The Silent Treatment

by Some Leech

Rating: mature
Tags: Human, Kirins, Anon, Porn, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Fetish, Comedy, Sex, Profanity, Slice of Life, Autumn Blaze
Length: 5255

With things having taken a turn with Ember, Anon second-guesses the randy raptile's help and makes a bold move...

Anon had thought that Ember was there to help him, to whisk him away to some safe haven, but he'd been deeply mistaken. Wishing for nothing more than to use her new, bipedal plaything, the Dragon Lord becomes increasingly rambunctious and, as such, Anon decides it's time to flee from the domineering dragoness and stake out on his own...

Kinks Include: Male on Female, Female on Male, Female on Female, Vaginal, Interspecies, Size Difference, a Threesome, Trickery, the Liberal Use of Hands, Silent Sinning, Not-So-Silent Sinning, and Despoiling Royalty

Artwork by DankFlank (@Dankflank1)

If you want to help support me, I have a Tip-Jar/Patreon HERE

Published 2021-12-22 21:20:05 UTC
Last updated 2021-12-22 21:20:05 UTC

Depraved Diplomacy

Anon’s legs hurt, his hips ached, and his lungs burned, but those were only in part due to his mad dash away from the ravenous reptile who hunted him. He’d spent the better part of three days trying to evade her, hiking at night and resting during the day, and yet he still couldn’t relax. Where once he’d viewed Ember as an amorous savior, he now knew her for what she truly was - a covetous saurian who may well be trying to kill him.

After they’d first arrived at his refuge, an abandoned dragon outpost within the Pine Needle Barrens, he’d actually been in good spirits. Ember’s temper had cooled, her assertive interest in him was somewhat pleasant, and he’d briefly thought he might just avoid the clutches of the Princesses, but that was a bitter memory. As the days dragged on, with his host becoming increasingly aggressive and pushy, he tried to stay optimistic - that was, until he noticed her starting to change.

At first, he’d assumed he was imagining things, remembering her being smaller and less heavily built, but it wasn’t an illusion - Ember had been steadily growing in size and strength. Having been strong enough to overpower him from the get-go, her power eventually reached a downright menacing level. Unable to fend off her advances, with more than a handful of evenings ending in him feeling more like a used sex toy than a human being, he’d eventually reached his breaking point.

On the eve of the fifth day with her, having waited until she’d fallen asleep, he’d gathered his things and set out into the night. He had no idea where he was going, what direction he was headed in, or if he’d ever find an answer to the mystery of why nobody seemed to know what sex was, but he knew he had to get away - if only for the sake of his nearly crushed pelvis. Rationing what little food he had, moving in the direction of a nearby mountain range, his progress was as slow as it was arduous, leaving him exhausted each and every morning.

The end of his third night had been much like the first two, with him finding cover and doing his best to get comfortable for some rest. Easing himself under a particularly large pine tree, praying to the heavens that he’d be concealed from anything in the sky, he eased his head against his satchel, closed his eyes, and drifted off to sleep. While he would have killed for an actual bed to rest in, he took solace in the fact that he wasn’t going to have his hips ground to dust by a domineering dragon.

…

“Hey,” a soft voice began, “you’re not dead, are you?”

The question was preceded by a gentle poke to his ribs, fully wrenching him from his slumber. Bolting upright, scanning the area in a panic, his thoughts went haywire. If Ember or the Princesses had found him with his pants down, metaphorically speaking, he’d more than likely be fucked in the all too literal sense. As he twisted in place, frantically looking for whoever had awoken him, his eyes ultimately settled on a bushy-maned thing.

Whatever he was looking at definitely wasn’t a pony, although it had a few similarities to one. Roughly the same size, and with a pair of brilliant, golden peepers, her head was wreathed in a tawny mane. The tree-like horn, fern colored plates on her back, and shaggy tale had him at a loss, yet her smiling face did manage to dismiss his most immediate concern.

“I’m gonna take that reaction as a ‘I’m not dead’ response,” she exclaimed before gasping and grasping his cheeks. “Wait, unless you’re undead! Are you a zombie?”

“What? No,” he balked, reflexively shoving her away, “I’m just a human.”

“And I’m a kirin,” she chirped, holding a cloven hoof to her chest, “but that doesn’t explain why you’re trespassing or smell like you just got finished having an orgy with a bunch of crocodiles.”

