A Life Like Mine (Only Ends One Way)
I guess, deep down, I knew a life like mine only ends one way. Still, with everything I've been through... All the things I've seen and done; I guess I'd convinced myself that I was invincible. Or, at the very least, I'd pushed the possibility of getting hurt far enough to the back of my mind that it didn't even register as an option.
Time after time, some crazy threat would face Equestria. Time after time, my friends and I defeated the big bad and life just went on as usual. Tirek, Discord, Cozy Glow and all her minions... None of them stood a chance against us. You can't blame me for getting a little cocky, can you? It really started to feel like the world was some sort of grand stage play, and the script was written in our favor. It was more than just dumb luck that we kept prevailing. It had to be. Maybe divine intervention, or maybe just sheer willpower to keep smiles on the faces of every pony. Either way, we couldn't be beat. I Couldn't be beat. Until now, I guess
Honestly, I think this is for the best. The darkest parts of my subconscious are whispering to me at this very moment. It's saying that maybe, just maybe, I threw this one on purpose. That I pulled my punches because I don't want to live to see my friends grow any older and weaker, and I selfishly wanted to go out the hero. I'm not sure I believe that, though. I really feel like I gave that monster my all. Unfortunately, "my all" isn't as much as it was all those years ago. I'm old. I'm tired. I used to be the fastest flyer in all of Cloudsdale, but even I can't outrun the natural order.
I'm worried for Applejack, and for Scootaloo. I've accepted my fate, but will they? How much do they really need me? I'd like to think they needed me a lot. That through the years, everything I did for them wasn't just for my own satisfaction. Eh, they'll be fine. I know they will. Applejack is the toughest mare I ever knew, inside and out. Sure, she could buck a tree out of the ground in two kicks flat, but that was only part of her strength. When Granny smith left us all those years ago, I could tell how much it ate away at her. I could feel the sadness radiating out of her, and yet not once did I see a tear in her eyes. She always said "You have to let the good memories be good."
And Scootaloo? She's just as strong as AJ. To go through life knowing that your dream of flying through the clouds will never be realized? To face all the bullying and strange looks she received every day? I'm not sure I could even handle that. I wanted to grind those bullies in to dust for her, but she'd put a hoof on my chest and stop me.
"It's okay, Rainbow Dash. They don't bother me." She'd say frantically, as I tried to calm myself down enough to act with any level of coherency.
They're both stronger than me, and I'm glad. That means they'll be alright. I wonder what comes next? Is there some sort of after-life? Is it a blank nothingness, comparable only to the deepest sleep? I guess it doesn't matter. Whatever it is, I'll find out soon enough.
I have no regrets, which is probably a rare thing for somepony on their way to death's door to say. No, no regrets. Instead, I can't help but feel this warm glow of gratitude. I have so much to be thankful for. My friends, Applejack, Twilight, Rarity, Pinkie, and Fluttershy; They made each day an adventure. They helped me even when I was too stubborn to admit I needed help. I got to do things that almost nopony else did, and... Oh, it looks like I'm crying a little bit, huh? Don't worry, Applejack. These tears are happy ones. I'm letting the good memories be good.
You know, scratch what I said. I have one regret, and it's that I won't be able to make more memories with my friends. If my body wasn't so broken, I'd get back up and kick this monster in the face for taking that opportunity away. Bah, who am I kidding? I tried that once, and it's the reason I'm laying underneath this tree with my wings bent in 14 places that they shouldn't bend.
If there is an afterlife, I hope it's just replaying all my greatest hits. The memories that find their way in to my mind almost every day. Maybe I'll wake up young again, bouncing on a raincloud until it shoots a bolt of lightning at an unsuspecting purple unicorn that's just trying to prepare for the Summer Sun Celebration. Then things fast-forward a bit, and I'm standing on the top of the podium after my first Wonderbolt competition. I'll just keep re-living all those awesome days until I reach the end, and then I'll be bouncing on that rain cloud again.
Or, maybe that would be wrong. Maybe what makes a memory special is that it's a single moment in history, and no matter how impactful it is, it can never be revisited. Besides, if you're only focused on the past, you'll let the future pass you by. Maybe those ponies that believe in reincarnation have it right. That would be neat. If I was re-born soon enough, could I find my friends again?
I know they'll be able to take care of this monster. The rest of the girls might be getting old like me, but Twilight is an alicorn. This monstrosity is gonna set one foot in to Ponyville and Twilight is gonna zap it in to oblivion. In hindsight, I should've let her lead the charge. Of all the things I lost in my old age, my arrogance wasn't one of them. Somepony forgot to tell my brain that my body couldn't cash the checks it was making anymore, I suppose.
I'm tired, now. I think I've just about ran my race. Whatever is on the other side, I'm glad for all the things I got to experience here, on this side.
Author's Note
I've never tried writing anything in a first-person perspective before, so I figured I'd give it a shot. Any criticism is welcome, I'm still new to writing and would like to improve. Thanks for reading!
