Cracking A Herd

“This feels weird,” Crashing Thunder said out loud as he felt Lost Way’s hooves fix the shoulders of the jacket around his shoulders and wings.

“The jacket?” Lost Way asked. “Too small?”

“N-No, not that,” Crash said sheepishly. “The jacket’s fine.”

The pegasus let out a long sigh. This night had approached all too quickly for the pegasus’ liking. He was getting that awful anxious feeling inside of his belly that he hadn’t felt in over a year since he quit going out on those blind dates. This routine also felt familiar with Lost Way and him picking out outfits for one another and making comments about what was too fancy or too casual for their chosen date location. Standing here in Lost Way’s room, one that was seldom used these days for anything but storage given the two more often than not shared a bed in the evening, was almost like stepping into a memory of the past.

“Going on a date again is what feels weird,” Crash said as he shook his head.

“We’ve been on plenty of dates just the two of us,” Lost Way said with a slight shrug before stepping back slightly.

“Those have been different,” Crash said with a slight frown before shaking his head. “That was with… well YOU for one. I never felt worried like this when we went on dates before. It always felt way too similar to just hanging out. I could ignore these stupid stomach turns.”

“That’s not how it seemed whenever I threw you some bedroom eyes,” Lost Way teased. “You practically melt if I do that in public~”

“Lost,” Crash said with an exasperated sigh. “I’m serious.”

“Alright, sorry,” Lost Way said before taking a step forward and lifting up his hoof. He settled it down against Crashing Thunder’s chest before craning his neck up to leave a light kiss on the left side of Crash’s muzzle. “You’re nervous. I get it. This is weird for me too, y’know.”

“I know,” Crash said softly. “Sorry… I’ve barely even asked how you feel about all of this.”

“Don’t sweat it,” Lost said. “I’m not nearly as nervous as you are. Did you even sleep that well last night? You kept tossing and turning.”

“Eventually,” Crash said. “I just have these really bad butterflies and… and I’m worried I look too much like a dork for her. I don’t know if I should comb my mane or if she’d say that looked like I was trying too hard…”

“Hey,” Lost Way said before lifting up a hoof and placing it over Crash’s muzzle. “Calm down, big guy. I’ll be next to you the whole night, okay? Nothing’s ever been that scary when it’s just the two of us together, right?”

Crash couldn’t help but glance down to his hooves. Lost wasn’t wrong. The world was always so much easier to handle with the zebra by his side even before they became an official couple.

“You’re right,” Crash said once Lost Way pulled his hoof away and allowed him to speak once more. “I just… I want her to like me. Like US.”

“You are awfully loveable,” Lost Way said. “I don’t think you got much to worry about.”

Crash couldn’t keep himself from letting out a tiny chuckle. He was both annoyed and impressed that Lost was always able to put a smile on his face despite how anxious he got.

“Now let’s hurry up,” Lost Way said. “If she knocks and we aren’t ready I get the feeling she’s the kinda girl to get pissed.”

Throwing together the rest of their outfits was easy enough. The hardest part was deciding on what Crash would wear, and the light brown jacket was casual enough while still looking somewhat sleek on his body. Lost Way on the other hoof was quick to sport himself in a white shirt with a low hanging neck to reveal his chest fur and bright pink scarf which he wrapped stylishly around his neck. A pair of shades was what really brought the look together.

“How do I look?” Lost Way asked as he lifted up the sunglasses.

“Uh… not straight?” Crash said.

“Excellent,” Lost Way replied before hiding his eyes back behind the shades. “Now that we’ve established how amazing I look, I think it shouldn’t be too long before…”

It was spooky just how on queue Lost Way was. Even before he finished speaking both stallions ears perked up at the sound of a knock coming from their front door. Crash felt his heart skip a beat as he turned around and then glanced quickly to the clock.

“It’s her,” Lost Way said. “Damn. Right on the dot.”

Crash tried to muster up what courage he had and turned around first as he led the way to the door. He hesitated for only a moment to compose himself before he worked up the courage to open it up. He stared forward, and saw the sight of Gilda standing there in his doorway. His eyes widened. She looked… so different.

“Sup, nerd?” Gilda asked.

Crashing Thunder couldn’t stop himself from staring like a doofus. Gilda was wearing a bright crimson leather jacket with a fishnet shirt underneath exposing her feathers. The feathers atop her head were slicked back with products that seemed far too meticulous for her. Her eyes were far more noticeable than usual with bright colors on the rims that Crash quickly recognized as makeup. Black eyeshadow and a crimson red lipstick that matched her jacket were covering her face. It was subtle.

“Um… hi?” Gilda asked.

