We Don't Belong Here!

by Dark Krystal

Rating: teen
Tags: Anon, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other, Changelings, Profanity, Random, Violence, Slice of Life, Human, Anthology, Main 6
Length: 25537

A series of short stories involving humans in equestria.

My collection of short stories or idea's that are pretty much oneshots. (maybe) Involving humans being in Equestria. Some may be dark, some may even have fluff! Romance? Drama? Sadness!? I don't really know I just made this to clear up my idea document while feeding you guys some short stories for your daily life.

Published 2021-11-22 19:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2022-02-09 18:58:28 UTC

There's plenty of fish in the sea! Or so I thought...

There's Plenty of fish in the sea! Or so i thought...

Human and Princess Skystar Oneshot

"Ooooooo Look at this one Shelly! I think this one could join our little group!" The voice of a young seapony vibrated
through the depths of the sea water. Sunlight shining through the occasionally finds its way over to the seapony to reveal her yellow skin and bright blue hair. In one flipper she held one large orange clam shell and in the other a purple clam shell with perfectly placed googly eyes.

"Hmm... I dunnooooo Skystar.. I'd say this one looks kinda...mmnn... FISHY!" A high pitch Skystar spoke while opening and closing the googly clams mouth. Skystar giggle at the clams clever joke before looking back at the orange clam and narrowing her eyes before tossing it to the seafloor.

"Yeah you're right, Shelly. Lets find another clam- i mean friend!" She moves her flipper to make it look like shelly was nodding. She takes off swimming along the seafloor using the sun rays and the light from her lure. She hums a small melody as she looks around the floor for more great clam shells like Shelly or Sheldon. Only the best can be allowed in her friend group. Friend group... Briefly her smile fades and she stops as she looks at Shelly a melancholic stare to her eyes.

She looks around for a moment at the endless span of the sea floor that only went deeper and darker... and lonelier... She closes her eyes and lets out a bubbled sigh before raising her flipper holding Shelly and allow it to speak.

"Hey, hey! Don't be sad now! I'm sure it won't belong until we can go back to the surface and make new friends!" Shelly feeds her the yearly lie. Skystar forces herself to smile and nods. "Yeah you're right, Shelly!" She opens her eyes only to see the sunrays have vanish. She looks up to the surface with confusion clear on her face before her pupils shrink and a gasp exits her mouth in bubbles.

The bottom of a ship slowly rode overhead. Blocking the sunrays in the area she was in. Its been so long since she seen a ship. Her mind raced as she stared at the barnacle infested bottom.

Why is a ship here!? Where'd it come from!? How did she not notice it until it was right above!?

For the first two questions her confused yet scared mind made a conclusion. The Storm King. Had he returned but with a ship this time!? Did he somehow find a way to invade Seaquestria!? She needed to tell her mother! Or maybe General Seaspray. Her heart raced as she prepared to rush back to her home when her eyes caught something strange. A large broken rusted, barnacle infested chain hanging off the side of the boat and being dragged close to the sea floor. Her mind wanders back to when she was young and back at Mount Aris. She remembers the time she and her mother were getting shown around one of the newly built ships by Seaspray.

Looking at the chain she recognizes it as the ships anchor. Made to stop ships from moving by being dropped into the sea floor. This one was clearly old and broken... Which meant that no matter what the ship couldn't stop. Which meant that if it belong to the Storm King they couldn't park like before and come out in hordes to invade like their airships. Fear started to leave her.

The Storm Kings general tempest always lead the charges! There's no way she would charge with a anchorless ship. She nodded along with Shelly but pauses as the final Question arose.

"If its not the Storm King then..." She brings Shelly up to her eye level and bops the clam up and down to speak. "Then who is it!?" She managed to make their voice synchronize together as they ask the question before looking at the passing ship. Curiosity started to grow in her soul. Shelly started clamming up again.

"Skystar no! It could be dangerous! Who ever is on that ship could attack us! Or maybe even kidnap us!" Skystar brought her other flipper to cup her chin in thought before she looks at Shelly and gives a mischievous smirk. "Then you can stay here and if i don't come back then you can tell mom." She puts Shelly down on seafloor and started swimming up to the surface. She yells out in Shelly's voice as she acends.

"Skystar! Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.." She stops when she breaks the surface. She looks up and lets out a quiet "Wow~" As she sees the size of the ship. It was definitely bigger than the ships they had back at Mount Aris. However she could see wear and tear on the ship. The sails had holes in them and some tears but not big enough to make the sails useless. The ships railing was busted up almost like somecreature took a hammer and smashed up the railing. She could see the side hole of the ship where the anchors chain hanged from. She swims along the ship admiring its old destructive looks. Some holes on the side made it look like it came out of one of those tales of ship battles Silverstreams dad spoke of once when she went over.

The stem of the ship was busted to make a sharp broken stick that she could see being good to impale.. well other ships probably. It was strange how she had seen newly built hippogriff ships before and they looked amazing but this ruined ship. It was fascinating to admire it however her attention drew away as she notice a key factory of the ship. The sound. Focusing her ears she hears nothing but the old creaking of the ship as the oceans gentle waves push her and the ship along. She looks at it in worry.

Is this a abandoned ship? Or a ghost ship? She shakes her head. "No a ghost ship has that eerie fog or spooky glow that Seaspray says. She frowns at the though of a abandoned ship just out here drifting along the currents... alone.

"Like me..." She says with a melancholy tone. She looks down at the ocean surface to see her reflection. Herself and the endless sky and a sad hippogriff. She brings a flipper to touch her necklace and closes her eyes. She wanted to explore that ship. She could already see her mother scolding her when she tells her she saw and explored a ship coasting on the waves but it'd be fun and...and maybe someone was on there.

She shuffles her necklace's shells around to reveal a piece of the pearls. She closes her eyes and focuses letting the magic of the pearl return. Her body glows as she returns the pearls magic. Her body floating as a result before the magic disperse returning the princess to her former feathery glory. She quickly flaps her wings to stop herself from falling into the ocean. She lets of a sigh and lets her body recover from the transformation. She opens her eyes and quickly flies toward ship, her eyes scanned the oncoming deck. Empty. When she lands the decks wooden boards creak under her talons as the silence starts to get to her.

Looking around she sees the rest of the damage on the ship. More holes. The door to the Great cabin was hanging by a single rusted hinge, The wood to the man mast had rotten away. Looking up at the quarterdeck s her eyes widen slightly as it spots the remains of the ships wheel. While the steering wheel was missing she could see foundation on which the ships wheel was turning.

Anchorless and no wheel...? This ship really is just riding aimlessly. A bit of sadness dipped into her making to whisper out. "Poor ship." Before turning her eyes to the ships trapdoor. She looks between the cabin door and the trap door before pointing one of her claws at the door and moving over to the opened trapdoor as she repeats a well known decision making hippogriff rhyme.

"Eeny, meent, miny, moe, Catch a whale by the fin. If he sings, let him go, "Eeny, meent, miny, moe!" Her find stops as it points to the trapdoor of the ships abyss. She smiles and walks over and dives into the ships lower deck. Landing on the old boards roughly caused some old dust to spring up and hit her in the face. She coughs violently and waves the dust cloud away from her face. Recovering she looks around and lets out a "Oooo..." She finds her self looking at the sleeping quarter of the ship. Numerous hammocks covered with dust covered blankets. She slowly walks in between the hammocks. Looking at the deserted area with interest.

Opened chests lied under the hammocks filled with untouched personal belongings. Walking through here felt like walking through a ruin. Everything felt as if this ship just appeared out of a battle. Everything left as it was maybe for years or centuries. She could feel a shiver travel along her spine at the though of her exploring a century old ship. She smiles as he looks through one of the chest. Tattered clothing, a extra blanket and a silver necklace. She smiles at the silver necklace. It was still in good condition. Bringing the necklace to the rays of light pouring through the holes in the ship shows its beautiful quality.

She smiles and slowly brings the necklace down to the che- Creeeeak She drops the necklace into the chest and spins her head around to the trapdoor, here pupils shrunk and feathers somewhat puffed. She sighs and shakes her head remembering that ship creaked and croak all on its own. This ship was abandoned after all she was definitely alone... right? She shakes her head at the thought of some lone creeper being around.

Who'd stay on a abandoned ship? Dumb Skystar.. hehe..

It did bring the question that has been in the back of her mine to the front of her lobe. Where was everyone? Everything so far seemed untouched as if everyone vanished! As she ponders on that her eyes notice something on the hammock. A bump. She raises a brow and looks around and notices every hammock had a bump to it. Strange. Focusing back on the hammock in front of her and grabbing the edge of the blanket she uncovers the hammock.

She freezes. Her breath trapped in her lungs and her heart starting the speed up. Her widening and pupils shrinking, sound unable to exits her mouth as she stares at the decomposing skeleton of a unknown creature. It was... tall if she stood it up she'd only be up to its chest. Her eyes travelled over the creatures anatomy. Hands or maybe claws. Feet despite how foreign the creature was to her it was...fairly bland. No sharp teeth or anything but a question lingered in her mind.

Why is there a corpse here and so perfectly placed!?

She backs up quickly preparing to leave this area when her rear hits a hammock behind her causing the skeletal occupant to fall out of its hammock with a loud CROOOEK! She screeches and spins around to see the fallen skeleton and backs up again only to hit something else. She turns around to face the third fallen skeleton only to freeze in place. She didn't hit a hammock. She hit something else. Something living.

Her eyes focuses on the tattered brown leather pants of the thing she bumped into before moving up to the tattered and stitched dirty brown aristocrat coat and to the face messy haired bearded creature that looks down at her with its mouth open somewhat. Her heart beat against her ribcage with the ferocity of war drum charging into battle. Her muscles tense as she finds herself unable to move. For a while they two stare at each other, neither unable to muster a sound or take a step.
After a bit the creature makes a audible gulp and step back before raising his hand swinging it forward. She flinches as he stops right in front of her. Palm open as if inviting a hand shake.

"I..-" The creatures speaks up before closing his mouth and adjusting himself before speaking up again. "Greetings i am Rufus Galleion! It is a honor to meet you!" He practically yells out and tenses up as he keeps his hand out to her.

She stares at him wide eyed for a while before looking at his hand and her royal teachings catch her to herb rain and she quickly grabs its hand with both talons and rapidly shakes it.

"OH UM! H-hello i am princess Skystar! Daughter of Queen novo, the ruler of Seaquestria! Former ruler of mount Aris! I am very honored to meet you Sir Rufus Galleion!" She yells out in respond before tensing up and watching the creature. While shaking its hand. They continue to stare at each other while shaking each others hand for the next few minutes.

"Um my arm is getting tired, princess..." Rufus spoke up. She blinks and looks at their hand before quickly pulling away.

"Oh sorry! Sir Rufus!" She gives apologetic smile before both look at each other again. Before both bursting into laughter. The duo laugh for a while before looking at each other with a warm smile.

"Apologies it has been.. a while since I've entertained a guest. A royal one at that. Sorry if my appearance is not up to par with your standards." Rufus moves his hair out from

"Oh, no, no, no! I should apologize its been a while since I've talked to someone outside of my own species it's kinda..."

"Refreshing." They both say simultaneously before laughing together. The two would talk about themselves before heading up and to the Great cabin where Skystar finds the cabin very much untouched neatly organized. A large desk stood by the back windows of the cabin. Looking around she could see untouched paintings detailing ships roaming the sea. She keeps her "Ooo" to herself as Rufus walks over to the corner of the room and pulls a damaged small table over to the center of the room then two chairs quickly.

"Sorry if i had knew there was anybody out here I'd used the storage to prepare tea." Rufus gives a apologetic smile while rubbing back of his neck.

"Oh its no big deal! You don't need to get me drinks or anything after all teccccccccccchnically i did get on your ship without permission..." She gives a sheepish smile that fades when he scoffs.

"Oh please. Seagulls get on my ship without my permission all the time I don't drive them away." The response gets a giggle out of her and she walks over and Rufus quickly pulls the chair out for her which she gladly accepts, hopping up on the chair and sitting on her hunches. Rufus sitting on the other end and leaning against the table.

"So um... if you mind me asking sir rufus. Why are there you..." She points a talon down to the ground." Skeletons down there."

"Oh yeah them... Well as you can tell the ship was well in battle and after battle there were a lot of.... bodies. I'm the lone survivor and walking around for a bit I gotten sick of them so one day I moved them all below deck and covered them up to stop the uh.. smell. They've been down there since."

Skystars nods along with t he story but the way he said it. She speaks up after he finishes "If i remember correctly doesn't uh it take a looooooooooong time for you know bodies to turn into skellies?"

"Yep. You are correct on that princess but don't bother asking me how long i have been out here because not even i know the answer." He chuckles while frowns.

"You've been out here... alone with these bodies for a long time...?" Rufus nods and looks to the side.

"Yeah its.. been kind of. No... its been extremely lonely.." He tilts his head down preventing her from seeing his face, his hands curl up. Skystar gives him a look of concern before looking at his hand and hesitantly moving her talons to gently grab his hand. He tenses up and looks at her.

"Y-you're not the only one..." Skystar looks into his brown eyes before looking away. She struggles for a moment before letting her usual happy façade fall apart. Her smile dropping and eyes downcast as she squeezes his hand. "My people used to live above ground but we were pushed out from our lands and now live underwater. We've been underwater since I was little chick and it's...its....its so lonely..." She shivers.

"Ever since we moved down here everygriff has just!... lost their spirit. My mom is more distant... others are more wary about my position and treat me more like a noble to please than before! My cousin doesn't hang out with me as much as before! Its just... I remember when everyone was happy and other creatures used to come to our island. Now most of the time I'm in my room or just outside just i don't even know what i do outside anymore! I talk to two clams for shell sakes!" She releases his hand to toss her arms up in the air.

"E-everything sucks! I tell my mom it sucks and she just shrugs it off and goes to get a blasted massage! She doesn't do ANYTHING about it! She's pretty much accepted us living down there forever! She's so.. she's ugh!" Skystar slams her balled up fist down on the table making a audible smack that echoes throughout the ship. The sound snaps her out of her anger and she gives an apologetic look. "S-sorry I just.."

"Kinda lost it?" She nods getting a chuckle out of him. "That's fine. Compared to me you seem to have more issues. Especially if you been holding back your voice all this time." Skystar blushes slightly and gives a small smile.

"It did feel good to finally say all of that...." He nods. "I can't imagine being alone while surrounded by your own kin, that must feel worse than being alone on a never stopping ship, haha!"

"I guess..." A smile creeps to her face. "How have you survived out here anyway?" She raises a brow as she asks.

