A Hearth's Warming Tale

by PrincessEnchanteDream

Rating: everyone
Tags: Anon, Comedy, Princess Celestia, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Human, Romance
Length: 2486

It's Hearth's Warming Eve and Anon is determined to get the best present for Celestia, and make it a holiday worth remembering. Unfortunately, Fate has other plans. Will he succeed or is it another recipe for disaster?

It's been a couple of months since he arrived in Equestria and Anon's still adjusting to life. When he hears about "Hearth's Warming", Anon is determined to give the best present ever to Celestia, and hopefully earn her affections in the process. Follow Anon as he goes on a hilarious present hunt and pray he doesn't get banished to the moon for a millennia.

This is written as a gift for ROBCakeran53 as a part of Jinglemas 2021.

Cover art is 2740240 on Ponybooru.

Published 2021-12-26 16:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2021-12-26 16:00:00 UTC

Christmas in Canterlot

Anon walked down the streets of Canterlot, his hands tucked in his pockets. He shivered and wrapped his scarf around tighter as a cold wind blew past him. Funny how he lived in a magical pony place, with magical flying ponies, WHO, raised the sun and moon, controlled the weather, did all sorts of magical spells, but didn't change the season just because of some traditional holiday. If his calculations were right, it was supposed to spring right now, not winter, but meh, who cares anyways?

Anon would've thought, after months of living in Equestria, ~~everyone~~ everypony would get used to him being around, but no. A few ponies did wave at him as he passed by, a couple still looked unsure about his presence, and there was the occasional one or two who screamed and ran for their lives. Oh, and let's not forget that one. Anon cringed as he remembered that mint-green pony, Lyla, or Lyra, whoever she was. The moment she first laid eyes on him, she'd latched onto his legs and wouldn't let go, while her horn thingy prodded and pulled at his fingers. It had taken the combined strength of four alicorns, three griffons, two yaks, and one draconequus to pull her off him.

A couple minutes later, Anon found himself standing in front of the castle. It wasn't that much of a distance to walk over there, but...ahem...if there was some other form of transportation, he would've reached in a considerable shorter time. But no, Anon preferred to have his ~~hooves~~ legs on the ground, thank you very much.

Anon nodded at the two guardsponies at the gates, and then entered the castle, already knowing his way around, having visited many times before. He had to admit, it was quite odd sometimes, conversing with ponies that were barely taller than his waist. But seeing (and talking) to them on a daily basis had made it not so strange anymore.

As he reached the door to Celestia's study, Anon lifted a ~~hoof~~ hand to knock, but stopped when he saw the door already open. Anon shrugged, and then stepped inside.

"Hello Celestia," Anon greeted, leaning against the door, trying to appear cool and suave.

Princess Celestia looked up from the scrolls she was going through and smiled.

"Anon," she said warmly and beckoned a hoof towards herself. "Make yourself comfortable, I'm almost done with sorting these out."

Anon casually walked towards her and plopped himself down on one of the beanies, making himself comfortable. He watched for a while as Celestia murmured things to herself, and checked off several things on the list with a quill. After what seemed like eternity (while in reality, was only a couple of minutes), Celestia placed the scroll on the a table and turned towards him.

"Not that I'm pleased to see you here, Anon, but I must ask, did you require anything in particular?" Celestia queried.

Anon shrugged loosely. "Do I need a reason to visit my favourite princess in all of Equestria?"

He let a smile slip through when she laughed merrily.

"Oh hush, you," Celestia said, lightly whacking him with a cushion. "I can tell you wish to ask something that resolves all your doubts."

Anon glanced outside, where it began to snow. "Okay okay, you got me. I was wondering why it's winter in Equestria when it's supposed to be summer, or spring I think."

"Correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm pretty sure that seasons in your world change due to movements of the Sun and the Moon," Celestia mused. "As opposed to Equestria, where, well, Luna and I control them. Hearth's Warming being so close is a possible influencing factor."

Anon raised his eyebrows curiously. "Hearth's Warming?"

Celestia glanced at him, a soft smile playing on her muzzle as she settled back on her seat.

"Ah of course, it'll be your first time. Hearth's Warming is one of oldest traditions of Equestria, celebrated by creatures of all kind. A day where we celebrate the founding of Equestria, and spend time with our loved ones. It is-"

Anon and Celestia jumped up from their seats, startled as a sharp ringing sound rang out in the air.

"Oh those ringers-"

"Alarm clocks," Anon corrected automatically.

"-yes alarm clocks," Celestia said amusedly. "I'm afraid I'll have to take your leave now Anon, although anything else you need to ask about Hearth's Warming, Twilight will be more than happy to lend you a book or two."

