria. So slice-of-random and not an adventure or drama.

Getting some cover art is on my todo list. (If you can draw a stick figure, I can use that!)

Hollywood style synopsis: In this amazing tantalizing drama we experience a riveting thrilling tale describing two very different destinies, converging into one, as they are forced to overcome their differences and come together on their way to a mutual future.

Published 2021-11-18 13:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2021-11-18 13:10:01 UTC

So many days... (so we skip most of them)

Human, Day 0 (unspecified): Years of searching is celebrated as a life-supporting world has finally been detected.

The scientists agree that my body will have the highest chance of surviving the transfer, so I got the offer to be the first traveler through the wormhole. Many fellow exonauts happily congratulated me and wished me luck. Some of them through clenched teeth. Trying to hide their seething, as the least merited exonaut took what they considered their rightful spot. What can I say? My body, my mind, and wormhole compatibility – my ticket to fame!

I’m nervous. I prefer waving to the cameras instead of thinking about the dangers. Although every measurement we can take indicates a life-supporting environment, it’s no guarantee.

Electromagnetic radiation charts looks great, but data samples are sporadic and radiation or temperature bursts may happen.

Spectrographs indicate a good nitrogen-oxygen balance, but trace poisonous chemicals may be lethal.

Air pressure is in the same ballpark, so we presume gravity is the same, but we can’t sense vibrations so ending up in some 150-decibel environment can kill me.

A few of the disappointed exonauts, with fancy degrees and lifelong training, are trying to psyche me. Telling me that the pressure readings may be wrong, and instead of gas above solid, it may dump me over liquid and I end up swimming until I drown, or so high up above the ground, I’ll die from the fall.

But I psyched them back by chuckling like an idiot, agreeing that I’m useless, yet chosen, implying that must mean they’re even worse.

The rest of the guys are really encouraging. When I come back, I will thank them for their support, in my speeches and interviews.

This will be a short trip. As short as possible. I will return as soon as I recovered enough to survive the return trip. But just like Neil Armstrong, I’m not afraid to go where no man has gone before. I will make history, one way or another.

Human, Day 1: I’m through; and alive!

Looks like a jungle, but no visual dangers spotted. No pungent smells to indicate toxins or bacteriological decay, which is no guarantee. Humans’ nose didn’t evolve to warn of unhealthy molecules in this world.

If I felt sick or poisoned, they told me to return immediately. We both know I wouldn’t survive a return trip without recovering, but they implied an autopsy on my corpse was of great value to science. Well, I value my body more, than they value my corpse. I rather faint here with a chance to wake up, than make a pretty corpse at home.

I lost some hair, but it was to be expected. Keratin far away from ATP generating cells and tissue counts as dead material and won’t be transported. Nails managed fine though. I’m very happy about that. Lost nails may indicate lethal internal damage with a pain that only gets worse.

My head hurts like hell; worst migraine ever! But it should be gone in a day. It’s no worse than expected.

Body pain is about 7-b-4 on the side-effect scale, and my body will need a few days to recover, but I have good faith I will be healthy enough to survive the return trip in two or three days. Then I will announce success and live my life as a hero. (Yay!)

The portal is highly active and looking good. Hopefully it scares away any animals, so I can get some rest.

~~**~~

Twilight, Day 1: Today our scout in the forest sent an emergency message. The anomaly manifested a lot more energy than usual and in conjunction with this, an unknown creature appeared. It doesn’t seem native to the Everfree forest, or Equestria for that matter.

We quickly assembled an observation team of volunteers to surround it. To keep up surveillance if it decides to move around, but also to keep it safe; preventing wild animals and monsters from approaching it. Some scouts will arrive tomorrow and replace the volunteers.

It’s a furless humanoid and it appears nonaggressive. We detect no inherent source of magic, but it’s badly tainted by chaotic magic from the anomaly. It acts scared and keeps constant vigilance for any movement. We’ve thus resorted to observing it through telescope and scrying spells, so we don’t spook it.

It seems to have sensitive skin, as it moves very cautiously, and carefully prepares the ground before lying down, but perhaps it’s because it’s wounded? It relies a lot on vision, so we doubt it’s a subterranean unknown species.

I’ve sent descriptions to the Canterlot library and Princess Celestia, to see if they can find anything in their records. No matter if it matches a confirmed creature or a legendary being. Any matching description can give vital clues.

Hypothesis: The creature is not from any known part of Equestria. It’s a big chance it may be from some other world, and its existence here is because of the anomaly. The creature may be linked physically or psychologically to the chaos anomaly in some unknown way.

Human, Day 2: Ok, this is bad. The portal just disappeared. Now I’m stuck here until it reactivates. Hopefully the guys back home hasn’t turned it off or directed it to some other place, thinking this was a dead dropzone.

I wish I had clothes. Not for protection, but for comfort. Even though the night is warm, despair filled me as the darkness settled. The portal had given me light during the previous night, acting like a campfire, but now it’s almost pitch black. The foliage covers most moonlight and my body still hurts a lot. Couldn’t stop myself from crying. Good thing they can’t see me back on Earth. The first exonaut to reach another world, lying naked below a tree, crying himself to sleep. Pitiful!

~~**~~

Twilight, Day 2: I took the decision to deactivate the chaos anomaly. It put out dangerous amounts of chaotic magic and wasn’t safe. It caused some minor chaotic events to manifest in the Everfree forest, but they have been neutralized. In the end it was best to do something about the source of chaos, before it got worse.

We’ve detected that chaos magic had damaged the creature, and we hope that removing the anomaly will speed up its recovery. We suspect it’s in pain, but it doesn’t seem the wounds are lethal, so we leave it alone for now.

