The Unwanted Oneby BulletspiralChaptersEpilogue II. A Step Into The Future1. A Simple Question2. The Separated House3. A Second Chance4. Confession5. A Glance Into The Abyss6. Own Truth7. A Heart-To-Heart Talk8. A New Start9. Alicorns the Sisters10. Certainty11. A Hard Question12. The Returning of The Queen13. Thoughts14. Misunderstanding15. Your New World16. The Red Cross17. Two Lonelinesses18. Cowards Die Many Times Before Their Death19. Towards The Life20. On The Wing!21. The Invitation, That Cannot Be Denied22. Darkness23. A Guess24. Bladetalk25. The Princess' Guest26. A Night, A Stallion, A Mare27. With Such Friends...28. A Day of Surprises29. Embraces of The Abyss30. Poison For The Soul31. The Princess of Nothing32. A Package33. A Moonless Night34. Blood On The Blade35. A Look Behind36. Ponies Can Be Different37. The Unforgiven One38. A Drawn Out Silence39. A Round Anniversary40. Home is Where...41. Ego Eimi42. Deserved Admiration43. A Dark Future44. A Holiday is Coming To Us45. Make Everything Right46. Tungsten of Science47. Recumbence of Soul48. Gray World49. Confirmation of Truth50. The Tension Point51. A Rare Advice52. Daydreams53. 'Till The Last54. The Fruits of The Victory55. A Second As Eternity56. For Your FriendsEpilogue I. Words About The PastTranslator's thoughts, farewells and thanks.Additional material I - the not included oneAdditional material II - author's fanonEpilogue II. A Step Into The FutureSomething has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.1. A Simple QuestionEverything is strange here. For a dead person, I’m thinking too much. There are no chances of being alive after that, even in theory. It was a very bright finale, a finale of which there’d be nothing left to bury. Is it surprising that I feel terrible? It is, because I have no right to feel anything at all. My right leg is aching, my ribs are burning, again, on my right. I can feel iron in my mouth, and I can barely capture my own chaotic thoughts due to the splitting headache. I can't think... In this state, people would probably begin to ask questions like “Who am I?” and “Where am I?” Maybe it's an absurd thought, but I can't think of others. Really, why not? It's a simple question. “Who am I?” There is an unforgettable, nasty feeling, like when you take your paper for an examination and you see a very easy question on top. You’re the first one to come to the teacher, to take a seat, to read the question, to wait for an approving nod for this very simple and trivial answer... and with fear, you realize - you have nothing to say! Only a minute ago you knew the answer, yet it's completely out of your memory! You perplexedly look at the treasonous question card. “I know this question! There is a very obvious answer! Nothing serious! What was it?!” The teacher curves an eyebrow ironically as he says, “I expected more from the brave one who came to me with such confidence.” You're frustrated, you listen to how the clock ticks in the crushing silence of the auditory, and only one thought is in your head. “I know, I definitely know! What was it, God damn it?!” Well, it could have even been funny, if this feeling hadn't brought up a really trivial question: “Who am I?” Trying to calm down. Okay, step by step, what do I remember? I’m a man. Male. Well, anything else? It's hard to concentrate, my thoughts are mushing up, raging, crushing with each other... Name, what is my name? Nothing. Empty. Like a slimy snake, fear is crawling into my heart. No. No-no-no! Your own name - it's not what you can just forget! Remember!!! COME ON!!! Okay, calm down! Panicking will not help! Let’s take a look from another side: What did others call me? My relatives, my friends? And now it's really frightening. I had relatives and friends, I had! I know it, I'm absolutely sure! But I can't remember their faces, their names, nothing! I frantically travel through my memories: fragments of some conversations, emotions, feelings... Conversations with whom? Whom are these emotions for? I almost feel how fear becomes a sticking terror. How is it possible? What should I do? I can't forget this! Did I really forget it all? What do I even remember? I try to catch my last thought, like a drowning man tries to catch anything, that can help him, even a straw. Its logicality and rationality barely allow to quell the rising panic. Maybe, I can find something in my other memories? Then, like a chain reaction, I will remember everything! Right?! Surprisingly, impersonal information can be found very easily and is frighteningly clear. The keyboard layout, the scheme of assembling and disassembling of an AK-74M, the scheme of steam engine, the most effective way of clearing rust from a kettle, the recipe of the “Mimosa” salad - all in extreme detail. Many of these memories, one would think, forgotten long ago because of uselessness. And sadly, complete absence of even a bit of personal information. But I do remember something, and that helps me to slightly calm myself. Panic gradually becomes cold-blooded emptiness and depressive grief about losing something important, something... No, I can't remember what it is. A heavy sigh automatically exits my mouth. Ah, damn it! It’s painful! A deep inhale replies with a shot of pain in my right side. What is wrong with me?! Where am I?! With a heavy apathy these questions are not so interesting for me, but with a force of will, I turn my attention to them, just to stop thinking about... just to stop thinking. I start concentrating on my feelings. My head was aching heavily, and it felt as if something like a fiery dowel was hammered into my forehead. My eyes are closed, I’m lying on my belly, and the surface is solid and chilly, like concrete. My pose is not comfortable, my left hand, on which my poor head is resting, is swollen and I can barely feel it. My right side aches annoyingly, like I hit something against it very hard. It seems like nothing special, but how these “annoying aches” turn into sharp, painful shots from each inhalation, it leads to not so optimistic thoughts. My right leg, seemingly, got its part too, but it's unclear how serious it is. I can feel something like a deserted and distinctive metal spice of blood in my mouth. And there’s more... I hear voices? Yes, someone is talking, but it's like through a pillow; I can't make out the words. But I swear to God, I can hear sobbing. What the heck is going on here? I don't like this at all... I open my eyes. A small stone rise is before me, and I can hear conversation somewhere behind it. Raise a little, raise my head... Having my head dropped again, I shut my eyes, trying to come to terms with what I just saw. And what do I do with all of this? Either my head is even more broken than I thought or, as the saying goes, something far worse. It’s not a big problem to recognize the scene from my selective defective memory. Eight multicolored horses, a big one, with a multicolored mane, that waves as though it is in the wind, hugs a smaller dark blue one with her wing. Both are crying with all their hearts, saying something to each other; the other six are just standing by in a semicircle. It's not clear what they’re doing from my point of view. But considering the only one, whose muzzle I can see, her eyes are filled with tears, that she furtively brushes aside these with her hoof. Around me is a destroyed hall, big lancet windows without glass; cracked and ivy-cloaked columns; a ceiling with many holes in it. I watched the cartoon, so memory is reporting about the seen situation with details: The Elements of Harmony set Princess Celestia free and brought back the good side of her sister - Princess Luna. And this just happened, in the half-ruined castle of the Two Sisters, somewhere in the Everfree forest, which is situated in the friendly and magic country of Equestria. Of course, there would be a question about, “Which of the mad houses of the city am I in?” But... What's the point of these thoughts, if there was no way I could have survived?! And more, it feels so realistic... Well, let's pretend for a moment, that this situation is real, then a question appears, "From what point of view am I seeing it?". If I remember the canon right, there can't be any more than these eight. Am I laying here in my own body? If it's true, I can't understand what it is, as the memory of my own appearance is completely gone with my name as well. I sadly chuckle at this thought. I open my eyes again and look at my left hand... No, it’s definitely not a hand! Long, maybe even an elegant limb, covered with black fur, and at the end there’s slightly rumpled and scratched silver... What’s the name for it? Looks like a part of some armor. God damn it, I’m forgetting like a low scorer on an exam! If it’s not a hand, then it’s a leg, and it's a shoe on it! Am I really a pony? Fantastic... Wait, stop. A bad feeling is looming In the corner of my mind. Something looks suspicious, I can feel it... What? Black, velvety looking, fur? I think not, not this... A leg? A leg instead of a hand - it's like... but no, this is not the issue either... To be precise, not the leg itself! It’s tall, almost until the knee, silver, slightly shabby. And I saw things like that were worn in the cartoon by... I tear my dry tongue off the palate, lead it through my teeth - travelling over really big fangs, not fit for a pony. Even for human beings these are too untypical! Especially when you find that there are eight on up and down of the jaw! The longest ones, three or four centimeters long, were by the edges of an unusually square jaw, and they were slightly curved inwards, slim and sharp. Considering all this, my body, and the situation around... Did I panic when I didn’t know who I was? Well, it seems, that now I do. Fucking hell... 2. The Separated HouseSo where did I start? With the question “Who am I?” Well, there's an answer now. I’m an alicorn mare, the name's Nightmare Moon. Occupation: villain, tyrant, usurper. And I’m about to get fired for service inconsistency with a one-way ticket right to the Moon, for about a thousand years. I shudder. A man starts going nuts after between one and a half or two months of complete loneliness. If I find myself on the Moon - then in a year nothing will be left of me. I don't want it! Just not like this! Even dying would be better than watching as your mind fades away, fully aware of your powerlessness... How has Nightmare handled it? A chill runs down my spine when I suddenly realize: she hasn't - otherwise I wouldn't be here. What has happened to her? Suddenly I feel dizzy, everything around fades to darkness and a waterfall of alien memories falls upon me, from which my overloaded mind chaotically manages to pull some fragments... ...Night. The Moon is bright, and there are countless stars in the sky. I stand on the balcony and look at the sleeping city. There are no lights in the windows, the streets are empty. There are no stargazing couples, nor there are any patrolling guards, not even drunk revelers, making their way home from the tavern. Again, I look at the sky. What am I doing wrong? So much labor invested into these beautiful constellations, but no one is looking at them. Perhaps, I haven't thought of everything and the night isn't beautiful enough? No, it probably isn't. Maybe add something to the Moon and stars? Yet I am still hurt: there is a mistake somewhere, no one doesn't like my night again. I’m unable to hold back a sigh... ...Yes! That’s exactly what was needed! What a beauty it has turned out to be! A large area in the night sky is now occupied by a picturesque nebula, like a starry cloud. Well, it was pretty challenging to create! I am surprised to understand that I am tired and feel sleepy. At night! I lay my sight on the fantastic-looking nebula. No, it was worth it, for sure. Everypony will like this night! I can afford some rest after this. I smile... ...I come for brunch, for once not tired after a sleepless night; I am fresh and well rested. My soul is singing. “Hello, sister!” “Greetings, Luna. It has been a while since I saw you in such a great mood.” “Tia, have you seen my night? You probably stayed pretty late with the documents? Or at dawn, before raising the Sun? Tell me, was it great? Did you like it?” I can't hold my emotions and keep tossing questions to my sister. “Night? Sorry, Luna, I’m afraid I did not pay proper attention as I had too much work lately...” Tia smiles guiltily. “I... I understand.” My good mood melts in an instant. “So be it; I shall repeat it today. Promise me that you will look tonight, okay?” “Okay, Luna, I promise.” My sister smiles again, encouragingly this time. My melting mood rises a bit again... ...Bitterness, resentment, anger. “Sister, you have promised!” “I’m sorry that it has turned out this way. My royal duties required my attention and...” “You just don't need me!” An accusation flies out of my mouth by itself. How many times have I heard such excuses for a variety of reasons? “Princess Luna! Stop that tantrum of yours and keep calm! What do you think you're doing?” It's not my sister in front of me, it's Her Highness Queen Celestia of Equestria. Heavy, apathetic eyes, a smooth expression on her face - only her nostrils are flaring with anger. She is not sorry! She just doesn’t care. I blink away the unwanted tears. “As you wish, your Highness.” My voice trembles. “May I leave to my quarters?” “You may go, Princess.” ...The damned tears just won't go away! I look in the mirror in front of me with pure hate. “Why is she doing that? Why is some dinner with those arrogant, small-minded nobles more important to her than her own sister?” I ask the empty room. “Because I’m not her sister, I am Princess Luna of Equestria!” I reply to myself. “I must carry out my duties and... what does she say? “Don’t let personal feelings interfere with the cause” I diligently mock Celestia. I hear a knock on the door, and before I can do anything, a pegasus messenger appears in the doorway. Didn't even wait for permission to enter, such a brute. “Your Majesty! Her Highness Queen Celestia would like...” I hear slight disregard as he says ‘Your Majesty’. "GET OUT OF HERE!!” A shockwave of the Royal Canterlot Voice launches the Queen's messenger away. I slam the door shut with telekinesis and block it with an arcane shield. “I don't give a buck what this royal nag wants! Let her go to windigos with her "likes"!” I don't know if I’m happy or sad that the last phrases won't leave this room due to the barrier. I non aristocratically flop down on the pillows in front of the mirror. My mind is empty and cold. ...It’s evening. Soon I will have to raise the Moon. I’m currently strolling around the roads of Canterlot, escorted by a couple of guards. Where to? Wherever the road will take me. The castle, the one we had created with my sister, doesn't feel like “home” anymore. Recently familiar walls are closing in on me now. Even the garden doesn't bring me the peace I have always had here. I don't know why my wings brought me to the capital, searching for inner peace. It's unlikely to be found, especially here. I hardly notice the passersby, that are bowing to me. They greet me: “Your Majesty!” They give short, brief nods - it’s all within etiquette, but no more than that. No excitement or respect: just because it's supposed to be like this. “Unlike my sister!” A sad thought appears. Meanwhile, I have arrived at a place unfamiliar to me: I’m somewhere away from the main streets. I hear some foals playing nearby. “Red! Brick! Come home!” A mare calls, probably them. “But mom!” Two disappointed, childish voices respond. “It's gonna get dark soon! You’ll finish tomorrow. Hurry up, dinner is ready!” “Oh. Let's go? Otherwise, mom will be sad.” Says one of the foals, a filly. “Let's go, Red.” Answers the colt. “Why do we even need this night? I’m not even tired yet!” “Yeah.” The filly sighs. “We could play some more if there was no night...” The sound of my teeth grinding fills my ears... *** I made up with Celestia after that incident. Well, kind of... all the necessary words were said and accepted, but some kind of alienation is still left between us, like a giant crack. I felt as if this crack would only grow later. “Tia?” I ask as I put away another folder with documents. “Hm?” She looks away from the papers. “Why does nopony like my night? Why does everypony like your day, your Sun, but they don’t care about what I do?” “Again, Luna?” Celestia rolls her eyes, sighing. “You are overreacting! Your nights allow our subjects to have some rest and get strength for the next day, they are very important!” “And that’s why you didn't come that night, because they are very important.” I quietly grumble. “I said I’m sorry!” How did she hear me? “Also, did we distract ourselves? Then we have got enough rest! Let's continue the work; the documents won't sign themselves!” “Tia...” “Luna! We can talk about stuff later! Ok, back to work.” The Queen cuts me off. About stuff? All I do for her is stuff! For her and everypony else! As if I’m something unimportant... sighing, I pull the folder towards myself. The letters are blurry for some reason... *** ...Pillows and the mirror, again. “I am the unwanted one here.” My voice lacks any emotion. Just a statement of a fact. After realising that, should I disappear without a trace, only Celestia would notice... after a couple of days. “No, my sister needs me, Equestria needs me! I raise the Moon, help Tia sort the documents, conduct meetings and ceremonies, hear some cases in court...” “But nopony wants my Moon and my nights, and the Queen can easily conduct ceremonies without my help. She would find some pretty secretaries, and that's it.” “But she can't trust them, as she trusts me!” “Yeah, as if she trusts me! If it's papers, then she will give me some official program for the minor royal reception, taking the budget herself, and if I offer any help, she would send me away to work on the law about proper care for pigs - or something similar in terms of importance! If it's litigation, she would give me the dispute about a meter of fence, but a case about murder she would take herself! It's everything, but trust!” I angrily say to the mirror. I stop upon realizing, that I was sitting and talking to myself out loud. Maybe, it should have caused me concern about my own well-being, but for some reason I only have a bitter smile on my face. “Is it nice to talk to a smart pony, Luna? The one that understands you,” I quietly laugh. Am I going insane? For some reason this thought makes me slightly annoyed... *** ...I stand on the balcony, looking at the sunset. I need to raise the Moon, decorate the sky with constellations, star clusters... I don't want to... If somepony needs it, then he ought to do it! If nopony needs it, neither do I! I’m sick of it! I’m fed up! “Luna, good evening.” Says my sister. How long has it been since we talked about anything with a cup of tea? “Evening, Tia. Not sure about the good part.” I hear a sigh behind my back. “Moping about again?” Celestia asks with a slight reproach. “Is there a reason to be happy?” I hum sadly in response. “I don't see it.” “How about raising the Moon and night? Isn't that a reason? You always liked your nights.” I don’t even need to look at my sister to know she’s smiling. “Nopony needs them, except for me.” I hear a sigh again, this time an ostentatiously deep one. I bet you everything that she followed up with a facehoof. “I’m tired, Tia. Even from the beautiful, but useless nights. I won't raise the Moon, and create stars tonight. I bet that nobody will notice the bottomless inky darkness above their head.” In an uncomfortable silence that hangs for a few seconds, I hear a fly hitting a window. “Princess Luna, let me remind you that you, as the Princess of the Night have a duty to our country and our subjects! And you must do your duty properly, despite your feelings! The same way, as We, Queen Celestia, do ours!” I feel how the Queen is furiously looking at me even with my back turned. She doesn’t care what I feel and what is happening to me. She doesn't understand me. I hate her, this soulless Queen that I see instead of my sister. I close my eyes, finding my link with the Moon, and dump energy into it, practically yanking the Moon onto the sky. “Happy now? I’m going to bed.” I angrily spit out my words to the Queen and making a sharp turn, almost running away from the balcony, barely fighting the urge to push the surprised Celestia out of my way... *** ...Pillows, mirror. I start talking to myself again. “If nopony likes your nights, then you must make them! Let the night last forever! And then they will see...” “No, you can’t just force anypony to like it!” “Just a few did notice the beauty of night! The rest don't even know what they are losing! You work hard, and what do you get? Indifference, disregard and even disdain! It can't go on like this!” “This is not what my folk would want! Not what Equestria needs! And my sister...” “Is there much left of your sister in this embodiment of arrogance, Luna? Maybe you need a sister, but she doesn't! Do your duty, Princess! - this is all she needs!” I shockingly inspect my reflection in the mirror. I want to object, but I can't. Where did my caring older sister Tia go? The one that loved me and helped me? Yes, I behaved like a resentful foal today! But that, to my shame, happened before too. And Tia would come and hug me, asking, ‘What's the matter?’ and would cheer her silly little sister up. She has changed a lot lately, and not for the better. “Neither have I.” I hum sadly into the mirror. “I’m complaining more than usual. Tia has enough problems already, so she loses her temper.” “And you are the target. Not the servants or guards, not the annoying aristocracy, but her own sister!” “We are not alien to each other; she hopes that I will understand her and...” I try to reassure myself. An involuntary hysterical sigh shows that I am bad at it... *** ...I burst into Celestia's cabinet. “Sister, we need to talk. Now!” “What is it, Luna?” Tia replies discontentedly. It looks like she has an idea what I’m about to ask, and she doesn't want to have that conversation. “Would you kindly explain why all my batpony guards disappeared, and why there are your royal guards instead of them? “It's... complicated, Luna,” Celestia winced. “Two ponies have disappeared this week and city guards still can't find any clues...” “And? What has it to do with my guards?!” “Luna, let me finish! You are well aware of what ponies think about your creatures! Yesterday I was visited by a delegation of aristocrats and other residents: they are suspicious that it might have been...” “My guards? It's complete and utter nonsense!!! And you know it!” Celestia looked at me, displeased. I stare back at her. She can't believe this absurdity! “Ponies are afraid of your batponies. I have had to temporarily remove them from the castle until the situation is investigated just to keep the city calm! Sister, I promise, as soon as everything has returned to normal, I will immediately order your guards back.” “Tia! You know how batponies treat me! They would never do anything without my order! Or do you trust the aristocracy more than me?” Rage clouds my mind. I almost growl at my sister. Celestia must be feeling sorry since she hasn't snapped to her favorite commanding voice yet. “Do you trust me, at least a bit?” I don’t know what answer I am expecting and if I even want to hear it. I'm about to take my words back, but Tia replies faster. “I do, Luna.” She smiles timidly. Hypocritical lies. The rage instantly dissipates, allowing for melancholic indifference to take place. It would have been better if she stayed silent, rather than answering like that... Or barked at me with her favorite: “Princess Luna, your demeanor...” “So, you trust me....” My voice sounds quiet and colorless. “That's why I find out about this not from you in advance, but after the fact, from some random guard. Fine, I won't disturb your work.” I leave in silence, carefully closing the door behind me. My soul is cold and empty... *** ...Shore of a lake. It’s night, quiet and deserted. I look at the reflection. The teal eyes with vertical pupils are looking at me. Turns out, hate might be a very powerful source of energy. I smile at my reflection: the reflection bares its fangs in response. This look matches my mood perfectly... The meeting with the captain of the Night Guard went successfully. However, it couldn't be otherwise: my guards are even ready to tear a dragon with their teeth for me. At least someone still believes in me. It’s them - my folk! Them, not the ponies of Equestria, the ones that don't need me, my night or my batponies! It's the first time I think that there is some rationality in Nightmare's idea to overthrow Celestia and become the Queen of Equestria myself. This way I can take care of anypony who still cares about me, become somepony really needed and important. And the batponies, who don't like the Sun, will love the endless night... *** ...Again, I am sitting in front of the mirror. “The captain assured me of the devotion of the Night Guard personally. But I am still unsure whether I want to use this devotion. Especially the way you suggest.” “Do you see a better option?” With these words my reflection in the mirror changes, and now teal eyes with vertical pupils are looking at me. This is not the first time I see this transformation, but it still creeps me out. “We have already discussed it, more than once.” “No, I don't.” I grimly confess. “But I still think, that overthrowing my sister, and taking her place is wrong. Even if we don't understand each other anymore...” “Sister, that doesn't get sick of spitting in your heart! Yesterday she secretly disbanded your Night Guards just because the nobles wanted her to, today she'll proscribe the batpony presence in the cities, and tomorrow, she will expel you, because the aristocracy would say that you are dangerous, unreliable and simply useless, so leaving you in the castle...” “You are overreacting, Nightmare! Celestia would never do that!” “Until recently you have thought she wouldn't deceive you. Now what, Luna?” I don’t know what now. My world, it used to be perfect a few months ago. Now it's being torn apart, like a piece of paper. Something is happening with both of us: my beloved sister Tia is turning into an arrogant Her Highness Celestia, and I... I find comfort and understanding in the company of a reflection in the mirror. I have even named it. And the further it goes, the more I think it's not just a reflection. I smile sadly. “I am you. We are parts of a whole, Luna.” Nightmare replies. It looks like I spoke the last part out loud. And, it seems like I completely went insane, if a mirror replies to me... *** It’s morning, and I’m having breakfast with Celestia. We haven't met each other at breakfast for some time, I prefer to be alone, in my quarters, but the Queen wanted to see me, she even sent a formal invitation. I wanted to write her a formal decline on six sheets of paper, but I didn't have time. Well, have to attend. “Luna, what is happening to you lately? I don't recognize you.” And I - don't recognize you, Tia. I’m bitter from the fact, that a fleeting thought about a growing crack between us was a prophecy. “And what is happening to me? Don't I manage my Princess duties?” Maybe, it's not the best idea to talk like that, but I don't want to restrain myself. My wish to flee the castle has been very strong lately. I’m sick of this place. But I will be found, and Celestia will take her time to explain my responsibilities, duties, then assign twenty pegasi as “Guards of honor” that will follow me even in the dining room, and think: Why was I assigned to babysit this hysteric fool? “This is what is happening!” She pointed an accusing hoof at me. “You are withdrawn, spiteful, and avoiding me.” It looks like Celestia really doesn't understand what is happening! Great. Yesterday she said: It's not a proper reason to be sad, stop thinking about such insignificant things! And today she doesn't understand a thing! I will try. Again. For the last time! “You don't understand me, Tia. I have tried to explain, but you don't care about my problems. Nobody needs neither my night, nor my work with insignificant papers. Even I am not needed! You don't trust me, my guards...” I stop upon Celestia's gaze. She isn't sorry or understanding, I only see disappointment and irritation. “Would you kindly, stop pretending that you are the only one who has it hard!” Celestia angrily says. “Do you think it's easy for me? But I don't whine and complain, I go and do my duty, as should you! The results of my work sometimes feel useless too, but it doesn't mean that's true!” An awkward pause hangs for a few seconds. “I'd love to have your imaginary problems, Princess Luna. Grow up, for goddess's sake.” The Queen abruptly gets up, and leaves the room. My gaze follows her, in oppressive silence. Imaginary problems! Her words ring like an alarm bell inside my head. She doesn’t need a sister; she needs Princess Luna - I remember Nightmare’s words. *** ...Familiar lake, and it’s night. A mighty batpony stands before me, wearing the Night Guard armor. Dark yellow, almost orange eyes with vertical slits look at me. “Are your warriors ready, captain?” “Yes, Your Majesty. Unfortunately, we are few in numbers: we could only gather 57 soldiers with the little time we had. If we had at least one more week, we could have got more than 130...” “We don't have that much time, Our loyal captain. We’ll have to strike with the amount we have at hoof. Celestia's guard may outnumber us, but by early morning the majority of her guards would be in the barracks. We, The Princess of the Night, will cast a spell to induce sleep, so that Our Night Guard has enough time to carry out its mission. The mission of our Night guard lies in assuring that Celestia's guards can't come to rescue her and intervene in our battle!” “We won't let you down, Your Majesty!” The captain’s eyes recklessly flashed in the dark. My batponies and the Queen's guard didn't get along from the start, which is unsurprising, considering the fact nopony trusts us. And after what happened, it can be expected, that my ponies would want to get even with Celestia's guards. “What will be the signal to attack?” “Look at the sky, Captain. You won’t mistake it with anything else.” My lips are stretching into a sinister, but sincere smile. “Are there any other orders, Your Majesty?” “There is one. You know well, how small and young Our batpony tribe is. Don't risk your lives without need.” “I... We... Yes, Your Majesty!” The captain bows... *** ...It's ready. Breastplate, heavy, armored hoofplates, and a helmet. My glaive floats nearby. I look into the mirror: the armor is polished and sits perfectly. Sometime ago, I think, I was checking my equipment before the battle with Sombra the same way. But that time my sister stood with me... and now she is against me. How could we have come to this? Why? “It’s not too late to stop” I whisper to my reflection. “It's not, but what will it give you?” The reflection rapidly changes, acquiring predatorial traits of Nightmare Moon. “Your sister doesn't need you anymore. And Equestria has never even cared about you! This can't go on, Luna. Today we have our chance to change it!” “To change it... but will it be for the better?” Now, when there’s only a single step left, I am torn apart by doubts. “If it can't get worse, then why care? If you retreat now, you will never forgive your weakness. You would carry on your pathetic existence of a toy-like princess and cry into the pillow every night, understanding, that you could have changed something, but you haven't! Is that what you want?!” “No, Nightmare, it isn’t. But I am afraid to make a mistake. What if Celestia was right? What if I am the reason for all of this?” Uncertainty, fear of the future. Why is it so hard? “Do you want to tolerate attacks from the arrogant Queen, that used to be your sister? Go on! And you will be the first to see her completely turn into a tyrant like Sombra.” I shiver. It’s as if Nightmare Moon saw my worst dream... I am afraid of what my sister Tia is turning into. How far could it go? My only hope is that her defeat will reduce her feeling of self-importance. And Nightmare is right: if I don't do anything, then everything will go to that finale. I won't forgive myself for my weakness and hesitancy. I discard my doubts. The reflection in the mirror flashes its eyes in approval. *** …The Castle of the Royal Pony Sisters. It’s where it all started, so it’s only fitting that this place should be where it ends. It has always been something special for me and my sister: we were looking for a place together, designed it, built it... Debated about schemes of secret passages, cussed, made up, and finally, found compromises... Despite its status of a summer residence and remoteness from big cities, I considered it my home. But now... Anyway, everything will change today, and soon I could call this place home again. This is where I will rule Equestria from after my victory. I never liked Canterlot. Also today is the day of Summer Sun Celebration, the Queen's favorite, and the longest day of the year. “How symbolic.” I chuckle It's time to bring the Moon down. I pour the energy in my connection to the astronomical body, and witness as it slowly creeps under the horizon. The stars go out as the sky brightens. And now let's start! I concentrate on the spell and direct it towards the guard barracks in the castle. Well, I have just ruined Celestia's guard achievements list with a massive absence on their posts. “At least they will get some proper sleep now.” I laugh at my own joke. The only ones that are left are the patrols and the guards in the dungeon and the central buildings of the castle. But it's not that much, and after a sleepless night they won't be able to give any proper retaliation. Celestia hasn't changed her habits; she raises the Sun slowly, in her pretentious pose on a huge balcony of the tallest tower of the castle, despite the fact there is no crowd watching her - only a few maids and the inhabitants of nearby villages. I make it in time. The Queen bathes in the Sun with her eyes closed. I quietly stop behind her back, leaving my glaive aside: maybe there is a possibility of a peaceful conclusion. I don’t believe that is real, but the faint hope makes me try. For a few moments, squinting, I look at the dawn. Stop wasting time! I concentrate on my connection with the Moon, and bring it onto the sky. Celestia, feeling that the Sun is going in the shadow, opens her eyes, shocked, and stares at the majestic sight of an eclipse. I too, enthusiastically look at my hoofwork: the black disk of the Moon, surrounded by the shining crown of the Sun attracts the sight. How could one not like this picture? This beauty, this night must go forever! Celestia turns back with a lost expression on her face, and flinches when she notices me. “Good morning, Sister.” My voice is low. Now, it all depends on her and her reaction. “Luna?! You... But... Why are you... What is happening?” “What does it look like, Tia?” I grimly smile. A faint hope is shining inside of me, a hope that my older sister would come, hug me with her wing, ask what has happened, closely listen, propose a solution, that would please both of us... a hope that everything would turn back to normal! One look is enough to understand: no, it won't turn back to normal. Again, I see not the loved and loving older sister, but cold, haughty and indifferent Queen. Her raging gaze says: ‘She dares to oppose ME?!’ Her brows are shifted, with her eyes squinted, and her words are sharp and short. I don't listen to what she says, it is easy to infer anyway, and why would I even care? I look my sister in the eyes, searching for at least a tinge of her concern, compassion, involvement! I look and don’t find it. The Queen ends her angry speech and now drills me with her disgusted sight, as if asking: do you have anything to say in your defense, Princess Luna? “Where are you, sister? I miss you...” I bitterly say. Celestia flinches. A hope is alight, that not everything is lost, that Tia is still alive in this pile of ice... “Princess Luna! It's weird to mention your kinship considering the situation at hoof, don’t you think?” The Queen menacingly spits. The hope burns out and falls as black ash on my heart. As if the soul itself is dissipating with these words, leaving this black ash and ice-cold emptiness. It's over. There is no sister. There is only this pathetic, grotesque parody that looks like Tia. And I will scatter the ashes of this imitation! I will tear it apart! Incinerate it! DESTROY IT! Instead of hope, now hate is alight with a crimson flame inside of me. I feel how might is spreading through my veins. This feeling is euphoric, it forces an insane grin to appear on my face. The Queen's accusatory speech breaks off, and when I open my eyes, I see fear on her face. I see my reflection in the windows - coal-black fur, glowing turquoise eyes with a vertical slit, fangs bared in a creepy grin. I am Nightmare Moon; I will take what is mine! I grab my glaive with telekinesis. “You no longer need to sacrifice for your people. You no longer need to bear the weight of your crown. I've taken care of everything!” A low, doubling voice suits me. I slowly approach Celestia. “What is this, what are you doing, Luna?” Celestia says with a panicking voice, while retreating to the second exit. What, are you afraid now, Your Highness? There is less pride in her voice, she doesn't feel like screaming at Luna, huh? “Succeeding you, sister!” I practically spit the last word. There is no more sister, this is a mere imitation, but not her. And this is why I will drown her in her own blood! Celestia manages to get ahold of herself at the last moment and dodge the strike. Just a little piece of mane stays on the floor. The Queen, understanding that I am a better flyer than her, starts fleeing inside the castle. I follow. The silver shoes rumble on the stone floor, my trusty weapon floats nearby. This is the first time this year I feel confident and calm. My victory is close. Soon everypony will see my might! The beauty of my night! They will look at me with the same adoration, that they lavished Celestia with! Yes, the Queen is weak; she is trying to run away from me. But she won't hide from her fate, I know this castle as well as she does - she won't hide. Sooner or later, she will be cornered, and will have to fight. And she won't win... *** ...Lightning strikes the Queen's magic shield and I momentarily dash to close the distance, while she is unable to see through the ripples of her own barrier. The blade, filled with my energy, pierces Celestia's shield, meeting almost no resistance. “Meet your death, Queen!” I say as short, evil laughter leaves my mouth. She won't be able to dodge, and the ceremonial gold breastplate is no match for my weapon. THIS IS VICTORY! Before my eyes, for a moment, a surprisingly clear picture appears: my sister, laying in front of me, lifts her head and tries to say something, but only a scary rattle can be heard, followed by coughs. Blood emerges from her mouth, staining her white fur. She drops her head on the floor, stained with scarlet red. Her gazed eyes, look at me with reproach... NO! I manage to deflect the fatal strike at the last moment. Instead of piercing the torso of the white alicorn, the glaive's blade leaves a deep cut on Celestia's right shoulder. The enemy screams as she falls on her wounded leg. The red blood on her white fur looks unreal. “Luna...” I hear a whisper as I meet Celestia's gaze. In her tearful eyes, I see my own glowing turquoise merciless draconic eyes. I avert my gaze. I almost killed her! My sister! "Meet your death, Queen!" A sense of triumph and spiteful jubilation. What have I become? ‘The thing she has made of you!’ The voice in my head says. Maybe it is so. But I can't kill her, because there, inside her soul, my sister Tia still could be alive! I can't kill this monster, paying the price of her life. I raise my eyes again to look upon Celestia. “Luna, why?!” “The time for words is over, Queen!” I heavily say in response. “Because Luna's words were an empty vibration of the air! And I am not Luna anymore! My name is Nightmare Moon! Concede while you can, Your Highness, don’t make me take extreme measures!” With my glaive ready I approach my barely standing enemy. One more step... And Celestia's horn glows with energy, I create a shield to block her attack, but instead she disappears in a flash of teleportation. She couldn’t have gone far, she must be somewhere around here! Behind me! Instantly I turn around, and I see how Queen jumps out of the window, crushing the stained glass with her body. WHERE ARE YOU GOING?! You won't flee! I rush to the window with a furious growl... *** ...The Elements of Harmony spin around Celestia. “Luna, please, stop! I am guilty! Forgive me! Just stop, please...” “Enough of your lies, Queen! You don't care and never did about Luna! You don't ask for forgiveness; you are just trying to save your life and crown!” An evil grin appears on my face. She is so pathetic, this empty husk, the one that used to be my favorite older sister, used to be my Tia. HATE YOU! My energy fills the glaive's blade, making it shine with turquoise light. “Luna, don't do it, you are nothing like it, sister! Don’t make me use the elements!” “I am like YOU created me, sister! And the Elements not just yours, but mine too! Or you really think they will allow one keeper to use it against the other? How ludicrous!” I charge, preparing to strike... *** ...Unthinkable! Incomprehensible! Impossible! HOW?! How Queen could distort the Elements of Harmony, so they not only would work in this monster's hooves, but also harm me, their keeper! Through the bright streams of magic, I see crying Celestia. “I am sorry, Luna! Forgive me! I-I...” I am being mercilessly pulled towards the Moon, which still covers the Sun. It's a defeat, but this is not the end, Queen! When I return, you will pay for everything! FOR EVERYTHING!!! “I HATE YOU!!!” Everything gets dark... 3. A Second ChanceThere’s this feeling I have. It’s like I somehow got into a water tunnel, and am drowning, being carried away by this stream somewhere in depth. I’m concentrating, trying to force thoughts out of my head, abruptly shaking it, trying to get out of this flood of thought forms. I feel a sharp pain in my forehead and temples as a force of will finally gave a result, allowing me to emerge from someone else’s memories in reality. O-oh. That was... Something. Like I was there by myself. I won't even guess what could have happened to me if I had decided to watch further. I could have dissolved and become Nightmare Moon? I could change myself? I don't know. And what's more - these memories, strangely, had given me an understanding, that all around me is a reality, even if it's not native for me. Firstly, when I saw ponies, I had some brief thoughts, of course, that I somehow survived and now lie with a dropping tube in my vein, watching very colorful hallucinations, but after seeing the memories I couldn't take it as hallucinations. Everything was so... Natural. The sounds, the smells, the feelings, and, most importantly, the emotions. Luna's sadness and solitude, when she was left behind, indifference and annoyance of Celestia, who was overrun by her endless duty, Nightmare Moon's boiling hate to Queen... Nightmare Moon. What is she? Why and during which moment did she become a person? Did she recognize herself or was just Luna's reflection? Who are you, Nightmare Moon?... It seems that I should seek answers by myself in that stream of memories, where I almost drowned... However, I have to think about more urgent things. About ME asking myself “What to do next?” Try to contact and convince everyone in my own harmlessness? After all I’ve done? Yeah... If not that, then what? I’m, mildly speaking, not in a good condition, and there’s a savage forest around for many kilometers, being occupied by all kinds of rapacious beasts. Unless... I couldn't figure this out. One of the Element’s shouts forced me out of pondering. “Umm... Your Highness, well...” Very capaciously Applejack exposed the problem and waved a hoof in my direction. The piece of art “Unexpected“, oil on canvas, Ilya Repin. I got eight pairs of eyes looking at me, in which different colors of emotions are splashing, from fear and alertness to disbelief and even interest. The only emotion that was common for them all was - astonishment on the edge of shock. Yeah, no one expected to see Nightmare Moon after using the Elements of Harmony, especially with unhurt and undamaged Luna. And I, in turn, relied on the rising stone, that was hiding me from their eyes, and I never expected, that before their leave someone would look behind, to look into the hall from the exit, where this rising stone is useless in covering, and spotted me! However, if I trust Luna's memories, my “headlights” are very hard to miss in the darkness... And what I have to do right now? They will just shoot me down on the spot with their rainbow as a precaution! And Celestia with Luna will add some more! “Don't shoot me; I’m not evil!” What am I supposed to shout? Yeah, sure, they’ll trust me... WHAT TO DO, GOD DAMN IT?! It's still hard to think with my head, so when I demanded a quick solution, nothing more complicated than to stand up and to greet Princess was produced. I drew myself together and with a rush tried to stand up. And this rush was not without consequences for a mangled body. My whole right side and right hind leg were burning, as if in boiling oil. Because of the sudden and sharp pain, my breathing seized up, causing tears to flow out of my eyes, and I fell onto the floor with a moan. Oh, mother, help me! I was brokenly gasping for almost thickened air. No, the pain was a thing, but when I was calmly laying, it wasn't a big deal, but now... I’m not the one to know lots about the anatomy, especially inhuman ones, but a broken leg is something I can recognize. Apparently, the blow of concentrated friendship had thrown my body right back at the remains of the massive throne that stood on the very dais to my right. And the very throne was covering me with a shadow, in which no one saw my black body over the rising stone. This had given me some time to gather my thoughts and watch deeds that were already water under the bridge. Surprising, but it seems that this “film” passed very quickly. I try to inhale brokenly, watching the approaching ponies. A piece of a joyful song has emerged in my brain: “We will be through this trouble!” That would be good... I read some funny stories, something like a compilation of portal-travelers, that didn't have enough luck with the place or time. I was laughing. But now it’s not laughable at all! Painful and scary! Hectically trying to come up with something to do, what is better to say, but instead of this I got only one thought: “Now Celestia will command: ‘To the Moon!’. And because of the lack of choice, I’ll go and inhabit an empty and lifeless rock for another thousand years! I shudder again. What if she wouldn't hear me out? What if she is not so canonically good and she doesn't need some strangers? What if... I can't look away from approaching Celestia, who is walking with confidence, looking with concentration, cautiously and with a slight touch of surprise, her mane is fluttering on the invisible magic wind. Her horn is shining with light, breaking the surrounding penumbra and causing an unpleasant watering in my eyes. I start trying to creep away from her reflexively, but I couldn't stop in time. My troubled right hind leg groped a bulge in the floor and lightening pain stroke spine, sticking somewhere in my nape. I can't hold a moan; tears are running out of my eyes. However, it's not a big deal for me, since my now beaten body with a worn-out brain mercifully extinguishes my mind, and I fall into the darkness. *** Celestia came closer to the unconscious Nightmare Moon. It was very obvious, that she was almost obliterated. The fur with clouds of dust in it, the ragged blood-soaked skin on the right side, and the right hind leg, which was twisted at an unnatural angle. To finish the impression, her mane and tail lost their ability to be a piece of the night sky to soar in the air, and now lay everywhere on the floor like purple spikes. A sparkle of diagnostic spell went off towards Nightmare from Celestia's horn. “She passed out due to a hole in the ribs and a broken right hind leg.” Princess diagnosed as she turned to the others. “Princess Celestia!” But how is it possible? In the legend it was said, that Luna TURNED into Nightmare Moon! And now... And here...” Princess’ student was looking back and forth from the blue-darkened alicorn to the black one, without a single word in her mouth. “Hey, what are we gonna do with her?” Applejack asked perplexedly. All eyes locked on the Princess of the Sun, awaiting her decision. “I have to understand what to do now myself.” Thought Celestia dully. On the one hand, it's obvious that Nightmare Moon is dangerous: her power and skills were enough to roughly but repeat the "Exile" by which the Elements of Harmony sent the black alicorn to imprisonment on the Moon! She managed to send Celestia to the Sun! Yeah, The Mare in the Moon could do so for like five or seven years, her defense was not impenetrable, but the fact itself! On the other one, instead of a menacing and powerful master of magic, there now was lying a mangled, exhausted filly by Celestia's feet, she just felt sorry. Celestia was on a crossroad: the safety of the country and subjects demands extreme measures, but sending defeated Nightmare to the Moon... It was wrong. Rush for the ideals of Harmony for so many years, and just get rid of a defeated enemy in cold blood? “But what is right then?” Celestia was piercing the black alicorn with her eyes, like she was trying to find an answer in her. “Take a risk, leaving her untouched here, in Equestria? And by doing that, create a danger for my little ponies?" “But is there really a threat? What do I even know about Nightmare Moon?” Thought Princess suddenly for herself. The answer on this thought was simple and short - nothing. “Who is she, what she thinks, what she dreams about, why does she behave exactly like that?” Tia's sight swept over the Mare in the Moon. “No. I’m afraid that I don't have no authority to risk ponies’ lives just because of personal sympathy and interest.” “P-princess Celestia!” A silent, uncertain voice echoed in the silence of the hall, like a firework explosion. “Do not banish her! P-please. If it's possible, of course...” A yellow pegasus with a pink mane ended her speech with a voice, that was dying away, almost inaudible, and closing her eyes, she tried to shrink herself under the stunned and anxious glances of others. “My little pony!” Celestia stroked the pegasus, who has curled into a ball with her wing, while sadly smiling. Fluttershy mustered all her courage, cracked her eyes open and shyly looked at Princess. “The decision is not made yet. Why did you think, that I was going to banish her?” “Well, the way you were looking at her gave me a feeling...But she’s injured, she needs help, not banishment! If it's allowed, of course...” Fluttershy fell silent again. "Help... Help means giving a second chance. But... Really... This creature was a whole with my little Luna. If my sister deserves a second chance – why can’t Nightmare get one? Extreme measures are extreme because of the lack of other variants when the time comes. If she is hostile - I’ll do what I have to. If she is not, then...” “We will not banish Nightmare Moon, at least not until we're sure she's unconditionally hostile to us.“ “I hope you know what you're doing, sister.” Luna said with a plain tone, clearly unhappy with this conclusion. She wanted to add something more, but after looking at the keepers of Elements, changed her mind. “Once upon a time I thought, that my decisions can only be made of solely rationality and effectiveness.” Celestia looked at her younger sister descriptively. “And it turned out to be one of my worst mistakes. You know it more than anypony else, Luna.” The blue alicorn looked at her sister with a lost glance. For the Princess of the Sun, it seemed, that she wanted to argue, but couldn't gather the words for it. “Why is everypony so sad?” Pinkie's ringing voice broke the uncomfortable silence. “It all ended well! And when it’s well, you have to PARTY! Also, today we have a super-duper welcoming party in the honor of Princess Luna!” Pinkie started to excite others by jumping around. Celestia couldn't hold a smile on her face as she was looking at the pink pony of chaos. She was thankful for Pinkie's turn from the gloomy subject to something more positive. “EVERYPONY IS INVITED!!!” The earth pony with the curly mane looked hopefully at Celestia. “I’ll gladly join you, but a little bit later as I have to deliver Nightmare Moon to Canterlot and make sure that everything will be smooth...” The Princess of the Day said with a little bit of guilt. “Luna, you can rest and have fun without your strict sister behind your back!” Tia gave a wink to the Princess of the Night, who answered by smiling shyly. Celestia then said. “Thank you all, my little ponies! Do not lose me; I’ll accompany you soon. I’m sorry Pinkie Pie, because I'm unable to come at the start of the party.” “Don't sweat it, it's okay, all is good!” The Element of Laughter grinned from ear to ear. “I understand, duty! Very important duty! We will wait for you, Princess Celestia!” Her words were supported by the others. The magic of Princess wrapped herself and unconscious Nightmare for a moment, after this they both vanished in a golden spark. “Oops, almost forgot! We’ll have to do a party for the Black Snooty, when she’s alright!" Pinkie jumped and started to bounce to the exit, but after she didn't hear the others coming, she turned around. “Hey, what's wrong with you all?” She awkwardly asked her friends and Princess Luna, who were stunned. “But Pinkie! It's... It’s the Mare in the Moon! She...” The lavender unicorn was unable to finish her sentence. “She is a villain, who wanted to make endless night! She wanted the Sun to never rise again! She made lots of traps for us! And we were fighting with her!” The rainbow maned pegasus said. “And now you suggest to throw a party for her?!” “Twilight, Rainbow, calm yourself, please.” The party pony raised her hoof in a stopping gesture as she didn't want to hear the others’ complaints. “She has changed. She's changed greatly.” The pink pony ended with a very serious, not typical for her mood. “And now she will be very-very happy, when I’ll organize a party for her! But for now - a party in the honor of Princess Luna! Let’s go, we have to prepare a lot of things!” Pinkie swiftly returned to her common mood and started to sing something simple as she turned to exit and ran out of the hall with jumps. The others looked at each other perplexedly and followed her. 4. ConfessionAuthor's Note "Here’s a joyless chapter about the past, that wasn’t as good as the present..." Original author's note. 4. Confession Luna was interested in looking around the Canterlot castle, noticing how much has changed. A little earlier she already could see how the city changed since the time passed: A ‘big village’, that Canterlot had once been, has turned into a majestic capital over the millennium. Wide tiled streets, stone buildings with artsy finishing, crowds of citizens. Sadly, she couldn't see much from the carriage yesterday evening, but what she could was impressive. And now, while Celestia was giving assignments to her subordinates, that were shocked to see Luna, she was rediscovering the palace again. Yeah, now you couldn't call this stately building just a ‘castle’ anymore, nor a ‘fortress’, as it once was. The palace grew in size, and instead of boring gray stone walls there were all kinds of ornaments, and instead of the massive stumpy towers golden spires were now stretching into the sky. But, some of the rooms, despite the new design, were still recognizable. For example, this corridor that was leading, if she wasn't mistaken, to Celestia's office. Luna got distracted from examining the furnishings, and caught the end of her sister's conversation, by the looks of it, with her secretary. "...assign it to her. We already discussed this situation; I think she will be able to do it.” “As you wish, your Majesty.” “Also don't forget to prepare what I have asked for, and please don't disturb me unless there is a good reason! I want to spend my time with my sister.” Celestia smiled. Again, Luna was assured about how much her sister changed in the past centuries, and changed a lot. No Royal Canterlot Voice while talking to her subordinates, no harsh emotion on her face, not even a single honed, sharp order without any explanations. “And please don’t disturb me.” Luna smiled. And if you take yesterday’s celebration into a consideration... Sister participated in it with great enjoyment, even though it was a simple ponies' party, not an aristocracy’s one. Celestia had also asked Luna to stop trying to talk according to the etiquette, asking her to stop saying ‘Your Majesty’. And she asked to be softer while talking to the subjects... Tia being against strict rules of etiquette? Everything is so... unusual. “Are you okay, Luna?” Tia's voice interrupted Luna’s thoughts. The Night Princess was surprised to see that they were alone in the corridor; the escort guards and secretary have already disappeared. “I just sank into a reverie.” Luna smiled. “Everything has changed so much: Canterlot, the castle, and... you. Especially you.” The sisters entered into the Sun Princess’s bedroom, the one that was nearby her office. “You know, I was afraid that I would meet Queen Celestia...” Consumed by her thoughts and the conversation with her sister Luna didn't notice the new furnishing in the room, simply joining her sister on the bed. “I am sorry again, Luna. For this, and everything else. Even I didn't notice how I was changing.” The Day Princess started remembering the past. “The further it went, the more I was concerned only with Equestria's duties... or whatever I thought they were. And so it happened that a royal visit to some aristocrat, or a meeting with my subjects was more important for the country than a cup of tea with my sister. I tried to build a strong and stable country, with a system of governance working like a clock. So that everypony had their work, home, and there was no interracial hate and cruelty! And in the end it appeared I didn’t see further than my nose.” Celestia drooped. “Even though I called you ‘Princess’, I still thought about you as a sister. A little, silly sister that is still young and inexperienced for the real responsibilities. If I was to think about you as a Princess, my loyal associate and deputy, maybe I wouldn't have lost you for a thousand years...” Luna silently listened to her sister's confession, having mixed feelings. On one hoof she could feel her sorrow and remorse; she understood that Tia was sorry. But on the other hoof, she felt the anger that she thought she had left on the Moon. The anger at her sister, that didn't understand her. The anger at herself for succumbing to those feelings. The anger at Nightmare for fueling these feelings inside her... “You acted with benign motives! And I was led by jealousy and hate. I almost killed you back then, and you were just defending yourself! No, Tia, even if you are to blame - I am to blame even more,” Luna clenched her teeth, struggling with her anger. “Tell me, what happened next after my defeat?” The Night Princess changed the subject, when she noticed that her sister was about to object. “At first, when it all happened, I felt sorry for what I had done. Not for long.” She sighed. “Then I had to sort the mess after our battle and your exile: panic because of the eclipse and all kinds of mad ponies screaming about the end of the world, displeased aristocracy, saying that I wasn't careful to live with such a ‘monster’ in the same castle and that your plot could go worse, and external political problems on top of that. Of course, it's impossible to hide the fact a princess disappearing, and our neighbors had tried to not miss their chance, and use the newly formed instability in Equestria. We even had a small war with the griffons, or rather a border conflict that fortunately didn't grow into something bigger due to internal problems the griffons had. All the stability I tried to build for this long... It just fell apart like a house of cards in a few months. What do you think, whom had I started to blame for all of this?” Celestia smiled sadly and went silent. “Me, I suppose. Of course, everything was fine, and then everything went to Tartarus due to one jealous hysterical pony.” Luna finished with irony. “Don't say those things about yourself.” Celestia scolded. “If I wasn't ignorant, nothing would have happened!” She stopped Luna with a hoof. “Now, let's get back on topic... It was a rhetorical question, but you are right. You do remember, that I often couldn't afford a rest, and now, I had to also do your duties on top of that too. Alone, without your help, I had to figure out all the documents, raise and lower the Moon by myself... It was pretty exhausting by the way, and took a lot of time. I was lucky if I got as much as four hours of sleep those days. I got irritable pretty quick. Of course, I quickly found the guilty figure in this mess, and I sincerely hated you.” Celestia said with a lifeless, careless voice, but Luna saw tears in her eyes. She hugged Tia with her wing, getting a timid smile. “And I started a fanatical war with you.” She continued, having recollected her thoughts. Luna raised her brow. “I had declared you a rebel and traitor of the crown.” Celestia explained. “I stubbornly tried to find your followers, or simply sympathizers, and held loud courts against them. And finally, I maniacally started to erase you from history. There were no ‘Two Sisters’ anymore, no more Princess Luna...” Tia dropped her head. “And then I erased our Castle of the Royal Pony Sisters from all the documents and maps and abandoned it, completely moving to Canterlot. But even this isn't the worst thing I did back then. Did I mention the pogroms?” She asked with a lifeless voice. Luna shook her head. A pause formed again, in the bedroom that had its bright decor contrasting with a heavy atmosphere of the dialog. Celestia couldn't say a word, trying to continue her story. She was afraid to. “Don’t continue. I see how hard it is for you Tia. Don’t push yourself!” Luna quietly said. She had never seen her optimistic sister so depressed. “No, Luna. I must!” Celestia finally said something. The white alicorn was tense, and her tear-filled eyes showed the determination to finish. “Even if you exile me to the Sun, or... or kill me for what I have done... I will tell you everything. You have to know!” “What are you saying?!” Luna looked at her sister in shock. “Do you really think... I would never!” The Princess of the Night was speechless with shock. But Celestia's voice stopped her sister's speech. “The information about your supporters in the battle against me was a secret at first, and I tried to stop it from spreading. But then when I ‘finally realized’ who was to blame.” She grimly smiled. “I tried to make sure that everypony knew.” Luna froze. Did they really? “I see you understand now. It was the batponies.” The Lunar Princess shivered when Celestia confirmed her worst fears. “Making this information public, I made everypony rebel against the batponies. The attitude towards them already was sort of hostile, and after the news about your Night Guard consisting of batponies supporting the revolution... I could say that everything went on fire. I won't go into great detail about what was happening back then, just simple statistics... But we know for sure that about sixty-three batponies were slain and more than ninety were wounded as a result of pogroms. How many of those who were forced to run away from the angry crowds, leaving everything behind, or died from hunger, exposure, wounds, or predators is unknown for sure. According to various sources, from three to four and a half hundred.” Celestia said, voice full of sadness. “It's... It's... In the worst case... Almost every tenth...” Deafened by the confession Luna watched her sister who was continuing her monologue. “The surviving batponies and a few sympathizers ran away into the mountains and organized into an enclave, led by your captain. I was happy that all the ‘traitors and rebels’ had gathered in a single place, and I was about to end them with a single strike, but they were saved by the consequences of the massacres. Unexpectedly it had struck a pretty heavy blow on the shaky unity of our ponies. When batponies were out of reach, the earth ponies, pegasi and unicorns started killing each other. It's not a massacre level of killing, but still, the stability of the country disappeared. Having tasted the blood and the impunity - guards did not stop the massacres - many couldn’t stop anymore.” She averted her lost gaze into the window. “Again, there were racial hate and discrimination, high crime levels, as it turned out thanks to aristocracy. In response I started tightening the laws, sending armed patrols, and filled the dungeons. And finally, the griffons again, having their emperor changed half a year prior, their leader had thought that he could reinforce his power with a fast and victorious war seeing all the problems Equestria had. And the further it went, the more I started preferring simple solutions to the right ones.” Celestia sighed. “I didn’t even try to send envoys to the griffons, trying to sort out things as I used to do, but I simply led my army to their borders. And when we met them, I just drowned their vanguard in fire. I spun above the ground leaving a trail from my fiery mane, listening to the shrill screams of griffons burned alive.” Luna flinched at the thought. “And then, seeing my own soldiers flee from me, for the first time I thought about what I did and what I had become.” Celestia took a pause to breathe. Luna couldn't, didn't want to believe her words. But somewhere, in the bottom of her soul she knew that sister was telling her the truth. And she didn't know or understand what to do with this grim truth. The Princess just listened. “This war had ended without ever starting in earnest, as my demonstration was too convincing. The crime was fought with harsh laws and death sentences for the most odious of the regular outlaws as well as their noble ringleaders. The riot led by the nobles and their followers against such laws was brutally suppressed, with seventeen death sentences and sixty new prisoners and exiles. I had managed to save the country and the crown... But I started noticing the details that I ignored a few months back, before the battle with the griffons: my subjects didn't approach me with their problems, and I saw fear in their eyes, not love! The castle's corridors became silent and empty: the few I met tried to be invisible and not breath when I approached, freezing in fear as soon I would notice them. My guards started to leave their posts, despite all the fines and reprimands, just to avoid me. I was avoided; everypony feared and hated me! I... I had turned into a monster!” She couldn't hold any longer, Celestia sobbed, burying her face into a pillow. Luna silently looked at her sister, not knowing what to do. “Sister, how... how did you...Did you really spill that much blood because of your revenge?” The Night Princess tensely looked at her sister's shivering wings, her faded mane, and was struck by a sudden thought. "And what would have happened if I had won that day? It would be exactly the same! Eternal night, reprisals against the dissatisfied, hunt for Celestia's followers... I was led by hatred back then; it couldn’t have led to anything good! And her hatred grew because of my mistake in the first place! Do I have any right to blame her, if her mistakes are caused by mine?" Luna slowly turned her head and looked at her sister. I have let her down! With my deeds I had turned her into a tyrant! She went through all of this just because of me... Hesitating for a second, the Night Princess hugged her sister with her wings. Tensing from the initial touch for a moment, Tia relaxed, deflating like a balloon, and was now crying softly into Luna’s wings. “Everything is going to be okay...” Luna said with some difficulty, and couldn’t hold her tears back. 5. A Glance Into The AbyssI have simple questions with an annoying rate lately, on which I haven't got answers. Yesterday it was “Who am I?”, today it's “Where am I?” An unknown room, where I have awoken, reminds a lavish and kind of pompously formed bedroom: a high ceiling with ornate luster, paintings on walls, huge windows with heavy drapes, surely not cheap furniture and vast, in my opinion, for like five or six persons bed, on which I, actually, rest. By the scenery conclusion suggests itself - I’m, allegedly, in Celestia's palace. There’s no another obvious theory, so the first one would be the current hypothesis. Feelings... I lie on the left side that is not injured. Softly, warmly, widely - head, against tradition, do not lean against the back of the bed, legs don't hang from the edge. Injured side and legs are keeping me in touch about them by unpleasant aching pain, but surprisingly, not a very painful one. The side is not aching when I inhale, but there’s no desire to move the leg, don't want to hurt it - it’s almost normal, let it be like this. Hunger and thirst, surprisingly, are not being felt by me, albeit the body is not fed minimum since yesterday. Feeling sluggish - it’s like I slept well, but I’m still dead and curved. There’s no even a slightest wish to get up, to do something, to go somewhere. “To get up”, ha... Where must I get up to now? Something tells me, that I don't have job anymore - who needs dead employees now? I got sacked for sure. A dead body rots as does the collective... They don't appreciate me, can you understand?! Yeah, not funny at all somehow... Yesterday there was no time to think about what's happening around me, and now, in silence and rest, thoughts are not waiting to show themselves. The moment of my own death has not stored in memory, I can remember only the wave of heat and my last thought: “A bright finale, isn't...” What was it? A fire? An explosion? God damn, does it even matter now?! I got everything left behind me, everything, that was important and dear. Friends, parents - I don't even remember their names now! For example: I remember how we got in a car crash with my friend, and after making sure that all the formalities are done, we were on the move again, but it was crawling with a destroyed car without headlights back in town, during evening. We were discussing what had happened, talking about something to boost the mood... And that's all. Not the friend’s face, nor name, nor the talk itself - I remember absolutely nothing! This is bullshit, how is it possible? All my life left there... Where is nothing left of me. That’s all. I swallowed a lump in my throat with an effort. The chills gone down the spine because of the realization, that the life back there is over, and there’s no return to it. When all bridges are burned, the only way to go is forward, yes? Damn it, what if I don't want to go anywhere?! I have there... I have... I shivered from my own teeth's creak. I sleep six feet below there! It’s over! This topic is closed! I shook my head abruptly, like trying to force unpleasant thoughts out of it and with a struggle turned my attention to another topic. For one thing, let’s get a clear picture about the situation I’m in. What do we have now? Shallow analysis is showing a pretty pessimistic result: firstly - the leg is broken, secondly - I’m in captivity. I chuckled joylessly because of the last thought: by looking at the surrounding, it's not a captivity at all. No gloomy wet dungeons with rusted lattice and dark guardians, no wooden barracks with barbed wire and machine gun posts. Yeah, it's strange, but am I against it? While I was unconscious, they could've thrown me in a cell with fetters on my legs, send me to the Moon, just in case. Reputation of the former owner of the body, I suppose, was not the best example of a good one. By the way, about her. Who am I now? Or even this - what am I? I associate myself with a human and think about myself in masculine gender. I have a human memory, but strangely specific. I remember facts, I remember some feelings and emotions, but absolutely do not remember any of the personal information. But the memory constructs our own “ego”. Based on it, we make decisions, we keep them in mind, make conclusions, and by relying on it, we grow as a personality. In other words, if I hadn't done it in that way, but another, there could have been another me! With different memory, different conclusions, and, as a result, with different personality! And now my memory is like a goddamn sieve! How much me is me without this memory? Me is still me or not anymore?! Damn it! I understand absolutely nothing! Because of too intellectual thoughts, a headache came. Stop. Inha-ale Exha-ale. I should end with these thoughts about memory, last thing I need is an outburst, I’m on the edge already... Another question, demanding brightening - Nightmare Moon. Am I alone in this body or her personality is somewhere here too? If yes, then why she doesn't manifest herself? Does not want to? Cannot? Is it possible that my theory is right, and her identity couldn't hold much longer in the exile? But did she disappear for good? How much left of her if no? Does she recognize herself or there's only some emotions and memories? Did she even have a complete personality? By Luna's memoirs it's hard to say. And what should I do with all this? Nothing but questions! I abandoned all hope in trying to puzzle out the depths of my mind that became strange and unclear, and decided to switch over to the body. It would've been a different matter, if it was easy and understandable, but no-o! From the fry pan into the fire: I'm a mare. This word is remarkable not only for its gender, but also for its species. I simply don't have a clue how this body functions, even on the primitive common level! I have wings now - how to move them? How to fly with them? And what bad or good can happen with them and because of what? Strangely enough, I panicked partly because of nothing. It was not a big deal to move the wings as I stopped to concentrate all my force on the process. Stands to reason in fact: brain with trained-and-tested reflexes is still within the body. Now this deletes a mass of problems: there’s no danger of learning how to walk again. There’s no possibility to try it, but I’m sure, that when I stand up, I’ll not tie myself up in a knot with the legs. The rest is a dark forest. What I can eat, how long should I sleep, how high can I fly, what and why can I get sick... Generally speaking, on an opportunity base, I should definitely find a book about anatomy, where it would be written in easy and short way. In your dreams, pal... Returning to the question of gender... No, I’m not, hell with it! Enough of these funny thoughts for today! Of course, this question should be solved sooner or later, there’s no way out of a submarine, but I won't do this now, out of harm's way. I have more than a lot of reasons to be sad today, so let’s give it a rest. The mood, that wasn't on a high level even at the moment of awakening, now, after all of these thoughts, was straightly dark: I know only a bit about myself, wounded, have misery rights and don't have a clue about what is going to happen next. With me, and in general. Distracting from the thoughts, I started to accurately examine the room. Turning my attention to the paintings - landscape pictures and a pair of still lifes, but there’s no portraits amongst them. I like these snowy mountains, but this sunset above a lake on the near painting is too sketchy for my taste. Brushworks are too big. I die for a second, while staring into the painting with gaze. Since when I can distinguish separate brushworks on a painting from a distance of around 3 meters? While a human I could barely see the “E” without glasses, and this is unbelievable! “There you go, actually, it’s not that bad!” I smile to myself crookedly. Nevertheless, an advantage for the new body. After the paintings, my glare fell at the clock, that was hanging on the wall. What time it is? “15:48” - automatically noted brain. Carefully gazing into the squiggle on the clock face. Human memory stubbornly saying, that these aren't familiar for me, but if I'd stop thinking about it and would just look - it strangely becomes very understandable. I hope that it would be the same with letters. Continuing to look around, I note a sheet of paper on a small table near the bed. Strange, I didn't see it before, it's under my nose. Lean to it closer. A note? Interesting. Now we will know if I understand letters or don’t... “Nightmare Moon, you have a fissure in your ribs (pain of it can irradiate into your wing, but everything is normal with the wing itself) and a fracture of leg. I handled everything and connected the bones, and if there is no complications, you will be on your feet after a week. Will stop by during the day. Celestia.” Text shapes into understandable words and sentences with ease, despite the awkwardly-looking letters, which human memory, like the numbers, declines to understand as known for me. An interesting effect. I have an impression, that I have two parallel memories, that intercommunicate with each other... Damn it, I’m dumb! Nightmare's memory literally dropped at me yesterday, this is why I know all these squiggles and dashes! Yeah, it was an interesting movie... Not without a reason it is said, that the most bitter enemies are clashed relatives. In fact - everyone did a good job. Celestia, who went with her head into politics and ruling the country, had been almost ignoring Luna when it comes to talking, except for work, and Celestia thought that Luna should be happy that there’s no much of job to do, and don't get on the elder sister's nerves with her own “non-essential problems”. Was it really that hard to find two-three hours during evening and just carefully listen to Luna, hug her and say: “Everything will be okay”? No, it's a good thing, that country and its citizens are important for a Queen, but abandoning the only relative you had in the whole world because of the job so straightly... no, I can't understand that. Luna, in her turn - just flawless “Great job you did!” Complains all the time that she’s not important to her sister, while neglecting that she doesn't really need a sister either! For once in the year I'd have liked her coming to Tia not with complaints and reproaches, but with a cup of coffee and a piece of cake! And she had rational thoughts in fact, but she didn't mature to it, minding her own insults and jealousy. However, it's easy to judge, I’ve never been in situation like this, if leftovers of my memory can be trusted. But enough about the sisters. I have to thoughtfully examine legacy - it's not a bad thing to get one memory instead of two and get rid of this doubleness. “It seems both, that I do know and don't”. Besides, maybe, I’ll be able to find answers on all the questions, that have been devouring me after awakening. Concentrating, trying to remember something from the presence on the Moon, but instead of simple memories, surprisingly, I fall into the past once again: thoughts, feelings, emotions are overwhelming me... I’m not remembering - I’m living it once again that was in the past! I can't think about anything - all force is going to not fall into the action, like in the last time. ... In the first hundreds of years Luna and Nightmare had been working together. They even could be named friends: they had been supporting each other. Luna had helped Nightmare solidify knowledge that were from Luna's memory, but she couldn't use them on practice. It was especially hard with emotions: being, in a big part, a product of negative emotions, Nightmare had a hard time understanding the concept of positive ones. There was a revealing moment, when Luna was paralyzed of a question: “What is happiness?” What can you answer on this question? “Happiness - it's when you're joyful”? How to describe happiness to someone who never felt that? But Luna, to her credit, tried her best, although her actions didn't give any evident success. Nightmare, in her turn, repeatedly dragged Luna from assaults of melancholy and self-recrimination. They had been developing spells for creating a proper building material from the Moon soil and painting spells for it together, for the purpose of building a huge castle amongst gray dusty wastelands. After this they did bas-reliefs, statues and stained-glasses in the castle, and they were especially loved by Luna. For Nightmare it wasn't a very interesting thing, but as long as the process of building and decorating the castle helped Luna to take mind off dark thoughts and get back to the main task with fresh force, Nightmare was not standing by. And then, they got back to this very main task: Luna and Nightmare Moon were trying to find a way out together, any possibility of escaping from here, from the Moon. Endless brainstorms, magic experiments, constant attempts to do with their prison, anything! But it all was in vain: as it turned out, there’s absolutely no way to fly on the Moon, and teleportation more than a few meters was impossible due to the overfilled magic background of the Moon. But the most horrifying of all was that Luna couldn't control her Moon anymore! Her dream-walking ability didn't work as well: she just couldn't find a way to the world of dreams! In result, the only thing that could be understood from all of these attempts was that the defense of prison isn't endless and sometime will fade by itself, but it's impossible to damage it from inside. Elements of Harmony left no loopholes. In the end, constant failures gradually created a discord amongst Luna and Nightmare Moon. Fruitless attempts to find a way out and impossibility of Luna's special powers to be casted buried her in deep depression and soul searching, and the result of it was a conclusion: “It's all my fault!” Nightmare, while trying to cheer up Luna in her common way, like: “There's no time to melt down! We have to prepare our retaliation! We have lost the battle, but not the war! The Queen will have that belongs to her, and we will rule Equestria together under the cover of endless night!” Surprisingly ran into a harsh reply. Luna lost her grip and said a lot to Nightmare, and the fact that these words were mental didn't make it less painful. “Luna, why... why you're saying it in that way? We are friends...” These are the only words that stunned Nightmare could manage to say. Her emotions during that moment reeked of... It is not even grief or soreness - it was crush of the ideal. This is where I surprisingly understood that Nightmare treated Luna as Luna herself treated Celestia until their dissension and events after that - like elder sister, who nearly replaced her mother. “Friends with whom? With a reflection in a mirror? You are nothing but a collection of negative emotions that by some irony has been given a semblance of consciousness! This beautiful landscape around - this is your achievement, monster! I would never have gone against my own sister if your words had not pushed me to do it!” Luna spat out with fury. By taking control of the body from stunned and terrified Nightmare, she spelled something powerful from the magic of dreams: something hit head like a hammer, there was a flash before eyes... when the light show came to an end, control of the body swiftly moved back to Nightmare. She didn't feel hidden presence of Luna's mind anymore nearby - her body was only hers... But it didn't really matter anymore. She was beaten and destroyed. For the first time ever, her own tears ran down her cheeks, not Luna's, and pain and emptiness flew in her soul, like a big piece of it was cut. ... I dashed away tears with anger and threw my head back, trying to keep down tears. Fuck me, Luna, I beat the hell out of you when I’ll meet you! Hoof in the face, so that your teeth will fly like a fan! Nightmare's emotions in this memory are breaking my heart apart. Her memory and feelings said, that Luna was for her something like mother and elder sister rolled into one, and she even took care of her in her own way, how she could. When a creature, that was created from hate and fury, loves you and takes care of you - it shows something! Yes, Nightmare hardly could be characterized as gentle and fuzzy, but Luna was, practically, everything to her! And the most cruel part of it is that Nightmare didn't understand what was the reason of that reaction. Hardly a surprise that simple and deadly thought “Luna, why?!” occupied her mind for very long. What Luna did? As far as I understood later, she buried her personality in something like a stasis or suspended animation, simply turned herself off for the rest of the exile. Nightmare tried everything she knew trying to achieve Luna's attention, but it all was in vain. Magic of dreams was known to her only by Luna's memory, but she didn't know how to use it on practice, and learning it herself via fragmentary memories was out of her reach. After several months of unsuccessful attempts, Nightmare dropped the idea of reaching Luna and had entirely fallen into heavy and hopeless depression. Nightmare Moon was left alone. Alone on a desert piece of dusty rook from which you cannot escape. But there were around six hundred years until the freedom... I shook my head abruptly, banishing deep memories. I’m not sure if I want to watch more. There are six hundred years of full solitude in the privacy of your own mind and gray rock. Maybe there are answers for my questions about who I have become, but is it worth it? On another side - these are my memories now. Is it wisely to have white blots in your knowledge of yourself? You never can tell what surprises can be thrown by my new body, and I will not know about them, because I missed something important. In the end, it’s not bad to know more about progenitor. To learn from her mistakes for my own sake. I sighed deeply, like before a jump into water. Here goes nothing. ... I looked with stupor at the gnawed pillow that is wet from my tears. I suppressed the hysterics and calmed myself down only ten minutes ago. Fucking hell, if only I had knew what I was going to see - no way I'd have agreed to do that. Except from profanity in my head, there was not a very correct by its meaning, but very correct by its soul, phrase: “The sleep of reason produces monsters“. With all my force to not deep into emotions and to not live it through once again in full-time, to examine memory only cursory, I still determined that even death is better than an exile to the Moon. And, to my own fear, I have understood, that if this perspective is real - I’ll crush my own brains against a wall without a doubt. One time I saw a history of a guy, who got tired of being in a city and decided to live sometime in solitude in taiga. He occupied a hunter’s house and just calmly lived by himself. He hunted, fished, chopped wood, delighted in stars. Only after a month and a little bit more he started to lose his sanity: phantom strange noises, and even further - visible pink elephants. It all ended with a hospital, good enough for him - no serious consequences. Two months in solitude - and it was enough! And if no one had come just in time - it'd have been a lost cause, the man would have been lost. But here are six hundred years of loneliness. Full and absolute. And Nightmare understood, that her personality is being destroyed, she understood, she felt that disintegration! It’s very, very scary, when you feel, that your mind moves away like a wet paper. A cold, sticking fear pierces me only because of the mere feeling of it. But Nightmare, nevertheless, tried to keep herself busy and to take mind off solitude by any method - continued finding a way of escape, development of spells and experiments with them on the castle, which she had been building with Luna in the old days, preparing of plans when she returns, building of her own fortress and art... The last one is something. Sum up undeniable availability of a talent and a drip of magic of illusions with overwhelming depression and progression of disintegration of personality and you’ll get what the only soul on the Moon had decorated her dark palace with. It was openly terrifying from the statues, bas-reliefs and paintings that Nightmare Moon tried to have fun with. ...And this - one of my old work - “Sight” Light-gray, almost white sand is everywhere, horizon-to-horizon, as far as the eye can see. Bottomless cosmos with numerous stars. In its background, there's a hint of a silhouette of a black alicorn, standing with her back to the viewer and looking into the infinity of the cosmos with endless sparks of stars. I look at her for a period - and suddenly immersed in the picture, and a feeling emerged, that it is not the alicorn, who is looking at the starry sky, but the endless Abyss, which is eying on a pathetic bug with her countless eyes. You cannot run from this gaze, you cannot hide - the eyes of the Abyss are everywhere around you! They’re looking! Waiting for something! Glimmer in the darkness, narrowly spy on their prey! Abyss are quivering above your head, smiling, like a predator, with her eyes! She's everywhere! I shivered and swallowed a lump in throat with force. Her drawings give goosebumps, but it's only the beginning! During the last hundred years, Nightmare, who had lost her last pieces of sanity for good, drew hell of a... DO NOT REMEMBER! I shook my head, trying to banish absolutely needless memories and to force myself to turn my thoughts on something different. It went really crappy - there was a full disarray in my soul after all I have seen. In the great scheme of things, I must think out a talk with Celestia, if she wanted to come by, make a tactic, my policy... But even this talk mattered little for me, and its result - I’ll be pleasured with anything expect new exile. I felt sorry for Nightmare Moon, with so little of her mind left. She, as possible, tried to save her, but alas... It was especially distinctive by her actions after return: she straightforwardly followed her initial plans - take revenge on Celestia and make an eternal night. Afterwards, she wasn't able to overrun the Elements of Harmony because of the exhaustion by a spell, that exiled Celestia on the Sun, her well-worn mind tried to overcome them with experience, but wasn't able either. And then the strike of the Elements woke up Luna of stasis, and at the same time, brought me here, while throwing us in different bodies. And this is how I came to the question, that was amongst many others and felt like a burden for me all this time. To the question, which already traditionally, never had an answer: “Why am I here?” There were no ideas. Saving Nightmare from loneliness on the Moon is already late. It was the same with acting differently immediately after the exile... Nightmare Moon - and me, as well - shouldn't be here at all. But I’m here. And I’m absolutely unwanted here, an useless element, because who and why in peaceful, pastoral Equestria, needs Nightmare Moon with a soul of not the very best man? So, exhausted with these sad thoughts, I fell asleep, almost unnoticed by myself. 6. Own TruthAfter a few hours filled with tears, hugs and excuses, sisters decided to continue the dialogue with a cup of tea, settling in the same bedroom, But none of them could find any words - nopony wanted to disturb the atmosphere of family happiness that settled inside the room. Luna and Celestia just sat together, snuggled each other and smiled - each for different reasons and carefully drank tea. All the words were spoken and reunited sisters just enjoyed the silence. A knock on the door ruined this peacefulness. “I’ll be right back.” Celestia sighed as she put away her teacup. Luna nodded - state affairs require her attention again, you can’t hide away from them. Princess... Tia really surprised her when she said that this was her title now. «My subjects started calling me Queen, but I was too proud to ask the same for you, but your deeds were as important as mine were! It seemed as if it was meant to be this way, because I am older... I shouldn’t have, I didn't have any right to put myself above you! But I did. Got used to privileges and power, started to brag about my title, you know what happened next. I would never do such a mistake again! This is why I am a Princess now, Sister, just like you.» Celestia explained. While older sister was talking to somepony in the corridor, the younger one was examining the furnishings that she didn't notice before. Relatively small, cozy room with bright finish. Big, alicorn sized bed. "And not just one alicorn as it turns out!" Luna thought happily. "There's enough room for me and my sister!" Other than that, there was a big fluffy carpet and a tea table, with pillows around it instead of chairs. Celestia didn't change her habits. And honestly, the night Princess liked them too. Big windows, starting almost at the floor and ending at the ceiling, with unusually clean glass. Two doors - one to the hallway, and the second leading to an office. The room didn’t impress neither with its luxuriousness nor with its size. It looked ascetic comparing to the other decorations around the castle. This wasn't a big “Her Majesty's Bedroom”, but a room for rest during a work day, or for sleep if you couldn’t go to the main bedroom during these work days. Anyway, Luna didn’t care if it was small, big, or whatever sized bedroom. "Finally, we are together!" her soul sang. Quiet steps stopped Luna's thoughts - Celestia was coming back to the table, holding an inkwell, a feather and a few sheets of paper. “What is it?” Luna asked. “Important duties again?” “Don't worry about it, Lu. I am taking a vacation for a week tomorrow. This is why I have ministers and deputies after all.” Day Princess smiled, taking a seat next to her sister. “And these are the documents I asked to bring when I asked for tea.” Luna arched her brow. “Here, take a look. I think you’ll like it.” Celestia carefully shifted her empty plate and a teacup, and placed the papers in front of her sister. “Okay... «The Night Guard edict»?” She was surprised. “Exactly!” Tia smiled. “The edict «Diarchy» was prepared by me at least six centuries ago, you only have to sign it, making you the second ruler of our country. And how a ruler and a Princess can manage without her loyal guards? You need your guards, and batponies need you, and I hope that this step will help to bring the night ponies together with the others and bring them out of isolation. After all, I just want to do something good for you. And, being late for a thousand years, I’ll try to fix my mistake. I know how cruel I was to show disbelief to you and your guards.” Sun Princess ended on a sad note. “But I did forgive you, Tia!” Luna sighed and hugged her sister. “And what Isolation are you talking about? I thought you mentioned that thestrals have same rights as normal ponies do?” “Correct, they do.” White alicorn nodded. “But only a few use them, others prefer living in the mountains, contacting Equestria’s inhabitants very rarely. When I realized what I did, I immediately started fixing it. But their folk accepted my help only years later! They barely survived in those mountains, suffered from cold and hunger, they needed help! And they accepted it from anypony but me. Time passed, and we managed to work out some kind of relationship, but I am afraid that we will never have any friendship. They remember the evil Queen Celestia too well. Night ponies still scare foals with my name... Even curse as we do with «Discord!»” Celestia said. “Celestia!” Luna hissed viciously and giggled, and seeing her sister's face she burst out laughing. “Grow up.” Celestia rolled her eyes, causing another wave of laughter. “By the way our ponies scare their foals with a Night Pony.” “Is this me?” Luna stopped laughing. “Well, not really you. The official statement, printed in the books says that Princess Luna bravely sacrificed herself in order to seal Nightmare Moon, for Equestia's and her sister's safety.” “Well. At least it's somewhat true. Very remotely though.” Night Princess smiled. “About Nightmare Moon... I’m sorry, but are you insane?” Celestia looked at her sister trying to understand what she meant. “I made many mistakes in my life, Luna. And the most important lesson that I got is that you shouldn’t act driven by emotions. So...” “By emotions?! Tia, she is a monster! You do remember how we fought Sombra? Nightmare Moon is probably worse than him! All the time I spent with her, all she thought about was revenge! All she did was trying to come closer to this goal! Even when she started helping me to improve the spell for creating bricks, she did that so I could be calmer, because calm Luna works better with battle spells! I was thinking, rethinking, changing! But she was still a blob of concentrated evil and hate!” “But could she become different?” Suddenly asked Celestia. “What do you mean?” Perplexed Luna answered. “I don’t mean to offend you, but... She is your reflection. You kind of created her...” “I get what you are trying to say.” Luna interrupted.“ She and her deeds are my responsibility...” “I am sorry I didn't mean this!..” Sister didn't even notice her. “... And I didn't neglect this responsibility. When I realized my mistakes, I understood and forgave myself, I tried to teach everything to her. And I failed! Nightmare Moon just couldn’t understand me! Even worse, she didn’t even know what positive emotions are! She listened closely to my monologue, and then asked: «What is happiness?». She is my dark side, you are right. And this dark side is so terrible, that she couldn’t understand what is good by definition! I hope you understand now how dangerous it is to leave her here.” Luna looked at her sister, waiting for her reaction. “I get it.” Slowly said Celestia. “Tell me, how to explain what a color is to a pony that was born blind?” “Uhh” Princess pondered. “Wait, what does it have to do with Nightmare?” “It’s simple, you can't explain what color is to a pony who never saw it, as well as you couldn’t explain Nightmare what happiness is...” “Because she never felt it!” Luna ended her sentence being shocked. “But... No, it can’t be.” She shook her head. “She had my memories, and I know this feeling!” “She had your memories... But can you really be sure that she had all of them?” Celestia asked sadly. “You created her unknowingly, in the times when, as you said, your happiest feeling was gloat, when I accidentally spilled some ink on the financial reform plan that kept me awake for three days...” “Don’t remind me. I am still ashamed of this.” Luna said, embarrassed. “About memories... If she had all of them, then she consciously became a monster. If not, then you won't be able to teach her good, because the concept is alien to her. She is dangerous in both cases.” Luna said decisively. “And I don't get why you need her. Why didn't you exile her again?” Luna shivered when she thought that she saw for a moment a cold, careless Queen's look in her sister's eyes. But the Illusion disappeared, leaving only slight disappointment in her sister's pink eyes. “Then answer me: if I should exile her, then why I shouldn’t do the same to you?” Celestia squinted her eyes. “Following your logic, you are dangerous too, aren't you? You, together with Nightmare, sent me to the Sun, raised the Moon, attacked and hurt a couple of guards, fought my loyal student... So why shouldn't I have sent you back to the Moon when we were in the Sister’s castle?” “...?!” Shocked, Luna widely opened her eyes and looked at her sister, helplessly opening her mouth and struggling to find any words. “I am sorry, sister.” Sun Princess hugged confused Luna. “I don’t know what got into me. I am sorry, I... Overreacted. But at least I hope you understand me now. If you are worthy of a second chance, then why she isn't? Honestly, I’d do the opposite if Fluttershy didn't interfere.” Celestia sighed quietly. “But her actions made me look at the situation differently. I'd love to write a letter about what I learned about friendship, as I told my student, but alas, I can't write it to myself.” Sisters looked at each other and quietly laughed, a simple joke helped to ease the atmosphere. “I didn’t look at it this way. You described it so...” Luna made a vague gesture. “But I still don’t like your decision to bring Nightmare into the capital. Do you realize what could happen if you are wrong about her? Let's imagine you are right, and you can come up to some agreement, even though I doubt it. But what if I am right? Is it wise to expose yourself and your subjects to danger? What if she escapes the prison...?” “She is not in prison, sister. She is in the guest room of your wing...” “WHAT?!” Luna sprung from her pillow, putting her hooves on the table, glaring at Celestia. A cup crunched under the left hoof of dark alicorn, turning into a pile of shards. Despite the expectations of the Sun Princess, there was no emotional and loud continuation. Instead of this, after a couple of seconds, Luna slid back down onto her pillow. “You are insane.” She said. “As if it wasn't enough to bring a living embodiment of hate into the castle, you didn’t even put any guards on her... And really, why would you need that? What could go wrong?” Luna said sarcastically. “Let me explain. First of all, Nightmare isn't in the condition to fight me, even considering that I am not the best warrior. With a fracture in her supporting leg and unstable magic she doesn't pose a serious threat, especially now when you are here.” Celestia smiled at her sister. “And secondly, do you think there is a difference to waking up in a dungeon rather than in a bedroom? I think the second option will generate more trust, so we could build an agreement. By the way, I am planning to visit her in half an hour... Want to tag along?” “You really did change so much...” Luna shook her head. “I almost don’t recognize you. All these tales about harmony, friendship... I didn’t believe you at first, but now... You are... A ah, Discord! Just be careful. Please. I don't want to lose you again. No matter how.” Younger sister rubbed older sister's neck. “I’d better stay here. If it turns out that you were right about Nightmare, then... Actually, nevermind.” Luna suddenly ended the phrase. “Is something the matter?” Tia worryingly asked. “Maybe.” Luna said, avoiding a direct answer. “It all depends on whether you are correct about Nightmare. Let's talk about it later, ok?” Dark blue alicorn smiled. “A lot has happened to me lately...” When sisters said their goodbyes, Luna looked at the shards for a long time, thinking about what she should do if her sister is right, and Nightmare is an intelligent, living being and not a spirit of evil, as Night Princess thought. And she was really scared to think that she did a mistake back on the Moon. 7. A Heart-To-Heart TalkAuthor's Note "Some time this chapter was a part of the 5th chapter - and this united chapter was rewritten by me around eight times - mostly because of the dialog with Tia. And this dialog didn't work out as I wanted. Nevertheless, I still hope that this chapter, which went through bimestrial development hell, wouldn't be a complete failure." Original author's note. 7. A Heart-To-Heart Talk Waking up with a push, like because of an alarm-clock, I tried to do habitual movement: to sit on the bed and slip legs into slippers. Right leg bursts with a protesting pain, and I, by getting lost in strangely situated limbs, fell back onto the bed and finally woke up. By looking around, I made sure that it was a magnificent castle bedroom around me. For fuck's sake! It was not a dream! I hopelessly dropped my head on what was left of the pillow and shut my eyes. My mood dropped down with the speed of a falling aircraft. I wanted to go and get hammered until oblivion in hopes that drunken haze would help me get rid of these thoughts that haunt me, and to get rid of an alien world. Why? For what? And what's the matter in these questions if I can't get back anyway? There’s no way back from the other side, even if “this side” is full of multicolored horses! Especially when you're one of those - I lifted my head a bit and fixed my gaze at the folded criss-cross fore limbs, covered in black short fur and provided with accurate hooves. And what to do now, what?! There were unpleasant situation in my life, but it's my first time when I face a really hopeless one. Yeah, I didn't get used to being dead... There are no ideas, and therefore the thought: “What to do?” annoys me so much. I gazed at the door apathetically, looking at the fretworks of fiber on the plates with a senseless sight. Besides the sickeningly familiar “What to do?”, only a loud emptiness was in my head, it was heavy and freaking annoying in my soul. I don't know how much time has passed, when a clop of hooves behind the door brought me out of the brain freeze. An interesting sound. It's like a clop from high heels of a shoe, but because of the way of going on four legs, it sounds pretty weirdly - I noted dully. The steps stopped before the door and silenced. Interesting, who has come? I thought of a picture with hesitating Celestia in front of the door for a second, and I couldn't hold a laugh. Yeah, what a nonsense. Likely it's someone from the maidservants, who was “blessed” with an order to come to black-hearted Nightmare Moon with this or another task... The door, covering in a golden glow, opened silently and smoothly, letting in a beautiful like snow-white alicorn with a multicolored mane, fluttering on invisible wind. Wrong guess. Fantastic. The only thing I needed now is a meeting with her. I hoped she would come later... Celestia impresses. Lengthy, a stress can be felt in her whole figure: the wings are slightly high, the legs straddled for more stability. There’s concern on her face with a slight tone of interest. Watchful sight of narrowed big pink eyes, lips are shut tightly, ears are folded forward bellicosely. The rays of the Sun, breaking through a window, play on her golden regalia. She doesn't look friendly. And I, in my wisdom and the rolled up melancholia, didn't even make a plan of how to behave with her. All my knowledge about her is the series, where she is an incidental, almost background character, and the memories of either Luna or Nightmare - it's hard to understand - about Queen Celestia. I do not trust in the first option really, I do not want to trust in the second option very much. The pause has lasted way too long, whipping up tensions. “Waiting for death is worse than death itself” - right? Exhaling like before a jump into water. Here we go... “Queen Celestia.” I nodded to the alicorn, representing a bow. She is winking in surprise, as if she tried to understand if I address to her. But it's visible, that she eased a little. Waited an offensive instead of a talk? “I bear the Princess rank now, Nightmare Moon.” She answered with a beautiful, melodic voice. “How do you feel?” The pose become more relaxed, the ears straightened, a tiny sliver of a smile did appear... I like her in that way a lot more. About her question... “Better than it could've been, but worse than I wanted it to be.” I grimace at the last words reflexively. A broken leg is not a fast deal. Even idler such I would damn everything on Earth if I had to lay on a bed without a break for a couple of days. “Will you allow me to run magical diagnostic?” Tia gave me a questioning look. “As if I could stop you from doing anything.” I chuckled while looking around the room. “If it’s not pleasant for you or you do not trust me - I’ll understand you and will not do this.” She gave me a serious look. “You're joking.” I swept a distrustful glance over the white alicorn Seriously, she cannot think like this, can she? Her rank doesn't allow this! I’m a potential enemy for her after all! “Hardly that.” The Princess insists calmly “I just think that it’s not allowable to impose your own vision to others in situations, when you can go without it.” Is she dropping hints on my daredevil past? Where is “I’m not you”? Where’s logic here, God damn it? “Not allowable to impose” to me - since when, if our relationship is far away from being friendly? I'd understand that if she did say it to Luna, for example... “You're not joking - you're mocking.” I inhale darkly. “Let’s be clear - why are you mucking about with me? Why do you need me? Not for a public execution I hope?” Celestia made a step back, narrowing eyes in no-good way. The last phrase, as I can understand, is the Nightmare Moon's style, and she didn't like it. “And you, Nightmare, would definitely do that if you were in my place?” A threatening shadow appeared in the Princess’ voice. “I’m not in your place. And it seems that would not be anymore in future.” I reply back apathetically. “Give me the answer finally, why do you need me?” Celestia gave me a long thoughtful look. It crossed my mind for a second, that she barely understands why she needs such a “gift”, such as alive-almost-healthy Nightmare Moon. “I don't know if you will understand...” She says at last. “Everyone has the right for a second chance. If I have forgiven my sister, then why I must change my opinion for you - all of you were parts of one being, weren't you? Moreover, the Element of Kindness asked me for you.” Fearful, constraining Flutty - for me?! I doubt that she wasn't scare to give me even a look! The question “What to do?” has been questioned over and over again? Here, you're welcome, your solution for some time - pay Fluttershy up for the rescue from worse-than-death fate. I suppose if she didn't say a word - Celestia could've solved this problem the other way... This is not to say I very care about this life, but... but its loss will not bring the old one, where everything that was meaningful for me was left behind. And that being the case, I must live further on. Live with a life as it is - and be happy that I have at least this one. If dad was here, he would give me an advice that I must live this life better than the old one. “You have to listen to your parents, right?” I hardly chuckled, but darken once again in a moment. They have to bury me there... And here I can only hope that they would endure this... God... Something white appeared before the eyes for a moment, I reflexively blinked and pulled back, recovering myself. “...Okay?” I heard worried Celestia's voice. “No, I’m not okay.” I deeply inhaled in answer, figuring out the beginning of the phrase. “But thanks for asking. Although I still barely understand why you muck about with me. A second chance is a good thing surely, but...” I vaguely waved with a hoof. “Why don't you trust me that I could give it to you not “for some reason”, but just because?!” The Princess asked kind of discomposedly. “Because you're a ruler. You do everything "for some reason.” I tried to shrug. It worked out badly. And also because I don't know what to do with your “for some reason”. If you told me where to go and what to do - it could've been easier. There could've been no time to think... "About everything" I added inwardly darkly. “I’m not the Queen you remember, Nightmare. I have categories, different from “advantage-disadvantage”.” Rather sharp answered Celestia. I can feel that royal past is a pretty unpleasant topic for her. “What about “dangerous-undangerous” category?” I chuckled. “Last time I checked our last meeting almost ended in your death. And now you house me in fancy chambers, come alone, without escort, take care of me... Not as if I’m against it, sure...” I silenced, trying plainly to come up with doubts. Her actions cannot be understood by my logic, cannot! Such a ruler and a politician with such a life cannot do such things as she does! “You're not in condition to pose threat for me.” Drily states Princess, but she softens and adds: “On top of that, extreme measures are extreme for the absence of other variants. And I still hope, that you will be able to make friends and find something more than desires to get power and covering the world in an endless night.” Got it. “We will keep you - maybe you would be useful, but we’ll always be in time to roll you into concrete”. I was not going to give reasons for the last one, if I remember correctly... But I have to find a goal myself. Yeah, no one promised that it would be easy... “I’ll try.” I lingered time with some misgiving, rather answering to my own thoughts than to the Princess’ words. Celestia smiles at me warmly. “Glad to hear it! If so, be my guest, Nightmare. And let’s get back to the beginning of our talk - what's your opinion about diagnostic?” “Do it if you think it’s necessary.” I nod. Because of this rather dryish answer, Tia's smile seemingly fade a little. I felt ashamed of me for a second, that I do not trust her. But... I can't. Even if she was absolutely honest with me. “Do not trust politicians and bankers” - it’s a setup from the already past life was set deep inside of me like a vice. It can have serious consequences... Meanwhile, a golden sparkle fell down from Celestia's long horn, lighted up with a soft yellow shine, and imbedded in me, causing a short feeling of tickle throughout my whole body. Ah, bastard! I shuddered. Snowy alicorn narrowly examined my side and leg almost a minute, and then looked again in my eyes and smiled. “Everything is fine, healing spells are doing well, adhesion is going good. I’d say unusually good. I think after three-four days you’ll be able to stand up.” Princess cheered me up. Unusually you say... What about me not feeling hunger and thirst for two days - is it usual thing for alicorns or not? I speak my question out. “Not exactly...” Tia answers thoughtfully. “You, maybe, had no opportunity to get aware of this earlier: alicorns are more magic beings rather than material ones. What you described is typical for an alicorn who got caught in a very strong magic place, where energy supply from without is great enough for the alicorn's organism to function only on it. Maybe because of this your adhesion is going too fast. Maybe the Moon itself is a source like that. But, to be honest, I have not been interested in that question...” Princess became confused. I couldn't hold a smile - she was pretty cute because of that. “Nevertheless, I can surely say that hunger and thirst will come back to you soon.” The talk got silenced by itself. While thinking of something, Princess directed her gaze out the window. I reflexively followed her. The Sun doesn't blind me anymore, it hides behind a cloud, some dots are creeping near it in bright blue sky - apparently, a weather team of pegasi working on it. I could see no more from this low bed, but even this picture somehow seemed to be calming and something like careless. Some time we just gazed out the window with Princess in silent. “Okay.” Shortly said Celestia. “It was interesting to talk with you, but unfortunately I have to go. Can I help you with something?” Why is she breaking my template - is it on purpose? Why she treats me like that? Abnormal world, abnormal villagers... But I, of course, wouldn't hesitate: never slap a gift horse. “If it’s not a problem - a pillow.” I gazed shyly on what has left of the old one. “And books to read. I don't know what you have, so on your taste.” Princess glanced over the dissipated feathers, but didn't say anything. And thanks to her for it - there was no desire to expatiate upon the reasons of my hysteria. “Okay.” She nodded. “Goodbye, Nightmare Moon.” “Goodbye.” Hesitating, I echoed to the already closing door. The talk exhausted me pretty well. And what's worse, didn't make anything more clear: I still don't know what to do in this world and how to live further. I gazed upon the clock and with revealed some surprise that night time is not in the distance - postprandial nap and talking with Princess have taken a lot of time and I didn't even know it. That is good - this silly day has already annoyed me as hell... I find a comfortable place on the bed and shut my eyes. 8. A New StartWhen I woke up, I didn't realize right away where I was: it was dark, as if my head was covered with a blanket. With a really big blanket, made out of feathers... Wait, it's a wing! My wing... So, how do I control them? After a few minutes I finally managed to fold it, and instantly squinted due to extremely bright light attacking my eyes. Well, good morning, right? I looked around, still having a blurred vision from waking up. There was a small pile of books on a bedside table. I got up to look at the titles, and noticed that I was sleeping on a pillow. Wow, I thought no servant would risk to put it on the bed, trying not to wake me up... Well, thanks for that. To them and to Princess. Nothing else has changed in the room - same curtains, same pictures, same quiet ticking of the clock that shows early morning. Well, of course, I fell asleep before dawn... I felt pretty good. My flank almost stopped disturbing me, and my leg also didn't hurt, at least while I didn’t move it. Their healthcare is pretty cool. Seems like they really can heal a broken leg in four days. Tia also mentioned some effect of energy overflow that I got back on the Moon. Judging by the fact that I still don't feel hungry or thirsty, it still affects me. Should I stretch? I tossed and turned in the bed, stretched out, trying not to disturb my hurt leg, thoughtfully looked at the floor. Can I stand? Theoretically, three points of support was enough... I rolled on my belly, crawled to the edge of the bed and put my forelegs on the ground. That's new. It feels as if you were standing on your hands, but also not... Now, diagonally... I lean on my healthy hind leg, while my hurt one was still on the bed. Trying to get up and shift my weight on front limbs. I stand. Feels weird: one might think that it would be uncomfortable to stand on four (well, three in this situation) bones, as a human on stretched legs and hands, but no, it feels okay. While trying to make a step forward, without disturbing the leg, the first thing I found out was the fact that standing isn’t walking: I almost fell, barely stopping from stepping with the hurt hoof. I was saved by my other reflex – the body flaps its wings, helping to shift the weight to the front and stay on the feet. The second fact is that laying on your folded hind legs is pretty comfortable, but holding them in this position while standing feels terrible, as if trying to bend your pinkie without ring finger. Carefully return to the bed. Well, bummer. You can stand on three legs, but not walk. At least if one of the hind ones is missing, remembering canon, holding something in the front limbs and using the remaining three to move is natural for ponies. My only option is staying in bed - I sighed. At least I didn't fall, thanks to my reflexes. About them. And importantly, about my wings. I can spread them almost without any problems now. I always wondered, what wings did Nightmare have, membranous or feather ones? To my slight disappointment they turned out to be out of feathers, but with weird ones. Thick, long, unusual shape. They made an impression of a solid, leather-like wing from afar. Interesting. Fold, unfold, flap...I have spent almost half an hour playing with my new limbs, getting used to controlling them. Turned out it was important not to focus as hard as you can, but instead relax a little bit and think less, so your reflexes would take over. It's my distant pipedream, you know? Buried by my terrible health. I could fly. Probably not right away, I still have to learn, but still. I looked at the clock, mindlessly tracking the second hand. Wings are but a fraction of what I have now... I am an alicorn now, mind you. How long do they live again? Nobody knows - not a single one of them had died yet of natural causes, and Princesses are well over a thousand years old... If they had lived on Earth, they’d have had an opportunity to personally meet prince Rurik... God, how long do I have to live now? Somehow, It felt wrong. Alicorns are powerful mages. A new, unexplored, incredible path of magic has opened before me. With an alien world around me, waiting to be discovered. With its unusual, strange rules and laws. A world of fresh air, vast forests and without a looming war that risks to be the last one in human history. No, I liked my world. Dynamic, fickle as a flame. Liked my work and people that followed me. But that history is over for me now, even if it's a tough pill to swallow. There is no return now. Now I have to leave the past behind me, even if it's hard, and move forward, to the unknown. Start from scratch. Look for friends, things to do, learn new stuff. And, maybe, I will like this world as my old one... There will be problems, of course... Well, I already have them. Gender... It's complicated. At least Equestrian language doesn't have grammatical genders for verbs. Other than that... No, I won’t make a tragedy out of that and, groping myself with hooves, cry: «Where?!». You have to have the nerve to complain about this body. Not the most pleasant turn of actions, but it's not the end of the world. I wasn't planning on flirting with locals, and for them to flirt with me... Well, I'd love to look at that. But to be honest, I don't know anything about this body... I’ll have to clarify some things about it, just to avoid any unpleasant surprises. Well, I will figure it out later. I think, with my current life span this problem will solve itself after about fifty years, when everything will bore me and I will get tempted to experiment... I shook my head, driving this thought away. I don’t want to think about this. That's the physiological side of the question. From a social standpoint, if a popular fan theory is correct, it won't change anything for me, meaning I still will be a “stronger” gender. «Have some teats, will you? Are you a mare or what?!» I chuckled a bit, thinking about this comparison. Well, even if it's not true, then my race is out of the social standards anyway, alicorns don’t fit there due to incredibly low population and tremendous power. Plus, I have evil reputation, I don't know whether it's good for me or not. At least, I won't be bothered unnecessarily, and I’m fine with that. But if everyone runs away from me, screaming with primordial fear, including vendors, it will be very annoying. Let’s say I need to buy some bread, and instead of «took-paid-left» I would have to get the panicking cashier from under the table. It depends on how I look in the eyes of the locals, I could either be a spooky villain or a complete monstrosity. So, we’ll talk and then I will decide whether or not I have to change my reputation. In conclusion: I have almost greenhouse conditions. Of course, I and Celestia haven't decided anything yet, but her mood yesterday made me somewhat optimistic. I wonder, what will come next? Will she send me to Ponyville? But maybe she will leave me in the castle, to learn how to rule the proper way, while she’s still here. Etiquette, reports, Equestrian laws, royal things... I shivered. I don't like the idea of that! No, it's probably a good idea to learn everything that I’ve mentioned, because of my race I will likely need it, but I don't want to do it every day. I rolled on my back, stretching my wings, and hanging my head off the bed: this is the only way I can lie on the bed now because of my horn... Wings are half of the package by the way. My horn also exists. There it is, long, spiral, always staying in my periphery. I should learn how to use it. Considering that without it you can't even comfortably read... Damn. I don't have any teachers other than this body's previous owner. Which means I have to touch her memory again... I nervously bit my lip. I didn't want to submerge myself into events that happened on the Moon. But I have to, either that or I will have to explain Tia why I can't lift a teacup. Making up my mind, I sighed and rolled on my side and tried to calm down. I just had to focus on Nightmare's memories and I immediately felt as if I was drowning in a swamp, making great efforts just not to submerge completely and not to lose myself... ... After a couple hours, I was in a terrible mood, but I finally managed to «catch» the pieces that responded to Nightmare from my memories using her horn and recover myself. Now I need to try and replicate the sensations that I remembered and use the horn. And also, I learned that I not only can build castles from anything I found, but also skillfully destroy them. The list of spells used for destroying buildings made by Nightmare was extensive. She, abandoned by Luna, vented anger on the castle that they once built together. Remembering how the great towers crumbled to dust accompanied by a mad, hysterical laughter was painful and sad. Luna, you damn mule, what did you do? Why did you leave Nightmare Moon? Why? Do you understand, you blue ass, that you killed her? There is almost nothing left of her personality! I whimpered as I breathed through my teeth. Some kind of heavy and grim feeling settled in my chest. Nightmare's perfect memory is, perhaps, the only thing that is left of her. She saved everything, even the tiniest of details, feelings, senses, words... And transferred them to me, if I ever needed it. My wish to remind Luna about what she had done was really strong, the only thing that was stopping me from reminding her immediately was my broken leg. I managed to calm down at least a little bit only after an hour. To distract myself I decided to start using the information that I gathered from my recollections. Despite all the theoretical knowledge about how to do it and my body's reflexes, it still took me three hours just to feel my own magic source. During my attempts I growled, grinded my teeth, swore like a pirate, and almost cried - I felt that desperate. But when I finally managed to get a feel for the energy, the progress picked up really fast. It didn’t take any big effort to direct and structure the energy into something simple, telekinesis for example. The pillow got surrounded by turquoise aura... and flew into the wall, exploding into a cloud of feathers. Whoops... At least I didn’t take the book, as I first planned... But I didn't think that I would destroy the pillow this fast. I continued to train my magic on pieces of pillowcase and feathers, also mentally scolding myself for not starting from feathers first. After one and a half hours my training was interrupted by a knock on the door. By that time, I finished putting feathers on the pillowcase, managing to do at least some kind of cleaning in the room. The door was silently opened by a golden aura, letting the Sun Princess in. “Good day, Princess Celestia,” I waved with my left hoof. Her response was a surprised look. Well, yes, I didn’t think about that: Nightmare Moon suddenly saying that the «day is good» is kind of ironic. “Hello, Nightmare,” Celestia nodded. “How do you feel?” “Better than yesterday. Trying to figure magic out... By the way, I am sorry, but... do you have another pillow?” I feel the red appearing on my cheeks. At least my fur is black... Celestia followed my look, shook her head, and inspected a small pile of feathers on pillowcase. “What's wrong with your magic?” She asked with a hint of concern. “I tried to lift it, but it went flying into the wall,” I said. "I think a hundred-year long loneliness and Elements had some impact on my head. I even have some problems with coordination.” I tried to mimic Nightmare, even though I doubt it looked convincing. Such an explanation is going to be useful if somebody gets interested in changes that I made to my persona, even though barely anyone knew the original personally, and changes are going to be welcome... But I don't want to test how they will react to someone else in Nightmare's body... Better safe than sorry. I should make a legend about my flying and magic skills for the same reason. And if Celestia for some reason thinks that she has to help me, then I should ask for some lessons, I think it’ll do me nicely. Of course, it's dangerous to tell her what my weaknesses are, but... Seriously if she wanted to end me, then she would have done so already. “Loneliness?” Celestia twisted her brow. “I thought you shared Luna's body. You could talk, couldn’t you?” I didn't consider that twist... Nevermind then. But I won't tell her everything myself, she should ask Luna. Seems like she didn’t think it was necessary to tell her sister about this, so I’ll make her. Damn blue chicken... “So, Luna didn’t tell you anything?” I was «surprised». “You should ask your dearest sister, what she told me when I had called her a friend for the first time and what she did after. Tell me what she said later. I am really eager to hear.” Even a simple reminder is enough to fly me into a rage. I closed my eyes, and made a few deep breaths, trying to calm down. I was shaking. If Luna would have come in here, I'd jump on her right away. This is not okay. Because the Night Princess didn't do anything to me... But Nightmare's perfect memory that I retained showed me every small detail. Each thought, each feeling, everything! She left me there, and I felt terrified as my personality crumbled, and I couldn't do anything! I have reasons to hate her! “I will ask.” Celestia's voice hardened. “No matter what happened between you two, I won’t let you hurt my sister, Nightmare.” “Then make sure we won’t run into each other. I won't rely on my self-control.” It was hard to speak, I had to force myself to say everything calmly. “I hope it won’t fail you. I don't want to use any extreme measures against you.” Celestia warned me. “Goodbye, Nightmare,” she bid farewell, and left without waiting for my response, closing the door tight. Well... So much for a conversation. 9. Alicorns the SistersAuthor's Note "No matter what happens between Tia and Luna - they will remain the closest for each other in the whole world." Original author's note. 9. Alicorns the Sisters “Rise and shy!” Funny sister’s voice dragged Luna from a dream. “But Celly, give me rest!” The Princess of The Night said dreamily and turned to another side, hiding her eyes from the Sun rays, which have entered the room since Celestia drew aside the curtains, allowing them to enter. “Wo-ona.” Tia prolonged playfully. “Five more minutes!” Luna implored desperately, while understanding that she has awoken and will not fall asleep, but she didn't want to give up with such ease. Celestia went around the bed. Her sister shut her eyes, trying to sleep with all her might. Princess of the Sun smiled mischievously. She spread her all-white wing, accurately pulled out a feather out of it and gave a tickle to the black-blue alicorn's nose. “ATCHOO!” Being not able to withstand, Luna sneezed and finally opened her eyes, fastening her angry sight at her sister. Tia giggled, covering her mouth with a tip of a wing. “Celly! It's tyranny and despotism! Why?!” The junior Princess moaned with a strain, unwillingly wriggling out of blanket. “What is the hour?” “It’s going to be 3, oh my sleepy sister.” Tia smiled again. And chuckled again in response to the Luna's slightly stunned gaze. “Wow, I... Almost eighteen hours...” The sleepy alicorn nodded with her head distrustfully. “Oh.” “You should take a shower and refresh yourself. Let’s go, I’ll rub your spine!” Celestia waved with her hoof invitingly. “Shower?” Luna raised her eyebrow. “What is it?” “It’s a little joy of the central water system. You will like it!” Intrigued Princess chuckled distrustfully, but followed the senior sister. ... “Ouch!” “Sorry.” Celestia folded her ears guiltily. “I’m afraid that I lost my former skill...” “It’s nothing.” Luna smiled carelessly. “Please, keep on.” Enveloped in a golden glow, hair pick dove again into the blue mane and started to slide, lettings its strands between its teeth. Junior sister slightly turned her head for the sister’s comfort. It was so long ago... It seems before the times when they were running Equestria. In those times, when their manes hadn’t been fluttering in the air, demonstrating to the others their huge power, they usually set hairs to each other. But now, with Luna's magic disturbed and weakened by the hasty alternation of surroundings, Celestia got her possibility to practice a little on sister's appearance again, and Luna agreed with pleasure. It is so good to be back home, with the family... Blue alicorn closed her eyes blissfully, remembering the last few hours. She liked the shower very much, Celly didn't fool. In the good old days it was mandatory to bath like a pegasus, from a cloud - the shower was something like this process, but the difference is that it gives not only cold water, but also warm. Moreover, as much as you want, and its hard jets massage skin nicely. And when her sister showed her how to change its utilization, Luna was as happy as a filly. After this, Tia brought a whole pile of flasks with different potions and have been explaining the purpose of these things for a while. All these gels, shampoos, lotions, masks for fur and feathers were merged in one solid wall of incomprehensible terms, but nevertheless, the feeling of cleanness, freshness and pleasant smells surely were liked by Luna and she reduced her original skepticism. Bathing with the help of water from a river, sand and magic maybe was easier and more practical, but by far less comfortable. However, the shower wasn't the only thing in sight. Luna well appraised a sweating-room with pouring aromatic oils onto white-hot stones, creating thick fragrant steam, then a small fresh swimming pool and hot, boiling water in a hot tub. After hydrotherapeutic procedures, slightly drowsy Luna at first, has been mopped with a huge loop towel thoroughly, then, with a brush, a villus was put to a villus, setting the fur in place accurately. Finally, caring sister's hooves were combing her tousled mane with a hair pick. “Let's make sisterlocks?” Tia suggested playfully, moving down the hair pick. “It will suit you!” “No!” Luna leaped back in half-pretended fear. “I’m not a little one!” “Woona, don't get fussy.” Celestia demanded it, composing her lips, but couldn't withstand and tittered. Luna happily dissolved into laughter with her sister. ... Princesses passed by another post in a hallway and turned to the dinning room. Luna smiled with satisfying, when a guard followed her with a stunned gaze, even forgetting to salute to the ruling Princess by the book. Not a surprise - she looked at herself with the same gaze under a happy smile of her pleased sister. Tia has been performing a religious rite with her mane almost an hour, but Luna has forgot all the carried struggles and losses when she saw the result. Pompous and hard high head-dress, decorated in silver-plated fiber with pearl and flirtatiously knocking out spike of crimp hair looked really royally. There was a dinner already, awaiting for two persons. Luna was especially impressed by a large bowl with fruits, some of which she did not even know about. And everything smells utterly stupefying. If the Princess of the Night initially assumed sister’s idea of going to have a dinner without enthusiasm due the full absence of hunger, now she was lighted with a desire to taste everything on the table. But the smells were much better than during the party in Ponyville, it’s worlds different. For Luna, who literally didn't have even a crumb in her mouth for a thousand years, even ordinary water still was so tasty beyond belief - and it's going to be even more beyond her understanding with these pineapples, which she didn't even know about. “I missed this so much! Trivial things one would think...” Luna divided a fruit in two, took out the stone and blissfully closed her eyes, eating the nectarine in her mouth entirely. Celestia has been looking at the little sister's holiday with a soft smile at the start, but became quiet as gloomy thoughts started to haunt her again. No matter how Luna set up her comb and no matter how she assures her sister in the statement that everything is fine, but Tia still was consumed by the feeling of guilt. Now it sounds right that she had to give up back in the old times, to give sister everything that she wanted - just to make her happy... But what it could have led to? There’s no way to find out this anymore. Instead, she exiled her unfortunate, unappreciated and lone sister Woona to the Moon for a long millennium... Too long... Now it was clear why she was so shy on the party in Ponyville and why she was drinking tea without sugar, so hated by her, with such pleasure - she just wanted to be swallowed by long-forgotten feelings, which she didn't feel all these ten centuries. And it demonstrated more and more to Tia how cruel and unforgiving her punishment was. It was not the right way! Fine, even an exile, if no other choice is given, but five hundred years! Three hundred! “What? Sorry, didn't hear it.” Luna looked at the elder sister questioningly. “Sorry.” Celestia smiled shyly. “Just thoughts aloud, nothing serious.” She didn't notice that she whispered the last words. Luna, based upon her hard look, didn't trust Celestia's smile at all, but decided to postpone the talk for the future. Princess of the Day decided to think over it later and finally joined her sister at the dinner, deserving from her an approving glance. ... “Your servants are so calm.” Luna noticed when entrée and seconds on the table were changed swiftly to tea and desert by coherent acts of a few ponies. “Honestly, I was afraid of being welcome as the Mare in the Moon, of being feared. But no: everyone knows me, welcomes me with honor...” Junior sister stopped to talk, choosing a tuck for herself. “Do you remember when in the old good times you and I dreamed about what country we will create and how everything will be there? Back then, I remember, there was talk of news, sometimes very important, spreading very slowly?” Tia smiled with foretaste. “Maybe there was something like that... I don't remember exactly.” Sister nodded to her with concern. “Here, I asked to bring it specially for you: a morning paper, and similar to it went off from a printing-office with the first rays of the Sun, and almost all of Equestria knows about what's written in it!” Celestia handed over the last mentioned paper by telekineses with satisfied face - “Canterlot news” with a photo of Luna herself on the front page. The Princess of the Night, with a wreath made of flowers, smiled hesitatingly, looking aside just a little. The headline was below it, written in big letters: “Princess Luna, sister of Princess Celestia, has returned! Equestria will be diarchy once again!” “Fire your artist, sister!” Luna twisted her lips sulkily, examining with her gaze her representation. “A royalty on a portrait must look majestically and be with regalia, not like a lost filly! But similarity, of course, is strong... What's going on with you?” The Princess of the Night asked her sister with bemusement, who has burst into laughter. The explanation of what a photo is has lasted around an hour, after that the talk smoothly drifted into other scientific and magical achievements of the country during all these years. It has changed so much... New cities, connected with railways, zeppelins, soaring in skies, on which earthponies and unicorns can be lifted, new genres of art, literature and music, cheap and mass printed books, accessible for every pony... Even the amount of ponies in Equestria wasn't just a few dozens of thousands, but more than a million! Head is spinning... ... After the dinner, Celestia decided to make a full excursion through the castle for her sister. Wandering in lavishly finished and decorated hallways and rooms, Luna was shocked once again how a relatively small, but serious fortress seriously changed in a thousand years, becoming a wealthy and great palace, a real center of a country. Princess was stunned by huge windows, glassed with enormous sheets of the clearest, absolutely transparent glass, omnipresent magic lamps instead of common torches, and seemingly endless library of the palace has nearly put her into awe. And also, the palace wasn't empty and silent, as she liked in her home castle of Two Sisters - this one was boiling with life. Busy servants and attendants of the palace walked by, guards saluted the Princesses, nobles formally bowed to the sisters. Celestia slowed the pace, when doors of another hall opened, allowing a crowd of ponies into the hallway. They grouped in small teams and argued about something right on the hoof, someone grouped close by walls of the hallway. They bowed to the Princesses sincerely, but no one had the courage to tap into their talk. Idyll was stopped by a gray-blue stallion with red as fire mane in an official costume and glasses on his nose, who almost rushed to block sisters’ way. “Your Highness! Princess Celestia! Please, excuse me that I’m interrupting you, but the deal has to be done immediately!” Luna scowled discontentedly, looking at the stallion who lively, but without taking his voice up was telling something to the already came and now closely listening sister. However, the Princess of the Night instantly reprobated herself for egoism and returned a neutral-welcoming aspect on her face. Her sister is running a country, and the necessary of taking a decision sometimes can force you to turn away from other things, like now... “Excuse me, sister, but I have to digress for a little bit - the question is really important.” Celestia dropped her ears guiltily, coming to the junior Princess. “Don't worry, I’ll wait.” Luna assured her, and in response Tia cheerfully nodded and went to the pony who had interrupted them - a minister probably - who still had a very worried look. This simple act warmed junior Princess’ soul: her sister didn't leave her for the job without a warning, she cares about what Luna feels. Nevertheless, the Princess of the Night wasn't given a moment to be bored: a handsome white unicorn with a golden mane and blue eyes has gone out from a quietly speaking group, which kept an eye on Luna and determinately came to her. “Your Majesty Princess Luna.” The stallion bowed suavely. “Allow me to introduce myself: Prince Blueblood, nephew of your respected sister, Her Highness Princess Celestia. It's a big honor to meet with you personally.” “We share your happiness, Your Highness Prince Blueblood. Will you not mind in a small amiability to appease Our curiosity?” “I ask you to forgive me that I didn't explain it right away, Your Highness: I’m not a reigning Prince, and moreover, not an alicorn. It’s customary to name me as: “Your Grace.” The unicorn marked his smile. “And I’ll appease your curiosity with pleasure, if I can. “Addressing had changed as well.” Princess marked it for herself fleetly. “It’s a need to clarify everything.” “Supposing that is not a secret, Your Grace, by what right you have the title of Prince?" Princess Luna eyed the dandy from head to foot. “By the right of inheritance, of course.” He was slightly surprised. “My ancestry is almost seven hundred years old, and it's going back all the way to Her Highness Princess Celestia. Honestly, it's not exactly right to call me a nephew of Her Highness technically, it’s only a fixed appealing. Did I satisfy with my answer, Your Highness?” “It’s all going back to Tia?! Well, sister... You have to tell a lo-ot to me!” “Definitely, Your Grace. Won't you narrate an answer on one another question?” “Anything, Your Highness.” “What's your post at the court?” “I lead the ministry of cartography and land cadastre of Equestria, Your Highness. Tasks of my ministry are management of lands, their categorization, accounting and mapping, and some other questions that are related to it.” “It's all We wanted to know.” Luna decided to round out the talk. It's enough for the first meeting. “Your Highness!” Prince decided to address, slightly hesitating in the beginning, seeing that Princess is going to cut the talk off. “Allow me to... Wouldn't it be too big assuredness from my side... If...” “We're listening!” The Princess of the Night decided to focus on the somehow sharply nervous unicorn anyhow. “I’d like to acknowledge my respect and admiration to you, Your Highness!” Blueblood gathered his thoughts. “I’m very interested in ancient history of our country, and, of course, couldn't pass by your unexampled deed - saving Equestria from the Mare in the Moon. Huge thanks to you for your sacrifice, Your Highness!” Prince bowed deeply and with huge respect. Luna has stunned, like a statue, painfully biting her lips. All the thoughts went out the window, leaving clicking void there. “Wouldn't it be an indelicate act from my side to ask you a few questions about these times? I, of course, addressed with these to Her Highness Princess Celestia, but sadly got no answers...” Unicorn sighed. “Sometimes I get feeling, that the auntie tries to avoid answering these...” He growled, lowering voice. “U-um... Yes, We meant no, We mean...” Stunned and perturbed Princess absolutely lost her tongue. “Thanks, Your Highness!” To the Princess Luna's utmost panic, Blueblood decided to count the answer as a positive one. “History literature doesn't give any answers from where the Mare in the Moon had came from. For sure you know more about it?” He addressed to the Princess of the Night with a gaze with burning expectation. The pause is growing on. Prince, knowing only the official version of history, truly thought that it is her, Princess Luna saved Equestria from Nightmare Moon, and deeply respected her for it... Respected for what never happened even remotely! Luna, losing scraps of her composure, didn’t know what to do under the unicorn's prying glance, when she was finally saved by Princess Celestia. “Good morning, Blueblood.” She said it warmly. Prince, not expecting a voice right behind his back, has shivered and hastily turned to the Princess of the Sun, who conspiratorially winked at the dazed sister. “Good morning, auntie!” Unicorn emphasized a bow swiftly. Luna was stunned by their clear similarity - the unicorn was strangely lengthy for a pony, had a greatly long spiky horn, and his sharply white fur was the same as Tia's fur. Most likely that the stallion didn't make it up about kindred... “I see that you’ve already acquainted with my sister? I hope that you didn't have time to wear her out with your question about your favorite historic period?” The white alicorn narrowed her eyes archly. “Did not have.” Blueblood confirmed disappointedly and made a questioning gaze to Luna, asking with eyes, did he created a problem or not? “Did not have.” Nodding, the junior Princess repeated to him it, deciding to not make needless troubles for a pony who really respected her. “Well... I hope that you would not mind if I and my sister will continue our way?” Semi-interrogatively - semi-affirmatively said the Princess of the Sun. “Of course not, auntie.” Unicorn tried to hide disappointment in his voice. “Your Highness Princess Luna, it's a big honor to meet with you personally. I hope that we will be able to end this talk, if you are not against it.” He exchange bows with Luna. “Don’t have any right to take more of your time. Good day to you, Your Highness. Goodbye, auntie.” The unicorn bowed with respect and moved away, integrating in a group of other ponies. “Thanks.” Luna exhaled with unbelievable relief only now, looking at the sister with gratefulness. She only sighed sadly in response. The official version of what had happened a thousand years ago, as it turned out, can bring problems not only with living Nightmare Moon, what was obvious and understandable since the start, but also with sister Luna, and honestly - Tia absolutely didn't think about it... ... “Sister, don't you want to tell me something?” Luna addressed to Tia when they left alone. “You want to ask about my nephew, don't you?” Celestia guessed right. “He noted that his family came from you, notably - seven hundred years ago.” The Princess of the Night nodded. “I thought we left our attempts to conceive and to give birth long time ago as fruitless and meaningless.” She sighed sorrowfully. “And wasn't it you who discourage me from serious relationships when your beloved one died because of age, Silver Wind, about whom you slop tears for a few years after? “I couldn't accept his death for eight years... I still remember this reckless stallion, for whom I wasn't a wealthy and constituent Queen, but “Tia, my sunshine.” The senior sister smiled sadly. “It’s painful that we hadn't successors...” Luna walked through the hall with thoughtfulness, remembering the times and wondering about not so desirable faith of alicorns. Back in their youth they didn't think about themselves as someones who were special. They lived as they could, dreamed about what other ponies did, about family and kids as well... But there weren't any kids, and then their loved ones just died of age at the eyes of the immortal sisters. They spent not a dozen of years, trying to puzzle out the possibility of an alicorn having descendants. Verdict - they can. With a slight chance, since common ponies endued with magic, but they do not consist of it for the biggest part as alicorns do. Search for a male alicorn wasn't successful, as the attempts to fix the situation with all manner of means. “About the Prince...” Celestia shook her head, being in thoughts herself. “Blueblood made a mistake: his family is six hundred fifty two years old, not “almost seven hundred.” Tia noted with a slight reproach in the way of her ambitious descendant, looking thoughtfully into a window. “From where did he occur... Honestly, it was cry from the heart. I missed you so much... As I did for at least someone who thought of me more than an immortal and powerful ruler... In the middle of capital boiling life, in full halls of ponies, I felt absolutely alone.” It feels familiar... Luna sighed and came closer to Tia looking into the distance and encouragingly hugged her, earning a swift thankful gaze from her. “There were no serious planes about these relationships, I didn't have them, nor the noble bombshell unicorn by the name Pure Gold, with whom we worked together a lot back in days about an education reform. The smartest pony, strong and capable magician, he was associate deputy of Secretary of Education - and was going to replace her very soon. During the collaborative work, somehow without noticing, we bonded up very close...” Celestia cut her gaze from the window, made an inviting gesture and started to move to the exit. Luna followed her, pondering about sister’s story. “The result of this bonding was a shock for both of us. Nevertheless, our relationships had never transformed into intimate ones, and he, with all the will in the world, couldn't cross the distance between “Princess Celestia” and “Tia” until his death, and he constantly blamed himself for this and had been asking for a forgiveness. It’s a surprise, but the birth of our filly didn't help at all.” The Princess of the Day pushed the doors open and stepped forward with Luna to a front porch, grades of which came down to a garden. The sisters stepped to a grassy way and started to slowly head in the way of a small arbor. “At first, I thought that my daughter is the whole world.” Celestia continued her story. “But a few years later I suddenly realized that when she, this little cute unicorn, dies at my hooves of age - I will not survive this. Painfully, bitterly, contrary, against my better judgment, I had to put some distance between us. I tried to convince myself through my own tears: “I can't be attached to her!” Tia sighed heartbreakingly, looking into the clear sky with an unduly concentrated gaze. “Well, I succeeded.” The Princess of the Sun summarized sadly, being able to control her own emotions. “Sun Beam's death of age didn't kill me... But the fact of her addressing to me as “Your Majesty” badly hurt me for a long period of time.” In an awkward pause, Luna thought that maybe it was easier for her on the Moon than for her sister here, doomed to loneliness among ponies, whose century, alas, is a very short one... “The end.” Tia smiled exhaustedly and somehow sadly. “You know, for all these years I have never been realizing so clearly that you’re the only one for me, and it seems, no other would come. I waited for your return so much...” Celestia hugged her sister in a long cuddle. Luna, not being able to find a word, just hugged her in response. “A little later, however, I got a new hope that we will not be the only ones, seeing the generations passing by.” Tia continued quietly. “I will acquaint you with Mi Amore Cadenza soon. I think you’ll be very surprised.” “You intrigued me.” Luna chuckled. “So.” After a few minutes, the senior sister broke the hugs unwillingly. “It’s time to change day to night already. Are you going to rise the Moon?” She smiled at her sister. “Me?!” Luna was stunned. “But... I thought... After everything that's happened...” She hesitated. “That I will not allow you to do so?” Celestia cocked her eyebrow sarcastically, but the temperature in the garden went down for a few degrees because of her voice. “Luna, you can do anything. Absolutely anything. If you want, I can abdicate from the throne for you, to rule Equestria yourself. I will do it.” She said it to her sister while being dead serious. Luna, at first, wanted to fiercely oppose Tia, that “she's crossing the line and everything is an unnecessary and...” She understood it: the Princess of the Sun was ready for anything, in an effort to not lose her little sister again. But she herself, Princess Luna, in her turn, will do anything to not lose Tia, so her variant will not be anything more than words. "Thanks for trusting me, Tia.” The Princess of the Night dropped it silently. “Anything for you, Woona.” Her sister said it in the same way. “So, are you going to raise the Moon?” Cheered up, she asked more loudly. “I think no.” The blue alicorn said slightly embarrassed. “I fear that my magic is not in the best condition to do so.” ... “So unusual to see it in that form.” Celestia said thoughtfully, looking at the smooth surface of the Moon, hanging on the horizon. Sisters slowly walked through a night garden, planning to not go back into the palace so fast and enjoying being alone. “It was different?” Luna asked her sister slightly surprised. “It was. No more than three days ago there was your profile, made of craters. I barely remember that it was like this now...” Tia said absently. The Princess of the Night didn't say a word, having no clue what to say - any answer at this point seemed out of place. “You know... I suppose, that only today, at the dinner, looking at your reaction to all these basic things, which you had lost there.” Tia nodded at the Moon. “I absolutely understood how wrong I was to you, banishing for such an enormous duration... It's hard to me to even imagine how you survived this... Excuse me, sister.” How she survived... Thanks to her black side that had been fueling her rage and revenge, that had been forcing to clench teeth and to try more - to find a way out, to create a plan of war, to get ready for the battle with her sister, for the battle, after which only one will be left standing. Her own hate gradually went silent, only the realization of what she did came to her, the realization of what happened... The feeling of a mistake that is not possible to fix. But the darkness was close by, fueled the hate, called upon revenge, demanded blood! And then, Luna was scared. Scared that her dark side can take the lead, that her repentance will not be full and would turn into apathetic anticipation at first, and then into animosity, that will say to her that the waiting was too long and undeserved. Nightmare Moon, looking for new tactics of fighting, also brought a topic about the magic of dream walking, but the primitive mind of the dark ghost didn't saw a piece in a dozens of well-weighed variants, and this became the salvation for Luna. A few dozens of years of thorough work, gradual nervous tension, fear before the fact that what could have happened if the idea didn't work... It worked. It worked as intended. Six hundred years buzzed by, like there weren't there, and the pink eyes of her sister arose before her gaze, and she was anxious about her health, standing on the background of the time-worn walls of the ancient castle of Two Sisters. There was no place to be concerned... But the last thoughts of the being, in whom Luna saw only her dark reflexion in a mirror, somehow, burnt her soul and bothered her during her sleep. What if she made a mistake? “Think nothing of it, Ti.” Luna shook her head in response. “What you said to me, honestly, makes me think that you punished yourself a way harder than me. It should have been the other way around, I deserved it at least, compared to you...” The junior sister sulked, looking dully at the grass that tramples down under her hooves with every step. “Luna...” Celestia tried to argue, but silenced, failing to find words. A silence hanged amid the sisters. Alicorns walked through a night garden in a slow pace, listening to crickets and looking at fireflies, which are spinning like glowing dots over night flowers, which opened in the Moon light. The Princesses made a circle and went back to the road, that is leading to the side of the Moon, radiating on the horizon. “And... What was there, on the Moon?” Celestia decided to ask at last. Luna darkened, looking away from Tia. This is it, the question, which she feared and waited simultaneously. There was a desperate desire to not tell the details to anyone. “Luna, what happened between you and Nightmare?” The senior Princess asked quietly in response to the dour silence of her sister. The Princess of the Night shivered, throwing off the pace. How could she forget! Tia, as recently as yesterday, was going to attend Nightmare Moon that was kept alive for some reason. And the sister’s question meant only one: the visit ended in a talk, not in a fight. Tia wouldn't have found a common language with the ghost of hate. And it can mean only one thing... 10. CertaintyAuthor's Note "The day after..." Original author's note. 10. Certainty I walked across the room again, turned around, reared up and, finally, jumped, helping myself with my wings. Nothing hurts or bothers me, and there are no unpleasant feelings. “Thank you!” I said to Celestia that was watching my moves, smiling. Today she examined me and finally said that I was completely fine. I don't know how long it would have taken me to heal without her help, but thanks to that my recovery lasted only for four days! It was unusual to walk on four limbs, but thankfully I wasn’t wrong about my reflexes and they really helped me. I made another lap around the room and approached Princess. “Want to take a stroll?” She asked. “I wouldn't mind.” I nodded. “I hope it won't be necessary to defend myself from the guards that are going to try and save you from the monster's captivity, hmm?” I smiled. Tia looked confused for a second, it seemed like she didn’t think how she was going to tell everyone about me, focusing only on secrecy for now. I didn’t even hear any hoofsteps last four days except for hers, and she always came alone. As if nobody even visits this corridor, not even the servants! “Why would we need to see the guards?” Princess found an answer and looked into the window. “The garden is under our windows.” Her face showed mischievous expression, as if she was about to do something fun and eccentric. She moved the curtains with telekinesis. Then she climbed the windowsill and told me: “Waiting you at the bottom!” And jumped. Feeling completely lost, I watched as the colorful tail disappeared. What the hell was that? I looked out of the window. My god, it’s the fourth floor! Celestia playfully winked at the bottom, visually pleased by her pampering. What should I do now? I can't fly! I’m going to slam into the ground like a sack and get in the bed again, healing more fractures. I looked down again and gulped. Tia didn't pay attention to me anymore, looking at some kind of bug crawling on a flower. Trying not to look down, I started climbing the windowsill. It's thin like a stick! I had to put my haunches as close to my front legs as possible. Trying not to slide back into the room, I swayed, almost falling outside, but managed to stabilize myself with my wings. My blood froze, my throat got sore. A light breeze of wind touching my wet back made me shiver, «It's like jumping with a parachute... except I don’t have one!» I nervously smiled. “Nightmare! What's wrong? Is everything okay?” Heck, I almost fell again, being scared by suddenness of this question. “No!” I answered honestly. “I couldn’t fly on the Moon! I just don't remember how to do it!” “Oh...” Tia drooped for some reason, but then shaking her head, raised her head again. “Jump, I will catch you!” It’s still scary! But I have to! I'd have to start learning how to fly eventually, so why shouldn’t I start now? Especially with Celestia keeping me safe. I suppressed my will to look down. I know how this effect works. It’s like cold water: the longer you touch it with your leg, hesitating - the colder it feels, so you feel less confident. I made a deep breath. Three! Two! One! I push myself out of the window and spread my wings. Wind slams my face, taking my breath away for a moment. Open the eyes! I said open!!! Oh, God! The ground's coming! Fast! I make a few flaps faster than I can think about it, stabilizing my flight and slowing the descent. I didn’t have enough time to celebrate, because I caught a tree branch with my wings and lose my very unstable equilibrium, so a glide turns into a fall. The world turns before my eyes, the wing burns. I have enough time only to close my eyes and fold all my limbs, bracing for impact, as I crash into some kind of bush, breaking twigs with a loud crack and... get stuck in place, like a fly in a jelly. “Nightmare! Are you okay?” Celestia's voice sounds concerned, almost frightened. Why does she unironically care about me? I will never understand her. I open my eyes and look around. Turns out I was hovering above ground. By the way, my both hind legs fold fine... I stretch my limbs and Tia carefully puts me on grass. “I am, princess. But my pride took a hit.” I answer the question. Well, first time for everything, I guess. And thank god Celestia caught me. “Can I?..” She points at my wing. I nod. A familiar tickling sensation rolls across my body. “Open your wing.” I quietly do as I told. Doesn't feel like something serious. Slight discomfort. “Everything is fine.” princess said, proving my theory. Well, it could be worse. “Thank you.” I smile. “Let's go?” Tia suggested after a few seconds of silence. She returns to her usual, friendly face, but for some reason it still seems like her mood worsened. “Come on, I am fine. After all, I still should have remembered how to fly sooner or later, so it was a matter of time when I had to jump out of the window.” I chuckled, but the Princess went even gloomier. Um... I thought she was worrying about her jump, thinking that she forced me to do so too and this almost ended poorly, but it seems like something worries her. “Celestia?” I looked at the gloomy princess. “Everything is fine.” she unconvincingly smiled. Well, okay. I won't push her, she knows what she is doing. If she doesn't want to tell, then fine. We’ll walk in silence. ... Her garden is amazing! The roads are marked only by stones on their sides, there is no pavement, so you can enjoy pleasant and soft touch of grass on your legs. Carefully trimmed bushes, trees that are giving a nice shade, bewitchingly great compositions made of flowers and clean air, filled by its smells. I breathe deeper, closing my eyes with pleasure. This is nice... Submerged in pleasant feelings, I noticed that we came to the other part of the garden only when my hooves started to loudly clang on paving stones that suddenly appeared under my hooves. It looks more like a park rather than garden now, cobbled roads, lamps, benches, the noise of a fountain can be heard somewhere nearby. A statue of some pegasus stands In the niche between the bushes: he proudly stands with his wings open. What a natural, great sculpture. Sculptor even managed to make his fluttering mane. Impressive, really. I catch up with Tia, she is so busy with her thoughts that she didn't even notice that I have stopped, walking past me, I kind of like her silence less and less by every second... I stopped directly in her path. “Sorry...” confusedly said alicorn, stumbling into me. That's bad. “You don’t look like yourself. What happened?” I stare into her eyes. “Nothing. Everything is fine, really. I just... need to think.” Celestia forced a smile. She does really look a little better than before, but this still doesn't look «fine» “You don't trust me? Well, I can understand why...” Why did I even think that she would be frank with me. And it’s still not very pleasant to think about it. “The trust doesn't matter! Just...” We come around the corner, and my sight stumbles on an unusual statue of some grotesque creature, which looks as if it was stitched from different body parts... From different body parts. I suddenly remembered one of Nightmare's creations back on the Moon. I involuntarily step back, almost slipping on a rock, I shake my head trying to get rid of intrusive vision. No! Fuck that! I don't want to remember! “... with you?! Nightmare!” I regain my senses from Tia's scared voice, she looked frightened. I cover my eyes and slowly breathe, calming myself. I didn’t expect such a move from my brain. This damned chaos spirit managed to cause the associations that make me scared to go deep into my memories, the ones about the time I’ve spent on the Moon, especially the last one or two hundred years. “Let’s go away from here.” I propose to the Princess, and turn back, not waiting for her response. “What happened?” Celestia demandingly asked, catching up to me. “Happy memories of living on the Moon.” “After... When you were left alone?” Princess clarifies with sadness in her voice. “I talked to Luna two days ago, and...” She falls silent, struggling to find words, I am walking on the paved road next to Tia, listening to the sound of our hoof stomps. All the good mood that I had this morning vanished. Exile isn't the topic that I can calmly talk about. Things that happened to Nightmare are scorched into my brain with red-hot steel. And searing pain will remain for a long time, while an ugly scar will be eternal. “What happened to you... there?” Quietly asked Princess, as if talking to herself. After a brief pause, I decided to answer. “Let me tell you this... If you get bored and decide to get rid of me, then kill me as cruel as you want, burn me alive if you will. Even this will be way more merciful than the exile back to the Moon.” I genuinely believe that. I would really choose anything over exile. And this makes me scared. “Why?!” Celestia barely managed to ask. A fleeting look at her is enough to understand that my words shocked her. “Because a terrible ending is better than terror without an end, princess.” I conclude this talk. My mood gets even worse. Honestly, I want to send this white horse far away, and seclude myself with a bottle or two of really hard spirit, just to get wasted and forget about this dialogue next morning. “I am sorry, Nightmare. I shouldn't have... A thousand years is unfair and cruel to you and Luna...” She bitterly spoke. She asks me for forgiveness?! I stop in my tracks, silently looking at the drooping Princess, trying to understand what is happening and how I should react. And this exile really torments her. Especially after her sister told her what she did. She cares about what I feel. She cares about what she did to me in the past. Why?! What does she have to do with me anyway? Who am I to her? Damned ponies, what the hell is on your mind?! “But did you have a choice? Don't the Elements decide how to affect someone on their own? Did anyone wanted for me to return with Luna? Still, the Elements of Harmony gave me my own body, and now I am here.” “I never thought about it this way...” Slightly cheered up, Princess replies thoughtfully. "Weirdly enough, I am not mad at you, although... It didn't cost you anything to get rid of me back there, in the castle. No pony - no problem, you know... No one would have said anything. Instead, you are taking risks by delivering me back into the palace, actually healing and helping me... I still don't understand why are you doing this, to be honest.” “Thanks for the kind words.” Celestia smiled with relief. “You're welcome.” I smiled back. “It's not hard if it's for you. If you are kind to me, then I will reply with kindness. Plus, it's the blue nonentity that we both know, who's to blame for my bad condition,” I conclude. “Nightmare... I understand your feelings, but Luna is my sister after all.” Tia reprimands me. “Sorry.” I say indifferently, causing a sigh from Princess. Celestia gives me a reproachful look and continues the walk towards the garden. I join her. For some time, we both walk in silence, each thinking about own things. Celestia finally doesn't look gloomy and withdrawn: white alicorn looks around, squints at the Sun, sometimes smiles to her own things. I don't know if I told her the truth about the Elements, but my hypothesis is logical, and I am really not mad at her. It's weird of course. Personally, there is no reason for me to be mad at Luna too, but I am literally furious thinking about her. How much of me is there in me, really? It's useless to deny that Nightmare's memory changed me, but how much? And why did it happen so seamlessly? Actually, should I worry about this? We all inevitably change as the time passes due to certain conditions. It was just a little faster in my case and that's it. I am worried about the future. I am healed, there is no point of holding me in the castle... Anyway, why should I guess? Nothing would happen if I ask. “Princess?” “Yes?” Tia surfaced from her thoughts. “What should I do next? Now when I am healed and feeling relatively fine?” I demandingly looked in Celestia's eyes. “It's a hard question.” She sighed. “You see... Your appearance together with Luna is something incredible. I expected Elements returning me my sister, but I never thought that this may be the result.” “It was a surprise, I bet.” I smiled, but Tia didn't share my enthusiasm. “As you can understand, I was preparing for Luna's return.” she continued. “The official version of things that had happened a thousand years back goes as follows: Luna sacrificed herself to forever imprison the evil spirit that attacked Equestria - you - on the Moon.” Uh huh... And now this «evil spirit», that turned out to be intelligent and negotiable, walks on the ground with Luna. And you somehow have to explain its existence. Great. “I am really sorry that this happened.” Tia looked at me guiltily. “But who could've supposed that would happen?” “I understand...” What can I say? Looks like I am going to see a lot of panicking ponies from now on, running away from me and screaming «Don't kill me, I have children!» and so on... “And as you can understand, it's really hard to think of any options because of that. First, I wanted to invite you to stay here for some time more, but... Sorry, I am afraid that soon I won’t be able to pay you enough attention - my short vacation is ending soon. You could have kept adjusting to the new atmosphere without my participation, with Luna for example, but knowing your relationship...” Princess sighed. “And your servants, guards, aristocracy and others won't be enthusiastic to meet and help me.” I finished Celestia's phrase. “Sadly, it is true.” She agreed. “Of course, I won't leave this situation «as it is», but it will take a lot of time to change it. So, there is only one option left for you, which is heading over to my personal student in Ponyville. She will help you get used to the changed world, and this is going to be an important friendship lesson for her.” «Changed world», huh? You can't even imagine how correct you are, Celly.... And of course, you are going to be silent about the fact that your student and her friends can pet me with their rainbow. I can understand her approach: keep your friends close, and your enemies even closer. More so, I can’t really object. The situation in the mentioned town is known to me from canon, and I can’t say so about the rest of Equestria, and especially to everything else abroad. Also, there is one yellow pegasus that saved my life, according to the information that I've got. And it seems like I am in debt. “Okay, I am fine with that.” I said, after thinking this idea through. “What are my targets and goals in Ponyville, and what resources can I have?” Celestia slowly turned to me with a puzzled and lost look. I kept my face straight. “What targets and goals, Nightmare?!” Celestia came to her senses. “Settle in, find out about all the achievements that magic and technology have had in the past centuries, find friends... Just live as all do! You are free in your decisions, I am just trying to help you get the most out of your unusual circumstances, more so, I am the reason why you have all these problems. You can leave Ponyville if you are sure you can manage everything by yourself. About the money... I can provide you with a decent starting sum, plus I can give you monthly payments.” Yeah, of course she's going to leave me without any supervision. Go wherever you want, uh huh... Our purple librarian is likely to get instructed to report about every step I make. If I would go anywhere else, they would find out where, go find me and politely suggest returning to Ponyville. What else? The news about the money is good... But the idea of getting paid for nothing, honestly, doesn't feel nice to me. But on the other side, it is necessary at least at first, before I can think of anything I can do and where I can earn money. And about «live as others do»… I feel completely lost, and it's really uncomfortable. Anyway, we’ll see how it goes. For now, I really have to learn how to use magic, fly and familiarize myself with a dozen of everyday problems... “So be it.” I nodded to Princess. “I am glad that you agreed.” She smiled. “I am going to send a letter to my student today. I’m also going to order to prepare a chariot for you tomorrow morning. Is it fine by you?” “As you wish.” So, tomorrow. There are no reasons for me to extend my stay in the palace. While talking, we turned away from the park's pavement to the grass road, slowly going back to the clearing where we started this walk. A good mood started to return in this chill atmosphere. Sun warmed my back, grass gently caressed my legs, the air was filled with the flower aroma. It feels great... And I felt easier too. Finally, there is some certainty about what is going to happen to me next. I managed to get along with Tia, even though I don’t understand why. And if my words about the Elements helped her to calm down, then it's perfect. She did a lot for me in the last few days. She even gave me a small magic lesson yesterday, after my examination. An hour doesn't seem like much, but I really wanted to figure it out, and Tia turned out to be a great teacher, so by the end of her lesson I stopped messing up my telekinesis, and I also learned a couple of simple things... Then the Princess left me and I got to reading. Well, foreshadowing... Having read Tia's note for me during my first awakening in the palace, I didn't even consider that this note was written in ancient Equestrian. And reading books using its modern variant turned out to be a problem. Some of the letters are missing, some of them are pronounced differently, the words changed, unknown terms... I struggled, but continued reading understanding one word after two. What else could I do? Of course, my first book was «Magic basics. Volume one. Twelfth edition», but it wasn't surprising that I only understood prepositions, my knowledge of the language was clearly lacking for this book. From the «simpler» books there was a compilation of old fairy tales, except not the kid's variant, but some kind of study with commentaries to the stories and their analysis. Even skipping all the scientific words, it still was really hard to digest this text. So, this was one of the reasons why didn't object against Ponyville and contact with the lavender librarian, who can help me better than her? If she wants to, though... Submerged in my thoughts I didn’t notice that we returned to the clearing. “Uh... What next?” I asked Tia, looking at the opened window of my room, about fifteen meters above ground. Tia looked at the window, then turned to me and promisingly smiled. 11. A Hard Question“Nightmare! Get up!” Celestia’s soft, but uncompromising voice broke through my dream. I reluctantly unglued eyelids and blinked a few times, dropping the remains of the dream from myself. By the feeling - I got a good night’s sleep. Generally. Don't see any lack of energy, only wings are moaning from yesterday... Princess gave me a joyful ending of the yesterday’s walk, bastard. Here we go, I think I feel hunger. Welcome back, damn it... Why? It was so good without you... I’m getting out of the blanket and almost routinely standing on my own four hooves, soft pads of which are nicely tickling fluff of carpet. Celestia, standing half-turn to me, is keeping an eye at something behind a window. “Good morning.” She turns to me when I end stretching and crunch with my spine and wings. “Greetings.” I nod in answer. “When is my flight to Ponyville?” “When you end your things to do here.” Princess said it like it was out of the question. “What things do I even have? I have none here, and there... Honestly, I have no clue what to do in Ponyville except for my own acquisition in the world and prodigalize your money.” I waved with my fore leg with vexation. I thought about it yesterday before sleep. I don't like this situation, and I couldn't come up with something. “Hm...” Celestia closely gazed at my croup. Hey, what's that gaze all about?! If she suggests settling down in a bar and making living by throwing marked part of my body about - I’ll strike her! Wait. I’m an idiot! Come on, what do ponies have on their croups? Ri-i-ight, a picture. And until now I didn't even bother to find out which one I have on my hull back albeit there’s a mirror nearby! Got too excited yesterday and the day before it so much that I didn't even examine myself for a bit. Damn, I didn't even remember about the mark for these days, although it's not surprising probably... “Identical, except for small parts.” Princess said, making a verdict with shadows of wonder in her voice, raising a distrustful gaze at me. What's she talking about? “I've realized, that your cutie mark is almost identical to the Luna's cutie mark.” Tia answered at the unspoken question. “She has a crescent against a black cloud, you - against a purple one. And I almost sure that even shape of these clouds are the same! I see it for the first time ever. Related marks - yes, it's reality, but almost identical?” She shook her head. “And what's my talent in that case?” I tried to turn my head to see my mark. To not small surprise - I did, although only with one eye. “Luna's talent tied with the night and dream. She controls the Moon and stars, she's capable of entering the world of dreams, where she can watch, change and even create dreams of other ponies, or even hers.” Celestia discovered it to me with thoughtfulness. “Your talent, undoubtedly, is also tied with the night, but how - I don't know. Supposedly, your talents are in the same fields if your cutie marks are so similar...” Celestia started to gaze at my croup again. “When in doubt leave it out.” I turned to Princess with all my body, cutting off her view to my hind feet. “The skill of raising the Moon isn't going to be very useful in Ponyville.” “When in doubt leave it out...” Tia chuckled. “An interesting phrasing. What does it mean?” I bit my tongue, calling myself an idiot once again. Watch out with the idioms that are not known here! Nightmare Moon's credit of trust is low even without this, and who knows to what level it drops if someone would understand that me isn't she? “It means: “Postpone this problem so it does not bother to solve others, more emergent or important.” I made it up on the hoof. “Where I know it from - don't ask, I simply don't remember it.” “Fine, let’s leave it out.” Princess nodded after a few second, accepting my explanation. “Though we cannot understand your talent - try to find profession to your liking, and, maybe, you’ll solve this enigma by yourself and find your talent.” Celestia marked a smile. “I’ll try to talk with Luna - maybe she has some guesses.” “Go as far away as you can and do something”? I thought with a mix of distrust and bewilderment. No, I can't understand Celly. Leave off such a character with my reputation without any specific job, even though under some supervision... Fine, her problems. “About your things to do here.” Continued Princess. “Don't you want to make a light meal or take a shower? “Shower?” Damn it, there’s a shower here? Why didn't you say it right on the spot? They settled into a groove very well in the castle... “Earlier, if you remember, pegasi washed under clouds, calling rain. And now this rain of water with any pleasant temperature is in almost any house.” Celestia understood my exclamation in her way. “Let's go?” “Won't be against it.” I nodded and followed Princess. We walked out of the room in a lonely and silent hallway. There are no windows - lighting is made of some strange candelabra, giving soft warm light. I couldn't examine the source of it, but it's undoubtedly not an electric lamp. And there was nothing more interesting in the hallway. Obviously, they put me out of sight in the most seldom-visited corner of the castle - there’s even almost none of decor. However, in my situation, even this entertainment triggered dismay with gratefulness. Seriously count on something better than a comfortable individual cell for a character with such reputation was out of the question, but...She surprised me. Being busy with thoughts - what time? - about Celestia's reasons and aims, I didn't even notice how we came. Princess thoroughly instructed me about the system of ponies’ shower, some household chemicals, the way back to the room and after wishing me to enjoy the process, made a bow, leaving me alone. ... Ponies’ bathroom equipment is rather tricky, with massive gripes for teeth or hooves standing out especially - they planned it for every race of ponykind. I tried to move them without telekineses just out of curiosity. After the day before yesterday’s lesson and yesterday’s intense practice, which I organized for myself, telekineses goes almost without any stress. What to say? Fairly ergonomic, but it’s still a pair of crutches. Who does not have the ability of telekineses - they're fine, I think, but it’s still a lot easier and more comfortable with the magic. Pile of flasks, which stood here, impresses with its variety. Shampoo for mane and tail, gel for fur, liquid for hooves, essence for feathers, toothpaste, some foams, creams, masks and who the hell knows what else and for what purpose. I silently thanked Princess for her explanation that was put briefly and was about the things I’ll need. She put aside needed flasks, and there are four of them. Shower puff is also not in use amongst ponies; instead, I discovered some brushes and scrapers with cleverly hooped grips. Well, this thing is for this, but what about this thing? Ah, to hell with it, why do I have to look at them? I’ll understand in the process - what and where to. I grabbed liked exemplar, almost turned to the shower, but spotted a big standing mirror on a wall out of the corner of my eye, laid aside the brush and moved to it. I remembered that I didn't bother to examine my appearance yesterday, so I want to fix it. It’s interesting for Christ's sake! “Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the scariest one of all? Who has the sharpest teeth and the blackest of all has been?” While chuckling, I summarized the minutes I have been gazing at my reflexion. No, I liked my new appearance in general: the body looked elegantly and menacingly, like a military aircraft. It's beautiful in this way - the way of arms. But there are serious doubts about local pacifists and their opinions towards it. Anthracitic-black fur, deep purple, slightly crimp mane and tail, luminous turquoise eyes with vertical pupils like interstices. Honestly - this gaze makes even me feel uncomfortable. I can only wonder how Celestia keeps her friendly expression looking in my eyes... But the most interesting was below: chops - I can't name it mouth even with force - that can impress you with eight incisors, a real saw made of - just imagine! - sixteen fangs, the longest of which will force any vampire to be jealous, and some amount of permanent teeth, but I couldn't count how much. I, of course, pretty far away from the knowledge of biology and stomatology, but, if my memory doesn't fail me, such a kit of teeth is unusual for herbivores: at least I didn't see any fangs in Celestia's mouth. This conclusions brings up two questions: would this body be happy about eating meat and how much nervous the ponies would be about this? I should check this out, heh... Ending with the survey, I finally went to the shower itself, foretasting pleasant pricking of its streams on my skin... Or, if to be precise, on my fell, maybe. ... I was thoughtful and dark when I went out from shower: during the washing I clearly understood: it's not “he is an idiot”, now it’s “SHE is an idiot”. Put the problem in a dark corner and diligently ignore it would be effective until you bump into the udder. Your own udder, fucking hell! A pair of small soft and very sensitive hills under the belly between hind legs forces into stupor and prostration. No, I knew that Nightmare Moon, whose body I have occupied, is not a stallion, quite the contrary, but this encounter with reality head-on is still quite stunning. What to do with it, eh? There are no ideas of solving it, so the only thing I could make up and what was not so seriously protesting inside my soul is the continuation of keeping the problem in a dark corner, trying to not think about it and keeping celibacy, hoping that the physiology of local ponies differences from earth horses in this case. Change of species is more than enough for me even without change of sex, really... On the another hand, the body I've been given is a really good one. No danger of being old, no danger of being dead of sicknesses or a really low chance of it. Health - I chuckled - horsy, it’s time to till the ground. It’s just not what it used to be, when a walk to a cardiologist was more often than to a hairdresser... And I’m not even talking about horn and wings, whose abilities bemuse and make the heart soar. Is it worth to change sex for it? From a rational point of view, maybe, yes and more. But the only thought of it and it's uncomfortable and... Scary, I don’t know. Fine, when in doubt leave it out. How much can I think about bad things? Let’s think about good ones! For example: a man walked out from the shower room and he's so clean... “Or she's so clean?” “Dammit.” I tiredly swore at this completely ill-timed short thought and shook my head, trying to force it out of my head. It’s enough of thoughts for me! It’s time to go back, Princess can miss me completely. With a definite step I went out in the hallway. Tia said to go?.. Fine, she reminded me of this more than once - I completely didn't watch out for the way back while thinking about things. Left until the crossroad, the last door on the left of it before it is mine, I think so. OK, let's go. I’ll think about my... “Hill under the belly” after some time. And it's better for this time to come as late as possible. ... When I returned to the room, in which I have been for the last couple of days, I saw a luncheon made of some salad, a few fruits, cakes and tea, and also a note and... I couldn't believe my eyes: near me, on the bed, a set of armor was put together. Four shoes, a breastplate with a crescent on it and a distinctive helmet with notches for ears and horn. I gravely rubbed my forehead under horn with a hoof, and with every second a feeling of being a victim of some prank or I’m just an idiot is growing. Now it was a habit to put a drip of energy into my horn to drag the note up to my eyes. “I hope you enjoyed your bath, Nightmare. As you could see, I returned your armor. If they were on you back in the old castle, I think that it's rightly yours and I believe this is a need to give it back to you. Your breakfast on your table. Enjoy your meal. Celestia.” I eased my grip on the note, thoughtlessly looking as it's sliding and spinning in the air, slowly dropping to carpet. This insane white horse will wrench my brain soon. For an interest: if I demand my glaive - she will bring it back as well? Why not? It's allowable to give lessons of magic to yesterday’s public criminal, to pay money and to give back her battle gear - why shouldn't we give a weapon to her? With all my force of will I suppressed the desire of going to a wall and crushing my head against it. Why is she doing this, why?! Or she's so confident in her powers that she can afford such wide gestures to buy my loyalty? I lifted the note and read it again. Fine, it's better to not think about it for now. Never slap a gift horse. I’ll think about this pile of iron later when Tia arrives. It's better to look at what they have to feed me - my stomach gave a tip to me multiple times about the voidness there. It was so good without hunger... I thoughtfully looked at the bed and found a place near it, sat right on the carpet. I was laying for the last week as a bunch of lazy bureaucrats. And I never tried to sit like a pony, constantly rotating standing with laying, so it was just interesting about the feeling of it. It's actually more comfortable than it might look from another side - I weighed the pose for a few minutes and finally turned my attention to the table. To begin with, the first one was the salad. It, for the first look, depresses with its shortage of everything: no meat, no fish, no even such basic things as mushrooms or eggs. I know these: for even a slight feeling of having a good meal you have to eat a whole basin, but you’ll be hungry after an hour... I winced. Will try it, of course - maybe it would be tasty in my mouth. What was more remarkable than this small hill of vegetation is a spoon, forced into it, and at the end of grip of this spoon was not a big round slab. Well... I touched the slab with my hoof and with a small force of mind I got a spoon that was glued to my limb like it was a powerful magnet. Hey, it worked! This hoofkenesis works! I was lucky to see and feel its usage in the Nightmare's memory, but I had no time to test it - I got used to use my horn... I shook the leg toughly - it holds. Funny thing. But a hand is still more comfortable. Except for the salad with an interesting spoon there was a vase with fruits on the table - some big, beautiful apples and peaches - a small kettle with tea - or, more likely, a tea bowl - without any grip and a plate with a decent hill of various cakes. Well, let's sample it! “Enjoy your meal!” I said to myself loudly and saluted with a spoon, glued to my hoof into space with a smile. ... Yeah, I didn't except that... I didn't think that it's possible to get a sensory shock because of taste sensations. I swept an eye over the empty dishes at the table. Everything has been eaten, there’s no crumb left! It was the nicest meal of my life! And, maybe, there wouldn't be like this again - I will get used to it. I made a fast statement that this storm of feelings in mouth is a result of a thousand-year starvation. The body missed tastes... I swept the table with my gaze once again and sighed hopelessly. No, there’s nothing left. Even peaches’ stones - even they... Well, they disappeared. Its bitterness was so piquant, they crunched so well, ah... I got on my feet, feeling a pleasant heaviness in stomach, and turned to the bed, where the elements of armor lay. Yeah, Tia loaded me... What is it? A friendly gesture of trust? Some test? If test - about what? Damn it! And as much as I know her, it would be fine for her to give for nothing to me because of the reason she wrote in the note. And then she perplexedly shrugs with her wings on all my questions: “I just gave back what’s yours and that's all”... Mad horses, I have no other words... Degree of believe and carelessness is just uncountable! Or I just don't understand something or can't see something, it must be counted. Lastly, I imagine abilities of magic very vaguely. Maybe Tia, as a wizard of extra-class, can afford such behavior... But not with Nightmare Moon that almost killed her in the stand-out performance! I plunked onto the wide bed with a moan and gazed at the laying helmet just before my nose. There was a complete incomprehension in my head. During the waiting of Princess - she couldn't let me be alone for that long - I lifted the helmet with telekinesis and started to look at it. Made of smooth and shining silvery metal with a blue reflux. It was a secret to me how it was made, as I'm not a specialist, but it's not forging apparently. Weighed on a hoof - pretty much light for its proportions. At the top - notches for the horn and ears. At the back - elastic tabulate neck-flap covers neck, including sides. At the front - huge cut-outs for huge eyes. Nasal covers only face between eyes, prominent muzzle is staying without any protection. Inside - resilient paddy casing made of an unknown material for me. Measurement of the helmet cannot be regulated - it was made for only one specific head. I put the helmet aside. A strange product. On one hand, it looks practical, and by the scratches and small fractures - this helmet is battle-hardened. But from another side, for a battle helmet its protection - not to mention the rest of armor - straightly looks insufficient. Eyes are not covered, horn and ears are not covered, neck at the front as well... Or the warfare in this place is a different from ours and a light breastplate and a helmet, that doesn't cover evident weak points is an adequate protection for the local conditions. Generally, for my taste - this whole pile of gear gives only symbolic protection and most likely needs to be put on only for creation of the canonical character of Nightmare Moon. In the end, if I’m going to fight - I have to find or even create a good set of armor. I think the fact that Tia gave me this armor may not look so strange now. Where to use it, really? For a parade this set is too simple, for a fight - too useless. So she gave me them with words: “Let Nightmare have a headache what to do with all of this.” I chuckled. Lifted the helmet with telekinesis again and tried to put it on my head, deciding to not bother about mane's set: it will lay as it will. “Ouch, damn...” I hissed when I didn't fit the working horn correctly and hit it against an edge of the helmet. The feeling was like I got hit in my horn, telekinesis faded instantly when I didn't hold concentration and helmet fell at me from above, catching my bulged nose with its edge painfully. Strange feeling, really. It was not so painful when the helmet hit my horn: just something like a wave spread out from the hit place after the impact, knocking out my concentration. I think if I had been more experienced with it - I could have saved it. I carefully touched the faded horn with a hoof. A bone. A hard bone. No special sensations. I lighted a turquoise speck at the end of my horn and tried again. Boom! I feel a sensation of an impact wave in my head again, light mess in my head, I cannot hold my concentration once again and the speck vanished. An interesting effect... Will keep it in mind. I was going to examine the breastplate, but the door was opened and Celestia came in, behind her back some saddle bags soared in a golden cloud. “Chariot is here, Nightmare. Are you ready?” She went to business right of the reel. “Pretty much. Thanks for the food, it was tasty.” I thankfully nodded at her, standing up from the bed. “Listen...” I hesitated, thinking what's a better way to start. “Yes?” She turned her focused gaze of her pink eyes at me. “Explain it to me, please... Why do you care so much about me? Treatment, lessons, money... Fine, I can understand that. But armor?! What does it all mean? Why?” I shook my head distrustfully. “I don't understand you!” A confession broke out after a small pause even before I could think about it. “I already told you, that I do it from a pure heart.” Princess drooped. “Or you don't trust in my ability to be sorry about my actions? To forgive you? I’m not the Queen you were fighting with, not the Queen that couldn't sympathize and see her own mistakes!” She ended with a clinking voice. “Sorry, I didn't want to hurt you!” I looked down contritely. Damn, idiot inside of me didn't think she can react like that! It's not pleasant for her to remember those days, yes, but in reality - it really hurts her. “Sorry! But... How to say? There was a lot of things between us in the past... Not good things.” I chose a streamlined explanation. “And I think that you met me not worse than your own sister.” Celestia was listening me with an unreadable expression. It was not pleasant even for me to bring up this topic: whatever goals and aims motivated her, she made a lot for me and didn't ask anything in return. But I couldn't take it anymore. Lack of understanding of her actions already caused something like despair. It’s unlikely that she would even answer, but I couldn't hold it much longer in my own mind. The armor was the last straw. “You were speaking then: “A second chance.” I continued my thought. “It could have been understood by me if you had just healed me, gave a hundred bits for the first time and just let me out. But you take care of me - of a dangerous criminal and your recent enemy - like I’m your sibling! Why?! It just can't be!” The last words sounded somehow pathetically. “Do you know how it can be, Nightmare?” Princess asks sadly. I set my view at the floor, diligently examining my own hooves that were sinking in the soft hair of the carpet. An interesting contrast: the carpet is bright, my legs - coal-black... Do I know? I guess I do: I heard of intelligence agency's methods of doing things, albeit I will not take responsibility to judge what's true and what's not. And this is with an adjustment that the agencies are ours, human ones. What's about here, in Equestria? “No, I don't know.” I stop too prolonged pause. “But I’m sure that this is not possible.” “Was there anything good in your whole life?” Princess asked quietly, taking the breastplate from bed and now carefully examining it, looking away from me. I opened mouth to answer affirmatively... And shut it, not saying even a word. There were good things in my life, even though I remember them through serious noise. But in a sufficient degree to say that I was happy. But it was there. In the life where everything has stopped. And what was good in Nightmare's life? The only thing she remembered as a “good thing” is the vision of the solar eclipse, made by her and Luna just before the battle with the Queen. That’s all. The only good memory. For some reason I remembered a vaguely known dialog: “What's your best day of your life?” “The day of my death.” I bit a lip till pain. It's so... “You’re silent. You're silent, Nightmare.” Celestia's sad voice was heard as a rolling thunder in the silence of the bedroom. I shivered from this surprise reflexively. “You said: “A criminal, your enemy...” No, Nightmare, you're neither of this. You just a pony that never was happy and never trusted anyone... I just want to show you that there’s something better in the world than just endless fights. Show you what happiness is, what friendship is... And you deserve it too.” Princess laid the breastplate aside and turned to me. Her eyes shine strangely. “Thanks for the kind words, Princess.” I said after a pause. Except that these kind words are not for me, but for the person, from which this body is the only thing left of her... “But don't feel sorry for me, really. About trust... I trusted. I trusted Luna. You know what had happened because of that.” A heavy silence falls between us for a few long seconds. And nevertheless I chose to say everything to Tia head-on. “So now it's important for me to understand what you want to achieve by helping me. To understand what's the finale may be for me and whether I would have to pay for your hospitality a hundredfold. For me... It’s too hard to accept your kindness as something right. Sorry.” I thoughtfully stared out a window with a view of cloudless sky, suppressing a desire within to look at Tia. I wanted to trust this odd, illogical, strange kindness! What if she really did everything from a pure heart, without any subtext? It's nasty for me to offend her faith, but I just can't trust her. I can't. “I... I understand.” Celestia answered with a colorless voice. “I hope that time would heal your wounds and one day you will be able to put trust in others.” I finally turn my gaze at Princess. She dully looks at paintings on walls, keeping her neutral face, but somehow I understand that this pretend calmness is not an easy task for her. “Well, if it would be easy for you, you can think that since you're an alicorn - you’re of a great value for Equestria by the mere fact of your existence and my profit is in that fact.” Celestia turned to me and represented a smile. Damn it. Didn't want to offend her. But I couldn't trust in this either! What did I have to do? I sighed and took a shoe from the bed. Wanted to say more, but didn't have words for it. Celestia, while thoughtfully examining a pattern on the carpet, did not have either. I set the shoe on the floor and carefully put my hind left leg in it. A silent click of the holding mechanism sounded like a shot in the dangling quiet, which forced musing Princess to get back into reality and shudder as she was looking at me again. “Can I help you?” “If you want to.” I moved my wing vaguely. In a concentrated silence Tia helped me to robe in the armor, fixating the bags on my shoulders she brought with her before leaving. Design of these, unlike to the classic for other ponies, was made to not bother the user’s wings. “There’s money for a start until you get familiar.” Princess explained. “Let’s go.” She is not looking back and coming to the door. I followed her, berating myself for stupidity and loose tongue. We went out in the already familiar hallway, but this time we turned another side. It was not a long walk - there was a guardian on a crossroad already - a white unicorn in golden armor, which made a step back and notably tightened when he saw me, muttering something under his breath. “Lieutenant Shining Armor will escort you to the chariot.” Princess turned to me. “I have to go - I fear, that there are urgent things that must be taken care of by me. Goodbye, Nightmare Moon.” Celestia moved away from the crossroad and didn't even wait for my answer. “All the best, Princess Thanks for everything.” I answered a few seconds later. She turned back for a moment, giving me a farewell gaze, and continued her way, loudly clattering with her shoes on the stone flooring of the hallway. ... I examined future captain of the Royal guard with interest along the way. Massive white unicorn with bright blue mane dangerously looked askew at me in answer, trying to not lose me from his point of view and keeping gripping silence. It was slightly unusual to be taller for a whole head: while being in the Princess Celestia’s society, with her being something like the same height as me, I reflexively got used to normality and that my sizes are medium, and now a clearly tall pony, hardly getting my chin with his top is a something like discordance. While being both silent, we reached an exit to a platform, where a chariot with a pair of pegasi in armor stood. Even if Shining wanted to say something - he didn't have courage to, and I simply had no desire to talk to anyone after the failed talk and a cold farewell with Princess. The guardians, that synchronously turned to sounds of our steps on a causeway, equally synchronously shivered and stepped back. “Screw me dead...” One of the pegasi dropped it with a mix of fear and admiration, while examining me. Catching the guardian's gaze, I smiled at him kindly and chuckled when he turned away swiftly after taking a step back. Pfft, what a deal - fangs, what to be scared of? I smirked silently. “Do you remember the Princess’ instructions?” Shining addressed to the guardians. “Quick and smooth carry...Mmm... Of the Guest of Her Highness.” Lieutenant found the words, confused for a moment. “To Ponyville, let off on the outskirts at the same place where you always do and after you made your way back - not a single word. Clear?” He glanced at me for some reason, like he's addressing the question to me. I answered with an indifferent gaze, and he shivered and quickly turned to his subordinates. “Sir, yes sir!” The guardians replied like a chorus, while trying to ignore my existence, but still looking at me from time to time. “Go on.” Said Shining. “Come on in...” He hesitated again, he doesn't know how to address to me clearly, so after swallowing his phrase, he just waved with his hoof to the side of my transport invitingly, where pegasi are already hitched to it. I wordlessly went to the chariot and swept a mistrustful gaze over it. This construction triggers specific concerns. No, it's very thick wood, topped with gilding and enriched with gilded metal decor, it looks absolutely solid and reliable in itself... But not for a flying machine clearly! Well, Tia's short lesson about flying was learned by me back in days, under the window. I was right, I was so damn right about her gaze and how I didn't like it... Yeah... And the most important and bitter - I can't fly for now. But, at least, I’d be able to glide down and not be killed dead when I land, if this thing would break up in the air. I hope so... I stepped inside the chariot, loudly clattering with my shoes on the planking and, after thinking for some time, made myself sit. Yeah, bare boards aren't a carpet... Fine, bearable. “Forward.” I shortly marked my readiness to the fly. The pegasi shivered simultaneously because of my voice. Yeah... I feel that there still will be problems with the locals, if even prepared military personal reacts with fear. Shining looks more cool-headed, but it's still easily detectable that he straightly watches for me with worries. While deep in thoughts, I lost the moment when pegasi started to run and this miserable wooden construction took off with me inside. I carefully looked overboard and swept a quick gaze over the Shining's reducing figure that is going back into the castle. My heart skipped a beat. How big the altitude is? With a force of will I suppressed the desire to turn back and to not look down: I’m a winged one, why should I fear altitude?! I have to get used to it, even though... Uh... It’s uncomfortable, yeah. I have to get used to a lot of things: ponies with their strange and paradoxical perspective on life, my wings, magic... Udder under the belly, yeah... Everything turned upside down. There’s a strange and foreign world around me, with its own rules. A world where I, as I think, hardly needed to anyone... And now I have to live here. I joylessly chuckled. 12. The Returning of The QueenI followed the retreating chariot with a long stare. It gradually became a black dot on the clear blue sky, and I looked around. The sight from a relatively small ridge, on which I was left, wasn't bad: I can see some river, a lake is shining with its expanse, and a gloomy wall of dark pines of the Everfree forest is rising at the opposite side of the ridge. Of course I can clearly see Ponyville: it’s within walking distance from its outskirts. Gaily decorated and beautiful houses of the town with their bright and various roofs are making me think that these are toys, especially from a distance. One small issue: the library inside of a tree isn't seen from here. And I didn't bother to examine town from above during the fly: was busy with my own thoughts. Alas, but it doesn't give me clearness where to go. And what to do now? Honestly - after Tia's letter I thought that they will meet me here. But no, there are only dragonflies and butterflies with me on the ridge. Do I want to look for the library by myself? I cringed. Not a good idea, to be honest. I wouldn't get lost, but there’s a great chance of me having to go over with a tooth-comb, and this is not a fast thing. Of course, there's an idea on the surface - ask the locals about the way, but I have very big doubts about this. I don't want to chase them and breach their houses’ doors...The guards’ reaction was very clear - and it must be taken with the fact that Princess seemingly said them to not fear me like ten times and... What options do I even have? Stand here and just wait. And it would be me, waiting here, and them, waiting there, yeah. What a great situation would it be. Although, at first sight, it's more logical for them to meet me here, but... I eyed my shoe on the right fore leg with a long stare. According to my experience - pony's logic is not a logical one, sometimes very incomprehensible to me. I wouldn't put it past them.. Find it from above? It would be awesome, but with my flying skills - any gust of wind can end my flight with a very fat “whack” against the ground. And this is without taking into account the armor and bags, and the fact that the most of their weight is on the fore legs, and a change of the gravity center in the air would be more noticeable, and most likely, fatal. I finished another circle at the top of the ridge, threw another glance towards town, but didn't see any welcoming committee coming again. God damn it... “No one writes to the colonel, no one waits him.” I remembered a famous song by “Bi-2” aloud and sighed. And no one waited me here and no one does. There’s no one in this world to wait for me, and there’s no need in this... I crossly sniffed, banishing coming melancholy. It was in a very horse style, which forced me to smile. That's better. I magnetized a hoof to the helmet and slowly took it off my head. Then I derived the only thing the left bag had contained - a sack with coins that I threw into the right one without looking - by the way, I must check what's inside of it. I folded laminar neck flap and I managed to put the helmet inside of the now free left bag by a miracle. I can let grass grow under feet until the evening, so I, by a logical choice - and if to be honest, I was just bored - decided to go into the town and try to find the library by myself. I hope that I'd look a little bit friendlier without the helmet - maybe I'd be able to talk with someone, who knows. When I assured myself, that this left bag won't close once again - the helmet was too big for it - I just spat on it and got moving towards Ponyville. ... It seems that citizens of Ponyville are very familiar with history and its figures. Or maybe they just remember the first visit of Nightmare very brightly... Metallic clop of my shoes on the stones of a road echoes through the empty streets of the town. You can hear a swinging sign of some store grits on the wind. Wherever I look, my gaze meet only closed doors and densely drawn curtains. I reflexively cringed from the feeling of stress in the air, and it seems so thick that you can chop it with a knife. Literally a ghost town, God damn it... Streets started to die out because of my approaching with such speed that I just couldn't believe my eyes at first. The process of escape became epidemic - ponies just evaporated before my eyes. I couldn't get closer than fifty meters to anyone. That's...disconcerting. Even I couldn't have predicted the reaction I would meet, but I wasn't prepared for such massive panic. I came closer to a circled house with a shed as an addition, under which tables and chairs were standing. By the sign of a cocktail wineglass, it wasn't a mystery that this was a public catering. There were such wineglasses on some tables, it seems that they were abandoned in a hurry, someone's dropped his notebook on the floor, sheets of which are being twitched by the wind... Well, this store definitely has been intact today, and it seems this house is a residential one, so it’s very possible that the owners hid there. I approached a small door and knocked delicately. This quiet sound was similar to a burst of gunshots in prevailing voicelessness. I listened closely, trying to catch at least a sound behind the door, but didn't hear anything except my own breathing. I raised a hoof, fitting it for a go-od knock, but after a second of thinking, I downed it onto the ground. Breaching the door isn't a question, but making the owners giving me some good answer is. They already fear to breathe there, and what would happen if I breach it? No point in doing that. “Damned cowards.” I hummed under my breath, shook my head unhappily and turned away from the door. Yea-ah... And what's now? Sighing annoyingly, I moved on down the street. Situation is starting to anger me. I moved around the town enough to find famous Rarity’s “Carousel” - no one opened the door - mayor's office on the central square, public park, but the damned library is nowhere to be seen. Sometimes it looks like this fuc... This residential oak has dug himself out of the ground and now running away from me around all of Ponyville, hiding behind houses and laughing at me in his dense crown. I sadly chuckled at this insanity that came to my head. No, I have to do something with my reputation - a thought came to my head after like fifteen minutes of futile walking across wordless streets. I do not see anything bad if someone's afraid of you and don't get cocky, but when whole streets are dying out because of you... I appeared from another turn and froze like a statue, trying to even breathe quieter. Yes! On a crossroad, a pony of cream color stands, with her back turned to me. Pale green tail of the mare frighteningly stuck to the belly, she was shifting from one foot to another nervously and fearfully looking around, it seems like she's picking a side to run - left or right. Got lost, huh? Yeah, I wouldn't get much out of her... Well, maybe she doesn't know this district - turned to a wrong side in panic - but she knows where the library is? Anyways, at least I have someone to ask - maybe she’d give me some answers... A known feeling is coming from my magic source, sending a warm wave into the horn, the muscles of the neck are tensing, I’m concentrating almost routinely ... Turquoise glowing is seizing mare's fore legs. She's feeling the touch of telekinesis and frighteningly screaming, twitching her fixed legs in vain. I compensate her force, adding a little bit of extra energy. I got you. Earthpony is looking around in panic and hit her gaze upon me. “Good day. If you don't run away - I’ll let you go. I just want to ask you some questions.” I informed the mare with a static tone, while kicking my entirely ill-placed black humor on the tip of my tongue down my throat and diligently holding my face with a normal expression - it’s not time to smile, God damn it... She’ll go nuts if I show my fangs, she's already twitching like an aspen leaf. Saying something relaxing like “I won't hurt you”, “Don't fear me” or similar isn't the way I have courage to go. It’s a common fact that nothing creates such panic as a request to stay calm. And I hope that these constructive proposals from my side will help her to get herself up... After making a few steps towards the pony I understand with sadness - it won't. Mare, twitching frivolously, tries to escape fitfully, but just falls onto her croup, trying to separate her hooves and the ground in vain. The pony's eyes are full of tears and terror, and it's directly said on her face: “This is the end!” I turn my gaze away - didn't think in the first place, that your eyes are not a welcoming gesture, did you, idiot? “Please, tell me - which way to the library?” I look away from the frightened pony diligently and even turn off my telekinesis. I doubt she would run away that far, but, maybe, she’d calm a bit... Only a muffled sob as an answer. I've had enough of your fear, damned cowards and pathetic dogs! What’s wrong, God damn it?! Where this reaction even comes from? I remember that when Nightmare Moon came during her first time, there wasn't such reaction, or not such massive one at least! But with Zecora it was something similar, but the other way around... Maybe it's a pleasure for them - to fear someone, huh? Gonna check it now - I gloomily smile with the edges of my lips. The polite side isn't working you say... “Where do I find Celestia's protégé?” Now I use the other way around: I loom large over the pony, boring a hole with my heavy gaze. She lifts her tearful eyes for a moment, twitches and falls onto a causeway, closing her eyes with the fore hooves and frighteningly lays back her ears. Yeah... It doesn't work either. What to fucking do? I touch a side of the twitching mare with my shoe thoughtfully. She jiggles, like it was a punch, making a muffled squeak. I’m tiredly sighing, lifting my eyes to the sky. It’s time to choose: either drop this stupid creature or just kiss her, like a last-ditch measure - maybe this would work? I made a step forward while thinking, and something like a train rammed into me. A powerful punch from the right to the ribs, passing by the wing miraculously, nailed me to the ground, while my brow took a hit against a road stone, and, it seems, that I bit my cheek ‘till blood. “Fu...cking shi-it!” I said huskily and started to cough. Tears are breaking from my eyes, white dots filled my view, flying chaotically, air, that is kicked out from my lungs like it was a sledgehammer, cannot be taken back. What a fucking encounter... What the hell was fucking that?! Or “who” - I corrected, winking tears away and lifting a muddy gaze at the azure pegasus with a rainbow mane, standing a few meters away. I think she was saying something, but the words flew by my mind. I barely stood up, setting my legs wider for their fixity. The brow was pulsating with awful twitching pain, recently healed ribs are whining like hell, shooting pain in the wing, especially giving itself away when breathing, and the mouth started to fill itself with blood from an internal part of the bitten cheek that now hangs like rags. Why the heck did you do that? Nothing to do and just decided to bark at me?! I looked at the cockily smiling pegasus with hatred. It was the last nail in the coffin, bitch. I spit blood on the road and licked my lips, fixing a heavy gaze at my enemy. She paled a bit and looked away. “You wanted war?” I wheezed out to her darkly. “I’ll give it to you, painted skank.” Pegasus tensed, either preparing to run or meeting a punch, but neither of those are gonna happen - I won't allow to. What can I do with the magic part? Only the most primitive ones: telekinesis, magic light and a pair of same childish focuses. Is it a war-winning machine? With someone like Celestia - no, but the pegasus will get enough of it. How? Easily: whatever comes to the hands of a human being, he would make a weapon out of it. Why ponies of Equestria light their magic at the end of a horn, even though it's unwieldy? Because there’s no battery-element, relatively complex in performance in the most well known version of the spell, and the magic dies out in a moment without energy from the horn. I don't need more than that. I concentrate for a second, creating a clot of light right before the pegasus’ eyes, filling it with energy for more brightness zestily. Half a second - and it's gone, but it's more than enough for the azure mare to step back, screaming in surprise, freezing on the spot, trying to rub the eyes with a hoof and downing the ready-to-go wings. Yeah, it is a bad idea to fly without eyesight. “So you have to stay on the ground with me, punk.” An evil smile decorates my face by itself. A few steps towards the enemy. Turning to the sound, she opens her tearful eyes with force, trying to see me, and gets another ball of light in her face. I must come closer, swing a fore leg and, while rearing up, nail this armored hoof right into enemy's side with all of its weight; she's unfolded her wings, seemingly trying to get back and avoid such a close distance with their help. The punch goes right into the wing's root, and surprisingly for me, it just folds, like because of a reflex, cramping against her side brokenly. Still blinded and disoriented pegasus painfully screams and tries to jump aside, but loses her balance, and I also add some force by telekinesis, pressing her into the stones of the causeway, forcing to fall on doubled up legs and spread eagle on the road. Spit blood out again, wrinkling from an unpleasant metal taste in the mouth. “And?” The voice is still weak, I’m breathing with force. “What have you achieved, scum bag? Why did you...” “Hey, you! Get back from her! Now!” A known voice sounds foggily. I slowly lift up a full-of-promise gaze at its owner. O, hello there. Couldn't you have come a minute ago, when she was breaking my ribs because of nothing to do? There were four ponies on the road that I knew because of the cartoon, drilling me with surprised, blaming and gloom glances. All that’s missing is Fluttershy. “Get back, right now!” Applejack repeats harshly, scowling at me and coming at me with her friends. Unicorns support her with their speaking glances, but only Pinkie looks at with some sad incomprehension. “Why do you do that?” I read it in the eyes of the pink mare. I cast a satisfied glance at the spread eagled azure pegasus, pinned down by my telekinesis to the road, moaning chokingly and trying to dash away tears from her muzzle despite my telekinetic press. Does it hurt, ay? You’re crying? Do you think your punch was a tickle for me, huh? I spit blood out once again on the road. When it will stop already? I lift a gaze at the farmer. She's looking at me unfriendly. Her words aren't looking as a polite ask, but I wouldn't heat it up. I hope I've managed to say my thought to Dash: beating people because of a bad mood or demonstrate your coolness on me isn't the smartest idea? I release telekinesis, feeling how the muscles of my neck are relaxing with relief, and make a few awkward steps back - harshly burning side is reminding about itself. Did she ram me from a dive? Coming closer, pony gaze at me hostilely, surround their friend and trying to outdo each other about her shape - I don't pay a lot of attention. I put a chill shoe on the hurt brow carefully. Feels without blood, didn't cut it, but I can feel how a bum is springing up there. Should have put the helmet on - I don't look friendly with it, yeah... No one fucking cares about friendliness! Feel our love and magic of friendship, idiot... And I’ll note that this all happened after Tia's letter, in which she warned about my arrival for sure, and, as I assume, offered to show every good side of friendship and cooperation. They did. Vividly. They didn't beat Discord the same way for some reason... “Nightmare!” The lavender unicorn addressed to me. Ponies lined up against me again, Pinkie and Applejack were helping barely standing Dash with their sides: it seems that my punch was hell of a one - pegasus was standing in a canted pose from the pain and hissing, cringing and drilling me with the glance of her narrowed ruby eyes evilly. “It’s wrong! You must apologize!” The Princess’ student said firmly, giving me a harsh gaze, when I gave attention to her. “Bang.” Heart pushed in the chest, bumping pure and sheer rampage into veins and arteries instead of usual blood that it's taken. I pulled in the suddenly thickened air with noise. “You must!” Why the heck I must?! Have you already judged the situation objectively? To clear up what and why has happened? At least ask my point of view? “Nah, such nonsense! You're Nightmare, thus - found guilty! And everything is clear!” My cheek twitched nervously. Go to heck with this method, multicolored fuckers! Nightmare's idea of taking away the Sun was right - you don't deserve it! I make a few steps forward, loom over the lavender unicorn, catch her gaze and peer at her eyes point-blank without blinking. I managed to see fright and perplexity before she turned her gaze away. “I. Don't. Owe. Anyone. Anything. Here!” I say every word through my teeth individually. “Maybe to Celestia and Fluttershy! But not you for sure!” I move away, fighting the desire to spit under the startled unicorn's legs. I've had enough of local hospitality! Turning around sharply, I move back to the ridge, where the chariot had left me. “And what then?” A backstabbing thought shows up in the head, forcing me to roar furiously. I don't fucking know! Come as it may! I don't give a fuck what will be! “Nightmare!” I abruptly turn around at the call. The Princess’ protégé runs to me. Is it that hard to fuck off, stupid horse? “We don't have anything to talk about!” I bark in response. “Go away! If you don't know what to do - help your friends to get this colored crip to a hospital! That's it!” “But...” Unicorn tries to insist confusedly, but I put on pace and don't pay attention to her. Do whatever you want here! Without me! This shit is so known for me: “We don't give a heck who's guilty because you're the one who is! Pay and shrive!” In fact, this is from the childhood... I remember badly, without names and details, but... A time ago I had to stay with grandmother with either nephew or little brother, or cousin... Or second cousin? Damn it, I don't remember! Doesn't matter anyway... It’s clear as day that it’s me who had to babysit and entertain him. Kiddo, of course, wasn't listening to me, tried to slip through every hole, thus earning problems. He could fall, break a mug from the table, a third, a tenth, a who-knows... The kiddo cries, but who would pay the price by the grandmother's opinion? Yeah, there we go... And it could have been my luck if it was just once, but the kiddo sniffed out the trend that he can do everything and nothing counts as his deed, and he started to do a number on me! If I had been maturer, I wouldn't have taken this so seriously and literally, but with healthy indifference and with a bit of humor, but the difference between him and me was... It’s hard to say, but not more than three years, I guess. It was the only time on my memory when I seriously took offense at the grandmother, getting a beating for another someone else’s mistake, and I just couldn't take it anymore - I left her, shutting door loudly and hiding tears diligently. Generally, this stupid horse have chosen the best way to anger me - accuse me of something that I haven't done and tried to force me to bear the blame, groundlessly and without any doubts. I made it to the landing zone with dark thoughts. What now? A thought about moving to the Everfree forest, that's rising at the ridge’s slope like a somber wall, skittered through my mind: unburden myself there, like I had been doing when I was a human, playing meat-grinding shooters and flooding hordes of some beasts in their own blood. After a little bit of thinking, I shook my head negatively. Firstly, I’m not in the right shape to go there without any serious threat for me, and secondly... I just don't want to. After this half an hour that I’ve been going here, the rampage just silenced, leaving emptiness and apathy after - the “cool down” thought came under its own inertia, I guess. Looking around the place, I stopped my gaze at a lake. A big one, sometimes with sandy shores, and it's not overgrown with bushes and canes. There’s nothing of a real sense to go there, but... If I don't give a heck where to go - why not? I sighed and started to haltingly go to the farthest shore from Ponyville, trying to not overload my hurt side. “Why this colored one decided to fight me?” I started thinking, following a dragonfly that moved aside with an absent look. It wasn't an accident - Dash and lost control? Yeah, keep saying that. And the punch was, in terms of accuracy, surgical - very painful, but, it seems, without any serious consequences. If she had punched me twenty-ish centimeters aside - I would have been forced to gather my wings’ bones from scratch. She punched me deliberately. A question rises - why? Princess said that she would write a letter about me. I’m sure there wasn't the “Kill at all costs!” order. No, I was of course understanding that our first meeting with Dash will be harsh anyway, but the expectable maximum of the problem was a verbal fight like: “I don't trust you, I watch you, just try to make a step aside! Got it?” But not a direct attack without any warnings and sayings of pretensions! The biggest thing is that in all this mess, Princess Celestia just can't stand aside and leave it without her attention. It’s clear as day that her student's word is overwhelmingly more important than mine. And if Twi draws a masterpiece about me ravaging the locals and burning the houses and then fighting Dash without any reason - everyone will believe her and will start to blame me for everything. And if my mood’s line would fall as now - it would be counted as a proof and hello Moon, it's been a while... I sadly overlooked the water expanse before me. And here I am, I've made it. Why have I come here, huh... I moved along the lake, listening to the rustle of the sand under my shoes. And what I’m gonna do with all this mess? Honestly - I don't have clue at all. No one would support me - don't have a reason to - and make it through alone... Words of yesterday's criminal against words of the Princess student's herself and four of her friends at least? Not funny at all. I looked at the lake water, rippling in the wind. I just wanted to fall into it and look at it without thinking. Moved above the slope - didn't want to check how sand harmonizes with fur - and lied on the grass. Chilly, unpleasantly, but I don't give a heck about such small things now. If only Dash was «the best one» in inadequateness... Of course there will be another idiot - the Princess’ student, Twilight Sparkle. I was of a way better opinion about her, if I look at the canon... It seemed that she's not the one who shoots from the hip, not the one who blames others without consideration... On the other hand, this is Twilight that only a week ago lived in the Canterlot's library without seeing God's light, not the “Princess of Friendship” Twilight... But what have changed in a better position for me? I put my head on crisscrossed fore legs and cringed when this move caused pain in my hurt cheek. This day was a fuck up... ... After half an hour, my melancholy was interrupted by the most impossible way of all that could have happened. “Hi! Can I talk to you?” Someone rattled off a tongue twister behind my back. I turned my head, already guessing who's there. Didn't fail: there was Pinkie Pie behind me, standing and smiling. Why, I wonder. Especially when she reacted at a way less scary and suspicious Zecora, if I remember the canon correctly. “What do you need?” I barked out, turning back to the lake. I don't want to see anyone at all. Especially Twi's friends. “You're sad!” Said the mare that just came to me, settling down at the grass near me. “What’s that to you, let me know?” I said droopingly. “You and your friends gave me a clear hint - I’m not welcomed here. Not a surprise for me, to be honest...” I badly touched the rags of my cheek with my tongue and hissed from pain. “I’m very-very-very sorry about that!” She exclaimed, laying back ears to the head and sadly looking at me with her blue eyes. “It was a misunderstanding! You see, Twilight haven't had time to notice Rainbow about your coming, and she...” Pinkie silenced mid-word, when I turned my head to her and stared at her savagely. “Who... What... To notice?” I squeezed out, still not believing in what I’ve just heard. “Ah, I forgot about it!” My interlocutor punched her forehead with a hoof. “You don't even know us! The azure pegasus, with whom you've... Well... She's Rainbow Dash, I call her Rainbow! The harsh earthpony with a hat - Applejack, AJ for friends. The white unicorn - Rarity, I call her Marshmallow, but she doesn't like this nickname for some reason. The lavender unicorn, Princess Celestia's student - Twilight Sparkle, or Twilight for short. There’s another yellow pegasus, with pink mane - Fluttershy, or Flutty, she wasn't with us. And my name is Pinkie Pie!” The pink mare said it in one breath, clearly getting pleasure from the acquaintance, even though it hasn't happened yet. “Nightmare Moon.” I named myself shortly, sighing with relief. “Yay! Nice to meet you!” Earthpony jumped at the spot cheerfully. I didn't notice when she was on her four again. “So...” She continued, quieting and settling herself again on the grass next to me. “Twilight didn't have time to warn Rainbow about your arrival. She told me about this only today, and Rarity's got the wind of it today, too...” Pinkie fell into thoughtfulness for a few seconds. “Okay.” She waved with a hoof. “Generally, we were going to Dash, to warn her, when everypony just got a scare and started to run! They said us to run as well, but we moved further - are we going to run without Dash after all? And then, after a corner, we see you, beating her! And you know the rest...” Narrator became sad for a moment. “And then, after your leaving, we sought truth form Rainbow and other ponies.” “What have you found?” I feigned interest in her story. “Dash, not knowing about your arrival, spotted you and thought that you've escaped from Celestia and wanted revenge, Elements of Harmony and the whole of Equestria once again! And when she saw you, dragging poor Honey Fleur, she rushed to rescue! And Fleur herself told us that you, as it seemed, was interested in the Princess’ student here. She lost her mind, because she didn't know even a thing about it, so her memory is short about it.” Pinkie shed light on the situation. “Yeah...” I chuckled sadly. “And, of course, I’m guilty - as always. And I, since... Ehm... Since olden times.” I swallow “since childhood” that was on the tip of my tongue. “Can't stand when someone accuses me of something I haven't done, and in such a categorical way, even without thinking about a second scenario... Ah...” I move with my leg disappointedly. What bullshit did I just say... Just out of the blue... We’ve understood everyone to the eyeballs and beyond, God damn it. Rainbow, if standing for her side, was right and even worthy of respect - she didn't step back, while seeing an enemy from a way another weight category, to save someone. And this is where we are: I think I’m right because I had right to defend myself, she's right because had to save her fellow countryman. And how to make peace with her after all this mess - it's an enigma to me. Also Twilight, making me absolutely mad by her deed. Yeah, it's so funny and easy to accuse someone! What about thinking? Brilliant scientific mind it's called... “Don't get mad at Twilight, please!” It seemed like Pinkie Pie read my thoughts. “She's horribly worrying about the mess she's done, that she let Rainbow down, hurt you, let Princess down... She's really sorry... Since we carried Rainbow to the hospital, she’s restless. It was hard to relieve her mind! And then I thought that no one can relieve your mind, so I came to you.” The mare smiled a little bit sadly at me. “Hey, by the way, do you want a cupcake?” She cheered up sharply, asking me and handing over to me a cupcake with multicolored topping on her hoof. Hey!? Where did she get it?! I aired my concern to the baker. “Took from the mane.” She said like it was a usual thing, looking in my eyes absolutely fearlessly, with her being bright and spontaneous. “This goes naturally all the time.” Pinkie “explained” while seeing my bewildered gaze. “And don't worry - they're tasty all the time! Really-really! Give it a shot!” Pony smiled. “Thanks, but I'd decline.” Succeeding with the shock, I carefully moved her hoof aside with mine own. “The cheek hurts. So I'd not eat anything for now.” “Oh.” Interlocutor's mood dropped down sharply again. “It’s because... Because of Dash, yes? Is the pain very bad?” Pinkie died away completely, laying down her ears. “Bit it when my ribs were under counting. The blood has stopped, and it hurts a little bit less, I think...” Carefully touching the rags with tongue, I painfully cringed. A little bit less, yes. But not enough less! “You have to visit a doctor!” The pink mare leaped to feet energetically. “You were bleeding! You're hurt! And you can't eat my beautiful cupcakes! Let's hurry up!” “Pinkie.” I grabbed the almost panicking pony by the tail with a sigh, forcing her to stop running around, and make a stop at last. “Don't fuss around, will you? You're the first pony to not run away from me in fear and not to beat me here. And for me, firstly, it's not a pleasure to chase your doctors all around the town and then revive him for a solid hour, and secondly, I don't want to get a punch into my ribs from the hospitable citizens of Ponyville, which would be screaming because of their luck.” Pinkie melts down before my own eyes because of my sad irony. “So, thanks for the care, but no. I can do without your doctor - it will heal itself after some time. And if it don't and I die because of wounds - no one will be sad about that.” I’m summing up with a gloomy curved smile, feeling, how disgustful loneliness crawls into my soul. “Don't say so!!!” The pink hurricane almost downed me to the ground. In her suspiciously shining narrowed blue eyes, remorse combines with pity and something else, and I can't understand what it is. “I’ll be sad! Very-very sad, really...” The mare says dismally, sniffing with her nose and backing off sharply. “Yeah? Because what, what’s that to you?” I apathetically look at the waves of the lake, putting head onto my fore legs. “Because you're my friend, Night.” Pinkie declares surely and without missing a beat, settling down near me on the grass once again. I indefinably chuckle, closing eyes. What an unreal world it is, like a toy one... Half an hour of conversations - we're friends, yeah? Such nonsense. Friends do not just meet and speak a little - a friend in need is a friend indeed... It’s like I smash myself against a wall. A friend in need is a friend indeed. So did Pinkie, trying to help me. Who am I to her? She could just spit on it, leave me and be with her friends, Twilight and tea... But no, she found me. Just because she thought that I’m lonely here... Is Pinkie wrong about friends, if she's here, with me, to share my grief and help with my calamity? “Thanks.” I sadly smiled at her, swallowing a lump in the throat. “Thanks a lot...” I unfolded my wing and gratefully hugged a kind pony who cares for me. 13. ThoughtsPrincess Celestia looked at stone Discord tiredly and thoughtfully, on which runes of the hardest spell were slowly fading out, and she was surprised by the ups and downs of life inly. Sometimes it's so sudden and remarkable when it's set: if she hadn't risk and hadn't give a second chance for Nightmare, then, after a year at max - a more powerful enemy could have risen his head and threaten Equestria. The Princess of the Day has not been walking in the garden for a long time, and she doesn't even relax - she has gone into her job with her head. If she hadn't left Nightmare Moon in the castle - there wasn't the recent walk in the park, when Nightmare Moon startled from fear because of the statue of the ghost of chaos. For Celestia, this has brought a keen interest to the event and allowed to find out that prison of Discord became obsolete. A few hours have passed during a difficult, exhaustive ritual, and Celestia has got a headache, her horn is moaning, but since now Equestria can rest calmly: the ghost of chaos is locked away for one hundred fifty - two hundred years minimally. But Mare in the Moon's words during their unforgettable walk about terror that crawled into her heart because of some “memories from the Moon” are still an enigma. At the start Celestia thought, that tricky draconequus found a way to communicate with Nightmare on the Moon and this memories are tied with it, but a thorough check of the prison has shown that it's not the case. Luna couldn't say a word about that. It seems that it had happened after... their conflict with her sister. The Princess of the Day sighed and turned away from the statue, slowly moving into the castle. Poor Luna still hasn't recover herself after realizing her fatal mistake. It was so bright in Tia's memory: the savage, unbearable terror in her eyes during their well-remembered talk in the night garden. And she realized that she had left alone not an evil ghost, but an alive, intelligent creature on the Moon. Luna was fully depressed all the time yesterday, sometimes planning to go to Nightmare and... And it would be it. Tia succeeded in stopping her. It’s not the time... No matter what had happened with Nightmare on the Moon after Luna's descent into sleep, but Mare in the Moon hated her with an all-out rage. Celestia with her long life, as she thinks, never saw such hate to someone that specific. She saw this hate in the Nightmare Moon's alight snake-like eyes when Luna is mentioned. If they face each other in a hallway - a disaster won't be stopped from unfolding. Princess moved with her wings chilly. It's good that Mare in the Moon agreed so easily to be sent to Ponyville. Maybe, if she had stayed here instead, near Celestia, it could have been a lot more rightful way... But Celestia has no desire to risk with Luna-Nightmare conflict that surely would bring heavy results afterwards. Celestia stopped for a bit before yet another stairs, giving some rest to her legs. The most difficult ritual, as it seems for her, drained all the energy and there was hellish poorness in the body of the tired Princess. Thoughts of the pure white mare smoothly went to Nightmare Moon herself. What could had happened there on the Moon, when Luna had left her alone? Princess shrank reflexively when she remembered the words of the Mare in the Moon that were said in an apathetic tone. “If it would became boring for you to muck about with me - burn me alive. Even this would be more merciful than an exile to the Moon.” “No, no matter what happens with her - she won't say it to anyone.” Celestia understood it. “Firstly - to not give herself even a fraction of that memory...” Tia distracted for a second to channel off with a brigade of builders: one wing of the castle is under reconstruction right now, specially for Luna. They greeted Celestia politely and bowed, continuing their way to exit. Another workday is coming to its end. Celestia turned back to the thoughts of her recent guest. Firm confidence of the Mare in the Moon consists of her words that someone will undoubtedly use her for something, while covering themselves with kind words, but distrust of Nightmare and her continuous awaiting of a pig hurts Princess, but after all the things that happened with her - it's hard to blame her for such thoughts... And still, stiff lack of faith in Celestia’s ability to show kindness and friendship concerns and frustrates the Princess of the Sun. What did she say today? To treat a little, give a hundred bits and kick off like a ball - could it be right? Tia sighed. How depressed she is if she thinks so? But moreover, Nightmare Moon was shocked by any kind of attention! Medical examinations and treatment, short rundowns about some questions, heck, even visits of the Princess of the Sun herself! No, she was always quiet, but her gaze was all about that. Of course, Celestia has never spared that much of quantity of time and attention to someone, but giving things to deputies and a week-long vacation in honor of Luna returning home allow it, and the desire to keep the returning of Mare in the Moon obligates to contact with her only personally, without an extra pair of eyes. For some reason Tia remembered how embarrassed Nightmare Moon was when she asked for a new pillow. Tia giggled quietly. Generally, Nightmare looks very different from the character that Celestia drew in her head when she had only a try of talking with her. Yeah, they had to go through a talk only twice - both times in combat - but now, sometimes, there was a deep feeling that Nightmare was replaced by someone else. Well, she was pretty distinguish even in those combats. Self-assured and arrogant during the first, a thousand years ago, surely mad and inadequate during the second, during the Summer Sun Celebration, and wound up and distrustful now, after the Elements split her and Luna as separate ponies. Mad and inadequate... Celestia froze amid a step. Maybe that's the answer? What could go wrong with a pony over a six hundred years on the Moon? She lost herself there - and that's the thing Nightmare Moon fears even in her memory, and panicky afraid of happening again. Maybe, the pressure of the Elements didn't only give her and Luna different bodies, but also returned the Nightmare Moon's memory... With all the events that had happened on the Moon. And even then it seems that not all memory was restored. Nightmare lost a big chunk of her magic skills, she forgot even the basics, albeit she remembers quickly - you just have to give her a push. Even more, this banishment made a change even on the reflexes of the body somehow. Yes, she mentioned that didn't fly all these years, but Celestia's eyes saw that she moves cautiously in general - thinking about this move or those, like the body isn't hers. Another unusual detail of the Mare in the Moon's behavior was her way of talking. Besides eerily distrust, Tia was somehow shocked by the absence of usual piety before her. Even her sister, Luna, was talking with her in a ceremonial manner during the party in honor of her returning, addressing to her as “Your Majesty”! Naturally: a formal banquet... It cost a few efforts to urge her to change her vocabulary. Nightmare addressed to her as “you” right from the start, sometimes using the “Princess” title without addressing as “Your Majesty”, what was acceptable, though not for everyone, or just the title without name after it, that was mind-blowing for any pony of any rank and of any estate. “Hello, Princess!” Yeah... No one could create such an addressing for a thousand years except Nightmare Moon. However, you cannot say, that Celestia didn't like it: etiquette was set into reflexes, and sometimes Celestia was so tired of this formalism... Such informal relations could bring a smile on Tia’s face just because of variety, no matter who was the other person. Dialog with Mare in the Moon, for Celestia's fortune, was on the right track, even if they don’t understand each other every time... Tia blamed herself for a cold farewell with Nightmare fleetingly . She couldn't hold it anymore. Yes, it hurts and it's unpleasant to hear her suspicions, but... There's no use crying over spilled milk. There’s a hope that time and new friends in Ponyville would heal her soul, would teach her trust and kindness. Now there’s a hope, but back in the days, in the castle of Two Sisters, she, Celestia, could make a different decision - and it's over. Yeah, it’s a hard decision - to spare this distrustful black alicorn - but a simple one could be, most probably, a fatal mistake, like every other simple decision in general. Every life is a unique world. Nightmare's one is poisoned and devastated, but alive, and that means that with time it can rise in something beautiful and wonderful. We just have to help her... When she entered and stopped after her study's doorstep, Princess realized that her legs reflexively got her into a wrong place with a light vexation. Head still aches, horn has gotten pins and needles, there was poorness all over the body, so Celestia went into her chambers, wanting to rest... But while in her thoughts, she didn't even notice that came here instead. “It's good that there’s a small bedroom for such occasions just behind the next door.” the Princess of the Day smiled tiredly. But for a start... Alicorn came to a table and called a servant by pushing a button. She came not long after. “Come in!” Princess replied to a knock in the door, making her to look sprightly with a force of will. “Did you call me, Your Majesty?” A servant bowed as she entered the room. “Please, bring me tonic tea and something sweet to it. Oh, and please, another glass of energetic cocktail.” Princess smiled exhaustedly. “Got it, Your Majesty!” The mare darted off with a fast pace, but, while by door, looked back at Celestia. “Energetic cocktail? Maybe I should call a doctor?” She asked worryingly. “No-no, thanks, I’m fine.” Tia smiled again and shook her head. The servant nodded fitfully and slipped behind the door. Wondering exhaustedly about what type of tea she will have, the Princess of the Sun looked around the cabinet apathetically. Some detail nailed the Celestia’s eye and now she looked carefully at that thing. Here it is: a very distinctive scroll on the table - a letter from Twilight Sparkle. Usually, when Spike send her letters from her student, they would appear right in front of Princess, but today she needed to fully concentrate on the ritual, so she had created a spell to refer such messages here, to the cabinet’s table. Celestia mused for a second, remembering the details. Yeah, it was in the moment of drawing the second runic circle - she called off the spell on an edge of her mind. It was... Approximately three-four hours ago, almost in the very beginning of the ritual! And now - she looked at the clock - almost twenty minutes past seven in the evening. “Ooh. I hope nothing serious...” Princess babbled, unfolding the scroll before her eyes. Only a brief look at these curved letters, jumping lines and ink-spots on the paper was enough to understand - it was something serious. Something serious a few hours ago... Presaging a bad thing ahead, Celestia swiftly swept through the inaccurate lines and threw the scroll away, started to run to a window impetuously, opening its leafs with telekinesis. With a mournful ringing, a few glasses poured out and broke apart. Princess is pressing the shatters with a rustle with her shoes, then jumped on the window sill and threw herself into the air with a mighty leap forward, heading to Ponyville: there was no time for exhaustion... Entering the cabinet with a tray in her teeth, the servant saw falling papers from the table because of the wind, and an opened window under which, a broken glass shined on the floor. Coming closer with a dread, she looked outside and saw only a far tiny vanishing silhouette in the sky, which was followed by a barely seen multicolored trail. 14. MisunderstandingI lay with my head on my front legs and my eyes closed. Pinkie's curly mane tickled the inside of my right wing as she nestled happily beneath it, snuggling against my side. The conversation stalled on its own. I was just enjoying the coziness of the pink little pony, her sympathy and compassion dispelling all the negativity, that had been weighing on my soul as a heavy kettle bell. Now that I have calmed down, I was even a little ashamed of my recent outburst. The conversation with Tia in Canterlot hadn't gone well, and then things had been going wrong here since I'd landed, so I couldn't take it... It had gone bad. And still, I've never excepted such a dig from Twilight. And from Pinkie Pie, who was cautiously fidgeting under the wing, making herself comfortable, I did not expect, that she would find me on purpose, just so I would not be sad and lonely! “Pinkie?” I called the mare quietly. “Yes?” She poked her muzzle out of the wing, ready to listen. “Listen... Why aren't you afraid of me? The whole town hides in basements from me, and you went looking for me yourself! And this after our first meeting, which was not particularly peaceful...” “You're not the bearcat, who attacked Princess and tried to ruin the party! You're different, kind - why should I?” Pinkie explained as a matter of course. I choked on the air and coughed, staring wildly at her. How?! How did she?.. I was... “D... Different?” I panted after a dozen of seconds, when was again able to speak. “Yep!” The pink mare confirmed happily. “I don't know how to explain... I just feel it, that you've changed and now don't want to harm everyone and ruin parties! And since you're now not a baddy, then you need friends! Especially if you feel bad and lonely!” I stared mindlessly at the water of the lake. There was a ringing emptiness in my head. What else did she know about me? What should I do about it? “Hey, Night! Are you alright?” She nudged my shoulder with a hoof accurately. “Hard to say.” I answered slowly, still looking at the same point. “You know so much about everyone, I wonder?” “Nope!” The interlocutor shook her head cheerfully, as it seemed to me, and tickled me with her lush mane. “This is just my Pinkie sense! Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't... It worked for you!” This Pinkie is Discord’s daughter...She can't be as real as she is in the cartoon, can she? However, it is not up to me - a winged and horny horse with capabilities of magic - to talk about logic... Let's take it as axiomatic that Pinkie is a magical seer. At least that sounds more serious than "she can, like in the cartoon"... "He-he, it tickles!” I was pulled out of my thoughts by the cheerful voice of the Element of Laughter. I found myself stroking the mare with my wing as I thought about it. Embarrassed, I yanked the limb back to me, already almost habitually folding it along my body. “I liked that!” Pinkie stated, giggling again and getting on her feet. “But I guess I really should be going back to Twilight and the others, because they're probably worried about where I've gone to. I'll tell them, that you're nice, and you'll make up!” The pink pony assured me. “And then I’ll make a super-mega-cool party!” She jumped on the spot. “Fine, Night, bye-bye! See ya soon! It was nice to meet you!” Pinkie, smiling widely, waved a farewell with her front hoof. “Same.” I smiled with an edge of lips in answer. “Goodbye, Pinkie. And thank you again.” “You're always welcome.” She replied and started to jump towards the town. Running away on some distance, she turned and waved at me again, and continued on her way. I followed the pony's retreating figure for a while, and then turned my gaze back to the lake. I have to confess, that I didn't have much faith in her success: no one likes to apologize, and making me look bad in this story was a cakewalk. And you wouldn't have to apologize, too... On the other hand, it would be impossible to pin the dogs on me unanimously - Pinkie wouldn't let that happen. And I'm pretty sure Princess won't ignore her objections if anything happens. Celestia, as it seemed to me in the course of our conversation, was not the sort of person who shoots from the hip; she'd try to figure out what was what. And the scapegoat, according to Pinkie, is the Princess' student, who for some reason didn't bother to prepare for my visit until this morning, when I was already halfway to Ponyville, and, of course, didn't have time to warn everyone. To summarize, it was an unpleasant situation for me, but, thanks to Pinkie Pie, hardly fatal. Let's hope that, at least in the basis of my conclusions, I am right... What am I supposed to do with all this? Sit here, don't provoke, keep a low profile, wait for Tia. I suspect Twilight has already sent her an email with a colorful summary of what happened, and she's not likely to let it go unnoticed. She's probably on her way, so the wait won't be long. Well, I'm going to practice my magic in the meantime, so I won't be bored. How was Nightmare shaping bricks on the Moon? ... What a luck, that the construction spells can be clarified from memory even before the Luna's betrayal - it's not very pleasant to dive in there either, but at least it's not... I didn't think the thought through, and I forced my will to throw it away. I saw what I wanted to see, nothing more was required, the question is closed. Sizzling and cursing quietly, I somehow got up from the grass - the damaged side immediately reminded me of itself, when I began to be active - and, limping, went down to the lake, to where the sandy beach began Let's try to put on a pile of bricks on the shore, shall we? I chuckled briefly and lighted the horn. ... Yeah. It will be long before I reach Nightmare Moon's level... Why did the unicorns in canon rarely use anything other than telekinesis and maybe some magic flashlights? Because the damn bricks turned out to be more complicated than the usual telekinesis by more than an order of magnitude! And even more costly by several times! There was a small model of Stonehenge made of bricks in front of me on the sand - not giant blocks of stone, but quite normal-sized - and I myself, in addition to my side, eyebrow, and cheek, was now suffering from a headache, that was vilely reverberating in my horn. I knew clearly, that I was doing something wrong - it shouldn't be this hard - but I had no experience of knowing what it was. Definitely, I should pay attention to the magic books and figure it out when I get a chance. Or, alternatively, I could dig deep into my memory to figure out exactly how to do all the parts of the spell, and in half an hour or so the bricks wouldn't be a problem. But I'd rather waste a month on books and my own learning than go into Nightmare's memory one more time. Sometimes I wish I could find a mentalist here and erase her... I turned my attention back to reality, glancing again at the result of my labor. Still, the model of Stonehenge, made of authentic gray stone bricks - or should I say, solid granite parallelepipeds shaped like bricks - was heartening: it may still be crooked and unskilled magic, but it is magic! My own! And no matter how you look at it - it's complicated enough, that not everyone will be able to repeat it! I sniffed. Yeah, keep saying, archmage. When you build yourself a tower of stone, fifty meters high, out of what's lying around, only then you can rise your nose. But for now - shut up. By the way, the idea is a good one - home made by your own hands... Or hooves should I say. Yeah... By the way, how much time has past? I glanced at the Sun and pressed my lips together in annoyance. Yeah, of course, what else would you expect in Equestria? The thermonuclear light bulb hung motionless in the sky, the same place it had been hours before when the chariot had dropped me off. And yes, it's better not to think how it works, you'll be healthier... I walked around, stretching my legs, that were swelled from standing in the same position for so long. I've been building for at least an hour, and no one has visited me yet. Strange, but how many urgent matters could Princess have? I pressed the cool metal of my shoe to my humming head. It’s done for the magic part today for sure. My gaze, mindlessly glancing around, rested again on the lake. Hey, why not? I just don't have anything more to do... It took me a few minutes to figure out how to get rid of my armor and bags, and soon I was walking leisurely towards the water, preoccupied by the unusual sensation of the sand under my hooves: only now did I fully notice, that the hard hooves were also quite sensitive. I paused at the water's edge for a few seconds and looked at my reflection. The reflection stared back at me tiredly, flaunting a bump on its left eyebrow, that was visible even in the ripples. You're lying, I don't look that bad! I slammed my hoof into the reflection, turning it into a fuzzy silhouette smeared across the diverging waves. The water was a pleasant temperature, so I didn't linger any longer and moved on, enjoying the way it cooled my injured side. Surprisingly, the bottom was sandy and flat, which, in my experience, is somewhat unusual for lakes. I was in the water up to my neck, and I stopped abruptly. Wait a minute, can I swim at all? I pressed my legs together and tried to stay afloat. Well... In principle it worked, but there were serious problems with stability - I have to work my legs all the time to not fall aside, and working with my legs was quite unpleasant. I wouldn't risk testing active swimming just yet. When I come to my senses first, then I'll try it... “A-a, f!..” Musing, I stopped paddling to keep myself afloat, lost my balance, and fell over in surprise, hitting the water. A few minutes later, after coughing and catching my breath, I thought about going back to shore, but... I didn't want to get out of the water at all. In the end, having decided, that the state of the body allows this, I preferred to stay and experiment a little more: I held my breath and dived under water. A curious discovery awaited me almost immediately: the huge pony's eyes felt perfectly well under water, though the visibility was just like that of a human - disgusting. And also the water cooled down my head nicely, which was boiling because of the magic trainings. Nice-e-e... As I reached the surface and took a breath, I dived again, trying not to disturb the sand, and crouched at the bottom, trying to see what was on it, keeping myself from surfacing by careful work with my wings. I didn't find any of the interesting pebbles, that I... used to love to collect, so I got out of the water, noticing with displeasure the sand clinging to the wet fur of my feet and the sudden weight of my wings. I reached the grass and shook myself off vigorously, scattering glistening splashes around me, and howled when my head reminded me, that shaking was not good for it, and my injured side readily agreed. I cringed at the set of "wonderful" sensations, and plopped down on the croup next to my things. Okay, what's the result? I guess I still need to learn how to swim, but I can still do a few things, and I'm pretty good at staying on the water, too. As long as I'm not distracted, yep... The most interesting part, of course, are the eyes. The ponies' huge spy holes clearly have some sort of protection against outside influence, which is logical, in principle, given their size and importance. I wonder if that's true of everyone, or is it a trait unique to alicorns? After I dried myself off, and, with difficulty, got rid of the sand on my feet, I got into my gear. After I adjusted my breastplate, putting the bags over it, and made sure it was nice and straight, I looked up and shivered from surprise: a lavender unicorn was hesitating in front of me, a few feet away. “I... Well...” She started shyly, noticing, that has my attention. What did you forget here, horny scarecrow?! Got here, fucking hell... “Get lost, ay?” I interrupted the mare gloomily. “B-but...” She bit her lip. Her attempt to object, however, was interrupted in the most unexpected way. There was a rhythmic clap, a sharp gust of wind threw dust and grass in my face, and when I opened my eyes and waited, I found Princess Celestia between me and Twilight. And she looked - quite expectedly, perhaps - not very friendly. To put it mildly. “NIGHTMARE MOON!!!” The acoustic blow from the "Canterlot voice" made my ears ring, my teeth ached, and my head hurt like hell, and it wasn't healthy already. I retreated a few steps, hissing painfully, and put a cool shoe on my forehead to wait out the pain. “I’m happy to see you again too, Princess.” Recovering a bit, I said, trying to sound cheerfully despite the state of the body: now we need to knock her out of the mood to solve the problem radically by throwing my body into the lake, and move everything into the realm of dialog. “But I beg you - a bit more quiet, please. I hope you really want to tackle all this mayhem... “Which mayhem? Explain yourself!” Celestia ordered harshly, drilling a hole in me with a heavy gaze. “By which right did you...” “Your Highness!” The Twilight's voice interrupted the angry alicorn unexpectedly. Tia looked back at the student perplexedly. I examined the unicorn with a gaze as well, narrowing eyes. Come on, tell Princess how evilly and cruelly Nightmare wanted to take over the town and at which heavy cost you managed to stop her. Off you go. You have come alone not without a reason, haven't you? There’s no one to challenge your words... “What, Twilight?” Princess cheered the hesitating mare up. She wasn't in a hurry to get me down for some reason - all her stance showed despair, eyes were filled with tears. Hm? “Princess Celestia!” Twilight said to Tia, working up the courage. “Nightmare is not the one to blame in what happened! It’s... It’s all... My fault.” The drooped unicorn ended depressingly, sobbing quietly. Wow. It was a hard one. I looked at Twilight anew, feeling the negative towards her vanishing, being replaced by respect. Not everyone is capable of admitting guilt, especially in the case of not being caught in the act, when there is a chance to hide everything - and no one will find out. And in front of whom to admit it! I felt embarrassed by my recent thoughts. “You?” Princess was astonished, and with a quick glance at me, she turned to her student. “But what happened, Twilight?” “I...” The mare sighed in a blood-curdling way. “I got so caught up in my books last night, that when Spike tried to distract me, I guess I just brushed it off - tomorrow, tomorrow! - So... and I..." the unicorn sobbed. “I’m an awful stu-udent! I let eve... Everyone down! Sorry, Princess Celestia, p... Please, forgi-i-ive me!” Not being able to stand it, Twi cried her heart out, looking absolutely unhappy, getting down onto the grass. Tia, giving her student a pitying look, settled down on the grass beside her, stroked her with her wing, and began to comfort her, saying something in her ear. I stepped back a few steps and turned away, not knowing where to put myself in such a situation. The sight of other people's tears always put me in a stupor, and simultaneously caused an unpleasant feeling, that it was all my fault. I cannot stand that paradoxical feeling of guilt mixed with helplessness. I never understood what to do in such moments... I frowned, looking around for something to do, while Princess soothed Twilight, and then I noticed a trio of ponies approaching us. Applejack and Rarity glared at me with cautious and unkind looks, obviously seeing me as the cause of their friend's tears. “Thanks for believing in me.” I chuckled in thought. Pinkie nodded affectionately, staying beside me for a moment, and then caught up with her friends, who had stopped a little away from Princess and were now looking sympathetically at the tearful unicorn. Tia's efforts, meanwhile, were paying off: Twilight's inconsolable cries were gradually replaced by sobs, and soon they were silenced as well. Celestia gently stepped down from her student and, rising to her feet, nodded greetings to the approaching Keepers of Elements, gesturing for them to come closer. The mares, bowing courteously to the ruler, approached. I came too, standing a little away from the friendly company. “Now I'd like to find out what happened here.” Alicorn put a dispassionate expression back on her face and looked around at the crowd, glancing at me for a moment. “Well... When I woke up late this morning, I was surprised to find your letter on my desk, and when I read it... Oh..." Twilight sighed sorrowfully. “I had to go galloping without a plan, trying to get anything done in time! I had hoped to at least gather my friends and inform the mayor first... But I didn't even have time to do that!” The mare finished in a droopy voice and sniffed her nose. “When the streets began to get deserted." She continued after a brief pause. "And the passersby urged us to hide, too, it was clear, that it was too late and Nightmare was here. We met her halfway to Rainbow Dash - she was standing over our friend, pressing her to the ground with her telekinesis - and we thought..." She hesitated. “That evil Nightmare has come to rob, burn, and make an eternal night." I said with a wry grin, earning a gloomy look from Princess and a sad sigh from Twilight. “Applejack asked her to let Dash go and get back.” The unicorn continued her story after gathering her courage. “Honestly, I didn't think it would help, and I was already wondering how we could stop Nightmare without the Elements, but she just stepped back, letting us get closer. Rainbow got it badly..." Twilight finished sadly and paused again to catch her breath. “What happened to her?” Princess asked, giving me a long, cold look, that didn't bode well. I answered with mine, now calm and confident: the lavender unicorn's desperate confession hardly left anything to charge me with. I've been fabricating so much about her... Fucking paranoid. “The hospital told us, Your Highness." Rarity said, filling in for her friend, who has fallen apart. "The poor mare has two cracked ribs and extensive soft tissue contusions. With an injury like that next to her wing, poor Dash won't be able to fly for over a month!” The white unicorn gave me a judgmental look with her lips pressed together. “Nightmare, I’m listening.” Celestia turned to me, nodding at the Elements. Her voice sounded like it could freeze water, but at least she was willing to listen to all points of view, which was nice. “Well...” I started, gathering thoughts and rolling the events of this day in my mind. “The chariot dropped me off on that hill about an hour after you and I parted at Canterlot...” ... “...After that came Twilight, and then, almost immediately, there was you." I finished my story. Even with the fact, that I only recounted our encounter with Dash in detail, describing everything else in extremely concise and single-spaced terms, it did take me more than half an hour to tell the story. “I guess I can understand your actions..." Celestia said thoughtfully after a long pause. “But such harshness was unnecessary, Nightmare. You could have stopped Rainbow without hurting her like that." Princess chided me. “I could have, if I had known in advance, that it was a mistake and not a deliberate attack." I objected. “Such a response was justified to an unprovoked aggression.” “Justified by what?” Princess reacted sharply. “You could have solved it differently, but you have chosen brutal force instead!” “Dash did the same.” I resembled. “And if someone attacks me, then it justifies my self-defense.” “And still, I beg you to abstain from such “justified” measures thenceforth, Nightmare Especially in cases, when you can go without it.” Her Highness looked at me piercingly, narrowing a bit her huge pink eyes. “Okay.” I nodded shortly at Princess, earning a long, watchful gaze and a slow nod from her. Damn... I’m tired a bit, hey... Can't stand such talks, especially with headache. “Twilight." Tia said to the unicorn, who has been staring at the ground the whole time I've been talking. "What happened after you... parted with Nightmare Moon?” “Well...” She raised her tearful eyes to Princess. “The first thing we did was take Dash to the hospital, and then we met in the library to write you about what happened and to decide what we should do next. To be honest, I was hoping you might be able to give me some advice soon...” “Sorry, Twilight.” Tia, smiling guilty, leaned her head a bit. “As you see, Princess don't get important information in time sometimes.” “You have nothing to be sorry, Your Highness...” The unicorn sighed with annoyance. “You count on me, and all I can do is write you a letter for every problem and wait for a reply with a solution!” She finished in a ringing voice and wiped a tear from her face with a sob. “Calm down, Twilight!” Pinkie Pie hugged her as she came closer. “Don't be so worried, everything is going to be fine!” “It is not!” She panted in answer. “Everything I was capable of without help - panic!” “Don't be so categorical, Twilight.” The mentor addressed the unicorn. “In the end, you've been able to take yourself in hoof and found out about the situation, haven't you?” “No.” The unicorn grumbled gloomily. “I was barely soothed by my friends. Then Pinkie suggested I go see Rainbow and ask her about what happened. So we did. Dash said, that when she saw Nightmare doing something to the pony - Honey Fleur, as she described - she immediately rushed to her rescue. After visiting Rainbow, we decided to question Fleur as well, so that she could tell us how she met Nightmare. From Honey's story, we learned, that she is new to Ponyville and does not yet know the town very well, so when the alarm went off, she was nervous and could not remember the way home. It was at an unfamiliar intersection that Nightmare caught her. Unfortunately, Fleur was so frightened, that she couldn't remember the encounter and could only tell, that Nightmare seemed to be trying not to hurt her. And when Dash knocked her down and told Honey to run, she chose to follow the advice. That's when I realized that it was all my fault." Twilight finished tiredly, wiping away a tear again. “If only I had read the letter in time and prepared everything!” She sighed heartbreakingly, to which she was embraced again by Pinkie. “When we returned to the library, Twilight was terribly worried, Your Highness." Rarity continued the story for her friend. “We had barely calmed her down when Pinkie suddenly said she had to leave and hurried off before we could find out what was wrong! When we were about to look for her, she found us and told us, that she had gone to comfort Nightmare Moon!” The white unicorn's voice was one of undisguised amazement. “We, of course, have already understood, that this incident is an unpleasant misunderstanding, but ..." The mare made an indefinite gesture. “But we were surprised not for a bit." Applejack, who has been silent the whole conversation, said. “We quickly went around the town, warned everypony, prepared a little, yeah ... and decided, since Pinkie asked, that everyone should go here ... But while Pinkie was gathering us, Twilight ran away here alone! We, of course, could not leave her alone and came along to support her. It's never easy to apologize, and it's never easy to be alone... Don't ya worry, sugarcube, we won't leave ya." The farmer smiled warmly at Twilight, who has already recovered somewhat and was now standing next to also smiling Pinkie Pie. “Thank you." The unicorn froze for a moment cutely. Sighing and lifting head defiantly, she made a step towards me. "I should have shown you everything from the best side, but instead I ruined it and blamed you without even knowing it... I'm sorry, I really am!” Honestly, I've never heard people apologize to each other in this kind of situation, which may be very bad, but it's a domestic situation. Sincerely, with a kind of trepidation about what they will be answered, whether they will be forgiven... "Sorry, I didn't mean to", "sorry, it was a mistake", "shit, sorry, it was my fault" - usually it's like that, without any pressure, calmly, even a little aloof. On the other hand, I've never shed blood in a fight over someone else's screw-ups before, either... “Okay. No offence taken.” I smiled with corners of my lips at the mare. I really wasn't angry with Twilight anymore: I was hurt by the accusation, of course, but I was also very impressed by her confession to Celestia, and it made my conversation with Princess a lot easier, which could have had a blurry outcome otherwise. And I just feel a bit sorry for her: I’m the only one, who knows, that Tia wouldn't do anything to her - smiling aside, damned mastermind - but the unicorn herself was clearly not so sure of her mentor's forgiveness. “Thanks.” Twilight smiled with a relief and turned to the alicorn. “Princess Celestia! I let you down... I...” Twi stopped mid-word, not being able to continue. “We all, alas, sometimes make mistakes: misjudge what is happening, neglect something important..." said Celestia, looking thoughtfully and a little sadly into the distance. “Some of these mistakes can be prevented if you know how. Unfortunately, you often get this knowledge only from your own experience, drawing conclusions from the results of your wrong decision. To be able to learn from your mistakes is an important, even if unpleasant, skill, and I hope, that you will make the right conclusions from this situation." Princess looked sternly at the student and... immediately gently hugged her. “It wasn't easy for you today, but I'm glad you were able to clear up the misunderstanding and find the strength to admit your mistake and try to fix it. And... know this, Twilight: I will never send you away or leave you alone.” “Really?” The unicorn looked unbelievingly at her mentor, stepping back a little. Princess smiled warmly and nodded in response. “Thanks! Thank you!” Twi nestled against the alicorn once again. I glanced around, and when I saw the ponies genuinely happy for their friend, I couldn't hold back a smile myself. “Well, I’m happy, that everything worked out like this.” Tia stepped back from the student after a minute. Princess stepped aside to see us all. For some reason I thought for a moment, that this simple action was a bit of a strain on her. Friends, meanwhile, lined up side by side, practically touching each other and a little away from me. “Nightmare.” I turned my gaze at Celestia. “This unpleasant incident, unfortunately, has shown you ponies in a bad light, but I hope you'll give us a second chance. I also hope that here you'll make friends, learn to trust others, and be gentler in your decisions.” Princess hinted transparently at my "excessive self-defense”. “And be sure to visit the hospital: your injuries need proper care. Get used to it, and if anything, write to me and I'll try to help.” I silently nodded at Celestia as a reply. “Twilight.” She addressed her student. “Nightmare may be in a need of your help to settle down in our modern world, so drastically changed during the centuries. I count on you, not leaving her in this uneasy situation and learning more about friendship by helping her. I will wait for your letters of friendship as usual, every Tuesday, but, of course, you can always write to me at other times, too, if you need my advice.” “All right, Princess Celestia!” Twilight nodded at her mentor with enthusiasm. “Then farewell, my little ponies...” Suddenly, Tia cringed, and in a gesture, familiar from personal experience, put her shoe to her forehead beneath her horn. Looks like she was rushing her not in the best from - this is why I thought, that her smile is so unnatural... “Princess Celestia!” “Your Highness, do you need help?” Worried mares rushed to Tia. “No-no, thank you, I’m fine.” She smiled forcedly, putting down the hoof from her forehead. “I just need a little rest.” “Every one of us is ready to accommodate you in our houses, Your Highness!” Rarity bowed elegantly. “Our food may not be as fine as at Canterlot, and our furniture may not be as rich and comfortable, but we will be happy to please you in any way we can!” “Thanks for the offer, Rarity.” Tia smiled with the edges of her lips. “But I’m afraid I cannot accept it.” “But why, Your Highness?” The unicorn drooped. “Is it because our h-houses are so squalid, and... And...” “No-no, that’s not the case at all!” Celestia interrupted the almost crying designer in a hurry. “I just don't want to attract the attention of the townsfolk now, and that's inevitable if I go with you. All I want is a good healthy, restful sleep for at least an hour, and then I'll return to Canterlot at once.” “But where are you going to sleep?” Twilight was surprised. “I'll remember my youth and sleep on a cloud." She said, smiling at some memory of her own, and nodded at the cloud, floating by on the side of the Everfree Forest. “Farewell, my little ponies. I really need a rest right now.” Hearing goodbyes back, Princess flapped her wings, flung herself into the air, and slowly, with obvious tension, flew towards that cloud, where she settled under my dazed gaze. I shook my head and turned away. The picture of a no small horse weighing, at a guess, about three hundred kilograms, walking calmly on a cloud of water vapor did not fit in my mind. Damn, it's not a cartoon! How can it be real? What a crazy world. 15. Your New WorldWhile rubbing my eyes, I didn't even remember where am I right away. An unusual room, a small bed, on which I put myself with efforts, thus having absolutely “wonderful” feelings in two swelled legs, which are so because of an unpleasant pose, and acute pain in the neck and ribs. Oh, damn... With a force of will, I got a grip over myself and stood up, mentioning the actively aching side with a quite, not bad word in the process. While waking up on the move, I looked around and finally made clear where am I: bears lair of Twilight, library “Golden oak”. Yeah, right, she persuaded me to sleep in her accommodation and not having rooms in a hotel, like I planned from the get-go. I wanted to keep some distance, but the unicorn noticed reasonably, that finding a hotel that won't close if I show up is a great challenge, and then making a deal with its owner that will go crimson on his face, paling and stuttering from the honor of welcoming such a great alicorn as me. If he doesn't escape of course... No, my new pen pals honestly spread the word to the locals, so streets will not vanish if I come closer, and they will not hide in their basements... At least, not all of them. Who did not hide - got round by a wide arc, frightened to even look at me and making their pace faster in a desire to get out as soon as possible. Progress, yeah... But it’s still insufficient to calmly have rooms in a hotel without needs to breach the door and then derive the panicking owner... But this was my last sleep in Twilight's lair in any case! I cricked with a swelled leg and swore quietly. You'll break your back before you can fit on these one and a half meter bunks! If not the exhaustion - I'd not have fallen asleep. I did a short warm up, trying to not worry the hurt side, made the bed and sat down to think about next steps. I can make myself busy with magic: yes, my head was dizzy, but it's not aching and telekinesis could be spelled without an issue. On top of that, I have to eat something and visit the hospital for the purpose of treatment of my wounds - that advice came from Tia, and she knows how to heal. And yeah... I should take a checkup - just in case. Of course, it’s not my desire... But if alicorns are exposed to sicknesses and are very very mortal - it's better to know it beforehand... Medicine is not a thing that brings pleasure, but sometimes you cannot survive without it... But how awesome would it be to hear the diagnosis in the end: “Perfectly healthy! Go away!” and not the usual: “We-e-ell, you have this and that, make sure to come after two weeks, it's time-urgent to do this and that, after that we will order you to...” I cringed at the unpleasant memories petulantly. I will hope that the new corpse will satisfy my shy expectations... But all of this lays ahead, for now I should find some food - stomach refreshed memories about its empty and hungry existence. I can wash myself for a start... I walked downstairs to the first floor indolently. These stairs are such a shame! You walk downstairs with your two legs while holding your torso steady, but now there's a fair trim on the nose because of the second pair of legs, and you have this stupid feeling that you'd turn a somersault! I hope that I would get used to it - locals walk somehow? I stopped for a second, inspecting the main room of the library and remembering where to go forward, and thanks that Twilight made a quick tour-room of her lair yesterday. My gaze caught a clock - wow, it's almost already eleven. I fell asleep around ten in the evening. However, maybe, it's not a surprise - the day was full of events, so I got tired a little... When I entered the bathroom and stopped before a sink, I froze: how to wash myself? I looked down at my hooves, looked around for a toothbrush or a bast wisp - it didn't make itself clearer. God damn it, how to wash your face's muzzle when you have no arms and you cannot fill your palms with water?! Telekinesis on water - and, as I suppose, on every liquid - works very poorly, it's a fact. Staying with a stupid face for a minute, I decided to just turn the water on and try something, maybe it would work out. In the end, I adapted to swash water in my face with my own leg, and, with pain and misery, I washed myself. By the way, a problem: omnipresence legs! The usual and common local phrases - if I judge by the experience of talking to Twilight and the others yesterday - are like: “Support my head with a leg”, “Put a leg to the forehead” and others like that call to me a few different associations, and even detailing like “fore leg” help weakly... On the other hand - how to call it differently? I raised a fore limb before me, examining it from all sides. Clearly not an arm. Frankly speaking, not a paw as well - paws have fingers or at least claws. It’s a leg! But fucking hell, this “leg” breaks my brain so hard! While shutting my own eyes with annoyance, I spit at this question with my decision of will and left the bathroom. Maybe I’d adopt to this as well. Maybe. Well, let's go for food? I went downstairs, grabbed bags, looked at the armor for a second - no, thanks: why do I need it in a store? - and went back, swearing at myself on the move for improvidence - I should have taken the bags at the start and not running back and forth. In the bags, as I pointed out yesterday, were only money: maybe Tia decided that I'd buy something that I need myself. It makes sense, you know.... And it was not a small quantity of those, at least in terms of numbers: six hundred of golden - or merely goldish? ...Roundels, prepackaged fifty-fifty in two sacks. Coins, by the way, were very strange: just a cylinder with wide jutting edge and that's all! No nominal, no profile of a monarch, no coat of arms, no the year of mint - nothing: identical empty head and verso! That’s bullshit - not money! With a small access to the materials - it's a big gift for false-coiners! And it's not clear with their value either. Worth of these money, if I'd believe the cartoon, comparatively not a big one - something like “one coin for a kilo of apples”. But what to pay if I need one apple, or, let us say, a cheap box of matches? Or they just have money with less value - I just didn't get it and I’m not in touch? Yeah, it seems that the idea of going to buy some food isn't a good one... I was forced out of thoughts by the opening front door, before which I basically froze. “N-nightmare? Hello...” Twilight greeted me perplexedly - she didn't expect to run into me nose to nose. Spike that came along with her, swept a quick look over me and hastened to slip through me and hide in a room: I was absolutely not liked by the pangolin yesterday. Well, it happens sometimes. I’m not a girl to be... Liked by everyone... Damn. “Greetings.” I drove away my thoughts and said hello back and made a step aside to let the unicorn into the house. “You... You was going somewhere?” She interested carefully, nodding at my bags. “I was going to buy some food. But I've understood that I do not know the purchasing ability of modern money.” I marked the situation. “I’ll explain!” Mare reported with enthusiasm and returned to her previous cautious tone instantly . “But... Why did you want to buy food?” “Because I want to eat. Surprising, isn't?” I couldn't hold myself and chuckled. Kinda strange question. What does she need? “You didn't understand me in the right way! Just... Well... Do you really think that I wouldn't share food with you? Spike will cook the breakfast now... A late breakfast.” Twilight smiled shyly. “And all of us will have lunch! And after that I can show you the town!” “Town? Not a bad idea.” I answered at the last phrase, thinking that it's best to keep silence about food question. I prefer the principle: “It’s better when people owe you than you owe them”, especially in relationships with people when you already owe them. I already have a huge debt before Tia for her help, and now “collecting credit” from someone else. From the other side, I’m not in the right spot to choose: I have nothing of my own. Even body and name are a loan. I clenched the teeth angrily and rolled my jaw muscles. Sometimes, grief about relatives, about my old life, is taking its place from all the piles of fresh memories. There was my home, and here?... “Ehm, Nightmare?” The library owner's uncertain voice forced me out of my unhappy thoughts. “Did something happen?” “Nothing to speak of.” I recalled gloomy. “I’ll be upstairs.” I moved to the stairs and didn't even wait for an answer. Untimely short thought scattered wound that still did not heal itself, collapsing already dark mood from the morning below the line. I wanted to be alone. I swept a funereal glance over my cot upstairs, dropped bags onto it and laid next to them, right onto smooth floorboards. It was firm a bit, but acceptable. Thoughts about the past sprang up again. I snorted annoyingly, trying to get rid of them: does it even matter? I have to live here now, not there... To distract myself, I took the saddle bags, retrieve a sack with coins and poured them onto the floor before myself. I had one idea yesterday... I, gradually, one by one, started to take the coins before me up. One froze before my eyes, then another one, then the third one... The muscles of the neck have strained, as if trying to compensate the weight of what was lifted, but with a very big stockpile; energy in the horn started to hum, being felt almost physically. And with every next coin this feeling... This hum was something like more nervous, and every next golden roundel felt almost as twice as heavy as the previous one with my neck. On the fifty third coin, when my horn started to get pins and needles at its bottom, I had to put my head onto my legs - on my fore legs! Because honestly - it was hard to hold it steady, and I ended my experiment and dropped a pile of money onto the floor. I think that I could take even sixty, but through even greater force. Now I've got a new task - was it many or not? Nevertheless, even without it, I understood something: gradual increasing of the burden allowed me to firmly understand how does this burden feel on the horn and how it signals about an upcoming overwork. I lifted up one coin once again. It’s still a strange thing - telekinesis... In a few days I got used to that much that I use it reflexively, like I used my own hands back in the days. I forced the coin to slowly rotate and thoughtfully gazed at it. A few days ago I had to concentrate with all of my force, wanting to lift up a pillow from a bed. Is it reflexes of the body or... I shivered, telekinesis faded away and coin drove off me under the bed, resoundingly chattering against the floorboards. Wait, what?! What a feeling that was? I found a new one with my eyes hastily, lifted it with my telekinesis and narrowly dug into it with my gaze, trying to hear all of my feelings simultaneously. Damn, was it a trick of my mind? It wasn't. I FELT the coin with my telekinesis! Weakly, implicitly, like through thick gloves, but, even with closed eyes, I felt something like a round, chill item with my magic! I threw off the coin and grabbed a shoe. A more difficult form felt badly, but I could feel it nonetheless! Wow... How is it even possible?! I clearly remember, that a few days ago, when I just started to familiarize myself with telekinesis, I felt nothing! Or I just didn't pay attention? No, It’s easy to detect... I’ll not ask how does it work anyhow. At least for now. There are lots of things that can break your brain with ease, they’re on every step. Yesterday, when we were walking to this library, I tried to find out how such beefy Celestia can walk across clouds. Answer, if the main idea is saved, can be delivered in one word: “Magic”. Maybe she just hesitated and lost her confidence, clearly seeing me as a danger, so she tried to answer abruptly, stiffly, not going into details, maybe that part had played its role... I don't know. “Nightmare!” Mentioned unicorn calls me. I slightly shivered from this surprise, while going back into the real world. I didn't drop the shoe, managed to save concentration. I’m improving over myself. I returned the element of the armor back, next to the three alike, and swiftly scrabbled coins in a pile on the bed: another interesting moment - telekinesis, as it seems, can work in different modes for groups of objects. It was a lot easier to hold something like a united “pile of coins” than a lot of coins on a standalone basis. I couldn't hold myself from another short experiment: I tried to divide the pile on two approximately equal parts. This activity was an easy one, but to hold two smaller parts is a different talk. I sacked money in the bag - I’ll sort them out afterwards - and stood up from the floor, moving to stairs. “Nightm!... Oops!” I ran into Twilight a second time this day, nose to nose. She, as it seems, didn't wait for my reaction at her call and decided to go after me herself. I looked at the frozen mare before me on the upper stairs questioningly. When she met my gaze with my glowing eyes, she hastened to look away for some reason. I saw it more than once and still can't understand it - why. Spike, for example, has the same narrow extended pupils, and about my iris that is shining... And what? Although, on the other side, there’s something in my new body's gaze, something uncomfortable. Even I was trying to not look at myself in the mirror, if I remember correctly... “Breakfast is on the table.” Pony informed me. “Let’s go?” “Lead the way.” I nodded and gave way for Twilight to turn back, and followed her. Unicorn started her way downstairs, weaving with her tail left-right reflexively. I lost my pace and almost began to slide down the stairs - it's good that I was able to freeze myself in time - when I looked under mare's tail unintentionally. There was NOTHING - only smooth lavender fur, like everywhere on her body. I shook my head, dealt with my one second stupor and followed Twilight again. I could have been really freaked out while thinking: do ponies breed themselves with division, if not the yesterday’s shower. I've understood it by my own experience, that they do not, God damn it... And here it is again, this damn magic of course. I have to read something about it - I just cannot ask it head-on, really... The first floor met me and Twilight with an inexpressive smell of some porridge and hardly sensible aroma of fresh fruits. There is no special joy in these smells, but my mood has raised - finally, food! On a relatively small, but cozy kitchen, Spike was going to end table appointments. Small dragon looked so busily and seriously, that I couldn't hold myself and smiled. “It’s ready, Twilight! Come to table.” He smiled to the mare and looked at me sheepishly, went aside, while removing an apron from his body. I followed the mare’s example: nipped onto a low, but wide stool and started to look at the today's menu. Entrée is kind of a substation that made of glue: either semolina, or oaten, or way too cooked rice porridge - I’m not a master in these semi fluid things, I have concerns about every God damn thing about it. No, Spike, we will not be friends. You could just make a simple buckwheat cereal, couldn't you? Damn, this is why I wanted to go to the market, to buy things that I like... But in another person's monastery you have to eat what others give you. Second course is a simple salad made of vegetables, sandwiches with some flowers on the desert. The last ones lifted a question - will they be able to be liked to a pony's body, but with a kit of non-grass eating teeth? I should check it out. But for the starters - a dish of hot slimy mush that tastes like old cellulose... ... Hm, not bad, eatable - this is my verdict in my thoughts, when I ate the whole dish. Not a masterpiece, but I hadn't have to shove the porridge into myself with words like “For mum, for dad, for God knows who”, as I thought earlier. The salad, most of which was made up of fresh cucumbers, was also quite pleasant, although it did not cause such a storm of flavor as the one I tasted in the castle yesterday - I must be getting used to it, I guess... Sandwiches had a dual impression: flowers had a good flavor, and, at the start, I liked everything, but aftertaste with its bitterness ruined the whole impression a bit. Moreover, I still don't understand the reason of sandwiches with flowers being a thing: what’s the use of bread here? I know that damn sausage without bread is not everyone's cup of tea, needless to say about the butter, but why would someone stick the flavor of flowers with heavy bread? No, I liked the flowers alone, definitely, I liked them more. Generally - good, even tasty sometimes. The only moth that tainted the food was the need of eating only with one side of my jaws, trying to not touch the wounded cheek. Luckily, it's not aching that hard as it was yesterday, and other wounds now cause only discomfort - not straightforward pain sensations. I had a swift thought that I’m hurrying the events with a hospital - it seems that everything will heal up by itself. Meanwhile, the breakfast went in a gloomy and repressed atmosphere. Even when we reached the tea - by the way, it's not black or green, it's local herbal tea, but not bad for my taste - there still was unpleasant silent, that sometimes was cut off by an accompaniment of meal's sounds, like swallowing and and knocks of the spoons, and by a single Spike's request to hand over sugar. The dragon tried to mix incompatible - he tried to keep an eye on me while trying to not meet my gaze at one time, the Princess’ student, as I thought, wanted to ask something, but didn't have the courage to start talking. “Thanks! I’ll go upstairs.” Dealing with tea faster than others, I rose from the table and didn't wait for the traditional: “To good health!” I left the kitchen and went to the stairs. It was my imagination or I heard sighs of relief? I prepackaged the gold in sacks and put on my breastplate and shoes and swept a thoughtful gaze at the helmet, but after quick thinking, I decided to leave it here: they would not beat me up this time, wouldn't they, hey? Ending my appearance with bags, I descended onto the first floor again. “Twilight, I’m ready!” I said it for everyone to hear, examining shelves with books. “I’m on it! A few minutes!” She recalled. I nodded to myself and backed to books. Quite a huge collection here, especially for a humble library of a small town. And everything is in good condition - no torn or, at least, severely shabby frontispiece, and inside, as I think, no torn pages or lewd pictures on margins. I was going to grab one and review it, but it's too late. “I’m ready! Let’s go?” The unicorn came to me with some bags attached to her hips as well and packing a marching ink-pot and a pile of note quills into them. “Let's go.” I answered and stepped aside to give her way forward and went in the street right afterwards. It met us with cloudy weather, pleasant wind and a light-blue earthpony, purposefully trotting towards the library. When she saw me, she stopped dead in her tracks and after a second-long pause just turned away dumbly and ran back - only a crimson tail flashed and disappeared around the cornet. Twilight sighed sadly, I moved with my wing uncertainly: maybe this runner just forgot to turn off her iron, who knows? “Where are we going to?” I asked the unicorn. “We-ell... Maybe «Sugarcube corner»?” She said it with some doubt. “It's not that far, and I think that Pinkie would be happy to see you...” “Why not?” I tried to shrug with shoulders as an answer. “Let’s go, I’m not against to see her too.” Some time that we spent walking, both of us were quiet. I've been looking at bright and cozy houses around us, a few funny and multicolored strangers that tried to dig their head into their shoulders and hastened their pace, and sometimes they looked at Twilight with perplexity or sympathy. The mare herself, by the way, started to worry me: yesterday, in Celestia's presence, she was confident, even though had done a serious offence and had to apologize, but today - she remembers me Fluttershy. Yeah, I should buy something for Fluttershy as an appreciation... The mare yet again turned her head to me, tensely bit her lips and after a few seconds she turned away again, not having enough courage so start a talk. “Twilight, you need something?” I asked directly when I caught another gaze. “N-nothing!” She shivered and tried to turn away quickly. “Well, nothing important, I mean... Actually, I just curious, but..” She started to panic. Yeah, if she had nails - she could have chew them up ‘till the elbow. I chuckled. “Ask, come on.” I relented while looking at her hustle for a few seconds. “I can?” It seems that she doesn't believe it. “Not about the Moon.” I answered when a conclusion has come just in time about the things she can ask about. “A... But...” She drooped, but has already taken the paper out of her bags, ink-pot and quill, while holding it with telekinesis simultaneously. “I don't want to remember it.” I grumbled, foretelling her question. “Everything was gross.” “I get it...” Twilight prolonged quietly, putting her writing implements away reluctantly. “By the way, you wanted to tell me about the money, didn't you?” I remembered it to the mare after a few minutes just to get rid of unpleasant silence. “Yeah, of course!” She cheered up immediately and smiled. Yeah, that's a horse of a different color... “The modern golden bit entered into circulation...” ... The lecture was quite interesting, but sometimes I had to back-pedal Twilight every time she was blown away by herself when she tried to tell me about either history, personalties or magic. Firstly, money here were under a spell, and it also serves as a perfect protection against false-coiners. So perfect, that Twi didn't even understand whom I was talking about - it was so long ago when one tried to really do it. In reality, spell was a very simple one - not by the execution of course: mud cannot glue to coins. Stands to a reason, considering that taking these into mouth, when buying something, is a usual business for pony. Secondly, to my big surprise, golden bit - or bits, as some call it - is the smallest instrument of payment. And yeah, for one coin you can buy something like half of a kilo of apples. And the answer on the question “What if I want to buy one apple” killed me dead: “Buy a few, take one for yourself and give others to your friends or strangers. Everyone will be happy with that gift, no one would decline it, really!” I just stood for half of a minute and stared at the mare, trying to think it out: is she joking or not. When she spotted my far-eyes, she explained that there’s a difference in big cities, where random ponies can't get a gift just out of the blue - only for friends and pen-friends. Honestly, it didn't make a big change for me after such an explanation... We came to the residence of the Cake's family and Pinkie Pie, while discussing details, like prices for immovables and wages of different professions. Against my expectations, the tea-room was empty: no visitors, only Pinkie stood behind her desk and reclined her head upon her legs gloomily - forelegs! - and looked at a wall darkly. It seemed to me that her mane lost its former shape when compared to yesterday. Something's wrong. “Hi, Pinkie.” I greeted her. She exhaled heavily when noticed me, and it seems that she became even more depressed. When I came closer, I remarked her suspicious red eyes. Yea-ah... If someone has offended her - his skin would be inside out! “Hello, Night. And hello to you, Twilight.” She tried to pretend the earthponies’ high spirit, but it seems that she understands that it's useless and just looked at me sadly. “Sorry-sorry-sorry, Nightmare! I haven't achieved anything!” She sobbed with her nose. “What’s happened?” I stopped in my tracks. “Why you're sorry and why you must be?” “Well, you’ve arrived in Ponyville just yesterday, yes? And that means that you need a greeting party in honor of your arrival, where you can became acquainted with all the citizens of Ponyville, to make new friends... And you really-really need friends, Night!" Yea-ah, it seems that now I understood about the situation. “You tried to gather guests for the party, but didn't succeed.” I stated. “Yes...” She jaded. “I tried, baited, blandished, but it's a lost cause. When they hear about what we’re going to celebrate, ponies immediately decline my indentations - someone fabricated nonsense about their “superurgent-superpressing affairs”, but someone just said into my face straightly - they want to be out of your reach and will not even make a step outside!” The pink mare’s voice was clinking because of outrage. “And, in the end, I... Generally... Nothing worked out, Nightmare! Sorry! Listen all these made-up pretexts to not go and stupid bedtime stories about you was... I just couldn't take it.” She almost dropped dead at the end of her story and sniveled with her nose. “Ponies shouldn't do so...” Twilight mumbled quietly and started to gaze at the floor. Her tribesmen's behavior was really offending to her. I bypassed the desk and hugged the sad earthpony with my wing. It was her turn to cheer me up yesterday, and today is mine... In the end, this was the very me who said that in need one sees who his friend is, wasn't it? “Don't be sad, Pinkie.” I smiled at the surprised a bit pink pony with my lips only. “It’s not worth it. For the starters - I don't like huge crowds, and another thing is that it's better for me when they honestly refuse to go than being surrounded by false smiles and insincere declarations of friendship.” The door bell unexpectedly clinked, and a pegasus tried to enter the store. Tried - because when he had made his way ‘till the middle of the room, he saw me behind the desk and froze, hesitating to do a step. “Ops...” The stallion said with a strained voice. “Come in, feel free. We’re always happy to see new faces.” I cheered him, but the stallion jumped and started to swiftly-swiftly spin his head, made a step back fitfully and closed the door, whose bell made another “clink!” Twilight followed the pegasus with her eyes and sighed. Pinkie did the same. “And why should we gather such ones?” I said to the pink pony, waving with a wing towards the door. “To see how they try to hide in every corner from me? If it's so principal to you to make a party for me - invite those who know me already and who is not afraid of me. In the end, is it a bad to party with a small group?” “In itself - maybe not.” Pinkie said thoughtfully. “But it's a welcoming party! It's a way to acquaint and find new friends! And it's a good thing to have as many friends as possible! And if a few pony would come - then a few friends you'd have - this is bad!” The party pony just crushed my points. Still, I gained some ground: her mane increased its volume, ears are straightly up, and the sadness on her face was changed to kind of thrill. “No, Night, there should be everypony at this welcoming party! I’ll try again and everything will be fine!” Damn... Stubborn as a... “Take it easy, Pinkie. You’ll do it when the time comes. And I can find friends without a party.” “You can. But it's better with a party!” Pink-haired knocked a hoof against the desk determinedly. “However, you may be right in one thing: there’s no way to gather everypony in a fast pace. But I’ll try again, I promise!” Oh, Pinkie... It’s good that she recovered - it was painful to see. I ultimately patted the pink back of the thoughtful about something pony and stepped aside, taking place before the desk near Twilight. “Fine.” The earthpony surfaced from her thoughts and smiled. “It seems that you wanted to buy something?” “No, we just wanted to visit you.” I smiled in answer. “Twilight's showing me the town.” “Got it! Wait a second...” The mare nodded with her pink mane and hid for a few seconds under the desk. “Nightmare, Twilight, here, take it. To refresh yourselves and to make yourselves feel better.” She put a box of cakes at the market stall, emerging back. “At my expense!” It's almost common. Almost. “Thanks, Pinkie.” Twi smiled, packing the box with presents in her right bag. “Thanks.” I hesitated for a moment, but joined to the appreciation. “But I think that it's time to go - you can be left without customers today.” I chuckled. “Ah, nothing.” She waved away. “I was happy to see you!” After saying goodbyes to Pinkie Pie, we left “Sugarcube corner” and moved to the center of the town, where we planned to head for the “Carousel” boutique, to Rarity. “I’m sorry about the party, Nightmare.” Twilight condoled when we went in streets. “Pony shouldn't repulse others in such a way! It’s wrong It's better for them to not fear you, to learn about you, but they don't even want to try, to give you a chance!” The unicorn sighed. “Aren't you afraid yourself? Could you give me a chance if not the Celestia’s word, m?” I eyed my companion from head to foot. Twilight remained silent eloquently, dropping her ears down. 16. The Red CrossI slightly outpaced my bethinking companion, stepping first on a crossroad with high green hedge around it, and in the same second, a punch struck my ill-fated right side, nailing me to the ground. “F-fu-uck!” I hissed martyrly, curling up painfully and trying to put every limb on the wounded place at once reflexively. I've had a moment of deja vu: twenty-four hours ago I had met harmony and friendship in Ponyville in the same way, the only difference is that the road is not paved, so I saved my brow, and even didn't bite the cheek. The strike got me very bad: not right into the side, but lower, where it passes into the belly - and this place, unfortunately, is a way more sensitive... Twi's voice can be heard nearby, it seems like she's reading somebody a lecture, but I didn't pay attention - not the first priority, you know. After a few seconds, when the pain faded away a little bit, I started to scrape myself off the road. I wasn't able to stand up at the first try and wasn't able to do it myself - it was very unpleasantly to even move with the right legs, especially with the hind one, and attempts to lean on them added a new way of suffering to my already fucked life. A pink field of telekinesis, that enveloped me, was greeted by me with a thankful nod. Twilight, which helped me to stand up, nodded in answer and turned around to the, seemingly, reason of my bad general condition. “Oh...” I sighed painfully, trying to take the weight on the right legs. Damn it. It seems that I'd not escape the hospital for sure, and I think it'd be now. Two punches almost in one place in one day! Just my luck... “Twilight.” I spoke hoarsely. “When Celestia gives me an invitation to leave Canterlot - remind me to decline it. If I leave her castle, everyone tries to kill me everyday!” Tilting to a side and crippling with every leg, I came up to my companion and froze, drilling a hole in a pony that just was on the verge of killing me. E-ehm... I... I was expecting to see someone else. Don't know whom, but not her for sure! Before Twi, just on the road, a well-known to me by the cartoon orange pegasus with dark-pink mane was examining the ground beneath her legs. A removed helmet was laying nearby, a scooter with broken handle and without one wheel. This is why I got nailed out of the blue... And by the springboard-looking bulge further on the road, it may be not an idiom. “Oops...” Filly reduced herself to atoms, when she heard my words and lifter her gaze. “M-miss Twilight...So yo... Your friend is... Is the Mare in the Moon?!” She said with fear, twitching like a leaf. It seems that this driver successfully had not seen who she's flying at... Surprise. “Correct.” I assured, eying the pegasus from head to foot gloomily. She noticeably paled, and hesitated to stand up, but instead of running away, as I firstly thought, she uncertainly came up closer and bowed clumsily. “Forgive me, the Mare in the Moon, please, forgive me! I... I didn't try to... You know... Kill you! It was an accident, it really was! I...I’ll bring the biggest of candies during Nightmare Night! Just... Just don't send me to the Moon, please!” A pair of purple eyes gazed to me with hope, shining from tears. And how to be angry at her, how? “Nightmare Night doesn't stop since my arrival. Even during day.” I pretended that I didn't understand them. “She meant a holiday during October, Nightmare. Nightmare Night is its name.” Twilight explained. “I wish I knew how to celebrate it know when you're here.” She ended half-whisper. “So you’ll forgive me?” The pegasus paid attention at herself shyly. “Please! I... I’ll gather two buckets of candies! It wasn't on purpose, I’m not lying!” “Gather it first - then I’ll say my verdict.” I muttered tiredly. What to do with her, what? It would have been a lot easier if she had tried to talk her way out... “But for now - you can go. And yeah - if you do that again - you wouldn't buy off yourself.” “I got it! Thank you, Mare in the Moon!” The pegasus bowed awkwardly once again. “Goodbye. Goodbye, miss Twilight.” Leaving the hapless driver to restore the “race car”, I somehow moved towards the local hospital with the lavender unicorn. “Nightmare...” Twilight called me after some time, thinking about something before. “No one tries to kill you! And I’m convinced that no one will!” “What are you talking about?” I didn't’ get it, too busy with moving legs to minimize hellish pain in the side. “Well... You said that after your leave from Canterlot, everyone tries to kill you... But it's false! Ponies do not do that! Do not this anymore.” Twi corrected. “I’ve read a lot of historic books and I know, that during the antiquity... Well....” She hesitated. “We had been practicing killing.” I hinted to her. Unicorn nodded shortly, swallowing fitfully. “Y-yes. I understand that for you it may be... M-m... I mean, for the time you had been in Equestria, it was...” Mare couldn't find words again. Why is she so nervous? “Normal.” I hinted again. Magician lost her pace and twitched nervously, casting an eye on me with a mix of pity and dread. “Celestia forbid that it was... “Normal’!” Twilight twitched again. “Usual... A bad one as well...” She sighed. “Well, I hope you got it. So... Maybe it was a usual thing back then, but now ponies don't do that! It’s awful! This is the worst crime of all!” “Yeah? What a shame, what a shame... Because... Oh my... I have the right mood to rip someone's head off!” I bared my teeth crookedly. “Nightmare, no! Do not kill someone, please, I beg you! Don't...” Laying ears back, Twilight looked at me with badly hidden dread, trying to step back in the same time. “It was a joke.” “A-a...” Mare froze for a few seconds, gazing hard into the space with a fixed glare. “What?! A j-joke?! I mean... No, Nightmare, killing is not a joke!” Exclaimed the scowled unicorn harshly when she was back in the real world. “No one messes around with such things! I almost... O-oh...” Twilight sighed with relief. Yea-ah... She's gone crazy. I have a feeling that she didn't even think that I’m just kidding. It seems that the locals don't respect the topic of death and killings. Interesting thing - how would she react on a such usual thing for a student as “My mom will kill me”? Would she take it literally as well? I think I won't check it... Be careful about your jokes here - just in case... “Yeah, you're boring ones... Okay, good to know. I’ll try to not joke like this anymore.” “Thanks.” The lavender pony nodded slightly forcibly. The conversation died out at this point: Twilight was minding her own business again, I hadn't the mood to talk at all. It looked like my feelings were brightly depicted on my face - I think I even got a few pitiful gazes from strangers... From the strangers who had the courage to even look at me. The way to the Ponyville's stronghold of medicine took, by my feelings, five-ish hours: when we came closer to the building of the hospital, I was ferociously exhausted and tired: constant pain, playing on my nerves like on strings, was making me mad. Wounded side hurts, right legs hurt because of the wounded side, left ones - because of the need to always keep all my weight on them, brow hurts along in the ride. I, constantly swearing under my breath, was getting more nervous with every step. However, it became only worse when we’ve reached the hospital: stairs were leading to its high porch. The first stair steps made it clear, that walking on a flat surface, as it turned out, is very comfortable and does not hurt at all. Twilight helped me out, using her telekinesis once again. Unicorn didn't have the strength to lift me up, but even a lesser weight helped me to somehow make it. Stopping at the porch to restore breath, I saw a mare through windows of the hall-door, making her way to the exit. She, in her turn, saw me, shivered and rethought her desire to leave abruptly, making a way back into the interior of the hospital after an internal nontransparent door. Yeah, thanks for the reminder, skittish. “Twilight, can you make sure that the staff won't run away from me?” I addressed to the unicorn, which was gazing this situation with a sad stare. “I, of course, like their amusing escapes sometimes, but for now - let’s say I’m not in the mood to chase them.” “You like it?!” She has been either in awe or in dread. “It doesn't matter now anyways...” She stopped herself on time. “I can try to warn them only. I hope it'd help... Wait for me here, okay?” Waiting for my nod, the magician entered the building. I followed her with a gaze until she disappeared behind the internal door. In the following minutes I exhausted myself even harder, trying to find such a pose, in which I could rest with relative comfort, but didn't succeed. Every move, triggering pain, annoyed me even harder, but I couldn't just lay down on the ground - I'd not get myself up after this. When Twilight finally returned, I was trying my best to not cry out loudly. “Nightmare, how are you?” She looked at me pitifully. “Let's go.” I cringed wordlessly and nodded in answer forcedly and followed her. The hall of the hospital met me with bright pastel colors of the interior, a typical desk of registry and with an anxious silence, flying in the air, as soon as I entered. Medponies shrank into themselves behind the desk as if they were trying to be smaller; patients, waiting for their turn, turned pale and shaded, vaporizing somewhere deep in the hospital as soon as I turn my gaze to them. The only ones, which reacted more or less calmly, were a small herd of doctors in lab coats, and it seems that they've been waiting for me. Even still, their first reaction was really nervous: someone stepped back, someone swallowed loudly, someone's whispered something under his breath. Only a middle-aged mare stood out - someone like “woman in her 40s” - which reacted only with a hardly-seen interest. A serious lady, respect. A pause hung. Honestly, I haven't been expecting a whole medical board, preparing myself for this standard complications, like all these agreements about personal records, waiting for the queue and other usual things, and now I’m standing in some kind of confusion. The doctors were hesitating as well, not having desire to speak to me. Fat beige stallion mops his forehead every minute with a sleeve - yes, a sleeve! - of a lab coat; in the eyes of the mare near him, which has the palest and saddest look, I managed to read something like: “Please, go away! Please!” Before she turned her gaze away. Other medics looked the same, only the mentioned mare - unicorn with a bright-gray fur and crimson mane with streak of gray - looked like an isle of calmness, examining me with a distant-professional gaze without any wariness, let alone fear At the end of the day, she was the first one to pick words. “Colleagues, please, calm down. Get a hold of yourselves.” She addressed to the others. Strangely enough, her words succeeded in the task. “Good day, deary.” She turned to me. “What seems to be your problem?” Deary?! Me?! However, tastes differ: she likes me - I’m fine with it. And it's not top priority right now. Let me be a “deary” - just heal me. “I've been beaten. Twice in one day.” Chuckling wryly, I marked my prehistory. “A bump on the left brow, a cheek is bitten until it bleeds and two good blows into the right side. Severe pain, causes troubles with walking, shoots in the right legs and wing." “In the side? Does it disturb breathing? Is there a prickling when you inhale? Gurney, fast!” The fat one changed himself immediately after my story, crushing all the shyness and nervousness in a second. “I’m a traumatologist.” She answered on my unspoken question. “Broken Arm at your service.” I hummed. An interesting name. “No, I can breathe without problems. And the gurney is not needed - I’ll go myself.” “It’s better for you to get a pleasant pose lying and rest.” Doc insisted. “So let's wait for the gurney and we’ll find out your problems.” “Fine, as you say.” I sighed. He knows best, I guess... ... I woke up as if by a click - immediately, with a rush. Yeah, this is what I've been told when they put me into sleep with a spell in a ward. I was turning around on the bed for a bit, laying more comfortable. The side is still chill after inunction of some cream, also creating a light feeling of numbing. It worked, by the way - it almost doesn't hurt. So they offered me to sleep a few hours, until this thing starts working. Generally, the attendance of the traumatology wasn't well remembered by me: all this created mess around me stuck in the mind like separate parts. The gear and bags were given off to Twilight; when she heard that this is not a question for thirty minutes, she left and went home. After that, there was a wide, almost quadratic gurney for laying on side and the traumatology itself, where I was poked with crystals, doctors were shining with their horns and scowled busily. They worked at my forehead and rubbed in some thick creme, and after that I went into the ward to sleep a few hours. Generally, nothing serious happened to me - I've got only some bruises. Strangely enough, all thanks are going to Tia - her healing spell, which she casted on me day before yesterday, was still working, healing my yesterday's wounds and, therefore, making the consequences of today's RTA less severe. Arm didn't exclude the possibility of me, laying for a long time in this ward in other case... Damn it, I wish I knew how to pay off all the things she's done for me... Although Arm didn't help me with the cheek, sending me to the dentist with this problem. But only after my calm sleep - to not disturb medicine's process! I chuckled. When the doctors got into their known nature of healing their neighbor, they - not all, but for the most part - forced themselves to forget who the Mare in the Moon is and started to work. But they still kept some distance: they talked politely and debonairly, even with some dread, always warning me before casting a spell, that it’s not an attack, they wouldn't hurt me and describing all the approximate feelings I can get after. Also, they recommended me to be medically examined here, to check presence of any other problems and create a normal patient chart... I didn't decline it - I've been thinking about it since morning. It won't go amiss, and they promised me that it wouldn’t be long: even if we count this sleep, I should be able to do everything until the evening; at least they said so... “YO-OU!!!” This furious call got me back into the real world. Yeah, this ward is for four, and when they drove me into it, one bed was occupied by someone - the neighbor was in a deep sleep, wrapping himself in a blanket with his head. I remember asking myself about his reaction on me... I turned to already known by voice neighbor, hazily understanding who, except me, can be laying in a ward of traumatology. From a next-door bed, Rainbow Dash, wrapped into a bandage across her body, looked at me angrily. What a meeting, damn it... “Me, as it strangely is. Well, you can congratulate yourself: you, even though not singlehandedly, managed to send me onto a gurney.” I chuckled awkwardly. “It is astonishing that they healed a villain.” Dash grunted. “It is.” I nodded too seriously. “You attacked me for no reason, beat me... It is really astonishing that they healed you, villain.” “You!... You!...” Pegasus started to gasp for air from the outrage. “You what? Isn't it true?” I curved my brow. “If you don't know, Celestia told me so much about friendship, about harmony... I almost had faith in it. And on the first meeting with pony outside the castle I was attacked. Bravo, you brightly demonstrated, that all these fairy-tales about friendship aren't worth a bit. Princess will be proud of you.” “I saved a pony from you!” Scowled Rainbow. “Was I slamming her? Did I even elevate my voice?” I rolled my eyes pointedly. “You grabbed her with telekinesis! I've seen it!” The rainbow-maned firmly stands for her cause. “Then you also have seen the reaction of others on me. As it turned out, such alicorn as me cannot ask the way without use of telekinesis - it's impossible without it.” I chuckled, adding a bit of pathos in the voice,. “Pf.” The pegasus grunted.” Your stupid excuses are..." “Are so convincing, that Princess Celestia didn't even say an admonish.” I ended the sentence for her. She chuckled distrustfully as an answer. “The fact that Princess granted amnesty for you, for some reason, doesn't mean that I must do the same.” She said after a small pause. “Just give me time to heal up and I’ll recall two broken ribs and no flights for a month! But start to look behind already, when walking down the street. Just in case.” Dash said to me with a curved smirk. Truly, don't dig a grave - she will do it herself! She likes to dance on a rake? It's not hard for me to repeat - just give me a reason... “We’ll see, painted.” A smile appeared along my entire face; I showed it to the stupid horse, putting down the desire to say a threat as an answer. “You're the one who's painted!” Grunting aggrievedly, Dash turned to a wall swiftly and started to pretend that she's sleeping. Good night, yeah... However, loneliness wasn't a long friend of mine: a medpony wedged in an open door - a young earth mare with white fur and pale-pink mane. “G-good day...” She greeted me shyly. “Miss... Ehm-m... Mistress... I mean...” Pony shrank her head into her shoulders. I was watching with interest, lifting a brow. “I meant... Oh, sorry, I... It's...” “If you don't know how to address to me - use my name.” I, finally, decided to help the poor mare. “Oh... Excuse me, please! I didn't want to insult you!” She blushed cutely. “It’s fine, I can understand your problems. Unfortunately, my old title “Her Majesty Queen of Nightmares, ruler of Equestria, Nightmare Moon” isn't relevant anymore, and I haven't got a new one.” I sighed pretentiously, not being able to hold a joke. “Alas, but you’ll have to use my name only.” Medpony shivered, having now paleness instead of blush, and strangely enough, I can see it on her white fur. Rainbow chuckled nervously, twitching with her wing and wrapping in a blanket more thoroughly. I bit tongue, calling myself an idiot. God damn it, I just cannot calmly look how they all seek for cover in corners from me - it’s so tantalizing to troll or laugh at someone, adding more gas into the fire! I have failed to step back... “So, what do you want?” I started to talk seriously. “A-a? Em... S-sorry... I just wanted to say that there's a visitor to you. You... Ehm... Do you want to spend a little bit of your time?” “Why not?” I tried to shrug with shoulders. “Let him in.” Medpony, nodding shortly, swiftly disappeared behind the door. Who's there? Twilight or Pinkie? Except for them, no one would... I didn't except to see this pony at all, which came in after a few seconds. Didn't except for a second time, by the way: in the open door, an orange pegasus came in, with a string bag of apples in mouth. “Very sleeping” Dash, while still turned with her back to me, raised her ears towards our side, preparing to eavesdrop with a someone else's conversation. It seems she doesn't know the idiom “Curiosity killed the pony”... “Hi.” I said with a little bit of surprise to the pegasus. She came closer to a nightstand and got on her hind legs, putting her bag onto it. “Good day, Mare in the Moon... I just... I just brought some apples, yeah. They're healthy, you’ll be healed in no time!” “You hadn't...” I mumbled, barely understanding how to react on it. “I had to! I think it would be right.” Firm filly looked at me. “Thanks...” I remembered just in time, because no one said her name to me, so, cutting word in half, I stared at her with anticipating. “Scootaloo, miss Mare in the Moon.” Orange pegasus understood my gaze correctly. Rainbow Dash, on which I spied out of the corner of my eye, twitched, like she was shocked and turned to us abruptly. What the hell is going on with her? “Nightmare Moon.” I called my name in answer, extending a hoof to the pegasus, which dabbed it with hers. “Thanks, Scootaloo.” “Little one... You just...” A strained Dash voice sounded, and she looked at Scoot with a lost stare. Now it's Scoot's turn to twitch. “Rainbow?! A...Ehm... What are you doing here?” Laying back her ears, she started to rattle nervously. “What am I doing here? I will have been living here for a minimum of two weeks!” The pegasus rose up. “After a meeting with her!” I got a disdainful nod towards me. “And you bring apples to her, to “be healed in no time”!” Dash's voice was full of grievance. Scoot shrank into herself, bitting her lip. I thought they’re not acquainted yet! But, judging by the reaction - they ARE acquainted, and Rainbow, mildly speaking, doesn't understand, why her faithful fan came with presents to me, but didn't to her! Damn, they’ll argue until death... “Sorry, Rainbow! I... I really didn't know that you're here! I've returned this morning.” The pegasus started to make excuses. “Wait, I’ll bring apples for you too! In a second...” “I don't need your damned apples!” Dash screamed with feelings. “I don't need anything!” Pegasus turned to the wall sharply, wrapping herself in a blanket with her head once again. “Rainbow, sorry, I didn't...” Scoot came closer to the rainbow-colored's bed. “Go away!” Was heard under the blanket hollowly, stopping the orange pegasus on half-word abruptly. Scootaloo slowly turned away. It was painful to look at the filly - there were tears in her eyes, ears were laid back to the head with sadness... Sweeping some lost gaze at me, she turned her stare to the floor meaninglessly. I wanted to cheer her up... The door opened, and Broken Arm broke into the ward with fast pace. “Good day, Nightmare! I've been told that you had awoken. How did you sleep? Is there any problem? Does the side hurt with severe pain?” The energetic pony threw questions at me. Scootaloo sneak into the closing door soundlessly, like she wasn't here at all. God damn you, doc! Could you entered in ten minutes?! I fucking hate this... ... My mood was lower than Mariana trench after what happened, and, for some reason, a feeling was chasing me, telling that this quarrel is my fault. I snorted evilly - why the hell is this my fault? But barely crying poor Scootaloo couldn't leave my head. And the apples she had brought were the best ones - I ate them with pleasure after the visit to the traumatologist... Arm, getting through my bad mood and straightforward answers, asked me, hastily examined and invited to his cabinet. I ended my examination there, and he said goodbye to me, giving me a medication form for a cream, ordering to come back in three-four days. I have to visit a dentist after this, and then another couple of doctors as part of my medical examination. I sighed and moved upstairs. With thoughts and following nervous patients and some doctors with a indifferent gaze, I made it to the study of local tooth puller. If there even was a queue to him, it just hid into hallways and other rooms, out of sight, so I calmly came closer to a door and knocked politely. “Come in!” A voice of a young stallion sounded behind the door. I entered the room. In the study, a pale-pink unicorn with acid-green mane was sitting - what a killing mix - and writing something. A lodgment with rests for head and medical lights was in the corner, and it was clear, that it's geared up to lay on side. It has a reason, though - the pose is relatively comfortable and allows to keep your head steady without any strain. Meanwhile, the pony ended his writing, tossed his quill into an ink-pot, lifted his green eyes’ stare, the color of his mane, at me. I immediately got it by the pupils, widening from the fear: we’re not getting along. “Mother...” She said chokingly and, stepping back abruptly, fell off a stool on the floor, raising a laughter for me. “Stay calm, mister!” I nailed him to the floor with telekinesis slightly. “I just need to...” The unicorn's horn glowed and a bright-green beam of magic tapped into me. Result of it was something like a punch to your horn: not a severe pain, mess in the head and the feeling of an impact wave inside. I just couldn't hold the concentration and pony set himself free from my telekinesis, springing to his feet and running past me to the door with a shaking head. “MARE IN THE MOON!” His panic scream was already heard in the hallway. “RUN, YOU FOOLS!” What a fucking idiot! They specially warned everyone... Yeah, but this fine fellow was absent! Ah, fine: the side does hurt just a little bit now because of the creme, so I’ll heal my shitty mood with this panicmonger. You asked for it, he-he... I walked out of the office and trot along the corridor briskly, following the screams and panic. ... Boo, damn it, we’ve got him... Instead of a funny tag game, there was a naturalistic chase with gunshots. Who knew that this young unicorn of a not serious look is a serious magician? And strangely enough - timid as hell: he didn't scare just a bit - he basically hit the panic bottom. Stopping the doctor, who lost all sense of proportion, was a task for me, a few of unoccupied doctors and uncommunicative comrades from psychiatry. When it had only begun, I thought that I’ll chase him for a little bit, catch him with telekinesis, talk to him... When this mad lad started to throw benches at me with telekinesis right on the run, I have understood, that something is going on wrongly. Fortunately, no one was hurt and support came to rescue swiftly. It’s good that they got the situation right on the move - I wasn't prepared to get my ass kicked by the doctors... Together, in fifteen minutes, the target was neutralized... Also, I ended up being in the psychiatry, so I was examined by the psychiatrist. Answered a few formal questions, then we started to discuss the recent chase - we were together there... Between ourselves, she said, that the dentist had some kind of a child trauma, and it's tied to the fact that he was scared by evil Nightmare in the childhood, and it was such a deep wound, that he still keeps this memory... And all fine and dandy, but here I come bodily... I even felt sorry for him. However, I was told that nothing seriously scary happened: all the chaos is not critical; fortunately, there's no wounded, and Shining Smile - the dentist - just needs a good sleep and recover. This is where it ended. Then it was a boring and plain walking, don't even had to have something with me - the pony doctors were papering all themselves. The only one who was really interesting - a specific doctor-unicorn, compound word of whom I failed to remember. He, as always, turned red, turned pale, stuttered and hid his gaze during the examination, but didn't try to get rid of me faster, but said something interesting. As it turned out, I have an unstable magic core now - it didn't adapt to a new richness of magic on the Equus when compared to the Moon,. This is where all the problems with any hard magic constrictions come from. Taking the notes to not load the horn at full and, if it's possible, use nothing more than telekinesis, I left the doc to take a cup of tea and to calm down and moved towards the end of this medical examination - some equalogist. Entering the last for today study, I saw the already known for me old unicorn behind a table, writing something thoughtfully with a quill in telekinesis’ field. “Wait a minute, deary, I end this and we’ll begin.” Medpony looked at me shortly, and it seems, that she completely doesn't give a heck about a black alicorn in her room. What a temperance! “And nothing like: “Mare in the Moon! Run! Save yourselves!”? I remembered the dentist with a bit of humor. “You're a mare.” Doctor chuckled, continuing to write. “And I, deary, can assure you, that I know something about mares, unlike some young dumbbells.” She marked a dot in the paper and rose from the table. “So, let’s take a look... Take a step aside to here, turn around, pull up your tail... “Turn around and pull up your tail”?! What she is going to look at... Oh, sh-hit! Something inside of me has been broken, I felt cold and discomfort. This is how I learned what does her name mean: “Gynecologist” on the local language! “Is this compulsory?” I asked nervously. “It is, deary. How we’ll make a patient chart, hm?” The unicorn curved her brow stiffly. “Come on, turn off the cover, bend down and pull up the tail. There’s nothing scary, you're not in the dentist's room.” “I wish I was.” I mumbled silently, swallowing viscous saliva with force and turning my back to the mare. “Ah... What the “cover” is?” I looked back at her, brightening up at the possibility of gaining time before the horrors. You can't postpone death by taking a deep breath... “Oh, deary.” Medpony shook her head with a sigh. “It was hard for you on the Moon, if you even don't remember so basic things... Cover - also named concealing spell - is, what some call, a world spell, one of the laws of the Universe. This is responsible for not making it possible for others, except the owner, to see... Some things. It can be turned off and on just by force of will, wishing it to not be seen or to be seen respectively. Or, as a variation, it fades away during arousal.” The mare explained with patience. “Enough of lectures. Bend down.” The mare commanded softly, but firmly. “I don't want to-o-o!!!” I cried out in my mind, swallowing fitfully again and sweeping a haunted look across the study. At the end of the day, making the decision, after a few long-lasting seconds, I doubled up my wobbly legs, satisfying other demands as well. “Here you go! And nothing hard, deary, yes?” A voice in the back said with satisfaction. “So-o, let's take a...” In the next moment I shivered from the touch, clenching teeth firmly at the same time, trying to not make any sound. Fucking shi-i-it! “Why are you so nervous, deary?” The unicorn asked somewhat perplexedly and with pity. “Your first time, I guess? It's fine, everyone is nervous during the first time. You’ll get used to it, don't worry.” Thanks, damn you, now I’m in the finest form of existing! And what if I’m nervous about the “get used to” itself - what to do?! I clenched my teeth even harder and closed my eyes tightly, prevailing over a new portion of touches, feeling the burning of my cheeks. There were only loud silent and shock in my head. “And that’s all.” The medpony said finally after a few endless minutes. “And there's nothing scary in it, is there, deary?” I somehow stood up on the wobbly legs, wishing to activate the covering magic at the same time - and, with an unbelievable relief, I understood that it works. “Everything is good.” The mare assured me with a satisfied smile. “I can't promise you, an alicorn, kids, but if you, deary, show an extraordinary effort in this - maybe you’ll be lucky!” She gave a wink at me. “Well, you can go now - I see you're in a hurry. See you next time, deary!” I nodded in answer nervously and bleated something that should have been a farewell, falling over the doorstep at the exit and almost went with my head over my heels. Heart in the chest was beating like a steam hammer, cheeks were on fire and you could use it as a lighter, wobbly legs were getting confused with each other, an absolute cacophony of feelings and thoughts was in my head, and in the soul - an unseen, until now, disorder. Oh, damn it... But... What a nasty woman: “If you show an extraordinary effort in this”! A picture stood before me, where I, accompanied by Big Mac, with distinctive moans and screams, show “an extraordinary effort”... “Fucking shit!!!” I screamed aloud, shaking head rabidly, feeling that my ears are starting to turn crimson, in addition to the cheeks. Roaring at a random pony, that looked at me with her scared eyes in shock, I ran to the stairs. I must run, and I must do it the fastest! If only I knew the road... Fine, the locals got used to me a little, don't run away en masse... I’ll ask this stallion about this... “He wouldn't refuse to help a mare, if she shows an extraordinary effort, would he?” The same picture with Big Mac appeared before my eyes. Damned horse! She said it on purpose, I fucking know it!!! “Don't like Mac - think about another stallion...” “ARG-G-H-H!!!” 17. Two Lonelinesses“Hi, Applejack! Glad to see ya!” Pinkie Pie waved with her hoof while leaning against a small fence. “Hi, sugarcube!” She chuckled mellowly while fixing her hat, but lost her enthusiasm entirely when she saw me. “Good morning, Nightmare.” Applejack said to me coldly. I nodded in answer wordlessly. “I’m giving Nightmare a trip across the town!” It was like Pinkie didn't notice any tension. “I’m free today, so I had decided to go to Nightmare because she got into the hospital, but, fortunately, she’s okay, everything is fine, the only problem is that Twilight is busy today and couldn't show everything as she wanted, but for her luck I’m free and thus I’ve decided to acquaint her with the town instead of Twilight!!!” Pinkie said that in one breath and smiled widely. I and the farmer-girl exchanged with the same lonesome gaze. Pinkie is a good talk partner when she's serious, and she, to everyone's surprise, can be serious. But sometimes she's getting too fast... “Easy, sugar cube.” Applejack showed a hoof before her in a stopping gesture. “I've not gotten - who is busy and how Twilight's in a bone-factory? What happened to her?” The orange mare looked at my companion with dismay. “You have gotten everything wrong!” The pink one giggled amusedly. “I heard that Nightmare came to hospital yesterday, but must be home already. I decided to go to her and check her. As it turned out - she's fine, but Twilight couldn't show her Ponyville due to her work. But I could! And we decided to start with your beautiful farm!” Slowly, like for infants, Pinkie paraphrased her thunder-like thought. She’s kidding. “A-a... I've heard 'bout that... I was there yesterday, about evening, to check Dashie. The doctors there do a fair amount of judgment about your black wench going after, going after... Dam’, well, after the one who messes around with one's teeth, throwing benches at him. Poor fella almost lost his marbles.” The farmer-girl swept a gaze over me with dislike. “And the way you've said that I thought that Twilight got her fair amount of bruises.” The orange pony nodded towards me. I couldn't hold myself and tittered, holding my hoof at my forehead. They've made it up - they’ve frightened themselves. “Made muck and said “This is my luck.” AJ grumbled darkly and twisted a cold gaze to me. “I just thought that the story could be more interesting if it had the aspect of me wanting to eat him. With his robe.” The mares, paling significantly, made a few steps back from me simultaneously. “Go to the psyche ward and ask how it was. If you, of course, interested in truth and not in gathering as much conjectures as you can.” “And you mean you don't want to tell it yourself?” The pony with a hat gave me a squinted look. “I don't.” I snapped. “What's the point? To hear from you something like: “Yeah-yeah, keep saying that lie, you villain”? If you want to hear the truth - you’ll do it yourself. I’m not interested in these fairy tales, if you want to be scared of me - do it. I’m fine with it until it doesn't bother me.” I moved with a wing phlegmatically. “But it's a bad thing when everyone is scared of you!” Pinkie objected with awe. “If everyone runs away from you - you’ll have only a few friends!” “But it would be real friends.” I responded. “Those, who can see my self despite my appearance and reputation. And those, who can't - it's their right to snuggle into basements, I’m not going to prove them anything.” Honestly - I lied a bit. I’m going to, but in such a way that no one would notice it. It's really funny when people are scared of you on one hand. But on another - it just annoys you, when all these fears bring discomforts and create problems. Like yesterday with the dentist. It was he who had gotten frightened, but it's me who has an unhealthy cheek now. Another question is that I’m also not going to acquaint with everyone fanatically and not going to stroke dogs right and left pointedly... Well, maybe, let it be as it is. They would get used to it, they’re not going anywhere. “Yeah...” Applejack rubbed her nape, but wasn't fast enough to formulate her thought: a well-groomed stallion-earthpony with a stylish hair and with a necktie appeared from bushes nearby, and he was hazily familiar to me. “Good day, Applejack!” The stallion started right on the run. “I wanted to...” What he wanted will be a mystery for the rest of our lives: when he saw me, he held his tongue and froze. “O-oh, lady Nightmare, I just... I didn't... know...” He squeezed out an unnatural smile, laying back his ears and sweeping around with his gaze simultaneously and nervously . “Filthy Rich! Hi!” The farmer-girl greeted him with a relief. That's why he was so familiar to me... Yeah, he was in the cartoon and, if I remember correctly, was doing some business with the Apples. “I... Uh... I’ll come later, Applejack. When you’re free...” He swept an anxious gaze over me and made his way back past the bushes hastily, and after a second there was a hoof beat that swiftly ran away to somewhere. “Damn it!” The orange earthpony waved with her mane resentfully. “Maybe you’ll visit me later?” She said it to me and Pinkie with such a tone that is not allowed for argument. “Nothing personal - it's just business.” I grunted and nodded. “Let's go?” I looked at the pink pony that looked somewhat gloomy. She nodded wordlessly, and we, accompanied by an Applejack's sigh, moved away from the farm. “Filthy! Wait! I... Ah, hay!” This made its way into our ears after a few seconds - a successful business mare started to pursue her very important business partner. “Filthy, come back, I’ll excuse everythi-i-ing!” I parodied and chuckled. “Prosperity of the farm is very important to Applejack, but she has never put friends below this...” Pinkie said sadly while not paying attention to my phrase. “And Nightmare... Please, don't joke like that. “To eat”, burgh... “ She shivered chilly. “Come on! A good one, I liked it.” I bared teeth. “Not a good one at all! Scary! And it’s not of the kind when it's funny when it scary, but a really-really scary! Don't do it, please...” The sheepishly cringed earthpony swept a frightened and something like a disappointed gaze. “Fine, I’ll try.” I grumbled. The Pinkie’s answer was a relieving sigh only. “Well, about Applejack... It’s obvious that she’s not impressed by me.” I continued another topic to break the hanging silence in the air. “Immediately, when an opportunity with a plausible excuse to get rid of me appeared - she used it, and that's all.” “But it's wrong!” My companion raised an upset gaze at me. “One should try to get friends, to smooth things over and to understand each other, not to avoid! But she did the same as the others - escaped!” “I don't see a tragedy.” I followed some bird with my eyes, that was sitting on a branch of a tree near the road, as she quickly flew away from me. “I hoped that such an honest pony as Applejack could have seen that you’ve changed and accept it! But she...” Pinkie sighed. “Come on.” I waved with a wing. “Maybe she's really having an urgent business after all.” “Maybe...” Pinkie mused for a few seconds, shook with her curly mane and looked at me with her normal, joyful gaze. “What’s next, Night? To Rarity or to Fluttershy?” Well, I won't go to Fluttershy without a gift, and it means going back into the town. So... “Let’s begin with Rarity.” By the way, the dress designer can give a hint about the gift - in canon they were fairly a good pair of friends. “Okay, let's go! We must go there!” Pinkie waved with her leg towards the center of the town and started to go forward bouncingly. I chuckled and followed her. I’d have been surprised if we hadn't had go there - we’re on a straight road that leads only from Ponyville to Sweet Apple Acres, there are no crossroads at all.. It was a familiar situation in Ponyville: people spread out in different ways swiftly, pressing themselves against walls and making their pace faster, trying to go around me by the biggest arc, but the most frightened tried to hide away from my eyes in side streets or to lock their houses. I enjoyed by picking strangers who were so brave that they looked at me and started to look at them narrowly, without blinking, laughing at their reactions in my mind. These reactions were often nervous or even frightened, but it's good for me that eyes of ponies, as it seems, protected by some kind of magic, that allows you to look without blinking for a few minutes, continuously pressing strangers with a heavy look. The picture is completed by Pinkie Pie, bravely prancing near me, sending smiles and greetings to people around, earning stunned and glassed gazes in answer - it looks like it’s not the locals’ cup of tea, when a pair of a joyful pink baker and a black, shady evil alicorn in retirement is together. Twilight wasn't having such a reaction yesterday. Well, it's obvious that every dog knows Pinkie, but the lavender unicorn lives here for hardly a week, and not everyone even knows that she's a student of Princess herself. Shortly after our hooves were clip-clopping across a causeway - we've made it to the central streets of the town. Yeah, there it is, a very distinctive roof: light blue, with a colored weather vane - It sticked in memory when I was examining the town in the first day - that means “Carousel” is nearby. I wasn't wrong - we came to the pompous building after a few minutes. Sign at the door says that the owner is having a day off, but she's happy to see guests. Pinkie fell a little behind to greet an acquaintance. I chose to not wait the restless pony, came closer to the door and carefully knocked for admittance. It was surprising to me that it was Spike who opened the door. So this is where he went early in the morning... Purple dragon opened the door, fixed his eyes on my legs and slowly looked up, and he just couldn't believe in this “fortune”. I smiled pleasantly, demonstrating a saw of fangs, dragon shivered and recoiled for half a step, looking away nervously. “Hi, Spike. I’m here to see Rarity.” I pictured the aim of my visit. “A-a... Uh... She's not here now.” The small one got nervous, scouring with his gaze. “I am sorry for that, Nightmare, but...” Smiling unnaturally, he tried to close the door before me. Didn't succeed - wood clattered against my leg in the notch between the door and the wall. A lovely story. “She's not here”, yeah. Draw a blank. “Well, it’s not that bad.” I said it acting too freshly, smiling widely at the dragon once again. “I’ll wait for her here. They say that her boutique always has things to look at, so it seems that I won't be bored.” I made a step forward, impeding over Spike and forcing him to step back. “R...Rarity asked me... That no one should disturb her... Uh... I mean, no one should disturb her store while she's gone...” Spike said nervously, wringing his fingers on his paws. “Spikey! Who has come there?” This voice radiates happiness from somewhere at the second floor and made the dragon pale. “As was to be proved.” I satisfyingly nodded to myself and looked at the unlucky dragon that tried to tense. “Yeah, kiddo, even the Element of Honesty lies better than you!” I graded his vain attempts and shook my head. “This guy is a lost cause.” I entered, putting the frozen from fear dragon aside with my telekinesis. “Hello! “Today is my day off, but I’d be happy... Oh...” The white unicorn froze for a moment at the stairs when she saw me. “Hello, Nightmare! What can I help you?” She quickly recovered, returning a friendly expression on her face, but it looks a way less sincere that a few second before. “Hello, Rarity!!!” Unexpectedly, a pink rocket took off behind me even before I had time to open my mouth. “I’m so glad to see you!” Curly earthpony appeared near the unicorn immediately, who had descended already and hugged her. “Pinkie!!!” She began to whine. “My mane! I've just set her!” “Oh, I’m very sorry!” The hyperactive pony sprang back from her friend, downing her ears with fault. “But I’m really-really happy to see you!” “We met yesterday, darling.” Rarity rolled her eyes, creating a joyful impression to me, like she's trying to look for defects in her mane without a mirror. “And what? I still missed you!” The “darling” still doesn't get the message. The unicorn sighed and shook her head. “Oh, fine. Wait a little Pinkie, I beg you!” She implored. “So, what brought you to “Carousel”, Nightmare?” Designer addressed to me, simulating a duty benevolence on her face. “I’m showing the town to Night and acquaint her with my best friends! It’s great, isn't?” The restless mare intervened again, not letting me to say even a word. “So you're together?” Rarity was surprised. “Yep! Visiting you!” Pinkie confirmed with enthusiasm, smiling widely. “Oh, this is bad..” The unicorn sighed, covering her mouth with a hoof. “I have almost nothing! Oh, this is awful! I have nothing to regale you with!” She started to toss about the corner. I followed her with my gaze thoughtfully, trying to understand - is she playing on public or is she serious? Honestly - there was so much panic in her voice that I couldn't just throw away the second version right away. “Rarity! Maybe I can help you?" The frozen dragon finally came to life and now looked at the elegant mare with a faithful sight. “Oh, Spikey! You could help me if you'd go to the Cakes and buy something eligible for the guests!” Rarity put a hoof to her chest and gifted the dragon a heartfelt gaze. Such a manipulator! “Of course, Rarity! You can count on me!” The knight, deluded with faith from a beautiful lady, stuck out his chest and moved his lower jaw out. I clenched my teeth to not start to laugh. “I knew I can count on you, Spike! Thank you!” The mare smiled radiantly, giving him a purse. “Make sure you will buy chocolate cakes! They’re delicious!” Pinkie gave a hint to the dragon. “And the strawberry cake with meringue as well! And don't forget cream gateaux! And grab croissants with condensed milk! And..." “Uh... I’ll be soon!” Spike fastened to get out in the street, failing to hold back against pressure. “Wait! I’m not done yet...” Pinkie broke into a run after him. The door slammed, cutting the end of the phrase off and leaving me alone with Rarity. Good freaking job, a creature of chaos... I thought that the main talking part would be on her, and my part is nodding and go along with her talk in needed places, just for others to see me and to get used... However, fortunately, the owner home didn't allow me to just stupidly look at the wall for hour upon hour. “Maybe... You’d drink some tea?" She asked forcedly. “Don't mind it.” I nodded in answer. Yeah, acquaintance without a good reason isn't my forte, I think that leaving now is my bigger wish. But I still have to get in contact with the locals somehow, and it's obvious that I should start with those who know me a little bit and not scared of. If to be precise, scared of a bit, but not like the others, who lose their minds when they see my head. “Unfortunately, I don't have anything to offer you with tea.” The unicorn sighed, inviting me to follow her with a gesture. “Except for, maybe, a little bit of cookies..." “It's fine.” I smiled with an edge of my lips, remembering some periods of my life, when tea without sugar and bread with mayonnaise were a desert. Why it was so - the memory doesn't give an answer. I sat down to the table and started to examine with interest how a skilled unicorn do her household: stand on one place, following flying to their places serving pieces with a gaze, pouring tea into a teapot with her telekinesis simultaneously, putting the kettle on... Well, I enjoyed the show and was jealous: taking so much different objects to different paths, and not even seeing some of them... Unfortunately, no topics to talk about with a hardly known pony got into my head. Are we going to drink tea wordlessly... Wait, why “no topics”? I had an idea of trying to spy out from Rarity the things that can be liked by Fluttershy and what to gift her. Do I like this new life or not - I think that Fluttershy's deed must be paid off. Meanwhile, the unicorn poured tea into bowls and sat down to the opposite side of the table. During the time we’ve spent at the kitchen, she said no word: my presence does not inspire her, and the option of kicking me out of the house is blocked by either fear or manners. “Thanks.” I accepted the bowl and a vase with half a dozen of cookies at the bottom. “By the way, I thought you can help me in one question..." “Depends on the question.” The mare answered carefully, stirring her tea with a spoon and giving me a fast glance. “How good do you know Fluttershy? What gift she could liked?” “Gift?!” Rarity was astonished, even forgetting about the spoon and stopping the stirring. “Princess Celestia told me that if she hadn't said the words, solution of my fate... Could have been different.” I shivered reflexively. “So I think I should express gratitude for her kindness.” I explained and kissed the bowl, lifting it with telekinesis. A grateful drink, even without sugar, but a little bit different than Twilight's. “M-m... To express gratitude?!” Unicorn froze, the bowl didn't even make it to her mouth. Yeah, the locals have contempt towards the Mare in the Moon if they think that she can't pay off a good deed. “Oh, sorry, Nightmare.” My interlocutor laid her ears back guiltily. It seems that the expression of my face was very tell-tale. “I didn't wait... No, don't get me wrong!...” “Just say it, Generosity: you didn't wait the presence of positive emotions inside of an old evil legend. We’ve all been there.” I summarized, chuckling gloomily. “Oh, I didn't want to insult you!” She fell into sadness completely. “If Her Majesty Princess Celestia accepted and trusted you, I’ll try to do the same, but... It's difficult: read about reckless evil spirit in a textbook, fight with it, and now... Drink tea at the same table!” Unicorn shook with her head distrustfully. “What about the gift anyways?” I tried to change the topic with elegance of a heavy tank. “Wait a second, please.” Pony stopped me with a gesture. “I just...” She rose from the table and went to a refrigerator, coming back with a bucket of ice cream half a minute later. Unicorn grabbed a small dish and ripped the wrapping, keeping a few spoons of dainty for herself and giving the rest to me. “The last, kept for an extreme case.” She explained her move. “And please - forgive my outrageous indelicacy. I should not have reacted in such a way.” She lowered her eyes to the dish, hesitated for a second and moved the first portion into her mouth. I was looking how she settles her nerves, working with her spoon fixedly, then I shook my head and looked at my own bucket before me. Let’s test the local ice cream out... A bit melted, soft, tender plombières that, in addition, chills my hurt cheek, was beyond praise. I ate the dainty faster than Rarity, even though got to business later, and in fact - she split portions in my favor! I had got back into the real world when I caught myself licking an empty bucket - fortunately, Rarity was so busy with her portion that she, as it seems, didn't even notice that. “Matchless.” I said my verdict, taking aside the empty container. Unicorn chuckled, smiling hesitatingly, but it was clear that my appraisal adulated her. “You can express regrets tastily, Rarity.” A chuckle touched my lips, when the mare ended with her portion and looked at me. Proven method helped her a lot: she looks calmer and more confident now. “This ice cream is made by pegasi in Cloudsdale. Unfortunately, it is not an easy task to get it... And somehow it always disappears faster than the next delivery comes to me!” Designer mourned, forcing a laugh by me. “But I’m happy that it helped to wear off the impression of my jaundice.” The owner of the boutique gave me a quick glance and immediately looked aside. “It helped.” I smiled for a moment with the edges of my lips. “But only with the impression. Jaundice, as I see, has not gone away. Why you - and the others as well - are afraid to look in my eyes." “Oh...” Rarity rubbed her forehead above the horn tensely. “I don't want to insult you again...” “I’m not a touchy one.” I moved with a wing phlegmatically, interrupting the unicorn. “And I want to know where this reaction comes from. “Fine.” She agreed unwillingly and silenced anxiously, picking the right words. “The thing is... Your eyes, they...” “The pupils are vertical? Glowing?” “No, that’s not the point.” She shook her head. “Your gaze is so... You know... Heavy. Empty. Apathetic and lifeless, it seems like you’re not worried about anyone and anything. Even about yourself. And your smile is a very rare occasion.” Rarity explained a bit fragmentarily, picking a stool by her hoof nervously. You're not worried about anyone and anything... She's right about something, I guess. It is true that nothing and no one holds me in this world... No, I can't understand with my mind that there’s no way back, that I should settle in here, but... It feels like I still don't believe in what happened. Sometimes it feels that everything is going on not with me - I’m just a bystander from aside. My home is not here. There’s nothing that was dear for me... “Nothing at all?” I shivered from the feeble and some kind of dejected unicorn's voice. Did I say the last phrase aloud? “At all.” I cut it off. “Everything that was is left behind, in the past.”I marked it with my voice. In my past, not yours... But it's none of your business, Marshmallow. “I’m so sorry.” This standard cliché, said by her, seemed very heartfelt for some reason. “You know... I... It wouldn't be easy to change my attitude towards you, but... I’ll try. If you need any help - call me. Maybe that would cheer you up...” Rarity lifted her suspiciously glowing eyes. Her glance moved aside, but the unicorn, with a visible force of will, returned it on me, forcing herself to look straightly forward. “Why do you need it?” I looked at her with a gloomy sight. “I know how does it feel, when no one is near, when you're a stranger for everyone and it's unclear what awaits you.” Rarity answered quietly. I fixed her with a glance full of doubt. “When I had only arrived in Ponyville after a dispute with parents, I had, like you now, nothing and no one could help me.” The designer started her story absently, diving into the memories. “A dream to earn money and settle in Canterlot, forgetting this “quiet countryside pastoral” so loved by my parents like it was a nightmare, a wallet with fifty bits, blank flank and some skills of sewing - this what I had when I had just arrived here, realizing along the escape from my home that it's not enough for Canterlot, and I had realized it just in time. Considering that it was far from a stroll even here, what it would have been in the capital... A filly with blank flank in my today’s age is a nonsense, so there wasn't plenty of talking, and finding a job without a cutie mark was a very hard thing. There was a time, when the money were out — I had to sleep in streets, on a bench in a park, and to crop grass to kill the feeling of hunger... But the worst of all was rejection by the locals, kind of disconnection between them and, as I sometimes heard, “insane” young mare, that should have found her true purpose two-three years ago.” Rarity sighed and rose from the table, going to a window and staring through it with a vacant look. Holy cow... The result of picturing Rarity, sleeping on a bench and covering herself with an old newspaper, was really bad. Never thought that this elegant lady that vividly panics because of stray hair and trying to look like an aristocrat, could have such a story. “I don't know how it could have ended without the help of madam Embroidery - she was my friend and my teacher in those years. And now, when you're in the same situation, I... I just can't leave it as it is.” She said it when I thought that there would be no continuation. “Because I know myself that you need support.” She turned to me. “Thanks, Rarity.” I said quietly, closing my eyes. Heartfelt compassion and effort of this pony to, after all, understand and accept me, pleasantly responded in my soul. Maybe because of such as she, as Pinkie, as Princess Celestia, I, eventually, will accept this world not only by the mind, but by the heart as well... The kitchen went silent. I was moving an empty bowl before my eyes thoughtlessly, mourning in the mind dully about telekinesis’ field that prevents examining the bowl by its light, and Rarity thought about her own, looking out the window... ... “Nightmare, I can't look at it anymore!” Unicorn whined after two bowls of tea in silence. “M?” I marked my interest to the problem. “I know that it does not belong to a good pony, dreaming about the high society, to say that right into the face, but...” She bit her lips. “Bu-ut?” I curved my brow. “Your mane is a nightmare!!!” She screamed, closing her mouth with a hoof in the same moment embarrassingly. “Don't remind me about it please.” A heavy sighed fell out of my chest. “This back scrub on my head will drive me mad! Tickles my ears, creeps into eyes and mouth, scrabbles when dressing armor, turns into a a mat of hair after sleep...” With a gesture of anxiety and hopelessness I put my head onto the table and closed my eyes with a foreleg. “You don't even know how I miss my magic mane with those tiny little stars...” I complained about my fate to the unicorn. The mane was a disaster for real, and it was a very hard job to not pay attention to it. A long hair is creeping to where it shouldn't be, scrabbles, clots and just drives me crazy. And I just couldn't transform this crow's nest on the head into an adequate look: I just couldn't use something with telekinesis that is out of my vision - like a comb somewhere on my nape, mirror only worsens things. And I can't even comb it with my fingers like in the good old days, and I don't even know what the reason is... In the end, I just left it how it was and moved on, trying to not pay attention to this catastrophe and hoping naively that sooner or later the canonic ethereal mane would return to me and the problem would gone by itself. Unfortunately, this outstanding event doesn't want to happen... “You definitely should visit spa!” Rarity suggested, brimming with enthusiasm. “Head-dress, mask of fur, hoofcure, massage, steam room, balmy bath, professional cleaning of teeth...” She advertised glowingly. Massage you say... Massage is a good thing, yeah. I should go for it because of massage. And yeah - professional cleaning of teeth is a very interesting idea as well. If my “saw” made of fangs shines - it will be on twenty percents cooler than now, heh-heh... “I’ll think about it.” I decided to answer indefinably for the moment. “Not today for sure. And yeah, of course it would be possible if the spa will not close only because of my approaching.” A wry chuckle crept on my face. “They better not!” Rarity shook her head martially. “If they force me to go unclean only because of you going with me - there will be no mercy!” Mare bended the brows unkindly. “You should notify them beforehand about my visit. It helped with the doctors: they were shivering, but healed me. With few exceptions.” I shrugged with my wings. I made it. Unfortunately, it’s not that emotional as with shoulders, but I can't use them. “I’ll try.” Rarity nodded. “And I still didn't answer about the gift... It was just so... Unexpectedly.” She smiled a little bit nervously. “So, what Fluttershy likes?” I changed the topic for Rarity. “Well...” She dove into thoughts. “For the starters - Fluttershy doesn't like gifts themselves: she hesitates terribly, so it's not an easy task to give her something. And even if it's possible to persuade her to take a bagatelle, she won't take something expensive by no means, especially from a little-known pony.” “Interesting...” I rubbed forehead above my horn thoughtfully. “Why is it so?” “Our Flutty is the very definition of shyness.” Designer sighed. “Honestly - I’m not sure that you would be even able to talk with her. And it’s not just because you're the Mare in the Moon, but because she hesitates to talk to strangers in general.” “We’re acquainted. Relatively.” I chuckled. “And moreover - it's she who stood up for me.” “Fluttershy couldn't do otherwise, Nightmare.” Mare shook with her head. “In that situation she would stand up for anyone. It’s not without reason that her Element is Kindness.” “After your descriptions I’m surprised that she even joined you.” It was really interesting to me about the things that drove this silent and shy pegasus against the scary Mare in the Moon through the frightening Everfree forest and gloomy ruins of an old castle. “She's not got that many friends, as you could guess.” Rarity sighed quietly once again. “This is why she appreciates them. Poor Fluttershy, even though she was shivering like an asp leaf, but went with us back then. Because friendship is stronger than her fears.” Unicorn drew the line with a determined voice. “Okay... So, a golden statue of Fluttershy, three times above her isn't suited for that... What a shame.” I stretched the words out discomposedly and chuckled when I saw the elongated face of my interlocutor. “I’m kidding.” “What a shame.” Rarity parodied me. “I was ready to ask you about the same thing for me.” She sighed falsely, and we laughed together. “So, it's clear what she doesn't like. But what she does?” I specified when the laughter gone. “Animals, books about animals, cute bagatelles for animals...” The mare started to recite. “I got it.” I stopped her after a few second, understanding that there are no points without the “animals” part. I wouldn't give her a book - there's a great chance of her having it already. Honestly - I can't give her a toy: it's unsubstantial and just not compared to what she’d done... “Listen, what about something in your store that she likes?” I addressed to the unicorn. “The things she likes either already bought by her or were granted to her by others.” Rarity shook her head. Dammit, a dead end as well. “Then I don't even know...” I rubbed my forehead perplexedly. No ideas, except for an idiotic one: bite Fluttershy - maybe she'd turn into cute Flutterbat? “Hm... You know, I'd try to find a cheap jewel about the nature. Something like a hairpin that seems like a leaf, for example.” My interlocutor advised after a few second. Good thought. “I’ll try.” I sharply nodded in answer. “An interesting hint.” “Happy to help, Nightmare.” Rarity smiled somewhat gloomily and rose from the table with a smooth move. “Thanks, Rarity.” I followed her, nodding in answer. “And for tea, unfortunately without a cake...” I just wanted to smile, but a thought came swiftly into my mind... Rarity, by her worried look at the watch, did the same. It’s almost evening, but Spike and Pinkie still didn't come back! I read my bewilderment out aloud. “I think I know what's happened.” The designer stretched out in answer. “Poor Spikey got caught and now forced to stay in “Sugarcube corner”!" She put a hoof on her forehead expressively for a few seconds and moved to the exit. I chuckled and followed her. “Are you going to Fluttershy?” Rarity asked already in the hall. “Firstly to the market, and then - yes, to Fluttershy.” I made clear. “Sorry, I can't show you the way now: I must rescue Spikey, Pinkie got a little... excited there with the baking.” Unicorn admitted a bit discomposedly. “Won't you mind if I just told you where to go?” “No, why will I?” I looked at the mare dazedly. “Don't make your chevalier wait during troubles, milady, every second is precious!” I put a hoof on my chest passionately and didn't stop myself and started to laugh. Designer joined me with her melodious laughter after a moment. “Okay, I’ll go.” I waved to the mare with my wing when the laughter ended and she instructed me about the way to the market and to the house of the yellow pegasus. “Goodbye, Rarity. It was a pleasure to meet you.” “Goodbye, Nightmare Moon. It was for me too.” She nodded in answer. I turned back and moved away, clinking with my shoes on the stone of streets. The day drags to evening, it's time to get a gift for Fluttershy and visit her until it gets dark. “And Nightmare...” I was called from behind. I turned around to the thoughtful unicorn, following me with her somewhat strange gaze. “Laugh more often, please. When you laugh - you have such a living look.” 18. Cowards Die Many Times Before Their DeathIt wasn't a long run ‘till the market, but even during that short way that didn't take a lot of time, I've discovered one thing: “Me with someone” and “me alone” in the locals’ eyes - are very different creatures. Despite the fact that I don't scare someone on purpose now, brave ones were getting round my lone figure by a lot wider arc, and the numbers of such brave ones was reduced in the same way. Result - if I didn't catch the market during a total closing, then it would be a massive pack up. Not only a big chunk of costumers decided to run, but a few sellers decided to end their shift earlier, seeing me coming. Those, who decided to stay, stopped to loudly drum up customers and barter aloud, giving me nervous gazes from time to time. It was interesting to see how swiftly this market died out and silenced, it was like a class with students, which the teacher decided to leave, and then, when she returns ten minutes later, asks gloomily about the reason, why some strange noise and yelling from the class was heard even at a different floor. Laughing at the comparison, I, accompanied by a sweepingly thickening silence, entered the market. It wasn't that big: a relatively small area, on which a dozen of concessions take place in some disorder. On the concessions were nature's gifts mainly. Carrot and other vegetables, berries, flowers, nuts... Oh, that's a big one! I paid attention to the nuts’ seller. It’s not a pegasus, it's THE pegasus, God damn it! This tall, as a tower, white winged stallion behind the concession with a mohawk of strawberry blond on the head could, if I’m right, see my eyes even without lifting his head. Balls of powerful muscles under the skin of this “Herculean horse” finish his character; a relative small, by the local standards, pair of red eyes and straightforwardly sketchy, for such a juggernaut, wings. I remembered who he is! Bulk Biceps, if I’m right, this comrade's name. It took some time to recognize him - he was too grotesque in the canon... THE pegasus paid attention to me and met my gaze, laying down his ears and shrinking into himself behind his concession, as if he was trying to be smaller and ending this impression instantly. At least he didn't run away... It could've been funny, though... I didn't find something eligible on the concessions: the only one who does trade something instead of food, was ragman or something like that. There were pots, a few irons like “coal cast-iron, a museum piece”, massive clocks with an owl and similar things: who needs it and why is a millennial-old question. However, this market is not only about concessions: there was a bunch of different stores around the market area, right before my eyes were signs of stores about books, sports, two were about garden things... But none of them were a jewelry one. It seems I have to ask locals about its whereabouts... Fortunately, even though the market is a bit of an empty place, but there was still enough of potential informers. The same ragman, sweeping lazily an indifferent gaze across me and then again starting to read his newspaper, or a pair over there, made up of a yellow pony-customer and a brown stallion with a week-old scrub on the muzzle, so busy about trading berries, that they didn't even pay attention to me. Thinking briefly, I moved to the pair: they're closer. “...The most delicious, but also the freshest one on the market! So either you give me twelve bits or you go away - that's my last word!” The stallion struck the table and smiled boldly, watching the downhearted customer with supremacy. Yea-ah, I like him already... However, when the fence lifted his gaze at me, his smile on this harry mug disappeared immediately, and he shrank his head into the shoulders, swallowing fitfully. His customer, which held tongue all the time gloomily, saw what happened to the brash trader and turned around. Here we go... “Oh!” Fluttershy gasped out frighteningly; I didn't recognize her because of the bags, covering the wings, and unusual stray, rough mane. “Mother...” She tried to step back, bumped into the table and, whining quietly, surprisingly, went limp, rolling her eyes and dropping down under my feet. I followed the falling body with a thoughtless gaze slowly. She knows me throughly - and such a reaction... That... That touched me on a sore place. “What she wanted to buy?” I asked the seller evilly, which was looking with marked fear at me and at the poor pegasus by turn. “A-a?” He twitched. “C... Cherry, my lady. H-here, t-the last one.” He nodded at a small kite with berries, about a hundred or two grams visually. “I’ll take it, for one coin.” I nailed it, taking one roundel out from my bag onto the table. “Any objections?” The fence started to frequently shake his head. “That's great.” I put the kite into my bag. “And yes, my dear... If you raise the price.” I nodded at Flutty. “For her once again - I’ll break your legs. Every single one of them.” The stallion, swallowing fitfully, stepped back, gazing me with a haunted look. “Is it clear?” I elevated my voice. “Y-yes...” The fence panted, nodding repeatedly. “I hope so. Good day to you, dear.” I turned back from the running away stallion. A breathless silence appeared on the area, the market, as it seems, was eying our conversation, and after its ending, the market lost at least another half. However, I didn't care about that at all. I put legs astride for the fixity and put magic in the horn, wrapping the pegasus with a field of telekinesis. Oh, damn it! Levitating fifty coins still was harder, but there wasn’t a task to bring them somewhere. I’ll not make it until her house. But... Why do I have the back then? I turned my head to see my own back, and felt, how my neck joints are cracking from the strain and how the horn starts to glow evilly, I put Fluttershy onto myself. The head of the passed out pegasus settled pleasantly on my neck, tickling it with its fuzz mane a bit, the legs hung down the sides. I lifted my wings to not allow Fluttershy to crawl aside, and tried to walk. More or less. Not dust, but I’ll be able to carry it for a long time. If only the side doesn't hurt again... However, the cream is still working. Fine. How Rarity said? Leave the market towards a blue house with a frontage, then go left on the crossroads... Rearranging Fluttershy on the back, I, followed with crazy gazes of a few pony that stayed, moved towards marked way at the trot. ... There’s the cottage. We’ve made it. I sighed with relief and looked back, rearranging the crawled mare back, which is still unconscious. The first thing I saw when I opened the door was a white bunny, standing pointedly with its back towards the entrance and stomping the floor disdainfully. Angel, I see. His behavior was annoying for me even in the cartoon. Honestly, even considering what I've seen in this world, I didn't except that wild animals will be... Like that. He’s clearly not as stupid as his earth analog. And this is why I hate him even more. “Bunny - it's not only the valuable fur, but also three hundred grams of dietetic meat. “ I remembered a quote. It's clear as day that he waited for Fluttershy - this is why he’s playing pretend... Meanwhile, the long-eared one understood, that something is wrong, and turned around, seeing my gentle grin. I didn't even have time to say something ambitious - this bastard was literally blown away, and so fast, that I didn't even understand where. And a question raises: why does Flutty suffer this misfit? He could have been more useful in an oven. Fine, hell with that bunny - I should find a sofa while my legs can keep me straight... I sighed and cringed at the same time - the smell in the veterinary's house was like in a zoo. I’m not saying that there’s no air to breathe, but it's still barely pleasant. By itself, the comparison between the lair of the shy pegasus and a zoo was calling for a lot of reasons: drooping boards and bird tables, some wooden boxes with holes as an enter, baskets with pillows, a wonderful net in a corner... By the way, its owner, when I've entered, hastened to go away as far as eye can see with others. If locals spiders are relatively intelligent - why don't I get one? They’re funny, and they will fit my image flawlessly... Oh, here it is - I stopped my space thoughts, finally finding a sofa, that was hidden in a far corner. I came closer and carefully put the winged pony onto it - she's still unconscious - and sighed with relief. Oh, God damn it... I almost failed, but I made it. If her house were half a kilometer further - they would have to carry me: the bruise on the side isn't fully healed and started to remind about itself with dull pain. Taking off the pegasus’ bags, I put them onto the floor and borrowed a nearly lying folded shepherd's plaid, covering her. I gazed at the peacefully sleeping pony with a long stare, moved aside and sat right onto the floor. Well... What next? Of course, I can just leave and attend her on a different occasion, but leaving Flutty in such a condition feels wrong. From the other side, this condition appeared because of me... It was a little bit sad, if to be honest. She fought the Nightmare's croup as the others, she's the only one after the fight who found courage to say something in the Mare in the Moon's defense - and, if I'd trust Celestia, her words were the deciding ones... Meetings with other keepers of the elements went... Well, not smoothly, but at least they didn't fear me that much. Were a little afraid, careful, nervous... But didn't run away in panic, let alone passing out from my presence. I think I've been anticipating something like this from Fluttershy as well, but she... “Well, I don't know about the others, but this particular one should not fear me!” I brought my thoughts to a close. I stay. I’ll try to talk with her when she's conscious. Standing up, I moved to examine the house. The first thing was the bathroom. Sweeping a sad look across my stray mane in the mirror above the sink and screwing up my face, I went to another doorway, behind which a kitchen was situated. From interesting things there were a bunch of bird-tables on the walls, the same amount of bowls for animals, and a magic furnace and a refrigerator. By the way, about the refrigerator... I took out the kite with cherries from my bag and put it onto a free shelf of a miracle, made by the local magic engineering. For my taste - it's small, but, when compared to the earth electric counterparts, there's no hum. It’s cool. I gave a short look at its content, which was quite small. Some vegetables, a bottle of milk on tap and a pair of eggs. It’s unsurprising that there were no meat or fish. Shutting down the door of all humans’ friend... And not only humans, I looked around again, spotting a newspaper, unnoticed before on a stool. Well... I sat down on a neighboring place and took print media. Haven't seen these newspaper in a while... Generally, the local example isn't that different from an old earth one - thin paper, inexpressive paints on colored photos, except that the size of the newspaper itself was a lot smaller. Front page of “Canterlot news” impressed with the title: “Princess Luna is officially shown to the public!” and a photo with happy Celestia with full fig and some lost Luna nearby. Blue alicorn looked completely undangerous and somewhere even cute, which was accompanied by a bright blue mane, like a normal one, which I have as well. If I didn't know what a scumbag is hiding behind this harmless face - I'd believe it for sure. It's okay, just wait for me to get used to the body and I’ll think about your skin as a carpet in my living room, piece of shit... Feeling a growing anger starting to burn inside, I clenched my teeth and narrowed eyes, hastening to turn over the page. It’s not the time to think about it, luckily, I have an eternity ahead, so I can take my time. She would get her deserts, she would for sure. Sooner or later. After this, as you can expect from a newspaper with such name, were news about Canterlot, not interesting in itself, but I read them just to practice language, breaching through changed orthography and terminology was still not an easy task. Some moments were not even understood by me: if I don't forget - I’ll ask someone about it... Immediately after were short news from all over Equestria and opinion pieces, amidst which I surprisingly saw one about me - about Nightmare Moon. The author, if we'd toss away his plethora of words, was suggesting a thinking about Mare in the Moon being an evil ghost and put some arguments against it. Conclusion about who Nightmare Moon really is wasn't written and was left to readers’ choice. I have a funny feeling that this opinion is written by no other than Princess Celestia - I doubt its existence with someone else at the place of the author. Except... Luna is back, maybe she could remember about Nightmare to celebrate this event. But the tone of the opinion, as it seems to me, is too friendly for those, who since childhood think of me as a demon. Well, if Tia, as she promised, started to plane my reputation - my respect to her for that. The only thing that makes me nervous is pony, being cured from the fear of me at all - it wouldn't that good... Are they going to hang around my neck and request autographs? Who needs this shit even a bit. My thoughts were interrupted by a silent moan from the neighboring room and sounds of fuss. Oh, Flutty has finally awoken. The idea of how to behave was born immediately: I talk to her through the wall until she won't come here. If I put the emphasis on being friendly, then, I guess, she won't be scared of me that much as she was. “Have you awoken, Fluttershy? How do you feel?” I asked, elevating my voice. “Oh!” I barely heard a silent exclamation. My mind immediately painted a pegasus, hiding her head under a pillow and now lying on the sofa and twitching. A smile appeared on my face by itself. “You've lost consciousness on the market. I've brought you home. Are you alright here?” “...” She said something silently and, judging by the sounds, stood up from the sofa and moved to here. I swiftly moved to the furtherest edge of the table from the doorway and used the unfolded newspaper as a cover: I don't need her passing out just entering the kitchen! I hope that my horn above the edge isn't enough for her to do so... “I've bought the cherry for you. In the refrigerator.” I continued to sit, when the steps were closing in to the doorway. “T-thanks...” Mare said it, entering the room, stopping hesitantly to figure out, who's behind the newspaper. “You're always welcome, Fluttershy. Thanks to you.” “T-to me?!” Pegasus’ voice soughed this almost shockingly. “Ehm... But... For what?” “If not you - I wouldn't be here, Kindness.” Come on, come on, make the conclusion. I've given you all the hints you needed. “But... Ehm... No one was...” The mare hesitated. “No one you say?” Demonstrating my eyes, I put down the newspaper. “O-oh!” Whining, the pegasus started to step back. “Hello, Fluttershy.” I hoped she wouldn't react in such a way... But she didn't pass out where she stood - that’s a go. “You didn't answer: how do you feel?” “F-fine.” She said it almost inaudibly and bumped against the edge of the doorway with her croup, closing eyes and awaiting the coming death. “It’s good.” I rose from the table, putting away the newspaper. “Are you sure that is not going to happen once again? Maybe you should visit a doctor after all?” I came closer to the shivering pegasus and stroke her with an edge of a wing, causing her attempt to become intangible and a short mournful squeak. It was... Cute. “N-no-no, ev-verything is f-fine.” The mare said almost inaudibly after a few seconds. It is good that she's speaking, otherwise I don't know what I would have to do with her. “Are you sure, Fluttershy?” I added a little bit of sympathy and unrest in the voice. “You've lost consciousness on the market so suddenly... What if it something serious?” “Everything is f-fine, really.” She hastened to assure me quietly. Her eyes were still closed, but Flutty has stopped to straightly shiver. “What if not?” Laughing inside, I kept pressing the pegasus. “Please, let me bring you to the hospital. I’m sure that you’ll get help there!” I turned aside, because if she opens her eyes, she will see this huge smile all across my face. Don't laugh, do not laugh! “N-no, I won't!” It was filled with shadows of panic. I, making a doomed expression, turned to the pegasus. She had, in fact, opened her eyes and now her gaze is running around the kitchen, and her cheeks, as it seems, started to blush. It seems that for her, admitting her pass out because of fear, was... scary, and not admitting - shameful. “Why... You won't?” I made a huge effort for my voice to be lost and sad. “Is there nothing to help you with at all?!” “O-oh... I... Well...” Mare hesitated, filling herself with blush slowly and throughly examining the floor beneath her feet. “I just... I... Ehm... Was scared a little... And...” She said barely audible and closed her eyes again. “Scared of me? Why?” "...” Flutty squeaked, trying to be smaller at all costs. I, snapping with a catch lock, got rid of my right fore shoe, scaring the pegasus with it once again. “Fluttershy, of all ponies, you shouldn't fear me at all.” I booped the pegasus on her nose with a smile. She squeaked cutely and opened wide her eyes from surprise. “Thank you.” I nodded thankfully to her. “...” The pony whispered, hiding behind the mane. Well, it's time to round up: there was enough for the first meeting. As the saying goes: let’s not overstay our welcome. I’ll let her to recover herself. “Fine, Fluttershy. I’m happy that you're alright. I think I’ll go.” I snapped the detached shoe back and moved towards the exit, after a few moments hearing not only my steps, but also house owner's ones. “Farewell, the Element of Kindness.” Saying goodbyes ceremoniously, I smiled to her before leaving. “Thanks again. Call me if someone thinks that he can bully you, like this idiot on the market. And yes, do not forget: cherry is in the refrigerator.” Waiting for a shy whine in answer, maybe a farewell, I turned around and moved towards a bridge across a small river. Yeah... I don't know what I had anticipated, but not his... This shyness was so not eager to contact with me, twitching, as it seemed, from every word... Rarity didn't lie to me. I have little interest in others’ thoughts about me... But when I think that Fluttershy fears me - and maybe will regret that she defended me sometime ago - I get a nasty feeling in my soul. 19. Towards The LifeAuthor's Note Princess Luna starts to actually live, not to exist as she was before the banishment and during it... Original author's note. 19. Towards The Life Princess Luna, waking up early too early, laid in the bed: she doesn't want to get up, but there was no desire to sleep either. If she had woken up ten minutes earlier, she could have seen the ascent of the Sun... Alicorn sighed shortly from how meagerly and tastelessly this thought sounded: “Ascent of the Sun”, yeah... But she didn't have heart to call it “a sunrise” or any other beautiful poetic word. Sunrises can happen now only on holidays... Yeah, and, as she remembers, she was angry at her sister for her demonstrative brag: slowly ascend, slowly descend... She had been showing off, she wanted more respect and love! Now, after many centuries, Tia doesn’t do that: pulls the Sun from the horizon swiftly and casually and goes to do other things. Why - Luna does not ask. But during this week the Princess of the Night understood, that she misses those beautiful sunrises and mind-blowing sunsets. Even though they were almost out of memory, she still feels that she needs them. She has to ask sister to rise the Sun like in the good old days, slowly and goodly... She will someday... Luna rolled over on another side. However, it seems that Tia wouldn't do that: her week-old vacation is coming to an end tomorrow, and she will dive into running the country once again. But even during these days, Celestia still had to sometime pay attention to state's affairs, if to be honest. She was upset that bureaucracy works with pain and misery without her direct intervention, and deputies, who have never been really helping her, have been making mistake after mistake because of the lack of experience of doing anything themselves, asked for leniency, and after getting a silent sigh and approving nod, she went to tackle the worst problems. And Luna, unfortunately for her, wasn't really helping sister: many laws were changed, bureaucracy has grown in size by times, and not only the document execution has changed - the documents themselves were written in a basically foreign language! It’s not a secret that Tia was helping Luna to learn new grammar with pleasure, but it’s impossible to do it just in a few days. Fortunately for Tia, she has loved to “teach her little sister to write scribbles”! Remembering this, Luna tried to scowl, but lost the battle swiftly, and a wide smile swept across the face on her lips. Oh, Tia... This is so good to be together again... But anyways, the junior Princess couldn't help with the vast majority of her sister's job for now. The only thing she can do is rising and downing the Moon, and maybe she can return to her work in the reality of dreams... But even these aren't so simple. The smile, that had settled itself on the alicorn’s face with a struggle, died out swiftly. A couple of days after the memorable evening, when Luna refused to try to rise the Moon because of the feeling that her magic isn't fine, Tia, of course, brought her to a medical examination, and the output was a sentence: “Magic insufficiency”. The “magic insufficiency” term should be understood as “there’s something wrong with your magic, we don't know what, but it must go away after some time.” Returning from the Moon onto Equus, a lot lesser-filled with magic place, where everything went wrong, brought a huge arrangement of different problems with magic. The most noticeable one was that every spell now consumes more energy. It didn't affect a lot something easy, that requires just a sneeze, but complex and energy-consuming ones were threw out the window - the Princess of the Night just has no energy to do so. Even control and accuracy got a hit, and that’s only worsened the situation with complex spells, and, for the last, it's accompanied by a weakened sensitivity. Luna touched her horn with a hoof carefully - nothing new. Usually sensible and delicate organ feels like a complete bone. Not only it was unpleasant by itself, but it also affects magic sense of touch! It was horribly awkward to almost not feel the holding items by telekinesis, and what's more - delicate operations, like writing, were a real challenge and closely moved Princess to the end of her nerves. And these were only the main ones! Others, more smaller problems, aren't countable! In the end, she could run the Moon somehow, but it's only if you think that an indecisive move, after which you will get a hellish headache, can be named “running the Moon”. The Princess of the Night haven't tried to enter the reality of dreams, but would after a few days. This process was rather complicated, but Luna calculated, that a prepared ritual, with the help of her sister, will unburden her task and she’ll be able to reach the needed result. Generally, Tia still holds control over the Moon, and the only thing that the castaway Night Princess can do is settling herself in this modern world, working out her naughty magic, drinking some very expensive potions, that would help her to recover faster, and wait, until everything would be fine at last. For now, Luna can execute only public relations - to attend gatherings, meetings, other conferences... But this possibility was the most undesirable for her: Princess was scared. Scared, that everyone would compare her with the sister, giving hints that Tia is better and more important shrewdly and covertly; scared, that no one would accept her, toss out... Moreover, many fear her very noticeably, and a few ponies, who didn't even read newspapers, started to run in panic from “the Mare in the Moon”, almost breaking Luna's soul into pouring rain of tears. However, the amount of those, who treated her calmly, was still more... And amidst those was, unfortunately, Prince Blueblood. Brushing off this loyal and true enthusiast of the ancient history, trying to get some information about it from time to time, was getting harder and harder. Hints do not exist for him, and a direct refusal meant for him that he has to ask this question later only. But the most shocking for Princess was his wholehearted and sincere admiration of her... Absolutely unearned admiration, created by “historical” studies, that have a very little in common with reality. It wouldn't have been such a problem for Luna, if she had returned alone, what her sister had been anticipating, creating this myth. But now they have Nightmare as well, in which a general pony sees a figure of a real monster and which was stopped by the Princess of the Night at a heavy cost. But truly - she's the monster here. Betrayed her sister, left Nightmare Moon for hundreds of years of suffering... Luna shivered from the surprise, when her heavy thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door. “C-come in.” The Princess of the Night allowed, wiping coming tears and putting on the mask of calmness and strictness. The entered servants bowed to a confident and organized diarch. ... Luna met her sister in the dining room, and it seems, that she didn't even touch the food, absorbed in reading some scroll. “Hello, Luna! How was your night?” The Princess of the Sun, putting the scroll aside, smiled and swung with her wings welcomingly, waving with her leg invitingly to the chair opposite her. “Good day to you, Your Majesty.” The Night Princess bowed reflexively. “Oh... I mean, hello, sister. The night was good...” Luna hesitated. “Lu!” Celestia sighed heavily. “Why don't you get used already? It has been a week already, but you still call me Queen from time to time and make bows!” “Sorry.” The blue alicorn laid back ears shyly. “I just thought about the etiquette and... It's better if you say what scroll was so interesting to read? And why you haven't touched the food yet?” Luna changed the topic with the gracefulness of a hydra. “I’m waiting until everyone is at the table.” Tia said as a matter of course. “You and... Let it be a surprise.” She smiled at her sister. “Okay, I’ll wait.” The junior Princess nodded, taking a sit opposite to the senior one. She paid attention, that there were none of mains: there were only snacks, which should be brought beforehand. “What about the scroll?” “A letter from my student, Twilight Sparkle.” The Princess of the Sun smiled warmly. “Shares with me about what happened in Ponyville, about her friends. And about Nightmare as well.” Tia’s smile faded away a bit. “And how it's going?” Luna asked with a static tone, examining the scroll on the table with some strange gaze. Tia sighed. She couldn't give much of a hope to her sister, and the Twilight's letter does not show favored prognosis. It doesn't mean that everything is bad: by the student's words and her own experience - it's not that bad: Nightmare shows herself as capable of kindness and friendship, doesn't show evil plans about Equestria... But she was a rather difficult and unsociable person at the same time, which would barely cooperate with Luna, even if she would try to expiate her guilt. Nightmare Moon make fun of death and doesn't see anything scary in that, and she also likes the fact that ponies are scared of her! Princess shared the Twilight's shock and perplexity about this. It just doesn't make sense... What is good about someone else’s fear? How, how can you think that it's normal?! And also Nightmare was no stranger to use force as a solution. She doesn't think that it’s intolerable to use rather harsh threats towards others - well, in this particular case, she's partially excused because of the circumstances: the trader behaved himself in the most immodest and tactless way towards Fluttershy... At the background of the fight with Rainbow Dash, which was now in the hospital with severe injuries, the big picture seems very unsettling. But it’s not the best way to blame the Mare in the Moon for everything that happened... Respond immediately with force on a threat - a thousand years ago, in those harsh times, even Celestia could do the same, if not worse... Tia shook her head to her thoughts. And still: maybe Nightmare’s aggression was logical, taking into account the times in Equestria she remembers, but it's still aggression. From the other side, Rainbow attacked first.... However, the important thing was, in the first place, that the Mare in the Moon didn't even think that she, maybe, had done something wrong! “Are you sure you want to know?” The Princess of the Sun gazed at her sister, resurfacing from her thoughts,. “I don't want you, taking all the blame for what had happened with Nightmare.” “Had happened”, yeah... Entirely by accident and by itself!” Luna chuckled ruefully. “You couldn't know...” “I could!” The Princess of the Night rose up sharply. “And I should have! But instead, I had seen only what I was afraid of - and didn't see any other things! Anyways, it’s a lost cause... There's nothing I can do.” Slouching, Luna waved aside tiredly. Nothing you can do... She wanted to insist, but... Nightmare, mistrustful, suspicious and accustomed to the methods of old times will barely excuse her sister for sure, at least in the near future. Honestly, Celestia couldn't think of something, that Luna has to do, if she wants the black alicorn to just listen to her words. “Don't give up too early, Luna.” Tia tried to cheer her up anyway. “Nightmare is not the most friendly pony, but she can be kind. And I’m sure, that sooner or later, friendship will award her soul with harmony, will teach her how to show kindness and trust others more. If she's not ready to forgive you today, she'll probably be ready tomorrow. So don’t give up, Lu. Everything is going to be okay.” Luna tried to feign a smile in answer, but her doubts and skepticism towards Celestia’s word were as clear as day. “Everything will be fine.” The Princess of the Sun said firmly, trying to spread this firmness on sister's mind. The silence in the air was quickly interrupted by an opening door and clatter of hooves on the floor. Luna, sitting with her back to the door, turned around to see the incomer and froze in an unpleasant pose, not being able to say even a word. A mare entered the dining room. With long sharp horn... And with wings lifted a bit, as it should be on official meetings. Alicorn. Not tall, clearly a young pony with pleasant pink fur and multicolored mane, was moving towards the table at a leisurely pace. “Good day, Princess Luna.” She bowed hesitantly. “Good day, auntie.” Now she addressed to Tia, going without a bow and with a clearly more relaxed tone. The Princess of the Night, staying in a light bewilderment, nodded in answer slowly. “Sister, I’m introducing to you Princess Mi Amore Cadenza, my adopted niece...” The incomer was introduced by Celestia, which was clearly getting pleasure from the effect of it. “You can name me Cadence for short.” Alicorn edged in shyly. “... Which don't respect the etiquette at all.” Tia sighed falsely, but smiled once again. “Auntie has been telling me about you. Nice to meet you personally.” The pink alicorn smiled with the edges of her lips at Luna. “Likewise.” The Princess of the Night, which overcame the surprise, nodded shortly. “Tell me!” She turned to the white alicorn eagerly . “You didn't say that you had found more than one dynasty!” “I had found only one. Cadence is the found alicorn, Luna. She was born as a pegasus and earned her horn, executing her destiny with her talent: love.” “A...” The junior Princess tilted and sat back, almost standing up. “But... But... It's impossible! It’s us who declined the theory that your special talent can be a key to something more! It's us who checked it together - and nothing proved that! Discord, this is not even a theory - just a fugacious guess! How, Tia?! How?!” The blue alicorn flew off from her place again and impended over the Princess of love, throughly examining the blue heart on her hip. Cadence haven't been awaiting such a reaction and tried to step back carefully, casting nervous glances at Celestia and Luna simultaneously. “How does it work?” “Honestly - this is still a mystery for me as it is for you.” Tia shook her head. “As for how it happened... Cadence, will you?” The Princess of the Sun looked at the niece questioningly. “Well... I just helped two ponies to find love - that’s all.” The pink alicorn became confused. “I don't understand what is so special about it...” “I met Cadence at the opening of a new children's hospital.” Celestia started her story, understanding that her niece, as it seems, won't tell more. “She stood in the crowd, in the first ranks, a pink pegasus-teenager. I swept a magic gaze over the gathered ponies and... Was shocked what I had seen. Something unbelievable was happening with Cadence's energy. I’ve never seen something similar. A real extravaganza of magic... I invited her on an audience to solve everything... But she didn't come!” The Princess of the Sun eyed the pink alicorn from head to foot with a smirk. “I thought it was some kind of a joke.” Cadence laid back her ears embarrassedly. “Some orphan from an orphanage, even though with a big name, was invited by Princess Celestia herself?” “I will never forget your stare, when “Princess Celestia herself” brought a second invitation to you, but this time - personally.” Tia smiled lively. “I almost burned with shame! And nearly lost my speech.” The Princess of love blushed because of a short giggle by the white alicorn. Luna couldn't hold a smile as well. “In the castle, I told Cadence the reason of the invitation and asked her permission to tackle this thing. At the first glance, everything that was going on with her, wasn't dangerous, but... It was still an unknown magic process, even though frozen in some balance. I didn't want this - didn't matter what it was - to hurt her.” “I understand only a bit from the Princess’ explanation, but... After I got my cutie mark, when I helped a quarreled couple to again love each other and not to ruin their family, I was truly feeling a little bit... Strange.” Cadence did an undefinable gesture. “At first I thought, that everypony has the same thing when gets their talent, but the medpony, to which I came to get an explanation, said, that it’s not a usual thing.” Luna, leaning forward, sucked in every sister's and the young alicorn's word of their collective story. “Yes, it’s not a usual thing.” Tia nodded. “Getting a permission, I examined Cadence’s energetics, and after I touched the core with my magic, I accidentally destabilized... this. It was clear afterwards, that my gentle touch launched a frozen up to that time process, but then... Cadence's magic started to fade enormously - and a pegasus doesn't have a lot of it. I rushed to support it with mine, I just didn't know what to do. I... I lost myself: I have never encountered something like that in my life. Didn't even find a reference about that!” “She wasn't a unicorn, sister. How could you transfer your magic to her then?” Luna raised her eyebrow. “It’s possible only when magic conductors are engaged, if I remember correctly... And this is the only possible solution, and, what’s more, requires the best of one's accuracy and carefulness to not harm someone! Or...” “I worked out the kinks in the “Star Swirl's transformer.” Tia smiled in answer pleasantly. “With the help of this spell, if you remember, you can share energy with any other pony, almost not risking to harm because of the someone else's organism rejection.” “Its losses were 95 - 98 percent...” Luna mumbled. “Can you show the scheme?” “Of course, but not now.” The Princess of the Sun nodded. “Generally, as it turned out, except magic, I hadn't had to do something. A bright spark happened in some moment, and the loss of energy stopped. Cadence the pegasus was laying before me... With a long creep horn at her forehead.” “You shouldn't have risked on my account, Princess Celestia.” The pink alicorn shook head. “You were exhausted...” “Nothing serious.” Tia waved thoughtlessly in an exaggerated way, looking at the young Princess with a hard look at the same time. “After this “nothing serious” we had a sunny day...” “Cadence!” “...Which lasted more than a week, while auntie had been recovering after the magical exhaustion.” The pink alicorn grassed up Celestia. knitting brows together harshly in answer. “Siste-er...” Luna narrowed eyes threateningly, eying Celestia with a very dissatisfied look. “I wouldn't have left Cadence to die anyways.” She cut it off. “Especially when you're the one, who started this process, which could result in this.” “What if you had got something worse than exhaustion? What could Equestria had suffered then?” Luna was filled with indignation. The Princess of love nodded in approve, sweeping a glance over Celestia harshly as well. “Lost myself” doesn't mean “lost my head”.” Tia insisted calmly. “There wasn't a serious threat to me. And the week on a medical leave was worth it: Equestria got a new Princess, Cadence - horn and a new family, and I - a cute niece.” Tia smiled disarmingly. “Thank you for everything.” “Cute niece” blushed again. “I hope there truly was no risk... But I still feel nervous, while remembering it.” “Don't worry.” The Princess of the Sun calmed her. “And yes, when you're both here, I wanted to offer something. Luna, as I said before, my vacation is going to be over tomorrow, so I’ll have to run the state's affairs again, and I won't be able to spend as much time with you as I should...” Tia sighed shortly. “So I offered Cadence to tag along. Sister, how do you think about her, helping you to get settled in the modern world? And you, my niece - would you help Luna?” “Of course, auntie! I’ll be happy to help.” The pink alicorn agreed without thinking and casted an anticipating gaze at the thinking Princess of the Night. “I... I understand, but...” She hesitated. “It's not a farewell, Luna.” Tia smiled to sister softly. “You can visit me in any time - I can take a break from the duty for half an hour-hour... And even more, if you would like to. I’ll never put you below my job again, sister.” ... “Princess Cadence...” Luna said slowly as if tasting words, when she and Tia were going back from the breakfast. “Who is she? Is she from a high blood? Is she educated enough to bear her crown?” “Cadence's history is rather tragic... “Ill-fate” will be the term.” Celestia sighed. “Maternal grandmother was no more even before her birth, and when Cadence wasn't even a year old - her grandfather was seriously sick and died. Her mother, as far as I know, was madly in love with father and took this loss very heavily. She urged him to go to the funerals, but it was dangerous to take such a small filly in this trip. So they left little Cadence at the paternal grandparents’ shoulders, left without her... And didn't make it back - the airship, which they flew, by some reason, lost its way and crushed against a mountain. Cadence's parents slept in the forward cabins - they had no chance...” “They’re pegasi!” Luna scowled. “Why they flew this unreliable... How it was?” “Mixed-race marriage.” The Princess of the Sun explained. “Mother-pegasus and father-unicorn.” “Aristocrats?” “Ancestry doesn't matter...” Tia tried to wave away, but saw Luna's gaze and answered: “Only father. “In times gone by a very powerful and noble Canterlot dynasty, but sick and rather impoverished by then - they were living from hand to mouth because of old debts." “And now Cadence is a Princess... I struggle to understand.” Luna rubbed her forehead. “Don't judge the modern ponies by their dynasty’s highness, sister. Aristocracy now is just a tradition. A very enduring and very troublesome tradition...” Celestia darkened. The Princess of the Night casted a questioning gaze at her. “All these dynasties is a relic of history.” She explained with a sigh. “The relic of the unicorn's kingdom from the times, when Equestria wasn't united. Now this formal inequality only bothers and divisive society, but it's settled so tight, that I can't do anything with it without insults, problems and casualties. “And now we stand - if I stay out - it's bad, if I step in - it’s even worse.” Tia waved with her leg frustratingly. “The good thing is that the traditional aristocracy exists almost only in the capital - in other cities it has been limited to a minimum or died out completely, with business-ponies taking their place, which formally don't have special privileges - just very rich. And you know what’s funny?” Celestia chuckled. “What?” “Both like to brag with their ancestry, but upside down! If an aristocrat would brag with how old and noble his dynasty is, business-pony would brag with the fact that his grandfather was an apprentice of a smith in a remote village, but now he's the head of a metallurgical combine. But yeah, let's go back to Cadence, shall we?” Luna nodded in agreement. “The parental grandfather and grandmother, which now had an infant, treated her in a rather cold way. Firstly, they were against the marriage of their unicorn-son with a pegasus since the get-go, especially with one that came to the capital from afar, so they weren't happy about a flying granddaughter, and secondly, as I said earlier, they had been living a hand-to-mouth existence. No, they weren't that poor, but if they wanted to raise and support this little filly - they had to either economize on everything or run into new debts...So when the question of sending her to the orphanage sprung up - it wasn't a choice, they didn't even formalize child custody. However, even if they had agreed - Cadence still would have been in an orphanage: they died simply after half a year in a fire, which broke out during some important meeting in a restaurant... This is how this ill-fated pegasus, which didn't even have a name, found herself in an orphanage in Canterlot.” “How did it come that she didn't have a name? She wasn't half a month old, was she?” The blue alicorn boiled over. “Seven months. And why they didn't name her... There’s no such details in the official documents.” Tia made a helpless gesture with wings. “And there’s no one I can ask about it. Maybe the papers were lost, maybe the parents couldn't make a choice, argued about it...” Luna sniffed with anger. “Death of her relatives didn't cause a lot of sorrow in the little mare's soul: she barely remembered her parents.” The Princess of the Sun continued her story. “She got accustomed in the orphanage. One of the nursery, excited in the Crystal Empire and its history, named the orphaned mare after the Crystal's Empire empress, that had been running the country before infamous Sombra - Mi Amore Cadenza. As I was told there, Cadence's growing was accompanied by kindness, with will to always help everyone, to tackle any fight and any quarrel. She called the orphanage her home - fortunately, the nurseries did everything to keep this. Cadence got her cutie mark when she was thirteen, when making peace between horribly quarreled husband and wife, returning their love to themselves - and, as a bonus, brought her prominence. And after about a year, Cadence was caught by my eye. And do you know what's the most unbelievable in all of this?” “Unbelievable except that a mare-teenager became an alicorn and a Princess?” Luna raised her brow ironically. “Strangely enough - yes.” Celestia smiled. “Ponies, which were reconciled by her, became parents of her "special pony” and my personal student, which now is the Element of Magic.” The Princess of the Night, stopping near a window and looking out of it with a long stare, rubbed her forehead perplexedly. ... The day comes to an end. Celestia downed the Sun, raised the Moon and now was talking with her sister, making their with Luna way to the dinner. “...A week is the maximum. It does not belong to my royal sister to survive in guest chambers!” Tia smiled. “It does not.” Luna chuckled shortly. “My apartments in the old times were smaller than your “guest chambers”! Not to mention this extravagance, that your builders made in my wing of the castle, and which humbly named by you as “my room”! “Pretty much usual chambers, worthy of my sister - nothing more...” The Princess of the Sun smiled innocently. “Usual”...” Luna hummed. “Sister, how much nulls the cost sheet has?” “Doesn't matter how much - they’re all mine.” Celestia became serious. “If there’s no one to waste them on, you can collect a very-very-very lot for a thousand years, even if you don't do that deliberately. “So these are my own money, until the last coin. It’s my gift to you, Lu.” “But still - why... This much?” Making an indescribable gesture, Luna looked up at the Princess of the Sun. “To make you happy, of course.” Tia hugged her sister with a wing. “I want to see a smile on your face more frequently. Also to hasten the appearance of the feeling that you've come back home - where you're being loved and cherished.” “Thank you...” Luna became confused a bit. “But...” The junior Princess couldn't end her sentence: a pegasus in golden armor appeared from a turning. He saw the corulers, sharply stopped his trajectory of flight and almost fell before the alicorns. “Y-your Highness!” The breathless stallion saluted to Celestia. “There! On the landing zone!” The Princess of the Sun scowled, nodding to the pegasus towards the way he flew in. He turned around and started to go back, Tia fell in nearby, and nervous Luna followed them. “What's happened?” “Some creepy creatures appeared, look like ponies, with armor and arms!” The stallion started to tell the story emotionally. “They dared to demand an audience with you in a commanding tone, Your Highness! Lieutenant Shining Armor ordered me to find you and report, while he's alarming the garrison.” “Creatures? Like us?” Princess surprised. “Yes, Your Highness! Like ponies, but their wings are weird and teeth like manticore's! And their eyes...” The guard shivered. “I've never heard about such a horror! Also, Lieutenant called them strangely: firsals or fristals...” “Thestrals?!” Luna asked, hiding her excitement badly, catching her sister and the pegasus up in a few swift steps. He nervously looked at the Night Princess, lost his pace and shifted a haunted glance at Celestia, clearly not understanding what to do - ponies haven't got used to two ruling Princesses. “How longeth shall thee beest silent, guardeth?!” Answ'r us immediately!” The Princess of the Night elevated her voice, scowling dreadfully. “E-e... Yes, thisfals, Your... E-e... Your Highness!” Gathering himself up, the young guardian answered. “Sister, what did your Lieutenant do? Why is he alarming the garrison?” Luna turned her head to the senior Princess sharply. “We’ll find out soon.” She looked at the sister in answer calmingly. “Go back to your comrades, guardian.” She nodded to the pegasus. He, bowing shortly, took off and ran forward. “If this guard didn't exaggerate.” Tia continued, being alone with Luna. “Then I already know what has happened there. As I told you earlier, thestrals treat me... Without passion. If their commander really demanded my presence, then it's not a surprise, that Shining got angry and wants to give them a lesson.” “Like in the old times, huh?” Luna chuckled in answer sadly. “The night and day guards can’t stand each other.” “We don't need this damn “like in the old times”!” The Princess of the Sun reacted a bit sharply. “My hopes are high on this incident being the last of its kind.” Talking on elevated tones, echoing through spacious hallways, the Princesses heard long before they themselves were on the battlefield. Celestia hastened her pace. Near the gates that lead to the landing area, a total welter prevailed: a dozen of thestrals, easily recognized by the dark blue armor, were surrounded and left without breakaways by at least three dozens of guards. However, it didn't bother the bat-winged warriors at all: they stood firmly, and their commander dared to scream at the Shining Armor’s Lieutenants and at a bright red earthpony, that came to rescue, which was easily recognized as Rage Fire by the Princess of the Day. “... Shall the rage of the Sun incinerate you if you don't do it! Get out of the way, dough faced! We will find Queen Celestia ourselves if she doesn't want to come here and pay for her words!” “Princess Celestia!” Rage yelled at the thestrals’ commander wrathfully - at a bright blue mare with almost black mane and rare for their race bright green eyes. She just eyed the guard with a scornful gaze. “And watch your tongue speaking about Her Highness!” Shining added with authority. “Or what?” Thestral narrowed her eyes unkindly. “You will inform on us to your heads? Ah, yes, it already sleeps: it's dark, late...” She chuckled. “Maybe you’ll just cry?” “What a...” The red earthpony started to gasp from indignation. “I’ll just...” “WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?” Celestia’s Canterlot Voice roared, stomping the starting conflict in a moment. Guards, hesitating for a few seconds, hastily organized a life corridor for the Princess. Thestrals started to hiss, laying back their sensitive ears to head and looking at Tia with evilly gazes. Snowy alicorn bit a lip for a moment - didn't think about that... “Queen Celestia.” Thestrals’ commander acknowledged with badly hidden distaste in the voice, without even a polite nod. “Despite your infamy, we didn't except such a rottenness even from you. You know how we treat that, and you wrote a letter to our elders with such a hateful l!..” Thestral choked with words, looking somewhere to the right from the Princess of the Sun with far-eyes. “What lie?” Princess Luna, which just came up, asked her, stepping up from the back of her sister and now staying side by side with her. “A-a... Princess... Luna?” The bat-winged mare cheeped, losing all her warring spirit in a moment. Helmet, which she held on the crook of her left leg, fell onto the ground with a clank. After making a few shy steps towards a little bit surprised Princess of the Night, the thestral fell on her knees like a victim. After a second, the rest did the same. Celestia respectfully made a few steps backwards, leaving her sister in front. A silence hung on for a few long seconds: surprised Luna looked at this with all her eyes, trying to swallow lump in the throat. “S... Stand up...” The Princess of the Night said with a twitched voice. “Great Princess Luna! Is it... Is it really you?.." The night pony's eyes were shining from tears, she hardly stood up on wobbly legs. “We... We couldn't have even hoped.... We didn't trust it...” Mare’s voice flinched. “I let them down, abandoned them to my sister’s and other ponies’ fury... But they still love me...” Luna thought, helplessly looking at the crying from happiness thestral. After a few long seconds, she wiped her tears, coming closer to the Princess of the Night with awe, and now fell on her knees slowly and ceremonially. The others followed suit, swiftly lining up behind their commander’s back. “Empress! I, Dark Whisper, from the Star Cover wing, together with my warriors, vow to serve you in everything that your supreme will wants to impose. And let the Night be the witness of our vow!” Luna looked at the kneeing warriors of the night in prostration, having no clue what to do and how to react. “Our lifes are in your hooves, Empress.” Thestrals’ leaders stood up, dashing away her tears. “Rule. Your word is law.” The junior Princess looked back at sister helplessly. Celestia stood afield humbly, nodded cheerfully, giving Luna an understanding, that it's only her choice how to act further. The blue alicorn bit a lip for a moment and turned to Dark Whisper awaiting her orders wholeheartedly. Princess had no idea where and how to go - all the thoughts were washed out from head, leaving only incomprehension and hesitancy. She's been barely remembering about the night ponies during this time. She left them to be struck by a furious Queen. And they waited and loved her. Were ready to execute any order, any caprice... “Am I worthy of it?” Luna froze hesitantly, thinking nervously what to do. “Lieutenant Armor, Lieutenant Fire, you and your ponies are dismissed. Leave us.” Celestia ordered to her guard quietly, seemingly wanting to support her sister. It really got calmer without a dozen of stares. “Empress, may I speak?” Whisper broke the prolonged silence, following the leaving from the landing zone guards with a gaze “Yes?” Luna shuddered, thankful to the thestral for breaking this sticky shyness by her mere words. “Allow me to send runners to the elders, to spread the good word about your return?” “Fine.” Princess answered a little bit hesitatingly. The night pony nodded and went back to her warriors, and four of them took off soon after, vaporizing in the darkness soundlessly, caring on their wings the news: their Princess is really back home. While Whisper was giving orders, Celestia came closer to Luna. “You're nervous, Lu.” “I...” The Princess of the Night looked under her feet. “I let them down and... They still believe me... I’m not sure that...” “You have right to lead them now?” Tia ended for the hesitated sister. She nodded silently. Celestia raised a sad look at the group of night ponies. “Everyone makes mistakes, sister. Remember about yours, but not for them to drag you into the bottom, but to not repeat them again. You’ll manage it. Don't fear.” The senior Princess smiled and went aside, being followed by the returned thestral with a suspicious look. “You're tired after the journey, aren't you?” Cheered Luna addressed to Dark Whisper. And immediately swore at herself in mind: she had to ask it before the sending of the runners... “We don't need a serious rest, Empress!” She nodded with head. “We took wings not more than an hour and a half ago. All we need now is a little bit of food.” “Sister.” Luna turned around. “Is there any fish we can find in storages of the castle?” “No.” Celestia shook her head, cringing inside. Honestly, specific diet of thestrals, griffins and some other species, wasn't as exciting for her as for them, even though Princess managed to get rid of the opened disfavor to it. But how Luna still manages to treat killing of living creatures and eating their dead bodies so plainly - the Princess of the Sun doesn't understand even now. “Why?” Sister was surprised. “Wasn't it you, who kept a little supply for the griffons’ embassy?” “There's no griffons’ embassy in Equestria right now.” Celestia shook her head. “After the death of their last king around two hundred years ago and loss of some ancient artifact of their people, griffons lost their country. Now they live almost as separate tribes... There’s just no one there to send us ambassadors.” “I got it...” Luna prolonged. “Yfel ðafian nâteðæshwôn indrîfan... I mean, where we can find food?” Having the needle, she started to speak in an ancient dialect reflexively. “Empress, may I speak?” Thestral drew attention to herself. “I heed to you, Dark Whisper.” The Princess of the Night turned to her. “Thank you for your worry about us, Empress, but don't worry about that so much - we can get along with something more usual. Vegetables, fruits, mushrooms, pastry... Just without grass, please.” “Fine.” Alicorn nodded and turned to Tia. “I’ll ask to lay dinner in the small guest dining room.” The Princess of the Sun nodded even before Luna opened her mouth. “But first off...” Celestia came closer, falling on with the junior sister. “I’m happy to see, that even after all the past centuries, my sister has ponies, which love and cherish her.” The snowy alicorn addressed to the unfriendly-looking thestrals. “ I hope that following the recreation of the Night Guard, you will be the same tower of strength and defense, as you were in the old times. I also hope, that this will be the first step towards reunification of your people with other ponies. I’m happy to welcome you in the castle of Canterlot, children of the night.” Dark Whisper chuckled sceptically. Luna sighed quietly. 20. On The Wing!I, setting the bags straight for the last time, nodded to myself and opened the door, leaving the library. Morning cheers me with chirping of some birds, pleasant chill, and on the top of that - I’m going on my first training about flying! Yesterday, when visiting traumatologist, I got his approval on exercises - including flying - and immediately, as soon as I left the hospital, I started to learn it. I swiftly found some literature in the library, breaching through new grammar and asking Twilight about different moments from time to time, read methodology, read about set of exercises and rushed on the known furthest shore of the lake to try it! As the practice showed, it was a right choice to go to the lake. Falling from a high altitude is a very dangerous business, of course, but I didn't try it. But when falling from a small altitude - water is far more preferable than ground. And I fell often, yeah... Strangely enough - some body’s reflexes are still intact, even after so much time, but for a normal flight - it's not enough, I had to develop my own. And I did as I could. I realized quickly, that falling flat wise into the water from 3-ish meters is not what I'd call fun. Also, I learned that mare's udder is a very sensitive place... So I tried to fall with head down - not belly: it wasn't that painful with the head. After getting really exhausted on that training, I somehow managed to crawl to the library, only to be dragged out by Rarity half an hour later! Honestly, I almost sent her to hell, but remembered just in time, that I promised to accompany her in spa that evening. I had to peel myself off the wall, acting like everything is fine, tailing along the unicorn, glowing from enthusiasm, calming myself at the same time with the fact that, if I remember correctly, there’s a steam bath inside of the business... The earthpony sisters, working there - Lotus and Aloe - were bearing my presence with great difficulty at the start. They clearly didn't want to upset Rarity and lose business’ prestige, but feared me almost with panic - I had to reluctantly decline the offer to professionally clean my teeth to not make everything worse. But gradually, with my zingers and wholehearted support of my beautiful companion, spa-ponies relaxed a bit, calmed down and finally hit it out of the park, making my and unicorn's leisure excellent. At the start, I thought to go through only the steam bath, massage and comb out, but Rarity quickly forced me on a real spa-marathon with all these masks, aromatherapy baths and other extravagances. Honestly, I didn't resist much: I had neither energy, nor will - I just wanted to just fall already. In the result, I didn't regret my acquiescence: I don't care if these aromatic baths are nonsense, but I relaxed perfectly, leaving the business with the feeling of being born again. Muscles, buzzing from strain, finally rested with pleasant, fur glossed, hooves shined, feathers laid one to another, mane and tail were dressed in primitive, but pretty hairstyle. Generally, I thanked Rarity, which was glowing with happiness, wholeheartedly and sincerely. However, we almost quarreled because of “who pays?”