Anon Filly Bucks Up the World

by AvariceArtifice

Rating: mature
Tags: Anon, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Comedy, Other, Starlight Glimmer, Sex, Profanity, Random, Violence, Narcotics, Main 6, Young Six
Length: 4714

A story about a particular non-descript green filly completely destroying the world of happy colorful ponies

This is a random little story where Anon Filly does things that, in pony society, are unthinkable. From smaller scale profanities, to cataclysmic acts of destruction, she will prove that even in the body of a filly, the mind of a human is a destructive force to be reckoned with.

Cover art by Kumakun, will remove upon request.

Published 2022-01-10 03:20:01 UTC
Last updated 2022-01-11 03:39:12 UTC

The Adorable Bringer of Doom

---*---*---*---

"Why are we here?" One of life's greatest mysteries. To one human turned filly, the answer is; "Sitting here while the princesses try to figure out what to do with me."

"They CLEARLY know I should be impossible. And yet, here I am. The mind of an alien, in the body of a juvenile horse girl. Damn you RNGesus! I could've had wings, or a horn, or BOTH. Hell, I could be an ADULT at least! But NOOOOOOOOOOO. Just one of those USELESS mud ponies with a fucking QUESTION MARK on my ass! Discord, if this was your fault, I'm gonna fuck you in the vagina with a baseball bat covered in turpentine laced barbed wires!" She fumes, her visible pouting growing more and more prevalent.

At this point, she's not even paying any attention to what the princesses are talking about. All she knows at this very moment, is that she's angy. "Stupid candy ass, sparkle ass, USELESS ASS princesses! I don't even GET to see the better ones cause they retired! NOW how am I supposed to see their finely-aged to perfection asses!"

"Well, miss Anon, was it? We think we've found a solution for your living situation for the time being. Until we can see if it's even possible to return you to your home world." Princess Sparklebutt addresses the little green ball of hate.

"I TOLD you, my name is ANNIE! GET IT RIGHT WORM-BRAIN!" Anon shouts angrily, still not really accepting the name.

"Well, Annie isn't exactly a name any pony would have, and given your question of a mark, Anonymous suits you well, little filly." Twilight says calmly, doing her absoLUTE best to reflect her mentor right now, after the worm comment.

Anon growls. "For the last time, I'M NOT A FILLY!"

---*---*---*---

Anon now finds herself sitting in the living room of her new foster mother; Bellbottom, a mare with a golden coat, indigo eyes, and a silver mane and tail. Her mark is that of two golden bells with a silver ribbon lacing them together. All in all, she thinks this was probably the best of her options, now that she's laid eyes upon the MILF mare's thicc ass dumpy of a rump.

"I CAN'T believe she's still not taken yet. Are the stallions in this town blind!? Or... maybe there's just less of them around, and she got unlucky? Eh, whatever the case, ho-ly MOMMA." Anon thinks to herself giddily.

That is, until she sees a small colt walk into the room, curiously peeking at the new arrival. This causes Anon to freeze up.

"... That explains it. She's a ho. That, or he's also adopted... Why'd she need multiple adopted children anyway? IS SHE GONNA COLLECT US FOR SOME KIND OF RITUAL SACRIFICE!?" Anon begins to panic, her chest moving in a comical manner as she hyperventilates.

"Now, don't be rude to your new sibling Aster. Go introduce yourself." Bellbottom says gently, ushering her son out.

The colt is silver, with golden eyes, and an ash gray mane and tail. With an asterisk as his mark. Said colt's mouth is currently moving.

"Wait a minute, an asterisk? And I have a question mark... Is she collecting punctuation ponies or something?" She continues to think to herself, only barely registering that Aster was speaking. "Eh? Could you repeat that, I wasn't listening."

"I s-said hi... M-my name is Aster Risk..." The colt barely gets out, clearly shy.

Anon deadpans. "Oh no. No, no, NO! If he thinks I'm cute or whatever, he can put a cork in his dick RIGHT NOW." Anon thinks, miffed. "Anonymous." She says coldly, her uncaring stare causing the colt to shiver a bit more. "Pussy."

"From this day on, you two are brother and sister. Any questions?" Bellbottom asks.