The creature became skittish and agitated as the anomaly disappeared but eventually calmed itself down, and resumed its resting position by its favorite tree. The workgroup can’t explain this behavior. Fluttershy doesn’t believe it’s an animal but the rest of us think it is.

The damage it suffered from the chaos anomaly, indicates chaos isn’t a natural part of its environment, so why did it stay close to it? It may not realize that chaos had damaged it? Or maybe it was more scared of the alien environment than it was of the anomaly? But it also didn’t try and interact with the anomaly, so if it was a gateway as some detection spells indicated, why didn’t it go back?

Hypothesis: The chaos anomaly brought the creature here. Three main ideas behind this hypothesis are being worked upon. Primary – It fell through a portal by accident. Secondary – It was fleeing, and used the chaos anomaly as a desperate last resort to get away. Tertiary – It was held as cattle or imprisoned, inside a cage of chaos, and survived breaking through, ending up here.

Human, Day 3: Saw a weird little purple horse-like being today, wings like an ostrich, horn like a narwhal. Moved and gestured as if it was double-jointed. It approached me slowly and started making weird noises. I tried bonding with it. It may have worked. At least it went away without trying to bite me or chase me away.

So far I’ve only seen lizard and rodents, so it was the largest creature so far. Since it didn’t look like it had anything to fear, maybe it’s this world’s elephant?

~~**~~

Twilight, Day 3: I tried to initiate contact. It didn’t show any fear, so it may be a predator. But it didn’t have fangs or claws, which speaks against it.

I didn’t keep any magic barriers up because I didn’t want to frighten it, but it was also to keep the creature safe, since my shields could hurt it as it pushed away chaotic remains stuck inside its body.

I tried to speak with it, using common tongue mixed with old languages and greetings of various creatures. While doing this, it picked up some grass and tried to push it into my mouth. I chewed it for a bit in case it was some bonding ritual. That act seemed to make it more relaxed.

I decided to leave it alone after that, and informed the others that they should go away if it gives them grass. So far nopony else has approached it, but just in case. Hopefully we will soon learn various ways to communicate, but let this be the first mutual sign we develop.

And for the record, the close visual inspection revealed this humanoid to have male attributes and underdeveloped nipples. So until we have more information, we will sign it off as a male mammal.

Hypothesis: Herbivore with affinity for grass, but probably a different kind than what grows here, as scouts report it hasn’t been eating. Likely to be a pack animal as sharing food is an act of submission.

Human, Day 4: The purple horse was back twice today. I picked some grass for it to eat, and it went away both times. Maybe I’m no longer interesting? Could also be it prefers fruit or berries. With wings like an ostrich it may be related to birds and needs a high-energy food such as nuts and seeds?

I also foraged for water because I’m badly dehydrated. During one training session I went 6 days without water and 22 days without any food, but with clothes and shelter. The biggest difference being I wasn’t wracked in pain for a day. Also, this place is pretty hot with high humidity around the clock.

Hunger mostly disappeared on the third day, which is normal when fasting, but I must have water. From non-poisonous fruit or a freshwater source, free from bacteria and other living organisms.

~~**~~

Twilight, Day 4: We will refer to it as a male mammal for easier labeling in descriptions. The way it relieved itself and the anatomical details was the reason. Still we make no assumptions, as its species can be hermaphrodite or reproduce in a different manner.

The body appears healthy now and no chaos residue can be detected with my spells. Hopefully it has made a full recovery.

It has been restless and looked around, but it always returns to the place we first saw it. We suspect it’s a herd animal separated from its herd by the anomaly. That would explain why it’s reluctant to move out on its own.

We have no observations of it eating grass, or anything else for that matter. The lean body and small stomach suggest it needs high-energy food, so maybe it eats insects? Each forelimb is equipped with a flexible hand, and attached to each are five fingers, which it can use to turn rocks, and manipulate very small object, like insects.

Hypothesis: Insectivore, complementing diet with flora it can recognize.

Human, Day 11: OMG, they are highly intelligent. I feel kinda stupid now, how I initially tried to greet them.

~~**~~

Twilight, Day 11: By the sun, he’s somewhat perspicacious. I feel kind of stupid now, how I didn’t try more complex ways of communication.

Human, Day 98: It’s amazing. They have a whole civilization here near the forest. They have built me a little hut close to my portal, and the purple leader with the horn and wings can transmit basic emotions and simple ideas. It’s a great aid to learn their language.

~~**~~

Twilight, Day 98: He’s afraid to leave the place where he entered our world, so we built him a two-room stable next to it. We now know he came here voluntarily. He was just curious. But now he can’t go back as the anomaly is gone. I can’t help wonder if my neutralizing the chaos magic had something to do with it?

He’s a human, and not very smart. He claims the human species is by far the smartest from where he originates, so he comes from a very stupid world.

We have taught him the basics of our language. It will help the human when dealing with ponies without telepathic spells. I also learnt some of his language and I’m writing a damn book about it. (Damn is a human word he taught me. It’s used to emphasize the word that follows.)

Hypothesis: Humans have without competition from other intelligent species never needed to develop complex wisdom. Thus they make irrational things, like travel to unknown foreign worlds without being sure they can get back.

Human, Day 2735: Twilight told me I should go check if the portal appeared. I’ve asked Fluttershy to keep an eye out for it, and it’s good enough for me. Twilight argues it may be connected to me in such a way it will only re-activate if I’m close to it, or that it needs me for targeting.
Who cares!? She’s such a nag! I’m going to play Ogres and Oubliettes with Spike and Big Mac. It’s awesome!

~~**~~

Twilight, Day 2735: The human pest stole my last cupcakes again. Had another meeting with Celestia about what to do with him. I’m tired of having him mooching in my castle. We built him a hut by the portal when he arrived, and we’ve kept it in shape. He can go live there for all I care.

Theory: Humans are neither herbivores nor predators, but parasites.