Ty was a lot of things at the moment, but unconscious was not one of them. It's a little sad he was starting to miss the sleep-like sensation being comatose brings.

But for now, as he wasn't sleeping like someone lucky might've gotten to, he felt really off. Well, he felt off the moment he arrived in Equestria, so maybe he's just like that. Or maybe Ty's supposed to feel this way, and he's actually been feeling off the entire time before this.

What does feeling off entail? Maybe it means that he just hasn't felt like himself. 'And no, that does not mean I've felt like Pinkie. Or at least, not entirely like Pinkie.'

For another thing, it's gone.

What's gone?

Yes. Name something, and it is no longer visible. Ty probably didn't notice it at first because he's used to waking up in places he doesn't recognize [Don't make an alcohol joke]. Perhaps this place would be classified as a void of some sort, black everything.

One thing Ty knew for sure, though. He was completely lost, and he was completely alone.

[Hello.]

"GAH! AGAIN, MOTHER-"

Ty's startled sentiment was cut off as he lost his balance and fell over backwards, folding over himself into a clam shape. He untangled himself, slowly standing up while muttering, "*Ugh* Alright, who the flip is it this time?"

Now straightened out, though wary with a slightly hunched back, Ty frantically looked around for the thing that made that noise. But, of course he saw nothing. "Oh, great. Just great. Pony after pony show up, just talks to me, I get knocked unconscious. Look, I get the pattern already." Ty waved his forelegs around sporadically. "And now guess who our special guest star is? THAT'S RIGHT! It's the VOICES IN MY HEAD!"

[Ty, I'm right here.]

"Yeah, yeah, sure, whatever. Now let me wake up already and I'll get back to running around aimlessly."

[No, Ty, I'm serious, I'm right- Oh wait. I bet this is one of those 'beings whose forms are not understandable by mortals' situations. One second here-]

And that's when Ty practically went blind from the great white flash going off in front of him. The 'grand reveal' of sorts made up for it, though.

Now standing there in font of him was a tall, white pony, sat down on her haunches and staring down at him. Her reddish mane spilled down her slimmed shoulders in the back and obscured the tops of her baby blue eyes in the front. Said mane was parted by a long white horn, framed by her open wings. The sight of her made pinpricks appear in the eyes of her beholder.

(Translation: Ty is absurdly bucked.)

The smaller pony stepped back, holding one forehoof in front of him and the other behind him as he continued his slow retreat. "Dear. GOD."

[Yep, that's me!] The mare smiled, before raising a forehoof to her chin. [Well, I guess I'm not God exactly. But I'm pretty much the closest thing Equestria has to one.]

Ty said nothing as he continued to cower behind his forehoof. [Wait... are you... scared of me?] No response. [You know who I am, right? It's me? Lauren Faust?]

...

[Look kid, if you're going to meet God, the least you can do is be courteous.]

'Look, I'm trying to. But it's hard to even believe who I'm supposedly talking to. Or that she even wants to talk to me. I mean, at least I think that she's talking,' Ty thought.

"...O-Ok. Yeah, I can do that," Ty breathed. "Uh... Hi. H-How are you?"

[Good, thank you.] She smiled at him before her horn lit up. [And I can see you aren't doing particularly well.]

"What do you mean?"

[I mean, come on! Just look at your review from Nurse Redheart!] Her horn flashed, summoning a long parchment next to her. [Your weight is practically negative, your ribs are visible from half a mile away, you'rebasicallydead, you're allergic to poison joke, THAT'S a bad one, and you've been diagnosed with equinophobia, ramplophobia, pantophobia, ichthyophobia-]

"Wait a second," he interrupted. "Did you say... Nevermind, must've misheard you. I get everything in there except the phobias. I never answered any questions, so how'd they get all that?"

[Well, that's actually a funny story.] Faust laughed to herself. [You know that gemstone you threw at my favorite pony friend group? It turns out that it was enchanted with tons of recovery and info-gathering spells. On an unrelated note, you owe Ponyville Hospital a few hundred bits, now.]

"You know, I thought it was a little strange they never asked me to pay for treatment. Thought for sure that would've been the first thing they said to me."

Faust blinked at him for a moment before her eyes grew in realization. [Oh, right! You're from the states, aren't you? Well, here in Equestria, healthcare is free. All paid for by the crown. The fact that magic exists makes it easier and cheaper, so that helps.]

"The crown?" Ty asked. "As in Celestia and Luna?"

[Those're the ones!] She confirmed.

A snort was her reply. "Great. Nice to know they have some level of decency."

[Well of course they do. They are the benevolent dictators of the greatest nation in all of fiction, you know.]

