Sentinel of Equestria

by Traintrax

Rating: teen
Tags: Random, Human, Main 6, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Adventure
Length: 8122

A teenage dud is dragged to Equestria. For most that would be a dream come true,

A teenage dude is dragged to Equestria (how not cliche). For most that would be a dream come true, but for him it's just another day of doing...whatever it is he does... Look, I don't know....just....whatever.

At the start this is quite serious, but then it gets funny. So, before you hit that down-vote button (I know how tempting it is, and want to do it myself) read the first 2 chapters. That's all I ask. If you still don't like it after that, I respect your God given right to Down-vote this story. Also, this story contains lots of OC's. It isn't OC focused, but it does contain lots of them. Criticism encouraged. I like to improve, and love to hear what the readers say. flame/Hate/troll comments will not be removed. I respect peoples rights to post comments. But, if it gets out of hand, I WILL NOT hesitate to delete.

Published 2012-09-27 04:44:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-10-21 08:37:55 UTC

Prologue/ A Nobody's Start

Sentinel of Equestria

A/N And with this story we start a trip down into the depths of the life of a boy named Ryan. Note that this is NOT a self insert fic. This character is designed to have a rough start, but trust me his life will get better, or worse. This story can also be found on fanfiction if you’re too impatient to wait for updates. Just know that the Fanfiction version has quite a few errors. They don’t make correcting those things easy.

Prologue

It was just another day in my life. Or should I say my hell? My name is Ryan. What's my last name you ask? Who gives a shit? If you really care, make one up or something. That was rude of me, sorry. My last name is private, so I don't think I'll say just yet. Anyways, my life sucks. I'm not poor, but I'm not quite rich either. Upper middle class too be precise. Other than that I'm just a typical dude. Back on topic, then. My life truly sucks.

My family, most of them, hate me. They've always hated me. But, I never understood why. I have almost no friends, and I'm not too quick at making new ones. All in all, I suck. However, at first glance, that isn't what you'd believe. With my rather unkempt long dark brown hair and my pale complexion, I look rather friendly and approachable. I also look like something out of a Twilight movie. I fucking hate the Twilight movies. you should be warned, there is more to me than meets the eye. I'm mean and I'm hateful. I don't mean to be like this, but I am. Not just that, though, I still somehow manage to be a tolerant and chivalrous dude at the same time. Weird, I know.

Right about now you're most likely thinking: God, this guy's a loser, and I wouldn't blame you. Then again, I don't give a fuck of what you think of me. Sorry, anger management issues. I need to work on that. Honestly though, stopped caring about others opinions of myself a long time ago. By now you're probably wondering if there's a point to all of this, if my lengthy rant about myself has any real purpose. Well, yes it does. If you truly want to know the story of how I wound up trolling a world of talking ponies, then you came to the right place, I guess.

Chapter1: A Nobody's Start

Beep . . . beep . . . beep. . .

Fuck off alarm clock.

...

...

...

...

BEEP. . . BEEP. . . BEEP!

DAMNIT, why cant you let me sleep you worthless hunk of trash?!

Groggily I pulled myself out from my covers and slammed the snooze button on my irritating alarm clock. Every time it was the same thing, wake up to the sounds of that stupid ass machine. Sometimes I wonder if the only reason I had it was because I needed it. As I rubbed the sleep from my eyes I slowly stretched my back until i felt that wonderful sensation you feel when you stretch in the morning. Checking the face of the alarm clock I noticed, rather unhappily, that it read 3:00 P.M. Jesus, it's late, I thought to myself. Might as well get some food, or something. I made my way towards the door in my room. But before I could make it to the quite there, I realized I forgot to get my glasses. Quickly, I snatched them off my nightstand and made my way downstairs. As I descended the flight of wooden steps that lead to the upstairs I slipped the glasses onto my face, their large square lenses giving me a geeky look. As I reached the last step I let out a sigh. Time to face the family, I thought to myself with a dreaded sense of apprehension. Dealing with my family members was never very pleasant, and usually didn't end well. For the most part my family left me alone, but when I tried to join them, they'd lash out with hatred.

"Well, look who decided to join us", my mother sneered at me as I walked into the kitchen.

"Fuck you" I said in my usual deadpan voice. Quickly I ducked and narrowly avoided a glass bottle flying towards my face.

"Damnit, missed" I heard my dad mutter from just out of view. Chances were that he was near the kitchen table.

"Your aim sucks dad" screeched Tanya, my little sister. She pouted for a second. “Why can’t you just nail him with a hammer?” How kind of you little sister.

"I'd like to see you do better" my father retorted. Rapidly I exited the kitchen and sought refuge in the living room.

Yeah, family that hates me for no reason, check.

As I sat on the couch, I heard a soft thud come from behind me. Ignoring it, I grabbed the remote, and started flipping through the channels. After about 500 hundred or so of said channels, I turned off the TV. Wow, so many fucking channels and nothing to watch, I thought to myself. That was a first. You'd think that with so many show there'd be at least one good show on. As the boredom of doing nothing started to sink in I yawned. Might as well take a nap. I love to sleep, oh God do I love it. Moments later I was out cold, and dreaming a rather strange dream.