Anon raises her hoof. "Yeah, was Aster adopted too, or is he yours?"

Bellbottom shakes her head. "No, no dear Anon. Aster here is my son, through and through."

"Interesting..." Anon thinks, rubbing her hooves together deviously, with a grin to match. "I wonder if I can get away with usurping this spineless dipshit as the favorite... No, wait, then he might get some kind of superpower and defeat me. I don't need Joestar syndrome working against me."

"Make sure you get settled into your room Anon, you start school tomorrow.~" Bellbottom half-sings out, trotting into the kitchen.

Anon unabashedly stares at the older mare's rear as she leaves. "Wait a minute, school? Oh, right. School of friendship. Fucking... damnit. Now I have to do kid stuff. This sucks balls."

The B Word

---*---*---*---

It's a brand new school day at Twilight's School of Friendship, where the recently arrived Anon Filly sits in the classroom. Sitting next to her, appears to be a changeling filly, something that Anon despised.

"Stupid little barf colored bug. Always hated their reformed appearances." Anon thinks as she grumbles. quietly to herself.

At this moment, Professor Ocellus walks into the room. "Okay class, let's start our day off with a quick little problem. If Somecreature has five cherries, and they need to have double that amount for a recipe, how many cherries do they need total?"

In the front, one of the griffin students raises a claw. "Yes, Gabriel?" Ocellus addresses the student.

"Twelve?" The newly dubbed Gabriel asks.

Ocellus blinks, hiding her emotions exceptionally well, save from the other changeling students in the room. "Okay, would anycreature else like to give an answer?"

The changeling next to Anon raises her hoof. "Oh! Oh! I think I know the answer, Ms. Ocellus!"

Anon proceeds to mock the changeling's voice with high-pitched nothing sounds.

"Quit mocking me, you always do that Anon!" The changeling shouts in frustration.

"Well at least my voice doesn't grate on others' eardrums you bucking bug!" Anon shouts back.

"Anon! Did you just say the B word!?" Ocellus shouts.

"... Bug?" Anon tilts her head to the side a bit.

"No, she's talking about buck. You can't say buck in school you bucking idiot." The changeling filly explains.

"Setae!" Ocellus turns her attention over to the changeling that's next to Anon.

"Why the buck not?" Anon retorts.

"Anon!" Ocellus shouts in a slightly higher pitch than before.

"Hey, you just said buck again!" One of the kirin points out.

"Ashen!" Ocellus stomps.

"Buck." Gabriel says, just wanting to be included again.

"Gabriel!" One of Ocellus' eyes twitch.

"What's the big deal, it doesn't hurt anybody. Buck, buckity buck buck buck." Anon continues to mock.

"How would you like to go see the school counselor!" Ocellus threatens, her composure falling apart.

"How would you like to suck my teats?" Anon snarks, causing the rest of the class to let out a shocked gasp.

"What did you say!?" Ocellus yells, visibly angry now.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Actually, what I said was..." Anon trails off, pulling a megaphone out from her bag, and turning it on. "HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO SUCK MY TEATS, MS. OCELLUS."

The class sits in silence. The memories of such a traumatic time getting to Ashen Fields, she speaks up, if only to break it. "Holy crap..."

---*---*---*---

Detention. Anon got detention. Rightfully so, but that didn't mean she hated it any less. Scootaloo was in charge of detention for the day, and that led to Anon making chicken jokes. Something that both upset, and also disturbed Scootaloo. It got to the point where Anon earned longer and longer detention. Not only did the other students go home already, but Anon ALSO had to fill out more schoolwork, until she'd completed a week's worth of curriculum. And now she's alone, as Scootaloo delivers it to the different classrooms for grading.

As Anon sits in the empty room, she notices a pad of sticky notes on the currently empty desk. Taking it, and a nearby pen, she begins to draw on them out of boredom. Looking down at her rear, she frowns.

"Stupid, useless cutie mark." She grumps, drawing a flaming skull design on the sticky note, and slapping it over her flank. She repeats the process for the other side. Walking over to the window, she squints at her reflection. "This is a cooler mark, even if it's just pen drawn."