It was that moment that Crash realized he hadn’t said anything. He adverted his eyes quickly and began sputtering incoherently.

“I-I’m sorry, uh… H-Hi, Gilda. You look… You look…”

“Damn,” Lost Way said before letting out a loud whistle. He had been right behind Crash on his way to the door and made an effort to push past the pegasus before hopping up to Gilda and walking around her as he looked her up and down. “You clean up real damn good!”

“Um, duh?” Gilda asked. “You two usually see me when I’m all sweaty and gross at the gym. Didja think I was gonna show up on a date looking like I normally do?”

“I didn’t expect you to be one to have a half decent taste in fashion,” Lost Way said. “Doesn’t she look awesome, Crash?”

Lost Way was clearly trying to throw the sputtering and flustered Crash a bone here.

“She looks… you look… You look really cool,” Crash said softly.

Gilda let out a snort and rolled her eyes.

“As if I don’t always look cool,” Gilda said. “But thanks. I don’t normally break out this stuff for anypony so you two are getting the DELUX Gilds tonight. Don’t make me regret it, featherbrain!”

“N-No ma’am,” Crash spat out quickly before standing up straight. “I won’t!”

Gilda chuckled. She had such an overwhelming sense of power and confidence about her that Crash couldn’t help but stare at longingly. Her look wasn’t traditionally feminine, but it was so uniquely her. The way she carried herself made it look beautiful. The pegasus felt his heart pick up pace.

“Don’t stare, Hon,” Lost Way said while looking back at Crash and rolling his eyes. “At least talk if you’re gonna gawk at her like that.”

“Lost,” Crash whined with a hiss under his breath as his cheeks turned to a sudden scarlet. He turned around and shut the door behind him as he did. He could hear both Gilda and Lost giggle at him. He shut his eyes and let out a long breath. This night was going to put him through the wringer.

“We should get going,” Lost Way said when Crash worked up the nerve to turn back around. “It’s already pretty chilly tonight, and I’m the only one here who doesn’t have feathers to keep me warm. Or a jacket, actually.”

“Whose fault is that?” Gilda asked before sniggering and turning. “Well, c’mon then boys. Mama’s ready to party!”

There was so much fire in this woman. Crash found himself following her blindly without a second thought. Once they were well past the entrance to their house the three of them fell in line with Crash walking sandwiched in the middle between Lost Way and Gilda. The light snowfall crunched under their hooves and talons as they made their way down the street.

“So glad you suggested a club,” Gilda said. “When you said date I was worried it was gonna be some hoity toity stuck up restaurant where they’d expect me to put on a gown and raise my talon while I sip wine or some crap.”

“You don’t like fancy places?” Crash asked.

“Do I look like a wine and dine kinda gal?” Gilda asked before rolling her eyes and giving a dismissive ‘psh’ sound to Crash’s question. “I mean the food’s usually rocking and all but I can’t stand the way ponies look at me when I ain’t behavin’ how they think a proper creature should.”

“I’d much rather eat at a bar and get a nice greasy hay burger, honestly,” Lost Way said. “That’s where we had our first date, right Crash?”

“Well, part of it,” Crash said before chuckling awkwardly. “You wolfed down fries like your life depended on it.”

“Heh, and you were too nervous and hardly touched your food,” Lost Way said.

“Ugh, get a room,” Gilda said. “And stop making me freaking hungry!”

“Heh, sorry,” Lost Way said. “So uh, you seemed excited about going to a club? Do you like to dance?”

“Do I like to?” Gilda asked. “Hell yeah. Does that mean I’m any good at it? Look, I’m a flier not a dancer. But if anybody said my dancing sucked I’d sock them so I don’t actually know how good I am…”

“I’ll be sure to keep my opinions to myself,” Crash said with a light smile.

“Aw, he’s learning already,” Gilda said before lifting one of her talons and giving Crash a light pinch on his cheek. His face which was already blushing must have felt warm against GIlda’s bare skin.

“C-Cut it out,” Crash said before pulling his face away. “Or I won’t get you any drinks to woo you over.”

“Ugh, lame,” Gilda said before grinning and looking over to Crash. “What’s the point of this stupid date if I can’t tease you?”

“Don’t worry, Gilda,” Lost Way said. “If you tease him I’ll buy you double the drinks.”

“I hate you,” Crash said with a long winded sigh.

Both zebra and gryphon took turns chuckling at Crash’s misfortune. After it settled down they walked silently for some time. The sky was beginning to shift from twilight to night with a few stars popping in one by one above their heads. Nopony seemed to take notice of the three dressed up creatures all heading for the sight of Canterlot’s nightclub. They were all absorbed in their own lives.

Eventually it was Gilda who broke the silence.