WwWwWwWwWwW

Twilight stood in the lobby of her library. Looking around she stared at each of her friends. When they'd heard that she'd be bringing a new pony to ponyville they all came by to offer their support. Except for Pinkie, she came by to throw a party for the new pony. What was really surprising to Twilight was the fact that her teacher, and ruler of Equestria, had come by to spectate the spell and see if would be a success. In truth it didn't really matter WHY they showed up, all that was really important was the fact that they came at all. They'd all been busy the entire week, and still had more work to come, yet somehow they found the time to come by and help. Although; they really couldn't help all that much. They were mostly there for moral support. And to be the first to greet a pony from another world. Not a big deal, what-so-ever.

Twilight's horn began to glow as she started the spell. The air crackled with her building energy. the magic began to spark off her horn. Suddenly, the space in front of her clouded over and began to grow darker. Until, there stood a large ovular mass of darkness. It wasn't too large, but it wasn't small either. Twilight poured even more magic into the spell, the friends around her gasping at the spectacle. The portal began to shimmer and, slowly but surely a figure began to appear.

A/N- Hi. this is Traintrax here with a not so important message for you. I'd like to say that I'm sorry if my first chapter seems a bit short, I'm not gonna feed any of you the excuse that I had writers block, because I don't. I'm just a lazy author. And it's also partly because writing in the first person perspective is rather difficult. So, sorry. On an unrelated note I am as of right now accepting OC's. Leave your OC in the reviews, or PM(Private message) me and I might just make them into a main character. Just make sure to leave me a detailed description of their personality and all the other aspects about them. Other than that, yeah I got nothing for you. I will try to update this regularly, but if I'm delayed than forgive me. Or don't, I don't care. Note: All OC’s submitted will make their appearance after chapter 17. I already have the first 16 chapters of this typed up, so yeah. I won’t post them all at once, but I will try to post regularly.

That is all. PEACE!

Chp.2) Haunting Dream

Chapter 2: The Haunting Dream

A/N: This is your friendly neighborhood author here with the disclaimer. I do not own the rights to My Little Pony, I believe these rights belong to Hasbro. I only own my OC, Ryan.

Darkness, all around me. This haunting never ending darkness. It stretched on endlessly, to my left, my right, above and below me. There was nothing, no sound, and no life.The silence, oh God the silence. It ripped at me like a blade. Am I dead? No. Death would mean I'd be somewhere, hell it'd be a blessing compared to this, but right now I'm nowhere. Like I'm in a stasis, a void so to speak. Outside of my body, yet capable of feeling. I exist, yet at the same time I don't. I'm...I'm scared. I want out, this is hell. Get ME OUT! And then I'm swept with wave after wave of my own emotions. The first one was hatred. Hatred for whoever did this to me. A burning wrath and desire for absolute vengeance. Next I felt lonely and sad, like no-one cared about me. Actually that was fairly true. Yet, now I feel absolute joy, and happiness. Each day I live was a gift from God. It's as if something, or someone, is copying me. Like literally making a copy of all that I am. Scanning me bit by bit, till they have a full picture. But, that's not possible, is it? Wait, I feel something new now. A tug, it's light but it's there, and growing stronger. Something, is pulling me. I can see a bright glow everywhere. And, what's this? I, I hear voices. Oh thank God, I can hear again. Or, at least I hear fragments of what might be a conversation. I think I heard:

"Almost..got..it, wai...i'm...osin...gri. No! So...clo"

And then the voices fade away. The darkness returns. All the feelings that were tugged away come flying back at me. And, I'm falling. Very rapidly I see a figure approaching. It's laying on it's back. Wait...That's me. I'm flying back down into my body.

. . .

My eyes flew open, as I breathed in a couple quick shallow breaths. I jerked myself upright. What...what in the hell was that? Nervously, I wipe the sweat drenching my forehead off and slowly get to my feet. I was still in the living room. Thankfully, my family had left me undisturbed. That was so thoughtful of them. I quickly checked around the living room and noticed that I was all alone. Suddenly, my stomach roared in aggravation at me. I walked towards the kitchen in the hopes of soothing the savage creature that is my appetite.

As I entered the kitchen I began scouring the fridge.

"Cheese, milk, eggs, yogurt, eggnog."

I listed the individual foods out loud. Twas an old habit of mine to list things in that manner. After a couple more minutes of this I realized I was getting nowhere, and gave up on searching the fridge. Next was the pantry. Alas, there was nothing there either that sounded good. It seemed the more I looked the less there was to find. Typical, nothing to eat, as usual Finally, after a couple more minutes of fruitless searching, I settled on some carrots and ranch dressing (yeah, I eat healthy, sue me). I sat down at the kitchen table and checked the face of my watch. I then proceeded to frown in disappointment. 2:00 A.M.Damn. Can't risk going back to sleep, not if it means facing that again. Whatever, 'that' was. What to do, what to do? Well, could always play video games. I can almost hear the Skyrim callin'. Nah, too simple. Perhaps I could bust out the harmonica. I pondered to myself. There were so many things that could be done, and most of which would never get done because they were pointless, in my opinion.

