“I still have business to maintain against other... beliefs, and I can’t exactly let you go freely either, bad for business and all, so how about this, a contract? To either guarantee something beyond death or something… negotiable.”

Oh, friends of mine, it is I! The Devil himself, Toby Morningstar, CEO of Headquarters for Exiled Lunatics and Lossers Inc. (H.E.L.L. Inc.) Some interdimensional beings view me as a less-than-ideal lunatic who should never be trusted and is always a big meanie.

Granted there is some truth in that, and after all, when your competitions have stairways leading upwards or straight ahead, the assumption with staircases will always be better than those that go down under, but I’ve got a business, and talking business, my door is always open to anyone and everyone, old or new, so how about an offer? A contract perhaps? One that you simply have to read and provide a negotiable deal, perhaps your heart? The soul? Or maybe even your sanity, everything is up for the offer, and if you so wish, sign with your blood or, for the lucky unlucky, forfeit.

Truth be told, I'm not supposed to tell you this by-law of a multidimensional contract signed by my competitors and me, but it's your choice, it just so happens that it's usually better for business if you play into my side.

I would have considered this as one of my first Crack-fic’s so you know... Deal with it.

Mild tags here and there, it will probably involve some otherworldly beings, and yeah, I probably forgot something, and... um...
please don't do anything that will upset anyone. As I said, this is just to screw around, nothing more nothing less. (Crossovers with other characters will happen, just keep an eye out.)

I have a bad feeling about this, later!