“So uh… this whole date thing,” Gilda said. She brought a bit more straight of a tone than she had before. “I gotta be honest… I still don’t know how I feel being your guys’ first choice and all. It’s kinda a lot of pressure, y’know?”

“I-I’m sorry,” Crash said almost instinctively to the sound of any worry slipping into Gilda’s voice. “I didn’t want you to feel weird about it.”

“Relax,” Gilda said before sighing. “I’m here, aren’t I?”

Crash bit his tongue and glanced over to Lost Way who looked back at him with a slight shrug as if to say he too wasn’t sure how to respond. Gilda grew quiet for several moments and stared down at her talons as she walked while pondering what to say next.

“You two are nice and all,” Gilda said. “But I’m not exactly great when it comes to being the third in… anything, really. One on one dates are one thing but jumping into the middle of a couple like you is… really weird, you dig? I mean if we were just hooking up for one night or something that’d be cool, but after talking to you two at the gym it made me realize how serious you two were about this whole herd thing.”

“I wasn’t trying to pressure you when I asked you,” Lost Way said. “You just seemed cool, like I told you. It’s fine if the whole herd thing is weird to you. It took me a long time to get used to the idea.”

Crash frowned slightly as he glanced back over to Lost. As another moment of silence fell he watched as his boyfriend stared at him expectantly, and then quickly realized the zebra was trying to silently tell him to hurry up and say something when he felt the jab of a hoof into his side.

“Ah!” Crash gasped as the hoof dug into his ribs. “I-I mean… Don’t take tonight so seriously, okay? If it makes you feel any better we’re just going out to dance and drink a little as friends! I seriously wouldn’t want you to make any rash decisions tonight. If you felt like we were forcing you I’m really sorry.”

“Sorry’s your favorite word, isn’t it?” Gilda asked with a coy smile and side-eyed directed at Crash. The pegasus felt his blush return.

“Um... Am I being annoying?” Crash asked.

“No, you’re just being a doofus,” Gilda said before lightly bumping her body into the side of Crash’s own. The pegasus was surprised at her strength and had to steady himself to keep himself grounded. “You’re a cute doofus, though. Both of you nerds are.”

That was enough to make Crash feel his belly flutter. He smiled to himself before looking down at his hooves. Things felt like they were going well… an experience he didn’t have often when it came to dates.

“Oh boy,” Lost Way said. “We’re here!”

Crash looked up to see the sight of the club less than half a block down the street. Already as they approached the sound of music flowing out of the doors flooded the streets. A clearly drunk pair of stallions stumbled out of the door laughing hysterically and clinging to one another.

“Club Diamond,” Lost Way said. “The best club this side of Canterlot!”

“Pfft, I’ll be the judge of that,” Gilda said before striding forward ahead of the two boys. She paused briefly and nodded her head to the door. “C’mon, let’s cause some chaos!”

———————————————————————————————————

Inside of the club was like night and day to the world outside. The noises and lights that had managed to creep out the door out front were only a glimmer of the absolute auditory overstimulation that was inside. A rainbow of lights shined overhead and so many of the ponies were dancing that the ground itself seemed to shake. A DJ atop the stage roared to get the crowd's attention, to which the crowd itself cheered back.

Lost Way smiled to himself as he made his way through the club with a drink in hoof. A peachy flavor lingered on his tongue as he took a sip. He felt right at home here with the over abundance of energy and loud, booming tunes. Before he and Crash had become an item he used to frequent places like this on the regular. Unfortunately for him, Crash was much less interested in the loud and eventful night life. It had been months since the two of them had last gone out of their way to have a night quite like this one.

Lost Way moved through the crowd before eventually spotting the small circular booth the trio had been able to snag. Both Crashing Thunder and Gilda were sitting at the table chatting it up. Judging by the smile lingering on Crash’s face as he listened to Gilda speak he seemed to be getting along just fine.

“You sharing all your fun stories without me?” Lost Way asked as he slipped into the booth once more.

“You know it,” Gilda said as she swirled her talon around an empty shot glass she had downed the vodka inside of not long ago.

“Gilda was just telling me about the time she fell asleep on a cloud not realizing it was scheduled to drift into a storm,” Crash said before chuckling.

“Hey, don’t laugh at my misery!” Gilda snapped playfully before using her wing to bat Crash on the foreleg. “You try waking up from thunder right next to your ear and tell me you don’t wet yourself!”

“You wet yourself?” Lost Way asked.

“I-I didn’t say…!” Gilda turned her attention to Lost with a glare. Both Crash and Lost started giggling, and eventually Gilda groaned and rolled her eyes. “Ugh, I thought you and I were supposed to be teasing CRASH, dummy!”

