Where the Sane Dare Not Tread
“Celestia?”
Princess Celestia looked up from her dinner salad and turned to her younger sister sitting across from her. “Yes, Luna?”
The Lunar Princess shifted her solid blue mane out of her eyes. “What doth thy student enjoy during her leisure?”
Celestia’s brows rose slightly. “You mean Twilight Sparkle?”
Chewing on a bite of cereal, Luna nodded. “Mhm.”
“May I ask why?”
After swallowing, Luna replied, “We wish to offer her a gift for Hearth’s Warming for what she did for Us. We believe t’would be an appropriate gesture, would it not?”
“Oh, Luna, that’s very sweet of you. I’m sure Twilight would dearly appreciate that.” A little smile made its way to Luna’s muzzle as her sister replied with a quiet chuckle, “Well, you could never go wrong with a book. The only dilemma would be getting her one she hasn’t already read.” Celestia tapped her chin for a moment, then leaned toward Luna and whispered, “Tell you what, I’ll go into the Restricted area of the Canterlot library and see if there’s something it can part with. I won’t be concerned for its well-being; if you tell Twilight she needs to be careful with a book, believe me when I say she’ll take it seriously.”
Luna’s smile widened as she responded, “We thank thee sincerely, dear sister. We know so little of thy student, and We owe her a great debt.”
The Solar Princess shook her head with a smile. “I highly doubt Twilight would say that you owe her any debt, but I’m certain an additional present under her Hearth’s Warming tree would be a welcome surprise. I can even sneak it into the Ponyville library while she’s sleeping,” she said with a wink.
Giggling behind a hoof, Luna said, “Thou never told Us that thou art Santa Hooves, Tia.”
Holding back a snort, Celestia replied, “Actually, when Twilight was first studying with me as a filly, I was.”
After a shared laugh, the two finally calming down, Luna added, “Art thou perchance familiar with Twilight’s companions? We wish to offer them gifts as well.”
At that, the elder sister shook her head. “I’m sorry, I don’t. What little I know of them has been from Twilight’s letters, and I don’t think it’s enough information for me to give you any suitable suggestions. I haven’t spent enough time back in Ponyville to get to know them, I’m afraid.”
Luna nodded. “Understandable. We did not expect it. We shall become acquainted with them Ourselves tonight.”
Celestia’s eyebrows rose again. “Oh? You want to take a chariot to Ponyville? It may be—”
“Nay, sister, nay,” Luna interrupted with a shake of her head. Another smile made its way to her muzzle. “We are pleased to inform thee that Our powers have been slowly returning; with a bit of effort, We have been able to enter the Realm of Dreams once again.”
A little gasp left Celestia’s muzzle as she clapped her hooves together. “Oh, Luna, that’s wonderful!”
“Indeed,” Luna responded, her smile reaching her eyes. “Since thou hast generously offered thine assistance with Twilight Sparkle’s gift, We shall walk her companions’ dreams and attempt to determine suitable gifts for each of them.”
Celestia chuckled as she held a hoof to her muzzle. “That’s rather sneaky of you. Though I can’t say I’m surprised— you were always the stealthier of the two of us.”
Luna giggled. “We are glad thou dost still acknowledge that fact.”
After a moment, Celestia’s expression took on an air of seriousness. “I have no intention of stopping you from attempting this, Luna, but please do me a favor: if simply entering the Dream Realm has required a large effort from you, please don’t push yourself so hard to enter others’ dreams that you exhaust yourself. Okay?”
“Stay thy worries, Tia, We shan’t,” Luna replied. With that, she rose from the table and added, “But if thou hast no objection, We would like to begin promptly.”
Shaking her head as she rested her fork in her empty bowl, Celestia rose from the table as well and said, “Night time is your time, Luna; you do whatever you like.” Giving Luna a nuzzle, she added, “Just be careful, alright?”
Luna returned the nuzzle with a smile. “We shall, Tia. We thank thee for thy concern. Have a good night’s rest— We shall see thee come the morn.”
“Goodnight, Luna. See you in the morning.” As Luna trotted off to her bedroom, Celestia smiled to herself. You’ll be raising the moon again in no time.
Luna shut her bedroom door behind her, then closed the curtains with her aura as she made her way into the room proper. Stopping just beside her bed, she started tapping her chin.
