Oh my god! Oh my god, I killed them! Oh fuck, oh god I can taste their brain, I’m going to be sick!

Everything had finally become too much and I was breaking down… And throwing up.

My mind was racing, and the edges of my vision were fading in and out in time with my heartbeat, I felt like I couldn’t breathe.

I just killed two people; they could talk and think, and I killed them! I want to go home, please, just let me go home!

I was panicking, the fact that I had completely lost control of myself wasn’t helping, I had heard of seeing red before, but this was on another level, it was like an adrenalin spike mixed with psychotic rage, at that moment had I wanted to kill them, wanted to rip them open and tear out their insides.

What happened? How did it happen? What they were doing was horrible and they probably deserved punishment, but not like that!

After retching a couple more times and having nothing left to throw up, I fell onto my side and just lay there.

After a couple of minutes of coughing and almost sobbing, I finally manage to get myself under some semblance of control and shakily sat back up.

I looked around the oasis, purposefully not looking at the two corpses, I didn’t know if I could stomach that so soon.

My eyes fell on the lone smaller bug horse that had had several parts pulled off, the other smaller ones were nowhere to be seen.

They must have scattered when I attacked the bigger ones, I can’t really blame them, I would have run too if I had seen something like me running out of the bushes, I thought.

Getting my hooves under me, I walked to the prone insectoid and looked them over, green blood was leaking from their head and the back of their neck where the crest had been, as well as along the top and bottom of their small tail, where their other frill used to be, their wing cases were also hanging at an odd angle, by the look of it they were barely still attached.

“Ok, I don’t know what or who you are, but your screeching did something to me and made me kill two people, you are not allowed to die, not until I get some answers.”

I said aloud as I looked at them, trying to think of a way to stop the bleeding.

Wait a minute, I have healing spit, all I need to do is lick their wounds… go on, Just lick them wounds, this is so gross!

I leant down and stuck out my tongue and started to lick the broken chitin on their head and neck.

“It tastes like the other one’s face, oh god, don’t throw up on its head, don’t throw up on its head, I thought the mantra over and over as I kept licking, after half a minute I couldn’t taste blood anymore and looked them over.

Ok they are still bleeding from the butt, well not the butt but close enough, I can’t lick that, maybe I can just spit on it?... Actually, that makes me feel wired too and I could miss and get resin where the sun don't shine, ok just do it, it’s to save their life, just do it

I used my new arms to gently pick up the smaller bug horse and turn them around, trying not to damage their wing cases any more than they already were.

“Ok, that’s a female bug horse butt, just don’t look at it and fix the tail wound.”

I leant forward and, with very careful aim, licked the wound where her tail use to be.

Ew, ew, ew, just a couple more seconds and… Done, ok, I’m really sorry miss bug horse, I promise it was to stop you from bleeding out.

I put the unconscious bug horse back on the ground and sat back, wondering what I was meant to do now, I noticed I was clenching and unclenching my hand caws subconsciously and suddenly realised something was missing.

Where did my nice rock go?

I thought as I looked around, my vision passed over the dead bug horses and I saw a glint of reflected sunlight on one of them.

I stood up and hesitantly made my way over to the first one- the first one I had killed; my shiny rock was embedded in the side of its head like an axe in a block of wood.

I retched again at the sight but still had nothing left to vomit, after a minute I calmed down enough to reach down and grab the rock and pull it from the creature’s head.

The head came with it for a couple of inches and then with a wet squelch fell back to the floor, and I swiftly went back over to the small bug horse.

What am I going to do now? I’m going to be a criminal for this, the bug horse cops are going to hunt me down and then I’ll probably get what she was having, I think as I look down at the battered bug.

Oh god, what if she’s a criminal?! What if I just helped the bug horse version of Jack the ripper and murdered the bug horse police!

As I was just about to start freaking out again my patient started waking up.

I put out a hand to stop them from getting up and said, “Hey, be careful, you’re hurt and moving too much could make it worse.”