He smiles. "Well thats a long story... do you think you have time for it?" She smiles and nods rapidly. He starts to tell his tale of survival out on the endless sea. Hands motions to mimic the ways of his survival and some times standing up to act out scenes that happened once. All through the tale Skystar listens with a smile on his face and clapping at his greatest achievements and laughing at his failures.

By the time he finishes his tale the orange rays of the sunset peek through the windows of the great cabin and he looks over Skystar to the busted door.

"It's gotten late." She looks over to the window and notices the orange lighting. "Yeah..." She speaks with melancholic tone.

"Being a princess I doubt it'd be good for you to be out here this late." Rufus hides his saddened tone while Skystar stares at the window. The thought of staying on this ship overnight comes and goes when she shakes her head.

"I should return home." She says as she hops off her chair. Rufus gets up and quickly pushes in both of their chairs as he escorts the princess outside to the railing. Her eyes sparkle at the sight before them. The endless sea set aglow by the orange sunset. The two stood there for a bit, side by side as they looked at the falling sun. Skystar could feel her heart ache at the thought of returning back to the lonely depths of the sea and leaving Rufus alone again but she shook it off.

"Sir Rufus." He turns his head to look at her. "I promise you I will come see you tomorrow or one day!" She looks up at him with a determined smile that makes his smile fade and look at her surprised before grinning even wider than before.

"Mhmm. I look forward to seeing you again, Princess." She nods "Me too!"

The two say their farewells, Rufus giving her a bow and her giving him a wave goodbye before transforming back into her seapony self again. Travelling back to the seafloor to retrieve Shelly she could help but giggle to herself as the collection of todays events spins her mind. Her heart beat like a drum as happiness returns to her. She couldn't wait to see him tomorrow.

The Next Day

Skystar frantically looks around the surface of the ocean looking for the ship. It's been hours since shes been looking but not once had she found Rufus's sailing ship. Desperation clung to her heart as the thought of being truly alone starts to creep in again

"Come on! A ship couldn't have traveled that far overnight!" As she swims up to the surface again and looks around again only to see the endless waves of saltwater.

"R-right..." Her voice quiver. Despair settling in to her core.

Why did i make that stupid promise!? That ship couldn't stop! If I go to far out then I won't know my way home! Why am i so stupid! Why am i so...

Skystar could hide it and brings her flippers to her face as tears started to run down her face. She shivers as she cries silently, letting the waves take her to wherever as she drowns in her loneliness once again.

"I'm s-so sorry Rufus...."

Five months later

Skystar looks over Hippogriffa from the palace balcony. The glow of the fallen sunset casting over their home and the strong winds blowing against her face. A soft smile on her face. It was strange to think a month ago she would help in putting down the Storm King and helping her people get their freedom again. Though she was grounded from leaving Seaequestria for that month. It was worth it.

She couldn't help but giggle as she turns away from the balcony . Preparing to return go back to the throne room when a sound of talons landing comes behind her making her spin around to look up at General Seaspray.

"Oh! General Seaspray oh um what brings you to uh me?" She gives a salute that makes the General drop his serious look to chuckle.

"Skystar! hahahaha! I'm supposed to do that to you! Not you to me!" He gives a warm smile. Skystar blushes and puts her arm down.

"Oh hahahaha.. Yeah thats right!" Seaspray finishes his chuckles before coughing and putting his serious face back on. "Is the Queen in right now?"

"No, sir. She's underwater again." Seaspray sighs while Skystar gives an apologetic smile. He sighs then looks out behind him then back to Skystar. "I need you to hurry back down and tell your mother that an unknown ship is approaching us at high speeds. We we're not sure if its pirates or remains of the Storm kings army coming over bu-" Before Seaspray could Finish Skystar immediately rush over to the balcony and focused her eyes on the sea.

Her eyes search over before spotting the rushing brown dot faraway from the mountain coming towards the harbor. Her breath catches in her through. It couldn't be. Without looking at Seaspray she speaks up. "W-what does the ship look like...?"

Seaspray looks at her concerned before answering her. "From what the scouts seen it a very worn ship that looks like it came straight out of a ship battle. They couldn't see if anyone was on board but they su-" Before he could finish Skystar leaps from the balcony. "Wha- Princess!?"

It can only be him! He's still around! Hahaaha! She couldn't help but smile as she glides down the mountain and heading towards the harbor. When she makes it to the beach she ends up skidding along the sand. She watches to oncoming ruined ship head towards the harbor. It'll no doubt ruin the docks or two but that wasn't on her mind.

Seeing Rufus again after all this time. She couldn't help but pace in circles.

"We have so much to catch up on!"

Author's Note

Thanks for reading this literally unedited nonstop writing oneshot.

Story Concept: Princess Skystar and loneliness.

This story came to me when doing research for my other story and coming across her holding sheldon and shelly. I remembered that scene. Thus this story was born.
Honestly I personally feel that i could've done this a lot better, go more into Rufus's character and their bond but I felt like i wrote enough so if the ending feels rushed its because it was, apologies.

If I'm honest this will probably be my more active stories just because I really like writing oneshots.

Something New

The school bell rings throughout the halls which makes the doors to the classroom explode as students rush out filling the halls quickly. In one of these classrooms a bipedal teacher stands by the door handing out fresh cookies from Sugarcube Corner. “Here you go, here you go, here you go, here you go, here you go, here you go, here you go, here you go, here you go, here you go, here you go, here you go. “ He says in almost a robotic manner as he hands out the cookies.

When Sandbar trots up to him he simply tosses the cookie at the laid back student who smiles at the flying coat and easily catches it with his teeth.

“Hwampks Proessler kawn” Sandbar tries to say as he walks as the teacher. Following behind him is Gallus who stops and puts a talon and gives a “gimmie gimmie” motion with his talons with an expectant look on his face. The teacher stares at him for a few seconds before handing him half a cookie. Gallus examines the cook before looking back up at his teacher. “...What is this?”

“A cookie.” He tells him bluntly. Gallus deadpans. “Yeah I know but why is it broken in half?”

“To represent your mistake for sleeping halfway through my class, Gallus.” Gallus frowns but moves in with his half cookie. Speeding up behind him is Silverstream who flies at eye level with her teacher and offers her talons to him with an excited look on her face… and some drool leaking from her beak. Not breaking his automatic movements he gives Silverstream a cookie per talon which makes her squeal.

“Good Job today, Silverstream. Keep your focus steady and the next bundle of cookies I get I will give you three.” Silverstream puffed up at the news.

“Thank you, Professor Kian! You’re the best!” Silverstream almost went in for a hug but remembers she was holding cookies and goes in for a brief nuzzle to his cheek before speeding off. Smolder strides up to Kian and leans against the doorframe with an elbow while her other arm offers a hand. She has her eyes closed and a smirk on her that vanishes after a minute of no cookie in her hand, she looks up at him with a glare only to see him slowly moving the cookies down to her hand.

She reaches up to take them only for him to pull away. “Hey what gives! I focused on the lesson today!”
“Indeed. I just don’t like smug looks.” He says while dropping two cookies in her hand, she rolls her eyes and takes a bite out of them while walking away. The ground shakes a bit as Yona bounces behind Smolder with happiness clear on her face, she stops when she reaches him and wordlessly opens her mouth. He gently places three cookies into her mouth before pulling back quickly as her mouth closes with the speed of a mousetrap’s activation. She lets out a long “mnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn~” and walks out of the classroom.

He prepares to give another cookie only for no student to approach, his automatic cookie giving function ceases and he looks for the last student, Ocellus. Giving a short scan of his classroom he finds Ocellus face deep in a book.

“Ocellus, reader of the changeling hive.” He raises his voice slightly which makes her look up from her book then around, her eyes widen as she realizes she's the last one remaining. Quickly she packs up her things.

“Oh, oh, oh! S-sorry Professor Kian! I didn’t notice…” She trots up to him quickly and looks down.

“It’s okay, Ocellus.” He hands her four cookies which she grabs with her magic and places them into her saddlebag. She walks out into the hallway only to stop, she looks down for a moment before turning around and looking up at Kian.

“Professor Kian… May I ask you a question?” He looks at her and raises a brow to invite her to ask.

“Are you, um… happy?” Ocellus can’t help but look away from his stare.

“..Of course why do you ask?” He looks away and walks to his desk to put in the remaining cookies in their box. Ocellus steps inside the classroom a little bit. “Well it's u-um… because…. We Changelings can feel others' emotions and well when I focus on you sir.. I don’t feel anything.” Kian freezes in place before slowly turning his head around and looking at her with a blank expression.

“I-I'm sorry if it feels like I invaded your personal space but i c-c-can’t help it! I.. um.. Oh, oh! I’ll just um.. “ She looks up at him again only to instantly look away as nervousness takes hold of her. “Please excuse me!” Before he could open his mouth to stop her she takes off down the hall.

“.....................” Kian looks at the empty spot where she was for a bit before focusing back on his box of cookies and letting out a sigh. Emotions. It was a foreign thing to him, maybe it was because of his parents divorce? His mothers abuse? Bullying? He couldn’t pinpoint the exact moment in his childhood where his feelings just vanished. At the time it was better to be numb to everything than to feel and react to everything.

It worked back on Earth… well at least in his perspective. People who tried to befriend him would lose interest over time or be weirded out by his stoic nature, he didn’t mind that of course he was used to being alone. It wasn’t until he woke up here that it became a “vocal” problem for others. Twilight figured out early on that he was pretty emotionless and took it upon herself to “cure” him by employing him in the school of friendship because he did have a degree in history and a good memory.

He could only guess that she figured by employing him here that he’d learn friendship here and unlock his feelings again. To him this was a stupid plan which isn’t surprising as a majority of ponies here were really naïve, however it was a job that payed him and let him have housing so he went along with Twilights ideal lesson. No creature until today had even figured he was numb, he could help but look back at when he first met Ocellus.

The way she stared at him throughout the lesson with a hint of concern and fear. How she kept staring at him even when she had finished her assignment. The slow walk she did when she approached him to turn in her assignment, cautious and tense like a stray cat walking up to a human with food.

He sighs and sits at his desk, and pulls out the assignments to grade. How must it feel to meet a creature that can’t feel emotions…? He couldn’t help but wonder as he looked at the assignments. Well it doesn’t matter now, unless she decides to bring it up to others.

Two days later. . .

Kian exhales against the window, his breath fogging up the glass just so he can draw a little smiley face on it. Today was a more okay day than usual! Rainfall. Kian focused his eyes on the drops of water that spilled down from the sky and his ears the little sounds that they made on impact. It was a beautiful harmony he missed from time to time. Unlike earth Equestria had ponies control their weather making it predictable and rare for weather that can cause harm to towns or roads to be more “rare”.

He couldn’t even remember if he had ever read of a natural disaster other than animals destroying a home in this land. His watch lets out a beep that knocks him out of his temporary peace to tell him it was time to prepare for homeroom. Spinning on his heel with an unwavering focus ahead he heads to his classroom, making sure to take routes that avoid either other members of the educational staff or the early students; chit-chat would only delay his current mission.

Closing in on his classroom he hears the sounds of… hushed voice and speedy movement echoing from within a room. Deducing that it was his room he increased his walkspeed, the audible speedy footsteps he made led to the increased panic from within the classroom. Without a show of mercy for the trespassers inside he opened the door and scanned the classroom.

Inside he found Silverstream frozen mid opening one of the classroom windows, Gallus stop mid-vent unscrewing, Sandbar hiding under a desk, Yona attempting to become one with the curtain, and Smolder’s tail sticking out from behind his desk as she attempts to hide on the side of it. Finding his trespassers he scans the room again to see what damage was done or items taken only to find nothing has been altered with.

He keeps his silence for a while, a move he knew would instill stress and fear into the victims in his vicinity before slowly…. Sloooooowly crossing his arms and saying the calculated forbidden words to the students.

“Gallus, Sandbar, Silverstream, Smolder, Yona. I am disappointed with the five of you.” He spoke with the same tone as always but to the students it made them flinch. Slowly all the students got out of their positions to approach him and looked down. Silverstream, Sandbar, and Yona wore a regretful face while Smolder and Gallus wore the face of someone who was ready to throw someone under the bus for getting caught.

“What do you have to say for yourselves?” He leans slightly forward to showcase the height difference between him and the students and push the idea of an imposing teacher aura.

“We’re Sorry…” The students say in sync though Gallus and Smolder say it with an eye roll.

“For…?”

“For going into your classroom when you’re not here and messing around…” He leans back and nods, he didn’t know if that was what they were really doing but no changes were made so he accepts their answer.

“You are forgiven, now go. Return once the bell rings for homeroom.” The students nodded and walked out the classroom one by one, when Smolder looked back at the desk and opened her mouth only for him to point to the door which made her close her mouth and roll her eyes only to look back at the desk before the classroom door closes on her.

He lets out a sigh and heads over to his desk to slip in his chair. Opening his drawer to pull out his graded assignments and stack them on the desk. Reaching down to the bottom drawer to pull out a roll call sheet and place it on the desk. Taking a pen from his pocket he crosses the name for the previous trespassers and then slowly over to the “O” section to cross Ocellus’s name. Putting the pen down afterwards right next to an identical pen on his desk.

“.........................” He simply crosses his arms and stares at the two pens. Two minutes pass before a pair of shiny eyes open up from the desk pen and look at him with fear. He shakes his head to mimic disappointment before standing up and stepping back. The pen releases a wall or a nice arctic blue magic and Ocellus stands on top of the desk.

“I’m sorry, Professor Kian. I… I just… um…” She looks away.

“I give you credit Ocellus. Your disguise would’ve worked if not for three things. One, you always are with the other five so I naturally suspected you changed. Second, you Smolder pretty much sold you out with her glances. Third, I always carry my limited edition marble pen.” Kian stares at her with disappointment that only a father can make. Ocellus looks down with her ears folding back.

“S-sorry Professor Kian… I just… No, we just wanted to um… surprise you…” Kian raises a brow at her claim of intent. Ocellus hops off the desk and walks over to one of the desks to pull out a letter with her magic. Walking over back to Kian and placing the letter for him to examine.

He picks the letter and opens it up to reveal one of those small general store cheap event cards. Though this one was handcrafted… messily. Looking at it he could tell that all six of them worked on it just by the fact that its cover was the embodiment of multiple people unable to decide on a theme for the card. Yona’s handwriting almost covered the entire front of the card with a “THANK YOU”. He had to Squint to see “Professor Kian” at the bottom written small to attempt to fit in.

He slides his thumb and opens the car to reveal more of a mess. Various crude drawings, colors, messages trying to squeeze in between everything, and glitter all sorts. It looked like it was rushed. He brings the card closer to examine the small messages within the card.