“Now for Our investigation. But with whom do We begin?” She looked up at the clock above her door. “Hm. ‘Tis still rather early, but…” Turning the matter over, she eventually came to a decision. “Perhaps the pink one. If what We witnessed of her at the celebration she arranged for Us is any indication, she likely expends enough energy that she tires early. We shall keep Our feathers crossed that she hath not arranged yet another celebration tonight…”
Nodding, Luna climbed onto her bedspread and made herself comfortable. Closing her eyes, she dove deep into her core to summon her magic. A minute later, she opened them again to find herself surrounded by a vast, starry expanse. Smiling to herself, she said aloud, “Ah, ‘tis becoming easier with each night. We shall be at full power soon enough.” Staring straight ahead, she focused once more, and eventually an endless hallway of doors rushed up to meet her, slowing down upon its approach.
With a flick of her hoof, the hallway continued flowing by Luna as she bent the starry realm to her will. Before long, the hallway came to an abrupt halt as Luna held up her hoof. To the left of her stood a bright pink door, with the image of a set of yellow and blue balloons emblazoned on the front. “This must be it. ‘Tis the only door that could belong to such a pony. We are fortunate that she hath indeed fallen into slumber.” After giving the door’s knob a glance, the door opened on its own to a white portal. Taking a deep breath, Luna held her head high and strode through the portal with confidence.
What she found on the other side of the portal did not surprise her in the slightest. Standing in front of a kitchen counter, rapidly rolling a clump of dough between her hooves, was the pony known as Pinkie Pie, surrounded by nearly a dozen ovens.
“As We expected,” Luna thought aloud, standing in the doorway that served as the entrance to Pinkie’s dream. “One who enjoys their work hath no objection to dreaming about it.”
Pinkie giggled as she threw her hooves out, allowing the dough to spin and hover in midair without a thought, before catching it in her hooves once again. Then she turned her head towards the counter and said, “This is gonna be the best Hearth’s Warming party ever, Gummy! Pies, and cakes, and cupcakes, and cookies, and donuts, and snickerdoodles, and everything in between!”
Luna’s brows rose when she saw each form of dessert suddenly appear out of thin air right in front of a corresponding oven as Pinkie spoke them, dropping onto tables that appeared just as quickly. “Not quite as expected. But ‘tis a dream.” Luna shrugged. Turning to focus her attention on the ‘Gummy’ that Pinkie addressed, she found a miniature alligator standing on the counter. Said alligator gave no response to Pinkie’s exclamation other than licking its own eye.
“‘Tis a rather odd choice of creature to keep as a companion,” Luna noted, putting a hoof to her muzzle to suppress a chuckle, “but if it satisfies, who are We to judge?”
Indeed.
Luna’s ears perked up when she heard a baritone voice coming from all sides. What in Equus was that? Her eyes flew in all directions in search of it, but found nothing. ‘Tis perhaps a trick of the realm. After one more eye shift back and forth with furrowed brows, she turned her attention back to the pony before her.
“Ooo, goody-goody! Everything’s ready! Time to partay!”
Pinkie Pie then began pronking in place; on her third bounce, Luna found herself in a different room in a flash, surrounded by ponies wearing red hats with white trim and puffballs on the tips. Tinsel and rainbow lights surrounded the room, and a decorated evergreen tree sat in the corner by a window. If the register and display on one side of the room were any indication, it appeared to be the front room of a bakery.
Luna’s head whipped back and forth at the split-second scenery swap. “But We—” A moment later, she smirked and shook her head. “As We said, ‘tis a dream; We of all ponies should know better than to question.” She looked ahead and discovered Pinkie in front of a dessert spread, which she recognized from only moments earlier. She strode forward casually, allowing some of the ‘party-goers’ to phase through her translucent form as she made her way to the table where Pinkie stood. The party pony in question was once again speaking to the miniature reptile, who was now standing on the dessert table and also adorned in a tiny matching hat.
“See, Gummy? I knew this would be the best Hearth’s Warming party ever! Pinkie Pie never disappoints!”
The gator simply licked its eye.
Luna couldn’t help but giggle as she glanced around the room. “Thy celebration doth indeed look splendid, Miss Pinkie Pie, though We fear thy companion may be unable to tell thee so.”
What makes you think that?