'Well, you're a bit full of yourself, aren't you?' Ty thought.

[I can hear that, you know.]

"Oh." He slumped. "Sorry."

[I get it, you know. It's perfectly fine to be upset with her and her student.]

"It's not just that," he responded. "It feels like no matter how much I have to deal with them, Celestia's never even concerned about the actions of her supposed 'Princess of Friendship' and her friends. Where was she the whole time?" He asked bitterly.

She just laughed in response.

[Oh, you silly little horse. You still think Celestia isn't doing anything about all this. Here, why don't we see what she's doing right this very second. From the point of view of somepony else entirely!] Faust exclaimed, horn glowing to summon a glowing rectangular panel. Said panel displayed static for a few seconds, before cutting to a view of a purple alicorn. A black box displaying the text "Y7" hovered above her as a pleasant musical intro started in the background.

Twilight, with rather dark bags under her eyes and a very frayed mane, was not having a particularly good day. You'd've thought the Princess of Friendship would've been able to ask for and get a good day whenever she wanted, but even royalty don't have that much power. She thought going out and getting her longer-than-usual list of errands done might help her relax, but it didn't do all that much for her. Now hauling around her groceries and a small amount of writing supplies, she trudged back into the Golden Oaks Library.

"Spike! I'm back!" Twilight halfheartedly shouted as she turned around to nudge the door shut with her nose, before backing up into a large, furred, very, very hot mass. She turned around and fought to keep her eyes open and greet the pony she accidentally bumped into.

"Oh, hi Princess Celestia... Is there a book I can help you find or... PRINCESS CELESTIA!?" Twilight screamed, shaking herself awake and frantically fixing her mane. "W-what are you doing here? The library's a mess, I'm a mess, I don't have anything ready-"

"Yes, I can see that," Celestia said, looking from the dented pane of a rounded window at the top of the stairs, scuff marks lining said stairs, and the books knocked out of the shelf directly across from the stairs. Celestia herself looked not quite like herself. Her pupils were slightly smaller than normal, and her mane was billowing at least triple its normal speed. Sweat was visibly dripping down her barrel, falling onto the ground and evaporating into steam. Despite the fact she was shaking, her overall tense appearance was betrayed by her usual calm and serene smile. "You've really made a mess of things haven't you?"

"Yes, but-"

"Oh, I'm not talking about the library, Twilight," Celestia interrupted, her smile wavering slightly. She approached the smaller alicorn slowly, Twilight backing away from her while hunched close to the ground. Her ears flopped down the sides of her head. "I am talking about quite literally everything else." With every word her voice became higher and lighter, as if she was struggling to even get the message out of her head.

Celestia laughed softly and put a hoof to the side of her head, her mane shifting out of the way of it as if scared. "I don't know what I expected, you and your friends have been learning the most wonderful lessons. Or at least that's what's in the letters Spike sends me, but who am I to suspect those might've been lies the whole time?"

"What!?" Twilight screamed. "Princess, I would never lie to you!"

"Oh, I don't doubt that. Much," Celestia reassured her, as her mane's billowing became erratic and twitched back and forth occasionally. "But lying isn't just giving false information. Withholding the truth also counts."

Celestia began stalking towards Twilight, her taller stature leaving her looming over the now shivering student.

"So how do you think I felt when I received a letter, not from you or Spike, but from an anonymous patient at Ponyville General Hospital through the Equestrian Mailing System that took a week to get to me, informing me-" Celestia's voice faltered and her eyes became moist.

"That Ty was dead!?"

Celestia shouted at the top of her lungs as she leered over her student. At this point her mane had burst into flames, smoke filling the library and the edges of most close by books curling and turning black as they began to burn. "P-Princess, please! I can explain!" Twilight pleaded to her mentor, the rage and disappointment in Celestia's eyes inflicting what felt like physical, actual pain to both ponies. "It wasn't even our fault, he was essentially killed by himself, not us!"

"That's the BAD part!" Celestia raged. "The patient who wrote that letter said he panicked the moment he saw you and your friends during visitation. He thought you were there to cause him harm, and I can easily see how being effectively kidnapped by you and your friends would put that thought in his mind."

Celestia stared at her slack-jawed student before continuing, "Oh, yeah, they talked about that in the letter, too. I don't remember your letter you sent to me before I first met him mentioning that. Though it would certainly explain a bit of how he acted when he first met me," Celestia raised a forehoof at Twilight. "Though there is one thing you did say in that letter I want to bring up, and that's his amnesia. He probably didn't even know the object he threw at you and inadvertently destroyed was the one thing keeping him alive! Apparently all of that's not important enough for me to know!?"