... Generosity, with all her hooves, refused stubbornly and demanded categorically, that I must count this as a gift. I whistled from the price slightly - not a surprise: almost a complete list of services! - but I still demanded to take money in response and to not argue with me: my moral integrity couldn't allow me to take such big gifts from a barely know pony. In the end, to really not hurt Rarity, I had to step back, promising to her, that I will return the money when I suddenly find spare cash. What a stubborn mare. Meanwhile, I didn't even notice how I came. Tossing the already usual bags onto the grass and setting straight the ponytail on my head, I looked at the smooth surface of the lake with a long stare. Inha-ale - Exha-ale. Let’s go. I unfolded the wings and started the exercise. Executing it only for a third time, but it's not a difficult one, and Tia did her best on that memorable walk to make it unforgettable for a long time... But now, making moves almost reflexively, I could let my thoughts to easily slide from topic to topic without the distraction of remembering the right moves. Generally, last three days, except for yesterday, were fairly quiet and not rich for events. Except for the training and spa, I spent them in the library almost without leaving, training my skills of reading and writing - got a firm hate towards quills - and learned different things about the world around and myself. I must say that I learned a lot about myself. As it turned out, I thought on a savage mix of Equestrian and English languages. Moreover, it felt so natural, that I paid attention to that only when started to write and saw, that I write something wrong reflexively. The good thing was that no one was nearby and no one was interested in my scribbles. I burned the paper, just to be on the safe side, but I kept close the fact that I remember my native tongue. And if I want to make notes not for everyone's eyes - I’ll make them in a completely foreign language. Despite the fact that it’s now easier to read for me, I, as it turned out, have a very bad handwriting. No, I knew all the letters and almost all the words, but I built them by the rules of the ancient Equestrian grammar! Moreover, I had no reflex in writing at all! And writing with telekinesis, as it turned out, demanded a great skill: pull and pressing were poorly felt. In the result, I traced out letters slowly and sadly, cracking quills and making blots regularly. I’ll have the most exciting tasks in the near future - tackling the modern language and improving the handwriting. Good news didn't end on that: ponies use the duodecimal system! It was born in times out of memory, when races of ponies started to unify under one flag. The duodecimal system was a compromise between the quaternary numeral system of earthponies and unicorns, and the senary system of pegasi. The new system turned out to be better when counting big amounts, so it replaced the old ones just in one generation. However, on the practice, it wasn't that bad as the earth counterpart - the hexadecimal system, in which a mix of Arabic numbers and Latin letters were put in because of absence of letters and terminology, creating a mayhem. The long-ago created system of ponies had both symbols and names, so, on practice, it wasn't that worse than the good old decimal on Earth. Of course that I paid attention to magic as well - to the theoretical and practical one. Again, thanks Twilight for explaining unclear moments... From the theory I understood what “world spells” are: these were mentioned by the Devil himself - by the equalogist, and their more pompous name was “The Laws of the World”. In reality, what it is and how does it work was a mystery for ponies: all of it was just an established theory, but not a proved one. The point is that some effects, resembling some complex magic by their influence, but no one knows why it works and who creates it. The “Cover” spell was on that list, and it works on all rational and half-rational beings on the Equus. Except that, I discovered another thing and was rather surprised: the possibility of ponies, dragons and griffons to fly was on that list as well. It seems that they shouldn't be able to fly, but some magic allows them to. Hoofkenesis as well, but, as far as I could understand from very cloudy explanations, not all ponies agree with that, because it works only on rational beings, but The Laws of the World must work on the half-rational as well... Or something like that, if I have even understood it correctly and didn't lose the track with reality... Well, I got exhausted from it. On the practical lessons I finally understood how to work with unwatched objects by telekinesis. It went badly, but at least Twilight taught me how to make a ponytail. Except telekinesis, I started to try myself in creating magical power fields, but everything was very bad in that direction: I had neither the knowledge, nor the energy to make this happen, and what’s even worse - I had no power and control. To our general with Twilight regret, she couldn't help me with that. Yeah, Twilight... Moving away from her and accommodate in a hotel, as I planned in the first place, wasn't going to happen: people still lose their minds from fear, and unfortunately for me, all three owners of hotels in this small town were scared of me the most and tried to run away from me by hook or by crook. The first one, pegasus, was scared to death and panic because of my attempts to communicate with her, and I just didn't catch her. The second one, a unicorn, was not found by me: either her cutie mark is about invisibility or a sufficiently root cellar with a good supply of food... Generally, her building is closed on a weekend, report, maintenance day, lockdown and et cetera whenever I come. The third pony, as it seems, found out about my tries and swiftly backed up: he closed his business for two weeks and ran away to Vanhoover, and if I’m correct - to his family. So I had to stay in library and sleep on the ground, on which I came over to from this awful bed on the second night. Of course, not the most pleasant thing, but still better than a low, tight and short grating bed. Well, my plan “live alone” has failed... As well as my idea of giving a gift to Fluttershy - jeweler was from the same scared rank, God damn him... With the thought about pegasus, I remembered the recent market's visit, after which I went to Flutty. Yeah, what a great day it was... I remember, when on the way back I met Applejack: she heard from someone about “evil devil doing some things on the market”, found out, that I was heading to Fluttershy - with her unconscious body on the back - and rushed to handle everything. Fortunately, farmer, as opposed to her rainbow-maned boon friend, knew to think and then act. At least she didn't try to fight me straight off the reel, demanding explanations first, even though in a very crude tone. Crude enough for a desire to wipe her nose to appear, but not enough for this desire to be done. Talking politely with the stubborn earthpony, we were dissatisfied with each other and separated: she moved towards Fluttershy to check my words, and I moved towards Twilight to eat and sleep. Didn't make it - met Twilight herself and Pinkie, Rarity and Spike half-way. They - what a surprise - started to look for me because of the situation on the market as well. They felt sorry about the poor trader there, if you can believe it... You don't know a better fu... You found just the best person to feel sorry about! ... “Nightmare, but it was wrong!” The white unicorn exclaimed. “You basically robbed him! Only one bit!” “Auction is auction.” I moved with wings phlegmatically. “He was offered the price of a bit and asked if he had objections. There were none, that means he was fine with the price. That’s all” “Yeah, it could have been a surprise if he had had objections...” Twilight grumbled. “You just scared the wits out of him, how would he insist?” “It’s only his problem that he didn't do something about this.” I waved aside angrily. “In the end, Fluttershy didn't try to lower the price as well - did anyone stand up for her? No! She can't - her problems, isn't it? Let her continue to pay more for her shyness - no one cares! And she surely appears on this market more than once a month - and every time she gets robbed! If you, her old friends, don't want to help - I can! And I will how I used to! I will not look how my savior pays twelve coins for a something that costs two-three!” “TWELVE?!” Twilight and Pinkie got surprised in unison, Rarity couldn't even find words from indignation. “What a penny-father...” Spike even said, which has been quiet like a mouse after our meeting. “When you said that he overpriced, I thought four-five, maybe six... But twelve?” Twi shook her head. “It's beyond the lines even in rather expensive Canterlot, to say the least...” “How this rascal had even enough boldness to do such a rottenness?” Rarity finally transformed her outbreak into words. “Poor Fluttershy! She didn't even tell us about it! Oh... How could I have missed it?...” The white unicorn drooped. “But... When I was with her on the market - no one tried to raise prices for her...” “Forgive us, Night! We really-really didn't know about it! And Flutty was silent... As always.” Pinkie sighed. “It’s fine. I assume that he wouldn't dare to repeat such actions.” I smiled gloomily. “I understand why you did so, but... Wasn't there a way without scary threats?” The Princess’ student couldn't hold herself from lectures. “I could pass the word part and start to break legs immediately.” I laughed. “Don't make such jokes, please!” Rarity looked at me with dread, others supported her wordlessly. “Who said I’m joking?” I looked at the stylist thoughtfully. “Who touches Fluttershy will be touched by me. Touched so hard, that his bones will be for miles apart!” ... Well, we've talked... They even apologized for suspecting me in everything bad, even though I didn't understand why. They weren't hurling accusations right and left, spoke pretty calmly, worked it out. Pinkie also apologized that she went to get a cake and didn't come back, giving me, as an excuse, a box of donuts, that was very well accepted by me and eaten afterwards with a great pleasure. And after that, we split up: I, Twilight and her assistant moved towards library, Pinkie and Rarity went home. And in the end, Rarity invited me to the spa, which we did during the evening. Phew, that's end! I shook with my body and indolently moved back and forth, regaining breath and, yet again, just getting pleasure from the chill grass under hooves. Ending a circle, I stopped and turned towards the lake. Warmed up! Now let’s get to the main part: to flights! ... “A-a-a! F!...” Squash! I emerged to the surface swiftly and looked around, trying to understand in which way I have to swim. I didn't have time to lay back my right ear to head - now it's filled with water. And dumping it out from the straight ears isn't an easy task... Damn it, I was going good! Well, more or less... And on a turning, I felt a blow of wind from the left - and this is game over. Bastard! I can fly only in a straight line and during windless calm! And if the conditions change - especially if they change sharply - my ear can hear only “squash”, “plash” and “plop”! It was good when Tia was backing me up... I, finally on shoal, felt the bottom with legs and wandered tiredly towards the shore, sniffing petulantly and shaking head in futile attempts to get rid of water in the ear. Neck and face were covered with stray mane - hair tie, gathering it into a ponytail, drowned somewhere during another splashdown a couple of hours ago. I’m not sure I’ll be able to fly, but to swim - for sure! At least, there's an improvement over yesterday. Shaking sharply, I moved out from the water - bright surrounding sand was decorated with numerous black specks. Getting higher, I fell onto the grass with exhaustion, though not forgetting to unfold my wings. Now I won't fly until they dry a little: soaked feathers weighed like metal. I’m tired a bit, huh... How much am I drowning here? At least five hours, not less... Nah, I think I've had enough today. I’ll dry and go home. I want to devour as hell - just can't take this anymore: everything, that I thoughtfully brought with myself, was eaten a long ago... I turned over onto my back and, in order to get rid of water, tried to do a pose on wings - local pegasi can do even this. But exhausted whining limbs refused to hold me, and I, to my burning indignation, poked horn into the ground. “Damn it!” I commented gloomily the soil-covered end of horn with a brightly stand-out piece of sticky grass on it. God, these thin things can be washed out only by a brush! And the water is still in the ear... The next ten minutes I spent on: firstly, wandering belly deep in the water, trying to wash horn in the lake, and then - shaking my head rabidly, trying to return my full hearing. Fortunately, these attempts gave results, and I, moving happily with my restored and fully hearing ear, started to pack up for the way back. ... And still, even though I fly so bad now - it's still unspeakably cool! I can't even remember such enthusiasm in learning something before: something more willingly, something - with great difficulty, but now, going towards the library, I couldn't wait for the next day to come, when after a rest during night, I’ll come back to the shore of the lake, to unfold wings and take off after a short run! And who gives a heck if this flight is over after a minute or so in water! It's just a beginning, but sooner or later, I’d be able to fly properly! By steep and toilsome ways to the stars! I, squeezing eyes with pleasure, smiled to my enthusiastic thoughts cavernously, noting with the edge of mind someone's scream and hurriedly departing stomping. However, an unknown mare with her reaction just made my smile even wider. ... “Good day, Mare in the Moon!” Oddly known voice returned me to reality. I turned to it dazedly, seeing Scootaloo waving at me happily. E-em, I don't get it... Is there an occasion or something? We've been coming across with each other a few times in streets - and I wouldn't say that her behavior stood out from others. It was clear that she treats me without any serious dread and even greet me from time to time, but the pegasus had no desire to talk, to say the least. And now this loud, expressive greeting, like for a show... Of course! Like for a show! I looked around swiftly, spotting another three fillies: white unicorn near Scoot and a couple of earthponies - gray and pink, with a small diadem on the head. Tiara, if to be precise, which she was named after. Did this little one decide to show a powerful and invincible ally in the person of me to her enemies? Nice one, kid! Not sure if it would help, but the overall idea is good. I must enter into the spirit for sure. “A-a, hello, Scootaloo!” I waved with a wing and turned towards her. “How are you doing?” “E-ehm... Fine, miss!” She lost courage for a second, clearly not expecting such a reaction from me, but recovered swiftly. “Again you say “miss”!” I pictured dissatisfaction loudly. “Nightmare Moon or just Nightmare, how much do I have to remember you?” “Oops... Sorry, Nightmare Moon! I’ll try to not flounder anymore!” I came closer to the kid and extended my hoof. She hesitated for a second, but shyly dabbed it with hers. “A... And where are you going from?” Scoot chose to ask, trying to maintain a vision of a casual chat for the passive onlookers. “From the lake.” I waved with wing towards the reservoir. “Water is beautiful today.” “M-m... And, yeah... How is your health?” The little pegasus decided to ask quietly, between us only. “The bruise is almost healed, I have permissions to fly, so more or less fine.” “Are you... Are you still angry at me?” Kid shyly poked soil with a hoof. “Not at all.” I smiled with my lips and added loudly: “But I still remember your promise! And wait an exuberant sacrifice at Nightmare Night from you! Don't forget!” I winked at the lost pegasus. “Two buckets. With a hill!” I explained my thought quietly. “Of course!” She started to glow. “I won't!” I looked around hastily. So-o, it seems that the spectators liked our small show with Scootaloo: no unicorns, no earthponies - no one at all. Wait... Didn't we overdo it, did we? “Ops, where is Sweetie?” The young pony looked around as well. “You wanted to introduce us?” I twisted eyes at the interlocutor. “Ehm... I guess... Why not?” Kid hesitated a little, while looking around. “Sweetie! Sweetie Belle!” She called. “It seems that your friend wasn't filled with inspiration about me.” I chuckled. “The plan was good, but be careful: they can treat you as my devotee - you're risking to be not only without enemies, but without friends as well.” “What plan?” Scootaloo tried to imitate surprise. “To show enemies that you rub elbows with the Mare in the Moon. Why would you greet me so pointedly then?” “It was so obvious, wasn’t it?” Kid drooped. “Excuse me, I...” “Everything is fine.” I waved away the excuses. “I said that the plan was not bad. Just be cautious - don't let expenses overweigh profit.” “If these cocky smugs back off - they won't.” Scoot said firmly. “And I guess Sweetie will understand me if I tell her everything and introduce you to her.” “Well, may be. Okay, good luck.” I extended a hoof to the little pony, and this time, she immediately dabbed with hers. “Thank you, Nightmare Moon! Farewell!” Mare said goodbye. “And... You’re not as evil as they told you about in class at all!” She added after a moment. “Are you sure?” I looked at the kid narrowly. She nodded, taking a step back reflexively. “In any case - thanks for kind words, Scootaloo. Farewell.” Turning around, I moved towards the road. “Not evil”, heh... Just not evil to everyone, Scoot. “Sweetie, where are you? Sweetie Belle!” I heard behind my back: pegasus tried to find the escaped from me unicorn-friend. Nevertheless, I still liked this pony. Swift tongued, not from cowards. I hope her acquaintance with me won't hurt her... Smiling and shaking head to my thoughts, I continued my way towards library. I’ll eat, rest... What a great day, isn't! 21. The Invitation, That Cannot Be DeniedCrunch! “God damn you!!!” I, with open hatred, squashed the broken quill with telekinesis, tearing it into pieces. Twilight, already trying to be as inconspicuous as possible, moved another half step away from me cautiously. “Enough!!!” I whipped off a piece of paper from the table sharply, looked at the blurry disgraceful inkblot, and crumpled the paper mercilessly, tossing it into a growing pile beside a trash can right after the remains of the quill. “Twilight, pencil! And more paper!” “P-pencil?” The librarian asked nervously. “But... No, no one writes a letter with them! You can't!” I turned my head slowly and gazed at the unicorn. Why should I give a fuck about using a pencil, you stupid horse?! I said: “Pencil”! Get it and don't talk gibberish! “Don't... Care!” I said through teeth. “Pencil! Now!” I screamed, looking at the flustered unicorn point-blank. “F-fine, ok-kay, I got it.” She panted and hastened to find it. It’s surprising how sometimes usual problems can force you into angry state, if there are too much of them, and they shouldn't be here at all! And everything started pretty all right: I returned to the library, where, besides food and rest, a letter from Princess Celestia awaited me She invites me to drop in on her in Canterlot. Why - didn't say, she was only interesting in when to send the chariot, that will deliver me to the capital. This surprising “just checking” does mean trouble, in my opinion. Deciding, that the “when to send” question was more likely only rhetorical, as a tribute of politeness, I chose to not wait for the best and to show up to the Princess tomorrow, considering the fact that I don't have plans on the next day in any case. Now it's unclear if I even need them... Slight problem - I had to write a short answer. And on this “slight problem” everything has stopped. Maybe the stress played its part, maybe something else, but my awful skills of writing were stooping to a whole new low and now became negative. And this lavender smarty pants put in her two cents... Two bits, damn her, with her essential commands: “You don't write to a random person, but to HER! Lines flatter! Letters nicer! Addressing is not full in the header!” And, in the end, unsurprisingly, she did it: she drove me crazy. And during my last attempts to write something readable, she was sitting tightly, trying to not show up once again... Unicorn, returning after a few minutes, lowered down before me a clean sheet and graphite pencil wordlessly, and stood aside, casting a dirty look at me. “Thanks.” I said reflexively, taking the pencil and lifting it above the sheet. I thought for a little while about wording: pretty words and fancy dancing aren't the things I want to do, we can say "hello” to each other during the meeting. She asked when to send the chariot - this is what I’ll answer, nothing more. “I will be awaiting your chariot tomorrow, at eleven in morning, on the same ridge as the last time. Nightmare.” Now we're talking! “This is not done”, damn you... Quills, in terms of comfort, can't stand a chance against the pencil. Yeah, sometimes it was clear, that pencil lead break out onto the sheet - didn't watch over the weight - but everything, that had to be written, is written, and on the first try at last. However, the letters weren't that beautiful, and lines started to drift down in the end. And the style was rather oldish - I’m still bad at the new grammar. I can read it with pain and misery, but building sentences myself... I cringed. Okay, it would do with a glass of beer, I’m still learning. “Send it.” Folding the sheet four times and making the bend almost sharp with my hoof, I handed it over to gloomy Twi. She got the letter silently and went to kitchen, where Spike was running the show. I rose from the table, feeling, how pleasantly my sleeping muscles are straightening up after long sitting in one pose and looked at the leaving unicorn. “Twilight, listen...” She didn't turn around and stood still, pointing her left ear towards me. “Listen... Sorry about it.” I apologized rather awkwardly. Damned idiot... I could have stopped her essential directions, but no - I suffered, clenching teeth, until her condescending tone just got me dead. Didn't go well. Twi, standing for a few seconds, went forward wordlessly, without giving any reaction to me. She felt offended. Damn it. This day started so good... The sky annoys me with its brightness, blueness and small, low hanging clouds, looking especially artificial and childish today, and the painted Sun, motionlessly hanging at the horizon, hurt my eyes unpleasantly. I want... Damn, I don't know what I want! Don't want anything - everything just annoys me and drives me crazy. Especially all these plush horses with unnatural muzzles, occurring along the way! So good yesterday not only ended badly itself, but brought a night with it, which was even worse. I dreamed of home. Of summer house, if to be precise, where we had been working and then resting with the parents. And the fact that it was them I was able to understand only by circumstantial signs! I think I, at last, saw faces, heard voices... But after awakening, my memory had only mother's blue jacket with a fresh paint blot on a sleeve, father's old classic shoes, strangely mixing well with a dungarees, and the rattle of flame in the brazier, on which we barbecue after a heavy day... And bottomless sky, adorned with a beautiful sunset, on which heavy, endless thunderclouds were moving from the south, preparing to pour down at our house during the night like a solid water wall. It was so real, stunning... And then I woke up in this damned Equestria! With its plain sky, drawn clouds and... Stupid horses, that deliberately walk in the middle of a narrow street, not paying attention at all! Some white mare, with unnatural blue mane and tail, was slowly walking before me, not giving an absolute heck about the outside world, shaking her head rhythmically. Others ponies, seeing me, leaned against walls and fences and followed her with nervous stares. I pushed the slowpoke out of the way on the middle of the road angrily, and was finally able to hasten the pace. “Hey, what... A-a-a!” A resentful exclamation turned to a fearful scream behind my back. I, twitching an ear reflexively because of the sharp sound, hastened to get this stupid horse out of my head, getting back to the thoughts, joyless since the very morning. And of course, such a “great” morning couldn't be spent in silence and loneliness: I promised to arrive to Celestia in the letter exclusively today! Visit to the bosses - this is what I so fucking need! Slashing my hips with my own tale angrily and barely being able to not roar, I passed by the edge houses and finally left Ponyville, coming to the already known ridge nearby. I didn't have to wait the chariot: it was already there, with a pair of pegasi-guards. Nodding to the stallions shortly, which followed me with alert and anxious gazes, I got into the cart wordlessly. Ponies, exchanging glances, put their backs into in the same wordless manner, and, after a short run, took off, forcing me to yet again angrily think about unnaturalness of everything that's going on here. Damned dream! Why the hell do I need these soul-tearing memories now?! There’s no way back, so why reopen old wounds? Shit, it's so rotten and sickening for my soul... And this shitty brown flying dummy on the right constantly look back at me... He drives me mad, idiot! After another look back pegasus shivered, meeting with my unwinking stare. The chariot shook a bit. “Stop staring already! Look at the road! It’s not firewood that you're carrying here!” Elevating the voice, I roared at him evilly. Pegasus looked away hurriedly, pretending full concentration on the flight, and getting a sidelong glance from the mate. To get rid of heavy thoughts, I tried to pay attention on something else. Interesting, why Celestia called me? The letter was in her style - somewhat smooth invitation and zero specifics about the business itself. Considering absence of clear reasons, which couldn't have been said in the letter... Well, I guess that the reason will be barely good for me. Excellent. When you think, that this day is already the worst, it turns out, that you just don't know everything about it... The mood, that was already shitty from the beginning, started to drop down even more. When the chariot finally went for a landing, my state of mind was absolutely horrible. ... “Lieutenant Rage Fire." The bright red mare, with her mane and tail the color of flame, introduced herself shortly as I stepped off the chariot, which had landed and stood still after a short run. Her purple eyes looked at me unkindly and without any fear from under an officer helmet. “Follow me.” It sounded more like an order - not a request. The mare, not waiting for my reaction, turned around sharply and moved towards the gates. Putting down the desire to whack her withers with something heavy, I followed. We were moving around the halls silently. The mare ahead of me was making me angry with her stupid color, with clutter of shoes on stone of the floor, with barely audible creak of some link in the armor, with gazes, that she casts at me from time to time - with everything. It’s good that she's silent: her voice was high pitched, breaching into your brain, sounded like a circular saw against metal, and I would have lost my mind if she had been speaking... I looked aside from the pony, trying to calm down at least for a bit, examining the surroundings. It doesn't matter what Tia waits me there, toy or not, but snapping and saying, maybe even doing stupid things are not the best things to do right now. After all, what's so bad in this world? The fact that it’s not fucking mine! Everything is wrong here! There are no sunrises and no sunsets, the sky is plain, the clouds are toy, the citizens are plush and not serious! There are no clouds, going upward for kilometers, there are no widening clouds for dozens of kilometers, there are no fleecy clouds somewhere above, there are no huge thunderclouds, covering the sky as far as the eye can see, like a saturnine cap. And the ponies themselves are matching the Equestrian toy sky. Bright colors, huge eyes, small wings, stupid horns... Drawn world. Unreal. Fake. In which everyone actually loves, makes friends, hates. And why the heck should I care about it? I want to go home... I sighed through teeth with force. There’s no home anymore. At least I can build a new one here, in Equestria... But still... “Her Highness Princess Celestia is awaiting you in the garden.” My attendant's sharp voice brought me back. Rage nodded at folding doors shortly, turned around and moved on down the corridor wordlessly. I followed her with a long stare reflexively. Waking up and shaking head, when the pony disappeared at the turn, I opened the doors and found myself on a high front porch, leading in the already known garden with an arbor and grassy pathways. I found Princess right away: the white alicorn stood on a small glade and, as it seemed, was looking sharply right at the Sun. I stepped down from the porch and froze a little bit behind, waiting for her reaction. I didn't think about any words to start the dialog with, and the mood, as during this morning, was absolutely terrible... Need in talking with someone about something is completely out. Honestly - I wanted to get wasted... “Good day, Nightmare.” Princess turned to me after a few seconds. She looked too welcoming and calmly, not like the situation requires. Somehow, it angered me only more. “Hello.” I answered curtly, making a mask of indifference. “How was your flight to Canterlot?” Princess continued to beat around the bush with the same smile “Fine.” What’s the use of this questions, come on? Just spit it out, don't mess with my brains! “Hm...” Celestia scowled a bit on my default, stock response. “How it is going for you overall? What's your opinion about Ponyville?” “Settling in. More or less.” Damn it, just stop this bullshit!!! What’s the use of this vain talk?! I close my eyes and do a few deep inhales, trying to calm down. “Is everything right?” Exponent. How much of concern and delicacy in the voice... Why does she need it? “It is. Maybe you’ll just say why do you need me here?” “Nightmare.” Princess swept a reproachful gaze over me. “I can see, that something bothers you. Tell me what. Maybe I can help?” “Why do you need it...” I waved away angrily. “Just... Just a gross mood. I don't have any desire to talk talkings. Just get to the business already, if you can.” “I just wanted to cheer you up. Mood cannot be bad without a reason. However, if you don't want to talk about it - I won't bother you.” Alicorn sighed. Was it a necessity to say it in such a way, that now I feel like a complete idiot? “About the reason of my letter.” Celestia broke the short, but rather uncomfortable pause. “Unfortunately, it's far from a pleasant one both for you and me.” I casted an impatient glance at silent once again Princess. She looked at the Sun thoughtfully for a few seconds - didn't even narrow her eyes! - turned around and looked fixedly right in the eye. I flinched from the question, that Celestia asked in the next second. She knows. Heart skipped a beat. 22. DarknessLuna woke up from a nasty feeling of swelled wings. Opening eyes, the Princess of the Night surprisingly and perplexedly found herself lying on stone floor. She tried to unfold the swelled limbs, but unexpectedly, something prevented it... Alicorn looked at her body and froze in bewilderment and fleeting fear: wings were pressed to body with a wide metal hoop, that doesn't allow them to be unfolded. “What... What is going on?” Luna dropped in a voice woolly from sleep, looking around. What she saw, immediately destroyed any remains of dream: half-light was running rampart around, barely being driven off by a couple of torch aside, she was lying on dirty stone floor, and thick ribs of a prison cell were above her. Haunted by perplexity and bad feelings, Princess tried to light up a firefly to get a better look of surroundings, but nothing happened. Her magic doesn't react. Now it's a real fear for her. Luna leaped to feet - and almost fell: the fore pair was chained together by a short chain. With ever growing dread, alicorn sat on haunches and felt for a collar on the neck with her chained fore legs, and then - for a massive ring on the horn - suppressor of magic. “What is it... Why?...” Princess swallowed fitfully. In the almost palpable silence that hung around her, Luna could hear her heart beating loudly and frequently somewhere in her temples. “Is anypony here?” She called, more out of desire to dispel this pressing silence. The voice echoed under the stone. For a moment prisoner thought, that no one and nothing is here, she's been locked and left here... The coming panic was driven off by a pale blue reflection of someone's magic, that was playing on dark walls, and a rhythmic sound of steps. Princess sighed with relief. A hope emerged, that whoever came here, would explain the completely odd and frightening situation. However, when after a few endless seconds, an unknown pony emerged from a corner, Luna's heart skipped a bit: from the half-light, a pair of blue glowing eyes with tight vertical pupil looked at her fixedly. “Nightmare Moon...” The Princess of the Night panted in a barely audible and shocked voice. Black alicorn, without her usual armor, was almost invisible in the darkness, creating a gloom feeling of soaring in the air eyes and horn, on which a small magic firefly was glowing palely, barely driving away the thick darkness around its owner. “You have woken up, traitor?” She asked chilly, coming closer to the cell. Luna looked at the floor dismally. After what she had done with Nightmare on the Moon, it was silly to think for a better attitude. Biting words of Nightmare spoke inside with filthy and bitter realization, that the black mare really has reason to call her, Princess Luna, in that manner. “Hello, Nightmare.” Lifting head, the prisoner greeted quietly. No matter how somber and nervous the situation is, but she always gave a chance to finally talk to the one who was born from the dark side of Luna herself and... Beg for mercy for the horrible mistake. “You're here to talk with me?” “There was no point in talking with you even before, and now, after what happened... No.” The owner of snake eyes shook head. “To execute you.” She ended serenely. “T-to execute?!” The Princess of the Night exclaimed out, springing and backing away from the bars in one move. A shiver ran through her body. All thoughts about talking were forgotten in a moment. It just doesn't make sense... However, what is to be expected from Nightmare Moon then? But... How did she kidnap her, Luna, from Canterlot? “Or you would say “for nothing”?” She cocked her head to the side. “After what you have done... I’ll make sure that your death is as miserable as your useless life!” “Sister won't leave me in trouble, monster!” Luna pursed mouth firmly. “She will come to me, and you will be sent back to the Moon for daring to imprison me!” The Princess of the Night eyed her enemy from head to foot with a heavy stare. Tia shouldn't have trusted this monster! It seems, she was only pretending, awaiting for the best moment to strike. And, when it came, decided to start with vengeance. “No one will relieve you, pathetic traitor!” She narrowed her eyes dangerously. “Celestia knows perfectly well, that you're here and will die soon. And she will do nothing to help you.” Depressing the voice, Nightmare Moon almost whispered and smiled evilly. “You're lying!” Luna yelled. But a chill ran inside of her for a moment from the glimpse thought, that her kidnapper can also be honest. “Tia will never do that!” Black alicorn merely chuckled in answer, casting a gaze at the Princess of the Night, that meant satisfaction and slight disgust. Luna, in her turn, smiled, hearing the coming silent steps and seeing golden light of her sister’s magic behind the Nightmare's back, playing on the stone walls: its warm sunny shade could be distinguished by Luna from a thousand. Black alicorn, following the prisoner's gaze, turned around, and after a few seconds, Princess Celestia came inside, lightening her way with magic light. “Sister, you're here!” Luna exclaimed with an unbelievable relief. “Your Majesty.” Nightmare emphasized a bow calmly. “Nightmare Moon.” The Princess of the Sun answered with a nod, not paying attention to her little sister at all. Something is really wrong. Captured alicorn shivered, thinking again about her dark reflection's words - it could be truth. “Everything is ready. Execution is tomorrow, at the dawn, if you don't want to do it in other time.” Black alicorn reported. “Came to say farewells?” She asked tonelessly after a short pause. “Yes, almost.” Celestia nodded. “I want to look in the traitor's eyes, who did this.” She nodded in the way she came from meaningfully. “Equestria will not forget this deed for a long time.” “W-what deed? What are you talking about, sister?” Luna looked at the Princess of the Sun hauntingly, barely holding tears after her words. “What deed?! And after all that happened you still have the boldness to pretend that nothing happened, beast?! Don't dare to call me your sister! I don't want to know you anymore!” She said through teeth quietly, casting a furious frozen stare at the blue alicorn from under the brows. Junior Princess shivered, like from a punch, and sat on the dirty floor limply - legs refused to stand. No-no-no, it... It's all false! It's a mistake! Tia couldn't... She just... Just made wrong conclusions, yes! Something happened, an evidence pointed at her, Luna, and sister made a wrong conclusion out of it! She just made a mistake! “My only mistake is that I trusted you!” The Princess of the Day said through teeth with the same icy voice: the junior alicorn didn't notice - she said the last words aloud. “W-what happened, Tia? I really don't remember, I swear! Tell me! Please!” Luna looked steadily at the white mare, which, as it looked like, gazed apathetically through her. Tears from the prisoner's eyes were rolling down by themselves. “Really, don't remember?” Celestia slurred indifferently, neither changing her pose nor face. “Really! I understand nothing and cannot remember anything! Tia, I beg you...” “Hm...” The Princess of the Sun swept a gaze over Luna and turned to the black mare, standing aside and looking at everything wordlessly. “Nightmare, I changed my mind. Go up and call off the preparations for the execution.” “But...” She looked dazedly at the white alicorn. “Go!” Celestia repeated forcefully. “E-e... Yes, Your Highness.” Hesitating a bit, Nightmare Moon answered at last and after shaking head with dissatisfaction, moved to the exit. Luna dashed away her tears with the tied fore legs awkwardly. Whatever happened, it seemed, that her situation was not hopeless after all. “So it turned out that you don't remember what you have done?” Following Nightmare with a gaze, Tia turned to the Princess of the Night. White alicorn's voice was still dead and chill. “No, I don't.” She nodded, looking at her sister with a hope: now there’s a chance to puzzle everything out, to prove Celly, that this is just a huge misunderstanding, a mistake! “Nothing at all?” The Princess of the Day specified with the same dispassionate, a little bit scary voice. “At all.” “What a shame.” Tia dropped with some cracked voice. She turned away from the cell, came closer to one of two burning torches on the wall and fixed eyes into its flame. “It’s nothing, I know how to help you remember.” White alicorn again returned to the dead chill tone. Her horn shined, creating a bubble of magical shield around the torch. Luna looked in awe as the flame slowly died, left without air. “How?” Luna dragged her gaze away from the torch, when it died out completely. Something was scary in this sister’s deed. Celestia kept silent, going to the second, the last burning torch instead and choking it with the same shield in the same softly manner. The only source of light left was the firefly at the end of white mare's horn. Luna narrowly looked at her, trying to get rid of the screaming feeling of anxiety. “Tia, what are you doing?” The nervous Princess of the Night gave in. Celestia ignored the question, coming to the cell closer. Luna shivered from meeting sister’s eyes with a blank stare. “Tia, tell me, what happened?” The blue mare overcame her fear. “I must know!” “Even on the edge of your own grave you’re trying to wriggle and turn the tables! Insisting, that you, allegedly, remember nothing!” Celestia said surprisingly evilly. Indifference in her eyes gave way to disdain. “But I...” Luna was stunned. “Silence! I've had enough of your lies!” Enraged Princess elevated her voice. “For your crime and these pathetic attempts to get away with that, there's your punishment: I’ll left you here alone, in complete darkness and silence! Maybe if nothing disturbs you anymore, you will remember, what you've done.” Princess Celestia ended the sentence with bitter sarcasm. Luna looked at her with open wide eyes and couldn't say a word because of the fear, that chained her. White mare turned away and slowly moved to the exit. “Tia...” The junior alicorn panted with strained voice. “Goodbye, Luna.” She said with cracked voice, stopping and barely managing to not turn back. “Goodbye forever.” Dealing with herself, Celestia said louder and again moved towards exit with decisive pace. “Tia, wait! I said truth to you!” Luna panicked. “Don't leave! Please!” The Princess of the Sun turned round the corner, leaving the room in darkness - only reflections of light at the turn allowed to see at least something. “Tia! No! I beg you! Come back!” Luna looked at the light, fading on the corridor's walls with fear. And shortly after, even these reflections were gone, leaving the dungeon and its prisoner in outer darkness. “SISTER, DON'T LEAVE ME! PLEASE! I BEG YOU!” Luna screamed desperately, straining voice, behind barely audible steps. Tears were pouring down her face, and the heart was getting slowly enveloped by primal fear. A door silently clanked far off, cutting steps’ sound. Luna was left alone. Until her dying day. 23. A Guess“NO-O-O!” Own scream teared the throat, the Princess of the Night opened wide her eyes and, trying to brokenly inhale, started to cough. Heart beat in the temples, giving painful kicks in head, tears were pouring down the face, the breath is lost. “It... Was a dream?” Luna sighed huskily, still trying to recover herself. Neck was unpleasantly chilled by the sticky wet mane, throat was sore, headache was rampant. Across the whole body, pressing the awkwardly swelled wings, the cover became a wet rag, fore legs were tangled in the balled sheet. Tired Princess, drilling her way through out of the bed clothing, stood up on wobbly legs and went to a window slowly. Behind draperies, spread with a sharp rush, the Moon was glowing on the sky. Behind the door a pat of teleportation and fast-paced steps were heard, and after a few moments, Celestia came into the room in a rush, driving away the half-light with the golden warm light of her magic. Luna shivered, unsure in what scared her more: the chill draft across her whole wet fur or the memories from the nightmare, which were brought by the plain magical light that drove away the darkness and reflected from the walls. “Luna, are you alright?” Tia examined sister worriedly. She twitched a wing nervously, not knowing what to answer. “You're okay, Lulu. Everything is good. I’m here, I’m close. Everything is good.” Junior Princess flinched, when Tia hugged her lovingly. “Guards, that were standing by your chambers, reported, that you were calling me. Calling in such a manner, that blood turns to ice! What happened, sister? What can I do for you?” “I... I don't know.” Luna panted in answer on both questions at once. She was still shivering from the memories. Celestia hugged her sister tighter for a moment, then stepped away, breaking the hug. Anxious and unrest were in the senior sister’s pink eyes. “Maybe we should continue our talk in my room?” The junior Princess looked around, stopping gaze at the scattered bed and answered with a shy nod. “Then close your eyes.” Tia pressed to her sister, and her horn started to glow brighter. Blue alicorn put her eyes together obediently, and in the next moment, a flash stroke through them, ears became clogged after height discontinuity. Being on the place, Celestia immediately found a fluffy plaid, in which Luna wrapped herself in with thankfulness: it became warmer and more cosily right away. Laying her sister down into a huge bed, Tia settled nearby, hugging sister with a wing. “How are you, Lu? What happened?” The Princess of the Day looked at still shivering Luna with worry and carefully put away the hair that sticked to her face, at which she, as it seems, didn't pay attention at all. Blue alicorn smiled faintly, looking at sister thankfully. Princesses were laying silent for some time, hugging each other. Luna clearly needed a rest, so Tia didn't rush forth, stroking her sister’s clotted mane slowly and awaiting an answer with patience. “I...” The Princess of the Night finally broke the silence with a sigh. “I had an awful nightmare, Tia.” “A nightmare?” The senior sister asked dazedly. “I had a guess, but... You're the ruler of dreams! How is it possible?” “I don't know.” Luna shook her head tiredly. “But I just couldn't manipulate this dream or influence it: I didn't even know, that it was a dream! Everything was so real...” The junior Princess droop head onto the bad limply and stared into a wall with unfocused eyes. Celestia, hugging sister tighter, mused. Long ago, even a few years before their quarrel, Luna found an old diary of some dead magician, who described the dream-walking and magic of dreams. Desiring the recognition by the subjects and from the senior sister, feeling, that this knowledge is a part of her talent, the Princess of the Night basically had dove into them, trying to examine and know everything as fast as she can. And even knowing the basics only, Luna effectively became the rightful owner of the Kingdom of Dreams - no one could go up against the alicorn, which talents were the dreams themselves. As sister told, after that, she had dreams as a rare occasion. And even if they came, nothing could fooled her: she knew clearly where dream ends and reality begins. But it was hard to get into the dream-walking even for Luna and her talent: it took her more than a year before her first attempts turned into tangible results! Was it hard for the back then Queen Celestia to cheer her little sister up at least with words? But she just waved away... “Yeah, okay, good that it's interesting for you. Just don't sit far into the night: there’s an important meeting tomorrow morning, and you should be there!” Tia sighed. Getting zero recognition from the sister, Luna swiftly lost interest in defending ponies from nightmares. And when she noticed, that after two months of hard labor and constant sleeplessness, no pony started to respect her more... Crushed and exhausted, she came to Tia again for support, and again - nothing. Queen, which, allegedly, never had nightmares in her life, did not take the words serious again... “On the bright side, in the next three-four centuries after Lu's banishment, I've seen all kinds of nightmares.” Celestia chuckled sadly. At one moment she even decided to learn the magic of dreams herself, but after seven years of attempts - there were no gains at all! Not having talent to catch the needed feeling, to guide her magic in the way it had to be done, wasn't possible. In the end, trying everything that her mind had come about, the Princess of the Sun admitted her failure and stopped it. “Tia.” The Princess of the Sun was brought back from the memories by a shy voice of sister. “Did... Did you really forgive me?” “I did, and I did it a long ago, Lu.” I don't bear a grudge against you - if it's important to know for you.” Luna, sighing heavily, smiled wanly, but darkened in the same moment again. “Yes, I know. Sorry. Just... You know it, dreams - especially nightmares - don't appear just because and...” The junior Princess hesitated. “You've seen a dream of me, not forgiving you.” Celestia realized and looked at sister with sympathy. “Yes.” Luna drooped. “And... Left me alone.” Tia wanted to say something, but interlocutor waved with a hoof, stopping her. “It all started with me, waking up from a feeling of heavily swelled wings... ... Celestia, sighing barely audible, covered her poor sister with a blanket and went out of the bedroom quietly. Luna paraphrased her scary dream in details, bursting into tears at the end. Tia was able to somehow calm her down only after half an hour, after which Lu fell asleep right on her hooves. Leaving sister in such a moment was something like a betrayal for the Princess of the Sun, but clocks already were showing eight and a little bit in the morning, and the Moon was still shining in the sky... And these deputies with ministers have proved themselves not the best ones during the past vacation, messing things up in just a week - it just cannot be postponed. Discord's job... Tia, sweeping the last sad gaze across sleeping sister, accurately closed the door behind her and, leaving her chambers, moved towards the Sun Tower - the night is too long already... “And here I am, Luna is left alone... As she saw in the dream.” Princess, walking down the hallway, was struck by this thought out of the blue. Without making the next step, Tia immediately turned around and, almost galloping, ran back. “Find and invite my secretary here, please.” Stopping at a post near the enter of her lair, Princess addressed to a guard. “Consider it done, Your Highness!” Pegasus stood at rigid attention for a moment and rushed forth. Entering, the first thing Celestia did was popping into the bedroom - sister cuddled and was sleeping peacefully. Tucking the blanket in, Princess left to the receiving room and went closer to a window: she can raise the Sun even here, after all... *** Finding herself in a situation, that she's watching somewhere through the sheet for already a couple of minutes, while not seeing what’s written on it, Celestia put the letter aside and rubbed her temples by hooves with a sigh. Princess hoped she could at least deal with the mail before her sister woke up and then, after talking to her and making sure Luna was okay, she could go to her office and do something more complicated and serious there than sorting out letters, but... Tia stood up and, going back and forth across the room, went closer to the window. Work was clearly not going well: thoughts always went back to Luna and her nightmare, that she saw. What could trigger it, what stress of sister turned into this terror? Alicorn rubbed forehead discontentedly. Something in all that mess wasn't right, some vague thought was at the edge of the mind. It's strange in general, that the Princess of the Night, the ruler of dreams and defender of ponies from nightmares, could have seen a nightmare herself. Sometime ago, Luna described how it all works. Nightmare is an energetic parasite, feeding itself by negative emotions of the sleeper, and who can trigger them with no outside help. But it cannot be triggered out of the blue by the parasite: the prey should already be in an unstable, nervous state of mind, and the stronger pony's emotional stress - the easier for the parasite to drag them onto the surface, converting it into dreadful dreams. But the most important, as sister said, is that no one, even the most full-fed and strong nightmare isn't a fight for an alicorn, who even barely knows dream-walking... But only if you can see it: realize, that it's a dream, not reality. But Luna, by her words, realized, that it’s a dream only when she woke up... The ruler of dreams didn't understand, that she was sleeping? It's even a bigger nonsense than the Sun, which revolves around the Equus by itself, as small number of sectarians from “Free Equestria”, which are for the overthrow of the “tyranny of the lying alicorns”, says and believes. What could have changed, why sister didn't recognize the dream? Could the still not healed magical insufficiency influence Luna? No, hardly... It could have intervened during their the day before yesterday attempt to get into the reality of dreams, since it badly affects specifically the complex and energy-consuming magic. So badly, that even a focusing ritual, designed to up the efficiency of a wizard in both control and energy consumption, couldn't help Luna. But even so, not allowing to simply understand where a dream ends and where it doesn't, the magical insufficiency clearly could not make such an effect... Celestia went around the room again, nervously trying to understand what she misses. Looking into the bedroom simultaneously, Princess noted, that her sister, during the dream, got rid of the blanket again, and now, curling, helplessly trying to protect herself from cold with wings. “Oh, Wuna.” Tia couldn't hold a short smile, and, entering the bedroom quietly, took up the plaid to again cover the restless Princess of the Night... To froze in the next moment, without executing the action, examining the pictured crescent on a black cloud on the blue alicorn's hip instead with a nervous scowl. “Nightmare has the same, but with purple...” Celestia remembered the talk with the Mare in the Moon about the cutie marks. Tia, getting back to reality, followed some multicolored bug with a gaze reflexively, flying by before her nose loudly and settling itself down onto a big bright yellow flower. Formerly, the palace garden was barely attended by her, but now, after two weeks, the Princess of the Sun noticed, that there’s nothing better for thoughts. And there were some... She still couldn't make a final solution what to do: what happened yesterday with sister and own following guesses still weren't giving rest. What could it mean? Idea, that came into head, was savage: could Luna lost her talent to the dream magic at all? Could the Elements somehow transfer it to Nightmare during the division instead? Nightmare Moon, controlling the dream magic. It was... Celestia rubbed her forehead worriedly. It's a scary thought - what can do someone with these abilities, who doesn't have a good will? The worst of all - Princess just couldn't leave this idea. However, Tia didn't see strong and definitive arguments for that theory either. One thing remains: invite the Mare in the Moon to castle and here, during a private meeting, try to confirm or deny this unusual and scary thought: Nightmare Moon - the ruler of the Kingdom of Dreams. Fortunately, even surprisingly, she gave her agreement to meet already today, and the chariot will deliver her very soon. Princess sighed. In yesterday’s letter she didn't explain the reason of this emergency invitation to the Mare in the Moon. It wasn't right, but... What if this nightmare was made by her hooves? Then she could escape and hide. Or opposite - attack. Or... Celestia fixed eyes at the Sun, thoughtfully examining its surface, intolerably bright for anyone else. And she still couldn't think, that it was Nightmare - by the own experience of talking, in the student's letters, she wasn't the kindest and best person, but she didn't have desire to harm pony, to conquer, to enslave... But it cannot be tossed out entirely either way: she could have done this just from personal hatred towards Luna. And if so - will do again... In that case, Nightmare should be stopped. But even if this crazy theory is right... Bad dream may not be Nightmare's deed. And in that case everything goes even harder: there wouldn't be reasons to punish and restrict her. She didn't have desire to do so, but if she earned access to the magic of dreams, didn't use it for creating the nightmare, then... Then what to do? Keep it quiet from her, forbid its usage just because of concerns? Celestia sniffed angrily: the idea was extremely ugly and disgusting. Absolutely unacceptable! Then... Teach and guide her? But how? Even the Princess of the Sun herself couldn't do much in the magic of dreams, even though she still remembers a bit of theory. Magician's diary, which was used by Luna as a textbook, is lost. Sister herself... No, even if she lost this power, she didn't lose her experience and knowledge and surely would use it after the recovery, but... Meeting with Nightmare cannot be a good one. Celestia sighed tiredly. In any case, all these thoughts are not well-timed - she has to find out if Nightmare is even involved in this or not. Princess fixed her eyes on the Sun again and, closing eyes, focused, guiding magic into her horn. What she's going to do was hardly honest - this is why it became even more unpleasant in the soul. Barely noticeable dizziness passed off swiftly - the spell is active. Now outright lying will not be unseen... Tia cringed: it didn't matter how much she tried to persuade herself about necessity of such a step, but the feeling of personal dishonest during usage of this possibility never left her. However, this is the only way to find out everything, asking only one question... The door silently banged behind her back, shoes started to clatter on the stairs like metal. Princess slowly turned around, meeting a heavy gaze from turquoise eyes. High pitched and nervous, like a string, the Mare in the Moon was looking at her expectantly, slashing her hips with the tail nervously, clearly awaiting nothing good from the invitation. “Good day, Nightmare.” Tia smiled, turning to the black alicorn. Smile looked a little bit forced. “Hello.” She replied with a slightly cracked voice, clearly trying to not show her worriment. Talk is excepted to be not an easy one... "How was your flight to Canterlot?” Princess tried to slightly cut the tension with a relatively standard question. “Fine.” Guest replied in a monosyllabic tone, and it seemed, that she got strained even more. “Hm...” Celestia scowled a little. She didn't know Nightmare well, but, as she could judge, this stiff behavior is not a standard one for her. “How it is going for you overall? What's your opinion about Ponyville?” Princess tired to get the black alicorn on the path of talking once again. “Settling in. More or less.” Concerning answers in a monosyllabic tone were spoken once again. Meeting the Mare in the Moon's gaze for a moment, Tia reflexively shivered from the flaming annoyance and heavy anxiety. In the next second she closed her eyes, trying to covertly make a few deep inhales, clearly for calming purposes. What happened? Maybe she's nervous because the dream is made by her hooves, or maybe the reason is different? “Is everything right?” Celestia asked, not counting on getting a direct answer. Nightmare cringed for a moment, as this question was unpleasant for her. “It is. Maybe you’ll just say why do you need me here?” She answered sharply - even evilly. Something did happen. She surely needs help. “Nightmare.” Tia addressed to her after a short pause. “I can see, that something bothers you. Tell me what. Maybe I can help?” “Why do you need it...” Black alicorn waved away angrily, causing a short twinge of sympathy from the Princess of the Sun. Maybe she's nervous, because she doesn't wait for anything good... As always... “Just... Just a gross mood. I don't have any desire to talk talkings. Just get to the business already, if you can.” “I just wanted to cheer you up. Mood cannot be bad without a reason. However, if you don't want to talk about it - I won't bother you.” Nightmare really wasn't happy about the perspective of having a conversation. Knowing, how hard it’s for her to believe in someone else’s benevolence, it would have been a mistake to persuade her to open... Celestia sighed. “About the reason of my letter...” Princess continued. “Unfortunately, it's far from a pleasant one both for you and me.” Stopping, Tia looked at the Sun. It’s time to get down to bedrock, but didn't want to do this. It was hard to get even a bit of trust from the Mare in the Moon, and lose it because of today’s questions is very easy and simple... But there was no other way to find out her involvement in the sister’s dream. Making decision, Princess Celestia lowered eyes and narrowly looked in the guest’s ones. “Nightmare, answer please: what do you know about the world of dreams?” Nightmare shivered, like from a strike, and panic flashed in her eyes, forcing out every other feeling. Is she really?... What a shame... 24. Bladetalk“Nightmare, what do you know about the world of dreams?” How she?! She is!... From?.. Fucking shit! Luna!!! This blue scumbag can walk in others’ dreams! She saw everything! And, of course, ratted out to the sister, that I’m not Nightmare! Letter, of course, came before today’s dream, but dreams are remembered not often: I could have dreamed about it earlier - two days ago, for instance - but I didn't remember it... Or it could be washed out from the memory for early concerns to not appear! I didn't remember the previous dream, didn't recognize its danger and just calmly waited for an extermination notification, relieving the Princesses from the need to chase me in forests and gorges... “Nightmare?” Celestia called me. I shivered from surprise and got back to reality. Princess barely narrowed her pink eyes and fixed gaze on me. Fuck this, I wouldn't give up that easily! But if there would be a fight, I won't be able to fight back, but if Tia still talks... “Just odd question...” I shrugged with wings and cringed in thought: voice is cracking, and the gesture was clearly factitious. You don't have to be a thousand year old alicorn to notice it... Damn it! “You're nervous.” Princess marked plainly. “What's scary in my “odd” question?” “Well... World of dreams is your sister’s business, I guess.” I hummed skittishly, trying to get rid of the feeling, that she's getting me against the wall. “I bet you know even more about it than I do.” “Nightmare, give an answer, please. What do you know about world of dreams?” Celestia's voice timbre sort of didn't change, but it became colder in the garden instantly. It would have been better if she had just screamed at me, than... Than this. I stepped back reflexively. The feeling was the same as being guided towards a tank gun with your face. “N... Not a lot.” I stumbled, swallowing lump in the throat with force. “World of dreams is a Luna's estate. I think, that she can see someone else's dreams through it and influence it. And also she has some magic of dreams, that, as far as I’m aware, tied with this world. Or it doesn't?” I rubbed my forehead. “I don't know for sure. Maybe I even got some knowledge from your sister, but I have to dive into the memory and look for it there. Don't remember anything more.” Finding myself in a nervous digging by a hoof, I froze by force of will, trying to calm down. She asked, “What do you know about the world of dreams?” Here's my answer. Nothing scary at all, just a question. She didn't ask head on: “Who the hell are you, mug?” And, yeah... “Dive into the memory... Unusual word collocation. You didn't mean just memories, right?” Princess asked thoughtfully. “Can I say nothing?” I glanced askance at Tia. Alicorn, rewarding me with a heavy gaze, shook head. Tear you apart and glue together out of whack! Interlocutor's ear shivered. I hope this was a mosquito - not me, saying it loudly... “You see, Princess...” I moved towards the path as if it was a reflex. It was easier to think. Alicorn followed me, joining nearly. ‘Memory about what had been of me before... Returning here - it is not just memory. I just cannot simply remember it like: “How it was? Ah, yes...” If I try - it sucks me in, like a whirlpool. I don't just remember it - I live through it again, you know? Everything, with every detail - every move, every feeling, every thought and emotion! Like for the first time... And I can barely can disengage myself from it. I tried... So I can remember a massive amount of skills, that were available for me and Luna before... And this is why I won't do it. After some memories from there, it's hard to push myself to live further. Honestly - erase it without a trace left...” “And you, to remember something, live through the Moon again and again... Oh... I... Sorry about it.” Princess drooped. “When in doubt leave it out.” I muttered gloomily in answer. We were going further silently for some time. I don't know what Tia was thinking about, but I just moved my legs thoughtlessly. The morning anger has ended, leaving unfulfilled dreams, meaningless regrets and stupid apathy after itself. I don't even know now why I was scared when Tia asked me the question: even if she decides, that I am some otherworldly garbage, taking over someone else's bodies, and vaporizes me... It’s a nice day to kick off. “So there's not a lot you know about the world of dreams?” Tia's voice brought me back into reality. “Now.” I marked with voice. “Not a lot. And generally, if put all my knowledge at the table - there wouldn't be much of them. The thing is, an instrument, whose task is to fight you, hadn't had to know a lot.” I grinned sourly. “So your dearest sister wasn't in a hurry to spread the word about it. Finding it out by the remnants of her memory did not succeed then, and I won't even try now.” And yeah, Luna definitely would explain the magic of dreams to Nightmare, keep saying. After all, then she might not have allowed herself to be abandoned. Without it - a precise stab in the back, without even a chance to survive it... “So you don't know how to enter the world of dreams either?” Lifting head, Princess muttered semi interrogatively, after examining her fore legs with a gaze beforehand. “No. But you know, I would like to.” I chuckled sadly. However, despite the descended indifferent, it's a little bit easier on my chest: it seems that the reason of my invitation wasn't in my dreams. “May I inquire why? To revenge Luna, isn't it?” Tia narrowed her eyes. “To sleep without dreams myself for the starters...” I cringed. “So the of your bad mood was a nightmare?” Princess prolonged thoughtfully, slowing the pace for a second. “You could say that. I dreamed... I dreamed about something from the past.” I muttered reluctantly. Some plain and unnatural sky above on contrast with again appearing sky of my own world before my eyes created another flash of bitterness. I scraped with my teeth and hastened to look down. Damn it, why did I remember it again... “I’m sorry for my acridity, Nightmare.” Princess smiled guiltily. “I shouldn't have pumped on you, but... I should check, that Luna's nightmares aren't your fault.” “Princess of dreams saw a nightmare? What an irony.” I couldn't hold a chuckle. “Well, I’m happy for her." “Nightmare.” Princess looked at me harshly, puckering up mouth. “Sorry.” I slurred indifferently. Celestia sighed. We ended a circle around the garden in silence. “You called yourself “a Luna's instrument.” Princess broke the silence after a few minutes. “Let me explain that you're not.” I hummed in answer emphatically . Go ahead. Luna somehow created the Nightmare’s personality, adding all the negative she felt towards Celestia herself. This new personality supported Princess in her loneliness, in the desire to get rid of Tia - in everything, that one can imagine. But it wasn't enough for a victory... After four centuries of attempts to create something together... During which Luna decided, that Nightmare is useless and, after finding a gap herself, just left the already formed personality alone, dooming it on a fate that worse than death. Used and tossed out. Like... An instrument, yes. Try to prove me wrong, Tia. I’ll laugh. “Luna... Made a mistake, Nightmare. She told me, that in some moment, a thought appeared in her head, that you’re... A spirit. An evil spirit, which captured part of her mind and demands blood and destruction. It’s astonishing how it fits well with the official representation of the events...” Celestia tried to explain confusedly, with unusual for her uncertainty. “Yeah. The fact that she made a mistake is, of course, a game changer.” I commented plainly. “She was afraid, Nightmare. Afraid of you, and, most importantly, herself.” Tia sighed, drilling the path, that lies beneath our legs, with a gloomy stare. “Decided, that weakness of her character, her hatred and jealousy created a real child of darkness, which would never allow her to forgive me, even when she herself did that already. She was afraid of you, harming me, and wanted to protect me.” “This is why she betrayed me and withdrew, leaving everything on a lady Luck's choice.” I hummed gloomily. “It doesn't seem that her "brightest” idea helped you during our second meeting...” I chuckled sadly at the appeared thought. “It’s funny that in the result, as it seems, I wasn't the only one who got a beating, but you as well, even though in an indirect way. But even after being on the Sun yourself, you still decided to trust me. This is what I don't understand the most.” Celestia looked at me with a thoughtful gaze and sighed. “What is wrong with trust, Nightmare? I've got a feeling, that you don't want me to believe you at all. Why?” “Maybe because you don't have a reasonable reason to?” I curved my brow. “I almost killed you during the first meeting, on the second - I had sent you to the Sun. And after that, you suddenly demonstrate some unusual, unnatural trust, which forces me to think, that...” “Unnatural trust?!" Oh..” Freezing on the spot, Tia intercepted me with shock and rubbed forehead with a shoe. “This... Well, what do you call natural, Nightmare?” “Well...” Stopping as well, I scowled. “When someone fears me or doesn't trust - it's normal, understandable reaction on... A pony with my reputation. But when you get armor all of sudden - it's unnatural. No one in control of his senses wouldn't give his enemy armor back, even though a former one.” Princess listened to me, looking somewhere beyond the horizon thoughtfully. “You know...” She dropped after a few seconds. “I can't understand what scares me more: your takes that fear and distrust are natural things, or the fact, that you really heartily believe it yourself.” Snowy alicorn shook head with sadness. “Heartily believe it”? I knew, that any attempts to lie can turn out badly: seems, that she can feel truth somehow. Even though I wasn’t planning on lying to Tia, but some unpleasant feeling still appeared. “About the armor...” Princess continued. “Why do you still think of me as your enemy, Nightmare? I said earlier, that I forgave you and decided to give you a second chance - why don't you want to accept it? Is it worse than hostility?” “A bad peace is better than a good war, of course...” I agreed “But it doesn't appear like that: “Okay, we’ve made peace, we’re not enemies anymore, we forgot the past, let’s hug!” “Actually, strangely enough, your words are depicting the right term of making piece.” Celestia smiled a bit sadly. “Like this: we're not enemies anymore, it's time to leave former insults in the past and move into the future. There’s surely no reconciliation without it... But I hear irony in your voice. Don’t you believe in the possibility of making peace with me itself? Or you just don't trust me personally? But have I done something to deserve your distrust? Or it's just because you can't forgive me for your banishment?” You're not the issue, Tia. You're surely not... I swept a long gaze over the sky, and somewhere far away, toy pegasus towed a painted cloud, and I couldn't hold it: “Tell me, Princess... The world around, all these trees, flowers, sky - is it all real? Are YOU real?” I gazed at the clueless alicorn. Tia, looking through me with loss, hesitated with an answer. “You of course would say” “Indeed, everything is real!” I nodded to myself. “But how can you prove it, m?” “Nightmare?!” Getting back, snowy mare blinked with shock. “What are you...” “Nothing.” I gave a twisted grin, breaking the Princess of the Day mid-word. “I’m still wondering about whether I am here for real or it’s just a long dream, and I’m still there and all this.” I waved around the garden with my fore leg. “...Is a phantom of my sick imagination.” Tia looked at me with absolutely unreadable savage look. “No, I understand it with my mind, that these fantasies are sheer nonsense, but...” I rubbed forehead with a hoof. “But I just cannot leave them and stop thinking about them. “What if?...” My mind has let me down already - can I trust it? Can I trust myself?” I stared at the pink eyes point-blank. “Can I trust myself, a toy Princess of a painted world, huh?” I didn't hold myself, just let it go onto her... Damn it... I gazed at Celestia, frozen like a statue. “And you offer to believe others.” I summarized sadly and, turning around, went away from the path. “Nightmare.” Princess’ quiet voice caught me after a few steps. “Does it really matter if the world around is real or not?” I stumbled on a plain place. What? What?! I turned around in a rush. Wanted... I don't know... “It doesn't matter if this world is real or not.” Alicorn shook head. “The important thing is that the thoughts, feelings and emotions it evokes are real. Yours. Let this world - and me with it - evaporate, like morning mist, but everything, that you feel here and here.” Princess’ hoof touched her temple and chest consistently. “Is yours and will be with you.” “And for what? To wake up more painfully? The happier the dream - the bitterer the awakening.” I insisted gloomily, hesitating for a few seconds. Tia's words threw me off the track. “It’s opposite. To hearten and cheer you up. Show you what you can strive for and achieve. To show who can you be yourself.” Celestia looked at me with great panache and smiled cheerfully. “And who can I be?” Drooping, I chuckled sadly. "The unwanted one? You think, that I don't see that I’m absolutely unwanted here? Honestly, it's hard to say - do I fear to wake up... Or look forward to it.” “Nightmare...” Snowy wing's tip touched my chin softly. I lifted my head reluctantly to meet the Princess pink eyes’ gaze full of sympathy and sorrow. “It’s not true. Don't think of yourself worse than you are. You feel as if the world does not want to accept you now - and you don't want to in answer. But it's false: Twilight wrote, that you already have friends, that care about you. That you like to learn and practice new... Don't hurry to decline everything so categorically. You're not unwanted - you just need friends and a little bit of time.” I stepped back, looking at my legs in thoughts. Maybe it’s true?... That life is over. And even if I'd imagine that it's not - would it be easy to get back to it? I don't want to give answers - I can get a shiver down my spine. So easily - no, it’s impossible. Yeah, I've been here for a little bit than nothing, but Pinkie, for instance, as it seems, thinks of me as a real friend - and it would be very painful for her to lose me. And my own opportunities? Abdicate from good health? From magic? From flights? I could get back to the old life, sure. But not that easily. Maybe it's time to finally accept it and live on? What Tia said? Remembering the old, not to be discouraged, but to be inspired by it. What sorrow about my lost home can give me? Isn't it better to try to remember all the good things that were there to rely on those here? Because melancholy won't give me anything. I blinked, getting back into reality. Princess awaited my reaction with patience, thinking about something. Sun was shining at the golden breastplate, wind was budging the white fur subtly. I looked closer, narrowing my eyes, and, with some surprise, saw almost invisible scar on the left shoulder. It’s strange that it's still there... I swept my gaze up. Huge pink eyes thoughtfully examined the garden, the left ear moved reflexively to get rid of a bug... Alicorn scowled to her own thoughts, then noticed my gaze after a second and, waking up, looked at me with careful anticipation. She's alive, real. And her irides’ pattern is beautiful. Like a mountain from up high. “I'd like to believe. Thanks for kind words, Princess.” Tia smiled in answer warmly, and I finally felt calmness in my soul. I felt desire to live on for the first time during this morning. 25. The Princess' Guest“Enjoy your meal, Nightmare.” “Thanks, you too.” I nodded to Tia and looked at the table with doubt. I don't know what to look at first. Some soup, porridge with vegetables, three salads, one of which is a fruit one... And a bunch of flowers. For the last bit. Celestia wasn't hurrying to show me to the masses for some reason: I and Princess were the only ones in a small dining room. Teleported, ordered to throw a party, came back for me... Yeah, teleportation is not everybody’s cup of tea... Of course, maybe it's about getting used to it - I don’t know... But it's like you've been washed in a washing machine and wrung on a thousand eight hundred revolutions in the end. Head still feels a little bit dizzy, “enjoying” me with a feeling as if the eyes were narrowed to the nose and there’s no way to put them straight at the same time. “It will pass away quickly.” Tia reassured, for which my strains aren't a mystery. “If you use teleportation regularly - you get used to it.” “Nightmarish feeling.” I closed left eye and moved it all the way to the right, trying to somehow get rid of the false crossed eyes. Princess, judging by a little bit unnatural face, clearly swallowed a chuckle. “Soup?” She offered after a few seconds. “Why not.” I shut eyes tight and then blinked swiftly. It seems a bit easier now. Tia poured a dense liquid of bright orange color into the bowls. “Sun in a bowl.” An association came into my mind. “Pumpkin cream soup with carrot and potato.” Princess presented. Don't like pumpkin that much, but overall looking... Is positive. There’s no association coming from my mind. I grabbed a spoon from the table and... “Nightmare, it's a salad spoon. The right one is for the soup.” Yeah, thanks, nice fucking idea! I looked at Princess with a listless gaze from under my brows and, with barely audible sigh, drew out the soup with the salad spoon. Wow! Great! The pumpkin almost doesn't feel... Very good indeed. Drawing back, I lifted the Tia's noted spoon and, drawing out, touched a drop. “And where’s the difference?” I looked at the alicorn, which still examining me with some sad thoughtfulness. Celestia gazed a questioning look. “What is the fundamental difference, which cistern to use, if the final taste is the same? I don't see different in comfort as well.” I twisted the soup spoon before my eyes, put aside, lifted up the salad one... Etiquette is good to an extent. I can use fork, spoon and knife easily, don't slurp, don't throw tea around, don't blow nose in the tablecloth and don't fix eyes at a phone at table - and I thought that it was relatively enough. But clear quirks like different spoons for different kinds of soup, different towels for the left and right hands and different looks of faces for eating different foods I cannot understand at all. For whom and with what purpose does it exist?! Humans had time to waste... And, as it turned out, not only humans. “I should have guessed it after your letter...” Ending with the soup after some time, Tia said tiredly, putting aside the empty bowl. “I wrote what I was asked for.” I shrugged with wings, ending with my portion as well. It was tasty... “Did it really hurt Twilight?” I looked away from the bowl and gazed at Princess dazedly. Celestia chuckled, noticing my reaction. “Wasn't a mystery. The letter was sent through Spike, it means she saw it.” “And?” “Maybe Twilight is not from the oldest and greatest, but still from an aristocratic family - it means that she knows the rules of conversation in the privileged circles, even though she wasn't interested in it...” Alicorn smiled a little bit sadly. “However, she possesses the writing etiquette clearly. And the fact that you wrote a letter with a pencil can be described in the high places as disrespect and as a serious insult by itself. Even absence of titling and official greeting are piece of cake at this background. I understand that you wasn't able to get the needed knowledge, but Twilight surely counted it as insult to me.” “Aha-a...” I prolonged. So Twi, as it turned out, wasn't offended for herself, but for the mentor... “It’s nothing, I’ll write her to bear no grudge against you.” Tia smiled softly. “Thanks. But I'd continue to use pencil. These quills...” “I understand your problems.” Princess nodded. “But still try to get used to quill. You're an alicorn, and you will have to communicate with the aristocracy anyways.” “I’ll never take a quill in my life.” I cringed. “And if some noble would be offended - just come to me and say it to my face.” I smiled malevolently, exposing the “saw” of fangs. “Nightmare. Even so, try, please.” Celestia looked at me with reproof. How does she do it, how? One stare, five words - and I feel like a capricious child, whose mother exhaustedly persuades him to not be naughty and behave well. I looked at Princess gloomily. “Second?” She offered calmly. “Second.” I accepted. This porridge was strange. I not only have not tasted it - I haven't seen it. “Rye porridge with garnish of carrots.” Alicorn explained, seeing my questioning gaze. The dish wasn't the best one, but, at least, it felt rather satisfying. Then we ended the salads, and Tia, with one move of her horn, put together the empty dishes on a stealthy hidden trolley at the door, and started to show the desert - tea and bakery... Watching half-eyed as Princess slowly, after a meticulous examination, one by one, transfers cakes, pastries, and other sweets to the table, I pulled the flower I liked from the jug with the bouquet and, after twisting it in front of my eyes and sniffing it, bit off the bud. It pleasured me with a nice flavor with some honey hint, unfortunately faint and watery. When Celestia ended with table appointments of the most important dishes of our lunch and again took her place, I was ending with a fifth flower. “Not bad, but roses were more delicious.” I followed her gaze, which was on the half-filled vase with flowers. “Roses?” “Yeah... There was a magnificent bush of those back in the garden... Came closer to just sniff, but couldn't hold myself. Tasted a few...” Damn it, they were smelling so seductively... I haven't eaten since morning, Princess went to the servants to set the table. I got excited because of boredom, came closer, smelled it... Take a bud into mouth, bid the scape, started to chew... This taste is superior! I didn't hold myself - ate a few because of the hunger... Well, not a few - a little bit more... “You... My roses...” Princess looked through me with a loss. Damn. I think I did something wrong... But I was hungry, God damn it! “O, Celestia!...” Alicorn screened her face with a tip of a wing for a moment. E-e... What?! “What-what did you say?” I narrowed eyes acidly, leaning forward. “N-nothing!” The Princess of the Sun's gaze started to run around, and crimson color started to swiftly appear on her cheeks. “I think I just...” “it's just your eyes playing tricks on you!” Tia broke me off mid-word swiftly, laying back her ears, that now have the same color as the cheeks. “How long has it been with you?...” Chuckling, I made a washy gesture. “Don't remember! Caught it from the subjects.” Princess grumbled shyly, gazing at the table. “You look cute when you blush.” I smiled to Tia. Smile turned into a victorious chuckle, when she turned red even more. “You're too.” Celestia lifted her eyes suddenly. “Huh, when was it?” I scowled. “When you teared the pillow to pieces against a wall.” Princess slapped with her lashes innocently. A, damn it, it's right... Wait! It could be seen even through my dark fur? “Of course.” Celestia giggled, covering her mouth with a tip of a wing. “It’s not only the skin that turns red, but the fur itself as well, changing its color, like when cutie mark appears.” “Did I say it aloud?..” The question sounded, surprisingly, pathetically, and cheeks and tips of ears, unfortunately for me, were filled with heat traitorously. Damn it! Tia, tittering, started to laugh quietly, forcing me to indignantly gaze at her with a lightning bolt. “Oh, Nightmare!... Forgive me please, but it was so... Cute! I couldn't hold myself.” Princess looked at me disarmingly, ending her laugh. “I have been recognized as cute and was laughed at - now only my painful death can wash this endless disgrace!” I waved away hopelessly. “In fact, it's better to pour the tea!” “I thought that you're serious for a moment.” Alicorn said thoughtfully after a surprisingly steadfast gaze, taking a kettle with telekinesis at the same time. “May I inquire what's disgraceful in being cute?” “Will many take this serious from a... Pony with such a reputation?” I chuckled. “You've called me cute yourself.” Celestia waved with a wing. “Have it influenced your attitude towards me?” “Maybe... It’s too early to say. Thanks.” I accepted the tea bowl from Princess. The tea itself was very close to rather potent and sugarless black one by the taste - mouth-puckering and bitter. I hastened to chase away the bitterness with a muffin. “And yeah, I still haven't asked you about your health, Nightmare. Horn, wings? Any improvements?” Kissing the cup as well, Tia gave mouth after a pause. “Well...” I shook my head indefinably. “By the way: is there any job for an alicorn with horn inserted upside down, and wings, that are growing from the croup?” “Pfhhh...” Princess choked over her tea. “Nightmare! I asked you - do not think of yourself worse than you are!” She looked at me with reproof. “You're a normal pony, you just have to recover yourself and... Is it really that bad?” “I don't have any clue how it should be.” I spitted truth. “But I don't think it should be the way it is now.” Tia sliced and ate a slab of cake with deeply thoughtful look on her face. “You have been medically examined, right?” She finally addressed to me, clearing her lips with a towel accurately. “Wouldn't be too hard for you to remember the diagnosis that taumalogist had made?” “Is it one about the magic?” I specified the barely known term. Princess nodded positively. “I wouldn't remember it very accurately now. I remember his advise to not overuse horn and do magic less generally.” “Okay.” Celestia started to think again. “I guess he hadn't understood what he was handling, so just said general and harmless recommendations - Luna's recommendations are not the same... Would you mind if you attend my castle doctor? She's the best in her field and, I think, can establish a more precise diagnosis.” So Luna is a cabbage now as well? It would be nice if she stays like this more than me... And ideally - forever, scumbag... Of course, it's only dreams, but who knows? About the doctor... I doubt the possibility of Tia, keeping a bad specialist in the castle. Even though the doctor back in Ponyville really tried, overcoming fear, but if his recommendation aren't trustful for ancient and worldly-wise Princess, then, as I assume, she knows better... “If she wouldn't look under my tail and wouldn't panic - I’m fine with that.” I nodded. “She wouldn't panic.” Celestia assured. “And... It can be hard, Nightmare, but try to treat her... Gently. Doctor Hubris can be a little proud and, sometime, reveal some indelicacy, but I assure you, that she's a wonderful specialist. And yeah, she wouldn't look under your tail as well... Will you share why did you emphasize that? Hard time with equalogist?” “M-m... Let’s say it’s not the best procedure out there.” I grumbled. “And hey, why is this even obligatory?! As if alicorn could have problems with illnesses...” “They can, even though it's a very seldom occasion.” Tia nodded to my surprise. “Only serious illnesses can get us, many of them are deadly for ordinary ponies, and even though they they go in a mild case, but I think, that without proper treatment, such sicknesses can kill even us. And the reproductive system is a problem on its own for us.” Princess sighed. “Alas, but because of our power, pregnancy is a very rare, unique occasion.” “How’s that?” I got interested reflexively. “Let me start from far off.” Celestia, making her last sip, put the empty tea bowl aside. “As we all know, any living creature exists in the Universe because of magic...” I chuckled quietly. Interesting take. “Moreover, only because of it rational beings had a chance to appear, such as ponies, griffons, dragons and many others. But magic doesn't allow us to just fly, move clouds, make spells or just take items in fore hooves.” Alicorn glued the kettle to her leg demonstratively, lifted and put back.” It also stealthily protects all of us from various external inputs. Magic of every pony is unique and one of a kind, and it perceives any other magic, except for the original “rude” energy, taking it as an invasion, which should be driven away. And if in the case of insignificant difference in strength between ponies it is hardly noticeable, in the case, when the mare is an alicorn, it becomes almost an unsolvable problem: the stallion's seed, carrying his magic, is naturally perceived by her magic as a threat, and the response to this threat inevitably destroys all life in the seed along with the alien energy, turning it into just a dead liquid - no more.” Interesting things... No wonder, that you can count alicorns with hooves of one pony. I am curious - where Cadence came from then?... She turned into? “It seems, that alicorns are sterile because of this indirect cause? And after so many years you couldn't think of anything to solve it?” I had a doubt. “O, I and Luna had been trying for decades, when we weren't desperate yet!” Tia chuckled sadly. “Poisons, magical influence, attempts to find a stallion-alicorn... Once upon a time we were seriously discussing an idea of turning one of us into this very stallion!” Hell yeah... “And how it went? Any result?” I leaned forward mindlessly. “On practice - no. Because of the need to affect an intelligent living creature with the condition not to cause it any harm, there comes a very costly transformation, which, in the case with an alicorn, as it turned out, becomes impossible at all because of the higher resistance of our race. Maximum of it - transformation of a mare-pegasus into a stallion for approximately thirty-thirty two hours. We didn't succeed in turning each other.” “O-okay...” Damn it! I just started to wonder... “Actually, I think it's good that nothing worked out.” Princess suddenly smiled. “It’s unknown how this transformation could affect the breed, and neither I nor Luna were wishing to become stallions” Yeah, I can understand it... “One way or another, but all attempts to find a stallion with right amount of powerful magic gave no results. But honestly, now I have one guess how to get over this problem with so fatal inequality in power... It’s strange that this thought didn't occur before.” Tia looked at me thoughtfully. “What if we don't strengthen the stallion, but decrease the mare’s powers until the state that you and Luna are in? I think, that the possibility of a successful impregnation is rather high in that case...” I feel a lump in the throat. Oh, fuck... This is why she needed weakened Nightmare... It’s... I’m... “Of course I cannot decide such a serious choice for you and impose it.” Princess continued just as if nothing happened. “Just know that you have the rarest possibility now - give a new beautiful life to this world. Surely this possibility wouldn't be gone at all in the future, but the chances of a success would be, alas, very small...” A-a... Yeah... I looked at the table in prostration, hearing my heart’s roar. Damned horse! I almost turned gray... “Nightmare, something happened?” Tia noticed my state. “No, it's nothing.” I forced a mimic of smile onto my face. “I think I got a little bit excited and went too far.” Celestia smiled ruefully. “I guess it sounded like I offer you to swiftly grab the first available stallion and heartily engage in propagation with him. I didn't mean that. Sorry.” “That's... Fine.” I swallowed the lump in my throat with force. “It’s hard to see how generations change and death comes to relatives, friends and others for centuries...” Tia dropped quietly after a short uncomfortable pause. “Only another alicorn could enter into my longevity, but until recent times I was the only one from our race... There could not be - and must not be - a lot of alicorns, but I dream of days when there would be at least a dozen of us...” Princess was telling it quietly, like only for herself. A feeling was in the air, that what she said was not for my ears, something very personal. “At least you could share your loneliness with mortals.” I galled Celestia with some disgust, but then called down: it's not her fault and not her fault alone. In the end, she's a ruler of a country, and have to defend it, what she did. Nightmare did her duty, fighting Tia, Tia - hers, protecting Equestria. But Luna betrayed both of us. You’re very risking, allowing her close to you, Celly - a lot more, than allowing me to you... “To relatives?” I worked out the courage to mention an odd word. “My daughter was a unicorn.” Thoughtfully, Tia answered on my perplexity with a sad smile. “She passed away in eighty three. Almost before my eyes...” I nodded slowly, trying to digest information. “From the other side, nowadays her - and thereof my - direct descendant lives, Prince Blueblood, in some manner continuing the deed of my dear Sunbeam, remembering and respecting her, as his own ancient ancestor... It’s egoistic to wish her return just because of your own desire, right?” Tia smiled weakly. “She lived a good life. And sometimes I find myself, that I envy her...” Princess was in deep thought, gazing into nowhere. ... I slowly walked backed and forth and regretted, that I don't have arms to put behind my back. And the double clopping sound of steps barely resembled the usual thundering of thin bottoms of heavy boots on polished concrete. Making another circle, I cringed: metronome, made of steps, which always helped to think, was hopelessly broken: “Clop-clop, clop-clop, clop-clop, clop-clop” rather breaks train of thought with its unusual rhythm, what helped. Sniffing angrily, I stopped. Yeah, Tia made me nervous... I can understand her worriment about small number of alicorns, but she told about it in such a way! I shivered nervously. I can understand her, of course, but participate in this situation's solution is not my desire - udder between the legs is disincentivise a bit... And heck with all of this! I should think less about it - for my own good... After that, we talked about magic and flights. Tia said, that feeling things with telekinesis is good and right: its sensitivity in normal state almost catches up the hooves, and the fact, that I barely feel with it, will go away after a time, if my and Luna's diagnosis are similar. However, with its magic sensitivity back, it would be more painful to scrabble at something with it. Asking, if the horn was a natural weapon of ancient unicorns - sharp, long - I learned one interesting fact from Celestia: it was and, what’s more interesting, it still is. With a force of will you can block the flow of magic in horn - you wouldn't be able to make spells, but the sensitivity will be almost next to none, so it'd allow you to realistically spike it into someone: horn, after all, is a bone, and a very solid one. On the other hand, when magic is actively used, sensitivity increases noticeably, and a blow to the horn at such a moment can, if strong enough, even lead to loss of consciousness from painful shock. Then the conversation smoothly flowed into flight's topic, but we hadn't time to talk about it: Tia looked at the clock and with wide-eyes swiftly brought me to the taumalogist. It turned out that the castle had its own hospital, staffed with the latest magic instruments, but, as I understood it, without permanent staff: the right specialist, certified as worthy to treat the royal person, was called here as needed from the main place of work. And this specialist, as it seems, has already come, but we forgot our time over talk a bit... Anyway, Princess teleported us both to the medical wing and, leaving me to pace the waiting room, went to put her doc wise. O, here she is, I guess: I can hear approaching sound of steps behind the door. “Sorry for the hold back, Nightmare.” Princess went to me. “Unfortunately, I haven't had opportunity to tell you everything beforehand. Come, you’re being awaited.” Tia stepped back, giving me way. “I have to go now, but I’ll come back for you, when you're done.” “Listen, what this secrecy’s purpose is all about?” I wanted to lean forward, but stopped mid-step from the question in my mind. “I think, that half of the castle knows about my presence. Guards, attendants... Ponyville...” “Attendants?” Tia raised a brow. Some foretaste blinked in her gaze. “Attendants have never seen you.” “But the pillow under my head was?...” I didn't finish, feeling my face turning red under Celestia's victorious stare. Realization stood before eyes. “O, forget it.” Alicorn giggled. “It wasn't hard for me.” “It was for me.” I grumbled, flipping mane onto my face to cover behind it. “Why did you do that?” “It wasn't comfortable without a pillow for you.” Tia became confused a bit in answer. “And there’s no one to take care of you except me.” “I would ask why do you need to take care of me and how it stems from “just a second chance”, but...” I waved off hopelessly. I would never understand this horse... “You better tell me - how this secrecy goes together with Ponyville?” “Citizens of Canterlot are too important to be interested in some rumors from a province.” Princess smiled sadly. “Furthermore, Ponyville is situated near the Everfree forest and known as a place rich for different events... Anecdotes are just part of the routine, like: “A huge hungry dragon has attacked Ponyville, but locals didn't notice that during doing their routine.” or “The most destructive flood for two centuries, that crushed Ponyville, was awarded in the local newspaper with a sketch in the “humor” category”. So only a few believes in rumors from there, and if Ponyville doesn't set afire on the horizon, and there’s no refugees from there, thus the Mare in the Moon in the town is just a rumor.” “I got it.” I chuckled at the Princess’ anecdotes. I liked the last one. “Okay, I’m going.” “Will see you soon.” Celestia nodded and, tiding my mane with a playful smile, teleported. I felt my blush. Why she?! What I? Damn it, she did it on purpose! On the God-damn purpose!!! Sniffing angrily, I opened the door and came in. A snicker was heard behind my back. Just a feeling, I guess... ... Entering the already known guest chambers, I fell onto the bed with a moan and rolled over on back, hanging head from an edge, unfolding wings, leaving half-bent legs to stick out upward. Finally, evening! Head was boiling, horn was tingling, a phantom feeling of slight tickle from diagnostic spells was running across my whole body. This doctress exhausted me as hell... Cocky bastard. How did she even dare?! There can be only one cocky bastard - me! Thought caused a chuckle. But the mare was, if we put jokes aside, not a gift. It’s good that the most of the time her brain had an understanding to talk trash with others, not personally me: she was afraid of me a bit and tried to demonstrate straight professionalism towards me. But she wasn't shy to talk about others, being a fearful example of mix of arrogance and egotism with talkativeness. “What? Using magic less”? It’s unfortunate that you didn't make even an effort to remember the precise diagnosis, but with this one, so-called, “recommendation” I can surely state, that it’s as far from the reality as the primitive country craftsman, which stated it, from a real doctor, like me! Even a slightly trained medpony must see just from one look, that it's a rare isolated situation of atypical general magical insufficiency!” And something like that, stopping only from time to time. It was bearable, until this gossip got used and stopped being afraid of me, quickly losing all her straight professionalism... My patience lasted until the doctor, finally becoming bold enough, began to comment me and even make some plans! Aloud!!! She was like “Yeah, you're not the most handsome out there, but if you show an extraordinary effort, then my silly brother, maybe, will pay attention to you. And union with a person close to Princess herself can positively influence your disastrous reputation...” But, when my shoe flew before her nose right into a door of a massive wooden cabinet, forcing the cabinet to reel with clash and leaving a solid dint in the wood, she understood her mistake and, shivering under my furious gaze, finally shut up. After that, I didn't hear unnecessary words from her for the whole evening. Regrets as well. It seems that it’s “infra dig” for her. In any case, it didn't worsen my mood: eyes, full of dread on the pale face, quickly restored it until its common, kindhearted state. Ending her job, Hubris reported to Celestia, not looking in my direction demonstratively, and hastened to leave presence of a “criminal with gross reputation”, and I, after discussing everything with Tia shortly, was teleported to the already known room with regrets about the behavior of the subjects and wishes of good rest. About the diagnosis and its consequences: for me it barely changed, except for the harsh opposite recommendation - use magic frequently, but not complex one to not overburn. Basically, half the evening I was doing right that: carrying different weights with telekinesis, putting my energy into crystals and drawing it back, lightening and extinguishing magical fireflies and others. Why - only Celestia knows, offended taumalogist didn't say a lot about it, just handed over the report to Princess, and I didn't insist, thinking about it just only as a training, that it's not extra in my conditions. Well, of course, this one was hell of a day... In the morning I thought, that I won't make it, but no, I did it. I will suffer more for a while Dinner with Tia went interesting as well. Then this doctress... Stupid a bit... Exhausted me, damn it, with different exercises, but it’s only good for me. At least extinguishing and lightening of the local magical bulbs are not a challenge for me anymore - I have been practicing a lot. Chuckling shortly, dragged energy from a lamp by the worked out effort, leaving the room in darkness. Okay. It's time to sleep. I spreadeagled on the bed leisurely, getting comfortable, and shut my eyes... 26. A Night, A Stallion, A MareI wasn't allowed to fall asleep: it seems, that when I just closed my eyelids, I was brought back into reality with sonorous clopping sound in the corridor. And there were obviously more than four hooves... And I expected that they will just pass by! Door in my room was enveloped in a pale turquoise aura and opened soundlessly, letting inside two ponies, silhouettes of which were clearly seen for me in the darkness. Muffled sounds of unknown persons on the carpet washed away the remnants of dream, forcing to wake up altogether. Closing in, I also narrowed my eyes just in case, camouflaging my glowing eyes with eyelids - the incomers surely see worse in the darkness, moving almost by the feel, but my “headlights” were an easy object to notice. Who are you? What do you need? I hope you're not after my head? Door in the room closed in the same soundless way, only lock's click was audible. “Now, no one will disturb us here.” Mare promised with a half-whisper cheerfully. “E-ehm... Maybe, maybe...” Stallion surely wasn't on the same line of enthusiasm. “I just said, that Princess Celestia, just for your information, forbade everyone to attend this corridor And I think that everyone means you as well!” Pony's voice started to whisper. “Oh, Shiny! Auntie always repeats me something like: “Cadenza, you're a Princess! You must make decisions yourself!” and stuff...” It seems, that Princess Cadence imitated Tia. Intere-esting... “And if I’m so important and powerful Princess, then it means that I can lift the ban for both of us, isn't?” “We-ell... Princess Celestia wouldn't be happy about that, I think...” Shining had a doubt once again. “Come on.” Mare giggled. “What can be so scary and forbidden in the guest wing of the castle? Better come here, my Lieutenant!” Sounds afterwards definitively meant a passionate kiss. I thoughtfully bid a lip, thinking how to play a joke on this couple. Unfortunately, Shining already saw me, thus there wouldn't be a shocking effect... “O-of... Ph-ew...” “You must train more, dear.” The young Princess taunted the breathless guard, when they stepped back from each other. “Am I, phew, against it?” He chuckled in answer. “You’ll see, sometime, I’ll be like you in this field.” “Nope, you won't!” Mare stated cheerfully. “I’ll work to improve myself, m?” “Yeah...” Stallion's voice lost its happiness altogether. “There’s no way to win over an immortal...” “Oh, Shiny!...” “I know! But I cannot stop myself from thinking about it, Cadence! You're already twice my age. But it's hard to argue - still not bad...” He chuckled nervously. A clear sound of blow against an empty skull by a strong hoof sounded in the darkness. I chuckled in the pillow. “Ouch!” “Fool!” Mare’s silhouette hugged stallion's one. “Let the auntie talk about immortal's fate, everlasting loneliness and more as much as she wants! I’d rather live with sorrow about the deceased than without love, Shiny. Forget this conversation and stop to feel sorry for me! Everything will be fine.” “As you say, Your Excellency.” “Fool.” Mare sighed again. “I love you, Shining.” “I love you too, Cadence.” “Come here...” The sounds of passionate kissing were heard again in the darkness, and the couple themselves seemed to slowly start shifting towards the bed. MY bed! I thought of waiting for them here and taking an active part in the process for a moment, bringing elements of fear and surprise into it, but the smiling mare-gynecologist and her phrase about "an extraordinary effort" shook me, and Celestia, who urged me to find a stallion and have children, destroyed my desire to make such a joke. What if they will take it literally? Shining will get in the back, and Cadence will hold with her magic... It'll be like the joke, that, "a well-fixed lesbian is no different from a straight woman"... Fuck this! I shook head energetically, getting rid of the annoying idea, which, to my great unfortunate, as it seems, was a body’s cup of tea - I couldn't tightly press slightly numb wings to the hips, and the tail stood invitingly upright. Damn it? Seven by eight? Forty two. Nine by six? Fifty four. Sixteen by thirteen? M-m... Two hundred and eight! Oh, damn... Freedom of thought is not for me... But it's time to break the lovebirds, they have a few steps left... “Maybe you’ll kiss me as well if you already paid a visit?” I asked the still passionately kissing couple loudly. A-a, didn't hold myself... Ooh! With loud and scared neigh, visitors recoiled back from the bed. Area around Shining was immediately filled with a lilac defensive shield, lightening the room with a pale pink light. Cadence managed to “successfully” recoil right onto a table and spreadeagled on the floor with rattle and rustle of the destroyed piece of furniture . “O-ouch!” “Cadence! And who are you?!” Lieutenant reacted immediately. “But Shiny-y!” I added offended shadows to my voice. “Don't you remember me? Our walks around the castle, how you were escorting me afterwards... And now you come into my room... With another! How dare you?!” Do not laugh! DO NOT LAUGH!!! “O-oh... Shining?” Alicorn, rising up from the remnants of the table, gave me a sheepish look. “Who the hell... NIGHTMARE MOON?!” Scarcely finding my glowing eyes in the darkness through the radiance of his defense, stallion stepped back sharply, stumbled and didn't catch the balance and comically sat on the croup, causing a chuckle from me. I rolled over to an edge of the bed and, getting on to feet with a conjoint move, slowly moved towards the unicorn, loudly stomping with every step on purpose. It wasn't great because of the carpet. “You thought Celestia blocked access to here just because, my little ponies?” “Shining, who is she?” Princess’ voice shivered. Simultaneously, Cadence turned on a firefly at the end of her horn, driving away the half-light of the room. “What does it matter who am I?” I answered theatrically with a humble tone instead of the hesitated stallion, turning around and stepping into the circle of light with a wide smile, demonstrating my set of fangs to the Princess of love. Mare, groaning quietly, stepped back. Firefly on her horn flashed dangerously for a moment and almost died out. “It’s way more interesting who are you, alicorn?” I looked in her eyes throughly, closing in slowly. I think Nightmare would have asked this question for sure. “Stop, Nightmare Moon!” Finally recovered Lieutenant Armor stood between us swiftly, he's still encircled by the sphere of the shield. I came point-blank, hanging over the stallion. Shining shivered a bit and visibly tensed up, but didn't step back. I lifted a leg and poke a hoof into the shield - feeling, like it's made of thick rubber, which is supported by a layer of water inside. Elastic, barely denting. Chuckling, I moved around, gazing at Cadence demonstratively. “Nightmare...” Guard knitted brows together menacingly, blocking my way. “Are you afraid?” I chuckled, making a step back. “Or it is because my pictures are made more scary on the textbooks’ pages on purpose?” “Pictures... On the textbooks’ pages?...” Cadence became confused. “Haven’t you ever heard about the Mare in the Moon?” I smiled widely again. “A dark spirit, who tried to enslave Equestria and has been stopped only because of the Princess Luna's sacrifice?” Alicorn panted shyly, laying ears back with fear. “O yeah. Cute fairy tale, I like it.” I laughed quietly, slowly going around Shining, which is strained as a string, and cutting off the way to the door, on which the stallion looked from time to time. Cadence, shivering from my laughter, moved in the opposite way, trying to hide from me behind the guard's back. “Would you say Princess Celestia has been lying to ponies for years and that's not what happened at all?” Sniffing angrily, Armor scowled. “That’s not what happened at all.” Nodding, I returned an echo. “And Princess had to apologize to me for that. For the fact, that this lie, created for the greater good, turned out to be a harmful one to someone.” “You're saying such a slander right now...” Stallion narrowed eyes unkindly. “Shining, wait!” Alicorn almost ordered him. “But...” “Shining!” Lieutenant, looking at me with disgust wordlessly, recoiled back half a step. “If “that’s not what happened” - what happened then?” Cadence looked at me severely. “Ask Celestia I think she’ll tell it to you, to an alicorn.” I lifted my fore leg and started to examine my hoof demonstratively. It’s so good to see in such half-light... “And you?” “What “you”?” “Tell it?” “No.” “Why?” Scowling, the mare leaned forward. “Why?” I put the leg back onto the carpet. “To hear some “it’s impossible!”, “it's not true!”, “you're lying!” and etcetera from you? Not interested.” “You doubt your own words so much?” Shining chuckled, earning a dissatisfied gaze from Cadence. “As you see, I don't even have to say words for them to be recognized as a hundred percent lie.” I commented, addressing to the alicorn. “No matter what I tell - it's always in doubt.” “Usually Shining isn't like this.” Mare grumbled, looking at the guard with a dissatisfied look once again. “Like what?” He chuckled nervously. “Cadence, do you know, that Nightmare lives together with my sister, whom Princess ordered to accommodate her? I can't sleep if a letter from Twiley delays even for a day! Actually, I have to be silent, of course... But if you've met personally already...” “A-a...” Princess looked at the stallion with a distrustful and somewhat lost gaze. “You can fear no more for your sister, Lieutenant.” I emphasized a smile. “Maybe we’re not in tune in everything with Twilight, but she has done a lot for me - and I’m not going to pay off her good with evil.” Shining chuckled nervously, twisting eyes at me. “By the way, who is your companion?” “Her Excellency Princess Mi Amore Cadenza.” Unicorn said reluctantly, looking at me with a doubt. Excellency? Not Highness? Strange... “Cadence is fine.” Alicorn woke up, earning a quiet displeased sniff from Shining. “Nightmare Moon.” I decided to not step back from the ritual. “Forgive us for this invasion, Nightmare Moon.” Going round the shield and coming up to the stallion, Cadence bowed her head ceremonially. “We didn't want to disturb your rest.” Familiar flair... Celestia, is it you? “Yeah, stumbled into my room entirely by accident in a closed for visitors castle's wing. “Just lost their way.” I nodded seriously in an exaggerated way. Shining, finally extinguishing his shield, casted a speaking gaze at his companion, in which one could read dissatisfied leniency: “I told you!” “It would have been okay if you had just woken me up, but you refused to kiss as well.” I shook my head accusingly, earning two nervous gazes. “So you have to earn your forgiveness...” I paused on the word, looking, how gazes become very stressful. I wanted to crack a joke about “leave your stallion to me and you can go, I’ll return him tomorrow”, but... Either I’ll get a blow right into my head, or get the wanted - and it’s hard to say what's worse... Heck with these jokes! But I couldn't erase a smirk from my face. “Tell me: where another alicorn in Equestria came from?” Couple sighed with relief under my acid-tongued giggle. “Well...” Cadence hesitated. “I've become an alicorn when I was fourteen... ... “Intere-esting...” I prolonged, when the mare went silent. At the start I had to pull information from her almost with pliers, but then she fell into the talk and told a lot of interesting stuff. Her story is truly unusual. Didn't except that. Especially didn't except, that the brand-new Princess will have earned her horn for making peace between Shining and Twilight’s parents! Yeah...What a small world. Opposites attract, as they say. I guess that's how quiet, homely Night Light, who prefers the tranquility of the library and slimness in formulas, and the fidgety Twilight Velvet, who loves adventure and adrenaline in her blood, came together. A burning love, a wedding after three months, and, very soon, a harsh kick of reality, which quickly showed, that family life is much more complicated than moonlight walks and serenades under the windows. Opposites attracted, but, as it turned out, they didn't get along very well beneath the same roof for any length of time. Quarrels, brawls, tears, runs to the parents for support... The relationship was going downhill, and it would have gone there soon if they hadn't gotten into a fight right in the street, where Cadence had bumped into them. She somehow managed to find words to calm them down, brought the news, that Velvet was pregnant, scolded the stunned couple, and, after receiving the cutie mark, left in prostration, giving a subdued promise to come tomorrow and continue the conversation. Notably, information about Velvet’s pregnancy wasn't known for Cadence as well, only making an assumption, that this skill is a part of her talent, declaring itself in that moment. In any case, she saved the family from disintegration, becoming a close friend along the way, ten months later, Cadence caught Celestia's eye and passed the Prominence, and three weeks later, Shining was born. Much to the alicorn’s chagrin - and to Armor's quiet relief - she hadn't time to babysit her future husband: Tia, in the context of Nightmare Moon's returning, was heavily concerned about preparing an alternative to herself - “just in case” - and Cadence's days were swiftly guided to the funny days of express-training of a new ruler. Learning magic, intense training of the school subjects for passing it earlier, etiquette... Then - special course in the School for Gifted Unicorns, Canterlot Academy of Management and Personnel, practice on different positions and different cities... Anyways, she had seen Shining literally a few times during this period for mere moments. Later, when Tia realized, that she was overdoing it again, and after a long heartfelt apology, she reduced the burden on her niece, who was by that time thoroughly overwrought and disturbed, and who was no longer able to see Shining, because he had been sent to the Cadet Corps for training. But throughly babysat his little sister - Twilight. And when Armor arrived home in the new uniform of the Lieutenant of the Guard after graduation, alicorn could not resist the statuesque handsome officer - the very next day gave him a bouquet of roses from the castle garden... On this moment, wondering about the ups and downs of fate in thought, I, with mutual wishes of a good night, said goodbye to the already sleepy couple. Honestly, I was almost the same and was dropping off... Nevertheless, it was an interesting acquaintance. And yeah... Bade farewell... Not ba-ad... As soon as my head touched the pillow, I immediately fell into darkness. *** “With morning's soft light on the walls of the ancient town! Equestrian land meets a gorgeous dawn!” I, of course, lied a bit about morning and dawn: it was already a little past noon. But the mood was good, Sun shined, and after my escort out of the night visitors, I slept just great. So after stretching a little and washing my face, I was now cheerfully trying to make the table, on which Cadence had landed, resemble its original shape. Alas, tabletop, that is broken in half, is not going to be even barely patched up during absence of even glue. Well, at least it stands by itself, if one doesn't touch it... My work was disturbed by a long-expected clop of shoes in the hallway and following tap on the door. “Hello, Nightmare.” Entering, the Princess of the Sun smiled. “Hello. Come in, feel at home!” I smiled in answer. Tia giggled, covering herself behind a wing's tip. “I’m glad that you're in good mood, Nightmare.” “Yeah, thanks for the yesterday’s conversation.” I nodded. “It helped. Seems that I want to live again.” “I’m happy, that it wasn't only disgust for you, but turned out to be useful. And also... I must apologize.” Celestia sighed. “For what?” I looked at her a little bit dazedly. “In yesterday’s talk I used the spell of truth to feel your lie. It was very tactlessly and bad from for my own part. Forgive me this decision, please. But, unfortunately, I hadn't come up with something better.” I looked somewhere through the alicorn in prostration. Is she even sane?! “Princess.” I tackled the stupor after a few seconds. “Do you understand, that you blab strategical information to a potential enemy, don’t you? Why?!” I looked at her pitifully. “Stop, wait... You're fooling me, right?” Says "spell”, but in reality just an empath. I will think, that now, right now, this conversation is not the most important, she didn't turn it on and doesn't feel it, but she will read me and make conclusions... Or not? I’ll get a brain dislocation with her... But maybe... “I already said, that I don't think of you as my enemy!” Tia sighed. “Didn't you think, that I’m cozying up to you and turn the Elements on my side to overthrow you afterwards or something? How do you know if I’m going to do that or not?” “As I already asked you: don't think of yourself worse than you are in reality, Nightmare. I think you wouldn't do that.” Nice logic. “But if you're wrong - what then?” “Do you suggest suspect you in every possible crime?” Gazing tiredly, Tia answered with a question on the question. “Then not only you: I can suspect Twilight as well, and Fancy, and Blueblood... Anyone! And, the most important - did suspicion and distrust made someone's day? Sombra, some time ago, started with not trusting anyone and seeing a coming plot in every shadow. And what this poor unicorn came to, his country and his people?” “Sometime ago I unfailingly trusted Luna. And how did it end for me?” I insisted gloomily. “The more reason why I must trust you. You know more than anyone else, how does it feel, when your trust is betrayed” A-a... Princess’ conclusion was surprising for me, and, most importantly, there’s nothing I can put against it. She understood it earlier than I did: stabbing in the back, like Luna, is beyond my strength. It’s... I don't even know. I wasn't going to, of course, but how did she know? And she... Like that. “Well... It doesn't lack some logic.” I admitted defeat in the debate. “I hope, that sometime this trust will be mutual.” Celestia smiled fleetly. “By the way, I have a small gift for you.” “Hm?” I raised brows. “Here, take it.” Tia extracted two golden plates from under her wing, which evoked associations with credit cards, and handed them to me. “Grand Galloping Gala” - was written on the adverse by a pretentious font. Invitations. Two of them. For me, Nightmare Moon. She's gone nuts... “What is it?” Not hastening to accept the offered, I asked in an indifferent tone. I don't have a clue if Nightmare knew about this holiday... “Invitations for the traditional annual grandiose ball in honor of the Canterlot’s founding, which will be held on the twelfth of May, next year. To you and someone, whom you'd like to go with.” “And why?” Not changing tones, I asked. “I understand it as an aristocratic mob, and I don't like this audience, to say the least. You know, what would be, if someone in his infinitive wisdom hurt my feelings? And they certainly will: intrigues, rumors, and, most importantly, a sea of arrogance: someone certainly would like to acidly and tauntingly discuss a wrongly chosen spoon... Are you sure you need this? In the end, why do I need it?” “You need it for going out into the world and make your appearance clear. I guess, that your reputation would be a little bit better - and I hope, that you would try do the same.” Tia looked in my eyes meaningfully. “Because I also hope, that you wouldn't threaten someone just because of such a small thing, let alone use force. And for me... To make the last step to change the situation, in which I, unfortunately, turned your name against you, and to shake things up a bit, and...” Tia smiled coyly. “To look at you, clothed in a beautiful dress, of course.” “What?! What is this for?!” I looked at the alicorn in shock. “Thought I'd mention it just in case, so you don't show up there in armor either. Twilight said, that you wear it almost constantly, often even in house! Why?” I opened mouth to insist and froze, looking at one point. Quite so - why?! After all, if I recall, right after Tia handed me the armor, I put it on without even thinking if I needed it at all or why I needed it. I could... I don’t know... I could have refused such a gift, for example. Or ask to have it packed to take it, so to speak, in hand luggage. But no - I haven't even had such a thought in the past, and I don't have it now, when the armor is put on automatically after awakening. And the funniest thing - I can put it on, have a breakfast, and then take it off to go to a training, where it would bother me! Maybe to avoid the feeling, that you walk nude - ponies don't use clothes? But no! I don't have this feeling! Strangely enough, but it appears only when the cover is off, before that you feel your body completely dressed! Then there's only one word - habit. Nightmare Moon's habit. Wear armor, whether you need it or not. If that's the case - what habits did I pick up, which I don’t know about? I shivered uncomfortably. I’m changing. And I don't even notice that. I’m losing my old self - and don't feel it until it’s too obvious. How much time do I have until the complete transformation into a mare-pony even in my own thoughts? Will I even notice the moment when it happens? When “Nightmare Moon” would stop to be a pseudonym for me and become a name? My name? “Nightmare, is everything alright?” Princess’ voice brought me back. “I have no clue, honestly.” I shook my head. “You... You asked a very interesting question. I have food for thought.” “Excuse me if I forced you to remember something...” Celestia drooped. “No, everything is fine... In this context at least. Just some small inner inconsistencies, ignore it.” I interrupted the alicorn, feigning plain kindness on my face. “If you need help, you can always address me.” Tia assured, looking at me for a few seconds with care. “Thanks.” I nodded in answer. “Well...” Princess broke the silence in the air after a long pause. “What's your answer about invitations?” So... One for Flutty, no doubt. Pinkie, Rarity... Twilight would go in either case... Do I need one for myself? Honestly, this kind of hanging out is not I’m interested in at all. I don't give a heck about nobles with their intrigues, I barely can dance even when walking on two legs, what would happen on four... Pros? I can have a good meal, listen to beautiful music, look at the air show and fireworks. I can, after all, “make merry carelessly and funnily” by “smashing services and burning drying barns” - I have the eligible reputation. But Tia wouldn't like it. Well... Maybe she would: she was fine with the party’s mayhem in the canon - just sat behind a table and laughed. Well, okay, let’s go, and then we’ll see. Store is no sore, and it's not that hard to gift it to someone or just throw it away. “Give me four - and that's a deal.” Making decision, I chuckled. “A-a...” Celestia confused for a moment. “Why?” “Even though I can count all my good buddies by hooves - and there would be some extra left - but I’m not going to choose between them.” I shrugged with wings. “So four or nothing. If it’s such a problem - fine, give me three.” “Hm...” Princess paused to think. “It’s solvable. And forgive my inquisitiveness, why are you ready to take at least three? Not sure in relationships with someone from your fiends?” “I’m sure in every of my friends.” I chuckled again. “I’ll give them to the others and go without it. Your guards aren't suicides, are they? They won't dare to stop.” Smirk turned into a mischievous grin by itself. “Nightmare...” Scowling, Tia looked at me harshly. “What? I’m interested in testing your warriors’ bravery and dedication and their limits.” I brought back a rather neutral expression on my face. “I have a funny feeling, that if you don't order them to not let me in at all costs, I won't even have to threaten them.” “But what if they won't let you in?” Princess narrowed her eyes. “I hope you wouldn't use force or threats, would you?” “Need like a hole in the head... Would go back to Ponyville, eat and go to bed.” I moved with a wing phlegmatically. “I wouldn’t lose anything. Such an aristocratic meeting is just not interesting for me, and if I’m going there - I’m going there not for myself. For that matter - what about Luna?” The feeling, that had been looming somewhere on the periphery of my consciousness since Tia had extended the invitations to me, finally took shape in a concrete question. “She...” Saddened alicorn unexpectedly hesitated. “I hope I can persuade her to honor the holiday with her presence after all.” “And I also expect, that in such a time you will change your anger towards my poor sister into mercy, and, if not to forgive her, at least temporarily agree to extinguish your enmity towards her..." Celestia sighed with a forced smile. Yeah, of course... You know, it's better for everyone if this blue nag wouldn't appear on the occasion. And if she does not survive until the celebration, there would be beautiful wakes of the blue one... With fireworks, heh. Sooner or later, Luna, you’ll pay for everything, fucking scumbag. For everything! For every fucking “beautiful” day in absolute loneliness in that goddamn hell! “Nightmare!” I shivered from Tia's worried hollo. “A? Yeah... Everything is fine. I just took a thought...” Shaking head, I looked around slowly. “You had such a face... And you scraped your teeth with such a force...” Princess, I think, even shivered. “What happened?” “A-a. Happens sometimes. “Because of the “happy” memories.” Waving away lamely, I feigned something like a smile. “In a nutshell, three-four invitations, if you really want to see me for some reason - and let’s give the topic a rest. “Fine.” Princess looked at me with some strange gaze after a few seconds and sighed quietly. “Sorry, I resembled you something unpleasant, while not even wanting to do it... I didn't want to sadden you.” “It’s nothing. Sometimes useful. It resembles... Something important.” I shook head indefinably. “May I know what?” Tia lifted her head. “And yeah, I wanted to invite you on a breakfast and put in touch with a beautiful pony at the same time. Let’s go?” I nodded positively. Alicorn, smiling for a moment, put the invitations onto the table, which, under her dazed stare, scraped and tilted from the weight. Celestia looked at me meaningfully, and I chuckled, shrugging with wings in answer like: “It just happened, there’s nothing to do with that”. Princess, chuckling distrustfully and shaking head, turned around and went into the hallway, encouraging me to follow her with a gesture. “By foot? Not teleportation?” I was surprised, catching up to her. “I asked to set the table in the small dining room of this closed - for the time being - wing. Make a little walk, don't you mind? And after all, I thought, that teleportation would be unpleasant for you.” “Fine. Let’s go.” I nodded shortly, and we, accompanied by the booming echo of the empty hallway, started to clatter with shoes on the polished stone. She's again... “Would be unpleasant for you”... She cannot be worried about this, can she?! A-a, God damn it... Although... Maybe she wanted to ask something?... “Would you tell it?” Tia suddenly looked at me after a dozen of steps “What?” I didn't understand. “About the important things that bad memories recall to you.” She refreshed my memory. Yeah, she asked about it, didn't she... Important things? About Nightmare, being betrayed and left behind to die on the Moon. And I, in a manner, owe her for my second chance in her body. “No.” “It’s better if I wouldn't.” I shook my head. “Sorry.” “I understand.” Tia nodded slowly. We reached the double door in silence. Princess, opening it, stepped back, nodding to me invitingly and offering to enter first. I hope it’s not because of a landmine or because of that hatch, that was made specially for me... Entering, I, with some surprise, met the purple eyes’ gaze of the known pink alicorn, already sitting behind a table. Her gaze was beggarly-frightened. “Don't tell her anything! Be surprised of me! We haven't met!!!” Was clearly seen in the “soul's mirrors” of one loving mare. I chuckled, narrowing my eyes. “But maybe?...” Cadence shook head in panic hardly visible. “No! Please!” An eyebrow arched in feigned thoughtfulness. “What's in it for me?” Her eyebrows are up and her ears are slightly drooping. “Everything you want! Beg you - be wordless!” I sigh quietly in a demonstrative tone. “Fi-ine, alright, be it.” Wide happy smile, straight pink ears. “Yay! Thanks!” “Nightmare Moon, let me show you my niece, Her Excellency Princess Mi Amore Cadenza.” Celestia demonstrated the known alicorn to me ceremonially and with a proud smile,. “Alicorn?!” I feigned a surprise and narrowed eyes like a predator, going round the table with a shark's speed and coming closer to a bit lost Cadence. “If I remember correctly, you were complaining, that pregnancy is a seldom thing, not enough of alicorns... And she’s here? She's a clueless kid, she is not even a hundred years old!” Not holding myself, I taunted the Princess of love. “From where?” “Clueless kid” stared daggers at me from under the puckered brows and turned sulky. I barely held the coming out laughter. “She wasn't born as an alicorn, Nightmare.” Tia came closer, looking at the dummy up niece with slight worriment. “But her deeds opened such a way for her...” Celestia briefly paraphrased what I’ve already known from Cadence, which gradually sided with us and added some details from herself, and she, in my opinion, played her first meeting with me quite convincingly. “So, there are dozens of potential alicorns, walking somewhere in the country, but you still sigh about scarce amount of our race?...” I scratched my brow thoughtfully with a shoe, hearing the mares’ tale and putting an empty salad bowl aside at the same time. I hate local breakfasts - green only... “Dozens, Nightmare. But Equestria is not the same as it was a thousand years ago: there are millions of pony, not tens of thousands as back then. I look for. Cadence do it as well. And I hope, that you would not refuse to help us when you're back to normal. But... It's not even a needle in a haystack - it's one concrete grain of sand on a beach. “I can only hope, that my quest will be successful sooner or later, but alas, I can't count on it.” Looking thoughtfully at her reflection in the polished side of the teapot, Celestia sighed wearily and drooped. “I guess so.” I agreed with her words. “Furthermore, if only two look for them, at the same time sparing most of the time to run the country... What about delegate authority? You can order unicorn to look for it... Or?...” I stopped, remembering the pink alicorn's story. “Alas. Whatever this... Initiation was, but unicorns are not able to find it, as the Cadence's medical examination experience showed, when she's only got her cutie mark.” Celestia confirmed my guess. “Moreover, I’m still not sure whether every alicorn can see it or this ability is a part of my own talent only...” “Well, you can leave the throne to someone... Another alicorn, one of the older ones who's around... to go into an exi... I mean, on wanderings, looking for ponies, ready to Ascend..." I suggested with the most thoughtful expression, but seeing Tia's elongated face, I couldn't stand it and laughed. The Princess of the Sun, after a few moments, suddenly joined. Cadence narrowed down to just a smile. “O, Nightmare!...” Celestia laughed one last time. “You don’t know my desire to pass down Equestria in someone's reliable hooves and go away in a far back-country, where I can live in silentness and calmness, not worrying about anything. But who can take care of my little ponies? Protect them from hunger, coldness, calamities, enemies? Who will be able to - and, most importantly, want to - do it day after day? Who will get through, won't destroy everything, that I have been creating for centuries? Yes, Equestria is not perfect, but it's still wonderful! No famine and wars, big epidemics are a thing of the past, poverty, that was a usual thing like three hundred years ago, almost vaporized as a fact as well! Unfortunately, there are still prisons, orphanages, ponies still sometimes die at the height of their powers from illnesses, natural disasters, accidents and even from predators. There’s still inequality, fault line, there are unhappy and poor ones... I haven't fixed everything in time. And some is even beyond my powers to be fixed... But I still happy to see Equestria in that way - because it seems, that only a short time ago, the country was filled more with sorrow and injustice, not with happiness and joy. And I don't have the right to let it go back to these times. So I wouldn't be able to sign away the cold and unwieldy throne to another Princess for a long time.” Celestia smiled with sadness. “I was merely joking.” I smiled awkwardly. I didn't anticipate such a red hot reaction. “And I was not.” White alicorn looked right at me. “Equestria is my life, Nightmare. And I will break sweat for it to prosper even more.” “It’s strange that I’m alive, then.” I chuckled. “You have to be very lucky to find even more dangerous threat to your ponies...” “But the fact of us, talking with each other calmly and peacefully for such a long time, says, that my decision is right, not your strange mania of depicting yourself as a threat to Equestria and as my enemy.” Tia interrupted me smoothly. “Though not now, but you can become a powerful ally of my country and... My friend.” Cautiously, with low-lying waiting, pink eyes of the Princess of the Sun looked at me. I shivered. It’s hard to not believe you, it's hard to not love you, you calmly and softly overcome my distrust to politicians generally and my personal to you... You just seem to be a good and kind pony... Or, maybe, you really are such a pony. And in this case I could consider it as happiness to call you my friend, but... Luna. You don't want to see what she's all about, do you. You had been missing your sister for so long - and this love is stronger than any logic. Will you believe me, when I... No, not now. So if Luna is alive - I can't call you my friend, Tia. Because I would not have the right to let you down, and I don't know if I will be able to... “Joking, right?” Making decision, I feigned a distrustful face markedly. “Of course, there can be everything in this world... But we - friends?! This... Was it tea in my cup?” I looked at my half-emptied bowl demonstratively . “Princess Celestia always treats feelings very responsible, Nightmare Moon.” Pink alicorn looked at me harshly. “She doesn't make jokes with these things. Are you alright, auntie?” Cadence turned to the senior Princess. “Yes. Thanks, Cadence. Honestly, I wasn't anticipating any other answer different from this context.” Tia smiled sadly. “Alas, Nightmare can hardly trust anyone...” I chuckled skeptically. You are not “anyone” - Princess, don't juggle it. “This is mostly the reason why I invited you to join our breakfast.” Celestia continued. “Unfortunately, Nightmare attends Canterlot rarely, but I hoped, that the Princess of love can help her with something: even if it's just a kind word in a letter. And with mere knowledge, that there’s one more pony, who doesn't think of her as a monster.” White alicorn smiled sadly. “I’ll be glad to support if I can.” Cadence nodded, looking at me. “I’m doing alright so far.” I moved with a wing. I don't know what she can help me with and why. And I don't know how to treat her as well. On one hand - it's another pair of Celestia's eyes and ears near me. On the other hand... Exactly, “another”. A pair more, a pair less... And Tia herself gives a very convincing impression of a sweet and kind pony, who, moreover, has no reason to do anything bad to me. Damn it. How long have I thought otherwise? This sunbutt cannot be not trusted, God damn it... ... “I hope your stay in Canterlot was not too onerous for you, Nightmare?” Tia addressed to me. She, I and Cadence strolled leisurely across the landing pad. The chariot was already ready, but, apparently, they didn't want to let me go without talking. As for the question... The memorable conversation with Tia really helped, I still felt empty and sad, but calm. In addition, I was enriched by several useful exercises in magic, an interesting and perhaps even useful introduction to Cadence, as well as four cards in gold - invitations to the Gala - and the injunction not to wear armor to the ball under any circumstances. It wasn't very clear how to treat Tia at the end of the day. She... fascinates. A friendly attitude, a pleasant soft voice, a polite manner of speech, a sense of humor... It was beginning to seem, that she wanted to become my friend, despite the absurdity of such a conclusion. Honestly, I wouldn't be against if she really is like that and doesn't play with loaded dice with me. But maybe... Nah. Or... A-a, I don't know, damn it... “Everything is fine.” Shaking head to get rid of the thoughts, I answered to stop the prolonged pause. “Really? Forgive my indelicacy, but what happened with the table in your chamber then?” Tia mused. Cadence lost her pace and looked at me in panic. A-a, sunny one thinks, that the table was a prey of hysterics, as it was with the pillow... “Fell onto it. By an accident.” Answering vaguely, I looked at the pink alicorn with a chuckle. “Not a big deal.” Celestia smiled and eased. Cadence exhaled quietly and emphasized a thankful nod in a barely visible manner. We were walking silently for a few seconds, clopping with shoes on the stone together and drawing gazes of a pair of pegasus-chariot drivers. “Say hello to Twilight from me, okay?” Cadence smiled a bit sadly. “I haven't see her for a while... Just can't get there.” Pink alicorn sighed. “Yeah...” I nodded, but got distracted and looked at Tia. “Twilight!” She exclaimed with me simultaneously. “I think I haven't sent invitations to her!” “Invitations to Gala?” Cadence specified rhetorically. “Send, please! She dreamed so much about it!” “Certainly. And won't forget anymore, I promise.” The Princess of the Day smiled. “Unfortunately, I have a conference right now, so I’ll do it a little bit later...” I thought for a second about telling her to send six at once, but quickly dismissed the idea: three ponies would get them from me, and Twilight shouldn't be deprived of a friendship lesson. Let things drift. “Alas, but I have to go. Nightmare, forgive me if this visit hasn’t left the best impressions.” Celestia looked at me. “Alas, my duty as a ruler sometimes obliges me to make not the most honest and correct decisions. I just hope you're not too offended by it.” Is it the truth spell she's so worried about, or the visit itself? A-a, I won't get it anyway. I tried already... Or maybe that her spell is not a spell, but a natural passive ability, m? This assumption made me feel a little uncomfortable again. “I am sorry, that this visit was in such a situation, but still, it was good to see you. Oh... Honestly - even a month ago I couldn't have thought about saying something like that about Nightmare Moon herself.” Tia chuckled, shaking her head. “It's all the more surprising now to say it from the heart. Write to me if something bothers you, don't be coy. I hope we’ll meet soon again, but now, unfortunately, I have to go. Goodbye, Nightmare. Good luck at the road!” The snowy alicorn took a step and embraced me briefly quicker than I could react, and disappeared in a patting flash of teleportation with a wink. “See ya, Princess.” I said slowly into the space. 27. With Such Friends...The day began unusually today: Twilight woke me up and, dancing with impatience, beckoned me to watch the sunrise. To my sleepy bewilderment, the unicorn explained, that it was a rare occurrence and a sign of Princess Celestia's special good mood, as was the sunset. At other times there have even been generations of ponies who have never seen such a thing! When I realized I couldn't fall asleep now, I sighed and followed the enthusiastic Twi out to the balcony. “Hi, Spi-i-ike.” I couldn't hold a yawn, saying hi to the already settled dragon. “Ehm... Hi.” He replied hesitatingly. The ponies seemed to be in high spirits - the street was unusually... crowded for such an early hour. I spotted a few photographers, a couple of painters with easels, hurrying to paint a majestic picture of the rising Sun, that colored the horizon in scarlet, orange, and pink. It’s beautiful, after all... ... I went out of the tree house light this time. It was a bit unaccustomed without armor and bags, but now I just wanted to walk around a bit and then turn off to the lake to pay attention to flying. It had been a busy day yesterday... the last couple of days, even. Tia had made me nervous, of course, but all in all - it was probably not a bad trip. I also shook off four invitations from the big white horse, which last night gloriously lifted my spirits when, with the injunction "Mum's the word!", I handed them out one by one. “It will be a surprise to the ponies, when they all end up coming to the party." I smiled contentedly. Yeah... Pinkie was hugging my ribs and they crunched, Rarity was jumping around, like she was Sweetie, getting a cutie mark, losing all her glossiness, Fluttershy... Fluttershy was silent and hiding in her mane - I just had to leave the invitation on the table. Well, I had had expected something like that from her... Narrowing eyes, I switched my eyes towards the Sun. It’s good to walk alone: no one comes close, doesn't interrupt thoughts... My thoughts, meanwhile, drifted to my perennial problem: how to occupy myself and how to start earning a living on my own? The only thing I could do right now is to be a bouncer at a club: big, scary... And I had no other advantages, if you really think about it. And I won't have until I get my magic back. I can work on the farm now, of course, but... “Oh! Flincess!” I was brought back to reality by an enthusiastic child's voice. I lowered my gaze to find a lemon-colored little earthpony with a green mane and the same eyes, looking up at me admiringly from under her hair. "You have me confused with someone else." I chuckled quietly back. “Nope!” The filly shook her head. “You have the forn! And fings! Mean you're Flincess!” I looked around for her parents, who for some reason hadn't rushed to get away, let alone let the baby come to me. The familiar image from my previous life made me cover my face with the tip of my wing for a moment, rolling my eyes. With their backs to me, the two mares, a blue pegasus and a cream-colored earthpony with a green mane and tail, in which the kid's mother was easily identifiable, were slowly strolling down the street. The clumsy mothers were chatting with each other about something incredibly important, completely losing sight of the real world and not paying attention even to the rapidly emptying alleyway. I could immediately imagine how, a few minutes ago, the little pony, languishing with boredom, was fidgeting with these chattering girls, sadly persuading them to do something like this: “Mom, let’s go! Mom, I want to eat! Mom!” “Bored?” I looked at the filly sympathetically. “Yeah.” She sighed sadly. “I want go home... But mom met auntie Stream again and doesn't want to go home... And I’m tired!” I wonder, if I take her with me now and take her wherever I want, how soon will they notice? Leaving a child unattended... They're asking for it. “Tired, you say? Do you want a ride?” I smiled at the pony. “You would be able to tell everyone, that you had a ride on a Princess!” “Feally-feally?!” She looked at me, her eyes rounded, with great disbelief. “Of course.” I nodded seriously. “So?” “Yeee! Wantwantwant! Can I? Wow!” The earthpony started to jump around me. “I’ll have a ride on a Flincess! I’ll have a ride on a Flincess! I’ll have a ride... Phew... on a Flincess!” “Hold on!” I picked her up with magic and, with a joyful squeak, carefully transferred her to my back, lifting wings slightly, so that the filly would not fall accidentally. “Oh! So high!” She was on my back, stomping back and forth, and resting her hooves on the raised wing. “Mom, mom, I’m riding a Flincess! Mom! Mom! I have a ride on a Flincess! Mom, do you hear?!” The pony cried out enthusiastically. I couldn't hold back a smile. I lifted my wings higher - as a precaution - to catch up with the chatterboxes, occasionally smiling at the little filly's reaction to what was going on. “Auntie Flincess, you're so tall! You can even look out of the window! O, let’s look out? Let's? This one!” The little one rubbed my mane and pointed her hoof at the first-floor window of someone's home. “Let’s go.” I snickered shortly and moved away from the road onto lawn. “Unfair!” The mare was indignant and shook her mane in displeasure when we approached: the window was curtained from the inside. “Why do they hide from evelyone?” “Not from everyone, you know...” I prolonged, looking at the window for a second as well. “Sunny! “O-oh...” I heard a muffled half-squeal, half-sob from the side of the road. “O, mum! Look, Flincess giving me a ride!” The little filly was finally pleased by the parental attention. I put on an indifferent expression on my face, and turned slowly - deliberately - towards the shocked mare. She didn't run away, nor did she take her tear-filled, gray-blue eyes from me, which were a mix of desperate pleading and extreme horror. So, chatterbox, you don't have so many kids that you have nowhere to put them, do you? Honestly - I want to tell you something "nice," but ... There's nothing good in the hyperprotection, too. She'll stop letting the girl out of the house, will not allow her to go out with friends, will drag her everywhere with her... Fine. How did she call her daughter? Sunny? “Sunny, do you want be home?” I turned head to the filly. It still amazes me, that I can look at my own back, albeit with one eye, without too much difficulty... “No!” Pony shook her head. “It's so afesome with you!” There was a muffled sob, coming from the adult mare. “Is it, mommy? Ehm... Mom?” The pony lost all her cheerfulness when she looked at her mother. “Mom, you hurt? A? Mom? Ehm... Auntie Flincess?” She gently tugged my mane. “Yes, Sunny?” “It's feally feally good wis you, but can I go to my mom?” The little pony stepped uncertainly on my back. “Of course.” I smiled with an edge of my lips and, picking her up with my telekinesis with a delighted squeak, gently lowered her to the ground. “Oh, so good! Thank you, auntie Flincess!” The pony tried to make a bow. “Goodbye!” “Goodbye, Sunny.” I couldn't hold a slight smile again. “Look after mom, so she wouldn’t... Get lost.” I erased any hint of emotions at the last words, looking in the filly's mother’s eyes with a heavy, gloomy look. Judging by the way she shrank, a certain educational effect was achieved. “Okay, I fill loog after.” Sunny nodded to me seriously and, turning, ran to her mother. I, chuckling quietly, turned around and moved away down the road. “Mom, I want to eat! Mom!” It sounded behind me, causing me to smile again, which made the pegasus on the threshold of his house hurry back inside, shutting the door as quickly as possible. The smile turned into a chuckle. I turned around a few dozen paces after. The mare, clutching her daughter to herself like the most precious treasure in the world, was in tears, and the girl, not understanding anything, was trying to get out of her mother's embrace. I turned away hastily and walked towards the market. Don't rush away from your mother's embraces, Sunny. The day will come, when you'll want to feel them, but you won't be able to... ... As I approached the market, I noticed a hesitantly wriggling yellow pink-haired pony with bags on her sides at the edge of the square. A familiar sight... But why is she standing there? As if she had to go to the market, but very-very doesn't want to. I wasn't going to turn there, but sad Fluttershy is a likely opportunity to beat someone up. Just the thing to get rid of the gloomy thoughts... I pulled a more welcoming expression on my face and stepped closer, kicking my hooves into the sidewalk, so that the mare would hear my approach. “Hello, Fluttershy!” “Mom! Oh... Oh, sorry... I didn't not... O-oh!” The pegasus jumped, turning around and noting who exactly said hello. Who was I stomping for, one may ask? “Just don't fall, please!” I asked the mare as if with a tongue-twister, who, by the looks of her, was about to have her heart stopped from fright. “Sorry...” She whispered something, hiding behind her mane. I heard only the first word. “How are you doing?” I didn't give up to start a conversation. “...” The pegasus squeaked something quietly. I suppressed a sigh. Why are you such?.. Such! We had a normal conversation just yesterday! Well... Almost. Almost got to talk with each other, yeah... “Are you alright? I think you're standing here for a while already?” I made another attempt. “Well...” Sighing, the pony rustled something in reply into her pink mane. I couldn't hold it this time and sighed. What you gonna do? Yeah, she won't talk to me... But damn it, she doesn't stay here just because she's bored - something clearly wrong. I swept a quick, thoughtful glance over the environment. Wait... O! At the market, a familiar orange pony was fussing over one of the counters, filling it with apples from a cart. Great. She's the one to make Flutty talk. “Let’s go.” I moved towards Applejack, pushing Fluttershy in the same way with my wing at the same time. “Oops!.. M-m... Maybe... Well... Maybe it's better... M-m...” The mare, going next to me obediently, started to panic barely audibly. “We have to, have to. You need it above all.” I refused all insists. “Bye, sugarcube! Eat for you health!” As I approached, I heard AJ, admonishing the customer, who had interrupted the display for her sake. She nodded in response, turned, and when she saw me right in front of her, she jerked to the side, letting the bag out of her mouth. The apples rolled down the sidewalk. I walked around the hapless turquoise pony in a curve, and, under Applejack's gloomy gaze, headed for the counter. “Nightmare, help her! P-please. W-well... If you can, of course...” I glanced at Fluttershy in surprise, turned my gaze to the mare, catching the rolled apples with suspiciously glistening eyes, back to Fluttershy, looking at me with a begging look... “Fine. If you are asking to do it...” I gave up and lit the horn, picking up one of the fruits and levitating it under the nose of the sad little mare. She was surprised to see an apple before her, so she turned around and shivered, seeing me again. “Come on, pack it up.” I advised indignantly to this coward, nodding to the bag and getting the next apple. One was passed on by Flutty, another one - by one of the most courageous passerby. Passing the last apple on the mare, I took a step towards Applejack's counter. “T-thanks...” Sounded behind my back incoherently. “Ehm... Take it, please...” I turned around: the frightened pony held out one of the saved apples. “Get it to Fluttershy.” Waving away in thought, I nodded at the hesitatingly smiling mare and finally turned to Applejack. It seems, that she went out of the counter to help, but didn't come for some reason. “Greetings.” I nodded to the farmer. “Greetings, Nightmare...” She echoed, giving me a thoughtful look and then looking behind me, where, by the sounds of it, the turquoise filly was trying to hand an apple to desperately shy Flutty. “Don't you know why Fluttershy was standing at the market’s entrance for a while and was scared to go in?” The farmer looked at me perplexedly. “Nah... Listen, I just got here - the goods haven't been delivered yet, Mac should bring a second wagon soon... And what’s the matter?” “I’m curious too about the matter - but our shy friend hesitates to speak...” I cringed. “I hoped you knew.” “Hm...” AJ examined me with a strange look. “No, but if such a situation - will ask her. Maybe she needs help or somethin’... Howdy, Flutty, hi!” She waved with a hoof, drawing attention of the most embarrassed pegasus, holding an apple in her hoof. ... Argh! Damn it! Stood aside for AJ to get talking with Fluttershy, didn't touch anyone... And then came Big Mac with more apples... And brought another very “relevant” association right now, unwillingly forcing me to remember the damned equalogist with her “extraordinary effort”, fucking hell! As I turned away from the unloading stallion and shook my head sharply in an attempt to get rid of the intrusive image of me and Mac, moaning and shrieking, I felt my cheeks and ears flaming with indignation. And Applejack had to end her conversation with Flutty just now! The farmer came over, opened her mouth to speak, blinked in surprise, looked between me and her brother a couple of times, and stared at me grimly as she clenched her jaws with a clatter. “Hey... I understand, that you haven't had someone on the Moon for a while, but if you want a stallion to cover you well or something, don't look at my brother! Got it?! Maybe you really got over yourself and stuff, not just making fools of us, but be away from him for your better! He's a decent pony, not some...” A-a... I stared unblinking into space somewhere above AJ's hat, feeling my cheek twitch nervously and the gears in my head jamming with a grinding, one after the other... Ehm... But... E-e... How did she!.. I’m!.. “Hey, Nightmare, what’s up there?” “Yeah...” I nodded somnambulistically and turned around and headed for the market exit on wooden legs. “Listen, ‘kay... Sorry for being sharp, okay? Just, yeah... No, if you like Mac - date, you can, but only if it’s serious!” The ending "shell” caught up to me, forcing me to stumble on a plain spot. I shook my head sharply as I left the market and stepped to the curb, and quickly took a few deep breaths to get out of my stupor Now I know what it's like to fall out into the “blue screen”... In fact, it is hard to say what made me lose my temper more - the farmer's words or the reaction of my own body, which, judging by the slightly numb and wings, refusing to fold tightly at the sides, hinted, that it liked the idea of the stallion... “Nightmare, hey... I didn't want to hurt ya, really.” Applejack caught up to me. “Here, take at least that...” She handed three apples over to me, which were cunningly glued to the hoof. “I don't need it, I’m not offended.” I waved away reluctantly. “Just your brother... He recalled one association from the past. Not the one I wanted to remember ever... So I’m not going to date stallions at all. Okay, what?..” “So you like mares more, don't you?” The farmer interrupted me, shaking her head disapprovingly. “I hate you all, mares and stallions alike!” I fought off the earthpony gloomily, which was poking her nose not into her business. “And let’s end with this.” AJ, narrowing eyes, looked at me watchfully. “What happened to Fluttershy?” I got back to the initial topic. “That’s all you.” Farmer sniffed indignantly. “Of course I understand, that he asked for it, but he's not the only one who's heard your threats... Anyway, because of you, no one dares to sell anything more expensive than one bit to Fluttershy, and some of ‘em even say: “Take what you want and go away.” But she can't like that! But she hesitates to ask to up the price as well...” Intere-e-esting... “So Fluttershy is too shy to go for the food, and she's on short commons now, thanks to your effort." AJ finished her story with an undisguised reproach. “Got it.” Slowing, I prolonged thoughtfully. “I’ll think what I can do.” “Just don't beat someone up, would ya?” The earthpony glanced at me from under the hat. “Won't make promises.” I chuckled gloomily at the farmer. “All the best, Applejack.” I waved my wing as a goodbye, turned away from the counter. where AJ and I had slipped back to while we were talking unnoticed, and moved towards Fluttershy, who was hesitating aside. I honestly had no idea what to do about the situation. Well, yes, it was a mistake, but how to fix it? Should I stand the traders in the marketplace and yell at them all? Tell them, that a fair price, not a low one, is important to me? Well, yeah - they'll ask me what I think the fair price is ... What-what... Average! Normal! Man, it's just a bunch of general words, that everyone will twist the way they want to twist! That won't solve the problem... Or?.. A-a, damn it! I don't know! Fuck with them, be it! Do I owe Fluttershy? Yes. It's not hard to go out and buy for her, since she's embarrassed, especially since I don't know where to put myself anyway. Then I'll help her. I made my decision, and with a swift, decisive step I walked to the hesitating pegasus, that was digging at the ground with a hoof. “Let’s go.” I ordered shortly. “W-where?” The pony stepped back with indecision. “To your packages. You're hesitating - you could have just asked me.” I emphasized a slight smile. “Oh... M-m... A... But... Maybe...” Flutty tried to become smaller, hiding behind her mane again. “If you want - I can do it myself.” I shrugged with wings. “Just give me the list, bags, money and go home, or you can sit in that cafe.” I nodded at the corresponding sign. “...!” The pegasus squeaked barely audibly. “I got it...” I waved with a front leg hopelessly and took the bags off her with telekinesis. I looked inside, found a piece of paper in one, which turned out to be the list I was looking for, a wallet, and somehow put the standard shoulder bags around my neck. Uncomfortable, damn... “Oops!.. It’s... Not needed, I...” The pony tried to feign a decisive insist. “Come on, drink something.” I lifted my companion's front leg with my telekinesis and put the lighter purse on her hoof: I poured half the coins into my bag. I guess I have enough left over. “When I'm done, I'll look you up in that cafe. If I can't find you, I'll unload at your home. That's it, rest.” I pulled out the list and turned decisively towards the counters, letting a restrained smile creep onto my face as I did so. I was in no hurry today; helping Fluttershy wouldn't be hard, especially if I could scratch a lousy mood against someone in the process. The scene with Sunny and her mother suddenly hurt my heart... The memory immediately wiped the smile off my face. The market, meanwhile, was trying to live its usual life: touting, selling, pricing, buying, simply communicating... But all of this - trying not to attract attention. Mine attention. I just had to look at the golden pegasus with the dark purple mane who was selling all sorts of fruit, and he cut short his call to "come and buy fruits! The best and freshest!" and, feigning something remotely resembling a smile on his face, shrank behind the counter. The customer who had just come up to his shop, noticing the metamorphosis, turned around and, pale in the face, stepped back a few steps, signifying a bow and making an inviting gesture. I nodded at the unicorn's unusual greeting and hovered over the counter and its owner, engulfing the latter in my shadow: the Sun was shining from behind. Pegasus swallowed nervously. “G... G-good day, milady! How?.. It’s... How can a humble o-owner... Of this market shop help you?” The stallion panted, stumbling. “Greetings.” I nodded shortly. “Lemons. Two units. Pears. Five units. Bananas. Five units as well. “I-in a m-moment!” The salesman fussed as he put my order into paper bags. Hey, didn't know they had those. “H-here... It’s... You're welcome.” I moved the paper bags into the saddle bags and stared at the pegasus in silence. And? The pegasus flattened his ears and smiled again nervously. Not a great one. It was as if he wasn't going to say anything else. “How much?” I cut off the pause, that began to drag on. The stallion twitched. “Ehm... It's... N-nothing! It’s... It’s a g-gift! Gift, yes!” She squeezed out a plastic smile and swallowed nervously. “Are you sure?” I narrowed eyes. The merchant nodded his head very repeatedly. Suddenly, there were cautious steps behind me. Oh, a line. I didn't think anyone would dare... I glanced at the trembling stallion in front of me. You know, I would not persuade you, why should I make others wait? “One bit.” I stated with a sigh, tapping a coin onto the counter. Who's the evil Pinocchio to you? If you don't want it - I’m fine. In principle, I am satisfied with everything as it is... “N-nightmare! But... It's... Ehm... W-wrong...” In a quiet, shy voice, there was a sudden outcry from behind me, just as I was about to turn to leave. I looked back at the voice. Fluttershy was hiding behind her mane. Why didn't you sit there, ay?.. However... Hm, maybe it's even good, that she has come... “Fine. Then what’s not wrong?” I stepped back from the counter and made an inviting gesture. Come on, come closer, show the right way. Either you'll get over yourself and give a fair price, or your shyness will show me and yourself the correctness of my approach. “Ehm... Well... I...” The pegasus shrank and started to get back. “Yeah... It means I’m doing it right, yeah?” I pretended joy on my face, brazenly grabbed a pear off the counter, and took a big bite. It crunched. A hard sort, damn it. Don't like these. But sweet. “N-no!” Flutty squeaked and bit her lip hysterically. “Alas, I can't do it any other way." I moved with a wing, shoving the remaining half of the pear into my chaps. “So.” I finished chewing. “If you want to save these merchants from meeting me, you name a fair price. Or I'll come and help with the shopping.” Flutty stared at the ground in silence, her ears drooping sadly. I sighed as I approached the pegasus. “Fluttershy, listen... Back at the castle, you were the only one, who stood up for me, came out and told Celestia a “no”. Princess herself! For no one's wanted villain!” “Ehm... But... N-nightmare!..” "So why can't you tell that to a peddler at the bazaar? You can! They're not scarier than Princess.” “B-but... It’s, ehm...” “Different? It’s not, Fluttershy. You, I think, wanted to insist, that someone's life is not the same as a bag of fruits? It’s the same! It’s your life, yours and your animals, which had to be fed. I heard you have a bear? You know what is going to happen if you don't feed him with berries or honey, don't you?” The mare shivered and paled, nodding perplexedly. “So take the money and go save your animals from the hunger.” “I... Well... I... I’ll try...” The pegasus panted finally. “You're a good one, Kindness. You’ll make it, it's easy.” I tried to cheer her up, handing over the bags with goods and money back to their owner. “Nightmare! What about... Well...” She looked towards the recent store with fruits hesitatingly, seller of which is still watching me nervously. “He said it’s a gift.” I shrugged with wings. “B-but... It’s wrong!” “His product - he knows better.” I chuckled. “Ehm...” Flutty mused. “No, it’s... It's wrong, Nightmare!” Pony looked into the bag and extraordinary deftly extracted a few coins from it. “You can... Ehm... Give... Well... Give them to him? Please?” “As you wish.” I caught the money with magic. “Thanks...” The pegasus hastened to hide behind her mane, getting embarrassed for some reason. “I think I’ll go now, yes? Well...” “Goodbye, Fluttershy.” I nodded. I didn't hear the end of the sentence again, but I assumed I had answered correctly. The mare smiled shyly, turned a little hastily, and moved away. I smiled with corners of my lips in her wake, turned and, after a quick thinking, approached the fruit vendor, whose face clearly showed anger at himself for not getting out sooner. “Here.” I slapped a pile of coins onto the counter. “Also... A gift.” The stallion nodded in a hunted way. “And also... Do you know all the fellow traders here?” I looked in his eyes narrowly. “N-no, mi... Mistress.” He answered, stumbling and hastening to look away. “Means you’ll do.” I nodded to myself. “The mare I was talking to, Fluttershy, have you seen her? Be so kind to tell your colleagues, that you can't bargain with her: what she pays is what's right, got it?” “Y-yes, I g-got it, mistress!” The stallion started to nod like a dummy. “If she complains about being put before too low or too high prices, I'll break different places. As a gift. Is it clear?” “Y...Yes!” The trader swallowed fitfully. “I hope so. Don't mess things. Wish you the best.” I smiled with all my teeth before backing up. We’ll hope, that this question is closed... The sound of a fallen body was heard behind. Pathetic. ... When I left the market, I stopped in the shade of a tree: the morning chill had melted under the bright rays of the Sun, and it was gradually getting hot outside. In addition, the pegasi had dispersed all the clouds, and only a light breeze kept the world from turning into an oven. Did Tia move her light bulb closer or something? I chuckled, imagining writing a letter Princess, asking her to raise her light away from the surface. And, most importantly, they all seem to be normal, and I alone am hot: the passerby, fearfully sniffing past me, did not look covered by the heat, some even for a moment happily put their faces to the Sun, blissfully shutting their eyes. I sighed, and then I strolled my gaze lazily about my surroundings... and froze when my eyes caught a strange detail. There, a pony being shunned by passersby. Standing in the shadow of a house, looking at me. Not far, twenty meters away. The cloak - which is strange - with a deep hood, which is already suspicious. A gust of wind moved the hood, and the alicorn's keen eye allowed me a glimpse of the cloak-user's face as well. Eyes with narrow pupils and fangs, that flashed, when he... or rather, she... twisted unhappily, adjusting the hood. Interesting... I stepped towards the stranger’s way and... “Howdy, Night!” ...Recoiled back reflexively, when Pinkie Pie appeared before me as if just out of nowhere, like a screamer. “I’m so happy to see you! What are you doing here? I missed you so much!” She hugged me briefly in a hug, and she didn't let me get a word in edgewise at the same time. I hastily put my hoof to her lips in a "hush!" gesture, trying to see the mare in the robe at the same time. Pinkie, silent, followed my gaze. Ah, no use anymore. Disappeared - whoever she was. “I got what you're doing.” The pink-haired said, lowering voice. “Looking for a spy, aren't you? Sca-ary, in a cloak!” How did she?.. I stared at her. “Just a guess.” The mare smiled. “I nailed it, right? Really, I did?” “You did.” I grumbled, sighing. “She stood here, spying on me. A mare in a dark-blue coat with a hood. If my eyes didn't lie to me, she had eyes and fangs just like mine.” “Wow!” Pinkie stomped enthusiastically. “Maybe it’s a thestral! You know, these night ponies with bats-like wings! Cool! And also I don't know her since there are no thestrals in Ponyville! And it means that she's new and she needs friends! Interesting - is she here for a long time? O, o, I know! I have to introduce you to her! You need friends and she needs friends, and if you're similar, then...” “Hold your horses, Pinkie.” I asked. “I already have enough friends. But the reason why she was spying on me - this is where it gets interesting...” Especially in light of the fact, that thestrals, as far as I can tell, work for Luna... I don't like it... “You're mistaken, Night.” The earthpony shook her head, being serious after a moment. “You can never have too many friends, or, as you said, enough. All together is always better than alone.” I chuckled. Lack of friends may be sad, but it has the undeniable advantage of having no one to betray you. “And why do you think, that she was spying on you?” Pinkie looked at me. “She's a new one! Just looked around, maybe. You're an alicorn! I, during the first time - well, then, in the town hall - looked as well and thought: “Wow, an alicorn!” “Yeah. And the hooded cloak, because of which it's hard to tell if it's a pony or a griffon, she put on for rain." I nodded and demonstratively stared at the cloudless sky. I wonder - were there a dagger under the cloak? Is Luna just watching, or... is it going to finish what she started on the Moon? Now would be a good time - I can't do anything at all... I shuddered, acutely aware of my nakedness without the familiar weight of, though symbolic, but armor. ... The training session today was short and brought no joy at all: the damned thestral wasn't going out of my head, nor was the thought, that Luna needed living Nightmare even less, than Celestia did. As a result, when I found myself trying to stay away from the reeds and looking around nervously while drying my wings, I was finally disappointed in the idea of training today: even without nerves the process was shaky because of the heat... So, after doing only two takeoffs - and two swims - I returned to the library in a grim state of mind. Twilight wasn't there, Spike wasn't there, and there was no food, much to my disappointment. I munched sluggishly on some quick bread, cucumber, and tomato sandwiches and drank water, and realized, that it was useless and I needed to eat more normally. I didn't want to cook - and I didn't even know how to anymore: who needs to know how to fry spicy chicken wings or beef liver with onions and apples? I could have cooked buckwheat, but I didn't have any. There was rice, which always came out just disgusting if I'm before the table, and semolina and oatmeal, which I never considered to be food and therefore simply could not cook. With a sigh I looked around the kitchen one last time and went up to the second floor, and a corner there were: breastplate, helmet and my shoulder bags, and under them - my shoes, and everything of it was on a stool near the camping mat - thanks to Pinkie, if she hadn't done that, I would have been sleeping on the floor. I would have to go to some food service... But I would get dressed first: it would be calmer that way... Putting the gear on, I again was about to put on my helmet, but when I remembered how hot the sun was outside, I changed my mind. It's metal - it would get hot and my head would get fucking baked inside... Regretfully putting the helmet back, I hurried to leave “Golden Oak”. I had no idea where to go, though... I didn't know any café-restaurants, but I didn't need any anyways... Shall I go to Pinkie? But she only has sweets, and I wanted something more serious... Oh, whatever! I'll find something on the way! Waving away thoughts, I moved wherever the road takes me. ... “Hi, Scoot. No offense, but you look worse than I feel.” “Howdy...” She replied half-heartedly, matching the look on her face. In fact, that's why I approached her, when our paths accidentally crossed. The little one looked... not so good. She looked darker than a cloud. Not good. “You're pale as a ghost. Are you alright?” I didn't want to wander around. “Yes, of course! Everything is fine!” Scootaloo tried to feign a smile, answering in a hurry. Yeah, I trust you with all my heart. “Are you sure?” I looked at her watchfully. “Yes, I!... I don't know. No, I’m not sure.” She stated, sighing heavily, looking at her feet. “Do you need help?” I asked. This pegasus is not the person who would be left alone by me with her problems. “I’ll make it myself!” She barked. “Yeah?” I narrowed eyes. Kinda doubtful. “What has even happened?” Scootaloo cringed, choosing to remain silent. Where is she coming from, by the way? It's a relatively new street, as far as I know, and it's not really built up yet. It was mostly laid out for the sake of a rather large hospital, clearly "for future" for the town... Wait... There's a bag of apples, dangling from the base of the pegasus’ wing. There aren't many options, in that case: isn't it the bar down the street that she's carrying them from? “Dash?” I assumed, and, judging by the way the little pegasus drooped, I was right. “Yeah.” The interlocutor sighed, realizing, that it’s useless to keep silent. "I went to check on her after school, and I brought her some apples and stuff, and she... Anyway, she doesn't want to see me anymore, like I came to see you there, after that, well... Incident. And she won't teach me how to fly anymore, it seems." Scoot hung her head. "And she doesn't want to make peace either... And..." The filly kicked a stone on the road, which flew rustling into the bushes. “It's all right, I'll think of something.” The pegasus' voice, whose eyes gleamed suspiciously, treacherously trembled at the last words. H-horse sausages! You're Trash - not Dash! I can imagine how the kid feels right now, just sent away by her idol and refusing to teach her how to fly, even with her problem! While we were silently tapping our hooves on the road, I tried to think hard about what I could do. The only thing I could think of was to go to the painted scumbag and tell her, that if she wouldn't teach her how to fly and Scootaloo didn't fly, I would break her wings and tell her, that she did it herself! Scoot doesn't fly - you will walk on foot as well. “Cool”, damn it. But I’m afraid no one would like it. But do I even care, hey? Nevertheless, I'd better leave that option for last. It would be good to find someone knowledgeable as a coach instead of this empty-headed... “Has the summer school season started already? How's school going?” I tried to change the subject to something neutral, realizing, that I was unlikely to come up with a good idea. The pegasus, who has calmed down a bit during the silence, was gloomy again. What the hell happened again... Ah, damn it! That conversation of ours slipped my mind! Judging by the reaction, it didn't work, if it didn't make it worse at all. “So-o...” I prolonged. “A conversation didn't help?” “It did... Tiara and Spoon now pass around me on the next street.” Scootaloo chuckled sadly. “Today they pestered a new one - Apple Bloom, I think her name is - and one look was enough for me to make them go away! And the new girl... Anyway, those troublemakers stay away from me now. Most of my acquaintances, too. Even Cheerilee doesn't call me to the blackboard and doesn't reprimand me when I'm late! And... And now Sweetie is afraid of me, too, like everyone else... And I... And I...” The little pegasus inhaled frantically and held her head up to hold back her tears. I picked her up silently with my telekinesis and turned off the road onto the grass, where I lay down and covered the poor filly with my wing. A fleeting surprise at my action, it seems, even helped her calm down a little - there were still tears in her eyes along with extreme bewilderment, but Scoot did not allow them to spill. Yeah... The conversation seemed to help so much that the cure was worse than the disease. I can't remember exactly the canon, but I think the only real friends the orange pegasus had were the Crusaders and Rainbow. And now, it turns out, she's all alone ... Bastard, I fucking knew it wouldn’t be a happy end! Though I didn't even anticipate something so close to that. “Hey...” The mare started to fuss under the wings. “Here, take an apple. They're sweet!” She held the fruit out to me. “Thanks.” I got the thing with magic and ate half of it with one bite. Food! The apple was truly beyond one's imagination. Sad it ended too fast... “Thank you!” She got out of the wing. “I’m good. And yeah...” Scootaloo looked around cautiously. “Don't hug me anymore, good? If they see it... I will be a wuss, who likes all this tenderness and mumbling...” I laughed, for which I was rewarded with the look of a comically pouting filly, which only added to my amusement in this way. It was her "I'm all grown up and tough!" expression that looked incredibly funny. “What’s so funny?” She grumbled, being offended. “I just imagined how someone tries to name me soft wuss for my love to hug...” I got away. Scootaloo giggled, but still looked at me with bewilderment. “A... Do you really like this tenderness?” “As the mood takes.” I shook my head indefinably. “And with whom.” “Nah.” The kid shook head. “This is for pathetic...” I stared at her wordlessly. “Ooops, well, I mean... This is not what I meant!” She became confused, realizing the said. “Well, I mean, Dash said... So...” Scootaloo drooped again. Damn it! “I can go to her and explain how much wrong she is.” I proposed. “No, it won't help.” The little mare sighed. “She won't listen to you...” “Doesn't listen - will feel it.” I naked my teeth promisingly. “Don’t!” Scoot recoiled back with fear. “I mean... Rainbow is really cool! She's just sick right now, so she's... When she gets better, we'll make up!” Yeah, with a condition not to come near me again, with some kind of "Prove that you're my friend and not hers" or something like that. Maybe I'm exaggerating a little bit... “Okay, it’s your business.” I shrugged with wings. “But if you do - call me. I’ll make peace with you two - even if she doesn't want to.” “No one makes peace by crow hop.” She insisted confidently. “Thanks, of course, but I’ll do it myself!” The pegasus shook her head determinately. I smiled and extended my wing in her direction, but Scoot deftly dodged without letting myself to scratch on her head. “Hey!” An indignant look was addressed to me. “Okay, I won't.” Stopping a chuckle with force, I folded the wing and got on my feet. “What happened between you and Sweetie?” “A-a...” Scoot waved with a leg with sadness. “It's the same as with everyone else, I guess. It's all that talk... No, don't get me wrong!.. You gave them a good scare: "Scootaloo, don't forget to sacrifice for me!” The pegasus parodied the ominous voice comically. “But it looks like someone saw it, and then spread it all over town! Everyone thought you'd let me go and demanded, that I must find a victim for you before Nightmare Night, a pony to go to the Moon instead of me! So... no one wants to be that pony. Sweetie as well...” “Sorry.” I sighed. “We tried our best - you know the rest...” “Cool phrase.” The mare smiled fleetingly. “And... Still, thank you. It's been a long time since I've had a proper break because of these...” I turned away for a second and cringed. Scoot can pretend, that everything is fine, as long as she wants to - it wouldn't fool me. There's a problem - and I have to fix that. And I think I even know what to start with. “I know Sweetie's big sister. And I have an idea how to get you two together again.” “Don’t!” Scootaloo looked at me frighteningly. “It’s better if I do it myself!” “Don't worry, Scoot, no one's going to be hurt.” I winked at the pegasus. “Nah, still, it’s better for you to not do it.” She shook her head. “If you force her to be friends with me - yourself or through Rarity - it's not friendship - it's some gibberish.” Stubborn as a tank. This is why I can't just turn around and go away. “Nothing like that. The idea is simple: if Sweetie is afraid of me, then I think, that it can be fixed by simply visiting Rarity’s house. It’s hard to be scared of the one, who talks cutely over a cup of tea with your sister, right? I just need the time, when Sweetie Belle returns home.” “Well... Fine.” Scoot gave up. “She stayed in the school today after lessons to do homework, and I... A-a...” The pegasus waved away disappointedly. “Generally, I can't say for sure, of course, but usually Sweetie is there for an hour or hour and a half if she stays there. So she is either home or will be soon. I think half an hour is maximum, not later.” “Good. Thanks!” I nodded at the filly with a smile. “Don't mention it...” She waved away again. “Okay, off I go. See you soon, Scoot. Don't worry, I’ll bring back your friend.” I winked at the mare as a goodbye. “See you soon!” She waved with a wing as a reply. I smiled briefly again, turned around, and headed in the direction of "Carousel". Damn it, I still have not eaten! Heck... “Hey...” A sound went into my back. I turned around to the shyly hesitating pegasus. “I... Well, thanks for doing this for me... Well... Well, it’s better for me to go, farewell!” Scoot said in a hurry and hastened to leave, blushing. I followed her with a long stare. You're a good pony, Scootaloo. Don't worry, I’ll get your friend back somehow. And... And I think I've just got an idea of how to help you get flying. ... “Hi, Rarity! Are you busy?” I announced my arrival to the owner of “Carousel”. Judging by the smells inside, she was cooking something. My stomach, to my sluggish indignation, immediately hinted, that it would be a good idea to stay longer and taste the results of the unicorn's labor. “Oh, greetings, Nightmare!” Rarity looked out of the kitchen. “Come in, please! I’m always happy to see you!” She nodded to herself behind her back and hurried back, reacting to some suspicious hissing. I wiped my shoes on the rug by the door, and followed into the kitchen. It's good to be here in Equestria when things come to dirt and dust... The aboriginals don't understand their happiness, they have nothing to compare it to, but I get high from it. Sometimes I get a feeling, that ponies don't get dirty at all. No, it sticks, of course... But to get seriously dirty you have to get into the sand with wet feet, for example, or to plunge into the thick sticky mud in the forest after the rain, I do not know... I remember being very surprised, when after the first training I tried to wash my hooves before eating: half a day in dust and sand - and water from feet is almost transparent, not the expected muddy-gray. In general, there is definitely some "it's magic" here. “Sorry, I have to be distracted sometimes." Rar smiled at me a little embarrassed as she picked up a pot of some brew and wiped it with a rag at the same time. Not looking. How? I want that! “What can I do for you?” The mare turned her attention to me, fixing the problem. “Just wanted to stop by. And ask something as well.” “Of course, go ahead! Take a sit. Tea? Or maybe you'd wait for the supper? It's almost done.” I can't figure out how this pony manages to combine the inherent arrogance and snobbery of aristocracy - a pathological fear of getting her hooves dirty or messing up her hair - and a concern for other people's problems. It seems, that a pony with this kind of behavior should only value the magnificent and inimitable self - but no... “I wouldn't refuse.” I nodded thankfully, getting rid of the fore shoes and making myself comfortable at the table. “And the question... May seem unusual to you: what do you think my cutie mark means? Which talent do I have?” “Hm?” Rarity raised her eyebrows and stared thoughtfully at my croup as she walked around the table. I fidgeted on my chair, suppressing the urge to somehow hide from the stare. It's uncomfortable a bit... “If I'm not mistaken, dear, I saw the same cutie mark being born by Her Highness Princess Luna... Do you think you have the same talent? No, no, rather, you think your talent, despite the same markings, is different, but you don't know what it is, do you?” The unicorn looked at me thoughtfully. “Well - yes.” I nodded and stared thoughtfully into the steaming mug placed in front of me. “I don't know what to do - and it bothers me. I decided, that since I didn't have my own ideas, maybe someone from the outside could tell me something.” There was a problem, really - I couldn't see what I could do here point-blank. The presence of the cutie mark, in my situation, was more of a disadvantage: it exists, but what it means is unclear. The position of managing the Moon and dreams is still occupied, I would like to earn money now - how much can I be like that?.. In general, though this question served now more as an excuse to stop by, but the answer to it was also needed. “Sorry, Nightmare, but I’m afraid I can barely give you any advices.” Rarity drooped her ears with sadness. “Except to say that you shouldn't concentrate so much on your talent, looking for an occupation that is necessarily related to it. I am a fashion designer and I love my job, although that is not my talent. It's probably closer to being a jeweler - if not even a miner.” “Hm?” I feigned a surprised look. I know, of course, but I think surprise would be appropriate now. And I wonder what she's going to say... “My talent is finding, extracting and processing precious stones. Of course, I am not an expert in the artful jewelry cutting, though I could probably master it... But the skills I have are more than enough to decorate the dresses I make. And without too much boasting I will tell you that my dresses are wonderful and brilliant!” Rarity did some kind of dance move on emotions. Looked elegantly... “By the way, Nightmare! I just have to make you something for a holiday!” The unicorn looked at me delightfully. “Don't do it.” I moved back a bit from this excited person. “Unless you make armor... Why don't you tell me how did you get your cutie mark?” “I’ll do it, it’s a necessity!” The designer smiled. “You have nothing to wear! You’ll stay after the supper: I’ll take the measurements for the dress.” She ordered “You must shine!” Dress?! And she goes the same way... As if I hadn't enough with Tia?.. Even setting aside... uh... some, shall we say, reluctance to wear such a thing - what's the use to me of this expensive shiny rag?! Especially since I'd probably have to sell my kidney to pay for it... I'd rather sell my kidney for full lats. Blackened, engraved and with a scary horned helmet... “I don't need dresses!” I moved into refusal. “First of all - they’re not practical, second of all - I don't have money to pay you for it!” “What money, Nightmare?” The unicorn became indignant. “I won't take even a bit after yesterday from you! And dear, you're also forgetting - you're an alicorn! And also very famous! I’ll be covered with gold when everyone goes to me for an exclusive! A greater fortune, in fact, would be only to make a dress for Her Highness Princess Celestia herself!” Rarity rolled her eyes dreamily. “You're putting aside one sma-a-all thing.” I chuckled. “I’m the infamous alicorn.” “This is where you're mistaken, dear.” The mare smiled anticipatively. “This, in fact, would only draw more attention: to create a garment, that would satisfy the "fearful and cruel" Mare in the Moon herself, who, for the slightest flaw in it, would send its maker to the Moon...” “Are you recruiting me as a model or what?” I chuckled. “Hm...” Rarity - surprisingly - looked at me with a sharp-nosed gaze, stepping around to the side. Tilted her head slightly, assessing what she saw. It made me feel a little uncomfortable. As if she was asking the price... I have a bad feeling... “I'm afraid they won't hire you permanently." The unicorn sympathized sincerely as she returned to her seat at the table a few dozen seconds later. “You have a very... Unique model. The word "ravenous" even begs to be used. But I already have a couple of ideas, that would go perfectly with it! It could make a whole new collection! O-o!.. And you'll show it off!!! And then!..” “Don't get too excited, ay?” I asked the modeler with a certain apprehension, who was losing her mind. She's going too fast and too high. My toothy face will be on the covers of magazines, and journalists and crowds of fans will be chasing in the blink of an eye. “A? Oh, sorry.” Rarity became confused. “But... But I really just figured out what style to create for my new collection! It would really suit you!” “No!” I shook my head. “Well, unless your dress can protect me at least from a good kicking of the hooves from an acceleration run. And it would be good if it withstands a stab.” The unicorn blinked in confusion, looking nowhere. I grinned triumphantly, finished my tea in a gulp, and crunched the last of the biscuits I had left. “But... But why?!” My interlocutor got back into reality, looking at me with a puzzled gaze. “Why one needs clothes? For protection! From enemies, from the cold or heat, from prying eyes at least." I explained as a matter of course. It's not that I think beauty is completely unimportant... But it is secondary without a doubt. What good is a nice jacket if it doesn't keep me warm and windblown? Why do I need beautiful patent leather shoes, which do not hold water and in which the top is covered by snow, if for the same money you can get immortal army boots, in which you can go through pools, mud, snow, and you even can give a good kick to some mutt? It makes sense to look at beauty only when you choose among the things, that met the more important requirements. “But don't you want to look beautiful? To catch the eye, to fascinate...” “No.” I interrupted the unicorn, shaking my head again. “I look beautiful even without a dress, and the unwanted eyes at me are not my desire. If your dress brings nothing but beauty - I don't need it. I'd rather admire the craftsmanship of its creator and admire it on another mare." I tried to smooth things over. “Applejack with a horn and wings.” Rarity sighed sorrowfully, waving her hoof hopelessly at me before she went back to the table. “But she's just a mere farmer, but you?..” She asked. Even though said with irony, but I can feel it in guts - I touched the unicorn's feelings. Shit. “At least she's a farmer, but I’m a pathological loser with no job, no money, and no certain status." I muttered back. We went silent. “Sorry if I said something bad.” I apologized, getting over the awkwardness. “It’s me who must be sorry.” The mare smiled a bit sorrowfully. “I guess you don't have time for this now. Don't know how to live on, and here's me, poking nose with my dresses...” Suddenly, with a menacing roar, my stomach reminded me of its plight, making me gloomily squint at my empty belly. Damn, I had not eaten enough, for the apple from Scootaloo and the tea and cookies from Rar were of little help... “Oh, sorry, Nightmare! I'm a terrible hostess!” Rarity got up, blushing. Before I had time to open my mouth, the unicorn set the table in a flash: steaming fresh soup, salad, bread, spices, a bunch of flowers in a vase, cutlery, and a white napkin tied neatly around the hostess' white neck. She held out the other to me. “Ehm... Thanks.” I glanced around the table, picked up the offered napkin, and tucked the edge of it behind my breastplate. “Well, you have to tie them on your neck.” Rarity remarked cautiously, causing me to sigh. Another one... “My telekinesis is only enough to keep the spoon from passing my mouth, and even that is difficult." I muttered, picking up a slice of bread and sending it into his mouth as a whole. Food! “Oh, sorry...” “Not a big deal. Enjoy your meal, Rarity.” “Thanks, you too.” The unicorn smiled thoughtfully. I finally put the first spoonful of brew into my mouth. Well... Just a soup. They're all about the same without meat... “Nightmare, listen...” Rar called me, still not touching her food. “M?” "If you want - I can help you with telekinesis.” She offered perplexedly. “I don't know if it would be successful, but... I still have it, maybe I can help and explain something to you?” “Hm...” I mused. ... When we had enough, we took a second turn at tea. I accepted Rarity's offer: Twilight was a good magician, and she never refused to help, but... Not enthusiastically, let's just say. If you ask, she'll tell you; if you don't ask, she won't say a word. I could not help feeling, that the lavender unicorn was feeling me as a burden. “Listen! What if your mark means love of the night life, m?” Rarity suddenly said before the bowl could reach her mouth and hurried to put it on the table. “Dinner parties, fashion shows, bohemian life..." She rolled her eyes dreamily. “Yeah. And also espionage, blackmail, racketeering, and bank robberies under the cover of darkness." I chuckled. “Nightmare.” The interlocutor looked at me with a reproach. “Why do you have to always think of something bad? Ponies have changed for the better!” “An interesting proposal, but doubtful. I don't have any obsession with night adventures. And with dresses on fashion shows as well.” I left the unicorn's indignation without an answer. She snorted unhappily, which made me smile involuntarily: it came out very horsey. “Oops, I’m sorry.” Rarity noticed my smile and, blushing a bit, hastened to cover her mouth with a hoof. “Listen... How did you get your cutie mark?” I asked. I remember rudely, but it's interesting how much it will be different compared to canon? “Haven't I told you?” “No, you haven't.” I shook my head. “Really? Hm...” The mare scowled for a second. “Fine, listen.” She shook her mane, making some conclusion. I made myself comfortable and took a sip from the bowl. “It was after Madame Embroidery had taken me on as an apprentice, and all the hardest things seemed to be behind me... I even wrote a letter home: when my mentor found out, that I had never written to my parents the entire time I lived in Ponyville, she was furious. I thought she'd kick me out, but she didn't: I just bought myself off by promising to write home. It took me a week to squeeze those five lines out of my head." Rarity smiled sadly. “And then I walked around the post office with the letter for another week, not daring to go in and mail it. I knew quite clearly, that they hated me at home, and that it was such an intolerable shame to write on behalf of a small-town seamstress's unknown, blank flank assistant - not of a successful capital milliner - that I probably would never have sent it if I hadn't received another scolding and a reminder of my promise. But I still sent the letter, reassured by my mentor, that my parents would surely love me and forgive me... but there was no answer. And my sewing wasn't working out: the cutie mark wasn't showing up, and Madame Embroidery was in no hurry to trust me with serious work, giving me all kinds of minor orders, like costumes for the school play... I felt like nothing, Nightmare. It seemed, that everyone - literally everyone - who passed by, looked at me with mocking and reproachful looks... So, when I was not at work or studying, I started to run away from the town, trying to spend more time alone. The day I got my cutie mark, I went for a walk in the foothills, and I wandered farther than usual, to the place where the hills turned into real mountains. There were already rocks sticking out of the ground, there were huge boulders... I wandered down the slope, kicking the stones, that came under my hooves, and thinking, that it would be wonderful to stumble upon some precious stone, so that I could sell it and pay my mentor, who was still feeding me from her plate... Suddenly the ground shook, and from somewhere in the distance a peal of thunder rolled in. At first I thought, that an earthquake had begun... But when I looked up, I found a sight in the sky, that took my breath away: a very unusual rainbow, spreading across the sky like circles on water. Bright, beautiful, and stimulating to action just by its sheer look! I was filled with pure rapture, I wanted to express it immediately in some way, so I blew my energy into the horn. Now ask me: “Why?” and I wouldn't be able to answer clearly, but... The spell seemed to weave itself together, the horn glowed with a steady light, and I felt... something. I followed the strange sensation, that seemed to lead somewhere, and it led me to the nugget. A small, slightly cloudy diamond-shaped sapphire. And next to it I found two more, smaller ones. And with disbelief, I picked them up - the three precious stones! - from the ground, a hot wave of light went through my body, leaving a coveted cutie mark on my sides: those three diamond-shaped sapphires.” Rarity craned her neck and lowered her gaze to her thigh, apparently remembering that day. “It's a long way from the sewing room." I chuckled. “Nowhere near.” The unicorn smiled, straightening up. “One look at the stones was enough for me to realize their potential in my art. I sold the first three stones, enough to pay off all my debts and even to buy some materials. In the next few days, after asking my mentor for a day off, I went to the foothills, getting a lot of nuggets, and they were only the stones I could get: the spell pointed in the direction of just rock and under the ground sometimes. And then, back in the sewing room, I started making my first real works, which shone and shimmered in the light of the Sun and the Moon... That's how I ended up finding myself, when my unexpected talent organically complemented my love of the sewing arts. I was absolutely happy! And the next day I got a letter from home, the lines of which told me, that my parents were worried about me and... loved me. Happiest day of my life, I guess." The mare smiled warmly at the memory. “And she told me, that the happiest was when my parents and I arrived!” I shuddered at the outraged voice, coming from the hallway. So did Rar. “Sweetie is back...” She panted, looking at me with panic. “How could I talk for so long?!” “Hi, Rarity! Who are you...” The question stuck in the throat of the smile unicorn, frozen in place like an idol, when she saw me as she entered the kitchen. I don't know how, but I distinctly caught the transition from the filly's white coloring to lethal pallor. “Who is this lovely person, Rarity?” With a little bit of baby talk in my voice, I played up the surprise. It turned out unexpectedly natural... The little unicorn really looked very... Very! She looked plush against the skinny, angular Scootaloo, causing almost overwhelming desire to grab and squeeze her. Damn! A grown man, but it's hard to resist even for me... “A-a... This is my sister, Sweetie Belle, Nightmare...” The hostess panted nervously and somewhat shyly. “A familiar name...” I feigned thoughtfulness. “So it's you - the best Scootaloo's friend, right? She told me about you.” I smiled with lips only to the stoned filly. “I’m Nightmare Moon, can use just Nightmare. And don't “miss”!” I “sat down” on the ears of the obviously frightened mare, demonstrating friendliness. Otherwise, I wouldn't be able to affect her and Scoot's friendship... “Sweetie, don't be afraid.” Rarity joined me. “Nightmare is a good pony.” "Good ponies don't sacrifice anyone." She muttered incredulously, and, keeping her gaze on me, cautiously, in an arc, approached her sister. “Sacrifice?!” Rar became surprised and looked at me indignantly, clearly demanding explanations. “Scootaloo owes me for something.” I shrugged with wings. “We agreed on a sacrifice in my honor. Now I'm thinking: Diamond Tiara or Silver Spoon? Or maybe both at once, what do you think?” I looked at Sweetie with a hope. “Nightmare?!” Rarity exclaimed with shock, paling. “N-no one.” Her sister answered simultaneously. “They’re very nasty, but you can't...” “You can't? Ah, alas...” I sighed falsely. “And Scootaloo was against it as well. So we agreed on... Candies.” Rar exhaled, giving me a furious gaze. “On candies?” Sweetie asked again skeptically. “Well, you have tradition - collect sweets in my honor once a year, don't you? I don't know where you put them before, but I'm back now, and I'm mercifully willing to accept your sacrifices in my honor! I expect more from Scoot, understandably, than from the others." I announced with an arrogant face. “Enjoy your meal, Sweetie.” Meanwhile, the senior sister set the table for the junior one in a hurry. “Nightmare, can we have a second?..” Rar nodded at the door, giving me another harsh look. Didn't like the joke, ay? “Thanks, it was tasty.” I rose from the table, folding the napkin and snapping the shoes on my front feet. “Nightmare.” Rarity turned to me, when we went from the kitchen into the hallway-store. “Don't joke like that ever, I beg you! It’s completely unfunny and... You scared me.” Unicorn sighed. “You... Said so seriously...” “There’s a grain of joke in every joke.” I answered thoughtfully. “O, Celestia, Nightmare! Don't you tell me, that you really!..” The mare stared at me with shock. “Maybe not to that extent...” I accepted reluctantly. “But I won't let anyone offense Scootaloo. And any of my friends. You as well, Rarity.” “Thank you.” She smiled shortly. “But still, you could've been... A little bit more polite? At least towards kids?” “They're kids." Damn it. “If you're out of diapers and can string more than a dozen words together in a sentence, then you're old enough to be aware of your actions and be responsible for them." I cut her off. “Oh...” The unicorn rubbed her forehead. “Nightmare, maybe it could have been a thousand years ago, but the times have changed...” “But the idiots are still the same.” I ended for her. “Just get one thing: words kill. And often it doesn't even matter who said them. Scootaloo cannot fly - but just look at her age! And do you know how it would be if you start to laugh at it? She would not fly at all. Because she would believe she cannot do that!” In the hovering silence, the alicorn's keen ear allowed me to hear someone in the kitchen stomping quietly against the wall, obviously warming their ears to the conversation. I chuckled. “You sound as if..." Rarity made an indefinite gesture, trying to find the words. I didn't speak. You want to ask if "a set of negative emotions, ironically given a semblance of consciousness and a priori incapable of friendship" is familiar with how badly words can hurt? Familiar more than you think, Marshmallow. “Oh, sorry, please.” It seems the unicorn read something in my gaze. “It’s nothing.” I hardly swallowed the lump in my throat. An uncomfortable silence fell. “By the way...” I remembered one thing. “I remember Pinkie mentioning, that you don't like the nickname "Marshmallow”. Do you want to tell me why?” I wanted to defuse the situation, and I was counting on some funny little thing to do with the word or the confection, but judging by the way Rarity was frowning, there was nothing funny about the nickname. Defused. Good girl... “Don't do it if you don't want to.” I hastily put out my hoof in a stopping gesture. “I will. We have already begun to dig into the past...” “I haven't told you anything.” I countered. “The gaze was enough...” The mare shivered. “Sorry again. About Marshmallow... I was called that by an insensitive scoundrel, who later betrayed my trust and my love, to put it in a nutshell. I realize now, that it was probably no big deal, but the memory of the nickname is unpleasant." Rarity looked with a sad thoughtfulness into the distance. “Don't you remember the address of this “insensitive scoundrel”?” I narrowed me eyes in a predator manner. “As far as I can understand, he forgot to at least apologize, I’m right?” “He didn't even plan on that.” The unicorn sniffed disdainfully. “Later he had to leave town very, very hurriedly. I don't know if they caught him or not.” Wait... Is that what I think it is? If it is, I'm going to get that bastard out of the ground and... “What did he do to you?” I squinted angrily and asked quietly. “N-Nothing illegal!” Rarity's head was pressed back into her shoulders and her ears flattened. “And it didn't work out with me, even though I was trying my best at the time...” “Trying your best?..” I froze. I don't understand a bit... “Oh, I guess that didn't happen in the old days... The ones like that scoundrel are also sometimes called heartbreakers. They “collect” mares.” Rarity grimaced. “You meet a handsome, you pay him a compliment - he accepts it willingly, shows reciprocal interest... You give him flowers, invite him to a restaurant - well, all the things any normal mare, who wants to interest a stallion, does. A beautiful romantic period..." the fashion designer sighed dreamily. “People like him draw it out as hard as they can, taking advantage of a mare in love, so that after the first night with her they can laugh at her, dump her and brag to their friends about their latest "achievement". I was lucky, that the small-minded and ugly pony started bragging too soon... I heard him bragging about how he was "going to roast this Marshmallow soon" and other nasty things, and I realized, that he didn't want me at all... I was so sick... I fell in love with a stallion for the first time... Mutually, as it seemed - and then..." Rarity sighed as she summed it up. “Well, the nickname “Marshmallow” was given to me by this exact scoundrel.” “Got it...” I prolonged. “Bastard.” “Alas, there are such ponies..." The interlocutor cringed, and I suddenly choked on the air of the thought: “The idyll: two mares standing around talking about the eternal 'all stallions are assholes!'” Talking about their own, something dear to their hears... I was standing with my friend, listening to her unhappy love, feeling sorry for her... I felt a little uncomfortable in my soul. Now she's going to start asking me about Blueblood: if I've seen him and what he's like and all that, then we'll move on to dresses, and at the end of the day I'll walk out of here thinking of myself in the feminine sense. I'm going to get out of here, it's for my own good... “Thanks for telling me.” I smiled with lips only. “And for the hospitality as well. I think I’ll go. Was happy to see you!” “Not a big deal.” Rarity smiled in answer. “That incident doesn't bother me that much anymore. Goodbye, Nightmare, I'm waiting for you to practice telekinesis and... Oh, wait!” The unicorn changed her face. “We wanted to take your measurements! Wait!” I hastened the pace and hastily opened the door. It's not a long way ‘till the street. “Did we?” I feigned a surprised look. “Yes, we’ve said... Nightmare!” The mare exclaimed indignantly, stumbling. “Don't remember something like that!” I almost ran out into the street. “Nightmare, wait!” “No, Rarity, I don't remember!” I turned and waved goodbye to the unicorn, frozen in the doorway, smiling evilly at the same time. “Nightmare! This is a crime against beauty!” She exclaimed indignantly. “Bye-bye!” I turned around and immediately switched to a trot. “Nightmare, get back!” Words ran into my back. “Nope!” “Nightmare!..” 28. A Day of SurprisesAuthor's Note "There's a feeling, that this chapter wouldn't be loved by a lot. I don't know why. I hope I'm wrong) Enjoy your reading)" Original author's note. 28. A Day of Surprises “Famn it!” I cringed at the stupid sensation, that bordered on pain and tickling, and spit out the quill. The wings are great, of course, but taking care of them... After a meticulous look at the relatively straight row of feathers and deciding to be satisfied with what I saw for now, I folded the wing against the side. So much fuss! I want membranes... At least Twilight had a little book in the "for the little ones" series on how to keep oneself clean and why. It was about wings, too: rudimentary, without much detail, but not bad, for lack of a pegasus I knew who could explain and show me everything. I sighed wistfully and unfolded the second wing: it wasn't the end, damn it... The occupation made me feel a little melancholy, even despite the pleasant weather, a light warm wind, that brought a smell of water from the lake, and some bird, singing with reassuring chirping somewhere nearby. And just the mood itself was shit. At night I dreamed of some viscous haze, that left me in the morning with a sticky feeling of unease, lethargy, and a sore head. And also this yesterday’s spy didn't want to go out of my head... And Twilight, only added fuel to the fire with her story, when I decided to find out more about who I was dealing with, which led to two conclusions: the thestrals are extremely loyal to Luna, and they, unlike other ponies, are not known for their peacefulness. So, the question is: Why did Luna send that dummy after me? To say hi? Yeah... The “a knife to the throat” kind of hi... Damn, I didn't even think at first, that Luna might decide not to leave things undone. On the other hand, she's afraid of me - that's the first - and she'll get nothing from Tia for my death - that's the second. Celestia loves her sister too much to fear the consequences for anything. Plus, she could always tell Tia, that it was to protect her and stuff... So she could just as calmly and indifferently smoke her, blinding her by trust, and then, after a week of making a sad face for the camera, rule herself. As she wanted in the first place. I grimaced and pulled out and spit out another damaged feather. Canon, where are you when you're needed, huh?.. Why is local Luna a brutal, indifferent traitor, who doesn't care about anyone? She betrayed her sister, then, without the slightest hesitation, betrayed me, when it became profitable and when, from her point of view, one black alicorn was more trouble than it was worth. And now she's playing a sweet shyness on camera, and she's probably playing a heartwarming show to her sister, with tears and hands-wringing... hooves, damn it - and she's happy to believe it. And when she smokes Tia as indifferently as she did it to me... “Argh!!!” I howled, unluckily grabbing a nearby feather, that has nearly fallen out with a new one, intact and firmly held. And I've pulled it out to my own harm... I have to do something about this all. And in a situation, where Tia trusts Luna more, than she trusts me... I took my head away, looking at the result of my work. I guess it wasn't very good, but since I couldn't do it any better and I don't know how to do it more correctly, I'd have to call it a day. As for "what to do"... Calm down, assess the situation, and think. Maybe I'm just being paranoid on a flat spot?.. And no thestrals in loose dresses are watching me, huh? Sniffing, I got on my feet and dusted down. I rested - they don't hum anymore after the run. I could go back then... After charting a route away from the bushes, I headed towards Ponyville. ... “Howdy, Night!” The pink ponies jumped out in front of me as I walked leisurely through the streets of the town, contemplating. The mare was, as usual, cheerful and lively, with her saddle bags on the sides, and, by some miracle, had a square wicker basket on her back, that has stood firmly after the jump. Finally, a small crocodile rested in her lush mane, staring alternately with its eyes. “Go with us! You have awful mood and you just need a party! But honestly - there are no parties right now, but I think a picnic with friends, and in such great weather, could help you too! Let’s go!” I didn't get a word in edgewise from the hyperactive little pony. “Your presence alone is enough to make the mood less lousy." I couldn't help smiling. “Hi, Pinkie.” “Are you serious? Nice! Thanks!” The earth pony was beside me in the blink of an eye, and she stood on her haunches and briefly hugged me. The basket on her back didn't even move. “So, are you with us?” Going back, she looked with her big blue eyes at me without any fear at all. “O... Greetings, Nightmare...” “Ehm... ...!” The others have caught up with Pinkie: Applejack and Fluttershy, also with baskets. “If no one is against it - why not?” I shrugged with wings. “Hi everyone.” “Of course no one is against, Night!” The pastry chef said as a matter of course, not even glancing at her coming friends. AJ glared at me from under her hat and snickered skeptically, but said nothing. Flutty squeaked something affirmative. “Is it so?” I specified, narrowing my gaze to the pony with hat. You cannot relax in a company, where someone silently hates you. “Nah...” She backed up a bit. “Nice! Let’s go, or we're not going to get Twilight out of the books!” “From which one?” I arced my brow, going next to the pink mare. “From the one she's reading right now.” She “explained”. “Pinkie...” Applejack prolonged expressively. ... “Well, did you find the thestral from the market?” I caught up with Pinkie and unobtrusively pulled her away from the group as we, with Twilight, Spike, and Rarity joining us, headed out of town to find a cozy grassy clearing. “Nope!” She smiled. “She's a spy after all, it’s hard to find her! But it’s nothing - no one has gotten away from Pinkamina Diana Pie!” “I hope so...” I mumbled thoughtfully. “Pinkamina is your full name, yeah?” “Yep...” The mare darkened a bit. “It’s beautiful, but I don't like it a bit, honestly. Strict, as mother and father, and hard, as the life on a stone farm. And it seems to have something... Frightening.” I rubbed my forehead with a wing thoughtfully. “Yes? I like it. Lady Pinkamina.” I said as if tasting it. “Just add an expensive outfit, jewelry, straighten the mane - and this is it.” Pinkie clearly lost her pace a bit. “But it wouldn't be me.” She panted after a few seconds quietly and thoughtfully. “No this funny and curly Pinkie, but cold and isolated Pinkamina.” “You’re giving too much importance to the look.” I chuckled. “Is someone not satisfied with her look?” Fixing her mane pictorially, Rarity started to go next to the other side. “No wonder, because what kind of look can we talk about if there is no dress to complement and emphasize it, and some wear tasteless armor for a walk instead?” She looked at my cuirass with clear reproach. “Yeah, Pinkie just said her full name.” I chose to let the remark pass my ears: pfft, like she understands it! “I thought a straight mane and some sort of expensive outfit would go well with it.” “Pinkamina...” Rarity prolonged, as if tasting it, examining the cautious earthpony closely. “You know, there’s something in it... It must be formal, elegant... Color... Should try azure - it goes well with the eyes... Yeah... Pinkie, it really can be a good thing! How about stopping by me this week?” The unicorn proposed this to her with burning eyes. I sent the slightly dazed pastry chef an apologetic look. Put her in a tight spot for nothing... “Again standing and not twisting, yeah?” She sulked frustratingly. “It’s so boring! But also I can fit many-many beautiful outfits...” The pink pony dove into the suffering of choice. “I don't think anything will come of your idea, Rar, but at least we'll have a good time together all day as friends! I agree!” “Nice, dear! Then let’s meet tomorrow, after lunch?” “No-no-no, not tomorrow! Tomorrow I have...” I slowed my pace, letting the excitedly talking mares lead the way. That was... unexpected. Man, how could Pinkie take the idea of half a day of fitting positively? That's... A-a... These mares are strange none the less... Shaking my head in confusion and adjusting a bit loose bags on my chest with a move, I quickened the pace to not be left behind entirely. In fact, now that they were all together, it was interesting to see how they differed from one another. Applejack was a worthy sister to her brother - half a head taller than the others, but still leaving the impression of a stocky figure. Strong legs, broad chest, and her muscles were pretty serious under her fur. Pinkie was shorter, generally shallower, and did not give that impression of massiveness. Surprisingly, the pastry chef was quite slim and fit. The fattest in the company, unexpectedly, was Twilight! There was no belly and no lines on it, of course, but the overall roundness and streamlined shape gave that impression. Soft, I guess... I'll have to give her a hug sometime. Rarity was thinner, slimmer, and a little taller. And Fluttershy, to my surprise, was only smaller when compared to Applejack, and noticeably taller than the others. Long thin legs, a graceful neck... noticeable muscles. She also had the biggest eyes of all... Fluttershy blinked frightened and hastily hid behind her mane. I looked away: I’m just standing here and gawking at her, damn it... Actually, while I was looking around, it looked like we have arrived, and now Applejack, Pinkie, Rarity, and Spike were setting the "table. Twilight, carefully pretending that she was just thinking, was puffing away tiredly and clearly trying to stand up so that she didn't put a strain on her legs. “Citizen-sitter”, I chuckled. Flutty, demoralized by my intense gaze, tried to be transparent. “I'm sorry, I just fixed my eyes." I smiled with lips only as I came a little closer, and I couldn't help myself: “Your beauty is comparable only to your kindness, o, cute Fluttershy! I couldn't look away...” Even though it was mostly as a joke, but I didn't lie. The pegasus is really beautiful. “...!" She squeaked in her mane, rapidly turning red. “You shouldn't be embarrassed, darling!” Rarity joined me. “With a figure like that and these eyes, you should be modeling right away! You're beautiful! You need to shine on the runway, not wear yourself out with hard work!” “Oh... N-don't... I'd rather... Here..." somehow Flutty managed to squeeze out, blushing to the tips of her ears. “No one wants to demonstrate my dresses!” The unicorn sighed tragically, putting her wrist to her forehead in a gesture of despair, and glancing at me with a clear hint. “It’s sad to hear.” I nodded sympathetically. “It’s okay, there are lots of ponies, maybe...” “Hey, ladies! It's all set! Please, come to the table!” AJ's high-pitched voice interrupted our conversation. We were seated on a sun-drenched lawn, that overlooked the Canterlot Mountains, and I could even see Canterlot itself. Sandwiches and sweets dominated the tablecloth, which was filled with all sorts of goodies, but fortunately, Fluttershy's pastries added to the mix: I liked the filling and tasty cabbage, carrot, and potato pies. There was freshly squeezed apple juice and two small bottles of apple cider for the drinks, supposed to be about the same strength as kefir. I don't know how many degrees there are in cider, but it must not be more than seven. While I was eating the pies, mentally praising Fluttershy, the others were chatting more, trying to draw Twilight into the conversation as well. She hemmed, hummed and blushed and tried to figure out where to put herself, clearly feeling out of place in such simple conversations on mixed topics. In the end, the librarian, seizing a moment when no one was paying attention to her for a while, took a book out of her bags and immersed herself in reading, quickly becoming calm and enthusiastic as the pages rustled. I chuckled and glanced around at the others; unlike Twi, I wasn't being pulled into the conversation so insistently. Now Applejack and Pinkie were discussing some kind of recipe - apples in caramel or something... Rarity and Fluttershy were enthusiastically remembering some new collection of clothes from some famous fashion designer from the capital. The unicorn, at the same time, posed for Spike, as if unintentionally. She turns this way and that way, she fixes her mane, she wags her tail... I glanced in the direction of the young dragon and could hardly contain my laughter: Spike is cooked. The unblinking gaze is fixed on Rarity, a silly grin on his face, and an empty sandwich clutched in his paws, jam dripping down his right paw and onto the tablecloth, where a solid stain has already formed. “Twilight!!!” An indignant Rarity's exclaim distracted me from the dragon. “M? What?” She looked away from the book with ill-concealed displeasure. “Well-bred ladies don't behave like this!” The white unicorn moved her brows. “We've gathered to be together, and you're just reading!” “We-ell, yes... And?” Twi stared at the indignant designer blankly. “A-a...” Rarity couldn't find the answer, still looking daggers at Twilight. “Rarity is right, Twilight.” Pinkie looked at the Princess’ student a bit sadly. “This way you're showing, that the book is more important. As if we were something immaterial and unimportant to you...” The curly pony drooped. “But I!... But... But it’s!..” The unicorn rose up. “It’s not true, is it? Or... Or I’m... Or I’m such an awful friend!!!” She drooped in a moment. The ponies, who hadn't expected such a reaction, stared at Twilight in incomprehension. I waited with interest for the situation to develop. “You're a normal friend. You just don't see the outer world behind these books.” Spike grumbled, hurriedly ending with his sandwich during this time and now is looking for a something to dry his paw. “And in general - nothing awful happened...” “It did! I've ruined everything again!” Drooping with her ears, Twi looked up at the assistant with her tear-filled eyes. “Now everyone will know what a bad friend I am and no one would be friends with me! I wouldn't be able to study friendship and Princess would kick me out of the students! Wi... With sha-ame!” She sobbed with her nose. “I... It’s better for me to leave!..” At the dumbfounded silence of the others, the unicorn crookedly slipped her bags onto her back and, quickly shoving the book into one of them, dashed towards Ponyville, safely forgetting about the dragon. “Oh, I didn't want to touch her feelings...” Rarity became sad. “What the hay! What's gotten into her?..” Applejack pushed her hat back on the nape in bewilderment, and hurriedly got up and rushed after her. “Hey, Twi! ‘Wait! Where are you going?!” “Twilight, what are you talking about?” Pinkie swiftly passed me and joined the farmer. Rarity and Spike followed. As I glanced at Fluttershy, who was the last to join the chase, I surveyed the contents of the tablecloth and rubbed my hooves with pleasure. Well, you run there - a healthy thing to do. But this is all mine! I looked back and smirked, stealing the last potato pie from the Applejack's bowl on the table, that has not yet been touched. ... Twilight was caught up and hugged after all, and, after wiping away her tears, they persuaded her to come back. Now she was slightly embarrassed, casting appreciative glances at her friends and drinking her juice gently, embraced on one side by Pinkie and on the other by Fluttershy. The picture was so adorable, that it was impossible not to smile while looking at it. Rarity was looking at it, too, and smiling; Spike, having hastily indicated his involvement for Twilight, again fixed his gaze at the white unicorn; Applejack... was looking at me with a strange expression. “Ya coulda asked." The mare snorted quietly, noting my attention, pointing eloquently to her empty plate. “As if Rainbow wasn't enough... What an amateur to grab everything without any knowing what thing belongs to who...” “Sorry. Fluttershy's bakeries are too good.” I tried to smile innocently in answer, also making the pink-haired shyness blush again. “O! Applejack!” Pinkie rose up at the same moment as I answered. “You've been to Rainbow yesterday, haven't you? How is she doing? I hope she will be in a better state soon!” “Yeah, tell us, please!” Rarity supported the pink pony. “We all are very worried about her!” “Yeah, “all”.” Farmer looked askew at me for a moment with disgust. I looked back indifferently, forcing the dissatisfied pony to look away quickly. Imagine - I’m not really worried about a sportswoman, getting at me because of her very high intellect, which made me had a few unpleasant hours because of her strike. It is surprising, isn't it?” “Well, generally.” AJ continued, moving away from me a bit.” She's bored out there. Says she almost got up, and she's ready if not today - then tomorrow. But complained, that she’d be forbidden to fly some time for sure. And the house would have to be downed, for the time of her recovery... But our Rainbow is doin’ great, doesn't lose her morale! And she was so happy 'bout somethin’ - damn, like a pig in a pool under the Sun!” I chuckled. Nice comparison. “Was braggin’ about having such a thing, that we all gonna burn with envy, but didn't want to say it now. Said she would when she's out of the hospital. Honestly - don't even know what she’s talkin’ about... What the hay could she get, that it's so good?” Lifting her hat, the farmer rubbed the forehead perplexedly. “It’s... It’s a gift of mine...” Twilight stared at the ground blushingly. “You know, I... She is there because of me, as it turned out... Well...I've gifted her the ticket for “Grand Galloping Gala”.” The unicorn summed up quietly, digging nervously with a hoof. “Sorry, please! I wanted to invite every one of you, I really did! But Princess Celestia gave me two tickets and I... It seems I've chosen only her...” The magician said wistfully, stooping. I couldn't hold a smile. “Yeah... Understood.” AJ became surprised. “Nah, sugarcube, just don't ya think we're offended or somethin’, we understand it... But it’s of course a valuable gift, and every one of us would have been happy to have one...” The earthpony still couldn't hold a quiet note of envy in her voice. “Then I’m happy!” Pinkie exclaimed with a wide smile. “I have an invitation too! Here!” The mare dipped her hoof into her mane, rummaged through it concentrically, got a perplexed expression on her face, and then, shining, removed her crocodile from her mane, clutching the familiar golden plate in its toothless mouth. “Yeah! Here it is!” The expressions on the faces of the surrounding ponies showed varying degrees of surprise and bewilderment. I couldn't tell who was more surprised: Twilight and Applejack, who knew nothing, or Rarity and Fluttershy, who didn't know either, but now must have something to think about. I, trying to keep a brick face, was inwardly enjoying what was going on. “Oh... As amazing as it is, I have to admit, I have an invitation, too..." The snowy unicorn squinted at me. "Yay! Nice!” Pinkie jumped. The eyes of the rest of the crowd got even bigger, and a smirk crept onto my face. I couldn't keep a brick face anymore. “Mm... Well... I'm a little embarrassed to admit it, but... I... happen to... have... an invitation, too..." The yellow pegasus, her face darkening nicely, dug with her hoof. “You too! Hurrah!” The chef jumped again. “But from where?!” Twilight yelled, not having even a clue. Applejack, for her part, stared dumbfoundedly into the void. The gazes of first the three mares, gifted with coveted tickets - and then the rest of the gathering - crossed over my satisfied smile. Ye-es!.. It was not for nothing that I gave them separately to each of them, and with a hint, saying, "You don't have to tell me much.” I had returned relatively early from Canterlot and had enough time to go around everyone and did so in an evening, hoping to see the surprise of Twilight and the lucky girls themselves the next day... But for some reason, the unicorn acted as if she had not received any invitations from Tia... I see why now. “Nightmare, dear.” Rarity woke up first. “Thank you very much again, but... Why didn't you say anything? I felt awful, thinking, that of everyone I’ll be the only one to come on that beautiful holiday!” “But the surprise was nice, wasn't it?” I smiled with satisfaction. “Just great! So great, that “Yay”!” Pinkie jumped to me and hugged me tightly. “Thanks-thanks-thanks!” “Don't mention it, lady Pinkamina.” I feigned - as far as it's possible when laying and hugging someone fluffy - a ceremonial bow. “It wasn't a big deal.” “Now you won’t forget that, yeah?” Pinkie darkened for a moment, however, in the next second, she made a formal face and said: “Nevertheless, lady Nightmare, let me show you my gratitude and assurances of my true friendship!” I chuckled. “I agree. It seems silly, when I am not me.” The chef giggled. “Don't underestimate your acting talent!" Rarity insisted. Pinkie, hugging me one last time, moved over to her, quickly engaging in the discussion, and I was suddenly gingerly touched on the other side. “M-m... Nightmare, can?.. Well... Won't I bother you much?.. I mean...” Fluttershy tried to be smaller under my gaze. “Don't be shy.” I tried to cheer her up with a smile. “What’s that about?” “Well... Um... I feel really bad about asking and... Um... But, if it's not too much trouble... Do you... Do you have another ticket?” The pegasus panted with a clear strain. “Just mine. I've had only four.” I answered, not completely understanding what she's talking about. Something was at the edge of my mind, but I couldn't hold this thought. “Oh... That’s sad...” Flutty darkened. “It means Applejack won't have one...” Damn it. A vague guess finally took shape: I took tickets for three, expecting, that Twilight would have to choose between Dash and Jack, bringing the situation to the canonical, with a letter to Tia... And Twilight, out of guilt, immediately gave her invitation to Rainbow, who was in a hospital bed because of her screw-up. And, as a result, our pony in the hat was left out... “Hey... I’m happy, that my friends are that lucky and stuff...” Applejack tried to feign a smile. Forced completely: it was easily seen, how bad and painful it's for her. “Okay, you... Have fun out there, I have things to do on the farm...” The harsh farmer dashed away a tear furtively. She got up slowly and, forgetting the basket, wandered sullenly away. There was a heavy, tense silence at the table. Twilight was digging at the ground with her hoof, Spike was running his eyes and scratching the back of his head in confusion, Rarity was biting her lip painfully, looking after her friend, and Fluttershy was hiding from the world under her wings and mane. Even Pinkie stared sullenly at the ground and sighed. No one was in a hurry to run and console AJ. What's there to say? We have, and you don't, and you won't... I have a ticket. I glanced at the bags hanging on my shoulders. It's the last one, but it's not really necessary, after all. I wouldn't get anything out of going to that circus. Applejack, really, neither... But it is, after all, her dream - even if she's not entirely aware of the shortcomings of it. Well, yes, Applejack and I don't get along very well - that makes sense. But she's not a bad pony on the whole, and it's... wrong to let her pass by a long-awaited and coveted holiday like that. And it's sickening to look at the rest of them, too. Okay, fuck with these nobles, they’d be fine even without me. I got up with determination, and, under the bewildered glances of the four ponies and the dragon, I followed the farmer, who has her hat pulled down over her eyes and was walking slowly towards Ponyville. “Applejack!” I pulled her tail with telekinesis, quickly moved round her and stood before. “Let me go!” I was ordered under the hat dully. “Give me your hoof.” I unceremoniously grabbed hold of AJ's front leg, forcing her to stretch out in front of me and twist her hoof upward. “Hey!” Finally, Applejack looked up, her green eyes gloomy with tears glistening in the corners of them. “Take it. You need it more." I put the gold card from my bag onto her outstretched hoof, and without waiting for a reaction, I walked back. “I-ah... Wait!” AJ's startled voice caught up with me a dozen seconds later. I stopped and turned to see the farmer, running after me. “Thanks and things, but...” She caught up to me, started to shy and, hesitating, stretched out a hoof with the ticket back. “Listen, I can't take that. It’s yours, isn't? You don't have any left?” “Mine.” I nodded. “And I can do anything with it. Like wanting to give it to you, for example. Take it, don't make things up.” I chuckled, turning around and coming back to the others without a hurry. “I’m just, like, an acquaintance to you... Not the best one... Why?” Pony caught up to me. “For me it's a piece of paper, for you - a dream.” I moved with a wing. “And I don't really want to see sad faces. If it suits you - I did it more for them than for you.” “Heck yeah, but I can feel it, that you're doing that not just because of profit...” The earthpony stared at me with a long, thoughtful gaze. I shook my head silently, not knowing what to answer. Just... You're a good pony, Applejack. And leaving you alone here would have been wrong - that's it... ... Upon my return, I received a small flurry of thanks from the worried mares and from Applejack herself, who finally gave up the idea of returning the invitation to me. And her cider was just the right thing to drink for the happy resolution of the situation, and then the picnic began to wind down. And just before leaving, I unexpectedly got an extremely insistent invitation from AJ to come down to her farm. I didn't refuse: I just didn't have any plans for the rest of the day, so now I was walking beside the farmer, who is walking almost like Pinkie - with leaps and jumps. “Thank ya again, Nightmare.” The earthpony turned to me, when we went far away from the place of the picnic and walked down a grassy path. “But I still feel awkward. How are you?..” “Anyhow.” I moved ming wings phlegmatically. “I can imagine what this event is - and I’m not interested in it.” “Not interested? But it's Grand Galloping Gala!” The farmer clearly didn't understand my position. “Typical nobles’ gathering.” I waved away. “Protocol conversations about weather, quiet orchestra, slow and complex dances - it’s just a mask for their underground affairs. The only thing of interest is a lavish buffet with a lot of exquisite delicacies, which you can't taste anywhere. No solemn sacrifice to the glory of the Princesses, no bloody battles in the arena between the slaves captured in the raids, no festive orgy at the end... It is a dreary party. It’s no match for the past..." I rolled my eyes dreamily, "remembering" the good old days. Applejack lost her pace and stared at me with a savage look. “Ph-h!” I snickered, not being able to hold it, looking at her straightened face. “Joking, of course.” “Your jokes give me creeps.” The mare shivered. “Don't joke like that, would ya? Not funny at all!” “Well, this is how I can.” I chuckled, earning an indignant look of the pony. For some time we walked in silence, the silence was broken only by the sound of our footsteps and birds, chirping around us. The path was crossed by two cows, who forced us to slow down: one was chewing intently, the other was... telling her something passionately, bursting into laughter at every word. I, for the umpteenth time, cringed my brain, feeling how this world was mocking me, throwing up all kinds of inadequate shit. I, for the umpteenth time, cringed my brain, feeling how this world was mocking me, throwing up all kinds of inadequate game. The cows... Chatting... As I followed the cows with a gaze slowly, I noticed another odd detail, that was supposed to be covered by magic... But no: both cows were showing off a large pink udder between their legs. “How?” I transferred my blank stare to the farmer. “They're sentient, aren't they?” “Wha? A, this...” AJ looked at the cows for a moment. “They are, of course. But not like ponies... Have brains to talk, but not to think.” She chuckled. “And their shown udders are a kind of custom or something... They don't use the cover. It's like, if you hide it, it means you're ashamed, you haven't grown anything. What kind of cow are you then? You'd be laughed at.” “Yeah...” Chuckling, I rubbed my forehead. “Cows aren't the only ones that... Strange, sugarcube.” Applejack noted my chuckle. “Pony can be strange, too, y’know... You maybe haven't heard that, but I had been living in Manehattan for a while - so much of these strange ones, you just can't imagine!” “What, they’re walking around the streets without the cover?” I suggested as a joke. “Yep, right like that.” My companion nodded absolutely not joking, chuckling. “What is natural is not dirty!”, “Don't avoid your natural beauty!” Pftt...” She sniffed. I chuckled with a loss. You know, it was a joke after all... Cursed Horses... “Not only that, by the way.” The mare continued as if nothing happened. “There's fools, thinkin’, that the Moon and the Sun are moving themselves, and Princesses do nothing. These are, what's they called?.. Vevotarians? Vegetarians. H-hay, don't remember it... Like these ones, who don’t eat milk products! At all! Can you imagine that? No milk, no butter, no eggs - nothing! All as one, skinny, cheeks hollow, ribs visible, but all the same - "let's not be like griffins and consume animal food!” I itched my brow with a shoe in prostration. Ponies-vegans. Life didn't prepare me for this... “And these, the ones that “nothing to be ashamed of”, are just the most famous from the local fools. O, remembered! “Social movement” it’s called. In Manehattan there are as many as apples in the fall.” I had somehow thought, that such leisure time was more typical of the inhabitants of the capitals... However, how do I know, maybe it's even worse in Canterlot?.. “And why?..” I asked the space rather rhetorically. “Who can tell?..” Applejack chuckled. “The good life's gone to their heads, if you ask me - that’s the whole story. And yeah, we’ve come! Welcome to "Sweet Apple Acres”, Nightmare!” The farmer, not without pride, waved with her hoof at the apple orchards spread out before us in the lowlands, and a few vaguely familiar buildings. “I've been here, you know.” I chuckled. “Oh, “I've been, I've been”!” The earthpony waved away with a feeling. “Sorry, okay? I behaved myself back then like... A-a...” She didn't find the words. “Not a big deal.” I emphasized a smile as a reply. “Your distrust was understandable for me personally.” “Yeah?” I was looked up with great, unhidden skepticism. “Even our Princess trusted you - only I looked like a fool around here... But you nearly hammered Dash and you know...” It looks like the pony with a hat dove into doubts again. I shook my head with a chuckle. “Do you have something between you and Rainbow?” A surprise question almost made me stumble. “I don't have anything against her - as plainly as it is.” I oriented. I have serious doubts about farmer asking about affaire d'amour... So I think she's interested in my attitude towards the painted one. And I don't have any. “She ran into me - she got a blow, the question is closed. If she does more - she will get more. If she doesn't - well, she won't get more.” I shrugged with my wings, and, summing up, added. “By the way - it works with everyone. Except Fluttershy and, maybe, Celestia... She's a hard one.” “No guess.” AJ sniffed, fixing her hat. “I’m not about what you have just thought.” I peered at her. “I just really can't imagine a situation, in which she would run into me...” And why, if she just can look at me with a long, sorrowful gaze and sigh?.. Damn it, and how does she always nail it?.. ... So, with a slow chat in the background, we arrived at the gate of the farm, where Applejack, after throwing off her bags, gave me a little tour, not without enthusiasm. She showed me the legendary volt-apples, the kind of tree that buzzes like a transformer, next to which the mane and tail stand up on end, and careless insects evaporate with the sonorous clicks of discharges, made an impression. The rest of the farm also looked impressive: a huge apple tree forest, a vast basement under the house filled with barrels, a corral with pigs... The latter, to my disappointment, were needed by the Apples not for meat but for... manure. The cows' one, of course, was, according to the farmer, much better, but the cow with its delicate mental organization could raise its horns for a request to share... Well, the pigs, which were not much different from the ordinary animals of the Earth, did not suffer from such abstruse high-mindedness - so they were used. Yeah... At least someone here didn't have an opinion, or else the farms would die out because of endless agreements with cows, pigs, and even apple trees - who gets what and how much from whom... What a crazy world. ... “Mac, granny, I’m home!” Applejack soundly signaled our arrival: the farmer stubbornly insisted on introducing me to everyone. Why does she need it, huh?.. “Hi." The red stallion said phlegmatically, looking out into the hallway and giving us an indifferent look. He's a big fuckin' guy... Only a little shorter than me, but he's as powerful as a tank. He was not pumped up, though he had plenty of muscle - he's just huge in and of himself. Mac, meanwhile, saluted us with a hoof, turned and, swinging his croup, disappeared out the door, leaving me to think angrily and confusedly: how and why did I even notice the last thing?! Let you!.. Damn it!.. “M-m... Granny made some cakes...” AJ helped me to get back into the reality, stretching out her nose and rolling eyes dreamily. I reflexively sniffed after her. M-m... The picnic was a long time ago, right?.. ... “Try some more strudel!” “No, thank you, I've had enough...” “Huh? Try strudel I say!” “Thanks, but no! I've had enough!” “Whaddya mean "enough"? Sitting here, with ribs being seen!” “And somehow no one noticed except you.” I muttered quietly, pushing my plate away with determination. Granny Smith seemed at first frightened of me and not at all happy to meet me... Until, a few minutes later, she found my ribs protruding, and I immediately turned from "terror flying on the wings of night" to "poor unfed mare”. Well... My ribs were noticeably bulging, of course, but comparing me to an anatomical guide? On the other hand, I weighed about half as much as Celestia did, at the same height... In any case, trying to fatten me up right now was doomed, but only the old green pony wasn't embarrassed by such things... And it wouldn't be such a problem if granny didn't also cook so good... I looked around the table in puzzlement as I finished the rest of the pie. I listened half-heartedly to Applejack's contented speech about the founding of Ponyville by her ancestors, while Big Mac chewed phlegmatically - as he did everything else - while trying not to look in my direction: the big guy had no emotions as a characteristic, but I could tell he was somewhat wary of me when I looked closely at him Apple Bloom, on the other hand, was staring at me all eyes, showing outright fear mixed with... admiration? Granny, in her turn, has so far switched from me to her: the little one hardly touched her food at all, and this did not go unnoticed. Oh... I have to go. While I still can... Pinkie hadn't been able to tell me anything concrete about the thestrals, and I bet those vampires would have a lot of fun killing me if I ate too much now... Thinking about Luna servants ruined my mood immediately. By the way, I was thinking of trying to get information on them again tonight: maybe Twilight has something, that I wasn't already familiar with... “Oh... Fine... Thanks a lot for the goods, it was matchless! But I think it’s time to go.” I stated my decision and started to get out of the table. I had to endure a small but hard fight with grandma, and, in the end, I managed to escape Granny Smith's hooves with a promise to stop by again sometime, trying to put the big slice of pie this grandmother had handed me on the way. Saying goodbye to everyone again, I walked out in the street, feeling my belly lift my wings and seem to rub against my knees when I walk... “Sorry about that.” Applejack caught up to me. “Grandma can be sometimes...importunate." “Not a big deal. Cutest mare.” I chuckled. “But I have to visit you less often, or a belly, dragging on the ground, will destroy all my reputation.” “Sorry for sincerity, sugarcube, but your reputation will not be worse already.” The farmer examined me. “Easy talk.” I insisted. “Will get fat, kind, get a cute dress - and it definitively would.” AJ sniffed - I think she tried to imagine that. “You're a strange one...” She concluded after a few seconds of silence. “I cannot understand why you think, that when everyone fears you it’s a good thing...” “We are all strange ones in our own way.” I noticed philosophically. “And still: why do you think like that? I want to understand.” The orange mare didn't want to leave me alone. “Why...” I sighed. Got a grip on me, damn it... “Because those, who are afraid, see only my reputation in me. And those, who can see me behind it, are not afraid. Like Pinkie, like Rarity... Like you now, maybe. And... I have to go, I think. Goodbye.” “See you there...” Applejack said slowly, when I was already a dozen of meters away. I shook my head silently and hastened the pace. You're not a bad pony, Applejack, just sometimes too curious... Interesting thing - would we get along or not... Anyway, the first step is done. But do I need it?.. ... “N-nightmare! Can I speak to you? I t-think it's to you...” The worried unicorn's voice sounded below. What the hell is over there?! Putting the book aside with a sigh, I moved to the stairs reluctantly. Twilight was found next to the entrance, nervously examining the frontal door. “What?” The mare shivered from my voice. “Came... To you, I guess... Said, that they would outside...” She explained confusedly. To me? Guests, yeah... When night came down. “Who?” “Thestrals...” Fuck. “Many?” “I don't know...” Damn it! Luna has sent a team of liquidators! And what a fighter I am now... “Why do they need me - did they say it?” I moved towards the stairs quickly. The unicorn trotted after me. “I think they want to be assured, that you're alive. Well, as far as I understood it...” Yeah. Be assured, that alive and end this mistake. Fuck it, we've got problems... Got the armor quickly. Hissed as my mane snagged on my helmet again. Head was blank. I think there's even less chance of escaping than there is of defeating them. If it makes sense to think about it at all, with negative values for both the first and the second... For the tenth time, checking the armor fasteners and latches, I burst out angrily. Enough stalling! What's the use? I went out onto the balcony, took a deep breath, jumped over the railing, and gently glided to the ground. Well... I tried. The armor made a difference: I almost lost my balance. The hasty landing was louder than I would have liked - on the road, with a distinct clang of hooves on the stone instead of a relatively quiet landing on the grass, a few meters further... “This is she!..” Fucking hell! Spotted me, freaks! You can say goodbye to the at least attempt of the first hit “It’s really she!” Turned sharply to the voice. The firefly is on stand-by: it should be especially effective in the darkness, the only thing I must do is to close my eyes faster enough. “The Great, is it you?” The owner of the voice approached suspiciously and cautiously a bit. Yellow eyes with a narrow pupil, purple armor, purple, almost colorful hair, big fluffy ears. The wings are folded, but it is clear without a word - they are webbed. It... It doesn't seem like an attack... Looked back. I glanced up, remembering about the wings - seems clear for me. What are they trying to do? Wait. I’m a fool! What’s the use of my body for Luna right now? She would have to pin Tia’s death on someone! These bastard want to get me alive! Meanwhile, the approaching stallion was quickly and quietly joined by a few more bats with wings. Six in all. Considering, that I can imagine their capabilities very poorly, and they mine - thanks to the spies - quite well, it's the end. But you won't get me alive, you bastards! “It's a pity Luna sent so few of you, bastards... You can't make a big pyramid out of six heads." I grinned crookedly. “Well, come on! Come closer! Who is eager to drop dead first?!” Pointless bravado. I probably won't get more than two. But that doesn't mean I won't try! A bloodthirsty grin came out of my face by itself, and pure adrenaline ran through my body instead of blood. The thestrals stopped. I looked around again, searching for a possible approach from the side. I don't see anyone... Bastard. “Mistress Nightmare Moon?” The same stallion asked somewhat hesitatingly. “Heck no, Princess Celestia!” I chuckled nervously. “Are you picking on me or Luna just didn't even depict the look of the one you've come to kill?” “To kill?!” The mouse with wing rounded his eyes very naturally. “Yeah. Keep saying, that you've come just to call me for a picnic.” I chuckled. But the thestrals' behavior was still questionable: they didn't try to approach or surround me, they stood still... And were they waiting for the second squad to attack me in the back? Or weren't they?.. “How much of you are here?” “Half a dozen, Mistress. Everyone is before you.” The purple pony bowed shortly. “I, Silent Charge, and the other warriors of the Eclipse Wing swear by the light of the stars, that we have no malice against you, and that our intentions towards you are purely peaceful. May the Night be a witness to our oath!” Thestral bowed in a special way. “We swear!” The others affirmed in unison, bowing in the same manner. We stared at each other. Silently. Take for granted? I may be an idiot, but I'm not that stupid... On the other hand, these are not human beings, and this is not Earth, where only a document had weight, and verbal agreements were the preserve of close friends and relatives... “I don’t know such an oath. How should I know this is not a trap?” I narrowed my eyes, examining the leader of the thestrals watchfully. “Especially after you spying on me.” “We weren't spying.” He shook his head. “Mountain Dew went to this town just to check on the rumors of your return.” “I'm sorry if I made you nervous. I didn't mean for it to be that way." A nearby thestral spoke up. “As for the oath... I'm afraid I have nothing to offer but my word." Silent moved with his wings. “Ask me, if you have questions. I’ll answer. Maybe this would persuade you in our peaceful intentions?” A good thought. “What is your connection to Princess Luna? I thought every thestral serves to her.” “No. So far, only a few wings have officially sworn to her: Star Cover, Night wind, Moon Shield, Mountain Guardians, and a few others. The news of her return has reached us, too." The stallion nodded. “But... It wasn't Luna, who led us in that - alas, fateful - battle for our future. That alicorn's name was Nightmare Moon. And it was she, that my distant ancestors followed.” “You know it was, in fact, the same alicorn, right?” I narrowed eyes. “I know. One body - two souls. It’s written in our legends.” “And you decided to choose the losers’ side?” I was surprised. “You exist only because of Luna!” I don't understand... “Yes. And we're thankful to her for it. But still... She did nothing to give us any decent place in this life. Thanks to her, we lived, but we were nothing. And you, unlike her, had the courage to speak out against this state of affairs.” “It didn't end well.” “Unfortunately, the queen was stronger then." The thestral nodded somberly. “But now that she's relaxed..." He didn't finish meaningfully. “She has Luna and part of your clans... wings on her side.” I insisted. Not that I had any plans for Tia, but it was interesting to hear suggestions on the subject. “On her side?” Thestral chuckled. “Our Mother, unfortunately, does not care enough about her children to go out against the Fury of the Sun, but she is not on her side. She is on her side: sitting back and waiting for things to get better on their own!” “Hold your disrespect to the Great Mother, Silent!” One of the thestrals interrupted their commander. “The fact, that she did not go against her sister, even if evil and oppressive, does not cheapen her Action for our sake!” “I’m not going to discuss it with you again! Especially now!” The stallion replied sharply. “Sorry for this scene, mistress.” He turned to me with a bow. “I see, you still respect Luna... To some extent.” I tilted my head sideways thoughtfully. “But you think, that she’d not help Celestia, right?” “Right...” Thestral scowled, trying to understand my thought. Do I even need the thestrals’ service? On the one hand, yes, it certainly wouldn't be unnecessary. These guys would be far more willing to be teachers and instructors in various areas of interest to me than ponies. They would my own scouts, architects, fighters and blacksmiths. Living with such a rear, I suppose, would be much more peaceful and fun. Especially since the thestrals catch and eat fish. M-m... On the other hand, the bats clearly have certain plans for me and, accordingly, will count on my fulfillment of certain obligations. And it is doubtful, that they will stand for long neglecting them... They will be disappointed and, at best, throw me out under snow, or even stab me at night and bury me in a ravine... In any case, my reputation among them after this will be below the plinth. I won't go against Tia: I don't need to. And they, since they respect Luna, though not all, and not always, will not go against her. In that case, I shouldn't trust them at all, especially since I won't get much use or help from an alliance against the blue horse... Or will I? “You may have noticed, that I thought you were Luna's killers, coming for my head. Must I explain, that an alliance with me will automatically make you her enemies? Her and those of you, who have joined her?” Charge froze like a statue, staring through me. I chuckled quietly, turning my gaze to the pony formation behind him: the other mousewings, by and large, reacted the same way. As was to be proved... Judging by their words, it was unlikely they'd be willing to go against Luna out in the open. In fact, they probably don't need to. These fellows would be more trouble than good. Though I could use some help, of course... I don't know. I don't trust them. “But... Isn't it more important, that we strike the Queen now?” The stallion hastily suggested that as he got back in reality. “Then what?” I chuckled. “And then war with Luna: don't you think, that I’ll forgive her betrayal and stab in the back, do you? And how many of you are ready to go against her?” “Betrayal?..” Charge asked again with a loss. “But you... In the legends..." He looked around helplessly at his subordinates, as if looking for support, but they were not at their best as well. “Why?!” Mountain Dew spoke up in a cracked voice. Damn it, didn't even notice when she came closer... “You... You're parts of the same whole!.. How can you fight each other?.. It’s... It’s wrong...” It’s better to shoot myself than being a part of such whole!.. I’m not going to fall to Luna's level! “Go explain it to Luna.” I advised, narrowing eyes gloomily. “It was her idea to rule and not share. One small issue: I just didn't want to silently die for some reason!” I looked around at the silent thestrals, feeling a deep irritation spreading inside me. “My word: either you swear an oath to me, and then you go all the way, or you refuse, get out of here, and never show your face again. So?” I froze in place, gazing intently into the eyes of the mousewings one by one. They looked at each other with a loss, looked away hastily, someone was staring at the ground... “We..." Charge paused uncertainly, speaking. "I mean, thestrals... We fought for a long time because we couldn't... Because we thought one or the other of your incarnation was more true. That was... That was our mistake. Both are true, equal in value... Though we have different views of them... We won't dare to choose sides, Great. No thestral would." He shook his head, looking to his feet. “Then I won't keep you any longer." I pointed at the night sky demonstratively. “Forgive us, Great... We can't... It's like choosing between cutting off your left wing or your right..." The dejected thestral commander squirmed. “Forgive us... And farewell.” Charge stepped aside, and the thestrals, indecisive and talking briefly about something with frowning faces, flapped their wings and silently disappeared into the darkness. Well... At least they would not support Luna... Although that's what I want to believe. But should they be trusted? Certainly not. If really, this “enemy within” guy like me should not trust anyone here, but... Pinkie, Rarity... Twilight, to some extent... Am I making a mistake?.. 29. Embraces of The AbyssStallion closed in on me with a powerful impulse, laying down his hooves onto my back. “Ah!” Ni-ice! I even lost my breath!.. The big guy moved with the methodicalness of a machine, pushing me into the couch and making me moaning in a muffled groan. O-o... This really tonifies!... Ah!.. Earlier... Feelings were... Of course different... But this... A-ah!.. Really amazing! I sho-o-ould... Meet!... Him!... More often!.. O-oh! Stallion stopped, giving me a break. Yea-ah, tonic massage, which does Bulk, differers from the relaxing one, which does spa-pony, as an armored military suburban car differs from a pompous and important car of premium class. I realized this as soon as the pegasus piled on my back with his more than considerable weight after a slight muscle warm-up, instantly squeezing all the air out of me and then, for the last few minutes, made me gasp and my spine crunch miserably. “Oh!” I coughed chokingly again in the next second, feeling my eyes glazing over: he pressed me heartily. “S-sorry.” Bodybuilder became confused. “Yeah... F-f... It’s okay, keep up.” Restoring breath, I nodded. “A! Of...” In the next few minutes I felt what dough feels again, when it's being pressed down, kneaded and rolled. Bulk didn't stop afterwards, continuing to work on my poor back. By the time the masseur moved on to relaxing my muscles with gentle strokes, I felt somewhat dazed and driven. But damn, it’s still cool! “Right wing, please...” Pegasus mumbled, unfolding a lodgment from under the cot, and I think it's needed to work with an unfolded wing, and it's easy to be removed if you don't need it. Gently put my rows of feathers onto it, looking at the stallion himself at the same time. He looked nervous and strained, beads of sweat shined on his rough face. Comrade Biceps had a rather noticeable contrast between appearance and character. He was a big, imposing pegasus, not much smaller than Big Mac, with rugged facial features that referred to "The Terminator," powerful muscles, that rolled like boulders under his skin... At the same time, it cost a lot of effort to persuade Balk to work on Nightmare Moon herself, and, clearly, he would be much more enthusiastic to get away from me now... However, the bodybuilder, who agreed in the end, did his work, despite this, and pressed me so that the bunk was arching. Pegasus, meanwhile, went through the wing's thin bones carefully, causing shivers up and down by his touches. I shuddered. Wings are a delicate zone, after all, and I don't want to give them to anyone, it’s uncomfortable. And a little bit ticklish... “So... Bulk Biceps, right?” I decided to start a conversation. Initially, I thought I'd come up after the massage, but... What if he runs away? “R-right.” He answered shyly after a small pause. “Can I ask a tactless question of a personal matter?” Pressure on the wing vanished. I turned around to see blushing stallion with a gaze, running all around in panic. What he?... Da-amn.. I understood my own question and felt, how warm starts to fill cheeks, and hastened to look away. Mare, stallion, alone. Massage. Nice representation, pal. Yeah... “Well, it's... I... I don't know...” He finally panted. “Do you know how to fly?” I spitted in a hurry, counting this as a yes. “Don’t think it's an idle curiosity.” I thought it'd be good to make it clear. This time, pause was longer and somehow more nervous. “I do.” Masseur said gloomily and returned to my wing, cricking with a joint immediately. I shivered from the surprise. “Excuse me...” “Not a big deal.” I waved away an unpleasant dragging feeling in mind. “Did you train yourself or someone trained you?” “Depends...” Hesitating, interlocutor answered. It was clear by his voice, that this topic is unwanted for him. But it's a pro of having such a reputation such as mine - you cannot say no, you're scared. Anyways, I wouldn't beat around the bush. “Maybe you know Scootaloo? Orange pegasus, student, eight-nine-ish years - I didn't specify...” “M-m... No, I don't.” Masseur answered, freezing for some time again. “Okay...” I nodded. “Generally, she cannot fly in her age. And she has very tiny wings... When I saw you, I thought, that if you're able to fly yourself, you can know what’s wrong and maybe help her somehow.” I reported shortly. It was a little bit uncomfortable to speak on such topics with strangers, but... Leave things as they are?... Out of the question. Bulk, stopping again, mused, fixing gaze at the floor. “Pegasus, who wanted to help her, left her behind... Decided to not muck about with her. Don't fly - do not start, then.” I stiffened the thrust. “Well, I... I’m not a coach, you know... I've never taught someone and...” Pegasus shied. “At least you've taught yourself, and you know what can be a problem.” I insisted. “I don’t know.” Big one shifted from one foot to the other hesitatingly. “And... It’s strange, that you... ask for it... Sorry.” He laid back his ears frighteningly. It was rather comical when performed by such a huge guy. Nevertheless, his clear dread, like during the first meeting, vaporized, and rational wariness towards me... Looked pretty relevant. “Let’s say I... Owe Scootaloo.” Cringing, but I still made it clear. “I think, that help in finding a new coach instead of that double-crosser would be appropriate. Are you satisfied with this answer?” “S-sure.” Pegasus swallowed nervously. “Sorry for my... I...” Lost and embarrassed Bulk froze for a moment, then stood at rigid attention and loudly, almost screaming, said: “I didn't want to! I’m sorry! Please, don’t send me to the Moon!” “At ease, soldier. I won't scowl you.” Slowing with the answer in perplexity, I gave permission to the stallion. “Have you served?” “No.” Bulk returned to his normal tone. “Wanted to, but didn't make it through the screening process.” He explained with a sigh. “Ah... Well... It helps in feeling yourself more sure. Helps a bit.” “Okay. Will you help the pegasus?” “I'd like to.” The big guy made a helpless gesture with wings. “But I don't know for sure what to do and how and... What if it’s a failure?” “If it is, it would not be worse in any case - there’s nowhere to fall.” Biceps silenced for a while, stepping aside and looking at his feet. He spread his wings, as big as a teenager's, looked at them, rubbed his forehead with his hoof... “Fine...” He finally sighed sharply and shook his Iroquois decisively. “Pegasus’ life without sky is a bad one, it shouldn't be like that. I’ll try. Where to come?” “M-m... Do you still sell things at the market, don't you?” I decided to clarify just in case. “Yeah...” Pegasus shied. “People say a lot of ponies is a good thing for surety and... I like to see when they’re happy. Bough a sweet - you'd think, that’s nothing serious, but the mood rises at once.” Bulk smiled shyly. “Nice.” I smiled with my lips only as well. “Then it’s easy: I’ll tell her to find you at the market, and then you’d work it out between yourselves, you're not children.” “Okay, I’ll be there.” Pegasus nodded. There was almost no fear in his eyes, but some respect appeared instead... However, he still glanced away from my eyes. “Let’s continue?” I unfolded the wing, that was put back in its place during conversation unawarely. “Yeah, of course! Excuse me.” Biceps started to massage again. ... A-ah, what a pleasure... I, throwing head back and shutting eyes, collapsed blissfully into a small swimming pool in almost human pose, putting fore legs onto the edge and resting my back against it. The hot water enveloped the thoroughly wrinkled body with pleasure, relaxing the tense muscles, as after a good comprehensive training, at the same time, however, reliably washing out of the body all the received tone and leaving in its place a slight drowsiness and bliss. Opening eyes, I dashed away the sticky mane from the forehead on my face and tried to make myself comfortable to not press down wings. Completely by accident, my gaze swept across my own belly in the perfectly clear water, causing to frustratingly sniff and hasten to remove gaze from the lower - or back? - part of the stomach aside. Why this glorified cover doesn't work on the owner? Maybe I don't have a desire to see it as well... I still have curiosity and interest in it, but... I've had enough, seeing it in the mirror. Feelings from it... It's hard to portray it with words. If we try to look from the maximum technicality, then... Well, I’m not a spec, I won't draw analogies, but... Organ completely differs from the human one, even though not so radically as I thought earlier. It resembles a noose by its form, and the locals mask it under it: “noose”, something like human “pussy”. Now “Put one's head in the noose” sounds different, ay? Heh...The outer part of the mentioned organ was dark, like the fur, the inner one... I didn't work out the courage to go further. My wings unfolded and froze even without going there, barely reacting at attempts to do something with them. About the rest, if we put technicality aside... I don't fucking know! My head is still trying to figure this shit out, I don't understand how to treat it. From one side - it's not fatally, humans - and not just humans - live somehow with it? And it was fine, I think many of them even liked it... “This is how penis: it's good when you have it!” “What do you mean by “have”? For example, I’m a girl. And let’s say, that a penis just occurs sometimes. Generally, yeah, that's good.” I chuckled nervously, remembering this frankly vulgar quote. What am I supposed to do, when a question: “Your sex?” can cause a long stupor and shy: “I don't know...” in answer?! Really, who am I? If I see a mare in the mirror - am I suppose to behave like a mare? Famous “relax and embrace it”... Or in another way - resist it with full force? Or... Do these thoughts even have fucking meaning, honestly? I've already changed, I'm not the same person when I first woke up in Equestria, and it's only been... It hasn't even been a month yet! Damn it... How long did it take to feel magic through the horn as a usual thing, to feel a floating spoon during a dinner as a boring normality? What about the armor? What about the body’s thoughts about damned Big Mac and equalogist?... Even this rugged memory made different me... Who lacks something important, some solid basis. Feelings for the unknown, associations, that lead nowhere, and ideals, based on the unknown - this is what I have left... New reality just has to fill the blanks and... Putting my hand to my heart: I won't give myself more than fifteen years until complete and ultimate transformation into a pony-mare. In reality, I guess, it would be a way shorter... Of course you can resist your own body, but for how long?... No matter how I’m scared of this changed and no matter how I try to buy time, sooner or latter I’ll be just morally exhausted to live on “two fronts”, in a manner of speaking. Mind tires of fighting... But the body doesn't care. Body doesn't fight anything - it just functions as prescribed by the nature: casually produces estrogens - or what mares have? - usually grades males in the field of its vision in terms of being able to continue the family... This is like fighting fucking water. For my life - you cannot swim against the stream endlessly. Stronger will get tired later, softy - sooner, but the river... Yeah... Damn it... Fuck this thing!... Stop your fucking break down! Just have to accept sexual identity as non-existing, the corresponding organs as a boring and an unremarkable standard, learn to treat all this with proper indifference. I looked down at my belly mechanically and sighed. Thought lost its persuasion very sharply. What a fucking situation I’m in... ... “Well, have you met Bulk, dear?” Rarity greeted me with a wave of a hoof when I left the spa and came up under the sunshade of a cocktail bar, situated to the opposite where we had agreed to wait for each other after the procedures. “And how do you find this prominent stallion, m?” Unicorn played with her brows. “As a not bad spec.” I didn't accept the joking tone. I don't want to joke on this topic - and I don't want to touch it at all. “Do you think as well, that he... M-m... Got a little bit carried away by the musculature? Muscular stallions are beauty, but you have to know when enough is enough, right? And His Serenity Prince Blueblood knows when it's enough...” Mare rolled her eyes dreamily. “By the way, have you met him in the castle, Nightmare? Is he really so beautiful and well-built as on the photo?” “Haven't.” I cut it off grimly. “And do me a favor: discuss stallions with someone else, yeah?” “O-o, you prefer to be naughty with mares, Nightmare?” Rarity smiled from ear to ear with some foretaste. “I prefer to be naughty with sharp iron, which goes perfectly into those, who like to get on my nerves with such questions!” I couldn't hold it. “So many of nosy ones, damn you... First Applejack, now you...” “Sorry...” Swallowing nervously, unicorn drooped in a hurry.” Please, do not threat. It’s...” She falter shyly, looking clearly frightened at the same time. Goddam. “Start to think already, blockhead...” I swore at myself in thought. “I must be sorry, not you.” I stood up, got round the table, at which we settled down, hugged the mare with a bit of my wing. “Just... Well... Close relationship is... Is a sore point for me. And... Sorry, Rarity.” “Sometimes I forget who I’m talking to.” Sighing quietly, she shook her head. “I remember, when a single phrase thrown out would make my mane stand up in fright...” “Forget?” I chuckled with some irritation, that even I did not fully understand. “Do you know much about me to forget something?” Unicorn didn't answer. I... Am I being too hard?... “Waitress!” I demanded into the space. After a brief pause, a pegasus in uniform ran up to the table, hesitantly crumpling and walking nervously at a distance from me and Rar's table before, clearly not daring to approach herself. Now she has no choice and the winged one, losing courage desperately, came closer nonetheless. "Big chocolate cocktail. Rarity?” “Thanks, but...” “And a standard milk one.” “F-fine, miss!” Waitress ran to the bar. “Stop.” I nailed her to the floor with a singe word, casting a gaze at clearly upset Rarity. “Ice cream. With cream and chocolate crumbs, three... Four scoops. That’s all.” “Fine, miss!” Pegasus repeated and hastened to execute the order. “Again, sorry. I think... Well, I didn't want to scare you.” I apologized to the unicorn awkwardly again, settling down on my place opposite to her. Damn, I always was a master of saying apologizes, yeah... “It’s nothing.” Rarity smiled faintly and, looking at me, hastened to look away. The only one who, besides Pinkie, hasn't been doing so just ten minutes ago. “Rarity. Look in my eyes.” “Nightmare, I...” Designer hesitated. She didn't raise her eyes. The mood, already not a shining one, went down to the bottom like a falling plane. The worst of it - I barely know what to do now. Rar just started to see me as someone better than “The evil Mare in the Moon”, but just one phrase, that was understood by her as a threat - a highly real threat - and everything went into a dumpster. Damned horses with their damned pacifism! There wouldn't be a thousand originals among all the seven fucking billion people who would take it seriously! So seriously! And during the same time, her criticism, like she knew me thoroughly, was an unexpected and unpleasant blow to me... A heavy uncomfortable silence fell around the table, and when it was cut off by a shy voice of the waitress, I was almost happy about it. “Y-your order...” Pegasus muttered shyly, carrying a tray with the order on her back and, with help of wings, surprisingly skillfully put everything onto the table. “Thanks.” I nodded gloomily. “Do you have alcohol here?” “N-no.” She shook her head in a hurry. “Sad. Give me the bill, then.” “H-here.” Sweeping a gaze over the paper, I handed the marked number of money over to the mare wordlessly, which hastened to go away after that. Catching the high glass and, getting rid of the straw, I took a sip. A thick, cold liquid with a bright chocolate flavor melted inside, not lifting my mood even for an inch. I love cocktails, but now I drink them without any pleasure - even the pleasant taste did not help at all. Rarity picked at the ice cream reluctantly. “Think, that Tia spared my life for nothing?” I asked into the space. “What?! Of course I don't!” Unicorn almost jumped. “Her Highness...” “But I sometimes think, that she did it for nothing.” I interrupted the interlocutor, fixing unfocused eyes at my glass. “Bu-ut...” Rarity lost courage. “Sometimes I get the feeling that this world... is not for the ones like me. It doesn't want to accept the ones like me.” “I think you're wrong, Nightmare.” Unicorn answered after a minute and a scoop of the ice cream. “I think, that it is you, who doesn't want to accept the world, not the other way around. I understand - many things have changed, it's uneasy, but...” “Explain yourself.” Tia, as I remember, told me something similar... But then it was about me, having a hard time believing in the reality of the world at all. I was believing, though... But, it's like I didn't want to or... I don't know. I knew I've got here, but didn't want to accept it, I guess. And now I accepted it, didn't I?... Yeah, most probably... Of course it was clear, that there’s no way back, but... A-a... Well, I live here further - and that’s all. Because of no choice. But what meant Rar? “It's like you push others away intentionally, for example.” “What do you mean?” I didn't get it. “They run away from me by their will, putting the tail between the legs. Knowing my created reputation here - it's not a surprise. And you perfectly remember our first trip to the spa and how you were persuading Aloe to go out from under the table.” I chuckled. “And also I remember you, standing near and grinning evilly from ear to ear instead of acting and helping poor Aloe!” Rarity casted a harsh gaze. “I apologized.” “Because I told you to! Answer honestly, dear: would you apologized yourself?” “You see, I don't make choices for the others - should they be afraid of or not. Everyone has a head on his shoulders. Mature ponies can choose for themselves - to go under a table or invite me to a spa. So no, I wouldn't.” “So, according to that logic, it's not your fault that you scared me ten minutes ago, because you threatened me, it's my fault because I was scared?” Interlocutor gazed at me for the first time during the conversation. Prickly and critical gaze. “What answer would satisfy you?” I looked gloomily in answer. “I wasn't going to scare you, demonstrating my... My dislike to the topic. I’m surprised, that you took it to heart, I didn't want it.” “Surprised?!” Rarity started to gasp from indignation. “I asked a question - you said, that you beat those, who ask such questions! Thereafter!... Maybe, I really know you badly.” Mare interrupted herself and looked at the glass with cocktail darkly: ice cream is no more already. “There’s no one, who knows me well...” I dropped sadly. Everyone who did come to my... To my funerals for sure. There. I, sighing, looked around. It seems, that our conversation on a bit elevated tones wasn't short of attention... “Nothing to do?!” I asked surrounding idlers grimly. Everything came into a motion, ponies hastened to feign being busy. “Abyss forbid, I’ll hear gossips about that...” I promised loudly into the scape. Moving shifted into high gears. Rarity casted a condemned gaze at me and, shaking head displeasedly, got back to the cocktail. I followed suit: there’s still a few small sips in my glass... “Thanks for the food and drinks, Nightmare.” After a couple of minutes, Rarity thanked me, impeccably polite, but noticeably chilly, as she set her empty glass aside. “I hope this ice cream wasn't a lot worse than from Cloudsdale?” I smiled with my lips only. Whether I am right or not, but Rarity’s disappointment was... Unpleasant. A stupid feeling in my chest says, that it's me, who is not right, but why should I? “Everything is great, thanks.” Mare smiled like for a protocol, causing me to cringe in thought. “Okay.” I nodded. “So... Is our agreement still valid? Or would you either choose to sulk more, even though I apologized?” I didn't hold myself. "I’m not sulking!” She answered in a lady’s offended tone. “Agreement... Is valid. I’m not going to go back on my word. Let’s go?” “Let’s go.” I raised from the table and moved towards the exit. “Nightmare, sorry, but didn't you forget something?” Rarity's question caught up me. I gazed at the table, at my bags. Everything is on its place. I paid the bill... “No.” Rar, looking at me again, shook her head judgmentally and, putting a few coins onto the table, hastened to join. ... “A break?” I shut my eyes. Horn tingles, neck hurts a bit... “Yeah.” “Okay. You can take something to read over there if you want to, or, for example, get down to the store to look something you may be interested in. I have to get back to my order.” Rarity hastened to focus at the marked dress-pattern. I, warming up neck cautiously, left the workshop wordlessly and entered house owner's bedroom, which was opposite to find something “to read”. Rar was still sulking and was not ashamed to show it, keeping a deliberately cool demeanor, but she still practiced telekinesis with me, as we had agreed. Practiced, in my amateur opinion, not bad, even though without glowing enthusiasm. I just couldn't understand why her treatment hurts me so well... It wasn't on purpose, I apologized, Rar didn't take her word back and started to teach me... The logic goes: the question is over, but the demonstrative Rarity’s sulking at something unknown should have meant for me nothing if this unicorn does what she promised to, but... It should have meant nothing, but it means something. It’s unpleasant to feel her grievance. Something is gnawing... I took a thoughtful look behind my back. I can't understand what’s going on with her, but I will have to in any case, but later. The signs are clear - it’s better for you to go away and be under the radar for the next half an hour... Fine. I came up to a small bookshelf, looked at the backs. “The Love in the Hight castle”, of course - a local classic of an adventure loving melodrama after all, “Kiss through half the world” - all three volumes, “Love and stars”, “The Prince's Chosen”, “Wings of lust” - five volumes, “Pony for me”, “A wing and a heart”... I remember my rather big surprise, when I saw Twilight reading it. Then, however, the unicorn, scarlet as a Soviet flag, hiding the book behind her back, explained confusedly that it was only to get acquainted with the material, to know what the readers want, and she herself, of course, is not interested in anything like that, she is a serious mare, a scientist and it’s not allowed here because of her rank ... The only things I had to do were smiling, nodding and trying to not burst into laughter. However, she was right about something: the books of this genre in her library were, I think, probably the most popular - more than once I heard the unicorn’s sad refusal in giving them out because all three or five copies had already been dispersed among those who wanted to read them. After that, as a rule, she offered to take something similar, which, if there were several visitors, often led to a discussion of the plot... So I, to my own surprise, had an approximate idea of what the book was about even by just reading the title. Looking at the backs again, I chuckled, meeting a something known title: this one was read by me. “Ponies and love”, and against its name, it wasn’t a regular melodrama, but real stories of relationships. Written in the style of a collection of interviews by a team of co-authors, it was read by me for a better understanding of pony society and exposed that society to me from a slightly different angle than I was used to. And from this angle it seemed like a freaking brothel! Relationships here, yeah... We-e-ell... I sighed. I may not remember my parents anymore, but I can remember the feeling and relationships in the family. Such relationships, that I've been respecting as an ideal all my life. And the locals with their approach to the matter cause... Bewilderment. Herds, same-sex marriages, cross-species marriages from griffons to dragons... Generally, local morals are even wider, than in the Netherlands, for example. Here, in the book, a stallion’s story: pregnant wife comes to him with another mare and says, that she found a lover for him, for his entertainment... “And don't worry, I slept with her a few times, she's not bad in bed...” But it's okay, not the greatest example. The greatest one is another stallion’s story: wife comes, says, that she found a lover. A beautiful pony, and his wife too... Here’s the address, come to them as well, spend a night, get acquainted. If you like it - we can create a combined herd... And... What the fuck?... Crazy horses... And the strangest of this is the fact, that such news from wifes and husbands are not treated as something bad! Only hushing it up causes questions, but if a husband said to his wife honestly, that he's found a lover... Well, if the wife says something against it - you must, of course, tone it down, but if she doesn't - no problem at all. It’s some absurdity. An the most interesting fact is that during such free relationships ponies somehow managed to wash their dirty linen at home and keep outer pastoral and modesty... Nah, every was more adequate back home... “And the gender was more familiar.” I remembered the today’s rest at the swimming pool with a gloomy sigh. Damn it... Okay, fine. What else is here?... ... The next thing, that Rarity suggested to practice, when she called me to continue, was fine manual skills. If you can say so about the telekinesis... M, fine manipulation skills, yeah. Initially, the unicorn tried, despite my desperate resistance, to do a dictation, but, after looking at the result and taking honourless casualties - two quills - she thought it was too early for that. She squinted, though, with suspicion - did I do it on purpose. I didn't. I tried hardly, and I said it to her. I don't know if she believed it or not. In general, as a result, I got a pencil and an offer to draw something, preferably with small details. The usual chains and volumetric pluses from school were written quite confidently, even in spite of the absence of the usual "checkered" layout on the sheet - it was much easier with a pencil, and I got used to it much better than to a quill. When I had finished drawing another geometric abstraction, I pushed the scribbled sheet aside and picked up a fresh one. What to draw?... I wanted to try to depict something more substantial, more simple things come out without much difficulty... I raised my gaze and, looking for inspiration, looked around the room. Opposite to me, narrowing eyes behind glasses, biting tongue and working with a few pencils at once, Rarity was working tensely. There were cabinets with boxes of buttons, clasps, and other accessories, racks with rolls of fabric, a sewing machine, a mannequin - a ponyquin in the local vocabulary - something like a drawing board, but with with sketches and concepts pinned to it on buttons, a clock was ticking... I looked at the dial thoughtfully. How long have I been here? Not about Rarity’s place, but generally... Three-ish weeks, I guess?... After two or so relatives will come to the funerals, it’s been 40 days when I... When I died. Died there. And the fact, that I’m here, alive and almost healthy - and no one of them will ever know about it... Unfair! It’s okay for me: I lived with sins and died ridiculously, but why they must suffer? However, life is used to be an unrighteous piece of shit, let’s face it... Just remember in which body I live now... I sighed, lowering my eyes to where the pencil was rustling on the paper, obeying my horn and almost automatically drawing the outlines of the pony's head on the paper with precise, professional movements. If fate had forced me earlier, on the Moon, when Nightmare was... Alive - maybe, I would have been able to help her? We would have had to share this body, but... This is where I would have been and nothing you can do with it. When there’s no one to rescue, the only thing that remains is to avenge for the unknown poor mare, which, likely gave a second life to me exactly by her death as a rational personality... Muffled sob aside of me caused me to shiver and got me back into reality. Rarity stood near and looked at something at the table, tears were running down the unicorn's cheeks. I followed her gaze and shivered again: from the sheet, on which I was drawing someone mechanically while in thought, stared... Nightmare. Not me. The one, which is on the Moon forever.... Stared with desperation and dread in her wide-opened eyes, her mouth opened in a voiceless scream and... Skin, that flows down her face like liquid wax, under which white bones of the skull could be seen. “Six hundred years of loneliness. All-embracing and absolute. And Nightmare understood, that her personality was disintegrating, felt, sensed that disintegration!” My own old thought came up to the surface in memory... Felt. But couldn't do anything with it, no matter how she tried... Forcing my gaze to look away from the scary picture, I, swallowing lump in my throat with force, turned the sheet upside down swiftly, but it stuck in memory and continued to be before my eyes. They were all well remembered, drawings from the Moon. This is a third on this topic... Nightmare loved to draw. It diverted her at least for a bit... I shook my head with force, biting a cheek at the same time to get rid of the obsession. I almost “dove”... It's was a mistake to behavior in such manner with Nightmare, blue ass scumbag. I won't forget this, you bastard, you hear me?! “N-nightmare...” Rarity panted, lifting tearful eyes at me. “I was screaming, begging her to return until I lost my voice.” I said, fixing a thoughtful gaze at the upside-down drawing. “One small problem: there wasn't a sound that could be heard on this damned Moon.” Looking at the end of the pencil for a few seconds in some obsession, I, shaking head, stood sharply, dropping it onto the table and, exiting the room, went down to the first room, trying to get rid of the feeling, that I can't get enough air. As I walked to the unoccupied - as a show-case - window and froze in front of it, looking into nothing, I suddenly realized, that I was holding something with my telekinesis. The picture was seen in the grab, no idea when I brought it with me. Somber, repellent... And at the same time, you cannot force your gaze to look away... Shivering, I folded the sheet double hastily and, freezing for a few seconds with a thought to rip it, put it into the bag anyway. You feared to remember things, that Nightmare had been creating on the Moon? Here it is, in your bag. With all the emotions, that were put into it. A piece of the Moon here, in Equestria. Hard time running away from the past, yeah? Because you cannot run away from yourself... I chuckled nervously. 30. Poison For The SoulAuthor's Note "Well... The positive chapters are over. I don't know if it's because of the covid or just the general fall mood, but... I just hope I haven't lost my MLP vibe completely." Original author's note. 30. Poison For The Soul “Damn it...” I looked at myself in the mirror gloomily with a noise of water from the tap,. Reflection with tired and annoyed stupor looked in answer in the same gloomy manner with its red eyes and turgid eyelids. I sighed and dabbled cold water at my face once again. Closed eyes with force, blinked a thousand times. Didn't work. Turned off the water, blotted fur with a towel hastily and crawled out of the bathroom, nearly tripping over the threshold. “Is everything okay?” Twilight came up shyly, hiding gaze. “Of course, everything is just fine! Or you can't see it?!” Feigning an idiotic smile, I spitted out poisonously. Twi shrank her head into her shoulders. “She's not guilty in this situation. She just takes care of you!” I said to myself in thought. “Sorry, Twilight. I’m not myself.” I sighed. “I understand.” Mare sighed as well. “Have you found something?” “Nothing.” She drooped. “And... I wrote about everything to Princess Celestia Sorry, I knew you was against it...” “It's fine, forget it After today’s night I, honestly, not sure if it's a bad idea...” Cringing, I rubbed my pained temple. “How was your sleep in the basement? Oh, it even sounds awful...” “How do you think?” I smiled askew. “As in any other place now: awful.” “Sorry...” “Forget it. Better say to me - did you sleep well? Was my move there in vain?” “It was good.” Unicorn dropped eyes awkwardly, she's clearly not happy about my move into underground. I don't know why, though... “Golden Oak’s” basement was beautiful and barely differs from the rest of the library. Except for the absence of windows. I think, that the biggest role is that I moved there not for the fun of it. I’m being literally killed by nightmares. What started out a week ago as just some restless dreams, that I couldn't remember in the morning, two days ago turned so violent, that I was woken up at four in the morning by Twilight, which was as white as chalk, swallowing tears and in sheer horror. Spike, which had been helping her, wasn't looking greatly better. And there’s nothing to say about me... I spent the rest of the night in the kitchen, slurping glass after glass of tea with soothing herbs and reading some meaningless romantic nonsense, or rather, mindlessly sliding my eyes over the text, not perceiving what was written. I couldn't fall asleep until yesterday anymore. I feared to see the past in a dream again. Loneliness, madness and the Moon. And on the next night - everything repeated itself. Again the strange, insanely clear realization, that you are in a dream... And memories, pushed to the farthest corner of my memory, carrying with them feelings and sensations. Twilight was about to send a letter to Tia - I persuaded her not to. Probably for nothing... In the morning I packed my things and moved down to the basement to not wake the others with terrible moans, screams and gnashing of teeth. Fucking hell, I haven't slept in three days, or... Four. Three? A-a, damn it, what’s the difference. All the things that I had carefully avoided, even in my mind, still reached me in my dreams, and now I had no idea what to do with this situation. It’s better for me to dream of my home, as always... It’s sad, but you will whine from fear and despair in the Nightmare’s memories. I don't know how much longer I'll last... But I know to whom I owe such "fun" nights: there's only one pony, who knows how to control the dreams of others, and it's just her - what a coincidence! - who is not against to taunt on my grave at all! And this scumbag strikes the softest spot! She understands, how painful it was to see her betrayal - and just reminds me about that. What a bitch you are, Luna... If only Tia could see your nature... “Nightmare, breakfast is ready... Let’s go, you must eat.” Twilight touched me carefully. I, looking at the unicorn gloomily, nodded and couldn't hold a bone-chilling yawn, following her. Feigning a greeting to Spike, I fell onto the stool and, tossing the first spoon of porridge into mouth, started to thoughtlessly eat it, not even feeling the flavor. I just want to sleep, God... But the perspective of closing eyes and being once again in the darkest and scariest corners of my past kept my head straight and didn't allow eyelids to shut. “Nightmare?” “A?” I was brought back into reality, understanding, that I was called like three times. “You asked me to remind you, that you wanted to visit Rarity today.” Twilight looked at me compassionately. “Yeah, thanks.” I nodded dully, cringing in thought. Telekinesis training, damn... But what's the pros of it in such conditions... Ending with the porridge and polishing it off by tea, I moved to my room. Made it half the stairs, cursed, turned around. Now basement is my room... Usually put on the armor and changeless bags, put on the helmet. Looked at what's left with a blank glance - a bed on a tourist carpet, and every other thing is on me... Twilight met me at the first floor again. “Nightmare, sorry, that I didn't say it earlier... Forecasters said, that there would be a storm, right after the breakfast...” Unicorn hesitated. It’s really dreary outside the windows: locally small heavy clouds blocked the Sun and threatened to pour down in the nearest time. “I don't give a heck.” I waved away with a wing indifferently. “I’m not sugar, I won't melt away.” “Maybe you don't? It’s better for you t... Rest... Oh, sorry...” Laying back her ears, mare stopped short at her last words. “Everything is better than such dreams.” I muttered, opened the door, and stepped out the threshold into the strong pre-thunderstorm wind, bringing dampness and stuffiness with it I remember, in this wind I always regretted my lack of a long, pompous raincoat... Somewhere on the side of the Canterlot Mountains, a flash of lightning appeared and thunder rumbled, and the first drop fell on my nose. People were rapidly disappearing from the streets, and soon I was clattering along the pavement with only the wind, chasing leaves, branches, and a piece of cloth, carried away from someone's window, and the rain, gradually gaining strength. ... “Nightmare!” Rarity gasped, when she opened the door a bit. “You're soaked completely! Quick, come in, dear, I’ll make tea in a moment!” Unicorn gave room, letting me inside, and then ran to the kitchen. My lips touched a smile: it's nice to be greeted like this... I shook off the cold water as usual and followed Rarity, only now beginning to feel, that it was really cold in the rain and wind. Also, once in the warmth, the body began to rapidly fall asleep... Bastard! I shook head furiously, trying to get rid of the pressing sleepiness. And if I drink warm tea now - no doubt, I’ll fall asleep in a second. After saying hello to Sweetie, who looked up from the stairs to see who it was, I crept into the kitchen, yawning frantically and feeling my legs weakening with every step, where I hurried to settle down at the table and rest my heavy head on it, watching the fidgeting unicorn half-eyed. The picture, for some reason, started to darken and drift somewhere aside until it was complete blackness. No, it was darkness. Impenetrable, thick darkness, which, apparently, can be chopped with a knife, came with a strong feeling of someone's gaze behind my back. I turned around. No one. Complete silence and voicelessness - just the darkness swirling around, and the same feeling of someone else's unfriendly gaze. I turned around again: I think I saw something appearing for a moment in the darkness... Wait. I’m sleeping. Damn it! I’m out... It seemed, that the realization of this should have calmed the growing restlessness, but... I did not know how to make myself wake up, but I knew, that the dream, sooner or later, would lead me to the darkest and scariest corners of my memory... Something chill and disgustful suddenly touched a side, causing me to jump aside... ...To spread eagle on the floor noisily, with jaws and ribs hit, feeling my heart is pounding in the temples. “Nightmare!” Nervous Rarity came close to me. “How are you?” “I’m crashing.” I returned onto the place, nodding thankfully to the mare, which helped me. “Nightmares are still bothering you?” She looked at me with sympathy. “It’s so disgraceful that I cannot help you! It’s awful!” Unicorn, sighing, hugged me carefully, trying to somehow support me. Yeah... After the incident with the drawing, we had a long talk... I had told Rarity almost everything, except the nuances of the origin of the person, now living in Nightmare Moon's body. It seemed, that we had been cuddling and crying at the same time until the night... Strangely enough, it has become a little bit easier, and even the realization of the fact, that there’s someone who knows - and who is not indifferent to it - makes my heart happier. And I told her about the nightmares, when they used to visit me, too... “Here, take it.” Meanwhile, Rarity put a tea bowl with a hot drink before me. “Thanks.” I nodded and kissed the bowl with tea carefully, that spreads soft aroma. “M-m...” “Should I bring a plaid for you?” She touched my back shyly. “No, I’m fine.” I waved away in thought. “I don't want to fall asleep again.” “Okay... Oh, and why am I the only one who cannot help you?” Unicorn sighed sadly, sitting down across from me. “Should I bring sedative tea? Or maybe I have some sleeping pills?...” “Useless. Yes, you fall asleep, but it cannot help against nightmares at all.” I cringed. “We’ve tried it with Twilight. She’s written a letter to Celestia, maybe she would recommend something... But she hasn't answered yet, so the best I can think of is to try to not sleep at all.” I summed up sadly and finished with the tea. “Thanks.” “It’s awful...” Rarity looked at me pitifully. Yea-ah... Funny enough - it’s exactly Rarity, who made my existence here more bearable. I didn't think it would be possible to get along exactly with her: in canon she always seemed to me as phony with her "generosity" and did not find understanding in my eyes. And just look... Her spa was more than beautiful, and her help in getting used to telekinesis... And her worriment about me looks so sincere... Yes, I’m fucked up pretty badly, but I won't give up. “I don’t know for how much I'd be able to stand, but if Luna expects me to crawl to her on the belly and give her all opportunities to do anything with me for the sake of ending it - good luck.” I chuckled gloomily, rising from the table. “I understand you, of course, but... Why are you so sure, that it’s Princess Luna...” Unicorn bit her lip thoughtfully, following me with a gaze. “Who is if not she?!” I fixed eyes on her. “Excuse me, but there’s only one pony with abilities to sweep across someone else's dreams in Equestria and doing everything she wants to! And she's a treacherous filthy bastard!” Rarity shivered, almost cringing painfully. “Nightmare! You may not get along with Princess Luna, but...” “Not get along?!” I felt my eyelid twitching. “I trusted her more than myself! I lived only for her!!! And in return, this monster left me to die from endless fear, that she turned my life into!!! Don't call it “not get along”!” I hissed the last word right to unicorn's face, which shrank under my furious gaze. “C... Calm down, p-please.” Hiding eyes, she asked quietly after a few seconds of heavy, unpleasant pause. “I will when I spit on her grave!” Lump stuck in the throat, fury pumped in my temples like bells, demanding a solution. I wanted to destroy something... Or someone. “Nightmare, dear...” Rarity touched me shyly with a well-kept hoof. “Sorry, but I think, that you... Overstate it. Well... It can be just simple nightmares by their nature... I mean, that no one sends them to you...” Mare melted into background under my heavy stare. “So much and on such a topic? O, really, it's just a coincidence! And how haven't I thought about it myself?” I put a shoe onto the forehead theatrically, making a stupid smile on the face and quickly erasing it, when I looked in the unicorn's eyes point-blank: “I appreciate your help and yada-yada... But don't get involved in something you don't understand at all! I shared one body with her and know her like the back of my hoof: Luna doesn't want some Nightmare Moon to be alive and healthy! That’s it!” I stepped back from the twitching pony and, turning around, came up to a window. There were still occasional raindrops, pounding on the glass, leaving trails of water on it. “If they were red - it would look almost like dripping blood” A strange thought came to my mind. I had never taken a cigarette in my life, but now I suddenly felt a terrible urge to smoke... To suck in the burning, disgustingly smelly smoke, full of tar and heavy metals, to feel my own life shortening... I shook my head, driving away the strange obsession. I wanted to sleep as hell... “Nightmare...” I was called shyly behind my back. I turned around with some strange grief that wasn't understandable even for me, and gazed at the white unicorn, which hastened to look away again. “Would Her Highness Princess Celestia allow someone - even her sister - to harm you? I’m sure she wouldn't allow this to happen!” I, sniffing, turned to the window, looking at the drops on the glass for some time wordlessly. “You’re underestimating Celestia's exaltation and myopia in this situation...” I chuckled sadly. “If there’s a pony, that allowed to do whatever she wants to - it’s Luna for sure. I think, that Celestia wouldn't notice anything, that can destroy her romanticized vision of “beloved and only sister”. Until she finally destroys her, like she would do with me a little earlier! Then tears for the public and accusations of me and maybe Cadence in what happened, and then Equestria would have a new ruler Favorite, only and endless: unparalleled and greatest Queen Luna! She never wanted to share power with someone and will go over cold bodies if someone stands between her and the throne!” “But it's absurd! I mean, I’m sure, that Princess Luna missed Her Highness Princess Celestia and love her to the same degree and vice versa!” “You don't believe me?!” I turned to the table with a dash again. Nerves hum like strings, as if something important lays by a hair's breadth... “Sorry, Nightmare, but I've seen them there, in the castle, and have seen them on the party in Ponyville afterwards...” Rarity raised from the table, standing opposite to me and, for the first time in days, looked in my eyes firmly and straightly. “I will never believe, that Princess Luna, whose love and respect for sister are endless, who cried so much there, in the castle, at Celestia’s shoulder and frightened to break the embrace for her to not vaporize, to plan something... Such monstrous! No offence, but it seems, that your vision is not what’s real, but what you want to see...” “She pitched a line even to you so good, that you're protecting her now!” I panted through my teeth. I wanted to scream, but the lump in my throat doesn't allow it. Fury with grievance and despair are choking me. Why?! She should have understood me! I trusted her! Thought, that she really cares about me! Worries about me! And she... She doesn't care?! How could I, imbecile, call her a friend?! What a fool!... It’s past time to understand, that there are no friends! Luna's cute muzzle and her big sorrowful eyes mean more for the locals, than rotten and disgustful soul inside! What soul toothed Nightmare with scary dragon's eyes has - no one cares! They can only shit their pants at the sight of me and run away as fast as they can! Herd of stupid coward scumbags! And the friendship is as cartoonish and unnatural as they are! “I hope, when Luna settles her croup down onto the throne, she will have a reason to kill you as well! Maybe choking in your own blood you’ll understand something!” I spitted, passing by the unicorn to the exit in a hurry pace. “Nightmare!...” “What “Nightmare”?!” I stopped at the entrance into the entrance hall. “Go kiss your Luna's croup! I trusted you!!! Spit my guts, told something!... Damned goose...” “But!...” “I don't want to know you!” Paying no more attention to the pathetic excuses that sounded behind me, I crossed the hallway-store and, with my heart, ‘till pain in the leg, I kicked the front door with my hoof, ran out into the street, without turning around, to rush away from "Carousel", heading wherever my legs want to. Even though the rain is over, I still can feel some spots on the face for some reason. Maybe it is sprinkling a bit. ... After an hour and a half I, standing at some distance from the entrance, was examining sign of “Sugarcube corner” and, maybe for the first time in life, just didn't know what to do. I calmed down after this for a... For a fucking nothing. I managed to at least partially get myself together, but there still was a firestorm inside of me. And I came here to fear to come in, to trust - and get another knife in the back. Damn it, I hate you, Rarity... Sighed, that came out from the chest by itself, made me angry for some reason. Traitors don't worth sighing about them! And yeah, stop vacillating like before the wedding night, stop whining! It cannot be worse than that. Shaking head, I stepped forward. To my silent indignation, Pinkie wasn't in “Sugarcube corner”. I had to overcome my unwillingness to speak to someone... Unwanted, and to ask questions missus Cake, that was standing behind a counter. It’s a day off for Pinkie - she asked for it - and, as far as the owner of the shop knew, planned to spend the time with Dash. Yeah, the colored one, as far as I knew, was out of jail - and this damned alive symbol of the LGBT community immediately started to make my life worse and get in the way! First, she disrupted my practice of the magic beam, when enthusiastic Twilight rushed away to meet her, feigning apologizes: I've been begging her for days to show me this simple combat spell! Fine, it wasn't that hard - I could figure that out even with my head, curved from the sleeplessness. And now, instead of “Pinkie is at the working place” I have “Pinkie is nowhere to be seen” exactly when I need her! Damn it, I should have kicked this Trash for a longer while: maybe she would have left the hospital a week later and not been so annoying! You can bet your sweet life, that Pinkie ran to her to do some more “funni things” like yesterday's ones... Got nothing to do?... They even hit upon the idea of changing Twilight's ink to invisible one. It was a real “help” considering the fact, that she was doing magic with flasks to make a more effective sleep aid for me and was writing down intermediate results. And strangely enough, she hadn't been laughing when her notes just vaporized. Damn it, I almost wanted the colored one to get on my nerves with her brainy creative: could have gotten into the hospital again and wouldn't have been an eyesore to me! And this idiot wasn't against it for sure: I remember rainbow mane, being in my area of visibility, but, unfortunately, nothing happened. But I hoped for it - there could have been a reason to break someone's face... I doubt stupid Dash having breaks and not deciding to act first - Pinkie persuaded not to for sure... Fine: I’m sure, that there would be another reason to beat the hell out of this colored idiot, and not even one. But Pinkie would get from me for this leisure even without a spare reason - not allowed to do so. But sometime after, when I’ll have the right mood... ... Damn, where the heck she is? She is here and there, and even, by the boss’ words, the pink one, that planned to spend time with Dash, has been seen around the library and alone... I felt my rage's grow. This bumming, Sun's blinding, stupid horses are running around to God knows where! I've had enough! This Twilight... What an idiot. I ask “Where’s Pinkie?”, answer - a lecture about Rainbow friend's arrival - Gilda the Griffon - and Pinkie is very jealous of her. “Jealous”, yeah - I remembered something about that, how she was bullying Pinkie in the canon. I’m already looking forward to meeting her... Twilight, while I was trying to remember the canon, managed to lecture me about Pinkie’s “inappropriate” behavior, mention some researches about psychology, and then, only after that, finally, said the answer for my question, saying, that she gave a hint to our pink friend to peacefully rest in the cafe, drink cocktail and calm down. After that she hastened to get rid of me on the excuse of... Being busy! Couldn't you answer my question right off the bat, fucking busy one?! She's a fan of shooting the shit, God damn her... I’ll tackle Pinkie's behavior without you anyway! I literally flew out of the library, then spent about five minutes, cursing quietly and digging with my hoof fiercely to blow off some steam: it was a challenge to not snap at that nerd. At least this time, the pink mare was where I was said to look for: at the market, in a cafe near it, if to be precise. She looked uncharacteristically gloomy, sitting alone at the table, with only an untouched glass of some cocktail, and seemed to be talking to herself. I paused, watching with wistful thoughtfulness as she said something to herself, gesticulating vigorously. I searched so much, and when I found her, I realized, that I didn't know for what... I wanted to believe, that she would understand me and... But does it worth a shot? I already somehow believed, that Rarity would understand me... A rotten brute, just like her beloved Luna... There was some movement at the market, and I looked over there. People, with fleeting smiles, parted before Fluttershy, walking backwards awkwardly and leading a family of ducks or something through the square. Unwanted smile showed up for a moment even on my face. It looked... Heart-piercing. My legs carried me towards the yellow pegasus themselves - I wanted to capture a little more of the positivity, that this cute little pony was radiating. “Hey!” A barbaric shout brought me back into reality. “O-oh... E-excuse me p-please, I...” Fluttershy shrank under griffon's gaze, which she bumped accidentally into in a stream... Where ponies gave her way preemptively. “Don't you see - I’m walking here!” This chicken exclaimed and pushed the pegasus roughly. Atte-ention... I hastened the pace, separating and pushing aside a few spectators, that watched the scene. “O-oh, s-sorry... I... I j-just was trying...” “So-o-oryy, so-o-ory, excu-u-se me.” Griffon cringed. “Are you blind or stupid, pony? Have you shoved your eyes into your ass or your nut-like brain isn't capable of understanding, that you have to look where you’re going? A?!” Griffon tried to grab Fluttershy by the lapels with a fore paw, but it slipped off, only leaving a bleeding wound on the pegasus’ chest from a claw. Pegasus stepped back, swallowing tears and messing about excuses. I froze, feeling the pure, unconfused rage, that started to run through my arteries instead of blood, until my teeth gritted. “Dead.” The promise, thrown out loud in an emphatically calm tone caused the assembled onlookers to turn their attention to me and disperse very hastily as I moved forward again. “Pf! I've had enough of stupid ponies, who do nothing, but get in the way!” Meanwhile, a pile of organic fertilizer - will be in three minutes - exclaimed it demonstratively, unfolding wings and starting to take off. Moment... Yep! Telekinesis tightened on the griffon's tail right at the moment of blowing with wings to take off, but she got a powerful and, as I think, painful rush right back to Earth instead. Griffon, moaning, spreadeagled on the causeway. Some pony started to laugh shyly, some picked that up. “Oh, you shouldn't be laughing, citizens: you can actually injure your spine that way... However, I don't think back problems will ruin a chicken's old age. The chicken would be in a soup a wa-a-y earlier.” I grinned evilly. “Ugh, bloody shit...” Raising up, Gilda shared her experience. “Keep laughing, stupid vegetarians!!! What a wanker dared...” She turned around in a hurry, bumping with her nose... Bill into my breastplate. She silenced. Lifted eyes distrustfully. “Listen, stupid big sack of hay, I’ll kick your ass for it right now!” I dropped from the reality for a second, not believing my ears. Of course, griffons have hardly heard about Nightmare Moon, but this... Griffon, using my stupor, came closer and now, unfolding wings, fluffing feathers and ruffling up truculently, gazed at me with an unkind stare. ...But we can fix it. A magic beam ran out from my horn's tip. Griffon, taking off sharply, judged it, even though a painful look appeared on her face for a moment - tail's put wasn't in vain. Someone from the idlers, by the scream, wasn't so lucky. Not a bad result as well. “Hah, missed! I mean, hit: one stupid pony hit another one!” Gilda started to laugh. Laugh while you have reasons to. It's good that you thought of taking off, that's what I was really hoping for... Do you know why it's better to put things on the ground? Nothing falls off the ground. Count, shut eyes for a moment, create a flash before enemy's eyes, move closer swiftly, grab a wing’s tip by telekineses on the flap, put it down sharply - and disoriented griffon falls onto stones from solid four-five meters like a bag. A dozen of seconds. How cocky she was... Pathetic. Gilda, uttering half moan - half sob and narrowing eyes blindly, tried to get up. Wing, which was pulled by me, hung limply, and judging by some unusual pose, spine got its good part as well... “You cannot get up, can't you?” I felt sorry for her dramatically. “I’ll help you.” Turquoise cloud of telekinesis appeared around griffon's neck, lifting her up at the level of my gaze. Griffon twitched in the grab, twitching wings and pawing her neck with fore legs in panic. “You know, scavenger.” I smiled trustfully to the griffon, having frog in her throat.” It’s good, that I met you. I haven't killed griffons for so long, that I can't remember the sound of their neck breaking, can you imagine that? But it's okay, you’ll recall it, right?” I added force, tightening the noose... “Nightmare!!!” I was bumped into a side tangibly. “Don't! Let her go! Please!” What?! Who?.. I turned to the voice sharply. Fluttershy. Eyes full of tears. Looks at me with clear dread. Begs to... To let this creep go? I swifted gaze to Gilda, which already started to roll eyes and, waiting a little, nailed her into the ground heartily with a short rustle before loosening my grab. Okay, you're allowed to live, bitch. After a few seconds, griffon started to move on the causeway with husky cough and painful moans, gradually recovering herself. “Listen closely, crossbreed of a garbage cat with a garbage raven.” I jabbed her with a shoe into the ribs, causing painful hiss. “I don’t know where Fluttershy, which you dared to attack, heard a hint of an appeal for forgiveness in your groans and moans, asking to release you, and I don't agree with her, but... You're breathing right now only because she asked me.” I nodded towards friend's standing. “But her request doesn't mean, that I’ll continue to tolerate your flea-ridden skin further: I give you half an hour to get out of Ponyville and never be seen by me for the entirety of your pathetic life! Failing this...” I touched her neck with telekinesis meaningfully. Judging by the Gilda’s twitch, she learned some things. “Night, it's not right!” “What “is not” right?” I turned around and eyed Pinkie, which just came here, from head to foot with a dissatisfied look. I’m tired of you, getting in my way! From the right, from the left, from the fucking... “She's hurt! We must help her! Of course she's a thief, a bully and bandit, but...” “No.” “W...What? No?! But she's in pain. You...” “In pain...” I chuckled gloomily. I’m in pain as well there, inside - but did someone of you even care about it... “In pain, sack of hay, imagine that... O-oh... Damn you a thousand times...” Somehow stood up griffon said in a hoarse voice under her breath, but the alicorn's hearing didn't let down. “Pain?” I specified with a feeling and sweet voice, lowering head and looking in Gilda’s eyes. She stepped back. “You know, I can easily treat that... Dead bodies do not have pain at all!!!” “Nightmare!...” Griffon stumbled, falling onto the wounded paw with hiss and squawk. “Get out of the town. Now.” Erasing any intonation in the voice, I summed up, closing in and hanging over the griffon. “Or everything, that's left of you, would fit in a cup.” Standing up with difficulty and giving me the last gaze, in which hatred and fear on the verge of terror oddly mixed, Gilda, turning around, started to cripple away. “Damned scavenger.” After following her with a heavy gaze for a dozen of seconds, I cringed and, turning around, looked around. The square was, expectedly, practically empty: the one loser, who had been shot by a stray shot, was enough for everyone, and the few who remained, were just now beginning to emerge from their hiding places, looking towards me with outright fear. I hope this scavenger didn't hurt Fluttershy severely... Had to intervene from the start, damn it. Scream from afar could have... God, where's she? I turned to Fluttershy, but she wasn't on her previous spot. I even turned back, looking behind my back, but yellow pegasus vanished into the air for some reason. But a little further away, Pinkie Pie was sitting right on the causeway. I’ll ask her. Yeah, she looks pretty bad... “Pinkie! How are you? Where’s Flutty? She's alright? Is she okay?” There was a kind of tension, like a premonition, that didn't leave me. Pinkie... Looked bad. Do my eyes let me down from the sleeplessness or she's really lost some of her color?... And that pose, nervously sitting and staring at the ground... And the ears drooping... “No, she's not.” Slowing, earthpony finally panted. “She couldn't look at what you're doing and fled. Where to - I don't know. Don't look for her, please - you’ll scare her.” A voice trembling with tension, almost devoid of intonation, which was so atypical - no, more: impossible! - for the pink mare started to give me chills. “Okay, will work it out later...” I mumbled. Flutty’s fright was clearly understandable and obvious: what's good about fighting? Especially for such a soft and touchy pony as she. I'm not sure, but she did come up and ask for Gilda's forgiveness during the process... And then she ran away? It's weird, though... Okay, when in doubt leave it out. Got scared of the fight, plus... plus a scratch deep enough for me to notice, even from a distance. By the way, she could've gone off to get it fixed... Anyway, it seemed, that it wasn't that bad with Fluttershy. Pinkie, on the other hand, started to give me worriment... “Pinkie, how are you?” I touched her shoulder carefully with the fold of my leg. She, surprisingly, recoiled back as if my touch burnt her. “Worse than... than ever." She strained and looked up at me with tear-stained blue eyes. “I believed, that you have changed, that you have changed for the better, that you were no longer as creepy evil as you were when you wanted to steal the Sun! And you... And I...” “Like I hadn't reasons to do it!” Anger rose heavily inside. “I was defending the pony I owed and which couldn't defend herself!” It was a challenge to not let the scream out. “Fluttershy, which you "was defending”, ran away from you and now will be afraid of even getting out of her house! You was not defending!” Rising up, Pinkie made a few steps back. The pink-haired pony's voice rang indignantly. I remembered my own thoughts after my first normal meeting with Flutty: I don't give a heck about others, but she shouldn't be afraid of me. And shouldn't regret her protection. Didn't I go too far?... “You was hurting Gilda - and you liked it!” Gradually rising tone, the angry baker continued. “You're heartless-heartless villain! Dangerous and... And evil! Princess should have you...” I shivered. Pinkie cut herself off abruptly, clearly biting her tongue and covering her mouth with a hoof frighteningly, but the message was still very clear. Wish you didn't exist at all. “So here we are...” A lump got into my throat. “You, the first one who called me friend, now say this, yeah?...” I remember thinking about her: “A friend in need is a friend indeed”. A need is here. And where are your friends, huh?... “Oh, no-no-no, I!...” “You have been lying to me the whole time! You all have been! And I thought, that at least you really believed in me... Your so-called "friendship" has cost me a lot, but now I see, that all these words, as it turned out, were, in fact, worthless! Nah, just an empty talk! What an idiot!...” I exhaled, feeling the burn out inside me at the same time, and the strange apathy, that came over me. “My head, of course, is not worth much either, because it has never had a brain, but I hope that now I finally understand that trusting others is a fatal mistake." The last words sounded quiet and indifferent: there was no moral strength left for emotion. I wanted to scream, cry, kill others and die myself, but... All these desires seemed completely unnecessary and pointless. Everything around me seemed unnecessary and pointless... It just suddenly didn't matter. Complete freedom. The will to do anything, because there is no one and nothing else that matters at all. I, laughing quietly, looked at the earthpony, shuddering and shrinking because of my laughter and turned away and wandered to God knows where. Damn it, when did it start raining again?... 31. The Princess of NothingLuna flew into her chambers and, barely holding tears, fall onto the bed, burying her face in a pillow. Celestia, coming in next, hid her gaze guiltily, staring at the floor. “Luna, I... Sorry, I just wanted... O-oh, how could I take this silly idea seriously?...” The Princess of the Sun sighed, shutting eyes disappointedly. Luna didn't answer. The only thing on the Night Princess’ mind was the sinister “press-conference”, as her sister called it. "Princess Luna, do you really think your sister acted in good conscience by leaving you there alone with the spirit and not trying to rescue you?", "Your Highness, did you manage to finally get rid of that dark beast and can Equestria really sleep in peace?", "Your Highness, how did the climate on the Moon suit you?", "Your Highness, being in peace and quiet must have been good for strengthening your mind! What meditative practices have you used to open your third eye and experience nirvana?", "Princess Luna, you must have had many funny or amusing experiences over the years! Tell at least one, please!”. The constant flashes were blinding, the crowd of presses was barely contained by the few guards, and the questions, that poured in from all sides, were getting worse and more ridiculous, until the last one finally finished off disoriented and uncertain Princess, causing her to turn around and run away. And now the younger alicorn had the vile feeling, that all those ponies had gathered there on purpose to make fun of her... Luna sobbed, feeling at the same moment her sister’s wing, stroking her mane sympathetically. When Tia offered to meet the people, the younger Princess expected a high stage, densely surrounded by guards and the need to get up on it and make a speech before the silent subjects, as had happened before and maybe graciously condescend to answer two or three respectful questions... Not this... This!... An insult at sister was enveloping in the soul, which didn't even think of warning her about something like that. Of course, she mentioned that there would be questions, live communication, not a monologue, that these questions could be different, but... Where was she anyway, why did she give the organization to the hooves of some "press secretary" or whatever her name is...? There were things to do, if you can believe it! But somehow she had time to come and see this shame... “What I was thinking about...” Tia sighed into space, continuing to stroke blue mane. “I promise, Lu, they’ll get some. I said her, that... Seems she risks to lose her job. And some publications may now have problems with accreditation and licenses for the next year!...” Celestia’s promises and threat only made more anger for some reason, they didn't calm it down... “I want to be alone.” Luna panted through the pillow deafly. Snowy alicorn's wing froze mid-motion. “Sorry, what?...” She asked to repeat confusedly. “I want to be alone.” Junior Princess repeated with strange for her annoyance. “I... Excuse me, my magic star.” Tia cuddled sister’s neck with a sigh. “It’s okay, I’ll go away. Call me, if...” Not knowing how to end, the Princess of the Sun left, smiling faintly and shutting the door behind quietly. After laying for a few minutes in silence, Luna turned on the side and curled up. Instead of relief after sister’s leave, it became only worse, but calling her back, after chasing sister away herself... “Useless idiot...” Alicorn swore at herself under her breath. There still was a comb in her throat, and tears started to well up in the eyes. “Gathered to laugh at her... Mockery is the only thing she's worthy of at all.” Princess, yeah... Strength barely enough to hold a spoon, confused about language and etiquette all the time - teachers roll their eyes longingly, when they think she can't see, smiling and cheering in her face... Gone mad magic doesn't even allow her to fly properly! Instructor, “the best of the best, worked with Wonderbolts!”, as Tia described him, looks at her like at a fly in a soup. Most of the servants in the castle treat her cautiously, prefer to limit conversations and do it from afar, whisper between each other. Sometimes giggle... Who is she, recall please? Princess of the Night, yeah? Night, that is under Celestia's control now? Princess of nothing. Useless Princess of nothing, which only utility is to be laughed at... *** Luna sobbed and tried to cuddle up even tighter. Is she really needed her sister as Celestia tries to show?... “Why did I chase her away?...” Sobbing again and dashing tears, Luna asked with a shaky voice as if she was trying to drive away gloomy, hostile silence around. The room answered with a spiky uncomfortable chill and a cold draught across the back from the opened window. Oppressing feeling of loneliness choked heart cruelly. Why, why had to ask her to leave? To take it out on her? Tia left, saying warm words before leaving, but it still was clearly painful and disheartening for her there, in the soul. Insulted sister... Just because, on a plain spot! Sister, who never once denied her anything this month, always supported her... It became unbearably disgusting in the Princess’ soul because of herself. ... Crying heart out and calming down a bit, Luna wandered around her chamber’s rooms restlessly. Bedroom - living room - dining room - living room - study - living room - bedroom... She thought to go out into the corridor and walk around the palace, but the memory of the night guards - who, seeing her condition, would begin to comfort her, find out who was to blame and assemble a vengeance squad for their Great Mother - discouraged her. Thestrals... They don't add inward peace in the Princess’ soul as well. It seemed only a few days ago, that the main part of her new guard had arrived and took an oath, but yesterday she overheard a conversation between a couple of night guards, that made it clear, that they were seriously counting on her, Luna, to seize power from Tia, and then judge her! Preferably with an execution in the end... One guard wondered why Celestia hasn't been overthrown yet - the army is already here and ready, why does the Great one hesitate? His companion told, that it is Nightmare, who used force, and Luna is going to have power preferably in a peaceful manner, but it will take more time. No one from the thestrals even disputed Tia’s position as an enemy one, and Luna certainly will have her revenge. Now another question boggles the Princess of the Night's mind: when thestrals will understand, that she's not going to go against her sister, what she would get instead of blind adoration, that splashes in their eyes if they look at the junior alicorn now? Luna, who had originally hoped to find friends among thestrals, now avoided them, fearing to get close to them. Yes, they have to be over-persuaded, make peace with sister, and no one except her would do that, but... Princess was just scared. Scared, that she herself will gradually accept the truth of thestrals and turn against Tia again... betray her again. With a heavy sigh, Luna sat back where she was standing. There was no thought of what to do about it all. Turn to her sister? The one she'd chased away, what an ungrateful fool... Cadence? Cadence was away on business, and she wouldn't be back until tomorrow... and there was no one else to go to. She lays in the middle of a castle, full of different ponies, for whom she was technically considered a Princess, with her guards outside the door, ready at her word to go into the fire... And yet, Luna had no one to talk to, no one to get words of support from. She just is not needed anyone here. As it seems from the sister's words, even Nightmare was needed someone, even she found friends... Princess sniffed and looked up, persuading herself, that she just examines the ceiling lamp.... She never had friends. Except for, maybe, Star Swirl... Star Swirl the Bearded was rude, straightforward, a little cocky, and arrogant... But besides Tia, he was the only person the Princess of the Night could go to, and not because she had to, but just to talk, discuss some theory, argue, make jokes... The mentor, however, could not joke at all. Only a few knew, that the nickname "The Bearded" came to Swirl from his teacher at a time, when he had no beard at all - for his downright talent for telling old, unfunny jokes, genuinely believing them to be new and interesting. Unicorn grew beard after many years to look appropriately... Luna chuckled through tears, but darkened again after a moment. Old mentor just disappeared one day, and no one had ever seen him again. Luna wore her hooves out until sole, trying to find her only friend, but he just vanished into the air... Even since Princess had acquaintances, there were those, who respected and even favored her, but only that. At least Celestia occasionally had someone with whom she could chat, share her problems, who she could hug as a goodbye and say: “I hope to see you soon, dear friend”. She even had her beloved Silver Wind, who would sneak the sunny Princess into a corner before a meeting so that later, surrounded by some ministers, she would glow with a slight blush and try her best to hide her swollen lips from a kiss... And she, Luna, was avoided then and is avoided now... The Princess of the Night cuddled up right onto the carpet where she sat and sobbed, covering with a wing. Wanted for someone to come in, to ask what happened... But there’s no living soul in the whole world who would do that. Because no one needed Luna. ... Luna put back the towel onto the hook and looked in the mirror gloomily. Unpleasantly cringed: cold water didn't help to fully get rid of the swollen lids and red eyes... Princess, sighing, came out of the bathroom and froze on the doorstep, not understanding what to do next. Convincing herself, that Tia needs her and Cadence does care for her was a scary thing for Luna: these thought could easily bring her on the verge of tears... But what does she have left except thoughts? Apathy came. Wanted to go somewhere under the bed, where it's dark and chilly, and just lay there, not thinking about anything. Princess shivered, when bells started to ring in the chambers in almost full silence: someone came and, allegedly, wanted to see her... “Not Tia, please.” Alicorn mumbled, coming to the entrance room. Perspective of looking in sister’s eyes, which she just chased away in anger, seemed unbearable for Luna. To her relief, only one of thestral-guard stood in the entrance room, which, as it seems, was on the watch near the doorway today. “Sorry for disturbing your rest, Great mother.” Stallion bowed a little bit awkwardly. “A messenger of... The Queen appeared.” He emphasized unfriendly. ”Said, that you must immediately answer whether you’re going to appear on the dinner or not.” Princess shivered from the memories and hastened to get rid of them, shaking head nervously. That Queen is no more, and sister loves her... “Did he really say that?” She narrowed her eyes with suspicion, overcoming her emotions. “Negative, he represented it softly. But the meaning was like that.” Thestral said without any hint of embarrassment. Rage came. “Say it like it was said to Us!” Alicorn pierced the sentinel with a harsh glance. “Don't you dare to mangle even a word that is for Our hearing from now forth! Immediately convey to your superior Our supreme will, that you be severely punished for this!” “M... My fault!” Thestral swallowed, standing at rigid attention. “Away!” Luna narrowed eyes. He rushed to the exit, but hesitantly froze halfway and turned again to Princess, shivering at her murderous gaze. “Away!” She repeated. “This... Excuse me, Great mother... What to say? To that messenger? About the dinner? “Could talk with Tia at dinner. I so miss her now...” “Say, that We now deign not to eat any food at all, for We have no need of it.” Following the sentinel with a gloomy gaze and locking the door, Luna, sighing heavily, slowly walked into the bedroom. Actually, she was hungry, and quite a lot, but... Come and sit at the table with Celestia as if nothing had happened... Tia had enough problems to spoil her mood and appetite by looking at her useless, unworthy sister, who for all her kindness and love could only repay her by demanding her to get away because she was in a lousy mood. “Why did I chase you away, sister? I am such an idiot... You came to support me, you've made so much for me, and I...” Luna, freezing next to a window, cringed painfully and closed the curtains with a sharp jerk and a crack of cloth, when the sky darkened rapidly, stars lit up, and the Moon went over the horizon, plunging the world into the embrace of night. The night, to which Princess, that should have control over it, had no connection with. Princess of nothing. Useless Princess of nothing... “Mom, we will overcome her together, yes?” “I hope so.” Luna, with an uncertain smile, patted the mane of a teenage black alicorn, standing next to her. She smiled, flashing back with turquoise eyes, just like her mother's, with an unusual vertical pupil... ... “Nightmare, no!!!” The glaive slid to the side at the last moment, leaving a long slash on Celestia's shoulder instead of piercing her ribcage. She fell back on her wounded leg with a piteous cry. Crimson blood looked somewhat unreal on the snowy fur... “Why?” Young mare gazed displeasedly, just almost killing the Queen. Nightmare, despite her age, fought more tactically and furiously, than Luna herself, which was divided with doubts and contrarieties. “She is my sister... You can’t...” Luna's words were interrupted by a pat of teleportation, noise of broken glass and Nightmare's furious scream: “Where are you going?!” Luna, slowing a bit, rushed after... ... “I beg you, stop! I am guilty before you, yes! Forgive me! Just stop, please...” Luna froze hesitantly: Celestia’s word touched something in heart... “Enough of this vile lies, Queen! You don't and never cared about Luna! You're not asking for mother’s forgiveness, you're just trying to save your life and your crown!” Nightmare, covering the blue alicorn from the white one, scowled unkindly, and the glaive in her grip glowed with a saturation of magic... ... “Forgive me, Luna! Forgive me! I!... I...” Luna was irresistibly pulled upward, towards the Moon, which had, so far, concealed the Sun's light. How? How did it come to this?... “It’s a defeat, but not the end, Queen! When I and mother come back, you’ll pay for everything! FOR EVERYTHING!!!” Nightmare screamed furiously, standing nearby and not being able to dodge the sister’s last attack. It became dark in eyes... ... “Come on! Let’s try it again!” Luna is exhausted. Not physically - just tired of this meaningless effort. “Get up!” Black teenage alicorn gave her an eager poke in the side. Fine. Let’s try it again... ... “Useless.” Luna, sighing, sat down on a gray stone. “We’ve tried everything we could think of...” “You shouldn't have stopped me.” Young mare grumbled gloomily, sitting down nearby. “There’s nothing to be done...” Luna stole a glance at her daughter with apprehension. She was right in something, but... ... “Count it again and redo it! It must work!” Luna met Nightmare’s predatory eyes. Evil narrowing of eyes, tightly clenched jaws, ears bent forward bellicosely... “Do you understand, that it’s meaningless?” She sighed in answer. “May be.” Younger alicorn cringed. Not a teenager, already caught up to a medium mature mare by the height... And she’s spent all the time here, in banishment, where nothing exists... “But I’m not going to just sit and wait for no one knows what!” “If you're bored, maybe, you can help me with the castle?” Luna smiled faintly. “What’s so interesting in these useless glasses?” Nightmare rolled eyes. “Fine, let's go. Or you’ll just continue to mope...” “Oh, come on.” Senior alicorn's smile became more courageous. “The glass painting is going to be beautiful!” Black mare shook her head wordlessly... ... “I’m not going to do this anymore.” Luna stood up heavily, extinguishing horn. “Trying to escape from here is just useless waste of time.” “Not as much as building something on this piece of magical stone. If you give up - the Queen wins.” “Let it be.” Blue alicorn uttered indifferently, moving away. “Stop to sulk!” Nightmare, outrunning her, bumped a hoof into Luna's breastplate. “Yes, we’ve lost a battle - but not the war! We’ll be back. I will tear the heart out her chest personally, and we’ll reign Equestria together under the cover of the endless night! Queen will regret, that...” “Shut up!” Luna flared. “Don't even dare to think about harming her! Here, in this well deserved banishment, I've understood a lot for myself. But you, as it seems, have nothing! Bloodthirsty monster! Get away from me!” “Mom, why... Why are you speaking in such a manner? We... We...” This is the only thing Nightmare could panted. “Mom to whom? Reflection in the mirror? You're just a summary of negative emotions, which got something like a psyche by some irony! This beautiful landscape around is your achievement, monster! I would have never fought my own sister if your words hadn't convinced me to!” Luna spit out with hate. “I don't want to know you!” Senior alicorn's horn glowed, filling everything around with white light, and when it's faded away, only dazed and stunned Nightmare stood on the white sand, and tears were pouring down her cheeks. “W... Why?... What have I done to you, mom?” She panted. Silence was her answer. “Mom?” Looking around, Nightmare stepped back. No one was there. “I... Forgive and... Mom, where are you? Don't... Don't leave me here! Please! Just don't leave!” Alicorn, choking with her own tears, fell onto the sand exhaustedly... *** Luna sat up abruptly on the bed, gasping for air and feeling the tears streaming down her face and her heart pounding somewhere in her temples. Princess was pounding. Dashing away the wet from her face and recovering breath, alicorn leaned back onto the pillows exhaustedly, trying to get thoughts in right order after a heavy dream and cringing from the coming waves of headache. She remembered well what she had seen there. Too well... It seemed like only yesterday she was on the Moon, sharing her body with Nightmare and they were looking for ways to escape together... But this immaterial creature, Nocturnal, twisted everything at a completely impossible angle this time. Nightmare is the daughter? Luna, sighing heavily, got out of her bed slowly. For a few days now, sleep was almost never restful... The nightmares, which had come only occasionally and remained vague images and a sense of brokenness in the morning, now become more frequent and clear in recent days, no matter how hard Princess tried to restrain them with her crumbs of magic and her remaining dream walking abilities. A third bad dream this week... And their plot became similar as well: the clung entity found a weak spot and methodically stoke it, reveling in pain and fear... As far as Luna could judge, Nocturnal was old, experienced and rather strong. And, as she thought now, a similar - if not the same - clung to Nightmare... To... Daughter?... Alicorn sniffed. What a gibberish... No matter how strong and experienced this Nocturnal is, that stands behind this nonsense, was, but it's a clear miss... ... Ending with a constitutional walk, having breakfast and sending out the servants, the Princess of the Night was standing near a window, looking into the distance gloomily: damned dream just can't get out of the head, always trying to capture her mind. Daughter or not, but wasn’t Nightmare the closest creature during many decades? And she in her fear and misunderstanding for all this time didn't even try to get to know her... What was she? What drove her? Alicorn used to think of her as... For granted, her own shadow. And who's interested in aims and fears of their own shadow, even if it's sentient and has a personality?... Luna turned away from her immediately, thinking, that she's too dangerous - and until the last moment, when the spell started to turn off her mind, didn't even think of what can be her departure to her shadow... “If I had understood it right away!... If I had even thought about it!... Egoist...” Luna, drooping, sighed heavily, swallowing another comb in the throat for who knows what time recently. Egoist. Traitor. Princess bid lip, holding tears. It turns out, that she created Nightmare herself?... Gave birth to her into the world. No, it wasn't a filly's birth, of course... But... No matter what it was - she had created Nightmare, and then left her for death, as if she forgot her attempts to help, to support... In her harsh and not always pleasure manner, but still... She, Luna, wasn't a stranger for her - it's other way around: Nightmare saw kindred soul in her, like... Mother. ...Elder sister. “How to fix that mistake?...” Princess whispered with lips only and turned around, stopping her gaze at the working table. A few sheets of crumpled up paper were laying on the tabletop, a few broken quills, half-empty ink-pot... Write a letter and ask for forgiveness - the only thing Luna could think of, but a short letter, writing of which took almost half a day, hasn't been answered. Twilight's letter was laying a bit apart. Not getting any reaction at her message, Princess worked out the courage to write sister's student and find out about this reaction. Twilight in answer, losing her nerve and asking for excuse through a word, wrote disappointing things: Nightmare, being tortured the last two days by endless bad dreams, treated Luna's message either as an insult or as a mockery. Yes, the Princess of the Night ended her letter in a traditional way - with wishing good dreams, but... Her reaction was logical, if Nightmares thinks, that it's Luna, who sends bad dreams to her: no one said, that she lost her abilities... “She won't answer...” Sighing heavily and dashing tears, Luna sat before a table and, taking a quill, hung it above a blank sheet. Nightmare won't answer - but it’s not a reason to not try again. In the end, what else can she do now?... Alicorn, sighing again, wrote the first words on a pure piece of paper... ... Another sheet became a clod with rustling and swishing, and was tossed at the table in fury. Luna, getting up with a jerk, went to the window. Lost cause! It was... A seventh-ish attempt, hard won, carefully picked piece by piece from the rough work, and after rereading - tossed aside mercilessly, like the previous six. Bland, indifferent, illiterate, stupid! Not it! Luna, rubbing forehead with a sigh, looked back at the table. No, enough. What’s the point - there was no more strength, no more ideas... The feelings of the past hours had burned away a little too, leaving behind a tired, wistful indifference and a bitter understanding, that Nightmare will never give her forgiveness for what she had done... A sudden ring of bells in the pressing silence forced Luna to shiver. Someone came and wanted Princess’ audience. Opening the door reluctantly, she, ignoring the etiquette because of the fatigue, looked outward and cringed displeasedly for a moment: thestrals in their own repertory... Tall snowy unicorn, in which one can faultlessly seen Prince Blueblood, looked askew at the guard with apprehension, and she, masking her grin by a welcoming smile, was demonstrating her sharp fangs to the utmost. “Don't dare to scare Our guests anymore, Sharp!” Luna put the thestral in her place with a cold tone. She immediately closed her jaws with a knock, feigning the most indifferent look. “Greetings, Your Grace. Unfortunately, We have to ask for forgiveness about Our subordinates’ behavior... What has brought you to Us?” Alicorn addressed to Blueblood, looking at the guard as if looks could kill for the last. “Your Highness!” Unicorn caught a fore limb of Princess with a untraceable manipulation and kissed a hoof. “I’m so glad to see you again! Are you ready? Honestly, I’m very thankful: you've allowed me to become your guide during this event! I thank you for this vouchsafe, Your Highness! These three days were, I dare to say, the most endless three days in my life! O, stars, this waiting was unbearable!...” What he?.. Discord!!! Luna barely held smile on her face, almost panicking inside. Blueblood! Museum! She heard that there were interesting exhibits in the palace, got interested... Even, in the end, she gave in to almost desperate entreaties of the Prince and allowed him to accompany her... And she forgot all about it! “I beg to differ! Is this the time we agreed on?” Alicorn tried to find a way out of the situation frantically. Wait... What time it is? Discord!!! “Excuse me if I dared to disturb you, Your Highness.” Unicorn bowed. “I think it was beyond my strength to cope with the desire to meet you earlier!” He emphasized a smile. “Unfortunately, you’ll have to wait some time.” Luna panted with a forced smile. Hungry, with hair askew, red eyes... Closing door in a hurry, Princess called for the servants. Promise, even thought absolutely ill-timed now, is to be done anyways... ... “...And this is my favorite artifact! Look, Your Highness! Speaking sphere! These artifacts are created in pairs to allow their owners to speak at distance in real time! I’m sure you're surprised! This is a completely new development, the first pair was created only fifty-seven years ago and allowed to keep a stable connection for one and a half kilometers, and modern models work for almost ten! Alas, Whats Up, the magical doctor and beautiful in every way unicorn, who created this artifact, left this life as recently as five years ago... I must admit that I still admire his work. Such a potential!” Luna sighed gloomily. Blueblood, who was basically singing, was frankly getting on her nerves, and Princess wanted to be alone in silence now. But she cannot get rid of the unicorn, to whom promised to go with few days before: didn't have heart. Moreover, the Prince sincerely tried to cheer her up and brighten her day at least partially with his excursion for the "best Princess in the world"... But the imposition and, it seems, even a certain patronizing on the stallion's part was still annoying. Overall, sister's collection impress. Tia collected many artifacts and mechanisms in the castle museum: ancient relics and the latest developments, simple and complex, useful and not so, and sometimes - curious and amusing, like a lamp in the form of Tia herself, which, when turned on, raises a tiny magical sun-light. Luna smiled for a second and gazed at the exposition. The Princess of the Night's eyes caught some detail for a moment... “... Just ten ponypowers, but it was the first! You, as I assume, saw these. But look how Equestria stepped forward now! This monster has more than eight hundred ponypowers! The temperature artifacts heat the entire volume of water to boiling in just ten minutes, and the engine begins to produce power! And this... E-e... Your Highness? Your Highness!” Unicorn, noting, that he's walking alone, looked around perplexedly. ... As she approached the darkened, inconspicuous alcove, Luna froze, not quite believing her eyes. Here, far from the prying eyes of the visitors, a blade gleamed faintly in the light from the hall. Activating an illuminating crystal on the same place, Princess shivered reflexively, when its light put the ancient weapon off the half-darkness completely A very known weapon... Alicorn, hesitating, came closer, examining the glaive throughly, towering at the weapon rack. This splinter on the enchanted wood of the shaft was left by the battle with Sombra... And this pattern closer to the blade she had made herself - the knife had slipped, ruining the straight line. Had been sulking all day after that: worsened such a weapon with her curved horn indeed!... Luna, chuckling, lifted her gaze and recoiled back. For a moment, Princess thought there was blood on the blade... Only when she had calmed her first impression and looked closely, she realized, that it was just blackened metal... blackened, where the alicorn's blood had touched it. Celestia's blood. Sister’s blood. Luna barely swallowed the comb in her throat. How low can a pony fall? At first Princess considered the dark wizard, who had cursed an entire village of pegasi for a leering glance, to be the lowest degree of moral decay, dooming them to a terrible and slow death - and whom she had managed to save with incredible effort and ability by changing and redirecting the effect of the curse so, that as a result, those ponies turned into first thestrals, but were not killed. Then he was overshadowed by the mad archmage Sombra, whose desire to prevent the Crystal Empire from turning into a puppet of Equestria and preserve its freedom ended up in enslaving his own people and trying to drive them to war with the hated southern neighbor... And now Luna suddenly realized, that the worst pony, that had and have ever been now can be seen in the polished metal of the blade. Even Sombra hadn't betrayed his nearest and dearest, but she, Luna, betrayed and almost killed her sister because of jealousy. And then, because of fear and disgust, betrayed and left to death... Daughter. ...Nightmare Moon. And all she does now is insulting Tia for nothing, who has forgiven her, and complaining about life!... Can something be more... Disgust and useless?... “Your Highness, excuse me, I've lost you!...” Luna shivered, when the voice of the abandoned companion sounded behind her. “O, “Moon sickle”! This is your weapon, isn't?” Coming closer, Blueblood looked at the glaive with unrevealed delight. Princess shuddered. “No matter what some smarty pants say - it is not a replica, is it?” Prince asked with hope in the voice. Luna shook her head reluctantly. “Ha, I knew!” Turning back, he smiled with pleasure and, with some awe, looked back at the glaive thoughtfully. “You know... Looking at this weapon, I clearly realize, how hard your greatest victory upon this disgustful monster was, if even her poisoned blood left such traces on the metal!..." Disgustful monster... Monster, that was left to die by her own... Mother? Monster, who has never been told what happiness is... She's not a monster. She's not the monster! “This is Celestia’s blood.” Prince was interrupted by Luna. “Excuse me?...” Stumbling half-word, he looked at the alicorn perplexedly. “This is Celestia’s blood.” Princess repeated with a flat tone. “And I spilled it.” Shocked unicorn turned his gaze at the weapon slowly, then back, trying to say something, but not finding even a word. “I have betrayed and tried to kill my own sister. And then betrayed and left the Mare in the Moon to die, when she was my loyalest assistant, trusting me endlessly and thinking of me as the only friend. The only disgustful monster in this story is me.” Alicorn's empty and dead voice echoed through the wide hall and silenced. Luna took one last look at the glaive, resting on the counter, wiped away the tears, streaming down her cheeks with a jerky movement, and walked silently towards the exit droopingly, leaving Blueblood, frozen as a pillar of salt alone with his shattered ideal and the oppressive silence of the hall. ... Princess Luna came to her chambers already calm. She almost flew into the chambers in a decisive pace to, after passing through the living room, come to the table, full of crumpled letters, to almost disgustfully sweep away everything needless and to raise a quill above a blank sheet. Now Luna knew what to do. 32. A PackageAuthor's Note "Note: the main hero is really screwed up and therefore swears a lot more than usual." Original author's note. 32. A Package Pencil strokes laid onto the sheet with quiet rash. I draw - and I don't know what. Just drew, as during a boring class on the notebook's margins. There was absolutely no sense in that. Except for, maybe, training telekinesis... This has no sense as well. Nothing in this world had sense, nothing! From the start to this day! Everything, that I have done, led to nowhere. From the get-go. Settling down, familiarizing, looking for a job, friends - it was useless! It was useless for, if I can say so, “friends”, which always, every moment, had been seeing some scary ugly in me, only pretending, that I’m not, and it was for the world as well, which is not tired of showing its inhospitality towards me. I wasn't happy about this world either - surprise, huh? A childish cartoon, yeah? A piece of simulating shit, fucking bitch... Just take Luna alone... Crunch! Fucking shit! I threw the broken pencil at the wall furiously, which it slammed into, splattering splinters and slivers of lead. The last week has been a shit week already, but the past few days have broken all records. Well, how was I to know, that ponies are only good at talking about friendship?! Stupid horses, burn you all in hell... Just when you think someone is normal, you realize, that he’s an asshole after a week... Luna, for her fucking sake, at least does not pretend, that... Oh, no, she does, but not to me, but to the others, dammit... Even started sending letters: look, sister, how I try to reconcile! And that bad Nightmare just doesn't want and won't! Yes, fucking cunt, I don't want to! I'll carve that mockery on your tombstone as an epitaph, bastard! I couldn't get this paper out of my head, filled with subtle mockery, in which Luna told me, in a condescendingly arrogant way, that it was bad to be hostile and that it was bad in general... Filthy bastard... I wish I had never read it... "Submit, kiss my feet, become my toy - then there would be no hostility and the nightmares would stop" - is that what it means?! I was able to deal with the nightmares, though... Oh, Scoot... The only normal pony... I probably shouldn't have told you about the nightmares then, but I just couldn't find the strength to be silent. Then, after the memorable "day of betrayal," when I was walking away from Ponyville to the familiar lake shore, I suddenly bumped into the little pegasus, walking towards me. She could have just passed by, not even glancing at me, but she suddenly said: “Good day, Nightmare. You look worse than I feel"... She returned the phrase to me, the little brat... Yeah... For some reason, it made me say hello back, and then the little one somehow managed to hook tongues with me and... The only thing, that kept me from blurting it out was the fleeting thought, that I'd already turned my soul inside out like that once... in front of Rarity, let the fucking traitor have no bottom in hell when she finally rid the world of her presence... It was even more surprising, that Scootaloo, with a determined shift in her eyebrows, volunteered to "help me today, don't worry!" with a certain "reliable thing". And she did: when I was already struggling with sleep, wistfully awaiting the inevitable, the little one knocked on the library door, with her "reliable thing”. I don't know how she knew, that a double dose of sedatives with a glass of strong - by local standards - alcohol knock off feet anyone, and where she got the prescription-only drugs, but it worked. Taking triple dose just in case - we’re talking about an alicorn - which took the rest of the almost empty pack, I, to my amazement, slept more or less well. The little one just saved me... And in the afternoon she came by again, handing me a brand-new unopened packet of drugs and hurrying to hide from questioning. Not that I wanted to ask her about it... As long as it worked, I didn't care what it was or where it came from: it might have given me a headache, but at least I wasn't afraid to go to bed because some nightmares were so creepy that the mere memory made me shiver. I was especially impressed by Luna's idea that she could send her faithful thestrals to me so that certain Nightmare Moon would "go missing" in their endless mountain catacombs, becoming a laboratory specimen there to study the reproductive system of the alicorns... I twitched and swallowed a lump in my throat, remembering the image from that dream of a thestral with a medical saw, trying on my wing and commenting phlegmatically that... I shook my head and bit my cheek furiously. The pain helped distract me a little. A dream, huh? This is not a damn dream! This is a damn offer to go and die! Because if you don't - you’ll envy the dead, and Luna will surely take care of that... I squeezed my eyes shut and rubbed my face with my hooves to recuperate a little, and looked down at the drawing still in front of me. A dozen eyeballs stared back at me, dangling from the top edge of the sheet at the nerve endings. “What the fuck are you staring at?” I asked them grimly and turned the sheet, looking at it with an angle. The eyes were still staring at me. With a chuckle, I turned the sheet over. Pampering. One of phobias - manias? Fantasies? - of Nightmare. That the stars in the endless sky of the Moon are the eyes of the Abyss, watching her... I wondered why I feel so uncomfortable outside in the evening... Hell with it, let them watch. There’s nothing to look at. Except for the all-out betrayal of one trustful cretin... It already seemed, that there were those here who understood me... Well, "seemed.” Even Tia, who was trying so hard to gain her trust, showed herself. I hoped, that after Twilight's letter she would help - yeah, keep saying that, helping Nightmare Moon... First "Write to me, I'll try to help," and then, when this help was really needed - silence. And it was Twilight, who asked for it! But it had been before, and now it was strange, that she hadn't thrown me out on the street: her look was too eloquent, and that promised many lectures and sanctions, and this gaze was awarded by the unicorn, packing a medical bag, to me, when I returned to “Golden Oak” after my meeting with Scootaloo. He didn't stand my gaze for a second, though, resulting in her keeping complaints quiet... For the time being. But the feeling, that they barely stand me here, was growing every hour - and I don't give a heck, honestly. This world doesn't want to see me? So be it. Will choke over! Had to put me into the waste until I wasn't against that as well. Well... I don't want to live here, honestly. But if they chase me away so forcefully - I’ll try to retire with light behind my back, if a chance appears. Damn it... Cannot trust anyone... Only Scootaloo didn't betray... How?... “Nightmare?” Twilight's voice sounded in the half-dark suddenly. “What else?!” “There... Someone came, asked to call you...” “Who?” “They said they brought a package. Personally to hooves.” Wanted to say good words to Twi with her visitors. Unfortunately, basement's door has no lock... A-a, heck with it... Let’s see who is there. Maybe I’ll find a reason to scream at them... Getting up reluctantly, I moved towards the stairs. There wasn't even a trace of the unicorn: she didn't have a desire to meet with me more than needed. And that's right, go away, hoofed skank... Opening the entering door, I found two unknown pegasus in the same uniform, also unknown for me. The first one, hoary and with a dark mane, shivered upon meeting my gaze and hastened to lower eyes, as gray as she herself. A Monochrome one. Her companion, pale-pale purple owner of a bicolor sky blue-just blue mane, chose to have something instead of saddle bags, that looked.. Like sadomasochistic transport harness, to which a thick long parcel was attached. “G-good day...” Not lifting her gaze, the “monochromatic” one greeted. “Postal service of the Canterlot castle. There’s a letter and a package for you. We’ve been ordered to wait your answer and pass it on.” With these words, the gray one approached her partner and, unhooking the long thing from her harness, handed it to me, and after I picked it up with my telekinesis, deftly extracted the envelope from her bag with her teeth. “My answer...” I mumbled thoughtfully, catching the envelope. Telekinesis’ trainings paid off: holding two items, while not looking at them, wasn't a challenge for me... “We won't go inside, we will just wait here!” The black-white one exclaimed for some reason nervously, feigning a crooked smile and causing her colleague to sigh heavily. Ah, what a shame!... I grunted indefinitely, and as I closed the door and went back down to the basement, I finally got a chance to indulge my curiosity. A tug, ripping off a shapeless sheath of some cloth - and the metallic gleam of a blade in the dim light of magical lamps. I stared in a stupor at the predatory curve of the blade. A very familiar curve. There were even blood spots on the blade: subtle, slightly darker marks, as if etched into the metal with acid. With a sharp jerk, I got rid of the rest of the package and stared thoughtfully at the Luna's glaive, floating in front of me. The thin engraving pattern on the silver blade, the incomprehensibly glowing crescents on both sides of the blade, the underlay in the form of a curved spike... It’s a challenge. Extremely unambiguous. And it's well-timed: don't have to wait and wriggle to find a loophole to her neck... The only strange thing is that Luna gives up her weapon and not the first cheap piece of iron that comes along. Very strange. What's on her mind...? I picked up a plain white envelope, made of thick paper. No inscriptions, no seals, nothing. What have we got there? From the opened envelope, as expected, fell out a letter on a folded sheet of paper. I ran my eyes quickly over the text and crumpled it slowly, with feeling, trying to understand what was going on. The letter contained lengthy reflections on the subject: "It cannot go on this way, I can't take it anymore," a plea for forgiveness, a few words about giving me the glaive, and a request, that if I can't forgive her, I should tell her where and when to meet to settle things once and for all. And a signature: “Luna”. Abyss, what she is up to? Maybe she cursed the glaive before she gave it to me, to make my skin peel off? I eyed the weapon cautiously. However, a curse hardly kills quickly, and Luna, for some reason, let me choose the time and place... In fact, the glaive and the choice of a meeting place are not the strangest things here... Why does she make these hypocritical apologies here? Why does she need them if she's just going to get rid of me out in the open? Trying to buy time? But then she wouldn't let me make an appointment. Or would she only come if she liked the time? What's the logic?... Wait. "What's the logic"... Playing to the audience, of course! Wrote this letter with the some Cadence under her side, for example, so that later, showing my corpse to Tia, she could say: "Cadence is a witness: I suffered so much, I tried to make peace, but evil Nightmare didn't want to! I had no other choice, I'm so sorry, so sorry!” Trying to get away with it in every situation, huh, creep? The place and time she left to my choice is because she understands, that if she appoints them herself - I wouldn't go there at all, to avoid it. Also, she’s sure of her strength if she's not afraid to challenge me to a fight. Why she gave me the glaive, though, is still unclear... To show some semblance of nobility? "Semblance", yes... That's what Luna is all about. She pretended to be a good Princess at first, and when she hadn’t succeeded, she started to pretend being her sister, so that Tia would let her in closer. Tia had let her closer... After that, Luna successfully led me astray, making it look like she needed and cared about certain Nightmare, and now she is pretending, that she has reformed and nice and sweet and peace, joy and happiness. And they believe her again, as if nothing had happened... Not that the other ponies were far behind her, though. Vision of understanding, vision of friendship... But if you go deeper - it finds out, that the only real thing they had and have is fear. They all fear and hate me... Except for Scootaloo, I think... But in the end, who am I to her? A casual acquaintance, practically... It would be a pity if my death upset her. However, does it matter? You, Luna, for some reason, didn't hide behind your sister and decided to take me out personally, didn't you? After destroying real Nightmare Moon, after torturing me with bad dreams and depriving me of everyone, who could be my friends by messing with their heads? You couldn't think of a better gift! "Tonight, after the rising of the Moon. The Castle of the Two Sisters. NM.” The road to the castle was well remembered by the Nightmare's memory. Will get there. Die in a battle - a good finale. And if I can drag Luna away with me, it'll be bright as well. Just right. Today was definitely the best day I'd had all fucking week. ... Yeah, well, it's a good thing, that I thought of securing the sharp parts before swinging that thing, otherwise I would have been without wings, horns, and at least two legs. Telekinesis on weapons turned out to be a double-edged sword. On the one hand, as compared to my hands, my mobility was incredibly increased: I could strike from the most impossible directions and in any position of my body. On the other hand, control was severely depressed: the weapon not only did not feel like an extension of my hand, it was hardly felt at all... Without looking, it was extremely difficult to understand its position and to feel its size and location relative to myself - hence several sensitive blows, the worst of which - on the tip of the horn - felt almost as bad as a groin blow in the old days. Luna, fuck me with your horn! I had never been in so much pain before... A terrible pulling pain, brings sparks into my eyes, rolling all over my body in waves and reverberating in my skull forced me to give up my training for a good dozen of minutes and just lie on the grass and swear like a schoolboy. I was also able to get a good kick out of a well-twisted stick over my head... After that, I wiped away the tears and realized that telekinesis was not as cool for holding weapons as it had seemed before... By the way, the shaft, which before this training had caused some confusion by its very presence, also turned out to be more than in demand: the experiment showed that, first, the telekinetic grip, covering the blade with its field, makes it practically safe and one can just take the blade without any hilt, but one cannot use it in the fight, and, second, the size of the gripped area matters - and the long shaft allows to vary this size widely. The full-length field allowed a much better sense of the weapon and its position in space, but slowed it down considerably, as if it increased air resistance, and dampened the inertia needed for powerful blows. The narrow ring grip allowed you to spin the glaive at propeller speed, but the glaive's position, while using it, is very vague. In addition, as it turned out, the weapon can be dropped from such a narrow grip... As a result, the impression is, that by changing the area of coverage in a flash and shifting it higher or lower along the shaft, you can achieve exceptional control of the weapon: strike sharply and quickly, instantly extinguish inertia and strike again, block powerful blows or naturally knock down arrows flying at you... The problem is that this is clearly a pro weapon, that requires serious training, not some "peasant axe"... Damned Luna "graciously gave" the weapon, that requires months for training! It's good to have some time to get used to it, especially since my body seems to remember something... I stopped, paused to catch my breath, and stared thoughtfully at the swath of woods as I finished moving and put my weapon down. It's a path to nowhere, isn't it...? "If you're going to take revenge, dig two graves," and all that... Except... Why would I want to live, anyway? For what and for whom? It was scary and hurtful to die the first time, when I lost everything and everyone along with my life... But here? And here, in this stupid world, so outwardly similar to a children's fairy tale, I have nothing but an unkind name. Is it scary to lose? Yeah... I chuckled sadly. Avenge Nightmare and myself - or die trying, that's all. If I fail - heck with it. Don't I know that death is not the end? But if I succeed, I'll make this hypocritical world a little better. And you... You'd say my chances aren't great, wouldn't you, “Princess”? I barely know how to use a weapon, and I know a few spells that are good for fighting... Of course, that's not enough to win with confidence. Less than all you have, Luna - influence, money, men, and behind me there's nothing but emptiness, vengeance, and hatred. But that hatred is enough for three of your kind, bitch. It's time for you to pay your dues. 33. A Moonless Night“Hello, auntie!” “Good evening, Cadence.” Celestia nodded in answer, entering the dining room and, sweeping a gaze over the room, raised a brow in surprise. “Luna hasn't come yet?” “No.” The pink alicorn stated the obvious, which had come over the earliest and already took her place. Tia, with a shake of her head, settled herself habitually at the head of the table. It was a little bit surprising and, honestly - sad: sister loves to gather at the dinner after changing day to night and, usually, the last one to join others was the Princess of the Sun herself, still changing the day and night alone. It was hoped that in the meantime, Luna would regain her spirits and attend the communal dinner tonight, but... “How is she? I...” Alicorn silenced, shaking head helplessly. “Today, she didn't get any attention or care from me... Reports and letters had been continuing to flow in even with evening coming... “Fillydelphia?” Cadence dropped carefully. Tia nodded. “Newspapers wrote, that there was a fire on a chemical factory, but nothing concrete... Is everything very bad?” “I've not seen such catastrophes for a while.” Snowy alicorn drooped. “Several hundred cubic meters of fugitive gas... One factory building was destroyed in the explosion and burned to the ground, neighboring buildings were damaged... And my poor ponies... Eleven dead and almost five dozen injured...” “Oh...” The young Princess could only gasp, putting a hoof onto her mouth. A silence fell for some time around the table. “Cadence, tell me, have I done it right when I went there? Went and let my sister down, not being around when she was in need...” Alicorn looked at Princess perplexedly, but didn't say even a word, only shrugging with wings uncertainly. “This is a ruler’s fate... To make a choice and then live with its consequences, sometimes wondering: wasn't it right to do in another way?...” Tia dropped thoughtfully after a few seconds of unpleasant silence. “You still haven't told me how Luna is doing, Cadence.” “I myself just got back into the castle, and we met only for a second... She... Well... She didn't say anything concrete, tried to stand firm, but... To be honest, I thought she seemed very depressed about something, auntie. Something happened?” “It’s my fault.” Sighing, the snowy alicorn shut eyes. “I decided to help... To propel her into ponies, to give a possibility to talk a little, get acquainted with the changed society, to not be a loner in the castle... Luna agreed, and I started to organize a press-conference for her, but the explosion at the factory... I had to fly in immediately, reassigning everything to the press secretary...” “And did how she and you are used to.” Cadence stated. “Unfortunately... Just had to cancel everything and held it later!.. Minimal regulations and lots of communication were not what my sister needed, what she was ready for now... I came back just in time to the beginning, decided to look at it, maybe ask her some nice questions from the crowd, giving her a little surprise with my return... You know how defiant modern journalists are sometimes, but I did not expect her to be jumped on so badly.” Tia shook her head with sadness and added after a few seconds: “She kicked me out of her room when I came to support her...” “Oh...” “I let her down, it just happened... I hoped to apologize one more time today...” Tia sighed bitterly. “I think she's not going to join the dinner with us...” Cadence said after a few dozens of seconds of silence, glancing at a watch. “And... It's bad for her there, alone. Why don't we go together?” “I guess so... Let’s go.” Celestia rose from the table in a slight hurry, and the alicorns vanished in a golden teleport flash soon after. No one touched the food. ... A pair of thestrals, longing at the post near the big guest chambers, where Princess Luna still lives, met the Princesses’ appearance with cautious and inhospitable gazes. “Greetings, warriors of Night.” Tia smiled at them shortly. “Could you say me Luna's whereabouts?” “Not here.” Thestral, standing to the left of the door, said with disgust, not even honoring the Princess of the Sun with a formal greeting. Cadence looked harshly at the bold mare with indignation: she doesn't like etiquette either, but this, even without basic politeness?! But it seems, that Celestia took no offense. “Did my sister tell you where she was heading? Or maybe she asked to say me something?” Still smiling politely, Tia asked. “No. For both questions.” The guard finally said with the “knock it off already” look. Her companion, in his turn, didn't even think that he should react at the Princesses’ presence. “I’ll come in.” The Princess of the Sun's smile extinguished. Cadence, standing near, shivered reflexively: auntie voice’s tone seemed the same, but there was a feeling, that hallway’s temperature dropped a few degrees. It was clear, that thestrals got a chill as well: they didn't even think of getting in the senior Princess’ way, but did absolutely the other way - hastened to the sides. “Auntie, how can you allow them to treat you in such a way? It’s!.. I’m speechless...” Cadence shook head, when alicorns entered the entering room, the door shut behind them softly. “Children of Night... Have reasons to hate me.” Tia sighed, looking around. “I’m sure they’ll get over it sooner or later, but for the time being... Let’s not talk about. At least for now.” “Okay.” Cadence prolonged, following Celestia, which moved towards the bedroom’s doors confidently. “Luna, are you here? Sorry for disrupting your solitude, but I’m worried about you. Is everything good?” Elevating the tone, Celestia said into the space. Silence. Waiting a few seconds, snowy alicorn raised a leg and knocked. Cadence shivered at the literally liquid tension in the air. Attempts to calm down with by a thought, that Luna just chose to be alone didn't help: a feeling of an unclear disaster was pressing on. “Luna?..” Hesitating, Tia opened the door perplexedly. There was no one in the bedroom. ... No one was at the balcony, in the dining room, in the receiving office. Thestrals didn't lie: emptiness and voicelessness reigned in the Princess of the Night's chambers. “I thought, that my sister was resting here.” Sad Celestia dropped at last. “Let’s look if she left at least a message about her sudden destination...” The older Princess was right: rather quickly she found a note, left on the dressing table in the bedroom, which Tia hurriedly read out loud: “The further - the clearer my realization of the inability to undo what I have done, and, at the same time, I have no strength nor right to accept it. My action over Nightmare is a vile betrayal, and there is no excuse for it. Must stand before her - and let what is destined to happen. “Do not look for me - will come back, if there's a desire of my...” There’s an inkblot... Further: “...Do not chase her away, if she hasn't and take a high price. There wouldn't be her fault - only mine. “Sorry...” A blot again...” Celestia let the sheet go and thoughtlessly followed its fall with her eyes. “She decided to meet with Nightmare? But they will... She will...” Cadence lost herself. “They cannot make peace now!” “Not “make peace”, Cadence.” The auntie's smile made the pink alicorn feel uncomfortable: so creepy did it seem. “Luna knows, that Nightmare will show no quarter. She went to pay for her mistake...” “But Nightmare... She has changed! And now... And they...” Overwhelmed Cadence tried to insist with loss - even with a moan. Celestia stared at her feet gloomily and, after being silence for a few endless seconds, moved towards the exit determinedly without answering even with a word. ... “Where is she!? Where is my sister?!” When auntie speaks with her "cold” tone, Cadence feels unpleasantness. Now, as the Princess of the Sun's voice boiled with anger and despair, she hung over the frightened thestral, and the younger alicorn couldn't help but feel as if she was standing next to a forge. This... This gives chills to the bone. Seeing Celestia, usually calm and kind, in such a condition... “She didn't say!.. We don't know!..” Guard cheeped in answer, pressing herself into the wall, as if trying to get smaller. Cadence couldn't help but gloat: half an hour ago she'd been muttering through the teeth, but now her legs were buckling with fear... “Y-your Highness! His Excellency Prince Blueblood attended her today! He may know!” The second guard tried to save his companion with a shivering voice and shrank his head into his shoulders, when the Princess’ gaze nailed him to the floor. “Thank you.” She nodded dryly. “Cadence, come over here.” As the pink alicorn approached, both Princesses immediately vanished in a golden flash, leaving the terrified night ponies to recover. ... “Greetings, Blueblood. You...” Bursting into her nephew's office, Celestia froze in surprise. “A-a?.. It y-yo... Co-oome. Howdy..." “Are you drunk?” The Princess of the Sun couldn't hold an exclamation, stunned by what she saw. “A-a? Y-yeah, drunk, yes... What am I supposd to be, m-m? Lisn... There’s still something! Gonna?” The unicorn, with its snow-white coat and tangled mane stained with something from before, focused his cloudy gaze on the opened, but not empty yet bottle of wine and pulled his trembling hoof towards it. A golden aura got the bottle and brought it onto the floor behind Celestia. “So!...” The senior alicorn narrowed her eyes angrily. “Blueblood, something happened?” The younger one asked with pity at the same time, interrupting her. “Hap-p-e-ened?” He followed the flown away bottle with a sad gaze. “O-o, yes, hap-e-ened! It’s all y-your fault!!!” Unicorn almost fell when sprang to his feet sharply and, almost screaming, pointed towards Celestia’s way with a hoof in a blamable manner. “Mine?! What?...” “Yo-ou... You have bee-en ly-ying! Me-e... Lied to m-me! You... You l-lied to everyone! Said, th Luna is a... Is a hero! But she-e... And I respected ya! And her as well!” Unicorn's voice gradually died away, and he himself returned to his place by plunking awkwardly. “V... Very! Undrstand? It dsn't mean I don't respect ya now, nah... But I respect ya lesser, yeah... Nah... Yes, here. It's bad, ba-ad... You're... You're...” Smashed Prince silenced, either trying to remember a word or just losing the thread of his own reasoning. Cadence furtively glanced at her auntie, who had frowned at the Prince's words, and then turned her gaze back to Blueblood and sighed. It was hard to blame him for his current state... The Prince was almost a fan of the ancient hero, Princess Luna: beautiful, mysterious, and who saved Equestria by sacrificing herself... The absence in its place of the painting "Luna's deed", to which Celestia had been snorting skeptically - and which the unicorn himself had been adoring, made it abundantly clear what had happened. “Princess Luna told you?” Cadence tried to lead the Prince, experiencing the collapse of his ideal, to the right idea. “Y-yeah...” He, taking an advantage of auntie's gloom thoughtfulness, took another opened bottle and greedily took a sip right from the bottleneck. “Wanted, yeah... Achli... Achivm... Achi-ev-em-en-ts - here - of Equestria delight her... Take to a museum! And I... I di-id...” Blueblood waved away with sorrow and hit the bottle again. “Glaive...” Sharply straighten up Celestia whispered with her lips and almost ran to the exit. “Thanks for the help, Blueblood.” Hesitatingly, as if trying to apologize, Cadence smiled and ran after Celestia. “Y-yep... Hey you, pre... Prnant nags! More vine!” She heard behind her back. ... “Auntie!... Just wait!... What!... Happened?..” Celestia was hurtling through the empty evening corridors, aiding herself with her wings and entering corners almost skidding. Much smaller Cadence could hardly manage not to lose sight of her. Only when she finally froze in front of the double-wing door, nostrils flaring noisily, the pink mare managed to catch up with her. “Museum.” Semi-interrogatively - semi-affirmatively said the junior Princess, turning her head to the senior one, but not achieving any reaction from her even now. Celestia, standing with closed eyes for a few seconds, pulled the door. It’s closed: the time is late, and the keeper of the castle museum left, and obviously had closed the hall until the next morning. “She is not her!...” As if with carefully concealed despair, Tia whispered to herself, and after lighting the horn again, she opened the doors with a sharp and furious jerk, wincing momentarily as the deformed lock fell out of the right leaf with a crunch and screech and rumbled to the marble floor. The younger alicorn, sighing softly, followed her. She has never seen her auntie so agitated in all her life, it seemed... Meanwhile, Celestia had lit a firefly on her horn, shining like a small Sun. She didn't even seem to think about lighting the lights indoors... “Luna? Luna, are you here?” The Princess of the Sun's voice, shivering from the nervousness, echoed through the hall. “Auntie..." Cadence tried to address her, but she didn't even seem to notice, striding resolutely to the right wall and along it to an inconspicuous alcove at the far end of the hall. The pink mare shivered. She didn't love and never understood violence, thus not leaning towards weapons at all, a few of which can be seen amongst artifacts in this hall, but one exact almost frightens her. The one, pushed away from prying eyes into a distant alcove. There was some talk of the glaive resting there... Experts in archeology and blacksmithing said it was a late replica, some thought it was an accidental weapon that had nothing to do with Luna and Nightmare Moon... But to her named niece, who decided to follow the Mare in the Moon's advice and ask more about those events, Celestia reluctantly told her that the glaive was the real weapon of Princess Luna. And later, in a fit of melancholy, she also initiated into whose blood had permanently etched the frightening smudges on the blade. Cadence tried not to think about it too much, but the thought of it gave her the creeps. And Luna and Nightmare... they're not like that!.. Meanwhile, Celestia, almost running up to the alcove, stopped dead in her tracks before slowly settling on the floor, staring at one point. It was empty. “What happened, auntie?” The Princess of love stroked her mentor with her wing in pity upon arriving. “The glaive... Luna took her...” She panted with a dead voice. “I hoped... Hoped, that we'd get early, that she'd just... Silly, right?” Alicorn sighed in a blood-curdling manner and covertly dashed a tear with a wing. “Took the glaive...” Cadence mumbled and, recoiling back, stared at the senior Princess with terror. “Is Luna going to kill Nightmare?! But they are... But it's...” The pink pony bit her lip desperately. “No. She’ll give it to Nightmare... Or already did and...” Celestia sobbed, hiding face behind a crease of an elbow with shame. “For what?.. Cadence, for what?! What have I done wrong, that I don't deserve a mere calm life with my little sister?... I had been dreaming about her return so much... It’s not been even a month... Why?!.” Tia, sobbing, froze, causing her companion to shamefully stare at the floor. What can one say here and now?.. “Get a grip!..” Suddenly, the older Princess hissed angrily after a few seconds and, wiping her tears away with a sharp movement, straightened up, directing a heavy stare at Cadence. “When was the last time you saw Luna?” “I don't remember exactly...” Young alicorn hesitated. “I think around lunchtime. She was on her way to her room... And she didn't seem to be in the best of spirits. We exchanged a few words and she hurried away, citing business matters." The younger Princess frowned, trying to remember the events of the day. “Around lunchtime...” Tia repeated gloomily. “It means... I’m going to Ponyville right now. Nightmare's there and... I’ll hope there’s still some time. I don't know... This is the only thing I can count on...” The snowy mare stared at the floor gloomily. “And you, raise the guards and organize a search here: it's doubtful, but maybe Luna hasn't left Canterlot yet... If you realize she's not here, send some guards to me.” I don't know what they can help me with, but... they might be useful.” “Understood.” Cadence nodded seriously. “Involve the Night Guard?” “Involve everyone. Everyone you can! Buzz the Luna's guards about the time of her leave and report - do anything! Help me... Find...” Celestia swallowed the lump in her throat with force and, not ending the phrase, hastened towards exit. ... “Your Highness?!” Dazed Twilight bowed in a hurry. “Rise, my dear student.” Tia smiled forcefully. “I'm afraid I was forced to come here at this late hour for not a good reason. Where’s Nightmare Moon?” “I... I don't know...” The unicorn looked down confusedly, rising and stepping aside. “Come in, please, Princess Celestia!” Tia stepped from the chill of the night into the warmth of the library and almost immediately felt exhaustion come over her. A hard day, exhausting with a lot of problems to be solved all at once; wings aching from the long and difficult flight during an unusually cold summer night, which, as they approached Ponyville, was complemented by low clouds, brought by the wind from somewhere in the Everfree’s way, and a drizzle. Teleporting that far in light of a possible... of possible complications was unwise. It would have been wise to teleport with Cadence into the museum to save time, but... At the right moment, Princess didn't even remember that. Tia sighed softly. It would have been wise to use the chariot as well, which would have taken her to Ponyville without such a waste of energy, but waiting for it to be ready to fly proved unbearable... Unable to feel the time wasting, Princess hastened to fly personally. Luna, why did you do that?.. Nightmare, you really can't spare her life, can you?.. Alicorn, sighing again, chased her thoughts away with a force of will. It’s not the time. “And I haven't seen Nightmare since lunch." Twilight continued. “She left as soon as she got the package, and she hasn't returned since.” “Package?” Celestia contacted her brows. “The one you've sent with your postal service...” “But nothing...” Princess hesitated, but caught herself in the same moment: “Luna!.. Twilight, tell me, what was in the package?” Mare stared at the student's face with nervousness, as if trying to read answer on it. “I... I don't know, Your Highness...” She recoiled back, laying her ears back. “We haven't talked much these days and... Well... Here and... I just saw that there was a long something, if it matters...” Tia clenched her teeth and rolled her jaw. Why, Luna? Why?! For what?! “Did she leave right after that?” Alicorn managed to get a grip. “Yes, but I only heard the door's slam, and I don't know where she was heading to...” Celestia shut her eyes helplessly, feeling her heart starts to lose its pace, tears come to eyes. Too late. Where could Luna have rushed off to at lunchtime, when she met Cadence, and where could Nightmare have gone at the same time with the weapons she had received in the mail?.. They had met when she, Tia, had been going through the papers on her desk... It’s too late. No. No! Maybe Luna took off later, during evening? Cadence met with her at lunchtime, but that doesn't mean her sister left the castle at the same time! She, probably, passed the letter with the glaive and suggested a meeting outside of Ponyville to Nightmare... But in the middle of the night it's not realistic to quickly find those who saw something... The letter! Place and, most importantly, time of the meeting! “Twilight, where Nightmare has been living? I have to look at her things.” The last phrase forced to cringe from her own doings in mind: be nosy, search without a permission... Backstabbing. But what's the other way? There's no choice left... “Yes-yes, of course, let's go.” Unicorn smiled nervously and moved towards the descent into the basement, causing Tia to raise brows in surprise for a moment. The basement, which, contrary to expectations, was quite spacious and even somewhat cozy, looked almost uninhabited to the Princess's momentary bewilderment: it looked not like a place to live, but more like a place where people come to forget themselves for a short nap before another bleak day. All that suggested it was inhabited was the mess on the table, strewn with sheets of paper, and the bed on a camping mat on the floor. The Princess's gaze flicked out a torn envelope on the bed that almost merged with the blanket. It was the letter! Celestia hurriedly approached the table, noting, that the usual ink pot was not on it, but it was to be expected: there were only a pair of sharp pencils, apparently untouched. Amidst the creative clutter on the edges of the table, a blank sheet of paper, laying in the middle, stood out. Is it?... Celestia picked it up, turned it over, and flinched, when a whole bunch of eyeballs stared back at her. Despite the monochrome, these eyes and nerve endings, where they seemed to hang from the edge of the sheet, looked extremely realistic, frankly frightening in their appearance. In addition, the feeling that they were looking right at her never left... Tia tilted the sheet with a morbid curiosity, that she didn't understand, and felt a chill, when the feeling didn't go away: all those eyes seemed to keep looking right at her... The creepy drawing went to the stool next to her. Put downward - but for some reason this did not help to completely get rid of the feeling of someone, looking into the back. How and why can one draw this?.. Sighing quietly, Princess casted a gaze at the stool, cringed and decided to swiftly switch to the searchings, quickly going through the thrown paper at the table to find text on it and reflexively sorting out the blank and covered with drawing ones. Blank sheet... Blank sheet... Some abstractive figures... Here!.. No, it’s just a book's text rewritten... Blank sheet... Where is it? Where?! Heart was pounding frantically in the temples, throat was dry. Tia felt time drain away, like water through a sieve, with all her being. Blank sheet... Something... What is this?.. No time! Text!... Discord, another citation! Blank sheet... Blank sheet... Letters and drawings before her eyes started to fade, blurring into one gray bulk. “Your Highness... Something happened?” Twilight came closer hesitatingly, shivering from the Celestia’s semi-sigh semi-moan. Princess didn't answer, continuing to run through the papers in the same mechanical way. Unicorn noted mentor's eyes shining from tears with surprise and fright. “Your Highness, can I help you?” She walked around the table and stood in front of the alicorn, trying to get her attention again. She dropped another sheet back onto the table and casted a gaze at her, which made Twilight feel really uncomfortable. She had known Celestia almost since her childhood, and in all that time she had seen different things in the Princess's eyes: joy, pride, sometimes fatigue, and sometimes worry or sadness. But never before had Twilight seen such confusion and hopeless despair as now. The mentor immediately rushed through the papers, as if hoping to find something among them, that would surely help, and now, not finding it at once, she simply shifted them senselessly, trying not to burst into tears. “Y-your Highness.” Magician said, overcoming the fear and pity on her soul. “Princess Celestia, what are you looking for? “Maybe I...” She hesitated, unable to offer help. What can a simple unicorn do against such a thing, that brought a powerful immortal alicorn into a state of despair?... Tia sighed, closing eyes. “The letter...” Sighing again, Princess looked at the student, when Twilight already began to think, that answer wouldn't come. “The Nightmare Moon's letter. From Luna.” “The one that came a few days ago?” Lavender mare specified quietly. “Nightmare burnt it. With clear pleasure...” “No, the one that came today, with a package. Envelope... It should be somewhere here!” “I think...” Twilight again walked around the table and came up to the Nightmare's bed with a swift pace, checking her fast-paced guess. Eyes did not let down: between the folds of the blanket, next to the torn envelope, was a lump of crumpled paper. “Here! Your Highness, is it?” Unicorn carefully lifted the expanded sheet in a happy manner. “Oh, Twilight!..” Tia furtively brushed away the tears with the tip of her wing, feeling her legs shake all at once. “A big thank you!” “Don't mention it... It’s alright...” Magician confused, passing the sheet on to the mentor, covered in a fine hoofwritten writing. She hurriedly picked it up and read it eagerly... only to fall to the floor with a despairing groan and let it fall to the floor with the extinguished horn. “Princess Celestia! Are you alright?” Frightened Twilight jumped to the alicorn to see her mentor soundlessly weeping with closed eyes. “There's... No... Nothing...” She panted with a cracked voice, that gave the unicorn a creepy feeling: this is how dead and lifeless it sounded. Shivering, Twilight lifted the sheet and quietly, under her breath, read it aloud. “The realization of what I have done kills me more than any poison. I did not know what I was doing, but I destroyed your life. Even realizing the worthlessness of my speeches in comparison to the evil I've done, I can't help but beg for your forgiveness, no matter how empty your eyes may be of such nonsense. Forgive me, Nightmare Moon. Please give me your answer, whatever it may be. The weapon, that came to you with my message, may it be a gift to you as a sign of my desire to be reconciled to you. And if my words of repentance are not enough for you, name the place and time where and when I must answer in deed to you for my wrongdoings. I have no more strength to endure the guilt in my heart, and I will accept any decision of yours, whatever it may be. Luna.” “What does it mean?...” Unicorn asked into the space with loss, swallowing the lump in her throat. The letter was unclear, but it reeks of something... Of something ominous. Why Luna apologized to Nightmare? Why gave her a weapon? How she was going to... Magician twitched, when a realization struck her mind like a lightning. Is it?.. “Nightmare will give no quarter to my sister...” Celestia panted as if agreeing with the thought. “But... It’s... We must do something! I... It must be stopped! Tell me what to do, Your Highness!” Twilight frantically babbled, looking at her desperate mentor frighteningly. “I have the Elements of Harmony right here! We'll stop Nightmare and save your sister! Except... where to find her?..” The unicorn finished in confusion, realizing exactly what her mentor had hoped to find in the letter - and what had killed the last vestiges of hope in her. “Tell me, Twilight, why?! What did I do wrong?!” The distressed alicorn whispered in a fractured voice. “I didn't... Please, Princess Celestia, I... We'll... We'll think of something! Everything will be right, really!” She blurted out, retreating toward the stairs. The magician felt, that if she delayed any longer, she would burst into tears herself. Seeing her firm, always optimistic mentor in a such state was beyond her power. But she could help... at least try to help her - and she was going to do everything a mere pony could do. Already on her way upstairs, the unicorn heard a muffled sobbing behind her. ... The oppressive silence in the library was broken only by the howling of the wind and the sound of drops on the glass, so frequent, that it merged into a coherent hum. The storm, brought by the wind from somewhere on the side of the willful Everfree Forest against all schedules, was in full force. Twilight was willing to bet, that she had a lot of ill-wishers in Ponyville tonight, trying to track down those, who could tell where Nightmare has gone. But alas, it didn't give the needed results... The Mare in the Moon was obviously seen around the library, another places and, finally, heading towards outside Ponyville. That’s all. Naturally, no one followed her any further, and the ominous mare could have gone anywhere: from the Everfree forest to the train station... And it would have been good if someone had given the exact direction! Some said she was heading towards the lake, others said she was heading towards the farms, and still others saw her walking towards the Everfree - all these ponies were confused from their sleep, lost, answered in the wrong way, unable to remember exactly whether it had been yesterday or not... Dash thought, that only the gloomy Castle of the Two Sisters could have been the place, and she was bursting to go, ignoring the fact that she was already badly punished by the medics for flying with Gilda and the fact, that the already long and dangerous trek in this weather would be even more arduous and dangerous: First, the crossing of the river, and it's obvious, that it has risen because of the downpour, and then through the ravine to the castle, over the frail bridge under the same downpour and gusts of gusty wind... And that's not counting predators, not all of whom would be afraid of the weather... So Applejack, in turn, was inclined to believe, that Nightmare was rather gone to see Luna somewhere where they would not think of looking for her: the castle is a too obvious place. Fluttershy had nothing concrete to offer, merely expressing a timid hope for a happy resolution of the situation... Twilight herself tried to logically calculate where the Mare in the Moon might have gone, but she quickly realized, that she did not know her well enough to make more or less accurate conclusions, and without it, the options seemed about equally likely... The magician caught herself, that the further she went, the more inclined to the adventurous and ill-conceived, but more active idea of Dash. It was so unbearable to sit and do nothing... Rarity and Pinkie, on the other hand, were frighteningly passive, when they found out what was going on. And if the white unicorn answered her questions quietly or brushed them off, Pinkie Pie said, that it was all her fault, and her words drove Nightmare to all this... They almost had to break up Rainbow and Pinkie Pie, which Twilight honestly did not understand: why Pinkie suddenly began to defend this cruel and heartless pony? She herself recounted with undisguised horror how she had mistaken her and what she had done to Gilda. The state of the griffon, when they caught up with her to render aid, drove the Princess's student almost to horror. And at first she didn't believe the rumors, that Nightmare was going to kill her! Fortunately, the Ponyville hospital, though not fully capable of treating non-ponies, did not refuse to accept the victim... Anyway, none of them could think of what to do next. And time was inexorably running out... The viscous silence was suddenly shaken by a demanding knock, causing everyone to shiver. After hesitating a little, the librarian, wearily exhaling, moved towards the door. Behind the door, to her surprise, was... “Cadence?!” Twilight stared disbelievingly at the nanny, who smiled faintly at her from beneath her wet hooded cloak. “Cadence!” The unicorn threw herself on her neck after letting her in, but then, with an embarrassed groan, she hurriedly retreated as the guardsmen followed nanny into the library. “Greetings, Twilight.” Alicorn smiled wearily, taking off the wet coat, but turned serious immediately. “Where’s Princess Celestia? I’m happy to see you, but...” “I understand.” Magician sighed. “Her Highness is here. Let’s go.” She moved towards the basement. “There’s no need in ceremonies, please!..” The young Princess, embarrassed for a moment, murmured to the other ponies bowed in front of her and hurried after her apprentice. ... “Auntie, are you alright?” Cadence immediately ran to the older Princess after descending. Celestia looked... Frighteningly. It creates a feeling, that she has faded from the inside out. “Cadence.” She casted an extinguished gaze at the pink alicorn. “Tell me: did I do the right in keeping Nightmare alive? Or it was a mistake?” “We should try to save any life.” She mumbled evasively. “Any? I swore to defend every pony, Cadence. And I couldn't defend even my own sister! On the contrary, I put her in danger, and I didn't protect her..." Tia closed her eyes helplessly. “You did what your good heart told you to do...” “And what's the result?” Celestia’s piercing glaze forced the young alicorn to step back for a few steps. “It's ironic... Nightmare herself pointed at my unreasonable trustfulness more than once...” Cadence wanted to insist - but what you can do against facts?.. “Princess Celestia...” She broke the long silence after a dozen of seconds. “One of the thestrals gave me your sister’s letter... It says where Luna has gone to.” “She's alive?!” The snowy mare, on her feet at once, was hovering over her niece. “I don't know...” She drooped. “It's old... Your sister left it to her night ponies with instructions to give it to you or me at a certain time... And these!.. These!..” Cadence waved with her wings indignantly, trying to find words. “These shameless scoundrels searched the whole palace and circled half the city, pretending to search, knowing for sure. that Princess Luna is not there!!!! Here, look at it!” The younger alicorn held out the scroll to the older one, who took it eagerly and stared at it intently. “Ti, if you're reading this letter, I may no longer be amongst the living. Forgive me. But it's unbearable to feel disgust towards myself. Even crazy Sombra did not fall to the point of hurting his loved ones, but I, because of my pride and envy, betrayed you and fought you until the last drop of your blood, as if you were not the closest thing to me in the whole world. Not knowing how, I created Nightmare Moon from my magic - and she had been supporting me, like a ~~unreadable~~. And I also betrayed her, condemning her to perish in emptiness and silence, as if she were no one to me. Now, having forgotten your forgiveness in my egoism, I dare to complain about fate and send you away, being useless and ~~unreadable~~, unable to bear my wretchedness, I could only do one thing right in my life: find my forgiveness before you and ~~unreadable~~ Nightmare Moon.” The letter seemed to break off at this point, continuing on at a small interval, already in a noticeably more nervous handwriting. "I don't know what I was hoping for. It was obvious there was no possibility of forgiving such a monster like me. Nightmare told, that she would wait for me at the Castle of the Two Sisters after the Moon rise, so that I could answer to her for my treachery. I leave shortly. Do as you must, let it happen as it must. If I do not survive this night, so be it. You will not harm Nightmare Moon in the slightest because of her decision, which is my final wish. Farewell, sister. Forgive me. Luna.” When Celestia looked up at the end of the letter, Cadence felt like she was standing on the edge of a volcano. “It is not going to happen.” The Princess's voice was bone-chilling. The sheet of paper, instantly bursting into flames, crumbled to the floor in weightless ashes. After a few moments of hesitation, the snowy mare took off, flying swiftly up the steps. Cadence and Twilight hesitantly glanced at each other and rushed after. The night greeted them with a chill, wind, rain, and darkness: no stars or Moon were visible over the clouds, that covered the sky. Cadence instantly felt, that she's beginning to freeze, noting out of the corner of her eye Twilight, her friends and guards’ shivers from the icy drops of rain, they ran together in the street with Princesses. Celestia, as if she hadn't noticed the weather, turned towards the Everfree without a second thought, galloping away at a pace, that even the younger alicorn could barely keep up with, let alone anyone else. “Auntie!... Maybe!..” Cadence tried to call out the older Princess through noise of rain and clatter of the hooves on the road, but was forced to be silent to not lose her breath. Celestia didn't even pay attention to the calling. Houses whizzed by, lanterns and trees flashed by... On the outskirts of Ponyville, the Princess of the Sun stopped unexpectedly, peering intently into the black forest through the gradually weakening rain and letting the others catch up with her. Away, puffing and panting, the guards stopped running, and they were looked at by the blue pegasus with a multicolored mane with superiority, as if she had not noticed the run, Twilight, gasping to catch her breath, pressed her hoof to her ribs, and the orange pony with a hat was speaking to her about something... Cadence turned away with a sigh, and then, after a moment, walked towards the statue-like alicorn. The cold drops stung the hot runner's body - thankfully, the downpour had almost abated to a light rain, and it was possible to shield from it with wings. But gusts of prickly wind were almost freezing to the bone... “Au... Your Highness, what are you going to do?” “I’m going...” She answered after a little bit, still staring at the forest. “I’m going to enter... The forest... Luna?!” Cadence, turning her head sharply, peered through the darkness at the same place, at which the older Princess was now, stretching her neck and gaping at the darkness. Couldn't see even a thing... Being tired of trying to look from here, the pink mare started to follow Celestia, who was already moving towards whatever she somehow saw in the night. “Luna, are you alright?” Tia raised her voice, making the already bright firefly on her horn quite dazzling, causing the surrounding darkness to flare to the sides in fright before the Princess of the Sun. From a shorter distance, Cadence could finally see the indistinct silhouette and the bluish glow of the approaching pony's magic, barely visible in the light of the few stars, that peeked out from behind the clouds. Alicorn smiled in relief: that seemed to be the color of the Luna's magic!... Celestia's footsteps, meanwhile, were slowing for some reason... Cadence paused beside her, feeling the tension of frozen Princess grow in her body as the silhouette slowly approached. What is it?.. A stomping became silent behind: only now did the young alicorn realize, that the guards and Twilight were also following them... “Luna?..” Tia called hesitatingly and somehow shyly. And, sobbing, backed up on shaky legs, when a figure loomed vaguely in the darkness and looked up at her with dimly glowing turquoise eyes with vertical pupils. Nightmare Moon stepped into the circle of light with an unsteady pace. Gusts of wind fluttered the twisted purple mane and tail of the black mare, almost melding into the landscape in the darkness. Mare in the Moon's horn glowed dimly, holding the glaive beside her, its blade gleaming ominously with crimson stains. “It’s over...” She said with a slurred tongue and, suddenly rolling her eyes, she dropped her weapon, stumbled on the spot, and sat on the ground emotionless as a puppet. “No, Luna!.. No!!!” Tears poured from the Celestia's fixed eyes, hiding from the witnesses in the raindrops, looking at the mare's feet, which just collapsed before her. And tongues of flame ran timidly through the multicolored cloud of her mane. 34. Blood On The BladeI can't. I clenched the teeth in my jaws until pain. Come on! The glaive, held over squinting and silently weeping Luna, did not move. I can't! Damn it! Weapon was hesitatingly lowered in my grip... And was up for yet another blow. Hell no! This bastard show me what hell is clearly! Abandoned me where death is a coveted luxury and an unattainable dream! A blade, slashing her neck, is a lot less than what she really deserved! But I’m not her to torture others for centuries, so only one blow... Abandoned me? She abandoned Nightmare... Me, Nightmare... Does it fucking matter?! And Nightmare is worth avenging for her! Did she deserve all that?! NO!!! Thus, this bastard will pay for everything now! The glaive rushed down... No! I can't!.. ...And froze again, not reaching the obediently planted neck for a few centimeters. Luna, sobbing, shivered, feeling the move, and shut her eyes even tighter. My gaze was fixed on the tip of the blade, hovering over the blue fur. My heart was pounding in my temples, I was shaking. A lump of rage and... incomprehension was crawling in my chest. What the hell?! She must die! Why?.. Why can't I just take that damned traitor and destroy her?! I can! I can everything!!! With a short, furious growl, I raised the glaive again, determined to do what I have to. And froze again, staring intensely at the silently weeping alicorn before me. Lonely. Defenseless. Not even trying to stop me. Fucking hell, what this shit is all about?!.. “A-arg-h!!!” I hit her shortly and sharply on a leg with the shaft, causing her to sob and wobble painfully, she reflexively tucked her leg in. “Damn it!!! Stop to whine, pathetic! Come on! Resist! Why don't you do something to save yourself?!” The tail, as if it had a life of its own, was slapping me violently at my sides as I paced nervously in front of Luna, staring at her. What is she doing?! What is she up to?! What?! “You lured me out of Ponyville to finally rip my head off and spit on my body or what?! What are you?...” Not being able to find words, I stepped aside and brought down the glaive onto a near old commode, giving the screaming emotions inside me an exit. Splatters of rotten wood splattered, some rusty metal piece rattled and flew off... The commode crashed in half with a pathetic creak and crunch and, raising a cloud of dust, rested in pieces on the dirty floor. “Come over here, bastard!!!” I grabbed the blue one by the scruff of the neck like a kitten and yanked her towards me. Luna, not awaiting that, stumbled and, screaming painfully, spread eagled on the floor. I raised the glaive again and, freezing for a second, let it down with a furious moan again. I can't!!! Why?! “What did you do with me, scumbag?!” A lump in my throat prevented me from speaking, and I could physically feel the blood coursing through my veins with every heartbeat, giving me a wave of heat and a rumble in my ears. “Speak!!! Answer, you!.. Ar-rghh!!! Why can”t I kill you?! Damn it!!! Why?!” I swallowed heavily, trying to get rid of the burning in my throat. Fu-u-uck! What’s going on?! Why?! She knew about this for sure! And now! “B-because... You’re... better than me...” I could barely hear Luna's voice breaking into a whisper. “What?! How do you control me, scumbag?! HOW?!” I grabbed the alicorn by the neck as she struggled to rise and pulled her in front of me, staring frantically into her weeping eyes. “I... Do-o... Not...” She panted. Hesitating, I eased the grip. Will squash it later... “J... Just...” Luna sighed with a strain, hiding gaze. “You're better than me... Kinder... Y-you care about... About others’ feelings. What... What will become of them, if you... D... Do... It. For me then... I didn't care... I... I became pathetic... I let the fear of... Of you defeat me. And you... You're just stronger than your hatred...” “Enough!!!” I tossed the alicorn into a wall with a roar. “Stop playing games with me, Luna!!! Why can”t I kill you?! Kill mercilessly and go away, stepping over a dead body?! Why?! Why?!” I hissed through clenched teeth and closed my eyes, trying to pull the chaotically running thoughts together. I can't kill her! Take it and... Smash the obediently placed neck!... No. If only there was a battle going on... But this is beyond my power... Or... I stared hard at the tear-drenched pony with her right wing hanging limply, trying to get to her feet. Pathetic! This fucking scumbag knew it was going to happen! Came alone, without armor, without weapon - even without stupid regalia! And let me do the job! And if I don't do it now, she will remember everything afterwards!!! How could she know, that I won't be being able to do that? Since the fact, that Nightmare is her “art”, cretin! And how much of this body's mind is stuffed with bookmarks one can only guess! Maybe I don't even own my self! Gibberish!!! I'm the one who decides what I do here!!! And I’ll prove it!!! With a roll of my jaw, I stepped decisively towards already cautiously straightening Luna and brought the glaive up again. Alicorn turned her head to the sound, and in her eyes, filled with tears, I saw my own reflection. “If out of anger... out of anger of Our sister you fear to cut off Our life, then..." Luna sobbed, “To Celestia... We left a message, that if... In which..." Alicorn's voice trembled. She squeezed her eyes tightly and dashed tears away nervously. “In which our will is stated: not... not to do you harm and... to accept your choice in any way and..." The pony sighed frantically, simultaneously lowering her head and again putting her neck to the blow. “S-sorry!..” Somehow, this was the last straw. Screaming, I brought the blade down... Luna called out pitifully before collapsing onto the floor again. With a resentful clang, the bloody blade slammed against the stone floor, spitting out a sheaf of sparks. I jerked back, staring helplessly ahead of me. That’s all. That’s the end. I can't. I... I turned the blow aside. Blood slowly trickled from the incised wound on the left shoulder of the alicorn, clutched almost at my feet, staining the floor. The lump in my throat prevents my breathing, heart beats in the temples resonantly, driving blood through the still alive body for no reason. Idiot, pathetic, nonentity! Couldn't handle even this! Now she's!.. Tia doesn't know, that she’s dangerous! No one knows! Now she will kill me, and then!.. Is it she who's dangerous? Came to me and just put her neck obligately without a fight?.. She knew! From where?.. And does it matter anyway?.. When I took my eyes off the blood, which seemed black in the reigning half-light, I turned around and walked slowly, shuffling my feet one by one, to the window. It is the end, isn't?.. Nothing left... No strength, no will, no sense in continuing it... The sky is so beautiful here... It tingled in my eyes. And it's very bright, after the twilight... I was more used to seeing the orange sky of the metropolis above my head at night, with the light of the Moon and the two or three brightest stars barely breaking through... But here... The heavy rain clouds crawled further towards Ponyville, revealing a real splendor over the ruins of the castle. And the Moon here is so huge... And even the feeling that this bottomless sky is looking back at me almost did not spoil the impression. “N-nightmare...” The quiet voice trembled like a taut string. Somehow it's a little sad to see all this for the last time... Since Luna is alive, there's only one road for me now... She won't spare me... I hope. Sorry, Nightmare. I’m a shitty avenger... And Scootaloo... Damn it, I never told her about Balk... And now it's probably no longer the case... You too, little one, I'm sorry... “ I... I realize that... there are no words to undo what I've done, but..." The footsteps clattered slowly behind me arrhythmically. “I m-must... Do at least something in my life... Do something right... P-please... I want to fix...” “Fix it!!!” Turning around sharply, I tossed the glaive to Luna's legs. She froze mid-step, staring dumbfounded at the clanking weapon, that has fallen in front of her. “Well?! What are you waiting for, you stupid blue idiot?! Come on! Take it and finish it already!” I yelled at Princess, that was pretending dumbness. “Fix... Everything!...” I lost voice, the lump in the throat prevents from speaking, eyes were burning for some reasons, causing the environment to blur. “Nightmare...” Luna, going over the glaive, came closer. “I didn't want... You... I really...” Alicorn, drooping, exhaled slowly. “Sorry. That... Maybe I... Maybe I can do something for you to?...” She lifted her gaze hesitatingly, but looked away upon meeting mine. A clinking voidness reigns in the head, emotions tear apart. Hatred was screaming, fury was boiling, tears of rage and offence were choking, and the heart was squashed by a piercing feeling of loneliness. I hate and scorn myself - for being weak and worthless - and Luna at the same time. Helplessly wanted to live... And to die, ending this nonsense, at the same time. I did not understand where Nightmare, and where me... I did not know what to do next... I did not know what to do... I did not know... I... ... Tinkle. Ks-s. Tinkle. Ks-s. Tinkle. Ks-s-s. Throat is in pain, damn it... Tinkle. Ks-s. Tinkle. Ks-s-s. The bent, rusty candelabra, floating in a cloud of my magic, bumped rhythmically against the stone wall, which I stared dumbly into, and slid sideways, scraping against the stones. Tinkle. Ks-s. Where did it even come from? Nah, it doesn't matter anyway... “N-nightmare...” Here this bastard is. What else do you want from me?! Don't looking, I tossed the iron thing behind, at sound. Tinkle! Miss. Damn it. “Nightmare, how are you?” Turning around wordlessly and stopping my long gaze at Luna, I turned to the wall again. Pathetic... Couldn't even kill her. Couldn't even with emotions, and now it's a lost cause!.. And instead of getting a grip and... Don't know... Finding a damn solution - just went into hysteria! Shame, nothing more... I could do nothing. Nothing. “Can I?..” “Get lost!” I turned around with a jerk. Luna's quiet voice, which was coming closer cautiously, got me angry in a moment. “Do you hear me?! Go away now!!! Leave me a... Alone!” My voice treacherously trembled, and tears began to form in my eyes again, which only made me angrier... but I didn't have the strength to be angry anymore. I didn't have the strength for anything... Why?! Why me?! Why it put exactly me here?!.. Why Luna left me?! Why chases and wants to destroy me?.. Why isn't everyone I could have counted on around here anymore?!... Why I can't do anything?! I just want to go home... You wish - there's no home left. There’s nothing left... “Who would I be if I leave you again?” Princess whispered, coming closer instead. I hastened to look away. There's nowhere lower to fall, but letting her also see my tears... “In the recent day I felt, that my whole life is one big mistake.” Sighing, Luna started to speak quietly. “Worthless Princess, awful sister...V... Vile t-traitor...” Sighing brokenly, she went silenced. Yeah, very good for you. And? I panted a wry smirk through tears. “And... And now...” The blue one worked up the courage. “I decided, that I have to do something right in my life... At least earn your and Tia’s forgiveness for all the evil I have done...” “Want a forgiveness - go back six hundred years! You won't earn it here!” Finally dashing the liquid from my face, I found the strength to chuckle unfriendly. “But you... You still spared my life, Nightmare. It means... Maybe it’s not a lost cause for me.” “But it is for me!” I answered against my own will for some reason. “I got tail down and didn't strike! What now? More of your nightmares every night, until I, to your delight, jump under the train? Or wait for you thestrals, which will cut my throat open at night?” However... Does it even matter? I... I don't know. Why should I keep trying to find a place in the Sun in a world where the Sun is as sham as the local "friendship"? “W...What?!..” Luna twitched behind me, slipping and groaning from pain. “I’m not!.. Oh... But...” She silenced for a moment to freeze nearby with a noisy exhale, almost touching me. Hey... Have been in that body for so long - and didn't know, that ears turn to the sound. “I didn't... I didn't do and didn't want that, Nightmare!” The blue one broke the hung silence. “The thestrals wouldn't dare hurt any of the Great Mother's hypostasis, and I've lost my talent for dream-walking... I didn't think it was even possible, but..." Luna sighed again. “I suppose the Elements of Harmony deemed me unworthy of this gift and... And, as my sister thinks, passed it on... passed it on to you.” Now she's going to tell me that all these horrors I've been dreaming about are also part of the "gift”. And she, of course, had nothing to do with it, yes... “No, I... I haven't lost my skills." She admitted. “But... What I could do with a flick of my tail before, I can barely do now... I've... I've had nightmares lately, too, and I couldn't even protect myself completely from them...” Good for you. Again. “I saw myself leaving you alone on the Moon... Time after time... And... I couldn't stop it, no matter how hard I tried..." Luna sighed, and stopped talking sharply. Are you playing with me... Or... Or not?.. However, it doesn't matter. I’m tired of everything. "I-I... I-I really... I... I'm infinitely sorry, Nightmare... Maybe I...?... Oh, if only I could do something about it!..” Luna stopped short, not being able to hold a sob. “Too late.” I stated gloomily, turning around and getting the alicorn out of the way, coming towards the exit from the destroyed room. There’s not even a bit of the desire to stay here more. There is, blue one, an expression, that ponies will not understand for lack of the right words in the language: "You can't put the stuffing back through the meat grinder.” “Live, you bastard, since I'm too weak and cowardly to kill a defenseless one. If you really have a shred of conscience left, I hope it will avenge you for me!” Stopping at the doorway, I dropped for the last, not turning around. And if there’s none left - you’ll get rid of me, of Tia... Doesn't matter. Not for the first time, but Tia... After the hysteria, the bubbling rage wore off, leaving a bitter sadness, resentment, and a kind of indifferent stupefaction. I didn't want revenge. I didn't want to fight. I didn't want anything. I just wanted to say fuck all and be alone... In darkness and chillness... “N-nightmare, wait!..” Shit. “What?!” I don't know why, but I turned around for some reason. The glaive was floating near Luna. So this is how it is, yeah?.. “You... Here, take it.” She twirled her weapon elegantly, pointing it at the floor, and suddenly handed the glaive to me. “And... I’m thankful for this second chance. I didn't earn it.” Luna imitated an awkward bow, moaning from the pain for a moment. Giving the blue one a long stare, I took the weapon and, turning around, started to go further. Idiot! How could you forget it!.. But still... I don't understand. “Why didn't you attack?” I couldn't stand it, so I turned back to Luna, staring me after with a wistful gaze of her tear-stained eyes. “For what?” She asked simply in answer. To get rid of the threat! “To fix” “the mistakes” of the past! And then!.. What "then”? If she wanted to get rid of me that badly, she would have hit me. Or she'd just call her sister to watch, and she'd turn me into a pile of ashes the moment I put the blade over Luna. Yeah, Tia, as a matter of fact, can still do this thing... For threatening a Princess and stuff... Shit... However... I don't give a fuck, honestly. I'll just tell Scootaloo, that it's okay with Bulk - I promised after all. Let at least this kiddo have a normal life in this stupid Equestria... “The only normal pony”, heh... I’ll gift her my helmet, as a tribute. And then I can even vaporize - there’s nothing to do left. And Luna... “For what, you ask? Do you even need a reason to stab in the back?” I chuckled gloomily, noting with mischievous pleasure the blue one's twitching as if she was slapped in the face. I turned and headed down the corridor, glaring at the despondent Alicorn one last time. She does seem to have some remnants of conscience, m?.. Well... If she does, and if I'm not wrong, then her life itself will be the best punishment for her. Not the revenge I was counting for, but... It’s better than nothing, right? With a wry smile on my face, I stepped over the shattered wreckage of the monumental front door and out into the night. ... I walked on the damp ground, inhaling the scents of the forest after the rain - a little stuffy because of the lack of wind, the cool, damp air carrying hints of grass and flowers. However, no matter how hard I tried to put everything - anything - out of my mind and just not think about anything, the thoughts kept creeping into my head. One thought, if to be precise: “Why?” Why couldn't I kill Luna and why she didn't take advantage of that? I... I always thought, that revenge is... I don't know, silly? You get hurt, you hurt back - and who gets the good? No one. I was already through this - and what? And nothing, damn it! “Revenge is a dish, best served cold” - is it? You can serve it cold, hot, even with beer - it still tastes like... Like emptiness and disappointment. I chuckled in a sad tone. Yeah... It’s all good and stuff, but the revenge is not on the first place. For the starters - Luna was going to kill me! This is why... What "why”? I froze mid-step and, lagging for a few seconds, exhaled slowly, finally lowering the risen leg. Could have Luna killed me? Piece of cake, a dozen of different ways! I was going to a dead end, not counting on getting alive from the castle. I was not going to win over Luna! And the conclusion is pretty simple: if she had wanted to - I wouldn't have left the place. And wouldn't have even got there. She should have sent a bomb instead of the glaive, so that they had to scrape me off the walls... But she didn't it. She came where she was told to. Alone. And all this time she was just... Begging for forgiveness?... And I, as it turns out?... Stop, not about it anymore! I shook head evilly, chasing the thoughts away furiously. “I have a problem, by the way! And the magnitude of this problem is greater than expected... Damned downpour!” I looked at the rushing stream, realizing, that with these thoughts in mind, I, somehow, got to the river and made it to the shore without noting that. Yeah... In the afternoon it was about half as long and significantly calmer - I trivially used my telekinesis and tossed my armor and stuff to the opposite side, and then swam over myself. Why did I even bring the bags? Habit, damn it ...I had to pick up some scattered coins and look for a shoe, that had flown into the bushes, but that was the end of the problem. Now it's different... However, after walking along the shore, I considered my first impression somewhat exaggerated: I could probably get my things to the other side, and wings would help me with the dangerous-looking current. There was no wind, and I could fly farther. I’ll do it. I had only one small problem with flying: I somehow happened to know how to land only on water. I was used to just breaking my trajectory when I wanted to interrupt my flight and falling into the lake with a spectacular splash, damn it... I stared thoughtfully at the river, rumbling in front of me. I didn't want to fall into the turbulent stream with a strong current and an unfamiliar depth at all. I’ll get caught in some trash on the bottom, or get tangled in some algae and drown for fucking good... I would have to land somehow. I mused about it, trying to think of something that would help... so that the next moment I could turn around and raise my weapon, when I heard a sound of erratic footsteps behind me. Luna. Alicorn limped closer, glancing at me, and leaned her shoulder tiredly against a tree, resting her wounded leg. The blue one looked... Exhausted. She had bags under her eyes, her mane was tangled and sticky, “decorated” with branches and other debris, and her left leg was bleeding from shoulder to hoof, and it looked like it wasn't going to stop. Not an enemy. I think she’ll kick the bucket by herself soon... “What are you doing here?” I asked slowly and grimly, as I lowered the glaive. “Following you.” Luna answered after a moment of hesitation, restoring breath. “I... I don't remember the way well.” She added shyly after a few seconds and looked away. Slowing, I turned around, waving away in thoughts. She got here - I don't care... There wasn't neither strength nor, honestly, will to chase here away. Only a will to get to a dark dusty corner, where no one can touch me, hide there and fall asleep. So... “Nightmare!” I flinched, when a sudden call snapped me out of my thoughts. “I... I know how this is going to sound." The blue one sighed, uncertain as she continued to capture my attention. “And it's embarrassing for Us... I mean, it's embarrassing for me..." The nervous alicorn corrected herself hastily. “Do me a favor: don't waste my time with these antics!” I spit out evilly and, looking at the shy horse with an angry stare, looked away and moved towards the river. Hearing her words isn't in... “I need your help!” I stumbled in the next step and, regaining my balance, turned around again with a jerk. What?! He-e-lp?! I... You are!.. How dare you?! Rage inside started to burn, demanding to say something, but I couldn't even find the words for it. Yes!.. Yes, she!.. “Nightmare, please, listen to me!” Luna blurted out hurriedly, shuddering slightly under my frantic gaze. “I know I have no right to ask you for anything, but... I'm afraid Our health... Mine... I... I can't cross the river myself. Please, I beg your help - and I dare not ask for more." She bowed her head. I let the air out slowly and hissed through my teeth, trying to calm myself down. Took a few deep breaths. “I assure you, We... I’ll find something to thank you for!” She interrupted my silence shyly. “Thank me”, huh?.. “For what?” I spit out evilly. “I don't need anything from you! Especially since these are just words that you will forget as soon as it benefits you to forget them! Benefit - creating some Nightmare Moon for fighting Celestia. Now it's not - you tossed her away, as... As...” Not finding a comparison, I waved away angrily. “Now it was to your advantage to not show up as one who has strength and to not kill me, so that you could kill Celestia, who had forgotten all about you, and have someone to blame, right?” “Kill?! Blame?!... Nightmare!... But!..” The absolutely confused alicorn looked at me in horror, her ears pressed against her head. “What “but”? You were the meaning of my life!” I pointed my glaive angrily in her direction. “The ultimate truth! You were everything, Luna! You were a whole world!!! And I was nothing for you!... I don't believe a word you say! And won't, you hear?! If you get lost - that’s right! Get away from here!” Turning around, I made a few steps towards the river's way - and, dropping the weapon onto the ground, sat on grass. My eyes were stinging and burning, a nasty lump stuck in the throat, head was under control of a ringing emptiness, with occasional thoughts racing through it. Not everything was said in the castle, not everything... I couldn't hold it... And spoke as Nightmare Moon again. Do I care, though... I shut eyes limply. Cold, tired, hungry... I wish I could go home now... Home, where end is decided... I'm so sick and tired of everything here... Maybe... maybe just don't go anywhere, that's all...? For what? Who needs it? Me? For what? Why would I go back? Wanted to help Scoot... And still didn't bring the gift to Fluttershy... Pfft. If only there was a reason to... There's one in a way. A shitty life is still an opportunity to do something and come to something eventually. Learning how to fly, for an example... Death is just the end, after which you can't achieve anything. And cut it off! That’s all! Stop whining! I shivered angrily and put the naughty exhausted body on feet. Have to go. Why - will know tomorrow. For now I’ll live for a sleep after all this - I don't want to die sleepy! Chuckling gloomily, I moved towards the river. ... I squinted and looked again at the opposite bank, trying to see and remember the places where my equipment had landed. One shoe fell almost at the edge of the bank - barely made it... But I’m lucky today: nothing has drowned. The wind almost died out, the storm front crawled towards Ponyville and rumbled gloomily somewhere there in the distance. I have a little thing to do - fly across, not die while landing and not lose everything, that I've tossed across the river. Now I’ll take off and... I noticed, that I just stall time. All these thoughts were running through my head for a third time, but I just stood there and... and every now and then I casted a glance towards the silhouette, that stood against the moonlit river, nestling near the shore. Luna. I didn't notice exactly when she stopped swallowing her tears and went that way, and then I forgot all about her, getting ready for the crossing: the blue one no longer tried to draw attention to herself in any way. She didn't try - I don't care about it. I shook my head in anger, trying to push the unwanted thoughts away. Why should I care about her? I couldn't kill the bastard, stupid... And now I probably won't be able to. And what's the point? It made me angry, but I couldn't help thinking about her behavior - and that it was far from what I had imagined, to say the least - I kept catching myself in it over and over again. The blue one, the one before my eyes today, was not the kind of person who would kill Tia and blame it on me, or torture me with nightmares... They didn't come unarmed or put their necks to the blade. She knew I wouldn't do it! Heck, where she knew it from?! This body was not created by her, and the mind, as it seems, appeared somehow spontaneously... I may be extremely vague, but I still remember that its emergence did not seem to be a meaningful action. I remember the Luna's amazement and bewilderment! And the present mind, that dwells in this body, has little in common with the original mind at all. She couldn't have known anything... And what difference does it make anyway? She's wounded and won't last long here anyway! Deserved it! Goodbye, brute. I opened my wings, flapped with them and... Stopped for some reason. Leave her here?.. Tired, unarmed, with a damaged wing and serious blood loss, she'd get herself into someone's mouth pretty quickly - I think there'd be enough creatures, willing to do that I shook my head again, growling angrily. Do I feel sorry for her?! She has enough: after out meeting, her head is still at the same place, where it has been this morning. I don't care what she'd do now! She left me to die - let her meet her death just the same! In darkness, silence and loneliness!!! How would I be better than her then, m? Leave her to die - and just walk away... The hoof slammed into the ground with fierce fury. One, two... The tail flicked fiercely at my side. What then? Maybe I should even help her, huh, dummy?! Why should I give a shit what will be of her?! If she gets eaten, I'll laugh at the news headlines later: “An ancient immortal Princess-alicorn has been eaten by the wolves in the woods”! I don't owe her anything! I wish this “immortal Princess” to be in a grave!!! I could barely suppress the angry growl in my throat, so I stared at the water, my