Trixie woke up with a smile on her face. Today was the day that she didn’t have to get up and shoot any savages, risking getting shot herself; no, today was her day of rest. A day to calm down and collect her thoughts and belongings. She sat up and hopped off her cot, heading out to the patrol’s “mess hall”. Nothing more than a blanket with a few MREs, it really didn’t deserve the name, but it’s the best Trixie had seen in a few weeks. She took her seat to the left of Blaze and grabbed an MRE. Daisy and Hay sandwich. Yum...

She opened the packet, her stomach oblivious to the complaints of her mind with its own agenda. She immediately shoved the sandwich in her mouth, taking a huge bite. Fills me up at least. She looked up to everyone else at the little conclave of unicorns. Everyone was present when she sat down it seems; not unusual, she stays up an extra couple hours for first watch. Every single night.

Blaze was the same really, even with a stew of flowers and grass in her muddy hooves. Still between that stage of close friends, like they used to be, and mere acquaintances. Her heart hurt a bit just thinking about it. Curling, on Trixie’s left, was as professional as ever. She maybe grew a bit slimmer - constant patrols and combat does that - but that was all Trixie could see. Slinking was to Curling’s left, and she had a scar right between her eyes. She had ended up captured on a patrol a few days back, and now had that little slice as a stark memory of it. Stirling was intensely staring at the fire pit, having already eaten. She was idly disassembling her pistol, humming "Yellow Rose in Hayxas". Supposedly, she had a coltfriend waiting in the armor corps. Lucky bastard. Stirling that is, not the col- whatever.

Hardy had a banjo, and was slowly strumming some Southern song. He was like that. Came from New Horseleans, and it showed; he had a Southern flag in his kit and everything. Valiant, on the other hand, was reading a book. This one was called How to be a Good Friend. Well, you can't fault him for trying. His rifle laid just a few feet away, along with a couple more books.

Blaze set down her meal to quickly turn the fire on. Being proficient in fire magic, she got it blazing in no time, then went back to her meal. The group looked into the fire, watching it as it burned. Trixie quickly finished her sandwich and threw the trash into the fire, causing it to roar towards her as it embraced the trash within it's fiery embrace.

Trixie didn't quite know how, but Blaze's fires were special. Stare at it long enough, and you'd start to see something strange; an illusion almost. In this case, Trixie saw... something pink. As she stared into it, it started to form a shape. Her first thought was pink mare? Her second thought was her. Her? Her.

Her? Who is she...?

Clearly everyone else was having fun. Snapping away from her fever dream, she noticed all of the other ponies were smiling, or grinning or something nice. Deciding to break their trances, Trixie asked "Hardy?"

Predictably, the group all snapped their heads up. "Yes?" Hardy responded, smile wiped from his face. He looked annoyed that Trixie had drawn him from whatever he had been viewing.

"Play another song for us, will ya? Hate this silence shit," More likely that pink mare.

"Anythin' in mind miss?" He brought his banjo onto his lap.

"Whatever ya want, just play,"

"Hmmmmmm..." After a few seconds, Hardy began to play his banjo in a way none of them had ever heard before. It was nice, and cheerful. It made Trixie feel... happy, and that's no small achievement. She found herself swaying her head to the beat.

Then, he started softly singing.

"I am a soldier, though I do not wish to be,
I was ripped away from hearth and home.
They sent me straight off into a battle,
Not even a 'thank you', just a gun.
They tore me away from all of my friends,
From my dear family, whom I love dear.
Whenever I think of it again,
My blood simmers in righteous anger."

The song was entrapping. The words weaved around her, filling her ears with their messages; messages she already knew. Her thoughts filled of home and friends; happy Hearth’s Warming Eves; even just walking to school with Blaze. As she was about to speak, Hardy started singing again.

"I am a soldier, though there is no need for one,
This war they have started is not mine.
I do dislike this life of war and rifles,,
For my defense, a stick would be enough.
And so I ask: 'Why do you need soldiers?
Every pony only likes peace and quiet.'
Only tyrants ever need a soldier,
To trample upon a poor pony's field."

Every line Hardy came up with reflected Trixie's thoughts perfectly. Why? Why am I here? Why is Stirling here?

Does a war for survival excuse tyranny?

"I am a soldier, so I just stand on guard,
Watching some fields instead of doing work.
My time is wasted, all my skills are pointless,
I would even prefer to be a clerk.
And so I fight, I waste my time with soldiery,
While my life at home rots and burns away.
Stuck here I am, between bayonets and death,
For my future, I've run out of clay."

Trixie passively sensed as Stirling got up and moved away, rapidly. Probably crying. She couldn't blame her; she wanted to cry too.

