Rainbow Slow: What If Rainbow Lives Her Entire Life in Slow Motion?
Sitting on the bleachers in Canterlot High School's gymnasium, Applejack tightly grasped Twilight Sparkle's hand.
"Why don't you let go, you big oaf?" Twilight hissed.
"Because you've already tried to run away three times today. Ah promised Principal Celestia Ah'd show you around CHS, and that's EXACTLY what Ah mean t' do. Not goin' t'let you skip out on this important school event."
"But...it's sports! I can't learn anything here."
Sunset Shimmer said, "Tell me again why you're at CHS, Twilight."
"You can't prove anything!"
Pinkie Pie giggled. "I thought you were here because a terrible explosion destroyed Crystal Prep, so all the students had to transfer out. But instead you're here because we can't prove anything? Where would you be if people COULD prove something?"
Applejack growled, "Ah reckon, maybe the penitentary."
"It wasn't that bad!" Twilight insisted. "The lab explosion happened after hours and no one was hurt!"
"So it was a lab explosion?" Rarity asked. "Who does extra science labs after hours when everyone else has gone home? Do we know anyone like that?"
Twilight groaned. "Please, just shut up, Rariponks or whatever your name is."
Sunset said, "You're here to learn about school spirit. We need you to get so much school spirit, you'll be careful not to blow up our school. No offense."
Twilight seethed quietly.
***
On Rainbow's first day as a freshman at Canterlot High, she'd had to show each of her teachers a note from her doctor.
Dear Canterlot High School,
Rainbow Slow suffers from an unusual affliction. She lives her entire life in slow motion. She might need additional time to complete some tasks.
To her, your normal human speech might sound very sped up and high-pitched like mosquito noises. I recommend you make all essential information available in written form.
Please afford her all necessary and appropriate accommodations.
Doctor Bouncy Pronk
(illegible scrawl)
***
In the bleachers, Twilight asked, "What is a Jigoro Kano Memorial Judo-Wrestling Tournament anyway? Don't they know western-style wrestling and Japanese martial arts are two different things?"
"Don't worry about that!" Pinkie said. "Just watch and have fun."
***
As Rainbow (slowly!) walked down a hallway between rows of lockers, Sunset Shimmer stepped into her path. "Hey, freshman!"
After a few seconds, Rainbow said, "Aren't. We. Both. Freshmen?"
"I'm queen of this high school, and you AREN'T. Get the picture?"
Several yards down the hall, Applejack whispered to Fluttershy, "Ain't that a friend of your'n? Ah don't like how that new girl is treatin' her."
Fluttershy held one finger up to her own lips.
Sunset said, "You're the slowest student in this whole school. You ought to be fun to play with. I think I'll just take your lunch money right out of your purse."
Sunset fell down, somehow tripping over one of Rainbow's legs.
Applejack whispered, "What just happened?"
Fluttershy whispered, "If you move slowly enough, it's very hard for people to notice you're moving at all. That's exactly Rainbow's natural speed of movement."
"Huh. So you're tellin' me, because she's SLOW, nobody can even see her coming if she don't want them to?"
"Pretty much. I guess technically they can see her, but they just don't notice."
No sooner did Sunset stand up, than she fell down again.
"Did she do that too? How?"
Fluttershy smiled. "Because Rainbow can't move quickly, she's had to learn how to make a small, slow movement do the work of a big one."
Sunset fell over again, slamming her body into a row of lockers.
***
"As you know," Principal Celestia said in the center of the gymnasium, "This event combines western wrestling with judo."
"What does that even mean?" Twilight complained.
"Techniques, scoring, and all the other rules might look like a haphazard combination, but the system is very well thought out," Celestia explained.
Twilight whined, "That's not an explanation! That's just an...unwarranted assertion!"
"Don't worry so much!" Pinkie said.
"Yeah, sugarcube. Thanks to Rainbow Slow, we're the best-rated school for Jigoro Kano Memorial Judo-Wrestling in the whole Friendship League."
***
Rainbow's teacher might have believed she was slowly sneaking up on Rainbow.
To Rainbow, however, it looked like a series of sudden, jerky lurches. Also, thanks to her many readings and rereadings of Daring Do books, Rainbow had given a lot of thought to the different ways people can try to trick and trap each other. With Rainbow's ability to move without anyone noticing, it was easy for the freshman to sneak some 'special documents' into her book before the teacher reached her desk.
"Rainbow!" the teacher scolded. "What is that you're reading in class? You should be paying attention!"
Rainbow slowly laid her opened Daring Do novel down on the desk. In the open portion of the book, the teacher's official lecture notes lay on top of the sensational adventure fiction's text.
"Oh. So you were just using the book...to hold your notes upright?"
Rainbow pointed at her ear.