After going over every possible thing I could do, I finally decided I'd just take a walk. Nothing too long, just a simple stroll through the park. Walking at the dead of night always made me feel relaxed. Hell, doing anything in the dead of night makes me feel relaxed. The dark sky, moonlight reflecting off the dew on the grass and giving it the shimmering appearance of diamonds, It's just a magical hour. Wait, cant forget this. I thought as I quickly grabbed my butterfly knife and dog whistle off the table. Never know who or what might confront you in the middle of the, well, night. Seriously, lots of things go bump in the dark. There was always a chance that I might run into that non-existent zombie I'd been fighting for the past few weeks. I hated him so much.

Carefully stepping outside, so as not to wake the family, I was greeted by the chillingly bitter cold air. I was thankful for the hoodie that covered me. Without it I wouldn't be nearly as warm as I was. Shivering, I shut the door behind me, made my way down the driveway, and then proceeded down the sidewalk. As I walked along, the feeling of being watched suddenly crept over me, but I paid it no heed. I usually never did, and probably never would. The scenery quickly began to transform around me, but I was oblivious to it, wrapped up in my own mind and thoughts.That tends to happen a lot. I get so wrapped up in thinking and personal monologues to myself that I don't tend to notice what goes on around me. Todays topic: reviewing the odd dream, or nightmare, I'd just suffered through. Humming to myself 'Animal I Have Become' by 3 Days Grace, I continued along my merry stroll through the forest unaware of everything. Until,

WHAM!

I smacked into the very wonderful tree that sat right in the middle of my path.

"Fuck that smarts!" I yelled out rubbing at my nose. Jesus, what idiot just puts a tree in the middle of a sidewalk?

It was then that I realized there was no sidewalk. Or, town for that matter. All there was, were trees and bushes, far as the eye could see.

"Odd, I don't recall leaving the town." I spoke aloud to myself. The woods were at least an hours walk away. I shouldn't have been able to make it here in such a short amount of time. This was... weird. Something felt decidedly out of place. Actually, lots of things felt like that, but the feeling was stronger now than it had ever been before.

I quickly turned around and started back on the trek home. The woods at night was just too cliche for me. I mean, really, how many times have I seen that scene in the horror movie where the poor hero is stupid enough to run right into the woods, and then die? Too many, that's for damn sure.

More importantly, this far out I was most likely somewhere near the wolves territory. Where I live, treading upon the hunting grounds of wolves is pretty much saying that you want to die. Wolves out here are vicious, ruthless, animals. That's why I always took my dog whistle wherever I went.

I stopped my brisk walk for a moment and closed my eyes. There was something, a sound maybe? Quickly, I ducked into some conveniently placed bushes and held my breath. Finally, I heard what I was listening for, voices. Or more accurately I was hearing an argument. It sounded violent. If only I'd brought some popcorn, then I could fully enjoy this. Don't judge me.

"Are you sure he went this way?" a distinct female voice asked.

"Quiet bitch, he'll hear us," a masculine voice I knew was familiar, but couldn't quiet place, responded. Kinda rude, really. I mean, who just calls someone a bitch? Well, besides me. Also, what were these 2 people doing this far out...didn't they realize it wasn't safe? The voices started up again.

"Come on Daryl, let's go. This place is creepin the fuck out of me," the female said to who I've now identified as Daryl. The name sounded oddly familiar to me. Could it have been?

Yep. It was the infamous bully, Daryl McCullin. Scottish jackass. Or...was it Irish? Eh, doesn't matter. What did matter was that the bully was here in the woods. Actually, bully is a rather kind way of saying a bastard child who has murdered three students, has robbed 1 gas station, and even put a police officer in the hospital (he'd be in prison, but he's still considered a minor. Which, by the way, I think is a giant heap of shit. Just sayin.). In short, he's a monster. Then again, who isn't? Philosophy aside things were afoot. The voices were getting louder. That meant they were most assuredly heading in my direction. Finally, they walked into view, or stumbled more like it.

Daryl came first, wearing his signature white wife beater, and a pair of dirty black sweat pants. Honestly, that was just idiotic. A wife beater, in 30 degree weather. Idiot. At least I was wearing a hoodie. Then came the other one. A, surprisingly, sexy, tall raven haired girl wearing a purple sweatshirt and...

Damn, look at that rack!

The way she bounced it around with each step was mesmerizing and hypnotic. I shook myself out if the trance that had encompassed me for that brief couple of seconds. Now was not the right moment for such perverse and distracting things, no matter how huge, bulging, bouncy, and sexy that chest is...

