We're Gonna Hang Out the Washing on the Lunar Line

by I have won

7: Magic is for Nerds. Trixie is a Big Nerd.

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Trixie awoke to a sharp gasp. She scanned the room, eyes still blurry. There was a wall, there's a bookcase, and next to me is... oh, right. Starlight. "Y-you're..." she began to say.

"Whu?"

Starlight giggled, a very familiar and comforting sound. "Seems right..."

Trixie yawned, rubbing her eyes. "How long did I sleep...?"

"Well... it's 6..."

"So... I don't know when I fell asleep,"

Another giggle, making Trixie just want to turn and ki Where the fuck did this come from?! "Yep, that's my Trix..."

Trixie got out of bed and stretched herself out. "So, what's the plan for today,"

"Well, let's see what's going on first," Starlight walked past Trixie - she must have gotten off of the other side of the bed - and pushed open the door. "C'mon, let's go see,"

The two mares walked down the hallway, dead silent. The clattering of hooves was the only thing to accompany Trixie's thoughts: What in fuck's name was that?! She kept mulling it over in her head. She's no one I know... but she's so... familiar...

Trixie jumped as she felt something brush her tail. Looking back, she saw their tails intertwined, although Starlight quickly pulled hers away. "Sorry," she said immediately. "Force of habit..."

Nonetheless, Trixie scooted a step to the right. The silence hung heavy now, drowning out any thoughts with it's pure noise.

After a bit more of awkward walking, the two arrived at the command room. Only Twi was there, scribbling Goddess-knows-what down. "Morning lovebirds," she chirped.

Trixie could feel herself getting flustered. "I- wh-"

"Morning Mrs. Alone," Starlight replied with a sly wink. Twi replied with a scowl, but refused to verbalize her thoughts. "What's the sit rep,"

"I just finished moving the models," Twi replied.

Rather than explore her feelings - that's hard after all - Trixie decided to take a look at the table. Almost all of the Unicorn tanks were gone; however, they had covered a third of the distance between Canterlot and the front. Conversely, the UPDF - United Ponies Defense Force - had gained a model on the front, meaning the plan probably worked. The other fronts seemed static.

After putting a winter coat on her torso and a green helmet with three stars on, Starlight studied the map. "Where's the Air Force?"

"My bad ma'am," Twilight put up four flying pegasi, colored in the UPDF colors, above their borders.

Immediately, Starlight began moving pieces around. She moved UPDF artillery near the breach, then had infantry units go around it. Finally, she used the one armored unit to smash the theoretically trapped enemies. Genius. However...

"Starlight, what's that knocked over UPDF unit just behind this bulge?" There were two infantry models, both knocked over, and one Unicorn infantry model.

"A POW camp. Why?"

"Well..." Trixie retracted Starlight's moves a couple steps, and instead of instantly filling the gap, she had the armor weasel through it and dash towards the POWs with a unit of mechanized and a special supply unit. That unit would then free the camp, and the infantry would still push the other side

"...allowing them to meet up... here," Trixie clicked the mechanized and Spec For together. The proposed encirclement had half of the Unicorn models.

"Trix..." Starlight pulled out a paper and started scribbling orders down. "Genius,"

"Thank you. Now I'm gonna go get some breakfast,"


The Officer Corps ate in the planning room. That is the only place they stayed; planned, and organized, and dozens of other things in that cramped little room.

Trixie did not like that.

About halfway through the lunch break, she got up to 'use the restroom'. She wasn't mad at the other ponies in there really, she just... she wanted more, or so she assumed.

She walked down the officer hall, staring at the floor. Thinking. War normally doesn't give time for such petty things as free will, thinking, or love, but Trixie could afford it. What is with that mare... she must be wearing some sort of drug, because she's so damn addictive!

Trixie could never fall in love.

As she was getting ready to turn around, she heard the slamming of a door. Whipping towards it, she found herself locked in by two Changelings. They were wearing badges with wings on them. "Looks like ve found her!" one of them said.

"Jawohl. Get her!" Suddenly, the two were flying at her with lightning speeds. Trixie barely had the time to throw up her hooves before she was crushed against a wall.

"Who the fuck are you?!" Trixie shouted, pulling up a shield in front of her.

"Zat does nacht matter. Vorwärts!" The other Changeling cane towards her with a glowing sword; when it touched her shield, her shield dissipated as the sword... cut a hole in it.

All Trixie could do was stare in disbelief as her defences were rendered useless. As the center of her shield clattered to the floor, she called back her magic and instead pushed the force upwards, from below him. The magic and metal clashed, and although the Changeling looked a bit shaken, he was physically ok. How in the

"Vibranium! It reacts to magikal trauma very vell!" The other Changeling laughed. "Now die!"

This time, Trixie rolled out of the way, causing the Changeling to hit the wall. As she did, she noticed that they had no armor on their rears. What if I...

Approximately one 'soul' of magic is required to kill a pony through blunt trauma. Changelings take a little extra. So, when Trixie applied one hundred souls, directly into his anus and thus into his guts, he had no chance of surviving. As soon as Trixie cast her spell, the Changeling exploded into blood. There weren't even guts; too much force was applied too quickly. The armor clanged to the ground, coated in more red than she thought was possible.

"You vucker!" The other one screamed. Trixie laid on the ground, mouth agape at the carnage in front of her. "I'll... I'll ki-" The other Changeling blew up, but with much less force; Trixie got smacked in the face by his helmet, and a healthy share of guts.

Shaking, she stood up. That. Was. Sick. Queasy, she walked outside, trembling as she stumbled forwards. I should do that more!


Trixie swung open the staff door. "About ti..." Starlight started.

"Hey girls..." Trixie giggled. She fucking giggled. I'm so badass. "Had a bit of a... run in with some Changelings back there..."

Then she fell onto the floor.


Trixie woke up in a bathtub. Starlight stood behind her, washing her hair. "Faust, it really got in there..."

"Yeah," Trixie sighed in bliss as she slid into the bath. Been years since I had a nice bath...

If Starlight was surprised, she didn't show it. "Well, that should be everything then," Trixie inspected herself, and indeed her body was clean. She felt extremely refreshed, yet simultaneously unlimitedly tired. "You can get out now,"

After a few minutes, the two mares lay in bed. Thankfully for Trixie, it was large enough that they didn't have to touch; unfortunately, she found Starlight dragging her close.

"I swear this'll make you feel better," Starlight said, pulling Trixie in once more.

"No! I don't wanna deal with this tonight!" Trixie replied, slipping away once more.

"Well... fine..." Starlight sighed. "I'll leave you be then,"

Starlight turned off her lamp, flooding the room in darkness. All Trixie could hear was the thumping of her heart. Badum. Badum. Badum. She could hear Starlight's snores. Would she mind if I...? Trixie slowly rolled towards the mare, looking up to make sure she was asleep. She carefully laid Starlight's foreleg out and laid herself on Starlight's chest before wrapping the foreleg around herself.

Heh, she was... right...


Author's Note

Gonna be on vacation for a few days.

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