If You Could Do Anything
Day 0- That Sinking feeling
Load Full StoryI still can't wrap my head around it all, I was fine maybe not in top physical shape but I certainly wasn't being affected by any actual life-threatening disease or problem. I mean my daily struggle was just ADHD, dreaming too big, and being stupid. And yet here I was, after thrashing around with my newfound body which apparently the locals didn't take to their liking. I was restrained by a couple of officers and put into a hospital with doctors wondering what the hell was wrong with me. They brought me to the hospital because I was injured and "a threat to others". Now I'm not saying it's uncalled for but flailing and grabbing the nearest blunt object to defend myself from weird pony creatures is completely valid of self-protection in my view.
I wasn't awake for most of the process of going through my injuries or even beforehand of looking at them because I didn't even notice it but the doctors said it should be fine. I won't lie, I was scared shitless with everything going around but the anesthetics helped mellow me out for all this.
Nurse Red Heart- my nurse, was the most frequent of their checkups on me, don't know why but I found her bearable as much as I could when I'm dealing with a life crisis. Speaking of life crisis-
"We just want to understand what's really going on" I was laying on the hospital bed, let me rephrase that- I was restrained by ~~hand~~- hoof cuffs that tug onto the bed frame if I tried to move further than 3 inches. Said pony speaking was an officer, yellow hair adorned with an officer hat and a white coat. Not overall constraining but pretty ridiculous, even more so since I just basically have long tree trunks for hands.
I was looking up in the ceiling during this whole talk of the ordeal, going back and forth with the nurse and said officer which was both mares but that really didn't matter at the moment.
I moved my eyes to both of them, standing on four legs they kept eye contact with me, they were currently residing at the end of my bed.
"Listen, I told you the same thing before and I'll say it again: I was lost in the forest and I don't remember what happened before or after aside from waking up in the hospital bed okay?" I tried to move my hooves up from their place of comfort on the blanket but only got to the spoken length before then I was reminded of the chain's presence.
I must've shown my disappointment with a frown because they both saw my face and looked at each other with crestfallen looks of pity.
The white mare with light red hair and a nurse's hat: Ms. Red Heart, came forward to put a bit less space between me and her.
"We just want to know what's going on Derrick." Nurse Red Heart tried to come off as calming and understanding but all I saw was pity and trying to get me out of here.
The idea that she would try to connect to me as if knowing me due to spending a couple of days with me. It just gives a bitter taste to my mouth, she's just trying to connect dots to make me look insane or even worse try to get me worse. What would talking do anyway?
I'm just a liability for her, extra work she wants off her back as soon as possible just to get with me. But then I take a step back in my thought process.
'Come on Derrick don't be an ass, she just wants to help and I need to stop being such an asshole with my thoughts.' I chastised myself in thought.
I take a deep breath and exhale. "I'm being completely honest here, I don't know how I got here."
I was at a loss with how to keep going with this little game of pretending of 'I don't know anything.'
A clearing of a throat made its presence known from the doorway and a doctor was the owner of the noise. "Nurse Redheart, can you...come over here?"
She looked pretty peeved she was interrupted with the questioning but went along, "I'll be right back."
And then there was one, the officer seemed like she was done with the questioning and just walked off to speak with the doctor.
...pretty boring now alone with my thoughts, very scary actually. But hey that's life for you! Deal with the cards you were dealt with and all that jazz.
Someone cleared their throat and I turned to find the doctor that called Nurse Redheart but looking to the side to see her I found something more somber of an expression on her face.
The doctor called out. "Uh, Mr.Derrick?"
"Yeah that's me and before we start this whole thing uh- is red going to be okay? She doesn't seem very happy."
Redheart shuffled a bit at the doctor's side. "Wha- no I'm completely fine, trust me." She was hard set on trying to look okay but that only confirmed my suspicion.
The doctor turned to see her expression and signaled her to come closer before whispering some stuff.
She calmed her composure a little before turning to me to speak, "I-I'll be tending to other patients, if you need anything Derrick, please do ask."
Before she left she gave me something of a pitiful look, weird.
"Derrick you may want to lay down for this..."
"Isn't that what I've been doing for the past few days?" I joked but he seemed quite serious.
"What's uh, what's going on?"
"I- 'll try to be straight with you, things aren't looking too good."
What?
"W-what?"
"I'm sorry to say that we found some energy disperse in your system, basically some magic latches onto you that you can't physically get out and it's overloading your mana. Usually, this would be easy to output but your body isn't allowing it to. Magical conduits are usually able to handle this no problem with the body knowing what to do but your organs are taking the hit instead-"
Everything he said afterward was more muffled...
"Am- am I going to die?" I whispered in a hushed tone but his expression gave all the response I needed...
He looked uneasy, "I-it's...looking like it, this is completely new and unknown to us and this has never happened before, we'll try as much as we can but-"
I cut into whatever pity he was giving me. "How long do I have? Be honest with me doc."
"...three days at most, after the moon shines after it hits its mark that's when- well..."
I'm dying... I'm dying, no surely they'd have some way to cure me right? I mean they have fucking magic, of course, they could!
"Is there any way-" as soon as I looked into his eyes I knew my answer...
I'm going to die...
Wha- what? How? Why? How did this even happen! I just got to be a pony for a week and most of it I was in a coma!
This was ridiculous! "You have to be joking, I've barely been here!"
"Sir please relax, I'm sad to say I'm not, everything I'm saying is true. We found these magical readings with some scannings and spoke with some experts and without a doubt, your organs are taking the most damage here. I'm sorry to deliver the news... Do you have any family members we can reach?"
I stared blankly at the wall. "...no"
"Are you sure? We haven't any records or could find anything related to you but there must be some pony or creature that you are close to?"
"I uh... I'd like to be alone...please"
"I- I understand, please if you need anything we'll try our best to help."
My body felt hollow and all I ever think about is the noise of the door shutting behind the doctor.
...
Just like that? Got pulled into a pony world and that's how I go out? Without even a few days of real living, I just go out like that? ...how- is there anything I can do? That they could do?
I spoke out "...Is this how I go out?" No one answered and I guess that just sorta hit it in my life. No one to hear me, no one to really help me...
Nothing could describe the sinking feeling I had, sure I knew that ponies dying would be part of the job but I couldn't stomach it. I always had to accept death's grip on my patients but it was all still difficult. And for all the rough exterior Derrick had, he seemed to care more than most, at least that is what I got when he asked if I was okay. And when he spoke, when he realized how bad his condition is he just- lost all emotion and hope in his voice as soon as he asked for space.
That red bright coat with that black charcoal mane just seemed to lose color.
Deaths like these were uncommon in Ponyville, exceptionally rare and death was uncommon in general. But to hear a used-to-be joyous voice sink to the bottom with emotions was- it was just horrible. What was even worse was earth ponies like himself were rarely if ever stricken with a magical illness or death.
I was outside of his room the whole time when I heard his voice ask, his words plead for it to be not the end, I wanted to knock, I wanted to open up and help in some way, somehow. But I hesitated, every fiber of my body wanted to help, to heal as I've always done...but right here? There wasn't any healing I could do.
And as I stood there with hoof out inches away from the door I heard sobbing. The pain, the heartache that came with the sounds, I felt like he needed to get it out, I told myself I need to give him space and talk to him later.
Author's Note
This is more of a challenge for me to try to make the readers (you guys) feel emotionally invested into the character and rip out your hearts at the end. ![]()