Stop it brain, I don't need that shit from you right now. I need to focus!.

Both of them were walking headlong into the most frequented hunting spot in the area. And, were not too far from my hiding place. As I watched them it became clear from their arguing that they'd been following me for some time now. It was also clear that they were absolutely and utterly ignorant. At the volume with which they were speaking I'd be surprised if they didn't get jumped by a renegade band of bloodthirsty pirates. Or wolves, whichever came first.

I let that thought sink in for a moment. Daryl, getting mauled by wolves. Oh God that'd be wonderful. It really would. No more hassling, no more death threats, no more beat downs from his gang. Oh what a joyous thing that would be. It fills me with sunshine and rainbows just thinking about it. Wait...what's happening? Oh yeah. Bully, stalking me. And sexy sister. Hnnnnnnnng. Must...exercise...self control.

Just then a deep and extremely aggressive growl sounded off, and shook me from my inner monologue. If I wasn't already shivering from the biting cold, my spine would have tingled. The growl had come from my right, and had sounded loudly enough to gain the attention of the 2 stalkers. It also sounded very guttural. Not a good sign.

"Come out and get your beating like a man, Ryan." Daryl challenged to the bush next to me. Was he really that stupid? That obviously was an animals growl. He's just...nevermind. Not worth my time.

Then from the bushes next to me, oh thank goodness I dove into this bush and not that one, came a large black wolf followed by a bunch of lighter gray wolves. What are the odds? Just, my luck. Oh how I bless my good fortune. Daryl's face lit up with terror as he realized his mistake. He turned around to try and run for it, but his path was blocked by a wall of wolves. Wolves are evil. And I'm honestly surprised they were awake at this hour. Hell, what were the odds that tonight of all nights my arch enemy would meet his doom at the furry paws of common animals? Either I'm a lucky S.O.B, or his luck was total shit. Of course, restating what's already been said, but still. What are the odds?

Let the slaughter begin, I thought to myself as the angry pack of wolves began closing in on the 2 helpless teenagers (watching the event unfold kinda felt like watching an old timey black and white horror movie). Katherine had froze up and just looked like a statue, which meant she'd be helpless. Hackles raised, each and every wolf let out a deep and aggressive growl. Their eyes glowing bright yellow, it was a sight to behold. And it was then I realized, this was wrong. I mean, sure, this could possibly be the best and most wonderful thing ever, but I'm not a killer. I couldn't just sit here and watch this. I want to, but I can't. Letting 2 innocent people die, it's just in-human. Well, technically speaking only one of them is innocent. But, no one really gives a fuck about technicalities. So, I pulled out my dog whistle, thank God I remembered to grab it, and blew as hard as I could into it. What happened next I can't quite recall, except for wolves. I remember lots of angry wolves. Lucky me.

A/N There's chapter 2. Before I decided to post this it needed some serious editing. This leads me to the subject of editors. And proofreaders. I am in need of them. If you feel you've got what it takes, then answer the call. Also, please review. I, unlike some authors, value what you think of my writings. Also, this is my first fic, so don't give me too much hate. Criticism, yes. But, hate, no. And, earlier I said you could view this story on fanfiction if you wanted to see what happened next, but please don't do it. The one on Fanfiction is much less thought out than this one. And, things in this version of the story will be different from the events in that one. Meaning that if you read that story and think you know what's going on, you can and will be wrong. The next chapter is finished, I just have to go through and edit it *coughcough editor coughcough*. Peace.

Chp.3) On the Other Side

Chapter3: On the Other Side

A/N Author here with some important news. At this point in time I give you chapter 3. Took me a while, yes. And I apologize. I've been rather busy with some shit. Chapter 4 may not be up for a while, so be prepared for a possibly long wait. Also, hi. That is all.

The quiet. the pure unfiltered, unattended, un-something or other quiet. It was a living hell. And I was here again. The blackness. The dark expanse of never ending torment. I'd say I was intrigued by it. I'd say it made me want to question life itself. I'd say a lot of things, but it'd all be lies. The only thing I felt was fear. Time to make some humor for myself while I pass the time and wait for something to happen.

What can I do? Except for think, there really isn't much here. While I'm at the thinking game I might as well name this God forsaken place. I think I'll call it halfway. Like a rest stop for departed souls. Perhaps I'm a departed soul, perhaps I'm dead. Perhaps a lot of things. All of which are mere speculation, considering I have no proof for that theory, no clue where the hell this halfway point is, or where the fuck I am. And on top of that, I have no idea as to what the hell is happening to me. But I do know one thing. If I ever find who or what is doing this to me, I'll punch em. Right in their fuckin jaw. Yeah...right in the jaw. And then I'll spam them with a kidney punch.

I wander around aimlessly for what could have been a couple minutes, or hours(hard to tell when everything is pitch black). Suddenly, that wonderful, God blessed feeling returns. It's the tugging sensation. The one I felt before. Only, it feels stronger. Much stronger in fact. I can feel the process begin again. It starts with my God damn feelings. The emotions fly through me once more. However this time when I feel that tug it, it feels much more focused and precise. It's tugging on my groins. Awkward.