I then stopped as I noticed my voice was not my voice, not only was it definitely a women’s voice it also sounded like two or maybe three people were all talking from my mouth.

Ok, one more thing to freak out about… Wait, am I a woman now? … Ok deal with bug horse first, then see if I still have my junk later, I thought as the small bug horse started to look around bleary-eyed.

“I’m alive?”

She seemed to be asking herself rather than asking me, she also had a rather masculine voice but how should I know what’s normal for a bug horse.

She slowly turned her head in my direction and slowly looked up to my face.

“Hello, how are you feeling?... Sorry, that was a stupid thing to ask,” I said rubbing my face with a hand, only to have it come away covered in green blood.

The bug horse’s eyes went wide, and she quickly averted her eyes from my face turning her face to the floor as she started shaking.

“Hey, it’s ok, Miss, I know you must be in pain but I’m sure it can be fixed.”

“Please, I beg you, just make it quick," she whispered as she kept shaking.

“What? I don’t…”

I suddenly realised her only knowledge of me was that I was comparatively huge, I had killed two of her kind, that were themselves bigger than her, while also in a blind rage, and was now covered in their blood, so she was probably expecting me to do the same to her.

“I’m not going to hurt you, I know you have no reason to trust me, miss, but I swear I have no intention of attacking you. I mean I closed your wounds, right? I wouldn’t do that if I meant to harm you, would I?”

She slowly reached up one of her arms to the top of her head to feel the resin on her head and neck then while still keeping her head lowered, she looked over her back to her tail to see the resin over that wound.

“See, your safe now,” I said, trying to sound reassuring.

“But, why? I’m not from your Hive, your Majesty, I’m from th-… I’m a Hiveless worker and I’m in your territory, why haven’t you drained me to a husk or just eaten me?” She asked, still looking at the floor in front of me.

“I don’t know what you mean by draining you, Miss, or what a hive is in this context, also, no, why on earth would I eat you, you’re another person,” I replied, trying to keep up the friendly tone while discussing cannibalism.

“wha.. but... You’re an adult Queen, you must have a Hive, unless you don’t call it a Hive maybe, also every Changeling knows what being drained means, it’s being drained” she said, starting to slowly look up at me just a little but still not meeting my eyes.

Now that she was looking towards my face, I could see her eyes were the same colour as her shell, just like how my eyes were the same red as mine, although hers were more like a solid orb of colour instead of a cats eye.

“Changeling? Is that what you- I mean, what we are, Miss? And what do you mean I’m a Queen?”

She just looked at me with something between confusion and pants-shitting fear, “yes, your Majesty, we are Changelings and you’re definitely a Queen, by your physique and use of body-based magic I would say you must be a War Queen, also, you Majesty, why do you keep calling me Miss?”

She asked before her eyes widened again and she went back to looking at the floor and quickly stammered out, “I-I’m sorry, you Majesty, c-call me whatever you like, I beg your forgiveness.”

War Queen? Body-based magic? What does any of that mean?! And I keep calling her miss because, well, I saw her parts, I think, as it was my turn to avert my eyes.

“I’ve been calling you miss because I saw your, um, your parts when I was putting resin on your tail wound,” I said, feeling a rather awkward

The Changeling looked down at herself and said “you mean my vagina, your Majesty? What does that have to do with me being a Miss? Every Changeling has one, just like every Changeling has a penis,” the Changeling said with a confused look on their face.

“Sorry I shouldn’t have assumed that- wait, sorry, what?! We all have what now?!”

I said trying to look under myself and at my butt at the same time, nearly falling over in the process.

I obviously can’t see my butt at the required angle to confirm anything, but I did seem to have a slight gap in my chitin where I thought my junk should be.

ok so my junk's internal, like a lizard? Well, my male junk at least… This day just keeps getting stranger, I thought.

“All Changelings have both, we are biologically hermaphrodites, your Majesty, how can you not know this?” They asked and then once again look at the floor.

“I’m sorry, your Majesty, I beg your mercy,” they said starting to shake again.

