Cracking A Herd

Crashing Thunder stared forward into the empty, unused fireplace that sat in front of his couch. It had been a few months since there was any need to burn logs in the thing now that summer was well underway and the scorching heat outside was enough to make even the thought of hauling in logs unbearable, much less burning them. Still, Crash couldn’t help but wish in the back of his mind for the warmth and comfort of a roaring fire on a cool winter's day.

The last time it had been cold enough to justify using the fireplace he had curled up on the soft rug with both Lost Way and Gilda in a makeshift nest of blankets and pillows. Just remembering that made Crash smile softly.

“Are we seriously out of hay bacon?” Gilda grumbled from the kitchen.

“What, really?” Lost Way asked with a groan. “Uuughhh, dammit.”

“What kinda lousy garden club doesn’t have bacon?” Gilda grumbled under her breath. “This lunch sucks now.”

“You guys need something?” Crash asked. It was his day off, and he was starting to feel restless with nothing to do. Both Gilda and Lost Way had insisted they prepare food for lunch though it took them at least twenty minutes of rifling through the contents of their kitchen to find anything able to be salvaged into what could be considered a meal. They had all been avoiding the store since the heat was getting to be near unbearable at peak hours of the day.

“Yeah, uh… everything, really,” Lost Way said as he gazed into their fridge that had been robbed of nearly everything except condiments and a few shreds of greens. “Jeez, this heat though.”

“I’ll be fine,” Crash said. “I don’t like sitting around feeling useless anyway. Plus I can probably guilt trip you two into making what I want when I’m back.”

“If you go out into that heat to get us food I’ll give you the ride of your damn life,” Gilda replied with a groan before shutting a nearby cabinet. “Oh yeah, we’re low on coffee too. Man, things didn’t run out this fast back when I was on my own.”

“Yeah, but you wouldn’t want it any other way,” Lost Way said with a hint of a tease before moving over to Gilda and giving her a playful hug on her side. He seemed to be intentionally clinging to her despite the heat. “You loooove us, don’t you?”

“Jeez, no being cuddly when the sun’s up,” Gilda whined. “Okay okay fine you’re right, now get off me before I need another shower!”

Crash chuckled as he wandered around the breakfast counter and Gilda let out a groan as she squirmed still trying to get Lost Way to unlatch himself off of her.

“Ugh, don’t tell me you want a hug too now?” Gilda asked, sounding miserable.

“No, just a kiss,” Crash chuckled as he leaned forward and gave Gilda a quick peck on her beak.

“What about me?” Lost Way asked, and feigned puppy dog eyes at Crash.

“I dunno, maybe if you stop making our girlfriend so miserable,” Crash said.

“Ugh, fine,” Lost Way whined before unlatching his arms from around Gilda. He then went up to Crash and gave him a firm kiss on his lips as well as a quick hug around his neck. “Hurry back.”

“So I don’t die from heatstroke?” Crash asked.

“No, so we can eat,” Lost Way said sarcastically. “You can die at the door when you’re back for all I care as long as you bring food.”

“Heh, jerk,” Crash giggled before giving his boyfriend’s ear a quick flick with his hoof.

Crash smiled to himself as he went for the door, but much to his surprise the moment he tried to open it there was a knock on the other side. It startled all three of them and made Crash jump a little.

“Woah,” Gilda commented. “Spooky.”

“Who the heck is that?” Crash asked under his breath before going up to the peephole and gazing out. His eye widened a bit. “Um… It’s a dragon.”

“What?” Lost Way asked before moving over to a nearby window.

Right outside of their door was a small purple dragon still fluttering his wings as he hovered in place. Crash recognized it instantly as Spike, Princess Twilight’s faithful assistant. He looked like he was clutching a scroll of some kind in his hands. He was fiddling with his hands along it looking a bit bored before Crash pulled back from the peephole and pulled the door open. When the door cracked Spike jumped to attention and put a smile on his face.

“Greetings!” Spike said with a cheery wave. “Oh, um, this is Crashing Thunder’s place, right? The royal guard?”

Though Crash had seen Spike before he had never actually spoken with the dragon personally. He seemed kind enough.

“Yes,” Crash said with a nod of his head. “I’m Crashing Thunder.”

“Oh, good, I got it right,” Spike said, and looked a little proud of himself to boot. “Oh, right, I’m here on orders from Princess Twilight. She wanted me to give this to yo— Wait, what? Gilda?”

“Spike?”

From over his shoulder, Spike and Gilda met eyes. There was an instant look of recognition on both of them that they clearly knew each other.

“You know him?” Crash asked.

