You've been awake for HOW long??
“Prithee, do tell me exactly why you insist on doing this to yourself?”
Luna’s voice barely registered in the mind of the half-asleep human slumped over in the chair before her. His face was almost entirely blank, his gaze transfixed on a specific point on the far wall of no particular significance. His clothes were ruffled and unkempt—his hair equally so. The only thing keeping the man awake was sheer determination, and maybe the tail end of just a little bit of caffeine (if one defined the terms “ungodly amount” and “little” as synonyms, that is).
“Because I have no self-control, and I hate myself,” the human eventually replied in a groggy tone, temporarily breaking his trance to rub his eyes. “I made it through the shift, though!”
“Indeed you did,” Luna stated with a quiet titter. “Though, I do imagine that it would have been markedly easier had you not remained awake all day long beforehoof.”
“Yeeesss, but then I would not have been able to finish Octopus Game, and you know how Midnight Penumbra is when it comes to spoilers! She was, in fact, talking all about it today!” the human explained, looking to the night-colored alicorn with a look halfway between victorious and defeated. “Besides! With enough caffeine, anything is possible!”
“Yes! Like addiction, emotional dependency, massive headaches when you are without it…” Luna listed with a smug look, ruffling her wings as she paced back and forth.
“Oh shut it, you,” the human fired back. “Don’t think I don’t see how much coffee you drink when you finally manage to drag your flank out of bed.”
“Mmmmh, but you see, I am an alicorn—a goddess given flesh—and you, my dear human, are… human! A mere mortal with all of the inherent limitations therein,” the navy-colored mare stated smarmily, confidently grinning all the while.
“I suppose that’s why you practically jump out of your skin every time one of the maids comes by with a vacuum?” the man retorted, adopting a smug grin of his own as he stared the princess down.
This comment made her stop in place, her face adopting an indignant look as she gave a faux scoff. “Bold words, He-who-cannot-bear-to-stand-at-any-ledge-higher-than-ten-meters.”
“Ah ah ah! But I thought that I was just some mere mortal, and that you were a goddess given flesh! Do you mean to tell me that maybe Her Majesty is a bit more mortal than she might care to admit?” the human teased, attempting to turn his friend’s own words against her.
“Even goddesses have fears, knave, it is simply… oh, who am I kidding. You win that one—but make no mistake! You shall not win the next!” Luna declared as she flared her wings out, soon thereafter breaking into a fit of giggles. “Seriously, though. Get some sleep.”
“Mmmmh,” the human hummed as he tossed his head back in mock-resistance. “Fiiine. But I won’t like it!”
“On the contrary, my good friend… I think you will love it,” Luna’s confident grin returned. “In fact, not only do I think, but I know!”
“Is that so?” the man asked with an inquisitive glance. “And, pray tell, how willst thou ensure this?”
“My word, I offer you a chance to enjoy a good day’s rest, and you mock me for it?” Luna placed a hoof to her chest in a dramatic, exaggerated display of mock-hurt.
“As if you didn’t just get finished mocking me earlier!” the human laughed.
“Well yes, but I had already conceded that battle just mere moments ago! Has your mortal mind forgotten already?”
“Yes, but you… but I… crap. You win.”
Luna did a happy dance as she tittered excitedly. “That makes 297 Luna, 50 Anon!”
Hearing the number managed to get a wince out of the exhausted man. “Do you really have that many on me?”
“Oh trust me, 147 is nothing compared to the lead Celestia has on me. You will live,” Luna giggled as she shook her head. “In any case! …What was I about to do?”
The human considered, for a moment, leaping on the opportunity the mare had just presented him to get back at her, but decided after a moment’s consideration that he would let it slide. Right now, practically the only thing on his mind was his bed, and continuing to tease each other—while he did quite enjoy it—was not going to get him there any more quickly. “You were about to tell me how you know that you can make me enjoy getting a good night’s rest.”
“Ah yes!” the princess’ face lit up the moment she remembered. “Exactly how I am going to accomplish that… is by doing this!”
All of a sudden, with a rapid and dexterous movement, the starry-maned alicorn unfurled her wings, darting forth and gathering up her human friend before just as quickly changing directions, flying off at speeds more comparable to a pulsar than a pony towards the bed at the far side of the room. In what felt like no time at all, the human found himself tucked snugly beneath the covers of Luna’s bed, the alicorn princess holding him tightly with her head nestled next to his.
Letting a pleased nicker drop from her muzzle, the mare opened a single eye to gauge her friend’s response. “Well?”
The human had already melted into the hug before she had had a chance to speak, snaking his arms around her body as he eagerly returned the embrace. A happy hum escaped him, his lips curling into a broad, genuine smile as he nodded his head. “You win again… I think I’m going to sleep like a rock today…”
Although she considered stating the new statistic of her now 148 lead over the human, she decided against it, instead resolving that perhaps the best thing to do was to simply lie there and enjoy the happy moment. “Snuggling always leads to pleasant rests… well, almost always. Snuggling in the middle of a desert in the heat of the day probably would not be very conducive to that.”
The man was already sound asleep by the time Luna had finished speaking, his lips still curled upwards, and his embrace around the mare still wonderfully tight. Luna tittered quietly to herself as she unfurled a wing, draping it over her sleeping friend’s form.
She imagined that smile would not be present on his face when she woke him up at a reasonable hour the next evening.
Author's Note
I must admit that while I do try, my sleep schedule can sometimes be somewhat like Anon's here. Inspiration for a short story struck, and so I seized upon it!
Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed!