Anon nodded in understanding, and lifted a hand to wave. "Later, Celly."

Celestia laughed good naturedly and leaned over to peck Anon on the cheek.

"Farewell, Anon."

With those words, Princess Celestia got up and trotted out the door, leaving a very stunned, shell-shocked, but goofily grinning Anon behind.

"So, let me get this straight," summarized Twilight Sparkle, an unreadable expression on her face. "You want a book on the history of Hearth's Warming, A Guide to Hearth's Warming Presents, Equestria's Founding, and Celestia's Biography to find an appropriate present to give to Princess Celestia all the while simultaneously expressing your admiration?"

Anon scratched his head sheepishly. "When you put it that way, well, yeah."

Twilight beamed. "Well, why didn't you say so? It's a well known fact that Princess Celestia's favourite delicacy is cake and she loves it more than anything." Her horn glowed as several books came their way. "Here's a book on presents ponies have given to Celestia over the years, here's one on a cake recipe given by Celestia's personal chef, here's one on- Anon?"

Anon groaned pitifully from under a huge mound of books. Twilight had been so absorbed in describing them, she didn't realize that instead of putting them down, she had sent them all flying to Anon, who was unfortunately knocked down by the gist of them all.

Twilight dropped the book she was carrying and teleported over to him. She poked a hoof in the pile, where a small tuft of black hair could be seen buried.

"I'm so sorry, I was only trying to help," Twilight said in a panic as she hurriedly levitated all the books off Anon. "Are you alright?"

Anon stumbled dazedly to his feet, rubbing at a bump on his forehead. "Still alive, so yes. I'll take that cookbook please, and get working on it, Hearth's Warming is almost here."

Twilight complied wordlessly.

Anon flipped through the pages of the cookbook, stopping when he reached a page titled " Celestial Cake: The Secret to Equestria's Favourite Delicacy". He grinned and pointed at the recipe.

"Look Pinkie, it doesn't seem too difficult! I'll be able to bake one in time for Hearth's Warming!"

"Uh huh," Pinkie agreed as she hopped around excitedly. "This is gonna be the most mouth-wateringly marvelous meringue cake EVER!!"

Anon smiled, spurred on by her enthusiasm.

"First, we gotta take EXACTLY five cups of flour," Pinkie ordered, pointing at the bag of flour. "And then three cups of-"

*POOF!*

Anon had tugged too hard on the bag, causing it to explode flour all over them. When the dust cleared away, Pinkie and Anon looked like they had been hit by a snowstorm.

"Ah-CHOO," sneezed Pinkie, blowing more flour. "Don't worry Anon, there's another bag in the storeroom."

Opening the next bag was more successful, and Anon delightedly poured five cups in the mixing bowl. Following Pinkie's instructions, he soon had a delicious looking cake batter sitting in front of him.

"This looks about right," Anon said, trying not to show how gleeful he was.

Pinkie nodded furiously.

"Now all that's left is to put it into the oven and turn on the timer. Don't forget when it rings, or else there'll be no cake, only a burnt dish and smoke!"

Anon slipped on the mittens and carefully placed the tin inside the oven. He changed the temperature, and set a timer of 45 minutes, keeping in mind not to forget. While waiting for the cake to finish baking, Anon pulled out a chair and he and Pinkie chatted merrily until the timer went off.

"Careful," Pinkie called in a sing-song voice as Anon jumped up and waited for the oven to cool down, before carefully pulling the cake tray out of it. He cut two slices out of it, and he and Pinkie immediately dived, stuffing their mouths with cake.

Their reaction was instantaneous. Pinkie spat out a mouthful, spraying crumbs everywhere, while Anon struggled to swallow his down.

"Sugar...not...salt," Pinkie wheezed out, and Anon nodded miserably, utterly distraught at his failure of making a simple cake. Noticing his expression, Pinkie pulled him into a bear hug.

"Don't worry silly billy! Mistakes like these happen all the time. Now, let's clean this mess up, and get preparing, I'm sure you'll be able to make a lovely cake in time for Hearth's Warming."

The days passed quickly and before he knew it, Hearth's Warming was here. The day Anon was looking forward to as well dreading the thought of what could go wrong. The day had been pretty pleasant overall, and Anon was hoping it'd stay that way. He had been fairly surprised to find presents at the foot of his bed, and was delighted to see that ponies had actually given him something. Having done enough reading on the holiday, he had gotten thoughtful gifts for all his friends so far, but wasn't really expecting to get some himself. Anon was awed at the presents; Applejack had sent a homemade pies from her farm, Twilight had sent a dozen or two books, and Celestia had knitted a lovely scarf for him. As he had planned on giving her intended gift later on, Anon had given a card to Celestia for the time being. She had pleasantly accepted it, albeit a bit confused.