“I can multitask,” Lost Way said with a playful shrug.

“Whatever,” Gilda said before shrugging. “I still can’t believe you two drug me to a gay bar for a DATE.”

“Hey, don’t you act like any straight bar is as cool as this one,” Lost Way said. “I mean, did you see the drag queen on stage awhile back do a death drop?”

“Holy crap I thought I was hallucinating that,” Gilda said. “I thought she broke her damn hoof when she fell.”

“Heh, Lost Way usually loses his cool when they do something crazy like that,” Crashing Thunder said before giggling. “Normally he’s squealing like a filly when they go wild.”

“Hey, I’m trying to look cool in front of our date,” Lost Way said before nodding over to Gilda. “Besides… give me time to get a few drinks in and then I’ll scream at the drag queens.”

“Speaking of cool,” Gilda said before turning her attention towards Crash. “Are you just gonna sit huddled up here all night in this booth? You haven’t even gotten a second drink!”

“I-I uh…” Crash was clearly taken aback now that the focus had managed to drift back to him. For a moment Lost and him locked eyes, and all the zebra could do was give his boyfriend an encouraging smile. “I-I’m not used to this kinda place, really. This is way more Lost’s scene…”

“Then why the heck did you bring me here?” Gilda asked before smirking.

“Cause… Cause I thought you’d like it,” Crash said before glancing down into his empty drink cup. “Sorry, was that a dumb reason?”

“Gosh, you’re damn cute,” Gilda said.

Lost watched Crash’s eyes widen and found himself smiling just as wide as Gilda did. This seemed to be going so well so far. He felt a sense of calm rest itself in his belly that he hadn’t realized was even there. He felt in that moment he had made a good pick.

“Well, I won’t pressure you to jump out of your shell all at once,” Gilda said with a long winded and over dramatic sigh. “But do I at least get to have one dance with you tonight?”

“Oh, um…” Crash looked taken aback. “S-Sure…”

“Good,” Gilda said before grabbing Crash by his hoof and giving it a violent tug. “Cause this song kicks ass!”

“A-Ah, hey!” Crash called out suddenly as he was yanked from the booth. “Hold it, hold it, lemme put down my drink! Ah!”

Lost giggled to himself as he watched Crash get drug off. Gilda was so forceful in a way that Crash really needed to get out of his shell. Lost Way could recall countless times he had pushed Crash to do the same during their friendship.

The sound of music began to grow louder as the song Gilda was so eager to dance to kicked into beat. The floor seemed to rumble as the lights went wild. Lost Way sipped on his drink as he scanned the crowd for the sight of the two creatures. Both Crashing Thunder and Gilda were taller than most of the other ponies in the crowd, so it was easy to spot them.

Gilda was really going wild. She moved from side to side without a care in the world for ponies who might be in her way. Lost giggled to himself as he watched ponies move in waves to clear room for her as she spun around. She had a rhythm all her own that while wasn’t perfect was admirable to watch. She really let the music flow through her.

Crash wasn’t as eccentric as Gilda by a long shot. Half the time he seemed to just be staring at and admiring Gilda over anything else. He swayed from side to side and moved his hooves a little, but it was clear that he was moving to his own contained beat. Still, it was clear the two were together. Gilda would grab Crash by the hooves and pull him close before pulling away. Crash had no choice but to follow her movements if he hoped to keep up. Gilda was clearly leading the charge.

The song continued to build and build in energy the two continued to move faster. Crash clearly was getting more lost in the moment as he too began to match Gilda’s sheer speed and intensity. Briefly Lost saw Gilda come close to Crash and whisper something into his ear. Crash’s eyes widened in confusion before Gilda hopped back.

Suddenly Gilda charged and then jumped. Crash seemed to let out a cry of terror before lifting up his hooves and grabbing her by the midsection as she flew above his head. She used her wings to steady herself in the air before fluttering back down with Crash still holding onto her. His eyes were squeezed shut in clear terror before she landed back on her hind legs. Several of the nearby ponies began to cheer at the sight of it all. Crash opened his eyes and realized Gilda was safely on the ground once more in front of him. He began to laugh with a look of relief on his face.

“Show off,” Lost Way chuckled under his breath before taking another big sip of his drink.

Then something happened that threw the zebra off guard. While Crash was still laughing at what had just happened Gilda took his face in both her talons. Without warning she dove down and kissed him. Her beak pressed up to his muzzle. It looked forceful and powerful all at once. Lost Way nearly choked on his drink he was so shocked by her forwardness. He coughed as he set his glass down and struggled to pay attention as he fought for air to return to his lungs.

