Diamond in the Flames

She'd tried so hard.

Really, she had. But it was so hard to be a good girl when Rarity wasn't around. She made behaving worth it, gave her something to anchor herself on when the going got tough.

Waking up in an empty bed, reaching for the soft, warm body of her beloved and finding nothing almost drove Sweetie to tears every morning. She just wanted Rarity back, wanted her sister to hold her and whisper in her ears that everything would be okay.

Eventually, that insidious voice in her head would whisper in her ears, her inner demons telling her that if she caused enough of a splash, maybe Rarity would come back to her sooner, just like she had after the incident with Fire Tone's birthday. She knew it was wrong, knew that Rarity had her own life to live and couldn't just be taking care of Sweetie, but she needed Rarity, and it was so hard to fight that urge to try to bring her back every second of every day.

And given her position, all it took was one slip-up, and she'd be in the news again, and she'd feel terrible about it again.

Even remembering the pain and shame of her previous failings, Sweetie could hear that voice in her head again, telling her that nothing was worth it without Rarity, so why even bother trying to behave? She'd played the good little filly for so many years, and all it had gotten her was a broken heart. It wasn't until she'd given in to her darker side and entered a taboo relationship that she'd found happiness.

That was why, despite knowing it would end badly, she'd accepted the invitation from Bass Drop to a private party in the Cistern, a nightclub built in the ruins of the old, giant cistern that had supplied water to Manehattan long ago.

The acoustics of the domed building made every note echo over and over again, each pulse threatening to resonate with the others and overwhelm the senses. The phenomenon made it particularly hard to think, which Sweetie was finding that she preferred. Thinking hurt, and she didn't really want to be alone with her thoughts.

Which was why, when she was offered the pill, she took it on instinct. It took another second before her brain registered what she'd done, and she asked Bass Drop what it was she was holding.

"The good stuff!" he shouted back, grinning.

Sweetie hesitated, staring at the pill. It wasn't like she'd never partaken before, but coke and molly just weren't for her, she'd learned after the first time. It'd been years since she'd done anything more than weed or alcohol, mostly because she didn't trust anyone to give her anything harder.

But Rarity wasn't here now.

And Sweetie didn't want to feel bad about that fact anymore.