I'm being pulled faster. The bright white light, it appeared sooner.. Almost as if it was in a hurry. Then I began to hear those voices again. However; this time I got a full conversation, not just fragments of some random speech. I will say this: what I heard pissed me off. It really did. To truly understand you'd have to be in my predicament, which you aren't. Allow for me to inform you of what was spoken.

It went something like:

"Alright Twilight, just a little longer my student. The reverse teleportation spell looks like its working. Keep it up. We're almost there." and then I heard a secondary voice, feminine I believe, respond:

"Thanks Celestia. With your help this is much easier than it was before. I'm so excited. We're actually creating a portal to another universe. Even better is that we get to see a real live alternate universe pony.I wonder what knowledge she might possess. I can't even begin to fathom the untold possibilities."

No...no. NO. NO! HELL NO! NOT POSSIBLE!!!

As soon as I heard the names I began struggling, no, I began battling against the pull. I knew what this was. It was a nightmare of the utmost evil. This was like some hell created in the back of your mind that you know awaits you. It was... My Little Pony. My arch nemesis. Now to be fair, I did in fact watch the show. All the episodes of the first 2 seasons. I was, at one point in time, a brony. A legitimate closet brony. Then I got a life.

No, that is not a jab at bronies everywhere, that is literally what happened. I had to move on with my life. I needed to get out into the world and meet people. In the process I fell out of touch with MLP, but I never truly forgot it. After a while I came back to bronyism and wrote a couple cheesy HIE fics. None of the fics were any good, but once I'd gotten them out of my system I abandoned the show for good. And, then I despised it for no reason. That's right, no reason. This situation made me feel like I was getting punishment for just abandoning the show. Probably was, not important. All that mattered was that I was being dragged to my doom.

No. There's not a chance in hell I was going to let myself get tugged into a kids show. Not without a fight. My struggles became more vicious, and I felt like I was close to breaking free. But, it was all in vain as I knew it was too strong to resist. Unfortunately, during the conflict I felt like I lost something, something important. I wonder what it was. And, where the hell am I? What's going on?

My mind starts panicking. I have no clue as to anything that seems to be transpiring around me. All I see is this white light, and other colors. There was a bright purple blob. And then a kinda whit-ish blob. Hard to tell with all the white glowing light around me. Without warning purple blob thing began to speak in a strikingly female voice,

"Oh Celestia! I see our new friend to be. Err, wait. What is that thing?" and the other one, presumably Celestia if I heard correctly, spoke in a rather frantic tone.

" Twilight! End the spell! NOW!"

Too little too late I'm afraid as I finally breached whatever was separating us.

WwWwWwWwWwWwWwWwWwWwWwWwW

I landed flat on my stomach. Pain, arcing through my spine, through my face, through my everything. All there was, was the pain. Like being ripped apart molecule by molecule, and then being re-assembled in less than a fraction of a second. It was agony, and I was about ready to call it quits right then and there. But, I'm too machismo for that. Gotta be the badass that I am and wait for it to end. Also, not as important, I could hear voices, but couldn't distinguish what they were saying. Probably relevant to my situation, but whatever. I could care less.

Slowly, I inhaled a nice, long, deep breath. Breathing feels amazing. Most people take for granted how wonderful breathing can feel. But, I don't. I enjoy sucking in each and every lungful that I can get.

I breath in again and notice something off. It feels like there's dust in the air. Yet, its not dust. Feels like dust, even tastes like dust, yet not dust. Strange. I'm not sure, however; I didn't have time to ponder this as I was rammed in the side by something. Seriously? What's wrong with these people? I just survive a near death experience, and they ram me?! Messed up motherfuckers. And now I hear a voice demanding at me things I just can't comprehend. When will the injustices cease?!!! *sighs* Welp, time for me to be a total badass.

As I opened my eyes I was greeted by a small light blue face, maybe cyan. And, a pair of freakishly large glaring magneta eyes. It looked absolutely fucked up. The sheer size of them eyes(rhyme...yay). I see that the object has a mouth. The mouth is moving like it's talking, but there's no sound coming out. Wait...ahh. There's my hearing. Must've missed the memo that I needed it like a couple seconds ago.

"Answer me! Who are you? What are you? How'd you get here? Are you a spy? Are you an alien?" the cyan blob demanded.

I didn't understand a word of it. Well, yes I understood what this thing was saying, but I didn't understand what it meant. So...I did what I normally do when I don't understand something.

"I don't understand."

State the obvious...

The creature sighed in aggravation.

"I said, Who are you? What are you? How'd you get h-"

CRACK!

...and headbutt the problem.

Whatever was speaking to me flew backwards from the sheer force of the attack. Her flight ended, however; when she collided with a bookshelf. As the weight was lifted from me I got to my feet in an unsteady fashion. Now that I could move again I decided it was about time I met my 'oh-so-rude' kidnappers. Kidnappers is a strong word, but at the moment it feels about right.

