Gamma leaned in over the table, his chin cradled in his hooves. “But seriously, how did you know I wasn’t the black hat?”

“You can’t teleport,” answered Totality simply.

“I could have easily lied about that,” he countered.

“You’re too kindhearted to be a black hat.”

“Oh, come on,” he groaned. “That’s not gonna hold up in court.”

“It’s true though. And I totally believe you when you say you cried after sacrificing a tree.”

Gamma frowned. “I didn’t say that! I didn’t cry. I said I ‘felt bad.’”

“Whatever. Same difference,” argued Totality, twirling her hoof in the air.

“It was a big nice tree. Well it wasn’t one of those huge ancient trees, but it was older than I was and I respected that.”

“See?” muttered Totality. “Okay, how about this: it doesn’t make any sense for you to wait for me to take you down there to find the stuff you left from your last experiment, and then reverse it with me.”

Gamma held up a hoof. “I was making an alibi for myself and stoking the illusion of some other bad guy in the shadows after making up the story about the book being stolen. It’s all part of an elaborate ruse to get an upside-downie cutie mark sacrifice. That’s you.”

“You already had me down there where you wanted me without the decoy ritual and reverse ritual on top of that and the alleged stolen book. That stuff was all a waste of time that added nothing. Stupid plan. All you actually need is the catacombs story and I’m there.”

Gamma put a hoof to his chin. “Oh, you’re right,” he muttered flatly. “That is stupid. Let’s talk about something else.”

“I should have listened to you about getting help,” breathed Totality.

He shook his head at this. “But if you had listened to me, things would have ended worse. It’s fine. We got out of it.”

“But it was sickeningly close to being very very bad,” she frowned.

“Yeah… but we still got out of it,” Gamma repeated.

“It was a gamble that ended up paying off and I wouldn’t take it back, but I still think it showed bad judgment.”

“Well, now you’re just sounding like me,” he shrugged.

Their conversation was interrupted by the reappearance of the waiter. “Here are your drinks,” he said, floating a glass of juice to each of them.

Gamma thanked him before he left and then turned back to Totality. “To our fake first date,” he smiled.

“And many more,” added Totality.

“Yes, many more fake dates,” agreed Gamma.

Totality squinted back at him. “That’s really interesting, Gamma. I don’t know what that means.”

“It means that the real date was inside us all along,” he explained dreamily.

Totality nodded thoughtfully with a strained expression as she tried to suppress her laughter.

The two of them carefully clasped their glasses between their hooves to try and lift them for the toast. Totality gasped as hers slipped from her grip and slid away, sloshing some of the juice over its sides. Gamma’s fell from his hooves and banged on the table, almost tipping over.”

“Oh sh…”

“Woah, did you just almost swear,” laughed Totality, trying to retrieve her glass.

“No… I wasn’t expecting weirdly shaped glasses. Maybe we can…” Gamma stuck his tongue out as he concentrated hard on clamping the juice.

Totality thought about trying to raise her glass again, but was now very doubtful about the logistics. “There has to be a way to do this without looking like idiots,” she muttered.

"Actually learning how to use our hooves?" asked Gamma.

"Little late," she sighed.

“We can just… push them together,” suggested Gamma, carefully maneuvering his glass to the center of the table.

“Fine, that works,” agreed Totality, smearing a trail of juice across the table.

“Clink,” said Gamma after the lack of an audible sound at their glasses’ meeting.

“Nonalcoholic toasts… my favorite,” put Totality dryly.

“Now what do we do?” asked Gamma, staring into his juice.

“We ask the waiter for straws,” answered Totality. “But then… what do we do when the food gets here?” she wondered aloud, suddenly aware of the fact that a couple of debilitated unicorns eating like slobs was less a spectacle at the academy.

“We ask the waiter to feed us,” suggested Gamma.

Totality rolled her eyes. “Just make sure to tip him well.”

Author's Note

Thanks for reading!
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