“Ok, will you stop saying that! I’ve already said I’m not going to hurt you,” I snapped in frustration.

“I’m sorry, your Majesty, it’s just that I’m a Hiveless Changeling, we are normally killed on sight, I’m just trying to show you the respect you deserve.”

I let out a sigh, “no, no I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have snapped at you, I’m just confused and hungry… and scared,” I quietly admitted, “I don’t know where I am, I don’t know what I am, and I just killed two people to save someone I’ve never even met before.”

The smaller Changeling just gave a small nod as I spoke, “I apologise, your Majesty, but might I ask a question?”

“Um, sure go ahead.”

“What do you mean you don’t know what you are? Getting lost and not knowing where you are I can understand, but how can you not know that you’re a Changeling Queen?” They said, fidgeting with their hand claws.

“I mean, you look like you’re in your second moult, so you must be at least 6 years old and even if you don’t have a Hive now, you must have been hatched in one, a Queen egg just wouldn’t have enough Love to survive and hatch unless it was being looked after,” the Changeling said, now looking up at my lower face again.

I could still see fear in their face but at least it wasn’t cowering anymore.

ok, so, do I tell the truth here? I mean I will sound totally mad if I say I’m an alien from a different dimension, I mean imagine if some rando walked up to you and said “hey mister human, I’m a bug horse in human form!” yeah no I don’t think that would go over well, not yet at least.

As I was thinking all that, I looked down at my shiny rock and had an idea, “I umm, I hit my head a couple of days back. I woke up with a really bad headache and couldn’t remember much of anything, all I had with me was this rock,” I said as I held up my shiny rock.

The Changeling look at the rock and their jaw dropped, “I’ve never seen a star opal that big before! Did you make that yourself?!”

I was a little taken back by how excited the little Changeling had become, “umm, no, at least I don’t think so, it was with me when I woke up, is there something special about it? Other than being a pretty rock I mean.”

The little bug horse just nodded and said, “they are one of, if not, the best gemstone for enchanting, the Peytral of a wealthy Queens royal guard is meant to have a small one set into it,” they said, placing a hand claw over their upper chest, in I assumed the place this Peytral thing would be.

“With the right work an enchanted gemstone Peytral makes the Changeling wearing it stronger, faster and tougher, but those are only about the size of a tooth, a Queens Peytral might have a bigger one but even that is only said to be about one-tenth of the size of yours!”

I looked at my shiny rock, or I should say my star opal, with new appreciation, then something the Changeling had said caught up to me, “wait you said enchanting? As in magic? Actually, you said something about body magic a minute ago too, are you trying to tell me magic is real here?!”

They looked at me with some confusion.

“Yes, your Majesty, of course, magic is real, how could we shapeshift, eat love or use our horns to move stuff if magic wasn’t real? And that’s not counting all the actual spells there are.”

Holy shit! I’m in a fantasy world! Wait, before I get too excited, I need to see this.

“Show me, do some magic on this fruit," I said as I walked over to one of the nearby trees and pull down a fruit that I then put it on the floor in front of the small bug horse.

The Changeling looked at the fruit, then back at me, then their horn lit up with an orange glow and the fruit lifted into the air in front of them with the same kind of glow around it.

It was my turn to drop my jaw, I just couldn’t really believe what I was seeing.

It’s genuine magic and if they can do that, then maybe there is a way to get home! I mean I’m a Changeling now, and I have a horn, so I just need to learn how and then I can work on getting my life back.

“You need to teach me how to do that!” I said, leaning towards the Changeling.

“Umm, ok, your Majesty, I understand and ob-ahh!” The Changeling cried out and the glow around their horn cut out and the fruit fell to the ground as the Ling put their hands on their head.

“Are you ok?!” I asked with a look of concern.

Gently rubbing their head they replied, “yes, well, no, my Love reserves are getting low, I’m just a Worker, we aren’t given much love to begin with, and with my body trying to fix its self, I’ll likely be fully drained by tomorrow evening,” they said in a sad tone.