“Thanks for always looking after us!” - Silverstream

“Yona Thankful for teach taking time to explain when Yona don’t get it” - Yona

“Thanks for always taking your time after school to help me!” - Sandbar

“Thanks for.. Low-key giving me hints when I don't get it, you’re cool i guess.” - Gallus

“Thanks for you know… not being as strict as the other professor.” - Smolder

“Thanks for-”

Looking at the last message Kian changes his focus to Ocellus. “Your message is unfinished.”

She gives a hesitant nod. “I.. didn’t know what could surprise you in a um.. Good way. Sandbar came up with the idea not long ago and…”

“Then I came.” Kian speaks up. Ocellus nods and looks down for a moment as Kian checks if there is anything more.

“P-professor Kian!” Ocellus suddenly speaks up, making Kian change his focus back to her. “I-I'm… I’m thankful for you always being patient with me… and nice. I will admit.. When I first met you I was scared.. Because I couldn't r-read your emotions. S-Sorry if that is a breach in your personal space! I can’t help it but.. You’re really nice and um focused.. And I um.. I just really appreciate you teaching us!” Ocellus nearly shouts as she closes her eyes, faint cyan blush to her chitin cheeks.

Kian stares at her for a bit. Blinking every now and then. He opens his mouth only to close it, finding himself lost for words or his own voice. Ocellus opens an eye to see his reaction. Kian stands there puzzled and staring off in the distance, it takes a bit before he looks back at Ocellus.

“...It’s no big deal…” Kian finds his eyes looking away from her and his face feeling heated. He brings a hand to forehead to check for a fever as confusion takes hold of him. Ocellus looks at him with wide eyes and opens her mouth just to close it and shaking her head she speaks quickly. “T-that's all I wanted to say! Thank Professor Kian, I'll see you in homeroom! Bye!”
She quickly flutters her wings and flies out the room before Kian could even open his mouth. He stares at the slowly open door until it closes to focus on the strange…. Feeling that just occurred to him.

Ocellus didn’t make it far before she bumps into the rest of her friends. Noticing her return, Smolder smirks and crosses her arms. “Looks like your pen disguise didn’t work~”

Ocellus perks up at that and opens her mouth to respond only to let out a low “meeeeeeep” that makes the others look at her confused. Silverstream noticing the faint blush to her cheeks and fidgeting of her hooves gives an excited smile and flies over to her.

“What happened! Did you show Professor Kian our card!? Did he like it? Did he!?” Ocellus opens her mouth only for Gallus to walk over and roll his eyes. “Doubt it, you filled up that card with so much glitter…” The truth bomb makes Silverstream frown at Gallus.

“Well at least I didn’t take ten minutes just to say thank you, Gallus!” Gallus squints at that statement. “Hey! I had to figure out what would fit in after Yona decided to draw all over the inside…” Gallus gives a side glance to Yona who glares at Gallus.

“Yaks make best drawings! Professor deserves Yak drawings!” Yona huffed and made Gallus deadpan at her statement.

“Yona Drawing would’ve been better if Smolder not destroy first card!” Yona points to Smolder who rolls her eyes and frowns.

“I already said I’m sorry jeez… plus if you think about MY WAY I did us a favor! Sandbars front cover on that one was just .. ugh terrible..” Smolder, Gallus, and SIlverstream all nodded together at that claim which only made Sandbar jump into the argument. While the rest argued among themselves about the faults of the card and who to blame, Ocellus stood there with her eyes glued to the ground.

Her mind traveled back to Kian. That moment after she thanked him… she felt it. Embarrassment and…. Happiness. It was brief but she was sure she felt Kian give off emotions. A small smile forms at the playback and she looks back at her arguing friends, a sparkle in her eye.

I…I hope I can make you feel more, Professor Kian…

Author's Note

Story Concept: Anon and Emotions vs Changeling

This compared to the orginal draft of it.. changed a lot and I believe for the better. the 3rd draft was going to have Ocellus walk out to see her friends spying on her and hint to a possible teacher student romance with Kian but decided not to. Instead just a naturally Wholesome story. Also a test to write the Young Six as despite how the show used them I liked them and wished they had more potential, so I'm going to fuck with that potential.

Overcome

I am Anonymous. Last name? None of your business. All you need to know about me is that I became a villain… and won.

Well… that's kind of a lie but not really, i think… You see, before you take over the capital of a country you should really have guards or an army with you. Otherwise all the residents will leave before you can even establish your first rule, and that is currently happening to me.
I let out a sigh as he sits on the main throne, My eyes scan over the darkened empty throne room. He turns his head to look at the numerous stained glass windows, some I had accidentally broken when I took over. I did feel some sadness when the idea came that I had destroyed some poor ponies artistic work that probably took them months just to make. I move my body to the left to get a glimpse of the outside world.

The sky was filled with a thick layer of an unending army of clouds. Strangely fitting with the melancholic atmosphere that fills Canterlot these days.

“What an okay day for a walk… I guess.” I get up from the throne with a huff and look back to witness my glorious butt mark vanish from the throne’s cushion. I can’t help but chuckle at my disappearing mark before focusing back on what's in front of me and walking. Opening the large doors to the throne room I walk aimlessly through the emptied halls of the castle, the lighting from the cloudy sky had turned the once colorful populated castle into a fresh ruin.

Ah! That reminds me! I should prooooobably tell you why I became a villain. Well let's get one thing straight! I didn’t become a villain because I was wronged by the ponies or Twilight and friends. Believe it or not they were my closest friends once. I became a villain because I was… well asked to or begged to be a villain. I like begging more so i’ll say she begged me to become a villain. Who’s “she” well… alright I think I should just tell you the whole story so let's just go back to the start of this!

~Wososososososoososososososh Flashback noises Wososososososoososososososh~

You see this pretty started after Twilight officially became the ruler of Equestria and ruled for 10 years. It was really, really fucking peaceful like the normal ponyvill shenanigans of the six fighting creatures or some type of unlucky shit just ceased. It was like living in the countryside on your own plot of land, that type of peacefulness. Now then during one of these peaceful days I was having a wicked dream of showing my wicked moves in front of a crowd of mares when it all just vanished and I was just in some random field of tall grass.

Now of course this freaked me the fuck out for a bit but then i realized it was probably Luna’s retired ass fucking me and so i cursed at her. Only for a white alicorn to come out of nowhere and respond with laughter, and let me state this! This white alicorn was not Celestia, in fact i never even seen or heard of this bitch before. She was… simple, she didn’t have the flowing manes that Twilight and others had yet she was slightly bigger than Celestia.

Her mane and tail was kinda messy with a nice autumn leaf red color and her coat was a pristine white. You don’t have to believe me but I want to trust my word when I say it. She was pretty fucking hot. Back to the point she introduced herself as “Faust” and just that. I didn’t need to introduce myself of course, she heard of me like every other creature in this country. Heh. She cut right to chase then and there and just asked me to become the next or “final” villain.

When she told me this I had to clean my ears out and triple take, like just imagine having a cool dream and then getting invaded by some random alicorn telling you to become a villain. Of course I told her “Hellll No!” which resulted in her begging me to become one. I asked her why and she gave me a long explanation that i can’t bother to fucking remember.

However I do remember the central point. Twilight needed a new villain to help her progress to the final stage. At the time this confused me and she kept begging me so I told her to just give me a day to think about it and she did! I woke up and did my usual morning routine before travelling to canterlot and hanging out with Twilight, and by hanging out I mean sitting on the side while I watched her talk to some random losers talk about their problems or taxes, or blah blah. I didn’t tell her about the dream as I thought it was probably just a weird dream.

I was going to dismiss it all together when the rest of the mane six came in and… they looked old, like they all had bags under their big eeys and Rarity had a long grey fucking strip on her mane… while me, Twilight, Discord, and Spike all looked young. It was like a brick just fucking smacked me cause i realized then and there the tragedy that was happening. Me, Twilight, and Spike were going to out live these guys. I honestly had to go to the bathroom and throw up from the stress that epiphany fucking gave me.

Did Twilight and Spike even acknowledge this? No. We were the same, it wasn’t until now I just… finally took a good look at them and realized they were aging. I wondered how Twilight would even react to the death of her friends? Starlight? Moondancer? Hell, her own appearance? How can Twilight be the princess of friendship when everyone around her is dying!? Her closest pals were me and Spike but even then because of her duties we can’t even hang out that much!

I wanted to strangle Celestia. I fucking said it. She fucking did this to Twilight by making her drink that fucking potion, she damn well knew the issues with being immortal. As I was hunched over the sink trying to get over this anger I looked back on that request from the Alicorn and realized something, the purpose of a villain at least in storytelling. You see villains exist because heroes exist, villains challenge the heroes ideals and beliefs and yadah yadah you get it.

They also… progress the hero. Whether it is making the hero stronger or their beliefs stronger, they exist to help heroes be stronger or hell the world itself stronger. I thought back on to all the villains Twilight had faced.

Nightmare Moon progressed Twilight to leave her shell and become an element, Discord challenged Twilight's belief in friendship and made it stronger,

Chrysalis showed her to use other factors in relationships.

Tirek had prepared Twilight to make hard choices and prepared her for the role of leader.

Starlight had made Twilight change her thoughts on villains

Stygian made Twilight look past her worship of idols.

The Storm King taught Twilight that importance of spreading friendship

Cozy Glow taught her that not everyone can learn friendship and be redeemed

Without them Twilight would not be the Leader she is today… If every villain had taught her something then… I had pretty figured out what I would teach her if I was the villain.

“Betrayal and Loss”

Friendships can be broken and you will lose friends.

I stop and look out one of the broken windows, the empty streets of Canterlot lay there in my view, numerous boarded up homes decorated them and the remains of the destruction lay on my way to the castle stained the streets. A crater here, a crater there, a burnt home there and a thrown home over here. I remembered the faces of everypony moments before I began my assault, their normal greetings and cute little smiles. The filly who rushed to him and asked for his autograph, heh it was cute at the time... Until I blasted a home to pieces, the look of horror and fear on their faces was priceless.

I let out a bitter chuckle while gripping my chest.

“Fuck me…” I say under my breath before continuing my stroll.

Back to my origins I went to sleep that night and I met her again. She asked for my response and I didn't give it to her straight away, I asked her about my realization which surprised her. Seeing that I realized why she needed a villain she told me then and there told me… well everything. Starting from how she was the maker of this world aka pretty much hot female god to how Twilight’s story wasn’t supposed to be like this.

I asked her what changed but she pretty much no commented me on that so I don’t how Twilight got fucked over this hard. She then asked again if i wanted to be a villain and… I couldn't let Twilight suffer or Equestria suffer like this… so i agreed. She thanked me and promised she’d repay me once this is all over. We made plans and the theme i’d play.

Pretty much just a cliché children show “hah, dumbass i waited for you to finally drop your guard and also i’ve been a bad guy this whole time!” She gave me a script and everything. However, because I'm a human and don’t have the intelligence of cozy or magic like Tirek and the others, she had to improvise. By improvise i mean she snapped me out of my dream via teleporting me into the vaults of Canterlot, steal Grogar’s dumbass bell, make me go back to sleep again, then teach me how to use the bell.

She put some of her magic in it because you know the bell absorbs magic and lets you cast like.. Fucking nuclear magic bombs depending on how much mana is in it. I can’t superpower myself with magic like Tirek, Cozy, or Chrysalis. So i pretty much became Grogar but human, can’t insert magic into me but i can pretty much use it as some sort of uh… sign language translator? I don’t fucking how how it works all she told me was “make hand gesture + think of effect = boom magic”

I have no clue how she could just change how the functions of this bell but when you’re a god i guess when you’re a good you can just be like “it just works”

Now we got the origins out of the way, let me tell you how I took over. It was… really and I mean it! Really easy, like holy shit these guys suck. I Walked into Canterlot and just started doing “pew pew” at stuff, ponies freaked out, guards came and they just instantly got knocked the fuck out. I did this until I made it to the throne room where Twilight, Spike, and somepony.. Uhh. Luster I think was her name?

Of course Twilight was shocked that I was the cause and got pissed because she thought I was taking one of my perfect pranks too far. If only it was a prank… we could both laugh at it in the end. I followed my script and told her my deal which shocked her and then and there we had a magic deal and pretty much like Celestia beat her magic magic beam and burnt her horn.

I did my casual villain speech and expected her to get up, summon elements or something. I thought it was going to be a one and done, i mean she’s fucking strong like I'm pretty sure her magic far surpasses Celestia’s. She didn’t instead Spike and Luster ran to her side and she just… fucking teleported.

So I was like “Okay! I’ll sit here and wait for her and the elements to come up!” and four. FOUR! FOUR FUCKING DAYS! I sat there waiting for the elements to come up only for the young six to come and challenge me. I fought them and beat the living shit out of them and they left, then the Pillars came and i did the same and they fucking left.

Now it’s been three months. Three fucking months! I have beaten Twilight and taken over Canterlot and no one has shown up! My sleep schedule is fucked up because i keep going to sleep to pass time and hope Faust comes to me again and explain WHAT THE FUCK IS TAKING SO LONG!? I am so far the most successful villain in Equestria fucking history and i didn’t even have a army! Storm King fucking invaded with a army and I had Canterlot only for eight hours!

I sigh when I make it to the famous balcony that Celestia, Luna, and Twilight stood to raise the sun and moon. I looked at the distant town of Ponyville. At first I didn’t know where Twilight went when she teleported but a couple days after my takeover Ponyville became a fortified mini city. For a while I left the town alone with the assumption that Twilight was gathering her forces to prepare for an assault against me like the fight against the villainous trio but no, instead the town stood there for weeks mocking me.

Of course I did the only reasonable thing to do when being ignored or avoided. I threw a fucking giant ass fireball at them. Despite that no one had shown up yet, so being the villainous fiend that I am, I chucked fireballs at Ponyville once a week and i swear each time i do it their response time to put out the fire speeds up.

“Wouldn’t need a alpha fireteam if you just FUCKING CAME UP HERE AND FIGHT ME TWILIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!” I screamed at the distant town. I sighed and took out the damn bell attached to my belt. I give a little jingle and wiggle my fingers with my other hand.

“Skidaddle, skadoodle, Ponyville burn like my ramen noodles!” It was my masterful rhyme for fireballs. The bell glows and a ball of fire forms out of nowhere a few feet away from my wiggling fingers, keep wiggling until the fireball is about the size of a house. Satisfied with the size and jingle jangle the bell and stop its growth, with a snap of my fingers the ball shoots off to Ponyville at pretty terrifying speeds if i say so.