Her one-two punch of glib statements sent him reeling, damn near making him bonk his head on the tree he was leaning against. While the declaration of trespassing was a bit disconcerting, especially since it was coming from a creature he couldn’t identify, the way she’d dismissively mentioned him smelling like an orgy demanded every iota of his attention. Squinting down at her, he leaned forward.

“Say that again…” he murmured, unsure if he’d heard her properly.

“What ~ the part about encroaching on our land or the part about you reeking of lizard pussy?” she countered, piquing a brow.

His jaw hung open, and his heart skipped a beat, as she affirmed his suspicions. Somehow, after all the shit he’d been through, he’d managed to find someone who knew what sex was! There were a million and one questions he had for her, ranging from those regarding what she was to others revolving around her knowledge of the intimate, and he honestly didn’t know where to start.

Taking a small step back, she squinted up at him. “You ok there, Romeo?”

Anon shook his head and attempted to gather himself, pinching the bridge of his nose. “The name’s actually Anon.”

“Autumn,” she announced, thrusting a foreleg in his direction, “Autumn Blaze.”

“Pleased to meet you,” he hummed, shaking her hoof. “If you don’t mind my asking, would you mind answering a few -”

“Ah ah ah -” she tutted, cutting him off, “we can talk about whatever you want on the way back to the village. It’s a long walk and we’ll have plenty of time to chat before we arrive for your trial.”

Stopping dead, he stared in disbelief down at her. “My what now?”

“Your trial, silly! You know, those things that criminals get before they’re sentenced for breaking a law!” she dismissively explained, turning around and waving for him to follow.

Getting to his feet and walking after her, his thoughts raced. “I’m not sure I follow you - hell, I didn’t even know this land belonged to anyone!”

“It’s alright, it happens all the time -” she snickered, “then again, I guess it’s understandable that you wouldn’t know about it, seeing as how we usually imprison interlopers for life.”

“Life?!” he croaked, misstepping and face-planting into the dirt.

The actual whiplash of the minor concussion wasn’t nearly as bad as the mental whiplash she’d put him through in just under five minutes. Pushing himself up and dusting himself off, he peered down at the remarkably cheerful creature. Though she seemed nice enough, the flippant remark about his impending imprisonment sent a cold chill up his spine.

“Lucky for you,” she continued, shooting him a knowing smirk, “I might just have a way for you to weasel out of this situation scot-free.”

Walking to her side, he studied her face. There was a chance that he could book it, but that didn’t seem like a good or practical idea. He was in unfamiliar territory, had no idea where he was heading, and he had a sneaking suspicion that her gnarled horn wasn’t simply for show. Whether she was fully aware of it or not, in spite of his superior size, she had him in a corner.

“I’m listening,” he muttered, keeping an even tone.

“Our ruler, Rainshine, is a total nymphet, but she hadn’t gotten laid in ages,” Autumn stated, leading him down a barely-visible path.

Shaking his head and rubbing his temples, having a sneaking feeling as to what was coming, Anon’s smile faltered. “And…?”

“And that’s just where you come in, mister dragon slayer,” she giggled, slowing to elbow him in the calf, “or should I say dragon layer.”

“Ok, just hold it right there,” he huffed, stopping dead in his tracks. “Before we discuss this supposed plan of yours, you’re going to answer a few questions for me and let me get a shower somewhere.”

“I don’t know about a shower, but I can show you where you can take a bath,” she countered.

“That’s better than nothing, I guess,” he sighed, waving for her to continue, “lead the way.”

As he trailed along at her side, being led to heaven knew where, she gave him the answers he sought - well, for the most part. Apparently her tribe were small and relatively secluded, having next to no dealings with ponies of any kind, so they were blissfully unaware of who he was and the transgressions he’d committed. According to Autumn, the kirin had lived on their own for several generations and were happy enough to keep to themselves; it was all fascinating and a bit perplexing, though not as interesting as their apparent amorous appetite and proclivity for perversion.

If his guide wasn’t bullshitting him, the kirin were exceptionally freaky creatures. Unlike the rest of Equestria, who didn’t have the foggiest clue as to what sex was, the strange little equines reveled in their carnality. The only problem was, given their relatively small population, they only rarely got to experience anything new in the bedroom - as such, his appearance and violation of their territory meant he might be able to effectively whore his way out of what would normally be a sticky situation.

Chatting with Autumn on the way to and into her lodge, he found himself steadily warming to her company. Her sunny disposition, chattiness, and willingness to help were a far departure from the imperious clutches of Ember. She’d answered every question he presented, let him use her bath, and had even offered him a few refreshments while they talked.