With the music so loud and the two being so far away it was impossible for Lost Way to figure out what happened next. Suddenly Crash lifted up his forelegs and shoved Gilda away. There was a look of panic in his eyes and a look of confusion and frustration in Gilda’s. Crash stammered something, and Gilda clearly yelled something back. Before Lost Way could even fully process what he was witnessing he saw his boyfriend shout something in a panic before turning tail and charging into the crowd away from both Gilda and even Lost Way.

“Shit,” Lost Way said as he hurried to scramble out of his seat. He took off jogging to the dance floor and quickly lost sight of his lover once he was lost in the crowded sea of creatures. He grunted and shoved to get to the last location he saw both Crash and Gilda before eventually managing to catch sight of the gryphon who was simply standing there in the middle of the dance floor still as a statue. She was staring down and biting her beak. She looked concerned and frustrated and angry all at once.

“What the hell just happened?” Lost Way had to shout to be heard about both the music and the crowd.

“How the hell should I know?” Gilda asked. “Your boyfriend just freaking shoved me and I… I just…”

Gilda averted her eyes away from Lost Way. For a split second the zebra thought he saw some semblance of guilt or regret in her eyes. Part of him wanted to stop and comfort her, but his heart ached too badly for the stallion he loved.

“Go back to the table,” Lost Way said. “I’ll be right back, I promise… I-I’ll find him!”

“Let me help!” Gilda said.

“No!” Lost Way said. It came out a bit more forceful than he intended. “He’s… He’s probably gonna be too embarrassed to see you right now! Let me talk him down!”

It looked like Gilda was about to object once more; however Lost Way didn’t have time to stay here. He was worried about Crash. He shook his head and dove back into the crowd in the direction he saw Crashing Thunder run.

“Dammit, Crash,” Lost hissed to himself. “Where did you go?”

Lost Way felt his once calm and collected demeanor start to slip away as worry flooded his system. The night had been going so well. A pit began to form in Lost Way’s belly as he shoved his way through the dancing ponies who didn’t know nor care at all about the zebra’s problems.

Eventually Lost Way made some headway out of the crowd. He was at the very back of the club and panting as he looked around. Even in the dark like this he should be able to see Crash given the pegasus’ height, but he saw nothing. The zebra bit his lip and whined to himself before eventually spotting a doorway with the words EXIT labeled overhead.

Crash would want to be alone after a freakout like that. It only made sense for him to leave the club entirely in hopes of finding some solitude. Lost Way made his way for the exit door and pushed his way out into the chilly night. A gust of air hit him with the stinging strength of a whip.

“Gaaah, dammit,” Lost Way hissed as he shuddered. “You better be out here, you moron.”

Lost Way looked up and down and realized that he was standing in an alleyway. The smell of garbage and old booze was lingering in the air. It was probably the most unpleasant place one could be unless they truly were desperate to be alone.

It didn’t take Lost Way long to confirm his suspicions. He had hardly made it far enough outside of the club for the door to shut behind him before he heard the sound of Crashing Thunder’s voice.

“Stupid, stupid, stupid…”

A low muttering repeating itself again and again came from the other side of a nearby dumpster. Lost Way bit his tongue as he gingerly walked around it. He eventually spotted the sight of the pony he loved sitting in the snow with his wings wrapped around his body muttering to himself how stupid he was. Each time he spoke he dug the pointy end of his hoof into his forehead as if to punish himself.

“Crash?” Lost asked as gently as he possibly could.

As expected Crash hadn’t sensed Lost at all. The sound of the zebra’s voice caused the pegasus to gasp and look up. Lost realized that Crash had been crying by the streaks of damp fur going down his cheeks and his puffy eyes. There was fear in his eyes that only faded upon realizing who was standing there wasn’t Gilda nor some other pony, but Lost Way.

“L-Lost,” Crash managed to choke out before lowering his head. His blonde bangs covered his eyes before he used his hooves to bury his face and hide the rest of himself. The tenseness in his body was visible.

“Hey,” Lost Way said as he drew closer to Crash. For a moment he forgot about the elements and crouched down in front of Crash in the snow. He lifted his hooves and forced his forelegs into the cocoon of wings Crash had made for himself to try and give the big pegasus a hug the best he could. “You okay?”

“No,” Crash said. “I… I messed up. I messed up so bad, Lost.”

It was clear that Crash was either having or on the verge of a panic attack. Lost Way felt his chest ache. He had seen this sort of behavior from Crash so many times in the past but it never got easier to handle.

“I saw what happened,” Lost Way said. “Gilda’s not mad, I think. She’s just really confused.”

“She should be mad,” Crash said sourly as his body shuddered while fighting off tears. “I’m so freaking stupid, Lost.”