“Wait, so without literal love, you’re going to starve? How do you get more? Can I just hug you or something to give you love?”

The little Ling looked up at me with wide eyes, “you- you would give some of your own Love reserves to a Worker? No Queen I’ve ever heard of has given a Worker some of her own Love before.”

I just shook my head and said, “well, I say you can have some of mine, I must have some love, right? Since I’m a Changeling and alive.”

The Ling nodded and said, “you must have some to still be able to walk around yes, and the Love you must have taken from the Soldiers would have definitely been a good amount, they had all the Love for the other Worker and I for the mission.”

I looked at them with a blank expression, “I didn’t take anything from the Soldiers, I don’t know how I would even take love from someone”

The Changeling looked at me and then seemed to catch on, “right, head injury, you can’t remember anything, right, ok just go over to them, open their chest cavity and pull out their Affectus Ventris, then you just have to eat it and you will get all their stored Love.”

Excuse me fuck?! Eat part of them?!

“Eat part of them?! But isn’t that Cannibalism?” I said feeling a little sick all over again.

“Yes, but what does that matter? They are still fresh, I mean they are probably still even warm so no rot will have set in, they are perfectly fine to eat,” the little Ling said.

I just stood there with a deadpan stare, “why do I get the horrifying feeling that eating other Changelings is not uncommon?” I asked, half rhetorically.

“Because it’s not? Your Majesty, why is it a problem? You’re a Queen, it’s your right to eat anyling you want,” they said, as though that was a completely normal thing to have happen.

“Is there no other way for me to get the love out of them?” I asked, really not wanting to eat part of someone.

“If they were alive you could just drain them normally, but you can’t drain something dead, and I can’t eat them, the amount of Love in a Soldiers Affectus Ventris would overfill my worker body,” the Ling said looking a little ill all of a sudden.

“I'd get love drunk, then experience Love poisoning, then die anyway from the overload, and if I have to choose starving or Love overload, I pick starving.”

Ok, so, something really nasty happens if a Changeling gets overfilled with love, got it, I thought to myself.

“Ok, so either I cut open the two people I murdered and- and eat some of their internal organs, or you starve, ”I ask before having an uncomfortable realisation.

“Actually, now that I think about it, I have been feeling hungry, even after eating those fruits last night, am I going to starve too?” I ask.

The Changeling slowly nods and says, “if you can feel the hunger then you only have a few days before you are in my situation, your Majesty.”

I let out a resigned sigh and took a couple of deep breaths, “ok, ok I guess I have to do it, but I don’t even know what I’m looking for, what’s an Affectus Ventris? And what does it even look like?” I asked.

“A Changelings Affectus Ventris is the organ that stores and processes love in the Changelings body, it looks similar to a stomach mixed with a lung and it’s located next to the physical food stomach behind the rib cage below the lungs,” the Changeling said, almost as if they were reading off an entry in a book.

“Wait, Changelings have a skeleton? I thought we were insects; I didn’t think insects had bones?” I said as I looked over to one of the dead Changelings.

“Yes, we have a skeleton and although we look like, and share traits with, insects we also share traits with mammals too, internally we share many of the characteristics with the local Zebra population that our shape is derived from, just with some extra parts,” they explained.

I nodded along as I walked the twenty or so steps to first dead Changeling, the one whose head I had bitten in half.

With a grimace I dragged the Dead Soldier back over to the prone Changeling, trying very hard not to think about what I was about to do.

To try and distract myself I started talking to the Changeling again, “you seem to know an awful lot about this, I thought you said you were a Worker? Doesn’t that mean you carry things or collect food or something?”

“You are partly correct, your Majesty, I am just a normal Worker now, but I used to be an Athenaeum Drone, a storage for the Hives knowledge,” they said with a far-off look in their eyes.

“So, you’re like a historian mixed with a science book?” I asked.

“I don’t know what a science book is, is that like a scroll?” They asked.