A gasp left Luna’s muzzle as she recoiled from the table, looking in all directions for the voice that reappeared. “That was no trick! Who art thou, intruding in Our realm?!”
You are mistaken, Your Highness. This is our realm that you have intruded upon.
A moment later, Luna watched as she solidified and the dream faded into translucence, though it continued as normal. All but one part.
The gator.
Luna’s eyes widened as Gummy’s head slowly turned and looked straight toward her, and the voice from all sides returned.
Welcome to the mind of Pinkie Pie, Princess of Dreams.
Her brows furrowing, Luna said, “Nay, ‘tis impossible. ‘Tis thou speaking to Us? How canst thou possibly be traversing the Dreamscape?”
Oh, it is indeed possible, Your Highness. And I am not traversing the Dreamscape. I am merely a guest in Pinkie’s dreamscape.
Luna’s brows only furrowed further. “…’Tis still impossible. We are the only pony with a powerful enough empathic field to enter individuals’ dreamscapes. The Dreamscape is the hub which allows entrance to each— if thou hast not walked the Dreamscape, how canst thou be here?”
Why, Your Highness, you said it yourself; you are the only pony with a powerful enough empathic field. I am no pony. In terms of how I am here… Gummy slowly turned his head toward what appeared to be the entrance to a kitchen— the same kitchen where Luna had seen Pinkie baking the desserts spread on the table before her. While you indeed entered Pinkie’s dreamscape through the hub… The door shimmered, solid pink replacing its translucence, clearly identifying it as the door where Luna had entered Pinkie’s dream. Gummy’s head then turned the opposite direction, and Luna followed his gaze. She found herself looking at a door that appeared to be the bakery’s main entrance from the outside. Said door then shimmered into solidity as well, to a bright green. I am granted entrance through the back door.
Luna’s jaw dropped. “Back door? There are no back doors to ponies’ dreamscapes! ‘Tis impossible! We would—”
Princess, Princess, please, Gummy interrupted the princess’s rant. You don’t know Pinkie Pie. ‘Impossible’ is not a word that exists in her lexicon. Come, allow me to show you something.
Luna flinched as a marble pedestal materialized beside her, which Gummy slowly walked onto. The second his last foot hit the pedestal, the translucent bakery around them changed in a flash. Luna glanced around, finding herself on what appeared to be a frozen pond, and saw Pinkie Pie skating squares atop it. A moment later, one of the squares lifted into the air on its own and broke in half. One of the halves suddenly turned purple, and a wooden stake flew up from the pond and wedged itself into the bottom of the ice block. Pinkie Pie then took the opportunity to skate up to it and begin licking it with a bright smile.
“Did she just…” Luna stared at the pink pony in front of her, unable to finish her thought.
Create herself a giant popsicle? Yes, yes she did. And it is not the first time she has done so.
Luna turned back to Gummy and saw him still staring forward at his supposed ‘back door,’ which was now approaching them in much the same manner as Luna’s hallway. Upon appropriate proximity, the door opened on its own, and Luna and her reptilian guide flowed through into another starry hallway. Instead of doors, however, there appeared to be viewing frames along what served as a wall.
Welcome to my bridge, Your Highness. This is my route to Pinkie Pie’s dreamscape from my own. While you have empathic powers to visit all ponies in their dreams, Pinkie and I have just enough empathic power between us that we were able to create this connection.
Luna could only gawk at her surroundings. “How is this… In all Our years, We…”
If you knew Pinkie Pie, you would understand. Or I should say, you would know better than to try and understand. Gummy licked his eyeball, then turned to face Luna once again. Now if I may, Your Highness, why are you here? Pinkie has not had any nightmares for weeks. I was under the impression that you assisted ponies in fighting their nightmares, not to have a casual visit.
Shaking herself from her entrancement, Luna finally turned to address her guide. Still unnerved that she was speaking to an alligator—one who seemed to be using aural telepathy, no less—she asked, “Well, We… We wished to give thine owner a gift for Hearth’s Warming. In thanks for purging Us of the Nightmare that held Us captive. We have not seen Pinkie Pie personally since that day, so We know nothing about her that could serve as aid to select an appropriate gift. We believed We could walk her dreamscape for inspiration.”
Gummy licked his eyeball, then stared at her for a time. …You couldn’t simply visit us in Ponyville and ask?
