Aydin smiled softly as he gestured to the colorful, glitter-laden box on his desk surrounded by a small menagerie of colorful equine dolls. He spoke kindly to the camera in front of him. “So as you can see, while the Gen 7 Collecter’s Edition Figurine Box Set might be a bit less impressive than some fans might have been hoping for, it’s still a high-quality product and makes a lovely addition to any fan’s menagerie of merchandise. Tune in next week when I review the latest episode of Season Three and weigh in on the addition of Sleipnirs to the show’s mainline continuity. Till then!”

He gestured with a hand to his computer to end the recording, the device confirming it with a soft beep and projecting the recorded footage onto a hard light Holoscreen for him to view and edit at his leisure. He gave a sigh and ran a slender hand through his dark, fluffy hair. Maybe he would go out and get something to eat. Recording always made him feel sort of peckish after the fact.

He exited his office and moved through his modest, spartan one-bedroom apartment. It was small, but it was all he needed. Just because he could afford a bigger apartment did not mean he needed one, after all. He searched for a moment and found his jacket and keys before making his way out into the cold.

Lucky enough for him, his favorite place to grab a bite to eat was right down the street. He was able to walk right on in and make his order without spending too much time tramping through the snow. Unfortunately coming here meant he had to deal with-

“Hello, Valued Customer!”

Ugh, he couldn't stand the Bio-Droid they had manning the front desk. The strange, uncanny-looking thing, pale and hairless, with smooth, pseudo-human features and a slender frame that the uniform it wore hung off of limply. God, he was so happy that the Mark Ones were getting phased out for the new models in this franchise. He was hoping they would get around to this one soon, but it had already been six months since the official release of the gene sequence for base Mark Two production, and they still hadn’t bothered.

“Yeah yeah, hey there. I would like a meatloaf sandwich please, extra sauce, extra onions, no pickles, add tomatoes.” He said In a polite, cordial tone. Sure, the thing didn’t really have feelings, it was a robot of meat and bone, only capable of executing whatever rudimentary tasks it was trained to perform like any standard Mark One All-Purpose Unit. But even so, he felt the need to at least put on the facade of polite conversation with the thing in front of him, if only from the force of habit.

The Droid smiled at him, and he gave a small shiver before it began to speak. “Sure thing, Aydin. I’ll be sure to throw in your usual extras,” it said from rote as it did for all regular customers. It was standard protocol for the droid to learn more about regulars the more they visited to enhance the customer experience. It was meant to make the interaction more pleasant and organic.

“Yeah, thanks man,” he said with a small, tired smile. The Droid typed his order into the touch screen in front of it and the one in the kitchen began to whip his order up. He went to sit down, placing his face in his hands and drawing a small breath. “Ugh…”

About fifteen minutes later he was finally back in his home, greasy treasure in tow within a damp-bottomed paper bag. He sat down and unpacked it, mouth-watering as he unwrapped the wax paper. Droids be damned, the Meatloaf Sandwiches at the Loaf Barn were definitely worth the hassle.

Sadly, it seemed as if his gratification would be delayed just a bit longer. Right before he got to take his first bite, his phone rang. He gave a small sigh and set the sandwich down, wiping the grease from his fingers off with a napkin before answering.”Yes, Hello, Aydin speaking.”

“Mister Ulsu, we need to talk,” A familiar voice on the other end of the line said evenly.

Aydin’s eyes widened slightly. “Oh! Dave, what’s up man!” He said to the Hasbro Representative In a jovial tone. He was panicking a bit internally though. Usually, they would not call so quickly after sending him a new product. Something was up. “I was just about to start the editing for that video on the Gen 7 Collecter’s Edition Figurine Box Set you guys sent me. I think it’s gonna be a real banger.”

“That’s great to hear, Aydin, but I am afraid we have a bit of a problem. I’ll be blunt. We found your Onlyfans.”

Ohfuckohfuckohfuck

“Oh uh...well shit.”