nostrils flaring angrily, trying to calm myself. I closed my eyes for a few seconds, took a deep breath, and then looked around, after my emotions had subsided. My gaze was focused again on the silhouette against the Moon's glow in the water. Luna glowed dimly with an occasional blinking horn - either tired or unable to concentrate - and waved it over her wounded leg, put it down, and, extinguishing the horn, settled down, hunching over. What the fucking shit?!... I shook my head like mad, trying to get rid of the obsession. She dies here - it’s her problems!.. And Celestia?.. I bumped into this thought like into a wall. Even if Luna didn't lie about asking to not harm me... But... What would Tia feel about losing her sister?... She left me as well! Everyone left me!!! So why... But how it is better than a kill by your own hands? Because it allows you to formally consider yourself innocent? But in fact?.. “Fuck!” Not being able to hold it, I stated with a feeling and, exhaling through teeth slowly, I moved to the traitor. To save her. You weak, gutless idiot, snot-nosed wretch! If only father could see... ...he'd be proud of me. Because he would have done the same, I think, and he taught me to do the same. Damn it. Damn it! I stopped, looking daggers into Luna's back just before a few meters away from me. The right wing hung limply, the blue one, cradling her wounded leg, cried silently, occasionally shuddering and wiping away her tears... “It is scary to helplessly die alone, isn't, Luna?” I deliberately poked her in the back with my hoof in a harsh way. “Get up. If you're willing to get out, of course...” I ended, while on the run, turning around and moving towards the planned place of crossing. Damn, what am I doing?... I stopped near the hoof-ridden patch at the water's edge and glimpsed the alicorn, crawling after me. Fine... In any case, this idiotic and stupid choice was made already there, in the castle, when I backed down and didn't succeed: the traitor will live. B-bitch... If only we had a fight, if... “It’s not scary to die, Nightmare.” I shivered, when a quiet voice suddenly sounded behind me. “Scary... It’s scary to die as a butcher, not earning the forgiveness for the monstrous and disgust things I've done...” Mare sobbed. “It is, but you’ll have to.” I chuckled gloomily. “Even if it is from old age. So.” I cut the annoying conversation, getting to the business. “I wouldn't be able to drag you to the other shore even if I wanted for some reason. I’ll give you a lift as high as I can, but after that you're on your own, got it? Fall into the river or break your neck while landing - and I’ll write something funny on your gravestone.” “Rest in pepperoni, scumbag”, as an example. I smirked with the edges of my lips gloomily. “Ready?” “Nightmare...” Shivering, the blue one called me instead of an answer, hiding gaze, when I paid attention to her with a gloomy squint. “We’re thankfu... Thanks. I don't deserve your help, and you're still... I’ll definitely find the way to thank you for giving me a second chance despite everything. I... I’m ready.” Instead of ending the sentence, she turned to the river, exhaled sharply and gathered up. Yeah, yeah, you already promised to “thank me”. Yeah. Keep saying. “When you kill Tia during your beloved race to the power - don't blame me!” I grumbled, taking a more stable pose and enveloping her with telekinesis and tossing upward and forward full blast even before Luna could insist. A-a, damn!.. A flash of pain burned the horn, causing to clench teeth ‘till it scrabbles. Waiting for a few seconds and recovering myself, I didn't want to waste more time and took a short acceleration, pushing off with a blow of my wings. My stomach habitually fell down, my legs lost their footing. Rear pull back, front - folded to the chest ... Working... Below me, shining in the bright Moon light, the water rushed noisily. A swipe, another one... Gaining a little more altitude, I began to glide towards the opposite shore, while trying to look for Luna. I don't think I heard a spit in the water... Then where?.. There! My eyes barely managed to catch a winged silhouette in the darkness, somehow hesitantly gliding through the air significantly below me, almost on the water. Now she’d catch on and go down to the bottom, like an axe. Good riddance to bad rubbish... Alicorn understood it perfectly as well and started to work with her wings. One, two, three... On the fourth stroke, she suddenly, twitching, pressed the right wing to her body and with a sharp roll collapsed into the water, not reaching the shore three meters. I think there was already a bank before the river flooded... After a moment, I heard a short cry and a splash of water. Well... Okay, stop looking! I still have to land! I hastened to turn my gaze forward. Damn, the altitude I gained is useless... I have to come down, and I don’t need this speed for landing... I carefully directed my flight towards the ground, expecting to land on the edge of the water. There were only bushes and trees after this point... I can see them even on my landing zone from time to time. As usual when landing, the surface, which have just been somewhere far below, came abruptly closer, flickering right under my feet. Speed! Lower with flaps of wings... Not much! Late! Legs! Fucking shi-it!!! The ground mercilessly struck my hind legs, and the inertia rushed forward, making me bite my nose, forcing me to hurriedly move my limbs in an effort to slow down. I barely closed my eyes before bumping into a bush with rustle, scrabbling skin against the harsh branches. Fuck! A-a! Damn!... Oh, fucking hell... This was somewhat scary a little bit... I exhaled slowly, feeling my heart pounding frantically in my chest as I stiffened and finally stopped. Okay... Let’s think I've landed. Somehow getting out of the remains of the plant, I moved to the river. My legs ached from the impact, body was sore from the fresh scratches, in addition to the aching horn and the gradually growing headache. I’m tired as hell... And I've had enough of magic it seems - Luna, fucking bitch, has one hell of a weight, and I lifted her in such a way... And this way seems good - with a complex mix of emotions I stared at the blue one, which literally crawled from the water and started to cough. “Why don't you die?” I greeted the damn mare with a sigh when she cleared her throat and found me with a troubled gaze. Shit floats, indeed... “Tha-h-nks for not leaving me there.” She panted, not noting my words, still laying with the tail and hind legs in the water. “You owe me.” I replied plainly and, turning around, moved to find the scattered gear. ... Ah, fuck you! Another furious rush finally had a result: the branch broke with a crunch and hung along the trunk, allowing me, at last, to untangle the straps and pull my invariable bags off it, so "fortunate" to have flown into the tree... Hooking them somehow in their proper place, I put the cold metal of a shoe to my forehead beneath the horn cautiously. Oh, damn... A little bit more of it - I’ll kick the bucket... Head hurts, horn hurts, hind legs whine a little, wanted to sleep, wanted to drink, wanted - not even to eat - to devour. And this is despite the fact, that in Ponyville, where I'm going now for the lack of other options and the banal knowledge of the road only there, the only person who would be glad to see me is Scootaloo, and I don't even know where her house is... I know where Twi's is. She wouldn't be happy to see me for sure, but I think she wouldn't go against Tia’s task - help and accommodate. Unless, of course, she canceled it, or meets me right there with a battalion of guards, supported by a platoon of battle magicians... Yeah, fuck... I didn't think a lot about the future... And what’s the fucking point of doing so, when Luna, who's literally better in any way and who should have buried me into the castle's ground in a couple of minutes? Yeah... Here she is, by the way. The blue one crawled out of the water completely, but apparently she didn't have enough to do more: she was lying on the beach, only wiggling her ears sluggishly and looking up at me when I approached. I don't know how, but I somehow understood, that she's deathly pale... “Nightmare... I... I love my sister! Why you...” Luna hesitated, trying to find words. “I remember your love towards her. The same one you had before leaving me! Anyway: the rest is over, get up!” Feeling, that I was getting hot again, I slowed myself down and deliberately dryly ordered her. “You’ll rest in the great beyond.” Keep saying that, lovable... You always cared about yourself only! Scumbag... “Y-yes... I... Now...” Slowing, alicorn nodded with an effort and, trying to pick up her legs, straightened up... to immediately roll her eyes and start falling right onto me. “Hey!..” I tried to catch her with telekinesis even faster, than I realized what's happening. Abyss, she is unconscious!.. “Goddammit stinking damn! Fuck!..” Not being able to hold her and the glaive, that was already on me, I recoiled back reflexively from the senseless body, that fell like a sack. Damned horse!!! Fucking horse meat! Do I have to take you for a ride on the back, too?!... I spit in the grass with a feeling and, dropping the glaive, sat down where I stood, staring at the carcass in front of me with a wistful, doomed anger. “You're such a burden, Luna... Abyss.” Carry this... this!.. Damn, she's even bigger than Applejack! And I can barely stand with my weight... On the other hand, it's not a long way to go now... Maybe just drop her?.. Yeah, then why did I work so hard to get her here? Because unbelievably stupid... And sentimental as hell... But to leave her here to be eaten and just walk away... But Tia? But Fluttershy?.. If they find out... Pfft! It'll be enough if I come out of the woods and Luna doesn't. And let’s give this topic a rest. Yeah, I don't know why I'm doing this, but... but I can't help it, snot-nosed idiot... If I'm doing it, I’ll try to bring it to a close. Or I just had to leave her there and not worry about it... Just... A-a, let’s end this and let happen whatever would happen. “I’ll regret it.” I mumbled with a sigh, cussing out myself for the last time. “If you don't know what to do - do what’s good. Even though it's idiocy...” I pulled the blue one onto my back, and, holding her up with magic, I got up with an effort. Uh, damn! Luna weighs, as expected, a way more than Fluttershy. Shit, she even slides when I walk, damn it! I sniffed angrily, making just a few steps. Fine... I have the glaive, so if it gets in the way too much - I’ll find the thing to cut so it wouldn't fall off anymore. Raising a leg for another step, I, sighing, put it back. I've had enough... I don't want to go anywhere... Sighing again and overcoming the desire to drop Luna and fall right next to her, I still managed to get myself going. I already thought about it. And - what did I say?.. - I’ll rest in the great beyond. ... “Yes! Go fucking away, stupid mutant!!!” I yelled hoarsely as the mixture of a lion and a bat disappeared behind the trees. “And also farewell to the scorpion.” I chuckled wryly, glancing at the stump of the distinctive tail with the curved sting, that laid on the grass, staining it with blood and still twitching reflexively. “Oh, fuck...” Making a few steps, I collapsed limply against a tree. A nasty cold and numbness was spreading from the point of impact on my left hind leg, head was buzzing, temperature seemed to be rising: my own breathing felt like it was burning. Sticking out the tongue, I started to catch rare raindrops with it. Wow, I almost caught up with the storm front, crawling towards Ponyville in a leisure pace I’m sure there's a downpour... The brute creature emerged next to me almost out of nowhere, attacking me lightning-fast with its tail. Noted it in the last moment, tried to dodge it - but to no avail: the sting just hit my hip next to the cutie mark instead of neck or side. Couldn't this fucker hit Luna instead, huh?!.. Counterattack with the glaive left manticore without a good half of its tail, forcing it to retreat, but it didn't make me feel better. Damned poison!.. Fine. Have to go. It’s not that away. I moved away from the tree, dragging my leg, that was swiftly losing its sensitiveness, and limped to Luna, that has been thrown to the ground at the beginning of the fight, and after giving her a long look, I dragged her onto my back. Where to go after that?.. Yeah, I think it’s there... Let's go... It’s not a long way... I just have to be awake... ... The rain is getting heavier... I can see the light... It’s close... I can't... Go, come on!.. Fuck, it's so cold... Head... Hurts... It’s over. Forest is gone. Forest is behind. I see flares... Ponyville... It’s near... Damn it... Almost... Luna, damn you... Lay... Still... Fuck... She fell... Won't pick up... Don't give a shit... Have to make it... Light... It’s so close... It's getting stronger?.. So... Bright... Tia? I came... I think I came... Turn down the light, Tia... It’s over... 35. A Look BehindAuthor's Note "All is not lost yet, is it?" Original author's note. 35. A Look Behind The Sun was shining, reflecting on the spires of the towers and the decorations of the passenger airship, floating leisurely and majestically passing by. Ponies were rejoicing at the new day, nature was blooming and singing... I turned my gaze away and stared at my feet, grinning. All this joy outside the window was only more irritating in the background of those feelings and thoughts, that were now circling in my head and did not give me peace. It's not an often situation, when I feel like such an outright selfish bastard and a total jerk, and I can't even find an argument against it... I betrayed Tia. So boldly, spitting on everything she has done for me - for a suspicious and very likely hostile fucker, who didn't even wander in the street, but came straight out of a maximum security prison, as a matter of fact! Betrayed even without a reason, following some ideas, suspicions and interests - and I understood it only now, what a schizo! Fucking God damn it... It's Celestia, who called me a friend. I think this is the kindest creature I've met in all my lifes, which treats friendship very seriously in her life! And I rejected it demonstratively, as I remember, trying either to play dumb and "do not understand" or to translate it into a joke - somehow I felt that with Luna it would not end well, and did not want to make any commitments. Like, since I did not call you a friend, then I can not betray your trust, I promised nothing, blah blah blah, it's nothing to do with me! Fucking dialectic bullshit! Double-hearted fucker! Blamed Luna for so much: Luna is a traitor, Luna this, Luna that, Luna plans, I’m not Luna, I’ll not fall to her level!.. And what’s the result? Created some stupid things, like she did - and was frightened by the result. Tried to get rid of the threat, like she did - and would have succeeded, if she had shown even a hint of aggression, if she had shown herself as the creature I've seen her! “I’m better”, yes, cretin?... Spit on everything Tia has done for me, on her trust, kindness - and went on killing her sister, not even questioning its rightness! Yes, I didn't! But I can cross my heart and hope to die - the sunny horse night regretted her choice to not kill me during our first meeting at the spot during this night a thousand times. And I, too, no matter how much I fought back, trying not to trust her, still saw her as ... if not as a friend, then as a good acquaintance, at least! She was the one who brought me out of my melancholy, who healed my wounds, who gave me my first lessons in magic and flying in the world, who lifted my spirits... And I have safely ruined it all, betrayed her - betrayed - that's the word - her trust and kindness, in the Luna's style, pursuing revenge. I also fucked up with the revenge... Maybe it's a fortunate turn of events... Only Abyss knows now. But in any case, Celestia's friendship and trust to me is over. And the ring of magic blocking on my horn is the brightest proof of that. The fact that I am not in a cage, but in the familiar guest quarters is just a tribute to my moderately-fucked physical condition. I sighed gloomily, shutting eyes for a few seconds, feeling the growing anger at myself, that borders with disgust. Sighed again, trying to calm down. Looked at the clock. Almost 8 in the evening... It's been three hours since my awakening, yeah? And since then I've been wondering in thoughts... Yeah... If you want at least some thoughts to appear in this empty stupid head you have to be unconscious for more than half a day, I guess... My thigh was dull and nasty, my leg, part of my side, and my croup felt like it was through a thick layer of absorbent cotton and it was nasty cold, but I guess the poison of that damn mutant wasn't enough for an alicorn after all. However, I still passed out in the end, and if I had passed out in the woods, this fucker could have cooked me without someone bothering him. Good thing I got out in time. “Good”, yeah... As for my head... For the first time in, like, a week, I felt a little rested, and I don't know why. Otherwise, my head wasn't bringing me joy: it ached, buzzed and slightly dizzy, "pleasing" with occasional bouts of nausea and a nasty iron taste on the tongue. On top of that, I don't have a helmet to wear on it anymore, and it wasn't much use for anything else... I grinned wistfully. That's how it happened... Regular nightmares, horrible memories, plus some suspicions, that seemed quite reasonable at the time - and that’s it. Yes, I didn't know everything, and I drew conclusions from scrappy and often subjective information, but... Why the hell would I, for example, go psycho on Rarity like that over nothing? I started the quarrel myself and went full rage, barely holding myself from killing her under emotions, what was her name?.. Gilda. Of course I could kick her - she wasn't allowed to swing with her paws - but damn it... If Fluttershy hadn't stopped me, I'm not sure I wouldn't have done something irreparable. And then Pinkie popped in and finished me with a spit in the soul, fucking!.. I hit the window sill with my hoof in anger, leaving a network of cracks in the varnish, that covered it. Leg started to whine with pain. A-a, damn it... That’s all. From there on, there were no brakes left at all, judging by the fact, that I was seriously thinking about going and either killing Luna or getting killed against Luna. “Thinking”, heh... Was thinking and, most importantly, went to it! And came to an unbelievable, fairy-tale like success, fucking shit! I was so close to being as my beloved Luna. And now, maybe I’m even better than her - I just haven't understood it yet in my unique manner, because it reaches me like a giraffe... “Well done.” I summed up bitterly under my breath, sitting down onto a carpet. Thought recently, that “there’s nothing left to lose”, yeah? Now it’s really nothing left. And no one. Sighing heavily again, I put my muzzle onto the broken window sill and stared blankly into the distance. It was never so bad and lonely in my soul. ... The door slammed softly behind me, making me flinch. I didn't even hear anyone come in, damn... But there was no such thing as "someone” - only one pony could have come in here right now. “Hello, Princess.” Lifting my head from the window sill for a moment, I greeted her. The time outside the window stuck as if was frozen: the Sun was shining at the same place, the shadows were still at the same places... I never got used to it. And now I probably wouldn't have to anymore. The pony behind me hesitated, sighed softly, and, treading almost inaudibly on the carpet, came closer, stopping to the left behind me. The pause was growing longer. I don't know what Celestia was thinking, but I just stared blankly out the window. What am I supposed to talk to her about? About the shit I did? About the shit I did. Abyss, I never knew how to apologize. And how one can even apologize for this?.. “Sorry.” I finally broke the tense silence by forcedly gathering my thoughts and looking away from the window sill. “Sorry, that... That I haven't seen another solution.” Tia sighed again, not answering. “I...I was really thinking, that Luna is going to kill me. Well, you know, don't leave the business if it's not done and stuff.” I chuckled nervously. “And these nightmares every night... Who could have sent this high-class present if not she? You know, I... How would I put this?.. Luna betrayed you, then me... And I thought, that I’m better than her for sure, that I wouldn't do that!.. And now I’m sitting here and understand, that, in fact, looking at Luna was the same as looking in a mirror. I’m not better in any damned way. And you called me a friend for once.” I sighed, not knowing what to say. And what can you say?.. “Don't think you're the guilty, Nightmare.” Celestia finally stopped to parody a wordless monument. Exhaustion and nervousness were clear in the Princess’ voice. “I promised to help you once as well if you're in need - and I didn't keep my word. If only Twilight sent that letter a day earlier... But alas. And I had no right to not carry the ruler's duty... And that’s how it turned out.” “And what now?” I chuckled sadly. “I... It’s complicated.” Princess sighed, coming closer and lowering herself onto the carpet next to me. I looked at the alicorn with one eye. Wow... Never thought, that her closet has a set of armor. It isn't any more functional than mine... was. “What's the matter? Butcher is on a vacation?” I chuckled nervously. Tia cringed, but didn't answer. We were wordless. “I almost killed you, Nightmare.” After endless seconds, Celestia turned to me. It was only now that I saw how much she had suffered. The pink eyes seemed to have gone out, and there was nothing but endless fatigue, both physical and, I suppose, even more so, moral. Capillaries cracked, eyes were shadowy, and the helmet, that hid her brows, was made of fiery red - almost red - metal additionally made the look even more frowning and heavy. “I don't know how Cadence could see Luna in the darkness and at such a distance." Tia shook her head as she turned away before I could open my mouth. “And she doesn't know as well. She says she felt rather than saw... But if it hadn't been for her cry of "Luna! Over there!”, I would... I wouldn't have stopped myself.” Alicorn sighed, staring at the floor. A silence in the room boiled down again. I don't think something could have stopped me in the same situation... Something more, Celestia? Why are you still tinkering with me - it’s not just because Luna survived the night, is it?... “Tell me: what and why do you draw?” Princess’ voice returned me to reality. I looked at her unknowingly. “Sorry for touching your things without permission...” Suddenly, she darkened for a second. “Here. I found her... it in your bags.” The same drawing was put before me as I drew in Rarity’s house, which I didn't tear for some reason, grabbing with me reflexively - and successfully forgot about it. “It... literally reeks of despair... Creepy." Tia looked at my somewhat self-portrait for a few moments, and then looked away. “I drew a lot of things on the Moon, trying to cheer myself up.” I stated dully. Celestia made a clear twitch. “Well, by that I wouldn't go completely off the rails. It even helped for some time, until the mind began to spread like wet paper. By that time, my creativity had become such that I'm afraid to even remember it... But sometimes, if I think deeply, it breaks through on paper, like this." I nodded at the drawing. “The death of the mind...” Tia whispered, looking back at the drawing, shivering chilly, and hastened to look away. Fitting name. I should write it on the back. And the artist's name in the corner as well. “I didn't want that to happen!” Princess dropped, looking at the floor. “I promise not to send you or anyone else to the Moon again. But the Elements... If they really have a will - why they did so?..” Alicorn asked bitterly, staring out the window. “They had sent two of us there.” Cringing with disgust, I refreshed the memory. “It’s not their fault, that I was the only one who got a punishment.” “And you met my poor sister to recover this debt...” Tia murmured with a deep sadness “But she's still alive... Now... You forgave her?” “I didn't.” I spit out such a short, but such a heavy word at the same time with force. A hope just started to appear in the last Princess’ words... And I crushed it. “I... No. This is not forgivable.” I wanted to say something, that would bring this hope back to her!.. But I don't have such words. “But she’s still alive.” Celestia repeated with bitter thoughtfulness and, rising to feet, suddenly emphasized a short bow. “Thank you that in spite of everything, you found strength to spare her life. I’m... I’m very sorry, that you had to live through this, Nightmare.” Snowy alicorn sighed, shutting her eyes with exhaustion. “Found strength”, yeah? Hah... “But you must understand, that I cannot sweep this under the rug, even though my poor sister is still alive.” Princess’ voice became harsh. “Alas, but you have to pay for what you've done.” Standing up, I turned to her. Golden armor with a Sun on the breastplate, helmet, that resembles a crown, tired gaze, that tries to be harsh... Do what you think has to be done, Princess. “Lived without fear - died without fear”... Huh?... Behind Celestia, through the doorstep, suddenly for both of us, Luna stepped into the room through the already opened door. Pale, with a tangled, unkempt mane, swaying with weakness, with bags under her eyes... and a fierce flame, dancing in those eyes. In the corridor, behind the obviously angry blue one, my eyes caught a few of the thestral-sentinels, driving away both Celestia's fighters and a couple of disheveled ponies in medical gowns, seemingly trying unsuccessfully to catch up with the younger Princess and apparently telling her how she was supposed to keep her bed rest, that getting up is a bad thing and so on... “Luna?...” Turning towards the sudden noise, coming from the corridor, that was no longer separated by the door, Tia said to her sister in confusion. The blue alicorn, seemingly unresponsive, silently stepped into the room and slammed the door, cutting off the angry voices of the guardsmen and the nervous ones of the doctors, and, with an angry glare, opened her mouth... only to find herself in the legs of Celestia, who rushed to her. “I was so worried.” She gasped faintly. “How are you, dear? Is everything fine?..” I looked away for a few seconds, feeling completely out of place, when I suddenly realized that the Princess's voice was trembling with barely held back tears. Damn. The blue one, judging by the doctors, just became conscious... Tia, until this moment, maybe didn't know what’s going on with her! “No, it's not!” Luna suddenly scowled, almost violently wriggling out of her sister's embrace. “Because the first thing I heard barely opening the door was “you have to pay”!” “L-luna?..” The older Princess looked helplessly at her angry sister, who has broken away and retreated a few steps. “Have you read my messages, sister?” She stared at Tia demandingly, pressing her bandaged leg against painfully. “Answer Us!” The confused and clearly incomprehensible older Alicorn nodded uncertainly. “We must understand this as the fact, that you have read them, but didn't think it necessary to heed Our words?” I think Luna became even more annoyed. Damn, what the hell is going on with her?.. “Luna, what?..” The Princess of the Sun, completely confused, tried to object. “We asked you to accept any Nightmare Moon's choice!!!” The younger alicorn barked. “And not to hold her responsible for it! Or Our words are hollow for you, Your Highness?” Tia twitches as if she was slapped in the face. Yeah, she clearly strays away from the Queen title. I think, that the sunny horse’s past wasn't sunny at all. “No, they are not.” She answered, closing eyes for a moment. “But...” “Yes, they are not?” Turning away from sister sharply, Luna came closer to me. “Then what is this?!” She turned to straightened up Celestia, pointing at the ring on my horn with her wing at the same time. Rage went loose in the younger Princess’ voice. This is a jewel. The “Fuck that” order with a twist on the back. “Luna, she was looking for your death! And I...” “And had every right to do so!!!” Princess of the Night cut her off. The blocker clicked, enveloped in the blue magic of Luna, and the opened ring fell onto the carpet, where the younger alicorn's hoof immediately collapsed onto it, turning the artifact into a pair of individual shattered pieces with a short, subtle snap. This is how it goes, huh?.. “She had not.” I shivered. Celestia said it without raising her tone, but it was like a wave of heat. I suddenly wanted to be somewhere far away from here... “Luna, I thought I've lost you! Couldn't save my only pony that I loved! I... No! No one dares to take you away from me!” The last one sounded like a clear threat. With a clear address. Damn, and why I’m still alive?.. “Y-you...” Her voice trembled treacherously. “You know why I did it. I won't... try again." I nervously swallowed a "maybe", that almost flew out of my mouth. “What’s the point... And... I've realized something, too, you know.” “I don't know, but I hope.” Celestia nodded gloomily. “And I’m really sorry, that such a scary challenge befell you, but...” “Befell”!” Interrupting sister, Luna mimicked her nastily. “Tia, I became the executioner and the incubus for my... For Nightmare Moon! And she had every right to avenge if she wanted so! And it is not for you to decide what We must do to remove Our infinite guilt!” Yeah, I’ll of course trust you, that you care about me, the blue one. If Tia hadn't kicked you in the leg for neglecting you, like in the "bad old days," you wouldn't have even cared, would you? “Luna!..” “Nightmare Moon!” Luna declared, demonstratively not paying attention to her sister. “In the name of Ours, the reigning Princess, the Diarch of the State of Equestria, We, Luna of Equestria, absolve you of all current charges and declare you without sin before Us! So be it!” One couldn't name the silence in the air after Luna's word other than deafening. “It... was a hasty and impulsive decision, sister." With clear frustration in her voice, Tia said flatly, gathering her thoughts. “And as much as I myself wish Nightmare well, leaving such deeds unpunished will only increase their likelihood in the future.” Luna, scowling at sister, was silenced. “Nightmare." Tia turned to me now, trying to look at me impartially. "It's hard for me to judge you for your decision, especially since I may have been partly responsible for it. “But...” She pondered the wording. “But you can't trust me anymore.” I hinted, nodding thoughtfully. “What's next?” Can't anymore... My own words jabbed my heart painfully. Damn it... When did she start to mean something to me? How?.. “I could teach you to dream walk... Try to..” Luna said shyly. “No!” Celestia cut her off sharply, but immediately tried to soften, earning a wrathful gaze from sister: “I mean I’m not against teaching, but... I worry about you, Lu. What if Nightmare would not able to hold her fury and soreness?” Yeah, that's easy... Blue's actions and words certainly deserve some respect, but it's certainly not something that's going to make me forget that Moon hell! “Tia...” Nodding, she said. “You don't understand! Even I don't understand the extent of my guilt before her!” The junior Princess looked towards me for a second. “It is my duty to help her now. My duty to the one I abandoned, when she needed me most!” You was needed then, the blue one. Then, not now. Luna went wordless, clearly overcoming tears. Tia, giving me a gloomy stare, drooped her head thoughtfully. “Sorry, Lu.” She lifted her eyes after a dozen of long seconds. “But I can't do that.” “We can decide for Ourselves what we should do!” Luna insisted immediately. “Of course.” Celestia leaned her head with a sigh for a moment. “But I beg you, listen to me, please. Don't make my heart clench in fear for your life every day, every moment! I’m so worried about you...” Luna froze, biting her lip and shifting her helpless gaze between me and Tia. She pulled her ears back against her head as if in fright, and panic seemed to flicker in her eyes... Come on, decide who you'd rather offend and disappoint?.. I leaned head to hide a reflexively coming bad smirk on my face. “Lu... Sorry for forcing you to choose.” The senior Princess drooped repentantly, noticing sister's nervousness. “I think we all have to take a pause and calm down. It's not an immediate question.” Coming to Luna, Celestia hugged her with a wing. “Let’s get back to it later, okay?” The blue one, hesitating, nodded reluctantly. “How do you feel?” The senior alicorn asked worriedly, breaking the embrace. “You look sickly and, besides, if I understand correctly, you just woke up and came here right away... Maybe you should go back and...” “Everything is fine.” Luna cringed. “Please, do not neglect your health in the future!” “Don't try to send me away and slip out of the conversation!” The junior alicorn looked at her sister gloomily. “I’m really worried about you! Please, do not refuse me at least in this small thing. I heard your words and promise not to punish Nightmare Moon too severely.” “What are you going to do?” Luna didn't move an inch. Tia, sighing deeply, looked at me. “I think you have some undone affairs in Ponyville? Besides, I’m looking forward to you apologizing to this griffon, to Gilda. I was very disappointed what I’ve learn from Twilight's letter.” Tia nodded with her head, scowling. Yeah, I have to, actually... She really earned a bust up, but I clearly went too far... “Because of this, I can't finance you in the previous volume.” The Princess of the Sun continued. “I guess it's fair for you to pay her health care.” I think so... But it’s not a big deal, though: more than half from the previous “transaction” is still with me, so I won't be in a bad situation anyway. In the end, who will refuse in food and accommodation to such a beautiful alicorn like me, right? I hid my smirk by leaning the head. “I cannot give your weapon and armor back as well...” “I can.” Luna resembled about herself. “And I’ll do it if you want to confiscate them!” Make your bets: will they fight or not?.. “Luna?...” Tia looked at her sister with a blank stare, but quickly recovered: “I beg you, sister: don't let your feeling of fault push you to dangerous and short-sighted deeds!” “I can hardly be less dangerous to ordinary ponies - just as I'd be hardly more dangerous to you if I got my weapon back..." I decided to intervene in the argument, turning to Celestia. “But it’s your choice. Leave it by your side, if it matters to you.” I have to do something about the habit of carrying armor all the time anyway. It's not that bad, it's just not mine. And... Tia got a point. If I were her, I'd just tear myself apart... Miserable idiot... “Hm?...” The snow-white alicorn tried to rise her eyebrows, clearly not expecting me to suddenly take her side, the side of the accusation, in fact. “I... Thank you for your understanding, Nightmare.” Luna looked at me and her sister in silence, and took a step back. “Well deserved..." I grimaced. “So, what was the bottom line?” “There’s my mistake as well." The Princess of the Sun sighed. “I should have spent more time with both of you instead of leaving you alone with your heartaches. I assumed that a simple friendly atmosphere would be enough, but unfortunately I underestimated, didn't realize how bad it was. I’ll try to not allow this in the future So, Nightmare, I'd like you to stay here in Canterlot, but..." Celestia hesitated for a moment. "I need time to think about what happened and recover a little.” “Fine.” I moved with my wing indefinably. “When is my flight to Ponyville?” “Tomorrow. I’ll write you shortly after when... When I’m ready to our new meeting. And you will apologize most sincerely to poor Gilda and finish your other business, if there is anything left unfinished.” I nodded wordlessly. “The servants will bring food and medicine: your body needs help to kill the poison. And now, I must go: it is time for the night to begin. Let's go, sister." Tia touched the blue one with her wing and let her go ahead and follow her out the door. Without saying goodbye. “Bye, Princess." I said with a sigh through the closed door, and picked up the wreckage of the magical limiter with my telekinesis and stared at it thoughtlessly. Well, I’m alive, oddly enough. Now it's time to understand for what?.. 36. Ponies Can Be DifferentI was habitually creating a dead zone around myself, which the passersby were hurriedly circling, and I looked wistfully at “Carousel” a little ahead of me. The conflict with Celestia at least had a real basis in fact. I was beginning to realize a little now, that the world was more complicated, but a few days ago I'd been plagued by insomnia, nightmares, and paranoia, and it was simpler and easier to understand everything. So what was I supposed to do? So I did what I could, damn it. But I yelled at Rarity for nothing, in fact. I hate being blamed for nothing, and I did it myself... Damn it. As if that weren't enough, there were some lovers of not being asleep at the night, and the whole town knew, that Princess Celestia and her guards had been at “Golden Oak”, where some Nightmare Moon dwells, the night before the last one, and had not seen Nightmare for more than a day... Finally, the cursed monster has been arrested - that will teach it how to hold a brutal slaughter in the middle of the town with scores of victims! Pfft... In short, the word of mouth made of me a criminal - what a nice thing to do. Stupid horses! Now they're all looking askew at me in a wistful, surprised way: “Didn't she get smoked? Damn i-it...” Rar would kick me out after everything I'd said to her, and with that background... I did manage to get some ice cream for her, though - I came just in time for the opening. The owner of the sweets store, that was a bit late for her job, just opened the door to meet the first customers - and there I was on the porch. She wasn't fast enough to slam the door shut, so she had to trade with whoever was willing to, he-he-he... Yeah. I hope Rarity will listen to me and won't just smack my head with this ice cream, sending me to Hell... Okay, fine. How much longer can we go round in circles? The ice cream would melt! I put my foot up to take a step and put it back down. A-a, damn it!.. You can't make up for lost time... That's enough udder mashing, man! Won't be sent farther than the front lays, the bullet is only at the commander's base! Let’s go! Sighing, I moved towards the store's entrance. The bells rang. “...Bits. You can fit it on next Tuesday!” “Thank you, Rarity!” “You're always welcome, dear! Co...me... Again... Nightmare?!” The fashion designer stared at me in a daze. “Well, hello.” I squeezed out, feeling like an idiot. “I g-guess I g-go ...” With her ears flattened and, I think, she even shut her eyes from fear, the attendant of the studio tried to sneak past me. I stepped aside to give her way. The bell rang again, and an uncomfortable silence hung in the store. “Nightmare?..” The unicorn hesitatingly panted at last, took a few steps back, and suddenly, with her ears flattened, said: “Nightmare, I’m sorry!” Ehm, what?.. Or it’s just a prelude to “But I don't want to see you again”?.. “Maybe you were wrong and overly rude, but I shouldn't have pressured you at such a moment! You came, looking for comfort and understanding, and I..." She sighed and drooped. “Actually, I’m the one who came to apologize, I think.” I chuckled a bit nervously. “Well... I’m sorry, that I said... that. It was so bad in the soul... Sorry. You know, I was walking and thought, that you're going to throw me off the porch now." “That’s ridiculous!” The unicorn looked up and smiled shyly. “In that case, I'd have to throw myself, too. Oh, if I hadn't been so stubborn!.. And Twilight wouldn't have had to wake me up in the middle of the night with the news, that Nightmare Moon was trying to kill Princess Luna." Rar drooped again at the end. “Because if I had been a real friend for you - you wouldn't have done this, right?..” Maybe. Then I wouldn't have been searching for Pinkie, missed Gilda's visit... This ifs and ands, damn it. What's the use of guessing now? “You were a friend. You was listening to me, helping all the time... And I have never helped you with anything in return." I looked away, awkwardly moving a wing. “Nonsense." The unicorn suddenly took a step forward, got on her hind legs and embraced me, scenting me with the delicate scent of perfume and shampoo. “Friendship is not about who owes what to whom, Nightmare. I want to help, I can help - and I will. That’s friendship. And also... You brought me ice cream, dear." The mare suddenly giggled, glancing down at the bucket I have brought as a gift. “You know, on the way to Ponyville, I didn't think I had anyone else here after... everything," A smile appeared by itself on my face, but there was a lump in my throat. “I'm already barely tolerated, most of the time... Thanks for... for just listening, no matter what. And sorry again. We’re fine?” Rarity didn't say a word. Just embraced me tighter. ... “...And went to Kill Luna. What other options did I have? It's now, that I have come to my senses and I’m trying to think, but back then... I just lived with the thought, the feeling, that if I just did this, everything would get better! The memories she was guilty of would be dulled, the nightmares would disappear, the constant feeling of threat would disappear, the... fear would disappear." “But why didn't you... Well..." Rarity hesitated, listening to my story, forgetting about the ice cream, which was slowly turning into a milkshake. “She didn't fight me. She didn't even take a weapon. She just came, put her neck and said: “Sorry! You can do whatever you please”. It's a far cry from the image I described, isn't it?..” I chuckled sadly, looking at the empty tea bowl. “You were right, when you said, that I didn't see what was there, but what I wanted to see. I believed she deserved to be punished, she was standing in front of me, she was in my power, and I... I never found the strength to just hit her. I don't know why. Maybe it was because I had seen absolutely a different pony, than I'd imagined, or maybe I just didn't have the courage to do this... I don't know. And then, when I was walking back, I, probably, wondered for the first time: what's next? You know, right? I did not even think about it! I didn't think about it at all! I kill her - and then it just depends. And if I don't - I'll die, and it won't make any difference!" I got up, walked back and forth and stopped at the window. “And now there was time and reason to think To think, and suddenly realize, that the heartless beast I saw before me was not Luna, but the reflection in the mirror. Celestia believed in me, and I went to kill her sister without even trying to find other options..." I closed my eyes and pressed an eyebrow against the cool glass. “But why did she let me live?..” “Because you're not evil, Nightmare.” She pressed trustingly against my side. “You... You were lost, and you made a mistake-and Her Highness saw it.” “Not every mistake can be forgiven." I cringed and leaned my other eyebrow against the glass carefully to avoid hitting it with my horn. “Celestia didn't even say goodbye to me this time. And she... She really was my friend, and I... And I, as it turned out, let her down. Here we are. “Don't worry. I’m sure everything will be alright between you.” Rarity promised - thought without much of enthusiasm. “I hope so.” I moved away from the glass, sighing. “Thanks for listening to all of this.” “And I’ll be, dear.” The unicorn assured me seriously. “Just don't be silent yourself. Don't let the dark thoughts get a grip on you. Okay?” “Yeah, I think so.” I chuckled. “If you say so, doctor.” “I will tell you, that I prescribe you a beautiful dress, a hat and a trip to the spa! To combat depression!” Rarity glared menacingly, but after a few moments of appreciating the look on my face, she poked me in the shoulder with her hoof and laughed, making me smile weakly afterward. ... Go-o-od... I closed my eyes leisurely and listened halfheartedly to Rarity's voice, excitedly recounting the latest Ponyville news, and resting my soul. And I got the thing out of my chest - it became a little bit easier... It wasn't the first time, but it still feels like a revelation. “Holy crap, it helped! Who could have guessed!” I smiled. It's kind of cozy... Of course, it's fun to be feared by everyone, but you can't feel that warmth in such surroundings. And no one will close the store for you in the middle of the day - because of you, maybe... “Thanks, Rarity.” “For what?” The unicorn stopped mid-word. “For everything. Just... Just for everything. If I can do something for you - just say it, alright?” “It’s nothing, dear. It’s not hard for me...” “Not hard to even close the store, dismissing the customers and losing money?” I arced my brow in doubt, opening eyes. “Oh, it's really a nothing.” Rar waved away carelessly. “Especially for a friend.” "Friend", yep... I'm like that Soviet vacuum cleaner to her: "Big, loud noise, one drawback: it doesn't collect dust", and I’m a "friend...” The bell rang, interrupting my unformed objections and making Rarity sigh unhappily. “Sorry, Nightmare. I'll go see who's there?” “Of course.” I nodded after a moment, realizing, that the unicorn wasn't going anywhere, waiting for my reaction, and stared at the mare as she moved towards the exit in a loss. It’s... Strange... Half a minute of muffled conversation behind the wall, and there on the kitchen doorstep was... Pinkie?! As usual, pink, with an unusually straight mane, a sheaf of blue, azure, purple, and silver balloons on her right front leg, and a box of what appeared to be cake on her back. What is she?.. “Nightmare, I’m so sorry-sorry-sorry-sorry!!!” The pink rocket bumped into me - I wasn’t even that fast to open my mouth. The world turned upside down, the floor knocked the air out of my lungs, and my ribs crunched miserably in an unexpectedly powerful embrace. “A-a... Ph! Pink-h-ie! Pah!” Choking for a moment, I tried to spit from the long, smooth hair in my mouth. “Sorry!!! I!... I!...” The embrace loosened, and the fur on the back of my neck began to get wet. “I t-old you so-o mu... Mu-uch! I!... I didn't kno-ow! I didn't wa-ant!!!” I finally remembered about the horn, and used telekinesis to get rid of the mane on my face. My head was empty of thoughts - a rumbling emptiness and a pang inside, a lump in my throat... As the stream of inconsolable tears and incoherent apologies turned into sobs, Rarity, who has been standing tactfully on the sidelines, approached us. “Pinkie came to me that day and told me what happened at the market." She said quietly, looking at the two of us sympathetically. “I understood why it happened." The unicorn sighed, frowning, her eyes casted at the floor. "But Pinkie was so angry... I was so emotional, I told her all about our fight and you... The poor mare was restless all this time, especially when you refused to listen to her...” Yeah, Twilight came to me the day before the memorial parcel and said something about Pinkie - I sent her straight to hell, Pinkie as well, and everyone else. I didn't want to see or hear from anyone - I was so fucked up... “And when Her Highness Princess Celestia and Her Grace Princess Mi Amore Cadenza took you to Canterlot... You can't imagine how bad she felt, Nightmare. She almost rushed over there to help you out - we had to stop her... Please, forgive her! Pinkie really didn't mean to hurt you so cruelly!” I sighed and swallowed the lump in my throat with an effort, while at the same time catching myself, mechanically stroking the pink back of the pony sprawled across me, still sobbing on my chest. Damn it... I... A-a, heck with it... “Do you know how much it hurt to hear that from the pony, who first came to me and supported me?” I said quietly, causing a convulsive sob. “But... But the Abyss will swallow me up if I... It's all right, Pinkie. It’s all right...” I was touched by the pink pony's sincere and somewhat desperate remorse. “R-really?..” She lifted her head and stared at me with her tear-filled, big blue eyes. “Really.” I let out a smile, feeling my eyes burn. A-a, damn... The only thing I need is to cry as well... “Thanks!” My ribs crunched again in a no-holds-barred hug. “I’ll never ever say something like that! And will never think of that! Cross my heart and hope to fly - stick a cupcake in my eye!” She waved tears from her eyelashes, made some kind of gesture, and, rubbing her face trustingly against my neck, rolled to the floor, giving me my freedom. Damn, I was just now noticing, that the box of cake was on the table, and the balloons were floating around, tied to her leg with a neat bow. How and when?!.. And by the way: why hasn't our party-pony's mane changed?.. “Hey, Pinkie... Your mane?..” I tried to articulate. “I, it's... I made it for you." she seemed a little embarrassed. “Remember, you suggested it? I thought you might like it.” Ehm... When did you do it? “She was at the spa before she tried it the first time." Rarity answered the unspoken question. “Said she would go to there until you forgave her.” “Ph-a! Like it’s a torture or something.” I grumbled. “It looks great!” “Really?” She doubted. “I’m happy you liked it! I just used to go to the Stone Farm like that... No, it was great, don't get me wrong! It was just so-o bo-o-oring.” “It really suits you, Pink. Doesn't it, Rarity?” “It's a bit unusual." The unicorn stated. “But with the right outfit, it would be stunning!” “I think it's already great without the outfit. Oh, and by the way, there's the cake, right?” I decided to move off the dangerous topic of dresses and outfits before it started. “Yep!” The earthpony smiled shyly. “My left ear itched this morning, then my tail twitched and my eyes stung - a sure sign, that I should apologize! “Before Nightmare!” I thought, so I baked it. And I found the balloons, do you like them? I thought you'd either go to Twilight's or Rarity's, and then I thought you probably wouldn't need Twilight's, so I went to Rarity's, and there you were!” “I recognize Pinkie Pie.” I thought and couldn't hold a smile. “I’ll put on the kettle.” Rarity nodded. “Take a seat!” I got myself back on my feet, walked over to the table, and opened the box. Under the lid was a cake, made of black-purple-turquoise array, with the only pink detail - the sad face of Pinkie herself - and the inscription "Forgive me, Nightmare." which was made of something I didn't even know: the letters sparkled like stars in the sky... And it smelled like... blackberries. Where the hell did she take it from?.. Ah, Pinkie... My eyes were tingling again. A thought came to me, that Luna must had been begging for forgiveness at the castle, just as desperate and sincere in her own way. I shook my head angrily, banishing the irrelevant thought. Fuck it! That's exactly who I don't care about anymore! About Pinkie... I walked over to the anxious pink pony and silently embraced her with a wing. And she nestled trustingly against my side. ... I walked down the middle of the street and couldn't get rid of the smile on my face. I didn't want to - it was almost a festive mood, and the fact, that I was going to apologize again couldn't shake it. Passersby didn't share my joy, but that only made my smile wider: shake if you want, cowards - I don't care, to put it mildly, because there are other ponies in Equestria, who don't see me as just a scarecrow, and I have great relationships with these ponies! Yea-ah... And what a hell of a cake Pinkie did!... No, man, her lack of a horn doesn't prevent her from reading minds, that's for sure! Of course, I've tasted her sweet treats before, but it was like she made this cake specially for me!.. Ahem, yeah... Not over-sweetened, made of slightly crunchy, crumbly crusts... With blackberry jam.! Da-amn!.. I think Pinkie and Rar got only one piece of that!.. Maybe two... We talked about this and that, of course... Together at first, until when Rarity, with a thousand exquisite apologies, went to work, leaving Pinkie and me alone. She apologized again, and then I told her what had happened... which almost made Pinkie hysterical: she was so wound up that it was her fault that I did it... Oh, silly little pink horse... While I calmed her down - I shed a tear myself... But it's okay: we had some cake - what was left of it by then - with tea - a sweet cake and four teaspoons of sugar! Pinkie, holy cow!... Well, we recovered. Pinks told me what had happened in Ponyville from her point of view, remembered some funny stories... When and how the conversation turned again to the events of the day and to Gilda, I honestly didn't understand. And Pinkie, hugging me and obviously picking up words, carefully tried to make the point, that she understood everything, but it was too much. I don't know what she would have made of it had she not, in fact, quoted my own thoughts on the subject... Surprised her, it seems - and, I think, pleased her quite a bit. Generally, I left “Carousel” at that point, leaving slowed Pinkie to discuss some outfits with Rar and heading towards the hospital. I feel it in my gut - Pinkie wanted to say something about Luna, but... “M-miss N-Nightmare!” I was suddenly called out in an uncertain voice by some stallion. Why would one be eager to talk with me?.. It’s even interesting... I turned to the voice: a short elderly stallion of light brown color, dressed in a bowler hat and with square intellectual glasses on his face, from behind the glasses of which the bright yellow eyes looked at me with carefully suppressed fear. “Greetings.” I nodded shortly. “I’m listening.” “Good Remedy, pharmacist, miss... Ehm... Missus...” He hesitated. “Don't “miss.” I cringed for a moment. “Just “Nightmare” or “Nightmare Moon”.” Or whatever you like, but without “miss”!” “F-fine, lady Nightmare!” He smiled nervously. “Lady”. Still found the way to remember, yeah? Well, at least it doesn't sound that bad... Fine. “I’m listening.” I repeated. “Can I ask you: haven't you found two packs of s-some medicine the ot-ther day?” The pony voiced his purpose of the visit nervously. “You can, why not?..” I mused for a few seconds. I wondered, too, where Scoot got the pills from... And there were two packs... That seems to be the answer. I only wonder what he's trying to check? “Sedatives, I don't remember their names... Two boxes of two blisters of six pills, four days ago. Or five?.. Are you about them?” “Phe-ew.” The pharmacist clearly relaxed. “So you didn't lie...” “Can you tell me the details?” I squinted. “Of course! But can you tell me something else... Is Scootaloo really your... friend?” Well, not really a friend, I guess... Just trying to help each other out sometimes... “Yes.” “It’s, of course... It’s just a little bit hard to believe.” The stallion smiled nervously, but checked himself immediately: “Don't get me wrong, I’m just...” “Details.” “Ah, yes... Sorry...” The earthpony adjusted his hat and glasses, took a few breaths, gathering his thoughts... “She robbed me." The interlocutor said when I just opened my mouth to hurry him up. “Ehm... What?.. How?!” Holy shit... I expected all sorts of things - but certainly not this... “First she came and begged me, saying she really needed it, and she'd give me the money later. Of course, I know her father and she's not exactly a filly, but... I can't put that kind of medicine in a kid's hooves, you know? It’s dangerous! Besides, Snap Shutter always bought it himself. And you know how fillies love to try all kinds of colorful sweet pills! And this is no joke at all!..” Nothing's new in the world, yep... And Snap Shutter... Isn't he Scoot's dad? Or are they different ponies? I can't remember, man. If so, what's the story with him, I wonder? “You, of course, turned her down." I interrupted the pharmacist, who has gone to the third round. “What happened next?” “A? A, next... Then she wandered around the pharmacy for a while and left, to come in the evening, just before closing. I was distracted by a customer and did not even have time to understand how and when this little robber managed to be behind the counter and flipped in a bag from the shelf a few boxes, including those two! I rushed to catch her, but it was no use." The pony waved it away hopelessly. “She slipped under the counter like a cat and almost knocked my unfortunate customer off her feet and disappeared behind the door. And it's evening, it's getting late, I have to close - will I go after her?” Scoot, scoot... I don't have words to describe it. I do not know whether to admire or to worry? “And the next morning she came herself. She gave me everything she had raked from the shelf... Except for these sedatives, damn them. To my shame, I couldn't help it, I yelled at her... But she insisted: "I'll pay later! And the pills - it's not for me, it's for my friend, the Mare in the Moon! She really, really needs it!” I couldn't believe it, sat there like on pins and needles, yesterday I thought about going to the guards... But I didn't. But today, to my surprise, I saw you, so I decided to ask you directly." Good ended his story with a sigh. What a story. “And I guess, that you already knew her?” I asked semi-affirmatively. “A bit. I knew her father, Snap Shutter, quite well at one time...” Uh-huh, it was his name after all. Is he addicted if he bought them “himself”?.. “...But we don't talk much now..." The pharmacist sighed, pulling off his hat and studying it with a gaze, full of wistful thoughtfulness. “Snap hasn't been around too much since then... But... I'm sorry, but I probably shouldn't talk about it." He shook his head and put his hat back on with a decisive movement. “If you're really friends with Scootaloo, she'll tell you herself... if she wants to.” Damn, that’s tough luck. And I don't want to pressure him either... He's got a right to do that. The only question is, I'm not sure if I want to ask Scoot about it. The story there, from the hints I've heard, isn't the most positive... “In any case, thank you for reassuring me, at least in part." The pony smiled uncertainly as he tried to look me in the eyes, but then looked away. “And sending a kid...” “If I only knew what she was up to...” I sniffed. “She just said she knew a 'reliable thing' and was willing to get it, kiddo... She got it, yea... How much do I owe you, by the way?” “T-twelve for a pack.” Good named the price, hesitating. I silently pulled out the wallet with my telekinesis and counted out twenty four roundels, handing them to my companion in a compact pile. He put his hoof into the pile and literally magnetized it all at once. Strong... “Here's more, for troubling you." I poured five coins on top of it. “Thank you." The pharmacist emphasized a short bow, pouring the money into one of his bags, slung over his back. “Also, if you'll excuse me... You shouldn't use this medicine as a 'reliable thing' for more than a week. Three days are already a bad thing... You're an alicorn, but keep yourself healthy!” I raised a brow in a slight surprise. “You're not the only one who... "gets" this drug without a prescription for such a purpose." The earthpony said sadly in a low voice. “Fortunately, not many have to ruin their health just to get some sleep. I hope you can get over the cause of your nightmares, too, so they stop bothering you. Well... thank you for your time, good-bye!” Good Remedy lifted his hat as he said goodbye and, receiving a nod in return, went on his way. “get over the cause of your nightmares”, you say? But how, I'd like to know, do you deal with it, if it is your own memory? ... It was not for nothing that after talking to the pharmacist I decided, in the hope of crossing paths with Scootaloo, to take a detour past the school - I thought to myself as I listened to the interesting dialog in high tones, gradually approaching its source: a group of fillies, who seemed to have only just finished their lessons. “...Not true! She is not like that!” The orange pegasus' familiar voice rang out like a string about to burst. “You forgot the word "was”, blank flank!” The mockery in the manners of her voice made those around her laugh offensively. “She is not “was”! She’ll come back, you’ll see!..” “Of course she’ll be back... After another a thousand years!” I rolled my jaw, when I heard the new outburst of amusement. You haven't heard the news in your classes, have you been self-affirming? Maybe I should teach Scoot how to fight, so that any such attack would end up in the hospital?.. Except, what's the point of beating them, if you remember the canon... It's the parents, that need beating, not them... “That’s n-not t-true! She!.. She!..” “She is a criminal, ha-ha-ha-ha! And you will be as well! Oh, I think you've got a cutie mark! A bandit's mask!” Shit man, I'd like to fucking kill her. When I could finally see it, the composition I saw was Scootaloo, who was ready to cry, drooped Apple Bloom behind her, Tiara and Spoon, circling around like sharks, and several other students in a semicircle with their backs to me, who were more like mere observers. Sweetie Belle was hesitating a little further away. She's noticed me first, but they didn't pay attention to her thin voice, and realized something was wrong only when my shadow loomed over the group. “Fear as the devil fears the holy water.” I chuckled wryly as I glanced at the foals, which have vanished faster than their own frightened cries. Not everyone: those. who were supposedly "for Scootaloo” - Sweetie and Apple Bloom - remained, only running a little farther away and now watching with mild apprehension as events unfolded. Silver Spoon has also stayed, with no choice but to hang in a cloud of my magic and, having jerked ineffectively at first, now try to shrink into a point out of fear. “Nightmare!!!” Scoot threw herself at me like a lightning bolt, hugging me trustingly where she reached - by my right front leg - and immediately bouncing back, rapidly changing color to red. I couldn't hold it and smiled. “Hello, Scootaloo.” “Hello to you...” She held out her hoof in embarrassment to greet me. "I was... I didn't have time to slow down a bit..." The little one mumbled unconvincingly, averting her gaze. “Mm-hm.” I clapped her hoof with mine, while trying to show her with a nod, that I believed her, but my lips only parted in an even broader smile. Eh, Scoot... Reacted to me with such a reaction... “I really just miscalculated a little!..” The little pegasus looked around with her ears pressed down in a hunted way. Yeah, there were plenty of witnesses to the "indelible shame" around us: besides Bloom and Sweetie, there were a few other students, who had the courage and curiosity to come back and see what was out there. And, most importantly, Silver Spoon was still hovering nearby, even if she was still shrunken and frightened. “You've already miscalculated once," I let my arrogance to creep into my voice. “And you haven't paid me back since, mortal. Try not to let that happen again, or I'll be disappointed.” Scoot was visibly taken aback by this change of tone, but, following my eloquent gaze towards the captured gray earthpony, grinned evilly for a moment. “Oh, forgive my haste, empress of the night and mistress of the stars!” Scootaloo imitated a bow. “I was just, uh... glad you're back!” “You weren't glad enough! The rapturous embrace should last longer!” I couldn't help myself, and I teased her in the same arrogant tone. The pony, choking on such an accusation, threw an indignant look at me, forcing me to make a Herculean effort to keep from bursting into laughter. “But enough of that." I waved away as mannishly as I could and fixed my close estimative gaze on Spoon, bringing her closer. The earthpony, who has calmed down a little by this time and has opened her eyes, met my stare point-blank and squeaked: “Mommy!.. Help!..” And shut her eyes again. “Is this her, I guess?” I twisted the gray mare in front of my nose in an ostensibly appraising manner. Telekinesis is so good now, ay... “Yes, Your Highness.” My accomplice nodded as importantly as possible in response, even fluttering her wings and feathers. “I hope you hi...dou... I hope she fits?” “Some spoon on the croup... Is it because she eats a lot?..” A few insecure muffled chuckles floated around. “Likes to make fun of other ponies... Does she learn well?” I glanced questioningly at Scootaloo. “Straight-A student.” She reported with dislike. “So, she learns well. I guess she doesn't have any friends?..” “Diamond Tiara is! Well, kinda pink!” “The one who ran ahead of everyone else, leaving the gray one to us?” I chuckled. “And didn't even come back to see what became of her?..” I don't care who ran away and who didn't... But the result is here, and the solution will be slightly adapt right now. “Tiara and not behaving herself disgustingly?” Scoot chuckled. “But she's not better than Tiara for sure... So, does she fit?” “I think so-o-o...” I shook my head with the deepest doubt. “Well, barely, unless there's someone more appropriate.” “We-ell." prolonged Scootaloo disappointedly, glancing up at the shivering, frightened Silver Spoon, who has landed neatly on the grass. “You still have time. You’ll find.” I cut it off. “And now - let’s go. I wish to hear from you the latest news.” ... “I'm sorry for being gone like that, Scoot," I took the little pegasus off my back and set her carefully on the ground as we passed the outskirts of Ponyville. I've been overloading myself today, man... I grimaced at my hind leg, which was beginning to remind me of its condition. “As if you had a choice... When I heard, that Princess and her guards had taken you away in the middle of the night..." She shuddered. “Well, I had a choice... They didn't just take me away for no reason." I said with a chuckle. “But... I didn't think it would hit you. I didn't think much at the time, to tell you the truth... I should have. I'm sorry.” “It’s okay...” “No, Scoot, it’s not “okay”. And thanks for believing in me.” I couldn't hold myself and tried to pat her head. “Hey!” The mare recoiled back, giving me an upset stare. “First you grabbed and took me away on the back like a little girl!.. And now!.. And anyway, wouldn't have I made it myself?..” “Not faster than me, kiddo.” I smiled, folding my wing. “And we have some thing to talk about. Without unwanted ears - so I decided to go somewhere far away.” “Well... Okay.” The pegasus gazed at me, judging the difference in the length of our steps, and reluctantly changed from anger to mercy. “Talking about what?” “About a lot of things... And unpleasant as well." I sighed. Of course, finding her a flight instructor who understands her problems was necessary... But convincing a Dash fan about it... “I’ll give him money back, I will!” Scoot cringed, understanding my words in her own way. “They were not for me, but!..” She hesitated for some reason. And I didn't even grab something to thank her, idiot... Sometimes I’m so dumb - it's unbelievable... “Thanks a lot, Scoot. Honestly, without you, I don't know what I would do at all. Thank you.” “No worries, it’s like I've had a choice of not doing it..” Pegasus became confused. “But was there a real reason?” I chuckled sadly. “You're in a lot of trouble because of me.” “As if you're not in a lot because of me.” Scoot chuckled. “And somehow I was the first one to come closer... Well, then, with Tiara. I thought that since we know each other a little, so... Anyway, it's good that I can do something for you, too, and not just hit you with a scooter." She smiled hesitatingly. “Fine then.” I smiled in reply. “Troubles love me. By the way, you don't owe anything to the pharmacist.” “Did you?!.. Ehm..” Biting lip, the interlocutor stared at me nervously. “Yes, I thanked him.” I nodded seriously, barely able to keep a grave look on my face. “I paid him away, even got some recommendations. How angry was he then, by the way?” “Yeah...” The pegasus sighed with an unbelievable relief. “You!.. Oh... It’s not a long way to believing Rainbow's stories...” “Stories?” I arced a brow. “By the way, what about you and her?” The painted one's stories about me, yep... I have a suspicion, that their contents are known to me beforehand... “A-a...” The kid waved away, drooping. “Nothing to talk about. She was trying to convince me, that you're a villain.” “Don't I look like that?” I chuckled. “We-ell...” Scoot hesitated. “Maybe sometimes. And still, you're, like... Like a good villain!” “How is that?” It's interesting what she'd say. “Well, like... It’s... Well, like if you had been, like?.. If you were a bad villain, like in the books, you wouldn't be helping me! And Miss Rarity probably wouldn't sit at tea with you... And you're helpful and all... You just get mad sometimes, like at Dash, and scare everyone, but you're not exactly a villain anyway. And Princess Celestia wouldn't forgive a villain-villain, I guess." Scootaloo said, stumbling and embarrassed. “And Dash?..” “Dash is telling, that you haven't changed and planning something, that you cannot be trusted, and that your help is just for a show!” Scoot narced out the painted one without doubts. “And you, it turns out, are sure it isn't true?” “Of course!” I think the filly was even a little offended. “And in general... You can feel bad, sad, well, like that time... Villains don't do that.” “Eh, Scoot..." The little pony's words touched me unexpectedly for some reason. “Villains become villains often because they feel bad and sad, but there’s no one to help them... If I hadn't met you by the lake I don't know what would have become of me now. Maybe we wouldn't have seen each other again..." I swallowed a lump in my throat. Maybe if you hadn't helped me then, I wouldn't have had enough reasons to go on living, to get that fucking blue one out, to go back somewhere... I wouldn't have had enough, that's all. “Yeah... Meaningless...” The pegasus reacted skeptically. But something was on her mind. ... “Hey, Nightmare...” Scootaloo pulled me out of my phlegmatic contemplation. “I don't think that's supposed to work.” “What?” “Well, what you said about villains. That villains are villains when they're in trouble and they don't have any friends to help them. It's just... Tiara is a villain, right? But she has a friend - Silver Spoon...” “Why do you think she is a friend? Of course, I can't say for sure, but it seems to me, that Spoon is not her friend, but an accomplice who can be used in her own interests and then dumped.” “Well, they always walk together, and they mock us together, too..." Scoot frowned intently. “How could Tiara or Spoon be unhappy? They’re rich!” “Well, as you see...” I chuckled sadly. Who's better to understand and feel it than me right now, yeah... Even if Tia had given me a private palace and half the treasury, it would not have helped me to see my family. And why the heck do I need this glitter then?.. “Nightmare, are you alright?” Scootaloo touched me with a hoof worriedly. “It’s... I think you know best with your experience... But I can see, that the poor are unhappy...” Know by yourself, don't you?.. I glanced wistfully at the wiry - even skinny - figure with disproportionately small wings, whose hollow flanks showed slightly bulging ribs. Scoot... “...You as an example... No offence! You don't have anything - and you feel bad. They have everything - they feel good. Isn't it true?” The pegasus said, earning my attention. I chuckled for a moment. She's reading my thoughts, kid... “Look at Pinkie Pie, as a counter example. She doesn't have a home - she rents a room from her employers, her salary as a baker and a saleswoman is not outstanding, and she spends almost all of it on parties. Some of the parties are paid for, of course, but many she throws at her own expense. In the end, Pinkie has practically nothing: the essentials, a couple of pieces of furniture in her rented room, and a supply of firecrackers, balloons, and other things she needs for the holidays. Now remember how often do you see her unhappy.” Scootaloo, chuckling distrustfully, frowned intently. “Yesterday. And a few days ago for sure.” “You won't anymore.” I smiled. “We... Got a little fight the other day. Maybe you heard about ominous Nightmare Moon, making a brawl at the market?..” “Yep!” Scoot nodded with enthusiasm. “You're cool!” “Not so...” I mumbled, stumbling. It’s not what you're supposed to be respected for!.. “Just don't repeat my heroic actions like that, okay? Pinkie didn't like it at all...” “We-ell...” The pegasus prolonged with distrust and slight dissatisfaction. “And what then? You’ve made peace, right?” “We have. This is why I said, that you wouldn't see her unhappy.” “What if you fight again?” “I’ll try to eliminate the risk of “again”!” It sounded a little harsh: Scoot, who was walking next to me, even took a couple of steps back reflexively. But I really did intend not to fight with my friends anymore. I wasn't even sure how or why we'd gotten along with Tia, and Rar, and Pinkie... I hadn't really thought about it all. But when I lost that contact - thought it's not always through my own fault - felt, that I cared about all of them. Tia... I didn't trust her! I didn't want to trust her, I really didn't! Maybe I was even afraid of her! And I even thought I was succeeding, until I lost her trust and, thinking about it, realized that she was to me... not a friend, but someone... ah... I don't want to... Lose anyone else like that. Damn it, when did I ever get attached and take it to heart?.. “Hey, how are you?” Companion interrupted my thought. “Sorry, just was thinking.” I shook my head. “We’ve been talking about Spoon, haven't we?” “Yep. Oh, I didn't thank you!” Scootaloo pressed her ears against the head blushingly. “Yeah, thank you for scaring them away and that they won't bother anymore! I stood up for Apple Bloom, but even so... Oh, and you said great things about the Spoon mark! Ha, that would teach her how to tease the blank flanks! Maybe I'd get something cool, and she has a spoon, from which she can't get away from! A spoon to eat all the time!..” The pegasus snickered. “If I find out you're teasing her, I'll slap your neck." I promised. “Hey! But she and Tiara!.. Well, I mean, Spoon..” She stumbled. “A-a... And why did you take just her, not Tiara?..” She mumbled under her breath, but it didn't escape from my ears. “Just think about it.” “About?.. I mean... You caught her for purpose?!” Scoot exclaimed in a dazed and disappointed way at the same time. “Why-y? Tiara is the leader!” “Because Tiara is the leader.” I smiled cheerfully. “I was interested: would she leave Spoon or not. She did. At least I didn't see her afterwards.” “Ph... It’s Tiara we’re talking about!” The pegasus sniffed disparagingly. “The champion of doing nasty things!” “Here-e.” I nodded. “And I hope Spoon notices and remembers that, too...” “And then they'll quarrel and, instead of annoying us, they'll fight each other!” Scootaloo finished excitedly, jumping up with excitement and flapping her wings like a big bee, with a quiet hum. “Nice! Oh! But... Why can't I tease Spoon?” “Because after that, she'll go looking for protection from Tiara in the first place...” And also because behaving like that is bullshit, but you wouldn't get it right now. “...and everything will go back to where it started, only Spoon won't leave Tiara at all again, afraid of a repeat of all this.” “And what, should I just leave her alone?” The mare doubted, sighing. “Nope. Not just “leave”, but protect from those, who would try to get advantage of her quarrel with Tiara, and what is even better - try to befriend her.” “What?! Her?! Why?!” Scoot stumbled on a plain spot, staring at me with her small eyes. “Getting a friend instead of a foe isn't enough for you? And Tiara, being alone, is unlikely to continue to be as arrogant.” “Hm...” She mused heavily. “What if it fails? What if Tiara doesn't quarrel with her?” “If not now - they will after some time.” I shrugged with wings. “But now you know what to do - just don't lose the momentum.” ... “Hey, Scoot!” I remembered something after a few minutes of a leisurely walk in silence. Damn it, I called her for exactly this thing and almost forgot it. “Can I ask you a not-so-pleasant question?” “Ahead.” “How are the flights going?” “Anyhow.” The darkened pegasus grumbled gloomily right off the bat. “This damn wings are only suitable for running after air!” Scootaloo looked askew at her back evilly. “Yeah...” I followed her gaze. As far as I know, at this age they should be 1.5-2 times as big... “Everyone flies already, even those who are a year younger! Or even two! But I...” She drooped with sorrow. “And Rainbow doesn't want to teach me anymore...” “What medics say?..” I specified reflexively, immediately scolding myself in thought. Damn it, I didn't want to ask that! “They don't say anything.” Against my expectations, Scootaloo just became surprised a bit. “What should they say? There’s nothing to be in pain.” “Didn't ask.” I stated half-questioningly. “I didn't. Why? And after all...” Damn it. I didn't expect, that she wouldn't even bother with it... Problem: I thought, that she and Balk would be brought together based on the similarity - if not identity - of the problems, but she doesn't even see her problems now... “I don't know... Your peers usually have bigger wings..." I answered crumpled, trying to figure out how to continue the conversation. “And?” Scoot became offended. “Rainbow said, that wings aren't the main thing! Like, the pegasus magic is more important! And by the way, I was told the same thing in the school...” “Partially...” I agreed thoughtfully. I think I know where to go from. “By the way, about Dash... How long has she been teaching you? What about the successes?” “Long ago! Successes - not much...” The mare sighed, but rose up in the same moment: “Hey! Are you talking that she is not capable of teaching?!” “As she said herself, maybe wings aren't the main issue, but it's important, you know. You can see for yourself, that you can't fly the way she teaches you...” “When I grow up - I’ll be able to.” Scootaloo grumbled. “...And also, she doesn't want to teach you anyhow.” “We will make peace!” There wasn't much confidence in the little pegasus' voice, though. “And until you make up, you're just going to keep stomping around on the ground?” I sighed. Scoot was sullenly silent. The feeling, that I treat the hopes and dreams of the poor pegasus girl like an elephant in a china shop, gnawed at my soul. But what else could I do?.. With Dash, who has never had trouble flying, she wouldn't fly - something has to be done! Why is it so disgusting then, damn it?.. “Well... Talk with Balk Biceps - do you know him? Big white pegasus with red eyes...” “Pegasus?” The kid said in a surprised tone. “Big fireplug, sometimes trades nuts at the market, yeah? He's an earthpony!” “He is not.” I chuckled. “This bulk is a pegasus. But his wings are like yours. And do you know the most interesting part? He flies quite normally with them.” “No way! Are you joking?” The mare didn't trust me. “Ask him yourself.” I chuckled. “I think he, as the owner of similar little wings, might have some advice for you about flying. He's even willing to train you, if you'd like.” “Na-ah... I’ll stay with Rainbow... She's cool and!..” “Decide for yourself - you're not a kid.” I shrugged with wings in an exaggeratedly indifferent manner. “Just keep in mind, that you haven't been flying with her - it means you're doing something wrong. But Bulk is the pony, who might know what exactly is wrong.” “Dash knows more about flying!” Scoot shook her mane. And, looking at her back, thoughtfully stared at the ground. ... “Finally, haven't taken an eternity to get here.” I grinned to myself as my hooves clattered down the steps of the hospital porch. It was as unpleasant to get up as it was to walk to the hospital. I overran too much today and opened the still unhealed “hi” from the manticore... The time has already passed well past lunchtime and was gradually approaching evening. But honestly, I would not have known about it, if I had not come across the pony with a clock, strong enough in spirit to be able to answer the question "What time is it?" on the merits. Yeah, the local Sun, hanging in one place, was really annoying at times. No, Tia sometimes moved it somewhere in the middle of the day - so it wouldn't be in her eyes and interfere with her work, I swear you... or just when she was in the mood - who could tell? But it was not suitable for determining the time, with its usual stillness, as if freezing the world in a kind of timelessness... I will never get used to it. A trifle, it would seem, but... In general, after getting the hang of it, I gradually began to feel how slowly people live here. No phones, no watch... I could accept the absence of the first one: there are no cellular towers here anyway, so what's the use of it? Although, there was music on it... Well, okay. But I lacked a basic watch: the impossibility to know the exact time in a second, sticking my hand in my pocket and glancing at the screen, sometimes just killed me. I should buy one if I get an opportunity to... But for now, I was stomping... clip-clopping through the corridors of the hospital in search of the right room. It was an overkill with the griffon, and I definitively should apologize for it. Just without your usual jokes, ay?.. “Two hundred and fifteen”, “two hundred and seventeen”... Here it is, “Two hundred and nineteen”. Well... “I think I said to you to get lost from the town...” No matter how I tried, I couldn't hold myself, glancing at Gilda as I walked in. Fucking idiot! Great beginning for regrets, yeah... “#@%!” The little birdcat clucked something in her own language, twitching, and reflexively tried to move away from me as the bed creaked. “And I did - I got lost! You didn't say “don't come back”!” She said hurriedly in Equestrian, simultaneously eying the situation and clearly trying to decide whether to fight or claw her way out of it. “I said, that you should not be seen by me... Okay, calm down.” I put my hoof out in front of me in a stopping gesture. “I actually... Well, I obviously overreacted and... I'm sorry I snapped..." I hesitated, feeling like a complete idiot. Almost killed her, and now, "I'm sorry"? And after such a "brilliant" start to the conversation... Idio-ot... “Pfft, ponies...” Griffon rolled her eyes. “What your “sorry” would be use of if I’m stuck here for a month?..” Well... Expected. “No, don't get me wrong, it's not that!..” The interlocutor put her paws in a calming gesture. “Your pals have been talking a little bit, and the healers have been nattering a few things... Long story short - I know ya were in your right and all...” Ehm... What?! “Do ya think I’m a complete chuckle nut? Duty of Life is serious! Although I can't imagine how that ever-mum... um... silent yellow pony could suddenly save someone like you, but... well, duty is duty. I get the point, I don't need to hear it again. But killing someone for a lousy scratch is still a bit..." The little birdcat fluffed up and touched her neck with her paw. “This is why I’m apologizing...” I moved my wings awkwardly, still feeling idiotic. “I'd so wanted to rip someone's head off, and then you'd hurt Fluttershy, who'd taken me off the scaffold because, if I can say so, she was kind enough to... Well, I couldn't just stand...” “Yeah...” Gilda prolonged and snickered nervously. “But you did pretty good, it's been a long time since I've had so much damage in a fight that didn't heal on its own! But don't hold your breath: without your magic you wouldn't be able to defeat me, lanky girl!” “But I’m with magic.” I chuckled in reply. “You've got a hard one?” “I'd say so!” Griffon snickered again, and this time, I think, it was even funny for her. “The last time I was slapped like that was when in childhood my father found out, that I tried to get the change for myself! Yea-ah, may he rest in peace, old #@%...” They have good things out there, I see... “But then I had to lick myself, but now... No, listen, it's not medicine here, it's rainbow and unicorns." My companion added with undisguised envy, blatantly fluffing up the pillow and bumping her head on it. “Not like ours...” I tilted my head sideways, studying the birdcat with my gaze. On the back - something like a medical corset, though - not as radical as I imagined, the tail is wrapped almost the entire length of the elastic bandage, you can see the bandage on the back left paw... Yeah, I've got a good punch... “What do you have?” “We have everything a boring shithole has!” Gilda waved away. “Have nothing, but if there’s something - pay for it! I mean, of course, it’s a standard thing in any normal country, in fact... But compared to Equestria, it looks like some kind of a shit. And you ungulates have everything here and everything is free! Even food!” Well, not really free, actually... “Let me lay a square egg, the last time I felt completely satiated was at the Equestrian flight academy, about... who knows how long ago!” Making herself comfortable once again on the bed, the griffon supported her speech with expressive swings of her paws. “I'll become soft with you... You ponies are too flabby... Even the food: Seems to be plenty of it, and they even gave me fish... twice, both are small as hell, yea-ah..." She stared at me thoughtfully. “Listen... You're, like, willing to make peace, yeah?” “Let’s suppose that...” I prolonged, not understanding why and where she is leading the talk to. “Listen then: find me meat - we’re even!” The birdcat grinned crookedly, clearly expecting a certain reaction. “Or I'll soon grow hooves myself from your food and switch to grass!” Ha! "Get some meat," that's kind of interesting to me, too... but where? “Okay. I will see what I can do.” I nodded quietly under the astonished and disappointed gaze of my companion. “If I meet any other griffon in the street, you'll have meat...” “Hey!” Now she really became indignant. “Griffins don't count as meat!” “We'll chump to see about that." I moved a wing phlegmatically, but I couldn't stand it and laughed: the open beak on the stretched face looked killer. “#@%!” Turning around, the griffon pipped and looked askew at me with one eye in her bird tone frustratingly, fluffing the feather on the chest up and making an impossible look of insult and arrogance. A-a, da-a-amn i-it! Ju... I just stopped to la-a-augh!.. 37. The Unforgiven OneAuthor's Note "There's a thing worse than betrayal. A mistake." Original author's note. 37. The Unforgiven One Princess Luna woke up in a jerk and didn't immediately realize where she was, and only waking up from her dream a few seconds later realized, that this room was her new bedroom. Alicorn rolled over onto her back and, taking a couple of deep breaths, dropped her head on the pillows, staring up at the ceiling and listening to her pounding heart, gradually calming down. She dreamed of something sticky and indecipherable the whole night again, on the verge of a nightmare, but Princess could not remember what it was, no matter how hard she tried, again noting sadly, that the abilities, associated with the dream world, have turned away from her. Well, at least with dreams like that she could at least get some sleep, even if they end up with a broken mind and a sore head. Nightmares were worse... Luna huddled up to her chin and covered herself with the blanket she's thrown off in her sleep, trying to shift her thoughts to something more positive. To her new chambers, for example... When the Princess of the Night looked around the bedroom, she yet again couldn't hold back her admiration and, at the same time, her perplexity. All this for her?.. But why? What for?... And how could one live here alone? The last thought made her feel uncomfortable. Yes, the sister’s masters have worked hard - even if just a little under the deadline - and now Luna has been trying to get used to the fact, that in her full and sole possession was not two rooms of her dwelling from the distant past in the Castle of the Two Sisters and not four rooms of luxurious guest rooms a week ago, but a whole new wing of the castle and, besides the guest and service rooms, almost two dozen rooms in it! Princess grinned sadly: wanted to think of something positive, eh?.. Chambers, yep... In the company of a few servants and a couple of guards at the entrance, she felt lost in the woods like a little mare. The echoing emptiness of her new home was oppressive rather than restful. A private library, a swimming pool with artificial waterfalls, large and small reception rooms, a kitchen with a personal chef, and three dining rooms: a private one, where you could eat alone or with someone alone; a small one for several ponies, and a large one for several dozens. There was even a room designed as a dressing room! A large room, where a ponikin with her only - for the time being - coronation dress, and a ponikin with the Nightmare Moon's armor were huddled together... Luna rolled onto her side and curled up. In a position like this, she has no right to feel sorry for herself! There are a lot of rooms, you see... Unfortunate Nightmare, according to Cadence, meanwhile, is living in someone else's house, in the basement, and sleeping on the floor! She has nothing! And she, unlike Princess and Celestia's own sister, is hardly considered worthy of love or respect by many... The Princess wrapped her own wings around herself as if to protect herself from the coming melancholy - and then folded them back as she angrily pulled herself up onto the bed. Enough! Dau... Nightmare Moon saved her life, even though - Luna could swear - didn't really want to! And yet she gave her tormentor a chance. “We must put it to good use immediately, and not indulge in pathetic self-pity!” Alicorn hissed to herself as she yanked herself up from her enormous bed and stood on the fluffy carpeted floor. Empty? Invite Nightmare, who has nowhere to live! Train, take care of her - how you should have at the start! Did they make a monster out of her? Then come out and tell to everyone, that it's not true! Show by deeds, not by words, that you deserve this chance! Calling the servants, Princess, limping on her wounded leg, went to the bathroom resolutely: it was time to clean up. Then she should write a letter to Nightmare Moon. If her sister could not find time to invite her to Canterlot, she should do it herself! ... With a longing sigh, Luna dropped her head dolefully onto the desk, on the pristine blank sheet of paper, which she has been staring at for a good half an hour. Having finished her morning walk and breakfast, Princess resolutely set about the realization of her morning idea: she found her office, where there was a massive desk, a bunch of sharpened new pens, ink and paper, but as soon as she put her pen over a blank sheet of paper, she got confused. All the thoughts and ideas about the message, that have been swirling in her head since this morning, evaporated at once, leaving alicorn struggling to figure out what to write. The knowledge that Nightmare would probably throw the letter into a fireplace without reading it, once she knew who it was from, didn't help at all either. How and what did she have to write to at least get her to read it?.. The more Luna thought about it, the more she became certain, that if Nightmare honored her message with her attention, she would not accept her invitation, even if she lived in a hut and nibbled grass from hunger. She remembered the conversation with her and Tia, when she had just awakened, legs trembling with weakness and a fresh wound, that hurt even through the painkillers, and Luna had come to stop her sister from doing something stupid, against the doctors' protestations... Nightmare was watching her fate being decided like it didn't concern her, and when it came to the armor, she suddenly took Celestia's side demonstratively, as if allowing her to take the armor from herself against Luna's own will! "I don't want your pathetic handouts, traitor!” This is what it meant... Alicorn shivered and swallowed a sudden lump in her throat forcefully. Nightmare Moon hated her so much, that it seems, that she’s ready for the worst for herself - just to not take her, Luna's help... She, probably, would have refused from taking the blocker ring off if Princess had asked her in that moment... “And you spared Our life because didn't want to harm Our sister by your deeds...” Mare drew a conclusion from her thoughts by a cracking whisper, feeling, that it starts to burn eyes and blur eyesight. It was scary to realize the bottomless abyss, which was dug out by herself. After that meeting, a hope arose, that making a peace is possible, that Nightmare spared her, gave her a second chance because... Maybe trusted in her repentance, in her desire to fix everything... The sudden realization, that she, maybe, didn't make a final blow just because of Celestia didn't leave this hope even a chance. She, Luna, still isn't worthy of anything except hatred in the poor black alicorn's eyes, and only the sister's figure behind her back prevented her from doing it... In the pressing silence of the tall and unwelcoming office, the first drop fell onto the blank white sheet. ... Luna watched in somber thoughtfulness the flow of water from the faucet slammed noisily into the polished stone of the sink and, gleaming in the light of the magical lamps, ran in a small arc towards the drain. Throwing off her daze, Princess sighed and, splashing her face with water once more and blinking, shut it off. The mirror she looked up at still showed flushed eyes and puffy eyelids. And the mascara has to be reapplied... Swallowing the urge to say something to herself in the mirror - remembering how it had already turned out once - alicorn hurried out into the bedroom. It’s so... A sudden cautious knock on the door prevented her from finishing her thought. “Your Highness, may I come in?” “You may.” Luna straightened and lifted her wings slightly, taking on a stern and collected look. “Your Highness.” Bowing, a unicorn-servant entered the room.” Her Highness Princess Celestia... A-asks for an audience...” She stumbled on her last words. “Call her in right now!” “As you wish, Your...” “RIGHT NOW!” Princess wasn't able to hold it, causing the frightened mare to literally fly out of the bedroom and ran towards the hall with a drumming clopping How?... Who dared to stand in the way of her sister?!... Gaze caught a thestral-sentinel, running after the servant, and alicorn sighed tiredly. Of course... Ever since she's moved here, all visitors - even her servants - have been shadowed by mouse-winged guards, making sure they didn't dare to harm the Great Mother’s property or, Night forbid that, herself. They even tasted all the food at the door! At first they even took away forks and cutlery knives, until Luna convinced them, that it was unnecessary. Right after she banned magic blockers on all incoming unicorns... Princess clutched her wing to her face for a few seconds. Poor night ponies... And she'd let them down... How could she now judge thestrals for their distrust, turning paranoid, of ordinary ponies in general, and of Celestia's servants in particular? And, more importantly, how do you change this for the better? “Greetings, Luna! Good morning!” The cheerful voice of sister brought the thoughtful blue alicorn back to reality. “Greetings, Your Hi...” Luna froze mid-bow, biting tongue. “E-ehm... I mean... Hello, Ti...” The junior Princess tried to fix the mess, straightening up in a haste and barely feigning a smile on her face, “Luna...” She sighed sadly, stepped closer and gently touched her sister's neck with her wing. “Sorry, I was thinking..." Luna's nervous glance flickered, catching one of her guards, a rare thestral-unicorn, who has followed Celestia as a part of the convoy and was standing just beside her, cocking ears and rolling her jaws in an angry glare. “Leave us!” The Princess of the Night ordered with a flame in her tone, looking in mare’s crimson eyes. The dark red night pony, puffing her nostrils angrily, hesitated, swinging her saber-shaped horn reluctantly, accepting her Mistress' will but clearly not agreeing with it. Two more guards followed, leaving the sisters alone. “How are you doing, Lu?” She smiled, seemingly unconcerned by what has happened. “And when are you going to stop bowing to me?” She finished, sounding a little sad. "Tis only happens when..." She paused, catching herself on the same old fashioned way. “It... Happens, I was thoughtful. And it happened only a few times!” For some reason, she tried to justify herself, still feeling a little confused. “Don't worry about it, my moonbeam. I don't blame you." Tia hugged her sister briefly, a sad smile on her face. “Is everything alright?..” The Princess of the Night asked shyly. She was really looking forward to this meeting: Celestia has been so busy these past few days that she has barely taken the time to visit her in the hospital wing, and after the doctors finally released the younger alicorn, she and her sister have not seen each other since, aside from a couple of brief dinners together, Tia presented Luna with her new quarters and, after a quick introduction to the developer of their project, departed, leaving Princess to explore her new dwelling in the company of a desperately timid miniature earth pony in formal dress. “Yes, everything is alright!” Celestia reacted a little hastily, and smiled a little unnaturally, making Luna tense. “I've finally passed on some of my work to Cadence - she could use the practice, and I finally have time to... to spend it with you." The Princess of the Day was suddenly embarrassed. “That's good." Smiled the younger Princess, whose gaze has already revealed the carefully camouflaged bags under her eyes and her reddened eyes... She clearly needed a rest. And her own loneliness was a very heavy burden... “And by the way... Have you... Have you invited Nightmare to come yet?..” Luna looked uncertainly down at the floor and remembered her failure with the letter. Maybe it's... “No!” The blue alicorn recoiled back from the voice reflexively, sounding almost like a scream. “I mean, I haven't, but... Please, let’s not hurry things along, Lu!” Clearly perplex Celestia started to speak in a hurry. “Hurry things along? How many days have it been? Five? Six? Or it is still not enough for, how did you say, for a “pause”?” The Princess of the Night scowled displeasedly. “Even a hundred wouldn't be enough...” The snowy mare sighed, closing her eyes for a few seconds. “I’m... I’m afraid for you, Lu. There was nothing, absolutely nothing I could do when it was necessary! Not just nothing!.. I didn't even understand what was going on until it was too late! Left you alone amidst an unknown world, thinking, that...” The Princess of the Sun stopped half-word, fixing eyes at her feet. “And then... And then Nightmare came, and I almost lost you forever.” “Ti, I’m... Everything is alright...” Luna lost her nerve, scolding herself for the loose tongue in thought. At the first long-awaited meeting between her and sister in several days, she blurted it all out and started pushing all of a sudden... Hay, stupid nag! “Alright...” The snowy alicorn's repeat echoed with sadness. “Alright by some inconceivable miracle, contrary to everything I've done! I promise I won't make that mistake again, sister. And I won't put you in that kind of danger. Never again.” ... “Thank you for the science.” “You're welcome, Your Highness! Helping you is a pleasure to me!” A bright pink pegasus with a bright purple mane and with a cutie mark in form of a wax stamp bowed to Luna. “But if you allow me to comment...” “I allow you.” Princess sighed quietly. When at last, at the end of the lesson, will this phrase no longer be uttered?.. “Pay more attention, please. I understand it's hard to change from the old and familiar experience, but... whip punishment hasn't been practiced in over five hundred years! It’s cruel! And twenty of them! It’s!.. It’s!..” The pink pony couldn't find the words. “No more cruel than branding with red-hot iron for sodomy." Remembering one of their first practice debates, Luna tried to turn it into a joke. Judging by the way her law teacher's ears flattened and her head pulled back into her shoulders, it didn't sound good. “I'll see you the day after tomorrow at this time." Princess couldn't contain her disappointment - her disappointment with herself - and she crumpled the conversation with a dry phrase. The pegasus bowed silently and hurriedly - more hurriedly than usual - disappeared out the door, making the alicorn feel a prick of conscience for her intemperance. She wanted to make amends... She opened the door and took a step over the threshold... only to find Princess Cadence, squirming in the corridor under the watchful gaze of her guards. “It's... Greetings. I came to you...” Alicorn said hi and feigned a smile, clearly losing courage. “Of course, come in.” Luna invited a bit perplexedly, stepping aside and nailing the guards with a stare, who wanted to follow the guest, forcing them to stay outside the door. “Thanks.” The Princess of love smiled shyly, when a massive door, that leads to the blue alicorn's chambers, closed. “They... They scare me. A b-bit.” She stumbled. “Me too sometimes.” Luna sighed. “Their... Rig... Paranoia towards the day ponies, it's...” The older Princess waved away with her wing with sad, not finding the words. “I think they just need time... Wow...” Cadence stopped short, making a sweeping glance over the room. “And this is only the entrance room...” The Princess of the Night commented the guest's delight without enthusiasm. “These mansions are enormous beyond all measure and as empty as the dusty plains of the Moon..." She hugged herself with her wings. “Sorry for not coming earlier.” The pink alicorn became confused. “I become very tired these days... My aunt is actively bringing me up to date right now - but I've got a little bit of time while she's having an appointment. Honestly, I really should have been there too, but I'll probably be more needed here." She smiled wanly. “Thanks for coming by.” Luna returned a smile. Cadence's visit really pleased her. They were never really close, but the young alicorn helps the Princess of the Night in many ways. She visited when her sister was busy, helped her with her studies and her understanding of the changing world around her... Something inside Luna protested against the fact that such a rootless pony has suddenly become an alicorn Princess, but her words and actions repeatedly broke these vestiges of the past. “How are you... After everything?” The pink pony asked shyly, making an indefinable gesture. “Maybe I can help you?” Luna bit her lip thoughtfully. Sister's visit pleased her, of course, but she still felt something like a fallout after that for some reason. And maybe she just wanted to speak out... Luna did not dare to load Tia with her problems, admittedly... “Not bad.” She finally replied vaguely. “I’m more concerned about Celestia. She passed by today and I think she aches about it even more than I do.” “I’m concerned as well.” Cadence sighed quietly. “She... She had a very hard time during that night. And honestly.” Alicorn lowered her tone. “I never could imagine her in such a state.” “Yes, she said she was very worried...” “Worried?” The junior Princess suddenly chuckled bitterly. “When she understood where and why you was heading to... I couldn't imagine seeing Princess Celestia herself in such despair! I don't know if she told you something like that, but I assure you: she loves you for such an extent, that she would sacrifice everything for you without even thinking about it.” Luna turned away, swallowing a bitter lump in her throat and feeling a burning sensation creeps to her eyes. She didn't even apologize to her sister for all of this! Didn't think what she would feel! Didn't... Didn't pay attention to it. Who is she to her? A traitor and a former criminal, useless, pathetic and not being able to do anything... And also - sister. The sister. And, perhaps, the beloved, if for her sake she can build up all this, endure her powerlessness and claims... Beloved and anxiously awaited for so many centuries... only to lose her again?.. No, Tia has mentioned about waiting for her before... But for some reason, the full depth of the situation only became apparent to Luna now. “We...” The Princess of the Night couldn't hold a sob. “We are obliged to fall down and beg our sister's forgiveness for this endless disregard of her feelings..." She said with difficulty, blinking back the tears she has shed. “You don't have to, Luna...” Cadence touched her with a wing shyly. “Your sister doesn't need it. All she needs is your joy and safety. That you can do well...” “Sorry, Cadence. I've... I've been acting inappropriately these days, I've lost the courage." Luna said, hiding her gaze, apologizing and taking a few deep breaths to calm herself down. “Don't mention it, everything is alright.” She smiled hesitatingly. “I came with the aim to help you and... Be around, when you need a friend, that's willing to listen to you.” “Friend... I don't know... Sister also told, that it's important, but... I’m afraid, Cadence. I... I have only a bit of such experience! I don't understand anything in the modern world! Everyone will be scared of me! Or will laugh at me, like they did then! Or!..” The Princess of the Night suddenly stopped short and, fixing eyes at the interlocutor, drooped her head. “Or I’ll betray everyone myself and push everyone off, like... Like I did with Nightmare Moon some time ago.” She panted, feeling the swiftly coming tears and a cloudy veil, obscuring her eyes. “Tell it. Tell me everything.” The junior alicorn looked in Luna's eyes compassionately. “Let me help with your burden!” “I...” The Princess of the Night sobbed, not being to hold it. “I’m n-not... I...” ... “E-everything will be alright...” Cadence whispered, dashing the tears away and continuing to stroke sobbing Luna. The fur on her chest was soaked through, and her mascara must have left smudges of her own tears on her face, but none of this mattered in the slightest before the story of the unhappy Princess of the Night. What she had done was horrifying. It also horrified Luna herself, killing her from within like poison. And there was no forgiveness for it, despite the most sincere, desperate remorse. Cadence clenched her legs around her tighter and closed her eyes. She was so unbearably sorry for them! For Luna! For Nightmare! She wanted this huge mistake, that hurt and poisoned both of them to erase, vaporize, vanish. “S-sorry...” Luna tried to break the embrace, sobbing brokenly. “Don't. Everything is alright...” The Princess of the love whispered, longing the embrace for another minute, but then let the junior alicorn go. “She would n-never forgive me.” Dashing the last tears, Luna stated gloomily with her lost voice. “No!” Cadence rose. “I... I’ll think of something! I'll talk to her! I'll do everything within my strength. She will forgive you. I give you my word. 38. A Drawn Out SilenceAuthor's Note "Staying in Ponyville starts to become drawn out..." Original author's note. 38. A Drawn Out Silence “Have you done it?” “I guess. Take it.” I handed over a piece of cloth to Rarity with a curved line on it and extinguished the horn with a big relief. “You're making progress, dear.” She smiled, examining the result of my job with a gaze. “Is the sensitivity coming back?” “Bit by bit. But I still can't feel the needle very well, I have to stick it by-sight from the reverse side, aiming deliberately... It’s slow.” I cringed. My dressmaking skills - when I was a human - were enough, at most, to sew up small holes. Now I suppose I could fix something with telekinesis, too... ten times slower. I had not been able to do that even a few days ago, so my telekinesis training with Rar was definitely paying off. I learned to cook as well, which was something I knew how to do before, so I only had to learn a couple of local dishes, and the only thing I wasn't good at was shredding. It was a bit large, a bit crooked... But I was already cooking better than Sweetie Belle, and Rar has even trusted me a couple of times to take care of the kitchen... I lived with her now, by the way, in “Carousel”, right in the workshop. Rar didn't have that lot of rooms, so this is why I live here for the time being...It's not as quiet and peaceful as Twilight's not-so-popular library, but without the cool protocol and heavy-handed glances at my back, that Celestia's student gives me now, clearly in no hurry to forget her distressed mentor. In fact, Rarity has suggested I move in with her just after she stopped by to see me at “Golden Oak” - apparently Twilight's fake smile and my strenuous - because it was really starting to get on my nerves - couldn't-care-less attitude didn't deceive her. I was a little nervous at first, but then I thought... And, well, screw her, that nerd. But honestly, I came to a conclusion afterwards, that my presence would hardly help Rarity's business... What an idiot... But I couldn't go back, could I? So I tried to provide at least some benefit to the unicorn. However, some benefit was already brought by my mere presence: when a word got out that I was living here, the fashion designer got back in just a couple of days a considerable amount of debts, which she did not demand from anyone with force, either because of her character or because of a certain indifference to money. “Rarity!” Sweetie appeared on the workshop's doorstep, pulling me out of the memories. “Miss Sparkle has come to you!” “To you”, definitely.” I chuckled. “She has been stopping by pretty frequently these days, and sometimes even more than once... I partially heard and partially saw a few times of her “To Rarity”. Comes in, says hi, hesitates under the awaiting gaze, refuses from tea with a nervous giggle, “absolutely accidentally” - read dead on end - asks how it is going and what's about Nightmare, goes off in a hurry, referring to pressing businesses. “I’m going.” Unicorn rose, putting aside the result of my trainings with a barely noticeable sigh. I think these visits are getting on her nerves as well... “I’ll join you.” I stated, following and being happy about a break in thought: I’m tired a bit. And I slept pretty badly on the pills, as usual - again, I didn't get a good night's sleep, and I don't know which time it is... And also a couple of question arose to Twilight on the topic of me, awaiting the invitation to Canterlot. I don't say I don't like being here - I mean in Rar's... But I think, that the capital should have remembered about one black horned-winged problem - how much time has passed? Five-ish days? And there’s still silence... Strange. “Greetings, Twilight!” Rar cheerly welcomed her friend right from the stairs. I hastened the pace, noticing, that I’m not keeping up while in thoughts for almost a stair flight. However, it's even better - the talk will fasten up... “O!.. “E-ehm... H-hello! And I’m... E-ehm... How are you doing? Is everything alright?” Twi said swiftly, in typical tone during her last visits. Yeah, I can feel this big experience of talking... “Quite good, thanks.” I outran the house’s owner with the answer, showing myself up on the stairs. “N-Nightm-mare?” The lavender mare got confused even more. Yeah, I came to her for the first time during these three days... “A... This...” “Any letters from Celestia?” I said right off the bat, making the voice more chilly. “For me or maybe about me?” “N-no, none.” Twi got a little bit of grip when Tia has been mentioned. “Are you sure?...” “Nightmare, please...” Rarity touched me and caught my gaze, shaking her head scoldingly. “She's lying.” Backing off, I moved a wing indefinably and moved back for a step. “She goes here as frequently as if here was free cider. Or will you say you do it at your own will?...” “I’m just, ehm... I’m just, well, w-worried about my friend...” Turned red Sparkle mumbled under her breath. “Even if so?” The designer looked at me with clear dissatisfaction, and it seems, that she didn't hear Twi's mumble. “Lying is bad of course, but Her Highness’ task could have been a secret one!” “Okay, never mind.” I waved away, cringing from the level of "secrecy” in thought. “If there weren't letters, send mine then. Wait a few minutes.” “Nightmare...” Rarity's sigh caught me, when I was already coming upstairs. ... “Greetings, Princess. I have ended my affairs in Ponyville. Made peace with Gilda, as you wished, and even found the “lucky one”, who caught my magic beam accidentally, and apologized to her as well. Waiting for your call. NM. P.S. If you've changed your mind about this - just write it. Then I’ll start to think of where to settle down.” I ran my eyes over the text one more time, folded the sheet in four, hoofed the folds, and, tossing a brand-new pencil - my own! - into my bag, headed downstairs. I’m tired of sitting on pins and waiting grass grow under my feet... “Enjoy your meal.” I wished to the unicorns, descending and entering the kitchen, when both of them were spending time with tea. Rar was trying to get Twilight talking with some excitement; she was blushing and paling and giving one-word answers, clearly uncomfortable with simple communication. In the corner, Rarity's cat, Opal, was crunching her food, and she vanished into the unknown when I stepped into the kitchen. Sweetie was complaining, that she's completely intolerable, but for me it's a normal cat, he-he-he... “Thanks, Nightmare.” Rarity nodded, smiling. “Would you like to join?” “No, thanks.” I shook my head and turned to Twi, who is looking at the tea bowl, forcefully feigning, that she’s not here: “Here, a report for Celestia. “I’ll wait for her answer.” I put the folded sheet onto the table next to the Princess’ student and headed back to the stairs. I’ll wait for her answer... And hope, that this answer comes at all. ... “Fuck...” I shook the box hopelessly, trying to get the non-existent contents onto the table, and shifted my gaze to the empty blister lying there, next to the glass of hard cider. I missed the moment I ran out of pills, idiot! I've been gradually reducing the dose every evening, down to a minimum of two pills from as many as six - this is why I thought there are so many of them... But I didn't notice anything yesterday for some reason, managing to put an empty blister into the box in the holy confidence, that I still have a couple or so?.. Damn it! That’s bad... That is fucking bad! I went to the pharmacy this afternoon, just to buy more drugs, but the pharmacist I knew just shook his head sympathetically: it's out. And I waved this away: will look for it tomorrow, I still have some for today... Damn... Maybe I should go, breach the door and rob the pharmacy - maybe he lied to me?.. “Nightmare?!.. “I said it loud?..” I specified indifferently, turning back to Rarity, who came up to me. “Please, calm down, Nightmare! What happened? Can I help you?” She started to rattle on, accidentally moving to the doorway and clearly preparing to hold me from injudicious actions. “It happened.” With a sigh, I agreed and dropped the empty blister and box, which became empty really suddenly and it's really unwanted, onto the floor in front of the unicorn. “I won't sleep today. Because if I do - I’ll regret this...” “Oh...” She drooped, understanding quickly the things before her. “Too late to buy. It’s empty. So...” I took the glass and drank everything in it, not feeling the flavor. “A really beautiful night awaits me. And even if I fall asleep - the same fate awaits you and Sweetie, when Luna's executioners will start to tear my wings and I’ll start to scream while dreaming...” I stared through the glass at the light fixture, that has turned into a bright cloudy spot, and put the container on its place with a clatter. Fucking hell, a... “Oh, Nightmare!..” Rarity almost sobbed and came closer, getting on her hind legs and hugging me around my neck, tickling my nose a bit with her violet-scented mane... You cannot be indifferent, Marshmallow... Who am I to you?.. “Nightmare, I... I can't help you, but...” Mare broke the embrace and caught my gaze with pity and sympathy in her tear-filled shining eyes. “But I can at least brighten your miserable night and stay awake with you!” “What do you mean?.. I stared at the unicorn perplexedly. “And I thought you must complete your dress tomorrow to this, to this?.. She’s like brown...” “Beauty Wind is chestnut!” Rar became outraged. “And I’ll do the dress even without it!” “Keep saying.” I sniffed. “Take a sleep.” “And leave you alone? I didn't come to help you once, when you needed support the most.” She knitted the brows gloomily. “Don't make things up, okay? And if I’m against the wall - the pharmacy's way is still intact.” I chuckled quietly. “Don't do it, please!” “I know, I know...” I sighed and flapped with my wings a bit angrily. “Why would I if they ran out of it? Maybe I can look for a stash... Which is not there and cannot be. At least I won't fall asleep while doing some shenanigans over there...” “No! Destroying a pharmacy to... to not fall asleep?..” Rarity boiled over. “All the better if I just spend this hard night with you by my side, over tea and conversations.” I gritted my teeth, realizing, that my joke seemed to have finally convinced Rar to have a show of solidarity here and sit up all night without sleep. Good job, damn it... ... The slightly dimmed light of the magic lamp. The fragrant smell of herbal tea. It’s cozy here... And there was darkness outside, watching us with its innumerable starry eyes, and the wind, whose gusts hit the glass in the windows, breaking the silence with a quiet hum and a barely noticeable rattle. I want to sleep... “...Have you read this?” “Pony and love”?” I shuddered and woke up at the sound of the voice, and snorted as I looked at the familiar cover of the book, with a symbolic heart, under which two mares were passionately kissing the satisfied stallion on both cheeks. “I have, to my regret.” “To your regret?” Rarity raised her brows in surprise. “Yeah. It seems clean, and no one would even think, that you just change your wifes and husbands for a night and stuff without any shame..” Cringing in thought, I made an indefinable gesture. The interlocutor made her eyes round. “You see, I wanted to understand your building of relationships here...” I sighed longly. “It was more adequate earlier in my life...” “Oh, darling...” Unicorn shook her head somewhat with loss. “I... I think I understand you... Have you read until the end?” A rhetorical question. I've had enough already at the half to be impressed enough... I shook my head wordlessly. “Well... Unfortunately, for understanding of our way of life it might be really a bad book... Maybe even the worst one out there! It's a collection of stories exactly about unusual relationships, you know? Although its compilers obviously wouldn't have minded more of them, but...” "In this book you will see all facets of true, genuine love!” Or what was it in the preface?.. “Uh-oh... No wonder it made such a monstrous impression on you!” The interlocutor drooped her ears and sighed. “Do you want to say that it’s not a widespread method?” I poked the book distrustfully. “Of course it’s not!” Rarity moaned, dropping her head onto the table and laying there for a few seconds. “In an ordinary, usual family, like mine, Twilight's, Applejack's... was..." She faltered for a moment. “At most - a stallion and one-two mares. Even herd made up of three is already a rarity, at least nearby. In the South, they say, couples live much less often... And what is described here is exotica! It’s like 5 percent of the equestrian families! And a small statistic is brought up at the end...” Yeah... Well, five is not the smallest number I'd say... Fifty thousands on a million isn't exotica for me... And by the way... “Fine if so... Why do you need it then?” I nodded at the book, chuckling archly. “Love exotica, m?” “You got to face it - the annotation didn't promise something special...” Rarity became confused a bit. “And I like books about relationships, about love... Isn't it beautiful, Nightmare? “He kissed her, and their hearts trembled, beating in unison!” She quoted something with a gasp, putting her wrist to her forehead. “More like “he kissed her, her brother and their griffon-husband”, judging by it.” I nudged the book across the table to the unicorn, chuckling. “Nightmare!” She looked at me indignantly, but then hesitated and waved away hopelessly. “Oh, you don't understand romance at all, dear... It's love, after all!..” “You know... That's better for me.” I chuckled in my thoughts, turning a deaf ear to the Rarity's big talks, feeling my leaden eyelids try to droop. I want to sleep... ... “Nightmare! Nightmare! How are you?” “Huh?!..” I rubbed my face with my hooves and looked up at the unicorn, who was looking at me anxiously with flushed eyes. “I’m dreaming, I can't...” Yes, when you don't get enough sleep all the time, you have to sit and cope in the middle of the night... Oh, man... But, by the way, I didn't expect Rar to be so relaxed about her being awake at night, but she's held her own so far. But I was already floating away and began to pass out as soon as I closed my eyes... Even with my eyes open, to be honest... “Maybe you’ll try to fall asleep?..” She offered, shyly picking the table with hooves and hesitating. “Maybe this time nothing will appear?..” “I doubt that. Why wouldn’t it?” I shook my head gloomily. “Well, then you... Felt a threat?” She assumed wanly and sighed. “And... It will be getting only worse, won't it?.. And I... I, alas, don't have powers to help you at all...” I shook my head furiously, chasing the dream away. Yeah, it will be worse, fair point... But dreaming?!.. Hell no! I shook head again. But of course, maybe there’s a bit of logic in Rar’s words... “Maybe you’ll try to get asleep?” Unicorn sounded again after a few minutes of my merciless fight with dreaming. “I... I could wake you up, if suddenly...” She hesitated. “You're not helping, Rarity!” I eyed the saboteur with a heavy stare and sighed. I want to sleep even without you, God damn it!.. “Sorry! But I just can't see your suffering anymore, Nightmare!” She nestled her ears against head contritely. “There’s no way self-torture is better than your dreams, even so awful!” Listen, pal... I put a hoof onto my forehead with a moan. Nah, without the shoe it's not the sa-a-ame... Damn... Maybe I’ll give it a shot, m?.. I... I want to sleep so bad... “Make tea.” I grumbled instead of an answer. Rar, after giving me a long sympathetic look, reluctantly rose from her seat, picked up the long-empty kettle with her magic, and tapped the floor towards the sink. Ehm, damn, wait until it boils... I put my head, that gradually becomes heavier, onto the table. I shut my eyes, listening to the rhythmical noise of water... Now... It’s over... “Nightmare! Come, please!” I was suddenly wrapped by the shoulders with magic and pulled insistently from the stool. “Wha? Whe? What are you do-oing?...” I mumbled protestingly. It was so warm... And the table is so comfortable... But I still had to stand up to not fall. Da-amn i-it... “You... You have to rest, please!” Rarity begged desperately. “Come on!” What do you?.. I!.. A-a, fu-uck... Something... I can't anymore... “Come-come, j.... Just don't scream already-y...” I mumbled under my breath and cringed. Clip clop. Clip clop. Clip clop. Sle-ep... A,a da... Damn it... M, hallway. Hallway? Wait, why are we here, we were on the kitchen, weren't we?.. A-a, yeah... But when we passed the stairs?.. Door. E, not there, it's room of Swe... Nah, it’s there, it's worksho-o-op... It’s right... A mattress, a sleeping bag - an uncomplicated bed on the floor. I almost fall onto it. That’s it... “Everything will be a-alright, yes?...” Unicorn whispers, swallowing nervously. “D-don't be afraid, okay, Nightmare? I’ll... Well, be with you, just in case... Ye-a-ah... Pony’s lips touched my cheek softly. “The dawn will come, bringing a new day Believe in the best, just be grateful and lay...” My eyelids finally closed, and the words of the softly sounding song began to drift away sharply... Damn it... I’ll regret it... ... She left me. Alone. Here. “Why?.. Come back, please!...” It’s scary. It’s painful. Why is everything... So?!... I’m... This is a dream... But I... Damn it. Again Moon. Again loneliness. Dream... At least not dungeons of thestrals-vivisectionists... I’m sure that I wouldn't believe in them anyway... I don't know... And believing in this is a lost cause... Luna... Why did she leave me?.. F-fuck... I... Nightmare... It’s so... The heart is pounding so fast in the chest. Tears pour down the cheeks. I... I can't look at this... Why?!... This blue bitch told me once, that I’m somewhat a specialist in dream walking now - and what?! Where is it?! Why should I close my eyes and see... It all over and over again?.. I can't... I can't take this anymore... “Why did you leave me here?!” The scream rips my throat. Dead silence. Only the abyss stares blankly from above with its innumerable eyes. I feel that gaze. Anticipatory. Waiting for something... Damn it... This is a dream. This is a dream. I just need to withdraw and... And to feel the tears, streaming down my face, and a huge chunk of my soul being ripped out. I can't... Why is this happening?!... I don't want to!... I don't want to see it anymore! Luna, come back, I beg you... You know perfectly, that she did not come back! Fuck this then!!! And this cursed past as well! And this cursed memories! And this cursed dreams!!! “ENOUGH!!!” It’s like a wave of energy ran through my horn. I feel someone's touched me behind. Who?! I hit without looking, jumping back, turning around, getting ready for... for something. Gaze... This gaze in my back, wherever I turn... It’s impossible to hide from the Abyss... She's everywhere... She's always with me... Heck with it!!! Let her stare at me and Rar drinking tea, it's not a pity! She still will have to go away, when Celestia rises the Sun! It's strange. The starry sky above my head is just wonderful. Damn, I've never seen this in my whole life... Maybe only on some fantastic arts... But why does it scare me?.. And where this gaze in the back comes from?.. I turned around with a jerk. Still the same grayish-white sand with sharp contrasting shadows on it. Starry sky. And no one. And the gaze in the back. Not expectant, but surprised, perplexed. Who?.. “Show yourself!” Turned around again. The nostrils flared angrily, tail whipping at sides. Like an actor in some stupid show, watched by a hidden camera, and the director chooses the best shots... Director. “SHOW YOURSELF!!!” The voice is double, as it was then. The horn burns... ...I’m standing on a sand-filled stage. A starry sky is painted in the background. Above, a battery of spotlights stabs my eyes. Strange, massive cameras all around. A director's stool. A pony-like figure made of purple-black smoke, shivering like hot air. One glance is somehow enough to see the utter incomprehension and shock in it. It's him! It was his look! He's the one who forced me to look!!! “DI-I-IE!!!” Throat is once again ripped away by the scream. A blinding beam rushes from the horn into the figure. My head throbbed with pain, the base of the horn stinging nastily. The figure disappears with the sound of shattering glass. And I... ... “Nightmare! Nightmare, wake up already! Please, dear!..” Desperate and frightened voice goes through like through cotton-wool, somewhere from afar. Fu-uck... Hea-ad... The horn pulsed, making me think of a blinking, half-dead fluorescent bulb and giving me an indescribable sensation, and my feet were frozen by some kind of strange draught. “Water...” I spoke hoarsely, not opening eyes. “O-oh...” Rarity sighed with relief and sobbed. “Thank Celestia, you have awoken!.. I’m so...” Unicorn sobbed again and, not ending the speech, clopped somewhere aside. Fucking he-ell... What was that?.. I remember myself, dreaming about Luna and the Moon again. And then?.. And then, if I’m right, I was outraged and thought of something... I think I thought of Luna, lying to me about realizing, that I’m dreaming and the fact, that I’m the chief there now. After that, the dream began to crack, and I also thought that I looked like an actor in it, and the director was sitting here somewhere... and so it became. And the director came into view, too. And I hit him... And judging by the result - I hit him hard... Oh, damn, it’s so painfu-ul!.. I opened my eyes carefully and slowly right for the time to see a white blot, coming into the room. “Take it, Nightmare.” Something like a glass with water was put down before me onto the floor. “How do you feel?” “I've had w... Ah, f-f!..” I casually put the magic into the horn - and immediately regretted it. I think only a couple of sparkles broke out of the horn. “Nightmare!” A frightened exclamation nearby. “Oh, it seems you have an overcharge... I'm sorry, I... I didn't think it was like this... I'll help!..” A blue cloud enveloped the glass, that finally appeared in front of my focused vision, and it floated up to my nose. “Don't..." I wheezed mechanically, as I carelessly opened my mouth and immediately felt the cool glass and life-giving moisture with my lips. I spit on unnecessary objections and took a couple of big sips, draining the container. Yea-ah... Phew... “Thanks, Rar...” I put the head back onto the floor, closing eyes. “My head splits... And so chilly... What was even that?..” “It's my fault!” She sighed heartbreakingly. “I’m so sorry, Nightmare. I shouldn't have insisted and told you to sleep! But... You don't get enough sleep as it is, and you've had a sleepless night... I'm sorry. I only wanted what was best for you." Rarity finished with sadness. “That's not what I meant." I waved away faintly. “What was with me? And do you have something from headache?” “Oh, I’m terrible!” Unicorn almost whined. “I’ll bring it now!” In less than a minute, I had another glass of water and a pill, hanging before my nose. “Thanks.” I thanked dully, swallowing the offered. “You're very welcome." The mare sighed and lay down beside me, gently nestling against my side. “It’s all my fault...” “What was going on with me?” I couldn't hold some displeasure in my voice. Damn, Rar, will you give it a rest?.. “Well... At first everything was calm, and then tears started to pour down your cheeks...” This is why the fur on my cheeks is dragging... And heck with it, damn it: why is there a hole in the wall next to the window and no window at all - only the remains of the frame sticking out?... I looked around the room and stumbled with astonishment at the traces of destruction. There, by the window, stood the mane... ponikin with the dress, that Rar has to hand out tomorrow... Ah, there it lies... half of it, slightly melted... with half of the dress... “...Then I tried to touch you to awake and...” Meanwhile, Rarity continued, while I was trying to get a grip and gauge the damage done. “You... Twitched, but haven't woken up.” The unicorn, for some reason, gingerly touched her right cheekbone, where I could see an abrasion and a growing bruise... Fu-u-uck... “Twitched, yeah?.. Sorry, I’m...” “Don't apologize, dear. It's my fault.” Rarity sighed. “I shouldn't... Hm. Sorry. Then you started screaming for someone to show himself, and then... And then, with a creepy voice, you shouted “Die!”, and you shot the beam right there." She said, shivering, pointing to the hole in the wall I've seen already. Damn it... A circular melted hole about twenty centimeters in diameter - in a wall a decent brick thick... My head definitely has something to ache from... For example, from what I will do now. Shit. “And then you just collapsed exhausted and fell silent. You could even barely breathe... I tried to wake you up, but you didn't respond to anything... I got so scared..." The unicorn hugged herself with her front legs and pressed her head into her shoulders. “Sorry, Nightmare. I...” “You apologize too much for a victim. If you were under that beam... I also ruined your order for tomorrow." Damn me Abyss... Nice nap, fucking shit. But... What that was in the dream? *** “Nightmare, don't spin around!” “A-apf-a...” I rolled my eyes and let out an indefinable, wistful groan and took my old pose. “How much longer?!” “Not a lot! Just a few...” Minutes?... “...Hours and I think we call it a day!” What?! I opened my mouth to object, but after a second, I slammed it back with a clatter, making a long-long exhaling with a heavy-heavy tone. You have to make up for it somehow - one, no one made you talk - two. So now I'm stuck in the middle of the workshop, while the unicorn is enthusiastically assembling on pins and needles another prototype of a dress from her new collection right on me. “The Shining of the Night” or what is it?.. It wasn't exactly a cheap night... I glanced over at the massive ring on my horn. Medical, this time: I can press the latch and take it off right now, but shouldn't, because it's easy to make myself even worse by witchcraft, and my relationships with control... Damn, I got so used to magic and telekinesis, that only when a cup was busted I understood its absence. I knocked it off the table by accident, but I didn't even move to pick it up - I just reflexively reached for it with my magic... which went no further than the ring, and the mug met the floor. Yeah... In addition to the broken mug, there was a destroyed ponikin and a new dress on it, which also cost Rar the order itself: distraught Beauty Wind could no longer wait for a new one, having gone to some party without a dress in tears. And to crown the picture of destruction was a broken window, a broken frame, and a very lucky hole in the wall, for the proper repair of which I have to dismantle part of the wall above and lay it again... Only about a meter to the roof, it seemed, but the price tag for this repair was by no means insignificant... Anyway, the only thing I had left to offer Rarity was my body, which she was eager to use, and she began to forget to eat and sleep as soon as she was sketching for her new masterpieces Which, by the way, I have to present at the show... With a cheerful smile. In front of cameras. Oh, my gosh... What kind of life is this?.. “Nightmare, lift your left wing, please.” I complied, and, trying to do it quietly, stepped from foot to foot, trying to somehow shift my weight from my more tired legs to the less tired ones. It didn't work: everything was already tired. Sighing quietly again, I returned to my thoughts. A thing, that came out of the blue, if long story short... Yeah... And, as if all this was not enough, I was left without the horn as well. As soon as it dawned, Rar firstly dragged me to the hospital, to the doctors. In fact, the sparking horn was not such an alarming symptom in and of itself - but not when a pony already has some problems in that area. So, as a result, I got a categorical ban on magic up to telekinesis and a decoration on the horn for at least three days, so as not to inadvertently, reflexively, suddenly do not use it. Chuckled: “Playing safe” and, when I returned from the hospital, the first thing I did was trying to witch and broke a mug... And damn me, it’s like without arms when you don't have the horn... Ah, yes... I chuckled sadly. Without arms and with legs all over the body. Damn, it's so hard to live only with one hoofkenesis! It's been only a little bit less than half of the day, and I’m already ready to whine and go up the wall, if to be honest... “Nightmare!!! Don't itch, it'll all fall apart!!!” “Sorry." I mumbled wistfully, and straightened up again, looking sadly at the enthusiastic modeler, shining a black eye on her right cheekbone, barely visible through the makeup. It must have been a hard blow, but Rar didn't even try to blame me for it, saying it was her own fault. She tried to say something about the mess I have made, too, but I couldn't take it. I don't want to make her pay for it, I really don't... I remembered her idea about the new collection and me modeling it, so I gave up, thinking that if the sales were successful, Rarity could at least cover her losses. The thought of getting into dresses and glittering on the catwalk was deathly depressing, but what else could I do for Rar without feeling like an asshole - I had no more ideas. And so... “O-oh! It would be matchless! You can let your wings down, darling. What about the hemline?..” My tail was unceremoniously grabbed by magic and lifted higher, making me grind my teeth and control my hind legs from a reflexive urge to introduce the insolent to a pair of hooves at one time. I hate when she does that. Yeah... How does one say that?.. "Got your foot in the wheel - whine, but you must run"?.. Damn it... But at least one thing suddenly came out as a good one from all this mess: I slept like a log last night and, for the first time in a while, I have woken up alive and caught up on sleep. No nightmares, no hints of them, no dreams - just turned off and on. At last... And something tells me, that the reason for this is exactly where the hole in the wall came from. Haven't Luna been lying about the dream world's powers back then? 39. A Round AnniversaryAuthor's Note "It's been a long time..." Original author's note. 39. A Round Anniversary Yeah... And now we hi-i-it the brakes... The wings flapped abruptly to extinguish speed, and the ground struck my feet. I had to run a few more steps, extinguishing my inertia. Phe-ew! I landed! And even quite good, especially compared to the first attempts... Uh... It was a sunny, warm morning, with the Sun hanging in zenith in its typical Equestrian style, a light breeze drove small fluffy clouds like wisps of cotton candy across the sky, and the cool grass tickled my feet nicely... A crow cawed in a foul voice, nestled somewhere on a small tree on a hill. Damn it. As I walked up the slope and onto the plateau, I spotted a cat, hanging out under a tree. Now it’s clear... “Shoo!” I gave her an advice, coming closer. With a barely audible rustle, the striped cat disappeared into the grass. The raven, to which I was silent, hurried away just as silently, flapping its wings like an insect... I chuckled mockingly after them in the blissful silence that ensued, laid down on the grass in the shade under the crown, turning towards the glistening lake below and spreading my buzzing wings to relax them a bit. So go-od... I've been dreaming of flights for so long - and now I can do it. And without airfields or air traffic controllers: wherever I want, I take off... Finally, I was getting good at it! Yes, I was not yet confident in my skills, I was afraid to fly high, but I was able to fly from point A to point B with easy maneuvering and in a moderate wind. And for the last couple of days I've been doing nothing but giving up on everything and flying around in circles, getting high from the feeling of flying... Well, during this week... A week and a day, to be exact, in local terms: I should probably get used to counting six days instead of seven... In general, a lot happened in the seven days that have passed since the memorable defeat. Firstly, and most importantly - I sleep well. For the whole we... Sennight - yes! Not a singe nightmare! At least something I dreamed of was only once, and it was a normal dream of a healthy person: stupid, incomprehensible, illogical and completely neutral. And honestly, it causes... Perplexity. So it turns out, that the blue one was honest with me? Why would she? And it also turns out, that the nightmares weren't a gift from her, but came on their own - and Rarity was right, in the end, damn it... But since it wasn't Luna - suddenly - then... Wait, the "director" in the dream, who suddenly remembered clearly! Well, in that case I can see why I'm getting a good night's sleep now: I gave him a good ass-beating! Him, Rarity, and her poor “Carousel”, damn... Now I'll be modeling for this, showing dresses to a sophisticated audience... The dresses... No, it was probably worth it to be able to sleep and sleep well, but... I sighed helplessly. The sketches, the designs, the concepts, and the preliminary measurements and fittings were all over: Rarity threatened to finish her first outfit today, tomorrow at most. I’m sure she would make me put it on and twirl in front of the mirror... and smile. I sighed even more helplessly. What could I do now... That's the way it is. And even if Tia texts me now, she would get a polite "sry, i can't" in return. It's too late to back out, especially when, by and large, it was my own idea and my own meddling... Tia, by the way, still hasn't written anything. I have to admit: her deadpan silence was starting to make me really tense, especially since my letters to her have gone unanswered, too. Damn it... It's like she doesn't want to know me anymore. And openly spying on me Twi rather confirms it: it turns out, I’m a point of interest. But she is wordless... It means I didn't justify her confidence... The thought made me feel sick: Tia has done me a lot of good. And in return... Oh, shit... Did I hurt her so badly with my idiocy? Maybe she'd pay attention if I wrote to her properly and with all rules in mind? Well, you know, with the statutory letterhead, with all these titles and salutations, and also with a quill... I have improved my telekinesis a lot, compared to my first attempts, and the damn deficiency was also slowly but surely receding: the magic was gradually getting easier and the wings were holding me more and more confident. Generally, I think I’ll manage if I do this. I think I should give it a shot - it's anyway better than just wait... Yeah... “Just wait” is always a hard task for some reason, and “just wait” for the event, when medics will take this anti-magic ring off me... Damn me. Four days without the horn and its capabilities is... Man, I was looking forward to another visit to the hospital and the removal of the damn limiter like I didn't look forward to my birthday when I was a kid! I’m ponified entirely, God damn it, I was so sick of living without magic... And it's awfully uncomfortable to live without magic when all you've got is legs. No, you can, of course... If you're a purebred pony, and even if you have a horn, normal, conscious telekinesis is practically impossible until you're about ten years old, and you’ll get used to it even without knowing it. But I began in an already adult body and I started with telekinesis... I couldn't help but thank Luna: if I'd stayed with that ring on my horn until Tia cooled down and forgave me... However, it wasn't so much the blue one's achievement: I would have found a way out even without her. And Tia wouldn't mock me for long... Maybe... if I hadn't fallen as low in her eyes as I had in Fluttershy's after... all of this. I sighed wistfully and rested my head right on the grass. Flutty... She was afraid of me. She is afraid now... No, she was honestly trying to hold on - but she just couldn't... And I couldn't see any way to fix it. I could only hope, that someday the cute pegasus would forget what has happened a bit and calm down, letting things to begin again, but for now... Ah, fuck... I rose abruptly to my feet in frustration, and with one last impassive glance at the familiar landscape of the lake, I strode slowly towards Ponyville. At least everything was back to normal with the others. And even better than before: Rarity didn't seem to have any fear of me at all, even though she knew firsthand almost all of my problems and antics. Or maybe that was why she wasn't afraid, because she didn't see me as some creepy, incomprehensible thing, but as... a friend? Not an ordinary pony, maybe, but more or less understandable and... Damn, how do you say "human" about a pony?.. I froze for a few seconds, lost my pace, snorted unhappily, shook my head, and moved on. So... Simplifying, in Rar's eyes my conventional image was almost completely shattered, revealing real Nightmare Moon beneath. Barely very pleasant, but still a pony, not a chthonic monster from the ancient scriptures. I couldn't figure out what it was about this pony that attracted her. Was her simple sympathy enough to put up with such a heap of problems and inconveniences? I'm not blind, I can see that her orders have decreased... But despite everything, she still accepted me and considered me her friend. “Thanks, Rar. What would I do without you?..” I whispered to myself as I paused to look up at the roof of “Carousel”, visible from the high ground. If I had looked earlier, when I was higher up, I would have seen the scaffolding that grew along one of the walls... I continued my way, shaking head. It’s so interesting to see how the tables have turned ...Rar, as I'd assumed many times before, was probably the last of the six I would have considered a friend, but nevertheless she was almost the closest creature I have here in the new world... A certain contact was established with Pinkie, too, that was seemingly lost at one point, but now reliably restored. But we didn't communicate with the pink baker very regularly - we lacked a common interest... Still, if not friends, we were definitely buddies. And, to my surprise, Scootaloo got into my short list of friends. The little pegasus, obviously not very happy in life, was suddenly close and important to me for some reason. Brave, tenacious, stubborn, almost never discouraged, ready to stand up for what she believed to be true - although the skinny, angular little pony clearly did not have the easiest and most comfortable life... She even admired me, I must admit. I wanted to do something to support her, something to help her... I'll stop by Pinkie's tomorrow - I should feed this young, growing body with some yummy thing. I couldn't hold a smile. And in general - I must meet her, ask how she is doing, because after that memorable conversation, we haven't even met. I've seen here like literally a couple of times. And during one of them with Bulk accompanying. I wonder how things worked out between them and how Scooty and Dash are doing, with all these things considered. The painted fool, by the way, also came into view not so long ago in the company of Gilda, bandaged all over the body - apparently, the birdcat has been let out to get some air. As usual, Rainbow gave me a sultry look and an unkind, promising squint, griffon gave me a welcoming wave of her paw. You should have seen the look on Dash’s face! I burst out laughing when I remembered the "And you, Brutus?!", that was scrawled in huge letters on the lengthened face of the pegasus. I guess her friendship with Gilda won't last long either... Yeah... The little birdcat, though, turned out to be relatively adequate - all I had to do was give her a good beating to clear her head. And now, Rarity is already retelling Fluttershy's story about how she went to the hospital to visit the poor griffon - and Gilda apologized to her! To be honest, it even surprised me a little... Rar then was admired by it: this is how a kind attitude and good doctors change even such savages for the better. I nodded meaningfully: of course, it had nothing to do with me, kicking her fucking ass... Yes, I have beaten her up pretty good back then, but we had no more complaints about each other since then: even though the meat story has not led to the desired outcome, Gilda was quite pleased with the partial success. I snorted and shook my head with a chuckle. This was epic! Light green Twi and Applejack in the same state, who, unfortunately for her, had been a guest of the librarian at the time, were still a lot of fun. What did I do? I only wanted to make up with Gilda - they themselves told me to... Well, I came, asked where to get meat, what kind of meat to cut from the carcass, and how to cook it properly so the griffon would like it... I was scolded, accused by the farmer of "my stupid and spiteful jokes" and I demonstratively got mad at them - I just wanted to follow the best way, to make peace... I offered in response to go to Gilda together. She seemed to be tempted to retaliate against me and go away in denial, but when she met my gaze, the griffon decided, that she still wanted to live and confirmed everything, much to Twilight's dismay and Applejack's somewhat less concentrated one. We looked at the runaway ponies with the same gazes, looked at each other, and laughed. Griffon said doubtfully, "You're all right, even if you are a pony" and we parted on that. The next day, Twi, who was looking at me askew, announced Celestia's answer to her hurried letter: to increase the amount of fish in Gilda's diet. I probably don't need to specify at whose expense ... Well, whatever. The question, in any case, was closed, the griffon was quite satisfied with the fish... and I was once again left without a chance to taste the meat. Damn it. The sound of footsteps changed from stomping to clattering, and I didn't even notice, that I was in the cobblestone streets of the town. Bypassers were no longer shying away from me or circling me in a wide arc, just shunning me with courteous apprehension. I sighed. They came to their senses quickly after my return... Not so much as to be eager to get acquainted or not to be timid about my attention, of course, but... And how could they be otherwise, when word was slowly and carefully spreading through the town, that Nightmare was apologizing, and was not staying with some unknown witch-librarian, but with Rarity, not known for her outstanding courage and strength of nerve. But the havoc at “Carousel” has not gone unnoticed either, and now there were condemning overtones in the chatter: "Rar took her in, but she!..” You're getting too relaxed now, colorful bastards! Is it the time to kill someone? “Howdy, Night!” A pink face with a grin from ear to ear appeared right in front of my eyes like a screamer, causing me to recoil reflexively. “Pinkie!..” I swallowed a curse, straightening my ears hurriedly, that were pressed to my head. And right in the middle of the street!.. “He-he!” She covered her mouth with a hoof. “Smile, Night! Such a beautiful day! Come on, boop!” Earthpony suddenly leaned forward and weakly pressed my nose with a hoof, giggling afterwards. “Pinkie!..” I tried to stay with an upset look on my face, but couldn't hold it and smiled reflexively. “Now it’s better!” The pleased mare shook her curls and, standing aside and allowing me to go further, started to jump nearby. Frozen bystanders followed us with crazed gazes. “And why did you do that?” I asked, returning my usual look on the face after some time. “You don't smile much.” Pinkie answered somewhat thoughtfully, with a bit of sorrow. “I just wanted to cheer you up a bit.” “Not the best method.” “Sorry-sorry, please! I know you don't like when someone jumps at you, but... It came out by itself...” The pink pony drooped. Pinkie... “Fine...” I waved away in thought. “So, what are you doing here? Or you are just to greet?” “To greet! And to speak a little! And to cheer you up! And!.. And wa-arn!” Pinkie suddenly started to whisper in a scary tone, looking around conspiratorially “You're in danger!” What?.. “Which one?” “I don't know.” Pinkie darkened a little and answered with her usual voice. “Just head started to ache, and the tail went like “tug, tug”! And teeth are in pain! I was doubtful, but then the hind hooves started to itch so-o much - and everything became clear!” A-a... Yeah... I rubbed my forehead with a little bit of loss. “I think it can be because of Rainbow.” Earthpony sighed. “She really-really does not like you...” O-o, these are her problems. But I’ll definitely have to go along with her... “Live brightly, die young”, yeah, painted scum?.. “I tried to tell about you, that you're not like this, but very-very different! But she only says, that you're cheating on everypony and only feigning to be good, meanwhile planning evil plans at night...” Mare waved away hopelessly. “O, by the way, what are you planning?” Immediately becoming joyful, she stared at me with unfeigned interest. “If I could create plans instead of rushing to do stupid things at the same moment.. No, I’m not planning.” I chuckled sadly. “I’ll definitely say it to her that you're not planning! She will muse!” Yeah, of course. Sometimes you're so naive, Pinkie - I don't even know... The conversation somehow died down on its own, and we walked in silence for a while. Where were we going, by the way? “Pinkie, where are you heading to?” “On a reconnaissance mission!” She answered with a scary whisper and narrowed her eyes mysteriously. “Well, looking for a better way to party at home.” Earthpony specified, smiling at my clear surprised face. “It’s Cold Flower's birthday tomorrow, and I!..” In the next couple of minutes I got the full information that said Cold Flower came to Ponyville from Hoofington, lives alone, is dating Razorback and plans to marry him soon, is a glassblower by profession, enjoys making all kinds of ornaments out of glass, likes dough nuts with condensed milk and meringue cakes... “Okay, Pinkie, I'm going home that way." I nodded at the nearly missed familiar turning, managing to slow down the verbal flow enough to have time to insert a sentence. “A?.. Oh, yes! I talked your ear off a bit, didn't I?” Pinkie answered with a bit of apologizing tone. “Goodbye-goodbye, Night! Hope to see ya soon!” The mare waved goodbye and started to jump onward, humming some tune to herself. I didn't say goodbye in return. I just stared into nothing wordlessly. What did I just say? Home?!.. ... How long have I been here? Early July was nine days, I went to the woods then from the seventeenth to the eighteenth, then moved out to Rar... So, if I'm not mistaken... Fortieth day today. I lost my already uncertain stride. Fortieth day obit - it’s what it called, isn't?.. The day when people traditionally gather to commemorate the deceased. My parents, relatives, friends... Surely they will go to the cemetery, to my grave, they will put fresh flowers... They will drink to my memory, say warm words that are meant more for the living than the dead... And none of them will ever know that I am alive. And what difference does it make if we'll never meet again? And I don't even remember any of them, either by face or name... There, among them, is my home. Was my home. The real one, not this ridiculous sham! “S-shit...” I hissed angrily and doomfully, rubbing my eyes with my wrist, trying to get rid of the burning. The world around me played bright and saturated colors, as if screaming about its... unreality, toyishness. But here’s the thing - I don't have other life. There is this one, in the toy world, in the body of a plush horse with a horn and wings, which is feared and hated by, with few exceptions, everyone around. Who is like a bone in the throat of this world with her darkness. “Going home”, yeah? Not in this world, where we mutually hate each other... I don't know where I was going - it didn't matter. I didn't even care when I collapsed to the ground from the sudden pain that pierced my entire body. "A wonderful addition to the mood." A dull thought appeared for the moment in the end. ... “Khm-hm...” It seems, that I passed out for a second... It would soon become a habit to regain consciousness to the accompaniment of pain... My whole body was twisting and shaking, my withers were throbbing and burning, something smelled lousy... But the bodily pain felt like it was on the back burner: it wasn't just my body that was hurting. “It’s not your home! You don't belong here!” The thought was beating in my head - and it was echoed by throbbing flashes of pain. The piercing sense of longing made me want to cry. Meanwhile, there were murmurs all around me, but I couldn't make out the words, the clattering of many hooves... “N-nightmare, are you al-lright?..” I barely heard a shy and quiet voice right before me. “No.” I cut it off with a whisper and indifference. I struggled to lift my eyelids and met a gaze of the little unicorn's familiar light green eyes. “I... D-do you want me to call Rarity?” Sweetie said with her ears flattened, a little afraid. “Don't." I don't need anyone. I struggled to my feet, shaking, feeling the occasional nasty cramp run through the body. I glanced at the hushed crowd, that spread out. The sound of one voice still rang out over the road, that of Fluttershy, looming over Dash, who was cowering beneath the furious rush of the angered pegasus. So that's who... For some reason there was no anger. There was nothing - just a wistful, indifferent apathy. I didn't want to see anyone. Especially something colored and bright. Fuck this all... I, limping, silently strode away, accompanied by whispers and glances of the toy horses, that were hurriedly leaving my way. I want to get shit faced. Fucking he-ell, it's so sickening... 40. Home is Where...“Fucking water.” I glanced at the second - and last - empty bottle of apple cider. It wasn't as hard as the cider I've used to get rid of my nightmares - that one was one hell of a drink... Magical effort, a stiff neck, a nasty burning in my horn, and a ceramic bottle floats in front of me instead of a glass bottle. Yes, I polished off the nasty melancholy apathy with a walk through the memory of Nightmare Moon and with a lewd, so to speak, drink - it had - you wouldn't believe it - 4-5 percent of alcohol... For an alicorn, even two and a half liters of this swill is water. But the memory, unexpectedly, on the contrary, helped me come to my senses a little. Maybe it was the fact that I did not go into the darkness itself - I do not know... It did not tear my soul and was not shocking as usual - it... I just looked at it all - and smiled wistfully to myself: it was lousy, bitter and lonely here and "outside". Or maybe I’ve managed to get used to it... I shook the container back and forth thoughtfully in front of my eyes and sent it flying with a short jolt. A few seconds later there was a quiet "plop" from below - the bottle has reached its target. I fluffed up the "pillow," fidgeting, making myself comfortable. The view from here, and the situation itself, should have been fascinating, I suppose, but... there were no emotions. Not a single one. The only thing I wanted is to lay here and no one to disturb me. And you know, laying on water vapor was surprisingly good - for some reason, it didn't bother much. Comfortable, hard to reach - nice thing. Nothing else matters. Honestly, I don't even remember how did I come here. I wanted solitude, saw a cloud - and took off. Didn't even think of what, how... Otherwise I wouldn't have climbed to such a height! I rolled over onto my back and reclined, spreading wings and covering eyes from the blinding Sun. Nice. And the horn doesn't stick into anything... No wonder pegasi are so into sleeping on the clouds - or even building homes out of them. Home... How did I even say that? A business trip may be longer than my current life here - and already "home"? And in reference to Rarity's “Carousel”, where I've been living for barely more than a week! On the other hand... From a business trip, from an adventure there’s a place to return to. You can live in a hotel for a year, but there would be ticking timer in your head: “I’ll be home in...” But here - it's over. There’s nowhere to return to. Even if I kill myself and miraculously get back to my world, it would still be a different life, not the one, where only a grave in the cemetery is left, and people, for whom I would be some unknown stranger... I sighed wistfully and curled up on my side, covering my head with my wing. It’s better to grieve like that... The memory of my homeland, already hollow, was gradually blurring, fading into the background. At times it suddenly seemed unreal... Especially in those moments, when I managed to feel at home here. When we cooked in the kitchen with Rarity and chatted about useless things, about anything and everything, when Sweetie, even if shyly for now, asked me to help draw attention of her infatuated sister - and then laughed, when she saw desperately kicking and terribly indignant Rar, floating down the hallway in the cloud of my magic... Don't overstay there! Will she sit there hungry with her sketches until the evening? I smiled against my will. Rarity has literally done everything in her power to keep me from feeling like I was a guest in her house in contrast to Twilight.. The snow-white, graceful unicorn, who waves money away, who takes other people's troubles to heart and always tries to help, who likes to complicate and dramatize sometimes - I think, in order to give herself an excuse to forget her diet and eat her beloved ice cream - became my friend in just a week under one roof. Not a close acquaintance, not a buddy, but just like that... And she made her home my... home. A place, where not only you sleep and eat, but also where you are always welcome. Where you can always return to. Rar was already making plans for where to move the workshop, so that I could have a full room... “She's worried about that, no doubt.” A sudden thought came to me. Sweetie has seen it all, and she's probably told her sister all about it, but you wouldn't find me here, if... “N-nightmare, I... Would you mind, if...” I almost fall off the cloud from a quiet, uncertain voice behind my back. Fluttershy?!.. She, to me?!... “Join along, of course.” Hesitating, I replied a bit dazedly, rolling onto my belly and moving aside. “How is Rarity doing, is she really nervous?” “She's very worried about you." The pegasus said quietly from under her mane, perching on the edge of the cloud further away from me. “Can you fly to her and say that everything is fine? Just... I just had to be alone.” “Well, if... I could, but, m-m... Of course if it's a necessity, only...” Flutty whispered from under her mane in quiet panic for some reason. “What happened?” “If it's possible, I... I'd like to help y-you first..." She tried to become invisible as possible under my wary gaze. Her mane slid a little to the side in the wind, and it was only now, that I noticed a bag with the medical red cross on it. “It’ll heal up by itself.” I waved away indifferently. “Where’s Rarity now?” “D-down. I-I mean, well, on the lake's shore, here...” Could you say that first?.. I got up, wincing from the wearing, aching pain, that ran down my back, and, not giving myself time on thoughts or looks, I pushed off with my hind legs, stepping into the void and opening my wings. The rush of air hit my face like a dense pillow, forcing me to press ears against my head, stomach bumped into my wings I flapped my wings, leveling myself, and only now allowed myself to look around. Holy shit, it's more than a hundred meters down!.. Mother, help me... The lake below would fit on a hoof, I could see trees rather by their shadows, the toy houses of Ponyville were a multicolored scattering just to the side... I swallowed the lump in my throat. Wake up, take a good grip! I stretched out my hind legs, that wanted to press against my belly, leveled out the growing list with a couple of flaps of my wings... I barely held on, when a gust of wind hit my side. Leveled out again. I felt a sweat, forming on my forehead, ignoring a steady stream of cool incoming air. Da-amn i-it... The good thing is that my pony eyes don't care about this mess, and I can see everything normally... Hanging in a downward left turn and occasionally compensating lists, that moved back and forth, and gusts of wind, I didn't notice, how I descended with nervous tension and a rumbling heart in my temples, the ground started to flash very close beneath my feet. Now! Hit the breaks!!! And!.. The surface hit my hind legs, I extinguished my speed with a couple of leaps, and, settling where I stood, right on the grass, only now finally exhaled. Oh, fuck... What a shame if I’d turn gray after that! You know, I’m a young mare - only a thousand years old, in the prime of life! And gray!.. Wouldn't find a husband in an eternity!.. I, laughing hysterically, fell onto the grass. “Nightmare, are you alright? Is everything okay?..” Rarity appeared nearby literally from nowhere. “E... Everything is f-fine... Ph-h-h!.. Oh... Rarity-y...” I panted in answer, finishing laughing a bit and dashing the tears away with an elbow, trying to erase the idiotic smile from my face, but to no avail. “I, if... H-h!.. You remember, fly w-worse than a student - and s-such a height...” “Nightmare...” Rar tried to feign dissatisfaction, knitting brows together, but didn't make it in time: wings flapped a few times - Fluttershy landed nearby. “N-nightmare, are you alright?” She quietly repeated the unicorn's recent question. “Everything is fine, thanks.” I answered coherently as I recovered myself. I started to get on my feet, but was softly and cautiously stopped by a wing. “B-but you're wounded! I... If allowed, of course... Could... Well... Help you...” Somewhat determined beginning immediately vaporized into the air under my gaze. Even the wing did so. What a shame: soft, pleasant... “Oh, that would be very helpful, dear Fluttershy. Let me help you!..” Rarity supported the pegasus in a moment, looking at me with a harsh gaze. “It almost doesn't hurt...” “Nighty, don't make things up, for Celestia’s sake! Burn and electrical injury - “almost doesn't hurt”?.. Lay still, dear, please!” What a bunch of mother hens!.. Oh God, what a fucking big deal - got electrocuted. By the way, how? I remember Dash, it came from above... A lightning? Not bad ...And, by the way, not a pathetic lightning, since it knocked out an alicorn, which, like pegasi, has a natural resistance to discharges of electricity - they have to fly and fight the thunderclouds. Considering that I almost don't feel the p... Aah, s-s-s-s! The skin on my withers burned sharply, making me twitch involuntarily. However, the pain and burning were quickly replaced by the pleasant viscous coolness of some ointment, applied to the wound with surprisingly accurate and precise movements of a hoof. The final touch was a big cold sheet of something, as if I had been given a cool compress. “Come to me t-tomorrow during lunch, please, if you can. I’ll c-check everything and anoint it again.” Suddenly, Flutty said in almost command tone. Come to you? Hah, I have been trying this whole week!.. “Definitely. Thank you very much, Fluttershy. And to you, Rar, thanks.” I scooped up the squeaking ponies with magic, put them next to me, and embraced them both, covering the yellow and white backs with my wings. “Oh...” “Nightmare! Mane!!!” Ya-ay, so cool!.. Won't let you go anywhere now!.. The ponies weren't in any particular hurry, though, and after a brief stupor, they oriented themselves and snuggled closer to me. M-m-m... No, man, ponies are awesome cuddly creatures! The mood, already somewhat restored to normal during the time of solitude, was now perceptibly rising. Such cute creatures, ponies... And not all of them hate one black-toothed alicorn - there are some who - though I don't know why - appreciate me, right? I thought about it already, that I'd have to live here now, and I didn't have much choice... Even so, it’s still not my home. But maybe someday, thanks to ponies like this... “Nightmare, dear, are you alright?” Rarity interrupted my thoughts, shivering a bit and getting comfortable under my huge wing. “I guess...” I replied, shaking my head. “I just... Had to ponder a bit.” “Ponder over what, if you would forgive my incessant inquisitiveness?” “Over myself and my place in this world... that isn't particularly happy about me.” I replied reluctantly. “N-nightmare, this... Sorry...” Came a whisper from under the other wing. “For what?” “For... For Rainbow. She's my friend, and... I couldn't persuade her, that you're... Well...” Already shaking quiet voice finally turned into almost inaudible rustle. “Don't beat yourself up, dear!” Rarity insisted to the pegasus. “I’m sure you did everything you could, and furthermore cannot be held responsible for such blatant and outrageous behavior of Rainbow Dash! Just like that - hit a pony with lightning in the middle of a street! Poor Nightmare! This is completely unacceptable!” The indignant unicorn hit the ground with her hoof in anger. “When Sweetie told me everything, I was so worried! I ran as fast as I could, hoping to find you here, just to... just to be near you." She nuzzled up to my neck gently. "But, to my horror, there was no one here! Oh... Thanks Celestia, I soon met Fluttershy, who, like a true friend and a true Element of Kindness...” Under the other wing there was a quiet squeak of embarrassment. “...Was looking for you here too, to help and support you in your time of need! Flutty, thank you so much!” Rarity looked up from behind me and nodded appreciatively at the crimson pegasus, causing me to smile for a moment. “And I'll talk to Dash about her monstrous behavior for sure!” She drew a line with palpable threat in her voice, making herself comfortable under my wing once again. “And Nightmare... I’m happy that you're alright.” “Sorry if I made you nervous.” I sighed quietly. Who am I to you to make you nervous?.. The conversation fell silent, and I closed my eyes and enjoyed the peace for some time. The smell of grass and flowers, the light wind, rustling in the branches and leaves, the humming and rattling of insects, the trills of birds... The warmth of a pair of little ponies, laying next to me, warming rather my soul than my body. How much I miss it sometimes, though... This feeling, that you're not a stranger here and you're welcome... That you're... at home?.. “Hey... How did you even find me? And what happened... Well... In general?” I made an indefinite gesture and did it more out of an attempt to change the subject than out of real interest. “Well..." The unicorn took the floor, expectantly. "I didn't know where to look for you. You like to come here, but when you weren't here, I... At first I thought you've gone into the woods, like that time... I was so scared then..." The mare shivered, as if trying to wrap herself around my wing, and snuggled closer to me. Damn it... It’s a mess if I’m there... “I was about to panic completely, but then something fell into the lake with a loud splash. I looked around, but I didn't see anyone nearby... And that's when I turned my attention to the cloud over the lake. Jumping at the chance, that you might have gone private with heavy thoughts exactly there, I jerked my head back to Ponyville, hoping to see a concerned pegasus, who would grant a poor lady her humble request. And fate brought me to Fluttershy, who also happened to be rushing here in hopes of helping you.” Damn, I... “Thank you." I hugged the ponies tightly again, and, sighing, put my wings away and stood up a little hastily to not get emotional accidentally. Sincere care and concern suddenly touched me deeply... The mares also rose to their feet. Fluttershy - with a touching clumsiness of embarrassment, Rarity - with the grace of a cat. I almost stared... “Let's go?” I nodded invitingly in the direction of the town, and, letting the ponies move forward, I joined them to the side, giving Flutty a place in the middle. So she wouldn't run away, heh... “This is how we found you..." The unicorn continued the interrupted conversation. “But I know what happened only by Sweetie's story.” She shook her head negatively in response to my questioning look. “Fluttershy, honey, you were there, weren't you?” “Well, yeah... It just happened..." She nodded uncertainly, as if apologizing. “Have you talked to Dash?” I specified, remembering - if I’m correct - seeing them together, when the pause was getting really long. “Oh...” Flutty lowered eyes, blushing rapidly and laying back her ears. “I... I didn't want to raise my tone at her at all and... And behave so badly!.. B-but Rainbow... It’s not right - you can't take your bad mood out on other ponies! Even if you don't like them at all!” The indignation in Fluttershy clearly outweighed the embarrassment and uncertainty. “Dash is extremely hostile to you, Nightmare, but doing something like that?..” Rar shook her head. “What got into her?” “She was pulled out of the complex flying elements competition this morning due to a, well... still healing injury, if I understood everything correctly... And there, um... from what I heard, someone from the panel of judges was supposed to be from... “Wonderbolts”... And Rainbow, she's, well...” “And Dash has been dreaming of joining their ranks since she was a filly." Rarity interjected, noticing, that her friend's social store was beginning to wane. “And quite rightly believes, that for this you have to shine and be noticeable! You can't get into high society - even pegasi society - just by an accident! Oh... Don't think I approve of her supremely ugly act, but... I guess I can understand what motivated her. It was The Chance!” The unicorn finished her speech with a hoof to her chest, especially emphasizing the last word. “Yeah, a chance... For the head of Nightmare Moon herself, maybe they could have accepted her..." I chuckled. “Oh!..” “Nightmare! What are you talking, dear? Oh... Rainbow acted horribly, but she would never!..” “Joking. In the old style.” I was in a hurry to correct the situation when I met the frightened look on the snowy pony's face. Damn, what was wrong this time?.. “Nightmare, please, don't scare everyone like that again! Flutty, are you alright?” “...!” She squeaked softly from under her mane. Even I couldn't hear what, but Rar seemed satisfied with that and relaxed a little. “I’ll try to.” I grumbled reluctantly in answer. Damn, again! A-a, fine... So, what about the situation? Our living LGBT symbol just wanted to scratch her bad mood on me, didn't she? No, she's certainly not going to die of her own free will... ... The bell rang familiarly, and I paused as I crossed the threshold, wiping my hooves on the rug. Rarity, while Fluttershy was distracted by the complaints of some bird that flew up to us, asked me to somehow unobtrusively evaporate into the sunset and let her talk to Flutty alone, so that she would stop squirming and fidgeting so blatantly. I admittedly didn't notice much - she seemed to be acting as usual - but I respected my friend's request. I suspect, that what Rar wanted to talk to our timid pegasus about was just me... I slowed down, waited for the conversation to start, and quietly slipped off in the direction of “Carousel”. I wonder, of course, what it was all about... “Hello, Nightmare!” I was brought back to reality by Sweetie's low voice, who must have come out at the sound of the bell. “Are you... Are you alright?” “More or less. Hello.” “It’s good.” Filly smiled shyly. “M, Applejack came here recently, said, that she would wait for you. And I just wanted to give her some tea...” “Thanks, you're doing great. You can, ehm, go, if you want to - I can figure the tea part out myself, okay?” I said swiftly. No, she is supposed to be able to handle the tea... but I didn't want to find out. The little unicorn's bad luck, once she was in the kitchen, was off the charts immediately. Maybe she was cursed or something... Everything that could go wrong with her went wrong! Anyways, she was trusted to cook and wash dishes by Rar only in the most exceptional cases, and I, having seen the consequences, agreed with her on that point. Heck with it... “Okay...” Sweetie prolonged with disbelief. “Then I’m going for a walk. Tell it to Rarity, okay?” On receiving my nod, the filly disappeared at a brisk trot out the door. The bell rang. So, Applejack... “Greetings.” I nodded to the orange mare as I entered the kitchen. “Tea?” “Greetings." She echoed, studying me with an attentive, thoughtful gaze. “Nah, I've come for a couple of words...” “As you wish.” I made sure there was still water in the kettle, put it on the heater. You don't want it, but I do. I'll drink it myself. “I understand it, of course, you didn't have time for it - Sweetie told me a lot of stories already.” The farmer nodded somewhat towards the front door. “But...” “Where's my money.” I nodded. “How much?” I counted out the amount, slammed the stack of coins onto the table, and pondered. Wait... “Three bottles.” The interlocutor noticed my stupor. “Three? I thought I've grabbed only two...” “Am I going to lie to you?” AJ chuckled. “Who knows?” I shrugged with my wings in answer. “Your “Loyalty” can betray others, and absolutely successfully...” “Loyalty? Ya ‘bout Dash? Betray?!” The farmer was quite surprised, not even remembering to be indignant at my suspicions. “Do you know Scootaloo? Big fan of Rainbow, she was her friend, learned to fly from her. And when she befriended me - this is when “Loyalty” became short of loyalty. Sent the little one away with the "it's her or me" message. And that was it: no study, no friendship.” “Dam’... Rotten h-hay...” She scratched her hat with a loss. “That's why our Rainbow isn't herself nowadays: thinkin’ much, gloom, snapping at everypony, telling dirty things 'bout you all out... I’ll talk to her sometime. And yeah... Forgive her for today's, would ya? She's a good pony, just... Took a heavy beating, didn't ya?” I remembered today's "walk" from memory, and involuntarily shivered. “I've had worse.” “In the woods?... Yeah... Fine...” AJ muttered a little disappointed when she met my gaze. She raked the money from the table and got up a little hastily, about to leave, but froze, throwing a begging look at me: “Hey, Nightmare... I know you can forgive... Just don't kick the crap out of her in revenge, would ya? I promise I'll talk to her properly, so that she won't think any more silly thoughts!” “You can try to.” I moved my wing phlegmatically. “You can forgive”, yeah?.. Strange note... But I suspect, that, in principle, she only has thoughts that are either stupid or not at all. Aren't you afraid to make such promises? “If I screw up, you can hold me to account!” Applejack scowled. The kettle on the stove howled thinly and wistfully on one note. “Look for yourself." I moved a wing again. “Are you staying for tea or?...” “Nah, thanks. Have to run.” The earth pony shook her head gloomily. “Catch ya. Say hello to Rarity for me.” “Definitely.” Clatter, ring of the bell. “Stop whining already.” I chuckled and pulled the kettle off the heater. I grabbed a tea bowl, that was filled with tea during the conversation, poured boiling water over it, and carefully sniffed the steam that curled over it. M-m... I put the lid on - let it brew - went back to the table, took my purse out of my bag again. After thinking, took out a pencil with a recently purchased large and beautiful notebook. I was tallying up the balance there at my leisure... “Nee-ed mo-ore go-old!” Half a minute later, I stated in a voice as creepy as I could as I studied the contents of the wallet and the records. There wasn't much left at all. I put the money back, mechanically turned over the page of my notebook, became happy for a moment, that I found such a large and handy one, about A-five format, thoughtfully tapped the tip of my pencil on the pristine blank page. Yes, if I had paid for the whole accommodation and food myself, it would have been enough for three days... Tia, as I remember, promised to subsidize, but in light of her oppressive silence... Sighing, I got rid of the lid on the bowl and, picking it up to the pencil, crawling on the paper, thoughtfully took a sip of tea. It looks like my pictures in dresses on the pages of fashion magazines will appear soon, if this continues to go on. Well, not magazines for lonely stallions, at least - that's not bad already... The imagination helpfully, in detail, drew Nightmare Moon, looking at the reader from the cover with a promisingly playful look from under the half-closed eyelids, decorated with long lashes, and sensually licking her lips. Wings spread out to the sides, mane spread out on the pillow, between the back legs, draped in snow-white thigh-highs, a pair of buds, tugging invitingly, and a little lower, damply glistening with desire... “Fu-uck!..” I shook my head furiously, feeling my cheeks and ears burning, my heart pounding, my wings sticking out and going dumb sweetly, and a warm, languid heaviness stirring in the lower part of my belly. The thought that it was not some abstract Nightmare, but me, lying in this position and in this "outfit," licking my lips languidly and showing myself to all comers, gave me a feverish feeling. And the front legs are modestly folded at the chest, contrasting with the invitingly extended hind ones... “D... D-damn it!” Shook my head again desperately, and with difficulty swallowing the lump in my throat, I let out in a hushed voice, realizing, that in another moment of reflection I suddenly did not understand whether I wanted to look at this cover... or pose for it...!. Feel all these stares!.. Attention!.. Adoration!... I bit the hoof till my teeth hurt. How the hell could I have thought of such a thing? I’m!.. That is!.. I shut my eyes tightly, took a few deep breaths. Oh, fuck... Something... I need a shower, yeah... Cooler... I opened my eyes, calming down a bit... “Fucking he-ell!..” I exhaled in frustration, as I lowered my gaze to the table and felt my pulse quickens and my cheeks redden again. On a recently blank sheet of paper was a detailed picture of a figment of my imagination. A full-length self-portrait, damn it!.. In all its natural glory... Fuck, when did I ever?.. Something banged in the hallway. Swallowing a lump, that instantly rose in my throat again, I hurriedly slammed the notebook and hurriedly shoved it back into place along with a pencil. My heart rattled in my temples. Wait... There was no bell. What is?.. Opal peeked cautiously into the kitchen, around the corner from the hallway. She spotted me, ruffled her fur, and turned back in a hurry. Another bang, a silence has fallen. “I'll fucking kill you, slouching bastard." I said in a hoarse voice, feeling the tension releases itself and goosebumps marching down my spine. I finished the cold tea in one gulp, cursed with feeling, emptied the old brew, poured the fresh one... “Damn it, damn it!” Only a drop made it out of the kettle - it was empty, shit! I thought there was enough for at least two... I looked at the clock. It sucks... I lost the reality for half an hour - and did not even notice it! I was in a state of prostration, when I tried to pour some water from the kettle, sniffed and rolled eyes. Retard. In fact, I wish I had a thermoelectric pot for four or something like that liters... It’s so stupid to heat it again and again... I got up carefully from my seat, feeling irritated, that my back legs were a little weak and my slightly numb wings were spreading out to the sides. I glanced at the seat - ph-e-ew, it's dry... I put the kettle under the stream of water and wondered. There is a problem with the body. And I can swear to you - I cannot think of something to fix it. The body seems so hungry after a thousand years of loneliness, and now it wants it. And it reminded me of it, albeit infrequently, as soon as there was a suitable opportunity! And I, even leaving out the question of potential partners, was stupidly afraid to do something about it. Get your hoof and let’s go, one would think, but... Even this causes inner disgust. Am I going to enjoy it like a mare? It was a blow to... to the past, to my old personality, to yet another bridge, linking me to home, finally! Yes, it was stupid, silly, strange, senseless and merciless, but I could not change my mind: I was afraid to take this step, and that's it! As if to finally agree and come to terms with... changes, I don't know... And for now it’s me, quietly talking about it to myself. And with partners it turned out to be even worse than I thought at first, when I first started catching myself looking and thinking about stallions... Oh, damn me... I went back to the table and sat down at it, hypnotizing the kettle, crackling on the heater, with my eyes. Mares, as I found out, had a much weaker effect on my body, but I liked them... and I didn't like them at the same time. The same goes with stallions. Both, when approached in a certain way, were exhilarating... and at the same time, aroused an inner protest. I can understand with stallions, but the ideas about mares, as it turned out, made me feel... disgusting and like a fallen lesbian?.. Nightmare's twist, as sure as a gun ...Being straight by nature, Nightmare - or rather, her part of our consciousness, if there is any point in sorting out what is whose now - was warming up because of stallions, causing displeasure to my part of it. With the mares it was the other way around: my half felt more or less good about it, but the Nightmare's part was cringing with dislike. Except that "me" was more "less": the human girls somehow never came into my sight, and the four-legged horses were of little interest in this regard. But there were plenty of stallions around, and the Nightmare's part was happy to make stand on them. Stand with folded front legs and with the tail moved to the side, damn it... Ah, what a... Abyss damned me... The kettle whimpered longingly, forcing me to rise with a sigh. What's this tea to me now? I need something stronger... ... “I’m home!” Rarity's melodious voice announced her arrival at the same time as the bell rang. I hummed, and put the long-empty bowl on the table, which I twisted mechanically in front of my ass under complicated and sad thoughts, under “my own, mare’s things”. At last there would be a reason to distract from all this, because it all started... A-a... “Are you here, Nightmare?” The unicorn asked semi-confidently as she peered into the kitchen. “Yep.” I saluted her with a hoof. “Sweetie has gone to a walk - asked me to say to tell you. And also hi from Applejack.” “Thanks.” She smiled with the edges of her lips. “Please, put the kettle on, would you?” I nodded silently and saw the mare off in the direction of the stairs, reluctantly got up, grabbed the kettle, and put it under the stream of water. Soon it was bubbling quietly and crackling with drops of water on the heater. “Well, how are you, dear? For you it wasn't the best day, I guess...” Rarity entered the kitchen, bringing with her the subtle scent of floral soap. “I feel nothing.” I waved away half-heartedly. “You wouldn't believe it, but your painted one with her tricks almost didn't even anger me for some reason. I had a thought, that a lightning would be very fitting to my mood right now...” “What happened, Nighty? Something bothers you? I think you noted about your thoughts of your place in the world? Thanks.” With an appreciative nod, the unicorn accepted the tea, placed in front of her. “Yep, and about this as well...” I mechanically arranged myself opposite her. Except that it's not for other people's ears. Not even for yours, Ice cream, though I think you could understand me - or at least try to... “Something very personal, isn't?” With a touch of disappointment in her voice, Rar correctly interpreted one-word answer. “I'm sorry if I reminded you of something... Just know, that you can rely on me if the need arises.” “Thanks.” My heart ached. Maybe I'd tell you someday, Ice cream, but... Why and for what purpose would I do it now? No one wants it for sure. And neither do I. “How badly does it hurt?” Meanwhile, Rarity stood up from the table and came over to me to examine my back. Well... It stings a little, but because of that thing with the ointment, I almost don't notice it. It only pulls at the fur, damn it...” “Seemingly, there wasn't something really bad. Though Sweetie did mention that you fell after the blow... Oh, my dear, how strong it was to hurt you, an alicorn!” “And after that, you're still going to deny the idea of giving the “Wonderbolts” leadership my head as payment for joining?” I laughed a bit. “Nightmare!..” The unicorn gave me a look of utter indignation. “My lips are sealed.” I raised my front legs as a sign of surrender and, unable to stand it, burst out laughing. “You're unbearable!” The snow-white pony rolled her eyes, turning away and heading back to her seat at the table. We drank tea in silence for a while. Or rather, Rar drank, while I pondered painfully: should I keep her company and pour myself another one, or have I had enough? “Oh...” The suddenly darkened unicorn put her tea aside. “I just realized you won't be able to try on the first dress yet! I mean, it still needs a little work, but I'll finish it tomorrow. Oh, it's gorgeous! And it will go so well with your fur! And the stone trim is the color of your eyes!..” “Won't be able to?” Now I understand why. But if I don't slow her down now, she's going to kill me with stories about styles and all sorts of design features... “Your wound...” Rar sighed. “I don't think you'll be comfortable and nicely wearing anything until it's healed. And, by the way, take your bags off, please, and try not to wear them yet either. The back strap doesn't get on the wound, but it's very close and could cause irritation or chafe! Let me help you. “ The mare lit her horn before I could object and unfastened my breast belt buckle with a masterful manipulation, instantly pulled my "equipment" off me, carefully placing it on the side of the table. The spine of a notebook crawled out of the unzipped bag and a pencil rolled out onto the table, only to be caught by a blue cloud of magic and moved back to the notebook. “And what was that?” “A little bit of care." Rarity smiled, but, darkening, sighed in response to my dissatisfied look: “Sorry if I let myself go too far, Nightmare.” “A-a...” I waved away. “You've allowed yourself so much in all those fittings, that you can hardly humiliate me, an alicorn, sinister Nightmare Moon, any more than you already had. Well, unless you dress me up in this and make me wear it for the spectacle-hungry crowd of laborers and farmers!” I answered in a slightly whining tone of a wounded and disgraced aristocrat, hiding my face behind my wing. However, with the accepting of the fact, that I'm an alicorn, and I've spent some time in the skin of a Princess - even though it had been Luna - it's not far from the truth... As well as the "aristocrat" thing, and the "disgraced" thing, with all those damned dresses... “Nightmare, dear...” The unicorn prolonged with a half-joking reproach. “First of all, you're not sinister, unless you're trying to be! Or when you're joking..." She added under her breath to herself. “Secondly, although it sounded very natural, but knowing your attitude to the aristocracy ... I'm sorry, but farmers and workers, such as I technically belong to, for example, you obviously like much more! The only thing I believe in here is your unapologetic "THI-IS" to my gorgeous dresses! And I, alas, am completely unable to understand why..." Milliner sighed, summing up. “Do you really don't like them that much? They’re awful? Ugly? Gaudy and disgraceful? Disgusting?..” Rarity suddenly began to dangerously run rampant. Now she'll convince herself of that and run off in tears to destroy her "terrifying" creations... “It’s not about them, but about me...” I mumbled, causing her to lose her mind and let me speak with a slight flash in front of her eyes. “Really?..” She blinked confusedly. “You mean they're not ugly or horrible or disgusting, are they?” “I do.” I sighed. “Then why?!.. I tried so hard to make them fit you perfectly! For you to be like a real... Princess in them! The Queen of the Beauty! I even used more durable and sturdy fabrics to add to their practicality where it was possible! Nighty, what have I done wrong?!..” “I... Don’t like dresses - that’s all.” I panted shyly, feeling like a monster. “Not these, but in general. Well, in and of themselves!” “But you offered that yourself...” Designer said with a loss. “I did. Because trashing the house and bruising the one, who took me, and owing for it is the same hated by me thing as the dresses." I muttered. "Then I won't finish anything." Rar said sullenly. “I'm not going to take advantage of my friend's difficult situation! And you don't owe me anything!” You're out of your mind, my friend... “Are you trying to insult me? I'm not going to take advantage of my friend's situation either, you know!” We looked at each other in silence for a few seconds. “And you... you are ready to do it for... For me?” The unicorn shyly and suddenly asked, hiding her gaze. “And for myself as well. I don’t like to owe someone.” I chuckled a bit gloomily. “Well, then... then I'll try to make these dresses so incredible you won't want to take them off!” Lifting her gaze with a smile, Rarity's eyes flashed a little maniacally. I cautiously stepped back. Oh, man. Something's coming... “And by the way, Nightmare... Since you agree to go on - what cut shape did you choose for the stones on the third dress? Remember when I drew the options?” Huh? Oh, shit, that's right, I promised to look at it... Hesitating with the answer, I didn't immediately notice how the milliner picked up my notebook and started going through it quickly. Ehm?.. Oh, yeah, she was sketching in it - nothing else was under her han... damn it! The drawing!!! “Look, let's loo... k... afterwards..." I tried to object, but I was too late: the pages had already stopped running, and the unicorn's muzzle and ears were blazing crimson. Fucking shi-it... “Y-yeah-yeah, of c-course...” She nodded with a twisting look as she hurriedly slammed the notebook shut and put it aside. Fuck. ... Oh! Beautiful! I turned off the water and, after standing like that for a few seconds, I magically picked up a couple of towels at once. One on the left, one on the right, and let’s go! I'm practicing my separate control of different objects at one time a little. It’s hard, damn it! It was easier to make different movements with my hands at the same time, but it's hard to not get confused there, too... Head... Yeah! Mane... Neck... Wrap towels around front legs, up-do-own, up-do-own... Back... Chest and the frontal part of the belly... Sides... Synchronously, back and fo-orth... Wings, my beloved... A-ah... Croup... Hind legs, outside... Tail... Painful pause, ears pressed reflexively. I sigh through my teeth, inner thighs, lower abdomen, under my tail, trying to push as lightly as possible. Damn it... After... today's thing, I confess, I wondered under the shower about that "get your hoof and let’s go" thing... But the sizzling and languid sensation of the first touch instantly removed any resolve to continue and go further. Hell, I know that I can't get away from my current... constructive peculiarities, that I still have to get used to them somehow, and... Man, I can't do this at all! It's so, I don't know... Unnatural! Not the way it should be! Not right! I!.. A-a, fucking hell... And what should I do, huh?.. Tough shit... All I could do was turn on the colder water to come to my senses and try to forget about this, about my thoughts, and about my stupidity with the fucking drawing... I’m so dumb, that I drew such shit, and then managed to light it up! I forgot all about Rar’s sketches... Why didn't I just burn it to ashes, huh? And what's Rar thinking about now, when she still acts as usual? Shit, shit!.. I just cooled down a bit and calmed down... That's it! No more of these thoughts for today. No more, fucking cunt! I snorted unhappily, threw off the towels, and climbed out of the bathroom, tapping my hooves on the tiles. Done, the horse has been washed. I chuckled involuntarily. I looked in the mirror, grimaced, wiped with one of the towels, rid the shiny surface of the solid gray veil of condensation. Well, my mane and tail were a pair of disheveled, damp sponges as usual, but otherwise - no worse than usual. I looked at the face in the mirror, showed a pile of snow-white fangs, made a face - just to cheer myself up a bit - and laughed. Okay, enough of fooling around. I have been gone in the bathroom already for at least an hour... Yeah, I got lucky with Rarity in this regard, very lucky! She's a bit of a sybarite and likes scale and comfort - otherwise I wouldn't fit in that bathtub. When I remember Twi's boat in the corner of a tiny room... Oh no, heck with it! Make me forget that... And here you have a whole castle! A huge bathtub for an ordinary pony, set in a recess, so that you could splash around and not drown the whole room, and it hasn't been squeezed in a corner, but in the middle, perpendicular to the wall - so you can unfold your wings without a problem. Nice! A huge mirror, shelves filled with batteries of bottles, a large sink. It's a little low for me, but what can you do? And it's not too bad, unlike the toilet... I sighed. That's where the evil is! No, the pony's toilet was smartly designed: it suited my anatomy well, had adequate controls, was equipped with a bidet, which was almost mandatory in Equestria - the only way to find a toilet without one was going to the middle of nowhere - and, in general, was quite comfortable... For a pony that was one and half or two times shorter than me! And my usage of it... Yeah... What an unfortunate turn of events. And even more, damn it... And how much "fun" it was in those days, when I wore the ring on my horn... No, my anatomy - to my surprise - allowed me to reach what I needed to, and the bidet was not for beauty... when I finally remembered about it! “On the forth day the Eagle Eye noticed, that the prison lacks of a wall”, damn it... And before that... I shivered. Gymnastics, God damn it... Noticing, that I've been staring blankly in the mirror for a solid hour, I shook my head, whipping my face with the wet mane and sniffed, hastening to the exit, throwing both towels on the dryer beforehand. “Nightmare, my sister called you, she's downstairs in the store!” Sweetie looked out of her room, having returned from her walk to the evening. “And... Can I brush your hair later?” I hid the smile with a tilt of my head. “If it's not too late. Otherwise, it would have to wait until tomorrow.” “Yay! Okay, thank you!” The filly smiled enthusiastically and disappeared back into her room. Yes, Rar kept me from losing my hum...pony face by periodically doing my hair, so I wouldn't embarrass everyone in public, I guess... How can I live with such a fashionable and neat pony and walk like a scarecrow? I've learned a few things on my own, of course, but it's little things, like combing my hair so it doesn't stick out too much, making a ponytail with a rubber... I can put my tail in a ponytail, too. I grinned briefly. So, anyway, somehow, Sweetie saw it and, unable to resist, rushed to help. Her perfectionist sister wouldn't even let her touch herself, and she could see the chance right in front of her! And, it must be said, the little unicorn was doing quite well, even taking into account the fact, that she was not able to do telekinesis due to age, and worked with teeth and hooves, and with alicorn taller than she is in four or even five times. She was fine, as long as I was lying down... Everyone was happy with the result: Rarity saved time and didn't have to grind her teeth over my "egregious" crimes against appearance, and I walked more or less neatly and saved time, too, instead of moaning in front of the mirror for an hour, trying to get the brush out of my mane again. And Sweetie got an outlet for her bubbling enthusiasm and typical girlish desire to embellish someone, and she was just unspeakably happy, and recently she even thought about a cutie mark of a stylist or hairdresser. Meanwhile, in the store, life was going on in its own, gradually subsiding with the coming evening: Rarity was discussing something with a pony I didn't know, and another pegasus was looking at the dresses and asking the price in a vaguely familiar... uniform? Damn it, I know it! The Royal postal service! Or what’s their name?.. And the pegasus is known for me: “The monochrome one”, from the couple that brought me some time ago the glaive and the Luna's letter about the meeting. With a chuckle at the last thought, I headed towards the delivery pony. It’s probably the reason Rar has summoned me anyway. “Nightmare! A letter for you from the Castle itself!” My appearance did not go unnoticed. I stopped my gaze at Rar. It seemed, that after the drawing... Ah, damn... But no. We never touched on the subject all evening. She looked the same as always, looked the same as always... She made no gestures, facial expressions, or anything else, that could shed some light at her attitude towards what happened, though I did catch a couple of her thoughtful glances... “This worthy pony wished to pass it exclusively to you personally in the hooves!” The boutique owner, meanwhile, confirmed my suspicions with a nod towards the pegasus. The earthpony visitor, with whom Rarity has been chatting, turned pale and flattened her ears at my appearance, stared at coming me with wide-open eyes and swallowed loudly as the white-haired unicorn laughed softly and started to calm her down and tell something to her quietly. The messenger also hesitated for a moment, but she quickly gathered her wits and came closer to me. “Miss Nightmare Moon, you have a message from Her Excellency Princess Mi Amore Cadenza!” “The monochrome one” took the envelope out of the bag with a polished movement, bowing shortly. “I was told to wait for your answer." She added as soon as I took the letter. “Thanks.” I nodded to the mare. “I’ll write it now.” “Let’s go, I’ll regale you with tea. Surely, the flight wasn't easy!” Rarity came to us a little bit upset, if I’ll judge by her look. “But the store... And... Nothing hard, miss! I could just...” The courier tried to fight back. “My last visitor left us rather hastily, and it's evening - and so soon to close." The unicorn smiled to her. “Let’s go, dear! I won't accept any objections!” Leaving the mares to argue - however, there’s no way out for the monochrome one - I went upstairs. Cadence, yeah? Interesting... 41. Ego EimiAuthor's Note "So who am I?" Original author's note. 41. Ego Eimi “Twilight? Knock-knock!” “She is not here right now, miss! Maybe I can... Help...” Spike died away sharply as he stepped out from behind the cabinets and found my humble self on the doorstep of “Golden Oak”. “You can “help” me. Hello, Spike.” “Ehm... Well... Greetings, Nightmare...” The dragon was afraid of me from the beginning, or he didn't like me, or all of the above, so he tried to cross paths with me less often. He even stopped running to “Carousel” after I moved there. Strangely enough, but Rarity has noticed that and she even remembered him at dinner recently. “I have to send a letter to Celestia. And by the way, Rarity sends her huge and fiery love!” “Really?..” “Spikey-Wikey” lost his anxious and gloomy look at once, accepting absolutely official-looking scroll from me without a complaint at the same time, and this one is even sealed properly. “Really-really.” I nodded, chuckling. “She was complaining about you not stopping by...” “A... Can I?” Damn, of course you can't! “I don't know. Ask her, if you want to.” I shook my wings exaggeratedly indifferently, overcoming the urge to put a hoof to my face. “And you?... Well...” “What “me”? “Carousel” is not my domain, so the questions are not to me. Rarity's home today, so ask her. She might be a little busy with the orders, though... Or maybe you're just afraid to see me again, m?” I taunted Spike, smiling with all teeth naked. “I’m not afraid of anything!” He grumbled hesitatingly, blushing a bit. “I just... Ehm... I was busy! Very busy! And now - literally now! - clocked out and... And was about to go to Rarity! So...” The dragon clearly wanted to go away. Hey, where are you going? I looked with a surprised look at the little guy, walking around me in the direction of the exit. “Haven't you forgot something?” I forced him to pay attention to me. “Na!.. Ops.” He blushed and became confused. “I mean, of course, I was going to go to Rarity... Send your letter - and then go!” The dragon snatched the scroll from my grasp, gained a full chest demonstratively, and "blew" the scroll from his palms with a tongue of green flame. Hah, it’s done. And there were no questions, no demands, no suspicions, which, I bet, would have been sure if our stunted romantic had not heard about his longed-for sweetheart... “Nightmare, the library is closing!” Spike announced sternly from behind the door. “I’m coming, coming.” Chuckling, I rushed out from the house. I glanced at the dragon, that almost has started to jump into the distance, and then, with a chuckle, headed off after him. It goes, the letter to Tia... It would be the third week since our last meeting, and she still hasn't say a word. No, of course, maybe her "soon" is "within a couple of years" - with her life time... Who cares - a month more, a month less? Still, that's not a reason to keep silent, even to direct questions! Damn it, Tia! Forgive this poor idiot... I even kept the threat I made to myself the other day and created a message according to all rules: in ink, as straight as I could, in handwriting, with a cap... well, as much as I could: I was not even remotely aware of my official status... I asked Twi about the paperwork: fortunately, she had come to “Carousel” on her own, “to Rarity”, yeah, nice one... And when our librarian ran away, I took up my quill. I did it: the training of telekinesis and the return of sensitivity allowed me to write the text, although not so easy and simple, but at least I managed, not like that time... My handwriting, of course, is a mess, but it seemed readable, although I still have a lo-o-ong way to their calligraphists... But anyway, the message, that was written maximally officially - within my skills - has just gone to the address. I hope, that at least this way Tia would pay attention to it... But quills are still some kind of mockery... You can't live like that. Maybe I have to remember the construction of a ballpoint pen, and find someone to make it?.. Heh, if I could defeat those damn quills, the aristocrats would overthrow Celestia and put me on the throne!.. I laughed softly, covering my mouth with the tip of my wing. Pictured too far, damn it... I didn't bother with other letters so much - I wrote in the way I felt the most comfortable. It wasn't until I sent it off that I realized, that Cadence might not be aware of my writing preferences - what if she would be offended... It wasn't like we were really talking or anything, but it just came out of nowhere... Shit. As I understood, our pink Princess wrote likely to initiate communication, for starters. We talked about this a while ago, as I remember, even during my last visit to Canterlot... Cadence has been sharing some local castle news, telling me a little about herself, asking a little about me - so she's been probing the ground for some kind of relationship. Obviously, that she wrote me not just out of boredom... There was a second letter in the envelope "from Cadence”. Luna. I recognized her only by the handwriting, confirming my vague guess by looking at the signature at the end. I did not see anything special in the beginning, but I did not want to finish reading it, as one can guess. Let her write what she wants - it does not mean, that I would bother myself in reading her exercises in verse! With that thought, the unread sheet was turned into the victim of the shredder by telekinesis, and the resulting confetti went into the trash. Answer for the blue one was also ready quickly: the description of the place, where she should stick it, was contained in a couple of sentences and one emotionally broken slate. Damned horse! If you keep your head on your shoulders, at least go away and keep your head down! Fucking scumbag... I stuck on Cadence's answer for a while, wondering, if I should ask her about Tia's condition or not. With greeted teeth, I decided to not put the carriage before the horse and answered within roughly the same framework as my interlocutor. Who knows what is going on there and how... But, of course, it is necessary to find out, and I will certainly touch upon this subject someday, with one of my new letters, if they follow, of course... So, thinking and remembering, I reached "Carousel" without haste, and I didn't even notice that. Well, okay... What else have I planned for today? ... “Here! It’s ready!” Sweetie's joyful voice brought me out of my half-slumber. “You can look now! I’ll call Rarity!” The filly, satisfied with herself, flew out of the room like a bullet. I yawned and rubbed my eyelids, driving away the drowsiness and coming to my senses. I got a little sleepy all of a sudden... Sweetie has obviously been working longer than usual today - in fact, she had promised she was going to try something new and unusual. So, what did she do?.. I got up from the floor, stretching my wings and legs briefly, went to the mirror, and... “A-a...” ...Froze, feeling my thoughts are vaporizing from my head in a moment, leaving only emotional interjections in the booming and empty space of the skull. This is... I... This is... From the mirror, an anthracite black alicorn with a purple mane, neatly brushed, hair is gathered in several strands with hairpins... topped with a huge white bow, was looking at me, blushing her face and her mouth opened! With spangles!!! “Sweetie, goddammit...” I mumbled in a low voice, literally feeling the jamming gears in my head creak and rattle. She made out of me... This?! Cute and defenseless Nightmare in the mirror flapped with her eyelids with pity and a loss. How the?!.. I’m!.. I scrambled confusedly with my front leg over my mane, trying to fumble for a bow to quickly get rid of this!.. Of this! “Well, Nighty, come on, rise and shi...ne..” Rarity walked in, freezing on the threshold with her foot raised to step. “It’s beautiful, isn't?” Sweetie slipped into the room, bypassing her sister. “Ph-h-h-h!.. Hee...” Someone chocked. I turned sharply, just in time to see Spike slipping out into the hallway, his hands over his mouth. Sweetie, for fuck's sake. “It's..." The older unicorn returned to reality. "Very unusual and lovely, I admit... But, Sweetie, dear, I'm afraid our Nightmare wouldn't like such an ornament...” You're just unusually perceptive, my friend! Damn, it's an embarrassment to all of Ponyville! I agitated Spike to my own harm - you see, I didn't want to tackle with his suspicion... I stopped to rush in an attempt to get rid of the bow. It doesn’t matter anyway, does it? It’s too late for it. Fu-u-ucki-ing shi-it!.. “Really? You don't like it?..” Sweetie lifted her darkened stare at me. I shook my head briefly, barely able to keep my mouth shut. Topped with a big, pretty white bow. A-a, man... “Oh, what a shame...” The filly drooped. “I thought you would like it too... It goes so well with your fur - it's almost like the Moon on the night sky! And with it, you are so... well... a kind, good pony, not a villain from a fairy tale, that no one loves... What a shame... I'm sorry I failed...” I stared blankly at the younger unicorn, standing there like a tree, not knowing what the hell to do. Scold? Threaten? Tear my mane? What?.. “Don't worry about it, Sweetie." Rarity kissed the top of her head. She smiled shyly and rubbed at her side in return. “Would you put on the kettle for all of us?” “Of course!” The clearly cheered up filly nodded with enthusiasm. “Ehm... Sorry, that it's so bad! I’ll do better next time, I promise!” “I don't need any next time.” I grumbled gloomily into the closing door behind Sweetie's back. “Don't be mad at my sister, dear.” The designer smiled. “I bet you haven't forbidden her to make something like that, have you? I've learned by now that you're kind of like Dash, who doesn't like that kind of stuff, either... And by the way... you really do look good. You are so delightfully cute with it..." This... snake winked at me! I stared in the mirror against my will. Yes, you can't argue with that... And the eyes are so huge because of the bangs pulled back... And what that bow would look like on me in that drawing of mine! Fu-uck!.. The picture before my eyes instantly made my cheeks flush crimson, my heart beat faster, and a warm sourness began to warm in the lower part of my stomach. I swallowed a lump in my throat, turned away, and began frantically groping for the bow in my mane. “Nighty, don't worry so much, please. Let me help you!” Rarity carefully slowed me down with telekinesis. I nodded nervously as I took a few quick breaths and swallowed my stringy saliva, allowing the unicorn to begin carefully and unhurriedly sorting out the hair. Phe-ew, damn... It was a very... Good thought, abyss damn me... “That's all. And it wasn't necessary, dear. You really looked very pretty and unusual with it." Rar showed me the bow she has taken off. Twisted it in front of her eyes, put it to her head and looked in the mirror, shook her head disappointedly, and put it aside. It goes too bright in color with her fur, it's getting lost - it really didn't suit her. But when put on me!.. I shook my head, trying to get rid of the absolutely useless thought. “You know... I think I must apologize to you.” Hesitating, Rarity broke the silence shyly. “For what?” “For... For the yesterday's thing.” The mare drooped, blushing with her cheeks a bit. “I... I shouldn't have been so careless about... Snatching your thing and...” She finally lost it. “Forget it.” I sighed gloomily. Yeah... But I think the talk about it would have emerged in any case, sooner or later. “Thanks, Nighty. I’ll try to be more delicate in the future.” The unicorn eased a bit. “And... Is this your drawing?” She looked aside confusedly once again. No, it appeared by it-damn-self! Why are you asking? “Mine.” I squeezed out a confession, feeling my cheeks warm and my gaze slip to the side. Damn it! “I didn't look closely, of course, but... you're... very talented." Rar said, making me want to fall through the floor. And I don't know which one of us should do it - I or she... Damn it, how to treat and understand that? "Nightmare, you've done a great job of drawing yourself as a hot, lustful slut, well done!"? And then what, should I just say “thanks”?.. Or... “Sorry. I guess I’m poking my nose into your affairs.” Rar mumbled, ending my stupor. “I just wanted to focus your attention on... well... great performance... I mean, you could be, like, a painter and draw... Remember when you said you have nothing to do? I... I was talking in that sense.” “I’ll think about it.” I grumbled, not knowing how to get away from... All of this. An embarrassed silence fell across the room for a long minute. The mare and I were stubbornly avoiding each other's gazes, and neither of us seemed to know what to say next. My cheeks continued to burn, much to my indignation. I haven't felt so fucking stupid in a long time, damn it... “Hey...” I started to speak just to make something with that silence. “Well... I’m not sure about your idea with the drawings...” I was tensely silent under Rarity's questioning and seemingly confused gaze, trying to formulate a thought and reflexively whipped my own hips with my tail. A-a, fu-uck! Get a grip, damn it! Generally... Get yourself together!!! “I’m afraid I don't control myself during the process. You must have been racking your brains trying to figure out why I would draw something like that." I grinned nervously. “And I’ll surprise you - I wasn't even going to! Like last time, by the way...” The unicorn flinched visibly. Yeah, I felt bad about that drawing, too... Tia had left it to me, and I'd left it at Canterlot. I should have burnt it, but I couldn't do it for some reason, nor could I carry a simple piece of paper, which had absorbed the pain and horror of centuries, along with particles of the pencil lead... I left it on the table and went away, hoping I'd never see it again. Maybe there would be someone to burn it... “And now this.” I looked eloquently towards the workshop, where all my few possessions were stored for the time being. “I just thought... Not about what I have should - and here it is. I didn't even notice how half an hour flew by, and in the notebook appeared... This stupid masterpiece!” Sighing, I looked away blushing, not knowing what to say. “Nightmare, did you... Did you love Luna?” ... Kh-h... A-a... What?.. What?!.. I’m!.. What the?!.. A-a... “Oh! Nightmare, I’m so sorry! I!.. I shouldn't have reminded you... All this!.. Sorry!” Standing up, Rarity hugged me and pressed her legs tightly around my neck, giving me a delicate scent of perfume and violets. “W... Why did you think so?..” I asked in a hushed voice after a few seconds, getting over with the stupor. Again these ponies sent me into the “blue screen”... But how, God damn it? Where did she even come up with that conclusion? I and Luna?! I mean, Nightmare with Luna... I mean!.. A-a, shit... “Well..." The visibly distraught, wet-eyed unicorn reluctantly broke from my neck. “Y-you've always reacted to all the romance and all the references to possible relationships with you in such a way... Almost with hatred!.. I just thought you were like Rainbow! You know, in that field!.. And now I realized, that you probably wanted to love and be loved, just like any mare, but you were once really, really hurt... Oh, I'm so sorry!..” The unicorn dug into my neck and sobbed softly. “A-are you alright?..” Embracing her in answer reflexively, I mumbled with a loss, frantically trying to to figure out what's going on and what I should do about it. Damn, she really seems to think, that Luna and I had... But I did tell her what it was like! Not in detail, of course, cursorily I'd say... So she filled in the blanks for the part I hadn't told her. What wouldn't Nightmare Moon say? About her intimate relations, of course, which she didn't want to talk about in any conversation! Damn... Rarity... I sighed as I continued to gently stroke the occasionally shuddering snow-white back under my hoof. What a silly horse you're... You've chosen me to shed tears over... Because of the heartbreak of her friend, who now pushes everyone away from her and will never love again?.. Pfft, what a nonsense, I snorted skeptically. There was no such a thing! But how could Rar know that? I couldn't help but sigh again. Should I tell her everything? Everything at all? Why? To dump on her that her... friend wasn't who she thought she was, and, as a result... I don't know. A fight? No, I don't think so... But I'm sure Ice Cream will try to console me about my family somehow... Don't think about it, for fuck's sake. It only gets worse... No. She should not know. No one should. Even if they understood, then... Just why? No. No one knows - and let it be like that. And as for Luna - is Rar so wrong, since she once meant so much to me? I would have gone into the fire for her, and she just had thrown me out! Thrown out Nightmare! Me!.. A-a... There’s no difference already, God damn it... I gripped the unicorn tighter. It’s interesting... Nightmare - not me, the original one - would she has forgiven Luna?.. Maybe she had in fact even then, on the Moon?.. Phe-ew... Some gibberish is in my head, damn it... “Nighty, let me go! You’ll choke me!” Rar, which was stroked by me, started to move down there. “Ops... Sorry.” I took my foot away, letting the disheveled, but slightly calmer unicorn with red eyes back up a few steps. “It’s me who must be sorry.” She hid her eyes. “I shouldn't have...” “Don't make things up, would you? Don't apologize... How are you, Rar?” I interrupted the mare as softly as possible. “Awful!” She sighed depressingly. “Because... Oh... I absolutely can't think of how to help you!” “You've been doing more for me since I got back than anyone else." I muttered, hiding my gaze for some reason. “That's... Well...” I wanted to hug the unicorn again, but resisted: I don't want to burst into tears... “Oh, but what about?..” “Don't think about it! I’ll manage somehow. And yes, about Luna, you're... not that entirely wrong, but there was no romance at all. "Loved," heh... Blind adoration from me, cynical calculation from her, that's all." I pressed my hoof into the floor with feeling, as if to put an end to it. That’s all. “And all these relationships... Well... It's just not my thing, I guess." I tried to answer at my friend's cry. It sounded, to my quiet indignation, rather unconvincingly. “Thanks for trying to calm me down, Nighty.” Rar smiled faintly. “But still... Don't lock your kind heart away from everypony and from... From love. Please. For it will never heal that way! And I... I will always help you - even if only with an advice or a kind word.” Rar... Damn, you... Fuck... Is that what you want... I’m... I stared at the ceiling. It's a nice finishing. And the chandelier is pretty, just like the room - we're hanging out at Sweetie's one... I wonder if those crystals in this thing can glow pink? "And after all." Rarity stood up and broke the silence in a much more cheerful voice. "You'll finally stop scaring me! You don't like dresses, you avoid stallions... you even go to the spa rarely and with persuasions, although you assured me after the first time that you liked it! I'll tell you a secret, dear: some kind of wrong mare you are!” With a wink, the unicorn smiled mischievously. If only you, friend, knew how much right you are... I couldn't hold myself from a wry chuckle as well. “I'm sorry if... I just wanted to cheer you up a little." Rar looked more seriously as she wiped the smile off her face. “Don't...” “Rarity!!! There!.. In the... Oh... Kitchen!..” Cutting me mid-word, panting Spike literally burst into the room. Sweetie. Kettle. Oh, fu!.. ... “Oh!” “Patience, honey!” I shut off the water and watched with melancholy as the whirlpool in the sink tried desperately to drag the heavy, wet towel down with it. The edge of the cloth responded by fluttering reluctantly a couple of times in the stream of water, before it disappeared with a resentful murmur into the pipe alone, unable to draw company with it. As I pulled the wet, burnt rag from the sink, I squeezed it in the vise of magic, squeezing water out of the miserably crackling cloth. “Rarity, I’m!.. I didn't...” “Oh, don't be so upset, Sweetie, I don't blame you!” “But I!..” I shook the wrung out towel, unfolded it in front of me. What a beauty... Once bright and decorated with flowers, it was now smoky, blackened in places, and mottled with burnt holes: many small ones, and one big one that had eaten an entire corner. I shook my head and hung up the wretched towel at its place: let Rar figure out where to put it now... “Nightmare, let me in.” I was poked in my leg with a paw. I glanced at the somewhat depressed, tired dragon with a sooty black washcloth in one paw and a stool just taken back in the other, and stepped away from the sink in silence, letting him climb up on his stool and shove the washcloth under the stream of water. “This is... Gosh...” Spike sighed in the same melancholic manner as I did a minute ago, looking at the black water, dripping from the black washcloth and black paws. And he just touched me with them, by the way... Brat. “It’s not “gosh” - it will come when you have to clean off the kettle.” I “cheered up” the kid, chuckling. “If only I knew!..” He sighed complainingly. You did not, but you still was the first one to rush at the barricades: “I’ll do everything, I’ll help with anything!” Why would I, a weak woman, stand in the way of such a brave knight? Nah, I wouldn't... I chuckled again under the dragon's dissatisfied stare. You shouldn't have laughed at the bow, lizard... Of course, I wasn't just standing by: let's say, the fire had to be put out mostly by me, the burning towel, too... How the hell did it even catch fire from a magical heating element?! It's not like it's a gas stove or anything! But somehow Sweetie was able to do it... The fire was frightening at first, I must admit. And it seems, that by some reflex, even to my own surprise, I created a magical shield, that covered the flame and choked it out. I, of course, was interested in this topic, I had read something, but not like this... However, I did not see the burning rag thrown aside and had to put it out in the sink, where, after thinking about it, I tried to wash it for some reason. I didn't succeed, but at least I calmed my nerves a little. Rar, unlike me and the "knight," did not seem to pay any attention to the devastation, rushing to her sister, and now she was still comforting her and treating her wounds. I think there’s nothing serious. I looked at the pair of the unicorns. “Sorry, I didn't do it on purpose! I don't know how it happened!” The younger sister started a new circle with still wet eyes, despite her older sister's best efforts. “I j-just got upset and... didn't see it and...” "And this is why you decided to burn everything to cheer yourself up.” I swallowed the joke, biting the tongue just in time. They wouldn't get it... Seeing enough of the Sweetie's grieve, I went to the refrigerator, and retrieved the frost-covered bucket from its depths. It helps the older sister, so why it wouldn't do the same with the junior one?.. I torn off the lid with a crunch and, sitting on the floor, put the ice cream in front of the crying face. In response to the astonished look of pale green eyes I held out a spoon. Sweetie, after a moment, thanked silently, and, taking the spoon in her teeth, scooped out of the bucket. Rarity and I couldn't hold ourselves from a synchronous laugh, causing the shy unicorn to blush. However, Rarity started to calm her down immediately. Yeah, nerves, you cannot do anything about them... I’d say you - ponies have a proverb for that: “Holds a spoon with the head” - the head is empty as a drum - that’s the meaning... “Sorry. And... Thank you all for... This...” A little calmed down by the ice cream, the embarrassed filly put the bucket aside. “Oh, don't mention it, sister.” Warmly smiling Rar stroke her mane. “We’re happy that you're alright and everything is fine.” “I really don't know how it happened.” Sweetie sighed, smiling to the care fleetingly. “Well, I got a little bit worried, mused, and then... I don't remember. I got thoughtful for just a little, but... But everything is already burning. There it is.” “Worried? What happened, sweet?” “Well...” The really sweet unicorn poked the floor with her hoof shyly. “I was just trying so hard! Well, with the hair... I thought it would be better, that they would be less afraid of Nightmare, that they would start to speak to her... It would be better, right?” She looked up at me with her hopeful green huge eyes. “It would, Sweetie.” Rar nodded affirmatively, piercing me with her gaze. What? I’m silent... “But our Nightmare... Isn't ready for... This radical changes of look yet. However, I'm sure that will change someday." The milliner concluded, giving me a sympathetic look. “Yeah...” The junior unicorn sighed. “She won't let me do her hair now, though...” The unicorns looked at each other and stared at me in silence. “It’s okay... You can.” I mumbled, not quite sure what to say, really. “Just without... Such experiments, okay?” “Really?” The little filly smiled and suddenly hugged me by the neck when she stood up. “Big thanks!” “Oh, you're welcome...” I was finally embarrassed. What the hell is this?... A-a, damn... Yeah, “Soldier”... Well, in my case - “Nightmare wouldn't hurt a child”, yeah?.. Fucking hell, what I just sighed for... ... “Magic is a fairy tale!” They say, “Magic is a miracle!” They say...” I waved away with my front leg away in frustration and, sighing, collapsed onto the ground, pressing my nape against the cool grass and squinting my eyes into the bright sky. Oh, damn... I could not repeat the shield, that I had created today on some unknown reflexes at the sight of an open flame in a mostly wooden building. And it did not give me any peace: it was a very useful skill! I even tried to look into the subject myself, I remember, but I was not successful then. Now the success was clear, but how did I get there?.. Honestly, I would have given up and tried my hand at making some figures out of stone - Nightmare was the best person in that - but doing so without the shields here would have been extremely inconsiderate. The red-hot stone shrapnel takes your eyes out at once, and they take at least a couple of days to grow back - and that's on the Moon... I shuddered. And then shuddered again, remembering the range of emotions blinded Nightmare had once experienced the first time it had happened to her... I shook my head, trying to shake my thoughts away, swearing as I felt the tip of my horn scraped the ground. Damn it! I pushed back irritably with my wing, flipping myself onto my stomach, and jumped up and headed for the lake. Honestly, after all the things I've seen about Nightmare on the Moon, I’m in absolute surprise - why her body can still feel pain and part of her mind can still feel fear. All the most painful things have already been felt, and all the most frightening things have been experienced... What can impress me after that? And still, sometimes, for some reason, it's scary, and if they hit me, it hurts... “Impress me”?.. Yeah... Maybe it’s me now. I don't know. I stared thoughtfully at my reflection, stopping at the water's edge. Is this me or not? Stupid question? There's no one around except me. I. But who is this male - or female?.. - “I”? How long have I experienced the discomfort of walking with the support of my front limbs? The couple of wings? The lack of arms? No, sometimes I’m sad about the lack of arms, especially during that epic with the limiter on the horn... But still? I live and there’s none of them - okay, I’m fine with it... “Nightmare Moon.” As if I were trying to feel the sounds, I said with an effort as I listened to the sound of the Equestrian language. I talk in it and don't even notice. And I think more and more in it... I plucked a small bundle of grass and, soaking it in water, began to scrub my horn, trying not to be knocked off by the almost unpleasantly sensitive touch on it. How much of who's in me already? “Am I Nightmare Moon, who is dreaming she's a human guy, or a human guy, who is dreaming he's Nightmare Moon?” I said thoughtfully into space as I finished with the horn and tossed the improvised washcloth into the reeds. I somehow imagined my current personality in the form of a stained-glass window. When two solid panes of glass were broken, and then a large shard from one was surrounded by a bunch of smaller ones, mostly from the other. But was I right? Was the alicorn, abandoned on the Moon, so mind-dead, if I am beginning to have such questions?.. “Heck with it.” I slammed my reflection with a hoof, turning it into a murky, dark silhouette against the blue sky, sprawling with the circles in the water. Not the first or the second already. Huh, here it is... The fruit of the human-pony alliance... A peculiar one... Chuckling, I moved away from the lake. Not a bad analogy, m?.. ... “Oh, hello there! Horse apples...” Suddenly "said hello" to me from the cloud, to the edge of which I have just flown up in search of... I don't know what. Even more privacy than at the lake? Not even a sound from outside... And now it's occupied... And occupied by this damned person!.. “Came to gloat, didn't you?” Dash asked darkly, greeting me with a frown... which she hurried to get away as I stared back at her. Now... What’s now? Flying away? Talking? However, talking about what? She doesn't go after me - or from me - but lays sadly on a cloud, all her appearance expressing longing and not seeming to be in the mood for conflict? Hm... Did she have enough of war? “What are you staring at, scarecrow? Or you don't answer to mere mortals if they are not in thrall to you and don't admire you?” The pegasus chuckled provocatively. She picks fights. “Got carried away by the sight of it. “It's just the first time I see a pony that digs her own grave with such impressive persistence." I paused for a few more seconds and "condescended" to answer. “We’ll see who digs it!” Rainbow shouted. “You fly even worse than a cow! I'll scatter that cloud, and you’ll be in the ground until tonight!” “I do, but it’s still better than Scootaloo, which you've been teaching!” The painted one's words, suddenly, touched me. If you had been marinated on the Moon for my time, I would have been looking at your flying with interest Scumbag... “Don't you touch her, do you hear me?!” The pegasus rose. “I!...” “You just tossed her away!” I nailed Dash, shutting her mouth with my telekinesis mid-word. “Loyalty”! Aren't you too low for your Element, painted dummy?” “What is that to you?” She answered dully, suddenly deflated, and, turning away, settled back down on the cloud. “Scoot is my friend.” “Yeah, of course.” Rainbow chuckled with sorrow. “And Rarity is a friend, and Pinkie is a friend, and Princes Celestia is a friend... And all of them at once, for some reason, do not care, that you are an ancient villain, who dreams of taking away the Sun and taking over Equestria! Interesting, why? Maybe because you got into their heads and lied to beat the band? And soon all of Ponyville will be dancing at your behest! H-hay... It's okay, I'll bring you to light!” Poor idiot... “This is why Scootaloo says every meeting how great Rainbow Dash is and how she'll make peace with her soon... Stop looking for the black cat in the dark room, which isn't there.” “Make peace”, huh?” Another grin from the daring mare was more like a sob. “She told me straight out today, that she doesn't want to see me anymore!” “You should hit the other ponies by the lightning more often in front of everyone. Maybe you'd get the idea why it happened..." I muttered to myself, getting tired of standing and laying aside as well. Dash followed me out of the corner of her eye and snorted grimly, then stood up and jumped off the cloud, quickly turning into a dot. Nice talk. By the way, I haven't seen Scoot recently as well... Well, heck with the melancholy? Should I look for the kid?.. I'll just have to go to Fluttershy for dressing first, and then I can give it a shot... Yes, you know, I flew to a cloud to think in silence and solitude... However... Thinking about who I am now - is there much sense in it, really? I have not dissolved into the terror of loneliness on the Moon, nor have I perished in the flames on Earth, as I should have. I’m here and I’m alive. Kind of a big deal, right? 42. Deserved AdmirationAuthor's Note "Someone was afraid of it, someone was looking forward to it... And now this day has come." Original author's note. 42. Deserved Admiration I feel like I did back at the castle, standing on the windowsill and looking down. Damn it... Nah, it was probably even easier there. I sighed nervously and lowered my gaze to my chest, turned around to look at my back and my side... The blue and turquoise dress was tight around my body, flowing the hem down my back legs, glinting dimly with rhinestones in the dim light of the lamp backstage... Beautiful. Magical. On me. Yeah, it’s not the first time: there have already been fittings, and even a little test run with Rar... But now it's the time to go out in this to the crowd, humming somewhere in the front! And there was a sawing feeling in my soul, that the world would never be the same for me after that... Damn it! Hasn't she said at her bruise and that hole in the wall that, "no big deal, forget it"? Why didn't I listen to her, why? Ah, it became uncomfortable! And now it's comfortable, isn't? Should have found money and pay it away - and that’s all. And now?.. Think of me as a disabled one - I don’t have brains, damn it! I feel like... Like!... A-a... The mere phrase “my dress” already freaks me out... “Nightmare, your turn.” Spike poked me with his fist and, turning around, walked away, leaving me alone to suffer with my dress. “Hey, Nightmare...” The head of an orange pony with a naughty dark-pink mane suddenly peeked out from around the corner where the dragon had disappeared. “Don't worry, yep?.. And... Yeah...” Scoot, hesitating and shying, hastened to hide back. “Thanks, Scootie!” I answered with a little bit of nervous smile. I’ll try, there’s nowhere to run... With nervous awaiting, I turned to the scaffold's way - to the podium. It didn't last long, though, as the curtains slid to the sides and the blinding light of the spotlights came into my eyes, and my ears were filled with the muffled hum of the crowd, the music, and Pinkie's voice, ringing out over evening Ponyville. “Here-e it come-e-es!!! The first dress of this collection - “Sky blue evenings”!!! Mod-e-el... Nightmare-e Mo-on!!!” The light stops blinding. Heart pounded somewhere in the temples, throat was dry. My legs are growing weak... Get a grip! How did Rarity say that?... “Wings up, neck out”... Well... Stop, smaller pace! Hem! Shove that damn lump in the throat - I’m sick of it... Let’s go... With a wooden walking, I headed that way - towards the noise and the light. To the podium. To demonstrate the dress. And yeah, I should smile... Lips stretched into a wry, nervous grin. Without fangs! Or Rar would eat me alive right with my dress... The shoes thundered across the podium. Pinkie was speaking something inspirational into the microphone, the music was playing... and a thick silence over the crowd. Smile! Straighten your neck! Step more confident! Ban-bang, ban-bang, ban-bang... Swing tail. Turn to the left side. Put leg down. Bend the neck. Swallow the lump in the throat. Smile! Turn to the right side. Unfold the wings. Turn them back. Back, not fold them completely! Still the same dazed silence in the crowd. Round glassy eyes, dropped jaws. Heart is pounding frantically in ears, like it’s trying to get out. Throat seems to be stuck together, tongue is like sandpaper. Smile!!! Pinkie is inspirationally broadcasting something in the background of everything that's going on. Turn away. Swing tail. Twist the croup. Ban-bang, ban-bang, ban-bang... Rarity is going near the podium. Gnawing a hoof, looking at me without taking her eyes off. I'd like to have a hoof right now as well... I literally fell into the tent behind the stage, which was used as a dressing room: I could barely keep my legs. “N-nightmare, how are you?..” Fluttershy looked at me sympathetically. “Don't ask.” I wheezed out. “Water!” I drained the served glass. Oh, man... I've never had a cigarette in my life, but now I desperately wanted to smoke. If I had fingers, they would have been shaking... I feel like I'm committing complete insanity... Sweetie Belle, Fluttershy, and the spa sisters, Lotus and Aloe, silently and as quickly as possible pulled the dress off the bruised log - off me. And there's the new one, and the decorations to it... Rarity, who do you take after to be so creative, damn it? How will I survive eight such appearances?! Oh, speak of the devil and he is sure to appear... The unicorn, falling into the tent, wasn't in a better shape than me. “Rarity, how are you?” Spiked looked at her with sympathy. “Awful!” She panted. “Water!” She drained the served glass. “I!.. Oh... I didn't think that your appearance will shock everyone so hard... I’m worrying terribly! What if... What if this is a failure?!..” “D-don't be worried, Rarity!” The dragonfly stroked the soon-to-be-in-hysteria milliner on the side. “You have, ehm... Excellent dresses! Very... Delicious! Well, I mean, wonderful... Everyone will like them! Just, ehm - no offence, Nightmare! She's that kind of a model... Well...” “Better than you, kiddo.” I snapped weakly as a squad of mares led by, suddenly, Flutty played the “Formula One” team of technicians at the pit stop with me as the car. Took off the dress and jewelry, drenched the damp fur... “Oh, I!.. Yes. Thanks, Spikey!” She exhaled and smiled gratefully at the literally glowing dragon. “Let’s go to the next!.. Yeah... Don't forget to correct the make-up! It should be flawless!” She fit into the circle of “technicians”. The new dress: the cool fabric caresses my heated body with its touches. Close my eyes: I wouldn't have guessed Fluttershy to be a makeup virtuoso. Clicks of clips in my ears: heck with them - I don't want to pierce them! Quick, professional motions of hooves across my mane. I have to lie down, standing up only when a rare necessary occurs: it's hard to serve a standing alicorn... “Get up, Nighty! Did they wrinkle your dress? Turn around! Yeah... Okay, fine, I have to go! Don't forget to change your shoes! And don't forget to change your make-up at the fifth performance as well! Nightmare... Nicely done, you're doing great!” Designer smiled a little nervously and hurried out of the building. Okay... Great if it's great... Last changes. Spike glances expressively at the clock - it's time for the second exit. One minute and I'm standing in front of the closed curtain again, feeling my pulse quicken. Okay, well... The first time's not bad... I walk back and forth. The hem of my dress tickles my hind legs a bit. I adjust the pendant on my neck. Rar, goddammit, what did you mean with that openwork thing on the chest? No, it’s beautiful and stuff, but the suspension clings to it!” “Nightmare, your go!” Spike reminds. Get ready! And don't forget about the smile! ... When the?.. The last performance. The eighth dress. I corrected the hem: it's a little strange... or is it supposed to be that way?.. Silver with elements of deep blue; it looks more like an evening gown than a ball one - it's tight, flowing down in a weightless fabric... A beautiful dress. Crescent-shaped earrings, the pendant is in a full moon form, a silver tiara, and a horn ring as a decoration. The last makes me nervous a bit... The shoes, somewhat similar to mine, are from the armor. Metallic this time, not made of a cleverly crafted thick fabric like most of the previous ones. “Nightmare...” “Yep. I’m ready!” A smile appears on my face by itself. With fangs: no one cares anymore. Everyone admires. Me. Other people's fear can be entertaining, can be annoying... But this admiration!.. It’s!.. The curtains part, letting me under the beams of lights and projectors. Music rumbles, Pinkie announces another outfit... The applause booms out loud. Shouts of elation ring out. Strobe lights explode into the night with camera flashes. Yes! Adore me! Ironic, isn't, Luna? You're the one who's been dreaming of recognition! Of fame! Of admiring glances! But everything goes to me, Nightmare Moon! I pose spectacularly, with pleasure, noting new and new camera flashes. I will be admired! And you, Luna, will remain a nobody in your sister's shadow!!! My smile is full of absolute happiness. I’m turning from one side to the other, opening and folding my wings, and enjoying the stomp of applause. It was as if all these ponies have forgotten in an instant, that they are facing a terrible tale from the distant past, and now they are admiring and feast eyes on it. I notice, that the attention of some mortals is shifting away from me. Who?!... I look around angrily, squinting my eyes. Rarity. Stops beside me: the unicorn's eyes are shining with happiness. Relaxing, I smile: she's allowed to share this triumph with me! She's done a lot for it... and for me. “Thanks!” I sincerely thanked her in an ear, breaking through the rumble, clamor, and music. My friend gave me this jubilation! She deserves to bathe in their delight as well! “Thank to you, dear!” She almost shouted back and wiped away the joyful tears. “Night, Rarity! It was!... O-oh-h!!!” Pinkie Pie flew out from somewhere in the crowd right onto the podium in front of us. “I haven't seen such superbeautiest dresses for a long time! Nightmare, you are super-super-super-super matchless-supermatchless with these dresses!!! Rarity! This is... Oh! It’s superwonderful!” “Thanks, Pinkie!” Rar hugged her, not thinking about her hair. “Hugs!” Pinks answered eagerly. I shook my head with a smile and stared thoughtfully at my hooves. "Adore me?”.. The last three performances went on a kind of incomprehensible courage, I must admit... The stunned and enthusiastic eyes fixed on me, the jaws dropping, the applause until the hooves were crushed - this attention... was intoxicating. Now that everything has calmed down and the obsession was gone... It definitely wasn't mine, one hundred percent. I mean, it was mine, but... No, not really mine, but... ... Doesn't matter anyway. Right? In any case, I... “Nightmare, would... Would you mind talking a bit with the guests! Answering questions and...” The unicorn touched me shyly. “I’m not against it...” I answered a little bit slowly, getting back into the real world. Not against it. I’m tired of their fear. “Oh, this is absolutely wonderful! Thanks, Nightmare!” Rar thrived. “Nice!” Pinkie jumped on the spot in unison with the unicorn. “I just got two microphones!” The pony shook a pair of rather imposing plaques with clips, in the manner of lapel microphones, from her mane to her hoof, and promptly hooked them onto our dresses, on our chests. “Nightmare.” Rarity whispered as I leaned toward her at her sign. “I beg you: do without the chilling threats and your creepy jokes! Please! Don't scary everyone, I beg you very hard!” “I’ll try to.” Straightening, I mumbled with a sigh. I’ll try to. “Are you ready? Time to turn on!” Pinkie looked at us and waved her front leg theatrically as she stepped forward: “Ladies and gentlecolts! Don't be in a hurry to disperse - it's not over yet! Right now you have an incredibly incredible opportunity to have a wonderful conversation and speak out your questions for these magnificent ponies: Rarity and Nightmare Moon! I’m sure you have a lot of them today!” “And N-nightmare... Well..." The stallion in the front row twitched his ears uncertainly, looking at me with cautious interest. “Not “well”!” Pinkie shook her curly mane. “You all have seen that she's beautiful! Just don't ask her about the Moon and all this ancient past and everything would be alright! Well, let’s go! For the starters: Night, how do you feel about this spectacularly cool evening?” “Spectacularly.” I chuckled indefinably. “I haven't been in such a situation before.” “Did you like it?” “I did definitely...” Damn it!.. What's the point of being dishonest and lying to yourself, when you just naturally went crazy from what was going on?.. A-a.. “I'm... You know, I'm a little amazed at how quickly and smoothly Rarity organized everything." I tried to switch to something else. “The stage, the music, the commercials... It was as if everything has been prepared in advance and all she needed was my consent and the outfits." I winked at the unicorn, which became shy a bit. “Well, I had some experience about it...” She took the floor. “Not as impressive and more in the background, but still. And, of course, this great evening wouldn't have been possible without my friends, lending me a hoof of help! Applejack and the Apple family for helping me so much with the scene!..” “Ya welcome, sugarcube!” Applejack kindly chuckled from the first row. Wow, I just noticed her... “... You, Pinkie, for organizing and conducting everything beautifully!..” Rar emphasized a bow with a thankful smile. “Did you like-verylike it? It’s awesome! Happy to help!” The happy earthpony jumped on the spot. “...Lotus, Aloe, and Fluttershy, who were so helpful with the outfits! Spike and my sister, Sweetie Belle, who were so supportive about this whole initiative! And of course, Nightmare Moon, without whom this fashion fest wouldn't have happened! Honestly - I didn't think you'd agree, dear. It's hard to put into words what that means to me." The unicorn nodded appreciatively again, this time at me. “Yes... You're welcome...” I didn't find the answer for it. The sincere gratitude touched me. “And you all, Ponyville! Thank you for coming here today!” The milliner concluded by bowing to the crowd and shaking her mane in a spectacular way, accepting the applause with a joyful smile. “Thank you, Rarity! It was magical! And now I think Ponyville already wants to join our question and answer game, too!” With one last wink, the pink earthpony literally dove into the crowd. “And, for the starters!.. O! Nightmare, it seems your friends wants to say a few words! Let’s go!” “Ehm... No, I... I’d just, not...” The familiar voice hesitated. “Oh, don't be shy! Night would be happy to hear you!” Pinks cheered her up. "Of-f... Okay... Ehm, Nightmare... I just wanted to support you... Well, it was very beautiful and you were worried for nothing.” “Thank you, Scoot! You're the best!” I thanked the pegasus from the bottom of my heart, not holding back a smile. She's a desperate one. Doing such a thing for all the town to hear... Thanks, Scootie. “You are really best! Here, have a cake! It’s on the house! ...Oh, it’s nothing! My pleasure! Supporting friends is a very-very-very good thing! Welcome - Scootaloo!” I joined in the applause, rumbling my hooves across the stage and smiled again. It looks like someone else has got an unexpected moment of glory, too... Oh, Pinkie, well done!.. “We’re continu-u-uing!!! And his question will be asked by!.. O! O! By you! You're brave and you have a question!” A few chuckles of uncertainty swept through the already a bit hushed crowd. I and Rar smiled together. Let’s go. Fire away, hoofed one! “Ehm... Hello... I'd like to ask you a question that... is probably on everypony's mind: Nightmare Moon, will you... set an eternal night?..” The questioning pony almost whispered the last words, but the microphone faithfully did its job and delivered them to the entire square, an intense silence of which hung in the air. It seems that absolutely all eyes were crossed on me, such that it was even a little uncomfortable... “Well..." I pondered the wording. I cannot just spit it all out! “Eternal night is... it has never been an end in itself for me. But the pony, for which... it was needed, had demonstrated conclusively, that she did not deserve such an effort. So, in answer to the question: no, I won't. Personally, I simply don't need it.” The square became a little more alive, and the people exhaled with a relief. In some places I could hear the stomp of applause, and there was a shout of "Thank you!” I hid the smile with a tilt of my head. “Here... Yes, thank you." A mumble was audible from the speakers as the microphone went to the next speaker. “Nightmare Moon! I guess, in a way, continuing this topic... What do you think about Princess Celestia?” “The answer will definitely surprise you." I chuckled, rearranging my dress. “I think about her well. We have a very pleasant and warm relationship, and I hope that I will have the opportunity to visit her again soon.” The square supported my answer with brief applause and smiles. The tension was visibly reduced, the questions started to gain pace. “Nightmare! Do you really live with Rarity? What is your connection to her? Thank you!” I glanced at the snow-white unicorn, standing next to me. “Rarity is my close friend. And yes, she invited me to stay with her for a while, until... I guess I can get a place of my own.” I shook my wings uncertainly. “Stay as long as you like, sweetheart! You're always welcome." Rarity confessed to all of Ponyville into her microphone, giving me a warm smile. “Question to you, Rarity! Can I, yes?.. Good!” The questioner received a generous nod from the milliner from the stage. “How? Just: how?” How did you become such friends? Not with anyone, but with Nightmare Moon!” “Well..." Rar looked at me with a hesitant, thoughtful glance and lowered her eyes. “I'm sure many of you remember me, wandering around Ponyville in search of work, when I didn't have a cutie mark. Thank to everypony, which supported me in those times with words and actions! Being alone in the middle of a then strange town, not knowing where to go or who to turn to for help... It's hard. And who would help Nightmare Moon herself, who was in the same situation?.. When the thought suddenly occurred to me, I realized that I simply couldn't do nothing. And... And I made a friend. Sensitive, kind and...” “Rarity!” I hissed... For all the square to hear. Forgot about the microphone... Unsure short chuckles swept through the motley crowd. Damn it!.. “Sensitive, kind a bit shy friend!” Rar chuckled briefly at my hissing and finished her sentence. “She doesn't like cowardice, and it can be difficult to communicate with her, but... I'm sincerely happy, that I had the chance to meet her. Nighty... Thank you for everything!” The unicorn emphasized a slight bow to my side. “Yeah, thank you too... It’s...” I mumbled, shying... Forgetting about the microphone once again. Damn it... “Night is the best! We just have to get to know her better!” Pinkie drew a conclusion. “So let’s get back to the questions! A-and it would be-e... O! You!” “So, uh... Nightmare, do you have somepony... special? Rarity is a friend to you or... Or she means more?” I think the mare's voice sounded with a kind of undercurrent of hope from the speakers. Sick of it!... You have nothing to ask more, huh?... I’m gonna... I didn't have time to answer, getting a sensitive tug on my tail, and turning around grudgingly, I was confronted with... a very emotional look from Rarity. “Do not threaten her!” The unicorn's sapphire eyes gleamed eloquently from under her long lashes. “I’m, ehm...” I turned away and tried to formulate something appropriate. “I’m not... not ready to consider that kind of relationship yet, yes...” “But why?” What wasn't clear in my answer for you, scumb... “Please, do not take on this, dear.” Seizing initiative, Rar dishonestly tug my tail again. “Nightmare... For Nightmare it still takes time to get used to the way Equestria has changed over the years..." “...so I think I'll consider the question of any kind of intimate relationship later." I picked up on that, nodding appreciatively at my friend. “I don't think I'll take too long: I think fifty or seventy years will be enough for me to get used to it more or less." I tried to draw a spectacular line in the alicorn style, which earned me the rounded eyes of Rar and some of the guests, and even a really disappointed sigh from the crowd. It wasn't clear who did that... “Nightmare Moon! I'm sorry if my question seems indelicate... Frankly, your reputation is... um... incongruous with today's event, and it doesn't really fit in the head... Even Rarity didn't really believe it herself! So the question is still: why did you agree?” “Rarity has helped me a lot.” I moved my wings shyly. “I wanted to do something for her in return - that's all.” “Okay... Which of these dresses did you personally like best?” Pfft, yeah... If I'd have thought of questions and answers before the show, I would have categorically cut off this one: "None!" and now... It's still women's dresses - adjusted for anatomy. But the eyes fixed on me, the admiration! Damn it. I'm afraid I'm too much Nightmare Moon to answer in such a way... Unfortunately or fortunately? “The third one. And it wasn't just me who liked it, right? It clearly made a lasting impression on everyone!” The crowd cheered, discussing and applauding my choice. The first performance was, except for the music and Pinkie, in a deadly silence. By the second, the people have calmed down a bit and come to their senses, but most of them were clearly out of place. By the third, the dam has collapsed. The dress was off the hook, and Pinkie finally got the crowd going... The applause, timid at first, but spreading like wildfire, the looks, the enthusiastic shouts... It just made my head spin, filling me with a kind of excitement. My pace was no longer wooden, my smile was no longer forced, my dress was no longer a hated rag, restricting my movements. By the fourth, the wait backstage already seemed unbearably, unfairly long... “Miss Nightmare, forgive me for asking... But the whole town was talking about it, and I can't help myself: what really happened to the griffon, who is now being treated here? There's been all kinds of gossip... I have to figure it out for myself!” A cautious stroking of my leg, a pleading look from Rarity. What? A standard question, nothing new... “Don't “miss” me, okay?” I answered, chuckling. Seemed to try to be friendly, but the crowd somehow got quiet all at once. “About the question... Shall I tell you in all the unpleasant details or in brief?” “Ehm... It’s better to make story short...” “Well, long story short, Gilda made harm to my friends and has been... Punished for this.” Rarity clearly shivered. “Later I visited her and apologized for sending her to the hospital and helped in any way I could. All in all, we parted without any complaints against each other. It's long story short.” I have a hardened reputation... I smoothed out all the angles I could, but people were still visibly tense, and the possible positive end of the answer did not seem to help much. I felt a growing irritation: well, where is the rapture and adoration with which you showered me fifteen minutes ago?.. “Yeah... There was a rumor, that you were going to... kill Princess Luna." Some idiot decided to kill the atmosphere of festivities for good. A silence fell. Even the music seemed to fade and got lost in the background. A look of desperate pleading in Rarity's eyes flickered towards me. I've had enough. Who needed all the previous claptrap if you bastards are trying to move away from me unintentionally again? Where’s your adoration?! They don't care what I answer: they'll all remember just this question - and keep scattering and hiding, just like before! Losers! “Questions about my conflict with Luna must be addressed to Luna herself by all who wants answers!” I spit, hardly containing my annoyance, irritation, and some kind of powerless longing. “Something more? If there’s none, then...” “I don't know what she was up to." Applejack said in a ringing voice very close to me, perfectly audible in the almost dead silence. "But if I understood everything correctly, she has carried wounded Princess Luna out on her own back! That's what counts, and their quarrels are...” What? Applejack?! How?! How she?! I!.. I’m... I stood in an unsteady pose with my foot raised to step, feeling my thoughts rapidly evaporating from my head. Now the silence was really dead. Even the music has gone completely silent for real... “Nightmare... Is it true?..” Rarity whispered to the whole square, looking at me with a look full of hope and fear at the same time. “We-ell, yes... It just happened...” I mumbled with a loss, turning back to the crowd. For all the square to hear as well... “So I was right to tie the only one chain of traces to ya." In the farmer's voice, which was translated through the microphone, a distinctive smile could be felt. “Been there and I've seen Princess. She was in tough shape, she would have been lost without ya...” “Wohoo-o!” Pinkie burst out of the crowd and, without any shame, grabbed me in a hug, hanging around my neck. “Night! I knew you're awesome! Awesome, isn't she?” She raised her tone. Affirmative voices and nods went through the crowds... Someone started to stomp, and that was the rock, that started the avalanche. In the next second, the stage drowned in applause. “Oh!” The pink earthpony, who has just been stomping enthusiastically along with the crowd, panted with satisfaction, when the applauses began to die out. “I think the record in the gramophone has ended - we'll have to continue without music!” For some reason, the phrase, tossed for no reason at all, made me shake off the stupor, with which I have been looking at the crowd around the stage, and I smiled uncertainly. “Night, I'll just explode and fill everything around me with confetti if I don't ask about how it was like!” Pinkie jumped up again, vibrating in anticipation. “Can you tell us, right? Can you? Can you?!” “How it was...” I vaguely flapped my wing, trying to get my thoughts together in my rather now empty head. “For the details you can go to Luna. Yes, I got her out of the woods... Even though without much desire, honestly... I had to fight off a manticore on the way. You know, we’re lucky that its poison doesn't take alicorns off that easy...” I grinned wryly, studying the scene beneath my feet thoughtfully. “I barely remember my exit from the woods. I came to my senses in Canterlot, more or less.” I moved with my wing again. The crowd hummed, discussing. Someone applauded briefly, there was even a shout: “Thank you!” You're welcome... I just hope this kindness wouldn't back blast in the future... “It was very honorable, dear! I’m admired to the bottom of my soul! But why didn't you tell it earlier?” “Well... Hadn't reasons to.” I replied thoughtfully. “Nightmare, Rarity! Are you ready to continue the evening and our great game of questions and answers?” The Pinkie’s voice from the speakers interrupted the barely started dialog. And what?.. I looked around the crowd. Gazes: joyful, admiring, interested - they were looking at me. They waited my words. It was as if a wave had risen from within, washing away the uncertainty and fatigue, inviting me to stand on its crest again. “Let's go!” I smiled. Rarity nodded in agreement with a quick glance at me, standing nearby. “Great! No-ow... It’s your turn!” “Newspaper “The Ponyville farmer”! Hello!” Oh, I knew it - there are sharks of the quill! “We've already heard, that you and Princess Celestia are tied by friendly relationships. But have you met Princess Cadence? And, if you don't think it's unpleasant, can you tell us what the relationship is between you and Princess Luna?” Luna again, huh?.. “I've met Cadence. I was quite surprised." I chuckled, remembering our real, not demonstrative, acquaintance. “We didn't communicate much, but now, not without mutual pleasure, I suppose, we correspond. And I think my relationship with Luna, on the other side, has been beautifully described before me, with the issue of me trying to kill her. I don't see the point in adding anything on top of that.” “So there was some truth in that question?” With a sigh of doom, I glanced around the crowd, astonished to note the unfriendly glances cast by some of the ponies there, and some of them went somewhere in the direction of the one who asked. “You like walking at the edge... I’ll say nothing new to you! Any questions of such kind should be addressed right to Luna! That’s it! Pinkie, next question, please!” “Greetings! Persistent Discover, newspaper “The capital evening”!” Here we go... Press, and not even a local one! That's good! I couldn't hold a triumphant smile: it means, that soon Luna will see my triumph too! “Is it possible to expect to get your interview? Thank you!” A good question... “It is. Just make sure you pick someone who's not shy! And by the way, what brings a reporter from the capital publication here?” “We will pick him definitively! I was brought here by sheer sensation and a bit of luck to be in Ponyville right now! Rumors have gotten around, but our competitors haven't been enterprising enough to bother checking them out! And given that our publication, don't think of it as advertising, has already been privileged to interview Princesses Tselestia and Cadence, we couldn't afford to miss the opportunity to meet you now, Nightmare!” The pony grinned with obvious smugness. “Well, I think the raid paid off.” I chuckled in microphone in return. “Just make sure you don't misinterpret anything in the report on your joyfulness!” “How could I?!..” He became indignant. “Thank you again!” “You're welcome.” I nodded. “The next question!” “Nightmare Moon, could you tell please!..” 43. A Dark FutureAuthor's Note "A storm begins to grow..." Original author's note. 43. A Dark Future A nightmare again... Luna splashed water on her face one last time and shut off the flow of water from the faucet. The fluffy towel slid reluctantly over her fur, and Princess looked up tiredly in the mirror. Disheveled from sleep blue mane, a little bit damp fur is slightly tossed, deep shadows lay under the eyes, that are red from the sleeplessness and the recent tears. She wished she didn't sleep at all... or did not wake up. Princess sighed, put the towel back on, turned off the light crystal, and went back into her bedroom. Nothing worked. The dream realm has closed its gates to her. A thousand years ago, the spirits, who had feared her attention, who had nurtured fear in sleeping ponies and fed on them, now saw her as their prey. Finding vulnerabilities, they struck there, time after time, night after night... No wonder Nightmare, whom Luna had so carefully concealed her knowledge of the world of dreams from, had thought that it’s her, Luna's tricks. Nightmare, again... One and only, which Luna has killed by leaving her alone. Her... No, not daughter. Of course not a daughter! But the faithful comrade, who had tried her best to help and protect... She died there. Died because of her, because of Luna. The Elements of Harmony brought her back, restored what is still possible to. But how much of old Nightmare Moon is still left in the current one?.. Alicorn clenched her jaw as hard as she could, rolling her cheeks and practically hearing her teeth creak as she tried to hold back the tears, that were coming and trying to not cry again. She has made a lot of mistakes in her life, but only this one has dragged her down so relentlessly and robbed her of the will to live. Because anything could be fixed, except... except death. Pulling out her dressing table drawer, Princess took out a piece of paper with a sloppy pencil inscription in the corner from under the brushes, tassels, and jars of various cosmetics: “Loneliness: the death of the mind” Pencil, paper Nightmare Moon 1000Y from N.M.B., Ponyville. She resisted the inexplicable urge to turn the sheet over to meet her eyes with the... drawing on the other side, and returned it to its place. She has discovered this creepiness almost by accident, when her feet, for some reason, had brought her to the guest quarters, where she and the black alicorn have last met, thinking about Nightmare and everything, that have happened recently. Why she opened the door and entered - Luna did not know. A month ago, when she had just returned, they would have seemed rich and worthy, and if not deserving a queen, then a Princess for sure. Now... One room, no shower. More a place to comfortably wait for an audience during the day, by modern standards, than suitable for permanent residence. An old wing of the castle, not often used... Nevertheless, it's tidy. The bed was made up without a single crease, the window sill gleamed with still fresh paint, there was no dust...nowhere, except the small table beside the bed, on which a sheet of paper stood out. The tabletop was lightly brushed along the edge, but in the middle, including on the sheet itself, the alicorn's keen eye easily spotted a layer of dust. The servants were clearly careful not to touch the paper, which seemed to have been left behind by a past inhabitant of these chambers. A message for Tia? Or... for her, Luna? She glanced at the sloppy, cursive pencil lines in Nightmare's now somewhat familiar handwriting, understanding only a bit, and realized only seconds later, that she has seen such signatures on artwork in the gallery. But why was it a thousand years and from some “N.M.B”, if by current calculation it is one thousand two hundred and fifty-eighth from the Founding of Equestria?.. Then Luna just shrugged with her wings. And, for her own misfortune, turned the sheet over... Princess sighed and pushed the drawer into the table with a clatter. The "plot" of that drawing has been in her dreams almost every night since then. About Nightmare, slowly and terribly going mad, gradually losing herself... Dying in silence and loneliness. “Sorry...” Luna panted barely audibly, dashing away her tears. For what time already... And these nightmares... Let them torture her further. That's... the right thing to do. Serves her right! She deserves this torment completely! After taking a few quick deep breaths to calm herself down, Princess hurriedly walked away from the mirror to the window and switched her thoughts. What good does it do to grieve now for something that cannot be changed, no matter how much we might want to?.. In these nightmares, she was able to remember at least some details - experience has not gone away, after all - and these details were disturbing. Dreams about the terrible fate of the black alicorn, betrayed by her own... creator were full of details. As if... as if the Nightmare, that clung to her... has taken them from somewhere? Could it really have been her memories? Unfortunately, Luna could not say anything specific about the capabilities of these parasites. During her active practice they were not so... cocky and strong. Alas, but dream-walking, which few have ever attempted to study before, now seemed to have been completely forgotten, and these spirits, meeting no resistance, were eating away at a frightening level, which a few dreamers and she herself had been previously preventing... In such circumstances, passing her knowledge on, now almost a dead weight, to Nightmare Moon, who, as she believed, has acquired the part of the talent, that was responsible for dreaming, became not only and not so much a desire of Princess to redeem a tiny fraction of her guilt by this act, but her direct duty... “But if there’s even a way?..” She mumbled under her breath uncertainly. How to pass them on if Nightmare Moon spared not her... murderer, but only Luna's sister? If the first and only reply letter, written in pencil with disdain, contained nothing but wishes to get lost and never write or remind of her "insignificant existence" again?.. Princess sighed frantically, trying to chase away the coming tears. No! No more regrets! With her lips firmly pressed together, Luna turned away from the window and, turning her horn on, summoned the servants with a slight magical manipulation. Awakening from her slumber, she should dress herself as a Princess and devote time to a morning meal, not to torment herself with gloomy thoughts! And maybe then, once she is calm, she would be able to think of something... ... Princess Luna mechanically twisted the last flower from the morning bouquet in front of her eyes, that hasn't been eaten yet. The thoughts in her head were again all gloomy and joyless... The idea of how to attract Nightmare here in Canterlot has, in fact, come up - although it did not stem from joyful factors either. The black alicorn, as far as Princess could tell, treated her sister, Tia, well. Otherwise she would have come out of the woods that dark night alone and without additional weight... Then she gave up her armor without objection, even if in many ways it was just to spite her, Luna... Finally, Cadence has recently mentioned, that Nightmare was clearly worried about Celestia in her letters. The idea stems from the fact, that by telling the bitter alicorn, that Tia needed help, she could hope to get her to come - and then, maybe, they could have some way to talk... The main problem here was that by saying "Tia needs help," Luna would not lie at all. Celestia pretended everything was all right, dodging questions, smiling, laughing... And her little sister couldn't shake the tingling feeling in her teeth of falsehood in all this. Something was wrong! Her sister was clearly sleep-deprived, and in her chambers, Luna has somehow come across an empty bottle of the strongest wine and some pills, something she has never seen before during her visits. No wonder, considering that Tia was more than skeptical about alcohol! She has also been trying her best lately to pay attention to her, Luna. At first it was a joy: finally, we could just be together! Hug her, talk about something, drink tea together, take a walk in the garden, take her mind off the loss of abilities, bad dreams and heavy thoughts... However, the further it went, the stranger and more intrusive Tia's attention became, and it was beginning to worry. And sometimes, it even began to scare. Stopping the rotation of the flower, Princess brought it closer to her eyes, examining the bud and inhaling the pleasant, appetizing smell, reaching her nostrils. She chased the thoughts away, cursed herself for feeling some underlying resentment from her sister's increased attention, called herself a vague, ungrateful fool... And then Tia was suddenly angry at another reminder of Nightmare's invitation, which, like alcohol, Luna has not seen her sister does since her return to Equestria. A sincere and fervent apology followed, but... And then Cadence came in and complained in a low voice, that something was wrong with Celestia lately. And then the commander of her guards, at the weekly report to her Great Mother, gnashing her teeth and gleaming eyes, reported, that she has heard from the chattering Sun Guards, that no thestrals would be in the castle anytime soon... It would have been foolish to continue denying a reality, that was only at first glance calm and serene, but inwardly felt like a gathering storm cloud. “Why don't you trust Us with your worries, sister?..” The Princess of the Night said thoughtfully into space and, returning the flower into the vase, got up from the table: there’s a history lesson soon, then a modern law lesson, and after that - a visit to the opera with Tia, and until the evening, there would be a lot - a lot - of attention from her side... ... “...And Glitter Glory? She was just great as Starfall! Best performance in eighty years! And the production itself!.. Oh, pure delight! The play was marvelous, wasn't it, sister? And Ice Breeze in the role!..” Her sister's raptures, which have not faded since the end of the applauses, were distant to Luna. The Princess of the Night nodded and played along half-mechanically, her mind somewhere far away from the theater. Attempts to take advantage of Tia's good spirits and try to draw out what was going on with her just before the start were once again unsuccessful. Again she joked, shrugged it off, and immersed herself in the action on stage ... or just pretended to. “Luna? Is everything alright?” “Y-yes.” The junior Princess shivered, resurfacing into the real world. “Just... Worried about... About Cadence. Is she doing well? Our communication has become very rare since she became your assistant in the board. And when she does manage to find time to visit me, her appearance is usually depressing and disturbing...” “When I trained her, I expected her, given time, to replace me if necessary... Unfortunately, she still lacks experience and... wisdom. Admittedly, I thought her training would be more complete and finished, but unfortunately not all of my lessons, as it seems, have proved useful.” The words "I'm disappointed" did not come out, but hovered distinctly in the air above Celestia, a thoughtful frown glancing over the passersby and the streets of the capital from the chariot's height. “Perhaps, you've loaded her with more than a young Princess can carry?” Luna couldn't hold a tough phrase. She was having a hard time of it herself, of course, but has she even seen Cadence during evenings?.. And she, Luna, hasn't been much of use yet! No matter how she wanted to help... The junior alicorn shamefully bit her tongue and drooped. The laws, the principles of management and business relations, etiquette - everything has changed, and the Princess of the Night, alas, was still sadly far away from mastering all this to even a little bit of degree, and she's barely capable of even doing the easiest work. “May be.” Celestia panted dully. Luna's ears perked tensely, unable to find anything to say. The pause lingered, playing on her nerves with increasing nervousness. “I can see something is troubling you, Lu." Sweeping gaze upon the interlocutor, the senior sister shook her head, breaking the unbearable silence between them. “And I'm afraid I'll have to leave you alone for most of the day tomorrow, my little moonbeam." The big white wing gently enveloped the nervous Princess of the Night. “Please don't blame Cadence for her inexperience, which is why I have to do this again, but if I don't go to the coming meeting with... Delegates of big businesses - they will shake off a lot more from Equestria than is currently allowed.” “Don't blame Cadence”?.. Luna looked at her sister with a loss. No, there was a certain logic to what she said... A very strange logic. Tia, saying this?.. She couldn't believe, that she could say... Like that. “Y-you... send her to me, then. Let her, uh... brighten up my wait until you get back?” The unnaturalness of her own smile made Luna's cheekbones ache. “Okay.” Surprisingly and quite sincerely, Celestia smiled back. “I'll try to do it as soon as possible, so that you won't get bored with my niece's company.” The Princess of the Night nodded and hurried to look away: it seemed, that something slipped in the tired pink eyes of her sister with reddish, ripped capillaries inside. *** “Fine... Get back to your work, Midnight.” Luna nodded to the pony, which ended her morning report. “Yes, Great Mother!” The mare bowed, but instead of leaving, remained hesitantly crumpled in place. “Does something bother you, my captain?” “Forgive me, Great Mother! What do I say to the others?” Luna glanced thoughtfully at the standing at attention night earthpony - a rarity even rarer than the thestrals-unicorns. There were fewer than a dozen of unicorns in her entire Night Guard, that includes eight dozens of soldiers. There is only one earthpony, and she's had a hard time, fighting to go so far from the mountains, where her race's talents were so highly valued. Alas, Midnight seemed to be an excellent deputy and a good manager - but the position of commander, which forced to be at the forefront of everything, seemed to weigh on her. Dark Whisper, on the other hand... Luna sighed softly. No matter how thestrals assured her, the power of the Princess of the Night over them was not so great. It was enough to save the former captain from death - but no more. And, more importantly, from what death!.. She was to be executed for obeying her, Luna's, direct order!...and putting the Great Mother's life in danger by not sending a squad to protect her then in the woods. They all understood and agreed, but no one dared to break the ancient laws, not even if she asked them to! And, finally, Whisper herself didn't seem to quite agree with staying alive instead of a "deserved" death, which stained her honor and her wing's honor with disgrace... Alicorn sighed again, put her foot to her forehead, wanting to feel the metal coolness of her shoe. Fortunately, that situation is now mostly successfully resolved. Princess did not let the unfortunate mare be killed by a personal order, making her aide-de-camp and now communicating with the guards mostly through her. Attempts to look at her as an empty space quickly ended after the failure to execute the orders, transmitted through her, and a grandiose reprimand for ignoring them with the shameful dismissal and sending home of especially "distinguished” ones. No longer did they dare to ignore Dark Whisper, and now they gradually and cautiously, but began to communicate, "remembering", that she was their commander and friend to many of them. Princess took the shoe away from her forehead, smiled at her thoughts - then shuddered, finding, that she was not alone, but in the company of Midnight, still frozen in place. “What... What are you doing here?..” “What should I say to the others, Great Mother?” “About?.. Oh...” Princess remembered the purpose of her current commander's visit, blushing embarrassedly. “You should have called me instead of just waiting for Our attention...” “I did not dare to interrupt your thoughts, Great Mother.” The earthpony bowed shortly. “Fine...” Luna muttered inappropriately, rising from the table and turning to the window to hide the treacherous blush of embarrassment on her cheeks. “It should be said... There are already murmurs and gossip going around the troops. Truly, a sharp object cannot be concealed in a sack of linen... If there are any questions for you, I allow you to tell me as it is without concealment.” “But Great Mother... All the sworn wings are certainly loyal to you, but... Even in your guard there are ponies with... different views. Some of them can leave and swear to her!” “As far as I know, Nightmare Moon will not accept their service. And if she does, she's no less worthy of it than We are! Off you go, captain.” “Yes, Great Mother." The guard bowed, hesitating for a moment, and then left the Princess's office immediately, shutting the massive door quietly behind her. Princess exhaled, feeling her tension release, and, returning back to the table, with her gloom thoughtfulness, stopped to look at the front page of the latest issue of “The capital evening”, with a satisfied and slightly haughty smile, which showed Nightmare Moon's fangs. A fashion show - who would have thought... Luna wiggled her ears thoughtfully. Demonstrating all sorts of outfits and not even to the nobles? Yes, of course, Princess has heard many times - and even personally observed evidence of it - that manners have become simpler, class differences were insignificant, and nobility does not play the role it was a while ago... But it was still hard to comprehend. But Nightmare didn't seem to care. If the paper was to be believed, she came out to the huge crowd easily and calmly, answered questions confidently... And there were her friends nearby, who understood her, accepted her, and were trying to help and support her now. Luna, sighing, turned over the sheet. The front page with Nightmare in focus was replaced by a picture of her, standing on the stage in a gorgeous dress, side by side with a vaguely familiar unicorn. "Rarity (left) and Nightmare Moon give a press conference following the fashion show. Photographer: Nice Try”. Rarity... One of the Elements, yes... On one side, she wanted to be happy for her... for Nightmare. That she was doing well, had friends, and looked happy and satisfied on pictures. Nightmare Moon had nothing, but pain in her soul and terror in the eyes of those around her - and she managed to overcome this. That's why it was both bitter and resentful at the same time, that she, Luna, living in the castle, has achieved nothing of this sort. She sat inside the walls, cramming for etiquette, law, history, while healing her own wounds... She failed miserably at the conference - unlike the black alicorn, who seemed to feel absolutely comfortable with the questions... Maybe it's not a surprise to still see your servants and guards’ astonished and wary gazes in the castle and have no friends ... No, of course there were Cadence, Dark Whisper, some teachers and nobles, physicians and such, who were amiable enough to have a few good conversations, but... Sighing again, Princess stopped her gaze, that was wandering senselessly over the paper. “NM: “Eternal night is... it has never been an end in itself for me. But the pony, for which it was needed, had demonstrated conclusively, that she did not deserve such an effort.” A line caught an eye. Abruptly rising, the alicorn stepped back to the window, trying to control the storm in her soul. ... “I’m happy to see you, Cadence!” Luna grabbed the alicorn before she could even squeak in her embrace. “How are you?” “I’m happy to see you as well.” She smiled faintly in response. “I’m feeling an acute desire to escape from the castle to work as an orphanage educator somewhere in the provinces.” “Let’s go. Feel at home.” The Princess of the Night waved invitingly, humming to herself at her guest's response. “An orphanage educator”... “Saw you on the flight deck today. How did you do?” The guest asked her right on the move. “Wait a little bit.” The blue alicorn smiled. “I'll tell you about the flights and today's history exam over tea...” “O-oa-a-ah!..” Cadence moaned absolutely in a non-aristocratic way as she collapsed onto the cushions on the living room floor as soon as they entered. “Maybe coffee?” The mistress of the chambers barely held her laughter. “And... Don't you want to say hello first?” “What?.. Oops!!!” The pink Princess, who noticed, that they were not alone in the hall only after these words, was thrown from the cushions like a catapult. “Excuse my... My...” “Cadence, this is Dark Whisper, my adjutant and the closest assistant. I told you about her." Luna introduced the unnoticed by the friend thestral with a chuckle, that she couldn't hold this time. “Nice to meet yo-ou.” The alicorn nodded, crimson as a tomato. “Dark, this is my named niece, Her Excellency Princess Mi Amore Cadenza.” “I know her, Great Mother.” She nodded abruptly, glancing suspiciously at her guest. “Acquainted in absentia.” “You can just call me Cadence.” The Princess of love corrected almost simultaneously with her. “Well... Now that all the formalities have been taken care of... Who prefers what? From the drinks?” Desperately nervous about the slight pause, Luna still tried to be a good hostess. Today she was determined not only to discuss plans and problems, but also to try to make friends out of acquaintances. After all, even Nightmare has real friends... ... “Don't worry so much, Luna." Cadence looked sympathetically at the clearly distraught Princess of the Night. “Someday they will definitely get over old grudges and become our friends!” “Grudges...” The black alicorn chuckled sadly. If only this young mare knew how many lives were ruined by these "grudges"... And good thing she doesn't. And it wasn't just them. No matter how hard she tried, Luna could not break the ice between Cadence and Dark. Maybe it was because the thestral herself, despite random moments of revelation, tried to keep a distance - it seems she cannot imagine a friend relationship between herself and the Great Mother... Princess sighed softly, glancing at the bowl with apple juice in it, having more than a half of its capacity filled. The faithful helper was as inconspicuous as possible, looking suspiciously at Cadence and with pitiful perplexity at Luna, and was clearly out of place, when she worked up the courage and decided to ask permission to leave, citing business reasons. “It would be great if so." Said the dark alicorn quietly, breaking the pause. “Tea?” She noticed the empty bowl before her interlocutor. “No, thanks. I've already drunk more of it than I weigh, I think." She chuckled in reply, making Luna smile, too. “Honestly - I'd rather sleep than have tea." The Princess of love tiredly exhaled. “Is the burden of governance heavy?” Luna tensed, feeling her worry for her friend and her wish, that she wouldn't go anywhere. Not now... “Well, that's what I was trained for, I think." Cadence smiled faintly. “I understand how to act, what to do, but this responsibility... It's hard when so much depends on you. And it's even harder when something happens that doesn't depend on you." She finished with grim thoughtfulness. The Princess of love took a sip from the bowl, hiding a bitter chuckle behind it. It’s so familiar... For a while, only the ticking of the clock and the curtain, flapping in the draught, disturbed the silence. “Luna... Do You... Do you talk with your sister... What's the matter with her? She's been... almost scaring me lately." The young alicorn broke the silence, lowering her voice reflexively. Luna chuckled sadly again. She wanted to know... “I assume she doesn't say any more to me than she says to you. “Everything is fine, there is nothing to worry about”.” “But... But why?!..” “I don't wit.” The Princess of the Night shook her head gloomily. “And it is not only you, who are afraid of her appearance and her words in the recent times... Many things have happened to her in these days that in the days of yore We could not even think of!” “Princess...” Cadence pressed her ears against the head pitifully. “Can you be not so loud, please?..” “Sorry.” Frightened, Luna pressed her hoof to her lips. She almost switched to the Canterlot Voice in the heat of the moment... “Just... I’m worried. It's as if Tia is afraid to move away from me: she's always trying to be near me, spending time with me... I love her and would also like to be together more often, but... but not to make it seem like... obsessive mania!” She ended with emotions. “Maybe she needs some help?..” “She definitely does. I... In all the time I've spent with her side by side, I don't remember my sister ever consumed alcohol other than when tradition or good manners demanded it. She can't stand the taste or the intoxication that follows, with its obnubilation and loss of control over yourself! And then I noticed a bottle of strong wine and some pills of medicine in her bedroom..." With a sigh, Luna returned the empty bowl to the low table - she was twisting this bowl mechanically in front of her after taking her last sip. “Wine and pills...” The Princess of love rubbed her forehead thoughtfully. “A familiar combination.” “A familiar one?!..” “The recipe is widely known in narrow circles." Cadence chuckled sadly. “I've seen wine and pills on my aunt's bedroom dressing table before, about two decades ago, in the middle of my studies and mastering my alicorn abilities, when she was just very... worried about... Nightmare Moon's return." The pink alicorn glanced apologetically at her interlocutor. “In some combination, it, with pain and misery, helps to get a good night's sleep, if you are suddenly haunted by nightmares every night.” Luna pursed her lips. No, it didn't take much to guess that Tia was having nightmares, but every night? And the kind that made her have to get drunk in order to get "some" sleep?.. And the next second, a thought rushed into her head, making her freeze, staring into nothing. It seemed to be the same thing with Nightmare! The words of the black alicorn's accusations about the constant nightmares also came to mind. It had come to the point, where she had met her, Luna, hoping... for a fight... that she would not survive?.. And yet... Nightmare was angry, that she met no resistance from her, and then she tossed the glaive to her, offering to "make things right"!.. The glaive... How could Nightmare Moon understand such a gift as anything other than a challenge in that situation, knowing that Luna was a sleepwalker? "Do you dread my nightmares? Come and die in battle, if you don't want to surrender!” She needed another gift - but what, when the weapon she had once loved was the only thing that fully belonged to her, Luna, here in the changed world?... It doesn't matter now. What does matter, is that the nightmares had driven the unfortunate alicorn to the point of wanting to end them at all costs. “She saw me as the cause of these nightmares - and she came to fight it, not even hoping to win, but only wanting to... to end it?.. What was her despair?..” Luna spoke softly out loud, without even noticing it and making her companion wince in surprise. “And where might these nightmares lead Celestia to?..” “Do you think that everything can be so bad?..” Concerned Cadence carefully touched the frozen in thoughts interlocutor. “I’m alright.” She answered a little bit slowly and inappropriately, blinking and staring at the friend with an anxious gaze. “We have to help Celestia. It will only get worse, and ... I dread the end to which it is about to come. Answer me! Did Nightmare Moon mention in her messages the terrors of the night, that troubled her?” “No.” The guest's reflexively pressed ears made Luna wince with embarrassment. “She even mentioned, that she hasn't had any trouble sleeping lately... It’s you, who helped her, didn't you?” Luna rose to her feet with a sigh. She walked, feeling the nap of the carpet caressing the pads of her feet, and froze, looking somewhere through her own reflection in the mirror on the wall. Cadence followed her with a gaze, full of wary concern. “Alack, I didn't.” The Princess of the Night finally dropped the word. “I've been showed to feel the difference between skill and true talent, which I am no longer worthy of, and am therefore deprived of. Strength and knowledge are now insufficient to protect even myself from the horrors of the night... to the fullest extent." She finished, stumbling. The young Princess doesn't need to know, that the damned alicorn has not really even thought about defending herself... “Do you have nightmares, too?!” Cadence still clung to the words. “Now and then. But doesn't matter it now! The important thing is that Nightmare inherited talent of mine, as my sister and I thought. But... There’s no one, except me, to teach her that, even if she agrees to bring help to everyone. But I’m disgust to her to the bottom of her heorte...” Luna drew the line, drooping. “I tried to write about You... About you, really!” The Princess of love said. “But she just doesn't reply on this...” “And will not respond to my invitation to come here either. But maybe she will respond to yours?” Luna turned back to the guest with hope. “Is it mandatory? Well, I mean, you said yourself, that auntie seemed to shy away from the idea of inviting her here..." She fastened her speech in response to the blue alicorn's frown at her first words. “The same way sister will be in disgust if I go to Nightmare myself.” The Princess of the Night walked around the hall, whipping herself with her tail. "I know of no other way to teach other than in person, therefore it mōste be done as soon as possible.” “I'm sorry if I don't understand something." The pink pony also got to her feet, watching Luna, nervously pacing back and forth. "But... Maybe your worries are groundless? Yes, this time the nightmares clearly went further and lasted longer than I remembered then, but they can't last long enough to...” “They can!” The Princess of the Night turned to her friend sharply, stopping her pace. “I... I have a feeling that this nightmare will not leave itself. It torments my sister, finding the footprint of a mighty alicorn in the world of dreams, broken in spirit and therefore vulnerable to its insatiable tentacles... It has found Nightmare, and through dreams and memory it was able to reach Celestia by finding her imprint in the world of dreams. It will not leave so easily - it will continue to gorge, until We bring Our spirit to rest, as Nightmare managed, having met me...” “We bring?” Cadence narrowed her eyes, forcing Luna to bite her tongue belatedly. “Do you have the same degree of the problem?” “It doesn't matere!” “It does!” The Princess of love looked sternly up at her from below. “Don't mention it during asking Nightmare for help. You will only anger her.” Turning back, the junior alicorn grumbled. “And... I’m overcoming this. My skills are still with me...” “You just said you don't even have enough for yourself." Alicorn frowned. “I’ll think of something... Come to an agreement, maybe...” Cadence gave her friend, that was clearly hiding something, a long glance and shook her head incredulously. “For now it is necessary to help Celestia, and I see no other way, than to invite Nightmare Moon here and persuade her to accept my teachings to master her gift and our immaterial enemy to overcome. “ Luna hurried to summarize, before the conversation again went somewhere wrong. “And thou art the only hope in this. My sister will oppose it, and my words will only make Nightmare angry...” “I... I’ll think of how to persuade her. I promise.” ... Princess Luna walked wearily along the barely marked paths of the castle garden, accompanied by the crackling of insects, the whistling and trilling of birds, and the dense scents of flowers. Although the Sun was still on its throne, at the zenith, nature, as if anticipating the imminent sunset, has already reorganized itself for the evening mood: cicadas were ringing, which could not be heard during the day, and the flowers smelled especially long and sweet in the almost immovable windlessness, that reigned among the trees and bushes of the garden. Alas, the peace of this place, in search of which Princess has arrived, was now alien to her own soul, and despite the quiet comfort of the garden, something was still gnawing at her heart, forcing to press her lips together or whip her sides by her own tail in time with her thoughts now and then. The conversation with Cadence went well, her ability to persuade Nightmare to come and maybe even talk to her, Luna, was quite believable, but... What's next? The most minimal training, according to the initial estimates, would take at least three months. There was, however, one idea... But it implied a certain contact of minds, which required a great deal of trust, which Nightmare has none at all. Even if she agreed to learn at first, wouldn't a categorical refusal follow when she learned of the training methods?.. And then there was her sister, who has clearly seen things in her bad dreams, that made her reluctant to see Nightmare Moon in the castle, against even her own words earlier... It didn't seem like a serious problem for a few days - after all, Luna owned an entire self-sufficient wing of the castle, which, thanks to her guards, has very limited access - but she would have to hide her... guest for weeks, at least. And she would have to do this during daily and very long visits from Celestia, as well as the teachers of Luna herself, the doctors, who monitor her health, some servants... However, there was a shy hope, that the sister, put before fait accompli, could be persuaded... “Greetings, Your Highness. I... Could you give me a few minutes of your attention?” “Prince Blueblood?..” Luna shuddered at the sudden frowning voice behind her in the silence of the evening garden. “Greetings, Your Grace...” She said a crumpled hello, turning to the unicorn. Another pony, who has suffered because of her fault... She was even a little relieved, when the intrusive Prince stopped paying attention to her and pestering her with unpleasant questions until Cadence told her how he felt about her emotional confession. “How may I help you?” Princess said with a barely audible sigh, lowering her gaze. What, besides her words, could the unicorn, that respected her so much and was crushed by the bitter truth, want to discuss? “I want to know the truth! Why, Your Highness?!..” Blueblood, despite not rising his voice, was clearly not in control of his emotions. “Why did I oppose my sister?” Luna asked, still looking at the grass beneath her feet without seeing the Prince's uncertain nod. But she didn't need to - there was only one thing he could ask about. How out of time it is now... Should she say? “It's between me and her, Your Grace." - and he's out of the way... A seducing thought. Unfair one. An attempt to escape the responsibility. “You never gave a heck about anybody but yourself!” The bitter words from tonight's dream, thrown to her by the fake Nightmare, came to mind. The echo of what was read between the lines in the words of real Nightmare, who suffered so cruelly... Dead because of her, Luna, her selfishness, her, as it happened, avoidance of responsibility!.. No. She would not run again! “Egoism.” Princess looked up and spoke, when it started to seem to Blueblood, that she was not going to answer at all. “Celestia was drowning in work, and all I cared about was that I was lonely. That her work was more appreciated than mine. That her day was enjoyed more than my night, and...” “Blueblood, leave us, please. I want to be alone with my sister.” The unicorn and the alicorn shuddered at the sudden tone of the voice, from which a chill went down their spines, turning their heads towards risen Celestia on the porch as neither of them noticed her appearance. “Yes, auntie.” The Prince, frowning, replied almost through gritted teeth, and casted a gloomy glance at Luna, which blended so weirdly with his curly golden mane and large blue eyes, and reluctantly left the garden, walking past the older alicorn and carefully closing the door from the inside. “Explain yourself!” Luna demanded as her sister came down and approached her. “I can't see you dishing on yourself." Celestia nudged the younger alicorn with a wing as she walked past and stopped, stepping out of the shade of the trees and exposing her face to the Sun. “You have no reason to worry and be given to self-torture at all!” “Dishing on yourself...” Luna mumbled sadly as she glanced at Tia, and then, frowning, turned resolutely to follow her when the last phrase came out: “And whether I have reasons or not - let me decide for myself! And if I wished to reveal the truth about my miserable and lost life to a deceived and poor pony, then it is my decision! And it is not appropriate for you to interfere, especially in so rude and arrogant way!.. “ The Princess of the Night shamefully cut herself off as she realized, that she had suddenly snapped in the most pathetic way, even to herself, and instead of trying to make a remark only, she practically yelled at her sister. “I realize, that Blueblood's deceived, exalted imaginary figure is in some ways the result of my decision, and I'm sorry that he took it so personally, but it doesn't seem to me a good enough reason for such concern." Celestia said, finally turning around as Luna cursed her long tongue, ready to fall through the ground in shame. “My nephew should be able to cope with the frustrations of life on his own, without your sacrifices! Because I'd like to see my little sister happy and content with life, not constantly frowning and immersed in self-torturing thoughts." Celestia, turning around, smiled at despondent Luna, coming closer to her and stroking her mane. The smile, which for some reason suddenly seemed like a patronizing smirk, almost made Luna recoil. What things can be seen because of constant lack of sleep... The chill, that ran down her spine, was sobering, though, and it made her remember the reason for her breakdown, on which - even if sister’s words are disregarded - Tia reacted... so unexpected and strange. The words themselves ... What are these disgusting nightmares doing to her?.. “Happy?” The Princess of the Night sniffed, recoiling back. “There can be no place of joy for any normal pony, that bears the burden of as many mistakes, lies, blood, and betrayals as I do! And how can I find peace and joy otherwise than by atoning for my guilt, and making amends for what can still be made right?” “Luna!..” “... And if you really want to help me in this - do your word and call Nightmare Moon to your court, so that!..” “No!” The Canterlot voice practically knocked the air out of the younger Princess's chest, stopping her mid-word. Celestia, squinting eyes sternly, seemed to smell of heat. “And you should not raise your tone at me!” “As thou shouldest!” The Princess of the Night shook her mane stubbornly - almost angrily, getting rid of the blue strand, that has fallen out of her disheveled hair and trying to get rid of the ringing in her ears at the same time. “Explain yourself now, and don't try to dodge it: what is the very good reason why Nightmare Moon has no place in the town of yours?” “She's dangerous, Luna! And first of all for you! Or do you really think she'll calm down and you won't be in any more danger?!” Celestia spoke quietly, frozen in a tense pose and drilling her younger sister with a heavy, tired look from under her brows. “You spoke differently about her earlier!” The Princess of the Night lowered her voice reflexively as well. “Earlier I've never had to mourn my sister's death, never expecting to see her alive in the morning! Luna, I...” The snowy alicorn paused, staring down at her feet in somber thoughtfulness. “No. No, and I don't want to hear anything about Nightmare! My unreserved mercy nearly cost you your life once, and it won't happen again! No one dares to take you away from me!” Steel glared in the raised stare towards the younger Princess. “Then I’ll invite her myself.” Luna dropped gloomily, passing by sister to the entrance. There's nothing more to talk about. “You can’t!..” Tia gasped in indignation as she turned around to see her. “I forbid you to do this!” This is how it goes, huh?.. “Wasn't it you, who assured me in this very garden a little over a month ago, that I could do anything here, even demand your throne, so that I could rule myself? So that was only a sweet geligre, wasn't it?..” The Princess of the Night’s voice rang like a string, ready to break, her eyes shined suspiciously. “But!.. “I...” Celestia, frowning for a moment as she remembered, clamped her ears in fright as the right memory finally came to mind. “Wait!...” “I am still your equal and can do what I think necessary without your permission, even if your promises are false!” The Princess of the Night turned around as she opened the door. “And if you think you have the right to frighten me with bans and lie to my face, I forbid you to come into my chambers, and I do not wish to communicate with you from now on, until I hear your apologies!” Without waiting for a reaction, Luna turned away and hurriedly crossed the threshold and slammed the doors. The sigh, that escaped from her chest into the cool air of the high castle corridor after a few endless seconds was more like a sob: the outburst of anger was fading rapidly, replaced by shame and anger at herself. Yes, her sister is guilty before her, but... But did it really have to be that way?.. “Stars!.. What have I done?..” Hurriedly brushing the moisture from her eyelashes, Luna, slipping on the polished marble floor, practically ran to her chambers. ...And on the other side of the door, slumped limply on the grass, Celestia was silently swallowing her tears, and despite all her efforts and desperate attempts to always be there for her, she - her sister - has just chosen the company of a monster... into hooves of which she pushed her by her own doings. 44. A Holiday is Coming To UsAuthor's Note "It's good when you have friends!" Original author's note. Estral cycle - the ponies' analog of the menstrual cycle. 44. A Holiday is Coming To Us The white substance, which I crumpled thoughtfully in my hooves, was springing up in an interesting way, gradually forming into... something. I don't know.. I didn't have a lot of ideas - I just decided not to get in someone's way as an unsettled shadow, but to get away as far as I can and maybe experiment... Why not try sculpting from the cloud I’m sitting on? However, this somewhat meditative process did not interfere with my thoughts and memories at all. A little more than a week has passed since the fashion show, and so many things have changed... Yes... The show, as they say, "skyrocketed". Poor Rar has been living almost on energy drinks since its end: now she has orders for a couple of months ahead... But if I do not drag her away from the sewing machine and do not transport my friend, which says something in an absolute indignation, to the kitchen for food, she probably would have been dead already. But in general, everyone participated as much as they could. Spike and Sweetie took care of the market and shopping, Fluttershy and I cooked, Applejack and Pinkie brought the already cooked food from home... The other ponies helped with the small stuff, too. Generally, everyone, who had at least a little bit of indifference, was trying to help with anything they could to the literally over-sewing Ice Cream. My result from the show was that I had a collection of my own fashionable dresses, including eight pieces, and my purse began to gradually fill up at the expense of the percentage from sales. Well, I've paid off my debt for the house I blew up in one day... I've also gained some fans. Well - fans?.. They basically stopped to go round me by arcs and greeted me in the streets; there were far more studying and interested glances, and far fewer nervous, tense, and frightened ones. The shopkeepers in the stores and the market stopped trembling and scattering as well... No wonder, I guess: all the local Ponyville papers still had my patronizingly smiling face on the front page. There have already been requests for exclusive interviews from various - so far, mostly local - publications: apparently, many liked the idea of that guy from the capital with a funny accent. I was in no hurry to agree. First of all, where were you before, living with me in the same urban-type settlement with not that big size at all? This guy from the capital came here just because of gossips and rumors! He’ll have all the cards for now, and you can pass by afterwards, when the right mood comes... Second of all, I was a bit busy, so even with Discovery, who came to see me three days later with an anticipatory fire in his tenacious yellow-green eyes and with a ready contract from his publication, we basically only "agreed to make arrangements" and limited ourselves to a framework agreement "sometime in the next couple of months". Besides helping Rar, I was busy making jewelry and sculptures to make Flutty happy. How cute she is, after all! And how she will blush, squeak and fight back when I would make a full-fledged version, not this clumsy props! I have been shining with my horn and gritting with my neck - even had to dive into the lunar memories a few times! But damn it, it was worth it! Flutty, when she's shy and panicking at the same time - man, it's unbelievable by its cuteness sight! And I look forward to seeing it again once I'm more familiar with the magic! The thought of a gift for Fluttershy has been a bit on the back burner lately, but I haven't forgotten about it. As soon as the fashion festival was over and I had some free time, I got to work. I walked to the foothills and got some sturdy stone, bought an old rusty coal iron for cheap from a junk man, grudgingly searched my memory for the topic about shield - alas, I never got the hang of it, had to go with a thick tempered glass as a shield - and rolled up my sleeves. I spent a week sculpting, until it came out so that it would not be embarrassing. I had to find some more rocks, from the metal things - iron had died, a pile of rusty horseshoes, some incomprehensible scrap metal... and on the fifth day, Eagle Eye noticed, that there was no wall in the prison. Idiot... I spent four days converting metal, but I had a lot of money in my wallet at the same time. Then I spent some time to figure out how to break the spell on the coins, and I ended up with a decent pile of usable gold. Melt and apply... Yeah... When a month - or already two? - ago, when I tried to do it for the first time, building a mini-Stonehenge on the shore of the lake - I almost got stuck on the most primitive things. But now I could feel that my magical health was gradually returning to normal. However, I personally had no great and well mastered experience with little things, so that "hairpin in the form of a leaf" came out as a big shiny thingy, weighing about three hundred or four hundred grams. Good hairpin! Reliable, big, beautiful! The main thing is not to drop it on the foot... In general, I paid the jeweler extra money and exchanged this "most curious installation" for a normal, professionally made hairpin, which had been made for a day. At the same time, I couldn't resist creating a statue of Fluttershy. It was in the best to put on a shelf, a little crooked - my own personal experience, despite my best efforts, was not enough - but still quite recognizable and, most importantly, quite generously gilded. And with a bow, I handed it over to the pegasus, who then, squawking, shyly fought back until I left... I laughed, remembering the unforgettable expression on the face of the pony, to which I gave the gift. I did not want to, but she just did not leave a choice with her cuteness: I’m going to build a statue of her in the middle of the town! Just to look at the reaction! And in the midst of all this motion there was another significant event straight from the canon, which, thanks to my humble person, went smoothly and therefore - unnoticed: in the town, with her faithful van, arrived the Great and Powerful Tr-rixie! Found a window - since it was evening - and went everyone else to watch it. And damn it, the magician knows her business very well! I was familiar with most of the tricks from my previous life, but I wasn't bored anyway. But still, she was accepted like... without a flame. It did not hold up against the just thundered and still hotly discussed and remembered fashion show in the public perception. The unicorn worked her program with concentration and professionalism, with an “A” as her mark. I liked her performance, didn't expect that. She can - and what she can! I even put a few coins aside in my mind for this case. The traditional self-congratulations and humiliating "duels", which the goat-like self-confident little pony liked to show off, evaporated from her head along with her self-confidence at the same moment, as soon as someone - either thin or round from the pair of foals circling next to me - asked after her assurances of victory if the Great and Powerful could defeat someone more substantial. With an alicorn, for instance... The trickster answered affirmatively, turning her head towards the voice... where she stumbled upon my figure. With my wings spread for the situation, lest me be mistaken for some unicorn. Man, in all my life I've probably never seen such an "Oh, fu..!" look on someone's face as on the poor storyteller's at that moment! It took a lot of effort not to burst into laughter, but I made it. I smiled from ear to ear. Trixie swallowed, muttering something like "Nah, alicorns? You found the worst to compare a mere pony with.” Wiped away the cold sweat - and hastened to wrap up her performance with fireworks. And that’s all folks. Bowing and getting the fairly earned coins, the magician disappeared from Ponyville in the morning without making fun of anyone or quarreling with Twilight and the town. She would not get the alicorn amulet as well now: why does she need it?.. And also... “Howdy, Night!!!” I was suddenly pulled out of my thoughts by an enthusiastic, familiar voice. What?.. I stared dumbly at the figure in my hooves, carved from a piece of cloud. At the cloud itself. I turned my gaze to the speaker - Pinkie waved back amiably. Wait... Only after a few seconds (Pinkie kept smiling and waving the whole time) my brain finally switched on, and I noticed a sheaf of white, blue, and blue balloons above the unexpected guest. My brain turned back off, I shook my mane, set the figure aside, rubbed my eyes, sighed. How much longer will I have to get used to the twists and turns of this world, huh?.. It seems normal, serious, but then you see something, that turns you off for a few seconds... But the fact that I, a two and a half meters tall from hooves to the end of the horn horse, that weighs not-so-light more than a forth of a tonne, lie on a cloud of water vapor hundreds meters above the ground is already normal, yes?.. “Hi, Pinks.” I replied, drawing the line for my thoughts by chuckling under my breath. “Phew, finally! I’m tired of waving already!” The pony dashed away the fake sweat from the forehead. “I've been-been thinking, and then I understood, that I don't know! And these things cannot be unknown, right? So I rushed to find you, to find out! We’re friends! And to not know these things is even more forbidden than just forbidden!..” “Cool down, Pinkie.” I asked wistfully, momentarily lost in the crackle of the almost vibrating pastry chef. “What happened?..” “I’m asking you: when is your birthday!” She screamed. “What if it’s tomorrow, and I'm not ready?! What if it already passed, and I didn't know and didn't congratulate you?!..” My birthday, nice joke... I chuckled with sadness, turning away. The human one has been wiped out from my memory. Nightmare had not appeared at once, and the very first memories were very vague and incomplete, consisting mainly of emotions and images... And what birthday can a tool have? I remembered my very out of place analogy about myself and Luna. “I don't have any birthday.” I waved away in answer gloomily. “But you can look for a nameplate somewhere on me with the date of manufacture, useful life and method of disposal of the product after the expiration of that.” My mood sank all at once, and I suddenly didn't want to talk. The Element of Laughter, God damn it... Whenever we meet, it suddenly becomes absolutely not funny... “You don't read the Luna's letters, do you?” Absolutely surprising question sounded quietly. “Why should I?” I mechanically rubbed the cloudy figure under my feet back into the cloud, watching with melancholy as it disappeared, blending in with the general mass. "So, I'm piling it up, without even a reason. Burning it is just... Awkward, I guess.” I chuckled at the absurdity of what I just said. Stupid? Stupid. But... What a bullshit... “If Princess didn't care about you, would she write them without even getting a response?” as if rhetorically, Pinkie asked in a very serious tone. “So - no need to make up any tools! You're a normal, beautiful, wonderful pony, who should definitely have a birthday!” She drew the conclusion by cheering back up sharply. “I don't remember, really...” I mumbled, struggling with the silly thoughts, that Pinkie might be right about Luna... “Well, then I can come up with it myself, okay? Okay? Silence means consent! Yeah! Thanks!” The pony, which was hanging on the balloons, clip-clopped its front hooves before I could get a word in edgewise. “What about the day you came back from the Moon? No, that wasn't you there... Then the day we met face to face in the Castle of the Two Sisters? Oh, it’s probably not a pleasure to remember for you, isn't?.. Then maybe the next day you woke up in Canterlot, when you was a Princess Celestia’s guest?.." “Hold your horses!” I sighed, tugging the pastry chef by the tail with my magic. Her unrestrained enthusiasm makes me nervous sometimes... “Let me think.” “Oki-doki-loki! I'll let you!” Pinks smiled, dashing her smile away by a gesture as if she was zipping her mouth. The balloons gleamed with agreement in the Sun on their rubber sides. Pinkie... I shook my head. But not about her now. About the birthday... I had no memory of dates from the past to which I could attach it. Now... what could be more logical, really, than inscribing my birthday on the date I came into the world? Empress of the Eternal Night, born on the longest day of the year... I chuckled. And not much happy had happened to me that day, not to begin with the fact that I was killed. And on the other hand... It is not pleasant for a child to be born: it was warm, dark and nourishing, but now it is cold, bright and they slap your ass. Doesn't make for the happiest memory, heh... “What's the shortest day in the year do you have?” Pinks shook her mane wordlessly. Well, I thought so. We have the longest one because it's a tradition and a holiday, and the rest are as Tia likes. If she oversleeps, it will be the shortest, if she doesn't, it won't... Okay... What about the date? Twentieth? Twenty first? Twenty second? Or when the?.. Ah, I don't give a heck, actually. I don't see any other date that fits. “You got me. Sign it on on the solstice day." I waved my front foot with a chuckle. “Nice! Thanks! I have to tell everyone right away!” Pinkie pulled one balloon from her "bouquet" and handed it to me, then waved her hoof and raced off to the ground, leaving me to sit in prostration with the balloon, floating by my side, taken purely by a reflex. “Smile!” It turned that inscription to me in a gust of wind. I smiled against my will. A purple one... Strange, she did not have these in her kit. And how did she even hang in place without rising further?.. “Pinkie...” I mumbled and, shaking head, rose to the feet, clinging the string of the balloon to the bags and stepped off the cloud. *** “... It can’t be!” “I'm sorry, but even if I knew something, it's far from certain that... I could tell you something!” I walked back and forth, whipping my side with the tail. Twilight watched at me with gloomy alertness. She doesn't know, yeah, of course... She keeps on watching, even unobtrusively starting to be successful in it, stamping reports to the highest ranks, getting new tasks, and she doesn't know a thing, not even a little bit! Yeah. And your gaze on me is getting heavier and more suspicious every day on its own, too. It reacts to the weather. There's something very wrong with all this... Tia hasn't replied to any of my letters. Wish she'd let me know what is wrong with at least one line! And then there was the occasional worry in Cadence's letters when it came to her... Damn it! Celestia keeps dead silence, her student looks at me like a wolf, Cadence chooses her words carefully, when she talks about her aunt, and I just sit here, having no control over anything. And can't understand anything. I can't anything! Abyss! “Are there still no letters for me either?” “What if?..” “No.” You can literally read in Twilight's eyes: “Get the hell out already!” “Fine.” I, stopping my rush half-step, sighed. “That's something at least...” Twi looked at me with a frown. “I will not interfere with my work. Say hi from me to Princess.” The door slammed shut, almost pinching my tail as I crossed the threshold of the library. The wind was a dense pillow in my face, and it blew my mane away, killing Sweetie's efforts to make her look decent this morning. Yeah, it's uncomfortable today... On Earth I'd say: “There will be a thunderstorm”. Maybe it will be?.. Damn, I didn't check the weather report in the paper this morning. Where do I go now? Rar, when she woke up, suddenly started cleaning the house, flatly refusing my help and almost directly sent me out for a walk, so that return to "Carousel" probably makes no sense, I guess. Should I stop by Pinkie's? Bite some cakes, talk a little... I'd have been mad at her yesterday if she hadn't managed to fill my head with all sorts of... nonsense about Luna. Just came out of nowhere, damn it: “Don't think of yourself as a tool!” I'll figure out who's who myself! I understand - she wants to help, but if not her words about... “Hey, Nightmare.” The mare's voice, with its distinctive huskiness, made me turn around in surprise. I stared silently at the person who has interrupted my thoughts, trying to understand what she suddenly wanted from me. “Hey, yeah.” She grinned nervously and rubbed the back of her head, rumpling her disheveled mane even more. “I just... Wanted to talk.” And here's the question - why, ay?.. “Well, talk.” I moved my wing indefinably. I feel it in my guts - she's preparing some dirty things! Why would she... “I... Whew, rotten h-hay... I... Well... I wanted to apologize!” What?.. You? Before me? I rubbed my forehead in light prostration. Blinked. The sad image of Rainbow Dash, trying to look anywhere but at me, didn't go anywhere. “Don't pretend you didn't hear me, trying to force me to say it again!” She ruffled her feathers in response to the lingering silence. “Well, at least you look like yourself now," I grinned back, getting back into the reality. “And why am I so honored today?” “Shut up, would ya?” She asked glumly, giving me another chuckle. “I’m already sick of it! Yeah, I kind of screwed up and everything... I couldn't help it - and it was, you know, stupid and... and wrong and... A-argh! Horses’ apples, why is it that hard?!..” Dash kicked her hoof irritably. “The heck are you smiling at?! It’s you who made me angry, you know?!..” I clenched my teeth and suppressed a laugh, bursting out of my throat and hid a chuckle by tilting my head. Damn, these awesome “apologizes” - just bring it to the House of Weights and Measures!.. “What are you laughing at, black scarecrow?” Dash became angry - she heard the sobs of my carefully hidden laughter, glaring angrily with her ruby eyes. “Happy, yeah?! Got what you need?! Choke with these apologizes!” “Do you know what your problem is, painted girl?” Ending laughter, I asked with a thoughtful and phlegmatic bit of laziness. “You think I’m hostile towards you. But in reality I don't even care what do you think of me. If you want to fight - well, off you go, you will be the one to blame when a problem occurs. If you want to apologize and start everything over - you can try, I’m not against it. In a particularly sentimental state of mind today, I'm quite prepared to forgive you even an attempted murder." “Murder?!.. Ehm, you are... What?.. What are you talking about?..” Rainbow staggered back, raising her eyes to me, her eyes rounded in shock. “I?!.. No, I admit - I've crossed the line with the bolt, but I would never!... No-no-no, what are!.. I wouldn't!..” “You took out me, an alicorn. For a few seconds, but still.” I reminded, looking at the shocked pegasus harshly. “What if you did it with a unicorn, for example?..” “But you're not a unicorn!” She tried to clear herself. “And you didn't give Gilda a relaxing massage either, if I remember correctly! She said you would have beaten her... To death, if Flutty hadn't...” “Yeah, it was an overkill.” I cringed. “But we've made peace.” “Hah, I've had an overkill, too!” Suddenly, Dash gave a short chuckle nervously. “So... Are we going to bury the hatchet or what?..” “As I already said - I’m not against it.” I brushed my mane, which was blown away by a gust of wind onto my eyes, and, making an inviting gesture, walked leisurely down the road, just to not stand in one place. Rainbow joined up, hesitating. “But after "You're fooling everybody, I'm going to expose you!" it seems strange for some reason.” “Don't think I’ll take my words back!” She looked at me provocatively. “I just, ehm... I was persuaded to give you a chance and to make sure that you're not such a bogey for real, but I’ll keep an eye on you, got it?” “And you apologized to give me a chance.” “Yes!.. I mean... Hey!” Dash got up indignantly. “It is not related at all! I just... Just thought I did some bad things and... Argh, why should I have to justify myself to you?!” “Well, if you don't want to - don’t do.” I shrugged with my wings. “Are you good with Scoot?” The pegasus drooped instantly and became somewhat dull. “No, heck no, we're not good!” She swung in a long stride and kicked a fluffy dandelion, growing by the roadside with feelings, leaving a lone stalk, sticking out in a scattering cloud of fluff. “I was looked at by half the town after that day as... a worse villain than you, just for your information! Even Twi, though she can't stand you, screwed my ears about how wrong it was and that I should apologize! And here you are with your accusations about loyalty!.. Hay, why?!.. Horse apples... Scoot's like my sister! She didn't really have anybody but me and a couple of ponies, which cared about her - do we really have to mention that drunken snot her father turned into after her mother died? And now she's told me straight out, that she doesn't want to see me until I make peace with you...” I see it now... “Damn it! I don't know how to apologize, I really don't!” The pegasus' voice took on some desperate, pitiful tones. “Listen, I’m really sorry about the crap I've made! I hit you with all my force just to... Just to get the anger out, I guess... Just like that, in the middle of the street, as... as... Ah, screw it! I’m an idiot, I really am! Sorry!..” “You know... I'm no better at apologizing than you are, but Celestia has forgiven me far more serious and complicated things...” A gloomy weather with a strong gusty wind, that shook my mane, the measured clatter of hooves on a deserted road somewhere on the outskirts of town, with a poor daredevil, who had found troubles... For some reason it all drew me to revelations. “So... Why don't I give you a chance?” I paused, turned to the pegasus, and held out my hoof. “Really?” Dash looked at me suspiciously, swinging her wing to shield herself from the force of the wind. “Cannot be more real.” I replied with a chuckle. “Finally! Thanks!” She enthusiastically clank it with hers. “Hey, just don't think I’m not seriously or whatever!.. Just... Well, I really have made some stupidities, I’m sorry and stuff...” The mare waved her wings nervously. “I believe you for some reason.” I moved down the road again, moving my wing indefinably. “Just don't think of doing it again. And if you try to use that apology of yours to stab me in the back...” “You know, I thought about what you said about loyalty!” Rainbow threw an indignant look at me. "That's why I came. So in the back - definitely not. But do not think that the warning would give you time to prepare!” ... I was returning home in the evening, limping on my unfortunate during a landing leg, which was already almost fine. "Home," heh... To “Carousel”. The mood after meeting Dash was to do something a little crazy. I stood there, squinting, facing the blows of the wind and, as always in this weather, regretting, that I didn't have a fancy raincoat to flutter behind me, making me look epic and heroic. I spread my wings - I have a hell of a look even without it!.. The wind willingly walked over them, gently ruffling my oddly shaped feathers, as if inviting me to get off the ground and try to fight it up there in the air. And I didn't want to refuse it. The flight was exhausting, every second I had to fight to continue it, but this fight with the nature was incredibly satisfying. The flight played with new colors, my own small successes in it inflamed the heat somewhere inside, making my lips spread in a smile by themselves. A few times I almost fell, flying really low, but, most importantly, I made it! Only the landing itself was a bit tough, though, because I hadn't grouped my legs properly when I tried to regain my balance after an unsuccessful turn, and all the impact has struck one leg. And then I was lying on the grass, spreading my humming wings on its cool blanket and smiling like a child, looking up into a cloudless sky, and I think I've been in such a state for hours... Yes... I haven't been this happy from flying for a long time, like something struck me today for this. And I had no usual thoughts today either: all those mental thoughts of "ye-ep, correct the roll", "make a turn, gently", "group up, brake off!" disappeared today into this endless sky, leaving me alone with the the skies and with flying. I just flew and enjoyed it. For the first time, I think... The pleasant memories captured me so much, that I didn't even immediately notice, that it was suspiciously dark and quite around me as I opened the door as usual and stepped over the threshold of the boutique. I even froze for a moment, coming back to reality and slowly trying to understand why there was only darkness around, like in a basement at night, even for my all-weather all-seeing eyes, with which I had no difficulty even in the woods in the middle of the night... It took about a second for my brain to finally analyze the situation. I’ll be shot at right now! Will be by confetti cannon fire and loud yelling from all sides, suddenly turning on the lights! Damn it, retreat!!! “Surpri-i-ise!” The chorus of voices around me grew louder and louder, almost chanting in time with the smoothly glowing lights, and I barely had time to formulate a panicked thought. “Welcome to Ponyville, Nightmare Moon!” Pinkie appeared in front of me, her straight pink mane waving spectacularly. Her voice was supported by a few more cheers, and some people clapped, quickly creating a round of applause. Under the ceiling, above the multicolored crowd of ponies, a banner with oversized letters could be read: "Welcome to Ponyville, Nightmare Moon!" and here and there were clusters of balloons, going up to the ceiling, of "my" colors: black, turquoise, and silver, shades of purple and blue. Right across the sales floor were tables, bursting with treats, on which the elongated, angular reflections of light from the disco ball under the ceiling wandered thoughtfully. Someone put on a record - and the music complemented the composition... Damn, that's... Holy cow... I was not allowed to stand still and watch: a frozen brief moment shattered like glass, and everything spun somewhat like at once. I barely had time to respond to greetings. There was a cheerful, festive noise and commotion all around me. “Hello again, Nightmare!” The cause of all this chaos suddenly materialized in front of me, waving her mane spectacularly again. “Of course, it's a little late for a welcome party, but I promised you one, and here it is! It's great, isn't it?” “ Yeah..." I nodded in prostration and stared at the bouquet held by magic, while at the same time I used my right hoof to adjust the replica of my own helmet made of some rather heavy plastic on my head, which, by the way, some guests here were also wearing. When and where did it all come from so swiftly? “I had to change the beginning - you know, cannon, confetti, BOOM, SURPRISE-E-E!!! - and stuff like that, just to make you like it." Pinkamina panted, as if she hadn't noticed me, pulling my ears back from her demonstration as a reflex. “Okay, let's go! It's time for you to find new friends, to rest and have fun, because I think we're about to run out of cake!” Earthpony, wrapping her tail around my right leg, dragged one slightly dazed alicorn into the crowd. ... “O-oh... A-a...” I, falling out from the kaleidoscope of faces and conversations, collapsed on the corner couch and, after swallowing a glass of cold lemonade I've grabbed from the table in three sips, I was finally able to catch my breath and gather my thoughts. The party was not thinking of ending: the ponies were chatting in pairs and piles, joking, laughing, participating in all kinds of contests, dancing, eating, drinking ... I think, that after this evening, there would be no person, who at the sight of me would quickly run over to the other side of the street for sure. Everyone came to me - some shyly, some confidently and with interest. They had time to greet me, to get acquainted, to tap our hooves in a friendly way, to express their admiration for the fashion show, and to even give me small gifts... I was even able to have a word with the already known ponies. Lotus and Aloe came, everyone from the Apples family - and it was the right moment: Big Mac made a duet with Rarity, singing along to the gramophone to the approving applause of the crowd in two voices. I saw Balk somewhere else, met Lyra and Bon Bon... Even some of the medics stopped by! Broken Arm politely inquired about the side and was glad, that everything was all right, and his colleague... And his colleague blushed with one "Hello, my deary" and the memories, that immediately sprang up! Oh damn... I sighed and tried to mechanically drink more lemonade from the long-empty glass, with a chuckle put it away. No, that doctor, Vital Constance, was definitely trolling me on purpose! It was her necessary at the end of our brief and generally neutral conversation to screw up that, like, "The last time I did not have time to say - you were in a hurry, but you should not worry, if you have not had arousal so far. After such a stress the body needs to recover - this is normal, and the estral cycle will gradually come back to normal and the proper sexual desire will be restored to its normal level! However, I see you are in a hurry to have time to pay attention to the other guests ... " Damned crock! No wonder I’m such in a hurry after such conversations! How, how?.. However, I think I know who she got it from, if she really managed to work at the castle a few years ago: white, winged, horned, can still smile very innocently... “Greetings!” “Howdy...” “Hi, Nightmare! Can we join you?” Three voices said hi to me, screaming over the music. “Of course girls.” I moved, making room on the couch, while mentally thanking the fillies for helping me get rid of... uncomfortable thoughts. She was leaning on my side like an owner, Scoot - nearby, and Apple bloom, looking on with cautious interest, a little farther away. They're all together, the doomsday crew... “This is Apple Bloom, Applejack's junior sister!” Sweetie Belle with a bow in her mane presented the yellow earthpony. “We want to establish a club! To find our cutie marks! But Scootaloo doesn't want to!” The unicorn whined. “I do want! Just don't have enough time!” She was indignant. “I’m drilling!” “It has end, doesn't it?” I tried to stroke the pegasus with a wing. She dodged it, showing me her tongue. “Or it's Bulk, who keeps you that way?” “Nah... Bulk is getting on my nerves, too, that I have to control it and stuff... But I’ll learn faster if I drill more!” “More like you’ll drop dead.” I shook my head. “Don't try to eat the cake with one bite. Bulk, on top of that, is a professional, and he knows what he advises.” “Ehm, thanks...” A low voice rumbled overhead, as if to suppress the sounds of the party and the music, as if they were unimportant. “Not a professional if to be honest... Just know some from my personal experience...” “Hi.” I smiled and saluted the white hulk, that loomed over the couch with my hoof. “How is it going? Will you pull that off?” “I will.” He smiled uncertainly. “I had almost the same thing in my childhood. And also, ehm... I wanted to thank you.” THE pegasus looked away shyly. “Thank you for offering to do this. I... I felt in my place. It was my destiny to pull iron, as my mark says, and I did, but I lacked something... And now I understand, that not only I should pull it myself, but also train others to do so! If only they would obey me..." Scootaloo hid her gaze with embarrassment. “Okay, I think I won't bother you from now on... Scoot, don't you think just sitting here with hunger as your friend! You should gain weight!” Saying valuable instructions, Bulk hastened to bustle off. He's doing a great job, it'll be cool if he can make it, and Scootie would be able to fly... “She will if she obeys him...” I mumbled thoughtfully, looking askew at the filly. “I will!” She blew up in indignant. “Means you're not gonna refuse to enter our club?” Bloomie sounded for the first time. “A-a, you won't be able to do even a thing without me!” The pegasus sniffed. “Hey!” “Scootaloo, you’ll like it yourself!” “Okay, okay, I agree!” She burst into laughter. The others picked up on that, making me smile involuntarily. “By the way, Scoot.” I addressed to the kid, when the laughter died away. Before I forget again... “How are Spoon and Tiara doing? Do they bother you?” “Na-ah, they don't even think of it!” She answered a bit gloatingly, grinning. “Silver was firmly offended by this coward! And vice versa! They don't even talk! But honestly - Spoon doesn't hurry to be our friend as well...” “Why would she?” “Well... Nightmare said so, I think...” Scowling, the pegasus tried to remember. “Nightmare thought.” I chuckled.” That Silver Spoon is the wingman in their duet, and without Tiara’s attention she would feel lonely. And there’s a chance of her, trying to make new friends...” “Us?!..” She looked up at me in amazement, making me smile for a second. “But they can't stand us! And Tiara, and Spoon!” “You. Why not? I was under the impression, that Silver was dependent on Tiara's opinion, and that if she stopped listening to her, she might do it sooner or later. But I don't know them very well, I could be wrong.” “I can't get the idea of why should we be friends with her?” The earthpony had a doubt. “Because you'd have one more friend and Tiara would be alone, thus will not play on others’ nerves ever!” Scoot explained, raising her hoof to the ceiling. “Diamond would be lonely all by herself...” Sweetie Belle didn't support the general enthusiasm. “Do you feel sorry for her?..” “Of course I do! It’s very-very bad to be alone!” The unicorn threw a pitying look at me. "If she apologizes, we definitively have to forgive her and make her our friend!” Don't look at me like that. Don't. But maybe it's true... “Sayin’ such bluffing, Sweetie!..” “It’s bad to be alone...” I barely heard her through the noise of the party. Apple Bloom, sitting nearby, snorted incredulously in response. Scootaloo drooped clearly, remembering something. No wonder - about Dash... “Sweetie, go for a walk for now, would you.” I nudged her with my nose. Not particularly tactful, of course... “I want to whisper something in Scootaloo's ear.” “What?” She became interested. “Off you go!” I nudged her again, chuckling. “She will say it to you if she wants to.” “Let’s go, Apple Bloom...” The unicorn jumped off the sofa reluctantly, sighing wistfully. Her friend followed her, hesitating for a bit. “H-hey!!!” The orange pony fluttered her wings indignantly as I waited for us to be conditionally alone in our faraway corner of the hall and scooped her up close to me with my telekinesis. “Tell me - how are you doing?” I hugged her and stroked the desperately resisting filly on the head with my wing, ruffling her naughty dark-pink mane even more. Damn it, she’s so cute, so cute Scootie! It's hard to resist!.. Now she will sulk. “I won't!” She sulked and turned away, pretending to look independent. “I'm not a kid for all this tenderness... E-eww!” “I can't stand myself." I hung my ears sadly and made a regretful face. “The darkness is strong in me! I do all sorts of terrible and evil deeds...” Scootaloo laughed, trying to disguise it as a cough. She turned to look at my face, and laughed again, smiling involuntarily. “Sorry. I just wanted to cheer you up a bit.” I replied with a smile, blushing a bit. “A-a...” Pegasus waved away helplessly as far as the distance between us allowed. “And why should you? I think I’m fine...” “Thank you for stopping by the show, and for your kind words, too.” I let her go from my embrace. Scoot pulled back a little, but was in no hurry to escape. “Honestly, my legs were a little shaky then." I grinned. “It’s nothing! I’m so...” She started to blush. I smiled: it's so cute, damn it! “Are you going well with Bulk?” “Y-EAH-S!” Scootaloo suddenly barked, making me recoil reflexively in surprise. “Yeah, I see...” I mumbled, hastily straightening ears to the accompaniment of the interlocutor's laughter. What a... Brat! “He's a good one.” She claimed, ending with her laughter. “But sometimes he's so serious! Always calculates something: some calories, the number of sets and reps... It's boring! But, you know, it looks... reliable." The pegasus gestured indefinitely in the air. “And also it works! We just started, but I can already stay in the air two and a half seconds longer! I never would have guessed that all that kind of exercise really helps! Bulk, however, says, that it's still a long way before I can fly and that it takes a long time to get ready... Why is everything good always long and complicated and everything good tastes bad?!” Scoot marked the fact of the universal injustice by a sorrowful scream of her soul. “Do you regret that you've accepted that?” “I did at first. But when I started staying in the air a little longer... And eating so much every day... I mean, it's not that I was starving before, I just needed more for muscle mass to grow, so... Well..." She started to speak fast, clearly saying something unwanted. “Yeah, I believe you.” I grinned unhappily as I lightly poked her in the protruding ribs with my hoof. “Would you tell about it?” “N-no... I don't know...” I hardly heard the pegasus, who became confused because of the question. “What there’s to tell?” She cringed, getting a grip after a few moments. “My mom died so young that I don't remember her much, as well as I don't remember my dad sober. He used to be a photographer, sort of, before she died... Look, all this rotten hay can go to the timberwolfes." She shook her mane decisively. “Is it a party or not?” “I'm sorry, friend, it's true." I unfolded my wing again, but when I ran into a warning gloomy look, I hastily put it back in place, laughing quietly: “Okay-okay, I won't do that again!” We watched the fun in silence for a while. To one side, the people were playing blind man's buff. The blindfolded mare, extending her left front leg zombie-style and spreading her wings to control her flanks, was inexorably approaching the corner, where one of the participants has carelessly run into. The stallion pressed hopelessly into the wall, the mare slowly advancing, the audience laughing and giving advice, Pinkie spinning around and commenting. Some people were chatting quietly near the table with snacks and drinks, a group of guests were enchanted listening to something vividly and emotionally telling Rarity, Lyra, who also found her audience, was carefully dancing to the music, standing on her hind legs only, some blue pegasus was concentrating on driving darts to the dart board, skillfully throwing them with the tip of her wing. Idyll! Or not really... I glanced at the last one, recognizing her as Rainbow Dash. She was throwing the darts alone and with a kind of fierceness, I'd say. “Are you good now?” “We? A-a, Rainbow.” Scoot followed my gaze. “I don't know. No?.. She came up earlier today, telling me, that she apologized to you, sort of..." She tilted her head sideways with doubt. “She did. It was... Epic.” I confirmed and chuckled. “It seemed to me, that she has learned a certain lesson from all that had happened, so, let it be - I extended her the hoof of peace and friendship.” “After everything she has done?” Turning around, Scootaloo looked at me with distrust. “You know...” I moved my wing indefinably, thoughtfully examining the pattern on the flooring. “If she'd attacked at any other time, I probably would have snapped and beaten her harder than Gilda, but... I didn't care at the time. I was just moping around for a while." I explained with a small smile, in response to the obvious grown perplexity on my companion's face. “And there were no serious consequences, either. Should I have gone for revenge? Well, I tried that once - have it become better for anyone? Besides, she got a beating from all her friends at once, including you. Maybe Tia's had a bad influence on me, that I don't want to growl at anyone lately...” I rubbed my chin with my hoof in an exaggeratedly thoughtful way and, not being able to hold it, laughed softly. “Well, I don't know...” Scoot said skeptically. Sat in silence for a while. Dash has finished her entire stock of darts and, walking over, began to pull them back out in sharp, twitching motions. The painted one sharply dismissed everyone, who has come up recently, who noticed her agitated state, continuing to "have fun" alone. “Go talk to her, would you?” I looked down at the pink hair next to me. “I have a feeling, that she's going to cry now.” “We’ve talked already! That I’m like a sister to her... Yeah, one day it’s “Go away with your apples to your beloved Nightmare!”, then the next day it’s “You're like my sister”.” The pegasus sniffed as a reply. “She always seemed so cool, I always wanted to be her friend, but she says “Go away”. I didn't understand right away, but...” Scootaloo waved away hopelessly. “You've been friends for a long time. Hasn't anything good accumulated during that time, that's worth more than a mistake or two?” I don't know about Dash - I'm not particularly interested. But Scoot obviously cares, even though she's trying to distance herself somehow. Why? Our rainbow-colored pony isn't that bad. Stupid, pea-brained - but still. Maybe she would overcome herself... “Maybe...” The kid said with a shaky voice. The last dart passed by and, with a low clang, flew off the wall back beneath the blue mare's feet. Dash, kicking it violently towards the target, turned around, and, with a dejected look on her face, headed away. “I'll... go, I guess. Thank you.” Scootaloo, who has been watching her tirelessly, jumped off the couch after a moment, clopping her hooves on the floor. “You're welcome.” “Come on." I instructed her with a faint smile on the edges of my lips. They will make up. “They will. And everything would be fine.” I involuntarily shuddered at a voice that sounded unexpectedly nearby. The upholstery of the couch stretched to take the weight of Pinkamina, who was settling down beside me. “You may not believe this, but you're a nice pony, Nightmare. You may not like Rainbow, but you've done a lot for her today.” “Not for her.” “But with the understanding, that she, and not Scooty, needs support the most right now.” Scootie, who has caught up with Dash and was talking to her, was clearly regretting it, trying desperately to escape the rainbow-haired pegasus' embrace. I grinned, and then shook my head, dismissing the sudden thought that this was something like me and Luna. Damn it, thinking about her at the party, yeah... “Nightmare, do you remember?!” I was helped to get out of my unpleasant thoughts by rubbing my wing and making frightening eyes when I turned around. “I remember what?” “That this is your party!” Pinkie effectively flipped her mane from her right side to her left. “Welcoming party, Nightmare!” “I'm having a wonderful time, talking to my friends in the far quiet corner!” I playfully put both front hooves in front of me in a protective gesture. “Believe me, the only thing I need to be happy is lemonade!” “Y-ou a-re wro-ng!” The foot of my companion bumped into my chest. “Because we have a drawing contest coming up, and it's definitely going to be better-better than lemonade! Let’s go!” “I'm kind of... You know what I can draw without even realizing it!” Wait, does she?.. A-a, doesn't matter... “Drawing contest” sounds cool without a doubt... As long as you're in control when you pick up a pencil! “Everything will be alright!” The earthpony cut me dismissively. “Let’s go!” “Hear the word - do the word...” I sighed hopelessly as I felt someone's forehead pressing firmly against my back, just below my shoulder blades. Damn it, I've done everything I could... ... “Wo-o-ow!” “Lifelike!” “Oh, Celestia!..” “Wow! Can you draw me like that?..” I was high on congratulations and continued to look at my work out of the corner of my eye. Pinkie, probably, has chosen the only real win-win, safe tactic: asking me to paint a portrait of Rarity. The spectacular unicorn stood on the catwalk in a gorgeous outfit, shining in her first meaningful victory on her path to greatness and glory. She was greeted by the crowd, an alicorn figure looming nearby and a leading lady twirling, but all of them, given general outlines and shadows, were only an addition to her and her triumph. “None of this would have happened without you." The milliner herself was finally able to appreciate the picture as well. “You would have found someone, even though later." I brushed it off. “There are many models, but you are the only one.” “And yet, you're not right to portray it this way, my dear. I'm not the only one who made this... fashion festival possible.” “But it was the most important for you, Ice Cream." I winked at her. Well, I see, that you liked it in your eyes - why deny it? “Ice Cream?..” Rarity asked with a loss amidst the smiles of the crowd. Ehm, damn it... I think I've said something unwanted... We're a little bit not alone here, so... “I like it!” Pinkamina appeared nearby and looked at the unicorn with a critical eye. “Marshmallow is not your cup of tea, and it sounded like... Like it’s a well-worn thing, I don't know why. And you're so white and cold on the surface for those, who don't know you... It suits you!” Earthpony gave her verdict, and winked too. “You're embarrassing me!” Rarity complained, making her brows like a house. “And my name isn't that hard and awful!..” “A name, that's perfect for you," I nodded, interrupting the milliner before she could get herself worked up about her name. “But, don't you think it's nice to embarrass you once in a while?” “Nightmare!..” The banter was interrupted by Spike, who pushed his way into the crowd, to the delight of the crowd. “Rarity! There... Guests!” “Guests are everywhere here, kid.” I grinned wryly at the distraught little dragon. “Who is that guest, that came to my house, that you had to tell me that, dear Spikey? Thank you!” The unicorn responded a little bit mannerly to please her "knight," and she headed for the door. through the dispersing and gradually re-dispersing guests. I didn't hesitate long to follow, and so did several other ponies, interested in a guest, who suddenly didn't just show up at a party, where everyone was welcome, but instead stood orphaned under the door. I would have thought it was Flutty, but the yellow pegasus was already here: I caught her with my eye in the company of the medics, discussing something with them excitedly... “Hell... Your Excellency?.. Come in, please!..” She stumbled mid-word, barely beginning her greeting, then backed away from the door to let Princess Cadence in, then fell to her knees to bow. The others, realizing who has entered, did not hesitate to follow her example. “Hi, Cadence.” I saluted with my wing, chuckling with an edge of my lips. “What chance brings you here?” Interesting... Why would she come here?.. Nah, doesn't matter, will find out later... “Get up, you shouldn't...” She hesitated a little at the expression of loyalty to the monarch. “Greetings, everypony. Greetings, Nightmare. It seems I’m late, am I not?” “You missed a lot, but you're not late. Just hanging out, drinking, having fun...” “...”Nightmare Moon”... Sorry, I didn't want to ruin your party.” Alicorn glanced at me guiltily, glancing up at the balloons and the banner under the ceiling. “There’s nothing to ruin - just join in! Vinyl will tune up her equipment, and we'll have some more fun." I held out my hoof for a friendly "clop", describing the prospects. “I'm sorry, but I'm afraid I'm here on very important business... Hello. Hello, all ponies. I don't need it, thanks... Hello!..” Cadence replied to my gesture and moved on into the hall with me, forcibly distracted by the ponies, who kept noticing her presence. “Princess Cadence! Howdy!” Pinkie appeared nearby and, instantly making a statutory bow, immediately ran to be next to the alicorn. “Welcome to the Nightmare Moon welcoming Party, where you can relax, have fun, and make new friends! Treat this house as your own!” Another replica of my helmet was immediately placed on the head of the noble, who was taken aback by the pressure, and a glass of lemonade was glued to the front right hoof in an elusive movement. "Enjoy the evening!” “...Thank you.” She replied a little hesitantly, adjusting her helmet and slowly taking a small sip from the glass. “Yeah, that's the way I looked and adjusted my helmet when I got here." I chuckled at the look on her face. Cadence smiled back a little confused. “Your Excellency! Forgive me for not welcoming you properly to my humble dwelling!” Rarity, a little out of breath, was making herself known again, glittering in richer jewels and new makeup. When did she do that?.. “Rarity, you shouldn't have...” “But Your Excellency!..” “Oops, I almost forgot it!” Suddenly, Pinkie slid in between them, sending both of them tumbling backward as a reflex, which gave me a little chuckle. “Princess Cadence, we’ve just ended our drawing contest! Let's have you as the judge!” “But I’m in a hurry...” “Pinkie!!!” “Pri-i-nce-ess! You still need to rest and have fun!..” “Fine...” She muttered, her eyes lingering on me for some reason. Don't think so easily, Cadence. If you come to a Pinkie party, you can't get away from it that easily. I gave another chuckle to the alicorn, who sighed as she followed our party-pony to the pictures we've drawn. ... Music thundered. The low bass, echoing in the whole body like impact waves, rattled the windows, and in the darkness the spotlight and the glare of the disco ball, that swirled under the ceiling in time with the ongoing action, which, though, was going to its end: people were gradually saying goodbye and going home, leaving only the most resistant to the present moment. Cadence and I got out of the dancing - who could dance at least something - crowd, dragged the couch I'd liked from the corner closer to the appetizer table by a pair of horns, and fell onto it in unison, spreading like puddles of fatigue and buzz on the nice soft upholstery. “That's not a good seat! The wrong table!” I looked at the rows of empty glasses, clinking in time with the music. I noticed a bottle, that has not yet been poured into glasses, pulled it to me, and, getting rid of the cork by an impulse of magic, with pleasure sipped from the bottleneck. Ni-i-ce-e... My legs were aching, especially the back left one, which has already gotten a beating today, and my heart was pumping blood through my arteries with a slight throbbing and heat all over my body. I over-danced, phew... No, I could do some pirouettes on the dance floor in a four-legged body with a tail and wings, though I didn't know how to do that. And heck with it! Who does give a heck at a disco? That's what a disco is for - to party to the best of your comprehension - just so long as it's fun! And I also liked hooves in this case: nothing sticks out, so it's unreal to step on someone's foot even in such a dense party! “Can I have it too?..” Cadence marked the bottle in my hoof with her eyes limply, recovering breath after the party as well. “Take it.” I handed it to Princess, earning a reproachful look. Alicorn looked around the table, trying to find a clean glass, hesitantly looked at the bottle, sighed, sipped from the bottleneck. “Thanks.” We had to speak in high tones: the glasses on the table were still clinking with the murmur of the bass. “The last time I was at an event like this was ten years ago." She grinned, handing the bottle back to me and slightly adjusting her helmet and mane. “Yeah." I nodded out of the line and was about to gather my legs on the couch. “Move it!” “Where?” “Well, hug if you can't move! This furniture is not for alicorns!” “Ph-h!” Cadence rolled her eyes, but still made some sort of counter-movement. We were somehow able to fit on the couch, half-laying to our own sides. Salute to the ponies’ anatomy, which was more flexible than that of an Earth horse! We lay in silence for a while, letting ourselves rest, and exchanging the bottle, until it ran out. “You know what I don't understand?” I thoughtfully looked at the empty container and put it under the table. “M?” “Why don't I have any problems with my height, except sometimes with furniture? Ceilings, door jambs - all that stuff?” “Don't you know?” Cadence rose up a bit in surprise. “It's a tradition, dating back to the law, almost to the beginning of the Sisters' rule. I thought you'd seen it before?” “I don't remember, as well as many other things.” I shook my head. “Fine. Hmm, I guess I oversimplified... As my aunt told me, in the beginning it was a kind of good manners rule among the nobility: that Princess Celestia herself could enter their house without bowing her head or feeling uncomfortable. Then the High Council of the Estates passed a law, requiring all nobles to build their houses this way - or rebuild the ones they had already built. This is how we got a kind of property qualification at the same time: those who could not afford to rebuild, were deprived of their titles. And then the landowners began to force their subordinate ponies to do the same so they could boast that "In my lands, Her Highness can go wherever she pleases!” Auntie tried to fight it, but she didn't succeed, and eventually just shrugged it off. Well, now it's just become an accepted standard. And it's comfortable for pegasi, too - they can't stand cramped spaces and low ceilings.” “Interesting!” I nodded with my head. The local nobles had their share of foolishness... But, hell, I should thank them for this one, because I haven't picked up a single lintel with my horn at all! The music, meanwhile, has died down, and I slid off the couch, squeezing Cadence again. I have to see the guests off, thank them all... It was great. I’m not a lover of it, but... But it was good. ... “So what chance brings you here? Did Pinkie send you an invitation, too?” We strolled leisurely under the roadside lights and the huge Equestrian Moon, cooling off after the party and breathing in the fresh air. And what could we do if we were just kicked out of “Carousel” for the time of cleanup?.. We only had time to put the couch back in its place before we were told: “The first one's honor was met, and the second one is a Princess, why the hay you should “help” us?!” We had to go, even though I don't like walking under the stars... However, considering that Cadence obviously wanted to talk about something, a walk alone was in order. “No. I wouldn't have come then. Too much things to do. I could spare a couple of hours to come see you - yeah... Ah..." She sighed, waving hopelessly into the space. “However, I do not regret, don't think I do! It was great! At least I recovered a bit.” She smiled. “The crown is heavy, the throne is uncomfortable...” I mumbled thoughtfully. “Yes...” We walked in silence for a while. I stared at the clouds of insects, swirling under the lamps, and Cadence bit her lip thoughtfully. “What's going on with Tia? She hasn't answered to any of my letters. Still hasn't.” “This is why I’m here.” The interlocutor sighed again. “She seems to be having nightmares, something troubles her... Luna thinks you're the only person who can help Celestia.” “How?” I chuckled skeptically. “If that's the case, she wouldn't want to see me, judging by my experience.” “You're a dream walker, Nightmare. We think you were the one who got that part of the gift after the... separation.” “I won't deny the possibility." I said after a moment. I’ve nicely beaten that “producer” - and there were no nightmares since then. Food for thoughts... “But I have no idea how it all works, and there's no one to teach me. And I don't think this is a matter of seconds.” “This is why... It’s the hardest part...” Cadence sighed as if before jumping into water. “Luna invites you to Canterlot to teach and...” “No.” “But Night...” “I don't want to know anything about Luna!” Stopping and bumping my hoof into the chest of my companion, I explained as clearly as possible. Let her go to the abyss with her invitations! The damned beast! It's hard to leave me alone, isn't it?!.. Just to fucking leave me alone and not bother to remind me of your existence?!.. I shot the alicorn a long glance and turned away and continued down the road, driving my hooves into the sidewalk with force. I wanted to curse and spit with annoyance. It's just been such a lovely day, fu!.. Cadence, fucking bitch!.. “Sorry. I understand it’s not the best moment now.” She muttered hesitantly as she caught up with me. “But we haven't found any other way... Celestia really needs help!” I picked up my pace in silence, causing Cadence to almost gallop. “Nightmare, I know you rejected her friendship, but don't you!..” “What are you suggesting?!” I came to an abrupt halt with the aid of my wings and jerked around, taking a blow to my chest with the body and head of Princess, who hasn't slowed down in time. Didn't slobber my fur: you can live. “Def... Oh!.. D-defend Princess Celestia from her nightmare, so she will stop gradually... going mad!” She hurriedly stepped back, averting her eyes to the side with embarrassment. “And your beloved Luna can not do it!?” “No, she can't. She has tried, but now, after the loss of her talent, she is not even able to defend herself!” I wanted to argue, that maybe it was the blue herself, who was drowning her sister in nightmares, but, remembering what Rarity had said and how I had already taken wishful thinking for granted once, I shuddered. “And how am I supposed to do that?” I asked instead gloomily. “Do you offer learn from Luna?” “Well... Yes. This art is almost forgotten, there are no books about it, and we... We couldn't find any other ways. I know, that you're...” “You know fucking nothing.” I interrupted the alicorn, turned around and started to wander down the road once again. Damn, why is this going like this?.. Why do I have to get in the muck ‘till my ears to help Tia? But I... No. Is Tia my friend?... I don't know. I hope she is. But who do I think she is? A friend? Maybe... “Maybe”... She forgave me her short stay in the Sun - not essential, that is not completely my action - helped me settle in, took care of me... Supported me, when I was confused about myself and the world around me. And, I'm sure, really tried to forgive me for trying to kill her sister and only relative in general! The nightmare hasn't allowed to... So, who do I think Tia is? A friend?.. Slowing, I sighed. Yes. A friend. And friends... How did I think when I first met Pinkie?.. “A friend in need is a friend indeed”, yeah? So, what, I’m just gonna give up just because of Luna? But... Abandoning a friend just for your own comfort? But what if Luna... If this is Luna - then of course! Who would defend Tia then? That in itself is nonsense, of course, at the level of the concept, but still? And what about yourself, huh? Maybe if someone hadn't tried to stab her sister, she wouldn't be having nightmares right now, huh?.. Who's trying to kill Tia with nightmares after that, idiot?.. I paused, my lips pressed together tensely. Damn it. Damn it! “When is the departure?” 45. Make Everything RightAuthor's Note Guys, I need your opinion. Get down to the comm section and give me some ground to make my further choice. 45. Make Everything Right The gloomy, rainy morning matched the gloomy mood. And even her own chambers seemed to match it: she wanted to light the lamps covertly to dispel the bleakness and gloom of the seemingly dark walls with the glow of the magical lamps. Though, the lamps could overcome the gloom and illuminate the halls - but they could not illuminate a soul, the gloom of which was beyond their reach... Luna sighed. Her own words, the ones she'd thrown at her angry sister in the heat of the moment, stung from the inside. Tia had been wrong then, yes, but rejecting her at a time when her help and participation were needed the most?.. Alas, the Princess of the Night could not overcome her anger and, perhaps, fear, but she found the courage and determination to talk to her sister the next day - but Celestia was no longer in the castle: she had flown to Cloudsdale for some urgent inspection, without giving a notice to anybody. Why an inspection so far away from the palace had been so urgent was painfully obvious to Luna... However, until her sister returned, it was probably not the time to think about it, especially since Nightmare Moon arrived at the castle last evening. In fact, on her way to the landing stage of her wing of the palace, Princess had a hard time imagining what to expect from this meeting. She hoped to see acceptance in Nightmare's eyes, she hoped for a chance to fix at least something, and if not pay off everything, then at least to make some amends... The depression over the rift with Tia, in turn, grimly murmured, that she would probably receive only barely covered evil sneers, taunts, and insults in an attempt to hurt as much as possible. Neither her hopes nor her fears were justified, however, and the meeting was surprisingly neutral. The black alicorn listened silently to the nervous greeting, nodded curtly, and asked dryly where she could sleep. Only the heavy, unblinking stare of her eyes, dimly glowing in the darkness of the night demonstrated the thoughts and emotions that she was keeping to herself, eloquently wishing to Luna, a fast and immediate order to get lost. Well, it was better than insults... That, in fact, was the end of their conversation for now: Dark Whisper, at the order of Princess, showed Nightmare her chambers and helped her get settled. She declined the invitation to a late supper, preferring, as expected, to eat alone in her room. But today... When she opened the door, the alicorn paused for a moment, glancing around the small dining room and the table full of food. The much-anticipated - and yet frightening - face-to-face meeting will be held today: it is necessary to agree on the lessons and their order and most importantly, what Luna timidly hoped for, to talk about their relationship and maybe come to a compromise, at least temporarily... After making sure, that the table was properly laid, Luna carefully settled down in her seat. There were still a few minutes left before the appointed hour, and the anticipation made her heart beat faster in anxiety and excitement, while her eyes scrutinized again and again for the slightest imperfection. The decoration and arrangement of furniture should emphasize the meeting of equals, although the status of Nightmare Moon is formally lower; the cutlery is selected and arranged correctly; the dishes... alas, here, due to unawareness, it had to be relied solely on her own taste and hope for the best; the servants... no servants - this is a private conversation. Midnight will meet the guest: the commander of her guards stands on the post next to the entrance... Luna suppressed the desire to get a fork - made of the solidest stainless steel! - with an intricate ornament, so that she could spin it around impatiently in front of her eyes, but instead tried to shift her thoughts to something else. Yeah, Midnight... Yesterday was a... Revelation to the thestrals? No, the rumors have been around for a long time, and the paper that caused quite a stir a little over a week ago didn’t go unnoticed, but still, seeing the second incarnation of their Great One in the flesh was clearly something on the verge of shock for many. It was Midnight who, in a brief conversation yesterday, shared her elation: now the bringers of the night will make peace with the common enemy and lead the Night Ponies to victory and a well-deserved place under the Moon! She did, however, express cautious concern, that not everyone shares this view, and there are many in the Princess guard who are not ready to accept Nightmare Moon as their mistress. And there's a suspicion that there will even be those who are willing to do just that - but to the detriment of the service to Luna herself! It seems that the thestrals, who were not united to begin with, were now on the brink of infighting, as it had once happened to their people... “...Come in.” Midnight's voice came from behind a silently opened door, forcing Princess to get back to reality, and the black alicorn, like a clot of darkness, stepped over the threshold, eyeing the corners as if looking for an ambush, incredulous. Now, in normal light, in a normal state and in no hurry, Luna was finally able to see her better, while vaguely recalling the image she had seen in the mirror centuries ago. Nightmare Moon... It almost seemed like it was her, no doubt, she was a spitting image, but something was off from what her memory told her. Her gaze, her movements, her facial expressions... There was something about her that was subtly different from the one that had once been reflected in the mirror. Perhaps the eyes, that have never looked at Luna... like this... before...? Princess shivered, turning her gaze away. “Greetings, Nightmare.” She said hello, pulling herself together. “Good morning. Take a seat, please! Did you sleep well?” The black alicorn, slowing, came closer silently, hovering over the table and the mare, sitting behind it, which was tense as a strung string. “Luna.” She said finally, disturbing the thickening silence, flying above them like a thundercloud. “Let’s get it clear: don't try to get your way into my friend list and pretend, that I mean something for you! You invited me to the breakfast allegedly to discuss some topic - hence get rid of the useless idle talk. You can enjoy your voice next time! Without me!” Nightmare, looking at the perplexed Princess of the Night, stepped back a bit and plunked onto her place behind the table. Luna sighed quietly, looking firmly at her bowl. It may seem, that Nightmare said something bad and ugly! She just tried to meet the guest welcomingly and with respect... However, did the hostess deserve something more?.. Still, the idea of merely remaining silent was contrary to alicorn's wishes. “I...” Nightmare lifted her eyes from the soup bowl, from which she was eating too fast, drawing with a salad spoon and bumping into Luna's voice with an unblinking stare. “The w... work of ours towards understanding and trust, though shallow, is going to be needed indeed. And there is no evil in my polite word to you! Or even a word of kindness by me is disgustful for you?” “Trust?!..” The Mare in the Moon, it seemed, even got lost. Shook her head, glanced indefinably, chuckled, twitching an ear. “Trust... If so, maybe I should just turn away and get back to not lose your precious time?” She asked acidly. “Trust”.... Phew...” “I... Know how it sounds...” The Princess of the Night bowed her head penitently. “But I don't ask for myself. Art thou really going to leave my povre sister because of me?..” “You know, scarecrow... Because of you - I will.” Luna shivered. A completely, utterly unexpected answer, thrown in an even, indifferent voice, made her heart go out of rhythm, and a chill run down her spine. “But... But...” Cadence told her, that she had said everything to Nightmare - and she agreed!.. But... Why?!... “What “but”, blue one?” Some pained chuckle can be felt in the interlocutor's voice. “I do what I want to! I’m a heartless mad monster, which wasn't good enough to not be left alone to die on the Moon, was I?..” Nightmare's words ran into Luna like a ram, knocking the wind out of her. “No, I... I...” “You! You, Luna! I needed you there! Needed more than life! But you... You weren't there.” Through her tear-stained eyes, the Princess of the Night saw Nightmare Moon, sucking air frantically through her teeth, rise sharply from the table. She did not find the words to stop her. Hiding from the world behind her wings, Luna, with a desperate effort to stifle a treacherous sob, awkwardly wiped away the tears with her wrist. The accusation plunged into her heart like a rusty, jagged, curved knife, and it only became more unbearable because it was fully just and deserved. Unredeemable. Unforgivable. Irresistible. “You were needed, but you weren't there” And her voice, which was just about to be shouted, snapped into a cracked whisper... And nothing could be changed, nothing could be healed, nothing could be reversed, she cannot be the one she should have been to Nightmare. It... It hurts so much... ... It was only when the tears and mascara dried on her cheeks and there was a ringing, dreary silence in her head, that Princess reluctantly moved, feeling her body numb with detached annoyance at the long immobility. Hunger was nagging, but the long-cooled food on the beautifully set table in front of her disgusted her with its mere presence. She didn't want anything. She wanted to turn back time and put Nightmare in a coma, leaving herself alone with her loneliness - just to keep her happy. But... If only that was possible... “You know... I don't know what I want from you even a bit.” Luna shivered and turned to the voice with a surprise, not awaiting to hear it by any chance. Nightmare stood by a window, drooping, her forehead against the glass. She did not leave?.. “Just don't ask what I’m still doing here.” She answered at the unspoken astonishment with a hum after a moment, as if reading thoughts. “I don't have any clue.” The black mare turned back to the table as she became alive once again, twisting her head and crunching her stiff neck. “When I agreed to all this, I hoped that I would feel nothing more, especially after our friendly meeting in the woods... But your mug with that eternal innocent expression on it within sight does wonders." She snorted thoughtfully and somewhat tiredly, walking over to the table and studying its contents with a detached look. “Sorry. Sorry for everything.” Luna sighed. “Know We... I know, that it's not me! It’s not me, who sceolde ask for this, but I don't have the right to be speechless. I have made a dreadful evil, not even understanding what I’m doing - and I’m sincerely sorry for this. But it is not by words that one is judged, and I will do all I can to make my deeds a proof for you of my repentance.” The Princess of the Night closed her eyes for a few moments, sighing. How long she wanted to say something like that to Nightmare Moon - and she did not miss her boat. And though the one to whom these words were addressed did not even look up, pretending to be fully absorbed in her search for the desired food, her sluggish movements and her focused ear, barely perceptibly twitching in response to the words, said: she has listened. “Drat, Luna! It would have been so easy without you!.. “Going to make deeds, yeah...” She whipped her tail irritably at her side, and after a moment of hesitation, Nightmare responded, giving the blue alicorn a hard look. “I remember your one deed. There, on the Moon. Very tellingly it was. Got it in my memory. Damn it!” Not finding something eligible for a sandwich, the Mare in the Moon, sniffing annoyingly, put the piece of bread aside. “I’ll make amends!” Luna looked from under her brows, standing another blow. “I don't need anything from you, blue one. Neither your life, nor your death, nor you yourself even for a bit! I wouldn't have been here if...” Nightmare Moon looked away from the table, looking towards a window gloomily. Only wind, beating glass, was disrupting the silence. ... “Okay, I can dream of death on another occasion.” Luna shivered, lifting her gaze at moving Nightmare in a hurry, on the face of which a sad nervous smirk has frozen. Dream - of death?!.. “You invited me to discuss business. Shoot.” Princess shook her head, trying to get rid of the useless thoughts and putting ideas in order. Enough. It was not the time nor the place for it! Tried to think of the best start... “I see, that preparation for the meeting was enormous.” The black alicorn commented on the hiccup in a seemingly even tone, but in some subtly pejorative way. “What's with Tia, for starters?” She sat onto her place behind the table as if not wanting to do it. “It’s hard to say. Sister... was very careful to avoid talking about it." Luna sighed. “The only truth is that nightmares torment her mercilessly. From what I've heard, the essence is similar to what happened to you before...” “Isn't it your job, m?” Princess stumbled mid-word, glancing worriedly at the openly smirking Mare in the Moon, who was sitting across from her with her forelegs folded unusually across her chest. “No.” She sighed, looking away. “Never again in my life will I stand up against my sister with a weapon, infringing on her health and belly from my pitiful and petty motives! And the same is true about you, Nightmare, since I don't wish you evil! It’s enough what I've done to both of you...” “You speak well." The interlocutor indefinitely chuckled, getting up from the table, which was still full of food that no one has touched. “And in such a lofty style... But I don't want to trust you for some reason at all, I just can't see the reason - why?..” She asked in a deliberately perplexed way. Luna, staring silently at the tabletop in front of her, rolled her cheeks as she took another well-deserved jab. “So... Don't be a fool!” She seemed to think for only a moment, and then Nightmare Moon's voice came over her ear, making her shiver, turn around and meet her eyes as a reflex. “If I know that you, mistake, dig under Tia...” The alicorn bared her teeth evilly. “Then I’ll cut your neck with these very fangs!” Slightly insane creepy stare of the Mare in the Moon's dragon eyes at point-blank range finished the unvoiced continuation. “I... I u-understand your distrust, Nightmare.” Princess, shivering from this coming association, hastened to look away and, slowing, got up from her seat as well. “But... I’m honest: I love my sister and don't want her to be harmed.” Nightmare, sniffing distrustfully, stepped back, but made her face easier nonetheless. “And the same goes to you.” Leaning forward swiftly, Luna hugged the clueless interlocutor, which forced her into a stupor for a few moments. “Thanks for worrying about her as well. And for not refusing to help. Thank you a lot.” “E-e! You!.. Get back!.. Get off me!..” She mumbled in a dazed voice, becoming instantly less ominous, as she jerked back reflexively and tried to shove the Princess of the Night away shyly. Luna smiled. Someday she'll redeem herself - and then maybe she'll never see Nightmare Moon in an ugly mask of evil again, getting to see her... like this. Alive. Someday... Princess hesitated, releasing the black alicorn, who immediately took a step back and stared at her with a complex mix of emotions on her face. Good thing if the Mare in the Moon hasn't been offended by this embrace - it was time to get back to business, after all. They both still had much to discuss... ... The Sun dropped swiftly over the horizon, replaced by the sluggishly crawling Moon, the dim lights of the stars lit up in the darkened sky... Luna sighed and stepped away from the balcony railing. She wanted to see the sunset, just like the old days! And not this dull cycle of day and night, which she got sick to death of... Another day has gone. Lessons, trainings, drugs... Nightmare Moon. Thinking, talking, making a plan for Luna's and Nightmare’s classes, settling some formalities... It was a very long and surprisingly good day, which left an aftertaste of time not being wasted in vain and some forward movement. Admittedly, Luna has not been in such high spirits for a long time, even though it was rather difficult to communicate with her guest. And yet Nightmare's presence gave her some confidence, that now she could make amends and atone for her terrible mistake, and even the unhappy Mare in the Moon's caustic reminders of it were almost gratefully received by Princess. She is here, she has agreed to help, she can be met face to face - which meant that her hatred was not so strong and uncompromising, which meant that something could be done! But it's a matter of the future. For now, they managed to discuss some domestic issues, establish the status of a guest at the Night Court, offer to attend classes and training together, agree to meet tomorrow to discuss in more detail how and what Luna would teach her. Admittedly, the upcoming conversation was very unnerving: although Nightmare already seemed to suspect from the words of trust what methods the former lord of dreams was going to resort to, but what, when it would be said outright? The possibility of a categorical refusal was frankly frightening - that's why Princess did not dare to bring up the subject today, hoping to get used to each other at least a little, so as not to cause a completely uncompromising negative reaction. Well, it has borne fruit: Nightmare, after her outburst at this morning's meeting, has clearly calmed down a bit and was at least somewhat reconciled to the need to work together - it gave Luna a timid hope that tomorrow's conversation at least would not lead to an immediate breakup and departure of the Mare in the Moon. She did not notice how she returned to her bedroom and even prepared to go to sleep, but she woke up to reality only after she automatically turned off the overhead lights, plunging the room into a pleasant semi-darkness, dispersed only by a pair of bedside lamps. Well... Is there really any point in guessing now? Tomorrow everything will be clear - and it's up to her, Luna, to find the right words. The alicorn settled on the huge round bed, sighed, and shut the lights, plunging the room into complete darkness. It was time to face her nightmares once more, to suffer their retribution as she deserved by her deeds... *** “Greetings, Nightmare. Good morning!” “You wanted to talk.” She went to business right off the bat, responding to the welcoming only by a slight dissatisfied nod. “Yes.” Luna confirmed, furiously suppressing the feeling of a slight vexation at this reaction to her sincere greeting. “I wanted... To show you something. And also, to discuss the beginning of our training.” The Princess, gesturing for her guest to follow, unhurriedly clattered her shoes down the corridor. “By the way, what have you decided about the joint learning?” “No way.” The black mare, saying this, followed her, who, contrary to expectations, did not keep pace with Princess, but, on the contrary, lagged behind by more than half a bulk, either out of a desire to distance herself, or out of fear of letting her out of her sight. Luna closed her eyes for a moment, taking another wordless reproach. “But why?..” It seems that she still did not manage to hold a note of dissatisfaction. “The level of knowledge. The learning programs should be different.” Nightmare explained with a sigh, as if explaining it for the tenth time to a silly foal. “Magic and flights - could be worth a shot, but language, history, economics, law and etiquette are surely off the table. But if you send your teachers to me with a different program, to a different level of knowledge - I won't refuse.” “I’ll be learning, but away from you!” The Princess of the Night interpreted her words’ meaning droopingly. Shook hear head, getting rid of the pitiful thought: she shouldn't look for a false bottom! Nightmare said everything on business, after all! And, of course, there was no unwillingness to see each other... She sighed, feeling a gnawing feeling on the inside: for some reason there was absolutely no way to convince herself. “Of course, you're right. I’ll make the arrangements, don't worry.” Luna answered, taking a grip on herself, turned around and stopped pace to finally give her guest some time to catch up. It was uncomfortable, and also tactless to talk like that, and the gaze that was fixed on the back of her head made Luna feel uneasy. “When you were on the Moon and you didn't answer for a long time, you used to say, "Don't worry," too. Well, the maker won’t tell you anything bad, would she? So, I didn't bother. Till it was too late.” The words, spoken in a detached, phlegmatic tone, whipped at her heart like a whip with hooks, making Princess stiffen, hindering her breathing, whilst the world before her eyes began to blur. “Don't just stand there - you’ll get cold.” Her hind left leg was slightly nudged. “You were going to show me something - come on.” “Y-yes, of c-course.” Luna said in a shaky voice, furtively wiping away the tears, continuing on her way uncertainly. Nightmare, not managing to catch up to her even now, hummed noticeably, starting to clip-clop with hooves behind. That was another reminder of what she was and what she meant to her... So mundane, so indifferent... "The Maker will not tell you anything bad"! How Nightmare trusted her!.. And how she was repaid for that trust... But enough regrets! Princess clenched her teeth and took a few deep, quick breaths. Nightmare was now with her again, here - and there was a chance. This time she will do it right! ... “And what is it?” The dissatisfaction in the voice of the black alicorn, with a deliberately lean face, frozen in the aisle and looking at the considerable size of the completely empty hall, was almost palpable. “Sister, in her keen creative impulse, took this place as a dressing room..." Luna said with a slight doubt in her voice, amazed to herself again at the grand scale of the enormous room. Echo repeated her words with an agreed doubt. “Both floors of “Carousel” are about one and a half if not two times smaller than this one. Why that much space?..” Nightmare rubbed her forehead with a thoughtful perplexity. Echo agreed with her as well. “Tia wished that I would have nothing to worry about, that I would be happy, that I would have a home of my own that will have everything I need." The Princess of the Night said, her voice lowered involuntarily, as if trying not to attract the attention of the sensitive echo, that reigned in the hall. “I have all of this... While you sleep in some basement on a bench in the corner! It shouldn't be like that!” “It shouldn't be like that!” The echo nodded with agreement, forcing Luna to lay down her ears involuntary and lower her voice. “So... This hall is all yours. I’ll order to rebuild it so it would be a worthy bedroom and whatever else, you might need. Just let me know. I’m not going to let you suffer from not having a normal house, thus my court will be your house as for me just by a move of your wing!” The alicorn tapped her shoe on the floor, as if to dot her own words. “Well, living with you under the same roof is all I need to be happy, yes." Snorted Nightmare Moon, rolling her eyes, clearly not feeling Princess's speech. “If you don't know what to do - put your statues, a dozen of them. And hang portrays of you all over the walls. And hang a sign on the door: “The best pony in the Universe!” “B-but why?!..” The Mare in the Moon's sarcastic refusal suddenly stung her heart, causing a kind of bitter confusion in her soul. This was not how it was supposed to work! She has... done the right thing... “You see, blue one, home is not just where you sleep, but where you're welcomed and loved. Who will meet me here, when I would open the door, soaked from the rain, cold, tired and hungry? You? Now that’s fun.” Nightmare chuckled sadly and, slowing a bit, stepped out into the corridor. “That’s fun!” Echo smiled evilly at Luna, who was left in deserted loneliness. ... “I’m not taking my words back, no matter what you think.” Closing the door behind her gently, the gloomy Princess of the Night stepped out into the corridor. “Just let me know and I’ll find an architect and... A dresser of the rooms for you.” “An interior designer.” Lost in her own thoughts, Nightmare corrected her mechanically, and came back to reality. Just how she remembers all these hard new words?.. “Is it all you wanted to show? Maybe we should get down to business?” The black alicorn's disgruntled gaze traveled across the pony's figure opposite her, stopping for a moment at the face. Luna turned away, biting her lip in nervous reverie. Aside from the fact, that it was the right thing to do, she was also counting on the Mare in the Moon's high spirits after the gift. But now? Revealing obviously not the most pleasant nuances, that have a good chance of interfering with her upcoming studies as they were?.. “Bufan, yfel frînan êow...” The nervous alicorn stumbled, catching herself on a luxuriant old pronunciation.” I beg you... Please: do you really still think, that I want to end my poor sister, to come into possession of the throne under your cover and setting you up?” “Does it matter?” She moved a tip of her mouth and twitched her ears in displeasure. “I have no doubt that you can do such a thing. Do you wanna? Only Abyss knows.” “No. Never!” “Words.” The interlocutor sniffed disdainfully to Luna, leaning forward in an emotional hit. “And let’s get back to the business!” “Fine.” Princess exhaled, closing her eyes for a moment. No. Nothing should be revealed yet. No vows to do no harm, no vows not to allow herself anything beyond what was truly necessary, Nightmare would not accept now - and would probably just go away. And something more, something weightier and more meaningful is simply not there... But wouldn't silence make things worse? Wouldn't it raise a question: “Why didn't you say it in the first place?”.. “Before we proceed with your teachings, I will describe to you some of its difficulties." Luna said, having made up her mind, a little hastily, catching the impatient look of her companion and, judging by her facial expression, almost preempting some kind of taunt. “The hardest part in the magic of dreams is the beginning. How...” She mused, finding an analogy. “The study of any skill is a ladder, but sleepwalking is a ladder that has no first steps. And one must be able to climb up to the first rung of the ladder. It took me more than a month to do this when I felt the need to learn this difficult skill.” “I doubt that we have this much time.” With an expression of slight disappointment, Nightmare leaned back and shook her head, looking at her interlocutor doubtfully. “I had been learning everything by a book, myself. By the book, written by a pony very poetic and wordy indeed.” Luna twitched her wings, remembering the style, which was monstrous for such a book, full of transitions to abstract themes, reflections by the author and colorful metaphors. Definitely, the ancient wizard was a strong one, but he had absolutely no scientific mind... “And there was no need to be in a hurry then. “You're tenacious and you do understand why do you need it - I’m sure you’ll be able to make it faster, Nightmare. And I hope, that I’d explain everything needed clearly and rightly.” “Hm... And what problem do you have, you - if we're using your comparison – who had climbed this ladder?” “I had and I was thrown back down, this time without the talent, which helped me. The talent, which I’m no longer worthy of.” Princess sighed. “I remember what and how to do, but there’s no longer proper delicacy and power. Now I can't catch the right state of mind...” “And I’d get it right off the bat.” The skepticism in the black mare’s voice could be drawn out by a spoon. “Of course.” The former ruler of dreams smiled shyly at... A student? “Tell me, Nightmare, have you ever felt that fine line, that separates dream from reality? The feeling that this is the moment when you fall asleep? How does sleep come?” “Hm...” She raised her eyebrows. “Well... A couple of times, if I’m thinking what you're thinking. I woke up instantly and couldn't fall asleep for a while afterwards.” “Here is the most difficult part: to feel this boundary - and to stay on it without waking up abruptly or falling asleep. When you are able to stand so firmly, that magic can be created, you have passed the most difficult first step.” “Sleeping soundly without falling asleep and waking up.” Nightmare Moon chuckled. “Sounds... Peculiar. I don't know why, but I want to try it for some reason.” “Because it’s yours.” Luna smiled. “And catching this borderline state will become easy and habitual with time.” “So the first point of the plan is to catch the feeling without falling asleep while trying..." The excitement on the Mare in the Moon's face dissolved before Luna's eyes, replaced by an unhappy, tense thoughtfulness. “Damn it, I'll probably just pass out ‘till the morning and then wait all day for the evening to try again... Yeah... I can see why it took you so long." She chuckled sadly. “This is why it will be the second point of the plan.” The Princess of the Night nodded, not being able to hold a smile with ends of her lips. “And first you need to learn how to fall asleep at any desired moment, not just when you are feeling sleepy. And to do it without any external assistance, be it a drink or medicine. In the meantime, I will try to climb that impregnable ladder again. And the first one of us to do it, will help the second one... by sending... the necessary feeling through the dream, so that she will feel and remember it.” “There’s a feeling, that we will spend at least three months on it.” Nightmare Moon mumbled under her breath, sighing quietly. “But maybe it's better than doing nothing at all. We’ll try.” 46. Tungsten of ScienceAuthor's Note "Sleep is a science in itself! If you can sleep - do it. You never know when the next possibility of it will appear..." Original author's note. 46. Tungsten of Science “...Nightmare!...” “M?.. A?!” “You're doing not bad already, well done! But it's too early to stop. Try once more.” “Ye-a-a-ah...” I yawned with a crunch, opening my chops wide, rubbed my eyes with the back of my wrist and stared glumly at Luna. No, I understand that it is necessary, that it’s practice... But it already pisses me off! And then my head is all dizzy, square and aching, after all these "fall asleep - wake up - repeat". But at least I’m getting a little bit better at it now... One would ask: what kind of study is it to learn to fall asleep quickly? At first, I dismissed it with a chuckle - like a bullshit question. Fell asleep, woke up, and did it again - what's the big deal? But when you stop sleeping properly because of this training, because the body wakes up every fifteen minutes by itself, the bastard, that's when you realize the whole lowdown. I yawned long and hard again, slamming my mouth shut with a knock and wiping away my coming tears. I looked around the room in a blurry glance. We studied, as usual, in Luna's bedroom: the giant round bed was perfect for studying dream magic. Luna is showing off. Lotus eater. She even has three pillows! I sighed quietly: I want that too! The bed in the guest quarters was, of course, suitable in height, and in fact a double bed, but it’s still somewhat limited in maneuverability. And there were only two pillows on it! I took another look at the blue one, which put a hoof onto "Principles of Optimizing Energy-Consuming Magical Structures" and was looking at me with feigned sympathy, sighed, putting my head on the pillow and making myself comfortable. I shut my eyes. It has been about a week since I arrived - the answer to even this question didn't seem obvious because of my completely disrupted sleep patterns. Thanks God – it was not in vain: I was able to knock myself out quite steadily yesterday, even if only under certain conditions for the time being. Well, it was hardly a matter of principle - this is a castle, after all - the conditions will be as they are needed, it's not difficult here. Princess, rushing like a fire, took the day to consolidate the material, and tomorrow she promised to start loading me up with attempts to climb that ladder to the dream realm. I didn't feel much ready myself yet. I felt that I was fed up with it, and that I wanted to sleep, not this, for fuck’s sake! And to talk to someone! Not about business, not about studies, just about stuff, God damn it! Share successes and failures, chitchat about... cooking recipes, for example, I don't know! But with whom here? With the teachers? With the Luna's blockheads? With herself? Yeah... It’s so... Wistful here, sometimes it almost brings me to tears. You crawl into your room after a busy day, take a shower, go out into a huge, empty and silent room, and under its five-meter-high ceilings among the luxurious, but government-issue furniture you acutely feel, that nobody cares about you. While you have been working your ass off all day, doing something that could be completely and utterly worthless, under the guidance of someone and with goals from the “who fucking knows” book. Maybe it's all smoke and mirrors? Is Luna really going to teach me? I wish someone would just come in and ask: “Nightmare, how are you? How is it going?” But who cares about me here... I curled up and covered my head with my wing. I've had enough of this bullshit! I want to go home, back to Rar and to the others... Sweetie would get my hair done, but I'm just walking around with my hair combed and my mane in a ponytail, which is only slightly less disheveled. And letting Luna's servants close... Nope, it’s not worth it! If Sweetie... I'd agree even for a bow! And Pinkie is probably... “Nightmare?.. How are you? Is everything alright?” My wing was shyly touched from outside. Everything is great! You blue idiot! “Get lost!” My own voice sounded pitiful for some reason. Damn it!.. “Sorry, I... Overdid with the trainings. Please, tell me what can I do for you?” “Remove this sympathetic tone - I won't believe it anyway.” I said dully, overcoming my reluctance to respond. She sets my teeth on the edge! “And leave me alone!” “You can swear and blaspheme me for this..." I felt the bed sag, and then I was gently hugged by a wing. "But I won't leave you like this, Nightmare.” Judging by the voice, Luna smiled. Incomprehensive scumbag! Damn it! I gritted my teeth and irritatedly shoved her wing off with mine, looking out from under it at the same time. Yeah, smiling, sympathetic, all that stuff. Devious bastard. “If thou art in no possessio of the Equestrian lingua, which is used to sprecan nowadayes - Yfel hlêotan ġenōg cnāwan of the old language, If in the emptiness of your mind, like speaking to a vissen, there is only way for it: go away from me, you flattering and vile brat!” What a plethora, hey!.. My mood even rose a bit. I chuckled, looking at the somewhat lost expression on the blue one's face. Beautiful... “I... Fine.” She stepped back with a sigh. “Nightmare, I’m really trying to help. Please, tell me what I can do for you?” I turned away, laying my head on the other side. The mood I'd lifted went back down again. Damn it, blue, who do you take after to be so... bullheaded? I was angry, I snapped at her - sometimes unintentionally, sometimes on purpose... And somehow, I started to feel a certain respect for her: Luna, no matter how much my words hurt her - and they hurt her visibly - she was like an unshakable rock, answering my curses with silence or with all those "sorry" and "please"! And getting the real her out from under that armor, with her real words and thoughts about me, leads to nothing, making me feel more and more like an insulting, self-assertive, dumb shithead to a good and kind pony. Now, how to... Damned horse! I couldn't get revenge, and now I have no idea what to do with her at all! I flicked her once with a weak lightning bolt, when I was fed up with her, she only flinched in pain, looked at me like a beaten dog... begged forgiveness. I still feel like I'm covered in slop... S-bitch, ah... Why is that?!.. I... I don't know what to do with her or how to live. I don't know and I don't want to know! I don't want anything! I want to go home... “Don't be sick at heart, Nightmare. “You can always invite your friends over to spend some time together, if you’d like." Luna's voice made me wince in surprise. Did I really say that out loud?.. “Or you might go to them yourself. But I beg you: not for long! We... We don’t have much time.” I froze, digesting the thought. Escape to Ponyville to take a few days off... Good thought, why didn't I think about that myself? “I don't know what you'll get out of it, but thanks for the idea." I muttered, thinking about the schedule and what a nice surprise it would be for Rar if I showed up like this, with some presents, too. “You are welcome, Nightmare. Be happy.” How can you hate her properly after that?.. What a scumbag you are, blue one... “It's better for us to continue." I mumbled gloomily, turning to Luna again and pulling on my front leg, which was a little stiff from the uncomfortable position I was in. Hell with these thoughts... ... “... Can be read about this question. And the first one is even necessary, as it is probably the most complete description of today's topic.” “Thanks. I hope I'd be able to find time for it.” I sighed, suppressing a yawn, rubbing my forehead. My head is buzzing. “So, until Thursday?” “Yeah, of course. Goodbye, Your Grace. I mean...” Endless Scroll hesitated - my guide in the world of jurisprudence and Equestrian law. “Don't take offense...” “It’s okay. Just go.” I chuckled. Yeah, “Grace” in Nightmare Moon’s address sounds really impressive... The mare, with a brief bow, hurried to follow the advice. I followed her with a long glance. Loaded me, damn it... The news was of the "what the hell now" variety. It was my own fault, of course, that it was news to me - I could have made up my mind to study the subject. I had tried, though, at first, but both times Twilight had very inopportunely taken the necessary codes right out from under my nose. As a result, I gave up, and then I was too busy and forgot about it. And now, taking into account the news, I have a vague suspicion, that someone directly advised our purple nerd to keep this literature away from me, just in case. The thing is that an incomprehensible scarecrow and an incomprehensible scarecrow aware of his quite considerable status are, after all, two big differences... I'm a high-born, blue-blooded aristocrat, and, in fact, the fifth person in the state, so to speak. Not bad, ay! And that's because any Equestrian I-have-horn-and-wings person has an a priori title equal to the maximum for any other pony of any other race. I think Tia wrote this law for Luna, so that she wouldn't have any problems when she returned to Equestria at all. But in the end, Tia created a problem for herself, when I was brought back here as well, and I fit into this law quite well... Well, what are you gonna do? It’s not my fault. I sniffed and laughed shortly, shaking my head. In sum, my current title of "Princess acquired" is equal in status to that of "pony-Prince" in Blueblood, although the latter has a higher priority in the succession to the throne. Only Cadence, the "Crown Princess," and Tia herself and Luna, the "reigning Princesses," have a higher status. Interestingly, in Equestrian, these three Princess titles, worn exclusively by Alicorns, are a single word, slightly differing in prefix and not the same as "Prince-pony" Bluesy, which literally means "deputy of Queen" or something like that, rather than "heir to the throne". In general, the duties are quite appropriate: to temporarily take charge of the country, if at the moment there is suddenly no one else to do so. The titles of alicorns are derived from "Princess," which is "heiress," and, interestingly enough, this word is exclusively feminine in modern Equestrian. So, a hypothetical alicorn stallion would be a Princess by title, so to speak. I chuckled. Well, back to rights and responsibilities... The guards can only wag a finger at me. No, not even that, for lack of a body part... Ahem, yes... The guards can't, anyway. Not without a direct order from the Reigning Princess, because only the bearer of that title, which is Tia, has the right to judge and punish me - as well as Cadence and Bluesy. Or Luna... Yeah, I can understand it... You can't deny Tia's wisdom. Perhaps it's not a bad thing that I only found out about it now, or else I might have gotten carried away by it... I wondered before why the local authorities didn't react to my antics, but I considered it a separate request from Celestia, and it turned out to be all in the paper, and it had been for a long time, though it’s far from common knowledge for those who don’t work in the field of law. Of all the people I knew in Ponyville, Twilight seemed to be the only one who knew anything, since neither Rar nor Applejack, who were definitely savvy enough to run their own business, were aware of it. Rar would have said otherwise for sure. And would have bowed, yep... Rarity, presenting herself with a bow after every word and looking ingratiatingly in my eyes, poking her nose into everything she can. I shivered. Na-ah, she's not that strange! We're friends, why would she... She’d better find about it later. I was planning to fly out to hug the unicorn the day after tomorrow, by the way. Luna wanted to give me new material for tomorrow, in the hope that maybe I'd get some practice in Ponyville in the couple of days I’m going to be there. I don't know... And I didn't want to miss the joint flight training: the stern gray-haired old man, who has been Luna's - and now my too - instructor knew his job very well. But he looked at both of us like we were piles of shit. I chuckled, glanced thoughtfully around my temporary office - impressed once again by the decoration and scale - and involuntarily shuddered, when I looked at the figure, frozen in the doorway. "Silent little shit." I mentally scolded the familiar dark purple mouse-winged mare in her night guard armor. “Sorry if I disturbed your thoughts.” She bowed, noticing my attention. “Mistress Luna sends you an invitation to dinner in half an hour in the private dining room.” It’s the same thing every day... Hasn't she had enough? I opened my mouth for the usual refusal, but, frozen for a second by the sudden idea, I answered, seeming to surprise the thestral: “Say, I agree. And to the cook, a wish to see a fish dish on the table.” “I apologize, but...” The messenger bowed abruptly, hesitating a bit. “I fear it's beyond ponies’ power to find and cook fish in 30 minutes! If you wish, then for the tomorrow's dinner... And... Are you sure?” I was looked at by somewhat doubtful and a bit panicking gaze. “What’s the problem?” I rose a brow. “But you're... Sorry... Not a night pony! I mean, of course, a night one, but not the night as we are, but...” The guardian started to talk fast with increasing panic in her eyes. “Sorry, I mean!... M-m-m!..” “I’m not a thestral. Go on.” I unclenched the telekinesis’ grab on the pony's muzzle. What a good way to put a word in, after all. Practical. I hope I didn't slam her tongue... “Only thestrals, of all the ponies, are carnivorous! And you, well... you are more like a day pony?.. Sorry, I...” “Maybe I just wanted to try it?” I interrupted the guardian, chuckling. “Just for fun. You know, curiosity has been gnawing at my heart for a while, and the only meat you have here is your guards and some servants...” “O-okay! Everything will be done!” The thestral bowed with enthusiasm. Dashed a drop of sweat away from her forehead. “Good. Then less bones and a small portion. For starters.” Fangs are fangs, but who knows if I would like it... And why did I remember about fish just now? ... “Good evening, Nightmare. Glad to see you.” Luna plausibly feigned a warm smile Nodding in response, I took my seat across from her. Two different salads, flowers, and for decoration, if you like, an appetizer, a pitcher of some berry juice, judging by the color, and a bowl of porridge. Also, a knife, three spoons, two forks, and two napkins. I wouldn't have remembered all of this if not this... One ordinary fork would be enough for everything - but no, they had to make it complicated and show off all sorts of unnecessary stuff! “Condiments?” The alicorn looked up at me as the hostess of our humble dinner, without the help of servants, and put porridge on her plate. “Mushroom sauce.” “You're welcome!” A plate filled with fragrant porridge and mushroom gravy and garnished with lettuce leaves and dill came down on the table in front of me. “Enjoy your meal, Nightmare.” I nodded again, and then held my gaze on the spoons. I took the porridge spoon, the one that was a little deeper and less elongated. Show offs, yeah... And it's inevitable that I'll have to do the same with the title I have now, one way or another. Damn it. I would be glad to forget about this gibberish, but... When in Rome, do as the Romans do, after all. And it is better to say hell with it, knowing what you're saying hell to and not just out of stupidity. Tasty! Not what Spike cooked at Twi's home... No, he could cook, and not bad, but how can you cook something that's initially inedible? Semolina with jam – I’d kill the person who thought that this was a good idea... “Thanks for accepting my invitation.” Luna tilted her head with feigned thankfulness and a slight smile, that should be shown during such occasions, when we finished the main course. “I'm glad to be able to spend this dinner with someone.” Pfft... If you're so worried about being alone at dinner, you should order strippers, man, I don't know... I stumbled at my own thought. Does she... I mean, she feels the same way I do, right?.. Same teachers, same servants, same guards. Her secretary, the head of the guards, but she is “Her Majesty” to them. And me. I don't see them communicating with Tia... Ah, yes, she's traveling around the country right now, if I’m not mistaken... But I have Ponyville. Rar, Sweetie, Pinkie, Scoot, Flutty. Maybe even AJ... But there’s nowhere to go for Luna, right?.. I shook my head evilly. It’s her problems! She could have!.. I don't know... A-a, damn it... “...?” “What? I got distracted.” I shook my head again, snapping back in reality. Finally, a blue one's question to me even rose my mood a bit. “What do you want to eat?” I was looked at with a slight concern. “This.” I waved with a fore leg half-heartedly towards the left bowl with a salad. “I... Tell me, why did you agree to come by today? Here, you're welcome.” The bowl with the chosen dish was lowered before me. I wanted to see your flattering face, damn. I nodded somberly, restraining my emotions and suppressing the urge to send the blue one inquiring to the places where God hasn't been to. As a matter of fact, I wouldn't have come without a reason... “Because I wanted to rent one of your blockheads to run to Ponyville and bring me my money.” “Oh, there’s no need in doing this.” The blue one emphasized a smile. “If you need something, that is absent in the castle, I’ll order it immediately. Or finance it - no matter how much.” “I don't need your freaking money! I have to lay my hooves on mine, and make it before my departure to Ponyville! And your ponies aren't delicate flower girls, one flight shouldn’t be a problem.” Luna sighed and looked somewhere out the window thoughtfully. “I... I understand that you are inclined to see any gift of mine as throwing a bone and an attempt to buy myself a pardon, but... But can't I do so out of the goodness of my heart, without any selfish motives, only wishing to help you sincerely? There is so much money in the... bank in my name that I can easily buy a small town; my sister took care of it long ago. But what do I need it for? At least let them serve you well!” The alicorn turned and stared in my eyes from under her brows with stubbornness. I stared back unblinking. What a concrete idiot, damn it!.. Can't you just do as you've been told? She's got it in her head that I want something from her, and now she's sticking her nose in every hole with her "help"! She's the person I don't want to get any gifts from for sure!.. But, of course, it would be easier and faster... Damn it! For a few seconds I tried to put the thought out of my head. I rolled my jaw, and exhaled through my teeth. Fuck with it. I’ll just pay it away with mine. I don't want to make a big deal out of it... I blinked, returning to reality. Luna, surprisingly, never took her eyes off me, but she looked sad, sympathetic, and, it seemed, with grief, carefully hidden in the depths of her soul. Are our eyes the same color? “Fine, Nightmare, I...” “Okay, abyss with you...” We started to talk at the same time. We became wordless, looking at each other in anticipation. “What are you looking at?” I snapped with dissatisfaction. “Be proud of yourself - you've persuaded me. Get your money here.” “Will be happy to help.” The blue one masked her triumphal grin by a warm smile. “When and how much do you need?” “Tomorrow, can do it today. I don't have a clue how much. I know nothing about local prices.” I mumbled it like a tongue-twister. Keep calm, I’ll pay it back afterwards! She was just about to give me gifts... “I know partially. What are you going to buy?” “Lots of things...” I mused. Alas, for some of the items, the ideas did not occur to me... Well, I hope I will not fail. “Expensive and rare fabrics, a scooter - sturdy and reliable, a thing, this..." I wiggled my foot, trying to remember the name, waving it away hopelessly. “For making milkshakes. And...” I bit my lip and dove into nervous thoughts: I can't think of the thing I want to gift to Sweetie. She loves to sing, but she's a little shy, and she hides her eyes when she notices she's not alone. A ticket to opera? Na-ah... A microphone? For that shy girl? I don't know... The unicorn also loved to make me beautiful: with a noticeable pleasure from the process and from the result, she made me all sorts of hairstyles, and gradually began to drive wedges on the subject of makeup, sighing, as if incidentally, about "the incomplete image without this mascara and this shadow". I've been slipping away from this for the time being... The only thing that came to mind as a normal gift was a barber's kit with scissors and, I don't know, a comb, for example... But using scissors to cut hair, even those quite adapted to ponies, required a specific training of hoofkinesis, for the more accessible everyday grip with the mouth for a barber was not good enough. She had no telekinesis, which could reliably get rid of all these problems... And that was in addition to the fact, that it takes more than just holding scissors to cut hair beautifully. Anything on the subject of manicures then? Yeah, and who's the first person she's going to go get a manicure on? Yeah, that's the thing... What else? She was also enthusiastic about going to school, which, now that Tiara and Spoon have left her in peace, seems to have become her favorite place in Ponyville. But I wouldn't gift her a textbook, would I?.. I rubbed my forehead with fury and rested my head with my hooves. I don't know! “Not a textbook”, “not a textbook”, hm... Hm!.. “...?” Luna's voice, with a hint of concern, broke through my mind, trying to bring me back to reality. “Fine...” I mumbled, grinning. I've got a thought! “Nightmare?” “Yeah, I’m here.” Erasing the smile from my face, I looked at the alicorn, now with thoughtfulness. “What do you need?” “You started to muse mid-word. Maybe I can help you with something?” “You can, you can actually...” I nodded slowly. The money is just half of the adventure. Beside it, I could use some responsible fellows to buy everything - I don't think I should go into town just yet. I don't know Canterlot, and, oddly enough, Canterlot doesn't know me. A newspaper is a newspaper, but how many people read it? And how many took it as a fact - in Ponyville, ninety percent of the inhabitants must have seen me in person at least once, anyway?.. It would be better if I do this myself, of course... Okay, I’ll think about it. I could always tail my agent to be my guide, if only I had an agent. “You can, you can...” I repeated slowly. “Everything from it should be bought. I could use someone who knows the city, knows about these things, and can buy something nice, something that I wouldn't be ashamed to look at. Otherwise, I'm afraid I'll spend a week looking around the city for the right stores with the right things...” “Don't worry, I'll send the right ponies to you, and you can tell them exactly what you need. I'm sure they won't let you down." The blue one smiled, but then frowned: “And... If it's possible... Please, Nightmare, refrain from going out into the city in person. I mean, I don't intend to forbid you, but it seems to me...” “Well, I wasn't going to." I interrupted Luna, whose thoughts seemed to coincide with my own. She once mentioned, that some ponies run away from her too... They are right, in fact: if Luna is near, there will be trouble, personally tested... “Thank you for understanding.” She tilted her head, seeming to breathe a sigh of relief, as if she was glad that she didn't have to explain or justify this request to me. I nodded, turning back to my meal, and the alicorn followed suit, picking up her spoon as well. That's right. It's always the plain and simple "eating", that turns into endless dramatic conversations... “Nightmare, would you mind my asking?” Luna caught my attention again as I finally, under the timid dreams of tomorrow's fish, finished my lean salad, which was lean even by the ponies’ standard. “You can try.” I defiantly put the empty bowl aside with a hoof, sighing. With food this depressing, it's no wonder you want to get away from it for a while, at least for conversation. Yeah, Tia had a better cook... Or I was hungrier then. “M-m, I can, right?” Luna laid back her ears shyly. “Such different items... These are gifts, right? For friends?” You're too smart, Luna. People don’t like that. “Something like that. But these are lousy gifts - they’ll be bought with your money and with your servants’ choice...” I cringed for a moment. “And still!” The enthusiastic pony even stood up from her seat, leaning her front legs on the tabletop. “I guess it’s so nice to have friends! I’m so happy for you! And... To be honest - I’m a little jealous.” She sat back, her eyes downcast. “Jealous, “happy for you”...” With a slight irritation, I moved my gaze away from my interlocutor to the second bowl of salad, the contents of which were securely hidden by a layer of sour cream on top. Damn it... “Friendship means trust, blue one, and it's very hurtful for your health to trust sometimes. I’m speaking from experience, trust me. And after all, you had a friend back on the Moon. You had.” Luna shivered and hid her gaze. “And it burns me inside with eternal flame.” She answered dully. “I would give a lot to turn back time and..." The alicorn sighed wistfully and sighed hopelessly without finishing. Good words without good deeds are... I chuckled quietly. I glanced around the room, which was enveloped in dense silence. A round table with a cream-colored tablecloth. Again, instead of dinner some nonsense came out... On the walls - wallpaper of luxurious appearance and texture in the color of the tablecloth with some silvery monograms in the picture. Decorative "pillar-like" columns in the corners, one of which is supposedly wrapped in an artificial vine that sprawls beautifully on the wall, figured moldings under the ceiling, an eight-light crystal chandelier, polished parquet in milk chocolate color, curtains on... “Nightmare...” Breaking the silence, Luna pulled me away from my viewing. “I think you can trust your friends. Fortunately, there are only few ponies, capable of an atrocity such as the one I committed. And since they already believed in you no matter what, they won't abandon you.” Alicorn forced a smile. “I've never had anyone believe in me like that until now, except my sister and maybe Cadence... I think it’s not an enigma...” I even felt sorry for drooping Princess for a moment, gazing at her. “Yeah, sad to hear.” I commented in a flat, unemotional tone, and inwardly I was furiously eradicating the feeling. You wanted to be alone on the Moon - be alone, then! Stupid horse... Dinner was finished in uncomfortable silence. 