Little Pip continued to watch down the scope of her trusty side arm. It was clearly a trap that she was looking at. A tin of Party Time Mint-als that were resting under a box that was only being held up by a stick. She knew this was a trap; however what she didn't know was whether the trap was for her or a junked up raider. Another thing that she was wondering about was what it said about her as a pony if she couldn't tell if this trap was for her or a junkie raider, that couldn't be a good sign on the state of her affairs could it? She pushed those thoughts aside for the time being and focused on the PTM under the box. Weighing her options on how to get them. Telekinesis was a tried and true method but if she tried from here it would give away her position. If she approached the trap then she might be able to trick whoever had set it up that she was falling for it and she could get close enough to get the cotton candy flavored thinking pills and run before they could catch her. Approaching it would also have the added benefit of hopefully figuring out who set the trap.
After a few second of though she couldn't take it anymore and began moving in on the PTM tin. She kept low to the ground being sure to move from cover to cover to insure nobody could easily shot her. This was possibly the third or forth stupidest thing she'd done to get her fix but hey, who was counting. Over the course of a ten minutes she finally made it to the Party Time Mental, just right under neat the box being held up by a stick. She look around, nobody was in sight. She smiled, and decided to play around and see who actually set this trap. Clearly whoever it was was an idiot. She crawled under the box and grabbed the happy think-think pills.
"WE Have gotten THEE!" The stick was pulled out and the box fell on her. A second later Little Pip heard something heavy being placed o the top of the box.
"Ha you think a box can stop me now that I have Party Time Mint-als." Pip shook the tin box and her ears drooped a little at the empty sound. "Empty? IT'S EMPTY!"
"Thou thinkst we'd tempt thee with a full tin, when an empty one workth just as well?" Lil' Pip rubbed her head, they talked as loud as one of the goddess alicorns, but they certainly didn't sound like one.
"What the, who is this? Do I know you?"
"Thou droppst a train onto us, and now pretendeth to be ignorant when we hath captured thee. Arest thou a coward?"
"What no, it's just you really don't talk like any of the other alicorns and I can't see you. You use a lot of really old Equestrian, and the goddess and her alicorns don't really do any of that. So, now that you've caught me what are you going to do to me?"
"We shall-we don't know. Hmmm. Honestly we didst not thinketh thou to be so stupid." Lil' Pip's face fell a bit. Sure even she admitted it was dumb but even her enemies thought this was a new low for her. Ouch. "We have had an idea. We shallt deal with thee later much later. Farewell, foe, we shalt meet again soon. The box was thrown away revealing a red alicorn. The strange color gave Pip pause long enough for the strange creature to cast it's spell.
Pip blacked out, it felt like she was falling. As she opened her eyes she bolted awake. She was falling, she was falling from really high up, and the ground was quickly rising to meet her. "Luna Deep Throat Me With Her Horn!" Her horn lit up as she tried to grab herself in her telekinesis. "Celestia Fuck my Taint!" she screamed at the top of her lungs as she felt herself. Slow from her fall. "Come on, Come on. Slow down slow down!"
"Don't worry filly I'm coming!" Pip looked up as the most beautiful nose bleed-tastic pegasus she'd ever seen wrapped her forelegs around her. Her white wings flared out as Pip lost all focus on self levitation. The wind caught her perfect purple mane blowing it back revealing a small but pretty golden crown. Little Pip looked over the pegasus that was saving her, they were about the same size and there wasn't even a speck of dirt on her flawless light pink body. As they slowly descended Lil' Pip could do nothing but gawk at how beautiful her savior was. When they finally landed on the soft green grass, the pegasus wiped some sweat off her brow. "Wew! That was a close one there." Lil' Pip gazed at the pegasus not even noticing the green hills, and blue skies.
Okay Little Pip there is an absolutely drop dead beautiful pegasus in front of you with the beauty of a million Celestias. Say something smart, don't fuck this up. "Uh you're a really pretty pony." Internally she facehoofed.
"Uhm thank. You know it takes me for absolutely ever to get my mane and tail done, and don't even get me started about my hooficure. I'm glad that some ponies notice. My names Princess Pipp by the way, and while I'm interested in who you are I'm more curious as to why you were falling out of the sky. I mean I can totally understand if you were like a pegasus and fell asleep or something but yeah I've never seen and earth pony or unicorn falling from the sky. Did you use like a balloon or a catapult or something like that?"