Three minutes later I see rising smoke coming from the town and letting my best maniacal laugh only for me to end up coughing in the middle of it. I frown and turn around to head back inside, i can’t even enjoy the destruction anymore it just all so tiresome. Everything is fucking tiresome, everything sucks, god is this what it means to be a villian and win? No wonder villains in most stories are pretty much destined to lose. Winning fucking sucks when you're villian.

I eventually return to my throne and rubbing my ass into the fucking sweet as cushion. Leaning back against the throne I close my eyes and prepare for my afternoon nap, after than my evening dinner then bully Chrysalis, Tirek, and Cozy in the vault again. Waiting for sleep to take me I tense up when I hear the sound of clops, at first I thought I was finally going mad and about to experience what schizophrenia is like but the more I listened the closer it got until I could help it but open my eyes.

I scanned the throne room almost instantly only to see no one around… but I still heard the clopping. I focused on the sound and looked ahead, it was coming from the main hallway. My heart raced and a smile formed on my face, I quickly changed my pose to look more dominant and villainous aka the old classic leg over knee and smirk. I took deep breaths in and out to calm myself, I played the script lines over in my head and licked my lips.

Life, finally after three fucking months life comes to me. I can finally exit this victorious hellscape called Canterlot ! I waited to see Twilight's large figure enter my sight and when I saw the figure approach my heart and excitement instantly dropped. Luster Dawn.

Luster… Dawn. Luster Fucking Dawn. LUSTER FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU- I close my eyes and grit me teeth. Twilight had to be with her right, please tell me I'm right, Faust please tell me I'm fucking right. I open my eyes and see Luster Dawn enter my throne room with a familiar determined look and saddlebags on her.

I sucked in air when she stopped and began my now improvised script. “Luster Dawn… I’ve been expecting you.”

She tenses up which makes my smirk grow. She shivers seeing my confident facade grow which makes me happy that my acting skills have improved over these months. She mumbles something to herself before speaking directly at me.

“Sir Ano- Mist- I mean! Lord Anonymous, I, Student of Princess Twilight Sparkle have come to duel you for the reclaim of Canterlot on the behalf of Princess Twilight!”

I laugh at her and lean forward with my fake smirk. I opened my mouth to speak but no sound came out. Why? Because I'm wondering why the FUCK did Twilight send her student to face against the villian who took over Canterlot in a single day and beat her in magic combat!? Is she fucking HIGH!?

I glare at her and catch my voice again. “Twilight sent you… to duel against me?”

Luster nodded her head and brace herself while my anger started to take over. “Is this a joke?” I asked.

“No, sir! I have been tasked in defeating you!” Luster puffed her little chest out and ignited her horn. Her confidence was really inspirational. Did she have something to beat me? Time to fish.

“You seem awfully confident that you can face me, Luster… Why so?” I cup my chin as I look over at her.

Luster smirked back at me. “Because I have something you abandoned! Friendship!” I tense up and expected others to pop out and surprise me. Nothing came out so I looked her expectantly only for her smirk to stay put on her muzzle.

“I see… Well, where are your friends then?” I raised a brow at her. She looks back at me surprised and looks away with nervousness clear on her face. “Oh well… they had to go to school today… But! As long as I believe in friendship then I can beat you!”

Holy shit. Holy fucking shit. I couldn’t help it, my façade broke and I leaned against the throne with wide eyes. I could feel my veins bulging on my forehead right now, I'm so fucking mad. “Luster Dawn, that is not how friendship works..”

She raises a brow at me and giggles. “Um that IS how friendship works.. or at least that’s what Princess Twilight taught me. Are you going to come down here and get your flanked kicked or am i gonna have to come up there, i mean it’s gonna hurt both me and you cause you know… I always respected you Si- Lord Anonymous but Twilight told me to do this for Equestria so i got to knock some friendship back into you!”

I couldn’t fucking take it anymore. I put my face in the palm of my hands and fucking screamed. I heard her panicked clops but I couldn't care less. Everything was wrong. From my victory to Twilight's hiatus to THIS. I almost reminded me of how Celestia dealt with disc- I pulled my hands away from me face and guessing Luster’s scared expression i must’ve looked really fucking pissed.

I couldn’t fucking believe, i mean well i could but still this was so fucking stupid! Twilight was following Celestia’s teaching method of just… sending her student to face big baddies to overcome and grow in friendship! Did Twilight literally view me as her own Discord just because I stayed up here!? Petrified up here to be dealt with later when the time was right!? A stepping stone for her student!? Not only that but Luster clearly fucking misunderstood Twilight’s friendship lessons!

I stood up from my chair and ripped off the bell from my belt and shook that motherfucker and snapped my fingers. My wish was fulfilled and I teleported to Luster’s side and quickly picked her up. She gasped and quickly started to squirm as best as a waist reaching horse could.

“L-let go you fiend!” She croaked out as she squirms against my grip. I scowled hard and threw the bell up in the air to smack her flank which made her let out a scared neigh. I catch my falling bell and glare at her.

“Luster, my anger is currently FUCKING immeasurable and the news you have brought to me have ruined my FUCKING day! You don’t understand jack FUCK about friendship and Twilight can’t teach you SHIT about friendship! I am going down there and we are going to have a Villian to Princess to Student conference and talk about how FUCKED you two are!” I yelled out as I started to walk down the hall with Luster.

Fuck Faust and the Script it's all gone to shit now! Me and Twilight are going to have a long fucking talk.

Author's Note

Story concept :Anon Being a villian

A idea that came during work about Anon being the final villian of G4 to teach Twilight the lesson of betrayal and loss to prepare her for the deaths of her friends.

Originally this story was going to be bittersweet. Luster Dawn coming to face anon because Twilight could not face someone who she trusted and loved, only to be saved by Twilight as she comes to realize that for the good of Equestria anon must be put down and she must move on. Twilight would win their duel letting anon be banished with his last actions being a smile and the last words "I knew you could do it, good job Twilight." Or something more bittersweet.

How did this ending come out instead? I realized it would be kind of funny for Twilight to follow Celestia's shitty teaching of throwing her student at great evils to learn friendship and repeat the cycle.

Farming Keks

“And so I said, Oh yeah!? If you gonna talk smack you better be ready to get smacked!” Smolder shouted enthusiastically while smacking a fist into her palm. Gallus and Yona chuckle beside her as they head to their usual table. Silverstream and Sandbar pause their conversation to smile at their approaching friends, Ocellus was off to the side reading a book and mumbling to herself, she gets knocked out of her zone with the trio taking a seat at the table.

“Oh, hey guys..” Gallus with a small smile gives a lazy wave to Ocellus and focuses on Sandbar and Silverstream.

“What were you guys talking about?”, Gallus tilts his head. Silverstream gives a grin and looks at Sandbar. “Oh we were just—”

“Silverstream!” A male voice shouts nearby, making the Young Six turn their heads to the source and the rest of the cafeteria. Gallus upon seeing the source of the voice quickly deadpanned and groaned. “Oh no…”

Anonymous the human. The only one of his kind in Equestria, first student of the Mane Six, and holder of the title of “Discords chaotic left paw” but the more important title…”Maker of fools”. He approached the Young Six table with a confident stride that Ocellus had only seen male changelings do when they were ready to flirt, she deflates at the thought of flirting with Anon and gives a worried glance to Silverstream who keeps her smile thought a bead of sweat leaks down her cheek.

Anon in a smooth motion does a neat slide over to the table where he crosses his arms and smirks at Silverstream. He winks at her which makes Smolder gag and Yona cringe. He stares into her blue violet eyes for a while, Silverstream inhales slowly before exhaling and giving a determined gaze back at anon which increases his smirk.

“A-anon… I don’t know what trick you have up your sleeve… BUT it isn’t going to work—”

“Silverstream I want to plant my seed in you.”, Anon interrupts her with a statement so blunt that sends a wave of silence over the populace of the lunch room only to be interrupted by the sound of a dropped tray. Sandbar's jaw drops as he stares at the madman, Gallus gives a concerned yet confused look at the human, Smolder looks at anon with surprises with a slow nod of approval towards his straightforwardness. Yona stares at him with shrunken eyes and an opened mouth, Ocellus sat there with a blank stare, clearly processing what he just said.
Silverstream looks at him with her mouth open and gaze still the same… for a minute before her faces starts to turn into a nice shade of red and her mouth closes, Silverstream quickly gives up her battle against Anon and looks to her friends for someone to get her out of this, it was truly unfortunate when Anon’s hand comes over and gently cups her chin and pulls her face to look back at him. This action only made her face redder.

“A-A-A-A--AA-AA-A”, She attempts to form his name only for him to give a “shoosh” and lean in close to her. Silverstream starts to freak out on the inside as her beak starts to meet the slowly approaching human lips. When the distance of their mouth’s are mere inches she gains the nerve to prevent her first kiss being stolen.

“A-A-Anon! I don—”, Anon's face changes form his smirking façade to his Mischievous grin, in a quick motion he reaches in his pocket with his left hand to pull out a single sunflower seed and put it on her tongue which freezes her up again. He backs away with her with a satisfied look on his face.

“There we go, seed planted..~”, Anon smiles as he looks at the sight. The beautiful sunflower seed resting upon the tongue of the only hippogriff student who stood there wide eyed, confused, embarrassed and most importantly puffed up. Her beak slowly closes as tears start to form at the corners of her eyes.

“Oh my. Oh my, oh my, oh my , oh my, oh my... Silverstream why are you so red? It was only a seed I wanted to feed you…. ”, He leans forward with arms behind his back as he looks at her reddened face. “Did you think I meant something else when I said that…?”

Silverstream started shaking in the air as she internally begged him to not say what she knew he was going to say, begging for a show of mercy to her foolish naïve brain. Mercy for daring to oppose him, but mercy would not come. “ Oh Silverstream… What a dirty mind you have…~”

The line echoes through her head, her brain continuing to process this information and overloading her with it. Silverstream swallows the seed and does the only action that is suitable for this moment. Retreat. She quickly flaps her wings and flies out the cafeteria in a blur all while releasing the cries of defeat. Anon watches with great enjoyment before turning around and heading back to his table while pumping his fist in the air. A terrifying laugh escapes him as he ventures back to his cavern.

“Kekkekkekkekkekkek…”

The Young Six watch as he walks away before looking at each other. Confusion, concern, and fear entered all of them as the thought came to them.

“Who’s next on his list?”

Author's Note

Story Concept: "I wanna plant my seed in you" Proceeds to put sunflower seed in victims mouth.

I...I'm not joking this story was born from this dumb thought that came out of nowhere and made me chuckle and... I wanted to write it. Nothing really in depth about this one I just... don't look at me like that.

At least you're not Pharynx!

“Spike. Why is Thorax such a fucking pussy?” Anon asks as he stares at the working changeling leader from a distance. Spike flinches at his swear before looking up at anon. “Uh… because he’s a good guy?”

Anon cups his chin as he stares at the distant Thorax apologizing to an annoyed lesser changeling. “Yeah but… Celestia’s not a pussy.” He notices Spike flinching again at his word and gives a small cough.

“Celestia’s not a wimp. Have you ever seen her give in so easily when she’s not tired?” He asks and Spike cups his tiny chin and looks at the ground as he ponders. “No….” Spike says after a bit.

“She’s a good guy. Same with Ember, Rutherford, and Novo. You can’t just go up to them and demand an apology and get it so easily.” Anon rolls his hand as he watches Spike's brooding expression.

“W-Well.. Thorax is new to this whole leader thing, dude.” Anon rolls his eyes and frowns.

“Spike. He has been a Leader for an entire fuc—hecking year." Spike smiles at his change of swearing.
"He’s friends with Ember, gets along with other leaders and they even invite him to the bars after meetings. He should’ve picked up some assertiveness by now! The only time I ever saw his green hard ass be assertive is when he thought you were in danger and then when you wronged him.” Spike raises a claw but pauses and looks back at Thorax and dwells on what Anon said.

“....Oh crackle, you’re right…” Anon nods triumphantly as they stare at the approaching changeling leader.

“O-oh hey guys! I didn’t notice you here!” Thorax notices the duo's expression and gives a worried look. “Uhhh… is something wrong?”

Spike glances over to Anon who glares at Thorax, with a sharp finger jab to Thorax's large chest gem-thing as he yells at the Changelingking . “Thorax you’re a fuc—hecking pushover!” Thorax looks at Anon with widened eyes and a sad frown to him.

“I’m sorry…” Anon jabbed his finger against Thorax's chest again. “There! Right there! See Spike! This is what I mean!” Anon swings his head around to Spike.

“If I had said this to Ember, Luna or Rutherford I would’ve had an argument on my plate! Instead he just instantly, and I mean INSTANTLY apologized! This guy has no backbone to save his life! No wonder Pharynx is the shadow leader of the hive!” Anon moves away to cross his arms and give a disappointed gaze to the changeling king who can only look down in shame.

Looking down at the saddened King Anon lets out a sigh and places his hand on the changeling’s back. “Listen Thorax, it bothers me okay. You got to be someone who can give the people candy but also wield a whip. A spiked whip with rusted spikes just to add that good ol' Tetanus! If you keep being a pussy… your spoiled these dumb fucks.”

Thorax looks up at Anon with a frown. “B-but I don’t wanna whip my subjects…!”

“I mean that as a metaphor not literal. You gotta be able to punish them or tell them no.” Anon closes his eyes and frowns as he releases another sigh, he looks back at the changeling with a soft smile.

“I will give you credit though, you’re a pussy who only barks and bites when wronged. You’re definitely better than Pharynx wannabe Sigma-bug ass”

Thorax smiles slightly. “Uh..thanks..?”

Spike looks up at Anon. “What's wrong with Pharynx? Other than the obvious….”

Anon throws his arms up in the air and lets out a drawn out groan. “Before Thorax reformed his ass he was a bug that could bark AND bite! Now he only barks!”

Anon runs a hand over his face before crossing his arms. “Which I get because the changeling have pretty much destroyed their backbone so barking at them gets them spooked like a herd of sheep but—”

Anon eyes glance over and spot Pharynx in the distance talking to a group of changelings or most likely barking at them as usual. “Better yet let me show you guys what I mean.”

“PHARYNX!” Anon makes a cone over his mouth as he shouts, Pharynx looks at his direction and grows a clear look of annoyance on his face. Dismissing the group he flies over to the trio and takes place beside Thorax.

“What, Anonymous.” Pharynx narrows his eyes at the human while his scowl forms.

“Pharynx…it’s…it’s time we have a talk.. about you.” Anon uncrosses his arms to put them on his hips as he looks down, a look of disappointment on his face.