"Um, Yeah I guess they are both things you wright information in," I said.

“Interesting, I've not heard of them before, anyway, yes, I do have knowledge of the Hives history, as well as other knowledge that the Hive has gathered over my lifetime, for example, the population of the Ochre Hive is…” the trailed off, not finishing the sentence.

“The population is?” I prompted, hoping they would continue.

With a look of profound sadness they continued, “I can’t remember, I have a perfect memory, it’s what I was made for, I mean I stopped getting new information when I was regressed, but I still had the old knowledge, how could it all just go-“ they abruptly stopped

They seemed to have come to some kind of realisation as they said, “I lost my Hive link, it’s all gone, all the things I learned about the Hive, it’s gone,” they said in an almost whisper, looking almost lost.

“Hey now, it can’t all be gone, right? You were just telling me about the Affectus Ventris thing and how my sparkly stone can be enchanted.” I said, trying to lessen the blow for them.

After a second their eyes seemed to refocus, “you’re right, your Majesty,” they said, “I think I still have general knowledge, the kind of thing most Drones would know, but all my information specific to my old Hive is just blank, I- I don’t think I would even recognise my Queens face if I saw her,” the Changeling said sadly.

I felt genuinely bad for them, and like even more of a dick for pretending to have memory loss when they were actually suffering from it for real, “hey, I know it doesn’t mean much, but I’m sorry, for what it’s worth,” I said.

The Changeling looked up at me, and for the first time seemed to actually look me in the eyes, even if it was only for a second.
"Thank you, your Majesty, to have the sympathy of a Queen is-... it-... well that means an awful lot,” they said, before wincing a little and placing one of their claws on their stomach.

Realising that their hunger must be getting worse I took and beep breath, and after five long seconds let it slowly out, “ok, how do I do this? I’ve never done invasive chest surgery before.”

The Changeling came a little closer and looked over the body, “well since you don’t remember any magic, you will have to do it the old-fashioned way, with your claws, teeth and horn.”

I just blinked at them.

They blinked back, then after about five seconds of blinking at each other, they seemed to understand.

“Oh right, Ok, first you need to get through the chitin plate on their chest, use your horn to make a hole you can get your claws in, and make sure you don’t puncture the Affectus Ventris so maybe start a little higher up.”

I nodded and tried to sike myself up for what I was about to do.

Ok, you can do this, just stab them with your horn, then rip their chitin off and suck their love out… I hate this so much.

I lined my horn up the best I could, given the angle, and then thrust my head forward, with surprisingly little resistance the sharp tip of my horn went through the thick chitin and into the corpse’s chest.

“Ok, good, now get your claws in there and start pulling the plate apart, your Majesty,” they said.

Following the instructions, I grasped the plate on each side of the hole I had made and pulled them apart.

With a crunch and the sound of tearing flesh, the plate cracked down the middle and I was able to spread it open like the pages of a book, leaving me with a good view of their ribs and the organs under them.

“Oh god, I think I might be sick again,” I said starting to get lightheaded.

“Just take a deep breath, your Majesty, and remember these Changelings were your enemies, they would have done the same to you and besides that, you are a Queen, it is your right to use the bodies of lesser Changelings however you see fit.”

Well the first part makes me feel a bit better and it’s the thought that counts, I thought to myself as I started to snap and pull out the ribs with my hand claws, they made horrible cracking sounds as I pulled them apart, it again seemed far too easy to snap bone.

After a couple more minutes I had unobstructed access to the dead Changelings chest cavity, “ok, I’ve taken out the ribs and I can see the- the organs, which one is it?” I asked, still feeling unwell.

The little Changeling peered over and looked around before pointing at one of the organs, “it’s that one, the one with a lighter pink colour.”

I looked at the organ, it looked almost like a third lung, “so, I just pull it out?” I asked, taking more deep breaths.

“Yes, but I would recommend doing it with your mouth, once the Affectus Ventris is out of the body it will start leaking Love into the air, fast, so you need to swallow it as quickly as you can to minimize wastage.”

