Dear Applejack Apple
I know people usually write letters to loved ones when they're... well... gone. And I know that you're not, I know that you’re striving better than any other I've seen in a long time. And I know that you are happier than you could ever be in life, but I felt I had to write this down, somewhere, before I crack.
I know for a fact that things with you have been looking up, it seems to have always be that way. I've heard plenty of kids back in high school comment on how perfect your world seems to be. They would say how happy you always were, and how lucky you seem to be. They’d say how much they wanted to be you.
I mean, with one glance, anyone could assume that.
You lived with the most loving family I've ever met, you have the greatest friends anyone could ask for, and then, you also have her.
What could possibly be wrong in your life? They would ask each other.
Each time I heard that, I wanted to beat the crap out of them, I wanted to beat them up for even thinking that, thinking that your world is just all that. Cause I knew, I know, for a fact that it was never that way. You had your struggles and challenges. No one gets to where they are without them.
Each time I heard them talking, I wanted to make sure those enviers knew better than to judge someone just by what they looked to be. And each time I thought about that, a new thought would always contradict it. A thought telling me, warning me, of how you'd want to deal with them. How you would have done things, and I would release those thoughts. You never wanted violence, not for nothing at least.
That's one thing that always puzzled me, how you stay so calm, even when people are so heartless towards you and those you care for. Through even the toughest of times you somehow remain as calm and as vigilant as ever, I could never do nor be that. I guess that's why we got into so many fights, huh?
Thinking back to all the times we spent together, very little of it was spent in a way I'm happy with. We fought and argued and bickered, never taking the time to do anything productive. It makes me hurt just thinking about how much time I wasted bickering with you, when I could have just talked and agreed, and not have ruined everything between us.
I suppose, that's why you ended up with her, not me.
You were always making yourselves seem to be the ideal couple. Always perfect, never imperfect. That's what you told everyone, that's what you made others believe, but it didn't work on me. I could tell that you weren't your hundred percent with her, and I will admit this; that gave me some hope. Hope that you'd finally return to me, tell me something I be been dying to hear for over a decade.
But instead, the next time we spoke turned out to be the worst day of my life. It was the day that I lost all hope, I can still remember everything, as clear as day.
I can still remember the way you looked at me, with those piercing green eyes of yours. I remember how nervous you were, and how giddy you seemed be at the same time. I remember that sweet, innocent smile you wore as you spoke. I remember every last detail, from the slow breeze that swept your golden locks, to the chatter of people around us, I remember it all.
But most of all, I remember the words you spoke, the words that cut my heart into two like a sharp sword doing to its enemy. I remember them better that anything else in my life and they haunt me, to this very day. I remember just how unthought out those simple little words seemed to have been. I remember just how imperfectly yet fluently those words slipped out of your mouth.
"I got engaged!"
You had asked me to be your maid of honor, to help out with your wedding, your wedding with her.
I had said yes, of course. I had said yes, no matter how much it hurt me to even think about it. Think about helping you, you and the rest of the bridesmaids, with your wedding.
When I say that, that day was the worst in my entire life, I mean every last word.
Seeing you vow to spend an eternity with her, seeing you say those two little words to her, and then finally sealing the deal with one, passionate kiss, was the hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life.
You meant the world to me, and you still do. You were my light guiding me through the dark tunnel I had been in for... well I don't remember how long.
I don't care if that sounded sappy, it's the truth, and I stand by it.
It's funny, when we first met, I hated you, and you hated me.
We used to rival each other in everything, from small things like who could be in the most clubs in school or who was the better singer or better runner. At first it was just enemy and enemy fights, nothing more, but as time passed, I started seeing more in you. I started realizing just how happy you made me. Whether I knew it back then or not, the point still stands; you made me the happiest I had ever been.
Our hatred for one another began withering and we even became good friends. Maybe not the closest friends in the world but I can still, proudly, say; you were, still are and will always remain to be the best thing that ever happened to me.
You stuck by me, through thick and thin, never leaving my side, not for a second. Sure, we had our fair share of disagreements, even after we became friends. But we still strived through them, and each time, we ended up better than ever.
