"Single pegasus mare, ex-model, self-identifies as butter, seeks partner who self-identifies as toast."

Not my idea, alas; I thank the person (who wishes to remain nameless) who fed me this idea. I hope I did it justice.

Not quite porn, but certainly not clean.

Pre-reads by Samey90, Majin Syeekoh, Raleigh, and Graymane Shadow. Thanks!

From the pre-readers:

Goddamnit.
—Raleigh

Don't tell the Hague what I just read.
—Majin Syeekoh