47. Recumbence of Soul“That’s all folks, bye-bye! I’ll be on my own from now forth, we’ll meet down there!” I shouted to the pegasi and, opening my wings to the onrushing current, flew off the chariot hurriedly, almost jerkily, but the chariot just went on. Yee-haw!!! I went into a sharp left turn, descending toward the haze-shrouded town. I was enjoying the rushing stream, that was hitting me in the face, ruffling my mane and playing with my feathers. Freedom! I smiled carelessly, pushing my lips together again as I felt my cheeks puff up in an instant. I imagined what it looked like, chuckled and started to shudder, trying to laugh without opening my mouth. A few more downward spirals, braking, and a slightly sloppy, "Like a sack, forgive me Celestia! F! Again!”, landing on the faintly tickling grass of the pads of my feet on that familiar and known lakeside hill. Hello, Ponyville! It feels like home! And I think it is really home... I walked around, enjoying the sensation, smoothing my disheveled mane as best I could, trimming my feathers so that they lay nicely. Took out one, that clearly intended to fall out soon. Straightened my usual bags. Well, I guess that's all there is to it - there's absolutely nothing else to do for appearance... “Ma'am?” I turned towards the voice of the silver-gray pegasus from the pair on whose wings I've come most of the way. The light yellow eyes stared at me with obvious reproach. “Where to unload? Do you need help delivering it?” The winged-one left his reproach in his mouth. I glanced towards the chariot parked nearby, in which the second pegasus was gently tugging my luggage. It consisted of four heavy rolls and two even heavier boxes. I could, of course, use telekinesis, though six objects... No, it would be easier to take the rolls as one to three and... No, listen. I don't want to be accidentally distracted and drop the cloth into the river, or break the shaker on the sidewalk. Risk is a noble thing, but I'm more afraid for the gifts than for my reputation. “I think I do.” I nodded, drawing a conclusion. They dismantled the cargo, formed a wedge with me at the head, and moved towards the town. The pegasi grabbed the boxes, leaving me with the cloth. Thinking about it, I put two rolls under my wings and pressed them to my sides. Not the height of comfort, but bearable. Like carrying a two liter bottle under my armpit. Ah, Ponyville! I squeezed my eyes shut, took a deep breath. I kind of... missed it. The monumental rooms and corridors of the castle, unfriendly, uninhabited, deprived of those trifles and details that distinguish a living space from a non-residential - in addition to a pinching sense of its abandonment and uselessness... They pressed like a gravestone. It was like living in a museum: luxurious, sterile, and silent until your ears squeaked, until you wanted to scream - just so there would be some sounds, like... like there. And no one in the whole world to come to that scream... I shuddered. The servants, who were all so neutrally neutral and glassy-eyed. Luna's blockheads, just like she - always so falsely friendly and compassionate. Only now do I realize how much I really wanted to get away from there... “Ma'am?” “M? I was wondering a bit.” I shook my head and realized, that I’m standing next to a crossroad. It seems I was in thought for a while if they yanked me. Ahem, yeah... “Left.” We turned. The town is just around the corner. The streets will begin soon. “Greetings, Nightmare!” “Good day!” “Hello. Hello!” The greetings of random passersby spread like honey over my soul, making me blissfully close my eyes. Not like at Luna's place... No, the guards welcomed me there, too, and even with a certain respect, but... I didn't trust their words and looks. Luna, by the way, took offense yesterday at another designation of her mouse-winged cubs as "blockheads". So she gave a little lecture on them, which wasn't uninteresting, I must say. It was not long after she and her sister began to rule Equestria. There’s the story. The elder of a distant tribe of pegasi asked Princesses to help them. They hadn't had won some unicorn's favor, and making things worse, he was a powerful dark magician, and he cursed the whole tribe. The poor pegasi couldn't eat properly, saw less and less each day, and their wings were gradually losing their strength. By the time they were able to give Princesses a request for help, they had already had their first deaths... A community of hundreds of five or seven ponies, living somewhere on the outskirts of Equestria, was almost doomed to extinction. So the pegasi messaged the request for help to Princesses. Not everyone made it... Princesses, of course, did not ignore what was happening. Moreover, given the complexity of the situation, they decided to personally come to the pegasus village and deal with everything on the spot. The curse was a tricky one - whatever the villagers had done to piss him off, the magician had spared no time or effort. As a result, Tia decided it was impossible to break his curse, and headed back out. No wonder so: after all, she could not leave the throne for long. Luna, on the other hand, did not want to leave with her sister, leaving the pegasi to die, and stayed behind. She spent nearly a month trying to save them, and she partially succeeded. She could not destroy the curse, but she was able to change and redirect its effect, so that the cursed pegasi turned into thestrals. Luna herself was so exhausted, that she nearly kicked the bucket and was left without magic for a few months. The freshly formed thestrals began to call her the Great One, or sometimes even the Great Mother, as a symbol of her selflessness in giving them all life. And they have also been her guards ever since, serving her until her exile - and, of course, they resumed their service when she returned, though they still live in isolation and have little contact with Equestria. I was also brought here with Luna, so the mice, who had fought a good fight in the past about which hypostasis of the Great Mother was greater, now had a problem with the debit and the credit... Well, it’s their problems. In addition to history, I learned a little about them. The thestrals can't see very well, especially in the light, but they have incredible hearing. They also fly a little differently than pegasi, but they're excellent at keeping their balance - some kind of vestibular feature. They can even sleep on the ceiling with their tails upside down! Haven't seen it myself yet, but Luna claims the truth is pure. Part of their magic or something... Normal ponies, if they work hard and practice, also have a tail and mane that's surprisingly agile, but thestrals have an easier time with it, and their devices work better. I'll have to check it out sometime, and see for myself. Interesting, God damn it! But the most interesting thing about them was their diet, which was close to a human's. That is, without outright grass, but with fish - towards omnivorousness. Something had to be changed so the cursed could eat... Luna was both proud and horrified by the solution, but she couldn't think of anything else, and there wasn't much time. And yet thestrals were ponies: they could eat meat, but the idea was clearly not their cup of tea. They ate fish, reconciling themselves with the peculiarities of their diet since childhood. Their ancient traditions, and the fact, that the fish of Equestria, despite the universal fashion for at least a very conventional, but reasoning among the local animals, was, in the manner of the Earth, completely dull, and could not ask not to eat itself. Well, it's great, because otherwise I would not have tried it either, because the impression was... very ambiguous. On the one hand - the smell and taste seemed quite familiar: the latter even a little unusual, but quite recognizable and pleasant. On the other hand... I felt very keenly, that the fish had recently been alive, swimming and not touching anyone - and it comes with a spice of painful, back-chilling creepiness, a forbidden interest in trying it. There wasn't even a comparison for the sensation. Something that, once you try it, you cut off your way back and realize it... and you can't refuse. I understand, that Nightmare has never even thought to try fish. But with the seasoning of such feelings and sensations, a piece of the fish was hard to fit in my throat, even despite the excellent taste and almost complete absence of bones. The cook has done his best. In general, the result was questionable, so I refused to add fish to the menu permanently, at least for now. In any case, up to now I have lived pretty well without fish and meat, although I have to eat a lot, especially after hard work. So... “Ma'am?” I woke up and looked around to find myself frozen ten paces away from “Carousel”. A sweet, lingering anticipation pervaded my soul. I'm... I'm home. “You can unload here. Thanks for the help!” I smiled radiantly at the pegasi, who stepped back in synchrony from my gratitude. “Happy to help...” The silvery gray flyer mumbled a bit nervously. After adjusting the rolls of cloth under my wings to make them more comfortable, I walked impatiently back and forth in front of the boutique, squinting my eyes at it and trying not to jump up and down while my companions carefully unloaded their burdens on the sidewalk. “Are we allowed to head back, ma’am?” “You are. A fair wind and a clear sky.” I nodded, turning around hurriedly. “Thanks.” Pegasus smiled shyly. “Same to you, ma’am!” The charioteers turned around simultaneously and started to clip-clop in the backward direction, bowing briefly. Following them with a gaze, I picked up the boxes with my magic, and danced towards the entrance to Rarity's house. “How are y...” The artistic greeting with a spectacular swing of the door hung in the air: the door did not give way. Closed?.. Wait.. I tugged stupidly on the door again, making sure that it was - yes - locked. It’s... Damn, I've never seen Rar, using lock on the door in the entire life! She just mentioned once, that it's needed if she is going to somewhere for a long time... “Fucking shit...” I mumbled under my breath, lowering the boxes onto the porch with accuracy and feeling the swiftly diving mood. Brilliant! I moved the rolls of cloth that have sharply begun to pull down and irritate me from under my wings to the crates, and walked back and forth, nervously whipping my tail at my sides. This wasn't the arrival I've expected... Damn it! What now? Walked again. I shook my head frantically, getting rid of the thought, that Rar was home - she just doesn't want to see me, so she shut herself in. No! I don't believe it! Da-amn... What the fuck, ay?.. And it has to happen with me. I can't get anywhere with these presents, and my friends are gone, and it stinks of smoke!.. I forced myself to stop and calm down. Don't be so fucking hysterical, you can't make any sense out of it. “Friends spread out”... Sighed. Hm, but it really did smell like soot. It was unpleasant, with a hint of sulfur, and I wondered why I hadn't noticed it before. I glanced at the few bystanders, no one seemed particularly worried about it. Well, okay, then... Catching myself trying to start circling nervously again, I went up to the porch and sat down next to my boxes. I have to think what to do... “Good day!” I nodded welcomingly at the cornflower-colored earthpony, who spotted me on the porch and hesitated, but headed my way nonetheless. “You're looking for Rarity, aren't you?” She asked shyly. “She and her friends have gone to... To tackle the dragon.” The pony laid back her ears, clearly showing her thoughts about this idea. “They are not here since yesterday. Celestia, I hope they’ll be back soon and in good state!..” She sighed. “They’ll manage, there’s no choice given.” I mumbled in a crumbled way, though I wasn't sure about what I said for even a bit. “Thanks, at least I know now...” Damn it! Rar, where did you poke your nose into?!.. It hasn't been warm and cozy at home? Dragon-fighter!.. Dragon-bruiser!.. Dragon-combatant, damn her!.. I should have flown out yesterday! And Pinkie!.. “I was happy to help.” The pony forced a smile. “Goodbye, I guess...” “Yeah, see you.” I replied slowly, being occupied more and more by the panic thoughts. What if dragon would just... Every single one of them?.. I should fly to them and!.. I, standing up jerkily, upped my leg for a step decisively. And froze. “To them”, yeah... Where to, smarty-pants? I can barely remember the dragon-beating episode, and there was a mountain in it... Well, it's a short walk from Ponyville to the whole ridge! Choose any pinnacle that sticks out and fly - maybe in a week you'll find the right one... Man, what should I do then?! Ask the way? Well, they'll poke me with a hoof in the direction of the mountains, saying "somewhere there," aha! And? Da-amned bi-itch, ay! Fucking shit! I slammed my hoof on the porch in anger, leaving a clearly visible splinter on the carefully painted boards. What the hell am I supposed to do? With a dull roar of helplessness, I threw myself up in the air with my wings. Maybe I would see the source of the smoke from high above, or at least understand the approximate direction. And then... I'll smear that scaly creature across the ridge like a lump of fucking plasticine! And if Rarity is!.. “Careful!” “Argh!” After a panicked scream, someone's body flew into me, knocking the air out of my lungs and painfully catching the edge of my right wing. The world in front of my eyes spun chaotically, showing now the sky, now the rapidly approaching houses... Fu-u-uck!!! Abruptly coming to my senses, I desperately worked my wings, trying to stop the chaotic spinning and level off. Come on! Come o-o-on!!! “A-a-a!!!..” I reflexively shielded my eyes, expecting to collide with the bright green roof of someone's house. But the roof did come a few inches from my belly, disturbing my fur with the change in airflow - and an unpleasant chill, that ran down my spine. I braked and flopped carelessly onto the first empty spot I could find. Some lawn off the street - I cursed out loud and sighed, sucking in the smelly air with all my lungs, feeling my heart racing and my legs trembling and shaking. Yeah... It was close... “Are you alright?” The sound of wings flapping came from behind me. A pegasus the color of wet asphalt with a two-color mint and turquoise striped mane landed easily and at ease next to me. “A thousand sorry, I didn't want to!..” “You all say that.” I panted, barely swallowing my saliva, which for some reason has become as viscous as gel. “It turned out so unexpectedly!.. They won't take me into “Wonderbolts”.” The pegasus waved away, cringing, though a clear relief can be heard in his voice. “Are you really alright, Nightmare Moon?” “No, I’m not!” I grumbled. “You are a weather-maker, aren't you?” I tried to remember the stallion, which was in my sight just one or two times. “I’m.” He admitted slowly, laying back his ears. “Thunderlane, miss...” “Don't you “miss”.” I cringed reflexively. “Where the smoke comes from? Say precisely, until the concrete mountain!” “E-e...” He lagged. “It doesn't already. We’re dispersing the rest - to the extent we can. There’s too few of us for the whole town!..” “What do you mean “it doesn't”?!” I turned around sharply and, stepping, hovered over the pegasus. “New smoke doesn't come already!” He stepped back reflexively. “How so? Dragon?..” I didn't understand. “It seems, that Dash and her friends were able to persuade him to leave. Well, he did.” Pegasus smiled shyly. “Now we’re dispersing the rest of the smoke - and by evening Ponyville will be able to breathe normal air all over the town.” So it means?.. And... “Ehm, if I’m not needed for you - maybe I'd get back to my work?..” Thunderlane stepped aside carefully. Slowed down. Stepped again. “Off you fly, feather miracle.” I waved away, chuckling nervously. “And... Thanks for the news, I guess?..” “You're welcome! Goodbye!” He said goodbye on the fly after my first words, and went up in a spectacular candle, to where half a dozen pegasi of the weather team were circling. “Crazy fool.” I exhaled, alternately massaging my eyes with my wrist. Of course Thunder wasn't stupid, clearly... I ran like a dumbass without looking around, and it's a good thing my flight didn't end on that ornate rooftop. If I hadn't practiced flying, I'd be smeared right now. And Grim Sky, Luna's instructor, thanks for all the slanted looks, too... Oh, yikes... Clutching my aching wing, I slowly headed out into the street, feeling a little calmer nonetheless. If the dragon has been sent away, then - as I hope - my friends are all right, as they were in the canon... Fine. I should head back, I guess - it's time to think what to do next... ... “...What about?..” “No-no, thank you! I’m not hungry at all! Not hungry at all-all!” The door rattled with sliding air right in front of my nose and finally slammed shut, cutting me off from the room where the food was delicious and plentiful. Very tasty. A lot of. And very persistent! I held the door with my telekinesis for a few more seconds - just to be sure. I exhaled and turned around, trying to get my wings to rest on my rounded sides at the same time. O-oh... The Apple Acres spread out before my eyes in all its glory: a big old barn of faded decaying red, all kinds of farming equipment, rows of apple trees rustling in the wind, and a corral with contented pigs lying in the dirt, which were being rationed phlegmatically by a big red horse with a yoke on his neck and a straw in his mouth. I found me, eying suspiciously the speechless farmer for too long, so I shook my head and looked somewhere in the direction of the barn. I have to occupy myself something with. Rarity, Pinkie... No, I sort of understood, that everything ended well in canon, that they weren't in danger, that they'd generally made it through and were already rushing home, that, after all, there was nothing I could do now, but... My heart was not in the right place. And that nasty, treacherous "What if?" kept creeping into my head, making my breath stiffen and my fur tingle. Damn it... Shaking my head again, I moved resolutely towards the barn. I must think less about it. Especially since I have ideas to occupy myself with. The smell of old dry boards, apples, and hay hung thickly in the warm, standing air inside. The lazily curling dust hung in the clouds of sunlight, that streamed through the small windows. Along the walls stood gadgets, things, gizmos, and contraptions of all sorts - often unknown to me; in a corner lurked a workbench, over which various tools were neatly hung, some barrels and boxes hung out, a cart stood... I waved my front foot in my face in a vain attempt to dispel the dust, and went to a flat stack, carefully covered with sacking. I lifted it, assessed it, and brought out the scooter box for Scootaloo. I have one thought... I took the box outside, walked back and forth, and settled down in a clearing a little away from the house. Let’s see what you're made of... I opened it carefully and took out the parts. There were only two: the board with the wheels and the rudder, which has been removed for the sake of compactness. I got rid of the package. I squinted at the thick plastic of the board, reinforced with a metal rail underneath and topped with large rubberized wheels with chiseled tread. I figured they don’t make the other treads on decent models, since paving stones are common in the Equestria. The yellow and blue colors of the Wonderbolts were painted everywhere, and the top of the board had their emblem on it, which was a lightning. I put the rudder in and locked it in place, looked at the result, applied a little effort in different directions. It looked solid, didn't squeak or wobble, and it spun well. A good thing. That's why I thought, as I remembered Scoot's remark about his drinking father, that this "good thing" might end up in a pawnshop later... But that's what ponies are. Even there they wouldn't take obvious someone else's, so it was definitely worth securing the scooter to a particular pony while I have the time. I took off the rudder and put everything back in the box so it wouldn't loom in plain sight. I got up from the grass I'd laid out on before I unpacked it, and went looking for Big Mac. He was no longer with the pigs, but he was easily found, though: he was servicing the cart in the barn. “Mac, listen, do you have some useless iron to throw away?” The stallion put the tool away, wagged his ear, got up in silence, and went to a corner of the barn. So?.. I followed him with a gaze in a slight stupor. After rustling and rattling in the corner, Big Mac just as leisurely approached me, silently holding out a rusty bayonet blade glued to his hoof. The front edge marked with a pothole, as if someone had once hit it in anger. “Here.” “Thanks.” Slowing a bit, I got the iron and examined it meticulously. There's enough volume, the corrosion doesn't seem to be too deep... It'll do. Mac, nodding, silently returned to the cart, and I got out of the barn and went to the box, which was left alone - to perform the plan. When I returned to "Carousel" after a breathtaking flight, that almost made me shit my pants, the question arose: what next? The six are on a mission, and Rar has closed the house, so I guess she's counting on someone else to accommodate her sister here for a while. Leaving Sweetie alone for her to cook for a few days is a sure way to a site of fire. I thought I'd look for her anyway, but it wasn't a good idea to leave the presents on the porch, either. I should leave them with someone to keep 'em until Rarity returned, but with whom? I rejected Twilight and Spike's dwelling, though the dragon was probably there, brightening up his leisure with comics. The other options were the Cakes, who were quite used to me because of my interactions with Pinkie, and the Apples, with whom the relationship was... even: we weren't really friends with Jack, we just chatted a little sometimes. On the other hand, thanks to the ticket I gave once away, they treated me rather warmly at the farm. And there was Apple Bloom. She probably knew where Sweetie and Scootaloo were. It decided the case in favor of “Apple Acres”, even though it wasn't much fun to walk to them with the boxes, and it was quite a long way. I had the good fortune to cross paths with McIntosh, who was returning from town with a cart behind him. He offered help in a few words, when he heard I was going to them. I gratefully accepted, loading the crates into the cart, and then regretted it all the way and quietly gritted my teeth at my flaming cheeks. I felt like a girl, whose guy picked up a heavy bag. And Mac is also... I can't stop thinking about the equalogist with her extraordinary effort!.. Damn it! Anyway, I made it to the farm with my gifts - I was a bit embarrassed, that I haven't bought something for AJ. Not that we were friends, of course, but... When Granny greeted me warmly and, complaining about my delicate silhouette, dragged me into the house to fatten me up, the feeling only grew stronger. The hospitable grandmother was quick to help me deal with it, burying it safely under the weight of the pies. Now they were pulling me inexorably towards the ground, making me puff away contentedly. Of-f... I found myself staring at the box with a hard-beaten shovel in a cloud of magic for a good few minutes. That's why I shook myself up and cautiously laid down again on the sun-heated grass. Well, let us go! I hope that the absence of the protective shield will not end with problems for me... The usual iron, like, no surprises... Having guessed how I can properly fasten the metal object in the base of the rudder, and then get rid of it without breaking the scooter in half, I lit up the horn. Here we go... ... “Phe-e-ew...” I shook my head cautiously and looked at the result of my work. A shiny silver solid piece that hugged the base of the rudder with a solid ring at the top and the board at the bottom. Plus, it's fused into the plastic along the edge, just to be safe... There was an inscription embossed on the smooth surface of the bevel between the rudder and the board: “Dear Scootaloo! Always be faster, higher, stronger! And don't betray your dream! Your friend, Nightmare Moon.” I smiled at the inscription and closed my eyes in satisfaction. The magic was gradually coming back to normal, and my powers were returning. The transformation of a piece of iron into stainless steel - well, I had a couple of times to see how it... "looked"- with a chrome-like sheen to the top layer, and a rather precise molding of the inscription didn't seem too difficult, and it didn't eat up my energy. Although, of course, it took a lot of time, and I had to take breaks, including memory dives for some of the nuances. It was... No, it was worth it. No matter what. I exhaled sharply and opened my eyes, looking at the scooter again. It's great. Now it looks more like a gift. I was also sure that it wasn't just something a servant had bought on loan, but something that I've my own hand in! Now it has more similarities to a normal gift. But the color... No, the coloring of the Wonderbolts would make the little one happy, but I personally wasn't so keen on it. Dull yellow and dull blue - nah... Maybe I should repaint it. Transforming the top layer isn't that hard. But it requires control, and I'm already a little tired... Oh, whatever! What, I can't do it? I chuckled. There was a kind of... inspiration. I just wanted to, that's all! I didn't even have to go far to get an idea of how to repaint: “Shadowbolts”! The dark version of the famous Equestrian pilots had its origins in, oddly enough, a kind of fan magazine for children and youth dedicated to “Wonderbolts”. There were puzzles and developmental riddles, mazes, crosswords, interesting facts in accessible language about the group, its history or about pegasi in general, quizzes... And the main thing - small comics with adventures of famous flyers with different degrees of fiction. Not the current ones - it was considered good form to write, as I understood, not about the current members of the group. So they wrote about the generation before last and the last generation, not denying in their imagination’s desires. That's where “Shadowbolts” originated, more than thirty years ago, as opponents of “Wonderbolts”. And, oddly enough, they have gained a certain popularity and become quite frequent opponents of the protagonists in the magazine. They were even honored by entire episodes during the eve of the Nightmare Night! In general, “Shadows” were more or less a household name, had recognizable colors and emblems, and even gathered a certain fan base around themselves and their image. Yeah... Sometimes it's useful to live in a library and listen to the conversations between readers, both with the librarian and her comic book-loving assistant, as well as among themselves... However, I've looked into a file of those magazines myself in recent years once, when looking for information on wing care, and even got a little bit hooked. Not for long, of course! I just wondered: how did Nightmare Moon, this one, replicate their images for Dash in front of the Two Sisters' Castle? How did she know? Alas, my memory of that moment was so scattered and fragmentary, that without knowledge of the canon I could not reproduce even approximately the events. It didn't matter, though. I waved my thoughts away, rubbed my front hooves and lit my horn again. Now let's make it beautiful! ... “Wo-o-ow!..” “So cool!” “Yeah...” I reluctantly opened my eyes, feeling my horn burn, my head aching, and my neck is doing the same. Damn, it feels like my head is in the shoulders now... I was careful to twist it back and forth and crunch my vertebrae. And I finally looked at the result of my efforts, which has already impressed a trio of onlookers, who had apparently come up somewhere in the process. A mistake, damn it: what if something had gone wrong? Good thing they had enough brains to not come closer... With a disapproving hissing sound, I focused my attention on the transformed scooter. In my opinion, black, purple and gold suited it better than the rather dull yellow and blue of “Wonderbolts”, whose lightning with two "notches" was replaced on the board by the predatory and slightly frightening profile of a grinning pony skull with wings. The skull, in contrast to the grotesquely cartoonish “Shadowbolts” emblem, was a bit too... realistic. Naturally bone-colored, with cracks and crevices, a wing behind it covered in feathers, but it was subtly sinister and pointed. To top it off, a turquoise light burned dimly in an empty eye socket, as if the skull was looking back... Winking at the skull with a chuckle, I looked up at the approaching crusaders. “Hi!” “Greetings, Nightmare...” “G’day...” “Howdy-howdy.” I smiled in answer and hugged Sweetie a bit - she has put her leg around my neck and was the first one to reach me. Scoot and Apple Bloom, both are a bit embarrassed, slowed a bit. “Oh, I’m so happy that you're back! How long have you been here? How long are you going to be here? Oh, I guess you're...” “Surprise-surprise!” I hugged the unicorn to myself a bit tougher, ending the word flow. “I’ll be here tomorrow, and maybe will fly back in the evening.” “Sad...” A sad sigh was put into my neck. “I missed you so much!..” “Ah, come on.” I ruffled the pink and purple multicolored mane. “You’ll be sick of me for sure. Scoot, why are you standing there like a bystander?” I unfolded a wing invitingly. “I’m... E-e... Within a safe distance.” She gauged the gesture. “And that doesn't mean, that I’m not happy to see you at all, don't you look at me like that!” “Scootaloo!” Sweetie became indignant, even stepping back from me. “That’s right.” I supported her protest. “You of course are happy, but not happy enough.” I shook head with sorrow. “But it’s okay, now you will.” Scoot strained, being ready to dodge hugs. “Here, for you.” I took the somewhat forgotten scooter and placed it in front of the pegasus. I smirked back at the glassy stare, hiding the emotion behind the tip of my wing. Ka-boom, that’s a hit!.. “I’m... Ehm... I’m not!” Unfreezing, the mare stepped back from present, her thoughts starting to run across her mind. “I can't!.. It’s!.. It costs like!..” “Not as expensive as money.” “But... Nightmare...” Scoot mumbled pitifully, stepping back once again. “And I owe you already... And, this...” Tears started to gleam in the purple eyes. She wants it - she really does, but doesn't allow herself... “Sco-ot.” I looked at the friend with a bit of a reproach. “I’m not asking if you can accept it or not. I’m just stating the fact - it's yours. Enjoy! Just don't ride that much to not repeat that event...” “But...” She stepped uncertainly from foot to foot. She looked at the scooter. At me. The next second the orange meteor crashed into me, clutching my neck almost to the point of crunching. “Sc-h-oot!..” “Thanksthanksthanksthanks!” The pegasus bounced away from me, red to the tips of her ears, and squeaked almost ultrasonically. “Kh... You're welcome.” I rubbed my neck. She's got quite a grip... Scootaloo glowed with joy and did not pay attention to my answer. She was already excitedly rushing around the gift, looking at it this way and that under the joyful glances and smiles of her friends. Including me, of course. “Shock absorbers?!.. Wheels!.. And this?.. “Dear Scootaloo... ...Faster, higher, stronger... ...Dream... ...Nightmare Moon.” This is!.. You!.. Wow!.. And how cool you've repainted it in “Shadowbolts” coloring! O, and theirs skull looks like as if looking!.. Wow!..” “Nice?” I asked, smiling joyfully, when the exclamations have died out a bit. “Awesome!” Capacious answered followed. “I haven't seen even close to this in our shop! It’s... O-oh!” Scoot jumped, freezing in the air for a few seconds with the help of small wings. “Is it... Is it really for me?” She looked away blushingly, sharply melting into background. “Of course. Who else?” “Well yeah, I guess.” The pegasus forced a snicker, fluffing her mane on the nape reluctantly. “But... No, I can't just take it, and!..” She exhaled. “You can. Take it.” I leaned back against the grass, watching my interlocutor from under relaxed, half-closed eyelids. Fluttershy double ganger, literally... “This is why it's a gift. Am I wrong?” “This is not the kind of gifts you can refuse, Scoot.” Bloomie noted rationally, examining the scooter. “Your old one, even when in a whole skin, doesn't stand a chance, no offense.” “I know!” The pegasus sighed. “But... I can't like that! It’s... I'd have to store up money for a year to buy this! Or even tow! And here!..” Walking back and forth, she looked at me narrowly. “Nightmare, thank you a bunch! A very big bunch! But... Let’s agree on me, returning your money in a year! Or even a part of it! Or, I don't know...” “You're not used to take gifts.” I sighed. Yea-ah, little one, you've thrown a wrench into my mood... Damn it! I should have told to get something less fancy... “Do you want to offend me?” “Of course I don't!” She even jumped, looking at me with fright. “She doesn't!” “Nightmare, Scootaloo would never!..” The others supported her like a chorus. “I don't, really! But just take it and drive away, as it should be...” Scootaloo looked down at her feet with a sigh, turning a determined gaze to me. “I just can't. Sorry.” Yeah, dilemma... And what should I do with her? I chewed my lip thoughtfully. Looked at the apple trees, at the scooter, at Bloom, at Sweetie... Hm... “So, you want to repay and I won't persuade you?” I asked, squinting. “Y-yes...” The pegasus replied carefully, straining. It’s right time to fear, he-he-he... “Then I’ll sound my desire and you're going to comply it. Refusal is not accepted!” I made a stern expression on my face, but gave Scoot a questioning look. “Fen without dresses!” She looked askew at Sweetie. “Agree.” Ha!.. “Without dresses - okay.” I smirked ambitiously, making the pegasus shiver. “So-o...” I paused: one last chance to refuse, little one! Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle leaned forward and froze suspiciously, waiting for the denouement. “From now on and forever, you will let me snuggle, stroke, and cuddle you!” I proclaimed, with a commanding gesture pointing the tip of my hoof at Scoot, who has fatally missed with the dresses. “Where, when, and as much as I want! And don't run away or break out!” “No...” Scootaloo swallowed, stepping back. “Yes, little pony! Now you belong to me!!!” Not being to stand it, I started to laugh evilly. It wasn't so atmospheric because of me lying down. Damn it. “It's unfair!” “Fair!” “Fair!” “Fair!” You had the chance to refuse.” I chuckled and looked back at the two crusaders, who sided with me. “You!.. You!..” The pegasus gasped indignantly, looking at her friends betraying her. “You’ll like it.” Sweetie smiled blushingly. “No!” “Let’s check it now.” I smiled evilly. “Come over here.” Scoot looked around helplessly, as if looking for support. She held her gaze on the scooter, sighed heartbreakingly, and wandered slowly and sadly towards me. “You're a villain!” She grumbled, sitting down next to me. “Very villain.” I nodded approvingly, lowering a wing onto her crown. The pegasus twitched to dodge as usual, but with a titanic effort, she held herself in place. Only her ears flushed slightly at the tips. “Merciless...” My wing slid over the top of tense Scoot, ruffling her mane. “And heartless.” I will try not to overdo it, of course... I hugged the terribly-terribly unhappy pony with my wing with delight under the dull chuckles of her friends, which made her sulk. I will try, because it will not be easy for me, yes... “What about me?” My front leg was insistently touched on the other side. I silently spread my left wing as well, letting Sweetie snuggle against my side with pleasure. There was a heartbreaking sigh from under my right wing. “Don't be sad, Scootie.” I hugged the mare tighter, who squeaked indignantly. “It’s just when you start. Then you’ll get used to it and won't be able to live without it.” “Thanks!” She grumbled. “What is so interesting in it?!” “Just pleasant.” I shook my head, chuckling. So co-o-ol... “Hey, Nightmare Moon... Can I as well?” The earthpony, who was left alone, could not stand it, and was immediately terribly embarrassed by her request. “Yea.” I wasted no time, so I picked her up with my telekinesis and put her in front of me, hugging her with forelegs. Cool, damn it! There was enough to hug everyone! I ruffled the crimson mane and sniffed upon bumping into a bow. It suits her well... But it didn't to Sweetie. What about Scoot?.. Hm. Hm! “It’s cool with you! But...” After a few more minutes, I hugged the crusaders tightly for the last time. I folded my wings, and stood up, causing two disappointed sighs and one relieved sigh. “Scootie, don't be mad. Sweetie, don't sigh so heavily, it’s not the last time, tea. Bloomie... Nice bow.” I commented on the trio, leisurely lining up in front of me. “Thanks.” Earthpony lowered her eyes, blushingly digging earth with a hoof. “I wish Scootaloo had one.” I smiled ambitiously at the pegasus. “Hey!!!” She, who has just been gently hugging the wheel of her brand-new scooter, bounced away from me as if a steam locomotive was coming at her. “Hugs were so far, so good, but this!.. No! I won't have it on me until you do! E-e... Oops.” I and Sweetie looked at each other. My cheeks started to warm up treacherously. Damn it! And it seems, that the ears did it as well... “Nightmare, don't you say...” The orange pony mumbled awkwardly, looking at Sweetie and then at me. “It can't be...” Well, how do I put it... ... “Oh, home! Sweetie, I’m back!” Rarity's melodious voice, with its ever-present slight mannerisms and a hint of fatigue, rang out from the hallway with a joyful chime. I and the filly - who, thankfully, had been left with the key - looked at each other, interrupted in mid-sentence. We threw our spoons and food away, we raced from our seats. Rar!.. “Rarity-y-y!!! Hihihihihihi!” Sweetie ran around the corner. I, in my turn, slowed down, letting her forward - it could have been wrong to not do so... “Sweetie, dear!.. Oh, don't hug me, I’m dirty monstrously! Mountains! Tent! And no shower for kilometers around during all this time!..” “Only dragons and threats.” “Nightmare?!.. Oh, Celestia, I haven't awaited your visit at all! I’m very happy to see you, but I’m!.. I!.. Approaching silently, I grabbed the wailing unicorn with magic. I pulled her to me and pressed her against me with a front leg and both wings, making her wordless mid-word. Rarity. Alive. As a whole. Near. “I almost turned gray when I knew you're out for that dragon.” The white ear, surrounded by so unusually unkempt strands, twitched at my whisper. “Don't risk so much, ay?.. I just don't know... I don't ha... I don't have anyone else...” I covered my eyes and cocked my head to keep from bursting into tears. Finally, the tension, that has been buzzing around inside me all day, was releasing. “W... What about Pinkie? About others?” “Everything is fine, Nighty.” Everything is fine... “Don't cry, please!” Am I the one crying? I sniffed my nose, squeezing the mare even harder. I'm not crying at all! Well, maybe... a little... 48. Gray WorldAuthor's Note "As many times as I reread this chapter, I couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong with it. I still don't know what it is. I don't know what I don't like! Just a feeling that the chapter should be about 20% cooler - that's all)" Original author's note. 48. Gray World The sleeping chamber of the palace's guest quarters greeted my next and, this time, final awakening with the traditional uncomfortable chill and the echoing, unfriendly silence, that thickened beneath the high ceilings. It was still dark, but I didn't want to sleep anymore - apparently, it was morning. I didn't want to get up. I sighed and wrapped myself tightly in the blanket and tucked the pillow under my head. It was like I hoped it would protect me from the uncomfortable walls around me and delay the arrival of a difficult and joyless day. Monday is a hard day, even if it is Thursday... And yesterday was Tuesday. I hummed into my pillow. Of course, the names of the days were different here. But in my head they somehow automatically shifted to somewhat more familiar ones, of which, due to the local six-day weeks, Wednesday fell out. I don't know why this was so... So the vacation was over. The next thing is studying at the palace again, Luna, dripping on my brain, and joyless, lonely moments of respite. Man, I’m looking forward to learning all the stuff I need asap to get this fucking non material shit, that clung to Tia, and... I don't know what's next. I'd go to Rarity's, then settle down in Ponyville somewhere and open a private nightmare-protection practice or something, if that's how it works... In the meantime, I'd have to sit tight and study. “More like lay tight.” I laughed shortly into the pillow. Who knows - maybe I’d get another free day to go back to Ponyville and see my friends. Abyss, I didn't even realize how much the separation has actually depressed me. One week, that is nothing! And then - tears without end for half an hour, hugging Rarity, sitting on the floor in the hallway. And such an incredibly light and joyful feeling in my soul: “I wasn't left behind, I have someone, I’m not lonely!” Of course, Rar made me nervous, too - the dragon slayer, damn her... It's good that everyone is alive and in one piece, as they should be in canon. But where's the canon and where am I? Then the unicorn spit on all the orders - unthinkable! - and announced PTO, and we had a great time with her and Pinkie the whole next day. The spa - finally it is not scary to look at yourself in the mirror, then - a picnic, which also gathered Applejack, Fluttershy and crusaders, then just had fun in "Carousel", all together decorated with bows and trying on one bow or another in front of a huge mirror on rich crimson Scootaloo... Oh, and, of course, the gifts, which cost so much that I left more than half of the money I've earned from Rarity on the table for Luna... And hell with ‘em! It was worth it. The scooter for Scootaloo was a success. Even Dash caught a moment of my girlfriends' brief absence the next day and came over to express her indignation. She was also going to give the small one a scooter, she was looking for it - and then I showed up! I chuckled. Anyway, after giving me one last gloomy stare and saying goodbye with the phrase: "You're nothing but trouble!" Rainbow went off to be sad and look for something else to gift. The other gifts were also successful. Pinkie was happy to rush out to use the new gadget, providing everyone with milkshakes - I couldn't get myself away from them. I've had a brief thought, that it was more of a gift for myself than for Pinkie. Like buying a radio-controlled helicopter for the birthday of a two-year-old son. Rar was thrilled - I don't know, and I didn't understand much of her rambling praise, but it seemed like the fabrics were really epic. Considering that they're way above the price of everything else put together, I'm not even surprised. Sweetie was more composed, but I could see that the extensive illustrated book on the history of fashion, including hairstyles, interested her. All in all - I didn't miss it, it seemed. I didn't buy something for Flutty - she hasn't gotten over her previous gifts yet, and I guess I couldn't have given her anything else. So, I'll listen to the shy little squeak next time, heh. Long story short - my soul had a great rest. Rar, though, damn her, did make it hard when we were alone in the evening just before I left, bringing up a subject on which she and I had once... Oh, who am I lying to - on which I had once already gotten mad at her and slammed the door: Luna. Someone's itching, damn it. “And you are getting alo-ong, and she do-oesn't hurt you, and you don't do-o it, give her a cha-ance”.. It was a hard time, restraining myself from saying a few kind words to the unicorn. She, of course, was also trying not to hurt my feelings too much, and agreed to drop the subject in exchange for me reading Luna's letters, which I had once not had the heart to just burn without reading... What the hell did she need that for? I'll try, since Rar asked me to. And Pinkie mentioned them once, too, I think. But I doubt I'll see anything there that I haven't seen in a week of personal communication: fake words, fake requests, and fake promises. Although... Luna is doing everything she promised, so far, and she's even trying to be as punctual as possible with her appointments... I stood up and pushed the pillow, which went to the floor with a soft bang instead of holding on to the edge. Damn it! Goddammit! And if Luna does it, it's to her advantage! No more! I shoved the blanket off me irritably and rolled onto my side. I have to get the hell up! And this waste paper - my glance fell on the bedside table with my usual bags - I'll read it sometime later! If I don't forget and if I don't mind! The next moment, as if to confirm my intention, the shadows of the silvery moonlight that dimly illuminated the bedroom stretched onward and soon disappeared into the thickening darkness - which the rapidly lightening sky began to cover. No more than a minute has passed since the action has begun. The room was already flooded with bright sunlight, making me squint my eyes from its radiance. “I’ll never get used to it.” I mumbled under my breath and dragged my still sleepy body to the edge of the bed with a sigh. Now it’s really time to get up... ... “Greetings once again, Nightmare.” I reluctantly looked up from the book. Nothing too exciting - just study material. But even that was better than Luna and communicating with her. What again?.. Blue, who has entered the library, looked thoughtful. She's busy with something again, in her repertoire. I hid the fleeting chuckle with an answering nod of my head. “Celestia is back.” The blue horse came to my table and, slowing, settled down across me. “So this is why you're radiating happiness. What, you didn't have time to prepare a conspiracy for her arrival?” I chuckled grimly and tried to continue reading, but already on the first line I realized that nothing would happen. Okay, let’s just pretend then... “Nightmare, please!..” Sighing, Luna looked back sorrowfully. “I love my sister and would never!.. However, you already know this, and you don't even believe your own words.” She waved away. “We’ll look.” I said in an unflattering but somewhat neutral tone. “What do you need?” “Before your arrival...” Luna started to speak shyly, slowing. “Sister promised to invite you here, she did, but... didn't have the courage? I don't know. That evening we happened to meet in the park, and I reminded her of her promise. She answered that she did not vant that, and... I snapped at her, insulting her, saying that I did not vanr to see here nere me any māra, and... “ Luna started to droop and sighed. She made an indefinite gesture, apparently not knowing how to continue. Well, blue, I didn't doubt you... “Speak simpler." Feeling the pause building up again, I "kicked" Moon for switching to "high-sounding dialect”. “Sorry.” She tried to smile at my reproach It wasn't eloquent. “Well, you've brought me here against Tia’s fur.” I stated, trying to revive the talk and the pony, which again got lost with her thoughts in the mind. No, I thought so, in fact, although, of course, I thought that they had some kind of consensus... But what kind of details will emerge now about what this horse has managed to do - now it's time to clean up and probably with my participation... “Yes, she was dead set against it." She stared down at the table. “And I didn't even have time to apologize before she left... because of me. Today, when I was informed of her return, I met her and finally apologized. She agreed to turn the page, but... I don't think I could convince her about you. If you'd wanted to hurt me seriously, not like this, you'd have eliminated me long ago..”. “Something hints me, that if a battle occurs - it's you who will have me eliminated.” I grumbled under my breath. You poor, powerless little one... At our magic classes together, all I can do is envy and wish I could do it myself someday! For blue, this magic is like breathing! As if she was pushing buttons with skills! Yes, I'm not worse or weaker overall, but it’s thirty seconds against three! “I have already let you down wherever I could have to, Nightmare. I’m not going to hurt you again!” Luna stared with a grim reproach, hearing me saying. “But our point is that even that didn't seem convincing to Tia. She nodded, took note, but... didn't show in any way how she was going to react. I'm afraid that since she is hiding these thoughts even from me, they are far from joyful. I don't know what to do." The blue one sighed longly, drooping for a moment. “Work, what else.” I mumbled. “How does it go?.. Do the right thing and let the fate reciprocate.” “Wise words.” The alicorn tilted her head awry and thoughtfully. “My duty is to teach you, and I’ll go until the end. I just hope I’ll have enough wisdom to escape new quarrels...” She sighed again. “Don't you hope. You always think after doing.” I chuckled head-on. “Unless you whine later, as usual, when things get really bad.” “Sorry.” The blue one bit her lip for a moment. “I’m trying to redeem myself!” “I see.” I commented plainly, looking at her. “Something more or you’ll let me finish reading?” Princess pressed her ears back and looked at me nervously, apparently hesitant to ask. She got up reluctantly, took a few steps towards the exit, froze, and turned around... “Nightmare...” “What again?” "Can we... Talk today?” “What is there to talk with you about, blue one?” I glanced disgustedly and opened the book, which has been closed during the conversation. “About... Trip of... Yours, about friends... I... Oh, forget about it.” The annoying mare drooped under my gaze, and, with a sigh, she hurriedly clattered her hooves towards the door. Finally. Following wind, good luck. Tell her about friends, yeah... I made a hissing sound and turned to the book, glancing thoughtlessly through the lines. About friends... ... The paper here is surprisingly good quality. It's a little thick, but it's decent enough... My eyes spent a long curve of the paper airplane on their own. Arrow-shaped silhouette bumped his nose on the bedside table with a sad paper knock and fell to the carpet with an offended rustle. He almost made a full circle and flew back... At home, when I made such things, there was never enough room for it: too quickly it bumped into the wall. And given this particular model's pathological tendency to go into a turn almost immediately after launch... I picked up the plane, thoughtlessly examining the fancy coloring, that the lines of text on the sheet it was made of have given it. I spread it out, unfolded it, and smoothed out the crossed out fold lines on the sheet. Damn it, blue one! I can see from a mile away, that you wrote it with Cadence, almost from dictation! So why... I folded the letter back into the airplane with a sort of irritation, and launched it away from me with a sharp impulse. The plane went uphill, hovered at the top point, turned its nose to the ground sharply and then came out into a smooth planning with a right turn. The barely audible rustling of paper on the carpet. The airplane stopped half a meter away from me, sadly spreading its wings and collapsing on its left side. It’s the God damn same! I don't really need it, but it didn't matter how many times I put it out of my head, it just keeps coming back and coming back! Perhaps the most frustrating part was that I couldn't figure out what it was that got me so caught up in it. Luna's letters were... not at all what I'd expected when I'd shaken them out on the table with irritated skepticism. I don't really know what it was that I was expecting... Apologies, pleas, flattery, hypocrisy, a hidden prideful dislike - I don't know. Something like that, I guess? But certainly not a simple description of life in the palace, complaining about the changing laws and delighting in the modern technology I discovered as a result... In the last letter Luna was glad that I have made friends and gently asked for advice on how to do it right. For some reason it was... strangely clingy. It was clearly Cadence's idea, which Blue herself would never have thought of, and the first letter, which ended in flames, was a good example of that. I believe she wrote it herself, but here... “Cadence, damn it...” I mumbled, looking into the space with sad thoughtfulness. “Why do you need it?..” And this loving one managed to dictate something to Luna, something, that has somehow elusively impressed me. Some kind of... understanding, or something. A feeling, that I have peeked behind the impenetrable facade and seen what was behind it. And hidden there was... an ordinary mare, a little scared, insecure and lonely, looking for understanding and some kind of warmth in her soul... “Understanding!..” I snorted irritably, cringing, and, picking up the airplane that was lying sadly on the carpet, stared at it irritably. I glared at it, suppressed the urge to tear it up, instead just unfolding it back into a piece of paper, and pressed it onto the thin stack of others on the table. “This is why you were so eager to understand Nightmare, you lover of understanding, Abyss swallow you!” “It already did.” I, shivering, turned around to the door. Damn it! How she?!.. When?!.. How did she hear?! “I wasn't eager. I was not and did not understand.” At the last moment, just before the world went black around me, I had time to think about whether I was making a mistake!” Luna stood at the door, staring at the floor, and quietly, on the edge of hearing, she cried words out in a dry, cracked voice. “And I made a mistake, Nightmare. I killed my daughter.” Damn it!.. I just said “Nightmare”, and now she!.. Thoughts flitted frantically in all directions like cockroaches when the kitchen lights turn on. Luna, in the fallen silence, took a few uncertain steps on trembling legs towards me, stumbled on a flat spot, and sat where she was with a sigh. “You're almost like she, like Nightmare. But I feel, that you're... Different. Nightmare Moon, but... But not the one I had been sharing the body with.” “I just changed over the summer.” I mumbled, frantically piecing my thoughts together and feeling my heart trying to burst out of the cage of my ribs. “By my action, I destroyed the very identity of the one who had every reason to call me mother.” Luna's dry and indifferent voice was almost frightening - so alien it seemed. “The Elements of Harmony could no longer return everything to the way it was.” It is how it is. “Just don't you claim your rights on me.” I replied nervously. How to react, damn it? What to do?” “I won't dare to, Nightmare.” Luna lifted her gaze at me for the first time since the beginning of the conversation. Lifeless and hopeless gaze, which made me feel uncomfortable. “But I will do my best to at least partially make up for my infinite guilt. To you. And to Nightmare, that was before.” “Why do you think I need this? Why do you think I need something from you at all?” I walked in front of the depressed alicorn with mild irritation, calming down a bit and stopping my vibrations. Scared me, damn it... “What did you even forget here?” “It doesn't mean I must leave my attempts to.” Slowing, Luna stepped closer to me and looked in my eyes defiantly. “And I bothered you to make sure everything is alright. Previously, you were always on time for flight lessons...” “Couldn't you say that?!” I glanced at the clock with a panicked look and almost jumped, simultaneously feeling relieved, that the annoying and unpleasant conversation seemed to have come to an end. “Fifteen minutes already!.. Grim Sky will kill us!” “What you?..” The blue one got up, throwing a nervous look at me. “He’s quarrelsome, but a good pony! He would never!..” Waving away on the run, I stepped into the corridor galloping. P-ponies!.. ... “You're late for nineteen minutes.” “Her Highness Princess Luna had an urgent matter of national importance for me." I commented with a deliberate slight phlegmatic laziness in my voice, on the displeasure of the cosplaying graying, already sullen pegasus, which was cosplaying sergeant, and was strolling in front of the formation. Yeah, come on, lecture me, fucking hell... Damn, it's so comfortable to be an alicorn. Grim sulked, indignant, but cannot resist it. “I propose to not lose more time and begin.” “Lady Nightmare, looking at you, I always have the urge to reproach you for not respecting your elders for some reason, no matter how hundreds of years old you technically are." Muttered the "sergeant" under his breath, stopping and raising his eyes to grief for a moment. Okay, relict of a museum, let’s pretend I didn't hear that. Otherwise we'll bicker for ten minutes again, under the disappointed and disgruntled sniffling of Luna, and we've already lost so much time... “Fine...” Grim Sky came closer and looked up from under his bushy gray eyebrows and gave me a slightly disgruntled and seemingly annoyed look. “All right, ladies, spread out three meters so you don't get in each other's way! Warm up! Neck!..” As I stepped away from Luna, I was instantly immersed in myself, automatically performing the familiar learned movements. In fact, I learned a lot of this kind of workout on my own back in Ponyville, when I was learning to fly. This one was a little more complicated and complex, involving more areas and muscles, but differed little in the basics. Yeah... "Daughter", what an idea... Although, there's probably something in it... After all, Nightmare originally appeared and got some kind of identity thanks to Luna... Hm... However, even if so, it is not for her to lick her lips in anticipation of such a high title as the title of my mother! She exists, and she is not Luna!.. ...And she buried her son a few months ago already. Shit... “Nightmare, are you sleeping?..” I shook my head and continued the faded and halted movement. Even so - not Luna's claim to it, whoever she thinks she is, or even partly what she actually is! That’s all! For a while I just kept warming up, trying to get rid of the jerky movements on emotion. All problems are from Luna. I threw a quick glance in the direction of the concentrated panting alicorn. I should have killed her when I had the chance... Yeah, and then everything would be going so fast now that my current problems would seem like an unattainable dream - if I were still alive. Chucking sadly, I turned away, preferring to concentrate on my movements. “E-e-end!” The "sergeant" stomped on his front leg, himself moving along with us, but showing absolutely no signs of any exertion at all in the process. What a fucker. I’m jealous. “So the tasks for today will be... Princess Luna, judging by your breathing, you haven't paid enough attention to physical fitness again this week!” The blue one laid back her ears and lowered her gaze. “Take tha-at cloud and take our usual route with it. I expect to count at least fifteen laps by the end of class. You need to pay attention to endurance!” Luna sighed helplessly and very-very quiet. I understand you, blue one... Have fun, what can I say. The cloud may be relatively light, but it's sailing, especially when pushed against the wind... Grim, judging by the movement of his ear, also heard the sigh of Luna, but for some reason decided not to show it, turning to me instead. “Lady Nightmare... Take off and landing. Especially landing! Especially with speed! How many times do I have to tell you that hard ground is not a warm puddle in which you can plunge and roll around, blowing bubbles! And don't flash your eyes: I don't want your broken legs! Okay, off you go!” Fucker. Sometimes I wish I had never mentioned my flight training to him. “Puddle”! I cringed, realizing, that there was really nothing to argue with. The landing was indeed more than mediocre and always ended with my legs beaten to one degree or another. I exhaled, took a short run and flapped my wings. Up to that roof, there's a turn, come back, land. Repeat until this old stump was sick of the sarcastic comments about "smacks" and "spits.” But I must give him credit for always asking afterwards if anything is broken... Just let's go. ... I want night. To fall asleep and all this thing... Well, didn't end, but moved somewhere for the future. I rinsed after my workout and ran outside: the walls of the palace were particularly uncomfortable today. I wandered through the unsettled garden of the night wing. I wandered now through the unsettled garden of the Night Wing. There were yellowed plants from recent transplants. They were still empty spaces where fresh ones had been planted from scratch, which even with local magic would take a couple of months to appear. It looked... neglected, and it was nowhere near comparable to Tia's garden. The garden looked like the mood, in general... Luna, let her be torn and glued to pieces, was never out of my mind. First her letters, and then her words, about her daughter... I found myself fiercely perplexed, and... at moments I felt a little sympathy for her?.. “Gibberish!” The hoof of her foreleg plunged fiercely into the path, blasting the dense earth. I couldn't sympathize with her after... after everything! Why did it bother me at all? The letters, her words? I don't care! I snorted irritably, and, driving my hooves into the ground, I moved forward along the path. “Greetings, Nightmare...” Fucking!.. Speak of the shit and it would appear!.. “Thank you.” “For what?..” I asked with a loss, stumbling and freezing reflexively. Luna's unexpected words caught me by surprise. “For listening to me today. I know you don't like talking to me and... yet you didn't send me away. Thank you. And I’m happy to have you, Nightmare.” I turned around, staring blankly at the blue one wrinkling awkwardly a few meters away from me. What she?.. What she about?.. I’m!.. “What are you up to, Luna? What you?..” I made an undefinable gesture, trying to find the words. “There is no intent, Nightmare. It's just... Who else could I tell the dark thoughts you've heard now? Only... Oh, I'm sorry." She laid back her ears shamefully. “You were the only one I could tell all this to. And I'm grateful that you listened.” “You could've done this to Tia.” I mumbled, noting irritably, that the original hatred has dispersed insensibly somehow, and I allowed myself to be dragged into the conversation. “I... I didn't have the heart.” Luna lowered her gaze. “It’s... Not to her. Not now. I don't know. But I’m happy, that you listened to me. Thank you again.” “Only if I have been happy about this...” “Sorry...” “Leave, Luna. Just leave.” I walked away from her, turning around. I... I can't already. I don't know. I felt bitter and uncomfortable in my soul. “Fine.” To my dislike, without a hint of disappointment, she responded. “I await your arrival today, as agreed!” The footsteps sounded quietly behind me, unsure of their departure. Who are you to me, blue scarecrow? Why I hate you and... And feeling my hatred slowly, but surely fading at the same time? And what should I do with you at all? As a nice guy used to say: “It's so easy to see the galaxy in black and white, but grey? I don't know what to do with grey.” I don't know either. And when did the world ever become gray is the question?.. Damn it. 49. Confirmation of Truth“Don't worry, you’ll make it!” Luna smiled encouragingly, suppressing with a titanic effort the urge to touch the teeth-clenching black alicorn beside her, to somehow support her, to share her reassurance. No, she shouldn't. Nightmare would either take offense at that, or get more angry than ever... “What am I doing wrong this time?!” Sighing through teeth, she turned her head towards the Princess of the Night with an unblinking look in her turquoise eyes, which seemed to glow a little brighter than usual because of the emotions, that were raging inside. “You can do it, Nightmare.” Luna once again kept herself from touching, limiting herself to another reassuring smile. “Let me remind you, that what you've achieved had been done by me in four months back in my day. Didn't make it today - will tomorrow, you just need more practice. Don't worry.” “I’m “not worrying” for almost a week already.” The Mare in the Moon cringed and, sniffing irritably, rolled over the edge of the bed, standing next to her. “Maybe you’ll say something about business, not this comforting nonsense?” “I’m afraid I won't, Nightmare.” Luna shook her head sadly, sitting on the bed. “It’s like... Learning magic. You have to feel it. You can give some approximate recommendations, that will help some and not others, but...” “If it turns out that all this time you did not teach me the magic of dreams, but just laughing, forcing me to do all sorts of incomprehensible stuff for nothing - I'll bite you to death." The interlocutor promised gloomily, looking into space. “How?!.. I!..” The Princess of the Night gasped for air, not knowing how to respond to such a wild accusation... And such a terrible promise. “D-don't, please, I...” The voice trembled treacherously. How she?.. She’s a pony!.. How she?.. “Don't give me a reason to.” She moved her wing phlegmatically, not even noticing the Princess’ state. “Okay, I’ll go.” Shaking her head in a peculiar farewell, Nightmare Moon moved resolutely toward the exit. Quietly the door closed, and Luna sighed wearily and sank back onto the bed. How could Nightmare threaten something like that? Griffons band had done this horror a few times - ate... ponies! - and she, Luna, even executed some of them personally for this, but... Didn't Nightmare learn from these soul-chilling memories? And even if she did - she's not a griffon! How can she put on the face of a... predator? She's a pony, and she!.. And she has fangs, that many predators would envy. Luna shivered chilly and tried to wrap her wings around herself. No, this is not an argument. Thestrals have fangs, too, and they even eat fish. In principle, technically, they could eat meat, too. But Princess, in transforming the curse, did everything she could to instill in the newborn race an aversion to it and even to the very idea of it. Honestly, Luna wasn't savvy enough in the science of living things, biology as they now call it, to fully understand exactly what she did and how she did it then. Given Nightmare's equally inexplicable origins in the aftermath, it's not unreasonable to think that magic is simply capable of granting quite powerful wishes... Alicorn sighed sorrowfully and curled up, as if trying to hide from the world around her. But... Could Nightmare really have that kind of desire, to eat someone?.. She's not a thestral, so she may not be disgusted by this... monstrous thought?.. No! First of all, she's a pony, and a pony would never do that, even if she... had the opportunity. “It's so hard with you sometimes.” The Princess of the Night mumbled under her breath, sighing and straightening on the bed. Nightmare Moon hardly meant it. Yes, it was a threat, but it must have been figurative, not literal. In her style... Where did she get all that from? Threats, all those creepy and macabre jokes, fleeting and... as if habitual, statements that someone would kill someone, and for the perfect little thing, as with their flight instructor then - and on several other occasions before, threats, including such - as this one sounded, chilling and monstrous, because how could a pony do... such a thing?! “Sorry, Nighty...” Luna whispered with her lips only, closing eyes. “Instead of teaching you what’s right, I...” Alicorn froze and clenched her teeth in an attempt to hold back her tears. She stared blankly at the ceiling for some time before deciding to curl up and burst into tears under the protective covering of her wing. The day was absolutely morally exhausting... *** “... I tell you how much I love you and how worried I am about you, and you seem to be somewhere deep inside yourself.” Her sister's sullen and slightly judgmental voice snapped Luna out of her thoughts, causing her to blink perplexedly and bring the bowl of tea, which was already visibly cold, to her mouth. “As if you're not yourself, Lu. Is everything alright?” With a sigh, putting aside the piece of cake she had already picked up, the Princess of the Sun anxiously looked into her sister's eyes. “Oh, I... Sorry, please!” She confessed. “Just... Just yesterday's day was a tough one.” Celestia frowned faintly at the evasive response of her much-anticipated guest. “What happened, my moonbeam?” “It's not worth the trouble, really!” Luna, in a nervous haste, fastened to assure her and, averting her gaze, she bit her lip. She knew, that such an answer would not calm her sister down at all, but would only make things worse. “Just not a very pleasant conversation.” “With Nightmare.” Celestia rather stated than asked, becoming somehow harsh with her face. “With Nightmare.” Digging the pillow under her how, Luna decided to not deny. “And what unpleasant has she said to you?” Tia sipped her tea casually, but the cozy tea room for two felt like it was a few degrees colder all at once. “Nothing especially unpleasant and unexpected.” The Princess of the Night shook her head, cringing reflexively at the chilling and piercing gaze of the sister. Throughout the conversation, she felt as if she were wandering down a dark corridor, filled with traps. “What I really care about is my own words...” “Would you tell it?” “I... Don't know. No?” The younger alicorn hesitated, hiding gaze. “Not now. Sorry, Tia” Telling about all her fears and guesses, about what Nightmare has said about their... Their kinship? The Princess of the Night felt, that even if she had the desire, she wouldn't have the courage to say even a word to her sister. “Fine, my little star. But if you want to - I’ll be always ready to hear you out and support with everything I can.” Luna forced a smile and hurried to her bowl of tea, which was now completely cold. The warm understanding smile of her sister... and the ice frozen in her not at all understanding gaze were imprinted in her memory. ... “Good day, Your Highness. May I have a moment of your time?” Luna, completely lost in her own thoughts, shuddered, stopped and glanced at the snow-white, statuesque unicorn, who has approached. Blueblood looked perfect, as if he were preparing for a large official reception: shiny varnished hooves, fur styled hair to hair, mane in the latest fashion, perfectly fitted camisole, a subtle scent of perfume... Only the sullen look of reddened eyes, under which the blue-rimmed eyelids were not hidden from an alicorn's sharp eyesight even by a layer of powder, was out of place. The protocol polite smile seemed only to reinforce this impression. The Princess of the Night could hardly suppress the desire to get rid of the Prince and leave as soon as possible: her head, even without him, was already occupied with thoughts one gloomier than another after the meeting with the sister... “Greetings, Your Grace. Of course, how can I help you?” Giving in under the pressure of conscience, she bowed before the stallion. After all, she let even Blueblood down, even though unwittingly... And she still hasn't explained herself to the Prince, who has clearly fallen in spirit since her fateful visit to the museum and, as they say, has even been drunk several times since... By a fleeting stupor of her interlocutor, it seemed to Luna, that he has not really hoped for a positive answer, and now he seemed to be a bit confused. “I... Your Highness, wouldn't it be tactless to ask you about... About a conversation?” He lowered his voice and finally spoke out, glancing discontentedly at the pair of maids, who were passing by and trying to sneak a peek at Princess Luna. “By no means, Your Grace.” She smiled ceremonially, sighing in thought. “I think I may be able to make time for your request this evening, after sunset. I will tell my warriors to let you into the night wing of the palace without delay.” “Good." The unicorn nodded curtly. "Thank you very much for your time, Your Highness. With your permission?” “Of course, you can go, Your Grace. I was happy to meet you, Prince Blueblood.” After bowing ceremoniously, the stallion finally left, allowing Luna to frown and exhale. She felt, that she really had no idea what to talk about with the distraught unicorn in despair. And he didn't seem to understand it very well either, asking, as it seems, to see her only to try to somehow end the once interrupted conversation in the garden. Perhaps it would have been wiser to refuse him altogether, but... It didn't seem right. And maybe she could find some words of comfort for a disappointed pony, who lost faith in his ideal? Especially now, where no one would interrupt them... Luna lost her step as she realized, that she has been trying to reconcile with her sister for days, but has not yet lifted the ban on visiting the night wing of the palace, that she had spoken of in the heat of the moment. “Damn it...” A creepy curse, often heard lately, involuntarily erupted from her mouth, causing her to bite her tongue. She apologized hastily to several ponies, some of whom even froze in surprise and turned their ears, and continue on her way. ... “...here - congratulations and greetings, to pay your respects, here - all sorts of questions and requests, and here - with various offers and invitations.” The thestral, who pointed in turn to stacks of envelopes of varying heights - not very impressive, though - threw an uncertain look at attentive Princess. “Thank you, Dark Whisper, you've done a great job. And I really do appreciate your help.” Luna smiled cheerfully at her helper, coming to the table. She may have lacked experience in many of her daily activities, but her tenacity, dedication, and sincere fervent devotion made the night pony learn new things rather quickly. And no matter how much Dark demonstrated in words, that she was ready to die, as required by - as the Princess of the Night thought - the monstrous and insane law, it was clearly visible how happy she really was to be alive and how grateful to her mistress for that. And how desperately afraid of letting her down... Luna sighed quietly, but Whisper, unfortunately, heard that clearly. “Something wrong, the Great one? I!..” Thestral stepped back reflexively, laying back her ears and, as it seems, getting ready to fall on her knees. “No-no, everything is great!” The alicorn hastened to assure her, lifting her gaze from the table and holding her helper softly with telekinesis. “And... Can you bring me some tea? High-mountain collection, with peppermint.” “Count it done, Great one!” The mouse-winged pegasus sighed with relief and hastened to vaporize behind the door, leaving the Princess of the Night alone with her study and two small dozens of letters on the table. Following the thestral with a gaze, Luna allowed herself to sigh again. Instead of getting closer, becoming her friend, Dark Whisper seemed, on the contrary, to have only distanced herself, finding the signs of friendly attention from her more as a reason to increase her responsibility - and trying hard now to match that level, almost completely giving herself to her service. Settling at the table, the alicorn pulled up the first letter from the pile of requests. It should have been done a long time ago... At least, the initial avalanche of congratulations and expressions of loyalty had fallen upon her sister's secretariat. And when she had her own address to write to, the flood of messages has all but abated. And before that, Tia read out her most outstanding letters before dinner... Tia... For the umpteenth time today, her thoughts returned to her sister. She accepted the apology so easily, as if nothing has happened before. She was smiling the same way, hiding her tiredness and restlessness, the same way she was avoiding questions and assuring her that everything was all right... And there was an uneasy, creepy look in her eyes at times, a kind of hopelessness. She pleaded, almost begged Luna to get rid of Nightmare as soon as possible. In her traditional way, without explaining anything and, as it seemed, completely ignoring any arguments against it. When she realized, that she was about to surrender to her unhappy sister's pleas, the Princess of the Night hurriedly left, citing business reasons. It wasn't good, but... Celestia's condition was the most eloquent argument for Nightmare to stay - and learn as soon as possible. The nightmare clung to her sister in a way, that was beginning to resemble some of the damnation the Mare in the Moon was so fond of mentioning... In light of this, Luna has not even decided yet to lift her fervent, idiotic ban on her sister - a decision that still stung from within, causing almost disgust for herself... Catching herself putting the letter aside as read, not even remembering what was in it but just mechanically glancing over the lines, Princess sighed and picked it up again to try to read it this time. The letter turned out... Unusual. It was written by some journalist, and a request for... a conversation for a newspaper is a quite typical phenomenon for them, but it also asked in extremely accurate terms what happened between her and Nightmare Moon, with a quote from her, unequivocally sending such questions to her, Luna. Alicorn drooped, taking another jab from... from the daughter she had betrayed. "You did this, you answer for it! Come out and tell what you are!” Fair enough. Well deserved. And unbearably painful... "That's why I didn't get away from Blueblood..." Princess closed her eyes a few seconds, put the letter aside and glanced at the clock. Soon it will be dinner, and not long after that the Prince would be here. But for now - work. After moving the letter she has already read again closer, Luna dipped her quill in the inkwell. She hesitated, and finally wrote a resolution in the blank space: “Denied”. Bit her lip, sighed and added below: “Perhaps later”. After another half a minute of looking somewhere through the sheet, wondering whether to write the answer herself, Princess, unable to find the moral strength, put the read message aside, this time - for good. First it was necessary to save her sister. And the truth about herself will be undoubtedly told later. ... “Good evening to you, Your Highness Princess Luna.” “Greetings, Your Grace.” Nodding at the Prince’s bow, alicorn looked at her perverse guard with a heavy gaze. “It's not for nothing that Nightmare sometimes pejoratively calls them blockheads." She mentally sighed. It was an unfortunate reluctance on the part of many of the Night Guards to realize that they were not behind enemy lines and that they did not need to distrust everyone around them. Although they have finally been taught to not escort every day pony that entered the Night Princess' domain, not everyone has yet learned how to let even those who were explicitly ordered to be let through unhindered. The Great One, you see, is dangerously neglectful of her safety... Blockheads. Giving the furry-eared subordinates another disgruntled look and making a mental note to appoint only officers to the post, Luna smiled at slightly nervous Blueblood and made an inviting gesture. They walked in silence for a while. “My admiration for the architect and designer, Your Highness." The unicorn put his hoof to his chest as he walked, not even straying from his steps. “The chambers are truly magnificent.” Princess cringed in thought. So many years have passed, but the aristocrats have not changed. She herself had tried to follow the etiquette of the dialog at first. But she has become somewhat accustomed to getting straight to the point so as not to irritate Nightmare Moon, who was irritated by all the beating about the bush. It seemed that she, too, was quietly beginning to like this approach... “I can give you a tour. And please, don't be too formal - we're not in public.” “As you wish. It would be a great pleasure to get to know the designs.” “Please, follow me.” There was a tense silence between the crowned companions again, interrupted only by the clatter of hooves on the shiny polished stone of the floor. Forcing words to appear in her mind, Luna turned to the Prince and was about to address him. But when she caught the unicorn's gaze as she turned to say something, she was confused and turned away hastily, noticing with her peripheral vision, that he did the same. “Nightmare, in that case, is usually quick to turn everything over to me, beginning to 'praise' me for my constructive dialog and lively participation in it until I get angry and really start answering something...” Alicorn chuckled with the edges of her lips, but chased away the chuckle immediately and sighed quietly. You wanted to be responsible for what you've done - do it. No one is going to make life easier for you... “You were... Going... To continue our conversation, weren't you? In the garden?” Princess gritted her teeth and exhaled determinedly for a second, but managed to squeeze it out. The stallion, who seemed to have just reassembled for some question, lost his step for a moment. Luna paused, letting him keep his distance. “Yes, Your Highness.” He nodded gloomily, getting over the second perplexity. “Though, frankly, I don't quite know how to continue it, and I don't know if I need to. You have already said your word, and I should stop looking for something in it that would allow me to continue clinging to my aunt's beautiful tale. There was not a shred of truth in the whole story!” Prince gritted his teeth and whipped his tail on his side. “So maybe there’s none in our whole history!” Luna turned her gaze away, letting it at the floor. Tia... did allow herself to argue with history in some places, mostly by trying to round off and soften the hardest and bloodiest pages of it as much as possible. The raids by griffon gangs, for example, remained as a fact, but the fact that they not only robbed, but often massacred entire small villages, enslaved ponies, and some - Princess shuddered - even ate their prisoners... Perhaps her sister was right in this, not glossing over these or those facts, but only trying to shield the peaceful people of the ponies from the most disgusting details. “As far as I have become familiar with modern history, it is nowhere blatantly against the facts that I personally know, although it avoids unnecessarily bloody and brutal moments.” “Except for the story with your banishment.” The unicorn added gloomily, stopping and looking somewhere aside. Luna stopped too, and stared at the painting, that has caught her interlocutor's attention. In the painting, an alicorn, who looked vaguely like herself, wearing old-fashioned armor and a glaive held by her leg, along with a pair of equally old-fashioned-looking guards, stood in front of a watchtower with a modern Equestrian flag flying on a flagpole. "Princess Protector" read the title at the bottom of the frame. “Sister loves me, even if I don't deserve it.” Slowing, she replied finally. “And she wanted everyone to know you like this and no more, though that wasn't true." The stallion nodded frowningly at the picture. “She forgave me for what I did.” Princess dropped her gaze at the floor. “For the wounds I inflicted on her - mental and bodily. She wanted to start everything anew...” “And then, to everyone's glee, it brought me, and everything fell apart, yeah.” Luna and Blueblood shivered and turned around simultaneously at the unexpected voice behind them. “Greetings, Nightmare...” The Princess of the Night said hi a bit shyly. So ill-timed... Or?.. And why did she, who tolerated the company of the younger diarch with a marked moral effort on her part, suddenly come up and speak first? “Honestly, I didn't expect to see you today. Yes, allow me to introduce His Grace Prince Blueblood. Prince Blueblood - this is Her Grace Princess Nightmare Moon.” “Very... pleased... to... meet... Your... Your Grace." The unicorn panted with an effort, stepping back involuntarily under the Mare in the Moon's sharp gaze, which, though, she quickly averted. “I can't sleep 'cause of our beloved trainings.” She mumbled. “Blueblood you said...” She glanced quickly towards the Prince again and looked away after a moment, though Luna caught a glimpse of an eyebrow arching in surprise, as if Nightmare knew the Prince - and was surprised at what he was doing here in the first place. “And why do you need him? Don't you say me you're looking for a lover?” “You!.. Yes!.. I!.. No!!!” Nightmare's savage guess caught her by surprise in a moment. How she? Why would?!.. How can!.. “Yeah, truly, what am I talking about... Who needs you anyway?” The black alicorn chuckled unfriendly and, coming closer, looked at the painting as well. “Painter with a mouth, damn it. Even I know, that the flag was different back then...” “Y-Your Grace, I... I must insist, that you apologize to Her Highness!” The unicorn suddenly stepped forward on trembling legs, as if trying to at least partially cover Princess Luna with himself. “Prince Blueblood!..” Luna, who has not had time to stop the stallion, has come to her senses and now only bit her lip. Discord! Where’s he!.. Clearly out of sorts, or rather, in her frequent state of silent rage over what was probably a failure. Nightmare could strike anyone particularly annoying without remorse with a lightning. There have been three or four such incidents. And now, apparently, there would be another... “What the best person you've found to protect, ay.” But she seemed to calm down a bit instead, glancing at the unicorn again with an appraising glance. Then, for some reason uncharacteristically fast, back at the painting. With a silent exhale, Luna loosened her grip, allowing the hastily created shield spell to disintegrate. “You think she's like this one here, don't you?” The Mare in the Moon nodded at the painting. “No. Princess Luna told me about... Her mistakes in the past.” He answered grimly. “But even with this taken in count, I don't think it’s right...” “How much did she?” Now Nightmare glanced at the alicorn with an appraising glance, interrupting Blueblood, who snorted indignantly at that. “That she almost killed her sister, stained the weapon with her blood and left you, her faithful comrade, to die alone!” The Princess of the Night looked defiantly. “So you only told me about the daughter?” Luna recoiled back reflexively from something chill in the Nightmare Moon's gaze. “Daughter?..” “Yes, Prince, daughter.” The Mare in the Moon bared her teeth evilly, not turning her gaze away from Luna. “She didn't leave just some comrade to die, right, Luna?” “You left?!.. Oh, Celestia... It... It can't be!..” The unicorn looked at both alicorns with fear. It’s her revenge. It should be denied, no talk! She wouldn't be trusted!.. Be silent, hide, disguise... Run away from the responsibility, as usual. And lost the chance for forgiveness for good. Enough. I won't run anymore. “Alas to me, Blueblood.” Her own voice sounded foreign to Princess - muffled, dry, and lifeless... “Thanks to me, Nightmare Moon appeared. And for everything she did for me, I repaid her by betraying her and leaving her for certain death. Only thanks to the Elements of Harmony is she alive again.” The words flew off the tongue without effort, though tears welled up in the eyes. And there was also a sense of... freedom. Let everyone hate her, but lies and fear had no power over her anymore. Luna looked into Nightmare's eyes, which were filled with astonishment and some unspeakable longing in the depths. “B-but... why?!” Blueblood, tilting, leaned against a wall. “But I did not understand whom I created. And then I began to fear instead of trying to understand. And one day that fear took over for good. Only in the last moment I had the time to have a doubt, but it couldn't have been stopped...” The Princess of the Night sighed brokenly, feeling the recent calmness beginning to fade. “I remember.” Nightmare's quiet voice came out of nowhere, shattering the oppressive and ominous silence in the corridor. “What?” Luna barely found the strength to ask. “Realization, that you felt in the last moment. And uncertainty, after which fear came... I just dove into the memory... To support the needed level of angriness, so to speak.” Nightmare chuckled quietly and creepy. “And just bumped into the right moment.” “Sorry.” “Go to devil. Or to your Prince, who is about to have a stroke.” It's true... Luna sighed, turning to the completely stunned unicorn, trying to suppress her emotions and somehow calm her frantically pounding heart. “I’m very sorry for this family play, Your Grace. Are you alright?” “A? No... I fear I’m not.” The unicorn flinched, peeled away from the wall and, in violation of all the written and unwritten rules, sat down exhaustedly right on the floor. “Honestly, it’s hard to believe, that... Oh, h-hay...” “You, as I understand, came with questions? Now live with the answers.” Nightmare hummed sadly. “Welcome to depression. Consider yourself at home, you're here for a long time.” “Honestly, Your Grace, I understand why Princess Luna could fear you so much, even though partially...” Prince mumbled. “It doesn't excuse me, Blueblood. Nightmare is the way she is because of me.” “Well, you found the courage to tell all about this.” Prince chuckled nervously, looking at the floor and frantically fixing his hair. “But you must understand, that...” He hesitated. “That you’ll let the cat out of the bag for all Canterlot.” Nightmare hinted with an even voice, wandering across the corridor with her gaze. “I’m Prince and not going to drop my honor so low, Your Grace!” Blueblood sent a lightning by his gaze, standing up. “I swear, Your Highness, that these words will not leave from within these walls. And... The monstrosity of what you have done surpasses anything I have ever known, but also your courage to admit it to the eyes of an outsider pony... Truly, I have received answers with which I do not know what to do.” “And still... I allow you to talk about this if the desire appears. Especially because I’ll tell it myself sooner or later.” “By no means, Your Highness.” The unicorn looked at Luna. Sighed. “It’s not like I’m against your breathtaking story on the main square.” The Mare in the Moon said thoughtfully after a few dozens of long seconds, interrupting the hung silence. “But hold your horses, blue one. Because I’m a little afraid of the things that can happen to Tia if you do this...” “Oh... Thank you, Nightmare. I'm already... I do first, then I think, just as you mock..." Luna glanced at Prince, who has re-seated himself against the wall, and joined him. “It's a bit of a surprise that you care about my aunt...” “Tia is my friend, Prince.” Nightmare, with a brief glance at the unicorn beside him and at the alicorn sitting a little further to his left, hesitated, and after walking a few steps so that Luna was in the middle, she too flopped down on the floor. “O-of... No truth in legs, ay?..” Silence. “I must say... I’m even surprised, that you defend me after what you've heard. Aren't you the least bit confused by what I said?” Luna looked thoughtfully at the stallion. “They frightened me, Your Highness. But... You're not a monster, like Sombra or Nightmare Moon, which was drawn in history, you... You regret. And I hope, that one day you’ll make peace. I'm sorry if I'm interfering...” “I... Thanks for believing in me, Blueblood.” “Nightmare Moon?” “What do you need?” “Please, give Princess Luna a chance, like you gave to my aunt.” “Tia didn't betray me, glossy.” Silence felt again. “Maybe tea? I’ll order it to be...” Luna offered shyly. There was a kind of unbelievable emptiness in the head, just as it seemed to be in everyone else's here. “Without me.” Nightmare Moon got on her feet, sniffing. “I’m going to bed. I've had enough of talks today.” “Your Grace?” “Perhaps a sedative." Prince chuckled, glancing at some stricken Nightmare as she strode nervously down the corridor, awkwardly warming up her wings. “And Your Highness...” “Yes, Blueblood?” “It's late now, of course, but... You promised me a tour.” 50. The Tension PointAuthor's Note "The decision is made." Original author's note. About the "Current state". This joke is untranslatable, since Russian Текущее состояние SHOULD be translated as "current state ", but literally it can be translated as "dripping state", when something is leaking out of someone (in this case). 50. The Tension Point Cold water rushed over my head, making my fur on my withers grow cold and puffy. “Fucking die, Prince!..” I took a step forward, putting my back under the jets as well. Now I was desperately trying to squeeze into a point under the practically icy water crashing down on me from the ceiling. A huge shower head with a diameter as big as a meter was hanging from it. Oh, damn it!.. But I should recover myself.. My heart was still pounding furiously in my chest, rigging in my ears, tugging at my floppy wings, that refused to fit snugly against my body. My belly was filled with the heat and heavy languor, that I was now trying to extinguish with water. I shuddered, almost reflexively pulling up my legs, as I stepped further under the shower. The stream of water hit my croup, sliding icy streams down my thighs and belly. I swore again, feeling my flaming cheeks stand out especially against the cold fur. Damn it... I haven't dreamed of porn for a while, and in this life, I think I had never. The details vanished from my mind as soon as I opened my eyes, but the fact that I was figuratively spending the night with Blueblood was well remembered. Damned horse!.. Last night, if that body had had a stallion unit - it would have been bumping the floor from a boner, bastard! I had a very suspicious urge to examine stallions and wake up from vague, but obviously exciting dreams... Have “these days” come, as one "well versed in mares" doctor had promised?.. I gritted my teeth and shook my head irritably, whipping my wet mane into my muzzle. I was catching my thoughts as they crept from the doctor to Mac and then to the passionate comparison between him and Blueblood. That seemed to be why Rar had fallen out of the conversation once, clearly thinking about the wrong thing with a dreamy expression on her face... After I turned off the shower, I walked shakily to the bowl of the small pool, exhaled, and plunged into it, sinking up to my neck. The cold water didn't scald my more or less prepared body anymore, but it still hit the hottest places, making me cramp up for a moment. Ah-h!.. Without the "cover", which partially reduced the sensitivity of the organs to external influences, it would have been extreme... I got used to it a little, went to the edge, overcoming the resistance of the water. I rested my head on the edge, gritting my teeth and waiting for the shiver to pass over my body. “I don't even know what's the best of the cursed two: bleed out and get mad for a few days a month or watch porn in every dream and lick lips at every passing stallion...” I mumbled through teeth sadly, examining gloomily the darkness behind blurry dim “impenetrable” window. Woke up at the crack of dawn again... To be fair, of course, it's hard for me to compare. The male body was definitely more practical in this respect... Although... Getting hit by a belt buckle by accident, just putting on jeans, is also quite a sensation... I took my chin off the floor, inhaled, and pushed off the edge and fell into the pool, letting my body sink beneath the water. I opened my wings, exhaled, releasing a stream of bubbles into the haloed mane hovering around me. I enjoyed the dense, heavy chill enveloping my open wings and head. As I emerged, I leaned my forelegs on the edge. So, is this the kind of thing that's going to happen every month now? I threw the wet mane back from my face. I looked wistfully into the water, through which the rippling outlines of my own belly and hind legs, surrounded by a halo of tail hair, were showing through. The solution, albeit a temporary one, was actually there, give a hoof, as they called it. Literally... The right front leg plunged under the water...frozen in mid-motion. I hesitated and with some effort put it back on the edge. No, fuck this. I'm not so... ready to go into... exploring my new body, even though after all the days I've lived in it, it's not what you'd call new. Someday, of course, I will get used to the idea that I am a mare in my new life, with new rules and in a new world. I will gradually get used to it... Maybe I will like it. Yeah... Someday. Not now. I'd better get back to work now. Maybe I wouldn't have time to think about it anymore. Damn... ... “... Fine. Thanks for understanding, Inkwell.” “Don't mention it, Your Grace, I understand, that ponies like you have a crowded schedule. If you have some time, you can read the next topic in the meantime, so we don't have to start from scratch.” “I'd if I have to.” “Goodbye, Your Grace.” After saying goodbye to the professor, I hurriedly closed the door. By that I wouldn't catch myself staring at another stallion for the umpteenth time that day. I had to generally, referring to the terrible busyness, to send him to hell, because I'm afraid to even wonder what would be for me in the current, not quite adequate state, an hour and a half classes in his presence... I was annoyed and whipped my tail on my side. No, I wasn't losing my head, of course, but my attention and thoughts were very easily and willingly focused on... on the wrong thing! Abyss! Maybe it was the lack of habit, maybe it was a very long absence of representatives of the opposite sex in the radius of my slightly mare body. I do not know, but my hormones were literally boiling inside, and excitement pounced like crazy, if I found a slightest reason. “Braaha-a-a!.. How do they live with this?..” I whined under my breath sadly. “They live good, with pleasu-ure”... Damn it. I rubbed the bridge of my nose with a heavy sigh. It's really my own fault for paying so much attention to it... It goes willingly where I concentrate! Yesterday, for example, I somehow managed to talk to the blue one and, more importantly, Blueblood, who stopped by to see her. Yes, I behaved like a fool, answered in some places inappropriately, caught myself periodically thinking about what a dense aura the Prince has, what a strong magician he is and what a graceful long horn he has, how under the skin with shiny alabaster fur rolls dense harnesses of strong muscles, what a magnificent long golden mane, and his eyes, eyes!.. Roaring and rearing up, I hoofed the stone floor, deliberately not softening my landing. My stomach felt suspiciously warm and heavy again. Damn it! Let the abyss tear that Prince! I’m a fool as well, damn it! Remembering that fucking sex symbol in my current state! Current state... Current state... I snorted and laughed, reflexively trying to fold in half. A-a-a, da-amn!.. It was so beautifully phrased!.. And try to argue - the state is quite current... Geez!.. Somehow ending the laughter, I shook my head, suppressing the coming chuckles in myself. Damn... Well, in reality, my current - stop laughing! - state is not absolutely current, which really helps. I don't seem to leave any wet spots, the "cover" doesn't knock out spontaneously, so... we'll get through it. The main thing is not to look at the stallions too much. And on all sorts of oblong objects, too, just to be safe... I cursed quietly as I felt my cheeks blushing. That's it, hell with it! It’s better for me to have a cup of tea. To rejoice once again that I am clever and prudent and have foresightedly ordered me to provide everything in the living room for the preparation of it. And I hope I'm done with obsessive thoughts for the day. And let Rarity think of handsome Blueblood... What a competitor... Damn it. ... DA-A-ANG! “Fall, you're killed!” I chuckled for a moment at the smoldering training ponyquin with a black spike on the side of its neck, wrinkling my nose from the burning and persistent smell of ozone. I wonder if my current is alternating or direct?.. I chuckled at the delirious thought and shook my head tiredly. Then walked over to my target and poured water from a bucket onto this smoldering thing. I grimaced and took a step back in haste when a small puddle of water touched my hooves on the floor. All right, let's call it a day. The horn was beginning to signal that it have had enough of magic... “Will you clean that up?” I looked around the mayhem with doubt. In addition to the burnt one, a couple of ponyquins had turned to ashes and were now lying in piles on the floor, which was also decorated with puddles and scorch marks. “Of course, my Great One! Happy to serve!” The bat-winged guard of unexpected bright crimson color, who was in charge of the training room today, bowed enthusiastically. She kept looking at me with admiring eyes throughout my experimentation, and it was embarrassing at first... Well, surprisingly, I had admirers among the Luna's blockheads. A few, but at least some. Interesting, what Luna is going to do with them? They, if something happens, will likely support me, than her... And heck with it, I guess. Luna accommodate them - let her have a headache about that. I said a short goodbye to the guard-fan, who was fixing my ponyquin, and left the training room. I think I'll go organize some food for myself... Why am I here today all of a sudden? I've been watching a lot of memory lately, and I was curious to try something from it. I got in again today, and drowned the stupid excitement with appalling mood I always find there along the way... But I did it for a good cause - and I found some interesting spells, and they were tested at the shooting range, so I got myself back in the mood, too. Although... Yeah... Partially only... I know now, for example, a half combat-half torture spell. It overloads nerve channels and causes severe pain up to and including cramps all over the body in the most random and unforeseen places. Nightmare had originally created it as an anti-aircraft, so that Tia, running away on the wings, could be shot down. But the thing, which looked like a gradually expanding web in flight, was too slow to catch up with the flying pony. How did Nightmare choose the power of influence for it? Of course experimentally. On the only living target on the Moon. On herself. I shuddered nervously, remembering the sensations caught by the edge of my consciousness. No, I'd use it against only some really fucked-up scumbags - the “Shock Net” spell... In addition, I practiced what I knew and more or less mastered: the usual magic beam, impulse, lightning - I love that crackle, damn it... I tried to configure the shields - it goes like “nah, C and no more”. If Shining's shield then, I remember, felt like a thick rubber backed by a mass of water, then mine, glowing with its characteristic native turquoise, looked at best like an inflated plastic bag, giving no sense of reliability at all. I was not very good at its form yet either... But, nevertheless, I grew a lot in magic during this month. The regular lessons, answers to any questions, and any possible books on the subject within walking distance had a very positive effect on the results. And my body was slowly coming to its senses, allowing me to do things, which would have sent me to the hospital earlier. And that feeling of energy flowing inside as you cast your spell... I blissfully squeezed my eyes shut. Oh, man, for the horn and the wings I'm even ready to forgive this body's gender identity! Well, if right now, then I'm ready! And when the next problem and inconvenience comes up with it again, I won't be ready, as usual... I chuckled briefly. “Greetings, Nightmare! I’m happy to see you in a good state of mind!” I was greeted as I turned the corner of the corridor. “Cadence? Hi. What brings you here?” I saluted the friendly pink alicorn with a wing and headed towards her. “Auntie gave me a few day offs - so I stopped by Luna. Haven't seen her in a while... She's so poor..” She drooped for a moment. “Then I thought of going to you, but the guards said you're not there.” “I’m back, as you see.” I moved with a wing. “Will you come in?” “Of course, Nightmare.” Princess smiled. “Let's go then.” I nodded in the direction she'd come from, staring at the mare for a moment. No matter how good Cadence draws make up, but exhaustion was written not on her face - on her whole body. It seems, that someone is really tired of replacing Tia on the throne... “Sorry for not stopping by earlier, Nightmare.” Lowering ears, the interlocutor confessed bitterly, when we were about to come into my chambers. “Cadence, have you seen yourself in a mirror?” I looked askew at her, slowing the pace. Nuts... “When was the last time you slept more than four hours, huh? Hungry?” “A bit.” She replied shyly. “Luna and I had a good snack, but it was a long time ago... And I got a good sleep!” “I believe you, yeah, yeah.” I nodded meaningfully. “Four hours plus a liter of coffee are still not “a good sleep”, Cadence. It’s more like “trying to have a good sleep”...” “Find me a servant to arrange a supper for two in my chambers. And tea with something tasty.” I addressed to a pair of blockheads, guarding next to the doors of my temporary apartments. Noting the beginning of the execution of my highest will, I opened the door: “Come in.” “I’m not that sleepy.” The alicorn grumbled, stepping over threshold. “And I don't look that bad!” “Yeah, uh-huh. And who was whining then, in the letters, about having no time to sleep? Fall down, there are poufs lying around - grab yourself a couple of pieces. And yank the pillow off the chair. How are you doing at general?” “Well, okay, I’m a bit exhausted - you already noted that. And exaggerated.” The violet eyes of Princess looked at me reproachfully. But she heeded the advice and sprawled out on the poufs, pillow and fluffy living room carpet. “I've seen Shiny only two times during this period.” She sighed. About stallions, by the way... “Sir Clear is again hanging around with his bill, proposing the same thing in different wording for the second week, and making him review and reject it over and over again! Because he won't get the money, he wo-o-on't! Oh... And this Highly Likely! Auntie’s press-secretary, you know? Honestly, I want to...” Fucking kill her? “...Fire her and never let her near the palace again!” Ponies... “Oh, sorry, Nightmare... I guess you become tired of these work moments and their depictions? I've already complained to Luna, and now I’m complaining to you, I just can't stop." The alicorn became cutely embarrassed. “Well, I asked how you were myself." I hummed, also laying on the rug on my side and trying to prop my head up with my hoof. Mediocre pose, not the best in terms of ergonomics. “It's just as I wrote to you in my letters-it's really boring." Cadence waved away hopelessly. “Everything important, everything essential - and everything has to be done in the way that pleases everyone... How has auntie been ruling Equestria for the whole centuries? I’m so sorry for her..." “You’ll get used to it and won't be worse than her. Maybe you'd even like it.” I chuckled. “Marry your Shining, conquer some kingdom from some tyrant and rule there as an alicorn...” “Nice joke.” My guest giggled blushingly. “And even marrying Shining... I’m not quite sure...” She hid her muzzle from me. “Oh, why are we talking about me and only me? How are you, Nightmare?” Princess hastened to change the topic subtly and elegantly. “Luna said, that you study, don't you?” “Kinda.” I moved with a wing, making myself more comfortable on my belly and resting head on the folded fore legs. “Learn something, and sometimes it works... I don't know what to tell about it.” “I can't hold myself from this question... Excuse me, please, if it's unpleasant for you...” The interlocutor hesitated. “You and Luna are getting along?” “Don't you tell me you didn't ask that herself.” “I did, but... wanted to..” “To get on my nerves on a plain spot.” I sighed. “Somehow we are. Both are alive, as you see. What else is needed?” “And you feel absolutely nothing towards her? Even now, when you live together, she teaches you and...” Got on my head, damn it! Cadence, I wish you ripping diarrhea during sex!.. “I don't have a clue how I feel towards her, is that clear?” I interrupted the prater mid-word, diligently pressing her with a gaze “And it's all because of you!” I stood up sharply, poking my hoof accusingly in the direction of the frightened alicorn. Then I walked quickly towards the bedroom, ignoring the bewildered call. I went in, looked for the letters of the blue one, and headed back. I was greeted in the living room by distraught and confused Cadence, with a "What have I done?” on her face. “Here! Seems familiar?” I waved with the sheets of paper before her nose. “Well, yes...” The alicorn mumbled shyly, taking the letters with a loss and watching the top one for a moment. “And what y...” “You're the one who wrote ‘em, aren't you?” I flopped back down on the rug, feeling the flash of emotion fade away, leaving behind a kind of tired apathy. “Luna, with her phenomenal abilities to get along with others, wouldn't think of it in her entire life.” “Absolutely not, Nightmare.” Sighing, Princess shifted feet shyly and laid down further away, giving me a sad gaze. “I just hinted what she can try to write about to not irritate you.” “Like you know what does and what does not.” I grumbled under my breath, but the interlocutor heard that anyway. “Not this way... Just... Felt it would be... Right? And after that I was with Luna to support her.” “Why did you feel need in that at all?” I was about to get up, but fell back, waving away with a hand in thought. What difference does it make, really? And what do I even want to hear from her? “Both of you are my friends, Nightmare! I don't want you to quarrel!” “Quarre-el?!” I almost started to hiss. “Do you even know what happened there to call it a quarrel?!” “I know, Nightmare.” She looked right in my eyes and but lost the gazes’ fight, but her voice was still defiant, even when she started to sharply examine the floor. “Luna told me everything - and this is why I promised her to do everything I can to make peace between both of you! And when I know, that you're... Siblings - I won't get back at all!” “She blabbed it out even to you?” I raised my brows in surprise. I didn't expect that from the blue one - not yesterday, not now... “What difference does it make if I'm not going to forgive her?” “But you don't feel the previous rage towards her?” Cadence looked at me with pity and hope. “I'd like to have it!..” “Why? For what?” Stupid horse! Fucking shit, gets on my nerves!.. “Because...” I stumbled, feverishly trying to state a reason. Not “because of what?” “For what?”.. Damn it, Cadence!.. “You're alive, you're healthy, you have friends. A life with all its variety lies before you, your future does! And Luna has the same! Isn't it a good ending for everyone? Isn't it a reason to pardon the mistakes of past?” “Don't you poke your nose into that!” I hissed coldly, greeting teeth. Cadence, you're going for a story after which I'll have to kill you so it doesn't go to the masses. Just in case! You pink bastard, I wish you were torn and glued to pieces! God damn you with that kind of talk! “A good ending” she found, damn it... For Luna maybe, but for me... But for me... For previous me-human - not bad, I guess, but for me-pony... Yeah, like I’m not a pony, what a cool fairy tale... For Nightmare... I thought there wasn't much left of her, but was I right? It's hard for me to even mentally divide myself into parts: I am what I am. I love the flying, the horn-ringing magic and its possibilities, the attention to myself. I stare at stallions - even if it's because of physiology... I want to believe that it's physiology, yeah... And I also unwittingly cringe at the feeling of a look into my back under the starry night sky and I am desperately afraid, that everyone will leave me alone and, sometimes, I wind myself on this subject - in order to cry on the shoulder of my friend after the relief of meeting... I am Nightmare. I am as well. Changed under the weight of loss and the strokes of fate and under the influence of man and the Elements of Harmony. But we don't say someone is dead when they change over time, do we? They say sometimes "After that he died to me" if some change they can't accept, but the key here is still "to me", right? And if I'm pretty much a Nightmare, which survived on the Moon, which came back here and found friendship and understanding and was able to move on, then... it really didn't end so horribly?.. What if this is all just a thought for self-soothing, and I'm deluding myself?.. “Cadence, I’ll... Destroy you in the next duel.” With a sigh, I raised my muzzle, which was tucked into my front legs. I'll even do a Shock Net for this one, damn! To make you feel something similar to what I'm feeling right now! Pink bastard... “Sorry, Nightmare. I really am.” Alicorn laid back her ears with a sigh and guiltily looked away “I wanted to better it... I shouldn't have pressed so much. Sorry.” “Hell with you...” The bell rang. “Go meet our food if you're so smart and understand everyone.” I grumbled, standing up. “And put the pillows on the floor in a more colorful way. I’ll put this waste paper.” I nodded at the ill-fated letters. ”On its place.” ... “Tasty! I think I've never tasted such a thing.” Cadence fell onto the poufs with satisfaction. “Your loss.” I moved with a wing, chuckling shortly. “My loss.” The guest agreed, sighing with a clear strain. “But... Isn't it too caloric?” “Don't care.” I smiled, baring teeth. And if you look, considering how rickety my new body turned out to be, becoming fat was not a realistic prospect for me now. Especially considering the fact, that this body is not so easy to feed. “I'll have to count it." Alicorn sighed again, stroking her belly and glancing enviously at my still-not-empty plate. Fried potatoes with onions and mushrooms, sour cream, cucumber - though, not salted, but fresh, damn it - but still. M-m!.. Why didn't they cook in that way? They used to eat mushrooms, fry potatoes, and have sour cream - but they never combined them, stupid horses. Long live the progression and enlightenment of the savages! I chuckled and crunched on a cucumber wedge with pleasure. “I’m... Of! Oh!..” Cadence tried to get up, and she looked at me with a pitying look as she straightened up. “I ate too much!” “Do you want me to roll you to bed?” I asked, and could hardly keep from bursting into laughter at the pitying, angry, judgmental look in response. “Nightmare!.. Argh!..” Princess rolled her eyes. “Villain! If only you ate like everypony instead of doing it prone!..” Yes, I was not afraid of a bit of sibilance, but I had a low table. It was literally a dozen or so centimeters. And I used that to sit behind on poufs and cushions when I was in the mood, taking advantage of the opportunity to eat with my horn without making any unnecessary movements. At first, Cadence was trying to lecture me about it, but I somehow managed to persuade her, and now I was enjoying the indignation. While suffering Princess of love, sighing pitifully, staggered and shuffled from foot to foot, I quickly finished my portion. Then I got rid of the extra dishes, and began to pour the tea, causing the guest a heart-rending groan with a plate of cakes on the table. It seemed that someone was afraid of losing too much in this battle. Form, for example... I chuckled. “I won't come to see you anymore.” Caddie grumbled hopelessly, settling back down on the cushions along the table. “Try those yellow "baskets" over there, with the pineapple slices. They’re tasty.” I demonstratively recommended in response, feeling a slightly malicious smile spreading across my lips. “You're unbearable!” Princess rolled her eyes and, with a heavy sigh, leaned closer to the dish, scrutinizing the assortment. “Eat, eat, my friend. And soon you’ll be unbearable as well... And needed and heavy...” I couldn't hold it and sobbed, nuzzling into a pillow. “Nightmare!!!” Something soft and heavy hit my shoulder. “Sorry-sorry. Kh-h... Of...” I somehow ended the laughter under an angry gaze of the interlocutor, still chuckling a bit. Then I lifted myself up, put my front legs out in a conciliatory gesture, and handed her back the pillow with my telekinesis. “I’ll think about it!” She sulked demonstratively, sniffing unhappily, picking up her returned "weapon”. With a titanic effort I swallowed one more dig. I wanted to advise that it would be better to think with a pastry. I chased it away with warm tea and chewed an eclair, thrown in the mouth whole. We ended the tea in silence. “Listen, Cadence...” I remembered my problem. You irritated me with awkward questions - now it’s my turn! Although, of course, it's still a very big question for whom these conversations will be more uncomfortable... “M?” “You're Princess of love, aren't you? If it’s not a secret - what part of it?..” The question sounded somehow uncertain, with the feeling that I wouldn't like any answer. “First of all, the love of sweets.” I looked at her gloomily. Kidding. Cadence looked at me with a professional brick face and shifted her gaze to the plate of sweets, that still had something left. “If seriously? Sorry, I mocked you a bit, yes...” I sighed. “I don't have a clue, honestly.” The alicorn sighed as well, slowing. “I don't really know the limits of my talents yet. If you want to find out something about... carnal love." She blushed cutely. "Well, I... know something, sure, but... it's hard to call me a professional in... that field. But I’ll try.” “I’m...” Damn it, it's harder than I thought... “I’m... Very attracted... To stallions. Generally, I don't know what is it and what to do.” I stated in a crumpled way, being silently happy - I said everything and don't have to say anything more. “Well, it's a normal thing for a mare to be attracted to stallions.” Cadence looked at me with a doubt and went wordless, awaiting reaction. Kidding. I bit my lip thoughtfully. Damn, should I say her my feelings about stallions? And about mares, and about relationships in general... She’ll try to find this out, damn her... Or maybe even help! Nah, let’s try something without great losses for now. “Well, yes, but the last couple of days I can hardly take my eyes off of them!” Princess raised an eyebrow in surprise. Without waiting for me to continue, she raised a second one. “You... I mean, you don't understand, really?” “I have guesses.” I moved with a wing indefinably. “I won't believe in you not having hot days!” “Equalogist had to describe me what “cover” is on my first appointment. Try to argue against that.” “A... Oh...” Alicorn rubbed her forehead perplexedly. “Really?” “My memory got a bad hit, yeah.” “But... Don't you... Oh... Sorry. It's awful!” The purple eyes’ gaze was full of sympathy. “Don't say “awful”, help me - that'd be better.” I grumbled, lowering eyes. I don't like this way of looking at me... “I will, of course.” Cadence hastened to assure me. “Well, where to begin... You don't understand what's going on at all?” “Well, I know something... The main thing for me is when, for how long, and how to fight.” I waved away. “Well... Mostly it's on an individual basis. For a healthy pony, estrus occurs every month, within two to six days usually. The strength also varies: one does not notice almost, and the other can hardly keep herself in her hooves, but as a rule, there is something in between. In spring, from about April, the estrus stage lasts longer and is more intense, and becomes weaker with the beginning of autumn. How to fight it... Should we fight it? Why?” Shortly answering the questions, Cadence looked at me questioningly at the last point. What kind of a stupid question is that? If I asked - I need to! “It bothers me.” “With the help of your special pony or husband.” Cadence smiled fleetingly. “Or, well... M-m... Special kind of toys - if you understand what I mean. I don't know of any other ways to deal with arousal. Or, as an option, just be patient - it's not a big deal, and it doesn't take long. The "cover" doesn't go away, does it?” She looked a bit nervous at me. “It doesn't, I guess.” I waved my wings uncertainly, wishing I'd never gotten into this. Caddie, by all appearances, has quickly ceased to blush, now reasoning with the impartiality of a medic, but I... Shit... “Well, that means everything is alright.” Alicorn smiled. Alright for you! “Maybe... Well... A potion or somethin’, a spell?” “Oh Celestia, why do you need this dirt?!” Princess opened her eyes wide. “I'm sorry, you're probably just not familiar with these potions... There are potions, yes, but they are for emergencies, when due to pathology the mare literally loses her head these days, turning into a clot of instincts. The disease, fortunately, is very rare, and now there are even opportunities to cure it completely. I think that in twenty years this problem will have been defeated.” “What about the potions?” "So far we've had to use them to stop seizures, but honestly, if you ask me, I'd rather just tie up the poor one for a week than give her this toxic thing! The health effects are... deplorable. And, worst of all, it's addictive.” Alicorn sighed. Well, as always - shit is everywhere. I’m barely surprised. ... “And the spells... I've only heard of one, but it turns off all emotion, makes the pony... Like not alive." Cadence shuddered. “After the incident with Dr. Heartless' team, whose name you may know from books on anatomy and especially the anatomy of wings, this spell is forbidden for study and use without the personal permission of Princess Celestia.” “What incident?” There are bad suspicions, given the connection in the same sentence of the spell of emotionlessness and the writing of detailed anatomical handbooks... “I... I don't want to go further into that topic.” Princess answered a bit sharply, shivering. “And honestly - I don't have the right to. I’ll just say, that no one died and everything ended good just by a miracle.” “Got it... Sorry.” “Forget it, Nightmare.” Cadence smiled faintly. “So, about my question - suffer only?” “Well... Yes? It may be so difficult for you now from the first, but I think that in time you will stop reacting so acutely to it. Don't worry, Nightmare, everything will be all right. And if you have any such questions, don't hesitate to ask, I will always try to help my friend." She nodded encouragingly at me and began to reluctantly get out of the cushions in an attempt to stand up. “I think I’ll go. I definitively have to make some moves...” “Well, bye. Was happy to see ya.” “Same.” Princess answered back. “Stop by if you get hungry.” I winked, causing a harsh look. “Not funny!” “Come on. It’s so good to mock you.” “Nightmare!..” Alicorn rolled her eyes. ... “Sorry for disturbing you, Great Mother...” Coming in, the thestral said the “Great” part clearly doubtfully - and it was already usual. With some relief, I relaxed and turned my head toward him a little hastily: “What’s the matter?” “You’re... Wanted to be seen. Now.” The muscular, trim guard with an attractive, neat beard, explained evasively. “Who's there?..” I mumbled under my breath, turning to the tall, exquisitely built unicorn mare, whose chocolate mane was already gleaming with rare gray hair. She got it without words: “I guess we have to postpone our class, Your Grace?” She looked at me a bit questioningly. I nodded. “In this case, I suggest you to get back to the high art of dancing the day after tomorrow.” “Fine. Goodbye - and thanks for the science, Hi.” “I’m glad to help, Your Grace.” The unicorn smiled composedly. “Goodbye.” Accompanying the parting with an elegant and well-judged bow, the torturer-teacher of - God damn it - high art of etiquette, left the hall, accompanied by a suspicious glance of the unexpected visitor. Yes, and how she was streamlined, so as not to make me inadvertently look like an ill-mannered scarecrow in her eyes: "dancing", not holding a posture or mixing up spoons... Okay. “So... Who needs me so urgently?” I turned my gaze towards the guard. “Queen Celestia.” He chuckled at something, but immediately returned a brick expression on his face. “Why is it so secrete?” I looked away from the visitor with a strain. “You could've said that right off the bat.” Tia, yeah... It was expected, though. Even later than I had hoped at the time, when Luna reported that her sister had returned from her trips across the country. “She... very much asked not to be told who was calling." The guard explained with marked pleasure. “But your desire to know is higher than this, Great Mother.” “So you wouldn't have told me if I hadn't asked.” I hummed. “Okay, where’s she waiting? Let’s have a talk.” ... “Nightmare Moon.” The voice of the snowy mare echoed lightly under the high vaults of the palace corridor. “Hello, Princess.” Tia looked like... like she returned from a war - an analogy that somehow begged to be made. Everything looked the same, and nothing has changed, but there was something in her eyes. The shadows beneath them, the reddened eyes filled with fatigue and leaden heaviness - a stark contrast to the kind and full of life eyes, that had captured my soul... I just wanted to come closer and hug her. “I want you to leave Canterlot.” Celestia didn't choose soft wordings. Harsh... “Is everything that bad?” I asked uncertainly. Her words, of course, is kind of an answer - the dreams got her nerves heavily, but... “I've had worse.” She stated plainly. She froze for a moment, sighed and drooped a bit. “Please, Nightmare. I... Me...” The snowy alicorn hesitated. “Go away”, you say... And leave you like that?” I chuckled sadly, decrypting the stumble as a repeat of the request. “Have you seen yourself in a mirror?” “Nothing out of the ordinary is happening to me, no need to worry in vain. I'm just a little more tired than usual. And it hasn't been the easiest trip, either." She repeated with pressing, lifting gaze and trying to smile reassuringly. It... Didn't work out well. Yeah, Tia, I believe you. Believe you wholeheartedly... “Listen...” I sighed and stepped defiantly towards Celestia, deciding to rely on the most reliable mean of support for ponies. “Everything will be alright. Luna will have taught me, we’ll get rid of your nightmares, and then...” “There's no need, really.” A Princess’ gold-covered shoe bumped into my chest. “I’m alright, really. You are both mistaken if you think that I haven't had nightmares for the last thousand years. I have dealt with them for dozens of years. I will now, and, in my experience, soon enough." Tia took her foot away, making sure I wasn't trying to get any closer, and gave me another smile. Hm... Well, if you will look at it... “Especially since the nightmares aren't the problem I’m worried of the most.” Princess’ ears faded, she sighed. “Luna's... Remoteness bothers me a lot more. “ Don't you say me you threw shit at each other again, ay... “Had a fight?” “No, of course not!” Celestia smiled again. “It's just... She got in all this studying, that..." Alicorn made an indefinite gesture. “Sorry for my acridity at the start, Nightmare. We saw so little of each other...” “Just come by her more frequently.” I shrugged with wings. “I don't remember a single time since my arrival. Even now for some reason we're talking in a hallway instead of going in...” “Alas, but... I’m horrendously short of time nowadays.” Princess sighed, looking away. “And if I go away, it would magically appear...” I mumbled under my breath. “I... Understand your worrying about your sister after all this.” I moved my wing indefinitely. Damn, I still feel as a scumbag... “But I promised you, and I'm not going to change my word: her life is not in danger from my side.” “So you're refusing? Well, yeah, we're not friends to help each other!..” Tia said with a kind of angry bitterness. I was a little taken aback. There was no categorical refusal, but it was enough to make her look like a caged tiger. Her mane and tail danced like flames instead of the usual smooth excitement. Her unkindly squinted eyes were as if searching for the right places to hit me. In addition, she remembered my refusal, which seemed to have hurt her, despite her assurances to the contrary. If I... The Abyss... What could I do? “Princess, I...” Celestia closed her eyes, took a few quick breaths. She shuddered, her perfect face distorted for a moment. “I shouldn't have snapped." She looked faintly, finally lifting her eyelids. “Nightmare, leave my poor sister and leave Canterlot. I beg you.” I rolled my jaw, staring at the floor. What am I supposed to do? Tia really is strong and experienced, and she can imagine what she's dealing with, unlike Luna, who tends to over dramatize the threat. There's no way to check either, because I haven't gotten any practical results yet - the feeling that "about to" doesn't make the weather. It's essentially the word of lying, hysterical Luna versus the word of poised and wise Celestia, who, moreover, I don't want to let down again. Leave? And if I'm wrong - what happens then? Damn it... I can't leave. The... sensation rolling around inside me was somehow unrealistically clear and concrete: the threat was real. It meant that if I leave now, there will be trouble for sure. I sighed quietly through teeth. As a pilot's rule, a decision must be taken quickly and finally, because thinking for a long time in the air battle is a sure road to the grave. You had doubts? Here's a hint. I'm staying. What's next, we'll decide as we go along. “I’m afraid I have to decline it, Princess.” I lifted my head and immediately earned a spiky, relentless gaze. “I've been invited here by Her Highness.” I emphasized the title, which is equal to Tia's. “Princess Luna, and I can leave only when she allows me to. And I... Abyss... Please let me finish my studies, make sure everything is really okay, and I'll move back to my place in Ponyville to cuddle with Rarity and paint pictures.” Alicorn twitched barely visibly. “As you see, we get along with Luna somehow and...” “Be so." Tia interrupted me abruptly. “I'll let you stay, but make no mistake: my trust is not in you, but in my short-sighted sister, who keeps saying the same thing, and whom I do not wish to quarrel again with. But if anything happens to Luna, Nightmare." Tia said, her face almost point-blank. "I'll be very disappointed in you.” “Everything will be fine...” I mumbled, feeling my ears flatten against my head as I felt an underlying, frightening stare. There was no trace of the warm pink eyes, that radiated with a mother's concern in the bottomless purple wells, where the flames danced. “I count on that.” Celestia cut if off abruptly, took a step back and disappeared in a flash of teleportation, leaving me to blink blindly in the middle of the corridor alone. “Goodbye, Princess. I wish you the best...” I said into space, sighing. Nice talk... I’ll have food for thoughts. Abyss, damn it... 51. A Rare AdviceAuthor's Note "A friend won't leave you in trouble, won't ask too much. That's what a true, faithful friend means!" Original author's note. Borrowed from a Soviet animation. 51. A Rare Advice “What else do you need, huh?!..” I paced back and forth, flicking my tail at my sides angrily and keeping my gaze on Luna, who was watching me warily from the bed. Damn it! Abyss!.. Why does this shit always have to be about me?!.. Fucking shit!.. “Sorry, Nightmare. I don't know any other way.” The blue one, the living embodiment of guilt, lowered her gaze. “And I’m not sure we can let ourselves to have another week of fruitless attempts...” “Shut up, would ya?..” I cut it off gloomily, walking around the room nervously. I cursed quietly through my teeth at the impossibility of squeezing my temples with my front hooves right on the move. Goddamn legs! I squeezed as hard as I could with my wings. I don't know why. Hushed Princess furtively watched me warily, not daring to say anything more. After rewarding her with a long look and not finding the right words, I dropped to the floor with a groan and squeezed my temples between my hooves, wishing they had cool metal shoes on them. What for, damn it?.. When I had monthly in a horsy way, I sincerely hoped that all my problems with my studies were due to them. Well, at first I just didn't settle down rightly, and when I roughly did - it had started, so it wasn't working out... But my mind has fallen into place, the obsessive desire to find adventure under my tail was gone, promising to return in a month, and success was still no closer. It was felt that here - hold out your hand! But it was impossible to grasp it! I understood, I could feel what I had to do, but I just could not do it! I couldn't do it! I dispersed all the tutors three days ago, leaving only the especially beloved flying lessons, and stupidly tried to do it. By the known method, I started to fall asleep - try to catch the moment - miss - wake up - repeat. All the results obtained - yesterday's nervous breakdown with a quiet hysteria, several liters of tears and migraine from a screwed-up sleep regime... S-bitch, ah... And then this blue bastard comes in almost hopping and smiling and happily proclaims that she did it! So, instead of continuing to bang your head against the wall, you, Nightmare, can just open my mind and give it, along with the body, to steer, so that your hooves do everything, and you understand yourself - how to repeat that. That’s all!.. Goddamn all this fucking trash! And all the guarantees that they won't dig into my memory, and in my personality - to erase the "unnecessary" and prescribe the "necessary" - is the honest-to-goodness word of Luna, which is fucking stronger than peas, really! Let this fucking Equestria to burn with blue flame!.. And Luna with her nightmares! And Tia... And... Everyone else... “Damn it-it-it!!!..” I can't leave everything like that! I can't leave Tia! She's... I know firsthand how that shit eats away at the brain, and... No, I'm not fucking turning her in to that shit! But how then?.. You can't really guess at what point Sunny's bar will drop and she'll - figuratively - pick up the glaive and go kill the undesirables in the woods. Hell, it could be happening right now! I don't have time to break my teeth over this fucking stone of science, I don't! And, in fact, it wasn't there in the first place! We've been floating on one bare luck from the beginning and hoping that Celestia would last for a while. She did, but sooner or later our white horse would run out, and there'd be a round in the cylinder of the revolver we've been playing so excitedly with for three weeks... There's no way you can drag it out! But the alternative... I glanced over at Luna, who continued to swipe her tail tensely across the bed, biting her lip and giving me nervous and concerned looks. Why is everything always so fucking complicated, ay?!.. “Why should I trust you anyway?! I don't even know if it's really necessary for the very purpose you say it is! Why are you suddenly getting into my head?” “I... I know how that sounds." Luna sighed, uncertainly rubbing her left front leg with her right. “And I should have warned you sooner, but... But I never had the heart. I’m sorry! I was afraid you'd just drop everything and leave. And now, it turns out, I've dumped everything on you completely unexpectedly...” I strolled along the wall, clenching my jaw and rolling my jawbones. I'll have you torn and glued upside down, you gaunt scarecrow! Stupid horse! “Get back to the topic! Guarantees!” “None.” Freezing for a moment, she panted one word and, drooping, continued: “Only my word, that I won't do anything more than needed for the study.” “And what would you count as needed, huh? Memory screening? Cutting from it or swapping out the "unnecessary" pieces? What? “N-never!” Luna's voice shook visibly and shrank her head into her shoulders. “I’m not Sombra!.. And I give you my word that I will only help you to find the right feeling and keep it - and nothing else!” “Once a traitor, always a traitor, blue one." I spit, grimaced, and turned away from the window, where the occasional raindrop tapped softly. What should I do? What?.. Playing Russian roulette, where every few days a round is added to the cylinder - up to six - hoping to make it on your own before it's too late? What could crazy Tia do? She'd kill me, that's for sure... Or do something like what I dreamed of: cut off my horn and wings and walled me up in the dungeons. She’ll be angry for a month, will get me out and apologize... I shivered. I was afraid not only about myself, but about Celestia, too. She would never forgive herself... Would eat herself like Luna and cry into her pillow at nights... I growled and shook the stupid thoughts out of my head. In any case, we do not need this kind of hockey. Here is the only alternative - to trust - completely trust! - traitor, liar, and hypocrite! I threw a glance at Luna, who was thinking intensely about something. I turned away, sighed, and closed my eyes. I’m lying to myself. Abyss. In all the time I've been here, the blue one hasn't given me a single fact of such accusations against herself. I... I just hate her, that's all. I don't care what she is or how she acts or what she does now. And I don't have any faith in her. Damn it. “I need to think." I turned and headed for the exit. “Goodbye, Nightmare." Princess said sadly. “Good day to you.” Fucking bastard. *** How long have I been sitting here without leaving? Damn, in this climate you can't even tell it's September already... Damn... With a sigh I looked over the panorama of palace towers, gardens, and overhanging above the precipice landing sites, the background of which was a distant, distant fields with a thin serpentine stream and downy forest of miniature trees. And if you looked closely, you could see a small train crawling toward the bridge over the river... Damn it... Tearing my gaze away from the scenery, I strolled across the balcony. Sitting around in the night wing of the palace was starting to get on my nerves. But where to go to? I didn't want to get into the day wing, or the public and administrative parts, so as not to cause a stir or make Tia nervous again. The same could be said of the city. I had no time to go anywhere for long and far away, especially in the last week. Learning and improving magic relentlessly, trying to get into the fucking world of dreams, which I could not get my hands on, flying, reading, studying etiquette, history... And, of course, communicating with that damned Luna. Loaded me, damned blue one... Honestly, I tried to shake the “I need to think” phrase out of my head in the same moment the door closed, as well as the other thoughts about the latest conversation, which I then frantically drove away until the evening, instead hitting my head against studying and attempts to get the world of dreams, which always slip away from me. But as soon as I went to bed, my thoughts returned, and sleep, after the whole "fall asleep-wake up-repeat" mess, was completely out. And I could not knock myself out either - it required a certain concentration and attitude, of which there was no trace by this time: I was overworked to the extreme - so I went to bed... I swore like a schoolboy, shook my head furiously, turned on the light and paced the bedroom for probably four hours, all the while involuntarily turning the words of the damned blue horse in my head. I had come to nothing concrete, except stupid anger at Luna, at the situation, at Tia, at myself - at everything! - and at coming hysteria, I was finally exhausted and fell asleep, sleeping like a corpse until after noon. Oh, I wish I was just a dream about all this crap, but... Damn it... I don't want to do anything today. I don't want to do anything at all! I want to go home... With a wistful sigh, I looked over the disgustingly sunny and life-affirming landscape one last time, opened the double-leaf door and stepped off the balcony, hiding from the warm sunlight into the silence-filled, empty and indifferent chill of my temporary shelter. Silence... Wait... Are those voices? I stood still with my foot raised for a step and listened, twisting my ears. There's talking in the living room, that's right. Quietly, I could barely hear the voices themselves, but still... I turned to the door, leading out of the bedroom, crunching my neck, which became swollen from the time I've been thinking on the balcony without any moves. Who was the brave one out there, I wondered? And who suddenly wants something from me so much as to sit on my doorstep chatting with someone in my living room and not even try to come into my own room? So-o-o... “Greetings, Nightmare!” As I took a step out of the bedroom, trying to crunch my neck again, I froze in mid-motion - just my eyes darting frantically to the side where the voice was coming from. It’s... That... When?!.. Rarity glanced at Luna briefly, set the bowl down on the table, and jumped gracefully off the pouf to meet me. “Rar?..” A lump stuck in my throat. Left the store, the orders, her beloved sister for someone, who found a way into the castle... For... “And what... What are you?..” “An opportunity to stop by you appeared, darling.” She did a charming, warm, and so familiar smile. “And I just couldn't refuse it!” For me? For me.. “Rar...” A sob broke through my clenched teeth, my eyes stinging treacherously. I hurriedly grabbed the unicorn with my telekinesis and pulled her to me, wrapping my nose in her mane, smelling of violets and perfume. Just don't disappear... “It's not proper for a well-mannered lady to disappear from a place of such embrace!” She replied at my embrace with a good chuckle. “I missed you too. Happy to see you, Nighty.” I clenched my teeth desperately - and frantically clutched the pony to my chest - feeling the tears trace paths across the fur on my cheeks. I'm... I'm going to burst into tears, ay... She's here. Not for something, but for me. So I won't be lonely here. Missed... Me... B... Bastard... I'm about to... I... ... “Oh, I ruined your hair." I sniffed my nose and wiped the moisture from my eyelashes with my wrist with a guilty smile. “Sorry.” “It's worth it for you to look like a monster sometimes, darling." The unicorn smiled and repeated my gesture, and gave me the look of her sapphire eyes, framed by her long, fluffy lashes and glistening with tears. “Is everything that bad?” “Just like me after another training session with a swim in the lake.” “O-oh!.. Nighty, you're kidding, aren't you?..” Eyes of my friend were filled with panic, behind which carefully hid laughter. “It's awful! I’m in the castle! What if I meet His Grace Prince Blueblood? Or... Or Her Highness Princess Celestia herself?!..” “I can smooth it out with my hoof, spitting on it to be sure." I suggested. “It works for me.” “W... What?!.. Don't you even think of that, Nightmare!.. It’s monstrous!.. Did you really?!.. Oh, Celestia!..” The securely held fashionista tried to recoil back. The panic in her eyes was now real. “I'm getting the hang of it now, so it's pretty neat..." I couldn't hold it, so I feigned perplexity on my face. “You're kidding!..” The unhappy mare whined, making her brows like a house. “Nightmare!.. You can't be as sloppy as Applejack! I... Well, I understand that she can be forgiven for a little sloppiness in some situations, but you live in a palace, not a farm!” I was poked accusingly in the chest with a masterfully trimmed and varnished hoof. “And you, as a decent lady, simply should not allow yourself to walk like that!” “It’s okay...” The unicorn's pressure was a bit unnerving. “And anyway, we were talking about your hair, so...” “So!” The milliner stomped her hoof on the carpet and slipped out of my embrace with a stern look, foreshadowing the verdict: “Where’s the spa here?” Jokes have ended, I guess... ... M-m... The touches to the right wing, whose feathers were sensitively and carefully put in order by professional movements of the spa pony, were, surprisingly, even pleasant, though usually other people's hooves on their wings were somehow unnerving. Maybe because I was worked on by a pony with wings as well, who had a good idea what and how - I don't know. I could hardly stop myself from twitching my leg at the unexpected tickle: the second one was working on my hind left hoof. “I’m sorry, mistress.” “It’s okay.” I suppressed the urge to wave it off: immobility was desirable for the procedure. The entire body, where the fur was present, was covered with a thick cream mask, giving a feeling of pleasant heat. Another dozen or dozen and a half minutes more - the girls will have ended their job with wings and hooves - and it can be erased, as they said. I sighed, relaxing on the couch. Ni-i-ice... What great masters Tia has found for herself, ay... Yes, the team that was working on me and Rar was a guest team, from the sun wing of the palace - Luna didn't have her own specialists, except for the usual fetch-and-clean maids and kitchen staff. A couple of hairdressers and stylists were there to fix her mane and tail, but they were thestrals, so I preferred to manage my hair on my own, until the case became very messy... Yes, it makes me nervous, damn it, when the Luna's mice wield barber scissors, sharp as a stiletto, in the uncomfortable proximity of my neck! I had to organize all this, of course, but under my friend's heavy stare, I was able to find and call, and I didn't get any questions in return. My own title and the status, that Luna has given me, were more than weighty arguments. The title, yeah... Damn it, who asked you, dumbass?.. The massage was given to us by a stallion, a bit of a narcissistic type with a funny two-color white-red mane, arranged in a fashionable hairdo, and with heterochromia - the left eye is blue, the right one is green. Rar was flirting with him with all her heart, and he was responding willingly, though not crossing the line, while I was watching and commenting, which the pony ignored where he could, obviously afraid of me... We had a good time, all in all. And then this miracle, having ended with Rarity, came up to me with apprehension and asked if Her Grace is ready?.. I was ready to kick that parrot right to the pool, when I saw eyes of my friend, which began to widen in silent shock... He rat me out in such a way - and rat me out to such a person! To Rarity, who had a great admiration for nobility, titles, and authority in some areas! Rarity was eloquently silent when I was getting massage. As a matter of fact, she is still a little... She was in such an awe, that she couldn't even breathe steadily. “Lady Nightmare, we’ve done it. And you can erase the mask. Let me rub your eyelids...” A sponge went across my face and closed eyes. “Here, now you can open your eyes.” “Thanks.” I squinted briefly until my long-closed eyes got used to the light, and reluctantly scraped myself off the couch. Damn, I don't want to get up, ay... Rarity started to stand up in the same way. “Should I help you to take a bath?” The eldest earthpony in the group asked, whom I mentally nicknamed "Zabava" because of her white and pink coloring, in honor of the ice cream - she was very much in color - when I approached my friend. “I don't think so. We’ll manage ourselves.” I answered, briefly exchanging glances with Rar. “I see." “Zabava” nodded, her face a little bit red, for some reason. “Then call us when you're ready - we'll brush your teeth, apply polish, and do your hair and makeup.” After bowing briefly to me, the spa pony crew left the room in what seemed to me to be a bit of a hurry, leaving me and Rarity alone. The best environment to talk. “Let’s go?” I nodded towards something like either a big hot tub or a small pool. “And, Rar... If you call me “Grace” or make a bow - I’ll be offended.” “As you wish, lady Nightmare.” She answered with a stone expression. “I hope you're joking?” “Of course, darling.” The unicorn sighed, giving me a bit indignant gaze. “You could have told about it, Your Grace.” I rolled my eyes sorrowfully. Having washed off the vanilla-colored gel that has already begun to thicken, under an artificial waterfall - and shivering from the cold after getting rid of this mass that worked as a thermos - I hurriedly climbed into the warm water. Rar, alien to the sense of beauty, did not wait for the release of the warm waterfall and washed the mask in the old way - with a shower. Or she was just warming herself under it - I don't know... Diving for a few seconds - to chase away the cold from my head - I tried to get to the edge in the usual "hands on the edge" position, but quickly gave up the idea and sat down like a pony, leaving only my head sticking out above the water - it was cold, damn it! I’m freezing after all this stuff... I fought and fought back, but I couldn't stop Rarity, so after surrendering - do what you want - I relaxed and tried to enjoy myself. Well, at least my fur will be soft and silky now... I stroked my chest thoughtfully with my wrist. Well... Underwater is the usual. Although the ponies are really cool and plush to the touch. It's even cool to pet myself, and when it comes to Rar, for example... I sighed, dipping my head under the water again. I snorted, wiping my mane off to the side. The last time I cried like that was probably when I was a kid, when I accidentally broke my favorite mug... Although, lately it's not uncommon for me to do that at all. I could have been ashamed of myself, crying is not the right thing to do for an elder... But I was not ashamed of it at all. Even tough grown-ups, who face death every day, cry. Not from pain or fear, of course, but from joy and relief, from the understanding that they were not abandoned and they are needed and important to someone... And the further I got, the more I caught myself in the fact that I was scared of being alone. Not literally, that alone in a room, there, but in general. That everyone who is important to me would turn their back on me and leave. And the rebuttal to this, that it’s a no - I’m not forgotten, not abandoned - it was not even a stone from my soul - it was ... I do not know even. And what will I do with my immortality when my friends start to leave?.. I'll get over it somehow. I've lost before, all at once. When I left myself... I dove in again. No more thinking. I admired the mane, floating in the clear water, and ducked out. Rar was still splashing under the shower. What is she doing in there? She's washing her hair - sure as hell. I should do that, too, by the way. I got to the edge and sat down in the familiar position, with my forelegs on it. Damn, it’s still cold! Okay, I’ll be patient - I’m tired of only one pose, I want to change it... I relaxed - as much as I could, because I wanted to shiver from the cold - and looked around at the local splendor, designed for self-care. There was everything here for spa treatments: a bathhouse, a steam bath, looks like a hammam, and a swimming pool with a beautiful artificial waterfall cascading down into it... They were not stingy with waterfalls - they were small decorative ones, and one flowed into the pool, and there, into the bathroom... I moved to the wall and stuck my head under the stream of warm water. M-m, nice-e... After a bit of lying around, I went back out again. There were also a couple of waterfalls just so I could get under them - one is warm and the second one is cold. The second one would be a fire after the steam bath... Of course, there was a shower. There were tiles on the floor, but serious ones, like a meter across, I guess. And the design is also cool - with an underwater theme: blue and light blue colors, the decor of shells, corals, and colored pebbles, "wavy" glass on the windows, creating the illusion of sunlight, penetrating through the water ... Great. “N-nighty! Is water there w-warm?” Rarity, finally having done with the shower, peeked out from under it and asked in a slightly shaky voice “Yeah. Get in, enough of this shower!” I waved my front leg invitingly. The unicorn, head pressed into her shoulders, hurried across the tile and into the bowl beside me. She ducked and emerged, finding a step for a shorter than alicorn pony, and sat down, just as I had a little earlier, leaving only her head above the surface. She tried - unsuccessfully - to blow away the wet strands of mane sticking to her forehead, and twitched her ear in frustration. She smiled a little shyly when I lit the horn and moved it with magic. “Been washing head?” “Yes. And you should follow suit!” “Where'd I go?” “Who knows, Your Grace...” “Listen, don't sulk, ay? I became aware of this like right now.” “Sorry, Nighty. It’s... Just surprising a bit. You and I communicate in such a way, that sometimes I don't think of you as an alicorn and Nightmare Moon at all." The unicorn sighed. “And don't you dare to, Ice Cream.” I smiled at the friend’s a bit indignant gaze. “I think it should be even forbidden in every case And if I didn't tell you before, it was only for fear of losing that very casualness. So, no “Graces”, okay? Please.” “Only when joking.” Rar smiled and, being silent for a while, suddenly giggled, covering her mouth with a hoof. “You've been looking at the aristocracy as if looking at some tastelessness, and now you have a title yourself!..” “Yeah, I liked this turn as well.” I hummed. “But by the modern laws, having wings and a horn simultaneously is punished by a title. I thought, that you may know about it - I won't believe in you starting a business and not examining the laws.” “I did, of course, but not everything - only about my field of work.” The unicorn shook her head and seemed to try to pull her head back into her shoulders. “Get under the waterfall.” I nodded at the stream of water for the freezing friend. “It's warm and cool.” ... “...I won't put on!” “You have worn this, and you liked it a lot - what has changed, Nightmare?” “You needed help back in the day.” I grumbled under my breath, looking askew at the dress, accurately put on the bed. The third, from that show, was my... no, not my "favorite," of course, but... Well, "most impressive," that is. I reflexively remembered how the fabric was tight around my body, how my footsteps rumbled on the stage, how the crowd roared with delight, literally bathing me in admiration and glee... I hurriedly yanked my foot away, finding, that I was carefully, almost lovingly smoothing out the folds on the silky expensive fabric with my hoof. My cheeks were treacherously warm. “And now you have to have a good time, relax and get pleasured.” “And how it would help me?” I tried to nod towards the apple of our discord with a chuckle. It was... Not convincing. “I think, that someone, darling, is trying to deny the obvious.” Rarity chuckled, arching a brow. “I'm sorry, but even the most rustic redneck could see how much you enjoyed the stares and the attention, that were tied to you. And if we're going to walk through the palace, your dress will be perfect for that; believe me, Nighty, no unassuming guard and no unsophisticated maid will be left untouched! And Prince himself will be all the more impressed and enchanted! His Grace must be an exquisite connoisseur and a great expert on beauty!” The unicorn put her wrist to her forehead demonstratively. “And I'm even willing to sacrifice some of his attention to you, so I don't have to shine alone!..” I sighed. Clung to me like hell, damn! Rar, damn it, you have to know when enough is enough! I already went to the spa, in many ways - for you! It's not that I didn't like it myself at all, but... No, it was not for me anyway! And Ice Cream, in addition to the weekend outfit to the palace for herself, brought those dresses, that she sewed for the show on me as well - "my" somehow does not sound like an eligible word, damn it - all eight! And now she was trying hard to dress me up, damned one, pressing on the "sore" - on other people's admiration, which I happened to help her myself about half an hour ago... I managed to blurt out - in response to an unobtrusive question about Blueblood - that I know him, and we even communicated a little... Prince came to Luna the other day, so he stopped by to pay his respects to the noble, damn me, lady as well. I nodded in response and hoped to part on that, but Prince, as it turned out, brought a gift "for acquaintance": an ultra-modern technological innovation - a fountain pen! A solid one, of representation class, in a solid metal case, with gilding... The ink inside, however, has not been invented yet... Or it have never been in fountain pens?.. A-a, I don't have a clue... But I asked about it, Prince became excited with the idea and somehow, word by word, we started to talk, chatting about all sorts of technology and science more than an hour, and parted satisfied with each other and with an invitation from this fan of progress and technology to give me a tour of the palace museum. Well, anyway - I said without a backward glance that I know Blusy, for which I was immediately attacked by the look of the cat from Shrek and tactful probing to introduce him. I tried to refuse unobtrusively at first, but, unable to find a strong enough argument, I quickly deflated and just suggested that we go to the museum together in the Prince's company. This is where Rarity’s eyes began to burn... Going! Between ponies! Across the castle! To Prince! Like that?! “The first communication with His Grace was when we were sitting on the floor in the corridor, disheveled and dazed." I muttered. “Nothing bad happened to his sense of beauty after that...” My voice gradually died down under the gaze of my friend, which made it crystal clear, that I had said something wrong. “Nightma-a-are!” Rar managed to stand on her haunches and grab her head with her front legs for a few moments. “It’s awful!!! You!.. You have hopelessly ruined your first impression of yourself! His Grace, as a true gentlecolt and simply a well-bred stallion, of course, said nothing to you, but!.. But!.. How could you-u?!” The unicorn moaned, putting a hoof on her face helplessly. “I... I’m...” I mumbled, struggling to straighten my ears, which have reflexively folded under my friend's frantic pressure, trying to pull my thoughts together. “Calm down, Rarity...” The unicorn panted. “It’s still possible to fix everything!” I swallowed involuntarily, meeting the gaze of her dangerously narrowed pupils. “Put on! Immediately!” “Rar, what are you...” “Or I will go to Her Highness Princess Luna and fall at her feet and beg her tearfully to forbid the guards to let you out of your chambers without a dress!” Stepping to me dangerously, the mare stomped her hoof on the carpet, glaring at me with a kind of manic stare. Reflexively, I retreated a few steps and froze, thinking feverishly. The threat wasn't that insignificant. Rarity's ability to burst into tears and affect Luna was something I believed in. And if Luna tell the thestrals to do something, they will do it despite getting mowed down. And if I go off on Luna for it - it'd be a very hard time to make peace with Rarity, if she gets the wind of it... “I’m sorry if I overreacted, Nighty.” The unicorn hit the breaks a bit. “If you want - we can show ourselves to Her Highness Princess Luna. I’m sure she'd like your beauty... And would get jealous. Especially if she sees how others are looking at me!” “It was a forbidden method!” I became indignant at the friend's smile, shaking my head. “Abyss with all of you. Gimme the dress...” “Your dress.” This... This snake emphasized it with her voice. “Mine is waiting in the baggage. And... I’m happy, that you agreed.” I burned her silently with my gaze, and reluctantly lit my horn. The satin fabric slid down my fur in a pleasantly cool wave, a slight tightness settling on my back, a light tickle rolled down my hind legs because of the hem... “Wa-ait... Here. “It’s ready!” Rarity proclaimed as she finished her ritual dance of smoothing out the folds and blowing away the dust around me. “The hair, unfortunately, does not match perfectly, but otherwise ... I like it." The milliner smiled. “And your hooves look even more wonderful with it.” I, curving my fore leg, stared at the beauty, that stylists put on me once more. I was not at all inspired by the idea of painting the hooves, but I wanted them to finish everything quickly, and I was too bored to argue, so I just asked them to do something discreet, if they were going to do it. As a result, my "fingernails" were now covered with a transparent varnish with small glitter, which shimmered on a black background like a miniature night sky in the light. And, honestly - I couldn't say that I didn't like the result, even though I was wary of the night sky and had some unpleasant associations with it. After turning my head and noting that there was no mirror in the living room, I moved towards the bedroom. I still wanted to see the result... Rar followed me. Yeah... The dress, made just for me, with the colors carefully matched to me, looked like I was going to put everyone in awe. And the hooves were really on point... Beautiful, damn! And if with the unfolded wings - head’s spinning!.. “You're a wonderful pony, darling.” I turned around at the slightly mocking voice of my friend, who, after putting aside the paper airplane I have not had time to straighten and clean up, came towards me. “It amazes me how fiercely you are sometimes ready to fight what you like.” “Or maybe it's just a healthy abstinence from temptation?” I mumbled. What do you understand!.. “Healthy abstinence from temptation”, Nighty - it's when you don't eat after six in the evening! As you may noticed, I’m very uncontrolled...” Rar stated with a sigh. “And being beautiful is not a temptation! It’s a duty! Well, if you're not doing hard physical labor on a farm in the hot Sun... But even that's no reason to walk around like that all the time! Besides, you like to shine and attract attention yourself.” Yes, but... Damn, Rar! Fucking hell with you! “And you... Nighty, there was so few of happy moments in your life.” Drooping, the unicorn touched the carpet uncertainly. “And you definitively deserve at least some happiness and joy. If being beautiful and shining are what make you happy, then do not refuse, please.” Damn you, ay!.. “Sorry if I’m poking my nose into not my affairs, Nightmare.” Rar smiled palely, lifting her head. “I just want you to be happy. And it looks like we have to go out soon if we don't want to be late for the meeting, and I'm not dressed yet! Would you help me?” I nodded silently and followed my friend's hurried pace. Damn you... ... The fabric slid against my fur, making me wince for a moment. I arched my wings slightly, letting Rar gently pull the dress off me. The visit was... interesting. On our way out of the night wing, we were unobtrusively approached by an escort of a couple of thestrals. At first these blockheads tried to shoo Rar away from me, but a wing hug and an eloquent look convinced the idiots of their wrongness. I'll tell Luna about their behavior, and I'll make sure they get a kick under their asses! Damned morons... In any case, the walk through the palace was quite inspiring. Nobody dropped their jaws for the sake of decorum and did not applause, but those looks!.. A mixture of fear and admiration, when the next pony comes to a standstill, unable to decide whether to run or admire!.. I did not notice how my initially frowning face broke into a wide smile, and my posture and walk became like that time on the podium... The only thing that spoiled the mood a little was that I got out of my temporary lair "into the ponies", into the main part of the palace. I didn't want to remind Tia of my existence, damn it! And now there would probably be a lot of chatter about me that wouldn't get past her... Alas, when I remembered that, it was too late to change anything, anyway. Prince met us at the museum's entrance. He didn't pay much attention to Rar, though, as he seemed to lose all his initial polite interest once he found out she wasn't a noble. So he took no further attempts to talk or flirt with her, and took her compliments for granted. In the end, the very impressive exhibit in general and one of the newest models of the steam engine in particular received far more attention from the two of us than the obviously somewhat disappointed unicorn. I noticed this and tried to be a little supportive, casually mentioning that the dress, which had impressed Prince, was her work, but it didn't seem to change anything in his eyes. In any case, Blueblood had a good tongue, a competent speech, and a burning passion for the subject at hand, so I enjoyed my visit to the museum as a whole. But the fact, that Rarity was clearly not particularly interested, and that Prince, for whom she had come, was looking at her like a piece of furniture, was a little uncomfortable and awkward. After the museum, I hesitated and accepted Blueblood's offer to dine - and, honestly, it was hard to tell if that was a good thing or a bad thing... Apart from the fact that I had to use all my little knowledge of etiquette to avoid screwing up - I don't know why, but in front of Rar, a screwup in such a case seemed like a disaster-Blueblood, who had made an exclusively positive impression before, showed himself like in the canon: the unicorn looked at the servants, the guards, and most importantly, Rarity, like mold, and behaved accordingly, as if in all seriousness he did not consider anyone who did not have at least a title to be his equal. The aristocratic snob to the core... After the unicorn's attack on one of the servants, who allegedly did something wrong, I completely disliked his company. I'm not without sin myself, but... Shit... Prince, you can look at anyone like a pile of shit, but quietly and in thought! And not at Rar in any case, because this is where the chance of backfire is the most for you! At this point, my friend and I had to bow out as quickly as propriety would allow. We went back in unpleasant silence, occasionally diluted with one-word phrases. It had all started so well, ay... The mood was lightened by the need to meet with Luna, to coordinate the small dining room with her - Prince has tried, but he could not spoil our appetite, and we didn't eat at all... It was worth it to look in the eyes of the blue one, watching me with admiration and a little envy. You could have become like this, Luna - with my help! And now you're nobody, and they do not pay you a tenth of the attention that is directed to me, although it was you who craved it so much!.. I only realized I'd gotten carried away when Luna and Rarity began discussing the possibility of ordering. Damn horse! You don't deserve it! In the end, I left Luna in a sagging mood and an increased desire to eat something, unlike Rar, who was clearly inspired by the idea of a new order, and at such a high level, too. She even tried to reassure me, that Her Highness has been modest, ordering about the same thing what I'm wearing, and not even now - only when they'd time to take the measurements, but it's not much of a reassurance. Catching myself thinking that I definitely needed a new dress, one that Luna wouldn't have, I shook my head in an effort to shake it off and preferred to curl my thoughts and recent memories back to reality. Oh, man, that's exactly the kind of idea I needed, yeah... I glanced thoughtfully at Rar, who, during my stupor, had freed me from the captivity of beauty and was now placing the removed dress on the ponikin, pedantically smoothing out the slightest creases. There was a special run for them, by the way: the idea of simply putting the dresses somewhere or hanging them in a closet had driven the milliner into superstitious terror. So now she was carefully decorating the ponikin with the dress in my bedroom, and an army of seven other ponikins beauties occupied half the living room outside the door... Though I think I have a dressing room here - I don't remember exactly... If I do - I'll put them all there later. “Will you stay until tomorrow?” I finally decided to break the silence, though already guessing the answer. “Alas, Nighty.” The unicorn shook her head sadly and confirmed my unhappy expectations as she straightened another crease she could see and turned around. “I'd very like to, but there’s no way to stay until tomorrow. I'm leaving tonight. I'm so sorry. I'd really like to stay...” “It’s fine. You just... Well, just stop by if an occasion appears. Thanks for coming and...” I hesitated and stared at my own hooves, dimly sparkling with little stars. “Thanks in general. Honestly - you saved me. I don't know how much longer I would have lasted like that...” “Would you tell me?” Rarity looked in my eyes, coming closer quietly. “If I can't help, I can at least listen to you...” “There’s nothing to tell, really...” I waved away and cringed, sitting down on the floor. “Sometimes i just want to die from loneliness and boredom... I’m sitting here alone, there’s no one to talk to. To just chat, you know? Not about the study, or another study, or a third study and not about some problems, but just like that, about everything and nothing! Like with Blueblood. But I don't want to talk with him anymore...” “Yes...” Rarity drooped. “I didn't expect him to be so... arrogant and impudent! What a disgusting way he scolded that old butler! In front of everyone!.. Good ponies don't do that!” “Agree. But the good ones... Well, you're here now. If you leave, there won't be any.” "You are flattering me, darling." The unicorn became embarrassed. “And you're blatantly neglecting the others!” “If only... You've seen the night guards and the thestrals. They act like there’s nothing but enemies and saboteurs around. Cool war dogs, yeah... I can't chat with the teachers. You've seen Bluesy.” The mare couldn't hold a chuckle, hearing such a term. “And you had the opportunity to check him. By the way, how are you after... This?” I looked at my friend with sympathy, making an indefinite gesture. She was literally dreaming of meeting him... “Absolutely and completely disappointed.” Rarity sighed. “I thought he was supposed to be a role model, and... I don't know what I expected. Not that." She frowned irritably, digging her hoof into the floor. “Well, don't worry about it, darling. I just need to... think for a while. Not right now, of course. And by the way, you didn't mention Her Highness Princess Luna on your list.” “Did I have to?” I sniffed. “As the saying goes, 'ponies are divided into good, bad, and Luna,' so let her fall down the hill. And that's pretty much it.” I said with a sigh. “I want to go home, and you don't know how much.” “Nighty.” Rar looked at me with a reproach. “Sorry for this unpopular opinion for you, but Her Highness Princess Luna certainly did not make a negative impression on me. She was very nice, and, by the way, very enthusiastically supported my request to come and provided it as quickly and to the highest standard as possible!” “Now she'll get out of her skin to... Anyway... How did you get here in the first place? And why?” I tried to change the subject, but judging by the sharp stare, my words were noticed and remembered. Damn it. “I missed you.” Unicorn lowered her gaze with a smile. “Pinkie and Sweetie did really want to see you as well. And Scootaloo as well. But... With so ill-timed schedule, Pinkie had gone to visit her family at the stone farm, and taking our sweetie pair into the castle - Apple Bloom would have asked to get along as well... No. I'm afraid the scale of the disaster of their stay in the palace might be overwhelming to Equestria." Rar chuckled and shook her head. “I haven't had the heart to do so. But, of course, all of them - as well as Fluttershy, Applejack, Bulk, Aloe, Lotus, and many others send you a huge friendly greeting and wish you all the best. And a big, big hug!” The unicorn giggled and gently wrapped her legs around my neck, resting her head on my shoulder. I wrapped my wings around her in return with pleasure, feeling the perfect and glorious softness of her and my own fur, and the warmth of my friend's words. “Someone even had time to write to you to give it to me. Remind me if I forget to give you the letters, okay?” “Even so? I’ll surely do!” I smiled. “And by the way, Nightmare, greetings and apologizes were sent by the one you wouldn't believe! Twilight!” “Twi?” “I wouldn't believe it, really... “What happened to her?” “Some letter from Princess Cadence, as I understood it from her story. After that, Twilight took it upon herself to reread all of Her Highness Princess Celestia's letters and compile statistics to analyze them - and found some oddities and discrepancies... I'm not sure exactly; Twilight didn't really want to talk about it and tried to switch to me and Applejack rather than ruin our first slumber party together, but she did whisper to me to tell you her sincere regret for her inappropriate behavior in a letter or in a meeting.” I wonder if... if the nerd had known Tia intimately for a long time, would she have noticed, at Cadence's suggestion and with some hints, the change in her beloved mentor's behavior? In fact, I had, even though I've known Princess for a much shorter period of time. To be honest, Tia, from that conversation we had, was frankly frightening. She seems to be the same, she seems to be trying to keep up the mark, so to speak - and still every now and then something slips through, something not good and, most importantly - uncharacteristic... I heard one of the servants from across the palace gossip, that she held a military review recently. For the first time in this generation... And Luna and Cadence were complaining about Celestia's increased paranoia. That’s because I thought of a Russian roulette analogy with a revolver that was constantly being reloaded - the future is not so bright. “...?” Rarity tried to wriggle out of my stiffened embrace. “Yeah...” I let the unicorn thoughtlessly and shivered, coming back to my senses. “What, sorry?..” “Is everything okay, Nighty?” She repeated her question with unrest in her eyes. I stared at the floor gloomily. A-a, abyss... Let this thing go in hell, ay... “Do you want an honest answer? Why the fuck should be everything good here?.. Things are bad to the point of astonishment...” I waved away wistfully. “Damn it. I have no bloody idea what I'm supposed to do - and that's with every kicking minute working against us! Tia is holding on, but she won't last long - this, let Luna pull me on her horn, is clear from half a glance!” Rarity gave me a look of fierce reproach and blushed. “I haven't even been able to get into the dream world yet, and she might go ripper tomorrow! Or even already, right now! Well, Luna was able to get in, but claims she doesn't have the strength for much. And you know what solution she's proposing?” I poked my hoof towards my friend. “Give her the chance to get into my head! Nice one, yeah? And, like, show me everything and let me feel it, so that, then, I could do it myself!” I looked around for something to drink. “To my uninitiated eye, it doesn't seem like such a disgusting idea... What do you dislike about it so much?” I whipped my tail irritably, finding that both the decanter on the bedside table and the glass, forgotten on the window sill, were sadly empty, I cringed irritably, twitched my ear, and turned my gaze to my stupid friend. "What do you think? I have no idea what she'll do in my head! Luna's a great storyteller: “I won't do anything bad, I will do only good, I’m not Sombra!”.. Damn her!.. I've lost myself before, and..." I waved hopelessly into space, and, looking around dejectedly, wandered to the bed, where I collapsed with my feet tucked under me and my face on the bedspread. I don't know what to do... “Nighty...” Rar, with a sigh, walked over and, dropping to the floor, rested her head on the edge of the bed across from mine, eye to eye. We fell silent. I don't know what my friend was thinking - I was just admiring her sapphire eyes, framed by the long, beautiful lashes, that were now so close. Her breath even slightly disturbed the short fur on the tip of my nose... “You have read Luna's letters.” Rarity stated, lifting her head. I reflexively tried to feign a nod, but when it didn't work - just blinked. “You spared her life then, and now you've been living side by side with her for about a month. Hasn't your attitude towards her improved at all, and hasn't the least bit of trust developed? You don't have to answer me, Nightmare." The unicorn shook her head as much as she could when I parted my lips. “Answer to yourself. Weigh it, think about it, and answer, answer honestly.” Rar, slowing, got up, looking at me from top down. “And then you would be able to make your own decision.” “You understand so much, yeah!..” I twitched with my wings indignantly, getting up. “How come?” “Because I talk to you a lot, and I've talked to Luna, and I've seen you talk to each other, albeit just a bit. And... I won't tell you anything else, Nighty. I'm sorry. I’m afraid you won't accept my arguments, so accept your own. Just... be honest with yourself. Okay?” The uncomfortable silence was broken by the ringing of the bell - they came. The servants, it seems: to report that our under-dinner and over-supper is ready... There was no appetite at all. "Be honest with yourself," you say?.. Maybe I don't want to?... 52. DaydreamsAuthor's Note "Did you wait for it? It's begun! From words to deeds!" Original author's note. 52. Daydreams “And what is this place?” I glanced around the spacious windowless circular room. It, contrary to usual practice, was illuminated not by the usual magic stones, but by oil lamps. Though, apart from them, a large, head-sized, elaborately cut blue crystal under the ceiling, enclosed in a crafty metal frame, helped to fight the darkness with its dim light. It hung from imposing chains and, I bet, exactly in the middle of the room. It was above the center of the pattern on the floor, which was a smooth monolithic stone, as if melted to a liquid state and then frozen again. The strict austerity of the place was broken only by two bunks with cushions, standing at a short distance from each other. The thick, almost safe door closed behind me with an imposing sound, and, with a short clatter of hooves, Luna came to a halt beside me. Strangely enough, there was almost no echo in the empty stone room of considerable height and area. It was like a fly in the mud, creating an unreal sensation. “This is a spell rest, Nightmare. A place for complicated rituals or energy-consuming magical experiments." The alicorn presented softly. “Impressive, isn't it?” I nodded reflexively, busy looking around the room. “At our time, my sister and I could only dream of such a wonderful instrument. Modern magical science has come a long way..." Princess shared her impression with a carefully concealed enthusiasm in her voice. I wish I knew better about magic!.. The hall was literally buzzing with it. The crystal glowed so that even in the visible physical spectrum it phoned with light like a reactor with its Cherenkov radiation*. Radioactive particles move at the speed of light, which exceeds the speed of light propagation in water, which causes a characteristic glow. There were wires of some energy channels in the walls - it is clear now, why oil lamps are hanging here: crystals would burn to the heck or would give some parasitic magic... “I'm already preparing a ritual that will help us with Tia's nightmare.” The blue one brought me out of my admiring contemplation with a nod at the unfinished drawing on the floor. As I looked more closely, I even seemed to notice a certain pattern and that the bunks were where they stood for a reason. "Come in and lie down, please." Luna nodded towards one of them as she headed toward the other. "And why are we here all of a sudden?..” I made an indefinite gesture as I settled on my bed, noting at the same time that Luna's mane had occasional glitter, fluttering and floating lightly in the air. I looked down and found the same thing with my tail. So, yes, there was an attempt to approximate the conditions of the Moon by artificially creating an increased saturation of the magical field... “I thought you should get used to the surroundings in advance." The alicorn was a little embarrassed. Well, may be... “Let’s go?” I settled comfortably on my side, assuming my usual fast-asleep pose. “Let’s go. Am I forming a search link?” “No, I’m. I want some training.” “Okay, Nightmare. Then I’m falling asleep. We’ll meet in the world of dreams.” “Where would we go...” I mumbled, looking at the mare's deep and steady panting with a thoughtful frown. Rar, may your sister dream of a cook's cutie mark and feed you for the rest of your life! You're the reason I'm here now! You're the reason I let Luna in my head! I gnawed my hooves up to my knees. All night until morning I wrote out various events from life and memories in my faithful notebook, until I fell asleep right on the table. Later, after cursing myself out loud in the empty bedroom, I went to the blue one to the slaughter - and return from it in one piece and, it seems, even unharmed... I was so scared, though, of course, memory is memory, and what mental bookmarks I could never find... I was so scared then... I'm still scared now. What has she done to me that I can't see? How much of my mind even belongs to me? How much of it is mine at all? I sighed. Or maybe Rar was right, and I was making up problems and making enemies out of nothing?.. Abyss. On the other hand, Luna, no matter how she took advantage of my consent, did what she promised. She guided me into the dream world with her intervention, which, as she had promised, really helped me capture the right sensations. A very unusual ones: sleep and don't simultaneously... I sighed and rolled onto my side and covered myself with my wing. Luna... The damned blue horse has pedantically followed through on the promises she made to me, stoically tolerated any outbursts, and... Damn it, Rarity! To be honest with myself about Luna, to acknowledge her merits and not have to come up with a second bottom to her words and actions, was almost physically painful. The only thing worse was being aware of my own hypocrisy... But how much more could I lie to myself? One would think I didn't realize that I was wrong sometimes - just chased those thoughts away. And Rar had indirectly and as gently as possible pointed that out to me, and... it hurt. With an annoyed snort, I turned around again, trying to get into a more comfortable position. I glanced at the next bunk, and Luna was snoozing peacefully in her bed, only the white neon glow of the grooves on her horn told me she wasn't sleeping normally. Waiting for me there, by the way... I sighed and lit the horn, forming a search link to find my hated partner in the dream world. A thin, bright white tourniquet shot out at her and quickly melted into the air, revealing that I have succeeded. Now we sleep... “Was it hard to fall asleep?” Luna met me on “the other side” after a dozen of minutes after a short seeking. “Kind of.” I muttered and hurriedly turned to the doors that hovered here and there in this unreal place. They led to other people's dreams. The blue one has managed to tighten her usual visualization during my absence, changing the malleable space with her will. This place is like this: without creating in it some habitual systems of coordinates to themselves it is simply impossible to be here - you'll twist your brain on this N-dimensional stuff... But Luna was aghast at my visualization, unconsciously created as a gigantic circuit board with capacitor buildings and other elements of all shapes and sizes soldered on it. And a radiator tower, lost in the height, on which a fan the size of Ponyville block was spinning, filling the surroundings with a measured hum and rustle. A series of contact tracks loomed between all this splendor along with a variety of monitors. They had pictures of other people's dreams on them, were sticking out at random, in clusters or singly, causing a slight dissonance. And somewhere far above the darkness was cut by the lights of LED strips and other lights, in the light of which the dust danced... After admiring this technocrat's delight, Luna pitifully asked to give her visual support. She quickly turned the technical splendor into a bleak endless night sky everywhere, with bleak doors and bleak cloudy paths between them hanging in the air. It looked pretty much the same now, except that Luna has replaced the night sky with the stars to a sunset, apparently noticing my slightly nervous reaction. Where was that sunset heading, considering that I was watching it even directly below us... Well, there was no need to think about that. “What are we gonna do?” “Practice. Find some bad dream, figure out a nightmare, figure out a way to deal with it. But I won't be around this time, like you asked. Take care of yourself and match your strength, Nightmare. During all the years that the skill of dream-walking has spent in oblivion, nightmares have increased considerably and have become quite dangerous, even for you with your talent. “Yeah, I remember.” I nodded, mentally shrugging off the tired warning. Blue one, the only thing you can do is promising! And meanwhile, in the previous four dives we have not met anyone, figuratively, more dangerous than a mosquito! Stupid parasites, when they realized that they are spotted, often simply fell into a stupor from such an unexpected turn. And after that, to the disapproval of Luna, were simply and trivially exterminated on the spot. My partner insisted that I couldn't kill them all, and that I had to help the ponies cope with them, strengthening my equilibrium and thus becoming immune to the efforts of nightmares... Except, it was not a quick process to persuade the ponies, who were sometimes more afraid of me than of their nightmares, and it didn't take more than a minute for them to just swat the creepy thing. And then the fact that another one might stick to them... Oh, whatever. I shook my head and clattered my hooves on the cloud path. I liked the sound, so there it was. For some reason I was wearing the armor, like in the good old days. Did you miss it?.. With a quiet hum, I adjusted my usual bags and slowed my pace, looking at the doors on either side of me. The doors were different, and often characterized the dreamer in one way or another. It was hard to grasp and comprehend a specific pattern - it just... felt. Soon one caught my eye, and I paused, gazing at this entrance to someone's dream, in which a nightmare was eating away at the owner little by little. The door itself evoked a sense of neglect: old, cracked wood, a handle with traces of rust... After a moment, I pulled it towards me, opening it with the expected creak and rattle, while feeling myself literally sucked into the white mud behind it. A moment later I was standing in an abandoned warehouse. Stacks of crates, dust hanging thickly in the air, cobwebs in the corners, half-darkness barely dispersed by the Moon and the stars, whose light filtered in through holes in the cracked walls and ceiling. Behind a stack someone was crying softly, as if afraid to make any more noise. “Read horrors and then whine about fear...” I mumbled under my breath: the entourage is too similar. I sighed and headed resolutely towards the sound. We'll find this cre-e-epy stalker in this warehouse, process it into mincemeat, and let the pony go back to sleep peacefully. A weeping pegasus lay on the concrete floor near the crates, in the dim light of the moonbeams piercing through the hole in the wall. A maroon mare with a gradient blue-purple mane and tail, getting darker towards the tips, and a "medical" cutie mark with a winged syringe was sobbing quietly, bandaging her right wing. An open medicine bag laid beside. I didn't see any direct threat, and that was even strange: I could feel with my tail that the nightmare was sitting here somewhere... But where? Usually, these individuals are fairly straightforward and "process" ponies in person, and here, at first glance, there was no one... I don't understand. I retreated thoughtfully into the shadows. Where are you hiding, fucking bitch?.. I frowned and began to walk around the perimeter of the warehouse. The thick concrete walls, beaten by time, the same concrete floor, the metal beams in the ceiling... She's from Manehattan, no less. The architecture is like from there... I stopped, having finished my rounds at the starting point. Damn, something is wrong, but what? Well, first of all, no obvious sign of a nightmare: no giant spider there, no evil unicorn trying to kidnap for experiments... Think about it! Finally, it clicked in my head: the warehouse had no way out. All the walls were solid, with no doors! To get here, according to the plot of the dream, the poor mare could only on the wings - which obviously did not work out... I looked out from behind the crates. The pony has already finished bandaging, and, having somehow clipped the bags onto herself, was now just crying quietly, clutching on the dusty, cold concrete floor and awkwardly tucking her bandaged wing. She can't get out. Afraid of being trapped with no way out? Or something else? I chewed my lip thoughtfully. No, the initial conclusion was simple, obvious, understandable, and... superficial. I remembered the door in this dream: old, rickety, creaky, with a rusty handle, which obviously was not often touched... No, no, the trap was just a consequence. Loneliness is what haunts her and what she fears! Lying wounded in some abandoned place and knowing that no one will come to help... Probably, she has the same problems in her life, that she cannot solve herself, but there’s no one to call to give her a hand. Needed to no one... Like I was. I sighed and slowly moved towards the pegasus. Let's tag along, ay... Maybe she wouldn't feel lonely at least in a dream... “Greetings. What has happened? Someone...” I hesitated, stopping half-step, trying to figure out what to do, and, at the same time, feeling a rush of irritation. The pony, awake at the sound of my voice, stiffened in horror as soon as she saw who'd said it. Her pupils, which shrank to the thickness of a needle, stopped at my eyes, the tears welled up, and her ears pressed against her head. “The... The Mare in t-the M-moon... D... Don't...” The utterly frightened pegasus whispered with her lips only, and I felt the space of sleep rapidly collapse. In a moment I was already sitting in the "corridor" of doors, shaking my head slightly dazedly. Nice talk we had, damn it... Nice help!.. And I really wanted to do something, and she... And she was so stupidly scared of me that she woke up. Probably jumped up like a catapult, with her heart pounding in her temples and in a cold sweat... Whatever! She wasn't the first, she wasn't the last. Cowards! I got to my feet, snorting in annoyance. Yeah... The folks in Ponyville knows me, but in the palace - they don't dare show fear, even if they have it. And the rest of Equestria... I moved on in a spoiled mood. I really wanted to help, I got into it, so to speak - and here... Damn it! Maybe I should foist her off to Luna? Let the blue one tackle with this. With loneliness, yeah. I chuckled sadly. The next door that caught my eye didn't look much better. Smooth, glossy pink-painted surfaces, with multicolored glass inlays, a silver handle, and an equally silver little graceful crown in the middle. But only behind the external well-being there were disturbing details. The bottom had hardly noticeable cracks, as if the door was often slammed or kicked, the lock under the handle, locking not from the inside, but from the outside, and most importantly, darkness reigned behind the cheerful colored glass inserts, which made it even a little uncomfortable. I frowned and looked again at the door, which vaguely reminded me of something, and listened to my senses. A nightmare was clearly and unmistakably there. And judging by the door, there was the persistent impression that he's been in there quite regularly. All right. Working! I turned the key that appeared in the keyhole, opened the door with determination, and let the whitish haze behind it pull me into a dream. The dream turned out to be weakly structured - the emphasis was on emotions, and the environment played a secondary role. This is a good thing when it comes to making sense of a situation. My appearance will not be immediately perceived and understood, as it was in the last dream. On the other hand, it would be much harder to convince a sleeper of my reality if I have to. However, why would it be necessary? In such dreams, as a rule, there is only a pony and a nightmare - we let the latter go for meat, and the problem solves itself, at least - for one night. The plot I saw was quite banal. A nightmare in the form of, I suppose, a mother, yelling hysterically in a nasty, shrill voice at a despondent, tear-swallowing pink filly with a two-color purple-and-white mane and tail. I shifted my gaze to the nightmare and smiled unkindly, lighting my horn. This is where your ride ends, idiot. The stupid parasite had taken the form of a dirty-pink mare with purple hair. It was dressed in a lousy blue blouse and some strange beads. It had distorted and hypertrophied the features of a pony by taking its height beyond two meters and its voice by the melodious sound of chalk on a blackboard, and was devouring, completely losing any semblance of caution. It hasn't even detected me yet, defective piece of astral... Wait... I took one more look at the unfortunate little pony, and was surprised to see that it was none other than Diamond Tiara. And the nightmare, as I understand it, is playing as her mother, if I recall the canon correctly... What a meeting... I must think about it. I cut off the shrill yelling that made my teeth ache with a mental order and sat down on the... I should have thought about it: the parquet. Well, let it be parquet, it doesn't matter to me. Shall I talk to the little rascal? How was she, how was her mother - well, it didn't look like a "mommy" - relations, how was she with the three little ones? To knock the nightmare and go on, of course, fast, easy and effective, but it's just like giving a fish, not like giving a fishing rod - a temporary solution. And I could have given zero damns, but I do know this particular pony personally, and she doesn't live that far away, and she's in trouble with my friends... And... I just feel sorry for her, really. Living in your house like amongst enemies? It shouldn't be like that. But... Why should I care? For a moment, I thought of the image of Tiara, already not young, begging in a dumpster. I don't think it would ever come to this. Though, with an upbringing like that... I looked thoughtfully at the now silent scene. The lock on the door came to mind. I wonder if this is a literal image? I hope not... Shit. But what if it would come to this? When I see her like that, I'll remember that I could have done something to stop it from happening, but I spit and walked away... No, fuck that! I don't know how things will turn out, what will happen with Tia and me and all... But since I'm in charge of protecting from nightmares now, and I have to live here with all these ponies, I guess I have to protect the people I live with, right?.. I rose, having made up my mind. The nightmare goes into a furnace, Tiara gets a conversation. Maybe something would work out... I had to figure out how to put myself into a dream so that she would perceive me. The plan was born quickly. I stabilized the dream, added details for better perception by the sleeper. Fortunately, Tiara herself subconsciously helped me a lot to create a familiar environment. As soon as I mentally commanded "bed!", the subconscious of the little earthpony turned the appearing bed into exactly her bed. Soon I was looking at a rich and somewhat tastelessly decorated room instead of an amorphous something. The stupid nightmare was only now beginning to suspect something, but the stage was already set for its sawing out. The spell that had been thrust into the parasite's head has disintegrated it into a cloud of rapidly dissipating energy, and my construct, which Tiara herself had quickly helped to make realistic, has taken its place. It was surprisingly close to the image the nightmare had used, except that it didn't look so hypertrophied and disgusting. After yelling sluggishly at her scared daughter for another minute, the disgruntled " mother" turned to see the door open. Filthy Rich, another image of me, walked into the room. “It’s enough, dear. It’s crossing every line!” He hovered over his "wife" with his nostrils flared menacingly. Tiara picked up the dream. There was awareness in her eyes, and in her mind, the blurred and fragmented emotions and cries, supposedly, have now become a coherent "movie". Which, by the way, the earthpony was quite surprised by. There was something of "it doesn't happen that way!" of hers. “Don't interfere with!..” “Don't interfere with what? Yelling at my daughter and the heiress of my business?!” The stallion roared overwhelmingly, shifting his eyebrows menacingly. “Go into the living room - I'll talk to you later! Go on!” He repeated with pressure to the frozen mare, whose name I couldn't remember, damn it. The mare, muttering something, finally hurried away. It was as if all the air has been sucked out of Tiara, who had been tense as a string the whole time, and she cried again, but this time with relief. “Th... Tha-anks, d-d-a-ad...” “I invited someone.” The stallion smiled blushingly. “A well-known model in Ponyville lately. She wanted to talk to you. Including about your mom. Here, take a look...” I entered the room of the tense filly again, but now in flesh. “...Nightmare Moon. You would talk a bit, wouldn't you?” He addressed to me. “And I must... Talk to my wife about her behavior now.” “Of course, Filthy.” I nodded with readiness, amping the dream's stability along the way once again - just in case. “It will be a pleasure to get acquainted with your daughter.” The construct, with a relieved nod, slipped out the door and ceased to exist, leaving us alone with Diamond Tiara. Now we could try and talk. And if an opportunity appears, I can pull her into a fully conscious dream, instead of the way she was now, where she took everything as reality. “Don't get along with your parents?” I asked in a sympathetic voice, while gradually reducing myself to the size of an ordinary pony, so as not to be perceived as too threatening. “W... Why a-are you here?” The filly muttered nervously swallowing and retreating a couple of steps. She was unconsciously trying to throw me out of the dream - understandably, to no avail. “You know that I’m Scootaloo's friend, don't you? I decided to stop by when I got the wind, that you bully her because of the problem at home.” The questions "how?" and "where from?" are not supposed to be there right now, because critical thinking doesn't work. And if they do, it means that she is already quite here and understands that all around is a dream. “I bully her because she's poor! And she studies worse than I do! And she can't fly!” Tiara hummed arrogantly. How to damn crack you?.. “Why offend those who are poorer or have poorer grades? Didn't Princess Celestia teach all ponies to respect and appreciate each other regardless of that?” I don't know if she actually taught everyone and if it's actually what she taught... But Tia has an almost unshakable authority in society, and among the kids, as a rule, it's absolute. “Because mom says so! And Princess Celestia doesn't see the real life from her throne!” I wonder if there's an article for dissidence? Otherwise, the mother could be stupidly imprisoned and deprived of her parental rights - isn't that a solution?.. “And you think it's right?” “Yes! A real noble lady should behave like that!” Damn. We need to wake her up and talk to her properly. She's practically talking in slogans, and she'll forget half of it when she wakes up. That's not it... The question is, how to do it? In theory, you could first detail the dream as much as possible, assuring her that it is real, and then sharply translate it into unprecedented wildness. It might work on dissonance. Or vice versa, through inconsistencies of some kind? Hm-m... Thinking shortly, I created clocks behind me on a wall, trying to think ‘em out with all the details - more detailed objects against less detailed ones, according to Luna, should attract more attention... When I turned around to assess the result, I involuntarily shuddered. Instead of the image I was trying to make, my mind subconsciously chose a different one. These clocks have been hanging in our apartment since I was born, a gift from my grandmother, I think... I swallowed a lump in my throat and repainted them to match the color of the room and replaced the Arabic numerals with Equine numerals. That would do. I won't be able to provide more detailed ones, anyway... It worked. The little pony immediately inadvertently glanced at the clocks, automatically fixing the time. And now we stop it in place, leaving a ticking sound that tells us it's going. After a swift thought, I also sketched a scene behind the previously tightly curtained window, sticking a train station in there and running an endless train. And that is instead of the high fence of their mansion. That’s all. All that was left to do was talk. “I personally know Princess Celestia and many other aristocrats - and they don't allow themselves such behavior.” Let’s pretend I don't know Bluesy. “Insulting someone is inadmissible for them, because it means losing their dignity!..” I've been going back and forth like that for about twenty minutes - if there's any point in talking about time in this place. Tiara has already thrown a couple of glances at the clock, but so far, apparently, she suspected nothing. No, that's not it. Change of plan. The train disappeared out the window. Now there was a street with bustling passersby and, most importantly, open stores with full windows. I opened the curtains, and moved Tiara to the bed so she could at least catch a glimpse of what was going on outside the window. Ye-ep... The shop windows will be empty, the flow of passersby will change, it will rain intermittently, and the clocks, ticking convincingly, will continue to stand. Or, even better, keep going, but very slowly. With a satisfied nod, I continued the conversation. Man, I wish she would hurry up already!.. I'm sick of it... Finally, after another twenty minutes, Tiara's muzzle turned anxious as she looked first at the clocks and then out the window. Bingo. The debit and credit were no longer adding up. I thought about it briefly and trimmed the scene outside the window so that it only looked normal from Tiara's seat. I could see passersby disappearing and appearing in the air, in a place where the road seemed to be clipped by a laser into a murky void. Diamond Tiara, meanwhile, grew tenser with each phrase and glanced more frequently at the clocks. “Mistress Nightmare... When will my father come?” She finally broke. “In five minutes.” I answered calmly. The number of glances at the clocks doubled. It began to rain outside. Drops drummed on the glass, leaving trails on it. The conversation continued, shifting to the subject of school. I was stupidly asking about all the subjects and asking anything I could just to stall for time. Tiara was already acting like she was on pins and needles. “When my father will come?” She finally repeated with concern and pressure, interrupting me mid-word. “In five minutes.” I waved with a wing phlegmatically, creating sleep stabilization for the third time at the same time. The rain outside had stopped, and the sun was shining. “You've already said that, and five minutes have already passed!” The pony rose up, poking her hoof behind my back with a reproach towards the clocks. “Even the rain has stopped!” I looked back at the clocks in surprise, simultaneously turning the hand back five minutes and starting the rain again. “It’s bad to lie, little lady!” I shook my head with a reproach. “Five minutes haven't passed yet, and, as I can see, even the rain hasn't ended as well. Don't digress, please. You said, that the mountain slope...” “But... How...” The pony mumbled perplexedly, laying back her ears and turning gaze back and forth between the clocks and the window. “I... I’ll check my daddy, okay?” She jumped off her bed and moved towards the door defiantly. “Filthy is busy and asked to not disturb him.” The earthpony pushed the door, but it, with a sudden clang of the bolt, remained closed. “How?.. Has he locked?..” Tiara mumbled pitifully, looking at me with a bit of a panicking gaze. “Of course he hasn't. He’ll come back in five minutes.” I answered monotonically and out of turn. The rain has ended. “Hey, wh... what's going on h-here?” The filly looked around with a haunted gaze and swallowed brokenly. It works, ay! She’ll turn on soon. “Just talking.” I smiled. “You was talking about geography...” “I’m not...” Tiara looked out the window, then at the clocks, then again out the window. She turned white in the face, pressing her ears against her head in fear. The time was the same. It wasn't raining. “I’m n-not...” She hopped onto the edge of the bed on shaky legs. And almost fell off, seeing the landscape outside the window from a more accessible angle, with passersby disappearing and emerging out of nowhere. The same ones mechanically moving back and forth. “What?!.. How?!..” Pony looked at me - and started to fall back on the bed in fear. “No-no-no, o Celestia!.. The Mare in the Moon is!.. It’s a dream, it’s just a dream, I’m sleeping...” Bingo. Nodding approvingly and smiling with lips only, I "collapsed" the street and the ground with the walls of the room and furniture, leaving only the bed, on which Tiara sat, of all the familiar furnishings. Then I built castle in a Gothic pointed-triangular gloomy style behind my back, that had been created in the dreams. “You're absolutely right, little pony, it's a dream. Welcome to my realm - and sorry for this not-so-pleasant introduction.” The dream went in waves, trying to collapse, but the preparation did its job, and I managed not to let my guest wake up, leaving her in a fully conscious dream. “W-what have you done?!” The mare cried out trembling, looking around fearfully at the completely changed situation. “I want to go home!..” “Let you realize yourself in your dreams, Tiara. Again, I'm sorry about the methods - I just don't know any other way yet. Don't be afraid. You'll wake up in your bed soon, but I'd like to talk first. Do you mind?” “I d-don't want to talk!” The little frightened pony exclaimed, and, realizing the said, squinted her eyes, laying back the ears. “Mommy!..” I know how to make friends... I scared the hell out of her, instead of... Oh, shit... I looked thoughtfully at the castle and blew it away, replacing its surroundings with a picturesque green clearing with bright sunshine and butterflies, to which I moved my trembling companion from the disappearing bed. I remembered the aroma of meadow herbs and wildflowers, the playful touch of grass, tickling the pads of my feet under my hooves, the wind ruffling my fur and feathers, fluttering my mane... I shuddered, erased the raven, which materialized inadvertently under the memory, chanting on a tree. Not today, pop star, damn it!.. The glade was a sight to behold. I nodded in satisfaction and laid down on the grass next to Tiara, who was watching it all warily, and put my wing around her, earning a very indignant look. “D-don't even try, I won't forgive you no matter what!” The mare tried to look independent, going over her fear. “You've had a nightmare, little pony. Fighting them is my job in some sort... How do you feel?” “I’m fine.” The pony grumbled under her breath. “And now let me go home if you don't want to quarrel with my daddy! And it's better to be friends with him!” “I think Filthy would understand me.” I smiled with my lips only. “After all - I just want to help you.” “Why would you? You rub shoulders with these blank flanks and help them, don't you?” I was looked at by an arrogant and a bit frightened gaze. No, her arrogance and this "I'm a Queen, and all the plebs won't dare touch me!" is even slightly admirable in its maximalism. But it would be sad and difficult to go through life with that attitude. How can I make her understand better?.. “The blank flank is a peculiarity that will pass with time." I rose, and at the same time regained my normal height, and now hovered over Diamond Tiara. “But a ruined reputation stays for a very long time, if not forever.” “Ruined like yours?” This immortal cockroach hummed, getting on her feet as well. Getting cocky - and she's doing that for absolute nothing. “Ruined like yours, Diamond. I am not abandoned by my friends and respected by others.” “What does reputation have to do with it at all?” Tiara stomped her foot with an angry scowl. “You did this! On purpose! And it's because of you now!.. I’m now!..” Sighing, she sat down where she stood, hastening to look away from me. “They’re like that because of you! How could this Silver name me a coward before everyone?! Idiot!” The filly exclaimed with a lost voice. “I wasn't frightened, I just went to find miss Cheerilee!.. Because!.. Because...” Tiara froze tensely, overcoming her tears. I pursed my lips with a frown. It was something like I wanted... Here's the result. Yes, I had to put them down somehow, to make them forget to bully anyone, to teach them a lesson, but... To teach them a lesson, yes. Not to break them up and leave them to sort themselves out. Well... I’ll try. Like Luna said, yeah... “Why do you care so much?” I asked with exaggerated indifference. “Some insignificant paupers who exist only to show them their place are treating you badly - wow, that's a catastrophe.” “I don't even have anyone to play with now!” The pony screamed angrily and sobbed. “And... And my mom also scolds me for allowing to not respect me...” “But you're rich. How much would you pay to have Silver Spoon as your friend again?” “I d-don't know...” Diamond dashed away the tears, sobbing. “W-well... A box with toys. Maybe even two, if that wouldn't be enough! And I'd buy ice cream...” “But if in money?” “E-e... Plenty of, I guess?.. But I won't pay you for sure!” The mare looked at me with a frown, clearly suspicious of something. “Why would I need it.” I chuckled sadly. “I live in a palace, I eat from the gold, I can at any moment tear off the first guard I see and order him to bring me something, I can buy any thing. I can go to the reigning Princess's chambers in the middle of the night and wake her up if I want to, after all.” “And... What then?..” The pony was impressed. “Then nothing.” I chuckled. I haven't tried it, but I doubt Luna would even scold me for it. The fact that we’re talking about her, not everyone-admired Tia, who has the same title, is left behind my teeth. “She'd mumble under her breath, that I’m interrupting her sleep. But you know what? I don't really need all that. The money, the expensive crockery, the ability to have the guards run for tea... In fact, my dream right now, in fact, is to leave everything behind and go back to Rarity's house. To live in two rooms with the three of us, to cook and clean the house by myself... Because even the whole of Canterlot isn't worth as much to me as my best friend. I'm happy with her, but I'm not happy at the palace. And that's all that matters.” “You're saying like money are worthless at all!” Tiara sniffed distrustfully. “My dad doesn't earn them just because!” “Money is something that can make life easier and, sometimes, a little more versatile. But it's not what makes us happy.” “Not true!” “Why? You're rich, you live in a big mansion with personal servants, and Scootaloo lives in some old house in the middle of nowhere." I don't know if I guessed or not, but it's hardly different, is it? “Would you say she's unhappy?” “Well... I wouldn't?” The earthpony bent her brows thoughtfully. “But you help her, I know!” “Okay. I don't help Apple Bloom, and she surely doesn't live wealthy. And she hasn't got a cutie mark, and wears a usual bow instead of a crown... Is she unhappy?” Tiara, slowing a bit, shook her head unwillingly. “And that's because she's not alone. And because she treats others kindly and is always ready to help someone in need, she won't lose her friends and will probably find new ones.” The filly, sullenly digging the ground with her hoof, was silent. “Make peace with Silver Spoon, with...” “Why would I?! It’s not my fault, that she!..” “But didn't you run away when she got a problem? If she ran away like that, what would you think?” “Nothing! I don't know!” The mare mumbled under her breath, fading out. “Apologize, offer some sweats. Make everything clear and why did it happen like that.” “Why would she need it anyway?..” Tiara sighed wistfully, digging the ground with her hoof again. “She's already started hanging out with Sweetie, that blank flank one...” “What makes you so sure an empty flank is a bad thing, Diamond? Anything could show up on it. Even a Sun like Princess Celestia's. When Sweetie replaces her and becomes an alicorn, you'll be reminded of old grudges. What will you do?” “You're making this up! It can't be like that!” The earthpony rose up. “It’s an example. Apple Bloom, for instance, will get an apple with gears, become interested in mechanization. She will become the largest and richest producer of apples and apple products. Plants in several cities, huge plantations, an office in the capital, a ministerial position... And then you come to her for some kind of permission - what will she say?” “Okay, I got it...” Tiara grumbled gloomily, being in heavy thoughts for some time. “It’s better to not touch the blank flanks.” “And why should anyone be "touched" at all? So they can whisper behind your back about how wicked and ill-mannered you are, and that it's better not to be friends with you? You'll end up lonely again, like you are now. You don't like it, do you?” “I don't.” “You see it now. So think about what you need to do to make sure this doesn't happen again, and make up with Spoon.” “And with those as well?” “You're an adult - choose yourself.” I smiled. “But if you make friends with the crusaders, you can threaten your mother that you're going to go live with Apple Bloom...” After talking to Diamond Tiara for a few more minutes and adding the crusaders and Silver Spoon on the lawn, urging our crown Princess to swing together on the swings and play hide-and-seek, I said goodbye and quietly disappeared from sleep, confident, that our conversation would not be forgotten by the filly. I met Luna at the "beginning of the coordinates" quite exhausted, but, for some reason, happy and light-hearted. It's a pity it won't work with Tia like it did with Tiara - she doesn't even seem to trust her sister about me, let alone me... Maybe it's a good thing I don't have to maneuver through a verbal battle with such a difficult opponent. I’m fed up with the small one already, and persuading an ancient alicorn... Waking up from my thoughts, I told the blue one in a few words about my experience. Then, giving her the thought image of a shy, lonely pegasus from the warehouse, I created a small, completely dark space for myself as a dream, in which I passed out as soon as I was able to get comfortable. That’s all... *** I glided easily along the contact track of the giant board, enjoying the flicker of the LED highlighting and the measured hum of the coolers, and occasionally slowing down at an interested monitor to catch a glimpse of someone's dream that reigned on the other side of the screen. They, too, like the doors, were all different: huge CRT "TVs" with convex screens, compact notebook LCDs, plasma panels with a couple of meters of diagonal. Somewhere there was a clear, detailed and consistent picture, and somewhere there were chaotic abstractions that replaced each other... All of them, however, did not distract me for long. Today I was looking for one particular dream, having purposely come into this world when she was definitely asleep. The contact track wiggled around a ring wrapped in copper wire, passed an enormous battery tab wedged horizontally between the towers and dived to a connector, from which another board grew far up into the sky. A second of disorientation, and I was already gliding up the perpendicular surface, towards the lights shining far into the darkness. Finally, I froze in front of the monitor I was looking for. My gut was right: the dream of someone I knew in reality, someone with whom I've gone to the dream world more than once, couldn't be so easily lost from me here. Especially since she was now a guest in this world, sleeping and dreaming. Luna. I swept my gaze over the monitor itself, but immediately shifted my attention to what it was showing. I guess that's what I was partly even afraid to see... The gray wastes of the Moon, the lone pony scurrying about in terror and panic and incomprehension. And the endless abyss watching her from above with indifferent disdain through its countless starry eyes. A plot familiar to the details. These nightmares are seen by the one, that led to it without doubt or regret. She cannot, must not regret it now! She didn't care - and shouldn't care!.. Gritting my teeth, I lowered my gaze. She could not truly regret it! She had been preparing for more than a dozen years, she wanted it to end like this! She can't repent! And I don't want to forgive her! I took a step back and looked at the damn monitor with hatred. "Be honest with yourself”, huh, Rarity? I wish they'd hire you to sew all sorts of BDSM! And test you on yourself! I'll paint you then, a big print!.. Damned horse... I whipped myself with my tail in annoyance and lit the horn. I was about to leave the dream world, but a changing image on the monitor caught my attention, making me hesitate and extinguish it. The blue one, now wrapped in rigid shackles with a collar and an anti-magic limiter on her horn, was sitting in a cage in some dungeon. She was trying to explain something to Tia as she strode along the bars. After listening for a few seconds, the latter, narrowing her eyes angrily, dropped the phrase and, under her sister's helpless gaze, smothered both torches shining in the dark with a shield, then simply walked away. She left her, shackled and helpless, in the dungeon in complete darkness and alone. Unwillingly interested in the dream scene, I leaned closer, leaning against the top edge of the monitor... and it jerked me inside, treacherously turning the picture into a murky haze. Damn it!.. Okay, it wouldn't be that hard to get out... The damp, cold air of the dungeon hit my sense of smell, and I cursed quietly, finding myself in total darkness at once. The door slammed shut with a clang in the distance, and a scream of horror and despair rippled through the gloomy, dark corridors, making me shudder. Luna, damn you... The dream, however, contrary to all expectations, did not disintegrate, letting the pony into reality, waking up jumping to the accompaniment of his own scream and in a cold sweat, but only blinked again, switching to a new plot. Something about the Moon again... I grimaced and squeamishly shook my hooves off the white-gray sand. I looked around, ignoring as much as possible the scene of a fight between two mares. It was Luna and, interestingly enough, my reflection in the mirror, except that it strongly resembled a teenager. “Daughter”, yeah?.. Hey! I don't give a shit! After spending a few more minutes, I was finally able to distinguish what I was looking for - Luna, who was a powerless bystander in these plots, able only to see what was happening, but unable to influence anything. That's why she didn't jump up, because it was like a dream-remembrance... The translucent alicorn was silently watching what was happening and pouring out tears, not paying attention to anything else. I turned away hastily. I don't need your remorse, blue one! I don't want anything from you at all! So, where's the astral bastard that's spinning this whole movie? I covered my eyes and concentrated on the sensations. It’s encrypting, damn it! It can be either one of the characters or some inconspicuous element of the decor. Luna, who has regained the ability to enter the world of dreams, would not be touched by any weakling... Bastard! If it were my dream, I would've figured the beast out in no time, as it was then - one awareness and desire were enough, in fact! But it's Luna's dream, and she's strong and... like... she's worked on its stability? I stared at Luna, snorting in bewilderment. She cannot think this is a dream! Yeah, its help is not that big, especially when what happens is the black days of your own memory, but you can fight it, I've seen it. At the same time, the nightmare doesn't really get away from you... Could Luna be watching all of this... on purpose? Voluntarily? I stared at the translucent alicorn in confusion. At the same time, I remembered the moment from the canon where the blue one directly ordered the nightmare to torture her... If so, is this horse even normal? Does she want to get mental problems? Not that I feel sorry for her, of course... Maybe she wants to fatten our potential adversary? And if it's the same nightmare that's eating Tia, then it's not potential, it's direct and active! We're in enough trouble, you headless fool! I sighed grimly and lit my horn. I think I know where the local director is... The beam hit Luna. The "translucency" jerked sharply away from her, turning into a black and purple blob and, blinking, disappeared from the dream. Luna shuddered, glanced at me with a meaningful look, and then hurriedly stared at the floor, pressing her ears guiltily. I threw a frown at her and strode across the parquet. There was a lot to talk to her about. But I didn't want to. I walked back the way I'd come, and then I looked at the continuing scene for some reason... and froze, staring at something very familiar. Luna and Rarity were sitting peacefully at the table in the living room of my present lair, talking quietly and exchanging smiles as they drank tea. The door to the bedroom swung open, and my figure appeared on the threshold. I was in a stupor, and I threw myself toward her, hugging her to the breaking point of her bones... tears on my friend's shoulder for not forgetting and not abandoning her. I turned my gaze to the blue one at the table, and I shuddered at the ocean of pain in her eyes. She slipped quietly from the table and ran out of the living room, pressing a wing to her face as if trying to stop the tears, leaving me and Rar alone. “You once loved me as much as you love her.” I shuddered at the sudden sound of a low, cracked voice next to me. “And I indifferently and ruthlessly destroyed that feeling. I betrayed and abandoned you.” “Can you say something up to date?” I asked rudely, more because I didn't know what to say at all. The scene ended, frozen and faded. Luna, with her eyes closed, wiped it away, leaving us standing on a cloud in the middle of a sunset sky. I silently nibbled at the cloud with my shoe, quelling the Luna's will a little. The shoe slammed into the cloud with a metallic clang, causing a sheaf of sparks. Luna shuddered. "Go, Nightmare. Leave me alone with my nightmares. With what I most deserve by my disgusting deeds. Go, please.” If you want the show to go on, blue one, then I'll make sure it doesn't! It's bad for your health and stuff... “You ain't getting it, Luna. We have enough fattening nightmares without your help!” In a hover of uncertain silence, I tried again to kick at the cloud. A reproachful look from Luna and a small surge of her will, and instead of hitting it with sparks, my foot only silently dug through a thin layer of snow. I swept the alicorn with a frown, forcing her to droop awkwardly. Dead horse meat. I concentrated and pressed, forcing the world of sleep to bend beneath my will. Now we were standing on a small island, floating in some kind of blue-pink-purple astral. Around it hung other islands, ruins of a castle with a picturesque trail of individual stones and large fragments of walls and towers hanging in the strange space, a piece of land with a forest, a piece of desert, sand from which flowed into the void like a waterfall, the fragments of some crystal... Luna shuddered, glancing around this phantasmagorical landscape. I smirked and sent a wave of reinforcement through it. No changes here - I like it as it is. “Nightmare...” Finally, the blue one spoke up, raising her thoughtful gaze to the giant purple vortex above our heads. It looked like a black hole or a tornado, glittering with frequent lightning. “If you don't want to amplify the nightmares - and that's right, really - you could..." The alicorn hesitated, staring at the ground. “I could” what?” “Gift me nightmares yourself.” She looked up at me with defiance, slowing. Nice phrase! “Gift me”!.. “Recompense me for everything here. Quench your thirst for vengeance and let m...” I rolled my jaw and made Luna freeze with my will. “I’m not you, Luna, I don't revel in others’ misery! If you need an executioner, look for him in a mirror! But I promise you, and do you know what? In all your dreams there will be a complete idyll for a long time to come!” I poked my shoe in the chest of the frowning alicorn. You don't know what and to whom you're offering, you suicidal idiot. I could shove you into a nightmare, I could, but what would be left of you if I don't hold my composure? Make you torture Tia, eat Cadence... “Don't provoke me, Luna. You don't know what terror I can bring to you. Sleep.” Leaving the blue one alone, I slipped out of the dream, and then out of the dream world. I wiggled in the darkness on the bed, lit the horn, found one of the fallen pillows on the floor. I glanced at the clocks: four and a penny. I have to sleep. Sleep and have a good sleep... I feel that the dream world is already quite accessible to me - so there's no point in delaying. Tomorrow or the day after, I think I'll go into Tia's dream, looking for the beast that's keeping her frightened - and it’ll regret it when I find it. But that’s later. For now it would be nice to get some sleep... 53. 'Till The LastAuthor's Note "A special task is the one after which you'll be given an order. But it will be given to your family." Original author's note. The "Why did I think I was clutching..." sentence is where English does not represent all picture. It was said by a female - my theory that it's Nightmare - judging by the ending of the word. Auf Wiedersehen - German words for "Goodbye". A lot of German vocabulary was borrowed during 1941-1945. I'll let you to guess what event caused this to happen... 53. 'Till The Last “Everything is ready. When you enter the world of dreams, I will start and focus the ritual, and it will feed you with energy for some time. Find the dream of my sister. Hopefully, she's having a nightmare right now, and you can find someone who supports it.” I nodded silently in response, made myself comfortable on the bunk, and closed my eyes. Luna is saying that for, I think, the third time this evening and night because of the nervousness. I was shaking as well, if to be honest... The opponent was old and strong, and surprisingly familiar: I had chased that beast out of my dreams, and it ate Luna, too... Nice feeding this damn thing has got - three damned alicorns! But I was able to find him and chase it away, which is not surprising: why should it risk when it can eat off Tia and Luna, who voluntarily fed it? What idiot she is... One way or another, the fucking "director" is going to end his career tonight... The plan was simple: find Celestia's dream, the nightmare in it, attack, making the cattle run and hide, as was their custom. Then catch up and impose the fight in the "neutral" space of the dream world, so as not to get Tia involved. I sighed. Even though it seemed that we have done everything to prepare, it was now the uncertainty and the feeling of my own unpreparedness that was gnawing at me. As usual before a serious undertaking, anyway. I chuckled. Stop stalling. Let’s rock and roll. At last I would solve the problems I have created for myself and for others. *** A purple fog filled everything. The shaky, fickle world swam even more strongly before my eyes. An... Understanding came. Why am I doing this? Is it my choice? I... I can do anything, anything at all, but instead of doing something really necessary, useful, interesting I do... what? I dance as Luna says, chasing the nightmares that maybe were created by her? But I can't see the power, which is just a foot away! Bigger than Celestia's! Bigger than Celestia's, Luna's and Cadence's combined! If... I would travel across the worlds! I can make a human body, get back to the motherland, find my siblings! I would remember! Remember everything! Why? Everything that was there is over. I left. And those, who were with me, said goodbye to me. Forever. It means it's time to live here. Live in comfort! Create a human body right here... Usual. Wieldy. Without these uncountable legs! With hands and fingers, which sometimes are quite needed. Even though mainly mental-wise... But why? Why do I need it here, in Equestria? I can make it even better! Create a body of a stallion! It would be more understandable and even more habitual. To trample on the dilemma that pops into my head with every visit to the shower! To run after Tia. Or Rarity. To run after Tia and Rarity! To live life to the fullest, without the constant dilemmas, the doubts, the discomfort! Without the fear of a close relationship! And without the equalogists! Yes, it would be so much better... nicer. More comfortable. No more dread of the thought of intimacy. Hm, it's... Maybe, really?.. But the cost?.. Phew, gibberish. I can leave my own alone, but why should I care about the others? But again... No. I should think... I... I don't need to dwell on it. Nightmare had been so eager to be acknowledged and admired... And I could do what I could to be admired! Like Tia! More than Tia! Build a castle higher than the Canterlot mountain! To bathe in the glory and admiration! No, it's... But why should I care?.. No, impossible!.. ... I squeezed my temples with my hands. The chaos of thoughts and images was overwhelming and maddening. I licked my lips - something warm and salty came into my mouth. ... The others... And my own?.. I can leave them alone. On the contrary! They can be protected so that no one will touch them at all! With a patron so powerful, no one would dare threaten them! I can create an army out of nothing! Golems, machines, undead - whatever you want! I can build a real fortress with traps, enchanted walls, and protective artifacts that would kill even Discord, Tirek, and Sombra put together! My own would be perfectly safe! I guess so... And a stallion body, too! As a nice addition! It could even be anthropomorphic! I could give everyone an anthropomorphic body! Why not?.. And also!.. No. No, damn it, I can't! What am I thinking about?.. About the... ... I gritted my teeth, clenching my head as it tried to burst. Shit, it hu-urts!.. I swallowed blood. ... Why did I think I was clutching my head with some "hands"?.. ... Protect-protect-protect... They know me. Nightmare, what's going on? What are you doing? They'll understand. They'll feel it. And can I really protect them? The power, the might, the adoration, the admiration... It's never enough. In the pursuit of more, I... I'll be a threat to them myself. N-no... I don't want that... I don't want that. I don't want to! I will be a threat to everyone. I’ll protect no one. I will live off their fear. My own. Others. Any! All of them! Immerse myself in nightmare and feed, revel in their terror! Enjoying every sip, feeling my own power grow! NO!... No... ... The pain eased, as if on second thought, it came again. ... Why it should be ponies? There are changelings, griffons... Who among my own people would judge? Who would even know? But they will all be safe! And I will be in a pleasant and comfortable body, surrounded by... They will not! The power will intoxicate. First the others. Then the ponies. Then my own. They will notice. They will understand. They'll beg for mercy... No! I don't want to! I can't! ... I wiped the blood off my face with my wrist, smeared more on my fur, and struggled to get my trembling legs under me to try to get up. ... No way. I can't do this. I'm not going to live... To exist like a parasite, oppressing and driving others to despair for my own sake. A nightmare is an intangible entity, it needs a lot of power to break into the real world and stay there, but I am a creature of the real world... To immerse the world in nightmares in dreams in order to become stronger in reality... And to turn into a monster that would be unmatched? Including in the eyes of "my own" when they find out? And then I’ll get them, convincing myself that a little won't hurt. And then, gradually ... No. The past stays in the past! Here, in the present, I can achieve anything on my own! I'll build myself a reputation! I'll build my own castle! And I can protect my pony by myself - that's what I'm doing now! The human body... What's in it for me now? It can't fly, and... And I’m not used to it a little now... And the sex... Phew... And you're offering me to betray everyone and everything at once, be like Luna just for... Just for the penis only?.. I burst out laughing hysterically, feeling my head throbbing and my throat burning, but unable to stop. D-damn... Are you fucking seriously?.. Yes, I am afraid and ashamed of my new sex and not eager to get used to it and adapt to it. But not so much as to turn into a drowning in terror and despair and reveling in his power inadequate monster, who has fallen to the dark side in the fullest and worst sense of the expression! No. I stopped laughing and straightened up on my trembling legs, involuntarily assuming a precise, etiquette pose. I blinked, struggling to focus the persistent violet blurring in front of my eyes and feeling the drying tears pulling at the corners of my eyes. I spit blood. I can do almost all of this on my own. Or with the help of friends, if my own abilities are not enough. Except maybe the problem with my sex, but it's obviously not worth the sacrifice. And you, piece of astral, are a fabulous idiot, if that's all you've managed to come up with as suggestions. The thick, opaque purple fog, which clearly outlined a grotesque figure, swirled back in front of me. The strong absorb to make them stronger. The weak are absorbed to make the strong stronger. By refusing to be strong, you are weak. You will perish. The understanding is gone. “It’s YOU who are going to die, bitch!” I grinned angrily, feeling a wave of anger rising from within me, making the blood run faster through my veins, directed at this creature of horror. “I remember you got beaten up once, and then you tried to run! But there's nowhere for you to go, fucker, and I'll finally finish what I started! And the fact that you've been chewing on Tia and Luna all these weeks isn't going to help you, you cloud of semi-intelligent ectoplasm! Dreams are my realm!!!” The magic blew into the horn, trying to bend it to the ground and boil the reactor inside with its frenzied fury. Auf Wiedersehen, bitch!.. ... I've made a mistake. Fuck. The gray corridor of an old Soviet bunker was strewn with a stream of black blotches, forcing me to pull back around the corner and press myself into the cold, bare concrete wall. The threat has passed, but I was in no hurry to jump up and rush somewhere, taking the crumbs of time from the prolonged battle for a breather, frantically sucking in the cold air, smelling of old dust, mold, and the distinctive stench of damp concrete. I inhaled as hard as I could, and then exhaled slowly, watching the puffs of steam escape from my mouth as I exhaled. However, I think steam was getting out of my own body... My heart was pounding in my neck, and with each beat I felt a pain in my head and horn, sweat flooding my eyes... I spit a thick saliva on the floor, and wiped my forehead with my wrist. That’s all, damn it. I can't sit here any longer. Let’s rock ‘n’ roll. I pulled my disobedient body up from the dirt floor with an effort of will and aching muscles, and I put up my shield and crossed the dangerous corridor. Something rumbled behind me, making my tail flicker with static. Ha... yawned, asshole... Now through this hall into that corridor over there, and I'll try to flank it... The creature clearly entrenched there with a purpose in mind, preventing me from attacking, thus putting me in an almost hopeless situation. Which I myself have contributed to... When I attacked Tia's dream, the nightmare simply escaped as planned, leaving its stable area and entering the big world of dreams, so to speak. When I caught up with the cattle in the "neutral territory" I created my own stable area with both of us. A Soviet bunker that I remembered from some excursion or game. The ceilings, however, were somehow senselessly high for an underground fortification, either because of the habit or because of the presence of wings and the instincts associated with it. I don't know. I’m fine with that. I stabilized the dream once more, so that it wouldn't run away... and that turned out to be my fatal mistake. The monster, pinned against the wall, stopped running. First it tried to ride my brains out, and when that didn't work, it started to fight back. And after some time we both realized that it was stronger. And now it suddenly turned out that it was not him who was locked with me in thick concrete walls, which are not easy to escape, but me with him! Damn... Here, in a place where, in essence, the power of reason and imagination decides, I was more skillful - trivially by virtue of origin, my attacks were much more crushing, I was additionally fueled by the Luna's ritual... And the creature was faster - because of its origin and innate skill in creating any constructions with the ease of breath, and, worst of all, much, much thicker and tougher. It's the essence of naked energy, fatigue means death for it, but it’s been eating away for a while, and, to be honest, it's been eating away quiet gorgeously, having energy more than the whole world. Yes, it was about half its original size, but I was also literally falling off my feet, safely losing the battle of attrition... And now it was no longer him, but me with a dilemma. Will I try to break the stability of the bunker to be able to retreat - and be attacked in even more exhaustion while trying to do so. Or will I go for it, trying to implement an attack concept that would give me victory before I fell, which has frankly a shitty chance. Or I could hold on until the bunker itself lost its stability, which I have not kept up for a long time, and collapsed... The nightmare understood all this too, and entrenched in the corner hall, not allowing me to come closer. Apparently, he was preparing something deadly to kill me with a single blow. If he succeeds, then I will not wake up in my current state in reality. Even if I woke up now, I would feel absolutely fantastic... So. Here. This corridor is wider and shorter, plus you can try to create some false targets in the other two - there will be a chance to get to him and... I sighed tiredly. Fuck knows what "and”. No idea what to do. I just don’t have any energy to do anything to hit him. And the power from the ritual disappeared for good... I'll have to thank the blue one if I survive - without her sorcery I would have run out a long time ago. And then probably still break her face for thinking of feeding this abomination by herself! Like we had no problems! I chuckled wryly. This irony... Suddenly there was a ripple wave through the space. It seems that my bunker is having a hard time... A chance to get out. Or all the preparation of the nightmare was that he was punching his own way out - but then I would have no respect for him at all... I listened to my senses and, spitting on the corridor, hurriedly, as fast as I could, tapped my three remaining shoes and one bare hoof on the dusty concrete in the direction of the outlined breach. “When orkz foll bakk it don't count loss! Bekause zey orkz and zey go return, yez!” I tried to limp faster with a hum. They go return and strike everyone. I'll put Cadence in charge of the support ritual, and we'll pair up with Luna next time... I turned the corner and almost sat on my croup in surprise. “Luna?!..” “It seems I'm just in time.” The alicorn smiled faintly, sweeping a thoughtful gaze over me. “You have spare teeth, blue one?” I narrowed my eyes evilly. “I!.. Oh... Nightmare, I’m not mocking you at all.” She sighed and drooped. “This is a powerful enemy for any of us. And don't deny your need for help.” “The ritual would have been enough!..” I grumbled, turning away to hide my blush. Idiot... “The rest of its energy has been depleted to breach a way... Here.” Luna looked around and cringed chilly. “A creepy place.” “Not very cozy at most.” I didn't agree. “Okay... The monster is powerful. I locked us both in here, expecting to deal with him where he couldn't escape. But the damned nightmare, when nailed against the wall, is quite a toothy bastard. And, bastard, stupidly very strong. I managed to deplete him by about half, but now he's retreated to a dead room and is making something there. I'm guessing something deadly.” “In this case - be cautious, Nightmare. Of the two of us, it's you he's going to hit - your consciousness holds the place. If he can handle you, he can escape, and the ritual has taken a lot of my strength, I won't be able to catch up with our enemy and put up a fight." Luna frowned as she listened to the disposition and warned me. “Let me share my energy with you.” “Come on.” I downed my head, letting the blue one to touch my horn with hers and waving away in thought. It felt as if the recharge ritual was back in full effect. An invigorating force flowed into my body - if you could call it that - into the dream world, causing me to straighten up and thrust my chest out. My legs stopped to tremble with fatigue. Even the annoying taste of blood in my mouth was finally gone! “It’s all I can give.” The alicorn cut the link off, smiling awkwardly. “It’s fine. At least I can drag my own legs.” I bared my teeth in answer. “Well, let’s rip someone's head, shall we?” The companion nodded, shaking slightly. “There's a short way through here, but it's narrow... Shall we go straight?” I glanced at the alicorn. “You know the place better than I do." She shook her head in reply. “Lead us where you think it should be.” Okay... I sucked teeth and looked back and forth thoughtfully, but I moved toward the narrow technical corridor. With two of us, even if not in the best shape, we can cope in any case, so now it is important not to let the beast escape. In case the nightmare prepared exactly that. The staccato sound of our footsteps echoed faintly between the bare concrete walls. We'll go to the intersection, and we'll probably split up, hit from different directions. We'll try to play bamboozle: one attacks, and when the enemy's attention shifts to her, she takes cover, and the other attacks. We just have to figure out how to coordinate... Although... Man, that's no good. He's got more reaction speed than we do, he'll catch us... Well, what then? An amorphous purple and black figure suddenly appeared at the end of the corridor. Fuck. It turns out he hasn't been escaping. I frantically put up my shield, realizing I won't make it in time. The creature opened its jaws, and a pulsating sphere, so black that it seemed to absorb the light around it, rushed into my chest through the narrow corridor. Damn-damn-damn! A wall on the left. A wall on the right. The ceiling is high, but there’s no space to open my wings... Fuck, what do I do?!.. It’s too late! It’s gonna!.. Fu-u-ucking he-el!.. “NIGHTMARE!!!” The telekinesis jerk was so strong that I almost got my skin inside out. My back hit the ceiling, knocking me out of breath. My head was saved by the helmet, but the tip of the horn still got some, and I was now clenching my teeth and feeling the tears in my eyes from the pain. My legs were scorched with the... breath of the Abyss - I don't know what it felt like. The shell rumbled beneath me... A short cry of pain stunned me with understanding. ...and hit Luna, who was following. The telekinesis disappeared, and I collapsed to the floor from a height of nearly four meters, knocking the rest of the air out of my lungs. My legs, my ribs, my chest - my everything was hit. The pain was brutal... Blood was oozing from under the skin that has been scraped by the encounter with the floor. My wing got some as well - a reflexive attempt to open them when falling in a high but narrow corridor only made it worse. Out of the corner of my eye, I managed to notice Luna collapsing on the floor - and, blinking, disappearing from the dream before she could fall. Bitch! Fucker! Fucking pig!.. Coughing, I struggled up the wall to my trembling legs. The nightmare still stood at the end of the corridor. The attack has cost him a lot of strength - he's practically halved in size, only about a quarter of his original strength, and looks kind of... disheveled and unfocused after his attack. And Luna has recharged me... “You know what, motherfucker?” I wheezed to the parasite. “You were telling stories, that it was necessary to absorb others, and I didn't agree... But now I'll make an exception for your sake.” I lifted the shield and limped forward. A line of black smudges crashed helplessly against the dimly gleaming film. “Ain't no power at all, sucker?” The nightmare, already a little flattened and coming to its senses, disappeared silently around the corner. “Run, run. I know where you are running to.” Turning around in the narrow corridor not without difficulty, I moved towards the breach, for a moment holding my gaze on the anthracite-black stain on the floor and walls, where Luna has met the killing attack of the creature by her own body... ...destined for me. Damn it, Luna! I don't... Yes, hell, I can't stand her, but... but I haven't been dreaming of her dead a while either, to be honest with myself. She... Damn... I hope she’ll be alright... “Thanks, blue one.” I whispered. “You're an idiot, but thanks...” ... The nightmare and I arrived at the breach at the same time. Behind the breach, which resembled an open mouth with rotten rebar teeth sticking out crookedly and sideways, the fog of the "neutral space" of the dream world was graying. The stone crumble creaked and crunched beneath the hooves. In the corner of the compartment were piled the decaying remains of some furniture. They were mixed up with ancient Soviet gas masks, gnawed on by mice and rats, hung some rusty pipes, decorated with a once massive red valve, wires winding along the wall, going into the same rusty panel with a torn door, which was lying on the floor under it. Under the ceiling there was a light bulb hanging from a wire, blinking occasionally. Somehow it was a brand-new, modern LED... Let me leave. I’ll serve you. I shook my head, trying to shake understanding out of it, and grinned crookedly. “Scary, isn't it, bitch? Don't worry. It wouldn't take long.” I rushed forward, reinforcing my shield. The beam stroked across the shield, and the nightmare seemed to drift to the side, evading a possible retaliatory attack. I retaliated with a volley of rotten planks and no less rotten gas masks, throwing them at the side of my opponent with my telekinesis. It could do very little damage... but it was enough to distract it, giving me an extra half an instant to get closer. With the sound of a broken string, a widening web of “Shock Net” ripped from my horn and touched the floor with its edge, instantly and senselessly digging into it. Damn it! Closer!!! The nightmare, apparently suspecting something, tried to break the distance, but was grabbed by both front legs and strung up in the air for a much-needed second. More!.. A second web ripped from the horn and finally pulled into the creature's body, causing it to arch and collapse to the floor, its mouth open in a mute cry of pain. Even though the enemy had no nerves to be affected by this spell, in this world such a small thing was unimportant. What mattered was the concept behind the spell, what it represented in essence. Pain. And the nightmare felt that pain perfectly. I froze for a moment, feeling my sides shake, and the nasty ache of my horn and... everything else. I could hardly swallow the thickened saliva with the taste of blood. I looked at the monster that was squirming on the floor. I squeezed it with my telekinesis, taking away its mobility. “I've promised you, that you are going to be absorbed? Well, welcome to the dinner.” Understanding of fear was my answer. I smiled and opened my jaws. *** “Ph-h... Fu-uck... A-a-a... Kh...” Reality greeted me with deafening pain and burning all over my body. For a few seconds I tried to remember how to breathe. My head throbbed with an abominable pain, my horn burned, every bruised place in the dream world burned, my tongue stuck to my palate, and a salty crust of dried tears pulled down the fur of my cheeks. For at least a minute I laid and stared dumbly at the ceiling, trying to come to my senses. The large crystal that hung from the chains there was dim and dull. The darkness was only lighted by a single oil lamp for some reason - though my eyes were more or less content with that. Even the air seemed to burn out, becoming heavy and... empty. There was no longer any sense of magic all around the room. But there was a feeling that, despite my condition, I was the one with the most power. The power buzzed in my arteries and veins, causing the burning sensation. I think I overate someone... I didn't absorb the whole nightmare, because I suddenly felt... guilty? I had a feeling that this way of gaining power was better suited to some demons, so it was just... disgusting to finish the job. So, after eating a little more than half of the beating nightmare in my grasp, I made him my servant. I forbade him to come near any alicorn or foal, and threw the vanquished and hopefully recruited enemy out of the bunker. This motherfucker was called Tantabas, by the way... Yeah. I sighed, and tried to brush away the mane that was getting into my eyes. Tried again. I lifted my eyes up indignantly - and stared in surprise at the purple starry sky. I caught it, touched it, trying to figure out how it felt. I don't damn know! Ah, Sweetie will be upset... Finally, the pain and burning subsided a little, and I looked around a bit, regaining my senses... ...and I jumped up from my bunk. I stumbled across the furrow in the floor, which has been cut on the place of the ritual drawing, as if it has been pierced by acid. Keeping my balance with difficulty, I came closer to Luna's bedside. Fuck, fuck, fuck... I frantically pressed my ear to the alicorn's chest. Boom... Boom... Shi-i-it... She's alive... I could hardly swallow the lump in my throat. But alive, to put it mildly, barely. The heart is pounding barely audibly, the shallow breath is barely heard... And the mare herself looked as pale as a ghost. She's definitively unconscious, pale as hell, with a faded mane that resembled straw, with trails of dried blood from her nose and lips, with her eyelids ajar. The latter frightened me like hell for some reason. “Yeah, blue one, you ain't dying today...” I hurriedly lifted the alicorn onto my back, cringing from the phantom pain in my ribs. I opened the safe door, squeezed through, trying not to touch Luna, and frantically looked around the room of the magic laboratory for a normal bed or at least a couch. A table for small rituals, a drawing board, a bookcase... Nothing, shit! Shit! I pulled both bunks out of the spell chamber, ripped them from as if slightly burned stone. Then I put them together, writhing with the pain in my horn and burning all over my body, welded the legs together to keep them that way, put barely alive Princess on the resulting bed. I peeked out into the corridor. “A medic to the magic lab! Immediately!!!” My voice rippled through like a shock wave, doubling as I used the Canterlot Voice. I got back, looked at Luna. Alas, but I can't do anything else. I’m almost zero at medicine... “Everything is gonna be alright, do you hear me, Lu? The doctor will come and give you an injection, and we'll dance at your wedding! And drink to our victory!” I chuckled hysterically through my tears and collapsed onto the floor, feeling the last of my strength to do anything is going out of me. That’s all. I’m done. I can't do anything else. What could be done is done. Luna will be resuscitated - is she an alicorn or what? And Tia will finally be able to sleep in peace. And have good dreams. We have won. Everything will be good now. 54. The Fruits of The VictoryAuthor's Note "You have won! It's time for you to meet your reward." Original author's note. 54. The Fruits of The Victory I don't know how long I've been lying on the floor. My eyes were closed, I was listening to the sickening squeak in my ears and the measured pulse of my heart, wrinkling from the pain from time to time. I was tired as hell, and probably more mentally than physically. I really could have stayed there today. Idiot, damn it... I didn't think the creature would be so strong already, I underestimated it... Though how was I to judge accurately? Even Tantabas, despite his immense amount of stuff, ran from me like fire, until I locked him in a box with nowhere to go. And that's when he showed me that nightmares, though they try to run away and hide first, can fight if there's no other way out. If the ritual hadn't given me the strength to last this long, and if Luna hadn't come to help me in person after the end of the ritual fuel, I don't know what would have happened to me. “Blue idiot.” I mumbled, sluggishly moving my tongue. “He could’ve killed you there, ay...” I should check her, I should... Nah. No strength to do so. I should. And where are the fucking medics?.. What the hell is going on out there? Some unhealthy buzzing... With a groan and a weak curse, I opened my eyes and scraped myself off the floor with difficulty. I turned around to examine Luna. Oh, she looks bad... Is she even breathing?.. I was about to put my ear to the alicorn's chest, but I was interrupted by the door suddenly swinging open and a trio of guardsmen pouring in. The mice looked... hunted and, I'd say, frightened. “Great Nightmare! You have to leave, we won't be able to stay any longer!” The vanilla-colored mare in the armor of the forewoman officer of the Moon Shield Wing practically begged, and, seeing my bewilderment, hastily explained: “Queen Celestia, in contempt of our great mother, Luna, has appeared without her invitation and has decided to enter her domain by force, and is now on her way here! We... We cannot endure her fury, mistress. Forgive us!..” The forewoman fell onto her knees and downed her head low. Fucking hell. What's.. What is she doing? Why is she?.. Damn... What is actually going fucking on?.. Fuck, it's really important to deal with this now!.. “Get up, rest, clean up." I muttered, straining to listen to the muffled sounds coming from behind the front door. “We're not going anywhere - Luna needs medical aid immediately.” “What?.. The Great mother is wounded?!” The leader of the small squad rose up with fear. “Yes.” I glanced worriedly at the very bad blue and ducked down, still intending to listen to her heartbeat again. “Got hurt in a...” The door flew rattling into the room, knocking one of the guardsmen down along the way. The stone crumbs whipped painfully across my body. “The Queen is he-e-a-a-a!..” The second guard, who has turned towards the dust-covered breach with the forewoman, received a bright blue beam in his chest and collapsed to the floor. From the cloud of dust emerged the first soldiers of the Solar Guard. The unicorn, who has apparently used the beam, flinched and stumbled as he ran beside his fallen foe, frozen in indecision, his eyes wide open as he watched him writhing in pain at his feet. “We’ll protect the Great mother!” The forewoman yelled with tears in her voice, falling back to me and Luna. “You had to protect her earlier! And not from me!” Celestia's unexpectedly powerful voice seemed to overwhelm all other sounds. The snowy alicorn clad in her armor stepped through the settling dust. The pink eyes, contrasting against the graying eyelids, traced the room, lingered on me, squinted angrily, and froze on Luna. A moment later, Celestia darted forward like a train, getting the thestral out of her way by her own chest, and froze in terror in front of the bed. “Luna? Luna! Luna, no!!! LUNA!!!” Alicorn stood there like a pillar of salt, staring at her sister with her pupils narrowed into dots. Damn, apparently, she... Damn it, I have to calm her down, now! “Luna’s alive, but her...” “You promised me, Nightmare!!!” Celestia yelled, halting me mid-word with an unnatural sharp jerk towards me. The Princess's tears, which left smudges of mascara on her snow-white fur, gave a kind of eerie impression... “You... Luna... I... I...” She lowered her head hopelessly. There was a respectful silence around her grief, as if it made everything and everyone around her freeze. Damn it... I checked, Luna was alive! Maybe Princess just couldn't see it because of the burning emotions, or Luna... Or... Oh, fuck. Flames flickered across Tia's mane, and she twitched as if a shock wave swept through her fur, gasping for air and cocking her head in a jerky motion, staring wildly at me and igniting her horn. I flinched involuntarily: for a moment, it seemed for some reason that Celestia's eyes were glowing orange. Before I could open my mouth, my body burst into flames, as if fire was coursing through my veins at once. The burning sensation in my horn turned into a red-hot spike in my head. The pain was deafening. I couldn't even scream - not a gram of air was left in my lungs, which were cramped. I was already lying on the floor, and through my tears I could see Tia snarling at the frightened guards, gesturing furiously, giving them orders. They run around, some run out into the corridor, some twist the thestrals. The forewoman, who had jumped up from the floor, tried to fight back, but gets a beam and falls back down... Before I fell into the merciful darkness, I saw Princess turning her head towards me as she looked at Luna, rewarding me with a scorching look in my eyes. And the flames ran through her mane again. *** "Good deeds are punishable” - is it? With a sigh, I glanced again at the place where I have recently woken up. Two walls, two bars instead of the other two walls, allowing me to see through the cell from any angle. The bars are almost as big as a foot, larger than the space between them. Behind one of the bars is a corridor and a guard post, and behind the other is a small cage of similar bars that serves as an airlock. In the far corner is a closet with a toilet and, next to it, a sink with a mirror above it - all in full view, so you can peek at my face. And showers seem to be a luxury for people like me now... The bed. Enough to accommodate an alicorn with difficulty, but no more than that. A table, a stool, and a bookshelf with a couple dozen shabby tabloid novels. A quill, an inkwell, and a small stack of blank paper. A shabby rug to create anything remotely resembling comfort. The light seems to be only natural, from a small barred window, and from the "light bulbs" that shine upon the bored guards at the post. That's all, by and large. Oh, no, there's also, of course, a fashion accessory on the horn, gently filling its coils with some elastic, slightly sticky stuff on the inside, having a slick, sloping shape on the outside, and therefore completely unremovable by any reasonable effort without help from the outside. Now that's it for sure. At least they didn't bother with any other collar chains, probably counting on the sufficient reliability of the magical restraints and bars... Well, a great place to die from the boredom. There’s not even a clock here! I was thinking, of course, about how it has come to this in the first place... I chuckled unhappily, rolling over onto my other side and staring at the wall. “How it has come” - quite understandable thing. The fucking nightmare had rocked Tia's psyche enough that one serious shock was enough to make her go off the slicer for good. And that shock was Luna and her condition. It's not unreasonable to mistake her for dead in that situation - and yet I hope she's still alive and being pumped out there now. Why so - I don't fucking know, honestly! But as it turned out, for all my dislike of the blue one, I didn't want her to die. And I certainly didn't want her to die in a situation where her death guarantees to bring my own, because considering who seemed to be at the helm in the snowy alicorn's body instead of Tia... I hope our sweet Sunny gets her body back somehow. Because if the pyromaniac stays, no one will be happy at all, and I, as the one accused in using the ritual, that sucked the power from Luna, is in the lead. Thanks, as you might call it, to my brand-new starry mane amidst the monstrous exhaustion of the blue one... What the hell is so great about my luck?.. I sighed and rolled over onto my other side again, now staring at the beaten carpet. So that's it... Straining our horse asses with Luna, trying to tear the head off the nightmare so it wouldn't drip on Tia's brains like a company of space marines. All that for she, having assessed the loss, would do what we were trying so hard to prevent - go all guns blazing. Abyss... But who knew that she was being harassed not only "from the outside," but probably "from the inside," too? Much, of course, became clearer, but it did not help at all. Especially in a situation where nothing else depends on you, and of all opportunities you have only to sit and wait. The damned ring even work with the world of dreams, sending me to the very beginning of the path, when you understand everything, but you cannot do anything! If some nightmare gets to me, all I can do is cuss it out, and that's not right away, but only when I wake up... I sighed wistfully, scraping myself off the bed, cringing from the disgusting burning-tickling-tensing sensation almost all over my body, and walked around the cell, stretching my legs. It wasn't that small, by the way - eighteen or twenty squares at a glance. I am, however, also far from human compactness: I occupy about one and a half of it simply by standing still in place. And with wings, it would probably be all three if I spread it out. And that's if you count the area honestly, not if you square the silhouette, because that would be... I shook my head. I walked over to the bars, wincing because of the way the bars were put everywhere in my eyes, and looked out into the extended part of the corridor adjacent to the cell. I was tempted to call it an "atrium," where the guards were seated. They’ve brought as many as four, though it seemed to me that all the cells here, no matter how many there were, except for mine, were empty. Three guards, a mare and two stallions, were playing something with a slight boredom, seated at the table. The fourth one, a pale orange pegasus with bright blue hair, flatly refused to join in. He was rebuking his colleagues for neglect, levity, and violation of regulations after every offer to tag along, and continued to stare at me through the bars almost unremittingly. I met his gaze with mine, smiled to bare my teeth and snapped them, causing the pegasus to flinch and take a step backward. His croup comically against the wall. A new one. I chuckled briefly and shook my head, and continued to stagger leisurely around the cell. Soon, though, I was in luck: the world around me began to change. I heard footsteps from the door next to the guards, which seemed to lead to the cellar, and it rattled open, letting in the new faces. Shining Armor was the first, and I raised an eyebrow in mild surprise, followed by the familiar pale pink, short unicorn mare with a striped mane that seemed to come in four or five shades from pale blue to radical turquoise. Medical bags were slung over the colored pony's back. Aqua Spectrum, had been observing me on matters of magical health for some time. “The Players” finding Armor in front of them, jumped up like being hit by boiling water. They made me chuckle and their vigilant rookie colleague give the trio the "I told you!" look. After listening to the confused report, the Lieutenant promised everyone to cancel their leaves and more duties by a long, heavy stare, after which he said to the penalized soldiers: “At ease. Look around.” He moved towards me with Aqua. “Howdy, Lieutenant. You haven't come by me for so many nights...” I smiled at him cutely. “When is the wedding?” “Not today.” He answered simply, giving me a frown. “You have to be examined by a medpony. Without tricks, Nightmare. And without jokes.” “I will wail soon without jokes.” I mumbled under my breath. “Let her do her job - I’ll try to not complicate her job.” “The keys!” The unicorn ordered, turning around and looking at me with a frown again. “I’m serious, Nightmare.” I silently glanced at him and went deep into the cell, waving my tail defiantly in farewell. You will not get another answer, Lieutenant, I do not feel guilty enough for another answer! I've been honestly cutting my veins to get to the starters, risking my skin, not seeing Rarity for half a month. And I haven't seen the others for who knows how long, and here's the result. I'm sitting in a cage with all kinds of smart asses poking me with a stick: “Are you normal? Are you going to behave good?” Fuck your horses, citizens - this is my last word! And Tia, damn... “You promised!” I promised - and I did it! Luna has been hurt by other's deeds, not mine! Who is insured in battle in general - it happened as it happened, it's good that we are still alive!... I hope we' re still alive... Yeah, Tia didn't know - you could’ve asked, damn you! No, damn it! I... Just... It’s a pity! Fairless! And she's gone to who fucking knows way... And these now!.. How long would it be before I'm considered as an enemy of the people by my acquaints? Damn it! It’s been fucking hell without end since the day I had woken up as a mare in this good-bloody-childish tale!.. I frowned as I looked at the movement at the airlock grate. The newcomer, who had opened the outer door, was now anxiously trying to lock it back, with Shining and his companion inside. He soon succeeded, and the pegasus, wiping the sweat from his forehead, staggered to his "playing" partners in relief. He received a threatening shout to his back, pressed his ears and made everyone laugh at him, coming back to the door and pulling out and taking the forgotten key from the keyhole. “Kindergarten...” Armor, rolling his eyes, magically took another key and opened the door of my cell. Entering, he cautiously hid behind his shield and started to shine with his horn at the ready. Aqua slipped in as well, trying to habitually be as smaller and more invisible as possible. No matter how long we’ve been chatting - she hasn't gotten used to me anyway, this aura's doctor and the opener of chakras. It's like a bomb squad with an unexploded nuclear bomb, for God's sake... Even if I wanted to, what would I do here? “G-greetings, Nightmare... Wow, it's even more beautiful up close!..” She said a nervous hello, and stared at my mane in fascination. Armor, with a grudging hum, looked at me grudgingly. “Hi, doc.” “S... Sorry.” The pony drooped, unfreezing. “Well... Phew... Do you, e-e... Do you have any complaints?” She asked in her own style shyly. “I do. I, Acquired Princess, can't be alone and can't escape the others’ gazes even when sleeping!” I rolled the complaint out with a stone face. “It’s ridiculous!” I don't even know how it should be. But I can always cite the age and the old times. “I’m sorry, Your Grace.” Shining made a barely visible bow, forcing the unicorn do the same reflexively. “Her Highness Princess Celestia checked the cells before your imprisonment in person - and, despite your title, ordered to confine you here. We cannot do anything about that. Sorry.” The guard’s voice had like zero grams of regret. “And Aqua Spectrum meant your state of health.” Imagine that - I knew that! Dumbass, damn it. Those were the Lunar ones, this is a Solar one... I did not answer the guardsman, but looked down at him silently, and turned to the embarrassed medpony. “The condition... It feels like all the energy channels are burning to the last one. It is tolerable, it is possible to get used to it, but it is disgusting to the point of impossibility and all over the body at once. The horn is aching. The phantom pains, fortunately, have also almost subsided, so nothing else really bothers me. The only other thing is that I obviously need to eat.” “W-well, if the pain is tolerable, then you haven't burn them all. The energy channels...” The medpony walked around me timidly, shining her horn at me. “As far as I can tell, too much energy has gone through them. It's rare, usually there's just not enough reserve for that... To avoid making things worse, try not to use magic yet... Oh, I mean... Excuse me, Your Grace!” She laid down her ears. “For a more rapid and successful recovery, I would recommend this potion." The mare hurriedly dug out of her kit a couple of small vials and placed them on the table. "Three times a day, but I only have two with me so far. I tried to pick up the vial demonstratively with my telekinesis, grimaced, put my hoof to the jar, magnetized it, straining a bit and put it back. Familiar vials. Not a cheap brew, from what I've heard... I wonder if these ones are supposed to be provided to every hangman like me.... Shining cast a suspicious glance at the vials and the doctor in confirmation of my thoughts. “Here. Feel better...” The pony mumbled. “If there are no complaints left, then I'd like to go...” “Thanks doc. Patching me again... Goodbye, I guess?” “G-goodbye.” She squeaked in answer and went for the exit in a hurry. Shining looked suspiciously at me, too, and said the food would be here soon, so he followed. “Come on, go away.” I muttered to myself as the door rattled and the key jangled in the lock. I tried to magically pick up the vial from the table again. Cursing softly, I glued it to my hoof, and, twisting the cork with my teeth, poured the fizzy liquid into myself, which made my tongue feel a little numb. I couldn't find a trash can, so I just tossed the empty container and the cork behind the bars into the corridor. I ignored the guards' indignation and crouched on the bunk, facing the wall. The mood, already lousy, was rapidly rolling into the abyss. Well, to hell with it. And with me. With everyone. ... “Rar, you won't leave me, will you?” “I won't, Nighty.” I froze, trying to hold back the tears and feeling her heart beating. “N-never?” “Until I die.” She smiled a bit sadly with the edges of her lips. ... I opened my eyes, and, wiping away the tears with the tip of my wing, sighed tearfully. And a couple of hours later she flew away, leaving me to prepare for the final battle with evil... And upon the victory over it, I’ll be just decommissioned, and I’m risking to never see neither Rar, nor the others... The Ice Cream's visit left such a mark on my memory that I could fall into it, as I had fallen into memories about the Moon. Or I just wanted to do it so badly, I don't know. I wanted something... reassuring - but the memory of meeting my friend only served to wound my soul. Damn it... But I could not change over to the positive - my mind was full of strife and despondency. It’s bad, but... I remembered asking Rarity, as I continued that dialog, if she would agree to become an alicorn, with all the pros and cons of that decision. The answer was somewhat puzzling and surprising: Rar said yes in a flash, despite my clarification that she, an immortal, would have to bury her sister sooner or later, and her potential children as well... It was taken as... As if it were not her decision - as if it were fate. If you can be, you have to be, otherwise it's just wrong. And then the conversation crept towards the subject of death and the relationship to it. Ponies have a peculiar way of looking at this. They felt as if there were two deaths - as I divided by myself: the good one and the bad one. The good one took the pony when his time came, and the bad one took him before his time. So the attitude toward natural death from old age was simple and easy. Such is life, it comes to an end. It was a good one, filled with joys and sorrows, friends, events... Saying that I was shocked when Rar told me about Pinkie's farewell parties for such an occasion is not surprising at all. But yes, quiet, calm gatherings of family and friends, farewells, remembering good things. No condolence - there's nothing tied to it. The natural course of things... A very different matter was premature death by disease, in a catastrophe or accident, from an attack by some predatory creature - you got the point. The point was that the life that was supposed to go on was tragically cut short. Here were the condolences, the grief, the tears, and the parting without parties, in sadness and silence. So, as surprising as it is, Rar didn't even think of a no in this hypothetical case, I guess. And burying her sister... Well, if she died of old age because that is a natural course of things, well. I'm not sure, in fact, that if she had been faced with a real prospect, she would have agreed just as easily... I still had some doubts about her motivation, even though I was somewhat impressed by her certain positive attitude. But no matter how you feel about losses, they will still be losses, and it is unlikely that they will ever become painless. On the other hand, not killing yourself over them is also the right thing to do from a certain point of view?.. I remembered home, my parents, from there, from that life. What did I feel now? A light sadness, perhaps - and a willingness to move on. And maybe that's the right thing to do? They wouldn't want me to go and drink ‘till the end over the fact that they were no longer with me, would they? "They're no longer with me"... If you think about it, it sounds pretty selfish - too much "me"... "I don't have you anymore, I want you to come back, I feel bad"! The situation, however, is somewhat reversed here - it was me who had gone, but still, we lost each other. In fact, I hope they don't remember me very often anymore. They buried me, remembered me, and moved on, instead of being left to weep over the grave, fading away on their own. I certainly wouldn't want that. Let them go on living, not having forgotten how to laugh and smile, just as I should now. And still - I miss them, sometimes... I chuckled involuntarily at the image that came to mind: my mother, sighing and looking sadly at the tombstone, smiling sadly: “You're now in a better world”, but I've been coping here for weeks with my eyes goggling, and then I got in a jail... "A better world” - fucking yes!.. I sit behind bars and envy myself! Yeah, and thinking about death for an eternity... Who knows, maybe it will come for me tomorrow, in the form of Daybreaker as an executioner?.. I sighed and looked around the semi-darkened cell. The Sun had already been replaced in the sky by the Moon. Its dim light barely penetrated the window through the clouds, and only the low lights of the lamps under the ceiling of the guard post shone on me. The other four ponies were already languidly carrying on there, chatting quietly about everyday life, joking with each other, running to the storeroom for tea, gossiping about their colleagues and commanders, discussing the now-aged captain, who was on sick leave again and about to retire, and occasionally looking at me with a lazy, indifferent glance. “Some broke a limb - it's alright. If it dies - it just dies.” I muttered softly to myself, and, sighing again, I rolled over onto my other side, facing the wall, and hugged the skinny pillow tighter. And my friends back in Ponyville probably wouldn't even know until the end... That's... that's not fair. What a pity... 55. A Second As Eternity“Greetings, Nightmare.” Shining, as always, was straightened, clam and gloom. “You've finally decided to drop your boring Cadence and try to get my attention?” I don't know, but this dull expression on his face was almost irritating. I wanted to either make him laugh with my trolling, or just drive him mad... “No.” Damn, soldier, you can't do like this!.. “Well, what do you, then, so boring, want from an unwanted pony in this palace?” “And unwanted soul in this world.” I added to myself in thought and sighed quietly cringing. Yeah... I didn't really think so, but... Being behind bars was killing off any sprouts of good cheer in the most reliable way. And it was only the third day of my incarceration, what would happen to me in a week - it's scary to think about... “Aqua asked me to give you some medicine, she's very busy today." The unicorn took three vials from his bag and put them on the table between the rods of the bars. “And something more. Correction of treatment and new recommendations." He held out a sheet of paper to me. What? Which correction, why would?.. Barely reading the letters, I shut my mouth and hurried to shut up before I said something wrong. Aqua Spectrum has begun to write interesting "doctor's prescriptions"... What am I going to do with it after reading? I thoughtfully looked around the cell, my eyes quickly stopped on the bathroom. John will help. My peripheral vision noticed that Shining, having followed the direction of my gaze, nodded approvingly. “Thanks, Lieutenant.” Putting the sheet with text facing the table, I thanked Shining by a nod. “Sorry for acridity if you need it.” “I am as well, Nightmare. Goodbye.” Slowing, he nodded and said goodbyes, heading to the exit. For what, though?.. Nah, doesn't matter anyway. At least someone else is here on my side, and that's nice. I became a little embarrassed about my jokes, damn... Following the unicorn with a gaze, I got the "recipe” from the table and limped to the bed with three legs. I sat down and tried to pick up the edge of the sheet with my hoofkenesis at least somehow. I dropped it. Cursed a little. Got up to take it from the floor, sat down again. Damn it! Yeah, hoofkenesis is a powerful thing, sometimes it can even teach a thing or two to fingers. I once saw an earthpony at a typewriter... If you learn and practice, you'll have the hooves to do anything. But when you've been using telekinesis all your pony life... I'm gonna get out of here and buy myself a ring for my horn in a sex shop and practice it for a month! Without the horn, it's like having no... hands, yeah. With some difficulty, I finally got the damn sheet of paper together and was able to read the contents properly. The letter, written in Cadence's familiar handwriting, was definitely the best news I've heard in three endless days. Our amorous alicorn, having had several conversations with "Tia" over the days, was full of suspicion. She believed that I would not have done what she accused me of - that by threats and constant pressure on her sense of duty and guilt I had forced Luna to agree to a ritual that sucked her dry to regain my power, hoping to get rid of her, get rid of Tia, and finally take over Equestria. And Cadence even believed it at first, but after thinking and watching and listening, she somehow came to the conclusion that something was very wrong, which meant that Luna and I had failed, and that her aunt was now acting under the influence of nightmares and paranoia, unaware of what she was doing, and would surely regret it bitterly later. Anyway, to cut to the chase, Cadence, fearing for the possible actions of a ruler under influence against me, was preparing my escape. As I understand it, she successfully recruited Shining, too, though he didn't seem eager to help me at all... This is why he looked at me like a wolf - he surely knows the charges I’m accused of. All right, I’m satisfied with him helping me. I hope they're serious enough that the guard doesn't get doubts and suddenly go backwards. According to the plan outlined, I was to wait for help in the early morning before sunrise, though there were doubts that it would work: a plan B was also mentioned for breakfast and afterwards. For this plan there was an antidote in a vial with a deliberately crooked label... I hope it wouldn't come in handy. In the meantime, by and large, I had only to wait - and that wait was as unbearable as it was joyful. It looks like I'll be crying into Cadence's shoulder in the morning for not leaving me behind... “Miss?” I shuddered at the resounding thud on the bars very close by. “Are you alright? You've been looking at this recipe for about fifteen minutes - only your eyes are moving frantically...” I instantly felt a lump in my throat, and turned sharply towards the unicorn guard who seemed to be trying to peek at the sheet in my hooves. Good thing the angle was infinitely disadvantageous - the sheet was sideways to him, and there was a blank wall behind me. “Everything's good, just musing.” I panted, forcing my voice to sound plain. “I think what it will look like?” “What?” The stallion asked reflexively. “My death. I hope it will be spectacular enough and, for sure, widely publicized! My name will be remembered! The whole of Equestria will be talking about me!” “Y-yes, of c-course...” The guardsman flinched at my exalted, breathy voice, and backed away. “I... I won't disturb you...” Yeah-yeah, go away, curious monster... I followed him with a gaze and sighed quietly. Man, I wish I wouldn't get myself in trouble with this rant... Look at his colleagues, at their exchanging of gazes... I grabbed the paper securely with my hoofkenesis and scratched my left wing, invisible to the guard, as if in thought, and tried to hide the paper under it, pretending to put something in an urn. The trash can appeared at my very next breakfast after the bottle was thrown out - a miscalculation quickly realized... I got up and walked towards the bathroom. My heart was pounding, and I had the feeling that everyone had noticed, understood, and was glaring at me. It was hard not to turn around. When I found myself in the cramped closet of the bathroom, I cursed quietly - almost dropped it! - I pulled the letter out from under my wing-it wasn't sticking out, I hope, because I hadn't checked!.. Then I torn it into four parts - this was my limit with the hooves - and sent it into the toilet. In a couple of minutes the water rumbled, carrying the soaked paper down the drain. That’s all... I got out of the closet with an independent expression, washed my front legs in the sink, splashed on my muzzle, and stared in the mirror. The look, which seemed somehow dreary even to myself yesterday, burned with anticipation. I frowned and scratched for real. I sighed. When I’m out of here, the first thing I’ll do is shower! These bastards tied me up right after the fight, when they could've just wrung me to get rid of the sweat... If I had the old mane, I would have had it in a tangle, but now - it just flies, I’m and it is okay with that. It’s just not cozy to look at her, damn it... Yeah... Nah, when all this bullshit is over - spa, full services! I want to wash away all the dirt and the unhappy events. With Rar, with Pinkie, with Flutty... And I’ll call Cadence in. And Tia, if she's okay! We'll relax, gossip like friends... After chuckling merrily at my reflection for the last time and wiping away my mane, I looked at the barred window, through which the sunlight was streaming in past the bars, and dust particles were dancing in it. Tomorrow is gonna be a hard day. All that is left is to endure this one. *** Sitting behind the table in the semi-darkness of the night, which was dispersed by the slightly dimmed light of the magical lamps at the guard post, I thoughtfully drew letters, numbers, and all kinds of abstract figures on a sheet of paper with a pencil that I had borrowed from the watch commander on the second day of my imprisonment. I can't get tired of being amazed by my eyes. The lighting is like a night-light in the opposite corner of the room, and I don't even feel uncomfortable looking at pencil lines on the paper in such scant light... I took it away from the sheet and shook a little, relaxing my tense leg, and peered skeptically at the result. It was as if I was trying to draw a straight line in “Paint” with a pencil or paintbrush tool. I look at this mess now - and I can't get away from the thought that it's really easier and better to do it with my mouth, honestly... I put off the pencil, stretched, crunching my back and wings, waved my front legs, restoring the suddenly lost balance, and leaned on the table with a clatter. Oh, damn it!.. I've been here too long... This is how you're tied to the clocks, damn it! The impossibility of knowing the exact time made me want to climb the wall, but, alas, all I could find out about the time in my situation was that it was night and the Sun was not yet up. At first, I couldn't sleep half the night after I got the news - I kept thinking in my head about what would happen next. I spit at it and got up. Did I sleep at all - I don't know. The night passed in a kind of fog of half-forgetful-semi-slumber. Now, after a clearly fucked night, I was sitting on pins and needles, waiting to be rescued and killing time by trying to practice hoofkenesis. It was... well, like a kindergartener's, no better. Damn... In fact, the pony's hooves, especially those of the earthponies, were quite a tool. Massage ponies did not do worse than people - that's for sure, I can say it from personal experience. And hoofkenesis was also able to attract many objects, including gluing and ungluing the necessary ones selectively, affect the surface point by point and non-uniformly, act through obstacles, and create vibrations, like Pinkie's family in the canon, who were crushing rocks with their bare hooves... Even I was able to rotate the pencil in the hoof along its plane - even though shitty - and the tougher ones were able to deflect it significantly away from the plane, which in the long run could fully replace the human hand. The only problem was that even for the earthponies, such a mastery of hooves was rare and required much work and training, but it was even harder for pegasi and, especially, unicorns by nature. And given that the first ones had wings that could in some places replace hooves, and the others had a horn, not many of them bothered with it. The earthponies, too... If they hold on to it, that's fine, and they live their whole lives drawing with a pencil in their mouths and with spoons with a contact pad on the handle... No, listen, I'll give myself some more training in living with a ring on the horn, that's for sure. I don't think those walls would have held Limestone for more than half an hour... I want to do that too! Just in case. Now I don't have my horn - and I’m almost incapacitated. Damsel in distress, damn it... I chuckled reflexively. It's practically a classic of a pony love-adventure novel: languishing in a tower, waiting for a beautiful mare to save me. If I had been a stallion, I would have been waiting for two mares who turned from rivals to inseparable friends over the course of the adventure, and that would've been a hundred percent coincidence... But damn it, where’s this pretty Princess, ay?.. I glanced around reflexively, and, once again, unable to find anything that might indicate the current time, I sighed and stared gloomily at the sheet of paper. Sitting, drawing - what else could I do? Closing my eyes, I listened to my heartbeat. Damn. I hope she got this. I don't want the executioner to come to me before the cavalry arrives! ... The footsteps sounded outside the front door, causing the overworked, hungry and half-asleep guards to get a wriggle on, and it forced me to leave my bunk, where I was trying to get some sleep, and my heart to beat faster, bringing adrenaline to my body. The breakfast has been delivered. It has been an eternity, damn it! I want to devour as hell! I hope it's late only because of Cadence's lauded Plan B, because otherwise I don't even know... It's too bad if otherwise. After sitting on pins and needles all morning until sunrise and with a very anxious feeling that the main plan was probably over, I tried to get some sleep before breakfast, comforting myself that it was not yet evening. I just had to wait for plan B. I even got the chance to sleep a bit in snatches, but the lack of any movement became more and more stressful the further it went. The familiar guards - three guys and a girl, including the orange rookie pegasus - were also pretty exhausted, though for a slightly different reason. Awaiting this late breakfast, they never had a shift, and the guardsmen, even tired of trying to call for the karma of heaven on the heads of their colleagues and commanders, which had left them, were just gloomily silent and trying to not fall asleep. They were already given night time, and even earlier than usual, having lengthened the duty by a couple of hours, apparently for the relaxation at the post. And it stretched for another couple of hours... I really hope it's been done on purpose, with some aims to be met... The unicorn maid with big sad eyes who delivered the food, meanwhile, arranged fresh vegetable stew with potatoes and other delicacies floating and spreading appetizing aroma on the table of the guards. In the same time, she was fending off their questions at the same time. They received a brief response, "A small fire happened in the kitchen," and immediately forgot about their problems, wondering if anyone was hurt. After exchanging a few more words with the guards and wishing them a pleasant appetite, the maid, with a return of gratitude, came to me, opened the "embrasure"-receiver and, after saying hello and apologizing for the delay, began to carefully move the plates from her cart to my table. “Move your sheet, please... Thank you.” A plate of the same stew fell almost silently in place of the paper I'd picked up. A salad, bread, tea, and some gingerbread took its place next to it. “Have a nice meal. And don't forget to take your medicine before the food, please.” I stared at the mare dazedly. Why would she... A-a... I think I got it... “Thanks for the care.” I smiled at her, hoping the smile didn't turn into a smirk of anticipation in the process, and exhaled softly in relief. We're still rock ‘n’ rollin’... “Goodbye.” The pony smiled a bit, nodded in response and moved back, rattling the empty cart on the joints of stone on the floor, raking from the back of the guardhouse the pile of dirty dishes that has been there since dinner, already washed by one of the guards, who lost to the others in a kind of "rock-paper-scissors", but it's played on their ears. The rookie, by the way, was lucky in this group, and during all these couple or so times, that I've seen him on the duty, he hasn't washed the dishes even once... I hummed at the vicissitudes of fate. I followed the unicorn with a gaze, that hid behind the door and was rattling with empty plates on her cart. I looked at the table. Well, I was told that the treatment from the “doctor” was adjusted... If they say “before the food” - it means before the food, right?.. Going to the bookshelf, on which I kept my bottles, I took a bottle with a badly glued label and, taking the cork off, I drank the astringent sour liquid in one go. Here it is... The treatment is over - I can eat. I feel that next time I might not get the chance soon... ... The stew was a crackerjack. It cracked all the guards, who were already sticking matches in their eyes, and now, fifteen minutes after the meal, they were already asleep the first places they could rest on. The water hummed in the back room as the newcomer, who has finally lost a game - Flash - was washing plates. He was also washing mine: I ignored the guards' hints that I had a sink in here, too. You've got nothing to do here, and I’m... Thinking here, by the way! And besides, you have horns, wings and hooves that don't all grow out of your croup, unlike... After listening to the steady hum of the water for a minute, I stretched my neck, trying to peek into the back room. Did he pass out in there, or what?.. As if in tune with my thoughts, a silence fell, but no one came out of the back room. He was probably just lounging around on some shabby couch, or whatever it was. Aren't you ashamed, Flash? The colleagues are forced to overcome: two stallions sitting with their heads on the table, and a mare standing, swaying to the rhythm of breathing. They kicked 'em out to stand, chauvinists, how did they dare!.. I chuckled quietly at the thought. But it's interesting, of course, that ponies can sleep standing up, too... When cautious footsteps sounded outside the door, I thought I was about to explode from anticipation, tension, and a gradually growing panic. There didn't seem to be much blood in the adrenaline rushing through my veins with my heart beating furiously, so I could hardly contain a completely girlish squeal at the sight of a pink alicorn with a multicolored purple-pink-cream mane, peering warily into the aisle to assess the situation. Cadence! I wasn't wrong! Finally!.. After carefully checking the guards and correcting one of them, who was gradually slipping out of his chair, the mare nodded hello and disappeared into the back room, apparently making sure that everyone has been neutralized and finding everything she needed and heading to me. The sound of the key turning in the keyhole has never sounded so sweet to me. So... Medicine taken, food eaten, bathroom is used, washed up to the best of my ability. The slept that has been taken is that great, but I can't do anything ‘bout this. I’m ready. With a low rattle, the second door swung open. “Cadence!” I screamed with a whisper, grabbing the alicorn in an embrace. “You came after all! Didn't leave me!..” Tears started to hastily appear in my eyes. I’m not lonely! “Greetings, Nightmare.” She greeted me quietly with an apologizing voice. “I understand, but... Get a grip, please. We don't have much time.” “Y-yes, of course.” I stepped back and swallowed a lump in my throat. “Just... Oh, you've managed to bring even them?” My bags were thrown over the mare's back. “A pleasant opportunity had appeared.” She handed them over to me with a smile. I looked at her meaningfully. “Oh, sorry! I’m!..” The ring on my horn was enveloped in a blue cloud of magic. After nearly half a minute, it finally clicked open, allowing Cadence to remove it with a sigh of relief. I could not stand it and immediately lit the horn, noting that the potions really helped me well. There was almost no burning - I pumped a drop of energy into it, which finally did not dissipate uselessly into nothing when it reached the ring, but formed into a structure and flashed a dim glow at the tip of the horn. “Thanks!” I squeezed the mare in my embrace again, breathing in the light caramel smell coming from her mane with pleasure. Damn! I might not stink like a cat from a garbage dump - I don't know why ponies take so long to get dirty - but it's like... I haven't showered in five days, so... “Sorry...” “Don't mention it, Nightmare. Happy to help.” Caddie smiled, lowering her eyes. “We have to go.” “Yeah, of course.” I tried to get back to a serious sentiment. The bags were routinely manipulated onto my shoulders, and the remaining vial of medicine went into them. It had, after all, been given to me, so why should it go to waste? - and I headed for the exit from the cell. Freedom. 56. For Your FriendsAuthor's Note "No one has greater love than this, to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. Gospel of John, ch. 15, vr. 13" Original author's note. 56. For Your Friends The clatter of four pairs of hooves echoed through the empty corridor. Not particularly fancy, not particularly large and high, illuminated only by lamps underground corridor led to where rarely a foot of an aristocrat stepped: a dungeon, some technical rooms, one of the armory ... Despite the presence of the latter, there were no guards on the way. Strange... “How did you and Shining only have enough power to even get everyone away from the arsenal?” I was immediately impressed by the massive doors, unguarded by anyone, with a sign that said so. Maybe it's a standard of life here - ponies, damn them... “Princess Celestia ordered the gathering of everyone in the throne room. I suppose she wasn't referring to those on duty, but Shining saw fit, in his current area of responsibility, to interpret that instruction as directly as possible.” Contrary to expectation, Cadence did not smile at the ingenuity of her future groom, but only turned even more sullen. “A good way to win some time for us...” I grinned, wondering how the desperate lieutenant was going to keep his position after that. No, if by the guards’ words their captain had gone away for some time, then there’s no one to stop Shining... But if he returns - it will be hell loose. “By the way Cadence... Why is this gathering happening?” "She...” My co-conspirator drooped for a moment. “The day before yesterday, my aunt summoned the Keepers of the Elements here. I don't think it takes much guessing... There was some delay that made her extremely angry, but I'm guessing the meeting today is related to their arrival. Princess was going to meet them in person - perhaps soon or right now. I don’t know.” Holy shit... It looks like they wanted to execute me with pathos and in front of a big crowd... What a cocky bastard, ay!.. “I don't think it threatened me much." I chuckled. “I'm sure half of the Elements would refuse to participate. Or, at the very least, they would need a very good reason and proof. Or... Damn, how is Luna doing?” I stumbled at the thought, reflexively braking my companion with my telekinesis at the base of her tail, causing her to stop and turn to me with a cringy face. “She's got a lot, Nightmare. Let’s go, I’ll tell you on the way, we don't need to lose time.” She moved on again. “Yeah, of course...” I mumbled, moving like a stern wave. I don't know why, but knowing that "got a lot" was not "Luna is dead" made me feel so much better. This blue idiot is still alive! That’s good. That’s good... “The poor dear has only recently regained consciousness and is still very weak. The medponies think she'll be without magic for at least a month, due to severe exhaustion and severe damage to her magical channels, and... Admittedly, if I hadn't visited her after I woke up, I would have taken my aunt's word about you for sure." Caddie sighed guiltily. “But the first thing I heard from Luna was that you were innocent, and only after making sure that the sudden loss of consciousness wouldn't interrupt her now on the most important thing, she told me a little more. You're real heroes, and I'm sorry that... that's how it turned out.” “You mean, if the meeting wasn't there, you and everyone would have left me behind bars until the end?” I asked with a kind of morbid, hysterical curiosity, wishing I could see her eyes. “Forgive me, Nightmare, but..." Cadence paused for a few seconds, hanging her head. “I've known aunt Tia personally for about thirty years, and she's never once given a single reason to question her word or decision. Not a single one.” “Yeah, against that background...” I hummed sadly, feeling a painful prick somewhere deep inside. “And Luna then?..” “Even if you really are guilty and she was just protecting you, it's a clear sign that she doesn't hold a grudge and doesn't wish it back on you. So to punish you so easily and harshly would not be quite fair. And she didn't just hold a grudge - she clung to me and wouldn't let me go until I promised to save you, Nightmare. I... I couldn't say no to her.” “Really...” I mumbled, slowing my pace involuntarily. Luna, abyss, what are you?.. What do I have to do with you?!.. Thanks, I guess, but... Damned horse, fucking hell... “Nightmare, let’s hurry up, please!” The alicorn called me. I nodded mechanically and took a step forward, but then I cursed softly, tripping over the step and getting an indignant look in return for these words. Stairs. At last the basement was over... After scaring off a couple of maids who were chatting nicely behind a decorative column, we went up to the first floor, to a vast and high, ornate corridor. The Sun's rays played merrily through the colored stained-glass windows on the smooth pinkish marble of the floor. At a quick pace, almost at a trot, we passed another group of servants who were watching us with anxious whispers, and we glided past three repairmen, stomping somewhere with a ladder and a set of bags and spatulas... The guards were still absent: unsupervised Armor with his free interpretation put it to a great use. As I followed the colorful tail of the Princess of love, I cast a thoughtful glance at the huge windows. In fact, here it was, an escape. I take out the window, jump out, and then the wings would do the job. Simple and reliable... I sighed, quickening my pace to catch up with the alicorn, that went forward during the time of my short thoughtfulness. I can't walk away like that. I mean, I can, yeah... But what would happen to Tia? I could try to calm myself down with the hopes, that she'd "get over it," but something hints me it wouldn't go away by itself. If I'm right in my assumptions, and Daybreaker really was able to take over the body, she won't give it back. I don't know how or in what form she existed in Tia's head, but remembering how reluctant she was to remember the bad old days, I doubt the arrogant, cocky pyromaniac was given a word in there. And what she will do now, having finally got her hands on it, I can't even guess. It's possible that she'd do such a thing, that Celestia will remember even these times with a great reluctance. It’s dangerous to leave everything as it is. It shouldn't be left as it is. And what would become of Tia, trapped in her own body in the far corner of her mind? In the long run, if she dies, so does Equestria. And if Daybreaker gets her hands on me, I don't know what she'll do to Luna... Damn it. That's why we can't leave it like this! It’s!.. Abyss, everyone's gonna get hurt, and it's not like they're gonna survive it. Yes, Cadence had some kind of a plan. There seemed to be some kind of a safe place where she could, in theory, think of further actions, or perhaps try to influence Celestia - Daybreaker! - through the dream world. And if I can work with dreams as well as I have in the past days, maybe I can somehow negotiate through them with... Who? Daybreaker? Let's not forget that Tia might not even be there, to some extent, right now! And if the fucking pyromaniac suddenly also knows some kind of cure for interfering with dreams, maybe that drink would work for liquidating me, too? Then it's a lost cause... I won't make that deal, I'll just end up in the position of an underground terrorist. I'll be chased by everyone and everywhere, with no way to influence the decision. And sooner or later they'll get me and put me back in that cell. And the same goes for Cadence, but in the next one, just in case... And while I’m running around forests and stashes, Daybreaker is going to have a blast and she won't accept any refuses. Abyss. And what should I do if I stay? Or I should leave?.. “Nightmare, don't lag behind!” Caddie called me. “Yeah, coming.” I replied thoughtfully, hastening the pace, which became slow upon the sad thoughts. No, damn it, I can't do like that! If Tia - when! - gets back and looks around at her second part's doing... But, maybe... Am I imaging the things worse than they really are? I bit my lip tensely, and took another step in response to another call. No, damn it, I’m not and this is the worst thing! She was, in canon, a very arrogant and slightly inadequate version of Tia. By the way, the thestrals here unkindly called her the Fury of the Sun and called her queen - to which Celestia herself always reacted painfully. I had once asked Luna's assistant what the story was, and that was why I had no illusions about Daybreaker. She would make a mess of things for sure! And no one is gonna like it... She has to be stopped, right now. But how, heroic hero? Daybe, if I remember correctly, in the canon was quite a match for canon Nightmare, and I... Well, what to do then? While thinking, I didn't notice Cadence leading me in the famous corridor. The narrow lancet windows of the old Canterlot castle glowed brightly in the sunlight, making me squint after the artificial light of one of the inner corridors with the seemingly endless doors of some reception rooms. The Elements. It clicked in my head when I thought for a moment about the stained glass windows and remembered the one near the entrance to the throne room. Daybreaker had brought the Keepers of the Elements here, and if it wasn't too late, and if Cadence wasn't mistaken, she should be meeting them right now. And if I can convince them that there is nothing left of Celestia but a disguise, then... I stopped, not responding to my guide's call at the fork that led us away from the places I knew, staring grimly at my feet. The presence of the Elements not only gave me some kind of chance, but it essentially deprived me of any choice. Now I simply had no right to leave. At all. Just go out and fight, and then, as luck would have it. For Tia, for Equestria, for my friends, for my own life. I remember the villains in canon liked to pressure the Elements through Fluttershy... And what can an alicorn, which lost all sense of humor, do with her? She can just refuse to go against me... I shook my head violently, but the image of the sweet, kind pegasus tortured with fire spells flashed in my mind. What about Rarity? Pinkie? What would become of them all? And what Daybreaker - and Tia with her! - will do with Equestria? With her idea, that's been alive for centuries? And what will become of her when she comes to her senses and sees the deeds of her hooves? Tia, the kindest pony - she would... It would just kill her... No. I don't want it to be like... That! For Celestia, my friend, how kind she is, how impossible not to love and want so much to trust, to disappear without a trace... No. I cannot let that happen. Even if it is risky, even if it is partly unreasonable, even if it is... scary, if we’re honest, but... “Nightmare, what is going on with you?!..” Cadence yanked me back into reality, shaking me so hard, that my teeth literally snapped. “Let’s go, please! There will be no other ways after!” “Go alone, Caddie.” I finally made my mind. “W... What?..” She stepped back perplexedly. “B-but Nightmare, you're!.. What has happened, hey?.. Where are you going to? Wait!..” The last words were shouted into my back by the confused alicorn. “Just doing what I have to do, Cadence." I said, pausing for a moment. “And you go do what you have to do. I... I can't leave everyone behind, leave it like this and go away. Just in case - farewell. And thank you.” In the hovering silence, my hooves clattered lonely down the empty corridor, and a heartbeat echoed in rhythm. Infinity later, the feeling of staring into the back of my head was gone. Only a fractional staccato of almost galloping footsteps, heading in the opposite direction was behind me. Well... I hope I can catch Daybreaker and the Keepers on the landing pad - it's not far. And I also hope, that my farewell will be of no use. And everyone who gathers there will watch the sunset tonight. ... The gates rattled shut behind me. In the thick, molasses-like silence, my hooves clattered across the stone of the landing pad, towards my fate and the seven ponies watching me constantly. I made it in time. “Ni-i-ightmare Mo-o-on.” ‘Celestia’ prolonged with a barely hidden triumph, with such a uncharacteristic - impossible! - dangerous squint and maliciously anticipatory grin. Tia would never do that. I shuddered involuntarily at the distinct, painful sensation that the alicorn's body in front of me was stretched tightly over someone else... There was something in her facial expression, movement, and gaze that was elusive, wrong, that frightened me into shivering. “Twilight!” The alicorn commanded, still looking at me. “Equestria needs your help! Use the Elements! End this horror once and for all! You shouldn't have come, Nightmare. But no, it's even good...” She lowered her voice, smiling creepy again. “Forgive my impertinence, Your Highness, but what you told me has little to do with what I saw with my own eyes when I spoke to Nightmare Moon in person. She is not a villain!” “That’s right, Your Fireness!” Rarity and Pinkie crossed the space between us in a few steps and stood next to me. “Thanks.” I whispered hardly - there was a lump in my throat. In the deafening silence that followed, as if stunned by what had happened, Flutty came over to me, just looking into the eyes of the snowy alicorn and hastily hiding her gaze, twitching on trembling and bending legs. Following the pegasus with a gaze, I lifted my eyes to meet the “Tia’s” ones. I saw ire, perplexity and... Something like a hurt. “How do you dare?!” She hissed, looking at the ones, who were standing next to her. “You lyin’, your ‘ness, lyin’ to beat the band - this is why you're laughed at.” Applejack fixed her hat. “No truth behind ya words.” Earthpony shook her head reproachfully and crossed the invisible line as well, standing next to Fluttershy and giving the others on the other side a frown. “If even Applejack says so, then there’s no doubt.” Twilight sighed bitterly. “By your latest letters... I've studied with you for years, Princess Celestia, and you've never said or written anything like this before! I don't understand what's going on here and with you, but..." The unicorn looked down and sighed. “You know what? If you were Princess Celestia - I'd tear anyone for you!” Dash looked at the alicorn. “But you - whoever you are - are not her, since I don't have this desire, and Jacky is in doubt as well! Let’s go, Twilight.” Rainbow nudged her suppressed friend with a wing. “We'll find out what you've done to our Princess - and you'll regret if you thought of hurting her! Am I right, girls?” The pegasus asked as she and Twilight joined the friendly row of ponies beside me. “You're overreacting, darling! Just Her Highness... Is out of control a bit and should calm down!..” “Why everyone has left me again?!” The alicorn, alone, panted with frustration and anger as she slammed her front hooves down on the stone of the platform. I noted absently how sparks spattered from beneath the hooves. It was a hell of a blow... When I looked up, I couldn't help but shudder: the gaze of the strange, broken, elongated pupils on the yellow-orange flame of the iris and the black-burgundy sclera was piercing to my bones. “E-e... “Again”?..” I didn't understand who asked that, hurriedly counting the heat resisting shield for a group. Will blow us like it’s nothing!.. “No one ever wanted me!” "Celestia” was rapidly evaporating, revealing to the dazed and frightened exclamations of her friends the real appearance of our opponent. The mane and the tail flashed in flames, the fur took on an elusive orange hue, the cutie mark changed. And the impressive fangs became visible as soon as the mare opened her mouth. Daybreaker, in all her splendor, was impressive. The only thing that spoiled her appearance was Tia's inappropriate-looking regalia. “O, Celestia!.. W-who is that?!..” “Fiery bearcat!” “It’s like me and Luna some time ago. The dark side of Princess Celestia.” I took a step towards the flaming alicorn, that was gnashing teeth. Her gaze was a wall of longing and doom. Yeah, we have the Elements... The gate swung open with a rumble, and the ground rapidly filled with the clatter of hooves. “Auntie!.. Oh no...” Cadence, which was about to rush forth, froze near me in fright. “What is going on here?!” Luna's Canterlot voice swept around, even though the Princess of the Night was swaying in the wind from weakness. She was gently supported by Blueblood on her right and Dark Whisper on her left. “Tia...” She panted shockingly, coming closer. Daybreaker looked around at the crowd and retreated a few steps. “I don't know who you are, but you shouldn't have harmed and pretend to be our Princess!” Rainbow stomped with her hoof. “Girls, let’s smash this monster with the Elements!” The call had an effect: Twilight hesitantly stepped forward, and the others began to form a semicircle behind her. "Let's smash with the Elements” - that's like me then, right? To send to the Moon, preferably as long as possible?.. I looked in Daybreaker's seemingly frightening but desperate eyes. What would become of her?.. Maybe the Elements would spare her, if it was up to them. And if the users decide? Those who are now staring with righteous anger at an absolute enemy? And she's... like me?.. I’m not going to find out what would become of her. This world's got my experience. “No one is going to be smashed.” I demonstratively stepped onto the line of fire. “Hey!..” “Nightmare, what are?!..” “Nighty, wait!..” “Disperse a little, don't breathe down at my neck.” I waved away from the indignant, perplexed and frightened voices with a wing. A simple way is often a wrong one Tia said so. And I want to save her without the necessity of stepping over someone's dead body. Especially over her sister in misfortune. One who is created to support and love her maker - even if she doesn't understand it for some reason. “I can kill you, Nightmare.” The fiery mare stepped back reflexively when I closed in. “I’m dangerous!” So familiar... “I know. In our first conversations, I told Tia pretty much the same thing, because when I realized myself, she was the enemy of Luna - and therefore of me. But believe me - I’m not your enemy. What’s your name?” “Why do you need it? What are you up to?!” “I want to understand with whom I’m dealing with.” “To get rid of afterwards?” Daybe chuckled wistfully. It was as if her mane became smaller and darkened a little, like dying out. “To try to help. And I hope without the extreme measures...” “To help... Of course! No one ever helped me - and now you will?” She sniffed distrustfully. I was silent. Just... If not me - then who? Who will understand and listen to you, Fiery one?.. “Daybreaker. Satisfied?” She whipped herself with her tail irritably. “Daybreaker...” I said as if tasting the name. “Why did you want to get rid of me?” “Because Celly wanted to!” The alicorn's mane flamed for a moment. “That's all she thought about after the nightmares! That you'd take away her Luna, who's always with you, pouring her heart out to you, but she won't talk to her and won't even try to see her anymore! I don't know what Celly sees in that wretched mare who's always spoiling us and who she couldn't stand herself before... Doesn't matter now! You wanted to take it away, and for some reason Celly was afraid to defend it! She was doing some gibberish! I offered to help her, but she wouldn't listen. As always... She pushed me into a corner like she didn't need me, and just forgot about me..." The fiery mare stared down at her feet. Her mane, darkened to near red, shortened and swayed like a fading campfire in the wind. The hooves clattered unevenly, and Luna, supported by Cadence, stopped to my right. “She never needed me!” Daybreaker said through her teeth, not paying attention to the ones who came closer. “Though I know a lot of things better than she does! I helped her hold on to power when this." The white alicorn nodded towards Luna anyway. “Ruined our country!” It’s still not the “I’m a better version of you, Celestia!”, but somewhere close... “I've been helping her! Advising her! Supporting her! And she!.. One day she just shoved me into the far corner of her mind, leaving me to exist in darkness and timelessness, and forgot about me... Why?! For what?!” Daybreaker's gaze seemed to penetrate everyone in the room, including me. There was something about it... As if the alicorn wanted to cry, but just didn't know how. Cadence was silent, burying her head in Luna's neck. “While the nightmares were eating her up, she couldn't make up her mind about anything, foolishly running from thought to thought. And then she luckily lost her lauded self-control! And when you struck your blow, I could strike mine and take her body away from her! Let her sit in the corner where you put me! I hoped that I could do all the things she wouldn't dare do, and then she would see everything and understand!..” “Understand what?” “Understand, that I’m not useless and!.. And!..” Daybe moved her ears irritably not being able to find the words. “She needs me!” She finally said. “I’m strong! Determined! I could do what she had only had the courage to think and talk about all this time! Kill you!” A golden shoe was put on my chest furiously. “To make her.” Now it was the same, but with Luna, who almost lost her balance. “Belong to Celly and only Celly! Always! And drop the pink one in the dungeon for not being good enough in governing and taking too much time for herself!” Cadence sobbed dully. “And you think Tia would have liked this... eagerness?” I looked at the Princess of love and gave the fiery mare a hard look. She’s riding hard. “And how would she see all this if you locked her in the depths of your mind?” “Why does it matter?!” Daybreaker flamed angrily again. “I'd have told her!” “And she would have accepted you after a killing? After imprisoning her niece?” “She would have understand!.. But all this chatting doesn't have any purpose at all.” Day ended with a cracked voice, drooping and losing her brightness as sharp. “Bring your Elements here, let’s get this over with. Celly would be only happy to know, that... That I’m... I’m no more.” What an unhappy and silly horse you are... “Day... Daybe, can you get Celestia's body back?” “What for?!” The alicorn recoiled back. “So that she would put me back into the darkness and forget there?!.. No! No!!!” I sighed. Make you kick the bucket is easier, but... Tia didn't do the same with me, did she? “I want to talk to her. About you. I... No, I can't promise for her, but I’ll do whatever I can to make sure she doesn't... leave you again.” “And I’ll do the same.” Luna closed her eyes. “I had once abandoned Nightmare, who was to me what you are to Celestia, and I can hardly forgive myself now for that monstrous mistake. But I can still keep my sister from making exactly the same one. And I will.” “And... And I...” Cadence panted, dashing the tears away with her wrist. “It shouldn't be like that...” “You won't make that!” In the eerie eyes splashed despair mixed with a kind of wild, distrustful hope. “We will. If not now, then after a few days. We will definitively.” I made a fast step forth and embraced the lost alicorn, that was left by everyone. “Hey, what are you doing?!” She tried to resist, but it was half-hearted. “Hug you for good luck, Day.” I chuckled wryly, feeling the tears come to my eyes. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed that everyone seemed to be gathered around, not being able to wait. “Give Tia back to us. Please.” I hugged her tighter for the last and stepped back. “But... I’m...” “Tia is kind. You would know.” “She's silly, not kind. And if she agrees, then only because of that.” Daybe grumbled, looking at the floor. “I... You really won't forget about me?” “Don't worry, sugarcube. You are a boogie, sure, but didn't make evil just 'cause wanted to, but 'cause ignorance and misunderstandin’ Princess will surely forgive ya! And we'll ask her for you, that's a fine.” It seems our “sideway, one-to-one” dialog was intensely listened to by all who were not lazy... That's good. “Fine, I... I’m not needed anyone here, anyway. The words are nice, but you won't accept me, anyway... If I'm lost, so be it!..” Daybreaker muffled, and she swayed and began to change rapidly. The elusive orange hue disappeared from her fur. Tia's bright sun shone brightly on her thighs again, and her mane flowed with the gentle colors of dawn in the wind. Princess Celestia, having regained her balance, opened her bottomless pink eyes, framed by long beautiful lashes, and looked around in confused bewilderment. “N-nightmare?!.. Cadence?.. I!.. What?..” The alicorn glanced helplessly around the crowd. “Luna!!! You're alive!!!” Alicorn rushed to her sister and froze, pulling blue one into her embrace with a squeak from Luna. “Luna... Lulu... I...” She sat up carefully, allowing the unbalanced Princess of the Night to lean and practically lie on top of her. Tears rolled from the corners of her closed eyes with trembling lashes. We all somehow involuntarily spread apart, leaving only obviously “blue-screened” Dark Whisper and simultaneously joyful and tense as a string Twilight. “Princess Celestia! Are you alright?” She decided to ask, hesitating a bit. “T-Tactfulness”. I rolled my eyes. “I’m... Yes, Twilight, I guess so...” Tia exhaled gently, clutching her pale-smiling sister firmly in her hooves and wings, without opening her eyes. “Luna, my moonbeam, is a live, and everything else... Thank you, my faithful student. If not the Elements, I would...” Opening her eyes and dashing the tears away from her eyelashes, Celestia smiled hesitatingly. “Sorry, but...” Twi hesitated. “It wasn't us, Your ‘Ness.” Applejack shook her head. “That’s Nightmare’s and ya sister with Princess Cadence's thing - they persuaded your flame-maned, this...” The farmer made an uncertain gesture. “But with a condition of you giving her a chance.” “Persuaded?.. A chance?!..” Celestia shook her head in disbelief and flicked her ears and stared at Luna, and then at me. “Imagine that, Princess.” I chuckled. “By the way, welcome back.” “I’m not... Fine...” She closed her eyes for a few moments. “How long... Have I been away? And what I... What has she done?” “Four-ish days?” I suggested uncertainly, glancing at silent Luna and Cadence. “What's the last thing you remember?” “I...” Tia frowned thoughtfully, stroking her sister’s head reflexively. “I woke suddenly in the middle of the night. Trying to figure out what might have awakened me so untimely, I sensed some powerful ritual somewhere in the side of Luna's chambers. I rushed there, thinking that she was in danger, but the night guards refused to tell me what was going on or let me in. And I... Oh...” Celestia drooped and sharply yanked her hoof away from her sister’s head. That's how it was... Apparently, my brief encounter with the nightmare had disturbed the stability of the dream, causing Tia to wake up. And Tia, in her progressive paranoia, perceived it as a sense of danger - and found it. The spell rest, I realized, could be shielded if necessary, but why would we need it?.. So Princess raced to the lighthouse in the night, with guards and misgivings... “And I gathered my faithful guards, put on my armor, and... and entered by force, and I cast my wrath upon the ponies that protected you, and broke your injunction, sister... Forgive me..." Celestia finished quietly, turning away and not daring to raise her head. “Injunction?..” I voiced what appeared to be a common question from the crowd, who were crossing their perplexed eyes at Luna. “Well..." It was time for the blue one to try to hide her eyes. "I shouted in a fervor that my sister was no longer allowed to set foot in my house, and..." The Princess of the Night stumbled, automatically glaring at me with a guilty look. “And... I didn't think you'd take it so literally." She looked up at her sister pitifully now from the bottom upwards. “Then I wanted to tell you, but I forgot with all the business... That's it: I went and tried to make peace, but the ban... I hadn’t decided to lift it. Blue idiot.” The blue idiot sighed, waving away aside hopelessly. “Nightmare.” Celestia gave me a gloomy gaze, squashing her precious Lulu even tighter. “Only you could call my sister such an unflattering name, as she has now said about herself!” “But what she said about me is sometimes sadly accurate." Luna retorted before I could even open my mouth. I was tugged on my tail in a familiar way. When I turned around, I noticed a fiery look in Rarity's eyes, who responded to my attention with a pout and a shake of her head. “Five hours of ballroom dancing in a dress with a corset and a huge pink bow on the back!” The unicorn promised me with her eyes - not words. “And you broke in and found Nightmare Moon full of power and magic and Luna barely alive." Cadence continued half-questioningly, bringing the conversation back to the main topic. “Barely alive?..” Tia chuckled bitterly, starting to again stroke the pale blue mane. “When I came in and saw her, I thought that... That Luna is no more. And... And...” “I’m alive, I’m near, Ti.” Now it was Luna’s turn to tighten her grip on the barely holding elder sister. “Everything is good. The battle with your nightmare may have been very hard, but Nightmare did it. No one else will disturb your sleep.” “We did it, blue one.” I corrected with pressure, not finding the desire to be silent for some reason. “If you hadn't come and taken that attack that was meant for me, then... I wouldn't have woken up, I guess.” “Nightmare?” Tia looked at me in surprise, as if gauging and weighing me again. “The mane? Honestly, I thought...” The Princess of the Sun became confused and looked away. Many have been thinking... “My congratulations, Nightmare.” Luna smiled with the edges of her lips, turning back. “But really - where from?” “From our nightmare.” I answered vaguely, not wishing to remember how I'd dug my fangs into the supple, cool ether of the panicking and twisting creature. Nor I was wishing to share the unnecessary nuances with others. Most were satisfied with the answer, but Tia's slightly furrowed brow indicated that she suspected something. Luna's rounded eyes reflected a complete understanding of the method. It was unclear whether there was more fear, astonishment, or respectful admiration. “I guess that fire mare that was in your place decided to do the same and arrested Nightmare, and today she was going to judge." Cadence brought the conversation back to a constructive point. “Yes...” Tia sighed, drooping sharply. “When I saw Luna and decided, that she's no more... I couldn't, and... Daybreaker hadn't missed her chance. All I remember is a strange sort of half-dream, with nothing but my thoughts, until my... waking up here. Thank you for stopping her - in this way or another. And I'm sorry you had to see that." Tia finally hid her gaze from everyone. “That mad mad monster that slumbers deep inside me, waiting for a chance to break free, to bring fear to everyone around me in its endless rage and to destroy everything like wildfire...” I usually call Luna a hypocritical fool, but here, I'm sorry, Tia, I call you one. You're a hypocritical, white fool... And, judging by the looks on her face, there wasn't much of anyone who shared Tia's position after meeting Daybreaker in person. Even Luna, looking at her sister in a dumbfounded way, began to try to get out of the embrace as much as her small forces allowed her to. “Celestia! You!.. Let me go!.. O-ouch!.. Thanks, Cadence...” The Princess of the Night got out of the embrace of stunned and visibly upset Tia, almost fell down, tangled in her shaky legs, but was caught and supported by the pink alicorn. “I... I can't believe what I just heard! Is my kind and merciful sister, who had thought of Nightmare Moon as a monster, who spared and...” Luna looked at me, laying back her ears for a second. “And, m-m, gave her a second chance despite... All the quarrels and problems...” Luna, who was either tired or just not able to find the words, went silent and leaned wearily against Cadence. “The one who taught this very Nightmare Moon about kindness and friendship and convinced her that she was too bad about herself and deserved something good, too." I picked up on. “And now you're talking like that? You?!” I shook my head in some prostration. “You don't understand!” The Princess of the Sun got on her feet and looked up reluctantly, rolling her jaw and tilting her ears stubbornly. “She's insane and relentless! Coming then, when I was trying to hold the country together and restore order after Luna - and Nightmare - had been banished, she immediately began to advise the most radical methods and ways, the cruelest sentences, the most heartless solutions!..” The Keepers gave Tia disbelieving, dumbfounded, and pitying looks. Dark Whisper squinted unkindly, Blueblood stared gloomily at the floor. “I succumbed to her in many ways - and I bitterly regret it to this day." Tia finished grimly, her voice lowered sharply. “But don't think that after I realized what I had done and began to correct everything to the best of my ability, promising to do without extreme measures wherever there was any possibility, she calmed down and became silent! Her thoughts, her whispers were always there, silently sounding in my head, calling to evil and cruelty! Convincing me that this was the best and the right thing to do!” Tia shook her head, as if she couldn't believe what had just come out of her own mouth. Luna stubbornly looked up from under the brows, and her aide, frowning, rolled her jaw angrily. “I managed, with difficulty, to drown out that whisper, to push it away, to forget about it, to learn not to listen to it... At one time I even hoped that it would fade forever, but... But after the nightmares, it always came back. Like this time as well...” Celestia sighed. “Her words grew louder every day, I even... I even caught myself listening to them sometimes! And then I saw Luna, and I believed that death had gotten to her, and... And she managed to take over. And now I can only hope that the monster hasn't done something irreparable.” Tia sighed again, as if summing up her speech, and looked around at everyone with a stern and determined gaze, lingering on Luna and me. “I don't think she's done much wrong - well, except for my arrest, which wasn't a happy emotion." I said to break the silence, which was pierced on all sides by judgmental and uncomprehending glances back at Celestia. “If she had collected the Elements a couple of days earlier, of course, I could have gotten some...” “Not at all, darling!” Rarity clucked her hoof in indignation. “We wouldn't use that kind of force against a pony we know as a good friend." The unicorn glared at Dash, who was about to object. “Because of a made-up and ugly accusation!” “You do know that by behaving this way you call into question the security of the state, don't you, mare?” Blueblood asked unfriendly, deliberately looking past Rarity. “In that case, there had to be a trial, and it had to be fair, so that I, with bitterness in my heart and tears in my eyes, still went along with it!” The milliner’s nose perked up, only to look at me with an apologetic look. “Thanks for the trust.” I mumbled under my breath, feeling a lump coming towards my throat. “Well... I any case, I think I’m lucky that you hadn't been gathered here right off the bat.” I drew the line, overcoming the emotions. “Well, how to put it...” Applejack scratched her hat at the back of her head, blushing her cheeks awkwardly. “We got a letter the day before yesterday, sayin’ it was urgent, it was a matter of state... But we wasn't in a position... to do it.” “Hey, Jackie! Don't you tell it, please?!” Rainbow Dash pushed her indignantly. “Well, we followed that strange zebra, and got into a poison joke... Oh..." Now the pegasus, blushing awkwardly, scratched the back of her head. “Pinkie! You've got the details.” I winked at the pink earthpony and chuckled. “I don't want to talk about it.” She made a sad expression on her face and answered with a surprisingly deep bass. Fluttershy hid behind her wings, the others chuckled. “And you, Princess, are smiling for nothing." I warned her, poking her with my hoof, noticing the inappropriately happy expression on Celestia's face. “We haven't forgotten about Daybreaker.” The fun faded away as if it had never existed. It even seemed as if the Sun was dimmer at the same moment, making the world a little grayer. “I don't understand what there’s to discuss, Nightmare.” Tia looked at me with a frown. “Or my arguments were so unconvincing for you?” “So unconvincing, sister.” Luna replied instead of me. “We’ve talked to her, and she agreed voluntarily to give the body back to you! And even though the Elements of Harmony were behind us, it was not their power that made Daybreaker do this! I'm sorry, but... you're wrong to call her a monster.” “It’s like you weren't listening!” The Princess of the Sun became indignant. “She!..” “She's ready to fight any enemies in any quantities if they get in your way to get your admiration, to get your kind gaze!” I raised my voice and moved towards Celestia, who seemed to be in a loss after such a turn. “Some Nightmare is trying to take your sister away? Execute Nightmare! Sister doesn't pay enough attention? Lock her up in the tower - let her belong only to you!” “And you're talking like there’s something good in this!” The snowy alicorn pierced me with a reproachful gaze. “She!..” “Not “she”! You!” I put the tip of my hoof on the edge of the Princess's nose, silencing her either with surprise or outrage. “You, Tia! And I, while being a creature of the same origin as Daybreaker, can surely say that!” “Say what?..” She became lost. “She is absolutely dependent on your opinion and your desires." I explained with a sigh to the silly Princess. “What you put into her, that's what she will become. Like a foal.” “But how's?.. But how could I?..” Celestia looked around hopelessly, being under pressure. And sharply drooped, when her gaze fell on Dark Whisper. “You told me yourself." Luna quietly confirmed something only the two of them knew, looking at her sister sympathetically. “It's... I made her like this..." Tia's whisper was so quiet that even I, standing at arm's length, could barely make out the words. “Give her a chance. Like you did with me.” I tried to look in the Princess’ eyes. “I... I can’t.” She looked at me with a look of confusion and fear that was so strange to her, and retreated a step back. “If... Then she... I... No!” “You're afraid, sister.” Luna nailed her. “And you're making the same mistake that I made with Nightmare, out of misunderstanding and fear of her. A mistake you won't forgive yourself for later. And she won't forgive you, either." The Princess of the Night looked at me briefly. “Can she forgive me now? When I've been trying to forget her for almost a thousand years? If it was as much for her as it was for me, these few days..." Tia shivered, wrapping her wings around herself for a second. “No one said it's gonna be easy, Princess. But it’s not too late to fix something yet. Not too late yet.” “She's so-o-o-o sad out there all by herself." Pinkie said with her ears hanging down, and looked at Tia with a pleading look. “P-please, don't... Well... Don't push her away. If... If it’s possible, of course...” Flutty’s whisper followed, hiding her gaze. The white alicorn stared up at the Sun in intense thought. The silence was broken only by gusts of wind. The eyes of everyone present crossed over to Celestia. Some looked hopeful, some encouraging, some smiling. The thestral continued to frown warily, Blueblood bit his lip grimly, also thinking about something. Luna had a slight, calm smile on her face, as if she knew in advance that her sister would agree. “I...” Tia finally unfroze. “I have to try. Even if I'm right about her, but... You were right to rebuke me for hypocrisy. I shouldn't deny anyone the chance to make amends. What should I do?” The alicorn looked at me. “Teach your... Neighbor with all sorts of things.” I shrugged with my wings. “Listening, hearing, explaining what's wrong, and how it's really right. Give your body control for good behavior, I don't know... And then one day you'll put the Elements back together - and we'll all mentally ask Harmony to give Daybe her own body, like I once did. That’s all.” “That’s all.” Celestia chuckled uncertainly. “As if it’s so easy...” “Any way starts with a first step, auntie.” Cadence nodded cheerfully. “Princess Celestia! You are always successful - and you will be even now!” Twilight shook her mane convincingly. “Yeah! We’ll always have the time to get rid of! It’s not that hard to gather up, is it?” Dash chuckled carelessly, but melted away under reproachful gazes. “Hey, what bad did I say?..” “Come on, Princess. Talk to her.” I smiled at Tia with the edges of my lips. “Okay, I... I’ll try. Thank you for the support.” Her smile was a bit forced and she looked at everyone around. “M-m... Day... Daybreaker?..” The alicorn froze, as if looking somewhere inside herself with glazed eyes. With my head down, I smiled. Tia had once given me a chance and tried to tell me about friendship, and now I'd talked her into giving someone a chance. And, I think, not in vain. It's nice to do good, after all. It's easy and peaceful. And it just feels good to help someone. It's a nice day today. ... “Nightmare, Luna... Cadence! Everypony! I’m sorry... I... I couldn't cope with my own fear and almost ruined... everything." Tia sighed and died out. “And thank you for not letting me make more mistakes. The moment is finally ripe for me to do it.” Stepping towards some jaded Princess of the Sun, I unabashedly embraced her, enjoying the warmth and the sensation of her beating heart. “I must feel sorry. If I hadn't gone to make Luna pay...” I sighed, not knowing what else to say, but I still felt surprisingly at ease. After holding Sunny in my hooves for a few more moments and pulling her close, I reluctantly pulled away. Tia followed me with a bit awkward, but sincere smile. I glanced at the Elementals, too, and found massive happiness and amusement. Except Dash looked like she obviously didn't know where to put herself. Pinkie was smiling ear to ear, and Rarity was carefully wiping the corners of her eyes with a handkerchief. “Nightmare...” Luna stepped to me, being supported by a Cadence's wing. “Will you also accept my plea for forgiveness?” You like to put nice questions on the table, blue one... I looked thoughtfully in her eyes - Luna responded with a firm, determined gaze - I drifted my eyes to my hooves... I... I don't know. I just don't know. “You know, I...” I looked again at my traitor, tormentor, mentor, partner, and savior, just in time to break the silence, which was about to turn from prolonged to awkward. “I could’ve said right now: “Yeah, okay, no problem, forget it”, but... It won't be what I really feel and think." I sighed, not knowing how to put the storm that was raging in my soul into words. Luna drooped. “But also, if I’ll be honest with you.” Rarity, after getting my short gaze, blushed a bit. “I can't say, that it is absolutely impossible and unthinkable. Maybe one day, when this wound is healed a bit... Not today, Luna. And... Thanks for taking that hit.” “You're welcome, Nightmare. Your words are already giving me more than I dared to expect: hope." Luna closed her eyes and smiled peacefully. “Thank you for you readiness to give me a chance. I’ll prove, that you're not mistaken. I’ll tell everyone what had happened there without lies. Who you had been to me and what I had done. And it is your words that will give me the strength to do it.” “Luna, but!..” Celestia leaned forward, looking at her sister with pity. “This lie must be ended.” Luna stepped back a bit, lifting her foreleg in a stopping gesture. “My daughter deserves better than to be a scary and grim legend.” “D-daught-ter?!..” “Oh, hay...” “Luna?!..” Great job, blue one. Thanks, damn it. “Oh, I’m sorry, Nightmare.” The poor mare, apparently noticing my gaze, covered her mouth with the tip of her wing. “You're...” “Of course you can talk like that, if you really want to.” I waved away, rolling my eyes. “Just don't forget that I don't think so, even though it's partially right from the factual point of view.” “Of course, as you say.” Luna agreed in a hurry, and, getting a stunned gaze from her sister, asked pitifully: “Can I tell you everything afterwards?..” Tia, slowing a bit, nodded. In the pause, it was unusual to feel the gradual release of tension. “Well, everything ended well, didn't it?” Pinkie came between us, causing the four alicorns to recoil in surprise. “We need a goodending party!” “Yeah, won't be bad to have one.” I chuckled as I straightened my ears and remembered my plans: “Tia, Cadence, girls - everyone is invited to the spa in Ponyville. We can go to the party too... Luna, you can come too, if the doctors let us go. Daybreaker... Well, you ain't got much choice. And Tia would have to go through it twice for everyone to get some!” Someone snickered. Tia's face changed for a moment, and she seemed to be immersed in an inner dialog. “It seems that something horrible has happened with our Nighty.” Meanwhile, Rarity eyed me with a satirical gaze. “She doesn't desperately fight me and the spa off, only to give up and go and have a lot of fun anyway, but offers herself, first! Are you all right, darling?” “Nope. I’m very tired.” I chuckled in reply at the question and the massive amount of smiles. “I think we could all use a rest and a little celebration." Celestia smiled, causing an animated chatter. “Thank you everybody once again.” Tia stepped back and stood in front of everyone and suddenly, elegantly bowed. “Today you have saved Equestria and me. And you saved the pony that even wasn't given a chance for a life by me in my fear and hypocrisy. Saved her from... From me.” Tia sighed, shutting her eyes for a few long seconds. “This day has taught me a lot of important lessons. From now forth, I’ll try to be more courageous and wiser. Thank you everyone.” While everyone was in a slight stupor, digesting her words, Tia's silhouette floated, and a moment later, from under her torch-like mane, wary orange eyes stared at us. “Nightmare, Luna... It’s hard to believe that you... That Celly... Thank you, yes?..” Daybreaker drooped and, judging by the “sharp” return of Celestia, retreated hastily. “You're always welcome, Daybe.” I chuckled. “And you, Tia... Just don't ever cheat on yourself, okay? If it weren't for your kindness to me and all..." I made an indefinite gesture. “If you hadn't stood so fiercely on your ideal of kindness and friendship, including every conversation with me, I'm afraid things would have been much worse now. For everyone. Keep it that way, ay?” “I’ll try to, Nightmare. Thank you.” “You're welcome... Well... Let’s finally have a cup of tea?” “Surely.” Tia smiled and came closer to us. “But before that, we have to finish one thing: Daybreaker has gathered many ponies for... some significant occasion, and they've been waiting there for some time. Come, we must think of something to say to them on the way.” “Let’s draw a plan!..” “I think!..” “What if?..” I took a step back and chuckled at the disappearing horde of multicolored ponies, discussing their options as they went. They'll figure it out without me, I suppose. And besides... Wait, where's Tia? “Will you tag along at this spontaneous performance, Nightmare?” “As you say.” I shuddered in surprise a bit and moved aside, letting Celestia come to my side. “Thank you, Nightmare Moon.” “You're welcome.” We were silent, walking side by side at a distance from the others, who didn't even seem to notice our absence. In fact... there was something else we needed to talk about... “M-m... Ti?” “Yes, Nightmare?” “Remember that time you offered me your friendship? Is the offer still on the table?” I chuckled awkwardly, turning my gaze away. “Even if it was not, I can always make a new one.” Celestia smiled, judging by the voice. “Will you become my friend, Nightmare Moon?” My soul felt light and joyful. “Of course, Princess.” Not finding the other words instead, I gently slowed Tia down and hugged her. “I'm glad to call you a friend too, Nightmare. Whatever happened between us before and in the future, I believe: we will always find a way out. Together.” I missed that smile. “Thank you for saving me from making such a grave mistake. M?.. And a big thanks from Daybreaker, too.” “Thank you, Ti. For... For damned everything.” I was confused. “Let’s go? Before they lose us?” We cut our embrace and went on. As friends, and with the feeling that, if anything happens, we can always rely on each other. To that bright tomorrow, where everything will be all right for all of us. Epilogue I. Words About The PastAuthor's Note "A few weeks later. The reporter finally gets what he wanted)" Original author's note. Epilogue I. Words About The Past THE CAPITAL EVENING: Events of the week №5.10.1258 A talk with a legend Author: Persistent Discover I confess, dear readers, that yesterday I had difficulty sleeping. Despite the difficult day at work, even though I already had experience of meetings like this one, I could not calm my thoughts in my head and get rid of the feeling of anticipation. In the morning, as I put on my neatly pressed suit and adjusted my tie, I could only spin the dozens of questions that had been swirling in my head since our first meeting. I've been to the palace, the beautiful home of our beloved and incredible Sun Princess Celestia, several times before. But now my escort took me on a different route. There, on guard of the high gates, the heroes of horror stories, urban legends, and other idle tales stood unwavering as statues, pony pegasi with wings like bats: the thestral. Their commander gave me a stern look, checked some list, and, having singled out his escort, allowed me to enter the night wing of the palace. The mysterious possessions of secret Princess Luna, unseen by the general public, where I had an appointment. The rich furnishings in calm or dark colors, paintings on the walls and the reigning silent calmness there were in stark contrast with the rest of the palace, where usually the glitter, colors and fuss ruled the ball. Under the vaults of the walls of the Night Princess one wants to be reverently silent and to step as quietly as possible in order not to break this strict and a little bit harsh silence. Finally, a somewhat gloomy-looking guard thestral, who seemed to be trying not to let me out of his sight the whole way, turned to one of the doors and pressed the bell. There was permission to enter, and my guide, who opened the door, nodded at me with a silent, insistent invitation to an audience. The pony, whom I had longed to speak to and for whom I had prepared so long for an interview, met me, reclining on the cushions behind a low table, and invited me to join her tea party with an elegant gesture of her shoe. I dared to hesitate for a few moments, admiring the mare before me. The black hair was glossy, complemented by contrasting silver-blue shoes and a breastplate, more like armor than regalia; the incredible mane and tail scattered across the carpet, resembling the night sky dotted with slightly twinkling stars; the turquoise eyes with an unusual vertical pupil, watching me with a slight irony from under the half-closed eyelids. Her Grace Acquired Princess Nightmare Moon was beautiful. “Good day, Persistent. I can see it in your eyes, I'll be in trouble. Make yourself comfortable, don't hover over me. Tea?” She greeted me with an ironic chuckle. I hurriedly settled down at the table, scolding myself for being unprofessionally distracted at such a moment (I'll take that as a compliment - note. NM). “I'm sorry, I was struck down. You are, as always, unparalleled, Nightmare. It's a pleasure to finally meet you.” “Alas, the opportunity did not present itself sooner. Government business - no matter how clichéd it may sound.” “Well, not everything in life happens the way we'd like it to. But nevertheless, I'm glad that you found time for this meeting after all. How are you feeling?” “Surprisingly not bad.” “Well, that's wonderful. So... About three weeks ago, Princess Celestia gave you a big public welcome, thanking you for saving Equestria and lamenting that her sister, Princess Luna, had suffered in a battle in the dream world and couldn't attend the celebration. What happened then?” “Do you know how night nightmares work? They are entities that feed on the negative emotions of sleepers. To get more of those emotions, they pull all sorts of negativity to the surface, which turns into a nightmare dream for the pony. As it feeds, the nightmare grows and becomes stronger. Since dream-walking had essentially been long forgotten in Equestria, and no one dealt with nightmares - many of them have managed to fatten beyond repair, and a powerful enough nightmare, for a second, can tear the fabric of reality and crawl out into our, the material world.” "Wow! Is it dangerous?” “Would it be dangerous if your nightmares came true?” “I guess it would.” “That’s the point. It was almost exactly the kind of thing Luna and I had stopped, and we didn't let it build up the strength to break through here to us. Luna got a beating, I was hurt as well, but we’ve managed, so nopony will face their worst nightmare in real life for a while.” “Thank you.” “That’s the job.” “Back to Princess Luna - how do you comment on her sensational statement? Admittedly, it was like a snowfall on the Summer Sun Celebration and, as many believe, threw a shadow over both herself and Princess Celestia.” “Admitting her mistakes, and that kind of mistakes, and in public, and not having fully recovered from her wounds by that time - that deserves a lot of respect, you know. Admit it - it would have been much easier for her to keep quiet, and no one would have known, but...” “Do you think she did it for you?” “To some extent, perhaps. But for her own sake, too. Conscience is not capable of withstanding everything in the world. But, in any case, I can't help but respect Luna for what she did. Few ones would have had the courage to do it. That's why I, personally, don't see a shadow here.” “And Princess Celestia? After all, according to Princess Luna, it turns out that she interpreted our story rather loosely, at least - in the part of her sister's life.” “If I hadn't come back, there would have been no question at all, but the Elements had suddenly decided that Nightmare Moon would still be useful here. And Tia, like any decent sister, wanted the best for Luna. I doubt, by the way, that she wrote the story herself or directly told them what to write. Though I don't rule it out either. But the ponies could very well have molded this image without her involvement, as they did with the Nightmare Night, for example. Pure folklore.” “By the way, how do you feel about this holiday?” “Masquerading as monsters so that the evil me who wakes up on the Moon once a year, after looking at Equus and getting "taxes from the subjects," would decide that things there are bad enough and change her mind about going back? Strongly thought out, honestly - impressed. One good thing: before the "taxes" were carried to the statues representing me, but now you'll carry them directly to me. I don't know what you did with all that before, but now... It was your idea, your fault!” “Don't laugh like that, please! It... Scares a bit.” “Just a bit? Okay, I’ll work with the evil laughter, “a bit” isn't the thing.” “About that... I've heard in passing that you like to be feared. Is that true?” “It happens when I'm in the mood. But, as a rule, it still annoys rather than amuses me. I start to get angry and forcefully drag the alarmists out from under the tables with my telekinesis.” “I'll try not to be afraid of you without a reason. And I'll ask one of those risky questions that I've heard you might get angry about. May I?” “Someone here just promised not to be afraid - why ask, then? Say it right away - and accept the consequences. You'll be remembered as a hero.” “Well... You once had a serious quarrel with Princess Luna, and even fought with her - although, given her recent confession, the reasons are understandable. What is your relationship now? Are you two at peace now?” “No. But we stopped the hostility, too, for a number of reasons. I won't tell you how she feels about me - you'll ask yourself if an opportunity appears, but I feel about her... I guess you could call it respectful armed neutrality.” “And what does it mean?” “I respect her and am ready to interact for mutual benefit, but I have no desire to communicate just like that, as a friend, and tolerate her around longer than necessary.” “An unexpectedly frank answer from a pony in your position. Do you not fear that your words may be used against you?” “I can't stand politics and backroom games - and yet I just got back from a business trip where all I had to do was them. So, let me be honest: such "exploiters", if they appear, run a great risk of regretting it. Sooner or later the rule "don't try to drag Nightmare Moon into politics" will become unspoken, common knowledge and mandatory for everyone who cares about health.” “It’s... Harsh.” “I'm just warning in advance, so that those who took the risk won't be offended by the fact that "that was cruel and for no reason at all”. It would be easier for me to silence everyone involved, one way or another, than to deal with the aftermath. Or turn them all in to Tia - let her sort it out. Let Daybreaker reeducate them, for instance.” “Yeah, Princess Celestia's second form... it's very awe-inspiring. But you speak of it so calmly, as if such violence would have no consequences.” “Tia will understand me. And if she doesn't, I'll go into exile for ten years, travel around until she cools down. But the next generation, maybe, will realize something for themselves. I like it when everything is simple and clear, and that is not the case in intrigues.” "Alicorns think in generations, don't they?” “Honestly - I’m frightened myself.” “This month probably flew by unnoticed at all for such a long-living creature like you?” “Partially. There was a lot of work to do. Just got done with the nightmare - now I had to make peace between the thestrals and the reality. First the guards in the palace, and then - to fly to them, in the mountains, and try to imitate diplomacy there in general for everyone. I was mostly growling at them and trying to get them to walk in formation, to be honest... It was good that Luna came to a bit of her senses after a week and a half and flew to help me. We worked together for a while, then I came back here. And then, not a week later, you and I met today.” “And, if it's no secret, what happened to the thestrals?” “They don't trust the day ponies, especially they don't trust Celestia, like at all. Some of them want to follow Luna, some of them want to follow me, some of them cry "We can do it ourselves!” and some of them want to call for peace, and some of them want to overthrow Celestia in favor of either Luna or me. In the end, they couldn't decide how, where, and why they should all go together, so they started... let's call it "quarreling”. “Would you agree to rule in place of deposed Princess Celestia?” “Yeah, such a nice “gift” for me, Discovery! Especially since Tia is my close friend, and I won't let anyone to make a coup against her. And Luna has the same title, so it doesn't make sense, even if she had the desire.” “Well, it's a real shame that things went this way with the thestrals... Tell me, did you manage to reconcile them?” “Hard to say. I’m here, not in Solar Fall. But Luna continues to work with them, and at the time of my departure, positive developments were noticeable. Perhaps Luna, sooner or later, will finally succeed in overcoming their stubbornness and radicalism.” “Why did you leave?” “My part of the work there is finished, and I hope I will not be needed anymore, because that in itself would not be a good sign. I cooled the hot heads, cleared the ground for the quiet and fruitful work of Luna, and dealt with my supporters to the best of my ability. The next step is persuasion, the unraveling of a pile of intrigue, and the construction of a system of checks and balances. Luna felt she had to do it herself: the thestrals are her people, after all. So, they are indeed her achievement, which I have no claim to, though some of the thestrals are inclined to think of me, not Luna, as the Great Mother.” “Let's hope Princess Luna succeeds, and that these unusual ponies will soon be free to live among us as friends.” “If nopony runs away screaming in terror, it's possible.” “I hope it won't get like this. And, speaking of unusual ponies, what can you tell us about Daybreaker? Who is she, and what is she like? To tell you the truth, it's unlikely that the vast majority of ponies understand who she is. And quite a few continue to worry about the health of our beloved Princess, including, embarrassingly, her mental health!” “Daybreaker is quite similar to what I was about six hundred years ago. No one can tell you exactly how entities like us appear, though I have some theory, which is also based on personal experience. “Will you share?” “Alicorns, because of their longevity and difference in power, and because of their somewhat isolated position from the other ponies, are very lonely creatures. And when you have so much power, but no friends at all - just your awe-struck subjects, which heed only to your word, none of whom even dare to pay you a compliment or give you a long look - you, sooner or later, involuntarily combine the two and make a friend for yourself. Don't ask how exactly this works - no one knows, for good or for bad. “Admittedly, I find it hard to believe in the loneliness of Princesses... There are so many things, so many ponies around, none of whom will refuse their friendship!” “Then ask Tia to come to an interview. Sit in some restaurant, give her some tea, offer your friendship - why not? See? Prostration for a minute and a pitying look that says, "But you can't do that, she's Princess Celestia!” Here's the bottom line in the form of immortal friends from her own magic, desperate desire, and something else.” “Yeah, I guess... Honestly, I didn't think it was that complicated. Isn't it dangerous to have two souls in one body like that? Aside from the fact that it does look like a mental disorder...” “Call it a disorder... Well, about as much as to call me a disorder. After all, I'm originally an entity of the same order.” “Oh, a thousand apologies!” “Forget it. You are not saying your words, as I understand that. The main thing is that such a definition is rather crude and superficial. Speaking of danger, it is not dangerous if you get along with each other and are able to agree. Otherwise, it might turn out to be like me and Luna. But I can assure everyone that Celestia and Daybreaker get along quite well, and I suppose that in a little while, as the latter gets used to this world and the laws by which it lives, the Elements of Harmony will give her a body of her own, just as they did to me.” “Sounds reassuring.” “I hope that will be the end of it, too. In the meantime, I can assure you, Tia is quite all right. In a way, split personalities are a natural process for alicorns.” “It frightens a little.” “Anything unclear is frightening. But personally, I hope that this process will not occur often enough for us to study it well - two cases are enough. And the rest of the alicorns are better off living without severe depressions and existential crises against the backdrop of loneliness.” “I couldn't agree more. As the theme of loneliness develops, I recall that Princess Cadence recently confessed that she has a special pony, and many are still wondering who the groom-to-be is. Maybe you, as her friend, know who he is?” “I may know, but I, as her friend, will sit and be silent with a cryptic look.” “It's a shame that you are so determined to hide such information!” “If you were a mare, Discovery, I might have whispered a secret in your ear, but alas, alas...” “Sorry, I don't want to ruin the atmosphere and good mood that has arisen, but now I just can't get past another question that you don't like.” “Go on. Just keep in mind that if I’ll cry into my pillow at night after that, it's your fault.” “I don't even know now... Okay. Does the most mysterious Nightmare Moon have someone special?” "No, and there are no plans to do so in the near future.” “After your story about loneliness, I frankly admit that I'm sorry to hear that. In a desperate attempt not to break your heart, I hasten to ask a more pleasant question: do you plan to return to modeling? You made an impression. The dresses from that collection are still popular today! Even Her Highness Princess Luna was seen in one of them, despite your differences!” “I don’t know. It wasn't in the plans, but if the opportunity presents itself, I'll probably think about it. But I'm not likely to work with anyone other than Rarity (the Ponyville fashion designer who created the popular "Symphony of the Night" collection, shown in person by Nightmare Moon, the newspaper's note.). “You two are close friends. How did the release of this collection and its success affect Miss Rarity, if it's no secret?” “She stopped sleeping for almost two months, trying to keep up with the orders.” “Oh... She works alone?” “Yes, and, as far as I know, she has forbidden herself to sew like an assembly line in the future. Her dresses are unique art, not a mass-market product.” “She's going to stop sewing?” “The same thing over a dozen copies at a time, yes. Now she's taken a little break after that race, but as far as I know, she's spending it again in the studio sketching new designs.” “Well, I look forward to seeing more of her work. The critics in the capital turn their noses up at her background and where she lives, but for me, those dresses were great, and Ponyville is a nice little town with very friendly inhabitants.” “Thanks, Persistent.” “Oh, I truly meant that! By the way, given your close friendship, should we all expect to see one of Miss Rarity's new dresses on you again at the Grand Galloping Gala? It's less than six months away, and I heard you're invited, aren't you?” “Yes, unfortunately, no matter how hard I tried, I didn't manage to escape... Don't interrupt me! I gave the invitation to my friend and hoped that I would be forgotten. It turned out that, with the help of some connections, she had reached out to Princess Celestia and asked her to welcome me with a new invitation. So I have it again. Personalized. And with a personal request from Princess not to miss the event. Looks like I' ll have to go, so there's a chance the new dress by Rarity will actually be there for the guests to see. What did you want to ask?” “Sorry, I couldn't resist. But "To wave the Grand Galloping Gala away" sounded, I must admit, very... very unexpected and surprising. What’s the reason?” “As I said before, I don't like politics. And since I doubt there's anything but politics, I don't expect anything interesting for me personally. Going there just to be bored...” “You have very pessimistic views of the reception. Honestly, I didn't expect that.” “We’ll see, of course. Maybe I’ll get lucky and they won't come true?” “Lush receptions are not to your taste. What kind of entertainment do you prefer then?” “Lately I haven't had much leisure time, but in general I like to fly and learn new things. I also like to make jokes and get into trouble. It's not that I like the latter, but it's still my most frequent leisure activity.” “I hope you'll be able to spend less time on this “leisure activity” and more time on the other options. Nightmare Night is coming up - will you be a part of the celebration?” “Coming up? I can't even believe it's almost mid-autumn, to be honest... I don't know yet. We'll see. I’ll try. Collecting so many candies for me, doing their best... Gracious Mistress of the Night, the Queen of Nightmares, the Mare in the Moon, Nightmare Moon shouldn't take the donation of her subjects?” “Please... You scared me a little. “Yeah, now everyone is scared of me. Fine, I’ll try.” “Thank you, Nightmare.” “By the way, can I ask you a counter question?” “Of course.” “Your accent... “Tselestia, Nighmayre, Ra’ty, Caydance, Ponyvill”... Where is it from? I've heard it a few times in the castle, but as a matter of fact, Canterlot doesn’t speak like that.” “Oh, I'm a fifth-generation native from Manehattan, Nightmare. It's the way we talk all over the East Coast, and I've heard it's become popular among the nobility lately. To tell the truth, few of the capital's aristocracy can do it in a way that doesn't cut into the ears of a Manehattan resident.” “Impostors.” “Why are you so harsh on fashion? Speaking of fashion... In thinking back to that fashion show, I can't help but think of another question: are you going to stay in Canterlot or go back to Ponyville?” “I will go back, of course. I'll probably be in the capital not so infrequently, but I plan to live in a place that's more pleasant and dear to my heart. I like Ponyville.” “I bet you've just become the object of rumor, gossip, and misunderstanding by a good half of the entire aristocracy of the capital.” “I'm sorry to hear that.” “You don't seem very impressed, Nightmare. Well... I see that we are somewhat late, so one last question for today, if I may?” “Go on.” “What are you doing at the moment and what are you planning to do in the future?” “I will be working with the dream world, studying it, mastering it further, protecting ponies from nightmares if possible. I'm also thinking of definitely trying myself in drawing, sculpture, and construction.” “Wow! Frankly, it combines quite unusually: drawing and construction. Of course if we’re not talking about interior design or building plans.” “No, I prefer something more poetic, so to speak. But that's just a plan for now.” “If you ever open an exhibition of your paintings or sculptures, will you send me an invitation?” “If you don't grow old by then, I'll try.” “I hope you're joking, Nightmare. Thank you for your time and for agreeing to this conversation. I'm very glad to meet you, I must say.” “Yes, it was interesting to talk to you. I hope I didn't let myself get too candid...” “Thanks again for your invitation, Nightmare Moon. Goodbye!” “Goodbye, Persistent.” Translator's thoughts, farewells and thanks.Author's Note This chapter is going to be a translation and a slightly different version of this post written in Russian. Translator's thoughts, farewells and thanks. That's the end, folks. After nearly a year, I have ended it, though I was not the only person who has participated in this grand - at least for me - project. I thank these people: hazz - I doubt, that he'd read this, but I really appreciate his work. He's not in the fandom, nor he was in my plans as my redactor, but the fate had decided otherwise. Спасибо, мужик. Twilight_the_spy - thank you for the help. Though not much, but it's something. Lindenholz - the same. Occasional people in the comments - thank you for pointing at the mistakes. And, of course, thank you goes to the author of this damned story. It was a hard nut to crack, but I've done it. Now to the gloomy part of this post. In this... article, fuck knows, I want to describe my journey, which got fucked as soon as it began. The story begins in September 2021. At the beginning of the fall I had a couple of ideas for poems and prose about, well, fall, but then I decided I wanted something more. As you all know, the whole ponyfiction - Russian analog of Fimfiction - has English translations at the top, which, while excellent representatives of this literature, are still written from over the hill and across the Pacific. And looking at "The Unwanted One", I realized that I wanted to show our Western partners that the Russian part of this community is not made with one finger and is quite competitive. But, as everyone knows, Americans know 0.4 languages, so I had to think about translation. I had some experience (extremely bad, no special programs, no multitran - Russian (and not only Russian) online dictionary - and no proofreading, with constant killing myself to the point of automaton), but I decided to take it to the next level. In October of ~~1917~~2022 I decided to take up the cause with responsibility. I asked my comrade AnDel about his participation in this endeavor, which at that time already involved about 200,000 words. He agreed, we split the chapters 50/50, me translating the 1st, 3rd, 5th and so on, and him the 2nd, 4th and on. And so it began: the first words were poured in and translated with a special program called SDL Trados Studio 2021 (which really sucks (or maybe I just didn't study it all)), every word was double-checked twenty thousand times and every episode was rationed: first I worked out a scheme where I translated ten percent of any chapter in the afternoon and then another ten in the evening. Eventually, I found this extremely unproductive and started translating 20 percent if the chapter was less than or about 4,000 words, or 40 if it was 2,000. As a result, two episodes a day turned into four or sometimes five in the summer, and I never took a day off, except when I had to change my HDD. Fall flowed into winter. Throughout the fall, I asked my comrade about progress, which flowed extremely slowly because of his...laziness, I assume. AnDel, you can defend yourself, but I will still think so. The winter of '21 started for us with incredibly funny news: the situation on the DNR-Ukrainian front began to deteriorate, and my co-translator lives in Donetsk... Winter had become a completely useless piece of time for me. Because of the lagging of the second one, I decided to be patient and wait for it, however, as it would turn out in the end, I just wasted two months waiting for something that never came. With this same period, I put the author on notice. At first he expressed average pessimism due to the lack of a good portfolio for this kind of projects, but I promised him to fix it. It was the promise of translation and motivation that drove me all this time. On the night of February 23 to 24, 2022 the Russian Federation began ~~a special operation, a war, liberation, genocide, return of land to its native harbor, a meat grinder, call it what you want~~ a new round. Total mobilization was announced in the DNR, a ban was imposed on any men under 60 years of age to leave the territory of the republic. My co-translator did NOT get in the army, but I FOR THE TIME had decided to not ask him about the translation, because after the 24th of February my mood dropped into a complete depression. Although I hadn't stopped translating, the feeling just pressed down on me. It cost me a great effort not to cry when I heard my mother say, "Did you hear there's a war on?" Ah, there they are, pouring right now... The first half of spring 2022. The front stopped focusing on the DNR for at least a period of time, my co-translator began to find time for computer games. For a while I still didn't show my utter desire to ask him about his part of the work. At the same time, I began to worry about finding English-speaking proofreaders for our translation. I found one, two, three, four... You know what almost all have in common? They all disappeared without a trace. The first one, after checking the first three chapters, simply stopped responding to messages. The second, after checking the first chapter, simply stopped responding to messages. The fourth checked nothing at all. The third was the only one who wasn't from the United States. Bangladesh. Checked the first four chapters and said that now - and most likely never again - will not be able to proofread, because he left with his mother to England, and the laptop remained at home, where his mother left it because of "breakage". That's right, in quotes. ALL of the people I found on the fimfiction discord or on it itself didn't get ten percent of the work done, and only one of them has a good reason. This will have its consequences. The second half of the spring of 2022. I started demanding new chapters from the co-translator. Zero. I stopped waiting for nothing and started translating the chapters I wasn't supposed to translate. Dry statistics: out of 56 chapters and two epilogues, I translated all except for chapter 2, 4, 6, 8 and 10. All the rest are my from A to Z. Summer of 2022. Stakhanov's efforts made the entire remaining translation, as well as the involvement of another person - hazz. This young man did not have to do anything at all, but in fact he was the best for his role. As a student in the Philology Department at university, this character helped me with the proofreading of the first couple of chapters and is still helping me now. The author helped me out a little and also helped me proofread them, plus he gave out new chapters before they were officially published so I knew our Nightmare Moon would be a pink-eyed girl on the throne before anyone else. In July, in coordination with the author, parts began to be posted, each new one a week later. So far the story has 30,000 views, 237 likes and 16 dislikes, 368 people waiting for the sequel and 1,057 shelves with the story in them (sort of like collections), another dozen have added the translation to their favorites and 102 comments. Now I want to retell my response to Professor Litmus' comment about the sometimes - or not sometimes - difficult moments in sentence construction throughout the translation: "This is not my fault that the English-speaking people I've found here and on the discord server are such... Well, trustworthy and answerable. You don't know how much of a strain is it to me to not just yell at the people sometimes when they ask about this. My blood is fucking boiling right now." To all readers, I congratulate you on the full writing of "The Unwanted one": the waiters have ended the waiting, myself included. I congratulate the author on finishing this long-build, but for him I will write separately. To my co-translator, I wish him not to die. Even though I'm still mad at him, I still need you alive, you freak. Maybe I'll end my sulking someday. I wish you all the best of luck in the new school year. The end. Additional material I - the not included oneAuthor's Note "The end." Or was it? I, of course, used your inability to read Russian and haven't translated the additional material the author had dropped by like after ending the main plot. I was hesitant to translate after living in Nightmare (blush), but now ready to go. Another chapter will be posted some time after. It's being checked by hazzz and he still has to read it all. Additional material I - the not included one I guess I have not shoveled out everything from my work archives, which over three years have piled up 40+ megabytes of text documents. If I suddenly remember something else - I will add a separate chapter to notify, and then move here :) Here are some moments and dialogs that were written as part of this or that chapter, but that either led to the wrong place or just didn't fit emotionally. Table of contents: Chapter 9, “The Silver Roses” Chapter 16, “Burn It All Down” Chapter 29, “Ponysutra” A canceled chapter, between 27 and 31, “A Lifeless Gaze”. A canceled chapter, between 35 and 38, “Flaw of Weakness”. A canceled chapter before 37, “Men Were Eating Meat”. Fragment from somewhere around 24-31, “Tia And Medicine”. An ancient fragment, “A Wedding in Canterlot”. *** Chapter 9, “The Silver Roses”. This fragment was written as part of work on Chapter 9 in August-September 2019. The dining room, to Luna's surprise, was in semi-darkness, barely dispersed by a magical lamp that gave a dim, silvery light. And on the table, among the various dishes, there was a vase... With blooming silver roses! Luna could not believe her eyes. Luna turned to her sister with a shocked look. She smiled back, pleased with the effect. “How?” Luna exhaled in an almost whisper. “They bloom only under the Moon's light... And I thought that you destroyed them, when... well...” “I was about to. One night I couldn't sleep and was already walking in the garden when I stumbled upon them. The decision was quick and unambiguous. A fire spell was ready to go off my horn when...” Tia sighed moodily. “I looked at these beautiful flowers, bobbing their heads in the gentle gusts of wind, inhaling their delicate fragrance... They lived, they gave me their beauty and their wonderful smell, and I stood over them and was about to destroy them... After standing like that for a few moments, I just turned around and walked away, angry at my indecision and an incomprehensible feeling of disgust towards myself.” *** Chapter 16, “Burn It All Down” This fragment was written more like a joke for my own self during work on the 16th chapter :) The beginning of November 2019. That's it, damned cowards, you made me go wild! “Twilight.” I addressed to my companion phlegmatically. “Are you familiar with fighting magic? Can you cast a lightning or something?” “Fighting magic?! N-no...” The unicorn looked at me cautiously. “I can do a firefly and that's it... Why do you need this, Nightmare?” “A firefly you say.” I grinned evilly at the panicking and cornered doctor. “Hey, can you do me a favor: burn this nothingness’ coat, please.” The mare stared at me in total shock and stepped back, just in case. “Gonna write this in obituary: “Burned on the job.” I delivered the final blow, approaching the alarmist with a gloomy grin. “Unless he finally picks himself up and starts treating me!!!!” I yelled, hovering over the panicking stallion. *** Chapter 29, “Ponysutra” If you look at the chapter 29 you’ll find the moment of the MH’s inspection of Rarity's bookcase, from which this fragment grew :) It turned out very good, in my opinion, but it did not fit into the mood of the chapter at all. Approximately June 2020. So. What do we have here? I shook my head and turned to the bookshelf. I looked at a book, inconspicuously placed in the corner of the top shelf, which was, for some reason, facing inwards with its backbone. I couldn't get a hold of it with my hoof, so I applied energy to the horn, pulling the obviously hidden piece of writing into the light with my telekinesis. "Dance of Lust," the simple white cover with a heart on it read. Well... Oh. A randomly opened page contained a colorful and detailed illustration with numerical symbols. "...to give the stallion maximum pleasure, you can stimulate zone 4..." I hurriedly turned the next few pages. I don't think the info from that illustration would be useful for the next year... There was an illustration of a stallion and a mare on the opened page. I ran across it with my gaze, hummed, turned the page again. Rustle. Wow. I didn't think ponies can bend in such ways... Rustle. Well, this is almost classic now... Rustle. Mare with a mare? Hm... Rustle. Heck with it, it's uncomfortable... Rustle. Rustle. Rustle. “Nightmare! I almost... O-oh...” In fact, there was another idea, which did not take shape in the text, but which amused me a lot, on the topic of how this fragment could have been developed. Instead of Rar, the CMC would break in and, having spotted the book the MH was reading... start to discuss it :) Like giving advice, to check a certain page - like, look, what a mess... Why do they do this to her?.. In a nutshell, they gave the outsider the understanding - in every way possible - that they've researched this sexual education handbook at least once because of their insatiable curiosity :) And after all that the fuming Rarity would come in :)) *** 4. A canceled chapter, between 27 and 31, “A Lifeless Gaze”. Rather curious moment with Tia's thoughts on Nightmare Moon. I can't remember the reason for giving it up anymore :(( Approximately May 2020. “Greetings, sister.” Luna entered the Princess of the Sun's study. “Greetings, Lu.” She delayed her answer. Deep in thought, she was drilling a document before her with her eyes. “Is it a bad time?” The Princess of the Night became confused a bit. It would seem that Celestia's vacation ended only yesterday, and already today Luna was dining alone... Well, not alone, of course, but with Cadence, but... without Tia. As the servants said, she had asked for lunch at her place of work - that was where Luna had come. She wanted at least to say hello to her sister, to make sure everything was all right... “Yeah... Yeah, no, come in. Happy to see you.” Celestia raised her gaze and put the documents aside, giving a smile. “If I have interrupted thou, I’d hurry to leave...” Luna heard the hesitation in her sister’s voice and made a step to get out. In the end, Tia has been around her for the entire week. Interrupting her just to say “hello“... “Behaving like a little filly!” The junior sister bit her lip. “Stay, please.” The white alicorn stood up from the table. “I’ll always find time for you. And, on top of that, I need a break either way. I look at the text, but the thoughts just seem to wander someplace else... I’m afraid I don't know what to do.” Tia rubbed her forehead tiredly. “What’s the matter, sister?” Luna perked up. “I’m doubtful I can help you much, but...” “You know, the matter is Nightmare and I wouldn't like to...” The senior Princess hesitated. “What happened?” Luna repeated and came closer. “You've met yesterday, haven't you?” “We have.” Tia gave up. “Everything went well, my concerns haven't confirmed, but... I’m afraid for you, Lu.” “Afraid?” “Yes. And I don't know what to do. She's a threat to you! I must not let her harm you! But... How? Because at the same time, she's a poor, misguided mare that deserves something good... And with all that said, she hates you and she does not hesitate to use force. I have to do something, but I don't understand what.” Celestia drooped tiredly. Luna did not know what to do either. She spoke to Cadence over lunch, but she hadn't the time to talk with the Mare in the Moon enough to say anything definite. She only marked that Nightmare clearly avoids conversations about the past. “Maybe I was wrong?” The quiet sister's voice pulled the Princess of the Night out of her thoughts. “Sorry, what?” Luna raised her gaze from the floor. “Saved Nightmare's life.” Tia explained with a colorless voice. “For her to... But I couldn't, shouldn't have done otherwise! But now I’m so afraid to lose you!..” The snowy alicorn, sighed heavily and turned to the window. “She... What is she, Ti?” Sister came to Celestia. “Why are you so sure that...” She hesitated. A silly question. “She... Every word that I can say about her hurts your heart, Lu. I don't want to make you hurt.” The Princess of the Sun drooped and closed her eyes tiredly. “So be it. It's earned by my misdǣd.” The blue alicorn shut her jaws, trying to seem defiant, but a hint of the old style of speaking gave her away completely. “Luna...” Celestia shook her head disapprovingly and went silent in uncertainty. Luna herself was tensely silent as well. “Fine.” Tia gave up after a few seconds. “If it's so important to you - I don't have the right to not tell you. But, in any case, I don't know much about her.” The junior sister stopped again, gathering her thoughts. “She... You know, it’s hard to look into her eyes, especially if she's deep in thought. Her gaze is scary: empty, lifeless. She didn't say anything like that, but at times like this I think that if I told her that she was going to get executed tomorrow morning, she'd be happy and ask me to bring it forward to save time... You know, when we first met, I was a little surprised by the way she was talking to me. Later, Twilight mentioned in her letter that Nightmare liked to be feared... I wondered - why? And then I realized: she just doesn't care about her own life, she has almost nothing in the world to hold on to. At times, she shows uncertainty and nervousness in communication with me, but quickly regains her composure. And why should she be afraid when she has nothing to lose but her life, which, in her eyes, has no value? Maybe that's why she hates you so fanatically and clings to this feeling, because it brings some meaning to her existence...” With a sigh, Celestia poured some water from the carafe into a glass and drained it slowly, trying not to look in the direction of the stiffened Luna, who was staring at the floor. “On the other side, she is not completely desperate: she can joke, laugh, show a kind of touching spontaneity... But the moment she goes into herself, it disappears: leaving only the lifeless look... I try to help her somehow, but, I am afraid, my efforts do not bear the desired results: Nightmare just doesn't trust me enough. However, according to her words, she does not trust anyone at all, and I do not know any other way to show her the joy of life other than through friendship. And friendship is impossible without trust... That's it: I cannot soften her heart, or she will be a threat to you. I have to protect you, but even if Nightmare would tell me "Thank you" for her death - what will I become then? What should I do?” Tia drooped and whispered quietly. “I have to fix everything!..” Luna said quietly with a cracking voice, swiftly dashing the coming tears away. “What, sorry?..” Celestia perked up. “I have to fix everything!” The Princess of the Night cut it off, standing tall and looking right at her sister. “I don't know how, but I have to! I did all of this to her - I’m the one who should pay the price! *** 5. A canceled chapter, between 35 and 38, “Flaw of Weakness”. This fragment was written before my decision to not show Tia's perspective in the 4th and 5th parts (Translator's note - chapters from “A Look Behind” to the end). The end of April 2021. “Good morning, auntie!” Celestia shivered when the cheerful voice of the niece got her out of her thoughts. “Is everything alright?” She asked a bit worriedly, taking a seat across the table. “Yeah, of course... I was just thinking. Good morning, Cadence.” Tia answered, professionally hiding behind a smile her vile mood. She had the desire to fall down and sleep right on the table. The nightmare was exhausting, almost impossible to sleep a wink this night. Nightmare Moon, towering over Luna's lifeless body with a bloody glaive and a triumphant grin, claiming that she would make a better sister than this, was still before her eyes. She, Celestia, did not protect her sister. She couldn't do anything at all when it was necessary!.. She did not even understand what was going on until it was too late! Left Luna alone in the middle of an unfamiliar world, believing that to meet once a day and ask "how are you?” would be enough! She shouldn't have!.. “Celestia, are you okay?” The Princess of the Sun flinched again at the sudden sound of Cadence's voice, which was already much more alarmed. She lifted her eyes from the plate she'd been aimlessly picking at - she hadn't even noticed when it arrived... - Tia met her niece's gaze, filled with worry and a hint of reproach. “Yeah, pretty much...” Junior Princess’ eyes started to radiate even more reproach. “I just can't throw what happened out of my head.” “Yes... Poor Luna and Nightmare!” Cadence sighed. “Nightmare?..” Celestia unwillingly raised an eyebrow, feeling strange annoyance. Over the past couple of days, the black mare's mere existence has begun to make Tia feel this way... How to treat her? What to do with her? She wanted to bestow all her anger upon her, but the pity for this deeply unhappy pony, who draws things that would make your fur stand, for pleasure, was stronger time after time. And was it all really her fault?.. Yes, she'd hurt Luna, but left her alive, and that was, without any doubt, a titanic struggle. Left her alive for her, for Celestia. And still Nightmare dared to threaten her sister’s life... “Yes.” Cadence answered meanwhile. “Maybe we haven't spoken to her very much, but... I do feel how her heart bleeds. And, if I’m allowed, auntie, I'd like to try to help her.” “Like with Luna?” She barely managed to swallow the toxic mockery in her own voice, and immediately chided herself for the irritation that was still there and didn't want to go away. “I tried to be near Luna.” The pink alicorn drooped. She had felt something and taken it to heart, and it caused a painful shot of conscience. “But alas... Another pony was needed to be around her.” “Sorry, Cadence. I...” Celestia lowered her head. Niece's evil barb hurt her. And good that it did!.. “What are you talking about, auntie?” Junior Princess sincerely didn't understand. “I just hoped, that if I couldn't help Luna, then maybe I could help Nightmare Moon? To become her friend, the one I tried to be with Luna - who, as it turned out, needed a sister, not a friend?..” Celestia closed her eyes for a few seconds. What is going on with her, damn it?.. She loses her temper, imagines things and all... “I’m afraid I don't need your help here for the time being.” Tia shook her head, having restored her composure. “I can't afford to give my sister so inexcusably little time now... So, Cadence, please, take at least some duties from me! Let me be with my sister!..” “Fine, auntie.” The Princess of Love sighed. “And what about Nightmare?..” “Don't worry, I’ll think of something.” Celestia smiled. Except she wasn't sure about it herself. Nor was she sure if she should do anything at all... *** 6. A canceled chapter before 37, “Men Were Eating Meat”. The idea is funny, no doubt about it. :) But I quickly discovered, that there’s nothing to write a whole chapter about - the essence can be put into two paragraphs. So, I did just that and left this for memories) The end of April 2021. Once upon a time At his modest home A stableman was serving meat to his dear guests I tried to sing one catchy song about meat under my breath, cringed. It rhymed horribly in Equestrian. And also, this “meat” with the meaning of “food” is clearly borrowed from some other language, hence sounds somewhat foreign... A-a, damn it... The initial spirits and jocularity about Gilda’s request were gone, but the question of “where to get meat in the land of herbivorous ponies" remained and, logically, was quite non-trivial. Go to Fluttershy, who already almost faints from my presence? Now she does for sure, yeah... Not an option, I see. Applejack, who has pigs? Doubtful. Even if she doesn't tell me to go... myself right off the bat, I'm sure she won't sell me a piggy. And do I even have the money to buy one is a question in itself... Perhaps I could try hunting? Well, first of all, I can be hunted myself. Second of all, I can hardly imagine the process of skinning and cutting the future food... By the way, this is a problem: no one here will sell me a ready-made loin. Damn. Tho-ough... I can pretend I’m a newbie, right? I could bring a boisterously screaming pig to this cat-bird and be like “now you”. I’m a simple herbivorous horse, how should I know what to do next? And if the cat-bird doesn't know how to do it herself, there would be a good reason to die from laughter... I chuckled. But it would be better if she does: I will have many things to laugh at I think, can’t say the same for tasting meat. But in any case, for starters I’d better find someone feasible to be the meat... Getting back to the ideas - hunting seems more realistic than going to someone to sell me livestock for slaughter. But the problem with hunting is that I don't even know which of the local woodland inhabitants are eatable - at the same time, I’m quite sure about chickens, geese and pigs... Hm... Hm!.. I stopped, feeling my lips part in a slightly malicious smile. I know there’s one plump town horse around, Name's Twilight... ... “...At all? Or here, “News from the fields”, quite a good monthly!” The first thing I heard upon entering is Twi trying to convince someone. “Wha don't I know there, sugarcube? Our apples are the best even without yer these mags! And 'cos they’re grown with ‘onest hoof work, not some flapdoodle!..” Applejack was fighting with indignation. “But the achievements of science!..” “Ballyhoo and all, Twily! No iron thingy is going to be more better than the Apples when it comes to growing crops, I ‘sure ya!.. O, Nightmare?..” A disgruntled farmer turned around and spotted me with a slightly unpleasant surprise. “Nightmare Moon.” Twilight reacted to her friend's words, turning around and formally stated my presence as well, carefully hiding her dread. “I’m happy to see you as well.” I chuckled, causing some grumpy looks on the friends’ faces. “Hi to everyone. Has Celestia written something to me, Twi? Or about me?” “Just warned about your arrival.” The unicorn shook her head. “And also mentioned that she’s waiting for you to apologize to Gilda, which you have almost hurt!” She said fervently. But after meeting my gaze, she hastily folded her ears against her head and tried to be as small as possible. Thanks for being the first one to shed light on that topic, by the way. “I’ve just come back from her. I wanted to apologize myself, really...” I moved my wing under surprised ponies’ gazes. “Why so?” AJ cocked her brow distrustfully. “Don't think that, it’s alright and stuff, I just can't understand ya sometimes, really.” “What is there to understand? She was up to bully Fluttershy in a very wrong time. If I hadn't been stopped - I'd have skinned her right at the spot. And killing for a scratch isn't really a good thing to do...” Ponies went pale and took a few steps backwards simultaneously. “...And this is why I've come today. To apologize for getting crazy.” I moved my wing peevishly. “If you hadn't decided to let it rip, you wouldn't have had to apologize.” Applejack mumbled under her breath. “What can a pony do if this is often understood better than words?” I sighed with a feigned pity. “But the desire to pick on Fluttershy - and ponies at all - of our claws-and-feathers friend has drastically lowered. “So you think you had done the right thing?!” Twilight stared at me with an unreadable look on her face. Applejack held herself from yells - just looked at me with disapproval. “I do. Just a bit too rough - and I apologized for that.” “Just?!..” The unicorn choked on air. “You almost killed her!” She and the farmer boiled over in unison. “On the upside, the lesson taught is pretty understandable indeed!” I answered with annoyance. The topic has started to tire. “And by the way, Gilda has recognized my right to do like I did and accepted my regrets! Except...” “Pf-f...” The orange mare cringed at my argumentation. “Except what, m?” “O-o, this is why I had come here.” I smiled in foretaste. “I assume that you know that griffons are predators, right? So... Twilight, you know everything here - wouldn't you mind telling me whose meat do griffons prefer?” *** 7. Fragment from somewhere around 24-31, “Tia And Medicine”. Strange thing, but I can't remember why and when I had been writing this part at all. I have to go through my archives... This one tells a little about Tia's skills and knowledge :) “Sister, why haven't you gotten rid of this scar?” “I've left it as a reminder. Yes, you'd say that with our memory reminders are barely needed, but...” Tia thoughtfully casted a sidelong look at the barely visible foreign line at the left shoulder. “At first, of course, I wanted to get rid of it immediately, but medponies of those times couldn't heal scars from magical weaponry completely, and my own knowledge of healing was very limited. “I saw a magna cum laude diploma of a medical institute in your living room..” “And it's completely well-deserved.” The snowy alicorn nodded. “I had to fire two rectors in order for them to stop overscoring me! I was a C student on the second semester.” She added awkwardly. “Then fixed that.” “Understood.” Luna giggled. “And why did you start it at all? Because of the scar?” “We-ell...” Celestia became confused for some reason. “You know...” Luna leaned forward in anticipation. “When I found out that I was pregnant - I was in such panic... I can't describe it.” Tia smiled nervously. “I don't even know what to do with this! What happens, how, when? What if something happens wrongly? What if something happens with the foal or with me?! I was worried terribly and I kept pestering the doctors non-stop - they almost ran away from me by the end of the second month... At the same time I took up self-education, having promised myself that after that I would study medicine and from now on I would know what was in my body and how it worked. I graduated in two specialties at once: equalogist and surgeon. And I even keep up with the innovations in the fields, so that I won’t be out of the loop.” “By the way... Was it compulsory to herd me to your equalogist? I’m a Princess! And she, me!.. There!.. THERE!..” Luna looked indignantly at her sister, while turning red with embarrassment. “What's wrong with it?” Tia shrugged with her wings. “You, apart from being a Princess and an alicorn, are a mare.” Besides, if we ever want to solve the problem of natural reproduction of our race, it needs to be researched. Equalogist Cadence wrote a wonderful dissertation on the peculiarities of the alicorn reproductive system, for example. So, this is all important not only for your health, but for our science, sister!” *** 8. An ancient fragment, “A Wedding in Canterlot”. Written in times unknown, when the feud with Luna was already forming as an idea, but I was still estimating the length of the fic until like season 3. Written sometime in late 2019 or early 2020, I think. I can't be more precise. :) “Why were you on the wedding, Nightmare?” Luna asked with defiance. Celestia quietly sighed. It seems that she is already regretting putting these two in one room. “Why I was there is crystal clear: I was invited by Twilight.” I waved away from junior Princess’ complaint. “I think a more interesting question is why weren't you there?” I looked at the enemy with a squint. “I can't stand any capital holidays. It’s not an enigma. I’m surprised you still haven't figured it out.” The Princess of the Night answered caustically. What a beautiful answer, truly... “A cozy reason, really? Allows you to be out of the loop, doesn't it, Luna?” I gave the blue alicorn a hard look. “What do you mean, Nightmare?” Celestia asked coldly before her sister could speak. “I mean that you shouldn't turn your back to her.” I answered Tia’s question, still looking at Luna. “See how curious this is: she makes a reputation as a loner who doesn't like holidays, so that her absence won't arouse suspicion. Then she hires Chrysalis and her bugs to attack the city just as you, Cadence, and the Elements are here. She knocks all of you out of commission, taking as payment all the love in the city that she can, and leaves. Returning Luna "suddenly discovers" that a nightmare has occurred, blames me for it, and, with her guards, dispatches Cadence, and, after crying in public, becomes the sole ruler of Equestria as the only remaining alicorn.” Silence falls for a few seconds in the hall. “A good plan, Luna.” I continue after taking a pause. “Too bad this dragonfly failed everything, isn't?” “Nightmare!” Tia’s voice boiled with indignation. “Maybe you're not on the good terms with my sister, but such accusations are an overkill!” The Princess of the Sun pressed me with a gloomy look, and the dazed Luna stared back and forth between Celestia and me, unable to utter a word. “Accusations? No, just suspicions for now, Princess.” I countered calmly. “Or you would say that my words are baseless? I’ll let myself remind you that your precious sister has already tried to kill you once.” “Like you haven't, hypocritical monster!” Luna yelled angrily with a suspiciously clinking voice. “Guess what, I haven't tried to kill my SISTER.” I chuckled in response. “You had created me to help you to seize the power - and I truly helped you to the best of my ability. Not very successfully, it's true, but I followed my destiny. And I betrayed no one, unlike you!” “Enough, Nightmare!” Celestia took me down a peg. “I've heard your opinion. If you don't have anything else to add - you can go.” “Two there should be. No more, no less. One to embody power, the other to crave it.” I cited thoughtfully into the space. “Be careful, Princess. If one day you don't wake up.” I nodded at Luna. “Because of her - I’ll take offense and stop talking to you. Farewell, Celestia.” I said goodbyes and went out into the corridor, leaving the sisters alone. Additional material II - author's fanonThis is a collection of my work and thoughts on both individual characters and entire races. In principle, I won't mind if someone uses them in his work - I'll keep the authorship anyway :) So if you do something - you're welcome :) Rarity Scootaloo Tempest Thestrals Changelings Griffons The Crystal Empire and ancient Equestria *** 1. Rarity The story of Rarity, written as a prop in the dialogs with her about her past. I admit that at the time I barely remembered what or who her parents were, so I wrote without reference to the canon, even though there's almost nothing written about them. Rarity was born in a small village somewhere on the outskirts of Equestria. She loved to sew, embroider, and work with fabrics in general, but, to her surprise, she didn't get a cutie mark for this apparently favorite pastime of hers. And she felt that something was wrong, something was missing. In her early childhood, by chance she visited Canterlot with her parents, and was very impressed, burning with the dream of moving there and becoming like the capital's residents: important, elegant, and refined. Her parents, on the contrary, did not like such cities, adoring the rural pastoral. Young Rarity, still without a cutie mark and being really tired of the plain rural life, started to burn with the idea of moving to Canterlot in search of a calling and a better future. Her parents, however, weren’t so understanding, and after a quarrel, she took all her savings and ran away from home. But on the way, the young mare understood quickly, that settling down in Canterlot is beyond her budget, so she stopped near the capital, in Ponyville, hoping to find a job, save some money and then rush towards the capital. However, no one wanted to hire a teenage filly without a cutie mark, no one even wanted to be with her – how can it be, she’s so mature and yet, blank flank... The unicorn had to eke out her existence by doing random childish work, like sewing costumes for spectacles in the local school and so forth. The mare's purse had started to show its bottom and she would often manage without food or place to sleep. She would probably have ended up with nothing if it hadn't been for Sonic Rainbow, who caught Rarity in the foothills, where she had gone to calm her nerves and dream of stumbling upon a gemstone - they had always fascinated the unicorn with their shape and luster, and she wanted to try adding one to clothes and see how it would look. It was in the sparkle of the rainbow that she found her first stone, a small sapphire, and in honor of this finding she received her mark and also discovered her talent for easily finding precious stones and processing them to create sparkling masterpieces of clothing. With the help of the stones, she was able to improve her financial situation, which by that time was already quite threatening, and having a cutie mark immediately opened the door to many places. She joined the local seamstress as an apprentice, impressing her with her ability to decorate the clothes she made with precious stones. The lonely old mare died soon after, bequeathing her business to Rarity. She managed not only to keep the thing, but also to expand it considerably, replacing the old sewing shop somewhere on the outskirts of town with a chic store almost in the city center a few years later. Rarity soon made peace with her parents as well, and after a while, to her surprise, they sent their youngest daughter, Sweetie Belle, to live in Ponyville as well. “You were right, daughter. It's good for her to get out of our province.” Father smiled at the surprised Rarity. Everything turned out well, but those first half-starved months in a strange town, where no one wanted her, Rarity remembered for the rest of her life. *** 2. Scootaloo A little bit about Scoot’s life, which I described under chapter 32. It was interesting to somehow combine the established and much-loved fanon with Scootaloo the orphan and the now canon with aunts and parents traveling the hell knows where. It seemed completely uninspiring, until it occurred to me that Scoot's dad might have remarried just before season 8 and been driving around with his new wife, who pulled him out of the hole, on their honeymoon :) And I think the idea immediately kicked in :) When she entered the house, Scootaloo habitually grimaced at the familiar, but not the more pleasant, smell of alcohol. She threw off her bags and walked through the rooms, again wrinkling her eyes, this time at the sight of neglect: she has to do the much-hated cleaning again... It seems that she did it just a couple of days ago! So, let’s see… Monday... Yeah... Oh. Two weeks ago? Scoot sighed. Father was in the kitchen, snoring in the company of empty bottles and an old photo album, with his head on the table. He was thinking of mother again... The Pegasus, with a sad shake of her head, hurried to leave him alone. Snap Shutter was not a bad pony and a good photographer, but the death of his wife, whom he loved more than life, he could not stand. Scootaloo remembered her mother poorly: she was just two or three years old when she died... Her father has been drinking ever since, almost nonstop. He lost his job, sold his camera and his home darkroom, which he said he had once been particularly proud of... Probably only having a daughter, whom he sometimes tried to take care of somehow, had kept him in this world. Alas, these impulses occurred in him less often than memories of his wife and the desire to get drunk after them: sometimes there was not enough money in the house even for food, not to mention toys for the kid or even furniture ... All this would have probably ended sourly, if not for a few generous neighbors who took care of little Scootaloo. They fed her, played with her, looked after her, let her stay with them overnight... There was a time when she even seriously considered Holiday and Lofty to be closer than her father... Fortunately, she had enough sense not to say such things out loud, and then, growing up and knowing him better Scoot could understand and even, to some extent, accept this poor and crushed pony, telling her about her mother, pouring tears into an old photo album. However, he was not, and could not be, someone really close and important to her, and she still held a measure of contempt for this perpetually drunken wreck. The pegasus hated to see him drunk. Now, fortunately, her father was no longer drinking incessantly, but in "short" monthly passes, between which he tried to find work, establish some kind of life and relations with his daughter, but some time would pass and Scootaloo would come home from school and find him surrounded by empty bottles again... Scoot grew up early, learning to have her own money to live on as she saw fit while also trying to spend as little time as possible at home – she would never skip an opportunity to have a sleepover with friends. She had a good memory of her father drinking away her first paycheck - a dozen of bits for helping a restaurant's delivery service... She dragged her father to enroll in school, too: at last she would be able to spend less time at home! The result, however, was hardly better, especially in the lessons of the native language and literature... But it became much better when the pegasus established contacts with the Mare in the Moon herself. She had enough horror when she understood WHOM she had hit with her scooter... Luckily, she was an understanding mare, and a pretty cool one! A real friend! Scootaloo chuckled, remembering the expressions on Tiara and Spoon's faces the day after the memorable conversation. She entered the school like an icebreaker! For the first time in her life, everyone was dutifully parting in front of her, hiding their eyes and whispering warily! Sweetie, though... Oh... Well, the Mare in the Moon has fixed everything with her, as she promised. She was still a little afraid, though... It was all the more surprising to find the huge alicorn in such a depressed state... Like her father before a binge, looking at the photo album and uncorking his first bottle... Frankly, Scootaloo could hardly imagine Nightmare Moon having nightmares for which no remedy was available, but Scoot knew the unavailable... Her father also had nightmares on occasion, and he escaped them with sedatives mixed with his favorite booze. He drinks a glass and falls down. If that doesn't help her friend, perhaps nothing could. After getting a couple of packs of bluish pills from home while her father was asleep, Scootaloo took them to Nightmare, hoping desperately that she wouldn't go on a binge... *** 3. Tempest It would seem that the first season and Tempest can’t be put together, but the text below is not even close to everything I had in mind about her when I was spinning the idea of her meeting with the MH in my head. . .. Tempest Shadow, real name - Fizzlepop Berrytwist... She was born on the border, where she lived in her hometown without any trouble until she was fourteen. At school she was an excellent student and an activist, who participated in every event, for which she had a solid number of various certificates. Her friends were from the same circle; she did not communicate much with the others, treating those who were less successful in their studies with a bit of condescension. When she was fourteen, she wandered into woods, while playing with her friends, where she was attacked by a star bear, which resulted in the loss of her horn, a series of less critical wounds, and a long time spent in hospital bed. The loss of the horn was extremely hard for the young unicorn, who had already mastered telekinesis and was accustomed to it. In addition to having to actually retrain back to the use of hooves and mouth in everyday life, such a serious head injury resulted in frequent and severe headaches - not to mention the psychological problems that the mutilation entailed. Recovery and rehabilitation in the hospital took nearly half a year. Fizzlepop had fallen behind hopelessly in her studies, and periodic headaches became a serious obstacle in her attempts to catch up: the inability to study at the same level was another blow for the excellent student, who used to be afraid of even B's. Her friendship ended on the basis of her "friends" considering it inappropriate to hang out with the "C" student that Berrytwist was turning into, and she had no one else. Her parents supported her as best they could, but they were unicorns, they were healthy, successful ponies, and what was she? The final straw was the incident that caused Fizzlepop to get a cutie mark. One of her ex-friends somehow got the idea to "wittily banter" with the washed-up former high school star. Already crushed by the trials of life and enraged by her ex-friend's words, Berrytwist directed all her powerful magic at the rest of the horn, and an electric arc flew into the mocker. She collapsed, and that same electric arc flashily decorated the thighs of the unicorn that was dazed by the result. There was a foul stench of burnt fur, and there was a lot of running and thrashing and shouting... Tempest rushed home, tears streaming down her cheeks. She'd killed a pony! And she got a cutie mark because of it! A murderer's cutie mark!!! She couldn't stay in town any longer. What if she killed someone else? And even if she didn't, they'd still kick her out. And her parents would stop loving her as well... At home, Fizzlepop threw her things into her bags, hid her cursed marker under her cloak, and, scribbling a three-word note and crying, she escaped through the window to make her way to the border unseen. If her parents had been home, they would have stopped her daughter, but they rushed home as soon as they heard about the accident and found only a crumpled note on a tear-drenched sheet of paper. Of course, Fizzlepop was looked for - but it never occurred to anyone that she might have left Equestria... The dimwit, who wanted to assert herself at the expense of the unicorn who had lost everything, was lucky. A timely resuscitation managed to overcome the severe electrical trauma, and the medics pulled her from the afterlife. The consequences were a slight stutter, a network of scars all over the right side of her body, and an awareness of her own insignificance coupled with a sense of guilt. *** 4. Thestrals This fragment here is to bring order, because in the end it did manage to squeeze into the main text, though in chapter 47 instead of originally planned 28) However, you can see it in its original form, where it was designed as a dialog with Twilight. “Twilight, where the thestrals had come from?” “Well...” The unicorn mused. “It's hard to say for sure now, even Princess Celestia remembers their origins very superficially, as she herself said. The books, alas, are written in what an author can come up with: "Mother of the Night" says that they are all descendants of Princess Luna, "The Dark Tribe" says that these ponies are victims of the Luna curse... But "The Dark Tribe" is a rather controversial source: Its author, for example, claims that Luna was cruel and unprincipled, and that Nightmare Moon is no evil spirit, but Luna herself, who rejected everything radiant and good for the sake of power and authority... More reputable sources hold the opinion that Nightmare Moon is an evil spirit, which, scientifically speaking, looks much closer to the truth... Oh, sorry, Nightmare! I didn't want to offend you!” The mare stumbled halfway through the word, guiltily pressing her ears against her head. “No comments.” I answered evenly. “Continue and, if you can, about thestrals, please.” “A, yes, thestrals.” A distracted Twilight started to gather her thoughts. “I’m not sure why Princess Celestia didn't like to talk about those times, but she did tell me a few things about them. It wasn't long after she and her sister began ruling Equestria. The elder of a distant tribe of pegasi came to them for help, because they'd crossed the path of a unicorn who was a powerful dark mage, and the mage had cursed the whole tribe. The poor pegasi couldn't eat properly, their sight was deteriorating by the day, and their wings were gradually losing their power. By the time they were able to give the Princesses a request for help, they already had the first dead..." The unicorn sighed after a pause. “Was it a big one?” “No one knows for a fact.” The mare mused for a moment. “Big enough to survive in relative isolation on the outskirts of the country. So if I had to guess, there were no less than five hundred ponies.” “I got it...” I prolonged. “What had they done to the magician afterwards?” “I don't know.” Twi shook her head. “Princess Celestia didn't tell me that. Fine... So, the pegasi made a request of help to the Princesses. They, of course, didn't leave it without attention. Given the complexity of the situation, they decided to go to the pegasi village in person and sort everything out on the spot. The curse turned out to be complicated and confusing, and that unicorn had been doing it for more than one night. As a result, Princess Celestia found it impossible to lift it at all and headed back, especially since she couldn't leave the throne for long. Princess Luna, on the other hand, did not want to leave with her sister, leaving the Pegasi to die, and stayed. According to Princess Celestia, Luna spent almost a month there, trying to save the unfortunates - and she succeeded: she could not completely destroy the curse, but somehow managed to change and redirect its effect, resulting into a transformation of those cursed pegasi into thestrals, but Princess Luna herself was so exhausted that she almost died and then for several months she could not use magic at all! For this act, thestrals began to call her the Great, or sometimes even the Great Mother, as a symbol of her selflessness which gave them life. They also formed her guard and served her faithfully until her exile. That's how the curse and the changes Princess Luna made to it gave Equestria a new race of ponies. Thestrals can't see very well, especially in the light, but they have incredible hearing. They also have quite an unusual way of flying and they are excellent at keeping their balance thanks to some kind of a peculiarity in their vestibular apparatus. They can even sleep on the ceiling, dangling by their tails upside down!” Twilight shook her head in amazement. “They must have very robust tails.” I tsked. “They're robust in general.” The unicorn confirmed. “Some even think that they’re not weaker than earthponies, because of... M-m... Their ration.” The mare shuddered. “Thestrals are predators! They eat fish!” Twi said with a loud whisper. Fish, pf... I smiled slightly. “By the way, Twilight, in “A Brief History of Equestria" that I took from you, it was said that thestrals are a closed community and they are extremely rare in the cities of ponies, outside of their mountains...” “A Brief History”...” Twilight cringed for a second. “A very primitive source that has a gigantic amount of holes and neglects, but I should mention that the facts that are presented there are mostly precise. In addition, there is not much reliable information on thestrals at all, but this particular book contains the better part of it. We know so little about them that even for "A Brief History" there was nothing to cut... “Twi-i!” I poked the mare lightly with my wing. “Oh, sorry, I've interrupted you, haven't I?” She blushed confusedly. “Mhm.” I nodded. “So, it became interesting to me: if they live like an isolated small society - why haven't they died out?” “A hard and tricky question.” The unicorn chewed her lip thoughtfully. “I was interested in it as well some time ago, but I haven't been able to find anything in the books on this topic. Princess Celestia, when I finally managed to convince her to tell me about thestrals, told me a shocking thing: thestrals are not only pegasi, they also have unicorns and earthponies amongst their ranks!” Twi’s eyes widened. Now that’s interesting... “One might as well ask the question whether they're a pony race or just another species that is just close to us...” The unicorn mumbled and stared thoughtfully into nothingness. She shook her mane and looked back at me. “But this fact immediately deletes the severity of the problem of degeneration.” I cocked my brow in amazement. “The parents' different racial backgrounds make it possible to have children between much closer ponies without risk than with the same race. If I remember correctly, it's already possible for third cousins of different races to produce healthy offspring." The mare explained. “As a result, although the number of non-pegasi is extremely small - ten to fifteen percent - which does not allow them to rapidly increase the population at the moment, but still enough not to die out.” “Enlightening...” I prolonged. “Listen, where did they get unicorns and earthponies? And what are they like?” “From the time when thestrals lived among other ponies, before the exile of Princess Luna. They are the descendants of thestrals and common ponies from mixed marriages. Not all ponies were afraid of "children of the night," though of course there wasn’t a lot of them. And, in addition, not everyone was prepared for the fact that their own foal would be a thestral - in mixed marriages there was a very high chance of it, around seventy percent. Probably some peculiarity related to the curse or its transformation... I don't know. And how they look...” Twilight stopped, fixing her bangs with a hoof. “I don't know, I haven't seen them. Like all thestrals, I guess - faded hair colors, warm spectrum eyes with narrow slit pupils like yours, fangs, and larger than pony ears with tassels. And also, it seems that unicorns in thestrals ranks have a curved horn, not a straight horn like we have.” “It’s kinda strange, Twilight: it’s been so long and yet you're saying that there's little information about them... How can it be?” “Well...” The unicorn hesitated for a few seconds. “You see, perhaps if thestrals had been in contact with larger settlements, there would have been some noticeable cultural exchange... But there aren't even towns like Ponyville near their mountains, just small villages that don't even have railroad tracks. Another problem for visiting explorers is that thestrals are rather cold and mistrustful to ponies in general, and to strangers in particular. And few are willing to venture into such a remote area, given all the rumors and speculation that circulate among the ponies about thestrals.” *** 5. Changelings A bit of SDMS (The Search for Deep Meaning Syndrome) about changelings :) I added some things on this topic with some peculiarities somewhere in the comments on Ficbook* (I hope under “The Unwanted One), but damn it, I can't find when it was :(( If someone remembers or sees it - let me know! I want to bring it here as well. PS: I did bring it here, down below in a separate paragraph *Russian website for fan-stories “Changelings, aka werewolves, are ponymorphic swarming insects with an organizational structure remotely resembling a bee swarm. Very remotely. A changeling Queen leads the swarm. Their Queens are similar to alicorns and can match them in power, but are not immortal, though their lifespan is considerable. The birth of a Queen is very rare. The young Princess of a hive lives and learns from her mother until she either dies - replacing her - or gives birth to another Queen. In that case, the older Princess leaves her home hive and becomes the Queen of her own swarm, separating herself from the main one. This was the case, for example, with Chrysalis, who is now about one hundred and eighty years old: she spent almost one hundred and forty of them in her own hive until her mother gave birth to her sister Queen. After slightly more than two decades, she left her hive somewhere in Saddle Arabia to start her own - and, causing problems for herself, she stumbled into Equestria, thinking that it would be easy to create a thriving hive near friendly, non-violent ponies.” “Didn't her mother help her?” “No. You see, as soon as she crossed the doorstep of her native hive, not as a Princess, but as the new Queen, they were no longer related. Their bond was severed, and the new Queen was on her own. Naturally, she was not leaving alone, but with the new Queen's entourage and resources - everything she needed to start a new hive from scratch.” “Speaking of the entourage... You've mentioned that changelings’ organization is akin to bees’... It means “The Queen, The drones, The workers” or what? Are they even sentient? “I think comparison with bees was a bit of an overkill... No, they don't have such a rigid division into classes, and yes, they are sentient, just like ponies. In addition to the Queen, there are the regular changelings, doing all sorts of work. Stallions are usually scouts, spies, soldiers, and getters. Mares are teachers, educators, nannies, farmers. Also, both may hold scientific and managerial positions in the hive.” “Why do they need division of mares and stallions at all? Isn't the Queen in charge of breeding? Or are mares only needed as nannies?” “No, of course! Changeling mares are quite capable of continuing their lineage with stallions, but... How shall I put it? It's not quite... Normal for them? No, no, not that... Not quite usual? Generally speaking, they don't need it, as a rule. This kind of mechanism is more of an emergency system, allowing the swarm to survive in case the Queen dies. Basically, if a changeling mare has the will, the Queen usually won't forbid it - she'd even help. But for a simple changeling, clutching is a very arduous process, unlike for a Queen, for whom it is completely natural, so, in the usual situation in the swarm, only a few have such desires.” “Can be a Queen born like that?” “She can be. But a harsh condition comes into power, that the hive shouldn't have another Queen.” “And how do they do it?” “Hard to say... Changelings, frankly speaking, aren’t well-researched. Maybe something instinctive, I don't know.” “What about stallions?” “The hope of a changeling stallion is to be the one who is lucky enough to spend a night with the hive's Queen. That's why most of them are quite aggressive and there's a lot of competition among them, unlike mares. The Queen will only choose the one who has been most useful to the swarm, whose efforts for its good have been the greatest, no matter the position he occupies. I know all this may sound wild, but... Changelings, though similar to us, are not ponies. They have a lot of things that really differ from ours.” Entertaining... By the way... “Can be there a King?” “M-m... I think I've read something like it... A, yes! There can be, but only in an emergency, when the swarm goes into autonomous existence mode - survival at any cost, in fact. The most authoritative changeling in the hive at the time of such need becomes a king. His job is to unite the others, to help the swarm stay together until a new Queen is born to lead the swarm.” “So death of a Queen is a precondition?” “No. For example, a swarm can reject a Queen if the vast majority of the lings in it think that she is not acting for the good of the swarm. Or she may simply die, either way the swarm goes into this kind of survival mode. It's easy to identify: the changelings in it start producing poison inside, and their coloring changes accordingly - from camouflage to a warning one. This reduces losses from predators, but has a bad effect on the longevity and immunity of the changelings themselves. In addition, changelings become... more individualistic, beginning to divide into discrete groups, and it is the King's job to keep them on the same course.” “Why? Isn't it easier to survive together?” “Decentralization does not allow enemies to destroy the weakened swarm in one blow, giving time to take cover, to adapt to the changed situation... And, sooner or later, one of the mares will bring the egg of a new Queen, who, once born and grown up, will lead the swarm, uniting it again." “Go-o-ot it... And still it lacks logic - I mean about the coloring. In theory they have to hide, but the coloring changes to a more vivid one...” “They hide, first of all, with their special magical disguise. The coloring, as I said, is mainly to protect them from accidental attacks by wild animals, at times when the cloak does not apply. The standard black coloring is inconspicuous, but a changeling detected by, say, a manticore will still be attacked by it. In survival form it will be detected for sure, but attacked only in self-defense - in any other case, the manticore will try to avoid it as much as possible - what's the point of hunting a creature that is almost glowing with poison? Though, especially stupid predators can attack even such a ling, but they are few in number. As a result, the poison and colorful coloration reduce accidental losses, which the swarm can't afford at the moment.” “So it turns out that the poisonous coloring is more effective than the standard one?” “It is, yes. But keep in mind that it also has a lot of disadvantages, and all of them mostly work in the long run - reduced life expectancy due to rapid wear and tear of the body, weakened immunity and a number of other unpleasant effects... That's why the poisonous form is an emergency option for changelings, not the main one - more vulnerable, but not wearing down the body beyond measure.” “Enlightening. By the way... I've also heard that lings are feed by love. Is it true or?..” “To an extent. They can't naturally regenerate magic - and it's critical to them. I should just say that they cannot breed without magic... Emotional feeding gives them that same magic. Without it, a changeling will be significantly weakened, both physically and by losing the ability to use magic and turn into something, but it will not starve them to death. They can eat ordinary food to satisfy their normal hunger... And not just ordinary food: they're... omnivorous, brrrr...” “By which emotions? Only love?” “Really - by every positive, but love from their point of view is... is the most nutritious. Oh, nightmare... That wouldn't be much of a problem, but the emotions are exactly what they EAT - the pony experiencing it feels them fading! How their joy melts, how their love fades... If you take a little, it's almost imperceptible, but not all changelings are careful enough. If Chrysalis' hive was older and had many experienced and skilled hunters in it, it would really be able to thrive in Equestria and not disturb anyone, especially since it is much more profitable for a changeling to receive love from a pony voluntarily - this is much less sensitive for a pony, but only the smartest and most experienced can act slowly and carefully like that, and there is a very limited number of them. The young and inept lings, however, are a disaster for ponies. They cross the line, suck it dry, lose half of it, get caught... Of course, that doesn't make them any more lovable at all. And from the Princesses’ side as well. And when you have a feisty, strong, and self-confident young Queen at the head of the hive, who, like any changeling Queen, is ready to smash herself to pieces for the sake of the swarm, you have a problem...” “And there’s no way for an agreement?” “Alas... If they don't get a good beating - don't even try. “You don't talk to fo-o-od”, stupid maggot...” “Can't they eat their own emotions? Or, I don't know, share them? Or they don't love each other in general so there's nothing to eat?” “They do. The Queen loves her children, the swarm loves its Queen... They can feed on the emotions of each other, but only if they are from different hives. But in your own swarm, it's like moving things from your left bag to your right bag. The emotions collected by the swarm go to the Queen, and the Queen distributes them among all the lings of the swarm. You can also eat it yourself, but that's a pretty heavy crime by their standards. If you, an adult hunter, eat what should be given to young larvae to grow, who are you after that?” “But, theoretically, it turns out that you can drink emotion from another changeling of your swarm purely for yourself.” “Changeling hives are rarely very numerous, so they are somewhat economical with their own comrades, trying to not let them die from anything. But what you said, even with their thrift, seems like... A death penalty.” “You're not a thief till you're caught.” “But not in a hive. The Queen is connected straight to the hive - she’d feel everything and understand everything.” “But if it counts as a crime, then it means it has happened?” “If the hive is in a critical absence of magic - yes, it can happen. No changeling in his right mind and would even think of such a thing. But the sense of magical hunger can lead to such things...” “Got it. But what about the Queen’s connection you've just mentioned?” “Queen connection with her hive? The Queen senses her subjects, she is able to command them and receive reports from them at a distance. The older and stronger a Queen is, the more information she receives with this connection and the farther it extends. But even with the oldest Queens, its range is still quite limited.” “Can ordinary lings have such connections?” “Only through the Queen, directly - no. By the way, a changeling King, if it comes to this, doesn't have such a feature.” “Well, an interesting lecture, Twi. Thanks.” “Anytime, Nightmare!” ... The lost fragment. Slight hentai :) Скелет_Карлос (Karlos the Skeleton) I have a better idea! Set up a political marriage between MH and Chrysalis. To get a peace agreement from the Changeling Kingdom, and create trade routes between it and Equestria :) WerWolf_54 Yes, the idea of marriage with Chrysalis has also been on my mind for a long time. From the point of view of Tia and Equestria - to have peace, tranquility and friendship of nations, from the point of view of the narrative - to watch the panic of MH, who just realized that his new wife has an ovipositor, and she is getting cozy to some Nightmare for a reason XD The swarm Queen is a long-lived creature, but not immortal. She maintains the swarm's numbers and manages it, trying to achieve prosperity and welfare. The ordinary individuals can also have offspring if they wish, but this is an emergency mechanism for the swarm, and such a process is not easy for a simple changeling mare, because it requires a lot of resources, which she, unlike the adapted Queen, does not have. The Queen herself can either lay unfertilized eggs in an incubator to give birth to ordinary individuals of the swarm or she can share a bed with a stallion who is strong and has proven himself (Changeling or not is not important, as long as the species is minimally compatible and has some sort of kinship. I mean, a pony would do, there's a reason they're so similar, right?) to fertilize the eggs and become a mother. Or - the hentai option - the Queen becomes the "father" by laying unfertilized eggs in a mare strong enough to bear them - and loyal enough not to fountain negativity at the Queen and her clutch in herself. One is fertilized and a new Queen will be born from it. The rest, developing with it, will bring her retinue - personal security, the backbone of the guard, officials who will be absolutely loyal to the new Queen. The incubator is not an option here - the new Queen needs a lot of magic and love for proper development, which is only available inside her mother :) Eggs are laid almost ripe and soon crack open. The new Queen, as a Princess, stays with her mother's swarm, learning her lessons, learning to rule, and serving as a support and deputy in case something happens to the Queen to lead her swarm as its new Queen. And when the Queen has a second daughter (and the Princess has a sister), the older daughter leaves her mother's swarm to start her own. By the way, Chrysalis, in my current mind, is just that, a young Queen, who is at most 100+ years old, who left her mother's hive not long ago and chose Equestria as a food base for her swarm. (What would those ponies do if something happens?) And she miscalculated it, underestimating the difficulties about working with the locals. 6. Griffons A bit was created about griffons as well :) Griffons, as it turned out, also had their own races. The first, considered the standard in Equestria and the most widely known, was a cross between a lion and an eagle. There could be some variations, of course, but that was about it. These guys lived in the northeast of Equestria, in and near the mountains. The climate there was rather unfriendly, the land was stony and unfit for agriculture, and the more suitable southern territories were lost to the ponies in one of the many wars with them... There was something growing on the land that remained, but fish from numerous rivers would have been all they had to eat if not for the ponies, trading metals and precious stones for provisions. They were not very good miners, but, as they say, if you want to live - you will do even more... The second race of griffons, the lesser known, lived far to the south of Equestria, somewhere in the tropical forests. I wonder if that's where Daring Do happens?.. Ahem, okay. They were a cross between a jaguar and a parrot, their front part a riot of shapes and colors. They would talk a lot, lie, fib and fantasize, and they were almost as obsessed with money and riches as their northern cousins. Yeah... I have a feeling that griffons have a common ancestor - a damned crow! Some would kill themselves for a shiny thing... These citizens were pirating in all the waters they had around - ponies haven't marked other "achievements” on their part. They were universally despised and totally mistrusted by the northern griffons, but parrots hardly cared about that. But a third race of griffons has never been encountered by ponies: at least, there was no reliable record of it. Moreover, neither did they exist among the griffons themselves, turning this race, a hybrid of panther and owl, into something semi-legendary. In the griffon lore, they were often referred to as "Night Griffons" or even "Dark Griffons," who were widely credited with wielding some kind of secret magic, kidnapping, and all sorts of dark and macabre deeds under the cover of night. In short, these guys were a scary fairy tale, like me. I chuckled. *** 7. The Crystal Empire and ancient Equestria I was thinking some time ago - where did the Crystal Empire even come from and how is it connected to Equestria? This part’s about CE, ancient Equestria, and the sisters. It’s about everything :) The original ponies’ lands laid there, far to the north from Equestria, a long-long time ago, including the unicorn kingdom, whose center was a city made of crystals, which astound everyone's imagination. But not only unicorns lived there; there was also a great number of earthponies, and the horned ones usually enslaved them during wars and used them as cheap labor. It was the most advanced state of Equus: they had known steam power and standardization of production before the Great Winter. When cold weather came and ponies faced the question of the need to move from the places that had become extremely inhospitable, it was not very difficult for earth ponies and pegasi to solve it: the former lost their main value - fertile lands, so they had no other choice, the latter were able to take their capital - Cloudsdale - with them, having lost practically nothing. The issue was very different for the unicorns in the rich and beautiful Crystal City, whose endless libraries were filled with great knowledge and its vaults with powerful artifacts. Many estimated the losses from the relocation to be too high: in the end, not all unicorns agreed to leave their homeland (of course, saving behind their earthpony slaves) and leave all their considerable achievements to frost and desolation. Queen Platinum became the leader of the departing party, and one of her advisors of the Mi Amore clan led the rest. The new Queen believed that she could defend what the snow and storms had not yet consumed: knowing what the wendigos were, she believed that the abolition of slavery and universal reconciliation, along with powerful magic, could stop the cold spirits. Platinum, a staunch supporter of unicorn supremacy, considered Mi Amore Cadenza's plan a manifest of foolish idealism not worth counting on. Ironically, the former Queen soon had to change her mind... The softer, more tolerant Cadenza, however, still managed to implement her idea. A lot of effort had to be made to free the earth ponies and create a monolithic and friendly society so as not to give food for the spirits of cold and enmity, but, with a squeak, slavery was abolished, and the earth ponies gradually began to become full members of society. The artifact created by the Queen of Crystal City, the Crystal Heart, also helped greatly, giving a sense of empathy to the ponies around it, allowing them to feel the world as others felt it... The Queen's daughter, having succeeded her mother on the throne, continued this process with enthusiasm, managing, in the end, to virtually eliminate racial discrimination altogether. The wendigos were fought off. But there were enough problems without them: much was destroyed by the cold and winter, there was a shortage of resources, there was nowhere to grow food... They had to look for help from Equestria that had formed by this time. Equestria, still rather amorphous and uninhabited at the time, enthusiastically bought high-tech goods from the CI and trained its specialists in its universities in exchange for food and raw materials. However, there were those in the CI who believed that Equestria and its territories rightfully belonged to the Empire: its citizens and - most importantly - its former Queen had lent their hooves for the founding of a unified pony state in the south. As time went by this position only strengthened: the dependence on Equestria became too obvious and it frightened many people, and the fact that they stood together with Equestria in the War of Chaos, as usual, was too quickly forgotten... In the end, the war faction was led by a talented and powerful magician named Sombra. Being a good speaker and organizer, he managed to gather around himself - and around the throne - the vast majority of the supporters of the idea. When the reigning Queen once again refused to lay claim to Equestria, Sombra staged a military coup, declaring himself the King. The overthrown Queen and her few loyal ponies tried to flee to Equestria, but never made it through. Was she killed by the cold and dangers on the way or was her life cut short by the usurper - now there’s no way to find it out... The history of Equestria, on the other hand, has also seen many upheavals over the years. The young republic, created by the pony tribes united before the wendigo threat, was far from being a unified state: everyone there pulled the blanket over himself, and this amorphous structure existed in spite of, rather than thanks to. However, life was getting better: cities were being founded, fields plowed, surrounding territories explored and occupied... The latter led to what later became known as the War of Chaos: the ponies, at their misfortune, stumbled upon the lands of the spirit of chaos, Discord. He was terribly bored: nothing interesting had happened in a long time, and then, out of nowhere, the ponies showed up... The amusements and games invented by the spirit of chaos were harmless only in his own mind. Luckily, the spirit did not allow any casualties, but it hazardously destroyed all attempts to live a normal life. It was impossible to come to an agreement with him: today he agreed to the terms, tomorrow he changed them, and the day after tomorrow he got tired of following the agreements and simply stopped following them. It wasn't possible to defeat him by force either: you don't bring a knife to a gunfight... In the end, the Pony State was, in fact, ruled by Discord for some time, who, in the meantime, passionately pitted and reconciled ponies against each other. In this madness, many of the technologies and magical knowledge the unicorns had brought with them faded into oblivion: later, many things had to be reinvented... Equally poorly preserved is the history of this period: even its exact duration is unknown. However, it was by its end that the three ponies who changed the world appeared on the scene: Starswirl the Bearded and his strange followers - Celestia and Luna, which had both horns and wings at the same time. The wizard himself, who was quite old already at the time, was born in Equestria, but he learned a great deal from the knowledge of the immigrant unicorns, and much more on his own, being an extremely talented wizard. Starswirl was rightly considered one of the most powerful wizards of all time: he was the only unicorn who did not fall from exhaustion after the ritual of raising the Sun or the Moon. It is a well-known fact that day and night used to change by themselves: whose hooves - the wendigos' or Discord's - are credited with making it happen on their own at a certain point is unknown. Where Starswirl's apprentices came from is unknown even to them. For a time the young alicorns were taught magic by him, living among the ponies, but later disappeared, only to reappear as guardians of some Elements of Harmony and defeat Discord, turning him into a statue by never before seen magic. Luna and Celestia were transformed into national heroines. Which was very awkward for the supreme council of the Republic, which, with its many failures, looked pale in comparison. Taking advantage of the mage's absence, an idea that Starswirl had successfully torpedoed many times before was pushed through: force the sisters to participate in the ritual of the rise of the celestial bodies What was the council counting on, getting into a quarrel with Starswirl and putting the people's beloved heroines in danger, is unknown. It was hardly a balanced decision... However, its consequences were even more fatal for the council than they could had been: the alicorns easily dealt with the celestial bodies, feeling, at most, malaise, and also receiving cutie marks with the Sun and the Moon. A month later, with the active participation of the angry teacher and an enthusiastic crowd, Equestria became a kingdom. The older sister, Celestia, with her talent and interest in government was especially adored by the people, became the Queen, while the younger, Luna, who preferred seclusion and had a less glittering reputation, was given the title of Princess. Starswirl went missing soon after. The sisters were off their feet trying to find their teacher and friend, but it was all in vain. This loss hit Luna the hardest: Swirl was almost the only friend of the unsociable Princess... In the meantime, Equestria was rapidly evolving: establishing relationships with its neighbors, creating its own science and production with considerable participation of the Crystal Empire. Several generations had passed, but the alicorn sisters were still young... It was then that the Castle of the Two Sisters was built, as a home and a residence, and a laboratory where the alicorns tried to understand what they were. However, the relatively quiet times were inexorably coming to an end... A couple of decades later, there was a coup in the Crystal Empire and Sombra came to power. The Sisters learned of this, in fact, only when many agreements and treaties were broken: The Crystal Empire ceased its training and exchange programs, recalling its specialists, and its diplomats began to insist that the trade treaties under which Equestria received artifacts and technology be renegotiated, apparently no longer wanting to sell anything to its neighbors except for raw materials. Tension hung in the air. Intel was bringing bad news: Sombra was actively preparing for war. Though there was a strong desire in the CI to distance themselves from Equestria so as not to end up becoming its colony, only a few supported an outright war. But on that side was the color of the Empire's magical power, led by Sombra, and you either joined his war machine voluntarily - or you were forced to do so. Soon Equestria was given an ultimatum: either join the Crystal Empire on the basis that Equestria was founded by its Queen, or join the Crystal Empire on the basis of defeat in the war. The fact that most of the Equestrian specialists and magicians had been trained in Crystal City played a role here - not many of them were eager to fight SUCH wizards, and the image of the Crystal Empire as an enlightened and friendly state was very strong in society. Celestia quickly realized that with such inputs, the chances of winning a war were extremely low, but she was also aware that the Crystalists themselves were also going to fight under a leash in Sombra’s hooves and his, by this time, very few associates. Yes, fortunately for Equestria, by this time Sombra had almost no loyal associates left, and the unicorn himself was to blame: having come to the throne through a coup, feeling his support weakening, Sombra was keen on looking for traitors around him and, oddly enough, he was finding them. The paranoid wizard had practically shot dead all his previously very serious reputation by the outbreak of war, and all that remained was a few loyal ponies and personal power in which he allegedly exceeded Starswirl himself... The decision was obvious: without Sombra, there would be a great possibility of not starting the war. Celestia and Luna personally traveled to the Crystal Empire to fight Sombra, counting on the fact that there was no one left in his entourage who was capable of actually continuing the course of the war after his death. The battle did not go well from the start. Sisters, who previously defeated Discord and changed day and night fatally underestimated "some" unicorn - a master of crystal magic, dark magic and artifact science, bearing the well-deserved title of archmage. But Sombra was not strong enough to handle two alicorns alone... However, the unicorn's paranoia played in his favor: he feared the sisters' visit, and prepared for it, expecting to trap them and put them in stasis until he could find a way to defeat them if he could not fight openly. The trap worked, but it wasn't able to hold the power of two alicorns... Celestia barely managed to drag herself and her sister out of the collapsing area before she turned around to see a snowy wasteland instead of Crystal City. It was as if the Crystal Empire was erased from reality. Upon her return, Celestia was frantic in her work: the past crisis had exposed too many problems, and the break with the CI had hurt Equestria's own education, production, magic, and medicine, which now desperately lacked both specialists and the ability to train them... Alas, while she immersed herself in solving the problems of the state, Tia sowed the seeds of problems in her own little family... Author's Note Now, with all of these chapters being published, I can surely say "The End". Good luck everyone in the upcoming year. I know that the farther we go, the worse it gets, but... As a proverb goes, "The hope dies the last". It feels so strange to have it ended after like what, 1.5 years? But there's always an end. Hope it's a good one. Listen to "Overkill", be good boys and girls, don't hesitate to mark mispellings and stuff. Goodbye.