"I wanted to tell you, I swear, but... Well, I was..." Twilight hung her head and folded her hooves over her eyes. "I was just so scared of what would happen once you heard the truth."

The sound of fire extinguishing above her caused Twilight to peek through her hooves at the other princess, though her mentor's appearance was warped in Twilight's vision.

Celestia sighed to herself, rubbing a hoof across her eyes. "You probably should've been," she muttered looking around at the fire she inadvertently started, flames engulfing Golden Oaks and all the knowledge it contained. "Consider this your punishment for indirectly taking a life."

Princess Celestia sneered at Twilight before teleporting, leaving her sat in the inferno.

"Twilight! The smoke alarm's goin- SON OF A BI

[Whaddaya think? Good material to use in the actual show?]

Ty sat in silence as he stared at the screen, which rapidly cut from the yelling baby dragon to a motivational cat screensaver and now to a toy commercial, processing the events that apparently had just transpired. Because of him, Golden Oaks was destroyed, sure. But Celestia's initial outburst was what captivated him the most.

"I... I'm dead?" He asked. Really the question wasn't directed at anyone, but Faust took it otherwise.

[Well, not exactly. You almost are, but not entirely.] Faust rambled, though Ty was only half-listening. [See, you were about to die, but then just before it happened, I patched you up and teleported you here! I've done the same thing several times already, I just dropped you off back in the Everfree those times. Heh, those many times. And I'll probably keep doing it until you're done with your part, given your 'special talent.' After that I really couldn't care much about what happens to you. Plus, those times it was essentially an instant between you going in and out of consciousness. This time it took a week since I brought you here, first.]

"... So... that stupid joke I made back when it first happened was actually true? I really died back at the waterfall, under that tree, when I lit myself on fire, when I slammed into the library's window, even back on the school bus?" Ty questioned, again to himself but with some direction to Faust.

She replied, [Well, not the window, Spike found you before any massive damage had been done to you. After just one look at your eyes he thought you had died, too, if you'll believe it. I don't about the bus, though. Hay, I didn't even notice when you first got here.]

"And I'm really stuck on this show," Ty muttered again, not as a question and more as something else.

[Yep! Isn't it great? You get to meet all your favorite little ponies, take part in wonderful celebrations, hay, you've even been in the background of a couple of episodes already.]

Ty shook himself for a moment, looking at Faust incredulously. "I've what."

[That's not to mention 'The Anti-Friendship Lesson: Part One' airing with you as a major character.]

"WHAT?"

[Just finished airing in North Amare- *ahem* I mean, North America. People apparently like it.] Faust smiled down at Ty and elbowed him in the side, as he continued to just stare at her wide-eyed. [Good job, there, by the way. Never thought this storyline would get a good reaction from viewers, seeing as the writer is new at the company and doesn't think much of his work himself, but look at what you've managed to do with the script you've been given!]

"S... Script..?" Ty asked weakly.

[Oh, yeah. It's a real piece of work.] Ty heard of Faust's admittance. [But on the bright side, they don't really seem to care. Bronies like you, you know.] She smiled down at him before her horn lit up.

Faust created another rectangular panel, though this time she leaned her entire front half inside it. She rummaged around, creating sounds of metal clattering and papers flapping as she leaned in a bit further, her hind legs now off the nonexistent ground and flailing around in the air. [Ah-ha! Here we go!] She exclaimed before leaning back and sliding out of the panel, landing on her flank with a small yelp. She was levitating a small collection of printed photos by her head, before floating them over to and in front of Ty. [You've even got your own fanart!]

Faust coughed and muttered something under her breath while smiling, something that sounded suspiciously similar to, 'Like that's ever gonna happen. What a load of...'

Ty himself was looking over the pictures, rather stunned at seeing the work of others depicting the kid from the middle of nowhere turned pony from who knows where. There were only four pictures, one detailed photo depicting him cuddling with Pinkie Pie, a minimalist one depicting him and Pinkie in a yin yang type formation, Pinkie smiling widely and Ty looking dejected, and one each depicting an argument/fight with Twilight and Applejack, respectively. "Hey, these are actually kinda' cute," he admitted, before a fifth picture that was stuck to the back of the first one slowly peeled off it and fell to the floor.

"Hey, what's... What exactly... What's that stuff between our legs?" Ty asked, holding the picture up to the nonexistent light with his magic, framing it with his forehooves and rotating it. His right eye was closed and his tongue was sticking out in contemplation, while his cheeks noticeably reddened.