“Stop saying that,” Lost Way said before lifting his hoof and trying to graze it against Crash’s cheek. “Do you wanna tell me what happened there?”

Crash was silent for some time. For a while all there was to hear was the whipping winds and the sound of Crash sniffling. Lost Way waited patiently.

“Things were going well,” Crash said in a bitter tone. “Before I screwed it up I…”

“Stop that,” Lost Way said. “Just tell me what happened and stop beating yourself up.”

Crash finally uncovered his face from his hooves a tiny bit and looked to Lost. His eyes were still puffy. Eventually he gave a slight nod of his head.

“When we were d-dancing,” Crash said while fighting off the urge to stutter his words. “Everything felt good. I was worried cause all the ponies were looking at us at first but the more we danced the more I just kinda got lost in her... Everything felt right. Then when she kissed me like that I just…”

“Panicked?” Lost Way asked. “It was pretty fast for a kiss like that. I’m not surprised it made you panic.”

Crash bit his lip and gave a slight shake of his head.

“Lost… What if I’m no good for being in a herd?”

“What?” Lost Way asked as confusion seeped into his voice. “What the heck are you talking about?”

“I wasn’t scared cause things were going so fast when she kissed me,” Crash said. “I… When she did that it scared me cause of how good it felt. Then all of a sudden all I could think of was you, and how much I loved you. I… I haven’t been honest with you, or myself…”

“Crash,” Lost Way said softly as he reached up his hoof and ran it over Crash’s cheek.

“What if I don’t do it right?” Crash asked. “I got so used to just the two of us that I almost stopped thinking of how bad I always wanted a herd! What if one of us gets jealous? What if I start feeling like I’m betraying us just cause I start to fall for Gilda too? What if… What if I don’t have enough love to give to more than one pony and everything falls apart cause of it? I don’t… I don’t want to hurt anypony. You or Gilda or anypony else!”

Crash looked like he was close to start weeping again. The way these worries poured out of him like a dam that had just been shattered by a raging current told Lost Way everything he needed to know. These thoughts hadn’t sprung up from nowhere. They had been bubbling and building for days. A pit of worry began to form in Lost Way’s belly as he wondered to himself if he had been too sudden.

“I’m sorry,” Lost Way said. “I’m really sorry.”

“What the h-heck are you sorry for?” Crash asked while wiping one of his eyes with the back of his hoof.

“I shouldn’t have jumped the gun on us going out with Gilda so fast,” Lost Way said before reaching down and grabbing the hoof Crash wiped his eye with. “I should have just told you I was ready to move onto the next step and let you process it from there. I-I just thought you’d be eager to get a herd started and wouldn’t want to wait so I just asked the first creature I thought you’d like. I really dumped her on you out of nowhere, huh?”

“Please don’t blame yourself,” Crash said before tugging Lost’s hoof closer to his chest. He grabbed it with both of his own hooves and squeezed.

“How can I not when you’re putting everything on yourself?” Lost Way asked. “I love you, Crash. Seeing you hurt like this is… it’s painful.”

Crash bit his lip right before it looked like it was about to start quivering. Before Lost Way knew it the pegasus extended both of his forelegs at once and tugged Lost Way forward until the zebra was forced to stumble into his embrace. Wings wrapped around Lost Way’s body as well as hooves. The tight squeeze from Crash was nearly back-breakingly strong but the zebra didn’t dare tell him to lighten up.

“Did I hurt her?” Crash asked eventually with lingering fear in his tone. “If somepony did that to me after I kissed them I don’t know what I’d do.”

“I don’t know,” Lost Way said honestly. After that Crash’s impossibly tight hug seemed to get even tighter. “But Crash… You know you care about other creatures more than anypony I’ve ever met?”

Crash remained silent and simply kept squeezing Lost Way.

“I think if you really didn’t have enough love to give then you wouldn’t be out here crying cause you’re scared of hurting one of us,” Lost Way continued. “I wish you told me that you were so worried about all of this.”

“I’m sorry,” Crash said softly.

“Don’t be,” Lost Way said. “We both made some mistakes… We should feel sorry for ourselves later, though.”

“You’re right,” Crash said before finally beginning to loosen the grip on his forelegs and give Lost Way some much needed breathing space. “I need to talk to her. The way she looked at me when I pulled back… I’ve never seen her look hurt like that.”

There was sorrow in Crash’s voice along with regret.

“I’ll be there with you,” Lost Way said. “You don’t have to do it alone.”

“I know,” Crash said before leaning down and pressing his lips up against Lost Way’s forehead. “Thank you, Lost.