Were it not for the bizarre circumstances of their encounter, as well as the subsequent offer of him fucking his way to freedom, he genuinely wouldn’t mind getting to know her better - that being said, things were far from perfect. She couldn’t explain the rest of Equestria’s lack of carnal knowledge, which was a bit disappointing, but that wasn’t his chief concern at the time.

Having washed up, dried off, and changed, he walked from her hut and towards the center of the village with her. “So - uh - do you have any tips for how to win this - what was her name again - Rainsomething over?”

“Rainshine,” Autumn corrected, smirking up at him. “And, yeah, I’ve got a few. She’s mute, for starters, so don’t take her silence for a bad thing. Secondly, and here’s the real important part, she’s a total sucker for romantic stuff - I’m talking go full Don Juan with her. Lots of kissing and compliments, whispering sweet nothings, and staring into her eyes when you’re making hot, passionate love to her.”

He pursed his lips, noticing her shiver and wipe a bit of drool from her chin. “And you’re sure this will work?”

“Anon, would I lie to you?” she scoffed, balking at his doubt.

“I mean, I guess not,” he admitted. “So just go in there and put the moves on her, right?”

“Exactly,” she affirmed, opening the door of a particularly large hut. “Don’t worry, I’ll be right here to keep an eye on you.”

“Wait,” he coughed, taken aback by what he’d just heard, “you’re going to wa-”

“Your majesty,” Autumn loudly interrupted, stepping inside and bowing, “I bring an exotic visitor.”

Anon’s eyes were drawn to the far end of the dimly lit cottage, where he spotted who could only be Rainshine. Laying atop a dias, garnet-like eyes twinkled in the soft light, she raised her head. Though she bore many similarities to the other kirin he’d seen in the village, she was much larger than her kin, similar in size to an alicorn, and her horn was positively massive.

“Psst -” Autumn hissed, catching his ear, “that’s your cue, Casanova.”

“M…my liege,” he unsteadily heralded, strutting up to her and sinking to one knee, “it is an honor and a privilege to meet a regal beauty such as yourself.”

Keeping his head lowered for a moment, he extended his arm, gingerly lifted her fetlock, and kissed her forehoof. It wasn’t like he had much experiences actively trying to woo creatures, having found himself in one licentious situation after another, but he couldn’t afford to fuck this up. Peeking up at her, seeing the light grey of her cheeks grow rosy, he put on the best charming smile he could muster and pressed the attack.

“Fair Princess,” he began, placing a hand to his chest. “In all my years of wandering, both in this world and my own, never hath mine eyes beheld such a captivating creature. My heart - nay, my very soul quakes at the vision before me.”

Moving his free hand to her face, gently caressing her cheek, he peered deeply into her eyes. Though he may have been hamming it up a bit, she was an attractive creature. The contrast of her hemlock and teal streaked mane against her creamy coat were quite stunning, making the act far easier than it could have been. Leaning in, lowering her foreleg, he shook his head and exhaled.

“Forgive me,” he whispered, shying away. “While your resplendence has only just graced my soul, would you permit me a small blessing?”

Her eyes grew wide, while her blush darkened all the more, as her ears perked up. Her silence lent Autumn’s claim credence, bolstering his resolve and emboldening him. If he really could win her over, he might get his freedom and, if he was really lucky, a temporary asylum from his growing list of pursuers! Beaming over at her, guiding her muzzle towards himself, he moved forward and pressed his lips to hers.

Though she started slightly, tensing against him, she didn’t attempt to flee - in fact, her reaction was just what he’d been hoping for. Breathing hotly on his face, with her eyelids drifting closed, she pushed back against him and reciprocated. Her passion alone was enough to inspire him, almost enough to make him forget the threat of being locked up, leading him to really hit the gas.

Moving his hand up her jaw, down her back, and to her hind-quarters, he firmly squeezed her rump. After being coerced and occasionally forced to plow a veritable cornucopia of creatures, the change in power dynamic was remarkably refreshing. Crawling forward and driving her back, he wrapped an arm around her back.

A contented hum behind him assured him that Autumn was indeed present, but that wasn’t going to stop him now. Even though she’d mentioned keeping an eye on him, he couldn’t help but wonder if she had an ulterior motive for staying and watching the engagement. Shaking her from his thoughts, he focused on the task at hand - at least that had been his plan, before a long, powerful tongue wormed into his mouth.