“Spit it out then.”

“You’re …mn. You’re spineless.” Anon looks at Pharynx eyes with pity. Pharynx takes minute to register what thehuman just said before glaring at him and taking a step forward.

“What!? Say that again, Human...” Pharynx says with venom laced in his tone. Thorax and Spike start to back away.

“You’re a spineless coward, who can now only talk crap but never actually deliver. I don’t remember the last time you threatened to punish a changeling but actually went through with it, all you do is threat, threat, and threat.” Anon rolls his eyes.

“Oh yeah? How about I show you right… now.” Pharynx transforms into a large flying insect and towers over Anon before roaring at him. Anon hair and tie blow from the power of his roar. Anon gives him a deadpan stare as he looks up at Pharynx. The two stare at each other for a while, Pharynx glances to the sidelines and sees numerous changeling’s watching them, many with worry and concern on their faces.

Pharynx looks back at Anon and glares, he transform back into normal and lets out a “Tch” as he looks away.

“Bah, you’re not worth it.” Pharynx turns around and flies away to another part of the hive. Anon looks at Spike and Thorax, both clearly surprised that Pharynx let him go. He points at the flying general while shaking his head.

“See! I fuc—hecking told you guys! Congrats Thorax, you’re 100% better than your brother.”

“..I..uh..Wow Thanks!” Thorax smiles.

Spike couldn’t help but let out a laugh. “Hahahaah! Wow! I can’t believe you got away with that!”

The Group share a laugh together as they watch Pharynx fly off in the distance. Pharynx looks back at Anon and glares, swearing vengeance for this shame one day.

Author's Note

Story Concept: Thorax being a pushover and Pharynx's change making him unable to deal with hecklers like before.

This came from my observation of changedling being more "wimpish" than before and so I happen to think of "what would happen if Pharynx was still mean to get them moving. It wouldn't work out with how much they cry to Thorax. Pharynx would probably have to lower his aggression and do more scolding than punishing resulting in him being "all bark no bite"

Which in turn would make anon think he's a pussy and worst than Throax. Originally the story was going to be titled "Pussah" but I didn't want to take the risk. This one might have a sequel.

The Power of Friendship

Sup, Names Baxin, writing in my future autobiography journal from now. First and only human. Assassin for hire. How’d I, a previous hitman from earth, end in a land filled with wack-ass talking creatures? Fuck if I know. All I know is this world has medieval nobles and a political system that is ripe for harvesting cash from these scumbags! Hahahaha!

I bank on these suckers, turns out being a human here has a lot of advantages.. And disadvantages. Let me give ya an example, cause I’m the only human around these lands and don’t have claws. It makes cases of strangulation harder for them to figure out who dun’ it. However these creature do have mother natures fuckin’ bullshit gifts, horns, claws, sharp teeth, muscle mass, speed, and bleh.

Shit makes me have to work out weeks in advance before a job just to get in top shape in case shit goes down. Worth it though, I get payed fucking insane amounts of dough! Enough to get my own little pilot of land in the woods with a cabin with a nice river nearby for fishing and bathing! I’m living the good life! killing animals for… pretty much sport!

And it’s only getting better too! I recently received a fifteen million bit contract, let me repeat that for ya. Fifteen . Million. Bits. I’m going to be fucking LOADED after this job! Goddamn! However when I looked at the target I did see why this was my biggest paycheck today. I was tasked with killing Equestra’s newest princess, Twilight Sparkle, Princess of fucking friendship. How cheery.

At first I thought this was going to be pretty easy.. Until I got more info from my informants. Apparently she is the youngest child from a noble family, her big brother Shining Armor is… Princess Cadence’s fucking husband. Okaaaay… right? Nope there's fucking more! She is Princess Celestia’s fucking personal student, she is a the student of a benign that control that ball that makes me want to die when it’s summer. Guess what though… THERE IS MORE. She is apparently the leader of the “Elements of Harmony” which is a group of six ponies with powerful artifacts that have defeated an alicorn called “Nightmare Moon” , Discord a Lord of Chaos, King Sombra who i don’t know who he is but I assume he’s pretty strong and Tirek a magic eating demon horse..thing.

…………If i get fucking caught after killing her my life is fucking OVER! Donezo! Erased! If I leave any clues behind that could lead to my identity I will be hunted for the rest of my life! This job will absolutely fuck me if I fail! But that cash tho.

I accepted this shit with the confidence of a god! If I succeed not only will I be set for years but also I can proudly call myself a “legendary assassin” and with a title like that I can do wonders! Maybe train pupils to be legendary like me when I get older, start an assassin guild! Worm my way into a high position or in the pockets of a noble. With a title like that I can have so much influence and power in the political world that noblity will literally do bid wars just to officially fucking hire me!

I’m gonna start working out and scouting out the area she resides in for now. Next time I write it’ll be after the job is done. I can’t wait to read the news and get those bits.

5/22/1014

Baxin back again…

So I um… did the job. It was… really fucking easy. She has like.. No guards, her castle is so out of place in some town miles away from Canterlot, the only occupant in the castle is Twilight and her kid dragon, who has dull claws and short range green flames. Otherwise that's.. All the security she has, the rest of the elements live in different housings that are quite the distances away from each other. So after observing her routine aka, wake up, breakfast, study, hang out with elements, solve issues, fuck off, study, bathing, dinner, sleep.

Pretty simple for a “Princess of Friendship” no meetings every hour or a throne room with guards constantly watching. So I went in for the kill the next day, starting with Breakfast. I snuck in and put one hundred doses of “I read it’s poisonous so I dumped it in a mixture and made it into a liquid somehow” my specialty mind you, into her dragon made coffee. She drank that shit with no hesitation and I watched with glee… only for it to vanish as she did die no instantly… or in the next two minutes. Instead what happened was the rumblings of a volcano about to erupt in her stomach.

That shit was LOUD, it made the dragon jump and drop his own mug of coffee on the floor. Kahahahahahha! But she didn’t die instead she rand to the bathroom where I sneakily followed only to hear… what I can only deem as “The splashes from the Swamps of Dagobrah” that shit sounded brutal. I felt my ass clench when I heard the sounds she was making in there. For the first time in my life I felt… pity for someone else… until the smell started leaking from under the door and I fucking bolted out of there and vomit in a trash can. Rest in Peace my morning cinnamon buns.

Anyway she survived my first attempt and I had to turn in for the day just because she was on that toilet for fucking hours. Tomorrow Imma try again, let that… smell air out for a while.

5/23/1014

Baxin here…again

I’m not gonna lie. This is actually harder than I thought, and by harder I mean getting her to FUCKING DIE, entering the castle is as easy as breathing air but getting her actually die is like trying to find a dagger in a pile of straw! Let me explain.

I went back to the castle very early in the morning with a clear Idea that poisons won’t work on alicorns now so I went with physical harm. After all I heard that Celestia was beaten once and Twilight couldn’t have fought Tirek without a bruise or two if he really does get stronger by eating magic. I went with my classic execution style this run, the staircase banana. Placing a banana right before the top of a staircase makes unsuspecting fools tumble down the stairs, breaking necks, backs, limbs, whatever can be broken to be broken.

Though she’s an alicorn so I had to do a little extra, I looked around the castle and found a empty decorative vase, a quick thirty minute trip to Everfree to get intact poison joke with the soil i planted it in the vase and placed the vase at the bottom of the stairs. Poison jokes don't harm the individual… but it does disable them in a very funny manner. I love that this town is placed by Everfree, such a useful forest!

Back to the tale I waited around the corner, ready to jump out the castle window incase if the damn Dragon changes his route when he wakes up. I waited till the period of sunrise and spotted the Princess walking around the corner and towards the stairs. As said, the staircase banana is a truly flawless killing technique. She crumpled upon meeting the banana and screamed like a banshee. I watched with glee as she tumbled down the stairs, hitting her face against a step, back arching over a step, a bounce making her slam into the side wall, it was glorious. After her great fall she faceplanted the vase, shattering it and letting the plant smoosh against her purple face.

She didn’t move for a while, I was close to walking out to check her plus when she stood up with her now wobbly horn, and wobbly wings that swung like noodles on every turn. She had a few scratches on her but no cuts or impalement from the vase. Her vocal cords were in good shape as she proceeded to yell out the dragon's name and slowly walk up the stairs with a limp, so some injury was made. I followed along just to watch the dragon be framed for my trap, I don’t think the dragon could take her seriously when every time she moved almost everything wobbled.

I watched her for the next two hours to see how long the limp lasted, approximately thirty minutes. So she passively heals or just simply adapts to the pain like we humans do when he bumps our leg against the corner of a table. The dragon was punished by cleaning the staircase for a couple of hours and the vase. I decided to leave it there for the day.

So far she shows

fatal immunity to venom, but not poison.

She can get bruises and scratches on the surface but those fade away in time, either heals naturally or can just quickly adapt to pain.

So in short she’s built different, tougher than normal ponies as expected. So I’m going to have to use on hand means, blades, my crossbow, or just suffocate her.

I didn’t want to make this bloody so I’ll use my special hands tomorrow.

5/24/1014

Baxin here and I have to say, Alicorns are fucking weird.

So I mentioned I’m going to use my hands yesterday, right? Well I did today. I waited till night this time, and waited for her to sleep. I snuck over by her small bedside and put on my gloves. I wrapped my hands around her little fuzzy throat and started applying pressure and… holy FUCK it was hard! It was like… trying to squeeze a watermelon with your hands!

I kept trying to choke her but Christ her muscles are fucking tough! In fact I think she was enjoying it in her sleep! She had a small smile on her face and moved every once in a while just so I could choke her at a different angle! Oh yeah let me remind you that I am in my PRIME condition! I can literally pick up three fucking tree logs over my shoulder! I once killed and pick up a fat ass fucking yak with ease! I could not close her airway with my raw strength!

So I gave up. I decided to just lodge something in her throat, so I needed her in deep, deep sleep so I could open her mouth and put something in it. So I was going to reach in my bag and pull out a lavender scent candle… when she wrapped her forelegs around one of my arms. Normally it’s not a big deal, I’ve had victims do this to me multiple times… HOWEVER I should’ve at the time realize that when you have a lot of muscle that cant even be forced to close then imagine the raw strength you have,

I experienced that. Her strange grip was so strong that when I tried to pull away I nearly dislocated my fucking shoulder! It felt like My arm was trapped under fucking steel logs! No matter what, I could not escape her small grasp but oh let me tell you… that wasn’t the worst part! No, no , no! Because I kept struggling, apparently she got annoyed in her sleep and pulled my arm closer to her, or I should say... Yanked it.

She pulled me on top of her and proceeded to wrap all hour of her limbs around my like some sort of fucking spider and nuzzle her face against my chest. I was fucking terrified of waking her so I “Cuddled” her for a couple hours until finally she turned in her sleep and released me. I didn’t even have the will to proceed in putting something down her throat. I fucking left for the day.

So I’m adding that to the notes.

Dense muscle mass despite looks

Really fucking strong

Fur is really soft like a cats

She talks alot in her sleep

She is very touchy in her sleep

She smells nice

Tomorrow I’m going for blades,

5/25/1014

God fucking DAMNIT

No fucking wonder this contract pay is fucking absurd! This bitch is immortal! I mean in age type and fucking body type! Let me tell you how I came to this conclusion! So I woke up early in the morning one again to enter the castle and plant numerous traps. From a malfunctioning toaster that once touched will send electricity through the target. Next, a tripwire that would make one of the castle Chandeliers fall onto the victim and impale them through the sharped underside of its core, if they move the ladder for the library A bowling ball will slide forward and land directly on the victim.

There's more! I placed the banana trap again on the stairs, but this time with a vase filled with burning on contact acid, I trapped a door so that trying to close it would launch it it forward that either crushes your head between the door frame and the door or it hits your face so hard that it breaks your skull on impact. Last trap as is the bathroom cabinets, made it so when you open them a knife shoots out, simple, dirty, easy to get rid of and frame as suicide if it hits a foreleg or neck.

Now that I told you about my setup, let me tell you how SHE SURVIVED EACH ONE! First the banana, she woke up as usual and easily slipped on the banana again, it was funny, she landed on the vase with her stomach, the acid didn’t even fucking burn her skin! IT BURN HER FUR OFF THE SKIN! So she had a pink belly exposing her uncovered skin. She realized this when she saw a mass of lavender fur all over the ground and air pressing against her skin.

Of course she yelled at the dragon again and framed him for this. He tried to argue back but her rage overwhelmed the poor dragon. Next, was the toaster, after her yelling she grabbed some slices of bread and put them in the toaster. When she touched the lever the electricity sprung forth and I watched her fur and mane puff up and listened to her screams of pain.

I was so fucking sure this killed her because she laid limp on the floor for three minutes when it was over but nope! She got back over slowly and let out a pissed of groan and yelled at the dragon that the toaster was broken. She begrudgingly ate her toast after that with some coffee.

After that she headed to the library and triggered the tripwire trap, she didn’t even notice when she broke the string and the sound of chandelier chain snapping. The chandelier fell but I guess the incoming shadow caught her attention because she looked up and I saw fear… for four seconds before she formed a barrier spell around herself that made the chandelier break on trying to challenge it. She stood there for a bit trying to calm herself from her near death experience, I think?

After that she yelled at the dragon again telling him the chandelier broke, I felt bad for the dragon at this point. Next was the library, she searched for a book, grumbling to herself about how bad this day was. Unable to find the book on the lower levels she flew up to look at the upper levels which… I forgot she could fly. Luck was on my side this time as she bumped against the ladder, the bowling ball fell and hit her directly on the noggin.

YET no blood, no knock down, NOTHING, just a yelp of pain and a grasp at the top of her head as a comical bump formed at the top. She whimpered and rushed to get an ice pack in the kitchen. Then yell at the dragon again, about leaving bowling balls. I was ruining both of their days.

The door was next, it happened in the afternoon, she went to the door to grab something from inside but wondered why the door was open in the first place. She inspected it and pulled it with her magic to see if the door was messed up and the dragon didn’t tell her, of course she set off the trap and it slammed on her…. Yet because of her muscle build the door swung and broke right through her. Making a Twilight sized hole right in it, she flinched but didn’t even show any signs of pain.

She groaned and yelled at the dragon again. I was feeling so fucking demotivated at this point.. Like you cannot imagine the despair I was feeling just watching every trap that has killed others in the past work on her but also fail. The last trap triggered at night, after bathing she checked the lower cabinets and the knife flung out… and much to my SURPRISE it grazed her.