We used to race each other, tease one another, pull pranks, and all! Being with you made me so happy, it made me the person I am today, that be in a good way or bad.
But now, now everything's different. We haven't even talked in months, nearly a year, let alone spend any time together.
I get why, you have a family to look after, you have a daughter to take care of, of course you'd be busy. Of course, you wouldn't have time to spend with some random teen you met in middle school. It makes sense, it really does.
I wish that things didn't have to end the way they did, that they didn't have to end with a huge fight. I wish I could go back and redo that entire day. I just hope that our friendship, at least, is not broken. I sincerely hope that someday, any day, you could find it in you to forgive me. You know that I'm an idiot, and I do things on a selfish vim more often than not, and you know that I don’t mean more than half of what I say.
But if I say things are horrible for me, I’d be lying.
I’m now a part of the best Football team in Canterlot City; The WonderBolts. I’ve been perusing that dream ever since I was able to talk, and finally managing it, felt like the victory I'd been looking for.
Soarin; the co-captain of the WonderBolts, asked me out the other day. A really sweet guy he is, I can say that. But I don’t know If I can say anything else. Its not that I don’t trust him, its more that I don’t want to hurt him. I don’t want to toy with him.
I can’t love him, I don’t think I can, ever.
When I told him this, he wanted to know why, he kept insisting that, at least, I give it a try. But I had to turn him down. When I did, things escalated to a full-on screaming match. He was upset that I wasn’t even trying, and said that there was no way I could be a part of the team, when I give up so quickly.
You can guess where it went from there.
Looking back, that fight wasn’t all that different from the one we had. But instead of accusations and random things we just pull out of nowhere, ours, the one you and I had, was filled with untruthful, hurtful, words, unexplained anger and, the one thing I remember that fight for being; our very last words to one another. It was what broke our friendship.
I thought it had been stronger, I thought our friendship could live through anything, but that one fight seemed to have been the last straw.
That last fight we had, ended up being our last, last fight, ever.
The words we said, the things we did, its all too much for me to even think of without tearing up. One thing I can remember, without having to tear up, is how our friends had to come and split us up. That was first fight we ever had, since becoming good friends, in which the others had to come and separate us.
You, of course, went with her, you chose to go with her over any of the other girls, and I’m not surprised.
You had been spending all your time with her, and it came as no surprise, to the others, when you announced your relationship. But for me, it was far, far different. When you told everyone about you two, I lost it. That day I had wept more than I had in a very, very long time
You don't know how it feels to watch the one person you've ever loved, choose someone else over you. It hurts more than I had ever known, and trust me when I say; I've felt a good deal of pain before that. At least I thought I had.
It hurts so much to think about everything that happened. To think about how many times I let you slip away from me. To know that I could have done something better, done something that is worth your attention instead of wasting all the time I had with you, fighting.
It pains me to no end, just wondering how much I could have changed if I was just better! If I had done things the way they should have been done, instead of the way I thought was right.
You were the light that guided me through that dark tunnel. And you don't know much it hurts to know that I blew that light out, for good.
You were the only person to ever try and reach out to me, the only one that had the guts to succeed. All others just stopped trying after a little push from me, but you, with that stubborn attitude of yours, stuck by till the end, and I can't be more grateful for that.
I don’t know if its in a good way or not, but you made me into the person I am today, you gave the hope to keep moving, to keep striving for more, and I can’t tell you how thankful I am for it, for everything you’ve done for me, knowingly or not.
I love you, Applejack. I love you to no end! I wish we could be together, I wish it could be a happily ever after, like in those fairy tails, but I know. I know for fact that that's just a hope, a mere wish that'll never come true. But know this...
I'll never stop loving you, Applejack.
The End!
Author's Note
Hey Folks!
Its been a little while since I got a story out, and I figured, while some are in the works, I'll get this new one going and out. This was just a small-one-hour-project, to keep my mind sharp. So, if there are any misspells or grammar issues do feel free to mention them below.
One last thing
The I in this story is meant to represent Rainbow Dash
The You in this story is meant to represent Applejack
The Her in this is left as reader's interpretations
Anyways, hope this was wroth a little looksie, and feel free to leave your thoughts, corrections or overall opinion on this fic below.
MSz out!