“Course I know him!” Gilda said. “I told you that the gryphon who started training with you guards awhile back was a kid I knew back with the other gryphons!”

“We actually uh, met a little before that,” Spike said, though he was keeping his voice down so as not to be heard directly. “You were kind of…”

“Hey, zip it!” Gilda snapped, and Spike jumped a bit. Gilda instantly looked both annoyed and worried over her words as she groaned. “I mean… Please don’t bring that up. It’s embarrassing. Sorry.”

Spike seemed a little surprised that Gilda actually apologized. He nodded his head a bit and put on another warm smile.

“It’s fine,” Spike said.

“Um, that scroll?” Lost Way chimed in, and pointed toward Spike’s chest.

“Right, right, the scroll!” Spike said as he shook his head and blushed a little over clearly having forgotten why he was here at all. “Right, lemme just uh, read it to you.”

Spike unfurled the piece of parchment with his hands and gave a cough to clear his throat before reading the words.

“Princess Twilight is hereby requesting the aid of Royal Guard Crashing Thunder for aid in her recent travels to the dragon kingdom. He is asked for the help of transporting goods on a journey that could take a few days. Should he accept he will receive an ample bonus of bits to his regular pay as well as Princess Twilight’s eternal gratitude.”

Crash could feel his eyes widening as the letter was read out loud. Princess Twilight had sought him out specifically for a personal matter. Even if it was just official business this all felt a bit strange.

“Me?” Crash asked.

“Mhm!” Spike said with a nod. “Twi talked to the guard captains and they all said you were one of the most reliable when it came to your transportation job. Plus since it’s a long journey they’ll need somepony with stamina to keep up.”

“Oh, wow,” Crash said. “I uh… I don’t know what to say.”

“Say yes, dummy!” Lost Way said. He ran up to Crash’s side and hugged him. “Dude, the Princess herself wants you for a job! That’s awesome!”

“I-I can’t just leave you guys for a few days,” Crash said.

“We’re adults, Crash,” Gilda said. “Not dogs who need to be walked.”

“The dragon kingdom, though?” Crash asked. “I’ve never been there. What if I… I dunno, offend them or something?”

“Um,” Spike spoke up, and suddenly all eyes turned to him. “The dragons are a lot more calm these days ever since they started sending dragons to Twilight’s friendship school. They’re trying hard to be less aggressive. As long as you don’t do anything intentionally to upset them they’re pretty kind once you get to know them.”

“See, even the errand boy wants you to go!” Gilda said.

“I’m an assistant…” Spike said softly.

“Well, I mean…” Crash looked from Lost Way to Gilda. He had always been so comfortable in his career that he had never thought of being given a chance like this to promote himself. He was happy doing a good job and living peacefully during his offtime with Lost Way and Gilda. Most of his ambitions lay in his desire to start a herd and expand his love to others, and he was already well underway in that.

Still, he supposed he wouldn’t be a very good member of the herd if he just ignored their advice so easily. He shut his eyes and tried his best to calm the part of him that was nervous, and thought hard about how excited Gilda and Lost had been for him just moments ago.

“Okay,” Crash said as he opened his eyes again. “I… I’ll do it! Yeah! I can totally do this!”

“Attaboy,” Lost Way said before giggling and going up to Crash to give him a quick peck on his cheek.

“Awesome!” Spike said. “So, should I give Princess Twilight the yes?”

“Mhm,” Crash said and nodded his head. “When do we leave?”

“Three days!” Spike said, and lifted up three of his claws to Crash. “I’ll tell her you said yes and you’ll be expected at the castle bright and early in three days time!”

Spike left moments later to go inform the princess, and it was only after the three of them were alone together again did Crash feel like he could truly breathe properly once more.

“Wow,” Crash said softly.

“Look at you, big hotshot in the guards escorting the princess herself!” Gilda said as she nudged Crash’s elbow.

“It feels a little surreal,” Crash said with a chuckle.

“Alright, that’s it,” Lost Way said. “You’ll probably be too scatterbrained with all this new info to remember everything at the store, so I guess I’m going.”

“Y-You don’t have to…” Crash started, but Lost Way held up his hoof and pressed it to Crash’s lips.

“Hon, just relax,” Lost Way said. “Take a sec to process it all, it’s cool. Let’s have a big meal tonight to celebrate, huh?”

Crash put on a little smile. Suddenly the nerves he felt before seemed to be entirely gone. The encouragement from his lovers meant the world to him right now. This was going to be exciting, even if it was just a job.

Looks like he’d have to prepare himself for a stay in the dragon kingdom.