Going on the offensive, Rain locked her forelegs over his shoulders, rolled back, and hauled him atop herself, but she wasn’t done yet - not by a long shot. Deftly splaying her hind legs, she snapped her lower limbs around his hips. Just like that, at the drop of a hat, she turned the tables on him.

On one hand, the fact that she was excited boded well for his potential pardon - on the other, he hadn’t anticipated she’d be that enthusiastic to be romanced by a perfect stranger. Gathering his courage, he playfully humped against her. He was all for having her enjoying herself, but he was not about to be prayed upon by yet another overzealous female - not again.

Twisting to his side, he wriggled his hand between them and reached for her groin. If she thought she was going to overpower him, she had another thing coming. As his fingers worked down her soft belly, past her course, curly bush, and to the humid warmth of her loins, his counterattack went suddenly awry. The soft sound of evoked magic and a subtle glow bathing his face shook his concentration, before he felt his shirt being pulled up his frame.

“Wait wait,” he blurted, rearing back and breaking their kiss.

He wasn’t opposed to getting naked, yet he wasn’t willing to risk having his clothes sorcerously torn in the process. Shuffling back and getting to his knees, he hastily wriggled out of his shirt and tossed it to the side. The second the garment hit the floor, he reached for his shorts.

As he undid his belt and pulled at his fly, a chuckle escaped him. The absurdity of it all didn’t escape him. The universe had a very strange sense of humor or he was the most blessedly cursed guy in all of existence - still, he was glad that things hadn’t turned out worse than they had. It felt fair to say that he was the first human to have plowed a handful of royals, a Captain, and a butt-slut couture, and he took a small amount of pride from his exploits.

Once the dust ultimately settled, if he survived it all, he could very well write and publish a book about his lewd adventures - that is, if he didn’t end up getting vaporized or thrown into an oubliette. Simultaneously amused and saddened by the depraved route his life had taken, sliding his trunks down his thighs, he placed his hands atop his head and leaned back slightly. Smirking down at the supine kirin, unabashedly putting his bare body on full display, he alluringly rocked his hips from side to side.

“I hope you appreciate the view,” he purred, “because you’re about to get a much closer - Eeep!”

His girlish yelp of surprise came from an unexpected and very firm slap to his backside. Whipping his head around, both startled and a bit frightened by the smack, he found the culprit just behind him. Grinning like an idiot, with her forehoof still outstretched, Autumn stood just to the rear of his clenched, bare ass. He’d hoped that, at worst, she’d simply be a voyeur, but that wasn’t the case.

“Are you gonna fuck her in missionary or in a mating press?” the little kirin nonchalantly inquired, tearing her eyes off his buns and to his face. “I’d go for the mating press, since it’s hard for most stallions to hold her hind legs and rail her at the same time.”

“Thank’s for the -” his nonplussed response was cut short, as his head was mystically wrenched around to face the sovereign.

Though Rain didn’t say a word, her eager nodding and broad smile left little room for doubt - she was ready to get things started. Grasping the base of his length, shuffling back just a touch, he got into position and drew the tip of his manhood between her meaty lower lips. Her marehood looked strikingly similar to any other ponies, aside from her bush, which meant he should be able to get her off easily enough, but he wouldn’t know until he tried.

Slowly, cautiously, he drove his hips forward and sank into her depths. While she wasn’t exactly a snug fit, likely due to her size and supposed promiscuous nature, the heat of her interior was staggering; Ember’s snatch, if that’s what it was actually called, had been exquisitely hot, but this was on another level entirely! As he reached the midway point, with half of his shaft entombed within her velvety confines, he tenderly patted her thigh.

“Gonna need you to relax your legs, if you want me to drill you into the floor,” he smoothly remarked.

Relaxing and lifting her lower legs, she freed his hips and wordlessly allowed him to proceed. It was a bit strange fooling around with someone who couldn’t talk, but reading her body language had been easy enough - that and she was positively drenched. As he grasped her fetlocks and guided them towards her shoulders, a sudden movement caught his eye. Casually trotting over, probably to get a better view of the action, Autumn stopped just to their side.

“Don’t mind me,” the chatty little mare hummed, easing her chest to the floor, “I’m just gonna…”

Anon’s eyes widened slightly, seeing the smaller kirin reach between her braced hind legs. He wasn’t surprised that she’d wanted to watch the impending show, but hadn’t expected she’d start shamelessly getting herself off - sure, he couldn’t exactly see her rubbing herself, but there was only so much she could be doing with her forehoof on her groin. Feeling the ruler squeeze his shaft, he shifted his attention back to the Monarch.