I was in the center of a library, no a tree house. Actually, it looked like both. And I was surrounded by...ponies? Yes... it appeared that I was indeed surrounded by ponies. Bright, colorful, sadistic, horned, winged, ponies. My gaze continued to sweep over my surroundings until they came to rest on the bright cyan creature from before. It was slumped against a bookshelf, and covered with books. It was unconscious, and a red trickle of liquid was running down its forehead. My skills must have become greater since last I remembered. Headbutts don't usually knock people out cold. Then again these were ponies, not people.

I returned to looking at the others in the room. Lets take a roll call shall we.

Lavender Unicorn
Check.

Pink Bouncy Hyperactive Pony
Check

White Unicorn with a Mane That Appears to be Made out of Hair Styling Products
Check.

Bright Unconscious Cyan Pegasus With Rainbow Hair
Checkaroo

Orange Pony Wearing a Stetson
Check

Timid and Slightly Cute Butter Pegasus
Check

Now that roll call's done we can...wait, they look familiar. Almost as if I'd seen them before. Well, until my memories decide to return to me I'll just say they look familiar. As I took each one of them in, my gaze lingered on a very aggressive looking unicorn. No, wait make that a winged unicorn. Or, is it a horned pegasus? It stood nearly as tall as I did. It's coat shone with a white radiant brilliance, and its' mane flowed as if it were being pushed by a breeze. Suddenly, a name popped into my skull. Without thinking I uttered it. "Celestia?"

As soon as the name escaped my mouth her eyes narrowed.

"How do you know my name monster?", she growled at me. It was definitely female.

Monster.
...
...
...

She called me a monster. Where the hell do these things get off? First they abduct me, and then they assault me. And now they have the nerve to call me a monster. Like hell. This would not stand.

"Call me that again, one more time. Please, just call me monster one more time." I retorted in a dangerous and yet jaunty voice deciding to ignore her question. It was a challenge.

Slowly she raised an eyebrow at me and in a slightly curious voice asked,

"What? Monster. That's what you are. A monst-ACCHHH!", she never finished her sentence. In less than a fraction of a second I was standing before her and had her neck clenched in my hand. I lifted her off the ground, squeezing just enough that she wouldn't be able to speak.Gasps of surprise sounded around me, but I completely ignored them. The white, umm oh alicorn that's what they're called, was much lighter than I thought she was, or I was stronger than I'd imagined myself to be.

"Listen, and listen closely. I will say this once, don't ever call me a monster. You have no idea what I am." I whispered menacingly.

Perhaps I overreacted. Perhaps the situation could have gone a lot better than it did. Perhaps I'm too badass for my own good. But, nevertheless I followed up my warning with an immense display of stupidity. I leaped out a window. Let's allow that to sink in shall we.
...
...
...
I leaped...out a window. I'm so fucking brilliant.

Strangely, enough I didn't even know that the window in question even existed. Yet, I still managed to jump out of it nonetheless. It was as I began to fall that I realized that the room I was in was 6 stories up. Aww shit, I thought right before I hit the ground.

A/N And there is Chapter 3. Love it or hate it. Leave me a comment and let me know what needs improving. Also, I still need an editor in chief and a proofreader. If you'd like to apply then don't hesitate. Seriously though, leave me a comment. I value your input.

Magical...Talking...Ponies. What Fresh Hell is This?

Magical...Talking...Ponies. What Fresh Hell is This?

A/N- This is your author here with a question. Would anyone like to man up and volunteer to proofread/edit my story? Seriously, I need a proofreader. Also, you should know now that this isn't the original chapter 4. The original sucked so bad that I wanted to kill it...with fire. Not a joke. I really did want to kill it. So, I decided to just go ahead and scrap it. This is the product of a more realistic...reality. Redundant, I know. Anyways, enjoy chapter 4.

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I hit the ground.

...

...

...

I said I hit the ground.

...

...

...

Where the hell's the ground?

I waited for a couple seconds. I coulda' sworn that'd I'd have made contact with the entity known as 'ground' by now. I didn't jump from that high up...did I?

Finally, I couldn't take the suspense and cracked one of my eyes open.

There was the ground, not but mere inches from my face. But, I wasn't on it. Nope. I wasn't on the ground. So by logic, if I'm not on the ground, and I'm most certainly not swimming in water then...

"I'M FLYING!!!!", I shouted with glee. I could fly. So fucking awesome. I was like Superman, but I didn't completely suck.

I was so wrapped up in my new found joy, that I didn't notice the light golden aura surrounding me. I also managed to not notice when I started levitating back up to the window I'd just busted through. I did, however; notice when I was roughly slammed into a bookcase by a mysterious force.

"Fuuuuuuuck. What hit me?", I moaned. My delusions of grandeur and flying had been shattered when my aching body hit the bookshelf.