Not wanting to spend much time struggling to speak in an extremely low pitch and several times slower than usual, the teacher just said, "Caaaarrrryyy oonnnn," and turned to walk back towards the front of the room.
As Rainbow lifted her novel back up, she smiled.
***
"First up," Celestia said, "Miss Nenenenene Nenene!"
"What kind of a name is that?" Twilight complained. On the other side of the gymnasium, unfamiliar students wearing school uniforms were too shy and polite to make any loud noises.
"Sounds like maybe some kind of foreign," Applejack said. "Ah reckon she's here representin' the judo side of things."
"And in the other corner, Canterlot High's own Rainbow Slow!"
Twilight sputtered. "What kind of a name is Slow? What was wrong with her parents?"
"Ah reckon you're pretty darn critical, Twilight. Seein' as how you don't even lahk a traditional name lahk Nenenenene Nenene."
"What's traditional about that?"
"Ah reckon if she's a traditional Japanese martial artist, pretty much everythin' about her is probably traditional. Don't you reckon?"
"Sure!" Pinkie agreed. "Why not?"
Twilight muttered, "You people are all nuts."
The two contenders walked into an area of the floor covered by mats, and bowed to each other at a distance of several yards.
Celestia said, "Three! Two! One! Begin!"
Miss Nenene, the blond-haired, blue eyed Japanese(?) girl, ran towards Rainbow faster than any normal human eye and brain could follow. She reached out to grip Rainbow's arm, stepped in close and low while turning so her own back was against Rainbow's front, and grunted.
She looked very surprised.
"What just happened?" Twilight asked.
"Rainbow's body can't move quickly," Pinkie said. "So if you TRY to make her move quickly, you just...fail."
The blonde Japanese grunted again.
She grunted a third time, louder.
Twilight noticed that Rainbow had stepped back. The blonde attacker fell over sideways onto the mat, but rolled away and came up back up onto her feet without even slowing down.
"Fall! One point!" Celestia shouted.
The blonde glared angrily at Rainbow for a moment, but took time to carefully compose herself into a perfectly calm state, like a slimy, algae-filled pond on a morning without even the slightest breeze. She charged in again, both arms extended to grab Rainbow.
"I can't look," Fluttershy said.
***
"To be fair," Fluttershy said, "Rainbow is a very fast reader. She gets a lot of practice reading, because she can't hold normal conversations easily. And because she reads so many Daring Do books, of course."
Ten minutes later, Sunset Shimmer noticed a piece of paper laid out on the center of the lunchroom table. The note said, "I easily defeated your schemes to break up our friendships. Surrender and accept friendship, or else."
"Ha ha," Sunset said, her jaw tense. "I guess I...have no choice." She stuck out her hand towards Rainbow. "Offer accepted." Sunset glanced around at the other girls, who seemed to approve. "Please teach me the ways of friendship. I don't think I can handle another crushing defeat. Please."
About fifty seconds later, Sunset noticed Rainbow's hand clasping her own. "So it's a deal?" Sunset asked.
"........yyyessssss."
"This is good," Fluttershy said. "Rainbow is the best friend in the whole world. You'll really like being her friend. And if you don't, of course, you can just try some more evil villain stuff and lose again."
"Heh heh," Sunset replied nervously. "Please don't hurt me, Rainbow."
***
"The winner, by five hundred and eighty points...is Rainbow Slow!" Celestia smiled. "I congratulate Miss Nenene on her excellent sportspersonship."
The blonde Japanese in question charged at Rainbow again, but somehow ran right past her.
"You see?" Pinkie Pie squealed. "Canterlot High School is really fun!"
"Sure," Twilight said.
Pinkie hugged Twilight. "You can really learn a lot here!"
***
Twilight Sparkle lay on her bed, looking and feeling bored. She held her dog Spike up above her, and talked to him (as if dogs could hold conversations! Ha!)
"I really wish I had something special to do today," Twilight said. "What if there was something amazing to investigate, like magical radiation escaping from somewhere in town, so I could discover it and get in all kinds of wacky adventures like ripping holes in the fabric of reality?"
She sighed. "If there ever really WAS such a thing as a magical radiation leak, someone who's really good at solving problems seems to have fixed it." She slumped in her chair. "Guess there's nothing to do but sneak into Crystal Prep's chemistry lab after hours again. This time I'll make some nitroglycerin. A deadly explosive that's ALSO a lifesaving heart medication? How can I say no to that?"
Spike barked.
"Oh, who cares what YOU think? I'm going to go do it right now!"
Author's Note
Jigoro Kano, creator of the SPORT of Judo, is well worth remembering! 
Nenene comes from an AU version of an anime and manga series named partly after one of Rainbow's favorite hobbies. Unfortunately, fimfiction.net doesn't have a dedicated tag for crossovers with 'Read Or Die.' But at least she has a silly name!