Epilogue II. A Step Into The FutureSomething has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.
1. A Simple QuestionEverything is strange here. For a dead person, I’m thinking too much. There are no chances of being alive after that, even in theory. It was a very bright finale, a finale of which there’d be nothing left to bury. Is it surprising that I feel terrible? It is, because I have no right to feel anything at all. My right leg is aching, my ribs are burning, again, on my right. I can feel iron in my mouth, and I can barely capture my own chaotic thoughts due to the splitting headache. I can't think... In this state, people would probably begin to ask questions like “Who am I?” and “Where am I?” Maybe it's an absurd thought, but I can't think of others. Really, why not? It's a simple question. “Who am I?” There is an unforgettable, nasty feeling, like when you take your paper for an examination and you see a very easy question on top. You’re the first one to come to the teacher, to take a seat, to read the question, to wait for an approving nod for this very simple and trivial answer... and with fear, you realize - you have nothing to say! Only a minute ago you knew the answer, yet it's completely out of your memory! You perplexedly look at the treasonous question card. “I know this question! There is a very obvious answer! Nothing serious! What was it?!” The teacher curves an eyebrow ironically as he says, “I expected more from the brave one who came to me with such confidence.” You're frustrated, you listen to how the clock ticks in the crushing silence of the auditory, and only one thought is in your head. “I know, I definitely know! What was it, God damn it?!” Well, it could have even been funny, if this feeling hadn't brought up a really trivial question: “Who am I?” Trying to calm down. Okay, step by step, what do I remember? I’m a man. Male. Well, anything else? It's hard to concentrate, my thoughts are mushing up, raging, crushing with each other... Name, what is my name? Nothing. Empty. Like a slimy snake, fear is crawling into my heart. No. No-no-no! Your own name - it's not what you can just forget! Remember!!! COME ON!!! Okay, calm down! Panicking will not help! Let’s take a look from another side: What did others call me? My relatives, my friends? And now it's really frightening. I had relatives and friends, I had! I know it, I'm absolutely sure! But I can't remember their faces, their names, nothing! I frantically travel through my memories: fragments of some conversations, emotions, feelings... Conversations with whom? Whom are these emotions for? I almost feel how fear becomes a sticking terror. How is it possible? What should I do? I can't forget this! Did I really forget it all? What do I even remember? I try to catch my last thought, like a drowning man tries to catch anything, that can help him, even a straw. Its logicality and rationality barely allow to quell the rising panic. Maybe, I can find something in my other memories? Then, like a chain reaction, I will remember everything! Right?! Surprisingly, impersonal information can be found very easily and is frighteningly clear. The keyboard layout, the scheme of assembling and disassembling of an AK-74M, the scheme of steam engine, the most effective way of clearing rust from a kettle, the recipe of the “Mimosa” salad - all in extreme detail. Many of these memories, one would think, forgotten long ago because of uselessness. And sadly, complete absence of even a bit of personal information. But I do remember something, and that helps me to slightly calm myself. Panic gradually becomes cold-blooded emptiness and depressive grief about losing something important, something... No, I can't remember what it is. A heavy sigh automatically exits my mouth. Ah, damn it! It’s painful! A deep inhale replies with a shot of pain in my right side. What is wrong with me?! Where am I?! With a heavy apathy these questions are not so interesting for me, but with a force of will, I turn my attention to them, just to stop thinking about... just to stop thinking. I start concentrating on my feelings. My head was aching heavily, and it felt as if something like a fiery dowel was hammered into my forehead. My eyes are closed, I’m lying on my belly, and the surface is solid and chilly, like concrete. My pose is not comfortable, my left hand, on which my poor head is resting, is swollen and I can barely feel it. My right side aches annoyingly, like I hit something against it very hard. It seems like nothing special, but how these “annoying aches” turn into sharp, painful shots from each inhalation, it leads to not so optimistic thoughts. My right leg, seemingly, got its part too, but it's unclear how serious it is. I can feel something like a deserted and distinctive metal spice of blood in my mouth. And there’s more... I hear voices? Yes, someone is talking, but it's like through a pillow; I can't make out the words. But I swear to God, I can hear sobbing. What the heck is going on here? I don't like this at all... I open my eyes. A small stone rise is before me, and I can hear conversation somewhere behind it. Raise a little, raise my head... Having my head dropped again, I shut my eyes, trying to come to terms with what I just saw. And what do I do with all of this? Either my head is even more broken than I thought or, as the saying goes, something far worse. It’s not a big problem to recognize the scene from my selective defective memory. Eight multicolored horses, a big one, with a multicolored mane, that waves as though it is in the wind, hugs a smaller dark blue one with her wing. Both are crying with all their hearts, saying something to each other; the other six are just standing by in a semicircle. It's not clear what they’re doing from my point of view. But considering the only one, whose muzzle I can see, her eyes are filled with tears, that she furtively brushes aside these with her hoof. Around me is a destroyed hall, big lancet windows without glass; cracked and ivy-cloaked columns; a ceiling with many holes in it. I watched the cartoon, so memory is reporting about the seen situation with details: The Elements of Harmony set Princess Celestia free and brought back the good side of her sister - Princess Luna. And this just happened, in the half-ruined castle of the Two Sisters, somewhere in the Everfree forest, which is situated in the friendly and magic country of Equestria. Of course, there would be a question about, “Which of the mad houses of the city am I in?” But... What's the point of these thoughts, if there was no way I could have survived?! And more, it feels so realistic... Well, let's pretend for a moment, that this situation is real, then a question appears, "From what point of view am I seeing it?". If I remember the canon right, there can't be any more than these eight. Am I laying here in my own body? If it's true, I can't understand what it is, as the memory of my own appearance is completely gone with my name as well. I sadly chuckle at this thought. I open my eyes again and look at my left hand... No, it’s definitely not a hand! Long, maybe even an elegant limb, covered with black fur, and at the end there’s slightly rumpled and scratched silver... What’s the name for it? Looks like a part of some armor. God damn it, I’m forgetting like a low scorer on an exam! If it’s not a hand, then it’s a leg, and it's a shoe on it! Am I really a pony? Fantastic... Wait, stop. A bad feeling is looming In the corner of my mind. Something looks suspicious, I can feel it... What? Black, velvety looking, fur? I think not, not this... A leg? A leg instead of a hand - it's like... but no, this is not the issue either... To be precise, not the leg itself! It’s tall, almost until the knee, silver, slightly shabby. And I saw things like that were worn in the cartoon by... I tear my dry tongue off the palate, lead it through my teeth - travelling over really big fangs, not fit for a pony. Even for human beings these are too untypical! Especially when you find that there are eight on up and down of the jaw! The longest ones, three or four centimeters long, were by the edges of an unusually square jaw, and they were slightly curved inwards, slim and sharp. Considering all this, my body, and the situation around... Did I panic when I didn’t know who I was? Well, it seems, that now I do. Fucking hell...
2. The Separated HouseSo where did I start? With the question “Who am I?” Well, there's an answer now. I’m an alicorn mare, the name's Nightmare Moon. Occupation: villain, tyrant, usurper. And I’m about to get fired for service inconsistency with a one-way ticket right to the Moon, for about a thousand years. I shudder. A man starts going nuts after between one and a half or two months of complete loneliness. If I find myself on the Moon - then in a year nothing will be left of me. I don't want it! Just not like this! Even dying would be better than watching as your mind fades away, fully aware of your powerlessness... How has Nightmare handled it? A chill runs down my spine when I suddenly realize: she hasn't - otherwise I wouldn't be here. What has happened to her? Suddenly I feel dizzy, everything around fades to darkness and a waterfall of alien memories falls upon me, from which my overloaded mind chaotically manages to pull some fragments... ...Night. The Moon is bright, and there are countless stars in the sky. I stand on the balcony and look at the sleeping city. There are no lights in the windows, the streets are empty. There are no stargazing couples, nor there are any patrolling guards, not even drunk revelers, making their way home from the tavern. Again, I look at the sky. What am I doing wrong? So much labor invested into these beautiful constellations, but no one is looking at them. Perhaps, I haven't thought of everything and the night isn't beautiful enough? No, it probably isn't. Maybe add something to the Moon and stars? Yet I am still hurt: there is a mistake somewhere, no one doesn't like my night again. I’m unable to hold back a sigh... ...Yes! That’s exactly what was needed! What a beauty it has turned out to be! A large area in the night sky is now occupied by a picturesque nebula, like a starry cloud. Well, it was pretty challenging to create! I am surprised to understand that I am tired and feel sleepy. At night! I lay my sight on the fantastic-looking nebula. No, it was worth it, for sure. Everypony will like this night! I can afford some rest after this. I smile... ...I come for brunch, for once not tired after a sleepless night; I am fresh and well rested. My soul is singing. “Hello, sister!” “Greetings, Luna. It has been a while since I saw you in such a great mood.” “Tia, have you seen my night? You probably stayed pretty late with the documents? Or at dawn, before raising the Sun? Tell me, was it great? Did you like it?” I can't hold my emotions and keep tossing questions to my sister. “Night? Sorry, Luna, I’m afraid I did not pay proper attention as I had too much work lately...” Tia smiles guiltily. “I... I understand.” My good mood melts in an instant. “So be it; I shall repeat it today. Promise me that you will look tonight, okay?” “Okay, Luna, I promise.” My sister smiles again, encouragingly this time. My melting mood rises a bit again... ...Bitterness, resentment, anger. “Sister, you have promised!” “I’m sorry that it has turned out this way. My royal duties required my attention and...” “You just don't need me!” An accusation flies out of my mouth by itself. How many times have I heard such excuses for a variety of reasons? “Princess Luna! Stop that tantrum of yours and keep calm! What do you think you're doing?” It's not my sister in front of me, it's Her Highness Queen Celestia of Equestria. Heavy, apathetic eyes, a smooth expression on her face - only her nostrils are flaring with anger. She is not sorry! She just doesn’t care. I blink away the unwanted tears. “As you wish, your Highness.” My voice trembles. “May I leave to my quarters?” “You may go, Princess.” ...The damned tears just won't go away! I look in the mirror in front of me with pure hate. “Why is she doing that? Why is some dinner with those arrogant, small-minded nobles more important to her than her own sister?” I ask the empty room. “Because I’m not her sister, I am Princess Luna of Equestria!” I reply to myself. “I must carry out my duties and... what does she say? “Don’t let personal feelings interfere with the cause” I diligently mock Celestia. I hear a knock on the door, and before I can do anything, a pegasus messenger appears in the doorway. Didn't even wait for permission to enter, such a brute. “Your Majesty! Her Highness Queen Celestia would like...” I hear slight disregard as he says ‘Your Majesty’. "GET OUT OF HERE!!” A shockwave of the Royal Canterlot Voice launches the Queen's messenger away. I slam the door shut with telekinesis and block it with an arcane shield. “I don't give a buck what this royal nag wants! Let her go to windigos with her "likes"!” I don't know if I’m happy or sad that the last phrases won't leave this room due to the barrier. I non aristocratically flop down on the pillows in front of the mirror. My mind is empty and cold. ...It’s evening. Soon I will have to raise the Moon. I’m currently strolling around the roads of Canterlot, escorted by a couple of guards. Where to? Wherever the road will take me. The castle, the one we had created with my sister, doesn't feel like “home” anymore. Recently familiar walls are closing in on me now. Even the garden doesn't bring me the peace I have always had here. I don't know why my wings brought me to the capital, searching for inner peace. It's unlikely to be found, especially here. I hardly notice the passersby, that are bowing to me. They greet me: “Your Majesty!” They give short, brief nods - it’s all within etiquette, but no more than that. No excitement or respect: just because it's supposed to be like this. “Unlike my sister!” A sad thought appears. Meanwhile, I have arrived at a place unfamiliar to me: I’m somewhere away from the main streets. I hear some foals playing nearby. “Red! Brick! Come home!” A mare calls, probably them. “But mom!” Two disappointed, childish voices respond. “It's gonna get dark soon! You’ll finish tomorrow. Hurry up, dinner is ready!” “Oh. Let's go? Otherwise, mom will be sad.” Says one of the foals, a filly. “Let's go, Red.” Answers the colt. “Why do we even need this night? I’m not even tired yet!” “Yeah.” The filly sighs. “We could play some more if there was no night...” The sound of my teeth grinding fills my ears... *** I made up with Celestia after that incident. Well, kind of... all the necessary words were said and accepted, but some kind of alienation is still left between us, like a giant crack. I felt as if this crack would only grow later. “Tia?” I ask as I put away another folder with documents. “Hm?” She looks away from the papers. “Why does nopony like my night? Why does everypony like your day, your Sun, but they don’t care about what I do?” “Again, Luna?” Celestia rolls her eyes, sighing. “You are overreacting! Your nights allow our subjects to have some rest and get strength for the next day, they are very important!” “And that’s why you didn't come that night, because they are very important.” I quietly grumble. “I said I’m sorry!” How did she hear me? “Also, did we distract ourselves? Then we have got enough rest! Let's continue the work; the documents won't sign themselves!” “Tia...” “Luna! We can talk about stuff later! Ok, back to work.” The Queen cuts me off. About stuff? All I do for her is stuff! For her and everypony else! As if I’m something unimportant... sighing, I pull the folder towards myself. The letters are blurry for some reason... *** ...Pillows and the mirror, again. “I am the unwanted one here.” My voice lacks any emotion. Just a statement of a fact. After realising that, should I disappear without a trace, only Celestia would notice... after a couple of days. “No, my sister needs me, Equestria needs me! I raise the Moon, help Tia sort the documents, conduct meetings and ceremonies, hear some cases in court...” “But nopony wants my Moon and my nights, and the Queen can easily conduct ceremonies without my help. She would find some pretty secretaries, and that's it.” “But she can't trust them, as she trusts me!” “Yeah, as if she trusts me! If it's papers, then she will give me some official program for the minor royal reception, taking the budget herself, and if I offer any help, she would send me away to work on the law about proper care for pigs - or something similar in terms of importance! If it's litigation, she would give me the dispute about a meter of fence, but a case about murder she would take herself! It's everything, but trust!” I angrily say to the mirror. I stop upon realizing, that I was sitting and talking to myself out loud. Maybe, it should have caused me concern about my own well-being, but for some reason I only have a bitter smile on my face. “Is it nice to talk to a smart pony, Luna? The one that understands you,” I quietly laugh. Am I going insane? For some reason this thought makes me slightly annoyed... *** ...I stand on the balcony, looking at the sunset. I need to raise the Moon, decorate the sky with constellations, star clusters... I don't want to... If somepony needs it, then he ought to do it! If nopony needs it, neither do I! I’m sick of it! I’m fed up! “Luna, good evening.” Says my sister. How long has it been since we talked about anything with a cup of tea? “Evening, Tia. Not sure about the good part.” I hear a sigh behind my back. “Moping about again?” Celestia asks with a slight reproach. “Is there a reason to be happy?” I hum sadly in response. “I don't see it.” “How about raising the Moon and night? Isn't that a reason? You always liked your nights.” I don’t even need to look at my sister to know she’s smiling. “Nopony needs them, except for me.” I hear a sigh again, this time an ostentatiously deep one. I bet you everything that she followed up with a facehoof. “I’m tired, Tia. Even from the beautiful, but useless nights. I won't raise the Moon, and create stars tonight. I bet that nobody will notice the bottomless inky darkness above their head.” In an uncomfortable silence that hangs for a few seconds, I hear a fly hitting a window. “Princess Luna, let me remind you that you, as the Princess of the Night have a duty to our country and our subjects! And you must do your duty properly, despite your feelings! The same way, as We, Queen Celestia, do ours!” I feel how the Queen is furiously looking at me even with my back turned. She doesn’t care what I feel and what is happening to me. She doesn't understand me. I hate her, this soulless Queen that I see instead of my sister. I close my eyes, finding my link with the Moon, and dump energy into it, practically yanking the Moon onto the sky. “Happy now? I’m going to bed.” I angrily spit out my words to the Queen and making a sharp turn, almost running away from the balcony, barely fighting the urge to push the surprised Celestia out of my way... *** ...Pillows, mirror. I start talking to myself again. “If nopony likes your nights, then you must make them! Let the night last forever! And then they will see...” “No, you can’t just force anypony to like it!” “Just a few did notice the beauty of night! The rest don't even know what they are losing! You work hard, and what do you get? Indifference, disregard and even disdain! It can't go on like this!” “This is not what my folk would want! Not what Equestria needs! And my sister...” “Is there much left of your sister in this embodiment of arrogance, Luna? Maybe you need a sister, but she doesn't! Do your duty, Princess! - this is all she needs!” I shockingly inspect my reflection in the mirror. I want to object, but I can't. Where did my caring older sister Tia go? The one that loved me and helped me? Yes, I behaved like a resentful foal today! But that, to my shame, happened before too. And Tia would come and hug me, asking, ‘What's the matter?’ and would cheer her silly little sister up. She has changed a lot lately, and not for the better. “Neither have I.” I hum sadly into the mirror. “I’m complaining more than usual. Tia has enough problems already, so she loses her temper.” “And you are the target. Not the servants or guards, not the annoying aristocracy, but her own sister!” “We are not alien to each other; she hopes that I will understand her and...” I try to reassure myself. An involuntary hysterical sigh shows that I am bad at it... *** ...I burst into Celestia's cabinet. “Sister, we need to talk. Now!” “What is it, Luna?” Tia replies discontentedly. It looks like she has an idea what I’m about to ask, and she doesn't want to have that conversation. “Would you kindly explain why all my batpony guards disappeared, and why there are your royal guards instead of them? “It's... complicated, Luna,” Celestia winced. “Two ponies have disappeared this week and city guards still can't find any clues...” “And? What has it to do with my guards?!” “Luna, let me finish! You are well aware of what ponies think about your creatures! Yesterday I was visited by a delegation of aristocrats and other residents: they are suspicious that it might have been...” “My guards? It's complete and utter nonsense!!! And you know it!” Celestia looked at me, displeased. I stare back at her. She can't believe this absurdity! “Ponies are afraid of your batponies. I have had to temporarily remove them from the castle until the situation is investigated just to keep the city calm! Sister, I promise, as soon as everything has returned to normal, I will immediately order your guards back.” “Tia! You know how batponies treat me! They would never do anything without my order! Or do you trust the aristocracy more than me?” Rage clouds my mind. I almost growl at my sister. Celestia must be feeling sorry since she hasn't snapped to her favorite commanding voice yet. “Do you trust me, at least a bit?” I don’t know what answer I am expecting and if I even want to hear it. I'm about to take my words back, but Tia replies faster. “I do, Luna.” She smiles timidly. Hypocritical lies. The rage instantly dissipates, allowing for melancholic indifference to take place. It would have been better if she stayed silent, rather than answering like that... Or barked at me with her favorite: “Princess Luna, your demeanor...” “So, you trust me....” My voice sounds quiet and colorless. “That's why I find out about this not from you in advance, but after the fact, from some random guard. Fine, I won't disturb your work.” I leave in silence, carefully closing the door behind me. My soul is cold and empty... *** ...Shore of a lake. It’s night, quiet and deserted. I look at the reflection. The teal eyes with vertical pupils are looking at me. Turns out, hate might be a very powerful source of energy. I smile at my reflection: the reflection bares its fangs in response. This look matches my mood perfectly... The meeting with the captain of the Night Guard went successfully. However, it couldn't be otherwise: my guards are even ready to tear a dragon with their teeth for me. At least someone still believes in me. It’s them - my folk! Them, not the ponies of Equestria, the ones that don't need me, my night or my batponies! It's the first time I think that there is some rationality in Nightmare's idea to overthrow Celestia and become the Queen of Equestria myself. This way I can take care of anypony who still cares about me, become somepony really needed and important. And the batponies, who don't like the Sun, will love the endless night... *** ...Again, I am sitting in front of the mirror. “The captain assured me of the devotion of the Night Guard personally. But I am still unsure whether I want to use this devotion. Especially the way you suggest.” “Do you see a better option?” With these words my reflection in the mirror changes, and now teal eyes with vertical pupils are looking at me. This is not the first time I see this transformation, but it still creeps me out. “We have already discussed it, more than once.” “No, I don't.” I grimly confess. “But I still think, that overthrowing my sister, and taking her place is wrong. Even if we don't understand each other anymore...” “Sister, that doesn't get sick of spitting in your heart! Yesterday she secretly disbanded your Night Guards just because the nobles wanted her to, today she'll proscribe the batpony presence in the cities, and tomorrow, she will expel you, because the aristocracy would say that you are dangerous, unreliable and simply useless, so leaving you in the castle...” “You are overreacting, Nightmare! Celestia would never do that!” “Until recently you have thought she wouldn't deceive you. Now what, Luna?” I don’t know what now. My world, it used to be perfect a few months ago. Now it's being torn apart, like a piece of paper. Something is happening with both of us: my beloved sister Tia is turning into an arrogant Her Highness Celestia, and I... I find comfort and understanding in the company of a reflection in the mirror. I have even named it. And the further it goes, the more I think it's not just a reflection. I smile sadly. “I am you. We are parts of a whole, Luna.” Nightmare replies. It looks like I spoke the last part out loud. And, it seems like I completely went insane, if a mirror replies to me... *** It’s morning, and I’m having breakfast with Celestia. We haven't met each other at breakfast for some time, I prefer to be alone, in my quarters, but the Queen wanted to see me, she even sent a formal invitation. I wanted to write her a formal decline on six sheets of paper, but I didn't have time. Well, have to attend. “Luna, what is happening to you lately? I don't recognize you.” And I - don't recognize you, Tia. I’m bitter from the fact, that a fleeting thought about a growing crack between us was a prophecy. “And what is happening to me? Don't I manage my Princess duties?” Maybe, it's not the best idea to talk like that, but I don't want to restrain myself. My wish to flee the castle has been very strong lately. I’m sick of this place. But I will be found, and Celestia will take her time to explain my responsibilities, duties, then assign twenty pegasi as “Guards of honor” that will follow me even in the dining room, and think: Why was I assigned to babysit this hysteric fool? “This is what is happening!” She pointed an accusing hoof at me. “You are withdrawn, spiteful, and avoiding me.” It looks like Celestia really doesn't understand what is happening! Great. Yesterday she said: It's not a proper reason to be sad, stop thinking about such insignificant things! And today she doesn't understand a thing! I will try. Again. For the last time! “You don't understand me, Tia. I have tried to explain, but you don't care about my problems. Nobody needs neither my night, nor my work with insignificant papers. Even I am not needed! You don't trust me, my guards...” I stop upon Celestia's gaze. She isn't sorry or understanding, I only see disappointment and irritation. “Would you kindly, stop pretending that you are the only one who has it hard!” Celestia angrily says. “Do you think it's easy for me? But I don't whine and complain, I go and do my duty, as should you! The results of my work sometimes feel useless too, but it doesn't mean that's true!” An awkward pause hangs for a few seconds. “I'd love to have your imaginary problems, Princess Luna. Grow up, for goddess's sake.” The Queen abruptly gets up, and leaves the room. My gaze follows her, in oppressive silence. Imaginary problems! Her words ring like an alarm bell inside my head. She doesn’t need a sister; she needs Princess Luna - I remember Nightmare’s words. *** ...Familiar lake, and it’s night. A mighty batpony stands before me, wearing the Night Guard armor. Dark yellow, almost orange eyes with vertical slits look at me. “Are your warriors ready, captain?” “Yes, Your Majesty. Unfortunately, we are few in numbers: we could only gather 57 soldiers with the little time we had. If we had at least one more week, we could have got more than 130...” “We don't have that much time, Our loyal captain. We’ll have to strike with the amount we have at hoof. Celestia's guard may outnumber us, but by early morning the majority of her guards would be in the barracks. We, The Princess of the Night, will cast a spell to induce sleep, so that Our Night Guard has enough time to carry out its mission. The mission of our Night guard lies in assuring that Celestia's guards can't come to rescue her and intervene in our battle!” “We won't let you down, Your Majesty!” The captain’s eyes recklessly flashed in the dark. My batponies and the Queen's guard didn't get along from the start, which is unsurprising, considering the fact nopony trusts us. And after what happened, it can be expected, that my ponies would want to get even with Celestia's guards. “What will be the signal to attack?” “Look at the sky, Captain. You won’t mistake it with anything else.” My lips are stretching into a sinister, but sincere smile. “Are there any other orders, Your Majesty?” “There is one. You know well, how small and young Our batpony tribe is. Don't risk your lives without need.” “I... We... Yes, Your Majesty!” The captain bows... *** ...It's ready. Breastplate, heavy, armored hoofplates, and a helmet. My glaive floats nearby. I look into the mirror: the armor is polished and sits perfectly. Sometime ago, I think, I was checking my equipment before the battle with Sombra the same way. But that time my sister stood with me... and now she is against me. How could we have come to this? Why? “It’s not too late to stop” I whisper to my reflection. “It's not, but what will it give you?” The reflection rapidly changes, acquiring predatorial traits of Nightmare Moon. “Your sister doesn't need you anymore. And Equestria has never even cared about you! This can't go on, Luna. Today we have our chance to change it!” “To change it... but will it be for the better?” Now, when there’s only a single step left, I am torn apart by doubts. “If it can't get worse, then why care? If you retreat now, you will never forgive your weakness. You would carry on your pathetic existence of a toy-like princess and cry into the pillow every night, understanding, that you could have changed something, but you haven't! Is that what you want?!” “No, Nightmare, it isn’t. But I am afraid to make a mistake. What if Celestia was right? What if I am the reason for all of this?” Uncertainty, fear of the future. Why is it so hard? “Do you want to tolerate attacks from the arrogant Queen, that used to be your sister? Go on! And you will be the first to see her completely turn into a tyrant like Sombra.” I shiver. It’s as if Nightmare Moon saw my worst dream... I am afraid of what my sister Tia is turning into. How far could it go? My only hope is that her defeat will reduce her feeling of self-importance. And Nightmare is right: if I don't do anything, then everything will go to that finale. I won't forgive myself for my weakness and hesitancy. I discard my doubts. The reflection in the mirror flashes its eyes in approval. *** …The Castle of the Royal Pony Sisters. It’s where it all started, so it’s only fitting that this place should be where it ends. It has always been something special for me and my sister: we were looking for a place together, designed it, built it... Debated about schemes of secret passages, cussed, made up, and finally, found compromises... Despite its status of a summer residence and remoteness from big cities, I considered it my home. But now... Anyway, everything will change today, and soon I could call this place home again. This is where I will rule Equestria from after my victory. I never liked Canterlot. Also today is the day of Summer Sun Celebration, the Queen's favorite, and the longest day of the year. “How symbolic.” I chuckle It's time to bring the Moon down. I pour the energy in my connection to the astronomical body, and witness as it slowly creeps under the horizon. The stars go out as the sky brightens. And now let's start! I concentrate on the spell and direct it towards the guard barracks in the castle. Well, I have just ruined Celestia's guard achievements list with a massive absence on their posts. “At least they will get some proper sleep now.” I laugh at my own joke. The only ones that are left are the patrols and the guards in the dungeon and the central buildings of the castle. But it's not that much, and after a sleepless night they won't be able to give any proper retaliation. Celestia hasn't changed her habits; she raises the Sun slowly, in her pretentious pose on a huge balcony of the tallest tower of the castle, despite the fact there is no crowd watching her - only a few maids and the inhabitants of nearby villages. I make it in time. The Queen bathes in the Sun with her eyes closed. I quietly stop behind her back, leaving my glaive aside: maybe there is a possibility of a peaceful conclusion. I don’t believe that is real, but the faint hope makes me try. For a few moments, squinting, I look at the dawn. Stop wasting time! I concentrate on my connection with the Moon, and bring it onto the sky. Celestia, feeling that the Sun is going in the shadow, opens her eyes, shocked, and stares at the majestic sight of an eclipse. I too, enthusiastically look at my hoofwork: the black disk of the Moon, surrounded by the shining crown of the Sun attracts the sight. How could one not like this picture? This beauty, this night must go forever! Celestia turns back with a lost expression on her face, and flinches when she notices me. “Good morning, Sister.” My voice is low. Now, it all depends on her and her reaction. “Luna?! You... But... Why are you... What is happening?” “What does it look like, Tia?” I grimly smile. A faint hope is shining inside of me, a hope that my older sister would come, hug me with her wing, ask what has happened, closely listen, propose a solution, that would please both of us... a hope that everything would turn back to normal! One look is enough to understand: no, it won't turn back to normal. Again, I see not the loved and loving older sister, but cold, haughty and indifferent Queen. Her raging gaze says: ‘She dares to oppose ME?!’ Her brows are shifted, with her eyes squinted, and her words are sharp and short. I don't listen to what she says, it is easy to infer anyway, and why would I even care? I look my sister in the eyes, searching for at least a tinge of her concern, compassion, involvement! I look and don’t find it. The Queen ends her angry speech and now drills me with her disgusted sight, as if asking: do you have anything to say in your defense, Princess Luna? “Where are you, sister? I miss you...” I bitterly say. Celestia flinches. A hope is alight, that not everything is lost, that Tia is still alive in this pile of ice... “Princess Luna! It's weird to mention your kinship considering the situation at hoof, don’t you think?” The Queen menacingly spits. The hope burns out and falls as black ash on my heart. As if the soul itself is dissipating with these words, leaving this black ash and ice-cold emptiness. It's over. There is no sister. There is only this pathetic, grotesque parody that looks like Tia. And I will scatter the ashes of this imitation! I will tear it apart! Incinerate it! DESTROY IT! Instead of hope, now hate is alight with a crimson flame inside of me. I feel how might is spreading through my veins. This feeling is euphoric, it forces an insane grin to appear on my face. The Queen's accusatory speech breaks off, and when I open my eyes, I see fear on her face. I see my reflection in the windows - coal-black fur, glowing turquoise eyes with a vertical slit, fangs bared in a creepy grin. I am Nightmare Moon; I will take what is mine! I grab my glaive with telekinesis. “You no longer need to sacrifice for your people. You no longer need to bear the weight of your crown. I've taken care of everything!” A low, doubling voice suits me. I slowly approach Celestia. “What is this, what are you doing, Luna?” Celestia says with a panicking voice, while retreating to the second exit. What, are you afraid now, Your Highness? There is less pride in her voice, she doesn't feel like screaming at Luna, huh? “Succeeding you, sister!” I practically spit the last word. There is no more sister, this is a mere imitation, but not her. And this is why I will drown her in her own blood! Celestia manages to get ahold of herself at the last moment and dodge the strike. Just a little piece of mane stays on the floor. The Queen, understanding that I am a better flyer than her, starts fleeing inside the castle. I follow. The silver shoes rumble on the stone floor, my trusty weapon floats nearby. This is the first time this year I feel confident and calm. My victory is close. Soon everypony will see my might! The beauty of my night! They will look at me with the same adoration, that they lavished Celestia with! Yes, the Queen is weak; she is trying to run away from me. But she won't hide from her fate, I know this castle as well as she does - she won't hide. Sooner or later, she will be cornered, and will have to fight. And she won't win... *** ...Lightning strikes the Queen's magic shield and I momentarily dash to close the distance, while she is unable to see through the ripples of her own barrier. The blade, filled with my energy, pierces Celestia's shield, meeting almost no resistance. “Meet your death, Queen!” I say as short, evil laughter leaves my mouth. She won't be able to dodge, and the ceremonial gold breastplate is no match for my weapon. THIS IS VICTORY! Before my eyes, for a moment, a surprisingly clear picture appears: my sister, laying in front of me, lifts her head and tries to say something, but only a scary rattle can be heard, followed by coughs. Blood emerges from her mouth, staining her white fur. She drops her head on the floor, stained with scarlet red. Her gazed eyes, look at me with reproach... NO! I manage to deflect the fatal strike at the last moment. Instead of piercing the torso of the white alicorn, the glaive's blade leaves a deep cut on Celestia's right shoulder. The enemy screams as she falls on her wounded leg. The red blood on her white fur looks unreal. “Luna...” I hear a whisper as I meet Celestia's gaze. In her tearful eyes, I see my own glowing turquoise merciless draconic eyes. I avert my gaze. I almost killed her! My sister! "Meet your death, Queen!" A sense of triumph and spiteful jubilation. What have I become? ‘The thing she has made of you!’ The voice in my head says. Maybe it is so. But I can't kill her, because there, inside her soul, my sister Tia still could be alive! I can't kill this monster, paying the price of her life. I raise my eyes again to look upon Celestia. “Luna, why?!” “The time for words is over, Queen!” I heavily say in response. “Because Luna's words were an empty vibration of the air! And I am not Luna anymore! My name is Nightmare Moon! Concede while you can, Your Highness, don’t make me take extreme measures!” With my glaive ready I approach my barely standing enemy. One more step... And Celestia's horn glows with energy, I create a shield to block her attack, but instead she disappears in a flash of teleportation. She couldn’t have gone far, she must be somewhere around here! Behind me! Instantly I turn around, and I see how Queen jumps out of the window, crushing the stained glass with her body. WHERE ARE YOU GOING?! You won't flee! I rush to the window with a furious growl... *** ...The Elements of Harmony spin around Celestia. “Luna, please, stop! I am guilty! Forgive me! Just stop, please...” “Enough of your lies, Queen! You don't care and never did about Luna! You don't ask for forgiveness; you are just trying to save your life and crown!” An evil grin appears on my face. She is so pathetic, this empty husk, the one that used to be my favorite older sister, used to be my Tia. HATE YOU! My energy fills the glaive's blade, making it shine with turquoise light. “Luna, don't do it, you are nothing like it, sister! Don’t make me use the elements!” “I am like YOU created me, sister! And the Elements not just yours, but mine too! Or you really think they will allow one keeper to use it against the other? How ludicrous!” I charge, preparing to strike... *** ...Unthinkable! Incomprehensible! Impossible! HOW?! How Queen could distort the Elements of Harmony, so they not only would work in this monster's hooves, but also harm me, their keeper! Through the bright streams of magic, I see crying Celestia. “I am sorry, Luna! Forgive me! I-I...” I am being mercilessly pulled towards the Moon, which still covers the Sun. It's a defeat, but this is not the end, Queen! When I return, you will pay for everything! FOR EVERYTHING!!! “I HATE YOU!!!” Everything gets dark...
3. A Second ChanceThere’s this feeling I have. It’s like I somehow got into a water tunnel, and am drowning, being carried away by this stream somewhere in depth. I’m concentrating, trying to force thoughts out of my head, abruptly shaking it, trying to get out of this flood of thought forms. I feel a sharp pain in my forehead and temples as a force of will finally gave a result, allowing me to emerge from someone else’s memories in reality. O-oh. That was... Something. Like I was there by myself. I won't even guess what could have happened to me if I had decided to watch further. I could have dissolved and become Nightmare Moon? I could change myself? I don't know. And what's more - these memories, strangely, had given me an understanding, that all around me is a reality, even if it's not native for me. Firstly, when I saw ponies, I had some brief thoughts, of course, that I somehow survived and now lie with a dropping tube in my vein, watching very colorful hallucinations, but after seeing the memories I couldn't take it as hallucinations. Everything was so... Natural. The sounds, the smells, the feelings, and, most importantly, the emotions. Luna's sadness and solitude, when she was left behind, indifference and annoyance of Celestia, who was overrun by her endless duty, Nightmare Moon's boiling hate to Queen... Nightmare Moon. What is she? Why and during which moment did she become a person? Did she recognize herself or was just Luna's reflection? Who are you, Nightmare Moon?... It seems that I should seek answers by myself in that stream of memories, where I almost drowned... However, I have to think about more urgent things. About ME asking myself “What to do next?” Try to contact and convince everyone in my own harmlessness? After all I’ve done? Yeah... If not that, then what? I’m, mildly speaking, not in a good condition, and there’s a savage forest around for many kilometers, being occupied by all kinds of rapacious beasts. Unless... I couldn't figure this out. One of the Element’s shouts forced me out of pondering. “Umm... Your Highness, well...” Very capaciously Applejack exposed the problem and waved a hoof in my direction. The piece of art “Unexpected“, oil on canvas, Ilya Repin. I got eight pairs of eyes looking at me, in which different colors of emotions are splashing, from fear and alertness to disbelief and even interest. The only emotion that was common for them all was - astonishment on the edge of shock. Yeah, no one expected to see Nightmare Moon after using the Elements of Harmony, especially with unhurt and undamaged Luna. And I, in turn, relied on the rising stone, that was hiding me from their eyes, and I never expected, that before their leave someone would look behind, to look into the hall from the exit, where this rising stone is useless in covering, and spotted me! However, if I trust Luna's memories, my “headlights” are very hard to miss in the darkness... And what I have to do right now? They will just shoot me down on the spot with their rainbow as a precaution! And Celestia with Luna will add some more! “Don't shoot me; I’m not evil!” What am I supposed to shout? Yeah, sure, they’ll trust me... WHAT TO DO, GOD DAMN IT?! It's still hard to think with my head, so when I demanded a quick solution, nothing more complicated than to stand up and to greet Princess was produced. I drew myself together and with a rush tried to stand up. And this rush was not without consequences for a mangled body. My whole right side and right hind leg were burning, as if in boiling oil. Because of the sudden and sharp pain, my breathing seized up, causing tears to flow out of my eyes, and I fell onto the floor with a moan. Oh, mother, help me! I was brokenly gasping for almost thickened air. No, the pain was a thing, but when I was calmly laying, it wasn't a big deal, but now... I’m not the one to know lots about the anatomy, especially inhuman ones, but a broken leg is something I can recognize. Apparently, the blow of concentrated friendship had thrown my body right back at the remains of the massive throne that stood on the very dais to my right. And the very throne was covering me with a shadow, in which no one saw my black body over the rising stone. This had given me some time to gather my thoughts and watch deeds that were already water under the bridge. Surprising, but it seems that this “film” passed very quickly. I try to inhale brokenly, watching the approaching ponies. A piece of a joyful song has emerged in my brain: “We will be through this trouble!” That would be good... I read some funny stories, something like a compilation of portal-travelers, that didn't have enough luck with the place or time. I was laughing. But now it’s not laughable at all! Painful and scary! Hectically trying to come up with something to do, what is better to say, but instead of this I got only one thought: “Now Celestia will command: ‘To the Moon!’. And because of the lack of choice, I’ll go and inhabit an empty and lifeless rock for another thousand years! I shudder again. What if she wouldn't hear me out? What if she is not so canonically good and she doesn't need some strangers? What if... I can't look away from approaching Celestia, who is walking with confidence, looking with concentration, cautiously and with a slight touch of surprise, her mane is fluttering on the invisible magic wind. Her horn is shining with light, breaking the surrounding penumbra and causing an unpleasant watering in my eyes. I start trying to creep away from her reflexively, but I couldn't stop in time. My troubled right hind leg groped a bulge in the floor and lightening pain stroke spine, sticking somewhere in my nape. I can't hold a moan; tears are running out of my eyes. However, it's not a big deal for me, since my now beaten body with a worn-out brain mercifully extinguishes my mind, and I fall into the darkness. *** Celestia came closer to the unconscious Nightmare Moon. It was very obvious, that she was almost obliterated. The fur with clouds of dust in it, the ragged blood-soaked skin on the right side, and the right hind leg, which was twisted at an unnatural angle. To finish the impression, her mane and tail lost their ability to be a piece of the night sky to soar in the air, and now lay everywhere on the floor like purple spikes. A sparkle of diagnostic spell went off towards Nightmare from Celestia's horn. “She passed out due to a hole in the ribs and a broken right hind leg.” Princess diagnosed as she turned to the others. “Princess Celestia!” But how is it possible? In the legend it was said, that Luna TURNED into Nightmare Moon! And now... And here...” Princess’ student was looking back and forth from the blue-darkened alicorn to the black one, without a single word in her mouth. “Hey, what are we gonna do with her?” Applejack asked perplexedly. All eyes locked on the Princess of the Sun, awaiting her decision. “I have to understand what to do now myself.” Thought Celestia dully. On the one hand, it's obvious that Nightmare Moon is dangerous: her power and skills were enough to roughly but repeat the "Exile" by which the Elements of Harmony sent the black alicorn to imprisonment on the Moon! She managed to send Celestia to the Sun! Yeah, The Mare in the Moon could do so for like five or seven years, her defense was not impenetrable, but the fact itself! On the other one, instead of a menacing and powerful master of magic, there now was lying a mangled, exhausted filly by Celestia's feet, she just felt sorry. Celestia was on a crossroad: the safety of the country and subjects demands extreme measures, but sending defeated Nightmare to the Moon... It was wrong. Rush for the ideals of Harmony for so many years, and just get rid of a defeated enemy in cold blood? “But what is right then?” Celestia was piercing the black alicorn with her eyes, like she was trying to find an answer in her. “Take a risk, leaving her untouched here, in Equestria? And by doing that, create a danger for my little ponies?" “But is there really a threat? What do I even know about Nightmare Moon?” Thought Princess suddenly for herself. The answer on this thought was simple and short - nothing. “Who is she, what she thinks, what she dreams about, why does she behave exactly like that?” Tia's sight swept over the Mare in the Moon. “No. I’m afraid that I don't have no authority to risk ponies’ lives just because of personal sympathy and interest.” “P-princess Celestia!” A silent, uncertain voice echoed in the silence of the hall, like a firework explosion. “Do not banish her! P-please. If it's possible, of course...” A yellow pegasus with a pink mane ended her speech with a voice, that was dying away, almost inaudible, and closing her eyes, she tried to shrink herself under the stunned and anxious glances of others. “My little pony!” Celestia stroked the pegasus, who has curled into a ball with her wing, while sadly smiling. Fluttershy mustered all her courage, cracked her eyes open and shyly looked at Princess. “The decision is not made yet. Why did you think, that I was going to banish her?” “Well, the way you were looking at her gave me a feeling...But she’s injured, she needs help, not banishment! If it's allowed, of course...” Fluttershy fell silent again. "Help... Help means giving a second chance. But... Really... This creature was a whole with my little Luna. If my sister deserves a second chance – why can’t Nightmare get one? Extreme measures are extreme because of the lack of other variants when the time comes. If she is hostile - I’ll do what I have to. If she is not, then...” “We will not banish Nightmare Moon, at least not until we're sure she's unconditionally hostile to us.“ “I hope you know what you're doing, sister.” Luna said with a plain tone, clearly unhappy with this conclusion. She wanted to add something more, but after looking at the keepers of Elements, changed her mind. “Once upon a time I thought, that my decisions can only be made of solely rationality and effectiveness.” Celestia looked at her younger sister descriptively. “And it turned out to be one of my worst mistakes. You know it more than anypony else, Luna.” The blue alicorn looked at her sister with a lost glance. For the Princess of the Sun, it seemed, that she wanted to argue, but couldn't gather the words for it. “Why is everypony so sad?” Pinkie's ringing voice broke the uncomfortable silence. “It all ended well! And when it’s well, you have to PARTY! Also, today we have a super-duper welcoming party in the honor of Princess Luna!” Pinkie started to excite others by jumping around. Celestia couldn't hold a smile on her face as she was looking at the pink pony of chaos. She was thankful for Pinkie's turn from the gloomy subject to something more positive. “EVERYPONY IS INVITED!!!” The earth pony with the curly mane looked hopefully at Celestia. “I’ll gladly join you, but a little bit later as I have to deliver Nightmare Moon to Canterlot and make sure that everything will be smooth...” The Princess of the Day said with a little bit of guilt. “Luna, you can rest and have fun without your strict sister behind your back!” Tia gave a wink to the Princess of the Night, who answered by smiling shyly. Celestia then said. “Thank you all, my little ponies! Do not lose me; I’ll accompany you soon. I’m sorry Pinkie Pie, because I'm unable to come at the start of the party.” “Don't sweat it, it's okay, all is good!” The Element of Laughter grinned from ear to ear. “I understand, duty! Very important duty! We will wait for you, Princess Celestia!” Her words were supported by the others. The magic of Princess wrapped herself and unconscious Nightmare for a moment, after this they both vanished in a golden spark. “Oops, almost forgot! We’ll have to do a party for the Black Snooty, when she’s alright!" Pinkie jumped and started to bounce to the exit, but after she didn't hear the others coming, she turned around. “Hey, what's wrong with you all?” She awkwardly asked her friends and Princess Luna, who were stunned. “But Pinkie! It's... It’s the Mare in the Moon! She...” The lavender unicorn was unable to finish her sentence. “She is a villain, who wanted to make endless night! She wanted the Sun to never rise again! She made lots of traps for us! And we were fighting with her!” The rainbow maned pegasus said. “And now you suggest to throw a party for her?!” “Twilight, Rainbow, calm yourself, please.” The party pony raised her hoof in a stopping gesture as she didn't want to hear the others’ complaints. “She has changed. She's changed greatly.” The pink pony ended with a very serious, not typical for her mood. “And now she will be very-very happy, when I’ll organize a party for her! But for now - a party in the honor of Princess Luna! Let’s go, we have to prepare a lot of things!” Pinkie swiftly returned to her common mood and started to sing something simple as she turned to exit and ran out of the hall with jumps. The others looked at each other perplexedly and followed her.
4. ConfessionAuthor's Note "Here’s a joyless chapter about the past, that wasn’t as good as the present..." Original author's note. 4. Confession Luna was interested in looking around the Canterlot castle, noticing how much has changed. A little earlier she already could see how the city changed since the time passed: A ‘big village’, that Canterlot had once been, has turned into a majestic capital over the millennium. Wide tiled streets, stone buildings with artsy finishing, crowds of citizens. Sadly, she couldn't see much from the carriage yesterday evening, but what she could was impressive. And now, while Celestia was giving assignments to her subordinates, that were shocked to see Luna, she was rediscovering the palace again. Yeah, now you couldn't call this stately building just a ‘castle’ anymore, nor a ‘fortress’, as it once was. The palace grew in size, and instead of boring gray stone walls there were all kinds of ornaments, and instead of the massive stumpy towers golden spires were now stretching into the sky. But, some of the rooms, despite the new design, were still recognizable. For example, this corridor that was leading, if she wasn't mistaken, to Celestia's office. Luna got distracted from examining the furnishings, and caught the end of her sister's conversation, by the looks of it, with her secretary. "...assign it to her. We already discussed this situation; I think she will be able to do it.” “As you wish, your Majesty.” “Also don't forget to prepare what I have asked for, and please don't disturb me unless there is a good reason! I want to spend my time with my sister.” Celestia smiled. Again, Luna was assured about how much her sister changed in the past centuries, and changed a lot. No Royal Canterlot Voice while talking to her subordinates, no harsh emotion on her face, not even a single honed, sharp order without any explanations. “And please don’t disturb me.” Luna smiled. And if you take yesterday’s celebration into a consideration... Sister participated in it with great enjoyment, even though it was a simple ponies' party, not an aristocracy’s one. Celestia had also asked Luna to stop trying to talk according to the etiquette, asking her to stop saying ‘Your Majesty’. And she asked to be softer while talking to the subjects... Tia being against strict rules of etiquette? Everything is so... unusual. “Are you okay, Luna?” Tia's voice interrupted Luna’s thoughts. The Night Princess was surprised to see that they were alone in the corridor; the escort guards and secretary have already disappeared. “I just sank into a reverie.” Luna smiled. “Everything has changed so much: Canterlot, the castle, and... you. Especially you.” The sisters entered into the Sun Princess’s bedroom, the one that was nearby her office. “You know, I was afraid that I would meet Queen Celestia...” Consumed by her thoughts and the conversation with her sister Luna didn't notice the new furnishing in the room, simply joining her sister on the bed. “I am sorry again, Luna. For this, and everything else. Even I didn't notice how I was changing.” The Day Princess started remembering the past. “The further it went, the more I was concerned only with Equestria's duties... or whatever I thought they were. And so it happened that a royal visit to some aristocrat, or a meeting with my subjects was more important for the country than a cup of tea with my sister. I tried to build a strong and stable country, with a system of governance working like a clock. So that everypony had their work, home, and there was no interracial hate and cruelty! And in the end it appeared I didn’t see further than my nose.” Celestia drooped. “Even though I called you ‘Princess’, I still thought about you as a sister. A little, silly sister that is still young and inexperienced for the real responsibilities. If I was to think about you as a Princess, my loyal associate and deputy, maybe I wouldn't have lost you for a thousand years...” Luna silently listened to her sister's confession, having mixed feelings. On one hoof she could feel her sorrow and remorse; she understood that Tia was sorry. But on the other hoof, she felt the anger that she thought she had left on the Moon. The anger at her sister, that didn't understand her. The anger at herself for succumbing to those feelings. The anger at Nightmare for fueling these feelings inside her... “You acted with benign motives! And I was led by jealousy and hate. I almost killed you back then, and you were just defending yourself! No, Tia, even if you are to blame - I am to blame even more,” Luna clenched her teeth, struggling with her anger. “Tell me, what happened next after my defeat?” The Night Princess changed the subject, when she noticed that her sister was about to object. “At first, when it all happened, I felt sorry for what I had done. Not for long.” She sighed. “Then I had to sort the mess after our battle and your exile: panic because of the eclipse and all kinds of mad ponies screaming about the end of the world, displeased aristocracy, saying that I wasn't careful to live with such a ‘monster’ in the same castle and that your plot could go worse, and external political problems on top of that. Of course, it's impossible to hide the fact a princess disappearing, and our neighbors had tried to not miss their chance, and use the newly formed instability in Equestria. We even had a small war with the griffons, or rather a border conflict that fortunately didn't grow into something bigger due to internal problems the griffons had. All the stability I tried to build for this long... It just fell apart like a house of cards in a few months. What do you think, whom had I started to blame for all of this?” Celestia smiled sadly and went silent. “Me, I suppose. Of course, everything was fine, and then everything went to Tartarus due to one jealous hysterical pony.” Luna finished with irony. “Don't say those things about yourself.” Celestia scolded. “If I wasn't ignorant, nothing would have happened!” She stopped Luna with a hoof. “Now, let's get back on topic... It was a rhetorical question, but you are right. You do remember, that I often couldn't afford a rest, and now, I had to also do your duties on top of that too. Alone, without your help, I had to figure out all the documents, raise and lower the Moon by myself... It was pretty exhausting by the way, and took a lot of time. I was lucky if I got as much as four hours of sleep those days. I got irritable pretty quick. Of course, I quickly found the guilty figure in this mess, and I sincerely hated you.” Celestia said with a lifeless, careless voice, but Luna saw tears in her eyes. She hugged Tia with her wing, getting a timid smile. “And I started a fanatical war with you.” She continued, having recollected her thoughts. Luna raised her brow. “I had declared you a rebel and traitor of the crown.” Celestia explained. “I stubbornly tried to find your followers, or simply sympathizers, and held loud courts against them. And finally, I maniacally started to erase you from history. There were no ‘Two Sisters’ anymore, no more Princess Luna...” Tia dropped her head. “And then I erased our Castle of the Royal Pony Sisters from all the documents and maps and abandoned it, completely moving to Canterlot. But even this isn't the worst thing I did back then. Did I mention the pogroms?” She asked with a lifeless voice. Luna shook her head. A pause formed again, in the bedroom that had its bright decor contrasting with a heavy atmosphere of the dialog. Celestia couldn't say a word, trying to continue her story. She was afraid to. “Don’t continue. I see how hard it is for you Tia. Don’t push yourself!” Luna quietly said. She had never seen her optimistic sister so depressed. “No, Luna. I must!” Celestia finally said something. The white alicorn was tense, and her tear-filled eyes showed the determination to finish. “Even if you exile me to the Sun, or... or kill me for what I have done... I will tell you everything. You have to know!” “What are you saying?!” Luna looked at her sister in shock. “Do you really think... I would never!” The Princess of the Night was speechless with shock. But Celestia's voice stopped her sister's speech. “The information about your supporters in the battle against me was a secret at first, and I tried to stop it from spreading. But then when I ‘finally realized’ who was to blame.” She grimly smiled. “I tried to make sure that everypony knew.” Luna froze. Did they really? “I see you understand now. It was the batponies.” The Lunar Princess shivered when Celestia confirmed her worst fears. “Making this information public, I made everypony rebel against the batponies. The attitude towards them already was sort of hostile, and after the news about your Night Guard consisting of batponies supporting the revolution... I could say that everything went on fire. I won't go into great detail about what was happening back then, just simple statistics... But we know for sure that about sixty-three batponies were slain and more than ninety were wounded as a result of pogroms. How many of those who were forced to run away from the angry crowds, leaving everything behind, or died from hunger, exposure, wounds, or predators is unknown for sure. According to various sources, from three to four and a half hundred.” Celestia said, voice full of sadness. “It's... It's... In the worst case... Almost every tenth...” Deafened by the confession Luna watched her sister who was continuing her monologue. “The surviving batponies and a few sympathizers ran away into the mountains and organized into an enclave, led by your captain. I was happy that all the ‘traitors and rebels’ had gathered in a single place, and I was about to end them with a single strike, but they were saved by the consequences of the massacres. Unexpectedly it had struck a pretty heavy blow on the shaky unity of our ponies. When batponies were out of reach, the earth ponies, pegasi and unicorns started killing each other. It's not a massacre level of killing, but still, the stability of the country disappeared. Having tasted the blood and the impunity - guards did not stop the massacres - many couldn’t stop anymore.” She averted her lost gaze into the window. “Again, there were racial hate and discrimination, high crime levels, as it turned out thanks to aristocracy. In response I started tightening the laws, sending armed patrols, and filled the dungeons. And finally, the griffons again, having their emperor changed half a year prior, their leader had thought that he could reinforce his power with a fast and victorious war seeing all the problems Equestria had. And the further it went, the more I started preferring simple solutions to the right ones.” Celestia sighed. “I didn’t even try to send envoys to the griffons, trying to sort out things as I used to do, but I simply led my army to their borders. And when we met them, I just drowned their vanguard in fire. I spun above the ground leaving a trail from my fiery mane, listening to the shrill screams of griffons burned alive.” Luna flinched at the thought. “And then, seeing my own soldiers flee from me, for the first time I thought about what I did and what I had become.” Celestia took a pause to breathe. Luna couldn't, didn't want to believe her words. But somewhere, in the bottom of her soul she knew that sister was telling her the truth. And she didn't know or understand what to do with this grim truth. The Princess just listened. “This war had ended without ever starting in earnest, as my demonstration was too convincing. The crime was fought with harsh laws and death sentences for the most odious of the regular outlaws as well as their noble ringleaders. The riot led by the nobles and their followers against such laws was brutally suppressed, with seventeen death sentences and sixty new prisoners and exiles. I had managed to save the country and the crown... But I started noticing the details that I ignored a few months back, before the battle with the griffons: my subjects didn't approach me with their problems, and I saw fear in their eyes, not love! The castle's corridors became silent and empty: the few I met tried to be invisible and not breath when I approached, freezing in fear as soon I would notice them. My guards started to leave their posts, despite all the fines and reprimands, just to avoid me. I was avoided; everypony feared and hated me! I... I had turned into a monster!” She couldn't hold any longer, Celestia sobbed, burying her face into a pillow. Luna silently looked at her sister, not knowing what to do. “Sister, how... how did you...Did you really spill that much blood because of your revenge?” The Night Princess tensely looked at her sister's shivering wings, her faded mane, and was struck by a sudden thought. "And what would have happened if I had won that day? It would be exactly the same! Eternal night, reprisals against the dissatisfied, hunt for Celestia's followers... I was led by hatred back then; it couldn’t have led to anything good! And her hatred grew because of my mistake in the first place! Do I have any right to blame her, if her mistakes are caused by mine?" Luna slowly turned her head and looked at her sister. I have let her down! With my deeds I had turned her into a tyrant! She went through all of this just because of me... Hesitating for a second, the Night Princess hugged her sister with her wings. Tensing from the initial touch for a moment, Tia relaxed, deflating like a balloon, and was now crying softly into Luna’s wings. “Everything is going to be okay...” Luna said with some difficulty, and couldn’t hold her tears back.
5. A Glance Into The AbyssI have simple questions with an annoying rate lately, on which I haven't got answers. Yesterday it was “Who am I?”, today it's “Where am I?” An unknown room, where I have awoken, reminds a lavish and kind of pompously formed bedroom: a high ceiling with ornate luster, paintings on walls, huge windows with heavy drapes, surely not cheap furniture and vast, in my opinion, for like five or six persons bed, on which I, actually, rest. By the scenery conclusion suggests itself - I’m, allegedly, in Celestia's palace. There’s no another obvious theory, so the first one would be the current hypothesis. Feelings... I lie on the left side that is not injured. Softly, warmly, widely - head, against tradition, do not lean against the back of the bed, legs don't hang from the edge. Injured side and legs are keeping me in touch about them by unpleasant aching pain, but surprisingly, not a very painful one. The side is not aching when I inhale, but there’s no desire to move the leg, don't want to hurt it - it’s almost normal, let it be like this. Hunger and thirst, surprisingly, are not being felt by me, albeit the body is not fed minimum since yesterday. Feeling sluggish - it’s like I slept well, but I’m still dead and curved. There’s no even a slightest wish to get up, to do something, to go somewhere. “To get up”, ha... Where must I get up to now? Something tells me, that I don't have job anymore - who needs dead employees now? I got sacked for sure. A dead body rots as does the collective... They don't appreciate me, can you understand?! Yeah, not funny at all somehow... Yesterday there was no time to think about what's happening around me, and now, in silence and rest, thoughts are not waiting to show themselves. The moment of my own death has not stored in memory, I can remember only the wave of heat and my last thought: “A bright finale, isn't...” What was it? A fire? An explosion? God damn, does it even matter now?! I got everything left behind me, everything, that was important and dear. Friends, parents - I don't even remember their names now! For example: I remember how we got in a car crash with my friend, and after making sure that all the formalities are done, we were on the move again, but it was crawling with a destroyed car without headlights back in town, during evening. We were discussing what had happened, talking about something to boost the mood... And that's all. Not the friend’s face, nor name, nor the talk itself - I remember absolutely nothing! This is bullshit, how is it possible? All my life left there... Where is nothing left of me. That’s all. I swallowed a lump in my throat with an effort. The chills gone down the spine because of the realization, that the life back there is over, and there’s no return to it. When all bridges are burned, the only way to go is forward, yes? Damn it, what if I don't want to go anywhere?! I have there... I have... I shivered from my own teeth's creak. I sleep six feet below there! It’s over! This topic is closed! I shook my head abruptly, like trying to force unpleasant thoughts out of it and with a struggle turned my attention to another topic. For one thing, let’s get a clear picture about the situation I’m in. What do we have now? Shallow analysis is showing a pretty pessimistic result: firstly - the leg is broken, secondly - I’m in captivity. I chuckled joylessly because of the last thought: by looking at the surrounding, it's not a captivity at all. No gloomy wet dungeons with rusted lattice and dark guardians, no wooden barracks with barbed wire and machine gun posts. Yeah, it's strange, but am I against it? While I was unconscious, they could've thrown me in a cell with fetters on my legs, send me to the Moon, just in case. Reputation of the former owner of the body, I suppose, was not the best example of a good one. By the way, about her. Who am I now? Or even this - what am I? I associate myself with a human and think about myself in masculine gender. I have a human memory, but strangely specific. I remember facts, I remember some feelings and emotions, but absolutely do not remember any of the personal information. But the memory constructs our own “ego”. Based on it, we make decisions, we keep them in mind, make conclusions, and by relying on it, we grow as a personality. In other words, if I hadn't done it in that way, but another, there could have been another me! With different memory, different conclusions, and, as a result, with different personality! And now my memory is like a goddamn sieve! How much me is me without this memory? Me is still me or not anymore?! Damn it! I understand absolutely nothing! Because of too intellectual thoughts, a headache came. Stop. Inha-ale Exha-ale. I should end with these thoughts about memory, last thing I need is an outburst, I’m on the edge already... Another question, demanding brightening - Nightmare Moon. Am I alone in this body or her personality is somewhere here too? If yes, then why she doesn't manifest herself? Does not want to? Cannot? Is it possible that my theory is right, and her identity couldn't hold much longer in the exile? But did she disappear for good? How much left of her if no? Does she recognize herself or there's only some emotions and memories? Did she even have a complete personality? By Luna's memoirs it's hard to say. And what should I do with all this? Nothing but questions! I abandoned all hope in trying to puzzle out the depths of my mind that became strange and unclear, and decided to switch over to the body. It would've been a different matter, if it was easy and understandable, but no-o! From the fry pan into the fire: I'm a mare. This word is remarkable not only for its gender, but also for its species. I simply don't have a clue how this body functions, even on the primitive common level! I have wings now - how to move them? How to fly with them? And what bad or good can happen with them and because of what? Strangely enough, I panicked partly because of nothing. It was not a big deal to move the wings as I stopped to concentrate all my force on the process. Stands to reason in fact: brain with trained-and-tested reflexes is still within the body. Now this deletes a mass of problems: there’s no danger of learning how to walk again. There’s no possibility to try it, but I’m sure, that when I stand up, I’ll not tie myself up in a knot with the legs. The rest is a dark forest. What I can eat, how long should I sleep, how high can I fly, what and why can I get sick... Generally speaking, on an opportunity base, I should definitely find a book about anatomy, where it would be written in easy and short way. In your dreams, pal... Returning to the question of gender... No, I’m not, hell with it! Enough of these funny thoughts for today! Of course, this question should be solved sooner or later, there’s no way out of a submarine, but I won't do this now, out of harm's way. I have more than a lot of reasons to be sad today, so let’s give it a rest. The mood, that wasn't on a high level even at the moment of awakening, now, after all of these thoughts, was straightly dark: I know only a bit about myself, wounded, have misery rights and don't have a clue about what is going to happen next. With me, and in general. Distracting from the thoughts, I started to accurately examine the room. Turning my attention to the paintings - landscape pictures and a pair of still lifes, but there’s no portraits amongst them. I like these snowy mountains, but this sunset above a lake on the near painting is too sketchy for my taste. Brushworks are too big. I die for a second, while staring into the painting with gaze. Since when I can distinguish separate brushworks on a painting from a distance of around 3 meters? While a human I could barely see the “E” without glasses, and this is unbelievable! “There you go, actually, it’s not that bad!” I smile to myself crookedly. Nevertheless, an advantage for the new body. After the paintings, my glare fell at the clock, that was hanging on the wall. What time it is? “15:48” - automatically noted brain. Carefully gazing into the squiggle on the clock face. Human memory stubbornly saying, that these aren't familiar for me, but if I'd stop thinking about it and would just look - it strangely becomes very understandable. I hope that it would be the same with letters. Continuing to look around, I note a sheet of paper on a small table near the bed. Strange, I didn't see it before, it's under my nose. Lean to it closer. A note? Interesting. Now we will know if I understand letters or don’t... “Nightmare Moon, you have a fissure in your ribs (pain of it can irradiate into your wing, but everything is normal with the wing itself) and a fracture of leg. I handled everything and connected the bones, and if there is no complications, you will be on your feet after a week. Will stop by during the day. Celestia.” Text shapes into understandable words and sentences with ease, despite the awkwardly-looking letters, which human memory, like the numbers, declines to understand as known for me. An interesting effect. I have an impression, that I have two parallel memories, that intercommunicate with each other... Damn it, I’m dumb! Nightmare's memory literally dropped at me yesterday, this is why I know all these squiggles and dashes! Yeah, it was an interesting movie... Not without a reason it is said, that the most bitter enemies are clashed relatives. In fact - everyone did a good job. Celestia, who went with her head into politics and ruling the country, had been almost ignoring Luna when it comes to talking, except for work, and Celestia thought that Luna should be happy that there’s no much of job to do, and don't get on the elder sister's nerves with her own “non-essential problems”. Was it really that hard to find two-three hours during evening and just carefully listen to Luna, hug her and say: “Everything will be okay”? No, it's a good thing, that country and its citizens are important for a Queen, but abandoning the only relative you had in the whole world because of the job so straightly... no, I can't understand that. Luna, in her turn - just flawless “Great job you did!” Complains all the time that she’s not important to her sister, while neglecting that she doesn't really need a sister either! For once in the year I'd have liked her coming to Tia not with complaints and reproaches, but with a cup of coffee and a piece of cake! And she had rational thoughts in fact, but she didn't mature to it, minding her own insults and jealousy. However, it's easy to judge, I’ve never been in situation like this, if leftovers of my memory can be trusted. But enough about the sisters. I have to thoughtfully examine legacy - it's not a bad thing to get one memory instead of two and get rid of this doubleness. “It seems both, that I do know and don't”. Besides, maybe, I’ll be able to find answers on all the questions, that have been devouring me after awakening. Concentrating, trying to remember something from the presence on the Moon, but instead of simple memories, surprisingly, I fall into the past once again: thoughts, feelings, emotions are overwhelming me... I’m not remembering - I’m living it once again that was in the past! I can't think about anything - all force is going to not fall into the action, like in the last time. ... In the first hundreds of years Luna and Nightmare had been working together. They even could be named friends: they had been supporting each other. Luna had helped Nightmare solidify knowledge that were from Luna's memory, but she couldn't use them on practice. It was especially hard with emotions: being, in a big part, a product of negative emotions, Nightmare had a hard time understanding the concept of positive ones. There was a revealing moment, when Luna was paralyzed of a question: “What is happiness?” What can you answer on this question? “Happiness - it's when you're joyful”? How to describe happiness to someone who never felt that? But Luna, to her credit, tried her best, although her actions didn't give any evident success. Nightmare, in her turn, repeatedly dragged Luna from assaults of melancholy and self-recrimination. They had been developing spells for creating a proper building material from the Moon soil and painting spells for it together, for the purpose of building a huge castle amongst gray dusty wastelands. After this they did bas-reliefs, statues and stained-glasses in the castle, and they were especially loved by Luna. For Nightmare it wasn't a very interesting thing, but as long as the process of building and decorating the castle helped Luna to take mind off dark thoughts and get back to the main task with fresh force, Nightmare was not standing by. And then, they got back to this very main task: Luna and Nightmare Moon were trying to find a way out together, any possibility of escaping from here, from the Moon. Endless brainstorms, magic experiments, constant attempts to do with their prison, anything! But it all was in vain: as it turned out, there’s absolutely no way to fly on the Moon, and teleportation more than a few meters was impossible due to the overfilled magic background of the Moon. But the most horrifying of all was that Luna couldn't control her Moon anymore! Her dream-walking ability didn't work as well: she just couldn't find a way to the world of dreams! In result, the only thing that could be understood from all of these attempts was that the defense of prison isn't endless and sometime will fade by itself, but it's impossible to damage it from inside. Elements of Harmony left no loopholes. In the end, constant failures gradually created a discord amongst Luna and Nightmare Moon. Fruitless attempts to find a way out and impossibility of Luna's special powers to be casted buried her in deep depression and soul searching, and the result of it was a conclusion: “It's all my fault!” Nightmare, while trying to cheer up Luna in her common way, like: “There's no time to melt down! We have to prepare our retaliation! We have lost the battle, but not the war! The Queen will have that belongs to her, and we will rule Equestria together under the cover of endless night!” Surprisingly ran into a harsh reply. Luna lost her grip and said a lot to Nightmare, and the fact that these words were mental didn't make it less painful. “Luna, why... why you're saying it in that way? We are friends...” These are the only words that stunned Nightmare could manage to say. Her emotions during that moment reeked of... It is not even grief or soreness - it was crush of the ideal. This is where I surprisingly understood that Nightmare treated Luna as Luna herself treated Celestia until their dissension and events after that - like elder sister, who nearly replaced her mother. “Friends with whom? With a reflection in a mirror? You are nothing but a collection of negative emotions that by some irony has been given a semblance of consciousness! This beautiful landscape around - this is your achievement, monster! I would never have gone against my own sister if your words had not pushed me to do it!” Luna spat out with fury. By taking control of the body from stunned and terrified Nightmare, she spelled something powerful from the magic of dreams: something hit head like a hammer, there was a flash before eyes... when the light show came to an end, control of the body swiftly moved back to Nightmare. She didn't feel hidden presence of Luna's mind anymore nearby - her body was only hers... But it didn't really matter anymore. She was beaten and destroyed. For the first time ever, her own tears ran down her cheeks, not Luna's, and pain and emptiness flew in her soul, like a big piece of it was cut. ... I dashed away tears with anger and threw my head back, trying to keep down tears. Fuck me, Luna, I beat the hell out of you when I’ll meet you! Hoof in the face, so that your teeth will fly like a fan! Nightmare's emotions in this memory are breaking my heart apart. Her memory and feelings said, that Luna was for her something like mother and elder sister rolled into one, and she even took care of her in her own way, how she could. When a creature, that was created from hate and fury, loves you and takes care of you - it shows something! Yes, Nightmare hardly could be characterized as gentle and fuzzy, but Luna was, practically, everything to her! And the most cruel part of it is that Nightmare didn't understand what was the reason of that reaction. Hardly a surprise that simple and deadly thought “Luna, why?!” occupied her mind for very long. What Luna did? As far as I understood later, she buried her personality in something like a stasis or suspended animation, simply turned herself off for the rest of the exile. Nightmare tried everything she knew trying to achieve Luna's attention, but it all was in vain. Magic of dreams was known to her only by Luna's memory, but she didn't know how to use it on practice, and learning it herself via fragmentary memories was out of her reach. After several months of unsuccessful attempts, Nightmare dropped the idea of reaching Luna and had entirely fallen into heavy and hopeless depression. Nightmare Moon was left alone. Alone on a desert piece of dusty rook from which you cannot escape. But there were around six hundred years until the freedom... I shook my head abruptly, banishing deep memories. I’m not sure if I want to watch more. There are six hundred years of full solitude in the privacy of your own mind and gray rock. Maybe there are answers for my questions about who I have become, but is it worth it? On another side - these are my memories now. Is it wisely to have white blots in your knowledge of yourself? You never can tell what surprises can be thrown by my new body, and I will not know about them, because I missed something important. In the end, it’s not bad to know more about progenitor. To learn from her mistakes for my own sake. I sighed deeply, like before a jump into water. Here goes nothing. ... I looked with stupor at the gnawed pillow that is wet from my tears. I suppressed the hysterics and calmed myself down only ten minutes ago. Fucking hell, if only I had knew what I was going to see - no way I'd have agreed to do that. Except from profanity in my head, there was not a very correct by its meaning, but very correct by its soul, phrase: “The sleep of reason produces monsters“. With all my force to not deep into emotions and to not live it through once again in full-time, to examine memory only cursory, I still determined that even death is better than an exile to the Moon. And, to my own fear, I have understood, that if this perspective is real - I’ll crush my own brains against a wall without a doubt. One time I saw a history of a guy, who got tired of being in a city and decided to live sometime in solitude in taiga. He occupied a hunter’s house and just calmly lived by himself. He hunted, fished, chopped wood, delighted in stars. Only after a month and a little bit more he started to lose his sanity: phantom strange noises, and even further - visible pink elephants. It all ended with a hospital, good enough for him - no serious consequences. Two months in solitude - and it was enough! And if no one had come just in time - it'd have been a lost cause, the man would have been lost. But here are six hundred years of loneliness. Full and absolute. And Nightmare understood, that her personality is being destroyed, she understood, she felt that disintegration! It’s very, very scary, when you feel, that your mind moves away like a wet paper. A cold, sticking fear pierces me only because of the mere feeling of it. But Nightmare, nevertheless, tried to keep herself busy and to take mind off solitude by any method - continued finding a way of escape, development of spells and experiments with them on the castle, which she had been building with Luna in the old days, preparing of plans when she returns, building of her own fortress and art... The last one is something. Sum up undeniable availability of a talent and a drip of magic of illusions with overwhelming depression and progression of disintegration of personality and you’ll get what the only soul on the Moon had decorated her dark palace with. It was openly terrifying from the statues, bas-reliefs and paintings that Nightmare Moon tried to have fun with. ...And this - one of my old work - “Sight” Light-gray, almost white sand is everywhere, horizon-to-horizon, as far as the eye can see. Bottomless cosmos with numerous stars. In its background, there's a hint of a silhouette of a black alicorn, standing with her back to the viewer and looking into the infinity of the cosmos with endless sparks of stars. I look at her for a period - and suddenly immersed in the picture, and a feeling emerged, that it is not the alicorn, who is looking at the starry sky, but the endless Abyss, which is eying on a pathetic bug with her countless eyes. You cannot run from this gaze, you cannot hide - the eyes of the Abyss are everywhere around you! They’re looking! Waiting for something! Glimmer in the darkness, narrowly spy on their prey! Abyss are quivering above your head, smiling, like a predator, with her eyes! She's everywhere! I shivered and swallowed a lump in throat with force. Her drawings give goosebumps, but it's only the beginning! During the last hundred years, Nightmare, who had lost her last pieces of sanity for good, drew hell of a... DO NOT REMEMBER! I shook my head, trying to banish absolutely needless memories and to force myself to turn my thoughts on something different. It went really crappy - there was a full disarray in my soul after all I have seen. In the great scheme of things, I must think out a talk with Celestia, if she wanted to come by, make a tactic, my policy... But even this talk mattered little for me, and its result - I’ll be pleasured with anything expect new exile. I felt sorry for Nightmare Moon, with so little of her mind left. She, as possible, tried to save her, but alas... It was especially distinctive by her actions after return: she straightforwardly followed her initial plans - take revenge on Celestia and make an eternal night. Afterwards, she wasn't able to overrun the Elements of Harmony because of the exhaustion by a spell, that exiled Celestia on the Sun, her well-worn mind tried to overcome them with experience, but wasn't able either. And then the strike of the Elements woke up Luna of stasis, and at the same time, brought me here, while throwing us in different bodies. And this is how I came to the question, that was amongst many others and felt like a burden for me all this time. To the question, which already traditionally, never had an answer: “Why am I here?” There were no ideas. Saving Nightmare from loneliness on the Moon is already late. It was the same with acting differently immediately after the exile... Nightmare Moon - and me, as well - shouldn't be here at all. But I’m here. And I’m absolutely unwanted here, an useless element, because who and why in peaceful, pastoral Equestria, needs Nightmare Moon with a soul of not the very best man? So, exhausted with these sad thoughts, I fell asleep, almost unnoticed by myself.
6. Own TruthAfter a few hours filled with tears, hugs and excuses, sisters decided to continue the dialogue with a cup of tea, settling in the same bedroom, But none of them could find any words - nopony wanted to disturb the atmosphere of family happiness that settled inside the room. Luna and Celestia just sat together, snuggled each other and smiled - each for different reasons and carefully drank tea. All the words were spoken and reunited sisters just enjoyed the silence. A knock on the door ruined this peacefulness. “I’ll be right back.” Celestia sighed as she put away her teacup. Luna nodded - state affairs require her attention again, you can’t hide away from them. Princess... Tia really surprised her when she said that this was her title now. «My subjects started calling me Queen, but I was too proud to ask the same for you, but your deeds were as important as mine were! It seemed as if it was meant to be this way, because I am older... I shouldn’t have, I didn't have any right to put myself above you! But I did. Got used to privileges and power, started to brag about my title, you know what happened next. I would never do such a mistake again! This is why I am a Princess now, Sister, just like you.» Celestia explained. While older sister was talking to somepony in the corridor, the younger one was examining the furnishings that she didn't notice before. Relatively small, cozy room with bright finish. Big, alicorn sized bed. "And not just one alicorn as it turns out!" Luna thought happily. "There's enough room for me and my sister!" Other than that, there was a big fluffy carpet and a tea table, with pillows around it instead of chairs. Celestia didn't change her habits. And honestly, the night Princess liked them too. Big windows, starting almost at the floor and ending at the ceiling, with unusually clean glass. Two doors - one to the hallway, and the second leading to an office. The room didn’t impress neither with its luxuriousness nor with its size. It looked ascetic comparing to the other decorations around the castle. This wasn't a big “Her Majesty's Bedroom”, but a room for rest during a work day, or for sleep if you couldn’t go to the main bedroom during these work days. Anyway, Luna didn’t care if it was small, big, or whatever sized bedroom. "Finally, we are together!" her soul sang. Quiet steps stopped Luna's thoughts - Celestia was coming back to the table, holding an inkwell, a feather and a few sheets of paper. “What is it?” Luna asked. “Important duties again?” “Don't worry about it, Lu. I am taking a vacation for a week tomorrow. This is why I have ministers and deputies after all.” Day Princess smiled, taking a seat next to her sister. “And these are the documents I asked to bring when I asked for tea.” Luna arched her brow. “Here, take a look. I think you’ll like it.” Celestia carefully shifted her empty plate and a teacup, and placed the papers in front of her sister. “Okay... «The Night Guard edict»?” She was surprised. “Exactly!” Tia smiled. “The edict «Diarchy» was prepared by me at least six centuries ago, you only have to sign it, making you the second ruler of our country. And how a ruler and a Princess can manage without her loyal guards? You need your guards, and batponies need you, and I hope that this step will help to bring the night ponies together with the others and bring them out of isolation. After all, I just want to do something good for you. And, being late for a thousand years, I’ll try to fix my mistake. I know how cruel I was to show disbelief to you and your guards.” Sun Princess ended on a sad note. “But I did forgive you, Tia!” Luna sighed and hugged her sister. “And what Isolation are you talking about? I thought you mentioned that thestrals have same rights as normal ponies do?” “Correct, they do.” White alicorn nodded. “But only a few use them, others prefer living in the mountains, contacting Equestria’s inhabitants very rarely. When I realized what I did, I immediately started fixing it. But their folk accepted my help only years later! They barely survived in those mountains, suffered from cold and hunger, they needed help! And they accepted it from anypony but me. Time passed, and we managed to work out some kind of relationship, but I am afraid that we will never have any friendship. They remember the evil Queen Celestia too well. Night ponies still scare foals with my name... Even curse as we do with «Discord!»” Celestia said. “Celestia!” Luna hissed viciously and giggled, and seeing her sister's face she burst out laughing. “Grow up.” Celestia rolled her eyes, causing another wave of laughter. “By the way our ponies scare their foals with a Night Pony.” “Is this me?” Luna stopped laughing. “Well, not really you. The official statement, printed in the books says that Princess Luna bravely sacrificed herself in order to seal Nightmare Moon, for Equestia's and her sister's safety.” “Well. At least it's somewhat true. Very remotely though.” Night Princess smiled. “About Nightmare Moon... I’m sorry, but are you insane?” Celestia looked at her sister trying to understand what she meant. “I made many mistakes in my life, Luna. And the most important lesson that I got is that you shouldn’t act driven by emotions. So...” “By emotions?! Tia, she is a monster! You do remember how we fought Sombra? Nightmare Moon is probably worse than him! All the time I spent with her, all she thought about was revenge! All she did was trying to come closer to this goal! Even when she started helping me to improve the spell for creating bricks, she did that so I could be calmer, because calm Luna works better with battle spells! I was thinking, rethinking, changing! But she was still a blob of concentrated evil and hate!” “But could she become different?” Suddenly asked Celestia. “What do you mean?” Perplexed Luna answered. “I don’t mean to offend you, but... She is your reflection. You kind of created her...” “I get what you are trying to say.” Luna interrupted.“ She and her deeds are my responsibility...” “I am sorry I didn't mean this!..” Sister didn't even notice her. “... And I didn't neglect this responsibility. When I realized my mistakes, I understood and forgave myself, I tried to teach everything to her. And I failed! Nightmare Moon just couldn’t understand me! Even worse, she didn’t even know what positive emotions are! She listened closely to my monologue, and then asked: «What is happiness?». She is my dark side, you are right. And this dark side is so terrible, that she couldn’t understand what is good by definition! I hope you understand now how dangerous it is to leave her here.” Luna looked at her sister, waiting for her reaction. “I get it.” Slowly said Celestia. “Tell me, how to explain what a color is to a pony that was born blind?” “Uhh” Princess pondered. “Wait, what does it have to do with Nightmare?” “It’s simple, you can't explain what color is to a pony who never saw it, as well as you couldn’t explain Nightmare what happiness is...” “Because she never felt it!” Luna ended her sentence being shocked. “But... No, it can’t be.” She shook her head. “She had my memories, and I know this feeling!” “She had your memories... But can you really be sure that she had all of them?” Celestia asked sadly. “You created her unknowingly, in the times when, as you said, your happiest feeling was gloat, when I accidentally spilled some ink on the financial reform plan that kept me awake for three days...” “Don’t remind me. I am still ashamed of this.” Luna said, embarrassed. “About memories... If she had all of them, then she consciously became a monster. If not, then you won't be able to teach her good, because the concept is alien to her. She is dangerous in both cases.” Luna said decisively. “And I don't get why you need her. Why didn't you exile her again?” Luna shivered when she thought that she saw for a moment a cold, careless Queen's look in her sister's eyes. But the Illusion disappeared, leaving only slight disappointment in her sister's pink eyes. “Then answer me: if I should exile her, then why I shouldn’t do the same to you?” Celestia squinted her eyes. “Following your logic, you are dangerous too, aren't you? You, together with Nightmare, sent me to the Sun, raised the Moon, attacked and hurt a couple of guards, fought my loyal student... So why shouldn't I have sent you back to the Moon when we were in the Sister’s castle?” “...?!” Shocked, Luna widely opened her eyes and looked at her sister, helplessly opening her mouth and struggling to find any words. “I am sorry, sister.” Sun Princess hugged confused Luna. “I don’t know what got into me. I am sorry, I... Overreacted. But at least I hope you understand me now. If you are worthy of a second chance, then why she isn't? Honestly, I’d do the opposite if Fluttershy didn't interfere.” Celestia sighed quietly. “But her actions made me look at the situation differently. I'd love to write a letter about what I learned about friendship, as I told my student, but alas, I can't write it to myself.” Sisters looked at each other and quietly laughed, a simple joke helped to ease the atmosphere. “I didn’t look at it this way. You described it so...” Luna made a vague gesture. “But I still don’t like your decision to bring Nightmare into the capital. Do you realize what could happen if you are wrong about her? Let's imagine you are right, and you can come up to some agreement, even though I doubt it. But what if I am right? Is it wise to expose yourself and your subjects to danger? What if she escapes the prison...?” “She is not in prison, sister. She is in the guest room of your wing...” “WHAT?!” Luna sprung from her pillow, putting her hooves on the table, glaring at Celestia. A cup crunched under the left hoof of dark alicorn, turning into a pile of shards. Despite the expectations of the Sun Princess, there was no emotional and loud continuation. Instead of this, after a couple of seconds, Luna slid back down onto her pillow. “You are insane.” She said. “As if it wasn't enough to bring a living embodiment of hate into the castle, you didn’t even put any guards on her... And really, why would you need that? What could go wrong?” Luna said sarcastically. “Let me explain. First of all, Nightmare isn't in the condition to fight me, even considering that I am not the best warrior. With a fracture in her supporting leg and unstable magic she doesn't pose a serious threat, especially now when you are here.” Celestia smiled at her sister. “And secondly, do you think there is a difference to waking up in a dungeon rather than in a bedroom? I think the second option will generate more trust, so we could build an agreement. By the way, I am planning to visit her in half an hour... Want to tag along?” “You really did change so much...” Luna shook her head. “I almost don’t recognize you. All these tales about harmony, friendship... I didn’t believe you at first, but now... You are... A ah, Discord! Just be careful. Please. I don't want to lose you again. No matter how.” Younger sister rubbed older sister's neck. “I’d better stay here. If it turns out that you were right about Nightmare, then... Actually, nevermind.” Luna suddenly ended the phrase. “Is something the matter?” Tia worryingly asked. “Maybe.” Luna said, avoiding a direct answer. “It all depends on whether you are correct about Nightmare. Let's talk about it later, ok?” Dark blue alicorn smiled. “A lot has happened to me lately...” When sisters said their goodbyes, Luna looked at the shards for a long time, thinking about what she should do if her sister is right, and Nightmare is an intelligent, living being and not a spirit of evil, as Night Princess thought. And she was really scared to think that she did a mistake back on the Moon.
7. A Heart-To-Heart TalkAuthor's Note "Some time this chapter was a part of the 5th chapter - and this united chapter was rewritten by me around eight times - mostly because of the dialog with Tia. And this dialog didn't work out as I wanted. Nevertheless, I still hope that this chapter, which went through bimestrial development hell, wouldn't be a complete failure." Original author's note. 7. A Heart-To-Heart Talk Waking up with a push, like because of an alarm-clock, I tried to do habitual movement: to sit on the bed and slip legs into slippers. Right leg bursts with a protesting pain, and I, by getting lost in strangely situated limbs, fell back onto the bed and finally woke up. By looking around, I made sure that it was a magnificent castle bedroom around me. For fuck's sake! It was not a dream! I hopelessly dropped my head on what was left of the pillow and shut my eyes. My mood dropped down with the speed of a falling aircraft. I wanted to go and get hammered until oblivion in hopes that drunken haze would help me get rid of these thoughts that haunt me, and to get rid of an alien world. Why? For what? And what's the matter in these questions if I can't get back anyway? There’s no way back from the other side, even if “this side” is full of multicolored horses! Especially when you're one of those - I lifted my head a bit and fixed my gaze at the folded criss-cross fore limbs, covered in black short fur and provided with accurate hooves. And what to do now, what?! There were unpleasant situation in my life, but it's my first time when I face a really hopeless one. Yeah, I didn't get used to being dead... There are no ideas, and therefore the thought: “What to do?” annoys me so much. I gazed at the door apathetically, looking at the fretworks of fiber on the plates with a senseless sight. Besides the sickeningly familiar “What to do?”, only a loud emptiness was in my head, it was heavy and freaking annoying in my soul. I don't know how much time has passed, when a clop of hooves behind the door brought me out of the brain freeze. An interesting sound. It's like a clop from high heels of a shoe, but because of the way of going on four legs, it sounds pretty weirdly - I noted dully. The steps stopped before the door and silenced. Interesting, who has come? I thought of a picture with hesitating Celestia in front of the door for a second, and I couldn't hold a laugh. Yeah, what a nonsense. Likely it's someone from the maidservants, who was “blessed” with an order to come to black-hearted Nightmare Moon with this or another task... The door, covering in a golden glow, opened silently and smoothly, letting in a beautiful like snow-white alicorn with a multicolored mane, fluttering on invisible wind. Wrong guess. Fantastic. The only thing I needed now is a meeting with her. I hoped she would come later... Celestia impresses. Lengthy, a stress can be felt in her whole figure: the wings are slightly high, the legs straddled for more stability. There’s concern on her face with a slight tone of interest. Watchful sight of narrowed big pink eyes, lips are shut tightly, ears are folded forward bellicosely. The rays of the Sun, breaking through a window, play on her golden regalia. She doesn't look friendly. And I, in my wisdom and the rolled up melancholia, didn't even make a plan of how to behave with her. All my knowledge about her is the series, where she is an incidental, almost background character, and the memories of either Luna or Nightmare - it's hard to understand - about Queen Celestia. I do not trust in the first option really, I do not want to trust in the second option very much. The pause has lasted way too long, whipping up tensions. “Waiting for death is worse than death itself” - right? Exhaling like before a jump into water. Here we go... “Queen Celestia.” I nodded to the alicorn, representing a bow. She is winking in surprise, as if she tried to understand if I address to her. But it's visible, that she eased a little. Waited an offensive instead of a talk? “I bear the Princess rank now, Nightmare Moon.” She answered with a beautiful, melodic voice. “How do you feel?” The pose become more relaxed, the ears straightened, a tiny sliver of a smile did appear... I like her in that way a lot more. About her question... “Better than it could've been, but worse than I wanted it to be.” I grimace at the last words reflexively. A broken leg is not a fast deal. Even idler such I would damn everything on Earth if I had to lay on a bed without a break for a couple of days. “Will you allow me to run magical diagnostic?” Tia gave me a questioning look. “As if I could stop you from doing anything.” I chuckled while looking around the room. “If it’s not pleasant for you or you do not trust me - I’ll understand you and will not do this.” She gave me a serious look. “You're joking.” I swept a distrustful glance over the white alicorn Seriously, she cannot think like this, can she? Her rank doesn't allow this! I’m a potential enemy for her after all! “Hardly that.” The Princess insists calmly “I just think that it’s not allowable to impose your own vision to others in situations, when you can go without it.” Is she dropping hints on my daredevil past? Where is “I’m not you”? Where’s logic here, God damn it? “Not allowable to impose” to me - since when, if our relationship is far away from being friendly? I'd understand that if she did say it to Luna, for example... “You're not joking - you're mocking.” I inhale darkly. “Let’s be clear - why are you mucking about with me? Why do you need me? Not for a public execution I hope?” Celestia made a step back, narrowing eyes in no-good way. The last phrase, as I can understand, is the Nightmare Moon's style, and she didn't like it. “And you, Nightmare, would definitely do that if you were in my place?” A threatening shadow appeared in the Princess’ voice. “I’m not in your place. And it seems that would not be anymore in future.” I reply back apathetically. “Give me the answer finally, why do you need me?” Celestia gave me a long thoughtful look. It crossed my mind for a second, that she barely understands why she needs such a “gift”, such as alive-almost-healthy Nightmare Moon. “I don't know if you will understand...” She says at last. “Everyone has the right for a second chance. If I have forgiven my sister, then why I must change my opinion for you - all of you were parts of one being, weren't you? Moreover, the Element of Kindness asked me for you.” Fearful, constraining Flutty - for me?! I doubt that she wasn't scare to give me even a look! The question “What to do?” has been questioned over and over again? Here, you're welcome, your solution for some time - pay Fluttershy up for the rescue from worse-than-death fate. I suppose if she didn't say a word - Celestia could've solved this problem the other way... This is not to say I very care about this life, but... but its loss will not bring the old one, where everything that was meaningful for me was left behind. And that being the case, I must live further on. Live with a life as it is - and be happy that I have at least this one. If dad was here, he would give me an advice that I must live this life better than the old one. “You have to listen to your parents, right?” I hardly chuckled, but darken once again in a moment. They have to bury me there... And here I can only hope that they would endure this... God... Something white appeared before the eyes for a moment, I reflexively blinked and pulled back, recovering myself. “...Okay?” I heard worried Celestia's voice. “No, I’m not okay.” I deeply inhaled in answer, figuring out the beginning of the phrase. “But thanks for asking. Although I still barely understand why you muck about with me. A second chance is a good thing surely, but...” I vaguely waved with a hoof. “Why don't you trust me that I could give it to you not “for some reason”, but just because?!” The Princess asked kind of discomposedly. “Because you're a ruler. You do everything "for some reason.” I tried to shrug. It worked out badly. And also because I don't know what to do with your “for some reason”. If you told me where to go and what to do - it could've been easier. There could've been no time to think... "About everything" I added inwardly darkly. “I’m not the Queen you remember, Nightmare. I have categories, different from “advantage-disadvantage”.” Rather sharp answered Celestia. I can feel that royal past is a pretty unpleasant topic for her. “What about “dangerous-undangerous” category?” I chuckled. “Last time I checked our last meeting almost ended in your death. And now you house me in fancy chambers, come alone, without escort, take care of me... Not as if I’m against it, sure...” I silenced, trying plainly to come up with doubts. Her actions cannot be understood by my logic, cannot! Such a ruler and a politician with such a life cannot do such things as she does! “You're not in condition to pose threat for me.” Drily states Princess, but she softens and adds: “On top of that, extreme measures are extreme for the absence of other variants. And I still hope, that you will be able to make friends and find something more than desires to get power and covering the world in an endless night.” Got it. “We will keep you - maybe you would be useful, but we’ll always be in time to roll you into concrete”. I was not going to give reasons for the last one, if I remember correctly... But I have to find a goal myself. Yeah, no one promised that it would be easy... “I’ll try.” I lingered time with some misgiving, rather answering to my own thoughts than to the Princess’ words. Celestia smiles at me warmly. “Glad to hear it! If so, be my guest, Nightmare. And let’s get back to the beginning of our talk - what's your opinion about diagnostic?” “Do it if you think it’s necessary.” I nod. Because of this rather dryish answer, Tia's smile seemingly fade a little. I felt ashamed of me for a second, that I do not trust her. But... I can't. Even if she was absolutely honest with me. “Do not trust politicians and bankers” - it’s a setup from the already past life was set deep inside of me like a vice. It can have serious consequences... Meanwhile, a golden sparkle fell down from Celestia's long horn, lighted up with a soft yellow shine, and imbedded in me, causing a short feeling of tickle throughout my whole body. Ah, bastard! I shuddered. Snowy alicorn narrowly examined my side and leg almost a minute, and then looked again in my eyes and smiled. “Everything is fine, healing spells are doing well, adhesion is going good. I’d say unusually good. I think after three-four days you’ll be able to stand up.” Princess cheered me up. Unusually you say... What about me not feeling hunger and thirst for two days - is it usual thing for alicorns or not? I speak my question out. “Not exactly...” Tia answers thoughtfully. “You, maybe, had no opportunity to get aware of this earlier: alicorns are more magic beings rather than material ones. What you described is typical for an alicorn who got caught in a very strong magic place, where energy supply from without is great enough for the alicorn's organism to function only on it. Maybe because of this your adhesion is going too fast. Maybe the Moon itself is a source like that. But, to be honest, I have not been interested in that question...” Princess became confused. I couldn't hold a smile - she was pretty cute because of that. “Nevertheless, I can surely say that hunger and thirst will come back to you soon.” The talk got silenced by itself. While thinking of something, Princess directed her gaze out the window. I reflexively followed her. The Sun doesn't blind me anymore, it hides behind a cloud, some dots are creeping near it in bright blue sky - apparently, a weather team of pegasi working on it. I could see no more from this low bed, but even this picture somehow seemed to be calming and something like careless. Some time we just gazed out the window with Princess in silent. “Okay.” Shortly said Celestia. “It was interesting to talk with you, but unfortunately I have to go. Can I help you with something?” Why is she breaking my template - is it on purpose? Why she treats me like that? Abnormal world, abnormal villagers... But I, of course, wouldn't hesitate: never slap a gift horse. “If it’s not a problem - a pillow.” I gazed shyly on what has left of the old one. “And books to read. I don't know what you have, so on your taste.” Princess glanced over the dissipated feathers, but didn't say anything. And thanks to her for it - there was no desire to expatiate upon the reasons of my hysteria. “Okay.” She nodded. “Goodbye, Nightmare Moon.” “Goodbye.” Hesitating, I echoed to the already closing door. The talk exhausted me pretty well. And what's worse, didn't make anything more clear: I still don't know what to do in this world and how to live further. I gazed upon the clock and with revealed some surprise that night time is not in the distance - postprandial nap and talking with Princess have taken a lot of time and I didn't even know it. That is good - this silly day has already annoyed me as hell... I find a comfortable place on the bed and shut my eyes.
8. A New StartWhen I woke up, I didn't realize right away where I was: it was dark, as if my head was covered with a blanket. With a really big blanket, made out of feathers... Wait, it's a wing! My wing... So, how do I control them? After a few minutes I finally managed to fold it, and instantly squinted due to extremely bright light attacking my eyes. Well, good morning, right? I looked around, still having a blurred vision from waking up. There was a small pile of books on a bedside table. I got up to look at the titles, and noticed that I was sleeping on a pillow. Wow, I thought no servant would risk to put it on the bed, trying not to wake me up... Well, thanks for that. To them and to Princess. Nothing else has changed in the room - same curtains, same pictures, same quiet ticking of the clock that shows early morning. Well, of course, I fell asleep before dawn... I felt pretty good. My flank almost stopped disturbing me, and my leg also didn't hurt, at least while I didn’t move it. Their healthcare is pretty cool. Seems like they really can heal a broken leg in four days. Tia also mentioned some effect of energy overflow that I got back on the Moon. Judging by the fact that I still don't feel hungry or thirsty, it still affects me. Should I stretch? I tossed and turned in the bed, stretched out, trying not to disturb my hurt leg, thoughtfully looked at the floor. Can I stand? Theoretically, three points of support was enough... I rolled on my belly, crawled to the edge of the bed and put my forelegs on the ground. That's new. It feels as if you were standing on your hands, but also not... Now, diagonally... I lean on my healthy hind leg, while my hurt one was still on the bed. Trying to get up and shift my weight on front limbs. I stand. Feels weird: one might think that it would be uncomfortable to stand on four (well, three in this situation) bones, as a human on stretched legs and hands, but no, it feels okay. While trying to make a step forward, without disturbing the leg, the first thing I found out was the fact that standing isn’t walking: I almost fell, barely stopping from stepping with the hurt hoof. I was saved by my other reflex – the body flaps its wings, helping to shift the weight to the front and stay on the feet. The second fact is that laying on your folded hind legs is pretty comfortable, but holding them in this position while standing feels terrible, as if trying to bend your pinkie without ring finger. Carefully return to the bed. Well, bummer. You can stand on three legs, but not walk. At least if one of the hind ones is missing, remembering canon, holding something in the front limbs and using the remaining three to move is natural for ponies. My only option is staying in bed - I sighed. At least I didn't fall, thanks to my reflexes. About them. And importantly, about my wings. I can spread them almost without any problems now. I always wondered, what wings did Nightmare have, membranous or feather ones? To my slight disappointment they turned out to be out of feathers, but with weird ones. Thick, long, unusual shape. They made an impression of a solid, leather-like wing from afar. Interesting. Fold, unfold, flap...I have spent almost half an hour playing with my new limbs, getting used to controlling them. Turned out it was important not to focus as hard as you can, but instead relax a little bit and think less, so your reflexes would take over. It's my distant pipedream, you know? Buried by my terrible health. I could fly. Probably not right away, I still have to learn, but still. I looked at the clock, mindlessly tracking the second hand. Wings are but a fraction of what I have now... I am an alicorn now, mind you. How long do they live again? Nobody knows - not a single one of them had died yet of natural causes, and Princesses are well over a thousand years old... If they had lived on Earth, they’d have had an opportunity to personally meet prince Rurik... God, how long do I have to live now? Somehow, It felt wrong. Alicorns are powerful mages. A new, unexplored, incredible path of magic has opened before me. With an alien world around me, waiting to be discovered. With its unusual, strange rules and laws. A world of fresh air, vast forests and without a looming war that risks to be the last one in human history. No, I liked my world. Dynamic, fickle as a flame. Liked my work and people that followed me. But that history is over for me now, even if it's a tough pill to swallow. There is no return now. Now I have to leave the past behind me, even if it's hard, and move forward, to the unknown. Start from scratch. Look for friends, things to do, learn new stuff. And, maybe, I will like this world as my old one... There will be problems, of course... Well, I already have them. Gender... It's complicated. At least Equestrian language doesn't have grammatical genders for verbs. Other than that... No, I won’t make a tragedy out of that and, groping myself with hooves, cry: «Where?!». You have to have the nerve to complain about this body. Not the most pleasant turn of actions, but it's not the end of the world. I wasn't planning on flirting with locals, and for them to flirt with me... Well, I'd love to look at that. But to be honest, I don't know anything about this body... I’ll have to clarify some things about it, just to avoid any unpleasant surprises. Well, I will figure it out later. I think, with my current life span this problem will solve itself after about fifty years, when everything will bore me and I will get tempted to experiment... I shook my head, driving this thought away. I don’t want to think about this. That's the physiological side of the question. From a social standpoint, if a popular fan theory is correct, it won't change anything for me, meaning I still will be a “stronger” gender. «Have some teats, will you? Are you a mare or what?!» I chuckled a bit, thinking about this comparison. Well, even if it's not true, then my race is out of the social standards anyway, alicorns don’t fit there due to incredibly low population and tremendous power. Plus, I have evil reputation, I don't know whether it's good for me or not. At least, I won't be bothered unnecessarily, and I’m fine with that. But if everyone runs away from me, screaming with primordial fear, including vendors, it will be very annoying. Let’s say I need to buy some bread, and instead of «took-paid-left» I would have to get the panicking cashier from under the table. It depends on how I look in the eyes of the locals, I could either be a spooky villain or a complete monstrosity. So, we’ll talk and then I will decide whether or not I have to change my reputation. In conclusion: I have almost greenhouse conditions. Of course, I and Celestia haven't decided anything yet, but her mood yesterday made me somewhat optimistic. I wonder, what will come next? Will she send me to Ponyville? But maybe she will leave me in the castle, to learn how to rule the proper way, while she’s still here. Etiquette, reports, Equestrian laws, royal things... I shivered. I don't like the idea of that! No, it's probably a good idea to learn everything that I’ve mentioned, because of my race I will likely need it, but I don't want to do it every day. I rolled on my back, stretching my wings, and hanging my head off the bed: this is the only way I can lie on the bed now because of my horn... Wings are half of the package by the way. My horn also exists. There it is, long, spiral, always staying in my periphery. I should learn how to use it. Considering that without it you can't even comfortably read... Damn. I don't have any teachers other than this body's previous owner. Which means I have to touch her memory again... I nervously bit my lip. I didn't want to submerge myself into events that happened on the Moon. But I have to, either that or I will have to explain Tia why I can't lift a teacup. Making up my mind, I sighed and rolled on my side and tried to calm down. I just had to focus on Nightmare's memories and I immediately felt as if I was drowning in a swamp, making great efforts just not to submerge completely and not to lose myself... ... After a couple hours, I was in a terrible mood, but I finally managed to «catch» the pieces that responded to Nightmare from my memories using her horn and recover myself. Now I need to try and replicate the sensations that I remembered and use the horn. And also, I learned that I not only can build castles from anything I found, but also skillfully destroy them. The list of spells used for destroying buildings made by Nightmare was extensive. She, abandoned by Luna, vented anger on the castle that they once built together. Remembering how the great towers crumbled to dust accompanied by a mad, hysterical laughter was painful and sad. Luna, you damn mule, what did you do? Why did you leave Nightmare Moon? Why? Do you understand, you blue ass, that you killed her? There is almost nothing left of her personality! I whimpered as I breathed through my teeth. Some kind of heavy and grim feeling settled in my chest. Nightmare's perfect memory is, perhaps, the only thing that is left of her. She saved everything, even the tiniest of details, feelings, senses, words... And transferred them to me, if I ever needed it. My wish to remind Luna about what she had done was really strong, the only thing that was stopping me from reminding her immediately was my broken leg. I managed to calm down at least a little bit only after an hour. To distract myself I decided to start using the information that I gathered from my recollections. Despite all the theoretical knowledge about how to do it and my body's reflexes, it still took me three hours just to feel my own magic source. During my attempts I growled, grinded my teeth, swore like a pirate, and almost cried - I felt that desperate. But when I finally managed to get a feel for the energy, the progress picked up really fast. It didn’t take any big effort to direct and structure the energy into something simple, telekinesis for example. The pillow got surrounded by turquoise aura... and flew into the wall, exploding into a cloud of feathers. Whoops... At least I didn’t take the book, as I first planned... But I didn't think that I would destroy the pillow this fast. I continued to train my magic on pieces of pillowcase and feathers, also mentally scolding myself for not starting from feathers first. After one and a half hours my training was interrupted by a knock on the door. By that time, I finished putting feathers on the pillowcase, managing to do at least some kind of cleaning in the room. The door was silently opened by a golden aura, letting the Sun Princess in. “Good day, Princess Celestia,” I waved with my left hoof. Her response was a surprised look. Well, yes, I didn’t think about that: Nightmare Moon suddenly saying that the «day is good» is kind of ironic. “Hello, Nightmare,” Celestia nodded. “How do you feel?” “Better than yesterday. Trying to figure magic out... By the way, I am sorry, but... do you have another pillow?” I feel the red appearing on my cheeks. At least my fur is black... Celestia followed my look, shook her head, and inspected a small pile of feathers on pillowcase. “What's wrong with your magic?” She asked with a hint of concern. “I tried to lift it, but it went flying into the wall,” I said. "I think a hundred-year long loneliness and Elements had some impact on my head. I even have some problems with coordination.” I tried to mimic Nightmare, even though I doubt it looked convincing. Such an explanation is going to be useful if somebody gets interested in changes that I made to my persona, even though barely anyone knew the original personally, and changes are going to be welcome... But I don't want to test how they will react to someone else in Nightmare's body... Better safe than sorry. I should make a legend about my flying and magic skills for the same reason. And if Celestia for some reason thinks that she has to help me, then I should ask for some lessons, I think it’ll do me nicely. Of course, it's dangerous to tell her what my weaknesses are, but... Seriously if she wanted to end me, then she would have done so already. “Loneliness?” Celestia twisted her brow. “I thought you shared Luna's body. You could talk, couldn’t you?” I didn't consider that twist... Nevermind then. But I won't tell her everything myself, she should ask Luna. Seems like she didn’t think it was necessary to tell her sister about this, so I’ll make her. Damn blue chicken... “So, Luna didn’t tell you anything?” I was «surprised». “You should ask your dearest sister, what she told me when I had called her a friend for the first time and what she did after. Tell me what she said later. I am really eager to hear.” Even a simple reminder is enough to fly me into a rage. I closed my eyes, and made a few deep breaths, trying to calm down. I was shaking. If Luna would have come in here, I'd jump on her right away. This is not okay. Because the Night Princess didn't do anything to me... But Nightmare's perfect memory that I retained showed me every small detail. Each thought, each feeling, everything! She left me there, and I felt terrified as my personality crumbled, and I couldn't do anything! I have reasons to hate her! “I will ask.” Celestia's voice hardened. “No matter what happened between you two, I won’t let you hurt my sister, Nightmare.” “Then make sure we won’t run into each other. I won't rely on my self-control.” It was hard to speak, I had to force myself to say everything calmly. “I hope it won’t fail you. I don't want to use any extreme measures against you.” Celestia warned me. “Goodbye, Nightmare,” she bid farewell, and left without waiting for my response, closing the door tight. Well... So much for a conversation.
9. Alicorns the SistersAuthor's Note "No matter what happens between Tia and Luna - they will remain the closest for each other in the whole world." Original author's note. 9. Alicorns the Sisters “Rise and shy!” Funny sister’s voice dragged Luna from a dream. “But Celly, give me rest!” The Princess of The Night said dreamily and turned to another side, hiding her eyes from the Sun rays, which have entered the room since Celestia drew aside the curtains, allowing them to enter. “Wo-ona.” Tia prolonged playfully. “Five more minutes!” Luna implored desperately, while understanding that she has awoken and will not fall asleep, but she didn't want to give up with such ease. Celestia went around the bed. Her sister shut her eyes, trying to sleep with all her might. Princess of the Sun smiled mischievously. She spread her all-white wing, accurately pulled out a feather out of it and gave a tickle to the black-blue alicorn's nose. “ATCHOO!” Being not able to withstand, Luna sneezed and finally opened her eyes, fastening her angry sight at her sister. Tia giggled, covering her mouth with a tip of a wing. “Celly! It's tyranny and despotism! Why?!” The junior Princess moaned with a strain, unwillingly wriggling out of blanket. “What is the hour?” “It’s going to be 3, oh my sleepy sister.” Tia smiled again. And chuckled again in response to the Luna's slightly stunned gaze. “Wow, I... Almost eighteen hours...” The sleepy alicorn nodded with her head distrustfully. “Oh.” “You should take a shower and refresh yourself. Let’s go, I’ll rub your spine!” Celestia waved with her hoof invitingly. “Shower?” Luna raised her eyebrow. “What is it?” “It’s a little joy of the central water system. You will like it!” Intrigued Princess chuckled distrustfully, but followed the senior sister. ... “Ouch!” “Sorry.” Celestia folded her ears guiltily. “I’m afraid that I lost my former skill...” “It’s nothing.” Luna smiled carelessly. “Please, keep on.” Enveloped in a golden glow, hair pick dove again into the blue mane and started to slide, lettings its strands between its teeth. Junior sister slightly turned her head for the sister’s comfort. It was so long ago... It seems before the times when they were running Equestria. In those times, when their manes hadn’t been fluttering in the air, demonstrating to the others their huge power, they usually set hairs to each other. But now, with Luna's magic disturbed and weakened by the hasty alternation of surroundings, Celestia got her possibility to practice a little on sister's appearance again, and Luna agreed with pleasure. It is so good to be back home, with the family... Blue alicorn closed her eyes blissfully, remembering the last few hours. She liked the shower very much, Celly didn't fool. In the good old days it was mandatory to bath like a pegasus, from a cloud - the shower was something like this process, but the difference is that it gives not only cold water, but also warm. Moreover, as much as you want, and its hard jets massage skin nicely. And when her sister showed her how to change its utilization, Luna was as happy as a filly. After this, Tia brought a whole pile of flasks with different potions and have been explaining the purpose of these things for a while. All these gels, shampoos, lotions, masks for fur and feathers were merged in one solid wall of incomprehensible terms, but nevertheless, the feeling of cleanness, freshness and pleasant smells surely were liked by Luna and she reduced her original skepticism. Bathing with the help of water from a river, sand and magic maybe was easier and more practical, but by far less comfortable. However, the shower wasn't the only thing in sight. Luna well appraised a sweating-room with pouring aromatic oils onto white-hot stones, creating thick fragrant steam, then a small fresh swimming pool and hot, boiling water in a hot tub. After hydrotherapeutic procedures, slightly drowsy Luna at first, has been mopped with a huge loop towel thoroughly, then, with a brush, a villus was put to a villus, setting the fur in place accurately. Finally, caring sister's hooves were combing her tousled mane with a hair pick. “Let's make sisterlocks?” Tia suggested playfully, moving down the hair pick. “It will suit you!” “No!” Luna leaped back in half-pretended fear. “I’m not a little one!” “Woona, don't get fussy.” Celestia demanded it, composing her lips, but couldn't withstand and tittered. Luna happily dissolved into laughter with her sister. ... Princesses passed by another post in a hallway and turned to the dinning room. Luna smiled with satisfying, when a guard followed her with a stunned gaze, even forgetting to salute to the ruling Princess by the book. Not a surprise - she looked at herself with the same gaze under a happy smile of her pleased sister. Tia has been performing a religious rite with her mane almost an hour, but Luna has forgot all the carried struggles and losses when she saw the result. Pompous and hard high head-dress, decorated in silver-plated fiber with pearl and flirtatiously knocking out spike of crimp hair looked really royally. There was a dinner already, awaiting for two persons. Luna was especially impressed by a large bowl with fruits, some of which she did not even know about. And everything smells utterly stupefying. If the Princess of the Night initially assumed sister’s idea of going to have a dinner without enthusiasm due the full absence of hunger, now she was lighted with a desire to taste everything on the table. But the smells were much better than during the party in Ponyville, it’s worlds different. For Luna, who literally didn't have even a crumb in her mouth for a thousand years, even ordinary water still was so tasty beyond belief - and it's going to be even more beyond her understanding with these pineapples, which she didn't even know about. “I missed this so much! Trivial things one would think...” Luna divided a fruit in two, took out the stone and blissfully closed her eyes, eating the nectarine in her mouth entirely. Celestia has been looking at the little sister's holiday with a soft smile at the start, but became quiet as gloomy thoughts started to haunt her again. No matter how Luna set up her comb and no matter how she assures her sister in the statement that everything is fine, but Tia still was consumed by the feeling of guilt. Now it sounds right that she had to give up back in the old times, to give sister everything that she wanted - just to make her happy... But what it could have led to? There’s no way to find out this anymore. Instead, she exiled her unfortunate, unappreciated and lone sister Woona to the Moon for a long millennium... Too long... Now it was clear why she was so shy on the party in Ponyville and why she was drinking tea without sugar, so hated by her, with such pleasure - she just wanted to be swallowed by long-forgotten feelings, which she didn't feel all these ten centuries. And it demonstrated more and more to Tia how cruel and unforgiving her punishment was. It was not the right way! Fine, even an exile, if no other choice is given, but five hundred years! Three hundred! “What? Sorry, didn't hear it.” Luna looked at the elder sister questioningly. “Sorry.” Celestia smiled shyly. “Just thoughts aloud, nothing serious.” She didn't notice that she whispered the last words. Luna, based upon her hard look, didn't trust Celestia's smile at all, but decided to postpone the talk for the future. Princess of the Day decided to think over it later and finally joined her sister at the dinner, deserving from her an approving glance. ... “Your servants are so calm.” Luna noticed when entrée and seconds on the table were changed swiftly to tea and desert by coherent acts of a few ponies. “Honestly, I was afraid of being welcome as the Mare in the Moon, of being feared. But no: everyone knows me, welcomes me with honor...” Junior sister stopped to talk, choosing a tuck for herself. “Do you remember when in the old good times you and I dreamed about what country we will create and how everything will be there? Back then, I remember, there was talk of news, sometimes very important, spreading very slowly?” Tia smiled with foretaste. “Maybe there was something like that... I don't remember exactly.” Sister nodded to her with concern. “Here, I asked to bring it specially for you: a morning paper, and similar to it went off from a printing-office with the first rays of the Sun, and almost all of Equestria knows about what's written in it!” Celestia handed over the last mentioned paper by telekineses with satisfied face - “Canterlot news” with a photo of Luna herself on the front page. The Princess of the Night, with a wreath made of flowers, smiled hesitatingly, looking aside just a little. The headline was below it, written in big letters: “Princess Luna, sister of Princess Celestia, has returned! Equestria will be diarchy once again!” “Fire your artist, sister!” Luna twisted her lips sulkily, examining with her gaze her representation. “A royalty on a portrait must look majestically and be with regalia, not like a lost filly! But similarity, of course, is strong... What's going on with you?” The Princess of the Night asked her sister with bemusement, who has burst into laughter. The explanation of what a photo is has lasted around an hour, after that the talk smoothly drifted into other scientific and magical achievements of the country during all these years. It has changed so much... New cities, connected with railways, zeppelins, soaring in skies, on which earthponies and unicorns can be lifted, new genres of art, literature and music, cheap and mass printed books, accessible for every pony... Even the amount of ponies in Equestria wasn't just a few dozens of thousands, but more than a million! Head is spinning... ... After the dinner, Celestia decided to make a full excursion through the castle for her sister. Wandering in lavishly finished and decorated hallways and rooms, Luna was shocked once again how a relatively small, but serious fortress seriously changed in a thousand years, becoming a wealthy and great palace, a real center of a country. Princess was stunned by huge windows, glassed with enormous sheets of the clearest, absolutely transparent glass, omnipresent magic lamps instead of common torches, and seemingly endless library of the palace has nearly put her into awe. And also, the palace wasn't empty and silent, as she liked in her home castle of Two Sisters - this one was boiling with life. Busy servants and attendants of the palace walked by, guards saluted the Princesses, nobles formally bowed to the sisters. Celestia slowed the pace, when doors of another hall opened, allowing a crowd of ponies into the hallway. They grouped in small teams and argued about something right on the hoof, someone grouped close by walls of the hallway. They bowed to the Princesses sincerely, but no one had the courage to tap into their talk. Idyll was stopped by a gray-blue stallion with red as fire mane in an official costume and glasses on his nose, who almost rushed to block sisters’ way. “Your Highness! Princess Celestia! Please, excuse me that I’m interrupting you, but the deal has to be done immediately!” Luna scowled discontentedly, looking at the stallion who lively, but without taking his voice up was telling something to the already came and now closely listening sister. However, the Princess of the Night instantly reprobated herself for egoism and returned a neutral-welcoming aspect on her face. Her sister is running a country, and the necessary of taking a decision sometimes can force you to turn away from other things, like now... “Excuse me, sister, but I have to digress for a little bit - the question is really important.” Celestia dropped her ears guiltily, coming to the junior Princess. “Don't worry, I’ll wait.” Luna assured her, and in response Tia cheerfully nodded and went to the pony who had interrupted them - a minister probably - who still had a very worried look. This simple act warmed junior Princess’ soul: her sister didn't leave her for the job without a warning, she cares about what Luna feels. Nevertheless, the Princess of the Night wasn't given a moment to be bored: a handsome white unicorn with a golden mane and blue eyes has gone out from a quietly speaking group, which kept an eye on Luna and determinately came to her. “Your Majesty Princess Luna.” The stallion bowed suavely. “Allow me to introduce myself: Prince Blueblood, nephew of your respected sister, Her Highness Princess Celestia. It's a big honor to meet with you personally.” “We share your happiness, Your Highness Prince Blueblood. Will you not mind in a small amiability to appease Our curiosity?” “I ask you to forgive me that I didn't explain it right away, Your Highness: I’m not a reigning Prince, and moreover, not an alicorn. It’s customary to name me as: “Your Grace.” The unicorn marked his smile. “And I’ll appease your curiosity with pleasure, if I can. “Addressing had changed as well.” Princess marked it for herself fleetly. “It’s a need to clarify everything.” “Supposing that is not a secret, Your Grace, by what right you have the title of Prince?" Princess Luna eyed the dandy from head to foot. “By the right of inheritance, of course.” He was slightly surprised. “My ancestry is almost seven hundred years old, and it's going back all the way to Her Highness Princess Celestia. Honestly, it's not exactly right to call me a nephew of Her Highness technically, it’s only a fixed appealing. Did I satisfy with my answer, Your Highness?” “It’s all going back to Tia?! Well, sister... You have to tell a lo-ot to me!” “Definitely, Your Grace. Won't you narrate an answer on one another question?” “Anything, Your Highness.” “What's your post at the court?” “I lead the ministry of cartography and land cadastre of Equestria, Your Highness. Tasks of my ministry are management of lands, their categorization, accounting and mapping, and some other questions that are related to it.” “It's all We wanted to know.” Luna decided to round out the talk. It's enough for the first meeting. “Your Highness!” Prince decided to address, slightly hesitating in the beginning, seeing that Princess is going to cut the talk off. “Allow me to... Wouldn't it be too big assuredness from my side... If...” “We're listening!” The Princess of the Night decided to focus on the somehow sharply nervous unicorn anyhow. “I’d like to acknowledge my respect and admiration to you, Your Highness!” Blueblood gathered his thoughts. “I’m very interested in ancient history of our country, and, of course, couldn't pass by your unexampled deed - saving Equestria from the Mare in the Moon. Huge thanks to you for your sacrifice, Your Highness!” Prince bowed deeply and with huge respect. Luna has stunned, like a statue, painfully biting her lips. All the thoughts went out the window, leaving clicking void there. “Wouldn't it be an indelicate act from my side to ask you a few questions about these times? I, of course, addressed with these to Her Highness Princess Celestia, but sadly got no answers...” Unicorn sighed. “Sometimes I get feeling, that the auntie tries to avoid answering these...” He growled, lowering voice. “U-um... Yes, We meant no, We mean...” Stunned and perturbed Princess absolutely lost her tongue. “Thanks, Your Highness!” To the Princess Luna's utmost panic, Blueblood decided to count the answer as a positive one. “History literature doesn't give any answers from where the Mare in the Moon had came from. For sure you know more about it?” He addressed to the Princess of the Night with a gaze with burning expectation. The pause is growing on. Prince, knowing only the official version of history, truly thought that it is her, Princess Luna saved Equestria from Nightmare Moon, and deeply respected her for it... Respected for what never happened even remotely! Luna, losing scraps of her composure, didn’t know what to do under the unicorn's prying glance, when she was finally saved by Princess Celestia. “Good morning, Blueblood.” She said it warmly. Prince, not expecting a voice right behind his back, has shivered and hastily turned to the Princess of the Sun, who conspiratorially winked at the dazed sister. “Good morning, auntie!” Unicorn emphasized a bow swiftly. Luna was stunned by their clear similarity - the unicorn was strangely lengthy for a pony, had a greatly long spiky horn, and his sharply white fur was the same as Tia's fur. Most likely that the stallion didn't make it up about kindred... “I see that you’ve already acquainted with my sister? I hope that you didn't have time to wear her out with your question about your favorite historic period?” The white alicorn narrowed her eyes archly. “Did not have.” Blueblood confirmed disappointedly and made a questioning gaze to Luna, asking with eyes, did he created a problem or not? “Did not have.” Nodding, the junior Princess repeated to him it, deciding to not make needless troubles for a pony who really respected her. “Well... I hope that you would not mind if I and my sister will continue our way?” Semi-interrogatively - semi-affirmatively said the Princess of the Sun. “Of course not, auntie.” Unicorn tried to hide disappointment in his voice. “Your Highness Princess Luna, it's a big honor to meet with you personally. I hope that we will be able to end this talk, if you are not against it.” He exchange bows with Luna. “Don’t have any right to take more of your time. Good day to you, Your Highness. Goodbye, auntie.” The unicorn bowed with respect and moved away, integrating in a group of other ponies. “Thanks.” Luna exhaled with unbelievable relief only now, looking at the sister with gratefulness. She only sighed sadly in response. The official version of what had happened a thousand years ago, as it turned out, can bring problems not only with living Nightmare Moon, what was obvious and understandable since the start, but also with sister Luna, and honestly - Tia absolutely didn't think about it... ... “Sister, don't you want to tell me something?” Luna addressed to Tia when they left alone. “You want to ask about my nephew, don't you?” Celestia guessed right. “He noted that his family came from you, notably - seven hundred years ago.” The Princess of the Night nodded. “I thought we left our attempts to conceive and to give birth long time ago as fruitless and meaningless.” She sighed sorrowfully. “And wasn't it you who discourage me from serious relationships when your beloved one died because of age, Silver Wind, about whom you slop tears for a few years after? “I couldn't accept his death for eight years... I still remember this reckless stallion, for whom I wasn't a wealthy and constituent Queen, but “Tia, my sunshine.” The senior sister smiled sadly. “It’s painful that we hadn't successors...” Luna walked through the hall with thoughtfulness, remembering the times and wondering about not so desirable faith of alicorns. Back in their youth they didn't think about themselves as someones who were special. They lived as they could, dreamed about what other ponies did, about family and kids as well... But there weren't any kids, and then their loved ones just died of age at the eyes of the immortal sisters. They spent not a dozen of years, trying to puzzle out the possibility of an alicorn having descendants. Verdict - they can. With a slight chance, since common ponies endued with magic, but they do not consist of it for the biggest part as alicorns do. Search for a male alicorn wasn't successful, as the attempts to fix the situation with all manner of means. “About the Prince...” Celestia shook her head, being in thoughts herself. “Blueblood made a mistake: his family is six hundred fifty two years old, not “almost seven hundred.” Tia noted with a slight reproach in the way of her ambitious descendant, looking thoughtfully into a window. “From where did he occur... Honestly, it was cry from the heart. I missed you so much... As I did for at least someone who thought of me more than an immortal and powerful ruler... In the middle of capital boiling life, in full halls of ponies, I felt absolutely alone.” It feels familiar... Luna sighed and came closer to Tia looking into the distance and encouragingly hugged her, earning a swift thankful gaze from her. “There were no serious planes about these relationships, I didn't have them, nor the noble bombshell unicorn by the name Pure Gold, with whom we worked together a lot back in days about an education reform. The smartest pony, strong and capable magician, he was associate deputy of Secretary of Education - and was going to replace her very soon. During the collaborative work, somehow without noticing, we bonded up very close...” Celestia cut her gaze from the window, made an inviting gesture and started to move to the exit. Luna followed her, pondering about sister’s story. “The result of this bonding was a shock for both of us. Nevertheless, our relationships had never transformed into intimate ones, and he, with all the will in the world, couldn't cross the distance between “Princess Celestia” and “Tia” until his death, and he constantly blamed himself for this and had been asking for a forgiveness. It’s a surprise, but the birth of our filly didn't help at all.” The Princess of the Day pushed the doors open and stepped forward with Luna to a front porch, grades of which came down to a garden. The sisters stepped to a grassy way and started to slowly head in the way of a small arbor. “At first, I thought that my daughter is the whole world.” Celestia continued her story. “But a few years later I suddenly realized that when she, this little cute unicorn, dies at my hooves of age - I will not survive this. Painfully, bitterly, contrary, against my better judgment, I had to put some distance between us. I tried to convince myself through my own tears: “I can't be attached to her!” Tia sighed heartbreakingly, looking into the clear sky with an unduly concentrated gaze. “Well, I succeeded.” The Princess of the Sun summarized sadly, being able to control her own emotions. “Sun Beam's death of age didn't kill me... But the fact of her addressing to me as “Your Majesty” badly hurt me for a long period of time.” In an awkward pause, Luna thought that maybe it was easier for her on the Moon than for her sister here, doomed to loneliness among ponies, whose century, alas, is a very short one... “The end.” Tia smiled exhaustedly and somehow sadly. “You know, for all these years I have never been realizing so clearly that you’re the only one for me, and it seems, no other would come. I waited for your return so much...” Celestia hugged her sister in a long cuddle. Luna, not being able to find a word, just hugged her in response. “A little later, however, I got a new hope that we will not be the only ones, seeing the generations passing by.” Tia continued quietly. “I will acquaint you with Mi Amore Cadenza soon. I think you’ll be very surprised.” “You intrigued me.” Luna chuckled. “So.” After a few minutes, the senior sister broke the hugs unwillingly. “It’s time to change day to night already. Are you going to rise the Moon?” She smiled at her sister. “Me?!” Luna was stunned. “But... I thought... After everything that's happened...” She hesitated. “That I will not allow you to do so?” Celestia cocked her eyebrow sarcastically, but the temperature in the garden went down for a few degrees because of her voice. “Luna, you can do anything. Absolutely anything. If you want, I can abdicate from the throne for you, to rule Equestria yourself. I will do it.” She said it to her sister while being dead serious. Luna, at first, wanted to fiercely oppose Tia, that “she's crossing the line and everything is an unnecessary and...” She understood it: the Princess of the Sun was ready for anything, in an effort to not lose her little sister again. But she herself, Princess Luna, in her turn, will do anything to not lose Tia, so her variant will not be anything more than words. "Thanks for trusting me, Tia.” The Princess of the Night dropped it silently. “Anything for you, Woona.” Her sister said it in the same way. “So, are you going to raise the Moon?” Cheered up, she asked more loudly. “I think no.” The blue alicorn said slightly embarrassed. “I fear that my magic is not in the best condition to do so.” ... “So unusual to see it in that form.” Celestia said thoughtfully, looking at the smooth surface of the Moon, hanging on the horizon. Sisters slowly walked through a night garden, planning to not go back into the palace so fast and enjoying being alone. “It was different?” Luna asked her sister slightly surprised. “It was. No more than three days ago there was your profile, made of craters. I barely remember that it was like this now...” Tia said absently. The Princess of the Night didn't say a word, having no clue what to say - any answer at this point seemed out of place. “You know... I suppose, that only today, at the dinner, looking at your reaction to all these basic things, which you had lost there.” Tia nodded at the Moon. “I absolutely understood how wrong I was to you, banishing for such an enormous duration... It's hard to me to even imagine how you survived this... Excuse me, sister.” How she survived... Thanks to her black side that had been fueling her rage and revenge, that had been forcing to clench teeth and to try more - to find a way out, to create a plan of war, to get ready for the battle with her sister, for the battle, after which only one will be left standing. Her own hate gradually went silent, only the realization of what she did came to her, the realization of what happened... The feeling of a mistake that is not possible to fix. But the darkness was close by, fueled the hate, called upon revenge, demanded blood! And then, Luna was scared. Scared that her dark side can take the lead, that her repentance will not be full and would turn into apathetic anticipation at first, and then into animosity, that will say to her that the waiting was too long and undeserved. Nightmare Moon, looking for new tactics of fighting, also brought a topic about the magic of dream walking, but the primitive mind of the dark ghost didn't saw a piece in a dozens of well-weighed variants, and this became the salvation for Luna. A few dozens of years of thorough work, gradual nervous tension, fear before the fact that what could have happened if the idea didn't work... It worked. It worked as intended. Six hundred years buzzed by, like there weren't there, and the pink eyes of her sister arose before her gaze, and she was anxious about her health, standing on the background of the time-worn walls of the ancient castle of Two Sisters. There was no place to be concerned... But the last thoughts of the being, in whom Luna saw only her dark reflexion in a mirror, somehow, burnt her soul and bothered her during her sleep. What if she made a mistake? “Think nothing of it, Ti.” Luna shook her head in response. “What you said to me, honestly, makes me think that you punished yourself a way harder than me. It should have been the other way around, I deserved it at least, compared to you...” The junior sister sulked, looking dully at the grass that tramples down under her hooves with every step. “Luna...” Celestia tried to argue, but silenced, failing to find words. A silence hanged amid the sisters. Alicorns walked through a night garden in a slow pace, listening to crickets and looking at fireflies, which are spinning like glowing dots over night flowers, which opened in the Moon light. The Princesses made a circle and went back to the road, that is leading to the side of the Moon, radiating on the horizon. “And... What was there, on the Moon?” Celestia decided to ask at last. Luna darkened, looking away from Tia. This is it, the question, which she feared and waited simultaneously. There was a desperate desire to not tell the details to anyone. “Luna, what happened between you and Nightmare?” The senior Princess asked quietly in response to the dour silence of her sister. The Princess of the Night shivered, throwing off the pace. How could she forget! Tia, as recently as yesterday, was going to attend Nightmare Moon that was kept alive for some reason. And the sister’s question meant only one: the visit ended in a talk, not in a fight. Tia wouldn't have found a common language with the ghost of hate. And it can mean only one thing...
10. CertaintyAuthor's Note "The day after..." Original author's note. 10. Certainty I walked across the room again, turned around, reared up and, finally, jumped, helping myself with my wings. Nothing hurts or bothers me, and there are no unpleasant feelings. “Thank you!” I said to Celestia that was watching my moves, smiling. Today she examined me and finally said that I was completely fine. I don't know how long it would have taken me to heal without her help, but thanks to that my recovery lasted only for four days! It was unusual to walk on four limbs, but thankfully I wasn’t wrong about my reflexes and they really helped me. I made another lap around the room and approached Princess. “Want to take a stroll?” She asked. “I wouldn't mind.” I nodded. “I hope it won't be necessary to defend myself from the guards that are going to try and save you from the monster's captivity, hmm?” I smiled. Tia looked confused for a second, it seemed like she didn’t think how she was going to tell everyone about me, focusing only on secrecy for now. I didn’t even hear any hoofsteps last four days except for hers, and she always came alone. As if nobody even visits this corridor, not even the servants! “Why would we need to see the guards?” Princess found an answer and looked into the window. “The garden is under our windows.” Her face showed mischievous expression, as if she was about to do something fun and eccentric. She moved the curtains with telekinesis. Then she climbed the windowsill and told me: “Waiting you at the bottom!” And jumped. Feeling completely lost, I watched as the colorful tail disappeared. What the hell was that? I looked out of the window. My god, it’s the fourth floor! Celestia playfully winked at the bottom, visually pleased by her pampering. What should I do now? I can't fly! I’m going to slam into the ground like a sack and get in the bed again, healing more fractures. I looked down again and gulped. Tia didn't pay attention to me anymore, looking at some kind of bug crawling on a flower. Trying not to look down, I started climbing the windowsill. It's thin like a stick! I had to put my haunches as close to my front legs as possible. Trying not to slide back into the room, I swayed, almost falling outside, but managed to stabilize myself with my wings. My blood froze, my throat got sore. A light breeze of wind touching my wet back made me shiver, «It's like jumping with a parachute... except I don’t have one!» I nervously smiled. “Nightmare! What's wrong? Is everything okay?” Heck, I almost fell again, being scared by suddenness of this question. “No!” I answered honestly. “I couldn’t fly on the Moon! I just don't remember how to do it!” “Oh...” Tia drooped for some reason, but then shaking her head, raised her head again. “Jump, I will catch you!” It’s still scary! But I have to! I'd have to start learning how to fly eventually, so why shouldn’t I start now? Especially with Celestia keeping me safe. I suppressed my will to look down. I know how this effect works. It’s like cold water: the longer you touch it with your leg, hesitating - the colder it feels, so you feel less confident. I made a deep breath. Three! Two! One! I push myself out of the window and spread my wings. Wind slams my face, taking my breath away for a moment. Open the eyes! I said open!!! Oh, God! The ground's coming! Fast! I make a few flaps faster than I can think about it, stabilizing my flight and slowing the descent. I didn’t have enough time to celebrate, because I caught a tree branch with my wings and lose my very unstable equilibrium, so a glide turns into a fall. The world turns before my eyes, the wing burns. I have enough time only to close my eyes and fold all my limbs, bracing for impact, as I crash into some kind of bush, breaking twigs with a loud crack and... get stuck in place, like a fly in a jelly. “Nightmare! Are you okay?” Celestia's voice sounds concerned, almost frightened. Why does she unironically care about me? I will never understand her. I open my eyes and look around. Turns out I was hovering above ground. By the way, my both hind legs fold fine... I stretch my limbs and Tia carefully puts me on grass. “I am, princess. But my pride took a hit.” I answer the question. Well, first time for everything, I guess. And thank god Celestia caught me. “Can I?..” She points at my wing. I nod. A familiar tickling sensation rolls across my body. “Open your wing.” I quietly do as I told. Doesn't feel like something serious. Slight discomfort. “Everything is fine.” princess said, proving my theory. Well, it could be worse. “Thank you.” I smile. “Let's go?” Tia suggested after a few seconds of silence. She returns to her usual, friendly face, but for some reason it still seems like her mood worsened. “Come on, I am fine. After all, I still should have remembered how to fly sooner or later, so it was a matter of time when I had to jump out of the window.” I chuckled, but the Princess went even gloomier. Um... I thought she was worrying about her jump, thinking that she forced me to do so too and this almost ended poorly, but it seems like something worries her. “Celestia?” I looked at the gloomy princess. “Everything is fine.” she unconvincingly smiled. Well, okay. I won't push her, she knows what she is doing. If she doesn't want to tell, then fine. We’ll walk in silence. ... Her garden is amazing! The roads are marked only by stones on their sides, there is no pavement, so you can enjoy pleasant and soft touch of grass on your legs. Carefully trimmed bushes, trees that are giving a nice shade, bewitchingly great compositions made of flowers and clean air, filled by its smells. I breathe deeper, closing my eyes with pleasure. This is nice... Submerged in pleasant feelings, I noticed that we came to the other part of the garden only when my hooves started to loudly clang on paving stones that suddenly appeared under my hooves. It looks more like a park rather than garden now, cobbled roads, lamps, benches, the noise of a fountain can be heard somewhere nearby. A statue of some pegasus stands In the niche between the bushes: he proudly stands with his wings open. What a natural, great sculpture. Sculptor even managed to make his fluttering mane. Impressive, really. I catch up with Tia, she is so busy with her thoughts that she didn't even notice that I have stopped, walking past me, I kind of like her silence less and less by every second... I stopped directly in her path. “Sorry...” confusedly said alicorn, stumbling into me. That's bad. “You don’t look like yourself. What happened?” I stare into her eyes. “Nothing. Everything is fine, really. I just... need to think.” Celestia forced a smile. She does really look a little better than before, but this still doesn't look «fine» “You don't trust me? Well, I can understand why...” Why did I even think that she would be frank with me. And it’s still not very pleasant to think about it. “The trust doesn't matter! Just...” We come around the corner, and my sight stumbles on an unusual statue of some grotesque creature, which looks as if it was stitched from different body parts... From different body parts. I suddenly remembered one of Nightmare's creations back on the Moon. I involuntarily step back, almost slipping on a rock, I shake my head trying to get rid of intrusive vision. No! Fuck that! I don't want to remember! “... with you?! Nightmare!” I regain my senses from Tia's scared voice, she looked frightened. I cover my eyes and slowly breathe, calming myself. I didn’t expect such a move from my brain. This damned chaos spirit managed to cause the associations that make me scared to go deep into my memories, the ones about the time I’ve spent on the Moon, especially the last one or two hundred years. “Let’s go away from here.” I propose to the Princess, and turn back, not waiting for her response. “What happened?” Celestia demandingly asked, catching up to me. “Happy memories of living on the Moon.” “After... When you were left alone?” Princess clarifies with sadness in her voice. “I talked to Luna two days ago, and...” She falls silent, struggling to find words, I am walking on the paved road next to Tia, listening to the sound of our hoof stomps. All the good mood that I had this morning vanished. Exile isn't the topic that I can calmly talk about. Things that happened to Nightmare are scorched into my brain with red-hot steel. And searing pain will remain for a long time, while an ugly scar will be eternal. “What happened to you... there?” Quietly asked Princess, as if talking to herself. After a brief pause, I decided to answer. “Let me tell you this... If you get bored and decide to get rid of me, then kill me as cruel as you want, burn me alive if you will. Even this will be way more merciful than the exile back to the Moon.” I genuinely believe that. I would really choose anything over exile. And this makes me scared. “Why?!” Celestia barely managed to ask. A fleeting look at her is enough to understand that my words shocked her. “Because a terrible ending is better than terror without an end, princess.” I conclude this talk. My mood gets even worse. Honestly, I want to send this white horse far away, and seclude myself with a bottle or two of really hard spirit, just to get wasted and forget about this dialogue next morning. “I am sorry, Nightmare. I shouldn't have... A thousand years is unfair and cruel to you and Luna...” She bitterly spoke. She asks me for forgiveness?! I stop in my tracks, silently looking at the drooping Princess, trying to understand what is happening and how I should react. And this exile really torments her. Especially after her sister told her what she did. She cares about what I feel. She cares about what she did to me in the past. Why?! What does she have to do with me anyway? Who am I to her? Damned ponies, what the hell is on your mind?! “But did you have a choice? Don't the Elements decide how to affect someone on their own? Did anyone wanted for me to return with Luna? Still, the Elements of Harmony gave me my own body, and now I am here.” “I never thought about it this way...” Slightly cheered up, Princess replies thoughtfully. "Weirdly enough, I am not mad at you, although... It didn't cost you anything to get rid of me back there, in the castle. No pony - no problem, you know... No one would have said anything. Instead, you are taking risks by delivering me back into the palace, actually healing and helping me... I still don't understand why are you doing this, to be honest.” “Thanks for the kind words.” Celestia smiled with relief. “You're welcome.” I smiled back. “It's not hard if it's for you. If you are kind to me, then I will reply with kindness. Plus, it's the blue nonentity that we both know, who's to blame for my bad condition,” I conclude. “Nightmare... I understand your feelings, but Luna is my sister after all.” Tia reprimands me. “Sorry.” I say indifferently, causing a sigh from Princess. Celestia gives me a reproachful look and continues the walk towards the garden. I join her. For some time, we both walk in silence, each thinking about own things. Celestia finally doesn't look gloomy and withdrawn: white alicorn looks around, squints at the Sun, sometimes smiles to her own things. I don't know if I told her the truth about the Elements, but my hypothesis is logical, and I am really not mad at her. It's weird of course. Personally, there is no reason for me to be mad at Luna too, but I am literally furious thinking about her. How much of me is there in me, really? It's useless to deny that Nightmare's memory changed me, but how much? And why did it happen so seamlessly? Actually, should I worry about this? We all inevitably change as the time passes due to certain conditions. It was just a little faster in my case and that's it. I am worried about the future. I am healed, there is no point of holding me in the castle... Anyway, why should I guess? Nothing would happen if I ask. “Princess?” “Yes?” Tia surfaced from her thoughts. “What should I do next? Now when I am healed and feeling relatively fine?” I demandingly looked in Celestia's eyes. “It's a hard question.” She sighed. “You see... Your appearance together with Luna is something incredible. I expected Elements returning me my sister, but I never thought that this may be the result.” “It was a surprise, I bet.” I smiled, but Tia didn't share my enthusiasm. “As you can understand, I was preparing for Luna's return.” she continued. “The official version of things that had happened a thousand years back goes as follows: Luna sacrificed herself to forever imprison the evil spirit that attacked Equestria - you - on the Moon.” Uh huh... And now this «evil spirit», that turned out to be intelligent and negotiable, walks on the ground with Luna. And you somehow have to explain its existence. Great. “I am really sorry that this happened.” Tia looked at me guiltily. “But who could've supposed that would happen?” “I understand...” What can I say? Looks like I am going to see a lot of panicking ponies from now on, running away from me and screaming «Don't kill me, I have children!» and so on... “And as you can understand, it's really hard to think of any options because of that. First, I wanted to invite you to stay here for some time more, but... Sorry, I am afraid that soon I won’t be able to pay you enough attention - my short vacation is ending soon. You could have kept adjusting to the new atmosphere without my participation, with Luna for example, but knowing your relationship...” Princess sighed. “And your servants, guards, aristocracy and others won't be enthusiastic to meet and help me.” I finished Celestia's phrase. “Sadly, it is true.” She agreed. “Of course, I won't leave this situation «as it is», but it will take a lot of time to change it. So, there is only one option left for you, which is heading over to my personal student in Ponyville. She will help you get used to the changed world, and this is going to be an important friendship lesson for her.” «Changed world», huh? You can't even imagine how correct you are, Celly.... And of course, you are going to be silent about the fact that your student and her friends can pet me with their rainbow. I can understand her approach: keep your friends close, and your enemies even closer. More so, I can’t really object. The situation in the mentioned town is known to me from canon, and I can’t say so about the rest of Equestria, and especially to everything else abroad. Also, there is one yellow pegasus that saved my life, according to the information that I've got. And it seems like I am in debt. “Okay, I am fine with that.” I said, after thinking this idea through. “What are my targets and goals in Ponyville, and what resources can I have?” Celestia slowly turned to me with a puzzled and lost look. I kept my face straight. “What targets and goals, Nightmare?!” Celestia came to her senses. “Settle in, find out about all the achievements that magic and technology have had in the past centuries, find friends... Just live as all do! You are free in your decisions, I am just trying to help you get the most out of your unusual circumstances, more so, I am the reason why you have all these problems. You can leave Ponyville if you are sure you can manage everything by yourself. About the money... I can provide you with a decent starting sum, plus I can give you monthly payments.” Yeah, of course she's going to leave me without any supervision. Go wherever you want, uh huh... Our purple librarian is likely to get instructed to report about every step I make. If I would go anywhere else, they would find out where, go find me and politely suggest returning to Ponyville. What else? The news about the money is good... But the idea of getting paid for nothing, honestly, doesn't feel nice to me. But on the other side, it is necessary at least at first, before I can think of anything I can do and where I can earn money. And about «live as others do»… I feel completely lost, and it's really uncomfortable. Anyway, we’ll see how it goes. For now, I really have to learn how to use magic, fly and familiarize myself with a dozen of everyday problems... “So be it.” I nodded to Princess. “I am glad that you agreed.” She smiled. “I am going to send a letter to my student today. I’m also going to order to prepare a chariot for you tomorrow morning. Is it fine by you?” “As you wish.” So, tomorrow. There are no reasons for me to extend my stay in the palace. While talking, we turned away from the park's pavement to the grass road, slowly going back to the clearing where we started this walk. A good mood started to return in this chill atmosphere. Sun warmed my back, grass gently caressed my legs, the air was filled with the flower aroma. It feels great... And I felt easier too. Finally, there is some certainty about what is going to happen to me next. I managed to get along with Tia, even though I don’t understand why. And if my words about the Elements helped her to calm down, then it's perfect. She did a lot for me in the last few days. She even gave me a small magic lesson yesterday, after my examination. An hour doesn't seem like much, but I really wanted to figure it out, and Tia turned out to be a great teacher, so by the end of her lesson I stopped messing up my telekinesis, and I also learned a couple of simple things... Then the Princess left me and I got to reading. Well, foreshadowing... Having read Tia's note for me during my first awakening in the palace, I didn't even consider that this note was written in ancient Equestrian. And reading books using its modern variant turned out to be a problem. Some of the letters are missing, some of them are pronounced differently, the words changed, unknown terms... I struggled, but continued reading understanding one word after two. What else could I do? Of course, my first book was «Magic basics. Volume one. Twelfth edition», but it wasn't surprising that I only understood prepositions, my knowledge of the language was clearly lacking for this book. From the «simpler» books there was a compilation of old fairy tales, except not the kid's variant, but some kind of study with commentaries to the stories and their analysis. Even skipping all the scientific words, it still was really hard to digest this text. So, this was one of the reasons why didn't object against Ponyville and contact with the lavender librarian, who can help me better than her? If she wants to, though... Submerged in my thoughts I didn’t notice that we returned to the clearing. “Uh... What next?” I asked Tia, looking at the opened window of my room, about fifteen meters above ground. Tia looked at the window, then turned to me and promisingly smiled.
11. A Hard Question“Nightmare! Get up!” Celestia’s soft, but uncompromising voice broke through my dream. I reluctantly unglued eyelids and blinked a few times, dropping the remains of the dream from myself. By the feeling - I got a good night’s sleep. Generally. Don't see any lack of energy, only wings are moaning from yesterday... Princess gave me a joyful ending of the yesterday’s walk, bastard. Here we go, I think I feel hunger. Welcome back, damn it... Why? It was so good without you... I’m getting out of the blanket and almost routinely standing on my own four hooves, soft pads of which are nicely tickling fluff of carpet. Celestia, standing half-turn to me, is keeping an eye at something behind a window. “Good morning.” She turns to me when I end stretching and crunch with my spine and wings. “Greetings.” I nod in answer. “When is my flight to Ponyville?” “When you end your things to do here.” Princess said it like it was out of the question. “What things do I even have? I have none here, and there... Honestly, I have no clue what to do in Ponyville except for my own acquisition in the world and prodigalize your money.” I waved with my fore leg with vexation. I thought about it yesterday before sleep. I don't like this situation, and I couldn't come up with something. “Hm...” Celestia closely gazed at my croup. Hey, what's that gaze all about?! If she suggests settling down in a bar and making living by throwing marked part of my body about - I’ll strike her! Wait. I’m an idiot! Come on, what do ponies have on their croups? Ri-i-ight, a picture. And until now I didn't even bother to find out which one I have on my hull back albeit there’s a mirror nearby! Got too excited yesterday and the day before it so much that I didn't even examine myself for a bit. Damn, I didn't even remember about the mark for these days, although it's not surprising probably... “Identical, except for small parts.” Princess said, making a verdict with shadows of wonder in her voice, raising a distrustful gaze at me. What's she talking about? “I've realized, that your cutie mark is almost identical to the Luna's cutie mark.” Tia answered at the unspoken question. “She has a crescent against a black cloud, you - against a purple one. And I almost sure that even shape of these clouds are the same! I see it for the first time ever. Related marks - yes, it's reality, but almost identical?” She shook her head. “And what's my talent in that case?” I tried to turn my head to see my mark. To not small surprise - I did, although only with one eye. “Luna's talent tied with the night and dream. She controls the Moon and stars, she's capable of entering the world of dreams, where she can watch, change and even create dreams of other ponies, or even hers.” Celestia discovered it to me with thoughtfulness. “Your talent, undoubtedly, is also tied with the night, but how - I don't know. Supposedly, your talents are in the same fields if your cutie marks are so similar...” Celestia started to gaze at my croup again. “When in doubt leave it out.” I turned to Princess with all my body, cutting off her view to my hind feet. “The skill of raising the Moon isn't going to be very useful in Ponyville.” “When in doubt leave it out...” Tia chuckled. “An interesting phrasing. What does it mean?” I bit my tongue, calling myself an idiot once again. Watch out with the idioms that are not known here! Nightmare Moon's credit of trust is low even without this, and who knows to what level it drops if someone would understand that me isn't she? “It means: “Postpone this problem so it does not bother to solve others, more emergent or important.” I made it up on the hoof. “Where I know it from - don't ask, I simply don't remember it.” “Fine, let’s leave it out.” Princess nodded after a few second, accepting my explanation. “Though we cannot understand your talent - try to find profession to your liking, and, maybe, you’ll solve this enigma by yourself and find your talent.” Celestia marked a smile. “I’ll try to talk with Luna - maybe she has some guesses.” “Go as far away as you can and do something”? I thought with a mix of distrust and bewilderment. No, I can't understand Celly. Leave off such a character with my reputation without any specific job, even though under some supervision... Fine, her problems. “About your things to do here.” Continued Princess. “Don't you want to make a light meal or take a shower? “Shower?” Damn it, there’s a shower here? Why didn't you say it right on the spot? They settled into a groove very well in the castle... “Earlier, if you remember, pegasi washed under clouds, calling rain. And now this rain of water with any pleasant temperature is in almost any house.” Celestia understood my exclamation in her way. “Let's go?” “Won't be against it.” I nodded and followed Princess. We walked out of the room in a lonely and silent hallway. There are no windows - lighting is made of some strange candelabra, giving soft warm light. I couldn't examine the source of it, but it's undoubtedly not an electric lamp. And there was nothing more interesting in the hallway. Obviously, they put me out of sight in the most seldom-visited corner of the castle - there’s even almost none of decor. However, in my situation, even this entertainment triggered dismay with gratefulness. Seriously count on something better than a comfortable individual cell for a character with such reputation was out of the question, but...She surprised me. Being busy with thoughts - what time? - about Celestia's reasons and aims, I didn't even notice how we came. Princess thoroughly instructed me about the system of ponies’ shower, some household chemicals, the way back to the room and after wishing me to enjoy the process, made a bow, leaving me alone. ... Ponies’ bathroom equipment is rather tricky, with massive gripes for teeth or hooves standing out especially - they planned it for every race of ponykind. I tried to move them without telekineses just out of curiosity. After the day before yesterday’s lesson and yesterday’s intense practice, which I organized for myself, telekineses goes almost without any stress. What to say? Fairly ergonomic, but it’s still a pair of crutches. Who does not have the ability of telekineses - they're fine, I think, but it’s still a lot easier and more comfortable with the magic. Pile of flasks, which stood here, impresses with its variety. Shampoo for mane and tail, gel for fur, liquid for hooves, essence for feathers, toothpaste, some foams, creams, masks and who the hell knows what else and for what purpose. I silently thanked Princess for her explanation that was put briefly and was about the things I’ll need. She put aside needed flasks, and there are four of them. Shower puff is also not in use amongst ponies; instead, I discovered some brushes and scrapers with cleverly hooped grips. Well, this thing is for this, but what about this thing? Ah, to hell with it, why do I have to look at them? I’ll understand in the process - what and where to. I grabbed liked exemplar, almost turned to the shower, but spotted a big standing mirror on a wall out of the corner of my eye, laid aside the brush and moved to it. I remembered that I didn't bother to examine my appearance yesterday, so I want to fix it. It’s interesting for Christ's sake! “Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the scariest one of all? Who has the sharpest teeth and the blackest of all has been?” While chuckling, I summarized the minutes I have been gazing at my reflexion. No, I liked my new appearance in general: the body looked elegantly and menacingly, like a military aircraft. It's beautiful in this way - the way of arms. But there are serious doubts about local pacifists and their opinions towards it. Anthracitic-black fur, deep purple, slightly crimp mane and tail, luminous turquoise eyes with vertical pupils like interstices. Honestly - this gaze makes even me feel uncomfortable. I can only wonder how Celestia keeps her friendly expression looking in my eyes... But the most interesting was below: chops - I can't name it mouth even with force - that can impress you with eight incisors, a real saw made of - just imagine! - sixteen fangs, the longest of which will force any vampire to be jealous, and some amount of permanent teeth, but I couldn't count how much. I, of course, pretty far away from the knowledge of biology and stomatology, but, if my memory doesn't fail me, such a kit of teeth is unusual for herbivores: at least I didn't see any fangs in Celestia's mouth. This conclusions brings up two questions: would this body be happy about eating meat and how much nervous the ponies would be about this? I should check this out, heh... Ending with the survey, I finally went to the shower itself, foretasting pleasant pricking of its streams on my skin... Or, if to be precise, on my fell, maybe. ... I was thoughtful and dark when I went out from shower: during the washing I clearly understood: it's not “he is an idiot”, now it’s “SHE is an idiot”. Put the problem in a dark corner and diligently ignore it would be effective until you bump into the udder. Your own udder, fucking hell! A pair of small soft and very sensitive hills under the belly between hind legs forces into stupor and prostration. No, I knew that Nightmare Moon, whose body I have occupied, is not a stallion, quite the contrary, but this encounter with reality head-on is still quite stunning. What to do with it, eh? There are no ideas of solving it, so the only thing I could make up and what was not so seriously protesting inside my soul is the continuation of keeping the problem in a dark corner, trying to not think about it and keeping celibacy, hoping that the physiology of local ponies differences from earth horses in this case. Change of species is more than enough for me even without change of sex, really... On the another hand, the body I've been given is a really good one. No danger of being old, no danger of being dead of sicknesses or a really low chance of it. Health - I chuckled - horsy, it’s time to till the ground. It’s just not what it used to be, when a walk to a cardiologist was more often than to a hairdresser... And I’m not even talking about horn and wings, whose abilities bemuse and make the heart soar. Is it worth to change sex for it? From a rational point of view, maybe, yes and more. But the only thought of it and it's uncomfortable and... Scary, I don’t know. Fine, when in doubt leave it out. How much can I think about bad things? Let’s think about good ones! For example: a man walked out from the shower room and he's so clean... “Or she's so clean?” “Dammit.” I tiredly swore at this completely ill-timed short thought and shook my head, trying to force it out of my head. It’s enough of thoughts for me! It’s time to go back, Princess can miss me completely. With a definite step I went out in the hallway. Tia said to go?.. Fine, she reminded me of this more than once - I completely didn't watch out for the way back while thinking about things. Left until the crossroad, the last door on the left of it before it is mine, I think so. OK, let's go. I’ll think about my... “Hill under the belly” after some time. And it's better for this time to come as late as possible. ... When I returned to the room, in which I have been for the last couple of days, I saw a luncheon made of some salad, a few fruits, cakes and tea, and also a note and... I couldn't believe my eyes: near me, on the bed, a set of armor was put together. Four shoes, a breastplate with a crescent on it and a distinctive helmet with notches for ears and horn. I gravely rubbed my forehead under horn with a hoof, and with every second a feeling of being a victim of some prank or I’m just an idiot is growing. Now it was a habit to put a drip of energy into my horn to drag the note up to my eyes. “I hope you enjoyed your bath, Nightmare. As you could see, I returned your armor. If they were on you back in the old castle, I think that it's rightly yours and I believe this is a need to give it back to you. Your breakfast on your table. Enjoy your meal. Celestia.” I eased my grip on the note, thoughtlessly looking as it's sliding and spinning in the air, slowly dropping to carpet. This insane white horse will wrench my brain soon. For an interest: if I demand my glaive - she will bring it back as well? Why not? It's allowable to give lessons of magic to yesterday’s public criminal, to pay money and to give back her battle gear - why shouldn't we give a weapon to her? With all my force of will I suppressed the desire of going to a wall and crushing my head against it. Why is she doing this, why?! Or she's so confident in her powers that she can afford such wide gestures to buy my loyalty? I lifted the note and read it again. Fine, it's better to not think about it for now. Never slap a gift horse. I’ll think about this pile of iron later when Tia arrives. It's better to look at what they have to feed me - my stomach gave a tip to me multiple times about the voidness there. It was so good without hunger... I thoughtfully looked at the bed and found a place near it, sat right on the carpet. I was laying for the last week as a bunch of lazy bureaucrats. And I never tried to sit like a pony, constantly rotating standing with laying, so it was just interesting about the feeling of it. It's actually more comfortable than it might look from another side - I weighed the pose for a few minutes and finally turned my attention to the table. To begin with, the first one was the salad. It, for the first look, depresses with its shortage of everything: no meat, no fish, no even such basic things as mushrooms or eggs. I know these: for even a slight feeling of having a good meal you have to eat a whole basin, but you’ll be hungry after an hour... I winced. Will try it, of course - maybe it would be tasty in my mouth. What was more remarkable than this small hill of vegetation is a spoon, forced into it, and at the end of grip of this spoon was not a big round slab. Well... I touched the slab with my hoof and with a small force of mind I got a spoon that was glued to my limb like it was a powerful magnet. Hey, it worked! This hoofkenesis works! I was lucky to see and feel its usage in the Nightmare's memory, but I had no time to test it - I got used to use my horn... I shook the leg toughly - it holds. Funny thing. But a hand is still more comfortable. Except for the salad with an interesting spoon there was a vase with fruits on the table - some big, beautiful apples and peaches - a small kettle with tea - or, more likely, a tea bowl - without any grip and a plate with a decent hill of various cakes. Well, let's sample it! “Enjoy your meal!” I said to myself loudly and saluted with a spoon, glued to my hoof into space with a smile. ... Yeah, I didn't except that... I didn't think that it's possible to get a sensory shock because of taste sensations. I swept an eye over the empty dishes at the table. Everything has been eaten, there’s no crumb left! It was the nicest meal of my life! And, maybe, there wouldn't be like this again - I will get used to it. I made a fast statement that this storm of feelings in mouth is a result of a thousand-year starvation. The body missed tastes... I swept the table with my gaze once again and sighed hopelessly. No, there’s nothing left. Even peaches’ stones - even they... Well, they disappeared. Its bitterness was so piquant, they crunched so well, ah... I got on my feet, feeling a pleasant heaviness in stomach, and turned to the bed, where the elements of armor lay. Yeah, Tia loaded me... What is it? A friendly gesture of trust? Some test? If test - about what? Damn it! And as much as I know her, it would be fine for her to give for nothing to me because of the reason she wrote in the note. And then she perplexedly shrugs with her wings on all my questions: “I just gave back what’s yours and that's all”... Mad horses, I have no other words... Degree of believe and carelessness is just uncountable! Or I just don't understand something or can't see something, it must be counted. Lastly, I imagine abilities of magic very vaguely. Maybe Tia, as a wizard of extra-class, can afford such behavior... But not with Nightmare Moon that almost killed her in the stand-out performance! I plunked onto the wide bed with a moan and gazed at the laying helmet just before my nose. There was a complete incomprehension in my head. During the waiting of Princess - she couldn't let me be alone for that long - I lifted the helmet with telekinesis and started to look at it. Made of smooth and shining silvery metal with a blue reflux. It was a secret to me how it was made, as I'm not a specialist, but it's not forging apparently. Weighed on a hoof - pretty much light for its proportions. At the top - notches for the horn and ears. At the back - elastic tabulate neck-flap covers neck, including sides. At the front - huge cut-outs for huge eyes. Nasal covers only face between eyes, prominent muzzle is staying without any protection. Inside - resilient paddy casing made of an unknown material for me. Measurement of the helmet cannot be regulated - it was made for only one specific head. I put the helmet aside. A strange product. On one hand, it looks practical, and by the scratches and small fractures - this helmet is battle-hardened. But from another side, for a battle helmet its protection - not to mention the rest of armor - straightly looks insufficient. Eyes are not covered, horn and ears are not covered, neck at the front as well... Or the warfare in this place is a different from ours and a light breastplate and a helmet, that doesn't cover evident weak points is an adequate protection for the local conditions. Generally, for my taste - this whole pile of gear gives only symbolic protection and most likely needs to be put on only for creation of the canonical character of Nightmare Moon. In the end, if I’m going to fight - I have to find or even create a good set of armor. I think the fact that Tia gave me this armor may not look so strange now. Where to use it, really? For a parade this set is too simple, for a fight - too useless. So she gave me them with words: “Let Nightmare have a headache what to do with all of this.” I chuckled. Lifted the helmet with telekinesis again and tried to put it on my head, deciding to not bother about mane's set: it will lay as it will. “Ouch, damn...” I hissed when I didn't fit the working horn correctly and hit it against an edge of the helmet. The feeling was like I got hit in my horn, telekinesis faded instantly when I didn't hold concentration and helmet fell at me from above, catching my bulged nose with its edge painfully. Strange feeling, really. It was not so painful when the helmet hit my horn: just something like a wave spread out from the hit place after the impact, knocking out my concentration. I think if I had been more experienced with it - I could have saved it. I carefully touched the faded horn with a hoof. A bone. A hard bone. No special sensations. I lighted a turquoise speck at the end of my horn and tried again. Boom! I feel a sensation of an impact wave in my head again, light mess in my head, I cannot hold my concentration once again and the speck vanished. An interesting effect... Will keep it in mind. I was going to examine the breastplate, but the door was opened and Celestia came in, behind her back some saddle bags soared in a golden cloud. “Chariot is here, Nightmare. Are you ready?” She went to business right of the reel. “Pretty much. Thanks for the food, it was tasty.” I thankfully nodded at her, standing up from the bed. “Listen...” I hesitated, thinking what's a better way to start. “Yes?” She turned her focused gaze of her pink eyes at me. “Explain it to me, please... Why do you care so much about me? Treatment, lessons, money... Fine, I can understand that. But armor?! What does it all mean? Why?” I shook my head distrustfully. “I don't understand you!” A confession broke out after a small pause even before I could think about it. “I already told you, that I do it from a pure heart.” Princess drooped. “Or you don't trust in my ability to be sorry about my actions? To forgive you? I’m not the Queen you were fighting with, not the Queen that couldn't sympathize and see her own mistakes!” She ended with a clinking voice. “Sorry, I didn't want to hurt you!” I looked down contritely. Damn, idiot inside of me didn't think she can react like that! It's not pleasant for her to remember those days, yes, but in reality - it really hurts her. “Sorry! But... How to say? There was a lot of things between us in the past... Not good things.” I chose a streamlined explanation. “And I think that you met me not worse than your own sister.” Celestia was listening me with an unreadable expression. It was not pleasant even for me to bring up this topic: whatever goals and aims motivated her, she made a lot for me and didn't ask anything in return. But I couldn't take it anymore. Lack of understanding of her actions already caused something like despair. It’s unlikely that she would even answer, but I couldn't hold it much longer in my own mind. The armor was the last straw. “You were speaking then: “A second chance.” I continued my thought. “It could have been understood by me if you had just healed me, gave a hundred bits for the first time and just let me out. But you take care of me - of a dangerous criminal and your recent enemy - like I’m your sibling! Why?! It just can't be!” The last words sounded somehow pathetically. “Do you know how it can be, Nightmare?” Princess asks sadly. I set my view at the floor, diligently examining my own hooves that were sinking in the soft hair of the carpet. An interesting contrast: the carpet is bright, my legs - coal-black... Do I know? I guess I do: I heard of intelligence agency's methods of doing things, albeit I will not take responsibility to judge what's true and what's not. And this is with an adjustment that the agencies are ours, human ones. What's about here, in Equestria? “No, I don't know.” I stop too prolonged pause. “But I’m sure that this is not possible.” “Was there anything good in your whole life?” Princess asked quietly, taking the breastplate from bed and now carefully examining it, looking away from me. I opened mouth to answer affirmatively... And shut it, not saying even a word. There were good things in my life, even though I remember them through serious noise. But in a sufficient degree to say that I was happy. But it was there. In the life where everything has stopped. And what was good in Nightmare's life? The only thing she remembered as a “good thing” is the vision of the solar eclipse, made by her and Luna just before the battle with the Queen. That’s all. The only good memory. For some reason I remembered a vaguely known dialog: “What's your best day of your life?” “The day of my death.” I bit a lip till pain. It's so... “You’re silent. You're silent, Nightmare.” Celestia's sad voice was heard as a rolling thunder in the silence of the bedroom. I shivered from this surprise reflexively. “You said: “A criminal, your enemy...” No, Nightmare, you're neither of this. You just a pony that never was happy and never trusted anyone... I just want to show you that there’s something better in the world than just endless fights. Show you what happiness is, what friendship is... And you deserve it too.” Princess laid the breastplate aside and turned to me. Her eyes shine strangely. “Thanks for the kind words, Princess.” I said after a pause. Except that these kind words are not for me, but for the person, from which this body is the only thing left of her... “But don't feel sorry for me, really. About trust... I trusted. I trusted Luna. You know what had happened because of that.” A heavy silence falls between us for a few long seconds. And nevertheless I chose to say everything to Tia head-on. “So now it's important for me to understand what you want to achieve by helping me. To understand what's the finale may be for me and whether I would have to pay for your hospitality a hundredfold. For me... It’s too hard to accept your kindness as something right. Sorry.” I thoughtfully stared out a window with a view of cloudless sky, suppressing a desire within to look at Tia. I wanted to trust this odd, illogical, strange kindness! What if she really did everything from a pure heart, without any subtext? It's nasty for me to offend her faith, but I just can't trust her. I can't. “I... I understand.” Celestia answered with a colorless voice. “I hope that time would heal your wounds and one day you will be able to put trust in others.” I finally turn my gaze at Princess. She dully looks at paintings on walls, keeping her neutral face, but somehow I understand that this pretend calmness is not an easy task for her. “Well, if it would be easy for you, you can think that since you're an alicorn - you’re of a great value for Equestria by the mere fact of your existence and my profit is in that fact.” Celestia turned to me and represented a smile. Damn it. Didn't want to offend her. But I couldn't trust in this either! What did I have to do? I sighed and took a shoe from the bed. Wanted to say more, but didn't have words for it. Celestia, while thoughtfully examining a pattern on the carpet, did not have either. I set the shoe on the floor and carefully put my hind left leg in it. A silent click of the holding mechanism sounded like a shot in the dangling quiet, which forced musing Princess to get back into reality and shudder as she was looking at me again. “Can I help you?” “If you want to.” I moved my wing vaguely. In a concentrated silence Tia helped me to robe in the armor, fixating the bags on my shoulders she brought with her before leaving. Design of these, unlike to the classic for other ponies, was made to not bother the user’s wings. “There’s money for a start until you get familiar.” Princess explained. “Let’s go.” She is not looking back and coming to the door. I followed her, berating myself for stupidity and loose tongue. We went out in the already familiar hallway, but this time we turned another side. It was not a long walk - there was a guardian on a crossroad already - a white unicorn in golden armor, which made a step back and notably tightened when he saw me, muttering something under his breath. “Lieutenant Shining Armor will escort you to the chariot.” Princess turned to me. “I have to go - I fear, that there are urgent things that must be taken care of by me. Goodbye, Nightmare Moon.” Celestia moved away from the crossroad and didn't even wait for my answer. “All the best, Princess Thanks for everything.” I answered a few seconds later. She turned back for a moment, giving me a farewell gaze, and continued her way, loudly clattering with her shoes on the stone flooring of the hallway. ... I examined future captain of the Royal guard with interest along the way. Massive white unicorn with bright blue mane dangerously looked askew at me in answer, trying to not lose me from his point of view and keeping gripping silence. It was slightly unusual to be taller for a whole head: while being in the Princess Celestia’s society, with her being something like the same height as me, I reflexively got used to normality and that my sizes are medium, and now a clearly tall pony, hardly getting my chin with his top is a something like discordance. While being both silent, we reached an exit to a platform, where a chariot with a pair of pegasi in armor stood. Even if Shining wanted to say something - he didn't have courage to, and I simply had no desire to talk to anyone after the failed talk and a cold farewell with Princess. The guardians, that synchronously turned to sounds of our steps on a causeway, equally synchronously shivered and stepped back. “Screw me dead...” One of the pegasi dropped it with a mix of fear and admiration, while examining me. Catching the guardian's gaze, I smiled at him kindly and chuckled when he turned away swiftly after taking a step back. Pfft, what a deal - fangs, what to be scared of? I smirked silently. “Do you remember the Princess’ instructions?” Shining addressed to the guardians. “Quick and smooth carry...Mmm... Of the Guest of Her Highness.” Lieutenant found the words, confused for a moment. “To Ponyville, let off on the outskirts at the same place where you always do and after you made your way back - not a single word. Clear?” He glanced at me for some reason, like he's addressing the question to me. I answered with an indifferent gaze, and he shivered and quickly turned to his subordinates. “Sir, yes sir!” The guardians replied like a chorus, while trying to ignore my existence, but still looking at me from time to time. “Go on.” Said Shining. “Come on in...” He hesitated again, he doesn't know how to address to me clearly, so after swallowing his phrase, he just waved with his hoof to the side of my transport invitingly, where pegasi are already hitched to it. I wordlessly went to the chariot and swept a mistrustful gaze over it. This construction triggers specific concerns. No, it's very thick wood, topped with gilding and enriched with gilded metal decor, it looks absolutely solid and reliable in itself... But not for a flying machine clearly! Well, Tia's short lesson about flying was learned by me back in days, under the window. I was right, I was so damn right about her gaze and how I didn't like it... Yeah... And the most important and bitter - I can't fly for now. But, at least, I’d be able to glide down and not be killed dead when I land, if this thing would break up in the air. I hope so... I stepped inside the chariot, loudly clattering with my shoes on the planking and, after thinking for some time, made myself sit. Yeah, bare boards aren't a carpet... Fine, bearable. “Forward.” I shortly marked my readiness to the fly. The pegasi shivered simultaneously because of my voice. Yeah... I feel that there still will be problems with the locals, if even prepared military personal reacts with fear. Shining looks more cool-headed, but it's still easily detectable that he straightly watches for me with worries. While deep in thoughts, I lost the moment when pegasi started to run and this miserable wooden construction took off with me inside. I carefully looked overboard and swept a quick gaze over the Shining's reducing figure that is going back into the castle. My heart skipped a beat. How big the altitude is? With a force of will I suppressed the desire to turn back and to not look down: I’m a winged one, why should I fear altitude?! I have to get used to it, even though... Uh... It’s uncomfortable, yeah. I have to get used to a lot of things: ponies with their strange and paradoxical perspective on life, my wings, magic... Udder under the belly, yeah... Everything turned upside down. There’s a strange and foreign world around me, with its own rules. A world where I, as I think, hardly needed to anyone... And now I have to live here. I joylessly chuckled.
12. The Returning of The QueenI followed the retreating chariot with a long stare. It gradually became a black dot on the clear blue sky, and I looked around. The sight from a relatively small ridge, on which I was left, wasn't bad: I can see some river, a lake is shining with its expanse, and a gloomy wall of dark pines of the Everfree forest is rising at the opposite side of the ridge. Of course I can clearly see Ponyville: it’s within walking distance from its outskirts. Gaily decorated and beautiful houses of the town with their bright and various roofs are making me think that these are toys, especially from a distance. One small issue: the library inside of a tree isn't seen from here. And I didn't bother to examine town from above during the fly: was busy with my own thoughts. Alas, but it doesn't give me clearness where to go. And what to do now? Honestly - after Tia's letter I thought that they will meet me here. But no, there are only dragonflies and butterflies with me on the ridge. Do I want to look for the library by myself? I cringed. Not a good idea, to be honest. I wouldn't get lost, but there’s a great chance of me having to go over with a tooth-comb, and this is not a fast thing. Of course, there's an idea on the surface - ask the locals about the way, but I have very big doubts about this. I don't want to chase them and breach their houses’ doors...The guards’ reaction was very clear - and it must be taken with the fact that Princess seemingly said them to not fear me like ten times and... What options do I even have? Stand here and just wait. And it would be me, waiting here, and them, waiting there, yeah. What a great situation would it be. Although, at first sight, it's more logical for them to meet me here, but... I eyed my shoe on the right fore leg with a long stare. According to my experience - pony's logic is not a logical one, sometimes very incomprehensible to me. I wouldn't put it past them.. Find it from above? It would be awesome, but with my flying skills - any gust of wind can end my flight with a very fat “whack” against the ground. And this is without taking into account the armor and bags, and the fact that the most of their weight is on the fore legs, and a change of the gravity center in the air would be more noticeable, and most likely, fatal. I finished another circle at the top of the ridge, threw another glance towards town, but didn't see any welcoming committee coming again. God damn it... “No one writes to the colonel, no one waits him.” I remembered a famous song by “Bi-2” aloud and sighed. And no one waited me here and no one does. There’s no one in this world to wait for me, and there’s no need in this... I crossly sniffed, banishing coming melancholy. It was in a very horse style, which forced me to smile. That's better. I magnetized a hoof to the helmet and slowly took it off my head. Then I derived the only thing the left bag had contained - a sack with coins that I threw into the right one without looking - by the way, I must check what's inside of it. I folded laminar neck flap and I managed to put the helmet inside of the now free left bag by a miracle. I can let grass grow under feet until the evening, so I, by a logical choice - and if to be honest, I was just bored - decided to go into the town and try to find the library by myself. I hope that I'd look a little bit friendlier without the helmet - maybe I'd be able to talk with someone, who knows. When I assured myself, that this left bag won't close once again - the helmet was too big for it - I just spat on it and got moving towards Ponyville. ... It seems that citizens of Ponyville are very familiar with history and its figures. Or maybe they just remember the first visit of Nightmare very brightly... Metallic clop of my shoes on the stones of a road echoes through the empty streets of the town. You can hear a swinging sign of some store grits on the wind. Wherever I look, my gaze meet only closed doors and densely drawn curtains. I reflexively cringed from the feeling of stress in the air, and it seems so thick that you can chop it with a knife. Literally a ghost town, God damn it... Streets started to die out because of my approaching with such speed that I just couldn't believe my eyes at first. The process of escape became epidemic - ponies just evaporated before my eyes. I couldn't get closer than fifty meters to anyone. That's...disconcerting. Even I couldn't have predicted the reaction I would meet, but I wasn't prepared for such massive panic. I came closer to a circled house with a shed as an addition, under which tables and chairs were standing. By the sign of a cocktail wineglass, it wasn't a mystery that this was a public catering. There were such wineglasses on some tables, it seems that they were abandoned in a hurry, someone's dropped his notebook on the floor, sheets of which are being twitched by the wind... Well, this store definitely has been intact today, and it seems this house is a residential one, so it’s very possible that the owners hid there. I approached a small door and knocked delicately. This quiet sound was similar to a burst of gunshots in prevailing voicelessness. I listened closely, trying to catch at least a sound behind the door, but didn't hear anything except my own breathing. I raised a hoof, fitting it for a go-od knock, but after a second of thinking, I downed it onto the ground. Breaching the door isn't a question, but making the owners giving me some good answer is. They already fear to breathe there, and what would happen if I breach it? No point in doing that. “Damned cowards.” I hummed under my breath, shook my head unhappily and turned away from the door. Yea-ah... And what's now? Sighing annoyingly, I moved on down the street. Situation is starting to anger me. I moved around the town enough to find famous Rarity’s “Carousel” - no one opened the door - mayor's office on the central square, public park, but the damned library is nowhere to be seen. Sometimes it looks like this fuc... This residential oak has dug himself out of the ground and now running away from me around all of Ponyville, hiding behind houses and laughing at me in his dense crown. I sadly chuckled at this insanity that came to my head. No, I have to do something with my reputation - a thought came to my head after like fifteen minutes of futile walking across wordless streets. I do not see anything bad if someone's afraid of you and don't get cocky, but when whole streets are dying out because of you... I appeared from another turn and froze like a statue, trying to even breathe quieter. Yes! On a crossroad, a pony of cream color stands, with her back turned to me. Pale green tail of the mare frighteningly stuck to the belly, she was shifting from one foot to another nervously and fearfully looking around, it seems like she's picking a side to run - left or right. Got lost, huh? Yeah, I wouldn't get much out of her... Well, maybe she doesn't know this district - turned to a wrong side in panic - but she knows where the library is? Anyways, at least I have someone to ask - maybe she’d give me some answers... A known feeling is coming from my magic source, sending a warm wave into the horn, the muscles of the neck are tensing, I’m concentrating almost routinely ... Turquoise glowing is seizing mare's fore legs. She's feeling the touch of telekinesis and frighteningly screaming, twitching her fixed legs in vain. I compensate her force, adding a little bit of extra energy. I got you. Earthpony is looking around in panic and hit her gaze upon me. “Good day. If you don't run away - I’ll let you go. I just want to ask you some questions.” I informed the mare with a static tone, while kicking my entirely ill-placed black humor on the tip of my tongue down my throat and diligently holding my face with a normal expression - it’s not time to smile, God damn it... She’ll go nuts if I show my fangs, she's already twitching like an aspen leaf. Saying something relaxing like “I won't hurt you”, “Don't fear me” or similar isn't the way I have courage to go. It’s a common fact that nothing creates such panic as a request to stay calm. And I hope that these constructive proposals from my side will help her to get herself up... After making a few steps towards the pony I understand with sadness - it won't. Mare, twitching frivolously, tries to escape fitfully, but just falls onto her croup, trying to separate her hooves and the ground in vain. The pony's eyes are full of tears and terror, and it's directly said on her face: “This is the end!” I turn my gaze away - didn't think in the first place, that your eyes are not a welcoming gesture, did you, idiot? “Please, tell me - which way to the library?” I look away from the frightened pony diligently and even turn off my telekinesis. I doubt she would run away that far, but, maybe, she’d calm a bit... Only a muffled sob as an answer. I've had enough of your fear, damned cowards and pathetic dogs! What’s wrong, God damn it?! Where this reaction even comes from? I remember that when Nightmare Moon came during her first time, there wasn't such reaction, or not such massive one at least! But with Zecora it was something similar, but the other way around... Maybe it's a pleasure for them - to fear someone, huh? Gonna check it now - I gloomily smile with the edges of my lips. The polite side isn't working you say... “Where do I find Celestia's protégé?” Now I use the other way around: I loom large over the pony, boring a hole with my heavy gaze. She lifts her tearful eyes for a moment, twitches and falls onto a causeway, closing her eyes with the fore hooves and frighteningly lays back her ears. Yeah... It doesn't work either. What to fucking do? I touch a side of the twitching mare with my shoe thoughtfully. She jiggles, like it was a punch, making a muffled squeak. I’m tiredly sighing, lifting my eyes to the sky. It’s time to choose: either drop this stupid creature or just kiss her, like a last-ditch measure - maybe this would work? I made a step forward while thinking, and something like a train rammed into me. A powerful punch from the right to the ribs, passing by the wing miraculously, nailed me to the ground, while my brow took a hit against a road stone, and, it seems, that I bit my cheek ‘till blood. “Fu...cking shi-it!” I said huskily and started to cough. Tears are breaking from my eyes, white dots filled my view, flying chaotically, air, that is kicked out from my lungs like it was a sledgehammer, cannot be taken back. What a fucking encounter... What the hell was fucking that?! Or “who” - I corrected, winking tears away and lifting a muddy gaze at the azure pegasus with a rainbow mane, standing a few meters away. I think she was saying something, but the words flew by my mind. I barely stood up, setting my legs wider for their fixity. The brow was pulsating with awful twitching pain, recently healed ribs are whining like hell, shooting pain in the wing, especially giving itself away when breathing, and the mouth started to fill itself with blood from an internal part of the bitten cheek that now hangs like rags. Why the heck did you do that? Nothing to do and just decided to bark at me?! I looked at the cockily smiling pegasus with hatred. It was the last nail in the coffin, bitch. I spit blood on the road and licked my lips, fixing a heavy gaze at my enemy. She paled a bit and looked away. “You wanted war?” I wheezed out to her darkly. “I’ll give it to you, painted skank.” Pegasus tensed, either preparing to run or meeting a punch, but neither of those are gonna happen - I won't allow to. What can I do with the magic part? Only the most primitive ones: telekinesis, magic light and a pair of same childish focuses. Is it a war-winning machine? With someone like Celestia - no, but the pegasus will get enough of it. How? Easily: whatever comes to the hands of a human being, he would make a weapon out of it. Why ponies of Equestria light their magic at the end of a horn, even though it's unwieldy? Because there’s no battery-element, relatively complex in performance in the most well known version of the spell, and the magic dies out in a moment without energy from the horn. I don't need more than that. I concentrate for a second, creating a clot of light right before the pegasus’ eyes, filling it with energy for more brightness zestily. Half a second - and it's gone, but it's more than enough for the azure mare to step back, screaming in surprise, freezing on the spot, trying to rub the eyes with a hoof and downing the ready-to-go wings. Yeah, it is a bad idea to fly without eyesight. “So you have to stay on the ground with me, punk.” An evil smile decorates my face by itself. A few steps towards the enemy. Turning to the sound, she opens her tearful eyes with force, trying to see me, and gets another ball of light in her face. I must come closer, swing a fore leg and, while rearing up, nail this armored hoof right into enemy's side with all of its weight; she's unfolded her wings, seemingly trying to get back and avoid such a close distance with their help. The punch goes right into the wing's root, and surprisingly for me, it just folds, like because of a reflex, cramping against her side brokenly. Still blinded and disoriented pegasus painfully screams and tries to jump aside, but loses her balance, and I also add some force by telekinesis, pressing her into the stones of the causeway, forcing to fall on doubled up legs and spread eagle on the road. Spit blood out again, wrinkling from an unpleasant metal taste in the mouth. “And?” The voice is still weak, I’m breathing with force. “What have you achieved, scum bag? Why did you...” “Hey, you! Get back from her! Now!” A known voice sounds foggily. I slowly lift up a full-of-promise gaze at its owner. O, hello there. Couldn't you have come a minute ago, when she was breaking my ribs because of nothing to do? There were four ponies on the road that I knew because of the cartoon, drilling me with surprised, blaming and gloom glances. All that’s missing is Fluttershy. “Get back, right now!” Applejack repeats harshly, scowling at me and coming at me with her friends. Unicorns support her with their speaking glances, but only Pinkie looks at with some sad incomprehension. “Why do you do that?” I read it in the eyes of the pink mare. I cast a satisfied glance at the spread eagled azure pegasus, pinned down by my telekinesis to the road, moaning chokingly and trying to dash away tears from her muzzle despite my telekinetic press. Does it hurt, ay? You’re crying? Do you think your punch was a tickle for me, huh? I spit blood out once again on the road. When it will stop already? I lift a gaze at the farmer. She's looking at me unfriendly. Her words aren't looking as a polite ask, but I wouldn't heat it up. I hope I've managed to say my thought to Dash: beating people because of a bad mood or demonstrate your coolness on me isn't the smartest idea? I release telekinesis, feeling how the muscles of my neck are relaxing with relief, and make a few awkward steps back - harshly burning side is reminding about itself. Did she ram me from a dive? Coming closer, pony gaze at me hostilely, surround their friend and trying to outdo each other about her shape - I don't pay a lot of attention. I put a chill shoe on the hurt brow carefully. Feels without blood, didn't cut it, but I can feel how a bum is springing up there. Should have put the helmet on - I don't look friendly with it, yeah... No one fucking cares about friendliness! Feel our love and magic of friendship, idiot... And I’ll note that this all happened after Tia's letter, in which she warned about my arrival for sure, and, as I assume, offered to show every good side of friendship and cooperation. They did. Vividly. They didn't beat Discord the same way for some reason... “Nightmare!” The lavender unicorn addressed to me. Ponies lined up against me again, Pinkie and Applejack were helping barely standing Dash with their sides: it seems that my punch was hell of a one - pegasus was standing in a canted pose from the pain and hissing, cringing and drilling me with the glance of her narrowed ruby eyes evilly. “It’s wrong! You must apologize!” The Princess’ student said firmly, giving me a harsh gaze, when I gave attention to her. “Bang.” Heart pushed in the chest, bumping pure and sheer rampage into veins and arteries instead of usual blood that it's taken. I pulled in the suddenly thickened air with noise. “You must!” Why the heck I must?! Have you already judged the situation objectively? To clear up what and why has happened? At least ask my point of view? “Nah, such nonsense! You're Nightmare, thus - found guilty! And everything is clear!” My cheek twitched nervously. Go to heck with this method, multicolored fuckers! Nightmare's idea of taking away the Sun was right - you don't deserve it! I make a few steps forward, loom over the lavender unicorn, catch her gaze and peer at her eyes point-blank without blinking. I managed to see fright and perplexity before she turned her gaze away. “I. Don't. Owe. Anyone. Anything. Here!” I say every word through my teeth individually. “Maybe to Celestia and Fluttershy! But not you for sure!” I move away, fighting the desire to spit under the startled unicorn's legs. I've had enough of local hospitality! Turning around sharply, I move back to the ridge, where the chariot had left me. “And what then?” A backstabbing thought shows up in the head, forcing me to roar furiously. I don't fucking know! Come as it may! I don't give a fuck what will be! “Nightmare!” I abruptly turn around at the call. The Princess’ protégé runs to me. Is it that hard to fuck off, stupid horse? “We don't have anything to talk about!” I bark in response. “Go away! If you don't know what to do - help your friends to get this colored crip to a hospital! That's it!” “But...” Unicorn tries to insist confusedly, but I put on pace and don't pay attention to her. Do whatever you want here! Without me! This shit is so known for me: “We don't give a heck who's guilty because you're the one who is! Pay and shrive!” In fact, this is from the childhood... I remember badly, without names and details, but... A time ago I had to stay with grandmother with either nephew or little brother, or cousin... Or second cousin? Damn it, I don't remember! Doesn't matter anyway... It’s clear as day that it’s me who had to babysit and entertain him. Kiddo, of course, wasn't listening to me, tried to slip through every hole, thus earning problems. He could fall, break a mug from the table, a third, a tenth, a who-knows... The kiddo cries, but who would pay the price by the grandmother's opinion? Yeah, there we go... And it could have been my luck if it was just once, but the kiddo sniffed out the trend that he can do everything and nothing counts as his deed, and he started to do a number on me! If I had been maturer, I wouldn't have taken this so seriously and literally, but with healthy indifference and with a bit of humor, but the difference between him and me was... It’s hard to say, but not more than three years, I guess. It was the only time on my memory when I seriously took offense at the grandmother, getting a beating for another someone else’s mistake, and I just couldn't take it anymore - I left her, shutting door loudly and hiding tears diligently. Generally, this stupid horse have chosen the best way to anger me - accuse me of something that I haven't done and tried to force me to bear the blame, groundlessly and without any doubts. I made it to the landing zone with dark thoughts. What now? A thought about moving to the Everfree forest, that's rising at the ridge’s slope like a somber wall, skittered through my mind: unburden myself there, like I had been doing when I was a human, playing meat-grinding shooters and flooding hordes of some beasts in their own blood. After a little bit of thinking, I shook my head negatively. Firstly, I’m not in the right shape to go there without any serious threat for me, and secondly... I just don't want to. After this half an hour that I’ve been going here, the rampage just silenced, leaving emptiness and apathy after - the “cool down” thought came under its own inertia, I guess. Looking around the place, I stopped my gaze at a lake. A big one, sometimes with sandy shores, and it's not overgrown with bushes and canes. There’s nothing of a real sense to go there, but... If I don't give a heck where to go - why not? I sighed and started to haltingly go to the farthest shore from Ponyville, trying to not overload my hurt side. “Why this colored one decided to fight me?” I started thinking, following a dragonfly that moved aside with an absent look. It wasn't an accident - Dash and lost control? Yeah, keep saying that. And the punch was, in terms of accuracy, surgical - very painful, but, it seems, without any serious consequences. If she had punched me twenty-ish centimeters aside - I would have been forced to gather my wings’ bones from scratch. She punched me deliberately. A question rises - why? Princess said that she would write a letter about me. I’m sure there wasn't the “Kill at all costs!” order. No, I was of course understanding that our first meeting with Dash will be harsh anyway, but the expectable maximum of the problem was a verbal fight like: “I don't trust you, I watch you, just try to make a step aside! Got it?” But not a direct attack without any warnings and sayings of pretensions! The biggest thing is that in all this mess, Princess Celestia just can't stand aside and leave it without her attention. It’s clear as day that her student's word is overwhelmingly more important than mine. And if Twi draws a masterpiece about me ravaging the locals and burning the houses and then fighting Dash without any reason - everyone will believe her and will start to blame me for everything. And if my mood’s line would fall as now - it would be counted as a proof and hello Moon, it's been a while... I sadly overlooked the water expanse before me. And here I am, I've made it. Why have I come here, huh... I moved along the lake, listening to the rustle of the sand under my shoes. And what I’m gonna do with all this mess? Honestly - I don't have clue at all. No one would support me - don't have a reason to - and make it through alone... Words of yesterday's criminal against words of the Princess student's herself and four of her friends at least? Not funny at all. I looked at the lake water, rippling in the wind. I just wanted to fall into it and look at it without thinking. Moved above the slope - didn't want to check how sand harmonizes with fur - and lied on the grass. Chilly, unpleasantly, but I don't give a heck about such small things now. If only Dash was «the best one» in inadequateness... Of course there will be another idiot - the Princess’ student, Twilight Sparkle. I was of a way better opinion about her, if I look at the canon... It seemed that she's not the one who shoots from the hip, not the one who blames others without consideration... On the other hand, this is Twilight that only a week ago lived in the Canterlot's library without seeing God's light, not the “Princess of Friendship” Twilight... But what have changed in a better position for me? I put my head on crisscrossed fore legs and cringed when this move caused pain in my hurt cheek. This day was a fuck up... ... After half an hour, my melancholy was interrupted by the most impossible way of all that could have happened. “Hi! Can I talk to you?” Someone rattled off a tongue twister behind my back. I turned my head, already guessing who's there. Didn't fail: there was Pinkie Pie behind me, standing and smiling. Why, I wonder. Especially when she reacted at a way less scary and suspicious Zecora, if I remember the canon correctly. “What do you need?” I barked out, turning back to the lake. I don't want to see anyone at all. Especially Twi's friends. “You're sad!” Said the mare that just came to me, settling down at the grass near me. “What’s that to you, let me know?” I said droopingly. “You and your friends gave me a clear hint - I’m not welcomed here. Not a surprise for me, to be honest...” I badly touched the rags of my cheek with my tongue and hissed from pain. “I’m very-very-very sorry about that!” She exclaimed, laying back ears to the head and sadly looking at me with her blue eyes. “It was a misunderstanding! You see, Twilight haven't had time to notice Rainbow about your coming, and she...” Pinkie silenced mid-word, when I turned my head to her and stared at her savagely. “Who... What... To notice?” I squeezed out, still not believing in what I’ve just heard. “Ah, I forgot about it!” My interlocutor punched her forehead with a hoof. “You don't even know us! The azure pegasus, with whom you've... Well... She's Rainbow Dash, I call her Rainbow! The harsh earthpony with a hat - Applejack, AJ for friends. The white unicorn - Rarity, I call her Marshmallow, but she doesn't like this nickname for some reason. The lavender unicorn, Princess Celestia's student - Twilight Sparkle, or Twilight for short. There’s another yellow pegasus, with pink mane - Fluttershy, or Flutty, she wasn't with us. And my name is Pinkie Pie!” The pink mare said it in one breath, clearly getting pleasure from the acquaintance, even though it hasn't happened yet. “Nightmare Moon.” I named myself shortly, sighing with relief. “Yay! Nice to meet you!” Earthpony jumped at the spot cheerfully. I didn't notice when she was on her four again. “So...” She continued, quieting and settling herself again on the grass next to me. “Twilight didn't have time to warn Rainbow about your arrival. She told me about this only today, and Rarity's got the wind of it today, too...” Pinkie fell into thoughtfulness for a few seconds. “Okay.” She waved with a hoof. “Generally, we were going to Dash, to warn her, when everypony just got a scare and started to run! They said us to run as well, but we moved further - are we going to run without Dash after all? And then, after a corner, we see you, beating her! And you know the rest...” Narrator became sad for a moment. “And then, after your leaving, we sought truth form Rainbow and other ponies.” “What have you found?” I feigned interest in her story. “Dash, not knowing about your arrival, spotted you and thought that you've escaped from Celestia and wanted revenge, Elements of Harmony and the whole of Equestria once again! And when she saw you, dragging poor Honey Fleur, she rushed to rescue! And Fleur herself told us that you, as it seemed, was interested in the Princess’ student here. She lost her mind, because she didn't know even a thing about it, so her memory is short about it.” Pinkie shed light on the situation. “Yeah...” I chuckled sadly. “And, of course, I’m guilty - as always. And I, since... Ehm... Since olden times.” I swallow “since childhood” that was on the tip of my tongue. “Can't stand when someone accuses me of something I haven't done, and in such a categorical way, even without thinking about a second scenario... Ah...” I move with my leg disappointedly. What bullshit did I just say... Just out of the blue... We’ve understood everyone to the eyeballs and beyond, God damn it. Rainbow, if standing for her side, was right and even worthy of respect - she didn't step back, while seeing an enemy from a way another weight category, to save someone. And this is where we are: I think I’m right because I had right to defend myself, she's right because had to save her fellow countryman. And how to make peace with her after all this mess - it's an enigma to me. Also Twilight, making me absolutely mad by her deed. Yeah, it's so funny and easy to accuse someone! What about thinking? Brilliant scientific mind it's called... “Don't get mad at Twilight, please!” It seemed like Pinkie Pie read my thoughts. “She's horribly worrying about the mess she's done, that she let Rainbow down, hurt you, let Princess down... She's really sorry... Since we carried Rainbow to the hospital, she’s restless. It was hard to relieve her mind! And then I thought that no one can relieve your mind, so I came to you.” The mare smiled a little bit sadly at me. “Hey, by the way, do you want a cupcake?” She cheered up sharply, asking me and handing over to me a cupcake with multicolored topping on her hoof. Hey!? Where did she get it?! I aired my concern to the baker. “Took from the mane.” She said like it was a usual thing, looking in my eyes absolutely fearlessly, with her being bright and spontaneous. “This goes naturally all the time.” Pinkie “explained” while seeing my bewildered gaze. “And don't worry - they're tasty all the time! Really-really! Give it a shot!” Pony smiled. “Thanks, but I'd decline.” Succeeding with the shock, I carefully moved her hoof aside with mine own. “The cheek hurts. So I'd not eat anything for now.” “Oh.” Interlocutor's mood dropped down sharply again. “It’s because... Because of Dash, yes? Is the pain very bad?” Pinkie died away completely, laying down her ears. “Bit it when my ribs were under counting. The blood has stopped, and it hurts a little bit less, I think...” Carefully touching the rags with tongue, I painfully cringed. A little bit less, yes. But not enough less! “You have to visit a doctor!” The pink mare leaped to feet energetically. “You were bleeding! You're hurt! And you can't eat my beautiful cupcakes! Let's hurry up!” “Pinkie.” I grabbed the almost panicking pony by the tail with a sigh, forcing her to stop running around, and make a stop at last. “Don't fuss around, will you? You're the first pony to not run away from me in fear and not to beat me here. And for me, firstly, it's not a pleasure to chase your doctors all around the town and then revive him for a solid hour, and secondly, I don't want to get a punch into my ribs from the hospitable citizens of Ponyville, which would be screaming because of their luck.” Pinkie melts down before my own eyes because of my sad irony. “So, thanks for the care, but no. I can do without your doctor - it will heal itself after some time. And if it don't and I die because of wounds - no one will be sad about that.” I’m summing up with a gloomy curved smile, feeling, how disgustful loneliness crawls into my soul. “Don't say so!!!” The pink hurricane almost downed me to the ground. In her suspiciously shining narrowed blue eyes, remorse combines with pity and something else, and I can't understand what it is. “I’ll be sad! Very-very sad, really...” The mare says dismally, sniffing with her nose and backing off sharply. “Yeah? Because what, what’s that to you?” I apathetically look at the waves of the lake, putting head onto my fore legs. “Because you're my friend, Night.” Pinkie declares surely and without missing a beat, settling down near me on the grass once again. I indefinably chuckle, closing eyes. What an unreal world it is, like a toy one... Half an hour of conversations - we're friends, yeah? Such nonsense. Friends do not just meet and speak a little - a friend in need is a friend indeed... It’s like I smash myself against a wall. A friend in need is a friend indeed. So did Pinkie, trying to help me. Who am I to her? She could just spit on it, leave me and be with her friends, Twilight and tea... But no, she found me. Just because she thought that I’m lonely here... Is Pinkie wrong about friends, if she's here, with me, to share my grief and help with my calamity? “Thanks.” I sadly smiled at her, swallowing a lump in the throat. “Thanks a lot...” I unfolded my wing and gratefully hugged a kind pony who cares for me.
13. ThoughtsPrincess Celestia looked at stone Discord tiredly and thoughtfully, on which runes of the hardest spell were slowly fading out, and she was surprised by the ups and downs of life inly. Sometimes it's so sudden and remarkable when it's set: if she hadn't risk and hadn't give a second chance for Nightmare, then, after a year at max - a more powerful enemy could have risen his head and threaten Equestria. The Princess of the Day has not been walking in the garden for a long time, and she doesn't even relax - she has gone into her job with her head. If she hadn't left Nightmare Moon in the castle - there wasn't the recent walk in the park, when Nightmare Moon startled from fear because of the statue of the ghost of chaos. For Celestia, this has brought a keen interest to the event and allowed to find out that prison of Discord became obsolete. A few hours have passed during a difficult, exhaustive ritual, and Celestia has got a headache, her horn is moaning, but since now Equestria can rest calmly: the ghost of chaos is locked away for one hundred fifty - two hundred years minimally. But Mare in the Moon's words during their unforgettable walk about terror that crawled into her heart because of some “memories from the Moon” are still an enigma. At the start Celestia thought, that tricky draconequus found a way to communicate with Nightmare on the Moon and this memories are tied with it, but a thorough check of the prison has shown that it's not the case. Luna couldn't say a word about that. It seems that it had happened after... their conflict with her sister. The Princess of the Day sighed and turned away from the statue, slowly moving into the castle. Poor Luna still hasn't recover herself after realizing her fatal mistake. It was so bright in Tia's memory: the savage, unbearable terror in her eyes during their well-remembered talk in the night garden. And she realized that she had left alone not an evil ghost, but an alive, intelligent creature on the Moon. Luna was fully depressed all the time yesterday, sometimes planning to go to Nightmare and... And it would be it. Tia succeeded in stopping her. It’s not the time... No matter what had happened with Nightmare on the Moon after Luna's descent into sleep, but Mare in the Moon hated her with an all-out rage. Celestia with her long life, as she thinks, never saw such hate to someone that specific. She saw this hate in the Nightmare Moon's alight snake-like eyes when Luna is mentioned. If they face each other in a hallway - a disaster won't be stopped from unfolding. Princess moved with her wings chilly. It's good that Mare in the Moon agreed so easily to be sent to Ponyville. Maybe, if she had stayed here instead, near Celestia, it could have been a lot more rightful way... But Celestia has no desire to risk with Luna-Nightmare conflict that surely would bring heavy results afterwards. Celestia stopped for a bit before yet another stairs, giving some rest to her legs. The most difficult ritual, as it seems for her, drained all the energy and there was hellish poorness in the body of the tired Princess. Thoughts of the pure white mare smoothly went to Nightmare Moon herself. What could had happened there on the Moon, when Luna had left her alone? Princess shrank reflexively when she remembered the words of the Mare in the Moon that were said in an apathetic tone. “If it would became boring for you to muck about with me - burn me alive. Even this would be more merciful than an exile to the Moon.” “No, no matter what happens with her - she won't say it to anyone.” Celestia understood it. “Firstly - to not give herself even a fraction of that memory...” Tia distracted for a second to channel off with a brigade of builders: one wing of the castle is under reconstruction right now, specially for Luna. They greeted Celestia politely and bowed, continuing their way to exit. Another workday is coming to its end. Celestia turned back to the thoughts of her recent guest. Firm confidence of the Mare in the Moon consists of her words that someone will undoubtedly use her for something, while covering themselves with kind words, but distrust of Nightmare and her continuous awaiting of a pig hurts Princess, but after all the things that happened with her - it's hard to blame her for such thoughts... And still, stiff lack of faith in Celestia’s ability to show kindness and friendship concerns and frustrates the Princess of the Sun. What did she say today? To treat a little, give a hundred bits and kick off like a ball - could it be right? Tia sighed. How depressed she is if she thinks so? But moreover, Nightmare Moon was shocked by any kind of attention! Medical examinations and treatment, short rundowns about some questions, heck, even visits of the Princess of the Sun herself! No, she was always quiet, but her gaze was all about that. Of course, Celestia has never spared that much of quantity of time and attention to someone, but giving things to deputies and a week-long vacation in honor of Luna returning home allow it, and the desire to keep the returning of Mare in the Moon obligates to contact with her only personally, without an extra pair of eyes. For some reason Tia remembered how embarrassed Nightmare Moon was when she asked for a new pillow. Tia giggled quietly. Generally, Nightmare looks very different from the character that Celestia drew in her head when she had only a try of talking with her. Yeah, they had to go through a talk only twice - both times in combat - but now, sometimes, there was a deep feeling that Nightmare was replaced by someone else. Well, she was pretty distinguish even in those combats. Self-assured and arrogant during the first, a thousand years ago, surely mad and inadequate during the second, during the Summer Sun Celebration, and wound up and distrustful now, after the Elements split her and Luna as separate ponies. Mad and inadequate... Celestia froze amid a step. Maybe that's the answer? What could go wrong with a pony over a six hundred years on the Moon? She lost herself there - and that's the thing Nightmare Moon fears even in her memory, and panicky afraid of happening again. Maybe, the pressure of the Elements didn't only give her and Luna different bodies, but also returned the Nightmare Moon's memory... With all the events that had happened on the Moon. And even then it seems that not all memory was restored. Nightmare lost a big chunk of her magic skills, she forgot even the basics, albeit she remembers quickly - you just have to give her a push. Even more, this banishment made a change even on the reflexes of the body somehow. Yes, she mentioned that didn't fly all these years, but Celestia's eyes saw that she moves cautiously in general - thinking about this move or those, like the body isn't hers. Another unusual detail of the Mare in the Moon's behavior was her way of talking. Besides eerily distrust, Tia was somehow shocked by the absence of usual piety before her. Even her sister, Luna, was talking with her in a ceremonial manner during the party in honor of her returning, addressing to her as “Your Majesty”! Naturally: a formal banquet... It cost a few efforts to urge her to change her vocabulary. Nightmare addressed to her as “you” right from the start, sometimes using the “Princess” title without addressing as “Your Majesty”, what was acceptable, though not for everyone, or just the title without name after it, that was mind-blowing for any pony of any rank and of any estate. “Hello, Princess!” Yeah... No one could create such an addressing for a thousand years except Nightmare Moon. However, you cannot say, that Celestia didn't like it: etiquette was set into reflexes, and sometimes Celestia was so tired of this formalism... Such informal relations could bring a smile on Tia’s face just because of variety, no matter who was the other person. Dialog with Mare in the Moon, for Celestia's fortune, was on the right track, even if they don’t understand each other every time... Tia blamed herself for a cold farewell with Nightmare fleetingly . She couldn't hold it anymore. Yes, it hurts and it's unpleasant to hear her suspicions, but... There's no use crying over spilled milk. There’s a hope that time and new friends in Ponyville would heal her soul, would teach her trust and kindness. Now there’s a hope, but back in the days, in the castle of Two Sisters, she, Celestia, could make a different decision - and it's over. Yeah, it’s a hard decision - to spare this distrustful black alicorn - but a simple one could be, most probably, a fatal mistake, like every other simple decision in general. Every life is a unique world. Nightmare's one is poisoned and devastated, but alive, and that means that with time it can rise in something beautiful and wonderful. We just have to help her... When she entered and stopped after her study's doorstep, Princess realized that her legs reflexively got her into a wrong place with a light vexation. Head still aches, horn has gotten pins and needles, there was poorness all over the body, so Celestia went into her chambers, wanting to rest... But while in her thoughts, she didn't even notice that came here instead. “It's good that there’s a small bedroom for such occasions just behind the next door.” the Princess of the Day smiled tiredly. But for a start... Alicorn came to a table and called a servant by pushing a button. She came not long after. “Come in!” Princess replied to a knock in the door, making her to look sprightly with a force of will. “Did you call me, Your Majesty?” A servant bowed as she entered the room. “Please, bring me tonic tea and something sweet to it. Oh, and please, another glass of energetic cocktail.” Princess smiled exhaustedly. “Got it, Your Majesty!” The mare darted off with a fast pace, but, while by door, looked back at Celestia. “Energetic cocktail? Maybe I should call a doctor?” She asked worryingly. “No-no, thanks, I’m fine.” Tia smiled again and shook her head. The servant nodded fitfully and slipped behind the door. Wondering exhaustedly about what type of tea she will have, the Princess of the Sun looked around the cabinet apathetically. Some detail nailed the Celestia’s eye and now she looked carefully at that thing. Here it is: a very distinctive scroll on the table - a letter from Twilight Sparkle. Usually, when Spike send her letters from her student, they would appear right in front of Princess, but today she needed to fully concentrate on the ritual, so she had created a spell to refer such messages here, to the cabinet’s table. Celestia mused for a second, remembering the details. Yeah, it was in the moment of drawing the second runic circle - she called off the spell on an edge of her mind. It was... Approximately three-four hours ago, almost in the very beginning of the ritual! And now - she looked at the clock - almost twenty minutes past seven in the evening. “Ooh. I hope nothing serious...” Princess babbled, unfolding the scroll before her eyes. Only a brief look at these curved letters, jumping lines and ink-spots on the paper was enough to understand - it was something serious. Something serious a few hours ago... Presaging a bad thing ahead, Celestia swiftly swept through the inaccurate lines and threw the scroll away, started to run to a window impetuously, opening its leafs with telekinesis. With a mournful ringing, a few glasses poured out and broke apart. Princess is pressing the shatters with a rustle with her shoes, then jumped on the window sill and threw herself into the air with a mighty leap forward, heading to Ponyville: there was no time for exhaustion... Entering the cabinet with a tray in her teeth, the servant saw falling papers from the table because of the wind, and an opened window under which, a broken glass shined on the floor. Coming closer with a dread, she looked outside and saw only a far tiny vanishing silhouette in the sky, which was followed by a barely seen multicolored trail.
14. MisunderstandingI lay with my head on my front legs and my eyes closed. Pinkie's curly mane tickled the inside of my right wing as she nestled happily beneath it, snuggling against my side. The conversation stalled on its own. I was just enjoying the coziness of the pink little pony, her sympathy and compassion dispelling all the negativity, that had been weighing on my soul as a heavy kettle bell. Now that I have calmed down, I was even a little ashamed of my recent outburst. The conversation with Tia in Canterlot hadn't gone well, and then things had been going wrong here since I'd landed, so I couldn't take it... It had gone bad. And still, I've never excepted such a dig from Twilight. And from Pinkie Pie, who was cautiously fidgeting under the wing, making herself comfortable, I did not expect, that she would find me on purpose, just so I would not be sad and lonely! “Pinkie?” I called the mare quietly. “Yes?” She poked her muzzle out of the wing, ready to listen. “Listen... Why aren't you afraid of me? The whole town hides in basements from me, and you went looking for me yourself! And this after our first meeting, which was not particularly peaceful...” “You're not the bearcat, who attacked Princess and tried to ruin the party! You're different, kind - why should I?” Pinkie explained as a matter of course. I choked on the air and coughed, staring wildly at her. How?! How did she?.. I was... “D... Different?” I panted after a dozen of seconds, when was again able to speak. “Yep!” The pink mare confirmed happily. “I don't know how to explain... I just feel it, that you've changed and now don't want to harm everyone and ruin parties! And since you're now not a baddy, then you need friends! Especially if you feel bad and lonely!” I stared mindlessly at the water of the lake. There was a ringing emptiness in my head. What else did she know about me? What should I do about it? “Hey, Night! Are you alright?” She nudged my shoulder with a hoof accurately. “Hard to say.” I answered slowly, still looking at the same point. “You know so much about everyone, I wonder?” “Nope!” The interlocutor shook her head cheerfully, as it seemed to me, and tickled me with her lush mane. “This is just my Pinkie sense! Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't... It worked for you!” This Pinkie is Discord’s daughter...She can't be as real as she is in the cartoon, can she? However, it is not up to me - a winged and horny horse with capabilities of magic - to talk about logic... Let's take it as axiomatic that Pinkie is a magical seer. At least that sounds more serious than "she can, like in the cartoon"... "He-he, it tickles!” I was pulled out of my thoughts by the cheerful voice of the Element of Laughter. I found myself stroking the mare with my wing as I thought about it. Embarrassed, I yanked the limb back to me, already almost habitually folding it along my body. “I liked that!” Pinkie stated, giggling again and getting on her feet. “But I guess I really should be going back to Twilight and the others, because they're probably worried about where I've gone to. I'll tell them, that you're nice, and you'll make up!” The pink pony assured me. “And then I’ll make a super-mega-cool party!” She jumped on the spot. “Fine, Night, bye-bye! See ya soon! It was nice to meet you!” Pinkie, smiling widely, waved a farewell with her front hoof. “Same.” I smiled with an edge of lips in answer. “Goodbye, Pinkie. And thank you again.” “You're always welcome.” She replied and started to jump towards the town. Running away on some distance, she turned and waved at me again, and continued on her way. I followed the pony's retreating figure for a while, and then turned my gaze back to the lake. I have to confess, that I didn't have much faith in her success: no one likes to apologize, and making me look bad in this story was a cakewalk. And you wouldn't have to apologize, too... On the other hand, it would be impossible to pin the dogs on me unanimously - Pinkie wouldn't let that happen. And I'm pretty sure Princess won't ignore her objections if anything happens. Celestia, as it seemed to me in the course of our conversation, was not the sort of person who shoots from the hip; she'd try to figure out what was what. And the scapegoat, according to Pinkie, is the Princess' student, who for some reason didn't bother to prepare for my visit until this morning, when I was already halfway to Ponyville, and, of course, didn't have time to warn everyone. To summarize, it was an unpleasant situation for me, but, thanks to Pinkie Pie, hardly fatal. Let's hope that, at least in the basis of my conclusions, I am right... What am I supposed to do with all this? Sit here, don't provoke, keep a low profile, wait for Tia. I suspect Twilight has already sent her an email with a colorful summary of what happened, and she's not likely to let it go unnoticed. She's probably on her way, so the wait won't be long. Well, I'm going to practice my magic in the meantime, so I won't be bored. How was Nightmare shaping bricks on the Moon? ... What a luck, that the construction spells can be clarified from memory even before the Luna's betrayal - it's not very pleasant to dive in there either, but at least it's not... I didn't think the thought through, and I forced my will to throw it away. I saw what I wanted to see, nothing more was required, the question is closed. Sizzling and cursing quietly, I somehow got up from the grass - the damaged side immediately reminded me of itself, when I began to be active - and, limping, went down to the lake, to where the sandy beach began Let's try to put on a pile of bricks on the shore, shall we? I chuckled briefly and lighted the horn. ... Yeah. It will be long before I reach Nightmare Moon's level... Why did the unicorns in canon rarely use anything other than telekinesis and maybe some magic flashlights? Because the damn bricks turned out to be more complicated than the usual telekinesis by more than an order of magnitude! And even more costly by several times! There was a small model of Stonehenge made of bricks in front of me on the sand - not giant blocks of stone, but quite normal-sized - and I myself, in addition to my side, eyebrow, and cheek, was now suffering from a headache, that was vilely reverberating in my horn. I knew clearly, that I was doing something wrong - it shouldn't be this hard - but I had no experience of knowing what it was. Definitely, I should pay attention to the magic books and figure it out when I get a chance. Or, alternatively, I could dig deep into my memory to figure out exactly how to do all the parts of the spell, and in half an hour or so the bricks wouldn't be a problem. But I'd rather waste a month on books and my own learning than go into Nightmare's memory one more time. Sometimes I wish I could find a mentalist here and erase her... I turned my attention back to reality, glancing again at the result of my labor. Still, the model of Stonehenge, made of authentic gray stone bricks - or should I say, solid granite parallelepipeds shaped like bricks - was heartening: it may still be crooked and unskilled magic, but it is magic! My own! And no matter how you look at it - it's complicated enough, that not everyone will be able to repeat it! I sniffed. Yeah, keep saying, archmage. When you build yourself a tower of stone, fifty meters high, out of what's lying around, only then you can rise your nose. But for now - shut up. By the way, the idea is a good one - home made by your own hands... Or hooves should I say. Yeah... By the way, how much time has past? I glanced at the Sun and pressed my lips together in annoyance. Yeah, of course, what else would you expect in Equestria? The thermonuclear light bulb hung motionless in the sky, the same place it had been hours before when the chariot had dropped me off. And yes, it's better not to think how it works, you'll be healthier... I walked around, stretching my legs, that were swelled from standing in the same position for so long. I've been building for at least an hour, and no one has visited me yet. Strange, but how many urgent matters could Princess have? I pressed the cool metal of my shoe to my humming head. It’s done for the magic part today for sure. My gaze, mindlessly glancing around, rested again on the lake. Hey, why not? I just don't have anything more to do... It took me a few minutes to figure out how to get rid of my armor and bags, and soon I was walking leisurely towards the water, preoccupied by the unusual sensation of the sand under my hooves: only now did I fully notice, that the hard hooves were also quite sensitive. I paused at the water's edge for a few seconds and looked at my reflection. The reflection stared back at me tiredly, flaunting a bump on its left eyebrow, that was visible even in the ripples. You're lying, I don't look that bad! I slammed my hoof into the reflection, turning it into a fuzzy silhouette smeared across the diverging waves. The water was a pleasant temperature, so I didn't linger any longer and moved on, enjoying the way it cooled my injured side. Surprisingly, the bottom was sandy and flat, which, in my experience, is somewhat unusual for lakes. I was in the water up to my neck, and I stopped abruptly. Wait a minute, can I swim at all? I pressed my legs together and tried to stay afloat. Well... In principle it worked, but there were serious problems with stability - I have to work my legs all the time to not fall aside, and working with my legs was quite unpleasant. I wouldn't risk testing active swimming just yet. When I come to my senses first, then I'll try it... “A-a, f!..” Musing, I stopped paddling to keep myself afloat, lost my balance, and fell over in surprise, hitting the water. A few minutes later, after coughing and catching my breath, I thought about going back to shore, but... I didn't want to get out of the water at all. In the end, having decided, that the state of the body allows this, I preferred to stay and experiment a little more: I held my breath and dived under water. A curious discovery awaited me almost immediately: the huge pony's eyes felt perfectly well under water, though the visibility was just like that of a human - disgusting. And also the water cooled down my head nicely, which was boiling because of the magic trainings. Nice-e-e... As I reached the surface and took a breath, I dived again, trying not to disturb the sand, and crouched at the bottom, trying to see what was on it, keeping myself from surfacing by careful work with my wings. I didn't find any of the interesting pebbles, that I... used to love to collect, so I got out of the water, noticing with displeasure the sand clinging to the wet fur of my feet and the sudden weight of my wings. I reached the grass and shook myself off vigorously, scattering glistening splashes around me, and howled when my head reminded me, that shaking was not good for it, and my injured side readily agreed. I cringed at the set of "wonderful" sensations, and plopped down on the croup next to my things. Okay, what's the result? I guess I still need to learn how to swim, but I can still do a few things, and I'm pretty good at staying on the water, too. As long as I'm not distracted, yep... The most interesting part, of course, are the eyes. The ponies' huge spy holes clearly have some sort of protection against outside influence, which is logical, in principle, given their size and importance. I wonder if that's true of everyone, or is it a trait unique to alicorns? After I dried myself off, and, with difficulty, got rid of the sand on my feet, I got into my gear. After I adjusted my breastplate, putting the bags over it, and made sure it was nice and straight, I looked up and shivered from surprise: a lavender unicorn was hesitating in front of me, a few feet away. “I... Well...” She started shyly, noticing, that has my attention. What did you forget here, horny scarecrow?! Got here, fucking hell... “Get lost, ay?” I interrupted the mare gloomily. “B-but...” She bit her lip. Her attempt to object, however, was interrupted in the most unexpected way. There was a rhythmic clap, a sharp gust of wind threw dust and grass in my face, and when I opened my eyes and waited, I found Princess Celestia between me and Twilight. And she looked - quite expectedly, perhaps - not very friendly. To put it mildly. “NIGHTMARE MOON!!!” The acoustic blow from the "Canterlot voice" made my ears ring, my teeth ached, and my head hurt like hell, and it wasn't healthy already. I retreated a few steps, hissing painfully, and put a cool shoe on my forehead to wait out the pain. “I’m happy to see you again too, Princess.” Recovering a bit, I said, trying to sound cheerfully despite the state of the body: now we need to knock her out of the mood to solve the problem radically by throwing my body into the lake, and move everything into the realm of dialog. “But I beg you - a bit more quiet, please. I hope you really want to tackle all this mayhem... “Which mayhem? Explain yourself!” Celestia ordered harshly, drilling a hole in me with a heavy gaze. “By which right did you...” “Your Highness!” The Twilight's voice interrupted the angry alicorn unexpectedly. Tia looked back at the student perplexedly. I examined the unicorn with a gaze as well, narrowing eyes. Come on, tell Princess how evilly and cruelly Nightmare wanted to take over the town and at which heavy cost you managed to stop her. Off you go. You have come alone not without a reason, haven't you? There’s no one to challenge your words... “What, Twilight?” Princess cheered the hesitating mare up. She wasn't in a hurry to get me down for some reason - all her stance showed despair, eyes were filled with tears. Hm? “Princess Celestia!” Twilight said to Tia, working up the courage. “Nightmare is not the one to blame in what happened! It’s... It’s all... My fault.” The drooped unicorn ended depressingly, sobbing quietly. Wow. It was a hard one. I looked at Twilight anew, feeling the negative towards her vanishing, being replaced by respect. Not everyone is capable of admitting guilt, especially in the case of not being caught in the act, when there is a chance to hide everything - and no one will find out. And in front of whom to admit it! I felt embarrassed by my recent thoughts. “You?” Princess was astonished, and with a quick glance at me, she turned to her student. “But what happened, Twilight?” “I...” The mare sighed in a blood-curdling way. “I got so caught up in my books last night, that when Spike tried to distract me, I guess I just brushed it off - tomorrow, tomorrow! - So... and I..." the unicorn sobbed. “I’m an awful stu-udent! I let eve... Everyone down! Sorry, Princess Celestia, p... Please, forgi-i-ive me!” Not being able to stand it, Twi cried her heart out, looking absolutely unhappy, getting down onto the grass. Tia, giving her student a pitying look, settled down on the grass beside her, stroked her with her wing, and began to comfort her, saying something in her ear. I stepped back a few steps and turned away, not knowing where to put myself in such a situation. The sight of other people's tears always put me in a stupor, and simultaneously caused an unpleasant feeling, that it was all my fault. I cannot stand that paradoxical feeling of guilt mixed with helplessness. I never understood what to do in such moments... I frowned, looking around for something to do, while Princess soothed Twilight, and then I noticed a trio of ponies approaching us. Applejack and Rarity glared at me with cautious and unkind looks, obviously seeing me as the cause of their friend's tears. “Thanks for believing in me.” I chuckled in thought. Pinkie nodded affectionately, staying beside me for a moment, and then caught up with her friends, who had stopped a little away from Princess and were now looking sympathetically at the tearful unicorn. Tia's efforts, meanwhile, were paying off: Twilight's inconsolable cries were gradually replaced by sobs, and soon they were silenced as well. Celestia gently stepped down from her student and, rising to her feet, nodded greetings to the approaching Keepers of Elements, gesturing for them to come closer. The mares, bowing courteously to the ruler, approached. I came too, standing a little away from the friendly company. “Now I'd like to find out what happened here.” Alicorn put a dispassionate expression back on her face and looked around at the crowd, glancing at me for a moment. “Well... When I woke up late this morning, I was surprised to find your letter on my desk, and when I read it... Oh..." Twilight sighed sorrowfully. “I had to go galloping without a plan, trying to get anything done in time! I had hoped to at least gather my friends and inform the mayor first... But I didn't even have time to do that!” The mare finished in a droopy voice and sniffed her nose. “When the streets began to get deserted." She continued after a brief pause. "And the passersby urged us to hide, too, it was clear, that it was too late and Nightmare was here. We met her halfway to Rainbow Dash - she was standing over our friend, pressing her to the ground with her telekinesis - and we thought..." She hesitated. “That evil Nightmare has come to rob, burn, and make an eternal night." I said with a wry grin, earning a gloomy look from Princess and a sad sigh from Twilight. “Applejack asked her to let Dash go and get back.” The unicorn continued her story after gathering her courage. “Honestly, I didn't think it would help, and I was already wondering how we could stop Nightmare without the Elements, but she just stepped back, letting us get closer. Rainbow got it badly..." Twilight finished sadly and paused again to catch her breath. “What happened to her?” Princess asked, giving me a long, cold look, that didn't bode well. I answered with mine, now calm and confident: the lavender unicorn's desperate confession hardly left anything to charge me with. I've been fabricating so much about her... Fucking paranoid. “The hospital told us, Your Highness." Rarity said, filling in for her friend, who has fallen apart. "The poor mare has two cracked ribs and extensive soft tissue contusions. With an injury like that next to her wing, poor Dash won't be able to fly for over a month!” The white unicorn gave me a judgmental look with her lips pressed together. “Nightmare, I’m listening.” Celestia turned to me, nodding at the Elements. Her voice sounded like it could freeze water, but at least she was willing to listen to all points of view, which was nice. “Well...” I started, gathering thoughts and rolling the events of this day in my mind. “The chariot dropped me off on that hill about an hour after you and I parted at Canterlot...” ... “...After that came Twilight, and then, almost immediately, there was you." I finished my story. Even with the fact, that I only recounted our encounter with Dash in detail, describing everything else in extremely concise and single-spaced terms, it did take me more than half an hour to tell the story. “I guess I can understand your actions..." Celestia said thoughtfully after a long pause. “But such harshness was unnecessary, Nightmare. You could have stopped Rainbow without hurting her like that." Princess chided me. “I could have, if I had known in advance, that it was a mistake and not a deliberate attack." I objected. “Such a response was justified to an unprovoked aggression.” “Justified by what?” Princess reacted sharply. “You could have solved it differently, but you have chosen brutal force instead!” “Dash did the same.” I resembled. “And if someone attacks me, then it justifies my self-defense.” “And still, I beg you to abstain from such “justified” measures thenceforth, Nightmare Especially in cases, when you can go without it.” Her Highness looked at me piercingly, narrowing a bit her huge pink eyes. “Okay.” I nodded shortly at Princess, earning a long, watchful gaze and a slow nod from her. Damn... I’m tired a bit, hey... Can't stand such talks, especially with headache. “Twilight." Tia said to the unicorn, who has been staring at the ground the whole time I've been talking. "What happened after you... parted with Nightmare Moon?” “Well...” She raised her tearful eyes to Princess. “The first thing we did was take Dash to the hospital, and then we met in the library to write you about what happened and to decide what we should do next. To be honest, I was hoping you might be able to give me some advice soon...” “Sorry, Twilight.” Tia, smiling guilty, leaned her head a bit. “As you see, Princess don't get important information in time sometimes.” “You have nothing to be sorry, Your Highness...” The unicorn sighed with annoyance. “You count on me, and all I can do is write you a letter for every problem and wait for a reply with a solution!” She finished in a ringing voice and wiped a tear from her face with a sob. “Calm down, Twilight!” Pinkie Pie hugged her as she came closer. “Don't be so worried, everything is going to be fine!” “It is not!” She panted in answer. “Everything I was capable of without help - panic!” “Don't be so categorical, Twilight.” The mentor addressed the unicorn. “In the end, you've been able to take yourself in hoof and found out about the situation, haven't you?” “No.” The unicorn grumbled gloomily. “I was barely soothed by my friends. Then Pinkie suggested I go see Rainbow and ask her about what happened. So we did. Dash said, that when she saw Nightmare doing something to the pony - Honey Fleur, as she described - she immediately rushed to her rescue. After visiting Rainbow, we decided to question Fleur as well, so that she could tell us how she met Nightmare. From Honey's story, we learned, that she is new to Ponyville and does not yet know the town very well, so when the alarm went off, she was nervous and could not remember the way home. It was at an unfamiliar intersection that Nightmare caught her. Unfortunately, Fleur was so frightened, that she couldn't remember the encounter and could only tell, that Nightmare seemed to be trying not to hurt her. And when Dash knocked her down and told Honey to run, she chose to follow the advice. That's when I realized that it was all my fault." Twilight finished tiredly, wiping away a tear again. “If only I had read the letter in time and prepared everything!” She sighed heartbreakingly, to which she was embraced again by Pinkie. “When we returned to the library, Twilight was terribly worried, Your Highness." Rarity continued the story for her friend. “We had barely calmed her down when Pinkie suddenly said she had to leave and hurried off before we could find out what was wrong! When we were about to look for her, she found us and told us, that she had gone to comfort Nightmare Moon!” The white unicorn's voice was one of undisguised amazement. “We, of course, have already understood, that this incident is an unpleasant misunderstanding, but ..." The mare made an indefinite gesture. “But we were surprised not for a bit." Applejack, who has been silent the whole conversation, said. “We quickly went around the town, warned everypony, prepared a little, yeah ... and decided, since Pinkie asked, that everyone should go here ... But while Pinkie was gathering us, Twilight ran away here alone! We, of course, could not leave her alone and came along to support her. It's never easy to apologize, and it's never easy to be alone... Don't ya worry, sugarcube, we won't leave ya." The farmer smiled warmly at Twilight, who has already recovered somewhat and was now standing next to also smiling Pinkie Pie. “Thank you." The unicorn froze for a moment cutely. Sighing and lifting head defiantly, she made a step towards me. "I should have shown you everything from the best side, but instead I ruined it and blamed you without even knowing it... I'm sorry, I really am!” Honestly, I've never heard people apologize to each other in this kind of situation, which may be very bad, but it's a domestic situation. Sincerely, with a kind of trepidation about what they will be answered, whether they will be forgiven... "Sorry, I didn't mean to", "sorry, it was a mistake", "shit, sorry, it was my fault" - usually it's like that, without any pressure, calmly, even a little aloof. On the other hand, I've never shed blood in a fight over someone else's screw-ups before, either... “Okay. No offence taken.” I smiled with corners of my lips at the mare. I really wasn't angry with Twilight anymore: I was hurt by the accusation, of course, but I was also very impressed by her confession to Celestia, and it made my conversation with Princess a lot easier, which could have had a blurry outcome otherwise. And I just feel a bit sorry for her: I’m the only one, who knows, that Tia wouldn't do anything to her - smiling aside, damned mastermind - but the unicorn herself was clearly not so sure of her mentor's forgiveness. “Thanks.” Twilight smiled with a relief and turned to the alicorn. “Princess Celestia! I let you down... I...” Twi stopped mid-word, not being able to continue. “We all, alas, sometimes make mistakes: misjudge what is happening, neglect something important..." said Celestia, looking thoughtfully and a little sadly into the distance. “Some of these mistakes can be prevented if you know how. Unfortunately, you often get this knowledge only from your own experience, drawing conclusions from the results of your wrong decision. To be able to learn from your mistakes is an important, even if unpleasant, skill, and I hope, that you will make the right conclusions from this situation." Princess looked sternly at the student and... immediately gently hugged her. “It wasn't easy for you today, but I'm glad you were able to clear up the misunderstanding and find the strength to admit your mistake and try to fix it. And... know this, Twilight: I will never send you away or leave you alone.” “Really?” The unicorn looked unbelievingly at her mentor, stepping back a little. Princess smiled warmly and nodded in response. “Thanks! Thank you!” Twi nestled against the alicorn once again. I glanced around, and when I saw the ponies genuinely happy for their friend, I couldn't hold back a smile myself. “Well, I’m happy, that everything worked out like this.” Tia stepped back from the student after a minute. Princess stepped aside to see us all. For some reason I thought for a moment, that this simple action was a bit of a strain on her. Friends, meanwhile, lined up side by side, practically touching each other and a little away from me. “Nightmare.” I turned my gaze at Celestia. “This unpleasant incident, unfortunately, has shown you ponies in a bad light, but I hope you'll give us a second chance. I also hope that here you'll make friends, learn to trust others, and be gentler in your decisions.” Princess hinted transparently at my "excessive self-defense”. “And be sure to visit the hospital: your injuries need proper care. Get used to it, and if anything, write to me and I'll try to help.” I silently nodded at Celestia as a reply. “Twilight.” She addressed her student. “Nightmare may be in a need of your help to settle down in our modern world, so drastically changed during the centuries. I count on you, not leaving her in this uneasy situation and learning more about friendship by helping her. I will wait for your letters of friendship as usual, every Tuesday, but, of course, you can always write to me at other times, too, if you need my advice.” “All right, Princess Celestia!” Twilight nodded at her mentor with enthusiasm. “Then farewell, my little ponies...” Suddenly, Tia cringed, and in a gesture, familiar from personal experience, put her shoe to her forehead beneath her horn. Looks like she was rushing her not in the best from - this is why I thought, that her smile is so unnatural... “Princess Celestia!” “Your Highness, do you need help?” Worried mares rushed to Tia. “No-no, thank you, I’m fine.” She smiled forcedly, putting down the hoof from her forehead. “I just need a little rest.” “Every one of us is ready to accommodate you in our houses, Your Highness!” Rarity bowed elegantly. “Our food may not be as fine as at Canterlot, and our furniture may not be as rich and comfortable, but we will be happy to please you in any way we can!” “Thanks for the offer, Rarity.” Tia smiled with the edges of her lips. “But I’m afraid I cannot accept it.” “But why, Your Highness?” The unicorn drooped. “Is it because our h-houses are so squalid, and... And...” “No-no, that’s not the case at all!” Celestia interrupted the almost crying designer in a hurry. “I just don't want to attract the attention of the townsfolk now, and that's inevitable if I go with you. All I want is a good healthy, restful sleep for at least an hour, and then I'll return to Canterlot at once.” “But where are you going to sleep?” Twilight was surprised. “I'll remember my youth and sleep on a cloud." She said, smiling at some memory of her own, and nodded at the cloud, floating by on the side of the Everfree Forest. “Farewell, my little ponies. I really need a rest right now.” Hearing goodbyes back, Princess flapped her wings, flung herself into the air, and slowly, with obvious tension, flew towards that cloud, where she settled under my dazed gaze. I shook my head and turned away. The picture of a no small horse weighing, at a guess, about three hundred kilograms, walking calmly on a cloud of water vapor did not fit in my mind. Damn, it's not a cartoon! How can it be real? What a crazy world.
15. Your New WorldWhile rubbing my eyes, I didn't even remember where am I right away. An unusual room, a small bed, on which I put myself with efforts, thus having absolutely “wonderful” feelings in two swelled legs, which are so because of an unpleasant pose, and acute pain in the neck and ribs. Oh, damn... With a force of will, I got a grip over myself and stood up, mentioning the actively aching side with a quite, not bad word in the process. While waking up on the move, I looked around and finally made clear where am I: bears lair of Twilight, library “Golden oak”. Yeah, right, she persuaded me to sleep in her accommodation and not having rooms in a hotel, like I planned from the get-go. I wanted to keep some distance, but the unicorn noticed reasonably, that finding a hotel that won't close if I show up is a great challenge, and then making a deal with its owner that will go crimson on his face, paling and stuttering from the honor of welcoming such a great alicorn as me. If he doesn't escape of course... No, my new pen pals honestly spread the word to the locals, so streets will not vanish if I come closer, and they will not hide in their basements... At least, not all of them. Who did not hide - got round by a wide arc, frightened to even look at me and making their pace faster in a desire to get out as soon as possible. Progress, yeah... But it’s still insufficient to calmly have rooms in a hotel without needs to breach the door and then derive the panicking owner... But this was my last sleep in Twilight's lair in any case! I cricked with a swelled leg and swore quietly. You'll break your back before you can fit on these one and a half meter bunks! If not the exhaustion - I'd not have fallen asleep. I did a short warm up, trying to not worry the hurt side, made the bed and sat down to think about next steps. I can make myself busy with magic: yes, my head was dizzy, but it's not aching and telekinesis could be spelled without an issue. On top of that, I have to eat something and visit the hospital for the purpose of treatment of my wounds - that advice came from Tia, and she knows how to heal. And yeah... I should take a checkup - just in case. Of course, it’s not my desire... But if alicorns are exposed to sicknesses and are very very mortal - it's better to know it beforehand... Medicine is not a thing that brings pleasure, but sometimes you cannot survive without it... But how awesome would it be to hear the diagnosis in the end: “Perfectly healthy! Go away!” and not the usual: “We-e-ell, you have this and that, make sure to come after two weeks, it's time-urgent to do this and that, after that we will order you to...” I cringed at the unpleasant memories petulantly. I will hope that the new corpse will satisfy my shy expectations... But all of this lays ahead, for now I should find some food - stomach refreshed memories about its empty and hungry existence. I can wash myself for a start... I walked downstairs to the first floor indolently. These stairs are such a shame! You walk downstairs with your two legs while holding your torso steady, but now there's a fair trim on the nose because of the second pair of legs, and you have this stupid feeling that you'd turn a somersault! I hope that I would get used to it - locals walk somehow? I stopped for a second, inspecting the main room of the library and remembering where to go forward, and thanks that Twilight made a quick tour-room of her lair yesterday. My gaze caught a clock - wow, it's almost already eleven. I fell asleep around ten in the evening. However, maybe, it's not a surprise - the day was full of events, so I got tired a little... When I entered the bathroom and stopped before a sink, I froze: how to wash myself? I looked down at my hooves, looked around for a toothbrush or a bast wisp - it didn't make itself clearer. God damn it, how to wash your face's muzzle when you have no arms and you cannot fill your palms with water?! Telekinesis on water - and, as I suppose, on every liquid - works very poorly, it's a fact. Staying with a stupid face for a minute, I decided to just turn the water on and try something, maybe it would work out. In the end, I adapted to swash water in my face with my own leg, and, with pain and misery, I washed myself. By the way, a problem: omnipresence legs! The usual and common local phrases - if I judge by the experience of talking to Twilight and the others yesterday - are like: “Support my head with a leg”, “Put a leg to the forehead” and others like that call to me a few different associations, and even detailing like “fore leg” help weakly... On the other hand - how to call it differently? I raised a fore limb before me, examining it from all sides. Clearly not an arm. Frankly speaking, not a paw as well - paws have fingers or at least claws. It’s a leg! But fucking hell, this “leg” breaks my brain so hard! While shutting my own eyes with annoyance, I spit at this question with my decision of will and left the bathroom. Maybe I’d adopt to this as well. Maybe. Well, let's go for food? I went downstairs, grabbed bags, looked at the armor for a second - no, thanks: why do I need it in a store? - and went back, swearing at myself on the move for improvidence - I should have taken the bags at the start and not running back and forth. In the bags, as I pointed out yesterday, were only money: maybe Tia decided that I'd buy something that I need myself. It makes sense, you know.... And it was not a small quantity of those, at least in terms of numbers: six hundred of golden - or merely goldish? ...Roundels, prepackaged fifty-fifty in two sacks. Coins, by the way, were very strange: just a cylinder with wide jutting edge and that's all! No nominal, no profile of a monarch, no coat of arms, no the year of mint - nothing: identical empty head and verso! That’s bullshit - not money! With a small access to the materials - it's a big gift for false-coiners! And it's not clear with their value either. Worth of these money, if I'd believe the cartoon, comparatively not a big one - something like “one coin for a kilo of apples”. But what to pay if I need one apple, or, let us say, a cheap box of matches? Or they just have money with less value - I just didn't get it and I’m not in touch? Yeah, it seems that the idea of going to buy some food isn't a good one... I was forced out of thoughts by the opening front door, before which I basically froze. “N-nightmare? Hello...” Twilight greeted me perplexedly - she didn't expect to run into me nose to nose. Spike that came along with her, swept a quick look over me and hastened to slip through me and hide in a room: I was absolutely not liked by the pangolin yesterday. Well, it happens sometimes. I’m not a girl to be... Liked by everyone... Damn. “Greetings.” I drove away my thoughts and said hello back and made a step aside to let the unicorn into the house. “You... You was going somewhere?” She interested carefully, nodding at my bags. “I was going to buy some food. But I've understood that I do not know the purchasing ability of modern money.” I marked the situation. “I’ll explain!” Mare reported with enthusiasm and returned to her previous cautious tone instantly . “But... Why did you want to buy food?” “Because I want to eat. Surprising, isn't?” I couldn't hold myself and chuckled. Kinda strange question. What does she need? “You didn't understand me in the right way! Just... Well... Do you really think that I wouldn't share food with you? Spike will cook the breakfast now... A late breakfast.” Twilight smiled shyly. “And all of us will have lunch! And after that I can show you the town!” “Town? Not a bad idea.” I answered at the last phrase, thinking that it's best to keep silence about food question. I prefer the principle: “It’s better when people owe you than you owe them”, especially in relationships with people when you already owe them. I already have a huge debt before Tia for her help, and now “collecting credit” from someone else. From the other side, I’m not in the right spot to choose: I have nothing of my own. Even body and name are a loan. I clenched the teeth angrily and rolled my jaw muscles. Sometimes, grief about relatives, about my old life, is taking its place from all the piles of fresh memories. There was my home, and here?... “Ehm, Nightmare?” The library owner's uncertain voice forced me out of my unhappy thoughts. “Did something happen?” “Nothing to speak of.” I recalled gloomy. “I’ll be upstairs.” I moved to the stairs and didn't even wait for an answer. Untimely short thought scattered wound that still did not heal itself, collapsing already dark mood from the morning below the line. I wanted to be alone. I swept a funereal glance over my cot upstairs, dropped bags onto it and laid next to them, right onto smooth floorboards. It was firm a bit, but acceptable. Thoughts about the past sprang up again. I snorted annoyingly, trying to get rid of them: does it even matter? I have to live here now, not there... To distract myself, I took the saddle bags, retrieve a sack with coins and poured them onto the floor before myself. I had one idea yesterday... I, gradually, one by one, started to take the coins before me up. One froze before my eyes, then another one, then the third one... The muscles of the neck have strained, as if trying to compensate the weight of what was lifted, but with a very big stockpile; energy in the horn started to hum, being felt almost physically. And with every next coin this feeling... This hum was something like more nervous, and every next golden roundel felt almost as twice as heavy as the previous one with my neck. On the fifty third coin, when my horn started to get pins and needles at its bottom, I had to put my head onto my legs - on my fore legs! Because honestly - it was hard to hold it steady, and I ended my experiment and dropped a pile of money onto the floor. I think that I could take even sixty, but through even greater force. Now I've got a new task - was it many or not? Nevertheless, even without it, I understood something: gradual increasing of the burden allowed me to firmly understand how does this burden feel on the horn and how it signals about an upcoming overwork. I lifted up one coin once again. It’s still a strange thing - telekinesis... In a few days I got used to that much that I use it reflexively, like I used my own hands back in the days. I forced the coin to slowly rotate and thoughtfully gazed at it. A few days ago I had to concentrate with all of my force, wanting to lift up a pillow from a bed. Is it reflexes of the body or... I shivered, telekinesis faded away and coin drove off me under the bed, resoundingly chattering against the floorboards. Wait, what?! What a feeling that was? I found a new one with my eyes hastily, lifted it with my telekinesis and narrowly dug into it with my gaze, trying to hear all of my feelings simultaneously. Damn, was it a trick of my mind? It wasn't. I FELT the coin with my telekinesis! Weakly, implicitly, like through thick gloves, but, even with closed eyes, I felt something like a round, chill item with my magic! I threw off the coin and grabbed a shoe. A more difficult form felt badly, but I could feel it nonetheless! Wow... How is it even possible?! I clearly remember, that a few days ago, when I just started to familiarize myself with telekinesis, I felt nothing! Or I just didn't pay attention? No, It’s easy to detect... I’ll not ask how does it work anyhow. At least for now. There are lots of things that can break your brain with ease, they’re on every step. Yesterday, when we were walking to this library, I tried to find out how such beefy Celestia can walk across clouds. Answer, if the main idea is saved, can be delivered in one word: “Magic”. Maybe she just hesitated and lost her confidence, clearly seeing me as a danger, so she tried to answer abruptly, stiffly, not going into details, maybe that part had played its role... I don't know. “Nightmare!” Mentioned unicorn calls me. I slightly shivered from this surprise, while going back into the real world. I didn't drop the shoe, managed to save concentration. I’m improving over myself. I returned the element of the armor back, next to the three alike, and swiftly scrabbled coins in a pile on the bed: another interesting moment - telekinesis, as it seems, can work in different modes for groups of objects. It was a lot easier to hold something like a united “pile of coins” than a lot of coins on a standalone basis. I couldn't hold myself from another short experiment: I tried to divide the pile on two approximately equal parts. This activity was an easy one, but to hold two smaller parts is a different talk. I sacked money in the bag - I’ll sort them out afterwards - and stood up from the floor, moving to stairs. “Nightm!... Oops!” I ran into Twilight a second time this day, nose to nose. She, as it seems, didn't wait for my reaction at her call and decided to go after me herself. I looked at the frozen mare before me on the upper stairs questioningly. When she met my gaze with my glowing eyes, she hastened to look away for some reason. I saw it more than once and still can't understand it - why. Spike, for example, has the same narrow extended pupils, and about my iris that is shining... And what? Although, on the other side, there’s something in my new body's gaze, something uncomfortable. Even I was trying to not look at myself in the mirror, if I remember correctly... “Breakfast is on the table.” Pony informed me. “Let’s go?” “Lead the way.” I nodded and gave way for Twilight to turn back, and followed her. Unicorn started her way downstairs, weaving with her tail left-right reflexively. I lost my pace and almost began to slide down the stairs - it's good that I was able to freeze myself in time - when I looked under mare's tail unintentionally. There was NOTHING - only smooth lavender fur, like everywhere on her body. I shook my head, dealt with my one second stupor and followed Twilight again. I could have been really freaked out while thinking: do ponies breed themselves with division, if not the yesterday’s shower. I've understood it by my own experience, that they do not, God damn it... And here it is again, this damn magic of course. I have to read something about it - I just cannot ask it head-on, really... The first floor met me and Twilight with an inexpressive smell of some porridge and hardly sensible aroma of fresh fruits. There is no special joy in these smells, but my mood has raised - finally, food! On a relatively small, but cozy kitchen, Spike was going to end table appointments. Small dragon looked so busily and seriously, that I couldn't hold myself and smiled. “It’s ready, Twilight! Come to table.” He smiled to the mare and looked at me sheepishly, went aside, while removing an apron from his body. I followed the mare’s example: nipped onto a low, but wide stool and started to look at the today's menu. Entrée is kind of a substation that made of glue: either semolina, or oaten, or way too cooked rice porridge - I’m not a master in these semi fluid things, I have concerns about every God damn thing about it. No, Spike, we will not be friends. You could just make a simple buckwheat cereal, couldn't you? Damn, this is why I wanted to go to the market, to buy things that I like... But in another person's monastery you have to eat what others give you. Second course is a simple salad made of vegetables, sandwiches with some flowers on the desert. The last ones lifted a question - will they be able to be liked to a pony's body, but with a kit of non-grass eating teeth? I should check it out. But for the starters - a dish of hot slimy mush that tastes like old cellulose... ... Hm, not bad, eatable - this is my verdict in my thoughts, when I ate the whole dish. Not a masterpiece, but I hadn't have to shove the porridge into myself with words like “For mum, for dad, for God knows who”, as I thought earlier. The salad, most of which was made up of fresh cucumbers, was also quite pleasant, although it did not cause such a storm of flavor as the one I tasted in the castle yesterday - I must be getting used to it, I guess... Sandwiches had a dual impression: flowers had a good flavor, and, at the start, I liked everything, but aftertaste with its bitterness ruined the whole impression a bit. Moreover, I still don't understand the reason of sandwiches with flowers being a thing: what’s the use of bread here? I know that damn sausage without bread is not everyone's cup of tea, needless to say about the butter, but why would someone stick the flavor of flowers with heavy bread? No, I liked the flowers alone, definitely, I liked them more. Generally - good, even tasty sometimes. The only moth that tainted the food was the need of eating only with one side of my jaws, trying to not touch the wounded cheek. Luckily, it's not aching that hard as it was yesterday, and other wounds now cause only discomfort - not straightforward pain sensations. I had a swift thought that I’m hurrying the events with a hospital - it seems that everything will heal up by itself. Meanwhile, the breakfast went in a gloomy and repressed atmosphere. Even when we reached the tea - by the way, it's not black or green, it's local herbal tea, but not bad for my taste - there still was unpleasant silent, that sometimes was cut off by an accompaniment of meal's sounds, like swallowing and and knocks of the spoons, and by a single Spike's request to hand over sugar. The dragon tried to mix incompatible - he tried to keep an eye on me while trying to not meet my gaze at one time, the Princess’ student, as I thought, wanted to ask something, but didn't have the courage to start talking. “Thanks! I’ll go upstairs.” Dealing with tea faster than others, I rose from the table and didn't wait for the traditional: “To good health!” I left the kitchen and went to the stairs. It was my imagination or I heard sighs of relief? I prepackaged the gold in sacks and put on my breastplate and shoes and swept a thoughtful gaze at the helmet, but after quick thinking, I decided to leave it here: they would not beat me up this time, wouldn't they, hey? Ending my appearance with bags, I descended onto the first floor again. “Twilight, I’m ready!” I said it for everyone to hear, examining shelves with books. “I’m on it! A few minutes!” She recalled. I nodded to myself and backed to books. Quite a huge collection here, especially for a humble library of a small town. And everything is in good condition - no torn or, at least, severely shabby frontispiece, and inside, as I think, no torn pages or lewd pictures on margins. I was going to grab one and review it, but it's too late. “I’m ready! Let’s go?” The unicorn came to me with some bags attached to her hips as well and packing a marching ink-pot and a pile of note quills into them. “Let's go.” I answered and stepped aside to give her way forward and went in the street right afterwards. It met us with cloudy weather, pleasant wind and a light-blue earthpony, purposefully trotting towards the library. When she saw me, she stopped dead in her tracks and after a second-long pause just turned away dumbly and ran back - only a crimson tail flashed and disappeared around the cornet. Twilight sighed sadly, I moved with my wing uncertainly: maybe this runner just forgot to turn off her iron, who knows? “Where are we going to?” I asked the unicorn. “We-ell... Maybe «Sugarcube corner»?” She said it with some doubt. “It's not that far, and I think that Pinkie would be happy to see you...” “Why not?” I tried to shrug with shoulders as an answer. “Let’s go, I’m not against to see her too.” Some time that we spent walking, both of us were quiet. I've been looking at bright and cozy houses around us, a few funny and multicolored strangers that tried to dig their head into their shoulders and hastened their pace, and sometimes they looked at Twilight with perplexity or sympathy. The mare herself, by the way, started to worry me: yesterday, in Celestia's presence, she was confident, even though had done a serious offence and had to apologize, but today - she remembers me Fluttershy. Yeah, I should buy something for Fluttershy as an appreciation... The mare yet again turned her head to me, tensely bit her lips and after a few seconds she turned away again, not having enough courage so start a talk. “Twilight, you need something?” I asked directly when I caught another gaze. “N-nothing!” She shivered and tried to turn away quickly. “Well, nothing important, I mean... Actually, I just curious, but..” She started to panic. Yeah, if she had nails - she could have chew them up ‘till the elbow. I chuckled. “Ask, come on.” I relented while looking at her hustle for a few seconds. “I can?” It seems that she doesn't believe it. “Not about the Moon.” I answered when a conclusion has come just in time about the things she can ask about. “A... But...” She drooped, but has already taken the paper out of her bags, ink-pot and quill, while holding it with telekinesis simultaneously. “I don't want to remember it.” I grumbled, foretelling her question. “Everything was gross.” “I get it...” Twilight prolonged quietly, putting her writing implements away reluctantly. “By the way, you wanted to tell me about the money, didn't you?” I remembered it to the mare after a few minutes just to get rid of unpleasant silence. “Yeah, of course!” She cheered up immediately and smiled. Yeah, that's a horse of a different color... “The modern golden bit entered into circulation...” ... The lecture was quite interesting, but sometimes I had to back-pedal Twilight every time she was blown away by herself when she tried to tell me about either history, personalties or magic. Firstly, money here were under a spell, and it also serves as a perfect protection against false-coiners. So perfect, that Twi didn't even understand whom I was talking about - it was so long ago when one tried to really do it. In reality, spell was a very simple one - not by the execution of course: mud cannot glue to coins. Stands to a reason, considering that taking these into mouth, when buying something, is a usual business for pony. Secondly, to my big surprise, golden bit - or bits, as some call it - is the smallest instrument of payment. And yeah, for one coin you can buy something like half of a kilo of apples. And the answer on the question “What if I want to buy one apple” killed me dead: “Buy a few, take one for yourself and give others to your friends or strangers. Everyone will be happy with that gift, no one would decline it, really!” I just stood for half of a minute and stared at the mare, trying to think it out: is she joking or not. When she spotted my far-eyes, she explained that there’s a difference in big cities, where random ponies can't get a gift just out of the blue - only for friends and pen-friends. Honestly, it didn't make a big change for me after such an explanation... We came to the residence of the Cake's family and Pinkie Pie, while discussing details, like prices for immovables and wages of different professions. Against my expectations, the tea-room was empty: no visitors, only Pinkie stood behind her desk and reclined her head upon her legs gloomily - forelegs! - and looked at a wall darkly. It seemed to me that her mane lost its former shape when compared to yesterday. Something's wrong. “Hi, Pinkie.” I greeted her. She exhaled heavily when noticed me, and it seems that she became even more depressed. When I came closer, I remarked her suspicious red eyes. Yea-ah... If someone has offended her - his skin would be inside out! “Hello, Night. And hello to you, Twilight.” She tried to pretend the earthponies’ high spirit, but it seems that she understands that it's useless and just looked at me sadly. “Sorry-sorry-sorry, Nightmare! I haven't achieved anything!” She sobbed with her nose. “What’s happened?” I stopped in my tracks. “Why you're sorry and why you must be?” “Well, you’ve arrived in Ponyville just yesterday, yes? And that means that you need a greeting party in honor of your arrival, where you can became acquainted with all the citizens of Ponyville, to make new friends... And you really-really need friends, Night!" Yea-ah, it seems that now I understood about the situation. “You tried to gather guests for the party, but didn't succeed.” I stated. “Yes...” She jaded. “I tried, baited, blandished, but it's a lost cause. When they hear about what we’re going to celebrate, ponies immediately decline my indentations - someone fabricated nonsense about their “superurgent-superpressing affairs”, but someone just said into my face straightly - they want to be out of your reach and will not even make a step outside!” The pink mare’s voice was clinking because of outrage. “And, in the end, I... Generally... Nothing worked out, Nightmare! Sorry! Listen all these made-up pretexts to not go and stupid bedtime stories about you was... I just couldn't take it.” She almost dropped dead at the end of her story and sniveled with her nose. “Ponies shouldn't do so...” Twilight mumbled quietly and started to gaze at the floor. Her tribesmen's behavior was really offending to her. I bypassed the desk and hugged the sad earthpony with my wing. It was her turn to cheer me up yesterday, and today is mine... In the end, this was the very me who said that in need one sees who his friend is, wasn't it? “Don't be sad, Pinkie.” I smiled at the surprised a bit pink pony with my lips only. “It’s not worth it. For the starters - I don't like huge crowds, and another thing is that it's better for me when they honestly refuse to go than being surrounded by false smiles and insincere declarations of friendship.” The door bell unexpectedly clinked, and a pegasus tried to enter the store. Tried - because when he had made his way ‘till the middle of the room, he saw me behind the desk and froze, hesitating to do a step. “Ops...” The stallion said with a strained voice. “Come in, feel free. We’re always happy to see new faces.” I cheered him, but the stallion jumped and started to swiftly-swiftly spin his head, made a step back fitfully and closed the door, whose bell made another “clink!” Twilight followed the pegasus with her eyes and sighed. Pinkie did the same. “And why should we gather such ones?” I said to the pink pony, waving with a wing towards the door. “To see how they try to hide in every corner from me? If it's so principal to you to make a party for me - invite those who know me already and who is not afraid of me. In the end, is it a bad to party with a small group?” “In itself - maybe not.” Pinkie said thoughtfully. “But it's a welcoming party! It's a way to acquaint and find new friends! And it's a good thing to have as many friends as possible! And if a few pony would come - then a few friends you'd have - this is bad!” The party pony just crushed my points. Still, I gained some ground: her mane increased its volume, ears are straightly up, and the sadness on her face was changed to kind of thrill. “No, Night, there should be everypony at this welcoming party! I’ll try again and everything will be fine!” Damn... Stubborn as a... “Take it easy, Pinkie. You’ll do it when the time comes. And I can find friends without a party.” “You can. But it's better with a party!” Pink-haired knocked a hoof against the desk determinedly. “However, you may be right in one thing: there’s no way to gather everypony in a fast pace. But I’ll try again, I promise!” Oh, Pinkie... It’s good that she recovered - it was painful to see. I ultimately patted the pink back of the thoughtful about something pony and stepped aside, taking place before the desk near Twilight. “Fine.” The earthpony surfaced from her thoughts and smiled. “It seems that you wanted to buy something?” “No, we just wanted to visit you.” I smiled in answer. “Twilight's showing me the town.” “Got it! Wait a second...” The mare nodded with her pink mane and hid for a few seconds under the desk. “Nightmare, Twilight, here, take it. To refresh yourselves and to make yourselves feel better.” She put a box of cakes at the market stall, emerging back. “At my expense!” It's almost common. Almost. “Thanks, Pinkie.” Twi smiled, packing the box with presents in her right bag. “Thanks.” I hesitated for a moment, but joined to the appreciation. “But I think that it's time to go - you can be left without customers today.” I chuckled. “Ah, nothing.” She waved away. “I was happy to see you!” After saying goodbyes to Pinkie Pie, we left “Sugarcube corner” and moved to the center of the town, where we planned to head for the “Carousel” boutique, to Rarity. “I’m sorry about the party, Nightmare.” Twilight condoled when we went in streets. “Pony shouldn't repulse others in such a way! It’s wrong It's better for them to not fear you, to learn about you, but they don't even want to try, to give you a chance!” The unicorn sighed. “Aren't you afraid yourself? Could you give me a chance if not the Celestia’s word, m?” I eyed my companion from head to foot. Twilight remained silent eloquently, dropping her ears down.
16. The Red CrossI slightly outpaced my bethinking companion, stepping first on a crossroad with high green hedge around it, and in the same second, a punch struck my ill-fated right side, nailing me to the ground. “F-fu-uck!” I hissed martyrly, curling up painfully and trying to put every limb on the wounded place at once reflexively. I've had a moment of deja vu: twenty-four hours ago I had met harmony and friendship in Ponyville in the same way, the only difference is that the road is not paved, so I saved my brow, and even didn't bite the cheek. The strike got me very bad: not right into the side, but lower, where it passes into the belly - and this place, unfortunately, is a way more sensitive... Twi's voice can be heard nearby, it seems like she's reading somebody a lecture, but I didn't pay attention - not the first priority, you know. After a few seconds, when the pain faded away a little bit, I started to scrape myself off the road. I wasn't able to stand up at the first try and wasn't able to do it myself - it was very unpleasantly to even move with the right legs, especially with the hind one, and attempts to lean on them added a new way of suffering to my already fucked life. A pink field of telekinesis, that enveloped me, was greeted by me with a thankful nod. Twilight, which helped me to stand up, nodded in answer and turned around to the, seemingly, reason of my bad general condition. “Oh...” I sighed painfully, trying to take the weight on the right legs. Damn it. It seems that I'd not escape the hospital for sure, and I think it'd be now. Two punches almost in one place in one day! Just my luck... “Twilight.” I spoke hoarsely. “When Celestia gives me an invitation to leave Canterlot - remind me to decline it. If I leave her castle, everyone tries to kill me everyday!” Tilting to a side and crippling with every leg, I came up to my companion and froze, drilling a hole in a pony that just was on the verge of killing me. E-ehm... I... I was expecting to see someone else. Don't know whom, but not her for sure! Before Twi, just on the road, a well-known to me by the cartoon orange pegasus with dark-pink mane was examining the ground beneath her legs. A removed helmet was laying nearby, a scooter with broken handle and without one wheel. This is why I got nailed out of the blue... And by the springboard-looking bulge further on the road, it may be not an idiom. “Oops...” Filly reduced herself to atoms, when she heard my words and lifter her gaze. “M-miss Twilight...So yo... Your friend is... Is the Mare in the Moon?!” She said with fear, twitching like a leaf. It seems that this driver successfully had not seen who she's flying at... Surprise. “Correct.” I assured, eying the pegasus from head to foot gloomily. She noticeably paled, and hesitated to stand up, but instead of running away, as I firstly thought, she uncertainly came up closer and bowed clumsily. “Forgive me, the Mare in the Moon, please, forgive me! I... I didn't try to... You know... Kill you! It was an accident, it really was! I...I’ll bring the biggest of candies during Nightmare Night! Just... Just don't send me to the Moon, please!” A pair of purple eyes gazed to me with hope, shining from tears. And how to be angry at her, how? “Nightmare Night doesn't stop since my arrival. Even during day.” I pretended that I didn't understand them. “She meant a holiday during October, Nightmare. Nightmare Night is its name.” Twilight explained. “I wish I knew how to celebrate it know when you're here.” She ended half-whisper. “So you’ll forgive me?” The pegasus paid attention at herself shyly. “Please! I... I’ll gather two buckets of candies! It wasn't on purpose, I’m not lying!” “Gather it first - then I’ll say my verdict.” I muttered tiredly. What to do with her, what? It would have been a lot easier if she had tried to talk her way out... “But for now - you can go. And yeah - if you do that again - you wouldn't buy off yourself.” “I got it! Thank you, Mare in the Moon!” The pegasus bowed awkwardly once again. “Goodbye. Goodbye, miss Twilight.” Leaving the hapless driver to restore the “race car”, I somehow moved towards the local hospital with the lavender unicorn. “Nightmare...” Twilight called me after some time, thinking about something before. “No one tries to kill you! And I’m convinced that no one will!” “What are you talking about?” I didn't’ get it, too busy with moving legs to minimize hellish pain in the side. “Well... You said that after your leave from Canterlot, everyone tries to kill you... But it's false! Ponies do not do that! Do not this anymore.” Twi corrected. “I’ve read a lot of historic books and I know, that during the antiquity... Well....” She hesitated. “We had been practicing killing.” I hinted to her. Unicorn nodded shortly, swallowing fitfully. “Y-yes. I understand that for you it may be... M-m... I mean, for the time you had been in Equestria, it was...” Mare couldn't find words again. Why is she so nervous? “Normal.” I hinted again. Magician lost her pace and twitched nervously, casting an eye on me with a mix of pity and dread. “Celestia forbid that it was... “Normal’!” Twilight twitched again. “Usual... A bad one as well...” She sighed. “Well, I hope you got it. So... Maybe it was a usual thing back then, but now ponies don't do that! It’s awful! This is the worst crime of all!” “Yeah? What a shame, what a shame... Because... Oh my... I have the right mood to rip someone's head off!” I bared my teeth crookedly. “Nightmare, no! Do not kill someone, please, I beg you! Don't...” Laying ears back, Twilight looked at me with badly hidden dread, trying to step back in the same time. “It was a joke.” “A-a...” Mare froze for a few seconds, gazing hard into the space with a fixed glare. “What?! A j-joke?! I mean... No, Nightmare, killing is not a joke!” Exclaimed the scowled unicorn harshly when she was back in the real world. “No one messes around with such things! I almost... O-oh...” Twilight sighed with relief. Yea-ah... She's gone crazy. I have a feeling that she didn't even think that I’m just kidding. It seems that the locals don't respect the topic of death and killings. Interesting thing - how would she react on a such usual thing for a student as “My mom will kill me”? Would she take it literally as well? I think I won't check it... Be careful about your jokes here - just in case... “Yeah, you're boring ones... Okay, good to know. I’ll try to not joke like this anymore.” “Thanks.” The lavender pony nodded slightly forcibly. The conversation died out at this point: Twilight was minding her own business again, I hadn't the mood to talk at all. It looked like my feelings were brightly depicted on my face - I think I even got a few pitiful gazes from strangers... From the strangers who had the courage to even look at me. The way to the Ponyville's stronghold of medicine took, by my feelings, five-ish hours: when we came closer to the building of the hospital, I was ferociously exhausted and tired: constant pain, playing on my nerves like on strings, was making me mad. Wounded side hurts, right legs hurt because of the wounded side, left ones - because of the need to always keep all my weight on them, brow hurts along in the ride. I, constantly swearing under my breath, was getting more nervous with every step. However, it became only worse when we’ve reached the hospital: stairs were leading to its high porch. The first stair steps made it clear, that walking on a flat surface, as it turned out, is very comfortable and does not hurt at all. Twilight helped me out, using her telekinesis once again. Unicorn didn't have the strength to lift me up, but even a lesser weight helped me to somehow make it. Stopping at the porch to restore breath, I saw a mare through windows of the hall-door, making her way to the exit. She, in her turn, saw me, shivered and rethought her desire to leave abruptly, making a way back into the interior of the hospital after an internal nontransparent door. Yeah, thanks for the reminder, skittish. “Twilight, can you make sure that the staff won't run away from me?” I addressed to the unicorn, which was gazing this situation with a sad stare. “I, of course, like their amusing escapes sometimes, but for now - let’s say I’m not in the mood to chase them.” “You like it?!” She has been either in awe or in dread. “It doesn't matter now anyways...” She stopped herself on time. “I can try to warn them only. I hope it'd help... Wait for me here, okay?” Waiting for my nod, the magician entered the building. I followed her with a gaze until she disappeared behind the internal door. In the following minutes I exhausted myself even harder, trying to find such a pose, in which I could rest with relative comfort, but didn't succeed. Every move, triggering pain, annoyed me even harder, but I couldn't just lay down on the ground - I'd not get myself up after this. When Twilight finally returned, I was trying my best to not cry out loudly. “Nightmare, how are you?” She looked at me pitifully. “Let's go.” I cringed wordlessly and nodded in answer forcedly and followed her. The hall of the hospital met me with bright pastel colors of the interior, a typical desk of registry and with an anxious silence, flying in the air, as soon as I entered. Medponies shrank into themselves behind the desk as if they were trying to be smaller; patients, waiting for their turn, turned pale and shaded, vaporizing somewhere deep in the hospital as soon as I turn my gaze to them. The only ones, which reacted more or less calmly, were a small herd of doctors in lab coats, and it seems that they've been waiting for me. Even still, their first reaction was really nervous: someone stepped back, someone swallowed loudly, someone's whispered something under his breath. Only a middle-aged mare stood out - someone like “woman in her 40s” - which reacted only with a hardly-seen interest. A serious lady, respect. A pause hung. Honestly, I haven't been expecting a whole medical board, preparing myself for this standard complications, like all these agreements about personal records, waiting for the queue and other usual things, and now I’m standing in some kind of confusion. The doctors were hesitating as well, not having desire to speak to me. Fat beige stallion mops his forehead every minute with a sleeve - yes, a sleeve! - of a lab coat; in the eyes of the mare near him, which has the palest and saddest look, I managed to read something like: “Please, go away! Please!” Before she turned her gaze away. Other medics looked the same, only the mentioned mare - unicorn with a bright-gray fur and crimson mane with streak of gray - looked like an isle of calmness, examining me with a distant-professional gaze without any wariness, let alone fear At the end of the day, she was the first one to pick words. “Colleagues, please, calm down. Get a hold of yourselves.” She addressed to the others. Strangely enough, her words succeeded in the task. “Good day, deary.” She turned to me. “What seems to be your problem?” Deary?! Me?! However, tastes differ: she likes me - I’m fine with it. And it's not top priority right now. Let me be a “deary” - just heal me. “I've been beaten. Twice in one day.” Chuckling wryly, I marked my prehistory. “A bump on the left brow, a cheek is bitten until it bleeds and two good blows into the right side. Severe pain, causes troubles with walking, shoots in the right legs and wing." “In the side? Does it disturb breathing? Is there a prickling when you inhale? Gurney, fast!” The fat one changed himself immediately after my story, crushing all the shyness and nervousness in a second. “I’m a traumatologist.” She answered on my unspoken question. “Broken Arm at your service.” I hummed. An interesting name. “No, I can breathe without problems. And the gurney is not needed - I’ll go myself.” “It’s better for you to get a pleasant pose lying and rest.” Doc insisted. “So let's wait for the gurney and we’ll find out your problems.” “Fine, as you say.” I sighed. He knows best, I guess... ... I woke up as if by a click - immediately, with a rush. Yeah, this is what I've been told when they put me into sleep with a spell in a ward. I was turning around on the bed for a bit, laying more comfortable. The side is still chill after inunction of some cream, also creating a light feeling of numbing. It worked, by the way - it almost doesn't hurt. So they offered me to sleep a few hours, until this thing starts working. Generally, the attendance of the traumatology wasn't well remembered by me: all this created mess around me stuck in the mind like separate parts. The gear and bags were given off to Twilight; when she heard that this is not a question for thirty minutes, she left and went home. After that, there was a wide, almost quadratic gurney for laying on side and the traumatology itself, where I was poked with crystals, doctors were shining with their horns and scowled busily. They worked at my forehead and rubbed in some thick creme, and after that I went into the ward to sleep a few hours. Generally, nothing serious happened to me - I've got only some bruises. Strangely enough, all thanks are going to Tia - her healing spell, which she casted on me day before yesterday, was still working, healing my yesterday's wounds and, therefore, making the consequences of today's RTA less severe. Arm didn't exclude the possibility of me, laying for a long time in this ward in other case... Damn it, I wish I knew how to pay off all the things she's done for me... Although Arm didn't help me with the cheek, sending me to the dentist with this problem. But only after my calm sleep - to not disturb medicine's process! I chuckled. When the doctors got into their known nature of healing their neighbor, they - not all, but for the most part - forced themselves to forget who the Mare in the Moon is and started to work. But they still kept some distance: they talked politely and debonairly, even with some dread, always warning me before casting a spell, that it’s not an attack, they wouldn't hurt me and describing all the approximate feelings I can get after. Also, they recommended me to be medically examined here, to check presence of any other problems and create a normal patient chart... I didn't decline it - I've been thinking about it since morning. It won't go amiss, and they promised me that it wouldn’t be long: even if we count this sleep, I should be able to do everything until the evening; at least they said so... “YO-OU!!!” This furious call got me back into the real world. Yeah, this ward is for four, and when they drove me into it, one bed was occupied by someone - the neighbor was in a deep sleep, wrapping himself in a blanket with his head. I remember asking myself about his reaction on me... I turned to already known by voice neighbor, hazily understanding who, except me, can be laying in a ward of traumatology. From a next-door bed, Rainbow Dash, wrapped into a bandage across her body, looked at me angrily. What a meeting, damn it... “Me, as it strangely is. Well, you can congratulate yourself: you, even though not singlehandedly, managed to send me onto a gurney.” I chuckled awkwardly. “It is astonishing that they healed a villain.” Dash grunted. “It is.” I nodded too seriously. “You attacked me for no reason, beat me... It is really astonishing that they healed you, villain.” “You!... You!...” Pegasus started to gasp for air from the outrage. “You what? Isn't it true?” I curved my brow. “If you don't know, Celestia told me so much about friendship, about harmony... I almost had faith in it. And on the first meeting with pony outside the castle I was attacked. Bravo, you brightly demonstrated, that all these fairy-tales about friendship aren't worth a bit. Princess will be proud of you.” “I saved a pony from you!” Scowled Rainbow. “Was I slamming her? Did I even elevate my voice?” I rolled my eyes pointedly. “You grabbed her with telekinesis! I've seen it!” The rainbow-maned firmly stands for her cause. “Then you also have seen the reaction of others on me. As it turned out, such alicorn as me cannot ask the way without use of telekinesis - it's impossible without it.” I chuckled, adding a bit of pathos in the voice,. “Pf.” The pegasus grunted.” Your stupid excuses are..." “Are so convincing, that Princess Celestia didn't even say an admonish.” I ended the sentence for her. She chuckled distrustfully as an answer. “The fact that Princess granted amnesty for you, for some reason, doesn't mean that I must do the same.” She said after a small pause. “Just give me time to heal up and I’ll recall two broken ribs and no flights for a month! But start to look behind already, when walking down the street. Just in case.” Dash said to me with a curved smirk. Truly, don't dig a grave - she will do it herself! She likes to dance on a rake? It's not hard for me to repeat - just give me a reason... “We’ll see, painted.” A smile appeared along my entire face; I showed it to the stupid horse, putting down the desire to say a threat as an answer. “You're the one who's painted!” Grunting aggrievedly, Dash turned to a wall swiftly and started to pretend that she's sleeping. Good night, yeah... However, loneliness wasn't a long friend of mine: a medpony wedged in an open door - a young earth mare with white fur and pale-pink mane. “G-good day...” She greeted me shyly. “Miss... Ehm-m... Mistress... I mean...” Pony shrank her head into her shoulders. I was watching with interest, lifting a brow. “I meant... Oh, sorry, I... It's...” “If you don't know how to address to me - use my name.” I, finally, decided to help the poor mare. “Oh... Excuse me, please! I didn't want to insult you!” She blushed cutely. “It’s fine, I can understand your problems. Unfortunately, my old title “Her Majesty Queen of Nightmares, ruler of Equestria, Nightmare Moon” isn't relevant anymore, and I haven't got a new one.” I sighed pretentiously, not being able to hold a joke. “Alas, but you’ll have to use my name only.” Medpony shivered, having now paleness instead of blush, and strangely enough, I can see it on her white fur. Rainbow chuckled nervously, twitching with her wing and wrapping in a blanket more thoroughly. I bit tongue, calling myself an idiot. God damn it, I just cannot calmly look how they all seek for cover in corners from me - it’s so tantalizing to troll or laugh at someone, adding more gas into the fire! I have failed to step back... “So, what do you want?” I started to talk seriously. “A-a? Em... S-sorry... I just wanted to say that there's a visitor to you. You... Ehm... Do you want to spend a little bit of your time?” “Why not?” I tried to shrug with shoulders. “Let him in.” Medpony, nodding shortly, swiftly disappeared behind the door. Who's there? Twilight or Pinkie? Except for them, no one would... I didn't except to see this pony at all, which came in after a few seconds. Didn't except for a second time, by the way: in the open door, an orange pegasus came in, with a string bag of apples in mouth. “Very sleeping” Dash, while still turned with her back to me, raised her ears towards our side, preparing to eavesdrop with a someone else's conversation. It seems she doesn't know the idiom “Curiosity killed the pony”... “Hi.” I said with a little bit of surprise to the pegasus. She came closer to a nightstand and got on her hind legs, putting her bag onto it. “Good day, Mare in the Moon... I just... I just brought some apples, yeah. They're healthy, you’ll be healed in no time!” “You hadn't...” I mumbled, barely understanding how to react on it. “I had to! I think it would be right.” Firm filly looked at me. “Thanks...” I remembered just in time, because no one said her name to me, so, cutting word in half, I stared at her with anticipating. “Scootaloo, miss Mare in the Moon.” Orange pegasus understood my gaze correctly. Rainbow Dash, on which I spied out of the corner of my eye, twitched, like she was shocked and turned to us abruptly. What the hell is going on with her? “Nightmare Moon.” I called my name in answer, extending a hoof to the pegasus, which dabbed it with hers. “Thanks, Scootaloo.” “Little one... You just...” A strained Dash voice sounded, and she looked at Scoot with a lost stare. Now it's Scoot's turn to twitch. “Rainbow?! A...Ehm... What are you doing here?” Laying back her ears, she started to rattle nervously. “What am I doing here? I will have been living here for a minimum of two weeks!” The pegasus rose up. “After a meeting with her!” I got a disdainful nod towards me. “And you bring apples to her, to “be healed in no time”!” Dash's voice was full of grievance. Scoot shrank into herself, bitting her lip. I thought they’re not acquainted yet! But, judging by the reaction - they ARE acquainted, and Rainbow, mildly speaking, doesn't understand, why her faithful fan came with presents to me, but didn't to her! Damn, they’ll argue until death... “Sorry, Rainbow! I... I really didn't know that you're here! I've returned this morning.” The pegasus started to make excuses. “Wait, I’ll bring apples for you too! In a second...” “I don't need your damned apples!” Dash screamed with feelings. “I don't need anything!” Pegasus turned to the wall sharply, wrapping herself in a blanket with her head once again. “Rainbow, sorry, I didn't...” Scoot came closer to the rainbow-colored's bed. “Go away!” Was heard under the blanket hollowly, stopping the orange pegasus on half-word abruptly. Scootaloo slowly turned away. It was painful to look at the filly - there were tears in her eyes, ears were laid back to the head with sadness... Sweeping some lost gaze at me, she turned her stare to the floor meaninglessly. I wanted to cheer her up... The door opened, and Broken Arm broke into the ward with fast pace. “Good day, Nightmare! I've been told that you had awoken. How did you sleep? Is there any problem? Does the side hurt with severe pain?” The energetic pony threw questions at me. Scootaloo sneak into the closing door soundlessly, like she wasn't here at all. God damn you, doc! Could you entered in ten minutes?! I fucking hate this... ... My mood was lower than Mariana trench after what happened, and, for some reason, a feeling was chasing me, telling that this quarrel is my fault. I snorted evilly - why the hell is this my fault? But barely crying poor Scootaloo couldn't leave my head. And the apples she had brought were the best ones - I ate them with pleasure after the visit to the traumatologist... Arm, getting through my bad mood and straightforward answers, asked me, hastily examined and invited to his cabinet. I ended my examination there, and he said goodbye to me, giving me a medication form for a cream, ordering to come back in three-four days. I have to visit a dentist after this, and then another couple of doctors as part of my medical examination. I sighed and moved upstairs. With thoughts and following nervous patients and some doctors with a indifferent gaze, I made it to the study of local tooth puller. If there even was a queue to him, it just hid into hallways and other rooms, out of sight, so I calmly came closer to a door and knocked politely. “Come in!” A voice of a young stallion sounded behind the door. I entered the room. In the study, a pale-pink unicorn with acid-green mane was sitting - what a killing mix - and writing something. A lodgment with rests for head and medical lights was in the corner, and it was clear, that it's geared up to lay on side. It has a reason, though - the pose is relatively comfortable and allows to keep your head steady without any strain. Meanwhile, the pony ended his writing, tossed his quill into an ink-pot, lifted his green eyes’ stare, the color of his mane, at me. I immediately got it by the pupils, widening from the fear: we’re not getting along. “Mother...” She said chokingly and, stepping back abruptly, fell off a stool on the floor, raising a laughter for me. “Stay calm, mister!” I nailed him to the floor with telekinesis slightly. “I just need to...” The unicorn's horn glowed and a bright-green beam of magic tapped into me. Result of it was something like a punch to your horn: not a severe pain, mess in the head and the feeling of an impact wave inside. I just couldn't hold the concentration and pony set himself free from my telekinesis, springing to his feet and running past me to the door with a shaking head. “MARE IN THE MOON!” His panic scream was already heard in the hallway. “RUN, YOU FOOLS!” What a fucking idiot! They specially warned everyone... Yeah, but this fine fellow was absent! Ah, fine: the side does hurt just a little bit now because of the creme, so I’ll heal my shitty mood with this panicmonger. You asked for it, he-he... I walked out of the office and trot along the corridor briskly, following the screams and panic. ... Boo, damn it, we’ve got him... Instead of a funny tag game, there was a naturalistic chase with gunshots. Who knew that this young unicorn of a not serious look is a serious magician? And strangely enough - timid as hell: he didn't scare just a bit - he basically hit the panic bottom. Stopping the doctor, who lost all sense of proportion, was a task for me, a few of unoccupied doctors and uncommunicative comrades from psychiatry. When it had only begun, I thought that I’ll chase him for a little bit, catch him with telekinesis, talk to him... When this mad lad started to throw benches at me with telekinesis right on the run, I have understood, that something is going on wrongly. Fortunately, no one was hurt and support came to rescue swiftly. It’s good that they got the situation right on the move - I wasn't prepared to get my ass kicked by the doctors... Together, in fifteen minutes, the target was neutralized... Also, I ended up being in the psychiatry, so I was examined by the psychiatrist. Answered a few formal questions, then we started to discuss the recent chase - we were together there... Between ourselves, she said, that the dentist had some kind of a child trauma, and it's tied to the fact that he was scared by evil Nightmare in the childhood, and it was such a deep wound, that he still keeps this memory... And all fine and dandy, but here I come bodily... I even felt sorry for him. However, I was told that nothing seriously scary happened: all the chaos is not critical; fortunately, there's no wounded, and Shining Smile - the dentist - just needs a good sleep and recover. This is where it ended. Then it was a boring and plain walking, don't even had to have something with me - the pony doctors were papering all themselves. The only one who was really interesting - a specific doctor-unicorn, compound word of whom I failed to remember. He, as always, turned red, turned pale, stuttered and hid his gaze during the examination, but didn't try to get rid of me faster, but said something interesting. As it turned out, I have an unstable magic core now - it didn't adapt to a new richness of magic on the Equus when compared to the Moon,. This is where all the problems with any hard magic constrictions come from. Taking the notes to not load the horn at full and, if it's possible, use nothing more than telekinesis, I left the doc to take a cup of tea and to calm down and moved towards the end of this medical examination - some equalogist. Entering the last for today study, I saw the already known for me old unicorn behind a table, writing something thoughtfully with a quill in telekinesis’ field. “Wait a minute, deary, I end this and we’ll begin.” Medpony looked at me shortly, and it seems, that she completely doesn't give a heck about a black alicorn in her room. What a temperance! “And nothing like: “Mare in the Moon! Run! Save yourselves!”? I remembered the dentist with a bit of humor. “You're a mare.” Doctor chuckled, continuing to write. “And I, deary, can assure you, that I know something about mares, unlike some young dumbbells.” She marked a dot in the paper and rose from the table. “So, let’s take a look... Take a step aside to here, turn around, pull up your tail... “Turn around and pull up your tail”?! What she is going to look at... Oh, sh-hit! Something inside of me has been broken, I felt cold and discomfort. This is how I learned what does her name mean: “Gynecologist” on the local language! “Is this compulsory?” I asked nervously. “It is, deary. How we’ll make a patient chart, hm?” The unicorn curved her brow stiffly. “Come on, turn off the cover, bend down and pull up the tail. There’s nothing scary, you're not in the dentist's room.” “I wish I was.” I mumbled silently, swallowing viscous saliva with force and turning my back to the mare. “Ah... What the “cover” is?” I looked back at her, brightening up at the possibility of gaining time before the horrors. You can't postpone death by taking a deep breath... “Oh, deary.” Medpony shook her head with a sigh. “It was hard for you on the Moon, if you even don't remember so basic things... Cover - also named concealing spell - is, what some call, a world spell, one of the laws of the Universe. This is responsible for not making it possible for others, except the owner, to see... Some things. It can be turned off and on just by force of will, wishing it to not be seen or to be seen respectively. Or, as a variation, it fades away during arousal.” The mare explained with patience. “Enough of lectures. Bend down.” The mare commanded softly, but firmly. “I don't want to-o-o!!!” I cried out in my mind, swallowing fitfully again and sweeping a haunted look across the study. At the end of the day, making the decision, after a few long-lasting seconds, I doubled up my wobbly legs, satisfying other demands as well. “Here you go! And nothing hard, deary, yes?” A voice in the back said with satisfaction. “So-o, let's take a...” In the next moment I shivered from the touch, clenching teeth firmly at the same time, trying to not make any sound. Fucking shi-i-it! “Why are you so nervous, deary?” The unicorn asked somewhat perplexedly and with pity. “Your first time, I guess? It's fine, everyone is nervous during the first time. You’ll get used to it, don't worry.” Thanks, damn you, now I’m in the finest form of existing! And what if I’m nervous about the “get used to” itself - what to do?! I clenched my teeth even harder and closed my eyes tightly, prevailing over a new portion of touches, feeling the burning of my cheeks. There were only loud silent and shock in my head. “And that’s all.” The medpony said finally after a few endless minutes. “And there's nothing scary in it, is there, deary?” I somehow stood up on the wobbly legs, wishing to activate the covering magic at the same time - and, with an unbelievable relief, I understood that it works. “Everything is good.” The mare assured me with a satisfied smile. “I can't promise you, an alicorn, kids, but if you, deary, show an extraordinary effort in this - maybe you’ll be lucky!” She gave a wink at me. “Well, you can go now - I see you're in a hurry. See you next time, deary!” I nodded in answer nervously and bleated something that should have been a farewell, falling over the doorstep at the exit and almost went with my head over my heels. Heart in the chest was beating like a steam hammer, cheeks were on fire and you could use it as a lighter, wobbly legs were getting confused with each other, an absolute cacophony of feelings and thoughts was in my head, and in the soul - an unseen, until now, disorder. Oh, damn it... But... What a nasty woman: “If you show an extraordinary effort in this”! A picture stood before me, where I, accompanied by Big Mac, with distinctive moans and screams, show “an extraordinary effort”... “Fucking shit!!!” I screamed aloud, shaking head rabidly, feeling that my ears are starting to turn crimson, in addition to the cheeks. Roaring at a random pony, that looked at me with her scared eyes in shock, I ran to the stairs. I must run, and I must do it the fastest! If only I knew the road... Fine, the locals got used to me a little, don't run away en masse... I’ll ask this stallion about this... “He wouldn't refuse to help a mare, if she shows an extraordinary effort, would he?” The same picture with Big Mac appeared before my eyes. Damned horse! She said it on purpose, I fucking know it!!! “Don't like Mac - think about another stallion...” “ARG-G-H-H!!!”
17. Two Lonelinesses“Hi, Applejack! Glad to see ya!” Pinkie Pie waved with her hoof while leaning against a small fence. “Hi, sugarcube!” She chuckled mellowly while fixing her hat, but lost her enthusiasm entirely when she saw me. “Good morning, Nightmare.” Applejack said to me coldly. I nodded in answer wordlessly. “I’m giving Nightmare a trip across the town!” It was like Pinkie didn't notice any tension. “I’m free today, so I had decided to go to Nightmare because she got into the hospital, but, fortunately, she’s okay, everything is fine, the only problem is that Twilight is busy today and couldn't show everything as she wanted, but for her luck I’m free and thus I’ve decided to acquaint her with the town instead of Twilight!!!” Pinkie said that in one breath and smiled widely. I and the farmer-girl exchanged with the same lonesome gaze. Pinkie is a good talk partner when she's serious, and she, to everyone's surprise, can be serious. But sometimes she's getting too fast... “Easy, sugar cube.” Applejack showed a hoof before her in a stopping gesture. “I've not gotten - who is busy and how Twilight's in a bone-factory? What happened to her?” The orange mare looked at my companion with dismay. “You have gotten everything wrong!” The pink one giggled amusedly. “I heard that Nightmare came to hospital yesterday, but must be home already. I decided to go to her and check her. As it turned out - she's fine, but Twilight couldn't show her Ponyville due to her work. But I could! And we decided to start with your beautiful farm!” Slowly, like for infants, Pinkie paraphrased her thunder-like thought. She’s kidding. “A-a... I've heard 'bout that... I was there yesterday, about evening, to check Dashie. The doctors there do a fair amount of judgment about your black wench going after, going after... Dam’, well, after the one who messes around with one's teeth, throwing benches at him. Poor fella almost lost his marbles.” The farmer-girl swept a gaze over me with dislike. “And the way you've said that I thought that Twilight got her fair amount of bruises.” The orange pony nodded towards me. I couldn't hold myself and tittered, holding my hoof at my forehead. They've made it up - they’ve frightened themselves. “Made muck and said “This is my luck.” AJ grumbled darkly and twisted a cold gaze to me. “I just thought that the story could be more interesting if it had the aspect of me wanting to eat him. With his robe.” The mares, paling significantly, made a few steps back from me simultaneously. “Go to the psyche ward and ask how it was. If you, of course, interested in truth and not in gathering as much conjectures as you can.” “And you mean you don't want to tell it yourself?” The pony with a hat gave me a squinted look. “I don't.” I snapped. “What's the point? To hear from you something like: “Yeah-yeah, keep saying that lie, you villain”? If you want to hear the truth - you’ll do it yourself. I’m not interested in these fairy tales, if you want to be scared of me - do it. I’m fine with it until it doesn't bother me.” I moved with a wing phlegmatically. “But it's a bad thing when everyone is scared of you!” Pinkie objected with awe. “If everyone runs away from you - you’ll have only a few friends!” “But it would be real friends.” I responded. “Those, who can see my self despite my appearance and reputation. And those, who can't - it's their right to snuggle into basements, I’m not going to prove them anything.” Honestly - I lied a bit. I’m going to, but in such a way that no one would notice it. It's really funny when people are scared of you on one hand. But on another - it just annoys you, when all these fears bring discomforts and create problems. Like yesterday with the dentist. It was he who had gotten frightened, but it's me who has an unhealthy cheek now. Another question is that I’m also not going to acquaint with everyone fanatically and not going to stroke dogs right and left pointedly... Well, maybe, let it be as it is. They would get used to it, they’re not going anywhere. “Yeah...” Applejack rubbed her nape, but wasn't fast enough to formulate her thought: a well-groomed stallion-earthpony with a stylish hair and with a necktie appeared from bushes nearby, and he was hazily familiar to me. “Good day, Applejack!” The stallion started right on the run. “I wanted to...” What he wanted will be a mystery for the rest of our lives: when he saw me, he held his tongue and froze. “O-oh, lady Nightmare, I just... I didn't... know...” He squeezed out an unnatural smile, laying back his ears and sweeping around with his gaze simultaneously and nervously . “Filthy Rich! Hi!” The farmer-girl greeted him with a relief. That's why he was so familiar to me... Yeah, he was in the cartoon and, if I remember correctly, was doing some business with the Apples. “I... Uh... I’ll come later, Applejack. When you’re free...” He swept an anxious gaze over me and made his way back past the bushes hastily, and after a second there was a hoof beat that swiftly ran away to somewhere. “Damn it!” The orange earthpony waved with her mane resentfully. “Maybe you’ll visit me later?” She said it to me and Pinkie with such a tone that is not allowed for argument. “Nothing personal - it's just business.” I grunted and nodded. “Let's go?” I looked at the pink pony that looked somewhat gloomy. She nodded wordlessly, and we, accompanied by an Applejack's sigh, moved away from the farm. “Filthy! Wait! I... Ah, hay!” This made its way into our ears after a few seconds - a successful business mare started to pursue her very important business partner. “Filthy, come back, I’ll excuse everythi-i-ing!” I parodied and chuckled. “Prosperity of the farm is very important to Applejack, but she has never put friends below this...” Pinkie said sadly while not paying attention to my phrase. “And Nightmare... Please, don't joke like that. “To eat”, burgh... “ She shivered chilly. “Come on! A good one, I liked it.” I bared teeth. “Not a good one at all! Scary! And it’s not of the kind when it's funny when it scary, but a really-really scary! Don't do it, please...” The sheepishly cringed earthpony swept a frightened and something like a disappointed gaze. “Fine, I’ll try.” I grumbled. The Pinkie’s answer was a relieving sigh only. “Well, about Applejack... It’s obvious that she’s not impressed by me.” I continued another topic to break the hanging silence in the air. “Immediately, when an opportunity with a plausible excuse to get rid of me appeared - she used it, and that's all.” “But it's wrong!” My companion raised an upset gaze at me. “One should try to get friends, to smooth things over and to understand each other, not to avoid! But she did the same as the others - escaped!” “I don't see a tragedy.” I followed some bird with my eyes, that was sitting on a branch of a tree near the road, as she quickly flew away from me. “I hoped that such an honest pony as Applejack could have seen that you’ve changed and accept it! But she...” Pinkie sighed. “Come on.” I waved with a wing. “Maybe she's really having an urgent business after all.” “Maybe...” Pinkie mused for a few seconds, shook with her curly mane and looked at me with her normal, joyful gaze. “What’s next, Night? To Rarity or to Fluttershy?” Well, I won't go to Fluttershy without a gift, and it means going back into the town. So... “Let’s begin with Rarity.” By the way, the dress designer can give a hint about the gift - in canon they were fairly a good pair of friends. “Okay, let's go! We must go there!” Pinkie waved with her leg towards the center of the town and started to go forward bouncingly. I chuckled and followed her. I’d have been surprised if we hadn't had go there - we’re on a straight road that leads only from Ponyville to Sweet Apple Acres, there are no crossroads at all.. It was a familiar situation in Ponyville: people spread out in different ways swiftly, pressing themselves against walls and making their pace faster, trying to go around me by the biggest arc, but the most frightened tried to hide away from my eyes in side streets or to lock their houses. I enjoyed by picking strangers who were so brave that they looked at me and started to look at them narrowly, without blinking, laughing at their reactions in my mind. These reactions were often nervous or even frightened, but it's good for me that eyes of ponies, as it seems, protected by some kind of magic, that allows you to look without blinking for a few minutes, continuously pressing strangers with a heavy look. The picture is completed by Pinkie Pie, bravely prancing near me, sending smiles and greetings to people around, earning stunned and glassed gazes in answer - it looks like it’s not the locals’ cup of tea, when a pair of a joyful pink baker and a black, shady evil alicorn in retirement is together. Twilight wasn't having such a reaction yesterday. Well, it's obvious that every dog knows Pinkie, but the lavender unicorn lives here for hardly a week, and not everyone even knows that she's a student of Princess herself. Shortly after our hooves were clip-clopping across a causeway - we've made it to the central streets of the town. Yeah, there it is, a very distinctive roof: light blue, with a colored weather vane - It sticked in memory when I was examining the town in the first day - that means “Carousel” is nearby. I wasn't wrong - we came to the pompous building after a few minutes. Sign at the door says that the owner is having a day off, but she's happy to see guests. Pinkie fell a little behind to greet an acquaintance. I chose to not wait the restless pony, came closer to the door and carefully knocked for admittance. It was surprising to me that it was Spike who opened the door. So this is where he went early in the morning... Purple dragon opened the door, fixed his eyes on my legs and slowly looked up, and he just couldn't believe in this “fortune”. I smiled pleasantly, demonstrating a saw of fangs, dragon shivered and recoiled for half a step, looking away nervously. “Hi, Spike. I’m here to see Rarity.” I pictured the aim of my visit. “A-a... Uh... She's not here now.” The small one got nervous, scouring with his gaze. “I am sorry for that, Nightmare, but...” Smiling unnaturally, he tried to close the door before me. Didn't succeed - wood clattered against my leg in the notch between the door and the wall. A lovely story. “She's not here”, yeah. Draw a blank. “Well, it’s not that bad.” I said it acting too freshly, smiling widely at the dragon once again. “I’ll wait for her here. They say that her boutique always has things to look at, so it seems that I won't be bored.” I made a step forward, impeding over Spike and forcing him to step back. “R...Rarity asked me... That no one should disturb her... Uh... I mean, no one should disturb her store while she's gone...” Spike said nervously, wringing his fingers on his paws. “Spikey! Who has come there?” This voice radiates happiness from somewhere at the second floor and made the dragon pale. “As was to be proved.” I satisfyingly nodded to myself and looked at the unlucky dragon that tried to tense. “Yeah, kiddo, even the Element of Honesty lies better than you!” I graded his vain attempts and shook my head. “This guy is a lost cause.” I entered, putting the frozen from fear dragon aside with my telekinesis. “Hello! “Today is my day off, but I’d be happy... Oh...” The white unicorn froze for a moment at the stairs when she saw me. “Hello, Nightmare! What can I help you?” She quickly recovered, returning a friendly expression on her face, but it looks a way less sincere that a few second before. “Hello, Rarity!!!” Unexpectedly, a pink rocket took off behind me even before I had time to open my mouth. “I’m so glad to see you!” Curly earthpony appeared near the unicorn immediately, who had descended already and hugged her. “Pinkie!!!” She began to whine. “My mane! I've just set her!” “Oh, I’m very sorry!” The hyperactive pony sprang back from her friend, downing her ears with fault. “But I’m really-really happy to see you!” “We met yesterday, darling.” Rarity rolled her eyes, creating a joyful impression to me, like she's trying to look for defects in her mane without a mirror. “And what? I still missed you!” The “darling” still doesn't get the message. The unicorn sighed and shook her head. “Oh, fine. Wait a little Pinkie, I beg you!” She implored. “So, what brought you to “Carousel”, Nightmare?” Designer addressed to me, simulating a duty benevolence on her face. “I’m showing the town to Night and acquaint her with my best friends! It’s great, isn't?” The restless mare intervened again, not letting me to say even a word. “So you're together?” Rarity was surprised. “Yep! Visiting you!” Pinkie confirmed with enthusiasm, smiling widely. “Oh, this is bad..” The unicorn sighed, covering her mouth with a hoof. “I have almost nothing! Oh, this is awful! I have nothing to regale you with!” She started to toss about the corner. I followed her with my gaze thoughtfully, trying to understand - is she playing on public or is she serious? Honestly - there was so much panic in her voice that I couldn't just throw away the second version right away. “Rarity! Maybe I can help you?" The frozen dragon finally came to life and now looked at the elegant mare with a faithful sight. “Oh, Spikey! You could help me if you'd go to the Cakes and buy something eligible for the guests!” Rarity put a hoof to her chest and gifted the dragon a heartfelt gaze. Such a manipulator! “Of course, Rarity! You can count on me!” The knight, deluded with faith from a beautiful lady, stuck out his chest and moved his lower jaw out. I clenched my teeth to not start to laugh. “I knew I can count on you, Spike! Thank you!” The mare smiled radiantly, giving him a purse. “Make sure you will buy chocolate cakes! They’re delicious!” Pinkie gave a hint to the dragon. “And the strawberry cake with meringue as well! And don't forget cream gateaux! And grab croissants with condensed milk! And..." “Uh... I’ll be soon!” Spike fastened to get out in the street, failing to hold back against pressure. “Wait! I’m not done yet...” Pinkie broke into a run after him. The door slammed, cutting the end of the phrase off and leaving me alone with Rarity. Good freaking job, a creature of chaos... I thought that the main talking part would be on her, and my part is nodding and go along with her talk in needed places, just for others to see me and to get used... However, fortunately, the owner home didn't allow me to just stupidly look at the wall for hour upon hour. “Maybe... You’d drink some tea?" She asked forcedly. “Don't mind it.” I nodded in answer. Yeah, acquaintance without a good reason isn't my forte, I think that leaving now is my bigger wish. But I still have to get in contact with the locals somehow, and it's obvious that I should start with those who know me a little bit and not scared of. If to be precise, scared of a bit, but not like the others, who lose their minds when they see my head. “Unfortunately, I don't have anything to offer you with tea.” The unicorn sighed, inviting me to follow her with a gesture. “Except for, maybe, a little bit of cookies..." “It's fine.” I smiled with an edge of my lips, remembering some periods of my life, when tea without sugar and bread with mayonnaise were a desert. Why it was so - the memory doesn't give an answer. I sat down to the table and started to examine with interest how a skilled unicorn do her household: stand on one place, following flying to their places serving pieces with a gaze, pouring tea into a teapot with her telekinesis simultaneously, putting the kettle on... Well, I enjoyed the show and was jealous: taking so much different objects to different paths, and not even seeing some of them... Unfortunately, no topics to talk about with a hardly known pony got into my head. Are we going to drink tea wordlessly... Wait, why “no topics”? I had an idea of trying to spy out from Rarity the things that can be liked by Fluttershy and what to gift her. Do I like this new life or not - I think that Fluttershy's deed must be paid off. Meanwhile, the unicorn poured tea into bowls and sat down to the opposite side of the table. During the time we’ve spent at the kitchen, she said no word: my presence does not inspire her, and the option of kicking me out of the house is blocked by either fear or manners. “Thanks.” I accepted the bowl and a vase with half a dozen of cookies at the bottom. “By the way, I thought you can help me in one question..." “Depends on the question.” The mare answered carefully, stirring her tea with a spoon and giving me a fast glance. “How good do you know Fluttershy? What gift she could liked?” “Gift?!” Rarity was astonished, even forgetting about the spoon and stopping the stirring. “Princess Celestia told me that if she hadn't said the words, solution of my fate... Could have been different.” I shivered reflexively. “So I think I should express gratitude for her kindness.” I explained and kissed the bowl, lifting it with telekinesis. A grateful drink, even without sugar, but a little bit different than Twilight's. “M-m... To express gratitude?!” Unicorn froze, the bowl didn't even make it to her mouth. Yeah, the locals have contempt towards the Mare in the Moon if they think that she can't pay off a good deed. “Oh, sorry, Nightmare.” My interlocutor laid her ears back guiltily. It seems that the expression of my face was very tell-tale. “I didn't wait... No, don't get me wrong!...” “Just say it, Generosity: you didn't wait the presence of positive emotions inside of an old evil legend. We’ve all been there.” I summarized, chuckling gloomily. “Oh, I didn't want to insult you!” She fell into sadness completely. “If Her Majesty Princess Celestia accepted and trusted you, I’ll try to do the same, but... It's difficult: read about reckless evil spirit in a textbook, fight with it, and now... Drink tea at the same table!” Unicorn shook with her head distrustfully. “What about the gift anyways?” I tried to change the topic with elegance of a heavy tank. “Wait a second, please.” Pony stopped me with a gesture. “I just...” She rose from the table and went to a refrigerator, coming back with a bucket of ice cream half a minute later. Unicorn grabbed a small dish and ripped the wrapping, keeping a few spoons of dainty for herself and giving the rest to me. “The last, kept for an extreme case.” She explained her move. “And please - forgive my outrageous indelicacy. I should not have reacted in such a way.” She lowered her eyes to the dish, hesitated for a second and moved the first portion into her mouth. I was looking how she settles her nerves, working with her spoon fixedly, then I shook my head and looked at my own bucket before me. Let’s test the local ice cream out... A bit melted, soft, tender plombières that, in addition, chills my hurt cheek, was beyond praise. I ate the dainty faster than Rarity, even though got to business later, and in fact - she split portions in my favor! I had got back into the real world when I caught myself licking an empty bucket - fortunately, Rarity was so busy with her portion that she, as it seems, didn't even notice that. “Matchless.” I said my verdict, taking aside the empty container. Unicorn chuckled, smiling hesitatingly, but it was clear that my appraisal adulated her. “You can express regrets tastily, Rarity.” A chuckle touched my lips, when the mare ended with her portion and looked at me. Proven method helped her a lot: she looks calmer and more confident now. “This ice cream is made by pegasi in Cloudsdale. Unfortunately, it is not an easy task to get it... And somehow it always disappears faster than the next delivery comes to me!” Designer mourned, forcing a laugh by me. “But I’m happy that it helped to wear off the impression of my jaundice.” The owner of the boutique gave me a quick glance and immediately looked aside. “It helped.” I smiled for a moment with the edges of my lips. “But only with the impression. Jaundice, as I see, has not gone away. Why you - and the others as well - are afraid to look in my eyes." “Oh...” Rarity rubbed her forehead above the horn tensely. “I don't want to insult you again...” “I’m not a touchy one.” I moved with a wing phlegmatically, interrupting the unicorn. “And I want to know where this reaction comes from. “Fine.” She agreed unwillingly and silenced anxiously, picking the right words. “The thing is... Your eyes, they...” “The pupils are vertical? Glowing?” “No, that’s not the point.” She shook her head. “Your gaze is so... You know... Heavy. Empty. Apathetic and lifeless, it seems like you’re not worried about anyone and anything. Even about yourself. And your smile is a very rare occasion.” Rarity explained a bit fragmentarily, picking a stool by her hoof nervously. You're not worried about anyone and anything... She's right about something, I guess. It is true that nothing and no one holds me in this world... No, I can't understand with my mind that there’s no way back, that I should settle in here, but... It feels like I still don't believe in what happened. Sometimes it feels that everything is going on not with me - I’m just a bystander from aside. My home is not here. There’s nothing that was dear for me... “Nothing at all?” I shivered from the feeble and some kind of dejected unicorn's voice. Did I say the last phrase aloud? “At all.” I cut it off. “Everything that was is left behind, in the past.”I marked it with my voice. In my past, not yours... But it's none of your business, Marshmallow. “I’m so sorry.” This standard cliché, said by her, seemed very heartfelt for some reason. “You know... I... It wouldn't be easy to change my attitude towards you, but... I’ll try. If you need any help - call me. Maybe that would cheer you up...” Rarity lifted her suspiciously glowing eyes. Her glance moved aside, but the unicorn, with a visible force of will, returned it on me, forcing herself to look straightly forward. “Why do you need it?” I looked at her with a gloomy sight. “I know how does it feel, when no one is near, when you're a stranger for everyone and it's unclear what awaits you.” Rarity answered quietly. I fixed her with a glance full of doubt. “When I had only arrived in Ponyville after a dispute with parents, I had, like you now, nothing and no one could help me.” The designer started her story absently, diving into the memories. “A dream to earn money and settle in Canterlot, forgetting this “quiet countryside pastoral” so loved by my parents like it was a nightmare, a wallet with fifty bits, blank flank and some skills of sewing - this what I had when I had just arrived here, realizing along the escape from my home that it's not enough for Canterlot, and I had realized it just in time. Considering that it was far from a stroll even here, what it would have been in the capital... A filly with blank flank in my today’s age is a nonsense, so there wasn't plenty of talking, and finding a job without a cutie mark was a very hard thing. There was a time, when the money were out — I had to sleep in streets, on a bench in a park, and to crop grass to kill the feeling of hunger... But the worst of all was rejection by the locals, kind of disconnection between them and, as I sometimes heard, “insane” young mare, that should have found her true purpose two-three years ago.” Rarity sighed and rose from the table, going to a window and staring through it with a vacant look. Holy cow... The result of picturing Rarity, sleeping on a bench and covering herself with an old newspaper, was really bad. Never thought that this elegant lady that vividly panics because of stray hair and trying to look like an aristocrat, could have such a story. “I don't know how it could have ended without the help of madam Embroidery - she was my friend and my teacher in those years. And now, when you're in the same situation, I... I just can't leave it as it is.” She said it when I thought that there would be no continuation. “Because I know myself that you need support.” She turned to me. “Thanks, Rarity.” I said quietly, closing my eyes. Heartfelt compassion and effort of this pony to, after all, understand and accept me, pleasantly responded in my soul. Maybe because of such as she, as Pinkie, as Princess Celestia, I, eventually, will accept this world not only by the mind, but by the heart as well... The kitchen went silent. I was moving an empty bowl before my eyes thoughtlessly, mourning in the mind dully about telekinesis’ field that prevents examining the bowl by its light, and Rarity thought about her own, looking out the window... ... “Nightmare, I can't look at it anymore!” Unicorn whined after two bowls of tea in silence. “M?” I marked my interest to the problem. “I know that it does not belong to a good pony, dreaming about the high society, to say that right into the face, but...” She bit her lips. “Bu-ut?” I curved my brow. “Your mane is a nightmare!!!” She screamed, closing her mouth with a hoof in the same moment embarrassingly. “Don't remind me about it please.” A heavy sighed fell out of my chest. “This back scrub on my head will drive me mad! Tickles my ears, creeps into eyes and mouth, scrabbles when dressing armor, turns into a a mat of hair after sleep...” With a gesture of anxiety and hopelessness I put my head onto the table and closed my eyes with a foreleg. “You don't even know how I miss my magic mane with those tiny little stars...” I complained about my fate to the unicorn. The mane was a disaster for real, and it was a very hard job to not pay attention to it. A long hair is creeping to where it shouldn't be, scrabbles, clots and just drives me crazy. And I just couldn't transform this crow's nest on the head into an adequate look: I just couldn't use something with telekinesis that is out of my vision - like a comb somewhere on my nape, mirror only worsens things. And I can't even comb it with my fingers like in the good old days, and I don't even know what the reason is... In the end, I just left it how it was and moved on, trying to not pay attention to this catastrophe and hoping naively that sooner or later the canonic ethereal mane would return to me and the problem would gone by itself. Unfortunately, this outstanding event doesn't want to happen... “You definitely should visit spa!” Rarity suggested, brimming with enthusiasm. “Head-dress, mask of fur, hoofcure, massage, steam room, balmy bath, professional cleaning of teeth...” She advertised glowingly. Massage you say... Massage is a good thing, yeah. I should go for it because of massage. And yeah - professional cleaning of teeth is a very interesting idea as well. If my “saw” made of fangs shines - it will be on twenty percents cooler than now, heh-heh... “I’ll think about it.” I decided to answer indefinably for the moment. “Not today for sure. And yeah, of course it would be possible if the spa will not close only because of my approaching.” A wry chuckle crept on my face. “They better not!” Rarity shook her head martially. “If they force me to go unclean only because of you going with me - there will be no mercy!” Mare bended the brows unkindly. “You should notify them beforehand about my visit. It helped with the doctors: they were shivering, but healed me. With few exceptions.” I shrugged with my wings. I made it. Unfortunately, it’s not that emotional as with shoulders, but I can't use them. “I’ll try.” Rarity nodded. “And I still didn't answer about the gift... It was just so... Unexpectedly.” She smiled a little bit nervously. “So, what Fluttershy likes?” I changed the topic for Rarity. “Well...” She dove into thoughts. “For the starters - Fluttershy doesn't like gifts themselves: she hesitates terribly, so it's not an easy task to give her something. And even if it's possible to persuade her to take a bagatelle, she won't take something expensive by no means, especially from a little-known pony.” “Interesting...” I rubbed forehead above my horn thoughtfully. “Why is it so?” “Our Flutty is the very definition of shyness.” Designer sighed. “Honestly - I’m not sure that you would be even able to talk with her. And it’s not just because you're the Mare in the Moon, but because she hesitates to talk to strangers in general.” “We’re acquainted. Relatively.” I chuckled. “And moreover - it's she who stood up for me.” “Fluttershy couldn't do otherwise, Nightmare.” Mare shook with her head. “In that situation she would stand up for anyone. It’s not without reason that her Element is Kindness.” “After your descriptions I’m surprised that she even joined you.” It was really interesting to me about the things that drove this silent and shy pegasus against the scary Mare in the Moon through the frightening Everfree forest and gloomy ruins of an old castle. “She's not got that many friends, as you could guess.” Rarity sighed quietly once again. “This is why she appreciates them. Poor Fluttershy, even though she was shivering like an asp leaf, but went with us back then. Because friendship is stronger than her fears.” Unicorn drew the line with a determined voice. “Okay... So, a golden statue of Fluttershy, three times above her isn't suited for that... What a shame.” I stretched the words out discomposedly and chuckled when I saw the elongated face of my interlocutor. “I’m kidding.” “What a shame.” Rarity parodied me. “I was ready to ask you about the same thing for me.” She sighed falsely, and we laughed together. “So, it's clear what she doesn't like. But what she does?” I specified when the laughter gone. “Animals, books about animals, cute bagatelles for animals...” The mare started to recite. “I got it.” I stopped her after a few second, understanding that there are no points without the “animals” part. I wouldn't give her a book - there's a great chance of her having it already. Honestly - I can't give her a toy: it's unsubstantial and just not compared to what she’d done... “Listen, what about something in your store that she likes?” I addressed to the unicorn. “The things she likes either already bought by her or were granted to her by others.” Rarity shook her head. Dammit, a dead end as well. “Then I don't even know...” I rubbed my forehead perplexedly. No ideas, except for an idiotic one: bite Fluttershy - maybe she'd turn into cute Flutterbat? “Hm... You know, I'd try to find a cheap jewel about the nature. Something like a hairpin that seems like a leaf, for example.” My interlocutor advised after a few second. Good thought. “I’ll try.” I sharply nodded in answer. “An interesting hint.” “Happy to help, Nightmare.” Rarity smiled somewhat gloomily and rose from the table with a smooth move. “Thanks, Rarity.” I followed her, nodding in answer. “And for tea, unfortunately without a cake...” I just wanted to smile, but a thought came swiftly into my mind... Rarity, by her worried look at the watch, did the same. It’s almost evening, but Spike and Pinkie still didn't come back! I read my bewilderment out aloud. “I think I know what's happened.” The designer stretched out in answer. “Poor Spikey got caught and now forced to stay in “Sugarcube corner”!" She put a hoof on her forehead expressively for a few seconds and moved to the exit. I chuckled and followed her. “Are you going to Fluttershy?” Rarity asked already in the hall. “Firstly to the market, and then - yes, to Fluttershy.” I made clear. “Sorry, I can't show you the way now: I must rescue Spikey, Pinkie got a little... excited there with the baking.” Unicorn admitted a bit discomposedly. “Won't you mind if I just told you where to go?” “No, why will I?” I looked at the mare dazedly. “Don't make your chevalier wait during troubles, milady, every second is precious!” I put a hoof on my chest passionately and didn't stop myself and started to laugh. Designer joined me with her melodious laughter after a moment. “Okay, I’ll go.” I waved to the mare with my wing when the laughter ended and she instructed me about the way to the market and to the house of the yellow pegasus. “Goodbye, Rarity. It was a pleasure to meet you.” “Goodbye, Nightmare Moon. It was for me too.” She nodded in answer. I turned back and moved away, clinking with my shoes on the stone of streets. The day drags to evening, it's time to get a gift for Fluttershy and visit her until it gets dark. “And Nightmare...” I was called from behind. I turned around to the thoughtful unicorn, following me with her somewhat strange gaze. “Laugh more often, please. When you laugh - you have such a living look.”
18. Cowards Die Many Times Before Their DeathIt wasn't a long run ‘till the market, but even during that short way that didn't take a lot of time, I've discovered one thing: “Me with someone” and “me alone” in the locals’ eyes - are very different creatures. Despite the fact that I don't scare someone on purpose now, brave ones were getting round my lone figure by a lot wider arc, and the numbers of such brave ones was reduced in the same way. Result - if I didn't catch the market during a total closing, then it would be a massive pack up. Not only a big chunk of costumers decided to run, but a few sellers decided to end their shift earlier, seeing me coming. Those, who decided to stay, stopped to loudly drum up customers and barter aloud, giving me nervous gazes from time to time. It was interesting to see how swiftly this market died out and silenced, it was like a class with students, which the teacher decided to leave, and then, when she returns ten minutes later, asks gloomily about the reason, why some strange noise and yelling from the class was heard even at a different floor. Laughing at the comparison, I, accompanied by a sweepingly thickening silence, entered the market. It wasn't that big: a relatively small area, on which a dozen of concessions take place in some disorder. On the concessions were nature's gifts mainly. Carrot and other vegetables, berries, flowers, nuts... Oh, that's a big one! I paid attention to the nuts’ seller. It’s not a pegasus, it's THE pegasus, God damn it! This tall, as a tower, white winged stallion behind the concession with a mohawk of strawberry blond on the head could, if I’m right, see my eyes even without lifting his head. Balls of powerful muscles under the skin of this “Herculean horse” finish his character; a relative small, by the local standards, pair of red eyes and straightforwardly sketchy, for such a juggernaut, wings. I remembered who he is! Bulk Biceps, if I’m right, this comrade's name. It took some time to recognize him - he was too grotesque in the canon... THE pegasus paid attention to me and met my gaze, laying down his ears and shrinking into himself behind his concession, as if he was trying to be smaller and ending this impression instantly. At least he didn't run away... It could've been funny, though... I didn't find something eligible on the concessions: the only one who does trade something instead of food, was ragman or something like that. There were pots, a few irons like “coal cast-iron, a museum piece”, massive clocks with an owl and similar things: who needs it and why is a millennial-old question. However, this market is not only about concessions: there was a bunch of different stores around the market area, right before my eyes were signs of stores about books, sports, two were about garden things... But none of them were a jewelry one. It seems I have to ask locals about its whereabouts... Fortunately, even though the market is a bit of an empty place, but there was still enough of potential informers. The same ragman, sweeping lazily an indifferent gaze across me and then again starting to read his newspaper, or a pair over there, made up of a yellow pony-customer and a brown stallion with a week-old scrub on the muzzle, so busy about trading berries, that they didn't even pay attention to me. Thinking briefly, I moved to the pair: they're closer. “...The most delicious, but also the freshest one on the market! So either you give me twelve bits or you go away - that's my last word!” The stallion struck the table and smiled boldly, watching the downhearted customer with supremacy. Yea-ah, I like him already... However, when the fence lifted his gaze at me, his smile on this harry mug disappeared immediately, and he shrank his head into the shoulders, swallowing fitfully. His customer, which held tongue all the time gloomily, saw what happened to the brash trader and turned around. Here we go... “Oh!” Fluttershy gasped out frighteningly; I didn't recognize her because of the bags, covering the wings, and unusual stray, rough mane. “Mother...” She tried to step back, bumped into the table and, whining quietly, surprisingly, went limp, rolling her eyes and dropping down under my feet. I followed the falling body with a thoughtless gaze slowly. She knows me throughly - and such a reaction... That... That touched me on a sore place. “What she wanted to buy?” I asked the seller evilly, which was looking with marked fear at me and at the poor pegasus by turn. “A-a?” He twitched. “C... Cherry, my lady. H-here, t-the last one.” He nodded at a small kite with berries, about a hundred or two grams visually. “I’ll take it, for one coin.” I nailed it, taking one roundel out from my bag onto the table. “Any objections?” The fence started to frequently shake his head. “That's great.” I put the kite into my bag. “And yes, my dear... If you raise the price.” I nodded at Flutty. “For her once again - I’ll break your legs. Every single one of them.” The stallion, swallowing fitfully, stepped back, gazing me with a haunted look. “Is it clear?” I elevated my voice. “Y-yes...” The fence panted, nodding repeatedly. “I hope so. Good day to you, dear.” I turned back from the running away stallion. A breathless silence appeared on the area, the market, as it seems, was eying our conversation, and after its ending, the market lost at least another half. However, I didn't care about that at all. I put legs astride for the fixity and put magic in the horn, wrapping the pegasus with a field of telekinesis. Oh, damn it! Levitating fifty coins still was harder, but there wasn’t a task to bring them somewhere. I’ll not make it until her house. But... Why do I have the back then? I turned my head to see my own back, and felt, how my neck joints are cracking from the strain and how the horn starts to glow evilly, I put Fluttershy onto myself. The head of the passed out pegasus settled pleasantly on my neck, tickling it with its fuzz mane a bit, the legs hung down the sides. I lifted my wings to not allow Fluttershy to crawl aside, and tried to walk. More or less. Not dust, but I’ll be able to carry it for a long time. If only the side doesn't hurt again... However, the cream is still working. Fine. How Rarity said? Leave the market towards a blue house with a frontage, then go left on the crossroads... Rearranging Fluttershy on the back, I, followed with crazy gazes of a few pony that stayed, moved towards marked way at the trot. ... There’s the cottage. We’ve made it. I sighed with relief and looked back, rearranging the crawled mare back, which is still unconscious. The first thing I saw when I opened the door was a white bunny, standing pointedly with its back towards the entrance and stomping the floor disdainfully. Angel, I see. His behavior was annoying for me even in the cartoon. Honestly, even considering what I've seen in this world, I didn't except that wild animals will be... Like that. He’s clearly not as stupid as his earth analog. And this is why I hate him even more. “Bunny - it's not only the valuable fur, but also three hundred grams of dietetic meat. “ I remembered a quote. It's clear as day that he waited for Fluttershy - this is why he’s playing pretend... Meanwhile, the long-eared one understood, that something is wrong, and turned around, seeing my gentle grin. I didn't even have time to say something ambitious - this bastard was literally blown away, and so fast, that I didn't even understand where. And a question raises: why does Flutty suffer this misfit? He could have been more useful in an oven. Fine, hell with that bunny - I should find a sofa while my legs can keep me straight... I sighed and cringed at the same time - the smell in the veterinary's house was like in a zoo. I’m not saying that there’s no air to breathe, but it's still barely pleasant. By itself, the comparison between the lair of the shy pegasus and a zoo was calling for a lot of reasons: drooping boards and bird tables, some wooden boxes with holes as an enter, baskets with pillows, a wonderful net in a corner... By the way, its owner, when I've entered, hastened to go away as far as eye can see with others. If locals spiders are relatively intelligent - why don't I get one? They’re funny, and they will fit my image flawlessly... Oh, here it is - I stopped my space thoughts, finally finding a sofa, that was hidden in a far corner. I came closer and carefully put the winged pony onto it - she's still unconscious - and sighed with relief. Oh, God damn it... I almost failed, but I made it. If her house were half a kilometer further - they would have to carry me: the bruise on the side isn't fully healed and started to remind about itself with dull pain. Taking off the pegasus’ bags, I put them onto the floor and borrowed a nearly lying folded shepherd's plaid, covering her. I gazed at the peacefully sleeping pony with a long stare, moved aside and sat right onto the floor. Well... What next? Of course, I can just leave and attend her on a different occasion, but leaving Flutty in such a condition feels wrong. From the other side, this condition appeared because of me... It was a little bit sad, if to be honest. She fought the Nightmare's croup as the others, she's the only one after the fight who found courage to say something in the Mare in the Moon's defense - and, if I'd trust Celestia, her words were the deciding ones... Meetings with other keepers of the elements went... Well, not smoothly, but at least they didn't fear me that much. Were a little afraid, careful, nervous... But didn't run away in panic, let alone passing out from my presence. I think I've been anticipating something like this from Fluttershy as well, but she... “Well, I don't know about the others, but this particular one should not fear me!” I brought my thoughts to a close. I stay. I’ll try to talk with her when she's conscious. Standing up, I moved to examine the house. The first thing was the bathroom. Sweeping a sad look across my stray mane in the mirror above the sink and screwing up my face, I went to another doorway, behind which a kitchen was situated. From interesting things there were a bunch of bird-tables on the walls, the same amount of bowls for animals, and a magic furnace and a refrigerator. By the way, about the refrigerator... I took out the kite with cherries from my bag and put it onto a free shelf of a miracle, made by the local magic engineering. For my taste - it's small, but, when compared to the earth electric counterparts, there's no hum. It’s cool. I gave a short look at its content, which was quite small. Some vegetables, a bottle of milk on tap and a pair of eggs. It’s unsurprising that there were no meat or fish. Shutting down the door of all humans’ friend... And not only humans, I looked around again, spotting a newspaper, unnoticed before on a stool. Well... I sat down on a neighboring place and took print media. Haven't seen these newspaper in a while... Generally, the local example isn't that different from an old earth one - thin paper, inexpressive paints on colored photos, except that the size of the newspaper itself was a lot smaller. Front page of “Canterlot news” impressed with the title: “Princess Luna is officially shown to the public!” and a photo with happy Celestia with full fig and some lost Luna nearby. Blue alicorn looked completely undangerous and somewhere even cute, which was accompanied by a bright blue mane, like a normal one, which I have as well. If I didn't know what a scumbag is hiding behind this harmless face - I'd believe it for sure. It's okay, just wait for me to get used to the body and I’ll think about your skin as a carpet in my living room, piece of shit... Feeling a growing anger starting to burn inside, I clenched my teeth and narrowed eyes, hastening to turn over the page. It’s not the time to think about it, luckily, I have an eternity ahead, so I can take my time. She would get her deserts, she would for sure. Sooner or later. After this, as you can expect from a newspaper with such name, were news about Canterlot, not interesting in itself, but I read them just to practice language, breaching through changed orthography and terminology was still not an easy task. Some moments were not even understood by me: if I don't forget - I’ll ask someone about it... Immediately after were short news from all over Equestria and opinion pieces, amidst which I surprisingly saw one about me - about Nightmare Moon. The author, if we'd toss away his plethora of words, was suggesting a thinking about Mare in the Moon being an evil ghost and put some arguments against it. Conclusion about who Nightmare Moon really is wasn't written and was left to readers’ choice. I have a funny feeling that this opinion is written by no other than Princess Celestia - I doubt its existence with someone else at the place of the author. Except... Luna is back, maybe she could remember about Nightmare to celebrate this event. But the tone of the opinion, as it seems to me, is too friendly for those, who since childhood think of me as a demon. Well, if Tia, as she promised, started to plane my reputation - my respect to her for that. The only thing that makes me nervous is pony, being cured from the fear of me at all - it wouldn't that good... Are they going to hang around my neck and request autographs? Who needs this shit even a bit. My thoughts were interrupted by a silent moan from the neighboring room and sounds of fuss. Oh, Flutty has finally awoken. The idea of how to behave was born immediately: I talk to her through the wall until she won't come here. If I put the emphasis on being friendly, then, I guess, she won't be scared of me that much as she was. “Have you awoken, Fluttershy? How do you feel?” I asked, elevating my voice. “Oh!” I barely heard a silent exclamation. My mind immediately painted a pegasus, hiding her head under a pillow and now lying on the sofa and twitching. A smile appeared on my face by itself. “You've lost consciousness on the market. I've brought you home. Are you alright here?” “...” She said something silently and, judging by the sounds, stood up from the sofa and moved to here. I swiftly moved to the furtherest edge of the table from the doorway and used the unfolded newspaper as a cover: I don't need her passing out just entering the kitchen! I hope that my horn above the edge isn't enough for her to do so... “I've bought the cherry for you. In the refrigerator.” I continued to sit, when the steps were closing in to the doorway. “T-thanks...” Mare said it, entering the room, stopping hesitantly to figure out, who's behind the newspaper. “You're always welcome, Fluttershy. Thanks to you.” “T-to me?!” Pegasus’ voice soughed this almost shockingly. “Ehm... But... For what?” “If not you - I wouldn't be here, Kindness.” Come on, come on, make the conclusion. I've given you all the hints you needed. “But... Ehm... No one was...” The mare hesitated. “No one you say?” Demonstrating my eyes, I put down the newspaper. “O-oh!” Whining, the pegasus started to step back. “Hello, Fluttershy.” I hoped she wouldn't react in such a way... But she didn't pass out where she stood - that’s a go. “You didn't answer: how do you feel?” “F-fine.” She said it almost inaudibly and bumped against the edge of the doorway with her croup, closing eyes and awaiting the coming death. “It’s good.” I rose from the table, putting away the newspaper. “Are you sure that is not going to happen once again? Maybe you should visit a doctor after all?” I came closer to the shivering pegasus and stroke her with an edge of a wing, causing her attempt to become intangible and a short mournful squeak. It was... Cute. “N-no-no, ev-verything is f-fine.” The mare said almost inaudibly after a few seconds. It is good that she's speaking, otherwise I don't know what I would have to do with her. “Are you sure, Fluttershy?” I added a little bit of sympathy and unrest in the voice. “You've lost consciousness on the market so suddenly... What if it something serious?” “Everything is f-fine, really.” She hastened to assure me quietly. Her eyes were still closed, but Flutty has stopped to straightly shiver. “What if not?” Laughing inside, I kept pressing the pegasus. “Please, let me bring you to the hospital. I’m sure that you’ll get help there!” I turned aside, because if she opens her eyes, she will see this huge smile all across my face. Don't laugh, do not laugh! “N-no, I won't!” It was filled with shadows of panic. I, making a doomed expression, turned to the pegasus. She had, in fact, opened her eyes and now her gaze is running around the kitchen, and her cheeks, as it seems, started to blush. It seems that for her, admitting her pass out because of fear, was... scary, and not admitting - shameful. “Why... You won't?” I made a huge effort for my voice to be lost and sad. “Is there nothing to help you with at all?!” “O-oh... I... Well...” Mare hesitated, filling herself with blush slowly and throughly examining the floor beneath her feet. “I just... I... Ehm... Was scared a little... And...” She said barely audible and closed her eyes again. “Scared of me? Why?” "...” Flutty squeaked, trying to be smaller at all costs. I, snapping with a catch lock, got rid of my right fore shoe, scaring the pegasus with it once again. “Fluttershy, of all ponies, you shouldn't fear me at all.” I booped the pegasus on her nose with a smile. She squeaked cutely and opened wide her eyes from surprise. “Thank you.” I nodded thankfully to her. “...” The pony whispered, hiding behind the mane. Well, it's time to round up: there was enough for the first meeting. As the saying goes: let’s not overstay our welcome. I’ll let her to recover herself. “Fine, Fluttershy. I’m happy that you're alright. I think I’ll go.” I snapped the detached shoe back and moved towards the exit, after a few moments hearing not only my steps, but also house owner's ones. “Farewell, the Element of Kindness.” Saying goodbyes ceremoniously, I smiled to her before leaving. “Thanks again. Call me if someone thinks that he can bully you, like this idiot on the market. And yes, do not forget: cherry is in the refrigerator.” Waiting for a shy whine in answer, maybe a farewell, I turned around and moved towards a bridge across a small river. Yeah... I don't know what I had anticipated, but not his... This shyness was so not eager to contact with me, twitching, as it seemed, from every word... Rarity didn't lie to me. I have little interest in others’ thoughts about me... But when I think that Fluttershy fears me - and maybe will regret that she defended me sometime ago - I get a nasty feeling in my soul.
19. Towards The LifeAuthor's Note Princess Luna starts to actually live, not to exist as she was before the banishment and during it... Original author's note. 19. Towards The Life Princess Luna, waking up early too early, laid in the bed: she doesn't want to get up, but there was no desire to sleep either. If she had woken up ten minutes earlier, she could have seen the ascent of the Sun... Alicorn sighed shortly from how meagerly and tastelessly this thought sounded: “Ascent of the Sun”, yeah... But she didn't have heart to call it “a sunrise” or any other beautiful poetic word. Sunrises can happen now only on holidays... Yeah, and, as she remembers, she was angry at her sister for her demonstrative brag: slowly ascend, slowly descend... She had been showing off, she wanted more respect and love! Now, after many centuries, Tia doesn’t do that: pulls the Sun from the horizon swiftly and casually and goes to do other things. Why - Luna does not ask. But during this week the Princess of the Night understood, that she misses those beautiful sunrises and mind-blowing sunsets. Even though they were almost out of memory, she still feels that she needs them. She has to ask sister to rise the Sun like in the good old days, slowly and goodly... She will someday... Luna rolled over on another side. However, it seems that Tia wouldn't do that: her week-old vacation is coming to an end tomorrow, and she will dive into running the country once again. But even during these days, Celestia still had to sometime pay attention to state's affairs, if to be honest. She was upset that bureaucracy works with pain and misery without her direct intervention, and deputies, who have never been really helping her, have been making mistake after mistake because of the lack of experience of doing anything themselves, asked for leniency, and after getting a silent sigh and approving nod, she went to tackle the worst problems. And Luna, unfortunately for her, wasn't really helping sister: many laws were changed, bureaucracy has grown in size by times, and not only the document execution has changed - the documents themselves were written in a basically foreign language! It’s not a secret that Tia was helping Luna to learn new grammar with pleasure, but it’s impossible to do it just in a few days. Fortunately for Tia, she has loved to “teach her little sister to write scribbles”! Remembering this, Luna tried to scowl, but lost the battle swiftly, and a wide smile swept across the face on her lips. Oh, Tia... This is so good to be together again... But anyways, the junior Princess couldn't help with the vast majority of her sister's job for now. The only thing she can do is rising and downing the Moon, and maybe she can return to her work in the reality of dreams... But even these aren't so simple. The smile, that had settled itself on the alicorn’s face with a struggle, died out swiftly. A couple of days after the memorable evening, when Luna refused to try to rise the Moon because of the feeling that her magic isn't fine, Tia, of course, brought her to a medical examination, and the output was a sentence: “Magic insufficiency”. The “magic insufficiency” term should be understood as “there’s something wrong with your magic, we don't know what, but it must go away after some time.” Returning from the Moon onto Equus, a lot lesser-filled with magic place, where everything went wrong, brought a huge arrangement of different problems with magic. The most noticeable one was that every spell now consumes more energy. It didn't affect a lot something easy, that requires just a sneeze, but complex and energy-consuming ones were threw out the window - the Princess of the Night just has no energy to do so. Even control and accuracy got a hit, and that’s only worsened the situation with complex spells, and, for the last, it's accompanied by a weakened sensitivity. Luna touched her horn with a hoof carefully - nothing new. Usually sensible and delicate organ feels like a complete bone. Not only it was unpleasant by itself, but it also affects magic sense of touch! It was horribly awkward to almost not feel the holding items by telekinesis, and what's more - delicate operations, like writing, were a real challenge and closely moved Princess to the end of her nerves. And these were only the main ones! Others, more smaller problems, aren't countable! In the end, she could run the Moon somehow, but it's only if you think that an indecisive move, after which you will get a hellish headache, can be named “running the Moon”. The Princess of the Night haven't tried to enter the reality of dreams, but would after a few days. This process was rather complicated, but Luna calculated, that a prepared ritual, with the help of her sister, will unburden her task and she’ll be able to reach the needed result. Generally, Tia still holds control over the Moon, and the only thing that the castaway Night Princess can do is settling herself in this modern world, working out her naughty magic, drinking some very expensive potions, that would help her to recover faster, and wait, until everything would be fine at last. For now, Luna can execute only public relations - to attend gatherings, meetings, other conferences... But this possibility was the most undesirable for her: Princess was scared. Scared, that everyone would compare her with the sister, giving hints that Tia is better and more important shrewdly and covertly; scared, that no one would accept her, toss out... Moreover, many fear her very noticeably, and a few ponies, who didn't even read newspapers, started to run in panic from “the Mare in the Moon”, almost breaking Luna's soul into pouring rain of tears. However, the amount of those, who treated her calmly, was still more... And amidst those was, unfortunately, Prince Blueblood. Brushing off this loyal and true enthusiast of the ancient history, trying to get some information about it from time to time, was getting harder and harder. Hints do not exist for him, and a direct refusal meant for him that he has to ask this question later only. But the most shocking for Princess was his wholehearted and sincere admiration of her... Absolutely unearned admiration, created by “historical” studies, that have a very little in common with reality. It wouldn't have been such a problem for Luna, if she had returned alone, what her sister had been anticipating, creating this myth. But now they have Nightmare as well, in which a general pony sees a figure of a real monster and which was stopped by the Princess of the Night at a heavy cost. But truly - she's the monster here. Betrayed her sister, left Nightmare Moon for hundreds of years of suffering... Luna shivered from the surprise, when her heavy thoughts were interrupted by a knock on the door. “C-come in.” The Princess of the Night allowed, wiping coming tears and putting on the mask of calmness and strictness. The entered servants bowed to a confident and organized diarch. ... Luna met her sister in the dining room, and it seems, that she didn't even touch the food, absorbed in reading some scroll. “Hello, Luna! How was your night?” The Princess of the Sun, putting the scroll aside, smiled and swung with her wings welcomingly, waving with her leg invitingly to the chair opposite her. “Good day to you, Your Majesty.” The Night Princess bowed reflexively. “Oh... I mean, hello, sister. The night was good...” Luna hesitated. “Lu!” Celestia sighed heavily. “Why don't you get used already? It has been a week already, but you still call me Queen from time to time and make bows!” “Sorry.” The blue alicorn laid back ears shyly. “I just thought about the etiquette and... It's better if you say what scroll was so interesting to read? And why you haven't touched the food yet?” Luna changed the topic with the gracefulness of a hydra. “I’m waiting until everyone is at the table.” Tia said as a matter of course. “You and... Let it be a surprise.” She smiled at her sister. “Okay, I’ll wait.” The junior Princess nodded, taking a sit opposite to the senior one. She paid attention, that there were none of mains: there were only snacks, which should be brought beforehand. “What about the scroll?” “A letter from my student, Twilight Sparkle.” The Princess of the Sun smiled warmly. “Shares with me about what happened in Ponyville, about her friends. And about Nightmare as well.” Tia’s smile faded away a bit. “And how it's going?” Luna asked with a static tone, examining the scroll on the table with some strange gaze. Tia sighed. She couldn't give much of a hope to her sister, and the Twilight's letter does not show favored prognosis. It doesn't mean that everything is bad: by the student's words and her own experience - it's not that bad: Nightmare shows herself as capable of kindness and friendship, doesn't show evil plans about Equestria... But she was a rather difficult and unsociable person at the same time, which would barely cooperate with Luna, even if she would try to expiate her guilt. Nightmare Moon make fun of death and doesn't see anything scary in that, and she also likes the fact that ponies are scared of her! Princess shared the Twilight's shock and perplexity about this. It just doesn't make sense... What is good about someone else’s fear? How, how can you think that it's normal?! And also Nightmare was no stranger to use force as a solution. She doesn't think that it’s intolerable to use rather harsh threats towards others - well, in this particular case, she's partially excused because of the circumstances: the trader behaved himself in the most immodest and tactless way towards Fluttershy... At the background of the fight with Rainbow Dash, which was now in the hospital with severe injuries, the big picture seems very unsettling. But it’s not the best way to blame the Mare in the Moon for everything that happened... Respond immediately with force on a threat - a thousand years ago, in those harsh times, even Celestia could do the same, if not worse... Tia shook her head to her thoughts. And still: maybe Nightmare’s aggression was logical, taking into account the times in Equestria she remembers, but it's still aggression. From the other side, Rainbow attacked first.... However, the important thing was, in the first place, that the Mare in the Moon didn't even think that she, maybe, had done something wrong! “Are you sure you want to know?” The Princess of the Sun gazed at her sister, resurfacing from her thoughts,. “I don't want you, taking all the blame for what had happened with Nightmare.” “Had happened”, yeah... Entirely by accident and by itself!” Luna chuckled ruefully. “You couldn't know...” “I could!” The Princess of the Night rose up sharply. “And I should have! But instead, I had seen only what I was afraid of - and didn't see any other things! Anyways, it’s a lost cause... There's nothing I can do.” Slouching, Luna waved aside tiredly. Nothing you can do... She wanted to insist, but... Nightmare, mistrustful, suspicious and accustomed to the methods of old times will barely excuse her sister for sure, at least in the near future. Honestly, Celestia couldn't think of something, that Luna has to do, if she wants the black alicorn to just listen to her words. “Don't give up too early, Luna.” Tia tried to cheer her up anyway. “Nightmare is not the most friendly pony, but she can be kind. And I’m sure, that sooner or later, friendship will award her soul with harmony, will teach her how to show kindness and trust others more. If she's not ready to forgive you today, she'll probably be ready tomorrow. So don’t give up, Lu. Everything is going to be okay.” Luna tried to feign a smile in answer, but her doubts and skepticism towards Celestia’s word were as clear as day. “Everything will be fine.” The Princess of the Sun said firmly, trying to spread this firmness on sister's mind. The silence in the air was quickly interrupted by an opening door and clatter of hooves on the floor. Luna, sitting with her back to the door, turned around to see the incomer and froze in an unpleasant pose, not being able to say even a word. A mare entered the dining room. With long sharp horn... And with wings lifted a bit, as it should be on official meetings. Alicorn. Not tall, clearly a young pony with pleasant pink fur and multicolored mane, was moving towards the table at a leisurely pace. “Good day, Princess Luna.” She bowed hesitantly. “Good day, auntie.” Now she addressed to Tia, going without a bow and with a clearly more relaxed tone. The Princess of the Night, staying in a light bewilderment, nodded in answer slowly. “Sister, I’m introducing to you Princess Mi Amore Cadenza, my adopted niece...” The incomer was introduced by Celestia, which was clearly getting pleasure from the effect of it. “You can name me Cadence for short.” Alicorn edged in shyly. “... Which don't respect the etiquette at all.” Tia sighed falsely, but smiled once again. “Auntie has been telling me about you. Nice to meet you personally.” The pink alicorn smiled with the edges of her lips at Luna. “Likewise.” The Princess of the Night, which overcame the surprise, nodded shortly. “Tell me!” She turned to the white alicorn eagerly . “You didn't say that you had found more than one dynasty!” “I had found only one. Cadence is the found alicorn, Luna. She was born as a pegasus and earned her horn, executing her destiny with her talent: love.” “A...” The junior Princess tilted and sat back, almost standing up. “But... But... It's impossible! It’s us who declined the theory that your special talent can be a key to something more! It's us who checked it together - and nothing proved that! Discord, this is not even a theory - just a fugacious guess! How, Tia?! How?!” The blue alicorn flew off from her place again and impended over the Princess of love, throughly examining the blue heart on her hip. Cadence haven't been awaiting such a reaction and tried to step back carefully, casting nervous glances at Celestia and Luna simultaneously. “How does it work?” “Honestly - this is still a mystery for me as it is for you.” Tia shook her head. “As for how it happened... Cadence, will you?” The Princess of the Sun looked at the niece questioningly. “Well... I just helped two ponies to find love - that’s all.” The pink alicorn became confused. “I don't understand what is so special about it...” “I met Cadence at the opening of a new children's hospital.” Celestia started her story, understanding that her niece, as it seems, won't tell more. “She stood in the crowd, in the first ranks, a pink pegasus-teenager. I swept a magic gaze over the gathered ponies and... Was shocked what I had seen. Something unbelievable was happening with Cadence's energy. I’ve never seen something similar. A real extravaganza of magic... I invited her on an audience to solve everything... But she didn't come!” The Princess of the Sun eyed the pink alicorn from head to foot with a smirk. “I thought it was some kind of a joke.” Cadence laid back her ears embarrassedly. “Some orphan from an orphanage, even though with a big name, was invited by Princess Celestia herself?” “I will never forget your stare, when “Princess Celestia herself” brought a second invitation to you, but this time - personally.” Tia smiled lively. “I almost burned with shame! And nearly lost my speech.” The Princess of love blushed because of a short giggle by the white alicorn. Luna couldn't hold a smile as well. “In the castle, I told Cadence the reason of the invitation and asked her permission to tackle this thing. At the first glance, everything that was going on with her, wasn't dangerous, but... It was still an unknown magic process, even though frozen in some balance. I didn't want this - didn't matter what it was - to hurt her.” “I understand only a bit from the Princess’ explanation, but... After I got my cutie mark, when I helped a quarreled couple to again love each other and not to ruin their family, I was truly feeling a little bit... Strange.” Cadence did an undefinable gesture. “At first I thought, that everypony has the same thing when gets their talent, but the medpony, to which I came to get an explanation, said, that it’s not a usual thing.” Luna, leaning forward, sucked in every sister's and the young alicorn's word of their collective story. “Yes, it’s not a usual thing.” Tia nodded. “Getting a permission, I examined Cadence’s energetics, and after I touched the core with my magic, I accidentally destabilized... this. It was clear afterwards, that my gentle touch launched a frozen up to that time process, but then... Cadence's magic started to fade enormously - and a pegasus doesn't have a lot of it. I rushed to support it with mine, I just didn't know what to do. I... I lost myself: I have never encountered something like that in my life. Didn't even find a reference about that!” “She wasn't a unicorn, sister. How could you transfer your magic to her then?” Luna raised her eyebrow. “It’s possible only when magic conductors are engaged, if I remember correctly... And this is the only possible solution, and, what’s more, requires the best of one's accuracy and carefulness to not harm someone! Or...” “I worked out the kinks in the “Star Swirl's transformer.” Tia smiled in answer pleasantly. “With the help of this spell, if you remember, you can share energy with any other pony, almost not risking to harm because of the someone else's organism rejection.” “Its losses were 95 - 98 percent...” Luna mumbled. “Can you show the scheme?” “Of course, but not now.” The Princess of the Sun nodded. “Generally, as it turned out, except magic, I hadn't had to do something. A bright spark happened in some moment, and the loss of energy stopped. Cadence the pegasus was laying before me... With a long creep horn at her forehead.” “You shouldn't have risked on my account, Princess Celestia.” The pink alicorn shook head. “You were exhausted...” “Nothing serious.” Tia waved thoughtlessly in an exaggerated way, looking at the young Princess with a hard look at the same time. “After this “nothing serious” we had a sunny day...” “Cadence!” “...Which lasted more than a week, while auntie had been recovering after the magical exhaustion.” The pink alicorn grassed up Celestia. knitting brows together harshly in answer. “Siste-er...” Luna narrowed eyes threateningly, eying Celestia with a very dissatisfied look. “I wouldn't have left Cadence to die anyways.” She cut it off. “Especially when you're the one, who started this process, which could result in this.” “What if you had got something worse than exhaustion? What could Equestria had suffered then?” Luna was filled with indignation. The Princess of love nodded in approve, sweeping a glance over Celestia harshly as well. “Lost myself” doesn't mean “lost my head”.” Tia insisted calmly. “There wasn't a serious threat to me. And the week on a medical leave was worth it: Equestria got a new Princess, Cadence - horn and a new family, and I - a cute niece.” Tia smiled disarmingly. “Thank you for everything.” “Cute niece” blushed again. “I hope there truly was no risk... But I still feel nervous, while remembering it.” “Don't worry.” The Princess of the Sun calmed her. “And yes, when you're both here, I wanted to offer something. Luna, as I said before, my vacation is going to be over tomorrow, so I’ll have to run the state's affairs again, and I won't be able to spend as much time with you as I should...” Tia sighed shortly. “So I offered Cadence to tag along. Sister, how do you think about her, helping you to get settled in the modern world? And you, my niece - would you help Luna?” “Of course, auntie! I’ll be happy to help.” The pink alicorn agreed without thinking and casted an anticipating gaze at the thinking Princess of the Night. “I... I understand, but...” She hesitated. “It's not a farewell, Luna.” Tia smiled to sister softly. “You can visit me in any time - I can take a break from the duty for half an hour-hour... And even more, if you would like to. I’ll never put you below my job again, sister.” ... “Princess Cadence...” Luna said slowly as if tasting words, when she and Tia were going back from the breakfast. “Who is she? Is she from a high blood? Is she educated enough to bear her crown?” “Cadence's history is rather tragic... “Ill-fate” will be the term.” Celestia sighed. “Maternal grandmother was no more even before her birth, and when Cadence wasn't even a year old - her grandfather was seriously sick and died. Her mother, as far as I know, was madly in love with father and took this loss very heavily. She urged him to go to the funerals, but it was dangerous to take such a small filly in this trip. So they left little Cadence at the paternal grandparents’ shoulders, left without her... And didn't make it back - the airship, which they flew, by some reason, lost its way and crushed against a mountain. Cadence's parents slept in the forward cabins - they had no chance...” “They’re pegasi!” Luna scowled. “Why they flew this unreliable... How it was?” “Mixed-race marriage.” The Princess of the Sun explained. “Mother-pegasus and father-unicorn.” “Aristocrats?” “Ancestry doesn't matter...” Tia tried to wave away, but saw Luna's gaze and answered: “Only father. “In times gone by a very powerful and noble Canterlot dynasty, but sick and rather impoverished by then - they were living from hand to mouth because of old debts." “And now Cadence is a Princess... I struggle to understand.” Luna rubbed her forehead. “Don't judge the modern ponies by their dynasty’s highness, sister. Aristocracy now is just a tradition. A very enduring and very troublesome tradition...” Celestia darkened. The Princess of the Night casted a questioning gaze at her. “All these dynasties is a relic of history.” She explained with a sigh. “The relic of the unicorn's kingdom from the times, when Equestria wasn't united. Now this formal inequality only bothers and divisive society, but it's settled so tight, that I can't do anything with it without insults, problems and casualties. “And now we stand - if I stay out - it's bad, if I step in - it’s even worse.” Tia waved with her leg frustratingly. “The good thing is that the traditional aristocracy exists almost only in the capital - in other cities it has been limited to a minimum or died out completely, with business-ponies taking their place, which formally don't have special privileges - just very rich. And you know what’s funny?” Celestia chuckled. “What?” “Both like to brag with their ancestry, but upside down! If an aristocrat would brag with how old and noble his dynasty is, business-pony would brag with the fact that his grandfather was an apprentice of a smith in a remote village, but now he's the head of a metallurgical combine. But yeah, let's go back to Cadence, shall we?” Luna nodded in agreement. “The parental grandfather and grandmother, which now had an infant, treated her in a rather cold way. Firstly, they were against the marriage of their unicorn-son with a pegasus since the get-go, especially with one that came to the capital from afar, so they weren't happy about a flying granddaughter, and secondly, as I said earlier, they had been living a hand-to-mouth existence. No, they weren't that poor, but if they wanted to raise and support this little filly - they had to either economize on everything or run into new debts...So when the question of sending her to the orphanage sprung up - it wasn't a choice, they didn't even formalize child custody. However, even if they had agreed - Cadence still would have been in an orphanage: they died simply after half a year in a fire, which broke out during some important meeting in a restaurant... This is how this ill-fated pegasus, which didn't even have a name, found herself in an orphanage in Canterlot.” “How did it come that she didn't have a name? She wasn't half a month old, was she?” The blue alicorn boiled over. “Seven months. And why they didn't name her... There’s no such details in the official documents.” Tia made a helpless gesture with wings. “And there’s no one I can ask about it. Maybe the papers were lost, maybe the parents couldn't make a choice, argued about it...” Luna sniffed with anger. “Death of her relatives didn't cause a lot of sorrow in the little mare's soul: she barely remembered her parents.” The Princess of the Sun continued her story. “She got accustomed in the orphanage. One of the nursery, excited in the Crystal Empire and its history, named the orphaned mare after the Crystal's Empire empress, that had been running the country before infamous Sombra - Mi Amore Cadenza. As I was told there, Cadence's growing was accompanied by kindness, with will to always help everyone, to tackle any fight and any quarrel. She called the orphanage her home - fortunately, the nurseries did everything to keep this. Cadence got her cutie mark when she was thirteen, when making peace between horribly quarreled husband and wife, returning their love to themselves - and, as a bonus, brought her prominence. And after about a year, Cadence was caught by my eye. And do you know what's the most unbelievable in all of this?” “Unbelievable except that a mare-teenager became an alicorn and a Princess?” Luna raised her brow ironically. “Strangely enough - yes.” Celestia smiled. “Ponies, which were reconciled by her, became parents of her "special pony” and my personal student, which now is the Element of Magic.” The Princess of the Night, stopping near a window and looking out of it with a long stare, rubbed her forehead perplexedly. ... The day comes to an end. Celestia downed the Sun, raised the Moon and now was talking with her sister, making their with Luna way to the dinner. “...A week is the maximum. It does not belong to my royal sister to survive in guest chambers!” Tia smiled. “It does not.” Luna chuckled shortly. “My apartments in the old times were smaller than your “guest chambers”! Not to mention this extravagance, that your builders made in my wing of the castle, and which humbly named by you as “my room”! “Pretty much usual chambers, worthy of my sister - nothing more...” The Princess of the Sun smiled innocently. “Usual”...” Luna hummed. “Sister, how much nulls the cost sheet has?” “Doesn't matter how much - they’re all mine.” Celestia became serious. “If there’s no one to waste them on, you can collect a very-very-very lot for a thousand years, even if you don't do that deliberately. “So these are my own money, until the last coin. It’s my gift to you, Lu.” “But still - why... This much?” Making an indescribable gesture, Luna looked up at the Princess of the Sun. “To make you happy, of course.” Tia hugged her sister with a wing. “I want to see a smile on your face more frequently. Also to hasten the appearance of the feeling that you've come back home - where you're being loved and cherished.” “Thank you...” Luna became confused a bit. “But...” The junior Princess couldn't end her sentence: a pegasus in golden armor appeared from a turning. He saw the corulers, sharply stopped his trajectory of flight and almost fell before the alicorns. “Y-your Highness!” The breathless stallion saluted to Celestia. “There! On the landing zone!” The Princess of the Sun scowled, nodding to the pegasus towards the way he flew in. He turned around and started to go back, Tia fell in nearby, and nervous Luna followed them. “What's happened?” “Some creepy creatures appeared, look like ponies, with armor and arms!” The stallion started to tell the story emotionally. “They dared to demand an audience with you in a commanding tone, Your Highness! Lieutenant Shining Armor ordered me to find you and report, while he's alarming the garrison.” “Creatures? Like us?” Princess surprised. “Yes, Your Highness! Like ponies, but their wings are weird and teeth like manticore's! And their eyes...” The guard shivered. “I've never heard about such a horror! Also, Lieutenant called them strangely: firsals or fristals...” “Thestrals?!” Luna asked, hiding her excitement badly, catching her sister and the pegasus up in a few swift steps. He nervously looked at the Night Princess, lost his pace and shifted a haunted glance at Celestia, clearly not understanding what to do - ponies haven't got used to two ruling Princesses. “How longeth shall thee beest silent, guardeth?!” Answ'r us immediately!” The Princess of the Night elevated her voice, scowling dreadfully. “E-e... Yes, thisfals, Your... E-e... Your Highness!” Gathering himself up, the young guardian answered. “Sister, what did your Lieutenant do? Why is he alarming the garrison?” Luna turned her head to the senior Princess sharply. “We’ll find out soon.” She looked at the sister in answer calmingly. “Go back to your comrades, guardian.” She nodded to the pegasus. He, bowing shortly, took off and ran forward. “If this guard didn't exaggerate.” Tia continued, being alone with Luna. “Then I already know what has happened there. As I told you earlier, thestrals treat me... Without passion. If their commander really demanded my presence, then it's not a surprise, that Shining got angry and wants to give them a lesson.” “Like in the old times, huh?” Luna chuckled in answer sadly. “The night and day guards can’t stand each other.” “We don't need this damn “like in the old times”!” The Princess of the Sun reacted a bit sharply. “My hopes are high on this incident being the last of its kind.” Talking on elevated tones, echoing through spacious hallways, the Princesses heard long before they themselves were on the battlefield. Celestia hastened her pace. Near the gates that lead to the landing area, a total welter prevailed: a dozen of thestrals, easily recognized by the dark blue armor, were surrounded and left without breakaways by at least three dozens of guards. However, it didn't bother the bat-winged warriors at all: they stood firmly, and their commander dared to scream at the Shining Armor’s Lieutenants and at a bright red earthpony, that came to rescue, which was easily recognized as Rage Fire by the Princess of the Day. “... Shall the rage of the Sun incinerate you if you don't do it! Get out of the way, dough faced! We will find Queen Celestia ourselves if she doesn't want to come here and pay for her words!” “Princess Celestia!” Rage yelled at the thestrals’ commander wrathfully - at a bright blue mare with almost black mane and rare for their race bright green eyes. She just eyed the guard with a scornful gaze. “And watch your tongue speaking about Her Highness!” Shining added with authority. “Or what?” Thestral narrowed her eyes unkindly. “You will inform on us to your heads? Ah, yes, it already sleeps: it's dark, late...” She chuckled. “Maybe you’ll just cry?” “What a...” The red earthpony started to gasp from indignation. “I’ll just...” “WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?” Celestia’s Canterlot Voice roared, stomping the starting conflict in a moment. Guards, hesitating for a few seconds, hastily organized a life corridor for the Princess. Thestrals started to hiss, laying back their sensitive ears to head and looking at Tia with evilly gazes. Snowy alicorn bit a lip for a moment - didn't think about that... “Queen Celestia.” Thestrals’ commander acknowledged with badly hidden distaste in the voice, without even a polite nod. “Despite your infamy, we didn't except such a rottenness even from you. You know how we treat that, and you wrote a letter to our elders with such a hateful l!..” Thestral choked with words, looking somewhere to the right from the Princess of the Sun with far-eyes. “What lie?” Princess Luna, which just came up, asked her, stepping up from the back of her sister and now staying side by side with her. “A-a... Princess... Luna?” The bat-winged mare cheeped, losing all her warring spirit in a moment. Helmet, which she held on the crook of her left leg, fell onto the ground with a clank. After making a few shy steps towards a little bit surprised Princess of the Night, the thestral fell on her knees like a victim. After a second, the rest did the same. Celestia respectfully made a few steps backwards, leaving her sister in front. A silence hung on for a few long seconds: surprised Luna looked at this with all her eyes, trying to swallow lump in the throat. “S... Stand up...” The Princess of the Night said with a twitched voice. “Great Princess Luna! Is it... Is it really you?.." The night pony's eyes were shining from tears, she hardly stood up on wobbly legs. “We... We couldn't have even hoped.... We didn't trust it...” Mare’s voice flinched. “I let them down, abandoned them to my sister’s and other ponies’ fury... But they still love me...” Luna thought, helplessly looking at the crying from happiness thestral. After a few long seconds, she wiped her tears, coming closer to the Princess of the Night with awe, and now fell on her knees slowly and ceremonially. The others followed suit, swiftly lining up behind their commander’s back. “Empress! I, Dark Whisper, from the Star Cover wing, together with my warriors, vow to serve you in everything that your supreme will wants to impose. And let the Night be the witness of our vow!” Luna looked at the kneeing warriors of the night in prostration, having no clue what to do and how to react. “Our lifes are in your hooves, Empress.” Thestrals’ leaders stood up, dashing away her tears. “Rule. Your word is law.” The junior Princess looked back at sister helplessly. Celestia stood afield humbly, nodded cheerfully, giving Luna an understanding, that it's only her choice how to act further. The blue alicorn bit a lip for a moment and turned to Dark Whisper awaiting her orders wholeheartedly. Princess had no idea where and how to go - all the thoughts were washed out from head, leaving only incomprehension and hesitancy. She's been barely remembering about the night ponies during this time. She left them to be struck by a furious Queen. And they waited and loved her. Were ready to execute any order, any caprice... “Am I worthy of it?” Luna froze hesitantly, thinking nervously what to do. “Lieutenant Armor, Lieutenant Fire, you and your ponies are dismissed. Leave us.” Celestia ordered to her guard quietly, seemingly wanting to support her sister. It really got calmer without a dozen of stares. “Empress, may I speak?” Whisper broke the prolonged silence, following the leaving from the landing zone guards with a gaze “Yes?” Luna shuddered, thankful to the thestral for breaking this sticky shyness by her mere words. “Allow me to send runners to the elders, to spread the good word about your return?” “Fine.” Princess answered a little bit hesitatingly. The night pony nodded and went back to her warriors, and four of them took off soon after, vaporizing in the darkness soundlessly, caring on their wings the news: their Princess is really back home. While Whisper was giving orders, Celestia came closer to Luna. “You're nervous, Lu.” “I...” The Princess of the Night looked under her feet. “I let them down and... They still believe me... I’m not sure that...” “You have right to lead them now?” Tia ended for the hesitated sister. She nodded silently. Celestia raised a sad look at the group of night ponies. “Everyone makes mistakes, sister. Remember about yours, but not for them to drag you into the bottom, but to not repeat them again. You’ll manage it. Don't fear.” The senior Princess smiled and went aside, being followed by the returned thestral with a suspicious look. “You're tired after the journey, aren't you?” Cheered Luna addressed to Dark Whisper. And immediately swore at herself in mind: she had to ask it before the sending of the runners... “We don't need a serious rest, Empress!” She nodded with head. “We took wings not more than an hour and a half ago. All we need now is a little bit of food.” “Sister.” Luna turned around. “Is there any fish we can find in storages of the castle?” “No.” Celestia shook her head, cringing inside. Honestly, specific diet of thestrals, griffins and some other species, wasn't as exciting for her as for them, even though Princess managed to get rid of the opened disfavor to it. But how Luna still manages to treat killing of living creatures and eating their dead bodies so plainly - the Princess of the Sun doesn't understand even now. “Why?” Sister was surprised. “Wasn't it you, who kept a little supply for the griffons’ embassy?” “There's no griffons’ embassy in Equestria right now.” Celestia shook her head. “After the death of their last king around two hundred years ago and loss of some ancient artifact of their people, griffons lost their country. Now they live almost as separate tribes... There’s just no one there to send us ambassadors.” “I got it...” Luna prolonged. “Yfel ðafian nâteðæshwôn indrîfan... I mean, where we can find food?” Having the needle, she started to speak in an ancient dialect reflexively. “Empress, may I speak?” Thestral drew attention to herself. “I heed to you, Dark Whisper.” The Princess of the Night turned to her. “Thank you for your worry about us, Empress, but don't worry about that so much - we can get along with something more usual. Vegetables, fruits, mushrooms, pastry... Just without grass, please.” “Fine.” Alicorn nodded and turned to Tia. “I’ll ask to lay dinner in the small guest dining room.” The Princess of the Sun nodded even before Luna opened her mouth. “But first off...” Celestia came closer, falling on with the junior sister. “I’m happy to see, that even after all the past centuries, my sister has ponies, which love and cherish her.” The snowy alicorn addressed to the unfriendly-looking thestrals. “ I hope that following the recreation of the Night Guard, you will be the same tower of strength and defense, as you were in the old times. I also hope, that this will be the first step towards reunification of your people with other ponies. I’m happy to welcome you in the castle of Canterlot, children of the night.” Dark Whisper chuckled sceptically. Luna sighed quietly.
20. On The Wing!I, setting the bags straight for the last time, nodded to myself and opened the door, leaving the library. Morning cheers me with chirping of some birds, pleasant chill, and on the top of that - I’m going on my first training about flying! Yesterday, when visiting traumatologist, I got his approval on exercises - including flying - and immediately, as soon as I left the hospital, I started to learn it. I swiftly found some literature in the library, breaching through new grammar and asking Twilight about different moments from time to time, read methodology, read about set of exercises and rushed on the known furthest shore of the lake to try it! As the practice showed, it was a right choice to go to the lake. Falling from a high altitude is a very dangerous business, of course, but I didn't try it. But when falling from a small altitude - water is far more preferable than ground. And I fell often, yeah... Strangely enough - some body’s reflexes are still intact, even after so much time, but for a normal flight - it's not enough, I had to develop my own. And I did as I could. I realized quickly, that falling flat wise into the water from 3-ish meters is not what I'd call fun. Also, I learned that mare's udder is a very sensitive place... So I tried to fall with head down - not belly: it wasn't that painful with the head. After getting really exhausted on that training, I somehow managed to crawl to the library, only to be dragged out by Rarity half an hour later! Honestly, I almost sent her to hell, but remembered just in time, that I promised to accompany her in spa that evening. I had to peel myself off the wall, acting like everything is fine, tailing along the unicorn, glowing from enthusiasm, calming myself at the same time with the fact that, if I remember correctly, there’s a steam bath inside of the business... The earthpony sisters, working there - Lotus and Aloe - were bearing my presence with great difficulty at the start. They clearly didn't want to upset Rarity and lose business’ prestige, but feared me almost with panic - I had to reluctantly decline the offer to professionally clean my teeth to not make everything worse. But gradually, with my zingers and wholehearted support of my beautiful companion, spa-ponies relaxed a bit, calmed down and finally hit it out of the park, making my and unicorn's leisure excellent. At the start, I thought to go through only the steam bath, massage and comb out, but Rarity quickly forced me on a real spa-marathon with all these masks, aromatherapy baths and other extravagances. Honestly, I didn't resist much: I had neither energy, nor will - I just wanted to just fall already. In the result, I didn't regret my acquiescence: I don't care if these aromatic baths are nonsense, but I relaxed perfectly, leaving the business with the feeling of being born again. Muscles, buzzing from strain, finally rested with pleasant, fur glossed, hooves shined, feathers laid one to another, mane and tail were dressed in primitive, but pretty hairstyle. Generally, I thanked Rarity, which was glowing with happiness, wholeheartedly and sincerely. However, we almost quarreled because of “who pays?”... Generosity, with all her hooves, refused stubbornly and demanded categorically, that I must count this as a gift. I whistled from the price slightly - not a surprise: almost a complete list of services! - but I still demanded to take money in response and to not argue with me: my moral integrity couldn't allow me to take such big gifts from a barely know pony. In the end, to really not hurt Rarity, I had to step back, promising to her, that I will return the money when I suddenly find spare cash. What a stubborn mare. Meanwhile, I didn't even notice how I came. Tossing the already usual bags onto the grass and setting straight the ponytail on my head, I looked at the smooth surface of the lake with a long stare. Inha-ale - Exha-ale. Let’s go. I unfolded the wings and started the exercise. Executing it only for a third time, but it's not a difficult one, and Tia did her best on that memorable walk to make it unforgettable for a long time... But now, making moves almost reflexively, I could let my thoughts to easily slide from topic to topic without the distraction of remembering the right moves. Generally, last three days, except for yesterday, were fairly quiet and not rich for events. Except for the training and spa, I spent them in the library almost without leaving, training my skills of reading and writing - got a firm hate towards quills - and learned different things about the world around and myself. I must say that I learned a lot about myself. As it turned out, I thought on a savage mix of Equestrian and English languages. Moreover, it felt so natural, that I paid attention to that only when started to write and saw, that I write something wrong reflexively. The good thing was that no one was nearby and no one was interested in my scribbles. I burned the paper, just to be on the safe side, but I kept close the fact that I remember my native tongue. And if I want to make notes not for everyone's eyes - I’ll make them in a completely foreign language. Despite the fact that it’s now easier to read for me, I, as it turned out, have a very bad handwriting. No, I knew all the letters and almost all the words, but I built them by the rules of the ancient Equestrian grammar! Moreover, I had no reflex in writing at all! And writing with telekinesis, as it turned out, demanded a great skill: pull and pressing were poorly felt. In the result, I traced out letters slowly and sadly, cracking quills and making blots regularly. I’ll have the most exciting tasks in the near future - tackling the modern language and improving the handwriting. Good news didn't end on that: ponies use the duodecimal system! It was born in times out of memory, when races of ponies started to unify under one flag. The duodecimal system was a compromise between the quaternary numeral system of earthponies and unicorns, and the senary system of pegasi. The new system turned out to be better when counting big amounts, so it replaced the old ones just in one generation. However, on the practice, it wasn't that bad as the earth counterpart - the hexadecimal system, in which a mix of Arabic numbers and Latin letters were put in because of absence of letters and terminology, creating a mayhem. The long-ago created system of ponies had both symbols and names, so, on practice, it wasn't that worse than the good old decimal on Earth. Of course that I paid attention to magic as well - to the theoretical and practical one. Again, thanks Twilight for explaining unclear moments... From the theory I understood what “world spells” are: these were mentioned by the Devil himself - by the equalogist, and their more pompous name was “The Laws of the World”. In reality, what it is and how does it work was a mystery for ponies: all of it was just an established theory, but not a proved one. The point is that some effects, resembling some complex magic by their influence, but no one knows why it works and who creates it. The “Cover” spell was on that list, and it works on all rational and half-rational beings on the Equus. Except that, I discovered another thing and was rather surprised: the possibility of ponies, dragons and griffons to fly was on that list as well. It seems that they shouldn't be able to fly, but some magic allows them to. Hoofkenesis as well, but, as far as I could understand from very cloudy explanations, not all ponies agree with that, because it works only on rational beings, but The Laws of the World must work on the half-rational as well... Or something like that, if I have even understood it correctly and didn't lose the track with reality... Well, I got exhausted from it. On the practical lessons I finally understood how to work with unwatched objects by telekinesis. It went badly, but at least Twilight taught me how to make a ponytail. Except telekinesis, I started to try myself in creating magical power fields, but everything was very bad in that direction: I had neither the knowledge, nor the energy to make this happen, and what’s even worse - I had no power and control. To our general with Twilight regret, she couldn't help me with that. Yeah, Twilight... Moving away from her and accommodate in a hotel, as I planned in the first place, wasn't going to happen: people still lose their minds from fear, and unfortunately for me, all three owners of hotels in this small town were scared of me the most and tried to run away from me by hook or by crook. The first one, pegasus, was scared to death and panic because of my attempts to communicate with her, and I just didn't catch her. The second one, a unicorn, was not found by me: either her cutie mark is about invisibility or a sufficiently root cellar with a good supply of food... Generally, her building is closed on a weekend, report, maintenance day, lockdown and et cetera whenever I come. The third pony, as it seems, found out about my tries and swiftly backed up: he closed his business for two weeks and ran away to Vanhoover, and if I’m correct - to his family. So I had to stay in library and sleep on the ground, on which I came over to from this awful bed on the second night. Of course, not the most pleasant thing, but still better than a low, tight and short grating bed. Well, my plan “live alone” has failed... As well as my idea of giving a gift to Fluttershy - jeweler was from the same scared rank, God damn him... With the thought about pegasus, I remembered the recent market's visit, after which I went to Flutty. Yeah, what a great day it was... I remember, when on the way back I met Applejack: she heard from someone about “evil devil doing some things on the market”, found out, that I was heading to Fluttershy - with her unconscious body on the back - and rushed to handle everything. Fortunately, farmer, as opposed to her rainbow-maned boon friend, knew to think and then act. At least she didn't try to fight me straight off the reel, demanding explanations first, even though in a very crude tone. Crude enough for a desire to wipe her nose to appear, but not enough for this desire to be done. Talking politely with the stubborn earthpony, we were dissatisfied with each other and separated: she moved towards Fluttershy to check my words, and I moved towards Twilight to eat and sleep. Didn't make it - met Twilight herself and Pinkie, Rarity and Spike half-way. They - what a surprise - started to look for me because of the situation on the market as well. They felt sorry about the poor trader there, if you can believe it... You don't know a better fu... You found just the best person to feel sorry about! ... “Nightmare, but it was wrong!” The white unicorn exclaimed. “You basically robbed him! Only one bit!” “Auction is auction.” I moved with wings phlegmatically. “He was offered the price of a bit and asked if he had objections. There were none, that means he was fine with the price. That’s all” “Yeah, it could have been a surprise if he had had objections...” Twilight grumbled. “You just scared the wits out of him, how would he insist?” “It’s only his problem that he didn't do something about this.” I waved aside angrily. “In the end, Fluttershy didn't try to lower the price as well - did anyone stand up for her? No! She can't - her problems, isn't it? Let her continue to pay more for her shyness - no one cares! And she surely appears on this market more than once a month - and every time she gets robbed! If you, her old friends, don't want to help - I can! And I will how I used to! I will not look how my savior pays twelve coins for a something that costs two-three!” “TWELVE?!” Twilight and Pinkie got surprised in unison, Rarity couldn't even find words from indignation. “What a penny-father...” Spike even said, which has been quiet like a mouse after our meeting. “When you said that he overpriced, I thought four-five, maybe six... But twelve?” Twi shook her head. “It's beyond the lines even in rather expensive Canterlot, to say the least...” “How this rascal had even enough boldness to do such a rottenness?” Rarity finally transformed her outbreak into words. “Poor Fluttershy! She didn't even tell us about it! Oh... How could I have missed it?...” The white unicorn drooped. “But... When I was with her on the market - no one tried to raise prices for her...” “Forgive us, Night! We really-really didn't know about it! And Flutty was silent... As always.” Pinkie sighed. “It’s fine. I assume that he wouldn't dare to repeat such actions.” I smiled gloomily. “I understand why you did so, but... Wasn't there a way without scary threats?” The Princess’ student couldn't hold herself from lectures. “I could pass the word part and start to break legs immediately.” I laughed. “Don't make such jokes, please!” Rarity looked at me with dread, others supported her wordlessly. “Who said I’m joking?” I looked at the stylist thoughtfully. “Who touches Fluttershy will be touched by me. Touched so hard, that his bones will be for miles apart!” ... Well, we've talked... They even apologized for suspecting me in everything bad, even though I didn't understand why. They weren't hurling accusations right and left, spoke pretty calmly, worked it out. Pinkie also apologized that she went to get a cake and didn't come back, giving me, as an excuse, a box of donuts, that was very well accepted by me and eaten afterwards with a great pleasure. And after that, we split up: I, Twilight and her assistant moved towards library, Pinkie and Rarity went home. And in the end, Rarity invited me to the spa, which we did during the evening. Phew, that's end! I shook with my body and indolently moved back and forth, regaining breath and, yet again, just getting pleasure from the chill grass under hooves. Ending a circle, I stopped and turned towards the lake. Warmed up! Now let’s get to the main part: to flights! ... “A-a-a! F!...” Squash! I emerged to the surface swiftly and looked around, trying to understand in which way I have to swim. I didn't have time to lay back my right ear to head - now it's filled with water. And dumping it out from the straight ears isn't an easy task... Damn it, I was going good! Well, more or less... And on a turning, I felt a blow of wind from the left - and this is game over. Bastard! I can fly only in a straight line and during windless calm! And if the conditions change - especially if they change sharply - my ear can hear only “squash”, “plash” and “plop”! It was good when Tia was backing me up... I, finally on shoal, felt the bottom with legs and wandered tiredly towards the shore, sniffing petulantly and shaking head in futile attempts to get rid of water in the ear. Neck and face were covered with stray mane - hair tie, gathering it into a ponytail, drowned somewhere during another splashdown a couple of hours ago. I’m not sure I’ll be able to fly, but to swim - for sure! At least, there's an improvement over yesterday. Shaking sharply, I moved out from the water - bright surrounding sand was decorated with numerous black specks. Getting higher, I fell onto the grass with exhaustion, though not forgetting to unfold my wings. Now I won't fly until they dry a little: soaked feathers weighed like metal. I’m tired a bit, huh... How much am I drowning here? At least five hours, not less... Nah, I think I've had enough today. I’ll dry and go home. I want to devour as hell - just can't take this anymore: everything, that I thoughtfully brought with myself, was eaten a long ago... I turned over onto my back and, in order to get rid of water, tried to do a pose on wings - local pegasi can do even this. But exhausted whining limbs refused to hold me, and I, to my burning indignation, poked horn into the ground. “Damn it!” I commented gloomily the soil-covered end of horn with a brightly stand-out piece of sticky grass on it. God, these thin things can be washed out only by a brush! And the water is still in the ear... The next ten minutes I spent on: firstly, wandering belly deep in the water, trying to wash horn in the lake, and then - shaking my head rabidly, trying to return my full hearing. Fortunately, these attempts gave results, and I, moving happily with my restored and fully hearing ear, started to pack up for the way back. ... And still, even though I fly so bad now - it's still unspeakably cool! I can't even remember such enthusiasm in learning something before: something more willingly, something - with great difficulty, but now, going towards the library, I couldn't wait for the next day to come, when after a rest during night, I’ll come back to the shore of the lake, to unfold wings and take off after a short run! And who gives a heck if this flight is over after a minute or so in water! It's just a beginning, but sooner or later, I’d be able to fly properly! By steep and toilsome ways to the stars! I, squeezing eyes with pleasure, smiled to my enthusiastic thoughts cavernously, noting with the edge of mind someone's scream and hurriedly departing stomping. However, an unknown mare with her reaction just made my smile even wider. ... “Good day, Mare in the Moon!” Oddly known voice returned me to reality. I turned to it dazedly, seeing Scootaloo waving at me happily. E-em, I don't get it... Is there an occasion or something? We've been coming across with each other a few times in streets - and I wouldn't say that her behavior stood out from others. It was clear that she treats me without any serious dread and even greet me from time to time, but the pegasus had no desire to talk, to say the least. And now this loud, expressive greeting, like for a show... Of course! Like for a show! I looked around swiftly, spotting another three fillies: white unicorn near Scoot and a couple of earthponies - gray and pink, with a small diadem on the head. Tiara, if to be precise, which she was named after. Did this little one decide to show a powerful and invincible ally in the person of me to her enemies? Nice one, kid! Not sure if it would help, but the overall idea is good. I must enter into the spirit for sure. “A-a, hello, Scootaloo!” I waved with a wing and turned towards her. “How are you doing?” “E-ehm... Fine, miss!” She lost courage for a second, clearly not expecting such a reaction from me, but recovered swiftly. “Again you say “miss”!” I pictured dissatisfaction loudly. “Nightmare Moon or just Nightmare, how much do I have to remember you?” “Oops... Sorry, Nightmare Moon! I’ll try to not flounder anymore!” I came closer to the kid and extended my hoof. She hesitated for a second, but shyly dabbed it with hers. “A... And where are you going from?” Scoot chose to ask, trying to maintain a vision of a casual chat for the passive onlookers. “From the lake.” I waved with wing towards the reservoir. “Water is beautiful today.” “M-m... And, yeah... How is your health?” The little pegasus decided to ask quietly, between us only. “The bruise is almost healed, I have permissions to fly, so more or less fine.” “Are you... Are you still angry at me?” Kid shyly poked soil with a hoof. “Not at all.” I smiled with my lips and added loudly: “But I still remember your promise! And wait an exuberant sacrifice at Nightmare Night from you! Don't forget!” I winked at the lost pegasus. “Two buckets. With a hill!” I explained my thought quietly. “Of course!” She started to glow. “I won't!” I looked around hastily. So-o, it seems that the spectators liked our small show with Scootaloo: no unicorns, no earthponies - no one at all. Wait... Didn't we overdo it, did we? “Ops, where is Sweetie?” The young pony looked around as well. “You wanted to introduce us?” I twisted eyes at the interlocutor. “Ehm... I guess... Why not?” Kid hesitated a little, while looking around. “Sweetie! Sweetie Belle!” She called. “It seems that your friend wasn't filled with inspiration about me.” I chuckled. “The plan was good, but be careful: they can treat you as my devotee - you're risking to be not only without enemies, but without friends as well.” “What plan?” Scootaloo tried to imitate surprise. “To show enemies that you rub elbows with the Mare in the Moon. Why would you greet me so pointedly then?” “It was so obvious, wasn’t it?” Kid drooped. “Excuse me, I...” “Everything is fine.” I waved away the excuses. “I said that the plan was not bad. Just be cautious - don't let expenses overweigh profit.” “If these cocky smugs back off - they won't.” Scoot said firmly. “And I guess Sweetie will understand me if I tell her everything and introduce you to her.” “Well, may be. Okay, good luck.” I extended a hoof to the little pony, and this time, she immediately dabbed with hers. “Thank you, Nightmare Moon! Farewell!” Mare said goodbye. “And... You’re not as evil as they told you about in class at all!” She added after a moment. “Are you sure?” I looked at the kid narrowly. She nodded, taking a step back reflexively. “In any case - thanks for kind words, Scootaloo. Farewell.” Turning around, I moved towards the road. “Not evil”, heh... Just not evil to everyone, Scoot. “Sweetie, where are you? Sweetie Belle!” I heard behind my back: pegasus tried to find the escaped from me unicorn-friend. Nevertheless, I still liked this pony. Swift tongued, not from cowards. I hope her acquaintance with me won't hurt her... Smiling and shaking head to my thoughts, I continued my way towards library. I’ll eat, rest... What a great day, isn't!