The door creaks open as Scootaloo enters the room. "Alright Anon, you can go-" Scootaloo looks around, confused. Then, back to Anon. "Excuse me, where's Anon at? And... who are you? Why are you in here?"

Anon blinks in confusion. "Um... You said I could go, right? I'll just be... leaving, then." The filly walks out of the room, leaving Scootaloo to search around.

"That was weird, guess she really IS a bird brain." Anon snickers on her way out of the school.

---*---*---*---

In town, ponies seem to be just as dumb, asking Anon who she is, and looking genuinely confused. "Why the hell did everyone suddenly go stupid? Is there something in the water? Note to self, don't drink the water."

As Anon walks between some of the buildings to avoid the stupid townsfolk, a particularly strong breeze flows through, knocking the sticky notes off of her flanks. Upon exiting that alley, she notices that the ponies have stopped paying attention to her for the most part. And those that do, call her by name.

"... Freaky. How's that even possible?" Anon tries to think back to what had been so different between then and now. "It didn't start until... The classroom!" She looks at her ass again. "Is that what the question mark does? Ohohohohohoho I take it BACK! This is the best mark ever! I wonder what else it can do..."

Author's Note

Yes, this is a shameless ripoff of a South Park joke. No, I'm not sorry.

An Untapped Market

---*---*---*---

Anon walks gleefully along the streets of Ponyville, carrying herself a wagon full of cold medicine. "This is gonna be so rad. The mare at the counter didn't even question me! Then again, I did tell her it was so I could give it to the hospital... Eh, I don't care. Now, onward to the production of illicit substances!"

Anon arrives at her current place of residence, with a milf and a pansy of a colt. She walks in through the front door, carrying the wagon with her.

"Hi sweetie, what's all that for?" Bellbottom asks.

"Stuff. Figured we could have some extra in case we get sick." Anon lies non-chalantly, carefully making her way down to the basement with her drugs.

"Alright, have fun dear!" Bellbottom giggles, before going back to sweeping the living room floors.

Anon sets the wagon off to the side, gazing at her little collection of supplies. "Finally, I have them all. Now, to put everything here to good use... Thanks random twitter guy, couldn't have done this without you."

Aster follows her down quietly, out of boredom more than anything.

Anon unloads her wagon, setting the cases of bottles down in a stack, opposite to a stack of gallons filled with drinking water. She turns to see Aster at the bottom of the stairs, groaning.

"Oh, am I bothering you? I just, wanted to see what's going on..." Aster apologizes, about to walk out of the basement.

"... Am I really about to do this? ... Yes, yes I am. I don't want him causing problems. Getting him in on it right now should mitigate any chance he'll snitch, especially if I say it's a sibling bonding thing." Anon thinks, placing a hoof on Aster as he's turning to leave. "Aster, wait. I could use your help with this, if that's okay." She bats her eyes at him. "Taking all I have to not barf after that. But, these ponies have their wiles, and I'd better get used to using them if I wanna manipulate the horsies."

Aster stops in his tracks. "You... want my help? Wow! I was beginning to think you didn't like me or something." He beams, walking a bit further into the room, standing out of the way. As he does.

"Yeah. I could use a lab assistant. If you grab what I ask you to grab for me so I can keep my eyes on things, I'd be very grateful." Anon smiles, faking it.

Aster salutes. "Yes ma'am!"

Anon gets to her workstation. "Alright, I want you to grab me both of the measuring cups, funnel, a gallon of the water, one of the empty jugs, and one of the cold medicine bottles."

Aster does so diligently, quickly retrieving the items in the order Anon listed them off in.

With that, Anon begins to pour the cold medicine out of the bottle into the larger of the measuring cups. Placing the funnel over the bottle, she pours exactly half of the medicine back in. Using the smaller measuring cup, she pours the water in until it reads as half of the full bottle's measurement, pouring it back into the bottle. With that, she removes the funnel, caps the bottle back up, and pours the other half of the medicine into the jug. Finally, she gently swirls the bottle of now diluted cough medicine.

"What are you doing exactly?" Aster asks, having been watching intently during the process.

"Preparing the medicine for donation to the hospital." Anon answers, moving onto the next bottle.

"But, why are you putting water in there, and taking medicine out?" Aster continues to prod.