It missed due to her reaction, but it did cut her! She bled out.. Only a bit and freaked out over the bleeding but… she healed it within 10 seconds after calming down with her magic. I think it was probably here that something clicked in her mind that someone placed traps in her castle, cause she freaked out and dashed to the dragon.

I don’t know what they said because I was tired from watching her all day. I retreated for now… demotivated kinda but some hope does exist. You see, the knife probably wouldn’t land fatally deep in her if she didn’t react, not with those muscles anyway. It was designed to cause bleed out more than anything, design to cut a artery and be a slow bleed out.

So in order to kill her… I need something that can launch things at high speeds, be designed to kill rather than bleed out, and sharp enough to pierce her muscles. AKA my fucking crossbow, there is no good angles inside the damn castle for a crossbow unless I just lay in the hallway and wait for her to walk around the corner and snipe her. I didn’t want to do this but.. If I’m going to use the crossbow I gotta do it outdoors.

I think the clock tower would be a good spot to shoot from, gotta practice my aim in the morning before I head out. I hope this puts a end to this, If this doesn’t do her in then i’m about to spend a month researching magic and using funds to fucking find something mystical to kill her.

5/26/1014

I….I…. I FUCKING DID IT!

THAT'S RIGHT, I BRAXIN, KILLED TWILIGHT SPARKLE. AHAHAHAHAHH!

Alright I’m calm now. So Like I said yesterday I took up my trusty crossbow with an enchanted gem arrowhead bolt and positioned myself up at town’s clock tower. I waited there for hours, watching the town's main street. Eventually she showed up, walking with the dragon and the white unicorn element of… something. I had her in my sights but decided to wait on it.

That chance that she could react to it still existed, so I waited until they went into a cafe and ate on the tables outdoors. Distracted, Check. Incoming panic to secure my escape, check. Perfect distance and angle? Hell yeah , checked. With my checklist done I fired my shot and.. It. Was. Glorious.

Mid chomp the air pierced her chest with such an impact that it knocked her out of her seat. After that her eyes were wide and her body still for a long while. An instant death. I held my breath as I suspected the surrounding ponies did as well when they all turned to stare at their princess on the ground with an arrow embedded in their chest. Then it turned to chaos.

Ponies screamed, ran around, fainted and quickly started spreading the news that Twilight died while the dragon and white unicorn ran over to check on twilight. The white unicorn looked at the bolt and fainted pretty fast, leaving the dragon to fend for himself. Poor guy. Anyway I used the chaos to slip away from the tower unnoticed and finally freed from this job. Legendary status, here I come!

Baxin, out.

5/27/1014

I checked the news today.

She lived.

I’m going to drink tonight.

5/28/1014

Baxin here.

So.. To continue off of yesterday, Twilight Sparkle lived. Apparently the arrow did hit her, but missed her heart. That limp, wide eye stare she had? That was her dealing with the sudden instantaneous pain that I inflicted on her. She apparently pulled the arrow out and healed. Which led to my current predicament. She knows someone is out to kill her now. So does… every connection I mentioned before.

Princess Celestia, Luna, Cadence, Shining armor ,and the elements of harmony. I checked on the castle and it is SWARMED with a royal guard. In fact the town was swarmed with them. Patrolling streets, watching the roofs, alleyways. They were absolute in making sure that I had no hiding spots, thank the gods for telescopes.

Her route hasn’t changed but now she is accompanied by her friends and a group of elite guards that follow behind her at a distance.

I’m… I’m so demotivated, I recently asked myself is this even worth it? Can I even kill her in the first place? Sure I can defeat her but kill her? I don’t know… I’m going to give it one last try, I’m throwing everything I got at her and if it fails… I’m dumping this contract.

One last run.

Please die Twilight, for my sake.

5/29/1014

Failure.

I should’ve known it would’ve failed.

I snuck in early in the morning, trying venoms once again. She vomited and guards
swarmed to check every content, found I placed everything, next she hit a trap and shot a knife that she caught. The guards swarmed and found every trap.. Not without injury mind you. They’re not smart enough to disarm traps yet.

I shot her again, she bubbled. Guards swarmed the spot after I snuck through… Yeah I got fed up with her shit. So when she went inside a tea store with the yellow pegasus I shot a bolt with an explosive tip at the end. Judging from how the building went boom and I saw the princess had bubbled herself and the seller.. She had enough reaction time.

I booked it out of there and returned home. I’m fucking done with this. She is too alert now and too much security on her. Maybe I’ll go back to it.. After all, the contract doesn’t have a due date. I’ll lay low for a while.. Drown in my annoyance at this contract, maybe go after others just so I can feel better about myself.

Baxin Out

5/30/1014

I think I fucked up. Left a clue.

I noticed hoof marks around my area this morning. No pony ever comes around here, I think it's the guard. Probably scouting the area to plan a breach, goddamnit. I really liked my cabin too… I have to get my things quickly and lea

I just heard a knock right now,

I just heard Twilight's Sparkles voice, telling me to answer the door. Shit,

I just looked outside and saw Celestia and Luna outside with numerous guards. I think I’m fucked.

She teleported inside, most likely my living room. I hear her moving against my wooden floor. My guess is she wants to see her assassin or negotiate for my custody. If I hurt her then I’m getting swarmed.

I hear her climbing up the stairs.

I guess this is the end.

Baxin, the human assassin for hire.

Farewell

5/31/1014

Author's Note

Story Concept: Human Assassin vs immortal Princess in diary perspective

So I came up with this after reading another human assassin but with Luna. I don't remember the title but I remember it being very cliché and bad. So I wrote this. To satisfy myself and to try writing a diary / journal perspective. As for the ending and what's happens to Baxin... well that's up to you to decided for yourselves.

Scales n' Tails

Anon smiles and kicks the door into the Castle of Friendship with a grin, in his right hand was his nice pouch full of bits. He fucking loved Twilights weekly allowance for being a good little human, payed for not telling ponies to go fuck themselves or harass them for fun. He couldn’t help but laugh at this beautiful system Twilight had created for him as he rounded the corner to the hallway of guest rooms / rooms. He was definitely going to spend this on buying a pie to throw in Starlights face for the “incident” last week.

“Oh Anon! Just the bro I needed right now!” Anon laughter instantly dies hearing that young masculine voice. He closes his eyes and tries to walk forward but the patting on his leg told him that there was no escape. Carrying out a sigh he opens his eyes and looks down at the drake named Spike. The most sidekick made creature in all of sidekick history.

“Didn’t see you there Spike.” Anon hides his growing resentment to the dragon. “What do you want?”

“I need your opinion on something real quick! Wait here!” Spike smiles and quickly runs to his room and closes the door. Anon sighs and hopes this isn’t something stupid or something that would actually make him spend the bits on therapy.

“So.. ugh! You know about the Amity Ball right?” Anon curses himself as Spike begins to converse with him through the door.
“The fucking what?” He narrows his eyes at the door.

“Oh it's uh.. An old pony tradition that was being renamed to WOAH WOAH WOAH WOOOOOAH!” Anon blinks as he hears the sound of crashing coming from within the room, for a second worry settles in, exactly a second.

“I’m okay! Anyway is a pony dance renamed to be for everycreature!” The sound of stuff being rearranged is heard from the door.

Anon nods. “Okkkkaaay…?”

“And Twilight chose me to be the DJ for the event!” Spike yells excitedly and laughs,

“That's go- She fucking what now?” Anon brain pauses the info relayed to him then replays it in reverse and then listens to it again. He blinks and his mouth slowly drops as he could’ve sworn he just said that he was going to be the DJ of an event.

“I’m going to be the DJ! You know, like Vinyl Scratch!”

“Oh my god.” Anon begged the gods that existed to please undo this mistake that he is hearing.

“I know right! So I wanted to get your opinion on my DJ outfit! Euuugh! There we go! Anon, prepare your eyes for my newest debut!” Anon shivered, he could’ve sworn a cold wind came from the door and sent a shiver down his spine, a warning from the gods perhaps!? Maybe he should make an excuse and book now to save him, yeah that's what’ll he’ll do.

“Hey Spike I gott-” The door opens and Anon pauses mid sentence as his pupils shrink and his jaw drops to the floor. He sees.... a mind numbing nightmare in created by the cruelest gods.

In front of him Spike wore a simple gray hoodie with yellow metal zipper, maybe gold. However the weird… spike shaped… glitter.. Oversized…helmet, hat, dome thingy. Anon stared at the dome helm, it was familiar somehow despite how atrocious it looked then it hit him. The human Musician Deadmau5 oh god, how and why did Spike decide to make a helmet that somehow made Deadmau5’s helmet look terrible, did it always look bad? Oh god he could feel bits of his teenagehood innocence fade away.

Was Deadmau5 cringe? Was listening to him cringe!? Oh god. Oh fuck. He shivered as this existential crisis rose within him. Spike tilts his head at him while carrying a smug expression at seeing Anon’s speechlessness.

“Looks really good doesn’t it! I designed and made it myself!” Spike puts his hands on his hips and smirks. Anon slowly blinks and then looks to his bag of bits then back to the drake.

I don’t get paid enough to deal with this shit.

“Looks….. really, really, really good buddy!” Anon says with gritted teeth and gives a thumbs up with his free hand. Spike's eyes sparkle and he looks up at Anon. “Really! Hahaha!”

Spike puts his hand on his waist and looks proudly at nowhere in particular, with a smirk and speaks. “DJ Scales n’ Tails is in business baby!” Anon physically lurches at the name Spike gave himself. Out of everything he named himself Scales and Tails? He couldn’t believe such a shitty name could actually make him cringe so bad that vomiting seemed to be a good thing.

“I-I'm sure you’ll… turn all the heads at the ball, Spike.” Anon gives the fakest smile he could muster.

“Awww Shucks, Anon I don’t think it's that good now but thanks!” Anon and wishes him well before speed walking to his room and dry heaving. He drops his bag of bits and stumbles over to his bed, falling on his knees and burying his face into his bedsheets. He screams. How could Spike do this? How could Spike make one of Anon’s precious memories cringe… how could Spike ruin his teenage youth years.

He was going to need therapy after this.

Author's Note

Story Concept: Spikes godawful costume in shes all yak.

Honestly the fact that noone called out that outfit in the episode and the dj name in it was a sin so I felt like making a story about ones reaction to seeing the horror that is this outfit.

A Cozy Talk

“Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm……..hmmmmmmm? Hmmmmmm…HM, HM, HMMMM mhmmmmm… mhmm hm hmmmmmm.”

The sound of thoughtful hums travel through the empty hallways of the school of friendship, Anonymous, the school janitor stands with hands on his hips as looks over the freshly mopped floor. Of course it was mopped perfectly but making it look like you’re doing something when you’re very much doing jack shit is the true role of the janitor.

Successfully looking like he was judging the hallway for five minutes he smiles and places his mop back into his mop bucket. “All right! Now….” Anon looks up at the clock and his smile fades. “Five more hours to go. Fuck.”

Anonymous sighs and walks down the hallway with his precious fancy looking mop bucket. When Twilight told him she had a job that fitted him at the school of friendship he thought being a counselor , athletics coach, or something that wasn’t a fucking janitor. The only good think about this job was the fact he was pretty much by himself, no Sparkle to come fuck with him with question, no Glimmer sarcasm, no Spike worrying about his role as a side character in life, no issues just him, himself, and mop.

Hell he even had his own room at the school, well not a liveable room but a room that only he could enter, the janitor’s closet. The best place to waste time when he had to work during school hours. As disappointing and shameful the role made him feel the job itself was very lax and almost unneeded because what kind of student would dare make a mess in the school lead by Equestria’s guardian princess of friendship. Only dumbfucks or reincarinations of the mane six like thep pillars of something and those six kids who do dumb friendship shit and bothers him.

Opening the doors to the library he gazes around for any easy to see spots of trash, his eyes catching an empty bottle left on the table. “Motherfucker.” He hisses out at the sight of this crime.

Walking over to the table he picks up the bottle and turns on his heel to lock onto the trash can, with the skill that rivals gods and tosses the bottle at the trash can and watches it hit the trim and fall onto the ground. He stands there, stunned at this failure before letting a sigh escape him and walking over to pick up his shame and dunk it in.

“Golly!” Anon misses the trash can as he spins around, nearly falling over himself and forcing himself to catch himself on a nearby table. He looks to his left to see the pink pegasus filly smiling at him from the corner of one of the bookshelves.

“Cozy, you did that on purpose didn’t you!” Anon glares at her. Cozy gives an innocent smile as she walks around the corner to him.

“Maybeeee….” Cozy brings a hoof up to her lips and giggles. Anon frowns and stands himself up straight.

“Maybe? Maybe my rear, Cozy. What do I always tell you about staying after school?” He crosses his arms and glares down at her.

Cozy rolls her eyes and pouts. “That should go home instead of snooping around school because Twilight will get on your flank.” She repeats with a strong lack of enthusiasm, Anon nods his head along. “But!” She points a hoof to the man. “It’s the only time I get to see you!.” She huffs and sits on her flank with her forelegs crossed. “You’re never around during school hours….”

“Cozy….” Anon sighs and puts his arms on his hips. “I’m just a lowly janitor, you shouldn’t be staying late just to talk to me.. I appreciate it but I got a job to do and you have friends or a home to go to.”

“But Anon, I like hanging out with you!” Cozy gives a genuine smile that makes Anon’s resolve to be left alone crack.
“Cozy…”

“Anon…” The two stare at each other, their resolve being challenged. Cozy puts on her doe eyes and anon challenges it with a sharp glare. She sticks her bottom lip out, he forms a mean scowl. Eventually her fluttering her little wings breaks his resolve, he groans and facepalms.

“Fine, we can hang out…” He says with a strong bitterness in his voice.

Cozy breaks into a big grin and hops onto all fours. “Yay!” Anon grunts and returns to his mop bucket as Cozy follows.

“Do you know if the Library has any leftover trash?” Anon looks over to Cozy who shakes her head in response.

“Alright, classrooms then.” Walking out the doors with Cozy following him he slowly walks down the hallway. Looking over to his side he watches Cozy walk beside him with a pip in her step, he really didn’t know why she liked hanging out with him or enough to stay after hours to hang out with him. He couldn’t help but feel like she had some ulterior motive, abusive parents? Maybe, vocal abuse counts since that is what most ponies will do.

He closes his eyes as he tries to think of why Cozy would always hang out with him after school even after he keeps telling her not to.

“Anon?” He opens his eyes and looks down to see Cozy forward with a unreadable expression.

“Somethin’ up?”

“Yeah… it’s well I wanted to ask you a question… regarding friendship.” She looks down at the ground.