Letting out a snort, Luna retorted, “We wished for it to be a surprise!”
Somehow Luna heard the gator chuckle. Fair enough. Well then, Your Highness, you may just be in luck. I might be able to help you.
Her demeanor shifting completely, Luna’s eyebrows rose. “Truly? That would be most wonderful!”
Luna heard another chuckle. Yes, truly. Look around you, Your Highness.
Once again Luna took in her surroundings. Each frame held a moving scene. One of which showed Pinkie baking in the kitchen with a dozen ovens that she had witnessed only a few minutes earlier. “Pray tell, what exactly are We observing?”
This, Your Highness, serves as an archive. Pinkie Pie’s memory is near limitless. She remembers every second of every day. Every piece of information she has been privy to of every pony she befriends. Every dream she has ever had. This hall is not only my bridge to Pinkie Pie, but it is where Pinkie keeps her dreams. You saw how quickly her mind switches tracks.
Suddenly, another frame appeared on the wall, one showing Pinkie Pie creating a popsicle out of a pond, which the two of them had seen only moments prior.
Ah, she’s starting another one. I wonder what the next one will be?
Luna stared wide-eyed at the newly created frame. “But she just— Only moments ago she—”
You get used to it, Your Highness. Since I am not there, Pinkie is likely dreaming about something, somepony, or someplace where I was not present.
Once again shaking herself from her stupor, Luna turned and asked, “Thou claimed that thou couldst help Us determine a gift for thine owner. In what manner canst thou do so?”
Indeed. Look here, Your Highness. Gummy then stared at one of the viewing frames, and it flew past them, bringing them translucently into the scene and causing Luna to flinch. The princess found herself on what she could only describe as a gray farm, with a farmhouse, a silo, and a windmill, but nothing appeared to be growing.
“Where… where are we?” Luna asked her guide, who was still standing on his pedestal.
This is the farm where Pinkie Pie grew up. I know what you’re thinking— that nothing is growing here. You would be wrong. This is a rock farm.
Luna cocked a brow. “A rock farm? We were not aware such a thing existed.”
Neither did I, until Pinkie Pie dreamed about it. Now, you may see how drab it is now, but look here…
The two turned and found a young Pinkie Pie bouncing through what had to have been considered a field. Upon passing them, each rock transformed from being some shade of gray, to assorted colors of the rainbow. She then stopped in front of one that had become a bright red—conveniently located right in front of Luna and Gummy—and took a big bite of it. She happily chewed and swallowed, then continued bouncing down the field.
Luna deadpanned at the rock that was now minus a chunk of itself. “Did she just… transform that rock into… rock candy?”
Indeed she did, Your Highness. Indeed she did.
The princess then found herself and her guide flying backwards into Gummy’s archive, the alligator immediately shifting his gaze to another frame.
Now, look here, Your Highness.
Luna barely had time to turn around before she found herself flying into another scene. This time she was sitting on a cloud, apparently in the Wonderbolt Stadium.
“A sonic rainboom! She did it! She did it! Woohoo!”
Turning toward the source of the voice, Luna found Twilight Sparkle, with Pinkie Pie and two more of her friends.
“Is that not the shy one jumping up and down?”
It is, Your Highness, but that is not what we are here to witness. Give it a few moments.
Said moments given, Luna then saw a rainbow being created right before her eyes high in the sky.
“Marvelous. ‘Tis the pony known as Rainbow Dash creating that visage, is it not? Most fanta— hey!”
The princess suddenly found herself being rained upon, but it was most certainly not water. She held out her hooves and discovered—
“Are these… Are these Skittles?” She turned back to the cloud where Pinkie Pie sat, and found the party pony wearing a wide grin, her mouth wide open as the candies pooled in her mouth.
They are indeed, Your Highness. Pinkie Pie likes to… taste the rainbow.
Luna deadpanned at the alligator standing on his pedestal, then the two of them flew backwards once again. “‘Twas terrible, Mister Gummy.”
Licking his eye again first, Gummy responded, It isn’t my dream, Your Highness. He turned once again, looking at another scene, and the two of them were transported to a dark forest.
It took Luna only a moment to figure out where they were. “This is the Everfree. Our old castle is here. Why have we come here?”
Look over there, Your Highness. Another took residence in the Everfree during your absence.