As Anon stood fretting in the castle kitchens, a tug on his leg made him look down, where a familiar farmpony was standing, smiling softly.

"Don't fret sugarcube," Applejack said kindly. "Everything will be fine."

Anon ran a hand through his hair, distressed. "I do hope so."

Applejack lightly patted him on the leg. "I believe in ya Anon."

Anon shot her a nervous smile, and then steeling his nerves, pushed the cart holding Celestia's present into the foyer, where the sun princess was seated on a cushion, engrossed in reading something. She looked up as he brought the cart to a halt in front of her.

Celestia raised a delicate eyebrow, but before she could speak,

"Happy Hearth's Warming Celestia!" Anon blurted, whipping away the cloth covering her present. Celestia gasped as a massive three story cake was revealed, layered with berries and chocolate, with a small statue of Celestia as the topper.

"Oh my...Anon...I'm thankful beyond words...it looks absolutely delicious," breathed Celestia.

Anon rubbed the back of his head sheepishly, unable to believe it was all going so well.

"Uh..it's nothing really. How about you give it a try?"

Celestia was more than happy to comply. "I'd be delighted to."

Anon watched, satisfied, as Celestia levitated a knife and started to cut the cake. A sudden whirring noise made his eyes widen, and he had the sinking feeling that things were about to go very, very wrong.

The doors burst open just as the cake sprung off the table with a large boing, and straight into-

"-DON'T TOUCH THE-"

...Celestia.

But alas, it was too late. Pin drop silence fell in the room as Anon stared at the cake covered princess in horror, who blinked in shock and surprise. Pinkie skidded to a stop, hooves flying to her muzzle as she took in the scene in front of her.

"I...I'm so sorry," Anon croaked out, and without waiting for a response, he turned tail and fled the room.

Anon ran. He ran as fast as he could, no particular destination in mind, but wanting to get away from everything that just happened. He ran up the stairs to the highest tower in the castle, and throwing open the doors, immediately collapsed into the nearest couch. Fitness was not really his kinda thing, but when you had a (possible) angry princess on your warpath, survival was a necessity.

Anon slumped on the seat, burying his face into his hands. This was it. He had officially screwed up everything, all he could do was pray he didn't get banished to the moon for a thousand years (or more). As he sat lamenting, he didn't notice the soft hoofsteps stop near the door, and a concerned face peering in.

Celestia gently opened the door with magic, a soft but worried smile on her muzzle. She moved silently until she reached Anon and then lifted a hoof to rub at his head.

Anon looked up in surprise when he felt something touch his head, and jumped ten feet in the air, eyes wide with horror.

"Ah!"

Celestia drew back at his alarmed expression. "I apologize for the scare, Anon."

Anon shook his head. "No, no it's alright...I-I'm alright." He shifted to the right, and gestured to the space. "Uh..um..would you like to sit down?"

"I'd be delighted to," chirped Celestia, plopping down on the empty seat.

There was silence for a few minutes, with Anon not saying anything, and Celestia, keeping quiet, so as to not make the young man more uncomfortable than he already was.

"I'm sorry," Anon said quietly, not meeting her eyes. "I thought it would've be a nice surprise, I just didn't expect it to...you know...fly into your face."

Celestia draped a wing over his shoulders, meeting his surprised look with a calm gaze.

"It was a wonderful surprise. The cake was delicious, albeit a bit smashed, but others things aside, I really enjoyed it."

Anon stared at her like she was mad, and then quickly rearranged his expression. "Are you sure?" he asked carefully.

Celestia nodded firmly. "One hundred percent. You have nothing to worry, Pinkie Pie was quick to explain that there was a slight misunderstanding in the gifts, the one you brought was intended for Cheese Sandwich, not me."

"Oh thank goodness," Anon sighed in relief. " I was so sure you were going to banish me to the moon for like a thousand years or something."

"Why would I banish you to the moon?" asked Celestia, bemused.

"I basically threw an entire cake on your face." Anon deadpanned.

Celestia laughed, and then leaned forward to nuzzle against him. Anon froze at her actions, before slowly relaxing and putting an arm around her.

"Oh, Anon, you know I could never be mad at you."

Anon lifted his other hand and ran his fingers through her dazzling mane. A tingly feeling ran through him, like he had a sudden urge to kiss her. Anon looked up, there was mistletoe hanging from her horn.

"Happy Hearth's Warming, Anon."