Fartswarming Tales

‘Twas the night of Hearthswarming in the Apple family home,
Where two ponies were slumped with a gurgle and a groan.

The mares had been partying, festivities merry, as they’d stuffed their faces with eggnog and sherry.
Now there were two: just Applejack and Twilight, and they both took the couch where they’d surely spend the night.
For their bellies were full with seasonal grub; roasted veggies and gravy causing quite a hubbub!

In the cool of the darkness, set aglow by the fire, Twilight let up a belch that climbed an octave higher.
She blushed, swished her tail, “Please excuse me!” Said Twi,
And Applejack responded with a glint in her eye.
Seconds later, there it came, the roar of a beast!
AJ’s own burp smelling just like her feast.
The two ponies giggled, showering gas here and there,
AJ leaned over and blew back Twilight’s hair.
Twi pinned her down, licked her maw, opened wide,
And out, like a dragon, rushed a baritone tide.

Their stomach air swirled in a thick seasonal fog,
Both ponies laid back, engorged like a hog.
Twin storms were brewing, and it was AJ who started,
She leaned to the side, closed her eyes hard and farted.
The sofa rumbled for ten seconds... more?!
Twilight’s jaw fell all the way to the floor!

Applejack finished, “Try that on fer size!”
Twilight shifted her plot and narrowed her eyes,
If there had been a mouse stirring ‘pon that chilly night,
Then at that moment it would wake with a fright,
From Twilight’s fat ass both sweaty and round,
Came a noise like watery firecrackers that rippled her mounds.
Applejack leaned in to see if it was smelly,
And her eyes shot wide open with a startled “Whoa nelly!”
The hot winds were ripe with a stifling taste,
‘Twas onions, sulfur, and under that laced,
A nose-wrenching zing! Not unlike a sewer,
Alcohol, it seemed, always went right through her!

Wafting her hat, her freckled cheeks glowing,
Applejack rolled on her belly and the gas started blowing,
Like a latent volcano of hot greasy guff,
It rained down a perfume of fermented foodstuff,
Twilight’s eyes closed, her nostrils widened,
The thick fruity reek of her friend’s farts was ripened!

Shy of eight seconds, it purred and it sputtered,
And then promptly ended, “Phew, boy!” AJ muttered.
Not one moment later, from the other end of the couch,
Came a sharp heated blast, then a lazy unicorn slouch.
Applejack retorted, with a pop and a hum,
With a full plume of stink from her full freckled bum.
The war rattled on, the pace keeping merry,
Twilight dusted the sofa in the ghost of her sherry,
They pushed their flanks together, what a fragrant display!
Trapped bubbles gurgled--tails fluttered and swayed,

One parp at a time, their bellies grew less,
Though that post-dinner pudge was replaced with a mess,
Of cloying reek and dizzying fetor,
At least the friends were now feeling better.

The night carried on, the ponies lay down and rested,
But even as she slept Applejack could not be bested,
Though the friends lay soundly asleep,
Their sweaty backsides continued with a peep,
And a poot, and a toot, and a hiss and a growl,
The Hearthswarming contest would not end for now.