What does a guard do when he is bored?

by KingSombraTheTyrantRuler

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Princess Luna, Original Character, Bat Pony, Comedy
Length: 1160

What do guards do when they get bored?

What do guards do when they get bored? Let's find out!

This is a rewrite of this story.

Published 2021-12-15 15:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2021-12-15 15:40:01 UTC

I'm so bored...

Shadowlance's P.O.V:

I've been standing here for Luna knows how long, and I'm bored. Even if this is my job, I'm bored. I AM BUCKING BORED!

What should I do? Give the guards a test while having fun with Cerise?

That sounds like a good idea.

I waited until midnight, and then I put my plan into action. I went to the garden, and Cerise was there.

She loves having fun, and was bored too. So, she agreed.

"Cerise." I whispered as I made my way to her. "You ready?"

"I sure as hell am!" she replied. "Let's get this party started!"

"What party?" I asked.

"It's what ponies say when they're ready." she explained.

"Oh."

"Let's go. The first thing we need to do is climb up the castle wall." said Cerise.

"Can't we fly?" I asked. "What if we fall off while climbing?"

"It's to make things fun. Are you scared, Shadowlance?" she teased. "And if we fall, we have wings, remember?"

"Of course I'm not scared, Cerise." I replied.

"Then you better catch up! Unless you're a chicken of course~" I looked up and saw that she was already halfway up. I climbed after her, I would prove that I was not scared! "Last pony up is a rotten egg!" she called.

I climbed so fast that in a few minutes, Cerise's red tail was a few centimeters above me. I would be able to reach the top before she did.

But I was too confident. Just as I was about to win, I fell. And as I fell, I screamed a scream that sounded more like a mare's.

In my panic, I forgot about flying. So, Cerise jumped off and flew down. She caught me and said, "You should be more careful!"

"I was!" I told her.

"Then how come you fell, screamed like a mare, and I had to save your flank?" she asked, making my cheeks go red.

"You win." I sighed. "Let's try again?"

"Hold on to my tail." Cerise ordered me. I waited for her to start climbing, and then I followed after her, holding her tail as she climbed. I heard her mutter, "I wonder how you got into the Lunar Guard."

We reached the third floor's window, and Cerise pulled out a hammer from Luna knows where.

Then she proceeded to go ahead and smash the window. We climbed in through the smashed window.

Cerise smirked, "Let's see how good our fellow guards are at guarding the castle. When I say run, then you run."

"Um...ok?" My answer sounded more like a question.

"I'm going to start smashing the windows. While I'm smashing them, you're going to run around the castle screaming that the castle is under attack." she told me. " Run!"

I ran and started screaming, "The castle is under attack! Fellow guards, we must defend the castle!"

I stopped outside Princess Luna's room, and I heard her say, "Celestia, are you hearing what I'm hearing? Somepony yelling that the castle is under attack?"

I heard Princess Celestia reply, "I'm hearing the same thing."

"What should we do?" asked Princess Luna.

"Leave it to the guards. They'll manage it." I heard Princess Celestia reply. "Now, let's get back to the cake?"

I bit my tongue so that the princesses wouldn't hear me laughing.

I continued running and saying, "The castle is under attack!"

No guards moved from their place. I went to where Cerise was, and saw that she had smashed all the windows.

"Any guards coming?" she asked.

"They aren't. " I told her. "Let's try something else?"

"Let's take the princess' deserts in front of them?" Cerise suggested.

"Great idea."

So we went to the dining hall. Ten guards were there. To grab their attention, Cerise said as loud as she could, " Now we shall take the princess' deserts! And when the princesses don't find their deserts, they get angry. And when they get angry, they turn the guards into deserts for them!"

I wondered if that last part was true. If it was, then I would feel sorry for those guards.

Even when we moved the cakes and pies, no guards moved.

"Come and catch us!" I waved my tail in front of their faces. "Unless you're too slow."

They didn't move. "This is getting boring." commented Cerise. "Let's make this fun."

Before I could ask her how she would make this fun, Cerise started throwing cake and pies at the guards. Their once clean and shiny armor was now covered in frosting, berries and other stuff.

One licked a piece of cake off his armor. "Yummy." he said.

I facehooved. I wondered how the princesses trusted the guards to defend the castle. All they were doing now was nothing.

Apart from licking their armor, that is. "Cerise, we need to try something else." I said.

"Like this?" she asked. Before I could ask her what she was going to do, Cerise had started to throw ice cream at the guards.

When she ran out of ice cream, she threw moonpies (I don't know why everypony hates them), cake and sprayed frosting on the guards.

She laughed like a foal as she had fun. I threw things too. We were having so much fun, I decided that we should do this more often.

Once we ran out, I looked around the Royal dining hall. It was a mess. A big mess.

I hoped that none of the princesses found out about this.

If they did, then we were doomed. Because, if a guard makes a mess, his punishment is to spend the whole day or night cleaning it up.

And I was terrible at cleaning. Just as I was about to tell Cerise that we should leave, Princess Luna and Princess Celestia entered.

The princess of the sun asked angrily, "What the buck happened in here? You all had a food fight without me?"

Princess Luna saw me and said in the royal Canterlot voice, "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?! THE ROYAL DINING HALL IS A MESS!"

She turned to Cerise who quickly said, "It wasn't me! Blame Shadowlance!"

And with that, she ran out of the room. Princess Luna told me, "Clean this up. Now."

And then she left. I stood frozen for a second, and then I flew after Cerise and shouted, "How dare you blame me! It was your idea! You'll pay for this, Cerise! I promise you that!"

Author's Note

This was a lot of fun to write. Inspired by a comment on the story I wrote before this. Hope you enjoyed this, and leave a comment, and a vote/like. Btw, Cerise is my OC, and she has white fur, a red mane and tail. She's a batpony, and is a lunar guard. She likes having fun, and is friends with Shadowlance. PS: The comment that led to this story was given by Scribblestick.