————————————————-

Gilda let out a long sigh and watched as the frigid air turned her breath to mist. She tugged the ends of her jacket closer together as she shifted uncomfortably on the bench. The booming noise that shook the walls of the nightclub behind her were like a constant reminder of what she was running from. Part of her wished she had the balls to simply ditch and pretend like this night had never happened. The only problem was she *really* liked that gym. Oh yeah, and her conscience or something did sort of feel bad for Crash.

“Stupid,” Gilda grumbled to herself before reaching inside of her jacket and pulling out a flask. She always kept one on her when she went to bars to avoid having to deal with the outrageously jacked up prices. She took a sip of the whiskey inside and felt it burn as it went down her throat. It was just about the only thing to keep her warm right now. The jacket was mostly for style and the fishnet shirt underneath wasn’t exactly warm and cozy.

“You never learn, do you Gilds?” Gilda asked herself aloud as she squeezed the metal flask between her talons.

Gilda kept telling herself that she should have listened to her gut. She was wary of tonight from the moment she first heard of it. Getting in between two ponies who were already an item was the last thing she should be doing. She was stupid to convince herself that things would be different this time, and she wouldn’t be sitting here feeling exactly like she did this moment. She hadn’t changed at all. She was still a jealous, featherbrained gryphon who couldn’t stand the sight of somepony she liked with another.

Gilda clamped her beak shut. She was angry. Angry at Lost Way for asking her out, angry at Crash for running away when she kissed him, and most of all angry with herself for letting herself get dragged into this mess.

Gilda kept repeating the moment over and over in her head. The way she yelled at Crash when he broke from her kiss. She had let her frustration take hold of her and truly didn’t care about the apology he was trying to sputter out. She had just been mad. She let him run off even after seeing the guilt and fear in his eyes at what he had done. She stood there frozen like some stupid statue unable to move.

Why didn’t she run after him?

Why did Lost Way have to be the one to go find him after it had been her screw-up?

Why was she even still here after ruining everything?

“Gaaaah!” Gilda let out a sudden loud scream of anger and frustration before digging her talons into either side of her head and viciously tugging at her feathers. “Why am I so freaking bad at this?”

This sucked. The first two creatures she met and managed to befriend in this stupid town who weren’t so far up their own ass they could taste yesterday’s lunch and she managed to blow it the first time they actually hung out.

Tonight was supposed to be fun. She wasn’t supposed to let the old Gilda come out. The Gilda who cost her friendship with Rainbow Dash. She thought she had stamped out that Gilda a long time ago.

“Gilda!”

The sound of Crashing Thunder’s voice made Gilda’s feathers stand on end and her chest instantly tighten. She looked over her shoulder to see both Crash and Lost Way were running toward her with worried expressions on their faces.

What was she supposed to say? Sup? What’s going on? What the hell happened back there? I’m sorry? Get Lost? Every one of those options crossed her mind to the point she could only remain silent when the two finally did catch up to her.

“We looked… everywhere…” Lost Way said in a slow and panting tone. It seemed like he had to run to keep up with Crash’s much longer legs.

“Sorry about that,” Gilda said. “The music was kinda giving me a headache.”

“No, no, it’s fine,” Crash said. His voice was quick and concerned. “Are you… I-I mean… Are you okay?”

Gilda felt her jaw clench. Seriously? Wasn’t that supposed to be her line?

“Fine,” Gilda said. It was short and to the point. She looked away and at the snow-covered ground with a pained look resting on her face.

“Seriously,” Lost Way said before taking a step forward. “Talk to us Gilda, please.”

“Look, just… back off, both of you,” Gilda said before shaking her head and letting out a frustrated groan. She turned away and felt very tempted in that moment to simply spread her wings and fly. Somehow she managed to keep herself grounded. “I really feel like hitting somepony and I don’t want it to be either one of you guys, okay?”

“Gilda…” Lost Way said softly.

“Gilda, that kiss,” Crash tried to speak.

“I get it, okay?” Gilda snapped. “I was getting in the middle of you two and messing everything up so you freaked. It’s my own stupid fault for making a move like that in the first place!”

“Please, Gilda,” Crash spoke. He walked up until he was beside Gilda. The gryphon turned her head to the opposite direction and felt her talons sink into the snow. She really wanted to punch something. “You can be pissed at me if you want, that’s fine. I panicked and let myself freak out. I was really having fun and enjoying spending time with you. Both of us were. I-I just…”

“Three’s a crowd, right?” Gilda asked.

“That’s not it,” Crash continued.

“Look,” Gilda said as she interrupted Crash. “I’ve been on this shitty ride before. All I do is get jealous and I blow up at people and end up hurting others! I got so goddamn angry at Lost and I don’t even know why!”