21. The Invitation, That Cannot Be DeniedCrunch! “God damn you!!!” I, with open hatred, squashed the broken quill with telekinesis, tearing it into pieces. Twilight, already trying to be as inconspicuous as possible, moved another half step away from me cautiously. “Enough!!!” I whipped off a piece of paper from the table sharply, looked at the blurry disgraceful inkblot, and crumpled the paper mercilessly, tossing it into a growing pile beside a trash can right after the remains of the quill. “Twilight, pencil! And more paper!” “P-pencil?” The librarian asked nervously. “But... No, no one writes a letter with them! You can't!” I turned my head slowly and gazed at the unicorn. Why should I give a fuck about using a pencil, you stupid horse?! I said: “Pencil”! Get it and don't talk gibberish! “Don't... Care!” I said through teeth. “Pencil! Now!” I screamed, looking at the flustered unicorn point-blank. “F-fine, ok-kay, I got it.” She panted and hastened to find it. It’s surprising how sometimes usual problems can force you into angry state, if there are too much of them, and they shouldn't be here at all! And everything started pretty all right: I returned to the library, where, besides food and rest, a letter from Princess Celestia awaited me She invites me to drop in on her in Canterlot. Why - didn't say, she was only interesting in when to send the chariot, that will deliver me to the capital. This surprising “just checking” does mean trouble, in my opinion. Deciding, that the “when to send” question was more likely only rhetorical, as a tribute of politeness, I chose to not wait for the best and to show up to the Princess tomorrow, considering the fact that I don't have plans on the next day in any case. Now it's unclear if I even need them... Slight problem - I had to write a short answer. And on this “slight problem” everything has stopped. Maybe the stress played its part, maybe something else, but my awful skills of writing were stooping to a whole new low and now became negative. And this lavender smarty pants put in her two cents... Two bits, damn her, with her essential commands: “You don't write to a random person, but to HER! Lines flatter! Letters nicer! Addressing is not full in the header!” And, in the end, unsurprisingly, she did it: she drove me crazy. And during my last attempts to write something readable, she was sitting tightly, trying to not show up once again... Unicorn, returning after a few minutes, lowered down before me a clean sheet and graphite pencil wordlessly, and stood aside, casting a dirty look at me. “Thanks.” I said reflexively, taking the pencil and lifting it above the sheet. I thought for a little while about wording: pretty words and fancy dancing aren't the things I want to do, we can say "hello” to each other during the meeting. She asked when to send the chariot - this is what I’ll answer, nothing more. “I will be awaiting your chariot tomorrow, at eleven in morning, on the same ridge as the last time. Nightmare.” Now we're talking! “This is not done”, damn you... Quills, in terms of comfort, can't stand a chance against the pencil. Yeah, sometimes it was clear, that pencil lead break out onto the sheet - didn't watch over the weight - but everything, that had to be written, is written, and on the first try at last. However, the letters weren't that beautiful, and lines started to drift down in the end. And the style was rather oldish - I’m still bad at the new grammar. I can read it with pain and misery, but building sentences myself... I cringed. Okay, it would do with a glass of beer, I’m still learning. “Send it.” Folding the sheet four times and making the bend almost sharp with my hoof, I handed it over to gloomy Twi. She got the letter silently and went to kitchen, where Spike was running the show. I rose from the table, feeling, how pleasantly my sleeping muscles are straightening up after long sitting in one pose and looked at the leaving unicorn. “Twilight, listen...” She didn't turn around and stood still, pointing her left ear towards me. “Listen... Sorry about it.” I apologized rather awkwardly. Damned idiot... I could have stopped her essential directions, but no - I suffered, clenching teeth, until her condescending tone just got me dead. Didn't go well. Twi, standing for a few seconds, went forward wordlessly, without giving any reaction to me. She felt offended. Damn it. This day started so good... The sky annoys me with its brightness, blueness and small, low hanging clouds, looking especially artificial and childish today, and the painted Sun, motionlessly hanging at the horizon, hurt my eyes unpleasantly. I want... Damn, I don't know what I want! Don't want anything - everything just annoys me and drives me crazy. Especially all these plush horses with unnatural muzzles, occurring along the way! So good yesterday not only ended badly itself, but brought a night with it, which was even worse. I dreamed of home. Of summer house, if to be precise, where we had been working and then resting with the parents. And the fact that it was them I was able to understand only by circumstantial signs! I think I, at last, saw faces, heard voices... But after awakening, my memory had only mother's blue jacket with a fresh paint blot on a sleeve, father's old classic shoes, strangely mixing well with a dungarees, and the rattle of flame in the brazier, on which we barbecue after a heavy day... And bottomless sky, adorned with a beautiful sunset, on which heavy, endless thunderclouds were moving from the south, preparing to pour down at our house during the night like a solid water wall. It was so real, stunning... And then I woke up in this damned Equestria! With its plain sky, drawn clouds and... Stupid horses, that deliberately walk in the middle of a narrow street, not paying attention at all! Some white mare, with unnatural blue mane and tail, was slowly walking before me, not giving an absolute heck about the outside world, shaking her head rhythmically. Others ponies, seeing me, leaned against walls and fences and followed her with nervous stares. I pushed the slowpoke out of the way on the middle of the road angrily, and was finally able to hasten the pace. “Hey, what... A-a-a!” A resentful exclamation turned to a fearful scream behind my back. I, twitching an ear reflexively because of the sharp sound, hastened to get this stupid horse out of my head, getting back to the thoughts, joyless since the very morning. And of course, such a “great” morning couldn't be spent in silence and loneliness: I promised to arrive to Celestia in the letter exclusively today! Visit to the bosses - this is what I so fucking need! Slashing my hips with my own tale angrily and barely being able to not roar, I passed by the edge houses and finally left Ponyville, coming to the already known ridge nearby. I didn't have to wait the chariot: it was already there, with a pair of pegasi-guards. Nodding to the stallions shortly, which followed me with alert and anxious gazes, I got into the cart wordlessly. Ponies, exchanging glances, put their backs into in the same wordless manner, and, after a short run, took off, forcing me to yet again angrily think about unnaturalness of everything that's going on here. Damned dream! Why the hell do I need these soul-tearing memories now?! There’s no way back, so why reopen old wounds? Shit, it's so rotten and sickening for my soul... And this shitty brown flying dummy on the right constantly look back at me... He drives me mad, idiot! After another look back pegasus shivered, meeting with my unwinking stare. The chariot shook a bit. “Stop staring already! Look at the road! It’s not firewood that you're carrying here!” Elevating the voice, I roared at him evilly. Pegasus looked away hurriedly, pretending full concentration on the flight, and getting a sidelong glance from the mate. To get rid of heavy thoughts, I tried to pay attention on something else. Interesting, why Celestia called me? The letter was in her style - somewhat smooth invitation and zero specifics about the business itself. Considering absence of clear reasons, which couldn't have been said in the letter... Well, I guess that the reason will be barely good for me. Excellent. When you think, that this day is already the worst, it turns out, that you just don't know everything about it... The mood, that was already shitty from the beginning, started to drop down even more. When the chariot finally went for a landing, my state of mind was absolutely horrible. ... “Lieutenant Rage Fire." The bright red mare, with her mane and tail the color of flame, introduced herself shortly as I stepped off the chariot, which had landed and stood still after a short run. Her purple eyes looked at me unkindly and without any fear from under an officer helmet. “Follow me.” It sounded more like an order - not a request. The mare, not waiting for my reaction, turned around sharply and moved towards the gates. Putting down the desire to whack her withers with something heavy, I followed. We were moving around the halls silently. The mare ahead of me was making me angry with her stupid color, with clutter of shoes on stone of the floor, with barely audible creak of some link in the armor, with gazes, that she casts at me from time to time - with everything. It’s good that she's silent: her voice was high pitched, breaching into your brain, sounded like a circular saw against metal, and I would have lost my mind if she had been speaking... I looked aside from the pony, trying to calm down at least for a bit, examining the surroundings. It doesn't matter what Tia waits me there, toy or not, but snapping and saying, maybe even doing stupid things are not the best things to do right now. After all, what's so bad in this world? The fact that it’s not fucking mine! Everything is wrong here! There are no sunrises and no sunsets, the sky is plain, the clouds are toy, the citizens are plush and not serious! There are no clouds, going upward for kilometers, there are no widening clouds for dozens of kilometers, there are no fleecy clouds somewhere above, there are no huge thunderclouds, covering the sky as far as the eye can see, like a saturnine cap. And the ponies themselves are matching the Equestrian toy sky. Bright colors, huge eyes, small wings, stupid horns... Drawn world. Unreal. Fake. In which everyone actually loves, makes friends, hates. And why the heck should I care about it? I want to go home... I sighed through teeth with force. There’s no home anymore. At least I can build a new one here, in Equestria... But still... “Her Highness Princess Celestia is awaiting you in the garden.” My attendant's sharp voice brought me back. Rage nodded at folding doors shortly, turned around and moved on down the corridor wordlessly. I followed her with a long stare reflexively. Waking up and shaking head, when the pony disappeared at the turn, I opened the doors and found myself on a high front porch, leading in the already known garden with an arbor and grassy pathways. I found Princess right away: the white alicorn stood on a small glade and, as it seemed, was looking sharply right at the Sun. I stepped down from the porch and froze a little bit behind, waiting for her reaction. I didn't think about any words to start the dialog with, and the mood, as during this morning, was absolutely terrible... Need in talking with someone about something is completely out. Honestly - I wanted to get wasted... “Good day, Nightmare.” Princess turned to me after a few seconds. She looked too welcoming and calmly, not like the situation requires. Somehow, it angered me only more. “Hello.” I answered curtly, making a mask of indifference. “How was your flight to Canterlot?” Princess continued to beat around the bush with the same smile “Fine.” What’s the use of this questions, come on? Just spit it out, don't mess with my brains! “Hm...” Celestia scowled a bit on my default, stock response. “How it is going for you overall? What's your opinion about Ponyville?” “Settling in. More or less.” Damn it, just stop this bullshit!!! What’s the use of this vain talk?! I close my eyes and do a few deep inhales, trying to calm down. “Is everything right?” Exponent. How much of concern and delicacy in the voice... Why does she need it? “It is. Maybe you’ll just say why do you need me here?” “Nightmare.” Princess swept a reproachful gaze over me. “I can see, that something bothers you. Tell me what. Maybe I can help?” “Why do you need it...” I waved away angrily. “Just... Just a gross mood. I don't have any desire to talk talkings. Just get to the business already, if you can.” “I just wanted to cheer you up. Mood cannot be bad without a reason. However, if you don't want to talk about it - I won't bother you.” Alicorn sighed. Was it a necessity to say it in such a way, that now I feel like a complete idiot? “About the reason of my letter.” Celestia broke the short, but rather uncomfortable pause. “Unfortunately, it's far from a pleasant one both for you and me.” I casted an impatient glance at silent once again Princess. She looked at the Sun thoughtfully for a few seconds - didn't even narrow her eyes! - turned around and looked fixedly right in the eye. I flinched from the question, that Celestia asked in the next second. She knows. Heart skipped a beat.
22. DarknessLuna woke up from a nasty feeling of swelled wings. Opening eyes, the Princess of the Night surprisingly and perplexedly found herself lying on stone floor. She tried to unfold the swelled limbs, but unexpectedly, something prevented it... Alicorn looked at her body and froze in bewilderment and fleeting fear: wings were pressed to body with a wide metal hoop, that doesn't allow them to be unfolded. “What... What is going on?” Luna dropped in a voice woolly from sleep, looking around. What she saw, immediately destroyed any remains of dream: half-light was running rampart around, barely being driven off by a couple of torch aside, she was lying on dirty stone floor, and thick ribs of a prison cell were above her. Haunted by perplexity and bad feelings, Princess tried to light up a firefly to get a better look of surroundings, but nothing happened. Her magic doesn't react. Now it's a real fear for her. Luna leaped to feet - and almost fell: the fore pair was chained together by a short chain. With ever growing dread, alicorn sat on haunches and felt for a collar on the neck with her chained fore legs, and then - for a massive ring on the horn - suppressor of magic. “What is it... Why?...” Princess swallowed fitfully. In the almost palpable silence that hung around her, Luna could hear her heart beating loudly and frequently somewhere in her temples. “Is anypony here?” She called, more out of desire to dispel this pressing silence. The voice echoed under the stone. For a moment prisoner thought, that no one and nothing is here, she's been locked and left here... The coming panic was driven off by a pale blue reflection of someone's magic, that was playing on dark walls, and a rhythmic sound of steps. Princess sighed with relief. A hope emerged, that whoever came here, would explain the completely odd and frightening situation. However, when after a few endless seconds, an unknown pony emerged from a corner, Luna's heart skipped a bit: from the half-light, a pair of blue glowing eyes with tight vertical pupil looked at her fixedly. “Nightmare Moon...” The Princess of the Night panted in a barely audible and shocked voice. Black alicorn, without her usual armor, was almost invisible in the darkness, creating a gloom feeling of soaring in the air eyes and horn, on which a small magic firefly was glowing palely, barely driving away the thick darkness around its owner. “You have woken up, traitor?” She asked chilly, coming closer to the cell. Luna looked at the floor dismally. After what she had done with Nightmare on the Moon, it was silly to think for a better attitude. Biting words of Nightmare spoke inside with filthy and bitter realization, that the black mare really has reason to call her, Princess Luna, in that manner. “Hello, Nightmare.” Lifting head, the prisoner greeted quietly. No matter how somber and nervous the situation is, but she always gave a chance to finally talk to the one who was born from the dark side of Luna herself and... Beg for mercy for the horrible mistake. “You're here to talk with me?” “There was no point in talking with you even before, and now, after what happened... No.” The owner of snake eyes shook head. “To execute you.” She ended serenely. “T-to execute?!” The Princess of the Night exclaimed out, springing and backing away from the bars in one move. A shiver ran through her body. All thoughts about talking were forgotten in a moment. It just doesn't make sense... However, what is to be expected from Nightmare Moon then? But... How did she kidnap her, Luna, from Canterlot? “Or you would say “for nothing”?” She cocked her head to the side. “After what you have done... I’ll make sure that your death is as miserable as your useless life!” “Sister won't leave me in trouble, monster!” Luna pursed mouth firmly. “She will come to me, and you will be sent back to the Moon for daring to imprison me!” The Princess of the Night eyed her enemy from head to foot with a heavy stare. Tia shouldn't have trusted this monster! It seems, she was only pretending, awaiting for the best moment to strike. And, when it came, decided to start with vengeance. “No one will relieve you, pathetic traitor!” She narrowed her eyes dangerously. “Celestia knows perfectly well, that you're here and will die soon. And she will do nothing to help you.” Depressing the voice, Nightmare Moon almost whispered and smiled evilly. “You're lying!” Luna yelled. But a chill ran inside of her for a moment from the glimpse thought, that her kidnapper can also be honest. “Tia will never do that!” Black alicorn merely chuckled in answer, casting a gaze at the Princess of the Night, that meant satisfaction and slight disgust. Luna, in her turn, smiled, hearing the coming silent steps and seeing golden light of her sister’s magic behind the Nightmare's back, playing on the stone walls: its warm sunny shade could be distinguished by Luna from a thousand. Black alicorn, following the prisoner's gaze, turned around, and after a few seconds, Princess Celestia came inside, lightening her way with magic light. “Sister, you're here!” Luna exclaimed with an unbelievable relief. “Your Majesty.” Nightmare emphasized a bow calmly. “Nightmare Moon.” The Princess of the Sun answered with a nod, not paying attention to her little sister at all. Something is really wrong. Captured alicorn shivered, thinking again about her dark reflection's words - it could be truth. “Everything is ready. Execution is tomorrow, at the dawn, if you don't want to do it in other time.” Black alicorn reported. “Came to say farewells?” She asked tonelessly after a short pause. “Yes, almost.” Celestia nodded. “I want to look in the traitor's eyes, who did this.” She nodded in the way she came from meaningfully. “Equestria will not forget this deed for a long time.” “W-what deed? What are you talking about, sister?” Luna looked at the Princess of the Sun hauntingly, barely holding tears after her words. “What deed?! And after all that happened you still have the boldness to pretend that nothing happened, beast?! Don't dare to call me your sister! I don't want to know you anymore!” She said through teeth quietly, casting a furious frozen stare at the blue alicorn from under the brows. Junior Princess shivered, like from a punch, and sat on the dirty floor limply - legs refused to stand. No-no-no, it... It's all false! It's a mistake! Tia couldn't... She just... Just made wrong conclusions, yes! Something happened, an evidence pointed at her, Luna, and sister made a wrong conclusion out of it! She just made a mistake! “My only mistake is that I trusted you!” The Princess of the Day said through teeth with the same icy voice: the junior alicorn didn't notice - she said the last words aloud. “W-what happened, Tia? I really don't remember, I swear! Tell me! Please!” Luna looked steadily at the white mare, which, as it looked like, gazed apathetically through her. Tears from the prisoner's eyes were rolling down by themselves. “Really, don't remember?” Celestia slurred indifferently, neither changing her pose nor face. “Really! I understand nothing and cannot remember anything! Tia, I beg you...” “Hm...” The Princess of the Sun swept a gaze over Luna and turned to the black mare, standing aside and looking at everything wordlessly. “Nightmare, I changed my mind. Go up and call off the preparations for the execution.” “But...” She looked dazedly at the white alicorn. “Go!” Celestia repeated forcefully. “E-e... Yes, Your Highness.” Hesitating a bit, Nightmare Moon answered at last and after shaking head with dissatisfaction, moved to the exit. Luna dashed away her tears with the tied fore legs awkwardly. Whatever happened, it seemed, that her situation was not hopeless after all. “So it turned out that you don't remember what you have done?” Following Nightmare with a gaze, Tia turned to the Princess of the Night. White alicorn's voice was still dead and chill. “No, I don't.” She nodded, looking at her sister with a hope: now there’s a chance to puzzle everything out, to prove Celly, that this is just a huge misunderstanding, a mistake! “Nothing at all?” The Princess of the Day specified with the same dispassionate, a little bit scary voice. “At all.” “What a shame.” Tia dropped with some cracked voice. She turned away from the cell, came closer to one of two burning torches on the wall and fixed eyes into its flame. “It’s nothing, I know how to help you remember.” White alicorn again returned to the dead chill tone. Her horn shined, creating a bubble of magical shield around the torch. Luna looked in awe as the flame slowly died, left without air. “How?” Luna dragged her gaze away from the torch, when it died out completely. Something was scary in this sister’s deed. Celestia kept silent, going to the second, the last burning torch instead and choking it with the same shield in the same softly manner. The only source of light left was the firefly at the end of white mare's horn. Luna narrowly looked at her, trying to get rid of the screaming feeling of anxiety. “Tia, what are you doing?” The nervous Princess of the Night gave in. Celestia ignored the question, coming to the cell closer. Luna shivered from meeting sister’s eyes with a blank stare. “Tia, tell me, what happened?” The blue mare overcame her fear. “I must know!” “Even on the edge of your own grave you’re trying to wriggle and turn the tables! Insisting, that you, allegedly, remember nothing!” Celestia said surprisingly evilly. Indifference in her eyes gave way to disdain. “But I...” Luna was stunned. “Silence! I've had enough of your lies!” Enraged Princess elevated her voice. “For your crime and these pathetic attempts to get away with that, there's your punishment: I’ll left you here alone, in complete darkness and silence! Maybe if nothing disturbs you anymore, you will remember, what you've done.” Princess Celestia ended the sentence with bitter sarcasm. Luna looked at her with open wide eyes and couldn't say a word because of the fear, that chained her. White mare turned away and slowly moved to the exit. “Tia...” The junior alicorn panted with strained voice. “Goodbye, Luna.” She said with cracked voice, stopping and barely managing to not turn back. “Goodbye forever.” Dealing with herself, Celestia said louder and again moved towards exit with decisive pace. “Tia, wait! I said truth to you!” Luna panicked. “Don't leave! Please!” The Princess of the Sun turned round the corner, leaving the room in darkness - only reflections of light at the turn allowed to see at least something. “Tia! No! I beg you! Come back!” Luna looked at the light, fading on the corridor's walls with fear. And shortly after, even these reflections were gone, leaving the dungeon and its prisoner in outer darkness. “SISTER, DON'T LEAVE ME! PLEASE! I BEG YOU!” Luna screamed desperately, straining voice, behind barely audible steps. Tears were pouring down her face, and the heart was getting slowly enveloped by primal fear. A door silently clanked far off, cutting steps’ sound. Luna was left alone. Until her dying day.
23. A Guess“NO-O-O!” Own scream teared the throat, the Princess of the Night opened wide her eyes and, trying to brokenly inhale, started to cough. Heart beat in the temples, giving painful kicks in head, tears were pouring down the face, the breath is lost. “It... Was a dream?” Luna sighed huskily, still trying to recover herself. Neck was unpleasantly chilled by the sticky wet mane, throat was sore, headache was rampant. Across the whole body, pressing the awkwardly swelled wings, the cover became a wet rag, fore legs were tangled in the balled sheet. Tired Princess, drilling her way through out of the bed clothing, stood up on wobbly legs and went to a window slowly. Behind draperies, spread with a sharp rush, the Moon was glowing on the sky. Behind the door a pat of teleportation and fast-paced steps were heard, and after a few moments, Celestia came into the room in a rush, driving away the half-light with the golden warm light of her magic. Luna shivered, unsure in what scared her more: the chill draft across her whole wet fur or the memories from the nightmare, which were brought by the plain magical light that drove away the darkness and reflected from the walls. “Luna, are you alright?” Tia examined sister worriedly. She twitched a wing nervously, not knowing what to answer. “You're okay, Lulu. Everything is good. I’m here, I’m close. Everything is good.” Junior Princess flinched, when Tia hugged her lovingly. “Guards, that were standing by your chambers, reported, that you were calling me. Calling in such a manner, that blood turns to ice! What happened, sister? What can I do for you?” “I... I don't know.” Luna panted in answer on both questions at once. She was still shivering from the memories. Celestia hugged her sister tighter for a moment, then stepped away, breaking the hug. Anxious and unrest were in the senior sister’s pink eyes. “Maybe we should continue our talk in my room?” The junior Princess looked around, stopping gaze at the scattered bed and answered with a shy nod. “Then close your eyes.” Tia pressed to her sister, and her horn started to glow brighter. Blue alicorn put her eyes together obediently, and in the next moment, a flash stroke through them, ears became clogged after height discontinuity. Being on the place, Celestia immediately found a fluffy plaid, in which Luna wrapped herself in with thankfulness: it became warmer and more cosily right away. Laying her sister down into a huge bed, Tia settled nearby, hugging sister with a wing. “How are you, Lu? What happened?” The Princess of the Day looked at still shivering Luna with worry and carefully put away the hair that sticked to her face, at which she, as it seems, didn't pay attention at all. Blue alicorn smiled faintly, looking at sister thankfully. Princesses were laying silent for some time, hugging each other. Luna clearly needed a rest, so Tia didn't rush forth, stroking her sister’s clotted mane slowly and awaiting an answer with patience. “I...” The Princess of the Night finally broke the silence with a sigh. “I had an awful nightmare, Tia.” “A nightmare?” The senior sister asked dazedly. “I had a guess, but... You're the ruler of dreams! How is it possible?” “I don't know.” Luna shook her head tiredly. “But I just couldn't manipulate this dream or influence it: I didn't even know, that it was a dream! Everything was so real...” The junior Princess droop head onto the bad limply and stared into a wall with unfocused eyes. Celestia, hugging sister tighter, mused. Long ago, even a few years before their quarrel, Luna found an old diary of some dead magician, who described the dream-walking and magic of dreams. Desiring the recognition by the subjects and from the senior sister, feeling, that this knowledge is a part of her talent, the Princess of the Night basically had dove into them, trying to examine and know everything as fast as she can. And even knowing the basics only, Luna effectively became the rightful owner of the Kingdom of Dreams - no one could go up against the alicorn, which talents were the dreams themselves. As sister told, after that, she had dreams as a rare occasion. And even if they came, nothing could fooled her: she knew clearly where dream ends and reality begins. But it was hard to get into the dream-walking even for Luna and her talent: it took her more than a year before her first attempts turned into tangible results! Was it hard for the back then Queen Celestia to cheer her little sister up at least with words? But she just waved away... “Yeah, okay, good that it's interesting for you. Just don't sit far into the night: there’s an important meeting tomorrow morning, and you should be there!” Tia sighed. Getting zero recognition from the sister, Luna swiftly lost interest in defending ponies from nightmares. And when she noticed, that after two months of hard labor and constant sleeplessness, no pony started to respect her more... Crushed and exhausted, she came to Tia again for support, and again - nothing. Queen, which, allegedly, never had nightmares in her life, did not take the words serious again... “On the bright side, in the next three-four centuries after Lu's banishment, I've seen all kinds of nightmares.” Celestia chuckled sadly. At one moment she even decided to learn the magic of dreams herself, but after seven years of attempts - there were no gains at all! Not having talent to catch the needed feeling, to guide her magic in the way it had to be done, wasn't possible. In the end, trying everything that her mind had come about, the Princess of the Sun admitted her failure and stopped it. “Tia.” The Princess of the Sun was brought back from the memories by a shy voice of sister. “Did... Did you really forgive me?” “I did, and I did it a long ago, Lu.” I don't bear a grudge against you - if it's important to know for you.” Luna, sighing heavily, smiled wanly, but darkened in the same moment again. “Yes, I know. Sorry. Just... You know it, dreams - especially nightmares - don't appear just because and...” The junior Princess hesitated. “You've seen a dream of me, not forgiving you.” Celestia realized and looked at sister with sympathy. “Yes.” Luna drooped. “And... Left me alone.” Tia wanted to say something, but interlocutor waved with a hoof, stopping her. “It all started with me, waking up from a feeling of heavily swelled wings... ... Celestia, sighing barely audible, covered her poor sister with a blanket and went out of the bedroom quietly. Luna paraphrased her scary dream in details, bursting into tears at the end. Tia was able to somehow calm her down only after half an hour, after which Lu fell asleep right on her hooves. Leaving sister in such a moment was something like a betrayal for the Princess of the Sun, but clocks already were showing eight and a little bit in the morning, and the Moon was still shining in the sky... And these deputies with ministers have proved themselves not the best ones during the past vacation, messing things up in just a week - it just cannot be postponed. Discord's job... Tia, sweeping the last sad gaze across sleeping sister, accurately closed the door behind her and, leaving her chambers, moved towards the Sun Tower - the night is too long already... “And here I am, Luna is left alone... As she saw in the dream.” Princess, walking down the hallway, was struck by this thought out of the blue. Without making the next step, Tia immediately turned around and, almost galloping, ran back. “Find and invite my secretary here, please.” Stopping at a post near the enter of her lair, Princess addressed to a guard. “Consider it done, Your Highness!” Pegasus stood at rigid attention for a moment and rushed forth. Entering, the first thing Celestia did was popping into the bedroom - sister cuddled and was sleeping peacefully. Tucking the blanket in, Princess left to the receiving room and went closer to a window: she can raise the Sun even here, after all... *** Finding herself in a situation, that she's watching somewhere through the sheet for already a couple of minutes, while not seeing what’s written on it, Celestia put the letter aside and rubbed her temples by hooves with a sigh. Princess hoped she could at least deal with the mail before her sister woke up and then, after talking to her and making sure Luna was okay, she could go to her office and do something more complicated and serious there than sorting out letters, but... Tia stood up and, going back and forth across the room, went closer to the window. Work was clearly not going well: thoughts always went back to Luna and her nightmare, that she saw. What could trigger it, what stress of sister turned into this terror? Alicorn rubbed forehead discontentedly. Something in all that mess wasn't right, some vague thought was at the edge of the mind. It's strange in general, that the Princess of the Night, the ruler of dreams and defender of ponies from nightmares, could have seen a nightmare herself. Sometime ago, Luna described how it all works. Nightmare is an energetic parasite, feeding itself by negative emotions of the sleeper, and who can trigger them with no outside help. But it cannot be triggered out of the blue by the parasite: the prey should already be in an unstable, nervous state of mind, and the stronger pony's emotional stress - the easier for the parasite to drag them onto the surface, converting it into dreadful dreams. But the most important, as sister said, is that no one, even the most full-fed and strong nightmare isn't a fight for an alicorn, who even barely knows dream-walking... But only if you can see it: realize, that it's a dream, not reality. But Luna, by her words, realized, that it’s a dream only when she woke up... The ruler of dreams didn't understand, that she was sleeping? It's even a bigger nonsense than the Sun, which revolves around the Equus by itself, as small number of sectarians from “Free Equestria”, which are for the overthrow of the “tyranny of the lying alicorns”, says and believes. What could have changed, why sister didn't recognize the dream? Could the still not healed magical insufficiency influence Luna? No, hardly... It could have intervened during their the day before yesterday attempt to get into the reality of dreams, since it badly affects specifically the complex and energy-consuming magic. So badly, that even a focusing ritual, designed to up the efficiency of a wizard in both control and energy consumption, couldn't help Luna. But even so, not allowing to simply understand where a dream ends and where it doesn't, the magical insufficiency clearly could not make such an effect... Celestia went around the room again, nervously trying to understand what she misses. Looking into the bedroom simultaneously, Princess noted, that her sister, during the dream, got rid of the blanket again, and now, curling, helplessly trying to protect herself from cold with wings. “Oh, Wuna.” Tia couldn't hold a short smile, and, entering the bedroom quietly, took up the plaid to again cover the restless Princess of the Night... To froze in the next moment, without executing the action, examining the pictured crescent on a black cloud on the blue alicorn's hip instead with a nervous scowl. “Nightmare has the same, but with purple...” Celestia remembered the talk with the Mare in the Moon about the cutie marks. Tia, getting back to reality, followed some multicolored bug with a gaze reflexively, flying by before her nose loudly and settling itself down onto a big bright yellow flower. Formerly, the palace garden was barely attended by her, but now, after two weeks, the Princess of the Sun noticed, that there’s nothing better for thoughts. And there were some... She still couldn't make a final solution what to do: what happened yesterday with sister and own following guesses still weren't giving rest. What could it mean? Idea, that came into head, was savage: could Luna lost her talent to the dream magic at all? Could the Elements somehow transfer it to Nightmare during the division instead? Nightmare Moon, controlling the dream magic. It was... Celestia rubbed her forehead worriedly. It's a scary thought - what can do someone with these abilities, who doesn't have a good will? The worst of all - Princess just couldn't leave this idea. However, Tia didn't see strong and definitive arguments for that theory either. One thing remains: invite the Mare in the Moon to castle and here, during a private meeting, try to confirm or deny this unusual and scary thought: Nightmare Moon - the ruler of the Kingdom of Dreams. Fortunately, even surprisingly, she gave her agreement to meet already today, and the chariot will deliver her very soon. Princess sighed. In yesterday’s letter she didn't explain the reason of this emergency invitation to the Mare in the Moon. It wasn't right, but... What if this nightmare was made by her hooves? Then she could escape and hide. Or opposite - attack. Or... Celestia fixed eyes at the Sun, thoughtfully examining its surface, intolerably bright for anyone else. And she still couldn't think, that it was Nightmare - by the own experience of talking, in the student's letters, she wasn't the kindest and best person, but she didn't have desire to harm pony, to conquer, to enslave... But it cannot be tossed out entirely either way: she could have done this just from personal hatred towards Luna. And if so - will do again... In that case, Nightmare should be stopped. But even if this crazy theory is right... Bad dream may not be Nightmare's deed. And in that case everything goes even harder: there wouldn't be reasons to punish and restrict her. She didn't have desire to do so, but if she earned access to the magic of dreams, didn't use it for creating the nightmare, then... Then what to do? Keep it quiet from her, forbid its usage just because of concerns? Celestia sniffed angrily: the idea was extremely ugly and disgusting. Absolutely unacceptable! Then... Teach and guide her? But how? Even the Princess of the Sun herself couldn't do much in the magic of dreams, even though she still remembers a bit of theory. Magician's diary, which was used by Luna as a textbook, is lost. Sister herself... No, even if she lost this power, she didn't lose her experience and knowledge and surely would use it after the recovery, but... Meeting with Nightmare cannot be a good one. Celestia sighed tiredly. In any case, all these thoughts are not well-timed - she has to find out if Nightmare is even involved in this or not. Princess fixed her eyes on the Sun again and, closing eyes, focused, guiding magic into her horn. What she's going to do was hardly honest - this is why it became even more unpleasant in the soul. Barely noticeable dizziness passed off swiftly - the spell is active. Now outright lying will not be unseen... Tia cringed: it didn't matter how much she tried to persuade herself about necessity of such a step, but the feeling of personal dishonest during usage of this possibility never left her. However, this is the only way to find out everything, asking only one question... The door silently banged behind her back, shoes started to clatter on the stairs like metal. Princess slowly turned around, meeting a heavy gaze from turquoise eyes. High pitched and nervous, like a string, the Mare in the Moon was looking at her expectantly, slashing her hips with the tail nervously, clearly awaiting nothing good from the invitation. “Good day, Nightmare.” Tia smiled, turning to the black alicorn. Smile looked a little bit forced. “Hello.” She replied with a slightly cracked voice, clearly trying to not show her worriment. Talk is excepted to be not an easy one... "How was your flight to Canterlot?” Princess tried to slightly cut the tension with a relatively standard question. “Fine.” Guest replied in a monosyllabic tone, and it seemed, that she got strained even more. “Hm...” Celestia scowled a little. She didn't know Nightmare well, but, as she could judge, this stiff behavior is not a standard one for her. “How it is going for you overall? What's your opinion about Ponyville?” Princess tired to get the black alicorn on the path of talking once again. “Settling in. More or less.” Concerning answers in a monosyllabic tone were spoken once again. Meeting the Mare in the Moon's gaze for a moment, Tia reflexively shivered from the flaming annoyance and heavy anxiety. In the next second she closed her eyes, trying to covertly make a few deep inhales, clearly for calming purposes. What happened? Maybe she's nervous because the dream is made by her hooves, or maybe the reason is different? “Is everything right?” Celestia asked, not counting on getting a direct answer. Nightmare cringed for a moment, as this question was unpleasant for her. “It is. Maybe you’ll just say why do you need me here?” She answered sharply - even evilly. Something did happen. She surely needs help. “Nightmare.” Tia addressed to her after a short pause. “I can see, that something bothers you. Tell me what. Maybe I can help?” “Why do you need it...” Black alicorn waved away angrily, causing a short twinge of sympathy from the Princess of the Sun. Maybe she's nervous, because she doesn't wait for anything good... As always... “Just... Just a gross mood. I don't have any desire to talk talkings. Just get to the business already, if you can.” “I just wanted to cheer you up. Mood cannot be bad without a reason. However, if you don't want to talk about it - I won't bother you.” Nightmare really wasn't happy about the perspective of having a conversation. Knowing, how hard it’s for her to believe in someone else’s benevolence, it would have been a mistake to persuade her to open... Celestia sighed. “About the reason of my letter...” Princess continued. “Unfortunately, it's far from a pleasant one both for you and me.” Stopping, Tia looked at the Sun. It’s time to get down to bedrock, but didn't want to do this. It was hard to get even a bit of trust from the Mare in the Moon, and lose it because of today’s questions is very easy and simple... But there was no other way to find out her involvement in the sister’s dream. Making decision, Princess Celestia lowered eyes and narrowly looked in the guest’s ones. “Nightmare, answer please: what do you know about the world of dreams?” Nightmare shivered, like from a strike, and panic flashed in her eyes, forcing out every other feeling. Is she really?... What a shame...
24. Bladetalk“Nightmare, what do you know about the world of dreams?” How she?! She is!... From?.. Fucking shit! Luna!!! This blue scumbag can walk in others’ dreams! She saw everything! And, of course, ratted out to the sister, that I’m not Nightmare! Letter, of course, came before today’s dream, but dreams are remembered not often: I could have dreamed about it earlier - two days ago, for instance - but I didn't remember it... Or it could be washed out from the memory for early concerns to not appear! I didn't remember the previous dream, didn't recognize its danger and just calmly waited for an extermination notification, relieving the Princesses from the need to chase me in forests and gorges... “Nightmare?” Celestia called me. I shivered from surprise and got back to reality. Princess barely narrowed her pink eyes and fixed gaze on me. Fuck this, I wouldn't give up that easily! But if there would be a fight, I won't be able to fight back, but if Tia still talks... “Just odd question...” I shrugged with wings and cringed in thought: voice is cracking, and the gesture was clearly factitious. You don't have to be a thousand year old alicorn to notice it... Damn it! “You're nervous.” Princess marked plainly. “What's scary in my “odd” question?” “Well... World of dreams is your sister’s business, I guess.” I hummed skittishly, trying to get rid of the feeling, that she's getting me against the wall. “I bet you know even more about it than I do.” “Nightmare, give an answer, please. What do you know about world of dreams?” Celestia's voice timbre sort of didn't change, but it became colder in the garden instantly. It would have been better if she had just screamed at me, than... Than this. I stepped back reflexively. The feeling was the same as being guided towards a tank gun with your face. “N... Not a lot.” I stumbled, swallowing lump in the throat with force. “World of dreams is a Luna's estate. I think, that she can see someone else's dreams through it and influence it. And also she has some magic of dreams, that, as far as I’m aware, tied with this world. Or it doesn't?” I rubbed my forehead. “I don't know for sure. Maybe I even got some knowledge from your sister, but I have to dive into the memory and look for it there. Don't remember anything more.” Finding myself in a nervous digging by a hoof, I froze by force of will, trying to calm down. She asked, “What do you know about the world of dreams?” Here's my answer. Nothing scary at all, just a question. She didn't ask head on: “Who the hell are you, mug?” And, yeah... “Dive into the memory... Unusual word collocation. You didn't mean just memories, right?” Princess asked thoughtfully. “Can I say nothing?” I glanced askance at Tia. Alicorn, rewarding me with a heavy gaze, shook head. Tear you apart and glue together out of whack! Interlocutor's ear shivered. I hope this was a mosquito - not me, saying it loudly... “You see, Princess...” I moved towards the path as if it was a reflex. It was easier to think. Alicorn followed me, joining nearly. ‘Memory about what had been of me before... Returning here - it is not just memory. I just cannot simply remember it like: “How it was? Ah, yes...” If I try - it sucks me in, like a whirlpool. I don't just remember it - I live through it again, you know? Everything, with every detail - every move, every feeling, every thought and emotion! Like for the first time... And I can barely can disengage myself from it. I tried... So I can remember a massive amount of skills, that were available for me and Luna before... And this is why I won't do it. After some memories from there, it's hard to push myself to live further. Honestly - erase it without a trace left...” “And you, to remember something, live through the Moon again and again... Oh... I... Sorry about it.” Princess drooped. “When in doubt leave it out.” I muttered gloomily in answer. We were going further silently for some time. I don't know what Tia was thinking about, but I just moved my legs thoughtlessly. The morning anger has ended, leaving unfulfilled dreams, meaningless regrets and stupid apathy after itself. I don't even know now why I was scared when Tia asked me the question: even if she decides, that I am some otherworldly garbage, taking over someone else's bodies, and vaporizes me... It’s a nice day to kick off. “So there's not a lot you know about the world of dreams?” Tia's voice brought me back into reality. “Now.” I marked with voice. “Not a lot. And generally, if put all my knowledge at the table - there wouldn't be much of them. The thing is, an instrument, whose task is to fight you, hadn't had to know a lot.” I grinned sourly. “So your dearest sister wasn't in a hurry to spread the word about it. Finding it out by the remnants of her memory did not succeed then, and I won't even try now.” And yeah, Luna definitely would explain the magic of dreams to Nightmare, keep saying. After all, then she might not have allowed herself to be abandoned. Without it - a precise stab in the back, without even a chance to survive it... “So you don't know how to enter the world of dreams either?” Lifting head, Princess muttered semi interrogatively, after examining her fore legs with a gaze beforehand. “No. But you know, I would like to.” I chuckled sadly. However, despite the descended indifferent, it's a little bit easier on my chest: it seems that the reason of my invitation wasn't in my dreams. “May I inquire why? To revenge Luna, isn't it?” Tia narrowed her eyes. “To sleep without dreams myself for the starters...” I cringed. “So the of your bad mood was a nightmare?” Princess prolonged thoughtfully, slowing the pace for a second. “You could say that. I dreamed... I dreamed about something from the past.” I muttered reluctantly. Some plain and unnatural sky above on contrast with again appearing sky of my own world before my eyes created another flash of bitterness. I scraped with my teeth and hastened to look down. Damn it, why did I remember it again... “I’m sorry for my acridity, Nightmare.” Princess smiled guiltily. “I shouldn't have pumped on you, but... I should check, that Luna's nightmares aren't your fault.” “Princess of dreams saw a nightmare? What an irony.” I couldn't hold a chuckle. “Well, I’m happy for her." “Nightmare.” Princess looked at me harshly, puckering up mouth. “Sorry.” I slurred indifferently. Celestia sighed. We ended a circle around the garden in silence. “You called yourself “a Luna's instrument.” Princess broke the silence after a few minutes. “Let me explain that you're not.” I hummed in answer emphatically . Go ahead. Luna somehow created the Nightmare’s personality, adding all the negative she felt towards Celestia herself. This new personality supported Princess in her loneliness, in the desire to get rid of Tia - in everything, that one can imagine. But it wasn't enough for a victory... After four centuries of attempts to create something together... During which Luna decided, that Nightmare is useless and, after finding a gap herself, just left the already formed personality alone, dooming it on a fate that worse than death. Used and tossed out. Like... An instrument, yes. Try to prove me wrong, Tia. I’ll laugh. “Luna... Made a mistake, Nightmare. She told me, that in some moment, a thought appeared in her head, that you’re... A spirit. An evil spirit, which captured part of her mind and demands blood and destruction. It’s astonishing how it fits well with the official representation of the events...” Celestia tried to explain confusedly, with unusual for her uncertainty. “Yeah. The fact that she made a mistake is, of course, a game changer.” I commented plainly. “She was afraid, Nightmare. Afraid of you, and, most importantly, herself.” Tia sighed, drilling the path, that lies beneath our legs, with a gloomy stare. “Decided, that weakness of her character, her hatred and jealousy created a real child of darkness, which would never allow her to forgive me, even when she herself did that already. She was afraid of you, harming me, and wanted to protect me.” “This is why she betrayed me and withdrew, leaving everything on a lady Luck's choice.” I hummed gloomily. “It doesn't seem that her "brightest” idea helped you during our second meeting...” I chuckled sadly at the appeared thought. “It’s funny that in the result, as it seems, I wasn't the only one who got a beating, but you as well, even though in an indirect way. But even after being on the Sun yourself, you still decided to trust me. This is what I don't understand the most.” Celestia looked at me with a thoughtful gaze and sighed. “What is wrong with trust, Nightmare? I've got a feeling, that you don't want me to believe you at all. Why?” “Maybe because you don't have a reasonable reason to?” I curved my brow. “I almost killed you during the first meeting, on the second - I had sent you to the Sun. And after that, you suddenly demonstrate some unusual, unnatural trust, which forces me to think, that...” “Unnatural trust?!" Oh..” Freezing on the spot, Tia intercepted me with shock and rubbed forehead with a shoe. “This... Well, what do you call natural, Nightmare?” “Well...” Stopping as well, I scowled. “When someone fears me or doesn't trust - it's normal, understandable reaction on... A pony with my reputation. But when you get armor all of sudden - it's unnatural. No one in control of his senses wouldn't give his enemy armor back, even though a former one.” Princess listened to me, looking somewhere beyond the horizon thoughtfully. “You know...” She dropped after a few seconds. “I can't understand what scares me more: your takes that fear and distrust are natural things, or the fact, that you really heartily believe it yourself.” Snowy alicorn shook head with sadness. “Heartily believe it”? I knew, that any attempts to lie can turn out badly: seems, that she can feel truth somehow. Even though I wasn’t planning on lying to Tia, but some unpleasant feeling still appeared. “About the armor...” Princess continued. “Why do you still think of me as your enemy, Nightmare? I said earlier, that I forgave you and decided to give you a second chance - why don't you want to accept it? Is it worse than hostility?” “A bad peace is better than a good war, of course...” I agreed “But it doesn't appear like that: “Okay, we’ve made peace, we’re not enemies anymore, we forgot the past, let’s hug!” “Actually, strangely enough, your words are depicting the right term of making piece.” Celestia smiled a bit sadly. “Like this: we're not enemies anymore, it's time to leave former insults in the past and move into the future. There’s surely no reconciliation without it... But I hear irony in your voice. Don’t you believe in the possibility of making peace with me itself? Or you just don't trust me personally? But have I done something to deserve your distrust? Or it's just because you can't forgive me for your banishment?” You're not the issue, Tia. You're surely not... I swept a long gaze over the sky, and somewhere far away, toy pegasus towed a painted cloud, and I couldn't hold it: “Tell me, Princess... The world around, all these trees, flowers, sky - is it all real? Are YOU real?” I gazed at the clueless alicorn. Tia, looking through me with loss, hesitated with an answer. “You of course would say” “Indeed, everything is real!” I nodded to myself. “But how can you prove it, m?” “Nightmare?!” Getting back, snowy mare blinked with shock. “What are you...” “Nothing.” I gave a twisted grin, breaking the Princess of the Day mid-word. “I’m still wondering about whether I am here for real or it’s just a long dream, and I’m still there and all this.” I waved around the garden with my fore leg. “...Is a phantom of my sick imagination.” Tia looked at me with absolutely unreadable savage look. “No, I understand it with my mind, that these fantasies are sheer nonsense, but...” I rubbed forehead with a hoof. “But I just cannot leave them and stop thinking about them. “What if?...” My mind has let me down already - can I trust it? Can I trust myself?” I stared at the pink eyes point-blank. “Can I trust myself, a toy Princess of a painted world, huh?” I didn't hold myself, just let it go onto her... Damn it... I gazed at Celestia, frozen like a statue. “And you offer to believe others.” I summarized sadly and, turning around, went away from the path. “Nightmare.” Princess’ quiet voice caught me after a few steps. “Does it really matter if the world around is real or not?” I stumbled on a plain place. What? What?! I turned around in a rush. Wanted... I don't know... “It doesn't matter if this world is real or not.” Alicorn shook head. “The important thing is that the thoughts, feelings and emotions it evokes are real. Yours. Let this world - and me with it - evaporate, like morning mist, but everything, that you feel here and here.” Princess’ hoof touched her temple and chest consistently. “Is yours and will be with you.” “And for what? To wake up more painfully? The happier the dream - the bitterer the awakening.” I insisted gloomily, hesitating for a few seconds. Tia's words threw me off the track. “It’s opposite. To hearten and cheer you up. Show you what you can strive for and achieve. To show who can you be yourself.” Celestia looked at me with great panache and smiled cheerfully. “And who can I be?” Drooping, I chuckled sadly. "The unwanted one? You think, that I don't see that I’m absolutely unwanted here? Honestly, it's hard to say - do I fear to wake up... Or look forward to it.” “Nightmare...” Snowy wing's tip touched my chin softly. I lifted my head reluctantly to meet the Princess pink eyes’ gaze full of sympathy and sorrow. “It’s not true. Don't think of yourself worse than you are. You feel as if the world does not want to accept you now - and you don't want to in answer. But it's false: Twilight wrote, that you already have friends, that care about you. That you like to learn and practice new... Don't hurry to decline everything so categorically. You're not unwanted - you just need friends and a little bit of time.” I stepped back, looking at my legs in thoughts. Maybe it’s true?... That life is over. And even if I'd imagine that it's not - would it be easy to get back to it? I don't want to give answers - I can get a shiver down my spine. So easily - no, it’s impossible. Yeah, I've been here for a little bit than nothing, but Pinkie, for instance, as it seems, thinks of me as a real friend - and it would be very painful for her to lose me. And my own opportunities? Abdicate from good health? From magic? From flights? I could get back to the old life, sure. But not that easily. Maybe it's time to finally accept it and live on? What Tia said? Remembering the old, not to be discouraged, but to be inspired by it. What sorrow about my lost home can give me? Isn't it better to try to remember all the good things that were there to rely on those here? Because melancholy won't give me anything. I blinked, getting back into reality. Princess awaited my reaction with patience, thinking about something. Sun was shining at the golden breastplate, wind was budging the white fur subtly. I looked closer, narrowing my eyes, and, with some surprise, saw almost invisible scar on the left shoulder. It’s strange that it's still there... I swept my gaze up. Huge pink eyes thoughtfully examined the garden, the left ear moved reflexively to get rid of a bug... Alicorn scowled to her own thoughts, then noticed my gaze after a second and, waking up, looked at me with careful anticipation. She's alive, real. And her irides’ pattern is beautiful. Like a mountain from up high. “I'd like to believe. Thanks for kind words, Princess.” Tia smiled in answer warmly, and I finally felt calmness in my soul. I felt desire to live on for the first time during this morning.
25. The Princess' Guest“Enjoy your meal, Nightmare.” “Thanks, you too.” I nodded to Tia and looked at the table with doubt. I don't know what to look at first. Some soup, porridge with vegetables, three salads, one of which is a fruit one... And a bunch of flowers. For the last bit. Celestia wasn't hurrying to show me to the masses for some reason: I and Princess were the only ones in a small dining room. Teleported, ordered to throw a party, came back for me... Yeah, teleportation is not everybody’s cup of tea... Of course, maybe it's about getting used to it - I don’t know... But it's like you've been washed in a washing machine and wrung on a thousand eight hundred revolutions in the end. Head still feels a little bit dizzy, “enjoying” me with a feeling as if the eyes were narrowed to the nose and there’s no way to put them straight at the same time. “It will pass away quickly.” Tia reassured, for which my strains aren't a mystery. “If you use teleportation regularly - you get used to it.” “Nightmarish feeling.” I closed left eye and moved it all the way to the right, trying to somehow get rid of the false crossed eyes. Princess, judging by a little bit unnatural face, clearly swallowed a chuckle. “Soup?” She offered after a few seconds. “Why not.” I shut eyes tight and then blinked swiftly. It seems a bit easier now. Tia poured a dense liquid of bright orange color into the bowls. “Sun in a bowl.” An association came into my mind. “Pumpkin cream soup with carrot and potato.” Princess presented. Don't like pumpkin that much, but overall looking... Is positive. There’s no association coming from my mind. I grabbed a spoon from the table and... “Nightmare, it's a salad spoon. The right one is for the soup.” Yeah, thanks, nice fucking idea! I looked at Princess with a listless gaze from under my brows and, with barely audible sigh, drew out the soup with the salad spoon. Wow! Great! The pumpkin almost doesn't feel... Very good indeed. Drawing back, I lifted the Tia's noted spoon and, drawing out, touched a drop. “And where’s the difference?” I looked at the alicorn, which still examining me with some sad thoughtfulness. Celestia gazed a questioning look. “What is the fundamental difference, which cistern to use, if the final taste is the same? I don't see different in comfort as well.” I twisted the soup spoon before my eyes, put aside, lifted up the salad one... Etiquette is good to an extent. I can use fork, spoon and knife easily, don't slurp, don't throw tea around, don't blow nose in the tablecloth and don't fix eyes at a phone at table - and I thought that it was relatively enough. But clear quirks like different spoons for different kinds of soup, different towels for the left and right hands and different looks of faces for eating different foods I cannot understand at all. For whom and with what purpose does it exist?! Humans had time to waste... And, as it turned out, not only humans. “I should have guessed it after your letter...” Ending with the soup after some time, Tia said tiredly, putting aside the empty bowl. “I wrote what I was asked for.” I shrugged with wings, ending with my portion as well. It was tasty... “Did it really hurt Twilight?” I looked away from the bowl and gazed at Princess dazedly. Celestia chuckled, noticing my reaction. “Wasn't a mystery. The letter was sent through Spike, it means she saw it.” “And?” “Maybe Twilight is not from the oldest and greatest, but still from an aristocratic family - it means that she knows the rules of conversation in the privileged circles, even though she wasn't interested in it...” Alicorn smiled a little bit sadly. “However, she possesses the writing etiquette clearly. And the fact that you wrote a letter with a pencil can be described in the high places as disrespect and as a serious insult by itself. Even absence of titling and official greeting are piece of cake at this background. I understand that you wasn't able to get the needed knowledge, but Twilight surely counted it as insult to me.” “Aha-a...” I prolonged. So Twi, as it turned out, wasn't offended for herself, but for the mentor... “It’s nothing, I’ll write her to bear no grudge against you.” Tia smiled softly. “Thanks. But I'd continue to use pencil. These quills...” “I understand your problems.” Princess nodded. “But still try to get used to quill. You're an alicorn, and you will have to communicate with the aristocracy anyways.” “I’ll never take a quill in my life.” I cringed. “And if some noble would be offended - just come to me and say it to my face.” I smiled malevolently, exposing the “saw” of fangs. “Nightmare. Even so, try, please.” Celestia looked at me with reproof. How does she do it, how? One stare, five words - and I feel like a capricious child, whose mother exhaustedly persuades him to not be naughty and behave well. I looked at Princess gloomily. “Second?” She offered calmly. “Second.” I accepted. This porridge was strange. I not only have not tasted it - I haven't seen it. “Rye porridge with garnish of carrots.” Alicorn explained, seeing my questioning gaze. The dish wasn't the best one, but, at least, it felt rather satisfying. Then we ended the salads, and Tia, with one move of her horn, put together the empty dishes on a stealthy hidden trolley at the door, and started to show the desert - tea and bakery... Watching half-eyed as Princess slowly, after a meticulous examination, one by one, transfers cakes, pastries, and other sweets to the table, I pulled the flower I liked from the jug with the bouquet and, after twisting it in front of my eyes and sniffing it, bit off the bud. It pleasured me with a nice flavor with some honey hint, unfortunately faint and watery. When Celestia ended with table appointments of the most important dishes of our lunch and again took her place, I was ending with a fifth flower. “Not bad, but roses were more delicious.” I followed her gaze, which was on the half-filled vase with flowers. “Roses?” “Yeah... There was a magnificent bush of those back in the garden... Came closer to just sniff, but couldn't hold myself. Tasted a few...” Damn it, they were smelling so seductively... I haven't eaten since morning, Princess went to the servants to set the table. I got excited because of boredom, came closer, smelled it... Take a bud into mouth, bid the scape, started to chew... This taste is superior! I didn't hold myself - ate a few because of the hunger... Well, not a few - a little bit more... “You... My roses...” Princess looked through me with a loss. Damn. I think I did something wrong... But I was hungry, God damn it! “O, Celestia!...” Alicorn screened her face with a tip of a wing for a moment. E-e... What?! “What-what did you say?” I narrowed eyes acidly, leaning forward. “N-nothing!” The Princess of the Sun's gaze started to run around, and crimson color started to swiftly appear on her cheeks. “I think I just...” “it's just your eyes playing tricks on you!” Tia broke me off mid-word swiftly, laying back her ears, that now have the same color as the cheeks. “How long has it been with you?...” Chuckling, I made a washy gesture. “Don't remember! Caught it from the subjects.” Princess grumbled shyly, gazing at the table. “You look cute when you blush.” I smiled to Tia. Smile turned into a victorious chuckle, when she turned red even more. “You're too.” Celestia lifted her eyes suddenly. “Huh, when was it?” I scowled. “When you teared the pillow to pieces against a wall.” Princess slapped with her lashes innocently. A, damn it, it's right... Wait! It could be seen even through my dark fur? “Of course.” Celestia giggled, covering her mouth with a tip of a wing. “It’s not only the skin that turns red, but the fur itself as well, changing its color, like when cutie mark appears.” “Did I say it aloud?..” The question sounded, surprisingly, pathetically, and cheeks and tips of ears, unfortunately for me, were filled with heat traitorously. Damn it! Tia, tittering, started to laugh quietly, forcing me to indignantly gaze at her with a lightning bolt. “Oh, Nightmare!... Forgive me please, but it was so... Cute! I couldn't hold myself.” Princess looked at me disarmingly, ending her laugh. “I have been recognized as cute and was laughed at - now only my painful death can wash this endless disgrace!” I waved away hopelessly. “In fact, it's better to pour the tea!” “I thought that you're serious for a moment.” Alicorn said thoughtfully after a surprisingly steadfast gaze, taking a kettle with telekinesis at the same time. “May I inquire what's disgraceful in being cute?” “Will many take this serious from a... Pony with such a reputation?” I chuckled. “You've called me cute yourself.” Celestia waved with a wing. “Have it influenced your attitude towards me?” “Maybe... It’s too early to say. Thanks.” I accepted the tea bowl from Princess. The tea itself was very close to rather potent and sugarless black one by the taste - mouth-puckering and bitter. I hastened to chase away the bitterness with a muffin. “And yeah, I still haven't asked you about your health, Nightmare. Horn, wings? Any improvements?” Kissing the cup as well, Tia gave mouth after a pause. “Well...” I shook my head indefinably. “By the way: is there any job for an alicorn with horn inserted upside down, and wings, that are growing from the croup?” “Pfhhh...” Princess choked over her tea. “Nightmare! I asked you - do not think of yourself worse than you are!” She looked at me with reproof. “You're a normal pony, you just have to recover yourself and... Is it really that bad?” “I don't have any clue how it should be.” I spitted truth. “But I don't think it should be the way it is now.” Tia sliced and ate a slab of cake with deeply thoughtful look on her face. “You have been medically examined, right?” She finally addressed to me, clearing her lips with a towel accurately. “Wouldn't be too hard for you to remember the diagnosis that taumalogist had made?” “Is it one about the magic?” I specified the barely known term. Princess nodded positively. “I wouldn't remember it very accurately now. I remember his advise to not overuse horn and do magic less generally.” “Okay.” Celestia started to think again. “I guess he hadn't understood what he was handling, so just said general and harmless recommendations - Luna's recommendations are not the same... Would you mind if you attend my castle doctor? She's the best in her field and, I think, can establish a more precise diagnosis.” So Luna is a cabbage now as well? It would be nice if she stays like this more than me... And ideally - forever, scumbag... Of course, it's only dreams, but who knows? About the doctor... I doubt the possibility of Tia, keeping a bad specialist in the castle. Even though the doctor back in Ponyville really tried, overcoming fear, but if his recommendation aren't trustful for ancient and worldly-wise Princess, then, as I assume, she knows better... “If she wouldn't look under my tail and wouldn't panic - I’m fine with that.” I nodded. “She wouldn't panic.” Celestia assured. “And... It can be hard, Nightmare, but try to treat her... Gently. Doctor Hubris can be a little proud and, sometime, reveal some indelicacy, but I assure you, that she's a wonderful specialist. And yeah, she wouldn't look under your tail as well... Will you share why did you emphasize that? Hard time with equalogist?” “M-m... Let’s say it’s not the best procedure out there.” I grumbled. “And hey, why is this even obligatory?! As if alicorn could have problems with illnesses...” “They can, even though it's a very seldom occasion.” Tia nodded to my surprise. “Only serious illnesses can get us, many of them are deadly for ordinary ponies, and even though they they go in a mild case, but I think, that without proper treatment, such sicknesses can kill even us. And the reproductive system is a problem on its own for us.” Princess sighed. “Alas, but because of our power, pregnancy is a very rare, unique occasion.” “How’s that?” I got interested reflexively. “Let me start from far off.” Celestia, making her last sip, put the empty tea bowl aside. “As we all know, any living creature exists in the Universe because of magic...” I chuckled quietly. Interesting take. “Moreover, only because of it rational beings had a chance to appear, such as ponies, griffons, dragons and many others. But magic doesn't allow us to just fly, move clouds, make spells or just take items in fore hooves.” Alicorn glued the kettle to her leg demonstratively, lifted and put back.” It also stealthily protects all of us from various external inputs. Magic of every pony is unique and one of a kind, and it perceives any other magic, except for the original “rude” energy, taking it as an invasion, which should be driven away. And if in the case of insignificant difference in strength between ponies it is hardly noticeable, in the case, when the mare is an alicorn, it becomes almost an unsolvable problem: the stallion's seed, carrying his magic, is naturally perceived by her magic as a threat, and the response to this threat inevitably destroys all life in the seed along with the alien energy, turning it into just a dead liquid - no more.” Interesting things... No wonder, that you can count alicorns with hooves of one pony. I am curious - where Cadence came from then?... She turned into? “It seems, that alicorns are sterile because of this indirect cause? And after so many years you couldn't think of anything to solve it?” I had a doubt. “O, I and Luna had been trying for decades, when we weren't desperate yet!” Tia chuckled sadly. “Poisons, magical influence, attempts to find a stallion-alicorn... Once upon a time we were seriously discussing an idea of turning one of us into this very stallion!” Hell yeah... “And how it went? Any result?” I leaned forward mindlessly. “On practice - no. Because of the need to affect an intelligent living creature with the condition not to cause it any harm, there comes a very costly transformation, which, in the case with an alicorn, as it turned out, becomes impossible at all because of the higher resistance of our race. Maximum of it - transformation of a mare-pegasus into a stallion for approximately thirty-thirty two hours. We didn't succeed in turning each other.” “O-okay...” Damn it! I just started to wonder... “Actually, I think it's good that nothing worked out.” Princess suddenly smiled. “It’s unknown how this transformation could affect the breed, and neither I nor Luna were wishing to become stallions” Yeah, I can understand it... “One way or another, but all attempts to find a stallion with right amount of powerful magic gave no results. But honestly, now I have one guess how to get over this problem with so fatal inequality in power... It’s strange that this thought didn't occur before.” Tia looked at me thoughtfully. “What if we don't strengthen the stallion, but decrease the mare’s powers until the state that you and Luna are in? I think, that the possibility of a successful impregnation is rather high in that case...” I feel a lump in the throat. Oh, fuck... This is why she needed weakened Nightmare... It’s... I’m... “Of course I cannot decide such a serious choice for you and impose it.” Princess continued just as if nothing happened. “Just know that you have the rarest possibility now - give a new beautiful life to this world. Surely this possibility wouldn't be gone at all in the future, but the chances of a success would be, alas, very small...” A-a... Yeah... I looked at the table in prostration, hearing my heart’s roar. Damned horse! I almost turned gray... “Nightmare, something happened?” Tia noticed my state. “No, it's nothing.” I forced a mimic of smile onto my face. “I think I got a little bit excited and went too far.” Celestia smiled ruefully. “I guess it sounded like I offer you to swiftly grab the first available stallion and heartily engage in propagation with him. I didn't mean that. Sorry.” “That's... Fine.” I swallowed the lump in my throat with force. “It’s hard to see how generations change and death comes to relatives, friends and others for centuries...” Tia dropped quietly after a short uncomfortable pause. “Only another alicorn could enter into my longevity, but until recent times I was the only one from our race... There could not be - and must not be - a lot of alicorns, but I dream of days when there would be at least a dozen of us...” Princess was telling it quietly, like only for herself. A feeling was in the air, that what she said was not for my ears, something very personal. “At least you could share your loneliness with mortals.” I galled Celestia with some disgust, but then called down: it's not her fault and not her fault alone. In the end, she's a ruler of a country, and have to defend it, what she did. Nightmare did her duty, fighting Tia, Tia - hers, protecting Equestria. But Luna betrayed both of us. You’re very risking, allowing her close to you, Celly - a lot more, than allowing me to you... “To relatives?” I worked out the courage to mention an odd word. “My daughter was a unicorn.” Thoughtfully, Tia answered on my perplexity with a sad smile. “She passed away in eighty three. Almost before my eyes...” I nodded slowly, trying to digest information. “From the other side, nowadays her - and thereof my - direct descendant lives, Prince Blueblood, in some manner continuing the deed of my dear Sunbeam, remembering and respecting her, as his own ancient ancestor... It’s egoistic to wish her return just because of your own desire, right?” Tia smiled weakly. “She lived a good life. And sometimes I find myself, that I envy her...” Princess was in deep thought, gazing into nowhere. ... I slowly walked backed and forth and regretted, that I don't have arms to put behind my back. And the double clopping sound of steps barely resembled the usual thundering of thin bottoms of heavy boots on polished concrete. Making another circle, I cringed: metronome, made of steps, which always helped to think, was hopelessly broken: “Clop-clop, clop-clop, clop-clop, clop-clop” rather breaks train of thought with its unusual rhythm, what helped. Sniffing angrily, I stopped. Yeah, Tia made me nervous... I can understand her worriment about small number of alicorns, but she told about it in such a way! I shivered nervously. I can understand her, of course, but participate in this situation's solution is not my desire - udder between the legs is disincentivise a bit... And heck with all of this! I should think less about it - for my own good... After that, we talked about magic and flights. Tia said, that feeling things with telekinesis is good and right: its sensitivity in normal state almost catches up the hooves, and the fact, that I barely feel with it, will go away after a time, if my and Luna's diagnosis are similar. However, with its magic sensitivity back, it would be more painful to scrabble at something with it. Asking, if the horn was a natural weapon of ancient unicorns - sharp, long - I learned one interesting fact from Celestia: it was and, what’s more interesting, it still is. With a force of will you can block the flow of magic in horn - you wouldn't be able to make spells, but the sensitivity will be almost next to none, so it'd allow you to realistically spike it into someone: horn, after all, is a bone, and a very solid one. On the other hand, when magic is actively used, sensitivity increases noticeably, and a blow to the horn at such a moment can, if strong enough, even lead to loss of consciousness from painful shock. Then the conversation smoothly flowed into flight's topic, but we hadn't time to talk about it: Tia looked at the clock and with wide-eyes swiftly brought me to the taumalogist. It turned out that the castle had its own hospital, staffed with the latest magic instruments, but, as I understood it, without permanent staff: the right specialist, certified as worthy to treat the royal person, was called here as needed from the main place of work. And this specialist, as it seems, has already come, but we forgot our time over talk a bit... Anyway, Princess teleported us both to the medical wing and, leaving me to pace the waiting room, went to put her doc wise. O, here she is, I guess: I can hear approaching sound of steps behind the door. “Sorry for the hold back, Nightmare.” Princess went to me. “Unfortunately, I haven't had opportunity to tell you everything beforehand. Come, you’re being awaited.” Tia stepped back, giving me way. “I have to go now, but I’ll come back for you, when you're done.” “Listen, what this secrecy’s purpose is all about?” I wanted to lean forward, but stopped mid-step from the question in my mind. “I think, that half of the castle knows about my presence. Guards, attendants... Ponyville...” “Attendants?” Tia raised a brow. Some foretaste blinked in her gaze. “Attendants have never seen you.” “But the pillow under my head was?...” I didn't finish, feeling my face turning red under Celestia's victorious stare. Realization stood before eyes. “O, forget it.” Alicorn giggled. “It wasn't hard for me.” “It was for me.” I grumbled, flipping mane onto my face to cover behind it. “Why did you do that?” “It wasn't comfortable without a pillow for you.” Tia became confused a bit in answer. “And there’s no one to take care of you except me.” “I would ask why do you need to take care of me and how it stems from “just a second chance”, but...” I waved off hopelessly. I would never understand this horse... “You better tell me - how this secrecy goes together with Ponyville?” “Citizens of Canterlot are too important to be interested in some rumors from a province.” Princess smiled sadly. “Furthermore, Ponyville is situated near the Everfree forest and known as a place rich for different events... Anecdotes are just part of the routine, like: “A huge hungry dragon has attacked Ponyville, but locals didn't notice that during doing their routine.” or “The most destructive flood for two centuries, that crushed Ponyville, was awarded in the local newspaper with a sketch in the “humor” category”. So only a few believes in rumors from there, and if Ponyville doesn't set afire on the horizon, and there’s no refugees from there, thus the Mare in the Moon in the town is just a rumor.” “I got it.” I chuckled at the Princess’ anecdotes. I liked the last one. “Okay, I’m going.” “Will see you soon.” Celestia nodded and, tiding my mane with a playful smile, teleported. I felt my blush. Why she?! What I? Damn it, she did it on purpose! On the God-damn purpose!!! Sniffing angrily, I opened the door and came in. A snicker was heard behind my back. Just a feeling, I guess... ... Entering the already known guest chambers, I fell onto the bed with a moan and rolled over on back, hanging head from an edge, unfolding wings, leaving half-bent legs to stick out upward. Finally, evening! Head was boiling, horn was tingling, a phantom feeling of slight tickle from diagnostic spells was running across my whole body. This doctress exhausted me as hell... Cocky bastard. How did she even dare?! There can be only one cocky bastard - me! Thought caused a chuckle. But the mare was, if we put jokes aside, not a gift. It’s good that the most of the time her brain had an understanding to talk trash with others, not personally me: she was afraid of me a bit and tried to demonstrate straight professionalism towards me. But she wasn't shy to talk about others, being a fearful example of mix of arrogance and egotism with talkativeness. “What? Using magic less”? It’s unfortunate that you didn't make even an effort to remember the precise diagnosis, but with this one, so-called, “recommendation” I can surely state, that it’s as far from the reality as the primitive country craftsman, which stated it, from a real doctor, like me! Even a slightly trained medpony must see just from one look, that it's a rare isolated situation of atypical general magical insufficiency!” And something like that, stopping only from time to time. It was bearable, until this gossip got used and stopped being afraid of me, quickly losing all her straight professionalism... My patience lasted until the doctor, finally becoming bold enough, began to comment me and even make some plans! Aloud!!! She was like “Yeah, you're not the most handsome out there, but if you show an extraordinary effort, then my silly brother, maybe, will pay attention to you. And union with a person close to Princess herself can positively influence your disastrous reputation...” But, when my shoe flew before her nose right into a door of a massive wooden cabinet, forcing the cabinet to reel with clash and leaving a solid dint in the wood, she understood her mistake and, shivering under my furious gaze, finally shut up. After that, I didn't hear unnecessary words from her for the whole evening. Regrets as well. It seems that it’s “infra dig” for her. In any case, it didn't worsen my mood: eyes, full of dread on the pale face, quickly restored it until its common, kindhearted state. Ending her job, Hubris reported to Celestia, not looking in my direction demonstratively, and hastened to leave presence of a “criminal with gross reputation”, and I, after discussing everything with Tia shortly, was teleported to the already known room with regrets about the behavior of the subjects and wishes of good rest. About the diagnosis and its consequences: for me it barely changed, except for the harsh opposite recommendation - use magic frequently, but not complex one to not overburn. Basically, half the evening I was doing right that: carrying different weights with telekinesis, putting my energy into crystals and drawing it back, lightening and extinguishing magical fireflies and others. Why - only Celestia knows, offended taumalogist didn't say a lot about it, just handed over the report to Princess, and I didn't insist, thinking about it just only as a training, that it's not extra in my conditions. Well, of course, this one was hell of a day... In the morning I thought, that I won't make it, but no, I did it. I will suffer more for a while Dinner with Tia went interesting as well. Then this doctress... Stupid a bit... Exhausted me, damn it, with different exercises, but it’s only good for me. At least extinguishing and lightening of the local magical bulbs are not a challenge for me anymore - I have been practicing a lot. Chuckling shortly, dragged energy from a lamp by the worked out effort, leaving the room in darkness. Okay. It's time to sleep. I spreadeagled on the bed leisurely, getting comfortable, and shut my eyes...
26. A Night, A Stallion, A MareI wasn't allowed to fall asleep: it seems, that when I just closed my eyelids, I was brought back into reality with sonorous clopping sound in the corridor. And there were obviously more than four hooves... And I expected that they will just pass by! Door in my room was enveloped in a pale turquoise aura and opened soundlessly, letting inside two ponies, silhouettes of which were clearly seen for me in the darkness. Muffled sounds of unknown persons on the carpet washed away the remnants of dream, forcing to wake up altogether. Closing in, I also narrowed my eyes just in case, camouflaging my glowing eyes with eyelids - the incomers surely see worse in the darkness, moving almost by the feel, but my “headlights” were an easy object to notice. Who are you? What do you need? I hope you're not after my head? Door in the room closed in the same soundless way, only lock's click was audible. “Now, no one will disturb us here.” Mare promised with a half-whisper cheerfully. “E-ehm... Maybe, maybe...” Stallion surely wasn't on the same line of enthusiasm. “I just said, that Princess Celestia, just for your information, forbade everyone to attend this corridor And I think that everyone means you as well!” Pony's voice started to whisper. “Oh, Shiny! Auntie always repeats me something like: “Cadenza, you're a Princess! You must make decisions yourself!” and stuff...” It seems, that Princess Cadence imitated Tia. Intere-esting... “And if I’m so important and powerful Princess, then it means that I can lift the ban for both of us, isn't?” “We-ell... Princess Celestia wouldn't be happy about that, I think...” Shining had a doubt once again. “Come on.” Mare giggled. “What can be so scary and forbidden in the guest wing of the castle? Better come here, my Lieutenant!” Sounds afterwards definitively meant a passionate kiss. I thoughtfully bid a lip, thinking how to play a joke on this couple. Unfortunately, Shining already saw me, thus there wouldn't be a shocking effect... “O-of... Ph-ew...” “You must train more, dear.” The young Princess taunted the breathless guard, when they stepped back from each other. “Am I, phew, against it?” He chuckled in answer. “You’ll see, sometime, I’ll be like you in this field.” “Nope, you won't!” Mare stated cheerfully. “I’ll work to improve myself, m?” “Yeah...” Stallion's voice lost its happiness altogether. “There’s no way to win over an immortal...” “Oh, Shiny!...” “I know! But I cannot stop myself from thinking about it, Cadence! You're already twice my age. But it's hard to argue - still not bad...” He chuckled nervously. A clear sound of blow against an empty skull by a strong hoof sounded in the darkness. I chuckled in the pillow. “Ouch!” “Fool!” Mare’s silhouette hugged stallion's one. “Let the auntie talk about immortal's fate, everlasting loneliness and more as much as she wants! I’d rather live with sorrow about the deceased than without love, Shiny. Forget this conversation and stop to feel sorry for me! Everything will be fine.” “As you say, Your Excellency.” “Fool.” Mare sighed again. “I love you, Shining.” “I love you too, Cadence.” “Come here...” The sounds of passionate kissing were heard again in the darkness, and the couple themselves seemed to slowly start shifting towards the bed. MY bed! I thought of waiting for them here and taking an active part in the process for a moment, bringing elements of fear and surprise into it, but the smiling mare-gynecologist and her phrase about "an extraordinary effort" shook me, and Celestia, who urged me to find a stallion and have children, destroyed my desire to make such a joke. What if they will take it literally? Shining will get in the back, and Cadence will hold with her magic... It'll be like the joke, that, "a well-fixed lesbian is no different from a straight woman"... Fuck this! I shook head energetically, getting rid of the annoying idea, which, to my great unfortunate, as it seems, was a body’s cup of tea - I couldn't tightly press slightly numb wings to the hips, and the tail stood invitingly upright. Damn it? Seven by eight? Forty two. Nine by six? Fifty four. Sixteen by thirteen? M-m... Two hundred and eight! Oh, damn... Freedom of thought is not for me... But it's time to break the lovebirds, they have a few steps left... “Maybe you’ll kiss me as well if you already paid a visit?” I asked the still passionately kissing couple loudly. A-a, didn't hold myself... Ooh! With loud and scared neigh, visitors recoiled back from the bed. Area around Shining was immediately filled with a lilac defensive shield, lightening the room with a pale pink light. Cadence managed to “successfully” recoil right onto a table and spreadeagled on the floor with rattle and rustle of the destroyed piece of furniture . “O-ouch!” “Cadence! And who are you?!” Lieutenant reacted immediately. “But Shiny-y!” I added offended shadows to my voice. “Don't you remember me? Our walks around the castle, how you were escorting me afterwards... And now you come into my room... With another! How dare you?!” Do not laugh! DO NOT LAUGH!!! “O-oh... Shining?” Alicorn, rising up from the remnants of the table, gave me a sheepish look. “Who the hell... NIGHTMARE MOON?!” Scarcely finding my glowing eyes in the darkness through the radiance of his defense, stallion stepped back sharply, stumbled and didn't catch the balance and comically sat on the croup, causing a chuckle from me. I rolled over to an edge of the bed and, getting on to feet with a conjoint move, slowly moved towards the unicorn, loudly stomping with every step on purpose. It wasn't great because of the carpet. “You thought Celestia blocked access to here just because, my little ponies?” “Shining, who is she?” Princess’ voice shivered. Simultaneously, Cadence turned on a firefly at the end of her horn, driving away the half-light of the room. “What does it matter who am I?” I answered theatrically with a humble tone instead of the hesitated stallion, turning around and stepping into the circle of light with a wide smile, demonstrating my set of fangs to the Princess of love. Mare, groaning quietly, stepped back. Firefly on her horn flashed dangerously for a moment and almost died out. “It’s way more interesting who are you, alicorn?” I looked in her eyes throughly, closing in slowly. I think Nightmare would have asked this question for sure. “Stop, Nightmare Moon!” Finally recovered Lieutenant Armor stood between us swiftly, he's still encircled by the sphere of the shield. I came point-blank, hanging over the stallion. Shining shivered a bit and visibly tensed up, but didn't step back. I lifted a leg and poke a hoof into the shield - feeling, like it's made of thick rubber, which is supported by a layer of water inside. Elastic, barely denting. Chuckling, I moved around, gazing at Cadence demonstratively. “Nightmare...” Guard knitted brows together menacingly, blocking my way. “Are you afraid?” I chuckled, making a step back. “Or it is because my pictures are made more scary on the textbooks’ pages on purpose?” “Pictures... On the textbooks’ pages?...” Cadence became confused. “Haven’t you ever heard about the Mare in the Moon?” I smiled widely again. “A dark spirit, who tried to enslave Equestria and has been stopped only because of the Princess Luna's sacrifice?” Alicorn panted shyly, laying ears back with fear. “O yeah. Cute fairy tale, I like it.” I laughed quietly, slowly going around Shining, which is strained as a string, and cutting off the way to the door, on which the stallion looked from time to time. Cadence, shivering from my laughter, moved in the opposite way, trying to hide from me behind the guard's back. “Would you say Princess Celestia has been lying to ponies for years and that's not what happened at all?” Sniffing angrily, Armor scowled. “That’s not what happened at all.” Nodding, I returned an echo. “And Princess had to apologize to me for that. For the fact, that this lie, created for the greater good, turned out to be a harmful one to someone.” “You're saying such a slander right now...” Stallion narrowed eyes unkindly. “Shining, wait!” Alicorn almost ordered him. “But...” “Shining!” Lieutenant, looking at me with disgust wordlessly, recoiled back half a step. “If “that’s not what happened” - what happened then?” Cadence looked at me severely. “Ask Celestia I think she’ll tell it to you, to an alicorn.” I lifted my fore leg and started to examine my hoof demonstratively. It’s so good to see in such half-light... “And you?” “What “you”?” “Tell it?” “No.” “Why?” Scowling, the mare leaned forward. “Why?” I put the leg back onto the carpet. “To hear some “it’s impossible!”, “it's not true!”, “you're lying!” and etcetera from you? Not interested.” “You doubt your own words so much?” Shining chuckled, earning a dissatisfied gaze from Cadence. “As you see, I don't even have to say words for them to be recognized as a hundred percent lie.” I commented, addressing to the alicorn. “No matter what I tell - it's always in doubt.” “Usually Shining isn't like this.” Mare grumbled, looking at the guard with a dissatisfied look once again. “Like what?” He chuckled nervously. “Cadence, do you know, that Nightmare lives together with my sister, whom Princess ordered to accommodate her? I can't sleep if a letter from Twiley delays even for a day! Actually, I have to be silent, of course... But if you've met personally already...” “A-a...” Princess looked at the stallion with a distrustful and somewhat lost gaze. “You can fear no more for your sister, Lieutenant.” I emphasized a smile. “Maybe we’re not in tune in everything with Twilight, but she has done a lot for me - and I’m not going to pay off her good with evil.” Shining chuckled nervously, twisting eyes at me. “By the way, who is your companion?” “Her Excellency Princess Mi Amore Cadenza.” Unicorn said reluctantly, looking at me with a doubt. Excellency? Not Highness? Strange... “Cadence is fine.” Alicorn woke up, earning a quiet displeased sniff from Shining. “Nightmare Moon.” I decided to not step back from the ritual. “Forgive us for this invasion, Nightmare Moon.” Going round the shield and coming up to the stallion, Cadence bowed her head ceremonially. “We didn't want to disturb your rest.” Familiar flair... Celestia, is it you? “Yeah, stumbled into my room entirely by accident in a closed for visitors castle's wing. “Just lost their way.” I nodded seriously in an exaggerated way. Shining, finally extinguishing his shield, casted a speaking gaze at his companion, in which one could read dissatisfied leniency: “I told you!” “It would have been okay if you had just woken me up, but you refused to kiss as well.” I shook my head accusingly, earning two nervous gazes. “So you have to earn your forgiveness...” I paused on the word, looking, how gazes become very stressful. I wanted to crack a joke about “leave your stallion to me and you can go, I’ll return him tomorrow”, but... Either I’ll get a blow right into my head, or get the wanted - and it’s hard to say what's worse... Heck with these jokes! But I couldn't erase a smirk from my face. “Tell me: where another alicorn in Equestria came from?” Couple sighed with relief under my acid-tongued giggle. “Well...” Cadence hesitated. “I've become an alicorn when I was fourteen... ... “Intere-esting...” I prolonged, when the mare went silent. At the start I had to pull information from her almost with pliers, but then she fell into the talk and told a lot of interesting stuff. Her story is truly unusual. Didn't except that. Especially didn't except, that the brand-new Princess will have earned her horn for making peace between Shining and Twilight’s parents! Yeah...What a small world. Opposites attract, as they say. I guess that's how quiet, homely Night Light, who prefers the tranquility of the library and slimness in formulas, and the fidgety Twilight Velvet, who loves adventure and adrenaline in her blood, came together. A burning love, a wedding after three months, and, very soon, a harsh kick of reality, which quickly showed, that family life is much more complicated than moonlight walks and serenades under the windows. Opposites attracted, but, as it turned out, they didn't get along very well beneath the same roof for any length of time. Quarrels, brawls, tears, runs to the parents for support... The relationship was going downhill, and it would have gone there soon if they hadn't gotten into a fight right in the street, where Cadence had bumped into them. She somehow managed to find words to calm them down, brought the news, that Velvet was pregnant, scolded the stunned couple, and, after receiving the cutie mark, left in prostration, giving a subdued promise to come tomorrow and continue the conversation. Notably, information about Velvet’s pregnancy wasn't known for Cadence as well, only making an assumption, that this skill is a part of her talent, declaring itself in that moment. In any case, she saved the family from disintegration, becoming a close friend along the way, ten months later, Cadence caught Celestia's eye and passed the Prominence, and three weeks later, Shining was born. Much to the alicorn’s chagrin - and to Armor's quiet relief - she hadn't time to babysit her future husband: Tia, in the context of Nightmare Moon's returning, was heavily concerned about preparing an alternative to herself - “just in case” - and Cadence's days were swiftly guided to the funny days of express-training of a new ruler. Learning magic, intense training of the school subjects for passing it earlier, etiquette... Then - special course in the School for Gifted Unicorns, Canterlot Academy of Management and Personnel, practice on different positions and different cities... Anyways, she had seen Shining literally a few times during this period for mere moments. Later, when Tia realized, that she was overdoing it again, and after a long heartfelt apology, she reduced the burden on her niece, who was by that time thoroughly overwrought and disturbed, and who was no longer able to see Shining, because he had been sent to the Cadet Corps for training. But throughly babysat his little sister - Twilight. And when Armor arrived home in the new uniform of the Lieutenant of the Guard after graduation, alicorn could not resist the statuesque handsome officer - the very next day gave him a bouquet of roses from the castle garden... On this moment, wondering about the ups and downs of fate in thought, I, with mutual wishes of a good night, said goodbye to the already sleepy couple. Honestly, I was almost the same and was dropping off... Nevertheless, it was an interesting acquaintance. And yeah... Bade farewell... Not ba-ad... As soon as my head touched the pillow, I immediately fell into darkness. *** “With morning's soft light on the walls of the ancient town! Equestrian land meets a gorgeous dawn!” I, of course, lied a bit about morning and dawn: it was already a little past noon. But the mood was good, Sun shined, and after my escort out of the night visitors, I slept just great. So after stretching a little and washing my face, I was now cheerfully trying to make the table, on which Cadence had landed, resemble its original shape. Alas, tabletop, that is broken in half, is not going to be even barely patched up during absence of even glue. Well, at least it stands by itself, if one doesn't touch it... My work was disturbed by a long-expected clop of shoes in the hallway and following tap on the door. “Hello, Nightmare.” Entering, the Princess of the Sun smiled. “Hello. Come in, feel at home!” I smiled in answer. Tia giggled, covering herself behind a wing's tip. “I’m glad that you're in good mood, Nightmare.” “Yeah, thanks for the yesterday’s conversation.” I nodded. “It helped. Seems that I want to live again.” “I’m happy, that it wasn't only disgust for you, but turned out to be useful. And also... I must apologize.” Celestia sighed. “For what?” I looked at her a little bit dazedly. “In yesterday’s talk I used the spell of truth to feel your lie. It was very tactlessly and bad from for my own part. Forgive me this decision, please. But, unfortunately, I hadn't come up with something better.” I looked somewhere through the alicorn in prostration. Is she even sane?! “Princess.” I tackled the stupor after a few seconds. “Do you understand, that you blab strategical information to a potential enemy, don’t you? Why?!” I looked at her pitifully. “Stop, wait... You're fooling me, right?” Says "spell”, but in reality just an empath. I will think, that now, right now, this conversation is not the most important, she didn't turn it on and doesn't feel it, but she will read me and make conclusions... Or not? I’ll get a brain dislocation with her... But maybe... “I already said, that I don't think of you as my enemy!” Tia sighed. “Didn't you think, that I’m cozying up to you and turn the Elements on my side to overthrow you afterwards or something? How do you know if I’m going to do that or not?” “As I already asked you: don't think of yourself worse than you are in reality, Nightmare. I think you wouldn't do that.” Nice logic. “But if you're wrong - what then?” “Do you suggest suspect you in every possible crime?” Gazing tiredly, Tia answered with a question on the question. “Then not only you: I can suspect Twilight as well, and Fancy, and Blueblood... Anyone! And, the most important - did suspicion and distrust made someone's day? Sombra, some time ago, started with not trusting anyone and seeing a coming plot in every shadow. And what this poor unicorn came to, his country and his people?” “Sometime ago I unfailingly trusted Luna. And how did it end for me?” I insisted gloomily. “The more reason why I must trust you. You know more than anyone else, how does it feel, when your trust is betrayed” A-a... Princess’ conclusion was surprising for me, and, most importantly, there’s nothing I can put against it. She understood it earlier than I did: stabbing in the back, like Luna, is beyond my strength. It’s... I don't even know. I wasn't going to, of course, but how did she know? And she... Like that. “Well... It doesn't lack some logic.” I admitted defeat in the debate. “I hope, that sometime this trust will be mutual.” Celestia smiled fleetly. “By the way, I have a small gift for you.” “Hm?” I raised brows. “Here, take it.” Tia extracted two golden plates from under her wing, which evoked associations with credit cards, and handed them to me. “Grand Galloping Gala” - was written on the adverse by a pretentious font. Invitations. Two of them. For me, Nightmare Moon. She's gone nuts... “What is it?” Not hastening to accept the offered, I asked in an indifferent tone. I don't have a clue if Nightmare knew about this holiday... “Invitations for the traditional annual grandiose ball in honor of the Canterlot’s founding, which will be held on the twelfth of May, next year. To you and someone, whom you'd like to go with.” “And why?” Not changing tones, I asked. “I understand it as an aristocratic mob, and I don't like this audience, to say the least. You know, what would be, if someone in his infinitive wisdom hurt my feelings? And they certainly will: intrigues, rumors, and, most importantly, a sea of arrogance: someone certainly would like to acidly and tauntingly discuss a wrongly chosen spoon... Are you sure you need this? In the end, why do I need it?” “You need it for going out into the world and make your appearance clear. I guess, that your reputation would be a little bit better - and I hope, that you would try do the same.” Tia looked in my eyes meaningfully. “Because I also hope, that you wouldn't threaten someone just because of such a small thing, let alone use force. And for me... To make the last step to change the situation, in which I, unfortunately, turned your name against you, and to shake things up a bit, and...” Tia smiled coyly. “To look at you, clothed in a beautiful dress, of course.” “What?! What is this for?!” I looked at the alicorn in shock. “Thought I'd mention it just in case, so you don't show up there in armor either. Twilight said, that you wear it almost constantly, often even in house! Why?” I opened mouth to insist and froze, looking at one point. Quite so - why?! After all, if I recall, right after Tia handed me the armor, I put it on without even thinking if I needed it at all or why I needed it. I could... I don’t know... I could have refused such a gift, for example. Or ask to have it packed to take it, so to speak, in hand luggage. But no - I haven't even had such a thought in the past, and I don't have it now, when the armor is put on automatically after awakening. And the funniest thing - I can put it on, have a breakfast, and then take it off to go to a training, where it would bother me! Maybe to avoid the feeling, that you walk nude - ponies don't use clothes? But no! I don't have this feeling! Strangely enough, but it appears only when the cover is off, before that you feel your body completely dressed! Then there's only one word - habit. Nightmare Moon's habit. Wear armor, whether you need it or not. If that's the case - what habits did I pick up, which I don’t know about? I shivered uncomfortably. I’m changing. And I don't even notice that. I’m losing my old self - and don't feel it until it’s too obvious. How much time do I have until the complete transformation into a mare-pony even in my own thoughts? Will I even notice the moment when it happens? When “Nightmare Moon” would stop to be a pseudonym for me and become a name? My name? “Nightmare, is everything alright?” Princess’ voice brought me back. “I have no clue, honestly.” I shook my head. “You... You asked a very interesting question. I have food for thought.” “Excuse me if I forced you to remember something...” Celestia drooped. “No, everything is fine... In this context at least. Just some small inner inconsistencies, ignore it.” I interrupted the alicorn, feigning plain kindness on my face. “If you need help, you can always address me.” Tia assured, looking at me for a few seconds with care. “Thanks.” I nodded in answer. “Well...” Princess broke the silence in the air after a long pause. “What's your answer about invitations?” So... One for Flutty, no doubt. Pinkie, Rarity... Twilight would go in either case... Do I need one for myself? Honestly, this kind of hanging out is not I’m interested in at all. I don't give a heck about nobles with their intrigues, I barely can dance even when walking on two legs, what would happen on four... Pros? I can have a good meal, listen to beautiful music, look at the air show and fireworks. I can, after all, “make merry carelessly and funnily” by “smashing services and burning drying barns” - I have the eligible reputation. But Tia wouldn't like it. Well... Maybe she would: she was fine with the party’s mayhem in the canon - just sat behind a table and laughed. Well, okay, let’s go, and then we’ll see. Store is no sore, and it's not that hard to gift it to someone or just throw it away. “Give me four - and that's a deal.” Making decision, I chuckled. “A-a...” Celestia confused for a moment. “Why?” “Even though I can count all my good buddies by hooves - and there would be some extra left - but I’m not going to choose between them.” I shrugged with wings. “So four or nothing. If it’s such a problem - fine, give me three.” “Hm...” Princess paused to think. “It’s solvable. And forgive my inquisitiveness, why are you ready to take at least three? Not sure in relationships with someone from your fiends?” “I’m sure in every of my friends.” I chuckled again. “I’ll give them to the others and go without it. Your guards aren't suicides, are they? They won't dare to stop.” Smirk turned into a mischievous grin by itself. “Nightmare...” Scowling, Tia looked at me harshly. “What? I’m interested in testing your warriors’ bravery and dedication and their limits.” I brought back a rather neutral expression on my face. “I have a funny feeling, that if you don't order them to not let me in at all costs, I won't even have to threaten them.” “But what if they won't let you in?” Princess narrowed her eyes. “I hope you wouldn't use force or threats, would you?” “Need like a hole in the head... Would go back to Ponyville, eat and go to bed.” I moved with a wing phlegmatically. “I wouldn’t lose anything. Such an aristocratic meeting is just not interesting for me, and if I’m going there - I’m going there not for myself. For that matter - what about Luna?” The feeling, that had been looming somewhere on the periphery of my consciousness since Tia had extended the invitations to me, finally took shape in a concrete question. “She...” Saddened alicorn unexpectedly hesitated. “I hope I can persuade her to honor the holiday with her presence after all.” “And I also expect, that in such a time you will change your anger towards my poor sister into mercy, and, if not to forgive her, at least temporarily agree to extinguish your enmity towards her..." Celestia sighed with a forced smile. Yeah, of course... You know, it's better for everyone if this blue nag wouldn't appear on the occasion. And if she does not survive until the celebration, there would be beautiful wakes of the blue one... With fireworks, heh. Sooner or later, Luna, you’ll pay for everything, fucking scumbag. For everything! For every fucking “beautiful” day in absolute loneliness in that goddamn hell! “Nightmare!” I shivered from Tia's worried hollo. “A? Yeah... Everything is fine. I just took a thought...” Shaking head, I looked around slowly. “You had such a face... And you scraped your teeth with such a force...” Princess, I think, even shivered. “What happened?” “A-a. Happens sometimes. “Because of the “happy” memories.” Waving away lamely, I feigned something like a smile. “In a nutshell, three-four invitations, if you really want to see me for some reason - and let’s give the topic a rest. “Fine.” Princess looked at me with some strange gaze after a few seconds and sighed quietly. “Sorry, I resembled you something unpleasant, while not even wanting to do it... I didn't want to sadden you.” “It’s nothing. Sometimes useful. It resembles... Something important.” I shook head indefinably. “May I know what?” Tia lifted her head. “And yeah, I wanted to invite you on a breakfast and put in touch with a beautiful pony at the same time. Let’s go?” I nodded positively. Alicorn, smiling for a moment, put the invitations onto the table, which, under her dazed stare, scraped and tilted from the weight. Celestia looked at me meaningfully, and I chuckled, shrugging with wings in answer like: “It just happened, there’s nothing to do with that”. Princess, chuckling distrustfully and shaking head, turned around and went into the hallway, encouraging me to follow her with a gesture. “By foot? Not teleportation?” I was surprised, catching up to her. “I asked to set the table in the small dining room of this closed - for the time being - wing. Make a little walk, don't you mind? And after all, I thought, that teleportation would be unpleasant for you.” “Fine. Let’s go.” I nodded shortly, and we, accompanied by the booming echo of the empty hallway, started to clatter with shoes on the polished stone. She's again... “Would be unpleasant for you”... She cannot be worried about this, can she?! A-a, God damn it... Although... Maybe she wanted to ask something?... “Would you tell it?” Tia suddenly looked at me after a dozen of steps “What?” I didn't understand. “About the important things that bad memories recall to you.” She refreshed my memory. Yeah, she asked about it, didn't she... Important things? About Nightmare, being betrayed and left behind to die on the Moon. And I, in a manner, owe her for my second chance in her body. “No.” “It’s better if I wouldn't.” I shook my head. “Sorry.” “I understand.” Tia nodded slowly. We reached the double door in silence. Princess, opening it, stepped back, nodding to me invitingly and offering to enter first. I hope it’s not because of a landmine or because of that hatch, that was made specially for me... Entering, I, with some surprise, met the purple eyes’ gaze of the known pink alicorn, already sitting behind a table. Her gaze was beggarly-frightened. “Don't tell her anything! Be surprised of me! We haven't met!!!” Was clearly seen in the “soul's mirrors” of one loving mare. I chuckled, narrowing my eyes. “But maybe?...” Cadence shook head in panic hardly visible. “No! Please!” An eyebrow arched in feigned thoughtfulness. “What's in it for me?” Her eyebrows are up and her ears are slightly drooping. “Everything you want! Beg you - be wordless!” I sigh quietly in a demonstrative tone. “Fi-ine, alright, be it.” Wide happy smile, straight pink ears. “Yay! Thanks!” “Nightmare Moon, let me show you my niece, Her Excellency Princess Mi Amore Cadenza.” Celestia demonstrated the known alicorn to me ceremonially and with a proud smile,. “Alicorn?!” I feigned a surprise and narrowed eyes like a predator, going round the table with a shark's speed and coming closer to a bit lost Cadence. “If I remember correctly, you were complaining, that pregnancy is a seldom thing, not enough of alicorns... And she’s here? She's a clueless kid, she is not even a hundred years old!” Not holding myself, I taunted the Princess of love. “From where?” “Clueless kid” stared daggers at me from under the puckered brows and turned sulky. I barely held the coming out laughter. “She wasn't born as an alicorn, Nightmare.” Tia came closer, looking at the dummy up niece with slight worriment. “But her deeds opened such a way for her...” Celestia briefly paraphrased what I’ve already known from Cadence, which gradually sided with us and added some details from herself, and she, in my opinion, played her first meeting with me quite convincingly. “So, there are dozens of potential alicorns, walking somewhere in the country, but you still sigh about scarce amount of our race?...” I scratched my brow thoughtfully with a shoe, hearing the mares’ tale and putting an empty salad bowl aside at the same time. I hate local breakfasts - green only... “Dozens, Nightmare. But Equestria is not the same as it was a thousand years ago: there are millions of pony, not tens of thousands as back then. I look for. Cadence do it as well. And I hope, that you would not refuse to help us when you're back to normal. But... It's not even a needle in a haystack - it's one concrete grain of sand on a beach. “I can only hope, that my quest will be successful sooner or later, but alas, I can't count on it.” Looking thoughtfully at her reflection in the polished side of the teapot, Celestia sighed wearily and drooped. “I guess so.” I agreed with her words. “Furthermore, if only two look for them, at the same time sparing most of the time to run the country... What about delegate authority? You can order unicorn to look for it... Or?...” I stopped, remembering the pink alicorn's story. “Alas. Whatever this... Initiation was, but unicorns are not able to find it, as the Cadence's medical examination experience showed, when she's only got her cutie mark.” Celestia confirmed my guess. “Moreover, I’m still not sure whether every alicorn can see it or this ability is a part of my own talent only...” “Well, you can leave the throne to someone... Another alicorn, one of the older ones who's around... to go into an exi... I mean, on wanderings, looking for ponies, ready to Ascend..." I suggested with the most thoughtful expression, but seeing Tia's elongated face, I couldn't stand it and laughed. The Princess of the Sun, after a few moments, suddenly joined. Cadence narrowed down to just a smile. “O, Nightmare!...” Celestia laughed one last time. “You don’t know my desire to pass down Equestria in someone's reliable hooves and go away in a far back-country, where I can live in silentness and calmness, not worrying about anything. But who can take care of my little ponies? Protect them from hunger, coldness, calamities, enemies? Who will be able to - and, most importantly, want to - do it day after day? Who will get through, won't destroy everything, that I have been creating for centuries? Yes, Equestria is not perfect, but it's still wonderful! No famine and wars, big epidemics are a thing of the past, poverty, that was a usual thing like three hundred years ago, almost vaporized as a fact as well! Unfortunately, there are still prisons, orphanages, ponies still sometimes die at the height of their powers from illnesses, natural disasters, accidents and even from predators. There’s still inequality, fault line, there are unhappy and poor ones... I haven't fixed everything in time. And some is even beyond my powers to be fixed... But I still happy to see Equestria in that way - because it seems, that only a short time ago, the country was filled more with sorrow and injustice, not with happiness and joy. And I don't have the right to let it go back to these times. So I wouldn't be able to sign away the cold and unwieldy throne to another Princess for a long time.” Celestia smiled with sadness. “I was merely joking.” I smiled awkwardly. I didn't anticipate such a red hot reaction. “And I was not.” White alicorn looked right at me. “Equestria is my life, Nightmare. And I will break sweat for it to prosper even more.” “It’s strange that I’m alive, then.” I chuckled. “You have to be very lucky to find even more dangerous threat to your ponies...” “But the fact of us, talking with each other calmly and peacefully for such a long time, says, that my decision is right, not your strange mania of depicting yourself as a threat to Equestria and as my enemy.” Tia interrupted me smoothly. “Though not now, but you can become a powerful ally of my country and... My friend.” Cautiously, with low-lying waiting, pink eyes of the Princess of the Sun looked at me. I shivered. It’s hard to not believe you, it's hard to not love you, you calmly and softly overcome my distrust to politicians generally and my personal to you... You just seem to be a good and kind pony... Or, maybe, you really are such a pony. And in this case I could consider it as happiness to call you my friend, but... Luna. You don't want to see what she's all about, do you. You had been missing your sister for so long - and this love is stronger than any logic. Will you believe me, when I... No, not now. So if Luna is alive - I can't call you my friend, Tia. Because I would not have the right to let you down, and I don't know if I will be able to... “Joking, right?” Making decision, I feigned a distrustful face markedly. “Of course, there can be everything in this world... But we - friends?! This... Was it tea in my cup?” I looked at my half-emptied bowl demonstratively . “Princess Celestia always treats feelings very responsible, Nightmare Moon.” Pink alicorn looked at me harshly. “She doesn't make jokes with these things. Are you alright, auntie?” Cadence turned to the senior Princess. “Yes. Thanks, Cadence. Honestly, I wasn't anticipating any other answer different from this context.” Tia smiled sadly. “Alas, Nightmare can hardly trust anyone...” I chuckled skeptically. You are not “anyone” - Princess, don't juggle it. “This is mostly the reason why I invited you to join our breakfast.” Celestia continued. “Unfortunately, Nightmare attends Canterlot rarely, but I hoped, that the Princess of love can help her with something: even if it's just a kind word in a letter. And with mere knowledge, that there’s one more pony, who doesn't think of her as a monster.” White alicorn smiled sadly. “I’ll be glad to support if I can.” Cadence nodded, looking at me. “I’m doing alright so far.” I moved with a wing. I don't know what she can help me with and why. And I don't know how to treat her as well. On one hand - it's another pair of Celestia's eyes and ears near me. On the other hand... Exactly, “another”. A pair more, a pair less... And Tia herself gives a very convincing impression of a sweet and kind pony, who, moreover, has no reason to do anything bad to me. Damn it. How long have I thought otherwise? This sunbutt cannot be not trusted, God damn it... ... “I hope your stay in Canterlot was not too onerous for you, Nightmare?” Tia addressed to me. She, I and Cadence strolled leisurely across the landing pad. The chariot was already ready, but, apparently, they didn't want to let me go without talking. As for the question... The memorable conversation with Tia really helped, I still felt empty and sad, but calm. In addition, I was enriched by several useful exercises in magic, an interesting and perhaps even useful introduction to Cadence, as well as four cards in gold - invitations to the Gala - and the injunction not to wear armor to the ball under any circumstances. It wasn't very clear how to treat Tia at the end of the day. She... fascinates. A friendly attitude, a pleasant soft voice, a polite manner of speech, a sense of humor... It was beginning to seem, that she wanted to become my friend, despite the absurdity of such a conclusion. Honestly, I wouldn't be against if she really is like that and doesn't play with loaded dice with me. But maybe... Nah. Or... A-a, I don't know, damn it... “Everything is fine.” Shaking head to get rid of the thoughts, I answered to stop the prolonged pause. “Really? Forgive my indelicacy, but what happened with the table in your chamber then?” Tia mused. Cadence lost her pace and looked at me in panic. A-a, sunny one thinks, that the table was a prey of hysterics, as it was with the pillow... “Fell onto it. By an accident.” Answering vaguely, I looked at the pink alicorn with a chuckle. “Not a big deal.” Celestia smiled and eased. Cadence exhaled quietly and emphasized a thankful nod in a barely visible manner. We were walking silently for a few seconds, clopping with shoes on the stone together and drawing gazes of a pair of pegasus-chariot drivers. “Say hello to Twilight from me, okay?” Cadence smiled a bit sadly. “I haven't see her for a while... Just can't get there.” Pink alicorn sighed. “Yeah...” I nodded, but got distracted and looked at Tia. “Twilight!” She exclaimed with me simultaneously. “I think I haven't sent invitations to her!” “Invitations to Gala?” Cadence specified rhetorically. “Send, please! She dreamed so much about it!” “Certainly. And won't forget anymore, I promise.” The Princess of the Day smiled. “Unfortunately, I have a conference right now, so I’ll do it a little bit later...” I thought for a second about telling her to send six at once, but quickly dismissed the idea: three ponies would get them from me, and Twilight shouldn't be deprived of a friendship lesson. Let things drift. “Alas, but I have to go. Nightmare, forgive me if this visit hasn’t left the best impressions.” Celestia looked at me. “Alas, my duty as a ruler sometimes obliges me to make not the most honest and correct decisions. I just hope you're not too offended by it.” Is it the truth spell she's so worried about, or the visit itself? A-a, I won't get it anyway. I tried already... Or maybe that her spell is not a spell, but a natural passive ability, m? This assumption made me feel a little uncomfortable again. “I am sorry, that this visit was in such a situation, but still, it was good to see you. Oh... Honestly - even a month ago I couldn't have thought about saying something like that about Nightmare Moon herself.” Tia chuckled, shaking her head. “It's all the more surprising now to say it from the heart. Write to me if something bothers you, don't be coy. I hope we’ll meet soon again, but now, unfortunately, I have to go. Goodbye, Nightmare. Good luck at the road!” The snowy alicorn took a step and embraced me briefly quicker than I could react, and disappeared in a patting flash of teleportation with a wink. “See ya, Princess.” I said slowly into the space.
27. With Such Friends...The day began unusually today: Twilight woke me up and, dancing with impatience, beckoned me to watch the sunrise. To my sleepy bewilderment, the unicorn explained, that it was a rare occurrence and a sign of Princess Celestia's special good mood, as was the sunset. At other times there have even been generations of ponies who have never seen such a thing! When I realized I couldn't fall asleep now, I sighed and followed the enthusiastic Twi out to the balcony. “Hi, Spi-i-ike.” I couldn't hold a yawn, saying hi to the already settled dragon. “Ehm... Hi.” He replied hesitatingly. The ponies seemed to be in high spirits - the street was unusually... crowded for such an early hour. I spotted a few photographers, a couple of painters with easels, hurrying to paint a majestic picture of the rising Sun, that colored the horizon in scarlet, orange, and pink. It’s beautiful, after all... ... I went out of the tree house light this time. It was a bit unaccustomed without armor and bags, but now I just wanted to walk around a bit and then turn off to the lake to pay attention to flying. It had been a busy day yesterday... the last couple of days, even. Tia had made me nervous, of course, but all in all - it was probably not a bad trip. I also shook off four invitations from the big white horse, which last night gloriously lifted my spirits when, with the injunction "Mum's the word!", I handed them out one by one. “It will be a surprise to the ponies, when they all end up coming to the party." I smiled contentedly. Yeah... Pinkie was hugging my ribs and they crunched, Rarity was jumping around, like she was Sweetie, getting a cutie mark, losing all her glossiness, Fluttershy... Fluttershy was silent and hiding in her mane - I just had to leave the invitation on the table. Well, I had had expected something like that from her... Narrowing eyes, I switched my eyes towards the Sun. It’s good to walk alone: no one comes close, doesn't interrupt thoughts... My thoughts, meanwhile, drifted to my perennial problem: how to occupy myself and how to start earning a living on my own? The only thing I could do right now is to be a bouncer at a club: big, scary... And I had no other advantages, if you really think about it. And I won't have until I get my magic back. I can work on the farm now, of course, but... “Oh! Flincess!” I was brought back to reality by an enthusiastic child's voice. I lowered my gaze to find a lemon-colored little earthpony with a green mane and the same eyes, looking up at me admiringly from under her hair. "You have me confused with someone else." I chuckled quietly back. “Nope!” The filly shook her head. “You have the forn! And fings! Mean you're Flincess!” I looked around for her parents, who for some reason hadn't rushed to get away, let alone let the baby come to me. The familiar image from my previous life made me cover my face with the tip of my wing for a moment, rolling my eyes. With their backs to me, the two mares, a blue pegasus and a cream-colored earthpony with a green mane and tail, in which the kid's mother was easily identifiable, were slowly strolling down the street. The clumsy mothers were chatting with each other about something incredibly important, completely losing sight of the real world and not paying attention even to the rapidly emptying alleyway. I could immediately imagine how, a few minutes ago, the little pony, languishing with boredom, was fidgeting with these chattering girls, sadly persuading them to do something like this: “Mom, let’s go! Mom, I want to eat! Mom!” “Bored?” I looked at the filly sympathetically. “Yeah.” She sighed sadly. “I want go home... But mom met auntie Stream again and doesn't want to go home... And I’m tired!” I wonder, if I take her with me now and take her wherever I want, how soon will they notice? Leaving a child unattended... They're asking for it. “Tired, you say? Do you want a ride?” I smiled at the pony. “You would be able to tell everyone, that you had a ride on a Princess!” “Feally-feally?!” She looked at me, her eyes rounded, with great disbelief. “Of course.” I nodded seriously. “So?” “Yeee! Wantwantwant! Can I? Wow!” The earthpony started to jump around me. “I’ll have a ride on a Flincess! I’ll have a ride on a Flincess! I’ll have a ride... Phew... on a Flincess!” “Hold on!” I picked her up with magic and, with a joyful squeak, carefully transferred her to my back, lifting wings slightly, so that the filly would not fall accidentally. “Oh! So high!” She was on my back, stomping back and forth, and resting her hooves on the raised wing. “Mom, mom, I’m riding a Flincess! Mom! Mom! I have a ride on a Flincess! Mom, do you hear?!” The pony cried out enthusiastically. I couldn't hold back a smile. I lifted my wings higher - as a precaution - to catch up with the chatterboxes, occasionally smiling at the little filly's reaction to what was going on. “Auntie Flincess, you're so tall! You can even look out of the window! O, let’s look out? Let's? This one!” The little one rubbed my mane and pointed her hoof at the first-floor window of someone's home. “Let’s go.” I snickered shortly and moved away from the road onto lawn. “Unfair!” The mare was indignant and shook her mane in displeasure when we approached: the window was curtained from the inside. “Why do they hide from evelyone?” “Not from everyone, you know...” I prolonged, looking at the window for a second as well. “Sunny! “O-oh...” I heard a muffled half-squeal, half-sob from the side of the road. “O, mum! Look, Flincess giving me a ride!” The little filly was finally pleased by the parental attention. I put on an indifferent expression on my face, and turned slowly - deliberately - towards the shocked mare. She didn't run away, nor did she take her tear-filled, gray-blue eyes from me, which were a mix of desperate pleading and extreme horror. So, chatterbox, you don't have so many kids that you have nowhere to put them, do you? Honestly - I want to tell you something "nice," but ... There's nothing good in the hyperprotection, too. She'll stop letting the girl out of the house, will not allow her to go out with friends, will drag her everywhere with her... Fine. How did she call her daughter? Sunny? “Sunny, do you want be home?” I turned head to the filly. It still amazes me, that I can look at my own back, albeit with one eye, without too much difficulty... “No!” Pony shook her head. “It's so afesome with you!” There was a muffled sob, coming from the adult mare. “Is it, mommy? Ehm... Mom?” The pony lost all her cheerfulness when she looked at her mother. “Mom, you hurt? A? Mom? Ehm... Auntie Flincess?” She gently tugged my mane. “Yes, Sunny?” “It's feally feally good wis you, but can I go to my mom?” The little pony stepped uncertainly on my back. “Of course.” I smiled with an edge of my lips and, picking her up with my telekinesis with a delighted squeak, gently lowered her to the ground. “Oh, so good! Thank you, auntie Flincess!” The pony tried to make a bow. “Goodbye!” “Goodbye, Sunny.” I couldn't hold a slight smile again. “Look after mom, so she wouldn’t... Get lost.” I erased any hint of emotions at the last words, looking in the filly's mother’s eyes with a heavy, gloomy look. Judging by the way she shrank, a certain educational effect was achieved. “Okay, I fill loog after.” Sunny nodded to me seriously and, turning, ran to her mother. I, chuckling quietly, turned around and moved away down the road. “Mom, I want to eat! Mom!” It sounded behind me, causing me to smile again, which made the pegasus on the threshold of his house hurry back inside, shutting the door as quickly as possible. The smile turned into a chuckle. I turned around a few dozen paces after. The mare, clutching her daughter to herself like the most precious treasure in the world, was in tears, and the girl, not understanding anything, was trying to get out of her mother's embrace. I turned away hastily and walked towards the market. Don't rush away from your mother's embraces, Sunny. The day will come, when you'll want to feel them, but you won't be able to... ... As I approached the market, I noticed a hesitantly wriggling yellow pink-haired pony with bags on her sides at the edge of the square. A familiar sight... But why is she standing there? As if she had to go to the market, but very-very doesn't want to. I wasn't going to turn there, but sad Fluttershy is a likely opportunity to beat someone up. Just the thing to get rid of the gloomy thoughts... I pulled a more welcoming expression on my face and stepped closer, kicking my hooves into the sidewalk, so that the mare would hear my approach. “Hello, Fluttershy!” “Mom! Oh... Oh, sorry... I didn't not... O-oh!” The pegasus jumped, turning around and noting who exactly said hello. Who was I stomping for, one may ask? “Just don't fall, please!” I asked the mare as if with a tongue-twister, who, by the looks of her, was about to have her heart stopped from fright. “Sorry...” She whispered something, hiding behind her mane. I heard only the first word. “How are you doing?” I didn't give up to start a conversation. “...” The pegasus squeaked something quietly. I suppressed a sigh. Why are you such?.. Such! We had a normal conversation just yesterday! Well... Almost. Almost got to talk with each other, yeah... “Are you alright? I think you're standing here for a while already?” I made another attempt. “Well...” Sighing, the pony rustled something in reply into her pink mane. I couldn't hold it this time and sighed. What you gonna do? Yeah, she won't talk to me... But damn it, she doesn't stay here just because she's bored - something clearly wrong. I swept a quick, thoughtful glance over the environment. Wait... O! At the market, a familiar orange pony was fussing over one of the counters, filling it with apples from a cart. Great. She's the one to make Flutty talk. “Let’s go.” I moved towards Applejack, pushing Fluttershy in the same way with my wing at the same time. “Oops!.. M-m... Maybe... Well... Maybe it's better... M-m...” The mare, going next to me obediently, started to panic barely audibly. “We have to, have to. You need it above all.” I refused all insists. “Bye, sugarcube! Eat for you health!” As I approached, I heard AJ, admonishing the customer, who had interrupted the display for her sake. She nodded in response, turned, and when she saw me right in front of her, she jerked to the side, letting the bag out of her mouth. The apples rolled down the sidewalk. I walked around the hapless turquoise pony in a curve, and, under Applejack's gloomy gaze, headed for the counter. “Nightmare, help her! P-please. W-well... If you can, of course...” I glanced at Fluttershy in surprise, turned my gaze to the mare, catching the rolled apples with suspiciously glistening eyes, back to Fluttershy, looking at me with a begging look... “Fine. If you are asking to do it...” I gave up and lit the horn, picking up one of the fruits and levitating it under the nose of the sad little mare. She was surprised to see an apple before her, so she turned around and shivered, seeing me again. “Come on, pack it up.” I advised indignantly to this coward, nodding to the bag and getting the next apple. One was passed on by Flutty, another one - by one of the most courageous passerby. Passing the last apple on the mare, I took a step towards Applejack's counter. “T-thanks...” Sounded behind my back incoherently. “Ehm... Take it, please...” I turned around: the frightened pony held out one of the saved apples. “Get it to Fluttershy.” Waving away in thought, I nodded at the hesitatingly smiling mare and finally turned to Applejack. It seems, that she went out of the counter to help, but didn't come for some reason. “Greetings.” I nodded to the farmer. “Greetings, Nightmare...” She echoed, giving me a thoughtful look and then looking behind me, where, by the sounds of it, the turquoise filly was trying to hand an apple to desperately shy Flutty. “Don't you know why Fluttershy was standing at the market’s entrance for a while and was scared to go in?” The farmer looked at me perplexedly. “Nah... Listen, I just got here - the goods haven't been delivered yet, Mac should bring a second wagon soon... And what’s the matter?” “I’m curious too about the matter - but our shy friend hesitates to speak...” I cringed. “I hoped you knew.” “Hm...” AJ examined me with a strange look. “No, but if such a situation - will ask her. Maybe she needs help or somethin’... Howdy, Flutty, hi!” She waved with a hoof, drawing attention of the most embarrassed pegasus, holding an apple in her hoof. ... Argh! Damn it! Stood aside for AJ to get talking with Fluttershy, didn't touch anyone... And then came Big Mac with more apples... And brought another very “relevant” association right now, unwillingly forcing me to remember the damned equalogist with her “extraordinary effort”, fucking hell! As I turned away from the unloading stallion and shook my head sharply in an attempt to get rid of the intrusive image of me and Mac, moaning and shrieking, I felt my cheeks and ears flaming with indignation. And Applejack had to end her conversation with Flutty just now! The farmer came over, opened her mouth to speak, blinked in surprise, looked between me and her brother a couple of times, and stared at me grimly as she clenched her jaws with a clatter. “Hey... I understand, that you haven't had someone on the Moon for a while, but if you want a stallion to cover you well or something, don't look at my brother! Got it?! Maybe you really got over yourself and stuff, not just making fools of us, but be away from him for your better! He's a decent pony, not some...” A-a... I stared unblinking into space somewhere above AJ's hat, feeling my cheek twitch nervously and the gears in my head jamming with a grinding, one after the other... Ehm... But... E-e... How did she!.. I’m!.. “Hey, Nightmare, what’s up there?” “Yeah...” I nodded somnambulistically and turned around and headed for the market exit on wooden legs. “Listen, ‘kay... Sorry for being sharp, okay? Just, yeah... No, if you like Mac - date, you can, but only if it’s serious!” The ending "shell” caught up to me, forcing me to stumble on a plain spot. I shook my head sharply as I left the market and stepped to the curb, and quickly took a few deep breaths to get out of my stupor Now I know what it's like to fall out into the “blue screen”... In fact, it is hard to say what made me lose my temper more - the farmer's words or the reaction of my own body, which, judging by the slightly numb and wings, refusing to fold tightly at the sides, hinted, that it liked the idea of the stallion... “Nightmare, hey... I didn't want to hurt ya, really.” Applejack caught up to me. “Here, take at least that...” She handed three apples over to me, which were cunningly glued to the hoof. “I don't need it, I’m not offended.” I waved away reluctantly. “Just your brother... He recalled one association from the past. Not the one I wanted to remember ever... So I’m not going to date stallions at all. Okay, what?..” “So you like mares more, don't you?” The farmer interrupted me, shaking her head disapprovingly. “I hate you all, mares and stallions alike!” I fought off the earthpony gloomily, which was poking her nose not into her business. “And let’s end with this.” AJ, narrowing eyes, looked at me watchfully. “What happened to Fluttershy?” I got back to the initial topic. “That’s all you.” Farmer sniffed indignantly. “Of course I understand, that he asked for it, but he's not the only one who's heard your threats... Anyway, because of you, no one dares to sell anything more expensive than one bit to Fluttershy, and some of ‘em even say: “Take what you want and go away.” But she can't like that! But she hesitates to ask to up the price as well...” Intere-e-esting... “So Fluttershy is too shy to go for the food, and she's on short commons now, thanks to your effort." AJ finished her story with an undisguised reproach. “Got it.” Slowing, I prolonged thoughtfully. “I’ll think what I can do.” “Just don't beat someone up, would ya?” The earthpony glanced at me from under the hat. “Won't make promises.” I chuckled gloomily at the farmer. “All the best, Applejack.” I waved my wing as a goodbye, turned away from the counter. where AJ and I had slipped back to while we were talking unnoticed, and moved towards Fluttershy, who was hesitating aside. I honestly had no idea what to do about the situation. Well, yes, it was a mistake, but how to fix it? Should I stand the traders in the marketplace and yell at them all? Tell them, that a fair price, not a low one, is important to me? Well, yeah - they'll ask me what I think the fair price is ... What-what... Average! Normal! Man, it's just a bunch of general words, that everyone will twist the way they want to twist! That won't solve the problem... Or?.. A-a, damn it! I don't know! Fuck with them, be it! Do I owe Fluttershy? Yes. It's not hard to go out and buy for her, since she's embarrassed, especially since I don't know where to put myself anyway. Then I'll help her. I made my decision, and with a swift, decisive step I walked to the hesitating pegasus, that was digging at the ground with a hoof. “Let’s go.” I ordered shortly. “W-where?” The pony stepped back with indecision. “To your packages. You're hesitating - you could have just asked me.” I emphasized a slight smile. “Oh... M-m... A... But... Maybe...” Flutty tried to become smaller, hiding behind her mane again. “If you want - I can do it myself.” I shrugged with wings. “Just give me the list, bags, money and go home, or you can sit in that cafe.” I nodded at the corresponding sign. “...!” The pegasus squeaked barely audibly. “I got it...” I waved with a front leg hopelessly and took the bags off her with telekinesis. I looked inside, found a piece of paper in one, which turned out to be the list I was looking for, a wallet, and somehow put the standard shoulder bags around my neck. Uncomfortable, damn... “Oops!.. It’s... Not needed, I...” The pony tried to feign a decisive insist. “Come on, drink something.” I lifted my companion's front leg with my telekinesis and put the lighter purse on her hoof: I poured half the coins into my bag. I guess I have enough left over. “When I'm done, I'll look you up in that cafe. If I can't find you, I'll unload at your home. That's it, rest.” I pulled out the list and turned decisively towards the counters, letting a restrained smile creep onto my face as I did so. I was in no hurry today; helping Fluttershy wouldn't be hard, especially if I could scratch a lousy mood against someone in the process. The scene with Sunny and her mother suddenly hurt my heart... The memory immediately wiped the smile off my face. The market, meanwhile, was trying to live its usual life: touting, selling, pricing, buying, simply communicating... But all of this - trying not to attract attention. Mine attention. I just had to look at the golden pegasus with the dark purple mane who was selling all sorts of fruit, and he cut short his call to "come and buy fruits! The best and freshest!" and, feigning something remotely resembling a smile on his face, shrank behind the counter. The customer who had just come up to his shop, noticing the metamorphosis, turned around and, pale in the face, stepped back a few steps, signifying a bow and making an inviting gesture. I nodded at the unicorn's unusual greeting and hovered over the counter and its owner, engulfing the latter in my shadow: the Sun was shining from behind. Pegasus swallowed nervously. “G... G-good day, milady! How?.. It’s... How can a humble o-owner... Of this market shop help you?” The stallion panted, stumbling. “Greetings.” I nodded shortly. “Lemons. Two units. Pears. Five units. Bananas. Five units as well. “I-in a m-moment!” The salesman fussed as he put my order into paper bags. Hey, didn't know they had those. “H-here... It’s... You're welcome.” I moved the paper bags into the saddle bags and stared at the pegasus in silence. And? The pegasus flattened his ears and smiled again nervously. Not a great one. It was as if he wasn't going to say anything else. “How much?” I cut off the pause, that began to drag on. The stallion twitched. “Ehm... It's... N-nothing! It’s... It’s a g-gift! Gift, yes!” She squeezed out a plastic smile and swallowed nervously. “Are you sure?” I narrowed eyes. The merchant nodded his head very repeatedly. Suddenly, there were cautious steps behind me. Oh, a line. I didn't think anyone would dare... I glanced at the trembling stallion in front of me. You know, I would not persuade you, why should I make others wait? “One bit.” I stated with a sigh, tapping a coin onto the counter. Who's the evil Pinocchio to you? If you don't want it - I’m fine. In principle, I am satisfied with everything as it is... “N-nightmare! But... It's... Ehm... W-wrong...” In a quiet, shy voice, there was a sudden outcry from behind me, just as I was about to turn to leave. I looked back at the voice. Fluttershy was hiding behind her mane. Why didn't you sit there, ay?.. However... Hm, maybe it's even good, that she has come... “Fine. Then what’s not wrong?” I stepped back from the counter and made an inviting gesture. Come on, come closer, show the right way. Either you'll get over yourself and give a fair price, or your shyness will show me and yourself the correctness of my approach. “Ehm... Well... I...” The pegasus shrank and started to get back. “Yeah... It means I’m doing it right, yeah?” I pretended joy on my face, brazenly grabbed a pear off the counter, and took a big bite. It crunched. A hard sort, damn it. Don't like these. But sweet. “N-no!” Flutty squeaked and bit her lip hysterically. “Alas, I can't do it any other way." I moved with a wing, shoving the remaining half of the pear into my chaps. “So.” I finished chewing. “If you want to save these merchants from meeting me, you name a fair price. Or I'll come and help with the shopping.” Flutty stared at the ground in silence, her ears drooping sadly. I sighed as I approached the pegasus. “Fluttershy, listen... Back at the castle, you were the only one, who stood up for me, came out and told Celestia a “no”. Princess herself! For no one's wanted villain!” “Ehm... But... N-nightmare!..” "So why can't you tell that to a peddler at the bazaar? You can! They're not scarier than Princess.” “B-but... It’s, ehm...” “Different? It’s not, Fluttershy. You, I think, wanted to insist, that someone's life is not the same as a bag of fruits? It’s the same! It’s your life, yours and your animals, which had to be fed. I heard you have a bear? You know what is going to happen if you don't feed him with berries or honey, don't you?” The mare shivered and paled, nodding perplexedly. “So take the money and go save your animals from the hunger.” “I... Well... I... I’ll try...” The pegasus panted finally. “You're a good one, Kindness. You’ll make it, it's easy.” I tried to cheer her up, handing over the bags with goods and money back to their owner. “Nightmare! What about... Well...” She looked towards the recent store with fruits hesitatingly, seller of which is still watching me nervously. “He said it’s a gift.” I shrugged with wings. “B-but... It’s wrong!” “His product - he knows better.” I chuckled. “Ehm...” Flutty mused. “No, it’s... It's wrong, Nightmare!” Pony looked into the bag and extraordinary deftly extracted a few coins from it. “You can... Ehm... Give... Well... Give them to him? Please?” “As you wish.” I caught the money with magic. “Thanks...” The pegasus hastened to hide behind her mane, getting embarrassed for some reason. “I think I’ll go now, yes? Well...” “Goodbye, Fluttershy.” I nodded. I didn't hear the end of the sentence again, but I assumed I had answered correctly. The mare smiled shyly, turned a little hastily, and moved away. I smiled with corners of my lips in her wake, turned and, after a quick thinking, approached the fruit vendor, whose face clearly showed anger at himself for not getting out sooner. “Here.” I slapped a pile of coins onto the counter. “Also... A gift.” The stallion nodded in a hunted way. “And also... Do you know all the fellow traders here?” I looked in his eyes narrowly. “N-no, mi... Mistress.” He answered, stumbling and hastening to look away. “Means you’ll do.” I nodded to myself. “The mare I was talking to, Fluttershy, have you seen her? Be so kind to tell your colleagues, that you can't bargain with her: what she pays is what's right, got it?” “Y-yes, I g-got it, mistress!” The stallion started to nod like a dummy. “If she complains about being put before too low or too high prices, I'll break different places. As a gift. Is it clear?” “Y...Yes!” The trader swallowed fitfully. “I hope so. Don't mess things. Wish you the best.” I smiled with all my teeth before backing up. We’ll hope, that this question is closed... The sound of a fallen body was heard behind. Pathetic. ... When I left the market, I stopped in the shade of a tree: the morning chill had melted under the bright rays of the Sun, and it was gradually getting hot outside. In addition, the pegasi had dispersed all the clouds, and only a light breeze kept the world from turning into an oven. Did Tia move her light bulb closer or something? I chuckled, imagining writing a letter Princess, asking her to raise her light away from the surface. And, most importantly, they all seem to be normal, and I alone am hot: the passerby, fearfully sniffing past me, did not look covered by the heat, some even for a moment happily put their faces to the Sun, blissfully shutting their eyes. I sighed, and then I strolled my gaze lazily about my surroundings... and froze when my eyes caught a strange detail. There, a pony being shunned by passersby. Standing in the shadow of a house, looking at me. Not far, twenty meters away. The cloak - which is strange - with a deep hood, which is already suspicious. A gust of wind moved the hood, and the alicorn's keen eye allowed me a glimpse of the cloak-user's face as well. Eyes with narrow pupils and fangs, that flashed, when he... or rather, she... twisted unhappily, adjusting the hood. Interesting... I stepped towards the stranger’s way and... “Howdy, Night!” ...Recoiled back reflexively, when Pinkie Pie appeared before me as if just out of nowhere, like a screamer. “I’m so happy to see you! What are you doing here? I missed you so much!” She hugged me briefly in a hug, and she didn't let me get a word in edgewise at the same time. I hastily put my hoof to her lips in a "hush!" gesture, trying to see the mare in the robe at the same time. Pinkie, silent, followed my gaze. Ah, no use anymore. Disappeared - whoever she was. “I got what you're doing.” The pink-haired said, lowering voice. “Looking for a spy, aren't you? Sca-ary, in a cloak!” How did she?.. I stared at her. “Just a guess.” The mare smiled. “I nailed it, right? Really, I did?” “You did.” I grumbled, sighing. “She stood here, spying on me. A mare in a dark-blue coat with a hood. If my eyes didn't lie to me, she had eyes and fangs just like mine.” “Wow!” Pinkie stomped enthusiastically. “Maybe it’s a thestral! You know, these night ponies with bats-like wings! Cool! And also I don't know her since there are no thestrals in Ponyville! And it means that she's new and she needs friends! Interesting - is she here for a long time? O, o, I know! I have to introduce you to her! You need friends and she needs friends, and if you're similar, then...” “Hold your horses, Pinkie.” I asked. “I already have enough friends. But the reason why she was spying on me - this is where it gets interesting...” Especially in light of the fact, that thestrals, as far as I can tell, work for Luna... I don't like it... “You're mistaken, Night.” The earthpony shook her head, being serious after a moment. “You can never have too many friends, or, as you said, enough. All together is always better than alone.” I chuckled. Lack of friends may be sad, but it has the undeniable advantage of having no one to betray you. “And why do you think, that she was spying on you?” Pinkie looked at me. “She's a new one! Just looked around, maybe. You're an alicorn! I, during the first time - well, then, in the town hall - looked as well and thought: “Wow, an alicorn!” “Yeah. And the hooded cloak, because of which it's hard to tell if it's a pony or a griffon, she put on for rain." I nodded and demonstratively stared at the cloudless sky. I wonder - were there a dagger under the cloak? Is Luna just watching, or... is it going to finish what she started on the Moon? Now would be a good time - I can't do anything at all... I shuddered, acutely aware of my nakedness without the familiar weight of, though symbolic, but armor. ... The training session today was short and brought no joy at all: the damned thestral wasn't going out of my head, nor was the thought, that Luna needed living Nightmare even less, than Celestia did. As a result, when I found myself trying to stay away from the reeds and looking around nervously while drying my wings, I was finally disappointed in the idea of training today: even without nerves the process was shaky because of the heat... So, after doing only two takeoffs - and two swims - I returned to the library in a grim state of mind. Twilight wasn't there, Spike wasn't there, and there was no food, much to my disappointment. I munched sluggishly on some quick bread, cucumber, and tomato sandwiches and drank water, and realized, that it was useless and I needed to eat more normally. I didn't want to cook - and I didn't even know how to anymore: who needs to know how to fry spicy chicken wings or beef liver with onions and apples? I could have cooked buckwheat, but I didn't have any. There was rice, which always came out just disgusting if I'm before the table, and semolina and oatmeal, which I never considered to be food and therefore simply could not cook. With a sigh I looked around the kitchen one last time and went up to the second floor, and a corner there were: breastplate, helmet and my shoulder bags, and under them - my shoes, and everything of it was on a stool near the camping mat - thanks to Pinkie, if she hadn't done that, I would have been sleeping on the floor. I would have to go to some food service... But I would get dressed first: it would be calmer that way... Putting the gear on, I again was about to put on my helmet, but when I remembered how hot the sun was outside, I changed my mind. It's metal - it would get hot and my head would get fucking baked inside... Regretfully putting the helmet back, I hurried to leave “Golden Oak”. I had no idea where to go, though... I didn't know any café-restaurants, but I didn't need any anyways... Shall I go to Pinkie? But she only has sweets, and I wanted something more serious... Oh, whatever! I'll find something on the way! Waving away thoughts, I moved wherever the road takes me. ... “Hi, Scoot. No offense, but you look worse than I feel.” “Howdy...” She replied half-heartedly, matching the look on her face. In fact, that's why I approached her, when our paths accidentally crossed. The little one looked... not so good. She looked darker than a cloud. Not good. “You're pale as a ghost. Are you alright?” I didn't want to wander around. “Yes, of course! Everything is fine!” Scootaloo tried to feign a smile, answering in a hurry. Yeah, I trust you with all my heart. “Are you sure?” I looked at her watchfully. “Yes, I!... I don't know. No, I’m not sure.” She stated, sighing heavily, looking at her feet. “Do you need help?” I asked. This pegasus is not the person who would be left alone by me with her problems. “I’ll make it myself!” She barked. “Yeah?” I narrowed eyes. Kinda doubtful. “What has even happened?” Scootaloo cringed, choosing to remain silent. Where is she coming from, by the way? It's a relatively new street, as far as I know, and it's not really built up yet. It was mostly laid out for the sake of a rather large hospital, clearly "for future" for the town... Wait... There's a bag of apples, dangling from the base of the pegasus’ wing. There aren't many options, in that case: isn't it the bar down the street that she's carrying them from? “Dash?” I assumed, and, judging by the way the little pegasus drooped, I was right. “Yeah.” The interlocutor sighed, realizing, that it’s useless to keep silent. "I went to check on her after school, and I brought her some apples and stuff, and she... Anyway, she doesn't want to see me anymore, like I came to see you there, after that, well... Incident. And she won't teach me how to fly anymore, it seems." Scoot hung her head. "And she doesn't want to make peace either... And..." The filly kicked a stone on the road, which flew rustling into the bushes. “It's all right, I'll think of something.” The pegasus' voice, whose eyes gleamed suspiciously, treacherously trembled at the last words. H-horse sausages! You're Trash - not Dash! I can imagine how the kid feels right now, just sent away by her idol and refusing to teach her how to fly, even with her problem! While we were silently tapping our hooves on the road, I tried to think hard about what I could do. The only thing I could think of was to go to the painted scumbag and tell her, that if she wouldn't teach her how to fly and Scootaloo didn't fly, I would break her wings and tell her, that she did it herself! Scoot doesn't fly - you will walk on foot as well. “Cool”, damn it. But I’m afraid no one would like it. But do I even care, hey? Nevertheless, I'd better leave that option for last. It would be good to find someone knowledgeable as a coach instead of this empty-headed... “Has the summer school season started already? How's school going?” I tried to change the subject to something neutral, realizing, that I was unlikely to come up with a good idea. The pegasus, who has calmed down a bit during the silence, was gloomy again. What the hell happened again... Ah, damn it! That conversation of ours slipped my mind! Judging by the reaction, it didn't work, if it didn't make it worse at all. “So-o...” I prolonged. “A conversation didn't help?” “It did... Tiara and Spoon now pass around me on the next street.” Scootaloo chuckled sadly. “Today they pestered a new one - Apple Bloom, I think her name is - and one look was enough for me to make them go away! And the new girl... Anyway, those troublemakers stay away from me now. Most of my acquaintances, too. Even Cheerilee doesn't call me to the blackboard and doesn't reprimand me when I'm late! And... And now Sweetie is afraid of me, too, like everyone else... And I... And I...” The little pegasus inhaled frantically and held her head up to hold back her tears. I picked her up silently with my telekinesis and turned off the road onto the grass, where I lay down and covered the poor filly with my wing. A fleeting surprise at my action, it seems, even helped her calm down a little - there were still tears in her eyes along with extreme bewilderment, but Scoot did not allow them to spill. Yeah... The conversation seemed to help so much that the cure was worse than the disease. I can't remember exactly the canon, but I think the only real friends the orange pegasus had were the Crusaders and Rainbow. And now, it turns out, she's all alone ... Bastard, I fucking knew it wouldn’t be a happy end! Though I didn't even anticipate something so close to that. “Hey...” The mare started to fuss under the wings. “Here, take an apple. They're sweet!” She held the fruit out to me. “Thanks.” I got the thing with magic and ate half of it with one bite. Food! The apple was truly beyond one's imagination. Sad it ended too fast... “Thank you!” She got out of the wing. “I’m good. And yeah...” Scootaloo looked around cautiously. “Don't hug me anymore, good? If they see it... I will be a wuss, who likes all this tenderness and mumbling...” I laughed, for which I was rewarded with the look of a comically pouting filly, which only added to my amusement in this way. It was her "I'm all grown up and tough!" expression that looked incredibly funny. “What’s so funny?” She grumbled, being offended. “I just imagined how someone tries to name me soft wuss for my love to hug...” I got away. Scootaloo giggled, but still looked at me with bewilderment. “A... Do you really like this tenderness?” “As the mood takes.” I shook my head indefinably. “And with whom.” “Nah.” The kid shook head. “This is for pathetic...” I stared at her wordlessly. “Ooops, well, I mean... This is not what I meant!” She became confused, realizing the said. “Well, I mean, Dash said... So...” Scootaloo drooped again. Damn it! “I can go to her and explain how much wrong she is.” I proposed. “No, it won't help.” The little mare sighed. “She won't listen to you...” “Doesn't listen - will feel it.” I naked my teeth promisingly. “Don’t!” Scoot recoiled back with fear. “I mean... Rainbow is really cool! She's just sick right now, so she's... When she gets better, we'll make up!” Yeah, with a condition not to come near me again, with some kind of "Prove that you're my friend and not hers" or something like that. Maybe I'm exaggerating a little bit... “Okay, it’s your business.” I shrugged with wings. “But if you do - call me. I’ll make peace with you two - even if she doesn't want to.” “No one makes peace by crow hop.” She insisted confidently. “Thanks, of course, but I’ll do it myself!” The pegasus shook her head determinately. I smiled and extended my wing in her direction, but Scoot deftly dodged without letting myself to scratch on her head. “Hey!” An indignant look was addressed to me. “Okay, I won't.” Stopping a chuckle with force, I folded the wing and got on my feet. “What happened between you and Sweetie?” “A-a...” Scoot waved with a leg with sadness. “It's the same as with everyone else, I guess. It's all that talk... No, don't get me wrong!.. You gave them a good scare: "Scootaloo, don't forget to sacrifice for me!” The pegasus parodied the ominous voice comically. “But it looks like someone saw it, and then spread it all over town! Everyone thought you'd let me go and demanded, that I must find a victim for you before Nightmare Night, a pony to go to the Moon instead of me! So... no one wants to be that pony. Sweetie as well...” “Sorry.” I sighed. “We tried our best - you know the rest...” “Cool phrase.” The mare smiled fleetingly. “And... Still, thank you. It's been a long time since I've had a proper break because of these...” I turned away for a second and cringed. Scoot can pretend, that everything is fine, as long as she wants to - it wouldn't fool me. There's a problem - and I have to fix that. And I think I even know what to start with. “I know Sweetie's big sister. And I have an idea how to get you two together again.” “Don’t!” Scootaloo looked at me frighteningly. “It’s better if I do it myself!” “Don't worry, Scoot, no one's going to be hurt.” I winked at the pegasus. “Nah, still, it’s better for you to not do it.” She shook her head. “If you force her to be friends with me - yourself or through Rarity - it's not friendship - it's some gibberish.” Stubborn as a tank. This is why I can't just turn around and go away. “Nothing like that. The idea is simple: if Sweetie is afraid of me, then I think, that it can be fixed by simply visiting Rarity’s house. It’s hard to be scared of the one, who talks cutely over a cup of tea with your sister, right? I just need the time, when Sweetie Belle returns home.” “Well... Fine.” Scoot gave up. “She stayed in the school today after lessons to do homework, and I... A-a...” The pegasus waved away disappointedly. “Generally, I can't say for sure, of course, but usually Sweetie is there for an hour or hour and a half if she stays there. So she is either home or will be soon. I think half an hour is maximum, not later.” “Good. Thanks!” I nodded at the filly with a smile. “Don't mention it...” She waved away again. “Okay, off I go. See you soon, Scoot. Don't worry, I’ll bring back your friend.” I winked at the mare as a goodbye. “See you soon!” She waved with a wing as a reply. I smiled briefly again, turned around, and headed in the direction of "Carousel". Damn it, I still have not eaten! Heck... “Hey...” A sound went into my back. I turned around to the shyly hesitating pegasus. “I... Well, thanks for doing this for me... Well... Well, it’s better for me to go, farewell!” Scoot said in a hurry and hastened to leave, blushing. I followed her with a long stare. You're a good pony, Scootaloo. Don't worry, I’ll get your friend back somehow. And... And I think I've just got an idea of how to help you get flying. ... “Hi, Rarity! Are you busy?” I announced my arrival to the owner of “Carousel”. Judging by the smells inside, she was cooking something. My stomach, to my sluggish indignation, immediately hinted, that it would be a good idea to stay longer and taste the results of the unicorn's labor. “Oh, greetings, Nightmare!” Rarity looked out of the kitchen. “Come in, please! I’m always happy to see you!” She nodded to herself behind her back and hurried back, reacting to some suspicious hissing. I wiped my shoes on the rug by the door, and followed into the kitchen. It's good to be here in Equestria when things come to dirt and dust... The aboriginals don't understand their happiness, they have nothing to compare it to, but I get high from it. Sometimes I get a feeling, that ponies don't get dirty at all. No, it sticks, of course... But to get seriously dirty you have to get into the sand with wet feet, for example, or to plunge into the thick sticky mud in the forest after the rain, I do not know... I remember being very surprised, when after the first training I tried to wash my hooves before eating: half a day in dust and sand - and water from feet is almost transparent, not the expected muddy-gray. In general, there is definitely some "it's magic" here. “Sorry, I have to be distracted sometimes." Rar smiled at me a little embarrassed as she picked up a pot of some brew and wiped it with a rag at the same time. Not looking. How? I want that! “What can I do for you?” The mare turned her attention to me, fixing the problem. “Just wanted to stop by. And ask something as well.” “Of course, go ahead! Take a sit. Tea? Or maybe you'd wait for the supper? It's almost done.” I can't figure out how this pony manages to combine the inherent arrogance and snobbery of aristocracy - a pathological fear of getting her hooves dirty or messing up her hair - and a concern for other people's problems. It seems, that a pony with this kind of behavior should only value the magnificent and inimitable self - but no... “I wouldn't refuse.” I nodded thankfully, getting rid of the fore shoes and making myself comfortable at the table. “And the question... May seem unusual to you: what do you think my cutie mark means? Which talent do I have?” “Hm?” Rarity raised her eyebrows and stared thoughtfully at my croup as she walked around the table. I fidgeted on my chair, suppressing the urge to somehow hide from the stare. It's uncomfortable a bit... “If I'm not mistaken, dear, I saw the same cutie mark being born by Her Highness Princess Luna... Do you think you have the same talent? No, no, rather, you think your talent, despite the same markings, is different, but you don't know what it is, do you?” The unicorn looked at me thoughtfully. “Well - yes.” I nodded and stared thoughtfully into the steaming mug placed in front of me. “I don't know what to do - and it bothers me. I decided, that since I didn't have my own ideas, maybe someone from the outside could tell me something.” There was a problem, really - I couldn't see what I could do here point-blank. The presence of the cutie mark, in my situation, was more of a disadvantage: it exists, but what it means is unclear. The position of managing the Moon and dreams is still occupied, I would like to earn money now - how much can I be like that?.. In general, though this question served now more as an excuse to stop by, but the answer to it was also needed. “Sorry, Nightmare, but I’m afraid I can barely give you any advices.” Rarity drooped her ears with sadness. “Except to say that you shouldn't concentrate so much on your talent, looking for an occupation that is necessarily related to it. I am a fashion designer and I love my job, although that is not my talent. It's probably closer to being a jeweler - if not even a miner.” “Hm?” I feigned a surprised look. I know, of course, but I think surprise would be appropriate now. And I wonder what she's going to say... “My talent is finding, extracting and processing precious stones. Of course, I am not an expert in the artful jewelry cutting, though I could probably master it... But the skills I have are more than enough to decorate the dresses I make. And without too much boasting I will tell you that my dresses are wonderful and brilliant!” Rarity did some kind of dance move on emotions. Looked elegantly... “By the way, Nightmare! I just have to make you something for a holiday!” The unicorn looked at me delightfully. “Don't do it.” I moved back a bit from this excited person. “Unless you make armor... Why don't you tell me how did you get your cutie mark?” “I’ll do it, it’s a necessity!” The designer smiled. “You have nothing to wear! You’ll stay after the supper: I’ll take the measurements for the dress.” She ordered “You must shine!” Dress?! And she goes the same way... As if I hadn't enough with Tia?.. Even setting aside... uh... some, shall we say, reluctance to wear such a thing - what's the use to me of this expensive shiny rag?! Especially since I'd probably have to sell my kidney to pay for it... I'd rather sell my kidney for full lats. Blackened, engraved and with a scary horned helmet... “I don't need dresses!” I moved into refusal. “First of all - they’re not practical, second of all - I don't have money to pay you for it!” “What money, Nightmare?” The unicorn became indignant. “I won't take even a bit after yesterday from you! And dear, you're also forgetting - you're an alicorn! And also very famous! I’ll be covered with gold when everyone goes to me for an exclusive! A greater fortune, in fact, would be only to make a dress for Her Highness Princess Celestia herself!” Rarity rolled her eyes dreamily. “You're putting aside one sma-a-all thing.” I chuckled. “I’m the infamous alicorn.” “This is where you're mistaken, dear.” The mare smiled anticipatively. “This, in fact, would only draw more attention: to create a garment, that would satisfy the "fearful and cruel" Mare in the Moon herself, who, for the slightest flaw in it, would send its maker to the Moon...” “Are you recruiting me as a model or what?” I chuckled. “Hm...” Rarity - surprisingly - looked at me with a sharp-nosed gaze, stepping around to the side. Tilted her head slightly, assessing what she saw. It made me feel a little uncomfortable. As if she was asking the price... I have a bad feeling... “I'm afraid they won't hire you permanently." The unicorn sympathized sincerely as she returned to her seat at the table a few dozen seconds later. “You have a very... Unique model. The word "ravenous" even begs to be used. But I already have a couple of ideas, that would go perfectly with it! It could make a whole new collection! O-o!.. And you'll show it off!!! And then!..” “Don't get too excited, ay?” I asked the modeler with a certain apprehension, who was losing her mind. She's going too fast and too high. My toothy face will be on the covers of magazines, and journalists and crowds of fans will be chasing in the blink of an eye. “A? Oh, sorry.” Rarity became confused. “But... But I really just figured out what style to create for my new collection! It would really suit you!” “No!” I shook my head. “Well, unless your dress can protect me at least from a good kicking of the hooves from an acceleration run. And it would be good if it withstands a stab.” The unicorn blinked in confusion, looking nowhere. I grinned triumphantly, finished my tea in a gulp, and crunched the last of the biscuits I had left. “But... But why?!” My interlocutor got back into reality, looking at me with a puzzled gaze. “Why one needs clothes? For protection! From enemies, from the cold or heat, from prying eyes at least." I explained as a matter of course. It's not that I think beauty is completely unimportant... But it is secondary without a doubt. What good is a nice jacket if it doesn't keep me warm and windblown? Why do I need beautiful patent leather shoes, which do not hold water and in which the top is covered by snow, if for the same money you can get immortal army boots, in which you can go through pools, mud, snow, and you even can give a good kick to some mutt? It makes sense to look at beauty only when you choose among the things, that met the more important requirements. “But don't you want to look beautiful? To catch the eye, to fascinate...” “No.” I interrupted the unicorn, shaking my head again. “I look beautiful even without a dress, and the unwanted eyes at me are not my desire. If your dress brings nothing but beauty - I don't need it. I'd rather admire the craftsmanship of its creator and admire it on another mare." I tried to smooth things over. “Applejack with a horn and wings.” Rarity sighed sorrowfully, waving her hoof hopelessly at me before she went back to the table. “But she's just a mere farmer, but you?..” She asked. Even though said with irony, but I can feel it in guts - I touched the unicorn's feelings. Shit. “At least she's a farmer, but I’m a pathological loser with no job, no money, and no certain status." I muttered back. We went silent. “Sorry if I said something bad.” I apologized, getting over the awkwardness. “It’s me who must be sorry.” The mare smiled a bit sorrowfully. “I guess you don't have time for this now. Don't know how to live on, and here's me, poking nose with my dresses...” Suddenly, with a menacing roar, my stomach reminded me of its plight, making me gloomily squint at my empty belly. Damn, I had not eaten enough, for the apple from Scootaloo and the tea and cookies from Rar were of little help... “Oh, sorry, Nightmare! I'm a terrible hostess!” Rarity got up, blushing. Before I had time to open my mouth, the unicorn set the table in a flash: steaming fresh soup, salad, bread, spices, a bunch of flowers in a vase, cutlery, and a white napkin tied neatly around the hostess' white neck. She held out the other to me. “Ehm... Thanks.” I glanced around the table, picked up the offered napkin, and tucked the edge of it behind my breastplate. “Well, you have to tie them on your neck.” Rarity remarked cautiously, causing me to sigh. Another one... “My telekinesis is only enough to keep the spoon from passing my mouth, and even that is difficult." I muttered, picking up a slice of bread and sending it into his mouth as a whole. Food! “Oh, sorry...” “Not a big deal. Enjoy your meal, Rarity.” “Thanks, you too.” The unicorn smiled thoughtfully. I finally put the first spoonful of brew into my mouth. Well... Just a soup. They're all about the same without meat... “Nightmare, listen...” Rar called me, still not touching her food. “M?” "If you want - I can help you with telekinesis.” She offered perplexedly. “I don't know if it would be successful, but... I still have it, maybe I can help and explain something to you?” “Hm...” I mused. ... When we had enough, we took a second turn at tea. I accepted Rarity's offer: Twilight was a good magician, and she never refused to help, but... Not enthusiastically, let's just say. If you ask, she'll tell you; if you don't ask, she won't say a word. I could not help feeling, that the lavender unicorn was feeling me as a burden. “Listen! What if your mark means love of the night life, m?” Rarity suddenly said before the bowl could reach her mouth and hurried to put it on the table. “Dinner parties, fashion shows, bohemian life..." She rolled her eyes dreamily. “Yeah. And also espionage, blackmail, racketeering, and bank robberies under the cover of darkness." I chuckled. “Nightmare.” The interlocutor looked at me with a reproach. “Why do you have to always think of something bad? Ponies have changed for the better!” “An interesting proposal, but doubtful. I don't have any obsession with night adventures. And with dresses on fashion shows as well.” I left the unicorn's indignation without an answer. She snorted unhappily, which made me smile involuntarily: it came out very horsey. “Oops, I’m sorry.” Rarity noticed my smile and, blushing a bit, hastened to cover her mouth with a hoof. “Listen... How did you get your cutie mark?” I asked. I remember rudely, but it's interesting how much it will be different compared to canon? “Haven't I told you?” “No, you haven't.” I shook my head. “Really? Hm...” The mare scowled for a second. “Fine, listen.” She shook her mane, making some conclusion. I made myself comfortable and took a sip from the bowl. “It was after Madame Embroidery had taken me on as an apprentice, and all the hardest things seemed to be behind me... I even wrote a letter home: when my mentor found out, that I had never written to my parents the entire time I lived in Ponyville, she was furious. I thought she'd kick me out, but she didn't: I just bought myself off by promising to write home. It took me a week to squeeze those five lines out of my head." Rarity smiled sadly. “And then I walked around the post office with the letter for another week, not daring to go in and mail it. I knew quite clearly, that they hated me at home, and that it was such an intolerable shame to write on behalf of a small-town seamstress's unknown, blank flank assistant - not of a successful capital milliner - that I probably would never have sent it if I hadn't received another scolding and a reminder of my promise. But I still sent the letter, reassured by my mentor, that my parents would surely love me and forgive me... but there was no answer. And my sewing wasn't working out: the cutie mark wasn't showing up, and Madame Embroidery was in no hurry to trust me with serious work, giving me all kinds of minor orders, like costumes for the school play... I felt like nothing, Nightmare. It seemed, that everyone - literally everyone - who passed by, looked at me with mocking and reproachful looks... So, when I was not at work or studying, I started to run away from the town, trying to spend more time alone. The day I got my cutie mark, I went for a walk in the foothills, and I wandered farther than usual, to the place where the hills turned into real mountains. There were already rocks sticking out of the ground, there were huge boulders... I wandered down the slope, kicking the stones, that came under my hooves, and thinking, that it would be wonderful to stumble upon some precious stone, so that I could sell it and pay my mentor, who was still feeding me from her plate... Suddenly the ground shook, and from somewhere in the distance a peal of thunder rolled in. At first I thought, that an earthquake had begun... But when I looked up, I found a sight in the sky, that took my breath away: a very unusual rainbow, spreading across the sky like circles on water. Bright, beautiful, and stimulating to action just by its sheer look! I was filled with pure rapture, I wanted to express it immediately in some way, so I blew my energy into the horn. Now ask me: “Why?” and I wouldn't be able to answer clearly, but... The spell seemed to weave itself together, the horn glowed with a steady light, and I felt... something. I followed the strange sensation, that seemed to lead somewhere, and it led me to the nugget. A small, slightly cloudy diamond-shaped sapphire. And next to it I found two more, smaller ones. And with disbelief, I picked them up - the three precious stones! - from the ground, a hot wave of light went through my body, leaving a coveted cutie mark on my sides: those three diamond-shaped sapphires.” Rarity craned her neck and lowered her gaze to her thigh, apparently remembering that day. “It's a long way from the sewing room." I chuckled. “Nowhere near.” The unicorn smiled, straightening up. “One look at the stones was enough for me to realize their potential in my art. I sold the first three stones, enough to pay off all my debts and even to buy some materials. In the next few days, after asking my mentor for a day off, I went to the foothills, getting a lot of nuggets, and they were only the stones I could get: the spell pointed in the direction of just rock and under the ground sometimes. And then, back in the sewing room, I started making my first real works, which shone and shimmered in the light of the Sun and the Moon... That's how I ended up finding myself, when my unexpected talent organically complemented my love of the sewing arts. I was absolutely happy! And the next day I got a letter from home, the lines of which told me, that my parents were worried about me and... loved me. Happiest day of my life, I guess." The mare smiled warmly at the memory. “And she told me, that the happiest was when my parents and I arrived!” I shuddered at the outraged voice, coming from the hallway. So did Rar. “Sweetie is back...” She panted, looking at me with panic. “How could I talk for so long?!” “Hi, Rarity! Who are you...” The question stuck in the throat of the smile unicorn, frozen in place like an idol, when she saw me as she entered the kitchen. I don't know how, but I distinctly caught the transition from the filly's white coloring to lethal pallor. “Who is this lovely person, Rarity?” With a little bit of baby talk in my voice, I played up the surprise. It turned out unexpectedly natural... The little unicorn really looked very... Very! She looked plush against the skinny, angular Scootaloo, causing almost overwhelming desire to grab and squeeze her. Damn! A grown man, but it's hard to resist even for me... “A-a... This is my sister, Sweetie Belle, Nightmare...” The hostess panted nervously and somewhat shyly. “A familiar name...” I feigned thoughtfulness. “So it's you - the best Scootaloo's friend, right? She told me about you.” I smiled with lips only to the stoned filly. “I’m Nightmare Moon, can use just Nightmare. And don't “miss”!” I “sat down” on the ears of the obviously frightened mare, demonstrating friendliness. Otherwise, I wouldn't be able to affect her and Scoot's friendship... “Sweetie, don't be afraid.” Rarity joined me. “Nightmare is a good pony.” "Good ponies don't sacrifice anyone." She muttered incredulously, and, keeping her gaze on me, cautiously, in an arc, approached her sister. “Sacrifice?!” Rar became surprised and looked at me indignantly, clearly demanding explanations. “Scootaloo owes me for something.” I shrugged with wings. “We agreed on a sacrifice in my honor. Now I'm thinking: Diamond Tiara or Silver Spoon? Or maybe both at once, what do you think?” I looked at Sweetie with a hope. “Nightmare?!” Rarity exclaimed with shock, paling. “N-no one.” Her sister answered simultaneously. “They’re very nasty, but you can't...” “You can't? Ah, alas...” I sighed falsely. “And Scootaloo was against it as well. So we agreed on... Candies.” Rar exhaled, giving me a furious gaze. “On candies?” Sweetie asked again skeptically. “Well, you have tradition - collect sweets in my honor once a year, don't you? I don't know where you put them before, but I'm back now, and I'm mercifully willing to accept your sacrifices in my honor! I expect more from Scoot, understandably, than from the others." I announced with an arrogant face. “Enjoy your meal, Sweetie.” Meanwhile, the senior sister set the table for the junior one in a hurry. “Nightmare, can we have a second?..” Rar nodded at the door, giving me another harsh look. Didn't like the joke, ay? “Thanks, it was tasty.” I rose from the table, folding the napkin and snapping the shoes on my front feet. “Nightmare.” Rarity turned to me, when we went from the kitchen into the hallway-store. “Don't joke like that ever, I beg you! It’s completely unfunny and... You scared me.” Unicorn sighed. “You... Said so seriously...” “There’s a grain of joke in every joke.” I answered thoughtfully. “O, Celestia, Nightmare! Don't you tell me, that you really!..” The mare stared at me with shock. “Maybe not to that extent...” I accepted reluctantly. “But I won't let anyone offense Scootaloo. And any of my friends. You as well, Rarity.” “Thank you.” She smiled shortly. “But still, you could've been... A little bit more polite? At least towards kids?” “They're kids." Damn it. “If you're out of diapers and can string more than a dozen words together in a sentence, then you're old enough to be aware of your actions and be responsible for them." I cut her off. “Oh...” The unicorn rubbed her forehead. “Nightmare, maybe it could have been a thousand years ago, but the times have changed...” “But the idiots are still the same.” I ended for her. “Just get one thing: words kill. And often it doesn't even matter who said them. Scootaloo cannot fly - but just look at her age! And do you know how it would be if you start to laugh at it? She would not fly at all. Because she would believe she cannot do that!” In the hovering silence, the alicorn's keen ear allowed me to hear someone in the kitchen stomping quietly against the wall, obviously warming their ears to the conversation. I chuckled. “You sound as if..." Rarity made an indefinite gesture, trying to find the words. I didn't speak. You want to ask if "a set of negative emotions, ironically given a semblance of consciousness and a priori incapable of friendship" is familiar with how badly words can hurt? Familiar more than you think, Marshmallow. “Oh, sorry, please.” It seems the unicorn read something in my gaze. “It’s nothing.” I hardly swallowed the lump in my throat. An uncomfortable silence fell. “By the way...” I remembered one thing. “I remember Pinkie mentioning, that you don't like the nickname "Marshmallow”. Do you want to tell me why?” I wanted to defuse the situation, and I was counting on some funny little thing to do with the word or the confection, but judging by the way Rarity was frowning, there was nothing funny about the nickname. Defused. Good girl... “Don't do it if you don't want to.” I hastily put out my hoof in a stopping gesture. “I will. We have already begun to dig into the past...” “I haven't told you anything.” I countered. “The gaze was enough...” The mare shivered. “Sorry again. About Marshmallow... I was called that by an insensitive scoundrel, who later betrayed my trust and my love, to put it in a nutshell. I realize now, that it was probably no big deal, but the memory of the nickname is unpleasant." Rarity looked with a sad thoughtfulness into the distance. “Don't you remember the address of this “insensitive scoundrel”?” I narrowed me eyes in a predator manner. “As far as I can understand, he forgot to at least apologize, I’m right?” “He didn't even plan on that.” The unicorn sniffed disdainfully. “Later he had to leave town very, very hurriedly. I don't know if they caught him or not.” Wait... Is that what I think it is? If it is, I'm going to get that bastard out of the ground and... “What did he do to you?” I squinted angrily and asked quietly. “N-Nothing illegal!” Rarity's head was pressed back into her shoulders and her ears flattened. “And it didn't work out with me, even though I was trying my best at the time...” “Trying your best?..” I froze. I don't understand a bit... “Oh, I guess that didn't happen in the old days... The ones like that scoundrel are also sometimes called heartbreakers. They “collect” mares.” Rarity grimaced. “You meet a handsome, you pay him a compliment - he accepts it willingly, shows reciprocal interest... You give him flowers, invite him to a restaurant - well, all the things any normal mare, who wants to interest a stallion, does. A beautiful romantic period..." the fashion designer sighed dreamily. “People like him draw it out as hard as they can, taking advantage of a mare in love, so that after the first night with her they can laugh at her, dump her and brag to their friends about their latest "achievement". I was lucky, that the small-minded and ugly pony started bragging too soon... I heard him bragging about how he was "going to roast this Marshmallow soon" and other nasty things, and I realized, that he didn't want me at all... I was so sick... I fell in love with a stallion for the first time... Mutually, as it seemed - and then..." Rarity sighed as she summed it up. “Well, the nickname “Marshmallow” was given to me by this exact scoundrel.” “Got it...” I prolonged. “Bastard.” “Alas, there are such ponies..." The interlocutor cringed, and I suddenly choked on the air of the thought: “The idyll: two mares standing around talking about the eternal 'all stallions are assholes!'” Talking about their own, something dear to their hears... I was standing with my friend, listening to her unhappy love, feeling sorry for her... I felt a little uncomfortable in my soul. Now she's going to start asking me about Blueblood: if I've seen him and what he's like and all that, then we'll move on to dresses, and at the end of the day I'll walk out of here thinking of myself in the feminine sense. I'm going to get out of here, it's for my own good... “Thanks for telling me.” I smiled with lips only. “And for the hospitality as well. I think I’ll go. Was happy to see you!” “Not a big deal.” Rarity smiled in answer. “That incident doesn't bother me that much anymore. Goodbye, Nightmare, I'm waiting for you to practice telekinesis and... Oh, wait!” The unicorn changed her face. “We wanted to take your measurements! Wait!” I hastened the pace and hastily opened the door. It's not a long way ‘till the street. “Did we?” I feigned a surprised look. “Yes, we’ve said... Nightmare!” The mare exclaimed indignantly, stumbling. “Don't remember something like that!” I almost ran out into the street. “Nightmare, wait!” “No, Rarity, I don't remember!” I turned and waved goodbye to the unicorn, frozen in the doorway, smiling evilly at the same time. “Nightmare! This is a crime against beauty!” She exclaimed indignantly. “Bye-bye!” I turned around and immediately switched to a trot. “Nightmare, get back!” Words ran into my back. “Nope!” “Nightmare!..”
28. A Day of SurprisesAuthor's Note "There's a feeling, that this chapter wouldn't be loved by a lot. I don't know why. I hope I'm wrong) Enjoy your reading)" Original author's note. 28. A Day of Surprises “Famn it!” I cringed at the stupid sensation, that bordered on pain and tickling, and spit out the quill. The wings are great, of course, but taking care of them... After a meticulous look at the relatively straight row of feathers and deciding to be satisfied with what I saw for now, I folded the wing against the side. So much fuss! I want membranes... At least Twilight had a little book in the "for the little ones" series on how to keep oneself clean and why. It was about wings, too: rudimentary, without much detail, but not bad, for lack of a pegasus I knew who could explain and show me everything. I sighed wistfully and unfolded the second wing: it wasn't the end, damn it... The occupation made me feel a little melancholy, even despite the pleasant weather, a light warm wind, that brought a smell of water from the lake, and some bird, singing with reassuring chirping somewhere nearby. And just the mood itself was shit. At night I dreamed of some viscous haze, that left me in the morning with a sticky feeling of unease, lethargy, and a sore head. And also this yesterday’s spy didn't want to go out of my head... And Twilight, only added fuel to the fire with her story, when I decided to find out more about who I was dealing with, which led to two conclusions: the thestrals are extremely loyal to Luna, and they, unlike other ponies, are not known for their peacefulness. So, the question is: Why did Luna send that dummy after me? To say hi? Yeah... The “a knife to the throat” kind of hi... Damn, I didn't even think at first, that Luna might decide not to leave things undone. On the other hand, she's afraid of me - that's the first - and she'll get nothing from Tia for my death - that's the second. Celestia loves her sister too much to fear the consequences for anything. Plus, she could always tell Tia, that it was to protect her and stuff... So she could just as calmly and indifferently smoke her, blinding her by trust, and then, after a week of making a sad face for the camera, rule herself. As she wanted in the first place. I grimaced and pulled out and spit out another damaged feather. Canon, where are you when you're needed, huh?.. Why is local Luna a brutal, indifferent traitor, who doesn't care about anyone? She betrayed her sister, then, without the slightest hesitation, betrayed me, when it became profitable and when, from her point of view, one black alicorn was more trouble than it was worth. And now she's playing a sweet shyness on camera, and she's probably playing a heartwarming show to her sister, with tears and hands-wringing... hooves, damn it - and she's happy to believe it. And when she smokes Tia as indifferently as she did it to me... “Argh!!!” I howled, unluckily grabbing a nearby feather, that has nearly fallen out with a new one, intact and firmly held. And I've pulled it out to my own harm... I have to do something about this all. And in a situation, where Tia trusts Luna more, than she trusts me... I took my head away, looking at the result of my work. I guess it wasn't very good, but since I couldn't do it any better and I don't know how to do it more correctly, I'd have to call it a day. As for "what to do"... Calm down, assess the situation, and think. Maybe I'm just being paranoid on a flat spot?.. And no thestrals in loose dresses are watching me, huh? Sniffing, I got on my feet and dusted down. I rested - they don't hum anymore after the run. I could go back then... After charting a route away from the bushes, I headed towards Ponyville. ... “Howdy, Night!” The pink ponies jumped out in front of me as I walked leisurely through the streets of the town, contemplating. The mare was, as usual, cheerful and lively, with her saddle bags on the sides, and, by some miracle, had a square wicker basket on her back, that has stood firmly after the jump. Finally, a small crocodile rested in her lush mane, staring alternately with its eyes. “Go with us! You have awful mood and you just need a party! But honestly - there are no parties right now, but I think a picnic with friends, and in such great weather, could help you too! Let’s go!” I didn't get a word in edgewise from the hyperactive little pony. “Your presence alone is enough to make the mood less lousy." I couldn't help smiling. “Hi, Pinkie.” “Are you serious? Nice! Thanks!” The earth pony was beside me in the blink of an eye, and she stood on her haunches and briefly hugged me. The basket on her back didn't even move. “So, are you with us?” Going back, she looked with her big blue eyes at me without any fear at all. “O... Greetings, Nightmare...” “Ehm... ...!” The others have caught up with Pinkie: Applejack and Fluttershy, also with baskets. “If no one is against it - why not?” I shrugged with wings. “Hi everyone.” “Of course no one is against, Night!” The pastry chef said as a matter of course, not even glancing at her coming friends. AJ glared at me from under her hat and snickered skeptically, but said nothing. Flutty squeaked something affirmative. “Is it so?” I specified, narrowing my gaze to the pony with hat. You cannot relax in a company, where someone silently hates you. “Nah...” She backed up a bit. “Nice! Let’s go, or we're not going to get Twilight out of the books!” “From which one?” I arced my brow, going next to the pink mare. “From the one she's reading right now.” She “explained”. “Pinkie...” Applejack prolonged expressively. ... “Well, did you find the thestral from the market?” I caught up with Pinkie and unobtrusively pulled her away from the group as we, with Twilight, Spike, and Rarity joining us, headed out of town to find a cozy grassy clearing. “Nope!” She smiled. “She's a spy after all, it’s hard to find her! But it’s nothing - no one has gotten away from Pinkamina Diana Pie!” “I hope so...” I mumbled thoughtfully. “Pinkamina is your full name, yeah?” “Yep...” The mare darkened a bit. “It’s beautiful, but I don't like it a bit, honestly. Strict, as mother and father, and hard, as the life on a stone farm. And it seems to have something... Frightening.” I rubbed my forehead with a wing thoughtfully. “Yes? I like it. Lady Pinkamina.” I said as if tasting it. “Just add an expensive outfit, jewelry, straighten the mane - and this is it.” Pinkie clearly lost her pace a bit. “But it wouldn't be me.” She panted after a few seconds quietly and thoughtfully. “No this funny and curly Pinkie, but cold and isolated Pinkamina.” “You’re giving too much importance to the look.” I chuckled. “Is someone not satisfied with her look?” Fixing her mane pictorially, Rarity started to go next to the other side. “No wonder, because what kind of look can we talk about if there is no dress to complement and emphasize it, and some wear tasteless armor for a walk instead?” She looked at my cuirass with clear reproach. “Yeah, Pinkie just said her full name.” I chose to let the remark pass my ears: pfft, like she understands it! “I thought a straight mane and some sort of expensive outfit would go well with it.” “Pinkamina...” Rarity prolonged, as if tasting it, examining the cautious earthpony closely. “You know, there’s something in it... It must be formal, elegant... Color... Should try azure - it goes well with the eyes... Yeah... Pinkie, it really can be a good thing! How about stopping by me this week?” The unicorn proposed this to her with burning eyes. I sent the slightly dazed pastry chef an apologetic look. Put her in a tight spot for nothing... “Again standing and not twisting, yeah?” She sulked frustratingly. “It’s so boring! But also I can fit many-many beautiful outfits...” The pink pony dove into the suffering of choice. “I don't think anything will come of your idea, Rar, but at least we'll have a good time together all day as friends! I agree!” “Nice, dear! Then let’s meet tomorrow, after lunch?” “No-no-no, not tomorrow! Tomorrow I have...” I slowed my pace, letting the excitedly talking mares lead the way. That was... unexpected. Man, how could Pinkie take the idea of half a day of fitting positively? That's... A-a... These mares are strange none the less... Shaking my head in confusion and adjusting a bit loose bags on my chest with a move, I quickened the pace to not be left behind entirely. In fact, now that they were all together, it was interesting to see how they differed from one another. Applejack was a worthy sister to her brother - half a head taller than the others, but still leaving the impression of a stocky figure. Strong legs, broad chest, and her muscles were pretty serious under her fur. Pinkie was shorter, generally shallower, and did not give that impression of massiveness. Surprisingly, the pastry chef was quite slim and fit. The fattest in the company, unexpectedly, was Twilight! There was no belly and no lines on it, of course, but the overall roundness and streamlined shape gave that impression. Soft, I guess... I'll have to give her a hug sometime. Rarity was thinner, slimmer, and a little taller. And Fluttershy, to my surprise, was only smaller when compared to Applejack, and noticeably taller than the others. Long thin legs, a graceful neck... noticeable muscles. She also had the biggest eyes of all... Fluttershy blinked frightened and hastily hid behind her mane. I looked away: I’m just standing here and gawking at her, damn it... Actually, while I was looking around, it looked like we have arrived, and now Applejack, Pinkie, Rarity, and Spike were setting the "table. Twilight, carefully pretending that she was just thinking, was puffing away tiredly and clearly trying to stand up so that she didn't put a strain on her legs. “Citizen-sitter”, I chuckled. Flutty, demoralized by my intense gaze, tried to be transparent. “I'm sorry, I just fixed my eyes." I smiled with lips only as I came a little closer, and I couldn't help myself: “Your beauty is comparable only to your kindness, o, cute Fluttershy! I couldn't look away...” Even though it was mostly as a joke, but I didn't lie. The pegasus is really beautiful. “...!" She squeaked in her mane, rapidly turning red. “You shouldn't be embarrassed, darling!” Rarity joined me. “With a figure like that and these eyes, you should be modeling right away! You're beautiful! You need to shine on the runway, not wear yourself out with hard work!” “Oh... N-don't... I'd rather... Here..." somehow Flutty managed to squeeze out, blushing to the tips of her ears. “No one wants to demonstrate my dresses!” The unicorn sighed tragically, putting her wrist to her forehead in a gesture of despair, and glancing at me with a clear hint. “It’s sad to hear.” I nodded sympathetically. “It’s okay, there are lots of ponies, maybe...” “Hey, ladies! It's all set! Please, come to the table!” AJ's high-pitched voice interrupted our conversation. We were seated on a sun-drenched lawn, that overlooked the Canterlot Mountains, and I could even see Canterlot itself. Sandwiches and sweets dominated the tablecloth, which was filled with all sorts of goodies, but fortunately, Fluttershy's pastries added to the mix: I liked the filling and tasty cabbage, carrot, and potato pies. There was freshly squeezed apple juice and two small bottles of apple cider for the drinks, supposed to be about the same strength as kefir. I don't know how many degrees there are in cider, but it must not be more than seven. While I was eating the pies, mentally praising Fluttershy, the others were chatting more, trying to draw Twilight into the conversation as well. She hemmed, hummed and blushed and tried to figure out where to put herself, clearly feeling out of place in such simple conversations on mixed topics. In the end, the librarian, seizing a moment when no one was paying attention to her for a while, took a book out of her bags and immersed herself in reading, quickly becoming calm and enthusiastic as the pages rustled. I chuckled and glanced around at the others; unlike Twi, I wasn't being pulled into the conversation so insistently. Now Applejack and Pinkie were discussing some kind of recipe - apples in caramel or something... Rarity and Fluttershy were enthusiastically remembering some new collection of clothes from some famous fashion designer from the capital. The unicorn, at the same time, posed for Spike, as if unintentionally. She turns this way and that way, she fixes her mane, she wags her tail... I glanced in the direction of the young dragon and could hardly contain my laughter: Spike is cooked. The unblinking gaze is fixed on Rarity, a silly grin on his face, and an empty sandwich clutched in his paws, jam dripping down his right paw and onto the tablecloth, where a solid stain has already formed. “Twilight!!!” An indignant Rarity's exclaim distracted me from the dragon. “M? What?” She looked away from the book with ill-concealed displeasure. “Well-bred ladies don't behave like this!” The white unicorn moved her brows. “We've gathered to be together, and you're just reading!” “We-ell, yes... And?” Twi stared at the indignant designer blankly. “A-a...” Rarity couldn't find the answer, still looking daggers at Twilight. “Rarity is right, Twilight.” Pinkie looked at the Princess’ student a bit sadly. “This way you're showing, that the book is more important. As if we were something immaterial and unimportant to you...” The curly pony drooped. “But I!... But... But it’s!..” The unicorn rose up. “It’s not true, is it? Or... Or I’m... Or I’m such an awful friend!!!” She drooped in a moment. The ponies, who hadn't expected such a reaction, stared at Twilight in incomprehension. I waited with interest for the situation to develop. “You're a normal friend. You just don't see the outer world behind these books.” Spike grumbled, hurriedly ending with his sandwich during this time and now is looking for a something to dry his paw. “And in general - nothing awful happened...” “It did! I've ruined everything again!” Drooping with her ears, Twi looked up at the assistant with her tear-filled eyes. “Now everyone will know what a bad friend I am and no one would be friends with me! I wouldn't be able to study friendship and Princess would kick me out of the students! Wi... With sha-ame!” She sobbed with her nose. “I... It’s better for me to leave!..” At the dumbfounded silence of the others, the unicorn crookedly slipped her bags onto her back and, quickly shoving the book into one of them, dashed towards Ponyville, safely forgetting about the dragon. “Oh, I didn't want to touch her feelings...” Rarity became sad. “What the hay! What's gotten into her?..” Applejack pushed her hat back on the nape in bewilderment, and hurriedly got up and rushed after her. “Hey, Twi! ‘Wait! Where are you going?!” “Twilight, what are you talking about?” Pinkie swiftly passed me and joined the farmer. Rarity and Spike followed. As I glanced at Fluttershy, who was the last to join the chase, I surveyed the contents of the tablecloth and rubbed my hooves with pleasure. Well, you run there - a healthy thing to do. But this is all mine! I looked back and smirked, stealing the last potato pie from the Applejack's bowl on the table, that has not yet been touched. ... Twilight was caught up and hugged after all, and, after wiping away her tears, they persuaded her to come back. Now she was slightly embarrassed, casting appreciative glances at her friends and drinking her juice gently, embraced on one side by Pinkie and on the other by Fluttershy. The picture was so adorable, that it was impossible not to smile while looking at it. Rarity was looking at it, too, and smiling; Spike, having hastily indicated his involvement for Twilight, again fixed his gaze at the white unicorn; Applejack... was looking at me with a strange expression. “Ya coulda asked." The mare snorted quietly, noting my attention, pointing eloquently to her empty plate. “As if Rainbow wasn't enough... What an amateur to grab everything without any knowing what thing belongs to who...” “Sorry. Fluttershy's bakeries are too good.” I tried to smile innocently in answer, also making the pink-haired shyness blush again. “O! Applejack!” Pinkie rose up at the same moment as I answered. “You've been to Rainbow yesterday, haven't you? How is she doing? I hope she will be in a better state soon!” “Yeah, tell us, please!” Rarity supported the pink pony. “We all are very worried about her!” “Yeah, “all”.” Farmer looked askew at me for a moment with disgust. I looked back indifferently, forcing the dissatisfied pony to look away quickly. Imagine - I’m not really worried about a sportswoman, getting at me because of her very high intellect, which made me had a few unpleasant hours because of her strike. It is surprising, isn't it?” “Well, generally.” AJ continued, moving away from me a bit.” She's bored out there. Says she almost got up, and she's ready if not today - then tomorrow. But complained, that she’d be forbidden to fly some time for sure. And the house would have to be downed, for the time of her recovery... But our Rainbow is doin’ great, doesn't lose her morale! And she was so happy 'bout somethin’ - damn, like a pig in a pool under the Sun!” I chuckled. Nice comparison. “Was braggin’ about having such a thing, that we all gonna burn with envy, but didn't want to say it now. Said she would when she's out of the hospital. Honestly - don't even know what she’s talkin’ about... What the hay could she get, that it's so good?” Lifting her hat, the farmer rubbed the forehead perplexedly. “It’s... It’s a gift of mine...” Twilight stared at the ground blushingly. “You know, I... She is there because of me, as it turned out... Well...I've gifted her the ticket for “Grand Galloping Gala”.” The unicorn summed up quietly, digging nervously with a hoof. “Sorry, please! I wanted to invite every one of you, I really did! But Princess Celestia gave me two tickets and I... It seems I've chosen only her...” The magician said wistfully, stooping. I couldn't hold a smile. “Yeah... Understood.” AJ became surprised. “Nah, sugarcube, just don't ya think we're offended or somethin’, we understand it... But it’s of course a valuable gift, and every one of us would have been happy to have one...” The earthpony still couldn't hold a quiet note of envy in her voice. “Then I’m happy!” Pinkie exclaimed with a wide smile. “I have an invitation too! Here!” The mare dipped her hoof into her mane, rummaged through it concentrically, got a perplexed expression on her face, and then, shining, removed her crocodile from her mane, clutching the familiar golden plate in its toothless mouth. “Yeah! Here it is!” The expressions on the faces of the surrounding ponies showed varying degrees of surprise and bewilderment. I couldn't tell who was more surprised: Twilight and Applejack, who knew nothing, or Rarity and Fluttershy, who didn't know either, but now must have something to think about. I, trying to keep a brick face, was inwardly enjoying what was going on. “Oh... As amazing as it is, I have to admit, I have an invitation, too..." The snowy unicorn squinted at me. "Yay! Nice!” Pinkie jumped. The eyes of the rest of the crowd got even bigger, and a smirk crept onto my face. I couldn't keep a brick face anymore. “Mm... Well... I'm a little embarrassed to admit it, but... I... happen to... have... an invitation, too..." The yellow pegasus, her face darkening nicely, dug with her hoof. “You too! Hurrah!” The chef jumped again. “But from where?!” Twilight yelled, not having even a clue. Applejack, for her part, stared dumbfoundedly into the void. The gazes of first the three mares, gifted with coveted tickets - and then the rest of the gathering - crossed over my satisfied smile. Ye-es!.. It was not for nothing that I gave them separately to each of them, and with a hint, saying, "You don't have to tell me much.” I had returned relatively early from Canterlot and had enough time to go around everyone and did so in an evening, hoping to see the surprise of Twilight and the lucky girls themselves the next day... But for some reason, the unicorn acted as if she had not received any invitations from Tia... I see why now. “Nightmare, dear.” Rarity woke up first. “Thank you very much again, but... Why didn't you say anything? I felt awful, thinking, that of everyone I’ll be the only one to come on that beautiful holiday!” “But the surprise was nice, wasn't it?” I smiled with satisfaction. “Just great! So great, that “Yay”!” Pinkie jumped to me and hugged me tightly. “Thanks-thanks-thanks!” “Don't mention it, lady Pinkamina.” I feigned - as far as it's possible when laying and hugging someone fluffy - a ceremonial bow. “It wasn't a big deal.” “Now you won’t forget that, yeah?” Pinkie darkened for a moment, however, in the next second, she made a formal face and said: “Nevertheless, lady Nightmare, let me show you my gratitude and assurances of my true friendship!” I chuckled. “I agree. It seems silly, when I am not me.” The chef giggled. “Don't underestimate your acting talent!" Rarity insisted. Pinkie, hugging me one last time, moved over to her, quickly engaging in the discussion, and I was suddenly gingerly touched on the other side. “M-m... Nightmare, can?.. Well... Won't I bother you much?.. I mean...” Fluttershy tried to be smaller under my gaze. “Don't be shy.” I tried to cheer her up with a smile. “What’s that about?” “Well... Um... I feel really bad about asking and... Um... But, if it's not too much trouble... Do you... Do you have another ticket?” The pegasus panted with a clear strain. “Just mine. I've had only four.” I answered, not completely understanding what she's talking about. Something was at the edge of my mind, but I couldn't hold this thought. “Oh... That’s sad...” Flutty darkened. “It means Applejack won't have one...” Damn it. A vague guess finally took shape: I took tickets for three, expecting, that Twilight would have to choose between Dash and Jack, bringing the situation to the canonical, with a letter to Tia... And Twilight, out of guilt, immediately gave her invitation to Rainbow, who was in a hospital bed because of her screw-up. And, as a result, our pony in the hat was left out... “Hey... I’m happy, that my friends are that lucky and stuff...” Applejack tried to feign a smile. Forced completely: it was easily seen, how bad and painful it's for her. “Okay, you... Have fun out there, I have things to do on the farm...” The harsh farmer dashed away a tear furtively. She got up slowly and, forgetting the basket, wandered sullenly away. There was a heavy, tense silence at the table. Twilight was digging at the ground with her hoof, Spike was running his eyes and scratching the back of his head in confusion, Rarity was biting her lip painfully, looking after her friend, and Fluttershy was hiding from the world under her wings and mane. Even Pinkie stared sullenly at the ground and sighed. No one was in a hurry to run and console AJ. What's there to say? We have, and you don't, and you won't... I have a ticket. I glanced at the bags hanging on my shoulders. It's the last one, but it's not really necessary, after all. I wouldn't get anything out of going to that circus. Applejack, really, neither... But it is, after all, her dream - even if she's not entirely aware of the shortcomings of it. Well, yes, Applejack and I don't get along very well - that makes sense. But she's not a bad pony on the whole, and it's... wrong to let her pass by a long-awaited and coveted holiday like that. And it's sickening to look at the rest of them, too. Okay, fuck with these nobles, they’d be fine even without me. I got up with determination, and, under the bewildered glances of the four ponies and the dragon, I followed the farmer, who has her hat pulled down over her eyes and was walking slowly towards Ponyville. “Applejack!” I pulled her tail with telekinesis, quickly moved round her and stood before. “Let me go!” I was ordered under the hat dully. “Give me your hoof.” I unceremoniously grabbed hold of AJ's front leg, forcing her to stretch out in front of me and twist her hoof upward. “Hey!” Finally, Applejack looked up, her green eyes gloomy with tears glistening in the corners of them. “Take it. You need it more." I put the gold card from my bag onto her outstretched hoof, and without waiting for a reaction, I walked back. “I-ah... Wait!” AJ's startled voice caught up with me a dozen seconds later. I stopped and turned to see the farmer, running after me. “Thanks and things, but...” She caught up to me, started to shy and, hesitating, stretched out a hoof with the ticket back. “Listen, I can't take that. It’s yours, isn't? You don't have any left?” “Mine.” I nodded. “And I can do anything with it. Like wanting to give it to you, for example. Take it, don't make things up.” I chuckled, turning around and coming back to the others without a hurry. “I’m just, like, an acquaintance to you... Not the best one... Why?” Pony caught up to me. “For me it's a piece of paper, for you - a dream.” I moved with a wing. “And I don't really want to see sad faces. If it suits you - I did it more for them than for you.” “Heck yeah, but I can feel it, that you're doing that not just because of profit...” The earthpony stared at me with a long, thoughtful gaze. I shook my head silently, not knowing what to answer. Just... You're a good pony, Applejack. And leaving you alone here would have been wrong - that's it... ... Upon my return, I received a small flurry of thanks from the worried mares and from Applejack herself, who finally gave up the idea of returning the invitation to me. And her cider was just the right thing to drink for the happy resolution of the situation, and then the picnic began to wind down. And just before leaving, I unexpectedly got an extremely insistent invitation from AJ to come down to her farm. I didn't refuse: I just didn't have any plans for the rest of the day, so now I was walking beside the farmer, who is walking almost like Pinkie - with leaps and jumps. “Thank ya again, Nightmare.” The earthpony turned to me, when we went far away from the place of the picnic and walked down a grassy path. “But I still feel awkward. How are you?..” “Anyhow.” I moved ming wings phlegmatically. “I can imagine what this event is - and I’m not interested in it.” “Not interested? But it's Grand Galloping Gala!” The farmer clearly didn't understand my position. “Typical nobles’ gathering.” I waved away. “Protocol conversations about weather, quiet orchestra, slow and complex dances - it’s just a mask for their underground affairs. The only thing of interest is a lavish buffet with a lot of exquisite delicacies, which you can't taste anywhere. No solemn sacrifice to the glory of the Princesses, no bloody battles in the arena between the slaves captured in the raids, no festive orgy at the end... It is a dreary party. It’s no match for the past..." I rolled my eyes dreamily, "remembering" the good old days. Applejack lost her pace and stared at me with a savage look. “Ph-h!” I snickered, not being able to hold it, looking at her straightened face. “Joking, of course.” “Your jokes give me creeps.” The mare shivered. “Don't joke like that, would ya? Not funny at all!” “Well, this is how I can.” I chuckled, earning an indignant look of the pony. For some time we walked in silence, the silence was broken only by the sound of our footsteps and birds, chirping around us. The path was crossed by two cows, who forced us to slow down: one was chewing intently, the other was... telling her something passionately, bursting into laughter at every word. I, for the umpteenth time, cringed my brain, feeling how this world was mocking me, throwing up all kinds of inadequate shit. I, for the umpteenth time, cringed my brain, feeling how this world was mocking me, throwing up all kinds of inadequate game. The cows... Chatting... As I followed the cows with a gaze slowly, I noticed another odd detail, that was supposed to be covered by magic... But no: both cows were showing off a large pink udder between their legs. “How?” I transferred my blank stare to the farmer. “They're sentient, aren't they?” “Wha? A, this...” AJ looked at the cows for a moment. “They are, of course. But not like ponies... Have brains to talk, but not to think.” She chuckled. “And their shown udders are a kind of custom or something... They don't use the cover. It's like, if you hide it, it means you're ashamed, you haven't grown anything. What kind of cow are you then? You'd be laughed at.” “Yeah...” Chuckling, I rubbed my forehead. “Cows aren't the only ones that... Strange, sugarcube.” Applejack noted my chuckle. “Pony can be strange, too, y’know... You maybe haven't heard that, but I had been living in Manehattan for a while - so much of these strange ones, you just can't imagine!” “What, they’re walking around the streets without the cover?” I suggested as a joke. “Yep, right like that.” My companion nodded absolutely not joking, chuckling. “What is natural is not dirty!”, “Don't avoid your natural beauty!” Pftt...” She sniffed. I chuckled with a loss. You know, it was a joke after all... Cursed Horses... “Not only that, by the way.” The mare continued as if nothing happened. “There's fools, thinkin’, that the Moon and the Sun are moving themselves, and Princesses do nothing. These are, what's they called?.. Vevotarians? Vegetarians. H-hay, don't remember it... Like these ones, who don’t eat milk products! At all! Can you imagine that? No milk, no butter, no eggs - nothing! All as one, skinny, cheeks hollow, ribs visible, but all the same - "let's not be like griffins and consume animal food!” I itched my brow with a shoe in prostration. Ponies-vegans. Life didn't prepare me for this... “And these, the ones that “nothing to be ashamed of”, are just the most famous from the local fools. O, remembered! “Social movement” it’s called. In Manehattan there are as many as apples in the fall.” I had somehow thought, that such leisure time was more typical of the inhabitants of the capitals... However, how do I know, maybe it's even worse in Canterlot?.. “And why?..” I asked the space rather rhetorically. “Who can tell?..” Applejack chuckled. “The good life's gone to their heads, if you ask me - that’s the whole story. And yeah, we’ve come! Welcome to "Sweet Apple Acres”, Nightmare!” The farmer, not without pride, waved with her hoof at the apple orchards spread out before us in the lowlands, and a few vaguely familiar buildings. “I've been here, you know.” I chuckled. “Oh, “I've been, I've been”!” The earthpony waved away with a feeling. “Sorry, okay? I behaved myself back then like... A-a...” She didn't find the words. “Not a big deal.” I emphasized a smile as a reply. “Your distrust was understandable for me personally.” “Yeah?” I was looked up with great, unhidden skepticism. “Even our Princess trusted you - only I looked like a fool around here... But you nearly hammered Dash and you know...” It looks like the pony with a hat dove into doubts again. I shook my head with a chuckle. “Do you have something between you and Rainbow?” A surprise question almost made me stumble. “I don't have anything against her - as plainly as it is.” I oriented. I have serious doubts about farmer asking about affaire d'amour... So I think she's interested in my attitude towards the painted one. And I don't have any. “She ran into me - she got a blow, the question is closed. If she does more - she will get more. If she doesn't - well, she won't get more.” I shrugged with my wings, and, summing up, added. “By the way - it works with everyone. Except Fluttershy and, maybe, Celestia... She's a hard one.” “No guess.” AJ sniffed, fixing her hat. “I’m not about what you have just thought.” I peered at her. “I just really can't imagine a situation, in which she would run into me...” And why, if she just can look at me with a long, sorrowful gaze and sigh?.. Damn it, and how does she always nail it?.. ... So, with a slow chat in the background, we arrived at the gate of the farm, where Applejack, after throwing off her bags, gave me a little tour, not without enthusiasm. She showed me the legendary volt-apples, the kind of tree that buzzes like a transformer, next to which the mane and tail stand up on end, and careless insects evaporate with the sonorous clicks of discharges, made an impression. The rest of the farm also looked impressive: a huge apple tree forest, a vast basement under the house filled with barrels, a corral with pigs... The latter, to my disappointment, were needed by the Apples not for meat but for... manure. The cows' one, of course, was, according to the farmer, much better, but the cow with its delicate mental organization could raise its horns for a request to share... Well, the pigs, which were not much different from the ordinary animals of the Earth, did not suffer from such abstruse high-mindedness - so they were used. Yeah... At least someone here didn't have an opinion, or else the farms would die out because of endless agreements with cows, pigs, and even apple trees - who gets what and how much from whom... What a crazy world. ... “Mac, granny, I’m home!” Applejack soundly signaled our arrival: the farmer stubbornly insisted on introducing me to everyone. Why does she need it, huh?.. “Hi." The red stallion said phlegmatically, looking out into the hallway and giving us an indifferent look. He's a big fuckin' guy... Only a little shorter than me, but he's as powerful as a tank. He was not pumped up, though he had plenty of muscle - he's just huge in and of himself. Mac, meanwhile, saluted us with a hoof, turned and, swinging his croup, disappeared out the door, leaving me to think angrily and confusedly: how and why did I even notice the last thing?! Let you!.. Damn it!.. “M-m... Granny made some cakes...” AJ helped me to get back into the reality, stretching out her nose and rolling eyes dreamily. I reflexively sniffed after her. M-m... The picnic was a long time ago, right?.. ... “Try some more strudel!” “No, thank you, I've had enough...” “Huh? Try strudel I say!” “Thanks, but no! I've had enough!” “Whaddya mean "enough"? Sitting here, with ribs being seen!” “And somehow no one noticed except you.” I muttered quietly, pushing my plate away with determination. Granny Smith seemed at first frightened of me and not at all happy to meet me... Until, a few minutes later, she found my ribs protruding, and I immediately turned from "terror flying on the wings of night" to "poor unfed mare”. Well... My ribs were noticeably bulging, of course, but comparing me to an anatomical guide? On the other hand, I weighed about half as much as Celestia did, at the same height... In any case, trying to fatten me up right now was doomed, but only the old green pony wasn't embarrassed by such things... And it wouldn't be such a problem if granny didn't also cook so good... I looked around the table in puzzlement as I finished the rest of the pie. I listened half-heartedly to Applejack's contented speech about the founding of Ponyville by her ancestors, while Big Mac chewed phlegmatically - as he did everything else - while trying not to look in my direction: the big guy had no emotions as a characteristic, but I could tell he was somewhat wary of me when I looked closely at him Apple Bloom, on the other hand, was staring at me all eyes, showing outright fear mixed with... admiration? Granny, in her turn, has so far switched from me to her: the little one hardly touched her food at all, and this did not go unnoticed. Oh... I have to go. While I still can... Pinkie hadn't been able to tell me anything concrete about the thestrals, and I bet those vampires would have a lot of fun killing me if I ate too much now... Thinking about Luna servants ruined my mood immediately. By the way, I was thinking of trying to get information on them again tonight: maybe Twilight has something, that I wasn't already familiar with... “Oh... Fine... Thanks a lot for the goods, it was matchless! But I think it’s time to go.” I stated my decision and started to get out of the table. I had to endure a small but hard fight with grandma, and, in the end, I managed to escape Granny Smith's hooves with a promise to stop by again sometime, trying to put the big slice of pie this grandmother had handed me on the way. Saying goodbye to everyone again, I walked out in the street, feeling my belly lift my wings and seem to rub against my knees when I walk... “Sorry about that.” Applejack caught up to me. “Grandma can be sometimes...importunate." “Not a big deal. Cutest mare.” I chuckled. “But I have to visit you less often, or a belly, dragging on the ground, will destroy all my reputation.” “Sorry for sincerity, sugarcube, but your reputation will not be worse already.” The farmer examined me. “Easy talk.” I insisted. “Will get fat, kind, get a cute dress - and it definitively would.” AJ sniffed - I think she tried to imagine that. “You're a strange one...” She concluded after a few seconds of silence. “I cannot understand why you think, that when everyone fears you it’s a good thing...” “We are all strange ones in our own way.” I noticed philosophically. “And still: why do you think like that? I want to understand.” The orange mare didn't want to leave me alone. “Why...” I sighed. Got a grip on me, damn it... “Because those, who are afraid, see only my reputation in me. And those, who can see me behind it, are not afraid. Like Pinkie, like Rarity... Like you now, maybe. And... I have to go, I think. Goodbye.” “See you there...” Applejack said slowly, when I was already a dozen of meters away. I shook my head silently and hastened the pace. You're not a bad pony, Applejack, just sometimes too curious... Interesting thing - would we get along or not... Anyway, the first step is done. But do I need it?.. ... “N-nightmare! Can I speak to you? I t-think it's to you...” The worried unicorn's voice sounded below. What the hell is over there?! Putting the book aside with a sigh, I moved to the stairs reluctantly. Twilight was found next to the entrance, nervously examining the frontal door. “What?” The mare shivered from my voice. “Came... To you, I guess... Said, that they would outside...” She explained confusedly. To me? Guests, yeah... When night came down. “Who?” “Thestrals...” Fuck. “Many?” “I don't know...” Damn it! Luna has sent a team of liquidators! And what a fighter I am now... “Why do they need me - did they say it?” I moved towards the stairs quickly. The unicorn trotted after me. “I think they want to be assured, that you're alive. Well, as far as I understood it...” Yeah. Be assured, that alive and end this mistake. Fuck it, we've got problems... Got the armor quickly. Hissed as my mane snagged on my helmet again. Head was blank. I think there's even less chance of escaping than there is of defeating them. If it makes sense to think about it at all, with negative values for both the first and the second... For the tenth time, checking the armor fasteners and latches, I burst out angrily. Enough stalling! What's the use? I went out onto the balcony, took a deep breath, jumped over the railing, and gently glided to the ground. Well... I tried. The armor made a difference: I almost lost my balance. The hasty landing was louder than I would have liked - on the road, with a distinct clang of hooves on the stone instead of a relatively quiet landing on the grass, a few meters further... “This is she!..” Fucking hell! Spotted me, freaks! You can say goodbye to the at least attempt of the first hit “It’s really she!” Turned sharply to the voice. The firefly is on stand-by: it should be especially effective in the darkness, the only thing I must do is to close my eyes faster enough. “The Great, is it you?” The owner of the voice approached suspiciously and cautiously a bit. Yellow eyes with a narrow pupil, purple armor, purple, almost colorful hair, big fluffy ears. The wings are folded, but it is clear without a word - they are webbed. It... It doesn't seem like an attack... Looked back. I glanced up, remembering about the wings - seems clear for me. What are they trying to do? Wait. I’m a fool! What’s the use of my body for Luna right now? She would have to pin Tia’s death on someone! These bastard want to get me alive! Meanwhile, the approaching stallion was quickly and quietly joined by a few more bats with wings. Six in all. Considering, that I can imagine their capabilities very poorly, and they mine - thanks to the spies - quite well, it's the end. But you won't get me alive, you bastards! “It's a pity Luna sent so few of you, bastards... You can't make a big pyramid out of six heads." I grinned crookedly. “Well, come on! Come closer! Who is eager to drop dead first?!” Pointless bravado. I probably won't get more than two. But that doesn't mean I won't try! A bloodthirsty grin came out of my face by itself, and pure adrenaline ran through my body instead of blood. The thestrals stopped. I looked around again, searching for a possible approach from the side. I don't see anyone... Bastard. “Mistress Nightmare Moon?” The same stallion asked somewhat hesitatingly. “Heck no, Princess Celestia!” I chuckled nervously. “Are you picking on me or Luna just didn't even depict the look of the one you've come to kill?” “To kill?!” The mouse with wing rounded his eyes very naturally. “Yeah. Keep saying, that you've come just to call me for a picnic.” I chuckled. But the thestrals' behavior was still questionable: they didn't try to approach or surround me, they stood still... And were they waiting for the second squad to attack me in the back? Or weren't they?.. “How much of you are here?” “Half a dozen, Mistress. Everyone is before you.” The purple pony bowed shortly. “I, Silent Charge, and the other warriors of the Eclipse Wing swear by the light of the stars, that we have no malice against you, and that our intentions towards you are purely peaceful. May the Night be a witness to our oath!” Thestral bowed in a special way. “We swear!” The others affirmed in unison, bowing in the same manner. We stared at each other. Silently. Take for granted? I may be an idiot, but I'm not that stupid... On the other hand, these are not human beings, and this is not Earth, where only a document had weight, and verbal agreements were the preserve of close friends and relatives... “I don’t know such an oath. How should I know this is not a trap?” I narrowed my eyes, examining the leader of the thestrals watchfully. “Especially after you spying on me.” “We weren't spying.” He shook his head. “Mountain Dew went to this town just to check on the rumors of your return.” “I'm sorry if I made you nervous. I didn't mean for it to be that way." A nearby thestral spoke up. “As for the oath... I'm afraid I have nothing to offer but my word." Silent moved with his wings. “Ask me, if you have questions. I’ll answer. Maybe this would persuade you in our peaceful intentions?” A good thought. “What is your connection to Princess Luna? I thought every thestral serves to her.” “No. So far, only a few wings have officially sworn to her: Star Cover, Night wind, Moon Shield, Mountain Guardians, and a few others. The news of her return has reached us, too." The stallion nodded. “But... It wasn't Luna, who led us in that - alas, fateful - battle for our future. That alicorn's name was Nightmare Moon. And it was she, that my distant ancestors followed.” “You know it was, in fact, the same alicorn, right?” I narrowed eyes. “I know. One body - two souls. It’s written in our legends.” “And you decided to choose the losers’ side?” I was surprised. “You exist only because of Luna!” I don't understand... “Yes. And we're thankful to her for it. But still... She did nothing to give us any decent place in this life. Thanks to her, we lived, but we were nothing. And you, unlike her, had the courage to speak out against this state of affairs.” “It didn't end well.” “Unfortunately, the queen was stronger then." The thestral nodded somberly. “But now that she's relaxed..." He didn't finish meaningfully. “She has Luna and part of your clans... wings on her side.” I insisted. Not that I had any plans for Tia, but it was interesting to hear suggestions on the subject. “On her side?” Thestral chuckled. “Our Mother, unfortunately, does not care enough about her children to go out against the Fury of the Sun, but she is not on her side. She is on her side: sitting back and waiting for things to get better on their own!” “Hold your disrespect to the Great Mother, Silent!” One of the thestrals interrupted their commander. “The fact, that she did not go against her sister, even if evil and oppressive, does not cheapen her Action for our sake!” “I’m not going to discuss it with you again! Especially now!” The stallion replied sharply. “Sorry for this scene, mistress.” He turned to me with a bow. “I see, you still respect Luna... To some extent.” I tilted my head sideways thoughtfully. “But you think, that she’d not help Celestia, right?” “Right...” Thestral scowled, trying to understand my thought. Do I even need the thestrals’ service? On the one hand, yes, it certainly wouldn't be unnecessary. These guys would be far more willing to be teachers and instructors in various areas of interest to me than ponies. They would my own scouts, architects, fighters and blacksmiths. Living with such a rear, I suppose, would be much more peaceful and fun. Especially since the thestrals catch and eat fish. M-m... On the other hand, the bats clearly have certain plans for me and, accordingly, will count on my fulfillment of certain obligations. And it is doubtful, that they will stand for long neglecting them... They will be disappointed and, at best, throw me out under snow, or even stab me at night and bury me in a ravine... In any case, my reputation among them after this will be below the plinth. I won't go against Tia: I don't need to. And they, since they respect Luna, though not all, and not always, will not go against her. In that case, I shouldn't trust them at all, especially since I won't get much use or help from an alliance against the blue horse... Or will I? “You may have noticed, that I thought you were Luna's killers, coming for my head. Must I explain, that an alliance with me will automatically make you her enemies? Her and those of you, who have joined her?” Charge froze like a statue, staring through me. I chuckled quietly, turning my gaze to the pony formation behind him: the other mousewings, by and large, reacted the same way. As was to be proved... Judging by their words, it was unlikely they'd be willing to go against Luna out in the open. In fact, they probably don't need to. These fellows would be more trouble than good. Though I could use some help, of course... I don't know. I don't trust them. “But... Isn't it more important, that we strike the Queen now?” The stallion hastily suggested that as he got back in reality. “Then what?” I chuckled. “And then war with Luna: don't you think, that I’ll forgive her betrayal and stab in the back, do you? And how many of you are ready to go against her?” “Betrayal?..” Charge asked again with a loss. “But you... In the legends..." He looked around helplessly at his subordinates, as if looking for support, but they were not at their best as well. “Why?!” Mountain Dew spoke up in a cracked voice. Damn it, didn't even notice when she came closer... “You... You're parts of the same whole!.. How can you fight each other?.. It’s... It’s wrong...” It’s better to shoot myself than being a part of such whole!.. I’m not going to fall to Luna's level! “Go explain it to Luna.” I advised, narrowing eyes gloomily. “It was her idea to rule and not share. One small issue: I just didn't want to silently die for some reason!” I looked around at the silent thestrals, feeling a deep irritation spreading inside me. “My word: either you swear an oath to me, and then you go all the way, or you refuse, get out of here, and never show your face again. So?” I froze in place, gazing intently into the eyes of the mousewings one by one. They looked at each other with a loss, looked away hastily, someone was staring at the ground... “We..." Charge paused uncertainly, speaking. "I mean, thestrals... We fought for a long time because we couldn't... Because we thought one or the other of your incarnation was more true. That was... That was our mistake. Both are true, equal in value... Though we have different views of them... We won't dare to choose sides, Great. No thestral would." He shook his head, looking to his feet. “Then I won't keep you any longer." I pointed at the night sky demonstratively. “Forgive us, Great... We can't... It's like choosing between cutting off your left wing or your right..." The dejected thestral commander squirmed. “Forgive us... And farewell.” Charge stepped aside, and the thestrals, indecisive and talking briefly about something with frowning faces, flapped their wings and silently disappeared into the darkness. Well... At least they would not support Luna... Although that's what I want to believe. But should they be trusted? Certainly not. If really, this “enemy within” guy like me should not trust anyone here, but... Pinkie, Rarity... Twilight, to some extent... Am I making a mistake?..
29. Embraces of The AbyssStallion closed in on me with a powerful impulse, laying down his hooves onto my back. “Ah!” Ni-ice! I even lost my breath!.. The big guy moved with the methodicalness of a machine, pushing me into the couch and making me moaning in a muffled groan. O-o... This really tonifies!... Ah!.. Earlier... Feelings were... Of course different... But this... A-ah!.. Really amazing! I sho-o-ould... Meet!... Him!... More often!.. O-oh! Stallion stopped, giving me a break. Yea-ah, tonic massage, which does Bulk, differers from the relaxing one, which does spa-pony, as an armored military suburban car differs from a pompous and important car of premium class. I realized this as soon as the pegasus piled on my back with his more than considerable weight after a slight muscle warm-up, instantly squeezing all the air out of me and then, for the last few minutes, made me gasp and my spine crunch miserably. “Oh!” I coughed chokingly again in the next second, feeling my eyes glazing over: he pressed me heartily. “S-sorry.” Bodybuilder became confused. “Yeah... F-f... It’s okay, keep up.” Restoring breath, I nodded. “A! Of...” In the next few minutes I felt what dough feels again, when it's being pressed down, kneaded and rolled. Bulk didn't stop afterwards, continuing to work on my poor back. By the time the masseur moved on to relaxing my muscles with gentle strokes, I felt somewhat dazed and driven. But damn, it’s still cool! “Right wing, please...” Pegasus mumbled, unfolding a lodgment from under the cot, and I think it's needed to work with an unfolded wing, and it's easy to be removed if you don't need it. Gently put my rows of feathers onto it, looking at the stallion himself at the same time. He looked nervous and strained, beads of sweat shined on his rough face. Comrade Biceps had a rather noticeable contrast between appearance and character. He was a big, imposing pegasus, not much smaller than Big Mac, with rugged facial features that referred to "The Terminator," powerful muscles, that rolled like boulders under his skin... At the same time, it cost a lot of effort to persuade Balk to work on Nightmare Moon herself, and, clearly, he would be much more enthusiastic to get away from me now... However, the bodybuilder, who agreed in the end, did his work, despite this, and pressed me so that the bunk was arching. Pegasus, meanwhile, went through the wing's thin bones carefully, causing shivers up and down by his touches. I shuddered. Wings are a delicate zone, after all, and I don't want to give them to anyone, it’s uncomfortable. And a little bit ticklish... “So... Bulk Biceps, right?” I decided to start a conversation. Initially, I thought I'd come up after the massage, but... What if he runs away? “R-right.” He answered shyly after a small pause. “Can I ask a tactless question of a personal matter?” Pressure on the wing vanished. I turned around to see blushing stallion with a gaze, running all around in panic. What he?... Da-amn.. I understood my own question and felt, how warm starts to fill cheeks, and hastened to look away. Mare, stallion, alone. Massage. Nice representation, pal. Yeah... “Well, it's... I... I don't know...” He finally panted. “Do you know how to fly?” I spitted in a hurry, counting this as a yes. “Don’t think it's an idle curiosity.” I thought it'd be good to make it clear. This time, pause was longer and somehow more nervous. “I do.” Masseur said gloomily and returned to my wing, cricking with a joint immediately. I shivered from the surprise. “Excuse me...” “Not a big deal.” I waved away an unpleasant dragging feeling in mind. “Did you train yourself or someone trained you?” “Depends...” Hesitating, interlocutor answered. It was clear by his voice, that this topic is unwanted for him. But it's a pro of having such a reputation such as mine - you cannot say no, you're scared. Anyways, I wouldn't beat around the bush. “Maybe you know Scootaloo? Orange pegasus, student, eight-nine-ish years - I didn't specify...” “M-m... No, I don't.” Masseur answered, freezing for some time again. “Okay...” I nodded. “Generally, she cannot fly in her age. And she has very tiny wings... When I saw you, I thought, that if you're able to fly yourself, you can know what’s wrong and maybe help her somehow.” I reported shortly. It was a little bit uncomfortable to speak on such topics with strangers, but... Leave things as they are?... Out of the question. Bulk, stopping again, mused, fixing gaze at the floor. “Pegasus, who wanted to help her, left her behind... Decided to not muck about with her. Don't fly - do not start, then.” I stiffened the thrust. “Well, I... I’m not a coach, you know... I've never taught someone and...” Pegasus shied. “At least you've taught yourself, and you know what can be a problem.” I insisted. “I don’t know.” Big one shifted from one foot to the other hesitatingly. “And... It’s strange, that you... ask for it... Sorry.” He laid back his ears frighteningly. It was rather comical when performed by such a huge guy. Nevertheless, his clear dread, like during the first meeting, vaporized, and rational wariness towards me... Looked pretty relevant. “Let’s say I... Owe Scootaloo.” Cringing, but I still made it clear. “I think, that help in finding a new coach instead of that double-crosser would be appropriate. Are you satisfied with this answer?” “S-sure.” Pegasus swallowed nervously. “Sorry for my... I...” Lost and embarrassed Bulk froze for a moment, then stood at rigid attention and loudly, almost screaming, said: “I didn't want to! I’m sorry! Please, don’t send me to the Moon!” “At ease, soldier. I won't scowl you.” Slowing with the answer in perplexity, I gave permission to the stallion. “Have you served?” “No.” Bulk returned to his normal tone. “Wanted to, but didn't make it through the screening process.” He explained with a sigh. “Ah... Well... It helps in feeling yourself more sure. Helps a bit.” “Okay. Will you help the pegasus?” “I'd like to.” The big guy made a helpless gesture with wings. “But I don't know for sure what to do and how and... What if it’s a failure?” “If it is, it would not be worse in any case - there’s nowhere to fall.” Biceps silenced for a while, stepping aside and looking at his feet. He spread his wings, as big as a teenager's, looked at them, rubbed his forehead with his hoof... “Fine...” He finally sighed sharply and shook his Iroquois decisively. “Pegasus’ life without sky is a bad one, it shouldn't be like that. I’ll try. Where to come?” “M-m... Do you still sell things at the market, don't you?” I decided to clarify just in case. “Yeah...” Pegasus shied. “People say a lot of ponies is a good thing for surety and... I like to see when they’re happy. Bough a sweet - you'd think, that’s nothing serious, but the mood rises at once.” Bulk smiled shyly. “Nice.” I smiled with my lips only as well. “Then it’s easy: I’ll tell her to find you at the market, and then you’d work it out between yourselves, you're not children.” “Okay, I’ll be there.” Pegasus nodded. There was almost no fear in his eyes, but some respect appeared instead... However, he still glanced away from my eyes. “Let’s continue?” I unfolded the wing, that was put back in its place during conversation unawarely. “Yeah, of course! Excuse me.” Biceps started to massage again. ... A-ah, what a pleasure... I, throwing head back and shutting eyes, collapsed blissfully into a small swimming pool in almost human pose, putting fore legs onto the edge and resting my back against it. The hot water enveloped the thoroughly wrinkled body with pleasure, relaxing the tense muscles, as after a good comprehensive training, at the same time, however, reliably washing out of the body all the received tone and leaving in its place a slight drowsiness and bliss. Opening eyes, I dashed away the sticky mane from the forehead on my face and tried to make myself comfortable to not press down wings. Completely by accident, my gaze swept across my own belly in the perfectly clear water, causing to frustratingly sniff and hasten to remove gaze from the lower - or back? - part of the stomach aside. Why this glorified cover doesn't work on the owner? Maybe I don't have a desire to see it as well... I still have curiosity and interest in it, but... I've had enough, seeing it in the mirror. Feelings from it... It's hard to portray it with words. If we try to look from the maximum technicality, then... Well, I’m not a spec, I won't draw analogies, but... Organ completely differs from the human one, even though not so radically as I thought earlier. It resembles a noose by its form, and the locals mask it under it: “noose”, something like human “pussy”. Now “Put one's head in the noose” sounds different, ay? Heh...The outer part of the mentioned organ was dark, like the fur, the inner one... I didn't work out the courage to go further. My wings unfolded and froze even without going there, barely reacting at attempts to do something with them. About the rest, if we put technicality aside... I don't fucking know! My head is still trying to figure this shit out, I don't understand how to treat it. From one side - it's not fatally, humans - and not just humans - live somehow with it? And it was fine, I think many of them even liked it... “This is how penis: it's good when you have it!” “What do you mean by “have”? For example, I’m a girl. And let’s say, that a penis just occurs sometimes. Generally, yeah, that's good.” I chuckled nervously, remembering this frankly vulgar quote. What am I supposed to do, when a question: “Your sex?” can cause a long stupor and shy: “I don't know...” in answer?! Really, who am I? If I see a mare in the mirror - am I suppose to behave like a mare? Famous “relax and embrace it”... Or in another way - resist it with full force? Or... Do these thoughts even have fucking meaning, honestly? I've already changed, I'm not the same person when I first woke up in Equestria, and it's only been... It hasn't even been a month yet! Damn it... How long did it take to feel magic through the horn as a usual thing, to feel a floating spoon during a dinner as a boring normality? What about the armor? What about the body’s thoughts about damned Big Mac and equalogist?... Even this rugged memory made different me... Who lacks something important, some solid basis. Feelings for the unknown, associations, that lead nowhere, and ideals, based on the unknown - this is what I have left... New reality just has to fill the blanks and... Putting my hand to my heart: I won't give myself more than fifteen years until complete and ultimate transformation into a pony-mare. In reality, I guess, it would be a way shorter... Of course you can resist your own body, but for how long?... No matter how I’m scared of this changed and no matter how I try to buy time, sooner or latter I’ll be just morally exhausted to live on “two fronts”, in a manner of speaking. Mind tires of fighting... But the body doesn't care. Body doesn't fight anything - it just functions as prescribed by the nature: casually produces estrogens - or what mares have? - usually grades males in the field of its vision in terms of being able to continue the family... This is like fighting fucking water. For my life - you cannot swim against the stream endlessly. Stronger will get tired later, softy - sooner, but the river... Yeah... Damn it... Fuck this thing!... Stop your fucking break down! Just have to accept sexual identity as non-existing, the corresponding organs as a boring and an unremarkable standard, learn to treat all this with proper indifference. I looked down at my belly mechanically and sighed. Thought lost its persuasion very sharply. What a fucking situation I’m in... ... “Well, have you met Bulk, dear?” Rarity greeted me with a wave of a hoof when I left the spa and came up under the sunshade of a cocktail bar, situated to the opposite where we had agreed to wait for each other after the procedures. “And how do you find this prominent stallion, m?” Unicorn played with her brows. “As a not bad spec.” I didn't accept the joking tone. I don't want to joke on this topic - and I don't want to touch it at all. “Do you think as well, that he... M-m... Got a little bit carried away by the musculature? Muscular stallions are beauty, but you have to know when enough is enough, right? And His Serenity Prince Blueblood knows when it's enough...” Mare rolled her eyes dreamily. “By the way, have you met him in the castle, Nightmare? Is he really so beautiful and well-built as on the photo?” “Haven't.” I cut it off grimly. “And do me a favor: discuss stallions with someone else, yeah?” “O-o, you prefer to be naughty with mares, Nightmare?” Rarity smiled from ear to ear with some foretaste. “I prefer to be naughty with sharp iron, which goes perfectly into those, who like to get on my nerves with such questions!” I couldn't hold it. “So many of nosy ones, damn you... First Applejack, now you...” “Sorry...” Swallowing nervously, unicorn drooped in a hurry.” Please, do not threat. It’s...” She falter shyly, looking clearly frightened at the same time. Goddam. “Start to think already, blockhead...” I swore at myself in thought. “I must be sorry, not you.” I stood up, got round the table, at which we settled down, hugged the mare with a bit of my wing. “Just... Well... Close relationship is... Is a sore point for me. And... Sorry, Rarity.” “Sometimes I forget who I’m talking to.” Sighing quietly, she shook her head. “I remember, when a single phrase thrown out would make my mane stand up in fright...” “Forget?” I chuckled with some irritation, that even I did not fully understand. “Do you know much about me to forget something?” Unicorn didn't answer. I... Am I being too hard?... “Waitress!” I demanded into the space. After a brief pause, a pegasus in uniform ran up to the table, hesitantly crumpling and walking nervously at a distance from me and Rar's table before, clearly not daring to approach herself. Now she has no choice and the winged one, losing courage desperately, came closer nonetheless. "Big chocolate cocktail. Rarity?” “Thanks, but...” “And a standard milk one.” “F-fine, miss!” Waitress ran to the bar. “Stop.” I nailed her to the floor with a singe word, casting a gaze at clearly upset Rarity. “Ice cream. With cream and chocolate crumbs, three... Four scoops. That’s all.” “Fine, miss!” Pegasus repeated and hastened to execute the order. “Again, sorry. I think... Well, I didn't want to scare you.” I apologized to the unicorn awkwardly again, settling down on my place opposite to her. Damn, I always was a master of saying apologizes, yeah... “It’s nothing.” Rarity smiled faintly and, looking at me, hastened to look away. The only one who, besides Pinkie, hasn't been doing so just ten minutes ago. “Rarity. Look in my eyes.” “Nightmare, I...” Designer hesitated. She didn't raise her eyes. The mood, already not a shining one, went down to the bottom like a falling plane. The worst of it - I barely know what to do now. Rar just started to see me as someone better than “The evil Mare in the Moon”, but just one phrase, that was understood by her as a threat - a highly real threat - and everything went into a dumpster. Damned horses with their damned pacifism! There wouldn't be a thousand originals among all the seven fucking billion people who would take it seriously! So seriously! And during the same time, her criticism, like she knew me thoroughly, was an unexpected and unpleasant blow to me... A heavy uncomfortable silence fell around the table, and when it was cut off by a shy voice of the waitress, I was almost happy about it. “Y-your order...” Pegasus muttered shyly, carrying a tray with the order on her back and, with help of wings, surprisingly skillfully put everything onto the table. “Thanks.” I nodded gloomily. “Do you have alcohol here?” “N-no.” She shook her head in a hurry. “Sad. Give me the bill, then.” “H-here.” Sweeping a gaze over the paper, I handed the marked number of money over to the mare wordlessly, which hastened to go away after that. Catching the high glass and, getting rid of the straw, I took a sip. A thick, cold liquid with a bright chocolate flavor melted inside, not lifting my mood even for an inch. I love cocktails, but now I drink them without any pleasure - even the pleasant taste did not help at all. Rarity picked at the ice cream reluctantly. “Think, that Tia spared my life for nothing?” I asked into the space. “What?! Of course I don't!” Unicorn almost jumped. “Her Highness...” “But I sometimes think, that she did it for nothing.” I interrupted the interlocutor, fixing unfocused eyes at my glass. “Bu-ut...” Rarity lost courage. “Sometimes I get the feeling that this world... is not for the ones like me. It doesn't want to accept the ones like me.” “I think you're wrong, Nightmare.” Unicorn answered after a minute and a scoop of the ice cream. “I think, that it is you, who doesn't want to accept the world, not the other way around. I understand - many things have changed, it's uneasy, but...” “Explain yourself.” Tia, as I remember, told me something similar... But then it was about me, having a hard time believing in the reality of the world at all. I was believing, though... But, it's like I didn't want to or... I don't know. I knew I've got here, but didn't want to accept it, I guess. And now I accepted it, didn't I?... Yeah, most probably... Of course it was clear, that there’s no way back, but... A-a... Well, I live here further - and that’s all. Because of no choice. But what meant Rar? “It's like you push others away intentionally, for example.” “What do you mean?” I didn't get it. “They run away from me by their will, putting the tail between the legs. Knowing my created reputation here - it's not a surprise. And you perfectly remember our first trip to the spa and how you were persuading Aloe to go out from under the table.” I chuckled. “And also I remember you, standing near and grinning evilly from ear to ear instead of acting and helping poor Aloe!” Rarity casted a harsh gaze. “I apologized.” “Because I told you to! Answer honestly, dear: would you apologized yourself?” “You see, I don't make choices for the others - should they be afraid of or not. Everyone has a head on his shoulders. Mature ponies can choose for themselves - to go under a table or invite me to a spa. So no, I wouldn't.” “So, according to that logic, it's not your fault that you scared me ten minutes ago, because you threatened me, it's my fault because I was scared?” Interlocutor gazed at me for the first time during the conversation. Prickly and critical gaze. “What answer would satisfy you?” I looked gloomily in answer. “I wasn't going to scare you, demonstrating my... My dislike to the topic. I’m surprised, that you took it to heart, I didn't want it.” “Surprised?!” Rarity started to gasp from indignation. “I asked a question - you said, that you beat those, who ask such questions! Thereafter!... Maybe, I really know you badly.” Mare interrupted herself and looked at the glass with cocktail darkly: ice cream is no more already. “There’s no one, who knows me well...” I dropped sadly. Everyone who did come to my... To my funerals for sure. There. I, sighing, looked around. It seems, that our conversation on a bit elevated tones wasn't short of attention... “Nothing to do?!” I asked surrounding idlers grimly. Everything came into a motion, ponies hastened to feign being busy. “Abyss forbid, I’ll hear gossips about that...” I promised loudly into the scape. Moving shifted into high gears. Rarity casted a condemned gaze at me and, shaking head displeasedly, got back to the cocktail. I followed suit: there’s still a few small sips in my glass... “Thanks for the food and drinks, Nightmare.” After a couple of minutes, Rarity thanked me, impeccably polite, but noticeably chilly, as she set her empty glass aside. “I hope this ice cream wasn't a lot worse than from Cloudsdale?” I smiled with my lips only. Whether I am right or not, but Rarity’s disappointment was... Unpleasant. A stupid feeling in my chest says, that it's me, who is not right, but why should I? “Everything is great, thanks.” Mare smiled like for a protocol, causing me to cringe in thought. “Okay.” I nodded. “So... Is our agreement still valid? Or would you either choose to sulk more, even though I apologized?” I didn't hold myself. "I’m not sulking!” She answered in a lady’s offended tone. “Agreement... Is valid. I’m not going to go back on my word. Let’s go?” “Let’s go.” I raised from the table and moved towards the exit. “Nightmare, sorry, but didn't you forget something?” Rarity's question caught up me. I gazed at the table, at my bags. Everything is on its place. I paid the bill... “No.” Rar, looking at me again, shook her head judgmentally and, putting a few coins onto the table, hastened to join. ... “A break?” I shut my eyes. Horn tingles, neck hurts a bit... “Yeah.” “Okay. You can take something to read over there if you want to, or, for example, get down to the store to look something you may be interested in. I have to get back to my order.” Rarity hastened to focus at the marked dress-pattern. I, warming up neck cautiously, left the workshop wordlessly and entered house owner's bedroom, which was opposite to find something “to read”. Rar was still sulking and was not ashamed to show it, keeping a deliberately cool demeanor, but she still practiced telekinesis with me, as we had agreed. Practiced, in my amateur opinion, not bad, even though without glowing enthusiasm. I just couldn't understand why her treatment hurts me so well... It wasn't on purpose, I apologized, Rar didn't take her word back and started to teach me... The logic goes: the question is over, but the demonstrative Rarity’s sulking at something unknown should have meant for me nothing if this unicorn does what she promised to, but... It should have meant nothing, but it means something. It’s unpleasant to feel her grievance. Something is gnawing... I took a thoughtful look behind my back. I can't understand what’s going on with her, but I will have to in any case, but later. The signs are clear - it’s better for you to go away and be under the radar for the next half an hour... Fine. I came up to a small bookshelf, looked at the backs. “The Love in the Hight castle”, of course - a local classic of an adventure loving melodrama after all, “Kiss through half the world” - all three volumes, “Love and stars”, “The Prince's Chosen”, “Wings of lust” - five volumes, “Pony for me”, “A wing and a heart”... I remember my rather big surprise, when I saw Twilight reading it. Then, however, the unicorn, scarlet as a Soviet flag, hiding the book behind her back, explained confusedly that it was only to get acquainted with the material, to know what the readers want, and she herself, of course, is not interested in anything like that, she is a serious mare, a scientist and it’s not allowed here because of her rank ... The only things I had to do were smiling, nodding and trying to not burst into laughter. However, she was right about something: the books of this genre in her library were, I think, probably the most popular - more than once I heard the unicorn’s sad refusal in giving them out because all three or five copies had already been dispersed among those who wanted to read them. After that, as a rule, she offered to take something similar, which, if there were several visitors, often led to a discussion of the plot... So I, to my own surprise, had an approximate idea of what the book was about even by just reading the title. Looking at the backs again, I chuckled, meeting a something known title: this one was read by me. “Ponies and love”, and against its name, it wasn’t a regular melodrama, but real stories of relationships. Written in the style of a collection of interviews by a team of co-authors, it was read by me for a better understanding of pony society and exposed that society to me from a slightly different angle than I was used to. And from this angle it seemed like a freaking brothel! Relationships here, yeah... We-e-ell... I sighed. I may not remember my parents anymore, but I can remember the feeling and relationships in the family. Such relationships, that I've been respecting as an ideal all my life. And the locals with their approach to the matter cause... Bewilderment. Herds, same-sex marriages, cross-species marriages from griffons to dragons... Generally, local morals are even wider, than in the Netherlands, for example. Here, in the book, a stallion’s story: pregnant wife comes to him with another mare and says, that she found a lover for him, for his entertainment... “And don't worry, I slept with her a few times, she's not bad in bed...” But it's okay, not the greatest example. The greatest one is another stallion’s story: wife comes, says, that she found a lover. A beautiful pony, and his wife too... Here’s the address, come to them as well, spend a night, get acquainted. If you like it - we can create a combined herd... And... What the fuck?... Crazy horses... And the strangest of this is the fact, that such news from wifes and husbands are not treated as something bad! Only hushing it up causes questions, but if a husband said to his wife honestly, that he's found a lover... Well, if the wife says something against it - you must, of course, tone it down, but if she doesn't - no problem at all. It’s some absurdity. An the most interesting fact is that during such free relationships ponies somehow managed to wash their dirty linen at home and keep outer pastoral and modesty... Nah, every was more adequate back home... “And the gender was more familiar.” I remembered the today’s rest at the swimming pool with a gloomy sigh. Damn it... Okay, fine. What else is here?... ... The next thing, that Rarity suggested to practice, when she called me to continue, was fine manual skills. If you can say so about the telekinesis... M, fine manipulation skills, yeah. Initially, the unicorn tried, despite my desperate resistance, to do a dictation, but, after looking at the result and taking honourless casualties - two quills - she thought it was too early for that. She squinted, though, with suspicion - did I do it on purpose. I didn't. I tried hardly, and I said it to her. I don't know if she believed it or not. In general, as a result, I got a pencil and an offer to draw something, preferably with small details. The usual chains and volumetric pluses from school were written quite confidently, even in spite of the absence of the usual "checkered" layout on the sheet - it was much easier with a pencil, and I got used to it much better than to a quill. When I had finished drawing another geometric abstraction, I pushed the scribbled sheet aside and picked up a fresh one. What to draw?... I wanted to try to depict something more substantial, more simple things come out without much difficulty... I raised my gaze and, looking for inspiration, looked around the room. Opposite to me, narrowing eyes behind glasses, biting tongue and working with a few pencils at once, Rarity was working tensely. There were cabinets with boxes of buttons, clasps, and other accessories, racks with rolls of fabric, a sewing machine, a mannequin - a ponyquin in the local vocabulary - something like a drawing board, but with with sketches and concepts pinned to it on buttons, a clock was ticking... I looked at the dial thoughtfully. How long have I been here? Not about Rarity’s place, but generally... Three-ish weeks, I guess?... After two or so relatives will come to the funerals, it’s been 40 days when I... When I died. Died there. And the fact, that I’m here, alive and almost healthy - and no one of them will ever know about it... Unfair! It’s okay for me: I lived with sins and died ridiculously, but why they must suffer? However, life is used to be an unrighteous piece of shit, let’s face it... Just remember in which body I live now... I sighed, lowering my eyes to where the pencil was rustling on the paper, obeying my horn and almost automatically drawing the outlines of the pony's head on the paper with precise, professional movements. If fate had forced me earlier, on the Moon, when Nightmare was... Alive - maybe, I would have been able to help her? We would have had to share this body, but... This is where I would have been and nothing you can do with it. When there’s no one to rescue, the only thing that remains is to avenge for the unknown poor mare, which, likely gave a second life to me exactly by her death as a rational personality... Muffled sob aside of me caused me to shiver and got me back into reality. Rarity stood near and looked at something at the table, tears were running down the unicorn's cheeks. I followed her gaze and shivered again: from the sheet, on which I was drawing someone mechanically while in thought, stared... Nightmare. Not me. The one, which is on the Moon forever.... Stared with desperation and dread in her wide-opened eyes, her mouth opened in a voiceless scream and... Skin, that flows down her face like liquid wax, under which white bones of the skull could be seen. “Six hundred years of loneliness. All-embracing and absolute. And Nightmare understood, that her personality was disintegrating, felt, sensed that disintegration!” My own old thought came up to the surface in memory... Felt. But couldn't do anything with it, no matter how she tried... Forcing my gaze to look away from the scary picture, I, swallowing lump in my throat with force, turned the sheet upside down swiftly, but it stuck in memory and continued to be before my eyes. They were all well remembered, drawings from the Moon. This is a third on this topic... Nightmare loved to draw. It diverted her at least for a bit... I shook my head with force, biting a cheek at the same time to get rid of the obsession. I almost “dove”... It's was a mistake to behavior in such manner with Nightmare, blue ass scumbag. I won't forget this, you bastard, you hear me?! “N-nightmare...” Rarity panted, lifting tearful eyes at me. “I was screaming, begging her to return until I lost my voice.” I said, fixing a thoughtful gaze at the upside-down drawing. “One small problem: there wasn't a sound that could be heard on this damned Moon.” Looking at the end of the pencil for a few seconds in some obsession, I, shaking head, stood sharply, dropping it onto the table and, exiting the room, went down to the first room, trying to get rid of the feeling, that I can't get enough air. As I walked to the unoccupied - as a show-case - window and froze in front of it, looking into nothing, I suddenly realized, that I was holding something with my telekinesis. The picture was seen in the grab, no idea when I brought it with me. Somber, repellent... And at the same time, you cannot force your gaze to look away... Shivering, I folded the sheet double hastily and, freezing for a few seconds with a thought to rip it, put it into the bag anyway. You feared to remember things, that Nightmare had been creating on the Moon? Here it is, in your bag. With all the emotions, that were put into it. A piece of the Moon here, in Equestria. Hard time running away from the past, yeah? Because you cannot run away from yourself... I chuckled nervously.
30. Poison For The SoulAuthor's Note "Well... The positive chapters are over. I don't know if it's because of the covid or just the general fall mood, but... I just hope I haven't lost my MLP vibe completely." Original author's note. 30. Poison For The Soul “Damn it...” I looked at myself in the mirror gloomily with a noise of water from the tap,. Reflection with tired and annoyed stupor looked in answer in the same gloomy manner with its red eyes and turgid eyelids. I sighed and dabbled cold water at my face once again. Closed eyes with force, blinked a thousand times. Didn't work. Turned off the water, blotted fur with a towel hastily and crawled out of the bathroom, nearly tripping over the threshold. “Is everything okay?” Twilight came up shyly, hiding gaze. “Of course, everything is just fine! Or you can't see it?!” Feigning an idiotic smile, I spitted out poisonously. Twi shrank her head into her shoulders. “She's not guilty in this situation. She just takes care of you!” I said to myself in thought. “Sorry, Twilight. I’m not myself.” I sighed. “I understand.” Mare sighed as well. “Have you found something?” “Nothing.” She drooped. “And... I wrote about everything to Princess Celestia Sorry, I knew you was against it...” “It's fine, forget it After today’s night I, honestly, not sure if it's a bad idea...” Cringing, I rubbed my pained temple. “How was your sleep in the basement? Oh, it even sounds awful...” “How do you think?” I smiled askew. “As in any other place now: awful.” “Sorry...” “Forget it. Better say to me - did you sleep well? Was my move there in vain?” “It was good.” Unicorn dropped eyes awkwardly, she's clearly not happy about my move into underground. I don't know why, though... “Golden Oak’s” basement was beautiful and barely differs from the rest of the library. Except for the absence of windows. I think, that the biggest role is that I moved there not for the fun of it. I’m being literally killed by nightmares. What started out a week ago as just some restless dreams, that I couldn't remember in the morning, two days ago turned so violent, that I was woken up at four in the morning by Twilight, which was as white as chalk, swallowing tears and in sheer horror. Spike, which had been helping her, wasn't looking greatly better. And there’s nothing to say about me... I spent the rest of the night in the kitchen, slurping glass after glass of tea with soothing herbs and reading some meaningless romantic nonsense, or rather, mindlessly sliding my eyes over the text, not perceiving what was written. I couldn't fall asleep until yesterday anymore. I feared to see the past in a dream again. Loneliness, madness and the Moon. And on the next night - everything repeated itself. Again the strange, insanely clear realization, that you are in a dream... And memories, pushed to the farthest corner of my memory, carrying with them feelings and sensations. Twilight was about to send a letter to Tia - I persuaded her not to. Probably for nothing... In the morning I packed my things and moved down to the basement to not wake the others with terrible moans, screams and gnashing of teeth. Fucking hell, I haven't slept in three days, or... Four. Three? A-a, damn it, what’s the difference. All the things that I had carefully avoided, even in my mind, still reached me in my dreams, and now I had no idea what to do with this situation. It’s better for me to dream of my home, as always... It’s sad, but you will whine from fear and despair in the Nightmare’s memories. I don't know how much longer I'll last... But I know to whom I owe such "fun" nights: there's only one pony, who knows how to control the dreams of others, and it's just her - what a coincidence! - who is not against to taunt on my grave at all! And this scumbag strikes the softest spot! She understands, how painful it was to see her betrayal - and just reminds me about that. What a bitch you are, Luna... If only Tia could see your nature... “Nightmare, breakfast is ready... Let’s go, you must eat.” Twilight touched me carefully. I, looking at the unicorn gloomily, nodded and couldn't hold a bone-chilling yawn, following her. Feigning a greeting to Spike, I fell onto the stool and, tossing the first spoon of porridge into mouth, started to thoughtlessly eat it, not even feeling the flavor. I just want to sleep, God... But the perspective of closing eyes and being once again in the darkest and scariest corners of my past kept my head straight and didn't allow eyelids to shut. “Nightmare?” “A?” I was brought back into reality, understanding, that I was called like three times. “You asked me to remind you, that you wanted to visit Rarity today.” Twilight looked at me compassionately. “Yeah, thanks.” I nodded dully, cringing in thought. Telekinesis training, damn... But what's the pros of it in such conditions... Ending with the porridge and polishing it off by tea, I moved to my room. Made it half the stairs, cursed, turned around. Now basement is my room... Usually put on the armor and changeless bags, put on the helmet. Looked at what's left with a blank glance - a bed on a tourist carpet, and every other thing is on me... Twilight met me at the first floor again. “Nightmare, sorry, that I didn't say it earlier... Forecasters said, that there would be a storm, right after the breakfast...” Unicorn hesitated. It’s really dreary outside the windows: locally small heavy clouds blocked the Sun and threatened to pour down in the nearest time. “I don't give a heck.” I waved away with a wing indifferently. “I’m not sugar, I won't melt away.” “Maybe you don't? It’s better for you t... Rest... Oh, sorry...” Laying back her ears, mare stopped short at her last words. “Everything is better than such dreams.” I muttered, opened the door, and stepped out the threshold into the strong pre-thunderstorm wind, bringing dampness and stuffiness with it I remember, in this wind I always regretted my lack of a long, pompous raincoat... Somewhere on the side of the Canterlot Mountains, a flash of lightning appeared and thunder rumbled, and the first drop fell on my nose. People were rapidly disappearing from the streets, and soon I was clattering along the pavement with only the wind, chasing leaves, branches, and a piece of cloth, carried away from someone's window, and the rain, gradually gaining strength. ... “Nightmare!” Rarity gasped, when she opened the door a bit. “You're soaked completely! Quick, come in, dear, I’ll make tea in a moment!” Unicorn gave room, letting me inside, and then ran to the kitchen. My lips touched a smile: it's nice to be greeted like this... I shook off the cold water as usual and followed Rarity, only now beginning to feel, that it was really cold in the rain and wind. Also, once in the warmth, the body began to rapidly fall asleep... Bastard! I shook head furiously, trying to get rid of the pressing sleepiness. And if I drink warm tea now - no doubt, I’ll fall asleep in a second. After saying hello to Sweetie, who looked up from the stairs to see who it was, I crept into the kitchen, yawning frantically and feeling my legs weakening with every step, where I hurried to settle down at the table and rest my heavy head on it, watching the fidgeting unicorn half-eyed. The picture, for some reason, started to darken and drift somewhere aside until it was complete blackness. No, it was darkness. Impenetrable, thick darkness, which, apparently, can be chopped with a knife, came with a strong feeling of someone's gaze behind my back. I turned around. No one. Complete silence and voicelessness - just the darkness swirling around, and the same feeling of someone else's unfriendly gaze. I turned around again: I think I saw something appearing for a moment in the darkness... Wait. I’m sleeping. Damn it! I’m out... It seemed, that the realization of this should have calmed the growing restlessness, but... I did not know how to make myself wake up, but I knew, that the dream, sooner or later, would lead me to the darkest and scariest corners of my memory... Something chill and disgustful suddenly touched a side, causing me to jump aside... ...To spread eagle on the floor noisily, with jaws and ribs hit, feeling my heart is pounding in the temples. “Nightmare!” Nervous Rarity came close to me. “How are you?” “I’m crashing.” I returned onto the place, nodding thankfully to the mare, which helped me. “Nightmares are still bothering you?” She looked at me with sympathy. “It’s so disgraceful that I cannot help you! It’s awful!” Unicorn, sighing, hugged me carefully, trying to somehow support me. Yeah... After the incident with the drawing, we had a long talk... I had told Rarity almost everything, except the nuances of the origin of the person, now living in Nightmare Moon's body. It seemed, that we had been cuddling and crying at the same time until the night... Strangely enough, it has become a little bit easier, and even the realization of the fact, that there’s someone who knows - and who is not indifferent to it - makes my heart happier. And I told her about the nightmares, when they used to visit me, too... “Here, take it.” Meanwhile, Rarity put a tea bowl with a hot drink before me. “Thanks.” I nodded and kissed the bowl with tea carefully, that spreads soft aroma. “M-m...” “Should I bring a plaid for you?” She touched my back shyly. “No, I’m fine.” I waved away in thought. “I don't want to fall asleep again.” “Okay... Oh, and why am I the only one who cannot help you?” Unicorn sighed sadly, sitting down across from me. “Should I bring sedative tea? Or maybe I have some sleeping pills?...” “Useless. Yes, you fall asleep, but it cannot help against nightmares at all.” I cringed. “We’ve tried it with Twilight. She’s written a letter to Celestia, maybe she would recommend something... But she hasn't answered yet, so the best I can think of is to try to not sleep at all.” I summed up sadly and finished with the tea. “Thanks.” “It’s awful...” Rarity looked at me pitifully. Yea-ah... Funny enough - it’s exactly Rarity, who made my existence here more bearable. I didn't think it would be possible to get along exactly with her: in canon she always seemed to me as phony with her "generosity" and did not find understanding in my eyes. And just look... Her spa was more than beautiful, and her help in getting used to telekinesis... And her worriment about me looks so sincere... Yes, I’m fucked up pretty badly, but I won't give up. “I don’t know for how much I'd be able to stand, but if Luna expects me to crawl to her on the belly and give her all opportunities to do anything with me for the sake of ending it - good luck.” I chuckled gloomily, rising from the table. “I understand you, of course, but... Why are you so sure, that it’s Princess Luna...” Unicorn bit her lip thoughtfully, following me with a gaze. “Who is if not she?!” I fixed eyes on her. “Excuse me, but there’s only one pony with abilities to sweep across someone else's dreams in Equestria and doing everything she wants to! And she's a treacherous filthy bastard!” Rarity shivered, almost cringing painfully. “Nightmare! You may not get along with Princess Luna, but...” “Not get along?!” I felt my eyelid twitching. “I trusted her more than myself! I lived only for her!!! And in return, this monster left me to die from endless fear, that she turned my life into!!! Don't call it “not get along”!” I hissed the last word right to unicorn's face, which shrank under my furious gaze. “C... Calm down, p-please.” Hiding eyes, she asked quietly after a few seconds of heavy, unpleasant pause. “I will when I spit on her grave!” Lump stuck in the throat, fury pumped in my temples like bells, demanding a solution. I wanted to destroy something... Or someone. “Nightmare, dear...” Rarity touched me shyly with a well-kept hoof. “Sorry, but I think, that you... Overstate it. Well... It can be just simple nightmares by their nature... I mean, that no one sends them to you...” Mare melted into background under my heavy stare. “So much and on such a topic? O, really, it's just a coincidence! And how haven't I thought about it myself?” I put a shoe onto the forehead theatrically, making a stupid smile on the face and quickly erasing it, when I looked in the unicorn's eyes point-blank: “I appreciate your help and yada-yada... But don't get involved in something you don't understand at all! I shared one body with her and know her like the back of my hoof: Luna doesn't want some Nightmare Moon to be alive and healthy! That’s it!” I stepped back from the twitching pony and, turning around, came up to a window. There were still occasional raindrops, pounding on the glass, leaving trails of water on it. “If they were red - it would look almost like dripping blood” A strange thought came to my mind. I had never taken a cigarette in my life, but now I suddenly felt a terrible urge to smoke... To suck in the burning, disgustingly smelly smoke, full of tar and heavy metals, to feel my own life shortening... I shook my head, driving away the strange obsession. I wanted to sleep as hell... “Nightmare...” I was called shyly behind my back. I turned around with some strange grief that wasn't understandable even for me, and gazed at the white unicorn, which hastened to look away again. “Would Her Highness Princess Celestia allow someone - even her sister - to harm you? I’m sure she wouldn't allow this to happen!” I, sniffing, turned to the window, looking at the drops on the glass for some time wordlessly. “You’re underestimating Celestia's exaltation and myopia in this situation...” I chuckled sadly. “If there’s a pony, that allowed to do whatever she wants to - it’s Luna for sure. I think, that Celestia wouldn't notice anything, that can destroy her romanticized vision of “beloved and only sister”. Until she finally destroys her, like she would do with me a little earlier! Then tears for the public and accusations of me and maybe Cadence in what happened, and then Equestria would have a new ruler Favorite, only and endless: unparalleled and greatest Queen Luna! She never wanted to share power with someone and will go over cold bodies if someone stands between her and the throne!” “But it's absurd! I mean, I’m sure, that Princess Luna missed Her Highness Princess Celestia and love her to the same degree and vice versa!” “You don't believe me?!” I turned to the table with a dash again. Nerves hum like strings, as if something important lays by a hair's breadth... “Sorry, Nightmare, but I've seen them there, in the castle, and have seen them on the party in Ponyville afterwards...” Rarity raised from the table, standing opposite to me and, for the first time in days, looked in my eyes firmly and straightly. “I will never believe, that Princess Luna, whose love and respect for sister are endless, who cried so much there, in the castle, at Celestia’s shoulder and frightened to break the embrace for her to not vaporize, to plan something... Such monstrous! No offence, but it seems, that your vision is not what’s real, but what you want to see...” “She pitched a line even to you so good, that you're protecting her now!” I panted through my teeth. I wanted to scream, but the lump in my throat doesn't allow it. Fury with grievance and despair are choking me. Why?! She should have understood me! I trusted her! Thought, that she really cares about me! Worries about me! And she... She doesn't care?! How could I, imbecile, call her a friend?! What a fool!... It’s past time to understand, that there are no friends! Luna's cute muzzle and her big sorrowful eyes mean more for the locals, than rotten and disgustful soul inside! What soul toothed Nightmare with scary dragon's eyes has - no one cares! They can only shit their pants at the sight of me and run away as fast as they can! Herd of stupid coward scumbags! And the friendship is as cartoonish and unnatural as they are! “I hope, when Luna settles her croup down onto the throne, she will have a reason to kill you as well! Maybe choking in your own blood you’ll understand something!” I spitted, passing by the unicorn to the exit in a hurry pace. “Nightmare!...” “What “Nightmare”?!” I stopped at the entrance into the entrance hall. “Go kiss your Luna's croup! I trusted you!!! Spit my guts, told something!... Damned goose...” “But!...” “I don't want to know you!” Paying no more attention to the pathetic excuses that sounded behind me, I crossed the hallway-store and, with my heart, ‘till pain in the leg, I kicked the front door with my hoof, ran out into the street, without turning around, to rush away from "Carousel", heading wherever my legs want to. Even though the rain is over, I still can feel some spots on the face for some reason. Maybe it is sprinkling a bit. ... After an hour and a half I, standing at some distance from the entrance, was examining sign of “Sugarcube corner” and, maybe for the first time in life, just didn't know what to do. I calmed down after this for a... For a fucking nothing. I managed to at least partially get myself together, but there still was a firestorm inside of me. And I came here to fear to come in, to trust - and get another knife in the back. Damn it, I hate you, Rarity... Sighed, that came out from the chest by itself, made me angry for some reason. Traitors don't worth sighing about them! And yeah, stop vacillating like before the wedding night, stop whining! It cannot be worse than that. Shaking head, I stepped forward. To my silent indignation, Pinkie wasn't in “Sugarcube corner”. I had to overcome my unwillingness to speak to someone... Unwanted, and to ask questions missus Cake, that was standing behind a counter. It’s a day off for Pinkie - she asked for it - and, as far as the owner of the shop knew, planned to spend the time with Dash. Yeah, the colored one, as far as I knew, was out of jail - and this damned alive symbol of the LGBT community immediately started to make my life worse and get in the way! First, she disrupted my practice of the magic beam, when enthusiastic Twilight rushed away to meet her, feigning apologizes: I've been begging her for days to show me this simple combat spell! Fine, it wasn't that hard - I could figure that out even with my head, curved from the sleeplessness. And now, instead of “Pinkie is at the working place” I have “Pinkie is nowhere to be seen” exactly when I need her! Damn it, I should have kicked this Trash for a longer while: maybe she would have left the hospital a week later and not been so annoying! You can bet your sweet life, that Pinkie ran to her to do some more “funni things” like yesterday's ones... Got nothing to do?... They even hit upon the idea of changing Twilight's ink to invisible one. It was a real “help” considering the fact, that she was doing magic with flasks to make a more effective sleep aid for me and was writing down intermediate results. And strangely enough, she hadn't been laughing when her notes just vaporized. Damn it, I almost wanted the colored one to get on my nerves with her brainy creative: could have gotten into the hospital again and wouldn't have been an eyesore to me! And this idiot wasn't against it for sure: I remember rainbow mane, being in my area of visibility, but, unfortunately, nothing happened. But I hoped for it - there could have been a reason to break someone's face... I doubt stupid Dash having breaks and not deciding to act first - Pinkie persuaded not to for sure... Fine: I’m sure, that there would be another reason to beat the hell out of this colored idiot, and not even one. But Pinkie would get from me for this leisure even without a spare reason - not allowed to do so. But sometime after, when I’ll have the right mood... ... Damn, where the heck she is? She is here and there, and even, by the boss’ words, the pink one, that planned to spend time with Dash, has been seen around the library and alone... I felt my rage's grow. This bumming, Sun's blinding, stupid horses are running around to God knows where! I've had enough! This Twilight... What an idiot. I ask “Where’s Pinkie?”, answer - a lecture about Rainbow friend's arrival - Gilda the Griffon - and Pinkie is very jealous of her. “Jealous”, yeah - I remembered something about that, how she was bullying Pinkie in the canon. I’m already looking forward to meeting her... Twilight, while I was trying to remember the canon, managed to lecture me about Pinkie’s “inappropriate” behavior, mention some researches about psychology, and then, only after that, finally, said the answer for my question, saying, that she gave a hint to our pink friend to peacefully rest in the cafe, drink cocktail and calm down. After that she hastened to get rid of me on the excuse of... Being busy! Couldn't you answer my question right off the bat, fucking busy one?! She's a fan of shooting the shit, God damn her... I’ll tackle Pinkie's behavior without you anyway! I literally flew out of the library, then spent about five minutes, cursing quietly and digging with my hoof fiercely to blow off some steam: it was a challenge to not snap at that nerd. At least this time, the pink mare was where I was said to look for: at the market, in a cafe near it, if to be precise. She looked uncharacteristically gloomy, sitting alone at the table, with only an untouched glass of some cocktail, and seemed to be talking to herself. I paused, watching with wistful thoughtfulness as she said something to herself, gesticulating vigorously. I searched so much, and when I found her, I realized, that I didn't know for what... I wanted to believe, that she would understand me and... But does it worth a shot? I already somehow believed, that Rarity would understand me... A rotten brute, just like her beloved Luna... There was some movement at the market, and I looked over there. People, with fleeting smiles, parted before Fluttershy, walking backwards awkwardly and leading a family of ducks or something through the square. Unwanted smile showed up for a moment even on my face. It looked... Heart-piercing. My legs carried me towards the yellow pegasus themselves - I wanted to capture a little more of the positivity, that this cute little pony was radiating. “Hey!” A barbaric shout brought me back into reality. “O-oh... E-excuse me p-please, I...” Fluttershy shrank under griffon's gaze, which she bumped accidentally into in a stream... Where ponies gave her way preemptively. “Don't you see - I’m walking here!” This chicken exclaimed and pushed the pegasus roughly. Atte-ention... I hastened the pace, separating and pushing aside a few spectators, that watched the scene. “O-oh, s-sorry... I... I j-just was trying...” “So-o-oryy, so-o-ory, excu-u-se me.” Griffon cringed. “Are you blind or stupid, pony? Have you shoved your eyes into your ass or your nut-like brain isn't capable of understanding, that you have to look where you’re going? A?!” Griffon tried to grab Fluttershy by the lapels with a fore paw, but it slipped off, only leaving a bleeding wound on the pegasus’ chest from a claw. Pegasus stepped back, swallowing tears and messing about excuses. I froze, feeling the pure, unconfused rage, that started to run through my arteries instead of blood, until my teeth gritted. “Dead.” The promise, thrown out loud in an emphatically calm tone caused the assembled onlookers to turn their attention to me and disperse very hastily as I moved forward again. “Pf! I've had enough of stupid ponies, who do nothing, but get in the way!” Meanwhile, a pile of organic fertilizer - will be in three minutes - exclaimed it demonstratively, unfolding wings and starting to take off. Moment... Yep! Telekinesis tightened on the griffon's tail right at the moment of blowing with wings to take off, but she got a powerful and, as I think, painful rush right back to Earth instead. Griffon, moaning, spreadeagled on the causeway. Some pony started to laugh shyly, some picked that up. “Oh, you shouldn't be laughing, citizens: you can actually injure your spine that way... However, I don't think back problems will ruin a chicken's old age. The chicken would be in a soup a wa-a-y earlier.” I grinned evilly. “Ugh, bloody shit...” Raising up, Gilda shared her experience. “Keep laughing, stupid vegetarians!!! What a wanker dared...” She turned around in a hurry, bumping with her nose... Bill into my breastplate. She silenced. Lifted eyes distrustfully. “Listen, stupid big sack of hay, I’ll kick your ass for it right now!” I dropped from the reality for a second, not believing my ears. Of course, griffons have hardly heard about Nightmare Moon, but this... Griffon, using my stupor, came closer and now, unfolding wings, fluffing feathers and ruffling up truculently, gazed at me with an unkind stare. ...But we can fix it. A magic beam ran out from my horn's tip. Griffon, taking off sharply, judged it, even though a painful look appeared on her face for a moment - tail's put wasn't in vain. Someone from the idlers, by the scream, wasn't so lucky. Not a bad result as well. “Hah, missed! I mean, hit: one stupid pony hit another one!” Gilda started to laugh. Laugh while you have reasons to. It's good that you thought of taking off, that's what I was really hoping for... Do you know why it's better to put things on the ground? Nothing falls off the ground. Count, shut eyes for a moment, create a flash before enemy's eyes, move closer swiftly, grab a wing’s tip by telekineses on the flap, put it down sharply - and disoriented griffon falls onto stones from solid four-five meters like a bag. A dozen of seconds. How cocky she was... Pathetic. Gilda, uttering half moan - half sob and narrowing eyes blindly, tried to get up. Wing, which was pulled by me, hung limply, and judging by some unusual pose, spine got its good part as well... “You cannot get up, can't you?” I felt sorry for her dramatically. “I’ll help you.” Turquoise cloud of telekinesis appeared around griffon's neck, lifting her up at the level of my gaze. Griffon twitched in the grab, twitching wings and pawing her neck with fore legs in panic. “You know, scavenger.” I smiled trustfully to the griffon, having frog in her throat.” It’s good, that I met you. I haven't killed griffons for so long, that I can't remember the sound of their neck breaking, can you imagine that? But it's okay, you’ll recall it, right?” I added force, tightening the noose... “Nightmare!!!” I was bumped into a side tangibly. “Don't! Let her go! Please!” What?! Who?.. I turned to the voice sharply. Fluttershy. Eyes full of tears. Looks at me with clear dread. Begs to... To let this creep go? I swifted gaze to Gilda, which already started to roll eyes and, waiting a little, nailed her into the ground heartily with a short rustle before loosening my grab. Okay, you're allowed to live, bitch. After a few seconds, griffon started to move on the causeway with husky cough and painful moans, gradually recovering herself. “Listen closely, crossbreed of a garbage cat with a garbage raven.” I jabbed her with a shoe into the ribs, causing painful hiss. “I don’t know where Fluttershy, which you dared to attack, heard a hint of an appeal for forgiveness in your groans and moans, asking to release you, and I don't agree with her, but... You're breathing right now only because she asked me.” I nodded towards friend's standing. “But her request doesn't mean, that I’ll continue to tolerate your flea-ridden skin further: I give you half an hour to get out of Ponyville and never be seen by me for the entirety of your pathetic life! Failing this...” I touched her neck with telekinesis meaningfully. Judging by the Gilda’s twitch, she learned some things. “Night, it's not right!” “What “is not” right?” I turned around and eyed Pinkie, which just came here, from head to foot with a dissatisfied look. I’m tired of you, getting in my way! From the right, from the left, from the fucking... “She's hurt! We must help her! Of course she's a thief, a bully and bandit, but...” “No.” “W...What? No?! But she's in pain. You...” “In pain...” I chuckled gloomily. I’m in pain as well there, inside - but did someone of you even care about it... “In pain, sack of hay, imagine that... O-oh... Damn you a thousand times...” Somehow stood up griffon said in a hoarse voice under her breath, but the alicorn's hearing didn't let down. “Pain?” I specified with a feeling and sweet voice, lowering head and looking in Gilda’s eyes. She stepped back. “You know, I can easily treat that... Dead bodies do not have pain at all!!!” “Nightmare!...” Griffon stumbled, falling onto the wounded paw with hiss and squawk. “Get out of the town. Now.” Erasing any intonation in the voice, I summed up, closing in and hanging over the griffon. “Or everything, that's left of you, would fit in a cup.” Standing up with difficulty and giving me the last gaze, in which hatred and fear on the verge of terror oddly mixed, Gilda, turning around, started to cripple away. “Damned scavenger.” After following her with a heavy gaze for a dozen of seconds, I cringed and, turning around, looked around. The square was, expectedly, practically empty: the one loser, who had been shot by a stray shot, was enough for everyone, and the few who remained, were just now beginning to emerge from their hiding places, looking towards me with outright fear. I hope this scavenger didn't hurt Fluttershy severely... Had to intervene from the start, damn it. Scream from afar could have... God, where's she? I turned to Fluttershy, but she wasn't on her previous spot. I even turned back, looking behind my back, but yellow pegasus vanished into the air for some reason. But a little further away, Pinkie Pie was sitting right on the causeway. I’ll ask her. Yeah, she looks pretty bad... “Pinkie! How are you? Where’s Flutty? She's alright? Is she okay?” There was a kind of tension, like a premonition, that didn't leave me. Pinkie... Looked bad. Do my eyes let me down from the sleeplessness or she's really lost some of her color?... And that pose, nervously sitting and staring at the ground... And the ears drooping... “No, she's not.” Slowing, earthpony finally panted. “She couldn't look at what you're doing and fled. Where to - I don't know. Don't look for her, please - you’ll scare her.” A voice trembling with tension, almost devoid of intonation, which was so atypical - no, more: impossible! - for the pink mare started to give me chills. “Okay, will work it out later...” I mumbled. Flutty’s fright was clearly understandable and obvious: what's good about fighting? Especially for such a soft and touchy pony as she. I'm not sure, but she did come up and ask for Gilda's forgiveness during the process... And then she ran away? It's weird, though... Okay, when in doubt leave it out. Got scared of the fight, plus... plus a scratch deep enough for me to notice, even from a distance. By the way, she could've gone off to get it fixed... Anyway, it seemed, that it wasn't that bad with Fluttershy. Pinkie, on the other hand, started to give me worriment... “Pinkie, how are you?” I touched her shoulder carefully with the fold of my leg. She, surprisingly, recoiled back as if my touch burnt her. “Worse than... than ever." She strained and looked up at me with tear-stained blue eyes. “I believed, that you have changed, that you have changed for the better, that you were no longer as creepy evil as you were when you wanted to steal the Sun! And you... And I...” “Like I hadn't reasons to do it!” Anger rose heavily inside. “I was defending the pony I owed and which couldn't defend herself!” It was a challenge to not let the scream out. “Fluttershy, which you "was defending”, ran away from you and now will be afraid of even getting out of her house! You was not defending!” Rising up, Pinkie made a few steps back. The pink-haired pony's voice rang indignantly. I remembered my own thoughts after my first normal meeting with Flutty: I don't give a heck about others, but she shouldn't be afraid of me. And shouldn't regret her protection. Didn't I go too far?... “You was hurting Gilda - and you liked it!” Gradually rising tone, the angry baker continued. “You're heartless-heartless villain! Dangerous and... And evil! Princess should have you...” I shivered. Pinkie cut herself off abruptly, clearly biting her tongue and covering her mouth with a hoof frighteningly, but the message was still very clear. Wish you didn't exist at all. “So here we are...” A lump got into my throat. “You, the first one who called me friend, now say this, yeah?...” I remember thinking about her: “A friend in need is a friend indeed”. A need is here. And where are your friends, huh?... “Oh, no-no-no, I!...” “You have been lying to me the whole time! You all have been! And I thought, that at least you really believed in me... Your so-called "friendship" has cost me a lot, but now I see, that all these words, as it turned out, were, in fact, worthless! Nah, just an empty talk! What an idiot!...” I exhaled, feeling the burn out inside me at the same time, and the strange apathy, that came over me. “My head, of course, is not worth much either, because it has never had a brain, but I hope that now I finally understand that trusting others is a fatal mistake." The last words sounded quiet and indifferent: there was no moral strength left for emotion. I wanted to scream, cry, kill others and die myself, but... All these desires seemed completely unnecessary and pointless. Everything around me seemed unnecessary and pointless... It just suddenly didn't matter. Complete freedom. The will to do anything, because there is no one and nothing else that matters at all. I, laughing quietly, looked at the earthpony, shuddering and shrinking because of my laughter and turned away and wandered to God knows where. Damn it, when did it start raining again?...
31. The Princess of NothingLuna flew into her chambers and, barely holding tears, fall onto the bed, burying her face in a pillow. Celestia, coming in next, hid her gaze guiltily, staring at the floor. “Luna, I... Sorry, I just wanted... O-oh, how could I take this silly idea seriously?...” The Princess of the Sun sighed, shutting eyes disappointedly. Luna didn't answer. The only thing on the Night Princess’ mind was the sinister “press-conference”, as her sister called it. "Princess Luna, do you really think your sister acted in good conscience by leaving you there alone with the spirit and not trying to rescue you?", "Your Highness, did you manage to finally get rid of that dark beast and can Equestria really sleep in peace?", "Your Highness, how did the climate on the Moon suit you?", "Your Highness, being in peace and quiet must have been good for strengthening your mind! What meditative practices have you used to open your third eye and experience nirvana?", "Princess Luna, you must have had many funny or amusing experiences over the years! Tell at least one, please!”. The constant flashes were blinding, the crowd of presses was barely contained by the few guards, and the questions, that poured in from all sides, were getting worse and more ridiculous, until the last one finally finished off disoriented and uncertain Princess, causing her to turn around and run away. And now the younger alicorn had the vile feeling, that all those ponies had gathered there on purpose to make fun of her... Luna sobbed, feeling at the same moment her sister’s wing, stroking her mane sympathetically. When Tia offered to meet the people, the younger Princess expected a high stage, densely surrounded by guards and the need to get up on it and make a speech before the silent subjects, as had happened before and maybe graciously condescend to answer two or three respectful questions... Not this... This!... An insult at sister was enveloping in the soul, which didn't even think of warning her about something like that. Of course, she mentioned that there would be questions, live communication, not a monologue, that these questions could be different, but... Where was she anyway, why did she give the organization to the hooves of some "press secretary" or whatever her name is...? There were things to do, if you can believe it! But somehow she had time to come and see this shame... “What I was thinking about...” Tia sighed into space, continuing to stroke blue mane. “I promise, Lu, they’ll get some. I said her, that... Seems she risks to lose her job. And some publications may now have problems with accreditation and licenses for the next year!...” Celestia’s promises and threat only made more anger for some reason, they didn't calm it down... “I want to be alone.” Luna panted through the pillow deafly. Snowy alicorn's wing froze mid-motion. “Sorry, what?...” She asked to repeat confusedly. “I want to be alone.” Junior Princess repeated with strange for her annoyance. “I... Excuse me, my magic star.” Tia cuddled sister’s neck with a sigh. “It’s okay, I’ll go away. Call me, if...” Not knowing how to end, the Princess of the Sun left, smiling faintly and shutting the door behind quietly. After laying for a few minutes in silence, Luna turned on the side and curled up. Instead of relief after sister’s leave, it became only worse, but calling her back, after chasing sister away herself... “Useless idiot...” Alicorn swore at herself under her breath. There still was a comb in her throat, and tears started to well up in the eyes. “Gathered to laugh at her... Mockery is the only thing she's worthy of at all.” Princess, yeah... Strength barely enough to hold a spoon, confused about language and etiquette all the time - teachers roll their eyes longingly, when they think she can't see, smiling and cheering in her face... Gone mad magic doesn't even allow her to fly properly! Instructor, “the best of the best, worked with Wonderbolts!”, as Tia described him, looks at her like at a fly in a soup. Most of the servants in the castle treat her cautiously, prefer to limit conversations and do it from afar, whisper between each other. Sometimes giggle... Who is she, recall please? Princess of the Night, yeah? Night, that is under Celestia's control now? Princess of nothing. Useless Princess of nothing, which only utility is to be laughed at... *** Luna sobbed and tried to cuddle up even tighter. Is she really needed her sister as Celestia tries to show?... “Why did I chase her away?...” Sobbing again and dashing tears, Luna asked with a shaky voice as if she was trying to drive away gloomy, hostile silence around. The room answered with a spiky uncomfortable chill and a cold draught across the back from the opened window. Oppressing feeling of loneliness choked heart cruelly. Why, why had to ask her to leave? To take it out on her? Tia left, saying warm words before leaving, but it still was clearly painful and disheartening for her there, in the soul. Insulted sister... Just because, on a plain spot! Sister, who never once denied her anything this month, always supported her... It became unbearably disgusting in the Princess’ soul because of herself. ... Crying heart out and calming down a bit, Luna wandered around her chamber’s rooms restlessly. Bedroom - living room - dining room - living room - study - living room - bedroom... She thought to go out into the corridor and walk around the palace, but the memory of the night guards - who, seeing her condition, would begin to comfort her, find out who was to blame and assemble a vengeance squad for their Great Mother - discouraged her. Thestrals... They don't add inward peace in the Princess’ soul as well. It seemed only a few days ago, that the main part of her new guard had arrived and took an oath, but yesterday she overheard a conversation between a couple of night guards, that made it clear, that they were seriously counting on her, Luna, to seize power from Tia, and then judge her! Preferably with an execution in the end... One guard wondered why Celestia hasn't been overthrown yet - the army is already here and ready, why does the Great one hesitate? His companion told, that it is Nightmare, who used force, and Luna is going to have power preferably in a peaceful manner, but it will take more time. No one from the thestrals even disputed Tia’s position as an enemy one, and Luna certainly will have her revenge. Now another question boggles the Princess of the Night's mind: when thestrals will understand, that she's not going to go against her sister, what she would get instead of blind adoration, that splashes in their eyes if they look at the junior alicorn now? Luna, who had originally hoped to find friends among thestrals, now avoided them, fearing to get close to them. Yes, they have to be over-persuaded, make peace with sister, and no one except her would do that, but... Princess was just scared. Scared, that she herself will gradually accept the truth of thestrals and turn against Tia again... betray her again. With a heavy sigh, Luna sat back where she was standing. There was no thought of what to do about it all. Turn to her sister? The one she'd chased away, what an ungrateful fool... Cadence? Cadence was away on business, and she wouldn't be back until tomorrow... and there was no one else to go to. She lays in the middle of a castle, full of different ponies, for whom she was technically considered a Princess, with her guards outside the door, ready at her word to go into the fire... And yet, Luna had no one to talk to, no one to get words of support from. She just is not needed anyone here. As it seems from the sister's words, even Nightmare was needed someone, even she found friends... Princess sniffed and looked up, persuading herself, that she just examines the ceiling lamp.... She never had friends. Except for, maybe, Star Swirl... Star Swirl the Bearded was rude, straightforward, a little cocky, and arrogant... But besides Tia, he was the only person the Princess of the Night could go to, and not because she had to, but just to talk, discuss some theory, argue, make jokes... The mentor, however, could not joke at all. Only a few knew, that the nickname "The Bearded" came to Swirl from his teacher at a time, when he had no beard at all - for his downright talent for telling old, unfunny jokes, genuinely believing them to be new and interesting. Unicorn grew beard after many years to look appropriately... Luna chuckled through tears, but darkened again after a moment. Old mentor just disappeared one day, and no one had ever seen him again. Luna wore her hooves out until sole, trying to find her only friend, but he just vanished into the air... Even since Princess had acquaintances, there were those, who respected and even favored her, but only that. At least Celestia occasionally had someone with whom she could chat, share her problems, who she could hug as a goodbye and say: “I hope to see you soon, dear friend”. She even had her beloved Silver Wind, who would sneak the sunny Princess into a corner before a meeting so that later, surrounded by some ministers, she would glow with a slight blush and try her best to hide her swollen lips from a kiss... And she, Luna, was avoided then and is avoided now... The Princess of the Night cuddled up right onto the carpet where she sat and sobbed, covering with a wing. Wanted for someone to come in, to ask what happened... But there’s no living soul in the whole world who would do that. Because no one needed Luna. ... Luna put back the towel onto the hook and looked in the mirror gloomily. Unpleasantly cringed: cold water didn't help to fully get rid of the swollen lids and red eyes... Princess, sighing, came out of the bathroom and froze on the doorstep, not understanding what to do next. Convincing herself, that Tia needs her and Cadence does care for her was a scary thing for Luna: these thought could easily bring her on the verge of tears... But what does she have left except thoughts? Apathy came. Wanted to go somewhere under the bed, where it's dark and chilly, and just lay there, not thinking about anything. Princess shivered, when bells started to ring in the chambers in almost full silence: someone came and, allegedly, wanted to see her... “Not Tia, please.” Alicorn mumbled, coming to the entrance room. Perspective of looking in sister’s eyes, which she just chased away in anger, seemed unbearable for Luna. To her relief, only one of thestral-guard stood in the entrance room, which, as it seems, was on the watch near the doorway today. “Sorry for disturbing your rest, Great mother.” Stallion bowed a little bit awkwardly. “A messenger of... The Queen appeared.” He emphasized unfriendly. ”Said, that you must immediately answer whether you’re going to appear on the dinner or not.” Princess shivered from the memories and hastened to get rid of them, shaking head nervously. That Queen is no more, and sister loves her... “Did he really say that?” She narrowed her eyes with suspicion, overcoming her emotions. “Negative, he represented it softly. But the meaning was like that.” Thestral said without any hint of embarrassment. Rage came. “Say it like it was said to Us!” Alicorn pierced the sentinel with a harsh glance. “Don't you dare to mangle even a word that is for Our hearing from now forth! Immediately convey to your superior Our supreme will, that you be severely punished for this!” “M... My fault!” Thestral swallowed, standing at rigid attention. “Away!” Luna narrowed eyes. He rushed to the exit, but hesitantly froze halfway and turned again to Princess, shivering at her murderous gaze. “Away!” She repeated. “This... Excuse me, Great mother... What to say? To that messenger? About the dinner? “Could talk with Tia at dinner. I so miss her now...” “Say, that We now deign not to eat any food at all, for We have no need of it.” Following the sentinel with a gloomy gaze and locking the door, Luna, sighing heavily, slowly walked into the bedroom. Actually, she was hungry, and quite a lot, but... Come and sit at the table with Celestia as if nothing had happened... Tia had enough problems to spoil her mood and appetite by looking at her useless, unworthy sister, who for all her kindness and love could only repay her by demanding her to get away because she was in a lousy mood. “Why did I chase you away, sister? I am such an idiot... You came to support me, you've made so much for me, and I...” Luna, freezing next to a window, cringed painfully and closed the curtains with a sharp jerk and a crack of cloth, when the sky darkened rapidly, stars lit up, and the Moon went over the horizon, plunging the world into the embrace of night. The night, to which Princess, that should have control over it, had no connection with. Princess of nothing. Useless Princess of nothing... “Mom, we will overcome her together, yes?” “I hope so.” Luna, with an uncertain smile, patted the mane of a teenage black alicorn, standing next to her. She smiled, flashing back with turquoise eyes, just like her mother's, with an unusual vertical pupil... ... “Nightmare, no!!!” The glaive slid to the side at the last moment, leaving a long slash on Celestia's shoulder instead of piercing her ribcage. She fell back on her wounded leg with a piteous cry. Crimson blood looked somewhat unreal on the snowy fur... “Why?” Young mare gazed displeasedly, just almost killing the Queen. Nightmare, despite her age, fought more tactically and furiously, than Luna herself, which was divided with doubts and contrarieties. “She is my sister... You can’t...” Luna's words were interrupted by a pat of teleportation, noise of broken glass and Nightmare's furious scream: “Where are you going?!” Luna, slowing a bit, rushed after... ... “I beg you, stop! I am guilty before you, yes! Forgive me! Just stop, please...” Luna froze hesitantly: Celestia’s word touched something in heart... “Enough of this vile lies, Queen! You don't and never cared about Luna! You're not asking for mother’s forgiveness, you're just trying to save your life and your crown!” Nightmare, covering the blue alicorn from the white one, scowled unkindly, and the glaive in her grip glowed with a saturation of magic... ... “Forgive me, Luna! Forgive me! I!... I...” Luna was irresistibly pulled upward, towards the Moon, which had, so far, concealed the Sun's light. How? How did it come to this?... “It’s a defeat, but not the end, Queen! When I and mother come back, you’ll pay for everything! FOR EVERYTHING!!!” Nightmare screamed furiously, standing nearby and not being able to dodge the sister’s last attack. It became dark in eyes... ... “Come on! Let’s try it again!” Luna is exhausted. Not physically - just tired of this meaningless effort. “Get up!” Black teenage alicorn gave her an eager poke in the side. Fine. Let’s try it again... ... “Useless.” Luna, sighing, sat down on a gray stone. “We’ve tried everything we could think of...” “You shouldn't have stopped me.” Young mare grumbled gloomily, sitting down nearby. “There’s nothing to be done...” Luna stole a glance at her daughter with apprehension. She was right in something, but... ... “Count it again and redo it! It must work!” Luna met Nightmare’s predatory eyes. Evil narrowing of eyes, tightly clenched jaws, ears bent forward bellicosely... “Do you understand, that it’s meaningless?” She sighed in answer. “May be.” Younger alicorn cringed. Not a teenager, already caught up to a medium mature mare by the height... And she’s spent all the time here, in banishment, where nothing exists... “But I’m not going to just sit and wait for no one knows what!” “If you're bored, maybe, you can help me with the castle?” Luna smiled faintly. “What’s so interesting in these useless glasses?” Nightmare rolled eyes. “Fine, let's go. Or you’ll just continue to mope...” “Oh, come on.” Senior alicorn's smile became more courageous. “The glass painting is going to be beautiful!” Black mare shook her head wordlessly... ... “I’m not going to do this anymore.” Luna stood up heavily, extinguishing horn. “Trying to escape from here is just useless waste of time.” “Not as much as building something on this piece of magical stone. If you give up - the Queen wins.” “Let it be.” Blue alicorn uttered indifferently, moving away. “Stop to sulk!” Nightmare, outrunning her, bumped a hoof into Luna's breastplate. “Yes, we’ve lost a battle - but not the war! We’ll be back. I will tear the heart out her chest personally, and we’ll reign Equestria together under the cover of the endless night! Queen will regret, that...” “Shut up!” Luna flared. “Don't even dare to think about harming her! Here, in this well deserved banishment, I've understood a lot for myself. But you, as it seems, have nothing! Bloodthirsty monster! Get away from me!” “Mom, why... Why are you speaking in such a manner? We... We...” This is the only thing Nightmare could panted. “Mom to whom? Reflection in the mirror? You're just a summary of negative emotions, which got something like a psyche by some irony! This beautiful landscape around is your achievement, monster! I would have never fought my own sister if your words hadn't convinced me to!” Luna spit out with hate. “I don't want to know you!” Senior alicorn's horn glowed, filling everything around with white light, and when it's faded away, only dazed and stunned Nightmare stood on the white sand, and tears were pouring down her cheeks. “W... Why?... What have I done to you, mom?” She panted. Silence was her answer. “Mom?” Looking around, Nightmare stepped back. No one was there. “I... Forgive and... Mom, where are you? Don't... Don't leave me here! Please! Just don't leave!” Alicorn, choking with her own tears, fell onto the sand exhaustedly... *** Luna sat up abruptly on the bed, gasping for air and feeling the tears streaming down her face and her heart pounding somewhere in her temples. Princess was pounding. Dashing away the wet from her face and recovering breath, alicorn leaned back onto the pillows exhaustedly, trying to get thoughts in right order after a heavy dream and cringing from the coming waves of headache. She remembered well what she had seen there. Too well... It seemed like only yesterday she was on the Moon, sharing her body with Nightmare and they were looking for ways to escape together... But this immaterial creature, Nocturnal, twisted everything at a completely impossible angle this time. Nightmare is the daughter? Luna, sighing heavily, got out of her bed slowly. For a few days now, sleep was almost never restful... The nightmares, which had come only occasionally and remained vague images and a sense of brokenness in the morning, now become more frequent and clear in recent days, no matter how hard Princess tried to restrain them with her crumbs of magic and her remaining dream walking abilities. A third bad dream this week... And their plot became similar as well: the clung entity found a weak spot and methodically stoke it, reveling in pain and fear... As far as Luna could judge, Nocturnal was old, experienced and rather strong. And, as she thought now, a similar - if not the same - clung to Nightmare... To... Daughter?... Alicorn sniffed. What a gibberish... No matter how strong and experienced this Nocturnal is, that stands behind this nonsense, was, but it's a clear miss... ... Ending with a constitutional walk, having breakfast and sending out the servants, the Princess of the Night was standing near a window, looking into the distance gloomily: damned dream just can't get out of the head, always trying to capture her mind. Daughter or not, but wasn’t Nightmare the closest creature during many decades? And she in her fear and misunderstanding for all this time didn't even try to get to know her... What was she? What drove her? Alicorn used to think of her as... For granted, her own shadow. And who's interested in aims and fears of their own shadow, even if it's sentient and has a personality?... Luna turned away from her immediately, thinking, that she's too dangerous - and until the last moment, when the spell started to turn off her mind, didn't even think of what can be her departure to her shadow... “If I had understood it right away!... If I had even thought about it!... Egoist...” Luna, drooping, sighed heavily, swallowing another comb in the throat for who knows what time recently. Egoist. Traitor. Princess bid lip, holding tears. It turns out, that she created Nightmare herself?... Gave birth to her into the world. No, it wasn't a filly's birth, of course... But... No matter what it was - she had created Nightmare, and then left her for death, as if she forgot her attempts to help, to support... In her harsh and not always pleasure manner, but still... She, Luna, wasn't a stranger for her - it's other way around: Nightmare saw kindred soul in her, like... Mother. ...Elder sister. “How to fix that mistake?...” Princess whispered with lips only and turned around, stopping her gaze at the working table. A few sheets of crumpled up paper were laying on the tabletop, a few broken quills, half-empty ink-pot... Write a letter and ask for forgiveness - the only thing Luna could think of, but a short letter, writing of which took almost half a day, hasn't been answered. Twilight's letter was laying a bit apart. Not getting any reaction at her message, Princess worked out the courage to write sister's student and find out about this reaction. Twilight in answer, losing her nerve and asking for excuse through a word, wrote disappointing things: Nightmare, being tortured the last two days by endless bad dreams, treated Luna's message either as an insult or as a mockery. Yes, the Princess of the Night ended her letter in a traditional way - with wishing good dreams, but... Her reaction was logical, if Nightmares thinks, that it's Luna, who sends bad dreams to her: no one said, that she lost her abilities... “She won't answer...” Sighing heavily and dashing tears, Luna sat before a table and, taking a quill, hung it above a blank sheet. Nightmare won't answer - but it’s not a reason to not try again. In the end, what else can she do now?... Alicorn, sighing again, wrote the first words on a pure piece of paper... ... Another sheet became a clod with rustling and swishing, and was tossed at the table in fury. Luna, getting up with a jerk, went to the window. Lost cause! It was... A seventh-ish attempt, hard won, carefully picked piece by piece from the rough work, and after rereading - tossed aside mercilessly, like the previous six. Bland, indifferent, illiterate, stupid! Not it! Luna, rubbing forehead with a sigh, looked back at the table. No, enough. What’s the point - there was no more strength, no more ideas... The feelings of the past hours had burned away a little too, leaving behind a tired, wistful indifference and a bitter understanding, that Nightmare will never give her forgiveness for what she had done... A sudden ring of bells in the pressing silence forced Luna to shiver. Someone came and wanted Princess’ audience. Opening the door reluctantly, she, ignoring the etiquette because of the fatigue, looked outward and cringed displeasedly for a moment: thestrals in their own repertory... Tall snowy unicorn, in which one can faultlessly seen Prince Blueblood, looked askew at the guard with apprehension, and she, masking her grin by a welcoming smile, was demonstrating her sharp fangs to the utmost. “Don't dare to scare Our guests anymore, Sharp!” Luna put the thestral in her place with a cold tone. She immediately closed her jaws with a knock, feigning the most indifferent look. “Greetings, Your Grace. Unfortunately, We have to ask for forgiveness about Our subordinates’ behavior... What has brought you to Us?” Alicorn addressed to Blueblood, looking at the guard as if looks could kill for the last. “Your Highness!” Unicorn caught a fore limb of Princess with a untraceable manipulation and kissed a hoof. “I’m so glad to see you again! Are you ready? Honestly, I’m very thankful: you've allowed me to become your guide during this event! I thank you for this vouchsafe, Your Highness! These three days were, I dare to say, the most endless three days in my life! O, stars, this waiting was unbearable!...” What he?.. Discord!!! Luna barely held smile on her face, almost panicking inside. Blueblood! Museum! She heard that there were interesting exhibits in the palace, got interested... Even, in the end, she gave in to almost desperate entreaties of the Prince and allowed him to accompany her... And she forgot all about it! “I beg to differ! Is this the time we agreed on?” Alicorn tried to find a way out of the situation frantically. Wait... What time it is? Discord!!! “Excuse me if I dared to disturb you, Your Highness.” Unicorn bowed. “I think it was beyond my strength to cope with the desire to meet you earlier!” He emphasized a smile. “Unfortunately, you’ll have to wait some time.” Luna panted with a forced smile. Hungry, with hair askew, red eyes... Closing door in a hurry, Princess called for the servants. Promise, even thought absolutely ill-timed now, is to be done anyways... ... “...And this is my favorite artifact! Look, Your Highness! Speaking sphere! These artifacts are created in pairs to allow their owners to speak at distance in real time! I’m sure you're surprised! This is a completely new development, the first pair was created only fifty-seven years ago and allowed to keep a stable connection for one and a half kilometers, and modern models work for almost ten! Alas, Whats Up, the magical doctor and beautiful in every way unicorn, who created this artifact, left this life as recently as five years ago... I must admit that I still admire his work. Such a potential!” Luna sighed gloomily. Blueblood, who was basically singing, was frankly getting on her nerves, and Princess wanted to be alone in silence now. But she cannot get rid of the unicorn, to whom promised to go with few days before: didn't have heart. Moreover, the Prince sincerely tried to cheer her up and brighten her day at least partially with his excursion for the "best Princess in the world"... But the imposition and, it seems, even a certain patronizing on the stallion's part was still annoying. Overall, sister's collection impress. Tia collected many artifacts and mechanisms in the castle museum: ancient relics and the latest developments, simple and complex, useful and not so, and sometimes - curious and amusing, like a lamp in the form of Tia herself, which, when turned on, raises a tiny magical sun-light. Luna smiled for a second and gazed at the exposition. The Princess of the Night's eyes caught some detail for a moment... “... Just ten ponypowers, but it was the first! You, as I assume, saw these. But look how Equestria stepped forward now! This monster has more than eight hundred ponypowers! The temperature artifacts heat the entire volume of water to boiling in just ten minutes, and the engine begins to produce power! And this... E-e... Your Highness? Your Highness!” Unicorn, noting, that he's walking alone, looked around perplexedly. ... As she approached the darkened, inconspicuous alcove, Luna froze, not quite believing her eyes. Here, far from the prying eyes of the visitors, a blade gleamed faintly in the light from the hall. Activating an illuminating crystal on the same place, Princess shivered reflexively, when its light put the ancient weapon off the half-darkness completely A very known weapon... Alicorn, hesitating, came closer, examining the glaive throughly, towering at the weapon rack. This splinter on the enchanted wood of the shaft was left by the battle with Sombra... And this pattern closer to the blade she had made herself - the knife had slipped, ruining the straight line. Had been sulking all day after that: worsened such a weapon with her curved horn indeed!... Luna, chuckling, lifted her gaze and recoiled back. For a moment, Princess thought there was blood on the blade... Only when she had calmed her first impression and looked closely, she realized, that it was just blackened metal... blackened, where the alicorn's blood had touched it. Celestia's blood. Sister’s blood. Luna barely swallowed the comb in her throat. How low can a pony fall? At first Princess considered the dark wizard, who had cursed an entire village of pegasi for a leering glance, to be the lowest degree of moral decay, dooming them to a terrible and slow death - and whom she had managed to save with incredible effort and ability by changing and redirecting the effect of the curse so, that as a result, those ponies turned into first thestrals, but were not killed. Then he was overshadowed by the mad archmage Sombra, whose desire to prevent the Crystal Empire from turning into a puppet of Equestria and preserve its freedom ended up in enslaving his own people and trying to drive them to war with the hated southern neighbor... And now Luna suddenly realized, that the worst pony, that had and have ever been now can be seen in the polished metal of the blade. Even Sombra hadn't betrayed his nearest and dearest, but she, Luna, betrayed and almost killed her sister because of jealousy. And then, because of fear and disgust, betrayed and left to death... Daughter. ...Nightmare Moon. And all she does now is insulting Tia for nothing, who has forgiven her, and complaining about life!... Can something be more... Disgust and useless?... “Your Highness, excuse me, I've lost you!...” Luna shivered, when the voice of the abandoned companion sounded behind her. “O, “Moon sickle”! This is your weapon, isn't?” Coming closer, Blueblood looked at the glaive with unrevealed delight. Princess shuddered. “No matter what some smarty pants say - it is not a replica, is it?” Prince asked with hope in the voice. Luna shook her head reluctantly. “Ha, I knew!” Turning back, he smiled with pleasure and, with some awe, looked back at the glaive thoughtfully. “You know... Looking at this weapon, I clearly realize, how hard your greatest victory upon this disgustful monster was, if even her poisoned blood left such traces on the metal!..." Disgustful monster... Monster, that was left to die by her own... Mother? Monster, who has never been told what happiness is... She's not a monster. She's not the monster! “This is Celestia’s blood.” Prince was interrupted by Luna. “Excuse me?...” Stumbling half-word, he looked at the alicorn perplexedly. “This is Celestia’s blood.” Princess repeated with a flat tone. “And I spilled it.” Shocked unicorn turned his gaze at the weapon slowly, then back, trying to say something, but not finding even a word. “I have betrayed and tried to kill my own sister. And then betrayed and left the Mare in the Moon to die, when she was my loyalest assistant, trusting me endlessly and thinking of me as the only friend. The only disgustful monster in this story is me.” Alicorn's empty and dead voice echoed through the wide hall and silenced. Luna took one last look at the glaive, resting on the counter, wiped away the tears, streaming down her cheeks with a jerky movement, and walked silently towards the exit droopingly, leaving Blueblood, frozen as a pillar of salt alone with his shattered ideal and the oppressive silence of the hall. ... Princess Luna came to her chambers already calm. She almost flew into the chambers in a decisive pace to, after passing through the living room, come to the table, full of crumpled letters, to almost disgustfully sweep away everything needless and to raise a quill above a blank sheet. Now Luna knew what to do.
32. A PackageAuthor's Note "Note: the main hero is really screwed up and therefore swears a lot more than usual." Original author's note. 32. A Package Pencil strokes laid onto the sheet with quiet rash. I draw - and I don't know what. Just drew, as during a boring class on the notebook's margins. There was absolutely no sense in that. Except for, maybe, training telekinesis... This has no sense as well. Nothing in this world had sense, nothing! From the start to this day! Everything, that I have done, led to nowhere. From the get-go. Settling down, familiarizing, looking for a job, friends - it was useless! It was useless for, if I can say so, “friends”, which always, every moment, had been seeing some scary ugly in me, only pretending, that I’m not, and it was for the world as well, which is not tired of showing its inhospitality towards me. I wasn't happy about this world either - surprise, huh? A childish cartoon, yeah? A piece of simulating shit, fucking bitch... Just take Luna alone... Crunch! Fucking shit! I threw the broken pencil at the wall furiously, which it slammed into, splattering splinters and slivers of lead. The last week has been a shit week already, but the past few days have broken all records. Well, how was I to know, that ponies are only good at talking about friendship?! Stupid horses, burn you all in hell... Just when you think someone is normal, you realize, that he’s an asshole after a week... Luna, for her fucking sake, at least does not pretend, that... Oh, no, she does, but not to me, but to the others, dammit... Even started sending letters: look, sister, how I try to reconcile! And that bad Nightmare just doesn't want and won't! Yes, fucking cunt, I don't want to! I'll carve that mockery on your tombstone as an epitaph, bastard! I couldn't get this paper out of my head, filled with subtle mockery, in which Luna told me, in a condescendingly arrogant way, that it was bad to be hostile and that it was bad in general... Filthy bastard... I wish I had never read it... "Submit, kiss my feet, become my toy - then there would be no hostility and the nightmares would stop" - is that what it means?! I was able to deal with the nightmares, though... Oh, Scoot... The only normal pony... I probably shouldn't have told you about the nightmares then, but I just couldn't find the strength to be silent. Then, after the memorable "day of betrayal," when I was walking away from Ponyville to the familiar lake shore, I suddenly bumped into the little pegasus, walking towards me. She could have just passed by, not even glancing at me, but she suddenly said: “Good day, Nightmare. You look worse than I feel"... She returned the phrase to me, the little brat... Yeah... For some reason, it made me say hello back, and then the little one somehow managed to hook tongues with me and... The only thing, that kept me from blurting it out was the fleeting thought, that I'd already turned my soul inside out like that once... in front of Rarity, let the fucking traitor have no bottom in hell when she finally rid the world of her presence... It was even more surprising, that Scootaloo, with a determined shift in her eyebrows, volunteered to "help me today, don't worry!" with a certain "reliable thing". And she did: when I was already struggling with sleep, wistfully awaiting the inevitable, the little one knocked on the library door, with her "reliable thing”. I don't know how she knew, that a double dose of sedatives with a glass of strong - by local standards - alcohol knock off feet anyone, and where she got the prescription-only drugs, but it worked. Taking triple dose just in case - we’re talking about an alicorn - which took the rest of the almost empty pack, I, to my amazement, slept more or less well. The little one just saved me... And in the afternoon she came by again, handing me a brand-new unopened packet of drugs and hurrying to hide from questioning. Not that I wanted to ask her about it... As long as it worked, I didn't care what it was or where it came from: it might have given me a headache, but at least I wasn't afraid to go to bed because some nightmares were so creepy that the mere memory made me shiver. I was especially impressed by Luna's idea that she could send her faithful thestrals to me so that certain Nightmare Moon would "go missing" in their endless mountain catacombs, becoming a laboratory specimen there to study the reproductive system of the alicorns... I twitched and swallowed a lump in my throat, remembering the image from that dream of a thestral with a medical saw, trying on my wing and commenting phlegmatically that... I shook my head and bit my cheek furiously. The pain helped distract me a little. A dream, huh? This is not a damn dream! This is a damn offer to go and die! Because if you don't - you’ll envy the dead, and Luna will surely take care of that... I squeezed my eyes shut and rubbed my face with my hooves to recuperate a little, and looked down at the drawing still in front of me. A dozen eyeballs stared back at me, dangling from the top edge of the sheet at the nerve endings. “What the fuck are you staring at?” I asked them grimly and turned the sheet, looking at it with an angle. The eyes were still staring at me. With a chuckle, I turned the sheet over. Pampering. One of phobias - manias? Fantasies? - of Nightmare. That the stars in the endless sky of the Moon are the eyes of the Abyss, watching her... I wondered why I feel so uncomfortable outside in the evening... Hell with it, let them watch. There’s nothing to look at. Except for the all-out betrayal of one trustful cretin... It already seemed, that there were those here who understood me... Well, "seemed.” Even Tia, who was trying so hard to gain her trust, showed herself. I hoped, that after Twilight's letter she would help - yeah, keep saying that, helping Nightmare Moon... First "Write to me, I'll try to help," and then, when this help was really needed - silence. And it was Twilight, who asked for it! But it had been before, and now it was strange, that she hadn't thrown me out on the street: her look was too eloquent, and that promised many lectures and sanctions, and this gaze was awarded by the unicorn, packing a medical bag, to me, when I returned to “Golden Oak” after my meeting with Scootaloo. He didn't stand my gaze for a second, though, resulting in her keeping complaints quiet... For the time being. But the feeling, that they barely stand me here, was growing every hour - and I don't give a heck, honestly. This world doesn't want to see me? So be it. Will choke over! Had to put me into the waste until I wasn't against that as well. Well... I don't want to live here, honestly. But if they chase me away so forcefully - I’ll try to retire with light behind my back, if a chance appears. Damn it... Cannot trust anyone... Only Scootaloo didn't betray... How?... “Nightmare?” Twilight's voice sounded in the half-dark suddenly. “What else?!” “There... Someone came, asked to call you...” “Who?” “They said they brought a package. Personally to hooves.” Wanted to say good words to Twi with her visitors. Unfortunately, basement's door has no lock... A-a, heck with it... Let’s see who is there. Maybe I’ll find a reason to scream at them... Getting up reluctantly, I moved towards the stairs. There wasn't even a trace of the unicorn: she didn't have a desire to meet with me more than needed. And that's right, go away, hoofed skank... Opening the entering door, I found two unknown pegasus in the same uniform, also unknown for me. The first one, hoary and with a dark mane, shivered upon meeting my gaze and hastened to lower eyes, as gray as she herself. A Monochrome one. Her companion, pale-pale purple owner of a bicolor sky blue-just blue mane, chose to have something instead of saddle bags, that looked.. Like sadomasochistic transport harness, to which a thick long parcel was attached. “G-good day...” Not lifting her gaze, the “monochromatic” one greeted. “Postal service of the Canterlot castle. There’s a letter and a package for you. We’ve been ordered to wait your answer and pass it on.” With these words, the gray one approached her partner and, unhooking the long thing from her harness, handed it to me, and after I picked it up with my telekinesis, deftly extracted the envelope from her bag with her teeth. “My answer...” I mumbled thoughtfully, catching the envelope. Telekinesis’ trainings paid off: holding two items, while not looking at them, wasn't a challenge for me... “We won't go inside, we will just wait here!” The black-white one exclaimed for some reason nervously, feigning a crooked smile and causing her colleague to sigh heavily. Ah, what a shame!... I grunted indefinitely, and as I closed the door and went back down to the basement, I finally got a chance to indulge my curiosity. A tug, ripping off a shapeless sheath of some cloth - and the metallic gleam of a blade in the dim light of magical lamps. I stared in a stupor at the predatory curve of the blade. A very familiar curve. There were even blood spots on the blade: subtle, slightly darker marks, as if etched into the metal with acid. With a sharp jerk, I got rid of the rest of the package and stared thoughtfully at the Luna's glaive, floating in front of me. The thin engraving pattern on the silver blade, the incomprehensibly glowing crescents on both sides of the blade, the underlay in the form of a curved spike... It’s a challenge. Extremely unambiguous. And it's well-timed: don't have to wait and wriggle to find a loophole to her neck... The only strange thing is that Luna gives up her weapon and not the first cheap piece of iron that comes along. Very strange. What's on her mind...? I picked up a plain white envelope, made of thick paper. No inscriptions, no seals, nothing. What have we got there? From the opened envelope, as expected, fell out a letter on a folded sheet of paper. I ran my eyes quickly over the text and crumpled it slowly, with feeling, trying to understand what was going on. The letter contained lengthy reflections on the subject: "It cannot go on this way, I can't take it anymore," a plea for forgiveness, a few words about giving me the glaive, and a request, that if I can't forgive her, I should tell her where and when to meet to settle things once and for all. And a signature: “Luna”. Abyss, what she is up to? Maybe she cursed the glaive before she gave it to me, to make my skin peel off? I eyed the weapon cautiously. However, a curse hardly kills quickly, and Luna, for some reason, let me choose the time and place... In fact, the glaive and the choice of a meeting place are not the strangest things here... Why does she make these hypocritical apologies here? Why does she need them if she's just going to get rid of me out in the open? Trying to buy time? But then she wouldn't let me make an appointment. Or would she only come if she liked the time? What's the logic?... Wait. "What's the logic"... Playing to the audience, of course! Wrote this letter with the some Cadence under her side, for example, so that later, showing my corpse to Tia, she could say: "Cadence is a witness: I suffered so much, I tried to make peace, but evil Nightmare didn't want to! I had no other choice, I'm so sorry, so sorry!” Trying to get away with it in every situation, huh, creep? The place and time she left to my choice is because she understands, that if she appoints them herself - I wouldn't go there at all, to avoid it. Also, she’s sure of her strength if she's not afraid to challenge me to a fight. Why she gave me the glaive, though, is still unclear... To show some semblance of nobility? "Semblance", yes... That's what Luna is all about. She pretended to be a good Princess at first, and when she hadn’t succeeded, she started to pretend being her sister, so that Tia would let her in closer. Tia had let her closer... After that, Luna successfully led me astray, making it look like she needed and cared about certain Nightmare, and now she is pretending, that she has reformed and nice and sweet and peace, joy and happiness. And they believe her again, as if nothing had happened... Not that the other ponies were far behind her, though. Vision of understanding, vision of friendship... But if you go deeper - it finds out, that the only real thing they had and have is fear. They all fear and hate me... Except for Scootaloo, I think... But in the end, who am I to her? A casual acquaintance, practically... It would be a pity if my death upset her. However, does it matter? You, Luna, for some reason, didn't hide behind your sister and decided to take me out personally, didn't you? After destroying real Nightmare Moon, after torturing me with bad dreams and depriving me of everyone, who could be my friends by messing with their heads? You couldn't think of a better gift! "Tonight, after the rising of the Moon. The Castle of the Two Sisters. NM.” The road to the castle was well remembered by the Nightmare's memory. Will get there. Die in a battle - a good finale. And if I can drag Luna away with me, it'll be bright as well. Just right. Today was definitely the best day I'd had all fucking week. ... Yeah, well, it's a good thing, that I thought of securing the sharp parts before swinging that thing, otherwise I would have been without wings, horns, and at least two legs. Telekinesis on weapons turned out to be a double-edged sword. On the one hand, as compared to my hands, my mobility was incredibly increased: I could strike from the most impossible directions and in any position of my body. On the other hand, control was severely depressed: the weapon not only did not feel like an extension of my hand, it was hardly felt at all... Without looking, it was extremely difficult to understand its position and to feel its size and location relative to myself - hence several sensitive blows, the worst of which - on the tip of the horn - felt almost as bad as a groin blow in the old days. Luna, fuck me with your horn! I had never been in so much pain before... A terrible pulling pain, brings sparks into my eyes, rolling all over my body in waves and reverberating in my skull forced me to give up my training for a good dozen of minutes and just lie on the grass and swear like a schoolboy. I was also able to get a good kick out of a well-twisted stick over my head... After that, I wiped away the tears and realized that telekinesis was not as cool for holding weapons as it had seemed before... By the way, the shaft, which before this training had caused some confusion by its very presence, also turned out to be more than in demand: the experiment showed that, first, the telekinetic grip, covering the blade with its field, makes it practically safe and one can just take the blade without any hilt, but one cannot use it in the fight, and, second, the size of the gripped area matters - and the long shaft allows to vary this size widely. The full-length field allowed a much better sense of the weapon and its position in space, but slowed it down considerably, as if it increased air resistance, and dampened the inertia needed for powerful blows. The narrow ring grip allowed you to spin the glaive at propeller speed, but the glaive's position, while using it, is very vague. In addition, as it turned out, the weapon can be dropped from such a narrow grip... As a result, the impression is, that by changing the area of coverage in a flash and shifting it higher or lower along the shaft, you can achieve exceptional control of the weapon: strike sharply and quickly, instantly extinguish inertia and strike again, block powerful blows or naturally knock down arrows flying at you... The problem is that this is clearly a pro weapon, that requires serious training, not some "peasant axe"... Damned Luna "graciously gave" the weapon, that requires months for training! It's good to have some time to get used to it, especially since my body seems to remember something... I stopped, paused to catch my breath, and stared thoughtfully at the swath of woods as I finished moving and put my weapon down. It's a path to nowhere, isn't it...? "If you're going to take revenge, dig two graves," and all that... Except... Why would I want to live, anyway? For what and for whom? It was scary and hurtful to die the first time, when I lost everything and everyone along with my life... But here? And here, in this stupid world, so outwardly similar to a children's fairy tale, I have nothing but an unkind name. Is it scary to lose? Yeah... I chuckled sadly. Avenge Nightmare and myself - or die trying, that's all. If I fail - heck with it. Don't I know that death is not the end? But if I succeed, I'll make this hypocritical world a little better. And you... You'd say my chances aren't great, wouldn't you, “Princess”? I barely know how to use a weapon, and I know a few spells that are good for fighting... Of course, that's not enough to win with confidence. Less than all you have, Luna - influence, money, men, and behind me there's nothing but emptiness, vengeance, and hatred. But that hatred is enough for three of your kind, bitch. It's time for you to pay your dues.
33. A Moonless Night“Hello, auntie!” “Good evening, Cadence.” Celestia nodded in answer, entering the dining room and, sweeping a gaze over the room, raised a brow in surprise. “Luna hasn't come yet?” “No.” The pink alicorn stated the obvious, which had come over the earliest and already took her place. Tia, with a shake of her head, settled herself habitually at the head of the table. It was a little bit surprising and, honestly - sad: sister loves to gather at the dinner after changing day to night and, usually, the last one to join others was the Princess of the Sun herself, still changing the day and night alone. It was hoped that in the meantime, Luna would regain her spirits and attend the communal dinner tonight, but... “How is she? I...” Alicorn silenced, shaking head helplessly. “Today, she didn't get any attention or care from me... Reports and letters had been continuing to flow in even with evening coming... “Fillydelphia?” Cadence dropped carefully. Tia nodded. “Newspapers wrote, that there was a fire on a chemical factory, but nothing concrete... Is everything very bad?” “I've not seen such catastrophes for a while.” Snowy alicorn drooped. “Several hundred cubic meters of fugitive gas... One factory building was destroyed in the explosion and burned to the ground, neighboring buildings were damaged... And my poor ponies... Eleven dead and almost five dozen injured...” “Oh...” The young Princess could only gasp, putting a hoof onto her mouth. A silence fell for some time around the table. “Cadence, tell me, have I done it right when I went there? Went and let my sister down, not being around when she was in need...” Alicorn looked at Princess perplexedly, but didn't say even a word, only shrugging with wings uncertainly. “This is a ruler’s fate... To make a choice and then live with its consequences, sometimes wondering: wasn't it right to do in another way?...” Tia dropped thoughtfully after a few seconds of unpleasant silence. “You still haven't told me how Luna is doing, Cadence.” “I myself just got back into the castle, and we met only for a second... She... Well... She didn't say anything concrete, tried to stand firm, but... To be honest, I thought she seemed very depressed about something, auntie. Something happened?” “It’s my fault.” Sighing, the snowy alicorn shut eyes. “I decided to help... To propel her into ponies, to give a possibility to talk a little, get acquainted with the changed society, to not be a loner in the castle... Luna agreed, and I started to organize a press-conference for her, but the explosion at the factory... I had to fly in immediately, reassigning everything to the press secretary...” “And did how she and you are used to.” Cadence stated. “Unfortunately... Just had to cancel everything and held it later!.. Minimal regulations and lots of communication were not what my sister needed, what she was ready for now... I came back just in time to the beginning, decided to look at it, maybe ask her some nice questions from the crowd, giving her a little surprise with my return... You know how defiant modern journalists are sometimes, but I did not expect her to be jumped on so badly.” Tia shook her head with sadness and added after a few seconds: “She kicked me out of her room when I came to support her...” “Oh...” “I let her down, it just happened... I hoped to apologize one more time today...” Tia sighed bitterly. “I think she's not going to join the dinner with us...” Cadence said after a few dozens of seconds of silence, glancing at a watch. “And... It's bad for her there, alone. Why don't we go together?” “I guess so... Let’s go.” Celestia rose from the table in a slight hurry, and the alicorns vanished in a golden teleport flash soon after. No one touched the food. ... A pair of thestrals, longing at the post near the big guest chambers, where Princess Luna still lives, met the Princesses’ appearance with cautious and inhospitable gazes. “Greetings, warriors of Night.” Tia smiled at them shortly. “Could you say me Luna's whereabouts?” “Not here.” Thestral, standing to the left of the door, said with disgust, not even honoring the Princess of the Sun with a formal greeting. Cadence looked harshly at the bold mare with indignation: she doesn't like etiquette either, but this, even without basic politeness?! But it seems, that Celestia took no offense. “Did my sister tell you where she was heading? Or maybe she asked to say me something?” Still smiling politely, Tia asked. “No. For both questions.” The guard finally said with the “knock it off already” look. Her companion, in his turn, didn't even think that he should react at the Princesses’ presence. “I’ll come in.” The Princess of the Sun's smile extinguished. Cadence, standing near, shivered reflexively: auntie voice’s tone seemed the same, but there was a feeling, that hallway’s temperature dropped a few degrees. It was clear, that thestrals got a chill as well: they didn't even think of getting in the senior Princess’ way, but did absolutely the other way - hastened to the sides. “Auntie, how can you allow them to treat you in such a way? It’s!.. I’m speechless...” Cadence shook head, when alicorns entered the entering room, the door shut behind them softly. “Children of Night... Have reasons to hate me.” Tia sighed, looking around. “I’m sure they’ll get over it sooner or later, but for the time being... Let’s not talk about. At least for now.” “Okay.” Cadence prolonged, following Celestia, which moved towards the bedroom’s doors confidently. “Luna, are you here? Sorry for disrupting your solitude, but I’m worried about you. Is everything good?” Elevating the tone, Celestia said into the space. Silence. Waiting a few seconds, snowy alicorn raised a leg and knocked. Cadence shivered at the literally liquid tension in the air. Attempts to calm down with by a thought, that Luna just chose to be alone didn't help: a feeling of an unclear disaster was pressing on. “Luna?..” Hesitating, Tia opened the door perplexedly. There was no one in the bedroom. ... No one was at the balcony, in the dining room, in the receiving office. Thestrals didn't lie: emptiness and voicelessness reigned in the Princess of the Night's chambers. “I thought, that my sister was resting here.” Sad Celestia dropped at last. “Let’s look if she left at least a message about her sudden destination...” The older Princess was right: rather quickly she found a note, left on the dressing table in the bedroom, which Tia hurriedly read out loud: “The further - the clearer my realization of the inability to undo what I have done, and, at the same time, I have no strength nor right to accept it. My action over Nightmare is a vile betrayal, and there is no excuse for it. Must stand before her - and let what is destined to happen. “Do not look for me - will come back, if there's a desire of my...” There’s an inkblot... Further: “...Do not chase her away, if she hasn't and take a high price. There wouldn't be her fault - only mine. “Sorry...” A blot again...” Celestia let the sheet go and thoughtlessly followed its fall with her eyes. “She decided to meet with Nightmare? But they will... She will...” Cadence lost herself. “They cannot make peace now!” “Not “make peace”, Cadence.” The auntie's smile made the pink alicorn feel uncomfortable: so creepy did it seem. “Luna knows, that Nightmare will show no quarter. She went to pay for her mistake...” “But Nightmare... She has changed! And now... And they...” Overwhelmed Cadence tried to insist with loss - even with a moan. Celestia stared at her feet gloomily and, after being silence for a few endless seconds, moved towards the exit determinedly without answering even with a word. ... “Where is she!? Where is my sister?!” When auntie speaks with her "cold” tone, Cadence feels unpleasantness. Now, as the Princess of the Sun's voice boiled with anger and despair, she hung over the frightened thestral, and the younger alicorn couldn't help but feel as if she was standing next to a forge. This... This gives chills to the bone. Seeing Celestia, usually calm and kind, in such a condition... “She didn't say!.. We don't know!..” Guard cheeped in answer, pressing herself into the wall, as if trying to get smaller. Cadence couldn't help but gloat: half an hour ago she'd been muttering through the teeth, but now her legs were buckling with fear... “Y-your Highness! His Excellency Prince Blueblood attended her today! He may know!” The second guard tried to save his companion with a shivering voice and shrank his head into his shoulders, when the Princess’ gaze nailed him to the floor. “Thank you.” She nodded dryly. “Cadence, come over here.” As the pink alicorn approached, both Princesses immediately vanished in a golden flash, leaving the terrified night ponies to recover. ... “Greetings, Blueblood. You...” Bursting into her nephew's office, Celestia froze in surprise. “A-a?.. It y-yo... Co-oome. Howdy..." “Are you drunk?” The Princess of the Sun couldn't hold an exclamation, stunned by what she saw. “A-a? Y-yeah, drunk, yes... What am I supposd to be, m-m? Lisn... There’s still something! Gonna?” The unicorn, with its snow-white coat and tangled mane stained with something from before, focused his cloudy gaze on the opened, but not empty yet bottle of wine and pulled his trembling hoof towards it. A golden aura got the bottle and brought it onto the floor behind Celestia. “So!...” The senior alicorn narrowed her eyes angrily. “Blueblood, something happened?” The younger one asked with pity at the same time, interrupting her. “Hap-p-e-ened?” He followed the flown away bottle with a sad gaze. “O-o, yes, hap-e-ened! It’s all y-your fault!!!” Unicorn almost fell when sprang to his feet sharply and, almost screaming, pointed towards Celestia’s way with a hoof in a blamable manner. “Mine?! What?...” “Yo-ou... You have bee-en ly-ying! Me-e... Lied to m-me! You... You l-lied to everyone! Said, th Luna is a... Is a hero! But she-e... And I respected ya! And her as well!” Unicorn's voice gradually died away, and he himself returned to his place by plunking awkwardly. “V... Very! Undrstand? It dsn't mean I don't respect ya now, nah... But I respect ya lesser, yeah... Nah... Yes, here. It's bad, ba-ad... You're... You're...” Smashed Prince silenced, either trying to remember a word or just losing the thread of his own reasoning. Cadence furtively glanced at her auntie, who had frowned at the Prince's words, and then turned her gaze back to Blueblood and sighed. It was hard to blame him for his current state... The Prince was almost a fan of the ancient hero, Princess Luna: beautiful, mysterious, and who saved Equestria by sacrificing herself... The absence in its place of the painting "Luna's deed", to which Celestia had been snorting skeptically - and which the unicorn himself had been adoring, made it abundantly clear what had happened. “Princess Luna told you?” Cadence tried to lead the Prince, experiencing the collapse of his ideal, to the right idea. “Y-yeah...” He, taking an advantage of auntie's gloom thoughtfulness, took another opened bottle and greedily took a sip right from the bottleneck. “Wanted, yeah... Achli... Achivm... Achi-ev-em-en-ts - here - of Equestria delight her... Take to a museum! And I... I di-id...” Blueblood waved away with sorrow and hit the bottle again. “Glaive...” Sharply straighten up Celestia whispered with her lips and almost ran to the exit. “Thanks for the help, Blueblood.” Hesitatingly, as if trying to apologize, Cadence smiled and ran after Celestia. “Y-yep... Hey you, pre... Prnant nags! More vine!” She heard behind her back. ... “Auntie!... Just wait!... What!... Happened?..” Celestia was hurtling through the empty evening corridors, aiding herself with her wings and entering corners almost skidding. Much smaller Cadence could hardly manage not to lose sight of her. Only when she finally froze in front of the double-wing door, nostrils flaring noisily, the pink mare managed to catch up with her. “Museum.” Semi-interrogatively - semi-affirmatively said the junior Princess, turning her head to the senior one, but not achieving any reaction from her even now. Celestia, standing with closed eyes for a few seconds, pulled the door. It’s closed: the time is late, and the keeper of the castle museum left, and obviously had closed the hall until the next morning. “She is not her!...” As if with carefully concealed despair, Tia whispered to herself, and after lighting the horn again, she opened the doors with a sharp and furious jerk, wincing momentarily as the deformed lock fell out of the right leaf with a crunch and screech and rumbled to the marble floor. The younger alicorn, sighing softly, followed her. She has never seen her auntie so agitated in all her life, it seemed... Meanwhile, Celestia had lit a firefly on her horn, shining like a small Sun. She didn't even seem to think about lighting the lights indoors... “Luna? Luna, are you here?” The Princess of the Sun's voice, shivering from the nervousness, echoed through the hall. “Auntie..." Cadence tried to address her, but she didn't even seem to notice, striding resolutely to the right wall and along it to an inconspicuous alcove at the far end of the hall. The pink mare shivered. She didn't love and never understood violence, thus not leaning towards weapons at all, a few of which can be seen amongst artifacts in this hall, but one exact almost frightens her. The one, pushed away from prying eyes into a distant alcove. There was some talk of the glaive resting there... Experts in archeology and blacksmithing said it was a late replica, some thought it was an accidental weapon that had nothing to do with Luna and Nightmare Moon... But to her named niece, who decided to follow the Mare in the Moon's advice and ask more about those events, Celestia reluctantly told her that the glaive was the real weapon of Princess Luna. And later, in a fit of melancholy, she also initiated into whose blood had permanently etched the frightening smudges on the blade. Cadence tried not to think about it too much, but the thought of it gave her the creeps. And Luna and Nightmare... they're not like that!.. Meanwhile, Celestia, almost running up to the alcove, stopped dead in her tracks before slowly settling on the floor, staring at one point. It was empty. “What happened, auntie?” The Princess of love stroked her mentor with her wing in pity upon arriving. “The glaive... Luna took her...” She panted with a dead voice. “I hoped... Hoped, that we'd get early, that she'd just... Silly, right?” Alicorn sighed in a blood-curdling manner and covertly dashed a tear with a wing. “Took the glaive...” Cadence mumbled and, recoiling back, stared at the senior Princess with terror. “Is Luna going to kill Nightmare?! But they are... But it's...” The pink pony bit her lip desperately. “No. She’ll give it to Nightmare... Or already did and...” Celestia sobbed, hiding face behind a crease of an elbow with shame. “For what?.. Cadence, for what?! What have I done wrong, that I don't deserve a mere calm life with my little sister?... I had been dreaming about her return so much... It’s not been even a month... Why?!.” Tia, sobbing, froze, causing her companion to shamefully stare at the floor. What can one say here and now?.. “Get a grip!..” Suddenly, the older Princess hissed angrily after a few seconds and, wiping her tears away with a sharp movement, straightened up, directing a heavy stare at Cadence. “When was the last time you saw Luna?” “I don't remember exactly...” Young alicorn hesitated. “I think around lunchtime. She was on her way to her room... And she didn't seem to be in the best of spirits. We exchanged a few words and she hurried away, citing business matters." The younger Princess frowned, trying to remember the events of the day. “Around lunchtime...” Tia repeated gloomily. “It means... I’m going to Ponyville right now. Nightmare's there and... I’ll hope there’s still some time. I don't know... This is the only thing I can count on...” The snowy mare stared at the floor gloomily. “And you, raise the guards and organize a search here: it's doubtful, but maybe Luna hasn't left Canterlot yet... If you realize she's not here, send some guards to me.” I don't know what they can help me with, but... they might be useful.” “Understood.” Cadence nodded seriously. “Involve the Night Guard?” “Involve everyone. Everyone you can! Buzz the Luna's guards about the time of her leave and report - do anything! Help me... Find...” Celestia swallowed the lump in her throat with force and, not ending the phrase, hastened towards exit. ... “Your Highness?!” Dazed Twilight bowed in a hurry. “Rise, my dear student.” Tia smiled forcefully. “I'm afraid I was forced to come here at this late hour for not a good reason. Where’s Nightmare Moon?” “I... I don't know...” The unicorn looked down confusedly, rising and stepping aside. “Come in, please, Princess Celestia!” Tia stepped from the chill of the night into the warmth of the library and almost immediately felt exhaustion come over her. A hard day, exhausting with a lot of problems to be solved all at once; wings aching from the long and difficult flight during an unusually cold summer night, which, as they approached Ponyville, was complemented by low clouds, brought by the wind from somewhere in the Everfree’s way, and a drizzle. Teleporting that far in light of a possible... of possible complications was unwise. It would have been wise to teleport with Cadence into the museum to save time, but... At the right moment, Princess didn't even remember that. Tia sighed softly. It would have been wise to use the chariot as well, which would have taken her to Ponyville without such a waste of energy, but waiting for it to be ready to fly proved unbearable... Unable to feel the time wasting, Princess hastened to fly personally. Luna, why did you do that?.. Nightmare, you really can't spare her life, can you?.. Alicorn, sighing again, chased her thoughts away with a force of will. It’s not the time. “And I haven't seen Nightmare since lunch." Twilight continued. “She left as soon as she got the package, and she hasn't returned since.” “Package?” Celestia contacted her brows. “The one you've sent with your postal service...” “But nothing...” Princess hesitated, but caught herself in the same moment: “Luna!.. Twilight, tell me, what was in the package?” Mare stared at the student's face with nervousness, as if trying to read answer on it. “I... I don't know, Your Highness...” She recoiled back, laying her ears back. “We haven't talked much these days and... Well... Here and... I just saw that there was a long something, if it matters...” Tia clenched her teeth and rolled her jaw. Why, Luna? Why?! For what?! “Did she leave right after that?” Alicorn managed to get a grip. “Yes, but I only heard the door's slam, and I don't know where she was heading to...” Celestia shut her eyes helplessly, feeling her heart starts to lose its pace, tears come to eyes. Too late. Where could Luna have rushed off to at lunchtime, when she met Cadence, and where could Nightmare have gone at the same time with the weapons she had received in the mail?.. They had met when she, Tia, had been going through the papers on her desk... It’s too late. No. No! Maybe Luna took off later, during evening? Cadence met with her at lunchtime, but that doesn't mean her sister left the castle at the same time! She, probably, passed the letter with the glaive and suggested a meeting outside of Ponyville to Nightmare... But in the middle of the night it's not realistic to quickly find those who saw something... The letter! Place and, most importantly, time of the meeting! “Twilight, where Nightmare has been living? I have to look at her things.” The last phrase forced to cringe from her own doings in mind: be nosy, search without a permission... Backstabbing. But what's the other way? There's no choice left... “Yes-yes, of course, let's go.” Unicorn smiled nervously and moved towards the descent into the basement, causing Tia to raise brows in surprise for a moment. The basement, which, contrary to expectations, was quite spacious and even somewhat cozy, looked almost uninhabited to the Princess's momentary bewilderment: it looked not like a place to live, but more like a place where people come to forget themselves for a short nap before another bleak day. All that suggested it was inhabited was the mess on the table, strewn with sheets of paper, and the bed on a camping mat on the floor. The Princess's gaze flicked out a torn envelope on the bed that almost merged with the blanket. It was the letter! Celestia hurriedly approached the table, noting, that the usual ink pot was not on it, but it was to be expected: there were only a pair of sharp pencils, apparently untouched. Amidst the creative clutter on the edges of the table, a blank sheet of paper, laying in the middle, stood out. Is it?... Celestia picked it up, turned it over, and flinched, when a whole bunch of eyeballs stared back at her. Despite the monochrome, these eyes and nerve endings, where they seemed to hang from the edge of the sheet, looked extremely realistic, frankly frightening in their appearance. In addition, the feeling that they were looking right at her never left... Tia tilted the sheet with a morbid curiosity, that she didn't understand, and felt a chill, when the feeling didn't go away: all those eyes seemed to keep looking right at her... The creepy drawing went to the stool next to her. Put downward - but for some reason this did not help to completely get rid of the feeling of someone, looking into the back. How and why can one draw this?.. Sighing quietly, Princess casted a gaze at the stool, cringed and decided to swiftly switch to the searchings, quickly going through the thrown paper at the table to find text on it and reflexively sorting out the blank and covered with drawing ones. Blank sheet... Blank sheet... Some abstractive figures... Here!.. No, it’s just a book's text rewritten... Blank sheet... Where is it? Where?! Heart was pounding frantically in the temples, throat was dry. Tia felt time drain away, like water through a sieve, with all her being. Blank sheet... Something... What is this?.. No time! Text!... Discord, another citation! Blank sheet... Blank sheet... Letters and drawings before her eyes started to fade, blurring into one gray bulk. “Your Highness... Something happened?” Twilight came closer hesitatingly, shivering from the Celestia’s semi-sigh semi-moan. Princess didn't answer, continuing to run through the papers in the same mechanical way. Unicorn noted mentor's eyes shining from tears with surprise and fright. “Your Highness, can I help you?” She walked around the table and stood in front of the alicorn, trying to get her attention again. She dropped another sheet back onto the table and casted a gaze at her, which made Twilight feel really uncomfortable. She had known Celestia almost since her childhood, and in all that time she had seen different things in the Princess's eyes: joy, pride, sometimes fatigue, and sometimes worry or sadness. But never before had Twilight seen such confusion and hopeless despair as now. The mentor immediately rushed through the papers, as if hoping to find something among them, that would surely help, and now, not finding it at once, she simply shifted them senselessly, trying not to burst into tears. “Y-your Highness.” Magician said, overcoming the fear and pity on her soul. “Princess Celestia, what are you looking for? “Maybe I...” She hesitated, unable to offer help. What can a simple unicorn do against such a thing, that brought a powerful immortal alicorn into a state of despair?... Tia sighed, closing eyes. “The letter...” Sighing again, Princess looked at the student, when Twilight already began to think, that answer wouldn't come. “The Nightmare Moon's letter. From Luna.” “The one that came a few days ago?” Lavender mare specified quietly. “Nightmare burnt it. With clear pleasure...” “No, the one that came today, with a package. Envelope... It should be somewhere here!” “I think...” Twilight again walked around the table and came up to the Nightmare's bed with a swift pace, checking her fast-paced guess. Eyes did not let down: between the folds of the blanket, next to the torn envelope, was a lump of crumpled paper. “Here! Your Highness, is it?” Unicorn carefully lifted the expanded sheet in a happy manner. “Oh, Twilight!..” Tia furtively brushed away the tears with the tip of her wing, feeling her legs shake all at once. “A big thank you!” “Don't mention it... It’s alright...” Magician confused, passing the sheet on to the mentor, covered in a fine hoofwritten writing. She hurriedly picked it up and read it eagerly... only to fall to the floor with a despairing groan and let it fall to the floor with the extinguished horn. “Princess Celestia! Are you alright?” Frightened Twilight jumped to the alicorn to see her mentor soundlessly weeping with closed eyes. “There's... No... Nothing...” She panted with a cracked voice, that gave the unicorn a creepy feeling: this is how dead and lifeless it sounded. Shivering, Twilight lifted the sheet and quietly, under her breath, read it aloud. “The realization of what I have done kills me more than any poison. I did not know what I was doing, but I destroyed your life. Even realizing the worthlessness of my speeches in comparison to the evil I've done, I can't help but beg for your forgiveness, no matter how empty your eyes may be of such nonsense. Forgive me, Nightmare Moon. Please give me your answer, whatever it may be. The weapon, that came to you with my message, may it be a gift to you as a sign of my desire to be reconciled to you. And if my words of repentance are not enough for you, name the place and time where and when I must answer in deed to you for my wrongdoings. I have no more strength to endure the guilt in my heart, and I will accept any decision of yours, whatever it may be. Luna.” “What does it mean?...” Unicorn asked into the space with loss, swallowing the lump in her throat. The letter was unclear, but it reeks of something... Of something ominous. Why Luna apologized to Nightmare? Why gave her a weapon? How she was going to... Magician twitched, when a realization struck her mind like a lightning. Is it?.. “Nightmare will give no quarter to my sister...” Celestia panted as if agreeing with the thought. “But... It’s... We must do something! I... It must be stopped! Tell me what to do, Your Highness!” Twilight frantically babbled, looking at her desperate mentor frighteningly. “I have the Elements of Harmony right here! We'll stop Nightmare and save your sister! Except... where to find her?..” The unicorn finished in confusion, realizing exactly what her mentor had hoped to find in the letter - and what had killed the last vestiges of hope in her. “Tell me, Twilight, why?! What did I do wrong?!” The distressed alicorn whispered in a fractured voice. “I didn't... Please, Princess Celestia, I... We'll... We'll think of something! Everything will be right, really!” She blurted out, retreating toward the stairs. The magician felt, that if she delayed any longer, she would burst into tears herself. Seeing her firm, always optimistic mentor in a such state was beyond her power. But she could help... at least try to help her - and she was going to do everything a mere pony could do. Already on her way upstairs, the unicorn heard a muffled sobbing behind her. ... The oppressive silence in the library was broken only by the howling of the wind and the sound of drops on the glass, so frequent, that it merged into a coherent hum. The storm, brought by the wind from somewhere on the side of the willful Everfree Forest against all schedules, was in full force. Twilight was willing to bet, that she had a lot of ill-wishers in Ponyville tonight, trying to track down those, who could tell where Nightmare has gone. But alas, it didn't give the needed results... The Mare in the Moon was obviously seen around the library, another places and, finally, heading towards outside Ponyville. That’s all. Naturally, no one followed her any further, and the ominous mare could have gone anywhere: from the Everfree forest to the train station... And it would have been good if someone had given the exact direction! Some said she was heading towards the lake, others said she was heading towards the farms, and still others saw her walking towards the Everfree - all these ponies were confused from their sleep, lost, answered in the wrong way, unable to remember exactly whether it had been yesterday or not... Dash thought, that only the gloomy Castle of the Two Sisters could have been the place, and she was bursting to go, ignoring the fact that she was already badly punished by the medics for flying with Gilda and the fact, that the already long and dangerous trek in this weather would be even more arduous and dangerous: First, the crossing of the river, and it's obvious, that it has risen because of the downpour, and then through the ravine to the castle, over the frail bridge under the same downpour and gusts of gusty wind... And that's not counting predators, not all of whom would be afraid of the weather... So Applejack, in turn, was inclined to believe, that Nightmare was rather gone to see Luna somewhere where they would not think of looking for her: the castle is a too obvious place. Fluttershy had nothing concrete to offer, merely expressing a timid hope for a happy resolution of the situation... Twilight herself tried to logically calculate where the Mare in the Moon might have gone, but she quickly realized, that she did not know her well enough to make more or less accurate conclusions, and without it, the options seemed about equally likely... The magician caught herself, that the further she went, the more inclined to the adventurous and ill-conceived, but more active idea of Dash. It was so unbearable to sit and do nothing... Rarity and Pinkie, on the other hand, were frighteningly passive, when they found out what was going on. And if the white unicorn answered her questions quietly or brushed them off, Pinkie Pie said, that it was all her fault, and her words drove Nightmare to all this... They almost had to break up Rainbow and Pinkie Pie, which Twilight honestly did not understand: why Pinkie suddenly began to defend this cruel and heartless pony? She herself recounted with undisguised horror how she had mistaken her and what she had done to Gilda. The state of the griffon, when they caught up with her to render aid, drove the Princess's student almost to horror. And at first she didn't believe the rumors, that Nightmare was going to kill her! Fortunately, the Ponyville hospital, though not fully capable of treating non-ponies, did not refuse to accept the victim... Anyway, none of them could think of what to do next. And time was inexorably running out... The viscous silence was suddenly shaken by a demanding knock, causing everyone to shiver. After hesitating a little, the librarian, wearily exhaling, moved towards the door. Behind the door, to her surprise, was... “Cadence?!” Twilight stared disbelievingly at the nanny, who smiled faintly at her from beneath her wet hooded cloak. “Cadence!” The unicorn threw herself on her neck after letting her in, but then, with an embarrassed groan, she hurriedly retreated as the guardsmen followed nanny into the library. “Greetings, Twilight.” Alicorn smiled wearily, taking off the wet coat, but turned serious immediately. “Where’s Princess Celestia? I’m happy to see you, but...” “I understand.” Magician sighed. “Her Highness is here. Let’s go.” She moved towards the basement. “There’s no need in ceremonies, please!..” The young Princess, embarrassed for a moment, murmured to the other ponies bowed in front of her and hurried after her apprentice. ... “Auntie, are you alright?” Cadence immediately ran to the older Princess after descending. Celestia looked... Frighteningly. It creates a feeling, that she has faded from the inside out. “Cadence.” She casted an extinguished gaze at the pink alicorn. “Tell me: did I do the right in keeping Nightmare alive? Or it was a mistake?” “We should try to save any life.” She mumbled evasively. “Any? I swore to defend every pony, Cadence. And I couldn't defend even my own sister! On the contrary, I put her in danger, and I didn't protect her..." Tia closed her eyes helplessly. “You did what your good heart told you to do...” “And what's the result?” Celestia’s piercing glaze forced the young alicorn to step back for a few steps. “It's ironic... Nightmare herself pointed at my unreasonable trustfulness more than once...” Cadence wanted to insist - but what you can do against facts?.. “Princess Celestia...” She broke the long silence after a dozen of seconds. “One of the thestrals gave me your sister’s letter... It says where Luna has gone to.” “She's alive?!” The snowy mare, on her feet at once, was hovering over her niece. “I don't know...” She drooped. “It's old... Your sister left it to her night ponies with instructions to give it to you or me at a certain time... And these!.. These!..” Cadence waved with her wings indignantly, trying to find words. “These shameless scoundrels searched the whole palace and circled half the city, pretending to search, knowing for sure. that Princess Luna is not there!!!! Here, look at it!” The younger alicorn held out the scroll to the older one, who took it eagerly and stared at it intently. “Ti, if you're reading this letter, I may no longer be amongst the living. Forgive me. But it's unbearable to feel disgust towards myself. Even crazy Sombra did not fall to the point of hurting his loved ones, but I, because of my pride and envy, betrayed you and fought you until the last drop of your blood, as if you were not the closest thing to me in the whole world. Not knowing how, I created Nightmare Moon from my magic - and she had been supporting me, like a ~~unreadable~~. And I also betrayed her, condemning her to perish in emptiness and silence, as if she were no one to me. Now, having forgotten your forgiveness in my egoism, I dare to complain about fate and send you away, being useless and ~~unreadable~~, unable to bear my wretchedness, I could only do one thing right in my life: find my forgiveness before you and ~~unreadable~~ Nightmare Moon.” The letter seemed to break off at this point, continuing on at a small interval, already in a noticeably more nervous handwriting. "I don't know what I was hoping for. It was obvious there was no possibility of forgiving such a monster like me. Nightmare told, that she would wait for me at the Castle of the Two Sisters after the Moon rise, so that I could answer to her for my treachery. I leave shortly. Do as you must, let it happen as it must. If I do not survive this night, so be it. You will not harm Nightmare Moon in the slightest because of her decision, which is my final wish. Farewell, sister. Forgive me. Luna.” When Celestia looked up at the end of the letter, Cadence felt like she was standing on the edge of a volcano. “It is not going to happen.” The Princess's voice was bone-chilling. The sheet of paper, instantly bursting into flames, crumbled to the floor in weightless ashes. After a few moments of hesitation, the snowy mare took off, flying swiftly up the steps. Cadence and Twilight hesitantly glanced at each other and rushed after. The night greeted them with a chill, wind, rain, and darkness: no stars or Moon were visible over the clouds, that covered the sky. Cadence instantly felt, that she's beginning to freeze, noting out of the corner of her eye Twilight, her friends and guards’ shivers from the icy drops of rain, they ran together in the street with Princesses. Celestia, as if she hadn't noticed the weather, turned towards the Everfree without a second thought, galloping away at a pace, that even the younger alicorn could barely keep up with, let alone anyone else. “Auntie!... Maybe!..” Cadence tried to call out the older Princess through noise of rain and clatter of the hooves on the road, but was forced to be silent to not lose her breath. Celestia didn't even pay attention to the calling. Houses whizzed by, lanterns and trees flashed by... On the outskirts of Ponyville, the Princess of the Sun stopped unexpectedly, peering intently into the black forest through the gradually weakening rain and letting the others catch up with her. Away, puffing and panting, the guards stopped running, and they were looked at by the blue pegasus with a multicolored mane with superiority, as if she had not noticed the run, Twilight, gasping to catch her breath, pressed her hoof to her ribs, and the orange pony with a hat was speaking to her about something... Cadence turned away with a sigh, and then, after a moment, walked towards the statue-like alicorn. The cold drops stung the hot runner's body - thankfully, the downpour had almost abated to a light rain, and it was possible to shield from it with wings. But gusts of prickly wind were almost freezing to the bone... “Au... Your Highness, what are you going to do?” “I’m going...” She answered after a little bit, still staring at the forest. “I’m going to enter... The forest... Luna?!” Cadence, turning her head sharply, peered through the darkness at the same place, at which the older Princess was now, stretching her neck and gaping at the darkness. Couldn't see even a thing... Being tired of trying to look from here, the pink mare started to follow Celestia, who was already moving towards whatever she somehow saw in the night. “Luna, are you alright?” Tia raised her voice, making the already bright firefly on her horn quite dazzling, causing the surrounding darkness to flare to the sides in fright before the Princess of the Sun. From a shorter distance, Cadence could finally see the indistinct silhouette and the bluish glow of the approaching pony's magic, barely visible in the light of the few stars, that peeked out from behind the clouds. Alicorn smiled in relief: that seemed to be the color of the Luna's magic!... Celestia's footsteps, meanwhile, were slowing for some reason... Cadence paused beside her, feeling the tension of frozen Princess grow in her body as the silhouette slowly approached. What is it?.. A stomping became silent behind: only now did the young alicorn realize, that the guards and Twilight were also following them... “Luna?..” Tia called hesitatingly and somehow shyly. And, sobbing, backed up on shaky legs, when a figure loomed vaguely in the darkness and looked up at her with dimly glowing turquoise eyes with vertical pupils. Nightmare Moon stepped into the circle of light with an unsteady pace. Gusts of wind fluttered the twisted purple mane and tail of the black mare, almost melding into the landscape in the darkness. Mare in the Moon's horn glowed dimly, holding the glaive beside her, its blade gleaming ominously with crimson stains. “It’s over...” She said with a slurred tongue and, suddenly rolling her eyes, she dropped her weapon, stumbled on the spot, and sat on the ground emotionless as a puppet. “No, Luna!.. No!!!” Tears poured from the Celestia's fixed eyes, hiding from the witnesses in the raindrops, looking at the mare's feet, which just collapsed before her. And tongues of flame ran timidly through the multicolored cloud of her mane.
34. Blood On The BladeI can't. I clenched the teeth in my jaws until pain. Come on! The glaive, held over squinting and silently weeping Luna, did not move. I can't! Damn it! Weapon was hesitatingly lowered in my grip... And was up for yet another blow. Hell no! This bastard show me what hell is clearly! Abandoned me where death is a coveted luxury and an unattainable dream! A blade, slashing her neck, is a lot less than what she really deserved! But I’m not her to torture others for centuries, so only one blow... Abandoned me? She abandoned Nightmare... Me, Nightmare... Does it fucking matter?! And Nightmare is worth avenging for her! Did she deserve all that?! NO!!! Thus, this bastard will pay for everything now! The glaive rushed down... No! I can't!.. ...And froze again, not reaching the obediently planted neck for a few centimeters. Luna, sobbing, shivered, feeling the move, and shut her eyes even tighter. My gaze was fixed on the tip of the blade, hovering over the blue fur. My heart was pounding in my temples, I was shaking. A lump of rage and... incomprehension was crawling in my chest. What the hell?! She must die! Why?.. Why can't I just take that damned traitor and destroy her?! I can! I can everything!!! With a short, furious growl, I raised the glaive again, determined to do what I have to. And froze again, staring intensely at the silently weeping alicorn before me. Lonely. Defenseless. Not even trying to stop me. Fucking hell, what this shit is all about?!.. “A-arg-h!!!” I hit her shortly and sharply on a leg with the shaft, causing her to sob and wobble painfully, she reflexively tucked her leg in. “Damn it!!! Stop to whine, pathetic! Come on! Resist! Why don't you do something to save yourself?!” The tail, as if it had a life of its own, was slapping me violently at my sides as I paced nervously in front of Luna, staring at her. What is she doing?! What is she up to?! What?! “You lured me out of Ponyville to finally rip my head off and spit on my body or what?! What are you?...” Not being able to find words, I stepped aside and brought down the glaive onto a near old commode, giving the screaming emotions inside me an exit. Splatters of rotten wood splattered, some rusty metal piece rattled and flew off... The commode crashed in half with a pathetic creak and crunch and, raising a cloud of dust, rested in pieces on the dirty floor. “Come over here, bastard!!!” I grabbed the blue one by the scruff of the neck like a kitten and yanked her towards me. Luna, not awaiting that, stumbled and, screaming painfully, spread eagled on the floor. I raised the glaive again and, freezing for a second, let it down with a furious moan again. I can't!!! Why?! “What did you do with me, scumbag?!” A lump in my throat prevented me from speaking, and I could physically feel the blood coursing through my veins with every heartbeat, giving me a wave of heat and a rumble in my ears. “Speak!!! Answer, you!.. Ar-rghh!!! Why can”t I kill you?! Damn it!!! Why?!” I swallowed heavily, trying to get rid of the burning in my throat. Fu-u-uck! What’s going on?! Why?! She knew about this for sure! And now! “B-because... You’re... better than me...” I could barely hear Luna's voice breaking into a whisper. “What?! How do you control me, scumbag?! HOW?!” I grabbed the alicorn by the neck as she struggled to rise and pulled her in front of me, staring frantically into her weeping eyes. “I... Do-o... Not...” She panted. Hesitating, I eased the grip. Will squash it later... “J... Just...” Luna sighed with a strain, hiding gaze. “You're better than me... Kinder... Y-you care about... About others’ feelings. What... What will become of them, if you... D... Do... It. For me then... I didn't care... I... I became pathetic... I let the fear of... Of you defeat me. And you... You're just stronger than your hatred...” “Enough!!!” I tossed the alicorn into a wall with a roar. “Stop playing games with me, Luna!!! Why can”t I kill you?! Kill mercilessly and go away, stepping over a dead body?! Why?! Why?!” I hissed through clenched teeth and closed my eyes, trying to pull the chaotically running thoughts together. I can't kill her! Take it and... Smash the obediently placed neck!... No. If only there was a battle going on... But this is beyond my power... Or... I stared hard at the tear-drenched pony with her right wing hanging limply, trying to get to her feet. Pathetic! This fucking scumbag knew it was going to happen! Came alone, without armor, without weapon - even without stupid regalia! And let me do the job! And if I don't do it now, she will remember everything afterwards!!! How could she know, that I won't be being able to do that? Since the fact, that Nightmare is her “art”, cretin! And how much of this body's mind is stuffed with bookmarks one can only guess! Maybe I don't even own my self! Gibberish!!! I'm the one who decides what I do here!!! And I’ll prove it!!! With a roll of my jaw, I stepped decisively towards already cautiously straightening Luna and brought the glaive up again. Alicorn turned her head to the sound, and in her eyes, filled with tears, I saw my own reflection. “If out of anger... out of anger of Our sister you fear to cut off Our life, then..." Luna sobbed, “To Celestia... We left a message, that if... In which..." Alicorn's voice trembled. She squeezed her eyes tightly and dashed tears away nervously. “In which our will is stated: not... not to do you harm and... to accept your choice in any way and..." The pony sighed frantically, simultaneously lowering her head and again putting her neck to the blow. “S-sorry!..” Somehow, this was the last straw. Screaming, I brought the blade down... Luna called out pitifully before collapsing onto the floor again. With a resentful clang, the bloody blade slammed against the stone floor, spitting out a sheaf of sparks. I jerked back, staring helplessly ahead of me. That’s all. That’s the end. I can't. I... I turned the blow aside. Blood slowly trickled from the incised wound on the left shoulder of the alicorn, clutched almost at my feet, staining the floor. The lump in my throat prevents my breathing, heart beats in the temples resonantly, driving blood through the still alive body for no reason. Idiot, pathetic, nonentity! Couldn't handle even this! Now she's!.. Tia doesn't know, that she’s dangerous! No one knows! Now she will kill me, and then!.. Is it she who's dangerous? Came to me and just put her neck obligately without a fight?.. She knew! From where?.. And does it matter anyway?.. When I took my eyes off the blood, which seemed black in the reigning half-light, I turned around and walked slowly, shuffling my feet one by one, to the window. It is the end, isn't?.. Nothing left... No strength, no will, no sense in continuing it... The sky is so beautiful here... It tingled in my eyes. And it's very bright, after the twilight... I was more used to seeing the orange sky of the metropolis above my head at night, with the light of the Moon and the two or three brightest stars barely breaking through... But here... The heavy rain clouds crawled further towards Ponyville, revealing a real splendor over the ruins of the castle. And the Moon here is so huge... And even the feeling that this bottomless sky is looking back at me almost did not spoil the impression. “N-nightmare...” The quiet voice trembled like a taut string. Somehow it's a little sad to see all this for the last time... Since Luna is alive, there's only one road for me now... She won't spare me... I hope. Sorry, Nightmare. I’m a shitty avenger... And Scootaloo... Damn it, I never told her about Balk... And now it's probably no longer the case... You too, little one, I'm sorry... “ I... I realize that... there are no words to undo what I've done, but..." The footsteps clattered slowly behind me arrhythmically. “I m-must... Do at least something in my life... Do something right... P-please... I want to fix...” “Fix it!!!” Turning around sharply, I tossed the glaive to Luna's legs. She froze mid-step, staring dumbfounded at the clanking weapon, that has fallen in front of her. “Well?! What are you waiting for, you stupid blue idiot?! Come on! Take it and finish it already!” I yelled at Princess, that was pretending dumbness. “Fix... Everything!...” I lost voice, the lump in the throat prevents from speaking, eyes were burning for some reasons, causing the environment to blur. “Nightmare...” Luna, going over the glaive, came closer. “I didn't want... You... I really...” Alicorn, drooping, exhaled slowly. “Sorry. That... Maybe I... Maybe I can do something for you to?...” She lifted her gaze hesitatingly, but looked away upon meeting mine. A clinking voidness reigns in the head, emotions tear apart. Hatred was screaming, fury was boiling, tears of rage and offence were choking, and the heart was squashed by a piercing feeling of loneliness. I hate and scorn myself - for being weak and worthless - and Luna at the same time. Helplessly wanted to live... And to die, ending this nonsense, at the same time. I did not understand where Nightmare, and where me... I did not know what to do next... I did not know what to do... I did not know... I... ... Tinkle. Ks-s. Tinkle. Ks-s. Tinkle. Ks-s-s. Throat is in pain, damn it... Tinkle. Ks-s. Tinkle. Ks-s-s. The bent, rusty candelabra, floating in a cloud of my magic, bumped rhythmically against the stone wall, which I stared dumbly into, and slid sideways, scraping against the stones. Tinkle. Ks-s. Where did it even come from? Nah, it doesn't matter anyway... “N-nightmare...” Here this bastard is. What else do you want from me?! Don't looking, I tossed the iron thing behind, at sound. Tinkle! Miss. Damn it. “Nightmare, how are you?” Turning around wordlessly and stopping my long gaze at Luna, I turned to the wall again. Pathetic... Couldn't even kill her. Couldn't even with emotions, and now it's a lost cause!.. And instead of getting a grip and... Don't know... Finding a damn solution - just went into hysteria! Shame, nothing more... I could do nothing. Nothing. “Can I?..” “Get lost!” I turned around with a jerk. Luna's quiet voice, which was coming closer cautiously, got me angry in a moment. “Do you hear me?! Go away now!!! Leave me a... Alone!” My voice treacherously trembled, and tears began to form in my eyes again, which only made me angrier... but I didn't have the strength to be angry anymore. I didn't have the strength for anything... Why?! Why me?! Why it put exactly me here?!.. Why Luna left me?! Why chases and wants to destroy me?.. Why isn't everyone I could have counted on around here anymore?!... Why I can't do anything?! I just want to go home... You wish - there's no home left. There’s nothing left... “Who would I be if I leave you again?” Princess whispered, coming closer instead. I hastened to look away. There's nowhere lower to fall, but letting her also see my tears... “In the recent day I felt, that my whole life is one big mistake.” Sighing, Luna started to speak quietly. “Worthless Princess, awful sister...V... Vile t-traitor...” Sighing brokenly, she went silenced. Yeah, very good for you. And? I panted a wry smirk through tears. “And... And now...” The blue one worked up the courage. “I decided, that I have to do something right in my life... At least earn your and Tia’s forgiveness for all the evil I have done...” “Want a forgiveness - go back six hundred years! You won't earn it here!” Finally dashing the liquid from my face, I found the strength to chuckle unfriendly. “But you... You still spared my life, Nightmare. It means... Maybe it’s not a lost cause for me.” “But it is for me!” I answered against my own will for some reason. “I got tail down and didn't strike! What now? More of your nightmares every night, until I, to your delight, jump under the train? Or wait for you thestrals, which will cut my throat open at night?” However... Does it even matter? I... I don't know. Why should I keep trying to find a place in the Sun in a world where the Sun is as sham as the local "friendship"? “W...What?!..” Luna twitched behind me, slipping and groaning from pain. “I’m not!.. Oh... But...” She silenced for a moment to freeze nearby with a noisy exhale, almost touching me. Hey... Have been in that body for so long - and didn't know, that ears turn to the sound. “I didn't... I didn't do and didn't want that, Nightmare!” The blue one broke the hung silence. “The thestrals wouldn't dare hurt any of the Great Mother's hypostasis, and I've lost my talent for dream-walking... I didn't think it was even possible, but..." Luna sighed again. “I suppose the Elements of Harmony deemed me unworthy of this gift and... And, as my sister thinks, passed it on... passed it on to you.” Now she's going to tell me that all these horrors I've been dreaming about are also part of the "gift”. And she, of course, had nothing to do with it, yes... “No, I... I haven't lost my skills." She admitted. “But... What I could do with a flick of my tail before, I can barely do now... I've... I've had nightmares lately, too, and I couldn't even protect myself completely from them...” Good for you. Again. “I saw myself leaving you alone on the Moon... Time after time... And... I couldn't stop it, no matter how hard I tried..." Luna sighed, and stopped talking sharply. Are you playing with me... Or... Or not?.. However, it doesn't matter. I’m tired of everything. "I-I... I-I really... I... I'm infinitely sorry, Nightmare... Maybe I...?... Oh, if only I could do something about it!..” Luna stopped short, not being able to hold a sob. “Too late.” I stated gloomily, turning around and getting the alicorn out of the way, coming towards the exit from the destroyed room. There’s not even a bit of the desire to stay here more. There is, blue one, an expression, that ponies will not understand for lack of the right words in the language: "You can't put the stuffing back through the meat grinder.” “Live, you bastard, since I'm too weak and cowardly to kill a defenseless one. If you really have a shred of conscience left, I hope it will avenge you for me!” Stopping at the doorway, I dropped for the last, not turning around. And if there’s none left - you’ll get rid of me, of Tia... Doesn't matter. Not for the first time, but Tia... After the hysteria, the bubbling rage wore off, leaving a bitter sadness, resentment, and a kind of indifferent stupefaction. I didn't want revenge. I didn't want to fight. I didn't want anything. I just wanted to say fuck all and be alone... In darkness and chillness... “N-nightmare, wait!..” Shit. “What?!” I don't know why, but I turned around for some reason. The glaive was floating near Luna. So this is how it is, yeah?.. “You... Here, take it.” She twirled her weapon elegantly, pointing it at the floor, and suddenly handed the glaive to me. “And... I’m thankful for this second chance. I didn't earn it.” Luna imitated an awkward bow, moaning from the pain for a moment. Giving the blue one a long stare, I took the weapon and, turning around, started to go further. Idiot! How could you forget it!.. But still... I don't understand. “Why didn't you attack?” I couldn't stand it, so I turned back to Luna, staring me after with a wistful gaze of her tear-stained eyes. “For what?” She asked simply in answer. To get rid of the threat! “To fix” “the mistakes” of the past! And then!.. What "then”? If she wanted to get rid of me that badly, she would have hit me. Or she'd just call her sister to watch, and she'd turn me into a pile of ashes the moment I put the blade over Luna. Yeah, Tia, as a matter of fact, can still do this thing... For threatening a Princess and stuff... Shit... However... I don't give a fuck, honestly. I'll just tell Scootaloo, that it's okay with Bulk - I promised after all. Let at least this kiddo have a normal life in this stupid Equestria... “The only normal pony”, heh... I’ll gift her my helmet, as a tribute. And then I can even vaporize - there’s nothing to do left. And Luna... “For what, you ask? Do you even need a reason to stab in the back?” I chuckled gloomily, noting with mischievous pleasure the blue one's twitching as if she was slapped in the face. I turned and headed down the corridor, glaring at the despondent Alicorn one last time. She does seem to have some remnants of conscience, m?.. Well... If she does, and if I'm not wrong, then her life itself will be the best punishment for her. Not the revenge I was counting for, but... It’s better than nothing, right? With a wry smile on my face, I stepped over the shattered wreckage of the monumental front door and out into the night. ... I walked on the damp ground, inhaling the scents of the forest after the rain - a little stuffy because of the lack of wind, the cool, damp air carrying hints of grass and flowers. However, no matter how hard I tried to put everything - anything - out of my mind and just not think about anything, the thoughts kept creeping into my head. One thought, if to be precise: “Why?” Why couldn't I kill Luna and why she didn't take advantage of that? I... I always thought, that revenge is... I don't know, silly? You get hurt, you hurt back - and who gets the good? No one. I was already through this - and what? And nothing, damn it! “Revenge is a dish, best served cold” - is it? You can serve it cold, hot, even with beer - it still tastes like... Like emptiness and disappointment. I chuckled in a sad tone. Yeah... It’s all good and stuff, but the revenge is not on the first place. For the starters - Luna was going to kill me! This is why... What "why”? I froze mid-step and, lagging for a few seconds, exhaled slowly, finally lowering the risen leg. Could have Luna killed me? Piece of cake, a dozen of different ways! I was going to a dead end, not counting on getting alive from the castle. I was not going to win over Luna! And the conclusion is pretty simple: if she had wanted to - I wouldn't have left the place. And wouldn't have even got there. She should have sent a bomb instead of the glaive, so that they had to scrape me off the walls... But she didn't it. She came where she was told to. Alone. And all this time she was just... Begging for forgiveness?... And I, as it turns out?... Stop, not about it anymore! I shook head evilly, chasing the thoughts away furiously. “I have a problem, by the way! And the magnitude of this problem is greater than expected... Damned downpour!” I looked at the rushing stream, realizing, that with these thoughts in mind, I, somehow, got to the river and made it to the shore without noting that. Yeah... In the afternoon it was about half as long and significantly calmer - I trivially used my telekinesis and tossed my armor and stuff to the opposite side, and then swam over myself. Why did I even bring the bags? Habit, damn it ...I had to pick up some scattered coins and look for a shoe, that had flown into the bushes, but that was the end of the problem. Now it's different... However, after walking along the shore, I considered my first impression somewhat exaggerated: I could probably get my things to the other side, and wings would help me with the dangerous-looking current. There was no wind, and I could fly farther. I’ll do it. I had only one small problem with flying: I somehow happened to know how to land only on water. I was used to just breaking my trajectory when I wanted to interrupt my flight and falling into the lake with a spectacular splash, damn it... I stared thoughtfully at the river, rumbling in front of me. I didn't want to fall into the turbulent stream with a strong current and an unfamiliar depth at all. I’ll get caught in some trash on the bottom, or get tangled in some algae and drown for fucking good... I would have to land somehow. I mused about it, trying to think of something that would help... so that the next moment I could turn around and raise my weapon, when I heard a sound of erratic footsteps behind me. Luna. Alicorn limped closer, glancing at me, and leaned her shoulder tiredly against a tree, resting her wounded leg. The blue one looked... Exhausted. She had bags under her eyes, her mane was tangled and sticky, “decorated” with branches and other debris, and her left leg was bleeding from shoulder to hoof, and it looked like it wasn't going to stop. Not an enemy. I think she’ll kick the bucket by herself soon... “What are you doing here?” I asked slowly and grimly, as I lowered the glaive. “Following you.” Luna answered after a moment of hesitation, restoring breath. “I... I don't remember the way well.” She added shyly after a few seconds and looked away. Slowing, I turned around, waving away in thoughts. She got here - I don't care... There wasn't neither strength nor, honestly, will to chase here away. Only a will to get to a dark dusty corner, where no one can touch me, hide there and fall asleep. So... “Nightmare!” I flinched, when a sudden call snapped me out of my thoughts. “I... I know how this is going to sound." The blue one sighed, uncertain as she continued to capture my attention. “And it's embarrassing for Us... I mean, it's embarrassing for me..." The nervous alicorn corrected herself hastily. “Do me a favor: don't waste my time with these antics!” I spit out evilly and, looking at the shy horse with an angry stare, looked away and moved towards the river. Hearing her words isn't in... “I need your help!” I stumbled in the next step and, regaining my balance, turned around again with a jerk. What?! He-e-lp?! I... You are!.. How dare you?! Rage inside started to burn, demanding to say something, but I couldn't even find the words for it. Yes!.. Yes, she!.. “Nightmare, please, listen to me!” Luna blurted out hurriedly, shuddering slightly under my frantic gaze. “I know I have no right to ask you for anything, but... I'm afraid Our health... Mine... I... I can't cross the river myself. Please, I beg your help - and I dare not ask for more." She bowed her head. I let the air out slowly and hissed through my teeth, trying to calm myself down. Took a few deep breaths. “I assure you, We... I’ll find something to thank you for!” She interrupted my silence shyly. “Thank me”, huh?.. “For what?” I spit out evilly. “I don't need anything from you! Especially since these are just words that you will forget as soon as it benefits you to forget them! Benefit - creating some Nightmare Moon for fighting Celestia. Now it's not - you tossed her away, as... As...” Not finding a comparison, I waved away angrily. “Now it was to your advantage to not show up as one who has strength and to not kill me, so that you could kill Celestia, who had forgotten all about you, and have someone to blame, right?” “Kill?! Blame?!... Nightmare!... But!..” The absolutely confused alicorn looked at me in horror, her ears pressed against her head. “What “but”? You were the meaning of my life!” I pointed my glaive angrily in her direction. “The ultimate truth! You were everything, Luna! You were a whole world!!! And I was nothing for you!... I don't believe a word you say! And won't, you hear?! If you get lost - that’s right! Get away from here!” Turning around, I made a few steps towards the river's way - and, dropping the weapon onto the ground, sat on grass. My eyes were stinging and burning, a nasty lump stuck in the throat, head was under control of a ringing emptiness, with occasional thoughts racing through it. Not everything was said in the castle, not everything... I couldn't hold it... And spoke as Nightmare Moon again. Do I care, though... I shut eyes limply. Cold, tired, hungry... I wish I could go home now... Home, where end is decided... I'm so sick and tired of everything here... Maybe... maybe just don't go anywhere, that's all...? For what? Who needs it? Me? For what? Why would I go back? Wanted to help Scoot... And still didn't bring the gift to Fluttershy... Pfft. If only there was a reason to... There's one in a way. A shitty life is still an opportunity to do something and come to something eventually. Learning how to fly, for an example... Death is just the end, after which you can't achieve anything. And cut it off! That’s all! Stop whining! I shivered angrily and put the naughty exhausted body on feet. Have to go. Why - will know tomorrow. For now I’ll live for a sleep after all this - I don't want to die sleepy! Chuckling gloomily, I moved towards the river. ... I squinted and looked again at the opposite bank, trying to see and remember the places where my equipment had landed. One shoe fell almost at the edge of the bank - barely made it... But I’m lucky today: nothing has drowned. The wind almost died out, the storm front crawled towards Ponyville and rumbled gloomily somewhere there in the distance. I have a little thing to do - fly across, not die while landing and not lose everything, that I've tossed across the river. Now I’ll take off and... I noticed, that I just stall time. All these thoughts were running through my head for a third time, but I just stood there and... and every now and then I casted a glance towards the silhouette, that stood against the moonlit river, nestling near the shore. Luna. I didn't notice exactly when she stopped swallowing her tears and went that way, and then I forgot all about her, getting ready for the crossing: the blue one no longer tried to draw attention to herself in any way. She didn't try - I don't care about it. I shook my head in anger, trying to push the unwanted thoughts away. Why should I care about her? I couldn't kill the bastard, stupid... And now I probably won't be able to. And what's the point? It made me angry, but I couldn't help thinking about her behavior - and that it was far from what I had imagined, to say the least - I kept catching myself in it over and over again. The blue one, the one before my eyes today, was not the kind of person who would kill Tia and blame it on me, or torture me with nightmares... They didn't come unarmed or put their necks to the blade. She knew I wouldn't do it! Heck, where she knew it from?! This body was not created by her, and the mind, as it seems, appeared somehow spontaneously... I may be extremely vague, but I still remember that its emergence did not seem to be a meaningful action. I remember the Luna's amazement and bewilderment! And the present mind, that dwells in this body, has little in common with the original mind at all. She couldn't have known anything... And what difference does it make anyway? She's wounded and won't last long here anyway! Deserved it! Goodbye, brute. I opened my wings, flapped with them and... Stopped for some reason. Leave her here?.. Tired, unarmed, with a damaged wing and serious blood loss, she'd get herself into someone's mouth pretty quickly - I think there'd be enough creatures, willing to do that I shook my head again, growling angrily. Do I feel sorry for her?! She has enough: after out meeting, her head is still at the same place, where it has been this morning. I don't care what she'd do now! She left me to die - let her meet her death just the same! In darkness, silence and loneliness!!! How would I be better than her then, m? Leave her to die - and just walk away... The hoof slammed into the ground with fierce fury. One, two... The tail flicked fiercely at my side. What then? Maybe I should even help her, huh, dummy?! Why should I give a shit what will be of her?! If she gets eaten, I'll laugh at the news headlines later: “An ancient immortal Princess-alicorn has been eaten by the wolves in the woods”! I don't owe her anything! I wish this “immortal Princess” to be in a grave!!! I could barely suppress the angry growl in my throat, so I stared at the water, my nostrils flaring angrily, trying to calm myself. I closed my eyes for a few seconds, took a deep breath, and then looked around, after my emotions had subsided. My gaze was focused again on the silhouette against the Moon's glow in the water. Luna glowed dimly with an occasional blinking horn - either tired or unable to concentrate - and waved it over her wounded leg, put it down, and, extinguishing the horn, settled down, hunching over. What the fucking shit?!... I shook my head like mad, trying to get rid of the obsession. She dies here - it’s her problems!.. And Celestia?.. I bumped into this thought like into a wall. Even if Luna didn't lie about asking to not harm me... But... What would Tia feel about losing her sister?... She left me as well! Everyone left me!!! So why... But how it is better than a kill by your own hands? Because it allows you to formally consider yourself innocent? But in fact?.. “Fuck!” Not being able to hold it, I stated with a feeling and, exhaling through teeth slowly, I moved to the traitor. To save her. You weak, gutless idiot, snot-nosed wretch! If only father could see... ...he'd be proud of me. Because he would have done the same, I think, and he taught me to do the same. Damn it. Damn it! I stopped, looking daggers into Luna's back just before a few meters away from me. The right wing hung limply, the blue one, cradling her wounded leg, cried silently, occasionally shuddering and wiping away her tears... “It is scary to helplessly die alone, isn't, Luna?” I deliberately poked her in the back with my hoof in a harsh way. “Get up. If you're willing to get out, of course...” I ended, while on the run, turning around and moving towards the planned place of crossing. Damn, what am I doing?... I stopped near the hoof-ridden patch at the water's edge and glimpsed the alicorn, crawling after me. Fine... In any case, this idiotic and stupid choice was made already there, in the castle, when I backed down and didn't succeed: the traitor will live. B-bitch... If only we had a fight, if... “It’s not scary to die, Nightmare.” I shivered, when a quiet voice suddenly sounded behind me. “Scary... It’s scary to die as a butcher, not earning the forgiveness for the monstrous and disgust things I've done...” Mare sobbed. “It is, but you’ll have to.” I chuckled gloomily. “Even if it is from old age. So.” I cut the annoying conversation, getting to the business. “I wouldn't be able to drag you to the other shore even if I wanted for some reason. I’ll give you a lift as high as I can, but after that you're on your own, got it? Fall into the river or break your neck while landing - and I’ll write something funny on your gravestone.” “Rest in pepperoni, scumbag”, as an example. I smirked with the edges of my lips gloomily. “Ready?” “Nightmare...” Shivering, the blue one called me instead of an answer, hiding gaze, when I paid attention to her with a gloomy squint. “We’re thankfu... Thanks. I don't deserve your help, and you're still... I’ll definitely find the way to thank you for giving me a second chance despite everything. I... I’m ready.” Instead of ending the sentence, she turned to the river, exhaled sharply and gathered up. Yeah, yeah, you already promised to “thank me”. Yeah. Keep saying. “When you kill Tia during your beloved race to the power - don't blame me!” I grumbled, taking a more stable pose and enveloping her with telekinesis and tossing upward and forward full blast even before Luna could insist. A-a, damn!.. A flash of pain burned the horn, causing to clench teeth ‘till it scrabbles. Waiting for a few seconds and recovering myself, I didn't want to waste more time and took a short acceleration, pushing off with a blow of my wings. My stomach habitually fell down, my legs lost their footing. Rear pull back, front - folded to the chest ... Working... Below me, shining in the bright Moon light, the water rushed noisily. A swipe, another one... Gaining a little more altitude, I began to glide towards the opposite shore, while trying to look for Luna. I don't think I heard a spit in the water... Then where?.. There! My eyes barely managed to catch a winged silhouette in the darkness, somehow hesitantly gliding through the air significantly below me, almost on the water. Now she’d catch on and go down to the bottom, like an axe. Good riddance to bad rubbish... Alicorn understood it perfectly as well and started to work with her wings. One, two, three... On the fourth stroke, she suddenly, twitching, pressed the right wing to her body and with a sharp roll collapsed into the water, not reaching the shore three meters. I think there was already a bank before the river flooded... After a moment, I heard a short cry and a splash of water. Well... Okay, stop looking! I still have to land! I hastened to turn my gaze forward. Damn, the altitude I gained is useless... I have to come down, and I don’t need this speed for landing... I carefully directed my flight towards the ground, expecting to land on the edge of the water. There were only bushes and trees after this point... I can see them even on my landing zone from time to time. As usual when landing, the surface, which have just been somewhere far below, came abruptly closer, flickering right under my feet. Speed! Lower with flaps of wings... Not much! Late! Legs! Fucking shi-it!!! The ground mercilessly struck my hind legs, and the inertia rushed forward, making me bite my nose, forcing me to hurriedly move my limbs in an effort to slow down. I barely closed my eyes before bumping into a bush with rustle, scrabbling skin against the harsh branches. Fuck! A-a! Damn!... Oh, fucking hell... This was somewhat scary a little bit... I exhaled slowly, feeling my heart pounding frantically in my chest as I stiffened and finally stopped. Okay... Let’s think I've landed. Somehow getting out of the remains of the plant, I moved to the river. My legs ached from the impact, body was sore from the fresh scratches, in addition to the aching horn and the gradually growing headache. I’m tired as hell... And I've had enough of magic it seems - Luna, fucking bitch, has one hell of a weight, and I lifted her in such a way... And this way seems good - with a complex mix of emotions I stared at the blue one, which literally crawled from the water and started to cough. “Why don't you die?” I greeted the damn mare with a sigh when she cleared her throat and found me with a troubled gaze. Shit floats, indeed... “Tha-h-nks for not leaving me there.” She panted, not noting my words, still laying with the tail and hind legs in the water. “You owe me.” I replied plainly and, turning around, moved to find the scattered gear. ... Ah, fuck you! Another furious rush finally had a result: the branch broke with a crunch and hung along the trunk, allowing me, at last, to untangle the straps and pull my invariable bags off it, so "fortunate" to have flown into the tree... Hooking them somehow in their proper place, I put the cold metal of a shoe to my forehead beneath the horn cautiously. Oh, damn... A little bit more of it - I’ll kick the bucket... Head hurts, horn hurts, hind legs whine a little, wanted to sleep, wanted to drink, wanted - not even to eat - to devour. And this is despite the fact, that in Ponyville, where I'm going now for the lack of other options and the banal knowledge of the road only there, the only person who would be glad to see me is Scootaloo, and I don't even know where her house is... I know where Twi's is. She wouldn't be happy to see me for sure, but I think she wouldn't go against Tia’s task - help and accommodate. Unless, of course, she canceled it, or meets me right there with a battalion of guards, supported by a platoon of battle magicians... Yeah, fuck... I didn't think a lot about the future... And what’s the fucking point of doing so, when Luna, who's literally better in any way and who should have buried me into the castle's ground in a couple of minutes? Yeah... Here she is, by the way. The blue one crawled out of the water completely, but apparently she didn't have enough to do more: she was lying on the beach, only wiggling her ears sluggishly and looking up at me when I approached. I don't know how, but I somehow understood, that she's deathly pale... “Nightmare... I... I love my sister! Why you...” Luna hesitated, trying to find words. “I remember your love towards her. The same one you had before leaving me! Anyway: the rest is over, get up!” Feeling, that I was getting hot again, I slowed myself down and deliberately dryly ordered her. “You’ll rest in the great beyond.” Keep saying that, lovable... You always cared about yourself only! Scumbag... “Y-yes... I... Now...” Slowing, alicorn nodded with an effort and, trying to pick up her legs, straightened up... to immediately roll her eyes and start falling right onto me. “Hey!..” I tried to catch her with telekinesis even faster, than I realized what's happening. Abyss, she is unconscious!.. “Goddammit stinking damn! Fuck!..” Not being able to hold her and the glaive, that was already on me, I recoiled back reflexively from the senseless body, that fell like a sack. Damned horse!!! Fucking horse meat! Do I have to take you for a ride on the back, too?!... I spit in the grass with a feeling and, dropping the glaive, sat down where I stood, staring at the carcass in front of me with a wistful, doomed anger. “You're such a burden, Luna... Abyss.” Carry this... this!.. Damn, she's even bigger than Applejack! And I can barely stand with my weight... On the other hand, it's not a long way to go now... Maybe just drop her?.. Yeah, then why did I work so hard to get her here? Because unbelievably stupid... And sentimental as hell... But to leave her here to be eaten and just walk away... But Tia? But Fluttershy?.. If they find out... Pfft! It'll be enough if I come out of the woods and Luna doesn't. And let’s give this topic a rest. Yeah, I don't know why I'm doing this, but... but I can't help it, snot-nosed idiot... If I'm doing it, I’ll try to bring it to a close. Or I just had to leave her there and not worry about it... Just... A-a, let’s end this and let happen whatever would happen. “I’ll regret it.” I mumbled with a sigh, cussing out myself for the last time. “If you don't know what to do - do what’s good. Even though it's idiocy...” I pulled the blue one onto my back, and, holding her up with magic, I got up with an effort. Uh, damn! Luna weighs, as expected, a way more than Fluttershy. Shit, she even slides when I walk, damn it! I sniffed angrily, making just a few steps. Fine... I have the glaive, so if it gets in the way too much - I’ll find the thing to cut so it wouldn't fall off anymore. Raising a leg for another step, I, sighing, put it back. I've had enough... I don't want to go anywhere... Sighing again and overcoming the desire to drop Luna and fall right next to her, I still managed to get myself going. I already thought about it. And - what did I say?.. - I’ll rest in the great beyond. ... “Yes! Go fucking away, stupid mutant!!!” I yelled hoarsely as the mixture of a lion and a bat disappeared behind the trees. “And also farewell to the scorpion.” I chuckled wryly, glancing at the stump of the distinctive tail with the curved sting, that laid on the grass, staining it with blood and still twitching reflexively. “Oh, fuck...” Making a few steps, I collapsed limply against a tree. A nasty cold and numbness was spreading from the point of impact on my left hind leg, head was buzzing, temperature seemed to be rising: my own breathing felt like it was burning. Sticking out the tongue, I started to catch rare raindrops with it. Wow, I almost caught up with the storm front, crawling towards Ponyville in a leisure pace I’m sure there's a downpour... The brute creature emerged next to me almost out of nowhere, attacking me lightning-fast with its tail. Noted it in the last moment, tried to dodge it - but to no avail: the sting just hit my hip next to the cutie mark instead of neck or side. Couldn't this fucker hit Luna instead, huh?!.. Counterattack with the glaive left manticore without a good half of its tail, forcing it to retreat, but it didn't make me feel better. Damned poison!.. Fine. Have to go. It’s not that away. I moved away from the tree, dragging my leg, that was swiftly losing its sensitiveness, and limped to Luna, that has been thrown to the ground at the beginning of the fight, and after giving her a long look, I dragged her onto my back. Where to go after that?.. Yeah, I think it’s there... Let's go... It’s not a long way... I just have to be awake... ... The rain is getting heavier... I can see the light... It’s close... I can't... Go, come on!.. Fuck, it's so cold... Head... Hurts... It’s over. Forest is gone. Forest is behind. I see flares... Ponyville... It’s near... Damn it... Almost... Luna, damn you... Lay... Still... Fuck... She fell... Won't pick up... Don't give a shit... Have to make it... Light... It’s so close... It's getting stronger?.. So... Bright... Tia? I came... I think I came... Turn down the light, Tia... It’s over...