“Cozy. I ain’t a professor nor am I the professor type especially with… friendship of all topics.” He turns the corner of the main hallway. Eyes focusing briefly gazing out a nearby window to the castle of friendship. Ugh he really hated how Twilight started labeling stuff with “of friendship”.

“Yeaaaah but..well it’s controversial and I think only you can answer it.” Anon turns to look at Cozy, his eyes meets hers as she looks at him expectantly.

“A controversial question regardin’ friendship' that only I can answer?” He pauses for a moment to think then inhales. “Alright, I’ll take your bait.”

Cozy gives a small smile. She slowly inhales and looks away from him. “Do… Do you think friendship is a tool?”

“Oh?” His eyes slightly widen and he stops all movement as he fully processes her question, slowly he brings a hand to his chin and thinks. Cozy reacts late to his sudden pause and turns around when she is two feet away from him, her face bearing some surprise to see his thoughtful expression.

“Is friendship a tool…?” He mumbles to himself as he thinks, Cozy trots up to him and waits for his answer with a small smile forming on her face. After a minute or two he removes his hand away from his chin and looks at Cozy then around him to check if there were any eavesdroppers or spies from Twilight to watch him. Seeing the coast is clear he crosses his arms and looks at Cozy.

“No.” Cozy mood deflated hearing that and she looks down.

“But… if you want my honest and not biased opinion…” Cozy’s ears perk up and she swings her head back at Anon who has crouched down to almost her level, with a final look of his surroundings he answers. “Friendship is absolutely a tool.”

Cozy’s eyes widen and she finds herself unable to stop a smile growing on her face as anon looks away, she takes a deep breath in breath speaking up. “R-really! I’m just asking because I ..um.. Well noticed that friendship is able to help ponies a lot! But Twilight and others make it seem more…relationship focus and I couldn’t help but start thinking of..w-well… bad ways to use friendship.”

Anon lets out a chuckle that catches Cozy off guard, she tilts her head at him. “What's funny about that?”

“Oh! It’s just… hehe. I never really expected a pony to think like a human in terms of friendship.” Cozy couldn’t help but feel a tug of pride that made her push out her small fuzzy chest out a tiny bit.

“G-golly! Is that good or bad?”

“Twilight and others would say it’s bad but as the one and only human in Equestria I have the right to say it’s good.” Anon gives a small smile as he stands back up and starts moving again.

“If you told tell Twilight that friendship was a tool she’d deny it and talk more about the relationship part but friendship is a tool in the end. Befriending someone is getting close to them and lowerin’ their guard so they be more open about themselves, y’know a shoulder to cry on, a buddy to hang out that type of stuff but where I come from lowerin’ your guard is one of the biggest risks you could take.” Cozy’s focus was completely on Anon as he walked beside him, nodding along with his explanation.

“A lowered guard lets you be tricked, used, manipulated. I've seen people befriend someone solely for the reason of getting close to someone in that person's friend group. Heck, back in my world leaders befriend each other solely to look good and extend their power! Not because they like each other. Befriendin' the right people can get you into high places.”

Anon points to himself and smirks. “Take me for example, I’m friends with Twilight and she got a job at one of Equestria’s most honored schools and lives at her castle. Do you think if some random per-pony asked if they could live at the castle she’d easily just let them?” Cozy shakes her head which makes him snap his fingers and point at her with a smile.

“Exactly.” Cozy nodded

“Golly…Friendship sounds dangerous, Anon!”

“Cause it is, Cozy.” Anon's expression fell a bit when he said that causing Cozy to almost reach a hoof to place against his leg but stops herself quickly.

“Lowerin’ your guard lets you get..hurt when others abuse it. In many ways, I had my fair share of betrayals to me and betrayals to others. It's why despite what I tell you or others about my relationship with Twilight and her friends I don’t really consider them my actual friends y’know like part of my inner circle.” Anon gazes back at the castle again, a small frown comes to his face before he shakes his head and focuses back on Cozy.

“Isn’t that… using Twilight then?”

“Don’t say that. It makes me feel guilty but pretty much. Don’t tell others that.”
“You can trust me Anon!” Cozy smiles and brings a hoof over her lips and makes a motion as if she was zipping them up. Anon nods in approval of her silenced lips.

“Well, does that answer satisfy your curiosity enough to go home now?” Anon moves again with his mop bucket to the west wing of the school.

“Nope!” Cozy follows after him with a pip in her step.

“Figures…” Anon rolls his eyes and scans the hallway for any clocks on the wall.

“I do have a follow-up question now! Can I ask?”

“Hit me.” Cozy inhales once again as nervousness fills her form before she exhales.

“Is friendship powerful or just power in general?” Cozy struggles to look at Anon and turns her head away.

“Oh yeah! Friendship is probably one of the most powerful things to exist. With friendship you can literally end wars by befriending the enemy, turnin' wars or battles in your favor with multiple friends by your side. Friends can literally make you stronger via numbers and just general support. Honestly seeing Twilight with her friends is one of the best examples, one messed up and the rest picked them back up.”

Anon spots a clock and sees that only thirty minutes have passed, wow talking to people makes time fly fast. He stops in the middle of the hallway and decides to make time pass fast by randomly mopping.

“Like I said, friends can get you into high places. Twilight’s friends with the princesses and with that she became a princess and before that she literally lived in their castle. Honestly if Twilight was anywhere else she probably would be more… normal maybe or worse. I don’t know.”

Cozy fails to hide her smile and fluttering wings. “Wow! So friendship is a really powerful tool?” Anon smiles seeing her excitement and nods.

“Golly! Why would she not want to keep it for herself?”

“Cause she's too nice. I wouldn’t be surprised if another villain attacks us using a group of villains like uh.. Tirek and Chrysalis, maybe Sombra but I think he’s dead. Teaches them basic teamwork or improves their relations with each other so they can do teamwork. Hahah! I bet if that happened Equestria would be pretty screwed.” Anon doesn't see Cozy taking her notepad out of her saddle bag and writing that down with a smile.

“Golly, Anon. I never thought of friendship like this…” She looks up from her notes with a smile.

“Yeah, with how Twilight’s teachin’ you She expects you all to use it in I guess a good way because…. Pony culture, no offense.”

Cozy giggles and waves him off. “None taken! I do wanna know though… if you could, would you use friendship to gain power or maybe take over Equestria and become a ruler, subjugate other races and build an unbreakable empire that can’t be challenged?”

Anon pauses and slowly turns to Cozy and slowly blinks. Cozy gives a smile and looks up at him with sparkles in her eyes. For a minute he stares at Cozy before staring off down the hallway.

“Cozy that sounds extremely villainous and I feel like that is some foreshadowing in the future for you.” Nervousness starts to hold Cozy as her smile falters.

“However, that doesn’t sound bad. Probably would work too if you have enough charisma. Ponies are pretty gullible, don’t really take kindly to other creatures like uh.. Didn’t Twilight have to deal with a guy who said no non-ponies here?” Cozy nods. “Right, so as long as it’s not an absolute dictatorship you could probably do it. I might give it a try if I get bored enough one of these days.”

Cozy beamed at his explanation. “Golly Anon! You sound like you’d make a great villain!” Cozy clapped her hooves together for the human who chuckles and rubs the back of his head.

“Oh shush you. If you became a villain now you’d have a better chance than me just cause you’re a pony and you’re really young.” Cozy faintly blushes and looks away, trying to hide her face with her curly mane.

“G-golly do you really think so?” Anon nods and her smile grows wider.

“Mhmm, as far as I heard you’re a smart mare. Whatever you do with friendship is up to you, just know Twilight isn’t going to like it.”

Cozy nods and turns around. “I understand, Anon. I think I’m going to head home now! I have a lot to think about…”

“Good, stay safe.” Anon gives her a small wave then returns to his mopping. Cozy walks around the corner and breaks her façade, Blush covering her cheeks and a grin on her face, she could help to excitedly stomp her hooves on the ground and scream inside her mind. She excitedly whispers to herself. “I knew it! I knew it! I knew it! I knew it! I knew Anon was the only one who could really understand me!”

Saying that only made her heart beat faster and her to laugh to herself. “I knew I wasn't the only one who saw friendship as power! “ She stops moving to look down at the floor, staring at her own smiling reflection.

“Only he understands me… hehe. He really does! I knew it….” Cozy closes her eyes. “I knew it since we first met…” She slowly walks to the front doors of the school as she gives a genuine smile forward. “When I become empress , I'll make him my second no Advisor of friendship…. And maybe, someday…” She stops at the door, placing her hoof on it.

“I can… We can…” She shakes her head. “No… don’t hope just yet Cozy! Start hoping after you take Equestria!” She lifts her head up with a smile on her face, opening the door she trots down the path to town. With Anon’s advice fresh in her mind she had new plans to make if she was going to become a ruler and get her human.

Author's Note

Story Concept: A discussion over Cozy's belief in friendship with the wise janitor trope and the feeling of not being alone in your belief.

This was honestly a interesting thing to write because the more I thought about friendship in the mlpverse and in general the more I realize that Cozy was technically correct in her beliefs. Friendship is power more so in a literally sense in mlp. Like I explained in the story friendships main benefits are trust, numbers, and the support. If Cozy was really charismatic and had a cooler temper she'd probably be able to use ponies more effectively.

Twilight wanted to teach friendship for the good but with Cozy it showed that teaching friendship could be bad... making what Chancellor Neighsay said about her lesson being used against them come true. Cozy showed that friendship is more so a tool and humans indeed have used friendship as a tool to get to high position of power. SO all in all Cozy's belief that friendship is power is true due to how it can be used, is it bad? Yes, but this is the price of Twilight teaching Equestria's main source of power / magic to everyone else. It can be used for bad.

Thanks for reading this summary.

Crime Doesn't Pay

EINCK EINCK EINCK EINCK! My hand rushes out from underneath a layer of blankets to punch the alarm clock across the room.

“When the FUCK can i get a new alarm clock that doesn't sound like fucking shit!?” I grumble as I rise from the blanket mountain and exit the bed in nothing but my boxers with poorly drawn dicks all over it. A true symbolism of my feelings as of late. I Kick my bedroom door open and head to the bathroom to do my morning routine of shower, teeth and staring at myself in the mirror to wonder what went wrong.

As I look into my handsome fucking tired face I am reminded that I only have 15 minutes before work. 8 hours of boring bullshit. To think I was once considered one of Equestria’s worst threats years ago just brings me to another level of depression. Ruling over a kingdom with nothing but my sweet charisma and pretty much making a cult. Haaaah… the good ol days.

Fuck Celestia and that small ass Luna. Fucking arresting me and locking down here. Being locked down here was one thing but then coming down here to “promote me” for good behavior was the cruelest thing they have ever done, fucking bitches. I walk downstairs, nearly slipping on these smooth stone shit design fuckers. Fuck architects. I make it my kitchen and enjoy a bowl of warm oatmeal, the only decent breakfast food down here,

After that I get stuffed full of oats I go upstairs and put on my work outfit, a red collar shirt and badge, black slacks with a belt and golden Cerberus belt buckle, socks and sandals because fuck my life. I complete it with my black shiny tie, and pointless but cool sunglasses. With a heavy sigh I exit my cabin of a prison and to the front door of Tartarus.

Jamming the key in the first thing I heard is the fucking Hiss of the Cockatrice as it tries to make me look at it in the eye like usual just so I can fucking be stoned. If it only it would kill me I would’ve look at that hybrid fuck a long time ago, but instead I run over and kick the fuckers cage,

“Shut up! I‘ll feed you soon!” I yell at it, the Cockatrice lets out one more hiss before lying down.

“1, 2, 3.” I cover my ears as I hear various roars, hiss, squawks, all types of bullshit. I walk over and punch the lantern on to show all the fucking abominations Celestia and her ponies have thrown down here for me to fucking deal with. God they’re all so fucking ugly and strangely they look sadder more annoyed than usual but how cares I’m sad and annoyed all the time.

“CERBERUS!” I shout. Not long after I feel the floor shake as Cerberus leaps out from one of the lower levels and lands in front of me.

“SHOUT!” I yell out the command and then proceed to cover my ears. Cerberus releases probably one of their tinnitus causing barks that shuts up the freaks. I walk over to the large dog and pat his leg.

“Good boy.” Cerberus leans down and nuzzles one of his heads against me, one of the benefits of this job. After that normal start up I go down and grab the bowls for the freakshows and start filling them with various foods, head back up and finally please them by giving them their breakfast.

I will never understand why Celestia decided to just randomly encase animals down here. I can only guess that either she’s doing it out of Spite for me calling her a “fat wrinkly ass harlot” or her sister is doing this because I called her “A tiny tight ass minotaur fucktoy”. Either way fuck them both. The day I get out of this position and back to roam again is the day I publish an article exposing their diets and widths of their asses to the public.

“Haaaaaaaah, next.” I go back down to get condensed liquidated magic in a jar for my least favorite prisoner. I dread each step I walk up to the stone spire, I can already hear him gloating to himself. I fucking hate my job specifically because of this guy…

I reach the top and glare at the man in question, Tirek or Looooooooooooooooooooooooord Tirek as he says. Lord of what you may ask? I don’t fucking know. All I know is that when I make it to the top he stops his gloating to glare at me.

“Don’t you dare-”

“Too late.” I throw the jar at his cage floor and watch it shatter, letting the liquid magic spread all over the floor. I start wheezing when I see Tirek kneel down and start lapping up the magic like some starving dog.

“HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHAHAHAHAHHAH!” Tirek gives one lick before glaring up at me.

“Warden Anonymous, I swear the day I am freed from this realm I will return everything…. EVERYTHING you have done to me back to you!” Tirek snarled before licking the floor again.

“Hahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa……… Yeah sure, old man.”

Tirek was one of the oldest and newest prisoners down here. He came after I got promoted which I believe is why I got promoted at all… to keep an eye on him. I spent years fucking with the guy until I decided to see if i actually had any control over this place other than feeding prisoners. Turns out I do. There's some relic that records those who enter and leave AND prisoners sentences.

Tirek was originally sentenced to 1032 moons. I have no clue how long that is but it eventually passed and I was able to use my key to open his cage, so I let him free after his sentence and let me tell you. The dude didn’t even last a WEEK before he came back. He was freed for only TWO DAYS! On his second day apparently he tried to take over Equestria, again. Got his ass beat and sent back down here for…. 2032 moons.

Still no clue how long that is but I think he’s going to fucking die before he gets out. Dude’s old as dirt but then again so am I. So as punishment for only last two days I constantly been fucking with him. Well I’m not really fucking with him for punishment I’m just doing it as therapy for my built up rage over these years. Would I even last two days of freedom? Cause I really, REALLY would like to slap Celestia and Luna across the face just once. Would that land me in Tartarus? Would be bullshit if it did.