"No I was just trying to get some Party Time Mint-als and a stupid alicorn cast a spell on my. Not sure what it did. Do you know where I-eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." Little Pip turned around and saw the green grass and trees in the distance. The bright sun in the crystal blue sky, and realized that the air was crisp and pure.
"Hello, little unicorn are you okay?" Pipp waved her hoof in front of Pip's face. "Is the whole life flashing in front of your eyes thing happening late?"
"Wh-Where are we?"
"We're somewhere between Zypher Heights and Maretime Bay. Though we're a lot close to Maretime Bay than we are to Zypher Heights." Pips heart sank a little into her stomach. She'd never heard of these places, even Calamity hadn't mentioned them, then again, such a nice place was probably just really well hidden was all, right?
"So where is that in relationship to Ponyville?" Pip asked. "I kind of fell for an Alicorn trap and they teleported me away to here, don't know why it's such a beautiful place, but I need to get back to my friends."
"Ponyville? I've never heard of that town before. Don't you unicorns come from Briddle Wood? Also who are you, and what's an ali-corn?"
"You know it's okay that you don't know, but if you could get me to you're settlements leaders I'm sure they'll know about me, and Ponyville, I mean it's all over the radio. DJ-Pon-3's talked about my exploits before. I'm sure they'd have kept tabs on the wasteland."
"Wasteland?"
"I mean we pegasi are pretty aloof but we've never heard of any wastelands." Pipp looked at her like she was talking a foreign language. "Mom's never talked about a wasteland either, and she's the Queen of the Pegasi. Hmm What radio station?"
"Here it's this one." She lifted up her pip buck to start get the radio turned on.
"Wow! Look at that thing!" Pipp grabbed it. "That's so neat!" Pip blushed a little as the adorable light pink pegasus grabbed and held her hoof.
"It's a pip buck, it's what I was named after. Right I keep forgetting my name's Little Pip." She smiled. "And this is the radio station I was talking about." She turned on her pip bucks radio station to hopefully hear DJ Pon-3 instead all she got was a bunch of static. Her heart dropped all the way into her stomach. "Maybe I just got the wrong station." She started fiddling with the knob Static gave way to music that Homage wouldn't play in a thousand years, then a report on some kind of hoof ball game, then a weather report. Clear Skies all over Equestria. "She didn't, crush my face with Luna's yeast infected taint that bitch! She threw me back in time!" Pipp's eyes widened at as Pip let fly a series of swears that would have made even her older sister's jaw drop in shock. "SHIT!" She slumped down "This is a disaster."
"What happened?" Pipp asked still a little stunned that such a little pony could have such an impressively large vocabulary of words. Pip just gave her a sad look and sighed.
"Right well when I tell you you're going to think I'm crazy. But let's just get this over with. I'm from the future, there was a red alicorn and-wait a second I'm from the future! Do you know what that means?"
"You need special medications and a fun coat?"
"No I can stop the war! It doesn't have to happen! Quickly take me to the queen, or princesses or whatever!"
"Err-well okay..." Pip nodded deciding to humor the little pony if nothing else Zipp could help figure this out after all it wasn't often that ponies fell out of the skies. "Hold on tight, and please no swearing."
Pip stiffed a squeak cheeks turning red as the beautiful pegasus gave he a hug and flew off. In an hour they were at a place that that Pip called Zephyr Heights. There were hundreds of pegasi, but this clearly wasn't the enclave or at least not the one that Calamity had told her about, as earth ponies and unicorns walked the streets too, everything was gorgeous, and Little Pip was easily the dirtiest thing in this town. Pip lead her through the streets to a large palace.
"And this is the pala-" Pipp looked around the little grey unicorn was gone. "Hello Pip where'd you go."
"Uh you're right there sis," Zipp teased flying past by.
***
"Really Pip?" Velvet asked tapping her hoof in disappointment.
"Wha-" She looked around she was laying next to an over turned box with dozens of party time mint-als all around her and a dead blue alicorn.
"Great." She sighed as Calamity looked a little concerned at her. "Calamity, get back to the sky wagon we're going back to Ten Pony."
"But the tin was empty and there was a Red Alicorn and she talked funny! She threw me into the past I swear!"
"I see you've had one trip today," Velvet said with a thin smile. "That's great because you're going on another one to, now march to the sky wagon little lady." Little Pip sighed and conceded defeat rolling over and following Calamity back to the sky wagon.
Author's Note
FYI this is absolutely cannon.
XD