Bending forward at the waist, driving Rain’s legs to either side of her head, he eased himself deeper and hilted. Though her eyes fluttered slightly, and a shuddering breath escaped her, she remained utterly silent. It was definitely going to be a coupled pair of first experiences, bedding a mute while having an obscene observer present, yet the kinkiness of it all added a raunchy je ne sais quoi that inexplicably got him going.

Spreading his legs just a touch, ensuring he would be nice and steady, he started pumping his hips. The sensation of her marehood was exquisite, like molten silk against his sensitive flesh, and he quickly acclimated to her body temperature. Closing his eyes, he enjoyed the event and only gradually increased his speed.

He’d screwed enough different beasts to learn to savor the experience, and it wasn’t like he was trying to rush. Following his captivity and borderline rough ravishing that Ember had subjected him to, having effectively become her prison bitch for the better part of a week, the tender lovemaking was downright therapeutic. Relishing her soft fur against his skin, feeling the heat of her breath against his cheek, he could only assume she felt the same.

“Fuck her harder,” a delicate whimper instructed, snapping him from his reverie. “Yeah, really give him that hyu-man dick.”

Looking to the side, seeing Autumn gnawing her bottom lip, he knit his brow. He’d been trying to savor the moment, but the voyeuristic chatterbox seemed to place precedence on her own lecherous wants. Slowing a touch, seeing her bliss-stricken expression, inspiration hit him like a bolt from the blue. There was a way for her to get her rocks off and get a damn good view of the action, but it would require her to get her hooves dirty.

“Hey, Autumn,” he huffed, continuing to hump away, “how about you come over here and lick your Queen’s clit? I’m sure she wouldn’t mind returning the favor.” He waggled his eyebrows down at Rain, genuinely curious as to if his little gambit would pay off.

Drawing to a halt and rising to her full height, Autumn ceased her self-consummation and sauntered over. “I wasn’t going to impose,” she cooed, “but since you offered.”

Seeing that both the Princess, or whatever the hell her official rank was, didn’t seem to mind having a third participant involved, Anon reared back and made some room. Drilling someone in a mating press was all well and good, but there was a strong argument to be made for the view afforded by missionary sex - that and having a threesome would check yet another item off his bucket list. All but stopping, waiting for Autumn to get into position, his eyes settled on a cushion.

“Autumn,” he hastily added, nodding to a nearby pillow, “grab that and put it under her ass.”

Following his gaze, Autumn levitated the cushion and moved it towards him. “Mind if I ask what this is for, or is it a surprise?”

“Honestly,” he grunted, lifting Rain’s lower half a few inches off the floor, “I really wanna hammer her g-spot - I mean, even though I can’t make her squeal, I can still make her squirt.”

“Oh hohoho - Anon, you cad,” the golden-eyed kirin tittered, sliding the pillow into place. “I’m liking you more by the minute.”

“You ready, your majesty?” he asked, leaning to the side to peer at the Queen’s face.

Though Rain didn’t make a peep, she responded by shooting her head forward and burying her muzzle between her subject’s thighs. Autumn groaned and shuddered, visibility quaking atop her ruler, before she pulled herself together, lowered her face, and began lapping at the sovereign’s stuffed cunt and winking clit. Inordinately pleased with himself, Anon picked up right where he’d left off.

While the added sensation of a tongue on his pistoning length, occasionally licking the nectar and pre-cum from his shaft, was nice, the view of the sixty-nining mares really got his motor running. Out of all the raunchy things he’d done in Equestria, having a ménage à trois with a mute royal and one of her subjects was a damn strong contender for being the best. Alternating between peering down his face at Autumn and looking to Rain feasting on the smaller equine’s nethers, he subconsciously increased his pace.

The inclusion of the pillow worked wonders, despite the Monarch’s inability to speak. The quivering of her depths and trembling of her thighs were all the gratification he could have asked for, yet he had no way of knowing how close she was. Pushing the envelope, moving his hands to her knees, he pulled her to himself with each plunge. He’d said he was going to make her squirt, and he’d be damned if that wasn’t exactly what he planned to do.

Periodically peeking up at him with a single eye, holding her head to the side to avoid impaling him on her horn, Autumn clearly had a grasp of the theatrical. Even if her whorish moans and sinful whispers were faked, something he very much doubted, the kirin’s depraved utterances were like a symphony, perfectly complementing the hedonistic endeavor. Though he couldn’t exactly shoot her a thumbs-up, and didn’t want to spoil the moment by congratulating her, he shot her a wink.