[Huh?] Faust asked, weaving around Ty and glancing over his shoulder. [Oh... OH!] She exclaimed, before telekinetically ripping it out of Ty's magical hold. [That's... not important right now.] She muttered to him while hastily shoving all five pictures back into the panel and closing it. [Anyway, we better be getting you back to Equestria. Your voice actor hasn't expressed his... want to stick around on the show for more than this special, so we better get this show on the road. I can't remember, who was your voice actor, anyway? I think it was either Carter Hayden, Lyon Smith, or Zachary Bennett. Or maybe it was... Ah, forget it. Doesn't matter whose voice is coming out of your mouth when you get to be a part of the real deal, huh? And you're going to have a part, and you are gonna like it.]

"I..."

[Just be prepared for a little more... friendship, this time around, shall we say? Have fun! We'll be watching.]

Ty was off-put by a bright flash emanating from Faust's horn once again, consuming his vision as all his other senses dulled and went numb. The last thing he remembered seeing was Faust smirking down at him as the light faded.

Waking up to the sensation of falling usually is not a good sign. Immediately feeling a sensation of hitting several surfaces before impacting the ground directly after that's usually even worse. Yet, that is exactly what happened to Ty, currently doing his best to shake the bleariness out of his eyes and the dirt out of his mouth.

"BLEH! Ugh, that is disgusting," he muttered, before shakily getting back onto his rear hooves. He stumbled around as he tried to get his balance back, slouching down and staring at the dirt path he was stood on. 'Okay, guess it's time to do this charade again. Stumble into pony, interact, near-death experience, repeat. I can practically feel it coming, three, two, one...'

Immediately after he thought 'one' a pony bumped into Ty from behind. 'And there it is.'

"Watch where you're standing!" The orange mare yelled, running past him with an overflowing cart of carrots.

"... S-sorry!" Ty yelled back to her, not expecting her to keep going. Another look at where he was revealed Faust apparently dropped him off a series of rooftops at the edge of Ponyville's market, late at evening with most stalls closing up shop.

"'Scuse me!" A walleyed pegasus said before flying between Ty's legs, getting stuck at first but squeezing her way through with some effort. "Heh-heh, that was fun!"

"Excuse you, too, I guess," he muttered. Not many ponies were left at this point, Ty noticed. Just a few running late or had more complex and permanent shops to close up. There was the bowling alley, a small diner, a bakery, made out of gingerbread, currently situated behind a pink flash that glomped Ty so hard the two masses were sent bowling through multiple stalls.

"OH MY CELESTIA HE LIVES!" Pinkie yelled, the rolling ball of ponies stopping with the mare sat on top of the still not entirely conscious Ty. "Are you a vision, or are you a ghost, or am I dreaming, cuz' I've been punching myself in the face for the last two sentences and I don't think this level of pain is possible to be felt in dreams!"

"Huh?"

"I mean come on! You died a week ago, I gave a speech at your funeral, and now you're here and Twilight's gonna be super-duper-ooper-schmooper happy to see you because Celestia's gonna be super-duper-ooper-schmooper-pooper-scooper happy to see you and *GASP!* We gotta go tell them somehow Ty returned because-"

Ty stuttered out while he gasped for air, as Pinkie had unwittingly been squeezing him and slamming him into the ground repeatedly out of excitement. "Pinkie- Please-! Brain damage-! I wa-hanna die again-!"

"Oops," she muttered, hopping off of him and biting his forehoof to help him get up. She continued while bouncing in place, "Sorry! It's just that now that you're back, things can go back to the way they used to be! Come on, Twilight's hotel is thisaway!"

Ty watched the party pony bounce off, contentedly closing her eyes and bounding over other pedestrians. Seeing her inattentiveness, his gaze was inevitably drawn to a nearby alleyway. A secluded, dark alleyway that invariably led to a way out of his situation. Ty pressed both his forehooves to his temples glancing to the alleyway, to Pinkie, to the sky, and to his flank.

He deeply sighed with closed eyes, and, dropping to all fours, held his head low and slowly trotted after Pinkie Pie.

[You know I heard your little remark about Ty back there.]

(It was still right, eh? He was absurdly bucked.)

[I know, but you need to know when an appropriate time to butt in is.]

(Never stopped you.)

[That's different, I'm God.]

(Uh huh, sure.)

[Oh, shut up. You're the reason I say the stupid things I do, anyway, idiot.]

(And you wonder why I write so slowly.)

[Nope. That's just you being slow.]

(Thanks.)

[You're welcome.]

...

[You gonna end the chapter, now?]

(Eh. Sure.)

Author's Note

Just a little reminder that all characters are owned by Hasbro.

I mean, at least I THINK Lauren Faust is owned by Hasbro.