35. A Look BehindAuthor's Note "All is not lost yet, is it?" Original author's note. 35. A Look Behind The Sun was shining, reflecting on the spires of the towers and the decorations of the passenger airship, floating leisurely and majestically passing by. Ponies were rejoicing at the new day, nature was blooming and singing... I turned my gaze away and stared at my feet, grinning. All this joy outside the window was only more irritating in the background of those feelings and thoughts, that were now circling in my head and did not give me peace. It's not an often situation, when I feel like such an outright selfish bastard and a total jerk, and I can't even find an argument against it... I betrayed Tia. So boldly, spitting on everything she has done for me - for a suspicious and very likely hostile fucker, who didn't even wander in the street, but came straight out of a maximum security prison, as a matter of fact! Betrayed even without a reason, following some ideas, suspicions and interests - and I understood it only now, what a schizo! Fucking God damn it... It's Celestia, who called me a friend. I think this is the kindest creature I've met in all my lifes, which treats friendship very seriously in her life! And I rejected it demonstratively, as I remember, trying either to play dumb and "do not understand" or to translate it into a joke - somehow I felt that with Luna it would not end well, and did not want to make any commitments. Like, since I did not call you a friend, then I can not betray your trust, I promised nothing, blah blah blah, it's nothing to do with me! Fucking dialectic bullshit! Double-hearted fucker! Blamed Luna for so much: Luna is a traitor, Luna this, Luna that, Luna plans, I’m not Luna, I’ll not fall to her level!.. And what’s the result? Created some stupid things, like she did - and was frightened by the result. Tried to get rid of the threat, like she did - and would have succeeded, if she had shown even a hint of aggression, if she had shown herself as the creature I've seen her! “I’m better”, yes, cretin?... Spit on everything Tia has done for me, on her trust, kindness - and went on killing her sister, not even questioning its rightness! Yes, I didn't! But I can cross my heart and hope to die - the sunny horse night regretted her choice to not kill me during our first meeting at the spot during this night a thousand times. And I, too, no matter how much I fought back, trying not to trust her, still saw her as ... if not as a friend, then as a good acquaintance, at least! She was the one who brought me out of my melancholy, who healed my wounds, who gave me my first lessons in magic and flying in the world, who lifted my spirits... And I have safely ruined it all, betrayed her - betrayed - that's the word - her trust and kindness, in the Luna's style, pursuing revenge. I also fucked up with the revenge... Maybe it's a fortunate turn of events... Only Abyss knows now. But in any case, Celestia's friendship and trust to me is over. And the ring of magic blocking on my horn is the brightest proof of that. The fact that I am not in a cage, but in the familiar guest quarters is just a tribute to my moderately-fucked physical condition. I sighed gloomily, shutting eyes for a few seconds, feeling the growing anger at myself, that borders with disgust. Sighed again, trying to calm down. Looked at the clock. Almost 8 in the evening... It's been three hours since my awakening, yeah? And since then I've been wondering in thoughts... Yeah... If you want at least some thoughts to appear in this empty stupid head you have to be unconscious for more than half a day, I guess... My thigh was dull and nasty, my leg, part of my side, and my croup felt like it was through a thick layer of absorbent cotton and it was nasty cold, but I guess the poison of that damn mutant wasn't enough for an alicorn after all. However, I still passed out in the end, and if I had passed out in the woods, this fucker could have cooked me without someone bothering him. Good thing I got out in time. “Good”, yeah... As for my head... For the first time in, like, a week, I felt a little rested, and I don't know why. Otherwise, my head wasn't bringing me joy: it ached, buzzed and slightly dizzy, "pleasing" with occasional bouts of nausea and a nasty iron taste on the tongue. On top of that, I don't have a helmet to wear on it anymore, and it wasn't much use for anything else... I grinned wistfully. That's how it happened... Regular nightmares, horrible memories, plus some suspicions, that seemed quite reasonable at the time - and that’s it. Yes, I didn't know everything, and I drew conclusions from scrappy and often subjective information, but... Why the hell would I, for example, go psycho on Rarity like that over nothing? I started the quarrel myself and went full rage, barely holding myself from killing her under emotions, what was her name?.. Gilda. Of course I could kick her - she wasn't allowed to swing with her paws - but damn it... If Fluttershy hadn't stopped me, I'm not sure I wouldn't have done something irreparable. And then Pinkie popped in and finished me with a spit in the soul, fucking!.. I hit the window sill with my hoof in anger, leaving a network of cracks in the varnish, that covered it. Leg started to whine with pain. A-a, damn it... That’s all. From there on, there were no brakes left at all, judging by the fact, that I was seriously thinking about going and either killing Luna or getting killed against Luna. “Thinking”, heh... Was thinking and, most importantly, went to it! And came to an unbelievable, fairy-tale like success, fucking shit! I was so close to being as my beloved Luna. And now, maybe I’m even better than her - I just haven't understood it yet in my unique manner, because it reaches me like a giraffe... “Well done.” I summed up bitterly under my breath, sitting down onto a carpet. Thought recently, that “there’s nothing left to lose”, yeah? Now it’s really nothing left. And no one. Sighing heavily again, I put my muzzle onto the broken window sill and stared blankly into the distance. It was never so bad and lonely in my soul. ... The door slammed softly behind me, making me flinch. I didn't even hear anyone come in, damn... But there was no such thing as "someone” - only one pony could have come in here right now. “Hello, Princess.” Lifting my head from the window sill for a moment, I greeted her. The time outside the window stuck as if was frozen: the Sun was shining at the same place, the shadows were still at the same places... I never got used to it. And now I probably wouldn't have to anymore. The pony behind me hesitated, sighed softly, and, treading almost inaudibly on the carpet, came closer, stopping to the left behind me. The pause was growing longer. I don't know what Celestia was thinking, but I just stared blankly out the window. What am I supposed to talk to her about? About the shit I did? About the shit I did. Abyss, I never knew how to apologize. And how one can even apologize for this?.. “Sorry.” I finally broke the tense silence by forcedly gathering my thoughts and looking away from the window sill. “Sorry, that... That I haven't seen another solution.” Tia sighed again, not answering. “I...I was really thinking, that Luna is going to kill me. Well, you know, don't leave the business if it's not done and stuff.” I chuckled nervously. “And these nightmares every night... Who could have sent this high-class present if not she? You know, I... How would I put this?.. Luna betrayed you, then me... And I thought, that I’m better than her for sure, that I wouldn't do that!.. And now I’m sitting here and understand, that, in fact, looking at Luna was the same as looking in a mirror. I’m not better in any damned way. And you called me a friend for once.” I sighed, not knowing what to say. And what can you say?.. “Don't think you're the guilty, Nightmare.” Celestia finally stopped to parody a wordless monument. Exhaustion and nervousness were clear in the Princess’ voice. “I promised to help you once as well if you're in need - and I didn't keep my word. If only Twilight sent that letter a day earlier... But alas. And I had no right to not carry the ruler's duty... And that’s how it turned out.” “And what now?” I chuckled sadly. “I... It’s complicated.” Princess sighed, coming closer and lowering herself onto the carpet next to me. I looked at the alicorn with one eye. Wow... Never thought, that her closet has a set of armor. It isn't any more functional than mine... was. “What's the matter? Butcher is on a vacation?” I chuckled nervously. Tia cringed, but didn't answer. We were wordless. “I almost killed you, Nightmare.” After endless seconds, Celestia turned to me. It was only now that I saw how much she had suffered. The pink eyes seemed to have gone out, and there was nothing but endless fatigue, both physical and, I suppose, even more so, moral. Capillaries cracked, eyes were shadowy, and the helmet, that hid her brows, was made of fiery red - almost red - metal additionally made the look even more frowning and heavy. “I don't know how Cadence could see Luna in the darkness and at such a distance." Tia shook her head as she turned away before I could open my mouth. “And she doesn't know as well. She says she felt rather than saw... But if it hadn't been for her cry of "Luna! Over there!”, I would... I wouldn't have stopped myself.” Alicorn sighed, staring at the floor. A silence in the room boiled down again. I don't think something could have stopped me in the same situation... Something more, Celestia? Why are you still tinkering with me - it’s not just because Luna survived the night, is it?... “Tell me: what and why do you draw?” Princess’ voice returned me to reality. I looked at her unknowingly. “Sorry for touching your things without permission...” Suddenly, she darkened for a second. “Here. I found her... it in your bags.” The same drawing was put before me as I drew in Rarity’s house, which I didn't tear for some reason, grabbing with me reflexively - and successfully forgot about it. “It... literally reeks of despair... Creepy." Tia looked at my somewhat self-portrait for a few moments, and then looked away. “I drew a lot of things on the Moon, trying to cheer myself up.” I stated dully. Celestia made a clear twitch. “Well, by that I wouldn't go completely off the rails. It even helped for some time, until the mind began to spread like wet paper. By that time, my creativity had become such that I'm afraid to even remember it... But sometimes, if I think deeply, it breaks through on paper, like this." I nodded at the drawing. “The death of the mind...” Tia whispered, looking back at the drawing, shivering chilly, and hastened to look away. Fitting name. I should write it on the back. And the artist's name in the corner as well. “I didn't want that to happen!” Princess dropped, looking at the floor. “I promise not to send you or anyone else to the Moon again. But the Elements... If they really have a will - why they did so?..” Alicorn asked bitterly, staring out the window. “They had sent two of us there.” Cringing with disgust, I refreshed the memory. “It’s not their fault, that I was the only one who got a punishment.” “And you met my poor sister to recover this debt...” Tia murmured with a deep sadness “But she's still alive... Now... You forgave her?” “I didn't.” I spit out such a short, but such a heavy word at the same time with force. A hope just started to appear in the last Princess’ words... And I crushed it. “I... No. This is not forgivable.” I wanted to say something, that would bring this hope back to her!.. But I don't have such words. “But she’s still alive.” Celestia repeated with bitter thoughtfulness and, rising to feet, suddenly emphasized a short bow. “Thank you that in spite of everything, you found strength to spare her life. I’m... I’m very sorry, that you had to live through this, Nightmare.” Snowy alicorn sighed, shutting her eyes with exhaustion. “Found strength”, yeah? Hah... “But you must understand, that I cannot sweep this under the rug, even though my poor sister is still alive.” Princess’ voice became harsh. “Alas, but you have to pay for what you've done.” Standing up, I turned to her. Golden armor with a Sun on the breastplate, helmet, that resembles a crown, tired gaze, that tries to be harsh... Do what you think has to be done, Princess. “Lived without fear - died without fear”... Huh?... Behind Celestia, through the doorstep, suddenly for both of us, Luna stepped into the room through the already opened door. Pale, with a tangled, unkempt mane, swaying with weakness, with bags under her eyes... and a fierce flame, dancing in those eyes. In the corridor, behind the obviously angry blue one, my eyes caught a few of the thestral-sentinels, driving away both Celestia's fighters and a couple of disheveled ponies in medical gowns, seemingly trying unsuccessfully to catch up with the younger Princess and apparently telling her how she was supposed to keep her bed rest, that getting up is a bad thing and so on... “Luna?...” Turning towards the sudden noise, coming from the corridor, that was no longer separated by the door, Tia said to her sister in confusion. The blue alicorn, seemingly unresponsive, silently stepped into the room and slammed the door, cutting off the angry voices of the guardsmen and the nervous ones of the doctors, and, with an angry glare, opened her mouth... only to find herself in the legs of Celestia, who rushed to her. “I was so worried.” She gasped faintly. “How are you, dear? Is everything fine?..” I looked away for a few seconds, feeling completely out of place, when I suddenly realized that the Princess's voice was trembling with barely held back tears. Damn. The blue one, judging by the doctors, just became conscious... Tia, until this moment, maybe didn't know what’s going on with her! “No, it's not!” Luna suddenly scowled, almost violently wriggling out of her sister's embrace. “Because the first thing I heard barely opening the door was “you have to pay”!” “L-luna?..” The older Princess looked helplessly at her angry sister, who has broken away and retreated a few steps. “Have you read my messages, sister?” She stared at Tia demandingly, pressing her bandaged leg against painfully. “Answer Us!” The confused and clearly incomprehensible older Alicorn nodded uncertainly. “We must understand this as the fact, that you have read them, but didn't think it necessary to heed Our words?” I think Luna became even more annoyed. Damn, what the hell is going on with her?.. “Luna, what?..” The Princess of the Sun, completely confused, tried to object. “We asked you to accept any Nightmare Moon's choice!!!” The younger alicorn barked. “And not to hold her responsible for it! Or Our words are hollow for you, Your Highness?” Tia twitches as if she was slapped in the face. Yeah, she clearly strays away from the Queen title. I think, that the sunny horse’s past wasn't sunny at all. “No, they are not.” She answered, closing eyes for a moment. “But...” “Yes, they are not?” Turning away from sister sharply, Luna came closer to me. “Then what is this?!” She turned to straightened up Celestia, pointing at the ring on my horn with her wing at the same time. Rage went loose in the younger Princess’ voice. This is a jewel. The “Fuck that” order with a twist on the back. “Luna, she was looking for your death! And I...” “And had every right to do so!!!” Princess of the Night cut her off. The blocker clicked, enveloped in the blue magic of Luna, and the opened ring fell onto the carpet, where the younger alicorn's hoof immediately collapsed onto it, turning the artifact into a pair of individual shattered pieces with a short, subtle snap. This is how it goes, huh?.. “She had not.” I shivered. Celestia said it without raising her tone, but it was like a wave of heat. I suddenly wanted to be somewhere far away from here... “Luna, I thought I've lost you! Couldn't save my only pony that I loved! I... No! No one dares to take you away from me!” The last one sounded like a clear threat. With a clear address. Damn, and why I’m still alive?.. “Y-you...” Her voice trembled treacherously. “You know why I did it. I won't... try again." I nervously swallowed a "maybe", that almost flew out of my mouth. “What’s the point... And... I've realized something, too, you know.” “I don't know, but I hope.” Celestia nodded gloomily. “And I’m really sorry, that such a scary challenge befell you, but...” “Befell”!” Interrupting sister, Luna mimicked her nastily. “Tia, I became the executioner and the incubus for my... For Nightmare Moon! And she had every right to avenge if she wanted so! And it is not for you to decide what We must do to remove Our infinite guilt!” Yeah, I’ll of course trust you, that you care about me, the blue one. If Tia hadn't kicked you in the leg for neglecting you, like in the "bad old days," you wouldn't have even cared, would you? “Luna!..” “Nightmare Moon!” Luna declared, demonstratively not paying attention to her sister. “In the name of Ours, the reigning Princess, the Diarch of the State of Equestria, We, Luna of Equestria, absolve you of all current charges and declare you without sin before Us! So be it!” One couldn't name the silence in the air after Luna's word other than deafening. “It... was a hasty and impulsive decision, sister." With clear frustration in her voice, Tia said flatly, gathering her thoughts. “And as much as I myself wish Nightmare well, leaving such deeds unpunished will only increase their likelihood in the future.” Luna, scowling at sister, was silenced. “Nightmare." Tia turned to me now, trying to look at me impartially. "It's hard for me to judge you for your decision, especially since I may have been partly responsible for it. “But...” She pondered the wording. “But you can't trust me anymore.” I hinted, nodding thoughtfully. “What's next?” Can't anymore... My own words jabbed my heart painfully. Damn it... When did she start to mean something to me? How?.. “I could teach you to dream walk... Try to..” Luna said shyly. “No!” Celestia cut her off sharply, but immediately tried to soften, earning a wrathful gaze from sister: “I mean I’m not against teaching, but... I worry about you, Lu. What if Nightmare would not able to hold her fury and soreness?” Yeah, that's easy... Blue's actions and words certainly deserve some respect, but it's certainly not something that's going to make me forget that Moon hell! “Tia...” Nodding, she said. “You don't understand! Even I don't understand the extent of my guilt before her!” The junior Princess looked towards me for a second. “It is my duty to help her now. My duty to the one I abandoned, when she needed me most!” You was needed then, the blue one. Then, not now. Luna went wordless, clearly overcoming tears. Tia, giving me a gloomy stare, drooped her head thoughtfully. “Sorry, Lu.” She lifted her eyes after a dozen of long seconds. “But I can't do that.” “We can decide for Ourselves what we should do!” Luna insisted immediately. “Of course.” Celestia leaned her head with a sigh for a moment. “But I beg you, listen to me, please. Don't make my heart clench in fear for your life every day, every moment! I’m so worried about you...” Luna froze, biting her lip and shifting her helpless gaze between me and Tia. She pulled her ears back against her head as if in fright, and panic seemed to flicker in her eyes... Come on, decide who you'd rather offend and disappoint?.. I leaned head to hide a reflexively coming bad smirk on my face. “Lu... Sorry for forcing you to choose.” The senior Princess drooped repentantly, noticing sister's nervousness. “I think we all have to take a pause and calm down. It's not an immediate question.” Coming to Luna, Celestia hugged her with a wing. “Let’s get back to it later, okay?” The blue one, hesitating, nodded reluctantly. “How do you feel?” The senior alicorn asked worriedly, breaking the embrace. “You look sickly and, besides, if I understand correctly, you just woke up and came here right away... Maybe you should go back and...” “Everything is fine.” Luna cringed. “Please, do not neglect your health in the future!” “Don't try to send me away and slip out of the conversation!” The junior alicorn looked at her sister gloomily. “I’m really worried about you! Please, do not refuse me at least in this small thing. I heard your words and promise not to punish Nightmare Moon too severely.” “What are you going to do?” Luna didn't move an inch. Tia, sighing deeply, looked at me. “I think you have some undone affairs in Ponyville? Besides, I’m looking forward to you apologizing to this griffon, to Gilda. I was very disappointed what I’ve learn from Twilight's letter.” Tia nodded with her head, scowling. Yeah, I have to, actually... She really earned a bust up, but I clearly went too far... “Because of this, I can't finance you in the previous volume.” The Princess of the Sun continued. “I guess it's fair for you to pay her health care.” I think so... But it’s not a big deal, though: more than half from the previous “transaction” is still with me, so I won't be in a bad situation anyway. In the end, who will refuse in food and accommodation to such a beautiful alicorn like me, right? I hid my smirk by leaning the head. “I cannot give your weapon and armor back as well...” “I can.” Luna resembled about herself. “And I’ll do it if you want to confiscate them!” Make your bets: will they fight or not?.. “Luna?...” Tia looked at her sister with a blank stare, but quickly recovered: “I beg you, sister: don't let your feeling of fault push you to dangerous and short-sighted deeds!” “I can hardly be less dangerous to ordinary ponies - just as I'd be hardly more dangerous to you if I got my weapon back..." I decided to intervene in the argument, turning to Celestia. “But it’s your choice. Leave it by your side, if it matters to you.” I have to do something about the habit of carrying armor all the time anyway. It's not that bad, it's just not mine. And... Tia got a point. If I were her, I'd just tear myself apart... Miserable idiot... “Hm?...” The snow-white alicorn tried to rise her eyebrows, clearly not expecting me to suddenly take her side, the side of the accusation, in fact. “I... Thank you for your understanding, Nightmare.” Luna looked at me and her sister in silence, and took a step back. “Well deserved..." I grimaced. “So, what was the bottom line?” “There’s my mistake as well." The Princess of the Sun sighed. “I should have spent more time with both of you instead of leaving you alone with your heartaches. I assumed that a simple friendly atmosphere would be enough, but unfortunately I underestimated, didn't realize how bad it was. I’ll try to not allow this in the future So, Nightmare, I'd like you to stay here in Canterlot, but..." Celestia hesitated for a moment. "I need time to think about what happened and recover a little.” “Fine.” I moved with my wing indefinably. “When is my flight to Ponyville?” “Tomorrow. I’ll write you shortly after when... When I’m ready to our new meeting. And you will apologize most sincerely to poor Gilda and finish your other business, if there is anything left unfinished.” I nodded wordlessly. “The servants will bring food and medicine: your body needs help to kill the poison. And now, I must go: it is time for the night to begin. Let's go, sister." Tia touched the blue one with her wing and let her go ahead and follow her out the door. Without saying goodbye. “Bye, Princess." I said with a sigh through the closed door, and picked up the wreckage of the magical limiter with my telekinesis and stared at it thoughtlessly. Well, I’m alive, oddly enough. Now it's time to understand for what?..
36. Ponies Can Be DifferentI was habitually creating a dead zone around myself, which the passersby were hurriedly circling, and I looked wistfully at “Carousel” a little ahead of me. The conflict with Celestia at least had a real basis in fact. I was beginning to realize a little now, that the world was more complicated, but a few days ago I'd been plagued by insomnia, nightmares, and paranoia, and it was simpler and easier to understand everything. So what was I supposed to do? So I did what I could, damn it. But I yelled at Rarity for nothing, in fact. I hate being blamed for nothing, and I did it myself... Damn it. As if that weren't enough, there were some lovers of not being asleep at the night, and the whole town knew, that Princess Celestia and her guards had been at “Golden Oak”, where some Nightmare Moon dwells, the night before the last one, and had not seen Nightmare for more than a day... Finally, the cursed monster has been arrested - that will teach it how to hold a brutal slaughter in the middle of the town with scores of victims! Pfft... In short, the word of mouth made of me a criminal - what a nice thing to do. Stupid horses! Now they're all looking askew at me in a wistful, surprised way: “Didn't she get smoked? Damn i-it...” Rar would kick me out after everything I'd said to her, and with that background... I did manage to get some ice cream for her, though - I came just in time for the opening. The owner of the sweets store, that was a bit late for her job, just opened the door to meet the first customers - and there I was on the porch. She wasn't fast enough to slam the door shut, so she had to trade with whoever was willing to, he-he-he... Yeah. I hope Rarity will listen to me and won't just smack my head with this ice cream, sending me to Hell... Okay, fine. How much longer can we go round in circles? The ice cream would melt! I put my foot up to take a step and put it back down. A-a, damn it!.. You can't make up for lost time... That's enough udder mashing, man! Won't be sent farther than the front lays, the bullet is only at the commander's base! Let’s go! Sighing, I moved towards the store's entrance. The bells rang. “...Bits. You can fit it on next Tuesday!” “Thank you, Rarity!” “You're always welcome, dear! Co...me... Again... Nightmare?!” The fashion designer stared at me in a daze. “Well, hello.” I squeezed out, feeling like an idiot. “I g-guess I g-go ...” With her ears flattened and, I think, she even shut her eyes from fear, the attendant of the studio tried to sneak past me. I stepped aside to give her way. The bell rang again, and an uncomfortable silence hung in the store. “Nightmare?..” The unicorn hesitatingly panted at last, took a few steps back, and suddenly, with her ears flattened, said: “Nightmare, I’m sorry!” Ehm, what?.. Or it’s just a prelude to “But I don't want to see you again”?.. “Maybe you were wrong and overly rude, but I shouldn't have pressured you at such a moment! You came, looking for comfort and understanding, and I..." She sighed and drooped. “Actually, I’m the one who came to apologize, I think.” I chuckled a bit nervously. “Well... I’m sorry, that I said... that. It was so bad in the soul... Sorry. You know, I was walking and thought, that you're going to throw me off the porch now." “That’s ridiculous!” The unicorn looked up and smiled shyly. “In that case, I'd have to throw myself, too. Oh, if I hadn't been so stubborn!.. And Twilight wouldn't have had to wake me up in the middle of the night with the news, that Nightmare Moon was trying to kill Princess Luna." Rar drooped again at the end. “Because if I had been a real friend for you - you wouldn't have done this, right?..” Maybe. Then I wouldn't have been searching for Pinkie, missed Gilda's visit... This ifs and ands, damn it. What's the use of guessing now? “You were a friend. You was listening to me, helping all the time... And I have never helped you with anything in return." I looked away, awkwardly moving a wing. “Nonsense." The unicorn suddenly took a step forward, got on her hind legs and embraced me, scenting me with the delicate scent of perfume and shampoo. “Friendship is not about who owes what to whom, Nightmare. I want to help, I can help - and I will. That’s friendship. And also... You brought me ice cream, dear." The mare suddenly giggled, glancing down at the bucket I have brought as a gift. “You know, on the way to Ponyville, I didn't think I had anyone else here after... everything," A smile appeared by itself on my face, but there was a lump in my throat. “I'm already barely tolerated, most of the time... Thanks for... for just listening, no matter what. And sorry again. We’re fine?” Rarity didn't say a word. Just embraced me tighter. ... “...And went to Kill Luna. What other options did I have? It's now, that I have come to my senses and I’m trying to think, but back then... I just lived with the thought, the feeling, that if I just did this, everything would get better! The memories she was guilty of would be dulled, the nightmares would disappear, the constant feeling of threat would disappear, the... fear would disappear." “But why didn't you... Well..." Rarity hesitated, listening to my story, forgetting about the ice cream, which was slowly turning into a milkshake. “She didn't fight me. She didn't even take a weapon. She just came, put her neck and said: “Sorry! You can do whatever you please”. It's a far cry from the image I described, isn't it?..” I chuckled sadly, looking at the empty tea bowl. “You were right, when you said, that I didn't see what was there, but what I wanted to see. I believed she deserved to be punished, she was standing in front of me, she was in my power, and I... I never found the strength to just hit her. I don't know why. Maybe it was because I had seen absolutely a different pony, than I'd imagined, or maybe I just didn't have the courage to do this... I don't know. And then, when I was walking back, I, probably, wondered for the first time: what's next? You know, right? I did not even think about it! I didn't think about it at all! I kill her - and then it just depends. And if I don't - I'll die, and it won't make any difference!" I got up, walked back and forth and stopped at the window. “And now there was time and reason to think To think, and suddenly realize, that the heartless beast I saw before me was not Luna, but the reflection in the mirror. Celestia believed in me, and I went to kill her sister without even trying to find other options..." I closed my eyes and pressed an eyebrow against the cool glass. “But why did she let me live?..” “Because you're not evil, Nightmare.” She pressed trustingly against my side. “You... You were lost, and you made a mistake-and Her Highness saw it.” “Not every mistake can be forgiven." I cringed and leaned my other eyebrow against the glass carefully to avoid hitting it with my horn. “Celestia didn't even say goodbye to me this time. And she... She really was my friend, and I... And I, as it turned out, let her down. Here we are. “Don't worry. I’m sure everything will be alright between you.” Rarity promised - thought without much of enthusiasm. “I hope so.” I moved away from the glass, sighing. “Thanks for listening to all of this.” “And I’ll be, dear.” The unicorn assured me seriously. “Just don't be silent yourself. Don't let the dark thoughts get a grip on you. Okay?” “Yeah, I think so.” I chuckled. “If you say so, doctor.” “I will tell you, that I prescribe you a beautiful dress, a hat and a trip to the spa! To combat depression!” Rarity glared menacingly, but after a few moments of appreciating the look on my face, she poked me in the shoulder with her hoof and laughed, making me smile weakly afterward. ... Go-o-od... I closed my eyes leisurely and listened halfheartedly to Rarity's voice, excitedly recounting the latest Ponyville news, and resting my soul. And I got the thing out of my chest - it became a little bit easier... It wasn't the first time, but it still feels like a revelation. “Holy crap, it helped! Who could have guessed!” I smiled. It's kind of cozy... Of course, it's fun to be feared by everyone, but you can't feel that warmth in such surroundings. And no one will close the store for you in the middle of the day - because of you, maybe... “Thanks, Rarity.” “For what?” The unicorn stopped mid-word. “For everything. Just... Just for everything. If I can do something for you - just say it, alright?” “It’s nothing, dear. It’s not hard for me...” “Not hard to even close the store, dismissing the customers and losing money?” I arced my brow in doubt, opening eyes. “Oh, it's really a nothing.” Rar waved away carelessly. “Especially for a friend.” "Friend", yep... I'm like that Soviet vacuum cleaner to her: "Big, loud noise, one drawback: it doesn't collect dust", and I’m a "friend...” The bell rang, interrupting my unformed objections and making Rarity sigh unhappily. “Sorry, Nightmare. I'll go see who's there?” “Of course.” I nodded after a moment, realizing, that the unicorn wasn't going anywhere, waiting for my reaction, and stared at the mare as she moved towards the exit in a loss. It’s... Strange... Half a minute of muffled conversation behind the wall, and there on the kitchen doorstep was... Pinkie?! As usual, pink, with an unusually straight mane, a sheaf of blue, azure, purple, and silver balloons on her right front leg, and a box of what appeared to be cake on her back. What is she?.. “Nightmare, I’m so sorry-sorry-sorry-sorry!!!” The pink rocket bumped into me - I wasn’t even that fast to open my mouth. The world turned upside down, the floor knocked the air out of my lungs, and my ribs crunched miserably in an unexpectedly powerful embrace. “A-a... Ph! Pink-h-ie! Pah!” Choking for a moment, I tried to spit from the long, smooth hair in my mouth. “Sorry!!! I!... I!...” The embrace loosened, and the fur on the back of my neck began to get wet. “I t-old you so-o mu... Mu-uch! I!... I didn't kno-ow! I didn't wa-ant!!!” I finally remembered about the horn, and used telekinesis to get rid of the mane on my face. My head was empty of thoughts - a rumbling emptiness and a pang inside, a lump in my throat... As the stream of inconsolable tears and incoherent apologies turned into sobs, Rarity, who has been standing tactfully on the sidelines, approached us. “Pinkie came to me that day and told me what happened at the market." She said quietly, looking at the two of us sympathetically. “I understood why it happened." The unicorn sighed, frowning, her eyes casted at the floor. "But Pinkie was so angry... I was so emotional, I told her all about our fight and you... The poor mare was restless all this time, especially when you refused to listen to her...” Yeah, Twilight came to me the day before the memorial parcel and said something about Pinkie - I sent her straight to hell, Pinkie as well, and everyone else. I didn't want to see or hear from anyone - I was so fucked up... “And when Her Highness Princess Celestia and Her Grace Princess Mi Amore Cadenza took you to Canterlot... You can't imagine how bad she felt, Nightmare. She almost rushed over there to help you out - we had to stop her... Please, forgive her! Pinkie really didn't mean to hurt you so cruelly!” I sighed and swallowed the lump in my throat with an effort, while at the same time catching myself, mechanically stroking the pink back of the pony sprawled across me, still sobbing on my chest. Damn it... I... A-a, heck with it... “Do you know how much it hurt to hear that from the pony, who first came to me and supported me?” I said quietly, causing a convulsive sob. “But... But the Abyss will swallow me up if I... It's all right, Pinkie. It’s all right...” I was touched by the pink pony's sincere and somewhat desperate remorse. “R-really?..” She lifted her head and stared at me with her tear-filled, big blue eyes. “Really.” I let out a smile, feeling my eyes burn. A-a, damn... The only thing I need is to cry as well... “Thanks!” My ribs crunched again in a no-holds-barred hug. “I’ll never ever say something like that! And will never think of that! Cross my heart and hope to fly - stick a cupcake in my eye!” She waved tears from her eyelashes, made some kind of gesture, and, rubbing her face trustingly against my neck, rolled to the floor, giving me my freedom. Damn, I was just now noticing, that the box of cake was on the table, and the balloons were floating around, tied to her leg with a neat bow. How and when?!.. And by the way: why hasn't our party-pony's mane changed?.. “Hey, Pinkie... Your mane?..” I tried to articulate. “I, it's... I made it for you." she seemed a little embarrassed. “Remember, you suggested it? I thought you might like it.” Ehm... When did you do it? “She was at the spa before she tried it the first time." Rarity answered the unspoken question. “Said she would go to there until you forgave her.” “Ph-a! Like it’s a torture or something.” I grumbled. “It looks great!” “Really?” She doubted. “I’m happy you liked it! I just used to go to the Stone Farm like that... No, it was great, don't get me wrong! It was just so-o bo-o-oring.” “It really suits you, Pink. Doesn't it, Rarity?” “It's a bit unusual." The unicorn stated. “But with the right outfit, it would be stunning!” “I think it's already great without the outfit. Oh, and by the way, there's the cake, right?” I decided to move off the dangerous topic of dresses and outfits before it started. “Yep!” The earthpony smiled shyly. “My left ear itched this morning, then my tail twitched and my eyes stung - a sure sign, that I should apologize! “Before Nightmare!” I thought, so I baked it. And I found the balloons, do you like them? I thought you'd either go to Twilight's or Rarity's, and then I thought you probably wouldn't need Twilight's, so I went to Rarity's, and there you were!” “I recognize Pinkie Pie.” I thought and couldn't hold a smile. “I’ll put on the kettle.” Rarity nodded. “Take a seat!” I got myself back on my feet, walked over to the table, and opened the box. Under the lid was a cake, made of black-purple-turquoise array, with the only pink detail - the sad face of Pinkie herself - and the inscription "Forgive me, Nightmare." which was made of something I didn't even know: the letters sparkled like stars in the sky... And it smelled like... blackberries. Where the hell did she take it from?.. Ah, Pinkie... My eyes were tingling again. A thought came to me, that Luna must had been begging for forgiveness at the castle, just as desperate and sincere in her own way. I shook my head angrily, banishing the irrelevant thought. Fuck it! That's exactly who I don't care about anymore! About Pinkie... I walked over to the anxious pink pony and silently embraced her with a wing. And she nestled trustingly against my side. ... I walked down the middle of the street and couldn't get rid of the smile on my face. I didn't want to - it was almost a festive mood, and the fact, that I was going to apologize again couldn't shake it. Passersby didn't share my joy, but that only made my smile wider: shake if you want, cowards - I don't care, to put it mildly, because there are other ponies in Equestria, who don't see me as just a scarecrow, and I have great relationships with these ponies! Yea-ah... And what a hell of a cake Pinkie did!... No, man, her lack of a horn doesn't prevent her from reading minds, that's for sure! Of course, I've tasted her sweet treats before, but it was like she made this cake specially for me!.. Ahem, yeah... Not over-sweetened, made of slightly crunchy, crumbly crusts... With blackberry jam.! Da-amn!.. I think Pinkie and Rar got only one piece of that!.. Maybe two... We talked about this and that, of course... Together at first, until when Rarity, with a thousand exquisite apologies, went to work, leaving Pinkie and me alone. She apologized again, and then I told her what had happened... which almost made Pinkie hysterical: she was so wound up that it was her fault that I did it... Oh, silly little pink horse... While I calmed her down - I shed a tear myself... But it's okay: we had some cake - what was left of it by then - with tea - a sweet cake and four teaspoons of sugar! Pinkie, holy cow!... Well, we recovered. Pinks told me what had happened in Ponyville from her point of view, remembered some funny stories... When and how the conversation turned again to the events of the day and to Gilda, I honestly didn't understand. And Pinkie, hugging me and obviously picking up words, carefully tried to make the point, that she understood everything, but it was too much. I don't know what she would have made of it had she not, in fact, quoted my own thoughts on the subject... Surprised her, it seems - and, I think, pleased her quite a bit. Generally, I left “Carousel” at that point, leaving slowed Pinkie to discuss some outfits with Rar and heading towards the hospital. I feel it in my gut - Pinkie wanted to say something about Luna, but... “M-miss N-Nightmare!” I was suddenly called out in an uncertain voice by some stallion. Why would one be eager to talk with me?.. It’s even interesting... I turned to the voice: a short elderly stallion of light brown color, dressed in a bowler hat and with square intellectual glasses on his face, from behind the glasses of which the bright yellow eyes looked at me with carefully suppressed fear. “Greetings.” I nodded shortly. “I’m listening.” “Good Remedy, pharmacist, miss... Ehm... Missus...” He hesitated. “Don't “miss.” I cringed for a moment. “Just “Nightmare” or “Nightmare Moon”.” Or whatever you like, but without “miss”!” “F-fine, lady Nightmare!” He smiled nervously. “Lady”. Still found the way to remember, yeah? Well, at least it doesn't sound that bad... Fine. “I’m listening.” I repeated. “Can I ask you: haven't you found two packs of s-some medicine the ot-ther day?” The pony voiced his purpose of the visit nervously. “You can, why not?..” I mused for a few seconds. I wondered, too, where Scoot got the pills from... And there were two packs... That seems to be the answer. I only wonder what he's trying to check? “Sedatives, I don't remember their names... Two boxes of two blisters of six pills, four days ago. Or five?.. Are you about them?” “Phe-ew.” The pharmacist clearly relaxed. “So you didn't lie...” “Can you tell me the details?” I squinted. “Of course! But can you tell me something else... Is Scootaloo really your... friend?” Well, not really a friend, I guess... Just trying to help each other out sometimes... “Yes.” “It’s, of course... It’s just a little bit hard to believe.” The stallion smiled nervously, but checked himself immediately: “Don't get me wrong, I’m just...” “Details.” “Ah, yes... Sorry...” The earthpony adjusted his hat and glasses, took a few breaths, gathering his thoughts... “She robbed me." The interlocutor said when I just opened my mouth to hurry him up. “Ehm... What?.. How?!” Holy shit... I expected all sorts of things - but certainly not this... “First she came and begged me, saying she really needed it, and she'd give me the money later. Of course, I know her father and she's not exactly a filly, but... I can't put that kind of medicine in a kid's hooves, you know? It’s dangerous! Besides, Snap Shutter always bought it himself. And you know how fillies love to try all kinds of colorful sweet pills! And this is no joke at all!..” Nothing's new in the world, yep... And Snap Shutter... Isn't he Scoot's dad? Or are they different ponies? I can't remember, man. If so, what's the story with him, I wonder? “You, of course, turned her down." I interrupted the pharmacist, who has gone to the third round. “What happened next?” “A? A, next... Then she wandered around the pharmacy for a while and left, to come in the evening, just before closing. I was distracted by a customer and did not even have time to understand how and when this little robber managed to be behind the counter and flipped in a bag from the shelf a few boxes, including those two! I rushed to catch her, but it was no use." The pony waved it away hopelessly. “She slipped under the counter like a cat and almost knocked my unfortunate customer off her feet and disappeared behind the door. And it's evening, it's getting late, I have to close - will I go after her?” Scoot, scoot... I don't have words to describe it. I do not know whether to admire or to worry? “And the next morning she came herself. She gave me everything she had raked from the shelf... Except for these sedatives, damn them. To my shame, I couldn't help it, I yelled at her... But she insisted: "I'll pay later! And the pills - it's not for me, it's for my friend, the Mare in the Moon! She really, really needs it!” I couldn't believe it, sat there like on pins and needles, yesterday I thought about going to the guards... But I didn't. But today, to my surprise, I saw you, so I decided to ask you directly." Good ended his story with a sigh. What a story. “And I guess, that you already knew her?” I asked semi-affirmatively. “A bit. I knew her father, Snap Shutter, quite well at one time...” Uh-huh, it was his name after all. Is he addicted if he bought them “himself”?.. “...But we don't talk much now..." The pharmacist sighed, pulling off his hat and studying it with a gaze, full of wistful thoughtfulness. “Snap hasn't been around too much since then... But... I'm sorry, but I probably shouldn't talk about it." He shook his head and put his hat back on with a decisive movement. “If you're really friends with Scootaloo, she'll tell you herself... if she wants to.” Damn, that’s tough luck. And I don't want to pressure him either... He's got a right to do that. The only question is, I'm not sure if I want to ask Scoot about it. The story there, from the hints I've heard, isn't the most positive... “In any case, thank you for reassuring me, at least in part." The pony smiled uncertainly as he tried to look me in the eyes, but then looked away. “And sending a kid...” “If I only knew what she was up to...” I sniffed. “She just said she knew a 'reliable thing' and was willing to get it, kiddo... She got it, yea... How much do I owe you, by the way?” “T-twelve for a pack.” Good named the price, hesitating. I silently pulled out the wallet with my telekinesis and counted out twenty four roundels, handing them to my companion in a compact pile. He put his hoof into the pile and literally magnetized it all at once. Strong... “Here's more, for troubling you." I poured five coins on top of it. “Thank you." The pharmacist emphasized a short bow, pouring the money into one of his bags, slung over his back. “Also, if you'll excuse me... You shouldn't use this medicine as a 'reliable thing' for more than a week. Three days are already a bad thing... You're an alicorn, but keep yourself healthy!” I raised a brow in a slight surprise. “You're not the only one who... "gets" this drug without a prescription for such a purpose." The earthpony said sadly in a low voice. “Fortunately, not many have to ruin their health just to get some sleep. I hope you can get over the cause of your nightmares, too, so they stop bothering you. Well... thank you for your time, good-bye!” Good Remedy lifted his hat as he said goodbye and, receiving a nod in return, went on his way. “get over the cause of your nightmares”, you say? But how, I'd like to know, do you deal with it, if it is your own memory? ... It was not for nothing that after talking to the pharmacist I decided, in the hope of crossing paths with Scootaloo, to take a detour past the school - I thought to myself as I listened to the interesting dialog in high tones, gradually approaching its source: a group of fillies, who seemed to have only just finished their lessons. “...Not true! She is not like that!” The orange pegasus' familiar voice rang out like a string about to burst. “You forgot the word "was”, blank flank!” The mockery in the manners of her voice made those around her laugh offensively. “She is not “was”! She’ll come back, you’ll see!..” “Of course she’ll be back... After another a thousand years!” I rolled my jaw, when I heard the new outburst of amusement. You haven't heard the news in your classes, have you been self-affirming? Maybe I should teach Scoot how to fight, so that any such attack would end up in the hospital?.. Except, what's the point of beating them, if you remember the canon... It's the parents, that need beating, not them... “That’s n-not t-true! She!.. She!..” “She is a criminal, ha-ha-ha-ha! And you will be as well! Oh, I think you've got a cutie mark! A bandit's mask!” Shit man, I'd like to fucking kill her. When I could finally see it, the composition I saw was Scootaloo, who was ready to cry, drooped Apple Bloom behind her, Tiara and Spoon, circling around like sharks, and several other students in a semicircle with their backs to me, who were more like mere observers. Sweetie Belle was hesitating a little further away. She's noticed me first, but they didn't pay attention to her thin voice, and realized something was wrong only when my shadow loomed over the group. “Fear as the devil fears the holy water.” I chuckled wryly as I glanced at the foals, which have vanished faster than their own frightened cries. Not everyone: those. who were supposedly "for Scootaloo” - Sweetie and Apple Bloom - remained, only running a little farther away and now watching with mild apprehension as events unfolded. Silver Spoon has also stayed, with no choice but to hang in a cloud of my magic and, having jerked ineffectively at first, now try to shrink into a point out of fear. “Nightmare!!!” Scoot threw herself at me like a lightning bolt, hugging me trustingly where she reached - by my right front leg - and immediately bouncing back, rapidly changing color to red. I couldn't hold it and smiled. “Hello, Scootaloo.” “Hello to you...” She held out her hoof in embarrassment to greet me. "I was... I didn't have time to slow down a bit..." The little one mumbled unconvincingly, averting her gaze. “Mm-hm.” I clapped her hoof with mine, while trying to show her with a nod, that I believed her, but my lips only parted in an even broader smile. Eh, Scoot... Reacted to me with such a reaction... “I really just miscalculated a little!..” The little pegasus looked around with her ears pressed down in a hunted way. Yeah, there were plenty of witnesses to the "indelible shame" around us: besides Bloom and Sweetie, there were a few other students, who had the courage and curiosity to come back and see what was out there. And, most importantly, Silver Spoon was still hovering nearby, even if she was still shrunken and frightened. “You've already miscalculated once," I let my arrogance to creep into my voice. “And you haven't paid me back since, mortal. Try not to let that happen again, or I'll be disappointed.” Scoot was visibly taken aback by this change of tone, but, following my eloquent gaze towards the captured gray earthpony, grinned evilly for a moment. “Oh, forgive my haste, empress of the night and mistress of the stars!” Scootaloo imitated a bow. “I was just, uh... glad you're back!” “You weren't glad enough! The rapturous embrace should last longer!” I couldn't help myself, and I teased her in the same arrogant tone. The pony, choking on such an accusation, threw an indignant look at me, forcing me to make a Herculean effort to keep from bursting into laughter. “But enough of that." I waved away as mannishly as I could and fixed my close estimative gaze on Spoon, bringing her closer. The earthpony, who has calmed down a little by this time and has opened her eyes, met my stare point-blank and squeaked: “Mommy!.. Help!..” And shut her eyes again. “Is this her, I guess?” I twisted the gray mare in front of my nose in an ostensibly appraising manner. Telekinesis is so good now, ay... “Yes, Your Highness.” My accomplice nodded as importantly as possible in response, even fluttering her wings and feathers. “I hope you hi...dou... I hope she fits?” “Some spoon on the croup... Is it because she eats a lot?..” A few insecure muffled chuckles floated around. “Likes to make fun of other ponies... Does she learn well?” I glanced questioningly at Scootaloo. “Straight-A student.” She reported with dislike. “So, she learns well. I guess she doesn't have any friends?..” “Diamond Tiara is! Well, kinda pink!” “The one who ran ahead of everyone else, leaving the gray one to us?” I chuckled. “And didn't even come back to see what became of her?..” I don't care who ran away and who didn't... But the result is here, and the solution will be slightly adapt right now. “Tiara and not behaving herself disgustingly?” Scoot chuckled. “But she's not better than Tiara for sure... So, does she fit?” “I think so-o-o...” I shook my head with the deepest doubt. “Well, barely, unless there's someone more appropriate.” “We-ell." prolonged Scootaloo disappointedly, glancing up at the shivering, frightened Silver Spoon, who has landed neatly on the grass. “You still have time. You’ll find.” I cut it off. “And now - let’s go. I wish to hear from you the latest news.” ... “I'm sorry for being gone like that, Scoot," I took the little pegasus off my back and set her carefully on the ground as we passed the outskirts of Ponyville. I've been overloading myself today, man... I grimaced at my hind leg, which was beginning to remind me of its condition. “As if you had a choice... When I heard, that Princess and her guards had taken you away in the middle of the night..." She shuddered. “Well, I had a choice... They didn't just take me away for no reason." I said with a chuckle. “But... I didn't think it would hit you. I didn't think much at the time, to tell you the truth... I should have. I'm sorry.” “It’s okay...” “No, Scoot, it’s not “okay”. And thanks for believing in me.” I couldn't hold myself and tried to pat her head. “Hey!” The mare recoiled back, giving me an upset stare. “First you grabbed and took me away on the back like a little girl!.. And now!.. And anyway, wouldn't have I made it myself?..” “Not faster than me, kiddo.” I smiled, folding my wing. “And we have some thing to talk about. Without unwanted ears - so I decided to go somewhere far away.” “Well... Okay.” The pegasus gazed at me, judging the difference in the length of our steps, and reluctantly changed from anger to mercy. “Talking about what?” “About a lot of things... And unpleasant as well." I sighed. Of course, finding her a flight instructor who understands her problems was necessary... But convincing a Dash fan about it... “I’ll give him money back, I will!” Scoot cringed, understanding my words in her own way. “They were not for me, but!..” She hesitated for some reason. And I didn't even grab something to thank her, idiot... Sometimes I’m so dumb - it's unbelievable... “Thanks a lot, Scoot. Honestly, without you, I don't know what I would do at all. Thank you.” “No worries, it’s like I've had a choice of not doing it..” Pegasus became confused. “But was there a real reason?” I chuckled sadly. “You're in a lot of trouble because of me.” “As if you're not in a lot because of me.” Scoot chuckled. “And somehow I was the first one to come closer... Well, then, with Tiara. I thought that since we know each other a little, so... Anyway, it's good that I can do something for you, too, and not just hit you with a scooter." She smiled hesitatingly. “Fine then.” I smiled in reply. “Troubles love me. By the way, you don't owe anything to the pharmacist.” “Did you?!.. Ehm..” Biting lip, the interlocutor stared at me nervously. “Yes, I thanked him.” I nodded seriously, barely able to keep a grave look on my face. “I paid him away, even got some recommendations. How angry was he then, by the way?” “Yeah...” The pegasus sighed with an unbelievable relief. “You!.. Oh... It’s not a long way to believing Rainbow's stories...” “Stories?” I arced a brow. “By the way, what about you and her?” The painted one's stories about me, yep... I have a suspicion, that their contents are known to me beforehand... “A-a...” The kid waved away, drooping. “Nothing to talk about. She was trying to convince me, that you're a villain.” “Don't I look like that?” I chuckled. “We-ell...” Scoot hesitated. “Maybe sometimes. And still, you're, like... Like a good villain!” “How is that?” It's interesting what she'd say. “Well, like... It’s... Well, like if you had been, like?.. If you were a bad villain, like in the books, you wouldn't be helping me! And Miss Rarity probably wouldn't sit at tea with you... And you're helpful and all... You just get mad sometimes, like at Dash, and scare everyone, but you're not exactly a villain anyway. And Princess Celestia wouldn't forgive a villain-villain, I guess." Scootaloo said, stumbling and embarrassed. “And Dash?..” “Dash is telling, that you haven't changed and planning something, that you cannot be trusted, and that your help is just for a show!” Scoot narced out the painted one without doubts. “And you, it turns out, are sure it isn't true?” “Of course!” I think the filly was even a little offended. “And in general... You can feel bad, sad, well, like that time... Villains don't do that.” “Eh, Scoot..." The little pony's words touched me unexpectedly for some reason. “Villains become villains often because they feel bad and sad, but there’s no one to help them... If I hadn't met you by the lake I don't know what would have become of me now. Maybe we wouldn't have seen each other again..." I swallowed a lump in my throat. Maybe if you hadn't helped me then, I wouldn't have had enough reasons to go on living, to get that fucking blue one out, to go back somewhere... I wouldn't have had enough, that's all. “Yeah... Meaningless...” The pegasus reacted skeptically. But something was on her mind. ... “Hey, Nightmare...” Scootaloo pulled me out of my phlegmatic contemplation. “I don't think that's supposed to work.” “What?” “Well, what you said about villains. That villains are villains when they're in trouble and they don't have any friends to help them. It's just... Tiara is a villain, right? But she has a friend - Silver Spoon...” “Why do you think she is a friend? Of course, I can't say for sure, but it seems to me, that Spoon is not her friend, but an accomplice who can be used in her own interests and then dumped.” “Well, they always walk together, and they mock us together, too..." Scoot frowned intently. “How could Tiara or Spoon be unhappy? They’re rich!” “Well, as you see...” I chuckled sadly. Who's better to understand and feel it than me right now, yeah... Even if Tia had given me a private palace and half the treasury, it would not have helped me to see my family. And why the heck do I need this glitter then?.. “Nightmare, are you alright?” Scootaloo touched me with a hoof worriedly. “It’s... I think you know best with your experience... But I can see, that the poor are unhappy...” Know by yourself, don't you?.. I glanced wistfully at the wiry - even skinny - figure with disproportionately small wings, whose hollow flanks showed slightly bulging ribs. Scoot... “...You as an example... No offence! You don't have anything - and you feel bad. They have everything - they feel good. Isn't it true?” The pegasus said, earning my attention. I chuckled for a moment. She's reading my thoughts, kid... “Look at Pinkie Pie, as a counter example. She doesn't have a home - she rents a room from her employers, her salary as a baker and a saleswoman is not outstanding, and she spends almost all of it on parties. Some of the parties are paid for, of course, but many she throws at her own expense. In the end, Pinkie has practically nothing: the essentials, a couple of pieces of furniture in her rented room, and a supply of firecrackers, balloons, and other things she needs for the holidays. Now remember how often do you see her unhappy.” Scootaloo, chuckling distrustfully, frowned intently. “Yesterday. And a few days ago for sure.” “You won't anymore.” I smiled. “We... Got a little fight the other day. Maybe you heard about ominous Nightmare Moon, making a brawl at the market?..” “Yep!” Scoot nodded with enthusiasm. “You're cool!” “Not so...” I mumbled, stumbling. It’s not what you're supposed to be respected for!.. “Just don't repeat my heroic actions like that, okay? Pinkie didn't like it at all...” “We-ell...” The pegasus prolonged with distrust and slight dissatisfaction. “And what then? You’ve made peace, right?” “We have. This is why I said, that you wouldn't see her unhappy.” “What if you fight again?” “I’ll try to eliminate the risk of “again”!” It sounded a little harsh: Scoot, who was walking next to me, even took a couple of steps back reflexively. But I really did intend not to fight with my friends anymore. I wasn't even sure how or why we'd gotten along with Tia, and Rar, and Pinkie... I hadn't really thought about it all. But when I lost that contact - thought it's not always through my own fault - felt, that I cared about all of them. Tia... I didn't trust her! I didn't want to trust her, I really didn't! Maybe I was even afraid of her! And I even thought I was succeeding, until I lost her trust and, thinking about it, realized that she was to me... not a friend, but someone... ah... I don't want to... Lose anyone else like that. Damn it, when did I ever get attached and take it to heart?.. “Hey, how are you?” Companion interrupted my thought. “Sorry, just was thinking.” I shook my head. “We’ve been talking about Spoon, haven't we?” “Yep. Oh, I didn't thank you!” Scootaloo pressed her ears against the head blushingly. “Yeah, thank you for scaring them away and that they won't bother anymore! I stood up for Apple Bloom, but even so... Oh, and you said great things about the Spoon mark! Ha, that would teach her how to tease the blank flanks! Maybe I'd get something cool, and she has a spoon, from which she can't get away from! A spoon to eat all the time!..” The pegasus snickered. “If I find out you're teasing her, I'll slap your neck." I promised. “Hey! But she and Tiara!.. Well, I mean, Spoon..” She stumbled. “A-a... And why did you take just her, not Tiara?..” She mumbled under her breath, but it didn't escape from my ears. “Just think about it.” “About?.. I mean... You caught her for purpose?!” Scoot exclaimed in a dazed and disappointed way at the same time. “Why-y? Tiara is the leader!” “Because Tiara is the leader.” I smiled cheerfully. “I was interested: would she leave Spoon or not. She did. At least I didn't see her afterwards.” “Ph... It’s Tiara we’re talking about!” The pegasus sniffed disparagingly. “The champion of doing nasty things!” “Here-e.” I nodded. “And I hope Spoon notices and remembers that, too...” “And then they'll quarrel and, instead of annoying us, they'll fight each other!” Scootaloo finished excitedly, jumping up with excitement and flapping her wings like a big bee, with a quiet hum. “Nice! Oh! But... Why can't I tease Spoon?” “Because after that, she'll go looking for protection from Tiara in the first place...” And also because behaving like that is bullshit, but you wouldn't get it right now. “...and everything will go back to where it started, only Spoon won't leave Tiara at all again, afraid of a repeat of all this.” “And what, should I just leave her alone?” The mare doubted, sighing. “Nope. Not just “leave”, but protect from those, who would try to get advantage of her quarrel with Tiara, and what is even better - try to befriend her.” “What?! Her?! Why?!” Scoot stumbled on a plain spot, staring at me with her small eyes. “Getting a friend instead of a foe isn't enough for you? And Tiara, being alone, is unlikely to continue to be as arrogant.” “Hm...” She mused heavily. “What if it fails? What if Tiara doesn't quarrel with her?” “If not now - they will after some time.” I shrugged with wings. “But now you know what to do - just don't lose the momentum.” ... “Hey, Scoot!” I remembered something after a few minutes of a leisurely walk in silence. Damn it, I called her for exactly this thing and almost forgot it. “Can I ask you a not-so-pleasant question?” “Ahead.” “How are the flights going?” “Anyhow.” The darkened pegasus grumbled gloomily right off the bat. “This damn wings are only suitable for running after air!” Scootaloo looked askew at her back evilly. “Yeah...” I followed her gaze. As far as I know, at this age they should be 1.5-2 times as big... “Everyone flies already, even those who are a year younger! Or even two! But I...” She drooped with sorrow. “And Rainbow doesn't want to teach me anymore...” “What medics say?..” I specified reflexively, immediately scolding myself in thought. Damn it, I didn't want to ask that! “They don't say anything.” Against my expectations, Scootaloo just became surprised a bit. “What should they say? There’s nothing to be in pain.” “Didn't ask.” I stated half-questioningly. “I didn't. Why? And after all...” Damn it. I didn't expect, that she wouldn't even bother with it... Problem: I thought, that she and Balk would be brought together based on the similarity - if not identity - of the problems, but she doesn't even see her problems now... “I don't know... Your peers usually have bigger wings..." I answered crumpled, trying to figure out how to continue the conversation. “And?” Scoot became offended. “Rainbow said, that wings aren't the main thing! Like, the pegasus magic is more important! And by the way, I was told the same thing in the school...” “Partially...” I agreed thoughtfully. I think I know where to go from. “By the way, about Dash... How long has she been teaching you? What about the successes?” “Long ago! Successes - not much...” The mare sighed, but rose up in the same moment: “Hey! Are you talking that she is not capable of teaching?!” “As she said herself, maybe wings aren't the main issue, but it's important, you know. You can see for yourself, that you can't fly the way she teaches you...” “When I grow up - I’ll be able to.” Scootaloo grumbled. “...And also, she doesn't want to teach you anyhow.” “We will make peace!” There wasn't much confidence in the little pegasus' voice, though. “And until you make up, you're just going to keep stomping around on the ground?” I sighed. Scoot was sullenly silent. The feeling, that I treat the hopes and dreams of the poor pegasus girl like an elephant in a china shop, gnawed at my soul. But what else could I do?.. With Dash, who has never had trouble flying, she wouldn't fly - something has to be done! Why is it so disgusting then, damn it?.. “Well... Talk with Balk Biceps - do you know him? Big white pegasus with red eyes...” “Pegasus?” The kid said in a surprised tone. “Big fireplug, sometimes trades nuts at the market, yeah? He's an earthpony!” “He is not.” I chuckled. “This bulk is a pegasus. But his wings are like yours. And do you know the most interesting part? He flies quite normally with them.” “No way! Are you joking?” The mare didn't trust me. “Ask him yourself.” I chuckled. “I think he, as the owner of similar little wings, might have some advice for you about flying. He's even willing to train you, if you'd like.” “Na-ah... I’ll stay with Rainbow... She's cool and!..” “Decide for yourself - you're not a kid.” I shrugged with wings in an exaggeratedly indifferent manner. “Just keep in mind, that you haven't been flying with her - it means you're doing something wrong. But Bulk is the pony, who might know what exactly is wrong.” “Dash knows more about flying!” Scoot shook her mane. And, looking at her back, thoughtfully stared at the ground. ... “Finally, haven't taken an eternity to get here.” I grinned to myself as my hooves clattered down the steps of the hospital porch. It was as unpleasant to get up as it was to walk to the hospital. I overran too much today and opened the still unhealed “hi” from the manticore... The time has already passed well past lunchtime and was gradually approaching evening. But honestly, I would not have known about it, if I had not come across the pony with a clock, strong enough in spirit to be able to answer the question "What time is it?" on the merits. Yeah, the local Sun, hanging in one place, was really annoying at times. No, Tia sometimes moved it somewhere in the middle of the day - so it wouldn't be in her eyes and interfere with her work, I swear you... or just when she was in the mood - who could tell? But it was not suitable for determining the time, with its usual stillness, as if freezing the world in a kind of timelessness... I will never get used to it. A trifle, it would seem, but... In general, after getting the hang of it, I gradually began to feel how slowly people live here. No phones, no watch... I could accept the absence of the first one: there are no cellular towers here anyway, so what's the use of it? Although, there was music on it... Well, okay. But I lacked a basic watch: the impossibility to know the exact time in a second, sticking my hand in my pocket and glancing at the screen, sometimes just killed me. I should buy one if I get an opportunity to... But for now, I was stomping... clip-clopping through the corridors of the hospital in search of the right room. It was an overkill with the griffon, and I definitively should apologize for it. Just without your usual jokes, ay?.. “Two hundred and fifteen”, “two hundred and seventeen”... Here it is, “Two hundred and nineteen”. Well... “I think I said to you to get lost from the town...” No matter how I tried, I couldn't hold myself, glancing at Gilda as I walked in. Fucking idiot! Great beginning for regrets, yeah... “#@%!” The little birdcat clucked something in her own language, twitching, and reflexively tried to move away from me as the bed creaked. “And I did - I got lost! You didn't say “don't come back”!” She said hurriedly in Equestrian, simultaneously eying the situation and clearly trying to decide whether to fight or claw her way out of it. “I said, that you should not be seen by me... Okay, calm down.” I put my hoof out in front of me in a stopping gesture. “I actually... Well, I obviously overreacted and... I'm sorry I snapped..." I hesitated, feeling like a complete idiot. Almost killed her, and now, "I'm sorry"? And after such a "brilliant" start to the conversation... Idio-ot... “Pfft, ponies...” Griffon rolled her eyes. “What your “sorry” would be use of if I’m stuck here for a month?..” Well... Expected. “No, don't get me wrong, it's not that!..” The interlocutor put her paws in a calming gesture. “Your pals have been talking a little bit, and the healers have been nattering a few things... Long story short - I know ya were in your right and all...” Ehm... What?! “Do ya think I’m a complete chuckle nut? Duty of Life is serious! Although I can't imagine how that ever-mum... um... silent yellow pony could suddenly save someone like you, but... well, duty is duty. I get the point, I don't need to hear it again. But killing someone for a lousy scratch is still a bit..." The little birdcat fluffed up and touched her neck with her paw. “This is why I’m apologizing...” I moved my wings awkwardly, still feeling idiotic. “I'd so wanted to rip someone's head off, and then you'd hurt Fluttershy, who'd taken me off the scaffold because, if I can say so, she was kind enough to... Well, I couldn't just stand...” “Yeah...” Gilda prolonged and snickered nervously. “But you did pretty good, it's been a long time since I've had so much damage in a fight that didn't heal on its own! But don't hold your breath: without your magic you wouldn't be able to defeat me, lanky girl!” “But I’m with magic.” I chuckled in reply. “You've got a hard one?” “I'd say so!” Griffon snickered again, and this time, I think, it was even funny for her. “The last time I was slapped like that was when in childhood my father found out, that I tried to get the change for myself! Yea-ah, may he rest in peace, old #@%...” They have good things out there, I see... “But then I had to lick myself, but now... No, listen, it's not medicine here, it's rainbow and unicorns." My companion added with undisguised envy, blatantly fluffing up the pillow and bumping her head on it. “Not like ours...” I tilted my head sideways, studying the birdcat with my gaze. On the back - something like a medical corset, though - not as radical as I imagined, the tail is wrapped almost the entire length of the elastic bandage, you can see the bandage on the back left paw... Yeah, I've got a good punch... “What do you have?” “We have everything a boring shithole has!” Gilda waved away. “Have nothing, but if there’s something - pay for it! I mean, of course, it’s a standard thing in any normal country, in fact... But compared to Equestria, it looks like some kind of a shit. And you ungulates have everything here and everything is free! Even food!” Well, not really free, actually... “Let me lay a square egg, the last time I felt completely satiated was at the Equestrian flight academy, about... who knows how long ago!” Making herself comfortable once again on the bed, the griffon supported her speech with expressive swings of her paws. “I'll become soft with you... You ponies are too flabby... Even the food: Seems to be plenty of it, and they even gave me fish... twice, both are small as hell, yea-ah..." She stared at me thoughtfully. “Listen... You're, like, willing to make peace, yeah?” “Let’s suppose that...” I prolonged, not understanding why and where she is leading the talk to. “Listen then: find me meat - we’re even!” The birdcat grinned crookedly, clearly expecting a certain reaction. “Or I'll soon grow hooves myself from your food and switch to grass!” Ha! "Get some meat," that's kind of interesting to me, too... but where? “Okay. I will see what I can do.” I nodded quietly under the astonished and disappointed gaze of my companion. “If I meet any other griffon in the street, you'll have meat...” “Hey!” Now she really became indignant. “Griffins don't count as meat!” “We'll chump to see about that." I moved a wing phlegmatically, but I couldn't stand it and laughed: the open beak on the stretched face looked killer. “#@%!” Turning around, the griffon pipped and looked askew at me with one eye in her bird tone frustratingly, fluffing the feather on the chest up and making an impossible look of insult and arrogance. A-a, da-a-amn i-it! Ju... I just stopped to la-a-augh!..
37. The Unforgiven OneAuthor's Note "There's a thing worse than betrayal. A mistake." Original author's note. 37. The Unforgiven One Princess Luna woke up in a jerk and didn't immediately realize where she was, and only waking up from her dream a few seconds later realized, that this room was her new bedroom. Alicorn rolled over onto her back and, taking a couple of deep breaths, dropped her head on the pillows, staring up at the ceiling and listening to her pounding heart, gradually calming down. She dreamed of something sticky and indecipherable the whole night again, on the verge of a nightmare, but Princess could not remember what it was, no matter how hard she tried, again noting sadly, that the abilities, associated with the dream world, have turned away from her. Well, at least with dreams like that she could at least get some sleep, even if they end up with a broken mind and a sore head. Nightmares were worse... Luna huddled up to her chin and covered herself with the blanket she's thrown off in her sleep, trying to shift her thoughts to something more positive. To her new chambers, for example... When the Princess of the Night looked around the bedroom, she yet again couldn't hold back her admiration and, at the same time, her perplexity. All this for her?.. But why? What for?... And how could one live here alone? The last thought made her feel uncomfortable. Yes, the sister’s masters have worked hard - even if just a little under the deadline - and now Luna has been trying to get used to the fact, that in her full and sole possession was not two rooms of her dwelling from the distant past in the Castle of the Two Sisters and not four rooms of luxurious guest rooms a week ago, but a whole new wing of the castle and, besides the guest and service rooms, almost two dozen rooms in it! Princess grinned sadly: wanted to think of something positive, eh?.. Chambers, yep... In the company of a few servants and a couple of guards at the entrance, she felt lost in the woods like a little mare. The echoing emptiness of her new home was oppressive rather than restful. A private library, a swimming pool with artificial waterfalls, large and small reception rooms, a kitchen with a personal chef, and three dining rooms: a private one, where you could eat alone or with someone alone; a small one for several ponies, and a large one for several dozens. There was even a room designed as a dressing room! A large room, where a ponikin with her only - for the time being - coronation dress, and a ponikin with the Nightmare Moon's armor were huddled together... Luna rolled onto her side and curled up. In a position like this, she has no right to feel sorry for herself! There are a lot of rooms, you see... Unfortunate Nightmare, according to Cadence, meanwhile, is living in someone else's house, in the basement, and sleeping on the floor! She has nothing! And she, unlike Princess and Celestia's own sister, is hardly considered worthy of love or respect by many... The Princess wrapped her own wings around herself as if to protect herself from the coming melancholy - and then folded them back as she angrily pulled herself up onto the bed. Enough! Dau... Nightmare Moon saved her life, even though - Luna could swear - didn't really want to! And yet she gave her tormentor a chance. “We must put it to good use immediately, and not indulge in pathetic self-pity!” Alicorn hissed to herself as she yanked herself up from her enormous bed and stood on the fluffy carpeted floor. Empty? Invite Nightmare, who has nowhere to live! Train, take care of her - how you should have at the start! Did they make a monster out of her? Then come out and tell to everyone, that it's not true! Show by deeds, not by words, that you deserve this chance! Calling the servants, Princess, limping on her wounded leg, went to the bathroom resolutely: it was time to clean up. Then she should write a letter to Nightmare Moon. If her sister could not find time to invite her to Canterlot, she should do it herself! ... With a longing sigh, Luna dropped her head dolefully onto the desk, on the pristine blank sheet of paper, which she has been staring at for a good half an hour. Having finished her morning walk and breakfast, Princess resolutely set about the realization of her morning idea: she found her office, where there was a massive desk, a bunch of sharpened new pens, ink and paper, but as soon as she put her pen over a blank sheet of paper, she got confused. All the thoughts and ideas about the message, that have been swirling in her head since this morning, evaporated at once, leaving alicorn struggling to figure out what to write. The knowledge that Nightmare would probably throw the letter into a fireplace without reading it, once she knew who it was from, didn't help at all either. How and what did she have to write to at least get her to read it?.. The more Luna thought about it, the more she became certain, that if Nightmare honored her message with her attention, she would not accept her invitation, even if she lived in a hut and nibbled grass from hunger. She remembered the conversation with her and Tia, when she had just awakened, legs trembling with weakness and a fresh wound, that hurt even through the painkillers, and Luna had come to stop her sister from doing something stupid, against the doctors' protestations... Nightmare was watching her fate being decided like it didn't concern her, and when it came to the armor, she suddenly took Celestia's side demonstratively, as if allowing her to take the armor from herself against Luna's own will! "I don't want your pathetic handouts, traitor!” This is what it meant... Alicorn shivered and swallowed a sudden lump in her throat forcefully. Nightmare Moon hated her so much, that it seems, that she’s ready for the worst for herself - just to not take her, Luna's help... She, probably, would have refused from taking the blocker ring off if Princess had asked her in that moment... “And you spared Our life because didn't want to harm Our sister by your deeds...” Mare drew a conclusion from her thoughts by a cracking whisper, feeling, that it starts to burn eyes and blur eyesight. It was scary to realize the bottomless abyss, which was dug out by herself. After that meeting, a hope arose, that making a peace is possible, that Nightmare spared her, gave her a second chance because... Maybe trusted in her repentance, in her desire to fix everything... The sudden realization, that she, maybe, didn't make a final blow just because of Celestia didn't leave this hope even a chance. She, Luna, still isn't worthy of anything except hatred in the poor black alicorn's eyes, and only the sister's figure behind her back prevented her from doing it... In the pressing silence of the tall and unwelcoming office, the first drop fell onto the blank white sheet. ... Luna watched in somber thoughtfulness the flow of water from the faucet slammed noisily into the polished stone of the sink and, gleaming in the light of the magical lamps, ran in a small arc towards the drain. Throwing off her daze, Princess sighed and, splashing her face with water once more and blinking, shut it off. The mirror she looked up at still showed flushed eyes and puffy eyelids. And the mascara has to be reapplied... Swallowing the urge to say something to herself in the mirror - remembering how it had already turned out once - alicorn hurried out into the bedroom. It’s so... A sudden cautious knock on the door prevented her from finishing her thought. “Your Highness, may I come in?” “You may.” Luna straightened and lifted her wings slightly, taking on a stern and collected look. “Your Highness.” Bowing, a unicorn-servant entered the room.” Her Highness Princess Celestia... A-asks for an audience...” She stumbled on her last words. “Call her in right now!” “As you wish, Your...” “RIGHT NOW!” Princess wasn't able to hold it, causing the frightened mare to literally fly out of the bedroom and ran towards the hall with a drumming clopping How?... Who dared to stand in the way of her sister?!... Gaze caught a thestral-sentinel, running after the servant, and alicorn sighed tiredly. Of course... Ever since she's moved here, all visitors - even her servants - have been shadowed by mouse-winged guards, making sure they didn't dare to harm the Great Mother’s property or, Night forbid that, herself. They even tasted all the food at the door! At first they even took away forks and cutlery knives, until Luna convinced them, that it was unnecessary. Right after she banned magic blockers on all incoming unicorns... Princess clutched her wing to her face for a few seconds. Poor night ponies... And she'd let them down... How could she now judge thestrals for their distrust, turning paranoid, of ordinary ponies in general, and of Celestia's servants in particular? And, more importantly, how do you change this for the better? “Greetings, Luna! Good morning!” The cheerful voice of sister brought the thoughtful blue alicorn back to reality. “Greetings, Your Hi...” Luna froze mid-bow, biting tongue. “E-ehm... I mean... Hello, Ti...” The junior Princess tried to fix the mess, straightening up in a haste and barely feigning a smile on her face, “Luna...” She sighed sadly, stepped closer and gently touched her sister's neck with her wing. “Sorry, I was thinking..." Luna's nervous glance flickered, catching one of her guards, a rare thestral-unicorn, who has followed Celestia as a part of the convoy and was standing just beside her, cocking ears and rolling her jaws in an angry glare. “Leave us!” The Princess of the Night ordered with a flame in her tone, looking in mare’s crimson eyes. The dark red night pony, puffing her nostrils angrily, hesitated, swinging her saber-shaped horn reluctantly, accepting her Mistress' will but clearly not agreeing with it. Two more guards followed, leaving the sisters alone. “How are you doing, Lu?” She smiled, seemingly unconcerned by what has happened. “And when are you going to stop bowing to me?” She finished, sounding a little sad. "Tis only happens when..." She paused, catching herself on the same old fashioned way. “It... Happens, I was thoughtful. And it happened only a few times!” For some reason, she tried to justify herself, still feeling a little confused. “Don't worry about it, my moonbeam. I don't blame you." Tia hugged her sister briefly, a sad smile on her face. “Is everything alright?..” The Princess of the Night asked shyly. She was really looking forward to this meeting: Celestia has been so busy these past few days that she has barely taken the time to visit her in the hospital wing, and after the doctors finally released the younger alicorn, she and her sister have not seen each other since, aside from a couple of brief dinners together, Tia presented Luna with her new quarters and, after a quick introduction to the developer of their project, departed, leaving Princess to explore her new dwelling in the company of a desperately timid miniature earth pony in formal dress. “Yes, everything is alright!” Celestia reacted a little hastily, and smiled a little unnaturally, making Luna tense. “I've finally passed on some of my work to Cadence - she could use the practice, and I finally have time to... to spend it with you." The Princess of the Day was suddenly embarrassed. “That's good." Smiled the younger Princess, whose gaze has already revealed the carefully camouflaged bags under her eyes and her reddened eyes... She clearly needed a rest. And her own loneliness was a very heavy burden... “And by the way... Have you... Have you invited Nightmare to come yet?..” Luna looked uncertainly down at the floor and remembered her failure with the letter. Maybe it's... “No!” The blue alicorn recoiled back from the voice reflexively, sounding almost like a scream. “I mean, I haven't, but... Please, let’s not hurry things along, Lu!” Clearly perplex Celestia started to speak in a hurry. “Hurry things along? How many days have it been? Five? Six? Or it is still not enough for, how did you say, for a “pause”?” The Princess of the Night scowled displeasedly. “Even a hundred wouldn't be enough...” The snowy mare sighed, closing her eyes for a few seconds. “I’m... I’m afraid for you, Lu. There was nothing, absolutely nothing I could do when it was necessary! Not just nothing!.. I didn't even understand what was going on until it was too late! Left you alone amidst an unknown world, thinking, that...” The Princess of the Sun stopped half-word, fixing eyes at her feet. “And then... And then Nightmare came, and I almost lost you forever.” “Ti, I’m... Everything is alright...” Luna lost her nerve, scolding herself for the loose tongue in thought. At the first long-awaited meeting between her and sister in several days, she blurted it all out and started pushing all of a sudden... Hay, stupid nag! “Alright...” The snowy alicorn's repeat echoed with sadness. “Alright by some inconceivable miracle, contrary to everything I've done! I promise I won't make that mistake again, sister. And I won't put you in that kind of danger. Never again.” ... “Thank you for the science.” “You're welcome, Your Highness! Helping you is a pleasure to me!” A bright pink pegasus with a bright purple mane and with a cutie mark in form of a wax stamp bowed to Luna. “But if you allow me to comment...” “I allow you.” Princess sighed quietly. When at last, at the end of the lesson, will this phrase no longer be uttered?.. “Pay more attention, please. I understand it's hard to change from the old and familiar experience, but... whip punishment hasn't been practiced in over five hundred years! It’s cruel! And twenty of them! It’s!.. It’s!..” The pink pony couldn't find the words. “No more cruel than branding with red-hot iron for sodomy." Remembering one of their first practice debates, Luna tried to turn it into a joke. Judging by the way her law teacher's ears flattened and her head pulled back into her shoulders, it didn't sound good. “I'll see you the day after tomorrow at this time." Princess couldn't contain her disappointment - her disappointment with herself - and she crumpled the conversation with a dry phrase. The pegasus bowed silently and hurriedly - more hurriedly than usual - disappeared out the door, making the alicorn feel a prick of conscience for her intemperance. She wanted to make amends... She opened the door and took a step over the threshold... only to find Princess Cadence, squirming in the corridor under the watchful gaze of her guards. “It's... Greetings. I came to you...” Alicorn said hi and feigned a smile, clearly losing courage. “Of course, come in.” Luna invited a bit perplexedly, stepping aside and nailing the guards with a stare, who wanted to follow the guest, forcing them to stay outside the door. “Thanks.” The Princess of love smiled shyly, when a massive door, that leads to the blue alicorn's chambers, closed. “They... They scare me. A b-bit.” She stumbled. “Me too sometimes.” Luna sighed. “Their... Rig... Paranoia towards the day ponies, it's...” The older Princess waved away with her wing with sad, not finding the words. “I think they just need time... Wow...” Cadence stopped short, making a sweeping glance over the room. “And this is only the entrance room...” The Princess of the Night commented the guest's delight without enthusiasm. “These mansions are enormous beyond all measure and as empty as the dusty plains of the Moon..." She hugged herself with her wings. “Sorry for not coming earlier.” The pink alicorn became confused. “I become very tired these days... My aunt is actively bringing me up to date right now - but I've got a little bit of time while she's having an appointment. Honestly, I really should have been there too, but I'll probably be more needed here." She smiled wanly. “Thanks for coming by.” Luna returned a smile. Cadence's visit really pleased her. They were never really close, but the young alicorn helps the Princess of the Night in many ways. She visited when her sister was busy, helped her with her studies and her understanding of the changing world around her... Something inside Luna protested against the fact that such a rootless pony has suddenly become an alicorn Princess, but her words and actions repeatedly broke these vestiges of the past. “How are you... After everything?” The pink pony asked shyly, making an indefinable gesture. “Maybe I can help you?” Luna bit her lip thoughtfully. Sister's visit pleased her, of course, but she still felt something like a fallout after that for some reason. And maybe she just wanted to speak out... Luna did not dare to load Tia with her problems, admittedly... “Not bad.” She finally replied vaguely. “I’m more concerned about Celestia. She passed by today and I think she aches about it even more than I do.” “I’m concerned as well.” Cadence sighed quietly. “She... She had a very hard time during that night. And honestly.” Alicorn lowered her tone. “I never could imagine her in such a state.” “Yes, she said she was very worried...” “Worried?” The junior Princess suddenly chuckled bitterly. “When she understood where and why you was heading to... I couldn't imagine seeing Princess Celestia herself in such despair! I don't know if she told you something like that, but I assure you: she loves you for such an extent, that she would sacrifice everything for you without even thinking about it.” Luna turned away, swallowing a bitter lump in her throat and feeling a burning sensation creeps to her eyes. She didn't even apologize to her sister for all of this! Didn't think what she would feel! Didn't... Didn't pay attention to it. Who is she to her? A traitor and a former criminal, useless, pathetic and not being able to do anything... And also - sister. The sister. And, perhaps, the beloved, if for her sake she can build up all this, endure her powerlessness and claims... Beloved and anxiously awaited for so many centuries... only to lose her again?.. No, Tia has mentioned about waiting for her before... But for some reason, the full depth of the situation only became apparent to Luna now. “We...” The Princess of the Night couldn't hold a sob. “We are obliged to fall down and beg our sister's forgiveness for this endless disregard of her feelings..." She said with difficulty, blinking back the tears she has shed. “You don't have to, Luna...” Cadence touched her with a wing shyly. “Your sister doesn't need it. All she needs is your joy and safety. That you can do well...” “Sorry, Cadence. I've... I've been acting inappropriately these days, I've lost the courage." Luna said, hiding her gaze, apologizing and taking a few deep breaths to calm herself down. “Don't mention it, everything is alright.” She smiled hesitatingly. “I came with the aim to help you and... Be around, when you need a friend, that's willing to listen to you.” “Friend... I don't know... Sister also told, that it's important, but... I’m afraid, Cadence. I... I have only a bit of such experience! I don't understand anything in the modern world! Everyone will be scared of me! Or will laugh at me, like they did then! Or!..” The Princess of the Night suddenly stopped short and, fixing eyes at the interlocutor, drooped her head. “Or I’ll betray everyone myself and push everyone off, like... Like I did with Nightmare Moon some time ago.” She panted, feeling the swiftly coming tears and a cloudy veil, obscuring her eyes. “Tell it. Tell me everything.” The junior alicorn looked in Luna's eyes compassionately. “Let me help with your burden!” “I...” The Princess of the Night sobbed, not being to hold it. “I’m n-not... I...” ... “E-everything will be alright...” Cadence whispered, dashing the tears away and continuing to stroke sobbing Luna. The fur on her chest was soaked through, and her mascara must have left smudges of her own tears on her face, but none of this mattered in the slightest before the story of the unhappy Princess of the Night. What she had done was horrifying. It also horrified Luna herself, killing her from within like poison. And there was no forgiveness for it, despite the most sincere, desperate remorse. Cadence clenched her legs around her tighter and closed her eyes. She was so unbearably sorry for them! For Luna! For Nightmare! She wanted this huge mistake, that hurt and poisoned both of them to erase, vaporize, vanish. “S-sorry...” Luna tried to break the embrace, sobbing brokenly. “Don't. Everything is alright...” The Princess of the love whispered, longing the embrace for another minute, but then let the junior alicorn go. “She would n-never forgive me.” Dashing the last tears, Luna stated gloomily with her lost voice. “No!” Cadence rose. “I... I’ll think of something! I'll talk to her! I'll do everything within my strength. She will forgive you. I give you my word.
38. A Drawn Out SilenceAuthor's Note "Staying in Ponyville starts to become drawn out..." Original author's note. 38. A Drawn Out Silence “Have you done it?” “I guess. Take it.” I handed over a piece of cloth to Rarity with a curved line on it and extinguished the horn with a big relief. “You're making progress, dear.” She smiled, examining the result of my job with a gaze. “Is the sensitivity coming back?” “Bit by bit. But I still can't feel the needle very well, I have to stick it by-sight from the reverse side, aiming deliberately... It’s slow.” I cringed. My dressmaking skills - when I was a human - were enough, at most, to sew up small holes. Now I suppose I could fix something with telekinesis, too... ten times slower. I had not been able to do that even a few days ago, so my telekinesis training with Rar was definitely paying off. I learned to cook as well, which was something I knew how to do before, so I only had to learn a couple of local dishes, and the only thing I wasn't good at was shredding. It was a bit large, a bit crooked... But I was already cooking better than Sweetie Belle, and Rar has even trusted me a couple of times to take care of the kitchen... I lived with her now, by the way, in “Carousel”, right in the workshop. Rar didn't have that lot of rooms, so this is why I live here for the time being...It's not as quiet and peaceful as Twilight's not-so-popular library, but without the cool protocol and heavy-handed glances at my back, that Celestia's student gives me now, clearly in no hurry to forget her distressed mentor. In fact, Rarity has suggested I move in with her just after she stopped by to see me at “Golden Oak” - apparently Twilight's fake smile and my strenuous - because it was really starting to get on my nerves - couldn't-care-less attitude didn't deceive her. I was a little nervous at first, but then I thought... And, well, screw her, that nerd. But honestly, I came to a conclusion afterwards, that my presence would hardly help Rarity's business... What an idiot... But I couldn't go back, could I? So I tried to provide at least some benefit to the unicorn. However, some benefit was already brought by my mere presence: when a word got out that I was living here, the fashion designer got back in just a couple of days a considerable amount of debts, which she did not demand from anyone with force, either because of her character or because of a certain indifference to money. “Rarity!” Sweetie appeared on the workshop's doorstep, pulling me out of the memories. “Miss Sparkle has come to you!” “To you”, definitely.” I chuckled. “She has been stopping by pretty frequently these days, and sometimes even more than once... I partially heard and partially saw a few times of her “To Rarity”. Comes in, says hi, hesitates under the awaiting gaze, refuses from tea with a nervous giggle, “absolutely accidentally” - read dead on end - asks how it is going and what's about Nightmare, goes off in a hurry, referring to pressing businesses. “I’m going.” Unicorn rose, putting aside the result of my trainings with a barely noticeable sigh. I think these visits are getting on her nerves as well... “I’ll join you.” I stated, following and being happy about a break in thought: I’m tired a bit. And I slept pretty badly on the pills, as usual - again, I didn't get a good night's sleep, and I don't know which time it is... And also a couple of question arose to Twilight on the topic of me, awaiting the invitation to Canterlot. I don't say I don't like being here - I mean in Rar's... But I think, that the capital should have remembered about one black horned-winged problem - how much time has passed? Five-ish days? And there’s still silence... Strange. “Greetings, Twilight!” Rar cheerly welcomed her friend right from the stairs. I hastened the pace, noticing, that I’m not keeping up while in thoughts for almost a stair flight. However, it's even better - the talk will fasten up... “O!.. “E-ehm... H-hello! And I’m... E-ehm... How are you doing? Is everything alright?” Twi said swiftly, in typical tone during her last visits. Yeah, I can feel this big experience of talking... “Quite good, thanks.” I outran the house’s owner with the answer, showing myself up on the stairs. “N-Nightm-mare?” The lavender mare got confused even more. Yeah, I came to her for the first time during these three days... “A... This...” “Any letters from Celestia?” I said right off the bat, making the voice more chilly. “For me or maybe about me?” “N-no, none.” Twi got a little bit of grip when Tia has been mentioned. “Are you sure?...” “Nightmare, please...” Rarity touched me and caught my gaze, shaking her head scoldingly. “She's lying.” Backing off, I moved a wing indefinably and moved back for a step. “She goes here as frequently as if here was free cider. Or will you say you do it at your own will?...” “I’m just, ehm... I’m just, well, w-worried about my friend...” Turned red Sparkle mumbled under her breath. “Even if so?” The designer looked at me with clear dissatisfaction, and it seems, that she didn't hear Twi's mumble. “Lying is bad of course, but Her Highness’ task could have been a secret one!” “Okay, never mind.” I waved away, cringing from the level of "secrecy” in thought. “If there weren't letters, send mine then. Wait a few minutes.” “Nightmare...” Rarity's sigh caught me, when I was already coming upstairs. ... “Greetings, Princess. I have ended my affairs in Ponyville. Made peace with Gilda, as you wished, and even found the “lucky one”, who caught my magic beam accidentally, and apologized to her as well. Waiting for your call. NM. P.S. If you've changed your mind about this - just write it. Then I’ll start to think of where to settle down.” I ran my eyes over the text one more time, folded the sheet in four, hoofed the folds, and, tossing a brand-new pencil - my own! - into my bag, headed downstairs. I’m tired of sitting on pins and waiting grass grow under my feet... “Enjoy your meal.” I wished to the unicorns, descending and entering the kitchen, when both of them were spending time with tea. Rar was trying to get Twilight talking with some excitement; she was blushing and paling and giving one-word answers, clearly uncomfortable with simple communication. In the corner, Rarity's cat, Opal, was crunching her food, and she vanished into the unknown when I stepped into the kitchen. Sweetie was complaining, that she's completely intolerable, but for me it's a normal cat, he-he-he... “Thanks, Nightmare.” Rarity nodded, smiling. “Would you like to join?” “No, thanks.” I shook my head and turned to Twi, who is looking at the tea bowl, forcefully feigning, that she’s not here: “Here, a report for Celestia. “I’ll wait for her answer.” I put the folded sheet onto the table next to the Princess’ student and headed back to the stairs. I’ll wait for her answer... And hope, that this answer comes at all. ... “Fuck...” I shook the box hopelessly, trying to get the non-existent contents onto the table, and shifted my gaze to the empty blister lying there, next to the glass of hard cider. I missed the moment I ran out of pills, idiot! I've been gradually reducing the dose every evening, down to a minimum of two pills from as many as six - this is why I thought there are so many of them... But I didn't notice anything yesterday for some reason, managing to put an empty blister into the box in the holy confidence, that I still have a couple or so?.. Damn it! That’s bad... That is fucking bad! I went to the pharmacy this afternoon, just to buy more drugs, but the pharmacist I knew just shook his head sympathetically: it's out. And I waved this away: will look for it tomorrow, I still have some for today... Damn... Maybe I should go, breach the door and rob the pharmacy - maybe he lied to me?.. “Nightmare?!.. “I said it loud?..” I specified indifferently, turning back to Rarity, who came up to me. “Please, calm down, Nightmare! What happened? Can I help you?” She started to rattle on, accidentally moving to the doorway and clearly preparing to hold me from injudicious actions. “It happened.” With a sigh, I agreed and dropped the empty blister and box, which became empty really suddenly and it's really unwanted, onto the floor in front of the unicorn. “I won't sleep today. Because if I do - I’ll regret this...” “Oh...” She drooped, understanding quickly the things before her. “Too late to buy. It’s empty. So...” I took the glass and drank everything in it, not feeling the flavor. “A really beautiful night awaits me. And even if I fall asleep - the same fate awaits you and Sweetie, when Luna's executioners will start to tear my wings and I’ll start to scream while dreaming...” I stared through the glass at the light fixture, that has turned into a bright cloudy spot, and put the container on its place with a clatter. Fucking hell, a... “Oh, Nightmare!..” Rarity almost sobbed and came closer, getting on her hind legs and hugging me around my neck, tickling my nose a bit with her violet-scented mane... You cannot be indifferent, Marshmallow... Who am I to you?.. “Nightmare, I... I can't help you, but...” Mare broke the embrace and caught my gaze with pity and sympathy in her tear-filled shining eyes. “But I can at least brighten your miserable night and stay awake with you!” “What do you mean?.. I stared at the unicorn perplexedly. “And I thought you must complete your dress tomorrow to this, to this?.. She’s like brown...” “Beauty Wind is chestnut!” Rar became outraged. “And I’ll do the dress even without it!” “Keep saying.” I sniffed. “Take a sleep.” “And leave you alone? I didn't come to help you once, when you needed support the most.” She knitted the brows gloomily. “Don't make things up, okay? And if I’m against the wall - the pharmacy's way is still intact.” I chuckled quietly. “Don't do it, please!” “I know, I know...” I sighed and flapped with my wings a bit angrily. “Why would I if they ran out of it? Maybe I can look for a stash... Which is not there and cannot be. At least I won't fall asleep while doing some shenanigans over there...” “No! Destroying a pharmacy to... to not fall asleep?..” Rarity boiled over. “All the better if I just spend this hard night with you by my side, over tea and conversations.” I gritted my teeth, realizing, that my joke seemed to have finally convinced Rar to have a show of solidarity here and sit up all night without sleep. Good job, damn it... ... The slightly dimmed light of the magic lamp. The fragrant smell of herbal tea. It’s cozy here... And there was darkness outside, watching us with its innumerable starry eyes, and the wind, whose gusts hit the glass in the windows, breaking the silence with a quiet hum and a barely noticeable rattle. I want to sleep... “...Have you read this?” “Pony and love”?” I shuddered and woke up at the sound of the voice, and snorted as I looked at the familiar cover of the book, with a symbolic heart, under which two mares were passionately kissing the satisfied stallion on both cheeks. “I have, to my regret.” “To your regret?” Rarity raised her brows in surprise. “Yeah. It seems clean, and no one would even think, that you just change your wifes and husbands for a night and stuff without any shame..” Cringing in thought, I made an indefinable gesture. The interlocutor made her eyes round. “You see, I wanted to understand your building of relationships here...” I sighed longly. “It was more adequate earlier in my life...” “Oh, darling...” Unicorn shook her head somewhat with loss. “I... I think I understand you... Have you read until the end?” A rhetorical question. I've had enough already at the half to be impressed enough... I shook my head wordlessly. “Well... Unfortunately, for understanding of our way of life it might be really a bad book... Maybe even the worst one out there! It's a collection of stories exactly about unusual relationships, you know? Although its compilers obviously wouldn't have minded more of them, but...” "In this book you will see all facets of true, genuine love!” Or what was it in the preface?.. “Uh-oh... No wonder it made such a monstrous impression on you!” The interlocutor drooped her ears and sighed. “Do you want to say that it’s not a widespread method?” I poked the book distrustfully. “Of course it’s not!” Rarity moaned, dropping her head onto the table and laying there for a few seconds. “In an ordinary, usual family, like mine, Twilight's, Applejack's... was..." She faltered for a moment. “At most - a stallion and one-two mares. Even herd made up of three is already a rarity, at least nearby. In the South, they say, couples live much less often... And what is described here is exotica! It’s like 5 percent of the equestrian families! And a small statistic is brought up at the end...” Yeah... Well, five is not the smallest number I'd say... Fifty thousands on a million isn't exotica for me... And by the way... “Fine if so... Why do you need it then?” I nodded at the book, chuckling archly. “Love exotica, m?” “You got to face it - the annotation didn't promise something special...” Rarity became confused a bit. “And I like books about relationships, about love... Isn't it beautiful, Nightmare? “He kissed her, and their hearts trembled, beating in unison!” She quoted something with a gasp, putting her wrist to her forehead. “More like “he kissed her, her brother and their griffon-husband”, judging by it.” I nudged the book across the table to the unicorn, chuckling. “Nightmare!” She looked at me indignantly, but then hesitated and waved away hopelessly. “Oh, you don't understand romance at all, dear... It's love, after all!..” “You know... That's better for me.” I chuckled in my thoughts, turning a deaf ear to the Rarity's big talks, feeling my leaden eyelids try to droop. I want to sleep... ... “Nightmare! Nightmare! How are you?” “Huh?!..” I rubbed my face with my hooves and looked up at the unicorn, who was looking at me anxiously with flushed eyes. “I’m dreaming, I can't...” Yes, when you don't get enough sleep all the time, you have to sit and cope in the middle of the night... Oh, man... But, by the way, I didn't expect Rar to be so relaxed about her being awake at night, but she's held her own so far. But I was already floating away and began to pass out as soon as I closed my eyes... Even with my eyes open, to be honest... “Maybe you’ll try to fall asleep?..” She offered, shyly picking the table with hooves and hesitating. “Maybe this time nothing will appear?..” “I doubt that. Why wouldn’t it?” I shook my head gloomily. “Well, then you... Felt a threat?” She assumed wanly and sighed. “And... It will be getting only worse, won't it?.. And I... I, alas, don't have powers to help you at all...” I shook my head furiously, chasing the dream away. Yeah, it will be worse, fair point... But dreaming?!.. Hell no! I shook head again. But of course, maybe there’s a bit of logic in Rar’s words... “Maybe you’ll try to get asleep?” Unicorn sounded again after a few minutes of my merciless fight with dreaming. “I... I could wake you up, if suddenly...” She hesitated. “You're not helping, Rarity!” I eyed the saboteur with a heavy stare and sighed. I want to sleep even without you, God damn it!.. “Sorry! But I just can't see your suffering anymore, Nightmare!” She nestled her ears against head contritely. “There’s no way self-torture is better than your dreams, even so awful!” Listen, pal... I put a hoof onto my forehead with a moan. Nah, without the shoe it's not the sa-a-ame... Damn... Maybe I’ll give it a shot, m?.. I... I want to sleep so bad... “Make tea.” I grumbled instead of an answer. Rar, after giving me a long sympathetic look, reluctantly rose from her seat, picked up the long-empty kettle with her magic, and tapped the floor towards the sink. Ehm, damn, wait until it boils... I put my head, that gradually becomes heavier, onto the table. I shut my eyes, listening to the rhythmical noise of water... Now... It’s over... “Nightmare! Come, please!” I was suddenly wrapped by the shoulders with magic and pulled insistently from the stool. “Wha? Whe? What are you do-oing?...” I mumbled protestingly. It was so warm... And the table is so comfortable... But I still had to stand up to not fall. Da-amn i-it... “You... You have to rest, please!” Rarity begged desperately. “Come on!” What do you?.. I!.. A-a, fu-uck... Something... I can't anymore... “Come-come, j.... Just don't scream already-y...” I mumbled under my breath and cringed. Clip clop. Clip clop. Clip clop. Sle-ep... A,a da... Damn it... M, hallway. Hallway? Wait, why are we here, we were on the kitchen, weren't we?.. A-a, yeah... But when we passed the stairs?.. Door. E, not there, it's room of Swe... Nah, it’s there, it's worksho-o-op... It’s right... A mattress, a sleeping bag - an uncomplicated bed on the floor. I almost fall onto it. That’s it... “Everything will be a-alright, yes?...” Unicorn whispers, swallowing nervously. “D-don't be afraid, okay, Nightmare? I’ll... Well, be with you, just in case... Ye-a-ah... Pony’s lips touched my cheek softly. “The dawn will come, bringing a new day Believe in the best, just be grateful and lay...” My eyelids finally closed, and the words of the softly sounding song began to drift away sharply... Damn it... I’ll regret it... ... She left me. Alone. Here. “Why?.. Come back, please!...” It’s scary. It’s painful. Why is everything... So?!... I’m... This is a dream... But I... Damn it. Again Moon. Again loneliness. Dream... At least not dungeons of thestrals-vivisectionists... I’m sure that I wouldn't believe in them anyway... I don't know... And believing in this is a lost cause... Luna... Why did she leave me?.. F-fuck... I... Nightmare... It’s so... The heart is pounding so fast in the chest. Tears pour down the cheeks. I... I can't look at this... Why?!... This blue bitch told me once, that I’m somewhat a specialist in dream walking now - and what?! Where is it?! Why should I close my eyes and see... It all over and over again?.. I can't... I can't take this anymore... “Why did you leave me here?!” The scream rips my throat. Dead silence. Only the abyss stares blankly from above with its innumerable eyes. I feel that gaze. Anticipatory. Waiting for something... Damn it... This is a dream. This is a dream. I just need to withdraw and... And to feel the tears, streaming down my face, and a huge chunk of my soul being ripped out. I can't... Why is this happening?!... I don't want to!... I don't want to see it anymore! Luna, come back, I beg you... You know perfectly, that she did not come back! Fuck this then!!! And this cursed past as well! And this cursed memories! And this cursed dreams!!! “ENOUGH!!!” It’s like a wave of energy ran through my horn. I feel someone's touched me behind. Who?! I hit without looking, jumping back, turning around, getting ready for... for something. Gaze... This gaze in my back, wherever I turn... It’s impossible to hide from the Abyss... She's everywhere... She's always with me... Heck with it!!! Let her stare at me and Rar drinking tea, it's not a pity! She still will have to go away, when Celestia rises the Sun! It's strange. The starry sky above my head is just wonderful. Damn, I've never seen this in my whole life... Maybe only on some fantastic arts... But why does it scare me?.. And where this gaze in the back comes from?.. I turned around with a jerk. Still the same grayish-white sand with sharp contrasting shadows on it. Starry sky. And no one. And the gaze in the back. Not expectant, but surprised, perplexed. Who?.. “Show yourself!” Turned around again. The nostrils flared angrily, tail whipping at sides. Like an actor in some stupid show, watched by a hidden camera, and the director chooses the best shots... Director. “SHOW YOURSELF!!!” The voice is double, as it was then. The horn burns... ...I’m standing on a sand-filled stage. A starry sky is painted in the background. Above, a battery of spotlights stabs my eyes. Strange, massive cameras all around. A director's stool. A pony-like figure made of purple-black smoke, shivering like hot air. One glance is somehow enough to see the utter incomprehension and shock in it. It's him! It was his look! He's the one who forced me to look!!! “DI-I-IE!!!” Throat is once again ripped away by the scream. A blinding beam rushes from the horn into the figure. My head throbbed with pain, the base of the horn stinging nastily. The figure disappears with the sound of shattering glass. And I... ... “Nightmare! Nightmare, wake up already! Please, dear!..” Desperate and frightened voice goes through like through cotton-wool, somewhere from afar. Fu-uck... Hea-ad... The horn pulsed, making me think of a blinking, half-dead fluorescent bulb and giving me an indescribable sensation, and my feet were frozen by some kind of strange draught. “Water...” I spoke hoarsely, not opening eyes. “O-oh...” Rarity sighed with relief and sobbed. “Thank Celestia, you have awoken!.. I’m so...” Unicorn sobbed again and, not ending the speech, clopped somewhere aside. Fucking he-ell... What was that?.. I remember myself, dreaming about Luna and the Moon again. And then?.. And then, if I’m right, I was outraged and thought of something... I think I thought of Luna, lying to me about realizing, that I’m dreaming and the fact, that I’m the chief there now. After that, the dream began to crack, and I also thought that I looked like an actor in it, and the director was sitting here somewhere... and so it became. And the director came into view, too. And I hit him... And judging by the result - I hit him hard... Oh, damn, it’s so painfu-ul!.. I opened my eyes carefully and slowly right for the time to see a white blot, coming into the room. “Take it, Nightmare.” Something like a glass with water was put down before me onto the floor. “How do you feel?” “I've had w... Ah, f-f!..” I casually put the magic into the horn - and immediately regretted it. I think only a couple of sparkles broke out of the horn. “Nightmare!” A frightened exclamation nearby. “Oh, it seems you have an overcharge... I'm sorry, I... I didn't think it was like this... I'll help!..” A blue cloud enveloped the glass, that finally appeared in front of my focused vision, and it floated up to my nose. “Don't..." I wheezed mechanically, as I carelessly opened my mouth and immediately felt the cool glass and life-giving moisture with my lips. I spit on unnecessary objections and took a couple of big sips, draining the container. Yea-ah... Phew... “Thanks, Rar...” I put the head back onto the floor, closing eyes. “My head splits... And so chilly... What was even that?..” “It's my fault!” She sighed heartbreakingly. “I’m so sorry, Nightmare. I shouldn't have insisted and told you to sleep! But... You don't get enough sleep as it is, and you've had a sleepless night... I'm sorry. I only wanted what was best for you." Rarity finished with sadness. “That's not what I meant." I waved away faintly. “What was with me? And do you have something from headache?” “Oh, I’m terrible!” Unicorn almost whined. “I’ll bring it now!” In less than a minute, I had another glass of water and a pill, hanging before my nose. “Thanks.” I thanked dully, swallowing the offered. “You're very welcome." The mare sighed and lay down beside me, gently nestling against my side. “It’s all my fault...” “What was going on with me?” I couldn't hold some displeasure in my voice. Damn, Rar, will you give it a rest?.. “Well... At first everything was calm, and then tears started to pour down your cheeks...” This is why the fur on my cheeks is dragging... And heck with it, damn it: why is there a hole in the wall next to the window and no window at all - only the remains of the frame sticking out?... I looked around the room and stumbled with astonishment at the traces of destruction. There, by the window, stood the mane... ponikin with the dress, that Rar has to hand out tomorrow... Ah, there it lies... half of it, slightly melted... with half of the dress... “...Then I tried to touch you to awake and...” Meanwhile, Rarity continued, while I was trying to get a grip and gauge the damage done. “You... Twitched, but haven't woken up.” The unicorn, for some reason, gingerly touched her right cheekbone, where I could see an abrasion and a growing bruise... Fu-u-uck... “Twitched, yeah?.. Sorry, I’m...” “Don't apologize, dear. It's my fault.” Rarity sighed. “I shouldn't... Hm. Sorry. Then you started screaming for someone to show himself, and then... And then, with a creepy voice, you shouted “Die!”, and you shot the beam right there." She said, shivering, pointing to the hole in the wall I've seen already. Damn it... A circular melted hole about twenty centimeters in diameter - in a wall a decent brick thick... My head definitely has something to ache from... For example, from what I will do now. Shit. “And then you just collapsed exhausted and fell silent. You could even barely breathe... I tried to wake you up, but you didn't respond to anything... I got so scared..." The unicorn hugged herself with her front legs and pressed her head into her shoulders. “Sorry, Nightmare. I...” “You apologize too much for a victim. If you were under that beam... I also ruined your order for tomorrow." Damn me Abyss... Nice nap, fucking shit. But... What that was in the dream? *** “Nightmare, don't spin around!” “A-apf-a...” I rolled my eyes and let out an indefinable, wistful groan and took my old pose. “How much longer?!” “Not a lot! Just a few...” Minutes?... “...Hours and I think we call it a day!” What?! I opened my mouth to object, but after a second, I slammed it back with a clatter, making a long-long exhaling with a heavy-heavy tone. You have to make up for it somehow - one, no one made you talk - two. So now I'm stuck in the middle of the workshop, while the unicorn is enthusiastically assembling on pins and needles another prototype of a dress from her new collection right on me. “The Shining of the Night” or what is it?.. It wasn't exactly a cheap night... I glanced over at the massive ring on my horn. Medical, this time: I can press the latch and take it off right now, but shouldn't, because it's easy to make myself even worse by witchcraft, and my relationships with control... Damn, I got so used to magic and telekinesis, that only when a cup was busted I understood its absence. I knocked it off the table by accident, but I didn't even move to pick it up - I just reflexively reached for it with my magic... which went no further than the ring, and the mug met the floor. Yeah... In addition to the broken mug, there was a destroyed ponikin and a new dress on it, which also cost Rar the order itself: distraught Beauty Wind could no longer wait for a new one, having gone to some party without a dress in tears. And to crown the picture of destruction was a broken window, a broken frame, and a very lucky hole in the wall, for the proper repair of which I have to dismantle part of the wall above and lay it again... Only about a meter to the roof, it seemed, but the price tag for this repair was by no means insignificant... Anyway, the only thing I had left to offer Rarity was my body, which she was eager to use, and she began to forget to eat and sleep as soon as she was sketching for her new masterpieces Which, by the way, I have to present at the show... With a cheerful smile. In front of cameras. Oh, my gosh... What kind of life is this?.. “Nightmare, lift your left wing, please.” I complied, and, trying to do it quietly, stepped from foot to foot, trying to somehow shift my weight from my more tired legs to the less tired ones. It didn't work: everything was already tired. Sighing quietly again, I returned to my thoughts. A thing, that came out of the blue, if long story short... Yeah... And, as if all this was not enough, I was left without the horn as well. As soon as it dawned, Rar firstly dragged me to the hospital, to the doctors. In fact, the sparking horn was not such an alarming symptom in and of itself - but not when a pony already has some problems in that area. So, as a result, I got a categorical ban on magic up to telekinesis and a decoration on the horn for at least three days, so as not to inadvertently, reflexively, suddenly do not use it. Chuckled: “Playing safe” and, when I returned from the hospital, the first thing I did was trying to witch and broke a mug... And damn me, it’s like without arms when you don't have the horn... Ah, yes... I chuckled sadly. Without arms and with legs all over the body. Damn, it's so hard to live only with one hoofkenesis! It's been only a little bit less than half of the day, and I’m already ready to whine and go up the wall, if to be honest... “Nightmare!!! Don't itch, it'll all fall apart!!!” “Sorry." I mumbled wistfully, and straightened up again, looking sadly at the enthusiastic modeler, shining a black eye on her right cheekbone, barely visible through the makeup. It must have been a hard blow, but Rar didn't even try to blame me for it, saying it was her own fault. She tried to say something about the mess I have made, too, but I couldn't take it. I don't want to make her pay for it, I really don't... I remembered her idea about the new collection and me modeling it, so I gave up, thinking that if the sales were successful, Rarity could at least cover her losses. The thought of getting into dresses and glittering on the catwalk was deathly depressing, but what else could I do for Rar without feeling like an asshole - I had no more ideas. And so... “O-oh! It would be matchless! You can let your wings down, darling. What about the hemline?..” My tail was unceremoniously grabbed by magic and lifted higher, making me grind my teeth and control my hind legs from a reflexive urge to introduce the insolent to a pair of hooves at one time. I hate when she does that. Yeah... How does one say that?.. "Got your foot in the wheel - whine, but you must run"?.. Damn it... But at least one thing suddenly came out as a good one from all this mess: I slept like a log last night and, for the first time in a while, I have woken up alive and caught up on sleep. No nightmares, no hints of them, no dreams - just turned off and on. At last... And something tells me, that the reason for this is exactly where the hole in the wall came from. Haven't Luna been lying about the dream world's powers back then?
39. A Round AnniversaryAuthor's Note "It's been a long time..." Original author's note. 39. A Round Anniversary Yeah... And now we hi-i-it the brakes... The wings flapped abruptly to extinguish speed, and the ground struck my feet. I had to run a few more steps, extinguishing my inertia. Phe-ew! I landed! And even quite good, especially compared to the first attempts... Uh... It was a sunny, warm morning, with the Sun hanging in zenith in its typical Equestrian style, a light breeze drove small fluffy clouds like wisps of cotton candy across the sky, and the cool grass tickled my feet nicely... A crow cawed in a foul voice, nestled somewhere on a small tree on a hill. Damn it. As I walked up the slope and onto the plateau, I spotted a cat, hanging out under a tree. Now it’s clear... “Shoo!” I gave her an advice, coming closer. With a barely audible rustle, the striped cat disappeared into the grass. The raven, to which I was silent, hurried away just as silently, flapping its wings like an insect... I chuckled mockingly after them in the blissful silence that ensued, laid down on the grass in the shade under the crown, turning towards the glistening lake below and spreading my buzzing wings to relax them a bit. So go-od... I've been dreaming of flights for so long - and now I can do it. And without airfields or air traffic controllers: wherever I want, I take off... Finally, I was getting good at it! Yes, I was not yet confident in my skills, I was afraid to fly high, but I was able to fly from point A to point B with easy maneuvering and in a moderate wind. And for the last couple of days I've been doing nothing but giving up on everything and flying around in circles, getting high from the feeling of flying... Well, during this week... A week and a day, to be exact, in local terms: I should probably get used to counting six days instead of seven... In general, a lot happened in the seven days that have passed since the memorable defeat. Firstly, and most importantly - I sleep well. For the whole we... Sennight - yes! Not a singe nightmare! At least something I dreamed of was only once, and it was a normal dream of a healthy person: stupid, incomprehensible, illogical and completely neutral. And honestly, it causes... Perplexity. So it turns out, that the blue one was honest with me? Why would she? And it also turns out, that the nightmares weren't a gift from her, but came on their own - and Rarity was right, in the end, damn it... But since it wasn't Luna - suddenly - then... Wait, the "director" in the dream, who suddenly remembered clearly! Well, in that case I can see why I'm getting a good night's sleep now: I gave him a good ass-beating! Him, Rarity, and her poor “Carousel”, damn... Now I'll be modeling for this, showing dresses to a sophisticated audience... The dresses... No, it was probably worth it to be able to sleep and sleep well, but... I sighed helplessly. The sketches, the designs, the concepts, and the preliminary measurements and fittings were all over: Rarity threatened to finish her first outfit today, tomorrow at most. I’m sure she would make me put it on and twirl in front of the mirror... and smile. I sighed even more helplessly. What could I do now... That's the way it is. And even if Tia texts me now, she would get a polite "sry, i can't" in return. It's too late to back out, especially when, by and large, it was my own idea and my own meddling... Tia, by the way, still hasn't written anything. I have to admit: her deadpan silence was starting to make me really tense, especially since my letters to her have gone unanswered, too. Damn it... It's like she doesn't want to know me anymore. And openly spying on me Twi rather confirms it: it turns out, I’m a point of interest. But she is wordless... It means I didn't justify her confidence... The thought made me feel sick: Tia has done me a lot of good. And in return... Oh, shit... Did I hurt her so badly with my idiocy? Maybe she'd pay attention if I wrote to her properly and with all rules in mind? Well, you know, with the statutory letterhead, with all these titles and salutations, and also with a quill... I have improved my telekinesis a lot, compared to my first attempts, and the damn deficiency was also slowly but surely receding: the magic was gradually getting easier and the wings were holding me more and more confident. Generally, I think I’ll manage if I do this. I think I should give it a shot - it's anyway better than just wait... Yeah... “Just wait” is always a hard task for some reason, and “just wait” for the event, when medics will take this anti-magic ring off me... Damn me. Four days without the horn and its capabilities is... Man, I was looking forward to another visit to the hospital and the removal of the damn limiter like I didn't look forward to my birthday when I was a kid! I’m ponified entirely, God damn it, I was so sick of living without magic... And it's awfully uncomfortable to live without magic when all you've got is legs. No, you can, of course... If you're a purebred pony, and even if you have a horn, normal, conscious telekinesis is practically impossible until you're about ten years old, and you’ll get used to it even without knowing it. But I began in an already adult body and I started with telekinesis... I couldn't help but thank Luna: if I'd stayed with that ring on my horn until Tia cooled down and forgave me... However, it wasn't so much the blue one's achievement: I would have found a way out even without her. And Tia wouldn't mock me for long... Maybe... if I hadn't fallen as low in her eyes as I had in Fluttershy's after... all of this. I sighed wistfully and rested my head right on the grass. Flutty... She was afraid of me. She is afraid now... No, she was honestly trying to hold on - but she just couldn't... And I couldn't see any way to fix it. I could only hope, that someday the cute pegasus would forget what has happened a bit and calm down, letting things to begin again, but for now... Ah, fuck... I rose abruptly to my feet in frustration, and with one last impassive glance at the familiar landscape of the lake, I strode slowly towards Ponyville. At least everything was back to normal with the others. And even better than before: Rarity didn't seem to have any fear of me at all, even though she knew firsthand almost all of my problems and antics. Or maybe that was why she wasn't afraid, because she didn't see me as some creepy, incomprehensible thing, but as... a friend? Not an ordinary pony, maybe, but more or less understandable and... Damn, how do you say "human" about a pony?.. I froze for a few seconds, lost my pace, snorted unhappily, shook my head, and moved on. So... Simplifying, in Rar's eyes my conventional image was almost completely shattered, revealing real Nightmare Moon beneath. Barely very pleasant, but still a pony, not a chthonic monster from the ancient scriptures. I couldn't figure out what it was about this pony that attracted her. Was her simple sympathy enough to put up with such a heap of problems and inconveniences? I'm not blind, I can see that her orders have decreased... But despite everything, she still accepted me and considered me her friend. “Thanks, Rar. What would I do without you?..” I whispered to myself as I paused to look up at the roof of “Carousel”, visible from the high ground. If I had looked earlier, when I was higher up, I would have seen the scaffolding that grew along one of the walls... I continued my way, shaking head. It’s so interesting to see how the tables have turned ...Rar, as I'd assumed many times before, was probably the last of the six I would have considered a friend, but nevertheless she was almost the closest creature I have here in the new world... A certain contact was established with Pinkie, too, that was seemingly lost at one point, but now reliably restored. But we didn't communicate with the pink baker very regularly - we lacked a common interest... Still, if not friends, we were definitely buddies. And, to my surprise, Scootaloo got into my short list of friends. The little pegasus, obviously not very happy in life, was suddenly close and important to me for some reason. Brave, tenacious, stubborn, almost never discouraged, ready to stand up for what she believed to be true - although the skinny, angular little pony clearly did not have the easiest and most comfortable life... She even admired me, I must admit. I wanted to do something to support her, something to help her... I'll stop by Pinkie's tomorrow - I should feed this young, growing body with some yummy thing. I couldn't hold a smile. And in general - I must meet her, ask how she is doing, because after that memorable conversation, we haven't even met. I've seen here like literally a couple of times. And during one of them with Bulk accompanying. I wonder how things worked out between them and how Scooty and Dash are doing, with all these things considered. The painted fool, by the way, also came into view not so long ago in the company of Gilda, bandaged all over the body - apparently, the birdcat has been let out to get some air. As usual, Rainbow gave me a sultry look and an unkind, promising squint, griffon gave me a welcoming wave of her paw. You should have seen the look on Dash’s face! I burst out laughing when I remembered the "And you, Brutus?!", that was scrawled in huge letters on the lengthened face of the pegasus. I guess her friendship with Gilda won't last long either... Yeah... The little birdcat, though, turned out to be relatively adequate - all I had to do was give her a good beating to clear her head. And now, Rarity is already retelling Fluttershy's story about how she went to the hospital to visit the poor griffon - and Gilda apologized to her! To be honest, it even surprised me a little... Rar then was admired by it: this is how a kind attitude and good doctors change even such savages for the better. I nodded meaningfully: of course, it had nothing to do with me, kicking her fucking ass... Yes, I have beaten her up pretty good back then, but we had no more complaints about each other since then: even though the meat story has not led to the desired outcome, Gilda was quite pleased with the partial success. I snorted and shook my head with a chuckle. This was epic! Light green Twi and Applejack in the same state, who, unfortunately for her, had been a guest of the librarian at the time, were still a lot of fun. What did I do? I only wanted to make up with Gilda - they themselves told me to... Well, I came, asked where to get meat, what kind of meat to cut from the carcass, and how to cook it properly so the griffon would like it... I was scolded, accused by the farmer of "my stupid and spiteful jokes" and I demonstratively got mad at them - I just wanted to follow the best way, to make peace... I offered in response to go to Gilda together. She seemed to be tempted to retaliate against me and go away in denial, but when she met my gaze, the griffon decided, that she still wanted to live and confirmed everything, much to Twilight's dismay and Applejack's somewhat less concentrated one. We looked at the runaway ponies with the same gazes, looked at each other, and laughed. Griffon said doubtfully, "You're all right, even if you are a pony" and we parted on that. The next day, Twi, who was looking at me askew, announced Celestia's answer to her hurried letter: to increase the amount of fish in Gilda's diet. I probably don't need to specify at whose expense ... Well, whatever. The question, in any case, was closed, the griffon was quite satisfied with the fish... and I was once again left without a chance to taste the meat. Damn it. The sound of footsteps changed from stomping to clattering, and I didn't even notice, that I was in the cobblestone streets of the town. Bypassers were no longer shying away from me or circling me in a wide arc, just shunning me with courteous apprehension. I sighed. They came to their senses quickly after my return... Not so much as to be eager to get acquainted or not to be timid about my attention, of course, but... And how could they be otherwise, when word was slowly and carefully spreading through the town, that Nightmare was apologizing, and was not staying with some unknown witch-librarian, but with Rarity, not known for her outstanding courage and strength of nerve. But the havoc at “Carousel” has not gone unnoticed either, and now there were condemning overtones in the chatter: "Rar took her in, but she!..” You're getting too relaxed now, colorful bastards! Is it the time to kill someone? “Howdy, Night!” A pink face with a grin from ear to ear appeared right in front of my eyes like a screamer, causing me to recoil reflexively. “Pinkie!..” I swallowed a curse, straightening my ears hurriedly, that were pressed to my head. And right in the middle of the street!.. “He-he!” She covered her mouth with a hoof. “Smile, Night! Such a beautiful day! Come on, boop!” Earthpony suddenly leaned forward and weakly pressed my nose with a hoof, giggling afterwards. “Pinkie!..” I tried to stay with an upset look on my face, but couldn't hold it and smiled reflexively. “Now it’s better!” The pleased mare shook her curls and, standing aside and allowing me to go further, started to jump nearby. Frozen bystanders followed us with crazed gazes. “And why did you do that?” I asked, returning my usual look on the face after some time. “You don't smile much.” Pinkie answered somewhat thoughtfully, with a bit of sorrow. “I just wanted to cheer you up a bit.” “Not the best method.” “Sorry-sorry, please! I know you don't like when someone jumps at you, but... It came out by itself...” The pink pony drooped. Pinkie... “Fine...” I waved away in thought. “So, what are you doing here? Or you are just to greet?” “To greet! And to speak a little! And to cheer you up! And!.. And wa-arn!” Pinkie suddenly started to whisper in a scary tone, looking around conspiratorially “You're in danger!” What?.. “Which one?” “I don't know.” Pinkie darkened a little and answered with her usual voice. “Just head started to ache, and the tail went like “tug, tug”! And teeth are in pain! I was doubtful, but then the hind hooves started to itch so-o much - and everything became clear!” A-a... Yeah... I rubbed my forehead with a little bit of loss. “I think it can be because of Rainbow.” Earthpony sighed. “She really-really does not like you...” O-o, these are her problems. But I’ll definitely have to go along with her... “Live brightly, die young”, yeah, painted scum?.. “I tried to tell about you, that you're not like this, but very-very different! But she only says, that you're cheating on everypony and only feigning to be good, meanwhile planning evil plans at night...” Mare waved away hopelessly. “O, by the way, what are you planning?” Immediately becoming joyful, she stared at me with unfeigned interest. “If I could create plans instead of rushing to do stupid things at the same moment.. No, I’m not planning.” I chuckled sadly. “I’ll definitely say it to her that you're not planning! She will muse!” Yeah, of course. Sometimes you're so naive, Pinkie - I don't even know... The conversation somehow died down on its own, and we walked in silence for a while. Where were we going, by the way? “Pinkie, where are you heading to?” “On a reconnaissance mission!” She answered with a scary whisper and narrowed her eyes mysteriously. “Well, looking for a better way to party at home.” Earthpony specified, smiling at my clear surprised face. “It’s Cold Flower's birthday tomorrow, and I!..” In the next couple of minutes I got the full information that said Cold Flower came to Ponyville from Hoofington, lives alone, is dating Razorback and plans to marry him soon, is a glassblower by profession, enjoys making all kinds of ornaments out of glass, likes dough nuts with condensed milk and meringue cakes... “Okay, Pinkie, I'm going home that way." I nodded at the nearly missed familiar turning, managing to slow down the verbal flow enough to have time to insert a sentence. “A?.. Oh, yes! I talked your ear off a bit, didn't I?” Pinkie answered with a bit of apologizing tone. “Goodbye-goodbye, Night! Hope to see ya soon!” The mare waved goodbye and started to jump onward, humming some tune to herself. I didn't say goodbye in return. I just stared into nothing wordlessly. What did I just say? Home?!.. ... How long have I been here? Early July was nine days, I went to the woods then from the seventeenth to the eighteenth, then moved out to Rar... So, if I'm not mistaken... Fortieth day today. I lost my already uncertain stride. Fortieth day obit - it’s what it called, isn't?.. The day when people traditionally gather to commemorate the deceased. My parents, relatives, friends... Surely they will go to the cemetery, to my grave, they will put fresh flowers... They will drink to my memory, say warm words that are meant more for the living than the dead... And none of them will ever know that I am alive. And what difference does it make if we'll never meet again? And I don't even remember any of them, either by face or name... There, among them, is my home. Was my home. The real one, not this ridiculous sham! “S-shit...” I hissed angrily and doomfully, rubbing my eyes with my wrist, trying to get rid of the burning. The world around me played bright and saturated colors, as if screaming about its... unreality, toyishness. But here’s the thing - I don't have other life. There is this one, in the toy world, in the body of a plush horse with a horn and wings, which is feared and hated by, with few exceptions, everyone around. Who is like a bone in the throat of this world with her darkness. “Going home”, yeah? Not in this world, where we mutually hate each other... I don't know where I was going - it didn't matter. I didn't even care when I collapsed to the ground from the sudden pain that pierced my entire body. "A wonderful addition to the mood." A dull thought appeared for the moment in the end. ... “Khm-hm...” It seems, that I passed out for a second... It would soon become a habit to regain consciousness to the accompaniment of pain... My whole body was twisting and shaking, my withers were throbbing and burning, something smelled lousy... But the bodily pain felt like it was on the back burner: it wasn't just my body that was hurting. “It’s not your home! You don't belong here!” The thought was beating in my head - and it was echoed by throbbing flashes of pain. The piercing sense of longing made me want to cry. Meanwhile, there were murmurs all around me, but I couldn't make out the words, the clattering of many hooves... “N-nightmare, are you al-lright?..” I barely heard a shy and quiet voice right before me. “No.” I cut it off with a whisper and indifference. I struggled to lift my eyelids and met a gaze of the little unicorn's familiar light green eyes. “I... D-do you want me to call Rarity?” Sweetie said with her ears flattened, a little afraid. “Don't." I don't need anyone. I struggled to my feet, shaking, feeling the occasional nasty cramp run through the body. I glanced at the hushed crowd, that spread out. The sound of one voice still rang out over the road, that of Fluttershy, looming over Dash, who was cowering beneath the furious rush of the angered pegasus. So that's who... For some reason there was no anger. There was nothing - just a wistful, indifferent apathy. I didn't want to see anyone. Especially something colored and bright. Fuck this all... I, limping, silently strode away, accompanied by whispers and glances of the toy horses, that were hurriedly leaving my way. I want to get shit faced. Fucking he-ell, it's so sickening...
40. Home is Where...“Fucking water.” I glanced at the second - and last - empty bottle of apple cider. It wasn't as hard as the cider I've used to get rid of my nightmares - that one was one hell of a drink... Magical effort, a stiff neck, a nasty burning in my horn, and a ceramic bottle floats in front of me instead of a glass bottle. Yes, I polished off the nasty melancholy apathy with a walk through the memory of Nightmare Moon and with a lewd, so to speak, drink - it had - you wouldn't believe it - 4-5 percent of alcohol... For an alicorn, even two and a half liters of this swill is water. But the memory, unexpectedly, on the contrary, helped me come to my senses a little. Maybe it was the fact that I did not go into the darkness itself - I do not know... It did not tear my soul and was not shocking as usual - it... I just looked at it all - and smiled wistfully to myself: it was lousy, bitter and lonely here and "outside". Or maybe I’ve managed to get used to it... I shook the container back and forth thoughtfully in front of my eyes and sent it flying with a short jolt. A few seconds later there was a quiet "plop" from below - the bottle has reached its target. I fluffed up the "pillow," fidgeting, making myself comfortable. The view from here, and the situation itself, should have been fascinating, I suppose, but... there were no emotions. Not a single one. The only thing I wanted is to lay here and no one to disturb me. And you know, laying on water vapor was surprisingly good - for some reason, it didn't bother much. Comfortable, hard to reach - nice thing. Nothing else matters. Honestly, I don't even remember how did I come here. I wanted solitude, saw a cloud - and took off. Didn't even think of what, how... Otherwise I wouldn't have climbed to such a height! I rolled over onto my back and reclined, spreading wings and covering eyes from the blinding Sun. Nice. And the horn doesn't stick into anything... No wonder pegasi are so into sleeping on the clouds - or even building homes out of them. Home... How did I even say that? A business trip may be longer than my current life here - and already "home"? And in reference to Rarity's “Carousel”, where I've been living for barely more than a week! On the other hand... From a business trip, from an adventure there’s a place to return to. You can live in a hotel for a year, but there would be ticking timer in your head: “I’ll be home in...” But here - it's over. There’s nowhere to return to. Even if I kill myself and miraculously get back to my world, it would still be a different life, not the one, where only a grave in the cemetery is left, and people, for whom I would be some unknown stranger... I sighed wistfully and curled up on my side, covering my head with my wing. It’s better to grieve like that... The memory of my homeland, already hollow, was gradually blurring, fading into the background. At times it suddenly seemed unreal... Especially in those moments, when I managed to feel at home here. When we cooked in the kitchen with Rarity and chatted about useless things, about anything and everything, when Sweetie, even if shyly for now, asked me to help draw attention of her infatuated sister - and then laughed, when she saw desperately kicking and terribly indignant Rar, floating down the hallway in the cloud of my magic... Don't overstay there! Will she sit there hungry with her sketches until the evening? I smiled against my will. Rarity has literally done everything in her power to keep me from feeling like I was a guest in her house in contrast to Twilight.. The snow-white, graceful unicorn, who waves money away, who takes other people's troubles to heart and always tries to help, who likes to complicate and dramatize sometimes - I think, in order to give herself an excuse to forget her diet and eat her beloved ice cream - became my friend in just a week under one roof. Not a close acquaintance, not a buddy, but just like that... And she made her home my... home. A place, where not only you sleep and eat, but also where you are always welcome. Where you can always return to. Rar was already making plans for where to move the workshop, so that I could have a full room... “She's worried about that, no doubt.” A sudden thought came to me. Sweetie has seen it all, and she's probably told her sister all about it, but you wouldn't find me here, if... “N-nightmare, I... Would you mind, if...” I almost fall off the cloud from a quiet, uncertain voice behind my back. Fluttershy?!.. She, to me?!... “Join along, of course.” Hesitating, I replied a bit dazedly, rolling onto my belly and moving aside. “How is Rarity doing, is she really nervous?” “She's very worried about you." The pegasus said quietly from under her mane, perching on the edge of the cloud further away from me. “Can you fly to her and say that everything is fine? Just... I just had to be alone.” “Well, if... I could, but, m-m... Of course if it's a necessity, only...” Flutty whispered from under her mane in quiet panic for some reason. “What happened?” “If it's possible, I... I'd like to help y-you first..." She tried to become invisible as possible under my wary gaze. Her mane slid a little to the side in the wind, and it was only now, that I noticed a bag with the medical red cross on it. “It’ll heal up by itself.” I waved away indifferently. “Where’s Rarity now?” “D-down. I-I mean, well, on the lake's shore, here...” Could you say that first?.. I got up, wincing from the wearing, aching pain, that ran down my back, and, not giving myself time on thoughts or looks, I pushed off with my hind legs, stepping into the void and opening my wings. The rush of air hit my face like a dense pillow, forcing me to press ears against my head, stomach bumped into my wings I flapped my wings, leveling myself, and only now allowed myself to look around. Holy shit, it's more than a hundred meters down!.. Mother, help me... The lake below would fit on a hoof, I could see trees rather by their shadows, the toy houses of Ponyville were a multicolored scattering just to the side... I swallowed the lump in my throat. Wake up, take a good grip! I stretched out my hind legs, that wanted to press against my belly, leveled out the growing list with a couple of flaps of my wings... I barely held on, when a gust of wind hit my side. Leveled out again. I felt a sweat, forming on my forehead, ignoring a steady stream of cool incoming air. Da-amn i-it... The good thing is that my pony eyes don't care about this mess, and I can see everything normally... Hanging in a downward left turn and occasionally compensating lists, that moved back and forth, and gusts of wind, I didn't notice, how I descended with nervous tension and a rumbling heart in my temples, the ground started to flash very close beneath my feet. Now! Hit the breaks!!! And!.. The surface hit my hind legs, I extinguished my speed with a couple of leaps, and, settling where I stood, right on the grass, only now finally exhaled. Oh, fuck... What a shame if I’d turn gray after that! You know, I’m a young mare - only a thousand years old, in the prime of life! And gray!.. Wouldn't find a husband in an eternity!.. I, laughing hysterically, fell onto the grass. “Nightmare, are you alright? Is everything okay?..” Rarity appeared nearby literally from nowhere. “E... Everything is f-fine... Ph-h-h!.. Oh... Rarity-y...” I panted in answer, finishing laughing a bit and dashing the tears away with an elbow, trying to erase the idiotic smile from my face, but to no avail. “I, if... H-h!.. You remember, fly w-worse than a student - and s-such a height...” “Nightmare...” Rar tried to feign dissatisfaction, knitting brows together, but didn't make it in time: wings flapped a few times - Fluttershy landed nearby. “N-nightmare, are you alright?” She quietly repeated the unicorn's recent question. “Everything is fine, thanks.” I answered coherently as I recovered myself. I started to get on my feet, but was softly and cautiously stopped by a wing. “B-but you're wounded! I... If allowed, of course... Could... Well... Help you...” Somewhat determined beginning immediately vaporized into the air under my gaze. Even the wing did so. What a shame: soft, pleasant... “Oh, that would be very helpful, dear Fluttershy. Let me help you!..” Rarity supported the pegasus in a moment, looking at me with a harsh gaze. “It almost doesn't hurt...” “Nighty, don't make things up, for Celestia’s sake! Burn and electrical injury - “almost doesn't hurt”?.. Lay still, dear, please!” What a bunch of mother hens!.. Oh God, what a fucking big deal - got electrocuted. By the way, how? I remember Dash, it came from above... A lightning? Not bad ...And, by the way, not a pathetic lightning, since it knocked out an alicorn, which, like pegasi, has a natural resistance to discharges of electricity - they have to fly and fight the thunderclouds. Considering that I almost don't feel the p... Aah, s-s-s-s! The skin on my withers burned sharply, making me twitch involuntarily. However, the pain and burning were quickly replaced by the pleasant viscous coolness of some ointment, applied to the wound with surprisingly accurate and precise movements of a hoof. The final touch was a big cold sheet of something, as if I had been given a cool compress. “Come to me t-tomorrow during lunch, please, if you can. I’ll c-check everything and anoint it again.” Suddenly, Flutty said in almost command tone. Come to you? Hah, I have been trying this whole week!.. “Definitely. Thank you very much, Fluttershy. And to you, Rar, thanks.” I scooped up the squeaking ponies with magic, put them next to me, and embraced them both, covering the yellow and white backs with my wings. “Oh...” “Nightmare! Mane!!!” Ya-ay, so cool!.. Won't let you go anywhere now!.. The ponies weren't in any particular hurry, though, and after a brief stupor, they oriented themselves and snuggled closer to me. M-m-m... No, man, ponies are awesome cuddly creatures! The mood, already somewhat restored to normal during the time of solitude, was now perceptibly rising. Such cute creatures, ponies... And not all of them hate one black-toothed alicorn - there are some who - though I don't know why - appreciate me, right? I thought about it already, that I'd have to live here now, and I didn't have much choice... Even so, it’s still not my home. But maybe someday, thanks to ponies like this... “Nightmare, dear, are you alright?” Rarity interrupted my thoughts, shivering a bit and getting comfortable under my huge wing. “I guess...” I replied, shaking my head. “I just... Had to ponder a bit.” “Ponder over what, if you would forgive my incessant inquisitiveness?” “Over myself and my place in this world... that isn't particularly happy about me.” I replied reluctantly. “N-nightmare, this... Sorry...” Came a whisper from under the other wing. “For what?” “For... For Rainbow. She's my friend, and... I couldn't persuade her, that you're... Well...” Already shaking quiet voice finally turned into almost inaudible rustle. “Don't beat yourself up, dear!” Rarity insisted to the pegasus. “I’m sure you did everything you could, and furthermore cannot be held responsible for such blatant and outrageous behavior of Rainbow Dash! Just like that - hit a pony with lightning in the middle of a street! Poor Nightmare! This is completely unacceptable!” The indignant unicorn hit the ground with her hoof in anger. “When Sweetie told me everything, I was so worried! I ran as fast as I could, hoping to find you here, just to... just to be near you." She nuzzled up to my neck gently. "But, to my horror, there was no one here! Oh... Thanks Celestia, I soon met Fluttershy, who, like a true friend and a true Element of Kindness...” Under the other wing there was a quiet squeak of embarrassment. “...Was looking for you here too, to help and support you in your time of need! Flutty, thank you so much!” Rarity looked up from behind me and nodded appreciatively at the crimson pegasus, causing me to smile for a moment. “And I'll talk to Dash about her monstrous behavior for sure!” She drew a line with palpable threat in her voice, making herself comfortable under my wing once again. “And Nightmare... I’m happy that you're alright.” “Sorry if I made you nervous.” I sighed quietly. Who am I to you to make you nervous?.. The conversation fell silent, and I closed my eyes and enjoyed the peace for some time. The smell of grass and flowers, the light wind, rustling in the branches and leaves, the humming and rattling of insects, the trills of birds... The warmth of a pair of little ponies, laying next to me, warming rather my soul than my body. How much I miss it sometimes, though... This feeling, that you're not a stranger here and you're welcome... That you're... at home?.. “Hey... How did you even find me? And what happened... Well... In general?” I made an indefinite gesture and did it more out of an attempt to change the subject than out of real interest. “Well..." The unicorn took the floor, expectantly. "I didn't know where to look for you. You like to come here, but when you weren't here, I... At first I thought you've gone into the woods, like that time... I was so scared then..." The mare shivered, as if trying to wrap herself around my wing, and snuggled closer to me. Damn it... It’s a mess if I’m there... “I was about to panic completely, but then something fell into the lake with a loud splash. I looked around, but I didn't see anyone nearby... And that's when I turned my attention to the cloud over the lake. Jumping at the chance, that you might have gone private with heavy thoughts exactly there, I jerked my head back to Ponyville, hoping to see a concerned pegasus, who would grant a poor lady her humble request. And fate brought me to Fluttershy, who also happened to be rushing here in hopes of helping you.” Damn, I... “Thank you." I hugged the ponies tightly again, and, sighing, put my wings away and stood up a little hastily to not get emotional accidentally. Sincere care and concern suddenly touched me deeply... The mares also rose to their feet. Fluttershy - with a touching clumsiness of embarrassment, Rarity - with the grace of a cat. I almost stared... “Let's go?” I nodded invitingly in the direction of the town, and, letting the ponies move forward, I joined them to the side, giving Flutty a place in the middle. So she wouldn't run away, heh... “This is how we found you..." The unicorn continued the interrupted conversation. “But I know what happened only by Sweetie's story.” She shook her head negatively in response to my questioning look. “Fluttershy, honey, you were there, weren't you?” “Well, yeah... It just happened..." She nodded uncertainly, as if apologizing. “Have you talked to Dash?” I specified, remembering - if I’m correct - seeing them together, when the pause was getting really long. “Oh...” Flutty lowered eyes, blushing rapidly and laying back her ears. “I... I didn't want to raise my tone at her at all and... And behave so badly!.. B-but Rainbow... It’s not right - you can't take your bad mood out on other ponies! Even if you don't like them at all!” The indignation in Fluttershy clearly outweighed the embarrassment and uncertainty. “Dash is extremely hostile to you, Nightmare, but doing something like that?..” Rar shook her head. “What got into her?” “She was pulled out of the complex flying elements competition this morning due to a, well... still healing injury, if I understood everything correctly... And there, um... from what I heard, someone from the panel of judges was supposed to be from... “Wonderbolts”... And Rainbow, she's, well...” “And Dash has been dreaming of joining their ranks since she was a filly." Rarity interjected, noticing, that her friend's social store was beginning to wane. “And quite rightly believes, that for this you have to shine and be noticeable! You can't get into high society - even pegasi society - just by an accident! Oh... Don't think I approve of her supremely ugly act, but... I guess I can understand what motivated her. It was The Chance!” The unicorn finished her speech with a hoof to her chest, especially emphasizing the last word. “Yeah, a chance... For the head of Nightmare Moon herself, maybe they could have accepted her..." I chuckled. “Oh!..” “Nightmare! What are you talking, dear? Oh... Rainbow acted horribly, but she would never!..” “Joking. In the old style.” I was in a hurry to correct the situation when I met the frightened look on the snowy pony's face. Damn, what was wrong this time?.. “Nightmare, please, don't scare everyone like that again! Flutty, are you alright?” “...!” She squeaked softly from under her mane. Even I couldn't hear what, but Rar seemed satisfied with that and relaxed a little. “I’ll try to.” I grumbled reluctantly in answer. Damn, again! A-a, fine... So, what about the situation? Our living LGBT symbol just wanted to scratch her bad mood on me, didn't she? No, she's certainly not going to die of her own free will... ... The bell rang familiarly, and I paused as I crossed the threshold, wiping my hooves on the rug. Rarity, while Fluttershy was distracted by the complaints of some bird that flew up to us, asked me to somehow unobtrusively evaporate into the sunset and let her talk to Flutty alone, so that she would stop squirming and fidgeting so blatantly. I admittedly didn't notice much - she seemed to be acting as usual - but I respected my friend's request. I suspect, that what Rar wanted to talk to our timid pegasus about was just me... I slowed down, waited for the conversation to start, and quietly slipped off in the direction of “Carousel”. I wonder, of course, what it was all about... “Hello, Nightmare!” I was brought back to reality by Sweetie's low voice, who must have come out at the sound of the bell. “Are you... Are you alright?” “More or less. Hello.” “It’s good.” Filly smiled shyly. “M, Applejack came here recently, said, that she would wait for you. And I just wanted to give her some tea...” “Thanks, you're doing great. You can, ehm, go, if you want to - I can figure the tea part out myself, okay?” I said swiftly. No, she is supposed to be able to handle the tea... but I didn't want to find out. The little unicorn's bad luck, once she was in the kitchen, was off the charts immediately. Maybe she was cursed or something... Everything that could go wrong with her went wrong! Anyways, she was trusted to cook and wash dishes by Rar only in the most exceptional cases, and I, having seen the consequences, agreed with her on that point. Heck with it... “Okay...” Sweetie prolonged with disbelief. “Then I’m going for a walk. Tell it to Rarity, okay?” On receiving my nod, the filly disappeared at a brisk trot out the door. The bell rang. So, Applejack... “Greetings.” I nodded to the orange mare as I entered the kitchen. “Tea?” “Greetings." She echoed, studying me with an attentive, thoughtful gaze. “Nah, I've come for a couple of words...” “As you wish.” I made sure there was still water in the kettle, put it on the heater. You don't want it, but I do. I'll drink it myself. “I understand it, of course, you didn't have time for it - Sweetie told me a lot of stories already.” The farmer nodded somewhat towards the front door. “But...” “Where's my money.” I nodded. “How much?” I counted out the amount, slammed the stack of coins onto the table, and pondered. Wait... “Three bottles.” The interlocutor noticed my stupor. “Three? I thought I've grabbed only two...” “Am I going to lie to you?” AJ chuckled. “Who knows?” I shrugged with my wings in answer. “Your “Loyalty” can betray others, and absolutely successfully...” “Loyalty? Ya ‘bout Dash? Betray?!” The farmer was quite surprised, not even remembering to be indignant at my suspicions. “Do you know Scootaloo? Big fan of Rainbow, she was her friend, learned to fly from her. And when she befriended me - this is when “Loyalty” became short of loyalty. Sent the little one away with the "it's her or me" message. And that was it: no study, no friendship.” “Dam’... Rotten h-hay...” She scratched her hat with a loss. “That's why our Rainbow isn't herself nowadays: thinkin’ much, gloom, snapping at everypony, telling dirty things 'bout you all out... I’ll talk to her sometime. And yeah... Forgive her for today's, would ya? She's a good pony, just... Took a heavy beating, didn't ya?” I remembered today's "walk" from memory, and involuntarily shivered. “I've had worse.” “In the woods?... Yeah... Fine...” AJ muttered a little disappointed when she met my gaze. She raked the money from the table and got up a little hastily, about to leave, but froze, throwing a begging look at me: “Hey, Nightmare... I know you can forgive... Just don't kick the crap out of her in revenge, would ya? I promise I'll talk to her properly, so that she won't think any more silly thoughts!” “You can try to.” I moved my wing phlegmatically. “You can forgive”, yeah?.. Strange note... But I suspect, that, in principle, she only has thoughts that are either stupid or not at all. Aren't you afraid to make such promises? “If I screw up, you can hold me to account!” Applejack scowled. The kettle on the stove howled thinly and wistfully on one note. “Look for yourself." I moved a wing again. “Are you staying for tea or?...” “Nah, thanks. Have to run.” The earth pony shook her head gloomily. “Catch ya. Say hello to Rarity for me.” “Definitely.” Clatter, ring of the bell. “Stop whining already.” I chuckled and pulled the kettle off the heater. I grabbed a tea bowl, that was filled with tea during the conversation, poured boiling water over it, and carefully sniffed the steam that curled over it. M-m... I put the lid on - let it brew - went back to the table, took my purse out of my bag again. After thinking, took out a pencil with a recently purchased large and beautiful notebook. I was tallying up the balance there at my leisure... “Nee-ed mo-ore go-old!” Half a minute later, I stated in a voice as creepy as I could as I studied the contents of the wallet and the records. There wasn't much left at all. I put the money back, mechanically turned over the page of my notebook, became happy for a moment, that I found such a large and handy one, about A-five format, thoughtfully tapped the tip of my pencil on the pristine blank page. Yes, if I had paid for the whole accommodation and food myself, it would have been enough for three days... Tia, as I remember, promised to subsidize, but in light of her oppressive silence... Sighing, I got rid of the lid on the bowl and, picking it up to the pencil, crawling on the paper, thoughtfully took a sip of tea. It looks like my pictures in dresses on the pages of fashion magazines will appear soon, if this continues to go on. Well, not magazines for lonely stallions, at least - that's not bad already... The imagination helpfully, in detail, drew Nightmare Moon, looking at the reader from the cover with a promisingly playful look from under the half-closed eyelids, decorated with long lashes, and sensually licking her lips. Wings spread out to the sides, mane spread out on the pillow, between the back legs, draped in snow-white thigh-highs, a pair of buds, tugging invitingly, and a little lower, damply glistening with desire... “Fu-uck!..” I shook my head furiously, feeling my cheeks and ears burning, my heart pounding, my wings sticking out and going dumb sweetly, and a warm, languid heaviness stirring in the lower part of my belly. The thought that it was not some abstract Nightmare, but me, lying in this position and in this "outfit," licking my lips languidly and showing myself to all comers, gave me a feverish feeling. And the front legs are modestly folded at the chest, contrasting with the invitingly extended hind ones... “D... D-damn it!” Shook my head again desperately, and with difficulty swallowing the lump in my throat, I let out in a hushed voice, realizing, that in another moment of reflection I suddenly did not understand whether I wanted to look at this cover... or pose for it...!. Feel all these stares!.. Attention!.. Adoration!... I bit the hoof till my teeth hurt. How the hell could I have thought of such a thing? I’m!.. That is!.. I shut my eyes tightly, took a few deep breaths. Oh, fuck... Something... I need a shower, yeah... Cooler... I opened my eyes, calming down a bit... “Fucking he-ell!..” I exhaled in frustration, as I lowered my gaze to the table and felt my pulse quickens and my cheeks redden again. On a recently blank sheet of paper was a detailed picture of a figment of my imagination. A full-length self-portrait, damn it!.. In all its natural glory... Fuck, when did I ever?.. Something banged in the hallway. Swallowing a lump, that instantly rose in my throat again, I hurriedly slammed the notebook and hurriedly shoved it back into place along with a pencil. My heart rattled in my temples. Wait... There was no bell. What is?.. Opal peeked cautiously into the kitchen, around the corner from the hallway. She spotted me, ruffled her fur, and turned back in a hurry. Another bang, a silence has fallen. “I'll fucking kill you, slouching bastard." I said in a hoarse voice, feeling the tension releases itself and goosebumps marching down my spine. I finished the cold tea in one gulp, cursed with feeling, emptied the old brew, poured the fresh one... “Damn it, damn it!” Only a drop made it out of the kettle - it was empty, shit! I thought there was enough for at least two... I looked at the clock. It sucks... I lost the reality for half an hour - and did not even notice it! I was in a state of prostration, when I tried to pour some water from the kettle, sniffed and rolled eyes. Retard. In fact, I wish I had a thermoelectric pot for four or something like that liters... It’s so stupid to heat it again and again... I got up carefully from my seat, feeling irritated, that my back legs were a little weak and my slightly numb wings were spreading out to the sides. I glanced at the seat - ph-e-ew, it's dry... I put the kettle under the stream of water and wondered. There is a problem with the body. And I can swear to you - I cannot think of something to fix it. The body seems so hungry after a thousand years of loneliness, and now it wants it. And it reminded me of it, albeit infrequently, as soon as there was a suitable opportunity! And I, even leaving out the question of potential partners, was stupidly afraid to do something about it. Get your hoof and let’s go, one would think, but... Even this causes inner disgust. Am I going to enjoy it like a mare? It was a blow to... to the past, to my old personality, to yet another bridge, linking me to home, finally! Yes, it was stupid, silly, strange, senseless and merciless, but I could not change my mind: I was afraid to take this step, and that's it! As if to finally agree and come to terms with... changes, I don't know... And for now it’s me, quietly talking about it to myself. And with partners it turned out to be even worse than I thought at first, when I first started catching myself looking and thinking about stallions... Oh, damn me... I went back to the table and sat down at it, hypnotizing the kettle, crackling on the heater, with my eyes. Mares, as I found out, had a much weaker effect on my body, but I liked them... and I didn't like them at the same time. The same goes with stallions. Both, when approached in a certain way, were exhilarating... and at the same time, aroused an inner protest. I can understand with stallions, but the ideas about mares, as it turned out, made me feel... disgusting and like a fallen lesbian?.. Nightmare's twist, as sure as a gun ...Being straight by nature, Nightmare - or rather, her part of our consciousness, if there is any point in sorting out what is whose now - was warming up because of stallions, causing displeasure to my part of it. With the mares it was the other way around: my half felt more or less good about it, but the Nightmare's part was cringing with dislike. Except that "me" was more "less": the human girls somehow never came into my sight, and the four-legged horses were of little interest in this regard. But there were plenty of stallions around, and the Nightmare's part was happy to make stand on them. Stand with folded front legs and with the tail moved to the side, damn it... Ah, what a... Abyss damned me... The kettle whimpered longingly, forcing me to rise with a sigh. What's this tea to me now? I need something stronger... ... “I’m home!” Rarity's melodious voice announced her arrival at the same time as the bell rang. I hummed, and put the long-empty bowl on the table, which I twisted mechanically in front of my ass under complicated and sad thoughts, under “my own, mare’s things”. At last there would be a reason to distract from all this, because it all started... A-a... “Are you here, Nightmare?” The unicorn asked semi-confidently as she peered into the kitchen. “Yep.” I saluted her with a hoof. “Sweetie has gone to a walk - asked me to say to tell you. And also hi from Applejack.” “Thanks.” She smiled with the edges of her lips. “Please, put the kettle on, would you?” I nodded silently and saw the mare off in the direction of the stairs, reluctantly got up, grabbed the kettle, and put it under the stream of water. Soon it was bubbling quietly and crackling with drops of water on the heater. “Well, how are you, dear? For you it wasn't the best day, I guess...” Rarity entered the kitchen, bringing with her the subtle scent of floral soap. “I feel nothing.” I waved away half-heartedly. “You wouldn't believe it, but your painted one with her tricks almost didn't even anger me for some reason. I had a thought, that a lightning would be very fitting to my mood right now...” “What happened, Nighty? Something bothers you? I think you noted about your thoughts of your place in the world? Thanks.” With an appreciative nod, the unicorn accepted the tea, placed in front of her. “Yep, and about this as well...” I mechanically arranged myself opposite her. Except that it's not for other people's ears. Not even for yours, Ice cream, though I think you could understand me - or at least try to... “Something very personal, isn't?” With a touch of disappointment in her voice, Rar correctly interpreted one-word answer. “I'm sorry if I reminded you of something... Just know, that you can rely on me if the need arises.” “Thanks.” My heart ached. Maybe I'd tell you someday, Ice cream, but... Why and for what purpose would I do it now? No one wants it for sure. And neither do I. “How badly does it hurt?” Meanwhile, Rarity stood up from the table and came over to me to examine my back. Well... It stings a little, but because of that thing with the ointment, I almost don't notice it. It only pulls at the fur, damn it...” “Seemingly, there wasn't something really bad. Though Sweetie did mention that you fell after the blow... Oh, my dear, how strong it was to hurt you, an alicorn!” “And after that, you're still going to deny the idea of giving the “Wonderbolts” leadership my head as payment for joining?” I laughed a bit. “Nightmare!..” The unicorn gave me a look of utter indignation. “My lips are sealed.” I raised my front legs as a sign of surrender and, unable to stand it, burst out laughing. “You're unbearable!” The snow-white pony rolled her eyes, turning away and heading back to her seat at the table. We drank tea in silence for a while. Or rather, Rar drank, while I pondered painfully: should I keep her company and pour myself another one, or have I had enough? “Oh...” The suddenly darkened unicorn put her tea aside. “I just realized you won't be able to try on the first dress yet! I mean, it still needs a little work, but I'll finish it tomorrow. Oh, it's gorgeous! And it will go so well with your fur! And the stone trim is the color of your eyes!..” “Won't be able to?” Now I understand why. But if I don't slow her down now, she's going to kill me with stories about styles and all sorts of design features... “Your wound...” Rar sighed. “I don't think you'll be comfortable and nicely wearing anything until it's healed. And, by the way, take your bags off, please, and try not to wear them yet either. The back strap doesn't get on the wound, but it's very close and could cause irritation or chafe! Let me help you. “ The mare lit her horn before I could object and unfastened my breast belt buckle with a masterful manipulation, instantly pulled my "equipment" off me, carefully placing it on the side of the table. The spine of a notebook crawled out of the unzipped bag and a pencil rolled out onto the table, only to be caught by a blue cloud of magic and moved back to the notebook. “And what was that?” “A little bit of care." Rarity smiled, but, darkening, sighed in response to my dissatisfied look: “Sorry if I let myself go too far, Nightmare.” “A-a...” I waved away. “You've allowed yourself so much in all those fittings, that you can hardly humiliate me, an alicorn, sinister Nightmare Moon, any more than you already had. Well, unless you dress me up in this and make me wear it for the spectacle-hungry crowd of laborers and farmers!” I answered in a slightly whining tone of a wounded and disgraced aristocrat, hiding my face behind my wing. However, with the accepting of the fact, that I'm an alicorn, and I've spent some time in the skin of a Princess - even though it had been Luna - it's not far from the truth... As well as the "aristocrat" thing, and the "disgraced" thing, with all those damned dresses... “Nightmare, dear...” The unicorn prolonged with a half-joking reproach. “First of all, you're not sinister, unless you're trying to be! Or when you're joking..." She added under her breath to herself. “Secondly, although it sounded very natural, but knowing your attitude to the aristocracy ... I'm sorry, but farmers and workers, such as I technically belong to, for example, you obviously like much more! The only thing I believe in here is your unapologetic "THI-IS" to my gorgeous dresses! And I, alas, am completely unable to understand why..." Milliner sighed, summing up. “Do you really don't like them that much? They’re awful? Ugly? Gaudy and disgraceful? Disgusting?..” Rarity suddenly began to dangerously run rampant. Now she'll convince herself of that and run off in tears to destroy her "terrifying" creations... “It’s not about them, but about me...” I mumbled, causing her to lose her mind and let me speak with a slight flash in front of her eyes. “Really?..” She blinked confusedly. “You mean they're not ugly or horrible or disgusting, are they?” “I do.” I sighed. “Then why?!.. I tried so hard to make them fit you perfectly! For you to be like a real... Princess in them! The Queen of the Beauty! I even used more durable and sturdy fabrics to add to their practicality where it was possible! Nighty, what have I done wrong?!..” “I... Don’t like dresses - that’s all.” I panted shyly, feeling like a monster. “Not these, but in general. Well, in and of themselves!” “But you offered that yourself...” Designer said with a loss. “I did. Because trashing the house and bruising the one, who took me, and owing for it is the same hated by me thing as the dresses." I muttered. "Then I won't finish anything." Rar said sullenly. “I'm not going to take advantage of my friend's difficult situation! And you don't owe me anything!” You're out of your mind, my friend... “Are you trying to insult me? I'm not going to take advantage of my friend's situation either, you know!” We looked at each other in silence for a few seconds. “And you... you are ready to do it for... For me?” The unicorn shyly and suddenly asked, hiding her gaze. “And for myself as well. I don’t like to owe someone.” I chuckled a bit gloomily. “Well, then... then I'll try to make these dresses so incredible you won't want to take them off!” Lifting her gaze with a smile, Rarity's eyes flashed a little maniacally. I cautiously stepped back. Oh, man. Something's coming... “And by the way, Nightmare... Since you agree to go on - what cut shape did you choose for the stones on the third dress? Remember when I drew the options?” Huh? Oh, shit, that's right, I promised to look at it... Hesitating with the answer, I didn't immediately notice how the milliner picked up my notebook and started going through it quickly. Ehm?.. Oh, yeah, she was sketching in it - nothing else was under her han... damn it! The drawing!!! “Look, let's loo... k... afterwards..." I tried to object, but I was too late: the pages had already stopped running, and the unicorn's muzzle and ears were blazing crimson. Fucking shi-it... “Y-yeah-yeah, of c-course...” She nodded with a twisting look as she hurriedly slammed the notebook shut and put it aside. Fuck. ... Oh! Beautiful! I turned off the water and, after standing like that for a few seconds, I magically picked up a couple of towels at once. One on the left, one on the right, and let’s go! I'm practicing my separate control of different objects at one time a little. It’s hard, damn it! It was easier to make different movements with my hands at the same time, but it's hard to not get confused there, too... Head... Yeah! Mane... Neck... Wrap towels around front legs, up-do-own, up-do-own... Back... Chest and the frontal part of the belly... Sides... Synchronously, back and fo-orth... Wings, my beloved... A-ah... Croup... Hind legs, outside... Tail... Painful pause, ears pressed reflexively. I sigh through my teeth, inner thighs, lower abdomen, under my tail, trying to push as lightly as possible. Damn it... After... today's thing, I confess, I wondered under the shower about that "get your hoof and let’s go" thing... But the sizzling and languid sensation of the first touch instantly removed any resolve to continue and go further. Hell, I know that I can't get away from my current... constructive peculiarities, that I still have to get used to them somehow, and... Man, I can't do this at all! It's so, I don't know... Unnatural! Not the way it should be! Not right! I!.. A-a, fucking hell... And what should I do, huh?.. Tough shit... All I could do was turn on the colder water to come to my senses and try to forget about this, about my thoughts, and about my stupidity with the fucking drawing... I’m so dumb, that I drew such shit, and then managed to light it up! I forgot all about Rar’s sketches... Why didn't I just burn it to ashes, huh? And what's Rar thinking about now, when she still acts as usual? Shit, shit!.. I just cooled down a bit and calmed down... That's it! No more of these thoughts for today. No more, fucking cunt! I snorted unhappily, threw off the towels, and climbed out of the bathroom, tapping my hooves on the tiles. Done, the horse has been washed. I chuckled involuntarily. I looked in the mirror, grimaced, wiped with one of the towels, rid the shiny surface of the solid gray veil of condensation. Well, my mane and tail were a pair of disheveled, damp sponges as usual, but otherwise - no worse than usual. I looked at the face in the mirror, showed a pile of snow-white fangs, made a face - just to cheer myself up a bit - and laughed. Okay, enough of fooling around. I have been gone in the bathroom already for at least an hour... Yeah, I got lucky with Rarity in this regard, very lucky! She's a bit of a sybarite and likes scale and comfort - otherwise I wouldn't fit in that bathtub. When I remember Twi's boat in the corner of a tiny room... Oh no, heck with it! Make me forget that... And here you have a whole castle! A huge bathtub for an ordinary pony, set in a recess, so that you could splash around and not drown the whole room, and it hasn't been squeezed in a corner, but in the middle, perpendicular to the wall - so you can unfold your wings without a problem. Nice! A huge mirror, shelves filled with batteries of bottles, a large sink. It's a little low for me, but what can you do? And it's not too bad, unlike the toilet... I sighed. That's where the evil is! No, the pony's toilet was smartly designed: it suited my anatomy well, had adequate controls, was equipped with a bidet, which was almost mandatory in Equestria - the only way to find a toilet without one was going to the middle of nowhere - and, in general, was quite comfortable... For a pony that was one and half or two times shorter than me! And my usage of it... Yeah... What an unfortunate turn of events. And even more, damn it... And how much "fun" it was in those days, when I wore the ring on my horn... No, my anatomy - to my surprise - allowed me to reach what I needed to, and the bidet was not for beauty... when I finally remembered about it! “On the forth day the Eagle Eye noticed, that the prison lacks of a wall”, damn it... And before that... I shivered. Gymnastics, God damn it... Noticing, that I've been staring blankly in the mirror for a solid hour, I shook my head, whipping my face with the wet mane and sniffed, hastening to the exit, throwing both towels on the dryer beforehand. “Nightmare, my sister called you, she's downstairs in the store!” Sweetie looked out of her room, having returned from her walk to the evening. “And... Can I brush your hair later?” I hid the smile with a tilt of my head. “If it's not too late. Otherwise, it would have to wait until tomorrow.” “Yay! Okay, thank you!” The filly smiled enthusiastically and disappeared back into her room. Yes, Rar kept me from losing my hum...pony face by periodically doing my hair, so I wouldn't embarrass everyone in public, I guess... How can I live with such a fashionable and neat pony and walk like a scarecrow? I've learned a few things on my own, of course, but it's little things, like combing my hair so it doesn't stick out too much, making a ponytail with a rubber... I can put my tail in a ponytail, too. I grinned briefly. So, anyway, somehow, Sweetie saw it and, unable to resist, rushed to help. Her perfectionist sister wouldn't even let her touch herself, and she could see the chance right in front of her! And, it must be said, the little unicorn was doing quite well, even taking into account the fact, that she was not able to do telekinesis due to age, and worked with teeth and hooves, and with alicorn taller than she is in four or even five times. She was fine, as long as I was lying down... Everyone was happy with the result: Rarity saved time and didn't have to grind her teeth over my "egregious" crimes against appearance, and I walked more or less neatly and saved time, too, instead of moaning in front of the mirror for an hour, trying to get the brush out of my mane again. And Sweetie got an outlet for her bubbling enthusiasm and typical girlish desire to embellish someone, and she was just unspeakably happy, and recently she even thought about a cutie mark of a stylist or hairdresser. Meanwhile, in the store, life was going on in its own, gradually subsiding with the coming evening: Rarity was discussing something with a pony I didn't know, and another pegasus was looking at the dresses and asking the price in a vaguely familiar... uniform? Damn it, I know it! The Royal postal service! Or what’s their name?.. And the pegasus is known for me: “The monochrome one”, from the couple that brought me some time ago the glaive and the Luna's letter about the meeting. With a chuckle at the last thought, I headed towards the delivery pony. It’s probably the reason Rar has summoned me anyway. “Nightmare! A letter for you from the Castle itself!” My appearance did not go unnoticed. I stopped my gaze at Rar. It seemed, that after the drawing... Ah, damn... But no. We never touched on the subject all evening. She looked the same as always, looked the same as always... She made no gestures, facial expressions, or anything else, that could shed some light at her attitude towards what happened, though I did catch a couple of her thoughtful glances... “This worthy pony wished to pass it exclusively to you personally in the hooves!” The boutique owner, meanwhile, confirmed my suspicions with a nod towards the pegasus. The earthpony visitor, with whom Rarity has been chatting, turned pale and flattened her ears at my appearance, stared at coming me with wide-open eyes and swallowed loudly as the white-haired unicorn laughed softly and started to calm her down and tell something to her quietly. The messenger also hesitated for a moment, but she quickly gathered her wits and came closer to me. “Miss Nightmare Moon, you have a message from Her Excellency Princess Mi Amore Cadenza!” “The monochrome one” took the envelope out of the bag with a polished movement, bowing shortly. “I was told to wait for your answer." She added as soon as I took the letter. “Thanks.” I nodded to the mare. “I’ll write it now.” “Let’s go, I’ll regale you with tea. Surely, the flight wasn't easy!” Rarity came to us a little bit upset, if I’ll judge by her look. “But the store... And... Nothing hard, miss! I could just...” The courier tried to fight back. “My last visitor left us rather hastily, and it's evening - and so soon to close." The unicorn smiled to her. “Let’s go, dear! I won't accept any objections!” Leaving the mares to argue - however, there’s no way out for the monochrome one - I went upstairs. Cadence, yeah? Interesting...
41. Ego EimiAuthor's Note "So who am I?" Original author's note. 41. Ego Eimi “Twilight? Knock-knock!” “She is not here right now, miss! Maybe I can... Help...” Spike died away sharply as he stepped out from behind the cabinets and found my humble self on the doorstep of “Golden Oak”. “You can “help” me. Hello, Spike.” “Ehm... Well... Greetings, Nightmare...” The dragon was afraid of me from the beginning, or he didn't like me, or all of the above, so he tried to cross paths with me less often. He even stopped running to “Carousel” after I moved there. Strangely enough, but Rarity has noticed that and she even remembered him at dinner recently. “I have to send a letter to Celestia. And by the way, Rarity sends her huge and fiery love!” “Really?..” “Spikey-Wikey” lost his anxious and gloomy look at once, accepting absolutely official-looking scroll from me without a complaint at the same time, and this one is even sealed properly. “Really-really.” I nodded, chuckling. “She was complaining about you not stopping by...” “A... Can I?” Damn, of course you can't! “I don't know. Ask her, if you want to.” I shook my wings exaggeratedly indifferently, overcoming the urge to put a hoof to my face. “And you?... Well...” “What “me”? “Carousel” is not my domain, so the questions are not to me. Rarity's home today, so ask her. She might be a little busy with the orders, though... Or maybe you're just afraid to see me again, m?” I taunted Spike, smiling with all teeth naked. “I’m not afraid of anything!” He grumbled hesitatingly, blushing a bit. “I just... Ehm... I was busy! Very busy! And now - literally now! - clocked out and... And was about to go to Rarity! So...” The dragon clearly wanted to go away. Hey, where are you going? I looked with a surprised look at the little guy, walking around me in the direction of the exit. “Haven't you forgot something?” I forced him to pay attention to me. “Na!.. Ops.” He blushed and became confused. “I mean, of course, I was going to go to Rarity... Send your letter - and then go!” The dragon snatched the scroll from my grasp, gained a full chest demonstratively, and "blew" the scroll from his palms with a tongue of green flame. Hah, it’s done. And there were no questions, no demands, no suspicions, which, I bet, would have been sure if our stunted romantic had not heard about his longed-for sweetheart... “Nightmare, the library is closing!” Spike announced sternly from behind the door. “I’m coming, coming.” Chuckling, I rushed out from the house. I glanced at the dragon, that almost has started to jump into the distance, and then, with a chuckle, headed off after him. It goes, the letter to Tia... It would be the third week since our last meeting, and she still hasn't say a word. No, of course, maybe her "soon" is "within a couple of years" - with her life time... Who cares - a month more, a month less? Still, that's not a reason to keep silent, even to direct questions! Damn it, Tia! Forgive this poor idiot... I even kept the threat I made to myself the other day and created a message according to all rules: in ink, as straight as I could, in handwriting, with a cap... well, as much as I could: I was not even remotely aware of my official status... I asked Twi about the paperwork: fortunately, she had come to “Carousel” on her own, “to Rarity”, yeah, nice one... And when our librarian ran away, I took up my quill. I did it: the training of telekinesis and the return of sensitivity allowed me to write the text, although not so easy and simple, but at least I managed, not like that time... My handwriting, of course, is a mess, but it seemed readable, although I still have a lo-o-ong way to their calligraphists... But anyway, the message, that was written maximally officially - within my skills - has just gone to the address. I hope, that at least this way Tia would pay attention to it... But quills are still some kind of mockery... You can't live like that. Maybe I have to remember the construction of a ballpoint pen, and find someone to make it?.. Heh, if I could defeat those damn quills, the aristocrats would overthrow Celestia and put me on the throne!.. I laughed softly, covering my mouth with the tip of my wing. Pictured too far, damn it... I didn't bother with other letters so much - I wrote in the way I felt the most comfortable. It wasn't until I sent it off that I realized, that Cadence might not be aware of my writing preferences - what if she would be offended... It wasn't like we were really talking or anything, but it just came out of nowhere... Shit. As I understood, our pink Princess wrote likely to initiate communication, for starters. We talked about this a while ago, as I remember, even during my last visit to Canterlot... Cadence has been sharing some local castle news, telling me a little about herself, asking a little about me - so she's been probing the ground for some kind of relationship. Obviously, that she wrote me not just out of boredom... There was a second letter in the envelope "from Cadence”. Luna. I recognized her only by the handwriting, confirming my vague guess by looking at the signature at the end. I did not see anything special in the beginning, but I did not want to finish reading it, as one can guess. Let her write what she wants - it does not mean, that I would bother myself in reading her exercises in verse! With that thought, the unread sheet was turned into the victim of the shredder by telekinesis, and the resulting confetti went into the trash. Answer for the blue one was also ready quickly: the description of the place, where she should stick it, was contained in a couple of sentences and one emotionally broken slate. Damned horse! If you keep your head on your shoulders, at least go away and keep your head down! Fucking scumbag... I stuck on Cadence's answer for a while, wondering, if I should ask her about Tia's condition or not. With greeted teeth, I decided to not put the carriage before the horse and answered within roughly the same framework as my interlocutor. Who knows what is going on there and how... But, of course, it is necessary to find out, and I will certainly touch upon this subject someday, with one of my new letters, if they follow, of course... So, thinking and remembering, I reached "Carousel" without haste, and I didn't even notice that. Well, okay... What else have I planned for today? ... “Here! It’s ready!” Sweetie's joyful voice brought me out of my half-slumber. “You can look now! I’ll call Rarity!” The filly, satisfied with herself, flew out of the room like a bullet. I yawned and rubbed my eyelids, driving away the drowsiness and coming to my senses. I got a little sleepy all of a sudden... Sweetie has obviously been working longer than usual today - in fact, she had promised she was going to try something new and unusual. So, what did she do?.. I got up from the floor, stretching my wings and legs briefly, went to the mirror, and... “A-a...” ...Froze, feeling my thoughts are vaporizing from my head in a moment, leaving only emotional interjections in the booming and empty space of the skull. This is... I... This is... From the mirror, an anthracite black alicorn with a purple mane, neatly brushed, hair is gathered in several strands with hairpins... topped with a huge white bow, was looking at me, blushing her face and her mouth opened! With spangles!!! “Sweetie, goddammit...” I mumbled in a low voice, literally feeling the jamming gears in my head creak and rattle. She made out of me... This?! Cute and defenseless Nightmare in the mirror flapped with her eyelids with pity and a loss. How the?!.. I’m!.. I scrambled confusedly with my front leg over my mane, trying to fumble for a bow to quickly get rid of this!.. Of this! “Well, Nighty, come on, rise and shi...ne..” Rarity walked in, freezing on the threshold with her foot raised to step. “It’s beautiful, isn't?” Sweetie slipped into the room, bypassing her sister. “Ph-h-h-h!.. Hee...” Someone chocked. I turned sharply, just in time to see Spike slipping out into the hallway, his hands over his mouth. Sweetie, for fuck's sake. “It's..." The older unicorn returned to reality. "Very unusual and lovely, I admit... But, Sweetie, dear, I'm afraid our Nightmare wouldn't like such an ornament...” You're just unusually perceptive, my friend! Damn, it's an embarrassment to all of Ponyville! I agitated Spike to my own harm - you see, I didn't want to tackle with his suspicion... I stopped to rush in an attempt to get rid of the bow. It doesn’t matter anyway, does it? It’s too late for it. Fu-u-ucki-ing shi-it!.. “Really? You don't like it?..” Sweetie lifted her darkened stare at me. I shook my head briefly, barely able to keep my mouth shut. Topped with a big, pretty white bow. A-a, man... “Oh, what a shame...” The filly drooped. “I thought you would like it too... It goes so well with your fur - it's almost like the Moon on the night sky! And with it, you are so... well... a kind, good pony, not a villain from a fairy tale, that no one loves... What a shame... I'm sorry I failed...” I stared blankly at the younger unicorn, standing there like a tree, not knowing what the hell to do. Scold? Threaten? Tear my mane? What?.. “Don't worry about it, Sweetie." Rarity kissed the top of her head. She smiled shyly and rubbed at her side in return. “Would you put on the kettle for all of us?” “Of course!” The clearly cheered up filly nodded with enthusiasm. “Ehm... Sorry, that it's so bad! I’ll do better next time, I promise!” “I don't need any next time.” I grumbled gloomily into the closing door behind Sweetie's back. “Don't be mad at my sister, dear.” The designer smiled. “I bet you haven't forbidden her to make something like that, have you? I've learned by now that you're kind of like Dash, who doesn't like that kind of stuff, either... And by the way... you really do look good. You are so delightfully cute with it..." This... snake winked at me! I stared in the mirror against my will. Yes, you can't argue with that... And the eyes are so huge because of the bangs pulled back... And what that bow would look like on me in that drawing of mine! Fu-uck!.. The picture before my eyes instantly made my cheeks flush crimson, my heart beat faster, and a warm sourness began to warm in the lower part of my stomach. I swallowed a lump in my throat, turned away, and began frantically groping for the bow in my mane. “Nighty, don't worry so much, please. Let me help you!” Rarity carefully slowed me down with telekinesis. I nodded nervously as I took a few quick breaths and swallowed my stringy saliva, allowing the unicorn to begin carefully and unhurriedly sorting out the hair. Phe-ew, damn... It was a very... Good thought, abyss damn me... “That's all. And it wasn't necessary, dear. You really looked very pretty and unusual with it." Rar showed me the bow she has taken off. Twisted it in front of her eyes, put it to her head and looked in the mirror, shook her head disappointedly, and put it aside. It goes too bright in color with her fur, it's getting lost - it really didn't suit her. But when put on me!.. I shook my head, trying to get rid of the absolutely useless thought. “You know... I think I must apologize to you.” Hesitating, Rarity broke the silence shyly. “For what?” “For... For the yesterday's thing.” The mare drooped, blushing with her cheeks a bit. “I... I shouldn't have been so careless about... Snatching your thing and...” She finally lost it. “Forget it.” I sighed gloomily. Yeah... But I think the talk about it would have emerged in any case, sooner or later. “Thanks, Nighty. I’ll try to be more delicate in the future.” The unicorn eased a bit. “And... Is this your drawing?” She looked aside confusedly once again. No, it appeared by it-damn-self! Why are you asking? “Mine.” I squeezed out a confession, feeling my cheeks warm and my gaze slip to the side. Damn it! “I didn't look closely, of course, but... you're... very talented." Rar said, making me want to fall through the floor. And I don't know which one of us should do it - I or she... Damn it, how to treat and understand that? "Nightmare, you've done a great job of drawing yourself as a hot, lustful slut, well done!"? And then what, should I just say “thanks”?.. Or... “Sorry. I guess I’m poking my nose into your affairs.” Rar mumbled, ending my stupor. “I just wanted to focus your attention on... well... great performance... I mean, you could be, like, a painter and draw... Remember when you said you have nothing to do? I... I was talking in that sense.” “I’ll think about it.” I grumbled, not knowing how to get away from... All of this. An embarrassed silence fell across the room for a long minute. The mare and I were stubbornly avoiding each other's gazes, and neither of us seemed to know what to say next. My cheeks continued to burn, much to my indignation. I haven't felt so fucking stupid in a long time, damn it... “Hey...” I started to speak just to make something with that silence. “Well... I’m not sure about your idea with the drawings...” I was tensely silent under Rarity's questioning and seemingly confused gaze, trying to formulate a thought and reflexively whipped my own hips with my tail. A-a, fu-uck! Get a grip, damn it! Generally... Get yourself together!!! “I’m afraid I don't control myself during the process. You must have been racking your brains trying to figure out why I would draw something like that." I grinned nervously. “And I’ll surprise you - I wasn't even going to! Like last time, by the way...” The unicorn flinched visibly. Yeah, I felt bad about that drawing, too... Tia had left it to me, and I'd left it at Canterlot. I should have burnt it, but I couldn't do it for some reason, nor could I carry a simple piece of paper, which had absorbed the pain and horror of centuries, along with particles of the pencil lead... I left it on the table and went away, hoping I'd never see it again. Maybe there would be someone to burn it... “And now this.” I looked eloquently towards the workshop, where all my few possessions were stored for the time being. “I just thought... Not about what I have should - and here it is. I didn't even notice how half an hour flew by, and in the notebook appeared... This stupid masterpiece!” Sighing, I looked away blushing, not knowing what to say. “Nightmare, did you... Did you love Luna?” ... Kh-h... A-a... What?.. What?!.. I’m!.. What the?!.. A-a... “Oh! Nightmare, I’m so sorry! I!.. I shouldn't have reminded you... All this!.. Sorry!” Standing up, Rarity hugged me and pressed her legs tightly around my neck, giving me a delicate scent of perfume and violets. “W... Why did you think so?..” I asked in a hushed voice after a few seconds, getting over with the stupor. Again these ponies sent me into the “blue screen”... But how, God damn it? Where did she even come up with that conclusion? I and Luna?! I mean, Nightmare with Luna... I mean!.. A-a, shit... “Well..." The visibly distraught, wet-eyed unicorn reluctantly broke from my neck. “Y-you've always reacted to all the romance and all the references to possible relationships with you in such a way... Almost with hatred!.. I just thought you were like Rainbow! You know, in that field!.. And now I realized, that you probably wanted to love and be loved, just like any mare, but you were once really, really hurt... Oh, I'm so sorry!..” The unicorn dug into my neck and sobbed softly. “A-are you alright?..” Embracing her in answer reflexively, I mumbled with a loss, frantically trying to to figure out what's going on and what I should do about it. Damn, she really seems to think, that Luna and I had... But I did tell her what it was like! Not in detail, of course, cursorily I'd say... So she filled in the blanks for the part I hadn't told her. What wouldn't Nightmare Moon say? About her intimate relations, of course, which she didn't want to talk about in any conversation! Damn... Rarity... I sighed as I continued to gently stroke the occasionally shuddering snow-white back under my hoof. What a silly horse you're... You've chosen me to shed tears over... Because of the heartbreak of her friend, who now pushes everyone away from her and will never love again?.. Pfft, what a nonsense, I snorted skeptically. There was no such a thing! But how could Rar know that? I couldn't help but sigh again. Should I tell her everything? Everything at all? Why? To dump on her that her... friend wasn't who she thought she was, and, as a result... I don't know. A fight? No, I don't think so... But I'm sure Ice Cream will try to console me about my family somehow... Don't think about it, for fuck's sake. It only gets worse... No. She should not know. No one should. Even if they understood, then... Just why? No. No one knows - and let it be like that. And as for Luna - is Rar so wrong, since she once meant so much to me? I would have gone into the fire for her, and she just had thrown me out! Thrown out Nightmare! Me!.. A-a... There’s no difference already, God damn it... I gripped the unicorn tighter. It’s interesting... Nightmare - not me, the original one - would she has forgiven Luna?.. Maybe she had in fact even then, on the Moon?.. Phe-ew... Some gibberish is in my head, damn it... “Nighty, let me go! You’ll choke me!” Rar, which was stroked by me, started to move down there. “Ops... Sorry.” I took my foot away, letting the disheveled, but slightly calmer unicorn with red eyes back up a few steps. “It’s me who must be sorry.” She hid her eyes. “I shouldn't have...” “Don't make things up, would you? Don't apologize... How are you, Rar?” I interrupted the mare as softly as possible. “Awful!” She sighed depressingly. “Because... Oh... I absolutely can't think of how to help you!” “You've been doing more for me since I got back than anyone else." I muttered, hiding my gaze for some reason. “That's... Well...” I wanted to hug the unicorn again, but resisted: I don't want to burst into tears... “Oh, but what about?..” “Don't think about it! I’ll manage somehow. And yes, about Luna, you're... not that entirely wrong, but there was no romance at all. "Loved," heh... Blind adoration from me, cynical calculation from her, that's all." I pressed my hoof into the floor with feeling, as if to put an end to it. That’s all. “And all these relationships... Well... It's just not my thing, I guess." I tried to answer at my friend's cry. It sounded, to my quiet indignation, rather unconvincingly. “Thanks for trying to calm me down, Nighty.” Rar smiled faintly. “But still... Don't lock your kind heart away from everypony and from... From love. Please. For it will never heal that way! And I... I will always help you - even if only with an advice or a kind word.” Rar... Damn, you... Fuck... Is that what you want... I’m... I stared at the ceiling. It's a nice finishing. And the chandelier is pretty, just like the room - we're hanging out at Sweetie's one... I wonder if those crystals in this thing can glow pink? "And after all." Rarity stood up and broke the silence in a much more cheerful voice. "You'll finally stop scaring me! You don't like dresses, you avoid stallions... you even go to the spa rarely and with persuasions, although you assured me after the first time that you liked it! I'll tell you a secret, dear: some kind of wrong mare you are!” With a wink, the unicorn smiled mischievously. If only you, friend, knew how much right you are... I couldn't hold myself from a wry chuckle as well. “I'm sorry if... I just wanted to cheer you up a little." Rar looked more seriously as she wiped the smile off her face. “Don't...” “Rarity!!! There!.. In the... Oh... Kitchen!..” Cutting me mid-word, panting Spike literally burst into the room. Sweetie. Kettle. Oh, fu!.. ... “Oh!” “Patience, honey!” I shut off the water and watched with melancholy as the whirlpool in the sink tried desperately to drag the heavy, wet towel down with it. The edge of the cloth responded by fluttering reluctantly a couple of times in the stream of water, before it disappeared with a resentful murmur into the pipe alone, unable to draw company with it. As I pulled the wet, burnt rag from the sink, I squeezed it in the vise of magic, squeezing water out of the miserably crackling cloth. “Rarity, I’m!.. I didn't...” “Oh, don't be so upset, Sweetie, I don't blame you!” “But I!..” I shook the wrung out towel, unfolded it in front of me. What a beauty... Once bright and decorated with flowers, it was now smoky, blackened in places, and mottled with burnt holes: many small ones, and one big one that had eaten an entire corner. I shook my head and hung up the wretched towel at its place: let Rar figure out where to put it now... “Nightmare, let me in.” I was poked in my leg with a paw. I glanced at the somewhat depressed, tired dragon with a sooty black washcloth in one paw and a stool just taken back in the other, and stepped away from the sink in silence, letting him climb up on his stool and shove the washcloth under the stream of water. “This is... Gosh...” Spike sighed in the same melancholic manner as I did a minute ago, looking at the black water, dripping from the black washcloth and black paws. And he just touched me with them, by the way... Brat. “It’s not “gosh” - it will come when you have to clean off the kettle.” I “cheered up” the kid, chuckling. “If only I knew!..” He sighed complainingly. You did not, but you still was the first one to rush at the barricades: “I’ll do everything, I’ll help with anything!” Why would I, a weak woman, stand in the way of such a brave knight? Nah, I wouldn't... I chuckled again under the dragon's dissatisfied stare. You shouldn't have laughed at the bow, lizard... Of course, I wasn't just standing by: let's say, the fire had to be put out mostly by me, the burning towel, too... How the hell did it even catch fire from a magical heating element?! It's not like it's a gas stove or anything! But somehow Sweetie was able to do it... The fire was frightening at first, I must admit. And it seems, that by some reflex, even to my own surprise, I created a magical shield, that covered the flame and choked it out. I, of course, was interested in this topic, I had read something, but not like this... However, I did not see the burning rag thrown aside and had to put it out in the sink, where, after thinking about it, I tried to wash it for some reason. I didn't succeed, but at least I calmed my nerves a little. Rar, unlike me and the "knight," did not seem to pay any attention to the devastation, rushing to her sister, and now she was still comforting her and treating her wounds. I think there’s nothing serious. I looked at the pair of the unicorns. “Sorry, I didn't do it on purpose! I don't know how it happened!” The younger sister started a new circle with still wet eyes, despite her older sister's best efforts. “I j-just got upset and... didn't see it and...” "And this is why you decided to burn everything to cheer yourself up.” I swallowed the joke, biting the tongue just in time. They wouldn't get it... Seeing enough of the Sweetie's grieve, I went to the refrigerator, and retrieved the frost-covered bucket from its depths. It helps the older sister, so why it wouldn't do the same with the junior one?.. I torn off the lid with a crunch and, sitting on the floor, put the ice cream in front of the crying face. In response to the astonished look of pale green eyes I held out a spoon. Sweetie, after a moment, thanked silently, and, taking the spoon in her teeth, scooped out of the bucket. Rarity and I couldn't hold ourselves from a synchronous laugh, causing the shy unicorn to blush. However, Rarity started to calm her down immediately. Yeah, nerves, you cannot do anything about them... I’d say you - ponies have a proverb for that: “Holds a spoon with the head” - the head is empty as a drum - that’s the meaning... “Sorry. And... Thank you all for... This...” A little calmed down by the ice cream, the embarrassed filly put the bucket aside. “Oh, don't mention it, sister.” Warmly smiling Rar stroke her mane. “We’re happy that you're alright and everything is fine.” “I really don't know how it happened.” Sweetie sighed, smiling to the care fleetingly. “Well, I got a little bit worried, mused, and then... I don't remember. I got thoughtful for just a little, but... But everything is already burning. There it is.” “Worried? What happened, sweet?” “Well...” The really sweet unicorn poked the floor with her hoof shyly. “I was just trying so hard! Well, with the hair... I thought it would be better, that they would be less afraid of Nightmare, that they would start to speak to her... It would be better, right?” She looked up at me with her hopeful green huge eyes. “It would, Sweetie.” Rar nodded affirmatively, piercing me with her gaze. What? I’m silent... “But our Nightmare... Isn't ready for... This radical changes of look yet. However, I'm sure that will change someday." The milliner concluded, giving me a sympathetic look. “Yeah...” The junior unicorn sighed. “She won't let me do her hair now, though...” The unicorns looked at each other and stared at me in silence. “It’s okay... You can.” I mumbled, not quite sure what to say, really. “Just without... Such experiments, okay?” “Really?” The little filly smiled and suddenly hugged me by the neck when she stood up. “Big thanks!” “Oh, you're welcome...” I was finally embarrassed. What the hell is this?... A-a, damn... Yeah, “Soldier”... Well, in my case - “Nightmare wouldn't hurt a child”, yeah?.. Fucking hell, what I just sighed for... ... “Magic is a fairy tale!” They say, “Magic is a miracle!” They say...” I waved away with my front leg away in frustration and, sighing, collapsed onto the ground, pressing my nape against the cool grass and squinting my eyes into the bright sky. Oh, damn... I could not repeat the shield, that I had created today on some unknown reflexes at the sight of an open flame in a mostly wooden building. And it did not give me any peace: it was a very useful skill! I even tried to look into the subject myself, I remember, but I was not successful then. Now the success was clear, but how did I get there?.. Honestly, I would have given up and tried my hand at making some figures out of stone - Nightmare was the best person in that - but doing so without the shields here would have been extremely inconsiderate. The red-hot stone shrapnel takes your eyes out at once, and they take at least a couple of days to grow back - and that's on the Moon... I shuddered. And then shuddered again, remembering the range of emotions blinded Nightmare had once experienced the first time it had happened to her... I shook my head, trying to shake my thoughts away, swearing as I felt the tip of my horn scraped the ground. Damn it! I pushed back irritably with my wing, flipping myself onto my stomach, and jumped up and headed for the lake. Honestly, after all the things I've seen about Nightmare on the Moon, I’m in absolute surprise - why her body can still feel pain and part of her mind can still feel fear. All the most painful things have already been felt, and all the most frightening things have been experienced... What can impress me after that? And still, sometimes, for some reason, it's scary, and if they hit me, it hurts... “Impress me”?.. Yeah... Maybe it’s me now. I don't know. I stared thoughtfully at my reflection, stopping at the water's edge. Is this me or not? Stupid question? There's no one around except me. I. But who is this male - or female?.. - “I”? How long have I experienced the discomfort of walking with the support of my front limbs? The couple of wings? The lack of arms? No, sometimes I’m sad about the lack of arms, especially during that epic with the limiter on the horn... But still? I live and there’s none of them - okay, I’m fine with it... “Nightmare Moon.” As if I were trying to feel the sounds, I said with an effort as I listened to the sound of the Equestrian language. I talk in it and don't even notice. And I think more and more in it... I plucked a small bundle of grass and, soaking it in water, began to scrub my horn, trying not to be knocked off by the almost unpleasantly sensitive touch on it. How much of who's in me already? “Am I Nightmare Moon, who is dreaming she's a human guy, or a human guy, who is dreaming he's Nightmare Moon?” I said thoughtfully into space as I finished with the horn and tossed the improvised washcloth into the reeds. I somehow imagined my current personality in the form of a stained-glass window. When two solid panes of glass were broken, and then a large shard from one was surrounded by a bunch of smaller ones, mostly from the other. But was I right? Was the alicorn, abandoned on the Moon, so mind-dead, if I am beginning to have such questions?.. “Heck with it.” I slammed my reflection with a hoof, turning it into a murky, dark silhouette against the blue sky, sprawling with the circles in the water. Not the first or the second already. Huh, here it is... The fruit of the human-pony alliance... A peculiar one... Chuckling, I moved away from the lake. Not a bad analogy, m?.. ... “Oh, hello there! Horse apples...” Suddenly "said hello" to me from the cloud, to the edge of which I have just flown up in search of... I don't know what. Even more privacy than at the lake? Not even a sound from outside... And now it's occupied... And occupied by this damned person!.. “Came to gloat, didn't you?” Dash asked darkly, greeting me with a frown... which she hurried to get away as I stared back at her. Now... What’s now? Flying away? Talking? However, talking about what? She doesn't go after me - or from me - but lays sadly on a cloud, all her appearance expressing longing and not seeming to be in the mood for conflict? Hm... Did she have enough of war? “What are you staring at, scarecrow? Or you don't answer to mere mortals if they are not in thrall to you and don't admire you?” The pegasus chuckled provocatively. She picks fights. “Got carried away by the sight of it. “It's just the first time I see a pony that digs her own grave with such impressive persistence." I paused for a few more seconds and "condescended" to answer. “We’ll see who digs it!” Rainbow shouted. “You fly even worse than a cow! I'll scatter that cloud, and you’ll be in the ground until tonight!” “I do, but it’s still better than Scootaloo, which you've been teaching!” The painted one's words, suddenly, touched me. If you had been marinated on the Moon for my time, I would have been looking at your flying with interest Scumbag... “Don't you touch her, do you hear me?!” The pegasus rose. “I!...” “You just tossed her away!” I nailed Dash, shutting her mouth with my telekinesis mid-word. “Loyalty”! Aren't you too low for your Element, painted dummy?” “What is that to you?” She answered dully, suddenly deflated, and, turning away, settled back down on the cloud. “Scoot is my friend.” “Yeah, of course.” Rainbow chuckled with sorrow. “And Rarity is a friend, and Pinkie is a friend, and Princes Celestia is a friend... And all of them at once, for some reason, do not care, that you are an ancient villain, who dreams of taking away the Sun and taking over Equestria! Interesting, why? Maybe because you got into their heads and lied to beat the band? And soon all of Ponyville will be dancing at your behest! H-hay... It's okay, I'll bring you to light!” Poor idiot... “This is why Scootaloo says every meeting how great Rainbow Dash is and how she'll make peace with her soon... Stop looking for the black cat in the dark room, which isn't there.” “Make peace”, huh?” Another grin from the daring mare was more like a sob. “She told me straight out today, that she doesn't want to see me anymore!” “You should hit the other ponies by the lightning more often in front of everyone. Maybe you'd get the idea why it happened..." I muttered to myself, getting tired of standing and laying aside as well. Dash followed me out of the corner of her eye and snorted grimly, then stood up and jumped off the cloud, quickly turning into a dot. Nice talk. By the way, I haven't seen Scoot recently as well... Well, heck with the melancholy? Should I look for the kid?.. I'll just have to go to Fluttershy for dressing first, and then I can give it a shot... Yes, you know, I flew to a cloud to think in silence and solitude... However... Thinking about who I am now - is there much sense in it, really? I have not dissolved into the terror of loneliness on the Moon, nor have I perished in the flames on Earth, as I should have. I’m here and I’m alive. Kind of a big deal, right?
42. Deserved AdmirationAuthor's Note "Someone was afraid of it, someone was looking forward to it... And now this day has come." Original author's note. 42. Deserved Admiration I feel like I did back at the castle, standing on the windowsill and looking down. Damn it... Nah, it was probably even easier there. I sighed nervously and lowered my gaze to my chest, turned around to look at my back and my side... The blue and turquoise dress was tight around my body, flowing the hem down my back legs, glinting dimly with rhinestones in the dim light of the lamp backstage... Beautiful. Magical. On me. Yeah, it’s not the first time: there have already been fittings, and even a little test run with Rar... But now it's the time to go out in this to the crowd, humming somewhere in the front! And there was a sawing feeling in my soul, that the world would never be the same for me after that... Damn it! Hasn't she said at her bruise and that hole in the wall that, "no big deal, forget it"? Why didn't I listen to her, why? Ah, it became uncomfortable! And now it's comfortable, isn't? Should have found money and pay it away - and that’s all. And now?.. Think of me as a disabled one - I don’t have brains, damn it! I feel like... Like!... A-a... The mere phrase “my dress” already freaks me out... “Nightmare, your turn.” Spike poked me with his fist and, turning around, walked away, leaving me alone to suffer with my dress. “Hey, Nightmare...” The head of an orange pony with a naughty dark-pink mane suddenly peeked out from around the corner where the dragon had disappeared. “Don't worry, yep?.. And... Yeah...” Scoot, hesitating and shying, hastened to hide back. “Thanks, Scootie!” I answered with a little bit of nervous smile. I’ll try, there’s nowhere to run... With nervous awaiting, I turned to the scaffold's way - to the podium. It didn't last long, though, as the curtains slid to the sides and the blinding light of the spotlights came into my eyes, and my ears were filled with the muffled hum of the crowd, the music, and Pinkie's voice, ringing out over evening Ponyville. “Here-e it come-e-es!!! The first dress of this collection - “Sky blue evenings”!!! Mod-e-el... Nightmare-e Mo-on!!!” The light stops blinding. Heart pounded somewhere in the temples, throat was dry. My legs are growing weak... Get a grip! How did Rarity say that?... “Wings up, neck out”... Well... Stop, smaller pace! Hem! Shove that damn lump in the throat - I’m sick of it... Let’s go... With a wooden walking, I headed that way - towards the noise and the light. To the podium. To demonstrate the dress. And yeah, I should smile... Lips stretched into a wry, nervous grin. Without fangs! Or Rar would eat me alive right with my dress... The shoes thundered across the podium. Pinkie was speaking something inspirational into the microphone, the music was playing... and a thick silence over the crowd. Smile! Straighten your neck! Step more confident! Ban-bang, ban-bang, ban-bang... Swing tail. Turn to the left side. Put leg down. Bend the neck. Swallow the lump in the throat. Smile! Turn to the right side. Unfold the wings. Turn them back. Back, not fold them completely! Still the same dazed silence in the crowd. Round glassy eyes, dropped jaws. Heart is pounding frantically in ears, like it’s trying to get out. Throat seems to be stuck together, tongue is like sandpaper. Smile!!! Pinkie is inspirationally broadcasting something in the background of everything that's going on. Turn away. Swing tail. Twist the croup. Ban-bang, ban-bang, ban-bang... Rarity is going near the podium. Gnawing a hoof, looking at me without taking her eyes off. I'd like to have a hoof right now as well... I literally fell into the tent behind the stage, which was used as a dressing room: I could barely keep my legs. “N-nightmare, how are you?..” Fluttershy looked at me sympathetically. “Don't ask.” I wheezed out. “Water!” I drained the served glass. Oh, man... I've never had a cigarette in my life, but now I desperately wanted to smoke. If I had fingers, they would have been shaking... I feel like I'm committing complete insanity... Sweetie Belle, Fluttershy, and the spa sisters, Lotus and Aloe, silently and as quickly as possible pulled the dress off the bruised log - off me. And there's the new one, and the decorations to it... Rarity, who do you take after to be so creative, damn it? How will I survive eight such appearances?! Oh, speak of the devil and he is sure to appear... The unicorn, falling into the tent, wasn't in a better shape than me. “Rarity, how are you?” Spiked looked at her with sympathy. “Awful!” She panted. “Water!” She drained the served glass. “I!.. Oh... I didn't think that your appearance will shock everyone so hard... I’m worrying terribly! What if... What if this is a failure?!..” “D-don't be worried, Rarity!” The dragonfly stroked the soon-to-be-in-hysteria milliner on the side. “You have, ehm... Excellent dresses! Very... Delicious! Well, I mean, wonderful... Everyone will like them! Just, ehm - no offence, Nightmare! She's that kind of a model... Well...” “Better than you, kiddo.” I snapped weakly as a squad of mares led by, suddenly, Flutty played the “Formula One” team of technicians at the pit stop with me as the car. Took off the dress and jewelry, drenched the damp fur... “Oh, I!.. Yes. Thanks, Spikey!” She exhaled and smiled gratefully at the literally glowing dragon. “Let’s go to the next!.. Yeah... Don't forget to correct the make-up! It should be flawless!” She fit into the circle of “technicians”. The new dress: the cool fabric caresses my heated body with its touches. Close my eyes: I wouldn't have guessed Fluttershy to be a makeup virtuoso. Clicks of clips in my ears: heck with them - I don't want to pierce them! Quick, professional motions of hooves across my mane. I have to lie down, standing up only when a rare necessary occurs: it's hard to serve a standing alicorn... “Get up, Nighty! Did they wrinkle your dress? Turn around! Yeah... Okay, fine, I have to go! Don't forget to change your shoes! And don't forget to change your make-up at the fifth performance as well! Nightmare... Nicely done, you're doing great!” Designer smiled a little nervously and hurried out of the building. Okay... Great if it's great... Last changes. Spike glances expressively at the clock - it's time for the second exit. One minute and I'm standing in front of the closed curtain again, feeling my pulse quicken. Okay, well... The first time's not bad... I walk back and forth. The hem of my dress tickles my hind legs a bit. I adjust the pendant on my neck. Rar, goddammit, what did you mean with that openwork thing on the chest? No, it’s beautiful and stuff, but the suspension clings to it!” “Nightmare, your go!” Spike reminds. Get ready! And don't forget about the smile! ... When the?.. The last performance. The eighth dress. I corrected the hem: it's a little strange... or is it supposed to be that way?.. Silver with elements of deep blue; it looks more like an evening gown than a ball one - it's tight, flowing down in a weightless fabric... A beautiful dress. Crescent-shaped earrings, the pendant is in a full moon form, a silver tiara, and a horn ring as a decoration. The last makes me nervous a bit... The shoes, somewhat similar to mine, are from the armor. Metallic this time, not made of a cleverly crafted thick fabric like most of the previous ones. “Nightmare...” “Yep. I’m ready!” A smile appears on my face by itself. With fangs: no one cares anymore. Everyone admires. Me. Other people's fear can be entertaining, can be annoying... But this admiration!.. It’s!.. The curtains part, letting me under the beams of lights and projectors. Music rumbles, Pinkie announces another outfit... The applause booms out loud. Shouts of elation ring out. Strobe lights explode into the night with camera flashes. Yes! Adore me! Ironic, isn't, Luna? You're the one who's been dreaming of recognition! Of fame! Of admiring glances! But everything goes to me, Nightmare Moon! I pose spectacularly, with pleasure, noting new and new camera flashes. I will be admired! And you, Luna, will remain a nobody in your sister's shadow!!! My smile is full of absolute happiness. I’m turning from one side to the other, opening and folding my wings, and enjoying the stomp of applause. It was as if all these ponies have forgotten in an instant, that they are facing a terrible tale from the distant past, and now they are admiring and feast eyes on it. I notice, that the attention of some mortals is shifting away from me. Who?!... I look around angrily, squinting my eyes. Rarity. Stops beside me: the unicorn's eyes are shining with happiness. Relaxing, I smile: she's allowed to share this triumph with me! She's done a lot for it... and for me. “Thanks!” I sincerely thanked her in an ear, breaking through the rumble, clamor, and music. My friend gave me this jubilation! She deserves to bathe in their delight as well! “Thank to you, dear!” She almost shouted back and wiped away the joyful tears. “Night, Rarity! It was!... O-oh-h!!!” Pinkie Pie flew out from somewhere in the crowd right onto the podium in front of us. “I haven't seen such superbeautiest dresses for a long time! Nightmare, you are super-super-super-super matchless-supermatchless with these dresses!!! Rarity! This is... Oh! It’s superwonderful!” “Thanks, Pinkie!” Rar hugged her, not thinking about her hair. “Hugs!” Pinks answered eagerly. I shook my head with a smile and stared thoughtfully at my hooves. "Adore me?”.. The last three performances went on a kind of incomprehensible courage, I must admit... The stunned and enthusiastic eyes fixed on me, the jaws dropping, the applause until the hooves were crushed - this attention... was intoxicating. Now that everything has calmed down and the obsession was gone... It definitely wasn't mine, one hundred percent. I mean, it was mine, but... No, not really mine, but... ... Doesn't matter anyway. Right? In any case, I... “Nightmare, would... Would you mind talking a bit with the guests! Answering questions and...” The unicorn touched me shyly. “I’m not against it...” I answered a little bit slowly, getting back into the real world. Not against it. I’m tired of their fear. “Oh, this is absolutely wonderful! Thanks, Nightmare!” Rar thrived. “Nice!” Pinkie jumped on the spot in unison with the unicorn. “I just got two microphones!” The pony shook a pair of rather imposing plaques with clips, in the manner of lapel microphones, from her mane to her hoof, and promptly hooked them onto our dresses, on our chests. “Nightmare.” Rarity whispered as I leaned toward her at her sign. “I beg you: do without the chilling threats and your creepy jokes! Please! Don't scary everyone, I beg you very hard!” “I’ll try to.” Straightening, I mumbled with a sigh. I’ll try to. “Are you ready? Time to turn on!” Pinkie looked at us and waved her front leg theatrically as she stepped forward: “Ladies and gentlecolts! Don't be in a hurry to disperse - it's not over yet! Right now you have an incredibly incredible opportunity to have a wonderful conversation and speak out your questions for these magnificent ponies: Rarity and Nightmare Moon! I’m sure you have a lot of them today!” “And N-nightmare... Well..." The stallion in the front row twitched his ears uncertainly, looking at me with cautious interest. “Not “well”!” Pinkie shook her curly mane. “You all have seen that she's beautiful! Just don't ask her about the Moon and all this ancient past and everything would be alright! Well, let’s go! For the starters: Night, how do you feel about this spectacularly cool evening?” “Spectacularly.” I chuckled indefinably. “I haven't been in such a situation before.” “Did you like it?” “I did definitely...” Damn it!.. What's the point of being dishonest and lying to yourself, when you just naturally went crazy from what was going on?.. A-a.. “I'm... You know, I'm a little amazed at how quickly and smoothly Rarity organized everything." I tried to switch to something else. “The stage, the music, the commercials... It was as if everything has been prepared in advance and all she needed was my consent and the outfits." I winked at the unicorn, which became shy a bit. “Well, I had some experience about it...” She took the floor. “Not as impressive and more in the background, but still. And, of course, this great evening wouldn't have been possible without my friends, lending me a hoof of help! Applejack and the Apple family for helping me so much with the scene!..” “Ya welcome, sugarcube!” Applejack kindly chuckled from the first row. Wow, I just noticed her... “... You, Pinkie, for organizing and conducting everything beautifully!..” Rar emphasized a bow with a thankful smile. “Did you like-verylike it? It’s awesome! Happy to help!” The happy earthpony jumped on the spot. “...Lotus, Aloe, and Fluttershy, who were so helpful with the outfits! Spike and my sister, Sweetie Belle, who were so supportive about this whole initiative! And of course, Nightmare Moon, without whom this fashion fest wouldn't have happened! Honestly - I didn't think you'd agree, dear. It's hard to put into words what that means to me." The unicorn nodded appreciatively again, this time at me. “Yes... You're welcome...” I didn't find the answer for it. The sincere gratitude touched me. “And you all, Ponyville! Thank you for coming here today!” The milliner concluded by bowing to the crowd and shaking her mane in a spectacular way, accepting the applause with a joyful smile. “Thank you, Rarity! It was magical! And now I think Ponyville already wants to join our question and answer game, too!” With one last wink, the pink earthpony literally dove into the crowd. “And, for the starters!.. O! Nightmare, it seems your friends wants to say a few words! Let’s go!” “Ehm... No, I... I’d just, not...” The familiar voice hesitated. “Oh, don't be shy! Night would be happy to hear you!” Pinks cheered her up. "Of-f... Okay... Ehm, Nightmare... I just wanted to support you... Well, it was very beautiful and you were worried for nothing.” “Thank you, Scoot! You're the best!” I thanked the pegasus from the bottom of my heart, not holding back a smile. She's a desperate one. Doing such a thing for all the town to hear... Thanks, Scootie. “You are really best! Here, have a cake! It’s on the house! ...Oh, it’s nothing! My pleasure! Supporting friends is a very-very-very good thing! Welcome - Scootaloo!” I joined in the applause, rumbling my hooves across the stage and smiled again. It looks like someone else has got an unexpected moment of glory, too... Oh, Pinkie, well done!.. “We’re continu-u-uing!!! And his question will be asked by!.. O! O! By you! You're brave and you have a question!” A few chuckles of uncertainty swept through the already a bit hushed crowd. I and Rar smiled together. Let’s go. Fire away, hoofed one! “Ehm... Hello... I'd like to ask you a question that... is probably on everypony's mind: Nightmare Moon, will you... set an eternal night?..” The questioning pony almost whispered the last words, but the microphone faithfully did its job and delivered them to the entire square, an intense silence of which hung in the air. It seems that absolutely all eyes were crossed on me, such that it was even a little uncomfortable... “Well..." I pondered the wording. I cannot just spit it all out! “Eternal night is... it has never been an end in itself for me. But the pony, for which... it was needed, had demonstrated conclusively, that she did not deserve such an effort. So, in answer to the question: no, I won't. Personally, I simply don't need it.” The square became a little more alive, and the people exhaled with a relief. In some places I could hear the stomp of applause, and there was a shout of "Thank you!” I hid the smile with a tilt of my head. “Here... Yes, thank you." A mumble was audible from the speakers as the microphone went to the next speaker. “Nightmare Moon! I guess, in a way, continuing this topic... What do you think about Princess Celestia?” “The answer will definitely surprise you." I chuckled, rearranging my dress. “I think about her well. We have a very pleasant and warm relationship, and I hope that I will have the opportunity to visit her again soon.” The square supported my answer with brief applause and smiles. The tension was visibly reduced, the questions started to gain pace. “Nightmare! Do you really live with Rarity? What is your connection to her? Thank you!” I glanced at the snow-white unicorn, standing next to me. “Rarity is my close friend. And yes, she invited me to stay with her for a while, until... I guess I can get a place of my own.” I shook my wings uncertainly. “Stay as long as you like, sweetheart! You're always welcome." Rarity confessed to all of Ponyville into her microphone, giving me a warm smile. “Question to you, Rarity! Can I, yes?.. Good!” The questioner received a generous nod from the milliner from the stage. “How? Just: how?” How did you become such friends? Not with anyone, but with Nightmare Moon!” “Well..." Rar looked at me with a hesitant, thoughtful glance and lowered her eyes. “I'm sure many of you remember me, wandering around Ponyville in search of work, when I didn't have a cutie mark. Thank to everypony, which supported me in those times with words and actions! Being alone in the middle of a then strange town, not knowing where to go or who to turn to for help... It's hard. And who would help Nightmare Moon herself, who was in the same situation?.. When the thought suddenly occurred to me, I realized that I simply couldn't do nothing. And... And I made a friend. Sensitive, kind and...” “Rarity!” I hissed... For all the square to hear. Forgot about the microphone... Unsure short chuckles swept through the motley crowd. Damn it!.. “Sensitive, kind a bit shy friend!” Rar chuckled briefly at my hissing and finished her sentence. “She doesn't like cowardice, and it can be difficult to communicate with her, but... I'm sincerely happy, that I had the chance to meet her. Nighty... Thank you for everything!” The unicorn emphasized a slight bow to my side. “Yeah, thank you too... It’s...” I mumbled, shying... Forgetting about the microphone once again. Damn it... “Night is the best! We just have to get to know her better!” Pinkie drew a conclusion. “So let’s get back to the questions! A-and it would be-e... O! You!” “So, uh... Nightmare, do you have somepony... special? Rarity is a friend to you or... Or she means more?” I think the mare's voice sounded with a kind of undercurrent of hope from the speakers. Sick of it!... You have nothing to ask more, huh?... I’m gonna... I didn't have time to answer, getting a sensitive tug on my tail, and turning around grudgingly, I was confronted with... a very emotional look from Rarity. “Do not threaten her!” The unicorn's sapphire eyes gleamed eloquently from under her long lashes. “I’m, ehm...” I turned away and tried to formulate something appropriate. “I’m not... not ready to consider that kind of relationship yet, yes...” “But why?” What wasn't clear in my answer for you, scumb... “Please, do not take on this, dear.” Seizing initiative, Rar dishonestly tug my tail again. “Nightmare... For Nightmare it still takes time to get used to the way Equestria has changed over the years..." “...so I think I'll consider the question of any kind of intimate relationship later." I picked up on that, nodding appreciatively at my friend. “I don't think I'll take too long: I think fifty or seventy years will be enough for me to get used to it more or less." I tried to draw a spectacular line in the alicorn style, which earned me the rounded eyes of Rar and some of the guests, and even a really disappointed sigh from the crowd. It wasn't clear who did that... “Nightmare Moon! I'm sorry if my question seems indelicate... Frankly, your reputation is... um... incongruous with today's event, and it doesn't really fit in the head... Even Rarity didn't really believe it herself! So the question is still: why did you agree?” “Rarity has helped me a lot.” I moved my wings shyly. “I wanted to do something for her in return - that's all.” “Okay... Which of these dresses did you personally like best?” Pfft, yeah... If I'd have thought of questions and answers before the show, I would have categorically cut off this one: "None!" and now... It's still women's dresses - adjusted for anatomy. But the eyes fixed on me, the admiration! Damn it. I'm afraid I'm too much Nightmare Moon to answer in such a way... Unfortunately or fortunately? “The third one. And it wasn't just me who liked it, right? It clearly made a lasting impression on everyone!” The crowd cheered, discussing and applauding my choice. The first performance was, except for the music and Pinkie, in a deadly silence. By the second, the people have calmed down a bit and come to their senses, but most of them were clearly out of place. By the third, the dam has collapsed. The dress was off the hook, and Pinkie finally got the crowd going... The applause, timid at first, but spreading like wildfire, the looks, the enthusiastic shouts... It just made my head spin, filling me with a kind of excitement. My pace was no longer wooden, my smile was no longer forced, my dress was no longer a hated rag, restricting my movements. By the fourth, the wait backstage already seemed unbearably, unfairly long... “Miss Nightmare, forgive me for asking... But the whole town was talking about it, and I can't help myself: what really happened to the griffon, who is now being treated here? There's been all kinds of gossip... I have to figure it out for myself!” A cautious stroking of my leg, a pleading look from Rarity. What? A standard question, nothing new... “Don't “miss” me, okay?” I answered, chuckling. Seemed to try to be friendly, but the crowd somehow got quiet all at once. “About the question... Shall I tell you in all the unpleasant details or in brief?” “Ehm... It’s better to make story short...” “Well, long story short, Gilda made harm to my friends and has been... Punished for this.” Rarity clearly shivered. “Later I visited her and apologized for sending her to the hospital and helped in any way I could. All in all, we parted without any complaints against each other. It's long story short.” I have a hardened reputation... I smoothed out all the angles I could, but people were still visibly tense, and the possible positive end of the answer did not seem to help much. I felt a growing irritation: well, where is the rapture and adoration with which you showered me fifteen minutes ago?.. “Yeah... There was a rumor, that you were going to... kill Princess Luna." Some idiot decided to kill the atmosphere of festivities for good. A silence fell. Even the music seemed to fade and got lost in the background. A look of desperate pleading in Rarity's eyes flickered towards me. I've had enough. Who needed all the previous claptrap if you bastards are trying to move away from me unintentionally again? Where’s your adoration?! They don't care what I answer: they'll all remember just this question - and keep scattering and hiding, just like before! Losers! “Questions about my conflict with Luna must be addressed to Luna herself by all who wants answers!” I spit, hardly containing my annoyance, irritation, and some kind of powerless longing. “Something more? If there’s none, then...” “I don't know what she was up to." Applejack said in a ringing voice very close to me, perfectly audible in the almost dead silence. "But if I understood everything correctly, she has carried wounded Princess Luna out on her own back! That's what counts, and their quarrels are...” What? Applejack?! How?! How she?! I!.. I’m... I stood in an unsteady pose with my foot raised to step, feeling my thoughts rapidly evaporating from my head. Now the silence was really dead. Even the music has gone completely silent for real... “Nightmare... Is it true?..” Rarity whispered to the whole square, looking at me with a look full of hope and fear at the same time. “We-ell, yes... It just happened...” I mumbled with a loss, turning back to the crowd. For all the square to hear as well... “So I was right to tie the only one chain of traces to ya." In the farmer's voice, which was translated through the microphone, a distinctive smile could be felt. “Been there and I've seen Princess. She was in tough shape, she would have been lost without ya...” “Wohoo-o!” Pinkie burst out of the crowd and, without any shame, grabbed me in a hug, hanging around my neck. “Night! I knew you're awesome! Awesome, isn't she?” She raised her tone. Affirmative voices and nods went through the crowds... Someone started to stomp, and that was the rock, that started the avalanche. In the next second, the stage drowned in applause. “Oh!” The pink earthpony, who has just been stomping enthusiastically along with the crowd, panted with satisfaction, when the applauses began to die out. “I think the record in the gramophone has ended - we'll have to continue without music!” For some reason, the phrase, tossed for no reason at all, made me shake off the stupor, with which I have been looking at the crowd around the stage, and I smiled uncertainly. “Night, I'll just explode and fill everything around me with confetti if I don't ask about how it was like!” Pinkie jumped up again, vibrating in anticipation. “Can you tell us, right? Can you? Can you?!” “How it was...” I vaguely flapped my wing, trying to get my thoughts together in my rather now empty head. “For the details you can go to Luna. Yes, I got her out of the woods... Even though without much desire, honestly... I had to fight off a manticore on the way. You know, we’re lucky that its poison doesn't take alicorns off that easy...” I grinned wryly, studying the scene beneath my feet thoughtfully. “I barely remember my exit from the woods. I came to my senses in Canterlot, more or less.” I moved with my wing again. The crowd hummed, discussing. Someone applauded briefly, there was even a shout: “Thank you!” You're welcome... I just hope this kindness wouldn't back blast in the future... “It was very honorable, dear! I’m admired to the bottom of my soul! But why didn't you tell it earlier?” “Well... Hadn't reasons to.” I replied thoughtfully. “Nightmare, Rarity! Are you ready to continue the evening and our great game of questions and answers?” The Pinkie’s voice from the speakers interrupted the barely started dialog. And what?.. I looked around the crowd. Gazes: joyful, admiring, interested - they were looking at me. They waited my words. It was as if a wave had risen from within, washing away the uncertainty and fatigue, inviting me to stand on its crest again. “Let's go!” I smiled. Rarity nodded in agreement with a quick glance at me, standing nearby. “Great! No-ow... It’s your turn!” “Newspaper “The Ponyville farmer”! Hello!” Oh, I knew it - there are sharks of the quill! “We've already heard, that you and Princess Celestia are tied by friendly relationships. But have you met Princess Cadence? And, if you don't think it's unpleasant, can you tell us what the relationship is between you and Princess Luna?” Luna again, huh?.. “I've met Cadence. I was quite surprised." I chuckled, remembering our real, not demonstrative, acquaintance. “We didn't communicate much, but now, not without mutual pleasure, I suppose, we correspond. And I think my relationship with Luna, on the other side, has been beautifully described before me, with the issue of me trying to kill her. I don't see the point in adding anything on top of that.” “So there was some truth in that question?” With a sigh of doom, I glanced around the crowd, astonished to note the unfriendly glances cast by some of the ponies there, and some of them went somewhere in the direction of the one who asked. “You like walking at the edge... I’ll say nothing new to you! Any questions of such kind should be addressed right to Luna! That’s it! Pinkie, next question, please!” “Greetings! Persistent Discover, newspaper “The capital evening”!” Here we go... Press, and not even a local one! That's good! I couldn't hold a triumphant smile: it means, that soon Luna will see my triumph too! “Is it possible to expect to get your interview? Thank you!” A good question... “It is. Just make sure you pick someone who's not shy! And by the way, what brings a reporter from the capital publication here?” “We will pick him definitively! I was brought here by sheer sensation and a bit of luck to be in Ponyville right now! Rumors have gotten around, but our competitors haven't been enterprising enough to bother checking them out! And given that our publication, don't think of it as advertising, has already been privileged to interview Princesses Tselestia and Cadence, we couldn't afford to miss the opportunity to meet you now, Nightmare!” The pony grinned with obvious smugness. “Well, I think the raid paid off.” I chuckled in microphone in return. “Just make sure you don't misinterpret anything in the report on your joyfulness!” “How could I?!..” He became indignant. “Thank you again!” “You're welcome.” I nodded. “The next question!” “Nightmare Moon, could you tell please!..”
43. A Dark FutureAuthor's Note "A storm begins to grow..." Original author's note. 43. A Dark Future A nightmare again... Luna splashed water on her face one last time and shut off the flow of water from the faucet. The fluffy towel slid reluctantly over her fur, and Princess looked up tiredly in the mirror. Disheveled from sleep blue mane, a little bit damp fur is slightly tossed, deep shadows lay under the eyes, that are red from the sleeplessness and the recent tears. She wished she didn't sleep at all... or did not wake up. Princess sighed, put the towel back on, turned off the light crystal, and went back into her bedroom. Nothing worked. The dream realm has closed its gates to her. A thousand years ago, the spirits, who had feared her attention, who had nurtured fear in sleeping ponies and fed on them, now saw her as their prey. Finding vulnerabilities, they struck there, time after time, night after night... No wonder Nightmare, whom Luna had so carefully concealed her knowledge of the world of dreams from, had thought that it’s her, Luna's tricks. Nightmare, again... One and only, which Luna has killed by leaving her alone. Her... No, not daughter. Of course not a daughter! But the faithful comrade, who had tried her best to help and protect... She died there. Died because of her, because of Luna. The Elements of Harmony brought her back, restored what is still possible to. But how much of old Nightmare Moon is still left in the current one?.. Alicorn clenched her jaw as hard as she could, rolling her cheeks and practically hearing her teeth creak as she tried to hold back the tears, that were coming and trying to not cry again. She has made a lot of mistakes in her life, but only this one has dragged her down so relentlessly and robbed her of the will to live. Because anything could be fixed, except... except death. Pulling out her dressing table drawer, Princess took out a piece of paper with a sloppy pencil inscription in the corner from under the brushes, tassels, and jars of various cosmetics: “Loneliness: the death of the mind” Pencil, paper Nightmare Moon 1000Y from N.M.B., Ponyville. She resisted the inexplicable urge to turn the sheet over to meet her eyes with the... drawing on the other side, and returned it to its place. She has discovered this creepiness almost by accident, when her feet, for some reason, had brought her to the guest quarters, where she and the black alicorn have last met, thinking about Nightmare and everything, that have happened recently. Why she opened the door and entered - Luna did not know. A month ago, when she had just returned, they would have seemed rich and worthy, and if not deserving a queen, then a Princess for sure. Now... One room, no shower. More a place to comfortably wait for an audience during the day, by modern standards, than suitable for permanent residence. An old wing of the castle, not often used... Nevertheless, it's tidy. The bed was made up without a single crease, the window sill gleamed with still fresh paint, there was no dust...nowhere, except the small table beside the bed, on which a sheet of paper stood out. The tabletop was lightly brushed along the edge, but in the middle, including on the sheet itself, the alicorn's keen eye easily spotted a layer of dust. The servants were clearly careful not to touch the paper, which seemed to have been left behind by a past inhabitant of these chambers. A message for Tia? Or... for her, Luna? She glanced at the sloppy, cursive pencil lines in Nightmare's now somewhat familiar handwriting, understanding only a bit, and realized only seconds later, that she has seen such signatures on artwork in the gallery. But why was it a thousand years and from some “N.M.B”, if by current calculation it is one thousand two hundred and fifty-eighth from the Founding of Equestria?.. Then Luna just shrugged with her wings. And, for her own misfortune, turned the sheet over... Princess sighed and pushed the drawer into the table with a clatter. The "plot" of that drawing has been in her dreams almost every night since then. About Nightmare, slowly and terribly going mad, gradually losing herself... Dying in silence and loneliness. “Sorry...” Luna panted barely audibly, dashing away her tears. For what time already... And these nightmares... Let them torture her further. That's... the right thing to do. Serves her right! She deserves this torment completely! After taking a few quick deep breaths to calm herself down, Princess hurriedly walked away from the mirror to the window and switched her thoughts. What good does it do to grieve now for something that cannot be changed, no matter how much we might want to?.. In these nightmares, she was able to remember at least some details - experience has not gone away, after all - and these details were disturbing. Dreams about the terrible fate of the black alicorn, betrayed by her own... creator were full of details. As if... as if the Nightmare, that clung to her... has taken them from somewhere? Could it really have been her memories? Unfortunately, Luna could not say anything specific about the capabilities of these parasites. During her active practice they were not so... cocky and strong. Alas, but dream-walking, which few have ever attempted to study before, now seemed to have been completely forgotten, and these spirits, meeting no resistance, were eating away at a frightening level, which a few dreamers and she herself had been previously preventing... In such circumstances, passing her knowledge on, now almost a dead weight, to Nightmare Moon, who, as she believed, has acquired the part of the talent, that was responsible for dreaming, became not only and not so much a desire of Princess to redeem a tiny fraction of her guilt by this act, but her direct duty... “But if there’s even a way?..” She mumbled under her breath uncertainly. How to pass them on if Nightmare Moon spared not her... murderer, but only Luna's sister? If the first and only reply letter, written in pencil with disdain, contained nothing but wishes to get lost and never write or remind of her "insignificant existence" again?.. Princess sighed frantically, trying to chase away the coming tears. No! No more regrets! With her lips firmly pressed together, Luna turned away from the window and, turning her horn on, summoned the servants with a slight magical manipulation. Awakening from her slumber, she should dress herself as a Princess and devote time to a morning meal, not to torment herself with gloomy thoughts! And maybe then, once she is calm, she would be able to think of something... ... Princess Luna mechanically twisted the last flower from the morning bouquet in front of her eyes, that hasn't been eaten yet. The thoughts in her head were again all gloomy and joyless... The idea of how to attract Nightmare here in Canterlot has, in fact, come up - although it did not stem from joyful factors either. The black alicorn, as far as Princess could tell, treated her sister, Tia, well. Otherwise she would have come out of the woods that dark night alone and without additional weight... Then she gave up her armor without objection, even if in many ways it was just to spite her, Luna... Finally, Cadence has recently mentioned, that Nightmare was clearly worried about Celestia in her letters. The idea stems from the fact, that by telling the bitter alicorn, that Tia needed help, she could hope to get her to come - and then, maybe, they could have some way to talk... The main problem here was that by saying "Tia needs help," Luna would not lie at all. Celestia pretended everything was all right, dodging questions, smiling, laughing... And her little sister couldn't shake the tingling feeling in her teeth of falsehood in all this. Something was wrong! Her sister was clearly sleep-deprived, and in her chambers, Luna has somehow come across an empty bottle of the strongest wine and some pills, something she has never seen before during her visits. No wonder, considering that Tia was more than skeptical about alcohol! She has also been trying her best lately to pay attention to her, Luna. At first it was a joy: finally, we could just be together! Hug her, talk about something, drink tea together, take a walk in the garden, take her mind off the loss of abilities, bad dreams and heavy thoughts... However, the further it went, the stranger and more intrusive Tia's attention became, and it was beginning to worry. And sometimes, it even began to scare. Stopping the rotation of the flower, Princess brought it closer to her eyes, examining the bud and inhaling the pleasant, appetizing smell, reaching her nostrils. She chased the thoughts away, cursed herself for feeling some underlying resentment from her sister's increased attention, called herself a vague, ungrateful fool... And then Tia was suddenly angry at another reminder of Nightmare's invitation, which, like alcohol, Luna has not seen her sister does since her return to Equestria. A sincere and fervent apology followed, but... And then Cadence came in and complained in a low voice, that something was wrong with Celestia lately. And then the commander of her guards, at the weekly report to her Great Mother, gnashing her teeth and gleaming eyes, reported, that she has heard from the chattering Sun Guards, that no thestrals would be in the castle anytime soon... It would have been foolish to continue denying a reality, that was only at first glance calm and serene, but inwardly felt like a gathering storm cloud. “Why don't you trust Us with your worries, sister?..” The Princess of the Night said thoughtfully into space and, returning the flower into the vase, got up from the table: there’s a history lesson soon, then a modern law lesson, and after that - a visit to the opera with Tia, and until the evening, there would be a lot - a lot - of attention from her side... ... “...And Glitter Glory? She was just great as Starfall! Best performance in eighty years! And the production itself!.. Oh, pure delight! The play was marvelous, wasn't it, sister? And Ice Breeze in the role!..” Her sister's raptures, which have not faded since the end of the applauses, were distant to Luna. The Princess of the Night nodded and played along half-mechanically, her mind somewhere far away from the theater. Attempts to take advantage of Tia's good spirits and try to draw out what was going on with her just before the start were once again unsuccessful. Again she joked, shrugged it off, and immersed herself in the action on stage ... or just pretended to. “Luna? Is everything alright?” “Y-yes.” The junior Princess shivered, resurfacing into the real world. “Just... Worried about... About Cadence. Is she doing well? Our communication has become very rare since she became your assistant in the board. And when she does manage to find time to visit me, her appearance is usually depressing and disturbing...” “When I trained her, I expected her, given time, to replace me if necessary... Unfortunately, she still lacks experience and... wisdom. Admittedly, I thought her training would be more complete and finished, but unfortunately not all of my lessons, as it seems, have proved useful.” The words "I'm disappointed" did not come out, but hovered distinctly in the air above Celestia, a thoughtful frown glancing over the passersby and the streets of the capital from the chariot's height. “Perhaps, you've loaded her with more than a young Princess can carry?” Luna couldn't hold a tough phrase. She was having a hard time of it herself, of course, but has she even seen Cadence during evenings?.. And she, Luna, hasn't been much of use yet! No matter how she wanted to help... The junior alicorn shamefully bit her tongue and drooped. The laws, the principles of management and business relations, etiquette - everything has changed, and the Princess of the Night, alas, was still sadly far away from mastering all this to even a little bit of degree, and she's barely capable of even doing the easiest work. “May be.” Celestia panted dully. Luna's ears perked tensely, unable to find anything to say. The pause lingered, playing on her nerves with increasing nervousness. “I can see something is troubling you, Lu." Sweeping gaze upon the interlocutor, the senior sister shook her head, breaking the unbearable silence between them. “And I'm afraid I'll have to leave you alone for most of the day tomorrow, my little moonbeam." The big white wing gently enveloped the nervous Princess of the Night. “Please don't blame Cadence for her inexperience, which is why I have to do this again, but if I don't go to the coming meeting with... Delegates of big businesses - they will shake off a lot more from Equestria than is currently allowed.” “Don't blame Cadence”?.. Luna looked at her sister with a loss. No, there was a certain logic to what she said... A very strange logic. Tia, saying this?.. She couldn't believe, that she could say... Like that. “Y-you... send her to me, then. Let her, uh... brighten up my wait until you get back?” The unnaturalness of her own smile made Luna's cheekbones ache. “Okay.” Surprisingly and quite sincerely, Celestia smiled back. “I'll try to do it as soon as possible, so that you won't get bored with my niece's company.” The Princess of the Night nodded and hurried to look away: it seemed, that something slipped in the tired pink eyes of her sister with reddish, ripped capillaries inside. *** “Fine... Get back to your work, Midnight.” Luna nodded to the pony, which ended her morning report. “Yes, Great Mother!” The mare bowed, but instead of leaving, remained hesitantly crumpled in place. “Does something bother you, my captain?” “Forgive me, Great Mother! What do I say to the others?” Luna glanced thoughtfully at the standing at attention night earthpony - a rarity even rarer than the thestrals-unicorns. There were fewer than a dozen of unicorns in her entire Night Guard, that includes eight dozens of soldiers. There is only one earthpony, and she's had a hard time, fighting to go so far from the mountains, where her race's talents were so highly valued. Alas, Midnight seemed to be an excellent deputy and a good manager - but the position of commander, which forced to be at the forefront of everything, seemed to weigh on her. Dark Whisper, on the other hand... Luna sighed softly. No matter how thestrals assured her, the power of the Princess of the Night over them was not so great. It was enough to save the former captain from death - but no more. And, more importantly, from what death!.. She was to be executed for obeying her, Luna's, direct order!...and putting the Great Mother's life in danger by not sending a squad to protect her then in the woods. They all understood and agreed, but no one dared to break the ancient laws, not even if she asked them to! And, finally, Whisper herself didn't seem to quite agree with staying alive instead of a "deserved" death, which stained her honor and her wing's honor with disgrace... Alicorn sighed again, put her foot to her forehead, wanting to feel the metal coolness of her shoe. Fortunately, that situation is now mostly successfully resolved. Princess did not let the unfortunate mare be killed by a personal order, making her aide-de-camp and now communicating with the guards mostly through her. Attempts to look at her as an empty space quickly ended after the failure to execute the orders, transmitted through her, and a grandiose reprimand for ignoring them with the shameful dismissal and sending home of especially "distinguished” ones. No longer did they dare to ignore Dark Whisper, and now they gradually and cautiously, but began to communicate, "remembering", that she was their commander and friend to many of them. Princess took the shoe away from her forehead, smiled at her thoughts - then shuddered, finding, that she was not alone, but in the company of Midnight, still frozen in place. “What... What are you doing here?..” “What should I say to the others, Great Mother?” “About?.. Oh...” Princess remembered the purpose of her current commander's visit, blushing embarrassedly. “You should have called me instead of just waiting for Our attention...” “I did not dare to interrupt your thoughts, Great Mother.” The earthpony bowed shortly. “Fine...” Luna muttered inappropriately, rising from the table and turning to the window to hide the treacherous blush of embarrassment on her cheeks. “It should be said... There are already murmurs and gossip going around the troops. Truly, a sharp object cannot be concealed in a sack of linen... If there are any questions for you, I allow you to tell me as it is without concealment.” “But Great Mother... All the sworn wings are certainly loyal to you, but... Even in your guard there are ponies with... different views. Some of them can leave and swear to her!” “As far as I know, Nightmare Moon will not accept their service. And if she does, she's no less worthy of it than We are! Off you go, captain.” “Yes, Great Mother." The guard bowed, hesitating for a moment, and then left the Princess's office immediately, shutting the massive door quietly behind her. Princess exhaled, feeling her tension release, and, returning back to the table, with her gloom thoughtfulness, stopped to look at the front page of the latest issue of “The capital evening”, with a satisfied and slightly haughty smile, which showed Nightmare Moon's fangs. A fashion show - who would have thought... Luna wiggled her ears thoughtfully. Demonstrating all sorts of outfits and not even to the nobles? Yes, of course, Princess has heard many times - and even personally observed evidence of it - that manners have become simpler, class differences were insignificant, and nobility does not play the role it was a while ago... But it was still hard to comprehend. But Nightmare didn't seem to care. If the paper was to be believed, she came out to the huge crowd easily and calmly, answered questions confidently... And there were her friends nearby, who understood her, accepted her, and were trying to help and support her now. Luna, sighing, turned over the sheet. The front page with Nightmare in focus was replaced by a picture of her, standing on the stage in a gorgeous dress, side by side with a vaguely familiar unicorn. "Rarity (left) and Nightmare Moon give a press conference following the fashion show. Photographer: Nice Try”. Rarity... One of the Elements, yes... On one side, she wanted to be happy for her... for Nightmare. That she was doing well, had friends, and looked happy and satisfied on pictures. Nightmare Moon had nothing, but pain in her soul and terror in the eyes of those around her - and she managed to overcome this. That's why it was both bitter and resentful at the same time, that she, Luna, living in the castle, has achieved nothing of this sort. She sat inside the walls, cramming for etiquette, law, history, while healing her own wounds... She failed miserably at the conference - unlike the black alicorn, who seemed to feel absolutely comfortable with the questions... Maybe it's not a surprise to still see your servants and guards’ astonished and wary gazes in the castle and have no friends ... No, of course there were Cadence, Dark Whisper, some teachers and nobles, physicians and such, who were amiable enough to have a few good conversations, but... Sighing again, Princess stopped her gaze, that was wandering senselessly over the paper. “NM: “Eternal night is... it has never been an end in itself for me. But the pony, for which it was needed, had demonstrated conclusively, that she did not deserve such an effort.” A line caught an eye. Abruptly rising, the alicorn stepped back to the window, trying to control the storm in her soul. ... “I’m happy to see you, Cadence!” Luna grabbed the alicorn before she could even squeak in her embrace. “How are you?” “I’m happy to see you as well.” She smiled faintly in response. “I’m feeling an acute desire to escape from the castle to work as an orphanage educator somewhere in the provinces.” “Let’s go. Feel at home.” The Princess of the Night waved invitingly, humming to herself at her guest's response. “An orphanage educator”... “Saw you on the flight deck today. How did you do?” The guest asked her right on the move. “Wait a little bit.” The blue alicorn smiled. “I'll tell you about the flights and today's history exam over tea...” “O-oa-a-ah!..” Cadence moaned absolutely in a non-aristocratic way as she collapsed onto the cushions on the living room floor as soon as they entered. “Maybe coffee?” The mistress of the chambers barely held her laughter. “And... Don't you want to say hello first?” “What?.. Oops!!!” The pink Princess, who noticed, that they were not alone in the hall only after these words, was thrown from the cushions like a catapult. “Excuse my... My...” “Cadence, this is Dark Whisper, my adjutant and the closest assistant. I told you about her." Luna introduced the unnoticed by the friend thestral with a chuckle, that she couldn't hold this time. “Nice to meet yo-ou.” The alicorn nodded, crimson as a tomato. “Dark, this is my named niece, Her Excellency Princess Mi Amore Cadenza.” “I know her, Great Mother.” She nodded abruptly, glancing suspiciously at her guest. “Acquainted in absentia.” “You can just call me Cadence.” The Princess of love corrected almost simultaneously with her. “Well... Now that all the formalities have been taken care of... Who prefers what? From the drinks?” Desperately nervous about the slight pause, Luna still tried to be a good hostess. Today she was determined not only to discuss plans and problems, but also to try to make friends out of acquaintances. After all, even Nightmare has real friends... ... “Don't worry so much, Luna." Cadence looked sympathetically at the clearly distraught Princess of the Night. “Someday they will definitely get over old grudges and become our friends!” “Grudges...” The black alicorn chuckled sadly. If only this young mare knew how many lives were ruined by these "grudges"... And good thing she doesn't. And it wasn't just them. No matter how hard she tried, Luna could not break the ice between Cadence and Dark. Maybe it was because the thestral herself, despite random moments of revelation, tried to keep a distance - it seems she cannot imagine a friend relationship between herself and the Great Mother... Princess sighed softly, glancing at the bowl with apple juice in it, having more than a half of its capacity filled. The faithful helper was as inconspicuous as possible, looking suspiciously at Cadence and with pitiful perplexity at Luna, and was clearly out of place, when she worked up the courage and decided to ask permission to leave, citing business reasons. “It would be great if so." Said the dark alicorn quietly, breaking the pause. “Tea?” She noticed the empty bowl before her interlocutor. “No, thanks. I've already drunk more of it than I weigh, I think." She chuckled in reply, making Luna smile, too. “Honestly - I'd rather sleep than have tea." The Princess of love tiredly exhaled. “Is the burden of governance heavy?” Luna tensed, feeling her worry for her friend and her wish, that she wouldn't go anywhere. Not now... “Well, that's what I was trained for, I think." Cadence smiled faintly. “I understand how to act, what to do, but this responsibility... It's hard when so much depends on you. And it's even harder when something happens that doesn't depend on you." She finished with grim thoughtfulness. The Princess of love took a sip from the bowl, hiding a bitter chuckle behind it. It’s so familiar... For a while, only the ticking of the clock and the curtain, flapping in the draught, disturbed the silence. “Luna... Do You... Do you talk with your sister... What's the matter with her? She's been... almost scaring me lately." The young alicorn broke the silence, lowering her voice reflexively. Luna chuckled sadly again. She wanted to know... “I assume she doesn't say any more to me than she says to you. “Everything is fine, there is nothing to worry about”.” “But... But why?!..” “I don't wit.” The Princess of the Night shook her head gloomily. “And it is not only you, who are afraid of her appearance and her words in the recent times... Many things have happened to her in these days that in the days of yore We could not even think of!” “Princess...” Cadence pressed her ears against the head pitifully. “Can you be not so loud, please?..” “Sorry.” Frightened, Luna pressed her hoof to her lips. She almost switched to the Canterlot Voice in the heat of the moment... “Just... I’m worried. It's as if Tia is afraid to move away from me: she's always trying to be near me, spending time with me... I love her and would also like to be together more often, but... but not to make it seem like... obsessive mania!” She ended with emotions. “Maybe she needs some help?..” “She definitely does. I... In all the time I've spent with her side by side, I don't remember my sister ever consumed alcohol other than when tradition or good manners demanded it. She can't stand the taste or the intoxication that follows, with its obnubilation and loss of control over yourself! And then I noticed a bottle of strong wine and some pills of medicine in her bedroom..." With a sigh, Luna returned the empty bowl to the low table - she was twisting this bowl mechanically in front of her after taking her last sip. “Wine and pills...” The Princess of love rubbed her forehead thoughtfully. “A familiar combination.” “A familiar one?!..” “The recipe is widely known in narrow circles." Cadence chuckled sadly. “I've seen wine and pills on my aunt's bedroom dressing table before, about two decades ago, in the middle of my studies and mastering my alicorn abilities, when she was just very... worried about... Nightmare Moon's return." The pink alicorn glanced apologetically at her interlocutor. “In some combination, it, with pain and misery, helps to get a good night's sleep, if you are suddenly haunted by nightmares every night.” Luna pursed her lips. No, it didn't take much to guess that Tia was having nightmares, but every night? And the kind that made her have to get drunk in order to get "some" sleep?.. And the next second, a thought rushed into her head, making her freeze, staring into nothing. It seemed to be the same thing with Nightmare! The words of the black alicorn's accusations about the constant nightmares also came to mind. It had come to the point, where she had met her, Luna, hoping... for a fight... that she would not survive?.. And yet... Nightmare was angry, that she met no resistance from her, and then she tossed the glaive to her, offering to "make things right"!.. The glaive... How could Nightmare Moon understand such a gift as anything other than a challenge in that situation, knowing that Luna was a sleepwalker? "Do you dread my nightmares? Come and die in battle, if you don't want to surrender!” She needed another gift - but what, when the weapon she had once loved was the only thing that fully belonged to her, Luna, here in the changed world?... It doesn't matter now. What does matter, is that the nightmares had driven the unfortunate alicorn to the point of wanting to end them at all costs. “She saw me as the cause of these nightmares - and she came to fight it, not even hoping to win, but only wanting to... to end it?.. What was her despair?..” Luna spoke softly out loud, without even noticing it and making her companion wince in surprise. “And where might these nightmares lead Celestia to?..” “Do you think that everything can be so bad?..” Concerned Cadence carefully touched the frozen in thoughts interlocutor. “I’m alright.” She answered a little bit slowly and inappropriately, blinking and staring at the friend with an anxious gaze. “We have to help Celestia. It will only get worse, and ... I dread the end to which it is about to come. Answer me! Did Nightmare Moon mention in her messages the terrors of the night, that troubled her?” “No.” The guest's reflexively pressed ears made Luna wince with embarrassment. “She even mentioned, that she hasn't had any trouble sleeping lately... It’s you, who helped her, didn't you?” Luna rose to her feet with a sigh. She walked, feeling the nap of the carpet caressing the pads of her feet, and froze, looking somewhere through her own reflection in the mirror on the wall. Cadence followed her with a gaze, full of wary concern. “Alack, I didn't.” The Princess of the Night finally dropped the word. “I've been showed to feel the difference between skill and true talent, which I am no longer worthy of, and am therefore deprived of. Strength and knowledge are now insufficient to protect even myself from the horrors of the night... to the fullest extent." She finished, stumbling. The young Princess doesn't need to know, that the damned alicorn has not really even thought about defending herself... “Do you have nightmares, too?!” Cadence still clung to the words. “Now and then. But doesn't matter it now! The important thing is that Nightmare inherited talent of mine, as my sister and I thought. But... There’s no one, except me, to teach her that, even if she agrees to bring help to everyone. But I’m disgust to her to the bottom of her heorte...” Luna drew the line, drooping. “I tried to write about You... About you, really!” The Princess of love said. “But she just doesn't reply on this...” “And will not respond to my invitation to come here either. But maybe she will respond to yours?” Luna turned back to the guest with hope. “Is it mandatory? Well, I mean, you said yourself, that auntie seemed to shy away from the idea of inviting her here..." She fastened her speech in response to the blue alicorn's frown at her first words. “The same way sister will be in disgust if I go to Nightmare myself.” The Princess of the Night walked around the hall, whipping herself with her tail. "I know of no other way to teach other than in person, therefore it mōste be done as soon as possible.” “I'm sorry if I don't understand something." The pink pony also got to her feet, watching Luna, nervously pacing back and forth. "But... Maybe your worries are groundless? Yes, this time the nightmares clearly went further and lasted longer than I remembered then, but they can't last long enough to...” “They can!” The Princess of the Night turned to her friend sharply, stopping her pace. “I... I have a feeling that this nightmare will not leave itself. It torments my sister, finding the footprint of a mighty alicorn in the world of dreams, broken in spirit and therefore vulnerable to its insatiable tentacles... It has found Nightmare, and through dreams and memory it was able to reach Celestia by finding her imprint in the world of dreams. It will not leave so easily - it will continue to gorge, until We bring Our spirit to rest, as Nightmare managed, having met me...” “We bring?” Cadence narrowed her eyes, forcing Luna to bite her tongue belatedly. “Do you have the same degree of the problem?” “It doesn't matere!” “It does!” The Princess of love looked sternly up at her from below. “Don't mention it during asking Nightmare for help. You will only anger her.” Turning back, the junior alicorn grumbled. “And... I’m overcoming this. My skills are still with me...” “You just said you don't even have enough for yourself." Alicorn frowned. “I’ll think of something... Come to an agreement, maybe...” Cadence gave her friend, that was clearly hiding something, a long glance and shook her head incredulously. “For now it is necessary to help Celestia, and I see no other way, than to invite Nightmare Moon here and persuade her to accept my teachings to master her gift and our immaterial enemy to overcome. “ Luna hurried to summarize, before the conversation again went somewhere wrong. “And thou art the only hope in this. My sister will oppose it, and my words will only make Nightmare angry...” “I... I’ll think of how to persuade her. I promise.” ... Princess Luna walked wearily along the barely marked paths of the castle garden, accompanied by the crackling of insects, the whistling and trilling of birds, and the dense scents of flowers. Although the Sun was still on its throne, at the zenith, nature, as if anticipating the imminent sunset, has already reorganized itself for the evening mood: cicadas were ringing, which could not be heard during the day, and the flowers smelled especially long and sweet in the almost immovable windlessness, that reigned among the trees and bushes of the garden. Alas, the peace of this place, in search of which Princess has arrived, was now alien to her own soul, and despite the quiet comfort of the garden, something was still gnawing at her heart, forcing to press her lips together or whip her sides by her own tail in time with her thoughts now and then. The conversation with Cadence went well, her ability to persuade Nightmare to come and maybe even talk to her, Luna, was quite believable, but... What's next? The most minimal training, according to the initial estimates, would take at least three months. There was, however, one idea... But it implied a certain contact of minds, which required a great deal of trust, which Nightmare has none at all. Even if she agreed to learn at first, wouldn't a categorical refusal follow when she learned of the training methods?.. And then there was her sister, who has clearly seen things in her bad dreams, that made her reluctant to see Nightmare Moon in the castle, against even her own words earlier... It didn't seem like a serious problem for a few days - after all, Luna owned an entire self-sufficient wing of the castle, which, thanks to her guards, has very limited access - but she would have to hide her... guest for weeks, at least. And she would have to do this during daily and very long visits from Celestia, as well as the teachers of Luna herself, the doctors, who monitor her health, some servants... However, there was a shy hope, that the sister, put before fait accompli, could be persuaded... “Greetings, Your Highness. I... Could you give me a few minutes of your attention?” “Prince Blueblood?..” Luna shuddered at the sudden frowning voice behind her in the silence of the evening garden. “Greetings, Your Grace...” She said a crumpled hello, turning to the unicorn. Another pony, who has suffered because of her fault... She was even a little relieved, when the intrusive Prince stopped paying attention to her and pestering her with unpleasant questions until Cadence told her how he felt about her emotional confession. “How may I help you?” Princess said with a barely audible sigh, lowering her gaze. What, besides her words, could the unicorn, that respected her so much and was crushed by the bitter truth, want to discuss? “I want to know the truth! Why, Your Highness?!..” Blueblood, despite not rising his voice, was clearly not in control of his emotions. “Why did I oppose my sister?” Luna asked, still looking at the grass beneath her feet without seeing the Prince's uncertain nod. But she didn't need to - there was only one thing he could ask about. How out of time it is now... Should she say? “It's between me and her, Your Grace." - and he's out of the way... A seducing thought. Unfair one. An attempt to escape the responsibility. “You never gave a heck about anybody but yourself!” The bitter words from tonight's dream, thrown to her by the fake Nightmare, came to mind. The echo of what was read between the lines in the words of real Nightmare, who suffered so cruelly... Dead because of her, Luna, her selfishness, her, as it happened, avoidance of responsibility!.. No. She would not run again! “Egoism.” Princess looked up and spoke, when it started to seem to Blueblood, that she was not going to answer at all. “Celestia was drowning in work, and all I cared about was that I was lonely. That her work was more appreciated than mine. That her day was enjoyed more than my night, and...” “Blueblood, leave us, please. I want to be alone with my sister.” The unicorn and the alicorn shuddered at the sudden tone of the voice, from which a chill went down their spines, turning their heads towards risen Celestia on the porch as neither of them noticed her appearance. “Yes, auntie.” The Prince, frowning, replied almost through gritted teeth, and casted a gloomy glance at Luna, which blended so weirdly with his curly golden mane and large blue eyes, and reluctantly left the garden, walking past the older alicorn and carefully closing the door from the inside. “Explain yourself!” Luna demanded as her sister came down and approached her. “I can't see you dishing on yourself." Celestia nudged the younger alicorn with a wing as she walked past and stopped, stepping out of the shade of the trees and exposing her face to the Sun. “You have no reason to worry and be given to self-torture at all!” “Dishing on yourself...” Luna mumbled sadly as she glanced at Tia, and then, frowning, turned resolutely to follow her when the last phrase came out: “And whether I have reasons or not - let me decide for myself! And if I wished to reveal the truth about my miserable and lost life to a deceived and poor pony, then it is my decision! And it is not appropriate for you to interfere, especially in so rude and arrogant way!.. “ The Princess of the Night shamefully cut herself off as she realized, that she had suddenly snapped in the most pathetic way, even to herself, and instead of trying to make a remark only, she practically yelled at her sister. “I realize, that Blueblood's deceived, exalted imaginary figure is in some ways the result of my decision, and I'm sorry that he took it so personally, but it doesn't seem to me a good enough reason for such concern." Celestia said, finally turning around as Luna cursed her long tongue, ready to fall through the ground in shame. “My nephew should be able to cope with the frustrations of life on his own, without your sacrifices! Because I'd like to see my little sister happy and content with life, not constantly frowning and immersed in self-torturing thoughts." Celestia, turning around, smiled at despondent Luna, coming closer to her and stroking her mane. The smile, which for some reason suddenly seemed like a patronizing smirk, almost made Luna recoil. What things can be seen because of constant lack of sleep... The chill, that ran down her spine, was sobering, though, and it made her remember the reason for her breakdown, on which - even if sister’s words are disregarded - Tia reacted... so unexpected and strange. The words themselves ... What are these disgusting nightmares doing to her?.. “Happy?” The Princess of the Night sniffed, recoiling back. “There can be no place of joy for any normal pony, that bears the burden of as many mistakes, lies, blood, and betrayals as I do! And how can I find peace and joy otherwise than by atoning for my guilt, and making amends for what can still be made right?” “Luna!..” “... And if you really want to help me in this - do your word and call Nightmare Moon to your court, so that!..” “No!” The Canterlot voice practically knocked the air out of the younger Princess's chest, stopping her mid-word. Celestia, squinting eyes sternly, seemed to smell of heat. “And you should not raise your tone at me!” “As thou shouldest!” The Princess of the Night shook her mane stubbornly - almost angrily, getting rid of the blue strand, that has fallen out of her disheveled hair and trying to get rid of the ringing in her ears at the same time. “Explain yourself now, and don't try to dodge it: what is the very good reason why Nightmare Moon has no place in the town of yours?” “She's dangerous, Luna! And first of all for you! Or do you really think she'll calm down and you won't be in any more danger?!” Celestia spoke quietly, frozen in a tense pose and drilling her younger sister with a heavy, tired look from under her brows. “You spoke differently about her earlier!” The Princess of the Night lowered her voice reflexively as well. “Earlier I've never had to mourn my sister's death, never expecting to see her alive in the morning! Luna, I...” The snowy alicorn paused, staring down at her feet in somber thoughtfulness. “No. No, and I don't want to hear anything about Nightmare! My unreserved mercy nearly cost you your life once, and it won't happen again! No one dares to take you away from me!” Steel glared in the raised stare towards the younger Princess. “Then I’ll invite her myself.” Luna dropped gloomily, passing by sister to the entrance. There's nothing more to talk about. “You can’t!..” Tia gasped in indignation as she turned around to see her. “I forbid you to do this!” This is how it goes, huh?.. “Wasn't it you, who assured me in this very garden a little over a month ago, that I could do anything here, even demand your throne, so that I could rule myself? So that was only a sweet geligre, wasn't it?..” The Princess of the Night’s voice rang like a string, ready to break, her eyes shined suspiciously. “But!.. “I...” Celestia, frowning for a moment as she remembered, clamped her ears in fright as the right memory finally came to mind. “Wait!...” “I am still your equal and can do what I think necessary without your permission, even if your promises are false!” The Princess of the Night turned around as she opened the door. “And if you think you have the right to frighten me with bans and lie to my face, I forbid you to come into my chambers, and I do not wish to communicate with you from now on, until I hear your apologies!” Without waiting for a reaction, Luna turned away and hurriedly crossed the threshold and slammed the doors. The sigh, that escaped from her chest into the cool air of the high castle corridor after a few endless seconds was more like a sob: the outburst of anger was fading rapidly, replaced by shame and anger at herself. Yes, her sister is guilty before her, but... But did it really have to be that way?.. “Stars!.. What have I done?..” Hurriedly brushing the moisture from her eyelashes, Luna, slipping on the polished marble floor, practically ran to her chambers. ...And on the other side of the door, slumped limply on the grass, Celestia was silently swallowing her tears, and despite all her efforts and desperate attempts to always be there for her, she - her sister - has just chosen the company of a monster... into hooves of which she pushed her by her own doings.
44. A Holiday is Coming To UsAuthor's Note "It's good when you have friends!" Original author's note. Estral cycle - the ponies' analog of the menstrual cycle. 44. A Holiday is Coming To Us The white substance, which I crumpled thoughtfully in my hooves, was springing up in an interesting way, gradually forming into... something. I don't know.. I didn't have a lot of ideas - I just decided not to get in someone's way as an unsettled shadow, but to get away as far as I can and maybe experiment... Why not try sculpting from the cloud I’m sitting on? However, this somewhat meditative process did not interfere with my thoughts and memories at all. A little more than a week has passed since the fashion show, and so many things have changed... Yes... The show, as they say, "skyrocketed". Poor Rar has been living almost on energy drinks since its end: now she has orders for a couple of months ahead... But if I do not drag her away from the sewing machine and do not transport my friend, which says something in an absolute indignation, to the kitchen for food, she probably would have been dead already. But in general, everyone participated as much as they could. Spike and Sweetie took care of the market and shopping, Fluttershy and I cooked, Applejack and Pinkie brought the already cooked food from home... The other ponies helped with the small stuff, too. Generally, everyone, who had at least a little bit of indifference, was trying to help with anything they could to the literally over-sewing Ice Cream. My result from the show was that I had a collection of my own fashionable dresses, including eight pieces, and my purse began to gradually fill up at the expense of the percentage from sales. Well, I've paid off my debt for the house I blew up in one day... I've also gained some fans. Well - fans?.. They basically stopped to go round me by arcs and greeted me in the streets; there were far more studying and interested glances, and far fewer nervous, tense, and frightened ones. The shopkeepers in the stores and the market stopped trembling and scattering as well... No wonder, I guess: all the local Ponyville papers still had my patronizingly smiling face on the front page. There have already been requests for exclusive interviews from various - so far, mostly local - publications: apparently, many liked the idea of that guy from the capital with a funny accent. I was in no hurry to agree. First of all, where were you before, living with me in the same urban-type settlement with not that big size at all? This guy from the capital came here just because of gossips and rumors! He’ll have all the cards for now, and you can pass by afterwards, when the right mood comes... Second of all, I was a bit busy, so even with Discovery, who came to see me three days later with an anticipatory fire in his tenacious yellow-green eyes and with a ready contract from his publication, we basically only "agreed to make arrangements" and limited ourselves to a framework agreement "sometime in the next couple of months". Besides helping Rar, I was busy making jewelry and sculptures to make Flutty happy. How cute she is, after all! And how she will blush, squeak and fight back when I would make a full-fledged version, not this clumsy props! I have been shining with my horn and gritting with my neck - even had to dive into the lunar memories a few times! But damn it, it was worth it! Flutty, when she's shy and panicking at the same time - man, it's unbelievable by its cuteness sight! And I look forward to seeing it again once I'm more familiar with the magic! The thought of a gift for Fluttershy has been a bit on the back burner lately, but I haven't forgotten about it. As soon as the fashion festival was over and I had some free time, I got to work. I walked to the foothills and got some sturdy stone, bought an old rusty coal iron for cheap from a junk man, grudgingly searched my memory for the topic about shield - alas, I never got the hang of it, had to go with a thick tempered glass as a shield - and rolled up my sleeves. I spent a week sculpting, until it came out so that it would not be embarrassing. I had to find some more rocks, from the metal things - iron had died, a pile of rusty horseshoes, some incomprehensible scrap metal... and on the fifth day, Eagle Eye noticed, that there was no wall in the prison. Idiot... I spent four days converting metal, but I had a lot of money in my wallet at the same time. Then I spent some time to figure out how to break the spell on the coins, and I ended up with a decent pile of usable gold. Melt and apply... Yeah... When a month - or already two? - ago, when I tried to do it for the first time, building a mini-Stonehenge on the shore of the lake - I almost got stuck on the most primitive things. But now I could feel that my magical health was gradually returning to normal. However, I personally had no great and well mastered experience with little things, so that "hairpin in the form of a leaf" came out as a big shiny thingy, weighing about three hundred or four hundred grams. Good hairpin! Reliable, big, beautiful! The main thing is not to drop it on the foot... In general, I paid the jeweler extra money and exchanged this "most curious installation" for a normal, professionally made hairpin, which had been made for a day. At the same time, I couldn't resist creating a statue of Fluttershy. It was in the best to put on a shelf, a little crooked - my own personal experience, despite my best efforts, was not enough - but still quite recognizable and, most importantly, quite generously gilded. And with a bow, I handed it over to the pegasus, who then, squawking, shyly fought back until I left... I laughed, remembering the unforgettable expression on the face of the pony, to which I gave the gift. I did not want to, but she just did not leave a choice with her cuteness: I’m going to build a statue of her in the middle of the town! Just to look at the reaction! And in the midst of all this motion there was another significant event straight from the canon, which, thanks to my humble person, went smoothly and therefore - unnoticed: in the town, with her faithful van, arrived the Great and Powerful Tr-rixie! Found a window - since it was evening - and went everyone else to watch it. And damn it, the magician knows her business very well! I was familiar with most of the tricks from my previous life, but I wasn't bored anyway. But still, she was accepted like... without a flame. It did not hold up against the just thundered and still hotly discussed and remembered fashion show in the public perception. The unicorn worked her program with concentration and professionalism, with an “A” as her mark. I liked her performance, didn't expect that. She can - and what she can! I even put a few coins aside in my mind for this case. The traditional self-congratulations and humiliating "duels", which the goat-like self-confident little pony liked to show off, evaporated from her head along with her self-confidence at the same moment, as soon as someone - either thin or round from the pair of foals circling next to me - asked after her assurances of victory if the Great and Powerful could defeat someone more substantial. With an alicorn, for instance... The trickster answered affirmatively, turning her head towards the voice... where she stumbled upon my figure. With my wings spread for the situation, lest me be mistaken for some unicorn. Man, in all my life I've probably never seen such an "Oh, fu..!" look on someone's face as on the poor storyteller's at that moment! It took a lot of effort not to burst into laughter, but I made it. I smiled from ear to ear. Trixie swallowed, muttering something like "Nah, alicorns? You found the worst to compare a mere pony with.” Wiped away the cold sweat - and hastened to wrap up her performance with fireworks. And that’s all folks. Bowing and getting the fairly earned coins, the magician disappeared from Ponyville in the morning without making fun of anyone or quarreling with Twilight and the town. She would not get the alicorn amulet as well now: why does she need it?.. And also... “Howdy, Night!!!” I was suddenly pulled out of my thoughts by an enthusiastic, familiar voice. What?.. I stared dumbly at the figure in my hooves, carved from a piece of cloud. At the cloud itself. I turned my gaze to the speaker - Pinkie waved back amiably. Wait... Only after a few seconds (Pinkie kept smiling and waving the whole time) my brain finally switched on, and I noticed a sheaf of white, blue, and blue balloons above the unexpected guest. My brain turned back off, I shook my mane, set the figure aside, rubbed my eyes, sighed. How much longer will I have to get used to the twists and turns of this world, huh?.. It seems normal, serious, but then you see something, that turns you off for a few seconds... But the fact that I, a two and a half meters tall from hooves to the end of the horn horse, that weighs not-so-light more than a forth of a tonne, lie on a cloud of water vapor hundreds meters above the ground is already normal, yes?.. “Hi, Pinks.” I replied, drawing the line for my thoughts by chuckling under my breath. “Phew, finally! I’m tired of waving already!” The pony dashed away the fake sweat from the forehead. “I've been-been thinking, and then I understood, that I don't know! And these things cannot be unknown, right? So I rushed to find you, to find out! We’re friends! And to not know these things is even more forbidden than just forbidden!..” “Cool down, Pinkie.” I asked wistfully, momentarily lost in the crackle of the almost vibrating pastry chef. “What happened?..” “I’m asking you: when is your birthday!” She screamed. “What if it’s tomorrow, and I'm not ready?! What if it already passed, and I didn't know and didn't congratulate you?!..” My birthday, nice joke... I chuckled with sadness, turning away. The human one has been wiped out from my memory. Nightmare had not appeared at once, and the very first memories were very vague and incomplete, consisting mainly of emotions and images... And what birthday can a tool have? I remembered my very out of place analogy about myself and Luna. “I don't have any birthday.” I waved away in answer gloomily. “But you can look for a nameplate somewhere on me with the date of manufacture, useful life and method of disposal of the product after the expiration of that.” My mood sank all at once, and I suddenly didn't want to talk. The Element of Laughter, God damn it... Whenever we meet, it suddenly becomes absolutely not funny... “You don't read the Luna's letters, do you?” Absolutely surprising question sounded quietly. “Why should I?” I mechanically rubbed the cloudy figure under my feet back into the cloud, watching with melancholy as it disappeared, blending in with the general mass. "So, I'm piling it up, without even a reason. Burning it is just... Awkward, I guess.” I chuckled at the absurdity of what I just said. Stupid? Stupid. But... What a bullshit... “If Princess didn't care about you, would she write them without even getting a response?” as if rhetorically, Pinkie asked in a very serious tone. “So - no need to make up any tools! You're a normal, beautiful, wonderful pony, who should definitely have a birthday!” She drew the conclusion by cheering back up sharply. “I don't remember, really...” I mumbled, struggling with the silly thoughts, that Pinkie might be right about Luna... “Well, then I can come up with it myself, okay? Okay? Silence means consent! Yeah! Thanks!” The pony, which was hanging on the balloons, clip-clopped its front hooves before I could get a word in edgewise. “What about the day you came back from the Moon? No, that wasn't you there... Then the day we met face to face in the Castle of the Two Sisters? Oh, it’s probably not a pleasure to remember for you, isn't?.. Then maybe the next day you woke up in Canterlot, when you was a Princess Celestia’s guest?.." “Hold your horses!” I sighed, tugging the pastry chef by the tail with my magic. Her unrestrained enthusiasm makes me nervous sometimes... “Let me think.” “Oki-doki-loki! I'll let you!” Pinks smiled, dashing her smile away by a gesture as if she was zipping her mouth. The balloons gleamed with agreement in the Sun on their rubber sides. Pinkie... I shook my head. But not about her now. About the birthday... I had no memory of dates from the past to which I could attach it. Now... what could be more logical, really, than inscribing my birthday on the date I came into the world? Empress of the Eternal Night, born on the longest day of the year... I chuckled. And not much happy had happened to me that day, not to begin with the fact that I was killed. And on the other hand... It is not pleasant for a child to be born: it was warm, dark and nourishing, but now it is cold, bright and they slap your ass. Doesn't make for the happiest memory, heh... “What's the shortest day in the year do you have?” Pinks shook her mane wordlessly. Well, I thought so. We have the longest one because it's a tradition and a holiday, and the rest are as Tia likes. If she oversleeps, it will be the shortest, if she doesn't, it won't... Okay... What about the date? Twentieth? Twenty first? Twenty second? Or when the?.. Ah, I don't give a heck, actually. I don't see any other date that fits. “You got me. Sign it on on the solstice day." I waved my front foot with a chuckle. “Nice! Thanks! I have to tell everyone right away!” Pinkie pulled one balloon from her "bouquet" and handed it to me, then waved her hoof and raced off to the ground, leaving me to sit in prostration with the balloon, floating by my side, taken purely by a reflex. “Smile!” It turned that inscription to me in a gust of wind. I smiled against my will. A purple one... Strange, she did not have these in her kit. And how did she even hang in place without rising further?.. “Pinkie...” I mumbled and, shaking head, rose to the feet, clinging the string of the balloon to the bags and stepped off the cloud. *** “... It can’t be!” “I'm sorry, but even if I knew something, it's far from certain that... I could tell you something!” I walked back and forth, whipping my side with the tail. Twilight watched at me with gloomy alertness. She doesn't know, yeah, of course... She keeps on watching, even unobtrusively starting to be successful in it, stamping reports to the highest ranks, getting new tasks, and she doesn't know a thing, not even a little bit! Yeah. And your gaze on me is getting heavier and more suspicious every day on its own, too. It reacts to the weather. There's something very wrong with all this... Tia hasn't replied to any of my letters. Wish she'd let me know what is wrong with at least one line! And then there was the occasional worry in Cadence's letters when it came to her... Damn it! Celestia keeps dead silence, her student looks at me like a wolf, Cadence chooses her words carefully, when she talks about her aunt, and I just sit here, having no control over anything. And can't understand anything. I can't anything! Abyss! “Are there still no letters for me either?” “What if?..” “No.” You can literally read in Twilight's eyes: “Get the hell out already!” “Fine.” I, stopping my rush half-step, sighed. “That's something at least...” Twi looked at me with a frown. “I will not interfere with my work. Say hi from me to Princess.” The door slammed shut, almost pinching my tail as I crossed the threshold of the library. The wind was a dense pillow in my face, and it blew my mane away, killing Sweetie's efforts to make her look decent this morning. Yeah, it's uncomfortable today... On Earth I'd say: “There will be a thunderstorm”. Maybe it will be?.. Damn, I didn't check the weather report in the paper this morning. Where do I go now? Rar, when she woke up, suddenly started cleaning the house, flatly refusing my help and almost directly sent me out for a walk, so that return to "Carousel" probably makes no sense, I guess. Should I stop by Pinkie's? Bite some cakes, talk a little... I'd have been mad at her yesterday if she hadn't managed to fill my head with all sorts of... nonsense about Luna. Just came out of nowhere, damn it: “Don't think of yourself as a tool!” I'll figure out who's who myself! I understand - she wants to help, but if not her words about... “Hey, Nightmare.” The mare's voice, with its distinctive huskiness, made me turn around in surprise. I stared silently at the person who has interrupted my thoughts, trying to understand what she suddenly wanted from me. “Hey, yeah.” She grinned nervously and rubbed the back of her head, rumpling her disheveled mane even more. “I just... Wanted to talk.” And here's the question - why, ay?.. “Well, talk.” I moved my wing indefinably. I feel it in my guts - she's preparing some dirty things! Why would she... “I... Whew, rotten h-hay... I... Well... I wanted to apologize!” What?.. You? Before me? I rubbed my forehead in light prostration. Blinked. The sad image of Rainbow Dash, trying to look anywhere but at me, didn't go anywhere. “Don't pretend you didn't hear me, trying to force me to say it again!” She ruffled her feathers in response to the lingering silence. “Well, at least you look like yourself now," I grinned back, getting back into the reality. “And why am I so honored today?” “Shut up, would ya?” She asked glumly, giving me another chuckle. “I’m already sick of it! Yeah, I kind of screwed up and everything... I couldn't help it - and it was, you know, stupid and... and wrong and... A-argh! Horses’ apples, why is it that hard?!..” Dash kicked her hoof irritably. “The heck are you smiling at?! It’s you who made me angry, you know?!..” I clenched my teeth and suppressed a laugh, bursting out of my throat and hid a chuckle by tilting my head. Damn, these awesome “apologizes” - just bring it to the House of Weights and Measures!.. “What are you laughing at, black scarecrow?” Dash became angry - she heard the sobs of my carefully hidden laughter, glaring angrily with her ruby eyes. “Happy, yeah?! Got what you need?! Choke with these apologizes!” “Do you know what your problem is, painted girl?” Ending laughter, I asked with a thoughtful and phlegmatic bit of laziness. “You think I’m hostile towards you. But in reality I don't even care what do you think of me. If you want to fight - well, off you go, you will be the one to blame when a problem occurs. If you want to apologize and start everything over - you can try, I’m not against it. In a particularly sentimental state of mind today, I'm quite prepared to forgive you even an attempted murder." “Murder?!.. Ehm, you are... What?.. What are you talking about?..” Rainbow staggered back, raising her eyes to me, her eyes rounded in shock. “I?!.. No, I admit - I've crossed the line with the bolt, but I would never!... No-no-no, what are!.. I wouldn't!..” “You took out me, an alicorn. For a few seconds, but still.” I reminded, looking at the shocked pegasus harshly. “What if you did it with a unicorn, for example?..” “But you're not a unicorn!” She tried to clear herself. “And you didn't give Gilda a relaxing massage either, if I remember correctly! She said you would have beaten her... To death, if Flutty hadn't...” “Yeah, it was an overkill.” I cringed. “But we've made peace.” “Hah, I've had an overkill, too!” Suddenly, Dash gave a short chuckle nervously. “So... Are we going to bury the hatchet or what?..” “As I already said - I’m not against it.” I brushed my mane, which was blown away by a gust of wind onto my eyes, and, making an inviting gesture, walked leisurely down the road, just to not stand in one place. Rainbow joined up, hesitating. “But after "You're fooling everybody, I'm going to expose you!" it seems strange for some reason.” “Don't think I’ll take my words back!” She looked at me provocatively. “I just, ehm... I was persuaded to give you a chance and to make sure that you're not such a bogey for real, but I’ll keep an eye on you, got it?” “And you apologized to give me a chance.” “Yes!.. I mean... Hey!” Dash got up indignantly. “It is not related at all! I just... Just thought I did some bad things and... Argh, why should I have to justify myself to you?!” “Well, if you don't want to - don’t do.” I shrugged with my wings. “Are you good with Scoot?” The pegasus drooped instantly and became somewhat dull. “No, heck no, we're not good!” She swung in a long stride and kicked a fluffy dandelion, growing by the roadside with feelings, leaving a lone stalk, sticking out in a scattering cloud of fluff. “I was looked at by half the town after that day as... a worse villain than you, just for your information! Even Twi, though she can't stand you, screwed my ears about how wrong it was and that I should apologize! And here you are with your accusations about loyalty!.. Hay, why?!.. Horse apples... Scoot's like my sister! She didn't really have anybody but me and a couple of ponies, which cared about her - do we really have to mention that drunken snot her father turned into after her mother died? And now she's told me straight out, that she doesn't want to see me until I make peace with you...” I see it now... “Damn it! I don't know how to apologize, I really don't!” The pegasus' voice took on some desperate, pitiful tones. “Listen, I’m really sorry about the crap I've made! I hit you with all my force just to... Just to get the anger out, I guess... Just like that, in the middle of the street, as... as... Ah, screw it! I’m an idiot, I really am! Sorry!..” “You know... I'm no better at apologizing than you are, but Celestia has forgiven me far more serious and complicated things...” A gloomy weather with a strong gusty wind, that shook my mane, the measured clatter of hooves on a deserted road somewhere on the outskirts of town, with a poor daredevil, who had found troubles... For some reason it all drew me to revelations. “So... Why don't I give you a chance?” I paused, turned to the pegasus, and held out my hoof. “Really?” Dash looked at me suspiciously, swinging her wing to shield herself from the force of the wind. “Cannot be more real.” I replied with a chuckle. “Finally! Thanks!” She enthusiastically clank it with hers. “Hey, just don't think I’m not seriously or whatever!.. Just... Well, I really have made some stupidities, I’m sorry and stuff...” The mare waved her wings nervously. “I believe you for some reason.” I moved down the road again, moving my wing indefinably. “Just don't think of doing it again. And if you try to use that apology of yours to stab me in the back...” “You know, I thought about what you said about loyalty!” Rainbow threw an indignant look at me. "That's why I came. So in the back - definitely not. But do not think that the warning would give you time to prepare!” ... I was returning home in the evening, limping on my unfortunate during a landing leg, which was already almost fine. "Home," heh... To “Carousel”. The mood after meeting Dash was to do something a little crazy. I stood there, squinting, facing the blows of the wind and, as always in this weather, regretting, that I didn't have a fancy raincoat to flutter behind me, making me look epic and heroic. I spread my wings - I have a hell of a look even without it!.. The wind willingly walked over them, gently ruffling my oddly shaped feathers, as if inviting me to get off the ground and try to fight it up there in the air. And I didn't want to refuse it. The flight was exhausting, every second I had to fight to continue it, but this fight with the nature was incredibly satisfying. The flight played with new colors, my own small successes in it inflamed the heat somewhere inside, making my lips spread in a smile by themselves. A few times I almost fell, flying really low, but, most importantly, I made it! Only the landing itself was a bit tough, though, because I hadn't grouped my legs properly when I tried to regain my balance after an unsuccessful turn, and all the impact has struck one leg. And then I was lying on the grass, spreading my humming wings on its cool blanket and smiling like a child, looking up into a cloudless sky, and I think I've been in such a state for hours... Yes... I haven't been this happy from flying for a long time, like something struck me today for this. And I had no usual thoughts today either: all those mental thoughts of "ye-ep, correct the roll", "make a turn, gently", "group up, brake off!" disappeared today into this endless sky, leaving me alone with the the skies and with flying. I just flew and enjoyed it. For the first time, I think... The pleasant memories captured me so much, that I didn't even immediately notice, that it was suspiciously dark and quite around me as I opened the door as usual and stepped over the threshold of the boutique. I even froze for a moment, coming back to reality and slowly trying to understand why there was only darkness around, like in a basement at night, even for my all-weather all-seeing eyes, with which I had no difficulty even in the woods in the middle of the night... It took about a second for my brain to finally analyze the situation. I’ll be shot at right now! Will be by confetti cannon fire and loud yelling from all sides, suddenly turning on the lights! Damn it, retreat!!! “Surpri-i-ise!” The chorus of voices around me grew louder and louder, almost chanting in time with the smoothly glowing lights, and I barely had time to formulate a panicked thought. “Welcome to Ponyville, Nightmare Moon!” Pinkie appeared in front of me, her straight pink mane waving spectacularly. Her voice was supported by a few more cheers, and some people clapped, quickly creating a round of applause. Under the ceiling, above the multicolored crowd of ponies, a banner with oversized letters could be read: "Welcome to Ponyville, Nightmare Moon!" and here and there were clusters of balloons, going up to the ceiling, of "my" colors: black, turquoise, and silver, shades of purple and blue. Right across the sales floor were tables, bursting with treats, on which the elongated, angular reflections of light from the disco ball under the ceiling wandered thoughtfully. Someone put on a record - and the music complemented the composition... Damn, that's... Holy cow... I was not allowed to stand still and watch: a frozen brief moment shattered like glass, and everything spun somewhat like at once. I barely had time to respond to greetings. There was a cheerful, festive noise and commotion all around me. “Hello again, Nightmare!” The cause of all this chaos suddenly materialized in front of me, waving her mane spectacularly again. “Of course, it's a little late for a welcome party, but I promised you one, and here it is! It's great, isn't it?” “ Yeah..." I nodded in prostration and stared at the bouquet held by magic, while at the same time I used my right hoof to adjust the replica of my own helmet made of some rather heavy plastic on my head, which, by the way, some guests here were also wearing. When and where did it all come from so swiftly? “I had to change the beginning - you know, cannon, confetti, BOOM, SURPRISE-E-E!!! - and stuff like that, just to make you like it." Pinkamina panted, as if she hadn't noticed me, pulling my ears back from her demonstration as a reflex. “Okay, let's go! It's time for you to find new friends, to rest and have fun, because I think we're about to run out of cake!” Earthpony, wrapping her tail around my right leg, dragged one slightly dazed alicorn into the crowd. ... “O-oh... A-a...” I, falling out from the kaleidoscope of faces and conversations, collapsed on the corner couch and, after swallowing a glass of cold lemonade I've grabbed from the table in three sips, I was finally able to catch my breath and gather my thoughts. The party was not thinking of ending: the ponies were chatting in pairs and piles, joking, laughing, participating in all kinds of contests, dancing, eating, drinking ... I think, that after this evening, there would be no person, who at the sight of me would quickly run over to the other side of the street for sure. Everyone came to me - some shyly, some confidently and with interest. They had time to greet me, to get acquainted, to tap our hooves in a friendly way, to express their admiration for the fashion show, and to even give me small gifts... I was even able to have a word with the already known ponies. Lotus and Aloe came, everyone from the Apples family - and it was the right moment: Big Mac made a duet with Rarity, singing along to the gramophone to the approving applause of the crowd in two voices. I saw Balk somewhere else, met Lyra and Bon Bon... Even some of the medics stopped by! Broken Arm politely inquired about the side and was glad, that everything was all right, and his colleague... And his colleague blushed with one "Hello, my deary" and the memories, that immediately sprang up! Oh damn... I sighed and tried to mechanically drink more lemonade from the long-empty glass, with a chuckle put it away. No, that doctor, Vital Constance, was definitely trolling me on purpose! It was her necessary at the end of our brief and generally neutral conversation to screw up that, like, "The last time I did not have time to say - you were in a hurry, but you should not worry, if you have not had arousal so far. After such a stress the body needs to recover - this is normal, and the estral cycle will gradually come back to normal and the proper sexual desire will be restored to its normal level! However, I see you are in a hurry to have time to pay attention to the other guests ... " Damned crock! No wonder I’m such in a hurry after such conversations! How, how?.. However, I think I know who she got it from, if she really managed to work at the castle a few years ago: white, winged, horned, can still smile very innocently... “Greetings!” “Howdy...” “Hi, Nightmare! Can we join you?” Three voices said hi to me, screaming over the music. “Of course girls.” I moved, making room on the couch, while mentally thanking the fillies for helping me get rid of... uncomfortable thoughts. She was leaning on my side like an owner, Scoot - nearby, and Apple bloom, looking on with cautious interest, a little farther away. They're all together, the doomsday crew... “This is Apple Bloom, Applejack's junior sister!” Sweetie Belle with a bow in her mane presented the yellow earthpony. “We want to establish a club! To find our cutie marks! But Scootaloo doesn't want to!” The unicorn whined. “I do want! Just don't have enough time!” She was indignant. “I’m drilling!” “It has end, doesn't it?” I tried to stroke the pegasus with a wing. She dodged it, showing me her tongue. “Or it's Bulk, who keeps you that way?” “Nah... Bulk is getting on my nerves, too, that I have to control it and stuff... But I’ll learn faster if I drill more!” “More like you’ll drop dead.” I shook my head. “Don't try to eat the cake with one bite. Bulk, on top of that, is a professional, and he knows what he advises.” “Ehm, thanks...” A low voice rumbled overhead, as if to suppress the sounds of the party and the music, as if they were unimportant. “Not a professional if to be honest... Just know some from my personal experience...” “Hi.” I smiled and saluted the white hulk, that loomed over the couch with my hoof. “How is it going? Will you pull that off?” “I will.” He smiled uncertainly. “I had almost the same thing in my childhood. And also, ehm... I wanted to thank you.” THE pegasus looked away shyly. “Thank you for offering to do this. I... I felt in my place. It was my destiny to pull iron, as my mark says, and I did, but I lacked something... And now I understand, that not only I should pull it myself, but also train others to do so! If only they would obey me..." Scootaloo hid her gaze with embarrassment. “Okay, I think I won't bother you from now on... Scoot, don't you think just sitting here with hunger as your friend! You should gain weight!” Saying valuable instructions, Bulk hastened to bustle off. He's doing a great job, it'll be cool if he can make it, and Scootie would be able to fly... “She will if she obeys him...” I mumbled thoughtfully, looking askew at the filly. “I will!” She blew up in indignant. “Means you're not gonna refuse to enter our club?” Bloomie sounded for the first time. “A-a, you won't be able to do even a thing without me!” The pegasus sniffed. “Hey!” “Scootaloo, you’ll like it yourself!” “Okay, okay, I agree!” She burst into laughter. The others picked up on that, making me smile involuntarily. “By the way, Scoot.” I addressed to the kid, when the laughter died away. Before I forget again... “How are Spoon and Tiara doing? Do they bother you?” “Na-ah, they don't even think of it!” She answered a bit gloatingly, grinning. “Silver was firmly offended by this coward! And vice versa! They don't even talk! But honestly - Spoon doesn't hurry to be our friend as well...” “Why would she?” “Well... Nightmare said so, I think...” Scowling, the pegasus tried to remember. “Nightmare thought.” I chuckled.” That Silver Spoon is the wingman in their duet, and without Tiara’s attention she would feel lonely. And there’s a chance of her, trying to make new friends...” “Us?!..” She looked up at me in amazement, making me smile for a second. “But they can't stand us! And Tiara, and Spoon!” “You. Why not? I was under the impression, that Silver was dependent on Tiara's opinion, and that if she stopped listening to her, she might do it sooner or later. But I don't know them very well, I could be wrong.” “I can't get the idea of why should we be friends with her?” The earthpony had a doubt. “Because you'd have one more friend and Tiara would be alone, thus will not play on others’ nerves ever!” Scoot explained, raising her hoof to the ceiling. “Diamond would be lonely all by herself...” Sweetie Belle didn't support the general enthusiasm. “Do you feel sorry for her?..” “Of course I do! It’s very-very bad to be alone!” The unicorn threw a pitying look at me. "If she apologizes, we definitively have to forgive her and make her our friend!” Don't look at me like that. Don't. But maybe it's true... “Sayin’ such bluffing, Sweetie!..” “It’s bad to be alone...” I barely heard her through the noise of the party. Apple Bloom, sitting nearby, snorted incredulously in response. Scootaloo drooped clearly, remembering something. No wonder - about Dash... “Sweetie, go for a walk for now, would you.” I nudged her with my nose. Not particularly tactful, of course... “I want to whisper something in Scootaloo's ear.” “What?” She became interested. “Off you go!” I nudged her again, chuckling. “She will say it to you if she wants to.” “Let’s go, Apple Bloom...” The unicorn jumped off the sofa reluctantly, sighing wistfully. Her friend followed her, hesitating for a bit. “H-hey!!!” The orange pony fluttered her wings indignantly as I waited for us to be conditionally alone in our faraway corner of the hall and scooped her up close to me with my telekinesis. “Tell me - how are you doing?” I hugged her and stroked the desperately resisting filly on the head with my wing, ruffling her naughty dark-pink mane even more. Damn it, she’s so cute, so cute Scootie! It's hard to resist!.. Now she will sulk. “I won't!” She sulked and turned away, pretending to look independent. “I'm not a kid for all this tenderness... E-eww!” “I can't stand myself." I hung my ears sadly and made a regretful face. “The darkness is strong in me! I do all sorts of terrible and evil deeds...” Scootaloo laughed, trying to disguise it as a cough. She turned to look at my face, and laughed again, smiling involuntarily. “Sorry. I just wanted to cheer you up a bit.” I replied with a smile, blushing a bit. “A-a...” Pegasus waved away helplessly as far as the distance between us allowed. “And why should you? I think I’m fine...” “Thank you for stopping by the show, and for your kind words, too.” I let her go from my embrace. Scoot pulled back a little, but was in no hurry to escape. “Honestly, my legs were a little shaky then." I grinned. “It’s nothing! I’m so...” She started to blush. I smiled: it's so cute, damn it! “Are you going well with Bulk?” “Y-EAH-S!” Scootaloo suddenly barked, making me recoil reflexively in surprise. “Yeah, I see...” I mumbled, hastily straightening ears to the accompaniment of the interlocutor's laughter. What a... Brat! “He's a good one.” She claimed, ending with her laughter. “But sometimes he's so serious! Always calculates something: some calories, the number of sets and reps... It's boring! But, you know, it looks... reliable." The pegasus gestured indefinitely in the air. “And also it works! We just started, but I can already stay in the air two and a half seconds longer! I never would have guessed that all that kind of exercise really helps! Bulk, however, says, that it's still a long way before I can fly and that it takes a long time to get ready... Why is everything good always long and complicated and everything good tastes bad?!” Scoot marked the fact of the universal injustice by a sorrowful scream of her soul. “Do you regret that you've accepted that?” “I did at first. But when I started staying in the air a little longer... And eating so much every day... I mean, it's not that I was starving before, I just needed more for muscle mass to grow, so... Well..." She started to speak fast, clearly saying something unwanted. “Yeah, I believe you.” I grinned unhappily as I lightly poked her in the protruding ribs with my hoof. “Would you tell about it?” “N-no... I don't know...” I hardly heard the pegasus, who became confused because of the question. “What there’s to tell?” She cringed, getting a grip after a few moments. “My mom died so young that I don't remember her much, as well as I don't remember my dad sober. He used to be a photographer, sort of, before she died... Look, all this rotten hay can go to the timberwolfes." She shook her mane decisively. “Is it a party or not?” “I'm sorry, friend, it's true." I unfolded my wing again, but when I ran into a warning gloomy look, I hastily put it back in place, laughing quietly: “Okay-okay, I won't do that again!” We watched the fun in silence for a while. To one side, the people were playing blind man's buff. The blindfolded mare, extending her left front leg zombie-style and spreading her wings to control her flanks, was inexorably approaching the corner, where one of the participants has carelessly run into. The stallion pressed hopelessly into the wall, the mare slowly advancing, the audience laughing and giving advice, Pinkie spinning around and commenting. Some people were chatting quietly near the table with snacks and drinks, a group of guests were enchanted listening to something vividly and emotionally telling Rarity, Lyra, who also found her audience, was carefully dancing to the music, standing on her hind legs only, some blue pegasus was concentrating on driving darts to the dart board, skillfully throwing them with the tip of her wing. Idyll! Or not really... I glanced at the last one, recognizing her as Rainbow Dash. She was throwing the darts alone and with a kind of fierceness, I'd say. “Are you good now?” “We? A-a, Rainbow.” Scoot followed my gaze. “I don't know. No?.. She came up earlier today, telling me, that she apologized to you, sort of..." She tilted her head sideways with doubt. “She did. It was... Epic.” I confirmed and chuckled. “It seemed to me, that she has learned a certain lesson from all that had happened, so, let it be - I extended her the hoof of peace and friendship.” “After everything she has done?” Turning around, Scootaloo looked at me with distrust. “You know...” I moved my wing indefinably, thoughtfully examining the pattern on the flooring. “If she'd attacked at any other time, I probably would have snapped and beaten her harder than Gilda, but... I didn't care at the time. I was just moping around for a while." I explained with a small smile, in response to the obvious grown perplexity on my companion's face. “And there were no serious consequences, either. Should I have gone for revenge? Well, I tried that once - have it become better for anyone? Besides, she got a beating from all her friends at once, including you. Maybe Tia's had a bad influence on me, that I don't want to growl at anyone lately...” I rubbed my chin with my hoof in an exaggeratedly thoughtful way and, not being able to hold it, laughed softly. “Well, I don't know...” Scoot said skeptically. Sat in silence for a while. Dash has finished her entire stock of darts and, walking over, began to pull them back out in sharp, twitching motions. The painted one sharply dismissed everyone, who has come up recently, who noticed her agitated state, continuing to "have fun" alone. “Go talk to her, would you?” I looked down at the pink hair next to me. “I have a feeling, that she's going to cry now.” “We’ve talked already! That I’m like a sister to her... Yeah, one day it’s “Go away with your apples to your beloved Nightmare!”, then the next day it’s “You're like my sister”.” The pegasus sniffed as a reply. “She always seemed so cool, I always wanted to be her friend, but she says “Go away”. I didn't understand right away, but...” Scootaloo waved away hopelessly. “You've been friends for a long time. Hasn't anything good accumulated during that time, that's worth more than a mistake or two?” I don't know about Dash - I'm not particularly interested. But Scoot obviously cares, even though she's trying to distance herself somehow. Why? Our rainbow-colored pony isn't that bad. Stupid, pea-brained - but still. Maybe she would overcome herself... “Maybe...” The kid said with a shaky voice. The last dart passed by and, with a low clang, flew off the wall back beneath the blue mare's feet. Dash, kicking it violently towards the target, turned around, and, with a dejected look on her face, headed away. “I'll... go, I guess. Thank you.” Scootaloo, who has been watching her tirelessly, jumped off the couch after a moment, clopping her hooves on the floor. “You're welcome.” “Come on." I instructed her with a faint smile on the edges of my lips. They will make up. “They will. And everything would be fine.” I involuntarily shuddered at a voice that sounded unexpectedly nearby. The upholstery of the couch stretched to take the weight of Pinkamina, who was settling down beside me. “You may not believe this, but you're a nice pony, Nightmare. You may not like Rainbow, but you've done a lot for her today.” “Not for her.” “But with the understanding, that she, and not Scooty, needs support the most right now.” Scootie, who has caught up with Dash and was talking to her, was clearly regretting it, trying desperately to escape the rainbow-haired pegasus' embrace. I grinned, and then shook my head, dismissing the sudden thought that this was something like me and Luna. Damn it, thinking about her at the party, yeah... “Nightmare, do you remember?!” I was helped to get out of my unpleasant thoughts by rubbing my wing and making frightening eyes when I turned around. “I remember what?” “That this is your party!” Pinkie effectively flipped her mane from her right side to her left. “Welcoming party, Nightmare!” “I'm having a wonderful time, talking to my friends in the far quiet corner!” I playfully put both front hooves in front of me in a protective gesture. “Believe me, the only thing I need to be happy is lemonade!” “Y-ou a-re wro-ng!” The foot of my companion bumped into my chest. “Because we have a drawing contest coming up, and it's definitely going to be better-better than lemonade! Let’s go!” “I'm kind of... You know what I can draw without even realizing it!” Wait, does she?.. A-a, doesn't matter... “Drawing contest” sounds cool without a doubt... As long as you're in control when you pick up a pencil! “Everything will be alright!” The earthpony cut me dismissively. “Let’s go!” “Hear the word - do the word...” I sighed hopelessly as I felt someone's forehead pressing firmly against my back, just below my shoulder blades. Damn it, I've done everything I could... ... “Wo-o-ow!” “Lifelike!” “Oh, Celestia!..” “Wow! Can you draw me like that?..” I was high on congratulations and continued to look at my work out of the corner of my eye. Pinkie, probably, has chosen the only real win-win, safe tactic: asking me to paint a portrait of Rarity. The spectacular unicorn stood on the catwalk in a gorgeous outfit, shining in her first meaningful victory on her path to greatness and glory. She was greeted by the crowd, an alicorn figure looming nearby and a leading lady twirling, but all of them, given general outlines and shadows, were only an addition to her and her triumph. “None of this would have happened without you." The milliner herself was finally able to appreciate the picture as well. “You would have found someone, even though later." I brushed it off. “There are many models, but you are the only one.” “And yet, you're not right to portray it this way, my dear. I'm not the only one who made this... fashion festival possible.” “But it was the most important for you, Ice Cream." I winked at her. Well, I see, that you liked it in your eyes - why deny it? “Ice Cream?..” Rarity asked with a loss amidst the smiles of the crowd. Ehm, damn it... I think I've said something unwanted... We're a little bit not alone here, so... “I like it!” Pinkamina appeared nearby and looked at the unicorn with a critical eye. “Marshmallow is not your cup of tea, and it sounded like... Like it’s a well-worn thing, I don't know why. And you're so white and cold on the surface for those, who don't know you... It suits you!” Earthpony gave her verdict, and winked too. “You're embarrassing me!” Rarity complained, making her brows like a house. “And my name isn't that hard and awful!..” “A name, that's perfect for you," I nodded, interrupting the milliner before she could get herself worked up about her name. “But, don't you think it's nice to embarrass you once in a while?” “Nightmare!..” The banter was interrupted by Spike, who pushed his way into the crowd, to the delight of the crowd. “Rarity! There... Guests!” “Guests are everywhere here, kid.” I grinned wryly at the distraught little dragon. “Who is that guest, that came to my house, that you had to tell me that, dear Spikey? Thank you!” The unicorn responded a little bit mannerly to please her "knight," and she headed for the door. through the dispersing and gradually re-dispersing guests. I didn't hesitate long to follow, and so did several other ponies, interested in a guest, who suddenly didn't just show up at a party, where everyone was welcome, but instead stood orphaned under the door. I would have thought it was Flutty, but the yellow pegasus was already here: I caught her with my eye in the company of the medics, discussing something with them excitedly... “Hell... Your Excellency?.. Come in, please!..” She stumbled mid-word, barely beginning her greeting, then backed away from the door to let Princess Cadence in, then fell to her knees to bow. The others, realizing who has entered, did not hesitate to follow her example. “Hi, Cadence.” I saluted with my wing, chuckling with an edge of my lips. “What chance brings you here?” Interesting... Why would she come here?.. Nah, doesn't matter, will find out later... “Get up, you shouldn't...” She hesitated a little at the expression of loyalty to the monarch. “Greetings, everypony. Greetings, Nightmare. It seems I’m late, am I not?” “You missed a lot, but you're not late. Just hanging out, drinking, having fun...” “...”Nightmare Moon”... Sorry, I didn't want to ruin your party.” Alicorn glanced at me guiltily, glancing up at the balloons and the banner under the ceiling. “There’s nothing to ruin - just join in! Vinyl will tune up her equipment, and we'll have some more fun." I held out my hoof for a friendly "clop", describing the prospects. “I'm sorry, but I'm afraid I'm here on very important business... Hello. Hello, all ponies. I don't need it, thanks... Hello!..” Cadence replied to my gesture and moved on into the hall with me, forcibly distracted by the ponies, who kept noticing her presence. “Princess Cadence! Howdy!” Pinkie appeared nearby and, instantly making a statutory bow, immediately ran to be next to the alicorn. “Welcome to the Nightmare Moon welcoming Party, where you can relax, have fun, and make new friends! Treat this house as your own!” Another replica of my helmet was immediately placed on the head of the noble, who was taken aback by the pressure, and a glass of lemonade was glued to the front right hoof in an elusive movement. "Enjoy the evening!” “...Thank you.” She replied a little hesitantly, adjusting her helmet and slowly taking a small sip from the glass. “Yeah, that's the way I looked and adjusted my helmet when I got here." I chuckled at the look on her face. Cadence smiled back a little confused. “Your Excellency! Forgive me for not welcoming you properly to my humble dwelling!” Rarity, a little out of breath, was making herself known again, glittering in richer jewels and new makeup. When did she do that?.. “Rarity, you shouldn't have...” “But Your Excellency!..” “Oops, I almost forgot it!” Suddenly, Pinkie slid in between them, sending both of them tumbling backward as a reflex, which gave me a little chuckle. “Princess Cadence, we’ve just ended our drawing contest! Let's have you as the judge!” “But I’m in a hurry...” “Pinkie!!!” “Pri-i-nce-ess! You still need to rest and have fun!..” “Fine...” She muttered, her eyes lingering on me for some reason. Don't think so easily, Cadence. If you come to a Pinkie party, you can't get away from it that easily. I gave another chuckle to the alicorn, who sighed as she followed our party-pony to the pictures we've drawn. ... Music thundered. The low bass, echoing in the whole body like impact waves, rattled the windows, and in the darkness the spotlight and the glare of the disco ball, that swirled under the ceiling in time with the ongoing action, which, though, was going to its end: people were gradually saying goodbye and going home, leaving only the most resistant to the present moment. Cadence and I got out of the dancing - who could dance at least something - crowd, dragged the couch I'd liked from the corner closer to the appetizer table by a pair of horns, and fell onto it in unison, spreading like puddles of fatigue and buzz on the nice soft upholstery. “That's not a good seat! The wrong table!” I looked at the rows of empty glasses, clinking in time with the music. I noticed a bottle, that has not yet been poured into glasses, pulled it to me, and, getting rid of the cork by an impulse of magic, with pleasure sipped from the bottleneck. Ni-i-ce-e... My legs were aching, especially the back left one, which has already gotten a beating today, and my heart was pumping blood through my arteries with a slight throbbing and heat all over my body. I over-danced, phew... No, I could do some pirouettes on the dance floor in a four-legged body with a tail and wings, though I didn't know how to do that. And heck with it! Who does give a heck at a disco? That's what a disco is for - to party to the best of your comprehension - just so long as it's fun! And I also liked hooves in this case: nothing sticks out, so it's unreal to step on someone's foot even in such a dense party! “Can I have it too?..” Cadence marked the bottle in my hoof with her eyes limply, recovering breath after the party as well. “Take it.” I handed it to Princess, earning a reproachful look. Alicorn looked around the table, trying to find a clean glass, hesitantly looked at the bottle, sighed, sipped from the bottleneck. “Thanks.” We had to speak in high tones: the glasses on the table were still clinking with the murmur of the bass. “The last time I was at an event like this was ten years ago." She grinned, handing the bottle back to me and slightly adjusting her helmet and mane. “Yeah." I nodded out of the line and was about to gather my legs on the couch. “Move it!” “Where?” “Well, hug if you can't move! This furniture is not for alicorns!” “Ph-h!” Cadence rolled her eyes, but still made some sort of counter-movement. We were somehow able to fit on the couch, half-laying to our own sides. Salute to the ponies’ anatomy, which was more flexible than that of an Earth horse! We lay in silence for a while, letting ourselves rest, and exchanging the bottle, until it ran out. “You know what I don't understand?” I thoughtfully looked at the empty container and put it under the table. “M?” “Why don't I have any problems with my height, except sometimes with furniture? Ceilings, door jambs - all that stuff?” “Don't you know?” Cadence rose up a bit in surprise. “It's a tradition, dating back to the law, almost to the beginning of the Sisters' rule. I thought you'd seen it before?” “I don't remember, as well as many other things.” I shook my head. “Fine. Hmm, I guess I oversimplified... As my aunt told me, in the beginning it was a kind of good manners rule among the nobility: that Princess Celestia herself could enter their house without bowing her head or feeling uncomfortable. Then the High Council of the Estates passed a law, requiring all nobles to build their houses this way - or rebuild the ones they had already built. This is how we got a kind of property qualification at the same time: those who could not afford to rebuild, were deprived of their titles. And then the landowners began to force their subordinate ponies to do the same so they could boast that "In my lands, Her Highness can go wherever she pleases!” Auntie tried to fight it, but she didn't succeed, and eventually just shrugged it off. Well, now it's just become an accepted standard. And it's comfortable for pegasi, too - they can't stand cramped spaces and low ceilings.” “Interesting!” I nodded with my head. The local nobles had their share of foolishness... But, hell, I should thank them for this one, because I haven't picked up a single lintel with my horn at all! The music, meanwhile, has died down, and I slid off the couch, squeezing Cadence again. I have to see the guests off, thank them all... It was great. I’m not a lover of it, but... But it was good. ... “So what chance brings you here? Did Pinkie send you an invitation, too?” We strolled leisurely under the roadside lights and the huge Equestrian Moon, cooling off after the party and breathing in the fresh air. And what could we do if we were just kicked out of “Carousel” for the time of cleanup?.. We only had time to put the couch back in its place before we were told: “The first one's honor was met, and the second one is a Princess, why the hay you should “help” us?!” We had to go, even though I don't like walking under the stars... However, considering that Cadence obviously wanted to talk about something, a walk alone was in order. “No. I wouldn't have come then. Too much things to do. I could spare a couple of hours to come see you - yeah... Ah..." She sighed, waving hopelessly into the space. “However, I do not regret, don't think I do! It was great! At least I recovered a bit.” She smiled. “The crown is heavy, the throne is uncomfortable...” I mumbled thoughtfully. “Yes...” We walked in silence for a while. I stared at the clouds of insects, swirling under the lamps, and Cadence bit her lip thoughtfully. “What's going on with Tia? She hasn't answered to any of my letters. Still hasn't.” “This is why I’m here.” The interlocutor sighed again. “She seems to be having nightmares, something troubles her... Luna thinks you're the only person who can help Celestia.” “How?” I chuckled skeptically. “If that's the case, she wouldn't want to see me, judging by my experience.” “You're a dream walker, Nightmare. We think you were the one who got that part of the gift after the... separation.” “I won't deny the possibility." I said after a moment. I’ve nicely beaten that “producer” - and there were no nightmares since then. Food for thoughts... “But I have no idea how it all works, and there's no one to teach me. And I don't think this is a matter of seconds.” “This is why... It’s the hardest part...” Cadence sighed as if before jumping into water. “Luna invites you to Canterlot to teach and...” “No.” “But Night...” “I don't want to know anything about Luna!” Stopping and bumping my hoof into the chest of my companion, I explained as clearly as possible. Let her go to the abyss with her invitations! The damned beast! It's hard to leave me alone, isn't it?!.. Just to fucking leave me alone and not bother to remind me of your existence?!.. I shot the alicorn a long glance and turned away and continued down the road, driving my hooves into the sidewalk with force. I wanted to curse and spit with annoyance. It's just been such a lovely day, fu!.. Cadence, fucking bitch!.. “Sorry. I understand it’s not the best moment now.” She muttered hesitantly as she caught up with me. “But we haven't found any other way... Celestia really needs help!” I picked up my pace in silence, causing Cadence to almost gallop. “Nightmare, I know you rejected her friendship, but don't you!..” “What are you suggesting?!” I came to an abrupt halt with the aid of my wings and jerked around, taking a blow to my chest with the body and head of Princess, who hasn't slowed down in time. Didn't slobber my fur: you can live. “Def... Oh!.. D-defend Princess Celestia from her nightmare, so she will stop gradually... going mad!” She hurriedly stepped back, averting her eyes to the side with embarrassment. “And your beloved Luna can not do it!?” “No, she can't. She has tried, but now, after the loss of her talent, she is not even able to defend herself!” I wanted to argue, that maybe it was the blue herself, who was drowning her sister in nightmares, but, remembering what Rarity had said and how I had already taken wishful thinking for granted once, I shuddered. “And how am I supposed to do that?” I asked instead gloomily. “Do you offer learn from Luna?” “Well... Yes. This art is almost forgotten, there are no books about it, and we... We couldn't find any other ways. I know, that you're...” “You know fucking nothing.” I interrupted the alicorn, turned around and started to wander down the road once again. Damn, why is this going like this?.. Why do I have to get in the muck ‘till my ears to help Tia? But I... No. Is Tia my friend?... I don't know. I hope she is. But who do I think she is? A friend? Maybe... “Maybe”... She forgave me her short stay in the Sun - not essential, that is not completely my action - helped me settle in, took care of me... Supported me, when I was confused about myself and the world around me. And, I'm sure, really tried to forgive me for trying to kill her sister and only relative in general! The nightmare hasn't allowed to... So, who do I think Tia is? A friend?.. Slowing, I sighed. Yes. A friend. And friends... How did I think when I first met Pinkie?.. “A friend in need is a friend indeed”, yeah? So, what, I’m just gonna give up just because of Luna? But... Abandoning a friend just for your own comfort? But what if Luna... If this is Luna - then of course! Who would defend Tia then? That in itself is nonsense, of course, at the level of the concept, but still? And what about yourself, huh? Maybe if someone hadn't tried to stab her sister, she wouldn't be having nightmares right now, huh?.. Who's trying to kill Tia with nightmares after that, idiot?.. I paused, my lips pressed together tensely. Damn it. Damn it! “When is the departure?”
45. Make Everything RightAuthor's Note Guys, I need your opinion. Get down to the comm section and give me some ground to make my further choice. 45. Make Everything Right The gloomy, rainy morning matched the gloomy mood. And even her own chambers seemed to match it: she wanted to light the lamps covertly to dispel the bleakness and gloom of the seemingly dark walls with the glow of the magical lamps. Though, the lamps could overcome the gloom and illuminate the halls - but they could not illuminate a soul, the gloom of which was beyond their reach... Luna sighed. Her own words, the ones she'd thrown at her angry sister in the heat of the moment, stung from the inside. Tia had been wrong then, yes, but rejecting her at a time when her help and participation were needed the most?.. Alas, the Princess of the Night could not overcome her anger and, perhaps, fear, but she found the courage and determination to talk to her sister the next day - but Celestia was no longer in the castle: she had flown to Cloudsdale for some urgent inspection, without giving a notice to anybody. Why an inspection so far away from the palace had been so urgent was painfully obvious to Luna... However, until her sister returned, it was probably not the time to think about it, especially since Nightmare Moon arrived at the castle last evening. In fact, on her way to the landing stage of her wing of the palace, Princess had a hard time imagining what to expect from this meeting. She hoped to see acceptance in Nightmare's eyes, she hoped for a chance to fix at least something, and if not pay off everything, then at least to make some amends... The depression over the rift with Tia, in turn, grimly murmured, that she would probably receive only barely covered evil sneers, taunts, and insults in an attempt to hurt as much as possible. Neither her hopes nor her fears were justified, however, and the meeting was surprisingly neutral. The black alicorn listened silently to the nervous greeting, nodded curtly, and asked dryly where she could sleep. Only the heavy, unblinking stare of her eyes, dimly glowing in the darkness of the night demonstrated the thoughts and emotions that she was keeping to herself, eloquently wishing to Luna, a fast and immediate order to get lost. Well, it was better than insults... That, in fact, was the end of their conversation for now: Dark Whisper, at the order of Princess, showed Nightmare her chambers and helped her get settled. She declined the invitation to a late supper, preferring, as expected, to eat alone in her room. But today... When she opened the door, the alicorn paused for a moment, glancing around the small dining room and the table full of food. The much-anticipated - and yet frightening - face-to-face meeting will be held today: it is necessary to agree on the lessons and their order and most importantly, what Luna timidly hoped for, to talk about their relationship and maybe come to a compromise, at least temporarily... After making sure, that the table was properly laid, Luna carefully settled down in her seat. There were still a few minutes left before the appointed hour, and the anticipation made her heart beat faster in anxiety and excitement, while her eyes scrutinized again and again for the slightest imperfection. The decoration and arrangement of furniture should emphasize the meeting of equals, although the status of Nightmare Moon is formally lower; the cutlery is selected and arranged correctly; the dishes... alas, here, due to unawareness, it had to be relied solely on her own taste and hope for the best; the servants... no servants - this is a private conversation. Midnight will meet the guest: the commander of her guards stands on the post next to the entrance... Luna suppressed the desire to get a fork - made of the solidest stainless steel! - with an intricate ornament, so that she could spin it around impatiently in front of her eyes, but instead tried to shift her thoughts to something else. Yeah, Midnight... Yesterday was a... Revelation to the thestrals? No, the rumors have been around for a long time, and the paper that caused quite a stir a little over a week ago didn’t go unnoticed, but still, seeing the second incarnation of their Great One in the flesh was clearly something on the verge of shock for many. It was Midnight who, in a brief conversation yesterday, shared her elation: now the bringers of the night will make peace with the common enemy and lead the Night Ponies to victory and a well-deserved place under the Moon! She did, however, express cautious concern, that not everyone shares this view, and there are many in the Princess guard who are not ready to accept Nightmare Moon as their mistress. And there's a suspicion that there will even be those who are willing to do just that - but to the detriment of the service to Luna herself! It seems that the thestrals, who were not united to begin with, were now on the brink of infighting, as it had once happened to their people... “...Come in.” Midnight's voice came from behind a silently opened door, forcing Princess to get back to reality, and the black alicorn, like a clot of darkness, stepped over the threshold, eyeing the corners as if looking for an ambush, incredulous. Now, in normal light, in a normal state and in no hurry, Luna was finally able to see her better, while vaguely recalling the image she had seen in the mirror centuries ago. Nightmare Moon... It almost seemed like it was her, no doubt, she was a spitting image, but something was off from what her memory told her. Her gaze, her movements, her facial expressions... There was something about her that was subtly different from the one that had once been reflected in the mirror. Perhaps the eyes, that have never looked at Luna... like this... before...? Princess shivered, turning her gaze away. “Greetings, Nightmare.” She said hello, pulling herself together. “Good morning. Take a seat, please! Did you sleep well?” The black alicorn, slowing, came closer silently, hovering over the table and the mare, sitting behind it, which was tense as a strung string. “Luna.” She said finally, disturbing the thickening silence, flying above them like a thundercloud. “Let’s get it clear: don't try to get your way into my friend list and pretend, that I mean something for you! You invited me to the breakfast allegedly to discuss some topic - hence get rid of the useless idle talk. You can enjoy your voice next time! Without me!” Nightmare, looking at the perplexed Princess of the Night, stepped back a bit and plunked onto her place behind the table. Luna sighed quietly, looking firmly at her bowl. It may seem, that Nightmare said something bad and ugly! She just tried to meet the guest welcomingly and with respect... However, did the hostess deserve something more?.. Still, the idea of merely remaining silent was contrary to alicorn's wishes. “I...” Nightmare lifted her eyes from the soup bowl, from which she was eating too fast, drawing with a salad spoon and bumping into Luna's voice with an unblinking stare. “The w... work of ours towards understanding and trust, though shallow, is going to be needed indeed. And there is no evil in my polite word to you! Or even a word of kindness by me is disgustful for you?” “Trust?!..” The Mare in the Moon, it seemed, even got lost. Shook her head, glanced indefinably, chuckled, twitching an ear. “Trust... If so, maybe I should just turn away and get back to not lose your precious time?” She asked acidly. “Trust”.... Phew...” “I... Know how it sounds...” The Princess of the Night bowed her head penitently. “But I don't ask for myself. Art thou really going to leave my povre sister because of me?..” “You know, scarecrow... Because of you - I will.” Luna shivered. A completely, utterly unexpected answer, thrown in an even, indifferent voice, made her heart go out of rhythm, and a chill run down her spine. “But... But...” Cadence told her, that she had said everything to Nightmare - and she agreed!.. But... Why?!... “What “but”, blue one?” Some pained chuckle can be felt in the interlocutor's voice. “I do what I want to! I’m a heartless mad monster, which wasn't good enough to not be left alone to die on the Moon, was I?..” Nightmare's words ran into Luna like a ram, knocking the wind out of her. “No, I... I...” “You! You, Luna! I needed you there! Needed more than life! But you... You weren't there.” Through her tear-stained eyes, the Princess of the Night saw Nightmare Moon, sucking air frantically through her teeth, rise sharply from the table. She did not find the words to stop her. Hiding from the world behind her wings, Luna, with a desperate effort to stifle a treacherous sob, awkwardly wiped away the tears with her wrist. The accusation plunged into her heart like a rusty, jagged, curved knife, and it only became more unbearable because it was fully just and deserved. Unredeemable. Unforgivable. Irresistible. “You were needed, but you weren't there” And her voice, which was just about to be shouted, snapped into a cracked whisper... And nothing could be changed, nothing could be healed, nothing could be reversed, she cannot be the one she should have been to Nightmare. It... It hurts so much... ... It was only when the tears and mascara dried on her cheeks and there was a ringing, dreary silence in her head, that Princess reluctantly moved, feeling her body numb with detached annoyance at the long immobility. Hunger was nagging, but the long-cooled food on the beautifully set table in front of her disgusted her with its mere presence. She didn't want anything. She wanted to turn back time and put Nightmare in a coma, leaving herself alone with her loneliness - just to keep her happy. But... If only that was possible... “You know... I don't know what I want from you even a bit.” Luna shivered and turned to the voice with a surprise, not awaiting to hear it by any chance. Nightmare stood by a window, drooping, her forehead against the glass. She did not leave?.. “Just don't ask what I’m still doing here.” She answered at the unspoken astonishment with a hum after a moment, as if reading thoughts. “I don't have any clue.” The black mare turned back to the table as she became alive once again, twisting her head and crunching her stiff neck. “When I agreed to all this, I hoped that I would feel nothing more, especially after our friendly meeting in the woods... But your mug with that eternal innocent expression on it within sight does wonders." She snorted thoughtfully and somewhat tiredly, walking over to the table and studying its contents with a detached look. “Sorry. Sorry for everything.” Luna sighed. “Know We... I know, that it's not me! It’s not me, who sceolde ask for this, but I don't have the right to be speechless. I have made a dreadful evil, not even understanding what I’m doing - and I’m sincerely sorry for this. But it is not by words that one is judged, and I will do all I can to make my deeds a proof for you of my repentance.” The Princess of the Night closed her eyes for a few moments, sighing. How long she wanted to say something like that to Nightmare Moon - and she did not miss her boat. And though the one to whom these words were addressed did not even look up, pretending to be fully absorbed in her search for the desired food, her sluggish movements and her focused ear, barely perceptibly twitching in response to the words, said: she has listened. “Drat, Luna! It would have been so easy without you!.. “Going to make deeds, yeah...” She whipped her tail irritably at her side, and after a moment of hesitation, Nightmare responded, giving the blue alicorn a hard look. “I remember your one deed. There, on the Moon. Very tellingly it was. Got it in my memory. Damn it!” Not finding something eligible for a sandwich, the Mare in the Moon, sniffing annoyingly, put the piece of bread aside. “I’ll make amends!” Luna looked from under her brows, standing another blow. “I don't need anything from you, blue one. Neither your life, nor your death, nor you yourself even for a bit! I wouldn't have been here if...” Nightmare Moon looked away from the table, looking towards a window gloomily. Only wind, beating glass, was disrupting the silence. ... “Okay, I can dream of death on another occasion.” Luna shivered, lifting her gaze at moving Nightmare in a hurry, on the face of which a sad nervous smirk has frozen. Dream - of death?!.. “You invited me to discuss business. Shoot.” Princess shook her head, trying to get rid of the useless thoughts and putting ideas in order. Enough. It was not the time nor the place for it! Tried to think of the best start... “I see, that preparation for the meeting was enormous.” The black alicorn commented on the hiccup in a seemingly even tone, but in some subtly pejorative way. “What's with Tia, for starters?” She sat onto her place behind the table as if not wanting to do it. “It’s hard to say. Sister... was very careful to avoid talking about it." Luna sighed. “The only truth is that nightmares torment her mercilessly. From what I've heard, the essence is similar to what happened to you before...” “Isn't it your job, m?” Princess stumbled mid-word, glancing worriedly at the openly smirking Mare in the Moon, who was sitting across from her with her forelegs folded unusually across her chest. “No.” She sighed, looking away. “Never again in my life will I stand up against my sister with a weapon, infringing on her health and belly from my pitiful and petty motives! And the same is true about you, Nightmare, since I don't wish you evil! It’s enough what I've done to both of you...” “You speak well." The interlocutor indefinitely chuckled, getting up from the table, which was still full of food that no one has touched. “And in such a lofty style... But I don't want to trust you for some reason at all, I just can't see the reason - why?..” She asked in a deliberately perplexed way. Luna, staring silently at the tabletop in front of her, rolled her cheeks as she took another well-deserved jab. “So... Don't be a fool!” She seemed to think for only a moment, and then Nightmare Moon's voice came over her ear, making her shiver, turn around and meet her eyes as a reflex. “If I know that you, mistake, dig under Tia...” The alicorn bared her teeth evilly. “Then I’ll cut your neck with these very fangs!” Slightly insane creepy stare of the Mare in the Moon's dragon eyes at point-blank range finished the unvoiced continuation. “I... I u-understand your distrust, Nightmare.” Princess, shivering from this coming association, hastened to look away and, slowing, got up from her seat as well. “But... I’m honest: I love my sister and don't want her to be harmed.” Nightmare, sniffing distrustfully, stepped back, but made her face easier nonetheless. “And the same goes to you.” Leaning forward swiftly, Luna hugged the clueless interlocutor, which forced her into a stupor for a few moments. “Thanks for worrying about her as well. And for not refusing to help. Thank you a lot.” “E-e! You!.. Get back!.. Get off me!..” She mumbled in a dazed voice, becoming instantly less ominous, as she jerked back reflexively and tried to shove the Princess of the Night away shyly. Luna smiled. Someday she'll redeem herself - and then maybe she'll never see Nightmare Moon in an ugly mask of evil again, getting to see her... like this. Alive. Someday... Princess hesitated, releasing the black alicorn, who immediately took a step back and stared at her with a complex mix of emotions on her face. Good thing if the Mare in the Moon hasn't been offended by this embrace - it was time to get back to business, after all. They both still had much to discuss... ... The Sun dropped swiftly over the horizon, replaced by the sluggishly crawling Moon, the dim lights of the stars lit up in the darkened sky... Luna sighed and stepped away from the balcony railing. She wanted to see the sunset, just like the old days! And not this dull cycle of day and night, which she got sick to death of... Another day has gone. Lessons, trainings, drugs... Nightmare Moon. Thinking, talking, making a plan for Luna's and Nightmare’s classes, settling some formalities... It was a very long and surprisingly good day, which left an aftertaste of time not being wasted in vain and some forward movement. Admittedly, Luna has not been in such high spirits for a long time, even though it was rather difficult to communicate with her guest. And yet Nightmare's presence gave her some confidence, that now she could make amends and atone for her terrible mistake, and even the unhappy Mare in the Moon's caustic reminders of it were almost gratefully received by Princess. She is here, she has agreed to help, she can be met face to face - which meant that her hatred was not so strong and uncompromising, which meant that something could be done! But it's a matter of the future. For now, they managed to discuss some domestic issues, establish the status of a guest at the Night Court, offer to attend classes and training together, agree to meet tomorrow to discuss in more detail how and what Luna would teach her. Admittedly, the upcoming conversation was very unnerving: although Nightmare already seemed to suspect from the words of trust what methods the former lord of dreams was going to resort to, but what, when it would be said outright? The possibility of a categorical refusal was frankly frightening - that's why Princess did not dare to bring up the subject today, hoping to get used to each other at least a little, so as not to cause a completely uncompromising negative reaction. Well, it has borne fruit: Nightmare, after her outburst at this morning's meeting, has clearly calmed down a bit and was at least somewhat reconciled to the need to work together - it gave Luna a timid hope that tomorrow's conversation at least would not lead to an immediate breakup and departure of the Mare in the Moon. She did not notice how she returned to her bedroom and even prepared to go to sleep, but she woke up to reality only after she automatically turned off the overhead lights, plunging the room into a pleasant semi-darkness, dispersed only by a pair of bedside lamps. Well... Is there really any point in guessing now? Tomorrow everything will be clear - and it's up to her, Luna, to find the right words. The alicorn settled on the huge round bed, sighed, and shut the lights, plunging the room into complete darkness. It was time to face her nightmares once more, to suffer their retribution as she deserved by her deeds... *** “Greetings, Nightmare. Good morning!” “You wanted to talk.” She went to business right off the bat, responding to the welcoming only by a slight dissatisfied nod. “Yes.” Luna confirmed, furiously suppressing the feeling of a slight vexation at this reaction to her sincere greeting. “I wanted... To show you something. And also, to discuss the beginning of our training.” The Princess, gesturing for her guest to follow, unhurriedly clattered her shoes down the corridor. “By the way, what have you decided about the joint learning?” “No way.” The black mare, saying this, followed her, who, contrary to expectations, did not keep pace with Princess, but, on the contrary, lagged behind by more than half a bulk, either out of a desire to distance herself, or out of fear of letting her out of her sight. Luna closed her eyes for a moment, taking another wordless reproach. “But why?..” It seems that she still did not manage to hold a note of dissatisfaction. “The level of knowledge. The learning programs should be different.” Nightmare explained with a sigh, as if explaining it for the tenth time to a silly foal. “Magic and flights - could be worth a shot, but language, history, economics, law and etiquette are surely off the table. But if you send your teachers to me with a different program, to a different level of knowledge - I won't refuse.” “I’ll be learning, but away from you!” The Princess of the Night interpreted her words’ meaning droopingly. Shook hear head, getting rid of the pitiful thought: she shouldn't look for a false bottom! Nightmare said everything on business, after all! And, of course, there was no unwillingness to see each other... She sighed, feeling a gnawing feeling on the inside: for some reason there was absolutely no way to convince herself. “Of course, you're right. I’ll make the arrangements, don't worry.” Luna answered, taking a grip on herself, turned around and stopped pace to finally give her guest some time to catch up. It was uncomfortable, and also tactless to talk like that, and the gaze that was fixed on the back of her head made Luna feel uneasy. “When you were on the Moon and you didn't answer for a long time, you used to say, "Don't worry," too. Well, the maker won’t tell you anything bad, would she? So, I didn't bother. Till it was too late.” The words, spoken in a detached, phlegmatic tone, whipped at her heart like a whip with hooks, making Princess stiffen, hindering her breathing, whilst the world before her eyes began to blur. “Don't just stand there - you’ll get cold.” Her hind left leg was slightly nudged. “You were going to show me something - come on.” “Y-yes, of c-course.” Luna said in a shaky voice, furtively wiping away the tears, continuing on her way uncertainly. Nightmare, not managing to catch up to her even now, hummed noticeably, starting to clip-clop with hooves behind. That was another reminder of what she was and what she meant to her... So mundane, so indifferent... "The Maker will not tell you anything bad"! How Nightmare trusted her!.. And how she was repaid for that trust... But enough regrets! Princess clenched her teeth and took a few deep, quick breaths. Nightmare was now with her again, here - and there was a chance. This time she will do it right! ... “And what is it?” The dissatisfaction in the voice of the black alicorn, with a deliberately lean face, frozen in the aisle and looking at the considerable size of the completely empty hall, was almost palpable. “Sister, in her keen creative impulse, took this place as a dressing room..." Luna said with a slight doubt in her voice, amazed to herself again at the grand scale of the enormous room. Echo repeated her words with an agreed doubt. “Both floors of “Carousel” are about one and a half if not two times smaller than this one. Why that much space?..” Nightmare rubbed her forehead with a thoughtful perplexity. Echo agreed with her as well. “Tia wished that I would have nothing to worry about, that I would be happy, that I would have a home of my own that will have everything I need." The Princess of the Night said, her voice lowered involuntarily, as if trying not to attract the attention of the sensitive echo, that reigned in the hall. “I have all of this... While you sleep in some basement on a bench in the corner! It shouldn't be like that!” “It shouldn't be like that!” The echo nodded with agreement, forcing Luna to lay down her ears involuntary and lower her voice. “So... This hall is all yours. I’ll order to rebuild it so it would be a worthy bedroom and whatever else, you might need. Just let me know. I’m not going to let you suffer from not having a normal house, thus my court will be your house as for me just by a move of your wing!” The alicorn tapped her shoe on the floor, as if to dot her own words. “Well, living with you under the same roof is all I need to be happy, yes." Snorted Nightmare Moon, rolling her eyes, clearly not feeling Princess's speech. “If you don't know what to do - put your statues, a dozen of them. And hang portrays of you all over the walls. And hang a sign on the door: “The best pony in the Universe!” “B-but why?!..” The Mare in the Moon's sarcastic refusal suddenly stung her heart, causing a kind of bitter confusion in her soul. This was not how it was supposed to work! She has... done the right thing... “You see, blue one, home is not just where you sleep, but where you're welcomed and loved. Who will meet me here, when I would open the door, soaked from the rain, cold, tired and hungry? You? Now that’s fun.” Nightmare chuckled sadly and, slowing a bit, stepped out into the corridor. “That’s fun!” Echo smiled evilly at Luna, who was left in deserted loneliness. ... “I’m not taking my words back, no matter what you think.” Closing the door behind her gently, the gloomy Princess of the Night stepped out into the corridor. “Just let me know and I’ll find an architect and... A dresser of the rooms for you.” “An interior designer.” Lost in her own thoughts, Nightmare corrected her mechanically, and came back to reality. Just how she remembers all these hard new words?.. “Is it all you wanted to show? Maybe we should get down to business?” The black alicorn's disgruntled gaze traveled across the pony's figure opposite her, stopping for a moment at the face. Luna turned away, biting her lip in nervous reverie. Aside from the fact, that it was the right thing to do, she was also counting on the Mare in the Moon's high spirits after the gift. But now? Revealing obviously not the most pleasant nuances, that have a good chance of interfering with her upcoming studies as they were?.. “Bufan, yfel frînan êow...” The nervous alicorn stumbled, catching herself on a luxuriant old pronunciation.” I beg you... Please: do you really still think, that I want to end my poor sister, to come into possession of the throne under your cover and setting you up?” “Does it matter?” She moved a tip of her mouth and twitched her ears in displeasure. “I have no doubt that you can do such a thing. Do you wanna? Only Abyss knows.” “No. Never!” “Words.” The interlocutor sniffed disdainfully to Luna, leaning forward in an emotional hit. “And let’s get back to the business!” “Fine.” Princess exhaled, closing her eyes for a moment. No. Nothing should be revealed yet. No vows to do no harm, no vows not to allow herself anything beyond what was truly necessary, Nightmare would not accept now - and would probably just go away. And something more, something weightier and more meaningful is simply not there... But wouldn't silence make things worse? Wouldn't it raise a question: “Why didn't you say it in the first place?”.. “Before we proceed with your teachings, I will describe to you some of its difficulties." Luna said, having made up her mind, a little hastily, catching the impatient look of her companion and, judging by her facial expression, almost preempting some kind of taunt. “The hardest part in the magic of dreams is the beginning. How...” She mused, finding an analogy. “The study of any skill is a ladder, but sleepwalking is a ladder that has no first steps. And one must be able to climb up to the first rung of the ladder. It took me more than a month to do this when I felt the need to learn this difficult skill.” “I doubt that we have this much time.” With an expression of slight disappointment, Nightmare leaned back and shook her head, looking at her interlocutor doubtfully. “I had been learning everything by a book, myself. By the book, written by a pony very poetic and wordy indeed.” Luna twitched her wings, remembering the style, which was monstrous for such a book, full of transitions to abstract themes, reflections by the author and colorful metaphors. Definitely, the ancient wizard was a strong one, but he had absolutely no scientific mind... “And there was no need to be in a hurry then. “You're tenacious and you do understand why do you need it - I’m sure you’ll be able to make it faster, Nightmare. And I hope, that I’d explain everything needed clearly and rightly.” “Hm... And what problem do you have, you - if we're using your comparison – who had climbed this ladder?” “I had and I was thrown back down, this time without the talent, which helped me. The talent, which I’m no longer worthy of.” Princess sighed. “I remember what and how to do, but there’s no longer proper delicacy and power. Now I can't catch the right state of mind...” “And I’d get it right off the bat.” The skepticism in the black mare’s voice could be drawn out by a spoon. “Of course.” The former ruler of dreams smiled shyly at... A student? “Tell me, Nightmare, have you ever felt that fine line, that separates dream from reality? The feeling that this is the moment when you fall asleep? How does sleep come?” “Hm...” She raised her eyebrows. “Well... A couple of times, if I’m thinking what you're thinking. I woke up instantly and couldn't fall asleep for a while afterwards.” “Here is the most difficult part: to feel this boundary - and to stay on it without waking up abruptly or falling asleep. When you are able to stand so firmly, that magic can be created, you have passed the most difficult first step.” “Sleeping soundly without falling asleep and waking up.” Nightmare Moon chuckled. “Sounds... Peculiar. I don't know why, but I want to try it for some reason.” “Because it’s yours.” Luna smiled. “And catching this borderline state will become easy and habitual with time.” “So the first point of the plan is to catch the feeling without falling asleep while trying..." The excitement on the Mare in the Moon's face dissolved before Luna's eyes, replaced by an unhappy, tense thoughtfulness. “Damn it, I'll probably just pass out ‘till the morning and then wait all day for the evening to try again... Yeah... I can see why it took you so long." She chuckled sadly. “This is why it will be the second point of the plan.” The Princess of the Night nodded, not being able to hold a smile with ends of her lips. “And first you need to learn how to fall asleep at any desired moment, not just when you are feeling sleepy. And to do it without any external assistance, be it a drink or medicine. In the meantime, I will try to climb that impregnable ladder again. And the first one of us to do it, will help the second one... by sending... the necessary feeling through the dream, so that she will feel and remember it.” “There’s a feeling, that we will spend at least three months on it.” Nightmare Moon mumbled under her breath, sighing quietly. “But maybe it's better than doing nothing at all. We’ll try.”
46. Tungsten of ScienceAuthor's Note "Sleep is a science in itself! If you can sleep - do it. You never know when the next possibility of it will appear..." Original author's note. 46. Tungsten of Science “...Nightmare!...” “M?.. A?!” “You're doing not bad already, well done! But it's too early to stop. Try once more.” “Ye-a-a-ah...” I yawned with a crunch, opening my chops wide, rubbed my eyes with the back of my wrist and stared glumly at Luna. No, I understand that it is necessary, that it’s practice... But it already pisses me off! And then my head is all dizzy, square and aching, after all these "fall asleep - wake up - repeat". But at least I’m getting a little bit better at it now... One would ask: what kind of study is it to learn to fall asleep quickly? At first, I dismissed it with a chuckle - like a bullshit question. Fell asleep, woke up, and did it again - what's the big deal? But when you stop sleeping properly because of this training, because the body wakes up every fifteen minutes by itself, the bastard, that's when you realize the whole lowdown. I yawned long and hard again, slamming my mouth shut with a knock and wiping away my coming tears. I looked around the room in a blurry glance. We studied, as usual, in Luna's bedroom: the giant round bed was perfect for studying dream magic. Luna is showing off. Lotus eater. She even has three pillows! I sighed quietly: I want that too! The bed in the guest quarters was, of course, suitable in height, and in fact a double bed, but it’s still somewhat limited in maneuverability. And there were only two pillows on it! I took another look at the blue one, which put a hoof onto "Principles of Optimizing Energy-Consuming Magical Structures" and was looking at me with feigned sympathy, sighed, putting my head on the pillow and making myself comfortable. I shut my eyes. It has been about a week since I arrived - the answer to even this question didn't seem obvious because of my completely disrupted sleep patterns. Thanks God – it was not in vain: I was able to knock myself out quite steadily yesterday, even if only under certain conditions for the time being. Well, it was hardly a matter of principle - this is a castle, after all - the conditions will be as they are needed, it's not difficult here. Princess, rushing like a fire, took the day to consolidate the material, and tomorrow she promised to start loading me up with attempts to climb that ladder to the dream realm. I didn't feel much ready myself yet. I felt that I was fed up with it, and that I wanted to sleep, not this, for fuck’s sake! And to talk to someone! Not about business, not about studies, just about stuff, God damn it! Share successes and failures, chitchat about... cooking recipes, for example, I don't know! But with whom here? With the teachers? With the Luna's blockheads? With herself? Yeah... It’s so... Wistful here, sometimes it almost brings me to tears. You crawl into your room after a busy day, take a shower, go out into a huge, empty and silent room, and under its five-meter-high ceilings among the luxurious, but government-issue furniture you acutely feel, that nobody cares about you. While you have been working your ass off all day, doing something that could be completely and utterly worthless, under the guidance of someone and with goals from the “who fucking knows” book. Maybe it's all smoke and mirrors? Is Luna really going to teach me? I wish someone would just come in and ask: “Nightmare, how are you? How is it going?” But who cares about me here... I curled up and covered my head with my wing. I've had enough of this bullshit! I want to go home, back to Rar and to the others... Sweetie would get my hair done, but I'm just walking around with my hair combed and my mane in a ponytail, which is only slightly less disheveled. And letting Luna's servants close... Nope, it’s not worth it! If Sweetie... I'd agree even for a bow! And Pinkie is probably... “Nightmare?.. How are you? Is everything alright?” My wing was shyly touched from outside. Everything is great! You blue idiot! “Get lost!” My own voice sounded pitiful for some reason. Damn it!.. “Sorry, I... Overdid with the trainings. Please, tell me what can I do for you?” “Remove this sympathetic tone - I won't believe it anyway.” I said dully, overcoming my reluctance to respond. She sets my teeth on the edge! “And leave me alone!” “You can swear and blaspheme me for this..." I felt the bed sag, and then I was gently hugged by a wing. "But I won't leave you like this, Nightmare.” Judging by the voice, Luna smiled. Incomprehensive scumbag! Damn it! I gritted my teeth and irritatedly shoved her wing off with mine, looking out from under it at the same time. Yeah, smiling, sympathetic, all that stuff. Devious bastard. “If thou art in no possessio of the Equestrian lingua, which is used to sprecan nowadayes - Yfel hlêotan ġenōg cnāwan of the old language, If in the emptiness of your mind, like speaking to a vissen, there is only way for it: go away from me, you flattering and vile brat!” What a plethora, hey!.. My mood even rose a bit. I chuckled, looking at the somewhat lost expression on the blue one's face. Beautiful... “I... Fine.” She stepped back with a sigh. “Nightmare, I’m really trying to help. Please, tell me what I can do for you?” I turned away, laying my head on the other side. The mood I'd lifted went back down again. Damn it, blue, who do you take after to be so... bullheaded? I was angry, I snapped at her - sometimes unintentionally, sometimes on purpose... And somehow, I started to feel a certain respect for her: Luna, no matter how much my words hurt her - and they hurt her visibly - she was like an unshakable rock, answering my curses with silence or with all those "sorry" and "please"! And getting the real her out from under that armor, with her real words and thoughts about me, leads to nothing, making me feel more and more like an insulting, self-assertive, dumb shithead to a good and kind pony. Now, how to... Damned horse! I couldn't get revenge, and now I have no idea what to do with her at all! I flicked her once with a weak lightning bolt, when I was fed up with her, she only flinched in pain, looked at me like a beaten dog... begged forgiveness. I still feel like I'm covered in slop... S-bitch, ah... Why is that?!.. I... I don't know what to do with her or how to live. I don't know and I don't want to know! I don't want anything! I want to go home... “Don't be sick at heart, Nightmare. “You can always invite your friends over to spend some time together, if you’d like." Luna's voice made me wince in surprise. Did I really say that out loud?.. “Or you might go to them yourself. But I beg you: not for long! We... We don’t have much time.” I froze, digesting the thought. Escape to Ponyville to take a few days off... Good thought, why didn't I think about that myself? “I don't know what you'll get out of it, but thanks for the idea." I muttered, thinking about the schedule and what a nice surprise it would be for Rar if I showed up like this, with some presents, too. “You are welcome, Nightmare. Be happy.” How can you hate her properly after that?.. What a scumbag you are, blue one... “It's better for us to continue." I mumbled gloomily, turning to Luna again and pulling on my front leg, which was a little stiff from the uncomfortable position I was in. Hell with these thoughts... ... “... Can be read about this question. And the first one is even necessary, as it is probably the most complete description of today's topic.” “Thanks. I hope I'd be able to find time for it.” I sighed, suppressing a yawn, rubbing my forehead. My head is buzzing. “So, until Thursday?” “Yeah, of course. Goodbye, Your Grace. I mean...” Endless Scroll hesitated - my guide in the world of jurisprudence and Equestrian law. “Don't take offense...” “It’s okay. Just go.” I chuckled. Yeah, “Grace” in Nightmare Moon’s address sounds really impressive... The mare, with a brief bow, hurried to follow the advice. I followed her with a long glance. Loaded me, damn it... The news was of the "what the hell now" variety. It was my own fault, of course, that it was news to me - I could have made up my mind to study the subject. I had tried, though, at first, but both times Twilight had very inopportunely taken the necessary codes right out from under my nose. As a result, I gave up, and then I was too busy and forgot about it. And now, taking into account the news, I have a vague suspicion, that someone directly advised our purple nerd to keep this literature away from me, just in case. The thing is that an incomprehensible scarecrow and an incomprehensible scarecrow aware of his quite considerable status are, after all, two big differences... I'm a high-born, blue-blooded aristocrat, and, in fact, the fifth person in the state, so to speak. Not bad, ay! And that's because any Equestrian I-have-horn-and-wings person has an a priori title equal to the maximum for any other pony of any other race. I think Tia wrote this law for Luna, so that she wouldn't have any problems when she returned to Equestria at all. But in the end, Tia created a problem for herself, when I was brought back here as well, and I fit into this law quite well... Well, what are you gonna do? It’s not my fault. I sniffed and laughed shortly, shaking my head. In sum, my current title of "Princess acquired" is equal in status to that of "pony-Prince" in Blueblood, although the latter has a higher priority in the succession to the throne. Only Cadence, the "Crown Princess," and Tia herself and Luna, the "reigning Princesses," have a higher status. Interestingly, in Equestrian, these three Princess titles, worn exclusively by Alicorns, are a single word, slightly differing in prefix and not the same as "Prince-pony" Bluesy, which literally means "deputy of Queen" or something like that, rather than "heir to the throne". In general, the duties are quite appropriate: to temporarily take charge of the country, if at the moment there is suddenly no one else to do so. The titles of alicorns are derived from "Princess," which is "heiress," and, interestingly enough, this word is exclusively feminine in modern Equestrian. So, a hypothetical alicorn stallion would be a Princess by title, so to speak. I chuckled. Well, back to rights and responsibilities... The guards can only wag a finger at me. No, not even that, for lack of a body part... Ahem, yes... The guards can't, anyway. Not without a direct order from the Reigning Princess, because only the bearer of that title, which is Tia, has the right to judge and punish me - as well as Cadence and Bluesy. Or Luna... Yeah, I can understand it... You can't deny Tia's wisdom. Perhaps it's not a bad thing that I only found out about it now, or else I might have gotten carried away by it... I wondered before why the local authorities didn't react to my antics, but I considered it a separate request from Celestia, and it turned out to be all in the paper, and it had been for a long time, though it’s far from common knowledge for those who don’t work in the field of law. Of all the people I knew in Ponyville, Twilight seemed to be the only one who knew anything, since neither Rar nor Applejack, who were definitely savvy enough to run their own business, were aware of it. Rar would have said otherwise for sure. And would have bowed, yep... Rarity, presenting herself with a bow after every word and looking ingratiatingly in my eyes, poking her nose into everything she can. I shivered. Na-ah, she's not that strange! We're friends, why would she... She’d better find about it later. I was planning to fly out to hug the unicorn the day after tomorrow, by the way. Luna wanted to give me new material for tomorrow, in the hope that maybe I'd get some practice in Ponyville in the couple of days I’m going to be there. I don't know... And I didn't want to miss the joint flight training: the stern gray-haired old man, who has been Luna's - and now my too - instructor knew his job very well. But he looked at both of us like we were piles of shit. I chuckled, glanced thoughtfully around my temporary office - impressed once again by the decoration and scale - and involuntarily shuddered, when I looked at the figure, frozen in the doorway. "Silent little shit." I mentally scolded the familiar dark purple mouse-winged mare in her night guard armor. “Sorry if I disturbed your thoughts.” She bowed, noticing my attention. “Mistress Luna sends you an invitation to dinner in half an hour in the private dining room.” It’s the same thing every day... Hasn't she had enough? I opened my mouth for the usual refusal, but, frozen for a second by the sudden idea, I answered, seeming to surprise the thestral: “Say, I agree. And to the cook, a wish to see a fish dish on the table.” “I apologize, but...” The messenger bowed abruptly, hesitating a bit. “I fear it's beyond ponies’ power to find and cook fish in 30 minutes! If you wish, then for the tomorrow's dinner... And... Are you sure?” I was looked at by somewhat doubtful and a bit panicking gaze. “What’s the problem?” I rose a brow. “But you're... Sorry... Not a night pony! I mean, of course, a night one, but not the night as we are, but...” The guardian started to talk fast with increasing panic in her eyes. “Sorry, I mean!... M-m-m!..” “I’m not a thestral. Go on.” I unclenched the telekinesis’ grab on the pony's muzzle. What a good way to put a word in, after all. Practical. I hope I didn't slam her tongue... “Only thestrals, of all the ponies, are carnivorous! And you, well... you are more like a day pony?.. Sorry, I...” “Maybe I just wanted to try it?” I interrupted the guardian, chuckling. “Just for fun. You know, curiosity has been gnawing at my heart for a while, and the only meat you have here is your guards and some servants...” “O-okay! Everything will be done!” The thestral bowed with enthusiasm. Dashed a drop of sweat away from her forehead. “Good. Then less bones and a small portion. For starters.” Fangs are fangs, but who knows if I would like it... And why did I remember about fish just now? ... “Good evening, Nightmare. Glad to see you.” Luna plausibly feigned a warm smile Nodding in response, I took my seat across from her. Two different salads, flowers, and for decoration, if you like, an appetizer, a pitcher of some berry juice, judging by the color, and a bowl of porridge. Also, a knife, three spoons, two forks, and two napkins. I wouldn't have remembered all of this if not this... One ordinary fork would be enough for everything - but no, they had to make it complicated and show off all sorts of unnecessary stuff! “Condiments?” The alicorn looked up at me as the hostess of our humble dinner, without the help of servants, and put porridge on her plate. “Mushroom sauce.” “You're welcome!” A plate filled with fragrant porridge and mushroom gravy and garnished with lettuce leaves and dill came down on the table in front of me. “Enjoy your meal, Nightmare.” I nodded again, and then held my gaze on the spoons. I took the porridge spoon, the one that was a little deeper and less elongated. Show offs, yeah... And it's inevitable that I'll have to do the same with the title I have now, one way or another. Damn it. I would be glad to forget about this gibberish, but... When in Rome, do as the Romans do, after all. And it is better to say hell with it, knowing what you're saying hell to and not just out of stupidity. Tasty! Not what Spike cooked at Twi's home... No, he could cook, and not bad, but how can you cook something that's initially inedible? Semolina with jam – I’d kill the person who thought that this was a good idea... “Thanks for accepting my invitation.” Luna tilted her head with feigned thankfulness and a slight smile, that should be shown during such occasions, when we finished the main course. “I'm glad to be able to spend this dinner with someone.” Pfft... If you're so worried about being alone at dinner, you should order strippers, man, I don't know... I stumbled at my own thought. Does she... I mean, she feels the same way I do, right?.. Same teachers, same servants, same guards. Her secretary, the head of the guards, but she is “Her Majesty” to them. And me. I don't see them communicating with Tia... Ah, yes, she's traveling around the country right now, if I’m not mistaken... But I have Ponyville. Rar, Sweetie, Pinkie, Scoot, Flutty. Maybe even AJ... But there’s nowhere to go for Luna, right?.. I shook my head evilly. It’s her problems! She could have!.. I don't know... A-a, damn it... “...?” “What? I got distracted.” I shook my head again, snapping back in reality. Finally, a blue one's question to me even rose my mood a bit. “What do you want to eat?” I was looked at with a slight concern. “This.” I waved with a fore leg half-heartedly towards the left bowl with a salad. “I... Tell me, why did you agree to come by today? Here, you're welcome.” The bowl with the chosen dish was lowered before me. I wanted to see your flattering face, damn. I nodded somberly, restraining my emotions and suppressing the urge to send the blue one inquiring to the places where God hasn't been to. As a matter of fact, I wouldn't have come without a reason... “Because I wanted to rent one of your blockheads to run to Ponyville and bring me my money.” “Oh, there’s no need in doing this.” The blue one emphasized a smile. “If you need something, that is absent in the castle, I’ll order it immediately. Or finance it - no matter how much.” “I don't need your freaking money! I have to lay my hooves on mine, and make it before my departure to Ponyville! And your ponies aren't delicate flower girls, one flight shouldn’t be a problem.” Luna sighed and looked somewhere out the window thoughtfully. “I... I understand that you are inclined to see any gift of mine as throwing a bone and an attempt to buy myself a pardon, but... But can't I do so out of the goodness of my heart, without any selfish motives, only wishing to help you sincerely? There is so much money in the... bank in my name that I can easily buy a small town; my sister took care of it long ago. But what do I need it for? At least let them serve you well!” The alicorn turned and stared in my eyes from under her brows with stubbornness. I stared back unblinking. What a concrete idiot, damn it!.. Can't you just do as you've been told? She's got it in her head that I want something from her, and now she's sticking her nose in every hole with her "help"! She's the person I don't want to get any gifts from for sure!.. But, of course, it would be easier and faster... Damn it! For a few seconds I tried to put the thought out of my head. I rolled my jaw, and exhaled through my teeth. Fuck with it. I’ll just pay it away with mine. I don't want to make a big deal out of it... I blinked, returning to reality. Luna, surprisingly, never took her eyes off me, but she looked sad, sympathetic, and, it seemed, with grief, carefully hidden in the depths of her soul. Are our eyes the same color? “Fine, Nightmare, I...” “Okay, abyss with you...” We started to talk at the same time. We became wordless, looking at each other in anticipation. “What are you looking at?” I snapped with dissatisfaction. “Be proud of yourself - you've persuaded me. Get your money here.” “Will be happy to help.” The blue one masked her triumphal grin by a warm smile. “When and how much do you need?” “Tomorrow, can do it today. I don't have a clue how much. I know nothing about local prices.” I mumbled it like a tongue-twister. Keep calm, I’ll pay it back afterwards! She was just about to give me gifts... “I know partially. What are you going to buy?” “Lots of things...” I mused. Alas, for some of the items, the ideas did not occur to me... Well, I hope I will not fail. “Expensive and rare fabrics, a scooter - sturdy and reliable, a thing, this..." I wiggled my foot, trying to remember the name, waving it away hopelessly. “For making milkshakes. And...” I bit my lip and dove into nervous thoughts: I can't think of the thing I want to gift to Sweetie. She loves to sing, but she's a little shy, and she hides her eyes when she notices she's not alone. A ticket to opera? Na-ah... A microphone? For that shy girl? I don't know... The unicorn also loved to make me beautiful: with a noticeable pleasure from the process and from the result, she made me all sorts of hairstyles, and gradually began to drive wedges on the subject of makeup, sighing, as if incidentally, about "the incomplete image without this mascara and this shadow". I've been slipping away from this for the time being... The only thing that came to mind as a normal gift was a barber's kit with scissors and, I don't know, a comb, for example... But using scissors to cut hair, even those quite adapted to ponies, required a specific training of hoofkinesis, for the more accessible everyday grip with the mouth for a barber was not good enough. She had no telekinesis, which could reliably get rid of all these problems... And that was in addition to the fact, that it takes more than just holding scissors to cut hair beautifully. Anything on the subject of manicures then? Yeah, and who's the first person she's going to go get a manicure on? Yeah, that's the thing... What else? She was also enthusiastic about going to school, which, now that Tiara and Spoon have left her in peace, seems to have become her favorite place in Ponyville. But I wouldn't gift her a textbook, would I?.. I rubbed my forehead with fury and rested my head with my hooves. I don't know! “Not a textbook”, “not a textbook”, hm... Hm!.. “...?” Luna's voice, with a hint of concern, broke through my mind, trying to bring me back to reality. “Fine...” I mumbled, grinning. I've got a thought! “Nightmare?” “Yeah, I’m here.” Erasing the smile from my face, I looked at the alicorn, now with thoughtfulness. “What do you need?” “You started to muse mid-word. Maybe I can help you with something?” “You can, you can actually...” I nodded slowly. The money is just half of the adventure. Beside it, I could use some responsible fellows to buy everything - I don't think I should go into town just yet. I don't know Canterlot, and, oddly enough, Canterlot doesn't know me. A newspaper is a newspaper, but how many people read it? And how many took it as a fact - in Ponyville, ninety percent of the inhabitants must have seen me in person at least once, anyway?.. It would be better if I do this myself, of course... Okay, I’ll think about it. I could always tail my agent to be my guide, if only I had an agent. “You can, you can...” I repeated slowly. “Everything from it should be bought. I could use someone who knows the city, knows about these things, and can buy something nice, something that I wouldn't be ashamed to look at. Otherwise, I'm afraid I'll spend a week looking around the city for the right stores with the right things...” “Don't worry, I'll send the right ponies to you, and you can tell them exactly what you need. I'm sure they won't let you down." The blue one smiled, but then frowned: “And... If it's possible... Please, Nightmare, refrain from going out into the city in person. I mean, I don't intend to forbid you, but it seems to me...” “Well, I wasn't going to." I interrupted Luna, whose thoughts seemed to coincide with my own. She once mentioned, that some ponies run away from her too... They are right, in fact: if Luna is near, there will be trouble, personally tested... “Thank you for understanding.” She tilted her head, seeming to breathe a sigh of relief, as if she was glad that she didn't have to explain or justify this request to me. I nodded, turning back to my meal, and the alicorn followed suit, picking up her spoon as well. That's right. It's always the plain and simple "eating", that turns into endless dramatic conversations... “Nightmare, would you mind my asking?” Luna caught my attention again as I finally, under the timid dreams of tomorrow's fish, finished my lean salad, which was lean even by the ponies’ standard. “You can try.” I defiantly put the empty bowl aside with a hoof, sighing. With food this depressing, it's no wonder you want to get away from it for a while, at least for conversation. Yeah, Tia had a better cook... Or I was hungrier then. “M-m, I can, right?” Luna laid back her ears shyly. “Such different items... These are gifts, right? For friends?” You're too smart, Luna. People don’t like that. “Something like that. But these are lousy gifts - they’ll be bought with your money and with your servants’ choice...” I cringed for a moment. “And still!” The enthusiastic pony even stood up from her seat, leaning her front legs on the tabletop. “I guess it’s so nice to have friends! I’m so happy for you! And... To be honest - I’m a little jealous.” She sat back, her eyes downcast. “Jealous, “happy for you”...” With a slight irritation, I moved my gaze away from my interlocutor to the second bowl of salad, the contents of which were securely hidden by a layer of sour cream on top. Damn it... “Friendship means trust, blue one, and it's very hurtful for your health to trust sometimes. I’m speaking from experience, trust me. And after all, you had a friend back on the Moon. You had.” Luna shivered and hid her gaze. “And it burns me inside with eternal flame.” She answered dully. “I would give a lot to turn back time and..." The alicorn sighed wistfully and sighed hopelessly without finishing. Good words without good deeds are... I chuckled quietly. I glanced around the room, which was enveloped in dense silence. A round table with a cream-colored tablecloth. Again, instead of dinner some nonsense came out... On the walls - wallpaper of luxurious appearance and texture in the color of the tablecloth with some silvery monograms in the picture. Decorative "pillar-like" columns in the corners, one of which is supposedly wrapped in an artificial vine that sprawls beautifully on the wall, figured moldings under the ceiling, an eight-light crystal chandelier, polished parquet in milk chocolate color, curtains on... “Nightmare...” Breaking the silence, Luna pulled me away from my viewing. “I think you can trust your friends. Fortunately, there are only few ponies, capable of an atrocity such as the one I committed. And since they already believed in you no matter what, they won't abandon you.” Alicorn forced a smile. “I've never had anyone believe in me like that until now, except my sister and maybe Cadence... I think it’s not an enigma...” I even felt sorry for drooping Princess for a moment, gazing at her. “Yeah, sad to hear.” I commented in a flat, unemotional tone, and inwardly I was furiously eradicating the feeling. You wanted to be alone on the Moon - be alone, then! Stupid horse... Dinner was finished in uncomfortable silence.