“Oh Anon,” she mewled, rocking back and grinding her marehood against Rain’s face, “please breed our Queen! Pump your hot, virile load deep into her foal-factory and knock her up!”

Fuck if he knew if she was being serious or not, but the idea of impregnating the silent sovereign tickled his id and tapped into his primitive, fundamental need to reproduce. Moving harder and faster than ever, he rocked her body forward with every thrust. As he appreciated the sight of Rain’s pink interior being drawn out with every backstroke, he noticed an odd glow.

Abruptly fucking the Queen with augmented force, his heart thundered in his chest. Though it only took him a split second to realize that Autumn was using her magic to aid him, there was nothing he could do about it - moreover, it felt amazing. The liberal addition of persuasion sent him skyrocketing towards release, demolishing his endurance and steady pace instantaneously. Gritting his teeth, he did the unthinkable - he went all out.

Like an obscene orchestra, the sounds of heavy breaths, slapping flesh, domineering grunts, and Autumn’s wanton noises of delight filled the hut. Though not one of the trio took note of it, a number of kirin peered in through the doorway and windows, unabashedly getting off to the display. Like their leader, the gaggle of equines noiselessly rubbed their throbbing marehoods or stroked their stallionhoods for any and all to see.

Anon realized he wasn’t going to be able to hold out for long, but Rain’s climax sank the final nail in his coffin. Throwing her head back and issuing a breathless scream, her marehood violently convulsed and gushed hot nectar over his loins. Autumn fell next, howling out a string of unchaste expletives while painting her ruler’s face with fem-cum. With the pair reaching their orgasmic demise, he started to unload his precious essence.

It felt as good or better than any of his previous exploits, possibly due to the liberal addition of several kinks, but there was one thing he couldn’t help himself from doing. After pumping the first and biggest shots into the quaking Monarch, he abruptly withdrew his pulsing length, leaned back, and painted the smaller kirin’s face. To her credit, in spite of having just cum herself, Autumn launched forward and wrapped her lips around the tip of his erupting cock.

As far as he was concerned, creampying a royal then having the seed nursed from his dick was the perfect conclusion for the lascivious affair. Stroking her cheek, he smiled to himself and watched her pull away. She was cute enough as it was, but the addition of a few strands of his glaze made her all the more appealing - hell, if things actually worked in his favor, he might just get the chance to give her a real roll in the hay.

“I hope that was good enough for you, my liege,” he panted, moving to the side and easing himself down beside the royal.

The Queen falteringly pushed herself up and motioned Autumn over. Assuming that the two were going to communicate in some mystical way, watching in silent reverence, Anon got more than he could have bargained for. Without saying a word, with Autumn keeping a sizable amount of jizz in her mouth, the duo began heatedly making out. His semi-flaccid dick excitedly twitched at the sight, doing its best to stand at full mast, as he eased himself down beside the ruler.

Rain’s glittering eyes languidly wandered over to him, as she rolled over and draped a foreleg over his chest. While he couldn’t be one hundred percent certain, she certainly seemed to be happy enough with him. Returning the gesture, lovingly reaching over to stroker her hip, he glanced over at Autumn.

“You wanna be my big spoon?” he asked, bringing a smile to her lips.

“Like you’d have to ask,” she sarcastically giggled, bounding over to plaster herself against his back. “By the way, you might want to stay here for a few days - you know, just to curry some favor with Rain.”

Looking over to the Queen, seeing her vigorously nod, he chuckled and shook his head. “If it means you lot can point me in a safe direction to travel in, and maybe give me a few snacks for the road, I guess I’ve got no choice.”

Staring up at the ceiling, sandwiched between the two kirin, he breathed a sigh of relief. All things considered, his situation could have been much, much worse than it was. He’d added a new species to his catalogue of carnal accomplishments, found some semblance of refuge, and might even find a few clues as to why his hosts were familiar with eroticism, but those could wait until after a nap and some well-earned shuteye. As he reached up and pulled a pillow under his head, making himself comfortable, a nagging thought reemerged.

Ever since he’d had his little fling with Cadance, his whole life had been turned upside down. Every day was an adventure, with him bumbling into one bawdy situation after the next, and it didn’t appear as though there was an end in sight. Though he’d mused that fate had conspired against him, he couldn’t shake the idea that there was something more to it - some other force at play. Assuring himself that he could deal with the idea later, hearing a faint laughter from somewhere outside, he drifted off to sleep with a renewed glimmer of hope…