I Will Be Strong

by nerothewizard

Rating: teen
Tags: Mr. Cake, Mrs. Cake, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Sad
Length: 1512

Carrot Cake stays by his wife's side as she fights her battle with cancer.

As the light of his life begins to fade away, Carrot Cake stays by her side. But when the end is in sight, what can he say, what can he do, to show that his love is strong?

Image was done by ParadigmPizza on DeviantArt.

Published 2012-09-11 12:54:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-09-11 12:54:01 UTC

I Will Be Strong

When I saw Cup collapse, I knew what it was. I fought against the idea, fought hard, but cold reality soon breached my defenses. She'd been complaining of headaches more frequently, and she was often tired despite getting plenty of sleep, but she shrugged it off, told me it was no big deal, that I shouldn't worry. Ironic, I think, that if I hadn't listened to my wife, maybe we might have caught it in time.

Such a surreal sight stuck with me, played over and over in my mind. She hadn't looked good at all that day, her face a paler blue than usual, but at her insistence, I agreed to let her help me out in the kitchen. Her work pace was slow, her steps dragging, and I was just about ready to tell her to go back and upstairs and rest a little when it happened. In that moment, she didn't even look like my wife, her visage a ghostly white, eyes rolling back, the tray of cookies she'd grasped in her teeth clattering noisily to the tile. I was frozen in place, watching as she fell, only able to react after she was sprawled out on her side, her body twitching.

I knew what had happened. Somehow, in my gut, I was already sure, so the doctor's words didn't shock me like they did her, didn't reduce me to a weeping mess. Even so, it wasn't any easier to learn the hardest truth I'd ever had to hear, nor was it a simple task to break the news of her diagnosis to everypony else. More than one letter sent to a friend or relative in a city far away bore tear-shaped stains. But I had to be strong. For her, I had to soldier on.

Treatment options were pursued, of course. In time, her gorgeous rose mane began to disappear, a victim of therapy, and she started wearing hats or even refusing to go out at all, save for yet another session at the hospital. We had the doctors bombard her body with whatever they thought might give her a chance, and I watched the cheerful, joyous mare I knew descend into depression and frustration. It wasn't enough that this disease was claiming her body, as each test brought back disheartening result after disheartening result; her soul was falling victim as well. I did my best to stay strong and supportive, but some nights, after I'd tucked her into bed and watched her sink into a fitful, restless sleep, I would go downstairs and cry. I would look around me, at the wonderful little bakery we'd built here in Ponyville, and the memories of smiles and days spent filling orders with the wonderful mare would break me. But I never let her see. It was my job to be her rock, and no matter what, that's what I would be.

The final hospital visit almost did me in. She'd been fighting so hard for all those months, wasting away to a shadow of her old self, but all it took was the expression on the doctor's face to let us know that it had all been for naught. The war was lost, and her body's final betrayal was imminent; all we could do now was wait for the inevitable.

Her reaction took me by surprise. There weren't many tears, no shouts or pleas for the doctor to say something different, to provide her with any smidgen of hope that she could cling to. There was only acceptance. I came so close to breaking down, but I didn't know why at first. Now, of course, I know it's because I was jealous. Initially, it made no sense to me; why would I be jealous of my own wife, who'd just received a death sentence? But the truth soon dawned on me. It was because at that moment, when everything was at its darkest, it was Cup Cake, not Carrot Cake, who stood strong.

She's here beside me now, lying in the bed that we've shared for nearly forty years. When given the choice between staying in the hospital and coming home to live out her final days, the decision was an easy one, even if it meant her already numbered days would be fewer. Her mane has been reduced to little more than stubble, and her once round, lively face is gaunt and pale, but she's still my beautiful girl. I clasp her hoof with mine; the doctor didn't give her very much time, and my gut is once again speaking to me, telling me to hold on to every moment tonight.

Pinkie's in the other room, probably trying to get some sleep. She's been staying with us the past few days, helping me take care of Cup while her husband Joe watches their pastry shop in Canterlot. It's been almost like old times, having Pinkie back in Sugarcube Corner, but now, it's noticeably quieter and more subdued. I caught her one night in the kitchen, bawling her eyes out much as I had too many times before, and I just held her as she poured out her sorrow and grief. She was like our first daughter, so I know how hard this is on her. She tries to stay upbeat, but I know she needed that release. We all will before too long.

Pumpkin and Pound arrived in town two days ago. I'm convinced that Cup was doing her best to hang on, just so she could see her babies one final time. They were here all day today, up until just about an hour ago, tears flowing freely as they reminisced about their childhood and shared memories with their mother. I'd forgotten some of the stories they told. We smiled; we laughed; we cried. For one perfect day, we were together as a family again.

Now, it's my time to be alone with the mare I've loved for so many years. Her breathing is labored, and the light in her eyes is fading; I know, deep in my heart, that this is my last chance to say something before her fight is over. I squeeze her hoof to let her know that I'm right here beside her, and she meets my gaze and offers a weak smile.

How can I express a lifetime of love and commitment, of triumphs and tragedies, of raising a family and running a business side by side with the one who stole my heart so long ago? What words can possibly express how much I'll miss her, how I'll think of her every second of every day? Can language even convey that every beat of my heart, every breath in my lungs from this moment forward, will be filled with both the indescribable pain of loss and the confidence that we'll be reunited in the next life?

No words come. I know now that there's no need for them, because one look at her face, even marred by the progress of the unmerciful disease, tells me that she already knows all of that. She looks content, no hints of fear to be found. Her life has been full and productive, and I'm glad to have been able to spend most of it with her. Her warm, soft smile sets my heart soaring, knowing that here, at the end, there's no place she'd rather be than here in her bed, next to the stallion that loves her with every fiber of his being. Every peck on the cheek, every stolen glance, every time we said we loved each other and meant it wholeheartedly, no questions asked; our lives together have told the story better than anything I say ever could, and so the silence is fitting, knowing that there's nothing more to add.

I brush my lips across hers, our final kiss, and stroke her cheek with my hoof as her breathing slows and her eyelids flutter and shut. One last, long exhale, and I can feel her presence slip free of the broken body beside me, part of my soul flying alongside hers into the great unknown. I lower her hoof to the bed and pat it gently, a sort of numbness settling over me as I stare at her unmoving form.

Minutes pass; I don't know how many. A knock catches my attention, and I look up to see Pinkie standing in the doorway. Her eyes glisten, and she chokes out a question to which she already knows the answer. “Is she gone?”

I nod solemnly and sit up, spreading my hooves to receive Pinkie in a tight embrace. There will be tears, much like the ones the pink pony is shedding now as she buries her face in my shoulder. Yes, we will mourn the loss of a beloved wife, mother, and friend, but I won't let the sadness overtake me. For her, I will be strong, just as she was for me, and one day, I know I'll walk by her side once again.