My eyes struggled open, and regretted it. My vision was assaulted by a myriad of bright colors. Purple, pink, orange, white, white/purple, cyan. Shit, the only color missing was yellow. Slowly, the colors came into focus. And I was staring at ponies. The same ponies from before. How odd...I coulda sworn I'd ditched them. They all wore different expressions on their faces. Time for another wondrous roll call.

Purple Unicorn

Curiosity. Eyes filled with questions. Wonderful. Just fucking wonderful. Cause' we all know that I just love answering questions.

Pink Semi-Rubber Pony

Sheer un-defiled joy, and possible insanity. I recommend 2 and a half doses of 'Calm the Fuck Down'.

White Unicorn

Curiosity...and she's staring at my pants. That's...that's awkward.

Blue/Cyan/Teal Pegasus

Rage. Lots and lots of rage. Heh, fun times ahead.

Orange Cowpony (legitimate word...right?)

Rage, and mistrust.

White Alicorn

Mistrust, fear, and a slight hint of confusion.

And thus ends my righteous roll call. I scanned them, and they scanned me. The room was filled with a silence so awkward that it could only be broken by those of the utmost awesome.

Also known as me.

"So...lovely weather we're having, isn't it?"

Smooth.

They all blinked in unison, then purple unicorn thing began speaking.

"What...what is it? I've never seen anything like it before in any of the history books. And, on top of that it knows how to speak Equestrian. Amazing."

I blinked. This meant that chances were I wasn't on Earth anymore. Or, that I was bat shit insane, and this was my delusional paradise. God...I hope it's the latter. Also, less important, they were talking about me as if I wasn't right in front of them. Just a pet peeve of mine. Not like I'm not in the room or anything.

Next to speak was orange pony.

"Ah' don't care what it is. It hurt Dash. Nopony, and I mean nopony gets away with hurtin' ma' friend."

I'm sorry, make that hillbilly pony. Or redneck pony. Whichever suits you. Honest to God, that accent was downright ludicrous. A southern style pony...this must actually be hell. I'm in hell, and these are my tormentors. Who's next?

"Well, that's probably because we scared it."

A disembodied and quiet voice. Oh god... IT'S A GHOST!!!!!

All of a sudden the big white alicorn stepped to the side revealing a butter yellow pegasus with a bright pink mane. I shit you not. Butter...yellow. Like someone had dipped it into a vat of liquid flavor, and then pulled it out. Makes me hungry. Said pony was trying to hide behind its' mane, which wasn't working.

She spoke again in a timid and quiet voice like before, assuming it's a she,

"I mean, we did kinda rip it from it's world and fling it into ours."

Ahh...theory confirmed. I be not on Earth anymore. So...just where the fuck am I?

"I can answer that." spoke the large white alicorn.

Wait a second...

...

...

...

Did she just mind rape me?

I tried to turn my head so that I could give her my full attention, but found that such a thing was now impossible. In fact, none of my limbs would agree to my wish of moving. But, the worse part was that my nose itched. OH THE HUMANITY!!!

Oh wait...big white alicorn thing's speaking...and I zoned out. That'll probably come back to bite me later.

"...Equestria."

The alabaster pony gave me an expectant look as she finished her speech. Fuck...probably should have been listening to what she was saying and... OH GOD NOSE ITCH!!!!!! Most people would say that I should get over the itchy nose. But, they don't know what it feels like to be unable to scratch at the abomination that is 'the itch'.

"I'd love to respond to whatever you're saying, but my nose itches...so it'll have to wait." I stated bluntly. Now, I should be focused on the impossible talking equines in front of me, but my nose itched. It was like it was covered in fire ants. Everything else just sorta paled in comparison to that.

"Well, that is a side effect of being levitated." Spoke the purple unicorn...

...

...

...

What? Levitation...just...what?

I decided to voice my confusion in hopes that it might die.

"You said levitation...as in magical levitation?"

The unicorn, probably should learn some names, nodded slowly and gave me the 'what are you, an idiot?' look.

"Yeah, I mean magical levitation. It's a simple spell."

The white pony spoke immediately after the unicorn did, thus stealing my chance to speak.

"Actually Twilight, this is starting to hurt. This human is far heavier than it looks. I'm not sure if I can keep this up much longer."

One name down. Twilight. Like the shitty vampire movie. I assume Twilight is the unicorn with the purple coat.

As for the white equine, her face was scrunched up with the looks of a visible effort being given. Beads of sweat were dripping down, and I could tell she was about ready to give out.

"How heavy could it possibly be?" asked Twilight. Her horn started to glow and the nose itch turned into a nose pain.

Twilight, still not sure if that's her name, grunted and her brow raised.

"Oh wow. You weren't kidding, it really is heavy."

Now for the most part, I've tried to be patient with these alien pony creatures. I tried to wait to see if I could learn anything. I even tried to be polite and not shout obscenities at them. But this was too much. The nose pain, the fact that they had me imprisoned, another planet. Fuck it all, I'm pissed.