"Look, Aster. I'm gonna be frank with you. Sometimes, ponies need to make money, and sometimes, our talents aren't able to get us good jobs, so we do what we can. I have a question mark, what talent even is that? So, I'm using other means to make money. In this case, turning cold medicine into something ponies also want, but can't get otherwise. This is a secret job, but we get the product out, and get paid for it. And, I think this is a good way to make lots of money. Don't you want to have a bigger allowance?" Anon explains, putting it in the best light she can.

Aster thinks about this for a moment, before nodding his head. "I... guess."

Anon pats Aster on the back. "Good! Oh, and could you put the bottle over in that spot?" She points it out. "Sorting out the ones I've already done is important."

---*---*---*---

A mysterious filly with a green coat, dressed in a black jacket and equally black fedora, carries a black suitcase with her to the Ponyville train station. The time? 1 am, when all of the populace is generally asleep. Save for her, and a couple of shifty, taller stallions wearing beige trenchcoats and fedoras. If one were to look closely, they could see light tan, almost cream colored coats beneath their sleeves.

"You got the goods, Tutz?" The mustached one asks.

"Right here, and the dosh?" The small filly asks in return.

"As promised. Save for, our share, of course." The facial hairless one replies.

"Don't think you can short me, I know my numbers quite well. If I find either of you trying to pull one over on me, you won't have to just worry about the authorities. Capische?" The filly warns.

"We wouldn't dream of it. After all, you're the only supplier. It would be in our best interest to keep on your good side." The mustached one assures her, setting down a black briefcase.

Without another word, they exchange their cases, before parting ways.

"Thank you special talent."

---*---*---*---

Author's Note

Math? I much prefer Meth, thank you. Things get even worse from here fellas, strap ~~on~~ in. Anon has more atrocities to commit than this, and the next one is a fucking disaster.

Brewing Trouble

---*---*---*---

Anon sits in the basement, counting her money as Aster watches, bright-eyed.

"And that, brother of mine, is how you make bank." Anon smirks, taking out two small sums, and tucking the rest away.

"How come more ponies don't do this? This is awesome!" Aster comments, eagerly taking his bits.

"Because, if everybody does it, then it won't make as much money. That's why it has to be a secret, otherwise we won't make any money." Anon lies, taking her small sum and heading up the stairs, Aster in tow.

"If I can continue doing this... Ooh, I could start a cartel! Get my stuff global! Ms. Worldwide! But, who to let in on this... Flim and Flam are only distributors, I need someone with more reach..." Anon grins, having an awful, awful idea. "Time to see how the Canterlot Elite like glass."

---*---*---*---

Anon rides the train to Canterlot, under her fake identity Tutzi Pop. "Ponies stop asking questions when you flash the cash. As they should..."

Soon enough, the train arrives. All in all, it's a short ride, only taking a few hours. Anon steps off, making her way through the streets. It doesn't take long for her to find a business having a grand opening.

"The upper crust always attend these openings. This place'll be crawling with em. Perfect." Anon smirks beneath her hat and shades, coat trailing behind.

Slipping inside, she begins to deal.

---*---*---*---

After a few months of sales, Anon finally has enough to purchase a building in Canterlot. One she's paying contractors to construct all manner of hidden compartments in.

"Alrighty Tutz, we'll be done with this in about two weeks." The head contractor informs Anon.

"Excellent, I see why Fluttershy relies on you guys." Anon slips the contractor some extra bits. "And there's a tip, keep the details hush hush, got it?"

"What details?" The head contractor feigns with a wink.

"Exactly." Anon affirms, walking off to the train station.

---*---*---*---

Anon ponders while in bed, staring at the ceiling. Asterisk's snoring is light, just enough to not be too annoying. "You know... maybe Chrysalis, Tirek, and Cozy were onto something... It's easy to divide the masses thanks to their instinctual herd mentality. And, with my ability to disguise myself... Perhaps I can use that to my advantage. Rule all three races under separate identities. My movements are going to result in a three way civil war, and I'll be behind it all. Take THAT Sheev, I'm playing THREE sides at once!" She thinks happily, drifting off to sleep. The best part of this? Luna's retired. No dreams can expose her in any way!