“Indeed. As you know this sort of conduct is a breach of your contract with our corporation. You face a considerable risk of litigation should this become public.” The representative said plainly. It was not a threatening tone, but that was to be expected. After all, the threat was already plain enough.

Aydin swallowed softly and responded. “Should it? You mean you are not simply going to out me over it and void my contract?”

“Oh mister Aydin, of course not, you are far too valuable to us for us to simply cast you aside that way.” the rep said in what he probably thought was a reassuring tone. “That being said, the nature of our business relationship will have to change somewhat in light of this. You are aware of the release of the Mark Two Open Source Sequence, yes?”

“Ah uh, yeah, I read about that a while back online. What about it…?” He said, feeling a bit uneasy about where this might be going.

“Well, The boys down at RnD have been cooking up something we think will be revolutionary! Real-life Ponies.” he says with a small cackle. “Real Ponies that show genuine emotion and bond with the users. And testing with kids is going amazingly, they love the things. However, we aren’t stupid. We are aware that there will be those who purchase these items for...less wholesome purposes.” He says, sounding almost disgusted for a moment.

“And that’s where you come in! We want you to take one of these bad boys for a test drive and record your experience with it over the course of six months. All expenses paid of course, and if you aren’t satisfied with it at the end you can always drop it off at a Bio-Recycling Center to be reprocessed.”

Aydin winces at the use of the term “reprocessed”. It always made him wince how it was considered acceptable to just toss the things into a glorified meat grinder when they weren’t useful anymore, even animals got treated better than that. “I appreciate the offer sir but erm...As you are probably aware from my Onlyfans Content, I am er…”

“Gay? Yes, we are aware. Luckily the planned releases include male ponies, gender-bent models, and er...more exotic standard configurations. We will send you a catalog of models to choose from out of our upcoming MLP-***-ES line of Escort Droids. The Boys down at the lab call ‘em ‘Clopper Units’,” The rep said with a slightly uncomfortable chuckle. “We only have units from Gen 4 and 5 Right now though, since we estimate that the audience that grew up with those will be the most profitable Initially. Admittedly, between you and me, I think it's also to try to make sure that some kid watching G7 doesn’t accidentally get traumatized by seeing their favorite pony getting a piledriver from some fat dude with a neckbeard on Twitter.”

An awkward silence ensues after this last comment, as it rightfully should.

“In any case, we have already E-mailed you a beta access key to the website to order your unit. We have a good few already prepared for shipping and we are counting on you to really make these things look fun for the degenerate crowd. Don’t fuck this up and you’ll be just fine. Hell, you’ll probably get a significant bonus.” Dave said reassuringly as he seemed to be wrapping his little spiel up. “So, are you gonna play ball and fuck some tiny horses or are we going to have to get lawyers involved?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Two Days later, Aydin was waiting outside for a package to drive. The Amazon Delivery Droid should have been here an hour ago! He was tapping his foot nervously, impatiently as he waited for-

*Ding*

Ah, there it was, the proximity notification from his phone told him the Droid would be here shortly. And soon enough there it was, coming down the sidewalk with startling speed and carrying a rather hefty looking crate. It was presumably part of a team that worked outwards for about a block from a single truck making deliveries by hand. The All-Purpose Unit deposited the Crate gently on the ground in front of him, and Aydin signed for it before the thing smiled at him and dashed off again, even faster without the weight holding it back.

He shuddered slightly at the inhuman display and brought the crate inside with some difficulty. Getting it inside was not a fun experience. Neither was getting it open. He Finally managed to bust the exterior wooden box open to reveal….

Author's Note

And what does it reveal? Well, that is where you come in, my wonderful readers!

I have prepared a poll where you all get to decide the make and model of the Droid our protagonist selected in this first chapter, which can be accessed Here!

members of my Discord got first crack at it, but your vote counts for just as much. So don't hesitate to let me know who you want to see getting some action this holiday season >:3