I grunted my frustration and began struggling against the skin tight prison that encased me. My anger surfaced, I wanted nothing more than to be free. Immediately, my efforts were rewarded with a pained groan from the creatures in front of me.

"I...can't keep it up." I wasn't sure who said that.

My struggles became even more vicious than they already were. After a couple more seconds the sound of shattering glass hit my ears, and I dropped to my feet. As soon as I touched the ground something slammed into me, and knocked me off my feet. As it was, I wasn't in the best of moods. So, combine that with the fact that I'd been knocked to the ground, again, you can imagine just how pissed I really was. My eyes shot open and I looked at what new foe dared to assault me. It was the blue pegasus. She was standing on my chest and glaring at me with those freakishly large eyes.

"Don't even think about it,bub." she growled with malice. After a second I noticed that the orange cowpony was busying herself(I'm going out on a limb and assuming they're all female) with tying my legs together. Now, this both puzzled and infuriated me. She was making me a captive by tying me up, but she didn't have any hands. How does one tie a rope together without hands? And, past her the 2 magic users from before were on the ground panting, their eyes closed in exhaustion. The yellow pegasus was trying to revive them, while the pink pony was lounging on a lawn chair and munching on some popcorn. I couldn't see the white unicorn, but she was probably still in the room.

My attention was snapped back to the ponies nearest to me when the orange one started jabbing me in the chest with her hoof.

"Now 'ah don't know who you think you are mister, but nopony gets away with hurtin' ma' friends like that. Now you're going to apologize to Rainbow Dash, Celestia, and Twilight, and then you're going to answer our questions."

Nope. That's it. final straw. They want me to apologize. Fuck this, fuck them, fuck it. I'm done.

"Let me see if I understand you correctly," I began, my voice taking on a mixed tone of anger and disbelief, " you rip me from my home and family, you attack me, take me hostage, try to interrogate me, and now you want me to apologize for defending myself? No. Hell, no! I will not apologize, not to you, not to her, not to anyone! The only thing that I'm doing is leaving."

And with that my legs snapped the rope in half and I jumped to my feet, knocking the 2 ponies off me. Raising my fists I prepared myself for a fight. By now the magic users had recovered and had their heads lowered and horns glowing. They looked ready to take me down. I've never had very good anger management. So this situation probably shouldn't have ended like this. I mean, who actually prepares to fight ponies? the answer: me.

The blue pegasus darted at me yelling out some battle-cry. And I brought my fist back ready to strike her down when-

BOOM!!!

-an explosion sounded off. The room was instantly engulfed in smoke. I completely lost whatever capabilities of sight and dropped to the ground in alarm. A masculine voice shouted through the shroud,

"Run human, while you have the chance! Head to the Everfree Forest! You'll be safe there."

I didn't question the voice, I simply obeyed. If it meant the freedom to relax and recollect my thoughts, then screw it. I barreled to my left and hit some form of object. Imma' hazard a guess that it's a wall. It didn't stop me, though. I continued moving and found myself falling. As I hit the ground my leg muscles began working overtime and I sprinted towards the forest in the distance. As the tree/library faded behind me, I wondered who my savior was. Who could it have been.

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Library

Celestia stared at the pony before her. One of her most loyal gaurds. A traitor. He'd set off the smoke bomb. Set loose the human. Now she had to deal with not just a loose monster, but with this pony as well.

"Why? Why did you do it Straight Edge? You're my best guard, my most loyal subject, why'd you allow the human to escape?" She asked, her tone filled with hurt and betrayal. Or sadness, probably sadness.

The stallion looked up at her, his body encompassed in Celestias magic. He smiled as he answered her.

"Because, it's the only way."

Celestia sighed as she teleported him back to the castle. She'd deal with him once she got back. But, for the time being she needed to tend to her, most likely, confused subjects.

As Celestia faced them Twilight approached cautiously, her face filled with bafflement and fear.

"Princess...what...what do we do now?"

Celestia let out a slow sigh and turned her head to stare out at the Everfree forest.

"We have to capture the human, before it causes anymore harm."

Applejack strode forward and spoke next,

"Princess...you acted like you knew what that thing was, and still act like you do. How do you know it? What is it? Where'd it come from?"

Celestia let out another sigh, and turned back to face Applejack.

"I'm afraid that'll have to wait until later. Until we recapture that human, nopony is safe. Once I'm sure that it isn't a threat, I'll answer all of your questions." The ponies assembled before her nodded, accepting her answer for the time being.

And with that they all turned to stare at the Everfree forest, the same exact thought running through, most of, their heads.

'What happens now?'

A/N- There it is...chp.4. Tell me what you all thought of it. Any criticism is welcome, and if anyone has any advice, I'd appreciate that also. I'm still in the market for a proof reader/ editor if anyone'd like to help with that. I'll start working on chapter 5 as soon as I can, but it may take a while. So, leave a comment or something.