---*---*---*---

Anon opens up her packages, each from separate professional cosplay creators. "Finally, I can begin moving up in the world." Anon looks to her three key disguises. Fire Starter, an earth pony. Hale Hail, a pegasus with a pair of convincing faux wings. And Superior Mindset, a unicorn with a convincing faux horn.

"Divide and conquer. I'll rule them all under three separate identities. Time to cause problems on purpose." Anon grins evilly.

Bellbottom knocks on the door a few times. "Honey, dinner's ready.~"

Anon tucks the disguises away. "Comiiiiiing!"

Facism is Magic

---*---*---*---

Twilight sits calmly on her throne, Spike right by her side. Their presence is enough to give the other a sense of calm camaraderie in the throne room. That calm is suddenly breached when a pegasus guard bursts in, carrying stacks of newspapers, and sporting a few tomato stains in his fur.

This didn't bode well.

"Princess Twilight! Everypony's gone mad! The streets are full of rioting, ponies are yelling at each-other. And worst of all! They're being racist!" The frantic guard spews as Spike collects and looks over the newspapers, showing them to Twilight.

Her face is contorted in abject horror. "Dear Celestia."

The guard continues. "Even worse, the nobleponies and other unicorns are barricading the city! They're using some kind of shield bubble, but it only allows unicorns through!"

"But, how did they get access to guard magic? Only our top guardsponies should know that spell." Twilight inquires, fearing the answer.

"That's just it, Princess. Our own guards are in on it!" The pegasus guard answers, just as the throne room doors are slammed open.

"GET THAT DIRTY FEATHERED BIRD OUT OF THERE!"

---*---*---*---

Cadence and Flurry look aghast at the crowds forming on the streets. One in particular is listening intently to a hooded figure atop a soapbox as two other crowds of ponies duke it out, throwing things at one another and even getting into hoofie fights. Disharmony is spreading fast among the ironically named empire. But perhaps, the worst offense of all, is the toppling of the statue depicting Spike, the Brave and Glorious. Shining Armor enters the throne room, barricading it, as a letter from Twilight materializes in front of Cadence's snout. Opening it, the trio read it silently. The hastily written letter seems to have some stains on it, confirming the worst. Twilight was captured. The trio turn, as they hear the door being bashed.

---*---*---*---

Anon looks wistfully up at the crystal palace, watching the crystal ponies pour into it from different angles, segregating one another even in their united efforts to dethrone the 'filthy everybreeds' occupying the throne. Before much longer, Anon will be the only one left in power, over all three races, separately across her identities. What's even better, news of her exploits are spreading across all of Equestria like wildfire. Ponies are dividing even in the towns she's never visited. All that's left, is to pay Zecora's hut a visit out in the Everfree. If that amulet is still there, Anon will find it.

---*---*---*---

Zecora hums a tune in her hut, seems age has treated her well. The zebra mare gathers various ingredients from the shelves, a particular little green filly silently taking some of the dry ingredients via fishing line. The fishing pole is raised high against the wall and ceiling, stuck through the glassless window. When Zecora goes to check her ingredients, she notices she's missing some of what she needs. Unaware she's being watched, Zecora exits her hut, trotting off to find what she's looking for.

"Perfect. Now she'll be occupied for a bit." Anon snickers, leaving the stolen missing ingredients out in the bushes.

Making her way inside properly, she begins to poke around for any hollowed, hidden compartments. The first one she finds, has an absolutely MASSIVE horse dildo stowed within. Shutting that one almost immediately, Anon dry heaves.

"I did NOT need to see that!" Anon shakes her head vigorously, before going back to her search.

Eventually, Anon finds exactly what she's looking for. An old, engraved wooden box. Opening it eagerly, she finds the Alicorn Amulet inside, pristine as the day it was put in there. Clasping it around her neck, Anon feels a rush of power. Now, she can become whatever race she wants, and teleport on a whim, among other things.

Just as Zecora opens the door, she barely catches a glimpse of the green filly, before a blinding flash of light fills the hollowed out tree home. Zecora drops the ingredients, looking at the empty box in disbelief, and worry.

Author's Note

And thus, Anon became what she'd turned the citizens against. Don't worry, the princesses aren't dead. Ponies wouldn't think of doing such things without SIGNIFICANT coercion.