“With me?” Lost Way asked with a shocked tone of voice. “What did I do?”

“Nothing!” Gilda shouted before turning back around. “Neither of you DID anything wrong but I still got so freaking angry at both of you! I lost my temper like I always do and… argh!”

Gilda hit her balled up fist down into the ground and violently shook her head.

“I couldn’t even freaking go see Crash myself to see if he was okay because I knew all I’d do is yell at you cause I was so pissed!” Gilda snapped. “I’m still angry as hell! Wh-Why the hell couldn’t I just fix my own damn mistake? Why did Lost have to do it for me? ARUGH!”

Gilda knew she was starting to cause a scene. When she finally looked up both boys and several of the crowd outside the bar were all staring at her. She hung her head and took in deep slow exhausted breaths.

“I’m not good at this thing,” Gilda said. “You picked the wrong gal. I couldn’t even make it through one stupid date without blowing everything up…”

Gilda shut her eyes. After yelling her feelings she was starting to feel herself cool down. The chilly breeze made her shudder. She shook her head slowly, and knew deep down she had made herself look like a fool.

“Gilda,” Lost Way was the one to speak first. Gilda heard the snow crunch and knew that the zebra was walking towards her again. “Did I ever tell you how my first date with Crash went?”

“What?” Gilda asked before raising her head and looking at Lost in confusion. “The hell does that got to…”

The gryphon trailed off.

“No,” She said.

“Well, it was pretty bad at the start,” Lost Way said. “We were both on a blind date and ended up being paired with each other. We fought for most of the dinner. Eventually I got so overwhelmed that I started just bawling in the middle of the restaurant. When it was happening I remember I was really, really angry at Crash too. Angry enough to cry over us fighting like that.”

Gilda stared at Lost Way. She wasn’t sure why but she struggled to picture him crying. It must have been pretty emotional for him to bawl in public.

“We finally stopped fighting when I did that,” Lost Way said. “He hugged me and we started to seriously talk with each other, and not at each other. I think we were both really scared at losing what we had back then. After that it somehow led to being one of the best nights in my entire life.”

Gilda looked over to Crash who looked embarrassed at being talked about, but determined to keep his eyes on Gilda.

“What’s your point?” Gilda asked.

Lost Way let out a brief sigh.

“The point is,” The zebra said. “Sometimes our emotions make us do stupid things. Like when Crash ran off, and when you got angry at both of us, and back when me and him fought on our first date. Do you really want to call this off? If you do we won’t stop you.”

“I…” Gilda started and then found herself growing quiet. She looked from Crashing Thunder to Lost Way and then back again. Her insides were turning. Aw, dammit, she hated all this anxiety crap. She was starting to miss when she just wanted to punch something.

“Gilda,” Crash said as he finally spoke up. “I don’t think we picked the wrong gal.”

Crash’s cheeks flared up with blush as soon as he said that before looking away. Gilda hated that she started to feel a bit mushy at that comment. It was one of the sweetest things she had heard.

“Dammit,” Gilda said before letting out a long groan. “You two are so… so freaking weird!”

Both zebra and pegasus looked at Gilda with confusion.

“What’s with you two?” Gilda asked. “I should seriously sock both of you for getting all melodramatic on me. Y-You can’t just say stuff like ‘I don’t think we picked the wrong gal’ with a straight face and expect me to not puke my freaking guts out! I-I mean… Argh!”

Gilda knew she was blushing now. She covered her face with her talon and bit down on her tongue hard enough for it to sting. She couldn’t remember the last time anypony had seriously made her blush like this.

“Um… Is she mad?” Crash asked.

“I have no idea,” Lost Way said.

“Ugh, fine,” Gilda said as she uncovered her face and glared at the two of them. “I’ve never been a freaking quitter. I guess if you two are featherbrained enough to wanna keep trying to make this stupid thing work then… then I can keep trying too.”

“Really?” Crash asked before stepping forward. There was a glimmer in his eye. He looked… happy.

“Do I look like I’m joking?” Gilda asked.

Before Gilda knew it Crash moved forward and wrapped his arms around Gilda’s body. The gryphon let out a squawk-like sound as she was squeezed. Her whole body tensed up. She really, REALLY wasn’t used to hugs.

“I’m so sorry I made you stress like this,” Crash said into Gilda’s ear softly. “The last thing I ever wanna do is hurt you or Lost.”

Gilda hated that her body loosened up a bit at those words. Why the hell was she feeling so damn mushy?

“So, uh,” Lost Way spoke up from behind the two hugging, which caused Crash to release Gilda and for both to turn to look at him.

“Do we wanna try to figure out where we go from here?” Lost Way asked.