“You want me to swallow that whole? Can my throat actually open enough for that?” I asked, looking back at the organ that must have been the size of a rugby ball.

“Yes, your Majesty, I can assure you that a Queen can swallow an Affectus Ventris whole with ease, trust me.”

I decided not to ask and just got ready, “ok, here I go, eating organs, let’s do this.”

I lent my head down into the hole I’d ripped in the Changeling Soldier and put my maw around the still warm organ, I started to pull back but after only an inch or two it stopped and wouldn’t come out any further.

Of cause it’s still attached, how could I be stupid enough not to cut it out first?! I thought to myself.

With a frustrated growl I braced my two front hooves against the corpse and jerked my head back with as much force as I could, the organ came free, and I fell onto my butt.

“Quickly, your Majesty, you need to swallow it!” The little Changeling said with some urgency as wisps of pink vaper started to leak from the perforated organ.

Wasting no time on thinking about what I was doing I tipped my head back and forced the thing down my throat the same way I’d seen some large lizards eat.

The organ went down with surprising ease and after only a couple of seconds the feeling of hunger had quickly vanished, in fact, I felt better than I had since I woke up in the new body.

“Wow, that’s… I don’t really know how to describe that,” I said as I felt an electric tingling rush go up my spine, causing me to shiver slightly.

The changeling nodded and said, “large amounts of love if consumed in one go can have that effect, the more you get in a feeding the better you feel, for anyone but a Queen it can be dangerous though,” the Ling explained.

“All lesser Changelings have a limit to how much Love they can store, but a Queen is the centre of the Hive, she can hold an all but limitless amount, there are even legends of Queens that could hold so much Love, they could carve out entire Hives all alone, with just their magic,” they said, talking in a tone similar to someone talking of a miracle a God they were devoted to had supposedly performed.

“That sounds pretty amazing,” I said, shaking off the last of the tingles.

The Changeling looked past me to the other corpse, “there is still the other Soldier, it would be a waste not to take its Love too, your Majesty.”

“Right, right, I’ll go get the other one and then you can tell me how to give you some of the love energy,” I said with a nod.

As I walked over to the other dead Changeling, I didn’t see the sudden look of sadness on the Drones face.

After bringing the corpse back I used my newfound skills with open love gland surgery to remove the second Affectus Ventris and, with some reluctance, swallowed it down, again feeling a rush of energy and rather pleasant feelings just like with the first one.

Turning back to the Changeling, I asked, “ok, love organs eaten, now, how do I give you some of this love?”

After staying silent for a couple of seconds the Ling looked up with a sad expression.

“You can’t, your Majesty, even if you want to give me such a great honour, it’s not possible,” they said, in a sombre tone

“Only Changelings from the same Hive can transfer Love to one another, if you wanted to give Love to a Changeling outside your Hive, it would have to be with Love gel and that takes days to make, you also need to eat special herbs to make it and they don’t grow around here either.”

Their face turned from sad to a more resigned look and they again looked me in the eyes, this time not turning away.

“You’ve been really nice to me, to be honest, I think you might be the nicest Changeling I’ve ever met, so I… I want to request, to humbly ask, if you would kill me," they said.

"I don’t want to starve to death and there’s no way for me to get love fast enough to save me, so I would prefer to die quickly than have to slowly waste away… Please, your Majesty,” they said, bowing their head.

Author's Note

More horse words! More!

So ch3 is done, and once again, it is longer than it was originally going to be, I see a trend starting lol.

There are again some bits that I think could be done better, I'm just not yet sure how I would go about doing it, there is a good chance that I will come back and edit/redo these early chapters when I have more experience.

Anyway, Changelings have strange biology and I plan to talk about that more as it becomes relevant, you had fair warning it would be talked about in the description.
Also, it turns out bugs don't have special names for their genitals, it's just the normal words like everyone else, "the more you know.gif"

No updates to the map yet as there has been no movement but I'm still going to throw it here for fun.