I look back over at Tirek and find him finishing up his magic breakfast. “Good job, now for today's agenda.”

I take a clipboard and look over it and with the click of my tongue I look back at Tirek.
“Your agenda today is to not bitch and gloat for at least an hour.” I narrowed my eyes on him. “Can you even manage that?”

Tirek slowly stands and glares at the human. “You are a coward, a fiend, a pile of dried dung, I swear once I get out of this dreadful cage I will exact every single amount of humiliation you have given to me back tenfold!”

I simply stare at the old fuck before letting out a sigh and crossing off his agenda. “You didn’t even last twenty seconds this time, Christ man. Lighten the fuck up.”

Tirek weakly smacks his hands against the bars. “Maybe I would “lighten” up if you released me instead of tormenting me for years! You disgusting monkey abomination from the depths of the most disgusting of realms!” Tirek says with such venom in his voice that I look up from my clipboard.

“You fucker…. I released you ONCE years ago and first thing you do is try to take over Equestria and get butt fucked for it! Don’t fucking complain about freedom when I gave you it and you decided to just fucking push me down and shit on my chest while laughing while you did it, you disrespectful mutated old horse fucker!”

We exchanged glares before I walked away. Fucker should be happy that he was even allowed to go at least a mile from here and receive fucking letters, a better deal than I ever got. Did I mention I fucking hate Celestia and Luna? I feel I should say it again. I FUCKING HATE CELESTIA AND LUNA! I feel better now, time to waste time till lunch.

“Any fives?” I asked Tirek with irritation in my voice.
“Hah! Go fish, Mongrel” Tirek says proudly and smugly flexes his large deck of cards at my five cards.

“Fuck you.” I glare at the Smug centaur. Why am I playing go fish with this fucker I hate? SImple, it passes time for the both of us. As much as we hate each other we have agreed we hate the concept of time or “moons” more.

“Have any sixes?” Tirek says with confidence.

I smirk. “Hell no, go fucking fish.” I take enjoyment in seeing his confidence brought down somewhat.

“Have any…” I pause as I hear a sound coming from the entrance of Tartarus. Tirek looks over my shoulder at the door and we both watch it open and… six ponies enter. Instantly me and Tirek groaned which made me look at him.

“You know them?” I raise a brow at the old fuck.

“Yesssss…. They’re the ones who erruuugh… defeated me.” I stared at him for a while before my anger rose up and I looked back at the six ponies who just now freaked out at that cunt of a cockatrice, and turned my gaze toward Cerberus. Fucker is lazing at one of the lower levels instead of guarding, i picked up a pebble and toss at them. Heh, seeing them startled makes me happy every time.

They look up to the source and see me, my glare makes them whimper and I point two the group of ponies that just walked in. They get the gesture and rush over to inspect the ponies.

“I didn’t get any fucking notice of a visitation… or inspection…” I put my cards down on the ground and stand up.

“You had sixes! You lied!” I turn around and see Tirek glaring at my cards.

I defended my honorable action of course. “We didn’t agree on “no lying” as a rule.”

“You dishonorable lowly peasant!” I roll my eyes and turn back to the group, only to see them walking past Cerberus and towards me and Tirek. What the fuck Cerberus. Now I have to deal with these beings that have cause my misery, putting me back with this old fuck down here for more fucking moons.

I walk down the stairs and glare at the ponies who freeze up and stare at me wide-eyed. The usual reaction first time visitors have to me. I stand there, first adjusting my belt buckle then crossing my arms to show them my great authority over this bane of existence of a realm.

It's been a while since I’ve seen ponies but look at these six and am reminded on how fucking colorful they are, they looked way to out of place in this color scheme of purple and blues. Wait why the fuck does one have a actual rainbow for a mane and tail? Is she related to Celestia? She’s the only one I've seen who has something of a rainbow mane.

Why is there a tiny dragon too? Why is there one who’s just fully pink and one that looks like they came from Brokeback Mountain but lesbian edition. Wait. Wait a fucking second! The purple one is a fucking alicorn! WHAT THE FUCK? There's three Alicorns now!? What the actual fuck is this group.

“Halt! I am Vasily, Warden of Tartarus! You come without notice! State your fucking business, peasants!” They frown at hearing me call them peasants. Hehehe, go fuck yourselves. Slowly they approach me with the alicorn being the acting leader (of course) and speaking up. “Hello, sir! I am Princess Twilight Sparkle and I need to speak to Lord Tirek urgently!”

Of course I raise my brow and look back at Tirek who seems just as confused as me hearing this shit. Fucker hasn’t left in Months, and judging from his face he didn’t plant any weird magic bombs or something.

“And what is this issue?” I glanced back at her.

“Magic is disappearing from Equestria, and we believe Tirek has something to do with it.” I blink then look back at Tirek who’s…. Fucking smirking. Wait a second. I raise a hand at her and rush over to Tirek, gripping the bars I lean in the cage and start whispering. “The fuck is she on about!? Did you actually do something!?”

Tirek smirks and rolls his eyes. “Well not directly but… let's say I have a protégé who is.” Hearing him say that I think of the only way for Tirek to respond to someone.. Those letters.

“The fucking letters….” He nods and I groan. “I give you another piece of freedom I fucking LACK! And you instantly abuse it! I am actually going to fucking kill you!” I move my hands around his neck and he grabs my wrist.

“Wait, wait! Don’t you see what I’m seeing!”

“I’m seeing fucking red!”

“Well stop seeing red you despicable fiend! See the bigger picture here…” I let go and give him a chance, he points at the entrance and I follow it.

“You see My protégé is draining all magic from Equestria, right as we speak and the only ones who can stop it are here. Twilight Sparkle has no power. I suspect she used an artifact to get in here.” Now he has my attention and I nod along. “So she is helpless and locked in here.. You’re the only one who can get her out, and with no magic you can release me anytime… are you catching on?”

It took me a moment but I caught onto his scheme. “Wait…. She and her friends are trapped with us, I can release you now, give you the reserves of liquid magic and make you strong. Beat them, and the two of us walk out of here and lock them in. With no magic the spell keeping me bound here is lost!”

“Holy shit…” I look at Tirek bewildered at this scheme of his and his smile widens, the two of us for once share a laugh.

“It’s genius isn’t it!?” Tirek whispers with excitement in his voice, I know quickly and look back to see the confused group whispering among themselves.

“I’ll give them the go, you tell them whatever but keep them distracted. I’ll come up with the reserves, free you and then you drink those things as fast as possible and kick their ass and we’ll both be freed from each other.”

“Gladly” Tirek nods with a smirk. With our plan brought together I return to the group.

“I see… after a brief talk with Tirek..I…. Do suspect he might be up to something.” This catches Twilight and plants a determined sparkle in her eyes. I take that as the cue. “I give you permission to visit Tirek, if you need me I’ll be on the lower floors.” With that out of the way I pass the group and speed walk downstairs and into the depths of the realm to the storage closet.

Math isn’t my specialty and I don't know how many magic bottles I need to get Tirek to half of his fuckign strength so I just grabbed a bucket and stuffed them in until they started spilling out. Made my way back up the main level of the realm, slowly of course I was carrying a heavy ass bucket. When I reached the top I checked to see if the ponies were still at Tirek.

They were not. In fact I just heard the door close. In fact I see Tirek noticing me and looking nervous.

“.........................” I dropped the bucket and quickly walked to the center to see no ponies anywhere. I spun around and ran to Tirek, gripping the bars and pressed my head against his long face.

“Where did they go, Tirek?” He looked left and right and back himself to the other end of the cage. No. No. What the fuck did he do? I could already feel my blood pressure rise. I tighten my grip on the bars. “Tirek, what the fuck happened while I was gone…?”

He’s silent for a bit before looking at me and exhaling. “Listen if you were in my hooves you would’ve done the same.”

“WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO!?” I screamed at him.

“I… I gavethemmymagicsotheycanleavemebe!” Tirek looks to the side. My eye twitched, my eye never twitched but it did when I heard that. My brain repeated that line over and over again until I felt like I was in an endless void, falling into nothingness. Knowing it was a bottomless void the only feeling you felt was despair and anger for being trapped in such a place. Over and over his sentence repeated as I felt in this void, a despair growing in my heart that crushed any hope that I didn’t know I had left in me for freedom one day.

“Listen if you were ten minutes with that.. Pink abomination of a pony you… you would’ve done the same. The plan was going to work but I couldn’t stand another minute with her… S-surely you understand right!?” Tirek gave me a nervous smile. I wondered what he was seeing cause I couldn’t feel my face but I knew I was making some type of expression.

“......So you… you threw away our plan of escape…. Because you couldn’t handle being bothered for a while….. You turned a situation where we had the advantage around to the people being trapped with us having the advantage…” I gritted my teeth and stared at this mother fucker.
“Well… listen you must understand-” Tirek corners himself more.

“I UNDERSTAND THAT YOU THREW OUR FREEDOM UNDER THE FUCKING BUS! YOU FUCKED ME TIREK! YOU ACTUALLY FUCKED ME! YOU FUCKED ME SO FUCKING GOOD TIREK I’M NOT GONNA BE OKAY FOR A WHILE! I’M GONNA FUCKING KILL YOU, YOU FUCKER!” I screamed and ran around the other side of the cage to grab his neck. Tirek shrieked and ran to the other side where I followed. I don't know how long we were at it playing this game of chase. It would’ve probably ended in days if it wasn’t for the sudden blue portal opening up next to me and Tirek.

We both stopped in our tracks and looked at it. Out steps a pair of guards carrying a Tartarus cage with a… a fucking kid!? No fucking way is Tirek’s protégé a goddamn child! Why is a fucking child being sent down here!? I’m not a god damn baby sitter! Well I mean I technically am for the animals but you get it. While I was stunlocked by this reveal it got worse when I saw heeeeeeeeer.

Luna. Princess Luna. She stepped out the portal with disapproval on her face to the filly as the guard saw me, showed some shock then put her down and quickly backed up to the princess. Luna looked away from the filly and looked at me, we shared a glare.

“Vasily.” Luna says while sticking her head up.

“Luna.” I scowl at her. Tirek turns himself around to share in our exchange of glares to her.

“Lord Tirek.” She turns her gaze from me to him.

“Princess Luna.” He says bitterly. Silence takes us for a while, the filly looking out from her cage and at the three of us, I decided to break the silence with a classic ice-breaker.

“How's your sister doing? Still better than you as usual?” I couldn’t help but smile a bit at Luna, sharpening her glare at me and scowling.

“She is… doing fine.” I internally chuckle at seeing her struggle to not insult me in front of the guards. “How have you been, Vasily? I believe you still have another 1500 moons before We think about giving you parole.” That stung. Hard. I grit my teeth and clench my fist, she gives a cocky grin at me. God her face is punchable, would it even leave a bruise?

“I’ve been very….veeery,,,swell, no thanks to your oh so amazing sister and…you.” Her smile fades and she narrows her eyes at me.

“Um.” All eyes shift to the caged filly as she looks up with an innocent look on her face and points to me and Luna. “I’m sensing a lot of sexual tension between the two of you!” She giggles and both me and Luna’s eyes twitch.

I said something that I would never do to any other child at this moment. “Shut the fuck up.”

“Silence thy vocals, traitorous infant!” Luna took a step forward and lowered her head to glare at the kid, if looks could kill the kid would’ve been thrown into a blender. She shrinks back into her cage as Luna looks back at me.

“This is your newest Prisoner, Vasily. Thou name is Cozy of the Glow family, she is charged with treason against Equestria, 2000 moons she is sentenced here.”

“2000 moons for a kid…?” I cross my arms and raise a brow at her, before she can speak I raise a hand as something comes to mind. “Wait, lemme guess. You’re the one who sentenced her, only you could be so… cold hearted, and villainous to deem a child to be sent down here for years. I know Celestia would’ve given mercy to the kid with her warm hearted and lovely demeanor.” I sigh and shrug.

“You really are the cruelest sister.. No wonder no pony likes you.” I smirk as that seemed to have broken her, she leaves her guards to themselves and stomps over to me and jabs her hoof into my chest, utter hate and rage bearing her face as she looks up on me and yells.

“SILENCE THOU DISGUSTING TONGUE! You are an uncouth, scandalous, waste of existence, a plague on every realm, a villain most deserving of execution! Thou should be lucky Sister was there to give something like you a pint of mercy for all thou hast done! If thy had it my way we would’ve struck thee down long ago!” I lean away from her breath and a smirk.

“You prove my point that Celestia is better than you just now, no matter how many good deeds you’ll do you will always be in her shadow, Princess Luna…” Her face scrunches up and her horn lights up as she stares into my eyes with pure utter hatred that made me shiver a bit but knowing her I knew she wouldn’t do shit, not in front of guards at least. She glares at me for a bit, most likely thinking about what to do with me and the consequences before spinning around and walking to the portal.

“Consider thyself lucky this time that we have company, Vasily or we would not let thou off with mercy.” She glares back at me.
“Oh? Learning from Celestia about mercy now?” I struggle not to laugh as she stomps her hoof and almost spins around to face me. She takes deep breaths and closes her eyes, mumbling to herself before looking forward.

“We have done what we wanted, take care.” Luna nods to the guards and lets them walk through the portal first before stepping in.

“Your ass is small compared to your Sisters, it’s why you’re still single.” I burst out laughing as I see her movements pause and her tail whip angrily before rushing to the other side and closing the portal. Tirek and the newest prisoner shared a laugh with me which I gave them permission to do this one time. After that joyous moment I glare at Tirek again and point at him.

“Don’t think I forgot, you piece of shit!” He shrinks the corner of his cage and puts his arms up in defense, I focus on the filly named Cozy Glow. She looks up at me with those big innocent filly eyes belonging to someone who was ripping magic from Equestria.

“Hey Mr. Vasily wanna be friends?” She smiles at me with a sparkle of devious intent in her eye. Oh god she's the innocent looking but actually evil trope.

“Oh my fucking god.” I bury my face in my hands and groan.

Author's Note

Story Concept: Tartarus. That's it.

MLP Tartarus is one of the most under developed places in the show in my opinion. It literally the place you send the unredeemable to... yet in the episode that kinda explored it it showed random animals in cages as well and Tirek just in the platform by himself. So using its undeveloped nature I decided the role of a Warden for what was pretty much Equestria Alcatraz is a good concept. Better if it was another villian forced into the role of Warden to cause Chaos.

Honestly I thought this was going to be mostly Vasily bullying Tirek for majority of the story but through writing I remember School Raze and decided to go with that and improvise along the way and made this.