Task Failed Successfully

---*---*---*---

Anon sits upon one of her thrones, occupying the Unicorn throne based in Canterlot for the moment as Superior Mindset. Life is good. That is, until she's suddenly teleported by an unknown force to somewhere equally unknown. Well, unknown to her at first, until her eyes adjust to see the starred void known as space.

"Bucking, OW. My EYES." Anon complains to something unseen.

A merry fit of feminine giggles fills the air around her, something Anon thinks is impossible in the void of space. Until it registers that she's standing on a large expanse of cloud. Then, a figure shimmers into existence in front of the filly. Tall, pure white, with flowing, reddish hair.

"Holy... Faust?" Anon blurts, dumbfounded.

"Indeed it is, and you're Anonymous. Or, before that, Annie. Welcome to my domain." Faust gestures.

Anon deadpans. "Awful empty for a domain."

"That's because I don't need to have anything conjured at the moment. My focus is entirely on you." Faust replies.

Anon squints. "I'd ask why I'm here, but I... may have a few guesses."

Faust shakes her head. "No, your sins may be great, but they're not why I have you here with me. In fact, I wanted to thank you for a job well done."

Anon has an aneurysm at hearing this. "W-what!? What do you mean!?"

"Why, who do you think brought you here in the first place? And why do you think Discord's been leaving you and the world alone since your arrival?" Faust asks, gesturing to a spot where a captive Draconequus is being held. "Discord failed to follow my orders, to erase this world to make way for the next. I figured his extra time with Fluttershy would serve as time to let him come to grips with this inevitability. But, he's been corrupted by friendship."

"What does this have to do with me, exactly?" Anon asks, perplexed by this seemingly mad god.

"Why, that's the best part about this. After getting some leeway from those above, I don't have to entirely get rid of this world after all! Just get it to a state where things are as simple as possible, to allow others to build upon my groundwork. I very well can't do that all directly, what would the ponies think of me for that? But you, someone who can properly buck up this world, and strip it of everything but its most solid foundations, were the perfect candidate." Faust continues, pacing around Discord a bit longer, before dematerializing him. "I'm quite impressed, really. I never would have thought of introducing drugs! OR using con-ponies to market it! Such a creative, destructive little mind you have. Of course, I did have to give you that final push, to remember what Chrysalis, Tirek, and Cozy were initially set to do. Before the meddling."

"So THAT'S why I'm here, to be your scapegoat!?" Anon shouts angrily.

Faust nods. "Yep! And at any moment, magic will vanish from the land completely. All beings reliant on it for survival will perish, such as the changelings. Any beings reliant on it for form will separate, name any creature in Tartarus. And after a millennia or so, all recognizable elements will be long gone, forgotten to time. I certainly hope you enjoy living in this time of turmoil, because it's all still your doing. A fitting sentence for tainting my little ponies. Toodles!"

"Wait! You can't-" Anon is interrupted as she's teleported back to the world below.

Faust chuckles to herself, a television set and couch materializing as she goes about her remaining time. She rematerializes Discord, still captive. "Don't worry, she'll go back to her old body as if none of this ever happened when she dies. All she'll retain is the experience, then maybe she won't be such a cunt back on Earth anymore." She assures her failure of a creation, turning the channel to one of her favorites.

---*---*---*---

Anon is unceremoniously plopped back into her throne, as if she'd never been gone to begin with. Despite this, her face seems to be a paler shade of green. Rushing out in her disguise, she tries to speak to the unicorns she'd turned, only to be met with racist remarks when attempting to talk about any other race of pony. Changing her form and teleporting to the others yields the same result. The realization dawns on her.

"I bucked up. And I can't take it back."

At that moment, tragedy strikes. Pegasi begin to drop from the skies like flies, unicorn magic becomes unresponsive, and earth ponies lose their strength. With a spark, and a fizzle, the Alicorn Amulet fails as well, dropping from Anon's neck like a stone. The sticky notes on her flanks fall off, and chaos ensues.

Anon begins to trudge her way back to her foster mother's home, pelted with tomatoes and insults along the way.

Author's Note

And that, is how G5 happens. Goodnight everyone!