"Come you ponies, whether you're from the North,
The South or West, or anywhere else.
Whether red or blue or white your flank,
Let us do business instead of war.
Let us unite, in arms we shall match home,
To save our Homeland from the wretched tyrants.
For only tyrants wish to wage a war,
I want to be a soldier of freedom.
I want to be a soldier of freedom!"

...

...

The whole group remained quiet for a whole half hour. Crickets filled Trxie’s ears as her thoughts ran wild, sedition and heresy filling her head. After that, Trixie quietly got up and headed over to where Stirling headed off to.

Trixie gently pushed open the tan flap of Stirling's tent. "Hey..."

Stirling was laying on her cot, her kit unpacked on the ground. She had flipped her air mat off; in fact, it looked like she had thrown everything but the cot around. Probably in anger... "Hey..."

"You ok kid...?" Trixie pushed her way inside and zipped up the tent behind her. She looked down at the shivering mare. Should I be worried?

Rather than respond, Stirling motioned for Trixie to sit down. Obliging, Trixie sat down next her face, carefully watching. "More..."

Trixie sighed, laying down next to the mare. "That good...?"

In response, Stirling pressed herself into Trixie, eliciting a quiet oomph. “B-better...”

“Hey, you’ll be ok...” Trixie wrapped a forearm around the mare’s head. This is uncomfortable what the fuck am I doing what the Before she knew it, Trixie was starting to tell Stirling a little bit about herself. “I was practicing magic before this all started. I was pretty good at it if I do say so myself,”

“Wh-what type?” Stirling kept her head buried in Trixie’s side, muffling her words.

“Illusionary. Wanna see a trick...?” Stirling turned her head up and nodded. Show time. Show time?! Are you fucking insa- “Heh, alright then...” Trixie carefully started to create a ball of swirling, writhing light at the top of the tent. She then slowly brought it down, flying it around the two ponies. Encouraged by a giggle from Stirling, she wicked the energy past her face to create an image.

Stirling was sitting on a couch with two other ponies. One was all white - albino, it looked like - and the other was orange with a white mane. Who are they? Parents? The three ponies were snuggled up with each other, quietly relaxing in front of a fire. "That look familiar...?"

"Y-yeah..." Stirling let out a weak chuckle. "My p-parents..."

Figured. “Are they nice...?”

Stirling slightly nodded, eyes watering. “V-very...”

“Hey, it’s ok, don’t cry...” I don’t wanna be a fucking mother. Is this being a mother? Feels like it. Babying this stupid little shi-

A loud BANG broke the peace inside the tent. Trixie immediately got up and flipped up her pistol, peering outside of the tent. She could see Slinking’s body, blood spurting from the back of her head as she hit the ground. What. The. Fuck. She held her breath, both terrified and furious, slowly pulling back the tent flap a bit more. She saw the rest of her squad, disarmed, being guarded by a purple mare - unicorn - and a blue one - earth pony. The two had shouldered... something. It looked like a gun, but wasn’t anything Trixie had seen before.

Trixie’s eyes narrowed with hatred. She hissed “Traitor!” as she watched the ponies shove her squad into the back of a truck. The ponies then got into the front and drove away. “Fuckers!”

“Tr-trixie...?” Stirling poked Trixie’s flank. “Is everyone o-ok...?”

“Look for your fucking self!” Stupid little baby. Trixie stomped out of the tent over to her friend’s dead body. Fucking hell. As she watched, a fly lazily landed on the hole left in her head, slowly eating at the flesh. Full of rage, she used her magic to pick up the fly and slowly pull it apart. First, she took off one wing; then the other; then a leg; and so on, until it remained a lifeless, limbless husk. She snarled, using a fire spell to burn the body of the fly, watching as it fell onto Slinking’s. "Fuck!"

Her gaze traveled to the tire tracks. "That's it, we'll follow them! Come on Stirling!" Yes, we can kill them all...

Dead silence.

"Stirling?" Trixie slowly made her way back to the mare's tent. "We have a job to-"

The mare laid in her tent, either unconscious or dead. She had a slight bash wound on the back of her head, indicative of the butt of a gun. "What the fuck?!”

She whirled around, looking for the perpetrator. Her eyes darted between tents, looking for any hostels. She slowly unslung her machine gun. “Come out you fucker!”

Trixie heard a... strange sound, followed by a "You really need better books ma'am," Trixie whirled around to see the purple mare, a rifle butt, and then black.

Author's Note

For those who care, the song is a rough translation of "Ich Bin Soldat", a Prussian era German pacifist song:
https://youtu.be/ZWClFjsaseE

Delay Christmas, yadda yadda, sorry