Following Gummy’s gaze, Luna discovered a hut built into a tree, all sorts of bottles hanging from the branches. Among the branches were sets of vines, and hanging by her muzzle from one of the stretching vines—which was a bright pink—was Pinkie Pie.
“Pinkie Pie, please, what is it you’re doing?
You should be inside while my potion is brewing!”
“Mut Zecora, dese mines taste so goo!”
Luna deadpanned at the scene. Then she turned to Gummy. “Let Us postulate— taffy?”
It certainly seems so, Your Highness.
“Well, at the very least, We are pleased that it is a shaman who hath taken residence here and not some creature who wishes to utilize the Forest’s chaotic magic for nefarious purposes.”
Very true, Your Highness, very true. But that is all we need to see here.
Once again, Luna and Gummy were thrust backwards into the starry hallway. Shortly thereafter, the alligator spoke again.
Well, I believe that is everything I need to show you, Your Highness. Do you know why I did so?
After looking around at the walls again, then back to the green door that led back into Pinkie’s current dream, Luna nodded as she turned back to her reptilian guide. “We believe so. Between these viewings and the dreams We witnessed first-hoof, We have seen a commonality: thine owner appears to have an obsession with sugar.”
There you go, Your Highness. If you were looking for inspiration for a gift for Pinkie Pie, I think that is the best you are going to get.
Luna nodded again. “We believe that is enough. And We do have an idea; perhaps thou couldst confirm if thine owner would enjoy it?”
I can give you honest feedback, yes.
“And thou canst keep it confidential?”
Of course, Your Highness. I wouldn’t dare reveal a surprise. Pinkie loves surprises.
“Splendid!” Luna clapped her hooves. “We thank thee most sincerely. Now… We shall admit, We have a bit of a sweet tooth Ourselves. Not as bad as Our sister’s, but still… We recently requested the design of a certain sweet that will not be disclosed to the public, and is meant for Our muzzle only. ‘Tis called an Everlasting Gobstopper. Thou couldst continuously sup on it and it would never shrink, frequently oscillating to an alternate flavor. Dost thou believe Pinkie Pie would enjoy such a thing?”
Gummy stood on his pedestal, silent. Then he licked his eye. Luna’s eyebrows tilted upward.
She would be ecstatic, yes.
Luna grinned as she clapped her hooves again. “Splendid! Ah, this was a most successful endeavor!”
I am glad I could be of assistance to you, Your Highness.
Luna nodded emphatically. “Yes, We thank thee sincerely, sir Gummy. Thou hast been most helpful.”
‘Sir’?
Luna giggled. “We believe thou hast earned the title, yes.” She turned and looked back at the bright green door. “If thou hast no objection, We intend to find inspiration for thine owner’s companions as well. We may exit back through there, correct?”
Indeed, Your Highness. Let’s see what Pinkie has in store for us when we enter.
The door approached them on its own, then opened when it came to a close enough proximity. As it opened, Luna found herself in the bakery once more, this time standing in front of a window looking outside. Gummy stood beside her on the windowsill. An absolute swarm of parasprites flew by the window, apparently fleeing from something. Suddenly, Pinkie Pie bounced by and clamped down on one of them in her mouth, a moment later blowing out a pink bubble.
Luna and Gummy turned to each other.
“Gumballs.”
Gumballs.
First letting out a sigh, Luna chuckled. “This has been a most informative visit tonight, sir Gummy. But it is time We visit another.” She turned around and saw the door to the kitchen, still a bright pink. “We shall take Our exit.”
It was a pleasure assisting you, Your Highness. Perhaps I will see you in Ponyville soon? You do have a present to deliver, after all.
Luna giggled. “Santa Hooves may be making that delivery in Our stead, but We shall certainly try.” She walked over to the kitchen door, opening it to reveal the white portal that led to the Dreamscape. Before walking through, she turned back to the window. “Once again, We thank thee sincerely for thine assistance, sir Gummy. As thou requested, perhaps We shall attempt to visit thy true residence. Until then…”
Luna couldn’t help but smirk.
“May thou and Pinkie Pie have sweet dreams.”
Author's Note
Luna and Gummy. Dear lord, what a combination for a prompt. This is probably as close to a crackfic as I'm gonna get. 
Merry Jinglemas! 