47. Recumbence of Soul“That’s all folks, bye-bye! I’ll be on my own from now forth, we’ll meet down there!” I shouted to the pegasi and, opening my wings to the onrushing current, flew off the chariot hurriedly, almost jerkily, but the chariot just went on. Yee-haw!!! I went into a sharp left turn, descending toward the haze-shrouded town. I was enjoying the rushing stream, that was hitting me in the face, ruffling my mane and playing with my feathers. Freedom! I smiled carelessly, pushing my lips together again as I felt my cheeks puff up in an instant. I imagined what it looked like, chuckled and started to shudder, trying to laugh without opening my mouth. A few more downward spirals, braking, and a slightly sloppy, "Like a sack, forgive me Celestia! F! Again!”, landing on the faintly tickling grass of the pads of my feet on that familiar and known lakeside hill. Hello, Ponyville! It feels like home! And I think it is really home... I walked around, enjoying the sensation, smoothing my disheveled mane as best I could, trimming my feathers so that they lay nicely. Took out one, that clearly intended to fall out soon. Straightened my usual bags. Well, I guess that's all there is to it - there's absolutely nothing else to do for appearance... “Ma'am?” I turned towards the voice of the silver-gray pegasus from the pair on whose wings I've come most of the way. The light yellow eyes stared at me with obvious reproach. “Where to unload? Do you need help delivering it?” The winged-one left his reproach in his mouth. I glanced towards the chariot parked nearby, in which the second pegasus was gently tugging my luggage. It consisted of four heavy rolls and two even heavier boxes. I could, of course, use telekinesis, though six objects... No, it would be easier to take the rolls as one to three and... No, listen. I don't want to be accidentally distracted and drop the cloth into the river, or break the shaker on the sidewalk. Risk is a noble thing, but I'm more afraid for the gifts than for my reputation. “I think I do.” I nodded, drawing a conclusion. They dismantled the cargo, formed a wedge with me at the head, and moved towards the town. The pegasi grabbed the boxes, leaving me with the cloth. Thinking about it, I put two rolls under my wings and pressed them to my sides. Not the height of comfort, but bearable. Like carrying a two liter bottle under my armpit. Ah, Ponyville! I squeezed my eyes shut, took a deep breath. I kind of... missed it. The monumental rooms and corridors of the castle, unfriendly, uninhabited, deprived of those trifles and details that distinguish a living space from a non-residential - in addition to a pinching sense of its abandonment and uselessness... They pressed like a gravestone. It was like living in a museum: luxurious, sterile, and silent until your ears squeaked, until you wanted to scream - just so there would be some sounds, like... like there. And no one in the whole world to come to that scream... I shuddered. The servants, who were all so neutrally neutral and glassy-eyed. Luna's blockheads, just like she - always so falsely friendly and compassionate. Only now do I realize how much I really wanted to get away from there... “Ma'am?” “M? I was wondering a bit.” I shook my head and realized, that I’m standing next to a crossroad. It seems I was in thought for a while if they yanked me. Ahem, yeah... “Left.” We turned. The town is just around the corner. The streets will begin soon. “Greetings, Nightmare!” “Good day!” “Hello. Hello!” The greetings of random passersby spread like honey over my soul, making me blissfully close my eyes. Not like at Luna's place... No, the guards welcomed me there, too, and even with a certain respect, but... I didn't trust their words and looks. Luna, by the way, took offense yesterday at another designation of her mouse-winged cubs as "blockheads". So she gave a little lecture on them, which wasn't uninteresting, I must say. It was not long after she and her sister began to rule Equestria. There’s the story. The elder of a distant tribe of pegasi asked Princesses to help them. They hadn't had won some unicorn's favor, and making things worse, he was a powerful dark magician, and he cursed the whole tribe. The poor pegasi couldn't eat properly, saw less and less each day, and their wings were gradually losing their strength. By the time they were able to give Princesses a request for help, they had already had their first deaths... A community of hundreds of five or seven ponies, living somewhere on the outskirts of Equestria, was almost doomed to extinction. So the pegasi messaged the request for help to Princesses. Not everyone made it... Princesses, of course, did not ignore what was happening. Moreover, given the complexity of the situation, they decided to personally come to the pegasus village and deal with everything on the spot. The curse was a tricky one - whatever the villagers had done to piss him off, the magician had spared no time or effort. As a result, Tia decided it was impossible to break his curse, and headed back out. No wonder so: after all, she could not leave the throne for long. Luna, on the other hand, did not want to leave with her sister, leaving the pegasi to die, and stayed behind. She spent nearly a month trying to save them, and she partially succeeded. She could not destroy the curse, but she was able to change and redirect its effect, so that the cursed pegasi turned into thestrals. Luna herself was so exhausted, that she nearly kicked the bucket and was left without magic for a few months. The freshly formed thestrals began to call her the Great One, or sometimes even the Great Mother, as a symbol of her selflessness in giving them all life. And they have also been her guards ever since, serving her until her exile - and, of course, they resumed their service when she returned, though they still live in isolation and have little contact with Equestria. I was also brought here with Luna, so the mice, who had fought a good fight in the past about which hypostasis of the Great Mother was greater, now had a problem with the debit and the credit... Well, it’s their problems. In addition to history, I learned a little about them. The thestrals can't see very well, especially in the light, but they have incredible hearing. They also fly a little differently than pegasi, but they're excellent at keeping their balance - some kind of vestibular feature. They can even sleep on the ceiling with their tails upside down! Haven't seen it myself yet, but Luna claims the truth is pure. Part of their magic or something... Normal ponies, if they work hard and practice, also have a tail and mane that's surprisingly agile, but thestrals have an easier time with it, and their devices work better. I'll have to check it out sometime, and see for myself. Interesting, God damn it! But the most interesting thing about them was their diet, which was close to a human's. That is, without outright grass, but with fish - towards omnivorousness. Something had to be changed so the cursed could eat... Luna was both proud and horrified by the solution, but she couldn't think of anything else, and there wasn't much time. And yet thestrals were ponies: they could eat meat, but the idea was clearly not their cup of tea. They ate fish, reconciling themselves with the peculiarities of their diet since childhood. Their ancient traditions, and the fact, that the fish of Equestria, despite the universal fashion for at least a very conventional, but reasoning among the local animals, was, in the manner of the Earth, completely dull, and could not ask not to eat itself. Well, it's great, because otherwise I would not have tried it either, because the impression was... very ambiguous. On the one hand - the smell and taste seemed quite familiar: the latter even a little unusual, but quite recognizable and pleasant. On the other hand... I felt very keenly, that the fish had recently been alive, swimming and not touching anyone - and it comes with a spice of painful, back-chilling creepiness, a forbidden interest in trying it. There wasn't even a comparison for the sensation. Something that, once you try it, you cut off your way back and realize it... and you can't refuse. I understand, that Nightmare has never even thought to try fish. But with the seasoning of such feelings and sensations, a piece of the fish was hard to fit in my throat, even despite the excellent taste and almost complete absence of bones. The cook has done his best. In general, the result was questionable, so I refused to add fish to the menu permanently, at least for now. In any case, up to now I have lived pretty well without fish and meat, although I have to eat a lot, especially after hard work. So... “Ma'am?” I woke up and looked around to find myself frozen ten paces away from “Carousel”. A sweet, lingering anticipation pervaded my soul. I'm... I'm home. “You can unload here. Thanks for the help!” I smiled radiantly at the pegasi, who stepped back in synchrony from my gratitude. “Happy to help...” The silvery gray flyer mumbled a bit nervously. After adjusting the rolls of cloth under my wings to make them more comfortable, I walked impatiently back and forth in front of the boutique, squinting my eyes at it and trying not to jump up and down while my companions carefully unloaded their burdens on the sidewalk. “Are we allowed to head back, ma’am?” “You are. A fair wind and a clear sky.” I nodded, turning around hurriedly. “Thanks.” Pegasus smiled shyly. “Same to you, ma’am!” The charioteers turned around simultaneously and started to clip-clop in the backward direction, bowing briefly. Following them with a gaze, I picked up the boxes with my magic, and danced towards the entrance to Rarity's house. “How are y...” The artistic greeting with a spectacular swing of the door hung in the air: the door did not give way. Closed?.. Wait.. I tugged stupidly on the door again, making sure that it was - yes - locked. It’s... Damn, I've never seen Rar, using lock on the door in the entire life! She just mentioned once, that it's needed if she is going to somewhere for a long time... “Fucking shit...” I mumbled under my breath, lowering the boxes onto the porch with accuracy and feeling the swiftly diving mood. Brilliant! I moved the rolls of cloth that have sharply begun to pull down and irritate me from under my wings to the crates, and walked back and forth, nervously whipping my tail at my sides. This wasn't the arrival I've expected... Damn it! What now? Walked again. I shook my head frantically, getting rid of the thought, that Rar was home - she just doesn't want to see me, so she shut herself in. No! I don't believe it! Da-amn... What the fuck, ay?.. And it has to happen with me. I can't get anywhere with these presents, and my friends are gone, and it stinks of smoke!.. I forced myself to stop and calm down. Don't be so fucking hysterical, you can't make any sense out of it. “Friends spread out”... Sighed. Hm, but it really did smell like soot. It was unpleasant, with a hint of sulfur, and I wondered why I hadn't noticed it before. I glanced at the few bystanders, no one seemed particularly worried about it. Well, okay, then... Catching myself trying to start circling nervously again, I went up to the porch and sat down next to my boxes. I have to think what to do... “Good day!” I nodded welcomingly at the cornflower-colored earthpony, who spotted me on the porch and hesitated, but headed my way nonetheless. “You're looking for Rarity, aren't you?” She asked shyly. “She and her friends have gone to... To tackle the dragon.” The pony laid back her ears, clearly showing her thoughts about this idea. “They are not here since yesterday. Celestia, I hope they’ll be back soon and in good state!..” She sighed. “They’ll manage, there’s no choice given.” I mumbled in a crumbled way, though I wasn't sure about what I said for even a bit. “Thanks, at least I know now...” Damn it! Rar, where did you poke your nose into?!.. It hasn't been warm and cozy at home? Dragon-fighter!.. Dragon-bruiser!.. Dragon-combatant, damn her!.. I should have flown out yesterday! And Pinkie!.. “I was happy to help.” The pony forced a smile. “Goodbye, I guess...” “Yeah, see you.” I replied slowly, being occupied more and more by the panic thoughts. What if dragon would just... Every single one of them?.. I should fly to them and!.. I, standing up jerkily, upped my leg for a step decisively. And froze. “To them”, yeah... Where to, smarty-pants? I can barely remember the dragon-beating episode, and there was a mountain in it... Well, it's a short walk from Ponyville to the whole ridge! Choose any pinnacle that sticks out and fly - maybe in a week you'll find the right one... Man, what should I do then?! Ask the way? Well, they'll poke me with a hoof in the direction of the mountains, saying "somewhere there," aha! And? Da-amned bi-itch, ay! Fucking shit! I slammed my hoof on the porch in anger, leaving a clearly visible splinter on the carefully painted boards. What the hell am I supposed to do? With a dull roar of helplessness, I threw myself up in the air with my wings. Maybe I would see the source of the smoke from high above, or at least understand the approximate direction. And then... I'll smear that scaly creature across the ridge like a lump of fucking plasticine! And if Rarity is!.. “Careful!” “Argh!” After a panicked scream, someone's body flew into me, knocking the air out of my lungs and painfully catching the edge of my right wing. The world in front of my eyes spun chaotically, showing now the sky, now the rapidly approaching houses... Fu-u-uck!!! Abruptly coming to my senses, I desperately worked my wings, trying to stop the chaotic spinning and level off. Come on! Come o-o-on!!! “A-a-a!!!..” I reflexively shielded my eyes, expecting to collide with the bright green roof of someone's house. But the roof did come a few inches from my belly, disturbing my fur with the change in airflow - and an unpleasant chill, that ran down my spine. I braked and flopped carelessly onto the first empty spot I could find. Some lawn off the street - I cursed out loud and sighed, sucking in the smelly air with all my lungs, feeling my heart racing and my legs trembling and shaking. Yeah... It was close... “Are you alright?” The sound of wings flapping came from behind me. A pegasus the color of wet asphalt with a two-color mint and turquoise striped mane landed easily and at ease next to me. “A thousand sorry, I didn't want to!..” “You all say that.” I panted, barely swallowing my saliva, which for some reason has become as viscous as gel. “It turned out so unexpectedly!.. They won't take me into “Wonderbolts”.” The pegasus waved away, cringing, though a clear relief can be heard in his voice. “Are you really alright, Nightmare Moon?” “No, I’m not!” I grumbled. “You are a weather-maker, aren't you?” I tried to remember the stallion, which was in my sight just one or two times. “I’m.” He admitted slowly, laying back his ears. “Thunderlane, miss...” “Don't you “miss”.” I cringed reflexively. “Where the smoke comes from? Say precisely, until the concrete mountain!” “E-e...” He lagged. “It doesn't already. We’re dispersing the rest - to the extent we can. There’s too few of us for the whole town!..” “What do you mean “it doesn't”?!” I turned around sharply and, stepping, hovered over the pegasus. “New smoke doesn't come already!” He stepped back reflexively. “How so? Dragon?..” I didn't understand. “It seems, that Dash and her friends were able to persuade him to leave. Well, he did.” Pegasus smiled shyly. “Now we’re dispersing the rest of the smoke - and by evening Ponyville will be able to breathe normal air all over the town.” So it means?.. And... “Ehm, if I’m not needed for you - maybe I'd get back to my work?..” Thunderlane stepped aside carefully. Slowed down. Stepped again. “Off you fly, feather miracle.” I waved away, chuckling nervously. “And... Thanks for the news, I guess?..” “You're welcome! Goodbye!” He said goodbye on the fly after my first words, and went up in a spectacular candle, to where half a dozen pegasi of the weather team were circling. “Crazy fool.” I exhaled, alternately massaging my eyes with my wrist. Of course Thunder wasn't stupid, clearly... I ran like a dumbass without looking around, and it's a good thing my flight didn't end on that ornate rooftop. If I hadn't practiced flying, I'd be smeared right now. And Grim Sky, Luna's instructor, thanks for all the slanted looks, too... Oh, yikes... Clutching my aching wing, I slowly headed out into the street, feeling a little calmer nonetheless. If the dragon has been sent away, then - as I hope - my friends are all right, as they were in the canon... Fine. I should head back, I guess - it's time to think what to do next... ... “...What about?..” “No-no, thank you! I’m not hungry at all! Not hungry at all-all!” The door rattled with sliding air right in front of my nose and finally slammed shut, cutting me off from the room where the food was delicious and plentiful. Very tasty. A lot of. And very persistent! I held the door with my telekinesis for a few more seconds - just to be sure. I exhaled and turned around, trying to get my wings to rest on my rounded sides at the same time. O-oh... The Apple Acres spread out before my eyes in all its glory: a big old barn of faded decaying red, all kinds of farming equipment, rows of apple trees rustling in the wind, and a corral with contented pigs lying in the dirt, which were being rationed phlegmatically by a big red horse with a yoke on his neck and a straw in his mouth. I found me, eying suspiciously the speechless farmer for too long, so I shook my head and looked somewhere in the direction of the barn. I have to occupy myself something with. Rarity, Pinkie... No, I sort of understood, that everything ended well in canon, that they weren't in danger, that they'd generally made it through and were already rushing home, that, after all, there was nothing I could do now, but... My heart was not in the right place. And that nasty, treacherous "What if?" kept creeping into my head, making my breath stiffen and my fur tingle. Damn it... Shaking my head again, I moved resolutely towards the barn. I must think less about it. Especially since I have ideas to occupy myself with. The smell of old dry boards, apples, and hay hung thickly in the warm, standing air inside. The lazily curling dust hung in the clouds of sunlight, that streamed through the small windows. Along the walls stood gadgets, things, gizmos, and contraptions of all sorts - often unknown to me; in a corner lurked a workbench, over which various tools were neatly hung, some barrels and boxes hung out, a cart stood... I waved my front foot in my face in a vain attempt to dispel the dust, and went to a flat stack, carefully covered with sacking. I lifted it, assessed it, and brought out the scooter box for Scootaloo. I have one thought... I took the box outside, walked back and forth, and settled down in a clearing a little away from the house. Let’s see what you're made of... I opened it carefully and took out the parts. There were only two: the board with the wheels and the rudder, which has been removed for the sake of compactness. I got rid of the package. I squinted at the thick plastic of the board, reinforced with a metal rail underneath and topped with large rubberized wheels with chiseled tread. I figured they don’t make the other treads on decent models, since paving stones are common in the Equestria. The yellow and blue colors of the Wonderbolts were painted everywhere, and the top of the board had their emblem on it, which was a lightning. I put the rudder in and locked it in place, looked at the result, applied a little effort in different directions. It looked solid, didn't squeak or wobble, and it spun well. A good thing. That's why I thought, as I remembered Scoot's remark about his drinking father, that this "good thing" might end up in a pawnshop later... But that's what ponies are. Even there they wouldn't take obvious someone else's, so it was definitely worth securing the scooter to a particular pony while I have the time. I took off the rudder and put everything back in the box so it wouldn't loom in plain sight. I got up from the grass I'd laid out on before I unpacked it, and went looking for Big Mac. He was no longer with the pigs, but he was easily found, though: he was servicing the cart in the barn. “Mac, listen, do you have some useless iron to throw away?” The stallion put the tool away, wagged his ear, got up in silence, and went to a corner of the barn. So?.. I followed him with a gaze in a slight stupor. After rustling and rattling in the corner, Big Mac just as leisurely approached me, silently holding out a rusty bayonet blade glued to his hoof. The front edge marked with a pothole, as if someone had once hit it in anger. “Here.” “Thanks.” Slowing a bit, I got the iron and examined it meticulously. There's enough volume, the corrosion doesn't seem to be too deep... It'll do. Mac, nodding, silently returned to the cart, and I got out of the barn and went to the box, which was left alone - to perform the plan. When I returned to "Carousel" after a breathtaking flight, that almost made me shit my pants, the question arose: what next? The six are on a mission, and Rar has closed the house, so I guess she's counting on someone else to accommodate her sister here for a while. Leaving Sweetie alone for her to cook for a few days is a sure way to a site of fire. I thought I'd look for her anyway, but it wasn't a good idea to leave the presents on the porch, either. I should leave them with someone to keep 'em until Rarity returned, but with whom? I rejected Twilight and Spike's dwelling, though the dragon was probably there, brightening up his leisure with comics. The other options were the Cakes, who were quite used to me because of my interactions with Pinkie, and the Apples, with whom the relationship was... even: we weren't really friends with Jack, we just chatted a little sometimes. On the other hand, thanks to the ticket I gave once away, they treated me rather warmly at the farm. And there was Apple Bloom. She probably knew where Sweetie and Scootaloo were. It decided the case in favor of “Apple Acres”, even though it wasn't much fun to walk to them with the boxes, and it was quite a long way. I had the good fortune to cross paths with McIntosh, who was returning from town with a cart behind him. He offered help in a few words, when he heard I was going to them. I gratefully accepted, loading the crates into the cart, and then regretted it all the way and quietly gritted my teeth at my flaming cheeks. I felt like a girl, whose guy picked up a heavy bag. And Mac is also... I can't stop thinking about the equalogist with her extraordinary effort!.. Damn it! Anyway, I made it to the farm with my gifts - I was a bit embarrassed, that I haven't bought something for AJ. Not that we were friends, of course, but... When Granny greeted me warmly and, complaining about my delicate silhouette, dragged me into the house to fatten me up, the feeling only grew stronger. The hospitable grandmother was quick to help me deal with it, burying it safely under the weight of the pies. Now they were pulling me inexorably towards the ground, making me puff away contentedly. Of-f... I found myself staring at the box with a hard-beaten shovel in a cloud of magic for a good few minutes. That's why I shook myself up and cautiously laid down again on the sun-heated grass. Well, let us go! I hope that the absence of the protective shield will not end with problems for me... The usual iron, like, no surprises... Having guessed how I can properly fasten the metal object in the base of the rudder, and then get rid of it without breaking the scooter in half, I lit up the horn. Here we go... ... “Phe-e-ew...” I shook my head cautiously and looked at the result of my work. A shiny silver solid piece that hugged the base of the rudder with a solid ring at the top and the board at the bottom. Plus, it's fused into the plastic along the edge, just to be safe... There was an inscription embossed on the smooth surface of the bevel between the rudder and the board: “Dear Scootaloo! Always be faster, higher, stronger! And don't betray your dream! Your friend, Nightmare Moon.” I smiled at the inscription and closed my eyes in satisfaction. The magic was gradually coming back to normal, and my powers were returning. The transformation of a piece of iron into stainless steel - well, I had a couple of times to see how it... "looked"- with a chrome-like sheen to the top layer, and a rather precise molding of the inscription didn't seem too difficult, and it didn't eat up my energy. Although, of course, it took a lot of time, and I had to take breaks, including memory dives for some of the nuances. It was... No, it was worth it. No matter what. I exhaled sharply and opened my eyes, looking at the scooter again. It's great. Now it looks more like a gift. I was also sure that it wasn't just something a servant had bought on loan, but something that I've my own hand in! Now it has more similarities to a normal gift. But the color... No, the coloring of the Wonderbolts would make the little one happy, but I personally wasn't so keen on it. Dull yellow and dull blue - nah... Maybe I should repaint it. Transforming the top layer isn't that hard. But it requires control, and I'm already a little tired... Oh, whatever! What, I can't do it? I chuckled. There was a kind of... inspiration. I just wanted to, that's all! I didn't even have to go far to get an idea of how to repaint: “Shadowbolts”! The dark version of the famous Equestrian pilots had its origins in, oddly enough, a kind of fan magazine for children and youth dedicated to “Wonderbolts”. There were puzzles and developmental riddles, mazes, crosswords, interesting facts in accessible language about the group, its history or about pegasi in general, quizzes... And the main thing - small comics with adventures of famous flyers with different degrees of fiction. Not the current ones - it was considered good form to write, as I understood, not about the current members of the group. So they wrote about the generation before last and the last generation, not denying in their imagination’s desires. That's where “Shadowbolts” originated, more than thirty years ago, as opponents of “Wonderbolts”. And, oddly enough, they have gained a certain popularity and become quite frequent opponents of the protagonists in the magazine. They were even honored by entire episodes during the eve of the Nightmare Night! In general, “Shadows” were more or less a household name, had recognizable colors and emblems, and even gathered a certain fan base around themselves and their image. Yeah... Sometimes it's useful to live in a library and listen to the conversations between readers, both with the librarian and her comic book-loving assistant, as well as among themselves... However, I've looked into a file of those magazines myself in recent years once, when looking for information on wing care, and even got a little bit hooked. Not for long, of course! I just wondered: how did Nightmare Moon, this one, replicate their images for Dash in front of the Two Sisters' Castle? How did she know? Alas, my memory of that moment was so scattered and fragmentary, that without knowledge of the canon I could not reproduce even approximately the events. It didn't matter, though. I waved my thoughts away, rubbed my front hooves and lit my horn again. Now let's make it beautiful! ... “Wo-o-ow!..” “So cool!” “Yeah...” I reluctantly opened my eyes, feeling my horn burn, my head aching, and my neck is doing the same. Damn, it feels like my head is in the shoulders now... I was careful to twist it back and forth and crunch my vertebrae. And I finally looked at the result of my efforts, which has already impressed a trio of onlookers, who had apparently come up somewhere in the process. A mistake, damn it: what if something had gone wrong? Good thing they had enough brains to not come closer... With a disapproving hissing sound, I focused my attention on the transformed scooter. In my opinion, black, purple and gold suited it better than the rather dull yellow and blue of “Wonderbolts”, whose lightning with two "notches" was replaced on the board by the predatory and slightly frightening profile of a grinning pony skull with wings. The skull, in contrast to the grotesquely cartoonish “Shadowbolts” emblem, was a bit too... realistic. Naturally bone-colored, with cracks and crevices, a wing behind it covered in feathers, but it was subtly sinister and pointed. To top it off, a turquoise light burned dimly in an empty eye socket, as if the skull was looking back... Winking at the skull with a chuckle, I looked up at the approaching crusaders. “Hi!” “Greetings, Nightmare...” “G’day...” “Howdy-howdy.” I smiled in answer and hugged Sweetie a bit - she has put her leg around my neck and was the first one to reach me. Scoot and Apple Bloom, both are a bit embarrassed, slowed a bit. “Oh, I’m so happy that you're back! How long have you been here? How long are you going to be here? Oh, I guess you're...” “Surprise-surprise!” I hugged the unicorn to myself a bit tougher, ending the word flow. “I’ll be here tomorrow, and maybe will fly back in the evening.” “Sad...” A sad sigh was put into my neck. “I missed you so much!..” “Ah, come on.” I ruffled the pink and purple multicolored mane. “You’ll be sick of me for sure. Scoot, why are you standing there like a bystander?” I unfolded a wing invitingly. “I’m... E-e... Within a safe distance.” She gauged the gesture. “And that doesn't mean, that I’m not happy to see you at all, don't you look at me like that!” “Scootaloo!” Sweetie became indignant, even stepping back from me. “That’s right.” I supported her protest. “You of course are happy, but not happy enough.” I shook head with sorrow. “But it’s okay, now you will.” Scoot strained, being ready to dodge hugs. “Here, for you.” I took the somewhat forgotten scooter and placed it in front of the pegasus. I smirked back at the glassy stare, hiding the emotion behind the tip of my wing. Ka-boom, that’s a hit!.. “I’m... Ehm... I’m not!” Unfreezing, the mare stepped back from present, her thoughts starting to run across her mind. “I can't!.. It’s!.. It costs like!..” “Not as expensive as money.” “But... Nightmare...” Scoot mumbled pitifully, stepping back once again. “And I owe you already... And, this...” Tears started to gleam in the purple eyes. She wants it - she really does, but doesn't allow herself... “Sco-ot.” I looked at the friend with a bit of a reproach. “I’m not asking if you can accept it or not. I’m just stating the fact - it's yours. Enjoy! Just don't ride that much to not repeat that event...” “But...” She stepped uncertainly from foot to foot. She looked at the scooter. At me. The next second the orange meteor crashed into me, clutching my neck almost to the point of crunching. “Sc-h-oot!..” “Thanksthanksthanksthanks!” The pegasus bounced away from me, red to the tips of her ears, and squeaked almost ultrasonically. “Kh... You're welcome.” I rubbed my neck. She's got quite a grip... Scootaloo glowed with joy and did not pay attention to my answer. She was already excitedly rushing around the gift, looking at it this way and that under the joyful glances and smiles of her friends. Including me, of course. “Shock absorbers?!.. Wheels!.. And this?.. “Dear Scootaloo... ...Faster, higher, stronger... ...Dream... ...Nightmare Moon.” This is!.. You!.. Wow!.. And how cool you've repainted it in “Shadowbolts” coloring! O, and theirs skull looks like as if looking!.. Wow!..” “Nice?” I asked, smiling joyfully, when the exclamations have died out a bit. “Awesome!” Capacious answered followed. “I haven't seen even close to this in our shop! It’s... O-oh!” Scoot jumped, freezing in the air for a few seconds with the help of small wings. “Is it... Is it really for me?” She looked away blushingly, sharply melting into background. “Of course. Who else?” “Well yeah, I guess.” The pegasus forced a snicker, fluffing her mane on the nape reluctantly. “But... No, I can't just take it, and!..” She exhaled. “You can. Take it.” I leaned back against the grass, watching my interlocutor from under relaxed, half-closed eyelids. Fluttershy double ganger, literally... “This is why it's a gift. Am I wrong?” “This is not the kind of gifts you can refuse, Scoot.” Bloomie noted rationally, examining the scooter. “Your old one, even when in a whole skin, doesn't stand a chance, no offense.” “I know!” The pegasus sighed. “But... I can't like that! It’s... I'd have to store up money for a year to buy this! Or even tow! And here!..” Walking back and forth, she looked at me narrowly. “Nightmare, thank you a bunch! A very big bunch! But... Let’s agree on me, returning your money in a year! Or even a part of it! Or, I don't know...” “You're not used to take gifts.” I sighed. Yea-ah, little one, you've thrown a wrench into my mood... Damn it! I should have told to get something less fancy... “Do you want to offend me?” “Of course I don't!” She even jumped, looking at me with fright. “She doesn't!” “Nightmare, Scootaloo would never!..” The others supported her like a chorus. “I don't, really! But just take it and drive away, as it should be...” Scootaloo looked down at her feet with a sigh, turning a determined gaze to me. “I just can't. Sorry.” Yeah, dilemma... And what should I do with her? I chewed my lip thoughtfully. Looked at the apple trees, at the scooter, at Bloom, at Sweetie... Hm... “So, you want to repay and I won't persuade you?” I asked, squinting. “Y-yes...” The pegasus replied carefully, straining. It’s right time to fear, he-he-he... “Then I’ll sound my desire and you're going to comply it. Refusal is not accepted!” I made a stern expression on my face, but gave Scoot a questioning look. “Fen without dresses!” She looked askew at Sweetie. “Agree.” Ha!.. “Without dresses - okay.” I smirked ambitiously, making the pegasus shiver. “So-o...” I paused: one last chance to refuse, little one! Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle leaned forward and froze suspiciously, waiting for the denouement. “From now on and forever, you will let me snuggle, stroke, and cuddle you!” I proclaimed, with a commanding gesture pointing the tip of my hoof at Scoot, who has fatally missed with the dresses. “Where, when, and as much as I want! And don't run away or break out!” “No...” Scootaloo swallowed, stepping back. “Yes, little pony! Now you belong to me!!!” Not being to stand it, I started to laugh evilly. It wasn't so atmospheric because of me lying down. Damn it. “It's unfair!” “Fair!” “Fair!” “Fair!” You had the chance to refuse.” I chuckled and looked back at the two crusaders, who sided with me. “You!.. You!..” The pegasus gasped indignantly, looking at her friends betraying her. “You’ll like it.” Sweetie smiled blushingly. “No!” “Let’s check it now.” I smiled evilly. “Come over here.” Scoot looked around helplessly, as if looking for support. She held her gaze on the scooter, sighed heartbreakingly, and wandered slowly and sadly towards me. “You're a villain!” She grumbled, sitting down next to me. “Very villain.” I nodded approvingly, lowering a wing onto her crown. The pegasus twitched to dodge as usual, but with a titanic effort, she held herself in place. Only her ears flushed slightly at the tips. “Merciless...” My wing slid over the top of tense Scoot, ruffling her mane. “And heartless.” I will try not to overdo it, of course... I hugged the terribly-terribly unhappy pony with my wing with delight under the dull chuckles of her friends, which made her sulk. I will try, because it will not be easy for me, yes... “What about me?” My front leg was insistently touched on the other side. I silently spread my left wing as well, letting Sweetie snuggle against my side with pleasure. There was a heartbreaking sigh from under my right wing. “Don't be sad, Scootie.” I hugged the mare tighter, who squeaked indignantly. “It’s just when you start. Then you’ll get used to it and won't be able to live without it.” “Thanks!” She grumbled. “What is so interesting in it?!” “Just pleasant.” I shook my head, chuckling. So co-o-ol... “Hey, Nightmare Moon... Can I as well?” The earthpony, who was left alone, could not stand it, and was immediately terribly embarrassed by her request. “Yea.” I wasted no time, so I picked her up with my telekinesis and put her in front of me, hugging her with forelegs. Cool, damn it! There was enough to hug everyone! I ruffled the crimson mane and sniffed upon bumping into a bow. It suits her well... But it didn't to Sweetie. What about Scoot?.. Hm. Hm! “It’s cool with you! But...” After a few more minutes, I hugged the crusaders tightly for the last time. I folded my wings, and stood up, causing two disappointed sighs and one relieved sigh. “Scootie, don't be mad. Sweetie, don't sigh so heavily, it’s not the last time, tea. Bloomie... Nice bow.” I commented on the trio, leisurely lining up in front of me. “Thanks.” Earthpony lowered her eyes, blushingly digging earth with a hoof. “I wish Scootaloo had one.” I smiled ambitiously at the pegasus. “Hey!!!” She, who has just been gently hugging the wheel of her brand-new scooter, bounced away from me as if a steam locomotive was coming at her. “Hugs were so far, so good, but this!.. No! I won't have it on me until you do! E-e... Oops.” I and Sweetie looked at each other. My cheeks started to warm up treacherously. Damn it! And it seems, that the ears did it as well... “Nightmare, don't you say...” The orange pony mumbled awkwardly, looking at Sweetie and then at me. “It can't be...” Well, how do I put it... ... “Oh, home! Sweetie, I’m back!” Rarity's melodious voice, with its ever-present slight mannerisms and a hint of fatigue, rang out from the hallway with a joyful chime. I and the filly - who, thankfully, had been left with the key - looked at each other, interrupted in mid-sentence. We threw our spoons and food away, we raced from our seats. Rar!.. “Rarity-y-y!!! Hihihihihihi!” Sweetie ran around the corner. I, in my turn, slowed down, letting her forward - it could have been wrong to not do so... “Sweetie, dear!.. Oh, don't hug me, I’m dirty monstrously! Mountains! Tent! And no shower for kilometers around during all this time!..” “Only dragons and threats.” “Nightmare?!.. Oh, Celestia, I haven't awaited your visit at all! I’m very happy to see you, but I’m!.. I!.. Approaching silently, I grabbed the wailing unicorn with magic. I pulled her to me and pressed her against me with a front leg and both wings, making her wordless mid-word. Rarity. Alive. As a whole. Near. “I almost turned gray when I knew you're out for that dragon.” The white ear, surrounded by so unusually unkempt strands, twitched at my whisper. “Don't risk so much, ay?.. I just don't know... I don't ha... I don't have anyone else...” I covered my eyes and cocked my head to keep from bursting into tears. Finally, the tension, that has been buzzing around inside me all day, was releasing. “W... What about Pinkie? About others?” “Everything is fine, Nighty.” Everything is fine... “Don't cry, please!” Am I the one crying? I sniffed my nose, squeezing the mare even harder. I'm not crying at all! Well, maybe... a little...
48. Gray WorldAuthor's Note "As many times as I reread this chapter, I couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong with it. I still don't know what it is. I don't know what I don't like! Just a feeling that the chapter should be about 20% cooler - that's all)" Original author's note. 48. Gray World The sleeping chamber of the palace's guest quarters greeted my next and, this time, final awakening with the traditional uncomfortable chill and the echoing, unfriendly silence, that thickened beneath the high ceilings. It was still dark, but I didn't want to sleep anymore - apparently, it was morning. I didn't want to get up. I sighed and wrapped myself tightly in the blanket and tucked the pillow under my head. It was like I hoped it would protect me from the uncomfortable walls around me and delay the arrival of a difficult and joyless day. Monday is a hard day, even if it is Thursday... And yesterday was Tuesday. I hummed into my pillow. Of course, the names of the days were different here. But in my head they somehow automatically shifted to somewhat more familiar ones, of which, due to the local six-day weeks, Wednesday fell out. I don't know why this was so... So the vacation was over. The next thing is studying at the palace again, Luna, dripping on my brain, and joyless, lonely moments of respite. Man, I’m looking forward to learning all the stuff I need asap to get this fucking non material shit, that clung to Tia, and... I don't know what's next. I'd go to Rarity's, then settle down in Ponyville somewhere and open a private nightmare-protection practice or something, if that's how it works... In the meantime, I'd have to sit tight and study. “More like lay tight.” I laughed shortly into the pillow. Who knows - maybe I’d get another free day to go back to Ponyville and see my friends. Abyss, I didn't even realize how much the separation has actually depressed me. One week, that is nothing! And then - tears without end for half an hour, hugging Rarity, sitting on the floor in the hallway. And such an incredibly light and joyful feeling in my soul: “I wasn't left behind, I have someone, I’m not lonely!” Of course, Rar made me nervous, too - the dragon slayer, damn her... It's good that everyone is alive and in one piece, as they should be in canon. But where's the canon and where am I? Then the unicorn spit on all the orders - unthinkable! - and announced PTO, and we had a great time with her and Pinkie the whole next day. The spa - finally it is not scary to look at yourself in the mirror, then - a picnic, which also gathered Applejack, Fluttershy and crusaders, then just had fun in "Carousel", all together decorated with bows and trying on one bow or another in front of a huge mirror on rich crimson Scootaloo... Oh, and, of course, the gifts, which cost so much that I left more than half of the money I've earned from Rarity on the table for Luna... And hell with ‘em! It was worth it. The scooter for Scootaloo was a success. Even Dash caught a moment of my girlfriends' brief absence the next day and came over to express her indignation. She was also going to give the small one a scooter, she was looking for it - and then I showed up! I chuckled. Anyway, after giving me one last gloomy stare and saying goodbye with the phrase: "You're nothing but trouble!" Rainbow went off to be sad and look for something else to gift. The other gifts were also successful. Pinkie was happy to rush out to use the new gadget, providing everyone with milkshakes - I couldn't get myself away from them. I've had a brief thought, that it was more of a gift for myself than for Pinkie. Like buying a radio-controlled helicopter for the birthday of a two-year-old son. Rar was thrilled - I don't know, and I didn't understand much of her rambling praise, but it seemed like the fabrics were really epic. Considering that they're way above the price of everything else put together, I'm not even surprised. Sweetie was more composed, but I could see that the extensive illustrated book on the history of fashion, including hairstyles, interested her. All in all - I didn't miss it, it seemed. I didn't buy something for Flutty - she hasn't gotten over her previous gifts yet, and I guess I couldn't have given her anything else. So, I'll listen to the shy little squeak next time, heh. Long story short - my soul had a great rest. Rar, though, damn her, did make it hard when we were alone in the evening just before I left, bringing up a subject on which she and I had once... Oh, who am I lying to - on which I had once already gotten mad at her and slammed the door: Luna. Someone's itching, damn it. “And you are getting alo-ong, and she do-oesn't hurt you, and you don't do-o it, give her a cha-ance”.. It was a hard time, restraining myself from saying a few kind words to the unicorn. She, of course, was also trying not to hurt my feelings too much, and agreed to drop the subject in exchange for me reading Luna's letters, which I had once not had the heart to just burn without reading... What the hell did she need that for? I'll try, since Rar asked me to. And Pinkie mentioned them once, too, I think. But I doubt I'll see anything there that I haven't seen in a week of personal communication: fake words, fake requests, and fake promises. Although... Luna is doing everything she promised, so far, and she's even trying to be as punctual as possible with her appointments... I stood up and pushed the pillow, which went to the floor with a soft bang instead of holding on to the edge. Damn it! Goddammit! And if Luna does it, it's to her advantage! No more! I shoved the blanket off me irritably and rolled onto my side. I have to get the hell up! And this waste paper - my glance fell on the bedside table with my usual bags - I'll read it sometime later! If I don't forget and if I don't mind! The next moment, as if to confirm my intention, the shadows of the silvery moonlight that dimly illuminated the bedroom stretched onward and soon disappeared into the thickening darkness - which the rapidly lightening sky began to cover. No more than a minute has passed since the action has begun. The room was already flooded with bright sunlight, making me squint my eyes from its radiance. “I’ll never get used to it.” I mumbled under my breath and dragged my still sleepy body to the edge of the bed with a sigh. Now it’s really time to get up... ... “Greetings once again, Nightmare.” I reluctantly looked up from the book. Nothing too exciting - just study material. But even that was better than Luna and communicating with her. What again?.. Blue, who has entered the library, looked thoughtful. She's busy with something again, in her repertoire. I hid the fleeting chuckle with an answering nod of my head. “Celestia is back.” The blue horse came to my table and, slowing, settled down across me. “So this is why you're radiating happiness. What, you didn't have time to prepare a conspiracy for her arrival?” I chuckled grimly and tried to continue reading, but already on the first line I realized that nothing would happen. Okay, let’s just pretend then... “Nightmare, please!..” Sighing, Luna looked back sorrowfully. “I love my sister and would never!.. However, you already know this, and you don't even believe your own words.” She waved away. “We’ll look.” I said in an unflattering but somewhat neutral tone. “What do you need?” “Before your arrival...” Luna started to speak shyly, slowing. “Sister promised to invite you here, she did, but... didn't have the courage? I don't know. That evening we happened to meet in the park, and I reminded her of her promise. She answered that she did not vant that, and... I snapped at her, insulting her, saying that I did not vanr to see here nere me any māra, and... “ Luna started to droop and sighed. She made an indefinite gesture, apparently not knowing how to continue. Well, blue, I didn't doubt you... “Speak simpler." Feeling the pause building up again, I "kicked" Moon for switching to "high-sounding dialect”. “Sorry.” She tried to smile at my reproach It wasn't eloquent. “Well, you've brought me here against Tia’s fur.” I stated, trying to revive the talk and the pony, which again got lost with her thoughts in the mind. No, I thought so, in fact, although, of course, I thought that they had some kind of consensus... But what kind of details will emerge now about what this horse has managed to do - now it's time to clean up and probably with my participation... “Yes, she was dead set against it." She stared down at the table. “And I didn't even have time to apologize before she left... because of me. Today, when I was informed of her return, I met her and finally apologized. She agreed to turn the page, but... I don't think I could convince her about you. If you'd wanted to hurt me seriously, not like this, you'd have eliminated me long ago..”. “Something hints me, that if a battle occurs - it's you who will have me eliminated.” I grumbled under my breath. You poor, powerless little one... At our magic classes together, all I can do is envy and wish I could do it myself someday! For blue, this magic is like breathing! As if she was pushing buttons with skills! Yes, I'm not worse or weaker overall, but it’s thirty seconds against three! “I have already let you down wherever I could have to, Nightmare. I’m not going to hurt you again!” Luna stared with a grim reproach, hearing me saying. “But our point is that even that didn't seem convincing to Tia. She nodded, took note, but... didn't show in any way how she was going to react. I'm afraid that since she is hiding these thoughts even from me, they are far from joyful. I don't know what to do." The blue one sighed longly, drooping for a moment. “Work, what else.” I mumbled. “How does it go?.. Do the right thing and let the fate reciprocate.” “Wise words.” The alicorn tilted her head awry and thoughtfully. “My duty is to teach you, and I’ll go until the end. I just hope I’ll have enough wisdom to escape new quarrels...” She sighed again. “Don't you hope. You always think after doing.” I chuckled head-on. “Unless you whine later, as usual, when things get really bad.” “Sorry.” The blue one bit her lip for a moment. “I’m trying to redeem myself!” “I see.” I commented plainly, looking at her. “Something more or you’ll let me finish reading?” Princess pressed her ears back and looked at me nervously, apparently hesitant to ask. She got up reluctantly, took a few steps towards the exit, froze, and turned around... “Nightmare...” “What again?” "Can we... Talk today?” “What is there to talk with you about, blue one?” I glanced disgustedly and opened the book, which has been closed during the conversation. “About... Trip of... Yours, about friends... I... Oh, forget about it.” The annoying mare drooped under my gaze, and, with a sigh, she hurriedly clattered her hooves towards the door. Finally. Following wind, good luck. Tell her about friends, yeah... I made a hissing sound and turned to the book, glancing thoughtlessly through the lines. About friends... ... The paper here is surprisingly good quality. It's a little thick, but it's decent enough... My eyes spent a long curve of the paper airplane on their own. Arrow-shaped silhouette bumped his nose on the bedside table with a sad paper knock and fell to the carpet with an offended rustle. He almost made a full circle and flew back... At home, when I made such things, there was never enough room for it: too quickly it bumped into the wall. And given this particular model's pathological tendency to go into a turn almost immediately after launch... I picked up the plane, thoughtlessly examining the fancy coloring, that the lines of text on the sheet it was made of have given it. I spread it out, unfolded it, and smoothed out the crossed out fold lines on the sheet. Damn it, blue one! I can see from a mile away, that you wrote it with Cadence, almost from dictation! So why... I folded the letter back into the airplane with a sort of irritation, and launched it away from me with a sharp impulse. The plane went uphill, hovered at the top point, turned its nose to the ground sharply and then came out into a smooth planning with a right turn. The barely audible rustling of paper on the carpet. The airplane stopped half a meter away from me, sadly spreading its wings and collapsing on its left side. It’s the God damn same! I don't really need it, but it didn't matter how many times I put it out of my head, it just keeps coming back and coming back! Perhaps the most frustrating part was that I couldn't figure out what it was that got me so caught up in it. Luna's letters were... not at all what I'd expected when I'd shaken them out on the table with irritated skepticism. I don't really know what it was that I was expecting... Apologies, pleas, flattery, hypocrisy, a hidden prideful dislike - I don't know. Something like that, I guess? But certainly not a simple description of life in the palace, complaining about the changing laws and delighting in the modern technology I discovered as a result... In the last letter Luna was glad that I have made friends and gently asked for advice on how to do it right. For some reason it was... strangely clingy. It was clearly Cadence's idea, which Blue herself would never have thought of, and the first letter, which ended in flames, was a good example of that. I believe she wrote it herself, but here... “Cadence, damn it...” I mumbled, looking into the space with sad thoughtfulness. “Why do you need it?..” And this loving one managed to dictate something to Luna, something, that has somehow elusively impressed me. Some kind of... understanding, or something. A feeling, that I have peeked behind the impenetrable facade and seen what was behind it. And hidden there was... an ordinary mare, a little scared, insecure and lonely, looking for understanding and some kind of warmth in her soul... “Understanding!..” I snorted irritably, cringing, and, picking up the airplane that was lying sadly on the carpet, stared at it irritably. I glared at it, suppressed the urge to tear it up, instead just unfolding it back into a piece of paper, and pressed it onto the thin stack of others on the table. “This is why you were so eager to understand Nightmare, you lover of understanding, Abyss swallow you!” “It already did.” I, shivering, turned around to the door. Damn it! How she?!.. When?!.. How did she hear?! “I wasn't eager. I was not and did not understand.” At the last moment, just before the world went black around me, I had time to think about whether I was making a mistake!” Luna stood at the door, staring at the floor, and quietly, on the edge of hearing, she cried words out in a dry, cracked voice. “And I made a mistake, Nightmare. I killed my daughter.” Damn it!.. I just said “Nightmare”, and now she!.. Thoughts flitted frantically in all directions like cockroaches when the kitchen lights turn on. Luna, in the fallen silence, took a few uncertain steps on trembling legs towards me, stumbled on a flat spot, and sat where she was with a sigh. “You're almost like she, like Nightmare. But I feel, that you're... Different. Nightmare Moon, but... But not the one I had been sharing the body with.” “I just changed over the summer.” I mumbled, frantically piecing my thoughts together and feeling my heart trying to burst out of the cage of my ribs. “By my action, I destroyed the very identity of the one who had every reason to call me mother.” Luna's dry and indifferent voice was almost frightening - so alien it seemed. “The Elements of Harmony could no longer return everything to the way it was.” It is how it is. “Just don't you claim your rights on me.” I replied nervously. How to react, damn it? What to do?” “I won't dare to, Nightmare.” Luna lifted her gaze at me for the first time since the beginning of the conversation. Lifeless and hopeless gaze, which made me feel uncomfortable. “But I will do my best to at least partially make up for my infinite guilt. To you. And to Nightmare, that was before.” “Why do you think I need this? Why do you think I need something from you at all?” I walked in front of the depressed alicorn with mild irritation, calming down a bit and stopping my vibrations. Scared me, damn it... “What did you even forget here?” “It doesn't mean I must leave my attempts to.” Slowing, Luna stepped closer to me and looked in my eyes defiantly. “And I bothered you to make sure everything is alright. Previously, you were always on time for flight lessons...” “Couldn't you say that?!” I glanced at the clock with a panicked look and almost jumped, simultaneously feeling relieved, that the annoying and unpleasant conversation seemed to have come to an end. “Fifteen minutes already!.. Grim Sky will kill us!” “What you?..” The blue one got up, throwing a nervous look at me. “He’s quarrelsome, but a good pony! He would never!..” Waving away on the run, I stepped into the corridor galloping. P-ponies!.. ... “You're late for nineteen minutes.” “Her Highness Princess Luna had an urgent matter of national importance for me." I commented with a deliberate slight phlegmatic laziness in my voice, on the displeasure of the cosplaying graying, already sullen pegasus, which was cosplaying sergeant, and was strolling in front of the formation. Yeah, come on, lecture me, fucking hell... Damn, it's so comfortable to be an alicorn. Grim sulked, indignant, but cannot resist it. “I propose to not lose more time and begin.” “Lady Nightmare, looking at you, I always have the urge to reproach you for not respecting your elders for some reason, no matter how hundreds of years old you technically are." Muttered the "sergeant" under his breath, stopping and raising his eyes to grief for a moment. Okay, relict of a museum, let’s pretend I didn't hear that. Otherwise we'll bicker for ten minutes again, under the disappointed and disgruntled sniffling of Luna, and we've already lost so much time... “Fine...” Grim Sky came closer and looked up from under his bushy gray eyebrows and gave me a slightly disgruntled and seemingly annoyed look. “All right, ladies, spread out three meters so you don't get in each other's way! Warm up! Neck!..” As I stepped away from Luna, I was instantly immersed in myself, automatically performing the familiar learned movements. In fact, I learned a lot of this kind of workout on my own back in Ponyville, when I was learning to fly. This one was a little more complicated and complex, involving more areas and muscles, but differed little in the basics. Yeah... "Daughter", what an idea... Although, there's probably something in it... After all, Nightmare originally appeared and got some kind of identity thanks to Luna... Hm... However, even if so, it is not for her to lick her lips in anticipation of such a high title as the title of my mother! She exists, and she is not Luna!.. ...And she buried her son a few months ago already. Shit... “Nightmare, are you sleeping?..” I shook my head and continued the faded and halted movement. Even so - not Luna's claim to it, whoever she thinks she is, or even partly what she actually is! That’s all! For a while I just kept warming up, trying to get rid of the jerky movements on emotion. All problems are from Luna. I threw a quick glance in the direction of the concentrated panting alicorn. I should have killed her when I had the chance... Yeah, and then everything would be going so fast now that my current problems would seem like an unattainable dream - if I were still alive. Chucking sadly, I turned away, preferring to concentrate on my movements. “E-e-end!” The "sergeant" stomped on his front leg, himself moving along with us, but showing absolutely no signs of any exertion at all in the process. What a fucker. I’m jealous. “So the tasks for today will be... Princess Luna, judging by your breathing, you haven't paid enough attention to physical fitness again this week!” The blue one laid back her ears and lowered her gaze. “Take tha-at cloud and take our usual route with it. I expect to count at least fifteen laps by the end of class. You need to pay attention to endurance!” Luna sighed helplessly and very-very quiet. I understand you, blue one... Have fun, what can I say. The cloud may be relatively light, but it's sailing, especially when pushed against the wind... Grim, judging by the movement of his ear, also heard the sigh of Luna, but for some reason decided not to show it, turning to me instead. “Lady Nightmare... Take off and landing. Especially landing! Especially with speed! How many times do I have to tell you that hard ground is not a warm puddle in which you can plunge and roll around, blowing bubbles! And don't flash your eyes: I don't want your broken legs! Okay, off you go!” Fucker. Sometimes I wish I had never mentioned my flight training to him. “Puddle”! I cringed, realizing, that there was really nothing to argue with. The landing was indeed more than mediocre and always ended with my legs beaten to one degree or another. I exhaled, took a short run and flapped my wings. Up to that roof, there's a turn, come back, land. Repeat until this old stump was sick of the sarcastic comments about "smacks" and "spits.” But I must give him credit for always asking afterwards if anything is broken... Just let's go. ... I want night. To fall asleep and all this thing... Well, didn't end, but moved somewhere for the future. I rinsed after my workout and ran outside: the walls of the palace were particularly uncomfortable today. I wandered through the unsettled garden of the night wing. I wandered now through the unsettled garden of the Night Wing. There were yellowed plants from recent transplants. They were still empty spaces where fresh ones had been planted from scratch, which even with local magic would take a couple of months to appear. It looked... neglected, and it was nowhere near comparable to Tia's garden. The garden looked like the mood, in general... Luna, let her be torn and glued to pieces, was never out of my mind. First her letters, and then her words, about her daughter... I found myself fiercely perplexed, and... at moments I felt a little sympathy for her?.. “Gibberish!” The hoof of her foreleg plunged fiercely into the path, blasting the dense earth. I couldn't sympathize with her after... after everything! Why did it bother me at all? The letters, her words? I don't care! I snorted irritably, and, driving my hooves into the ground, I moved forward along the path. “Greetings, Nightmare...” Fucking!.. Speak of the shit and it would appear!.. “Thank you.” “For what?..” I asked with a loss, stumbling and freezing reflexively. Luna's unexpected words caught me by surprise. “For listening to me today. I know you don't like talking to me and... yet you didn't send me away. Thank you. And I’m happy to have you, Nightmare.” I turned around, staring blankly at the blue one wrinkling awkwardly a few meters away from me. What she?.. What she about?.. I’m!.. “What are you up to, Luna? What you?..” I made an undefinable gesture, trying to find the words. “There is no intent, Nightmare. It's just... Who else could I tell the dark thoughts you've heard now? Only... Oh, I'm sorry." She laid back her ears shamefully. “You were the only one I could tell all this to. And I'm grateful that you listened.” “You could've done this to Tia.” I mumbled, noting irritably, that the original hatred has dispersed insensibly somehow, and I allowed myself to be dragged into the conversation. “I... I didn't have the heart.” Luna lowered her gaze. “It’s... Not to her. Not now. I don't know. But I’m happy, that you listened to me. Thank you again.” “Only if I have been happy about this...” “Sorry...” “Leave, Luna. Just leave.” I walked away from her, turning around. I... I can't already. I don't know. I felt bitter and uncomfortable in my soul. “Fine.” To my dislike, without a hint of disappointment, she responded. “I await your arrival today, as agreed!” The footsteps sounded quietly behind me, unsure of their departure. Who are you to me, blue scarecrow? Why I hate you and... And feeling my hatred slowly, but surely fading at the same time? And what should I do with you at all? As a nice guy used to say: “It's so easy to see the galaxy in black and white, but grey? I don't know what to do with grey.” I don't know either. And when did the world ever become gray is the question?.. Damn it.
49. Confirmation of Truth“Don't worry, you’ll make it!” Luna smiled encouragingly, suppressing with a titanic effort the urge to touch the teeth-clenching black alicorn beside her, to somehow support her, to share her reassurance. No, she shouldn't. Nightmare would either take offense at that, or get more angry than ever... “What am I doing wrong this time?!” Sighing through teeth, she turned her head towards the Princess of the Night with an unblinking look in her turquoise eyes, which seemed to glow a little brighter than usual because of the emotions, that were raging inside. “You can do it, Nightmare.” Luna once again kept herself from touching, limiting herself to another reassuring smile. “Let me remind you, that what you've achieved had been done by me in four months back in my day. Didn't make it today - will tomorrow, you just need more practice. Don't worry.” “I’m “not worrying” for almost a week already.” The Mare in the Moon cringed and, sniffing irritably, rolled over the edge of the bed, standing next to her. “Maybe you’ll say something about business, not this comforting nonsense?” “I’m afraid I won't, Nightmare.” Luna shook her head sadly, sitting on the bed. “It’s like... Learning magic. You have to feel it. You can give some approximate recommendations, that will help some and not others, but...” “If it turns out that all this time you did not teach me the magic of dreams, but just laughing, forcing me to do all sorts of incomprehensible stuff for nothing - I'll bite you to death." The interlocutor promised gloomily, looking into space. “How?!.. I!..” The Princess of the Night gasped for air, not knowing how to respond to such a wild accusation... And such a terrible promise. “D-don't, please, I...” The voice trembled treacherously. How she?.. She’s a pony!.. How she?.. “Don't give me a reason to.” She moved her wing phlegmatically, not even noticing the Princess’ state. “Okay, I’ll go.” Shaking her head in a peculiar farewell, Nightmare Moon moved resolutely toward the exit. Quietly the door closed, and Luna sighed wearily and sank back onto the bed. How could Nightmare threaten something like that? Griffons band had done this horror a few times - ate... ponies! - and she, Luna, even executed some of them personally for this, but... Didn't Nightmare learn from these soul-chilling memories? And even if she did - she's not a griffon! How can she put on the face of a... predator? She's a pony, and she!.. And she has fangs, that many predators would envy. Luna shivered chilly and tried to wrap her wings around herself. No, this is not an argument. Thestrals have fangs, too, and they even eat fish. In principle, technically, they could eat meat, too. But Princess, in transforming the curse, did everything she could to instill in the newborn race an aversion to it and even to the very idea of it. Honestly, Luna wasn't savvy enough in the science of living things, biology as they now call it, to fully understand exactly what she did and how she did it then. Given Nightmare's equally inexplicable origins in the aftermath, it's not unreasonable to think that magic is simply capable of granting quite powerful wishes... Alicorn sighed sorrowfully and curled up, as if trying to hide from the world around her. But... Could Nightmare really have that kind of desire, to eat someone?.. She's not a thestral, so she may not be disgusted by this... monstrous thought?.. No! First of all, she's a pony, and a pony would never do that, even if she... had the opportunity. “It's so hard with you sometimes.” The Princess of the Night mumbled under her breath, sighing and straightening on the bed. Nightmare Moon hardly meant it. Yes, it was a threat, but it must have been figurative, not literal. In her style... Where did she get all that from? Threats, all those creepy and macabre jokes, fleeting and... as if habitual, statements that someone would kill someone, and for the perfect little thing, as with their flight instructor then - and on several other occasions before, threats, including such - as this one sounded, chilling and monstrous, because how could a pony do... such a thing?! “Sorry, Nighty...” Luna whispered with her lips only, closing eyes. “Instead of teaching you what’s right, I...” Alicorn froze and clenched her teeth in an attempt to hold back her tears. She stared blankly at the ceiling for some time before deciding to curl up and burst into tears under the protective covering of her wing. The day was absolutely morally exhausting... *** “... I tell you how much I love you and how worried I am about you, and you seem to be somewhere deep inside yourself.” Her sister's sullen and slightly judgmental voice snapped Luna out of her thoughts, causing her to blink perplexedly and bring the bowl of tea, which was already visibly cold, to her mouth. “As if you're not yourself, Lu. Is everything alright?” With a sigh, putting aside the piece of cake she had already picked up, the Princess of the Sun anxiously looked into her sister's eyes. “Oh, I... Sorry, please!” She confessed. “Just... Just yesterday's day was a tough one.” Celestia frowned faintly at the evasive response of her much-anticipated guest. “What happened, my moonbeam?” “It's not worth the trouble, really!” Luna, in a nervous haste, fastened to assure her and, averting her gaze, she bit her lip. She knew, that such an answer would not calm her sister down at all, but would only make things worse. “Just not a very pleasant conversation.” “With Nightmare.” Celestia rather stated than asked, becoming somehow harsh with her face. “With Nightmare.” Digging the pillow under her how, Luna decided to not deny. “And what unpleasant has she said to you?” Tia sipped her tea casually, but the cozy tea room for two felt like it was a few degrees colder all at once. “Nothing especially unpleasant and unexpected.” The Princess of the Night shook her head, cringing reflexively at the chilling and piercing gaze of the sister. Throughout the conversation, she felt as if she were wandering down a dark corridor, filled with traps. “What I really care about is my own words...” “Would you tell it?” “I... Don't know. No?” The younger alicorn hesitated, hiding gaze. “Not now. Sorry, Tia” Telling about all her fears and guesses, about what Nightmare has said about their... Their kinship? The Princess of the Night felt, that even if she had the desire, she wouldn't have the courage to say even a word to her sister. “Fine, my little star. But if you want to - I’ll be always ready to hear you out and support with everything I can.” Luna forced a smile and hurried to her bowl of tea, which was now completely cold. The warm understanding smile of her sister... and the ice frozen in her not at all understanding gaze were imprinted in her memory. ... “Good day, Your Highness. May I have a moment of your time?” Luna, completely lost in her own thoughts, shuddered, stopped and glanced at the snow-white, statuesque unicorn, who has approached. Blueblood looked perfect, as if he were preparing for a large official reception: shiny varnished hooves, fur styled hair to hair, mane in the latest fashion, perfectly fitted camisole, a subtle scent of perfume... Only the sullen look of reddened eyes, under which the blue-rimmed eyelids were not hidden from an alicorn's sharp eyesight even by a layer of powder, was out of place. The protocol polite smile seemed only to reinforce this impression. The Princess of the Night could hardly suppress the desire to get rid of the Prince and leave as soon as possible: her head, even without him, was already occupied with thoughts one gloomier than another after the meeting with the sister... “Greetings, Your Grace. Of course, how can I help you?” Giving in under the pressure of conscience, she bowed before the stallion. After all, she let even Blueblood down, even though unwittingly... And she still hasn't explained herself to the Prince, who has clearly fallen in spirit since her fateful visit to the museum and, as they say, has even been drunk several times since... By a fleeting stupor of her interlocutor, it seemed to Luna, that he has not really hoped for a positive answer, and now he seemed to be a bit confused. “I... Your Highness, wouldn't it be tactless to ask you about... About a conversation?” He lowered his voice and finally spoke out, glancing discontentedly at the pair of maids, who were passing by and trying to sneak a peek at Princess Luna. “By no means, Your Grace.” She smiled ceremonially, sighing in thought. “I think I may be able to make time for your request this evening, after sunset. I will tell my warriors to let you into the night wing of the palace without delay.” “Good." The unicorn nodded curtly. "Thank you very much for your time, Your Highness. With your permission?” “Of course, you can go, Your Grace. I was happy to meet you, Prince Blueblood.” After bowing ceremoniously, the stallion finally left, allowing Luna to frown and exhale. She felt, that she really had no idea what to talk about with the distraught unicorn in despair. And he didn't seem to understand it very well either, asking, as it seems, to see her only to try to somehow end the once interrupted conversation in the garden. Perhaps it would have been wiser to refuse him altogether, but... It didn't seem right. And maybe she could find some words of comfort for a disappointed pony, who lost faith in his ideal? Especially now, where no one would interrupt them... Luna lost her step as she realized, that she has been trying to reconcile with her sister for days, but has not yet lifted the ban on visiting the night wing of the palace, that she had spoken of in the heat of the moment. “Damn it...” A creepy curse, often heard lately, involuntarily erupted from her mouth, causing her to bite her tongue. She apologized hastily to several ponies, some of whom even froze in surprise and turned their ears, and continue on her way. ... “...here - congratulations and greetings, to pay your respects, here - all sorts of questions and requests, and here - with various offers and invitations.” The thestral, who pointed in turn to stacks of envelopes of varying heights - not very impressive, though - threw an uncertain look at attentive Princess. “Thank you, Dark Whisper, you've done a great job. And I really do appreciate your help.” Luna smiled cheerfully at her helper, coming to the table. She may have lacked experience in many of her daily activities, but her tenacity, dedication, and sincere fervent devotion made the night pony learn new things rather quickly. And no matter how much Dark demonstrated in words, that she was ready to die, as required by - as the Princess of the Night thought - the monstrous and insane law, it was clearly visible how happy she really was to be alive and how grateful to her mistress for that. And how desperately afraid of letting her down... Luna sighed quietly, but Whisper, unfortunately, heard that clearly. “Something wrong, the Great one? I!..” Thestral stepped back reflexively, laying back her ears and, as it seems, getting ready to fall on her knees. “No-no, everything is great!” The alicorn hastened to assure her, lifting her gaze from the table and holding her helper softly with telekinesis. “And... Can you bring me some tea? High-mountain collection, with peppermint.” “Count it done, Great one!” The mouse-winged pegasus sighed with relief and hastened to vaporize behind the door, leaving the Princess of the Night alone with her study and two small dozens of letters on the table. Following the thestral with a gaze, Luna allowed herself to sigh again. Instead of getting closer, becoming her friend, Dark Whisper seemed, on the contrary, to have only distanced herself, finding the signs of friendly attention from her more as a reason to increase her responsibility - and trying hard now to match that level, almost completely giving herself to her service. Settling at the table, the alicorn pulled up the first letter from the pile of requests. It should have been done a long time ago... At least, the initial avalanche of congratulations and expressions of loyalty had fallen upon her sister's secretariat. And when she had her own address to write to, the flood of messages has all but abated. And before that, Tia read out her most outstanding letters before dinner... Tia... For the umpteenth time today, her thoughts returned to her sister. She accepted the apology so easily, as if nothing has happened before. She was smiling the same way, hiding her tiredness and restlessness, the same way she was avoiding questions and assuring her that everything was all right... And there was an uneasy, creepy look in her eyes at times, a kind of hopelessness. She pleaded, almost begged Luna to get rid of Nightmare as soon as possible. In her traditional way, without explaining anything and, as it seemed, completely ignoring any arguments against it. When she realized, that she was about to surrender to her unhappy sister's pleas, the Princess of the Night hurriedly left, citing business reasons. It wasn't good, but... Celestia's condition was the most eloquent argument for Nightmare to stay - and learn as soon as possible. The nightmare clung to her sister in a way, that was beginning to resemble some of the damnation the Mare in the Moon was so fond of mentioning... In light of this, Luna has not even decided yet to lift her fervent, idiotic ban on her sister - a decision that still stung from within, causing almost disgust for herself... Catching herself putting the letter aside as read, not even remembering what was in it but just mechanically glancing over the lines, Princess sighed and picked it up again to try to read it this time. The letter turned out... Unusual. It was written by some journalist, and a request for... a conversation for a newspaper is a quite typical phenomenon for them, but it also asked in extremely accurate terms what happened between her and Nightmare Moon, with a quote from her, unequivocally sending such questions to her, Luna. Alicorn drooped, taking another jab from... from the daughter she had betrayed. "You did this, you answer for it! Come out and tell what you are!” Fair enough. Well deserved. And unbearably painful... "That's why I didn't get away from Blueblood..." Princess closed her eyes a few seconds, put the letter aside and glanced at the clock. Soon it will be dinner, and not long after that the Prince would be here. But for now - work. After moving the letter she has already read again closer, Luna dipped her quill in the inkwell. She hesitated, and finally wrote a resolution in the blank space: “Denied”. Bit her lip, sighed and added below: “Perhaps later”. After another half a minute of looking somewhere through the sheet, wondering whether to write the answer herself, Princess, unable to find the moral strength, put the read message aside, this time - for good. First it was necessary to save her sister. And the truth about herself will be undoubtedly told later. ... “Good evening to you, Your Highness Princess Luna.” “Greetings, Your Grace.” Nodding at the Prince’s bow, alicorn looked at her perverse guard with a heavy gaze. “It's not for nothing that Nightmare sometimes pejoratively calls them blockheads." She mentally sighed. It was an unfortunate reluctance on the part of many of the Night Guards to realize that they were not behind enemy lines and that they did not need to distrust everyone around them. Although they have finally been taught to not escort every day pony that entered the Night Princess' domain, not everyone has yet learned how to let even those who were explicitly ordered to be let through unhindered. The Great One, you see, is dangerously neglectful of her safety... Blockheads. Giving the furry-eared subordinates another disgruntled look and making a mental note to appoint only officers to the post, Luna smiled at slightly nervous Blueblood and made an inviting gesture. They walked in silence for a while. “My admiration for the architect and designer, Your Highness." The unicorn put his hoof to his chest as he walked, not even straying from his steps. “The chambers are truly magnificent.” Princess cringed in thought. So many years have passed, but the aristocrats have not changed. She herself had tried to follow the etiquette of the dialog at first. But she has become somewhat accustomed to getting straight to the point so as not to irritate Nightmare Moon, who was irritated by all the beating about the bush. It seemed that she, too, was quietly beginning to like this approach... “I can give you a tour. And please, don't be too formal - we're not in public.” “As you wish. It would be a great pleasure to get to know the designs.” “Please, follow me.” There was a tense silence between the crowned companions again, interrupted only by the clatter of hooves on the shiny polished stone of the floor. Forcing words to appear in her mind, Luna turned to the Prince and was about to address him. But when she caught the unicorn's gaze as she turned to say something, she was confused and turned away hastily, noticing with her peripheral vision, that he did the same. “Nightmare, in that case, is usually quick to turn everything over to me, beginning to 'praise' me for my constructive dialog and lively participation in it until I get angry and really start answering something...” Alicorn chuckled with the edges of her lips, but chased away the chuckle immediately and sighed quietly. You wanted to be responsible for what you've done - do it. No one is going to make life easier for you... “You were... Going... To continue our conversation, weren't you? In the garden?” Princess gritted her teeth and exhaled determinedly for a second, but managed to squeeze it out. The stallion, who seemed to have just reassembled for some question, lost his step for a moment. Luna paused, letting him keep his distance. “Yes, Your Highness.” He nodded gloomily, getting over the second perplexity. “Though, frankly, I don't quite know how to continue it, and I don't know if I need to. You have already said your word, and I should stop looking for something in it that would allow me to continue clinging to my aunt's beautiful tale. There was not a shred of truth in the whole story!” Prince gritted his teeth and whipped his tail on his side. “So maybe there’s none in our whole history!” Luna turned her gaze away, letting it at the floor. Tia... did allow herself to argue with history in some places, mostly by trying to round off and soften the hardest and bloodiest pages of it as much as possible. The raids by griffon gangs, for example, remained as a fact, but the fact that they not only robbed, but often massacred entire small villages, enslaved ponies, and some - Princess shuddered - even ate their prisoners... Perhaps her sister was right in this, not glossing over these or those facts, but only trying to shield the peaceful people of the ponies from the most disgusting details. “As far as I have become familiar with modern history, it is nowhere blatantly against the facts that I personally know, although it avoids unnecessarily bloody and brutal moments.” “Except for the story with your banishment.” The unicorn added gloomily, stopping and looking somewhere aside. Luna stopped too, and stared at the painting, that has caught her interlocutor's attention. In the painting, an alicorn, who looked vaguely like herself, wearing old-fashioned armor and a glaive held by her leg, along with a pair of equally old-fashioned-looking guards, stood in front of a watchtower with a modern Equestrian flag flying on a flagpole. "Princess Protector" read the title at the bottom of the frame. “Sister loves me, even if I don't deserve it.” Slowing, she replied finally. “And she wanted everyone to know you like this and no more, though that wasn't true." The stallion nodded frowningly at the picture. “She forgave me for what I did.” Princess dropped her gaze at the floor. “For the wounds I inflicted on her - mental and bodily. She wanted to start everything anew...” “And then, to everyone's glee, it brought me, and everything fell apart, yeah.” Luna and Blueblood shivered and turned around simultaneously at the unexpected voice behind them. “Greetings, Nightmare...” The Princess of the Night said hi a bit shyly. So ill-timed... Or?.. And why did she, who tolerated the company of the younger diarch with a marked moral effort on her part, suddenly come up and speak first? “Honestly, I didn't expect to see you today. Yes, allow me to introduce His Grace Prince Blueblood. Prince Blueblood - this is Her Grace Princess Nightmare Moon.” “Very... pleased... to... meet... Your... Your Grace." The unicorn panted with an effort, stepping back involuntarily under the Mare in the Moon's sharp gaze, which, though, she quickly averted. “I can't sleep 'cause of our beloved trainings.” She mumbled. “Blueblood you said...” She glanced quickly towards the Prince again and looked away after a moment, though Luna caught a glimpse of an eyebrow arching in surprise, as if Nightmare knew the Prince - and was surprised at what he was doing here in the first place. “And why do you need him? Don't you say me you're looking for a lover?” “You!.. Yes!.. I!.. No!!!” Nightmare's savage guess caught her by surprise in a moment. How she? Why would?!.. How can!.. “Yeah, truly, what am I talking about... Who needs you anyway?” The black alicorn chuckled unfriendly and, coming closer, looked at the painting as well. “Painter with a mouth, damn it. Even I know, that the flag was different back then...” “Y-Your Grace, I... I must insist, that you apologize to Her Highness!” The unicorn suddenly stepped forward on trembling legs, as if trying to at least partially cover Princess Luna with himself. “Prince Blueblood!..” Luna, who has not had time to stop the stallion, has come to her senses and now only bit her lip. Discord! Where’s he!.. Clearly out of sorts, or rather, in her frequent state of silent rage over what was probably a failure. Nightmare could strike anyone particularly annoying without remorse with a lightning. There have been three or four such incidents. And now, apparently, there would be another... “What the best person you've found to protect, ay.” But she seemed to calm down a bit instead, glancing at the unicorn again with an appraising glance. Then, for some reason uncharacteristically fast, back at the painting. With a silent exhale, Luna loosened her grip, allowing the hastily created shield spell to disintegrate. “You think she's like this one here, don't you?” The Mare in the Moon nodded at the painting. “No. Princess Luna told me about... Her mistakes in the past.” He answered grimly. “But even with this taken in count, I don't think it’s right...” “How much did she?” Now Nightmare glanced at the alicorn with an appraising glance, interrupting Blueblood, who snorted indignantly at that. “That she almost killed her sister, stained the weapon with her blood and left you, her faithful comrade, to die alone!” The Princess of the Night looked defiantly. “So you only told me about the daughter?” Luna recoiled back reflexively from something chill in the Nightmare Moon's gaze. “Daughter?..” “Yes, Prince, daughter.” The Mare in the Moon bared her teeth evilly, not turning her gaze away from Luna. “She didn't leave just some comrade to die, right, Luna?” “You left?!.. Oh, Celestia... It... It can't be!..” The unicorn looked at both alicorns with fear. It’s her revenge. It should be denied, no talk! She wouldn't be trusted!.. Be silent, hide, disguise... Run away from the responsibility, as usual. And lost the chance for forgiveness for good. Enough. I won't run anymore. “Alas to me, Blueblood.” Her own voice sounded foreign to Princess - muffled, dry, and lifeless... “Thanks to me, Nightmare Moon appeared. And for everything she did for me, I repaid her by betraying her and leaving her for certain death. Only thanks to the Elements of Harmony is she alive again.” The words flew off the tongue without effort, though tears welled up in the eyes. And there was also a sense of... freedom. Let everyone hate her, but lies and fear had no power over her anymore. Luna looked into Nightmare's eyes, which were filled with astonishment and some unspeakable longing in the depths. “B-but... why?!” Blueblood, tilting, leaned against a wall. “But I did not understand whom I created. And then I began to fear instead of trying to understand. And one day that fear took over for good. Only in the last moment I had the time to have a doubt, but it couldn't have been stopped...” The Princess of the Night sighed brokenly, feeling the recent calmness beginning to fade. “I remember.” Nightmare's quiet voice came out of nowhere, shattering the oppressive and ominous silence in the corridor. “What?” Luna barely found the strength to ask. “Realization, that you felt in the last moment. And uncertainty, after which fear came... I just dove into the memory... To support the needed level of angriness, so to speak.” Nightmare chuckled quietly and creepy. “And just bumped into the right moment.” “Sorry.” “Go to devil. Or to your Prince, who is about to have a stroke.” It's true... Luna sighed, turning to the completely stunned unicorn, trying to suppress her emotions and somehow calm her frantically pounding heart. “I’m very sorry for this family play, Your Grace. Are you alright?” “A? No... I fear I’m not.” The unicorn flinched, peeled away from the wall and, in violation of all the written and unwritten rules, sat down exhaustedly right on the floor. “Honestly, it’s hard to believe, that... Oh, h-hay...” “You, as I understand, came with questions? Now live with the answers.” Nightmare hummed sadly. “Welcome to depression. Consider yourself at home, you're here for a long time.” “Honestly, Your Grace, I understand why Princess Luna could fear you so much, even though partially...” Prince mumbled. “It doesn't excuse me, Blueblood. Nightmare is the way she is because of me.” “Well, you found the courage to tell all about this.” Prince chuckled nervously, looking at the floor and frantically fixing his hair. “But you must understand, that...” He hesitated. “That you’ll let the cat out of the bag for all Canterlot.” Nightmare hinted with an even voice, wandering across the corridor with her gaze. “I’m Prince and not going to drop my honor so low, Your Grace!” Blueblood sent a lightning by his gaze, standing up. “I swear, Your Highness, that these words will not leave from within these walls. And... The monstrosity of what you have done surpasses anything I have ever known, but also your courage to admit it to the eyes of an outsider pony... Truly, I have received answers with which I do not know what to do.” “And still... I allow you to talk about this if the desire appears. Especially because I’ll tell it myself sooner or later.” “By no means, Your Highness.” The unicorn looked at Luna. Sighed. “It’s not like I’m against your breathtaking story on the main square.” The Mare in the Moon said thoughtfully after a few dozens of long seconds, interrupting the hung silence. “But hold your horses, blue one. Because I’m a little afraid of the things that can happen to Tia if you do this...” “Oh... Thank you, Nightmare. I'm already... I do first, then I think, just as you mock..." Luna glanced at Prince, who has re-seated himself against the wall, and joined him. “It's a bit of a surprise that you care about my aunt...” “Tia is my friend, Prince.” Nightmare, with a brief glance at the unicorn beside him and at the alicorn sitting a little further to his left, hesitated, and after walking a few steps so that Luna was in the middle, she too flopped down on the floor. “O-of... No truth in legs, ay?..” Silence. “I must say... I’m even surprised, that you defend me after what you've heard. Aren't you the least bit confused by what I said?” Luna looked thoughtfully at the stallion. “They frightened me, Your Highness. But... You're not a monster, like Sombra or Nightmare Moon, which was drawn in history, you... You regret. And I hope, that one day you’ll make peace. I'm sorry if I'm interfering...” “I... Thanks for believing in me, Blueblood.” “Nightmare Moon?” “What do you need?” “Please, give Princess Luna a chance, like you gave to my aunt.” “Tia didn't betray me, glossy.” Silence felt again. “Maybe tea? I’ll order it to be...” Luna offered shyly. There was a kind of unbelievable emptiness in the head, just as it seemed to be in everyone else's here. “Without me.” Nightmare Moon got on her feet, sniffing. “I’m going to bed. I've had enough of talks today.” “Your Grace?” “Perhaps a sedative." Prince chuckled, glancing at some stricken Nightmare as she strode nervously down the corridor, awkwardly warming up her wings. “And Your Highness...” “Yes, Blueblood?” “It's late now, of course, but... You promised me a tour.”
50. The Tension PointAuthor's Note "The decision is made." Original author's note. About the "Current state". This joke is untranslatable, since Russian Текущее состояние SHOULD be translated as "current state ", but literally it can be translated as "dripping state", when something is leaking out of someone (in this case). 50. The Tension Point Cold water rushed over my head, making my fur on my withers grow cold and puffy. “Fucking die, Prince!..” I took a step forward, putting my back under the jets as well. Now I was desperately trying to squeeze into a point under the practically icy water crashing down on me from the ceiling. A huge shower head with a diameter as big as a meter was hanging from it. Oh, damn it!.. But I should recover myself.. My heart was still pounding furiously in my chest, rigging in my ears, tugging at my floppy wings, that refused to fit snugly against my body. My belly was filled with the heat and heavy languor, that I was now trying to extinguish with water. I shuddered, almost reflexively pulling up my legs, as I stepped further under the shower. The stream of water hit my croup, sliding icy streams down my thighs and belly. I swore again, feeling my flaming cheeks stand out especially against the cold fur. Damn it... I haven't dreamed of porn for a while, and in this life, I think I had never. The details vanished from my mind as soon as I opened my eyes, but the fact that I was figuratively spending the night with Blueblood was well remembered. Damned horse!.. Last night, if that body had had a stallion unit - it would have been bumping the floor from a boner, bastard! I had a very suspicious urge to examine stallions and wake up from vague, but obviously exciting dreams... Have “these days” come, as one "well versed in mares" doctor had promised?.. I gritted my teeth and shook my head irritably, whipping my wet mane into my muzzle. I was catching my thoughts as they crept from the doctor to Mac and then to the passionate comparison between him and Blueblood. That seemed to be why Rar had fallen out of the conversation once, clearly thinking about the wrong thing with a dreamy expression on her face... After I turned off the shower, I walked shakily to the bowl of the small pool, exhaled, and plunged into it, sinking up to my neck. The cold water didn't scald my more or less prepared body anymore, but it still hit the hottest places, making me cramp up for a moment. Ah-h!.. Without the "cover", which partially reduced the sensitivity of the organs to external influences, it would have been extreme... I got used to it a little, went to the edge, overcoming the resistance of the water. I rested my head on the edge, gritting my teeth and waiting for the shiver to pass over my body. “I don't even know what's the best of the cursed two: bleed out and get mad for a few days a month or watch porn in every dream and lick lips at every passing stallion...” I mumbled through teeth sadly, examining gloomily the darkness behind blurry dim “impenetrable” window. Woke up at the crack of dawn again... To be fair, of course, it's hard for me to compare. The male body was definitely more practical in this respect... Although... Getting hit by a belt buckle by accident, just putting on jeans, is also quite a sensation... I took my chin off the floor, inhaled, and pushed off the edge and fell into the pool, letting my body sink beneath the water. I opened my wings, exhaled, releasing a stream of bubbles into the haloed mane hovering around me. I enjoyed the dense, heavy chill enveloping my open wings and head. As I emerged, I leaned my forelegs on the edge. So, is this the kind of thing that's going to happen every month now? I threw the wet mane back from my face. I looked wistfully into the water, through which the rippling outlines of my own belly and hind legs, surrounded by a halo of tail hair, were showing through. The solution, albeit a temporary one, was actually there, give a hoof, as they called it. Literally... The right front leg plunged under the water...frozen in mid-motion. I hesitated and with some effort put it back on the edge. No, fuck this. I'm not so... ready to go into... exploring my new body, even though after all the days I've lived in it, it's not what you'd call new. Someday, of course, I will get used to the idea that I am a mare in my new life, with new rules and in a new world. I will gradually get used to it... Maybe I will like it. Yeah... Someday. Not now. I'd better get back to work now. Maybe I wouldn't have time to think about it anymore. Damn... ... “... Fine. Thanks for understanding, Inkwell.” “Don't mention it, Your Grace, I understand, that ponies like you have a crowded schedule. If you have some time, you can read the next topic in the meantime, so we don't have to start from scratch.” “I'd if I have to.” “Goodbye, Your Grace.” After saying goodbye to the professor, I hurriedly closed the door. By that I wouldn't catch myself staring at another stallion for the umpteenth time that day. I had to generally, referring to the terrible busyness, to send him to hell, because I'm afraid to even wonder what would be for me in the current, not quite adequate state, an hour and a half classes in his presence... I was annoyed and whipped my tail on my side. No, I wasn't losing my head, of course, but my attention and thoughts were very easily and willingly focused on... on the wrong thing! Abyss! Maybe it was the lack of habit, maybe it was a very long absence of representatives of the opposite sex in the radius of my slightly mare body. I do not know, but my hormones were literally boiling inside, and excitement pounced like crazy, if I found a slightest reason. “Braaha-a-a!.. How do they live with this?..” I whined under my breath sadly. “They live good, with pleasu-ure”... Damn it. I rubbed the bridge of my nose with a heavy sigh. It's really my own fault for paying so much attention to it... It goes willingly where I concentrate! Yesterday, for example, I somehow managed to talk to the blue one and, more importantly, Blueblood, who stopped by to see her. Yes, I behaved like a fool, answered in some places inappropriately, caught myself periodically thinking about what a dense aura the Prince has, what a strong magician he is and what a graceful long horn he has, how under the skin with shiny alabaster fur rolls dense harnesses of strong muscles, what a magnificent long golden mane, and his eyes, eyes!.. Roaring and rearing up, I hoofed the stone floor, deliberately not softening my landing. My stomach felt suspiciously warm and heavy again. Damn it! Let the abyss tear that Prince! I’m a fool as well, damn it! Remembering that fucking sex symbol in my current state! Current state... Current state... I snorted and laughed, reflexively trying to fold in half. A-a-a, da-amn!.. It was so beautifully phrased!.. And try to argue - the state is quite current... Geez!.. Somehow ending the laughter, I shook my head, suppressing the coming chuckles in myself. Damn... Well, in reality, my current - stop laughing! - state is not absolutely current, which really helps. I don't seem to leave any wet spots, the "cover" doesn't knock out spontaneously, so... we'll get through it. The main thing is not to look at the stallions too much. And on all sorts of oblong objects, too, just to be safe... I cursed quietly as I felt my cheeks blushing. That's it, hell with it! It’s better for me to have a cup of tea. To rejoice once again that I am clever and prudent and have foresightedly ordered me to provide everything in the living room for the preparation of it. And I hope I'm done with obsessive thoughts for the day. And let Rarity think of handsome Blueblood... What a competitor... Damn it. ... DA-A-ANG! “Fall, you're killed!” I chuckled for a moment at the smoldering training ponyquin with a black spike on the side of its neck, wrinkling my nose from the burning and persistent smell of ozone. I wonder if my current is alternating or direct?.. I chuckled at the delirious thought and shook my head tiredly. Then walked over to my target and poured water from a bucket onto this smoldering thing. I grimaced and took a step back in haste when a small puddle of water touched my hooves on the floor. All right, let's call it a day. The horn was beginning to signal that it have had enough of magic... “Will you clean that up?” I looked around the mayhem with doubt. In addition to the burnt one, a couple of ponyquins had turned to ashes and were now lying in piles on the floor, which was also decorated with puddles and scorch marks. “Of course, my Great One! Happy to serve!” The bat-winged guard of unexpected bright crimson color, who was in charge of the training room today, bowed enthusiastically. She kept looking at me with admiring eyes throughout my experimentation, and it was embarrassing at first... Well, surprisingly, I had admirers among the Luna's blockheads. A few, but at least some. Interesting, what Luna is going to do with them? They, if something happens, will likely support me, than her... And heck with it, I guess. Luna accommodate them - let her have a headache about that. I said a short goodbye to the guard-fan, who was fixing my ponyquin, and left the training room. I think I'll go organize some food for myself... Why am I here today all of a sudden? I've been watching a lot of memory lately, and I was curious to try something from it. I got in again today, and drowned the stupid excitement with appalling mood I always find there along the way... But I did it for a good cause - and I found some interesting spells, and they were tested at the shooting range, so I got myself back in the mood, too. Although... Yeah... Partially only... I know now, for example, a half combat-half torture spell. It overloads nerve channels and causes severe pain up to and including cramps all over the body in the most random and unforeseen places. Nightmare had originally created it as an anti-aircraft, so that Tia, running away on the wings, could be shot down. But the thing, which looked like a gradually expanding web in flight, was too slow to catch up with the flying pony. How did Nightmare choose the power of influence for it? Of course experimentally. On the only living target on the Moon. On herself. I shuddered nervously, remembering the sensations caught by the edge of my consciousness. No, I'd use it against only some really fucked-up scumbags - the “Shock Net” spell... In addition, I practiced what I knew and more or less mastered: the usual magic beam, impulse, lightning - I love that crackle, damn it... I tried to configure the shields - it goes like “nah, C and no more”. If Shining's shield then, I remember, felt like a thick rubber backed by a mass of water, then mine, glowing with its characteristic native turquoise, looked at best like an inflated plastic bag, giving no sense of reliability at all. I was not very good at its form yet either... But, nevertheless, I grew a lot in magic during this month. The regular lessons, answers to any questions, and any possible books on the subject within walking distance had a very positive effect on the results. And my body was slowly coming to its senses, allowing me to do things, which would have sent me to the hospital earlier. And that feeling of energy flowing inside as you cast your spell... I blissfully squeezed my eyes shut. Oh, man, for the horn and the wings I'm even ready to forgive this body's gender identity! Well, if right now, then I'm ready! And when the next problem and inconvenience comes up with it again, I won't be ready, as usual... I chuckled briefly. “Greetings, Nightmare! I’m happy to see you in a good state of mind!” I was greeted as I turned the corner of the corridor. “Cadence? Hi. What brings you here?” I saluted the friendly pink alicorn with a wing and headed towards her. “Auntie gave me a few day offs - so I stopped by Luna. Haven't seen her in a while... She's so poor..” She drooped for a moment. “Then I thought of going to you, but the guards said you're not there.” “I’m back, as you see.” I moved with a wing. “Will you come in?” “Of course, Nightmare.” Princess smiled. “Let's go then.” I nodded in the direction she'd come from, staring at the mare for a moment. No matter how good Cadence draws make up, but exhaustion was written not on her face - on her whole body. It seems, that someone is really tired of replacing Tia on the throne... “Sorry for not stopping by earlier, Nightmare.” Lowering ears, the interlocutor confessed bitterly, when we were about to come into my chambers. “Cadence, have you seen yourself in a mirror?” I looked askew at her, slowing the pace. Nuts... “When was the last time you slept more than four hours, huh? Hungry?” “A bit.” She replied shyly. “Luna and I had a good snack, but it was a long time ago... And I got a good sleep!” “I believe you, yeah, yeah.” I nodded meaningfully. “Four hours plus a liter of coffee are still not “a good sleep”, Cadence. It’s more like “trying to have a good sleep”...” “Find me a servant to arrange a supper for two in my chambers. And tea with something tasty.” I addressed to a pair of blockheads, guarding next to the doors of my temporary apartments. Noting the beginning of the execution of my highest will, I opened the door: “Come in.” “I’m not that sleepy.” The alicorn grumbled, stepping over threshold. “And I don't look that bad!” “Yeah, uh-huh. And who was whining then, in the letters, about having no time to sleep? Fall down, there are poufs lying around - grab yourself a couple of pieces. And yank the pillow off the chair. How are you doing at general?” “Well, okay, I’m a bit exhausted - you already noted that. And exaggerated.” The violet eyes of Princess looked at me reproachfully. But she heeded the advice and sprawled out on the poufs, pillow and fluffy living room carpet. “I've seen Shiny only two times during this period.” She sighed. About stallions, by the way... “Sir Clear is again hanging around with his bill, proposing the same thing in different wording for the second week, and making him review and reject it over and over again! Because he won't get the money, he wo-o-on't! Oh... And this Highly Likely! Auntie’s press-secretary, you know? Honestly, I want to...” Fucking kill her? “...Fire her and never let her near the palace again!” Ponies... “Oh, sorry, Nightmare... I guess you become tired of these work moments and their depictions? I've already complained to Luna, and now I’m complaining to you, I just can't stop." The alicorn became cutely embarrassed. “Well, I asked how you were myself." I hummed, also laying on the rug on my side and trying to prop my head up with my hoof. Mediocre pose, not the best in terms of ergonomics. “It's just as I wrote to you in my letters-it's really boring." Cadence waved away hopelessly. “Everything important, everything essential - and everything has to be done in the way that pleases everyone... How has auntie been ruling Equestria for the whole centuries? I’m so sorry for her..." “You’ll get used to it and won't be worse than her. Maybe you'd even like it.” I chuckled. “Marry your Shining, conquer some kingdom from some tyrant and rule there as an alicorn...” “Nice joke.” My guest giggled blushingly. “And even marrying Shining... I’m not quite sure...” She hid her muzzle from me. “Oh, why are we talking about me and only me? How are you, Nightmare?” Princess hastened to change the topic subtly and elegantly. “Luna said, that you study, don't you?” “Kinda.” I moved with a wing, making myself more comfortable on my belly and resting head on the folded fore legs. “Learn something, and sometimes it works... I don't know what to tell about it.” “I can't hold myself from this question... Excuse me, please, if it's unpleasant for you...” The interlocutor hesitated. “You and Luna are getting along?” “Don't you tell me you didn't ask that herself.” “I did, but... wanted to..” “To get on my nerves on a plain spot.” I sighed. “Somehow we are. Both are alive, as you see. What else is needed?” “And you feel absolutely nothing towards her? Even now, when you live together, she teaches you and...” Got on my head, damn it! Cadence, I wish you ripping diarrhea during sex!.. “I don't have a clue how I feel towards her, is that clear?” I interrupted the prater mid-word, diligently pressing her with a gaze “And it's all because of you!” I stood up sharply, poking my hoof accusingly in the direction of the frightened alicorn. Then I walked quickly towards the bedroom, ignoring the bewildered call. I went in, looked for the letters of the blue one, and headed back. I was greeted in the living room by distraught and confused Cadence, with a "What have I done?” on her face. “Here! Seems familiar?” I waved with the sheets of paper before her nose. “Well, yes...” The alicorn mumbled shyly, taking the letters with a loss and watching the top one for a moment. “And what y...” “You're the one who wrote ‘em, aren't you?” I flopped back down on the rug, feeling the flash of emotion fade away, leaving behind a kind of tired apathy. “Luna, with her phenomenal abilities to get along with others, wouldn't think of it in her entire life.” “Absolutely not, Nightmare.” Sighing, Princess shifted feet shyly and laid down further away, giving me a sad gaze. “I just hinted what she can try to write about to not irritate you.” “Like you know what does and what does not.” I grumbled under my breath, but the interlocutor heard that anyway. “Not this way... Just... Felt it would be... Right? And after that I was with Luna to support her.” “Why did you feel need in that at all?” I was about to get up, but fell back, waving away with a hand in thought. What difference does it make, really? And what do I even want to hear from her? “Both of you are my friends, Nightmare! I don't want you to quarrel!” “Quarre-el?!” I almost started to hiss. “Do you even know what happened there to call it a quarrel?!” “I know, Nightmare.” She looked right in my eyes and but lost the gazes’ fight, but her voice was still defiant, even when she started to sharply examine the floor. “Luna told me everything - and this is why I promised her to do everything I can to make peace between both of you! And when I know, that you're... Siblings - I won't get back at all!” “She blabbed it out even to you?” I raised my brows in surprise. I didn't expect that from the blue one - not yesterday, not now... “What difference does it make if I'm not going to forgive her?” “But you don't feel the previous rage towards her?” Cadence looked at me with pity and hope. “I'd like to have it!..” “Why? For what?” Stupid horse! Fucking shit, gets on my nerves!.. “Because...” I stumbled, feverishly trying to state a reason. Not “because of what?” “For what?”.. Damn it, Cadence!.. “You're alive, you're healthy, you have friends. A life with all its variety lies before you, your future does! And Luna has the same! Isn't it a good ending for everyone? Isn't it a reason to pardon the mistakes of past?” “Don't you poke your nose into that!” I hissed coldly, greeting teeth. Cadence, you're going for a story after which I'll have to kill you so it doesn't go to the masses. Just in case! You pink bastard, I wish you were torn and glued to pieces! God damn you with that kind of talk! “A good ending” she found, damn it... For Luna maybe, but for me... But for me... For previous me-human - not bad, I guess, but for me-pony... Yeah, like I’m not a pony, what a cool fairy tale... For Nightmare... I thought there wasn't much left of her, but was I right? It's hard for me to even mentally divide myself into parts: I am what I am. I love the flying, the horn-ringing magic and its possibilities, the attention to myself. I stare at stallions - even if it's because of physiology... I want to believe that it's physiology, yeah... And I also unwittingly cringe at the feeling of a look into my back under the starry night sky and I am desperately afraid, that everyone will leave me alone and, sometimes, I wind myself on this subject - in order to cry on the shoulder of my friend after the relief of meeting... I am Nightmare. I am as well. Changed under the weight of loss and the strokes of fate and under the influence of man and the Elements of Harmony. But we don't say someone is dead when they change over time, do we? They say sometimes "After that he died to me" if some change they can't accept, but the key here is still "to me", right? And if I'm pretty much a Nightmare, which survived on the Moon, which came back here and found friendship and understanding and was able to move on, then... it really didn't end so horribly?.. What if this is all just a thought for self-soothing, and I'm deluding myself?.. “Cadence, I’ll... Destroy you in the next duel.” With a sigh, I raised my muzzle, which was tucked into my front legs. I'll even do a Shock Net for this one, damn! To make you feel something similar to what I'm feeling right now! Pink bastard... “Sorry, Nightmare. I really am.” Alicorn laid back her ears with a sigh and guiltily looked away “I wanted to better it... I shouldn't have pressed so much. Sorry.” “Hell with you...” The bell rang. “Go meet our food if you're so smart and understand everyone.” I grumbled, standing up. “And put the pillows on the floor in a more colorful way. I’ll put this waste paper.” I nodded at the ill-fated letters. ”On its place.” ... “Tasty! I think I've never tasted such a thing.” Cadence fell onto the poufs with satisfaction. “Your loss.” I moved with a wing, chuckling shortly. “My loss.” The guest agreed, sighing with a clear strain. “But... Isn't it too caloric?” “Don't care.” I smiled, baring teeth. And if you look, considering how rickety my new body turned out to be, becoming fat was not a realistic prospect for me now. Especially considering the fact, that this body is not so easy to feed. “I'll have to count it." Alicorn sighed again, stroking her belly and glancing enviously at my still-not-empty plate. Fried potatoes with onions and mushrooms, sour cream, cucumber - though, not salted, but fresh, damn it - but still. M-m!.. Why didn't they cook in that way? They used to eat mushrooms, fry potatoes, and have sour cream - but they never combined them, stupid horses. Long live the progression and enlightenment of the savages! I chuckled and crunched on a cucumber wedge with pleasure. “I’m... Of! Oh!..” Cadence tried to get up, and she looked at me with a pitying look as she straightened up. “I ate too much!” “Do you want me to roll you to bed?” I asked, and could hardly keep from bursting into laughter at the pitying, angry, judgmental look in response. “Nightmare!.. Argh!..” Princess rolled her eyes. “Villain! If only you ate like everypony instead of doing it prone!..” Yes, I was not afraid of a bit of sibilance, but I had a low table. It was literally a dozen or so centimeters. And I used that to sit behind on poufs and cushions when I was in the mood, taking advantage of the opportunity to eat with my horn without making any unnecessary movements. At first, Cadence was trying to lecture me about it, but I somehow managed to persuade her, and now I was enjoying the indignation. While suffering Princess of love, sighing pitifully, staggered and shuffled from foot to foot, I quickly finished my portion. Then I got rid of the extra dishes, and began to pour the tea, causing the guest a heart-rending groan with a plate of cakes on the table. It seemed that someone was afraid of losing too much in this battle. Form, for example... I chuckled. “I won't come to see you anymore.” Caddie grumbled hopelessly, settling back down on the cushions along the table. “Try those yellow "baskets" over there, with the pineapple slices. They’re tasty.” I demonstratively recommended in response, feeling a slightly malicious smile spreading across my lips. “You're unbearable!” Princess rolled her eyes and, with a heavy sigh, leaned closer to the dish, scrutinizing the assortment. “Eat, eat, my friend. And soon you’ll be unbearable as well... And needed and heavy...” I couldn't hold it and sobbed, nuzzling into a pillow. “Nightmare!!!” Something soft and heavy hit my shoulder. “Sorry-sorry. Kh-h... Of...” I somehow ended the laughter under an angry gaze of the interlocutor, still chuckling a bit. Then I lifted myself up, put my front legs out in a conciliatory gesture, and handed her back the pillow with my telekinesis. “I’ll think about it!” She sulked demonstratively, sniffing unhappily, picking up her returned "weapon”. With a titanic effort I swallowed one more dig. I wanted to advise that it would be better to think with a pastry. I chased it away with warm tea and chewed an eclair, thrown in the mouth whole. We ended the tea in silence. “Listen, Cadence...” I remembered my problem. You irritated me with awkward questions - now it’s my turn! Although, of course, it's still a very big question for whom these conversations will be more uncomfortable... “M?” “You're Princess of love, aren't you? If it’s not a secret - what part of it?..” The question sounded somehow uncertain, with the feeling that I wouldn't like any answer. “First of all, the love of sweets.” I looked at her gloomily. Kidding. Cadence looked at me with a professional brick face and shifted her gaze to the plate of sweets, that still had something left. “If seriously? Sorry, I mocked you a bit, yes...” I sighed. “I don't have a clue, honestly.” The alicorn sighed as well, slowing. “I don't really know the limits of my talents yet. If you want to find out something about... carnal love." She blushed cutely. "Well, I... know something, sure, but... it's hard to call me a professional in... that field. But I’ll try.” “I’m...” Damn it, it's harder than I thought... “I’m... Very attracted... To stallions. Generally, I don't know what is it and what to do.” I stated in a crumpled way, being silently happy - I said everything and don't have to say anything more. “Well, it's a normal thing for a mare to be attracted to stallions.” Cadence looked at me with a doubt and went wordless, awaiting reaction. Kidding. I bit my lip thoughtfully. Damn, should I say her my feelings about stallions? And about mares, and about relationships in general... She’ll try to find this out, damn her... Or maybe even help! Nah, let’s try something without great losses for now. “Well, yes, but the last couple of days I can hardly take my eyes off of them!” Princess raised an eyebrow in surprise. Without waiting for me to continue, she raised a second one. “You... I mean, you don't understand, really?” “I have guesses.” I moved with a wing indefinably. “I won't believe in you not having hot days!” “Equalogist had to describe me what “cover” is on my first appointment. Try to argue against that.” “A... Oh...” Alicorn rubbed her forehead perplexedly. “Really?” “My memory got a bad hit, yeah.” “But... Don't you... Oh... Sorry. It's awful!” The purple eyes’ gaze was full of sympathy. “Don't say “awful”, help me - that'd be better.” I grumbled, lowering eyes. I don't like this way of looking at me... “I will, of course.” Cadence hastened to assure me. “Well, where to begin... You don't understand what's going on at all?” “Well, I know something... The main thing for me is when, for how long, and how to fight.” I waved away. “Well... Mostly it's on an individual basis. For a healthy pony, estrus occurs every month, within two to six days usually. The strength also varies: one does not notice almost, and the other can hardly keep herself in her hooves, but as a rule, there is something in between. In spring, from about April, the estrus stage lasts longer and is more intense, and becomes weaker with the beginning of autumn. How to fight it... Should we fight it? Why?” Shortly answering the questions, Cadence looked at me questioningly at the last point. What kind of a stupid question is that? If I asked - I need to! “It bothers me.” “With the help of your special pony or husband.” Cadence smiled fleetingly. “Or, well... M-m... Special kind of toys - if you understand what I mean. I don't know of any other ways to deal with arousal. Or, as an option, just be patient - it's not a big deal, and it doesn't take long. The "cover" doesn't go away, does it?” She looked a bit nervous at me. “It doesn't, I guess.” I waved my wings uncertainly, wishing I'd never gotten into this. Caddie, by all appearances, has quickly ceased to blush, now reasoning with the impartiality of a medic, but I... Shit... “Well, that means everything is alright.” Alicorn smiled. Alright for you! “Maybe... Well... A potion or somethin’, a spell?” “Oh Celestia, why do you need this dirt?!” Princess opened her eyes wide. “I'm sorry, you're probably just not familiar with these potions... There are potions, yes, but they are for emergencies, when due to pathology the mare literally loses her head these days, turning into a clot of instincts. The disease, fortunately, is very rare, and now there are even opportunities to cure it completely. I think that in twenty years this problem will have been defeated.” “What about the potions?” "So far we've had to use them to stop seizures, but honestly, if you ask me, I'd rather just tie up the poor one for a week than give her this toxic thing! The health effects are... deplorable. And, worst of all, it's addictive.” Alicorn sighed. Well, as always - shit is everywhere. I’m barely surprised. ... “And the spells... I've only heard of one, but it turns off all emotion, makes the pony... Like not alive." Cadence shuddered. “After the incident with Dr. Heartless' team, whose name you may know from books on anatomy and especially the anatomy of wings, this spell is forbidden for study and use without the personal permission of Princess Celestia.” “What incident?” There are bad suspicions, given the connection in the same sentence of the spell of emotionlessness and the writing of detailed anatomical handbooks... “I... I don't want to go further into that topic.” Princess answered a bit sharply, shivering. “And honestly - I don't have the right to. I’ll just say, that no one died and everything ended good just by a miracle.” “Got it... Sorry.” “Forget it, Nightmare.” Cadence smiled faintly. “So, about my question - suffer only?” “Well... Yes? It may be so difficult for you now from the first, but I think that in time you will stop reacting so acutely to it. Don't worry, Nightmare, everything will be all right. And if you have any such questions, don't hesitate to ask, I will always try to help my friend." She nodded encouragingly at me and began to reluctantly get out of the cushions in an attempt to stand up. “I think I’ll go. I definitively have to make some moves...” “Well, bye. Was happy to see ya.” “Same.” Princess answered back. “Stop by if you get hungry.” I winked, causing a harsh look. “Not funny!” “Come on. It’s so good to mock you.” “Nightmare!..” Alicorn rolled her eyes. ... “Sorry for disturbing you, Great Mother...” Coming in, the thestral said the “Great” part clearly doubtfully - and it was already usual. With some relief, I relaxed and turned my head toward him a little hastily: “What’s the matter?” “You’re... Wanted to be seen. Now.” The muscular, trim guard with an attractive, neat beard, explained evasively. “Who's there?..” I mumbled under my breath, turning to the tall, exquisitely built unicorn mare, whose chocolate mane was already gleaming with rare gray hair. She got it without words: “I guess we have to postpone our class, Your Grace?” She looked at me a bit questioningly. I nodded. “In this case, I suggest you to get back to the high art of dancing the day after tomorrow.” “Fine. Goodbye - and thanks for the science, Hi.” “I’m glad to help, Your Grace.” The unicorn smiled composedly. “Goodbye.” Accompanying the parting with an elegant and well-judged bow, the torturer-teacher of - God damn it - high art of etiquette, left the hall, accompanied by a suspicious glance of the unexpected visitor. Yes, and how she was streamlined, so as not to make me inadvertently look like an ill-mannered scarecrow in her eyes: "dancing", not holding a posture or mixing up spoons... Okay. “So... Who needs me so urgently?” I turned my gaze towards the guard. “Queen Celestia.” He chuckled at something, but immediately returned a brick expression on his face. “Why is it so secrete?” I looked away from the visitor with a strain. “You could've said that right off the bat.” Tia, yeah... It was expected, though. Even later than I had hoped at the time, when Luna reported that her sister had returned from her trips across the country. “She... very much asked not to be told who was calling." The guard explained with marked pleasure. “But your desire to know is higher than this, Great Mother.” “So you wouldn't have told me if I hadn't asked.” I hummed. “Okay, where’s she waiting? Let’s have a talk.” ... “Nightmare Moon.” The voice of the snowy mare echoed lightly under the high vaults of the palace corridor. “Hello, Princess.” Tia looked like... like she returned from a war - an analogy that somehow begged to be made. Everything looked the same, and nothing has changed, but there was something in her eyes. The shadows beneath them, the reddened eyes filled with fatigue and leaden heaviness - a stark contrast to the kind and full of life eyes, that had captured my soul... I just wanted to come closer and hug her. “I want you to leave Canterlot.” Celestia didn't choose soft wordings. Harsh... “Is everything that bad?” I asked uncertainly. Her words, of course, is kind of an answer - the dreams got her nerves heavily, but... “I've had worse.” She stated plainly. She froze for a moment, sighed and drooped a bit. “Please, Nightmare. I... Me...” The snowy alicorn hesitated. “Go away”, you say... And leave you like that?” I chuckled sadly, decrypting the stumble as a repeat of the request. “Have you seen yourself in a mirror?” “Nothing out of the ordinary is happening to me, no need to worry in vain. I'm just a little more tired than usual. And it hasn't been the easiest trip, either." She repeated with pressing, lifting gaze and trying to smile reassuringly. It... Didn't work out well. Yeah, Tia, I believe you. Believe you wholeheartedly... “Listen...” I sighed and stepped defiantly towards Celestia, deciding to rely on the most reliable mean of support for ponies. “Everything will be alright. Luna will have taught me, we’ll get rid of your nightmares, and then...” “There's no need, really.” A Princess’ gold-covered shoe bumped into my chest. “I’m alright, really. You are both mistaken if you think that I haven't had nightmares for the last thousand years. I have dealt with them for dozens of years. I will now, and, in my experience, soon enough." Tia took her foot away, making sure I wasn't trying to get any closer, and gave me another smile. Hm... Well, if you will look at it... “Especially since the nightmares aren't the problem I’m worried of the most.” Princess’ ears faded, she sighed. “Luna's... Remoteness bothers me a lot more. “ Don't you say me you threw shit at each other again, ay... “Had a fight?” “No, of course not!” Celestia smiled again. “It's just... She got in all this studying, that..." Alicorn made an indefinite gesture. “Sorry for my acridity at the start, Nightmare. We saw so little of each other...” “Just come by her more frequently.” I shrugged with wings. “I don't remember a single time since my arrival. Even now for some reason we're talking in a hallway instead of going in...” “Alas, but... I’m horrendously short of time nowadays.” Princess sighed, looking away. “And if I go away, it would magically appear...” I mumbled under my breath. “I... Understand your worrying about your sister after all this.” I moved my wing indefinitely. Damn, I still feel as a scumbag... “But I promised you, and I'm not going to change my word: her life is not in danger from my side.” “So you're refusing? Well, yeah, we're not friends to help each other!..” Tia said with a kind of angry bitterness. I was a little taken aback. There was no categorical refusal, but it was enough to make her look like a caged tiger. Her mane and tail danced like flames instead of the usual smooth excitement. Her unkindly squinted eyes were as if searching for the right places to hit me. In addition, she remembered my refusal, which seemed to have hurt her, despite her assurances to the contrary. If I... The Abyss... What could I do? “Princess, I...” Celestia closed her eyes, took a few quick breaths. She shuddered, her perfect face distorted for a moment. “I shouldn't have snapped." She looked faintly, finally lifting her eyelids. “Nightmare, leave my poor sister and leave Canterlot. I beg you.” I rolled my jaw, staring at the floor. What am I supposed to do? Tia really is strong and experienced, and she can imagine what she's dealing with, unlike Luna, who tends to over dramatize the threat. There's no way to check either, because I haven't gotten any practical results yet - the feeling that "about to" doesn't make the weather. It's essentially the word of lying, hysterical Luna versus the word of poised and wise Celestia, who, moreover, I don't want to let down again. Leave? And if I'm wrong - what happens then? Damn it... I can't leave. The... sensation rolling around inside me was somehow unrealistically clear and concrete: the threat was real. It meant that if I leave now, there will be trouble for sure. I sighed quietly through teeth. As a pilot's rule, a decision must be taken quickly and finally, because thinking for a long time in the air battle is a sure road to the grave. You had doubts? Here's a hint. I'm staying. What's next, we'll decide as we go along. “I’m afraid I have to decline it, Princess.” I lifted my head and immediately earned a spiky, relentless gaze. “I've been invited here by Her Highness.” I emphasized the title, which is equal to Tia's. “Princess Luna, and I can leave only when she allows me to. And I... Abyss... Please let me finish my studies, make sure everything is really okay, and I'll move back to my place in Ponyville to cuddle with Rarity and paint pictures.” Alicorn twitched barely visibly. “As you see, we get along with Luna somehow and...” “Be so." Tia interrupted me abruptly. “I'll let you stay, but make no mistake: my trust is not in you, but in my short-sighted sister, who keeps saying the same thing, and whom I do not wish to quarrel again with. But if anything happens to Luna, Nightmare." Tia said, her face almost point-blank. "I'll be very disappointed in you.” “Everything will be fine...” I mumbled, feeling my ears flatten against my head as I felt an underlying, frightening stare. There was no trace of the warm pink eyes, that radiated with a mother's concern in the bottomless purple wells, where the flames danced. “I count on that.” Celestia cut if off abruptly, took a step back and disappeared in a flash of teleportation, leaving me to blink blindly in the middle of the corridor alone. “Goodbye, Princess. I wish you the best...” I said into space, sighing. Nice talk... I’ll have food for thoughts. Abyss, damn it...
51. A Rare AdviceAuthor's Note "A friend won't leave you in trouble, won't ask too much. That's what a true, faithful friend means!" Original author's note. Borrowed from a Soviet animation. 51. A Rare Advice “What else do you need, huh?!..” I paced back and forth, flicking my tail at my sides angrily and keeping my gaze on Luna, who was watching me warily from the bed. Damn it! Abyss!.. Why does this shit always have to be about me?!.. Fucking shit!.. “Sorry, Nightmare. I don't know any other way.” The blue one, the living embodiment of guilt, lowered her gaze. “And I’m not sure we can let ourselves to have another week of fruitless attempts...” “Shut up, would ya?..” I cut it off gloomily, walking around the room nervously. I cursed quietly through my teeth at the impossibility of squeezing my temples with my front hooves right on the move. Goddamn legs! I squeezed as hard as I could with my wings. I don't know why. Hushed Princess furtively watched me warily, not daring to say anything more. After rewarding her with a long look and not finding the right words, I dropped to the floor with a groan and squeezed my temples between my hooves, wishing they had cool metal shoes on them. What for, damn it?.. When I had monthly in a horsy way, I sincerely hoped that all my problems with my studies were due to them. Well, at first I just didn't settle down rightly, and when I roughly did - it had started, so it wasn't working out... But my mind has fallen into place, the obsessive desire to find adventure under my tail was gone, promising to return in a month, and success was still no closer. It was felt that here - hold out your hand! But it was impossible to grasp it! I understood, I could feel what I had to do, but I just could not do it! I couldn't do it! I dispersed all the tutors three days ago, leaving only the especially beloved flying lessons, and stupidly tried to do it. By the known method, I started to fall asleep - try to catch the moment - miss - wake up - repeat. All the results obtained - yesterday's nervous breakdown with a quiet hysteria, several liters of tears and migraine from a screwed-up sleep regime... S-bitch, ah... And then this blue bastard comes in almost hopping and smiling and happily proclaims that she did it! So, instead of continuing to bang your head against the wall, you, Nightmare, can just open my mind and give it, along with the body, to steer, so that your hooves do everything, and you understand yourself - how to repeat that. That’s all!.. Goddamn all this fucking trash! And all the guarantees that they won't dig into my memory, and in my personality - to erase the "unnecessary" and prescribe the "necessary" - is the honest-to-goodness word of Luna, which is fucking stronger than peas, really! Let this fucking Equestria to burn with blue flame!.. And Luna with her nightmares! And Tia... And... Everyone else... “Damn it-it-it!!!..” I can't leave everything like that! I can't leave Tia! She's... I know firsthand how that shit eats away at the brain, and... No, I'm not fucking turning her in to that shit! But how then?.. You can't really guess at what point Sunny's bar will drop and she'll - figuratively - pick up the glaive and go kill the undesirables in the woods. Hell, it could be happening right now! I don't have time to break my teeth over this fucking stone of science, I don't! And, in fact, it wasn't there in the first place! We've been floating on one bare luck from the beginning and hoping that Celestia would last for a while. She did, but sooner or later our white horse would run out, and there'd be a round in the cylinder of the revolver we've been playing so excitedly with for three weeks... There's no way you can drag it out! But the alternative... I glanced over at Luna, who continued to swipe her tail tensely across the bed, biting her lip and giving me nervous and concerned looks. Why is everything always so fucking complicated, ay?!.. “Why should I trust you anyway?! I don't even know if it's really necessary for the very purpose you say it is! Why are you suddenly getting into my head?” “I... I know how that sounds." Luna sighed, uncertainly rubbing her left front leg with her right. “And I should have warned you sooner, but... But I never had the heart. I’m sorry! I was afraid you'd just drop everything and leave. And now, it turns out, I've dumped everything on you completely unexpectedly...” I strolled along the wall, clenching my jaw and rolling my jawbones. I'll have you torn and glued upside down, you gaunt scarecrow! Stupid horse! “Get back to the topic! Guarantees!” “None.” Freezing for a moment, she panted one word and, drooping, continued: “Only my word, that I won't do anything more than needed for the study.” “And what would you count as needed, huh? Memory screening? Cutting from it or swapping out the "unnecessary" pieces? What? “N-never!” Luna's voice shook visibly and shrank her head into her shoulders. “I’m not Sombra!.. And I give you my word that I will only help you to find the right feeling and keep it - and nothing else!” “Once a traitor, always a traitor, blue one." I spit, grimaced, and turned away from the window, where the occasional raindrop tapped softly. What should I do? What?.. Playing Russian roulette, where every few days a round is added to the cylinder - up to six - hoping to make it on your own before it's too late? What could crazy Tia do? She'd kill me, that's for sure... Or do something like what I dreamed of: cut off my horn and wings and walled me up in the dungeons. She’ll be angry for a month, will get me out and apologize... I shivered. I was afraid not only about myself, but about Celestia, too. She would never forgive herself... Would eat herself like Luna and cry into her pillow at nights... I growled and shook the stupid thoughts out of my head. In any case, we do not need this kind of hockey. Here is the only alternative - to trust - completely trust! - traitor, liar, and hypocrite! I threw a glance at Luna, who was thinking intensely about something. I turned away, sighed, and closed my eyes. I’m lying to myself. Abyss. In all the time I've been here, the blue one hasn't given me a single fact of such accusations against herself. I... I just hate her, that's all. I don't care what she is or how she acts or what she does now. And I don't have any faith in her. Damn it. “I need to think." I turned and headed for the exit. “Goodbye, Nightmare." Princess said sadly. “Good day to you.” Fucking bastard. *** How long have I been sitting here without leaving? Damn, in this climate you can't even tell it's September already... Damn... With a sigh I looked over the panorama of palace towers, gardens, and overhanging above the precipice landing sites, the background of which was a distant, distant fields with a thin serpentine stream and downy forest of miniature trees. And if you looked closely, you could see a small train crawling toward the bridge over the river... Damn it... Tearing my gaze away from the scenery, I strolled across the balcony. Sitting around in the night wing of the palace was starting to get on my nerves. But where to go to? I didn't want to get into the day wing, or the public and administrative parts, so as not to cause a stir or make Tia nervous again. The same could be said of the city. I had no time to go anywhere for long and far away, especially in the last week. Learning and improving magic relentlessly, trying to get into the fucking world of dreams, which I could not get my hands on, flying, reading, studying etiquette, history... And, of course, communicating with that damned Luna. Loaded me, damned blue one... Honestly, I tried to shake the “I need to think” phrase out of my head in the same moment the door closed, as well as the other thoughts about the latest conversation, which I then frantically drove away until the evening, instead hitting my head against studying and attempts to get the world of dreams, which always slip away from me. But as soon as I went to bed, my thoughts returned, and sleep, after the whole "fall asleep-wake up-repeat" mess, was completely out. And I could not knock myself out either - it required a certain concentration and attitude, of which there was no trace by this time: I was overworked to the extreme - so I went to bed... I swore like a schoolboy, shook my head furiously, turned on the light and paced the bedroom for probably four hours, all the while involuntarily turning the words of the damned blue horse in my head. I had come to nothing concrete, except stupid anger at Luna, at the situation, at Tia, at myself - at everything! - and at coming hysteria, I was finally exhausted and fell asleep, sleeping like a corpse until after noon. Oh, I wish I was just a dream about all this crap, but... Damn it... I don't want to do anything today. I don't want to do anything at all! I want to go home... With a wistful sigh, I looked over the disgustingly sunny and life-affirming landscape one last time, opened the double-leaf door and stepped off the balcony, hiding from the warm sunlight into the silence-filled, empty and indifferent chill of my temporary shelter. Silence... Wait... Are those voices? I stood still with my foot raised for a step and listened, twisting my ears. There's talking in the living room, that's right. Quietly, I could barely hear the voices themselves, but still... I turned to the door, leading out of the bedroom, crunching my neck, which became swollen from the time I've been thinking on the balcony without any moves. Who was the brave one out there, I wondered? And who suddenly wants something from me so much as to sit on my doorstep chatting with someone in my living room and not even try to come into my own room? So-o-o... “Greetings, Nightmare!” As I took a step out of the bedroom, trying to crunch my neck again, I froze in mid-motion - just my eyes darting frantically to the side where the voice was coming from. It’s... That... When?!.. Rarity glanced at Luna briefly, set the bowl down on the table, and jumped gracefully off the pouf to meet me. “Rar?..” A lump stuck in my throat. Left the store, the orders, her beloved sister for someone, who found a way into the castle... For... “And what... What are you?..” “An opportunity to stop by you appeared, darling.” She did a charming, warm, and so familiar smile. “And I just couldn't refuse it!” For me? For me.. “Rar...” A sob broke through my clenched teeth, my eyes stinging treacherously. I hurriedly grabbed the unicorn with my telekinesis and pulled her to me, wrapping my nose in her mane, smelling of violets and perfume. Just don't disappear... “It's not proper for a well-mannered lady to disappear from a place of such embrace!” She replied at my embrace with a good chuckle. “I missed you too. Happy to see you, Nighty.” I clenched my teeth desperately - and frantically clutched the pony to my chest - feeling the tears trace paths across the fur on my cheeks. I'm... I'm going to burst into tears, ay... She's here. Not for something, but for me. So I won't be lonely here. Missed... Me... B... Bastard... I'm about to... I... ... “Oh, I ruined your hair." I sniffed my nose and wiped the moisture from my eyelashes with my wrist with a guilty smile. “Sorry.” “It's worth it for you to look like a monster sometimes, darling." The unicorn smiled and repeated my gesture, and gave me the look of her sapphire eyes, framed by her long, fluffy lashes and glistening with tears. “Is everything that bad?” “Just like me after another training session with a swim in the lake.” “O-oh!.. Nighty, you're kidding, aren't you?..” Eyes of my friend were filled with panic, behind which carefully hid laughter. “It's awful! I’m in the castle! What if I meet His Grace Prince Blueblood? Or... Or Her Highness Princess Celestia herself?!..” “I can smooth it out with my hoof, spitting on it to be sure." I suggested. “It works for me.” “W... What?!.. Don't you even think of that, Nightmare!.. It’s monstrous!.. Did you really?!.. Oh, Celestia!..” The securely held fashionista tried to recoil back. The panic in her eyes was now real. “I'm getting the hang of it now, so it's pretty neat..." I couldn't hold it, so I feigned perplexity on my face. “You're kidding!..” The unhappy mare whined, making her brows like a house. “Nightmare!.. You can't be as sloppy as Applejack! I... Well, I understand that she can be forgiven for a little sloppiness in some situations, but you live in a palace, not a farm!” I was poked accusingly in the chest with a masterfully trimmed and varnished hoof. “And you, as a decent lady, simply should not allow yourself to walk like that!” “It’s okay...” The unicorn's pressure was a bit unnerving. “And anyway, we were talking about your hair, so...” “So!” The milliner stomped her hoof on the carpet and slipped out of my embrace with a stern look, foreshadowing the verdict: “Where’s the spa here?” Jokes have ended, I guess... ... M-m... The touches to the right wing, whose feathers were sensitively and carefully put in order by professional movements of the spa pony, were, surprisingly, even pleasant, though usually other people's hooves on their wings were somehow unnerving. Maybe because I was worked on by a pony with wings as well, who had a good idea what and how - I don't know. I could hardly stop myself from twitching my leg at the unexpected tickle: the second one was working on my hind left hoof. “I’m sorry, mistress.” “It’s okay.” I suppressed the urge to wave it off: immobility was desirable for the procedure. The entire body, where the fur was present, was covered with a thick cream mask, giving a feeling of pleasant heat. Another dozen or dozen and a half minutes more - the girls will have ended their job with wings and hooves - and it can be erased, as they said. I sighed, relaxing on the couch. Ni-i-ice... What great masters Tia has found for herself, ay... Yes, the team that was working on me and Rar was a guest team, from the sun wing of the palace - Luna didn't have her own specialists, except for the usual fetch-and-clean maids and kitchen staff. A couple of hairdressers and stylists were there to fix her mane and tail, but they were thestrals, so I preferred to manage my hair on my own, until the case became very messy... Yes, it makes me nervous, damn it, when the Luna's mice wield barber scissors, sharp as a stiletto, in the uncomfortable proximity of my neck! I had to organize all this, of course, but under my friend's heavy stare, I was able to find and call, and I didn't get any questions in return. My own title and the status, that Luna has given me, were more than weighty arguments. The title, yeah... Damn it, who asked you, dumbass?.. The massage was given to us by a stallion, a bit of a narcissistic type with a funny two-color white-red mane, arranged in a fashionable hairdo, and with heterochromia - the left eye is blue, the right one is green. Rar was flirting with him with all her heart, and he was responding willingly, though not crossing the line, while I was watching and commenting, which the pony ignored where he could, obviously afraid of me... We had a good time, all in all. And then this miracle, having ended with Rarity, came up to me with apprehension and asked if Her Grace is ready?.. I was ready to kick that parrot right to the pool, when I saw eyes of my friend, which began to widen in silent shock... He rat me out in such a way - and rat me out to such a person! To Rarity, who had a great admiration for nobility, titles, and authority in some areas! Rarity was eloquently silent when I was getting massage. As a matter of fact, she is still a little... She was in such an awe, that she couldn't even breathe steadily. “Lady Nightmare, we’ve done it. And you can erase the mask. Let me rub your eyelids...” A sponge went across my face and closed eyes. “Here, now you can open your eyes.” “Thanks.” I squinted briefly until my long-closed eyes got used to the light, and reluctantly scraped myself off the couch. Damn, I don't want to get up, ay... Rarity started to stand up in the same way. “Should I help you to take a bath?” The eldest earthpony in the group asked, whom I mentally nicknamed "Zabava" because of her white and pink coloring, in honor of the ice cream - she was very much in color - when I approached my friend. “I don't think so. We’ll manage ourselves.” I answered, briefly exchanging glances with Rar. “I see." “Zabava” nodded, her face a little bit red, for some reason. “Then call us when you're ready - we'll brush your teeth, apply polish, and do your hair and makeup.” After bowing briefly to me, the spa pony crew left the room in what seemed to me to be a bit of a hurry, leaving me and Rarity alone. The best environment to talk. “Let’s go?” I nodded towards something like either a big hot tub or a small pool. “And, Rar... If you call me “Grace” or make a bow - I’ll be offended.” “As you wish, lady Nightmare.” She answered with a stone expression. “I hope you're joking?” “Of course, darling.” The unicorn sighed, giving me a bit indignant gaze. “You could have told about it, Your Grace.” I rolled my eyes sorrowfully. Having washed off the vanilla-colored gel that has already begun to thicken, under an artificial waterfall - and shivering from the cold after getting rid of this mass that worked as a thermos - I hurriedly climbed into the warm water. Rar, alien to the sense of beauty, did not wait for the release of the warm waterfall and washed the mask in the old way - with a shower. Or she was just warming herself under it - I don't know... Diving for a few seconds - to chase away the cold from my head - I tried to get to the edge in the usual "hands on the edge" position, but quickly gave up the idea and sat down like a pony, leaving only my head sticking out above the water - it was cold, damn it! I’m freezing after all this stuff... I fought and fought back, but I couldn't stop Rarity, so after surrendering - do what you want - I relaxed and tried to enjoy myself. Well, at least my fur will be soft and silky now... I stroked my chest thoughtfully with my wrist. Well... Underwater is the usual. Although the ponies are really cool and plush to the touch. It's even cool to pet myself, and when it comes to Rar, for example... I sighed, dipping my head under the water again. I snorted, wiping my mane off to the side. The last time I cried like that was probably when I was a kid, when I accidentally broke my favorite mug... Although, lately it's not uncommon for me to do that at all. I could have been ashamed of myself, crying is not the right thing to do for an elder... But I was not ashamed of it at all. Even tough grown-ups, who face death every day, cry. Not from pain or fear, of course, but from joy and relief, from the understanding that they were not abandoned and they are needed and important to someone... And the further I got, the more I caught myself in the fact that I was scared of being alone. Not literally, that alone in a room, there, but in general. That everyone who is important to me would turn their back on me and leave. And the rebuttal to this, that it’s a no - I’m not forgotten, not abandoned - it was not even a stone from my soul - it was ... I do not know even. And what will I do with my immortality when my friends start to leave?.. I'll get over it somehow. I've lost before, all at once. When I left myself... I dove in again. No more thinking. I admired the mane, floating in the clear water, and ducked out. Rar was still splashing under the shower. What is she doing in there? She's washing her hair - sure as hell. I should do that, too, by the way. I got to the edge and sat down in the familiar position, with my forelegs on it. Damn, it’s still cold! Okay, I’ll be patient - I’m tired of only one pose, I want to change it... I relaxed - as much as I could, because I wanted to shiver from the cold - and looked around at the local splendor, designed for self-care. There was everything here for spa treatments: a bathhouse, a steam bath, looks like a hammam, and a swimming pool with a beautiful artificial waterfall cascading down into it... They were not stingy with waterfalls - they were small decorative ones, and one flowed into the pool, and there, into the bathroom... I moved to the wall and stuck my head under the stream of warm water. M-m, nice-e... After a bit of lying around, I went back out again. There were also a couple of waterfalls just so I could get under them - one is warm and the second one is cold. The second one would be a fire after the steam bath... Of course, there was a shower. There were tiles on the floor, but serious ones, like a meter across, I guess. And the design is also cool - with an underwater theme: blue and light blue colors, the decor of shells, corals, and colored pebbles, "wavy" glass on the windows, creating the illusion of sunlight, penetrating through the water ... Great. “N-nighty! Is water there w-warm?” Rarity, finally having done with the shower, peeked out from under it and asked in a slightly shaky voice “Yeah. Get in, enough of this shower!” I waved my front leg invitingly. The unicorn, head pressed into her shoulders, hurried across the tile and into the bowl beside me. She ducked and emerged, finding a step for a shorter than alicorn pony, and sat down, just as I had a little earlier, leaving only her head above the surface. She tried - unsuccessfully - to blow away the wet strands of mane sticking to her forehead, and twitched her ear in frustration. She smiled a little shyly when I lit the horn and moved it with magic. “Been washing head?” “Yes. And you should follow suit!” “Where'd I go?” “Who knows, Your Grace...” “Listen, don't sulk, ay? I became aware of this like right now.” “Sorry, Nighty. It’s... Just surprising a bit. You and I communicate in such a way, that sometimes I don't think of you as an alicorn and Nightmare Moon at all." The unicorn sighed. “And don't you dare to, Ice Cream.” I smiled at the friend’s a bit indignant gaze. “I think it should be even forbidden in every case And if I didn't tell you before, it was only for fear of losing that very casualness. So, no “Graces”, okay? Please.” “Only when joking.” Rar smiled and, being silent for a while, suddenly giggled, covering her mouth with a hoof. “You've been looking at the aristocracy as if looking at some tastelessness, and now you have a title yourself!..” “Yeah, I liked this turn as well.” I hummed. “But by the modern laws, having wings and a horn simultaneously is punished by a title. I thought, that you may know about it - I won't believe in you starting a business and not examining the laws.” “I did, of course, but not everything - only about my field of work.” The unicorn shook her head and seemed to try to pull her head back into her shoulders. “Get under the waterfall.” I nodded at the stream of water for the freezing friend. “It's warm and cool.” ... “...I won't put on!” “You have worn this, and you liked it a lot - what has changed, Nightmare?” “You needed help back in the day.” I grumbled under my breath, looking askew at the dress, accurately put on the bed. The third, from that show, was my... no, not my "favorite," of course, but... Well, "most impressive," that is. I reflexively remembered how the fabric was tight around my body, how my footsteps rumbled on the stage, how the crowd roared with delight, literally bathing me in admiration and glee... I hurriedly yanked my foot away, finding, that I was carefully, almost lovingly smoothing out the folds on the silky expensive fabric with my hoof. My cheeks were treacherously warm. “And now you have to have a good time, relax and get pleasured.” “And how it would help me?” I tried to nod towards the apple of our discord with a chuckle. It was... Not convincing. “I think, that someone, darling, is trying to deny the obvious.” Rarity chuckled, arching a brow. “I'm sorry, but even the most rustic redneck could see how much you enjoyed the stares and the attention, that were tied to you. And if we're going to walk through the palace, your dress will be perfect for that; believe me, Nighty, no unassuming guard and no unsophisticated maid will be left untouched! And Prince himself will be all the more impressed and enchanted! His Grace must be an exquisite connoisseur and a great expert on beauty!” The unicorn put her wrist to her forehead demonstratively. “And I'm even willing to sacrifice some of his attention to you, so I don't have to shine alone!..” I sighed. Clung to me like hell, damn! Rar, damn it, you have to know when enough is enough! I already went to the spa, in many ways - for you! It's not that I didn't like it myself at all, but... No, it was not for me anyway! And Ice Cream, in addition to the weekend outfit to the palace for herself, brought those dresses, that she sewed for the show on me as well - "my" somehow does not sound like an eligible word, damn it - all eight! And now she was trying hard to dress me up, damned one, pressing on the "sore" - on other people's admiration, which I happened to help her myself about half an hour ago... I managed to blurt out - in response to an unobtrusive question about Blueblood - that I know him, and we even communicated a little... Prince came to Luna the other day, so he stopped by to pay his respects to the noble, damn me, lady as well. I nodded in response and hoped to part on that, but Prince, as it turned out, brought a gift "for acquaintance": an ultra-modern technological innovation - a fountain pen! A solid one, of representation class, in a solid metal case, with gilding... The ink inside, however, has not been invented yet... Or it have never been in fountain pens?.. A-a, I don't have a clue... But I asked about it, Prince became excited with the idea and somehow, word by word, we started to talk, chatting about all sorts of technology and science more than an hour, and parted satisfied with each other and with an invitation from this fan of progress and technology to give me a tour of the palace museum. Well, anyway - I said without a backward glance that I know Blusy, for which I was immediately attacked by the look of the cat from Shrek and tactful probing to introduce him. I tried to refuse unobtrusively at first, but, unable to find a strong enough argument, I quickly deflated and just suggested that we go to the museum together in the Prince's company. This is where Rarity’s eyes began to burn... Going! Between ponies! Across the castle! To Prince! Like that?! “The first communication with His Grace was when we were sitting on the floor in the corridor, disheveled and dazed." I muttered. “Nothing bad happened to his sense of beauty after that...” My voice gradually died down under the gaze of my friend, which made it crystal clear, that I had said something wrong. “Nightma-a-are!” Rar managed to stand on her haunches and grab her head with her front legs for a few moments. “It’s awful!!! You!.. You have hopelessly ruined your first impression of yourself! His Grace, as a true gentlecolt and simply a well-bred stallion, of course, said nothing to you, but!.. But!.. How could you-u?!” The unicorn moaned, putting a hoof on her face helplessly. “I... I’m...” I mumbled, struggling to straighten my ears, which have reflexively folded under my friend's frantic pressure, trying to pull my thoughts together. “Calm down, Rarity...” The unicorn panted. “It’s still possible to fix everything!” I swallowed involuntarily, meeting the gaze of her dangerously narrowed pupils. “Put on! Immediately!” “Rar, what are you...” “Or I will go to Her Highness Princess Luna and fall at her feet and beg her tearfully to forbid the guards to let you out of your chambers without a dress!” Stepping to me dangerously, the mare stomped her hoof on the carpet, glaring at me with a kind of manic stare. Reflexively, I retreated a few steps and froze, thinking feverishly. The threat wasn't that insignificant. Rarity's ability to burst into tears and affect Luna was something I believed in. And if Luna tell the thestrals to do something, they will do it despite getting mowed down. And if I go off on Luna for it - it'd be a very hard time to make peace with Rarity, if she gets the wind of it... “I’m sorry if I overreacted, Nighty.” The unicorn hit the breaks a bit. “If you want - we can show ourselves to Her Highness Princess Luna. I’m sure she'd like your beauty... And would get jealous. Especially if she sees how others are looking at me!” “It was a forbidden method!” I became indignant at the friend's smile, shaking my head. “Abyss with all of you. Gimme the dress...” “Your dress.” This... This snake emphasized it with her voice. “Mine is waiting in the baggage. And... I’m happy, that you agreed.” I burned her silently with my gaze, and reluctantly lit my horn. The satin fabric slid down my fur in a pleasantly cool wave, a slight tightness settling on my back, a light tickle rolled down my hind legs because of the hem... “Wa-ait... Here. “It’s ready!” Rarity proclaimed as she finished her ritual dance of smoothing out the folds and blowing away the dust around me. “The hair, unfortunately, does not match perfectly, but otherwise ... I like it." The milliner smiled. “And your hooves look even more wonderful with it.” I, curving my fore leg, stared at the beauty, that stylists put on me once more. I was not at all inspired by the idea of painting the hooves, but I wanted them to finish everything quickly, and I was too bored to argue, so I just asked them to do something discreet, if they were going to do it. As a result, my "fingernails" were now covered with a transparent varnish with small glitter, which shimmered on a black background like a miniature night sky in the light. And, honestly - I couldn't say that I didn't like the result, even though I was wary of the night sky and had some unpleasant associations with it. After turning my head and noting that there was no mirror in the living room, I moved towards the bedroom. I still wanted to see the result... Rar followed me. Yeah... The dress, made just for me, with the colors carefully matched to me, looked like I was going to put everyone in awe. And the hooves were really on point... Beautiful, damn! And if with the unfolded wings - head’s spinning!.. “You're a wonderful pony, darling.” I turned around at the slightly mocking voice of my friend, who, after putting aside the paper airplane I have not had time to straighten and clean up, came towards me. “It amazes me how fiercely you are sometimes ready to fight what you like.” “Or maybe it's just a healthy abstinence from temptation?” I mumbled. What do you understand!.. “Healthy abstinence from temptation”, Nighty - it's when you don't eat after six in the evening! As you may noticed, I’m very uncontrolled...” Rar stated with a sigh. “And being beautiful is not a temptation! It’s a duty! Well, if you're not doing hard physical labor on a farm in the hot Sun... But even that's no reason to walk around like that all the time! Besides, you like to shine and attract attention yourself.” Yes, but... Damn, Rar! Fucking hell with you! “And you... Nighty, there was so few of happy moments in your life.” Drooping, the unicorn touched the carpet uncertainly. “And you definitively deserve at least some happiness and joy. If being beautiful and shining are what make you happy, then do not refuse, please.” Damn you, ay!.. “Sorry if I’m poking my nose into not my affairs, Nightmare.” Rar smiled palely, lifting her head. “I just want you to be happy. And it looks like we have to go out soon if we don't want to be late for the meeting, and I'm not dressed yet! Would you help me?” I nodded silently and followed my friend's hurried pace. Damn you... ... The fabric slid against my fur, making me wince for a moment. I arched my wings slightly, letting Rar gently pull the dress off me. The visit was... interesting. On our way out of the night wing, we were unobtrusively approached by an escort of a couple of thestrals. At first these blockheads tried to shoo Rar away from me, but a wing hug and an eloquent look convinced the idiots of their wrongness. I'll tell Luna about their behavior, and I'll make sure they get a kick under their asses! Damned morons... In any case, the walk through the palace was quite inspiring. Nobody dropped their jaws for the sake of decorum and did not applause, but those looks!.. A mixture of fear and admiration, when the next pony comes to a standstill, unable to decide whether to run or admire!.. I did not notice how my initially frowning face broke into a wide smile, and my posture and walk became like that time on the podium... The only thing that spoiled the mood a little was that I got out of my temporary lair "into the ponies", into the main part of the palace. I didn't want to remind Tia of my existence, damn it! And now there would probably be a lot of chatter about me that wouldn't get past her... Alas, when I remembered that, it was too late to change anything, anyway. Prince met us at the museum's entrance. He didn't pay much attention to Rar, though, as he seemed to lose all his initial polite interest once he found out she wasn't a noble. So he took no further attempts to talk or flirt with her, and took her compliments for granted. In the end, the very impressive exhibit in general and one of the newest models of the steam engine in particular received far more attention from the two of us than the obviously somewhat disappointed unicorn. I noticed this and tried to be a little supportive, casually mentioning that the dress, which had impressed Prince, was her work, but it didn't seem to change anything in his eyes. In any case, Blueblood had a good tongue, a competent speech, and a burning passion for the subject at hand, so I enjoyed my visit to the museum as a whole. But the fact, that Rarity was clearly not particularly interested, and that Prince, for whom she had come, was looking at her like a piece of furniture, was a little uncomfortable and awkward. After the museum, I hesitated and accepted Blueblood's offer to dine - and, honestly, it was hard to tell if that was a good thing or a bad thing... Apart from the fact that I had to use all my little knowledge of etiquette to avoid screwing up - I don't know why, but in front of Rar, a screwup in such a case seemed like a disaster-Blueblood, who had made an exclusively positive impression before, showed himself like in the canon: the unicorn looked at the servants, the guards, and most importantly, Rarity, like mold, and behaved accordingly, as if in all seriousness he did not consider anyone who did not have at least a title to be his equal. The aristocratic snob to the core... After the unicorn's attack on one of the servants, who allegedly did something wrong, I completely disliked his company. I'm not without sin myself, but... Shit... Prince, you can look at anyone like a pile of shit, but quietly and in thought! And not at Rar in any case, because this is where the chance of backfire is the most for you! At this point, my friend and I had to bow out as quickly as propriety would allow. We went back in unpleasant silence, occasionally diluted with one-word phrases. It had all started so well, ay... The mood was lightened by the need to meet with Luna, to coordinate the small dining room with her - Prince has tried, but he could not spoil our appetite, and we didn't eat at all... It was worth it to look in the eyes of the blue one, watching me with admiration and a little envy. You could have become like this, Luna - with my help! And now you're nobody, and they do not pay you a tenth of the attention that is directed to me, although it was you who craved it so much!.. I only realized I'd gotten carried away when Luna and Rarity began discussing the possibility of ordering. Damn horse! You don't deserve it! In the end, I left Luna in a sagging mood and an increased desire to eat something, unlike Rar, who was clearly inspired by the idea of a new order, and at such a high level, too. She even tried to reassure me, that Her Highness has been modest, ordering about the same thing what I'm wearing, and not even now - only when they'd time to take the measurements, but it's not much of a reassurance. Catching myself thinking that I definitely needed a new dress, one that Luna wouldn't have, I shook my head in an effort to shake it off and preferred to curl my thoughts and recent memories back to reality. Oh, man, that's exactly the kind of idea I needed, yeah... I glanced thoughtfully at Rar, who, during my stupor, had freed me from the captivity of beauty and was now placing the removed dress on the ponikin, pedantically smoothing out the slightest creases. There was a special run for them, by the way: the idea of simply putting the dresses somewhere or hanging them in a closet had driven the milliner into superstitious terror. So now she was carefully decorating the ponikin with the dress in my bedroom, and an army of seven other ponikins beauties occupied half the living room outside the door... Though I think I have a dressing room here - I don't remember exactly... If I do - I'll put them all there later. “Will you stay until tomorrow?” I finally decided to break the silence, though already guessing the answer. “Alas, Nighty.” The unicorn shook her head sadly and confirmed my unhappy expectations as she straightened another crease she could see and turned around. “I'd very like to, but there’s no way to stay until tomorrow. I'm leaving tonight. I'm so sorry. I'd really like to stay...” “It’s fine. You just... Well, just stop by if an occasion appears. Thanks for coming and...” I hesitated and stared at my own hooves, dimly sparkling with little stars. “Thanks in general. Honestly - you saved me. I don't know how much longer I would have lasted like that...” “Would you tell me?” Rarity looked in my eyes, coming closer quietly. “If I can't help, I can at least listen to you...” “There’s nothing to tell, really...” I waved away and cringed, sitting down on the floor. “Sometimes i just want to die from loneliness and boredom... I’m sitting here alone, there’s no one to talk to. To just chat, you know? Not about the study, or another study, or a third study and not about some problems, but just like that, about everything and nothing! Like with Blueblood. But I don't want to talk with him anymore...” “Yes...” Rarity drooped. “I didn't expect him to be so... arrogant and impudent! What a disgusting way he scolded that old butler! In front of everyone!.. Good ponies don't do that!” “Agree. But the good ones... Well, you're here now. If you leave, there won't be any.” "You are flattering me, darling." The unicorn became embarrassed. “And you're blatantly neglecting the others!” “If only... You've seen the night guards and the thestrals. They act like there’s nothing but enemies and saboteurs around. Cool war dogs, yeah... I can't chat with the teachers. You've seen Bluesy.” The mare couldn't hold a chuckle, hearing such a term. “And you had the opportunity to check him. By the way, how are you after... This?” I looked at my friend with sympathy, making an indefinite gesture. She was literally dreaming of meeting him... “Absolutely and completely disappointed.” Rarity sighed. “I thought he was supposed to be a role model, and... I don't know what I expected. Not that." She frowned irritably, digging her hoof into the floor. “Well, don't worry about it, darling. I just need to... think for a while. Not right now, of course. And by the way, you didn't mention Her Highness Princess Luna on your list.” “Did I have to?” I sniffed. “As the saying goes, 'ponies are divided into good, bad, and Luna,' so let her fall down the hill. And that's pretty much it.” I said with a sigh. “I want to go home, and you don't know how much.” “Nighty.” Rar looked at me with a reproach. “Sorry for this unpopular opinion for you, but Her Highness Princess Luna certainly did not make a negative impression on me. She was very nice, and, by the way, very enthusiastically supported my request to come and provided it as quickly and to the highest standard as possible!” “Now she'll get out of her skin to... Anyway... How did you get here in the first place? And why?” I tried to change the subject, but judging by the sharp stare, my words were noticed and remembered. Damn it. “I missed you.” Unicorn lowered her gaze with a smile. “Pinkie and Sweetie did really want to see you as well. And Scootaloo as well. But... With so ill-timed schedule, Pinkie had gone to visit her family at the stone farm, and taking our sweetie pair into the castle - Apple Bloom would have asked to get along as well... No. I'm afraid the scale of the disaster of their stay in the palace might be overwhelming to Equestria." Rar chuckled and shook her head. “I haven't had the heart to do so. But, of course, all of them - as well as Fluttershy, Applejack, Bulk, Aloe, Lotus, and many others send you a huge friendly greeting and wish you all the best. And a big, big hug!” The unicorn giggled and gently wrapped her legs around my neck, resting her head on my shoulder. I wrapped my wings around her in return with pleasure, feeling the perfect and glorious softness of her and my own fur, and the warmth of my friend's words. “Someone even had time to write to you to give it to me. Remind me if I forget to give you the letters, okay?” “Even so? I’ll surely do!” I smiled. “And by the way, Nightmare, greetings and apologizes were sent by the one you wouldn't believe! Twilight!” “Twi?” “I wouldn't believe it, really... “What happened to her?” “Some letter from Princess Cadence, as I understood it from her story. After that, Twilight took it upon herself to reread all of Her Highness Princess Celestia's letters and compile statistics to analyze them - and found some oddities and discrepancies... I'm not sure exactly; Twilight didn't really want to talk about it and tried to switch to me and Applejack rather than ruin our first slumber party together, but she did whisper to me to tell you her sincere regret for her inappropriate behavior in a letter or in a meeting.” I wonder if... if the nerd had known Tia intimately for a long time, would she have noticed, at Cadence's suggestion and with some hints, the change in her beloved mentor's behavior? In fact, I had, even though I've known Princess for a much shorter period of time. To be honest, Tia, from that conversation we had, was frankly frightening. She seems to be the same, she seems to be trying to keep up the mark, so to speak - and still every now and then something slips through, something not good and, most importantly - uncharacteristic... I heard one of the servants from across the palace gossip, that she held a military review recently. For the first time in this generation... And Luna and Cadence were complaining about Celestia's increased paranoia. That’s because I thought of a Russian roulette analogy with a revolver that was constantly being reloaded - the future is not so bright. “...?” Rarity tried to wriggle out of my stiffened embrace. “Yeah...” I let the unicorn thoughtlessly and shivered, coming back to my senses. “What, sorry?..” “Is everything okay, Nighty?” She repeated her question with unrest in her eyes. I stared at the floor gloomily. A-a, abyss... Let this thing go in hell, ay... “Do you want an honest answer? Why the fuck should be everything good here?.. Things are bad to the point of astonishment...” I waved away wistfully. “Damn it. I have no bloody idea what I'm supposed to do - and that's with every kicking minute working against us! Tia is holding on, but she won't last long - this, let Luna pull me on her horn, is clear from half a glance!” Rarity gave me a look of fierce reproach and blushed. “I haven't even been able to get into the dream world yet, and she might go ripper tomorrow! Or even already, right now! Well, Luna was able to get in, but claims she doesn't have the strength for much. And you know what solution she's proposing?” I poked my hoof towards my friend. “Give her the chance to get into my head! Nice one, yeah? And, like, show me everything and let me feel it, so that, then, I could do it myself!” I looked around for something to drink. “To my uninitiated eye, it doesn't seem like such a disgusting idea... What do you dislike about it so much?” I whipped my tail irritably, finding that both the decanter on the bedside table and the glass, forgotten on the window sill, were sadly empty, I cringed irritably, twitched my ear, and turned my gaze to my stupid friend. "What do you think? I have no idea what she'll do in my head! Luna's a great storyteller: “I won't do anything bad, I will do only good, I’m not Sombra!”.. Damn her!.. I've lost myself before, and..." I waved hopelessly into space, and, looking around dejectedly, wandered to the bed, where I collapsed with my feet tucked under me and my face on the bedspread. I don't know what to do... “Nighty...” Rar, with a sigh, walked over and, dropping to the floor, rested her head on the edge of the bed across from mine, eye to eye. We fell silent. I don't know what my friend was thinking - I was just admiring her sapphire eyes, framed by the long, beautiful lashes, that were now so close. Her breath even slightly disturbed the short fur on the tip of my nose... “You have read Luna's letters.” Rarity stated, lifting her head. I reflexively tried to feign a nod, but when it didn't work - just blinked. “You spared her life then, and now you've been living side by side with her for about a month. Hasn't your attitude towards her improved at all, and hasn't the least bit of trust developed? You don't have to answer me, Nightmare." The unicorn shook her head as much as she could when I parted my lips. “Answer to yourself. Weigh it, think about it, and answer, answer honestly.” Rar, slowing, got up, looking at me from top down. “And then you would be able to make your own decision.” “You understand so much, yeah!..” I twitched with my wings indignantly, getting up. “How come?” “Because I talk to you a lot, and I've talked to Luna, and I've seen you talk to each other, albeit just a bit. And... I won't tell you anything else, Nighty. I'm sorry. I’m afraid you won't accept my arguments, so accept your own. Just... be honest with yourself. Okay?” The uncomfortable silence was broken by the ringing of the bell - they came. The servants, it seems: to report that our under-dinner and over-supper is ready... There was no appetite at all. "Be honest with yourself," you say?.. Maybe I don't want to?...
52. DaydreamsAuthor's Note "Did you wait for it? It's begun! From words to deeds!" Original author's note. 52. Daydreams “And what is this place?” I glanced around the spacious windowless circular room. It, contrary to usual practice, was illuminated not by the usual magic stones, but by oil lamps. Though, apart from them, a large, head-sized, elaborately cut blue crystal under the ceiling, enclosed in a crafty metal frame, helped to fight the darkness with its dim light. It hung from imposing chains and, I bet, exactly in the middle of the room. It was above the center of the pattern on the floor, which was a smooth monolithic stone, as if melted to a liquid state and then frozen again. The strict austerity of the place was broken only by two bunks with cushions, standing at a short distance from each other. The thick, almost safe door closed behind me with an imposing sound, and, with a short clatter of hooves, Luna came to a halt beside me. Strangely enough, there was almost no echo in the empty stone room of considerable height and area. It was like a fly in the mud, creating an unreal sensation. “This is a spell rest, Nightmare. A place for complicated rituals or energy-consuming magical experiments." The alicorn presented softly. “Impressive, isn't it?” I nodded reflexively, busy looking around the room. “At our time, my sister and I could only dream of such a wonderful instrument. Modern magical science has come a long way..." Princess shared her impression with a carefully concealed enthusiasm in her voice. I wish I knew better about magic!.. The hall was literally buzzing with it. The crystal glowed so that even in the visible physical spectrum it phoned with light like a reactor with its Cherenkov radiation*. Radioactive particles move at the speed of light, which exceeds the speed of light propagation in water, which causes a characteristic glow. There were wires of some energy channels in the walls - it is clear now, why oil lamps are hanging here: crystals would burn to the heck or would give some parasitic magic... “I'm already preparing a ritual that will help us with Tia's nightmare.” The blue one brought me out of my admiring contemplation with a nod at the unfinished drawing on the floor. As I looked more closely, I even seemed to notice a certain pattern and that the bunks were where they stood for a reason. "Come in and lie down, please." Luna nodded towards one of them as she headed toward the other. "And why are we here all of a sudden?..” I made an indefinite gesture as I settled on my bed, noting at the same time that Luna's mane had occasional glitter, fluttering and floating lightly in the air. I looked down and found the same thing with my tail. So, yes, there was an attempt to approximate the conditions of the Moon by artificially creating an increased saturation of the magical field... “I thought you should get used to the surroundings in advance." The alicorn was a little embarrassed. Well, may be... “Let’s go?” I settled comfortably on my side, assuming my usual fast-asleep pose. “Let’s go. Am I forming a search link?” “No, I’m. I want some training.” “Okay, Nightmare. Then I’m falling asleep. We’ll meet in the world of dreams.” “Where would we go...” I mumbled, looking at the mare's deep and steady panting with a thoughtful frown. Rar, may your sister dream of a cook's cutie mark and feed you for the rest of your life! You're the reason I'm here now! You're the reason I let Luna in my head! I gnawed my hooves up to my knees. All night until morning I wrote out various events from life and memories in my faithful notebook, until I fell asleep right on the table. Later, after cursing myself out loud in the empty bedroom, I went to the blue one to the slaughter - and return from it in one piece and, it seems, even unharmed... I was so scared, though, of course, memory is memory, and what mental bookmarks I could never find... I was so scared then... I'm still scared now. What has she done to me that I can't see? How much of my mind even belongs to me? How much of it is mine at all? I sighed. Or maybe Rar was right, and I was making up problems and making enemies out of nothing?.. Abyss. On the other hand, Luna, no matter how she took advantage of my consent, did what she promised. She guided me into the dream world with her intervention, which, as she had promised, really helped me capture the right sensations. A very unusual ones: sleep and don't simultaneously... I sighed and rolled onto my side and covered myself with my wing. Luna... The damned blue horse has pedantically followed through on the promises she made to me, stoically tolerated any outbursts, and... Damn it, Rarity! To be honest with myself about Luna, to acknowledge her merits and not have to come up with a second bottom to her words and actions, was almost physically painful. The only thing worse was being aware of my own hypocrisy... But how much more could I lie to myself? One would think I didn't realize that I was wrong sometimes - just chased those thoughts away. And Rar had indirectly and as gently as possible pointed that out to me, and... it hurt. With an annoyed snort, I turned around again, trying to get into a more comfortable position. I glanced at the next bunk, and Luna was snoozing peacefully in her bed, only the white neon glow of the grooves on her horn told me she wasn't sleeping normally. Waiting for me there, by the way... I sighed and lit the horn, forming a search link to find my hated partner in the dream world. A thin, bright white tourniquet shot out at her and quickly melted into the air, revealing that I have succeeded. Now we sleep... “Was it hard to fall asleep?” Luna met me on “the other side” after a dozen of minutes after a short seeking. “Kind of.” I muttered and hurriedly turned to the doors that hovered here and there in this unreal place. They led to other people's dreams. The blue one has managed to tighten her usual visualization during my absence, changing the malleable space with her will. This place is like this: without creating in it some habitual systems of coordinates to themselves it is simply impossible to be here - you'll twist your brain on this N-dimensional stuff... But Luna was aghast at my visualization, unconsciously created as a gigantic circuit board with capacitor buildings and other elements of all shapes and sizes soldered on it. And a radiator tower, lost in the height, on which a fan the size of Ponyville block was spinning, filling the surroundings with a measured hum and rustle. A series of contact tracks loomed between all this splendor along with a variety of monitors. They had pictures of other people's dreams on them, were sticking out at random, in clusters or singly, causing a slight dissonance. And somewhere far above the darkness was cut by the lights of LED strips and other lights, in the light of which the dust danced... After admiring this technocrat's delight, Luna pitifully asked to give her visual support. She quickly turned the technical splendor into a bleak endless night sky everywhere, with bleak doors and bleak cloudy paths between them hanging in the air. It looked pretty much the same now, except that Luna has replaced the night sky with the stars to a sunset, apparently noticing my slightly nervous reaction. Where was that sunset heading, considering that I was watching it even directly below us... Well, there was no need to think about that. “What are we gonna do?” “Practice. Find some bad dream, figure out a nightmare, figure out a way to deal with it. But I won't be around this time, like you asked. Take care of yourself and match your strength, Nightmare. During all the years that the skill of dream-walking has spent in oblivion, nightmares have increased considerably and have become quite dangerous, even for you with your talent. “Yeah, I remember.” I nodded, mentally shrugging off the tired warning. Blue one, the only thing you can do is promising! And meanwhile, in the previous four dives we have not met anyone, figuratively, more dangerous than a mosquito! Stupid parasites, when they realized that they are spotted, often simply fell into a stupor from such an unexpected turn. And after that, to the disapproval of Luna, were simply and trivially exterminated on the spot. My partner insisted that I couldn't kill them all, and that I had to help the ponies cope with them, strengthening my equilibrium and thus becoming immune to the efforts of nightmares... Except, it was not a quick process to persuade the ponies, who were sometimes more afraid of me than of their nightmares, and it didn't take more than a minute for them to just swat the creepy thing. And then the fact that another one might stick to them... Oh, whatever. I shook my head and clattered my hooves on the cloud path. I liked the sound, so there it was. For some reason I was wearing the armor, like in the good old days. Did you miss it?.. With a quiet hum, I adjusted my usual bags and slowed my pace, looking at the doors on either side of me. The doors were different, and often characterized the dreamer in one way or another. It was hard to grasp and comprehend a specific pattern - it just... felt. Soon one caught my eye, and I paused, gazing at this entrance to someone's dream, in which a nightmare was eating away at the owner little by little. The door itself evoked a sense of neglect: old, cracked wood, a handle with traces of rust... After a moment, I pulled it towards me, opening it with the expected creak and rattle, while feeling myself literally sucked into the white mud behind it. A moment later I was standing in an abandoned warehouse. Stacks of crates, dust hanging thickly in the air, cobwebs in the corners, half-darkness barely dispersed by the Moon and the stars, whose light filtered in through holes in the cracked walls and ceiling. Behind a stack someone was crying softly, as if afraid to make any more noise. “Read horrors and then whine about fear...” I mumbled under my breath: the entourage is too similar. I sighed and headed resolutely towards the sound. We'll find this cre-e-epy stalker in this warehouse, process it into mincemeat, and let the pony go back to sleep peacefully. A weeping pegasus lay on the concrete floor near the crates, in the dim light of the moonbeams piercing through the hole in the wall. A maroon mare with a gradient blue-purple mane and tail, getting darker towards the tips, and a "medical" cutie mark with a winged syringe was sobbing quietly, bandaging her right wing. An open medicine bag laid beside. I didn't see any direct threat, and that was even strange: I could feel with my tail that the nightmare was sitting here somewhere... But where? Usually, these individuals are fairly straightforward and "process" ponies in person, and here, at first glance, there was no one... I don't understand. I retreated thoughtfully into the shadows. Where are you hiding, fucking bitch?.. I frowned and began to walk around the perimeter of the warehouse. The thick concrete walls, beaten by time, the same concrete floor, the metal beams in the ceiling... She's from Manehattan, no less. The architecture is like from there... I stopped, having finished my rounds at the starting point. Damn, something is wrong, but what? Well, first of all, no obvious sign of a nightmare: no giant spider there, no evil unicorn trying to kidnap for experiments... Think about it! Finally, it clicked in my head: the warehouse had no way out. All the walls were solid, with no doors! To get here, according to the plot of the dream, the poor mare could only on the wings - which obviously did not work out... I looked out from behind the crates. The pony has already finished bandaging, and, having somehow clipped the bags onto herself, was now just crying quietly, clutching on the dusty, cold concrete floor and awkwardly tucking her bandaged wing. She can't get out. Afraid of being trapped with no way out? Or something else? I chewed my lip thoughtfully. No, the initial conclusion was simple, obvious, understandable, and... superficial. I remembered the door in this dream: old, rickety, creaky, with a rusty handle, which obviously was not often touched... No, no, the trap was just a consequence. Loneliness is what haunts her and what she fears! Lying wounded in some abandoned place and knowing that no one will come to help... Probably, she has the same problems in her life, that she cannot solve herself, but there’s no one to call to give her a hand. Needed to no one... Like I was. I sighed and slowly moved towards the pegasus. Let's tag along, ay... Maybe she wouldn't feel lonely at least in a dream... “Greetings. What has happened? Someone...” I hesitated, stopping half-step, trying to figure out what to do, and, at the same time, feeling a rush of irritation. The pony, awake at the sound of my voice, stiffened in horror as soon as she saw who'd said it. Her pupils, which shrank to the thickness of a needle, stopped at my eyes, the tears welled up, and her ears pressed against her head. “The... The Mare in t-the M-moon... D... Don't...” The utterly frightened pegasus whispered with her lips only, and I felt the space of sleep rapidly collapse. In a moment I was already sitting in the "corridor" of doors, shaking my head slightly dazedly. Nice talk we had, damn it... Nice help!.. And I really wanted to do something, and she... And she was so stupidly scared of me that she woke up. Probably jumped up like a catapult, with her heart pounding in her temples and in a cold sweat... Whatever! She wasn't the first, she wasn't the last. Cowards! I got to my feet, snorting in annoyance. Yeah... The folks in Ponyville knows me, but in the palace - they don't dare show fear, even if they have it. And the rest of Equestria... I moved on in a spoiled mood. I really wanted to help, I got into it, so to speak - and here... Damn it! Maybe I should foist her off to Luna? Let the blue one tackle with this. With loneliness, yeah. I chuckled sadly. The next door that caught my eye didn't look much better. Smooth, glossy pink-painted surfaces, with multicolored glass inlays, a silver handle, and an equally silver little graceful crown in the middle. But only behind the external well-being there were disturbing details. The bottom had hardly noticeable cracks, as if the door was often slammed or kicked, the lock under the handle, locking not from the inside, but from the outside, and most importantly, darkness reigned behind the cheerful colored glass inserts, which made it even a little uncomfortable. I frowned and looked again at the door, which vaguely reminded me of something, and listened to my senses. A nightmare was clearly and unmistakably there. And judging by the door, there was the persistent impression that he's been in there quite regularly. All right. Working! I turned the key that appeared in the keyhole, opened the door with determination, and let the whitish haze behind it pull me into a dream. The dream turned out to be weakly structured - the emphasis was on emotions, and the environment played a secondary role. This is a good thing when it comes to making sense of a situation. My appearance will not be immediately perceived and understood, as it was in the last dream. On the other hand, it would be much harder to convince a sleeper of my reality if I have to. However, why would it be necessary? In such dreams, as a rule, there is only a pony and a nightmare - we let the latter go for meat, and the problem solves itself, at least - for one night. The plot I saw was quite banal. A nightmare in the form of, I suppose, a mother, yelling hysterically in a nasty, shrill voice at a despondent, tear-swallowing pink filly with a two-color purple-and-white mane and tail. I shifted my gaze to the nightmare and smiled unkindly, lighting my horn. This is where your ride ends, idiot. The stupid parasite had taken the form of a dirty-pink mare with purple hair. It was dressed in a lousy blue blouse and some strange beads. It had distorted and hypertrophied the features of a pony by taking its height beyond two meters and its voice by the melodious sound of chalk on a blackboard, and was devouring, completely losing any semblance of caution. It hasn't even detected me yet, defective piece of astral... Wait... I took one more look at the unfortunate little pony, and was surprised to see that it was none other than Diamond Tiara. And the nightmare, as I understand it, is playing as her mother, if I recall the canon correctly... What a meeting... I must think about it. I cut off the shrill yelling that made my teeth ache with a mental order and sat down on the... I should have thought about it: the parquet. Well, let it be parquet, it doesn't matter to me. Shall I talk to the little rascal? How was she, how was her mother - well, it didn't look like a "mommy" - relations, how was she with the three little ones? To knock the nightmare and go on, of course, fast, easy and effective, but it's just like giving a fish, not like giving a fishing rod - a temporary solution. And I could have given zero damns, but I do know this particular pony personally, and she doesn't live that far away, and she's in trouble with my friends... And... I just feel sorry for her, really. Living in your house like amongst enemies? It shouldn't be like that. But... Why should I care? For a moment, I thought of the image of Tiara, already not young, begging in a dumpster. I don't think it would ever come to this. Though, with an upbringing like that... I looked thoughtfully at the now silent scene. The lock on the door came to mind. I wonder if this is a literal image? I hope not... Shit. But what if it would come to this? When I see her like that, I'll remember that I could have done something to stop it from happening, but I spit and walked away... No, fuck that! I don't know how things will turn out, what will happen with Tia and me and all... But since I'm in charge of protecting from nightmares now, and I have to live here with all these ponies, I guess I have to protect the people I live with, right?.. I rose, having made up my mind. The nightmare goes into a furnace, Tiara gets a conversation. Maybe something would work out... I had to figure out how to put myself into a dream so that she would perceive me. The plan was born quickly. I stabilized the dream, added details for better perception by the sleeper. Fortunately, Tiara herself subconsciously helped me a lot to create a familiar environment. As soon as I mentally commanded "bed!", the subconscious of the little earthpony turned the appearing bed into exactly her bed. Soon I was looking at a rich and somewhat tastelessly decorated room instead of an amorphous something. The stupid nightmare was only now beginning to suspect something, but the stage was already set for its sawing out. The spell that had been thrust into the parasite's head has disintegrated it into a cloud of rapidly dissipating energy, and my construct, which Tiara herself had quickly helped to make realistic, has taken its place. It was surprisingly close to the image the nightmare had used, except that it didn't look so hypertrophied and disgusting. After yelling sluggishly at her scared daughter for another minute, the disgruntled " mother" turned to see the door open. Filthy Rich, another image of me, walked into the room. “It’s enough, dear. It’s crossing every line!” He hovered over his "wife" with his nostrils flared menacingly. Tiara picked up the dream. There was awareness in her eyes, and in her mind, the blurred and fragmented emotions and cries, supposedly, have now become a coherent "movie". Which, by the way, the earthpony was quite surprised by. There was something of "it doesn't happen that way!" of hers. “Don't interfere with!..” “Don't interfere with what? Yelling at my daughter and the heiress of my business?!” The stallion roared overwhelmingly, shifting his eyebrows menacingly. “Go into the living room - I'll talk to you later! Go on!” He repeated with pressure to the frozen mare, whose name I couldn't remember, damn it. The mare, muttering something, finally hurried away. It was as if all the air has been sucked out of Tiara, who had been tense as a string the whole time, and she cried again, but this time with relief. “Th... Tha-anks, d-d-a-ad...” “I invited someone.” The stallion smiled blushingly. “A well-known model in Ponyville lately. She wanted to talk to you. Including about your mom. Here, take a look...” I entered the room of the tense filly again, but now in flesh. “...Nightmare Moon. You would talk a bit, wouldn't you?” He addressed to me. “And I must... Talk to my wife about her behavior now.” “Of course, Filthy.” I nodded with readiness, amping the dream's stability along the way once again - just in case. “It will be a pleasure to get acquainted with your daughter.” The construct, with a relieved nod, slipped out the door and ceased to exist, leaving us alone with Diamond Tiara. Now we could try and talk. And if an opportunity appears, I can pull her into a fully conscious dream, instead of the way she was now, where she took everything as reality. “Don't get along with your parents?” I asked in a sympathetic voice, while gradually reducing myself to the size of an ordinary pony, so as not to be perceived as too threatening. “W... Why a-are you here?” The filly muttered nervously swallowing and retreating a couple of steps. She was unconsciously trying to throw me out of the dream - understandably, to no avail. “You know that I’m Scootaloo's friend, don't you? I decided to stop by when I got the wind, that you bully her because of the problem at home.” The questions "how?" and "where from?" are not supposed to be there right now, because critical thinking doesn't work. And if they do, it means that she is already quite here and understands that all around is a dream. “I bully her because she's poor! And she studies worse than I do! And she can't fly!” Tiara hummed arrogantly. How to damn crack you?.. “Why offend those who are poorer or have poorer grades? Didn't Princess Celestia teach all ponies to respect and appreciate each other regardless of that?” I don't know if she actually taught everyone and if it's actually what she taught... But Tia has an almost unshakable authority in society, and among the kids, as a rule, it's absolute. “Because mom says so! And Princess Celestia doesn't see the real life from her throne!” I wonder if there's an article for dissidence? Otherwise, the mother could be stupidly imprisoned and deprived of her parental rights - isn't that a solution?.. “And you think it's right?” “Yes! A real noble lady should behave like that!” Damn. We need to wake her up and talk to her properly. She's practically talking in slogans, and she'll forget half of it when she wakes up. That's not it... The question is, how to do it? In theory, you could first detail the dream as much as possible, assuring her that it is real, and then sharply translate it into unprecedented wildness. It might work on dissonance. Or vice versa, through inconsistencies of some kind? Hm-m... Thinking shortly, I created clocks behind me on a wall, trying to think ‘em out with all the details - more detailed objects against less detailed ones, according to Luna, should attract more attention... When I turned around to assess the result, I involuntarily shuddered. Instead of the image I was trying to make, my mind subconsciously chose a different one. These clocks have been hanging in our apartment since I was born, a gift from my grandmother, I think... I swallowed a lump in my throat and repainted them to match the color of the room and replaced the Arabic numerals with Equine numerals. That would do. I won't be able to provide more detailed ones, anyway... It worked. The little pony immediately inadvertently glanced at the clocks, automatically fixing the time. And now we stop it in place, leaving a ticking sound that tells us it's going. After a swift thought, I also sketched a scene behind the previously tightly curtained window, sticking a train station in there and running an endless train. And that is instead of the high fence of their mansion. That’s all. All that was left to do was talk. “I personally know Princess Celestia and many other aristocrats - and they don't allow themselves such behavior.” Let’s pretend I don't know Bluesy. “Insulting someone is inadmissible for them, because it means losing their dignity!..” I've been going back and forth like that for about twenty minutes - if there's any point in talking about time in this place. Tiara has already thrown a couple of glances at the clock, but so far, apparently, she suspected nothing. No, that's not it. Change of plan. The train disappeared out the window. Now there was a street with bustling passersby and, most importantly, open stores with full windows. I opened the curtains, and moved Tiara to the bed so she could at least catch a glimpse of what was going on outside the window. Ye-ep... The shop windows will be empty, the flow of passersby will change, it will rain intermittently, and the clocks, ticking convincingly, will continue to stand. Or, even better, keep going, but very slowly. With a satisfied nod, I continued the conversation. Man, I wish she would hurry up already!.. I'm sick of it... Finally, after another twenty minutes, Tiara's muzzle turned anxious as she looked first at the clocks and then out the window. Bingo. The debit and credit were no longer adding up. I thought about it briefly and trimmed the scene outside the window so that it only looked normal from Tiara's seat. I could see passersby disappearing and appearing in the air, in a place where the road seemed to be clipped by a laser into a murky void. Diamond Tiara, meanwhile, grew tenser with each phrase and glanced more frequently at the clocks. “Mistress Nightmare... When will my father come?” She finally broke. “In five minutes.” I answered calmly. The number of glances at the clocks doubled. It began to rain outside. Drops drummed on the glass, leaving trails on it. The conversation continued, shifting to the subject of school. I was stupidly asking about all the subjects and asking anything I could just to stall for time. Tiara was already acting like she was on pins and needles. “When my father will come?” She finally repeated with concern and pressure, interrupting me mid-word. “In five minutes.” I waved with a wing phlegmatically, creating sleep stabilization for the third time at the same time. The rain outside had stopped, and the sun was shining. “You've already said that, and five minutes have already passed!” The pony rose up, poking her hoof behind my back with a reproach towards the clocks. “Even the rain has stopped!” I looked back at the clocks in surprise, simultaneously turning the hand back five minutes and starting the rain again. “It’s bad to lie, little lady!” I shook my head with a reproach. “Five minutes haven't passed yet, and, as I can see, even the rain hasn't ended as well. Don't digress, please. You said, that the mountain slope...” “But... How...” The pony mumbled perplexedly, laying back her ears and turning gaze back and forth between the clocks and the window. “I... I’ll check my daddy, okay?” She jumped off her bed and moved towards the door defiantly. “Filthy is busy and asked to not disturb him.” The earthpony pushed the door, but it, with a sudden clang of the bolt, remained closed. “How?.. Has he locked?..” Tiara mumbled pitifully, looking at me with a bit of a panicking gaze. “Of course he hasn't. He’ll come back in five minutes.” I answered monotonically and out of turn. The rain has ended. “Hey, wh... what's going on h-here?” The filly looked around with a haunted gaze and swallowed brokenly. It works, ay! She’ll turn on soon. “Just talking.” I smiled. “You was talking about geography...” “I’m not...” Tiara looked out the window, then at the clocks, then again out the window. She turned white in the face, pressing her ears against her head in fear. The time was the same. It wasn't raining. “I’m n-not...” She hopped onto the edge of the bed on shaky legs. And almost fell off, seeing the landscape outside the window from a more accessible angle, with passersby disappearing and emerging out of nowhere. The same ones mechanically moving back and forth. “What?!.. How?!..” Pony looked at me - and started to fall back on the bed in fear. “No-no-no, o Celestia!.. The Mare in the Moon is!.. It’s a dream, it’s just a dream, I’m sleeping...” Bingo. Nodding approvingly and smiling with lips only, I "collapsed" the street and the ground with the walls of the room and furniture, leaving only the bed, on which Tiara sat, of all the familiar furnishings. Then I built castle in a Gothic pointed-triangular gloomy style behind my back, that had been created in the dreams. “You're absolutely right, little pony, it's a dream. Welcome to my realm - and sorry for this not-so-pleasant introduction.” The dream went in waves, trying to collapse, but the preparation did its job, and I managed not to let my guest wake up, leaving her in a fully conscious dream. “W-what have you done?!” The mare cried out trembling, looking around fearfully at the completely changed situation. “I want to go home!..” “Let you realize yourself in your dreams, Tiara. Again, I'm sorry about the methods - I just don't know any other way yet. Don't be afraid. You'll wake up in your bed soon, but I'd like to talk first. Do you mind?” “I d-don't want to talk!” The little frightened pony exclaimed, and, realizing the said, squinted her eyes, laying back the ears. “Mommy!..” I know how to make friends... I scared the hell out of her, instead of... Oh, shit... I looked thoughtfully at the castle and blew it away, replacing its surroundings with a picturesque green clearing with bright sunshine and butterflies, to which I moved my trembling companion from the disappearing bed. I remembered the aroma of meadow herbs and wildflowers, the playful touch of grass, tickling the pads of my feet under my hooves, the wind ruffling my fur and feathers, fluttering my mane... I shuddered, erased the raven, which materialized inadvertently under the memory, chanting on a tree. Not today, pop star, damn it!.. The glade was a sight to behold. I nodded in satisfaction and laid down on the grass next to Tiara, who was watching it all warily, and put my wing around her, earning a very indignant look. “D-don't even try, I won't forgive you no matter what!” The mare tried to look independent, going over her fear. “You've had a nightmare, little pony. Fighting them is my job in some sort... How do you feel?” “I’m fine.” The pony grumbled under her breath. “And now let me go home if you don't want to quarrel with my daddy! And it's better to be friends with him!” “I think Filthy would understand me.” I smiled with my lips only. “After all - I just want to help you.” “Why would you? You rub shoulders with these blank flanks and help them, don't you?” I was looked at by an arrogant and a bit frightened gaze. No, her arrogance and this "I'm a Queen, and all the plebs won't dare touch me!" is even slightly admirable in its maximalism. But it would be sad and difficult to go through life with that attitude. How can I make her understand better?.. “The blank flank is a peculiarity that will pass with time." I rose, and at the same time regained my normal height, and now hovered over Diamond Tiara. “But a ruined reputation stays for a very long time, if not forever.” “Ruined like yours?” This immortal cockroach hummed, getting on her feet as well. Getting cocky - and she's doing that for absolute nothing. “Ruined like yours, Diamond. I am not abandoned by my friends and respected by others.” “What does reputation have to do with it at all?” Tiara stomped her foot with an angry scowl. “You did this! On purpose! And it's because of you now!.. I’m now!..” Sighing, she sat down where she stood, hastening to look away from me. “They’re like that because of you! How could this Silver name me a coward before everyone?! Idiot!” The filly exclaimed with a lost voice. “I wasn't frightened, I just went to find miss Cheerilee!.. Because!.. Because...” Tiara froze tensely, overcoming her tears. I pursed my lips with a frown. It was something like I wanted... Here's the result. Yes, I had to put them down somehow, to make them forget to bully anyone, to teach them a lesson, but... To teach them a lesson, yes. Not to break them up and leave them to sort themselves out. Well... I’ll try. Like Luna said, yeah... “Why do you care so much?” I asked with exaggerated indifference. “Some insignificant paupers who exist only to show them their place are treating you badly - wow, that's a catastrophe.” “I don't even have anyone to play with now!” The pony screamed angrily and sobbed. “And... And my mom also scolds me for allowing to not respect me...” “But you're rich. How much would you pay to have Silver Spoon as your friend again?” “I d-don't know...” Diamond dashed away the tears, sobbing. “W-well... A box with toys. Maybe even two, if that wouldn't be enough! And I'd buy ice cream...” “But if in money?” “E-e... Plenty of, I guess?.. But I won't pay you for sure!” The mare looked at me with a frown, clearly suspicious of something. “Why would I need it.” I chuckled sadly. “I live in a palace, I eat from the gold, I can at any moment tear off the first guard I see and order him to bring me something, I can buy any thing. I can go to the reigning Princess's chambers in the middle of the night and wake her up if I want to, after all.” “And... What then?..” The pony was impressed. “Then nothing.” I chuckled. I haven't tried it, but I doubt Luna would even scold me for it. The fact that we’re talking about her, not everyone-admired Tia, who has the same title, is left behind my teeth. “She'd mumble under her breath, that I’m interrupting her sleep. But you know what? I don't really need all that. The money, the expensive crockery, the ability to have the guards run for tea... In fact, my dream right now, in fact, is to leave everything behind and go back to Rarity's house. To live in two rooms with the three of us, to cook and clean the house by myself... Because even the whole of Canterlot isn't worth as much to me as my best friend. I'm happy with her, but I'm not happy at the palace. And that's all that matters.” “You're saying like money are worthless at all!” Tiara sniffed distrustfully. “My dad doesn't earn them just because!” “Money is something that can make life easier and, sometimes, a little more versatile. But it's not what makes us happy.” “Not true!” “Why? You're rich, you live in a big mansion with personal servants, and Scootaloo lives in some old house in the middle of nowhere." I don't know if I guessed or not, but it's hardly different, is it? “Would you say she's unhappy?” “Well... I wouldn't?” The earthpony bent her brows thoughtfully. “But you help her, I know!” “Okay. I don't help Apple Bloom, and she surely doesn't live wealthy. And she hasn't got a cutie mark, and wears a usual bow instead of a crown... Is she unhappy?” Tiara, slowing a bit, shook her head unwillingly. “And that's because she's not alone. And because she treats others kindly and is always ready to help someone in need, she won't lose her friends and will probably find new ones.” The filly, sullenly digging the ground with her hoof, was silent. “Make peace with Silver Spoon, with...” “Why would I?! It’s not my fault, that she!..” “But didn't you run away when she got a problem? If she ran away like that, what would you think?” “Nothing! I don't know!” The mare mumbled under her breath, fading out. “Apologize, offer some sweats. Make everything clear and why did it happen like that.” “Why would she need it anyway?..” Tiara sighed wistfully, digging the ground with her hoof again. “She's already started hanging out with Sweetie, that blank flank one...” “What makes you so sure an empty flank is a bad thing, Diamond? Anything could show up on it. Even a Sun like Princess Celestia's. When Sweetie replaces her and becomes an alicorn, you'll be reminded of old grudges. What will you do?” “You're making this up! It can't be like that!” The earthpony rose up. “It’s an example. Apple Bloom, for instance, will get an apple with gears, become interested in mechanization. She will become the largest and richest producer of apples and apple products. Plants in several cities, huge plantations, an office in the capital, a ministerial position... And then you come to her for some kind of permission - what will she say?” “Okay, I got it...” Tiara grumbled gloomily, being in heavy thoughts for some time. “It’s better to not touch the blank flanks.” “And why should anyone be "touched" at all? So they can whisper behind your back about how wicked and ill-mannered you are, and that it's better not to be friends with you? You'll end up lonely again, like you are now. You don't like it, do you?” “I don't.” “You see it now. So think about what you need to do to make sure this doesn't happen again, and make up with Spoon.” “And with those as well?” “You're an adult - choose yourself.” I smiled. “But if you make friends with the crusaders, you can threaten your mother that you're going to go live with Apple Bloom...” After talking to Diamond Tiara for a few more minutes and adding the crusaders and Silver Spoon on the lawn, urging our crown Princess to swing together on the swings and play hide-and-seek, I said goodbye and quietly disappeared from sleep, confident, that our conversation would not be forgotten by the filly. I met Luna at the "beginning of the coordinates" quite exhausted, but, for some reason, happy and light-hearted. It's a pity it won't work with Tia like it did with Tiara - she doesn't even seem to trust her sister about me, let alone me... Maybe it's a good thing I don't have to maneuver through a verbal battle with such a difficult opponent. I’m fed up with the small one already, and persuading an ancient alicorn... Waking up from my thoughts, I told the blue one in a few words about my experience. Then, giving her the thought image of a shy, lonely pegasus from the warehouse, I created a small, completely dark space for myself as a dream, in which I passed out as soon as I was able to get comfortable. That’s all... *** I glided easily along the contact track of the giant board, enjoying the flicker of the LED highlighting and the measured hum of the coolers, and occasionally slowing down at an interested monitor to catch a glimpse of someone's dream that reigned on the other side of the screen. They, too, like the doors, were all different: huge CRT "TVs" with convex screens, compact notebook LCDs, plasma panels with a couple of meters of diagonal. Somewhere there was a clear, detailed and consistent picture, and somewhere there were chaotic abstractions that replaced each other... All of them, however, did not distract me for long. Today I was looking for one particular dream, having purposely come into this world when she was definitely asleep. The contact track wiggled around a ring wrapped in copper wire, passed an enormous battery tab wedged horizontally between the towers and dived to a connector, from which another board grew far up into the sky. A second of disorientation, and I was already gliding up the perpendicular surface, towards the lights shining far into the darkness. Finally, I froze in front of the monitor I was looking for. My gut was right: the dream of someone I knew in reality, someone with whom I've gone to the dream world more than once, couldn't be so easily lost from me here. Especially since she was now a guest in this world, sleeping and dreaming. Luna. I swept my gaze over the monitor itself, but immediately shifted my attention to what it was showing. I guess that's what I was partly even afraid to see... The gray wastes of the Moon, the lone pony scurrying about in terror and panic and incomprehension. And the endless abyss watching her from above with indifferent disdain through its countless starry eyes. A plot familiar to the details. These nightmares are seen by the one, that led to it without doubt or regret. She cannot, must not regret it now! She didn't care - and shouldn't care!.. Gritting my teeth, I lowered my gaze. She could not truly regret it! She had been preparing for more than a dozen years, she wanted it to end like this! She can't repent! And I don't want to forgive her! I took a step back and looked at the damn monitor with hatred. "Be honest with yourself”, huh, Rarity? I wish they'd hire you to sew all sorts of BDSM! And test you on yourself! I'll paint you then, a big print!.. Damned horse... I whipped myself with my tail in annoyance and lit the horn. I was about to leave the dream world, but a changing image on the monitor caught my attention, making me hesitate and extinguish it. The blue one, now wrapped in rigid shackles with a collar and an anti-magic limiter on her horn, was sitting in a cage in some dungeon. She was trying to explain something to Tia as she strode along the bars. After listening for a few seconds, the latter, narrowing her eyes angrily, dropped the phrase and, under her sister's helpless gaze, smothered both torches shining in the dark with a shield, then simply walked away. She left her, shackled and helpless, in the dungeon in complete darkness and alone. Unwillingly interested in the dream scene, I leaned closer, leaning against the top edge of the monitor... and it jerked me inside, treacherously turning the picture into a murky haze. Damn it!.. Okay, it wouldn't be that hard to get out... The damp, cold air of the dungeon hit my sense of smell, and I cursed quietly, finding myself in total darkness at once. The door slammed shut with a clang in the distance, and a scream of horror and despair rippled through the gloomy, dark corridors, making me shudder. Luna, damn you... The dream, however, contrary to all expectations, did not disintegrate, letting the pony into reality, waking up jumping to the accompaniment of his own scream and in a cold sweat, but only blinked again, switching to a new plot. Something about the Moon again... I grimaced and squeamishly shook my hooves off the white-gray sand. I looked around, ignoring as much as possible the scene of a fight between two mares. It was Luna and, interestingly enough, my reflection in the mirror, except that it strongly resembled a teenager. “Daughter”, yeah?.. Hey! I don't give a shit! After spending a few more minutes, I was finally able to distinguish what I was looking for - Luna, who was a powerless bystander in these plots, able only to see what was happening, but unable to influence anything. That's why she didn't jump up, because it was like a dream-remembrance... The translucent alicorn was silently watching what was happening and pouring out tears, not paying attention to anything else. I turned away hastily. I don't need your remorse, blue one! I don't want anything from you at all! So, where's the astral bastard that's spinning this whole movie? I covered my eyes and concentrated on the sensations. It’s encrypting, damn it! It can be either one of the characters or some inconspicuous element of the decor. Luna, who has regained the ability to enter the world of dreams, would not be touched by any weakling... Bastard! If it were my dream, I would've figured the beast out in no time, as it was then - one awareness and desire were enough, in fact! But it's Luna's dream, and she's strong and... like... she's worked on its stability? I stared at Luna, snorting in bewilderment. She cannot think this is a dream! Yeah, its help is not that big, especially when what happens is the black days of your own memory, but you can fight it, I've seen it. At the same time, the nightmare doesn't really get away from you... Could Luna be watching all of this... on purpose? Voluntarily? I stared at the translucent alicorn in confusion. At the same time, I remembered the moment from the canon where the blue one directly ordered the nightmare to torture her... If so, is this horse even normal? Does she want to get mental problems? Not that I feel sorry for her, of course... Maybe she wants to fatten our potential adversary? And if it's the same nightmare that's eating Tia, then it's not potential, it's direct and active! We're in enough trouble, you headless fool! I sighed grimly and lit my horn. I think I know where the local director is... The beam hit Luna. The "translucency" jerked sharply away from her, turning into a black and purple blob and, blinking, disappeared from the dream. Luna shuddered, glanced at me with a meaningful look, and then hurriedly stared at the floor, pressing her ears guiltily. I threw a frown at her and strode across the parquet. There was a lot to talk to her about. But I didn't want to. I walked back the way I'd come, and then I looked at the continuing scene for some reason... and froze, staring at something very familiar. Luna and Rarity were sitting peacefully at the table in the living room of my present lair, talking quietly and exchanging smiles as they drank tea. The door to the bedroom swung open, and my figure appeared on the threshold. I was in a stupor, and I threw myself toward her, hugging her to the breaking point of her bones... tears on my friend's shoulder for not forgetting and not abandoning her. I turned my gaze to the blue one at the table, and I shuddered at the ocean of pain in her eyes. She slipped quietly from the table and ran out of the living room, pressing a wing to her face as if trying to stop the tears, leaving me and Rar alone. “You once loved me as much as you love her.” I shuddered at the sudden sound of a low, cracked voice next to me. “And I indifferently and ruthlessly destroyed that feeling. I betrayed and abandoned you.” “Can you say something up to date?” I asked rudely, more because I didn't know what to say at all. The scene ended, frozen and faded. Luna, with her eyes closed, wiped it away, leaving us standing on a cloud in the middle of a sunset sky. I silently nibbled at the cloud with my shoe, quelling the Luna's will a little. The shoe slammed into the cloud with a metallic clang, causing a sheaf of sparks. Luna shuddered. "Go, Nightmare. Leave me alone with my nightmares. With what I most deserve by my disgusting deeds. Go, please.” If you want the show to go on, blue one, then I'll make sure it doesn't! It's bad for your health and stuff... “You ain't getting it, Luna. We have enough fattening nightmares without your help!” In a hover of uncertain silence, I tried again to kick at the cloud. A reproachful look from Luna and a small surge of her will, and instead of hitting it with sparks, my foot only silently dug through a thin layer of snow. I swept the alicorn with a frown, forcing her to droop awkwardly. Dead horse meat. I concentrated and pressed, forcing the world of sleep to bend beneath my will. Now we were standing on a small island, floating in some kind of blue-pink-purple astral. Around it hung other islands, ruins of a castle with a picturesque trail of individual stones and large fragments of walls and towers hanging in the strange space, a piece of land with a forest, a piece of desert, sand from which flowed into the void like a waterfall, the fragments of some crystal... Luna shuddered, glancing around this phantasmagorical landscape. I smirked and sent a wave of reinforcement through it. No changes here - I like it as it is. “Nightmare...” Finally, the blue one spoke up, raising her thoughtful gaze to the giant purple vortex above our heads. It looked like a black hole or a tornado, glittering with frequent lightning. “If you don't want to amplify the nightmares - and that's right, really - you could..." The alicorn hesitated, staring at the ground. “I could” what?” “Gift me nightmares yourself.” She looked up at me with defiance, slowing. Nice phrase! “Gift me”!.. “Recompense me for everything here. Quench your thirst for vengeance and let m...” I rolled my jaw and made Luna freeze with my will. “I’m not you, Luna, I don't revel in others’ misery! If you need an executioner, look for him in a mirror! But I promise you, and do you know what? In all your dreams there will be a complete idyll for a long time to come!” I poked my shoe in the chest of the frowning alicorn. You don't know what and to whom you're offering, you suicidal idiot. I could shove you into a nightmare, I could, but what would be left of you if I don't hold my composure? Make you torture Tia, eat Cadence... “Don't provoke me, Luna. You don't know what terror I can bring to you. Sleep.” Leaving the blue one alone, I slipped out of the dream, and then out of the dream world. I wiggled in the darkness on the bed, lit the horn, found one of the fallen pillows on the floor. I glanced at the clocks: four and a penny. I have to sleep. Sleep and have a good sleep... I feel that the dream world is already quite accessible to me - so there's no point in delaying. Tomorrow or the day after, I think I'll go into Tia's dream, looking for the beast that's keeping her frightened - and it’ll regret it when I find it. But that’s later. For now it would be nice to get some sleep...
53. 'Till The LastAuthor's Note "A special task is the one after which you'll be given an order. But it will be given to your family." Original author's note. The "Why did I think I was clutching..." sentence is where English does not represent all picture. It was said by a female - my theory that it's Nightmare - judging by the ending of the word. Auf Wiedersehen - German words for "Goodbye". A lot of German vocabulary was borrowed during 1941-1945. I'll let you to guess what event caused this to happen... 53. 'Till The Last “Everything is ready. When you enter the world of dreams, I will start and focus the ritual, and it will feed you with energy for some time. Find the dream of my sister. Hopefully, she's having a nightmare right now, and you can find someone who supports it.” I nodded silently in response, made myself comfortable on the bunk, and closed my eyes. Luna is saying that for, I think, the third time this evening and night because of the nervousness. I was shaking as well, if to be honest... The opponent was old and strong, and surprisingly familiar: I had chased that beast out of my dreams, and it ate Luna, too... Nice feeding this damn thing has got - three damned alicorns! But I was able to find him and chase it away, which is not surprising: why should it risk when it can eat off Tia and Luna, who voluntarily fed it? What idiot she is... One way or another, the fucking "director" is going to end his career tonight... The plan was simple: find Celestia's dream, the nightmare in it, attack, making the cattle run and hide, as was their custom. Then catch up and impose the fight in the "neutral" space of the dream world, so as not to get Tia involved. I sighed. Even though it seemed that we have done everything to prepare, it was now the uncertainty and the feeling of my own unpreparedness that was gnawing at me. As usual before a serious undertaking, anyway. I chuckled. Stop stalling. Let’s rock and roll. At last I would solve the problems I have created for myself and for others. *** A purple fog filled everything. The shaky, fickle world swam even more strongly before my eyes. An... Understanding came. Why am I doing this? Is it my choice? I... I can do anything, anything at all, but instead of doing something really necessary, useful, interesting I do... what? I dance as Luna says, chasing the nightmares that maybe were created by her? But I can't see the power, which is just a foot away! Bigger than Celestia's! Bigger than Celestia's, Luna's and Cadence's combined! If... I would travel across the worlds! I can make a human body, get back to the motherland, find my siblings! I would remember! Remember everything! Why? Everything that was there is over. I left. And those, who were with me, said goodbye to me. Forever. It means it's time to live here. Live in comfort! Create a human body right here... Usual. Wieldy. Without these uncountable legs! With hands and fingers, which sometimes are quite needed. Even though mainly mental-wise... But why? Why do I need it here, in Equestria? I can make it even better! Create a body of a stallion! It would be more understandable and even more habitual. To trample on the dilemma that pops into my head with every visit to the shower! To run after Tia. Or Rarity. To run after Tia and Rarity! To live life to the fullest, without the constant dilemmas, the doubts, the discomfort! Without the fear of a close relationship! And without the equalogists! Yes, it would be so much better... nicer. More comfortable. No more dread of the thought of intimacy. Hm, it's... Maybe, really?.. But the cost?.. Phew, gibberish. I can leave my own alone, but why should I care about the others? But again... No. I should think... I... I don't need to dwell on it. Nightmare had been so eager to be acknowledged and admired... And I could do what I could to be admired! Like Tia! More than Tia! Build a castle higher than the Canterlot mountain! To bathe in the glory and admiration! No, it's... But why should I care?.. No, impossible!.. ... I squeezed my temples with my hands. The chaos of thoughts and images was overwhelming and maddening. I licked my lips - something warm and salty came into my mouth. ... The others... And my own?.. I can leave them alone. On the contrary! They can be protected so that no one will touch them at all! With a patron so powerful, no one would dare threaten them! I can create an army out of nothing! Golems, machines, undead - whatever you want! I can build a real fortress with traps, enchanted walls, and protective artifacts that would kill even Discord, Tirek, and Sombra put together! My own would be perfectly safe! I guess so... And a stallion body, too! As a nice addition! It could even be anthropomorphic! I could give everyone an anthropomorphic body! Why not?.. And also!.. No. No, damn it, I can't! What am I thinking about?.. About the... ... I gritted my teeth, clenching my head as it tried to burst. Shit, it hu-urts!.. I swallowed blood. ... Why did I think I was clutching my head with some "hands"?.. ... Protect-protect-protect... They know me. Nightmare, what's going on? What are you doing? They'll understand. They'll feel it. And can I really protect them? The power, the might, the adoration, the admiration... It's never enough. In the pursuit of more, I... I'll be a threat to them myself. N-no... I don't want that... I don't want that. I don't want to! I will be a threat to everyone. I’ll protect no one. I will live off their fear. My own. Others. Any! All of them! Immerse myself in nightmare and feed, revel in their terror! Enjoying every sip, feeling my own power grow! NO!... No... ... The pain eased, as if on second thought, it came again. ... Why it should be ponies? There are changelings, griffons... Who among my own people would judge? Who would even know? But they will all be safe! And I will be in a pleasant and comfortable body, surrounded by... They will not! The power will intoxicate. First the others. Then the ponies. Then my own. They will notice. They will understand. They'll beg for mercy... No! I don't want to! I can't! ... I wiped the blood off my face with my wrist, smeared more on my fur, and struggled to get my trembling legs under me to try to get up. ... No way. I can't do this. I'm not going to live... To exist like a parasite, oppressing and driving others to despair for my own sake. A nightmare is an intangible entity, it needs a lot of power to break into the real world and stay there, but I am a creature of the real world... To immerse the world in nightmares in dreams in order to become stronger in reality... And to turn into a monster that would be unmatched? Including in the eyes of "my own" when they find out? And then I’ll get them, convincing myself that a little won't hurt. And then, gradually ... No. The past stays in the past! Here, in the present, I can achieve anything on my own! I'll build myself a reputation! I'll build my own castle! And I can protect my pony by myself - that's what I'm doing now! The human body... What's in it for me now? It can't fly, and... And I’m not used to it a little now... And the sex... Phew... And you're offering me to betray everyone and everything at once, be like Luna just for... Just for the penis only?.. I burst out laughing hysterically, feeling my head throbbing and my throat burning, but unable to stop. D-damn... Are you fucking seriously?.. Yes, I am afraid and ashamed of my new sex and not eager to get used to it and adapt to it. But not so much as to turn into a drowning in terror and despair and reveling in his power inadequate monster, who has fallen to the dark side in the fullest and worst sense of the expression! No. I stopped laughing and straightened up on my trembling legs, involuntarily assuming a precise, etiquette pose. I blinked, struggling to focus the persistent violet blurring in front of my eyes and feeling the drying tears pulling at the corners of my eyes. I spit blood. I can do almost all of this on my own. Or with the help of friends, if my own abilities are not enough. Except maybe the problem with my sex, but it's obviously not worth the sacrifice. And you, piece of astral, are a fabulous idiot, if that's all you've managed to come up with as suggestions. The thick, opaque purple fog, which clearly outlined a grotesque figure, swirled back in front of me. The strong absorb to make them stronger. The weak are absorbed to make the strong stronger. By refusing to be strong, you are weak. You will perish. The understanding is gone. “It’s YOU who are going to die, bitch!” I grinned angrily, feeling a wave of anger rising from within me, making the blood run faster through my veins, directed at this creature of horror. “I remember you got beaten up once, and then you tried to run! But there's nowhere for you to go, fucker, and I'll finally finish what I started! And the fact that you've been chewing on Tia and Luna all these weeks isn't going to help you, you cloud of semi-intelligent ectoplasm! Dreams are my realm!!!” The magic blew into the horn, trying to bend it to the ground and boil the reactor inside with its frenzied fury. Auf Wiedersehen, bitch!.. ... I've made a mistake. Fuck. The gray corridor of an old Soviet bunker was strewn with a stream of black blotches, forcing me to pull back around the corner and press myself into the cold, bare concrete wall. The threat has passed, but I was in no hurry to jump up and rush somewhere, taking the crumbs of time from the prolonged battle for a breather, frantically sucking in the cold air, smelling of old dust, mold, and the distinctive stench of damp concrete. I inhaled as hard as I could, and then exhaled slowly, watching the puffs of steam escape from my mouth as I exhaled. However, I think steam was getting out of my own body... My heart was pounding in my neck, and with each beat I felt a pain in my head and horn, sweat flooding my eyes... I spit a thick saliva on the floor, and wiped my forehead with my wrist. That’s all, damn it. I can't sit here any longer. Let’s rock ‘n’ roll. I pulled my disobedient body up from the dirt floor with an effort of will and aching muscles, and I put up my shield and crossed the dangerous corridor. Something rumbled behind me, making my tail flicker with static. Ha... yawned, asshole... Now through this hall into that corridor over there, and I'll try to flank it... The creature clearly entrenched there with a purpose in mind, preventing me from attacking, thus putting me in an almost hopeless situation. Which I myself have contributed to... When I attacked Tia's dream, the nightmare simply escaped as planned, leaving its stable area and entering the big world of dreams, so to speak. When I caught up with the cattle in the "neutral territory" I created my own stable area with both of us. A Soviet bunker that I remembered from some excursion or game. The ceilings, however, were somehow senselessly high for an underground fortification, either because of the habit or because of the presence of wings and the instincts associated with it. I don't know. I’m fine with that. I stabilized the dream once more, so that it wouldn't run away... and that turned out to be my fatal mistake. The monster, pinned against the wall, stopped running. First it tried to ride my brains out, and when that didn't work, it started to fight back. And after some time we both realized that it was stronger. And now it suddenly turned out that it was not him who was locked with me in thick concrete walls, which are not easy to escape, but me with him! Damn... Here, in a place where, in essence, the power of reason and imagination decides, I was more skillful - trivially by virtue of origin, my attacks were much more crushing, I was additionally fueled by the Luna's ritual... And the creature was faster - because of its origin and innate skill in creating any constructions with the ease of breath, and, worst of all, much, much thicker and tougher. It's the essence of naked energy, fatigue means death for it, but it’s been eating away for a while, and, to be honest, it's been eating away quiet gorgeously, having energy more than the whole world. Yes, it was about half its original size, but I was also literally falling off my feet, safely losing the battle of attrition... And now it was no longer him, but me with a dilemma. Will I try to break the stability of the bunker to be able to retreat - and be attacked in even more exhaustion while trying to do so. Or will I go for it, trying to implement an attack concept that would give me victory before I fell, which has frankly a shitty chance. Or I could hold on until the bunker itself lost its stability, which I have not kept up for a long time, and collapsed... The nightmare understood all this too, and entrenched in the corner hall, not allowing me to come closer. Apparently, he was preparing something deadly to kill me with a single blow. If he succeeds, then I will not wake up in my current state in reality. Even if I woke up now, I would feel absolutely fantastic... So. Here. This corridor is wider and shorter, plus you can try to create some false targets in the other two - there will be a chance to get to him and... I sighed tiredly. Fuck knows what "and”. No idea what to do. I just don’t have any energy to do anything to hit him. And the power from the ritual disappeared for good... I'll have to thank the blue one if I survive - without her sorcery I would have run out a long time ago. And then probably still break her face for thinking of feeding this abomination by herself! Like we had no problems! I chuckled wryly. This irony... Suddenly there was a ripple wave through the space. It seems that my bunker is having a hard time... A chance to get out. Or all the preparation of the nightmare was that he was punching his own way out - but then I would have no respect for him at all... I listened to my senses and, spitting on the corridor, hurriedly, as fast as I could, tapped my three remaining shoes and one bare hoof on the dusty concrete in the direction of the outlined breach. “When orkz foll bakk it don't count loss! Bekause zey orkz and zey go return, yez!” I tried to limp faster with a hum. They go return and strike everyone. I'll put Cadence in charge of the support ritual, and we'll pair up with Luna next time... I turned the corner and almost sat on my croup in surprise. “Luna?!..” “It seems I'm just in time.” The alicorn smiled faintly, sweeping a thoughtful gaze over me. “You have spare teeth, blue one?” I narrowed my eyes evilly. “I!.. Oh... Nightmare, I’m not mocking you at all.” She sighed and drooped. “This is a powerful enemy for any of us. And don't deny your need for help.” “The ritual would have been enough!..” I grumbled, turning away to hide my blush. Idiot... “The rest of its energy has been depleted to breach a way... Here.” Luna looked around and cringed chilly. “A creepy place.” “Not very cozy at most.” I didn't agree. “Okay... The monster is powerful. I locked us both in here, expecting to deal with him where he couldn't escape. But the damned nightmare, when nailed against the wall, is quite a toothy bastard. And, bastard, stupidly very strong. I managed to deplete him by about half, but now he's retreated to a dead room and is making something there. I'm guessing something deadly.” “In this case - be cautious, Nightmare. Of the two of us, it's you he's going to hit - your consciousness holds the place. If he can handle you, he can escape, and the ritual has taken a lot of my strength, I won't be able to catch up with our enemy and put up a fight." Luna frowned as she listened to the disposition and warned me. “Let me share my energy with you.” “Come on.” I downed my head, letting the blue one to touch my horn with hers and waving away in thought. It felt as if the recharge ritual was back in full effect. An invigorating force flowed into my body - if you could call it that - into the dream world, causing me to straighten up and thrust my chest out. My legs stopped to tremble with fatigue. Even the annoying taste of blood in my mouth was finally gone! “It’s all I can give.” The alicorn cut the link off, smiling awkwardly. “It’s fine. At least I can drag my own legs.” I bared my teeth in answer. “Well, let’s rip someone's head, shall we?” The companion nodded, shaking slightly. “There's a short way through here, but it's narrow... Shall we go straight?” I glanced at the alicorn. “You know the place better than I do." She shook her head in reply. “Lead us where you think it should be.” Okay... I sucked teeth and looked back and forth thoughtfully, but I moved toward the narrow technical corridor. With two of us, even if not in the best shape, we can cope in any case, so now it is important not to let the beast escape. In case the nightmare prepared exactly that. The staccato sound of our footsteps echoed faintly between the bare concrete walls. We'll go to the intersection, and we'll probably split up, hit from different directions. We'll try to play bamboozle: one attacks, and when the enemy's attention shifts to her, she takes cover, and the other attacks. We just have to figure out how to coordinate... Although... Man, that's no good. He's got more reaction speed than we do, he'll catch us... Well, what then? An amorphous purple and black figure suddenly appeared at the end of the corridor. Fuck. It turns out he hasn't been escaping. I frantically put up my shield, realizing I won't make it in time. The creature opened its jaws, and a pulsating sphere, so black that it seemed to absorb the light around it, rushed into my chest through the narrow corridor. Damn-damn-damn! A wall on the left. A wall on the right. The ceiling is high, but there’s no space to open my wings... Fuck, what do I do?!.. It’s too late! It’s gonna!.. Fu-u-ucking he-el!.. “NIGHTMARE!!!” The telekinesis jerk was so strong that I almost got my skin inside out. My back hit the ceiling, knocking me out of breath. My head was saved by the helmet, but the tip of the horn still got some, and I was now clenching my teeth and feeling the tears in my eyes from the pain. My legs were scorched with the... breath of the Abyss - I don't know what it felt like. The shell rumbled beneath me... A short cry of pain stunned me with understanding. ...and hit Luna, who was following. The telekinesis disappeared, and I collapsed to the floor from a height of nearly four meters, knocking the rest of the air out of my lungs. My legs, my ribs, my chest - my everything was hit. The pain was brutal... Blood was oozing from under the skin that has been scraped by the encounter with the floor. My wing got some as well - a reflexive attempt to open them when falling in a high but narrow corridor only made it worse. Out of the corner of my eye, I managed to notice Luna collapsing on the floor - and, blinking, disappearing from the dream before she could fall. Bitch! Fucker! Fucking pig!.. Coughing, I struggled up the wall to my trembling legs. The nightmare still stood at the end of the corridor. The attack has cost him a lot of strength - he's practically halved in size, only about a quarter of his original strength, and looks kind of... disheveled and unfocused after his attack. And Luna has recharged me... “You know what, motherfucker?” I wheezed to the parasite. “You were telling stories, that it was necessary to absorb others, and I didn't agree... But now I'll make an exception for your sake.” I lifted the shield and limped forward. A line of black smudges crashed helplessly against the dimly gleaming film. “Ain't no power at all, sucker?” The nightmare, already a little flattened and coming to its senses, disappeared silently around the corner. “Run, run. I know where you are running to.” Turning around in the narrow corridor not without difficulty, I moved towards the breach, for a moment holding my gaze on the anthracite-black stain on the floor and walls, where Luna has met the killing attack of the creature by her own body... ...destined for me. Damn it, Luna! I don't... Yes, hell, I can't stand her, but... but I haven't been dreaming of her dead a while either, to be honest with myself. She... Damn... I hope she’ll be alright... “Thanks, blue one.” I whispered. “You're an idiot, but thanks...” ... The nightmare and I arrived at the breach at the same time. Behind the breach, which resembled an open mouth with rotten rebar teeth sticking out crookedly and sideways, the fog of the "neutral space" of the dream world was graying. The stone crumble creaked and crunched beneath the hooves. In the corner of the compartment were piled the decaying remains of some furniture. They were mixed up with ancient Soviet gas masks, gnawed on by mice and rats, hung some rusty pipes, decorated with a once massive red valve, wires winding along the wall, going into the same rusty panel with a torn door, which was lying on the floor under it. Under the ceiling there was a light bulb hanging from a wire, blinking occasionally. Somehow it was a brand-new, modern LED... Let me leave. I’ll serve you. I shook my head, trying to shake understanding out of it, and grinned crookedly. “Scary, isn't it, bitch? Don't worry. It wouldn't take long.” I rushed forward, reinforcing my shield. The beam stroked across the shield, and the nightmare seemed to drift to the side, evading a possible retaliatory attack. I retaliated with a volley of rotten planks and no less rotten gas masks, throwing them at the side of my opponent with my telekinesis. It could do very little damage... but it was enough to distract it, giving me an extra half an instant to get closer. With the sound of a broken string, a widening web of “Shock Net” ripped from my horn and touched the floor with its edge, instantly and senselessly digging into it. Damn it! Closer!!! The nightmare, apparently suspecting something, tried to break the distance, but was grabbed by both front legs and strung up in the air for a much-needed second. More!.. A second web ripped from the horn and finally pulled into the creature's body, causing it to arch and collapse to the floor, its mouth open in a mute cry of pain. Even though the enemy had no nerves to be affected by this spell, in this world such a small thing was unimportant. What mattered was the concept behind the spell, what it represented in essence. Pain. And the nightmare felt that pain perfectly. I froze for a moment, feeling my sides shake, and the nasty ache of my horn and... everything else. I could hardly swallow the thickened saliva with the taste of blood. I looked at the monster that was squirming on the floor. I squeezed it with my telekinesis, taking away its mobility. “I've promised you, that you are going to be absorbed? Well, welcome to the dinner.” Understanding of fear was my answer. I smiled and opened my jaws. *** “Ph-h... Fu-uck... A-a-a... Kh...” Reality greeted me with deafening pain and burning all over my body. For a few seconds I tried to remember how to breathe. My head throbbed with an abominable pain, my horn burned, every bruised place in the dream world burned, my tongue stuck to my palate, and a salty crust of dried tears pulled down the fur of my cheeks. For at least a minute I laid and stared dumbly at the ceiling, trying to come to my senses. The large crystal that hung from the chains there was dim and dull. The darkness was only lighted by a single oil lamp for some reason - though my eyes were more or less content with that. Even the air seemed to burn out, becoming heavy and... empty. There was no longer any sense of magic all around the room. But there was a feeling that, despite my condition, I was the one with the most power. The power buzzed in my arteries and veins, causing the burning sensation. I think I overate someone... I didn't absorb the whole nightmare, because I suddenly felt... guilty? I had a feeling that this way of gaining power was better suited to some demons, so it was just... disgusting to finish the job. So, after eating a little more than half of the beating nightmare in my grasp, I made him my servant. I forbade him to come near any alicorn or foal, and threw the vanquished and hopefully recruited enemy out of the bunker. This motherfucker was called Tantabas, by the way... Yeah. I sighed, and tried to brush away the mane that was getting into my eyes. Tried again. I lifted my eyes up indignantly - and stared in surprise at the purple starry sky. I caught it, touched it, trying to figure out how it felt. I don't damn know! Ah, Sweetie will be upset... Finally, the pain and burning subsided a little, and I looked around a bit, regaining my senses... ...and I jumped up from my bunk. I stumbled across the furrow in the floor, which has been cut on the place of the ritual drawing, as if it has been pierced by acid. Keeping my balance with difficulty, I came closer to Luna's bedside. Fuck, fuck, fuck... I frantically pressed my ear to the alicorn's chest. Boom... Boom... Shi-i-it... She's alive... I could hardly swallow the lump in my throat. But alive, to put it mildly, barely. The heart is pounding barely audibly, the shallow breath is barely heard... And the mare herself looked as pale as a ghost. She's definitively unconscious, pale as hell, with a faded mane that resembled straw, with trails of dried blood from her nose and lips, with her eyelids ajar. The latter frightened me like hell for some reason. “Yeah, blue one, you ain't dying today...” I hurriedly lifted the alicorn onto my back, cringing from the phantom pain in my ribs. I opened the safe door, squeezed through, trying not to touch Luna, and frantically looked around the room of the magic laboratory for a normal bed or at least a couch. A table for small rituals, a drawing board, a bookcase... Nothing, shit! Shit! I pulled both bunks out of the spell chamber, ripped them from as if slightly burned stone. Then I put them together, writhing with the pain in my horn and burning all over my body, welded the legs together to keep them that way, put barely alive Princess on the resulting bed. I peeked out into the corridor. “A medic to the magic lab! Immediately!!!” My voice rippled through like a shock wave, doubling as I used the Canterlot Voice. I got back, looked at Luna. Alas, but I can't do anything else. I’m almost zero at medicine... “Everything is gonna be alright, do you hear me, Lu? The doctor will come and give you an injection, and we'll dance at your wedding! And drink to our victory!” I chuckled hysterically through my tears and collapsed onto the floor, feeling the last of my strength to do anything is going out of me. That’s all. I’m done. I can't do anything else. What could be done is done. Luna will be resuscitated - is she an alicorn or what? And Tia will finally be able to sleep in peace. And have good dreams. We have won. Everything will be good now.
54. The Fruits of The VictoryAuthor's Note "You have won! It's time for you to meet your reward." Original author's note. 54. The Fruits of The Victory I don't know how long I've been lying on the floor. My eyes were closed, I was listening to the sickening squeak in my ears and the measured pulse of my heart, wrinkling from the pain from time to time. I was tired as hell, and probably more mentally than physically. I really could have stayed there today. Idiot, damn it... I didn't think the creature would be so strong already, I underestimated it... Though how was I to judge accurately? Even Tantabas, despite his immense amount of stuff, ran from me like fire, until I locked him in a box with nowhere to go. And that's when he showed me that nightmares, though they try to run away and hide first, can fight if there's no other way out. If the ritual hadn't given me the strength to last this long, and if Luna hadn't come to help me in person after the end of the ritual fuel, I don't know what would have happened to me. “Blue idiot.” I mumbled, sluggishly moving my tongue. “He could’ve killed you there, ay...” I should check her, I should... Nah. No strength to do so. I should. And where are the fucking medics?.. What the hell is going on out there? Some unhealthy buzzing... With a groan and a weak curse, I opened my eyes and scraped myself off the floor with difficulty. I turned around to examine Luna. Oh, she looks bad... Is she even breathing?.. I was about to put my ear to the alicorn's chest, but I was interrupted by the door suddenly swinging open and a trio of guardsmen pouring in. The mice looked... hunted and, I'd say, frightened. “Great Nightmare! You have to leave, we won't be able to stay any longer!” The vanilla-colored mare in the armor of the forewoman officer of the Moon Shield Wing practically begged, and, seeing my bewilderment, hastily explained: “Queen Celestia, in contempt of our great mother, Luna, has appeared without her invitation and has decided to enter her domain by force, and is now on her way here! We... We cannot endure her fury, mistress. Forgive us!..” The forewoman fell onto her knees and downed her head low. Fucking hell. What's.. What is she doing? Why is she?.. Damn... What is actually going fucking on?.. Fuck, it's really important to deal with this now!.. “Get up, rest, clean up." I muttered, straining to listen to the muffled sounds coming from behind the front door. “We're not going anywhere - Luna needs medical aid immediately.” “What?.. The Great mother is wounded?!” The leader of the small squad rose up with fear. “Yes.” I glanced worriedly at the very bad blue and ducked down, still intending to listen to her heartbeat again. “Got hurt in a...” The door flew rattling into the room, knocking one of the guardsmen down along the way. The stone crumbs whipped painfully across my body. “The Queen is he-e-a-a-a!..” The second guard, who has turned towards the dust-covered breach with the forewoman, received a bright blue beam in his chest and collapsed to the floor. From the cloud of dust emerged the first soldiers of the Solar Guard. The unicorn, who has apparently used the beam, flinched and stumbled as he ran beside his fallen foe, frozen in indecision, his eyes wide open as he watched him writhing in pain at his feet. “We’ll protect the Great mother!” The forewoman yelled with tears in her voice, falling back to me and Luna. “You had to protect her earlier! And not from me!” Celestia's unexpectedly powerful voice seemed to overwhelm all other sounds. The snowy alicorn clad in her armor stepped through the settling dust. The pink eyes, contrasting against the graying eyelids, traced the room, lingered on me, squinted angrily, and froze on Luna. A moment later, Celestia darted forward like a train, getting the thestral out of her way by her own chest, and froze in terror in front of the bed. “Luna? Luna! Luna, no!!! LUNA!!!” Alicorn stood there like a pillar of salt, staring at her sister with her pupils narrowed into dots. Damn, apparently, she... Damn it, I have to calm her down, now! “Luna’s alive, but her...” “You promised me, Nightmare!!!” Celestia yelled, halting me mid-word with an unnatural sharp jerk towards me. The Princess's tears, which left smudges of mascara on her snow-white fur, gave a kind of eerie impression... “You... Luna... I... I...” She lowered her head hopelessly. There was a respectful silence around her grief, as if it made everything and everyone around her freeze. Damn it... I checked, Luna was alive! Maybe Princess just couldn't see it because of the burning emotions, or Luna... Or... Oh, fuck. Flames flickered across Tia's mane, and she twitched as if a shock wave swept through her fur, gasping for air and cocking her head in a jerky motion, staring wildly at me and igniting her horn. I flinched involuntarily: for a moment, it seemed for some reason that Celestia's eyes were glowing orange. Before I could open my mouth, my body burst into flames, as if fire was coursing through my veins at once. The burning sensation in my horn turned into a red-hot spike in my head. The pain was deafening. I couldn't even scream - not a gram of air was left in my lungs, which were cramped. I was already lying on the floor, and through my tears I could see Tia snarling at the frightened guards, gesturing furiously, giving them orders. They run around, some run out into the corridor, some twist the thestrals. The forewoman, who had jumped up from the floor, tried to fight back, but gets a beam and falls back down... Before I fell into the merciful darkness, I saw Princess turning her head towards me as she looked at Luna, rewarding me with a scorching look in my eyes. And the flames ran through her mane again. *** "Good deeds are punishable” - is it? With a sigh, I glanced again at the place where I have recently woken up. Two walls, two bars instead of the other two walls, allowing me to see through the cell from any angle. The bars are almost as big as a foot, larger than the space between them. Behind one of the bars is a corridor and a guard post, and behind the other is a small cage of similar bars that serves as an airlock. In the far corner is a closet with a toilet and, next to it, a sink with a mirror above it - all in full view, so you can peek at my face. And showers seem to be a luxury for people like me now... The bed. Enough to accommodate an alicorn with difficulty, but no more than that. A table, a stool, and a bookshelf with a couple dozen shabby tabloid novels. A quill, an inkwell, and a small stack of blank paper. A shabby rug to create anything remotely resembling comfort. The light seems to be only natural, from a small barred window, and from the "light bulbs" that shine upon the bored guards at the post. That's all, by and large. Oh, no, there's also, of course, a fashion accessory on the horn, gently filling its coils with some elastic, slightly sticky stuff on the inside, having a slick, sloping shape on the outside, and therefore completely unremovable by any reasonable effort without help from the outside. Now that's it for sure. At least they didn't bother with any other collar chains, probably counting on the sufficient reliability of the magical restraints and bars... Well, a great place to die from the boredom. There’s not even a clock here! I was thinking, of course, about how it has come to this in the first place... I chuckled unhappily, rolling over onto my other side and staring at the wall. “How it has come” - quite understandable thing. The fucking nightmare had rocked Tia's psyche enough that one serious shock was enough to make her go off the slicer for good. And that shock was Luna and her condition. It's not unreasonable to mistake her for dead in that situation - and yet I hope she's still alive and being pumped out there now. Why so - I don't fucking know, honestly! But as it turned out, for all my dislike of the blue one, I didn't want her to die. And I certainly didn't want her to die in a situation where her death guarantees to bring my own, because considering who seemed to be at the helm in the snowy alicorn's body instead of Tia... I hope our sweet Sunny gets her body back somehow. Because if the pyromaniac stays, no one will be happy at all, and I, as the one accused in using the ritual, that sucked the power from Luna, is in the lead. Thanks, as you might call it, to my brand-new starry mane amidst the monstrous exhaustion of the blue one... What the hell is so great about my luck?.. I sighed and rolled over onto my other side again, now staring at the beaten carpet. So that's it... Straining our horse asses with Luna, trying to tear the head off the nightmare so it wouldn't drip on Tia's brains like a company of space marines. All that for she, having assessed the loss, would do what we were trying so hard to prevent - go all guns blazing. Abyss... But who knew that she was being harassed not only "from the outside," but probably "from the inside," too? Much, of course, became clearer, but it did not help at all. Especially in a situation where nothing else depends on you, and of all opportunities you have only to sit and wait. The damned ring even work with the world of dreams, sending me to the very beginning of the path, when you understand everything, but you cannot do anything! If some nightmare gets to me, all I can do is cuss it out, and that's not right away, but only when I wake up... I sighed wistfully, scraping myself off the bed, cringing from the disgusting burning-tickling-tensing sensation almost all over my body, and walked around the cell, stretching my legs. It wasn't that small, by the way - eighteen or twenty squares at a glance. I am, however, also far from human compactness: I occupy about one and a half of it simply by standing still in place. And with wings, it would probably be all three if I spread it out. And that's if you count the area honestly, not if you square the silhouette, because that would be... I shook my head. I walked over to the bars, wincing because of the way the bars were put everywhere in my eyes, and looked out into the extended part of the corridor adjacent to the cell. I was tempted to call it an "atrium," where the guards were seated. They’ve brought as many as four, though it seemed to me that all the cells here, no matter how many there were, except for mine, were empty. Three guards, a mare and two stallions, were playing something with a slight boredom, seated at the table. The fourth one, a pale orange pegasus with bright blue hair, flatly refused to join in. He was rebuking his colleagues for neglect, levity, and violation of regulations after every offer to tag along, and continued to stare at me through the bars almost unremittingly. I met his gaze with mine, smiled to bare my teeth and snapped them, causing the pegasus to flinch and take a step backward. His croup comically against the wall. A new one. I chuckled briefly and shook my head, and continued to stagger leisurely around the cell. Soon, though, I was in luck: the world around me began to change. I heard footsteps from the door next to the guards, which seemed to lead to the cellar, and it rattled open, letting in the new faces. Shining Armor was the first, and I raised an eyebrow in mild surprise, followed by the familiar pale pink, short unicorn mare with a striped mane that seemed to come in four or five shades from pale blue to radical turquoise. Medical bags were slung over the colored pony's back. Aqua Spectrum, had been observing me on matters of magical health for some time. “The Players” finding Armor in front of them, jumped up like being hit by boiling water. They made me chuckle and their vigilant rookie colleague give the trio the "I told you!" look. After listening to the confused report, the Lieutenant promised everyone to cancel their leaves and more duties by a long, heavy stare, after which he said to the penalized soldiers: “At ease. Look around.” He moved towards me with Aqua. “Howdy, Lieutenant. You haven't come by me for so many nights...” I smiled at him cutely. “When is the wedding?” “Not today.” He answered simply, giving me a frown. “You have to be examined by a medpony. Without tricks, Nightmare. And without jokes.” “I will wail soon without jokes.” I mumbled under my breath. “Let her do her job - I’ll try to not complicate her job.” “The keys!” The unicorn ordered, turning around and looking at me with a frown again. “I’m serious, Nightmare.” I silently glanced at him and went deep into the cell, waving my tail defiantly in farewell. You will not get another answer, Lieutenant, I do not feel guilty enough for another answer! I've been honestly cutting my veins to get to the starters, risking my skin, not seeing Rarity for half a month. And I haven't seen the others for who knows how long, and here's the result. I'm sitting in a cage with all kinds of smart asses poking me with a stick: “Are you normal? Are you going to behave good?” Fuck your horses, citizens - this is my last word! And Tia, damn... “You promised!” I promised - and I did it! Luna has been hurt by other's deeds, not mine! Who is insured in battle in general - it happened as it happened, it's good that we are still alive!... I hope we' re still alive... Yeah, Tia didn't know - you could’ve asked, damn you! No, damn it! I... Just... It’s a pity! Fairless! And she's gone to who fucking knows way... And these now!.. How long would it be before I'm considered as an enemy of the people by my acquaints? Damn it! It’s been fucking hell without end since the day I had woken up as a mare in this good-bloody-childish tale!.. I frowned as I looked at the movement at the airlock grate. The newcomer, who had opened the outer door, was now anxiously trying to lock it back, with Shining and his companion inside. He soon succeeded, and the pegasus, wiping the sweat from his forehead, staggered to his "playing" partners in relief. He received a threatening shout to his back, pressed his ears and made everyone laugh at him, coming back to the door and pulling out and taking the forgotten key from the keyhole. “Kindergarten...” Armor, rolling his eyes, magically took another key and opened the door of my cell. Entering, he cautiously hid behind his shield and started to shine with his horn at the ready. Aqua slipped in as well, trying to habitually be as smaller and more invisible as possible. No matter how long we’ve been chatting - she hasn't gotten used to me anyway, this aura's doctor and the opener of chakras. It's like a bomb squad with an unexploded nuclear bomb, for God's sake... Even if I wanted to, what would I do here? “G-greetings, Nightmare... Wow, it's even more beautiful up close!..” She said a nervous hello, and stared at my mane in fascination. Armor, with a grudging hum, looked at me grudgingly. “Hi, doc.” “S... Sorry.” The pony drooped, unfreezing. “Well... Phew... Do you, e-e... Do you have any complaints?” She asked in her own style shyly. “I do. I, Acquired Princess, can't be alone and can't escape the others’ gazes even when sleeping!” I rolled the complaint out with a stone face. “It’s ridiculous!” I don't even know how it should be. But I can always cite the age and the old times. “I’m sorry, Your Grace.” Shining made a barely visible bow, forcing the unicorn do the same reflexively. “Her Highness Princess Celestia checked the cells before your imprisonment in person - and, despite your title, ordered to confine you here. We cannot do anything about that. Sorry.” The guard’s voice had like zero grams of regret. “And Aqua Spectrum meant your state of health.” Imagine that - I knew that! Dumbass, damn it. Those were the Lunar ones, this is a Solar one... I did not answer the guardsman, but looked down at him silently, and turned to the embarrassed medpony. “The condition... It feels like all the energy channels are burning to the last one. It is tolerable, it is possible to get used to it, but it is disgusting to the point of impossibility and all over the body at once. The horn is aching. The phantom pains, fortunately, have also almost subsided, so nothing else really bothers me. The only other thing is that I obviously need to eat.” “W-well, if the pain is tolerable, then you haven't burn them all. The energy channels...” The medpony walked around me timidly, shining her horn at me. “As far as I can tell, too much energy has gone through them. It's rare, usually there's just not enough reserve for that... To avoid making things worse, try not to use magic yet... Oh, I mean... Excuse me, Your Grace!” She laid down her ears. “For a more rapid and successful recovery, I would recommend this potion." The mare hurriedly dug out of her kit a couple of small vials and placed them on the table. "Three times a day, but I only have two with me so far. I tried to pick up the vial demonstratively with my telekinesis, grimaced, put my hoof to the jar, magnetized it, straining a bit and put it back. Familiar vials. Not a cheap brew, from what I've heard... I wonder if these ones are supposed to be provided to every hangman like me.... Shining cast a suspicious glance at the vials and the doctor in confirmation of my thoughts. “Here. Feel better...” The pony mumbled. “If there are no complaints left, then I'd like to go...” “Thanks doc. Patching me again... Goodbye, I guess?” “G-goodbye.” She squeaked in answer and went for the exit in a hurry. Shining looked suspiciously at me, too, and said the food would be here soon, so he followed. “Come on, go away.” I muttered to myself as the door rattled and the key jangled in the lock. I tried to magically pick up the vial from the table again. Cursing softly, I glued it to my hoof, and, twisting the cork with my teeth, poured the fizzy liquid into myself, which made my tongue feel a little numb. I couldn't find a trash can, so I just tossed the empty container and the cork behind the bars into the corridor. I ignored the guards' indignation and crouched on the bunk, facing the wall. The mood, already lousy, was rapidly rolling into the abyss. Well, to hell with it. And with me. With everyone. ... “Rar, you won't leave me, will you?” “I won't, Nighty.” I froze, trying to hold back the tears and feeling her heart beating. “N-never?” “Until I die.” She smiled a bit sadly with the edges of her lips. ... I opened my eyes, and, wiping away the tears with the tip of my wing, sighed tearfully. And a couple of hours later she flew away, leaving me to prepare for the final battle with evil... And upon the victory over it, I’ll be just decommissioned, and I’m risking to never see neither Rar, nor the others... The Ice Cream's visit left such a mark on my memory that I could fall into it, as I had fallen into memories about the Moon. Or I just wanted to do it so badly, I don't know. I wanted something... reassuring - but the memory of meeting my friend only served to wound my soul. Damn it... But I could not change over to the positive - my mind was full of strife and despondency. It’s bad, but... I remembered asking Rarity, as I continued that dialog, if she would agree to become an alicorn, with all the pros and cons of that decision. The answer was somewhat puzzling and surprising: Rar said yes in a flash, despite my clarification that she, an immortal, would have to bury her sister sooner or later, and her potential children as well... It was taken as... As if it were not her decision - as if it were fate. If you can be, you have to be, otherwise it's just wrong. And then the conversation crept towards the subject of death and the relationship to it. Ponies have a peculiar way of looking at this. They felt as if there were two deaths - as I divided by myself: the good one and the bad one. The good one took the pony when his time came, and the bad one took him before his time. So the attitude toward natural death from old age was simple and easy. Such is life, it comes to an end. It was a good one, filled with joys and sorrows, friends, events... Saying that I was shocked when Rar told me about Pinkie's farewell parties for such an occasion is not surprising at all. But yes, quiet, calm gatherings of family and friends, farewells, remembering good things. No condolence - there's nothing tied to it. The natural course of things... A very different matter was premature death by disease, in a catastrophe or accident, from an attack by some predatory creature - you got the point. The point was that the life that was supposed to go on was tragically cut short. Here were the condolences, the grief, the tears, and the parting without parties, in sadness and silence. So, as surprising as it is, Rar didn't even think of a no in this hypothetical case, I guess. And burying her sister... Well, if she died of old age because that is a natural course of things, well. I'm not sure, in fact, that if she had been faced with a real prospect, she would have agreed just as easily... I still had some doubts about her motivation, even though I was somewhat impressed by her certain positive attitude. But no matter how you feel about losses, they will still be losses, and it is unlikely that they will ever become painless. On the other hand, not killing yourself over them is also the right thing to do from a certain point of view?.. I remembered home, my parents, from there, from that life. What did I feel now? A light sadness, perhaps - and a willingness to move on. And maybe that's the right thing to do? They wouldn't want me to go and drink ‘till the end over the fact that they were no longer with me, would they? "They're no longer with me"... If you think about it, it sounds pretty selfish - too much "me"... "I don't have you anymore, I want you to come back, I feel bad"! The situation, however, is somewhat reversed here - it was me who had gone, but still, we lost each other. In fact, I hope they don't remember me very often anymore. They buried me, remembered me, and moved on, instead of being left to weep over the grave, fading away on their own. I certainly wouldn't want that. Let them go on living, not having forgotten how to laugh and smile, just as I should now. And still - I miss them, sometimes... I chuckled involuntarily at the image that came to mind: my mother, sighing and looking sadly at the tombstone, smiling sadly: “You're now in a better world”, but I've been coping here for weeks with my eyes goggling, and then I got in a jail... "A better world” - fucking yes!.. I sit behind bars and envy myself! Yeah, and thinking about death for an eternity... Who knows, maybe it will come for me tomorrow, in the form of Daybreaker as an executioner?.. I sighed and looked around the semi-darkened cell. The Sun had already been replaced in the sky by the Moon. Its dim light barely penetrated the window through the clouds, and only the low lights of the lamps under the ceiling of the guard post shone on me. The other four ponies were already languidly carrying on there, chatting quietly about everyday life, joking with each other, running to the storeroom for tea, gossiping about their colleagues and commanders, discussing the now-aged captain, who was on sick leave again and about to retire, and occasionally looking at me with a lazy, indifferent glance. “Some broke a limb - it's alright. If it dies - it just dies.” I muttered softly to myself, and, sighing again, I rolled over onto my other side, facing the wall, and hugged the skinny pillow tighter. And my friends back in Ponyville probably wouldn't even know until the end... That's... that's not fair. What a pity...
55. A Second As Eternity“Greetings, Nightmare.” Shining, as always, was straightened, clam and gloom. “You've finally decided to drop your boring Cadence and try to get my attention?” I don't know, but this dull expression on his face was almost irritating. I wanted to either make him laugh with my trolling, or just drive him mad... “No.” Damn, soldier, you can't do like this!.. “Well, what do you, then, so boring, want from an unwanted pony in this palace?” “And unwanted soul in this world.” I added to myself in thought and sighed quietly cringing. Yeah... I didn't really think so, but... Being behind bars was killing off any sprouts of good cheer in the most reliable way. And it was only the third day of my incarceration, what would happen to me in a week - it's scary to think about... “Aqua asked me to give you some medicine, she's very busy today." The unicorn took three vials from his bag and put them on the table between the rods of the bars. “And something more. Correction of treatment and new recommendations." He held out a sheet of paper to me. What? Which correction, why would?.. Barely reading the letters, I shut my mouth and hurried to shut up before I said something wrong. Aqua Spectrum has begun to write interesting "doctor's prescriptions"... What am I going to do with it after reading? I thoughtfully looked around the cell, my eyes quickly stopped on the bathroom. John will help. My peripheral vision noticed that Shining, having followed the direction of my gaze, nodded approvingly. “Thanks, Lieutenant.” Putting the sheet with text facing the table, I thanked Shining by a nod. “Sorry for acridity if you need it.” “I am as well, Nightmare. Goodbye.” Slowing, he nodded and said goodbyes, heading to the exit. For what, though?.. Nah, doesn't matter anyway. At least someone else is here on my side, and that's nice. I became a little embarrassed about my jokes, damn... Following the unicorn with a gaze, I got the "recipe” from the table and limped to the bed with three legs. I sat down and tried to pick up the edge of the sheet with my hoofkenesis at least somehow. I dropped it. Cursed a little. Got up to take it from the floor, sat down again. Damn it! Yeah, hoofkenesis is a powerful thing, sometimes it can even teach a thing or two to fingers. I once saw an earthpony at a typewriter... If you learn and practice, you'll have the hooves to do anything. But when you've been using telekinesis all your pony life... I'm gonna get out of here and buy myself a ring for my horn in a sex shop and practice it for a month! Without the horn, it's like having no... hands, yeah. With some difficulty, I finally got the damn sheet of paper together and was able to read the contents properly. The letter, written in Cadence's familiar handwriting, was definitely the best news I've heard in three endless days. Our amorous alicorn, having had several conversations with "Tia" over the days, was full of suspicion. She believed that I would not have done what she accused me of - that by threats and constant pressure on her sense of duty and guilt I had forced Luna to agree to a ritual that sucked her dry to regain my power, hoping to get rid of her, get rid of Tia, and finally take over Equestria. And Cadence even believed it at first, but after thinking and watching and listening, she somehow came to the conclusion that something was very wrong, which meant that Luna and I had failed, and that her aunt was now acting under the influence of nightmares and paranoia, unaware of what she was doing, and would surely regret it bitterly later. Anyway, to cut to the chase, Cadence, fearing for the possible actions of a ruler under influence against me, was preparing my escape. As I understand it, she successfully recruited Shining, too, though he didn't seem eager to help me at all... This is why he looked at me like a wolf - he surely knows the charges I’m accused of. All right, I’m satisfied with him helping me. I hope they're serious enough that the guard doesn't get doubts and suddenly go backwards. According to the plan outlined, I was to wait for help in the early morning before sunrise, though there were doubts that it would work: a plan B was also mentioned for breakfast and afterwards. For this plan there was an antidote in a vial with a deliberately crooked label... I hope it wouldn't come in handy. In the meantime, by and large, I had only to wait - and that wait was as unbearable as it was joyful. It looks like I'll be crying into Cadence's shoulder in the morning for not leaving me behind... “Miss?” I shuddered at the resounding thud on the bars very close by. “Are you alright? You've been looking at this recipe for about fifteen minutes - only your eyes are moving frantically...” I instantly felt a lump in my throat, and turned sharply towards the unicorn guard who seemed to be trying to peek at the sheet in my hooves. Good thing the angle was infinitely disadvantageous - the sheet was sideways to him, and there was a blank wall behind me. “Everything's good, just musing.” I panted, forcing my voice to sound plain. “I think what it will look like?” “What?” The stallion asked reflexively. “My death. I hope it will be spectacular enough and, for sure, widely publicized! My name will be remembered! The whole of Equestria will be talking about me!” “Y-yes, of c-course...” The guardsman flinched at my exalted, breathy voice, and backed away. “I... I won't disturb you...” Yeah-yeah, go away, curious monster... I followed him with a gaze and sighed quietly. Man, I wish I wouldn't get myself in trouble with this rant... Look at his colleagues, at their exchanging of gazes... I grabbed the paper securely with my hoofkenesis and scratched my left wing, invisible to the guard, as if in thought, and tried to hide the paper under it, pretending to put something in an urn. The trash can appeared at my very next breakfast after the bottle was thrown out - a miscalculation quickly realized... I got up and walked towards the bathroom. My heart was pounding, and I had the feeling that everyone had noticed, understood, and was glaring at me. It was hard not to turn around. When I found myself in the cramped closet of the bathroom, I cursed quietly - almost dropped it! - I pulled the letter out from under my wing-it wasn't sticking out, I hope, because I hadn't checked!.. Then I torn it into four parts - this was my limit with the hooves - and sent it into the toilet. In a couple of minutes the water rumbled, carrying the soaked paper down the drain. That’s all... I got out of the closet with an independent expression, washed my front legs in the sink, splashed on my muzzle, and stared in the mirror. The look, which seemed somehow dreary even to myself yesterday, burned with anticipation. I frowned and scratched for real. I sighed. When I’m out of here, the first thing I’ll do is shower! These bastards tied me up right after the fight, when they could've just wrung me to get rid of the sweat... If I had the old mane, I would have had it in a tangle, but now - it just flies, I’m and it is okay with that. It’s just not cozy to look at her, damn it... Yeah... Nah, when all this bullshit is over - spa, full services! I want to wash away all the dirt and the unhappy events. With Rar, with Pinkie, with Flutty... And I’ll call Cadence in. And Tia, if she's okay! We'll relax, gossip like friends... After chuckling merrily at my reflection for the last time and wiping away my mane, I looked at the barred window, through which the sunlight was streaming in past the bars, and dust particles were dancing in it. Tomorrow is gonna be a hard day. All that is left is to endure this one. *** Sitting behind the table in the semi-darkness of the night, which was dispersed by the slightly dimmed light of the magical lamps at the guard post, I thoughtfully drew letters, numbers, and all kinds of abstract figures on a sheet of paper with a pencil that I had borrowed from the watch commander on the second day of my imprisonment. I can't get tired of being amazed by my eyes. The lighting is like a night-light in the opposite corner of the room, and I don't even feel uncomfortable looking at pencil lines on the paper in such scant light... I took it away from the sheet and shook a little, relaxing my tense leg, and peered skeptically at the result. It was as if I was trying to draw a straight line in “Paint” with a pencil or paintbrush tool. I look at this mess now - and I can't get away from the thought that it's really easier and better to do it with my mouth, honestly... I put off the pencil, stretched, crunching my back and wings, waved my front legs, restoring the suddenly lost balance, and leaned on the table with a clatter. Oh, damn it!.. I've been here too long... This is how you're tied to the clocks, damn it! The impossibility of knowing the exact time made me want to climb the wall, but, alas, all I could find out about the time in my situation was that it was night and the Sun was not yet up. At first, I couldn't sleep half the night after I got the news - I kept thinking in my head about what would happen next. I spit at it and got up. Did I sleep at all - I don't know. The night passed in a kind of fog of half-forgetful-semi-slumber. Now, after a clearly fucked night, I was sitting on pins and needles, waiting to be rescued and killing time by trying to practice hoofkenesis. It was... well, like a kindergartener's, no better. Damn... In fact, the pony's hooves, especially those of the earthponies, were quite a tool. Massage ponies did not do worse than people - that's for sure, I can say it from personal experience. And hoofkenesis was also able to attract many objects, including gluing and ungluing the necessary ones selectively, affect the surface point by point and non-uniformly, act through obstacles, and create vibrations, like Pinkie's family in the canon, who were crushing rocks with their bare hooves... Even I was able to rotate the pencil in the hoof along its plane - even though shitty - and the tougher ones were able to deflect it significantly away from the plane, which in the long run could fully replace the human hand. The only problem was that even for the earthponies, such a mastery of hooves was rare and required much work and training, but it was even harder for pegasi and, especially, unicorns by nature. And given that the first ones had wings that could in some places replace hooves, and the others had a horn, not many of them bothered with it. The earthponies, too... If they hold on to it, that's fine, and they live their whole lives drawing with a pencil in their mouths and with spoons with a contact pad on the handle... No, listen, I'll give myself some more training in living with a ring on the horn, that's for sure. I don't think those walls would have held Limestone for more than half an hour... I want to do that too! Just in case. Now I don't have my horn - and I’m almost incapacitated. Damsel in distress, damn it... I chuckled reflexively. It's practically a classic of a pony love-adventure novel: languishing in a tower, waiting for a beautiful mare to save me. If I had been a stallion, I would have been waiting for two mares who turned from rivals to inseparable friends over the course of the adventure, and that would've been a hundred percent coincidence... But damn it, where’s this pretty Princess, ay?.. I glanced around reflexively, and, once again, unable to find anything that might indicate the current time, I sighed and stared gloomily at the sheet of paper. Sitting, drawing - what else could I do? Closing my eyes, I listened to my heartbeat. Damn. I hope she got this. I don't want the executioner to come to me before the cavalry arrives! ... The footsteps sounded outside the front door, causing the overworked, hungry and half-asleep guards to get a wriggle on, and it forced me to leave my bunk, where I was trying to get some sleep, and my heart to beat faster, bringing adrenaline to my body. The breakfast has been delivered. It has been an eternity, damn it! I want to devour as hell! I hope it's late only because of Cadence's lauded Plan B, because otherwise I don't even know... It's too bad if otherwise. After sitting on pins and needles all morning until sunrise and with a very anxious feeling that the main plan was probably over, I tried to get some sleep before breakfast, comforting myself that it was not yet evening. I just had to wait for plan B. I even got the chance to sleep a bit in snatches, but the lack of any movement became more and more stressful the further it went. The familiar guards - three guys and a girl, including the orange rookie pegasus - were also pretty exhausted, though for a slightly different reason. Awaiting this late breakfast, they never had a shift, and the guardsmen, even tired of trying to call for the karma of heaven on the heads of their colleagues and commanders, which had left them, were just gloomily silent and trying to not fall asleep. They were already given night time, and even earlier than usual, having lengthened the duty by a couple of hours, apparently for the relaxation at the post. And it stretched for another couple of hours... I really hope it's been done on purpose, with some aims to be met... The unicorn maid with big sad eyes who delivered the food, meanwhile, arranged fresh vegetable stew with potatoes and other delicacies floating and spreading appetizing aroma on the table of the guards. In the same time, she was fending off their questions at the same time. They received a brief response, "A small fire happened in the kitchen," and immediately forgot about their problems, wondering if anyone was hurt. After exchanging a few more words with the guards and wishing them a pleasant appetite, the maid, with a return of gratitude, came to me, opened the "embrasure"-receiver and, after saying hello and apologizing for the delay, began to carefully move the plates from her cart to my table. “Move your sheet, please... Thank you.” A plate of the same stew fell almost silently in place of the paper I'd picked up. A salad, bread, tea, and some gingerbread took its place next to it. “Have a nice meal. And don't forget to take your medicine before the food, please.” I stared at the mare dazedly. Why would she... A-a... I think I got it... “Thanks for the care.” I smiled at her, hoping the smile didn't turn into a smirk of anticipation in the process, and exhaled softly in relief. We're still rock ‘n’ rollin’... “Goodbye.” The pony smiled a bit, nodded in response and moved back, rattling the empty cart on the joints of stone on the floor, raking from the back of the guardhouse the pile of dirty dishes that has been there since dinner, already washed by one of the guards, who lost to the others in a kind of "rock-paper-scissors", but it's played on their ears. The rookie, by the way, was lucky in this group, and during all these couple or so times, that I've seen him on the duty, he hasn't washed the dishes even once... I hummed at the vicissitudes of fate. I followed the unicorn with a gaze, that hid behind the door and was rattling with empty plates on her cart. I looked at the table. Well, I was told that the treatment from the “doctor” was adjusted... If they say “before the food” - it means before the food, right?.. Going to the bookshelf, on which I kept my bottles, I took a bottle with a badly glued label and, taking the cork off, I drank the astringent sour liquid in one go. Here it is... The treatment is over - I can eat. I feel that next time I might not get the chance soon... ... The stew was a crackerjack. It cracked all the guards, who were already sticking matches in their eyes, and now, fifteen minutes after the meal, they were already asleep the first places they could rest on. The water hummed in the back room as the newcomer, who has finally lost a game - Flash - was washing plates. He was also washing mine: I ignored the guards' hints that I had a sink in here, too. You've got nothing to do here, and I’m... Thinking here, by the way! And besides, you have horns, wings and hooves that don't all grow out of your croup, unlike... After listening to the steady hum of the water for a minute, I stretched my neck, trying to peek into the back room. Did he pass out in there, or what?.. As if in tune with my thoughts, a silence fell, but no one came out of the back room. He was probably just lounging around on some shabby couch, or whatever it was. Aren't you ashamed, Flash? The colleagues are forced to overcome: two stallions sitting with their heads on the table, and a mare standing, swaying to the rhythm of breathing. They kicked 'em out to stand, chauvinists, how did they dare!.. I chuckled quietly at the thought. But it's interesting, of course, that ponies can sleep standing up, too... When cautious footsteps sounded outside the door, I thought I was about to explode from anticipation, tension, and a gradually growing panic. There didn't seem to be much blood in the adrenaline rushing through my veins with my heart beating furiously, so I could hardly contain a completely girlish squeal at the sight of a pink alicorn with a multicolored purple-pink-cream mane, peering warily into the aisle to assess the situation. Cadence! I wasn't wrong! Finally!.. After carefully checking the guards and correcting one of them, who was gradually slipping out of his chair, the mare nodded hello and disappeared into the back room, apparently making sure that everyone has been neutralized and finding everything she needed and heading to me. The sound of the key turning in the keyhole has never sounded so sweet to me. So... Medicine taken, food eaten, bathroom is used, washed up to the best of my ability. The slept that has been taken is that great, but I can't do anything ‘bout this. I’m ready. With a low rattle, the second door swung open. “Cadence!” I screamed with a whisper, grabbing the alicorn in an embrace. “You came after all! Didn't leave me!..” Tears started to hastily appear in my eyes. I’m not lonely! “Greetings, Nightmare.” She greeted me quietly with an apologizing voice. “I understand, but... Get a grip, please. We don't have much time.” “Y-yes, of course.” I stepped back and swallowed a lump in my throat. “Just... Oh, you've managed to bring even them?” My bags were thrown over the mare's back. “A pleasant opportunity had appeared.” She handed them over to me with a smile. I looked at her meaningfully. “Oh, sorry! I’m!..” The ring on my horn was enveloped in a blue cloud of magic. After nearly half a minute, it finally clicked open, allowing Cadence to remove it with a sigh of relief. I could not stand it and immediately lit the horn, noting that the potions really helped me well. There was almost no burning - I pumped a drop of energy into it, which finally did not dissipate uselessly into nothing when it reached the ring, but formed into a structure and flashed a dim glow at the tip of the horn. “Thanks!” I squeezed the mare in my embrace again, breathing in the light caramel smell coming from her mane with pleasure. Damn! I might not stink like a cat from a garbage dump - I don't know why ponies take so long to get dirty - but it's like... I haven't showered in five days, so... “Sorry...” “Don't mention it, Nightmare. Happy to help.” Caddie smiled, lowering her eyes. “We have to go.” “Yeah, of course.” I tried to get back to a serious sentiment. The bags were routinely manipulated onto my shoulders, and the remaining vial of medicine went into them. It had, after all, been given to me, so why should it go to waste? - and I headed for the exit from the cell. Freedom.
56. For Your FriendsAuthor's Note "No one has greater love than this, to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. Gospel of John, ch. 15, vr. 13" Original author's note. 56. For Your Friends The clatter of four pairs of hooves echoed through the empty corridor. Not particularly fancy, not particularly large and high, illuminated only by lamps underground corridor led to where rarely a foot of an aristocrat stepped: a dungeon, some technical rooms, one of the armory ... Despite the presence of the latter, there were no guards on the way. Strange... “How did you and Shining only have enough power to even get everyone away from the arsenal?” I was immediately impressed by the massive doors, unguarded by anyone, with a sign that said so. Maybe it's a standard of life here - ponies, damn them... “Princess Celestia ordered the gathering of everyone in the throne room. I suppose she wasn't referring to those on duty, but Shining saw fit, in his current area of responsibility, to interpret that instruction as directly as possible.” Contrary to expectation, Cadence did not smile at the ingenuity of her future groom, but only turned even more sullen. “A good way to win some time for us...” I grinned, wondering how the desperate lieutenant was going to keep his position after that. No, if by the guards’ words their captain had gone away for some time, then there’s no one to stop Shining... But if he returns - it will be hell loose. “By the way Cadence... Why is this gathering happening?” "She...” My co-conspirator drooped for a moment. “The day before yesterday, my aunt summoned the Keepers of the Elements here. I don't think it takes much guessing... There was some delay that made her extremely angry, but I'm guessing the meeting today is related to their arrival. Princess was going to meet them in person - perhaps soon or right now. I don’t know.” Holy shit... It looks like they wanted to execute me with pathos and in front of a big crowd... What a cocky bastard, ay!.. “I don't think it threatened me much." I chuckled. “I'm sure half of the Elements would refuse to participate. Or, at the very least, they would need a very good reason and proof. Or... Damn, how is Luna doing?” I stumbled at the thought, reflexively braking my companion with my telekinesis at the base of her tail, causing her to stop and turn to me with a cringy face. “She's got a lot, Nightmare. Let’s go, I’ll tell you on the way, we don't need to lose time.” She moved on again. “Yeah, of course...” I mumbled, moving like a stern wave. I don't know why, but knowing that "got a lot" was not "Luna is dead" made me feel so much better. This blue idiot is still alive! That’s good. That’s good... “The poor dear has only recently regained consciousness and is still very weak. The medponies think she'll be without magic for at least a month, due to severe exhaustion and severe damage to her magical channels, and... Admittedly, if I hadn't visited her after I woke up, I would have taken my aunt's word about you for sure." Caddie sighed guiltily. “But the first thing I heard from Luna was that you were innocent, and only after making sure that the sudden loss of consciousness wouldn't interrupt her now on the most important thing, she told me a little more. You're real heroes, and I'm sorry that... that's how it turned out.” “You mean, if the meeting wasn't there, you and everyone would have left me behind bars until the end?” I asked with a kind of morbid, hysterical curiosity, wishing I could see her eyes. “Forgive me, Nightmare, but..." Cadence paused for a few seconds, hanging her head. “I've known aunt Tia personally for about thirty years, and she's never once given a single reason to question her word or decision. Not a single one.” “Yeah, against that background...” I hummed sadly, feeling a painful prick somewhere deep inside. “And Luna then?..” “Even if you really are guilty and she was just protecting you, it's a clear sign that she doesn't hold a grudge and doesn't wish it back on you. So to punish you so easily and harshly would not be quite fair. And she didn't just hold a grudge - she clung to me and wouldn't let me go until I promised to save you, Nightmare. I... I couldn't say no to her.” “Really...” I mumbled, slowing my pace involuntarily. Luna, abyss, what are you?.. What do I have to do with you?!.. Thanks, I guess, but... Damned horse, fucking hell... “Nightmare, let’s hurry up, please!” The alicorn called me. I nodded mechanically and took a step forward, but then I cursed softly, tripping over the step and getting an indignant look in return for these words. Stairs. At last the basement was over... After scaring off a couple of maids who were chatting nicely behind a decorative column, we went up to the first floor, to a vast and high, ornate corridor. The Sun's rays played merrily through the colored stained-glass windows on the smooth pinkish marble of the floor. At a quick pace, almost at a trot, we passed another group of servants who were watching us with anxious whispers, and we glided past three repairmen, stomping somewhere with a ladder and a set of bags and spatulas... The guards were still absent: unsupervised Armor with his free interpretation put it to a great use. As I followed the colorful tail of the Princess of love, I cast a thoughtful glance at the huge windows. In fact, here it was, an escape. I take out the window, jump out, and then the wings would do the job. Simple and reliable... I sighed, quickening my pace to catch up with the alicorn, that went forward during the time of my short thoughtfulness. I can't walk away like that. I mean, I can, yeah... But what would happen to Tia? I could try to calm myself down with the hopes, that she'd "get over it," but something hints me it wouldn't go away by itself. If I'm right in my assumptions, and Daybreaker really was able to take over the body, she won't give it back. I don't know how or in what form she existed in Tia's head, but remembering how reluctant she was to remember the bad old days, I doubt the arrogant, cocky pyromaniac was given a word in there. And what she will do now, having finally got her hands on it, I can't even guess. It's possible that she'd do such a thing, that Celestia will remember even these times with a great reluctance. It’s dangerous to leave everything as it is. It shouldn't be left as it is. And what would become of Tia, trapped in her own body in the far corner of her mind? In the long run, if she dies, so does Equestria. And if Daybreaker gets her hands on me, I don't know what she'll do to Luna... Damn it. That's why we can't leave it like this! It’s!.. Abyss, everyone's gonna get hurt, and it's not like they're gonna survive it. Yes, Cadence had some kind of a plan. There seemed to be some kind of a safe place where she could, in theory, think of further actions, or perhaps try to influence Celestia - Daybreaker! - through the dream world. And if I can work with dreams as well as I have in the past days, maybe I can somehow negotiate through them with... Who? Daybreaker? Let's not forget that Tia might not even be there, to some extent, right now! And if the fucking pyromaniac suddenly also knows some kind of cure for interfering with dreams, maybe that drink would work for liquidating me, too? Then it's a lost cause... I won't make that deal, I'll just end up in the position of an underground terrorist. I'll be chased by everyone and everywhere, with no way to influence the decision. And sooner or later they'll get me and put me back in that cell. And the same goes for Cadence, but in the next one, just in case... And while I’m running around forests and stashes, Daybreaker is going to have a blast and she won't accept any refuses. Abyss. And what should I do if I stay? Or I should leave?.. “Nightmare, don't lag behind!” Caddie called me. “Yeah, coming.” I replied thoughtfully, hastening the pace, which became slow upon the sad thoughts. No, damn it, I can't do like that! If Tia - when! - gets back and looks around at her second part's doing... But, maybe... Am I imaging the things worse than they really are? I bit my lip tensely, and took another step in response to another call. No, damn it, I’m not and this is the worst thing! She was, in canon, a very arrogant and slightly inadequate version of Tia. By the way, the thestrals here unkindly called her the Fury of the Sun and called her queen - to which Celestia herself always reacted painfully. I had once asked Luna's assistant what the story was, and that was why I had no illusions about Daybreaker. She would make a mess of things for sure! And no one is gonna like it... She has to be stopped, right now. But how, heroic hero? Daybe, if I remember correctly, in the canon was quite a match for canon Nightmare, and I... Well, what to do then? While thinking, I didn't notice Cadence leading me in the famous corridor. The narrow lancet windows of the old Canterlot castle glowed brightly in the sunlight, making me squint after the artificial light of one of the inner corridors with the seemingly endless doors of some reception rooms. The Elements. It clicked in my head when I thought for a moment about the stained glass windows and remembered the one near the entrance to the throne room. Daybreaker had brought the Keepers of the Elements here, and if it wasn't too late, and if Cadence wasn't mistaken, she should be meeting them right now. And if I can convince them that there is nothing left of Celestia but a disguise, then... I stopped, not responding to my guide's call at the fork that led us away from the places I knew, staring grimly at my feet. The presence of the Elements not only gave me some kind of chance, but it essentially deprived me of any choice. Now I simply had no right to leave. At all. Just go out and fight, and then, as luck would have it. For Tia, for Equestria, for my friends, for my own life. I remember the villains in canon liked to pressure the Elements through Fluttershy... And what can an alicorn, which lost all sense of humor, do with her? She can just refuse to go against me... I shook my head violently, but the image of the sweet, kind pegasus tortured with fire spells flashed in my mind. What about Rarity? Pinkie? What would become of them all? And what Daybreaker - and Tia with her! - will do with Equestria? With her idea, that's been alive for centuries? And what will become of her when she comes to her senses and sees the deeds of her hooves? Tia, the kindest pony - she would... It would just kill her... No. I don't want it to be like... That! For Celestia, my friend, how kind she is, how impossible not to love and want so much to trust, to disappear without a trace... No. I cannot let that happen. Even if it is risky, even if it is partly unreasonable, even if it is... scary, if we’re honest, but... “Nightmare, what is going on with you?!..” Cadence yanked me back into reality, shaking me so hard, that my teeth literally snapped. “Let’s go, please! There will be no other ways after!” “Go alone, Caddie.” I finally made my mind. “W... What?..” She stepped back perplexedly. “B-but Nightmare, you're!.. What has happened, hey?.. Where are you going to? Wait!..” The last words were shouted into my back by the confused alicorn. “Just doing what I have to do, Cadence." I said, pausing for a moment. “And you go do what you have to do. I... I can't leave everyone behind, leave it like this and go away. Just in case - farewell. And thank you.” In the hovering silence, my hooves clattered lonely down the empty corridor, and a heartbeat echoed in rhythm. Infinity later, the feeling of staring into the back of my head was gone. Only a fractional staccato of almost galloping footsteps, heading in the opposite direction was behind me. Well... I hope I can catch Daybreaker and the Keepers on the landing pad - it's not far. And I also hope, that my farewell will be of no use. And everyone who gathers there will watch the sunset tonight. ... The gates rattled shut behind me. In the thick, molasses-like silence, my hooves clattered across the stone of the landing pad, towards my fate and the seven ponies watching me constantly. I made it in time. “Ni-i-ightmare Mo-o-on.” ‘Celestia’ prolonged with a barely hidden triumph, with such a uncharacteristic - impossible! - dangerous squint and maliciously anticipatory grin. Tia would never do that. I shuddered involuntarily at the distinct, painful sensation that the alicorn's body in front of me was stretched tightly over someone else... There was something in her facial expression, movement, and gaze that was elusive, wrong, that frightened me into shivering. “Twilight!” The alicorn commanded, still looking at me. “Equestria needs your help! Use the Elements! End this horror once and for all! You shouldn't have come, Nightmare. But no, it's even good...” She lowered her voice, smiling creepy again. “Forgive my impertinence, Your Highness, but what you told me has little to do with what I saw with my own eyes when I spoke to Nightmare Moon in person. She is not a villain!” “That’s right, Your Fireness!” Rarity and Pinkie crossed the space between us in a few steps and stood next to me. “Thanks.” I whispered hardly - there was a lump in my throat. In the deafening silence that followed, as if stunned by what had happened, Flutty came over to me, just looking into the eyes of the snowy alicorn and hastily hiding her gaze, twitching on trembling and bending legs. Following the pegasus with a gaze, I lifted my eyes to meet the “Tia’s” ones. I saw ire, perplexity and... Something like a hurt. “How do you dare?!” She hissed, looking at the ones, who were standing next to her. “You lyin’, your ‘ness, lyin’ to beat the band - this is why you're laughed at.” Applejack fixed her hat. “No truth behind ya words.” Earthpony shook her head reproachfully and crossed the invisible line as well, standing next to Fluttershy and giving the others on the other side a frown. “If even Applejack says so, then there’s no doubt.” Twilight sighed bitterly. “By your latest letters... I've studied with you for years, Princess Celestia, and you've never said or written anything like this before! I don't understand what's going on here and with you, but..." The unicorn looked down and sighed. “You know what? If you were Princess Celestia - I'd tear anyone for you!” Dash looked at the alicorn. “But you - whoever you are - are not her, since I don't have this desire, and Jacky is in doubt as well! Let’s go, Twilight.” Rainbow nudged her suppressed friend with a wing. “We'll find out what you've done to our Princess - and you'll regret if you thought of hurting her! Am I right, girls?” The pegasus asked as she and Twilight joined the friendly row of ponies beside me. “You're overreacting, darling! Just Her Highness... Is out of control a bit and should calm down!..” “Why everyone has left me again?!” The alicorn, alone, panted with frustration and anger as she slammed her front hooves down on the stone of the platform. I noted absently how sparks spattered from beneath the hooves. It was a hell of a blow... When I looked up, I couldn't help but shudder: the gaze of the strange, broken, elongated pupils on the yellow-orange flame of the iris and the black-burgundy sclera was piercing to my bones. “E-e... “Again”?..” I didn't understand who asked that, hurriedly counting the heat resisting shield for a group. Will blow us like it’s nothing!.. “No one ever wanted me!” "Celestia” was rapidly evaporating, revealing to the dazed and frightened exclamations of her friends the real appearance of our opponent. The mane and the tail flashed in flames, the fur took on an elusive orange hue, the cutie mark changed. And the impressive fangs became visible as soon as the mare opened her mouth. Daybreaker, in all her splendor, was impressive. The only thing that spoiled her appearance was Tia's inappropriate-looking regalia. “O, Celestia!.. W-who is that?!..” “Fiery bearcat!” “It’s like me and Luna some time ago. The dark side of Princess Celestia.” I took a step towards the flaming alicorn, that was gnashing teeth. Her gaze was a wall of longing and doom. Yeah, we have the Elements... The gate swung open with a rumble, and the ground rapidly filled with the clatter of hooves. “Auntie!.. Oh no...” Cadence, which was about to rush forth, froze near me in fright. “What is going on here?!” Luna's Canterlot voice swept around, even though the Princess of the Night was swaying in the wind from weakness. She was gently supported by Blueblood on her right and Dark Whisper on her left. “Tia...” She panted shockingly, coming closer. Daybreaker looked around at the crowd and retreated a few steps. “I don't know who you are, but you shouldn't have harmed and pretend to be our Princess!” Rainbow stomped with her hoof. “Girls, let’s smash this monster with the Elements!” The call had an effect: Twilight hesitantly stepped forward, and the others began to form a semicircle behind her. "Let's smash with the Elements” - that's like me then, right? To send to the Moon, preferably as long as possible?.. I looked in Daybreaker's seemingly frightening but desperate eyes. What would become of her?.. Maybe the Elements would spare her, if it was up to them. And if the users decide? Those who are now staring with righteous anger at an absolute enemy? And she's... like me?.. I’m not going to find out what would become of her. This world's got my experience. “No one is going to be smashed.” I demonstratively stepped onto the line of fire. “Hey!..” “Nightmare, what are?!..” “Nighty, wait!..” “Disperse a little, don't breathe down at my neck.” I waved away from the indignant, perplexed and frightened voices with a wing. A simple way is often a wrong one Tia said so. And I want to save her without the necessity of stepping over someone's dead body. Especially over her sister in misfortune. One who is created to support and love her maker - even if she doesn't understand it for some reason. “I can kill you, Nightmare.” The fiery mare stepped back reflexively when I closed in. “I’m dangerous!” So familiar... “I know. In our first conversations, I told Tia pretty much the same thing, because when I realized myself, she was the enemy of Luna - and therefore of me. But believe me - I’m not your enemy. What’s your name?” “Why do you need it? What are you up to?!” “I want to understand with whom I’m dealing with.” “To get rid of afterwards?” Daybe chuckled wistfully. It was as if her mane became smaller and darkened a little, like dying out. “To try to help. And I hope without the extreme measures...” “To help... Of course! No one ever helped me - and now you will?” She sniffed distrustfully. I was silent. Just... If not me - then who? Who will understand and listen to you, Fiery one?.. “Daybreaker. Satisfied?” She whipped herself with her tail irritably. “Daybreaker...” I said as if tasting the name. “Why did you want to get rid of me?” “Because Celly wanted to!” The alicorn's mane flamed for a moment. “That's all she thought about after the nightmares! That you'd take away her Luna, who's always with you, pouring her heart out to you, but she won't talk to her and won't even try to see her anymore! I don't know what Celly sees in that wretched mare who's always spoiling us and who she couldn't stand herself before... Doesn't matter now! You wanted to take it away, and for some reason Celly was afraid to defend it! She was doing some gibberish! I offered to help her, but she wouldn't listen. As always... She pushed me into a corner like she didn't need me, and just forgot about me..." The fiery mare stared down at her feet. Her mane, darkened to near red, shortened and swayed like a fading campfire in the wind. The hooves clattered unevenly, and Luna, supported by Cadence, stopped to my right. “She never needed me!” Daybreaker said through her teeth, not paying attention to the ones who came closer. “Though I know a lot of things better than she does! I helped her hold on to power when this." The white alicorn nodded towards Luna anyway. “Ruined our country!” It’s still not the “I’m a better version of you, Celestia!”, but somewhere close... “I've been helping her! Advising her! Supporting her! And she!.. One day she just shoved me into the far corner of her mind, leaving me to exist in darkness and timelessness, and forgot about me... Why?! For what?!” Daybreaker's gaze seemed to penetrate everyone in the room, including me. There was something about it... As if the alicorn wanted to cry, but just didn't know how. Cadence was silent, burying her head in Luna's neck. “While the nightmares were eating her up, she couldn't make up her mind about anything, foolishly running from thought to thought. And then she luckily lost her lauded self-control! And when you struck your blow, I could strike mine and take her body away from her! Let her sit in the corner where you put me! I hoped that I could do all the things she wouldn't dare do, and then she would see everything and understand!..” “Understand what?” “Understand, that I’m not useless and!.. And!..” Daybe moved her ears irritably not being able to find the words. “She needs me!” She finally said. “I’m strong! Determined! I could do what she had only had the courage to think and talk about all this time! Kill you!” A golden shoe was put on my chest furiously. “To make her.” Now it was the same, but with Luna, who almost lost her balance. “Belong to Celly and only Celly! Always! And drop the pink one in the dungeon for not being good enough in governing and taking too much time for herself!” Cadence sobbed dully. “And you think Tia would have liked this... eagerness?” I looked at the Princess of love and gave the fiery mare a hard look. She’s riding hard. “And how would she see all this if you locked her in the depths of your mind?” “Why does it matter?!” Daybreaker flamed angrily again. “I'd have told her!” “And she would have accepted you after a killing? After imprisoning her niece?” “She would have understand!.. But all this chatting doesn't have any purpose at all.” Day ended with a cracked voice, drooping and losing her brightness as sharp. “Bring your Elements here, let’s get this over with. Celly would be only happy to know, that... That I’m... I’m no more.” What an unhappy and silly horse you are... “Day... Daybe, can you get Celestia's body back?” “What for?!” The alicorn recoiled back. “So that she would put me back into the darkness and forget there?!.. No! No!!!” I sighed. Make you kick the bucket is easier, but... Tia didn't do the same with me, did she? “I want to talk to her. About you. I... No, I can't promise for her, but I’ll do whatever I can to make sure she doesn't... leave you again.” “And I’ll do the same.” Luna closed her eyes. “I had once abandoned Nightmare, who was to me what you are to Celestia, and I can hardly forgive myself now for that monstrous mistake. But I can still keep my sister from making exactly the same one. And I will.” “And... And I...” Cadence panted, dashing the tears away with her wrist. “It shouldn't be like that...” “You won't make that!” In the eerie eyes splashed despair mixed with a kind of wild, distrustful hope. “We will. If not now, then after a few days. We will definitively.” I made a fast step forth and embraced the lost alicorn, that was left by everyone. “Hey, what are you doing?!” She tried to resist, but it was half-hearted. “Hug you for good luck, Day.” I chuckled wryly, feeling the tears come to my eyes. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed that everyone seemed to be gathered around, not being able to wait. “Give Tia back to us. Please.” I hugged her tighter for the last and stepped back. “But... I’m...” “Tia is kind. You would know.” “She's silly, not kind. And if she agrees, then only because of that.” Daybe grumbled, looking at the floor. “I... You really won't forget about me?” “Don't worry, sugarcube. You are a boogie, sure, but didn't make evil just 'cause wanted to, but 'cause ignorance and misunderstandin’ Princess will surely forgive ya! And we'll ask her for you, that's a fine.” It seems our “sideway, one-to-one” dialog was intensely listened to by all who were not lazy... That's good. “Fine, I... I’m not needed anyone here, anyway. The words are nice, but you won't accept me, anyway... If I'm lost, so be it!..” Daybreaker muffled, and she swayed and began to change rapidly. The elusive orange hue disappeared from her fur. Tia's bright sun shone brightly on her thighs again, and her mane flowed with the gentle colors of dawn in the wind. Princess Celestia, having regained her balance, opened her bottomless pink eyes, framed by long beautiful lashes, and looked around in confused bewilderment. “N-nightmare?!.. Cadence?.. I!.. What?..” The alicorn glanced helplessly around the crowd. “Luna!!! You're alive!!!” Alicorn rushed to her sister and froze, pulling blue one into her embrace with a squeak from Luna. “Luna... Lulu... I...” She sat up carefully, allowing the unbalanced Princess of the Night to lean and practically lie on top of her. Tears rolled from the corners of her closed eyes with trembling lashes. We all somehow involuntarily spread apart, leaving only obviously “blue-screened” Dark Whisper and simultaneously joyful and tense as a string Twilight. “Princess Celestia! Are you alright?” She decided to ask, hesitating a bit. “T-Tactfulness”. I rolled my eyes. “I’m... Yes, Twilight, I guess so...” Tia exhaled gently, clutching her pale-smiling sister firmly in her hooves and wings, without opening her eyes. “Luna, my moonbeam, is a live, and everything else... Thank you, my faithful student. If not the Elements, I would...” Opening her eyes and dashing the tears away from her eyelashes, Celestia smiled hesitatingly. “Sorry, but...” Twi hesitated. “It wasn't us, Your ‘Ness.” Applejack shook her head. “That’s Nightmare’s and ya sister with Princess Cadence's thing - they persuaded your flame-maned, this...” The farmer made an uncertain gesture. “But with a condition of you giving her a chance.” “Persuaded?.. A chance?!..” Celestia shook her head in disbelief and flicked her ears and stared at Luna, and then at me. “Imagine that, Princess.” I chuckled. “By the way, welcome back.” “I’m not... Fine...” She closed her eyes for a few moments. “How long... Have I been away? And what I... What has she done?” “Four-ish days?” I suggested uncertainly, glancing at silent Luna and Cadence. “What's the last thing you remember?” “I...” Tia frowned thoughtfully, stroking her sister’s head reflexively. “I woke suddenly in the middle of the night. Trying to figure out what might have awakened me so untimely, I sensed some powerful ritual somewhere in the side of Luna's chambers. I rushed there, thinking that she was in danger, but the night guards refused to tell me what was going on or let me in. And I... Oh...” Celestia drooped and sharply yanked her hoof away from her sister’s head. That's how it was... Apparently, my brief encounter with the nightmare had disturbed the stability of the dream, causing Tia to wake up. And Tia, in her progressive paranoia, perceived it as a sense of danger - and found it. The spell rest, I realized, could be shielded if necessary, but why would we need it?.. So Princess raced to the lighthouse in the night, with guards and misgivings... “And I gathered my faithful guards, put on my armor, and... and entered by force, and I cast my wrath upon the ponies that protected you, and broke your injunction, sister... Forgive me..." Celestia finished quietly, turning away and not daring to raise her head. “Injunction?..” I voiced what appeared to be a common question from the crowd, who were crossing their perplexed eyes at Luna. “Well..." It was time for the blue one to try to hide her eyes. "I shouted in a fervor that my sister was no longer allowed to set foot in my house, and..." The Princess of the Night stumbled, automatically glaring at me with a guilty look. “And... I didn't think you'd take it so literally." She looked up at her sister pitifully now from the bottom upwards. “Then I wanted to tell you, but I forgot with all the business... That's it: I went and tried to make peace, but the ban... I hadn’t decided to lift it. Blue idiot.” The blue idiot sighed, waving away aside hopelessly. “Nightmare.” Celestia gave me a gloomy gaze, squashing her precious Lulu even tighter. “Only you could call my sister such an unflattering name, as she has now said about herself!” “But what she said about me is sometimes sadly accurate." Luna retorted before I could even open my mouth. I was tugged on my tail in a familiar way. When I turned around, I noticed a fiery look in Rarity's eyes, who responded to my attention with a pout and a shake of her head. “Five hours of ballroom dancing in a dress with a corset and a huge pink bow on the back!” The unicorn promised me with her eyes - not words. “And you broke in and found Nightmare Moon full of power and magic and Luna barely alive." Cadence continued half-questioningly, bringing the conversation back to the main topic. “Barely alive?..” Tia chuckled bitterly, starting to again stroke the pale blue mane. “When I came in and saw her, I thought that... That Luna is no more. And... And...” “I’m alive, I’m near, Ti.” Now it was Luna’s turn to tighten her grip on the barely holding elder sister. “Everything is good. The battle with your nightmare may have been very hard, but Nightmare did it. No one else will disturb your sleep.” “We did it, blue one.” I corrected with pressure, not finding the desire to be silent for some reason. “If you hadn't come and taken that attack that was meant for me, then... I wouldn't have woken up, I guess.” “Nightmare?” Tia looked at me in surprise, as if gauging and weighing me again. “The mane? Honestly, I thought...” The Princess of the Sun became confused and looked away. Many have been thinking... “My congratulations, Nightmare.” Luna smiled with the edges of her lips, turning back. “But really - where from?” “From our nightmare.” I answered vaguely, not wishing to remember how I'd dug my fangs into the supple, cool ether of the panicking and twisting creature. Nor I was wishing to share the unnecessary nuances with others. Most were satisfied with the answer, but Tia's slightly furrowed brow indicated that she suspected something. Luna's rounded eyes reflected a complete understanding of the method. It was unclear whether there was more fear, astonishment, or respectful admiration. “I guess that fire mare that was in your place decided to do the same and arrested Nightmare, and today she was going to judge." Cadence brought the conversation back to a constructive point. “Yes...” Tia sighed, drooping sharply. “When I saw Luna and decided, that she's no more... I couldn't, and... Daybreaker hadn't missed her chance. All I remember is a strange sort of half-dream, with nothing but my thoughts, until my... waking up here. Thank you for stopping her - in this way or another. And I'm sorry you had to see that." Tia finally hid her gaze from everyone. “That mad mad monster that slumbers deep inside me, waiting for a chance to break free, to bring fear to everyone around me in its endless rage and to destroy everything like wildfire...” I usually call Luna a hypocritical fool, but here, I'm sorry, Tia, I call you one. You're a hypocritical, white fool... And, judging by the looks on her face, there wasn't much of anyone who shared Tia's position after meeting Daybreaker in person. Even Luna, looking at her sister in a dumbfounded way, began to try to get out of the embrace as much as her small forces allowed her to. “Celestia! You!.. Let me go!.. O-ouch!.. Thanks, Cadence...” The Princess of the Night got out of the embrace of stunned and visibly upset Tia, almost fell down, tangled in her shaky legs, but was caught and supported by the pink alicorn. “I... I can't believe what I just heard! Is my kind and merciful sister, who had thought of Nightmare Moon as a monster, who spared and...” Luna looked at me, laying back her ears for a second. “And, m-m, gave her a second chance despite... All the quarrels and problems...” Luna, who was either tired or just not able to find the words, went silent and leaned wearily against Cadence. “The one who taught this very Nightmare Moon about kindness and friendship and convinced her that she was too bad about herself and deserved something good, too." I picked up on. “And now you're talking like that? You?!” I shook my head in some prostration. “You don't understand!” The Princess of the Sun got on her feet and looked up reluctantly, rolling her jaw and tilting her ears stubbornly. “She's insane and relentless! Coming then, when I was trying to hold the country together and restore order after Luna - and Nightmare - had been banished, she immediately began to advise the most radical methods and ways, the cruelest sentences, the most heartless solutions!..” The Keepers gave Tia disbelieving, dumbfounded, and pitying looks. Dark Whisper squinted unkindly, Blueblood stared gloomily at the floor. “I succumbed to her in many ways - and I bitterly regret it to this day." Tia finished grimly, her voice lowered sharply. “But don't think that after I realized what I had done and began to correct everything to the best of my ability, promising to do without extreme measures wherever there was any possibility, she calmed down and became silent! Her thoughts, her whispers were always there, silently sounding in my head, calling to evil and cruelty! Convincing me that this was the best and the right thing to do!” Tia shook her head, as if she couldn't believe what had just come out of her own mouth. Luna stubbornly looked up from under the brows, and her aide, frowning, rolled her jaw angrily. “I managed, with difficulty, to drown out that whisper, to push it away, to forget about it, to learn not to listen to it... At one time I even hoped that it would fade forever, but... But after the nightmares, it always came back. Like this time as well...” Celestia sighed. “Her words grew louder every day, I even... I even caught myself listening to them sometimes! And then I saw Luna, and I believed that death had gotten to her, and... And she managed to take over. And now I can only hope that the monster hasn't done something irreparable.” Tia sighed again, as if summing up her speech, and looked around at everyone with a stern and determined gaze, lingering on Luna and me. “I don't think she's done much wrong - well, except for my arrest, which wasn't a happy emotion." I said to break the silence, which was pierced on all sides by judgmental and uncomprehending glances back at Celestia. “If she had collected the Elements a couple of days earlier, of course, I could have gotten some...” “Not at all, darling!” Rarity clucked her hoof in indignation. “We wouldn't use that kind of force against a pony we know as a good friend." The unicorn glared at Dash, who was about to object. “Because of a made-up and ugly accusation!” “You do know that by behaving this way you call into question the security of the state, don't you, mare?” Blueblood asked unfriendly, deliberately looking past Rarity. “In that case, there had to be a trial, and it had to be fair, so that I, with bitterness in my heart and tears in my eyes, still went along with it!” The milliner’s nose perked up, only to look at me with an apologetic look. “Thanks for the trust.” I mumbled under my breath, feeling a lump coming towards my throat. “Well... I any case, I think I’m lucky that you hadn't been gathered here right off the bat.” I drew the line, overcoming the emotions. “Well, how to put it...” Applejack scratched her hat at the back of her head, blushing her cheeks awkwardly. “We got a letter the day before yesterday, sayin’ it was urgent, it was a matter of state... But we wasn't in a position... to do it.” “Hey, Jackie! Don't you tell it, please?!” Rainbow Dash pushed her indignantly. “Well, we followed that strange zebra, and got into a poison joke... Oh..." Now the pegasus, blushing awkwardly, scratched the back of her head. “Pinkie! You've got the details.” I winked at the pink earthpony and chuckled. “I don't want to talk about it.” She made a sad expression on her face and answered with a surprisingly deep bass. Fluttershy hid behind her wings, the others chuckled. “And you, Princess, are smiling for nothing." I warned her, poking her with my hoof, noticing the inappropriately happy expression on Celestia's face. “We haven't forgotten about Daybreaker.” The fun faded away as if it had never existed. It even seemed as if the Sun was dimmer at the same moment, making the world a little grayer. “I don't understand what there’s to discuss, Nightmare.” Tia looked at me with a frown. “Or my arguments were so unconvincing for you?” “So unconvincing, sister.” Luna replied instead of me. “We’ve talked to her, and she agreed voluntarily to give the body back to you! And even though the Elements of Harmony were behind us, it was not their power that made Daybreaker do this! I'm sorry, but... you're wrong to call her a monster.” “It’s like you weren't listening!” The Princess of the Sun became indignant. “She!..” “She's ready to fight any enemies in any quantities if they get in your way to get your admiration, to get your kind gaze!” I raised my voice and moved towards Celestia, who seemed to be in a loss after such a turn. “Some Nightmare is trying to take your sister away? Execute Nightmare! Sister doesn't pay enough attention? Lock her up in the tower - let her belong only to you!” “And you're talking like there’s something good in this!” The snowy alicorn pierced me with a reproachful gaze. “She!..” “Not “she”! You!” I put the tip of my hoof on the edge of the Princess's nose, silencing her either with surprise or outrage. “You, Tia! And I, while being a creature of the same origin as Daybreaker, can surely say that!” “Say what?..” She became lost. “She is absolutely dependent on your opinion and your desires." I explained with a sigh to the silly Princess. “What you put into her, that's what she will become. Like a foal.” “But how's?.. But how could I?..” Celestia looked around hopelessly, being under pressure. And sharply drooped, when her gaze fell on Dark Whisper. “You told me yourself." Luna quietly confirmed something only the two of them knew, looking at her sister sympathetically. “It's... I made her like this..." Tia's whisper was so quiet that even I, standing at arm's length, could barely make out the words. “Give her a chance. Like you did with me.” I tried to look in the Princess’ eyes. “I... I can’t.” She looked at me with a look of confusion and fear that was so strange to her, and retreated a step back. “If... Then she... I... No!” “You're afraid, sister.” Luna nailed her. “And you're making the same mistake that I made with Nightmare, out of misunderstanding and fear of her. A mistake you won't forgive yourself for later. And she won't forgive you, either." The Princess of the Night looked at me briefly. “Can she forgive me now? When I've been trying to forget her for almost a thousand years? If it was as much for her as it was for me, these few days..." Tia shivered, wrapping her wings around herself for a second. “No one said it's gonna be easy, Princess. But it’s not too late to fix something yet. Not too late yet.” “She's so-o-o-o sad out there all by herself." Pinkie said with her ears hanging down, and looked at Tia with a pleading look. “P-please, don't... Well... Don't push her away. If... If it’s possible, of course...” Flutty’s whisper followed, hiding her gaze. The white alicorn stared up at the Sun in intense thought. The silence was broken only by gusts of wind. The eyes of everyone present crossed over to Celestia. Some looked hopeful, some encouraging, some smiling. The thestral continued to frown warily, Blueblood bit his lip grimly, also thinking about something. Luna had a slight, calm smile on her face, as if she knew in advance that her sister would agree. “I...” Tia finally unfroze. “I have to try. Even if I'm right about her, but... You were right to rebuke me for hypocrisy. I shouldn't deny anyone the chance to make amends. What should I do?” The alicorn looked at me. “Teach your... Neighbor with all sorts of things.” I shrugged with my wings. “Listening, hearing, explaining what's wrong, and how it's really right. Give your body control for good behavior, I don't know... And then one day you'll put the Elements back together - and we'll all mentally ask Harmony to give Daybe her own body, like I once did. That’s all.” “That’s all.” Celestia chuckled uncertainly. “As if it’s so easy...” “Any way starts with a first step, auntie.” Cadence nodded cheerfully. “Princess Celestia! You are always successful - and you will be even now!” Twilight shook her mane convincingly. “Yeah! We’ll always have the time to get rid of! It’s not that hard to gather up, is it?” Dash chuckled carelessly, but melted away under reproachful gazes. “Hey, what bad did I say?..” “Come on, Princess. Talk to her.” I smiled at Tia with the edges of my lips. “Okay, I... I’ll try. Thank you for the support.” Her smile was a bit forced and she looked at everyone around. “M-m... Day... Daybreaker?..” The alicorn froze, as if looking somewhere inside herself with glazed eyes. With my head down, I smiled. Tia had once given me a chance and tried to tell me about friendship, and now I'd talked her into giving someone a chance. And, I think, not in vain. It's nice to do good, after all. It's easy and peaceful. And it just feels good to help someone. It's a nice day today. ... “Nightmare, Luna... Cadence! Everypony! I’m sorry... I... I couldn't cope with my own fear and almost ruined... everything." Tia sighed and died out. “And thank you for not letting me make more mistakes. The moment is finally ripe for me to do it.” Stepping towards some jaded Princess of the Sun, I unabashedly embraced her, enjoying the warmth and the sensation of her beating heart. “I must feel sorry. If I hadn't gone to make Luna pay...” I sighed, not knowing what else to say, but I still felt surprisingly at ease. After holding Sunny in my hooves for a few more moments and pulling her close, I reluctantly pulled away. Tia followed me with a bit awkward, but sincere smile. I glanced at the Elementals, too, and found massive happiness and amusement. Except Dash looked like she obviously didn't know where to put herself. Pinkie was smiling ear to ear, and Rarity was carefully wiping the corners of her eyes with a handkerchief. “Nightmare...” Luna stepped to me, being supported by a Cadence's wing. “Will you also accept my plea for forgiveness?” You like to put nice questions on the table, blue one... I looked thoughtfully in her eyes - Luna responded with a firm, determined gaze - I drifted my eyes to my hooves... I... I don't know. I just don't know. “You know, I...” I looked again at my traitor, tormentor, mentor, partner, and savior, just in time to break the silence, which was about to turn from prolonged to awkward. “I could’ve said right now: “Yeah, okay, no problem, forget it”, but... It won't be what I really feel and think." I sighed, not knowing how to put the storm that was raging in my soul into words. Luna drooped. “But also, if I’ll be honest with you.” Rarity, after getting my short gaze, blushed a bit. “I can't say, that it is absolutely impossible and unthinkable. Maybe one day, when this wound is healed a bit... Not today, Luna. And... Thanks for taking that hit.” “You're welcome, Nightmare. Your words are already giving me more than I dared to expect: hope." Luna closed her eyes and smiled peacefully. “Thank you for you readiness to give me a chance. I’ll prove, that you're not mistaken. I’ll tell everyone what had happened there without lies. Who you had been to me and what I had done. And it is your words that will give me the strength to do it.” “Luna, but!..” Celestia leaned forward, looking at her sister with pity. “This lie must be ended.” Luna stepped back a bit, lifting her foreleg in a stopping gesture. “My daughter deserves better than to be a scary and grim legend.” “D-daught-ter?!..” “Oh, hay...” “Luna?!..” Great job, blue one. Thanks, damn it. “Oh, I’m sorry, Nightmare.” The poor mare, apparently noticing my gaze, covered her mouth with the tip of her wing. “You're...” “Of course you can talk like that, if you really want to.” I waved away, rolling my eyes. “Just don't forget that I don't think so, even though it's partially right from the factual point of view.” “Of course, as you say.” Luna agreed in a hurry, and, getting a stunned gaze from her sister, asked pitifully: “Can I tell you everything afterwards?..” Tia, slowing a bit, nodded. In the pause, it was unusual to feel the gradual release of tension. “Well, everything ended well, didn't it?” Pinkie came between us, causing the four alicorns to recoil in surprise. “We need a goodending party!” “Yeah, won't be bad to have one.” I chuckled as I straightened my ears and remembered my plans: “Tia, Cadence, girls - everyone is invited to the spa in Ponyville. We can go to the party too... Luna, you can come too, if the doctors let us go. Daybreaker... Well, you ain't got much choice. And Tia would have to go through it twice for everyone to get some!” Someone snickered. Tia's face changed for a moment, and she seemed to be immersed in an inner dialog. “It seems that something horrible has happened with our Nighty.” Meanwhile, Rarity eyed me with a satirical gaze. “She doesn't desperately fight me and the spa off, only to give up and go and have a lot of fun anyway, but offers herself, first! Are you all right, darling?” “Nope. I’m very tired.” I chuckled in reply at the question and the massive amount of smiles. “I think we could all use a rest and a little celebration." Celestia smiled, causing an animated chatter. “Thank you everybody once again.” Tia stepped back and stood in front of everyone and suddenly, elegantly bowed. “Today you have saved Equestria and me. And you saved the pony that even wasn't given a chance for a life by me in my fear and hypocrisy. Saved her from... From me.” Tia sighed, shutting her eyes for a few long seconds. “This day has taught me a lot of important lessons. From now forth, I’ll try to be more courageous and wiser. Thank you everyone.” While everyone was in a slight stupor, digesting her words, Tia's silhouette floated, and a moment later, from under her torch-like mane, wary orange eyes stared at us. “Nightmare, Luna... It’s hard to believe that you... That Celly... Thank you, yes?..” Daybreaker drooped and, judging by the “sharp” return of Celestia, retreated hastily. “You're always welcome, Daybe.” I chuckled. “And you, Tia... Just don't ever cheat on yourself, okay? If it weren't for your kindness to me and all..." I made an indefinite gesture. “If you hadn't stood so fiercely on your ideal of kindness and friendship, including every conversation with me, I'm afraid things would have been much worse now. For everyone. Keep it that way, ay?” “I’ll try to, Nightmare. Thank you.” “You're welcome... Well... Let’s finally have a cup of tea?” “Surely.” Tia smiled and came closer to us. “But before that, we have to finish one thing: Daybreaker has gathered many ponies for... some significant occasion, and they've been waiting there for some time. Come, we must think of something to say to them on the way.” “Let’s draw a plan!..” “I think!..” “What if?..” I took a step back and chuckled at the disappearing horde of multicolored ponies, discussing their options as they went. They'll figure it out without me, I suppose. And besides... Wait, where's Tia? “Will you tag along at this spontaneous performance, Nightmare?” “As you say.” I shuddered in surprise a bit and moved aside, letting Celestia come to my side. “Thank you, Nightmare Moon.” “You're welcome.” We were silent, walking side by side at a distance from the others, who didn't even seem to notice our absence. In fact... there was something else we needed to talk about... “M-m... Ti?” “Yes, Nightmare?” “Remember that time you offered me your friendship? Is the offer still on the table?” I chuckled awkwardly, turning my gaze away. “Even if it was not, I can always make a new one.” Celestia smiled, judging by the voice. “Will you become my friend, Nightmare Moon?” My soul felt light and joyful. “Of course, Princess.” Not finding the other words instead, I gently slowed Tia down and hugged her. “I'm glad to call you a friend too, Nightmare. Whatever happened between us before and in the future, I believe: we will always find a way out. Together.” I missed that smile. “Thank you for saving me from making such a grave mistake. M?.. And a big thanks from Daybreaker, too.” “Thank you, Ti. For... For damned everything.” I was confused. “Let’s go? Before they lose us?” We cut our embrace and went on. As friends, and with the feeling that, if anything happens, we can always rely on each other. To that bright tomorrow, where everything will be all right for all of us.
Epilogue I. Words About The PastAuthor's Note "A few weeks later. The reporter finally gets what he wanted)" Original author's note. Epilogue I. Words About The Past THE CAPITAL EVENING: Events of the week №5.10.1258 A talk with a legend Author: Persistent Discover I confess, dear readers, that yesterday I had difficulty sleeping. Despite the difficult day at work, even though I already had experience of meetings like this one, I could not calm my thoughts in my head and get rid of the feeling of anticipation. In the morning, as I put on my neatly pressed suit and adjusted my tie, I could only spin the dozens of questions that had been swirling in my head since our first meeting. I've been to the palace, the beautiful home of our beloved and incredible Sun Princess Celestia, several times before. But now my escort took me on a different route. There, on guard of the high gates, the heroes of horror stories, urban legends, and other idle tales stood unwavering as statues, pony pegasi with wings like bats: the thestral. Their commander gave me a stern look, checked some list, and, having singled out his escort, allowed me to enter the night wing of the palace. The mysterious possessions of secret Princess Luna, unseen by the general public, where I had an appointment. The rich furnishings in calm or dark colors, paintings on the walls and the reigning silent calmness there were in stark contrast with the rest of the palace, where usually the glitter, colors and fuss ruled the ball. Under the vaults of the walls of the Night Princess one wants to be reverently silent and to step as quietly as possible in order not to break this strict and a little bit harsh silence. Finally, a somewhat gloomy-looking guard thestral, who seemed to be trying not to let me out of his sight the whole way, turned to one of the doors and pressed the bell. There was permission to enter, and my guide, who opened the door, nodded at me with a silent, insistent invitation to an audience. The pony, whom I had longed to speak to and for whom I had prepared so long for an interview, met me, reclining on the cushions behind a low table, and invited me to join her tea party with an elegant gesture of her shoe. I dared to hesitate for a few moments, admiring the mare before me. The black hair was glossy, complemented by contrasting silver-blue shoes and a breastplate, more like armor than regalia; the incredible mane and tail scattered across the carpet, resembling the night sky dotted with slightly twinkling stars; the turquoise eyes with an unusual vertical pupil, watching me with a slight irony from under the half-closed eyelids. Her Grace Acquired Princess Nightmare Moon was beautiful. “Good day, Persistent. I can see it in your eyes, I'll be in trouble. Make yourself comfortable, don't hover over me. Tea?” She greeted me with an ironic chuckle. I hurriedly settled down at the table, scolding myself for being unprofessionally distracted at such a moment (I'll take that as a compliment - note. NM). “I'm sorry, I was struck down. You are, as always, unparalleled, Nightmare. It's a pleasure to finally meet you.” “Alas, the opportunity did not present itself sooner. Government business - no matter how clichéd it may sound.” “Well, not everything in life happens the way we'd like it to. But nevertheless, I'm glad that you found time for this meeting after all. How are you feeling?” “Surprisingly not bad.” “Well, that's wonderful. So... About three weeks ago, Princess Celestia gave you a big public welcome, thanking you for saving Equestria and lamenting that her sister, Princess Luna, had suffered in a battle in the dream world and couldn't attend the celebration. What happened then?” “Do you know how night nightmares work? They are entities that feed on the negative emotions of sleepers. To get more of those emotions, they pull all sorts of negativity to the surface, which turns into a nightmare dream for the pony. As it feeds, the nightmare grows and becomes stronger. Since dream-walking had essentially been long forgotten in Equestria, and no one dealt with nightmares - many of them have managed to fatten beyond repair, and a powerful enough nightmare, for a second, can tear the fabric of reality and crawl out into our, the material world.” "Wow! Is it dangerous?” “Would it be dangerous if your nightmares came true?” “I guess it would.” “That’s the point. It was almost exactly the kind of thing Luna and I had stopped, and we didn't let it build up the strength to break through here to us. Luna got a beating, I was hurt as well, but we’ve managed, so nopony will face their worst nightmare in real life for a while.” “Thank you.” “That’s the job.” “Back to Princess Luna - how do you comment on her sensational statement? Admittedly, it was like a snowfall on the Summer Sun Celebration and, as many believe, threw a shadow over both herself and Princess Celestia.” “Admitting her mistakes, and that kind of mistakes, and in public, and not having fully recovered from her wounds by that time - that deserves a lot of respect, you know. Admit it - it would have been much easier for her to keep quiet, and no one would have known, but...” “Do you think she did it for you?” “To some extent, perhaps. But for her own sake, too. Conscience is not capable of withstanding everything in the world. But, in any case, I can't help but respect Luna for what she did. Few ones would have had the courage to do it. That's why I, personally, don't see a shadow here.” “And Princess Celestia? After all, according to Princess Luna, it turns out that she interpreted our story rather loosely, at least - in the part of her sister's life.” “If I hadn't come back, there would have been no question at all, but the Elements had suddenly decided that Nightmare Moon would still be useful here. And Tia, like any decent sister, wanted the best for Luna. I doubt, by the way, that she wrote the story herself or directly told them what to write. Though I don't rule it out either. But the ponies could very well have molded this image without her involvement, as they did with the Nightmare Night, for example. Pure folklore.” “By the way, how do you feel about this holiday?” “Masquerading as monsters so that the evil me who wakes up on the Moon once a year, after looking at Equus and getting "taxes from the subjects," would decide that things there are bad enough and change her mind about going back? Strongly thought out, honestly - impressed. One good thing: before the "taxes" were carried to the statues representing me, but now you'll carry them directly to me. I don't know what you did with all that before, but now... It was your idea, your fault!” “Don't laugh like that, please! It... Scares a bit.” “Just a bit? Okay, I’ll work with the evil laughter, “a bit” isn't the thing.” “About that... I've heard in passing that you like to be feared. Is that true?” “It happens when I'm in the mood. But, as a rule, it still annoys rather than amuses me. I start to get angry and forcefully drag the alarmists out from under the tables with my telekinesis.” “I'll try not to be afraid of you without a reason. And I'll ask one of those risky questions that I've heard you might get angry about. May I?” “Someone here just promised not to be afraid - why ask, then? Say it right away - and accept the consequences. You'll be remembered as a hero.” “Well... You once had a serious quarrel with Princess Luna, and even fought with her - although, given her recent confession, the reasons are understandable. What is your relationship now? Are you two at peace now?” “No. But we stopped the hostility, too, for a number of reasons. I won't tell you how she feels about me - you'll ask yourself if an opportunity appears, but I feel about her... I guess you could call it respectful armed neutrality.” “And what does it mean?” “I respect her and am ready to interact for mutual benefit, but I have no desire to communicate just like that, as a friend, and tolerate her around longer than necessary.” “An unexpectedly frank answer from a pony in your position. Do you not fear that your words may be used against you?” “I can't stand politics and backroom games - and yet I just got back from a business trip where all I had to do was them. So, let me be honest: such "exploiters", if they appear, run a great risk of regretting it. Sooner or later the rule "don't try to drag Nightmare Moon into politics" will become unspoken, common knowledge and mandatory for everyone who cares about health.” “It’s... Harsh.” “I'm just warning in advance, so that those who took the risk won't be offended by the fact that "that was cruel and for no reason at all”. It would be easier for me to silence everyone involved, one way or another, than to deal with the aftermath. Or turn them all in to Tia - let her sort it out. Let Daybreaker reeducate them, for instance.” “Yeah, Princess Celestia's second form... it's very awe-inspiring. But you speak of it so calmly, as if such violence would have no consequences.” “Tia will understand me. And if she doesn't, I'll go into exile for ten years, travel around until she cools down. But the next generation, maybe, will realize something for themselves. I like it when everything is simple and clear, and that is not the case in intrigues.” "Alicorns think in generations, don't they?” “Honestly - I’m frightened myself.” “This month probably flew by unnoticed at all for such a long-living creature like you?” “Partially. There was a lot of work to do. Just got done with the nightmare - now I had to make peace between the thestrals and the reality. First the guards in the palace, and then - to fly to them, in the mountains, and try to imitate diplomacy there in general for everyone. I was mostly growling at them and trying to get them to walk in formation, to be honest... It was good that Luna came to a bit of her senses after a week and a half and flew to help me. We worked together for a while, then I came back here. And then, not a week later, you and I met today.” “And, if it's no secret, what happened to the thestrals?” “They don't trust the day ponies, especially they don't trust Celestia, like at all. Some of them want to follow Luna, some of them want to follow me, some of them cry "We can do it ourselves!” and some of them want to call for peace, and some of them want to overthrow Celestia in favor of either Luna or me. In the end, they couldn't decide how, where, and why they should all go together, so they started... let's call it "quarreling”. “Would you agree to rule in place of deposed Princess Celestia?” “Yeah, such a nice “gift” for me, Discovery! Especially since Tia is my close friend, and I won't let anyone to make a coup against her. And Luna has the same title, so it doesn't make sense, even if she had the desire.” “Well, it's a real shame that things went this way with the thestrals... Tell me, did you manage to reconcile them?” “Hard to say. I’m here, not in Solar Fall. But Luna continues to work with them, and at the time of my departure, positive developments were noticeable. Perhaps Luna, sooner or later, will finally succeed in overcoming their stubbornness and radicalism.” “Why did you leave?” “My part of the work there is finished, and I hope I will not be needed anymore, because that in itself would not be a good sign. I cooled the hot heads, cleared the ground for the quiet and fruitful work of Luna, and dealt with my supporters to the best of my ability. The next step is persuasion, the unraveling of a pile of intrigue, and the construction of a system of checks and balances. Luna felt she had to do it herself: the thestrals are her people, after all. So, they are indeed her achievement, which I have no claim to, though some of the thestrals are inclined to think of me, not Luna, as the Great Mother.” “Let's hope Princess Luna succeeds, and that these unusual ponies will soon be free to live among us as friends.” “If nopony runs away screaming in terror, it's possible.” “I hope it won't get like this. And, speaking of unusual ponies, what can you tell us about Daybreaker? Who is she, and what is she like? To tell you the truth, it's unlikely that the vast majority of ponies understand who she is. And quite a few continue to worry about the health of our beloved Princess, including, embarrassingly, her mental health!” “Daybreaker is quite similar to what I was about six hundred years ago. No one can tell you exactly how entities like us appear, though I have some theory, which is also based on personal experience. “Will you share?” “Alicorns, because of their longevity and difference in power, and because of their somewhat isolated position from the other ponies, are very lonely creatures. And when you have so much power, but no friends at all - just your awe-struck subjects, which heed only to your word, none of whom even dare to pay you a compliment or give you a long look - you, sooner or later, involuntarily combine the two and make a friend for yourself. Don't ask how exactly this works - no one knows, for good or for bad. “Admittedly, I find it hard to believe in the loneliness of Princesses... There are so many things, so many ponies around, none of whom will refuse their friendship!” “Then ask Tia to come to an interview. Sit in some restaurant, give her some tea, offer your friendship - why not? See? Prostration for a minute and a pitying look that says, "But you can't do that, she's Princess Celestia!” Here's the bottom line in the form of immortal friends from her own magic, desperate desire, and something else.” “Yeah, I guess... Honestly, I didn't think it was that complicated. Isn't it dangerous to have two souls in one body like that? Aside from the fact that it does look like a mental disorder...” “Call it a disorder... Well, about as much as to call me a disorder. After all, I'm originally an entity of the same order.” “Oh, a thousand apologies!” “Forget it. You are not saying your words, as I understand that. The main thing is that such a definition is rather crude and superficial. Speaking of danger, it is not dangerous if you get along with each other and are able to agree. Otherwise, it might turn out to be like me and Luna. But I can assure everyone that Celestia and Daybreaker get along quite well, and I suppose that in a little while, as the latter gets used to this world and the laws by which it lives, the Elements of Harmony will give her a body of her own, just as they did to me.” “Sounds reassuring.” “I hope that will be the end of it, too. In the meantime, I can assure you, Tia is quite all right. In a way, split personalities are a natural process for alicorns.” “It frightens a little.” “Anything unclear is frightening. But personally, I hope that this process will not occur often enough for us to study it well - two cases are enough. And the rest of the alicorns are better off living without severe depressions and existential crises against the backdrop of loneliness.” “I couldn't agree more. As the theme of loneliness develops, I recall that Princess Cadence recently confessed that she has a special pony, and many are still wondering who the groom-to-be is. Maybe you, as her friend, know who he is?” “I may know, but I, as her friend, will sit and be silent with a cryptic look.” “It's a shame that you are so determined to hide such information!” “If you were a mare, Discovery, I might have whispered a secret in your ear, but alas, alas...” “Sorry, I don't want to ruin the atmosphere and good mood that has arisen, but now I just can't get past another question that you don't like.” “Go on. Just keep in mind that if I’ll cry into my pillow at night after that, it's your fault.” “I don't even know now... Okay. Does the most mysterious Nightmare Moon have someone special?” "No, and there are no plans to do so in the near future.” “After your story about loneliness, I frankly admit that I'm sorry to hear that. In a desperate attempt not to break your heart, I hasten to ask a more pleasant question: do you plan to return to modeling? You made an impression. The dresses from that collection are still popular today! Even Her Highness Princess Luna was seen in one of them, despite your differences!” “I don’t know. It wasn't in the plans, but if the opportunity presents itself, I'll probably think about it. But I'm not likely to work with anyone other than Rarity (the Ponyville fashion designer who created the popular "Symphony of the Night" collection, shown in person by Nightmare Moon, the newspaper's note.). “You two are close friends. How did the release of this collection and its success affect Miss Rarity, if it's no secret?” “She stopped sleeping for almost two months, trying to keep up with the orders.” “Oh... She works alone?” “Yes, and, as far as I know, she has forbidden herself to sew like an assembly line in the future. Her dresses are unique art, not a mass-market product.” “She's going to stop sewing?” “The same thing over a dozen copies at a time, yes. Now she's taken a little break after that race, but as far as I know, she's spending it again in the studio sketching new designs.” “Well, I look forward to seeing more of her work. The critics in the capital turn their noses up at her background and where she lives, but for me, those dresses were great, and Ponyville is a nice little town with very friendly inhabitants.” “Thanks, Persistent.” “Oh, I truly meant that! By the way, given your close friendship, should we all expect to see one of Miss Rarity's new dresses on you again at the Grand Galloping Gala? It's less than six months away, and I heard you're invited, aren't you?” “Yes, unfortunately, no matter how hard I tried, I didn't manage to escape... Don't interrupt me! I gave the invitation to my friend and hoped that I would be forgotten. It turned out that, with the help of some connections, she had reached out to Princess Celestia and asked her to welcome me with a new invitation. So I have it again. Personalized. And with a personal request from Princess not to miss the event. Looks like I' ll have to go, so there's a chance the new dress by Rarity will actually be there for the guests to see. What did you want to ask?” “Sorry, I couldn't resist. But "To wave the Grand Galloping Gala away" sounded, I must admit, very... very unexpected and surprising. What’s the reason?” “As I said before, I don't like politics. And since I doubt there's anything but politics, I don't expect anything interesting for me personally. Going there just to be bored...” “You have very pessimistic views of the reception. Honestly, I didn't expect that.” “We’ll see, of course. Maybe I’ll get lucky and they won't come true?” “Lush receptions are not to your taste. What kind of entertainment do you prefer then?” “Lately I haven't had much leisure time, but in general I like to fly and learn new things. I also like to make jokes and get into trouble. It's not that I like the latter, but it's still my most frequent leisure activity.” “I hope you'll be able to spend less time on this “leisure activity” and more time on the other options. Nightmare Night is coming up - will you be a part of the celebration?” “Coming up? I can't even believe it's almost mid-autumn, to be honest... I don't know yet. We'll see. I’ll try. Collecting so many candies for me, doing their best... Gracious Mistress of the Night, the Queen of Nightmares, the Mare in the Moon, Nightmare Moon shouldn't take the donation of her subjects?” “Please... You scared me a little. “Yeah, now everyone is scared of me. Fine, I’ll try.” “Thank you, Nightmare.” “By the way, can I ask you a counter question?” “Of course.” “Your accent... “Tselestia, Nighmayre, Ra’ty, Caydance, Ponyvill”... Where is it from? I've heard it a few times in the castle, but as a matter of fact, Canterlot doesn’t speak like that.” “Oh, I'm a fifth-generation native from Manehattan, Nightmare. It's the way we talk all over the East Coast, and I've heard it's become popular among the nobility lately. To tell the truth, few of the capital's aristocracy can do it in a way that doesn't cut into the ears of a Manehattan resident.” “Impostors.” “Why are you so harsh on fashion? Speaking of fashion... In thinking back to that fashion show, I can't help but think of another question: are you going to stay in Canterlot or go back to Ponyville?” “I will go back, of course. I'll probably be in the capital not so infrequently, but I plan to live in a place that's more pleasant and dear to my heart. I like Ponyville.” “I bet you've just become the object of rumor, gossip, and misunderstanding by a good half of the entire aristocracy of the capital.” “I'm sorry to hear that.” “You don't seem very impressed, Nightmare. Well... I see that we are somewhat late, so one last question for today, if I may?” “Go on.” “What are you doing at the moment and what are you planning to do in the future?” “I will be working with the dream world, studying it, mastering it further, protecting ponies from nightmares if possible. I'm also thinking of definitely trying myself in drawing, sculpture, and construction.” “Wow! Frankly, it combines quite unusually: drawing and construction. Of course if we’re not talking about interior design or building plans.” “No, I prefer something more poetic, so to speak. But that's just a plan for now.” “If you ever open an exhibition of your paintings or sculptures, will you send me an invitation?” “If you don't grow old by then, I'll try.” “I hope you're joking, Nightmare. Thank you for your time and for agreeing to this conversation. I'm very glad to meet you, I must say.” “Yes, it was interesting to talk to you. I hope I didn't let myself get too candid...” “Thanks again for your invitation, Nightmare Moon. Goodbye!” “Goodbye, Persistent.”
Translator's thoughts, farewells and thanks.Author's Note This chapter is going to be a translation and a slightly different version of this post written in Russian. Translator's thoughts, farewells and thanks. That's the end, folks. After nearly a year, I have ended it, though I was not the only person who has participated in this grand - at least for me - project. I thank these people: hazz - I doubt, that he'd read this, but I really appreciate his work. He's not in the fandom, nor he was in my plans as my redactor, but the fate had decided otherwise. Спасибо, мужик. Twilight_the_spy - thank you for the help. Though not much, but it's something. Lindenholz - the same. Occasional people in the comments - thank you for pointing at the mistakes. And, of course, thank you goes to the author of this damned story. It was a hard nut to crack, but I've done it. Now to the gloomy part of this post. In this... article, fuck knows, I want to describe my journey, which got fucked as soon as it began. The story begins in September 2021. At the beginning of the fall I had a couple of ideas for poems and prose about, well, fall, but then I decided I wanted something more. As you all know, the whole ponyfiction - Russian analog of Fimfiction - has English translations at the top, which, while excellent representatives of this literature, are still written from over the hill and across the Pacific. And looking at "The Unwanted One", I realized that I wanted to show our Western partners that the Russian part of this community is not made with one finger and is quite competitive. But, as everyone knows, Americans know 0.4 languages, so I had to think about translation. I had some experience (extremely bad, no special programs, no multitran - Russian (and not only Russian) online dictionary - and no proofreading, with constant killing myself to the point of automaton), but I decided to take it to the next level. In October of ~~1917~~2022 I decided to take up the cause with responsibility. I asked my comrade AnDel about his participation in this endeavor, which at that time already involved about 200,000 words. He agreed, we split the chapters 50/50, me translating the 1st, 3rd, 5th and so on, and him the 2nd, 4th and on. And so it began: the first words were poured in and translated with a special program called SDL Trados Studio 2021 (which really sucks (or maybe I just didn't study it all)), every word was double-checked twenty thousand times and every episode was rationed: first I worked out a scheme where I translated ten percent of any chapter in the afternoon and then another ten in the evening. Eventually, I found this extremely unproductive and started translating 20 percent if the chapter was less than or about 4,000 words, or 40 if it was 2,000. As a result, two episodes a day turned into four or sometimes five in the summer, and I never took a day off, except when I had to change my HDD. Fall flowed into winter. Throughout the fall, I asked my comrade about progress, which flowed extremely slowly because of his...laziness, I assume. AnDel, you can defend yourself, but I will still think so. The winter of '21 started for us with incredibly funny news: the situation on the DNR-Ukrainian front began to deteriorate, and my co-translator lives in Donetsk... Winter had become a completely useless piece of time for me. Because of the lagging of the second one, I decided to be patient and wait for it, however, as it would turn out in the end, I just wasted two months waiting for something that never came. With this same period, I put the author on notice. At first he expressed average pessimism due to the lack of a good portfolio for this kind of projects, but I promised him to fix it. It was the promise of translation and motivation that drove me all this time. On the night of February 23 to 24, 2022 the Russian Federation began ~~a special operation, a war, liberation, genocide, return of land to its native harbor, a meat grinder, call it what you want~~ a new round. Total mobilization was announced in the DNR, a ban was imposed on any men under 60 years of age to leave the territory of the republic. My co-translator did NOT get in the army, but I FOR THE TIME had decided to not ask him about the translation, because after the 24th of February my mood dropped into a complete depression. Although I hadn't stopped translating, the feeling just pressed down on me. It cost me a great effort not to cry when I heard my mother say, "Did you hear there's a war on?" Ah, there they are, pouring right now... The first half of spring 2022. The front stopped focusing on the DNR for at least a period of time, my co-translator began to find time for computer games. For a while I still didn't show my utter desire to ask him about his part of the work. At the same time, I began to worry about finding English-speaking proofreaders for our translation. I found one, two, three, four... You know what almost all have in common? They all disappeared without a trace. The first one, after checking the first three chapters, simply stopped responding to messages. The second, after checking the first chapter, simply stopped responding to messages. The fourth checked nothing at all. The third was the only one who wasn't from the United States. Bangladesh. Checked the first four chapters and said that now - and most likely never again - will not be able to proofread, because he left with his mother to England, and the laptop remained at home, where his mother left it because of "breakage". That's right, in quotes. ALL of the people I found on the fimfiction discord or on it itself didn't get ten percent of the work done, and only one of them has a good reason. This will have its consequences. The second half of the spring of 2022. I started demanding new chapters from the co-translator. Zero. I stopped waiting for nothing and started translating the chapters I wasn't supposed to translate. Dry statistics: out of 56 chapters and two epilogues, I translated all except for chapter 2, 4, 6, 8 and 10. All the rest are my from A to Z. Summer of 2022. Stakhanov's efforts made the entire remaining translation, as well as the involvement of another person - hazz. This young man did not have to do anything at all, but in fact he was the best for his role. As a student in the Philology Department at university, this character helped me with the proofreading of the first couple of chapters and is still helping me now. The author helped me out a little and also helped me proofread them, plus he gave out new chapters before they were officially published so I knew our Nightmare Moon would be a pink-eyed girl on the throne before anyone else. In July, in coordination with the author, parts began to be posted, each new one a week later. So far the story has 30,000 views, 237 likes and 16 dislikes, 368 people waiting for the sequel and 1,057 shelves with the story in them (sort of like collections), another dozen have added the translation to their favorites and 102 comments. Now I want to retell my response to Professor Litmus' comment about the sometimes - or not sometimes - difficult moments in sentence construction throughout the translation: "This is not my fault that the English-speaking people I've found here and on the discord server are such... Well, trustworthy and answerable. You don't know how much of a strain is it to me to not just yell at the people sometimes when they ask about this. My blood is fucking boiling right now." To all readers, I congratulate you on the full writing of "The Unwanted one": the waiters have ended the waiting, myself included. I congratulate the author on finishing this long-build, but for him I will write separately. To my co-translator, I wish him not to die. Even though I'm still mad at him, I still need you alive, you freak. Maybe I'll end my sulking someday. I wish you all the best of luck in the new school year. The end.
Additional material I - the not included oneAuthor's Note "The end." Or was it? I, of course, used your inability to read Russian and haven't translated the additional material the author had dropped by like after ending the main plot. I was hesitant to translate after living in Nightmare (blush), but now ready to go. Another chapter will be posted some time after. It's being checked by hazzz and he still has to read it all. Additional material I - the not included one I guess I have not shoveled out everything from my work archives, which over three years have piled up 40+ megabytes of text documents. If I suddenly remember something else - I will add a separate chapter to notify, and then move here :) Here are some moments and dialogs that were written as part of this or that chapter, but that either led to the wrong place or just didn't fit emotionally. Table of contents: Chapter 9, “The Silver Roses” Chapter 16, “Burn It All Down” Chapter 29, “Ponysutra” A canceled chapter, between 27 and 31, “A Lifeless Gaze”. A canceled chapter, between 35 and 38, “Flaw of Weakness”. A canceled chapter before 37, “Men Were Eating Meat”. Fragment from somewhere around 24-31, “Tia And Medicine”. An ancient fragment, “A Wedding in Canterlot”. *** Chapter 9, “The Silver Roses”. This fragment was written as part of work on Chapter 9 in August-September 2019. The dining room, to Luna's surprise, was in semi-darkness, barely dispersed by a magical lamp that gave a dim, silvery light. And on the table, among the various dishes, there was a vase... With blooming silver roses! Luna could not believe her eyes. Luna turned to her sister with a shocked look. She smiled back, pleased with the effect. “How?” Luna exhaled in an almost whisper. “They bloom only under the Moon's light... And I thought that you destroyed them, when... well...” “I was about to. One night I couldn't sleep and was already walking in the garden when I stumbled upon them. The decision was quick and unambiguous. A fire spell was ready to go off my horn when...” Tia sighed moodily. “I looked at these beautiful flowers, bobbing their heads in the gentle gusts of wind, inhaling their delicate fragrance... They lived, they gave me their beauty and their wonderful smell, and I stood over them and was about to destroy them... After standing like that for a few moments, I just turned around and walked away, angry at my indecision and an incomprehensible feeling of disgust towards myself.” *** Chapter 16, “Burn It All Down” This fragment was written more like a joke for my own self during work on the 16th chapter :) The beginning of November 2019. That's it, damned cowards, you made me go wild! “Twilight.” I addressed to my companion phlegmatically. “Are you familiar with fighting magic? Can you cast a lightning or something?” “Fighting magic?! N-no...” The unicorn looked at me cautiously. “I can do a firefly and that's it... Why do you need this, Nightmare?” “A firefly you say.” I grinned evilly at the panicking and cornered doctor. “Hey, can you do me a favor: burn this nothingness’ coat, please.” The mare stared at me in total shock and stepped back, just in case. “Gonna write this in obituary: “Burned on the job.” I delivered the final blow, approaching the alarmist with a gloomy grin. “Unless he finally picks himself up and starts treating me!!!!” I yelled, hovering over the panicking stallion. *** Chapter 29, “Ponysutra” If you look at the chapter 29 you’ll find the moment of the MH’s inspection of Rarity's bookcase, from which this fragment grew :) It turned out very good, in my opinion, but it did not fit into the mood of the chapter at all. Approximately June 2020. So. What do we have here? I shook my head and turned to the bookshelf. I looked at a book, inconspicuously placed in the corner of the top shelf, which was, for some reason, facing inwards with its backbone. I couldn't get a hold of it with my hoof, so I applied energy to the horn, pulling the obviously hidden piece of writing into the light with my telekinesis. "Dance of Lust," the simple white cover with a heart on it read. Well... Oh. A randomly opened page contained a colorful and detailed illustration with numerical symbols. "...to give the stallion maximum pleasure, you can stimulate zone 4..." I hurriedly turned the next few pages. I don't think the info from that illustration would be useful for the next year... There was an illustration of a stallion and a mare on the opened page. I ran across it with my gaze, hummed, turned the page again. Rustle. Wow. I didn't think ponies can bend in such ways... Rustle. Well, this is almost classic now... Rustle. Mare with a mare? Hm... Rustle. Heck with it, it's uncomfortable... Rustle. Rustle. Rustle. “Nightmare! I almost... O-oh...” In fact, there was another idea, which did not take shape in the text, but which amused me a lot, on the topic of how this fragment could have been developed. Instead of Rar, the CMC would break in and, having spotted the book the MH was reading... start to discuss it :) Like giving advice, to check a certain page - like, look, what a mess... Why do they do this to her?.. In a nutshell, they gave the outsider the understanding - in every way possible - that they've researched this sexual education handbook at least once because of their insatiable curiosity :) And after all that the fuming Rarity would come in :)) *** 4. A canceled chapter, between 27 and 31, “A Lifeless Gaze”. Rather curious moment with Tia's thoughts on Nightmare Moon. I can't remember the reason for giving it up anymore :(( Approximately May 2020. “Greetings, sister.” Luna entered the Princess of the Sun's study. “Greetings, Lu.” She delayed her answer. Deep in thought, she was drilling a document before her with her eyes. “Is it a bad time?” The Princess of the Night became confused a bit. It would seem that Celestia's vacation ended only yesterday, and already today Luna was dining alone... Well, not alone, of course, but with Cadence, but... without Tia. As the servants said, she had asked for lunch at her place of work - that was where Luna had come. She wanted at least to say hello to her sister, to make sure everything was all right... “Yeah... Yeah, no, come in. Happy to see you.” Celestia raised her gaze and put the documents aside, giving a smile. “If I have interrupted thou, I’d hurry to leave...” Luna heard the hesitation in her sister’s voice and made a step to get out. In the end, Tia has been around her for the entire week. Interrupting her just to say “hello“... “Behaving like a little filly!” The junior sister bit her lip. “Stay, please.” The white alicorn stood up from the table. “I’ll always find time for you. And, on top of that, I need a break either way. I look at the text, but the thoughts just seem to wander someplace else... I’m afraid I don't know what to do.” Tia rubbed her forehead tiredly. “What’s the matter, sister?” Luna perked up. “I’m doubtful I can help you much, but...” “You know, the matter is Nightmare and I wouldn't like to...” The senior Princess hesitated. “What happened?” Luna repeated and came closer. “You've met yesterday, haven't you?” “We have.” Tia gave up. “Everything went well, my concerns haven't confirmed, but... I’m afraid for you, Lu.” “Afraid?” “Yes. And I don't know what to do. She's a threat to you! I must not let her harm you! But... How? Because at the same time, she's a poor, misguided mare that deserves something good... And with all that said, she hates you and she does not hesitate to use force. I have to do something, but I don't understand what.” Celestia drooped tiredly. Luna did not know what to do either. She spoke to Cadence over lunch, but she hadn't the time to talk with the Mare in the Moon enough to say anything definite. She only marked that Nightmare clearly avoids conversations about the past. “Maybe I was wrong?” The quiet sister's voice pulled the Princess of the Night out of her thoughts. “Sorry, what?” Luna raised her gaze from the floor. “Saved Nightmare's life.” Tia explained with a colorless voice. “For her to... But I couldn't, shouldn't have done otherwise! But now I’m so afraid to lose you!..” The snowy alicorn, sighed heavily and turned to the window. “She... What is she, Ti?” Sister came to Celestia. “Why are you so sure that...” She hesitated. A silly question. “She... Every word that I can say about her hurts your heart, Lu. I don't want to make you hurt.” The Princess of the Sun drooped and closed her eyes tiredly. “So be it. It's earned by my misdǣd.” The blue alicorn shut her jaws, trying to seem defiant, but a hint of the old style of speaking gave her away completely. “Luna...” Celestia shook her head disapprovingly and went silent in uncertainty. Luna herself was tensely silent as well. “Fine.” Tia gave up after a few seconds. “If it's so important to you - I don't have the right to not tell you. But, in any case, I don't know much about her.” The junior sister stopped again, gathering her thoughts. “She... You know, it’s hard to look into her eyes, especially if she's deep in thought. Her gaze is scary: empty, lifeless. She didn't say anything like that, but at times like this I think that if I told her that she was going to get executed tomorrow morning, she'd be happy and ask me to bring it forward to save time... You know, when we first met, I was a little surprised by the way she was talking to me. Later, Twilight mentioned in her letter that Nightmare liked to be feared... I wondered - why? And then I realized: she just doesn't care about her own life, she has almost nothing in the world to hold on to. At times, she shows uncertainty and nervousness in communication with me, but quickly regains her composure. And why should she be afraid when she has nothing to lose but her life, which, in her eyes, has no value? Maybe that's why she hates you so fanatically and clings to this feeling, because it brings some meaning to her existence...” With a sigh, Celestia poured some water from the carafe into a glass and drained it slowly, trying not to look in the direction of the stiffened Luna, who was staring at the floor. “On the other side, she is not completely desperate: she can joke, laugh, show a kind of touching spontaneity... But the moment she goes into herself, it disappears: leaving only the lifeless look... I try to help her somehow, but, I am afraid, my efforts do not bear the desired results: Nightmare just doesn't trust me enough. However, according to her words, she does not trust anyone at all, and I do not know any other way to show her the joy of life other than through friendship. And friendship is impossible without trust... That's it: I cannot soften her heart, or she will be a threat to you. I have to protect you, but even if Nightmare would tell me "Thank you" for her death - what will I become then? What should I do?” Tia drooped and whispered quietly. “I have to fix everything!..” Luna said quietly with a cracking voice, swiftly dashing the coming tears away. “What, sorry?..” Celestia perked up. “I have to fix everything!” The Princess of the Night cut it off, standing tall and looking right at her sister. “I don't know how, but I have to! I did all of this to her - I’m the one who should pay the price! *** 5. A canceled chapter, between 35 and 38, “Flaw of Weakness”. This fragment was written before my decision to not show Tia's perspective in the 4th and 5th parts (Translator's note - chapters from “A Look Behind” to the end). The end of April 2021. “Good morning, auntie!” Celestia shivered when the cheerful voice of the niece got her out of her thoughts. “Is everything alright?” She asked a bit worriedly, taking a seat across the table. “Yeah, of course... I was just thinking. Good morning, Cadence.” Tia answered, professionally hiding behind a smile her vile mood. She had the desire to fall down and sleep right on the table. The nightmare was exhausting, almost impossible to sleep a wink this night. Nightmare Moon, towering over Luna's lifeless body with a bloody glaive and a triumphant grin, claiming that she would make a better sister than this, was still before her eyes. She, Celestia, did not protect her sister. She couldn't do anything at all when it was necessary!.. She did not even understand what was going on until it was too late! Left Luna alone in the middle of an unfamiliar world, believing that to meet once a day and ask "how are you?” would be enough! She shouldn't have!.. “Celestia, are you okay?” The Princess of the Sun flinched again at the sudden sound of Cadence's voice, which was already much more alarmed. She lifted her eyes from the plate she'd been aimlessly picking at - she hadn't even noticed when it arrived... - Tia met her niece's gaze, filled with worry and a hint of reproach. “Yeah, pretty much...” Junior Princess’ eyes started to radiate even more reproach. “I just can't throw what happened out of my head.” “Yes... Poor Luna and Nightmare!” Cadence sighed. “Nightmare?..” Celestia unwillingly raised an eyebrow, feeling strange annoyance. Over the past couple of days, the black mare's mere existence has begun to make Tia feel this way... How to treat her? What to do with her? She wanted to bestow all her anger upon her, but the pity for this deeply unhappy pony, who draws things that would make your fur stand, for pleasure, was stronger time after time. And was it all really her fault?.. Yes, she'd hurt Luna, but left her alive, and that was, without any doubt, a titanic struggle. Left her alive for her, for Celestia. And still Nightmare dared to threaten her sister’s life... “Yes.” Cadence answered meanwhile. “Maybe we haven't spoken to her very much, but... I do feel how her heart bleeds. And, if I’m allowed, auntie, I'd like to try to help her.” “Like with Luna?” She barely managed to swallow the toxic mockery in her own voice, and immediately chided herself for the irritation that was still there and didn't want to go away. “I tried to be near Luna.” The pink alicorn drooped. She had felt something and taken it to heart, and it caused a painful shot of conscience. “But alas... Another pony was needed to be around her.” “Sorry, Cadence. I...” Celestia lowered her head. Niece's evil barb hurt her. And good that it did!.. “What are you talking about, auntie?” Junior Princess sincerely didn't understand. “I just hoped, that if I couldn't help Luna, then maybe I could help Nightmare Moon? To become her friend, the one I tried to be with Luna - who, as it turned out, needed a sister, not a friend?..” Celestia closed her eyes for a few seconds. What is going on with her, damn it?.. She loses her temper, imagines things and all... “I’m afraid I don't need your help here for the time being.” Tia shook her head, having restored her composure. “I can't afford to give my sister so inexcusably little time now... So, Cadence, please, take at least some duties from me! Let me be with my sister!..” “Fine, auntie.” The Princess of Love sighed. “And what about Nightmare?..” “Don't worry, I’ll think of something.” Celestia smiled. Except she wasn't sure about it herself. Nor was she sure if she should do anything at all... *** 6. A canceled chapter before 37, “Men Were Eating Meat”. The idea is funny, no doubt about it. :) But I quickly discovered, that there’s nothing to write a whole chapter about - the essence can be put into two paragraphs. So, I did just that and left this for memories) The end of April 2021. Once upon a time At his modest home A stableman was serving meat to his dear guests I tried to sing one catchy song about meat under my breath, cringed. It rhymed horribly in Equestrian. And also, this “meat” with the meaning of “food” is clearly borrowed from some other language, hence sounds somewhat foreign... A-a, damn it... The initial spirits and jocularity about Gilda’s request were gone, but the question of “where to get meat in the land of herbivorous ponies" remained and, logically, was quite non-trivial. Go to Fluttershy, who already almost faints from my presence? Now she does for sure, yeah... Not an option, I see. Applejack, who has pigs? Doubtful. Even if she doesn't tell me to go... myself right off the bat, I'm sure she won't sell me a piggy. And do I even have the money to buy one is a question in itself... Perhaps I could try hunting? Well, first of all, I can be hunted myself. Second of all, I can hardly imagine the process of skinning and cutting the future food... By the way, this is a problem: no one here will sell me a ready-made loin. Damn. Tho-ough... I can pretend I’m a newbie, right? I could bring a boisterously screaming pig to this cat-bird and be like “now you”. I’m a simple herbivorous horse, how should I know what to do next? And if the cat-bird doesn't know how to do it herself, there would be a good reason to die from laughter... I chuckled. But it would be better if she does: I will have many things to laugh at I think, can’t say the same for tasting meat. But in any case, for starters I’d better find someone feasible to be the meat... Getting back to the ideas - hunting seems more realistic than going to someone to sell me livestock for slaughter. But the problem with hunting is that I don't even know which of the local woodland inhabitants are eatable - at the same time, I’m quite sure about chickens, geese and pigs... Hm... Hm!.. I stopped, feeling my lips part in a slightly malicious smile. I know there’s one plump town horse around, Name's Twilight... ... “...At all? Or here, “News from the fields”, quite a good monthly!” The first thing I heard upon entering is Twi trying to convince someone. “Wha don't I know there, sugarcube? Our apples are the best even without yer these mags! And 'cos they’re grown with ‘onest hoof work, not some flapdoodle!..” Applejack was fighting with indignation. “But the achievements of science!..” “Ballyhoo and all, Twily! No iron thingy is going to be more better than the Apples when it comes to growing crops, I ‘sure ya!.. O, Nightmare?..” A disgruntled farmer turned around and spotted me with a slightly unpleasant surprise. “Nightmare Moon.” Twilight reacted to her friend's words, turning around and formally stated my presence as well, carefully hiding her dread. “I’m happy to see you as well.” I chuckled, causing some grumpy looks on the friends’ faces. “Hi to everyone. Has Celestia written something to me, Twi? Or about me?” “Just warned about your arrival.” The unicorn shook her head. “And also mentioned that she’s waiting for you to apologize to Gilda, which you have almost hurt!” She said fervently. But after meeting my gaze, she hastily folded her ears against her head and tried to be as small as possible. Thanks for being the first one to shed light on that topic, by the way. “I’ve just come back from her. I wanted to apologize myself, really...” I moved my wing under surprised ponies’ gazes. “Why so?” AJ cocked her brow distrustfully. “Don't think that, it’s alright and stuff, I just can't understand ya sometimes, really.” “What is there to understand? She was up to bully Fluttershy in a very wrong time. If I hadn't been stopped - I'd have skinned her right at the spot. And killing for a scratch isn't really a good thing to do...” Ponies went pale and took a few steps backwards simultaneously. “...And this is why I've come today. To apologize for getting crazy.” I moved my wing peevishly. “If you hadn't decided to let it rip, you wouldn't have had to apologize.” Applejack mumbled under her breath. “What can a pony do if this is often understood better than words?” I sighed with a feigned pity. “But the desire to pick on Fluttershy - and ponies at all - of our claws-and-feathers friend has drastically lowered. “So you think you had done the right thing?!” Twilight stared at me with an unreadable look on her face. Applejack held herself from yells - just looked at me with disapproval. “I do. Just a bit too rough - and I apologized for that.” “Just?!..” The unicorn choked on air. “You almost killed her!” She and the farmer boiled over in unison. “On the upside, the lesson taught is pretty understandable indeed!” I answered with annoyance. The topic has started to tire. “And by the way, Gilda has recognized my right to do like I did and accepted my regrets! Except...” “Pf-f...” The orange mare cringed at my argumentation. “Except what, m?” “O-o, this is why I had come here.” I smiled in foretaste. “I assume that you know that griffons are predators, right? So... Twilight, you know everything here - wouldn't you mind telling me whose meat do griffons prefer?” *** 7. Fragment from somewhere around 24-31, “Tia And Medicine”. Strange thing, but I can't remember why and when I had been writing this part at all. I have to go through my archives... This one tells a little about Tia's skills and knowledge :) “Sister, why haven't you gotten rid of this scar?” “I've left it as a reminder. Yes, you'd say that with our memory reminders are barely needed, but...” Tia thoughtfully casted a sidelong look at the barely visible foreign line at the left shoulder. “At first, of course, I wanted to get rid of it immediately, but medponies of those times couldn't heal scars from magical weaponry completely, and my own knowledge of healing was very limited. “I saw a magna cum laude diploma of a medical institute in your living room..” “And it's completely well-deserved.” The snowy alicorn nodded. “I had to fire two rectors in order for them to stop overscoring me! I was a C student on the second semester.” She added awkwardly. “Then fixed that.” “Understood.” Luna giggled. “And why did you start it at all? Because of the scar?” “We-ell...” Celestia became confused for some reason. “You know...” Luna leaned forward in anticipation. “When I found out that I was pregnant - I was in such panic... I can't describe it.” Tia smiled nervously. “I don't even know what to do with this! What happens, how, when? What if something happens wrongly? What if something happens with the foal or with me?! I was worried terribly and I kept pestering the doctors non-stop - they almost ran away from me by the end of the second month... At the same time I took up self-education, having promised myself that after that I would study medicine and from now on I would know what was in my body and how it worked. I graduated in two specialties at once: equalogist and surgeon. And I even keep up with the innovations in the fields, so that I won’t be out of the loop.” “By the way... Was it compulsory to herd me to your equalogist? I’m a Princess! And she, me!.. There!.. THERE!..” Luna looked indignantly at her sister, while turning red with embarrassment. “What's wrong with it?” Tia shrugged with her wings. “You, apart from being a Princess and an alicorn, are a mare.” Besides, if we ever want to solve the problem of natural reproduction of our race, it needs to be researched. Equalogist Cadence wrote a wonderful dissertation on the peculiarities of the alicorn reproductive system, for example. So, this is all important not only for your health, but for our science, sister!” *** 8. An ancient fragment, “A Wedding in Canterlot”. Written in times unknown, when the feud with Luna was already forming as an idea, but I was still estimating the length of the fic until like season 3. Written sometime in late 2019 or early 2020, I think. I can't be more precise. :) “Why were you on the wedding, Nightmare?” Luna asked with defiance. Celestia quietly sighed. It seems that she is already regretting putting these two in one room. “Why I was there is crystal clear: I was invited by Twilight.” I waved away from junior Princess’ complaint. “I think a more interesting question is why weren't you there?” I looked at the enemy with a squint. “I can't stand any capital holidays. It’s not an enigma. I’m surprised you still haven't figured it out.” The Princess of the Night answered caustically. What a beautiful answer, truly... “A cozy reason, really? Allows you to be out of the loop, doesn't it, Luna?” I gave the blue alicorn a hard look. “What do you mean, Nightmare?” Celestia asked coldly before her sister could speak. “I mean that you shouldn't turn your back to her.” I answered Tia’s question, still looking at Luna. “See how curious this is: she makes a reputation as a loner who doesn't like holidays, so that her absence won't arouse suspicion. Then she hires Chrysalis and her bugs to attack the city just as you, Cadence, and the Elements are here. She knocks all of you out of commission, taking as payment all the love in the city that she can, and leaves. Returning Luna "suddenly discovers" that a nightmare has occurred, blames me for it, and, with her guards, dispatches Cadence, and, after crying in public, becomes the sole ruler of Equestria as the only remaining alicorn.” Silence falls for a few seconds in the hall. “A good plan, Luna.” I continue after taking a pause. “Too bad this dragonfly failed everything, isn't?” “Nightmare!” Tia’s voice boiled with indignation. “Maybe you're not on the good terms with my sister, but such accusations are an overkill!” The Princess of the Sun pressed me with a gloomy look, and the dazed Luna stared back and forth between Celestia and me, unable to utter a word. “Accusations? No, just suspicions for now, Princess.” I countered calmly. “Or you would say that my words are baseless? I’ll let myself remind you that your precious sister has already tried to kill you once.” “Like you haven't, hypocritical monster!” Luna yelled angrily with a suspiciously clinking voice. “Guess what, I haven't tried to kill my SISTER.” I chuckled in response. “You had created me to help you to seize the power - and I truly helped you to the best of my ability. Not very successfully, it's true, but I followed my destiny. And I betrayed no one, unlike you!” “Enough, Nightmare!” Celestia took me down a peg. “I've heard your opinion. If you don't have anything else to add - you can go.” “Two there should be. No more, no less. One to embody power, the other to crave it.” I cited thoughtfully into the space. “Be careful, Princess. If one day you don't wake up.” I nodded at Luna. “Because of her - I’ll take offense and stop talking to you. Farewell, Celestia.” I said goodbyes and went out into the corridor, leaving the sisters alone.
Additional material II - author's fanonThis is a collection of my work and thoughts on both individual characters and entire races. In principle, I won't mind if someone uses them in his work - I'll keep the authorship anyway :) So if you do something - you're welcome :) Rarity Scootaloo Tempest Thestrals Changelings Griffons The Crystal Empire and ancient Equestria *** 1. Rarity The story of Rarity, written as a prop in the dialogs with her about her past. I admit that at the time I barely remembered what or who her parents were, so I wrote without reference to the canon, even though there's almost nothing written about them. Rarity was born in a small village somewhere on the outskirts of Equestria. She loved to sew, embroider, and work with fabrics in general, but, to her surprise, she didn't get a cutie mark for this apparently favorite pastime of hers. And she felt that something was wrong, something was missing. In her early childhood, by chance she visited Canterlot with her parents, and was very impressed, burning with the dream of moving there and becoming like the capital's residents: important, elegant, and refined. Her parents, on the contrary, did not like such cities, adoring the rural pastoral. Young Rarity, still without a cutie mark and being really tired of the plain rural life, started to burn with the idea of moving to Canterlot in search of a calling and a better future. Her parents, however, weren’t so understanding, and after a quarrel, she took all her savings and ran away from home. But on the way, the young mare understood quickly, that settling down in Canterlot is beyond her budget, so she stopped near the capital, in Ponyville, hoping to find a job, save some money and then rush towards the capital. However, no one wanted to hire a teenage filly without a cutie mark, no one even wanted to be with her – how can it be, she’s so mature and yet, blank flank... The unicorn had to eke out her existence by doing random childish work, like sewing costumes for spectacles in the local school and so forth. The mare's purse had started to show its bottom and she would often manage without food or place to sleep. She would probably have ended up with nothing if it hadn't been for Sonic Rainbow, who caught Rarity in the foothills, where she had gone to calm her nerves and dream of stumbling upon a gemstone - they had always fascinated the unicorn with their shape and luster, and she wanted to try adding one to clothes and see how it would look. It was in the sparkle of the rainbow that she found her first stone, a small sapphire, and in honor of this finding she received her mark and also discovered her talent for easily finding precious stones and processing them to create sparkling masterpieces of clothing. With the help of the stones, she was able to improve her financial situation, which by that time was already quite threatening, and having a cutie mark immediately opened the door to many places. She joined the local seamstress as an apprentice, impressing her with her ability to decorate the clothes she made with precious stones. The lonely old mare died soon after, bequeathing her business to Rarity. She managed not only to keep the thing, but also to expand it considerably, replacing the old sewing shop somewhere on the outskirts of town with a chic store almost in the city center a few years later. Rarity soon made peace with her parents as well, and after a while, to her surprise, they sent their youngest daughter, Sweetie Belle, to live in Ponyville as well. “You were right, daughter. It's good for her to get out of our province.” Father smiled at the surprised Rarity. Everything turned out well, but those first half-starved months in a strange town, where no one wanted her, Rarity remembered for the rest of her life. *** 2. Scootaloo A little bit about Scoot’s life, which I described under chapter 32. It was interesting to somehow combine the established and much-loved fanon with Scootaloo the orphan and the now canon with aunts and parents traveling the hell knows where. It seemed completely uninspiring, until it occurred to me that Scoot's dad might have remarried just before season 8 and been driving around with his new wife, who pulled him out of the hole, on their honeymoon :) And I think the idea immediately kicked in :) When she entered the house, Scootaloo habitually grimaced at the familiar, but not the more pleasant, smell of alcohol. She threw off her bags and walked through the rooms, again wrinkling her eyes, this time at the sight of neglect: she has to do the much-hated cleaning again... It seems that she did it just a couple of days ago! So, let’s see… Monday... Yeah... Oh. Two weeks ago? Scoot sighed. Father was in the kitchen, snoring in the company of empty bottles and an old photo album, with his head on the table. He was thinking of mother again... The Pegasus, with a sad shake of her head, hurried to leave him alone. Snap Shutter was not a bad pony and a good photographer, but the death of his wife, whom he loved more than life, he could not stand. Scootaloo remembered her mother poorly: she was just two or three years old when she died... Her father has been drinking ever since, almost nonstop. He lost his job, sold his camera and his home darkroom, which he said he had once been particularly proud of... Probably only having a daughter, whom he sometimes tried to take care of somehow, had kept him in this world. Alas, these impulses occurred in him less often than memories of his wife and the desire to get drunk after them: sometimes there was not enough money in the house even for food, not to mention toys for the kid or even furniture ... All this would have probably ended sourly, if not for a few generous neighbors who took care of little Scootaloo. They fed her, played with her, looked after her, let her stay with them overnight... There was a time when she even seriously considered Holiday and Lofty to be closer than her father... Fortunately, she had enough sense not to say such things out loud, and then, growing up and knowing him better Scoot could understand and even, to some extent, accept this poor and crushed pony, telling her about her mother, pouring tears into an old photo album. However, he was not, and could not be, someone really close and important to her, and she still held a measure of contempt for this perpetually drunken wreck. The pegasus hated to see him drunk. Now, fortunately, her father was no longer drinking incessantly, but in "short" monthly passes, between which he tried to find work, establish some kind of life and relations with his daughter, but some time would pass and Scootaloo would come home from school and find him surrounded by empty bottles again... Scoot grew up early, learning to have her own money to live on as she saw fit while also trying to spend as little time as possible at home – she would never skip an opportunity to have a sleepover with friends. She had a good memory of her father drinking away her first paycheck - a dozen of bits for helping a restaurant's delivery service... She dragged her father to enroll in school, too: at last she would be able to spend less time at home! The result, however, was hardly better, especially in the lessons of the native language and literature... But it became much better when the pegasus established contacts with the Mare in the Moon herself. She had enough horror when she understood WHOM she had hit with her scooter... Luckily, she was an understanding mare, and a pretty cool one! A real friend! Scootaloo chuckled, remembering the expressions on Tiara and Spoon's faces the day after the memorable conversation. She entered the school like an icebreaker! For the first time in her life, everyone was dutifully parting in front of her, hiding their eyes and whispering warily! Sweetie, though... Oh... Well, the Mare in the Moon has fixed everything with her, as she promised. She was still a little afraid, though... It was all the more surprising to find the huge alicorn in such a depressed state... Like her father before a binge, looking at the photo album and uncorking his first bottle... Frankly, Scootaloo could hardly imagine Nightmare Moon having nightmares for which no remedy was available, but Scoot knew the unavailable... Her father also had nightmares on occasion, and he escaped them with sedatives mixed with his favorite booze. He drinks a glass and falls down. If that doesn't help her friend, perhaps nothing could. After getting a couple of packs of bluish pills from home while her father was asleep, Scootaloo took them to Nightmare, hoping desperately that she wouldn't go on a binge... *** 3. Tempest It would seem that the first season and Tempest can’t be put together, but the text below is not even close to everything I had in mind about her when I was spinning the idea of her meeting with the MH in my head. . .. Tempest Shadow, real name - Fizzlepop Berrytwist... She was born on the border, where she lived in her hometown without any trouble until she was fourteen. At school she was an excellent student and an activist, who participated in every event, for which she had a solid number of various certificates. Her friends were from the same circle; she did not communicate much with the others, treating those who were less successful in their studies with a bit of condescension. When she was fourteen, she wandered into woods, while playing with her friends, where she was attacked by a star bear, which resulted in the loss of her horn, a series of less critical wounds, and a long time spent in hospital bed. The loss of the horn was extremely hard for the young unicorn, who had already mastered telekinesis and was accustomed to it. In addition to having to actually retrain back to the use of hooves and mouth in everyday life, such a serious head injury resulted in frequent and severe headaches - not to mention the psychological problems that the mutilation entailed. Recovery and rehabilitation in the hospital took nearly half a year. Fizzlepop had fallen behind hopelessly in her studies, and periodic headaches became a serious obstacle in her attempts to catch up: the inability to study at the same level was another blow for the excellent student, who used to be afraid of even B's. Her friendship ended on the basis of her "friends" considering it inappropriate to hang out with the "C" student that Berrytwist was turning into, and she had no one else. Her parents supported her as best they could, but they were unicorns, they were healthy, successful ponies, and what was she? The final straw was the incident that caused Fizzlepop to get a cutie mark. One of her ex-friends somehow got the idea to "wittily banter" with the washed-up former high school star. Already crushed by the trials of life and enraged by her ex-friend's words, Berrytwist directed all her powerful magic at the rest of the horn, and an electric arc flew into the mocker. She collapsed, and that same electric arc flashily decorated the thighs of the unicorn that was dazed by the result. There was a foul stench of burnt fur, and there was a lot of running and thrashing and shouting... Tempest rushed home, tears streaming down her cheeks. She'd killed a pony! And she got a cutie mark because of it! A murderer's cutie mark!!! She couldn't stay in town any longer. What if she killed someone else? And even if she didn't, they'd still kick her out. And her parents would stop loving her as well... At home, Fizzlepop threw her things into her bags, hid her cursed marker under her cloak, and, scribbling a three-word note and crying, she escaped through the window to make her way to the border unseen. If her parents had been home, they would have stopped her daughter, but they rushed home as soon as they heard about the accident and found only a crumpled note on a tear-drenched sheet of paper. Of course, Fizzlepop was looked for - but it never occurred to anyone that she might have left Equestria... The dimwit, who wanted to assert herself at the expense of the unicorn who had lost everything, was lucky. A timely resuscitation managed to overcome the severe electrical trauma, and the medics pulled her from the afterlife. The consequences were a slight stutter, a network of scars all over the right side of her body, and an awareness of her own insignificance coupled with a sense of guilt. *** 4. Thestrals This fragment here is to bring order, because in the end it did manage to squeeze into the main text, though in chapter 47 instead of originally planned 28) However, you can see it in its original form, where it was designed as a dialog with Twilight. “Twilight, where the thestrals had come from?” “Well...” The unicorn mused. “It's hard to say for sure now, even Princess Celestia remembers their origins very superficially, as she herself said. The books, alas, are written in what an author can come up with: "Mother of the Night" says that they are all descendants of Princess Luna, "The Dark Tribe" says that these ponies are victims of the Luna curse... But "The Dark Tribe" is a rather controversial source: Its author, for example, claims that Luna was cruel and unprincipled, and that Nightmare Moon is no evil spirit, but Luna herself, who rejected everything radiant and good for the sake of power and authority... More reputable sources hold the opinion that Nightmare Moon is an evil spirit, which, scientifically speaking, looks much closer to the truth... Oh, sorry, Nightmare! I didn't want to offend you!” The mare stumbled halfway through the word, guiltily pressing her ears against her head. “No comments.” I answered evenly. “Continue and, if you can, about thestrals, please.” “A, yes, thestrals.” A distracted Twilight started to gather her thoughts. “I’m not sure why Princess Celestia didn't like to talk about those times, but she did tell me a few things about them. It wasn't long after she and her sister began ruling Equestria. The elder of a distant tribe of pegasi came to them for help, because they'd crossed the path of a unicorn who was a powerful dark mage, and the mage had cursed the whole tribe. The poor pegasi couldn't eat properly, their sight was deteriorating by the day, and their wings were gradually losing their power. By the time they were able to give the Princesses a request for help, they already had the first dead..." The unicorn sighed after a pause. “Was it a big one?” “No one knows for a fact.” The mare mused for a moment. “Big enough to survive in relative isolation on the outskirts of the country. So if I had to guess, there were no less than five hundred ponies.” “I got it...” I prolonged. “What had they done to the magician afterwards?” “I don't know.” Twi shook her head. “Princess Celestia didn't tell me that. Fine... So, the pegasi made a request of help to the Princesses. They, of course, didn't leave it without attention. Given the complexity of the situation, they decided to go to the pegasi village in person and sort everything out on the spot. The curse turned out to be complicated and confusing, and that unicorn had been doing it for more than one night. As a result, Princess Celestia found it impossible to lift it at all and headed back, especially since she couldn't leave the throne for long. Princess Luna, on the other hand, did not want to leave with her sister, leaving the Pegasi to die, and stayed. According to Princess Celestia, Luna spent almost a month there, trying to save the unfortunates - and she succeeded: she could not completely destroy the curse, but somehow managed to change and redirect its effect, resulting into a transformation of those cursed pegasi into thestrals, but Princess Luna herself was so exhausted that she almost died and then for several months she could not use magic at all! For this act, thestrals began to call her the Great, or sometimes even the Great Mother, as a symbol of her selflessness which gave them life. They also formed her guard and served her faithfully until her exile. That's how the curse and the changes Princess Luna made to it gave Equestria a new race of ponies. Thestrals can't see very well, especially in the light, but they have incredible hearing. They also have quite an unusual way of flying and they are excellent at keeping their balance thanks to some kind of a peculiarity in their vestibular apparatus. They can even sleep on the ceiling, dangling by their tails upside down!” Twilight shook her head in amazement. “They must have very robust tails.” I tsked. “They're robust in general.” The unicorn confirmed. “Some even think that they’re not weaker than earthponies, because of... M-m... Their ration.” The mare shuddered. “Thestrals are predators! They eat fish!” Twi said with a loud whisper. Fish, pf... I smiled slightly. “By the way, Twilight, in “A Brief History of Equestria" that I took from you, it was said that thestrals are a closed community and they are extremely rare in the cities of ponies, outside of their mountains...” “A Brief History”...” Twilight cringed for a second. “A very primitive source that has a gigantic amount of holes and neglects, but I should mention that the facts that are presented there are mostly precise. In addition, there is not much reliable information on thestrals at all, but this particular book contains the better part of it. We know so little about them that even for "A Brief History" there was nothing to cut... “Twi-i!” I poked the mare lightly with my wing. “Oh, sorry, I've interrupted you, haven't I?” She blushed confusedly. “Mhm.” I nodded. “So, it became interesting to me: if they live like an isolated small society - why haven't they died out?” “A hard and tricky question.” The unicorn chewed her lip thoughtfully. “I was interested in it as well some time ago, but I haven't been able to find anything in the books on this topic. Princess Celestia, when I finally managed to convince her to tell me about thestrals, told me a shocking thing: thestrals are not only pegasi, they also have unicorns and earthponies amongst their ranks!” Twi’s eyes widened. Now that’s interesting... “One might as well ask the question whether they're a pony race or just another species that is just close to us...” The unicorn mumbled and stared thoughtfully into nothingness. She shook her mane and looked back at me. “But this fact immediately deletes the severity of the problem of degeneration.” I cocked my brow in amazement. “The parents' different racial backgrounds make it possible to have children between much closer ponies without risk than with the same race. If I remember correctly, it's already possible for third cousins of different races to produce healthy offspring." The mare explained. “As a result, although the number of non-pegasi is extremely small - ten to fifteen percent - which does not allow them to rapidly increase the population at the moment, but still enough not to die out.” “Enlightening...” I prolonged. “Listen, where did they get unicorns and earthponies? And what are they like?” “From the time when thestrals lived among other ponies, before the exile of Princess Luna. They are the descendants of thestrals and common ponies from mixed marriages. Not all ponies were afraid of "children of the night," though of course there wasn’t a lot of them. And, in addition, not everyone was prepared for the fact that their own foal would be a thestral - in mixed marriages there was a very high chance of it, around seventy percent. Probably some peculiarity related to the curse or its transformation... I don't know. And how they look...” Twilight stopped, fixing her bangs with a hoof. “I don't know, I haven't seen them. Like all thestrals, I guess - faded hair colors, warm spectrum eyes with narrow slit pupils like yours, fangs, and larger than pony ears with tassels. And also, it seems that unicorns in thestrals ranks have a curved horn, not a straight horn like we have.” “It’s kinda strange, Twilight: it’s been so long and yet you're saying that there's little information about them... How can it be?” “Well...” The unicorn hesitated for a few seconds. “You see, perhaps if thestrals had been in contact with larger settlements, there would have been some noticeable cultural exchange... But there aren't even towns like Ponyville near their mountains, just small villages that don't even have railroad tracks. Another problem for visiting explorers is that thestrals are rather cold and mistrustful to ponies in general, and to strangers in particular. And few are willing to venture into such a remote area, given all the rumors and speculation that circulate among the ponies about thestrals.” *** 5. Changelings A bit of SDMS (The Search for Deep Meaning Syndrome) about changelings :) I added some things on this topic with some peculiarities somewhere in the comments on Ficbook* (I hope under “The Unwanted One), but damn it, I can't find when it was :(( If someone remembers or sees it - let me know! I want to bring it here as well. PS: I did bring it here, down below in a separate paragraph *Russian website for fan-stories “Changelings, aka werewolves, are ponymorphic swarming insects with an organizational structure remotely resembling a bee swarm. Very remotely. A changeling Queen leads the swarm. Their Queens are similar to alicorns and can match them in power, but are not immortal, though their lifespan is considerable. The birth of a Queen is very rare. The young Princess of a hive lives and learns from her mother until she either dies - replacing her - or gives birth to another Queen. In that case, the older Princess leaves her home hive and becomes the Queen of her own swarm, separating herself from the main one. This was the case, for example, with Chrysalis, who is now about one hundred and eighty years old: she spent almost one hundred and forty of them in her own hive until her mother gave birth to her sister Queen. After slightly more than two decades, she left her hive somewhere in Saddle Arabia to start her own - and, causing problems for herself, she stumbled into Equestria, thinking that it would be easy to create a thriving hive near friendly, non-violent ponies.” “Didn't her mother help her?” “No. You see, as soon as she crossed the doorstep of her native hive, not as a Princess, but as the new Queen, they were no longer related. Their bond was severed, and the new Queen was on her own. Naturally, she was not leaving alone, but with the new Queen's entourage and resources - everything she needed to start a new hive from scratch.” “Speaking of the entourage... You've mentioned that changelings’ organization is akin to bees’... It means “The Queen, The drones, The workers” or what? Are they even sentient? “I think comparison with bees was a bit of an overkill... No, they don't have such a rigid division into classes, and yes, they are sentient, just like ponies. In addition to the Queen, there are the regular changelings, doing all sorts of work. Stallions are usually scouts, spies, soldiers, and getters. Mares are teachers, educators, nannies, farmers. Also, both may hold scientific and managerial positions in the hive.” “Why do they need division of mares and stallions at all? Isn't the Queen in charge of breeding? Or are mares only needed as nannies?” “No, of course! Changeling mares are quite capable of continuing their lineage with stallions, but... How shall I put it? It's not quite... Normal for them? No, no, not that... Not quite usual? Generally speaking, they don't need it, as a rule. This kind of mechanism is more of an emergency system, allowing the swarm to survive in case the Queen dies. Basically, if a changeling mare has the will, the Queen usually won't forbid it - she'd even help. But for a simple changeling, clutching is a very arduous process, unlike for a Queen, for whom it is completely natural, so, in the usual situation in the swarm, only a few have such desires.” “Can be a Queen born like that?” “She can be. But a harsh condition comes into power, that the hive shouldn't have another Queen.” “And how do they do it?” “Hard to say... Changelings, frankly speaking, aren’t well-researched. Maybe something instinctive, I don't know.” “What about stallions?” “The hope of a changeling stallion is to be the one who is lucky enough to spend a night with the hive's Queen. That's why most of them are quite aggressive and there's a lot of competition among them, unlike mares. The Queen will only choose the one who has been most useful to the swarm, whose efforts for its good have been the greatest, no matter the position he occupies. I know all this may sound wild, but... Changelings, though similar to us, are not ponies. They have a lot of things that really differ from ours.” Entertaining... By the way... “Can be there a King?” “M-m... I think I've read something like it... A, yes! There can be, but only in an emergency, when the swarm goes into autonomous existence mode - survival at any cost, in fact. The most authoritative changeling in the hive at the time of such need becomes a king. His job is to unite the others, to help the swarm stay together until a new Queen is born to lead the swarm.” “So death of a Queen is a precondition?” “No. For example, a swarm can reject a Queen if the vast majority of the lings in it think that she is not acting for the good of the swarm. Or she may simply die, either way the swarm goes into this kind of survival mode. It's easy to identify: the changelings in it start producing poison inside, and their coloring changes accordingly - from camouflage to a warning one. This reduces losses from predators, but has a bad effect on the longevity and immunity of the changelings themselves. In addition, changelings become... more individualistic, beginning to divide into discrete groups, and it is the King's job to keep them on the same course.” “Why? Isn't it easier to survive together?” “Decentralization does not allow enemies to destroy the weakened swarm in one blow, giving time to take cover, to adapt to the changed situation... And, sooner or later, one of the mares will bring the egg of a new Queen, who, once born and grown up, will lead the swarm, uniting it again." “Go-o-ot it... And still it lacks logic - I mean about the coloring. In theory they have to hide, but the coloring changes to a more vivid one...” “They hide, first of all, with their special magical disguise. The coloring, as I said, is mainly to protect them from accidental attacks by wild animals, at times when the cloak does not apply. The standard black coloring is inconspicuous, but a changeling detected by, say, a manticore will still be attacked by it. In survival form it will be detected for sure, but attacked only in self-defense - in any other case, the manticore will try to avoid it as much as possible - what's the point of hunting a creature that is almost glowing with poison? Though, especially stupid predators can attack even such a ling, but they are few in number. As a result, the poison and colorful coloration reduce accidental losses, which the swarm can't afford at the moment.” “So it turns out that the poisonous coloring is more effective than the standard one?” “It is, yes. But keep in mind that it also has a lot of disadvantages, and all of them mostly work in the long run - reduced life expectancy due to rapid wear and tear of the body, weakened immunity and a number of other unpleasant effects... That's why the poisonous form is an emergency option for changelings, not the main one - more vulnerable, but not wearing down the body beyond measure.” “Enlightening. By the way... I've also heard that lings are feed by love. Is it true or?..” “To an extent. They can't naturally regenerate magic - and it's critical to them. I should just say that they cannot breed without magic... Emotional feeding gives them that same magic. Without it, a changeling will be significantly weakened, both physically and by losing the ability to use magic and turn into something, but it will not starve them to death. They can eat ordinary food to satisfy their normal hunger... And not just ordinary food: they're... omnivorous, brrrr...” “By which emotions? Only love?” “Really - by every positive, but love from their point of view is... is the most nutritious. Oh, nightmare... That wouldn't be much of a problem, but the emotions are exactly what they EAT - the pony experiencing it feels them fading! How their joy melts, how their love fades... If you take a little, it's almost imperceptible, but not all changelings are careful enough. If Chrysalis' hive was older and had many experienced and skilled hunters in it, it would really be able to thrive in Equestria and not disturb anyone, especially since it is much more profitable for a changeling to receive love from a pony voluntarily - this is much less sensitive for a pony, but only the smartest and most experienced can act slowly and carefully like that, and there is a very limited number of them. The young and inept lings, however, are a disaster for ponies. They cross the line, suck it dry, lose half of it, get caught... Of course, that doesn't make them any more lovable at all. And from the Princesses’ side as well. And when you have a feisty, strong, and self-confident young Queen at the head of the hive, who, like any changeling Queen, is ready to smash herself to pieces for the sake of the swarm, you have a problem...” “And there’s no way for an agreement?” “Alas... If they don't get a good beating - don't even try. “You don't talk to fo-o-od”, stupid maggot...” “Can't they eat their own emotions? Or, I don't know, share them? Or they don't love each other in general so there's nothing to eat?” “They do. The Queen loves her children, the swarm loves its Queen... They can feed on the emotions of each other, but only if they are from different hives. But in your own swarm, it's like moving things from your left bag to your right bag. The emotions collected by the swarm go to the Queen, and the Queen distributes them among all the lings of the swarm. You can also eat it yourself, but that's a pretty heavy crime by their standards. If you, an adult hunter, eat what should be given to young larvae to grow, who are you after that?” “But, theoretically, it turns out that you can drink emotion from another changeling of your swarm purely for yourself.” “Changeling hives are rarely very numerous, so they are somewhat economical with their own comrades, trying to not let them die from anything. But what you said, even with their thrift, seems like... A death penalty.” “You're not a thief till you're caught.” “But not in a hive. The Queen is connected straight to the hive - she’d feel everything and understand everything.” “But if it counts as a crime, then it means it has happened?” “If the hive is in a critical absence of magic - yes, it can happen. No changeling in his right mind and would even think of such a thing. But the sense of magical hunger can lead to such things...” “Got it. But what about the Queen’s connection you've just mentioned?” “Queen connection with her hive? The Queen senses her subjects, she is able to command them and receive reports from them at a distance. The older and stronger a Queen is, the more information she receives with this connection and the farther it extends. But even with the oldest Queens, its range is still quite limited.” “Can ordinary lings have such connections?” “Only through the Queen, directly - no. By the way, a changeling King, if it comes to this, doesn't have such a feature.” “Well, an interesting lecture, Twi. Thanks.” “Anytime, Nightmare!” ... The lost fragment. Slight hentai :) Скелет_Карлос (Karlos the Skeleton) I have a better idea! Set up a political marriage between MH and Chrysalis. To get a peace agreement from the Changeling Kingdom, and create trade routes between it and Equestria :) WerWolf_54 Yes, the idea of marriage with Chrysalis has also been on my mind for a long time. From the point of view of Tia and Equestria - to have peace, tranquility and friendship of nations, from the point of view of the narrative - to watch the panic of MH, who just realized that his new wife has an ovipositor, and she is getting cozy to some Nightmare for a reason XD The swarm Queen is a long-lived creature, but not immortal. She maintains the swarm's numbers and manages it, trying to achieve prosperity and welfare. The ordinary individuals can also have offspring if they wish, but this is an emergency mechanism for the swarm, and such a process is not easy for a simple changeling mare, because it requires a lot of resources, which she, unlike the adapted Queen, does not have. The Queen herself can either lay unfertilized eggs in an incubator to give birth to ordinary individuals of the swarm or she can share a bed with a stallion who is strong and has proven himself (Changeling or not is not important, as long as the species is minimally compatible and has some sort of kinship. I mean, a pony would do, there's a reason they're so similar, right?) to fertilize the eggs and become a mother. Or - the hentai option - the Queen becomes the "father" by laying unfertilized eggs in a mare strong enough to bear them - and loyal enough not to fountain negativity at the Queen and her clutch in herself. One is fertilized and a new Queen will be born from it. The rest, developing with it, will bring her retinue - personal security, the backbone of the guard, officials who will be absolutely loyal to the new Queen. The incubator is not an option here - the new Queen needs a lot of magic and love for proper development, which is only available inside her mother :) Eggs are laid almost ripe and soon crack open. The new Queen, as a Princess, stays with her mother's swarm, learning her lessons, learning to rule, and serving as a support and deputy in case something happens to the Queen to lead her swarm as its new Queen. And when the Queen has a second daughter (and the Princess has a sister), the older daughter leaves her mother's swarm to start her own. By the way, Chrysalis, in my current mind, is just that, a young Queen, who is at most 100+ years old, who left her mother's hive not long ago and chose Equestria as a food base for her swarm. (What would those ponies do if something happens?) And she miscalculated it, underestimating the difficulties about working with the locals. 6. Griffons A bit was created about griffons as well :) Griffons, as it turned out, also had their own races. The first, considered the standard in Equestria and the most widely known, was a cross between a lion and an eagle. There could be some variations, of course, but that was about it. These guys lived in the northeast of Equestria, in and near the mountains. The climate there was rather unfriendly, the land was stony and unfit for agriculture, and the more suitable southern territories were lost to the ponies in one of the many wars with them... There was something growing on the land that remained, but fish from numerous rivers would have been all they had to eat if not for the ponies, trading metals and precious stones for provisions. They were not very good miners, but, as they say, if you want to live - you will do even more... The second race of griffons, the lesser known, lived far to the south of Equestria, somewhere in the tropical forests. I wonder if that's where Daring Do happens?.. Ahem, okay. They were a cross between a jaguar and a parrot, their front part a riot of shapes and colors. They would talk a lot, lie, fib and fantasize, and they were almost as obsessed with money and riches as their northern cousins. Yeah... I have a feeling that griffons have a common ancestor - a damned crow! Some would kill themselves for a shiny thing... These citizens were pirating in all the waters they had around - ponies haven't marked other "achievements” on their part. They were universally despised and totally mistrusted by the northern griffons, but parrots hardly cared about that. But a third race of griffons has never been encountered by ponies: at least, there was no reliable record of it. Moreover, neither did they exist among the griffons themselves, turning this race, a hybrid of panther and owl, into something semi-legendary. In the griffon lore, they were often referred to as "Night Griffons" or even "Dark Griffons," who were widely credited with wielding some kind of secret magic, kidnapping, and all sorts of dark and macabre deeds under the cover of night. In short, these guys were a scary fairy tale, like me. I chuckled. *** 7. The Crystal Empire and ancient Equestria I was thinking some time ago - where did the Crystal Empire even come from and how is it connected to Equestria? This part’s about CE, ancient Equestria, and the sisters. It’s about everything :) The original ponies’ lands laid there, far to the north from Equestria, a long-long time ago, including the unicorn kingdom, whose center was a city made of crystals, which astound everyone's imagination. But not only unicorns lived there; there was also a great number of earthponies, and the horned ones usually enslaved them during wars and used them as cheap labor. It was the most advanced state of Equus: they had known steam power and standardization of production before the Great Winter. When cold weather came and ponies faced the question of the need to move from the places that had become extremely inhospitable, it was not very difficult for earth ponies and pegasi to solve it: the former lost their main value - fertile lands, so they had no other choice, the latter were able to take their capital - Cloudsdale - with them, having lost practically nothing. The issue was very different for the unicorns in the rich and beautiful Crystal City, whose endless libraries were filled with great knowledge and its vaults with powerful artifacts. Many estimated the losses from the relocation to be too high: in the end, not all unicorns agreed to leave their homeland (of course, saving behind their earthpony slaves) and leave all their considerable achievements to frost and desolation. Queen Platinum became the leader of the departing party, and one of her advisors of the Mi Amore clan led the rest. The new Queen believed that she could defend what the snow and storms had not yet consumed: knowing what the wendigos were, she believed that the abolition of slavery and universal reconciliation, along with powerful magic, could stop the cold spirits. Platinum, a staunch supporter of unicorn supremacy, considered Mi Amore Cadenza's plan a manifest of foolish idealism not worth counting on. Ironically, the former Queen soon had to change her mind... The softer, more tolerant Cadenza, however, still managed to implement her idea. A lot of effort had to be made to free the earth ponies and create a monolithic and friendly society so as not to give food for the spirits of cold and enmity, but, with a squeak, slavery was abolished, and the earth ponies gradually began to become full members of society. The artifact created by the Queen of Crystal City, the Crystal Heart, also helped greatly, giving a sense of empathy to the ponies around it, allowing them to feel the world as others felt it... The Queen's daughter, having succeeded her mother on the throne, continued this process with enthusiasm, managing, in the end, to virtually eliminate racial discrimination altogether. The wendigos were fought off. But there were enough problems without them: much was destroyed by the cold and winter, there was a shortage of resources, there was nowhere to grow food... They had to look for help from Equestria that had formed by this time. Equestria, still rather amorphous and uninhabited at the time, enthusiastically bought high-tech goods from the CI and trained its specialists in its universities in exchange for food and raw materials. However, there were those in the CI who believed that Equestria and its territories rightfully belonged to the Empire: its citizens and - most importantly - its former Queen had lent their hooves for the founding of a unified pony state in the south. As time went by this position only strengthened: the dependence on Equestria became too obvious and it frightened many people, and the fact that they stood together with Equestria in the War of Chaos, as usual, was too quickly forgotten... In the end, the war faction was led by a talented and powerful magician named Sombra. Being a good speaker and organizer, he managed to gather around himself - and around the throne - the vast majority of the supporters of the idea. When the reigning Queen once again refused to lay claim to Equestria, Sombra staged a military coup, declaring himself the King. The overthrown Queen and her few loyal ponies tried to flee to Equestria, but never made it through. Was she killed by the cold and dangers on the way or was her life cut short by the usurper - now there’s no way to find it out... The history of Equestria, on the other hand, has also seen many upheavals over the years. The young republic, created by the pony tribes united before the wendigo threat, was far from being a unified state: everyone there pulled the blanket over himself, and this amorphous structure existed in spite of, rather than thanks to. However, life was getting better: cities were being founded, fields plowed, surrounding territories explored and occupied... The latter led to what later became known as the War of Chaos: the ponies, at their misfortune, stumbled upon the lands of the spirit of chaos, Discord. He was terribly bored: nothing interesting had happened in a long time, and then, out of nowhere, the ponies showed up... The amusements and games invented by the spirit of chaos were harmless only in his own mind. Luckily, the spirit did not allow any casualties, but it hazardously destroyed all attempts to live a normal life. It was impossible to come to an agreement with him: today he agreed to the terms, tomorrow he changed them, and the day after tomorrow he got tired of following the agreements and simply stopped following them. It wasn't possible to defeat him by force either: you don't bring a knife to a gunfight... In the end, the Pony State was, in fact, ruled by Discord for some time, who, in the meantime, passionately pitted and reconciled ponies against each other. In this madness, many of the technologies and magical knowledge the unicorns had brought with them faded into oblivion: later, many things had to be reinvented... Equally poorly preserved is the history of this period: even its exact duration is unknown. However, it was by its end that the three ponies who changed the world appeared on the scene: Starswirl the Bearded and his strange followers - Celestia and Luna, which had both horns and wings at the same time. The wizard himself, who was quite old already at the time, was born in Equestria, but he learned a great deal from the knowledge of the immigrant unicorns, and much more on his own, being an extremely talented wizard. Starswirl was rightly considered one of the most powerful wizards of all time: he was the only unicorn who did not fall from exhaustion after the ritual of raising the Sun or the Moon. It is a well-known fact that day and night used to change by themselves: whose hooves - the wendigos' or Discord's - are credited with making it happen on their own at a certain point is unknown. Where Starswirl's apprentices came from is unknown even to them. For a time the young alicorns were taught magic by him, living among the ponies, but later disappeared, only to reappear as guardians of some Elements of Harmony and defeat Discord, turning him into a statue by never before seen magic. Luna and Celestia were transformed into national heroines. Which was very awkward for the supreme council of the Republic, which, with its many failures, looked pale in comparison. Taking advantage of the mage's absence, an idea that Starswirl had successfully torpedoed many times before was pushed through: force the sisters to participate in the ritual of the rise of the celestial bodies What was the council counting on, getting into a quarrel with Starswirl and putting the people's beloved heroines in danger, is unknown. It was hardly a balanced decision... However, its consequences were even more fatal for the council than they could had been: the alicorns easily dealt with the celestial bodies, feeling, at most, malaise, and also receiving cutie marks with the Sun and the Moon. A month later, with the active participation of the angry teacher and an enthusiastic crowd, Equestria became a kingdom. The older sister, Celestia, with her talent and interest in government was especially adored by the people, became the Queen, while the younger, Luna, who preferred seclusion and had a less glittering reputation, was given the title of Princess. Starswirl went missing soon after. The sisters were off their feet trying to find their teacher and friend, but it was all in vain. This loss hit Luna the hardest: Swirl was almost the only friend of the unsociable Princess... In the meantime, Equestria was rapidly evolving: establishing relationships with its neighbors, creating its own science and production with considerable participation of the Crystal Empire. Several generations had passed, but the alicorn sisters were still young... It was then that the Castle of the Two Sisters was built, as a home and a residence, and a laboratory where the alicorns tried to understand what they were. However, the relatively quiet times were inexorably coming to an end... A couple of decades later, there was a coup in the Crystal Empire and Sombra came to power. The Sisters learned of this, in fact, only when many agreements and treaties were broken: The Crystal Empire ceased its training and exchange programs, recalling its specialists, and its diplomats began to insist that the trade treaties under which Equestria received artifacts and technology be renegotiated, apparently no longer wanting to sell anything to its neighbors except for raw materials. Tension hung in the air. Intel was bringing bad news: Sombra was actively preparing for war. Though there was a strong desire in the CI to distance themselves from Equestria so as not to end up becoming its colony, only a few supported an outright war. But on that side was the color of the Empire's magical power, led by Sombra, and you either joined his war machine voluntarily - or you were forced to do so. Soon Equestria was given an ultimatum: either join the Crystal Empire on the basis that Equestria was founded by its Queen, or join the Crystal Empire on the basis of defeat in the war. The fact that most of the Equestrian specialists and magicians had been trained in Crystal City played a role here - not many of them were eager to fight SUCH wizards, and the image of the Crystal Empire as an enlightened and friendly state was very strong in society. Celestia quickly realized that with such inputs, the chances of winning a war were extremely low, but she was also aware that the Crystalists themselves were also going to fight under a leash in Sombra’s hooves and his, by this time, very few associates. Yes, fortunately for Equestria, by this time Sombra had almost no loyal associates left, and the unicorn himself was to blame: having come to the throne through a coup, feeling his support weakening, Sombra was keen on looking for traitors around him and, oddly enough, he was finding them. The paranoid wizard had practically shot dead all his previously very serious reputation by the outbreak of war, and all that remained was a few loyal ponies and personal power in which he allegedly exceeded Starswirl himself... The decision was obvious: without Sombra, there would be a great possibility of not starting the war. Celestia and Luna personally traveled to the Crystal Empire to fight Sombra, counting on the fact that there was no one left in his entourage who was capable of actually continuing the course of the war after his death. The battle did not go well from the start. Sisters, who previously defeated Discord and changed day and night fatally underestimated "some" unicorn - a master of crystal magic, dark magic and artifact science, bearing the well-deserved title of archmage. But Sombra was not strong enough to handle two alicorns alone... However, the unicorn's paranoia played in his favor: he feared the sisters' visit, and prepared for it, expecting to trap them and put them in stasis until he could find a way to defeat them if he could not fight openly. The trap worked, but it wasn't able to hold the power of two alicorns... Celestia barely managed to drag herself and her sister out of the collapsing area before she turned around to see a snowy wasteland instead of Crystal City. It was as if the Crystal Empire was erased from reality. Upon her return, Celestia was frantic in her work: the past crisis had exposed too many problems, and the break with the CI had hurt Equestria's own education, production, magic, and medicine, which now desperately lacked both specialists and the ability to train them... Alas, while she immersed herself in solving the problems of the state, Tia sowed the seeds of problems in her own little family... Author's Note Now, with all of these chapters being published, I can surely say "The End". Good luck everyone in the upcoming year. I know that the farther we go, the worse it gets, but... As a proverb goes, "The hope dies the last". It feels so strange to have it ended after like what, 1.5 years? But there's always an end. Hope it's a good one. Listen to "Overkill", be good boys and girls, don't hesitate to mark mispellings and stuff. Goodbye.
